#i am going to see ed be so sad this season

[the-myrda-weapon]

If the WBD press room tags are to be believed this photo dates to episode 1. The Steard and the clothing don't match up with what Stede wears for the rest of the season, so I suspect this might be a daydream. If we get one of Ed's fantasies of Stede looking like this and being swashbuckling and beautiful and we cut to him in Stede's now empty quarters and I have to see my babygirl's face fall as he emerges from this reverie (IN EPISODE ONE!!!!!!!) I will violate the European Convention of Human Rights (ECHR). David please I am not so strong

[asgardian--angels]

Izzy Discourse Masterpost

Hey all, given the amount of awful splintering and wank happening in ofmd fandom rn regarding Izzy's death, including the flat-out immature and unacceptable harassment of David Jenkins and Co, I wanted to just make this one all-encompassing post to address the various grievances and complaints I've seen (almost entirely on Twitter). If I've missed anything, please feel free to add on. I'm putting most of this under a read-more for length.

Please be aware, I say all of this as an Izzy fan. I've loved his character since season 1, and while I was sad to see him go, I completely understand and support David & Co's reasons for concluding his arc, and I think it was done respectfully in a way fitting to his character. So let's break down some of the takes I've seen. I am not referencing specific posts or people here, I just want to address the general themes that I keep seeing about why some people are upset.

Izzy's death served no narrative purpose.

Look, this is one that I'm sure fans will debate for the rest of the hiatus. It's completely within your right to disagree with this writing choice, but Izzy's death did serve a narrative purpose in the story that David Jenkins is telling - and he has spoken to this end in several interviews already. I can only summarize here, and fans may find other perspectives in time as well. What we need to remember is that Our Flag Means Death is, at the end of the day, Ed and Stede's love story. That has been made abundantly, explicitly clear. The show has been fantastic at fleshing out the other supporting characters, but that's what they are - supporting characters. They often have their own subplots but ultimately the narrative seeks to move Ed and Stede's story forward and they are tools to spur Ed and Stede's growth or mirror their struggles. Izzy has been a wonderfully complex, multifaceted character but we must remember that all characters are vessels through which stories are told, lessons are imparted, and metaphors are established. He's not a real person who 'deserves' any particular fate. David said he's always intended for Izzy to die at the end of his arc.

Firstly, Izzy (now canonically, through his own dying words) represents part of Blackbeard. He enabled and encouraged Ed's darker side, they were mutually toxic forces to each other. Ed is attempting to cope with and move on from this phase of his life, and like Stede in season 1, set out a free man, unshackled by expectations and loose ends of those he's hurt and been hurt by (though we realize this is an ongoing process that takes time). This lovely gifset sums it up nicely, with Izzy being the Mary parallel, and making s2 mirror s1. Blackbeard is both Ed and Izzy; Ed cannot be free of Blackbeard while Izzy is in his life, and when Izzy is gone he will never truly be Blackbeard again. They are each other's rotting leg!! Yet, they love each other - and David has said that for Ed, this has developed into a mentor and father relationship, and where Ed has previously despised his father figures (his actual father, Hornigold) he does not want to lose Izzy. This time, Izzy brings out Ed, not Blackbeard - and that's where we get the callback to 'there he is', bringing their impact on each other full circle, freeing Ed, getting approval of sorts that he never had, to be soft, to be loved (and there are parallels to Zheng and Auntie here as well that others have made) from that force that drove him to stay in line all this time. David has said in multiple interviews now that he was going for the idea of the mentor/father figure dying and the hero living on and trying to do justice to them.

From Izzy's side, Izzy cannot be free while Edward remains either (Mary cannot find peace while Stede remains). The scar never truly healed, the leg will always be a reminder. At this point the argument becomes 'yes, but why did he have to die? Why not just sail off with the crew of the Revenge?' David has stated that he feels they've done everything they can with, and for, Izzy; he's come leagues from season 1, he's found community, he's found hope, he's found new parts of himself, and he's made good memories. He's found worth outside of what he can be to others. That's more than most pirates could hope for. Where would his character go from there, when the Golden Age of Piracy he belongs to has burned to the ground? Would he stay around and whittle on the Revenge? If he were a real person, yes, that would be lovely, and he'd deserve all the quiet peaceful happiness in the world. But as I explain several points below, he's not interested in being a captain. He's not up for the hard physical labor of regular crew, and he's extremely overqualified for that besides. He has served his narrative purpose, and symbolically, to enter a new age, everything must go. He's connected to the old age of piracy, to the Republic of Pirates, that is now demolished. To him, fighting for what he believes in, for the family he's found, bringing down an army of British twats in the process, is how he should go. It's a pirate's death, and as Izzy's said, he's a pirate - unlike Blackbeard who's succeeding in breaking away from piracy, Izzy never wanted to stop being a pirate, throughout his arc. To me, that's why Izzy remains trapped in the narrative, trapped in history, whereas Ed and Stede will escape history. They leave piracy, and canon, behind, while Izzy was content to remain a pirate and face a pirate's fate.

Burying him on land, right next to Ed and Stede's beach house, shows that his sacrifice was not in vain - they start this new life together, thanks to Izzy's mentorship, his role in their lives that sometimes for worse, sometimes for better, made their love what it was and made their breakaway possible. The new age is built on the foundations of the old age, and is stronger for it.

As we're well aware by now, David tweeted that there's no version of ofmd without Izzy. Whether that's literal or not, symbolically it's true. Izzy's arc of growth affected everyone on the Revenge. Jim fondly remembered fighting for a time when life meant something on that ship; the crew helped give Izzy new meaning in life, and he helped them in return. When he dies, they mourn and have a funeral; that wouldn't have happened under Blackbeard's watch in episode 2. His life meant something to them. He influenced Ed and Stede immensely, and they will take that with them. As David's said, they're all a family, and Izzy was a part of that family, and his loss unites them and brings them closer to continue to fight for that family they've built. It's a tragic, sudden death of someone they've all grown to care for, and that steels their reserve to keep the torch lit. They literally sail off into the sunset to hunt down Ricky to avenge Izzy; he will always be a part of this show. And, of course, with the brief appearance of seagull Buttons, the door is left open for anything.

If this was The Izzy Show, then sure, we'd be content to see him simply engaged in shenanigans every episode. But the plot, and therefore the characters, need to keep moving forward, and Izzy got his growth and development. He got what he needed for his character to have closure, and he served his symbolic narrative purpose in Ed's (and Stede's) story. You may have your own ideas and perspectives, and that's great - that's what fandom is for. But we cannot say his death was pointless when David Jenkins and the writers clearly had a well-defined motive for pushing the narrative in this direction. I actually think the narrative around Ed and Izzy is the most well-developed in the entire show. I for one am so happy we got such an interesting and complex character, and had the brilliant Con O'Neill to portray him.

Izzy's growth & healing arc was rendered pointless by his death.

As this post so eloquently puts it, it's pretty bleak to have the outlook that taking steps to heal and find meaning in life is worthless if it's later lost. Seeking happiness and self-actualization is worthwhile for its own sake; no one knows what's down the road, and we all die eventually. Find meaning in life now. Would you rather have had Izzy not miss with his bullet in ep2? He was given the chance to experience joy, freedom, and hope for the first time in potentially a long time, and when he died he did so with those happy memories. As mentioned, Izzy's death was decided long beforehand given the narrative, and the point of storytelling is to make you feel emotions. We were given impetus to connect and relate to Izzy's character through his process of healing, so when he did die, we felt it keenly. That's how stories work actually! We felt what Ed felt. It moved us. It's not a bad thing that Izzy's arc made him more likeable to fans before his death. It's not a bad thing to lose a beloved character - guess what, it happens constantly in stories - and it's not bad to grieve over it either, but to say that it made his journey pointless is just not true. People saying that Con must be upset that they snatched his character away from him after getting to develop him so much - again I say, would you rather him have died in ep 2 before he had the chance to grow? Or how about in s1, when the crew tried to mutiny? How'd you feel when Stede killed him in his dream, in the very first scene of the season? I think Con's probably glad for the opportunity to have explored this character so much in season 2. Ask him if he thinks it was pointless.

Killing off Izzy was bad for queer rep/burying your gays/"Izzy was the queer heart of the show"

I'm putting 'bury your gays' on the top shelf so people can't use it when it doesn't actually apply. Most of the main cast of characters in this show are queer, and it's a show about pirates with a good amount of violence. Ergo, chances are a queer character will die in the course of Things Happening In Stories. Izzy didn't die because he was queer, and he wasn't the token queer rep. Please turn your attention to the boatloads (literally) of queer characters that are happy and thriving (how about the LuPete wedding immediately afterwards??). As for Izzy being the "queer heart of the show," this is literally the Ed and Stede show. You know, the two queer leads whose queer love the show revolves around, per David Jenkins himself. I'm glad folks connected with and derived joy from Izzy's growth and especially his performance in Calypso's birthday, but he is not the main character of the show. The queer heart of the show is in fact, the entire show, all of their characters and the community & found family they create aboard the Revenge. Not to mention the fan community as well. Izzy was never carrying the show's representation on his back, and frankly that's an absurdly wild take to have (esp when he spent most of s1 actively working against the main queer relationships in the show, attempting to maintain the oppressive status quo of pirate society).

It was bad and irresponsible to have a suicidal character die

Are we forgetting the entire first half of the season where Ed, who was suicidal, kept trying to passively kill himself because he felt he was an unlovable monster, only to be shown that he is in fact loved unconditionally and it gives him the strength to fight for life and triumph against his own self-doubt? The show has spent quite a lot of effort telling viewers that despite feeling damaged or broken you are worthy of love and that you are loved even if it may be hard to see it when you're in a bad place. That you don't need to be fully healed to deserve love and care, and that love and support will help you along your journey. It's incredibly wild to disregard this major plot point and fundamental message of s2 to try and spin this the opposite way for Izzy's character.

Secondly, where are people getting 'Izzy is suicidal' from? Are we going back all the way to episode 2, when he's at his lowest point and fails at his suicide attempt, only to be figuratively reborn after removing the metaphorical rotten leg? By the time of the finale he's shown to be in a good place, thanks to the arc of healing and growth he's gotten, through the support of the Revenge crew and his 'breakup' with Blackbeard allowing him to find his own way in life, realizing he doesn't need a purpose to have value and enjoying his time on the Revenge and the bonds he's made with Stede and the crew. He is, in the words of Ivan, "the most open and available I've ever seen him" by the finale. To take episode 2 as evidence he's suicidal is to erase his whole season of growth, which is an ironic thing to do in the context of these arguments. There's no canon evidence Izzy Hands was suicidal post-'Fun and Games'.

