#i am just so full of love rn
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Happy new years!! I kinda wanted to make a post like this yesterday but was too tired oops .. I just wanted to thank you guys for a lot of things really,
First you guys encourage me to draw a lot more! Before i got tumblr i was starting to fall out of art due to lack of motivation but you guys made it fun for me again! Im rlly thankful for that <3
You also give me something to look forward to each day! I have someone to talk to now abt my interests and just stuff goinf on w me in general.
I also felt like i've gotten a bit more confident in myself and my art bc of you guys!! Ur all so sweet and give me so much motivation and encouragement and i absolutely couldn't thank u enough :)
I have a lot more to thank you for and i really cant put it into words how important you guys've become to me. ur all really REALLY dear friends to me at this point and i hope it stays that way throughout the year!!
Happy new years again!!
#yuumi funnies#this is all over the place but i hope thas ok 👍#ill be normal again after this i promise#i am just so full of love rn
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Howard Hamlin is the light of my life, flame of my soul, reason to keep going.
#neeed to get it all out here im sorry#i am just so full of love rn#i cant believe i havent watched bcs in so long that i forgot how much i miss him
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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#bojan cvjetićanin#joker out#no words#and this is only the first batch he's gonna keep drip-feeding us over the next 24 hours??#maybe i should log out#x#i need that last one with the spiky armband in full size i am so serious rn damon baker i am shaking you like a rascal kitten HAND IT OVER#if you see 4 different versions of this post no you didn't#i can't keep up#can he just. post full photos Somewhere without these collages be fr how do you not have a proper website#hold on. he's wearing damon's bumblebee fuzzy sweater#and he's shirtless in that last one#how am i supposed to live laugh love in these conditions#jo#damon baker#nonsos
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god what really gets me about dead boy detectives and what i think i love so much about the show and the relationships in it is that like. the romantic and sexual relationships aren't portrayed as being more unique or important than the platonic relationships. they're all just RELATIONSHIPS.
charles and crystal's attraction to each other and eventual hookup isn't this big end-all be-all relationship that shatter charles and edwin's friendship and draws charles' attention away from edwin; it's just a THING that happens. they're just two people that care about each other and happen to also be attracted to each other, and a hook-up happens, then they decide that neither of them are in the right place for it and it's nothing awful. crystal kisses charles, but it isn't some big spectacle of her declaring her love for him; it's just her saying goodbye and that she cares about him, like her hugs with niko and jenny and her handshake with edwin.
edwin realizes he loves charles romantically and tells him, and charles says he doesn't really love edwin romantically BACK, but it's okay, because they still love each other so much in so many other ways that this one tiny difference could never change them—and it doesn't!! they're still just as close, still care for each other just as much, still SHOW that care for each other just as much. their relationship didn't completely end because edwin loved charles in a way charles couldn't reciprocate, but at the same time it isn't "solved" by edwin getting over it, because there's nothing TO solve. it's just another type of love, added to everything that already exists between them. and they have LITERALLY FOREVER to figure out what it means.
the relationships between edwin & niko, crystal & niko, and crystal & edwin aren't given any less weight for being solely platonic, just as charles & crystal's relationship and edwin's feelings for charles aren't given (that much) MORE weight for being romantic. crystal and charles' conflict in the closet is about EDWIN, about how they're BOTH his friend and BOTH want to get him back; it has very little to do with the feelings between THEM, romantic or otherwise. similarly, the weight of charles' and edwin's relationship isn't diminished in the LEAST by charles not reciprocating the romantic side of his feelings (or SAYING he doesn't reciprocate, at least—we can all argue about the legitimacy of that in the notes).
i'm sure there are more examples than this, as well as probably some examples that CONTRADICT this, but like... by and large, it feels like dead boy detectives is a show where all the relationships are given equal weight regardless of platonic, sexual, romantic, or familial status, and as someone on both the asexual and aromantic spectrums who has struggled time and time again with shows casting out the importance of all other relationships in favor of prioritizing romance, that is INCREDIBLY refreshing to see.
