#and I think im going to take advantage of that

[astertimberwolf]

I feel insane (in a good way) because I somehow managed to do this to myself: resolving all of my trauma, with very little to no guidance. Blindfolded. In the dark. With pitfalls sporting spiky bottoms surrounding me on all sides and while balancing myself on a thin thread.

I did fall and survive being impaled several times, where I thought I was done for, for good- each time thinking "this is it, this is how it ends" ...and yet, finding a way to climb back onto the darn thread over and over again. It only cost me like...

(Hold on im gae, tired and counting with limited brain cells and energy)

...16-17 years of my life to get there? Yeah. That's how long ago it's been, since depression hit me hard... All the way up until now.

That's a long-ass time. Over a decade and a half...

...Was it worth it?

Remains to be seen. Depends on how the next couple of years play out.

I hope a healed mind, heart and body will finally give me the chance to thrive- something I've been robbed of for all of my youth... No thanks to my shitty parents and other blood relatives that enabled neglect and abuse. No thanks to all the people who sexually assaulted or groomed me, r*pist included- and definitely no thanks at all to the shitty human beings that bullied me, used me, made fun of me, verbally, emotionally and psychologically tore me down, never gave me the benefit of the doubt, called me the worst names in any book ever written- and betrayed my trust, taking advantage of my ignorance, benevolence and naïvety. Y'all can go f*ck yourselves. I have forgiven very few of you- and only partially when it comes to some of the things you've done to me. Some (people and things), I will never forgive... Karma will return the favor tenfold, don't you f*cking worry.

*takes a deep breath*

Despite the justified rage boiling up inside of me for all the shit that I've had to endure... I know I've done damage as well, some of which permanent. If anything, I want those people to know that 98.5% of the times where that happened, it really wasn't intentional, planned or whatnot. Life is just chaotic- and at times I've snapped where I couldn't take the pain anymore. But I've become a lot stronger, wiser, kinder, better- and I won't show my anger / rage / ugly side if I can help it.

I'm far from perfect. Doubt I'll ever even come close to scraping- or even so much as seeing perfection.

I'm battered, but sharper than ever. Like steel being turned into a sword, hit after hit. I hope the blacksmith of life is happy with their work. They've created a weapon that will cut through anything in its wake- and will hopefully be used to defend rather than offend.

May blood never coat my blade again.

You will patch up all the holes in 2025.

(this isn’t a post about knitting)

[mllenugget]

Hey remember when Baghera adopted Dapper like 8 months ago or did I make that up ? ────────────────────────────────────────── Support all the admins that spoke out (& do your daily click) ──────────────────────────────────────────

[urfavisananimegirl]

walter white from breaking bad

Walter Hartwell White (Breaking Bad) is an Anime Girl!

[lucygraysboy]

“you’re a natural, lucy gray,” billy praises with a smile, eventually letting go of her hip and resting his hand on top of hers once more. she truly is a natural. besides, she’s already bonded with the horse which is an additional advantage, and sundance doesn’t seem to be particularly stubborn. these two are meant to be. “he really is. there’s just somethin’ about white horses. they always look so majestic and have the most angelic personalities.” which can’t be said about black horses. for some reason, most of those are demons. “i think he’s happy you’ve finally decided to trust him and let him carry you instead of walkin’ beside him. do you want to go a little faster?” he wonders, hoping to sound encouraging but not pressuring. if she needs more time to get used to the motions, he’ll understand. many things can be said about billy, but he’s a patient teacher — they’ll reach new milestones at a pace that best suits lucy gray’s needs. “oh, really?” he’s almost forgot about her mama and just how special this horse is to lucy gray. sundance is a friend, of course, but he’s also one of the last living, beloved keepsakes. his chest constricts, thinking about how the last time this horse heard commands in spanish must have been back when mrs. baird was still here. “if you don’t mind me askin’, when your mama disappeared, did she take another horse with her? or did sundance just manage to find his way back home without her?” he doesn’t mean to ruin the atmosphere and quickly adds, “but, well, that explains why he’s so calm and sweet to you. he must see your mama in you. and he listens to me ‘cause the commands sound familiar. i can teach you a few. vamos is basically let’s go. camina means walk. alto or para is how you make ‘im stop, but if you only want ‘im to slow down a bit, you say despacio. izquierda is left. derecha — right. calma is what you say when he’s bein’ a little too rowdy.” he’ll write it down for her later, but he’s certain sundance is smart enough to understand commands in both languages so she’ll be okay even if forgets a word. “it really does. that’s how life works,” he agrees, gently squeezing lucy gray’s hand as they ride through the woods. 

