#i am lucky to be back on this site
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rumandstars · 1 year ago
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my sleeping medication has me GOOFY
i love y'all on here. rays of light, the lot of you <3
if you're reading this, thanks for being you!
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collar-shocked · 10 months ago
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//Great time to remind everyone IF YOU ARE UNDER THE AGE OF 18, YOU SHOULD BE NOWHERE NEAR HERE. You're only a kid for so long, you get to be an adult forever. MAKE IT LAST. FRIGGIN' WAIT TO ENGAGE IN CONTENT LIKE THIS.
//No one can protect you if you refuse to let them. These games and this fandom and content have 18+ tags on them for a REASON, and it's to PROTECT YOU. You're not cool, you're not edgy, you're not special, you're not grown up for ignoring warning signs that are set there to KEEP YOU FROM HARM, you're just an idiot for exposing yourself to that ON PURPOSE.
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americanphancakes · 1 year ago
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I wanna talk about my mind for a little bit
I was gonna save this until after I posted the last Wingless Angel chapter but I can’t post it yet. Pretty sure my mind wants me to get this out of my system first.
So hi everyone, how are you? How have you been? Honestly if you’re still following at all I’m delighted.
I don’t want this to come across as some excuse for all the unfinished fanfic I left behind 3+ years ago, which is why I wanted to publish WA first, so I hope you don’t take it that way. But I ended up stumbling upon an aspect of my mental health that I’m still trying to address and since I never really saw anyone post or talk about my particular issue before very recently, I wanted to share it in case it resonates with anyone.
(Clearly stuff has changed, this is where I'd normally put a "read more" but.... I guess that's not a thing anymore?? Hopefully this isn't a huge annoying wall of text on everyone's dash, oof.)
I’ve posted before about my ADHD. I’ve been getting treatment for it for 10 years now, and for all that time, medication & other coping mechanisms have been helpful to a point, but only to a point. There was still something left that was keeping me from functioning, and I couldn’t tell what it was. All I knew was that I had no will of my own, and I’d spent the last 10 years trying to create situations where the people in charge were asking (or implying that i should do) things I considered good to do. “People in charge” meant anyone besides myself. If someone was not me, they automatically had authority, simply by virtue of being someone external to me.
I did a lot of research trying to find something that matched up with my experiences & feelings, even partially, and I looked into things like PDA autism and even just the people-pleasing habits common with other ADHD folks.
At some point, with therapy, I did learn how to say “no” to other people’s demands of me. I learned to set boundaries. But I was still profoundly uncomfortable with dictating what I was going to do, especially if anyone else was ever going to be aware of it.
When I was a little kid, i was told “no” constantly, and that’s not hyperbole. I’ve cited the story many times of falling in love with the violin when I was 9 but immediately being told “No, you’re going to play the flute.” So I played the flute, but without any passion for it I couldn’t figure it out and I quit, and my mom never stopped making me feel guilty about it. But that wasn’t the only example of that kind of thing. I wanted to play soccer; mom said play basketball, so I played basketball. I wanted to play piano; mom bought me a guitar and my sister got the electronic keyboard. (We eventually switched, but I never felt like I could fully commit to playing the thing). I wanted to learn Spanish or Japanese in high school; mom told me to learn French, so I took four fucking years of French.
My feelings and wishes were effectively not a factor in what I was allowed to do, what goals I was allowed to pursue, unless I was staying in my room and out of everyone’s way (and even then I had to make sure I jumped up to do what was asked of me if I got called from another room). Eventually I learned, as a survival mechanism, to just obey. It wasn’t worth fighting anymore because I was systematically robbed of my individuality at every turn. Something happened when I was 13 that I will never talk about publicly and she played "good parent who has her kid's back" for about 5 minutes before siding with the bad guy. I brought it up years later and she was mad I'd never gotten over it. And all that is on top of being raised to be a "good little capitalist drone" who needs to be perfect and efficient at all times. I was never supported. I was never given grace. So I never gave grace to myself, because if your own parents don't give you grace & time to learn and be flawed, then clearly you don't deserve any, right?
I finally cut my mother out of my life not long after the pandemic began, a few months after having gone no-contact from my father (mostly due to his casual racism & transphobia, which cost me at least one very close friendship when I was a kid, and was unkind to my child in a way I could not abide). My immediate family - spouse and kid - are the only family I have left now. And it sounds tragic on paper, because it is, but until I finally got away from my mother's voice in real life I couldn't filter through the recordings of her voice in my mind so I could finally throw them away. And that knot is still being untied. Honestly this is 10 years into a very long mental health journey, when you think about it, but I wish I'd cut my mom out of my life a very very long time ago. I wasn't angry about lost time when I got my ADHD diagnosis. I was angry about it when I realized that yes, this had been abuse, and I hadn't been courageous enough to get away from it sooner.
Because that dehumanization resulted in me having no will power of my own, and that extended as far as simply not wanting anything anymore. I like things, sure, but anything I WANTED for myself was out of the question, especially if it involved other people in any way, but honestly even solo pursuits became impossible for me to will myself to do. For right now, when I have something I want to do, I'm telling my friends & husband to order me to do it. Because I won't do it otherwise. And it's a potentially dangerous workaround, but it's all I have for now. I and my therapist are hoping that once my brain registers that what other people are telling me to do is aligned with what I want to do, maybe it won't depend on other people's commands anymore and I'll just take control of my own life for once. But that may not work. I'll have to wait and see.
So what does this have to do with my abandoned fics? Well, it had started to become more difficult to write because the adhd "shinyness" was wearing off anyway, but I'd been doing a good job of pushing past it because people liked what I was writing. I could see my skill getting better, and engagement was going up, and that was really motivating. But then... I stopped writing fic all of a sudden because someone made a post about finding it shitty when writers wrote about COVID in their fics, and.... that was sort of a last straw that broke me, because I do exactly that in the last WA chapter. So I just turned tail and ran away. I tried to push through and write & publish the chapter anyway, because it was the LAST chapter and I knew people were waiting on it, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Even having OSBB obligations didn't get me writing again, and given that obligation, the shame I felt about not having finished those stories weighed on me so badly that I couldn't even interact with you guys on Instagram, despite you having been so kind to me in the past. Let's face it, that goes WAY beyond adhd rejection sensitivity, that's a trauma response. I saw one bit of honestly well-reasoned critique of work that wasn't even mine, and I just ran. Immediately I felt like I was no longer allowed to take up space here. I felt unwelcome here in this corner of the internet world, just as I have always felt like I wasn't allowed to take up space in the physical world for almost my ENTIRE life. And the shame I already feel about myself normally was compounded by what I felt was a cowardly thing to do, which prevented me from returning. Now that I've accepted that, yes, I am an abuse victim whose life has been MASSIVELY and MAJORLY affected by that childhood trauma, I'm finally able to address it properly. Over the last few weeks I've been changing the direction of my therapy and my self-talk (reparenting yourself is HARD) and I'm feeling some improvement, but progress isn't linear so my burst of motivation the other night fizzled out, and I'm genuinely sorry for that.
So... yeah, I'm trying to come back and get those fics finished. I'm grateful for any of you willing to be patient with me. Consciously I KNOW I deserve any support willingly given to me by any of you, but I FEEL like I don't. So yeah. Thanks. <3
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odetolovers · 1 year ago
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shaking crying screaming
#get u a girlfriend who wants to get someone to recreate your old childhood stuffie that u lost#and wants to get u ur old favourite childhood book that u lost#bc she knows that ur childhood wasnt great but those parts were and wants to give them back to u#im seriously. dying every second every minute every day i have never experienced a love as kind and thoughtful and good as this#and i am truly obsessed with her she is everything i cd have ever wanted and more#i feel so lucky i cannawt believe this is real life sometimes i stg. SORRY im being extremely sappy but it’s just soooo#i was not looking for this love it just Happened TM and it makes everything else it took me to get here worth it#me when i am so very devoted and i would do anything to make her happy and i know she’d do the same#i Adore her. i cant even conceptualise how much i love her what the hell man#and not just bc of how she loves me but bc of who she is#ive never met someone more unflinchingly honest but kind and loving and fawking hilarious#and capable and self aware and such a beautiful person inside & out#i love her in all her humanness and i love her with everything in me If im honest.#i knew from before we even got together that i was going to marry her and that feeling hasnt changed#me when i spill my guts on tumblr i am treating it like a diary not a social media site. oop#WHATEVER IM HAPPY AND IN LOVE AND DEVOTED AND !!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyway.#valentina talks#my lover#EDIT IM ENDING IT ALL SHE FOUND MY OMD STUFFIE AND BOUGHT UT IM CRYING SHAKIFNGBSUING THROWIFNUOP AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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sunsetsimon · 3 months ago
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blue collar simon ♡ because i'm going insane
pt 2 here
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☼ he's waking up around 4:30am most days, due to starting at a new job site that gives him a longer commute. he's grumbly when his alarm blares, quickly turning it off and sitting on the edge of the bed for a minute to stare off and come to. his footsteps are quiet as he heads to the bathroom, brushing his teeth and giving his face a rinse to clear it from sleep. simon makes sure to keep his hair short, only needing to run his fingers through it to tame a few wild pieces that stick up on the side.
☼ most mornings you get up with him, his alarm waking you up even with as quickly as he turns it off. "go back t'sleep love," he leans over, cupping your cheek lovingly as you try to blink the sleep out of your eyes.
"gonna pack your lunch si," you say, so quietly he almost doesn't hear you. he knows better than to argue though, you're already up and nothing is better than having you help him get ready for his long day.
you slip on one of his hoodies on your way downstairs, practically swimming in the fabric as it rests on your mid thighs, hands covered in the long sleeves. his heart swells, you look so cute when you're tired and stubborn, refusing to let him leave without a proper lunch.
☼ he's not able to talk much throughout the day with how busy he is. sometimes you only get a quick 2 minute call while he's scarfing down his lunch, complaining about how their project manager was being a dick that day.
"'right babe. gettin' back to it so i'll call you when i'm leaving, whenever the fuck that'll be."
"okay si. i love you, be careful."
"always am. love you."
sometimes you get lucky with a random picture of something on the site, having no idea what it is you can only respond with a "what am i looking at?"
"fuckin' dumbass rookie can't mark out a straight line to save his fuckin' life."
whatever the hell that means. simon thinks it's funny though.
☼ comes home with new cuts and bruises everyday, the wrap on one of his fingers soaked with dirt and blood. his hands are cut up and scarred, calloused and rough to the touch but you still love them, those hands provide everything for you. you're constantly having to remind him to clean under his nails after a long day though, refusing to be touched until they're squeaky clean.
☼ he never gets home at the same time, a supposed-to-be 10 hour shift can quickly turn into a 12 or 13 depending on how much work needs to be done. not a week goes by when he doesn't have overtime, and though he makes a lot of money, he's fucking exhausted when he gets home. lazily unlacing and kicking his boots off at the door while coming in, practically with a limp, his knees and feet fighting to not give out from pure exhaustion.
still finds the energy to shove his dirty hands under your shirt though when he catches you at the stove preparing him a plate. his unkempt stubble scratches your neck as he inhales your clean, addicting scent. planting soft kisses along the skin, you almost melt into him until you smell him, dust and sweat clouding your nose.
"ugh simon! you can't be all over me while you're dirty," you whine, trying to pull away from his tightening grip on your hips.
"can't help it when y'look so damn good. missed you all day," he grumbles, pulling your ass back against his growing bulge in his work pants, thrusting against you through layers of clothing.
"eat and take a shower first, then we can talk," you give him another shove - much to his dismay. apparently he wasn't as tired as he thought.
