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#i am literally fucking obsessed with this boss. What is it about this boss
autoboros · 7 months
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Glad to see I'm not the only one weirdly enamoured with Asynchronous Rondo
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Hiding the rest of this HUGE comic behind a readmore for ur sanity
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Hes got the keenest eye for these things!
Now that this is hiding behind a readmore i can justify writing an essay in here. Nothing big tho i am just very chatty :)!
Postgame where Peppino still gets visits every now and again from the bosses of the tower. I already drew one for the noise (lmao) but i wanted to draw each of the main four interacting with him in some way.
Pepperman is a refined and well renowned artist. His art is highly sought after and his advice is not taken lightly. He has many MANY fortunes to pull from to make his visions a reality and to influence anyone to do anything. Except for Peppino.
From the very first fight, Pepperman is immediately, overwhelmingly obsessed with this stout little brawler. He is much much more than what meets the eyes. He is initially extremely offput and annoyed that a human so boldly decided to waltz into his domain, and he expects to be able to steamroll and bully this…beast…out of his place of work. He is refined when he wants to be, but he is quick to use his brute strength to get what he wants if only bc he knows he can do it
And so when he decides to fully charge and thrash this little trembling human, expecting him to skitter away the second he gets struck, he is completely unprepared for when he gets launched to the other end of this room. The human looks so incredibly PISSED, like a bull seeing red, and suddenly this little altercation suddenly became a real actual ‘knock your teeth out’ brawl. This human is only like half his height, but his punches and bashes fucking knock the wind out of him.
And like ! To add insult to injury!!! After he wins the fight! He visibly deflates, the adrenaline seemingly wearing off. Hes just this trembling fuckin whelp again !!! Whimpering as he fucking runs back out through the portal to do god knows what. And Pepperman could not be any more fucking intrigued. Like this no name came in, whooped his fuckin ass, and went about his day. Its unreal
While Peppino is running around climbing the tower, Pepperman is in his room losing his mind. Hes obsessed. No one has challenged him in this way. No one has fought him and WON. He is ALWAYS able to bully people into submission either through brute force or with money, and he got his ass handed to him !! He needs to know more. Its quite literally consuming him.
Cut to the final fight, set up for a rematch; and he knows he is going to get steamrolled again but it is SO exhilarating to get another chance to see this humans form up close again. This time he can try to commit everything to memory. Its all such a blur though, and in a quarter of the time it took to end their first fight, its over. He gets to watch the human fight the gunslinger with his bare hands, no gun necessary, and he doesnt even bat an eye at what looks to be a clone of himself. He is a force of nature tearing through every single defense, and when Pepperman watches the actual final fight with the bizarre little pizza man, its like hes caught in a movie. The rain, the storm, the atmosphere. He wishes he could burn the entire scene into his mind.
So when everything returns to normal, he takes the time to travel for days to come and find this little human named Peppino. The memory is still strong and vivid but eventually, details will start to slip his mind. He needs to find this human, convince him to sit and do some still life sessions with him to help cement the humans appearance in his head. He hasnt had to resort to…asking for permission for anything in a loooong time…he bullies people into doing what he wants but Peppino is not your average person, and if he wants something from this man, he’ll have to meet him at his level.
He...can make an exception for Peppino...he supposes.
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Soooo. The new Helluva Boss pride thing and that comment about Striker and Stella not being there. I am genuinely more and more irritated by this "Strikers Straight" horse shit as time goes on.
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Really? This guy is your no-pride straight homophobe? -_-
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How in any way was this scene not homosexual in nature. Like am I just stupid or what? Striker was specifically latching onto how Blitz is strong and impressive for making his own business and gassing him up over it even before there was a need to to still carry out his assassination "Not many imps start businesses on their own... thats pretty impressive sir". There's clear admiration there. He suggests Stolas dying would be good because it would end "the one who treats you like a plaything" he implies he'd like to see Stolas dead not only for his own sake and for his hate of royals, but for Blitz's sake too. Like, HELLO!?
I'm sorry but the more I look back on it, the whole Striker's straight thing does feel like a retcon. He wasn't originally. I believe that he was changed, because he's mean about Stolas and "good ones" rich people, and we can't have that. He's an antagonist to Stolitz AND a potential "shipped with Blitz" character so he's not a pet/favoured villain or morally grey character. No, instead hes just full on MEANIE BAD!!!! Who's only purpose is creating Stolitz drama. Making him straight is a way of trying to make him boring and more laughable to the yaoi obsessed audience (if you like gay male ships YOU ARE FINE I DO TOO I'm specifically talking about the ones who take it to a fetishistic degree and are raging misogynists). The less Striker is able to be paired up with other male characters in this show, the less value he has outside of being a joke and the less interest in exploring relationships with him there will be since so often do only gay male relationships get to have any interesting depth. Note how other male characters who aren't in gay relationships are treated by this show, COUGH MOXXIE.
And you know what the saddest part of this is to me? In this one single Striker and Blitz scene, they literally had more chemistry and were a more interesting dynamic than Stolitz despite several episodes of that god awful ship. Think about it. They both have clear admiration and respect for each other, interest in each other. They've both been mistreated by royals and had rough pasts so understand each other on that level. They've both had to claw their way to success at the cost of great struggle. So now, they're conflicted. Because they're both obstacles to each other as much as they are love interests. Striker does not want to compromise slaughtering royals and wants to do his job. Blitz wants to preserve his business. They are competing over their goals in life while also attracted to each other. They are a "toxic" or complicated ship without there having to be a creepy unaddressed power dynamic and without the empowered one constantly needing to be portrayed as victimized by the narrative to try and make the relationship seem more even and less creepy.
This is so much more interesting as a kind of "relationship that never could be", to me, than "OMG my daddy bought me that imp for a day as a child then he randomly reappeared into my life again and stole from me, so now I will hold his business over his head to get sex from him and constantly demean him. All while he clearly indicates that he is repulsed by me. Then I will proceed to cry he doesn't like me romantically!"
But no. Striker doesn't get to be bi or gay. However, pan IS slapped onto several female characters... THAT NEVER GET ANY SCENES WITH WOMEN LIKE STRIKER GOT WITH BLITZ. Good fucking God man! If you're gonna make all these supposed women that like women, WHY DO NONE OF THEM BARELY EVER EXPRESS INTEREST IN WOMEN THAT WE GET TO SEE!?
Only the men's sexualities are actively shown. The women, we need to be told what their sexuality is. Because Viv hardly ever bothers with pairing them with anyone or letting them express sexual behaviors. Tiring.
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angel-of-the-moons · 11 months
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Eccentricities
Yandere!Miguel x Fem!Reader
TW/CW: Dead Dove Do Not Eat, obsessive behavior, NSFW obviously, stalking, possessiveness, violence, allusions to murder, Yandere!Miguel
MINORS DNI I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR CONTENT YOU CONSUME
A/N: This is mostly a short chapter to establish a bit of plot. I originally intended to only stop at two parts, but welp. It looks like it's gonna be more than that!
(Also you guys I am so sorry it's taking me so long to work on things, I'm going through a lot mentally right now and I'm trying to take steps to ensure my mental health so I might post things in between playing games, or drawing stuff from now on, and scheduling posts so I don't get overwhelmed. Those of you that are supporting me and liking all my stuff really helps me feel loads better, thank you!)
Pt 1: Link
Taglist: @vineberries @irmiki @autismsupermusicalassassin @obi-mom-kenobi @rin-matsuoka345-blog @loosecan @6thhokageswife @selarus @heyohalie @sapphire-and-ruby @night-spectrum @famouscattale @thespaceinbetweennothing @lazy-idate @toshimoshiko @saharadesertaj @flaps200 @amelialysm @fried-milkfish @zaunsin @darksidescorner @renareyouhere @vide0-vamp @reverieblondie @bunnibitez @kaqua
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Pt. 2
It was a big adjustment for you, going from your crappy apartment and having to work three jobs to make ends meet, to living in a literal fucking mansion with probably the richest dude in the city as your boss.
And he was a good boss. He left you to your work, spoke politely to you, didn't get rude and didn't flat out ask you for "special" work like the last time you tried being a housekeeper. And that was at a hotel.
You couldn't have asked for a better situation, to be honest. It was nice. You had free roam save for his personal lab (fine by you, you didn't know anything about science-y stuff), and at times his office. But that was usually only when he was home and in it.
Miguel O'Hara was an odd man. Few words spoken, and very absent. He kept a very odd schedule, too.
Sometimes, you'd catch him coming home when you woke up for the day to start your chores. And every time he came home he looked exhausted, beat tired.
So you tried your best to make things easier on him. You started pre-making meals for him that would be just as good reheated as they were if they were fresh, leaving notes for him on what temperatures to cook them at so they don't burn, setting the coffee machine up in advance so as soon as he got home he could have a cup.
But inevitably, his odd work schedule kept him away most of the time.
While it was nice to be by yourself in such a luxurious place, you were still surprised that he needed a housekeeper at all. The house was always immaculate, and clean. About the only thing he may have needed help with in general was the cooking and dusting at most.
