#i am miserable and trying not to cry | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

battywitch · 15 days ago

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I think I officially Need™️ a corset

#i can't handle underwire anymore. lacy shit makes me feel like I'm being grated #bralettes are almost exclusively intended for very small cup volume #sports bras are almost entirely still that godsforsaken racerback bullshit that's been known to be bad for neck etc for 15+ years #and those pullover bralette kinda things that are like descendants of the genie bra #do not support these bitches and they're not even all that big anymore #like. a 32e-f is not too hefty but i can not get adequate support without feeling like I'm dying #from the underwire etc of ''real'' bras. which also are worse on my ribs. ESPECIALLY when all my connective tissue goes extra wonky #but the pullover bras are ALSO not great on my ribs AND they feel like sandpaper after 3ish washes AND they pull on my shoulders so bad #like. i feel like they're trying to fold me in half. it's SO hard to stand up straight after wearing one for more than 15 minutes #and they put so much pressure on my shoulders and neck #i am almost guaranteed to get a migraine if i wear one for more than 30 minutes #and if i already have a migraine they will make it worse #it feels like I'm being sanded and slowly folded and like the edges are trying to carve me up #i am miserable and trying not to cry

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gentlefangz · 14 days ago

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all of the new journal entries fuckkk i love it!!

#no im Not crying over tptm again now that its over what are you talking about!!. okay yes i am.#final song is making me kinda realize i dont have to be miserable and maybe i should try something new. maybe.#matthew.txt #dogman movie is next month too this is great #tptm #the post traumatic manifesto

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skunkes · 3 months ago

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the bad: i have been raised without much warmth from my parents in childhood, but also pressured to conform to familial authority, doubt myself always, and value familial connections above all else (<- failed at this, and feel guilt about it.)

but also in experiencing this i have been so isolated from the entire rest of the world and others, that it will be nearly impossible to create my own "family" -> find safety and comfort in anybody else once my family is Gone. despite dis i find it really difficult to break away from the familiar, disobey and disappoint, because, well, why are my wishes more important than anybody else's. why would I cause upset and distress in anybody, and exert so much effort into my doubt filled half decisions, for my meaningless little Wishes. being away would also mean less time with these people who I'll never see again once they're gone. being raised this way is definitely paying off for those who did so.

the good: yaaaay adjacent inspiration for writing talon lore

#talkys #my dad scaring me but also giving me no advice on what to do instead only saying if i do this it will be the wrong choice leading #to more wrong choices well yep you got me i am scared. i am inept. i fear regret and punishment for wrong decisions.#i struggle to make decisions because i cant go back on them.#''ill never have savings again'' and ''you cant value friends over family they'll abandon you''#and ''living here is only a problem for you because you dont communicate. there is a way to work things out''#i wish i could work it out and stay i dont know why i cant work it out ! and what do i want #to leave so badly for... to continue to never have stable housing #never have savings again? be alone and in danger?#to be able to wear whatever i want and...buy things? really? that doesnt seem very worth it #nothing seems very worth it #im miserable here but maybe i'd be more miserable away...it is true #well at least the chances to leave are very slim. and will continue to get slimmer the more time passes.#but maybe its fine i dont want to ruin my life or be even more of a burden or reason for distress in someone else's #moving out wouldnt fix anything. wherever you go there you are.#my friend said i have to be a little selfish (positive) to push myself to leave. bt i dont want to be selfish. im ashamed of that as a trai #delete later #even now i feel immense guilt and stress when my dad does things that hurt or bother me bc i know ill miss him when he's gone.#(and ill have nobody after all of that. due to the being kept in a cage)#that sucks. why does everyone else always win. why am i always the weakest pliable one. i wish i had no emotions #my surgery is the only decision in my life ive been 100% sure on for years #and even then my parent's words had me crying and rapidly changing emotions daily until the day came #im not strong enough or sure enough about anything else to withstand More of that #<- and i know that tomorrow im gonna be like actually you know what who cares lets try to leave #and the next day ill be resigned to staying here forever #and the next day ill be like actually you know what who cares l

