#i am just...
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Jason Todd as a character is deeply sad in a way I think a lot of us are afraid of. Imagine you were a child, taken in and more or less beloved. Things weren't perfect, even more at the end, but they were the best years you've known. Imagine you're growing up, youre changing and with how your guardians act, you're scared they won't love who you're becoming. Imagine that when it's at its worst, you're presented with what looks like a silver parachute. Sure, your dad didn't love you and your mom died and your guardians think you're capable of murder (and if they're willing to believe that, who knows what they really think of you. They definitely want to be rid of you.) None of that will matter if your birth mom wants you. And she does! You're so sure of it you fly to Ethiopia! And you meet her, and she's a little rough around the edges but so are you and she loves you! ...but she doesn't. It was all a trick. And you love her still, and you're so sorry she got caught up in your life because now she's dying with you and it'll be all your fault, but only if Batman doesn't come. And maybe he's been upset with you lately, and maybe he thought you killed that guy, but he doesn't want you dead. He doesn't want anyone dead, so you know he will save you. You believe that as a fact, it's not faith it's knowledge, he's coming and he won't let you die here! ...but he does. He's too late. You tell your mom you're sorry, right before the fireworks and then... nothing.
Until.
You're back, and you're not you, but it's okay because Talia is willing to bring you back (as a favor to bruce, who doesn't know you're alive) and then you're you again or sort of, you're different, you're wrong and you're so so angry and hurt. She brought you back for bruce, Bruce who wasn't fast enough, Bruce who has another kid in your boots, Bruce who will never killed the joker, not even for you . The world marched on without you, and now you're back like a piece of gum on their shoes, and youre pissed that's all you are so fuck it all you can at least become a thorn in their side, if you can never be their beloved soldier again, you can at least become a problem. While you're at it, you'll save all the people batman never could, you'll clean up the streets permanently because there's already blood on your hands and they already thought you were a murderer anyway. And in the meantime you'll scare that kid out of your boots before he goes and gets himself killed just like you did.
You don't know they want you back. You're too scared to hope. But they forgive you for the blood. They're willing to work with you. You didn't know. And somehow it's not too late.
#long post#jason todd#batman#i am just...#having feelings qbout him#imagine your family fears what you may become one day and then you do it#imagine dying knowing they thought you were capable of the worst action they could think of#imagine coming back and proving them right#imagine knowing rhey couldn't ever love you again#...imagine being proved wrong.
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𑂅 lexi. salt kissed star reader.
#ᡣ𐭩⚜️#a quick moodboard for my genshin s/i#i know i am posting a lot about it#but please do not think i have forgotten about mister boothill && my hsr s/i#i am just...#nervous to post abt him too much on this blog...#some people were not#um..#kind.#about hillxi on my last blog
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I finished book 6 and I am fine she lied.
#arcie reads#heaven official's blessing#tian guan ci fu#tgcf#white clothed calamity#xie lian#the highs and lows of this book ripped my heart to shreds#i am just...#i love/hate it so much#i ugly cried at the end#i got the notification that 8 has been shipped#and i have 7
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My jaw, AGAPE.
MY COUNTENANCE? AGHAST
I've been catching up on the HI3 YouTube channel recently, bc I haven't dedicated much time to keeping up with Hoyo's content lately. So I've been about 3 months behind (probably more) on their trailers and live streams and development vids and what-not
and. suffice to say I got to all the extremely recent Vita content
#I also just finished Part 2 Chapter 4 yesterday as of this post..#The tag on her Trailer is:#yesVita#wh-#what .#WHAT#what if I blow up#blazingshitpost#I am.. dismayed#I am just...#i-#wh#I'm gay#I can't.. TELL YOU what it is that they're doing with Vita as a character#but whatever it is I fucking love it so deeply#I hate her so much like I'm going to punch her right in her beautiful face#she pisses me off#she makes me SO angry#but god damn I love her#blazingshitpost honkai edition#Honkai#Honkai Imapct 3rd#HI3
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That collar thing is really doing something for me too. Hey. What are you. What are you doing to me. Cut it out
ME?? ME???? ITS EVERYONE ELSE DOING THIS TO ME!!! I AM BUT A WITNESS. HELP ME
#GET ME OUT#i am just...#oooh i have to. make a visual#i can be his favorite test subject i can follow all his rules sooo good#pleas eolsea pleas pleae psleanplease please#monnie answers
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Oh......Oh, Simon you gigantic idiot.
#zombies run#zombies run spoilers#zombies run s3 spoilers#zombies run s3#zrs3 spoilers#zrs3#I am just...#I am actually crying for this bastard#that scream was heart wrenching#I get it you asshole you think you wouldn't be forgiven#all that freaking guilt#but you're wrong#did you even want to die ???#no. And I refuse to believe him to be dead nope#can't be if Van Bark is alive then Simon is too#tell me Five doesn't breakdown after this I mean come on
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Ok I know it's just a mistake. I do.
But my therapist cancelled on me the day of my appointment last week because she wasn't feeling well, rescheduled me last night for this afternoon, and then no showed me after I took half a day off work to make this appointment.
She's officically 20 minutes late, and again I know it's just an honest mistake somewhere along the line.
But boy howdy does it feel like a hint/sign from the universe after the rest of the shit that's been going down.
#it speaks#I am just...#like#I feel like I'm shutting down at this point#I feel like I've been *screaming* for help for the past few weeks and every doctor I've talked to just blinks at me and says “drown bitch”.