“hm, alright, now i got it.” saying after sitting quiet and listening to him, listening and watching all these commands and instructions she’s absorbing. “that does make sense, a lot of sense.” and it’s a lot easier than she expected, quickly finding out just sitting on the horse is harder than knowing how to control him. since he’s right, she needs to sit and feel less tensed, his hand on her hip guiding her to relax more even if it causes her heart to flip flop. that definitely doesn’t help in getting lucy gray to ease into it. “he sure is adorable.” and not because he’s not throwing her off she amusingly thinks to herself, but because he’s so willing to go with the flow and those ears of course. along with his pretty mane of hair. “speakin’ spanish to him helps, cause i bet he likes that since he was my mama’s horse who spoke spanish to him all the time.” a warm smile adorns her face, despite the bumpy conditions, trying to be watchful of wear her feet hits. “right? like everything else, it takes warmin’ up to do.” closing her eyes, enjoying the warm sun on her face after a harsh winter she welcomes it and it comes natural to work as a team like he says. that bein’ perfect advice.

[alumirp]

luffy gets a girlfriend

He is blissfully unaware of this fact, however. He meets Torao at work, he's a firefighter and she's a doctor. She stitched up a cut on his arm and he gets hungry, spontaneously invites her to eat and she accepts, probably hungry too (or totally thinking that the cute guy with the stupid smile is asking her out).

They go out several times after that, usually with Luffy showing up at the hospital randomly, either injured or bringing in a patient, or simply to bother Torao because he was bored.

Luffy gets a new (girl) friend.

They're weird friends, though, because one day Torao just leaned in and kissed him. On the lips! And he liked it for some reason, so they kissed countless more times.

And sometimes things get too hot when they kiss and one thing leads to another and- well, they had sex. Several times. Which is weird, because Luffy definitely has no desire to kiss, much less have sex, with his other friends. But it works, so he just classifies them as weird friends.

He's pretty sure they're NOT lovers, because neither he nor Torao made fancy proposals, with roses, candles, fancy dinner and fancy rings, like Sanji and most TV shows tell, so, definitely weird friends.

And its okay, he likes being weird friends with Torao :D

(They're totally dating and no one believes Luffy when he says they're just friends. Because he shares his meat with Law, he actually, like, listens to her opinion instead of just doing what he wants, he takes her side in arguments no matter how obviously wrong she is, he fights with Ace, physically, when his brother says Law should get out of Luffy's life.They are totally dating, Luffy has a girlfriend, it doesn't matter that he doesn't know it.)

((law is just happy to be here, even if her boyfriend is a little slow))

[ratatatastic]

"Funny enough I—like, if street hockey, ministicks, I always wanted to be a goalie too! Like, for some reason I always wanted to go in net. You know, probably because of [my Dad] and then, um, you know, once you get dinged a couple times and the shots get too hard you realise—then it's not so much fun after all so... Yeah, it was great he'd always—" "You probably wanted to be goalie 'cuz you're fucking crazy, man! Those guys are bananas! I actually went as a goalie in morning skate one time when I was suspended in the coast, and it was the scariest thing ever, bro. It's nothing like blocking a shot because you're literally just standing there, and these guys are shooting right at you. It's unbelievable!" "Yeah! You gotta get in the way of the stuff to save it! That's crazy! I know, and like obviously gear is like great and they don't really feel—but there is, like, that psychological thing going on where, like, you know, you wanna move out of the way 'cuz it's gonna hurt! I get—I mean, it must not hurt that much, like, 'cuz Bob's crazy, man! Bob loves taking—Well, I wouldn't say loves taking it off the head, but he doesn't hate it, like he—" "Feels good?" "You know, every once in a while—they hit him in the head and you go up and say sorry he's like, 'No, no! It's all good! I love it, I love it!!' and like, kind-of shoos you away so."

