#i am late with this review but i kinda wrote it

[love-quinn]

— GOOGLE REVIEWS

summary — carmen's never been good with his words, so when he finds you crying in the walk-in, he gets some help to convince you that you're capable of doing your job.

warnings — swearing, general customer-service nightmare stuff. reader is younger than carmen but i pictured/wrote her as being mid-late twenties (25-28 ish) and i think carmy is early 30s so there's an age gap but they're both fully adults, also boss/employee relationship so power imbalance but also nothing happens between them

pairing — carmen berzatto x fem!waitress reader, not established relationship

pronouns — she/her

word count — 1.9k

note — first carmen fic so obligatory warning that he might be OOC, i rlly work on dialogue and shit but i am finding my footing. waitress!reader is kinda special to me i might write some more about them cause they're both so silly if that's something people would be interested in? anyway i hope you enjoy :3

“Stupid… fucking useless- fuck!”

The rush is familiar. The lunch rush, the dinner rush, the fifteen different orders jumbling in your head as you struggle to write it all down in time. Holding nine full glasses of nine different drinks in one hand and struggling to push open the door to run the food out into the dining room. Having to go to Richie and tell him that someone’s card declined so you didn’t have to be the one to tell them. Going into the walk-in and just opening your mouth in a silent scream just to go back out there and finish your shift. 

The rush of cold air on the back of your neck is familiar too. You don’t know what Carmen’s yelling about in the kitchen. You’d just stepped in there to grab food and had caught the tail end of his rant and you’d left with your tray and a million possibilities running through your head.

You’d written something down wrong and now a dish needed to be remade. 

You’d left one of the fridges open and spoiled days worth of food.

You’d given someone something they were allergic to and now you were being sued.

You move through the restaurant on autopilot, avoiding people and chairs and one of Richie’s spitballs sent from behind the counter. You’re so sure that the next time you went back in that kitchen Carmy would be pulling you aside and telling you that you’re fired. 

You deliver the food to the table with a smile and stand back upright to check in with them about that being everything. One of the women sits up a little straighter, giving you an apologetic look. “Sorry, I ordered a side of the lemon herb dressing?”

You look down at her dressing-less plate. “Oh, I’m sorry. I’ll be right back with that one, so sorry.”

She waves you off. “You take as long as you need to, honey.”

You practically speed back to the kitchen. Oh, god. You hoped you’d at least get that poor woman her dressing before Carmy fired you. You can’t believe that you managed to screw this up. You’d been lucky to get this job. Carmen had brought you on right when he’d opened up the restaurant and the rest of The Bear had all been super welcoming.

You got on best with Sydney, the two of you were similar in age and she was one of the kindest people you knew. You and Richie also had a nice relationship, you thought he hated you when you first got hired and then he walked out into the alley to have a cigarette, found you crying and punched a guy in the face for you. 

You needed this job. You’d graduated a few years ago and were still struggling to break through in your field, and this job paid the bills and didn’t make you cry every single day. Some days, sure, but not every day. 

You knew you weren’t the best waitress ever, you screwed up and made customers yell at you pretty frequently. You were lucky that Richie liked you enough to stand up for your honor even when you were probably wrong. But you tried your absolute best, you came into work every day and genuinely wanted to help. You respected all of the chefs so much, they all worked so hard, and you wanted to make their lives as easy as possible. 

You go over to Richie and murmur something to him about the dressing, and he takes it to the kitchen. First whatever you’d done to upset Carmy, now this. If he didn’t think you knew how to do your job before, he definitely will now. You glanced over your section. All your tables were eating or had ordered, you’d normally be checking with Sugar when the next reservation was due and triple-checking the table was clean and everything was prepared. 

If you were going to get a walk-in minute in, now would be the best time. Maybe you could do it before Carmy fired you. 

You brush past Tina, not even hearing her concerned call for you. The walk-in was empty and everyone in the kitchen understood. When someone goes into the walk-in with tears in their eyes you leave them alone for as long as you can. 

You can’t believe that you were stupid enough to screw this up. 

The door slams open and you wipe your eyes, expecting it to be Tina needing to actually do her job or Marcus wanting to check on you. It’s Carmen.

“What happened?” He hadn’t been expecting to see you so upset. He’d heard the door slam and wanted to leave it alone, but then Richie had raised his eyebrows, stopping mid-sentence.

“God, I can’t wait to hear about whatever asshole yelled at her this time,” he’d shaken his head, trying to go back to what he’d been talking to Carmy about before. One of the shelves had been knocked and two containers of flour had been completely emptied out onto the floor. They had lids on, lids with clamps on them that were meant to stop that from happening but lo and behold Fak was now mopping up something that was beginning to resemble bread dough with how much water he was trying to use. . 

“Who?” Carmy’s eyes had still been glued to the walk-in. Richie had said your name and Carmen had practically excused himself in the same breath. This time? Did you get yelled at by customers a lot?

You wipe your face, shaking your head. “Sorry, Carm. I guess I just needed a second, I’ll get back out there.”

You take a step forward and he, without meaning to, moves to block the door. You feel your heart rate climb. This was it, he was going to scream at you in the walk-in. “You’re crying.”

You can feel the tears welling up in your eyes. You didn’t want this to happen, you didn’t want to be crying in front of your boss. Especially not Carmen. He’s a lot, you know that. You’re not in the kitchen a whole lot, but when you are he’s usually not super happy. He’s a yeller, half of Chicago knows that. But he’s always kind to you, he gave you a job when you were fresh out of college in an unrelated field with no experience because he could tell how much you needed one. You often felt out of place slightly, through no fault of the other staff. They spent all shift in the kitchen together and you spent your entire shift out there in the dining room. You know they’re not having sleepovers and braiding each others’ hair in there, but your work mostly took place in a different room.

But Carmen always makes sure you get Family, that you get your break even if it’s scheduled while it’s busy and that Richie isn’t skimming your tips (he’d never, but Carmen’s caught him with his hands in the jar so often that he isn’t sure anymore). 

It really doesn’t help that he looks like that.

You’re shaking, and he worries for a second that it’s because you’re standing in the freezer, but there are tears welling in your eyes and he doesn’t want to drag you out to his office when you’re so visibly upset. “I’m sorry,” you’re shaking your head. “Please don’t fire me.”

Carmen frowns. “Why would I fire you?”

The words seem to tumblr from your mouth without your permission. “I know I’m not the best waitress, I’m sure you get lots of complaints about me and I forgot that woman’s dressing and I know nothing about kitchens but I’m trying, Carm. I promise, and I’ll do better.” You’re talking so fast that he can barely keep up. He’s still caught up on the first part. 

“Wait, wait,” he holds a hand up to stop you. “Who told you you’re not a good waitress?”

You sniff, tears fully rolling down your cheeks. Carmen knows he’s rough. He’s prone to explosions. Carmen is a hurricane, he wreaks havoc on whatever environment he’s in. He sucks in everyone else’s bullshit, swirls it around and then spits it back out, leaving whatever is left in worse condition than he found it. 

You were calm. You calmed everyone. If an asshole yelled at Carmen, or Sydney or Ebra, Richie wouldn’t even dream of going out there and yelling at the customer. Marcus made you a cake on your birthday and Sydney tries all of her newest recipes on you. 

The eye of the hurricane. 

You’re prattling at this point. “-And that time that I made that guy wait fifteen minutes for a straw, and-”

“Honey,” he doesn’t mean to, that slips out without him meaning. “You’re a great waitress, who gives a shit that guy had to wait for his fucking straw? Who cares, you’re…” he can’t think of a way to talk to you. Great feels too impersonal, wonderful feels too intimate. It’s what you are, though. “You have nothing to worry about. You’re… everyone loves you. We’re lucky to- I’m sure you could get a job at any other restaurant if you wanted. You’re not a bad waitress.”

That’s apparently the wrong thing for him to say. It only makes you cry harder. “Please don’t fire me,” you look pathetic. Crying to your boss while he fires you in the middle of the freezer. 

Carmen doesn’t let that slide for a second longer than he has to. “Why the fuck would I fire you?”

You don’t need to answer. Because I’m a bad waitress. It hangs in the air like the frosty vapor that flies from his mouth every time he takes a breath. 

“I swear to fuck, you’re a big part of the reason people come in here,” he’s not lying. He knows his name carries weight, he knows people hear “Carmen Berzatto’s restaurant” and that brings them in the door a lot of the time. He pulls out his phone, reception is shit but he’s able to google the name of the restaurant. 

He doesn’t have to scroll far down the Google reviews before he finds it. “Food was great, waitress was lovely, made us feel so welcome.” He finds another one. “Waitstaff was on top of it. Two people at surrounding tables smashed glasses and from what I saw one waitress cleaned them both up and still managed to get our appetizers out on time.” 

He goes to find another one but stops, looking back up at you. “You’re not firing me?” You take a step back, dropping your entire body so you’re sitting cross-legged on the floor. He watches you, gauging your reaction, before mirroring you. Your knees are almost touching his. 

“I’d have to be a fucking moron.”

The silence is deafening. 

“Hey,” Carmen can’t bite back the shocked laugh. “That’s… alright. Fine.”

Hearing you laugh makes relief bubbled up inside of him. 

“I should go back out there,” you nod towards the door.

Carmy shakes his head, knee nudging against yours. “Richie’s got it, Marcus can walk desserts, Syd’s on top of everything. No one’s gonna hold it against you if you stay here for a bit.”

He stands, hand brushing your shoulder as he moves towards the door. “Have you eaten today?”

You shake your head and he nods. “I’m gonna make you some pasta, okay? Richie can take over for a bit, you take your time in here I’ll be right outside, honey.” He shuts the door and your shoulder burns where he touched it. 

