#i am just thinking through some je thoughts and this is a point i get hung up on sometimes | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

juyeonszn · 11 months ago

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JE NE SAIS QUOI

PAIRING jacob bae x f!reader

WORD COUNT 7.33k

GENRES smut ﹒fluff ﹒itty bitty angst

WARNINGS 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, mature language, strangers to ?? to lovers, volleyball team captain!jacob (ohhhh ive been waiting for this one..), lots of 97 liner cameos, jacob is an honorary tbz frat member but isn’t actually a member lol, reader is down bad for him, mentions of alcohol, volleyball terms that i learned from haikyuu 😭, an annoying ex girlfriend, AURKAY here we go: bathroom sex, wall sex, bathroom sink counter sex, and mirror sex all in one, doggy style and also missionary? i guess?, NO FOREPLAY BUT FUCK IT WE FALL LIKE SOLDIERS FOR REAL, marking-ish, unprotected sex, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, and everyone’s favorite! creampie!, a cutesy ending

SUMMARY jacob thought the concept of fraternities was stupid. so stupid that despite every single one of his friends being in one, he still refused to join. however, after meeting you at one of the tbz parties, he’s starting to think maybe they’re not that horrible.

MORE HELLAURRRR ok i know this is 45 mins overdue but i barely finished this last night and i worked at 5 am this morning so 😭 ANYWAYYY this fic is actually my favorite so far… idk i just have this natural writing affinity when it comes to jacob which u can tell by the length…. if u enjoyed pls reblog! and don’t forget to check out the other fics in the series!

PERM TAGLIST @winterchimez @maessseongs @itsbeeble @zzoguri @deoboyznet @cloverdaisies @vernyangel @ericlvr

TAGLIST @millksea

SERIES MASTERLIST

“And there’s another point for the IST U Bears. Wow these boys are on fire tonight.”

The announcer’s voice booms throughout the gymnasium, intertwining with the cheers of the crowd. They all sound like the buzzing of a bee in Jacob’s ears, but that’s a good thing. It pricks at his skin, lighting it on fire and getting his morale going.

The team just needed one more point and they would win this set, sending them on their way to the championship game. This would be the first time in IST history that their boys’ volleyball team would make it this far, and that was all thanks to Jacob becoming captain for his senior year.

Their coach calls for a quick time out, giving Jacob a moment of reprieve before his final serve of the game. He wipes away the sweat on his forehead, shaking the front of his jersey to air it out and cool him down a little. The team’s manager passes him a water bottle. He loves the adrenaline rush that courses through his veins when he’s on the court. It’s unlike any other feeling he’s ever felt in his life.

“Alright, Bae. You’ve got this, right?” Jacob’s coach gives him a pointed look.

“Of course, Coach. There’s no way in hell that we’re losing this game tonight.” He gives him a firm nod, lips curled into a confident smile. There wasn’t a chance that Jacob Bae would go down without a fight. He was securing that championship seat whether anyone liked it or not.

The team heads back out and a referee hands Jacob the volleyball. He blows a raspberry, twirling the ball on his fingertips while waiting for the whistle. As soon as he hears it, he takes a couple steps back. A breeze cuts through his hair when he runs, executing his infamous jump serve with practiced ease. The ball flies past the players of the other team, hitting the court just in front of the line.

His teammates are yelling and throttling his body around before he even realizes that they’ve won. Some of them are riling up the crowd, others are on their knees crying tears of joy. He was anticipating this outcome, but for some reason he’s still shell shocked. Everything around him is static and white noise.

“Holy shit, Jacob. I can’t believe you did that,” Kim Mingyu, the team’s star middle blocker, slaps him on the back. He’s also drenched in sweat, patting his face with a towel.

“You and me both, to be completely honest.” Jacob laughs a bit, collecting his things so he can head to the locker room.

He’s slightly grateful that tonight’s game ended a little early, giving him enough time to get ready before the Tau Beta Zeta party. He wasn’t even that big of a party person. He only went to provide moral support for his friends who happened to all be in the fraternity. Most people would even go as far as assuming he was also in it considering how often he was spotted at that house, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. He actually thought fraternities were dumb. In his eyes, they held no purpose.

A bunch of guys living together under the guise of brotherhood when in reality they spent most of their time partying was just stupid. You could do that without the fancy titles or the expected respect from fellow students. He loved his friends, truly, but he didn’t understand the hype.

Jacob showers quickly and changes into a hoodie and some baggy jeans. He ruffles his hair in front of a mirror, grabbing his backpack and swinging it over his shoulder. As he’s preparing to leave, someone calls out to him.

“Yo, Cobie! Are you going to the TBZ party?”

He spins around to find the source, learning it belongs to Jeong Jaehyun. The setter nods, pulling his hood over his head. “Like I always do. Why?”

“I heard through the grapevine that Haeun was going with some friends. I just thought I’d warn you,” he squeezes the shoulder that isn’t hoisting his backpack. “I figured you’d want to take things chill this next week with the championship game on Friday.”

Jacob hums in response and Jaehyun takes that as his cue to be on his way. Of course this would be his luck. Just as he thinks life is getting easier for him, something has to come and throw a curveball at him. This something happened to be his ex-girlfriend, who’d done nothing but terrorize Jacob while they were together. Imagine the most toxic, vile person in the world, then dress her in Jimmy Choo sandals and a designer handbag. That was Haeun.

The only logical reason for her to attend the TBZ party was because his friends were still trying to rack up their numbers. He wouldn’t put it past them if that meant acquiring any and every student on campus. After tonight they would find out who won the stupid competition between them and the KAT sorority, hopefully putting a pin in their godforsaken rivalry once and for all. The winner determined if he was even going to the big end of semester party or not.

Jacob sighs, heading out so he can help out his friends in any way he can. Now that he’s been cursed with the knowledge that he might run into his ex, he’s half tempted to just ditch the whole thing. (He won’t, but the idea is flirting with him.) They’ve been broken up for well over a year now, but somehow she always manages to worm her way back and make him miserable. Quite frankly, he’s tired of it.

When Jacob arrives at the Tau Beta Zeta house, his friends are all over the place. Sangyeon is typing away on his phone, pacing back and forth in the living room. The action from the calm and collected fraternity president makes him kind of nervous. He escapes into the kitchen where Sunwoo and Eric are putting away all of the alcohol. Kevin and Chanhee are complaining about God knows what to each other, and he can faintly hear Hyunjae and Haknyeon upstairs. His juniors start clapping and hollering as soon as they see him enter.

“Woah woah woah, we’ve got a celebrity on our hands guys.” Eric jokes, dapping up the older male.

“Congrats, Cobie,” Sunwoo joins in, fist bumping his senior and handing him a beer bottle. “Do you think you’re gonna win next week?”

“I sure hope so,” Jacob snorts, uncapping the bottle with the opener on the fridge. “I didn’t bring us all this way for nothing.”

Nothing super eventful happens after that, just the guys setting up for the party. They’re projecting that this is the one that secures their victory for the competition. Jacob really couldn’t care less, sitting himself on the couch and scrolling through his phone as he nurses his beer. They all maneuver around him, setting up speakers here, lights there. It’s all pointless in his eyes.

When the party has finally started and the house is packed with partygoers, Jacob hasn’t budged from his spot. The only reason he has a fresh beer is because Eric grabbed one for him in passing. This was what he subjected himself to for hours on end every Friday night. His ass cemented to one of the sofas in the living room and his phone being his main source of entertainment.

It’s as you’re exiting the kitchen with your friends that you notice him. You laugh into your drink at the boredom written all over his face. His extremely handsome face. His hair falls into his eyes and slightly obstructs his vision, but that just accelerates the beating of your heart. You don’t know what it is, but there’s something about him that makes you want to learn his name and everything there is about him.

“Y/N, have you found a nice boy to give you a fun time before hell week?” Haeun asks you, running perfectly manicured fingernails through her hair. “That’s the whole point of being here, isn’t it?”

You didn’t want to tag along, honestly. You were content with staying in tonight and studying for your A&PII exam. You only agreed to get Haeun off your back, because you were well aware of how annoying she could get when she didn’t get what she wanted. She gave the KAT sorority president a run for her money sometimes.

“Uh, no. I’ll just see where the night takes me,” you shrug, keeping a poker face so she doesn’t see who you’re already ogling.

Knowing her, she would make it difficult for you. She would torture you and tease you relentlessly because that was just who she was. Haeun wasn’t satisfied unless she felt good about herself. You didn’t know why you were still friends with her. Maybe it was because she was one of the first people who sought you out after your transfer to IST. Maybe it was because you were afraid of being blacklisted by practically every other student if you dropped her. Her power was insane.

“Boring,” she drags out the vowels, rolling her eyes. “I’m gonna see if Cha Eunwoo is here yet.”

You watch as she disappears into the sardine-packed house, looking for the senior. Your other friend, Minjee, just sighs once the dictator is out of earshot— which isn’t even that far considering how loud the music is. She turns to you with a weak smile.

“Don’t let her ruin anything for you. Just go enjoy yourself before she does.”

You don’t need to be told a second time, chugging the contents of your red solo cup for some liquid courage. Your mission was simple; be ten times more fun than the party itself. That would surely catch Couch Boy’s attention. It wasn’t like the Tau Beta Zeta guys didn’t put all their effort into throwing the craziest parties at the school, but clearly this dude wasn’t for it.

Your feet carry you over to the living room, your teeth chewing on your lip nervously. You’d never hit on someone before, let alone at a party. The scariest part was the potential rejection in front of hundreds of your peers. But it was okay! You could do this. You think.

“Hi.”

The word leaves your mouth without your brain even registering it, eyes wide like you’d just done something wrong. He looks up from his phone, mirroring your expression. His tongue darts out to swipe across his bottom lip and then he’s scooting over to make room for you.

“Hi,” he says after a few seconds.

“I’m Y/n,” you extend your hand awkwardly, but he takes it, shaking it with a firm grip that has you crossing your legs. “I— uh— this is kinda weird, but um— I saw you from over there and thought you were cute.”

You swallow thickly, tucking some hair behind your ear. How did Haeun do this on the regular? He smiles at your fumbling and oh God, you think you might pass out from how attractive he is. You don’t have much alcohol in your system and you’re starting to regret how sober you are.

“I’m Jacob,” he rests an arm on the back of the couch. “Thanks for coming up to me. I would’ve missed your pretty face otherwise.”

Is he flirting with you? Holy shit, he’s flirting with you.

“Do you come to Tau Beta Zeta parties often?” You ask to continue the conversation. He nods.

“I practically live here,” Jacob laughs, eyes crinkling at the corners. “How about you, Y/N? What are you studying?”

Oh, so he was one of the members. You wouldn’t have guessed with how disinterested he seemed at his own party. It takes you a moment to realize he’s shifted the focus onto you, scanning your features for a response. You purse your lips.

“Not really. I’m more of a homebody. I’m only here to let loose before finals. I actually just transferred to IST U this semester for the exceptional Pre-Med department. I’m still sorta navigating my way around and meeting people.”