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pulchrasilva · 1 year ago
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Oh my god. Thank fuck for my dreams' inability to fit real life details into them because that was horrible. I was real scared for a minute
#had a dream that. i had a meet up with all my friends and all my online friends#and also gill and jay for some reason#i think it was someone's birthday#and it was great i got to meet everyone and introduce friends who didnt know each other and muck around with people#and then as we were leaving. my whole family was waiting in the car except my mum#and when she arrived she said she'd gotten into a car crash (for some reason we had 2 cars) and literally everyone had died#and then i fucking. went to school?? and walked in like nothing happened???#*pokes my brain* hey dude what the fuck#thankfully. i have never gone to school in a classroom that looks like that. that teacher moved away 3 months ago.#im not in a class with jay ferin (unfortunately)#oh yeah because i walked in anc they were doing the register and tye teacher was like 'hey lucky do you know where jay is' and i was like#'um. i think she's dead' and immediately broke down crying. slapping my dream self why would you gi to school???#anyway. back to things that were wrong with the dream#we dont own 2 cars#i am not friends with gillion tidestrider either#there was a computer screen in the old historic site which. no that doesnt make sense#there were crisps that for some reason had the details of ashe winters' appearance and location on them. and we were looking for her. but#but we kept eating the crisps like we didnt care about the writing on them. which is obviously insane#i dont sit next to that guy in class and obviously my parents wouldnt let me go to school if all my friends had just died#my mum seemed entirely unconcerned about the fact she'd killed all my friends. i was suspecting she was lying actually but i didnt check#but like again. my mother would not pretend to have killed everyone i know#i wouldnt plan a huge meet up day wjth friends at a place far away i need to drive to it anf have never been before#if i needed to go to school immediately after anyway#i havent been in school for over a month now anyway#it's just all round not real. great.#ok im good now but yhat was fucked. up. what the fuck#vent post#death mention#car crash
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anonymouspuzzler · 1 year ago
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HAPPY UPDATE DAY!!! 🏠
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After all this time, all this hard work, I can finally tell you all more about my work on Welcome Home beyond "Dude Just Trust Me I Work On It I Swear" !!
I've been calling myself the "production manager" because a lot of what I've done has been in that realm - making checklists and spreadsheets, doing research, sending emails, and generally keeping our wonderful team on track to do the incredible things they do, with all the support they need! I'm very lucky and grateful to get to support Clown and all the incredible actors and artists we've brought on!!
that said, over the time I've been part of this project (I looked back and realized February 1st this year is when it all Officially Began, can you believe it), I've gotten to work on some more obvious, visible things you'll find on the site today as well! most prominently, I am very proud to say, I was the curator of the very real Welcome Home exhibition!! Clown was extremely generous and supportive in letting me bring his work into the world this way, and with their help it became bigger and better than I ever could have dreamed! Though this iteration was very small and private due to our venue, I hope the few of you I know who attended enjoyed it very much, and for the rest, know we hope to find ways to host the exhibition in other and more public venues in the future! (Where and when, I don't know, but I'll work hard to make it happen...!)
As part of the exhibition, I was able to create a lot of new props to help build the world of Welcome Home! Most excitingly, I was able to create a real working toy telephone, and help Clown to find our talented group of voice actors to provide the recordings! And of course, I was able to meet dear sweet Wally and Home themselves, who were the sweetest little peanuts and a true pair of professionals! Just delights to work with!!
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Though this was my most prominent contribution, somehow, that wasn't all! You will find bits and pieces of my art and writing all over the newest website update (some places more obvious than others...), and I was able to contribute to building many of the new and updated site pages as well! We've all worked so hard on everything you'll find there, so I hope you all enjoy the exciting new additions to the neighborhood!
My final little statement while I have my sweet little soapbox here... every last one of you who has provided support, even just one ko-fi tip, has Directly made this update Possible!! Not only do these tips allow us very literally to pay for supplies, art, voice work and the like, it very directly Supports and Improves the livelihoods of every single person involved!! so if you have the means, and would like to do so, please do consider tipping or subscribing to Clown and/or any of the other artists and actors involved!
And with all that... thank you, neighbors!! And Welcome Home!!
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juniperskye · 22 days ago
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I Can’t Do This.
Sneak peek: Reader is recently off of a long-term undercover operation (similar to Emily’s) that left her in a bad way. Director Cruz reaches out, assigning her to the BAU. After speaking to her therapist and expressing her concerns, they come up with a solution of how to inform her new boss of some of the horrors she endured on her mission. Hotch keeps a close eye on her, being careful not to trigger her��until one day, he accidentally does in the worst way. ITALLICS ARE FLASHBACKS! BOLD ARE THERAPY SESSIONS.
Aaron Hotchner x (Fem) BAU! Reader
Angst/Fluff
Word count: 5605
REQUESTS ARE OPEN - not edited - please be kind. Requests are open and feedback is welcome if it's constructive!
Warnings: My blog is 18+, minors DNI,YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN MEDIA CONSUMPTION. age gap (reader is in their 20’s and Hotch is in his 40’s), explicit language, mention of canon typical violence, mention of therapy, reader attends regular therapy sessions, mention of a toxic previous “relationship”, mention of a previous dom/sub dynamic, murder, talk of trafficking, forced consent (reader is working the undercover op) mention of previous abuse and manipulation, some use of y/n, Hotch accidentally triggering the reader, let me know if I missed anything!
I do not consent to having my work translated or reposted to any other site. That being said I do not own the characters portrayed in this story.
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“Y/n it has been three months since you returned from your undercover op, it’s time. The BAU needs an additional agent, and you’d make a great addition. It’s really not up for discussion.” Director Cruz ended with finality.
“I really don’t think I am ready. Director Cruz, I know it has been three months, and you guys have been so gracious with the paid leave, but I’m still working through everything I went through when I was under.” You explained.
“Your therapist and the FBI issued psych eval have both cleared you to return y/n. You’re joining the BAU. You’ll begin next Monday.” Cruz decided.
“Okay.”
With that you stood and exited his office. It’s not that you didn’t want to work for the BAU, in fact, under normal circumstances you’d have been begging for this placement. But after everything you endured while undercover, you weren’t sure you could handle being on a team, especially not one run by Aaron Hotchner.
--
“You were recommended to me by Sheri, did she tell you anything about me?” He questioned.
“She mentioned you were looking for someone who knew how to follow rules.” You answered.
You had been assigned to an undercover operation in which a very powerful man would finally be brought to justice. Emilio Alvatorre, one of FBI’s most wanted. This man did unspeakable things and lucky for you, he was in the market for a new submissive. Normally the FBI wouldn’t jump at putting an agent in this kind of situation, however, in this case Emilio was known to keep his subs knelt at his side in his office. That would mean that you would be privilege to information that could take him down.
“So, are you good at following rules?” Emilio said in a voice meant to be sexy, but it was truly repulsive.
Leaning in to whisper in his ear, “The best.”
--
“I’m worried that Agent Hotchner is going to give me a directive and that I will follow it whether I agree with it or not. I am terrified that I have completely lost myself, and that I will just blindly follow.” You explained.
“Y/n we’ve talked about this, you are strong, you are capable of making decisions and speaking up for yourself.”
“Yeah but being at the BAU with Agent Hotchner, he’s a very commanding and dominant man, what if I fall right back into…” You trailed off.
“He is commanding and dominant, but he isn’t Emilio. I am going to give you some homework, and then I’d like to see you again on Thursday so we can go over it before you join the BAU Monday.”
“You’re right. What’s the homework?” You asked.
“I want you to first come up with a list of coping strategies for when you begin to feel anxious or overwhelmed on the job. Then I want you to write a letter to read to Agent Hotchner giving him some insight as to what you have been through.”
“Absolutely not! Sylvia I can’t do that!”
“Y/n I am not asking you to give him all the details, just a little bit that might help him to know you.”
“Fine.”
--
You had a hard time figuring out what to put in the letter to Agent Hotchner, debating what was too much versus what was too little to say. How much did he need to know, how much were you comfortable sharing…it was all becoming a bit much.
Ultimately, you’d written something up along with a perfect list of coping strategies that you knew would satisfy your therapist.
After meeting with her on Thursday and going over what you came up with, and allowing her to help you tweak a few things, your body filled with dread, anxiously awaiting Monday morning when you’d have to go into the BAU.
--
Director Cruz escorted you to the floor that houses the BAU, bringing you into Agent Hotchner’s office for introductions. You felt like you had just walked out on a stage completely naked with the way all the other agents were looking at you.
“Hotchner, this is Agent y/n. I sent over her file last week. She is going to start with the BAU today.” Director Cruz announced.
“Yes, I saw your email. It is nice to finally meet you.” Agent Hotchner greeted.
“Y/n would you excuse us for just a moment, I’d like to speak to Hotch here.”
Without another word you followed the director’s order. You stepped out of the office and stood patiently waiting for their conversation to end.
--
“She’s anxious.” Spencer mumbled.
“Wouldn’t you be?” Emily replied.
“No, look at her, she’s digging her nails into her palms, a light sweat has broken out on her neck, her heartrate has increased slightly, and she hasn’t looked up at us once. She’s probably suffering from severe anxiety.” Spencer rambled.
“Don’t profile the newbie Spence.” Emily scolded, patting his shoulder.
--
“Alright, y/n go on in and Hotch will fill you in on what his expectations for you are.” Director Cruz headed off.
With a light knock, you awaited Agent Hotchner’s approval before entering his office once again. Mentally chastising yourself for your submissive actions.
“Agent y/n, please, have a seat.” Hotch gestured.
You sat in one of the chairs across from him.
“It says here in your file that you’re recently returning from a twelve-month assignment. I noticed the assignment isn’t labeled as classified, but quite a bit of it was redacted. Can you speak on that at all?” Hotch inquired.
“Agent Hotchner, if it is okay with you, I have somethings I’d like to discuss. Some of which is relevant of that case, but it is primarily regarding the effects that case had on me.”
“Go ahead.” Hotch nodded.
“The undercover op I was working put me in a position in which I was forced and manipulated to blindly following directions from someone. I had to do this for twelve months, and since then, I have had a pretty hard time finding my voice again. Certain things can be triggering for me, so I wrote up some things for you, with the help of my therapist. There are coping strategies that I may need to utilize and there are somethings there for you, to navigate situations that may come up.” You were worried that this was all going to lead to Hotch doubting your ability to do this job. “I also want to make it known that I told the Director that I wasn’t ready to return to work.”
“Thank you for sharing this, I think it’ll help me to make your transition back to work smooth. As for you being ready, I think you sharing that information shows a lot about your strength and I think you are more than ready to be here.”
--
“Kneel.” Emilio ordered with a snap of his fingers.
You slowly dropped to your knees, sitting back on your heels and resting your palms on the tops of your thighs, your gaze focused on the frayed rug that covered the hardwood floor in front of you.
“Bring him in.” Emilio spoke into the intercom that connects him to his security.
The guards drag in a man who appears to be near death, clearly beaten. Emilio rests a hand on your head, gently petting your hair before speaking in a tone you don’t recognize.
“I heard you’ve been snooping around. Talking to Jeremy and his guys.” Emilio spat.
“I haven’t sir I swear!” The man was begging for his life.
“I don’t like snakes.” Emilio raised his gun and shot the man point blank.
You couldn’t help but flinch at the sound. A strong hand was quick to grip your chin.
“Flinching is a sign of weakness. I can’t have a pet that is weak.” His grip tightened “Are you weak?”
“No sir.” You reassured.
“Good.”
--
Working with the BAU had been going well, Hotch had truly been incredible. He’d encouraged you to share your thoughts and theories while on cases. He also reminded you to use your coping strategies when the cases became particularly overwhelming.
Like today for example. The team was working on a case that was taking a toll on you, mentally and emotionally. Women were being kidnapped then brutally tortured and left for dead in the street. It was becoming increasingly difficult to detach yourself from what these women must’ve been feeling.
Hotch was quick to notice the change in your demeanor and he made it a point to assign you with Spencer at the precinct. You were tightening up the victimology while Spencer worked on the geographical profile. You had come to the conclusion that the unsub was targeting victims primarily on their looks, they had all been of similar height, had same color hair and eyes. Worse than that…they all kind of looked like you. The sound of Derek and Emily approaching made your stomach sink. Spencer had clearly picked up on your anxiety since you’d been with the BAU, but the others, not so much.