[the---hermit]

31|10|2023

Today I struggled again with staying focused, but by taking frequent breaks I managed to work on a lecture and a half, so I consider myself happy. I worked way better than I expected in the afternoon, and I even finished half and hour before usual. I have a pretty good plan to stay productive this week so I can take a few days off next week, and hopefully eveything will run smoothly. Health wis my throat is still hurting a bit but not as much, and thankfully my tooth isn't hurting anymore, I am still kinda exhausted from yesterday's dentist adventure tho.

cozy hobbit autumn activities and productivity:

read in the morning

wrote a couple of book reviews/ future posts

finished working on the lecture I hadn't finished yesterday and working on a whole other lecture too (both of my men theories and power practices class)

updated my reading journal and made a coverpage for next month

continued working on my crochet project (I am half way into making the second sleeve!)

daily dose of podcasts to make my brain shut up

daily Irish practice on duolingo

did a tarot reading for myself since it's been a while (lately I have been doing a lot of readings from my friends but not many for myself, but I am enjoying this new energy I have regarding this little hobby of mine)

today's self care:

made sure to drink enough water during the day

took all the breaks I needed while studying since focusing is still a struggle and I am still tired after yesterday

📖: Hell Followed With Us by Andrew Joseph White

[zanarkandfayth]

Would love to read your answers to questions 3, 9, 13, 17, 18, 26, 29, 31, 32, 50, and, if there's another number (or several) you really wanna answer, please add those too ✨

thank you for the ask!! <33 I wrote you novels in return gjdskglj

3. In your opinion, what’s your best fic?

oooh this one is so hard because I love most of my fics for different reasons, even my older ones (at least the ones on ao3. we ignore the ones left behind on ffnet lmao). hhhh, of completed ones that are posted, imma have to say monsters honestly, because damn did I put some heart into that. but the one I'd probably consider absolute best is the still ongoing, not yet posted 600K+ beast of a fic I usually refer to as "nanofic" that I've been working on since 2019. it won't be everyone's cup of tea, but it just gets so deep into noct's trauma that I inflict on him and his slow recovery from it, more than I've done for any other fic, and I've poured so much blood sweat and tears into that thing, it's kinda everything to me.

9. Have you ever written for a fandom without watching/reading/playing the source material?

written, no. been tempted to in the past, but it was too much effort and I already had too many fics for my main fandoms. I have read fandom blind for both harry potter and supernatural in the past though, like lates 2000s into mid 2010s. both were kinda on accident. supernatural in particular is because it kept getting crossed over with MULTIPLE of my fandoms. psych, house md, and criminal minds. so I started reading non-crossover supernatural fics in self-defense gsdklgjdks

13. What’s the biggest change between your style when you started in fandom and today?

I mean… this is the first paragraph of one of my fics from my first fandom when I was fifteen. you tell me 😂

"Relena smiled as she sipped her tea and mentally reviewed the day's schedule. 8:00 am- peace talk to the world. 10:00 am- conference with Romefeller. 1:00 pm- try to convince Dorothy to become a pacifist because she was to stupid to understand that Dorothy loved war. Rest of the day- annoy the HELL out of Heero Yuy. Smiling happily again (PLEASE! Her smile is SO annoying), she stood up and was just about to take a step when …. suddenly a freak falling cow killed her!!! =^.^= The gundam boys all burst out of closets around the room and rejoiced."

the biggest change is probably that I actually write well now lmao. and don't character bash. and don't throw author's notes and emoticons in the middle of fics, and have learned to format better, and, and…

17. In your opinion, what’s your most overrated fic?

oh god. let me hide before I answer this. hands down, it's shadows growing. like let me be clear, it's not bad by any means. I'm still fond of it. but I did not have a clear plan when I started writing it, and I really feel like that shows. it was not meant to be a fix-it fic. it was not meant to be a longer fic. it was not meant to be much of anything, tbh. I saw the prompt on the kink meme and the prologue literally started writing itself in my head and I was like "nah idk what I'd do with that" and I scrolled past, but I couldn't focus on reading other prompts and so I went back and just started typing the fic in a reply to the prompt. honestly I figured I'd write whatever I could and then when I left it unfinished, no one would know because I was anon and I had like one fic posted on ao3 for ffxv at the time and I was used to being a complete fandom nobody. the fact that shadows growing got me even somewhat noticed was unexpected and I was not prepared gdjskgjdskl

it definitely affected the fic because once the readers started picking up it made me feel suuuuper stressed and I was so afraid to stray too far from canon because I thought people would hate that??? for some reason??? no there's logic there. I was just overwhelmed. and I do get why people love it, because the whump and the friendship between the boys is really good. but I cannot help but look at it and remember how out of my depth I felt at the time and wish that I had been brave enough to diverge more from canon and smart enough to come up with a better ending. I still suspect there were quite a few people who felt let down by the ending and that's fair honestly. anyways, yeah, it's a good fic and I'm fond of it and most of the attention and the recs it got were in the first couple years of the game being out and I don't begrudge it being my most popular fic, I just. have better ones now I feel like gjsdgjskgsj but maybe not ones as many people would want to read. which is fine with me tbh.

18. What’s your most underrated fic?

the gladio oneshot in my "fayth's daddy issues week" series! (I wrote all those fics so back to back that I can't remember the titles for any of them whoops.) I adore that fic and it got so little attention compared to most of the other fics in that week, or my fics overall tbh. the only one that got even less was the one about iris 🤣 but I don't care much for the iris one either, even though I think it has some stellar banter between the boys and cute/funny prompto/gladio moments. I really love the gladio one though, because it was fun to revisit gladio's pov in a fic and I got to develop a bit of backstory for him that's been evolving into headcanon and there's a good chunk of ignis and gladio friendship that was the precursor to all their friendship in monsters, plus I got to make gladio cry, so. I love it <3

26. What aspect of your writing do you most enjoy to see praised?

characterisation, for sure. it's the one thing I agonise over and actually worry about what readers might think at times, especially as I get further away from having played the game to keep it fresh in my mind. so anyone commenting that it feels right makes me roll around on my bed in glee. the other aspect I equally enjoy is people commenting on the emotions. like, that the ones I wrote the characters having feel real/deep, that it made the reader feel them too, etc. stuff like that. cos the emotions are literally why I write fic lol.

29. Does the division of your writing across fandoms line up with your reading? What’s the biggest discrepancy?

I am dumb and am struggling to understand what this question is asking, tbh. is it like, do I write for as many fandoms as I read, or something? because fuck no in that case, haha. the only fandoms I've done major writing for (more than one or two fics) are gundam wing, digimon adventure, final fantasy x, and final fantasy xv. and I've read for something like 100 fandoms, idk. at one point I had a list but I stopped keeping track eventually.

31. Who’s the one character you’ve just never managed to get perfectly right?

well… I didn't really understand the concept of characterisation for fanfic until a little before I started writing for ffx. so uh, it's kinda non-existent in my gdw and digimon fics. but once I actively started trying for it… honestly maybe just yuna from final fantsy x. I had some things featuring her meant to be longer fics that were set during the game (most of my posted stuff is set pre-canon, with no yuna in sight) but I never finished and/or posted them because I always felt shaky on yuna's characterisation. I don't think I've majorly struggled with anyone in ffxv to the point that I've felt too dissatisfied with characterisation to post. but at the same time I'm sure none of them are actually perfectly right xD but they FEEL more or less right to me, which is all I care about.

32. Who’s the one character who shines without you even trying?

noct. I mean. he's my blorbo for a reason xD my beloved, I relate to him so much and the rest of it I just project lololol. I make a point to not actually just write myself as noct, cos I personally ain't about that, but it feels very easy to write him without needing to think too deeply about his thoughts/feelings/reactions most of the time. they feel instinctual to me, even when it's something that would differ from my own thoughts/feelings/reactions if I was in a similar situation.

50. Has writing fanfic had a significant impact on your life? Would you say it’s entirely positive?

YES and the answer to this question is one of the reasons antis/purity culture upsets me so fucking much. it's a personal/sensitive answer though so skip if you don't want to read that xD but. reading rape/sexual abuse & aftermath fics as a teenager is what helped me to understand that, even though there was no outright rape happening, I was still being abused. seeing my favourite characters have the courage to tell someone about their abuse and get help is what encouraged me to tell one of my friends during an AIM conversation late one night when I was sixteen, and she convinced me to tell my therapist at my next appointment, who then told my mom, and yeah let's just say that was a very significant and eventually positive impact (it was a rocky road) on my life. if none of that had happened I genuinely think the CSA would have continued escalating into eventual rape. so thank FUCK for fanfic and I seethe with rage every time some shitfuck anti tries to claim there's no good to be found in such fics. plus in general it just helps with my mental health and I've made plenty of friends through fic over the years, even if they come and go I'm still grateful to have known them for that time, and writing fic is the one thing that gives life any meaning for me, etc. so yeah I'd say at least 99% positive.

and now, I will add a few to answer, because you said I could lmao

7. What’s the fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?

it is a toss-up between horizon road, an ffx fic featuring a toxic, fucked up relationship between tidus and auron that I still really love, or endless skies, a really self-indulgent digimon fic. they're both old at this point, horizon road I started in 2005, and endless skies was in 2016. horizon road suffers from me having no solid ideas for it beyond the three chapters I wrote, and endless skies is painfully fully outlined, but it was such a hard, research-intensive fic to write for a number of reasons, and now looking at it also just reminds me of an ex-friend who I feel very negative towards (because I talked to them a lot while plotting/writing and they even wrote some of the smut scenes for me, though I've since removed those) and even if I wasn't still deeply entrenched in ffxv, I don't think I could bring myself to ever work on it again :/ which sucks because I did adore it very much.

