#i am never doing shit like this again hope you had fun nonnie :*

[monstertidbits]

FINE. what would the dungeon meshi protagonists be like to on a chaste first date with. coward

the one night stand one was funnier but let's do this mf.

laios - i hope you told him that it is, in fact, a date or else he's just happy to hang out not assuming shit okay. he actually takes you into the dungeon because there's a really unique spot on the second floor that was discovered recently and he wanted to show you around. he's really sweet and excited to have you there and explains all sorts of stuff during your little adventure. you eagerly listen wanting to learn more, of course, though you start worrying it's more about indulging himself than actually getting to know you. but then you reach the "spot" he was talking about and you are entranced: it's the hollow of one of the bigger trees, but the space inside of it is unnaturally wide and vast, filled with dryad buds and fruits (if you freak out bc of this you dont deserve him. its beautiful). while you are still too stunned to speak, laios already starts unpacking his bag to reveal a little picnic he organized. he invites you to sit next to him while cutting a loaf of bread for you to eat. it's a comfortable first date, you two filling the hollow with excitable chatter for much longer than you were expecting. he really is easy to talk to, and it's pretty attractive how he seems to be confident and in his element within the dungeon, while others are so tense and out of place. on the way back you find your hand in his, not really thinking about it. laios, on the other hand (hahaha🤪), was cool up to this point but he kinda freaks out internally because he ain't sure if it's a sign things are going well. at least you know this is the beginning of something special.

marcille - she would be sooo funny. like she would be extremely nervous and trying too hard to leave a good impression so she becomes hyperaware of everything she does and says. you try your best to lighten the mood and talk about yourself a little more, so she would feel less tense. you suggest going around the main street because you're new in town, and that makes marcille come back to her senses- she knows all the popular spots and even the more niche and cool places there. just being useful puts her at ease, and it's fun following her around. the converstion greatly improves and she suggests a nice restaurant to eat dinner at. at this point you really don't care- there's something about her being self assured and leading the way that's so captivating. the rest of the night goes on smoothly, besides the fact marcille spilt your drink on you, which she kept profusely apologizing for til you parted ways. next time will surely be better, as you get to know each other more.

senshi - this is the only man you can trust when he invites you to cook dinner at his place on the first date. you arrive, not really knowing what to expect, and you are pleasantly surprised to see ingredients already laid out for you to start working. senshi takes the lead, explaining every step while making conversation. he is soft with his words and very calm, and at some point you find yourself thinking "how the hell did we reach this topic and why does it feel safe to openly talk about it" and you wish it would never stop. by the end of the date, your stomach full, you are pretty damn sure he's the man of your dreams or something. it doesn't get any better than him

chilchuck - he's married bitch.

[rottingparts]

I saw the mirage imagine and It was so good like it got me barking. But anyways, can I have a smut request of mirage. Like, overstimulating or teasing mirage until he can't stop jerking his hips Or or or if your comfy you can you add like teasing on the neck too??! For example, umm, like reader putting there mouth on their wires and making them cry for more??!

If you're comfortable doing this. do it , please do it

OMG NOW YOU GOT ME BARKING!!! This is more teasing than anything, and it was supposed to be like a few paragraphs and ended up longer than that, and honestly I could have made it longer... Hope you enjoy, sweet nonnie! -Rot

Summary: You have a great idea, and Mirage is intrigued, even if you won't tell him what it is.

WARNINGS: 18+! MINORS DNI! Teasing, grinding, human!reader, Dom!Reader (kinda), Mirage is a switch, no specifications of reader's gender in any way

Word Count: 800

“I wanna try something.”

Your words were innocent and sweet, but it was definitely not a question. Mirage seemed to get a hint that whatever was on your mind was not innocent and was on board almost immediately. He did not ask what you had in mind, he only asked what you needed.

“Sit down.” You smiled at him.

“On the ground?”

“No, on the wall,” You snorted at your own answer. “Yes, on the ground, silly.”

“No need for sarcasm,” Mirage pouted. “But, since I love you so much, I will do what you say.”

‘Yeah,’ you smiled at Mirage, him having no clue what you were thinking, ‘I’m sure it’s ‘cause you love me and not because you’re horny.’ Once Mirage sat down, you walked over to him. You looked over at him and cocked your head.

“You got me kicking my feet and shit,” Mirage smiled at you, his feet moving back and forth as he sat down and looked at you. “What’s on your mind?”

“When is Noah coming back?” Your eyes met Mirage’s optics and he thought for a moment.

“One hour.”

You nodded, still not answering Mirage’s question. Mirage did not ask again though, he trusted whatever you were doing would be fun. You walked closer to Mirage and you could tell he was growing more excited. His feet moved a little faster, and once you took position, they froze.

You straddled the Autobot as best you could. Your eyes looked up at his wide, bright blue optics and you gave him a sweet smile. “I want you to keep your hands to yourself.”

Mirage seemed stunned, “You always want me to touch you-”

“This is about you right now, baby. Keep your hands at your sides, or at least to yourself, until I give the okay,” You waited for him to nod, “okay?”

Mirage nodded and you gave a quick nod of acknowledgement back. You rested your hands on Mirage’s shoulders and pushed yourself up ever so slightly. Mirage watched with anticipation as you positioned yourself over him. His optics never left you, and you did not want them to.

Without saying a word, you started to slowly grind against him. Your eyes moved from his chest plate and up to his optics, and he looked like his spark was going to stop. His fingers twitched against the ground. He wanted to do nothing more than touch you, but Mirage listened well enough when it came to you and pleasure.

“You’re practically giving me a lap dance,” Mirage groaned, “And I can’t touch you?”

“Trust the process,” You kept your eyes on him. “And, feel free to uh, help yourself relieve any pressure if you need to.” Your movements did not falter. And neither did, Mirage’s. He was quick to get his spike out. “But-” Your movements stopped, “Don’t touch yourself, either.”

Mirage looked like he was going to explode. “How am I supposed to-”

One of your hands left his shoulder and you leaned back, slightly. Your hand ran up his spike, so gently you were sure Mirage really would explode. Mirage whimpered and you grew hot. His whines filled the air as you would grind against him and touch him. You were being so gentle, too gentle.

Mirage’s hips jerked upwards and hit you as you were coming down. You smiled to yourself, happy with the hold you had on Mirage. Your hand brushed over his neck, not on purpose, but that was going to change. As soon as you touched the wires Mirage jerked again. An idea struck you and you smirked to yourself. Mirage could tell something other than him was coming.

You leaned up, your hand moving from his spike and back to his shoulder. You were still grinding, mostly to help yourself at this point, because you knew what you were about to do was going to be all Mirage needed. Your lips hit the wires. You could feel Mirage twitch, his entire body jerked. His hips bucked up again and you smiled against him.

Your lips grazed the wires, a soft kiss being placed against them before you pulled back. Mirage whimpered again, close to begging. You just knew it. Your breath hit the wires and Mirage was becoming uncontrollably horny. Worse than before. Your lips pressed to them again and a loud cry escaped from Mirage. You smiled against him and nuzzled his neck, his hips bucking into you several times before you spoke.

“Okay.” You stayed still, lips still on the wires.

“‘Okay’ what?” Mirage was frantic, voice almost cracking.

“Touch me.” As soon as the words left your mouth, Mirage had the roles flipped. You were on the ground and Mirage was over you. You could feel Spike against your thigh. He stared down at you, ex-venting heavily. “C’mon,” Your voice was soft, “We gotta do this before Noah shows back up.”

Mirage was ready to fucking go, “I don’t even care if he finds us at this point. I hope we’re still going at it when he gets back!”

You had wound Mirage up and you couldn’t be more excited with the results. You were going to need to do that more often.

[allofmytoxicity]

heyy, can I please request ‘I love you’ prompt no.23 with Neal Caffrey from White collar?

Someone to Lose

a/n: Hi nonnie! This one has literally been sitting in my drafts for SO long, so sorry it took this long for writing this. I pretty much dropped off the face of the earth on this, but I'm back now until prelims, where I will literally drop off the face of the earth again (at least until christmas/new year).

'I Love You' Prompt: [23] = in an argument

Summary: When you find out Neal could possibly be forging art again, your walls are raised, not wanting to lose him again.

Word Count: 1.5k

TW: ANGST

You never thought you'd get here, sitting here in your boyfriend's apartment in your pyjamas with a mug of tea in front of you, waiting for him to get home, watching the clock like a mother waiting for her child after their curfew.

Which was almost the same situation, but at least your boyfriend at least had a tracking anklet.

Glancing at the clock you'd made Neal stick up by the fireplace (much to his protest) once again, seeing it just go one am, you take a sip of your tea while adjusting the piece of paper in front of you. It was a receipt for some replica art piece that you knew that was in one of the local art galleries in New York.

You didn't know if this was 'Peter approved' as you liked to call Neal's FBI art dealings or off his own back, but all you knew was that you had to talk to Neal about it.

Just as long as he got home before you fell asleep.

Hearing the front door click open quietly, you turn to face it, seeing Neal walk in with an 'oh shit' look on his face at the fact you were up.

"Hi." Neal whispers, looking guilty as he hands his coat and hat up on the coats stand.

"Hi Neal." You say back at a normal volume, bouncing your foot under the table, grasping your mug with a vice-like grip as you try to hide your emotions.

"Sorry I'm back so late, Peter and I were working on a case and Moz wanted to show me something." Neal said, walking over and kissing the top of your head before going over to your bed and grabbing his own pyjamas and starting to unbutton his shirt after taking off his tie.

"If you were working on a case, then what's this?" You ask after a few beats, obviously stopping Neal in his tracks as you hear the fabric stop rustling and his footsteps wander over before stopping just behind you, as Neal looks over your shoulder at the piece of paper sitting in front of you.

"It's a receipt for a piece of art by the looks of things." Neal says, plopping his head on top of yours as he looks down at the receipt.

You turn around in your chair, making Neal raise his head as you respond. "It's a receipt for a piece art that's put down as for you, Neal. What are you up to?"

Neal stands there with a neutral face before it going from one of guilt to betrayal to almost disappointment. But not in you, in himself.

"Neal, please don't tell me your pulling off some sort of heist with Mozzie again." You almost plead him, searching in his eyes for some sort of answer.

When you don't find anything except guilt in Neal's bright blue eyes, you feel tears brim your own eyes and you turn away from Neal, rubbing your nose.

"I'm sorry, y/n." You hear Neal whisper and your lip quivers at the thought of Neal going back to jail. You already lost him once when he was only a close friend, but now as your boyfriend? The man you hoped to spend the rest of your life with? You couldn't even begin to deal with the thought of it.

You swallow before flicking your head up to look at the kitchen, tears really pushing against your waterline. "Neal, that's not good enough. You can't keep doing this."

Neal audibly scoffs at what you say. "A man has to have his fun somehow, doesn't he? I haven't been fully free in years, y/n. I need this."

You get up and move over to the kitchen, holding your mug, and place it next to the sink before turning to face Neal as he looks at you with an unreadable face.

"Neal, you don't. You have less than a year left on that ankle monitor, and you could possibly spoil it all by doing this," you state, looking at Neal in disbelief. "Neal, Peter gave you a second chance at this. He's given you a job and a chance to make up for what you've done. Not everyone gets that."

"So what? I'm not everyone and I know that y/n! I've got away with it before, there's no reason to say that I can't do it again." Neal objected, raising his voice slightly.

"And what? Leave me here while you go off to some Spanish island again!?" You demand, raising your voice as well as your brow furrows, in shock at how ridiculous Neal was being about the whole situation.

"No! Of course not! But there's no reason why I have to keep playing by the rules!" Neal seethes, his voice raising even more than before.

"Really, because I think there is!" You countered, your knuckles turning white as they grasped against the edge of the kitchen counter.

"What then y/n!? What!" Neal yells and that's when you break, tears releasing while you finally snap.

"Because I love you!" You raged at him, hot tears starting to run down your face as you take a few steps forward and Neal's face freezes as he realises what you said, the whole room being draped in silence.

You and Neal had never really said 'I love you' to each other during your relationship. It had really only been after Neal had come back from Cape Verde that you'd said it, but even then you don't think he'd actually heard you, so technically, this was the first time.

You were living together and you'd never actually, properly, said I love you to each other.

"You what?" Neal asked, stunned at what you had yelled.

You take a few more steps forward, more confident in what you were saying now, approaching the dining table that Neal was standing around. "I said that I love you Neal Caffrey. And I can't lose you for a second time because you've decided to go and do something stupid with Mozzie."

Neal nods slowly before taking a tentative step towards you, reaching out and taking your hand in his and brushes his thumb over the back out it.

"Alright. I'll talk to Moz. If he really wants to do it, he can pull it off himself." Neal murmured, pulling you towards him and wrapping you up in his arms.

You let out a few sobs before whispering a quiet 'thank you' before burying your face into Neal's bare chest.

For the next few minutes you both stand there, being lit by the moonlight and the warm glow of the few lamps you'd switched on around the apartment while waiting for Neal. As you stand there, Neal strokes your hair, whispering sweet nothings against your hairline while you cry.

When the sobs turn to quiet sniffles, Neal releases you, but keeping you in his grasp, wiping the tears from your eyes before pressing his lips to your forehead and holding you close for a moment.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't think and I'm sorry that I left you like that." Neal whispers, eyes squeezed shut and he says it as he rests his forehead against yours.

You continue to stand there in the silence for a moment before you break the silence this time by kissing Neal softly and breaking apart from the hold you were in.

"Come on. Let's get to bed." You murmur and start to drag Neal back towards your bed and he takes his shirt off as he does so, quickly getting changed into the plaid pyjama trousers and dark grey t-shirt that he uses for pyjamas.

After that, Neal goes and quickly brushes his teeth, squeezing your hand reassuringly before going and doing so before eventually joining you in bed, switching off the lamps and closing the giant curtains you had gotten to cover the floor to ceiling windows that led you out to the rooftop.

When Neal does finally join you in bed, you hug up to him as you read, curving to fit up the space Neal took and after about five minutes of reading, you place your book down and switch off your bedside lamp.

As you start to drift off into sleep, you breathe out, barely audibly, to Neal, "I'm sorry for yelling."

You close your eyes and Neal kisses your hairline once again. "I'm sorry for yelling too. I love you y/n." He mutters as you snuggle into his chest.

"I love you too, Neal. Goodnight." Was your muffled response as sleep takes hold, so much that you nearly miss Neal's reply.

"Goodnight, honey." Neal muttered, letting sleep grasp onto his own body, succumbing to the droop of his eyelids as a silent serenity surrounded your apartment.

And it really was now that you knew Neal was really there with you and he wasn't going to risk it.

a/n: woo! it's done! Also, even if you don't want to put in a request, talk to me about Austin Grand Prix (like, the whole Norris/Verstappen situation at the corner, oooh I have some opinions), anyway have a nice whatever!

requests are open!

[toxycodone]

i understand its all joaks and its lighthearted out of love for this character but it is a little sad to see things like laios being a minimum wage worker and having no friends being described as him being a loser when theyre extremely common autistic experiences 💔 because to be honest i think youre really cool and a great writer and i would like to interact more but it makes me go, is that what you would think of me? my life situation’s not too different from that. anyways i hope you have a nice day <3

no not at all I genuinely like being mean to Laios so take everything I say about him with the world's biggest effing grain of salt because I am just. mean to him in particular lol. i like to kick him when he's down. (evil and mean but to blonde men in particular)

but like. i am not cool at all. like...........ill put it under the cut but yeah.

real shit under the cut bc this ask is making me think! im gonna be real w u nonnie

tl:dr if u dont wanna see whats under the cut:

this ask kinda makes me think bc. i think im really mean to laios too bc he reminds me of myself beforehand (zero self confidence and suicidal idealization) sigh and I really hate being reminded of that. so. again. im really biased when it comes to him specifically and that doesn't apply to you or any of my followers.

and for what its worth i am sorry for making you feel that way.

but also. i gotta say I can 100% relate to him and you. this time last year I was working at Starbucks ( i could only tolerate 4 hour shifts bc i would get overstimulated and my coworkers lowkey hated me.) and had like. 1 friend from high school and the years before that I spent turbo online being constantly pushed out of friend groups bc i could NEVER get anything right socially. I swear the first 23 years of my life I never lived. i went thru hs and college as a fucking. like. creature I felt like i couldnt connect w anyone because I was too tormented by adhd + autism and i was INSANELY depressed and coping w lack of control by having an eating disorder and being doped the fuck up on stimulants. (MY PCP gave me 56 mg of concerta and 5mg booster of adderall i was fucking tweaking on the daily </3)

but like. i started going to therapy and a psychiatrist who made me quit cold turkey for my own good and we started treating my depression and debilitating anxiety (i was convinced a stranger was living in my house in secret but also that everyone in public who saw me was revolted by me and genuinely wanted me to kill myself jkdhsfskdjh i told you i was tweaking)

anyways. i was a druggie with no goal in life and living in my own head and now like. i can look at myself in the mirror and not think "hey. this fat ugly piece of shit should genuinely die" and now people in real life LIKE me. I have friends. multiple friend groups, actually. WITH NOT JUST ND PEOPLE. LIKE, A LOT OF THEM ARE NEUROTYPICAL. And i am very open about being autistic with them and i dont have to mask.

and they still like me! and invite me places! and genuinely want to hang out with me! and they think im smart and get uncomfortable when I say im stupid or too autistic to like. be able to be in public.

it still feels like a dream and in my mind im like "they actually are gonna drop you and make fun of you for thinking they were ever your friends" or like "theyre just doing this bc of the stupid buddy system shit or they think you're a pet this is highschool all over again"

but even tho im haunted by this. its....I can say with confidence its not true.

anyways. i know people say this shit all the time but I will say you are very capable of love and not a loser or anything like that. the thing you're missing out on is the right people. i didnt believe this for most of my life and tried to get myself killed because of it but im glad I didn't because it is genuinely true.

i have spent the last <1 year of my life genuinely being alive. and i wouldn't trade it for anything. idk if thats a sign for anyone yeah. take it

[just-some-random-blogger]

I never stop day dreaming, and I fundamentally live in my head, my imagination has never melded into my reality. I know what is real and not.