As for 'irresponsible,' once again I say, David Jenkins is not your therapist, he's not 'Dad,' and has no responsibility to tell his story any other way than he intended to tell it. Please find media that gives you what you want or need, and if the death of a fictional character causes you this much distress please seek help. I mean this kindly but seriously.

Killing off Izzy was ableist/bad for disability rep.

I point once again to the rest of the characters, several of which are disabled in varied ways. There are literally multiple other amputee characters specifically. It's not good storytelling to wholly avoid killing off any character that is disabled/queer/poc/female or [insert marginalized group here], especially when a) it makes sense narratively, and b) there's plenty of representation of these groups in the media in question. The answer isn't making such characters invincible and immortal, it's increasing the number of these characters in shows so it's not devastating when some do die in the course of natural storytelling.

OFMD was my comfort show/safe space show, now it's ruined for me

I am not trying to be insensitive here when I say that's a problem that is yours and nobody else's. David Jenkins created this show with a three-season vision and a story in mind, and he is telling that story to the best of his ability the way he wants to. It's already been said that he and the crew did not anticipate the fandom becoming as large and passionate as it has. The plot of the show was never intended to be 'fan service,' and it's ironic that there were people complaining this season that there's been too many fanservice tropes, up until David and the rest of the writers room made a narrative decision they did not like, then the complaints changed to not coddling the fans enough.

We as viewers can derive joy from this show, it can be a comfort to us, it can be important to us. But it was not designed specifically for that purpose, therefore it cannot fail in that respect. We do not have the right to harass writers for not steering the ship in the direction we want - it's their work of art, and we can choose to either come along for the ride or not. It's rare to see creators actually given the chance to tell their story the way they intend (budget cuts aside), so let him do that. He should not cater to fans, or cave and change the story to appease us. Respect his right to create his art, and remember you have the right to create your own. That's what fanfiction is for - write fix-its to your heart's content, but keep these realms separate. David Jenkins and Co hold zero, and I mean zero, responsibility to you. He could not please everyone no matter what he did, it would be fruitless to try, and it would certainly compromise the quality of the story he set out to tell.

You are absolutely allowed to dislike choices made in any show. Curate your media experience. If this show no longer brings you joy, stop watching. But it was never David's purpose nor responsibility to juggle the mental health of millions of fans. Trying to put that on him will only make him less enthusiastic about interacting with fans or continuing to make this show. This isn't rocket science. You're responsible for yourself, not this guy you call 'Dad' that you've developed a parasocial-therapist relationship with.

Izzy should have become captain of the Revenge.

Really?? Firstly, we did actually get that already in s1. He was tyrannical and the crew mutinied. But even if you think 'well after his character arc he'd be better suited to it,' it goes against the point of this arc. He's found value in not having a distinct role or purpose on the ship, decoupling his worth from the job he's expected to perform. He's found his place amongst the crew, not commanding it. There's no narrative reason to put him in charge when he's expressed no further interest in slotting himself back into a role full of pressure and expectations.

Con O'Neill was only told halfway through filming, it's cruel to just kill off the character he loves so much.

Guys, he's an actor. More than that, an actor with a theater background. I think he's used to characters dying. You don't need to look out for him. Con and David spoke one on one about it at length so they were on the same page, and David even said that Con took it well. I'm sure Con had input, just as other members of the cast have influenced their characters' stories, costumes, backstories, etc. Do you really think David Jenkins hurt Con's feelings or something? The writers (remember, it's not just David, it's a whole team of hard-working people coming up with these ideas) gave Con such a chance to shine this season, really developing Izzy beyond what he was given in s1 and letting Con show off his full acting range. Why are you only focusing on the destination rather than the journey? Sure, Con's probably sad to see Izzy go, but please do not project your distress onto him or try and accuse David & Co of being 'cruel' to their cast. That's really ridiculous. It's constantly evident how close they all are.

More importantly, do you actually, seriously think that Con O'Neill would want fans to harass each other or the writers over his character? The man who preaches being kind above all? There is no better way to make an actor uncomfortable about a show and its fanbase than to start treating fictional characters like they're more important than real people. He would not want you to bully people over Izzy Hands, and it's mind-boggling that some of you have convinced yourself otherwise.

Lastly, I just want to talk about the fact that some people are holding OFMD to absurdly high expectations.

Our Flag Means Death has been a pioneer series for its diverse representation, earnest storytelling, and themes of hope, community, and love. It's fine to discuss aspects of the show with a critical eye, but so much of the discourse has truly felt like folks are trying to find fault in a show that is leagues ahead of the average tv series that we still enjoy. How many fan favorites are killed off all the time? How many plotlines are scrapped, or drawn out without closure, or contradicted the very next season? How many shows are indifferent or actively hostile towards their fanbase? How many have any queer characters, or actually do bury them? The bar's so low, and OFMD has risen above to give us so much. Some are holding the show to astronomical expectations, waiting for it to fall from the pedestal it's been placed on. If something you don't like happens in the show, it's not suddenly ruined or demoted to being ~just as bad as those other shows~. Give them some breathing room, have some perspective on how progressive the show is, and that perfection is impossible, especially meeting every single viewer's idea of it. This is basically a repeat of the recent Good Omens drama, with an absurd number of people harassing Neil Gaiman for breaking up Aziraphale and Crowley and leaving the second of three acts on a very predictable cliffhanger. Let stories be told, let them unfold as they may, and you are free to leave anytime. It's so wonderful that more queer love stories are becoming popular and even mainstream, but let's not shoot ourselves in the foot by tearing them down when they don't go exactly the way you want it, which often seems to mean no drama, no character deaths, and therefore no conflict or even plot!

Just, please be civil human beings, and while this seems to be a difficult thing for so many fandoms to do, just keep your fan opinions in the fan space. Never bring your grievances to the writers, never bully them and persecute them for telling a story that you opted into viewing. That's something that goes entirely against everything this show, and this cast and crew, have imparted onto us - the importance of kindness, support, community, and love. I'll say it again because it bears repeating: the fate of a fictional character is never more important than how you treat real people. Just be kind in real life, which includes the internet. Thanks.

Now please, let's work together to ensure we get a season 3. There's so much more story to be told, and if you want to see Izzy back, whether that's as flashbacks, as a ghost haunting the inn, or in the gravy basket, we'll need more episodes! #RenewAsACrew

[tvxqmylove]

Let's raise our glasses to Izzy and OFMD creators

I just have to get it off my chest, I understand Izzy's death came as a shock and very upsetting event for many, and a lot of people are going on and on about how he deserved a better fate and how he was not just some tool to serve someone else's story. Please try to calm down and see the bigger picture. 

It is now clear that he was always meant to die. It was foreshadowed in the first minute of the second season, a ridiculous, villain's death. Being the symbolic obstacle to Stede and Ed's happiness. 

Of course that was the wrong way for him to go. When he confessed to his crush Blackbeard he got shot by him, almost died, begged to be killed, and then he even tried to kill himself. Still didn't work. It wasn’t his time yet and that was the wrong way for him to go. When he learned that he was loved and cared for after all, just not in the way he expected, he changed. He became positive, he became forgiving. Then he stopped being miserable he started genuinely wishing for the happiness of others as well, instead of being bitter about it. His death might not have a point but his life did. He had the crew's and Ed's and even Stede's back, and they knew it. As David Jenkins stated, he played the role of a wise mentor that was passing along his life experiences to others. Then it was his time. Also, as foreshadowed, he symbolically took away Blackbeard, and opened a way for Stede and Ed as well.

A happy ending is not only walking off to sunset with a lover, taking up a new job or walking into a house of your family and petting your dog before you close the door. A good death, and a life well-lived is a happy ending. Leaving behind people that loved you is a happy ending. This was a happy ending for him. 

He lived the way he wanted, as a pirate, an infamous one that has received respect and recognition. Then he resolved the parts of his life that became problematic and toxic, he repaired the relationships

that was broken, he forgave the people he needed to forgive. After going through hell, he was basically a bubble of positivity, going around giving solid advices, encouraging people and partying. He was done. He gave the best damn speech of his life at a bar like giving his own eulogy and it was awesome. He died at the arms of the person he loved the most. 

Yes he could have had more, everyone that ever died could have had more. But he died gracefully and complete, surrounded by people he loved and cared about, knowing that they will be fine. That was his story. I am sad that he died, but he died beautifully, best you can hope for in a pirate life. And he will live on, in the hearts of the people he touched by his existence. 

Finally, never harass the creators. It is their hard work that gave us Izzy in the first place. Trust their creative process, and afterwards take it or leave it, do not harass them and try to put them in a box of your personal demands. If so, what kind of 3rd season can we even expect?

[petrichorca]

Hello, I am slowly figuring out how to use tumblr effectively. I thought I'd give an update on fics I've written in 2024, but keep forgetting to talk about here in a meaningful way.

As We Go Hand in Hand (explicit, gentlebeard, 7100 words) follows Ed as he processes the past few months while living on the island with Stede, massively in love but struggling with himself. I wrote it while feeling a lot of delayed grief around the (confirmed) s2 cancellation, and while it's sad at points it's also quite romantic I think. I really love this story.

Behind Closed Eyes All I See is You (explicit, gentlebeard, 5300 words) is a smutty PWP my dear friend @chaoticturtleturtle invited me to write with her. Stede lets Ed take the lead in a scene with some sensory deprivation, pwp, and aftercare.

like sugar to my heart (mature, gentlebeard, 4200 words) is a silly fic I wrote for my Animorphs OFMD AU co-writer as a birthday gift. Our blue four-legged four-eyed mouthless alien Stedeth gets foiled by a vending machine (based on the tumblr art of the giraffe centaur), and Ed consoles him.

like a bird (teen, gentlebeard, 3700 words) with @ghostalservice gives some backstory about Stedeth's life prior to the events of our 177k fic and features some very cute art of Mary and Stede's children (as Andalites, of course) by @theogem

Stede’s Cursed Red Suit as a Metaphor for Grief and Moving On (teen, stede + izzy, 1717 words) explores the squishy time of season 2, episode 5, and the dynamic between Stede and Izzy in season 2 overall. I am also obsessed with how Stede acts in the cursed suit. I find their s2 relationship really interesting so this is me looking a bit at that via a missing scene starting with Stede yelling OH FUCK OFF.