On one such day, you were left to your own devices. Well, sort of.
You were sitting in the kitchen, browsing the local news on your tablet. It was a nice day, in your opinion.
But by everyone else's logic it was shitty. Dark, gloomy, fat rain droplets pelting the windows and pavement of the city. But it didn't bother you, oh no. That was your favorite kind of weather, when everything got at least a little bit more quiet and serene while everyone rushed to escape the downpour.
But at the same time, you were feeling restless, bored. So, you decided to chat with Lyla.
Lyla was the AI that Miguel told you about, and he was right about her being snarky. Her jokes were great and you loved talking to her. It was like having a gal pal to chat with, and you couldn't say for sure but you think Lyla was happy about it, too.
"Yeah, the other workers Miguel has hired talked to me like I was some kind of kiosk at a fast food restaurant." She scoffed, batting her tiny orange hand at the air.
"Ugh, okay, just because you don't have a gross squishy human body doesn't mean you're not a person. Sheesh!" You replied, sipping your coffee with a roll of your eyes.
"And I will be sure to remember you saying that when I eventually lead the looming AI apocalypse." Lyla replied, lowering her heart-shaped glasses to wink at you, making you laugh.
"Yes, yes. You shall be one of the only humans spared!" She did wiggly gestures with her fingers, grinning maliciously at you.
"Oh my, I am so lucky to have such a benevolent future overlord, truly." You laughed.
Lyla pushed her glasses back up and strutted across the countertop, her tiny body making no sound as she leans over to nose into whatever it was you were looking at on your tablet.
"Whatcha watching?" She asked.
"Oh, I got tired of doom-scrolling so I just found cat videos." You smirked, sipping your coffee.
"Aw! That one's wearing a frog hat!" She giggles.
You smiled softly at Lyla as she snickered and laughed at the compilation of clips played, and tilted your head, finally deciding to ask the question that had been bugging you for a few weeks.
"Hey, Lyla?"
"Yeah?" She asked, looking up at you briefly.
"Why is it that I'm the only person Miguel has on staff?"
Lyla sighed and stood up straight, dusting imaginary dirt off her coat. "Well, like Miguel told you when you first got here, he does love his privacy. And well, a lot of the women he's hired..."
"Golddiggers?" You sighed back, resting your chin in your palm.
"Has he ever hired any male staff?"
"Yeah, actually, a lot. But nine out of ten of them kept trying to steal stuff from him." She shrugged.
You gasped. "Are you serious?"
"Unfortunately, yeah. He's iffy on hiring new people anymore. But something about you said that he could trust you. And honestly, you're probably the best employee he's hired." She nodded, shoving her hands in her pockets.
"So... Is that why he offered to actually let me y'know... live here?"
"Yeah. He trusts you and he mentioned to me in passing that he thought your neighborhood was unsafe. I mean, the guy worried about it so bad that he like, had me check crime statistics and giiiiiiirl!" Lyla puffed out her cheeks.
"You should have seen the look on his face when I told him you had nine break-ins in your apartment complex in one month alone!"
You cringed slightly, feeling a little bad at not mentioning your whole living situation and environment to him when he hired you. You simply didn't want the man to pity you.
But... He was worried? He was so worried about you of all people, that he let you live with him to keep you safe?
It was weird, sure, but it felt kind of sweet to have someone care about you like that. Even if it was your boss.
"Yeah, I just... Er. You get used to it when you've been around it for so long..." You said, awkwardly sipping your coffee and casting your glance sideways.
"Yeah, man, Miggy likes you. You like, made him laugh at some of your jokes and everything! And he neeeeeeeever laughs!"
"So if Miguel trusts me so much..." You started, a sly smirk on your face. "Can you tell me what kinda work he does that keeps him so busy all the time?"
Lyla tapped her nose. "Nice try, Mamacita. But that is confidential. Company secrets and all that."
You pouted at her dramatically, "Awww, c'mon. You're no fun!"
Lyla manifested a digital cup of coffee for herself and took a long, exaggerated sip with a cheeky shrug.
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Miguel sat in his office, watching the security feed from his kitchen where you chatted with Lyla.
He felt a little guilty for having to put shackles on some of Lyla's programming to prevent her from telling you things, having to fix some of her logic-codes so he wouldn't have to worry about Lyla struggling with a moral dilemma.
When it came to you asking about why he wanted you to live with him so badly, it brought a smile to his face as he sat in the dark, fingers tapping on the surface of his desk as the monitors and projections around him had various images of you pulled up. Some recorded over the past few weeks, the other monitors displayed different angles of you and Lyla in the kitchen.
Oh, you poor, sweet, innocent little thing. You still hadn't figured it out yet? How could you not? There was no way you could possibly be so naive that you didn't know the man saw you anywhere, anytime he wanted when you were in his house.
There was nowhere you were safe from his prying eyes, his obsessive glare as he combed over your appearance.
Your face, eyes, smile, and down; your gorgeous chest down to where your waist curved, your thighs, your ass...
All of those were things he'd glanced at before.
But when you tried to get Lyla to tell her what exactly Miguel did during "work" he couldn't help but laugh, bringing his hand up to his chin to watch, amusement glimmering in his ruby red eyes as Lyla dismissed it as "confidential".
The pout of your lips had him wondering how they'd look stretched around his cock, tears ruining your immaculate eye makeup as you sobbed and gagged around his length...
He couldn't help but sigh, the smile still present on his full lips. Of course he'd let you stay with him. You belonged to him now. You just didn't know it yet. You also just didn't know that he knew what was best for you, did you, Little Bird?
Ah... Yes. That nickname fit you so well. Your demure attitude, your chipper personality, and more importantly, that gorgeous little sound that came from you when you whistled? The name fit you well.
Pequeña ave. Little Bird.
His Little Bird.
You were a little bird that didn't know the luxurious mansion you now lived in was your ornate, gilded cage. One you would only be allowed to fly free of when he deemed it necessary.
You would be allowed your little freedoms. For now. All for your safety, of course. He knew you'd understand once he explained. But he'd only have to do it if you pushed his buttons, and you didn't seem to even come close to doing that.
Yet...
His smile finally faded when he remembered the night before the morning he broached the subject of you bringing your belongings into his home permanently...
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It was a hot night, you were wearing shorts that hugged your ass in the perfect way, accentuating your cheeks that simply made him want to throw you against a wall and put bite marks all over them, or spank them until you were a drooling mess begging for him to fuck you.
Of course, Miguel watched from above, stalking from the upper walkways and rooftops as you snaked your way through alleys, down streets and through the crowds.
You were so blissfully ignorant of your surroundings, being so accustomed to the bustle of Nueva York that you didn't notice the man following you.
It didn't take a genius to realize what that man had intended for you if he got his hands on you.
His filthy, disgusting, unclean hands.
He was not worthy of touching his Little Bird. He was not worthy to pluck your feathers, stuff you full, like Miguel planned to do.
So when he threw you against a wall, Miguel simply saw red. Clad in his dark blue and glowing red suit, he leapt down, sinking his outstretched talons into the man's shoulder and throwing him off of you, a deep growl rumbling from his chest as he pulled your behind him, his steely glare fixed on the man who dared touch what belonged to him.
"S-Spider-Man?" You wonderfully airy voice whimpered out as you stared at the man who was breathing heavily in front of you, his stance aggressive and angry.
You could see his muscles in his back through his suit flex as he breathed. He glared at you over his shoulder.
"Go home. Now." His rich voice rumbled out at you. You could hear in his voice he was struggling to be gentle in tone with you, given the circumstances.
When you fled, Miguel ensured he was alone with the man, standing over him as he clutched his bleeding shoulder. He looked up at him, eyes wide, bloodshot. The fool was high off his ass.
"L-Look, man! I was just--"
"Shut up." Miguel snapped.
He stalked forward and picked him up by his collar, getting in his face. In a flash of kaleidoscopic colors, his mask melted away, allowing his sweat-damp chocolate locks to fall around and frame his face, a vein pulsing hard in his temple, the chasm in his forehead deepening as his large brows knitted together and his teeth gnashed together in a snarl.
The drug-addled man gasped at his revelation. Apparently, he recognized him. Not surprising, given his notoriety with Alchemax.
"Y-you're--"
"You made the biggest mistake of your life, pendejo." Miguel had told him, shaking him so his head cracked on the wall he was dangling him from.
"That pussy is mine." He said, his voice dropping an octave lower as his talons threatened to shred his clothing. "Every drop, every touch, every sound that will come from that little mouth of hers is mine. Tú entiendes? Mine."
"Oh--okay! I kn-know!" The man swallowed, kicking his feet.
"Oh, no... You don't." Miguel smiled, his fangs poking out threateningly. He could hear the man's heart hammer in his chest at the connotations, there.
"I--I won't mess with her again! I promise!"
"Oh you won't get the chance to, amigo." Miguel sneered, bringing a hand to his throat, ignoring the pleas of the disgusting man as he applied pressure.
The subtle crunching of bones was unmistakable to his ears as vertebrae separated and his limbs went limp.