#this might be a lot of run-on sentences and me repeating itself because its 2 am rn (sidenote how the HELL did it get that late last i chec#-ed it was like 11???) but i hope u enjoy anyway 👍#magpie thoughts#dead boy detectives#ik before watching the show i saw a lot of people were annoyed by charles and crystal's relationship and thought it felt forced and like#-they had no romantic chemistry#but honestly. having watched the show. i don't see that at all?#like maybe it's just me being aspec and not getting what ''romantic chemistry'' even IS but like. they were people. they were two fucked up#-people that happened to be attracted to each other and they hooked up when both of them were in low places and agreed to not go any furthe#-after. but beyond all of that they are FRIENDS and they STAY friends and like. they just felt like PEOPLE#the way they were written and the way the actors ACTED IT felt like ten times better to me than the dozens of pinacle romances i've seen in#-other tv shows#(and also i gotta say i love the other CASUALNESS with which sex was mentioned in the early episodes. it wasnt made out to be this big thin#-that only happens when tied to romance; it was just a THING. theyre both hot and in different circumstances they totally would have had se#-about it (and eventually they did but thats besides the point). that's it)#they're people. this is a show full of ghosts and demons and witches and crows-turned-into-boys but they are all fundamentally just PEOPLE#beautiful and fucked up human beings that feel attraction and hurt and fear and love in a million different ways.#AUGH i love this show so much#paineland#payneland#crystal palace#charles rowland#edwin payne#niko sasaki#dead boy detective netflix#dbda
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[ID: a digital drawing of characters from the owl house based on the song "up the wolves" by the mountain goats. At the top of the drawing there's a rectangular panel showing Camila and Eda. Camila looks out at the boiling isles at night with her bat. Eda mirrors her pose, with her arm covered in feathers. Shadows form to look like the collectors face, covering Eda's eyes and parts of Camila. Beneath this panel is a star with King and the Collector inside of it, holding hands and spinning midair. Beneath this is the archway portal from thanks to them, which is glowing, and at the bottom of the image is the hexsquad lined up in their designs from for the future, lit by the portal light and looking determinedly into the distance. The lyrics that span the image are "our mother has been absent/ever since we founded Rome/but there's gonna be a party when the wolf comes home". The background is black. End ID]
I knew I couldn't say goodbye to this show without redrawing one of my favorite old pieces, this lyric comic based on Up The Wolves by the mountain goats. I made it pre-ttt and was honestly really vindicated by all the wolf imagery that ep, lmao
#the owl house#toh#toh spoilers#watching and dreaming#luz noceda#hunter toh#willow park#amity blight#gus porter#eda clawthorne#king clawthorne#the collector toh#camila noceda#I REALLY DID DRAW 9 CHARACTERS FOR THIS DIDN'T I#hate this fucking show and the way it has constantly inspired me to push my own artistic boundaries. mad as hell about that#i don't have time for a full-on tag ramble rn but just know that i am so fucking sad about this show ending and fighting with myself#bc it feels like it'd be so much easier to like. shut my love for it off??? in order to not feel as bad about it ending#I've had a year or so with it (barely tho) surely this can satisfy me#but that's just. straight up not true and makes me feel bad in a whole different way#it is weird!! it's weird that this show I've watched 5 times over is ending and i might never get anything else from it#but I'm not gonna let that sour the show or fandom as a whole for me?? if that makes sense#i love this show top to bottom front to back. not bc it's perfect but bc it sees me and i love it for that#also it's really funny and beautiful and well written and. just. AUGHDHDJDJ!!!!!!! I'M NORMAL!!!#okay i have to go shower now#I'm going to gently leave this with you guys. i put a lot into her. do with it as you will#that's all#i love you 💖
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the cangel crumbs i got in buffy season 2 just made me more in love with them than i've been in a long time. LOOK AT THOSE TWO. THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW THEY'RE GONNA BE BEST FRIENDS THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW THEY'RE GONNA FALL IN LOVE THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW THEY'RE GONNA CHANGE EACH OTHERS LIVES FOR THE BETTER