Calypso’s Dawn (explicit, gentlebeard, 1800 words) centers around how Ed made his boyfriend blush the morning after Calypso's birthday and how Ed feels about it. I love this fic. I've been trying to challenge myself to write more self-contained, shorter stories and this one turned out really well imo.

Life as a Series of Forward Rolls (teen, gentlebeard, 9900 words) features Stede running into his teenhood crush, the gold medalist in men's gymnastics from the 1996 Olympics. This fic also centers around a Barbie doll in Ed Teach's likeness, which @swashbuckling-sweethearts made an INCREDIBLE art of (embedded at the end of the story), inspired by my own 1996 Olympics Barbie. Silly and light modern AU!

Did you mean to do that? (teen, gentlebeard, 700 words) explores Stede's grief around Ed dying, even when he knows Ed is alive. I had no idea I would be so interested in writing missing scenes, but long conversations with friends have really ignited me in exploring these. (The length - I was trying to channel @brigdh, whose ability to write devastatingly brilliant drabbles inspires me, and I'm pleased with this one!)

Perfectly Ordinary Tuesday (mature, gentlebeard, 4900 words) with @ferventrabbit follows Stede and Ed deciding to get married on a perfectly ordinary Tuesday, and drag their inn guest Dave along for the ride. We split up writing the vows, and I balled my eyes out writing mine and then reading em's. This story is fluffy and fun, and it was a great way to start 2024. :)

What's next: I'm working on or noodling a lot of projects, solo and with different collaborators. Imminently, I've got a fic with @veeagainsttheday coming for AUpril on April 1st. Hoping to get something else out in April for @ofmdjanuaury's AUpril 2024 event, which I highly encourage folks to check out - it's for all sorts of creators!

@ghostalservice and I continue to think about our blue alien Stede and his human boyfriend Ed. Wanna Fly Away was such an important project to me while we were writing, and it's become even more special as folks find it. WFA now has art embedded in most of the 15 chapters, so if you haven't seen those check it out. More to come in that space.

Where was I going with this? Well, I suppose I want to say I'm still here. OFMD changed my life, and the OFMD fandom community is deeply important to me. I still hold out hope for a third season, or a follow-up that brings us more closure, but no matter what I'm still thinking about our pirates and will for a long time. If you read this far, thanks for being part of my community. <3

[laughhardrunfastbekindsblog]

Okay, my one and only major complaint about Bad Batch is that I don't think they handled Tech's death properly (I still don't think they should have killed him off at all, but here we are; and even if they intend(ed) to leave things open-ended to maybe bring him back later, the titular characters in the show wouldn't have known that); and with all the reasons I've seen floating out there as to WHY Tech's death was handled the way it was and why the characters reacted the way they did (or didn't), I just want to explain why none of the "reasons" cut it for me. If you're satisfied with how Tech was handled in season 3, I am genuinely happy for you (and lowkey jealous, ngl 😉). I've just been thinking about this a lot and need to spell it out!

Reason #1: "Why do we need to see more of the characters mourning? What we got was enough. We don't need a 2 hour episode that's all about the characters grieving." (Yes, someone actually used "2 hours" in their argument.)

Let's recap what we got: 1) A scene where Echo looks sadly at the Marauder's pilot seat, Wrecker actually sheds some tears (bless him), Omega's in denial, and Hunter tells Omega they're going to retire on Pabu because Tech is gone... followed up almost immediately by the villain dropping off broken goggles as the only proof that Tech was ever on Eriadu; 2) a scene where the audience is shown Tech's goggles but Hunter doesn't interact with them- instead, he looks at Lula, proving that his driving motivation is recovering Omega (which is fine when taken from the perspective that he can't do anything about Tech, whereas he can do something for Omega; but that perspective is ultimately just headcanon because the show never reiterates or follows up on this); 3) Wrecker alluding to Tech (not by name) to try to convince Hunter to be more cautious; 4) Omega name-dropping Tech (wait, does Crosshair even know what happened?... yay for context clues, I guess); 5) Echo name-dropping Tech in relation to data decryption with the team looking down sadly for 5 seconds (I timed it) before Crosshair changes the subject; 6) Phee name-dropping Tech in relation to her not knowing what m-count is; 7) Crosshair referring to Tech's information on Ventress; 8) Omega leaving Tech's goggles in the Archeum with none of her brothers around (hot take: it kinda bothers me that the goggles are given the same treatment as Lula, I totally understand the context/deeper meaning of Omega leaving her childhood behind by leaving Lula, but we're talking about the one relic they have of their fallen and irreplaceable brother being given the same emotional weight as a doll); 9) Phee referring to Tech having a discussion with her about Crosshair while Tech's goggles are in the background (and, noticeably, Crosshair doesn't react at all and just changes the subject back to needing a ship); 10) Crosshair says the squad died with Tech, Wrecker says Tech understood the risks, and that's that.

So, what we got was enough to establish that the characters were sad in the immediate aftermath of Tech's death, that some of them may have stayed sad about it all through season 3, and that the show didn't completely forget that Tech had been a main character at one point.

What we DON'T get is any real reference to what Tech meant to the family as an individual and a brother, any real indication of how the loss of Tech (distinct from the mission to save Omega) influences his family's actions or the story's overall narrative, any actual acknowledgement in the show of Tech's sacrifice having any meaning or the family moving past grief to express any form of gratitude for Tech's presence and influence on their lives, any reference to Tech having a true impact on 4 of his 5 siblings (Omega is the closest we get to witnessing Tech's continued influence on any of his siblings and even seeing that involves squinting/head tilts at times)... in other words, we get a few minutes of sadness, but never any catharsis. We see they miss him, but never does this truly inform the narrative or their decisions in season 3, AND it's left frustratingly vague where the characters are in the grieving process (more on that later).

Besides, no one (that I have come across, at least) was ever asking for a 2 hour episode. At most, Kanan got a 22-minute "eulogy" episode, and most of us aren't even asking for that. I'd have been at least minimally satisfied with a "Mayday moment" for Tech - and that scene lasted a grand total of 20 seconds. What would have been more satisfying would have been the show taking all those superficial name drops and converting at least a few of them into meaningful mentions indicating what Tech means to his brothers and/or how he continues to have an influence on his family and/or how his sacrifice is a motivating factor for them.

Reason #2: "There was no time."

Leaving aside the fact that there was apparently plenty of time and opportunity to make Tech (among others) a red herring...

Let's assume that the showrunners were not only told they only had 1 season left to wrap everything up, but were given highly specific time allotments for each episode to where they weren't allowed to add any scenes (I highly doubt this is what happened, but we're rolling with the "no time" thing here). You know what you do in that scenario when you're talking about something like following up on a main character's death that clearly has left your entire fanbase in an uproar? You MAKE time: you trim down the action scenes, you make the characters walk a little bit faster, you decide whether an extended scene of Echo giving Omega a crossbow that is never going to show up again is actually worth saving (I actually like the scene, by the way; just giving an example), you cut out a few of the extremely vague lines of dialogue Fennec and Asajj indulge in. What you DON'T do is kill off a beloved main character and then rely on convenient time lapses/time skips to just brush over all the fallout apart from a few name drops that do nothing to establish just how important said character was to the other characters in the show.

What's more, they could have EASILY included some true closure with ANY of the Tech name-drops/scenes that were already in the show. Have Hunter look at Tech's goggles before looking beyond them at Lula in 3.02. Have the brothers be present with Omega when she decides to leave Tech's goggles in the Archeum in 3.11. Have any of the brothers say one meaningful line about Tech while they're otherwise silently basking in the sunshine in the end scene on Pabu in 3.15!

Reason #3: "They're soldiers."

Of all the reasons given for why Tech's death was mishandled, I dislike this one the most. What does CF99 being soldiers have to do with the aftermath of Tech's death being reduced to perfunctory allusions? (If you want to get into the argument that soldiers in general have to figure out a way to "move on" and The Clone Wars didn't really spend any time on the clones processing losses after battles, let me just say I don't care for how this topic is covered in The Clone Wars either, and Bad Batch was a golden opportunity for the Star Wars franchise to move past this unfortunate trope.) Fallen soldiers in real life get memorials/funerals too, even if it's months after the battle. Fallen soldiers are honored and remembered by their families and those closest to them. If the show is trying to push the stereotype that soldiers move on from tragic deaths of comrades by being "stoic" and holding it all in and never talking about it, I strongly disagree with the perpetuation of this stereotype; and if the characters as soldiers actually DID grieve Tech in a healthy way, why didn't the show depict it?

Reason #4: "Star Wars writers don't know how to write meaningful scenes/payoff regarding death and characters dealing with death/loss."

The Bad Batch writers proved time and again how brilliant they are at writing emotional storylines with maximum payoff. Case in point: Mayday. Enough said (I'm writing too much on this general topic as it is).

Reason #5: "They got over it."

Maybe I'm reading things wrong, but a rather drastic change in behavior for one character (going from cautious and weighing all risks, to reckless and jumping headfirst into situations without proper backup), and another character including Tech's death as just one reason why he "deserves" to go on a suicide mission, does not read to me as the characters "getting over it." It reads to me as "avoidance behavior" and "continued internal conflict." (Granted, Hunter's more reckless behavior in season 3 likely had as much to do with the Omega situation as it did Tech's death, but the point still stands. And if the point DOESN'T still stand, then I've got even MORE issues with how this plotline was handled, so we'll just keep assuming it does.)

Furthermore, if the characters had truly "gotten over it," there shouldn't have been any hesitation or issue with them discussing and honoring Tech in meaningful ways.

Reason #6: "They DIDN'T get over it."

Right, and we ended the show that way, with no clear resolution to them actually coming to terms with Tech's death and honoring his memory. Great.

Reason #7: "Whatever. It's good Tech stayed dead. Tech's sacrifice meant something."