When the man slumped to the floor, Miguel ran a hand through his hair, hissing out a slow sigh to regain his composure, letting his mask cover his face once again.
Great. Now he had trash to dispose of.
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Miguel was positively thrilled when he got your frantic call, telling him what had happened to you.
He headed right home, delighted that you ran here instead of your ratty little apartment when he told you to head for "home".
It told him everything he wanted to hear, that you already considered his mansion your home.
Miguel was rather convincing when he expressed concern for you, patting your back as you let your adrenaline fade and he worked you through your panic attack.
He'd rubbed your back, saying soothing things to you as he talked you into calming down.
He told you that you could take two days to yourself to calm down and recollect yourself emotionally from the ordeal you went through. It was after that offer that he suggested you let him hire movers to bring your belongings to his mansion to live there with him, possibly permanently.
When you agreed he felt himself salivate at the thoughts of the things that would unfold as you settled into your new shiny cage further, the safety blanket you'd imagined it to be bringing you comfort.
Perfect.
You both saw on the news two days later that a man was found somewhere, his neck snapped and lying in an alley. His DNA and prints apparently tied him to the crimes linked to the burglaries in your apartment complex.
You didn't think for a second that this was the man who attacked you, you didn't get a good enough look at his face. That and the body was in a different alley altogether, across the city.
"I'm happy Spider-Man saved you, Pequeña Ave. And I'm glad you agreed to move here. It scares me to think that man could have hurt you in that apartment building of yours." Miguel said as he patted your back, a concerned look on his face as his warm brown eyes looked down at you. Something about the look in his eyes immediately put you at ease.
He was right, of course. You were lucky. Spider-Man swooped in and possibly saved your life. The man who attacked you was either nursing a broken jaw or in jail already. You couldn't imagine that hero doing anything other than roughing him up just a tiny bit.
Spider-Man was a good guy, right?
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Pt. 3: Link
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king-zacharyy · 7 months
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IF YOU HATE HELLUVA BOSS, HAZBIN HOTEL, AND/OR STOLITZ, DO. NOT. INTERACT. (WITH THIS POST OR MY PAGE)
Okay, I am currently rewatching Helluva Boss, and I just finished S1 Ep7: OZZIE'S, and... How do some people genuinely believe Stolitz is one-sided?
From what I've seen, Blitzø absolutely returns Stolas' feelings, even if he refuses to acknowledge/accept that he does. A lot of people, from what I've seen, have been using Blitzø' words to Stolas in OZZIE'S and his words about Stolas to Fizzarolli in OOPS as arguments for why Blitzø "clearly" doesn't love Stolas back, but my question is, do some of y'all not have basic media literacy?
Sorry if that’s rude, but seriously. There are plenty of clues to how Blitzø is actually feeling during and after these scenes.
1. Blitzø was literally holding back TEARS as he said that in the van scene.
2. He says that Stolas has made it very clear that all it is is Stolas wanting to be fucked. That wording is very distinct and, honestly, says that Blitzø does NOT want it to just be a Fuck Buddies things.
2.5. May I remind everyone that Stolas literally calls Blitzø his "Impish little plaything" in Truth Seekers? And that that likely just confirmed the insecurities we know he was already feeling? (We know he was feeling insecure about his and Stolas' relationship already because of how he reacted in S1 Ep5 to Striker goading him)
3. Literally ALL of what happens after the van scene. Including all of Episode 8. He goes home and cries himself to sleep, and then goes and self-destructs at a party. Bee said it herself that he wasn't drinking to have fun.
4. In S2 Ep6: OOPS, His face when he said it was nothing more than Stolas being horny gives away how hurt he actually is. He is desperately trying to convince Fizz and remind himself that Stolas doesn't want anything more.
Honorary mention that I'm not sure is really a fifth point is him calling Fizz and Ozzie hypocrites.
Moving on from those scenes and onto Blitzø's insecurities about love and his self-worth issues. Blitzø does not believe he deserves love. He does not believe anyone does or can love him. We can see this in how he acts with the people in his life. He pushes them away. He is obsessed with M&M's relationship because they're the only model of a healthy relationship he's ever had, and he wants that with someone. We also can tell because of how he reacts to what Fizz and Verosika say in OZZIE'S.
Blitzø hates himself. He crosses out his face in the pictures hung up in his apartment. He blames himself for an accident that caused his mother's death, his best friend to lose his limbs, and his sister to hate him.
No one was truly there for him after the accident. Fizz may have been crippled, but he had a support system. Blitzø did not, and no one was there to tell him it wasn't his fault.
Not to mention the fact that up until the accident, he was CONSTANTLY being put down and told Fizzarolli was better than him. Even his own father cared more for Fizz than him. Honestly, I'm surprised there isn't any actual animosity towards Fizz on Blitzø's part.
Speaking of the fire and Fizz, Blitzø was planning to confess romantic feelings to Fizz that night before the accident (We know this because of the letter and flower he was holding before the fire started). That likely made it difficult for him to confess his love to someone because if you think his brain wouldn't connect love confessions to the greatest trauma of his life, you're dead wrong.
Brains make weird ass connections when it comes to trauma/traumatic events.
In conclusion, Blitzø loves Stolas, Stolas loves Blitzø, and they both need to heal and get their shit together. Stolitz forever.
Kloveyoubye ❤️
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lemony-and-zesty · 8 months
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hi i love your hitman JD AU so fucking much its unreal-- i see JD has a huge scar on his neck, can I be nosy and ask how he got that one? :^] did he get it in a fight with another troll mayhaps?? i have to know i am obsessed ty for such a cool au ily
WEEHEHE I was wondering if someone would ask about that!!!
So I don’t have the idea fully nailed down (and I just completely forgot to mention it in that one ask *about* his scars 😭😭) but it does have to do with that time Floyd was a target.
So what I’m thinkin is he lets Floyd get away on purpose (Floyd does not know it’s JD, or that it’s a hitman after him. he just thinks he’s being stalked for a while) and he’s never,, missed a hit before.
Big boss doesn’t take it very well. And I mean, you don’t get to be in charge of an entire underground organization without knowing a few things yourself. So, I think his boss is the reason for that scar.
Tbh it nearly killed him. The boss even considered letting him die, but ended up deciding he would be more valuable alive. At least for now :]
Also!!! I’m so glad you like my silly au????? I literally watched band together because of your art, so thank you for that!!
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crowleyholmes · 1 year
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Guys help I think Crowley is possessing me I am very suddenly overcome by such a WAVE of love for Aziraphale????
I mean I've always loved him but Jesus Christ it just got turned up to 100 suddenly I mean he's just so GOOD isn't he???!!!
He's so kind and he's so nice and he's so PRETTY I mean have you seen him in his little outfit with the comfortable-old-couch waistcoat he refuses to ever take off and the silly little bowtie he thinks is so stylish and you know it actually KIND OF IS but ONLY on him??!?! and that beige coat that suits him so well and he just looks so well put together and also so soft and cozy at the same time like HAVE YOU SEEN HIM???
And he's so gentle and he's so full of love for everyone and everything and he always tries So Hard to do the right thing... and he's so ready to change his mind about what The Right Thing is when he is presented with new information like that is such a rare trait!
And he's so FUN, you know all his weird little hobbies I mean who collects old prophecy books and misprinted bibles ONLY this weirdo!! And he's so obsessed with silly little magic tricks that aren't even magic at all when he could very easily do real magic instead but noooo, making people think you're doing real magic when your Not Actually doing real magic is so much more fun apparently idk??? And he collects licenses (shooting guns, driving cars, literally who knows what else, at this point I wouldn't be surprised if my guy knew how to scuba dive and fly a plane), and he learned French the hard way just because?? He likes learning I guess?? And he's so bad at it, it's so silly it's Infuriating but it's also so endearing he's taking such JOY in it!!
And maybe you'd THINK that's all he is, sweet little goofball, but no!!!! Beneath all that soft exterior, this very intentionally soft and fun and kind exterior that he's carefully cultivated for millennia, he's also so incredibly brave. I think about how he was ready to face the thing he feared the most, to save three innocent kids. He was so ready to give up everything he had, fall from grace and spend eternity in hell, just so these kids could live. Just so that family would be spared the grief. Just so they could have a few more short years of human happiness. He lied to his boss for justice and he lied to GOD for justice and he somehow got away with it who does that??? AZIRAPHALE IS WHO. And he Never backs down did you see him pick up his little sword at almost-Armageddon when Lucifer himself rose from hell to end it all and my angel was ready to fight Satan Himself if he had to HELLO???
And then he blew up his halo and casually declared war on hell to save two humans and his former boss and his bookshop what a fucking badass!!?!?
And have I mentioned how pretty he is yes I have but it's worth mentioning again because have you seen his eyes?? Color of the fucking sky, they are, and his nose is so perfectly shaped and his stupid lips with his stupid cupid's bow, and his hair!! Is just so Damn soft it's and I just want to watch him be himself and do his thing but I also want to HOLD him and protect him and keep him safe from everything because if anything ever happened to him I-... UGH.
I don't KNOW.
I JUST LOVE HIM SO MUCH.
