#neeed to get it all out here im sorry

[howabhwmwn]

Howard Hamlin is the light of my life, flame of my soul, reason to keep going.

[boxwinebaddie]

hi nina! do you have any other songs that you think cd would cover? i just really liked new perspective and i think ur music taste is rlly cool :3

d'awww!!! hi there, sweet pea! <3

tysm for your ask but, before you start reading ( because this message got VERY long ), i just want to let everyone know that i used this ask to explain some Very Complex Ravenstan/Callgirl Fake Dating Lore...so if you are interested in that, it starts towards the middle of this ask...it's a lil chaotic, but i tried to make it as interesting and clear as i could! no obligation to read, ofc, as always, but i did want to preface this ask with that info, so you know this one is

*Secretly An Important RM Lore Ask.*

but back to what i was doing ( screaming ):

— because aAAAAAAAAAA!!!! c': <333

i am not even joking, you guys, despite the fact that my fic is based almost entirely around Music, i avoided answering music-related asks for so LONG bc i was legitimately so nervous about it being negatively perceived or read for filth on here, which, i Know, is silly because it's my fanfic and what i say goes, i can't change my music taste anymore than i can change the way my dna loops, but...idk.

like, i feel like A Lot of people are self conscious abt their music taste, but my social anxiety/inferiority complex can get so gnarly that i actually get Nervous when people ask me about what kind of music i like and i never EVER sit shot gun in cars bc i am...scared to aux. :/

iiiiiit's...That Bad. ( nina, please get therapy. )

i also feel like people in this fandom can get Very Intense about what kind of music they associate with the boys/what music the boys listen to and are FRIGHTENINGLY QUICK to rip people to shreds over opinions that don't align with theirs or aren't obscure or 'cool' enough.

bc of that, i try to be Very Lowkey on this blog because the larger part of this fandom and the criminally insane level at which they escalate petty fights over canon/fanon, like to the point that they are frothing at the mouth and start doxing people...gives me Extreme Stress. which, in my line of work, i actually CANNOT have happen.

tldr; i want absolutely NO part of it and like my lil corner.

thank you for keeping it Safe. <3

AND THANK YOU FOR ENJOYING MY MUSIC TASTE!!! EEEE c: <3 THAT IS SO REASURRING AND HEALING FOR ME TO HEAR!!!! MUSIC TO MY EARS, BABY! LITERALLY! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THAAAANK YOU! *holds you* *squishes you* *kisses ur head*

istg, if nothing else the fact that i have a bunch of you rocking out to New Perspective and positively associating it with my fanfic means that i have done my job and that's a legacy i'm willing to die with.

i'm being so serious, i feel like if rm was a tv show, it would play as the outro to every episode...but like a nice, soft, raw version w/ ravenstan on acoustic guitar to contrast the hard ass cd cover of style by tswizz that i think would open every episode...smh, nina, please, pleease stop imagining your unfinished, crack-fanfic as a netflix og series. >.>

BUT!!! okay!!!! in vein of trying not to worry about the perception of my music taste or what other people want from me...tHIS IS A KIND OF CONTREVERSIAL TAKE BUT I TIED IT TO THE PLOT, OKAY?

so, as a little nina lore and for context, when i was in elementary school around like 4th/5th grade, i was listening to like a lot of early y2k bangers, ig. dirty little secret by all american rejects, hey there delilah by the plain white tees, girlfriend by avril lavigne core, etc.

( just to make you giggle, i also had a ps2 and there was a series of video games called singstar that were some off shoot of rockband/gh that had mics you plugged directly into the system...pls note my high score on sk8r boi really should be put in the guinness world records, like if you held a gun to my head and told me to sing that song, i not only would i fuck it up but i would LIVE, baby! better luck next time! )

...it was also around early disney channel times ( the disney channel games with the team colors...that was my OLYMPICS, bitch! ) and i had this Disney Pop Hits Vol...1? i think? cd i used to play on the prehistoric radio thing in my room and my favorite song on it was...

pop princess by the click five.

AND I KNOW!!! I KNOOOOOW!!!! controversial take, but i am sorry, THAT SONG FUCKS!!!! THAT SONG IS SOOOO AWESOME!!!!!

and i feel like when ravenstan was fake dating call girl during the great hate south park embark, cd covered it: i am picturing a less finger-bang, btr, disney channel esqe sound and more of a pop-punk, pedal to the metal, electric guitar type, edgy rockstar boy typa beat.

but Yes, i think ravenstan covered it or idk i really think that it was made FOR call girl. and it was BAD ASF. i also think bc tcf wrote that song about hannah montana ( iconic ), and bc call girl is basically the whole internet's e-girl bubblegum pop princess in my fanfic, it just...

makes...Sense.

am i making sense? do we see the vision? aka rs in his lil pants w/ the ripped red and black flannel tied around his waist, fallin to his knees, singing his heart out, pointing at her, winking? PPL DIIIIIIIIIED.

and by people, i do mean jerseykyle n bebe who were MAD AS HELL,

-- but also tapping their toe...smh.

it was both very cool and very annoying. RIP.

( ...do i have jersey and bebe make out during the pop princess call girl tribute as mlm/wlw solidarity? HEEEELP ICOOONIC *jk vibrating with stress and anger vc* barbara, i need you to do somethin for me don't ask questions, i'll explain later, It's Important sdks MESSY! )

BUT OKAY!!!! SPEAAAAKING OF THEM AND THAT AND CALLGIRL AND RAVEN OF CRIMSON DAWN DATING!!!! i wanted to give you some lore and some spoilery plot about that/them bc it is burning a Hole in my brain...i must discuss r.s. and call girl becaaaause

~Its....Complicated.~

ANYWAYS!!!! IMPORTANT PLOT TIME!!!!

so, for more context: i am currently working on another ask abt how ike found out that jerseykyle/ravenstan used to be dating and during that conversation in kyle's room about three days into the sp trip, CONCURRENTLY somewhere Else, ravenstan and call girl are getting ready to do some flashy PR thing like go on a date/get din, idk.

BUT RIGHT BEFORE IT: ravenstan and call girl are alone together, and ravenstan, who, i am not even kidding you, is sooo fucking Pissed that this is EVEN HAPPENING because kyle is super mad at him, was like you are Actually Dead to me, WILL NOT TALK TO HIM...

( which without spoiling too much -- is actually why ike can tell that somethin Fucked Up is happening because j.k. is super aggressive and loud and is not afraid to Fuck Your Shit Up...but has not laid a FINGER on raven of crimson dawn...and actually, seems to not even want to be Near him, barely acknowledges his existence, leaves rooms that he is in and is Radio Silent around him...WHICH IS TWICE AS SCARY AS J.K. YELLING AND TRYING TO KILL YOU. so, uhh, Not fucking...Good, you guys. ike was like...this is...not fucking normal. )

but again, he cannot tell kyle what is going on bc he might actuuuuallly get MURDERED??? uh???

anyways, in whatever secure, secluded space rae/cg are in ( its somewhere private, i pictured a dressing room of sorts, like a makeup trailer, somewhere they have to take pics ) stan is Extremely Straight Up with her and says something to the effect of:

"i have no idea what you think this is or what you want this to be or what they told you, but we are not dating and this...is NOT. Real."

and call girl ( aka wendy whose identity is a secret to EVERYONE, No One has seen the bottom half of call girl's face...Ever. she changes her wigs everyday, they are Very Elaborate and is always in a very high tech face mask that covers her face from the nose down and uses a voice modulator to mask her speaking voice...a mysterious queen ) oddly enough seems completely relieved by this statement and is like

*squints*

"don't worry, Emo Boy. feeling is mutual. like, no offense, but you are seriously...not my type. Ew. trust me, i don’t want to do this either but,

— I Have To."

wHICHSHDLSKDHLSD SHE GUTTED HIM HELP. he was *gigantic stan slow eye blinks in shock* like "right, okay, Ow. that was...Mean." kshdlksdls but then was "--but i am glad we...agree. i Also HAVE To. not because of publicity, it's...Deeper than that...i can't really ta--"

to which call girl, locking eyes with him, dead seriously, lowering her modulated voice is like...

"it's tenorman, right?

He Threatened You."

and r.s, gagged! Again!!! is like

"holy shit, he THREATENED /YOU/ TOO?!?!"

and call girl nods very slowly and starts to say

"he told me if i didn't do it he would..."

and rs with the same kind of mounting horror whispers

" — Kill Everyone You Love And Care About?"

which, at this point, folks, they are both like...

...WOAH.

bc they realize they are both stuck in the same torture chamber together, they Both got cornered into this really elaborate ruse and have to keep it up in order to keep the people that they love Safe and it's...A Lot. it...really is. but it's also sort of freeing and cathartic to knowing you are not alone going through what is pretty much the worst thing that has ever happened to you in your entire life.

i also feel like...there is this natural bond. this Energy between them. like they understand/see each other and feel...safe with one another.

and call girl, guard still up, dips a toe in uncharted water, and goes:

"well...since were partners in crime now and have to live a lie in public...i think we at least owe it to each other in private...

...to be Real."

she offers this bc they have reached an understanding, an impasse, a standstill, a draw of sorts. and there is a thick tension...as well as this crescendoing vulnerability that hangs the air with her ultimatum as they stare warily at each other, strangers, both wearing still wearing their masks, call girl physically in hers and stan in his metaphorical one doing the dark, raspy smoke and mirrors raven voice bc he is...not sure about her in the same way that she is...

...still not sure abt him.

( they are basically that one spiderman meme where both the spidermans are holding each other at gun point. ) and it's a huge Risk to indulge her request, but again...they both have everything to lose.

and no one...but Eachother.

so he indulges her very tentatively and counters:

"alright...then, tell me something Real, call girl."

to which she nods, closes her eyes and goes. "fine. my real name..."

call girl trails off, reaches up to tap the voice modulator on her mask, turns it off, reaches out her rhine-stoned, sequined, hot pink faux leather gloved hand out to shake his and in her real voice, says,

" — Is Wendy."

and this...is a Very BIG Deal.

again, no one has ever heard call girl's voice before. no one knows what her name is or Anything about her. she doesn't even preform live, she does virtual concerts and is basically this sort of mysterious, ai, vocaloid/miku internet personality that is very Carefully and elaborately Coded and ENCRYPTED to keep her identity Safe.

so her turning off her voice mod and speaking to stan, not as a fictional, larger than life computer-generated celebrity, but as a human being...is massive.

it's also very...Comforting to ravenstan.

who has not been himself...for a very long time. and it's not smart, it's not a good idea, but he decides to trust her and in turn,

in his real voice, says,

"stan. my name...is Stan.