Are you me? Yes yes yes, yes to every word you said. Yes to day dreaming. One should never blur the reality they are living in, I agree. But I think most of us are just exhausted living beings trying to navigate through shitty lives, and we should allow ourselves to seek comfort in that little safe space in our head to heal after mentally exhausting ourselves during the day.

I think, when you love a fictional character, they are with you. Their life only ever exists through those who know of them. Again, it should never be scary though. ):

This almost made me cry. I love every single one of my fictional characters. Living in this shitty world sucks, I need my fictional character stay by my side. Everyone could use some healthy amount of escapism, and I personally don’t like some else tell me what I should do, they don’t know me, maybe they should restrain themselves from casually giving me advice. However I understand what that anon meant, if they feel like it’s become a serious issue for them, they should seek help and cut back their time spending on the site. Moderation is key.

HI NONNIE. HAHAHAHAH the hive mind is real HAHAHAH. you are me, i am you, we are one.

i was excited to see a response to that post cos i thought you were the anon i replied to. alas it appears you are not. but that's fine. that's great! we're now having a dialogue on the interwebs, just as the greeks intended 😌

Very truly i say we really are just exhausted zombies tryna navigate this unfortunately post-apocalyptic reality. I wanted to quote this Argentine writer that I learned about in high school. I think his name was Jorge Luis Borges, but askfg;aksgf I can't say for sure cause I don't remember him nor the essay. I do remember a striking part of the essay though that uses hemoglobin as an analogy... or was it cancer T_T I EVEN PULLED UP MY OLD LIT BOOK FOR THIS BUT I THINK MY LIT TEACHER DISCUSSED THAT AS ADDITIONAL MATERIAL AND AALSFHASFLAHSF. the point is, that essay talks about how fiction is important because it's like the life behind the eyes of a dead city ya know....

ok tbh i dont remember that shit enough to quote it BUT IN A VIDEO IN ANOTHER LIT CLASS I HAD MORE RECENTLY IN COLLEGE, it was talked about how fiction is important because we can navigate a lot of different and complex things within the safety of the pages it is bound upon. i couldn't find the video T_T and i know this isn't explicitly said or how its explained, but its like we can witness a cold blooded murder and perhaps feel for the perpetrator more than the victim, due to the circumstances presented and the perspective we're shown. it's not to say in any way shape or form that murder is OK, but again, that realm was explored in a way that didn't actually harm anyone.

i hope i'm making sense and this isn't just extremely macabre.

I used to not understand the fun of reading when i was a kid, i used to think my classmates that liked reading were faking it (cos i was). reading = studying and school SUCKS/IS BORING/ETC but then i discovered ✨fiction✨ and more importantly ✨fan fiction✨ and now i will die on the hill that is: everyone in the whole entire world loves to read it's just a matter of finding content they like.

anyway the part where you said you don't like being told what to do HAHAHAHH you like me FR FR HAHAH. the inner childish gremlin in me reacted first to that message with 'LOL' 'ITS NOT THAT DEEP' 'DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO' 'WATCH ME DO IT ANYWAY' but i thank God everyday that my childish gremlin mind is not the pilot of my brain cos that would be so embarrassing. imagine being an internet troll 💀💀💀. for such a long time, i wanted to be one of those really sharp tongued, quick witted people on the internet that would give dry responses cos it's cool. i cannot for the life of me find it in me to contribute to that though because in my heart of hearts, i don't believe people are mean and i especially dont think anyone will come out of their way to my inbox just to be mean to me. i am glad to say it's not happened, nor will it ever 😌😌. huzzah, cynicism has not made me a stale cinnamon roll yet.

moderation is definitely important, but if you don't know how to gauge yourself and you are in genuine need of help, that won't do much, i think. yes reading is therapeutic but it is not replacement for the guidance of someone who has spent years studying how to help people in that manner. sometimes all it takes is just guidance of someone out there who cares. <3

needless to say i am surprised someone who wasn't that nonnie read my answer, which further just proves my point that someone cares. <3

....omg nonnie i think you love me 😍😍😍😍😍😍

cheers to going against the grain, lovie

xxx

[supernaturalgirl20]

Hello Friend, I’m back with idea for another Frankie story.

Dating Frankie is a dream isn’t it? But what if he do not want us, his gorgeous chubby girl, introduces to his friends? Little bit angst ✨

Us thinking he is ashamed of us and he thinking that if she met them she would fall for them instead of him because he still do not understand how she can date him, even they are not too deep in their relationship. Santiago is the one who has successful business, Benny is great fighter and Will is the most handsome fit guy and charming as a bonus. But we want to meet people who are important to Frankie because we wanted the relationship to work not to flirt with his friends. Maybe a little for fun but never to hurt our bby Frankie.

In the end they both find out they are idiots in love.

✨✨✨

Am I happy to follow up on Frankie and his girl? Yes 🙌 thank you nonnie 🥰 sorry this took so long hope you enjoy ☺️

Insecurities

Part 2 to Want to get outta here?

Pairings: Frankie Morales x f!reader

Warnings: Smut 18+, explicit, PinV sex, fingering, insecurities, angst, Frankie being a dick, cursing, fluff.

Comments and reblogs really appreciated 🥰

That night at the bar had changed everything. You’d met the love of your life, it that he knows that yet - you have been too afraid to say anything. He had told you about all his past relationships - about how they nearly all cheated on him, leaving him broken-hearted. You wouldn’t do that.

Frankie kept his word after that night and brought you on your first date the following weekend - dinner at his favourite restaurant in town, followed by a night of amazing sex. God that man worshipped you. You’ve never known pleasure like it. It didn’t matter that you had thicker thighs than most girls or you had belly rolls - that man fucking loved it. Frankie made you feel like you were the prettiest girl around. Life was great.

This weekend was gonna be your six-month anniversary and you wanted to organise something to celebrate. A BBQ at Frankie’s place would be perfect, it would also double up as you meeting his friends for the first time - something you had been pushing for, for quite some time.

When you first broached the subject, Frankie had stiffened below you and gave you some shitty excuse about them being super busy; one you didn’t believe. Haven got their numbers from his phone last week, you proceeded to text them - inviting them over this Saturday - and they all got back with a resounding, yes. You just hoped this didn’t backfire.

***

Giving everything a once over, a knock on Frankie’s front door startles you. You take a deep breath trying to quell the nerves that racked through you. Your hand slowly reaches for the handle and when you open the door, you're pulled into a tight hug.

“Well look at you beautiful, where the fuck has Fish been hiding you?”

“Jesus Benny, will you put her down? Hi, I’m Will and this shithead is my baby brother Benny.” Once Benny puts you down you proceed to shake Will’s hand. “It’s nice to finally meet you,” you say as you close the door behind them. “Santi should be here soon, he just finished up work.”

“Perfect. I hope Frankie doesn’t mind that I organised all this, it’s our six-month anniversary and I wanted to meet you guys.” Benny fishes around the fridge for beer and Will makes his way outside to help set up the BBQ. “We’ve been asking a fish to meet you for ages but it’s always ‘yeah soon’ shit like that.”

Your doubts and insecurities begin to seep into your bones again. What if doesn’t want you to meet his friends? What if he’s embarrassed by you? What if he doesn’t think your relationship is as serious as you? Benny hands you a beer and you quickly shake those thoughts from your head.

“Want me to start up the grill?” Will asks as he takes a slug of his beer. “Oh, yeah that would be great actually. Thank you.”

“No problem.” The sound of a car pulling up catches everyone’s attention and Benny's face breaks out into a huge smile. “That would be Santi, I’ll let him in.” Oh! The nerves were back. This was Frankie’s best friend. What if he didn’t like you?

The sound of laughter filters through the hall and you find yourself looking for something to do so you head out back to join Will. He’s nice. Easy to talk to and he proceeds to ask how you like your steak when the sound of Benny’s loud voice breaks the conversation.

“Look who finally decided to show up.” Santi pulls Will into a hug before pulling back and locking eyes with you. “This beautiful creature must be Y/N. Frankie has told me so much about you. It's nice to finally meet you,” he says, pulling you into a hug. “He loves you, you know.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” you say as your cheeks heat. “No, trust me, he does. I’ve never seen him this happy.”

“What the fuck is going on?” Everyone turns to the patio door where Frankie now stands. His face is blank, eyes cold but anger seeps off him in waves. He’s pissed.

“I invited the guys over, I hope you don’t mind, I just wanted to…” you stop when Frankie closes his eyes, pinching the bright of his nose as he lets out a huff of frustration. Santi, feeling the tension walks over to Frankie and claps him in the back, “come on Fish, Will has the food almost cooked. Grab a beer and take a seat.”

Frankie nods and heads inside to grab a beer before coming back outside and taking a seat. His eyes avoid you the entire time and he takes a seat beside Santi, leaving you to sit beside Benny.

“Grubs up.”

***

A worrisome feeling settles in your stomach as everyone sits and eats. The guys are all lovely and they include you in conversation as much as possible but Frankie still hasn’t looked at you. He’s never behaved like this with you and you feel nauseous at the thought that you’ve done something wrong.

Shuffling out of your seat, you offer to grab more beers and quickly make your way inside releasing a breath you didn’t know you were holding. You take the beers out of the fridge and a deep voice startles you. “What the hell is going on? Why did you invite them here?”

“It’s our six-month anniversary and I just thought it would be nice to meet your friends, I….”

“Don’t you think if I wanted you to meet them, I would have done it already? How did you even get their numbers?” His words cut you like a knife and the way he’s looking at you - like you’ve broken his trust somehow, he might as well grab the knife and twist it in your gut.

“I got them from your phone last weekend when you were making dinner. Frankie, I didn’t think it…” He laughs then, but it’s not his usual warm hearty laugh. It’s almost sinister.

“That’s the problem isn’t it, you didn’t think. What, you thought you could bring my friends over and wear a skimpy dress like that and maybe get their attention? Is that it?”

Your heart is beating wildly in your chest. This isn’t the Frankie you know and love. He would never speak to you like this. “What? No! Frankie, I would never…”

“Save it. If you want to fuck one of them, go ahead. I saw you flirtin’ with Pope when I walked in, maybe he can fuck you just how you like.” He had started moving toward you now and you hadn’t realised he had backed you into the corner of the counter.

You try to calm him, moving your hand out to gently touch his chest but he grabs your wrist stopping you. “You're just like the others. Use me until something better comes along.”

“Frankie, I love you. I don’t want anyone else.” You try to convey all your emotions through the warmth on your face but his eyes are glazed over with anger. He isn’t listening to reason tonight.

“Hey man, that’s enough! Y/N only wanted to meet us and she wasn’t flirting with me. She had eyes for you.” Frankie turns around with a snarl on his face and points his finger at Santi. “You always want what you can’t have, Pope. It was the same with Sophia back in high school.”

You can’t take any more of this as the tears begin to spill down your cheeks. You move out of the kitchen while Frankie is distracted and grab your coat and bag and leave. He won’t even notice I’m gone.

“Fuck Fish that was years ago and technically she was mine first. I wasn’t after Y/N, and even if I was, she loves you, man. Lord knows why if this is how you behave around her, but she’s not like the others. She’s besotted by you and the only one you can’t see is you.”

“Guys!” Frankie and Santi continue to argue until Benny shouts louder. “Guys!”

“What?” They both say in unison. “She’s gone.”

“Fuck! What have I done?”

***

You’d taken your car and driven out to the lake, to the spot where Frankie had taken you one time on a date. You just needed to clear your head.

He’s never been like this before. You knew about his past. About all his exes and about his time in the army. About his cocaine usage. None of it mattered. Not until now at least. Did he not trust you?

Tears run down your cheeks as a sob escapes your throat. The moon is high in the sky tonight and it shines off the water. It’s beautiful.

“You’re beautiful.” You gasp as Frankie’s deep voice startles you. When the fuck did he get here? You turn away from him, eyes fixed on the water. He’d hurt you and you couldn’t look at him right now.

He slowly approaches and sits down on the grass beside you. You can feel his gaze burning a hole into the side of your face but you refuse to look at him. “I’m sorry baby. I…didn't mean anything I said back there…I-I just…fuck. I just came home and I saw you talking to Pope and you were laughing and I just…I saw all my exes and how they all cheated and I saw red.”

“You don’t trust me, Frankie. I don’t think you ever have and this won’t work if we don’t have trust.” Panic sets in and Frankie moves closer, his hand grazing the skin on your thigh. “Baby please…I-I don’t deserve you. That’s the truth. You are too good for me and I’m scared you’re gonna wake up one day and realise that.”

Taking a deep breath you turn your head towards him and you can see the sadness in his eyes as they look about towards the water. “Is that why you never wanted me to meet the guys?”

“I thought that if you met them that you would see what a fuck up I am and leave me. Any of them is a better catch than me.” You're still hurt and you don’t think it’s going to be this easy to get over but you love him so much and he has deep insecurities.

Reaching your hand out you cup his cheek and turn his face towards you. “Frankie, I love you. I don’t know how to make it any clearer, you’re it for me. I want to marry you and buy a bigger house somewhere and have babies. I know those other girls made you like you were good enough and that they broke your heart. But Frankie you’re enough.”

His lips crash onto yours and his hands wrap around your waist pulling you close. “I’m sorry,” he mumbles into your lips. “I’m sorry….I’m sorry,” his lips trail along your cheek and down your neck. “I love you, baby. So fucking much and if you can forgive me for being a dick, I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you.”

“The rest of your life Huh?” He nods his head and pulls you in for another kiss. “What you said hurt Frankie but I do love you so I’m willing to keep trying.”

“That’s more than I deserve. Now baby, let’s go home and I’ll introduce you to the guys properly.”

***

Frankie didn’t let you out of his sight the rest of the night as you laughed at the stories the guys told of Frankie on the base. His cheeks were tinged pink as they embarrassed him but you reached out and grabbed his hand squeezing tight in reassurance.

He tugged on your arm and pulled you into his lap, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. You wiggled your ass in his lap trying to get comfortable and are shocked when he moans loudly into your skin. “Baby, you gotta stop moving that fine ass over my cock or I’ll take you here and now.”

Heat began to form in your stomach as he gripped your hips tight. His fingers slide up under your dress towards your clothed cunt and he moans again at the feel of your wetness. “Fuck baby you’re so wet. This for me?”

You nod your head unable to speak and his fingers push your panties aside and slip inside your aching heat. Biting your lip - trying hard to keep quiet as he works you with his fingers.

“Good girl. Don’t want the guys to know what we’re doing now do we?” Your eyes flicker around the table and you're thankful the guys seem to be deep in conversation that they don’t notice. “Gonna make you come on my fingers then I’m gonna take you inside and fuck you good.”

His fingers work in and out of your cunt curling slightly as his thumb rubs your bundle of nerves. A tingle works its way up your spine and your heart beats faster and faster the closer you come to your release.

Your hand grins the arm of the chair tight and you struggle to keep your eyes open as you feel the beginnings of your climax. You want to scream. Scream his name so fucking loud but you can’t and oh fuck…

Your body shudders in his lap as you come hard. Your vision, blurring as pleasure courses through you. “Good girl.” His fingers slip out of you and he brings them to his lips sucking your juices off them.

Standing, you excuse yourself and make your way into the kitchen to grab a glass of water. His hands wrapped around your waist startle you and you can feel his hard cock against your ass.

“That was so fucking hot baby. Wanna fuck you now though. Will you let me? Will you let me fuck right here where the guys could walk in any moment and catch us?”

“Yes! Fuck Frankie please…” You can feel his grin against the skin of your neck as he bites into it. “Please what baby?”

“Fuck me.” He quickly undoes his belt and pulls his trousers and boxers down bunching at his knees as he rips your panties off. “Hey! Those were my favourite.”

“I’ll buy you a new pair.” He runs the tip of his cock along your slit coating it in your juices before lining up and thrusting inside you. You both moan as he fills you. There’s a slight burn from the stretch but he gives you a minute to adjust.

You move your ass back against him, urging him to move. His hands grip your hips as he thrusts up into you. His cock moving in and out of your tight heat, the sounds of your joint moans and the squelch of your cunt the only sound you hear.

“Fuck mi amor…never gonna get used to how tight you are. So fucking good…” His hand snakes around to your clit and he begins to rub circles as you feel that heat radiating through you. “Oh fuck Frankie…”

“That’s it, baby…come for me…Mierda…need you to come…I’m not gonna last…” His movements on your clit become more frantic and with a cry of his name you come around him. The feeling of your cunt pulsating around him sends him over the edge as he spills inside you. The thought of you becoming round with his child sends him into a frenzy.

His head rests between your shoulders as you both calm your breathing. “That was amazing.”

“Is it safe to come in now? I need to use the toilet.” The sound of Benny’s voice has you both pulling away quickly and dressing. “You can come in now.” Benny walks in with a huge smirk on his face. “Your fly is undone Fish.” He says as he moves towards the bathroom. Frankie looks down quickly realising he was taking the piss.

“Idiota.”

***

If any of the others heard, they didn’t say anything and the rest of the night passed quickly. “Alright man, time we head on out. Y/N it was lovely to finally meet you. Fish you got a good one.”

“I know.” He says as he pulls you into his side, his hand resting on your hip. When everyone is gone and you’ve both tidied up a bit you make your way to bed. Frankie pulls you into his side, his fingers running along your bare back as he stares up at the ceiling.

“What ya thinking about?” You say as you play with the hair on his chest. “Hmm?”

“You look lost in thought.” He turns on his side so he faces you, his hand resting over you. “Move in with me?”

“What?” You dart your eyes between his looking for something but all you see is sincerity. “I want you to move in with me. Hell, I’d ask you to marry me if I thought you’d say yes. I wanna spend my life with you and I love waking up in the mornings to have you cuddled into my side.”