35. Have you ever written a ship into a fic without meaning to?

…okay, I think anyone who has read shadows growing and then has also read or even looked at my ignoct fics knows that the ignoct is very much present in shadows growing gjdskgjsk as much as I will swear up and down it's platonic, and people certainly can take it that way if they want, like. come on. it's there. at a point, it very much was intentional. BUT. it did start out accidental. the og prompt asked for either gen or OT4 and I don't ship OT4 so I was gonna do gen but noct and ignis kept blurring the lines when I started writing scenes with them gdsjkgdjkl aaaaand actually I didn't start monsters with the intention of it being ignoct either. (the ignoct bits in the first chapter I actually added in a rewrite of that chapter lmao.) nor the tiny little epilogue in heavy is the burden that nudges into hinting at ignoct territory. fuck, even the ignoct in my very first ffxv wasn't meant to be so overt as it was gjdsklgjks there's also tiny hints of it in some of my fayth's daddy issues week fics (not counting the one that's deliberately and stated to be ignoct).

…actually now that I'm writing this I'm realising very little of my ignoct has been deliberately planned at the start 😂 the sequel to shadows growing, grey skies, was planned, at least xD the promptio that shows up towards the end of the fic was an accident though gjsdkgljslk it just. happened??? I didn't even LIKE promptio when I started writing that fic. huh. maybe accidental shipping is just my thing in writing ffxv fics.

40. Do you feel like you put out enough content?

wanted to answer this one, because, I'm NOT talking in terms of other people here. I don't mean to sound dismissive or ungrateful, because I do appreciate the people who read my fics, it makes me happy, but like. it's not why I write OR post. I'm not "producing content" for people; if someone is unhappy with me for not posting more fics, that's their problem. but in terms of myself… yeah, I do wish I had more to post. not because I feel like I've got some kind of arbitrary quota to meet. like, quite frankly, I have over a million words of fic posted on ao3, and given that I have a single unposted fic that's over 600K alone, I'm positive I have at least 2mil total words written. it's just that I wish I could write more consistently/frequently? I feel like I never write as much as I want to, and I know a lot of it is because of my worsening health, so maybe that's why I just feel so frustrated and dissatisfied with my output, but man, sometimes I look at my number of posted works on ao3 and feel like it's such a low number for how long I've been writing ): both for ffxv specifically and for all my fics total. I know it's silly, but the feeling persists nonetheless.

thank you again for the ask!! I feel happy getting to answer questions and ramble about my fics :D and it was really fun to think about my answers and realise a thing or two haha.

[sevlawless]

dead apple's discography: 1/?

review taken from their local newspaper:

Dead Apple's debut EP 'Running Out of Time' has hit all streaming platforms, and despite the title, they are doing anything but. Their punk rock influences shine throughout, as well as co-lead singer Arabella Aveiro's love for Fiona Apple, partially to credit for their band name. The band consists of its other lead singer, Seven Duckstein, guitarist Rowan Hart, bassist Devyn Powell, drummer Jazzy Dawson, and Iris De Luca on the keys. Each track has a emotional tie in to at least one person in the group, making the five tracks feel as though you're experiencing their lives yourselves.

When the current 11th graders of our own Green Meadow High were asked about this, Aveiro simply said:

"We want to make music that people can relate to. I think it’s more rewarding when you create something that you love, and that other people can love as well. Making these songs with my friends has been so fun, and we can't wait to make more music together."

For everyone's sakes, let's hope this band never runs out of time.

cover and songs breakdown under the cut <3

the cover was taken by seven when the whole gang went to the city. devyn had just got her license and her parents let them take the minivan to fit everyone LMFAO and arabella stuck her head out the window on the drive home. earlier versions of the ep had seven on the back cover doing the same pose (arabella had taken that photo in return <3), but after the breakup any physical copies printed had the same picture on the front but blurred.

where the heart is

written by: jazzy and seven

the drums on this song YOU KNOW jazzy had a hand in this! she wanted to write a song for the ep and was kinda struggling but seven helped her out :) so this is one of their many co-written songs together <3 this being the opener is so fitting for me because of lines like "6:30 alarm, brush my teeth, and start the car" and "it's time to go home again, that's so boring"

starting off at 6:30 am, early in the morning, starting off this ep with this song just feels fitting to me! and the whole "i hate my town" rite of passage most punk rock bands go through!

favorite lyrics:

"all in all, i've always had the same thoughts riling up my heart // and all in all, i haven't changed a single thing to feel differently"

"my mind's been in a million places, but my body hasn't moved an inch"

"if i could just take a chance, i wouldn't feel so bad // to see past myself, i wouldn't feel so bad"

baby tonight

written by: devyn, arabella

this is just an iris and devyn love song im afraid! i have this VIVID headcanon of devyn coming up to arabella and being like "i wrote some lyrics for a song about iris can you help me out" and arabella IMMEDIATELY being on board! i imagine devyn inviting iris over to her house and the whole band already being there in the garage ready to play this song for her :) it's such a cute lil moment and i like to think whenever they have a gig on or around iris' birthday or their anniversary they play this song! they put this on their first ep because they love devyn and iris and SO DO I!

favorite lyrics:

"she's a diamond in my fucked up world // prettier than the pearls that lay around on her neck // she makes me so fucking SICK!"

"so baby won't you take my life? or maybe you could crush my soul?"

red with love

written by: seven

unrequited love is really something else huh LMFAO i like to think that seven wrote this after him and arabella went to a party and played spin the bottle which resulting in them kissing for the first time (which later on when they're dating arabella doesn't count it as their first kiss because her eyes were open and the kiss was horrendously bad because that's her BEST FRIEND and she CANNOT have feelings for her BEST FRIEND-)

anyways ! i think seven started developing some sort of feelings for arabella after that and this song is the product of a late night writing session on his roof. when he shows it to the band they're like "who the HELL is this about" and arabella just looks at him like she knows and is immediately just like "let's practice it right now!" much to seven's relief.

when they're dating though and they perform this song together i like to think that after the line "you kiss me so sweetly, it gets me high" arabella ALWAYS without fail would kiss seven on the cheek :)

they stop performing this song when seven leaves the band.

favorite lyrics:

"the sunlight through my windowpane illuminates your face // i need you closer and you're not even an inch away"

"when you come home, you call my name // believe me when i say // tomorrow i will love you more than i did yesterday"

"i can't seem to get enough // it makes me sweat, you’re in my head // it turns me red with love"

sleep to dream

written by: arabella, iris

this bitch loves fiona apple idk what to tell you. i imagine that during high school arabella dated the WORST people but that just fueled her writing so she wrote this after one particularly bad boyfriend. iris also helped with the piano composition! i fear these breakup songs will become a pattern for arabella in later works LMFAO

favorite lyrics:

"i tell you how you feel, but you don't care // i say tell me the truth, but you don't dare // you say love is a hell you cannot bare // and i say gimme mine back and then go there, for all i care"

"this mind, this body, and this voice cannot be stifled by your deviant ways // so don't forget what i told you // don't come around, i got my own hell to raise"

where the lines overlap

written by: arabella, rowan

just the first of MANY certified rowanbella classics! rowan came up with the basic chords and arabella wrote the lyrics. this song is just them basically saying we're so happy to be in this band with our friends and we hope that never ever changes and it WON'T… right?

anywayyyy.. this song is an absolute crowd favorite and whenever they play a gig they always play this one last :)

favorite lyrics:

"no one is as lucky as us, we're not at the end but oh, we already won"

"now i've got a feeling if i sang this loud enough, you would sing it back to me"

[skyismental]

ik this is kinda late to that trend but brokeback mountain is 100% my roman empire. the first time i watched it, in 2022 (maybe earlier) i didn't get it. i wrote it off as being a gay movie for straight people. granted, i did watch it at like 2AM, so my memory of the movie when i wrote a review was probably a bit foggy. i decided to rewatch it recently, on account of having a movie night with my friend, and oh. my. GOD. how did i ever watch this movie and not want to bawl my fucking eyes out? it's such a beautiful, tragic tale of two people who are hopelessly in love with each other, but cannot be together due to society's prejudices, and ennis's deep rooted fears, his idea of masculinity. i am unsure of how to put my feelings about bbm into words. i thought of writing an essay but my feelings are so complex that i can't even think of where to start. not a day goes by where i don't think about them.

[clairedaring]

Hi, I've seen your blog and it appears to me that you've watched a lot of gdh movies. So I was wondering this: what is your top 5 gdh movie? I, for my part, have only watched two so far: oh my girl ! and you, me and me which is one of my favorite movie this year so far.

it brings me to tears (happily) whenever someone talks to me about GDH films ಥ_ಥ so here are my favorite GDH films (in this order as of this moment, no. 2 to no. 5 interchange from time to time depending on my mood)

1. Bad Genius (2017) and Bad Genius: The Series (2020)

So whenever I'm asked about GDH, the first film I instantly recommend would be Bad Genius. Because not only is Bad Genius imho THE film that puts GDH on the map, I think it has a lot of influence on Thai cinematic works, and to some extent television works.

Essentially, Bad Genius is a story about Lin, a straight A student who team up with her friends to pull off a large scale cheating scheme on an SAT-like exam. It's a heist thriller drama that definitely leaves me feeling stressed out as hell as if I was there in the testing room with those students.

I know it's kind of a cheat to also add this, but whenever I recommend Bad Genius, I also must recommend Bad Genius: The Series which is a 12 episode series that serves as a more detailed+sequel version of the film. I love this series because the young actors of the series gave me a fresh take on the characters I already know and loved so I had a great time falling in love with all of them again. The series fixed a few plotholes/qualms I had with the cinematic version as well as an extensive background story on Bank (played by Nonkul Chanon in film, Jaonaay Jinjett in series), my favorite character from this franchise so Bad Genius: The Series is the one work I cannot recommend enough.

One of the things I love about the series as well is that it also maintained the exact same vibes and cinematography like color-grading, camerawork...

2. OMG! Oh My Girl (2022)

I am a sucker for 'seemingly unrequited love' and 'right person, wrong time' tropes so this film really hit ALL the spots for me at its release.

Stylisticaly speaking, I absolutely love the Wes Anderson-esque zoom-in-from-afar shots for comedic effect. many stellar comedic moments where i laughed out loud. I think the humor in this film is poignant, accompanied by great comedic timing from both leads.