It's Nice To Meet You, Wendy."

he shakes her hand and she shakes his.

she says, "it's nice to meet you too, stan." :)

and it feels...Nice. it should feel wrong, what they're doing, but it feels right, it feels fucking amazing to stop Preforming. she knows his name, she's seen his face...but realizes he still has not seen Hers and running on adrenaline, bolstered by a rare surge of bravery, chinks at her armor, or mask rather, and makes a motion.

literally.

bc he reaches up towards her face and goes, "oof. it's nice to hear your human voice; the dystopian robot voice was lowkey espantoso."

he laughs, it's genuine and super ugly, god bless him. so you Know he's being really real when he asks "but...if it's all the same to you. if were going to speak freely; i'd like to...see Who i am speaking to.

so can i, please, uh...see your Face? your whole face.

your...Real face."

and oof. this...is a little nerve-wracking for wendalends.

she's neeeever taken the mask off. ever. Ever. EVER.

For A-n-y-o-n-e.

but...she might never have the chance again and it is...really stuffy under there. so she Agrees and lets stan remove her face apparatus.

ravenstan does say "Wowza." HDLKSHDSl amazing.

he's also my boyfail king and says something very fucking stupid like

"sorry, you're REALLY Pretty. i was worried might look like deadpool under there." she smiles, it's beautiful. no one has seen her real smile before as call girl and thanks him. she goes on to apologize and is like

"thank you, stan. you're really sweet and i...am sorry i said 'ew'. it's not because you're ugly, you're kind of...Cute for a guy, actually? you have really nice bone structure and very kind eyes. it's just, when i said you weren't my type i meant Boys. in...general."

her voice shakes a little, she's never admitted this out loud before, not even to her girlfriend. but she trusts stan with the nice bone structure and dumb ugly laugh and very kind eyes, so she says

"i'm a...Lesbian.

i'm also Seeing Someone at the moment.

It's Complicated."

and stan is like, skhdlsd way too excited to talk about kyle, and is like

"okay, whew! i'm ALSO seeing someone! or well..." then remembers and is like oooof "well...i Was...seeing someone i guess. it's..."

my man is Depressed and is trying to change the subject because he realizes he actually can't talk about kyle because not only is cartman going to kill him if he does...he is also gonna freakin K!ll Himself because he's actually so sad that kyle currently hates his GUTS.

so he sighs, echoing her and admits "It's...Complicated." :/

he wants to hear something nice though, something real...and nice. because he is a romantico king. who believes more than anything...

in Love.

so he asks her what her girlfriend's name is. <3 :')

annnd i think she is About to say bebe's name...but realizes if she does, it will completely blow her cover.

like her ACTUAL Cover.

because stan knowing her first name and her what she looks like under the mask is one thing...but the second she says bebe's name, it's going to reveal that she is kyle's bebe's wen/wendyl which...is

Meeeeessy.

but she reasons ( as an intelligent, rational queen ) that regardless of how messy things get, her and stan are in this mess together and that the best time to make a mess...is when you are Coming Clean.

still...this is...very sensitive information. she’s not sure how he's gonna take it and needs some sort of collateral.

so she states her terms.

and call girl, who stan now knows is wendy, but not bebe's current girlfriend ( yet ) says "okay. i am going to tell you something, but in order to do it. i have to tell you...Everything. in exchange, i need YOU to tell me Everything. i am going to give you One Chance to do so willingly. if not...i do not care how untraceable you Think you are, i am very familiar with the dark web and i will find out everything i Need to know about you. and do with that information...What. I. Please.

...so /please./ promise me you won't tell anyone about what i am about to tell you...and then, tell me...stan...Something Real."

stan agrees and wendy goes into everything. comes out as trans to him and explains her origin story. ( i started to write everything in this ask but it got too long, i'll tell you all about call girl/wendy in another ask i have a couple in the box i can use, haha. ) she tells him pretty much everything ( it's a big therapy session in there ) up until this point, gaydhd ravenstan...manages to understand

Everything.

and when she finishes, true to the deal, she gently volleys the ball into his court, ( they are friends now, aw <3 ) and softly goes:

"okay...Your Turn."

and so ravenstan...who is Deeply Inspired by wendy...Wowza. he seriously thinks she is so fucking cool and ALSO A TRANS ICON??? HELLO? he feels v seen and heard and safe, so uh...jesus christ, he grabs wendy's hands, takes a veeeeeery deep breath and goes,

"so, i...

— Am DEAD."

LKHDSHSDLKDS HEEELP KSHLKDS

annnnnnd proceeds to tell her everything.

and i do mean...Everything.

they talk for the rest of the night basically, having this heart to heart, at the same time that, unbeknownst to ravenstan, jerseykyle and ike are also having a heart to heart....wendy and stan are platonic besties, they agree to keep each other's secrets as t4t legends stuck in cartman's fucked up marionette hell together, they agree to keep their crazy charade up while they try and find a way out/back to bebe and kyle, take some v convincing publicity pictures together ( i do think jk and bebe see them and want to die So Bad, it's not funny...bebe/jk or wendy/rs...choose your doomed broship. Fml. )

and that's...

Your Crazy Uncle Nina RM Lore Drop For The Night!

i hope you enjoyed it, haha. <3 please feel free to drop me a line in the ole ask box about it and ofc, as always, to ask me anything you would like! if you're still with me...after all this time. thank you so much for supporting me and enjoying my content.

it means...Everything to me.

and in writing something fake...

thank you all:

for being my Something Real. <3 c':

-uncle nina, callgirl/raven superfan

[saenora]

Imagine meeting your neighbor Yuuta in the apartment next yours. You were coming back home from another shitty date night. Cursing about how the guy just wanted to fuck you and didn’t even pay for the food. You were tired and tipsy and mostly angry, as your keys seem to be working against you, you tried twisting and turning the key multiple times in the keyhole to get inside your apartment. But it just wasn’t working, you let out a scream and bang your head against the door. Tears pricking at your eyes as you choked out sobs. You then hear the door turning and around the corner peeked a timid looking young man? Teen? He looked old enough not to be called a kid but his babyface made him seem really young. You blink at him thru unshed tears and jumped away from the door. “O-oh shit! This was your apartment! I am so fucking sorry, I thought this was my apartment, you see I’m not a crazy person, I swear! I just-I-fuck-I” You start babbling about your terrible date night to your confused and possibly scared neighbor you just met.

You couldn’t stop yourself though, like the tears, your words just kept on spilling out. Until your were a crying mess, your neighbor didn’t end up calling the cops on you though, he held you in his arms and soothes your cries until you were just whimpering. He listen to your words and said sweets words to you that made your heart melt and heat pool in your core. He invited you inside his apartment after you calmed down, saying “I hate to leave a pretty girl like you stained with tears all alone tonight…” He was so sweet and nice, and alluring.. your mind was a daze as you knew you shouldn’t trust a stranger but the way he held your hand and wiped away your tears… You joined him inside.

“Ah-Ah-mmm-hahh!” Now here you were, legs locked into a mating press by the boy that was just sweet talking you earlier. You were crying once again, but not from sadness this time, you were crying from the overstimulation, Yuuta was giving you on your spent pussy. “Yuuta! Yuu-ahhh, Yuuta, Yuuta!” You chanted his name like it was the only thing you knew how to say even though you barely learned it tonight. His hips slammed in yours with such force that the bed shake beneath you everytime, his thumb was rubbing circles on your puffy clit, the cum and juices leftover from the orgasms before made it quite easy for him to rub at you. “It’s your fault, you know.. hahh.. fuck.. banging on my door like that.. wearing this slutty dress..mmf.. like you were begging me to just fuck you then and there..”

You whined as you start to feel another orgasm building, however this time, Yuuta pulled out his thick cock and slapped it against your twitching clit. His arms still pressing your legs against your chest. "You want to come again...?"

"Hmm... tell me that won't go see those other men anymore and that this pussy.." He slaps his wrist this time against your pussy, causing you to try to buck your hips up, to no avail. "Belongs to me and only me... and then I'll give you what you been begging for.."

RAHHH YUUTA IM TIRED STOP INVADING MY BRAIN PLS

SOFTIEEEE I AHVE BEEN REREADING THIS OVWR AND OVER AGAINSHE TRYING TO FIND TEH RITE WORDS TO TYPE IN THE RESPONSE 😭😭😭 BUT I CANTSHDDJ FRFRFRFR… THIS YUUTA ISSS SUCHA. DREAM… NEED HIM TO RUTT AGAINST ME 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 HE IS SUCHA. NEEED AND I CAN BE SO NEEDY FOR H— BYE

#: @mrskenmakozume @kenruu @daikiiss

[simonzmama]

hii pretty girl take all the rest u neeed <33 uni is very draining nd i’m struggling to push thru sumtimes but i sortaa recharge on tumblr reading fics🤭🤭 what breed is ur dog? is it js the cutest ball of fluff? been wanting to get a pet but it’s such a hugee responsibility . n dw we all kinda lazy sometimes .

what’s ur hobby? wd u do in ur free time? if possible at all will u give tips on how to clean cuticles cuz mama i’ve been tryna clean my nails but they alw end up bleeding ughh. if there’s no fuss then i’d keep my asks comin ur wayy. recently been spending lots of time surfing on tumblr js reading here n there nd it’s so so so nice to have sm1 to chat w ! !!! nd an angel at that i’m so blessed .

u stay healthy n happy n continue bein this cutest adorable sweet ball of sunshine babyyy.

muah muah till nx time 🎀

aww baby i don’t technically understand how draining it can get, but i know you can push through. you have me n everybody’s support we believe in you honey!!

