#i am in suffering
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Hey *throws inconsistently colored drawings at you and leaves*
bonus: kind shitty modern design/Nezha and rollerblades
#Most of these are expression redraws#Cause I am STRUGGLING to draw this guys face#I am in suffering#Good news#i am now coloring with the right colors#Drawing his expressions is ‘fun’#Because unlike redson#(Or most of the main cast)#He only makes like 2 expressions#Angry at swk#Suprised#jamstuff#jamdraws#lmk#lego monkie kid#Nezha#lmk nezha
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sometimes you just gotta write 12.4k words of a rare-pair fic because a fanfic author changed your life and made you want two old, gay men to kiss
as a treat
#writing#fanfic#drauthor writes#star wars#shoulder the sky#drauthor bullshits#i am in suffering#i cranked this out in 17 days#send help#blame shootingstarpilot
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Me, bapping my brain into submission: Stop. Thinking. About. A. QSMPsona!
My brain: Heehoo, egg child go brrr
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WARNING 18+
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#ra speaks#it’s a silly joke/pun dw#we stay silly :3#edit:#woahg. that’s a lot of notes. hi everybody o/#10k. stop clenching your jaw and drink some water.#15k. eat some fresh fruit this week! I’m having kiwis tonight :]#20k. quit sitting like a shrimp it’s bad for your neck! sit up straight and do a little stretch every now and then#25k. I’m up at 2 AM but I’ll get to see the sunrise today :] if you can’t see that I hope you admire the sunset later today#30k. do something fun you haven’t done in a while. I haven’t drawn in months - I think I’ll paint a cat tomorrow :3#40k. I just slept 9 hours straight for the first time in weeks :] remember to ask for help when you need it! no glory in senseless suffering
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(✿◕‿◕) die (ꈍ ꒳ ꈍ✿)
#MY GIRLLLLLLLL <333333 you're doing amazing sweetie kill them all you deserve to#anyway. coping mechanism. the problems in my life i could solve if society just let me have a death note#this show really is an exercise in patience and suffering i get SO squicked out#by how much the horrible characters and situations mirror the insanity of what's happening in real life#also the revelation that some of the actors are Exactly as shitty as their characters are is. ugh.#but every time i'm like okay i can't take it i need to stop to protect my headspace#i think of kimiko and am like.... no... i need to see my gir....#hope karen gets jucy roles in other shows too PLEASE#the boys#kimiko miyashiro#karen fukuhara#theboysedit#tvedit
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😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔
#i hate having fights with a friend#the rsd related stress and fear is slowly consuming me#i know it would be easier for me to just avoid the conflict but i don't want to do that. then the problem wouldn't get solved.#hrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhgggggggghhhhh#i am in suffering#autism why#and trauma why#why are relationships so impossibly hard to maintain
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i know he hates his ass
#gravity falls#bill cipher#stanford pines#fiddleford mcgucket#billford#fiddauthor#i am a dedicated soldier of fiddleford nation and tinfoil hat wearing fiddauthor truther#but i like billford in the sense that it is. ridiculous and awful#in a good way#i love it when men suffer horrors beyond comprehension <3#my art#fanart
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fatima aamer bilal, excerpt from moony moonless sky’s ‘i am tired of making a religion out of my suffering’.
[text id: i am too little, and too much, and never enough.]
#fatima aamer bilal#i am tired of making a religion out of my suffering#poetry#yearning#longing#parent issues#childhood#girlhood#poeticstories#art#book quotes#poetry collection#literature#lit#web weave#typography#bts#book quotations#fantasy#poem#prose#franz kafka#sylvia plath#lana del rey#mitski#hozier#self loathing#pheobe bridgers#dark academia#mahmoud darwish
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the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.
#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone#yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post.#writeblr#ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person#and on this blog we support workers.#at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going.#when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens#have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists#and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like.#it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases -#at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory.#it was what i had seen.#and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference#we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol'#so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender#and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID.#he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different#i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.
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toxic immortal yaoi :')
#interview with the vampire#vampire chronicles#louis de pointe du lac#the vampire armand#loumand#i took out a wisdom tooth i am suffering#the older you get the worse it gets they weren't lying
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#obsessed with their priorities
#mobius#loki#lokius#mcuedit#lokiedit#marveledit#owen wilson#tom hiddleston#loki spoilers#it's got your shape to it... i'm sensing owen at work again 😂#banter for DAYS they're so married it's unbelievable#am i distracting myself from pain and suffering by thinking how hilarious it is loki's vocabulary now includes phrases like 'hoof it'??#maybe so maybe so :'))))#btw if anyone wants to theorize about the ep -#i'm going on record as assuming mobius getting hot cocoa on his own is the point where the timeline went wrong ;;;;#dianagifs#owenwilsonedit#marvel#loki s2 spoilers#ouroboros#o.b.#casey
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bros yall probably already know what i’m about to say but i’ll say it anyway just in case
learn to sew, the joys of sewing are never ending. I sewed a witch hat last month, this week i turned some old pants into shorts, if my favorite socks and tshirts get ripped i can stitch them back together, i made a mouse plushie from an old airline blanket.
you can do a lot of things by hand sewing, albeit slower. but there are more basic cheaper machines too. if you don’t want to invest in a machine sometimes there are public places where you can use the machines. I did most of my sewing at my university campus library, some public libraries have machines too. but if none is available remember you can fix stuff by hand (i learned hand sewing solely so i can repeatedly fix my favorite socks, and it’s doable)
so yeah learn sewing, it’s a good skill
#sewing#life skills#learning#diy craft#bros i am making a whole ass pant because i suffer trying to find pants for my body type#it’s hell
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#i am suffering i’m not even joking#living in agony at the thought i’ll never actually have him#just wanna sit in his lap and be called princess 😩🫠#old man!logan#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#wolverine x reader
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ALEXANDER JANE NEWELL YOU FUCKING BITCH YOU CANNOT TAKE AWAY MY SCOTTISH MAN
#colin becher#colin tmagp#fuck you alex#tmagp vauge#the magnus protocol#magnus protocol#magnus protocol spoilers#update: I am so fucking done#stop putting notes on this please#I’ve suffered enough#sadly I can’t change it now#it’s part of history
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in honor of last season’s poem being called “”end poem”” (all quotes mandatory) this season i made one out of pieces of the actual end poem
#letting me just download the minecraft font? for free? a mistake#if you or a loved one have been suffering from RED TEXT you may be entitled to compensation#my art#god at this point i really do need a writing tag don’t i#<- will continue not addressing this#secret life#goodtimeswithscar#grian#secret life spoilers#sorry tumblr user livvi3love for not making one with all the deaths again#if you (or anyone) did want to illustrate this one as well you’re more than welcome to but i am not expecting anything#i can do an explainer thing again like i did last time but that is for tomorrow#right now i am just. very tired#but for now i will confirm yes the colors Matter#i literally made this on accident against my will#i was trying to DRAW
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ao3 down for 10hours
#ao3#archive of our own#it is down and i am positively SUFFERING#tomorrow cant come fast enough istg#ao3 is back
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