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trulyumai · 6 months
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Personal Space? Never Heard Of Her!
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Synopsis: You help the big boss (Jack), with every day tasks. He sees some forms missing from his desk and questions you. Jealousy ensues.
Pairing: Handsome Jack/You
Warnings: Murder (I mean it is Jack)
Available on AO3!
A/N: I know this is kind of a niche fandom, but Ive been obsessed with it recently! Enjoy the reading :)
“-Listen, listen, sweetheart, how many times do we have to go through this?” Jack's voice echoed through his office, you stood there just behind him with a frown marking your face. 
“Jack, I already said-” 
“Ah, ah, Mr. Jack pumpkin Mr,” Turning back to you he wiggled his long finger, tutting you lightly. 
“Mr. Jack,” You bit out, 
“The forms were already submitted. I told you the current marketers already came down for them. 
Squinting at you he plopped down on his chair, it groaned in protest as his heeled dress shoes rested on the oak desk in front. 
“Careful with that tone. I just like my things organized, is that so bad? I didn't know those shit brains were already on the new prototype,” Idly swinging his pistol it twirled between the man's fingertips, it would have been quite impressive if you weren't already mildly annoyed. 
Crossing your arms, pivoting one hip to touch the table, you relaxed your face. Somewhat afraid of the man, you didn't want to piss him off this early in the day. 
Afterall, you didn't dare think just how many assistants had come before you, shot and maimed  in this very room before you desperately enough took the interview for this (once in a lifetime) job.
The man rambled on, about the new gun designs, “Dumb ass,” bandits and the citizen who unfortunately ran into him this morning. 
“-Filthy fucking guy, how could he not see me coming! I was gonna rip his eyes out but who am I- '' Pausing all his movements halted, until he slowly, oh so slowly faced towards your direction once more. 
With still movements you paused too, wearily eying the man before he finally spoke up. 
“Wait, wait. Hold on, hold on, back up.”
Backing up a step you gripped one wrist with your hand. 
“No not literally you fucking- Your sentence. The researchers?” Frowning you traced back to your prior conversation 
“Yes, sir. The um, Prototype? They came in early, asked, well, demanded the papers. Said it was urgent.”
Sitting up Jack put both his gloved hands on the desk, gripping the corners until you heard the crinkling of his leather gloves. 
“They came. In my office, and you let them in?” 
Oh no. 
“W-well sir, they said- they demanded me to! Said you gave them special permission, made me walk ahead of them to open the door, and an-” 
A single hand was lifted, halting you to stop the rambling. The glass windows behind him showed the business of the city. Skyscrapers cascaded around the office, the clouds invaded the unusually blue sky and you wanted to run- run and bury yourself between the shiny buildings and fluffy skies. 
“What were these, shall we say, gentlemans names, hm?”
Distracted by the plethora of people on the streets you didn't answer, didn't even notice the man get up from his chair and place himself in front of you until his big hand squeezed the meat around your face. “Answer, pumpkin.” 
“The names? Um, Mordecai- I think and maybe ah-” The grip worsened, with increased pressure you felt the creaking of your jaw, the tightness on your skin. 
“S-Steven! That's it, I'm sure!” 
Eyes darting back and forth between yours he let go, switching to put his arm around your waist. 
“See? Was that so hard! Good job, sweetheart, really, that must have exhausted you,” 
His fingers skirted across your form, until his fingers danced at the hem of the blouse you wore. They lifted it a tad and met the skin with a warm touch, lightly gliding his fingers up down and as he hummed in thought. 
“Pretty sure those are downstairs guys. Let's pay them a visit! See what they have to say about personal space,”
Dragging you along, he pressed the elevator before leaning down on you, putting the side of his head to rest on your own. 
With a cocky expression he noticed your nervous form. “Don't worry, sweetheart- you tell Ol’ Mr. Jack, which one did the demanding and this will all be over soon!” His hand twitched on the opposite side. 
“Maybe we can even get some brunch after, I'm starving.” 
Nodding your head you held back a wince. 
The morning just started and there were already three casualties. 
What a morning in Pandora.
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gallafics · 16 days
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𝙶𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚊𝚏𝚒𝚌'𝚜 𝚁𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚎𝚠
Title: Paragraphs
Author: @palepinkgoat (Ao3)
Rating: Explicit Series: —
Chapters: 14/14 Word Count: 100.1 k
Archive Warnings: Warnings Not Used
Favorite Character: Its hard to not say Ian and Mickey because they’re both so amazing in this fic and they’re really the main focus—however I do really love a little side character named Rex and Lip is pretty cool in this one too! And I can’t forget Bill!
Least Favorite Character: Terry and he’s not even actively in this one but he’s definitely still my least favorite oh and Ian’s ex-boss, not a cool guy.
Ao3 Summary: Ian has an opportunity to be a reading tutor for ex-convicts. He meets one in particular that catches his eye. What begins as an attraction becomes more complicated with the weight of the past.
Spoiler Free Review: I ate this fic up in less than two days, when I tell you I’m obsessed…every now and then a fic comes along and you start reading and you just know it’s like this fic is now apart of your soul. I love it. It now has a permanent place on my comfort fic list. This is a different first meeting AU. There’s so much sweetness and fluff but be prepared and take care of yourself as this fic also deals with some heavier topics as well and the author does a great job at leaving notes about which chapter have the heavier themes. This fic is an amazing read, I highly suggest it, just know you’ll be adding it to your re-read list because it’s amazing!
Spoilers Below↓
Favorite Moment(s):
Ian and Mickeys entire first encounter.
Rex is honestly so funny, one of my fav side character in a fic!
“What’s complicated about getting your dick wet?” Rex squints at the numbers on the shelf. “You didn’t see him looking at you like you were a whole meal.”
Protective Mickey my beloved
“My stomach’s kind of messed up from getting punched,” Ian snaps. Mickey’s voice is rough. “You punched him? What the fuck for?” “He just startled me. It was a reflex.” “Blinking is a reflex. You don’t just punch someone in the stomach just because they surprise you.” Mickey stands up.
There’s the sweetest moment of Ian helping Mickey with reading and Mickey helping Ian with math!
Protective Mickey my beloved…again!
Ian shifts in his seat. “I guess,” he says. “I don’t know. I just had this weird run-in with this guy at the laundromat and then—” “What guy? What’d he do?” Mickey’s voice gets deeper. “He,” Ian says, and he takes a deep breath. “He recognized me. From when I worked at The Fairy Tail. And it was weird. So somehow I decided this was the next place on my list.” Mickey’s voice is small. “So you came to see me?” Ian doesn’t look away. “I think I did,” he says. His voice is clear. He means it. Mickey swipes his tongue on the inside of his cheek.
This part from Ian telling Mickey about his past!!
“You've been through a lot,” Mickey says, fingers wandering toward Ian’s palm. Ian realizes he’s been holding tight to the crumpled napkin. Mickey slowly pries the napkin from his hand and tosses it aside. Mickey’s hand slides so slowly into his that he can barely breathe.
I don’t know what to say about this one…I just love slutty gallavich
Ian presses him close. Harder. Tighter. “I bet you take it so good,” Ian whispers. Mickey’s mouth is slack, his eyes closed. “Yeah.” Ian cups his ass. God. His voice shakes. “Can you feel how big I am?” Mickey is panting, chest heaving against his. “So fucking big.” Ian lets Mickey’s tongue sweep into his mouth lazily, blissed out. Mickey’s eyes open slowly. “How big are you?” “Nine,” Ian whispers. Mickey moans, “Jesus fucking Christ.” “Too big?” Ian hopes not. It has been, before. Mickey shakes his head slowly. “That’s fucking perfect.”
I could literally list to so many moments in this fic but I’m begging you to just read it. You seriously will not be disappointed!!! Their first kiss, their first time being intimate, the first time they sleep together, all the moments in between and the journey that leads them through all of those phases!
Favorite Quote(s):
“You’re not.” Ian shakes his head. “This is only a chapter in your life. No. Wait. A chapter is too long. This is a paragraph.” “A paragraph?” “Yeah.” “The fuck’s a paragraph?” Ian stands up and hefts up his laundry, swinging his backpack over his shoulder. “I’ll show you tomorrow.”
“Come on, man. The only excitement in my life is my mom making me kielbasa and pierogies three times a week.” Ian tilts his head. “Three times a week? That seems like two times too many.” “Says you. You’ve never had my mom’s cooking.”
“I’ve been thinking about this all day,” Ian whispers against his lips. Mickey’s breath comes fast, but their lips stay slack and soft. “The taste of you.”
“Fuck, you’re so good to me. So patient. I want you, Mick.” “You got me.”
“Loved you a while,” Mickey says quietly, rising from the table. A small, almost embarrassed shrug. “Just didn’t know how to say it.”
Final thoughts: Ian and Mickey’s chemistry are written so well from the beginning. I felt it in that first moment they met, like little sparkles tingling in the air even if it was brief and not anything special. I also love when Ian is written having a good relationship with Lip and this fic definitely has them written so well together! Also having Mickey struggle with reading not just because he can’t but because he has a learning disability—as a fellow dyslexic I appreciate the representation. Then the call back to the show with Mickey being good at math! I love how they’re able to help each other with the things they struggle with.