One of the highlights of Oh My Girl aside from the many subversions to romcom clichés, I like how Guy (the ML played by the incredible Sky Wongravee) was a morally grey protagonist and that the film isn't afraid to call out his problematic "nice guy" facade. He's a self-aware jerk and I genuinely love his self-awareness.

3. One For The Road (2021)

So I didn't watch this at release and it took quite a while before I gathered the determination to sit down and watch this on Netflix on a late rainy evening. Little did I know, I would soon be crying screaming bawling my eyes.

One For The Road is about Aood (Ice Natara) who enlists his estranged friend, Boss (Tor Thanapob) on a road trip to return items to his exes before he dies.

If I had a nickel for every time GDH wanted to give me a selfish, jerky male protagonist, I would have like four or five nickels but it's crazy that it's happened so many times (formulaically one would say) and here I am still empathizing and crying over these kinda jerky male protagonists.

The soundtrack was just brilliant. To quote a review I once wrote, the director, the music score and composer were truly out for blood with the soundtrack for this movie and they did it. This film is a good example of how important soundtrack and film scores are to elevate the narrative being told.

There are so many things to praise about the production but if I had to choose one thing, it would be the excellent mise-en-scene of this film. Every shot is dazzling, intentional and fill with metaphors. It was truly beautiful.

4. Not Friends (2023) 

So I went into this thinking it would be Thai take on Dear Evan Hansen but I was so glad that it wasn't the case even though there are similarities.

Not Friends continues to deliver GDH's classic "selfish jerky male protagonist" with Pae (Anthony Buisseret) who just transferred to a new school in his last year of high school. Seeing no chances in getting into university through the entrance exam, Pae decides to enter a film contest by making a film about Joe (Jump Pisitpol), his seat mate who recently passed away.

The film had me bawling my eyes out in theatres by the end. I love that there were a lot philosophical questions like how much we value a friend's worth in the film. If you like Baipor/Anthony tandem in You & Me & Me, Not Friends is a must-watch for this acting duo reunion.

5. The Con-Heartist (2020) 

So for the last spot, I debated a lot between two romantic comedies (both starring Baifern Pimchanok), The Con-Heartist (2020) and Friend Zone (2019). I recently rewatched the former and was reminded by how much I love the zany humor in this film so she gets the last spot.

The Con-Heartist is about Noina (Baifern Pimchanok), who is in debt because of her ex-boyfriend so she hires a con artist, Tower (Nadech Kugimiya) to help her get revenge against her ex-boyfriend by swindling him.

Even though it's billed as a romantic comedy, I think it's more comedy-leaning compared to Friend Zone but I love the comedic moments the two leads, Baifern and Nadech. พี่ไม่หล่อลวง by BamBam is the OST song for the film and it has never left my Spotify Wrapped for the last 3 years 😭

+bonus: How To Make Millions Before Grandma Dies (2024)

This is the first GDH film from 2024 and although it comes out in like two weeks, I can feel it's going to dethrone one of the films in my top 5 list for sure. If you're thinking of going to watch something at the cinema soon, I hope you consider checking out Lahn Mah this April!

I hope you give one of these GDH films a chance. I love watching GDH films because although they can have different directors/team of scriptwriters, they always end up with certain similarities (be it cinematography or screenplay or characters). While not all GDH films are incredible masterpieces but out of the Thai production houses for films, I would say GDH 559 (and its predecessor GTH) has the most solid record of having strong and compelling cinematic works.

[dramionediscussion]

Sorry for taking a while to get back to you. Also, I had to block some titles and names from this post since we don't allow hate towards specific people and their work, we can discuss things in general about fics, but calling out names and specifying why you don't like a person's work is not allowed.

Here is the thing, art is subjective. Just because you do not like a thing, doesn't mean others feel the same. You cannot understand how people like these very popular stories? Well, those people can't understand how you cannot like them.

Not every story needs to be well written, or has character development, is plot-driven etc. A story can be simple, basic characters, easy plot, no drama etc. There are indeed so many great fics out there, and yes some of them are better than others, some have better world-building, and you wonder why hasn't this blown up? But just because they haven't gotten as much attention as others, doesn't mean the popular fics are bad.

I am one of those people who suggest you read the classics when you enter the fandom. The Dramione fandom started in the early 2000s, but mid 00 to late 00, there was an explosion of fanfiction and for a lot of us still here after all these years, these are the fics that pulled us in. Those are the fics that we first read, and that we have nostalgia for. Those are the ones we have read a few times. So when new people come and ask for recs, we tell them read those. Read those earlier stories to get an idea of how the fandom evolved. Read the most popular fics so you can get a feel of the fandom. Those stories were the ones that created some of the fandom's headcanons, those are the ones that later authors ended up taking inspiration from. Were they the best-written ones? No. Did they have a of spelling and grammatical errors? Yes. Was it incredible OOC at times? Of course. But they still shaped the Dramione community.

Onto your next point, you shouldn't get angry at fanfiction authors trying to rewrite their work to remove the HP references from their novels. You should be angry at the publishing houses for making them rewrite fanfiction instead of an original story. So many authors are getting book deals based on their fanfiction and the publishing houses want that, not original ideas, they want a novelization of the already popular fanfic. That fanfic has a built-in audience who will pay for the new version, and the publishing industry knows this.

A lot of people in general have some negative thoughts on fanfiction, so when they hear that a book was written by someone who wrote fanfiction, or that this new novel was once fanfic, they get turned off. The new Anne Hathaway movie is said to be based on fanfiction, the author said it is not, but she does take inspiration from modern celebrities. But people didn't listen to the author and listened to what the internet had to say and joked about the movie before it came out. (After it came out people really liked it and no one is mentioning the fanfiction thing anymore).

A good author can take a story based in another world and rework it. Having not read those Dramione authors turned novelists' work before, I cannot judge whether they accomplished that or not. And I rather read it myself than listen to Goodreads reviewers. (I use Goodreads a lot, but many times find myself disagreeing with the most liked reviews.)

Also I actually read a very popular published romance book that was once a Reylo fanfic, and I didn't know it was fanfic nor do I know anything about that fandom, but I still loved it.

Your last point about authors getting a lot of praise and not enough criticism. I kinda agree to a point. They have the ability to block or delete negative comments. There has been an instance where someone left a comment that was perceived as negative and the author complained about it publically and the fans went to harass the commenter! That is horrible. But I don't think it is because everyone is "sensitive now", there are loads of people who ask for criticism, they welcome it. Just because you have noticed a handful of people acting this way, doesn't mean everyone is the same.

And again if they "publish actual novels that in reality have flat characters, chaotic development of events and in general are objectively bad", blame the publishing industry who allow this to happen so they can put out stuff quicker and make money faster. Because for them and many other industries, that's all that matters, money, not quality.

-Lisa

[downwhorendous]

hello hi, new anon here. i've been a follower of yours on jai since like before you had 100 followers but i've just never left a review or anything really.

i have this really weird thing where even if something is totally anonymous I'm still kinda afraid to say anything. idk if that makes sense but yeah..

the only reason i'm here now is because it's 1 AM and i'm high off my ass on edibles and have had many ideas running through my mind.

perhaps it could give you inspiration for things and stuffs. but here.

- satoru thigh fucking the user

- user cock warming satoru while choking him (saw this drabble on here but forgot who wrote it, it was like 2 months I saw anyway)

- au where satoru isn't a sorcerer but can see curses and knows about them, comes across user saving some random person and basically questions why they bother w it. (I saw this on Twitter and it's been living in my head rent free. I can't remember the artists name mb.)

- au where instead of suguru defecting and killing a fuck ton of people it's satoru and user leaves w him. because feral villain satoru is incredibly sexy. and i will accept no criticism on this

sorry for the late ass reply 💔

THIGH FUCKINGGGG is always a fav, I'm suprised at myself that I haven't done something like this yet, same with cockwarming—now that I think about it I believe I have one in the drafts 🤔 I need to look through 😭

thank you for the suggestions boo 🫶

[agnisleftpec]

i present my stupidly long reactions/opinions post to all of natla. i wrote it all as i watched, and i got more and more words in my head as i went, so it gets long. no i will not be editing this. i am not a review blog, i just have opinions ajhgsfjkf

ep 1 good: -gyatso. i love him so much -overall this was a good enough intro, but not much really stood out to me as good?? it's. kind of a weak intro asjdhgsfh

bad: -fire nation helmets trying to look a little less dopey by adding angles to the eye sockets is stupid af. like i can understand why they might have thought the circle eyes looked dopey, but personally, it felt eery and othering to me, like there aren't people behind those masks. also it's closer to a skull motif than the weird angular half cirlce shape. -aang being able to basically superman fly?? and hover?? it looks really weird, and i also kinda breaks some potential future plots?? like, he can just. hover up into the air and fly away without his staff. and they seemed to have replaced aang's jumping with it. now he just starts hovering. -i dont like that katara doesn't bend aang out of the ice in rage. i dont really care about sokka dropping the blatant sexism, but i still think they should've been fighting about SOMETHING. even without the comparison of their jobs at home, they already had something to bicker about before losing the boat, they should've kept that up. katara's angry bending was such a good way to communicate her character as well as show viewers her raw power and that bending is effected by emotions, i really dont like that they dropped it. -there's a heavy lean into sokka's relationship with aang that's probaly a result of the writers knowing how much the fandom loves sokka lately, but also. it really feels like it's overshadowing katara's role in aang's new life. like, if i hadn't seen the original show, i would assume that the main relationship is aang and sokka from this episode.