So that’s why he’s never seen you on campus. You’re completely new to the school and you’re in a completely different department than he is. Nonetheless, you’re really cute and Jacob hasn’t put himself out there since breaking up with Haeun. He’s been so concentrated on maintaining his grades and putting in the work for volleyball, he hasn’t even had the time to. But now that finals and the championship game are all next week, he supposes he can allot some just this once…

“How are you liking it here so far?” He asks you genuinely. It winds you a little. You’ve never had someone actually care about what you had to say or show interest in you. Even at your old school, no one batted an eye at you. You doubt anyone knew you transferred.

“The campus itself is beautiful. It’s a lot bigger than my previous one. And so far, everyone’s been nothing but kind to me. I wish I would’ve gone with my gut and came here straight out of high school.” You pick at a thread on your skirt.

“We all live and we all learn, that’s a part of life,” Jacob shrugs, nudging your leg with his foot. “Would you like to grab another drink with me?”

“Yeah, that would be great, actually.” You both stand from the couch.

Since sitting with him, the party has grown in size. Fellow students filled every available corner of the house, nearly standing body to body in order to fit everyone in the building. The amount of attendees should be a fire hazard, honestly. Jacob laces your fingers together so he doesn’t lose you in the mass of people blocking the path to the kitchen. There’s a game of Rage Cage going on where there’s usually a round of beer pong and it looks like this one guy is about to die with how many empty cups are in front of him.

“What are you drinking?” Jacob turns to you once you’ve reached the alcohol table. You shake your head.

“Surprise me.”

“You’re playing Russian Roulette here, Y/N,” his lips curl up into a devious smile that most people would run away from, especially when it’s on the face of a stranger. “You’re really trusting me with your life right now.”

Luckily, you’ve always been into that type of thing. Nice guys who looked like they could give you an unforgettable night. And in the short period you’ve known Jacob, he appeared to be just that. All you can do is nip at your lower lip, the fleet of a smile gracing his sight.

He passes you a cup and gestures for you to taste his concoction. It burns the course of your throat, but doesn’t remind you of straight battery acid. You give him a thumbs up of approval and he cheers, fist bumping the air. You giggle at his reaction. Perhaps stepping out of your comfort zone was the best decision you’ve made all night. He knocks his own cup against yours and takes a swig, wincing.

“I might’ve made mine just a bit stronger than usual,” his voice is hoarse and you can’t help but laugh a little harder. “I put all of my expertise into yours.”

“It’s good to know you’re a gentleman and you’re not trying to get me drunk on purpose,” you tease, sipping at the beverage gingerly. “However, that does mean you’ll need to be flashier in your attempts to woo me. I have very high standards.”

Jacob’s smile widens, his teeth peeking from behind his lips. The expression makes you lightheaded. It should be a crime to look as good as he does, without even trying either. “I don’t know… All I’m hearing is that you want me to woo you…”

He’s caught you red-handed, but it isn’t like you were doing much to conceal that fact. You’d like to think you were being very obvious with your intentions on purpose. You glance up at him from the rim of your cup, your lower back leaning on the counter. “Maybe I do… Are you opposed to that, Jacob?”

He takes a step closer to you, and then another until he has you caged between him and the kitchen counter. Really, he couldn’t give any less of a fuck about the clusters of people nearby. When Jacob Bae had a goal in mind, he made damn sure to work for it. His volleyball career could attest to that. His drink slides across the surface, spilling a little on the back of his hand. He leans down to your ear. “Not at all. But I don’t think you’ll be able to handle what happens when I succeed.”

You feel your cheeks warm, your throat drying, and it’s not because of the effects from the alcohol you’ve just consumed. You’ve known this guy, what, thirty minutes max? And he was already figuring out exactly what it took to get your gears grinding? What a quick fucking leaner. He knows he’s won, too, if the way you’ve gone cotton-mouthed is anything to go by. The ghost of a grin brushes the shell of your ear and it requires the entirety of your strength not to pounce on this stranger in the middle of this goddamn party.

“Everybody who isn’t Tau Beta Zeta, get the fuck out! Someone called the cops!”

A record scratch-like halt puts a pin in the moment, forcing Jacob to step away from you with a groan. This would be just your luck, wouldn’t it? You found a ‘nice boy to give you a fun time before hell week’ and then this stupid party gets raided. It’s annoying, actually. Aggravating, even. Your lips unconsciously form pout out of disappointment and Jacob feels a piece of himself die along with it.

“Shit, you gotta get out of here before they show up and start dragging people out,” he runs a hand through his hair with a hiss.

If it had been a minute earlier, you would’ve fallen to your knees by now. Unfortunately, that was not the case. You needed to find Haeun and Minjee. You do a quick 180° in hopes of spotting either of them.

“Yeah, I need to find my—” You interrupt yourself when you see the former of the two stomping towards you with an indistinguishable look in her eye. “—Friends…”

“Let’s go, Y/N,” her tone is snappy and she glances over at Jacob for a brief moment. You don’t have time to realize what’s happening until her petite fingers are wrapping around your wrist, hauling you out of the kitchen. A yelp escapes your lips as you turn to wave to your… whatever he is to you now.

Initially, you assumed she was just ticked off by the whole cop call thing. At least, that made sense if she’d gotten anywhere with that Cha Eunwoo guy she had been talking about all day leading up to the party. But then Minjee’s driving you back your apartment and she’s whipping around in the passenger seat to give you the nastiest glare you’ve ever been on the receiving end of.

“What the hell is your problem?” She looks two seconds away from bursting a vein in her forehead.

“Wh— huh?” You’re thoroughly confused. What the fuck did you do to her?

“Why were you talking to Jacob Bae? You do know that’s my ex, right?” Her gaze has softened, but could still very much kill you if she wanted to. The wrath of Lee Haeun was more terrifying than that of any horror movie villain to ever exist.

No.

No no no no. The world stops on its axis and it’s like you’ve been told your favorite song was written about a used tissue. You don’t hear anything else she says, feeling like you just had ear muffs placed over your head. This isn’t fair. The universe officially hated you. You were number one on the list of people who deserved the worst possible fate, your name underlined twice with red ink and a star beside it.

You really didn’t have it in you to care about what Haeun thought. If this was the reason you were finally given to stop talking to her, then so be it. What you were worried about was Jacob hating you. He clearly saw that you were friends. Why would he want to pursue anything with one of his ex’s friends? Any sane person would avoid that situation if they could.

Despite not knowing that it was Jacob specifically, you knew the details of their breakup and why things ended so messily. It made sense that she was an authoritarian even in her relationships. That was just in her nature. If she didn’t control every aspect of her life, she would lose her mind. Normally you wouldn’t have batted an eye at that, not nearly enough energy in you to deal with that level of bossiness. But it was starting to bleed into your personal life. And that was a line you weren’t so willing to let her cross.

You could only pray that this was fixable.

Finals week passes by in a breeze, and before he knows it, Jacob is on the court for the championship game. There’s a different aura to him than there usually is when it comes to his volleyball games. He feels ten times more determined. (He would never admit to anyone that it’s because he’s hoping he’ll see you at the end of semester party tonight.)

He actually really enjoyed your presence and your personality. The rate at which his heart beat around you was something he hadn’t felt in a while and it was nice. He liked those little butterflies that came with the start of something new. He liked the jitters and the giggles and everything in between. It reminded him that there was still youth, there was still excitement in his life.

Sure, it was kind of weird that you were friends with his ex-girlfriend. The same ex-girlfriend that he couldn’t stand being in the same room as for more than five minutes at a time. But from your reaction to her dragging you away, Jacob thinks that you didn’t know about him and Haeun. If you did, you wouldn’t have gone up to him in the first place. Unless you knew and just didn’t care, then he didn’t care either. It’s not like he ever plans to allow Haeun to resurface and sink her nails back into him. That’s one mistake he’ll never make again.

Before he knows it, he’s swapping back into the game. He rolls his neck and pops his fingers, getting into position to receive this next serve. Even with this fire lit underneath him, both teams are neck and neck. With every point that IST scored, the opposing team would just catch back up without breaking a sweat. If Jacob wasn’t captain and wasn’t used to being so calm and collected during matches, he’d probably start getting as pissed as Kim Mingyu looks right now.

The referee blows his whistle and the ball is over the net. Jeon Jungkook, the team’s libero, dives for it, the volleyball bouncing off the back of his hand and back up into the air. It’s currently the fourth set and IST has two under their belt. They needed to win this one lest they wanted to go into the fifth. Everyone is on edge, but won’t stop at nothing that isn’t victory. Jacob shifts to set the ball to Jaehyun, who swings his arm back and spikes it to the other side of the court.

One of their players receives it with ease, and they’re back to square one. There’s that back and forth of both teams setting and spiking, only for the other to receive and send it back over. Jacob feels like this game is never gonna end, especially with how agile their libero is and how in tune he is with their setter. But then he makes eye contact with Lee Seokmin, an opposite hitter who’s proven time and time again that he’ll go wherever Jacob needs him to, do whatever Jacob wants him to. And that’s exactly what he does.

Mingyu bumps the ball towards the net and just when they think Jacob’s going to set it, he swaps places with Seokmin. The hitter gets beneath the volleyball and pushes it off the tip of his fingers, watching as Jacob perfectly times his jump to smack it with the palm of his hand. It’s something the two had only ever practiced a handful of times, but knew it would come in handy when everything was right. The entire interaction is flawless, and the captain’s spike lands, scoring that final point that IST needed to win the set and the game.

Just like the previous game, Jacob doesn’t even register the roaring cheers from everyone around him until they’re throwing him and Seokmin up like they themselves were volleyballs. The team is going insane, hyping up the crowd and running around the court like children. A sense of pride swells in Jacob’s chest, a crinkly-eyed smile nestling on his face like the fondness of a father.

They continue the joy-train all the way into the locker room. Jacob showers and throws on some gray cargo pants, pairing them with a black half-zip jacket. Most of the team was going to the end of semester party tonight, treating it as a post-celebratory reward for their big win. It was still so surreal for the captain. All of the pressure that had been riding on him the entire season, the strive for being someone bigger than himself. He’s grateful it paid off.

Meanwhile, you were damn near ripping your hair out, nerves eating away at the edges of your stomach like you were with the skin around your nails. After a taxing week of final exams and the anxiety of wanting to see Jacob Bae again to clear any bad air, you found yourself at the TBZ end of semester party along with Haeun and Minjee. You were thankful that your life was intact, Haeun’s irritation simmering into something a lot more bearable.

Though just a smidge pissed off that you didn’t do your research, she wasn’t as mad about the whole break of girl-code incident. She got off of your back a little too easily, though, so you were still waiting for another strike. You couldn’t help but feel as if she was planning another form of action.

You’d been at this party for at least an hour, and the attendance was double that of last week’s. They weren’t kidding when they said this was the party of all parties at IST University. You were starting to think that maybe Jacob really was going to avoid you like you were the Black Plague or equivalent. Why else would he not be at one of his own parties? Wasn’t it, like, a requirement for fraternity members to make an appearance at the things they hosted?