“Hey guys, what did you find out?” Emily inquired.
“Well, I’ve narrowed down the geographical profile. This area right here…” Spencer gesture to the map covering the screen “this is his comfort zone, all the abductions and dumpsites fall within this five-block radius.”
“What about you new girl?” Derek nudged you gently.
“I looked into all the victims, and they all were approximately the same height and build, same color hair and eyes. I spoke to Penelope; she confirmed that all of the women frequented the same coffee shop.” You explained.
Hotch, Rossi, and JJ all entered just in time to hear Derek confirm your thoughts…which led to a suggestion that made your heart sink.
“Y/n these girls all kind of look like you...” Derek walks over to where their pictures are pinned up to the board. “Maybe we should send you to the coffee shop undercover. It could help us find this guy.”
You heart was pounding, causing a loud whooshing sound to drown out your hearing. You closed your fists and dug your nails into your palms. You could feel the sweat breaking out along your forehead.
In and out…deep breaths. You reminded yourself of the coping strategies you’d come up with for instances like this. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven…
“Absolutely not!” Hotch commanded, shaking you from your thoughts while simultaneously distracting the others from your very obvious panic attack.
“Hotch man come on! She fits the victimology perfectly; it could end this case if she could catch his attention.” Derek argued.
“It’s not up for discussion. I will not send a new agent undercover, not until she is more comfortable on this team. Undercover ops like that require a significant level of trust, one that she may not have yet.” Hotch shut Derek down.
“We know he must go to this coffee shop; JJ and I could go in and watch. Keep an eye out for a man acting suspicious.” Emily suggested.
“Good, first thing tomorrow.” Hotch said before dismissing the team for the evening.
--
“Sir, is it safe to be talking about this…with her here?”
“Are you questioning me?” Emilio sneered. “My pet is well behaved. I wouldn’t have her here if I thought otherwise. Who are you to question my decisions?” His voice raised.
“I’m sorry sir! I didn’t mean to insinuate anything. I just wasn’t sure.”
“Don’t let it happen again. Now I’ll ask again. What is the update on the shipment?” Emilio demanded.
“There are going to be three crates in the shipping container. The boat is set to anchor Friday at midnight.”
“And everything we were promised will be there?” Emilio asked.
“Well, not the girls. This shipment is just the weapons.”
“Excuse me?” Emilio’s expression turned sinister.
You were knelt by his desk like always. This conversation had been one you were banking on; it was hopefully going to allow your team to pick him and his associates up. Only, this conversation had taken a turn that you weren’t expecting. His shipments thus far had only contained drugs and weapons, so why was he asking about girls?
“I was assured that everything would be included. How fucking hard is it to follow orders?” Emilio shouted, his fist slamming onto his desk.
You sat still, silently taking in the situation. That night you’d check in with your team and fill them in on the new information. You just needed to get the logistics of when the second shipment would arrive, and honestly, you were scared Emilio would kill this guy before you got that information.
“I know boss. They told me that the girls would be here soon. There was an issue getting paperwork for some of them. But it should all be worked out now.”
“I need a date and time. By the end of the day. Otherwise, you’re done.” Emilio hissed. He then brushed his hand over your head. “C’mon pet, let’s go to bed. And you, I’ll be expecting your call.”
Going to bed with Emilio had initially been the worst part of this assignment. Thankfully he’d had you STD tested which meant you were both clean, and he’d ensured you received birth control shots. The sex had surprised you; you had expected it to be rough and painful but, it had been soft and gentle. Emilio whispered sweet nothings to you, and he held you close, and he’d carefully bathe you afterwards.
It may be sick and twisted…but it didn’t bother you, having sex with him.
--
A light knock at your door had startled you. You made your way over to check the peephole, and there he was waiting patiently.
“Hotch, is everything okay?”
“I should be asking you that. Morgan was out of line suggesting we send you in.”
“It’s okay, really. He doesn’t know any better.”
Hotch gave you a sympathetic look. You could tell he was doing everything in his power not to profile you. You appreciated his effort, and it truly was endearing. Around Hotch, you’d started to feel more comfortable around him and his consistent care of you and your mental health had been the thing that drew you in. He cared so much, and it meant the world to you.
“You seemed nervous earlier, does that have to do with the undercover assignment you worked?”
“Yes.”  You sighed.
In the last two months of being with the BAU, you and Hotch had been teetering this fine line of coworkers and more. It wasn’t necessarily leaning toward something romantic, at least that’s what you were both trying to convince yourselves of but, it had definitely become a friendship. Hotch had allowed you a safe space in which you were starting to feel like yourself again. He had never pushed you for information about your past and he continuously checked in with you to make sure you were comfortable and okay. More recently though, as things like what happened today occurred, you have felt like maybe you should tell Hotch a little more about what you endured.
“You know, if you ever want to talk about it, I am here for you. I don’t want you to feel pressured or like you have to tell me anything! But if you should choose, I’d listen.” Hotch admitted.
“I was sent in undercover to investigate Emilio Alvatorre…” You began.
“Emilio Alvatorre? He was one of FBI’s most wanted! Lucrative arms dealer, importing drugs…I heard he was ultimately brought down for sex trafficking.” Hotch was stunned.
“Yeah, that was me. Emilio took part in a certain lifestyle; he is a dominant and he was seeking a new submissive…and I guess I fit the bill. He essentially owned me, and he referred to me as his pet. It was my job to follow his orders blindly, and I did.”
“What was it like?” Hotch questioned.
“Well…
--
“Good morning pet.” Emilio purred pressing a kiss right below your ear.
“Mmm, good morning sir. Can I make you breakfast?” You offered.
“No darling, the cook will prepare our meal. I think it is sweet you still ask.” His kisses travelled down your neck.
“Do you have meetings today?” You inquired.
“Today is all about you pet. We are going to get you some new clothes, shoes, and maybe a new necklace. I want to spoil you today! We are celebrating!” Emilio gushed.
It was the moments like this that fucked with your mind the most. Emilio could be so kind and gentle, he wanted to take care of you and in the time you’d been with him, it had been increasingly easier to let him. But then there were moments when he turned dark…the other side of him came to light and you couldn’t help but question your mind.
“Boss…” Emilio’s associate barged into the office, only to find you bent over his desk while he pounded into you from behind.
“Not now!” Emilio growled.
“But boss!” This guy really couldn’t take the hint.
Emilio wasn’t one who took well to being interrupted, in any aspect of his life. So, when this associate decided what he had to say was more important than Emilio’s time…you knew it would be bad.
Emilio’s hips never faltered, not upon the initial interruption and certainly not when he leaned to the side, grabbed his gun, and shot the man standing in the doorway. You pinched your eyes shut, knowing better than to react to the horrific sight before you. Emilio continued thrusting, his grunts becoming more erratic, and when he finally finished, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to the back of your neck.
“Go run a hot bath. Get in and wait for me. I need to go see about this issue and get this cleaned up.” Emilio stated as he assisted you in standing upright.
“Yes sir.”
--
“It was really hard for me to deal with the two sides of him. I became confused and my mind was so foggy as to whether or not he was truly awful. And I know that so much of that is the manipulation of being his submissive, but I was with him for a year, it was easy to forget what things had been like before Emilio.” You trailed off.
“I can’t even imagine all the things you must’ve seen and gone through in that time. I can understand why you weren’t sure about joining the BAU initially…but I am really glad you did.” Hotch expressed, placing his hand atop your own.
“I’m glad I did too.”
--
The next morning Emily and JJ were sent into the coffee shop that all the victims frequented, and they couldn’t track the unsub. Either he was far too subtle, or he hadn’t shown up. The team was currently in the precinct trying to figure out the next steps, when Derek suggested it again.
“I still think y/n should go undercover, it’s our best bet in finding this guy. What do you say new girl?”
You were taken aback; your mind was screaming at you to decline. You weren’t ready for this, going undercover, blindly following team orders. It’s for the greater good though, isn’t it?
“I could do that.”
“Morgan, I already said it’s not happening. She isn’t ready.” Hotch commanded.
“Hotch, we have all had to go undercover. There is no reason that she can’t go into the coffee shop and order a freaking latte. We will all be there to keep her safe, just like any other case!” Morgan was practically shouting.
“It’s okay. I can do it.”
“Y/n you don’t have to do this. Not if you aren’t comfortable.” Hotch was obviously trying to profile you based on his expression.
“I’m okay. I’ll do it.”
--
You were ordering a coffee, meanwhile Spencer was sitting in the back of the café reading a book and Rossi was in line, about three patrons behind you. Hotch insisted on sitting at a table just outside the entrance to keep a close eye on everyone coming and going. JJ, Derek, and Emily were all in the surveillance van parked across the street, waiting for the signal.
After you received your coffee, you found a seat at an empty table. It wasn’t long before a man approached you. He was tall and clearly strong; he had a very sinister aura that gave you the chills.
“Mind if I sit here?” He asked.
“Oh, sure.” You agreed.
The man sat, but only after he moved the chair closer to you. He was talking to you, but you were having a hard time listening. You were silently begging the guys to come to help and get him away from you.
“You know, you’re really pretty. Why don’t we get out of here? We could go get lunch.” The man suggested.
“Oh, I’m not sure I should.”
“C’mon, be a good girl and get up.” His tone became more aggressive.
You stood up without a second thought, much to the unsub’s delight. He grabbed your arm in a bruising grip and began leading you out of the café.
“They’re on the move. Why is she going with him? This wasn’t the plan.” Derek exclaimed.
Hotch’s demeanor instantly changed. After you opened up to him about your previous assignment, he understood now why you had seemingly always followed orders willingly, only your willingness had been conditioned. Instilled in you through the manipulation of a very dangerous man.
“I got it.” Hotch
Hotch stood up and turned abruptly, purposefully plowing into you and the unsub. He made a move that shifted you away from the unsub and placed himself between you.
“Oh, I am so sorry!” Hotch feigned innocence.
“Are you fucking kidding me? Watch where you’re going asshole. Let’s get out of here.” The unsub reached for your arm once more.
“She’s not going anywhere with you.”
“You want to bet?”  he said, pulling a gun from his waistband and pointing it directly at your head.
You didn’t flinch, in fact you didn’t move a muscle. All the while everyone else sprung into action. Hotch tried to talk him down while the rest of the team surrounded him on all sides. You had stood there completely disassociated while this man threatened your life and ultimately met his untimely end via Emily’s weapon.
--
“Y/n would you please come to my office?” Hotch requested.
You silently followed Hotch to his office. You were wringing your hands, hoping that he wouldn’t reprimand you for your behavior today. You couldn’t handle disappointing people.
“You didn’t even flinch. You had a gun pointed at you and you didn’t even blink. You also willingly left the café with him, which was not a part of the plan we had discussed.” Hotch stated, his tone calm.
“I’m sorry Hotch. He told me to get up and I just…I wasn’t sure what to do. I know we needed to catch the guy.”
“I don’t want you getting hurt.” Hotch admitted. “I don’t know what I would do if you got hurt. I also don’t want you to agree to do things simply because someone tells you to. Like agreeing to go undercover.”
“I don’t know how to do that. Disagree I mean. I’m not sure I have that in me anymore.” You did everything in your power to keep the tears at bay. “I don’t want to disappoint you.”
“Y/n I’m not disappointed. I do think that it is very important you continue to work with your therapist.”
“I will.”
--
“…and I just stood there.”
“Y/n you we conditioned for over a year to sit still when any sort of firearm was shot, you watched people die right in front of you. You were covered in their blood and forced to remain kneeling until instructed otherwise. I can’t say I am entirely surprised that you didn’t react to having a weapon pointed at you. What does surprise me though was that you agreed to going undercover.” Sylvia finished.
“I knew it was our best option to finding this unsub. I fit the victimology, and I was able to fish him out. It was a no-brainer.” You shrugged.