Ok. Yeah I’ll move in with you. Also if you were to ask me to marry you someday, I’d say yes.” He kisses you softly before resting his head against yours. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Everything: @maievdenoir @amneris21 @hnt-escape @elegantduckturtle @harriedandharassed @jediknight122 @ayrusss @hayley-the-comet @sherala007 @alexxavicry @scorpio-marionette @donnaa @practicalghost @tanzthompson @beskarprincessjenny @littlemisspascal @icanbeyourjedi @thatpinkshirt @maryfanson @sunnshineeexoxo @misspearly1 @misspearlssideblog @athalien @its--fandom--darling @sara-alonso @doommommy @trickstersp8 @nembees @kaitieskidmore1 @mswarriorbabe80 @deliriosinrose @allthe-ships @tintinn16 @sirpascal @manuymesut

Frankie Morales: @paulalikestuff @vanemando15 @hb8301 @djarinslove @browneyes-issac @agingerindenial @afootnoteinyourhappiness @almaeunice @readsalot73 @marielovesstuff @a3trogirl @loonymagizoologist

[delicrieux]

—MAKE YOU SAY “OH” EXTRAS: TINDER

extra meaning non-canonical occurrence; can be placed anywhere in the “make you say oh” timeline after couple (cha. 14) and before the final “oh”. 

pairing—corpse husband x f!reader warnings—tinder profiles, tw: men, swearing.  word count—2.6k. format— written. ─── ❥ req by nonnie​:  y/n makes a youtube vid/live stream where she's just swiping through her tinder acc and corpse literally blocks her lmao

author’s note—akldsljfs this was such a funny idea i could not not write it lmao

ultimate masterlist. myso masterlist

You have pulled the biggest brain move by setting up both a facecam and a screen recorder on your phone. All is beautifully displayed and visible during the stream. Your fanbase is particularly intrigued on what exactly are you planning on doing today, seeing as your tweet of “strea” had been a bit vague, if not downright ominous. No emojis. No elaboration. You couldn’t even be bothered to finish the word. Truly, a mystery. Everyone tuned in and are currently waiting with bated breath.

A few of your fans must sense upcoming doom because the overall mood in the chat turns from optimistically intrigued to...evil. It’s an entity all on it’s own now, clawing at you through the screen with various renditions of laughter and devil emojis. A few eggplants thrown in there for good measure, accompanied, naturally, by the scandalous water drops. At first the common consensus is that you’re biting the bullet and going through your camera roll on stream. Definitely an idea worth considering, though you frankly don’t know what lies at the start of the 11k photograph journey, and you are afraid to check in public. Could be a harmless meme, could be a salacious pic you had saved of an OF star. It’s really a gamble. Either way, you would definitely get banned. You might still get banned. Why do you insist on doing shit like this?

Because it’s funny. Because you’re kinda stupid. Because it’s just so absolutely laughably easy to do.

A smile quirks your lips, and while it is not explicitly smug, the look in your eyes sure is, “Greetings,” You utter lowly, dimming the lights--the budget for this stream! Ugh, you went all out, “my children.”

mother i crave violence

sensing evil energy rn!!

i do not claim the energy in this video for myself or anyone else watching this 💖💖

^with peace and love shut the fuck up

“I know y’all lowkey hoes-” Upon your words the chat splits into two: one side eagerly agrees (even shares a few OF accounts! How helpful, supporting small businesses!), whilst the other feverishly insists on innocence. You make a face stuck somewhere between offended and bewildered, “Now c'mon now-I know you. I know you all. We’re the same, don’t-what was that?”

You try to scroll back to the comment but it’s loss in the sea of incoming messages, “I swear to God I just saw-”

Corpse_Husband: i love late night streams it’s not like i have anything better to do.

“COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORPSE!!!!” 

rip headphone users

i cant feel my face when im with you by the weeknd but instead of face its my fucking ears

yall think full vol on pc is better?my parents woke up 😭😭😭😭

To think he’s spending his last waking moments for today with watching you (he probably still would have anyway, because you do not posses an ounce of shame or self-control and pester him relentlessly)! It makes your heart sing, and suddenly, a traitorous, fun hating idea barges it’s way through the crowd of incoherent buzzing and states: don’t do this. For some reason it also has the voice of Rae. As if that would work in guilt-tripping you- Rae never succeed, and her fictitious rendition in mind won’t fare much better either.

Still, you thought about it. That must count for something. Corpse will understand, won’t he? Why don’t you want to upset it in the first place? Men look so funny when they lose their shit, like hello, don’t you have anything better to do? But the image of Corpse just sitting there, hurt, distraught, leaving you on seen because he’s in his sad boy hours leaves a sour taste in your mouth. 

queen rly went from  🥺😊 to 😕 u ok bbgirl?

Corpse_Husband: no pouts cutie

akjdjoeijdfse cUTIE??? deadass boutta r.i.p.

Well that succeeded in eliminating everything from mind, doubts included. If this was an anime, the scenery would shift into something roseate, with flowers and bubbles and sparkles all around you along with a halo or two. Alas, not an anime, rather reality. The led-lights, however, seemingly possessing a will of their own, slowly turn from deep violet to pink. You smile brightly, like the absolute dumbass you are, and you are met with a ray of heart and blushing emojis. You are just so cute, a real cutie! Still in your disguise adorable state, you swipe your finger on your phone screen, the grin never leaving your lips.

There, among the plethora of apps, nestled sits a red square with a white fire plastered on it. The delicate calligraphy on the bottom reads: TINDER.

The mood changes once again- you’re giving the roaches emotional instability by how quickly everything flips over- and the chat spams eggplants vigorously; some, of course, bravely fight against the thirst.

nooooooo i thought y/n is gonna stream in a god honoring way!!!

^pack it up girl defined

“So, Charlie and I-” You note a few awfully curious comments and squint, “-yes, we talk a lot. Charlie is a really good friend of mine. We’re best friends. Brothers. Sisters. Cousins. The whole fucking family tree-no, that sounds weird. Delete. Anyway, Charlie, being the absolute fucker he is, said, hey, you know what would be funny? And I was like, nooo, what would be funny, Charlie? And he says to me, he says, says, making fun of men on Tinder. And if y’all need any more proof that Charlie and I are platonic soulmates, then dunno, my children, my roaches, I dunno-I dunno what more to give you.”

You can’t be bothered reading the comments, there’s too damn many. You also need to save your reading comprehension for the actual bios. It has a time limit, that darn thing. 

“Okay, so I made a profile earlier, but I hadn’t swiped on anyone yet-” Despite the fact, Tinder helpfully informs you that already 99+ people have swiped right on you, “So, this is me,” You show the pictures you have of yourself, and damn, not to be a conceited narcissist, but you look really good. Like if you saw yourself on Tinder, you’d super like instantly. “Uhm, so, my bio-my bio says: let’s sauce in the tub together, ya dig? splishy splashy, giggle giggle.” 

i cant believe we are witnessing y/n trying to form a coherent sentence live 

shes trying give her time

ya dig??? y not capeesh

what scene from the godfather is this lol?

“My anthem, is,” You laugh, covering your lips with your hand, “Corpsie, this is form you-” Proudly, you show that indeed, Corpse’s E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE is listed as your anthem on Spotify, “Hehe.” Yes, you say that aloud.

Corpse_Husband: you’re killing me Corpse_Husband: thanks baby Corpse_Husband: now delete tinder ❤︎

You ignore his last quip, deciding it’s finally time to get this show on the road, “Right, let’s do this shit. I’m not actually going to swipe on any guys that look, uh, decent? Yuck, can’t believe I just said that, uhm, because I-because I feel like some actually deserve a chance with someone? I don’t wanna get anyone’s hopes up, as I am currently in a long distance relationship with Chrollo. So I’m just gonna swipe on, like, frat boy assholes. Because I don’t care if I hurt their feelings. Quite frankly I don’t think they possess them in the first place.”

The chat voices their agreements. With the ground rules set, you, giddy, click on the first profile.

Does Tinder know what you’re doing, your plan? The FBI agent watching you through your phone must be working overtime, bless his heart. They must, because the the first guy to meet you is named Jason, and there he is, blond hair and blue eyes, holding up a fish the size of his torso. Marginally adequate in looks, pretty good muscles. A solid 7 bordering on 8. He’s the same age as you, 15 miles away, and he studies at some college you don’t care enough to look up. Bio reads:

I like to drive fast. Fishing is my passion, but if you can’t catch me by the ocean, you’ll catch me catching waves, bro! Love a good gym date. You do squats, and I’ll keep a close eye to make sure you’re doing it correctly ;) You probably saw me at a party. Leader of the The Phi Kappa Psi. I’m a Gemini, if that matters lol.

You, of course, read it aloud, dramatically; provide some constructive criticism-he seems nice, but he’s a Gemini, so naturally, you can’t trust him at all! Also, that gym date session leaves little to be desired. With your rant done, you swipe right, and shocker! (not), it’s an instant match.

“Okie, I still wanna swipe of some profiles, so I’ll see what he’ll text later-” For a second you wonder the legalities of this stream, but you’re having too much fun to think of it further, “guys, I won't get sued, right?”

NOW she considers it

well....

if you do, we’ll kickstart your lawyer dw <3

Onto the next profile. Kevin, 25, is seen fixing his car- or, you assume he’s mid-fixing it, you don’t really know why else he’d hold a wrench and be covered in oil. He’s shirtless, and the caveman part of your brain echoes something closely resembling AWOOOGA!, but...but!...blonde hair, blue eyes. You pout again, “I don’t...I don’t really like blond boys, ya know? With the blue eyes and all, it’s just not my thing, uhm, unless it’s like-like...Armin from Attack on Titan. Else I don’t care.”

Onto the bio:

You have to treat a car like you treat a woman: go on long rides, take the lead, but most importantly, keep her oiled up 😜 

“What the fuck did I just read?”

The chat is equally confused. You swipe right anyway- another match. Too easy.

The stream continues without incident for a solid thirty minutes- all of your matches, expect a few that genuinely looked like normal dudes that really couldn’t write a decent bio to save their lives, had been blond hair blue eyed gym rats with ranging forms of misogyny. Some opened with asking for nudes out right, some asked about your day first before asking for nudes. You prefer the former. Straight to the point! You admire the gall. 

But then, down the forty-five minute mark a profile popped up that made you still by your phone, your smile dying as your eyes bulged. Dear God. Lord in heaven. Who is this demonspiit lookalike and why is he so fucking hot? The neck tats, the skateboard, the clothes- holy shit, you gotta close your mouth before some drool dribbles out.

No bio, just his name, Tyler, and that he’s 23.

“He boutta be 23 in me.” You mutter, swiping right with lightning speed.

WHAT DID SHE SAYYYYY?????????

tyler is y/ns karma for relentlessly mocking that one guy that had a whole ass list on what his “female” partner should be

^he deserved it and also tyler seems like a typical fuckboi y/n grow a braincell

look at mom 🥺 her eyes are sparkling

It wasn’t a match right away. You somehow expected as much, but it still upset you. Simp behavior, pathetic. The stream continued bravely, and when Tyler messaged you a simple “yo” you totally didn’t sequel. You didn’t manage to text him back on stream: texting all those guys that you didn’t really find all that attractive was easy, but this...You’re a sucker for a man who radiates red flag energy. His whole profile is a red flag. He might just be a red flag himself.

What can you do? Suddenly becoming color blind is not easy. Once the stream ends, you unmatch with everyone expect Tyler. He you chat with for a bit, but a sudden craving for different company makes you abandon him, too. You don’t feel too heartbroken for him- you’re certain there’s already too many girls in his dms. You wish them luck.

Happily, you delete Tinder. You go to Twitter, notice you’re trending again- look at you go! Queen shit- and as you compose a thank you tweet, something strange happens. You go to text Corpse, but when you click on his profile you grow cold.

YOU’RE BLOCKED. You can’t follow or see @/Corpse_Husband ‘s Tweets. 

...Pardon? You hop onto Instragram and-also blocked. Seriously? And you thought you’re one petty bitch. Corpse is seriously prissy about everything. Damn, if he didn’t like your stream, he could’ve just said so. Didn’t need to, like, block you from his internet existence. So not cool.

You try texting him but no text go through. Well how will you let him know you deleted Tinder just like he asked? You relieve your frustrations by punching your pillow a few times. Later, you apologize to her, you didn’t mean to hurt her, it’s not her, it’s you. Fuck, 5 minutes of exile and you’re already loosing your mind.

“Raeeeeeeeeeeee!” You whine loudly. It’s roughly 2am now, but you don’t care. You’re too heartbroken to care. There’s a thump from her room, but nothing else, “Raeeeeeeeee!!!” You wail, wallowing in self-pity on your bed. You hear a very loud, very annoyed sigh from her room, followed by angry marching. Your door is abruptly thrown open, and in the dim, colorful light you see her scowl.

“What?” She grits.

“Can you please tell Corpse to unblock me from everything?”

“What did you do now?”

“I made fun of men on Tinder.”

She pauses, “...That doesn’t sound so bad.” She surmises, voice laced with suspicion, “What else?”

“...There was one really hot guy that I kinda sorta talked to after--”

“Y/n.”

“-But I totally deleted Tinder and honestly he was pretty boring, so, like, uhm, please?”

She sighs, the servery of which implies she is holding the weight of the world on her shoulders, and instantly you know that you won. She taps away at her phone, “You owe me one.” She states, and before you can reply, she exits your room and slams the door behind her.

Grinning, you text his phone again. The message goes through, oh gosh, you’re so relieved you feel like crying. This has been, officially, the worst five minutes of your life.

You Y DID U BLOCK ME LOSER!!! MAJOR LOSER ALERT!! I DELETED EVERYTHING IT WAS A JOKE r u still mad at me? y u always mad at me i never do anything:(

my husband You’re my baby, how do you think I’ll react when I see you publicly simping for some asshole on Tinder?

Oh no, he used the words, he delivered the killing blow. You’re finished. Your heart can’t take such a workout. 

Not that you would ever admit it to him, though!

You hehe ur jellyyyy u always dis jealous hehe?

my husband Not jealous.

Yeah, you might not be the brightest tool in the shed, but even you know that’s a lie. You send him an array of kissy emojis that he doesn’t have the decency to reply to. Then, completely unprompted and dead serious, you send him a simple voice memo, saying: “You really have nothing to worry about, you know? You’re my favorite, Corpsie.”

He responds via text, reiterating that he’s not fucking jealous and that he just doesn’t like when you show such outward interest in anyone but it’s not like he cares or anything. It’s just really, like, weeeeird to see his baby simping for another man like that totally ruins the whole dynamic!!! It was only natural that he should block you on every social media platform, including his personal number (which, like, was completely necessary! Doesn’t matter that his viewers can’t see it, it’s gotta be super believable!), and inform his followers of that, because it’s all a joke, like, for the dynamic, that Youtube grind, you know? Ya dig? No personal feelings were involved at all. He totally wasn’t upset that you found someone else cute, no way!

my husband I’m not jealous. Lol.

You ik u repeated tht like 50 times  u trynna convince me or??? lmao

my husband No comment. ...You don’t actually talk to anyone else like we’re talking, right?

You no one else calls me their baby if thts wat ur wondering at least not to my knowledge lol im all urs

my husband That makes me very happy to hear:)

Yeah, it makes you very happy, too.

hope you liked it!! xx

[deepperplexity]

Golden Light

Title: Golden Light

Request: hi! could you write some sev x reader where they get into a really bad argument and the reader is very hurt and needs to take some time alone and then severus tries to make everything right again? angst with a happy ending please my heart can’t take heartbreak //Nonny

A/N: Gosh, thank you Nonny for this request! This was both difficult and fun to write. I hope you all will enjoy it! <3 I miss my Snape-boi so it was nice to take a small break from Turpin and write this one ^^  

Pairing: Snape x Reader

Setting: Spinner’s End, 1997 

Word Count: 2911

Warnings: Angst, Emotional H/C, Fluff, HEA, Trust Issues

Masterlist page // Masterlist post // AO3

“You never listen!” you shrieked as you glared at him. He had the nerve to look unruffled by your high tone and accusation.

“I do-”

“No! No, you don’t! You don’t listen Severus and that’s the problem!” You wanted to lunge at the brooding man clad in his billowing travel cloak. He was leaving, again, to attend some secret meeting in some distant location with Merlin knew who and you were so sick and tired of it. You wanted to chain him to the house until he talked with you, and listened to what you had to say. For once. 

“Darling, I assure you-”

“Don’t you dare!” you pointed your finger at him, furious. He did this every time. He talked you down, tried to make you see it differently, tried to keep you quiet and happy with whatever he gave you. Not this time. All you wanted was to be close to him, know him, know what was going on in his life as you were in it all the way. Yet that didn’t mean you got a lot of his time or him. Barely any in fact. He was always away. At Hogwarts, meetings, missions - not that you cared what was said or done during the meetings. Or even who was there. That’s not what you wanted to know or hear about. 

“I just want to know you-”

“I can not tell you, love. You know I can not. For your safety.” You wiped at the tears that were falling out of anger and rolled down your cheeks before they dripped from your chin. He looked unfaced. The mask of a double spy already in place as he prepared to leave you once more without hearing you.

“I don’t care about my damn safety when I can’t have you, be with you!” you screamed as your hands fisted by your sides. His shoulders sunk a tad and he looked hurt. I’m fucking hurt!

“You never talk to me! I don’t know anything about you, Severus! You always shut me out even though you want me to tell you about every single little thing! It’s not fair!” Your voice was broken, sobs escaped you and it was hard to breathe as he just looked at you without any inclination of wanting to speak with you. Ease your pain. 

Severus sighed but didn’t move more than grabbing at his arm as his face hardened. The Dark Lord was calling for him and you knew he would walk out that door no matter what you said or did. Your heart hurt, your stomach was in knots with worry over him but also worry over your relationship. Where were you heading if there was no time, communication or trust? 

“Darling, I have to…” His dark voice was a rumble that made you shiver, just as it had done for the past years, since the first time you heard it. He always made you weak with want.