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I Just realised Nimona and my past 2 obsessions all had something in common.
Black and red villain characters who have a blonde partner they'll cherish but something happens, and they're driven apart.
Yeah boiz, I'm talking about Hades and the Castlevania anime 👍 Also, how funny that they're all historical coded as well. Hades being in Ancient Greece, Castlevania being set in Medieval Times (I believe) and Nimona ofc being a futuristic medieval setting.
Also movie Ballister and Dracula share weird AF pointy goatee's and I thought that was funny and wanted to point that out.
#Yeah Hades and Drac also have things in common I pointed out a few months back in a doodle that for some reason gained a fuck load of notes#hades#castlevania anime#nimona#I am just...#random thought LOL
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I forgot how addicting this kink is to me 😭❤️ all ive been thinking about for the past month is how soft ive been looking and how much I want someone to get softer for. Just thinking about it gives me a really warm feeling inside and makes me all flustered 🥹 I am SUCH a slut for this.
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mom and brother came by for a visit for easter
ended up kinda breaking down around them which absolutely i do not wanna be doing but my god is my situation so fucking dire in so many ways right now
#financially physical healthily mental healthily#in so many specific ways amongst each of those categories#i am just...#things just feel really fucking hopeless lately and i don't know that it's possible for them to get better#because so much of what is causing me issue is so far beyond my own control#it's shit like the economy and whatever#and i don't have any control over that shit#i just got fucked by the way my life ended up turning out#and trying to help other people has put me in a worse position than i was before and i hate to admit that#cause it's absolutely the right thing to do to help other people but#i just#should've realized my limits and known we couldn't handle helping as much as we tried to#and i'm just so fucked#and i'm like#trying again to get out on the Apps and meet people#but i just don't know that i can possibly see any kind of future at this point even if i did find a partner and get my financial situation..#... sorted out#and my physical health is gonna kill me by the time i'm like 40 so what's even the point in trying to go on like this any-fucking-way#and i've lived a hopeless enough life up to this point that i know that's just depression talking and things will get better even if i can't#see a future at the moment and there is actually hope even if it feels hopeless and blah blah blah#but god sometimes you just gotta feel it#and sometimes you just gotta consider what if it's true#what if trying to tell myself this is all just depression and there really is hope is just a lie after all to make me feel better#what if it actually is hopeless#i won't even have the dignity of dying in a ditch wearing a clown costume or anything like that#i'll die slowly and painfully from something completely preventable and locked in the tomb of my own apartment#rented out at way above the cost it takes to maintain the place#so#fuck me i guess#eri blogs life
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shoutout to everyone who wants to infodump but cant string together coherent thoughts to form sentences and instead just look at you like this
#and by 'everyone' i mean me. im just hoping other people relate lmao#someone asks me about a thing i like and im just like h..................#been thinking about The Character for a solid 6 months+ and let me tell you. expldoeing soon#this is about ffxv btw . how am i supposed to say how much it lives in my brain . i cant think#text#1k#5k#10k#15k#20k#great googly moogly#30k#40k#50k#60k#boooy what da heeel#70k#80k#90k#will this be my first ever post to hit 100k... it remains to be seen#good lord. we did it#100k
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“here’s what we know about the uhc shooter”
WRONG! He is a suspect and we should treat him as such. He should be treated as innocent until proven guilty, not guilty until proven innocent. He’s a person of interest not the killer. I don’t care what the media or authorities are saying, he’s a human being who deserves a fair trial and deserves to be treated as innocent until proven otherwise.
#united healthcare#luigi mangione#brian thompson#uhc ceo#sorry I just see a lot of people spreading all this information and labeling him the killer and it’s like hold on#he’s a suspect#he’s not guilty of it#even if it seems likely he should be treated as innocent until proven guilty#labeling him as the killer before the trial even starts is not helping#am I making sense or do I sound stupid#sparkle.txt
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Something I find very interesting about this CEO assassination is that the guy who did it has basically become an American hero.
They're probably quite worried about what will happen when they catch this guy, especially with the level of public support he has. If they catch him alive and he gets to air his grievances, he could unite the entire country against the private healthcare system. It could go to trial and result in jury nullification, which would basically send a message to the American public that catching a rich body comes without consquences.
If they kill him to keep his mouth shut, I'd say people will burn cities to the ground, and it could potentially provoke even more anger against private health insurance. In a powder keg, it only takes one person lighting the match.
I know it sounds over the top, but a figurehead is a powerful thing, and that's what this shooter is. The rich understand it. That's why Blue Cross just magically decided they were going to pay for anesthesia again. Those dead-eyed psychopaths were going to take everything they could until someone shot that guy and that's the gospel truth.
Keep the hate fire burning. Watching their fear is the closest I've come to knowing joy since the Bush administration.
#Politics#brian thompson#united healthcare#Guys just wanted to make clear I am not a conservative#Just a poor communicator
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i really enjoy looking through reddit threads related to death metal because the replies sound like a groupchat for cartoon villains
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so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.
the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.
i had like, fifteen raw eggs.
i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.
except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.
so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.
#i feel a kinship with that snake#would that i could be a simple tube#and eat my fill of eggs#but being a person is rather nice too#my wife is a saint#and i promise that most of the time she is the goblin and i am the Serious Guy#but i had a little pique of insanity and you know what it was my junior year of college#and i deserved to just go a little insane#you spent 65 hours a week being Rational and then you go home and eat like twenty raw eggs
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