“Now that sound like someone making a rational decision.” Sylvia smirked.
“Yeah well, after the case Hotch called me out and I felt like a child being scolded. I could barely hold back tears.”
“Why do you think that is?” She pressed.
“I don’t know. I guess, I’m afraid of not being good enough and worse, disappointing him.”
“The only person you should be worried about disappointing is yourself. Y/n you have made huge strides in the last five months and as long as you stay true to yourself, you will continue to do so.”
--
The months went on, as did the cases and your therapy sessions. Oddly enough, you had started to feel more like yourself. Things with the BAU have started to become easy, you were opening up little by little to the others and you were getting better at making your own decisions.
Hotch had also noticed the change. It had warmed his heart to see you really coming into your own, to really get to know the real you. Which had only strengthened his feelings toward you, causing him to work extra hard to shove them down. Rossi knew simply from the look Hotch gave you, but that’s a story for another time.
The team had been working back-to-back cases all over the country for the last few weeks. It had been exhausting and the team were getting to a point where everyone was snippy. Lack of sleep had led to a horrible lack of patience, and the local officers weren’t making matters any better.
“What if we were wrong, I think the unsub is a woman. I mean look at the attention to detail in the clean up and at how the bodies were presented.” You offered.
“Y/n could be right; a woman would take the time to be precise and it would explain the…”
Before Spencer could finish his thought, Officer Riley decided to provide his own theories.
“There is no way it is a woman. They don’t have the courage to take care of people like this. That’s why the statistic proves that the unsub is a man.”
“With all due respect, women are just as capable of murder as men, and when they do it they are often far more meticulous which is why that fits better here.” You explained.
“Well, with all due respect ma’am, I’ve been doing this job longer than you could walk.”
“Excuse me?” You couldn’t bother hiding your surprise.
“All I’m saying sweetheart, is that perhaps you’d be better off getting us some coffee.” Officer Riley sneered.
“Last time I checked, I’m the one working for the FBI and not some Podunk little police station in the middle of nowhere, Idaho. So how about you back off and let us finish our…”
“Y/N TAKE A SEAT.” Hotch demanded.
Despite your shock at Hotch’s tone toward you, you took a seat without hesitation.
“Officer Riley, please let my agents do their work. We have much more important things to be doing than arguing about the duties of a woman.” Hotch chided.
“Well, you clearly agree with me given the fact that you gave her an order. If you’d been on her side you’d have probably told me off.” Riley turned to you, “and you clearly do know how to listen to a man in charge. Perhaps I misjudged you.”
With that, Riley made his leave with a low chuckle, and you sat there considering what had just happened. Hotch had commanded you to sit down knowing full well you’d comply, that way he could deal with Riley without you continuing to tell him off. He used what he knew about you against you, despite all the conversations you’ve had with him. Despite him knowing full well your fear of blindly following orders.
“I can’t believe you.” You stood up and walked out, heading straight for the precinct exit.
“Y/n wait!” Hotch followed you.
As you landed on the sidewalk just upon the exit, Hotch’s had made its way around your upper left arm in a desperate attempt to slow you down and hear him out. Only you were in no mood to listen to him or anyone else right now. All you felt was the sense of betrayal blooming in your chest.
As he swung you back around to face him, you did something that shocked even you. You right arm followed around, landing a harsh slap to Hotch’s cheek. Your breathing was ragged, a look of surprise painting your features…a look of guilt flooding Hotch’s.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t…” You paused.
“No, Y/n I am so sorry I shouldn’t have-” Hotch pleaded.
“I need to go. I can’t do this. I’m sorry.” With that you left, calling a taxi, and heading back to the hotel.
--
“YOU STUPID BITCH! HOW COULD YOU?” Emilio Screamed, lunging toward you.
“Emilio I didn’t, I just…I”
Emilio wrapped his hand around your throat, harshly choking you as SWAT swarmed the shipyard. They quickly made their way to you, removing Emilio from his position over you. As they pulled him away you couldn’t help but watch him.
“Kneel Pet!” Emilio commanded.
You couldn't help but follow his order. Immediately dropping to your knees, resting your hands atop your thighs and letting your gaze fall to the ground.
“I will always own you! You will always be my pet, perfectly broken in!” Emilio hollered as they put him in the back of a vehicle.
“Y/n you’re okay, lets get you up and checked out.” Your unit commander suggested.
Only you didn’t move. You couldn’t get up, not without his permission.
That night, the paramedics had to sedate you to get you into an ambulance. And after that you were placed in a psychiatric facility for 30 days to help undo the brainwashing you’d endured.
--
“Sylvia, I slapped him. My boss, I slapped him right in the face!”
“Y/n you reacted to a situation and based on what you just explained to me, it seems like he knew he was in the wrong. You shouldn’t be blaming yourself and honestly, you should talk to him.”
“I wouldn’t even know where to begin.”
“Maybe tell him how you feel.” Sylvia suggested.
--
You spent the afternoon practicing what to say to Hotch, Spencer had been texting you updates of that case as it progressed. He’d let you know that they caught the unsub and were headed back to the hotel. So, as you opened your door to make your way to his room, you came face-to-face with the man himself.
“Hotch.”  You gasped.
“Y/n can we talk?”
You moved aside to allow him access to your room. You couldn’t help but feel nervous about the conversation that was to come.
“Hotch, I am so sorry for slapping you! I was just-”
“You shouldn’t be the one apologizing. Y/n I am so sorry, I heard you going off on Riley and I knew that if you kept talking he’d report you and I’d be forced to suspend you, only I hadn’t considered the effect that me demanding you take a seat would have on you. I need you to know it was not my intention to take advantage of you like that and even worse, I shouldn’t have put my hand on you the way I did. You had every right to slap me.” Hotch explained.
“You were trying to protect me?”
“Riley had made threats of reporting our staff for going against orders of the precinct. I knew that he’d report you for your behavior, despite him clearly being in the wrong. I didn’t want to suspend you.”
“I didn’t realize. But Hotch telling me to take a seat, in the tone you did, it felt like I was right back there. Following orders without thinking. With you, I can’t explain it, I would do anything you asked me to and that terrifies me. My feelings for you only add to that need to do anything you say, to do anything to please you. I can’t help it.”
“You have feelings for me?”
“Aaron! Is that all you took from what I just said?”
“Please say that again.” He whispered.
“Aaron.”
He let his eyes close and took a deep breath. You could tell he was holding back and though part of you was begging you to walk away, the other was telling you to jump in. You thought about what Sylvia would say, and you couldn’t help but release a breathy laugh, knowing full well that she would tell you that only you can make the right decision, and it is okay to trust yourself.
“Aaron, I am terrified…and it is going to take me some time to fully trust myself again, but I really like you and if you’re up for it, I’d like to give this a shot. Unless you don’t feel the same way, then please ignore what I just said an-”
Aaron pulled you in and pressed his lips to yours in a searing kiss. One that told you everything you needed to know.
“I’m scared too, but I want to try this Y/n. I know that you’re still working to find yourself, I am willing to wait if that is what you need, but I am also willing to be by your side every step of the way.”
“I don’t want to wait.”
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jji-lee · 3 months ago
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mark was sat on the edge of the bathtub, one foot on the toilet as he tried his best to apply ointment on his fresh wound. what was even going through his head, he invited you over to talk, just talk, so why did he get the bright idea to shave his balls. i mean, better safe than sorry right? who knew, maybe you had spent just as many sleepless nights thinking about what it would feel like to have his skin up against yours, heat radiating off you bodies as you- enough.
there was nothing sexy about tonight, he had an injured ball and the truth to confess. tonight was about righting his wrongs, about trying his best to be honest with you.... and maybe, just maybe, after everything is said and done, he'd get a little lucky.
.
as you stared at mark's front door you couldn't help but wonder how the hell you ended up here. maybe some weird fate pulled you both together.
you'd been applying to change dorms since your first month of college (mark had always been a noisy neighbor) and your requests had always been denied, leaving you here next door to mark. and then when you finally tried to find love and you get paired with some super romantic anonymous guy (who you found out was mark), and then after that anonymous guy breaks your heart you find yourself falling for the noisy neighbor you once hated.
.
whatever silly red string had been pulling you towards mark had finally led you here. he was standing in front of you hair messy, a light blush on his cheeks as he looked down at you, a small smile on his lips,
"hi pretty girl.”
your heart fluttered at the nickname, immediately melting as he leaned down to wrap his arms around you waist, snuggling his face into your neck. he took a deep breath, enjoying your scent.
“mmm you smell good, i haven’t seen you in so long.”
a blush creeped onto your cheeks when you realized how domestic this all was. if you knew that all it took was a date or two with his friends to get him this sappy you would’ve accepted haechan’s advances a long time ago. you pushed him back by his shoulders, giggling,
“it’s only been like a week mark, don’t tell me you’re already falling for me.”
he grabbed your hand as he dragged you into his apartment, straight into his bedroom.
“more like i already fell, scraped my knee and everything.”
he chuckled nervously, trying to pretend he didn’t just confess his feelings. you bit your lip to hide your growing smile, scooting up onto his bed so your back was against the headboard.
“so why’d you call me over markie, besides the fact that you’re obviously jealous of hyuck.”
he made a sour face at the nickname you gave his friend,
“yeah hyuck, i called you over to talk about him actually.”
you raised a brow confused as to why haechan was the one thing on his mind. you were expecting a confession of him being the anonymous guy with tears in his eyes, on his knees begging for forgiveness, but you guess haechan is one way to start.
you nodded slowly, urging him to continue.
“yeah well, haechan isn’t peter, well i guess he is, technically, by law or something, it’s on his birth certific-“
“mark, stop rambling.”
he picked at his fingernail before continuing,
“yeah well he’s not the peter, you know the one that’s supposed to be your romeo, i am.”
he squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for your response.
“wait so you’re my romeo? the one i met on that anonymous dating site? the one that started acting weird before telling me he had a crush on another girl?”
he nodded, eyes still squeezed shut. you raised your voice a little,
“mark look at me, i’m talking to you.”
he slowly opened his eyes, biting the inside of his cheek nervously. you bit back a smile, happy that he was feeling at least a tiny bit bad for what he did.
“do you have anything else to say?”
he looked up at you, eyes slightly watery.
“i’m just sorry for everything, seriously, i should’ve never kept this from you, and i get it if you hate me now, but that doesn’t mean that i’m just gonna let you go. my feelings were true this whole time and i really like you, you’re the most interesting girl i’ve ever met. and i’m rambling now but i can go on and on about how sorry i am because i care a lot about our relationship and i want to work this out and-”
you brought a hand up to grab his shoulder,
"alright mark that's enough."
he stopped his ramble looking at you expectedly,
"i know, i've known since i went out with hyuck-"
"oh my god he told you? wait? so you knew and you still came to see me? why aren't you mad at me? why are you so calm?"
you shook your head, lightly laughing,
"do you want me to be mad mark? are you into that? want me to yell at you?"
he lightly slapped your thigh as his cheeks turned bright red,
"stop that! i'm serious! just because you're hot doesn't mean you can use that against me!"
you smirked at him,
"so you think i'm hot?"
he threw himself onto the bed, roughly rubbing his face with his hands.
"you're killing me y/n."
you got up from your place, crawling towards mark before straddling his hips. You hovered your face close to his, giggling as you watched him peek through the gaps of his fingers.
"mark? i'm not mad, promise."
he removed his hands from his face, instead choosing to place them on your hips, looking down to see where your bodies touched, the blush now spreading to his ears. he looked back up at you,
"yeah, but why?"
you looked down at him, liking this position a lot.
"mark, even when you were anonymous, you were nothing but a gentlemen. and when i finally got to know you in person i realized that you were more than just the asshole next door. and i gotta give you credit, you made me fall for you twice. you said your feelings are true and that's the honesty i'm looking for- are you seriously hard right now?"
he brought his hands back up to his face groaning,
"sorry, i was trying not to, i swear i'm listening to what you're saying, but for some reason that's making me hard too, i can't help it!"
you giggled,
"my confession is making you hard?"
he gave you a nervous smile as he slowly looked back down to your hips.