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thediaryofcrowmartin · 5 months ago

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Jorja try not to cry challenge

Bc they're doing Les Mis at my local theater in November and I can't go bc I don't have enough money for tickets 😭

GO

#les mis #les miserables #I am SO BUMMED #Jorja try not to cry challenge GO

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coridallasmultipass · 26 days ago

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Vent/grief

#hhhhh it always feels weird going into the notes on an old post and seeing a person i knew who passed away #like just a random old fandom post #we werent close but like. it was nice always seeing that person at meetups and feeling welcomed by them #(since i was the newcomer there for college)#i was miserable but i still really miss that time in my life and think about all the ppl i met there all the time #fuck im crying lol i wish id been better friends with literally anyone there but especially that person too #fucking social anxiety and people dying young and moving back and forth from college ugh #i wish i did a ton of things differently #i hate not being an outgoing social person #but thats how my family raised me - to be introverted and quiet bc im the weird one in this stupid rural town back at home #i had a taste at freedom and all i did was take a sip rather than the whole drink #its really hard looking back and judging myself tho bc i know i was really going through a lot w mental and physical health #but if i knew it was only going to get worse i wouldve pushed myself harder #i miss that person and everyone else i met there and its hard feeling like im not allowed to grieve for a person i hardly knew #i always feel like an outsider no matter where i am or the people im around #i dont have history with anyone so its like. how tf do u start over new when everyone else already knows each other #all the small moments of momentarily feeling like a part of a group meant so much to me #anyway im ugly crying now i gotta try to do something else #vent #personal #delete later / /#ShitPost.exe

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ranger-danger · 2 months ago

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Talking about stardew valley romances is so awkward. My friends are like “oh I love [every single guy, and Haley, but Alex]” and I have to go “oh I like Alex and Maru the most.”

#lots of love to the other guys #but like #idk Alex is chill #he’s like ‘hey what’s up’ and then the relationship builds up at a pace I’m comfortable with #it’s the same reason my main bg3 romances are Shads and Gale #they’re literally just like ‘hey you want to hang out’#a similar reason why I love Neera’s romance so much in bg1ee #yeah there is a semi mutual crush pretty early on #but it’s not like you’re jumping super far ahead and it paces like a normal relationship #or at least every relationship I’ve ever had #stardew valley #is way better at building up romances and relationships than bg3 and many other games to be fair #personally Elliot if my last romance of the men #I’m sorry I want to punch him #idk if maru is a common romance or not #I see way more people talk about the bachelors #I like her because I am also a man of science #or at least I try my best to be #I’m kinda dumb at very specific kinds of math #and idk how to explain it #it’s like every other kind of mathematics my brain can’t handle #especially if two math concepts are similar or interconnected #I’m fucked if it’s that #I try though #fail miserably but I try #and cry over it #really nothing gets me quicker to crying even in front of people (]>*#(which is a sin to me)#than failing miserably at math #anyways I’m off topic

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byanyan · 10 months ago

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byan absolutely coating themself in body glitter to cheer themself up when they're sad, send post

#something something 'if i'm stunning and sparkly enough no one can see how depressed i am'#it's a similar flavour of denial to their 'if i wear enough eyeliner no one can tell i've been crying'#they...... cope a lot while they're miserable thru making themself look cute #if they feel cute enough nothing can touch them... not the depths of their own despair and certainly not the consequences of their actions #ok ok the day has gotten away from me... it's been a Weird one... but i'm gonna try to get at least some writing out this evening #━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don't @ me.

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the-potato-beeper · 3 months ago

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i wish my parents weren't transphobic

#key speaks #fuck #just...#ugh #i'm a fun combo of furious and miserable right now #i'm out at the university now #but not to them #and i think my mom would try #but i don't know about my dad #and they're misgendering my cousin #they/them pronouns are NOT that FUCKING hard #and god #i just want them to fucking accept me for who i am #things will probably be fine if i come out #but i don't WANT to have to come out for them to STOP BEING BIGOTED ASSHOLES #i'm going to SCREAM and also cry

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rolandkaros · 3 months ago

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hate my living situation i have to say.