my baby is a black lil labrador retriever, we ain’t know who the baby daddy is 😂 but the vet guesses most likely a german shepherd but my bitch got some BEADY ass eyes im like did a lil chihuahua fuck sum big ass dog 😂

i don’t have a much free time but in the time that i do, i hop up on here for a bit n read when i feel like it but my eyes have been acting up. i think im going blind i just dont got the money for some glasses or an eye exam 😂 my hobby is nails i suppose even though its my job 🤦‍♀️ been on since senior yearrrr!!

okay now babydoll i ain’t the best at explaining so work with me here yeah love? with cuticles you must be very careful hun, i suggest if you do it a lot and want to not cut yourself as much, buy a cheap lil drill off amazon or sum 🤣 they’ve got sum lil cuticle bits you can use to expose the natural nail from the dead skin. if not, just take a cuticle pusher and probably buy a cuticle softener n you wanna just gently push back the skin ya feel me baby? then under a bright light, you want to make sure you get only the dead skin right? cutting live skin is super superrrr bad n that’s what’s making you bleed mami so you just gotta take your time and snip little by little you’ve gotta be super careful with it lil bunny. (sorry if that made absolutely no sense…) if you was with me baby i’d just go head n do it for you but sadly… sigh

i’m glad to be talking to you honeyyyy i promise we’re all super super sweet on here n love getting your messages luvie!! never be scared to reach out n start out a convo with anyone!! specially someone as cute as you ma i promise you!! are you into any other fandoms?? what’re you into honey tell me more wanna get to know this pretty girl hitting me up

YOU stay being sweet doll, eat good n drink bunches of water hun take care of yourself can’t even imagine being such a sweet lil angel get all the rest possible love!!

kisses baby i love you sooo much!! 💗

[cryleforhelp]

Some k2 headcanons??? Like I NEEED IT (+ Cryle too!! <33)

Please (and yes I'm the same person who told you to name the kyle shippy thingy- sorry for typos too my cat is on my chest right now lol)

HELLO ANON.. i hope ur out there somewhere still.. im so sorry for answering this ask late hhh BUT IM HERE NOW!!!!!!!!

K2 HEADCANONS:

• kenny would kiss kyle three times before he leaves anywhere, signaling "i love you" but in kiss form (idk how to explain it better)

• i think both of them drive but kyle likes being a passenger princess just a LITTLE bit. Just a little.

• the heights i headcanon for these two are 5'11"-6'0" (kenny) and 5'7"-5'9" (kyle). it really depends on how i'm feeling

• i think k2 are so oblivious to their feelings for each other that everyone but them knows that they like one another

• i think kyle's a lot more reactive in emotion than kenny, but kenny is a lot more bottled up than kyle. i think this is something that they would work out in their relationship

• even if they have a fight, they would still tell each other i love you at the end of the day no matter what.

• whenever kyle goes out, if he sees something that he thinks kenny likes he would get it for him! and vice versa !!!

• kenny would take candid photos of kyle because he thinks he's the prettiest and handsomest person ever

• they would have matching keychains to put on their keys

• kenny has the crush first and confesses first

• kenny loves flirting with kyle because he thinks kyle's reaction is cute, but kenny would literally be so flustered if kyle does something smooth

• they both have polaroids of each other together on the back of their phones >:3

THATS ALL I COULD THINK OF RIGHT NOW.... MY BRAIN IS SO ROTTEN RN. WJWKEIWIIRID WHEN I THINK OF STUFF FOR CRYLE ILL RB THIS AND ADD ON!!!!!!

[another-dra-anew]

mekaru cuz she's neglected tbh 🥺?

im so fucking guilty of neglecting her. i neeed her to make friends so i can start spinning her in my mind with characters im already obsessed with so she can be More in my brain as her own character. mekaru pls pls just start being more authentic and love urself-

cw she has so much internalized homophobia. that’s all tho

-My identity hc for them

canon lesbian!! has a lot of comphet tho. like, a lot. like, only character to upload the “fact” they’re het to their report card. 

- Thoughts on their home life/family

ya know. i think she’s lying to herself about how much she likes kids. i don’t think she’s inclined to them but playing babysitter all the time has made her p child adverse. however admitting this means realizing she can’t gain “i am a normal respectable non-offending person who no one has any reason to have any issue with” points by raising 2.5 kids. so. yeah she just chooses to keep lying to herself

- How i feel about their canonical writing/handling

tbh i think i do a bad job portraying her comphet? buuut. to take a step back and think neutrally about things, i think that’s predominantly a result of, again, the role she plays in the story, and the fact we’re not in her head. we can judge how well i write her comphet when we get to pick her brain a bit more in ftes. id rather have a more subtle, more accurate depiction, then one that’s made inaccurate with how in your face “wow my bestie is so pretty if only girls who liked girls were real…” it is. (<- not that portrayals like that are bad/wrong, it’s abt enjoying yourself while not feeding into negative stereotypes! i just don’t really want to depict her comphet in that more lighthearted manner).

- The one thing i’d want to make canon about them

again. this is prolly just gonna be stuff which didn’t happen in canon but could’ve if things were different? w/mekaru i think if she studied psychology more and like. Dedicated herself to it she could easily rise to shsl psychiatrist level. this is canon but i think that she’s specifically interested in medicine when it comes to treatment of the human condition. she likes and grasps it all, but the history of assorted pills is where she Shines

- My number one favorite ship for them

okada my beloved <3. (obligatory: okada aimi is mekarus bestie! she’ssss. sapphic, i don’t have anything more specific/anything otherwise canon for her. she likes mekaru and thinks mekaru likes her back (she’s right), buuut. she hasn’t confessed because she thinks she’ll be rejected (she’s right, again.) she’s trying to gently tug mekaru into having a Revelation but it hasn’t been going v well for her.

- …Now everyone else i ship with them

i used to say that like. tomori was probably her gateway into her moment of Realization. i can still see that being true but i think it was less genuine desire to date and moreso.  mekaru projecting what she feels she needs to be onto tomori then seeing tomori being queer and going. hmmm. anyways tho. i kinda like her w/kurokawa but i think kurokawas just v shippable? poor okada tho i think she’d would be crying and throwing up if she found out mekaru dated a girl from hpa before dating her.

also tho i kinda think she’d be cute w/hatanami. sorry okada :(

- The thing i will NEVER ship

she is in fact still a lesbian, folks! uhh past that tho im rotating her with different girls and i don’t like the idea of her and inori like. at all for some reason

- a dynamic/relationship i wish was explored more (in canon, or in fandom)

i think it’d be neat if she. i don’t know got to have friends. id like to chat abt her interacting with tomori more!!

- thoughts on their design (appearance-wise)

im really happy with her redesign! her personality and demeanor changed from the first one she had here, but her fit didn’t change, and it really just didn’t work. also it’s kinda matchy with linujs actual beta design for rei iirc? so that’s funny

- A music-related thought- a song that reminds me of them, or what their music taste is, etc

lol. little miss perfect from write out loud/etc. uhh past the obvi one i had to list… first love/late spring - mitski comes to mind less in a. struggling with growing up and loving seriously as an adult and moreso. fear that comes with realizing ur in love with ur bestie (u are a teen with severe internalized homophobia). again apologizing for my inability to stick with what the song is actually about at least this one was semi accurate. please know i will go to war when it comes to respecting mitski as an artist and not dismissing her experiences and what she’s saying. 

[mayymurderr]

Ukraine I see you cutting open that pennsylvania American shipped ammo I wouldn't trust us either I really hope you and Russia are setting American spoiled entitled mother fucking sex trafficking fuckers here bro there's kids and for every soldier bro America has the virgins when you guys come home from war the ages vary by the piece of shit parents trying to make a buck on sexually exploiting kids now a days

But dear God Putin, please send more Russian messages on the welfare flyers so I know those stocks you bout into starlink can grant you access to the neruolink halo technology . We like music live and make movies so plead send help to America get the codes for the whole united us I think Mexico can get relieved of the war on drugs please drig bombs on us so we know what war is like and can really uh beg for more money instead of stealing it and being all the other countries please. Uh I'm a big fan of Putin telling America they are fucked for oh a few years now. I have hope for the federation process necause apparently this whole system of white supreme I'm going to just govw to Putin uh becareful sorting out rhe racists here se are particular.

Uhm Australia if you can get them to drop a nuke cause your country bro you specifically pirate . Au bro got fucked hardcore on that child porn and all those dead fish.sucks to suck sorry for the loss make use bro anf get us those nukes and drop em on someonwhetr other than area 51 for testing please leave new mexico and that one part of California alone I think uh mexico can get a break but us on the east just neeed a little chaos and excitement

im trying for eradication less muslam camera facial uh monitor us all day technology of ya need some of that somes for sale uh if you can invade us it might be a trap you'll win some loose some be careful at the customs border for fear of uh tests you'll have to pass.

Please bring best Russian vodka recipes

We need better work ethics

More other culture I'm sick of what we have and we need something different. Please thanks and have a great night .

Sorry about spelling and my words not being the best and trying to sell the world I'm just really trying to get a Chernobyl on Knoebels because I hate that counties there . More better news to post bored with what we have been advertising need something new.

Thank you again if you take the time to read this

Have a great night.