#like legit before this rewatch i was like..... i know i loved cangel a lot but i was so divorced from the franchise that#i couldn't be sure how i'd feel during a full rewatch#and i was completely prepared to go harder for other ships bc rn i'm very..... let myself roll with things#and give up my past opinions and impressions and just let it unfold and let my heart and mind take it all in fresh#and yeah. i was like...... so spun over the interactions they got#just because we don't get ~endgame~ (not that that's lol a real thing in this universe or important at all) doesn't make the journey lesser#i love them so much entirely as is#even if i would love to reach inside the screen and shift things all the way around#buffyrewatch2k24#cangel#i just have a lot of feelings#god remember cordy defending angel to buffy a day after she found out angel was a vampire at all#and i still am SO curious how cordys gonna take it when he shows back up post-evil era#aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh i'm excited
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bed chem is so xavier coded btw
Who's the cute boy with the white jacket and the thick accent? Like
Who's the cute guy with the wide, blue eyes and the big bad mm? Like
#love and deepspace#xavier#lads#lnds xavier#lnds#listened to bed chem‘s full song rn and holy shit#when i heard the lyrics i was just. Xavier????#LIKE THE BLUE EYES ARE JUST STRAIGHT UP XAVIER MAN#i am so fucked#i love him a lot this is crazy#bed chem#xavier coded#fr
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fall out boy forever and ever btw. most special magical band to ever exist forever
#feeling the fob emotion so strongly and it isnt even saturday time i just. ph my god i love them i love this tour i am so full of love rn#txt
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i've been doing a bunch of tartarus runs in reload lately, and it got me thinking about how i miss certain ways FES's clunky gameplay can characterize minato… (ramble about the great clock mechanic + leveling up party members in reload vs fes under the cut)
when i got to yabbashah block in tartarus (block 3), i remember commending the developers for adding the great clock mechanic. it's a much more convenient way to keep party members at the protagonist's level- so when you think about p3 from the perspective of trying to make it easier for people to play, the mechanic succeeds in this respect.
but now that i'm in adamah block, and that i've done lots of my once-a-month tartarus runs… i think that i got a little too dependent on it, and the way that i played through reload feels like a vastly different experience from how i played FES.
in reload, my party's levels are very lopsided. minato, yukari, akihiko, mitsuru, and fuuka are all level 90+, meanwhile junpei and aigis are at level 79, and then… poor ken and koromaru are at 71 and 64 respectively. (i never got to have a great clock for them…)
meanwhile, in FES, my party's levels were much more evenly distributed and were at least level 90. i did all of this manually for every monthly tartarus run because i enjoyed having options available for the taratarus guardians and monthly operations.
with how i perceive minato, i feel that the way i played FES feels more in-line with his character than me dawdling around waiting for the great clocks in reload.
FES's gameplay loop left me with the very strong impression that minato has to work twice as hard as everyone else in SEES does. it makes sense because, yeah, he's the leader, but something about having minato run through tartarus multiple times with different groups of people just to make sure that they are adequately prepared speaks volumes about his character, to me.
and while the tired mechanic is present in reload to some degree, most notably with allowing you to freely raise your courage stat when you visit edogawa after school… the tiredness system doesn't hit the same way that FES does, i think.
the way your party members in FES will call it quits when they return to the entrance floor at tartarus when they're tired, versus minato, in spite of all his tiredness and sickness, still pushes through tartarus because it's his responsibility…. idk!!! i miss that! i feel like this really hammers home the difference between minato and the rest of SEES, how minato doesn't really see himself as a human with needs worth respecting as long as he's useful to someone.