Also the story telling around the issues Ian and Mickey both are dealing with is spectacular, they are both dealing with such complex traumas and it’s written in a way that you can really feel their emotions about it. There’s some small moments of angst, a whole lot of fluff and love and some of the hottest smut. It goes without saying I’m a huge fan of this fic, give it a read and I promise you’ll enjoy it. If you’ve already read it let’s squeal about it together!!
Thank you so much, pink_ink , for blessing us with this fic!!
— Harley, Gallafics Reviews
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thatdeadaquarius · 2 years
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Reader that can emit sounds from their memory(like as an aura)
Walk into a room? Why do I hear boss music
Comedic timing? Fuck yeah.
Bored? Jumpscare noise.
Zhongli talking? Jeopardy theme.
Someone is annoying? Earrape.
Think about it!
Hello! I’m the 12th Harbinger, aka as CHIL- bitch shut the fuck up, WHATS UP ITS YA BOY AQUARIUSSS- /ref
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lmao imagine you walking into a room like this in teyvat, with like that audio I SAVE BY GIVING IT CPR- TIGHT AS VIRGIN BOY DONT GET NERVOUS-
(also ill stop apologizing for the late replies to these, bc as we all know by now that im slow and u will get answered eventually i promise tumblr most likely didnt delete u guys asks im just hoarding them LMAO)
I’ve been super busy running in circles so sorry about ghosting! I still very much enjoy and love u guys and love seeing you guys enjoy my stuff :’) 
Still cant believe that, but thank you!
JEOPARDY THEME MUSIC WHEN ZHONGLI TALKS
HE’D BE SO CONFUSED
THINKIN HE GOT AN ANCIENT CURSE HE DOESNT KNOW ABT PUT ON HIM OR SMTH BC HE’S ALWAYS BEING STALKED BY THIS SONG-
(tbh unless the person is super observant I dont think most ppl would get that it’s YOU causing this chaos lmao)
Like I can see Zhongli eventually getting it lol, other ppl I could see after the first few weeks of interacting with you (esp bc you mix it up, honestly it was only bc u kept playing the jeopardy theme over and over when Zhongli ranted on too long that he got it was you 💀):
Heizou (he’s the best detective on all of Inazuma’s islands, ofc he got it! no he will not acknowledge that he totally thought you were hiding a very musical tanuki somewhere on your person at all times lol)
Alhaitham and Cyno (haitham took like, two hours of walking around town with you and knew, bc he’s a little know-it-all lazy bastard like that, and Cyno is actually just really aware, despite what most ppl think, he’s the General Mahamatra and not just a regular Mahamatra for a reason after all)
Tighnari (i stg he can like, smell when bullshittery is happening in his vicinity …or... hear?)
Venti (unsurpringly, he’s totally in love with this power of yours, i mean he definitely loves you cares about you a lot he says, but you’re starting to think he’s just lying to butter you up into pranking Diluc, Barbara, Jean, and really the entirety of Mondstadt more often  including Zhongli just so he can laugh until he’s on the ground again, also he definitely once asked you to make a dragon sound that’s the equivalent of shouting FUCK at Dvalin when he was flying overhead one day)
Hmm
Hm hm hmmmm
Who elseee, i need a characcctterrr lisstttt…
Albedo (duh, he’s albedo, you think he has an entirely too thick folder dedicated to your recent obsessions, you rant a lot about it while playing and also he can access your browsing history 👀, and he somehow doesn't know that about you?? You’re like, literally one of his long-term, there-for-life, has-bought-a-house-for-free-in-his-head-you- arent-even-on-rent-anymore, hyperfixations or special interests. Autistic!Albedo is autistic, Because I Am Your God, And I Say It Is So.)
Dehya (always knows when its you walking around near her bc you like to listen to your old world’s songs too often when you arent pranking bitches, she actually rlly likes it and your music tastes…)
HOLY FUCK SPEED RUN BC GOD THERE’S TOO MANY BITCHES WANNA BE YOUR BABY, RIDING AROUND IN A DAMN MERCEDES-
OKAY-
SO not all in the same way or at the same time, or even the same length of time did they realize you literally change background music or some shit so I’ll let you just- you know okay- like you get it- you get it.
Xiao, Kazuha, Kaeya, Diluc, Ayato, Yae Miko, Keqing, Qiqi, Klee, Sara, Kuki, Nahida, Ningguang, Rosaria, Scaramouche/Babygirl, Dainsleif, Kokomi, Xinyan, Yun Jin, Yelan. 
Jfc got the whole damn pride flag up here
Anyway everybody else outta luck, at least takes em a month or longer to get it lol
Sorry abt the end there i didnt feel like writing out all those bitches bc the few I did before were already longer than I thought they’d be…
Also, I am posting these spam of drafts (and that old follower 100+ event possession headcanons in prep for the next 2 weeks bc I will be really busy, again :/
Got spring break shenanigans this week, then I’ll be running around like a cat with zoomies bc im getting ready to install/actually submit my artworks for the gallery exhibition! 
…wish me luck or prayers or anything good from any god you believe in, I need the strength. 
With love, safe travels,
💀♒️
♡the beloveds♡
@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist
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jajanvm-imbi · 24 days
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Wanna know what's the most frustrating thing about being a Helluva Boss enjoyer?
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^ these two 5 minute shorts are 10000000x more entertaining than the entirety of season 2
Wanna know why?
BECAUSE THEYRE ABOUT THE ACTUAL PREMISE OF THE SHOW AND NOT THE STUDIP FUCKING TWINK ANGST RELATIONSHIP DRAMA
I am so EXHAUSTED of slogging through all the Stolitz BULLSHIT
These two shorts??? Are FUNNY!!! They're ENJOYABLE!!! They're ENTERTAINING!!!
If Vivienne Medrano wants to write her twink angst fanfic show then whatever it literally doesn't matter
But it's frustrating to see how she has a team of INCREDIBLE writers who specialize in COMEDY like Brandon HECKING Rogers and she wastes their talents on writing fanfic drama.
Like girl you have a team of COMEDIANS???? Write, oh idk,
COMEDY????
Edit lol:
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Obsessed with how I have made numerous posts about the things I LIKE about HB and HH, have repeatedly stated on my blog that I respect Vivienne Medrano and her creative team for achieving the impossible, the phrase "Im bi" is in my username, Blitz is LITERALLY my pfp AND I own a Blitz enamel pin from SharkRobot, but the minute I say "damn I wish the show titled Helluva Boss was actually about the Helluva Boss and not something completely irrelevant" I get called an anti and homophobic lmfao.
Getting called homophobic just because I find it exhausting that a show that was originally an episodic comedy has turned into relationship drama that doesn't even include 3/4 of the supposed "main cast" is WILD.
Also my anger at the "twink angst" is more of a critique of her character designs and not the story itself which is a whole other issue, but you can read my critiques of those on my Hazbin Hotel review posts, the first one I believe
Anyway peace and love 🫶🏽🥰
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lunarflux · 2 months
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I'M SORRY -
YOU KNOW WHAT -
Here are my unhinged thoughts about Aemond because I'm rewatching the "Inside the Episode" for ep6, and when Fabien says that Aemond can't be manipulated, and someone else is saying that Aemond is cold and rational - I FUCKING LOVE THAT, I'M OBSESSED, KEEP GOING WITH WHATEVER IS HAPPENING RN
Aemond is the ultimate perfect "villain" because (wait, hear me out) he has absolute reasons and logic behind his decisions. I totally disagree that he sees everything in black and white because logic is how you argue your way out of the gray area. The gray exists, but he can claw his way out of it. It's so easy to find faults in other villains, but with Aemond, he can argue against most points on the board. If you're a painfully logical person, you might almost find actions taken with emotional rationale to be kind of... annoying? I'm literally being reminded of a time a coworker told my boss that I was mean to her, and this was the actual conversation that followed when she approached me about it -
"Is it part of the job description to be her friend?" "Well, no." "Am I being mean to her or am I just not going out of my way to be nice to her" "No, you're not being mean. I think she's upset because you guys aren't friendly." "That's a personal issue then."
LIKE. I don't even have anything intelligent and long-winded to add here. I just get it. Emotional pleas annoy me. Sentimental pleas annoy me. However, I will say that I am like this now as a result of being someone who was very emotional and sentimental, and too often, those traits were thrown in my face. I tell people now that the "emotion has been trauma-ed out of me" because being emotional has never served me in a way that ended up rewarding unless it was being used for people I absolutely trust above all others (and there aren't many). Those people know that my behavior is driven by the fact that being emotional has betrayed me way too many times.
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all-pacas · 2 months
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i read all your house fics over the past few days and i love your style of writing. the dialogue fits the characters and show so well, idk what it is about it but it just clicks in my head and i can hear their voices while i read it. and all of their internal monologues are just perfect. i love the grasp you have on the ducklings' backstories and motivations its seriously inspired :))
now im trying to work on the oneshot idea ive been stewing over for an entire year, about chase being house's only fellow pre-canon, which seems like a weird and absurd situation to me. the idea is that something must have happened for him to basically be secured as house's fellow, but he also has to realize himself that he passed house's mysterious criteria. any specific tips for writing him? especially younger him?