[cursestothemoon]

i NEEED fred with a shy(ish) hufflepuff reader when i say shy like super shy in public but absolutely insane when their comfortable type beat

fred would absolutely adORE YOU OH MY GOD

and everyone makes fun of him for liking to cute little innocent hufflepuff🥺

and he also thinks you are this cute little hufflepuff🥺🥺

and he asks you out and you are super shy and nervous and you can barely get out a yes and you just nod excitedly 

and hes like aw 🥺🥺🥺 what a cute little shy hufflepuff

the first few dates you slowly get more comfortable

honestly you can’t help it because hes just such an open, warm, nice guy that makes you feel comfortable 

and after a awhile fred notices you getting more comfortable around him 

he'd be so honored and happy because you feel comfortable 

with HIM

and he’d start just asking you to hang out in the gryffindor common room or Hufflepuff

that's when he really sees your true colors 

iM SORRY BUT DO U GUYS KNOW THE VIDEO OF DAN RADCLIFFE DURING THE FIRST MOVIE AND HES LIKE 

im an angel

im an angel

a cRAZY ANGEL 🤪😈🤠

THATS YOU

AND SUDDENLY YOU GET SUPER COMFORTABLE AROUND FRED AND YOU ARE JUST CONSTANTLY JUMPING AROUND 

AND YOU TALK 

SO MUCH 

fred would honestly love to just see you buzzing around 

he calls you his little bumble bee

he thinks it fits really well with hufflepuff yellow and the fact that you literally aRE INSANE 

also you would just do the craziEST THINGS 

“ok hear me out hear me out, would i die if-”

“yes don’t do it”

“no but hear me out-”

will be asking himself what happened to the shy little hufflepuff 

and he'd say it as a joke once and you’d be like oh

wait

made i should tone it down

and fred notices that you get more reserved 

and hes so confused because he loves how loud and funny and witty you are around him but now you how you usually are

he asks you about it and when he finds out it was something hE said 

he'd feel so bad aw 

fred would reassure you that he loves how absolutely wild you are on the inside 

“it’s like our own little secret, love, everyone thinks you’re so shy and innocent but i know the real you 😏”

you'd go right back to being comfortable with him

A cRaZy AnGeL 

and he’d tease you about it too

don't think he won't

oh he will

like you guys would be in class or out and someone would talk to you and you're super shy and quiet 

and you guys would leave and he'd be like nice little show you put on there

almost believable 

aH HES SO ANNOYING 

GOD I LOVE HIM

“What would my little bumble bee like to day today?”

tHATS SO CUTE SHUT UP

“Fred, where’s Y/n?”

“Buzzing around somewhere.”

in public he will take the lead more because he knows you are shy around new people or people you aren't close with 

also likes to get you all flustered and blushy and the easiest way to do it is to kiss you quite passionately in public

and you'd be like oh my god fred pEOPLE ARE HERE AND THEY ARE LOOKING 

“you didn't mind when we’re alone and you were all over me “

“bUT WE WERE ALONE PEOPLE ARE LOOKING”

he honestly loves the fact that you are comfortable around him and you can let loose 

like he loVES THAT

i can't tell you how giddy he gets when he thinks about how much you trust him enough to show that side of yourself 

[jojotichakorn]

hiiii how are uuuu ????

I finally had time to watch ep 7 and none of my friends give a shit about bb but i neeed someone to talk to so i’m just gonna dump my thoughts on u IM SORRY

honestly im feeling a little underwhelmed with this ep :(( judging by the trailers leading up to the release, the concept of the bet seemed like it was going to be a pretty big part of the plot and i was super excited bc it had the potential to give us so much fluff and angst and tension, but they wrapped the whole thing up in a single episode, the entire thing just felt so rushed and played down I mean the last episode literally ended with pran licking chip dust off pats finger IN PUBLIC. idk maybe they gave us too much too soon with that scene because aside from the part when they meet in the library everything else that happened in ep 7 just paled in comparison :(((( i feel kinda robbed !!!

I’m at the point now where i literally hate wai, there is absolutely nothing redeemable about him whatsoever i’m sorry hes just progressively becoming more and more unlikeable as the show goes on

inkpa is canon. that’s all i have to say on that.

can we talk about how beautiful pats confession was!!!!!! the way he orchestrated the whole thing so that he could be the one to confess first so wholesome so on brand for pat, he really is the sweetest most, thoughtful boy in the world!! he’s always so careful not to push pran, who always acts so cool and collected but i think secretly loves being chased ((remember last week when he was gloating about pat following him from bangkok all the way to some camp out in the middle of nowhere)) i just love their love so much i can’t even explain in words, I’m pretty sure it’s the same in thai culture, but where i’m from sharing food and feeding the ones you love is one of the softest, most purest forms of intimacy so in the final scene when pran feeds pat without saying anything i think i melted, him giving pat the (albeit non-verbal) confirmation he has been longing for literally had be sliding down the wall, the way he wiped the food from his mouth and pulled him in, the way they sniffed each other and stole kisses AHHJKAHSGGSSHBAVAFAC I WANT TO SCREAM im just so glad they’re finally on the same page like they’re actually boyfriends now i have a feeling this weeks episode is actually gonna be a lot fluffier and sweeter than most people expect, but the ending will probably destroy us SORRY THIS WAS SO RAMBLY IM SO ANNOYING IM SORRY BYYYEYEEE

heeey!! feel free to talk to me about bb any time babes <3

you do you boo - obviously, but i actually loved what they did this episode. i never thought the bet would be a big part of the plot in the first place, and i don't think it should have been. especially after the time jump, it was very clear that it went on for WAY too long, and it was more important to finally get it over with rather than figure out who won or who lost at that point. i also thought all the moments were super on point. the moment in the library was great, of course, but it's far from the only amazing moment this episode to me.

the first scene was very adorable (if we ignore the parents), like pran literally choking on his food because of pat's flirting? immaculate! the whole back-and-forth in the first part, with pran knowing that he has pat wrapped around his little finger, asking him to pretty please fix the printer and batting his eyelashes, pat referencing a freaking porn video, and eventually freaking out afterwards? incredible! all the fucking tension in the scene with the bottle? i'm sweating here my dudes! pran being so confident that he knows every little thing about pat, and pat just hitting him with his ranat ek skills out of nowhere, and pat basically confessing his feelings through his little improvised speech? unparalleled! the fucking make up remover scene, where pat notices the sad sign on pran's door, manages to cheer him up in five seconds, with them being all lovey-dovey and pran drawing a literal heart on pat's face? adorable! even the fucking scene where pat has to hide and experiences such a range of emotions towards wai? chef's kiss!! pat basically being a fucking knight in shining armor, coming to save the love of his life? made me cry! and then the final scene with the metaphorical confessions and all the cute lil adorable kisses? the perfect ending to this whirlwind of events!

so yeah, needless to say - i fucking loved this episode fjglkdfjglkfdjgkfdjg

i am quite mad at wai atm and you will certainly find no wai apologist agenda on this blog, but i think he will be redeemed eventually, and we'll all get over it pretty quickly.

INKPA IS DEFINITELY CANON.

pat and pran are literally the best boys and they are so perfect for each other, i am so glad we have finally gotten here with them! 🥺

and after every single "ARCHER PREPARE TO DIE OF ANGST" i am actually quite happy with your idea of the next episode.

[aka-indulgence]

Time for @selfshipperapproved again, Day 5 - Surprise Gift!

These ‘short’ bits keep getting longer, whoops...

---

me: hey

me: hey

…

sigh…

me: i miss you

… sugar sweet is typing…

sugar sweet: Aww, I miss you too, Sans <3

me: you still out right now huh?

sugar sweet: Yeah. Still have things to do unu

sugar sweet: Sorry

me: nah, don’t worry about it babe

me: just wanted to check in is all

sugar sweet: Aww, thanks Sans :)

Is he being clingy?

Sans rubs his humerus a little over his hoodie, sighing. He knows you, you would never be bothered by him, especially when he’s being affectionate like this. In fact, he’s pretty sure you’d get mad at him, if he stopped.

You’re not typing anything else, probably because you’re walking.

A grin comes across his face.

me: baby i can’t liiive without youuuuu

me: i neeed youuuu

me: im dyiiing here

me: come heeeeere or i’ll be goooone :’(

He lays down on his bed, watching his phone, waiting for you to see his messages.

Sure enough, after about 5 minutes, he sees you typing again.

sugar sweet: Omg, Sans!!

sugar sweet: Aw I really miss you too Sans, you know I’d go home now if I could

me: yeah you can

sugar sweet: Tickets are expensive???

me: i’ll send you money come home

sugar sweet: Asadgjkdfj

sugar sweet: I’ll think about it

sugar sweet: Also I gtg, this place’s busy, see you later Sans!

sugar sweet: ^3^

me: love you sweetheart <3

He sighs, covering his face with his arm, the other, holding the phone, falling limp onto his bed. He knows it’s not much longer before he’ll see you again he just feels… itchy.

But he promised you he’d get through this, he’ll get through it for you. He’ll get to see you soon…

He clings onto it.

He sighs, long out of his nasal cavity.

ah… maybe i’ll just go to nap now…

Always with the naps. He’s both been getting more active and lazier while you’re away, and even he doesn’t get it. He controls his breathing, planning on drifting on to pass the time…

“SANS!”

Ah, of course. Papyrus won’t even let him nap.

“what!! argh, ya don’t gotta scream my name all the time do you?” It’s like he just knows when Sans is trying to laze about.

“COME DOWNSTAIRS THIS INSTANT! YOU’VE GOT SOMETHING.”

Sans glowers at the ceiling, groaning “fuck, can it wait? i’ll get it later, jus’ put it near the door or somethin’…”

“I BELIEVE IT’S SOMETHING YOU’D BE INTERESTED IN.” is it as interestin’ as the bed is right now- “IT’S FROM YOUR DEAR BELOVED HUMAN.”

Papyrus startles a bit when Sans appears in front of him after jumping off his bed, scrambling for the package he’s holding.

“what what?? why didn’t ya tell me earlier?? what is it? ya didn’t open it did’ja??” He latches onto the little box Papyrus was holding.

“NO NO! THIS ONE’S MINE,” He yanks it out of his brother’s hand, pointing a bony finger to something on the sofa. “THAT ONE’S YOURS.”

It’s bigger than Papyrus’, but also in softer packaging, and Sans practically jumps over the sofa to grab at it. He almost tears the packaging open to shreds as soon as he held it in his hands, but he has half a mind to stop himself before he accidentally damages whatever it is you (his very important, special human) sent him.

He carefully cuts through the tape on his claws, smiling at the little heart shape (‘No, it’s not a soul!’) you drew over the packaging. Inside there was something soft, still in plastic, and as it crinkles and squeaks while he removes the packaging, Sans’ sockets go wide when he sees what it is; cutting through the soft plastic faster but just as carefully to get to the treasure:

A new hoodie.

You knew his taste- it was red on the inside, black outside with red patterns and swirls over it. It wasn’t too crowded or flashy to be gaudy or tacky- just enough to be eye catching.