... Did it? Did it really? I mean, I know I say quite frequently that Tech's sacrifice is what made the happy ending possible for the others (because that's the only thought that got me through a rewatch of season 3). But the show, the narrative itself, certainly doesn't act like it really meant anything. Hunter says in the season 2 finale that they "weren't going to waste Tech's sacrifice" because they were going to retire on Pabu... and that discussion promptly gets forgotten and never brought up again, not even when the squad is trying to stay off the Empire's radar in season 3 after Omega returns. Never is there any discussion that "not wasting Tech's sacrifice" by hiding on Pabu to make sure no one else dies (a very understandable reaction, of course) also goes against the very mission Tech pushed for in the first place: rescuing Crosshair. Never do we hear Omega tell Crosshair, "Tech didn't give up on you, I'm not giving up on you, that's why you ARE going to escape with me." Never is there any talk about "Tech wanted us to live and stay together, so that is what we are going to do." Never is there any acknowledgement at the end of the show that they are all going to live in peace on Pabu because Tech made sure they could live.

The last half of season 4 of Rebels is full of references to Kanan's sacrifice actually meaning something and having direct tangible consequences not only for the family but for Lothal and the Rebellion. For one thing, the show itself literally spells out that the mission to shut down the Imperial factories on Lothal was actually a success because all the fuel reserves were destroyed - Kanan had died, but the mission had succeeded and directly led to the success of the bigger mission to completely free Lothal, and while this is very poor consolation for the loss of Kanan, at least the show openly acknowledged it. Kanan and his influence is also openly credited for Ezra foiling Palpatine's plans with the Jedi Temple and the WBW, Ezra learning to let go and again disrupting Palpatine's plans in the finale, and doing what was needed to ensure Lothal was fully freed.

Imagine how different Rebels would be if Kanan's death had been treated like Tech's: no mention that his role on the mission had any impact whatsoever. No reference to Ezra or any other member of the Ghost crew living up to what Kanan had taught them all - or, at best, there's a perfunctory reference in the epilogue that Ezra decided to keep using the Force the way Kanan had taught him to. No depiction of Ezra or Hera or Sabine or Zeb accepting Kanan's death and letting go of the pain while holding on to the memories. Nothing to show that any of the Ghost crew members act in memory of Kanan or that he is a motivating influence on them. No indication that Kanan's sacrifice drives Ezra to decide to follow up on their initial success with the factories and ultimately completely drive the Empire from Lothal.

Rebels just wouldn't be nearly as fulfilling.

Now, imagine if Tech's death had been treated like Kanan's, and maybe it will become more clear why I have a REALLY hard time agreeing with the argument that the show itself actually depicted Tech's death as "meaning something."

[piracytheorist]

So anyway I got a digital version of The Official Anime Guide, and it's got some really nice artwork!

I especially like this one. They all look so happy!

I am particularly weak for the one on the left. It looks like they both got flowers for Yor and it's just so sweet 🥺🥺

And I like their poses in the one on the right. And some variety in expressions!

And among the character designs, showing them in different attire and from different angles, my whump-loving ass really appreciated that they had a section about Loid's bloody face from the second episode 😌😌

They know their audience 👀

I also really like how they've worked in the difference between "Twilight eyes" and "Loid eyes" in his expressions.

One day I'll make that post analyzing the times we see him with "Twilight eyes" vs with "Loid eyes" vs the few times we see his more relaxed, real expression. One day.

Near the end there were also some storyboards from a few scenes in the first cour of the first season, and also some from the first OP and ED. And this one caught my attention:

He has a quiet, reserved expression in the final product, but in the storyboard he kinda looks... sad? Like maybe it's because it's just a quick draft sketch, but that brow going upwards in the inner corner looks quite worried. Again, maybe that wasn't intentional, but I thought I could point it out, lol.

Anyway, it's got some cool designs in it, interviews with the main cast and even with Endo himself, and learning that he was left an emotional wreck after he wrote the arc that I'm waiting patiently to learn all about when the next season starts... made me realize even more that I am not emotionally prepared for it either. (Again, anime only here, so even though I've gotten some spoilers, don't spoil me further) Interesting stuff overall!

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

ok so like i get where ppl are coming from with the “the crew loves izzy” takes but also like. ok. i think that take involves a certain amount of reading very deeply into the text to a degree that is almost reading against the text at some points. it’s like when ppl pour all this energy into an underdeveloped and unportant side character—none of those layers ppl add to the character are strictly contradicted by the text, but it clearly wasn’t what the writer intended for anyone to really focus on. and yeah, death of the author, just bc the writers didn’t intend for ppl to think abt something that hard or care about it that much doesn’t mean we’re not allowed to do whatever the fuck we want. but bc i love analyzing the shit out of this show i do want to talk about WHY i think the textual support for this headcanon isn’t rlly there.

first of all. when archie is like “why are we trying so hard to save this guy, he’s kinda a dick” and jim’s like “yeah but he’s our dick.” rather than elaborate on what makes izzy special to them they’re like “it used to be that the crew all had each other’s backs no matter what and things were better back then” while reminiscing fondly about 1. olu and 2. that shot from season 1 where the whole crew is hanging out except for izzy who’s sulking in the background hating everyone. if this was supposed to be an “izzy’s a dick but we love him anyway” moment i would expect jim to talk about. yknow. izzy. instead to me ot comes across more like an “izzy’s a dick but crew is crew, we stick up for each other even if we don’t particularly like each other bc it’s us against the world” which isn’t as impactful from an izzy stanning perspective but i think makes for, like, an interesting allegory abt the queer community. we all gotta defend the rights of ppl in our community even if those specific ppl are dicks and we don’t get along with them.

second of all. after they save izzy’s life and get caught by ed they all leave the room and then a few minutes later a gun goes off. maybe someone saw ed leave the room before the shot was fired, but either way they think either ed just killed izzy or izzy just killed himself. and then they DO NOTHING ABOUT THIS. nobody checks on the body. they put all this effort into saving izzy’s life and then when their efforts are foiled they do not seem that bummed out about it. the next scene with any crew member in it is frenchie talking to ed on deck, and ed is like “go take the day off” and frenchie is like “oh nice!” and he’s like, confused and a little concerned about ed suddenly steering the ship rlly erratically, but he also seems pretty excited about getting some time off (after so many raids in a row i would be too lol). and THEN!!! in the next scene where we get the whole crew, they’re crowded in the hallway that leads out to the deck and the conversation they have isn’t “oh my god i can’t believe ed killed izzy after we cut off izzy’s leg” it’s “maybe ed’s better now? maybe killing izzy was all it took? he seems pretty cheerful for the first time in ages, maybe ed’s okay?” like literally they think ed just killed izzy and they are more worried about ed’s emotional state than they are grieving a beloved shipmate

then in 2.04 the crew B plot is so blatantly “the crew struggles to trust each other again but after seeing izzy be incredibly sad and pathetic they remember that a good crew has each other’s backs no matter what and so they extend izzy some unearned kindness and make him a new leg” that i’m amazed that other interpretations even exist. like literally they’re all drawn away from screaming at each other with weapons drawn by izzy making some dramatic announcement and then falling and then drunkenly crawling away and refusing their help rambling “youre born alone you die alone” over and over again or whatever melodramatic bullshit he said. like he’s muttering abt being miserable and alone and there’s a WHOLE ROOM OF PEOPLE!!! standing RIGHT THERE!!!! like “oh hey man do you need help standing up? no? no ur just gonna crawl away? um. ok.” and then they all go “well at least we’re not as fucked up as that guy. maybe we should do something nice for him?” like they are literally almost explicitly motivated by pity, not fondness. which yeah, it’s probably fucked up the way they use izzy’s new disability to sort of emphasize how pathetic he’s being, but i think the intention there is not that izzy’s pathetic bc he’s disabled, he’s pathetic bc he’s refusing to accept help. like the crew doesn’t go “yikes 😬 at least we don’t have his issues” abt izzy falling down when his makeshift prosthetic breaks, they go “yikes 😬” when he bats away their hands and goes on a weird mumbling tirade. definitely not the most sensitive way to depict izzy in this mental state, but that’s a different post probably. for the sake of THIS post tho: the takeaway i got from this scene is that the crew is remembering how to be there for each other again. it’s easier for them to let go of their paranoia and stop being so defensive and distrustful when izzy is there as an example of what happens when you’re TOO defensive and distrustful. “the crew makes a leg for izzy bc they care about him on a personal level” did not seem to be the focus of that story arc. to me.

in 2.05 we get our first ever instance of a character expressing appreciation for something izzy said or did or some trait he expressed (except for stede that time in 1.06 when izzy backed stede up on wanting to do a fuckery, which he only did specifically bc he wanted stede to fucking die and ed was taking too long), and it’s lucius saying he loves the shark izzy whittled. but during the entire episode leading up to that scene izzy is either in syede’s storyline where he’s not engaging with the crew or he’s getting snarked at by lucius, and not in a fun teasing way. like during that whole bit where izzy steals his cigarettes and calls him “twatty” lucius just looks so fucking annoyed and then uncomfortable. and then at the end of the episode izzy is sort of offering him advice and lucius is just sarcastically like “that sounds healthy.” and within this storyline, the point of these scenes isn’t rlly abt the developing and deepening relationship btwn izzy and lucius, it’s abt lucius individually coping w his trauma. izzy in this episode kinda exists in a weird place in the narrative, where he plays a supporting role in two different characters’ (lucius’s and stede’s) storylines without getting a central arc for himself. and both of those two storylines are only really about lucius and stede respectively, izzy is just there as this a static character who imparts wise advice. which is a very weird role for him to take, imo, but on top of that it doesn’t rlly contribute any sense of like, actual bonding btwn izzy and the other two.

and in 2.06 they just enjoy the show izzy puts on. they like listening to him sing. it’s all very cute! but also. i would not say that it shows the crew really cares about izzy?? i was in pit orchestra in high school and all the lead theater kids were always fucking assholes but they were also rlly good singers and it was fun to listen to them. i would mouth along to the words being sung by bitches who seemed to be trying to be sharpay evans irl for some bizarre fucking reason. like, cartoonishly mean girls. so like, the crew listening and dancing to izzy’s song doesn’t rlly sell “the crew loves izzy” to me. if anything, i would say that actually a stronger indicator of the crew loving izzy would be wee john sharing his makeup, and it’s a shame that we don’t get to see this happen. i mean that genuinely, i think that would’ve been a great moment to rlly strengthen izzy’s arc and it just. doesn’t exist on screen. and this isn’t like the finale where we know for a fact that they had to force a 40-minute episode into 30 minutes, Calypso’s Birthday has a runtime WELL under 30 minutes. it would’ve been SO easy to add another like 45 seconds of izzy and wee john getting ready together, but the only moment they show us is izzy walking in and discovering drag for the first time. it feels like the focus of this scene is less about a moment of connection between two characters and more about izzy individually having a gender breakthrough—and that carries on with the rest of the performance, too. bc it’s a performance, it’s everyone looking at izzy, it’s izzy a half step away from the crew as he puts on a show. the narrative framing of all this puts the focus entirely on izzy as a solo act, not on izzy as part of the crew. they like his performance, but we aren’t rlly shown evidence of the crew liking him as a person.