“Just, go. I, need time.” He stiffened at your words as you broke eye contact with him. You didn’t want him to see the pure pain that slashed in you over his indifference. His reluctance to let you in. Was it really too much to ask to know the man you loved, who claimed he loved you beyond everything else? No, it wasn’t. It wasn’t too much to ask but if he could not give himself to you, what were you to do? Leave him? You couldn’t. You’d always be his yet this had to stop. One way or another. 

His cold hand stroked with gentle fingers down your cheek to wipe away the tears that lingered there. You turned your head away as you hugged yourself through a shaky breath.

“Go,” you squeezed out, “I need time to, figure this shit out. I’ll go to my mother’s.” He sighed again, deeply.

“Love, please,” he growled in a low tone and you knew his arm was aching as his hand were fisting and unfisting in your peripheral.

“Don’t come after me.” You turned and left him in the hallway. You stopped right inside of the doorway to the kitchen, you fought with all your strength to not break down and cry. The moment the door closed in the hallway and he was gone again your knees buckled and you crumbled to the floor with a wailing, shattering sound that vibrated from the depths of your chest through the entire house. 

After a few long moments when you had cried and sobbed, hugged yourself and allowed the tears to stream freely you went upstairs and started to pack your bag. You had no idea how long you would be gone but you knew you needed to get away from him and have some space to figure it all out. He needed the space too. He needed to realise that a relationship took trust, even if that was a hard thing for him to give. You knew that, understood that to some degree even if he hadn’t let you in and explained why. But, nonetheless, you were not like everyone else. You truly loved him, deeply and passionately, you wanted his trust and you wanted to give him your full trust continuously. It was just not that simple, apparently. And that hurt, fiercely.  

…Three days later… 

“Sweetheart, he adores you, he loves you. It will be okay.” You smiled at your mother as you were snuggled up on the little wooden bench on the back porch with a blanket wrapped around your shoulders. Your mother had been understanding and caring, but still gave you space to figure things out and think. The time moved so slow and every second was painful as you were separated from Severus. You wanted to yield and just be with him, that little piece he gave you of himself. You loved him and you knew that, truly. But you were tired of getting your heart broken over and over and over. It hurt too much. 

“I just don’t know if I can, if I can deal with what little he gives me.” You glanced at your mother who sat crosslegged on the edge of the bench by your curled up feet.

“Sweetheart, have you turned it around?” You knitted your brows at her words.

“What?”

“Turn it around. Think about what he has given to you, what he has sacrificed to be with you and have you in his life. What he goes through every single day to have your love.” You both were quiet for a little moment as you thought about it. Your mother wasn’t wrong but that was still not enough. You needed more, more of him. 

“I do not claim to know Severus, I don’t really,” your mother continued, “But let me just say, he loves you madly. Just as you love him madly. You have given me very little information, I know it’s for my safety and his, but from what you have told me about secret meetings that are dangerous and even possibly lethal he must carry quite a weight over his shoulders with concern for your safety.” you knitted you brows at him and she continued, “If I were him, if I put the one I love in mortal danger each and every day just by being with them I think I would have left. To make it easier and safer. But his love, it’s so strong and deep that he hasn’t done that. Despite it all, he is with you in theses dark and dangerous times. He’s with you, as much as he can. Do you see what I mean?” Your mother spoke with a gentle smile aimed at you and you couldn’t help the silent tears that flowed again. You simply nodded, because you knew, you understood what she was getting at now. It hurt to think about the pain you caused him by just loving him. 

Your mother left you to your own thoughts as the tears dried up and left you with red and swollen eyes. You wanted to go to him, be with him, be held by him and apologies for the way you had acted. But, you also knew that nothing had changed. It still killed you, shattered you, to not know him and not have him in a way that mattered more to you than his physical presence. He was a mere whisper to you out of the full song you knew was him. You wanted the song, with all the complicated lyrics and high notes mixed with the low ones. You needed more and rightly so. He had more of you, he had more and it pained you that you did not have that of him. 

You shuddered as dusk settled and the evening chill strode in. The blanket wasn’t quite enough to keep you warm yet you couldn’t seem to move from the bench as a numbness had started to fill your heart. Is this is? Is this all I will ever have of him? It’s not enough. It’s not enough, I want more, I need more. I can’t live like this. The thoughts made you sigh as you looked out over the back garden that was being consumed by darkness as night came. 

A small swoosh was heard and there he was. Severus. He was stood at the end of the garden like a dark cloud of warmth. You jolted ever so slightly and blinked, confused. Were you imagining him?

“Love,” he whispered in that thunderous voice of his that reach all the way to you and your heart leapt. In an instant, you had abandoned the bench and the blanket, your feet lead you down the stairs and he met you halfway through the garden in a strong embrace as new tears welled up and you sobbed into his chest as his arms crushed you to him.

“Love, I’m sorry, I can not stay away any longer. Please,” he breathed into your hair as he held you as close as could be.

“Sev…” 

You stood there for a long moment, held by each other as you both took comfort from the closeness. But you could not allow him to sweep you off your feet again. So after another moment you stepped back and he reluctantly let you out of his embrace but his hands remained on your hips as yours were placed on his chest where you could feel his breaths and the beating of his wonderful heart. The heart you wanted access to, completely. 

“I am sorry,” he whispered as one hand rose to your chin and he tilted your head back. You were nearly lost in the swirling depths of his onyx eyes that appeared black in the darkness. His hair was greasier than you had seen it in a long while, his skin as pale as ever and he looked as if he were in immense pain.

“Severus, that’s not enough,” you whispered back as you had resolved yourself to not giving in yet again. You deserved more than scraps of the man you loved so dearly and he deserved to feel cared for even after someone knew his dark secrets. Knew his emotions and thoughts that he guarded like Cerberus guarded the underworld if you listened to muggles in Greece.  

He sighed as his dark eyes searched yours. You let him. You kept eye contact and didn’t shy away as your emotions were laid bare in your own eyes. He shuddered and you shivered as a tear rolled down his cheek silently.

“I can not tell you, darling, I can not do such a thing with a good conscience.” You sighed at his refusal and that void that had been growing in your heart expanded.

“If you know... Love, if you know what goes on in those meetings, during my mission, if you know these things-”

“Wait, no, I don’t care about that stuff.” You knitted your brows as his rose ever so slightly.

“Then why are we arguing?” He sounded confused and pondering. You groaned.

“Because you. don’t. listen.,” you gritted out as your hands hardened against his chest. 

He had truly not been hearing you at all. You had told him time and time again what you wanted to know. You had asked him time and time again how he was feeling, what he was thinking, what he felt about an endless array of things. Never had you asked to know what happened at the meetings, what he did during his missions or who he met - not once. You sighed and stepped forward so you could lean your forehead against his shoulder. He took the opportunity to wrap his arms around you again. 

“I’m, confused,” he muttered and you chuckled.

“Tell me, Sev, what have I asked you?”

“I-, well you have asked me a lot of things, love.” You sighed on another chuckle. He had no clue what you had been asking because he had not been actively listening, he had just tried to shut you down and assumed you wanted to know information rather than emotions and feelings; thoughts.

“I have asked you to share yourself with me, Severus. I have asked for you, for your emotions and thoughts. Nothing else.” He sighed and kissed the side of your head.

“I am a fool,” he muttered a moment later and you chuckled for the third time as you quite frankly agreed with him at that moment. 

…Back at Spinner’s End… 

You both sat down on the couch after having returned home and taken a shower together, in silence. He had asked you to give him a chance, back at your mother’s house, to understand and try again. It had taken a little convincing because you wanted to make sure he was not simply trying to get you back home with him (even if, honestly, that was all you wanted after having been separated for three days by a stupid argument that hurt so badly). You had agreed on the premises that he talked with you and listened to you so he could stop being a fool. He had agreed to that in return. 

He moved closer to your end of the couch and pulled you into his side. He cradled you against his chest and you were quite content with being there. You wanted to just enjoy him again and be blissfully happy at the moment - but you knew you couldn’t allow that. So you took a breath and he stiffened.

“Sev,” you said as your hand rested gently on his thigh, “tell me how you feel.”

“You want to know how I feel?”

“Yes, how you feel, what you’re thinking, experiencing, where you are emotionally. I want to know you,” you stated with sincerity. He adjusted his position so he could pull you even closer. You waited. 

“This is what I need to do to keep you in my life? Talk about what I feel?” he asked on a low rumble, you nodded, “You just want to know me?” You nodded again.

“That’s all, I want to know the man I love. Not what he does, hears or where he goes. I just want to know you.” Please just let me know you, Sev…

“I, think I can do that.” You smiled at his hesitant words and understood that he would be struggling for a long time to put words on things he felt more often as he never did so before. But perhaps, you would at least get a glimpse this evening.

Severus always kept to himself, the dark and brooding type with secrets. Deep, dark, horrible secrets that were edged with pain or danger. Memories that he had hidden and kept hidden for years. That was the man you had fallen in love with but that was not the man you would stay in love for. That man was starting to show through. You listened intently as he softly and carefully began to talk about trivial emotions, small things really. But it was a start. 

So you leaned into him, relaxed and allowed him to stroke your arm, kiss the top of your head and lean his cheek against it after as his other hand grabbed onto the one you had had resting on his thigh. As the night drew on and you were closing in on dawn his grip on you tightened gradually, as if he was afraid you would leave as he let you hear about his dark secrets and tiny joyful moments. His past, his present, his hope for the future. A future he wanted to spend with you. 

Your hand held onto his a little tighter at that point.

“Severus, honey, there is no way I will let you have a future that I’m not in. I’m with you forever and always. As long as you let me be with you and love you, I will.” Your words made him shake with withheld emotions as he buried his hooked nose in your neck and inhaled a shaky breath that was strangled by a low sob.

“I love you, (y/n).” His breath warmed your skin before he kissed you gently at the junction of your neck and shoulder.

“And I love you, forever, Severus.” You held onto him as the first light of day shined in through the dirty windows and graced your tangled bodies with a golden light of hope. 

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[Feb:2021]

[jaskiersvalley]

Hi! I absolutely ADORE your writing! And I have never dared to give idead to writers because it seems like I would be bothering y’all, but I really love how you adapt all these characters and make them so adorable. So I wanted to share an idea I got and see where you may take it.

Geralt gets to the point in wich he growls and bites Jaskier because he has no other way of containing all the emotions he has for this adorable and feral weirdo. So the reactions in Kaer Morhen to this would be absolutely hilarious.

Nonnie. Nonnie! This is beautiful. The perfect idea! Please, I beg you, never consider yourself a bother, you’re an absolute delight. You’re always welcome to drop by in asks or DMs if you wish. And I’m sure any writer who is open to prompts would be over the moon to hear from you (though I am very happy you came to me, I shall forever think of you as *my* Nonnie now).

Bite Those Odds

The year Gearlt finally brought his ‘friend’ to Kaer Morhen was the year Lambert and Eskel had a lot of fun. And lost a lot of gwent cards while gaining a lot more chores. While they had teased Geralt that Jaskier was just a friend, they rapidly realised that indeed there was nothing more between the bard and his witcher. It was painful to watch. Even Vesemir sighed heavily at intermittent moments when Jaskier openly flirted with Geralt but it flew over a beautifully empty white head.

“You’re going to have try a new tactic,” Eskel whispered to Jaskier in the kitchen. “Please, standing on the top of a table and singing his praise hasn’t worked, try something else.”

Famous last words because Jaskier did indeed change his attempts. Outright wooing of Geralt hadn’t worked so obviously the only thing to do was make him jealous. That wasn’t going great either to be honest. Geralt glowered and glared when Jaskier heaped praise upon Lambert then turned around to compliment Eskel. Not even Vesemir was left out of the sudden adoration of all witchers.

There was only one solution. Eskel shuffled into the kitchen and held up his most hallowed gwent card.

“Geralt will snap in the next three days.”

In response Lambert added a bottle of his moonshine. “He won’t do shit until spring.”

Dutifully, Vesemir took the offerings. “Bank says he’ll react without realising why. Three chores can be deposited for a win.”

The next day Geralt snapped at Eskel when Jaskier sat down next to him, pressing their thighs together. As soon as bard and white wolf were out of the hall, Vesemir pulled out a pair of fur lined gloves.

“Bank says he’ll get into a fight with one of you.”

Two more gwent cards and a couple of bottles of potions were pocketed as bets went about who would actually end up fighting Geralt. While Lambert bet on himself, Eskel thought there would be no fighting.

By the next evening, Jaskier was in Geralt’s lap, looking quite smug and comfortable. However, it wasn’t quite the result the others were hoping for. Because the two idiots still weren’t together.

“The benches are uncomfortable to sit on,” Geralt had muttered as he’d pulled Jaskier into his lap.

Feeling brave, Eskel settled next to them and began eating, happily pushing a pouch of coin across the table with a cheery aard towards Vesemir.

“Tomorrow.”

Immediately Lambert was tearing a page from Jaskier’s journal and scribbling a furious IOU for chores. Scrunching it up, he tossed it to Vesemir. “Spring.”

Nodding, Vesemir pocketed them with a soft “tonight”.

It made no sense and Jaskier decided he would rather ignore it than get caught up in such shenanigans. Instead, he turned his attention to Eskel. “Darling, you have a bit of food-”

Pointing at his own face, Jaskier tried to show where it was. Eskel copied him and wiped at the wrong side of his face which had Jaskier tutting impatiently.

“Here.” Reaching out, Jaskier made to cup Eskel’s cheek and wipe the smear way with his thumb.

There was a fierce, rumbling growl and Jaskier’s hand froze half stretched out because a powerful jaw had clamped down on his forearm. For a second nobody moved, not even Geralt who Jaskier’s arm in his mouth.

“If you’re still hungry, you should have said something dear,” Jaskier laughed. With his free hand he poked Geralt’s nose. “Off. Now. You have better manners than this.”

Suitably embarrassed, Geralt let go. As Jaskier was in his lap, he couldn’t exactly run away. At least not unless-

“You brute! Put me down!” Geralt was standing with Jaskier thrown over one shoulder. “Actually, nice view. Keep me here.” Stretching a little, Jaskier reached down and gave Geralt’s backside a squeeze then a pat. “I’ll die happy.”

“You could die happier,” Geralt muttered darkly, eyes firmly glued to the far wall.

“Oh could I? Yes please!” Jaskier squirmed impatiently. “Take me to the bedroom now and let me die a happy little death.”

Turning sharply, Geralt marched out of the room and Jaskier cheered.

“Fuck.” Eskel watched them leave, face creased in annoyance and Lambert echoed the sentiment.

Sitting back, Vesemir looked quite smug. “Bank wins. Again. Thanks for playing, come back for more.”

[one-abuse-survivor]

Hi, I’m not really sure what I’m going for here, I just kind of want advice about something hope that’s alright. I have a friend, we’d be classified as best friends I suppose - if I’m giving myself that lenience. We’ve known each other since we were really young, been through our worst times together etc etc. I always have this fear that deep down inside she doesn’t actually like me anymore and only keeps me around because she’s too nice and is worried she’d be inadvertently responsible for anything I would do after revealing this (which would be nothing, but still). I’m not sure if it’s just because I’m that full to the brim with self hatred and not capable of understanding why anyone would want to stay because I’m no fun to be around and more of a burden then what I’m worth. I’m always just sad, though I do usually hide it pretty well, I’m sure I’m not as fun to be around as someone who’s genuinely happy or has their shit together majority of the time. We never really hang out anymore, which is in part down to work schedules conflicting, but also she never really asks to - and when she does it always feels like it’s when I’m in a noticeably distressed state. She usually takes days/weeks/sometimes months to respond to my texts, which isn’t exclusive to just me and I’ve let her know I don’t mind the delays cause usually it’s mental health related and I feel that, but the seed of doubt is always there and just seems to grow more and more over time.

I love her very much, and I wouldn’t want to feel like she’s dragging this out for herself just to spare my feelings - I’ve spoken to her about it before and told her it’d be fine if she wanted to leave and that I understand, but she always reaffirms that she does like me and isn’t just putting up with me - I just don’t feel like I ever fully believe it. It’s not a matter of not trusting her to be honest with me, I’m just not used to having good people in my life who actually want to be around or love me and I’m kinda conditioned to believe I’m not worth shit (kuddos to parental emotional neglect, childhood ptsd and past abusive relationships 🤌). I also know her too well to realise even if she did absolutely despise me she would never say it and still treat me like her friend, hence why I’m conflicted between if it’s just me overreacting, or if it is the case she’s tired of me.

Idk, am I just having a really bad bout of self hatred or is she too nice for her own good? Cause I’m not sure anymore. Any advice would be appreciated, whatever you can give

Hey, nonnie ❤️ I'm sorry this has been going on. For what it's worth, I can tell you childhood ptsd and neglect have also made me feel this way about friends before, so I hope you know you're not alone. It's true that these life experiences can make you feel worthless of love, affection, care and genuine human connection.

Something my therapist said a few years ago regarding the feeling that your friends secretly hate you, and that helped to hear, was that it's not your responsibility to tell when others are lying to you. Once you ask them to be honest with you about how they feel about you, what they reply is their choice and their responsibility, and not yours. Even if they are lying, they're the ones who have to work through their issue of being unable to let go of people—it's not you who gets to decide that they do indeed hate you and act accordingly so as not to hurt them. The best thing you can do is respect their choice, and trust that if they chose to tell you they want you in their life it's because they genuinely wanted to say that. And if they didn't... again, that's their issue to worry about, not yours.

This helped me personally because it helped me change the focus of my thoughts, so instead of trying to read other people's minds and overanalyse every single interaction in search for clues that proved my fears right (like my ptsd had trained me to do), I found myself focusing on communication, on asking honest questions, and then on accepting what they communicated to me as the only thing that's my responsibility to take into account moving forward. My therapist called this "drawing the responsibility line".

I also had a conversation about this with my new therapist and what she said was slightly different, but also helpful to me: she said that when we decide for others what they really think about us, we're taking away their agency to decide what they think about us for themselves. And don't our friends deserve to make their own choices about how they feel about us? Why are we trying to make that choice for them?