Being friends with Haeun really screwed everything up for you. Not only did you have to sleep with one eye open, but also keep your distance from just about every male on campus out of fear that she fucked with them, too. Why did it have to be Jacob Bae? Why couldn’t it have been someone more douchey, more up her alley? He was way too sweet, way too cute for someone of her kind. He deserved someone that could hand him the world. (Not that you were insinuating that it was you, but even you knew you were a better person than Lee Haeun.)

And as if a higher being truly existed, your prayers are answered in the form of Jacob Bae walking through the front door. A gaggle of partygoers surround him and the group of guys he’s with, including some of the fraternity brothers. You faintly hear whoops and hollers over the near deafening music, everyone patting them on their backs. Most of the attention is on Jacob and his gorgeous smile, though.

“IST U’s pride and joy! National volleyball champion, Jacob-fucking-Bae,” Lee Hyunjae wolf-whistles, shaking him around like he was maraca.

Jacob laughs, looking down at the floor to shy away from all of the eyes on him. He’s glad everybody is pleased with his accomplishment, but really all he wants to do is find you. He’s still not 100% sure you’re even here, but he has high hopes that maybe you were into him as much as he was with you. Now that he’s free of both volleyball and schoolwork for a while, he can take his time getting to know you better.

You psych yourself up to go over to him once his audience has parted and gone back to whatever it was they were doing prior to his arrival. A grimace consumes your features as you knock back the cup of jungle juice in your hand, blowing a raspberry. Minjee gives you a smile of encouragement, like she knows exactly what you’re about to do.

However, someone beats you to it. You watch with bated breath as Haeun flips her hair over her shoulder, her heels clicking on the wooden floor all the way up to Jacob. The sight of another girl talking to the guy you’re interested in has never made you as ill as it does right now, her glossy lips pouted and her hands clasped behind her back.

“Heard about the big win, Jakey,” she smiles almost evilly, calling him by a nickname that he hasn’t been called in months. “Wanna claim your prize?”

Jacob knows what she’s doing. It’s obvious. Haeun saw the two of you together last week and now she’s pretending that she gives a shit just so she can feel like she’s the one in control. He’s seen this scene too many times to fall for it. He pokes his cheek with his tongue, hands shoving into the front pocket of his jacket.

“Don’t you have someone else that you can bother, tonight? I’m spoken for.” He shrugs, stepping around her. Okay, so perhaps you’d only had one conversation together. That was enough for him. He doesn’t have to search far or wide for you, a grin replacing his deadpan once he sees your face. “Hi.”

“H-Hi,” your voice comes out unsteady. “I— uh— wh— well, I kinda thought you were avoiding me.”

His eyebrows quirks up. “Why would I do that?”

“Because I’m friends with your tyrant of an ex-girlfriend and I’m a horrible person for still wanting you,” you begin to ramble, playing with a strand of your hair. “And then you weren’t here.”

Jacob laughs, pushing your hand down and tucking the same piece behind your ear. “I don’t really care that you’re friends with Haeun. Honestly, no one’s ever *really friends with her. It’s hard to stand a person who’s that insufferable. And I’m on the volleyball team. Tonight was the championship game, which is why I was late.”

“So you don’t hate me and want me to die?”

“I could never.” He shakes his head, taking one of your hands into his.

“If that’s the case, then can you show me how to properly enjoy a frat party?” You trace patterns on his palm.

“I’ll be so real with you, Y/N, even *I don’t know how to do that,” he snorts. “I’m not a Tau Beta Zeta member, so I guess that explains it.”

“Woah what?” You gape at him. “This entire time I thought you were…”

“Nah, I’m just friends with all of the guys here. I might as well be, but I’m not. Frats are stupid to me,” Jacob leads you out of the living room and into the kitchen to get himself a drink. “Though, I don’t think they’re that bad anymore.”

As he’s reaching for an empty cup, a thought crosses your mind. It’s bold, but you don’t have the willpower to force it away. “You know, you didn’t get to show me what would happen if you succeeded in sweeping me off of my feet.”

He pauses what he’s doing, turning to glance at you over his shoulder with dark eyes. Are you saying what he thinks you’re saying?

“And something’s telling me you were extremely successful.”

*Fuck the drink, Jacob thinks to himself, dropping the cup in favor of whisking you away. He pulls you into the nearest empty room, which happens to be the downstairs bathroom. From one second to the next, you’re pinned to the door, both of your wrists firm in his grip. He’s so close that his nose nudges yours, lips only a hair’s breadth from your own.

“Should’ve known you were dangerous from the get go,” he breathes, the distance between you driving you crazy. “You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into.”

A gasp escapes you, your eyelids fluttering shut. This was pure insanity. Before you can complain about the lack of contact, Jacob’s mouth is on yours, lips moving against yours so skillfully and so roughly. He takes your wrists into one hand, holding them above your head while the other slips beneath your top. His fingertips burn into your skin and you don’t hold back the whine that sneaks out from your chest.

You pull back for air, sighing when his kiss travels down your neck and focuses on your collarbone. It’s not enough, you need to feel him everywhere. Your pulse is racing and you’re sure he can feel it when he leaves a trail of nibbles and kisses along your jawline. They travel south, paving their path on what’s visible of your jugular and sternum.

There’s a haste of fingers roaming and lips exploring. This was uncharted territory for, seeing as you hadn’t been in a situation like this since moving schools. If there was anyone you wanted to get down and dirty with in the bathroom of a frat party, it was Jacob Bae. His free hand wanders under your skirt, a knuckle running along your clothed, but damp, slit. You both hiss.

“Already so wet for me?” He asks you smugly, the curve of his smile carved into the space where your ear meets your neck. You don’t have the patience to power through any teasing.

“Need you so bad, Jacob,” you don’t like the pitchiness of your voice, or how you’re pretty much begging right now. “Wanna skip the foreplay.”

Jacob grins almost wickedly, kissing the tip of your nose. “So ready and so eager for me. Your wish is my command, sweetheart.”

He doesn’t waste any time getting you out of your clothes, starting with your top and then shoving your skirt past your thighs. You kick it off and move to help him. His jacket comes off in one fluid motion, giving you the perfect display of his muscular back and toned abdomen. All of years of volleyball came to fruition in the form of his godlike sculpted body.

You drag a nail through the valley of his abs, unbuttoning his cargoes and palming him through his underwear. He curses under his breath, forehead falling to your shoulder. You may very well be the death of him, he decides. When he’s finally had enough, he swats your hand away, removing the briefs so he can give you what you so graciously asked for. He pumps his length a couple times before guiding the tip to your entrance.

Jacob hooks one of your legs around his waist, pushing your panties to the side so he can slip into you carefully. You don’t even stop the moan that breaches your vocal cords, back arching off of the door and your chest pushing into his. The stretch burns slightly, but not nearly enough to interrupt the pleasure coursing throughout your body. There’s a fire in the pit of your stomach that he fans the flames of the deeper he sinks into you, lips imprinted into the skin of your neck.

His fingers burn the skin of your thigh where he holds it up, slowly pressing his cock into cunt and sliding out as soon as he bottoms out. You’re dizzy, so dizzy that stars have begun to form behind your eyelids and he’s only just started. He rocks into you at a meticulous pace, the blunt nails of his other hand digging into your hip to keep himself composed.

He wants to take his time with you first. He wants you to feel every ridge and vein of his cock as your walls squeeze him in. He wants the feeling of the two of you connected to be engraved into your brain, a memory that nothing could erase even if it tried. Your head knocks against the door when you crane it to give him more access to the column of your throat, whining when he sucks marks into the surface.

“F-Fuck, Jacob,” you whimper. “Feel— god— feel so, so stuffed.”

You practically hiccup your words, overstimulated with everything that’s going on at once. It’s too much. The way he nips at your skin. The way he groans every time you clench around him. The way he’s *buried into you like you were the only source of warmth he’ll ever get. It’s too much, but it feels fucking fantastic.

“Yeah, baby? Am I fucking you good? Giving it to you like no one else can?” He exerts himself, his lips slipping on the thin sheen of sweat coating your bodies. All you can do is moan again, bucking your hips into his to minimize the gap between you as much as physically possible.

His cock is just the right balance of girth and length, filling you up and hitting the spots you need him to. Your sanity falls through the cracks with every click of his hips into yours. He *is fucking you good. He *is giving it to you like no one else can. It didn’t even take him long to figure out what you liked, using that knowledge to his advantage so he could ravage you.

You’re too lost in the pleasure to notice the coil in your stomach curling to the point of snapping. With each ram of his dick in your pussy, he winds you up more and more until it breaks in half. You see nothing but white for a few seconds, spots of various colors bleeding into it. A sound so far away from you bursts out from its home in the back of your throat. Your orgasm coaxes out his, painting your walls with milky ropes and a moan of his own.

The two of you pant breathlessly, lips brushing as you attempt to calm down. Jacob pinches your side, kissing you once before pulling out and letting go of your hip. “Do you have the energy to give me one more? I don’t think I’m finished with you just yet.”

You let out a guttural groan, nodding and colliding your mouths in another desperate kiss. Your fingers run through the strands of his hair, tugging at the nape of his neck as he transfers you to sink. He spins you around, bending you over the counter and pecking your shoulder as he eases his cock back into the velvet of your pussy.

You’re both still sensitive, sighing at the feeling of a second intrusion. He grips your hip and presses down on your lower back just as he speeds up the pacing of his thrusts. Instinctively, you hike up a knee onto the counter, wanting him even deeper and even harder than previously. Heat pools in that same spot at the base of your abdomen, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes.

“Look in the mirror, sweetheart,” he grunts, throwing his head back and tightening his grasp on your waist. “Want you to watch me fuck you stupid.”

You wail, eyes heavy lidded as you witness Jacob plowing into you from behind. It hurts, the fact that you can’t even convey into sounds how amazing it feels. They’re all trapped in your chest and throat, begging to be set free. You wish they could bounce off of the walls, reverberating in your ears. Your cheeks are wet from the tears that have spilled over. You look like a mess with your makeup smeared and your face puffy. Anyone who saw you after this would know exactly what went down in this bathroom.

Jacob doesn’t slow his assault, instead hovering over and trapping you beneath his broad frame. He drills into you deeper, harder, faster— and oh god you don’t want him to stop. You think he’s making good on his word, fucking you so insanely stupid that not a single thought occupies your mind. All there is, is Jacob Bae and the deliciousness of his cock wedging itself further into your cunt like he wants to live there.

“You’re taking me so well, baby. So so well,” he coos, your back curving into his chest.

Your elbows might give out from supporting your weight and now Jacob’s too, especially with how empty your head is. You don’t really have the consciousness to keep yourself up. It’s at the point where the mirror has started to fog, a blurry image of him abusing your pussy in your line of sight.

He knows you’re on the brink of an orgasm, your walls spasming slightly in warning. He pulls out enough to flip you onto your back, pushing in and resuming where he left off. His thumb sneaks down to your clit, rubbing in precise circles with precise pressure. Despite there being no mirror covered in steam in the shape of your bodies in front of you, your vision is still hazy. You can barely see the expressions Jacob makes, his brows knitting together and lower lip between his teeth.