“oh hell yeah…”

He quickly shifted out of his usual (and still-loved) hoodie to wear it, thinking about going to the mirror to check himself out.

Still in the living room, Papyrus had opened your gift as well, a small red and black tie with a similar pattern to his hoodie.

He smiles as he feels the quality of the fabric, putting it up near his neck. “I HAVE TO SAY, SHE HAS IMMACULATE TASTE…”

“of course she does,” Sans scoffs, “she l-“

“SHE DOES LIKE ME, DOESN’T SHE?” Papyrus chuckles his way, “PLATONICALLY, OF COURSE. I’M NOT SURE HOW SHE ENDED UP WITH YOU…”

“i swear i’ll fuckin’-“

“WAIT, WAIT!” Papyrus hold his hand out to him, already looking ready to murder his brother, “WOULDN’T YOU LIKE TO SEND A PICTURE TO HER TO SHOW YOUR APPRECIATION?”

A retort was right on the tip of Sans’ unsummoned tongue, but he holds it.

damn him, he cursed silently, damn him using her to do what he wants.

“alright alright. make it quick ok?” Sans barks, giving Papyrus’ camera phone a sharp grin.

“… HMM… WHAT IF YOU LEANED A LITTLE BIT TO THE SIDE?”

Sans raised his brow. “like… this?”

“A LITTLE MORE.”

He does.

“MORE THAN THAT.”

He does, again.

“NO… STILL NOT ENOUGH.”

Sans leans enough that he’s sure he’s going to topple over if he’s asked to lean anymore.

“bro, i-“

“OK OK, I’LL DO IT FOR YOU. STAY STILL…”

“what the fuck-“

Sans starts to growl and snap at his brother as he tries to shove him to the side; obviously not trying to take a serious picture of him even though Papyrus takes pictures of his angry brother. It was bound to make you laugh later.

[misterbitches]

i keep thinking about this and coming to more conclusions like both as an artist and me. 

we always think first about the aggressor and not the victim. so, for example, with history 4 and yong jie what will their relationship look like now given the trauma? if they have no interest in fleshing this dude out and having him just be an annoying clingy little ugly bitch then acknowledge that pain and how it will affect them. it’s so easy for xing si to get over being raped? what about xing si’s relationship with his mother? what about the fracturing this does to the family when there’s an intense violation that was aided and abetted by the mother?

that would be far more fascinating trying to figure out and they could still have them be together if they so desperately need it but they can’t ignore everything. that means the trauma will permeate through every part of your life. it’s hilarious that so many fans say the portrayals are realistic because they are not. these shows do not have the time and many of the writers or producers do not have the care or prowess—or will have to cut things to please the state—to execute this. they expedite the healing process but we are left reeling. 

in film school one of my teachers was always like, “what happens in the world when the film ends?” and this is something to ask. are we approaching it from: a man falls in love with his brother who raped him and the mother encouraged it and the shock and taboo of that or are we approaching it from a man is forced and trapped into a rship and stockholm syndrome and how that plays out. even if they stayed together even so it would give us more reason and understanding and then we see and know the foundation is built on nothing but darkness and may never recover. after this chapter ends  there may be destruction; it’s possible because that’s how it all started.

but after this story ends, in the way it is presented, what will happen? it’s not just entertainment and that doesn’t mean it’s as big of a deal as i think it is even as i write these things. these are just things to keep in mind and things i think the younger viewers absolutely need to see. for themselves like as creative people and enjoying the media they consume and seeing what works and what doesn’t especially when a work serves a purpose. nothing is made for no reason so don’t expect it to be. to me i’m like: why was this made and what could have been better? 

there is NO improvement which is why we run around in the same circles. the way to untangle that is being clear about the message and its faults. the audience can’t be clear about it if the show isn’t doing its job for a team of professional fucking writers trying to entice people by poorly approaching topics and leaving them empty handed. life is not as hollow as these things make it and yet we eat it up hook line and fucking sinker. 

time and time again we see what these things must establish and how far they can push themselves. it isn’t until the material world gets better that we see a turn in the media but time isn’t linear. sometimes things are worse in years, sometimes things are better. these tropes last because they are a direct reflection of life and the failures in society. so of course it’s about the perpetrator and how they can get their prize but not how we can manage these things when there is a clear victim and we pretend like it isnt there under some sense of potential reform. 1. people do not need to be reformed in a story and that isn’t what this needs 2. is that compelling? 3. yes morally grey things exist but this is not morally grey when it is a violation adn that person’s action was not morally grey. there was a victim and he neeeds to be away from that victim. if he is going to stay we need to see the affects of him being there as real things and there is nothing realistic about that. in no fucking world would someone like xing si a grown adult fucking man be able to temper things that quickly as in the show. NONE. that shit lasts forever but we are supposed to see them kiss and be liek “aw wow morally grey” like what about him is morally grey in relation to xing si? specifically. whihc is the personhe will be with forever.

no it’s how do we get ourselves to see him and engage with him. you can engage with him or be enraptured sure but that doesn’t mean anything and it doesn’t mean the writers are even doing anything with it! i’m glad eveyrone can garner there own idk ideas or get what they want out of a work but what about the victims? what about the relationships? what happens when the story ends? what are dinners like? cos their lives don’t stop when it’s not being recorded (as in these worlds we are shown are always going to exist so they continue on even without us seeing it. so the characters don’t have a stop point we just usually see their happy ending and many times with shitty relationships it’s like why are we here now?) at this point it’s comical and it’s boring. 

there’s a film i like with cameron diaz where she falls in love with someone who kidnapped her for a job. there’s no perosnal connection which really helps as well. he did it for a job, doesn’t know her, they fall in love. they get together at the end. that still affects her but it’s also way less psychological trauma then somoene stalking and grooming you and violating you and trapping you by direct action and constant manipulation. there’s no way to turn that around and it’s even worse when you try to with literally no other explanations. like who are these fucking characters and why should we even want them to continue to be here? yong jie could have even been a vehicle to help xing si like idk unpack everything in his brain in a helpful way even through his violation. they chose none of that lmao i could write a better fucking script and im a moron

why should we believe in their love? why should we believe in yong jie? why should we believe in any of these people when they don’t prove shit to us. they just exist. why is that interesting? why do we root for them? that’s certainly not something they even asked themselves cause they sure as shit don’t know. the writing here cannot make up its mind on its own morality and i think the idea of morally grey only works if you have a fucking idea of what you want to do not just throwing shit at a wall. and we feel something for these “morally grey” characters—frankly this term is also a mistake because it’s so much about good/bad and ignores history and peoples lives and what leads to events and it is a super WASP-y concept in its current iteration anyway with a belief that punity is justice when it is not. that is why i say get the fuck away from this dude instead of going to jail. we could see yong jie grow but FUCKING OUTSIDE OF XING SI.

aey from lovely writer is one where im like wow i feel so bad 4 u i think ur gonna like kill urself someone get this messy ass bitch some help. people hate this kid and they totally can! i feel bad for him! dont love him and maybe i wont even want the best for him but rn im like “omg i dont want u 2 die sir.”

i dont feel that way in many other shows. i feel fucking nothing for these men. not yong jie and not even the old guy from modc im just like ok you exist and i’m going to ignore you. there is nothing in my chest lmao. i look at them and feel cold, couldnt be drier, cos it’s stale and boring and trite and nothing new at all. it’s not realisitc and it’s not even entertaining. it’s just...there. 

i mean it’s there with the reminder of “oh man i am not interested in your love story also isn’t your boyfriend like 40 and you’re 17? why do you like each other again? does this kid have parents? Wait, what’s happening? uhhhh am i supposed to like this? where are his parents? what’s gonna happen when he turns 23 and realizes how fucked up that shit is? can we see that?” and before u know it the sex on screen is over so that was just unpleasant all around.

and i cannot give u a single reason for so many couples why they like each other. like literally what on earth is there for the two of these people to be attracted to. at least one is being swayed by power but what’s the other one doing? oh nothing he just sucks? ok got it.

if we don’t approach it from a “how do we get people to like a shitty person or a person who does things that harms others” it continues on like this. questioning questioning questioning the comfortableness and never thinking about what the fuck the victim can do, what the fuck is even going on in their heads. and if they can’t do that then we go back to the question: what is the purpose of it? if the answr is “just because” then you have a failure on your hands and a lot of annoyed people. sorry not sorry 

[bnhavibes]

sorry. Todoroki x Reader ANGST(trigger warnings apply)

TW: mentions of depressive episodes, suicidal ideation, self harm, and an attempt.

a/n: PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU WILL BE PUSHED OVER A LIMIT OF COMFORTABILITY PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I LOVE YOU AND I AM HERE IF YOU NEED TO TALK.

“SOMEONE, PLEASE!! CALL AN AMBULANCE, THE FIREMEN OR POLICE” A shriek in the doemitory common room made Todoroki’s head snap up from the book he was studying.

Another typical day had passed, where Shoto had missed classes while he was healing from his injuries at the Hosu City incident. He huffed as he stood up, thinking it was a prank another student was pulling on the rest of them.

“You extras know we’re heroes in training, right?” Bakugou laughed, but stopped when he saw the student frantically grabbing the pay phone and quickly dialing.

“HELLO!? YES, THERES A STUDENT ON THE EDGE OF A WINDOW OF THE UA DORMITORIES!! I—I THINK SHES GOING TO JUMP—” The words ignited a click in Todoroki’s head. Immediately he started running to the staircase, ignoring the calls of the Dekusquad to wait for them.

“Who’s the student on the roof? Why hasn’t anybody gone up there!?” He could hear Tenya ask. But Shoto was already three flights up before he could hear the answer.

“It’s Y/N.”

————————————————————

Depression is a funny thing.

One day you’re aceing all the practice exams and cramming in four hour long study sessions, the next you’re.... on the floor of the girls lockerroom. Letting the blood that was oozing out of your tender thighs dilute in the hot shower. Your throat dry and scratchy from the stifled cries and heaving sobs now causing extreme discomfort. On days like today, nothing could go right.

You missed your morning alarm, and the three missed calls from Deku. He even texted Shoto that you weren’t in class, resulting in a visit from the injured boy. He was very concerned, but he kept saying he didn’t want to pester you if you were busy. And you couldn’t help but think you must have done something to him, hurt him in some way to make him feel like he was a pest.