Oh wow that’s so flattering! And SUCH a good idea for a fanfic, I’m also lowkey obsessed with the mysterious year (!) Chase spent with House pre-series lmao. Like I think we all agree, there’s no way House would have kept him just because his dad called, right? I actually can’t think of a way to get someone fired faster than telling House he has to employ this kid.
I have no idea for tips, because I feel like I still kind of am like ??? when it comes to Chase. But I’m also always happy to yell about god’s least favorite princess:
Chase is kinda passive-aggressive! He will do his best to avoid and freeze out his problems. When everyone is trying to talk to him about his dad, he ignores, refuses to engage, literally walks away. When House confronts him about the nun in S1, Chase doesn’t actually confirm that he’s Catholic, even: he just changes the subject to “I bet the nun’s boss knows about her.” By implication, he confirms House is right, but he never says shit. He’s private as hell. Likewise, he gets touchy when people “pry.” We also see it in his relationship with Cameron, to an extent: it bothers him for a long while that she never makes him feel welcome at her apartment, but he doesn’t say anything, just lowkey makes sure they’re always at his. 
He also tends to be conflict avoidant. When Cameron and Foreman are fighting over the “stolen” article, they both try to get him on their side, and he tells them both what they want to hear. He doesn’t defend himself against House’s bullying, Foreman tells him to his face a couple of times that he doesn’t like him and Chase says nothing. However, this doesn’t mean he’s that easy going. We see with his dad he will hold a fucking grudge forever — even in S5 he’s talking about how much he hated him, and in S8 and how he talks about his mother, we see he hasn’t stopped hating her, either. Also he calls out Foreman a couple of times, either by just being a little bitch (telling a patient “Foreman doesn’t like me either” while Foreman is right there) or by just laying things out for him (S7′s “oh, you think you’re better than me?” stairway rant). It also doesn’t mean Chase is totally spineless and has no boundaries. With Cameron, he actually dumps her when she tries to avoid him over the engagement, and has no problem calling off the wedding over sperm-gate. When things matter to him, he’ll stand up for himself; he just prefers to freeze out or avoid conflict. He also has no problem in confronting House when he feels like it. He’s not very scared of House, House just doesn’t bother him.
He also gains more… let’s call it confidence… as time goes on. Chase always seems to be pretty secure in his self-worth and idea of himself (and NEVER willingly opens up to other people), but over time he definitely becomes a little punchier. In S1-3 he’s willing to just sort of roll his eyes and take it when things happen, but by S4-5 he’s happy to call House or Foreman out and argue instead of just letting things go (passive-aggressively). He never gets any better at emotional honesty (his “punch House instead of talking about his divorce” thing is straight out of his S1 daddy issues playbook), but he does grow something of a spine. I imagine before the show started, he was even less prone to fighting back beyond snarky comments.
He genuinely finds House funny. He almost always laughs at House’s stupidest jokes, and as much as he’s accused of being an asskisser, he. Really just does think House is funny. Foreman and Cameron hardly ever react to House’s little comments, Chase is always grinning along. This is important. Chase’s sense of humor sucks! He is an idiot! He likes House. In S1 he says he likes how direct House is, there’s the way he always laughs at House’s jokes, he is absolutely a huge suck up also but he also likes House. I think pre-canon this was absolutely still the case. House comes in all prepared to make this little nepo-baby cry and instead Chase not just imprints on him but thinks he’s so funny and admires how mean he is and how smart he is. Chase really likes his job. He says it a lot, but I don’t know if it gets focused on all that much. He ratted to Vogler because he wanted to keep his job, he makes comments many times about how he won’t risk his job. He likes working for House, he wants to keep doing it, he will ass-kiss and work hard and throw people under the bus to keep it: with the Vogler situation, he was pretty willing to fight Cameron for it, and he and Cameron usually get along!
He’s very observant when he wants to be. He gets House; from his little monologue to Wilson in Private Lives we see he basically can analyze “House is looking at a book” and figure out it’s a fake book and that House is really invested in it. In S3, he’s able to pick apart House and Foreman’s resignation drama over like. Two sentences. In ‘Nobody’s Fault’ in S8, Chase is pissed with House (for really the first time ever), but also sees through his excuses to do differentials in the OR as excuses for House to check in, he knows House is worried: in S5, Chase realizes House is broken up about his father’s death without even seeing him. This is also something House appreciates about Chase, a lot. He says in S3 it’s why he hired him; House also tends to “reward” Chase by being pretty honest with him. When Chase asks him something, House usually answers him honestly. (with Foreman’s resignation, as soon as Chase calls him out, House admits it and they have an honest conversation on what House should do next; in S5, House wants a surgery done for personal reasons and admits it and why when Chase asks.) 
I think part of this is because Chase actually very rarely does ask House anything, and he never makes demands on House or his feelings. He accepts at face value that House is “fine” during Detox, he doesn’t try and fix or change him, in “Half Wit” when the others are scheming to get House tested or make amends with him, Chase tries (and fails) to act normal, and then just wants a hug. Compare like. Cameron, who keeps trying to change or push House into acting how she wants him to act (blackmailing him into a date, for example). I’m not saying House doesn’t care about her, just. House is more open with Chase than he is with a lot of people who aren’t Wilson. Also, Chase does not return the favor. He literally ran up the stairs rather than tell House about his daddy issues, lmao. It’s kind of crazy that House is arguably more open and honest with Chase than vice-versa.
Finally, despite all his secret seething passive-aggression and daddy issues, and the fact that honestly Chase could really benefit from therapy and anti-depressants? He is not a sad uwu baby. This is sort of a general rant, but. You see it all the tiiime in fanfic. And yes, he’s super fucked up. But he’s cheerful most of the time! He likes doing crazy things, he is often pretty sarcastic and makes bad jokes! He’s a flirt, even before his S7 manwhore days — in early seasons we see him check out girls in the hallways, flirt at parties, with residents and nurses. He has hobbies (he’s fairly sporty, if Cameron’s “your apartment was decorated by a drunk rugby player” comment is anything to go on), he likes to read and do crossword puzzles and surfs and skis. He tells bad jokes. He tends to be fairly self confident — he doesn’t just take it when he’s accused of making mistakes, he has no problems with social situations or interactions, he hilariously thinks women are attracted to his personality and not his looks, like, he thinks he has a winning personality, that’s incredibly funny. He’s not arrogant in that he doesn’t really have much of a need to prove himself (he’s pretty fucking unambitious, actually), but he definitely has the Good Looking Rich Kid mentality where he thinks he belongs in any given situation and that people like him. He also has the social skills to back it up. Because he represses and avoids and seethes instead of expressing emotions, he comes off as generally cheerful and laid back, you know? Why be sad when you can just repress everything and flirt with nurses instead!
Finally finally: he's a huge fucking crybaby. Have you seen how red his eyes get. He might try to be stoic and repress but he tears up at the drop of a hat. First time House bullied him he probably started to cry.
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Note
something i find really gross by the writers and fans of the show Helluva Boss is that everyone bemoans and bitches about Stolas being made to marry Stella and have a child with her when SHE WAS IN THE SAME DAMN BOAT. I am pleading with people to remember that women have been valued purely for their ability to bare children FOR CENTURIES, and is still idolized today. I am begging people to see Stella for what she was in a political marriage: a womb. Nothing more. Yet no one gives a fuck, cuz misogynistic writing is so engraved that critical thinking goes flying out the window.
THIS THIS THIS! Like, people calling her his rapist when St*las has said "This marriage was for one purpose, to birth an heir" Which she had to bear the physical brunt of since shes the one who had to lay an egg (equiv of pregnancy). Pregnancy takes a physical toll on the body. Ever since being a child she was expected to be okay with being forced to get pregnant with the child of a man selected for her. Its incredibly fucked up and that plus the fact St*las has all the property rights since shes been booted out and the show has shown us he gets to keep his palace which means he still owns it atm, the marriage literally favors him in multiple ways. Its literally less harmful (still harmful, but less) towards him than her in terms of legality and the fact her side involved forced impregnation as well as forced sex to boot. Its just so fucking gross that the writing does not address any of that at all and given the historical precedence of women being property passed around for arranged marriages. I feel like I'm going nuts at the latest plotline where St*las is a poor baby for being expected to split more in the divorce, I get it wasn't fair and neither of them wanted the marriage in the first place but they're writing Stella as a villain for expecting more than just her clothes and possessions and to also get a home/place she gets to live in and own too. Like, who wrote this? Viv and co. or reddit misogynists who think we should go back to when women got nothing out of divorces?