I know I'm not explaining it as well as either of them did, but I hope some of this still helps to hear. Sending a virtual hug ❤️

[propshophannah]

Am I the only one who thought the book had a lot of sexist undertones? Like preemptively modifying your body to MAYBE one day give birth to your man's (male's) babies? I feel like the IC never tried to let Nesta heal in her own way, they just forced her to do things they thought would be good for her, while demeaning her along the way. And the shield thing around Feyre is very reminiscent of how Tamlin treated her in ACOTAR... I don't know, a lot of the book just made me uncomfortable :/

Hi Nonnie!

First, I want to say that I’m sorry parts of this book made you uncomfortable. That’s never fun. Second…

I think we can reasonably say that no matter what we’re looking at, we can find sexism if we want to. Now that doesn’t mean that some things are not just blatantly sexist. I think with this book there is a conversation to be had about what some of us read as sexist and what some of us read as not sexist or even pro different-forms-of-feminism.

It’s sort of in the eye of the beholder.

It’s also a fantasy world that has developed under a patriarchy. So some things are just as sexist as they “should be” because that’s the world building, right? 

So, like, territorial Fae males is fully explained in the world building and is therefore fully acceptable for the books, and is also, frankly, a kink. SJM caters to that kink. So we know we’re going to get that in these books. Most if their shit is NOT okay for planet Earth. (That’s why some of us actively seek it and enjoy reading it in books.)

So let’s get in it!

Nesta modifying her body

Now as far as Nesta modifying her own body to have children one day, I don’t see that as sexist at all. Because the alternative to her altering her own anatomy is her pausing for a moment and asking Cassian if she can strip him of his faerie race and make him something else that doesn’t have wings. If that happened, we’d be getting into race and identity and all kinds of other shit that is hella problematic. 

So, no. Nesta wanting to one day birth her own children is not sexist. Nesta deciding to alter her own anatomy so that she can safely birth her own children with Cassian, is not sexist. (Now if Cassian did it without permission, then we’d have a problem!)

The IC making Nesta heal their way

Now THIS is a conversation on choice. Not sexism. Rhys has long touted that his court is a court of choices and all that. So forcing Nesta to either go to the human lands (where she’ll very likely die) or go to the House of Wind (where she can’t readily leave) and train and work everyday, is a problem. If you want to make an argument that this is the equivalent of Tamlin locking Feyre in the house, I won’t stop you. I would only ask that you consider the nuance. 

And the nuance here takes us back to world building. They don’t have psychiatric wards or mental health services or rehab centers like we do on planet Earth. Nesta needed help. AND LET ME BE REAL CLEAR: I’m not here to debate what kind of help she needed. (We could run in circles all day long debating that.) What I am saying is that they recognized that: 

Nesta’s behavior was not good, 

that THEY WERE ENABLING HER, 

that they actually had the power to do something about her situation

They do not live in a democracy. They live in a monarchy. They have and hold absolute power and rule. And while that whole intervention—or whatever the fuck that was—was absolutely TERRRRIBLE, they had every right to do what they did. Why? Because it fit the world building.

They acted like rich parents fed up with a wild teenager so they cut her off and gave her a choice between getting kicked out of the house or going to work on grandpa’s farm in the middle of BFE. Essentially that’s what they did.

Do I agree with it? Eh... they didn’t have a lot of options and SOMETHING needed to happen (I’d have been VERY ANGRY had they left her to die like that). Do I like it? FUCK NO. They went about it all wrong and it was shitty.

Abandoning her in the human lands would have been fucking murder. But do you HONESTLY, HONESTLY think Feyre would have done that??? ALSO, LET’S BE REAL: Nesta would not have stayed there long because EVERY HIGH LORD knows about her power and would want her in their court. That whole shit about the human lands likely was NOT real and was a scare tactic. It was a shitty scare tactic. But again, it fit the world building. AND Nesta’s character (cuz it worked, she didn’t ask to go to the human lands). 🤷🏻‍♀️ 

This isn’t directed at you Nonnie, but what did people think would happen? There would suddenly be psych wards and rehab centers and Feyre and Rhys would start acting with compassion and kindness and like they themselves had gone to therapy for decades and suddenly be able to convince Nesta to sign herself into one of those facilities? 

I get it’s annoying. And it’s infuriating. And some of their bullshit talking out their ass moments made me want to throw the book across the damn room. Because that’s not how you act to people in the middle of a downward spiral/crisis like Nesta was. 

But here’s the thing: they have no basis for knowing better. They don’t have mental health services. Gwyn mentioned a priestess who counsels them, but that’s NOT the same thing as a therapist or psychologist or psychiatric NP or psychiatrist.

So what did people expect?

Also. Do you think for one second, Nesta would have responded well to compassionate attempts to get her help? She hadn’t hit rock bottom yet (where compassion would have worked wonderfully *depending* on the type of rock bottom she hit). She would have seen any attempt like that as pity and she would have rebelled.

Here’s how I get over being annoyed with Feysand and Amren for that dumb af “intervention” moment: I remind myself that

They recognized she couldn’t keep going down the path she was going.

They recognized that they loved her too much to let that happen (Feyre at least). 

They recognized that they held ABSOLUTE POWER over her in their realm

They recognized that they needed to put her in a place where she had a purpose, a routine, where she couldn’t fall back on old habits, and where she had the option to talk to other trauma survivors (if she chose to) 

That’s what they knew. Putting her in the House was their only choice. So they did. And guess what? It worked. 

Now, the forcing her to train thing was BULLSHIT. You can’t force other people to change, they have to want that for themselves. But guess what? Turns out Nesta wanted to change. Because she wasn’t against training. She was only against doing it in a place where she could be judged. 🤷🏻‍♀️ 

Also, exercising is FUCKING FANTASTIC for mental health. (Maas knows that.)

Now did they demean her along the way? Yes. 

Was it shitty? HELL, YES! 

Did Rhys finally learn his lesson that night with the nightmare? He sure af did! 

Did some people in the fandom expect too much from Amren? Yep. Lady was never going to show affection or be nice to Nesta. Amren shows respect. When you respect Amren, she respects you. That’s her ENTIRE character. We’re three books in with Amren. Idk why people are still butthurt about her personality. Like. You can’t get mad at Amren for not being a table when she’s always been a chair. (Doesn’t mean we have to like her behavior or anyone else’s. But it does mean that we only have ourselves to blame when she acts the way she always has.) This same logic applied to Mor and Feyre and Elain etc.

Also. Did them acting like assholes drive the plot forward? IT SURE AF DID! If they had acted differently the book wouldn’t be as good as it is.

The shield around Feyre

If you want to make the argument about how this is a Tamlin thing to do, I won’t stop you. But again, I’ll ask you to consider the nuance and the world building. 

In a world where anyone can scent a pregnancy, would you not try to hide your ruler’s pregnant scent and body from enemies and potential attacks? I would! 

Is it a little territorial? Yes. 

Does that make sense for the world building and what we know about Fae males? Yep! 

Could Feyre have told Rhys to cut the shit? Yes. 

Is it possible Feyre *maybe* use the lie of Rhys and Helion(?) having fun with shield as an excuse to have it around herself? Yeah. I’d probably do it. 

Look, if Feyre hadn’t wanted the shield, it would have been gone. They said it was a compromise, but you can’t tell me Rhys would force a shield around her against her own will (or that she, The Cursebreaker, wouldn’t bust through it in a heartbeat).

Sorry if this comes off as salty, Nonnie! I don’t mean to be. I just don’t really understand why people get mad at stuff in books *that’s perfectly reasonable* for the world building when the alternative that they would prefer would be out of character, out the world building, or create plot holes etc. 

Hope this helps!

[seijorhi]

asks :))

what i have learned today is that y’all wanna get fucked by some monsters...

What does nostos mean? What language is it in? 🤔 also I of course loved it, mind blown as usual queen

it’s ancient greek! it means homecoming, the idea of a triumphant return home for the hero after a long journey. i found it through looking at the root of nostalgia. in this fic of course it’s kind of a grim tongue in cheek play on it. the reader’s coming back to the mountains, but she’s running away after a bad breakup, and the welcome she gets is... shall we say less than ideal haha

Just read nostos-

First of all as a person who reads monster shit- hell ya. Mhm. That’s some good shit right there. That was DELICIOUS horror. It actually had me a bit nervous and afraid to read what was gonna happen next 😳

Secondly- omg I wanna know what happened next (at the end) 👀 know what I mean??? 😼

ANYWAY AS ALWAYS you never disappoint and your writing is fantastic (if/when you write horror yandere stuff again I’ll be there- frothing at the mouth. A+++++ work ILY💖)

you want me to write the monster porn, just say it bby ghfjdkshgfjkd but ty

Omfg that fic was so good!

Did the readers mom know about monster kuroo?? Or was she just worried because of the previous murder? And did Kuroo somehow manipulate reader into coming back to the forest or was it just a big coincidence? (👁👄👁 there's no such thing as a coincidence)

Looking forward to your future work <3

ty nonnie!! i didn’t have the right space for it, but after kohsuke was ripped apart and eaten kuroo stayed by the reader’s side until late in the night, only disappearing when he heard the reader’s parents/search party approaching. they found her lying in pools of blood (and scattered half eaten body parts), shaking and unresponsive – they knew no animal could’ve done something like that. so they knew something lurked in those woods, but considering the reader had repressed the memories, her mom couldn’t just come out and say it <33

You are an AMAZING horror writer!!!

The uneasiness I got from the conversations with the mom is just *chefs kiss*

A+++++

ahh thank you!! horror is such a hard genre to write because i’m never sure if the suspense and everything’s gonna hit right haha

I read Nostos before going to sleep last night and at the time I was like “sure hope this doesn’t give me nightmares” and thankfully it didn’t lol. But I think I’m willing to take that chance again because it’s so GOOD and I think I’m just going to have to relive it – @ohno-otome

fhdjgbfhjkdfn i’m glad it didn’t give you nightmares bby!! but i also appreciate that haha, i’m an absolute wimp with scary movies and stuff but i just can’t stop watching them haha

I just wanna say that I was listening to "You're a psychotic villain playlist" on youtube while reading Kuroo's oneshot and I can't explain the emotions I felt, but I'd let Kuroo do things to me asdfghjkl – @itishebihime-samaforyou

ooh nice! sometimes the right playlist makes things doubly as fun haha

OH MY GOD!?!?! Nostos was soooo GOOD?!?!? Like it was so creepy (but in a good way), and scary and suspenseful!! And the ending!?!? Omggg honestly one my fav fics from you!! You did my mans Kuroo justice 🥺💖💕

TYYYYYYY i was genuinely concerned i was gonna scare everybody off haha

Ah! The new fic! Chiefs kiss! Magnificent! Bravo!🧚‍♀️✨🧞‍♀️🦖🦭🌹💫

tysm nonnie!!! <33

i’m pretty sure i’m in the same/similar timezone as you? and i do be staying up late to be one of the first to read your fics (i usually stay up late anyways). so imagine my surprise when i see you post in the afternoon. in conclusion, whether you post to align with your european and american readers’ timezone, my gmt+10 arse will still be one of the first to read your fics. also nostos sjdufigyyjf i have to admit, i recently just found out about monster fucking and nostos scratched the itch😫 i feel bad for kohsuke though

bby i always post at like 2-4 in the morning please get some sleep!! the fics will be there in the morning lmao. i kinda low key forget about my aussie/gmt+10 followers because i think there’s like... 3 of you haha

Honestly if i could give u a dollar everytime i got off to your fics, you'd probably be rich by now

lmao the idea that people find my fics hot enough to get off to still blows my mind lol

your newest kuroo fic was so SO good!! its totally okay if you dont want to answer this so you can keep things ambiguous but is monster kuroo planning on killing the reader after he's...done with them

thank you, bby!! but no, monster kuroo isn’t gonna eat her – he’s had plenty of chances to do that if that’s what he wanted, but he has other plans for the poor reader

RHI, I WANT TO STATE FOR THE RECORD THAT I AM OKAY WITH MORE MONSTER FUCKING IN THE FUTURE. i also want to say im not a monster fucker, but that just feels like a lie at this point. okay, now that that's off my chest, i love it. the mystery, the connections of kuroo to a cat. kuroo's probably gonna go and batter around his prey once they're under his grip like my cat does. hopefully the reader will come out somewhat unscathed, if they are ever allowed to leave 😌 love this, love how different it is, the way kuroo just tries to weasel in. very monster and yandere vibes, very you. have i said i love this yet?? id willingly let him get me drunk on his cock, maybe never leave the peace of the mountains again

‘i want to say that i’m not a monster fucker’ bby the denial will get you nowhere haha. just lean in and embrace it hgfjkdlkfgjnkdl ahh but thank you this is such a sweet ask ILY!!!

Omg omg the monster thing kuroo was in ur latest fic is so familiar to me abdhdmfnjfjf. I remember being told abt a monster with VERY SIMILAR characteristics to it (aka the not being able to go inside a house unless invited and using fire to lure ppl out) AND JFC IT TERRIFIED ME. Esp how when i told ppl around me and they didnt recognize what it was, but it was somehow known to the kid that told me abt it.

(Some ppl thought it was familiar but still didnt know what it was)

Do u know what im talking abt? Hopefully u do

-🥚

GHFJDK so the monster in this is kind of based off the nekomata spirit in japanese folklore - they can appear like people, torment victims by reanimating the corpses of their loved ones, they’ve been blamed for forest fires, so it was just fun to use that as a basis and then go buck wild haha. anyway thanks for the ask bby!

Rest In Peace Kohsuke, you would’ve loved Haikyuu season 5😔✊– @joyvstheworld

poor kohsuke deserved better, i’m just mean to the oc’s i throw into fics haha

Monsterfucking ❤❤❤❤❤❤ a little annoyed you're making me simp for yan Kuroo though (a vibe tho tbh). You're so extremely talented!!!! &

This is probably a stupid question, but how did Kageyama react when he couldn't find y/n? How is life with yan Suga? I imagine probably awful BUT yknow maybe the stockholm syndrome set in fast lmao. Sorry, I'm going on a binge reading your stuff. - @oracleofdin

i will not apologise for making you simp for kuroo he deserves it the man’s a snacc. and as far as your second question, suga’s a very caring, very smothering kinda yandere, so i guess in some ways it’s better than what the reader had with kageyama but... pick your poison haha

That was so good. I’m so shook rn I can’t comprehend anything but how good that was and how good a writer you are

TYSM NONNIE!!! <33

Ok, so, I just read Final Girl and the lil' ticket addition to it and just---

Well, ok I've been playing Dead by Daylight a lot lately? And I'm just picturing Tetsu as the newest killer "The Trickster" and I'm positively RANDY.

Your writing is ALREADY thirst inducing and just as satisfying, but this has SENT ME- If you're not familiar, please...

https://youtu.be/iowkiPobYYQ

Understand my thirst. (I'd also like to clarify, I use a different skin for him that gives him black hair and he looks like Kuroo with an undercut.)

~ @the-casual-hedonist 🌸

i love how feral y’all got for final girl kuroo. like bo and akaashi had his fans, but i put a spiked bat in kuroo’s hands and y’all lost your goddamn minds and i love to see it. fghdjkvhfjdkls thanks for the ask bby

idk why but I love preggo reader as long as I don't pretend it's me 😢✋ I hate babies n pregnancy anywhere else other than horny haikyuu fics

i think that’s a valid thing for a lot of fans. the idea of breeding is sexy, the actual getting pregnant and having a kid thing... not so much. but especially with non-con scenario’s, it’s more about the aspect on control than the actual desire to have kids. but yeah, i feel you

Sorry to bother but uh was just wondering in fracture did Osamu kill his wife or was it actually an “unfortunate event” ? Love your work btw!!

he most certainly did :))

LMFAO RHI i totally get not liking cheating/infidelity fics (towards reader) bc IT HIRTS ME SO BAD I CANNOT HANDLE THOSE.

id be reading fics those fics like: tf you mean my yandere aimt gonna baby me and only want me??🤨🤨🤨⁉️‼️

EXACTLY! listen i get that it’s a fucked up fantasy, but in my fucked up fantasy you damn well better have the decency to be loyal smh

Finders keepers is the most beautiful thing I've read by you: I read it twice like I normally do and here's what I figured out the second time (that's when I analyze it and find the little tidbits of things that are much darker than they appear (: )

To start I LOVE THE DETAILS OF THEM NEVER TEACHING READER ANYTHING- at first I assumed "oh they might see her as a little sister or child or something" but realized thAT WAS THE ISSUE!! they infantilize her and isolate her from everyone but her group. the small details like that are what make the story amazing 😎💅

ahh thank you so much, nonnie!! pls this is making me soft 🥺

I just wanted to stop by and say that I love your writing and I hope you're doing well!!! Drink plenty of water and keep up the amazing work :) but seriously you're one of the best fanfic writers I've seen on tumblr! I read your "Imitation" piece about kuroo and i keep coming back to it, it's so good! I did want to ask if you think it'd be possible for the reader to ever escape with the baby (or at least attempt to). Or if Kenma would "help" at all just to put an end to kuroo's antics lmao

kenma would in no way help the reader, and tbh by that point if kuroo did get her pregnant, she’d be far too emotionally dependant on him to actually even want to leave, but thanks for the ask!

You know who I think would be a perfect Yandere in the JJK world? Choso.

🚨Spoilers Ahead🚨

After being locked in a glass jar for however long he was, and all that happened with his brothers, I feel like he would absolutely never let his darling out of his sight. He would be possessive. Obsessive. And Oh So delusional. Sure he’d be your anything - he truly is a softy - but to what end?🤤

choso would make an excellent yandere, ngl 😌

what au/troupe of your fav character(s) that you have written do you like the most?

(rlly hope this makes sense🙏)

i am always a slut for soulmate au’s :))

[thewayshedreamed]

Open Secrets— Nessian AU

Prompt submission by Nonnie— Reverse fake dating au where everyone thinks you’re dating and you’re keeping it a secret, but you’re not.

Thanks to whoever submitted this prompt! I’d originally completed this prompt for Feysand, but I struggled between that one and this one! Thanks to @awesomelena555 and @bookstantrash for encouraging me to post the Nessian version too!