and that’s kinda it for izzy and the crew! up until he’s actively dying in ed’s arms and they’re all in the background silently weeping, at least (and btw, speaking from experience but uhhhh it’s pretty normal to cry when u watch someone die even if u have literally no connection to the person dying). even when they’re helping him back to the ship, ed is the one who notices he’s injured, nobody notices until he’s already giving izzy support. and i fully believe roach flips off izzy’s grave marker with fondness, but that’s also like. the only little personal moment any of them aside from ed has during the funeral. they do all laugh at his pinocchio joke earlier in the ep but idk if that one line can carry the entire weight of “the crew loves izzy” on its own. apparently there’s some shots during the zheng v stede fight where izzy can be seen in the background close to jim and archie??? but like, you can’t tell me a background shot of izzy standing near some crew members is strong textual support for the crew loving him. and i don’t think i need to argue abt any scenes in s1 bc literally every single crew member who was on that boat, ivan and fang included, was about to fucking drown him in the fucking ocean.

there is one single scene that gives actual strong evidence that anyone other than ed likes or cares about izzy. it’s the part at the end of impossible birds when fang is crying after ed shot izzy. so maybe fang specifically loves izzy, even tho izzy used to pull fang’s beard a lot and fang didn’t like it bc it hurt. idk.

here’s the thing tho. in 2.01 the writers use dialogue very effectively to tell us about the kraken era. the crew doesn’t say much, but what the do say tells us a lot: we know that archie thinks the kraken era is all normal pirating stuff, jim felt like the wedding raid (which seems like their only raid on a civilian ship and not a military one) was a step too far, frenchie is Not Okay but he’s doing a fantastic job repressing everything, izzy looks tired but the specific thing echoing in his head right before he starts crying in front of the crew is ed telling him “if you can’t do the job, someone else will.”

and we know fang, who’s known ed for decades, has never seen ed like this. and the specific thing he mentions as something he’s never seen from ed before is not batting an eye when ivan died. meaning that even before meeting stede, fang would’ve expected ed to have some sort of reaction to ivan dying.

and the thing about ivan is that we know next to nothing about him. he has very little dialogue in season one. we don’t even know how long he’s been working with ed—long enough to have at least heard about fang having to put his dog down bc “the love of a pet makes a man weak” when fang joined ed’s ship years ago, even if ivan wasn’t actually there yet at the time—but we do know that watching ed tell ghost stories was apparently the most open and available he’d ever seen ed get. so it doesn’t sound like ivan and ed were especially close. ivan was almost certainly less close to ed than izzy was.

if fang expected to see ed have some sort of reaction to the death of an ordinary crew member (who mightve been working for ed for decades, might’ve been working for him for months, we really can’t say) who wasn’t even that close to ed, seeing ed casually and unflinchingly inflict a life-threatening gunshot to his first mate must’ve been fucking earth-shattering. and interpretation is also supported by what fang actually says while he’s crying at the end of 2.01—it’s not “i can’t stop crying, izzy’s hurt” or “i can’t stop crying, izzy’s going to die.” its “i can’t stop crying, ed shot izzy.” more than the imminent demise of a crew member, fang is shaking and sobbing and traumatized because he can’t believe ed would do that.

and if that feels like a reach, just remember what happens after the leg is cut off, after the crew most likely believes ed shot izzy again, this time 100% fatally: the whole crew is crowded in the hallway, and fang asks “do we think he’s… better?”

fang is not sad about izzy. or if he is, it’s dwarfed by how much more sad fang is about ed.

in conclusion: have fun with ur headcanons i am not the boss of you but also there is less canonical textual evidence of the crew loving izzy than some of y’all seem to think k byeeeee

[nuka]

I love the season 2 that we got SO MUCH. It just boldly went into a whole new direction, with a whole new tone to the series, and it worked so well! And they could’ve stumbled so badly with that budget and episode cut, but they didn’t.

With those cuts, it would’ve been sensible to remove a lot of characters from the show without much explanation. Instead we got a whole strange storyline of Buttons turning into a bird which gets tied to Ed’s journey of change. We got a whole episode of Mary and Anne’s fucked up relationship. We got Archie with her snake cult stories and polycule storyline. We got Zheng’s storyline with her crew and Auntie and Olu. We got Ned Low and Prince Ricky as antagonists. To me, it never felt like anything was taken away from us with season 2. Somehow, we just got more of everything.

Everyone poured so much love and effort and care into making this show. Every little thing, from creating merman Stede piece by piece, to Rhys doing the underwater scenes despite almost drowning in the past, to the improv the cast came up with for the scenes, to Samba spending his days on set just to shoot BTS for us all, to Kristian taking the time to organize WJWs, to how they all treated each other on set. I am in fucking awe of them.

I love everything about the Calypso's Birthday episode except that Ed and Stede did not get to dance. I was so furious when Ned Low attacked just as they were heading to the dancefloor! I calmed myself by thinking, “We'll see them dance in season 3, it’s going to parallel this scene but they’ll actually get to dance and no one attacks them." And then the show got cancelled.

I think the dance would’ve been such a nice, peaceful moment between Ed and Stede, because they’ve been through so much and they didn’t really get to just be with each other in season 2. So yeah that’s the only thing I really mourn about that episode.

And I’m sad that so many scenes with minor characters had to be cut, but Ed and Stede’s story was the main focus and they had to make some tough choices with the rest of the story. Almost everything that I don’t like about season 2 would’ve been fixed if they only had more time to include more moments with the crew and to flesh out the new characters, and if the story had a bit of space to breathe at times.

This is also why I believe in the potential of season 3 so much. They made this kind of magic with a 40% budget cut and 2 episodes less. They could make fucking miracles happen if they were given season 3 with a bigger budget and more episodes.

[bizarrelittlemew]

the saddest line in the trailer

at first I was too distracted by Stede's plunging neckline and gold earring to fully realize why this kept nagging at me but:

"I've been a failure my whole life."

and the way he says it:

as a matter of fact, because he fully believes it – it's an integrated part of his self-image

to comfort someone else (presumably), meaning that even though it is sort of similar to Ed's "I'm not a good person" from s1e6, this scene doesn't seem to be about Stede getting comforted – he is just throwing that line in there

with the follow-up line of "It's not so bad once you get used to it," because he is used to being called a failure by everyone around him, even when he was a kid, so much that he doesn't question it

and yeah, Stede fucks up a lot and can be a bit air-headed/naive and overestimates his abilities (Stede's super high confidence vs. shit self-esteem is a central part of his character), often to the detriment of himself and everyone around him, but his biggest "crime" growing up was simply that he was different and didn't live up to the norms of masculinity. and this is what caused him to be made to feel like a failure by the world around him.

(putting the rest under the cut because I have a lot to say apparently lmao ⬇️)

idk it is just so sad that after everything that happened at the end of season 1, he still echoes his father's and the Badmintons' words when talking about himself (and his own "I'm not a pirate, I'm an idiot" from s1e1). he still has a lot of growth to do.

and while it's good that he embraces his own shortcomings (and I hope he stays a loser in many ways <3) and the show reinforces that you don't have to be perfect to be worthy of love/that you are worthy of love just as you are, it is just. idk SO SAD to hear him say that about himself so earnestly

but do you know who doesn't let Stede self-deprecate?

THIS GUY, FROM THEIR VERY FIRST DAY TOGETHER

from telling Stede he isn't such a terrible pirate (at least he's alive), to not letting Stede call his own ideas stupid, Ed likes Stede for who he is WHILE not letting him talk bad about himself like that.

now we can't know who Stede is talking to in the scene in the trailer, just that it is someone with long dark hair:

and it could be someone else (to me it doesn't look quite like Ed's hair, but the quality/lighting makes it difficult to tell), but if it IS Ed, it has the potential for him to (once again) go against Stede's negative self-talk 😌

I am so interested to see how this scene plays out and I REALLY hope we get a scene mirroring the bathtub scene (even if it's not this one) but with the roles switched ✌️

[diazsdimples]

WIP Wednesday

Hi! I was really hoping to have something new from Single Dads AU to share but I am unfortunately deathly ill (dramatic, I have a chest infection) and my brain has forgotten how words work. So instead, have a little bit of Secret Fic with @hippolotamus, which is being chipped away at!

Tagged by @theotherbuckley, PLEASE go check out her chronic pain Buck snip, it is SO CUTE

As he does this, Buck remembers something else about the show, something Hen had mentioned with a grimace in passing. “Hey, you know they’ve just finished filming the last episode? Feels weird that it’s ending, they’ve been doing it for 22 years now.”  Buck lets out a small chuckle, thinking about all the time Eddie’s dedicated to watching every episode. Eddie’s not usually one to binge watch TV series (or to admit to it at least, Buck’s got a sneaking suspicion he’s been watching Survivor behind Buck’s back), so Eddie sitting down to watch 20something seasons of a singular show is a big deal. “It’s going to be sad to see them go right? Eds?” And there it is. Eddie’s ugly secret. The reason he - a grown ass man in his thirties - is curled up in his bed like a kid scared of the dark, clinging to his husband. He bites his lip and squeezes his eyes shut, tries to control his breathing but it’s no good. A high pitched whine escapes, leading into an undeniable sob.  Eddie buries himself further into Buck’s body, hoping his broad frame will absorb the shaking and blubbering. Buck is the one who freezes this time. He’s figured it out. Because he knows Eddie, the pieces have all clicked together. The lightbulb has turned on.

no pressure tagging @hippolotamus @watchyourbuck @thewolvesof1998 @disasterbuckdiaz @puppyboybuckley @bucksbackwardcap @fortheloveofbuddie @spotsandsocks @aroeddiediaz @daffi-990 @jesuisici33 @steadfastsaturnsrings @wikiangela @buckbuckgoose @exhuastedpigeon @cal-daisies-and-briars @wildlife4life @slightlyobsessedwitheverything @evanbegins @nmcggg @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @rainbow-nerdss @kitteneddiediaz @elvensorceress @epicbuddieficrecs @smilingbuckley @actuallyitsellie @spagheddiediaz @thekristen999

[octoberland]

Invisible

Only TWD would get me to come back here writing my fandom thoughts. It's a landmine because you never know how people will react. I am going to share some deeply personal thoughts. I ask that you treat this vulnerability with the respect that it deserves. Spoilers for tonight's episode. And a trigger warning for my personal experiences with abuse.