#im trying so fucking hard to be okay with it.#but i get home every day and i just want to cry #i wanna move so fucking bad but that makes things so much more complicated #there’s not guarantee if i moved im going to get another room this nice #i dont want to be someone who just complains up and down but it just sucks #im pushing myself so far out of my comfort zone already is it really so much to ask that i feel comfortable IN MY ROOM. WITH THE DOOR SHUT.#im trying really hard i swear. i swear i am trying. i am trying.#but i just feel so stressed and miserable #idk man. just complaining #i should get over myself

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hazzabeeforlou · 4 months ago

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.

#I don’t know who’s up but I’m in the vet ER with my #dog #my parents took her on a walk and she hate some presuably marajuana #she’s not severe but also not mild #they’re now giving her lipids because she isn’t imroving #I’ve never seen her so scared and miserable and I’m in a fucking new country and everything has been stressful as fuck #and string broke during our first concert #and I’ve lost two things in the last three days I’ve never lost before #and I’m just sitting here at 2 am crying because I was trying to give her a better life here and this can’t be the end can it?#please god no

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apathyfairy · 1 year ago

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you are either a girl who is miserable and sad on her birthday or a girl who loves her birthday and there is no in between and neither group will ever understand the other

#obviously i am part of the first group and like it just makes me sad. like with every passing year i’m just like ok. well i super have #nothing to show for this past year or my age and i just hate everyone acting like i’m worth something or worth still being alive #so when the 3 family members i have are like yaaay happy birthdayyyy i’m like ok thanks but i should have died a long time ago #like there’s just nothing to celebrate like i’m not proud of who i am or that i exist u know what i mean? like i think i cracked it i think #that’s why i hate my birthday and so i like to just be alone and do alone things and cry if i want to or usually i just drive around and #sing along to sad music in the car and just wait it out u know #like i fully just let myself be as miserable as i want like that’s my gift to myself #but this year it’s on a saturday and so my mom is like what do u wanna do let’s do something fun and every year it’s always the same bc i’m #miserable beyond belief and she’s trying to hype me and it ends up with her getting mad at me bc i’m such a miserable downer fuck up and #it’s like great i can’t wait. it’s so pathetic to complain about birthdays we all have them we all get old whatever but it’s just like #genuinely u should be able to just skip it if u arent feeling it and everyone should respect that

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andromeda3116 · 7 months ago

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i have had the worst fucking time getting this fucking sinus infection under control it's been two goddamned weeks and every little thing that can go wrong has gone wrong because the first antibiotic just didn't work because the bacteria is probably just resistant to it i probably just need a different antibiotic and two condescending-ass doctors refused to listen to that and told me to rest and hydrate more even though i've been doing nothing but those things for two goddamned weeks and i finally find a doctor who will give me the prescription and it goes to the wrong pharmacy by accident and that one isn't open on sundays so i go to it this morning and for some fucking reason they don't have fucking amoxi-fucking-cillin in stock (amoxicillin! basic-ass fucking antibiotic!) and i have to go to my usual pharmacy to get it but they say it'll be an hour and a half and i finally get the notification that it's ready and i get to the pharmacy one! fucking!! minute!!! after they close the window for lunch and i want to cry i am struggling not to pass out in a fucking walgreens because i've had to jump through a week-long fucking GAUNTLET when i am completely drained of energy and can barely walk and what the fuck universe what the fuck did i do

i just need amoxicillin

please why can i not get the fucking amoxicillin

please

#i want to cry this has been so miserable #i've missed two weeks of work and i'll get paid for about three days of it because i was already wiped out of pto #this has been horrible and draining and exhausting and on top of it all the bf had to leave the country for a business trip #so he can't help me do all this shit anymore i have to drag myself up and drain myself out #i am legitimately trying not to burst into tears at this walgreens right now

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girlivealwaysbean · 5 months ago

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okay ventpost time im bored and my period is late