The Buzz Pod | 8.7.24 (x)

so speaking of banking pucks off bobbys head and how much he loves it flashback to that day in october of 23 where bobby was doing that for practise and managed to rope in matthew to the shenanigans to the utter confusion of everyone involved (x)(x)(x)(x)

[always-a-joyful-note]

"Your kindness is not the problem. The problem is people who take advantage of that kindness." And isn't that the premise of this show? The way Qiao Ling's kindness wanted to bring back that stranger her life's work and the way it brought a guy who was going to involve them in his scam. The way Lu Guang couldn't resist his own kindness and helped his friends and befriended them despite the tragedy it would bring. The way Cheng Xiaoshi was kind to Vivian and wanted to help her despite the way he'd been taken advantage of. Something something goodness is worth it even if tragedies befall in the middle of it.

[divine-misfortune]

Alright Miasma encouraged me to post the message from dms soooo...Wall of text below the cut, nothing outright nsfw just being weird : )

I am such a fucking freak for making Phantom naive and having someone take advantage of it i cannot help it

Bonus points if they're out at a bar, cause he just sees drunk people around them and that's what alcohol does to you, right? So he starts acting like the people around him. There's a woman at the far end of the room getting ditzy and handsy. Cuddly and giggly, leaning on swiss' shoulder, playing with his hand in his lap, practically purring through his glamor which swiss really should scold him for but it's so damn cute.

The second bottle is gone and Swiss hums that maybe he should swap over to soda for the rest of the night. Little thing like him surely can't hold his "alcohol" - and Phantom whines because "Well dew can drink as much as he likes!! He's lil!!" And yeah, he is, but Dew's got a tolerance for these things (smthn smthn fire ghouls burn alcohol faster like when you cook food w wine in it idk it doesn't matter much).

Huffs and puffs cause he's not a light weight and he's fine, barely feels anything, he likes it, cmon just one more? Swiss chuckles and shakes his head, gives him a little kiss on the temple and mumbles that "I'll learn to say no to you one of these days yknow." Gets a little happy chirp and a smug little "mhm 'course."

Cirrus gives him a look when he saddles up to the bar between her and Cumulus, asks if hes taking care of the little bug. It's his first time out after all. Swiss smiles innocently because of course he is, he'll always take good care of him, never let aaaanything happen to him. Just helping him have fun, feel good. Both ghoulettes know that tone in his voice but he's walking off with bottles in hands before either can call him on it - and besides, their tables aaaall the way over there, and Cirrus gets distracted by Cumulus eating the cherry out of her drink (and then tying the stem in a knot with her tongue).

Swiss tells him to pace himself and Phantom huffs he knows how to drink and yeah. Sure you do.

The level of the bottle goes down and Swiss' hand just keeps moving. From fingers being laced with his to squeezing his knee, drifting, petting his thigh slowly. Not super high up but enough he knows Phantom is watching and holding his breath for it.

Phantom mumbles something about feeling funny while staring at his hand, holding the bottle tight in both of his own, mouth of the bottle resting against his lower lip. He looks fixated. A little entranced by the motion. Swiss feels the ache of desire in his teeth, the same desire the wolf is driven by to chase the little stumbling baby deer.

"Think I wanna go back."

"Aw, already? We haven't been here that long baby."

"'M tired…"

"Poor baby, couldn't handle your drinks. Told you so."

"Noooo! Just tired, barely feel anything." Cute when he argues.

"Well its dangerous to go walking off on your own if youre drunk, but…If you're just tired, then you don't need me to walk you back then, do ya bug?"

He almost looks a little disappointed but tells him that no, he can make it home just fine."im not helpless or anything."

"Of course you're not."

And yeah it's only a few blocks!! It's not a long walk at all, but Swiss and that silver tongue have convinced him hes tipsy. And yeah, his body /is/ tired after all the travel.

But its a city he doesn't know. It's late and dark and the streets are so empty. Swiss doesn't know how he doesn't see the shadows and how they start to lurk, or note that the streetlights flicker as he passes. He forgot how much he loved to stalk. Especially when it's someone who doesn't know his dirty tricks.

Swiss giving Aeon a nonalcoholic beer one night without telling him, and being absolutely delighted when the little lightweight starts acting silly after half a bottle. Encouraging him to finish the bottle and cracking the lid on another as Aeon gets more and more "drunk", absolutely delighted at how easily influenced the new kid is.

Hope he doesn't take advantage when Aeon starts getting clingy and rubbing up against him.

That would be just terrible...