You pull him down to connect your mouths, whining into him as he continues to fuck into you like there wasn’t a whole party still going on on the side of the door. Your knees are folded to your chest, allowing his cock to kiss all the way inside of you. “I’m— fuck— so close, Cobie.”

“C’mon, baby, you can cum for me,” he goads, applying more pressure to the shape he’s drawing on your clit.

One particularly timed thrust and the bumping of his pelvic bone on the sensitive bundle of nerves tips you off of your peak. Your climax washes over you, tidal waves of pleasure cresting at full force. You moan loudly, the rippling of your walls triggering Jacob’s own release.

He pulls out gently, for the final time. His chest rises and falls rapidly, in sync with yours. You’re both exhausted, spent from going at it like jackrabbits— as if you’d never get the chance to do it again. You meet eyes and then burst into laughter, your hands coming up to cup his cheeks.

“That was… Wow…” You breathe, moving some of his hair from obstructing his eyesight.

“I always follow through with my promises, you know,” he wraps his arms around your waist. “So, what do I get now that I’ve wooed you?”

You press the hints of a kiss to his lips. “An exclusive all-access pass to me, my phone number, and the rights to ask me out on a date whenever you please.”

Jacob smiles that crinkle eye smile of his, knowing full well that he plans on cashing all three of those right now. He may have not been the biggest fan of fraternities or their parties, but he sure as hell loved them at this moment in time.

He thinks he was a winner in more ways than one that night.

#deoboyznet #the boyz #the boyz x reader #the boyz smut #tbz #tbz x reader #tbz smut #the boyz jacob #tbz jacob #jacob bae x reader #jacob bae smut #jacob x reader #jacob smut #juyeonszn #blackoutorbackout🍻

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dixonsstinkysock · 1 month ago

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"Je t'aime de tout mon cœur."

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader, Daryl Dixon x Daughter, (slight Carol x Reader???)

Era: Daryl Dixon: The Book of Carol

Pronouns: She/Her

Warnings: Swearing, Violence, Descriptions of the Dead… THIS TAKES PLACE IN EPISODE 1 OF THE BOOK OF CAROL, IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN IT AND WANT NO SPOILERS, DO NOT READ.

Word Count: 3,441

Chapter Summary: Carol, Reader, and Remy start their search for someone who’s been gone far too long.

A/N: This is (sorta) my first x reader fic. I’m super excited and nervous at the same time, I’ve worked very hard on this chapter so I hope it’s readable. Also this entire fic was inspired by @villifix !! They are so creative and are basically the reason I’m writing this 😭😭. Sooo Thank you so much for inspiring me! (and letting me use your character concept muah) I don’t know alot about guns or cars so bear with me here. One more thing, I feel like Carol is very protective over the reader and Remy in this, which is mostly biased because I think she’s hot and I want her to protect me…okay goodbye.

Click–clack..click–clack..click–

“Ow! Damn– ...Sorry.” You adjust the rearview mirror to glance at the 17 year old in the backseat– who should be asleep– instead messing with that stupid butterfly knife.

“What happened? I thought you were sleeping.” You mentioned, slightly annoying at the fact she’s still trying to perfect her knife tricks, over getting some rest. Carol looks back at the hazel-eyed girl, checking if the wound is bad enough to pull-over. “You’ll be okay Rem, it’s just a small knick. Be more careful–Please. We wanna bring you back home in one piece.”

“Right..I’ll be more careful.” Remy agreed, her voice small and soft, as if she’s a little..embarrassed. “Uhm..Mom, could we stop for a minute?” she asks with a slight country accent–an accent she got from being raised by a certain redneck archer. “I kinda have to pee..”

“Sure Angel Face, it can’t hurt us to take a short break.” You smile at her through the rearview and turn to pull onto a dirt patch on the side of the road.

Remy walks a little out into the brush–knife in its sheath–hidden a little under her purple zebra striped dress. You and Carol are leaned up against your car, a white, 2010 Toyota Matrix. “Have you noticed anything off about Remy recently?” You question, turning to face Carol. “It’s like she’s…I don’t know–Distracted?” Carol responds immediately, already having an idea of what the problem was.

“Well..We’ve been looking for Daryl non-stop and we’ve had no luck so far. Not so much as even a clue. She’s worried, I don’t blame her..I am too.”

Remy stands, fixing her dark brown-striped leggings. It’s quiet, the only sounds are the leaves rustling, a squirrel scurrying home with dinner. It’s almost peaceful–if you forget the dead are roaming around. Unfortunately, the smell is too pungent to miss, their throaty growl, the agonizingly slow footsteps or the sound of their decaying body separating as they drag themselves against the ground. Remy knows the feeling, knows the sound, the smell–it’s like being watched..being hunted.

It isn’t hard finding the lone walker, Remy gets closer to “put it out of its misery” as she says. She knows that the dead aren’t people anymore but she still prefers to give them the respect they deserve– for them to finally rest in peace…sometimes pieces.

Carol notices her first, itching to get back on the road and continue their search for their beloved hunter. You all pile back into the car, preparing for the long journey ahead. You look back at Remington–your daughter–she’s grown so much, so fast.

“You okay Rem? No bites?”

“Yeah, No bites.”

Turrrr..turrrr..turrrrrr

“You hear that?’

“Yeah..There!”

Carol frantically points to where the familiar noise is coming from– a motorcycle– specifically Daryl’s motorcycle but…No Daryl.

“Mom, is that–”

“Yes it is, buckle up please.” Of course, Remy is already buckled.. She doesn’t feel safe riding in a vehicle without a seatbelt– especially with her mother driving. You whip the car around, now following behind the bike– matching its speed, determined to find out where this random man got Daryl’s bike from.

Carol rolls the window down, leaning out of it to aim her handgun at him. Only wanting to do enough damage to where he stops– and is still able to be questioned after the crash.

BANG! SCREEEEEK!

Fortunately, the man is almost perfectly intact..besides the bullet wound in his shoulder. Also– lucky for him– You’re able to bring the car to a halt just before running him over. Carol gets out of the car, slowly, the stranger obviously isn’t going anywhere. She walks to the trunk, and pulls out her Weatherby PA-08, already loaded.

Approaching the injured man, aiming her shotgun–

“Where’d you get the bike?” Her voice is flat, but confident.

“W-Wait! Don’t shoot..please..” The man’s voice was shaky and unclear, almost on the verge of tears as he held his wounded shoulder.

“Where did you get the bike?”

You’re still in the car, not bothering to get out, knowing Carol can handle this herself. That crash was loud enough to draw a good amount of walkers– you hope to get out of here before then. Remy’s in the backseat twirling the ends of her short braids, a nervous tic she’s had since she grew hair.

Carol checks the man for any weapons, she finds a small hunting knife and a handgun similar to her own. No bullets. You decide to get out of the car now, wondering what’s taking so damn long.

“He know anything?”

“Yeah a little..Let’s tie him up. Leave him in one of those trunks over there.”

Walking back towards the car, Carol picks up Daryl’s bike, turning it in the direction you all were heading in the first place and walks it to the driver window.

“Follow me, there’s a junkyard a couple miles from here. That’s where he said he got the bike.”

“Alright, right behind you.” Remy climbs in the front seat, her mood lightened, knowing that we are one more step closer to finding the man who raised her.

You stop the car a few miles from– what you assume– is the place you need to be. Carol pulls up beside you as you roll your window down.

“I’m gonna ride up on that hill right there– Take a look at the place. Stay here until I come back.”

Around 5 minutes go by, when you see Carol riding the old death machine back towards you. “So?”

“I only saw a few people, but there might be more inside. Let’s walk straight in there– show that we’re friendly.”

“Sounds like a plan.” You start the car up, putting on your best poker face. “I’ll let you do the talking, people seem to trust you more.” You say, teasing Carol at the fact she’s so good at manipulating people..a little more than she should be. She gets the job done so maybe you shouldn’t complain too much.

“Ha-Ha Fine. I’ll do all the work, again.”

“Oh–Whatever”

You both laugh, and start heading towards the Camp. Carol gets off the bike, while you and Remy get out of the car, staying a few steps behind Carol and ready to move if need be. Her hands are up, and her steps are slow– an “I’m Friendly, Don’t Shoot” gesture. Clearing her throat she starts–

“Ahem…Hello..” The 3 men startle, spinning around and stopping what they’re doing to find out where the new voice is coming from. You notice a familiar crossbow in the hands of an unfamiliar man. He sets the bow down on one of the cars hood and picks up a new tire– walking away from the weapon. It felt like seconds..Carol attacking them after the man walked away. Before you knew it Carol had Daryl’s crossbow back, one of his arrows in someone's foot, and new information.

You decided to leave your old car back there, running low on gas and starting to overheat. You’d gotten lucky to make it that far. Carol decided to take the Mercedes Benz SLS one of the guys had just finished working on, the same guy who had Daryl’s bow.

“Sucks, we had to leave his bike back there…” Remy murmured, her voice back to being soft and small, her lower lip slightly jutted out. She’s always had a problem with letting thing’s go– worthless or not, everything means something to her.

The Boatyard was a waste of time. A couple beached, useless, boats aren’t going to help you in your search for Daryl, especially in getting to Europe somehow. You can tell Carol is getting more and more frustrated by the minute. Everytime you think you’re finally getting somewhere– it’s another dead end.

Getting back on the road with no destination– again– had tensions rising.

Carol was quiet, Remy was jotting down everything we had learned in her old tattered notebook. She’d been writing more, sometimes drawing, You’ve gotten a few peeks here and there when she falls asleep re-reading everything.

“-ey..Helloo? Earth to Y/N.”

“Yeah? Sorry..lost in thought… Did you need something?” You noticed the pair of square sunglasses Carol found in the car, they look good on her.

“Just wanted to see if they had anything good in that glove box, the silence is making me itchy” Opening the glove box, you find a couple audio cassettes inside, different rock bands, pop, etc. You grabbed a random tape and handed it to Carol, still looking at all the other ones. Some lady with a high pitched voice starts singing. Obviously Carol is not into it and throws it out the window.

Another tape. An up-beat instrumental, again not a fan.

A third tape. You should’ve been carefully reading the names on the cassettes before giving them to her, but honestly, finding the right song wasn’t important right now. It’s a meditation audio, she hates it. Almost breaks the radio trying to get it out. With no luck, she decides to try and follow the instructions coming from the tape..taking a deep breath in..and then–screaming in frustration.

Kinda awkward but you understand, Remy decides to lay down in the back seat, trusting Carol enough to take her seatbelt off for the first time while the vehicle is still in motion. Carol hears a strange whirring noise, like a plane or a helicopter. She looks through the windshield up at the sky, searching for the object making that noise, not paying attention to the road. You look up right before it happens.

“Carol, Watch out!” SCREEEEEK!

She swerves off the road, after hitting the walker in your way– crashing into a tall Drive-IN sign.

“AHH! What the hell?!” Remy yelps in confusion, now squished in the floor behind the front seats. “Holy shit..Remy?! Are you okay?” You whip around to check your kid for any injuries– she’s fine– might be a bit sore later but thankfully nothing serious.

“Fuck..I’m sorry. Are you two okay?”