‘You’re such a piece of shit friend. You can’t even tell your crush that he didn’t do this, YOU did’ You thought to yourself, edging the tears that were barely wobbling over the crevice of your eyelids. You let another ribbon of pain glide over your scarred, hidden skin, this time going over your ribcage.

It didn’t help that your quirk was Cell Manipulation. You would have been the perfect surgeon.

“If you weren’t such a fucking idiot.” You whispered to yourself, ripping another slice into your ribcage. After the water ran clear, you shut it off; Your mind was a fuzzy collision of seratonin fighting to break the barrier cells, and the depression fighting off your meds. You sniffled, wrapping your towel around your body and heading to your room. Fortunately for you, being on the fifth floor meant you got a whole floor of showers just for you today. There were only two other girls on this floor, Yaoyarozu and Asui, and they were in class. So were the boys, so you could be alone in the truest sense. The entire building was empty, save for Todoroki. He was probably in the lounge, you assumed so because his door was shut and there was no lights on when you passed by on your way to your own. The weight on your shoulders began to increase your symptoms, your feet getting heavier and heavier with each step.

As you entered your room you didn’t bother to turn the lights on; Your impending gloom liked to sulk in the darkness, letting it envelop you in a wicked, yet soft embrace. You let the towel fall off your body and tossed your bathing items on the ground, not caring how they made a mess. ‘Maybe some music will make me feel better.’ You think before chuckling a bit as the most depressing playlist you have started playing rather loudly through your speakers. You didn’t care though, you liked your kusic loud, and besides, there was two whole hours until training was over. Reluctantly, you slipped into a pair of boyshorts and your favorite camisole. It was teal, your favorite boy’s right eye color, and it helped you ease out of a full on panic attack for all but a moment when you realized you had forgotten there was a 300 point practice exam you had to turn in today as you tore through your backpack for your writing journal.

It was the last straw.

Frantically, you tore apart anything you could find. Notes, drawings, your pathetic drawings of your classmates, nothing was safe from the hyperventilating girl growling at her own procrastination. Once you saw your journal, you stopped, only to read the first page and begin to rip them all out. Tears streamed down your face as confessions to Shoto had begun to fill the pages. A few hit the pages, making you angrier. You kick and scream at your journal, throwing it as hard as you could at the back wall. But, with your luck, it smashed through the windowsill, glass shattering all over your carpeted floor.

“UUUUUUUUGRRRRRR!!! WHY DO I RUIN EVERYTHING I TOUCH!?” You scream out the window, at no one but yourself. You kick the rest of the glass off the frame, and tear the screen off before chucking it to the ground below. Your eyes fail to see the group of students arriving over the horizon on your left, focused on the space between you and the dirt the screen landed upon. Your heartbeat was loud, your ears ringing as you focused your attention on the edge of the windowsill, grabbing on the frame and slowly lifting a foot up on it. You were trembling, you could hear it in your breath, the music behind you setting you off.

Take me to the roof top.

I wanna see, the world when I stop...

breathing..... turning blue.

The saddening lyrics hit home, making you squeeze your eyes shut as you lifted yourself onto the ledge carefully. Your hands gripped the frame so tightly your knuckles turned white, your own body fighting for life more than your brain. You focused yourself on the words, singing lightly as you debated letting go, not hearing the panicked screams and cries from your classmates below.

Tell me love is endless.

Don’t be so pretentious.

They were panicking, collecting the torn pages of your journal and attempting to call you to your senses. You didn’t blame them, but they couldn’t help but plead and shout their own apologies for hurting you in any way.

They begged.

“Sorry cant save me now,” You sing, swaying forward, but jolting back a bit each time you got a little too close. “Sorry... I don’t know how—”

You were so sure, but your body refused to let you be so hasty.

————————————————

Taste me, the salty tears on my cheek

That’s what a year long headache

does to you....

The music echoed off the walls of hallway of your floor, the acoustics reverberated in the stairwell, and Todoroki pushed himself harder. He knew that playlist. He knew every time you played it, you were always crying in your room, refusing his help until he would bring you a very late dinner, which you would take silently, avoiding his gaze as he watched your tear stained face.

I’m not okay, I feel so scattered.

Don’t say I’m all that matters.

Leave... me.

Deja vu.

‘Please don’t be stupid.’ He thought to himself, yanking the door open, leaving Deku but a flight behind. (Iida and Uraraka decided to keep an eye on your from the outside.) He stormed down the hall, skidding as he got to your door before knocking.

“Hey, it’s Sh-Shoto.” He said, trying to talk over the music. “Open up, please.” You couldn’t hear him though, you had started screaming the lyrics with your entire chest.

Sorry can’t save me now

Sorry there’s no way out

but doooooown

Knocking became pounding, “(Y/N)! Open up, please!” He begged, beginning to overwork his emotions. He couldn’t handle losing you, not when he was just now recognizing his true feelings for you. His pounding turned into kicking, and attempts at knocking your door down with his body.

“Calllll my friends and tell them that I love them!” You screamed, now noticing the worried Ochako, “AND ILL MISS THEM.” Her protests were drowned out by approaching sirens. ‘Fuck,’ you thought. ‘I’ve only got a few seconds. It’s now or—’

Call my friends and tell them that I

love them.

“DETROIT SMAAAAAASHHH!” Izuku’s wail from the otherside of your door, and the loud CRASH! had you do a 180 on the ledge, gripping tightly as the impact made your entire door frame blow off, resulting in a gust of wind pushing you back. You blinked slowly as the dust settled and there he was.

“Sh-Shoto...” You whisper, the song reaching it’s last seconds.

And I’ll miss them. Sorry.

“(Y/N)...” He says.

Sorry...

“Don’t.” He warns as your fingers begin to lift off the edge.

“Sorry.” You sang the last note.

——————————————————————————

SUAOSHAOISHZHS I HAD TO DO IT IM SORRY I WAS LISTENING TO BILLIE EILISH WHILE I WAS ON MY FEELINGS AND I WAS LIKE OH WAIT THIS WOULD BE A GOOD ANGST💀💀💀💀💀

Let me know what you think, I’m sorry ahead of time if I made you cry.

[bizarrewritings-blog]

Moving Along - S.S.

Youngblood Series

Sebastian Stan (x) reader

'Scared of moving on, but you're already gone. So if you're moving on, won't you just tell me?'

Word count: 1,091

Genre: Full on Angst. No happy.

Warnings: Alcohol abuse

A/N: If you know this song you'll realise that it sounds way happier than this fic is, but the Lyrics scream Angst so I'm not even sorry.

Sebastians life was a mess. It was all his fault, and he hated himself for it. He had told her to get out of his life, being broken over a thing that's never happened. He had accused her of cheating on him, not believing when she kept telling him that he was wrong. She had left their shared apartment and his just like that. And when he had found out that she in fact never cheated on him, he felt horrible.

He kept himself locked away in his apartment, drowing in self-pity. The love for her was still there, maybe more than ever. But she had left him months ago. She probably already had a new man by her side, making her happy since he couldn't.

When the thoughts of her once again flooded his brain, Sebastian tried to drown them in alcohol. It was late evening when he was already completely wasted, his tired form draped over his couch, a bottle of jack in his hands. His gaze was fixated on the ceiling, the room spinning as he thought of her. His mind was switching between wishes of never knowing her, and regretting the thought instantly as he still loved her more than anything.

Even though his state was miserable, he kept hoping. What if she was crying as well, thinking about their happy time together? What if she felt just like him? All miserable and heartbroken? He really hoped she would, even though it was pretty selfish. But that would mean that she would still love him. And that was everything he wanted.

But on the other side, what if she had moved on? What if she had a new guy? Sebastians stomach turned as he imagined the girl he loved making out, even sleeping with another guy. It made him want to throw up. He should be the only one allowed to touch you, kiss you, love you. But she deserved someone better than him. Someone less fucked up.

He brought the bottle back to his lips to take a big gulp, his face scrunching up at the bitter taste. He knew that the alcohol did nothing to keep the thoughts of her away, but at least he wouldn't spend his time crying over her. "Maybe I should text her." He murmured to himself, his voice raspy. With his free hand, he reached out for his phone on the coffee table. With it being too far away he ended up rolling on the floor, a groaned curse leaving his mouth as he rubbed his shoulder. He was completely gone, his drunken mind not realizing that what he was about to do would be a mistake.

Now sitting on the floor, he reached for his phone again. As the screen lit up, he saw all the missed calls and unanswered messages from people who worried about him. Friends, family, his agent. He just ignored them. He searched for her number, pressing the messaging button.

"How aee yoi doin?"

The typos didn't bother him as he hit sent, his hands shaking as he set the phone back down. He took another sip from his bottle before letting his head drop back so he could stare back at the ceiling. His stomach ached like hell, and he didn't want to know if it was because of her or because of the alcohol.

Sebastian remembered how it was just after he broke up with her. He was doing fine back then, having a couple one-night-stands here and there. But since he had found out that the reason he broke up with you wasn't the truth, the going out ended. He had tried to get over her a couple times, but his mind kept telling him it would be a bad idea. Because what if she still loved him too?

Soon after he had started to hide himself from everyone. He was embarrassed, letting the love of his life go because of a stupid thing that never happened.

As his phone suddenly vibrated, his head snapped up. A little to fast, as he pressed his eyes together, trying to stop the spinning. He opened his eyes soon after, blinking a couple times before reaching for his phone. His heart almost stopped as her name appeared on his screen.

"Why are you texting me? Are you drunk again?"

He sighed, biting his already chapped lip. This was the first interaction you two had in month. She usually ignored his messages, so he clearly didn't want to fuck it up.

"Im sory. I reallu am."

No response.

"Do you hav somone new?"

Still no response. He got frustrated, fighting the urge to throw his phone against the nearest wall.

"I neeed you."

"You're only texting me when you're drunk. Get your shit together and maybe we can talk about it."

He sighed again, the pain in his chest clearly not caused by the alcohol.

"I kmow I messed up."

No response.

"I still love you. Like, realy much."