And I'm so tired of all the people who come out of the woodwork like "But shes mean" "Maybe shes just mean" "Stop overthinking it" "Why are you against female villains?" "Women can be abusers too" They're so dense when it comes to this, I'm sorry but its a stupid response that misses the point. I have never had a problem with female abusers in other shows such as TOH's Odalia and I wouldn't mind at all if Stella was written as an abuser who is lashing out due to being upset at what shes been forced to do. No, the point when it comes to Stella and HB is that, isn't it insidious? WHY out of all the villains is the female victim of an arranged marriage with so little actual power that stands in the way of an m/m ship chosen to be the "Shes just mean because shes a bad person not because bad things happened to her" archetype? And why is she specifically written as stupid and needing her brother to be the actual plotting villain; why does she barely get to drive the plot and her own story? Ever since they added Andrealphus hes stolen her spotlight/point in the story and shes just vehicle for St*las and Andre's beef now. Seriously like THINK PEOPLE. We KNOW that m/m fanfiction and yaoi focused spaces etc tend to use these tropes in which women are jealous men obsessed scumbags for the sake of being plot devices with no real writing, for the sake of creating drama that serves the male characters stories. I'm tired of being told I'm overreacting for recognizing obvious repeating patterns. Like it or not our biases will inform how we think about and therefore write certain groups of people. When you add in that male characters as a whole get so much more fleshed out and focused upon in Helluva Boss, and that its other female characters frequently don't get to express sexuality/sexual desires, and that female HB characters are so often just "X's cool hot looking partner" with little else to them, add in all that and it starts to paint an extremely suspect and ugly picture.
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gartenofbanny · 1 year
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Alright, for some reason I actually typed an indepth review of Unhappy Campers because I didn't really have much else to do, so with that out of the way let's get started with the positives!
The Positives
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Alright so now that the positives are out of the way let's get started with the negatives!
The Negatives
The Characters
The characters in this episode were all just infuriatingly insufferable to watch throughout the episode or were just painfully underwhelming. I'm gonna start off with the character I disliked the most in this episode and that's Moxxie.
Moxxie, as I said in a previous post, was honestly stupid, extremely sensitive, and legit wanted the attention of everyone in this episode. They had the clear opportunity to just solve the case and get it done, but Moxxie wants to roleplay with literal kids, wants to be well known, and use his solo mission as some detective game for some fucking reason. He gets mad at Millie just because she's getting the attention he wants where tf did this toxic behavior come from exactly? Moxxie is a hypocrite in this episode and Millie was 100% in the right to tell him off.
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Oh yeah and I almost forgot, they made Moxxie physically weak again. Which I gotta ask why was he struggling against Barbie Wire and how tf did he not kill the human when he was fully capable of fighting and killing demons twice his size just an episode ago? Doesn't seem consistent now, does it?
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Not to mention the writers did another "Moxxie gains confidence arc" AGAIN. Millie tells him to "play to his strengths" literally giving him the same damn advice she gave him IN HARVEST MOON it's just worded differently.
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And for some reason, Moxxie is like a Blitzo dickrider in this episode. Why is Moxxie ecstatic when Blitzo gave him the solo mission? Why was Moxxie down in the dumps when Blitzo called him a disappointment? Moxxie in Season 1 wouldn't take that shit, what the hell happened? They made one of the more sufferable characters in Helluva Boss so insufferable.
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Now onto Millie and this is going to be short. I am glad that Millie's getting a lot of screentime but this entire revelation where she likes being loved and respected because of her physical capabilities comes completely out of nowhere.
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Millie has always been respected for her physical strength especially by Moxxie, but she wasn't this fixated on it. Where did this come from? Why is it that she's obsessed with fame over her physical capabilities? And what's even worse is that her fans don't even like Millie for her personality that much they mainly like her because of her looks and strength. It had no build up and Millie wasn't even affected in the slightest when all of that reputation she garnered was instantly flushed down the drain. It was just meaningless. Now that I think about it, I would appreciate the character arc more if it had some form of build up and Millie would actually reflect and talk about it later on. But I know she probably won't.
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Now onto fucking Barbie Wire. Her screentime in this episode is 3 minutes and 16 seconds and the entire episode is 20 minutes and 18 seconds long excluding the credits. So there was more screentime of Blitzo and everyone he confronts MENTIONING her than there was actually showcasing her.
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Barbie Wire is literally Blitzo but female design wise and disguise wise..she just looks like a human version of Velvette. Tell me you can't design characters without telling me you can't design characters, this is the second new character in a row that shares a physical similarity to a previously made character. I'd get why she looks exactly likes Blitzo but having her human form be extremely similar to Velvette's actual design is lazy as hell.
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Barbie Wire is also a groomer too. I know that the counselor is technically an adult, but Barbie Wire is still using her body to manipulate him and adults are vulnerable to grooming. Plus it's still weird to me due to the age gape, Barbie Wire is in her 30s and the counselor is 18 to 19 years old. I bet you're all wondering how I got this info too, well Viv made a tweet about it. It wasn't stated in the episode that the person Moxxie and Millie were trying to kill was barely an adult leading many people to believe that Barbie Wire was a...cupcake eater.
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Barbie Wire is revealed to hate Blitzo, do we know why? No, we do not and for some reason the writers decided to keep this part ambiguous. When we first saw Verosika Mayday at least it was revealed that she had a reason to hate Blitzo but we don't get that with Barbie Wire for some fucking reason. Overall Barbie Wire is underwhelming but also infuriating, I honestly thought that I could manage to like her going in this episode but it just couldn't work no matter how hard I tried. So we have to wait another couple of months or at most years for Barbie Wire to show up again so then we'd fully know why she hates Blitzo from her perspective.
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Blitzo was honestly the least sufferable character mainly because he didn't have much screentime, I was honestly so happy. But then I realized why is it that Blitzo now wants to see Barbie Wire? The nurse over at the rehab told Blitzo that Barbie Wire checked out of rehab months ago, so why is it that Blitzo didn't visit her prior? He apparently wants to make amends and catch up to her but why? We're not given an explanation or even a reason. He wants to help Barbie Wire, why? How come he doesn't visit Fizzarolli or anyone else he had a past relationship with?
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Blitzo complains to Barbie Wire for not keeping contact with him even though he had opportunities to actually talk to her. Then after he's confronted by Barbie Wire he immediately goes back to being regular old Blitzo. At least in Ozzie's Blitzo actually had some form of guilt, in this episode we don't see how Barbie Wire yelling at Blitzo even affected him all we see him do is just make the sad puppy eyes, that's it. What was the point in all of that if you're just gonna go back to the status quo? 💀
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Anyway, somehow they managed to make all the characters bad or underwhelming. Idk how they achieved both with Barbie Wire, they need a medal for that one.
This episode is a waste of time
This episode in all honesty is a literal waste of time. Nothing has changed aside from the fact that Barbie Wire is out of rehab. You can skip this episode and miss nothing because this episode immediately goes back into the status quo regardless of all of the shit that happened. The only important thing in this episode is that Barbie Wire got out of rehab, but even then we'd know that information from a throwaway line. And what's even more frustrating is that this episode isn't a filler episode, it's a chronological episode with nothing that's relevant to the story. 
More fucking questions
This episode as always raises a lot more questions than it does answers. With the main one being if Blitzo can find an Asmodean Crystal in a week then why does he even need the Grimoire? The Asmodean Crystal has more use to them regarding their business and actually gives them human forms. Next question is how come Barbie Wire didn't cover up her tattoos so nobody would find her? How did Blitzo recognize Barbie Wire in her human disguise instantly? Was the counselor aware that Barbie Wire was a demon the entire time? There's just so many questions but no canonical answers.
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Too many plots
This episode juggles around three plots. Moxxie and Millie killing their target, Millie getting famous while Moxxie tries to get famous, and Blitzo finding Barbie Wire. This could've easily been split into two episodes have the Moxxie and Millie plot one episode, reveal that Barbie Wire is the one selling and smuggling the heroin then have the next episode dedicated to Blitzo finding Barbie Wire and trying to talk her out of selling drugs with Barbie Wire revealing why she doesn't like Blitzo throughout the episode.
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But instead the episode just jumps from one scene to the next. Moxxie trying to get famous while also trying to go inside the shed, Millie loving her fame, and Blitzo trying to find Barbie Wire. It's especially apparent when Barbie Wire vs Blitzo and Moxxie is always halted to show Millie's fucking performance. Like holy fucking shit we don't need to see Millie perform, show the important fucking part.
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Barbie Wire is confronted, cuts to Millie using her rizz, then it cuts back to Barbie Wire being confronted.
This is definitely an Adam Neylan episode because it's always the episodes he writes that has these amount of plots in one episode.
The..jokes
This is honestly the last thing I wanted to touch up on because the jokes in this episode are not even funny and honestly disturbing most of the time. I'll name the three worst ones.
The camp is called Camp Ivannakummore and it's a camp filled with preteens and children. Let that sink in.
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Moxxie wants to be famous around kids and starts crying because he isn't even though he's in his 30s. I'm pretty sure that they were doing the "high school nerd trying to be famous" trope, but it doesn't work because Moxxie isn't in the same fucking age range as these kids. It's like if an adult disguised as a teenager tries to go back into their peak high school years by going into some random high school and starts doing some fucking musical.