“Yeah, we’re good, are you?..”

“Carol, you’re bleeding.” You reach your hand up towards her forehead, there’s a 3-inch gash going from her hairline to right above her right eyebrow. It’s bleeding but not enough to be anything critical; you hope.

“I’ll be fine..Might have a major headache but I’m sure it’s nothing serious..” She takes another look in the sky searching for the plane again.

“What the hell happened? Why weren’t you watching the road?” You’re a little upset at the fact she put your kid in serious danger.

“I- I saw a plane or.. something above us. If we find it..” Carol looks at you as if she doesn’t need to explain anymore. She doesn’t, it’s like you two are connected telepathically, you get it. Remy’s up and in her seat looking at you two, a lost expression on her face.

“Y’know, It would be nice if you guys would finish your sentences once in a while, then maybe I’d be up to speed.” Carol gets out of the car to assess the damage done, while you turn to explain what you two were thinking.

“I think the radiator is fucked. We’re gonna be on foot from here.” You and Remy get out of the car, gathering all of your belongings.

“The plane went that way.” Carol points where she last saw the plane heading.

“Okay..Rem, you got your stuff?”

“Yeah..I’m ready.” She confirms after putting her bag strap over her head.

That noise is back..which means the plane is close. All three of you look up in hopes of seeing it. “There..that’s the direction we need to go.” Carol points at the plane again before it disappears behind the tall trees.

“Alright, we should hurry before it gets too dark. I don’t wanna be out here on unfamiliar grounds with the dead walking.”

You couldn’t make it before dark but it was better than nothing. After a few hours of walking, you three come across a tall metal fence– not knowing if it was electric you ask Remy to keep back a little. Carol moves forward to scope the place out, once she knows it’s relatively safe she gives you two the signal to follow her.

There’s a large trap on the right side of the metal gate, the gate looks stable..and powered, a good thing that whoever lives here has power, a bad thing at the thought of what they had to do to keep this place secure. Carol motions for you to get under the large trap, stepping over the previous attempting the same. Remy’s the smallest out of all of you; no one would expect her to be able to lift something that heavy.

“Okay, Rem get over here and pretend to get us out. Me and your Mom are gonna try and get this guy's attention.”

“Just follow what he says and we’ll be okay.” You reach your hand out through the gaps of the bars to caress her cheek.

“Yeah.. I got it.” She slightly smiles at you, reassuring you she’ll be fine.

“You ready?”

“Always.” You put your arm back into the bars and position it to look lodged under the rusted metal prongs, Carol does the same.

“HELP!..SOMEBODY HELP!” You two shout loud enough to attract the man.

He comes up from behind the cliff, pointing a light–and gun– at you three. “Quiet! You’re gonna draw them..” Carol explains what happened to our car, striking a deal with the man, spewing a bunch of bullshit like “Relying on the kindness of strangers”.

“Is it just you three?” Carol nods. “You swear?”

“Please..We won’t cause you any problems, I promise.” Remy being here made it a little easier for his guard to be let down; Him realizing she’s just a teenager.

“I’ll get you all fixed up..then you leave.” He opens the gate with some kind of remote. “One false move and I’ll shoot you.”

You and Remy are standing in the open barn waiting for Carol to finish cleaning up. Ash, the man who is helping you three, is standing right outside, gun in hand– waiting to shoot if need be. The power goes out unexpectedly, Carol stops what she’s doing and slowly looks over to Ash.

“What’s that?” He looks a little impatient and sighs. “Problems with my generator..happens from time to time.”

He walks away to go and fix the problem, trusting you three a tiny bit more, enough to leave you unguarded. Carol follows him out, still dabbing her forehead with the damp towel. Ash flips some switch on the generator and the power comes back on– a temporary fix.

“Have you ever hit a walker with your car?” Carol questions, trying to get him to open up a little. “No..” He gives a short response, obviously not wanting to engage in small talk with a stranger he just met, creeping around his walls.

“Hm.. You're lucky, I think I smashed the radiator” He shoulders his gun, not thinking of you all to be too big of a threat.

“You can spend the night here if you want..”

“Really?” Remy gives him a hopeful smile, excited to be sleeping within walls again.

“Yeah. C'mon you three can stay out here in the barn” He leads You, Carol, and Remy out to a quaint, small barn, a little ways from what you assume is his house. Remy walks in first checking the place out, she thinks it's kinda ugly, considering her face is slightly scrunched. You go to walk in after her but realize Carol isn’t following you two. It’s like she’s frozen in time, somewhat shaking, as she starts to tear up.

Ash walks towards her slowly, gently grabbing her arm before you can, snapping her out of whatever trance she was in.

“Hey..You okay?” She looks at you with a dazed expression, blinking away her tears and pulling herself together. “Fine...C’mon let’s get inside.” Ash shuts the barn door behind him, turning the main lights on. You see Remy standing in front of– what you assume– is the plane you all saw earlier. Carol walks up behind her, rubbing her shoulder.

“Alright, you can sleep in there” Ash states, turning on the lights of your room for the night.

“You fly that thing?” He looks at the plane, longingly, as if he misses it.

“The noise attracts the dead but it's worth it, just to get up above everything for a while everyday” Remy looks at him with a genuine smile on her face. “It’s pretty cool, I’ve always wanted to fly in a plane.” He gently smiles back at her.

“Alright.. There you go”. He gestures towards the room, clearly wanting to get this awkward moment over with. You, Carol, and Remy make your way into the small room, getting as comfortable as you can. There's a few heavy blankets in the room as well so, at least you’ll be warm for the night.

“Thank you..for everything.” You turn to give him a lighthearted smile, keeping up this facade. Ash shuts and locks the door behind him, finally you and Carol have a moment to come up with another plan. You need to get him on your side somehow, he knows how to operate a plane, he's useful.

Remy is already dead-asleep, she’s always been a heavy sleeper. Something that will get you killed if you’re not careful but she knows she’s safe, especially with you and Carol.

“So..What are you thinking?” You and Carol sit down on the floor next to Remy, speaking in your normal tones, knowing she wouldn’t wake up if a tornado came through.

“I’m not entirely sure..We need to find out more about him. Somehow we need to stay longer, do some digging.”

“Alright..we can think about it more tomorrow, I don’t know about you but those blankets look really good right now.” Carol smirks at you, but not without looking at the make-shift bed herself. It does look very comfy.

“Goodnight Y/N.” She moves to get under the blankets, and get in her signature sleep postion, you do the same.

“Night Carol..”

You can’t sleep, your mind is racing at the thought that Ash can help you find Daryl, and what you could do to get him on board with flying to Europe. You can’t stop thinking about all the negatives and everything that could go wrong while doing this, the plane won’t make it without a couple stops along the way–who knows what you’ll run into during them–, you could hit a bad storm and die in that death trap, you’d be putting your daughter at even more risk; flying into the unknown.

Is it worth it?.. Of course it is, it’s Daryl. You’ve made it this far you can’t give up now. You could never give up on Daryl, he’s done too much for you..for Remy. He’s family, you’d do anything for family–that’s what you thought when he first started going back outside the walls, looking for Rick after 10 years. Honestly It’d be a miracle if Rick was still alive but you didn’t have the heart to tell him that. Why would he not come back if he was still living, he knows where Alexandria is..Hilltop...

It feels like a long shot but if that’s what Daryl had to do to sleep at night, who were you to tell him no? You two made a deal, He would search for a little, but no more than a couple weeks at a time. That way he could still have a little peace in his life knowing that he’s trying but also spending time with his family, watching his kids grow.

The first fight you and Daryl had about the entire situation was stupid, the only reason it happened was because you were frustrated that you barely saw him anymore, that Remy barely saw him anymore. Daryl was frustrated because he felt like you didn’t want him looking anymore, that he should just give up, pretend like Rick never existed and move on with his life.

You made up barely an hour later, both realizing you shouldn’t be arguing at a time like this. Tensions were high and it was a spur-of-the-moment argument. Your brain is getting foggy now, thinking of memories with Daryl made your mind calm. You’re falling asleep, now less anxious than you were when you first laid down, eager to wake up tomorrow and continue your search.

Hope you enjoyed! Like I said I spent alot of time on this so super excited!! Chapter 2 coming soon!! 💚💚

(also if you would like to see Remy’s design I had in mind dm me!!!)

Translations:

"Je t'aime de tout mon cœur." -- I love you with all my heart.

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lazywitchling · 11 months ago

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The Three-but-actually-Six Card Spread

I vote that we call this one Schrodinger's Spread, because I don't know whether I'm gonna draw three or six until I've already pulled the cards.

So, I used to try to do the usual three card spread. You know the one. Every tarot book lists it as Past Present Future, unless you have a quirky deck, and then they've probably rebranded it as something else. You can find lists of three card spreads with different questions to ask. IT'S A WHOLE THING. There's like. a whole three-card-spread industry or something. But anyway: it always confused me.

I am absolutely not a tarot expert. I put down three cards, and then I can stare at it for an hour going "I have no idea what this means." The standard guidebook keywords float through my head, but I wasn't sure how to make an actual READ out of that.

I started following @unhelpfultarot, who is anything but unhelpful. Seeing the daily two card pull and the way that the two cards are connected into (usually) a single sentence made the lightbulb come on. "Oh THAT'S how you do it!" So I started just reading two cards at a time, but as a single unit, like Lenormand. And once I got a handle on that, I started adding the third card back in. Then I'd have two pairs of cards to read! 1>2 and 2>3.

Well, at some point, I was like "Hey what happens if I put a card down below those three, and used that as a sort of connection-between-them card?"

So now it looks like this:

1 2 3 4 5

Where "4" is not its own answer, it's just what connects 1 and 2. The same thing for 5: it just connects 2 and 3 without being its own answer.

WELL, then I'm looking at that, and I said "Hey, now I've generated another pair, so I can lay down ANOTHER card to connect those two!

1 2 3 4 5 6

"Hey, Jes? That's... that's a six card spread..."

Shhhhhhhhh. Who asked you.

"Crow did."

Hush, imaginary reader.

Anyway, so now what I've got is the original read, the three most important cards, 1 2 3. And btw, this whole thing is usually to answer ONE SINGLE QUESTION, because-- actually, @windvexer explains it better than I can here. (HEY. YOU. DON'T SKIP THAT LINK, ACTUALLY CLICK IT, THANK YOU.)

So what I have now is one question that is answered by a sentence (1-2-3), with two cards that don't tell me NEW information but that tell me what each pair is saying to each other (4 and 5), with a final one that's sort of a TL;DR card (6).

"Jes. That is a six card spread."

CORRECT, and as @upthewitchypunx and others have said, if I were charging money for this, yes absolutely this is a six card spread, and you're not getting it for 50% off.

BUT HERE'S HOW THE WHOLE THING HAPPENS IN A REAL WORLD SCENARIO

I pick up my tarot deck. I think "I'm going to do a three card reading." I pull three cards, lay them down, read. If they make sense, cool, I put them away and move on.

If I get confused though, then it's upside-down pyramid time, and I'll lay down the other three. This either results in "Ohhhhhh okay, THAT'S what it's saying," or I confuse myself EVEN more (which is very easy to do).