I met Carol 14 years ago. It was a time in my life when she was a mirror for me. Meek, scared, abused Carol. The little mouse. Jumping when Ed said jump.

By the time the show aired that year I had extricated myself from my situation. But I was still terrified every day. I mostly didn't sleep at night. When I did sleep, I would prop things against the doors so I could hear if someone came in. I would rarely be out of the house at night. On the occasions I was outside after dark I would be walking with my heart in my throat, beating the loudest of drums in my ears. Every stranger was a potential threat. Every shadow could be him coming back to kill me.

I latched onto Carol in my fear and despair. I understood her. Related to her. Felt inspired by her. I was hers from the moment she bashed Ed's skull in. It was so cathartic watching her do that. I wished I could have that moment in my life.

Like her, people judged me. People blamed me for being with a man like that. Said I must like bad boys. Said I liked the attention. Asked why I didn't just leave. It's all so easy to dissect when you're on the outside.

Unlike Carol I didn't have a walker to take out my abuser. I extricated myself. It was one of the most difficult things I've ever done. And it came with great risk. And I mostly did it alone.

I watched as she grew strong. And I grew strong too. Like her, I learned to fight. To be fair, she was not my only influence there. I have Captain America/Chris Evans to thank for that too. I hope someday I get to tell him that story. But watching her grow was an inspiration.

Like many people, I was moved by her ability to connect with Daryl. You don't understand how hard that can be after abuse. It's been 14 years and I've still not been in another relationship. I may never be again. That kind of abuse leaves an indelible mark on you.

But with him she blossomed. Sexually, emotionally, and just as a human. I admired her ability to do that.

The trauma was still there though. We saw that. Her edges became too sharp. Her distance too cold. But I get it. I really, truly get it.

But through it all her relationship with Daryl remained. They were each other's North Star. Not perfect, but constant.

But the sad truth is, at the end of the day these characters don't belong to us. They are written by flawed humans with personal agendas and like with any long running series, the longer it runs the higher chance for writers to fuck things up.

Before I dive more specifically into tonight's episode and the Book of Carol let me just say that I still love Carol and I still love Daryl and I still love Caryl. If you want to stop reading here just know that Carol remains an icon to me for very personal reasons. But that is part of why I'm writing this.

Potential spoilers beyond the cut.

The writing this season is sloppy, imho. And this is where I put my writer hat on and try to look at things more objectively. It seems like Gimple is mining the past because it's "cool" and not because he actually wants to address any long standing trauma that Carol has.

Everyone's trauma journey is different and I get that. But after 14 years I doubt that Carol is going to start panicking when going into a barn. In fact, we've already seen her entering barns in early seasons without any issues. I wish the show had consulted some trauma experts. They could have provided some examples of things that might actually set her off. Like seeing a little girl walker. Or meeting a child named Sophia. And speaking of that, I know Carol is supposed to be tough and sneaky and all that but the episode where she lied about her daughter to get the plane really bothered me. If the memory of her daughter is so traumatic I feel like she would not use her daughter like that.

This reunion episode was a missed opportunity to explore trauma in a more meaningful way. It was a missed opportunity for Carol and Daryl to have some truly meaningful conversations. I know I've said this before but she FLEW ACROSS THE OCEAN. DURING AN APOCALYPSE. And all he basically did was grunt one liners at her and lie about how he never stopped trying to get back to her. These two deserve to have a real conversation where they talk about how incredible what she did was. They need to talk about what that means for each of them. And I'm not even talking about romance. Daryl has never had anyone do anything like that for him. Does he understand how profound an act that was? If he ever had any doubt as to how much Carol cared for him this should have erased it. And for Carol, this could also be a wake up call for her too. While being hard and cunning is good for survival, this is an opportunity for her to be vulnerable. To express what he means to her. Or to maybe even face any codependence she has with Daryl.

I feel bad what happened to Isabelle. It kind of feels like an FU to her character. As much as I love Caryl I'm not in support of fridging women for a ship or for man pain. I'm glad we got to see her and Carol together but I wish we could have seen them together a little longer. Again, there is a missed opportunity for some really interesting conversations.

I can't help but feel that this show is suffering under the leadership of male writers and showrunners. There's such nuance to be had here and it's being funneled down to base tropes. Genet is evil because her husband died. Carol is just now having flashbacks to something that happened a decade ago because we need her to grow emotionally and we can't think of another way to do that without mining her motherhood. Isabelle has to die because God forbid two adults actually have a conversation about emotions.

I honestly can't guess where this series is going right now. Every time I think I know what is going to happen something else happens instead. Normally this would be a good thing but here it just feels sloppy. Are they dicking around Caryl? Will they kill her? Or him? Or do they plan for this to go into more seasons? I haven't a clue. But it feels like whiplash, like they are trying to make the characters grow too quickly to fit an agenda without doing the real work people need to do. A hug from an old lady won't cure trauma.

I think mostly I just wish Carol and Daryl would have a real conversation before all this is over.

Anyway, that's my rant. I did like the old married couple joke in the car. And I'm glad Carol's not dead. But I hope we get to see some real connection.

[emptymasks]

so there's an interview with david jenkins up on gizmodo about izzy's death and i have feelings. again.

the interviewer is a big fan of izzy. and jenkins is upset that they are upset about izzy's death. i know he probably doesn't want to make people really upset with izzy's death. but how could he not have known how beloved izzy was. perhaps he didn't realise how many more people would come to love him over this season.

trying to console the interviewer by saying "ghosts exist in this world" since when? buttons turning into a bird might not even be canon, it's left as this maybe, so don't make up and give false hope that he could come back as a ghost. that feels cruel. i know he's trying to make the interviewer feel better but man. don't make promises you can't keep.

of course he took it hard.

izzy didn't get much time to belong though. i love that speech he gave. but for him to get punished for it. to kill of the character with the most growth because it doesn't matter because he's not as important as ed. izzy deserved better than to a plot device for ed to grow.

'to see their friend go' uh.. i don't think we got to the point where stede and izzy were friends yet. sadly. because he died too soon for that to happen. i think being buried near them, and without his ring that they took of his corpse, is selfish on ed's part.

i don't know how this is kind. i don't know how you can describe this as kind.

i... am almost laughing since i feel so delirious reading that. you wanted to avoid killing your gays by.. killing one of your gays. right. an.. upbeat note.. i.. how.. did you really think no one liked izzy that much? maybe he didn't expect so many new izzy hands during season 2 but...

again the interviewer gets upset about izzy's death. jenkins tries to console and comfort them but couldn't. i can't believe he didn't see this coming. i'm sorry he's sad too. though surely he wanted people to be sad? to feel sad about izzy's death? maybe he didn't think anyone would take it this hard. but i'm sure con could have told them different given the stories i know people have told him about how much izzy means to them. i think it's wrong to call the show homophobic, i think the show is still a great piece of lgbt+ representation. and i also think the ending was rushed and izzy's death wasn't fair (and not enough people accept that ed abused him and was his abuser and no one should have to give their abuser closure) but i think if he had to die it could have been defending the crew, and not being stupid enough to let ricky have a gun, because that didn't feel very in character. i just. i'm with the interviewer. i'm not mad at jenkins i'm just disappointed and upset. and i know he didn't mean any of this maliciously, and yes i know it's all fictional, but people are still allowed to complain and be hurt. no matter how stupid you think that might seem. there's no need to get angry at people who are upset about izzy's death. these are just my thoughts and feelings and there's no ill will too anyone who disagrees with me.

i'm sad at you.

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

JENNA Well, this next scene, I mean, if you wanted to make a lady sob at her desk at 2:30 in the afternoon on a Tuesday. Congratulations. Mission accomplished. I watched this, and I wasn't the same for the rest of the day. This is when Andy came in with his guitar, Lorelai. He wants to sing his goodbye. 

ANGELA He's a performer. And that's how he wants to say goodbye. 

JENNA Yeah, There was a fan question from Alexandra in Tasmania, Australia, who said, I love the scene where Andy sings I Will Remember You by Sarah McLachlan. And I think it's such a great choice for Andy to sing it in a normal singing voice and not his usual kind of acapella, theatrical singing voice. Was that scripted or did Ed Helms choose to sing that way? Well, Alexandra, it was scripted. It was scripted that the song is good and that everyone in the office is impressed. Steve Burgess said that that song cost $25,000 for us to be able to do. And I think that when I watched this scene, it brought back so many deep personal memories from shooting it. And I really was not the same the rest of the day. And then I dreamt about the show that night. I dreamt. Does this ever happened to you? I have dreams where we're back on set and we're making more episodes. Like we're making Season ten. 

ANGELA Yeah. Yeah. I've had that similar dream that I am walking from hair and makeup to get miked. Yeah. To go onto stage. And the stage is right there. And I'm looking at our desks and I'm about to walk into the bullpen and I'm getting miked and it's so real, so real. 

JENNA Watching this for this rewatch like triggered that and I ended up having a dream. 

ANGELA Also in my dream, we all pick up right where we left off. 

JENNA Yes, exactly. 

ANGELA Like no one has to get reacquainted with their character. We're instantly those people again. 

JENNA Yeah. It's not like those anxiety dreams were like, no, I don't know my lines. It's always like this pleasurable. I'm getting emotional thinking about it. I'm going to move to a fan question from Matty R in Kansas City, who said, When Andy sings to the office, we see lots of emotional reactions from the staff. Were any of the emotions we see real reactions from the cast being sad about the show ending? Well, Matty, we shot this at the end of the day. On Friday. So the end of the day, at the end of the week, it was the last group scene we shot for this episode and it was deeply emotional. 

ANGELA It was very emotional. You know, we just all knew that there was just a few more weeks left at this point, and Andy was really saying goodbye. This character is saying goodbye. And right before we did the scene, there were two camera setups. There was a master shot to get everyone, and then there was going to be a close up of me and Rainn as Dwight and Angela have their exchange. And Jeff came up to me and said, Save it for your close up. So feel the emotion, but really let it come through on your dialog line. And sometimes that's hard to calibrate because you just start to feel it when you feel it. But I do remember this scene. I was so emotional. I don't know how many takes we did, but I had to hold that for the whole time. 