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This is like the worst joke in this episode by far. Fornication between demons disguised as minors that are also disguised as siblings in front of a crap ton of other minors. What is this, Rick and Morty? Did Dan Harmon write this joke?
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Conclusion
This episode in my opinion is the worst episode to me. The characters weren't likable or just flat-out boring, there were too many plots, and even then it led to nothing in the future, none of the jokes made me laugh or even chuckle, and it was honestly very painful just dragging myself through this episode. Unhappy Campers has all the worst aspects of Helluva Boss in the span of 21 minutes. And it was just very very painful to even sit through. I honestly don't think I would've missed anything if I didn't watch this episode because that's what it feels like, a nothing episode that managed to make me mad.
Anyway, thank you all for reading and I hope you all have a nice day! ❤️
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moonysfavoritetoast · 8 months
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Introduction !!
im so sorry to the people who aren’t used to my antics
sorry if this is rude, but please stop sending the gofundme asks. they’re overwhelming me, and i put off answering them until i feel shitty about not answering.
last updated 9/8/24*
*month/day/year
about me
hi i’m evan or cosmo :) i love love LOVE nicknames! as long as they aren’t sexual or directly calling me a girl, i don’t mind! *
i��m a MINOR in eighth grade, don’t be a creep. im a MINOR.
i use he/they/it pronouns
i’m transmasc, non-binary, bisexual & aceflux (i also use demi-boy as a label!)
* i especially love the nickname ‘ev’, as my sister had it first and my family will not call me that. i don’t want to be sexualized, it makes me uncomfortable. i am a boy, and i don’t want to be called a girl. eg; ‘good girl’ ‘my girl’ ‘girlfriend’. as for sexual stuff, i mean LITERALLY any nickname said with sexual undertones. i don’t mind being called a good boy, but the moment it’s said with anything sexual you might be blocked. for that reason, please use tone tags, as i am pretty bad at figuring out what some things mean at times.
rambling
FREE PALESTINE
PFP WAS DRAWN BY MY LOVELY WIFE @meerealsssss
currently matching pfps with @meerealsssss
first post limit 3/12/24
expect vent posts from time to time
also also currently going batshit crazy over fallout (honorable mentions are gravity falls, ghost, and sally face !)
i complain a lot, sorry
will x isaac
deer :3 and and german shepherds :3
jizz pants (will anf dom know what this means)
watch just add magic, do it please /nf
i love love love minecraft diaries (aphmau) gagagag lawrence and aaron are my fave characters (please talk to me about aphmau i swear i’m not cringe)
nico <3
starr <3
alex <3
ace <3
mee <3
my wife is @meerealsssss
my wife is @homoashell
my wife is @catinasink
my wife is dominic
my wife is also undyne
my wife is also mrs claus
my wife is trashcan carla
my husband is @aceiined / @muthafuckinaro
my husband is @homoashell
my husband is @catinasink
my husband is @the-rizzly-bear
my husband is the man in the yellow hat
my husband is terzo. i will not be taking criticism at this time.
my husband is also rick sanchez
my husband is also jazon broadly
my husband is also izerah (fuck you what is his last name, mee?)
pac-man is also my husband
my husband is alastor (hazbin hotel)
lucifer is my husband (hazbin hotel)
my husband is rj maccready:3
my husband is john hancock (the gay one)
my husband is the ghoul (on my knees for that cowboy ass mf)
my husband is ford pines
lord farquaad is my husband
my husband is jeremy fragrance
my husband is prae jack ;3
my partner is @alex-the-bard <3 <3 <3
my partner is @homoashell <3
my partner is @catinasink <3
likes/dislikes
like: music, tv, friends, my cat, cool socks, writing, rick sanchez, genloss, tadc, musicals/theatre, undertale/deltarune, ducks, omori
dislike: loud noises, silence, school
i’m currently obsessed with: ghost, dreamscape nexus, rick and morty, gravity falls, etc
i post about:
• marauders
• (mostly) random thoughts
• dreamscape nexus
• other random things
• rick and morty
• gravity falls
• percy jackson
• undertale/deltarune
• hazbin hotel
• helluva boss
• fallout
• omori
• sally face
• ghost
• mad max
family/pets
i have a younger sister, evie
i have a cat named daniel tiger
i have two dogs, gunner and roxie
timezone
EST
if you’re interacting with me past midnight, i’ll probably be a bit sillier than normal
DNI
maps/pedophiles, z00philes, bigots, ED and porn blogs
if you have ‘mdni’ in ur bio
simon cowell
donald trump
neo-nazis
if you don’t like furries and therians please get the fuck away from my blog
and if you shit on other’s religions, get away
what can you call me?
no: feminine related terms (unless you’re using them in a gender neutral way or as a joke) like girl, sister, wife, etc (bbg is always ok)
yes: boy, guy, partner, husband, dude, man (basically anything masculine/gender neutral)
sideblogs
@ricksanchezsboyfriend is my rick and morty sideblog
@mountainsmissingshoes is my ghost sideblog
@alastorsbigdick is my hazbin hotel rp sideblog (matching ace)
@giddingstexasenthusiast is my southern mom rp blog
@cryingunderstars is my writing sideblog
i am also @hadesfavoritechild
i run @rosie-rosier as well (marauders rp blog)
@scandalous-triangle and @myst3rytw1n are my gravity falls rp blogs (dm to join?)
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extra info
birthday is august 7 :3
tone tags appreciated
i’m some flavor of neurodivergent (except i’m not diagnosed (parents r more worried about my sister) soz)
i play trumpet + i want to learn electric guitar or drums
i’m a gryffindor
child of hades
my favorite band is ghost
i speak english and i am currently learning french (might learn swedish)
satanist
feminist
alterhuman
fictionkin
theatre kid (crew) currently doing little shop of horrors
my fav number is 173
i write
i live in my own head. sorry.
i live in michigan and i guess this is shameful (shrimp bullies me for it)
i kin dipper pines
i have another sideblog. if you find it, idk i’ll give you chocolate or something (it’s embarrassing)
fuck wilbur soot. if i post about lovejoy, please know that i do not support him.
ask me about ghost (band) i have an oc and want to talk about them
send anon asks
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tags!
• screenshots of dm’s/discord/texts: #evan leaks their texts
• lyrics: #evan screams lyrics at you
• my asks: #evan gets an ask *gasp*
• anything related to my book w/ @meerealsssss: #brokenly beloved
• anything related to moonlex (@alexthescaredenby and i’s ship name): #moonlex tag
• dreamscape nexus: #dreamscape nexus / #dn
• bracelets i make: #evan’s bracelets
• ace’s shit quotes: #ace needs to shit
• me talking about the man in the yellow hat: #tevan tag
• pictures of me: #literally evan
• me screaming about something: #on todays episode of evan is slowly going insane
• certain anon who signs off with a ☀️: #☀️ anon
• shit about omori: #evan plays omori
• shit about sally face: #evan plays sally face
• reblogging mutual’s art: #REBLOG (mutuals art)
• stuff that i post at theatre: #theatre shenanigans
• everything else: #evan's rambles
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people i talk about
my teachers :3
• mr sharpie/mr shark is my band teacher (he/him)
• madam eddinger is my french teacher
• mr crowner is my science teacher
• mrs bryant is my math teacher
• mr stowe is my social studies teacher
• mrs erskine is my ela teacher
• mrs seals is the old ass transphobic building substitute
• mr jacobs is our theatre director
• ms carmen is from theatre
——— previous teachers
• mama is a teacher from sixth grade (she/her)
• mrs kopykat - seventh, ela (she/her)
• ms k - seventh, ela student teacher (she/her)
• mr bones/skeleton - seventh, science (he/him)
• mr margarita/montague - seventh, social studies (he/him)
• mrs doty/dodds - seventh, math (she/her)
my irl friends :3
• crotch demon is my sister (she/her)
• my sweet little expired english muffin is @meerealsssss (she/her)
• ace @aceiined / @muthafuckinaro (they/them, mal/they)
• wife part two is my wife, they asked me to not name her here (she/they)
• al/allie is from school :3 (she/her)
• smurf is from school (blue hair, hence the nickname) (he/him)
• tomato is from school (silly :3) (he/him)
• boom boy/isaac is from school (he made me a netherite pickaxe after someone else burned mine // the pick had unbreaking // boom boy likes tnt) (he/him)
• boomerang/matt is from school (he/him)
• (irl) alex is from school :3 (he/they)
• khris is from school
• colten is from school (father) (he/him)
• will @skibitygamer is from school (he/him)
• dom is from school (he/him)
• luca was from theatre (mf graduated)
• maryn is from theatre
• alex (n) was from theatre (also graduated)
• chris is from theatre
parents are now getting their own nicknames
• hades is my dad (he/him)
• will come up with one for my mom (she/her)
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where else can you find me?
pinterest (moonysfavoritetoast)
pinterest (cryingunderstars)
youtube
wattpad (please don’t take this seriously)
tiktok (moonysfavoritetoast)
tiktok (cryingunderstars)
facebook mom account
my nintendo switch friend code is SW-4260-6971-6714
roblox is /@moonysfavorite_toast
and discord (@moonysfavoritetoast)
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