In that case, it's still living in my head as a three-card-spread, because that's the important part that I'm actually reading. But if I set out to pull the inverted pyramid from the get-go, then it's a six-card-spread.

This is where I'm legally obliged to put PREMEDITATED in all caps for @friend-crow

My joking answer, which wasn't FULLY a joke, is that nothing I do is premeditated. I don't MEAN for there to be six cards, but here they are now, and I've got more important questions than "is this still a three-card-spread or is it now a six-card-spread?"

At that point it's like the tarot equivalent of "Is a hot dog a sandwich" and would just trip me up when I'm just trying to eat a hot dog. The answer is "WHO CARES! I got things to do."

(@asksecularwitch 'cause you also had thinky thoughts about all this, and I wanted you to see the upside down pyramid!)

#schrodinger's tarot spread

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henghost · 6 months ago

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Twig Liveblog for Arc 18

what a banger arc let's fucking gooo. so many good infante sections, which is the most important part of any arc. just waltzing around in the plague. he's so cool. it's hard for me to really see him as the "antagonist" because i am always 100% behind him and whatever he wants to do. when he shoved a parasite down lillian's throat i was like, i wish that were me so bad. moans loudly.

good to get some yuri in there too. ugh i love mary/lillian together. i think, through biopunk technology, they need to figure out how to get each other pregnant. the same applies for sy and jessie. this would symbolize the completion of their respective character arcs.

i think my favorite part, though, was the fairy tale experiments. man it really puts so much in perspective. it recalled the sequence in gravity's rainbow wherein captain blicero holds katje and gottfried captive and forces them to act out an obscene sadomasochistic version of hansel and gretel. or the correspondence between the powerful financial executive jes staley and one jeffrey epstein:

there are the omelas ethics of it, of course. the little speech from ferres defending it on the basis of receiving funding in exchange, for instance, was chillingly familiar. but there is also some insight about the function of a ruling class. you will be violently mutilated into the shape of some simplistic archetype so as to become a point of data to research, so as to become a toy for despots. one of the most heartrending moments is when bo peep refuses to undergo surgery to fix the mutilations made by the academy, as though to live with the identity assigned to you by your overlords is simpler, easier, than to deal with the chaos of non-identity. the big bad wolf script--in this case pheromone-scented keywords with the purpose of total control--is some of the best prose wildbow has written imo.

i think betty is (yet another) lillian surrogate. there is something so banal in her cruelty. one of the things i've really admired about twig is how the "coming-of-age" is also a kind of political journey. the revelation that it is not the nobility who is really in power but instead the academy mirrors the movement of the young political person discovering that, despite appearances, it is really the morbidly boring death-cult of liberal technocracy behind all the solipsism and agony. ferres deserved worse lol.

i also enjoyed sy's patrick bateman-style switch to third-person. again, i'm really impressed by the effectiveness of this "fracture." there are some truly haunting scenes, scary nameless children running underfoot--it really got to me in a way that some of wildbow's other "horror imagery" simply doesn't. there's so much to say about the splitting of his SYche... perhaps i'll reserve my thoughts for a longer dedicated post about it...

twig is so good!! it continues to be mature, affecting, ambiguous, insightful. even... experimental. hahahaha. wildbow can write well sometimes wtf??? i don't believe it, frankly.

#twigblr #twig liveblog #henghost's twig arc #sylvester lambsbridge #yes my lord infante

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bobbinrobins · 4 months ago

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hi ! First of all I love your bird's nest fic, we really need more borrower x Batman crossover fics 💖💖💖. Second, unrelared to the fic what do you think would happen if during Jason's attack on Titan Tower Tim shrunk down cause he forgot to take the medicine to stay human size or do to an accident. Jason finds him and he fits into his palm, what do you think je would do ?

Thank you very much! <3 I'm really glad people are enjoying this extremely self-indulgent AU (and I am here for the borrower + Batman agenda)!

So this is an interesting scenario that I have a lot of thoughts on. I'm rolling with the idea that Tim is a borrower who, through some kind of tech, is able to appear human-sized, and Jason managed to disable technology due to some kind of comic books magic/sci-fi logic. (This snowballed quite a bit than I intended so I'm putting it under a "read more" lol. Also warning for sappiness because I'm incapable of writing any kind of angst or hurt without a heaping pile of fluff to finish it off.)

Assuming that Jason had no idea about Tim's identity, I think, first and foremost, he'd be extremely befuddled? Logic might dictate that he's using size-changing technology to become small and escape, but that can't be the case, because Jason just disabled all of the technology around them, as evidenced by the lights having gone dark around them. So that could only mean that the opposite is true: Tim was using tech to be bigger than he actually is, which means he's naturally as small as he is now, and Jason just...struggles to wrap his mind around that for a moment.

And then, I think something clicks - maybe Jason found out about borrowers at some point, or maybe his mom told him stories of tiny people who live in the walls and floorboards and survive by "borrowing" scraps from humans. Maybe he used to leave out bits and pieces overnight, taken from his own plate, and wake up to see them gone. And I think it that moment, the full weight of what he's doing really clicks.

Because when Jason set out to the Tower, he knew, to some extent, he was going to be hurting a teenager. But to him, it was also the best way to get through Bruce's thick skull that he's back, that he's angry he wasn't memorialized like the other fallen Titans, that Bruce put another kid in that costume despite the fact that the last one died alone and unavenged. There's a whole host of reasons Jason decides to do what he does.

But I think, seeing Tim now much more defenseless than before, the full weight of his actions catches up with him. He can't bring himself to go forwards with this anymore - he's still angry, possibly even more so now at Bruce for putting someone with such a glaring vulnerability into danger every night, but no matter how much he tries to warp his anger-fueled logic he can't find it in him to hurt him.

So, instead, he decides to abandon ship and get out of there as fast as he can. He's not really ready to have a heart-to-heart with Tim, especially not when up until a few minutes ago he'd been planning on fighting him.

Tim, however, does not like that. Red Hood's appearance raised more questions than it answered (we'll also say this happened before Jason did his dramatic reveal, so Tim still has no idea who he is). He's somewhat encouraged by the fact that he apparently gave up un beating Tim up, so he makes the very unwise snap decision to stow with Hood, somehow (for the sake of things, maybe he brought an easily-accessible bag with him lol), without Hood knowing.

So Red Hood returns to a safehouse to regroup and switch gears. He takes off his helmet and peels off his domino and then hears a very tiny gasp and sees a very tiny figure crawling out of his bag. He's frustrated, at first, but Tim ropes Jason into a conversation, and Jason reluctantly allows this. He's got some questions for Tim, too, after all, and Tim answers honestly. When he hears about how Batman had been acting after Tim's death, and how Tim had really never intended to replace him, Jason finds himself beginning to understand, just a little bit more. He's still upset and angry, about a lot of things, but he's finding it harder and harder to be angry at Tim.

Tim encourages Jason to go home, but Jason staunchly refuses. He's not ready for that yet. Tim points out that he at least needs to take Tim back to the Manor for the night because that's where he lives and he's kind of stranded in Jason's safehouse now. Jason counters by letting Tim use one of his burners to call the Manor and get someone to pick him up, which would give Jason ample time to get out of there. Tim reluctantly agrees.

So Jason makes to leave, after having Tim call Alfred, but he can't find it in himself to really leave, so he lurks as discreetly as he can across the street, just so he can confirm that Tim gets picked up safely. And he does - Alfred pulls up, Jason feels an immense wave of Emotions seeing him, but stubbornly remains in hiding until Alfred pulls away.

So that should be the end of things, except it's not. Tim goes home and blabs to the entire Batfamily that Jason is alive and the Red Hood and that he'd actually been pretty nice to Tim, all things considered. And Bruce, Alfred, Babs, and Dick, encouraged by Tim, decide that they absolutely will not rest until they reconcile with Jason.

Jason should've known that Tim finding out his identity would have led to being stalked relentlessly by several vigilantes and a butler, but it doesn't make it any less annoying. (But he finds that he's minding it less and less when Nightwing swoops in to incapacitate the goon who had been about to get a lucky shot on him, when a plate of homemade cookies is left at the doorstep of one of his favorite safehouses, when Oracle manages to weasel her way onto his private comm line to tell him a dumb joke, when he catches a glimpse of a hulking shadow watching him as he's patching himself up after a long night, when Robin - now back at human-size - drops by to crash in one of his safehouses after a grueling patrol. And little by little, he makes his way home.)

#ask #jason todd #tim drake #there needs to be a borrower batfamily tag...#borrower batfam #i will be using this one for now #thank you for the ask!! :)

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copperbadge · 2 years ago

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I started Shivadh!verse this morning, and I am . . . almost a third of the way through Infinite Jes. I have also recommended it to at least three people. It's so fun!!! It's been a while since I enjoyed getting to know new characters this much.

Also, for some reason I got it in my head that one of the books was called "Romancing the Rambler" (I think I was mixing Royals/Ramblers with the general Romance genre?), but when I realized it *wasn't* I thought of how hilarious it would be if someone in-universe wrote a thinly veiled pastiche of Greg and Eddie's romance with that title - maybe a king falls in love with and woos the traveling bard known as "The Rambler" who's come to perform at some sort of royal celebration? I feel like Eddie would love it and read the spiciest passages out loud to a very embarrassed Greg.

I'm so glad you're enjoying it! I had to re-read a bit of Infinite Jes yesterday to check something for Twelve Points, and gosh I loved writing that story, and it's egotistical but I love re-reading it. I don't think that the Questions Game scene is the best prose I've ever written but it might be one of my favorite scenes ever.

At some point I do want to write a story -- either short or novel, haven't decided -- where either someone does write the thinly-veiled romance novel about the royals, or a film crew comes to Fons-Askaz to film a movie (something Gregory's been trying to woo a bit) and it turns out it's a Hallmark film based on Eddie and Gregory's unlikely romance. It's too recursive to do now, but most serieses that run for a long time eventually get rather weird, and I'm figuring around book 15 or 20 I'll hit the Weird Era and write the Hallmark Movie book.

I am admittedly feeling slightly scattered about the novels just now, mainly because everything's moving forward but all of it very slowly -- I'm in rewrites on Twelve Points, but I need to set a date to publish, and I'm working on Royals/Ramblers but I'm stuck a bit and feeling like I need to put Twelve Points to bed before I can keep going. And Simon the Chef's novel is going to take some extra brainpower to do the interesting experimental structure I want to try, so I need to get AT LEAST two of the four books I'm working on (Twelve Points, Royals/Ramblers, Chef Simon, Football Novel) off my plate first. Having four novels in various stages of completion is like, the best kind of problem to have, but it is still a problem. And I can't bump the football novel up ahead of it because Simon's book is set in the summer of 2023 and the football novel doesn't start until autumn 2023.

Also I still need to pin down Simon's love interest beyond "salty-ass chef who just moved to Fons-Askaz". If anyone has strong opinions now's the time to air them. The idea is that whoever they are, they manage to put Simon a little back-footed to start with, and then they're forced to work together -- it's a bit enemies-to-lovers but just light on the "enemies".