JENNA Wow. Yeah, you know, this was one of our last kind of everybody bullpen scenes because we knew that in the next episode, Andy was off pursuing his dream. And we don't see him until, like, the very end. And so, yeah, it felt like, wow. 

ANGELA It felt like people's story arcs were wrapping up. Yeah. And this scene was a very tangible moment of that. 

[ragingstillness]

The Boys thoughts 4x5:

Homelander’s conversation with Ryan: felt realistic to his character but also yikes (as always). Acknowledgement of his manipulation of Ryan +1 Acknowledgement of his own trauma +1 Equivalence of his experience as a deeply privileged white man to slavery -100

Ryan getting the PA to slap the Snyder parody: one of those delightful moments that The Boys does so well where I feel both positive and negative emotions about it. Do I think the Snyder dude deserved to be slapped by his PA? Absolutely. Do I think it’s a good thing that Ryan thinks the ultimate penance is receiving corporal punishment? No I don’t. I do like that Ryan actually let the victim do the punishment and receive the apology rather than white knighting about it. And of course I am deeply aware of how ironic it is that Homelander is helping Ryan stand up for sexual harassment victims when Homelander raped Ryan’s mom in a similar power imbalance situation.

Genuinely feel sad for Ashley that she lost her Ben Shapiro parody submissive (at least partially because I found it hilarious), but she got him back and that felt very earned.

I knew that Ashley and A-Train did more to Homelander’s apartment! Haha I can’t wait to find out what it is.

Man no one is having a great time or talking about it this episode.

Always happy to see more Esposito, love him as the ultimate traitor. Just betraying everyone left and right.

Not super fond of how they’re making it seem like Annie was wrong morally for beating up Firecracker. For falling for it? Sure. For reacting with anger? No.

Big fan of the V-ed up animals. Hysterical and very fun.

“Do you even know who Annie is anymore?” Um has more time passed that they’re showing? Because didn’t Annie decide to use the Starlight name again like two episodes ago?

I like that we got to see Hughie solve a bad situation on his own this time. He’s really coming into his own. Also, I like that we got another chance to say goodbye to his dad. Still sus that Hughie’s mom knows what V is.

Finally we got to see some of Simon Pegg’s comedic chops too. Him spinning around inside that guy had me laughing like nothing else.

Butcher taking that scientist captive? Honestly that doesn’t feel so much like a return to the dark side as just something his character would always be willing to do. Lest we forget he kidnapped Translucent, tortured him, pumped him for information, and would have killed him if Hughie didn’t get there first. I do feel like he’s relying less on other people which is a backslide from his character development but true to where his character was in the first season too.

Not a lot of sister sage the episode, glad to see she saw through firecracker’s fake inclusion attitude. I do feel like she’s growing closer and closer to dropping Homelander as an ally, something I suspected she would do from the minute they teamed up.

No Colin but I’m sure that’s gonna bite them in the ass.

What are the rules of Victoria’s headpopping? We saw her do it a little but there were many more opportunities. Does she need to charge up? Line of sight? Eye contact?

I agree that Victoria turned her daughter into a monster but only because she taught her not to value human lives and also because she turned her into some version of Parasyte: The Maxim.

Not a fan of Frenchie turning himself in. That’s not going to do anything, now they’re gonna have to break him out, and this show’s morality was never black and white enough that it could look at his actions and be like “you finally did the right thing”

Man when they all meet up with Hughie again he’s gonna have some stories to tell.

Side note: I am utterly amazed that now the secret of Compound V is out that no other country is sending like every spy in their arsenal to steal some. Considering how easily Hughie and the Boys can get it, it isn’t very difficult. Take one look at the nuclear arms race and tell me that every country in the world wouldn’t be quietly declaring all out war on Vought to get their hands on some.

[thetragicallynerdy]

Okay so, I made a thread about this over on twitter, and thought I'd drop it here too. OFMD Season 2 spoilers ahead. An idea that I've seen a few times and felt I needed to yell about is the idea that OFMD is now ableist, and that it is wrong to like and enjoy it as a show. As a queer disabled person, it's something that pisses me off so, so much. I'm not going to defend everything that happens in OFMD. But I am going to say that it is one of the best shows I know for showing both a broad range of disabilities, and presenting those disabilities in a largely neutral light. We have multiple amputees, multiple people with chronic pain , multiple characters with mental health issues, and more. We have Pete's speech impediment, Wee John's back, Lucius' finger, Jackie's hand, Ed's mental health, Stede's mental health - and yeah, Izzy's leg. The way that these disabilites are presented is important to me - because they're just another part of the person, not good or bad. There are obviously impacts and things to work through - Ed's mental health being one, Izzy's leg being another - but they ARE worked through. Ed's suicidality - which spans over two entire seasons - is addressed. So is the moments of Izzy's. Izzy gets support and a prosthetic, Lucius gets support and a prosthetic, we see Wee John sitting down in most scenes which would support his back. Disability isn't just ignored, or played off for laughs, but neither is it made the entire plot point. Izzy is just as much of a badass as before. Lucius' finger doesn't stop his work. Jackie's hand doesn't make her less fearsome. Ed's mental health (and Izzy's, and Stede's) don't make them less deserving of love. None of the character's disabilities do. In fact, we see two disabled characters - Lucius and Pete - getting married at the end of the season. And that's important. It's so important!!

If you're sad and upset that Izzy died, that's incredibly valid. But to say that it "shows that disabled characters have nothing to live for" - when his death wasn't related to his disability at all - is so incredibly offensive. I am permanently disabled, to the point that I cannot work full time. I have seen posts about my disability saying that it would be better to die than to have it. But nothing - NOTHING - in OFMD suggests that it would've been better for Izzy to die than to have an amputation. Instead he is supported, encouraged, and loved. He is given a carefully crafted prosthetic, and given space to learn how to use it. He gets support, and his mental health improves. He is given a beautiful life. And then he dies. But his death is not about his disability. I'm going to repeat that - his death is NOT about his disability. Nor is it about being queer. It's shitty, random luck. I'm sure there are people who are going to say that the writers, simply by having a disabled queer character die, are ableist and queerphobic. But nothing we see in the show supports that. They show queer joy and delight and love and happy endings over and over again. They show care and support of disabilities, over and over again. And they specifically show queer disabled people living beautiful lives, over and over again. One character's death doesn't undo that. I'm sorry that your favourite character died. I really, truly am. It's a devastating feeling. I'm sorry that it hurts. But if you're taking it as a sign that the show is saying queer disabled people have no right to live? Then you're ignoring the rest of the show.

You're ignoring all the beautiful queer disabled characters we see, and the messages that the show tells us about them. You're ignoring the beautiful life and redemption that Izzy got. And yeah, you're being offensive as hell to queer disabled people. Sorry, you are.

And if you're queer and disabled and can't see a queer disabled character die - that's incredibly valid. I understand. However, that doesn't mean the show or writers hate you, or hates us, or wants you to die. They've shown us over and over again that actually, they love us.

Also - would you be this pissed if it was any other disabled character who died? Probably not.

I think it's also really important to have stories where disabled people are treated like people. And yeah, that means that sometimes we die. Because that happens in life, too. Same with queer people.

I don't really have a satisfying conclusion to this. I'm just queer and disabled, and really tired of seeing it said that it's now morally wrong to like this show. It's not. I'm queer, disabled, and I see more disability pride and support in this show than most others.

So yeah, thank you to OFMD for beautiful representations of disability, and queerness. It's a show that makes me feel seen - and that's really important.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s2 episode 18 thoughts

zoo episode! sad zoo episode.

but. i was giggling. because our very serious agents were forced to say lines like "you think it was an invisible elephant?" and i was laughing!!! sue me!! we can hold space in our hearts for the sentiments that both the sad animal story is sad AND ALSO the thought of them doing investigation work at the zoo is comical. like the tiger is INVISIBLE.

okay. from the top we start.

a janitor is grooving. his partner tells him to stop. i say, keep grooving, man. you deserve it.

dancing has been interrupted!!! stuff is exploding and crashing and we hear elephant noises?? invisible elephant.....? that can BECOME visible?

it seems while in invisible it went a bit sicko mode as the kids say and then came back to visibility mode down the road

(where did renting an elephant for this episode fit into the s2 budget....)

so elephant has been spotted. a family calls the cops. and i understand the sentiment but i'm not sure the cops can do a whole lot about the elephant situation.

NOOO a child is crying as the elephant is dying in the road... this will be a core memory for those poor girls

(elephant actor is really selling it though... emmy nomination deserved)

back to the scene where the janitors saw things explode. mulder jumps out the window and i can't explain why it was really funny lmao

mulder is convinced that the elephant being found dead some miles away is related to this scene of destruction. and yeah, the dead guy DID have an elephant footprint on him. but no one saw an elephant and the janitors were very much there the whole time. so what's the truth?

this is so silly. i'm laughing.

mulder's explaining his theories and scully deadpans "an invisible elephant?" and i'm laughinggggg. can you imagine an elephant making a huge scene but somehow the witnesses just managed to miss the giant creature responsible.

the zookeeper, whose name is ed, arrives at the scene. scully asks about the dead elephant, and ed corrects her use of the elephant's pronouns, which made me think he was an ally.

(later we learn that he was beating all the animals, so this is decidedly un-allied behavior. ally certificate revoked)

the elephant is named ganesha- hey, i understood that.

mulder says he's heard of the "elephant rebellion" phenomenon, and asks if this is an example. yeah of course this man knows about the elephant rebellion. "fucking nerd", i wrote in my notes.