——————————————————————————

Nesta pulled up to Rhysand and Feyre’s new home about 30 minutes after their house-warming party had begun. It was certainly a little out of character of her, being that she was someone who considered five minutes early as “on time”. It wasn’t really her fault. Elain had called her right before she pulled into their neighborhood to let her know they had drastically underestimated the amount of alcohol they would need for all the guests. Nesta had driven a little past the neighborhood to make the supplemental booze run, and she was about to walk into this party a hero.

She slipped into the party, aiming to keep a low profile. She absolutely hated arriving somewhere and being the sudden center of attention, so she was hoping to avoid that. The party was split; half indoors and half outdoors, making it all the easier for her.

She took inventory of her surroundings as she made her way toward the kitchen. There were several small groups sprinkled around in conversation, and some were outside playing yard games or drinking games. She already felt hungover just watching them.

Her eyes landed on Rhys, Azriel, and Cassian. They were off to the side, all sipping on drinks, and talking enthusiastically with each other. She noticed Cassian seemed to be on the receiving end of whatever hell they were giving, if his rigid posture and frequent eye rolling was any indication. She chuckled a little at that; he probably had that coming.

He excused himself abruptly from the conversation, tossing his beer bottle into a trash can a few feet away. He walked toward the house, and Nesta quickly directed her attention back to unloading the beer and liquor to wherever it needed to be stored in the kitchen. She heard the sliding glass door open, then close, followed by heavy footsteps walking through the kitchen.

“Hey, Nes! When did you get here?” He threw an arm around her shoulders, giving her a side-hug while she worked.

It seemed like such a small thing to most, but the fact that she and Cassian had made it to this point impressed her. With the way things had started when they’d originally met, things looked bleak for them on the friendship front. She wasn’t sure when his snark and cocky demeanor shifted from infuriating to endearing, but she had come to learn that those traits were such a tiny part of who he was. All of that considered, she leaned in to the casual side-hug, not wanting to take their progress for granted.

“Just now, actually. I haven’t even finished unloading the car.”

”Damn, sweetheart. How much booze did you bring?!” He grabbed a beer from the fridge and opened it as he leaned back on the counter.

”Probably not enough if we’re sharing with the likes of you,” she teased. She felt a small tap between her shoulder blades, followed by a ping sound. She turned around to see Cassian’s beer cap sliding across the floor. That little shit actually threw his beer cap at her.

She glared at him and was met with a sideways smirk on his face. He broke into a laugh when she didn’t back down and rocked forward to push himself off the counter.

“Sorry, sweetheart. I’ll make it up to you by helping you unload the car. Keep me company?” he requested.

”Fine. On the way you can tell me what your friends were giving you shit about outside. I’m starting to think maybe you earned it,” she taunted.

The cadence of his steps was interrupted just a fraction by her question, but he recovered quickly enough.

”Actually, I don’t know that I did this time.”

”Well now I’m definitely intrigued.”

He hesitated for several seconds, his jaw working as he thought through what to say next.

“I’m not sure I should tell you,” he stated, as he opened the backseat of her car. He grabbed the rest of the drinks before shutting her car door firmly.

“That makes me want to know even more, Cassian.”

”Okay, fine. But just remember that you wanted this. And you can’t be mad or get weird about it.”

His disclaimer gave her pause, but she nodded her head anyway. Curiosity won this round.

“For whatever reason, they have their minds made up that you and I are seeing each other and are trying to keep it on the down low. I’m still not entirely sure why they think we would keep it under wraps if we were involved, but that’s their theory right now.” His words came out in a rush as if he was trying to get it over with and pretend they never had the conversation.

Nesta merely blinked several times before replying, “Hm. Okay. So I get that they didn’t tell you why they think we’d hide it, but did they at least say why they think we’re a thing in the first place?”

Cassian rolled his eyes as he unloaded the remaining drinks into the refrigerator.

“Who the fuck knows with those two? All I remember them saying was something about how we have way too much tension between us and how we went from hating each other to being friendly overnight.” He took a swig of his beer.

”So, since we’re nice to each other now, we’re fucking?” There was no frustration in her tone. She was actually a little amused at how faulty the logic was.

Cassian choked on his beer; the result of not being prepared for that question coming from Nesta, of all people. He coughed into his elbow several times before he recovered.

“Caught me off guard, sorry. Yes, apparently, but I told them to knock it off.”

She was lost in thought for several seconds. “This could be fun,” she mused.

”What could be fun?” His confusion was obvious all over his face.

“The more we try to prove them wrong, the more they’re going to think they’re right. So why not just lean into it and have a little fun messing with them.”

”Oo. I like this. Get them all riled up about it and let them down later. I can’t say I’d hate to watch them squirm a little,” he replied.

”Exactly. But if we do this, we have to commit. We can’t question each other in front of anyone else, or the whole thing is shot,” she warned. “If we feel like we’re not on the same page, we reconvene here and make our way back out there once we figure it out.”

He smiled at her, a true broad smile, with the gleam of mischief in his hazel eyes. “You’re a wicked little woman, Archeron. I love it.”

——————————————————————————

They walked from the kitchen together, breaking apart once Nesta started making her rounds to greet everyone. Cassian walked back over to his friends, who were both clearly amused with themselves even still. He wanted to throttle both of them.

“What took you so long, Cass?” Rhys asked, a cocky little half smile on his face.

”Helped Nesta unload all the booze out of her car.” He took a long swig of his beer. “Don’t you say a fucking word, you prick.”

”Wouldn’t dream of it,” Rhys replied, earning a laugh from Azriel.

Both of them looked over his shoulder just as he felt someone approach him from behind. He felt a small hand rest on his bicep, turning him slightly toward them.

“Hey, Cass,” Nesta beamed up at him, and he swore his heart stopped. “I never said thank you for helping me.” She glanced down at her hand, and quickly drew it away to put it in her back pocket. She looked down at the ground and cleared her throat before looking at him again. “So, thank you. I owe you one.”

Wow, she was good. She looked every bit the part of someone who lost her bearings and was caught being affectionate. His returning smile was genuine.

“Of course. Happy to do it,” he replied, as she turned her attention to greet Rhysand and Azriel.

She walked away to make her next stop in greetings, and he made sure to watch her go for just a second longer than necessary. When he turned his attention back to the guys, they were smirking at each other like the smug bastards they were. This was going to be too easy.

——————————————————————————

The next couple of hours progressed in a similar fashion. Surprisingly, they stayed on the same page without much effort, playing off of each other from one scenario to the next. They gravitated to each other when their paths happened to cross, but they kept their interactions short. If someone walked up on them, they slipped away somewhat awkwardly as if they were guilty of something they shouldn’t be doing. They easily slipped small, seemingly intimate actions into each interaction whenever they knew Rhys or Azriel was nearby. Nesta would rest her hand on Cassian’s forearm briefly as they laughed. Cassian would shove her with his shoulder in passing, earning a playful scolding from Nesta. A couple of times when they were standing in a small group, Nesta would subtly grab Cassian’s drink to take a sip and hand it back as if it were second nature. In response, Cassian would rub his thumb absent-mindedly over where her lips had touched the rim. By this point, Rhys and Azriel were nearly bursting with their desire to call them out on their behavior.

They partnered up for a couple of games, making it a point to stand an arm’s length apart. However, occasionally when things would go their way, they would engage in a celebratory hug and simultaneously spring apart to their original places like they forgot themselves. Nesta decided they worked incredibly well together despite being such an unlikely alliance. They won the second game and celebrated with loud cheers and a high five. Nesta caught Cassian’s eye briefly, muttering “Kitchen, in 5” through her smile.

She made her way there and busied herself with refilling her drink. Right on time, she heard Cassian’s heavy footfall entering the kitchen. She turned around, meeting his amused expression with one of her own.

”Hey! Everything okay? Am I not reading this right?” he asked.

“No, no, no. You’re great. I just wanted to talk without eyes on us for a second to see how you think things are going. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve caught Rhys and Azriel glancing over at us,” she said through a chuckle. His shoulders seemed to relax at her reassurance.

He responded with a laugh of his own. “Oh, they’re crawling out of their skin. Especially Rhys. It kills him when he thinks he’s right but can’t say anything.”

”That’s definitely like him,” Nesta joked.

Around Cassian’s shoulder, she saw Azriel through the glass door approaching the house. She glanced up at her partner-in-crime with a conspiratorial grin across her face.

“Hug me. Hurry— make it good.” He did as he was told, looping an arm around her waist and cradling her head to his chest. “When you hear the door open, back up.”

A few more seconds passed before they heard the long slide of the glass door as Azriel pulled it open. Cassian made a show of tensing and pulling away quickly, clearing his throat. Nesta shoved her hands into her back pockets as she had done several times over the course of the day when she was “caught” touching her rumored lover.

“Well, hey guys. How’s it going?” Azriel asked with a cocky, sideways smile.

Cassian mumbled something about needing the restroom and quickly fled the premises, leaving Nesta to brave Azriel alone. He’d definitely be paying for that one.

“Good. I needed a little break from outside. Got a little overwhelmed with all the hustle and bustle.”

”Mm. Understandable,” he replied, grabbing another beer from the fridge and turning toward her. “What was all that about? With Cass?”

”What was what?”

“Nesta. All the hugging I had the misfortune of walking in on. What’s going on with you two?” He leaned back onto the counter, crossing one ankle over the other and putting his free hand in his front pocket.

It took her a second to gather her thoughts before she decided she didn’t particularly care for being the only flustered one around here. Additionally, she was annoyed that Azriel seemed so cocksure about his position, as if Nesta were totally oblivious to all the questioning he and Rhys had done earlier. Granted, as far as they knew, she was, but that was neither here nor there.

It was time for the tables to start turning, even if she hadn’t had the chance to discuss it with Cassian yet. However, if he were that concerned about it, he wouldn’t have completely abandoned her to deal with Azriel. He was along for the ride now and would have to go with the flow.

Azriel wasn’t one to be easily flustered, that much Nesta knew. She knew she wouldn’t be able to be incredibly subtle because he would see right through it. She also knew he wasn’t above continuing to point on the flaws in her logic if she were to get caught in that web. She had to be decisive, creative, and she had to commit.

She walked over a little closer to him, facing him and propping her hip on the counter next to where he was leaning. She looked up into his face, and he eyed her suspiciously, an apprehensive look dawning over his features. Perfect.

“So, that’s in then. You’ve cracked our code?” she asked quietly.

”I wouldn’t call what you two have a ‘code’, Nes.” Arrogant bastard. Any doubt or guilt she’d felt for deceiving her friends had officially dwindled to zero. Azriel’s response had served her in that way, at least. She inched slightly closer to him, running her fingertips from his forearm down to his wrist, where his hand met his pocket.

“Then you knew we were going to talk to you? What gave it away?” she whispered, looping her fingers around the sensitive underside of his wrist.

Azriel’s eyes widened, glancing to her hand and back up to her face quickly. She watched his throat bob as he swallowed.

”You hardly need my permission, Nesta,” he responded.

She brought her other hand to cup his shoulder, leaning into him a little more. She could feel his entire body tense as if moving too quickly would provoke her to attack. He took an extra long pull from his beer.

“I disagree. Cassian and I both insisted that we talk to you together.”

It was at that moment that her co-conspirator returned from his bathroom trip. She watched as he scanned the situation, noting her hands on Azriel’s arm and shoulder. He pulled his lips into a curious smile.

“The two of you look cozy. I thought we were talking to him together, sweetheart,” he said, playing off of the comment he’d overheard.

He moved to the spot on the other side of Azriel, shooting her a questioning look when Azriel’s attention was turned away from him. Nesta’s face gave nothing away as she let out a soft laugh, shaking her head at Cassian with affectionate exasperation.

“You took a little while, and I wasn’t sure when we would be able to get him alone again. I hadn’t said anything to him yet. Not without you.”

”Well, don’t let me stop you. By all means, love, carry on,” he said, using a flat palm gesture forward. He gave her a full smile in return, and she noted how much it softened his features. He truly was quite beautiful, in a rough, raw sort of way.

She peered up at Azriel, waiting until he looked down at her.

“You mentioned me and Cassian, but it’s not what you think. At least, not exactly.” He gave her a confused look. She decided to continue before she lost her nerve with this last-minute plan. She turned her gaze to Cassian for the briefest of seconds before looking back at Azriel.

“I don’t really know how to ask this properly, so I’m just going to go for it, I guess. I know you think we’re sleeping together and it’s some kind of secret. But honestly, we wouldn’t care to be secretive about just us. We’re adults. But, we wanted to be respectful of you in the event you were okay with this.”

She could see Cassian hanging on her every word beside Azriel, just as naive to what she was going to suggest. She took a breath before finishing in a low rasp, sounding way more confident than she felt. It was all for the mission, she told herself.

“We wanted to know if you’d join us, Az.” She watched as his eyes nearly popped out of his head, hurrying to finish. “I know, I know. Probably out of nowhere, but we agreed we would give you some time to think. And it doesn’t have to be an ongoing thing if you want to try and see how it goes. No hard feelings either way, seriously.”

She moved her gaze to meet Cassian’s, whose hazel eyes were also threatening to launch from their sockets. He mastered himself quickly, his timing perfect, since Azriel was snapping his head toward him.

”What the fuck is happening? What the fuck is this?” He was looking back and forth between them, begging for an explanation or an escape route.

Nesta feared that maybe she had made an executive call that Cassian wasn’t good with carrying through. To her surprise, he lifted one of his large hands to cup Azriel’s cheek, keeping his face turned toward him.

”Az, it’s okay.” He subtly rubbed his thumb over Azriel’s cheek, and Nesta had to bite her cheek to keep from giggling. “You don’t have to say anything now. It’s just... I trust you. And if I’m going to do this, it makes the most sense for it to be with someone who knows me like you do. Plus, you were first on Nesta’s list.”

She shot him a heated glare, knowing he was throwing her under the bus as revenge for keeping him out of the loop. She supposed she had earned that.

Azriel shot from his position, walking to the other side of the kitchen. He set his beer down and braced both of his large hands on the countertop. His head was hanging forward as he took deep breaths, and they heard him mutter a low, “What the fuck?”

Nesta and Cassian had both oriented toward him, their backs now toward the counter. They were standing shoulder to shoulder, Cassian with his hands in his pockets and Nesta with her arms crossed. She grabbed her drink she’d refilled earlier to take a sip before offering some to Cassian.

Ariel’s head lifted slightly as he fixed his gaze on the wall in front of him.

“Why do people always ask me to be part of their threesomes?” he whispered to no one in particular. Nesta and Cassian turned their heads toward each other, both of their brows raised in question. How often was this happening to Azriel?

He turned around to face them again, his brown furrowed in concentration.

“Az, don’t overextend yourself for our benefit,” Cassian joked. “I didn’t realize we were two of many.”

”Fuck off, Cass.” He rubbed his temples in impatience. “Can I ask, why me?”

Nesta didn’t miss a beat. They’d tortured him enough, and she was ready to reveal the truth.

“Well, seeing as you and Rhysand feel so comfortable as to insert yourselves into other’s affairs, we figured you may appreciate a front-row seat,” she replied dryly.

Cassian snorted a laugh and looked down at her with something like admiration. He bumped her shoulder with his for good measure.

“You’re messing with me?” Azriel demanded incredulously. Cassian broke out into a full laugh at that.

“Indeed. Nothing gets by you, Az,” he responded.

”We have been all day,” Nesta interjected. “You two were quick to lean in to your theory.” She couldn’t hide her laugh this time.

Azriel stood there, dumbfounded and speechless. His eyes scanned both of their faces and darkened as he noted their amusement.

“What the hell is wrong with you? You can’t just go around asking people to join you in threesomes!”

”Don’t be upset, man. You’ll always be my first choice,” Cassian teased.

Azriel’s eyes locked onto his, showing a strong promise of violence if this conversation didn’t change direction.

“Oh, stop it. Both of you. Cassian, stop antagonizing Azriel. And you.” She pointed her finger to where Azriel stood. “You think I didn’t know about you and Rhysand’s little theories about me and Cassian? All because we dared be nice to each other?”

She gave him a chance to respond. He didn’t.

“I’ve seen every single smirk you two have exchanged anytime we were within 10 feet of each other, so sure that you were right about us. We fed every bit of it to you on a platter, and you were too quick to believe what you wanted. Well, let this,” she gestured with her finger in a circle, “be a reminder that things aren’t always as they seem. And stop theorizing on your friend’s sex life. You know better than anyone that his arrogance would have him giving you the details for less than this.”

“Hey!” Cassian complained. “I’m on your side.”

Azriel lifted both of his hands in surrender, breathing a low chuckle before he spoke.

“I don’t know whether I’m more relieved by the truth or pissed off that you two did this to us all damn day. But either way, you’re right, Nesta. It’s really not our business, and we’ve been know-it-all little pricks all day long. I’m sorry. Truly.” He moved forward, holding out his arms in offer of a group hug. They accepted, Nesta gripping each of them around the waist and Cassian wrapping around both of their shoulders.

Just before they let go, Cassian nuzzled his face into Azriel’s neck, earning a curse from Azriel as he playfully pushed him away. Nesta threw her head back in a laugh, relieved, yet disappointed, that their game had come to an end.

——————————————————————————

Later that evening, what remained of their little gathering had moved inside to continue the festivities. Someone had suggested Twister, and Cassian had offered to referee and work the spinner. He was way too fucking big for this game.

“Right hand, blue!” he called.

He watched as his friends scrambled to find the closest blue space, bickering as if it were life or death. He laughed as he watched Rhysand and Nesta battle over the same blue space. The latter ended up sprawled on her ass by the time the turn was over. She huffed her frustration and landed a firm poke to Rhysand’s ribs before stalking over to the couch by Cassian.

“Cheap shot, demon witch,” Rhysand called after her. The masked affection in his tone was obvious, but she shot him a vulgar gesture all the same.