"so this isn't a bad time to ask you to kiss me?"
you leaned down lips only a breath away from his,
"you may be my markie now, but the fuck boy neighbor is still inside you."
he laughed softly as you tried to press your lips onto his, failing as you began to laugh with him. your teeth clashed as you both giggled into each others mouths. you leaned back slapping his chest gently.
"you asked for a kiss! stop laughing!"
he placed his hands back on your hips, smirking up at you,
"so you'll do anything i ask? is it a bad time to ask you to-"
you placed a finger over his mouth,
"mark lee i know what you're gonna ask."
you removed yourself from his lap, laying flat on your back,
"i'm not mad, but it doesn't mean you're forgiven."
he turned towards you, hand coming up to play with your hair,
"yeahhh but i promise you'll forgive me after i show you how good i am with my-"
"buh buh buh, mark lee stop it! i need you to get on your knees and beg for forgiveness! i am an empowered woman!"
"i have something elseee i can do on my knees, and it'll make you feel superrrr empowered."
you sat up quickly, turning to glare at mark,
"mark lee, i'm going to go to the bathroom and when i come out you better have a romantic dinner set up!"
you pushed yourself off the bed quickly walking to the bathroom hearing mark shout behind you,
"babyyyy, why do you need the bathroom all of a sudden huh?"
maybe you should've shaved before coming...
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𖦹 .ᐣ.ᐟ₊ ⊹ cryptic crush — [35] hairy balls
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previous — masterlist — next
notes : yippieeee we're almost there, they're not dating yet mainly cause i wanna make some chapters of mark being lovey dovey asking for forgiveness but basically they're fucking
taglist : @sunghoonsgfreal , @dalsosapple , @nanaxwi , @neverbeurs , @miichellehciim , @hizhu , @mystverse , @ppeachyttae , @jae-n0 , @onlyhyunjin , @alethea-moon , @onyourmark-99 , @sunnystarred , @p-d1ddy , @hisrkive , @flwrs4marklee , @haechskiss , @rutheaflowers , @busy-daydreaming02 , @byeonwooseokabs , @bunniin , @odxrilove , @injunnie-lemon , @sunflowerhae , @nosungluv , @222brainrot , @vklve , @aerivrs , @slayhaechan , @aek1ra , @honeynanamin , @roseangelxfuma , @starfilledgaze , @meowtella , @grassbutneo , @hyuck-me , @lovm4rk , @minkyuncutie , @babystrlla , @tynlvr , @jakesbubu , @yutasputa69 , @mrkleelvr , @spiderm444rk , @zzurao , @haechoshi , @brii-sunwoos-version , @nneteyamss , @morkiee
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heartsforvin · 3 months ago
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ONLINE LOVE
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thank you nonnie for the request !! i hope you like it (:
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pairing: gamer!vinnie hacker x fem!reader
warnings: cussing, sexual jokes / innuendos, pure fluff
summary: when vinnie goes on omegle one random night out of boredom, he doesn’t expect to meet you and fall in love in the process
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with nothing to do on a friday night, vinnie decided to go on omegele. he hadn't been on the site in years, and honestly thought it had gotten banned.
tagging it with a few trendy things, vinnie fixed up his appearance just a bit before clicking on the video option.
of course he knew he wasn't going to get lucky with someone not showing their junk right away, so he wasn't disappointed when he saw some random guy's dick.
after a few skips and boring people, he finally got to you. "holy shit." he thought he said that in his head, but when you looked up, he knew he didn't.
with a furrow to your eyebrows, you give him a small smile as you say hello.
vinnie can't help but give himself a few extra minutes to stare, you were just so pretty. after a minute, he clears his throat and smiles.
"i'm sorry," he apologizes with a laugh. "just didn't expect to see such a pretty girl."
blushing, you thank him with a smile of your own. "you're not so bad yourself." you reply.
vinnie chuckles as he thanks you like you did him. overtime, the two of you ask each other questions about the other, along with interests.
"you play any video games?" he asks you, and you smile with a shake to your head.
it was honestly kind of hard to focus on conversation with him. the first thing you had noticed when he popped up on your screen was his eyes.
vinnie notices you staring at him and smirks. "am i really that nice to look at?" he chuckles.
you rid your thoughts quickly, almost being embarrassed that he caught you. you wouldn't have the confidence to admit it, but he was good to look at.
smiling, you quickly divert the conversation to his previous question. "not much of a gamer really, unless you count the sims." you say.
vinnie laughs and shakes his head. "nah i'm talkin' real games." he tells you.
rolling your eyes playfully, you give him a scoff. "oh so you're one of those people." you say with a laugh.
when vinnie heard you laugh he swore his heart skipped a beat, and not even to be dramatic. he watched as you went on and on about how the sims was real gaming.
he saw your smile and knew that's something he wanted to see more of. "woah hey, calm down." vinnie laughs as he cuts you off.
you smile, pushing a loose strand of hair behind your ear. "what? sims is real gaming, you nerd." you tell him.
vinnie takes in your appearance again and the clothes you're wearing. he can't get enough of you and he just met you.
you do the same, looking at him through the laptop screen, faint blush spreads across your cheeks.
vinnie stands up and the breath is almost knocked out of you when he does. he's wearing sweatpants and a white tank top, muscles on full display.
"you lookin' at my arms or...?" vinnie asks with a chuckle as he sees you staring. "because i can give you soethin' to look at."
laughing, you roll your eyes at him again. "definitely don't want to see that. i've seen too many."
vinnie chuckles and nods his head, completely understanding. although, it doesn't stop him from making a comment.
"you sure? because i do have a tattoo there, but if you don't want see i guess you'll never know." he shrugs.
you wish you were near him so you could hit his arm, instead, you result in a playful scoff and sarcastic reply. "you do not have a tattoo there."
the blonde laughs but shrugs again. "how'd you know if you've never seen it?"
this time, its your turn to shrug. "guess i'll just have to take your word for it." you tell him.
the playful banter continues for about another hour. neither you or vinnie thought you'd actually meet a decent person on this site tonight, but you're both happy you did.
"okay," you say, getting vinnie's attention back onto you and not his phone. "other than gaming, what do you do?"
vinnie stifles a laugh at the question, knowing his answer. "i stream." he tells you.
you already know his answer to your next question so he beats you to it by saying, "yes, i do stream video games."
you can't help but smile. "nerd." you comment with a laugh.
vinnie fires back. "you don't even play real video games, don't even give me that kind of attitude." he says with a laugh.
you brush him off with a scoff. that brought your attention back to the sims games and how you now suddenly got an idea.
"hey vinnie," you get his attention again and he looks up at you. "what if i told you i'm about to make you and me in sims?"
you were half joking, although you did think about the idea of it. vinnie furrows his eyebrows but has a smile on his face.
"that's cute, you should." he tells you, making you smile.
you nod, telling him you'll do it after you get done talking. the two of you talk more for a bit, jokes are made, smiles are shared along with laughs, and vinnie did make one or two comments about you blushing.
in all honesty, he was doing the same thing an you probably could notice. he couldn't help himself, he was starting to think he was falling a bit in love with you.
he did think it was way too soon to tell and you two had known each other for no longer than four hours.
silence fills you two for a minute before vinnie interrupts the silence with what you'd say is a crazy statement.
"you know what you could do if we ever do meet and possibly have a thing going?" he asks, and you don't reply right away, taking his words in.
you didn't want to rush anything at all, but the chemistry between the two of you was very noticeable. so, you raise your eyebrow as you wait for him to tell you.
he smirks, anf you instantly know its another one of his dirty jokes. "never had support from under the desk before."
the minute that sentence leaves his mouth your laughing loudly, quickly trying to stop yourself.
you give him that same look back, smirk turning into a smile as you tease him and tell him maybe one day it'll happen.
you both talk for a bit longer until the two of you decide to call it a night. before yo go, vinnie asks you for your number and you happily give it to him.
he was definitely falling in love with you now if he wasn't already.
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thank you nonnie for the request again !! i hope you liked it + everyone else reading this (:
comments, reblogs + feedback of any kind is appreciated <33
tags: @sturnioloshacker , @anqeliclust , @cosmicanakin , @42angelgirl , @leqonsluv3r , @khackerr , @louloulemons-blog , @visualbutterflysworld , @bernelflo , @slvthrs , @0strawberrysorbet0 , @supabhad , @kriissy4gov , @kayleighh , @hallecarey1 , @laylasbunbunny , @defnotayonna , @khxna , @jpg3 , @skye-44 , @eddieslut69 , @thesebitcheslovesosadotcom , @miilzzy
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lumberrobot · 2 months ago
Text
Floral Sentiments
pham hanni x fem!reader
notes: found this random prompt on this site so might as well try to write something with it 'cause I was too lazy to think of an actual plot oiaiwdiwd (adv happy birthday hanni :DD)
warning/s: first post wapondiwnf
genre: fluff
prompt: person a owns a flower shop and person b comes storming in one day, slaps 20 bucks on the counter and says “how do I passive-aggressively say fuck you in flower?”
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Hanni was used to quiet mornings in her flower shop. The soft hum of the shop's speakers, mingling with the subtle fragrance of fresh blooms, always put her at ease. Sipping her tea, she glanced at her to-do list—rearranging vases, watering the orchids—nothing out of the ordinary. She figured it would be a slow day. No major holidays loomed on the horizon, aside from those quirky ones no one really celebrated. Who the hell buys flowers for No Pants Day?
Mid-rearranging a vase of sunflowers, their golden petals glowing like tiny suns, the familiar chime of the doorbell broke her tranquility. She turned to see a girl, about her age, standing by the counter. Dark eyes, arms crossed, a scowl softening as she took in the shop’s surroundings. Hanni removed her gloves and walked over, curiosity piqued.
The girl slapped a $20 bill on the counter without so much as a greeting. “How do I passive-aggressively say ‘fuck you’ in flowers?”
Hanni blinked. Did I hear that right? She tilted her head slightly, unsure how to respond.
"Uh, excuse me, what?" Hanni asked, her voice tentative. She tried not to stare, but the girl's unexpected beauty and intensity threw her off balance.
“Did I stutter?” the girl snapped, though the sharpness in her voice softened. Her shoulders relaxed, and a small, awkward smile crept across her lips. “Sorry. That came out wrong.”
Hanni let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. “No worries,” she said, grinning. “Just... I’ve never had that kind of request before.”
The girl chuckled, her posture loosening even more. "Yeah, I figured. Thanks for not kicking me out. I’m Y/N, by the way."
“Hanni” she replied, still amused by the oddness of it all.
Y/N nodded, then sighed, frustration flickering across her face. “Long story, trust me.”
“Well,” Hanni said, glancing around the empty shop, “lucky for you, I’ve got all day.”
She gestured for Y/N to take a seat, and the girl hesitated before pulling out a chair from the corner of the small shop. As Y/N settled down, Hanni caught a glimpse of the tension in her face—something deeper than just the initial shock value of the request.
“So,” Hanni began, “what’s the story behind the flower-inspired ‘fuck you’?”
Y/N leaned back, exhaling as if she were about to confess a deep secret. She stared at a bouquet nearby, eyes narrowing. “So, there’s this guy…”
Hanni raised an eyebrow but stayed silent, letting Y/N explain. Flower shop drama wasn’t new to her, but Y/N didn’t seem like the type to send a bouquet for a simple apology.
“He’s my co-worker. Always making these little comments—like, pretending to compliment me but really putting me down,” Y/N muttered, frustration clear in her voice.
“Backhanded compliments,” Hanni said knowingly.
“Exactly. So, I want to give him something subtle that says, ‘I’m not as dumb as you think I am, and you should really watch yourself.’” Y/N smirked, her intensity returning.