(actually, i am aware that this season aired in 1996, and the infamous Hawaiian elephant incident was 1994. the phrase "elephant rebellion" sounds very niche and nerdy in 2024, but at the time i image this was still very fresh in the world's minds, and part of a wider reckoning on how animals are treated for the sake of entertainment, and this episode is commentary upon that. i was not around for this national discussion, but i did watch askamortician's video on the incident, which is very good by the way. i have mostly grown up in a world free of animals in circuses and with zoos as conservation agents, so interesting to get glimpses into the discussions that led to the shaping of the world i live in)

but then we see the zoo!!! zoo time!!! there are penguins. i saw penguins like that at the zoo once :)

they go to talk to the naturalist who is basically like "idk how the elephant got out" and i'm thinking, girl shouldn't you be... more invested in this?? like an elephant died. ur not even shedding a tear. i would be in mourning.

they see where the elephant was staying when she wasn't on display, and it's frankly awful. scully asks why it was so small, mulder notices chains on the floor, and she says it was leftover from the 1940's, and that ed is treating them poorly, and i understand why this and other elephants have chosen violence

the folks from a radical anti-captivity group are protesting the whole situation. and she refers to them by some acronym that mulder immediately understands, which is further evidence that he must listen to npr or something. my professor that knows everything all the time listens to npr so i'm guessing that is what mulder does too.

meetup time with the dude leading the protest! his name is kyle, and he is saying that no animals should be in captivity, and he often kidnaps animals from zoos to let them go... and i'm not sure if this is a great idea?? because if an elephant has been raised in captivity its whole life, is it gonna know how to be in the jungle?? idk i am not a scientist.

this episode is suuuuper fuzzy and has a very vhs quality to it... i bet y'all were sleeping on this episode, huh? i'm guessing there wasn't as much effort placed into de-fuzzing it because it was about invisible animals and not one of the "hard hitters" of the season. but i think it's camp and i'm seated.

so kyle reveals that ed, the zoo guy, is treating his animals awfully at this point, which is where i formally revoked his ally status. and he says that the naturalist is too busy being sued over her gorilla to really focus on making the zoo more humane.

yeah, you heard that: she "saved" a gorilla and took it home, and now the government of the country she took it from wants it back.

"i thought you said she saved this gorilla?" scully asks, and i dissolve into further fits of laughter, because that is such a funny line out of context and even in context.

well, she "saved" the gorilla by bringing it home and sticking it in a cage, so kyle isn't pleased by the whole ordeal.

so, what to make of these anti-captivity activists? mulder says he thinks they're all talk and not really apart of the whole crime, but scully says she thinks they are behind the elephant's fate, and will release another animal to get the zoo shut down. this is a deep philosophical difference.

he leaves and says he is going to talk to the animals, because i knew that was the type of guy he is

(he's actually lying, though. well, sort of, because he's calling his buddies at the lone gunman, that conspiracy magazine he is involved in somehow. and it's a video call using a camera and a projector, or as i described it in my notes, "a biblically accurate zoom")

his pals thinks its related to the nearby UFO hot spot, and offer this fun fact:

"no animal at the zoo has ever brought a pregnancy term" <- and yeah. i hit pause and yelled "WHAT" so quickly. hey. what's going on. are the aliens getting involved in their reproductive cycles??

frohike, the strange man who is always hitting on scully, hears mulder's phone ring and adds "if that's the lovely agent scully, let her know i've been working out" and i sentence him to a sentence of 10,000 years in the dungeons. (and this is a reduced sentence for his quick thinking in sneaking out her blood work when she was in coma mode)

she's calling to let him know that someone from the anti-captivity organization is breaking into the zoo!!! not a very good look for their cause!!! he climbs a fence to break in, and she looks around cautiously before doing the same. she is normally a ruler follower, after all.

where is this dude going?? to the... lions? he's setting up a camera?

ed the zookeeper has materialized behind scully, who explains she was following someone else, and then they go off into a warehouse area

but the activist dude is setting up his camera- probably just to record their poor conditions rather than anything nefarious, i think- when BAM! flash of light! terrible ruckus!!! tiger is invisible...?

activist man, you are going to be EATEN!!! and the camera is rolling while this happens!!!!

scully's trying to talk to kyle, the head of this whole organization, who is saying he doesn't know why the dude broke into the zoo, and he had nothing to do with it, and she says that if she finds out he was involved in getting that dude eaten by a tiger that she will have him charged

mulder comes to get her, and it's very cute.

she is mad!!!! "you know, that guy really pisses me off" she says, and mulder asks if she's calmed down- bad move, let her be angry- but he tells her that the video showed the attacker was INVISIBLE! even though she examined the body and it was CLEARLY mauled to death!!!! even more frustration ensues.

mulder decides he must question the gorilla... he is so open minded :)

(the gorilla has been taught sign language, so this is a thing you can actually do. but for a guy big into aliens, i don't think talking to a gorilla is really out of the picture, even if there was no known method of communication)

he asks her a few questions and gets very vague answers, learning that the gorilla really wanted a baby, and i'm like, where is this going... he says he is going to need scully's help and i'm thinking... is he going to have her give the gorilla a pregnancy test.....

not quite! it is ELEPHANT AUTOPSY TIME!!!

he is watching all this go on from above and commenting and NOT soiling his pristine suit by getting inside the elephant guts which made me laugh. just watch 'em do the dirty work big guy. i guess he wouldn't know what the hell he was looking at anyway. but with all the other random shit he knows maybe he WOULD know how to identify elephant pregnancy.

and his hunch is correct: scully says the elephant had been pregnant, delivering this news in very fancy medical terms while her face and clothes are covered in elephant gore. oh yeah baby. that's fbi work.

(she is so brave because i would Not have been able to do any work with elephant blood on my face)

okay okay now the tiger that got out has been tracked to a building... and the naturalist really really does NOT want to have to shoot him... but ed the animal beater does, and he kills the tiger!!!!!! what is he hiding....

this poor naturalist, who i am suspicious of, is just taking L after L, and dead tiger is not helping

and GUESS WHAT? tiger was pregnant at one point, too!!! even though there were no efforts to make that happen!!!! how could this be??

"what do you know about alien abduction?" he asks her, entirely serious. she laughs and we see his deadpan face. it never gets old seeing people think he is deeply strange and unusual.

he proposes that perhaps the aliens are taking the pregnant animals and their embryos, and then dropping them back down on earth, which the naturalist describes as "the most ridiculous thing i've ever heard". she has not opened her mind to the idea of the space-time continuum turning them invisible when they come back.

despite the hostile reception to his theories, he watches intently while she asks more questions to the gorilla in sign language. but as this is going down, she is given an order to put the gorilla into custody. another L.

faced with the thought of losing her gorilla, she goes to kyle, who she begs for help, and when he says that she should let the gorilla go back into the wild, she yells "she's MINE, kyle" which is a lot. and he refuses to help. honestly he was kinda rude about it but i understand sticking to your morals.

but he seems to change his mind, because he comes to the zoo at night, calling out for her. and i'm thinking, no, an invisible animal is gonna eat you!!!! but this isn't what happens... something FALLS ON HIM and KILLS HIM!!!! huh???

scully figures out that kyle and the naturalist knew each other, and asks if she went over to his office to ask for help, which she denies. because she is a liar. and she is also deeply mad, and says "why don't you ask agent mulder, he seems to have a novel theory... maybe it was alien abduction" okay queen this is even ruder like he is trying to HELP you

mulder thinks that SHE killed kyle so she could keep the gorilla... which would be tea...

he investigates the cage and he uses a pen to avoid making any fingerprints... will be employing this tactic if i am ever at a crime scene investigation....

he sees ed, the trainer slash animal beater taking off, with guns!!!

back in her office, the naturalist is packing up all the things from her office, including a framed photo of her smooching the gorilla... (sabrina brier voice) oh!

scully is like well ur actually not gonna leave right away. because it looks like kyle was kinda murdered. and she says it was an accident, ed was scared and hit him with a cattle prod. and out of desperation, she gave ed the gorilla. THE ANIMAL BEATER?? you gave HIM your precious baby??? girl.... these decisions.....

back at a warehouse he tracked down ed to, mulder is holding him at gunpoint, which he is remarkably good at doing

the gorilla is going ham because she is in a weird and dark place and mulder says ed, you're gonna have to tranquilize her... but when they open the door, he doesn't shoot and instead leaves mulder in the room with an outraged gorilla!!!! no, mulder, we all shout!! she pummels him, and he doesn't seem to know sign language, so there is a immovable language barrier!!!!

but she backs off from pummeling him, which is good, because gorillas are horrific and CAN kill you.

(and i semi-recently saw a gorilla at the zoo so i'm looking at this one, and i'm trying to figure out if it's a real creature or a dude in a suit... pls someone feel free to share what the truth is. i mean if they got an elephant actor maybe they could hire a gorilla one too... but it looks off. kind of like a guy in a suit. so i'm thinking about that episode of spongebob with the scary guy in a gorilla suit. which was honestly a scary episode!!! but i digress. mulder locked in with gorilla)

OH. LIGHT FLASH! alien time....?

he wakes up on the floor with a bloody head from gorilla pummeling, and scully bursts in, trying to get him to stay still because there is a big bleeding wound on his head, a place you do not want a big wound to be. she is really doing her best to wrangle him and take a look, but he is too wiggly for this.

the naturalist is at the scene, and he does the sign language the gorilla did back to her, which was quite good. if i saw a gorilla do sign language after it beat me i would not remember how she moved its hands. good memory on that mulder guy.

they get a call for an animal in a field, and of course, it is the gorilla, who was hit by a car, and the naturalist sobs into her... fur? hair? as she dies. a tragic end to a gorilla life.

mulder wraps the case up, asking the hard hitting questions: are aliens stealing zoo animals to breed them and steal the embryos, and then preserve them? is it archival or conservationist in nature? he gets very philosophical, as he always does when writing a report. and i can imagine skinner reading this and saying "... okay" and then not saying anything else.

so, what did i think? well, i think they aren't gonna want to recreationally visit a zoo for a while, which kills that one fantasy of mine, but don't worry, i'll make them go to a museum instead. and if there is museum related trauma in a future episode we can work around that.

honestly though, was this episode the best? nah. but was it campy? yeah. the aliens made the tiger invisible, dude. how could you not love that?

i do think this episode was trying to partake in the growing discussion of animal captivity and ethics, especially in the wake of the elephant incident of 1994, and i'm not sure if it really takes a stance beyond "hurting animals is bad". i suppose if anything it comes off looking like it supports the anti-zoo agenda, which is still something that is in the public discourse. i know because i follow a lot of zoos on instagram and there is always someone in the comments saying that the creatures should be free and then someone else countering that they are super endangered and actually he is doing just fine in his cage, eating an appropriately designed cake for his needs. but that discourse hasn't left the public sphere, so it's interesting to see it represented here.

and maybe aliens ARE interested in conservation. i would personally just take the whole animals rather than stealing their embryos and leaving the creatures on the side of the highway, but what do i know? not much in terms of tigers.

i liked seeing scully get pissed off, i thought that was really funny. but overall, this episode was more intersting to me in terms of cultural commentary and outlandish plot than character devlopment. which is fine!!! we need a break from the heaviness of the last two episodes.