overall a servicable intro i guess, but i was. boring. it was really boring asjhgsfh

ep 2 good: -zuko is an artist and they stole his fucking journal im screamin. this is so funny. he's so mad that he lost his fckin diary and aang is using it to figure out his next steps. im just. i love this -actually really liked that waterbending scroll as a gift from gran gran, it makes it a lot more personal and very smoothly sidesteps the original plot for the scroll, which you gotta admit is a lot of screentime that they dont have -sokka trying to impress and relate to suki and looking like a gotdamn fool while doing it. he's fucking smitten. i love this. AND SUKI STARING AT HIM WITH HIS SHIRT OFF LATER. yeah. yeah i like this better than the original episode actually -sokka's dialogue overall is amazing, mostly because he's funny. the funny dialogue is overall pretty good i my opinion. which leads into a bad point: most of the serious and heartfelt dialogue feels pretty unnatural. the actors are overall pretty inexperienced, but the script is doing them no favors

bad: -Lt. Jee has a topknot. how fukcing dare they -they just used "VIP" in a sentence. i dont like the acknowledgment of a latin alphabet. why do they have an acronym for an english phrase using the latin alphabet when we've seen no latin letters anywhere -aang meeting with kyoshi first was fun, but the weird filter they have over the spirit world (?)/the whole scene genuinely makes it hard to look at -NO UNAGI??????? NONE??? NOT A SINGLE GIANT EEL FISH???? -did momo just make a chimpanzee sound. im going. to lose it.

neutral: -zuko and iroh don't know zhao yet… that's fucking wack

a MUCH better episode than the first one, this actually got me excited for stuff

ep 3 good: -love this internal resistence. very cool aspect to explore that i think the main show was missing -CABBAGE MERCHANT -fire nation terrorists in omashu is kind of terrifying. i like it -ok the casting and costume design for the freedom fighters is actually spot on, i love it. also jet's weapon use is so faithful to the original, it's gorgeous -OOOOOOH, sokka's warrior vs engineer, hakoda vs machanist father figure is so good, i love this -THAT FUCKIN LADY WHO JUST STARTED SMACKING ZUKO. im fuckin choking -i did actually really like the fight scene between all the cloths and scaves and stuff, it was short but it was fun. honestly i love every zuko and aang in this episode, it's very good

bad: -did. did they say attitude control on the airship? …did they mean altitiude control…? is attitude a common problem with airships?? (maybe it is, idk shit about air travel terms. mybe attitiude means something else entirely. but i don't think so) -WHy. why are the fire nation spies wearing RED. wh

neutral: -putting teo and the mechanist ("sai" now) in omashu is a pretty decent way to combine plots, but im not sure if i like that it probably wont get aang's grief over his cultural home being changed and partially desstroyed. i always thought that was a super important to aang's character, but also the narrative does have other chances to lean into aang's cultural grief -putting JET in omashu. that's a choice. -Lt. Jee as an informant for zhao… that's wack

side note, this is the point where i really started to notice that the music is… boring. it's super boring. we go from what feels like basically background noise style western orchestral music which really isn't that notable to the credit role remaster, and it's jsut so jarring. have they not been using the og soundtrack?? i can remember hearing the fire nation motif, but like… not much else. might need to go back and listen. what's the point of remastering the soundtrack if you aren't gonna use it?

ep 4 good: -FLOPSY STATUES -im lovin zuko's infiltration thing, it's amusing to watch. but also, maybe a bad point, cuz he's not… very good at it. blue spirit who?? i suppose needinng to talk to people lowers his stealth exponentionally. there's a reason the blue spriit doesn't talk. im leaving this point here cuz im having fun, but it's still got problems -OOOOH they're using this as the iroh captured and zuko choosing to sasve him or find aang, that's clever. the whole "make a choice" thing from that guard was a bit on the nose though. -sokka and katara bonding and chatting about expectations is great. i really like them bonding a lot. HOWEVEER. there is a LOT of focus on sokka's burdens, we haven't once touched on what katara's been doing. this is. an unforseen consequence of removing sokka's (blatant) sexism, isn't it. they cant figure out how to give katara's role the same amount of value without someone to act like it isn't important.

bad: -the implication that sokka is scared of haunted tunnels. why would he be scared, this bitch does not believe in spirit nonsense. unless he does now. natla sokka is supersticious. -i really dont like the mad hatter's tea party vibe from bumi. like, bumi was always off his rocker, but this brand of kooky feels off. -while i like the conversation of soka not trusting katara, i really dont like the seeming personality reversal in the tunnel. it's minor, but it's just so weird to see sokka sasy stuff like "woo love leads the way" without mocking it, and katara beig the one who says that's stupid. -how did they manange to make zuko look older for his flashback. good lord. oh no. -bumi: "you vs me, to the death." im fucking. im so done. i hate this bumi i hate him. i understand him being upset that aang vanished, but he is so fucking mean in this. -ok i. do not like them giving the zhao v zuko agni kai ending to iroh. i really dont like that at all. we lose the point of zhao being a fuckin bastard, about zuko being the type to give mercy (which the show has already thrown out twice now from zuko almost blaasting fire in someone's face after they we on the ground and basically defeated. dont really like that change in character. they added all this awkwardness and these comments about what an honorable soldier shouldn't do, and yet they do this?? dumb), and having iroh defend him with ease. innstead it's replaced with "dont show mercy to earthbenders." ok. -the badgeermoles. sense feelings. and react to them. FEELINGS. im.

neutral: -THE SINGING NOMADS??? i thought this tunnel plto sounded like it could be similar to the cave of two lovers, but i really did not expect to see the singing nomads here. i do love them though -look, i dont care about shipping, but OOF. the poor kataang shippers. they're just throwing out all the kataang scenes but not building up an actual friendship in its place. i'm not a fan

bad episode. did not like this one. there were some goo parts, but overall it was just so disappointing compared to the original. on its own, i supposes it's a servicable episode, but so far, none of the others have really let me down this much in terms of expectations.

ep 5 good -ooooohh. i know this one is going to be controvertial, but i actually love the part where ozai corrects azula in the fact that zuko found the avatar, not zhao, and that he's displaying desireable traits in an heir that she seems to be lacking. like, i wish this came AFTER we had some blatant examples of ozai's favortism towards azula, but i do love the idea that ozai is driving their competition between each other. also that ozai is actually able to be proud of zuko IF he achieves those impossible goals he sets. but we still need more azula favoritism set up. -DID JUNE. FUCK ME, there was so much in two seconds hold on. the western whistle thing. june saying "your dad's kinda cute." she thinks iroh is cute, and she thinks iroh is zuko's dad. im. im fine. -WAN SHI TONG????? WHAT IS HE DOING HERE. my child. i did not expect to see my child in s1. overall, i'm relatively happy with him? wish his face was smaller or the resof him was bigger - he had a lot more poof to his head in the original, in imo a smaller face on the head would help make him look larger in solo shots. he looks pretty scrawny. also the voice is a bit too much old man for my tastes? but i'm picky about this bird. now im just super curious if there will be a library episode if s2 comes, and what that'll look like.

bad: -nothing has exemplified my problems with the changes in this show more than katara not throwing the acorn at aang's head. it's just. her attitude is gone, any whimsy that isn't sokka is gone, and they struggle to meld serious topics with humor. -actual gyatso in the spirit world?? maybe?? first of all, if it is actually gyatso, i dont think they did a good job of prooving that. second, why??? i'm really not a fan of aang actually getting that relief from grief and guilt. guilt is such a huge part of aang's character, i just.. idk, it feels less impactful when he gets actual gyatso telling him its ok instead of learning to manage his guilt on his own, nevere knowing really what gyatso would think og him now, like very other person who loses a loved one. it's just. it feels cheap

neutral -im not sure if i like koh as an actually malicious force in this story. like, it works fine for the narrative presented, but i really liked how koh was in the original, threatening and scary and trying to trick aang into making an expression for snack time, but not actually doing anything but helping aang when asked.

not the best episode, but not the worst. we just did that. it's kind of an in between, so idk if there's much to comment on. overall, im not a huge fan of the plot choices here, but i don't think they're actually bad choices, just not my style.

ep 6 good: -roku: im here to help you with anything you need aang: it has to do with koh roku: …anything but that roku has so much fuckin attitude, i kind of love it -zhao ignoring aang to correct the notetaker guys notes and make he gets his facts straight is both funny and an effective way to show off zhao's ego. also "what are you doing, dont write that down" is makin me think of that one kig who fell of his horse while hunting and said "dont let the historians write about this" and guess what fucking happened -the convo right after was really good imo. aang basically doing a lil test to prove that he and zuko could be friends with their boring old conversation was great. zuko getting mad about compassion is heartbreaking, woohoo. pretty much all around a fun scene, except that last line from aang was a little too on the nose. but at this point, im used to it in this show. -also the journal thing is still great. and i could be totally wrong, but i feel like zuko being super kowledgable about avatar stuff is a fanon thing?? well supported, but i'm pretty sure it doesn't actually come up often how much zuko knows about the past avatars, and fandom kind of took the idea that he MUST know a bunch given his search, and has freuently applied that to aus that turn zuko into this avatar specialist that actuallyhas a lot of info that aang needs. i swear that's a fanon concept, and i kind of love that it's happening here. -Ooohh. omg. the 41st as zuko's crew is DEFINITELY something i've only seen in fanon. the crew NOT KNOWING they were the 41st is completely new, and i honestly adore it.

bad: -not the fuckin mother of faces statue spinning around in his hand like a fuckin loading screen object -zhao yelling "cel - la - brate" like a fuckin party rock song, im. i cant. -blue spirit mask looks plastic. also why'd they make it angrier. i mean, i gujess it doesn't matter, but i dont think it adds anything either. that's a design you shouldn't touch in my opinion, it's too iconic. -the fucking music. the music is so fucking boring. you can't give me one fucking blue spirit motif?? wh. please. i need it -why. why did it take so long to do the whole "i need the avatar alive" and then swords to aang's throat. like. i could deal with that short moment of realization leadinng to a pause, but the actual action of zuko putting his swords to aang's throat feels like it takes forever. the whole shock from the animation was how fuckin immediate zuko's reaction was, how there seemed to be no hesitation from allies with the avatar to betting his life on escape. dont care if they have to speed up the footage, that whole sequence shouldn't have given us time to think. it was too slow from the second zhao told his soldiers to stop. -the agni kai. hm… ok. there's a lot here. at its most basic, i absolutely hate that zuko fought back here, because it feels so incredibly counter to the message of the animated show. like, there's a lot of fuckin weight to zuko's line of "i won't fight you." basically any fanfic can tell you a bunch of different ways this is important. it struck a chord for a reason. zuko fighting back just feels wrong. that said, i don't think it's a god awful scene. it's disappointing and abandons half of the origial meaning, but on its own in the context of the show as we've seen it, it works. we still get the trauma, zuko learns the idea that compassion is weakness, and it's still horrifying in the end. but compared to the original, it does feel like the writers here missed the point of zuko refusing to fight in the original, and that's the most frustrating part.