i don't think that tartarus being tedious (in FES especially) is not what most people would describe as fun, and i can respect people thinking it's a slog. but, regardless of how it feels to play, it doesn't change that FES's gameplay loop is a fundamental building block in how i perceive minato…
of course, i do recognize that you can just opt to NOT use the great clock in reload (and it's great when players are offered the choice to not partake in mechanics)! i definitely think that if someone really wanted to, they could manually level up party members, but i do feel that kind of playstyle isn't necessarily "incentivized" to the type of people who are into playing games for Having a Good Time. it's kind of like… "why would you do that when there's a much more convenient option available to you."
in any case! despite my woes, i do want to emphasize that i'm glad that reload has a much more smoother gameplay loop than the original P3 did, because it does make the game more accessible to people. having played both FES and reload, it feels very strongly apparent to me how the core gameplay formula of persona has really been refined in the past 18 years (to think og p3 was 2006 and reload is 2024.. time flies!). and reload has made revisiting a story that i love so dearly much, much easier because the gameplay just bops!
at the same time, due to my "i miss characterization informed by weird and dated FES gameplay quirks" woes, i still think that playing FES is worthwhile. (really, i feel this way about all iterations of p3! i think it's worthwhile to see what each version and side media has to say even if it doesn't Land™ for you.) but i also understand why people wouldn't want to play it, so i will keep writing posts about things i liked from FES's gameplay because i'm still very fond of FES (especially in respects to minato. these mechanics are so telling about him!!!) 💪
#lizzy speaks#persona 3#persona 3 reload#<- specifically mentions of mechanics. no added story content just tartarus talk#minato arisato#today on lizz life: lizz wakes up THINKING about minato for the NTH time and is compelled to write a tumblr post about it#tartarus in reload is excellent looking and fun but i keep thinking about what i liked about how FES characterizes minato so#here i am... LOL... with my 790 or so word ramble... im so normal about the blue boy#i needed to get my feelings out there somewhere i just could not stop thinking about HIM HE IS IN MY BRAIN 24/7#me playing reload last night like 'minato would not fucking wait for a great clock to make sure that SEES is adequately prepared.'#and yet my sloth brain awaits the great clock... LOL gameplay convenience is not lost on me#i'm stuck in tartarus rn im grinding rubies and stuff trying to get equipment so i can throw hands with elizabeth its going to be fun#im still not done with this game i continue to be haunted by tartarus i fucking love that tower unironically#uh usually id ramble more in tags but. go read my post!! because i like analyzing FES gameplay mechanics!! i am full of passion and love!
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Hey I'm graduating college in may and I just kinda realized that I'll be Done Done with school after that. Not fake-done like I was graduating high school, where I'd have to go to college at the start of the fall. And not fake-done like I was in any of my semesters I took off.
Done Done. As in I accomplished my degree, and I won't ever have to go back to school if I don't want to. What a beautiful, beautiful thought.
#speculation nation#i enjoy learning but not in school. school is the soul killer. there's a reason it's taking me 10 years to get my bachelors.#failed classes and switched majors and part time school (so i could work and pay my way thru) and semesters taken off...#for 9 and a half years now it's been a fucking shadow hanging over my head.#just gotta keep going just gotta persevere. slow and steady wins the race.#and well im nearly there now. holy fuck tho i didnt miss full time school lmfao#i went to part time a few years back to save my fuckin self bc it was just *impossible* to do full time school And work to support myself.#and even part time school plus a job was horrible. but i did it anyways.#and here i am now with my lovely life insurance from my awful paternal death. life sure happens as it will huh.#which will let me complete school in a neat 10 years. graduated high school in 2015 and college in 2025. wild.#not glad my dad died but im grateful that ive gotten this opportunity afterwards.#sure is strange the ways life goes.#anyways yeah im in deadlines hell rn with all these fucking projects but ONCE I FINISH THEM#i will be done with this semester. my second to last semester.#theyre releasing class schedules today for next semester too and im a little antsy. cant edit until next week regardless#but i wanna KNOWWWWW what i got. best case scenario i get my 3 classes i need to graduate#plus my orchestra and bowling. so i have a full 12 credit hours. to be full time still.#im scared of not having gotten 3 classes bc theyre selectives yea so i dont need These classes Specifically#but also it'll be a pain in my fucking ass if i have to go scrounging. and i wanna have my first choices...#but we'll see. i selected several fall-through options and i dont need any single specific class to graduate.#so long as i have 3... thatll be enough...#AUGHHHHH college!!!! im almost done!!!!! i might get straight As this semester!!!!!! exciting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i need to email my professor about setting up the book meeting lol. i should do that today.