“Don’t be a sore loser, sweetheart,” he teased, as she plopped down on the couch next to him. “You got yours earlier tonight when Azriel filled him in on our ruse.”

“That’s totally different,” she insisted.

He called out the next position, watching intently for any foul play. He heard her quiet voice from next to him and had to fight the urge to turn to her.

“You know, I had a lot of fun with you today,” she said.

“I did, too. We made a good team,” he replied.

He rested a hand above her knee absent-mindedly, pulling it away just as quickly to flick the spinner for the next turn. Apparently, their day of shenanigans had lowered any reservations he had about making physical contact with her. His palm seemed to burn slightly where he’d touched her.

“Right foot, green!” he called.

She dropped her voice just a bit lower so that only he could hear over the mixed sounds in the room.

“Did it make you even a little curious? I guess all that pretending had me thinking of what it would be like if we...” she trailed off.

He couldn’t fight his glance at her this time. He took note of her bottom lip between her teeth and the slight blush across her cheeks. That was the second time tonight that he had been struck dumb by how beautiful she was.

He fought to turn his face away from hers to initiate the next turn. He called out the next position before answering her as nonchalantly as possible.

“Curiosity hit me well before tonight, sweetheart.” His heart thundered slightly at the admission.

Out of the corner of his eye, he watched as she reached for his phone on the cushion between them. She handed it to him when she was prompted with the lock screen, and he mindlessly typed in his code. She worked for a second, locked his phone, and placed it back into its original position before reaching for her own.

He had to settle a disagreement between Mor and Feyre about hand placement before he was able to turn his attention back to Nesta. Why the fuck had he ever volunteered for this?

He unlocked his phone to see that his messaging app was open. There was an outgoing message to a number he didn’t recognize. Upon opening it, all the message said was, “Cassian.”

He glanced over at Nesta, watching as she stopped typing and locked her own phone. Within seconds, his phone vibrated with an incoming message from that unknown number. Nesta’s number.

He scanned the message, realization dawning on him within seconds. She’d sent him her home address followed by four simple words. “No pressure. No expectations.”

Before he could say anything at all, Nesta stood from the couch, reaching her arms over her head in a long stretch. His mouth went dry looking at the lines her body made as she did so.

“Alright, guys. It’s past my bedtime. I’m out,” she called as she blew kisses to her sisters.

She grabbed her things, slid her feet into her shoes, and made her way toward the door. She lingered for half a second to give Cassian a small smile. Just like that, she was gone, leaving Cassian to finish what seemed like it could be the longest Twister game in all of eternity.

——————————————————————————

Kind of already have a part 2 swimming around in my head for this one, so that may be a thing soon! 

Feel free to keep the prompts coming, and let me know if you have a particular pairing or mood in mind ☺️

If you’d like to be added to my tag list, you can comment, shoot me an ask, or reblog! I’ll be happy to add you!

Tags (Masterlist):

@polireader // @justgiu12 // @hizqueen4life // @sis-it-dont-add-up // @b00kworm // @bookstantrash // @gisellefigue08​ // @maastrash​ // @superspiritfestival // @girl-who-reads-the-books

[gra-sonas]

Hi friend. Thank you so much for your offer!!!! I am torn because I would honestly love a rundown of the vlamburn live, but I again don’t want you to put yourself out too much. Knowing you even spent an hour on the Vlamis one makes me feel bad!!! Maybe if you get bored haha, I would love it but please please don’t put yourself out and please also take as much time as you want, no hurry at all IF you decide to do it. Thank you again for everything 💗💗

Okay, nonnie, this took a tad longer to transcribe, but it’s done, now.

Putting the transcript behind a READMORE bc it got quite long. Hope this will help you (and maybe others, too). Sending much love your way, and I hope you get to watch the live. Happy Sunday! ❤️

Vlamis: *goes live* *opens can of Mountain Dew* “I’m gonna thirst my quench. Because I am thirsty for Malex. That’s what I’m thirsty for.”

“Where you at Tyler” (waiting for Tyler to request him)

Vlamis notices a few of his friends have joined the live (a girl who gave him his first hug in 6th grade, and Parker Seaman, famously responsible for pranking with SunBum)

“What’s up, Vlambase?” Makes sure to differentiate between *the* Vlambase (that’s us) and Vlambase (the merch company).

*spots Jeanine in the chat* “Jeanine’s the Real Vlam. We had fun shooting together today. They said they needed to get better focus on Vlam, and nobody knew which one they were talking about because Jeanine and I had a scene together.”

“Tyler? Guys, does anyone see him? Get in here, Tyler.” *looks straight into the camera*

“Oh, he requested, there he is.” *keeps walking around his house until Tyler pops up on screen eventually*

V “Ohhhhh, there he is!”

T “I was listening to you saying ‘where is he?’ And I was like ‘I’m here, I’ve requested you already’.”

V “A lot of people requesting. You’re very popular.”

T “Yeah, that’s why.”

Both zoom in on the merch they’re wearing. Vlamis the black MALEX hoodie, Tyler the black COSMIC hoodie. Tyler’s also wearing a MALEX hat tho.

V “Whose handwriting do you like better?”

T “Honestly, yours reminds me of the writing from FRIENDS, the show, FRIENDS.”

V “That’s right, you told me that before. I love that.”

T “I don’t really have a favorite. I think we’re unique in our own way.”

V “I like yours.”

T “You do?”

V “Yeah, like it’s prettier, dude.” *drinks more Mountain Dew

T “No, yours is nice.” *nods to show the MALEX hat* “That’s yours, right?”

V “Yeah, that’s me.”

Vlamis explains, that they both tried different versions of MALEX and COSMIC in their respective handwriting and ultimately settled on what’s been released (with the help of Jesa).

V “3 minutes in, do we have enough people? Oh, lots of friends here.”

T “Jeanine!”

V “We love you, Jeanine!”

V “Oh, Tanner’s up in here. What up, Tanner? Big brother Greg!”

T “Big brother Greg?”

V “Yeah, Tanner’s in there.”

T “All the hearts. Oh yeah, Tanner, my buddy! I thought that was one of your friends from Chi-town”

V “[girl who hugged Vlamis in 6th grade] she says ‘love me some Tyler’ She’s getting in there.”

Vlamis says they have a list of questions, and they want to answer some of them before they talk about anything else.

V “Sounds good?”

T “Hell yeah .”

“Each of you, describe S3 Malex in one word”

T “You go first.”

V “I’m scared to go first.” *another sip of Mountain Dew*

T *perks up* “You’re literally drinking Mountain Dew right now?”

V *cracks up*

T “You remember what I said about your health? And I was like ‘you don’t really drink that shit.’ And you were like *impersonates Vlamis* ’no, no, no’”

V *cracks up some more* “You thought I just got it for the photoshoot.”

T “Yeah.”

V *drinks more Mountain Dew*

T “That’s disgusting!”

V “I know, dude.” *laughs* “You’re like a health freak. But man, it’s diet. It’s diet.”

T *mock relieved* “Oh, good.”

Back to answering questions.

T “So, S3 Malex.”

V “The reason it’s hard is because we only know up to episode 3x06 as of right now. So we don’t even know fully S3 Malex.”

T “Exactly, yeah. I mean, thus far, I would sayyyyy— tension.”

V “Woooow. Okay. I agree. You know what I’m gonna say?”

T “What?”

V “With the tension, I think there’s a hopefulness. So I would say hopeful.”

T *ponders* “Okay. Okay. Now is that you talking about your feelings about Malex?”

V *laughs*

T “Like you’re hopeful?”

V “Yeah, dude. Sometimes I feel bad like just being so about Malex. But— give me Malex or give me death, man. I love Malex.”

T “Hell yeah. I think we’ve gotten some great scenes and then people really respond to them whether they are themselves queer or not and it’s like. If you can speak to people universally like that? That’s incredible.”

V “Yeah, dude. Speaking of that. I think it’s important that we tell everyone… Usually we don’t— I don’t know, guys, if you’ve been paying attention to it in previous drops but we always donated a percentage of our proceeds to a charity. We don’t really announce that because we do that not to tell you guys what we’re doing but because we like to do it. But this drop specifically, it’s important because we’re donating to one of our favorite ones. And I know you’ve worked with them in the past before. So yes, it’s going to be the Trevor Project.”

T “Yeah.”

V “—for this specific drop. They have no idea, it’s not an official partnership or anything but that’s—“

T “That’s our plan.”

V “Yeah, that’s what we’re gonna do.”

They’re moving on to the next question.”

V “What has been our favorite part about putting this merch drop together and whose idea was it?”

T “It was yours.”

V “I think it was Jesa Joy’s idea.”

T “It was Jesa Joy, but between the two of us, it was you coming to me.You and Jesa. Because you’ve been like killing it with all the Vlambase merch and stuff. So it was kind of like the next best thing.”

V “Duuuuude, you— you’re an inspiration for a lot of things, man. A lot of things that I do and Roswell, and like clearly even before this drop with Boys Will Be Boys or just any of these other designs. So this is something we’ve been wanting to do for a long time. Jesa Joy has been wanting to work with you since… I think you commented on a vintage t-shirt she was wearing at a premiere of yours like six years ago. She was like wearing a Nirvana vintage tee and you complimented her on it.”

T “Wait, why is it that this is the first time I’m hearing this story?”

V “I think… I don’t know.”

T “You never told me this.”

V “She probably asked me not to because she’s probably very embarrassed.”

T “No, I love that story! So I commented on a vintage Nirvana shirt.”

V “One of her shirts from her company Blank Clo.”

T “And she was wearing it?”

V “And now you’re making merch with her which is just so sick.”

T “Honestly, she’s truly just the best.”

V “She is a beast. I don’t know how. She doesn’t sleep. I bought her a Nespresso machine for Christmas to keep her—.”

T “You’re enabling her!”

V “I have to, man, someone’s gonna get the work done!”

Both laughing.

V “But yeah, I think my favorite part’s just been working with you, collaborating with an outsider. It’s always me and Jesa so working with you, doing feedback and then probably because we’ve spent so little time with each other - or anyone - during this pandemic, I would say the photoshoot was… We don’t do that anymore, you know.”

T “I know. No, I know. That really was fun. And I just feel like it’s actually kinda— my favorite part is like more general. You and I have been working together as actors but it was fun to work on like a different kind of creative endeavor together, you know what I mean.”

V “Yeah, definitely.”

T “Going back and forth about like colors and like what kind of writing should be on this merch and what about this photo, and you hearing a lot of like ‘no, I have three chins in that photo, so you’re not gonna use that one, buddy.’”

V *cracks up*

V “Nah, dude, you look beautiful, man.You always look good.”

V *pretends to getting hot, fans himself*

V “Jesus, man, every time I talk to you I just get a little worked up. I gotta—“

V *takes off black MALEX hoodie, reveals pink MANESQUEEZE hoodie underneath*

T *laughs and shakes head* “I hate you.”

V “It’s true, I get so hot and— oh, I didn’t realize I have more merch on. I get so hot and bothered every time I’m talking to you.”

T *laughs* “It’s not that cold here. It’s only like 40F(4C) degrees here and you have layers and layer and layers.”

V “Well, the heat’s out, man, the heat’s out, you know.”

T “Oh, in your house? Nice.”

V “No, no, no, it’s not out, dude. You’re just that hot.”

T “Aurora!”

V “Oh, Aurora’s here!”

T *reads from chat* “Malex forever. Tyler’s handwriting!”

T “She likes it better? Is that what she’s saying?”

V “Yeah, she’s a fan.”

T “She’s gem.”

V “She watches Roswell for you to be honest.”

T *laughs*

V “Which is a little weird but that’s fine.”

Next question is also about the merch making process, and they decide they’ve answered that.

V “The collaboration of it all.”

T “Yeah.”

V “What did you say?”

T “I said yeah.”

V “You blowing me a kiss?”

T *cracks up* “No!” *giggles*

V “Man, I’m seeing things that I wanna see. 

Next question “What is your favorite thing about each other?” from a fan from Argentina. 

“I went to Argentina last year. Well, 2019. Big fan.”

T “I’ve never been, I really wanna go.”

V “Oh, you’d love it, dude. Good steak, good wine.”

T “Hell yeah.”

V “It’s all you need. It’s all you need.”

V “Okay, favorite thing about each other? Do you wanna go first or should I?”

T “Ooooooh, that’s a tough one. There’s not a lot to like.” *cracks up* “No, I’m just kidding.”

V “Yeah, right, dude.”

T “No, honestly, I feel like I’ve said this before, actually, in like actual interviews and stuff. But I think like you’re very multi-dimensional. I feel like you can get along with any type of person but it all comes from a very genuine place, and I think that— it’s very familiar and comforting, I think you’re like a really well-rounded guy who’s in touch with every emotion in a very healthy way. In a good way, you know.”

V “I really appreciate that, man. That means a lot to me. I definitely pride myself on being able to connect with people and I enjoy meeting all sorts of different people. Sometimes to the point where I’m like… I feel like we’re so quickly to judge people nowadays. And don’t get me wrong, I judge, too, it’s hard not to. You look at something and you have preconceived ideas, but staying open through the process to meeting them and getting to know them, that’s something else. And the more as I get older, I realize that, dude, like we all have a ton of faults. So we got to be open with that person even though they may believe something that we don’t like. There’s like fifty other things you might like about them, you know?”

T “Totally.”

V “So that’s—“

T “Absolutely. I mean, you don’t have to like everything a person to *like* them, do you know what I mean?”

V “Yeah.”

T “And I feel like, the things that we don’t like in other people, are usually things that remind us of the things we don’t like about ourselves. So, in a way it’s like a mirror, you have to kind of look at that.”

V “Dude, yes. So, I will say two things I love most about you. I would say number one: your openness. And that goes with: you always say what you’re thinking - at least to me, right?”

T *nods*

V “Like, you always say what you think, you always say what you feel. And I think that goes along with how much of an empath you are. I mean, dude, I’ve said that before but that’s why some of our scenes are my most favorite is because one of the most easiest people I’ve ever worked with. Dude, I look inside you, I know you’re *genuine*, man. And that comes with you being open and available. And, I don’t know if a lot of people know it, they must, but—“

T “I’m nervous.”

V “You have a sick, twisted sense of humor, just like me!”

They’re both cracking up.

V “A lot of people might not know that.”

T “I accept that, I accept that. I do feel though that you bring it out in me. I feel like we can just “bro down” a little bit. As lame as that is to say. You bring it out in me. It’s obviously there, not everybody sees it, but you can bring it out in me.”

V “There’s nothing wrong with a little bro-ing down, dude, we’re not that pretentious where you can’t be a little bit of a bro.”

T “Nah.” *changes topic* “Ashley Benson just did these hands [in the chat].”

V “Wow, is she trying to come for our love right now?”

T “Probably. But dude, our love was first. Haleb was first before Malex. So step down.”

V “You can never beat a first love. So—“ *raises Mountain Dew can* “Ashley, this Mountain Dew’s to you. *guzzles down fluid toxic waste* “Thanks for joining!”

T *smiles* “Yeah. I love you, Ashley. Miss you.”

V “Okay, so one more question. Oh, this is a good one. From aimz_623, what up, aimz... Oh, I know who this is! Because I did a meet & greet last year with her, and she was hammered at like 11 in the morning in Australia.”

T *cracks up*

V “Drinking like a blue slurpy drink. It was awesome! Okay, she said ‘Are the meet & greets joint or individual?’”

Neither says anything for a moment, waiting for the other to talk. Vlamis breaks first.

“Well, joint!”

*both cracking up*

T “I was like ‘am I gonna answer that?’ Yes, they are joint. We’re gonna be together.”

V *nods* “We’re gonna be together.”

T “Not even like this [in two separate places like during the IG live]. We’re gonna be in person together in the same room.”

V “You’re gonna be next to me in bed. Oh, well, next to me.”

T “Yeah, yeah. In the bathtub.”

V *cracks up* “In the bathtub. No mask?”

T “With mask, but that’s it.”

V “You like it with the mask?”

T “We’re gonna do mask and nothing else.”

V *cracks up*

T 😏

V “See, dude, you are sick!”

T “Maybe a few rubber duckies to hide some things.”

V “Dude, all this talking, man.I’m just so hot.” *takes off pink MANESQUEEZE sweater, he’s wearing the MALEX FOREVER t-shirt underneath* “Sorry about that.”

T “I just want everybody to know that he told me he was going to do this shtick.”

V *doubles over laughing*

T “I just want everybody to know that this is pre-planned. He’s a great actor but he just wants to show off as much merch in one live as possible.”

V “Sorry, dude. You know how it goes.” *pretends to take off t-shirt* No, no more!”

T “Nooo!”

V “I can’t put anything else under here. Oh guys, I’ve been messing around with one of our MALEX LOVE INTENTION candles. I’ve been messing with people and how it smells on Twitter, saying that it smells like vanilla bean and just basically you, and your body, you know.”

T “Me?”

V “Yeah, and your armpits. But what it really smells like is crème brûlée with a hint of jasmine.”

T “So, my body. 😏”

V “Basically your body. After a good wash, dude. Not my body. My body’s disgusting.”

T “You have a good smell, actually, I’ve told you this before. You have a good smell, and I don’t know if it’s like the shampoo you use, it’s *something*. But there’s like a natural— like, I’ve never smelled that on anybody else, and I don’t know what it is. But you do have a good smell.”

V while Tyler’s talking: 😊

V “You mean it’s good?”

T “Yeah! Yes, absolutely.”

V “My guy, dude.”

T “You never even had bad breath during kissing scenes in the past, I don’t understand. You look homeless a lot, but you like you don’t smell it.”

V “My character is homeless, basically.”

T “Yeah, he is. He’s literally always dirty. Physically dirty.”

V “One time I ate like a chicken salad before one of those scenes and then we had to do a quick scrub but most of the time we’re pretty good.”

T “Oh yeah, but we put a mint or some shit like that in the mouth.”

V “Remember when I was doing keto, though, and I was eating all the bagged tuna?”

T “First of all, never talk about that again. That was disgusting.”

V *cracks up*

T “That was disgusting. You ate *bagged* tuna.”