neutral: -torn on how i feel about zhao tagging along with zuko instead of them being phsycially separate. like, i guess it works, but zhao feels more slimey and less powerful this way. like, i'm not constantly reminded that zhao has more influence and more resources through this partnership. but then again, this episode also kind of solves that issue? i guess it doesn't matter, i just didn't like it. -zuko is a very vocal fighter, and he also makes a good amount of noise during his blue spirit fighting. i guess it doesn't really matter, especially cuz we dont have dante basco's crazy recognizable voice to deal with, but it still feels a bit disappointing for the blue spirit to make noise when we're used to dead silence

i might be going crazy, but i swear i heard some of the original guard grunts from the show when zuko's beating up the guards in front of his cell. i might be crazy, but fuck. ANYWAY. overall i did like this episode. going off the last episode, it still had a lot of plot bits i didn't care for, but overall it's good. yes there are issues, but im honestly more impressed by the things they introduced than i am annoyed with the things they changed. im still thinking about the 41st, like fuck

ep 7

good: -zuko's "ship" blew up!! that's an intersting change, but i think it's a clever one! though i do wonder what will become of zuko's actual ship considering it's fine. my favorite character, alive and well. have fun drowning, zuko. but also, this seems much more brutal to me?? cuz like. jee and iroh were trying to save zuko, and they ended up putting himself in danger in doing so. that's worse than just not being around when danger happened like in the animation, imo. -YUE HAS A FURSONA????????????? -i do love that whole scene of azula putting her foot down and refusing to do more of ozai's dumb little tests of strength. like, maybe not true to her animation arc, but i do like it -honestly the change where katara "wins" the fight with pakku not cuz pakku has a crush on her grandma but because everyone else who watched her figt thought she was badass was really nice. crowd vote says fuck pakku

bad: -OOF THAT FIRST SHOUT OF THE NORTHERN WATER TRIBE. oh that is not good. i haven't mentioned the cgi yet, but this is. oh dear. technically it's eas to miss, but still. -im so sorry, im sure she's lovely, but the first short of yue is so bad, she looks like she does not want to be here at all. i actually startedlaughing out loud wtf -oh i forgot momo existed. but now thtat he's here, he's ugly. i dont like him. -sokka and katara look so fucking pale next to hahn and arnook. i hate it

neutral: -im still neutral about azula and ozai's whole tough love thing. azula's lack of confdence and anger at not feeling good enough really feels like a zuko thing instead of an azula thing. she really doesn't come across in the original as worried at all about how she holds up next to zuko. in a vacuum, i don't think it's a bad choice, but compared to the original it is a jarring shift

overall pretty good. i dont like aang's protective behavior, but i do like that it's showing off some of aang's more negative qualities. we didn't get a bato episode or a intro to the storm episode here, so we haven't really encountered that yet. also im happy katara got to be sort of mad. a little.

ep 8 good: -i do like the early war balloons i think, it feels more reasonable that zhao snuck into the city vs got all the way back to the spirit oasis on komodo rhinnos withou being stopped or followed like they did in the original. -katara mastering waterbending literally without instruction is kind of badass. that whole exchange of "you've found a master haven't you" "yes, it's me" was pretty fun. idk how realistic it is, but like. in the original, she also masteredd waterbending in a matter of days, so. niether are that realistic -i kind of like how fuckin visceral the moon spirit getting stabbed is. like, minor change, doesn't matter, but still. that one shot of the bloody bag with a knife sticking out of it was lovely -ok that's spooky as fuck, the "there is no aang" thing with koizilla. like, the idea that this isn't just aang being possessed or lending his aide, this is him straight up giving up his life to la in that moment -that whole thing about zuko just beig a tool ozai uses to motivate azula was really well done actually. great acting, basically all that fanfic worthy revelation emotion, it was super good. like i was kinda thrown by ozai giving all control around hunter the avatar to zhao after seeming so impressed that zuko found the avatar in the first place, but really, i been played a fool. he doesn't care, he's manipulating azula. this is what the favoritism looks like. yikes. -also obsessed with the visual they talked about with aang/la wandering the world forever in search of a partner they wont find. this new context that koizilla really wasn't just a fuck you to the fire nation, it was meant to be permanent. like, fuck, i love that

bad: -OH THEY GOT RID OF ZHAO GOING TO THE SPIRIT LIBRARY i hate everything. what's the point. they're just gonna nix the library all together. wan shi tong is never coming back. sokka v wan shi tong will never happen. my entire career is over. -kuruk just appearing in a random doorway is wack -koizilla looks bad. baaaaaaaaaaad. where's the glowly lines -ok great yay we got zuko turning his back on zhao and getting attacked, but first of all that meant nothing cuz zuko DID ttry to kill him, zhao just dodge, and second, la should've taken zhao. i just. it's a more satisfying death for him, and also zuko's whole take my hand thing is super fuckin important too. but zuko in this show as a traumatic aversion to compassion, so whatever i guess.

pretty good finale, entertaining and got some good emotion stuff. better than most of the episode's emotions honestly

overall good: -before i speak i need you to look at my icon. scroll down the blog a bit. just take that in. ok? ok. i think zuko kind of carried the story here. overall i was very impressed by his acting, and yes, it was much more awkward and tear-ready than animated zuko, but also that's my fuckin jam. he's out of character in a lot of ways, but all the characters are, and like. lets be fucking real, this is fanon zuko. this is how the majority of fandom characterizes him. -set design was very nice in my opnion. casting choices (minus the water tribe sibs) were amaing visually, maybe no so much in terms of talent but we deal. while the costumes look too new and fee fake, it's not the worst. if you go into this expecting camp and trashy fun, you'll enjoy it. you can't set your standards high -once again, take a scroll through my blog. ok. i love how often aang is just like. clearly dissappointed with zuko's lack of desire to change, how much he wants to connect to zuko but zuko wont stop fuckin hissing and spitting. if aang got to have personality in this script, he'd basically be pointing at zuko like "that's my emotional support enemy," i swear to fuck. i might be pushing it on how much they were really like this in the narrative, but i dont care, im having fun asgjhdfh

bad: -momo and appa both look creepy. they give me realistic pokeon vibes, and not in the detective pikachu type of way. like, detective pikachu is what i was hoping for, something that preserved the cute and still felt semi real. this didn't do that. momo is weirdly top heavy and his eyes scare me, and appa has weird, ever present droopy lips, especially at the corners. it's just uncanny -i dont like how bending looks. it's okay i guess, but it's got so many extra busy particle effects that it feels uncontrolled. i always pictured masterful bending as being really smooth and pretty unnatural looking- smooth water bubbles, fire with weirdly contained flickers and not much smoke, earth without a bunch of crumbling pebblees, air without dust everywhere you dont want it. the wobbly water and earth bending with so many fuckin shards of debris and the firebening with so many sparks is disappointing cuz i would've worldbuilt that to be a lack of mastery thing. anyway. it's fine. -aang is not happy and excitable, and katara isn't angry or sassy. they have the personalities of cardboard boxes. rip.

i actually liked that a lot. lots of good and lots of bad, but overall i had fun and that's what matters. maybe not something i'd rewatch if i didn't have atla brainrot, but not fuckin god awful. the characters were pretty different from their animated counterparts, and that's very frustrating in its own way, and the script was full of poorly written dialogue, and the acting kinda of sucked in a lot of places, but. but. i had fun, and im probably gonna rewatch it, and im gonna enjoy applying these ideas to fanfic and fanart. overall, im glad it exists. it's not going to replace the original, it's not meant to, but it's just trashy fun. i love trashy fun.

[pro-logue-epi-logue]

soo i am the anon who wrote the kaibanks rant.

god i feel so happy i found someone who feels the same way.

look iLOVE kaibanks they are the absolute best but sometimes just sometimes i wonder if banks would be so much more happy with someone else but then i squash that thought because they both kinda belong with each other.... the only problem is rika and well... pd

i dont actively hate rika even though i bitch about her a lot its just that she is not interesting.. at all

also i feel you girl pd totally ruined the two couples i read this series for..

and i could kill for some headcanons featuring kai and banks ALONE

I JUST WANT DOMESTIC KAI BANKS IS THAT A CRIME??????

Hello @lillylintonsdickydumdums I am quite late with the reply hope its okay-

Honestly I think any person who is a kaibanks fan has every right to rant, I totally get it. Your favorites got 1 book and that too was focused on someone else.

IT HURTS!!

When I read Hideaway, my review was KAIBANKS are made for each other BUT how in conclave and then in Fire night Kai acted I started to question this because if even after 12 years banks feels jealous and insecure then maybe she does deserve better than kai.

Are Rika and PD problematic?? YES!! No one denied it. And Rika's unnecessary butting in hideaway between was weird and aggravating.

But Rika is Pd's self insert so it was just like " oh how did there was not a scene focused on Rika??" And then Pd did what they did to kaibanks. 😔

I think people don't HATE Rika, they dislike her strongly and that was because she was EVERYWHERE even where she was not supposed to be. Imagine a scene where two main characters are talking and having a moment and suddenly Rika is the focus irritated alot of us. Specially when it happened more than 10 times.