[definitelynotshouting]

heyo! i learned a new word today and thought i'd share cause it sounds like a word you'd like

the word is apricity and its an old English word meaning "the warmth of the sun in winter" :]

-🍁

leaf anon ur spot on the money i have instantly fallen in love with this word right now immediately. If anyone sees this show up in one of the next hunger au chapters you know EXACTLY who to blame /DEEPLY SILLY

[moeblob]

I am really tired of a situation rn.

[theoldmanhomer]

yap about yi and goumang in the tags. tiandao council enthusiasts this 1 is 4 you

[lesbiancarat]

want to give my two cents on the AI usage in the maestro trailer--

i think seventeen doing a whole concept that is anti-AI is very cool, especially as creatives themselves i think it's good that they're speaking up against it and i hope it gets more ppl talking about the issue. i also understand on a surface level the artistic choice (whether it was made by the members, the mv director, or whoever else), to directly use AI in contrast to real, human-made visuals and music in order to criticize it. i also appreciate that they clearly stated the intention of the use of AI at the beginning of the video

however, although i understand it to an extent, i do not agree with the choice to use AI to critique AI. one of the main ethical concerns with generative AI is that it is trained on other artists' work without their knowledge, consent, or compensation. and even when AI generated images are being used to critique AI, it still does not negate this particular ethical concern

the use of AI to critique also does not negate the fact that this is work that could have been done by an actual artist. i have seen some people argue that it's okay in this context because it's a critique specifically about AI, and it is content that never would have been done by a real artist anyway because it doesn't make sense for the story they're trying to tell. but i disagree. i think you can still tell the exact same story without using AI

and in fact, i would argue that it would make the anti-AI message stronger if they HAD paid an artist to draw/animate the scenes that are supposed to represent AI generated images. wouldn't it just be proof that humans can create images that are just as bad and nonsensical and soulless as AI, but that AI can't replicate the creativity and beauty and basic fucking anatomy that's in human-made art?

it feels very obvious this was not just a way to cut corners and costs like a lot of scummy people are using AI for. ultimately it was a very intentional creative decision, i just personally think it was a very poor one. and even if some ethical considerations were taken into account before this decision, i certainly don't think all of them were. at the very least i feel like the decision undermines the message they want to convey

i would also like to recognize that i myself am not an artist, and i have seen some artists that are totally on board with the use of AI in this specific context, so clearly this is not a topic that is cut and dry. but generative AI is still new, and i think it's important to keep having these conversations

[abirddogmoment]

happy Sunday from the swamp 💚

[minophus]

sorry if this is weird but what do you think sisyphus would smell like. i was thinking pre Hellificafion he wore those arabic perfume oils

Hmm. I think he has a twinge of (literal.) heat, like the kind where you're stepping outside or sitting infront of a vent and heat is just blowing into your face. There's also the stink that would come with ~However many years~ of sweating upon sweating all over that it sort of just becomes a part of his natural scent...For some reason I can't picture it as being super strong, its a balanced kind of thing... Think it'd be nice

You can smell a lil bit of blood too...from menstruation or a wound? you decide. Smells like rock/stone, earthy but not in the Dirt kind of way.

This ones a lil hard to specifically describe but he smells like Hard Work. Given that he's been pushing a boulder and thinking up a plan for the insurrection in his mind for 1million years

To sum it up i think hed smeel good oihhhh hyeah

[koko2unite]

[ratatatastic]

lmaoooo maffhew wanting the knot immediately and having to wait for sasha to catch up with that is so deeply funny like. this omega is not subtle and you’re not a stupid alpha babe! can only imagine what benny has to say to maffhew about it once he catches on and stops banging his head against a wall

idiots to lovers is always great but especially when its two people who would be hitched with 10 kids by now if they stopped being dumb for a single second like its that easy and yet...

to me they very much fall around the same time (infatuation at first scent if you will) just that sasha takes some time to get there not because he's dumb (okay he's a little dumb) but in the sense that its like "this person is very interested in me, i can see and recognise that but theres so much cognitive dissonance in my brain right now between knowing that intrinsically and finding that hard to believe so i unintentionally play dumb because obviously i'm reading too much into things it cant be me they're interested in haha that'd crazy but they're being awfully touchy and flirty with me wow"

but also it takes two to tango and we have to acknowledge that and this is when i would love to bring up the ways in which this man decides is the best way to go about that because he is a catholic school girlie... there's so much hilarity to be had here especially because his flirting is very uh how you say... a little ass backwards if you will especially considering dynamics

"I make it a point to keep the door closed when we're alone in a room together! That's basically a clear invitation that I'm down to fuck!!! Im basically asking to be ragdolled on his knot!!!"

and Benny just pinches the bridge of his nose like "I don't know how to explain to you in a way you'll understand that not everyone went to Catholic school."