V “Yeah, that was messed up, man.”

T “My doctor told me that tuna has the highest level of mercury in it and we shouldn’t eat it.”

V “Well, that’s what— I mean. Jeremy Piven, I heard he got mercury poison one time, from eating too much sushi.”

T “Probably.”

V “Too much tuna, man. If you wanna be like Jeremy Piven, eat a lot of tuna, guys.”

T “Hell yeah.”

V “No, nobody wants to be like… Anyway. So, another question. Do the sweatpants have pockets? Believe it or not, this is very hard.”

T “Hi, Carly! My cousin Carly just came on. Remember, you met her on set that one time. ”

V “Oh, she came and visited.”

T “Yeah, she just said hi.”

V “When your mom was in town, too.”

T “Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

V *waves at camera* “Hi, Carly!”

T “Was that last year? Yeah, that was last year. Anyway, sorry. Sweatpants!”

V “No, no, it’s good. We have to say hi to the people that support us. I appreciate that. But no, sweatpants, do they have pockets.”

*explains why it’s hard (and expensive) to offer sweatpants with pockets, so sweatpants from this drop don’t have pockets, but they’re working on offering that in the future*

T “But like a lot of these sweatshirts have pockets. Like this has—” *shows his COSMIC hoodie’s front pocket*

V “Oh yeah, we got those. One hundred percent. And there’s a big mix and everything. Uhm, also because it’s a pandemic, it’s a lot of the colors, the sizes, they’re so hard to find. And normally, we don’t really buy—in the past, we hadn’t bought a lot of merch upfront, we waited to see what kind of things you guys ordered and liked and then we made our orders. Now, I’ve been putting money upfront to purchase merch, that’s why stuff’s selling out so quickly. So a lot of it is really “limited edition”. So tomorrow at 10.30am PST when it launches, if you want something, grab it, because it might go quickly, and I’ll feel bad, if you don’t get it. Okay, and the last thing, this isn’t even a question, I just have a note for it because I’m excited about it. Everyone who’s ordered before knows that the first hundred who order, always get a little surprise in their package. And this time, it’s a picture, a Polaroid of us, and we will both be signing it. Isn’t that right?” 

T “We will.”

V “I’ll have a lot of them and put them up in my trailer, around the candle.”

T *cracks up*

V “It’s gonna be real nice.😏” 

T “Yeah.”

V “Okay, what do you think. Should we tell everyone how they can win a meet & greet?”

T “Yeah.”

V “I don’t think we missed anything, right? I think we did it all.” *guzzles last sip of Mountain Dew*

T *ponders* “Yeah, I think we did. I think we’re good.”

V “Okay, meet & greet time, guys.” 

Vlamis explains how people can win a meet & greet. Find a pic on the Vlambase account and a comment that says “Meet & Greet” and the first person to reply to that comment with the name of the band and the song that was playing during Malex’s first kiss at the UFO Emporium in 1x06 wins.

V “[The song] It’s a favorite one of mine.”

T “Oh, it’s so good!”

V “So good!”

T “So nostalgic for me, too.”

V “A hundred percent, man. I actually just watched that scene right before we jumped on here. Is that strange that I watch scenes of us all the time?”

T “I got to go.”

*both cracking up*

V “Ashley, you still here?”

T “Yeah, I gotta hit up Ashley. No, it’s not, I think it’s cute. It’s cute and that’s sweet.”

V “My guy, dude.”

T “So, that was kind of a lengthy scavenger hunt [for the meet & greet].” *explains once more how to win a m&g* 

T “We’ve been on this for a while now, and we still have over a thousand people here.”

V “I know, it’s really cool. That’s definitely the most people I’ve ever spoken to live.”

T *laughs*

V “I think so.”

T “Maybe.”

V “Find the photo, find the Vlambase comment. You’ll know the comment when you see it, you have to search through. Comment, name the band, and then name the song that played during Malex’s first museum kiss. We were so nervous, dude.”

T “🤨”

V “We were so young.”

T “Oh, you mean in real life or in the show?”

V “In the show.”

T “Oh yeah. That was fun, though. That was fun bringing up those emotions, though.”

V “Sometimes I can’t tell the difference between real life and the show.”

T “I know. We’re just *that* method.”

V *cracks up*

V “Dude, so, yeah, 10.30am PST tomorrow. michaelvlamis.com, everything’s going to be live. If you guys have any other questions, I don’t know.”

T “I’m also gonna have the link in my bio of my instagram.”

V “Oh yes, I will do that, too. I always have it in there, though. I’m a narcissist.”

T *laughs*

V “So, anyway, people are saying “I’m confused”. No, they’re not. I think people understood.”

T “Someone else says “what does the comment say”?”

V “The comment says “Meet & Greet”.”

T “And that’s all that it says? Just “Meet & Greet”?”

V “And it says “Be the first to reply”.”

T “Oh, okay.”

V “So, you have to reply directly to that comment, and you got to say the name of the band, name of the song playing during Malex’s first kiss in the museum. Find the comment on one of the random pictures of clothing that was posted today on the vlambase instagram.”

T “We couldn’t let you guys get off easy, you know.”

V “Oh my god, the other vlambase account just said it’s already answered.”

T “😮”

V “So, it’s over guys, sorry. Aww, littlecupcake just said “I lost already.” Sorry, littlecupcake.”

T “Is that someone you know?”

V “No, but I know littlecupcake because I did a live once, and she tried to request to come in and talk to me, and it said that for everyone else who’s seen her screen it said that she was waiting for me to accept but on my screen it wasn’t showing up, so I feel bad about littlecupcake.”

T “Well, we shouted her out big time. Are we sure it’s a she? Maybe it’s a he?”

V “I think it’s a she.”

T “Okay, well, either way.”

V “Dude, you’re working tomorrow, aren’t you?”

T “Yeah.”

V “Then I’ll see you next week.”

T “Yeah, you will.”

V “We’ll be on set together.”

T “Yeah, we will.”

V “Gonna be nice.”

T “Next Tuesday.”

V “I gotta do extra Covid testing because it’s a close contact.”

T “*inhales* I know. I did mine today.”

V “Ooof, we’re gonna be so close.”

T “So close, yet so far.”

V “Alright, dude, get some rest. I’m excited for tomorrow. I love you, man, talk to you later. Thanks everybody for joining!”

T “Thanks so much for coming on, guys!”

V “Alright, see ya.”

T “Bye!”

V “Bye, guys.”

[yaz-the-spaz]

So I’m new to the Ziam fandom, I’m a strong larrie but I also couldn’t help to notice that there was something between Z*yn and L*am too. Could you tell me about the tiger tattoo? I keep hearing that its an iconic Ziam tattoo and I’m a little confused. Also, do you think Ziam is still together right now in 2020 and could you explain why? I hope this isn’t a bother.

hey nonnie, welcome to this side of the fandom! and please don’t worry, you are not a bother at all, and we are always happy to have new members! please accept this adorable gif of ziam waving hello as your welcoming gift into the ziam fandom lol! 😊🌈

now onto your question about the tiger tattoo...

hooo boy, nonnie

 idk if you know what you’re asking because this is a BIG life-altering question.

BIG.

...are you ready for this? 

are you ready to die? are you ready to have your soul ascend from your body up to the gay ziam heavens for all eternity? 

i mean it’s pretty nice up here and all but you may just wanna get your affairs in order before you continue, cause once you discover all the ways zayn javadd malik has professed his undying and eternal love for liam james payne all over his goddamn body there is no coming back.

are you absolutely sure you’re ready?

ok, here we go!

so. once upon a time way back in october 2013 zayn debuted a new tattoo of a tiger on his arm. at the time it seemed like just another tattoo in a quickly growing long list of (random) tattoos, and went by relatively untalked about among fandom (at least afaik) for a couple of years. but THEN, in early 2016 zayn followed that tattoo up with the addition of the full title of his m.o.m. album spelled out around the tiger...

seems normal, right?

first off, notice how the tiger’s tail is shaped suspiciously like an L?

well, that’s not all that’s gay i mean odd or interesting about this tattoo lol...some have also noticed that the muscles of the tiger’s back quite remarkably appear to resemble the muscles of a certain boy whose name also starts with L 

(and no i’m not talking about louis lol)

but here’s where shit really gets real because guess what? you may have noticed that the letters of the ‘mine’ part are kind of shuffled in an odd/not really consecutive order to spell out the word mine in a way that’s clearly or easily readable...that’s because zayn’s extra ass arranged it specifically so that only the i, e, and m, are all directly around the L-shaped tiger tail, while the n is just off to the side like a lonely forgotten reject

by now you might be saying to yourself okay, well that’s not really all that significant to liam, and the L could just be a coincidence/not really mean anything, couldn’t it?

wrong again!

because once more, zayn ‘i live to be as extra as humanly possible about my love for liam james payne because i don’t know any other way to live’ malik made sure to put a little tail/extra line on the side of the letter ‘e’ to make it interchangeable with an upside down letter ‘a.’ 

now again you might be thinking i don’t know if that’s really intentional or all that meaningful. but look closely. 

there is clearly an additional connected piece on that e that cannot be explained away or mistaken for just a weird blot of ink. it’s not just an error on the part of the tattoo artist (if it was i’m sure zayn would have had it fixed by now given that he’s had that tat for over 4 years at this point) and there’s also no letter ‘a’ in ‘mind of mine.’ 

so why is it there? and why does it just so happen to be right next to the i, the m, and the L-shaped tiger tail. why did zayn choose to arrange the letters of the word ‘mine’ in such a weird order instead of a more normal/easier to read format like the rest of the album title? and why did he choose put those exact letters all near each other? because it’s intentional. and because it’s meant to have a very particular double meaning.

if he was going for just a random order he could’ve put those letters anywhere. but he didn’t. and more than that he went out of his way to make sure that that additional piece on the e was added and distinct so that it could very clearly double as an (unnecessary) a. 

there’s no way you can argue that all of those things are just coincidence or that the random letter ‘a’ means absolutely nothing lol. that tattoo was clearly meant as both an homage to the album and to liam (who the album is largely believed to be about lol). and the fact that the muscles seem to match quite closely to liam’s is a nice added bonus that just helps confirm that imo. (plus there’s also the lovely little tidbit of knowledge that the tattoo is positioned in such a way that whenever zayn wears short-sleeve shirts the ‘Liam’ part is the only part clearly on display 😏😏😏)

BUT GUESS WHAT??

THAT IS NOT EVEN WHERE ZAYN’S TATTOO DEDICATIONS ENDDDD

never mind that he already had all of us ziams sobbing ourselves to death and morphing into withered soulless husks over this tattoo after he debuted the full thing in 2016, but there’s so! many! more!

boy’s body is literally a giant ass open love letter to liam and i am NOT OKAY. (have i mentioned i hate these extra ass romantic saps with every fiber of my being? no? well i do. and you’re about to find out all the reasons why)

reason #1 - all. the. goddamn. mandala. tattoos. (there are multiple but i’m only linking to this post featuring/talking about the main one, i.e. the very first one he got cause that’s the one that kills me the most but if you wanna see the others peep my ziam tattoos tag or my zayn’s tattoos tag)

reason #2 - love & marriage poem tattoo (read all the posts in this tag starting from the bottom first for full context)

reason #3 - red wolf & bat wings chest tattoo

reason #4 - wolf leg tattoo (more background details here too)

reason #5 - liam’s silhouette leg tattoo

reason #6 - smoking lips hand tattoo (which literally matches the album art for liam’s debut single exactly and was debuted on zayn’s hand months before the single’s release - scroll down to the part where you can see the red lip pics)

reason #7 - the snake tattoo (aka the snake habitat tattoo)

reason #8 - motherfuckin 25!! idk what it means but it clearly means SOMETHING important to the both of them and it still drives me insane to this day and probably will to my dying breath 🤬 

bonus - it’s not a tattoo but: zayn’s nose piercing. which along with the mandala wrist tat is literally a desi bride declaration of marriage; fun fact - tan france, a gay married british-pakistani tv personality who is part of the queer eye crew also has a mandala tat on his left hand that some have speculated may also be to symbolize his dedication to his husband)

anyway there are more tattoos of zayn’s that seem to also be related to liam (though more loosely imo) but this post is already beyonddd long enough so i figured it’s best to just stick to the main ones/most obvious ones here lol 

(side note: liam also has tattoos that are clearly dedicated to zayn/his and zayn’s relationship as well, but that’s for another post and also if my recall is correct i think zayn might actually have more?? well that we know of anyway lol)

(side note 2.0: one other thing that adds to the theory of the m.o.m. tiger tattoo being a dedication to liam/liam’s name, besides the obvious lettering thing described above, is that zayn is known to have a thing for tattooing the names of his closest loved ones on his body. the only person in his immediate family whose name he doesn’t appear to have tattooed on him is trisha’s and i’d be willing to bet that’s either because she specifically asked him not to, or he does have one but it’s just in a very hidden place. but we know that he has his father’s name, grandfather’s name, and all of his sister’s names tattooed on him so when you combine that with the weird lettering of the m.o.m. tiger tat and the fact that the album was very likely about liam/closely followed the story of the beginning of his relationship with liam, it becomes even less plausible imo that that tattoo is meant to be about anything else but liam. ain’t science grand?)

(side note 3.0: zayn’s whole left arm/left sleeve of tats seems to be specifically reserved for tattoos dedicated to liam and/or related/connected to liam’s own tattoos, and there’s a couple of good posts here - x, x, x, x - that go through some of the more specific parallels between their tattoos and how certain ones seem to mirror or directly pair with each other’s)

ok i promise that’s it for the side notes lol!

lastly, to your final question, i do believe that they are still together currently, especially considering this most recent soft outing/confirmation from one of zayn’s songwriters (who is also not the first to do that either btw lol) but that is not the only reason - see my post here for some of the biggest reasons why i believe ziam remains real and strong :)

[demonbanisher]

Hi, what about: Remus family moved to a remote island after the bite, so Remus didn't go to Hogwarts and has grown up very isolated. Sirius has just graduated from Hogwarts and decides to go travelling around the world.... you can guess the rest ;-)

Hi Nonnie! Thanks for the prompt! This was so much fun to write! Hope you enjoy!

It took months of convincing for Sirius to finally get James to allow him to go alone on this world travelling adventure. It wasn’t that he didn’t love his brother it was just that he had this feeling he need to set out on his own for a bit. Sort through everything he’d been shoving down in his brain all these years. Finally shuck the remainder of his parents’ shadow and find himself at last. 

After three months on the road, Sirius was feeling good and chucked his itinerary on a whim after hearing stories of a small island called Romulus. He didn’t know what but he felt something in himself pulling him there. Maybe it was the rumours that there was some magical about it. Maybe it was something deeper. Either way, Sirius found himself a gruff sailor who agreed to get him there and he was on his way.

Sirius saw the boy his first night there. Standing under the starlight at the edge of the beach like something from the pages of the novel. The moonlight cast a glow over the scars on his face as he skipped stones across the water. He seemed to be looking out at the horizon with a look of longing, a desire for something more that shook something loose in Sirius’ heart. 

After two more weeks of sightings of his mystery stranger, always at night and always from a distance, Sirius finally worked up the courage to go down and meet him at the shore. 

“Are you a vampire?” Sirius asked quietly as he padded across the sand towards him.

“Sorry?” the boy said and Sirius swore he saw something like fear run across his features.

“It’s just you never sleep.”

The boy scooped up another stone and sent it flying over the water where it skipped once, twice, three times before disappearing. “I don’t always get to enjoy the moonlight,” he said.

“Ah, a werewolf then,” Sirius teased.

But something in the boys features crumpled. 

“It’s alright,” Sirius assured him. “I don’t care and you don’t have to worry about me telling anyone.”

The boy looked at him baffled, “Your... your...”

“A wizard,” Sirius supplied. “Been travelling.”

“And you’re not scared of me?” he asked, looking out at the water to avoid Sirius’ gaze.

“I’ve met scarier things in my life than moonlight drenched boys who look at the horizon like it’s their lifeline.”

He smiled at that and Sirius’ found himself wishing he’d worked up the courage to come out here sooner. 

“What’s your name?”

“Remus.”

“You’re shitting me.”

“What?”

“You’re a werewolf. Your name is Remus. And you live on an island called Romulus.”

Remus met Sirius’ gaze intently as he spoke, “Can you keep a secret?”

“Of course,” Sirius told him.

“This island’s actually a safe haven for werewolves, founded by a pack years ago,” he wrenched his eyes away from Sirius as he skipped another rock. “I got bit when I was a kid. My parents dragged us all out here, figured it was safer for me.”

“Do you remember the mainland?” Sirius asked.

“Bits and pieces. Don’t think I’m not grateful to be here I am. The people are lovely and the food is amazing but somedays I just feel...”

“Trapped?” Sirius supplied.

“Exactly. I mean there’s only so much to do here. I remember the rumble of trains or meadows that felt like they went on for forever. Here, your choices are limited. I’ve never gotten to visit a huge library, or attend school. I’ve never got to go to a big sporting event or even have my haircut by someone who isn’t my mom. Most people get bitten when they’re older so there aren’t many people my age around here. No one to play with. No one to stay up late listening to music with and talking about everything. No one to kiss.” Remus blushed a bit once he’d realized what he said and busied himself with looking for more stones. “Sorry, I’m talking too much.”

“It’s okay,” Sirius said, reaching for his arm to hold him in place. Remus seemed to freeze grounded by the feeling of Sirius’ hand on his skin. “I wouldn’t trust me to give you a haircut unless you want to end up bald. But I can help you with some of those other things.”

“Oh yeah,” Remus said, standing toe to toe with him now. “Like what?”

“Like this,” Sirius said and leaned down and kissed him softly, wanting to leave him with a gentle promise and not overwhelm him. 

Remus pulled back for a moment and looked a little taken aback.

“What did you say your name was again?”

“I didn’t. But it’s Sirius, like the star.”

Remus cast a quick glance skyward and Sirius followed his gaze. When Remus looked back down again he was smiling, and he leaned forward and pulled Sirius’ lips against his again.