So yeah Rika dislike is understandable.

And yes, she is boring (to me), i can say more things but i think i shouldn't.

Agreeing that PD ruined kaibanks and willemmy, THERE IS NO DENYING!

As of kaibanks headcanons, i will share everything i find about them here and try to come with something myself.

DOMESTIC KAIBANKS ARE A FARAWAY DREAM AT THIS POINT 😭😭. EVEN PD FORGOT THEM. I DON'T KNIW ANYTHING TO SAY TO IT. 😭😭

If you want to rant more feel free to do so, it was amazing to read.

Bye 👋

[astraeus-moon]

@melchinafan Sorry for the late ish response I feel kinda sick so it took me a while longer to organize my thoughts. Also here we fucking go apologies for no read more sins I am on mobile

And no I haven't seen those ign articles! More canon info to add to my hordes! And Jacob :( sad baby girl. I'll probably post those (The screenshots of the new info)  later for easy access for others

Your point on all 4 of heros being effected makes me wonder if Grave lock girls magic has sort of an area of effect or if the alpha vampires magic is a double edged sword in positively affecting the heros

And ooooo I didn't know there were other blood remnants that came in dif forms makes me wonder if they are somewhat similar to the alpha vamp remnants bc I think i remember it being mentioned somewhere the vial also had psychic residue?? Could not be I'm just losing it but eh. And the psychic residue perhaps being in the blood/body? And that's why it alters you?

And yeah I agree! I think that we don't carry them into the fight just to crack open the door and sort of wave a red flag at a bull sort of way

And then when the alpha vampire dies we get the remnant imbued with a bit of that vamps specific magic

And yeah perhaps using the skulls almost a psychic lockpick if those chosen had been imbued with some of the alphas powers (referring to the trickle down effect you noticed, Vampire mlm is a concept that will be lodged in my brain now)

The biggest one for Bellwether not giving a shit I believe was a piece of dialog that said like "once we get out of here do you think they'll drop a nuke on this place" which made me laugh bc I audibly went just like resident evil grqt2h3 which despite some of the negative reviews comparisons to other games the lack of resident evil with vampires is making me laugh (I mean it in a positive way I'm very attached to RE)

Plus I don't think a privately funded not so small military/mercanary group is gonna lose sleep over a "few" civilian casualties (especially not when you can write em off as vampire deaths when it comes down to it)

Yeah I agree! One of my main grievances was I wish that side quest/mini bosses got more diversity and watchers idk if those are miniboss types as I think they go down p easy (but like I said can't/haven't played the game so I could be wrong) they seem closer to the mutated cultists than "true" vampires

And totally get you on lore one of my other favorite games is destiny 2 and holy shit the amount of environmental storytelling/lore is so strong they have a fan run website to compile it all so I totally get you.

And ooo I'm always looking for new games to watch/obsess over so I'll have to check it out

And yeah unfortunately the people I watched wernt too into grave lock collecting and the only 100 locations video I've found doesn't play em in full

And yeah with Addison I won't spoil it but holy shit he was the worst one too me I wrote out/expanded on the house of Echos mission so I was rewatching and it ended up being 4k words but also it was woof. I almost wish they swapped the order of the map start out in the second way with the other 2 then work into the 1st area for the hollow man

Yeah my sort of interpretation (both in how I'm writing and general fun) is that his Ravens outlines + his guns lock on are from that eye but a fun thing I had was giving them all like the way things are highlighted blue for you to grab some of the psychic residue as most of the psychic energy we see (barring layla) tend to be a pale blue - teal(?) Ish color and it was just funny to me that the highlights for important objects were similar

I agree with vampires probably having night vision as they are supposed to be a sort of apex predator so night vision fits with the whole can't go in the sun.  It does make me wonder if Jacob would run into issues in direct sunlight with that eye time to invest in sunglasses my guy

And yeah I hadn't considered the psychic spaces as like stronger spaces where the trance is louder, bc in my thoughts I think the trance is a seperate but adjacent magic thing to what turned them into vampires

It definitely seems like the magic sort of got them all or bolstered abilities in some way and come on we both know that devs def smart enough to crack teleportation lmaooo necessity is the mother of invention and all that. But I do think that magic and science go hand in hand (destiny 2 is so great for that reason aswell because so much of what looks like magic can be kinda turned into science)

I think Remis ult is pure video game but healing it would make sense if it gave out a sort of opposite end of the spectrum vampire healing and helped you regenerate by like tapping into that magic that's settled in you or the vials/remnants

yeah we don't know how the healing actually works as you don't regen health unless you find medpacks which leads me to believe you do have to needle and thread it up instead of magic video game heal as explained in dishonored or prey

And yeah I'm assuming vamp regen at best at worst, you should uhhhh probably got get that looked at bud and yeah blood as fuel is a good idea even if it was connected or disconnected

And yeah the tissues, I'd imagine a wash cloth would be slightly more useful than tissues but eh and yeah sort of a gunk goop dripping thing (ie Eris Morn from destiny with her hive eyes)

And yeah! I think to be a bloodbag/sin eater it also I think is slightly voluntary(?) As the sin eaters are like that. And the blood bags seem pretty eager so maybe the most devoted cultists get turned into em

And yeah I'm uncertain bc I remember for one of the missions Jacob has a line like "but slitting the throat of your neighbor to get in." Or smth like that it's been awhile

And yeah vampire mlm, and yeah definitely maybe the more sacrifices brought in = higher chance of getting turned

I think it's a bit of both as we see with the alphas they were all real shitty people beforehand and yknow being willing to kill others to further your own gain definitely fits under "bloodsucker" (derogatory) in my mind lmao

And I think that's why Jason got away was bc hes not a bad person and was rather selfless hence but still also perhaps shaped by the intent of the person giving you magic (jacobs raven, laylas telekinesis which is something other higher up vampires can do as weve seen with the sea) But also made to shape you're own natural abilities remis healing, devs gadgets :) especially in those latter two cases where they wernt forced really to have the powers

The slow boil is soooo intresting to me bc like where were they? Like in the nests psychic spaces and just coming out to feed plus with the size of the alphas I think that'd kick up a fuss

I think probably a but of both, as drug trials/medical research like aevum was doing was bound to test on mice at least and upon observing the effects may have worked there way up to humans but huge fucking claw marks are probably vampires especially from what we've seen they are extraordinarily wasteful with animals perhaps both as food and ensuring surviving humans can't get it

And birds + animals disappearing evokes a similar feeling of when animals tend to dip before natural disasters because there senses and instincts are so much stronger than ours but also vampires killing them because they couldn't go after people yet

also lmao yeah like idk where tf they were going with that like was the plan to eventually move out of redfall or use it like a home base or smth bc you kill the animals and the people you're gonna have to start eating each other

And yeah I have to imagine at least one cultist was wincing and didn't voice it but was very much like aw come on guys

And yeah! Idk if it's ever explained if vampires exclusively have to eat blood/meat or can eat other things aswell

And oh my God don't get me started on the impacts of introducing a fuck ton of apex predators into your ecosystem and food chain not to mention if other animals mutated and are breeding. Like just removing Wolves from Yellowstone was enough to fuck over the ecosystem I can imagine something on this scale plus the probably intense growth from the decomp rates of bodies.. anyone in an environmental science field would be tearing their hair out (specifically my own redfall oc whose a park ranger is not having a great time with that)

You would have to build ground up essentially as trying a top down approach would fuck up the few remaining secondary and primary consumers (obligatory environmental science rant over)

They all def do the trance def is giving hive mind vibes aswell as a removal of emotional/rational thinking makes me wonder if the blood trance heightens base instincts/hunting drive or aggression like with animals being aggressive and shit being fucked

And oh def, bc each of the bosses has there own space but the nests aswell which makes me wonder if vampires have their own allegiances or a nest is like a pack

And yeah hindsights 20/20 and yeah fears a hell of a motivator and cults pray on scared lonely people with no other options and yeah in too deep

I haven't! Unfortunately I haven't watched a dev playthrough and there's not too many multiplaythroughs on YouTube but I'll inform you if I come across any! And as for rough speculation on mothman physique(?) I think leathery makes sense from someone as logical as dev since it glides so it being similar to a bat or moth it almost makes me think of point pleasants.. intresting... statue of the mothman to say the least...

And yeah woof the scientists sure as hell are doing some malpractice although I'd admire arkanes commitment to fuck the rich with them being consistent enemies.  And yeah sorry this got Hella long

[adhdandelion]

Ritalin, Day 0

Okay, so, I HAVE to revive this blog. Because it is happening. I bit the bullet, basically - four years after getting diagnosed with ADHD, I finally got a prescription for ritalin.

It took so long because the last psychiatrist I went to was an ass. Who only prescribed me Strattera without trying ritalin first, and Strattera didn't work for me and I TOLD HIM and he didn't listen to me and FOR MONTHS things only got worse and worse for me until I flipped my shit and swore to never go to a psychiatrist again.

But now I did, only after getting a recommendation by someone on tumblr who swore that her Psychiatrist was absolutely wonderful. Hella expensive of course. but I have a job and not that many great expenses, so whatever.

I visited her last week, on wednesday, I was so freaking nervous and honestly I barely even had any real hope that she would listen to me. But she did, she was incredibly kind, and she prescried me ritalin, no trouble at all.

But, I had to get an EKG and a blood test. I spent half a day calling around for a cardiologist, no one had an opening before the follow up with the psychiatrist. so close to the finish line and still everything was a hassle. Finally, the last doctor i found on the internet, with a horrendous review rating, would to the test on monday. another 250€ spent but hey. anything for the good drugs.

And that doc wouldn't do the blood test so I went to another place for that, at least it is fairly easy to get an appointment for a quick blood test. And the blood test was free, yay!

So now I have the results, the EKG and heart echo thing was perfecty fine, and the blood test seems ok, too, from what I can tell. Two things are ever-so-slightly out of range, but I doubt that should be a problem.