Hanni’s eyes lit up with a playful glint. “Oh, I can work with that.”
She moved around the shop, scanning the flowers and tapping her chin in thought. A few minutes later, she started rearranging various blooms, carefully crafting a combination that would carry the perfect passive-aggressive undertone. Y/N watched as Hanni worked, her frown melting into curiosity.
The bouquet slowly took shape, flowers layered in ways that would seem beautiful at first glance but carried hidden messages for those who knew what to look for. Hanni worked in silence, fully focused, occasionally glancing up to see if Y/N approved. Y/N, for her part, seemed content to let Hanni work her magic.
After what felt like a short eternity, Hanni stepped back, admiring her creation. “There you go,” she said, giving a small, satisfied smile. “This should get your message across.”
Y/N inspected the bouquet with a satisfied smile. “This is perfect. Thanks, Hanni.”
As she reached for her bag, she paused, as if considering something. “Hey, one more thing…”
Hanni, still basking in the satisfaction of crafting such an unusual bouquet, looked up. “Yeah?”
Y/N hesitated for a moment, an almost shy look crossing her face. “If I wanted to, you know, take someone out on a date… What kind of flowers should I get?”
The question caught Hanni off guard. A small, inexplicable pang of disappointment bloomed in her chest. She forced a smile, her thoughts racing. So she likes someone already?
“Oh, well… I’d say something simple, elegant. Something that shows interest but not too over the top. Maybe…” She trailed off, resisting the urge to let her emotions show. After a brief pause, Hanni quickly pulled together a response that was vague but safe. “Something that makes a good impression, but leaves room for more.”
Y/N smiled, clearly liking the idea. “Got it. Thanks again, Hanni.”
With that, Y/N turned and left, bouquet in hand, the bell above the door chiming softly as she disappeared into the street.
Hanni stood there, watching her leave, a strange heaviness settling in her chest. She shook her head, trying to brush off the disappointment. It was silly.
Y/N was just another customer… right?
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The next day, Hanni arrived at her shop early, her thoughts still swirling with the remnants of her encounter with Y/N. As she approached the door, ready to unlock it, something caught her eye.
On the doorstep lay a beautiful bouquet, a gorgeous arrangement—simple, elegant, just like she had described, wrapped delicately in brown paper and tied with twine. A note was tucked among the flowers, and Hanni’s heart raced as she crouched down to pick it up.
Opening the note, she read:
“For you. Hope you like them. - Y/N”
Below the message, Y/N’s number was written neatly in her familiar handwriting. Hanni stared at the flowers, a warm smile spread across her face as she took in the arrangement. Her heart skipped a beat as she realized what had just happened.
As she finally unlocked the door and stepped inside, the sunlight streamed in, casting a warm glow over the flowers. She placed the bouquet on the counter, feeling a flutter of excitement in her chest.
Maybe Y/N wasn’t just another customer after all.
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cryptidghostgirl · 10 months ago
Text
Make You Wish Chapter Four -- Vox
Pairing: Alastor x Reader
Warnings: I don't think there are any for this chapter? Correct me if I am wrong.
Word Count: 1,225
Previous Part: Chapter Three -- A Reunion
Master Lists 
Hazbin Hotel Master List 
Make You Wish Master List
A/N I wasn't planning on posting this until tomorrow, but it seems to have some rather excited fans so here is chapter four (and the fourth thing I'm publishing today. We're very done for the day. I am tried and have actual work to do.) Also guys, I'm screaming. I accidentally deleted the whole things right before I was gonna post it. Thankfully I had a draft from when it was almost done save but like, god that sucked.
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On the screen was Vox, seated behind a desk.
"Top of the hour and we're discussing a certain has-been how has been spotted cavorting around town after a seven year absence." Vox was saying, a poorly drawn image of Alastor displayed on the screen to his left.
Y/n saw Alastor's ear twitch with irritation.
"Yeah." she sighed, folding her arms across her chest, "Vox has gone kinda crazy since you left. I told you, things got tough."
"Did anybody miss him? Did anybody notice? More on tonight's program." Vox said through the TV, shuffling a stack of papers.
Alastor changed the channel with another flick of his finger.
"Hun, don't worry yourself with it." Y/n advised, "He's still gonna be there tomorrow."
The new channel showed a talk-show set up, Vox-2-Nite, where Vox was both host and guest.
"So, the old Radio Demon is back in town." host Vox was saying to himself as guest.
"Why is he hanging around?" guest Vox asked, taking a sip from a mug that had 'fuck Alastor' written on the side.
"Al." Y/n warned, sensing her friends irritation growing.
"What does that mean for your family?" Host Vox asked before Alastor changed the channel again.
Vox was on the screen again, before a bright red curtain.
"Well, handily, I've got good news." he was saying theatrically, "He's a loser, a fossil, and I don't mean to sound hostel-"
Alastor changed the channel again. This time to one of Vox's mega church broadcasts. Vox stood in the center of the screen wearing a pope's hat with an inverted cross on it.
"But the demon is a coward!" he announced, his words matching the previous channels sentiments perfectly.
"Jesus, V." Y/n asked, eyes wide, "How many channels are you running this on?"
"You can take that as gospel. Pulling my viewers? Impossible. I'm visual, he's barely audible."
"Y/n." Alastor hummed, his eyes still fixed on the screen.
"Yeah?"
"You wont mind if I handle this quickly. We can have our little chat after, I promise. It wont take more than a moment."
"I don't know, Al..." Y/n sighed, crossing her arms and tapping her foot slightly, "This isn't good for you, letting him get under your skin like this."
Alastor changed the channel again. A cooking show appeared and Vox was standing before the oven, singing along to the music playing in the background.
"But he should've stayed away! While he hid in radio, we pivoted to video!"
Vox on screen turned to the oven as he sang, opening it and pulling out a deer's head on a plate. Y/n bristled at the site, her horns growing just the tiniest bit longer, her teeth just the smallest bit sharper.
"And now his medium is getting bloody rare!"
"Al?" Y/n asked sharply.
"Yes, darling?"
"I lied." Y/n turned to face him, "He took this shit musical. Rip him a new one."
"Oh!" Millie exclaimed, excitedly grabbing onto Moxxie's arm, "We're gonna get a show!"
Alastor's grin widened at Y/n's words, if that was even possible. He stuck his hand out to the side, his microphone materializing in his grasp.
"Lucky for me, I've got the best voice this side of the divide on my side." he noted, shooting Y/n a look.
Her eyes flashed red.
"You flatter me."
Alastor brought his microphone to his mouth, suddenly exceedingly calm. The imps present in the room watched in shock as his ears flattened along his head.
"Salutations, good to be back on the air!" he announced into the device, "Yes I know it's been a while since someone with style treated hell to a broadcast. Sinners rejoice!"
Vox's brow furrowed on the TV screen as he inched up close to the camera.
"What a dated voice." Vox shot back, clearly listening to Alastor's broadcast on the set of his cooking show.
"Instead of a clout chasing, mediocre, video podcast." Alastor continued, not showing any sign he had noticed the TV demon's insult, "Is Vox insecure, pursuing allure? Flitting between this fad and that, is nothing working?"
"Ignore his chirping!" Vox commanded from the TV.
Y/n laughed and, turning to face Alastor, realized the man held a hand out to her. With a smile, she took it and he spun her into his arms as he spoke. The music echoed through the office as Alastor raised the volume on the TV once again.
"Every day he's got a new format."
Alastor spun Y/n back out again as the pair began dancing.
"You're looking at the future!" Vox yelled back, "He's the shit that comes before that!"
As Alastor spun Y/n back into his arms, she laid one of her hands on top of his holding the microphone and pulled it closer to her face.
"Is Vox as strong as he purports, or is it based on his support?" she sang in a clear voice, Blitzo, Millie, and Moxxie's eyes widening with recognition at the sound, "He'd be powerless without the other Vees."
"That's true!" Alastor noted, pulling the microphone back to himself as Y/n let go of his hand and he spun her back out again.
"It can't be..." Moxxie muttered under his breath.
"Holy shit!" Millie cut him off, excitement creeping into her voice, "There's no way, Y/n is the guest star?"
"The fuck are you two talking about?" Blitzo asked, turning to Millie and Moxxie as they watched the couple continue to dance.
"Well, Sir," Moxxie began, fiddling with the cuffs of his jacket, "back before the Radio Demon went missing, he used to bring guests onto the show on occasion. There was one guest he never named during his broadcasts however. She mostly just sang songs and chatted with him but, she sounded an awful lot like Y/n did just now."
"You don't say." Blitzo hummed, his arms crossed as he turned back to Y/n and Alastor, "So much for little miss 'oh, my life has been so boring. You'd probably just fall asleep if I started talking about it!' She is so gonna get it later."
Alastor let go of Y/n's hand and leaned into the microphone, beginning to sing as well, using the music emanating from the TV as a base.
"And here's the sugar on the cream: he asked me to join his team!"
"Hold on!" Vox yelled.
"I said no and now he's pissy, that's the tea!" Alastor finished, ignoring the demon once again.
"You old timey prick!" Vox exclaimed, his face glitching slightly as Y/n wandered back over to Alastor.
She leaned an elbow on his shoulder, tilting her head to the side in amusement as they watched Vox struggle.
"I'll show you suffering!"
"Aww, the TV is buffering." Y/n said, leaning into the microphone, her voice dripping with sickly sweet pity.
"I'll destroy yoo-o-u-u" Vox exclaimed as his technical difficulties seemed to grow worse.
Alastor and Y/n exchanged a wicked pair of smiles as the TV flickered out. Shadows crept from the edges of the room, encircling their feet. Alastor held an arm out to Y/n once again which she took with a smile. In a flash of darkness, they were gone.
"What the fuck was that?" Loona asked, stalking into the room.
----
Next Part -> Chapter Five -- The Conversation
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natsgrave · 1 month ago
Text
MEAN IT | scarlett johansson
on your lips just leave it, if you don't mean it. i do not give permission for my work to be copied or translated on other sites. plagiarism is a crime!! main m.list whispers of heartache m.list
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Y/N and Scarlett had always been the couple that everyone admired. Their relationship was often described by friends and acquaintances as "perfect." Living in a cozy apartment in NYC, they had spent two wonderful years together. Their relationship was marked by sweet gestures, tender moments, and an unwavering bond. Scarlett, who was known for her strong and assertive personality, was always soft and gentle when it comes to Y/N. Every day, without fail, Scarlett would make Y/N feel special, telling her how much she loves her.
Every morning, Scarlett would wake up before Y/N, slipping out of bed quietly to prepare breakfast. She knew Y/N loved pancakes, so she made them from scratch, humming softly to herself as she worked. By the time Y/N woke up, the smell of freshly brewed coffee and warm pancakes filled the apartment.
"Morning, sleepyhead." Scarlett would say, a smile lighting up her face as Y/N shuffled into the kitchen.
Y/N would smile back, eyes still heavy with sleep. "Morning, love."
Scarlett would set a plate of pancakes in front of her, sitting down across the table. "Eat up. You've got a big day ahead."
Y/N would take a bite and sigh contentedly. "You always know how to make my mornings better."
One day, while Y/N was at work, Scarlett decided to surprise her with lunch. She knew Y/N had a hectic schedule, so she packed a homemade meal and headed to her office.
When she arrived, Y/N's eyes lit up with surprise and delight. "Scarlett! What are you doing here?"
"I brought you lunch," Scarlett said, holding up the bag. "Thought you could use a break."
They sat together in the small break room, sharing stories and laughter. Y/N couldn't stop smiling. "You always know how to brighten my day."
On Sundays, they had a tradition of spending the day in their pajamas, doing nothing but lounging around the apartment. Scarlett loved these moments, where they could just be themselves without any distractions.
They would cuddle on the couch, watching movies or reading books. Scarlett would often glance over at Y/N, who would be engrossed in her book, and feel a surge of love and gratitude.