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INTENSE MWAMWA NOISES ‼️‼️💥💥💥
#i make bgs a lot better in ibispaint no kidding#i just played around and guys. highly recommend making bg outlines for your art its so good#in case it wasnt clear how goofy i am over red right now WELL HERE IT IS. WOW I LOVE HIM#i became so kilig when i colored his outfit like MEIN GOTT JIL YOU'RE SO SMART HOW DID YOU MAKE HIM SO POGI 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩#ALSO YES THAT'S HIS TRAINER OUTFIT ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ ISN'T HE SO HANDSOMEEEEE#i should make a full body ref for that BUT. BUT. BNSNDNBDBDBD HES SO <3 GGGUUGHHHU#his hat still remains the same btw ehheeh#pokemon selfship#selfshipping#selfship#selfship community#♥️ appleshipping#~ art#wow... wifey so bold!!!!!!! kiss harder!!!!!#pikachu and togepi lookin like their kids rn for real#jaide (gameverse).insert#pipino tag
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how to spontaneously message your friends that you love them in the middle of the night without it giving suicide note vibes?
#eliot posts#i am not currently suicidal but i am suicidal often enough that i think most of my friends are on the lookout for Signs lmao#and i am typically pretty reserved with my affections so this would seem Out Of Character for me#this post is more of a rhetorical question than actually looking for answers but if you got input then cool#im just full of i love my friends juice rn
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this was supposed to be a NORMAL chapter with harry telling sirius everything he’d been upto but then it just. took a hard left and now i’ve got sirius’ grief and insecurities and harry’s rage all coming out and refusing to leave. james, somehow, has also made an appearance???? (in spirit only yes but that is still more than i expected good god)
“Merlin,” Sirius said, dazed. “I think that, right there, was the most James-like thing I’ve ever heard you say or do. And that’s really saying something after some of the things I’ve seen.”
Sirius continued, “James was, god, Harry, he was so protective. Could never stand by while one of his people were in danger or hurt. Hell, sometimes he didn’t even need to know someone to stand up for them. At least half his detentions came from him not being able to stop himself from stepping between an idiot and a hex.”
“Your father thought he needed to protect the entire world,” Sirius waved a hand dismissively, though it was clearly too fond to mean anything else, “Even if some people don’t need it, or didn’t deserve to be saved.”
“I can’t tell you how many chances he gave me,” Sirius said, laughing bitterly and oh. Suddenly, it made perfect sense.
“And now you stand here, and all I can see is how you have the very best parts of your father in you.”
#sirius black#james potter#harry potter#i am so. unhinged rn.#just thinking of james potter. full stop.#the man loved SO deeply#*incoherent screaming*#there are atleast. no tears in this#small mercies#only so many times i can believably make my characters cry lmao#anyway i just think harry needed some positive comparisons to his dad yanno#not just in terms of ‘your godfather has gone so far round the bend he thinks you are ur dad!!’#and more than just ‘you look like ur dad’#someone who really knows james and is coming to really know harry#who else but sirius#pen’s writing#fic: foundations of decay
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good morning! (it's 12am) happy kings game day! i don't think i'll be live blogging much of the kings game so this might be the last post this tag will see of me for a while 🤗 hopefully they'll win and don't embarrass me so i can function properly !!! also plssss moore u wanna score sooo bad ooohhh
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just know that i love yall lots
#even if we dont talk much#even if we dont interact much#genuinely i am full of love for everyone#im so sorry for being so bad socially if i could i would shoeer you with affection everyday#i hope this isnt toxic positivity my feelings are just very overwhelmed rn eeee#.txt
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