#shivadhverse #fatfemme-inist

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cinemaglow · 2 months ago

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Thoughts on Nightwish’s new album Yesterwynde, after listening to it about three times. I like this album a lot more than their last album Human::Nature. One of the chief problems I had with H::N was that they underutilized Emppu Vuorinen, one of the best metal guitarists in the scene, both by hiding him in the mix and just not giving him any opportunities to shine. Yesterwynde fixes that problem for the most part, although there are some points where the mix is…bad. I didn’t have super high hopes for this album since I wasn’t too impressed by the singles, but it turns out the singles were just the weakest songs on the album. When it’s meh it’s just meh and when it’s good it’s REALLY GOOD. This is the first album without Marko Hietala, and while his absence is inevitably conspicuous there are times when they successfully play to the strengths of the remaining band members to compensate. Jukka Koskinen from Wintersun does a great job on bass with some unique little flourishes. The subject matter is much the same as the last two albums but there are some musical elements that are reminiscent of much earlier albums, which should be a pleasant surprise for fans of older Nightwish. There are also some very new sounds; in particular some very electronic-sounding synths woven through the album. These might be controversial but personally I think they work really well.

I think I will probably buy this album on CD. Even the songs I didn’t like as much may grow on me with repeated listening. High points: Something Whispered Follow Me, Spider Silk. Low Points: The Day Of, Perfume of the Timeless.

Track by Track

Yesterwynde

A very promising start. I really like the choir sound at the beginning here. Unfortunately most of the rest of the album will feature a more Imaginaerum-esque choir sound, which, while I think it was perfect for that album, can get a bit stale on this one.

An Ocean Of Strange Islands

The beginning especially is trying SO hard to be Storytime but it comes out muddled, with just too much going on. There are no sounds that ever soar above the rest. There’s a gorgeous guitar solo that you can barely hear over everything else (war flashbacks to Human::Nature). I think the lyrics would be painting a compelling picture if I could follow them better. I think I would really like this one if it just had better mixing. I wonder if the fact that they don’t have Pip Williams doing their orchestral arrangement has anything to do with it.

The Antikythera Mechanism

I don’t have a lot to say about this one. Still suffering from some muddy mixing at some points. I think fans of Endless Forms Most Beautiful will really like this one. I dig the little industrial section in the middle a lot. This might be a song that sounds better live than on the album.

The Day Of...

I’m not a fan of the “Tuomas gives Floor a whole bunch of words to sing to a repetitive melody” approach, personally. I will say something nice: I am pleasantly surprised by the electronic background on the verses.

Perfume Of The Timeless

Needs Jukka Nevalainen. Maybe I’m the only one that can hear a difference, but Kai Hahto, while technically proficient, lacks a tonal je ne sais quoi that Jukka had. Again, I’m not a fan of the repetitive, staccato melody. The constant “hah hah hah” choir sounds like one of the sounds my old 90s Yamaha keyboard could make, and it gets a little old. Overall sounds like something off of EFMB.

Sway

Emppu Vuorinen gets to show off his gorgeous, extremely underrated acoustic guitar work here. Acoustic Nightwish album/tour when? Reminds me of the original demos for Angels Fall First. Floor and Troy sound great together. This is the point in the album where the orchestration and choir start actually sounding good; they come in gradually and the way they build is stunning. At the end we have several melodic lines going but you can easily pick each of them out of the mix. They should have edited Islands and Perfume down a bit and made this one a bit longer.

The Children Of 'Ata

If Tuomas doesn’t get to do an orientalism at least once per album he will die apparently. The drum machine reminds me of Erasure and I’m not mad about it. Floor’s performance is great. The choral arrangements remind me of Once. There are also bits that make me think of Oceanborn. There’s a great little harp section.

Something Whispered Follow Me

This is the Nightwish I love. They bring Emppu out right from the beginning, unlike in H::N where he was hopelessly buried in the mix for the whole album. Arrangement/mixing is lush but still clean, with the orchestration enhancing rather than distracting from the sound of the band. Structurally it balances tension and quieter moments beautifully. I love the swoopy little synth lick in the middle. The only thing that makes me sad is that the backing vocals have a gaping Marko Hietala-shaped hole in them.

Spider Silk

Again, a high point for me. It starts with Tuomas’ signature piano at the beginning, but with some dark, modal touches. Emppu gets to do some bluesy, almost Floydian guitar licks. I love it. The mixing allows the orchestra to work together with the heavy guitar and rhythm section rather than drowning them out. Floor is a powerhouse. I feel like it’s a little mean that every time Troy Donockley starts singing I’m like “we have Marko Hietala at home” but this song would be so good with Marko.

Hiraeth

Finally a song where the male vocal parts actually sound like they were written for Troy and not Marko. I love how it goes back and forth between major and minor. The buildup is gorgeous. I do wish we could hear it with Jukka Nevalainen on drums. I love the little touches of synth.

The Weave

More synth—a newish sound for the band, but one that works really well. Besides that this is a very classic Nightwish sound. The Imaginaerum-style choral sound actually works really well here. Musical callbacks to Grieg’s Hall of the Mountain King, which is a lot of fun. Relentless guitar and drums, some good horn parts in the orchestra. Floor showcases the full range of her abilities and literally ends the song on a very strong note.

Lanternlight

I have literally nothing bad to say about this one. I was surprised by how much Tuomas’ piano playing has improved technically. Not that there was anything wrong with it before but his touch and phrasing are on another level here. Troy’s vocals are utilized very well rather than sounding like discount Marko. Goosebumps all the way. This is a great closer that immediately makes me want to start the album over again.

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crestwood-survivor · 2 months ago

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Chateau d'Onterre: DAI's Haunted Mansion Pt. 2

Part 1 ended with the introduction of the magical elven box we can find in the Chateau:

We actually see many of these throughout the game, as chests that we can loot. This is the only one that’s sparking and spinning in the middle of the air. Considering where the Chateau is located, it’s possible that this box was found in the Emerald Graves.

The box has “attracted power before.” So were they hoping to somehow remove the child’s magical powers and contain it in the box? What power did it attract before?

Moving on to the bedchambers, we find a note written by a guest at the chateau:

“A hastily written note left on a guest room table:

Ma chere Colette,

I am very sorry, but we must depart sooner than anticipated. Night terrors seized my husband; he will not remain a moment longer. Honestly, I don’t know what he’s thinking, rushing us out of here so rudely.

I hope you will forgive me for not conveying my regrets in person, but due to the late hour we decided not to be a bother. I’m sure you understand.

Je T’Embrasse,

Guests are having night terrors. We know that demons can interact with people through dreams, so that is likely the source of the nightmares.

If we continue to explore the bedchambers, we find the second torn diary page:

“I showed them. We had such fun, we did! Dancing and partying until everyone fell down; it was glorious! The best party ever! Father and mother went to their room when we were done. Mother was crying, she was so happy. I held out the present. It made me better, just like they said.

I have not left the house. I’m still scared of what’s on the other side of the door. But… maybe I’ll go out tomorrow.”

Did anyone else get flashbacks to possessed Connor making Bann Teagan dance in Origins? That the child describes the guests as dancing and partying until they all fell down makes me think that this is a similar case of demonic possession. Based on notes we find later, I don’t think the child is possessed yet, but the demon is very close to possessing them.

Picking up a note in the formal gardens gives us the first set of instructions to find the key to the balcony with the elven box. After picking up the note, an ominous sound is heard and corpses start appearing throughout the chateau that we have to fight.

Multiple notes lead us around the Chateau, finding clues to the key. Returning to the ballroom, we find the final Torn Diary Page:

“I had to make myself breakfast this morning. It wasn’t very good. When I saw Mother and Father, I couldn’t stop crying. I don’t know what to do.

My friend says there’s a way to be less lonely. She says not to be afraid. There are other games we can try and I will feel better.”

At this point, it seems like everyone else in the Chateau is either dead or fled after the party. It’s possible that those who died are now the reanimated corpses we have to fight in the Chateau. Finally, the demon is trying to possess the child by preying on their loneliness.

On the second floor of the ballroom, we find the key to the balcony and a note titled “A Reminder”:

“A shakily written note:

There is no one left to remind me. I can’t trust the thoughts in my head. Some of them are hers. But these are mine:

Key to balcony. Do not use.

It won’t make you better.

They lied.

She lied.”

It seems that the demon has finally possessed the child. The demon is trying to get the child to interact with/open the box again. The child is now aware of its true purpose and has locked it away on the balcony and hid the balcony key.

Of course, we’re going to ignore all the warnings and go onto the balcony.

We can enter another room from the balcony that appears to be Lord d’Onterre’s office. You have to either pick the lock with a rogue or interact with the box which will unlock the office. I had Cole with me, so I checked the office before interacting with the box. In the office we can find Lord d’Onterre’s journal:

“The journal entry is dated 9:27 Dragon:

That circle templar is demanding another payment. Greedy bastard. Taking advantage of us all these years, because we wanted to preserve our good family name. He promised to silence the mage once returned to his circle… but that doesn’t protect us from the templar.

I wonder, though. Was it enough? No. The mage was strong. Even I could sense it. It was terrifying. There is no way the child could break through. She doesn’t even have training. So long as she stays inside, everything will be alright.

No one will ever know.”

This man has been bribing a templar not to protect his child from the abusive circles - but to preserve his “good family name.” Absolutely despicable. Another mage was brought to the Chateau from the circle to try to suppress the child’s powers, probably using the box in some sort of ritual. Obviously whatever the mage tried to do failed.

Now that we’ve looked at every note in the Chateau, let's check out this box.

After we interact with the box, an arcane horror will emerge out of the fountain in the courtyard below. After we defeat it, Cole and Solas will make some comments:

Cole: “Only the anger was left. We made it stop.”

Solas: “Was it suffering that drew the spirit here, or cruelty? At least it is over.”

Some things to note about arcane horrors: Arcane horrors are pride demons that have possessed the corpse of a mage.

Now that we’ve gone through the Chateau and read all of the notes, let's try to piece together what happened here.

The d’Onterre’s had a child, who ended up being a mage. Trying to avoid the shame of having a mage in the family, they tried a series of barbaric methods to suppress the child’s magic. It didn't work, and they resorted to having a circle mage perform some sort of ritual involving an elven box to contain the child’s power. The ritual also didn't work, and a demon attracted to the abuse the child is experiended began preying on the child. The child’s magic is revealed at a party, and something terrible happens (involving the demon and the child’s magic) and everyone in the Chateau either died or fled. The child was left all alone, and the demon convinced the child to allow it to possess them. After being possessed, the demon tried to get the child to do something with the box. The child understood the true purpose of the box and locked it on the balcony in fear.

So what does the box actually do? We know that it is elven, and that it has “attracted power before.” I believe that the demon that possessed the child was somehow attached to the box. That is why it tried to get the child to do something with the box, and that is why the arcane horror appears after we interact with the box. When the d’Onterres tried to use the box to contain the child’s powers, they actually ended up partially releasing the demon.