"I love you, you know that?" Scarlett would say, brushing a strand of hair from Y/N's face.
Y/N would look up, her eyes sparkling. "I love you too, Scarlett. More than anything."
In the evenings, they enjoyed taking walks around their neighborhood. The city was always bustling, but in those moments, it felt like it was just the two of them.
Hand in hand, they would walk and talk about their dreams and future plans. Scarlett loved these conversations, where they could dream together.
"Do you think we'll always be this happy?" Y/N would ask, looking up at the stars.
Scarlett would squeeze her hand. "I know we will. I'll make sure of it."
On their anniversaries, Scarlett always went all out. One year, she surprised Y/N with a rooftop dinner. She had decorated the space with fairy lights and candles, creating a magical ambiance.
Y/N's eyes widened as they stepped onto the rooftop. "Scarlett, this is amazing!"
Scarlett pulled her into a gentle embrace. "Only the best for you, my love."
They danced under the stars, holding each other close. Scarlett whispered sweet nothings into Y/N's ear, making her giggle and blush.
"I can't believe how lucky I am to have you." Y/N said softly.
Scarlett smiled, kissing her forehead. "I'm the lucky one."
Some of their best moments were the quiet nights in, where they would simply sit together and enjoy each other's company. Scarlett loved to play with Y/N's hair, weaving it into intricate braids.
"You're so good at this." Y/N would murmur, her eyes half-closed in contentment.
Scarlett would chuckle softly. "I just like playing with your hair. It's so beautiful, just like you."
Y/N would blush and lean into her touch. "You're too sweet, Scarlett."
Scarlett had a habit of leaving little notes for Y/N around the apartment. Whether it was a simple "I love you" or a longer message expressing her feelings, these notes never failed to make Y/N smile.
One day, Y/N found a note tucked into her bag that read, "Thank you for being the light of my life. I can't wait to see you tonight."
Y/N felt a warmth spread through her chest. Scarlett always knew how to make her feel cherished and loved.
Sometimes, they would stay up late into the night, talking about everything and nothing. Scarlett loved these moments of vulnerability and openness.
"Do you ever think about the future?" Y/N would ask, her voice soft in the darkness.
"All the time," Scarlett would reply, taking Y/N's hand in hers. "And every time, I see you in it."
Y/N would smile, her heart swelling with love. "I can't imagine my future without you."
Whenever Y/N felt insecure or anxious, Scarlett was always there to reassure her. She would hold her close, whispering words of comfort and love.
"You're amazing, Y/N," Scarlett would say, her voice firm and sincere. "Don't ever doubt that. I love you more than anything in this world."
Y/N would nod, feeling a sense of calm wash over her. "Thank you, Scarlett. I don't know what I would do without you."
Every day, Scarlett made it a point to remind Y/N of her love. Whether it was a kiss on the cheek before heading out or a sweet text message during the day, she never let Y/N forget how much she meant to her.
One morning, as Y/N was getting ready for work, Scarlett wrapped her arms around her from behind.
"I love you," Scarlett whispered, kissing the back of her neck. "Don't ever forget that."
Y/N smiled, turning around to face her. "I love you too, Scarlett. More than words can say."
Despite all these sweet moments, Y/N noticed a change. Scarlett became distant, preoccupied, and often seemed lost in thought. Her usual warmth replaced by an unfamiliar coldness. It started with missed calls and shorter texts, and Y/N couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. The final straw came when Y/N stumbled upon a message on Scarlett's phone from Addison, Scarlett's ex of ten years.
Y/N's heart sank as she read the messages. They were friendly, but there was an undeniable familiarity and intimacy that made Y/N's blood run cold. She decided she couldn't stay silent any longer. That evening, as Scarlett walked through the door, Y/N confronted her.
"Scarlett, we need to talk." Y/N said, her voice trembling.
Scarlett looked up, her expression guarded. "What's wrong, baby?"
"I found messages from Addison on your phone," Y/N began, trying to keep her voice steady. "Why didn't you tell me she was back in your life?"
Scarlett's face paled, and she took a deep breath. "I didn't think it was a big deal. We're just friends now."
"Just friends?" Y/N's voice rose. "Why have you been so distant then? Why didn't you tell me about her?"
Scarlett sighed, running a hand through her hair. "I didn't want to worry you. Addison came back into my life suddenly, and it's been... complicated."
"Complicated how?" Y/N pressed, tears welling up in her eyes.
Scarlett hesitated before finally speaking. "Addison reached out to me. She wanted to meet up, and... I didn't hesitate to go. We've been seeing each other as friends, trying to be civil." Scarlett admitted, avoiding Y/N's gaze.
Y/N felt a sinking feeling in her chest. "Civil?" Y/N repeated, her voice breaking. "It doesn't seem like just civility, Scarlett. You've been distant, you've changed! What's going on?"
Scarlett looked at Y/N, pain etched on her face. "Seeing Addison again brought back a lot of memories, Y/N. Feelings I thought I had buried. We talked, and it was like we never lost communication. All the old feelings came rushing back."
Y/N's heart pounded in her chest. "What are you saying, Scarlett?"
"I... I still love Addison," Scarlett said quietly, the words hanging heavily in the air. "Seeing her again brought everything back."
Y/N felt like the ground had been pulled from under her. Tears welled up in Y/N's eyes. "So, in the two years we've been together, she was always in your heart? Then where was I, Scarlett? Did I ever mean anything to you?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
Scarlett closed her eyes, a single tear escaping. "You were never there, Y/N. I thought I could move on, that I could love you the way you deserve. But it was never fully you. It never became you."
The room fell silent as Y/N absorbed the painful truth. Her heart shattered into pieces. She had given everything to Scarlett, only to find out she was living in someone else's shadow.
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Y/N whispered, tears streaming down her face. "Why did you let me believe we had a future together?"
"I thought I could make it work," Scarlett replied, her own voice breaking. "I didn't want to hurt you. I thought if I just tried hard enough, I could let go of Addison."
"But you couldn't," Y/N said, her voice hollow. "And now I'm the one who's left broken."
"I'm so sorry, Y/N." Scarlett apologize.
"It's like, last night we were more than fine." Y/N said, letting out a teary laugh, "You only let me hold you because she can't." 
"Forgive me, Y/N." Scarlett said, reaching out to touch Y/N's hand, but Y/N pulled away, her eyes filled with hurt and confusion.
"Don't mess with my head," Y/N shook her head, anger and hurt mingling in her voice. "You shouldn't have told me you're falling if your feet is still on the ledge."
Scarlett stepped closer, her eyes pleading. "I need you, Y/N. I need you in my life."
"Don't tell me that you need me," Y/N shook her head, stepping back further. "You can't keep doing this to me. You can't keep saying you need me when you still have one foot in the past."
Scarlett tried to approach Y/N again, leaning in to kiss her forehead, but Y/N stepped back, holding up her hand to stop her. "Don't kiss me, no, don't kiss me right now."
Scarlett's eyes filled with tears. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I tried to move on, I tried to be the person you deserve, but I couldn't. Addison's presence brought back so many memories, so many feelings."
Scarlett's tears fell freely now. "I never meant to hurt you, Y/N. I thought I could love you and let go of Addison. But I failed. It was like old times, like no time had passed. We talked, and the spark was still there. I fell in love with her all over again. I'm so sorry. "
Y/N's heart shattered even more at Scarlett's words. She turned away, unable to bear the sight of the woman she loved admitting she loved someone else. "How could you do this to me? To us?"
Scarlett's voice was barely a whisper. "I'm sorry. I wish I could change how I feel, but I can't."
Y/N wiped her tears, her voice cracking. "I thought we had something special. I thought you loved me."
Scarlett stepped closer, desperate to make Y/N understand. "I do love you. But my love for Addison never went away. I thought it had, but I was wrong. I never meant to hurt you."
Y/N's voice was filled with resignation. "But you did. You hurt me more than I ever thought possible." Y/N took a deep breath, wiping away her own tears. "Scarlett, I loved you with everything I had. I gave you my heart, my soul, and you couldn't even see me. You were always looking back, never fully here with me."
"I know. And that's my biggest regret."
Y/N nodded, her resolve firming up. "I can't do this anymore. I can't keep pretending that everything's okay when it's not. You need to figure out what you really want, Scarlett. Because I can't be in a relationship where I'm second best."
Scarlett's heart broke as she realized the finality in Y/N's words. "I love you, Y/N. I do."
Y/N looked at her, pain etched across her face. "On your lips just leave it, if you don't mean it." she said softly, her voice breaking.
With that, Y/N walked out of the apartment, she felt a mix of anger, sadness, and confusion. The place that had once been a sanctuary now felt like a prison. She didn't know where she was going, but she knew she needed to get away from the pain, from the memories, from Scarlett. 
Scarlett was left standing alone, the weight of her choices heavy on her shoulders. Scarlett watched Y/N leave, her own heart heavy with regret. She knew she had made a mistake, one that had cost her the most beautiful thing she had ever had. But it was too late. The damage was done, and she was left to face the consequences of her actions alone. As Y/N disappeared into the night, Scarlett knew that she had lost something irreplaceable, and she had no one to blame but herself.
As Y/N walked through the bustling streets of New York, the city lights blurred by her tears, she knew that she would have to find a way to heal from this heartbreak. She had loved Scarlett deeply, but in the end, it wasn't enough. Now, she had to learn to love herself again, to find her own way in a world that had suddenly become so much darker. She needed to figure out her own feelings and decide what to do next. All she knew right now was that her heart had been shattered, and it would take time to heal.
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d1s1ntegrated · 2 months ago
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omg ur streamer shigaraki is SO MHMGGGFFFFF, ive been thinking ab shigaraki w his (super out of his league heaven sent) gf and how chat goes crazy when he does a gf reveal at like a 1 mil milestone or whatever.. GAWDDDDD
“chat is this real”
“How did he pull HER?” type beat
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streamer!shigaraki: gf reveal! 1mil subs :)
mini smau/lowkey crack
ignore how poorly made the tweets are i did my best 😔
█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒
"alright fucks we somehow made it to a million, i'm gonna finally prove im not lying and i do in fact know the touch of a woman"
chat going absolutely wild waiting for her to show up
instead he gets up, goes off cam, and returns with a cardboard cutout of some girl from high school dxd and the chat immediately spams L
->"loser we knew u didn't have a gf"
->"touch grass buddy come on"
->"go back 2 streaming games bro"
->"it's ok we're all a little delulu sometimes"
->"ur still my fav bro"
->"buddy...."
->"clapped"
->"not the dxd girl wtf"
->"ew"
->"LLLLLLLLLLLLLL"
->"troll"
he reads the chat out loud, stopping specifically on "troll". he smiles wide and nods
"yeah, i guess i am a troll. i dunno, what do you think babe?"
an unfamiliar voice rings out, muffled from the side; "you might be"
you come out from the side to "read the chat" better and they stop altogether, like chat literally dies for a few seconds
->"what."
->"WWWWWWWWWWW"
->"ain't no way"
->"HOW"
->"how much does he pay u"
->"NO SHOTTJWJW"
->"YO????????"
->"HE PULLED HER??????"
->"W"
->"IS THIS REAL??"