But saying that Sasha does side-eye the door knob heavily when Maffhew goes over to close it the first time and he starts sweating like he just got dragged into a game of 7 Minutes in Heaven he did not sign up for and he's 13 again and oh god he got paired with a really cute girl, and he hasn't even had his first real kiss yet and-

And then absolutely nothing happens because Maffhew is just waiting with a polite expectant smile (because his work here is done, he did the heavy lifting know it's Sasha's turn) and this is when Sasha's dynamic classes training kicks in and he basically scolds himself for even assuming in the first place because this is clearly a show of trust (correct) not an invitation for extra circular activities (incorrect buzzer noise) and it basically becomes "This Omega really trusts me, I'm honoured especially as Pack Leader that I'm able to be so accepted into such a private space with the inherent knowledge that I will not encroach their boundaries whatsoever because consent is verbal, this is not in any way an invitation to take advantage of them this is deep platonic trust I will guard with my life :]"

and if you listen closely you can hear the lovely sounds of Maffhew bashing his head into a wall about how much of a gentleman Sasha is but also COME ONNNNNN... you know... once Maffhew realises what's happening which (looks at my watch) is not due for another few months really

Battle of wills: unstoppable force (maffhews catholic school understanding of dynamic interactions) vs immovable object (overseas alpha cotillion classes)

And if you think it's an Oh! An overseas dynamic thing! It's not. The Euros are watching the horrible car crash in front of them and doing absolutely nothing about it because it's none of their business, but they will stare at it... maybe judge it a bit but definitely are observing from the tall grass.

and I'm also not saying that luosty lundy forsy and bobby have a current running bet of how long it'll take for maffhew to break sasha in but i'm also not not saying that... luosty goaded lundy in the midst of a gossip session ("It has to be 3 months, right?) forsy happened to be around so lundy turned to him for advice ("7 months.") and maybeeee bobby overheard from all the way over from his stall and puts in his two cents for what it's worth ("6. Captain nice but not that nice. Very impatient." "So 3!" "No. Impatience makes him double the time, and wait longer. 6 months.") (lundy finally settles on a good 5 months because he's indecisive)

And Sasha does eventually pick up everything maffhew is throwing down... eventually... and when he does it becomes more so I want to court this omega the way they deserve I will take this slow and romance them sweetly :) *smash cut to maffhew caterwauling like a cat in heat*

but also once again its not like maffhew is helping sasha in any way this is idiot4idiot and benny would like to enjoy the car crash with the euros but unfortunately that's his soulmate, thats his bestie, his littermate from birth who has been weaned on the same teat as they climbed over each other to get to it, the first girl you kissed in your childhood bedroom because somehow you started play fighting on the bed because she was like i could totally pin you down easy and then she does and you always noticed how beautiful she was but shes even more gorgeous when she's pinning your wrists to your hannnah montana duvet you promised yourself youd changed out before she came over but you forget and well she teased you about it and you cant help but giggle about how perfect this all is and it seems that the natural conclusion to this is to taste the strawberry lipgloss of her lips because whats a kiss between besties huh its tacky and sticky and it tastes like summer and just other apt metaphors to put here about the inherent -isms of their relationship that i nearly cant put to words properly other than girls having fun (they are fucking)

and well anyways benny is watching and he has a lot of things to say about how its been proceeding so far

"You should really use your words."

"I am!"

"Right because smelling like a fucking perfume shop in the middle of October is using your words."

"This usually works with most Alphas okay!"

"Sasha isn't most Alphas."

"Tell me about it." Matthew grouses before he peeks over to Sam, looking up from beneath his eyelashes—the exact way he knows both endears him to Sam but also absolutely miffs him all the same, "Worked on you, didn't it?"

"Oh, is that what we're doing right now? We're calling getting a lapful of a preening O in preheat in the middle of a roadie a normal way to go about these things."

"It worked didn't it?" Matthew reiterates.

"It would work better if you use—"

"Okay! Alright!! I get it!!!" He does not.

like benny here is unfortunately an active listening participant in the going ons of the fuckery if not because hes involved by proxy because of maffhew because who else will hold his hair back as he calls him a dumb bitch you know