I emailed the results to the doc yesterday, late night. and since this morning i am freaking tf out because I haven't heard back - I know she's busy and all, but i want to finally knowwwwwww if ritalin works i want to know if it makes life so much lighter for me, like so many other people have said. I have waited for so so so long and now every minute feels like TORTURE AAAAAHHHHHHH i just want to finally know

Since she wrote the script last week already, and I already got the ritalin from the pharmacy, I already have it at home. And it is taking every fibre of my being to not just take the drugs. I want to be a good patient and wait for her true OK but i am not a patient patient.

Making an adhd patient wait is... approximately the worst hell imaginable.

It is now past noon and I have gotten literally nothing done for work. I am working from home today... or rather not working lmao. It would be great if I could take the ritalin and it would just kick me into gear so that I can actually get at least anything done. I called her office at noon but she didn't get to it yet. My brain can't form a thought not related to adhd or ritalin etc, i am a vibrating ball of anxiety, fear, excitement, worry that it won't work after all, feeling kinda nauseous from it all even before taking the meds, and most of all IMPATIENCE i HATE waiting it is the SINGLE WORST THING in the entire world (i am an adult who almost had a meltdown in public while waiting in a queue for an ice cream cone and i had to run away from the queue without getting ice cream even after waiting for several minutes because i would have started crying like a toddler if i had had to wait a second longer - i am not good at waiting, okay)

AAARGHHGHGHGHHG this is TORTURE

[whypolar]

same anon as before, i really enjoyed the new unicorn post, particularly the speculation about what purpose some of the changes made in the adaptation serves because loni makes sense but the riddhe stuff is really baffling, and this is coming from someone who has only seen the OVA and whose favorite character was riddhe. anyway, i wanted to ask (if you're not already saving this for final thoughts) how you feel about unicorn in the context of the uc timeline/gundam as a franchise

I'm glad you enjoyed it!

It's truly SO bizarre... most characters do not have significant personality divergence, and the ones that do have reasons that are pretty easy to figure out. But Riddhe is just completely different for inexplicable reasons? Why. Sunrise explain

I think you're the first person I've run into to directly say Riddhe was their favourite; I'd love to hear your thoughts on him. There's so much antipathy toward him that I've been running into it even just in Google image searches and things like Gunpla reviews for the suits he pilots. It already kinda makes me sad from the perspective of "but that's not true about novel Riddhe :(" so I can only imagine how alienating it could get if people are constantly trashing the actual version of the dude you're invested in

Obviously you're operating on second-hand information here, but I'm curious whether the novel's characterization lines up with the things you like about the OVA character? Were any of the changes related to the appeal of the character for you? Do you think you would have personally liked him as much or more if he had been portrayed more like the novel version?

The question about Unicorn in context with the rest of UC is a tough one... it's the kind of thing where I get scared that I don't know enough to say anything intelligent, lmao. There are so many people with so much more in-depth knowledge of the full breadth of the franchise.

For now:

I'm pretty resilient to things like possibly incongruous lore between individual UC media, and am usually more interested in the 'why' or 'what does this mean for this specific work'

I haven't watched Narrative or read Phoenix Hunting yet, nor anything from late UC like F91 or Victory, so I can’t speak to any of that.

Based solely on the novels, I don't think the Newtype stuff in Unicorn is out of line with the rest of UC Gundam. I see people complain about this a lot in a way that just makes me think "damn, that's crazy. So glad it has nothing at all in common with my experience of the actual text." I admittedly haven't read whatever essay Fukui apparently wrote about Newtypes, so maybe there's some authorial intent I'm missing, but Unicorn itself? Nothing about it is particularly outrageous to me

[dk-wren]

Hello dear reader,

This is a day or two late (oh well, it's still better than last year), but apparently this blog, DK Wren, turned two years old. I just wanted to celebrate a little and do another little reflection on my posts from the past year.

It's been quite a crazy year for me and this blog. I had a kinda random influx of followers, who for the most part didn't look like bots (at least not the ones I'm used to). So thank you to everyone who followed me this year, as well as to anyone who liked one of my posts. I feel I write this on a lot of my posts, but I truly mean it when I say I appreciate all your support! ❤️

Now, some thoughts and reflections from Year 2 of DK Wren:

I am once again very happy with the posts I published this past year. To add on to this, I am also pleasantly surprised by the number of posts I published this year (especially compared to my first year)

Buddy Daddies and Spy x Family overtook my blog and many of my posts this past year, or kinda the past half of the year. And honestly, couldn't be happier about that.

Yes, this is only my second year on here, but I definitely felt like the direction I wanted my blog to go in pivoted to be much more fandom and interests based, and I'm okay with this. In a way, this feels very true to one of the things I wrote on my post last year about what I wanted to do next.

Starting @dakotalovesdontnod, a blog which is solely dedicated to my love for DON'T NOD. Have done a few "series" on that blog, which I really enjoyed doing. However, I also wish I had more time to work on other posts for that blog.

Zombies/Zeddison analysis and Disney Parks reviews were really fun to work on and I'm very grateful to the handful of people who liked those posts.

There were a lot of posts/ideas that came to mind but I didn't have time to actually flesh them out (and when I finally did have the time, they kinda lost their relevancy). So, I hope that over the next year, I find a slightly better way to find the time for me to work on these posts which I really enjoy creating. In other words, I hope to find a better work balance between these posts that speak to my interests and the actual work I need to get done for school.

Similarly, I hope I can also set a schedule that will allow me to work more consistently on fics.

Thank you again!

I recently thought about doing a reintroduction, but for now this will do. That being said, my ask box is always open if you wanna reach out or ask me something fandom related.

-Dakota Wren

[dickmedowndc]

Notice

I know the Martian Manhunter one is well overdue - that is coming in the next few days.

Salem, my cat, is still missing. She is the first pet to have ever gone missing in my life and since I adopted her as a kitten and know how easily scared she is (and honestly, how kinda stupid), I have been tearing myself apart trying to find her. Essentially that has been my life since she went missing.

I am starting to get a little better despite this and have gotten back to writing. i was reviewing the Martian Manhunter story and there are some things I am unhappy with and am currently editing those pieces. It shouldn't take too long. It will be up in the next day or two after editing has finished and I proof it for grammar and spelling.

Someone else sent a new request, I will accept it and make a post about it shortly. The Blue Beetle ones do come before that new one, along with the sequels to the Kon Kent and Future Worries fics - after this MM one is up, of course.

And there are some originals coming. One is kind of a vent x Reader, with Bart, so expect that too.

You are also about to see a new masterpost hitting soon for a chapter story. I know most of you will have no interest in it because it is OC/Canon, like This Too Shall Pass. But the whole thing is 30 chapters and i realized as I wrote it I could actually post it. So that will be appearing every now and again as well.

Hopefully this all makes sense, I am pretty tired right now and it's late but I have work to get back to.

Just wanted to give y'all an update on what is happening!

-- Nicole A. W.

[theharrowing]

So it was you!! I should change my name into Sherlock lol

Hello, my dear (ex) Pumpkin Spice

Feels strange and exciting being the one sending you an ask, but I just wanted to stop by and tell you that I read your gift first thing first this morning yesterday it was kinda late and I was too sleepy and just... listen. LISTEN. I want to leave you a review and I'm going to, but right now? My brain is a giddly mess and all I could put down are pterodactyl screeches, nonsense blabberings and just please picture me kicking my feet in the air and giggling and hugging the phone to my chest basically every two sentences.

If you want me to say it more explicitly: I ABSOLUTELY love it. I really felt like a kid opening their presents on a Christmas morning when I read the summary and the fic itself made me a puddle of feels and dreams. It's so beautiful (and long. Oh my stars it's so long and I am a sucker for long fics) and I loved everything about it. Your writing flows so perfectly, the way you describe feelings and fears really hits me in a good way, the banter and friendship between reader and Jiya it's everything I want in a friendship with a coworker, ONYX!! Where is my real life Onyx?! Sigh

The gasp of pure joy I let out when I finally found out why you asked me about gems and stones. I really never saw it coming and I just love the idea of a penpal friendship. It's so original and, really, this is the first time I read something of the sorts. I really never wanted it to end, I was dreading the end.

Also, I don't know how to put into words the comfort I felt reading their exchanges and I just loved finding bits and pieces of what I told you in there.

I say it rarely, but this fic is from now on my comfort fic.

If tumblr eats this ask, I'm gonna cry

Thank you, really. Thank you so much ♡

!!!!!! aaahhhhh i’m so happy! and so excited!!!!!!!

listen: i had maybe 2,000 words written on Thursday morning and then i just sat down and wrote basically the entire thing. like my fingers just couldn’t stop once i got into a groove. i expected part one to be a cool five or seven thousand and then i came stumbling out of Google docs covered in sweat and clutching ten thousand words to my chest. this was such a fun, charming fic to write and i’m so over the moon that you like it. 🥰 and you said you want angst so 😈 i plan to deliver on the promise.

also, can we talk about the Jiya character haha. she became a character because i messaged her the second i was told i was writing for you and i was like “i don’t know them help” and she was like “AAAHHH I LOVE THEM AND I LOVE YOU AND YOU WILL DO GREAT” lolol.

i don’t know what else to say right now lol as much as i enjoy writing and love to receive the praises i never have words to say in response haha. but i’m so happy that you like this. and honestly, Jin is hard to write but when it was settled that it would be him i was like…*cracks knuckles* we both have the sense of humor of a dad I CAN DO THIS.

i am going to try to write part 2 asap because i am honestly dying to know what i do with them next lmao. i never really outline i just see where the writing takes me. (i have a general idea of the ending.)

i may have more questions for you as i conclude this. i hope the similarities between you and mc weren’t too heavy handed but it just felt so natural to weave the story together. i can’t state enough how much joy writing this has brought me 🥰💜

HAPPY HOLIDAY MEI!!!! 🥰🥰🥰