I say partially release because the demon keeps trying to get the kid to do something with the box. It needs the kid to fully let it free, and that could explain why the box is sparking and spinning around. It could be the demon trying to free itself.

Remember how I said that arcane horrors are pride demons that possess the corpses of mages? I think the corpse it possessed is the child’s. It is unclear how old the child was, the way they wrote makes me think they were pretty young. It’s possible they could have killed themselves to escape the demon, or they could have starved to death (all of the adults are gone) or died some other way.

Without the child to possess, the demon is now stuck in the box until we show up and set it free. I don’t know why it couldn’t possess the child’s corpse until we set it free, maybe it wasn’t able to possess anything other than a living, willing mage since it was still attached to the box.

That’s all I have to say. What happened at the Chateau is a real tragedy, and a great quest. Would love to hear anyone else's thoughts on it.

#dai #dragon age inquisition #dragon age #ancient elves #dragon age elves #dragon age templars #chantry #elves #da: inquisition #inquisition #mages

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junelover505 · 3 months ago

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I have stitches in my mouth; I yearn to be heard

TRIGGER WARNING!!

existential dread, but it's not too bad! This is part of a series that's for mature audiences however, and the chapters will progressively get darker and darker.

So as always: Minors DNI!! And read with caution!!

A little something to set the mood :)

Between blacking out and coming to; transportation:

Juniper bears an indiscernable hollowness in her heart. The lonely soul found itself in emptiness as terrifying as it was familiar.

Is the void a mirror or a window?

What constitutes your existence?

Is it just your belief? Your perception of your own self? The very act of thought?

Cogito ergo sum.

Juniper always believed that when a tree falls down and no one is around to hear it's echo, then it is mute.

Why think when you can be seen.

Juniper is always seen.

Where is June?

CHAPTER 1: Cogitare; cogitare; the only thing you can do as it begins.

"Je pense ,donc je suis."

"I am thinking, therefore i am."

June always thought it was just: "i think, therefore i am."

The memory was something she recalled from when the teacher brought up some other philosopher's interpretation of the sentence, and upon discussing the belief of a mistranslation, everyone turned to the only student fluent in french for confirmation.

It very well could have been; as the french present tense is rather vague ,and capable of being used in the absolute; whereas the English simple present is much more restricted, and not necessarily indicative of an active continuous action.

That class started with the teacher's attempt to establish a scenario of consistent doubting of all that you know.

--Passed down information, folklore stories, word of mouth anything without tangible scientific proof.--

Discarding all that had a chance of doubt, until all that you had left was certainty.

--Anything that you simply couldn't prove yourself, all that you can't see or experience through your own perception.--

As long as it had even the most minute chance of being false; it is then factually not real, or wrong ;so that what is left is what we can know beyond the shadow of a doubt.A

And as all can be cause for doubt, it also includes your very own senses and your very self.

June moved on to daydreaming by that point of the class, because how can you have doubt in so much? What would even be left for you to doubt? you'll have nothing. might as well be nothing, as nothing will be left.

How can you even doubt all your senses simultaneously for that long, all that you've known and what's been ingrained in you. Something so fundamental is literally 70% of what built you, your perception, and how you process the world that you just simply decided was not real.

You cannot look at fire, put your hand in and feel the burning in your palm, then deny the fact that it simply is a flame before you ,crying deception while blisters form at your skin.

Well ,the strawberry Blonde understood such train of thought when she saw a moving tree that turned out to be a man from the woods, outside a rundown motel window.

She doubted her sense of sight ,when she saw the 'man' turn out to be a live mannequin as tall as if not taller then the highest branches, in a black suit and bright red tie.

She doubted her sense of smell ,when the scent of copper mingled in with that of pine trees after running to look for it.

She doubted her sense of touch, when she stepped on a dying, beaten body in the woods.

She doubted her very judgement when she didn't try fighting harder when the killer grabbed at her like she was some type of stress plush and he was but a scared child.

Now, at this moment where time seemed to stand still and she lost all reference that she's long relied on; she doubted her very existence after blacking out without a second's notice; upon standing before that creature, the moment that blood covered man had let go of her and she failed to run away in time; leading June to find herself in endless darkness for a reason that she has yet to come to understand.

Empty black; an all consuming nothingness. A void. An abyss.

Did she die? Maybe a heart attack.

no.

Those hurt, her diet is good, she had no genetic heart issues from either side of her family.

Did she pass out?

Shouldn't she then be unconscious? Unaware of even where she was and safe from knowing that such a void existed.

What was she supposed to do if she suddenly stopped existing? Was this it?

Without her sense of perception; without that man covered in blood and soot, what other proof did she have of still being alive; of being real?

He was least lucky enough to ask her to confirm they saw the same thing when they faced the tall mannequin; she had no one to tell her if she herself could be seen.

She was alone; without the perception of herself or that of others to rely on.

Can she truly remain when she had no way of grounding herself with her self despite having no body an no way to impact what is around her corporally?

If there wasn't a world for her to interact with any longer, and be perceived in ;then she could only conclude that she was simply taken away from reality itself; akin to a grey hair plucked out from a scalp filled in black.

That is how she felt at least. One moment, she was awake and afraid, doubting all her senses and all that she'd known, facing a one in a million scenario that seemed to have come straight out of a block buster shelf, and like a snap everything went to an all consuming black.

She was no longer real. She could not have been.

She had just ceased to exist, she is now nothing. As nothing is all that is left and the only thing she could conceive.

So she was simply nothing? That's all it could be.

A conscious concept doomed to roam about in a forever nothingness with no one but the empty shell she's never bothered to know until now. Except there was no shell of flesh; just a dull obsidian.

Wasn't that who she was before?

An empty nothing, the lack of a person.

Was that all she'd ever been? How shed been seen? Just the silhouette of a a void, a nothingness cut out from the fabric of reality and ever moving in stopmotion-like gestures ;only craving to prove she was made of tangible matter upon her interactions with all that is in smooth sultry gestures; but pathetically failing each attempt and creating a show of pitiful submission to whatever creator willfully made her believe she was made in the image of meat to be ferociously consumed?

Desperate and hungry in her own right, but never allowed satiation.

She could not feel the air entering her lungs no matter how hard she tried to breathe.

Once.

Twice.

Thrice.

Over and over, she tried to take in a desperate breath but felt nothing fill the area she assumed her lungs should have been in.

Where were her organs supposed to be in? The rest of her.

There was no way to tell up from down ,the left from right ,the north from east, the front from the back.

Her lungs, her shoulders her feet her stomach, the ever growing source of her aching.

There was no use in trying to hug herself as she felt nothing.

She saw nothing and felt nothing, knew nothing and so she might as well be nothing.

She'd been stuck like this for so long.o

How long?

She never will she know a reality beyond this one, where a lack of existence will forever be her mirror as a nothing; a less then nought.

She was doomed. How much time had passed? It felt like hours ,days, ages without any stimuli other then her own physically unfelt terror and an all consuming famishment for a corplorality she'd lost, bordering onto manic obsession.

Ages of trying to create sound through cries and screams without a voice box to speak of, no throat to go sore ,and no ears to deafen let alone hear.

All encompassing carnal anguish and restless terror of a nothing, a horror that is not to be anatomically felt.

She had no heart, to feel its breakneck unrhythmic thundering in her ribcage, creating rapid thought clouding pulsations in her ear; no blood to feel its rapid pumping through her system; no vision to cloud over and blur and tunnel into everything and nothing at once.

She had no mind left to loose, but endless time to mourn the flesh she's once took for granted and had the audacity to despise in the past, thinking of it as a curse that will ruin her until she would have no consciousness left to realize it was gone ,when she's 6 feet under.

This was hell itself.

Her hell was her very own all consuming emptiness she'd long felt within personified. Her filthy all blackened soul laid bare before her and she had eternity to make peace with such a fate.

Eternity; days ,weeks ,months. Time was not real and she had no way to count it, but her thoughts were so disgustingly clouded as she ruminated on her lack of existing.

Her new normal.

So much began to blur and mush together before separating back with only the sheer desperate carnal thirst her mind had for stimulation that made her take the time to rearrange her dusted memory closet.

And over whatever chunk of uncountable time had passed ,as her very mind felt like it was dissipating and fizzling out; she realized that her new curse of lucidity was the only thing she had left in this dark abyss, was slowly giving out on her as well.

She did have a mind, awareness, at least she had thought. And that might be all she would ever have.

What if that could just as easily be lost as her body and all else?

Wouldn't having a mind mean she was at least something within it's own right? She must at least exist in some form as her consciousness was concrete.

The very fact that she thought she simply ceased to exist was proof she did . And that despite feeling like time no longer existed beyond her vaguely guessed perceptions of its passing, it still technically should have still been passing.

You cannot doubt the active moving concept that you are as you'd need to exist to deny it.

Therefore she herself as an active, conscious concept , is simply incapable of denying her own existence, as the ladder act was paradoxically the antonym of the concept she was denying.

Therefore ,she had to be real, this new normal still had something of her old normal within it, there might be more to dig out.

Maybe her consciousness ,and therefore existence was just temporary?

After all, you'd never know if you are simply dreaming, you just wake up.

So maybe there was a way out of this nightmare that was beyond accommodating to it, or trying to look for traces of her body through recreating the basic functions with no flesh to function ,or raking through her blurred and unreliable memories for concrete examples of her existence ?

It would explain the eternal aspect of her reality and the rapid fizzling of the small traces left of her that were not linked to her corporal

She didn't know how long shed been stuck in this abstract state but it was far longer then she could bother keeping track of all at once ,despite her mind's hunger for entertainment that was not its own self.

She was still real; right? She wasn't completely faded yet as she could still think.

She had just concluded that she was.

But maybe she remembered wrong.

This state felt timeless, but the proof of her existence was not a timeless final fact.

It's only a certainty if she was actively thinking of it, reflecting upon it; doubting it; desperately holding onto her fastly fleeting identity as it slipped like sand through her fingers.

God what she couldn't give to feel sand in her fingers ,under the nail bed that she would later scrub off with cooling water and lathered soap.

The more she tried to guesstimate her time spent in the abstract ; the worse it got, in the form of an ever heavy sense of despair, pushing her to stop halfway through trying to count passing mississippies before starting over again in some type of sick self inflicted torture.

It's s not like she had anything left but her consciousness in this dark and unfeeling , all encompassing void.

She just had to make sure she was real; that she wasn't fading. Focus on your existence, that you are in fact real.

It's the only thing she's yet to try, and she could at least feel it was slowing down the dissipation of the fastly fleeting "I" that she was.

She had to stick to the basics and keep her mind in one easy and discernable track.

"cogito ergo sum"

She was real. Real and not a nothing.

She was June.

"i think , there for i am"

She was june. And she was real. Even if she was stuck here for centuries more. At least she was real. She was;

And she will keep telling herself and make sure it remained as such.

"I am thinking, therefore I am"

She was Juniper Eve Laine. And she was real. She still existed. She was actively existing. And by whatever cruel god that created her, she will keep existing if she has a hand in it.

"I am."

"I. AM."

But did certainty equate the truth?

If she was so sure she existed, did that make it fact?

A gasp finally filled her lungs.

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