->"guys he's lying it's his sister"
->"he doesn't have a sister dumb fuck"
->"ON GOD??1?1?2"
->"CAN U BE MY GF TOO"
->"SHIG UR GF SO HOT PLS DONT DIE"
->"on my knees crying"
->" ('-')7 sorry we doubted u"
->" ('-')7"
->" (•_•)777777777"
->"W"
-> "w chain"
->"W"
->"W"
->"W"
you sit on his lap and he grins, laughing at the reactions of the chat
"i fucking told you"
you laugh and read the chats out loud, answering a few of them along the way
"no i'm not his sister, ew, it's very real, we've been together for a while now, also that cutout is mine, i bought it for the stream"
over the next few hours, both of your phones go off repeatedly with notifications. social media sites are booming with your reveal, and #shiggygfreveal becomes a top tag on twitter.
scrolling through the tag, you find multiple posts about how beautiful you are, how lucky he is, etc
u both finally decide to collab, which brings a huge number of followers up QUICKLY
chat is forever stunned and bowing at shiggys feet because of it ('-')7
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guys lmk if i should keep making this smau/other ones cause this was kinda fun ngl
hope u enjoyed :-3
fank u 4 the request sweet babe @yuckyyenaa ! 🥳🫶
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ki-yomii · 9 months ago
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beg | myg
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➥ pairing | min yoongi x f!reader
➥ word count | 1.2k
➥ warning(s) | 🔞 smut; dirty talk, mild degradation, mild praise kink, established relationship, rough oral (m receiving), throatfucking, teasing, pet names, throat bulge, studio sex, wet & messy, reader wears a necklace with yoongi's initial
➥ summary | requested from this - "Oh no, not until you beg." & "Relax your throat." With Min Yoongi :3
➥ notes | for anon~ hope you enjoy 🧡 un-edited, I’ll come back to fix things when it’s not 2 AM lol
masterlist | ask box | AO3
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The low hum of the A/C unit overhead and the whir of the computer fan kicking on is almost enough to drown out the wet gags and gargled breathing but only just.
Not that it really matters - the hours had long since crept past midnight, and Yoongi was meticulous when it came to the design of his studio.
Key pad, double doored, soundproofed to hell and back; the whole shebang.
Millions of won poured into the construction of the four walls that made up his altar, his church. Furthermore, not only did others give a wide berth when he's on-site at HYBE, but even fewer have the special privilege of being granted access to his private sanctum.
You're one of the lucky ones.
Mind, it took several (long) months of veiled suggestions and cajoling to get you to where you are now, but it was worth it in the end.
Watching a man so thoroughly married to his work set aside his convictions to give attention to your relationship doesn't sit right with you. Plus, it wasn’t sustainable in the long run - even though you appreciate the effort.
No, this arrangement is much better - the best of both worlds.
Not only do you get to spend time with him, he gets to share what he loves. A win-win for everyone involved, but especially for you when Yoongi is horny and agitated.
“Mm, come on, baby,” Yoongi husks, wicking away the mascara clinging to the swell of your cheek with a rough thumb, “I know you can take me all the way. Now, stop playing, and relax your throat.”
Burning eyes fluttering open, you take in the blurry upside-down view that greets you through clumpy lashes; a sea of dark wood, the pale stretch of his legs, the pool of black basketball shorts puddled around his ankles.
Propped up as you are, head dangling over the thin leather armrest of the couch, you can't get a good angle without giving yourself a crick. Little spasms are already shooting through your neck, and down in between your shoulders because of the lack of proper support.
Something you'll definitely be paying for later.
But you're not about to stop Yoongi.
Not when he has you laid out on your back with his cock in your mouth, both of you working towards stuffing it down your throat. Even if your lips are fucked raw and swollen, your chin slick with spit and pre-cum.
Your tongue stretches out to flick over the fat head of his cock when he slides free with a sticky pop. “Fuck yeah, just like that.”
You hum low in the back of your throat, threads of arousal shivering down your spine as your belly swoops at the low rumble of his voice, the delicate trace of his fingers along the sides of your neck.
He grunts when you dig the tip of your tongue into his weeping slit, lapping and swirling around the spongy crown.
“Heh, you’re such a filthy bitch for me, aren’t you,” Yoongi says, his voice breathless and cracking around the edges. “Now, are you ready to be a good girl and swallow my dick?”
Inhaling deep, you let your breath shudder from you on a shaky moan that teases the insides of his thighs, the base of his cock, “Yes, please. Want it, Yoongs.”
Yoongi hums, satisfied.
“Watch those teeth,” is the only warning you get.
Then he's cradling your jaw with his thumbs and nudging his hips forward to grind against your lips. Eyes sliding shut, you drop your mouth open into a relaxed circle for Yoongi to fuck into.
The initial slide is smooth, aided by the strings of spit and pre-cum clinging to the lower half of your face. Though trouble begins the deeper Yoongi presses towards the back of your throat.
Your muscles tense as your mouth spreads wider and wider to accommodate his girth. An ache settles deep in your temples, little shocks of discomfort shooting down through the hinges of your jaw.
Tears leak past your clenched eyes, the renewed burn of mascara stinging your ducts as your sinuses clog. You whine - a raspy, muffled sound as your tongue wriggles along the underside of his shaft.
He hushes you, and anchors a hand on your shoulder as the other reaches down to twine with your fingers digging into his thigh. “Doing so good for me,” Yoongi said, “fucking perfect, baby.”
Your pussy clenches, your legs tensing against the leather. Sweat gathers behind your knees, your hips shivering with the need to twist, shift, and find a modicum of friction that’ll relieve the ache building behind your navel.
“Yeah, come on, that’s it. Just a little - shit - hah, that - oh fuck!”
His hips jerk forward as you hollow your cheeks to the best of your ability, hissing as teeth scrape along the sides of his shaft as he bullies his way deeper.
And then, with a pop richoetting down your spine, the head of his cock passes the back of your throat.
“Oh, baby,” Yoongi curses, his frame wracked with tremors.
His thighs shudder against your ears, his hips tense with anticipation as he holds himself still. Your throat rebels, rippling like a vice around his shaft, milking him for all he’s worth.
“Feel’s so - feels so good. You take me so well, knew you could. You always do.”
Gagging, your head goes light and floaty at the sudden lack of oxygen, tiny cavities peppering your vision.
Then you focus on breathing through your nose.
In - one, two, three. Out - one, two, three.
Over and over again until the mounting animal panic subsides, and you're left with tingling limbs and a throbbing cunt.
Yoongi groans, “Fuck, that’s so hot.”
Thumbs bracketing the sides of your neck stroke over the visible bulge of his shaft straining against the chain of your necklace, the delicate ‘Y’ charm branding your skin.
It'll leave a welt everyone can see. A little mark to stake his claim. To remember him by when you're separated.
The thought gets you hotter than you care to admit.
“Can see myself in your throat, baby.”
At the praise, liquid fire pulses through your veins, and warmth blooms in your belly. Settling between your hips until your clit twitches.
Slick soaks through the seat of your panties, and you feel all at once so full, and so, so empty.
The scent of his skin - clean and clear. The musk of his cologne - earthy and masculine. The salt of him heavy on your tongue, his cock throbbing in time with his thundering heartbeat as you swallow around him reflexively.
It's enough to send you reeling with the desperation, the desire to feel him cum down your throat, to taste his pleasure.
Half feral, you try bobbing your head, fingers hooking around Yoongi’s hips to drag him into the cradle of your face deeper, faster, harder.
Only to be met with resistance as he refuses to move, to give in to the frantic movements.
Standing stock still, he lets you tug and whine and writhe until your efforts fizzle to nothing.
And only then does he respond, bending over your body to slide a hand between your thighs.
You jerk, hiccup at the feeling of his fingers inching past the soaked hem of your panties. Brushing over the silken folds of your cunt, teasing, testing the slick arousal with his knuckles.
“Oh no, baby,” Yoongi says, his voice a low rumble that vibrates through his chest into yours, “You gotta beg me first.”
631 notes · View notes
skythealmighty · 2 months ago
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why am i just now finding out about thisisnotawebsitedotcom i feel a little stupid.. then again i dont have the Book of Bill so maybe im lucky to know about it ???
#rocket talk #gravity falls #miss this show. anyway twink cipher fuckign jumpscared me
(3 notes)
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👓 the-nerdiest-glasses Follow
Why Flatland counts as an object show: an essay
Keep reading
🔧 warp-pipe-sfx Follow
Why Flatland does NOT count as an object show: a rebuttal
Keep reading
⛓️ chainsaw-massacres Follow
why flatland isnt an object show: its a book + movie you assholes
#this argument is fucking stupid its just flatland
(3,821 notes)
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🔘 join-my-evil-polycule-deactivated08142020 asked: Im going to tear apart your circuitboard until its broken irreparably
🌈 super-rainbow-epic-computer Follow
lol ok have fun w that 👍
also do u know any recipes for roasted pumpkin seeds the internets failing me rn and im cooking a big dinner for me and my bf
🔘 join-my-evil-polycule-deactivated08142020
Oh yeah sure https://www.jessicagavin.com/how-to-roast-pumpkin-seeds/#wprm-recipe-container-35845
🔘 join-my-evil-polycule-deactivated08142020
Wait why am I telling you this go die I hate you
🌈 super-rainbow-epic-computer Follow
thx for the help!
☝i-date-iconic-posts Follow
Date of origin: November 3rd, 2021
(216,025 notes)
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❌ mephonex-deletes-your-favs Follow
~~Welcome to MePhoneX deletes your favs!!~~
I'm mod Xav (the only mod rn - -"), here to cause trauma to your favorite characters :)! PLEASE keep in mind that submissions will take a while to get to, because I have to photoshop out the limbs + background or even completely recreate someone's object if they're transparent!
The background flag is in the header and the X (recreated from an image of MePhoneX) I overlay on top is the profile picture if you want to make your own :) just @ this blog and I'll reblog it!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~❌~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
RULES ABOUT SUBMISSIONS:
NO INANIMATE INSANITY CONTESTANTS. I would like to avoid Apollo's Dodgeball thanks (plus it's insensitive)
No algebralien or algebralien-adjacent characters! I love those guys too I get it but I honestly don't have a good method of 'deleting' them planned. Feel free to do it on your own time though!
If someone asks me to take down a submission with them in it I will do it without questions. This is for a variety of reasons, but I think you get it.
Alright, that's it! Have fun :)
#not xed out #mod xav #pinned post #your fav is #your fave is #mephone #mephonex #inanimate insanity #ii2 finale
(681 notes)
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📁 sticky-note-hit-post Follow
has anyone else wondered why this spaghetti code webbed site can connect across DIFFERENT UNIVERSES??? or is that just me
(2,416 notes)
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🦀 thesamepictureofbaxtereveryday Follow
follow for the same picture of my crab every day!!!!! look at him :D
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(3 notes)
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anonymous asked: greeny how does it feel to be technically a higher being than most other people on the site
🟢 greenyguy Follow
sir this is a wendys
#i didnt order an existential crisis today :(
(37,102 notes)
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🎤 screamintothemic Follow
todays liveblog!! B)
🎤 screamintothemic Follow
knife and suitcase made it to the finale!! hell yeah so proud of them
🎤 screamintothemic Follow
balloons talk with suitcase didnt go so well :/ i hope they can get some alone time without anyone else so they can like talk properly next time
🎤 screamintothemic Follow
mepad???
🎤 screamintothemic Follow
oh i think the finale challenge is happening
🎤 screamintothemic Follow
baseball looks worried but lightbulb's brushing him off :|
🎤 screamintothemic Follow
ojs backing away from paper??? wh
🎤 screamintothemic Follow
WHJDT THE FUCK
🎤 screamintothemic Follow
WAIT I HAVENT SEEN SOAP IN A WHILE WHERE IS SHE???
🎤 screamintothemic Follow
OH GOD
#mics ramblings #SOAP???!??
(11 notes)
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anonymous asked: evil woman are so hot <3 i will do whatever you want queen
🌐 dr-who-could-never Follow
Awwww, this means a lot to me, anon! Could you find Film Reel for me and doxx him? That would be really helpful <3
#He's been evading me #It's really annoying #Hard to take over the world when I have to worry about him 🙄
(6 notes)
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🥄 only-a-spoonful Follow
WHY DO I KEEP GETTING SENT ASKS ABOUT PREGNANCY?!
#I'M GOING TO QUIT TUMBLR AT THIS RATE.
(47,284 notes)
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📗 journal-of-secrets Follow
if this fuckass hand keeps showing up at the edge of my vision i'm going to hit something
📗 journal-of-secrets Follow
#maybe hes in love with you
what the hell is wrong with you.
143 notes · View notes