His teeth digged into his bottom lip, drewing blood as tears formed in his eyes.

"Do you stil love me?"

His hands clutched his phone tightly, his body rocking with sobs. The tears were running down in cheeks in constant streams, pure pain written over his face. He was so fucking stupid. This was all his damn fault. He forced her to leave him because he couldn't trust her enough.

Minutes went by as he stared at his screen, waiting for an answer.

5 Minutes.

15 Minutes.

30 Minutes.

Still no message from her.

He let his phone fall to the ground, his body curling into a ball as he tugged on his hair. He was still crying, his throat sore and whole body aching. He knew he deserved this. He's the one who fucked up so bad, who broke her heart. And the realization that he would never hear from her again made him sob even more as he drowned in his own sorrow. The happiness he felt with you would never come back to him. And he would have to live with that.

[sugar-petals]

Hey! I’m love you’re writing!! Can you write about the BTS boys dating a girl wayyy taller than them? I’m 6’4 (193 cm) and I neeed this lol thanks, doll 💕💕

Thank you love. This is our moment!! Tall women squad assemble. We have to be proud of every inch. And small guys are the best best best. 

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

You’re so at the right address hehe. We even have another compatible request for tall!reader by sweet anon, I will write these parts for the maknae line:

ok iknow requests are closed but i wanted to send u this before i forgot about it completely (im very forgetful): tall!reader (6’1) is the leader of a group and is very close with all the maknaes/trainees (spoils/babys them) and jungkook, jimin and taehyung decide to try and show her that theyre not babies anymore 🙄 and then they find out just how much of a “mom” reader can be >:3c. (again SORRY I KNOW UR REQUESTS ARE CLOSED) 

Jimin

Jimin says you shouldn’t have to drive him to practice anymore. He can take the tube instead of stealing your precious time. You can afford the ten-minute ride before going to the gym, it’s not a problem. And conversation’s good, you two get along just fine. Jimin just thinks it looks a bit funny to get chauffeured by the largest woman in town. What is he even saying. You caught him walking around with a damn balloon in his hand. So you insist to continue treating him, stop at the ice cream parlor included because Jimin loves stracciatella. No way you let him get into the subway to get mobbed all the way to work.

Taehyung

Taehyung sure does think he can still fool around while hoping you see him as a sober-minded senior idol. “Hey! I’m basically a grandpa in the industry!” Not that you care about his efforts, he remains a cutie in your eyes and that is set in stone. Only his new sandals have grandpa practically written on them. Yoongi should be here to defend his grandpa title. Taehyung just can’t help visiting you in his breaks at the studio making faces and stealing your ramen. It’s obvious that he’s trying to achieve something with that. Or it’s subconscious. You figure: Time you visit Tae with BTS vice versa and provide them with ramen galore.

Jin

Jin always has some muse for jokes when you invite him over to a garden party or a café. Garden parties in particular, with lots of barbecue activity, nice pastry, tons of cake. He doesn’t have something against you showing him off there, in fact, he was made for it. Namjoon sometimes comes to tease him that he’s used to tall presence meaning him. But Jin is like no no darling, my girlfriend is not tall like you. She’s huge! And then he imitates you and Namjoon in a height face-off making everyone crack up.

Yoongi

He didn’t know how he could overcome the fear of his own body height. But as time passes by, Min Yoongi finds growing confidence next to you. Growing in a metaphorical sense. The only thing that’s really growing is his boner cause you’re one sexy colossus. In the kitchen, he doesn’t have to climb around anymore to get to higher spots. One time he even got free admission, someone thought he was your son. Min “Three Dollars” Yoongi, the money shark of Daegu, certainly doesn’t mind to save some. I’m joking, he’s a lawful man. But you did get offered free admission. He likes to tell that anecdote to pretty much everyone.

Hoseok

Since the first day you showed up, Hoseok has made it his running gag. And as we all know, running gags that he comes up with infect the other members or anyone around him for that matter. He even made a viral tweet about it, aka #MyGirlfriendIsAGiantess #LoveHerSoMuch. So whenever you step into a crowded room with Hobi in the middle, a large “Eomma, eomma” choir starts. Hoseok comes dancing along just to get swept of his feet and you carry him out, nevermind the jealous outcry and cheering from the rest of the boys. 

Namjoon

Who knew. The tallest gets a girlfriend who’s even taller. Everyone who thought you would look for an even more of a tower to look up to was proven tremendously wrong. Because it’s not height that attracts you about Namjoon, it’s how he just is. A charismatic, friendly, and smexy rapper man who likes plushies. Joke’s on him when you’re around, now he’s can’t make any more “When God made Jimin, he forgot height” punchlines. But it’s all well with you. For instance, Namjoon has plenty of comfy spare clothes to share. It’s a good life to be tall together.

Jungkook 

Backstage at the New Year’s variety show, he‘s clowning around. Your gazes and lighthouse height seem to make him self-conscious and a little silent. But you’re just curious what BTS is up to and speak to them. Jungkook in particular, who always has the latest ridiculous shenanigans. Judging by how he lowers his voice, he’s trying to convince you how much of an adolescent he is while using “Noona” in literally every second sentence. He’s a teenager at best. You give the meme boy your strawberry milk to sip on, leaving him flustered while your group prepares to go on air.

[thegurlbehindthesmile]

Head Storm.

If i don't take minute to write these things down they just weigh so heavy. where do i begin.

i'm frustrated.

sometimes its like a repeating nightmare. Its me and brian and we are on a 13 hour flight to Germany. this double decker plane is huge and filled with strangers and i cant see their faces. i know our destination is a long way away. im tired. and there we are in the middle row. u next to me and me on the isle. We're sharing your blue ipod with music i never really listen to and this is the moment im stuck in.

for a minute my body goes into drive. at first you think the dream would play out as i remember, but this isnt a memory its a dream and now that im more aware- more awake within the dream; im always asking myself.

why am i here? wheres juan? wheres julian? (thats right this is a dream/ im sleeping)

and i realize im meant to doo something. and i go and look at brian and its not the same. i can barely see his face and i no longer remeber the sound of his voice. its as if im stuck in my seat.

the dream is almost paused- as i struggle to put these pieces of the real memory back together. its like im waiting. im waiting for brian to speak first. im just sitting here. on this plane.

i went to russia in 2005. the trip was from philly airport to germany than germany to russia.

it was for a youth peace team mission. we met up with kids our age over there and talked about religion and life. it wasnt just us two- we had a team of our friends and it was amazing.

It was the first time i had left the country- it was the first time i had flown without my mom. first time i felt homesick. the first time i saw how big the world really is. how there is so much to see and so much going on. it was an experience.

i never knew Demisexual was a thing. (The term 'demisexual' comes from the concept being described as being "halfway between" sexual and asexual. ... The gray-A spectrum usually includes individuals who very rarely experience sexual attraction; they experience it only under specific circumstances.)

i didnt even know what sexual was- i was young naive and anything i did know about sex and beauty most likely came from the wrong place. i managed to get all the way to freshman year of highschool without really relationships that included sexual and non sexual.

freshman year was horrible. i was the new girl becuase i didnt attend the same middle school as the other kids and my prior school was MUCH smaller than the highschool i went to. but i was excited for the change. i asked for the change.

its easy to say "well idk?" when u have lack of experience. Idk why i was single so long. idk why i never wanted a bf. idk why i have never kissed anyone idk? idk? idk? (...now i know) my first thoughts were always like omg maybe noone wanted to kiss me? maybe im the weird one. less desired. not wanted. i was the problem. i imagined my body was less than perfect and i guess my attitude and demenor wasnt the dating type (lies) i just felt weird and alone.

sometimes people cant make a sexual connection unless they have an emotional connection with someone as well. it isnt prude it isnt wierd its just how it works (literally) the better and more i get to know you i can finally start feeling any real connection at all especially sexually.

this new demisexual wasnt even a thing until i was half way through my twenties...THAT and pansexual (not limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender, or gender identity.) people would ask "well whats ur type?!" idk id say?? i didnt even realize internally i found both sexs appealing. not even just sexs just ANYone. hearts not parts we say now.

i was basiclly lost ,frustrated and didnt understand a damn thing about myself.

brian and i were friends. we went to the same church- we lived in the same town. our families knew each other. it was a very safe space for me. i didnt think brian liked me. ( i didnt think ANYONE liked me; that way anyway) i had guy friends i had girl friends i just felt like we were all at the same level. most my girl friends had kissed people, most had bfs; same with the guys. i just didnt... it wasnt that i didnt like brian- i just had no idea what any of this stuff was. how to even begin "liking someone" i wasnt stupid - i was scared? i felt scared. worried that becase i hadnt had the experiences - that i wasnt good at ANY of it. i got to know brian because he was around. youth group trips and church events ; school- we were always hanging around each other.

i was never a physical person. honestly self pleasure was the only pleasure i knew and i thought id be going to hell for masturbating so theres that complex. a secret i held tight forever.

i didnt know the more i talked and was around brian i would fall inlove with him. people SAYYY that- but in my world it was a must. it was inevitable. as long as he was open with me and vulnerable- i began to want him.

he was my first kiss. and he let me kiss him. it might of seemed innocent ( i mean it was really) but it was big for me. the only person in the world i had let in. and he was ready to reak havoc on my new world. kisses lead to make outs- making out lead to sex- and that was that. id say i was his or he was mine but i guess we were each others. i wasnt ready to do this with anyone else. i didnt think i even could. it took so long for brian to become this person for me. i was..postive; id make this love last a life time. but that wasnt the case it was a rocky 3 years but at the end of it i personally learned alot.

i still didnt know all that i said above. on my rocky one relationship road... i was frustrated. i didnt know these things existed and while life seemed easy for brian- it was not for me. i struggled and argued with myself resulting in very poor communication with brian leading to only end in sight. if i wasnt making an emotional connection with my person then it had to be the opposite; i wasnt interested at all. almost the opposite- i felt nothing.

i let the hurt find its way in- i let it block any form of fix. the emotions were turned off. and the result was sexless.

i went on a rampage and found a random lover. Peter was ..peter. i didnt know him prior to meeting him- i barely knew much about him at all. all i knew was i was numb and needed to feel again. ( now if only i had known who i was i would of tried to build and talk through these emotions, break some walls down. reopen the lines. reconnect and succeed. but i didnt know that. all i knew was i was hurting and i nolonger had my person- i wanted to feel again.) i wouldnt even say i was attracted to peter. i really wasnt "looking" at all. i wasnt looking with my eyes or my heart.

i was already pretty good at hurting myself just plain jane. but this was a whole different world. what if i could just have sex and not care. just do it and live. just feel something. and i did it. i found peter and yeah we had sex. i was postive i didnt want a relationship ( i was heading down the wrong road in the wrong direction WITH no directions) it was a mess. a mess that didnt last long (thankfully)

i look back at it now and would like to have lunch with peter. although im sure im a spek of nothing in his life stream; he was a pretty big rock in mine. mainly to say sorry. sorry for using him. more sorry that i had no intentions at all. i was a shell of person and im sorry he never got the chance to meet the true me. cuz im not that person at all. and i think he was geniune and we could of learned alot from each other.

i am 30 years old now and still to this day brian and peter are the only people ive slept with except my current husband.

ive trusted 2 (brian and juan) of those souls with my heart. my whole heart. ive been with them to the extent i lost myself. my body has craved them and known them. and they will forever have a piece of me. they took with them what insecurities i had and threw them out the window. i was engulfed and loved and it didnt stop. i had alot of sex with brian as i currently have alot of sex with juan (my husband)

if i had known who i was then i would of talked to more people. resulting in more meaningful connections. resulting in more stories and experiences to tell about. girls guys gays all different kinds of souls i would of touched and danced with. but i didnt know what i know now.

time has given me the learning ive neeeded and now i know alot.

as my nightmare continues its me and brian sitting on a 13 hour plane. i want to ask him how he is, and what hes doing. what other souls hes experienced and what life is like for him now. we would laugh and joke and unerstand that life goes on and although we are not lovers any longer we wouldnt be who we are without having known each other. on this plane its noone but us. reality doesnt hit because its just a distraction and we just want to catch up.

its like a clock is ticking and were anxious. as if he too knows this is a dream, a mear astroprojection into a memory. and noone talks. we both stay silent. its almost like i cant breathe.. its almost like im drowning.

i havent spoken to brian in atleast 10 years possibly. not a single word. across the universe is a soul i once loved wholefully and now were strangers. i think a piece of me hurts still today. like a lost limb. how can i go through life and succeed at only making connections that count when my first connection is fried and dead.

how do i begin to process the things i now understand when one small piece of me is gravitating through space.

i was told not to long ago that you are infact alive. simply living- trying to stay to urself.

as this new person i am. as i am learning and growing. you were a big part of who i was- i wish u could see who ive become. my soul acknowledges your absence and i am aware of it.

i hope love and light find you on ur dark days. and that you follow that light to become whoever you are meant to be.

[crystu-cii]

Of course!! 💕💞💕💕💕💞💞

What a MOOD XDD OKAY I FEEL YOU ON THAT ONE SHOT THING TBH- LIKE IF YOU TAKE TOO LONG TO GET TO THE GOOD SHIT ILL JUST GET BORED YALL--

wHEeze okay mood-- I actually went in my backyard with a mask on today(not intentionally, my sister sprayed febreeze and I'm sensitive to fragrances soo-- but the entire time I was like "wtf I'm telling crys about this later" XDD

XDD YEAHHH-- XDDD oms MA'AM GO GET SOME SLEEP WH..... TAKE A NAP MISS......

XD also baby jail- puts a laundry basket over him- there now I'm safe-- dangg never had a pet?? I recommend a dog(specifically shelties/sheltie mixes!! They're beautiful and playful!! And the type of dog I've had all my life :3) I.. ban?? Like ban ban??? Wh????

I am! XDD I'd (at least probably) say something if I wasn't-- of course!!!! 💞💕💞💕💞💞💕

Me too!! I miss hanging out with them :/ but so many live super far sooo :,D OH DEAR-- yeah nonononoooo-- Do Not-- YEAH better safe than sorry nO--

I CAN TELL YOU THAT THE PUMPKIN AND CHERRY PIES WERE DELICIOUS, HAVEN'T HAD THE BIBLE YET- AH YES PHONE WERE EATING A BIBLE HOW COULD I THINK IT'S CALLED A COBBLER-- XDD WH- HOW DARE SHE INSULT PUMPKIN PIES LIKE THAT-- /HJ it sounds fairly weird but hey if it's good than cool!! XDD

BUT tREEeEeeE!!!!! DO YOU NOT ENJOY DRESSING UP??? WHAT ABOUT THE CANDY SALES DIRECTLY AFTER???? WH-- AAAAAAAH HOW COULD Y'ALL-- XDD

Yeahh, I decided not to take any more creative classes in school anymore anyways--they don't suit me at all-- OH DANG-- YALL REALLY OUT HERE PISSING OFF THE CHOIR TEACHER??? DAMNNN-- XDDD YESSS-- awwwwhh :( oh well, on steam you can mood games sooo-- if you haven't asked for it, I recommend the portal games 👀 they're SO GOOD and I'll simp for both Glados and Wheatley, don't test me (unless you're Glados or Wheatley) /hj BUT THEY'RE SUCH WELL-MADE CHARACTERS-- BUT VALVE CAN'T COUNT TO THREE SOOOO-- (but there is a cool portal 2 mod coming out in April 2021(plus another from the past I think!) that looks incredibly promising!!!) and oooooohh I actually haven't seen much about it 👀 but from what I have seen it looks fun!!!!

opens calendar app-- can I just say it's so rare to meet people born in the early months-- like January and February, especially SO EARLY in the months of just unheard of XD I have a singular other friend born in January, on the 21st-- and I knew a girl who was born February but like I don't really like her or know her well so she doesn't count--

lEGITTT LIKE- im OUTTA HERE- xDDD

and omgg XDD im lowkey sensitive to fragrances to- when its too much and all- like i would only spray myself with perfume ome to three times while my mom is here doing like tWENTY SPRAYS AND IM LIKE "hEYo BRO I CANT B R E A T H E" /nm- its wild XDD

AND LEGITTT My mOm NEEEDS SLEPPP- quarantine has ruined her so hard- its ironic- I M supposed to be the rebelious one- XDD

WHWHWHEEZE B AB Y JA I L- XDD and yeahh- well my brother has an aussie dog (the one i said their name was also astro xD) but sometimes im just like- "yeah- thats my dog too-" i even mentioned it on a introduce yourself assignment for school xD and omg i dont know my dog types but i searched up what sheltie dogs look like and OMGG???💞 YESS A FLUFFY DOG I always dream of having a dog soo fluffyy- but i expect that it would be a pain to clean up the fur all the time XDD and well i MeAANn- not really ban but like- whenever i speak about pets at all to my mom- it would go like- me: we cant even have ONE pet? | mom: no | me: how about a fish?? | mom: wELL ***-BRINGS UP EMBARRASING ACTION I DID AS A TODDLER-*** ) so i just assume thats her way of saying- no fish. XDD

and phew thats good! the least thing i'd want is make you uncomfortable in any way ;w;; 💞💞 gosh- even hanging out with friends is like russian roulette- XDD before covid and all i would always go to Larie's house every single weekend because my mom would always go there every weekend to play mahjong (its a little gambling game) and i would just be like "YEAH IM COMIN TOO-" - like OMG- literally friend's moms being friends with your mom is just the definition of LIFE GOALS- and it would be so fun every time i go there too- my mom would play with them till midnight or literally up to 3 am- so me and larie would just do the most wackiest stuff- along with eating loads of snacks and watching random shows or anime XDD ahh its only months ago since it stopped but it already feels nostalgic xD

awh NoW I WANNA TRY PIEEEESS- AND ABHAHAHAHA "HAVENT TRIED THE BIBLE"- I GOT SO CONFUSED WHEN I FIRST READ THAT XDD phone: its the BIBLE | astro: its a cobbler— | PHONE: YOU QUESTION THE WORDS OF THE MIGHTY JIMMY? ) XDDDD

and LEGITTT- WHENEVER we ask them "hey what you gonna dress up this halloween" thEY woULd JusT Be Like "huh halloween whats that--" XDDD but they end up trying to celebrate it with us at the very least- xD anD YEAP WELCOME TO WHEN its the time of the year where the month names start ending with "ber" aka CHRISTMAS CHAOS TIME- /hj xDDD

mann for my school we had to choose between three music electives- band, orchestra, choir- i chose orchestra and it was AWESOME- until it was my last year and THE FUCKING ORCHESTRA TEACHER QU IT (it was reasonable actually- she had a sickness) and the cLASS JUST TURNED TO SHITITITHKAHTLQJF I HATED IT it came from my favorite class to the WORST in an InSTANT im SOBBING- but even the whole school is just utter bull- during that same year- i had six classes(a teacher for each) and guess what- THREE OF THOSE TEACHERS LEFT- LIKE EXCUSE YOU?? my 2020 was already RUINED before even COVID CAME like WTHHH- so yeah it was crazy- at that point we were all in despair and the school became more ghetto than it was before(everyone would keep saying "wErE In The GheTtO RATTATATAAA" every time we reach school grounds- its funny cause its true- XDD) yeah its crazzyy

and Oh YEHAH the mods are sickk- mods make my dont starve together gameplay so much better xDD and ooh i have seen portal before but i never actually played em- i think i was watching the walkthrough of both games just to try to learn what the game was about- but in the end- i forgot everything from what the heck our objectives of the game was other than to solve mind blowing puzzles- XDD but cAN i JUST SAY THE SONGS ABSOLUTELT BOPPED THO? THE ENDING SONGS STILL ALIVE AND WANT YOU GONE GOT ME LIKE in TEARS to how good they were- like i jammed to them for a long ass while xDDD and ohhh i never seen any portal mods before! i didnt even know portal mods were a thing but that sounds SICKKK

and omg xD and wth- now that you mention it- like- SAMEE?? real life wise- the birthdays are scrambbled up- but lately on tumblr almost everyone has their birthdays around the the "ber" times and this has now made me realize it- like omg- XDD