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lilacstro · 4 months ago

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"so you can't sleep? baby I know, that's that me espresso"~ pac: who's up thinking about you

hey y'all, i hope you are fine. It had been a while since I made a pac, so I saved a few drafts that I will be posting. This song is really cool though :D I had a few new decks and I really wanted to use them

so an advice for all of you before you even start to read regardless of your situation: YOU CANNOT RELATE TO DESPERATIONN

she is so pretty btw <3

decks used: spirit speaks tarot, cupid says oracle

paid readings are open :)

pile 1 pile 2 pile 3

support me on ko-fi :)

Pile 1

Before I even started I had a feeling what if this is someone who pile 1 went out on a date with recently lol. Now hold up, it isn't like everyone must have had date, and there are messages that should resonate. I feel the VERY first thing I am most definitely sure of, is that this someone BRAND NEW. I feel they see you like a muse, like a star. Either you, or them are most definitely introverted, and it is making things a little difficult either way. With the star card here, I have a feeling that this could be someone who you might have not met yet, but they are fantasizing about, Jimin's new song's lyrics came up "We never met, but she's all I see at night...Who is my heart waiting for" my heart is racing and I am becoming extremely excited, like the first feeling of love. This is someone who would bring balance in your life, would give and receive equally. Some of you could have anxious attachment styles, although I would say healing it inside, but this person would not let you go, like hold you in a tight hug. I have a feeling some of you might still be holding onto the past, and there is a CLEAR message to release it, because it is confusing this person, especially if you are able to tell who this might be, and for those who cannot, this will just hinder the energy. This person gonna make you feel your worth, so so much more, somewhat like an Empress. I am stumbling on my words lmao and idk i feel excited, this is new beginning feeling, I am so happy. There is a chance you might resist this connection out of fear of repeating the past, maybe you are even emotionally closed off after what happened in the past, but if you are able to discern, let this person in. Their is a lot of hope and sweet wishful energy, and a fun new start that would complete you overall. There is a lot of major arcana here, so this is indeed something that the divine will orchestrate themselves.

Messages:

I want you (awww) I am confused (this is especially if you are talking about your past excessively with someone who you suspect could like you, or you are closed off or clinging to the past) take the road less trodden I just want to know why I feel the same Don't give up on us :( this pile has peak espresso energy man you have this person in awe regardless

Pile 2

This could be someone who wasted your time I feel. I also heard a message ping in even though there was no message, so this person is either thinking of reaching out or would but via messages. Do you guys wanna know, how suddenly the energy switched in pile 2. Pile 1's happy butterfly feelings feel anxious here, upsetting. My throat feels warm, there is a chance you have spoke, or I may say argued a lot with this person. Super clear, this is someone who did you dirty. Someone who is up at night thinking about you, crying not because of espresso but depresso lol. There is a lot of tears kind of imagery in this deck, and I am seeing so much of that here. This is someone who you gave away a lot to without balance. Someone you walked away from after a lot of heavy feelings. Someone that filled you with rage and maybe burnt your hopes away. It feels like you were looking at this person, giving them so much, and they were busy looking somewhere else, doing something else. There is so much of emotional disbalance inside this person and could have been in your connection too. Someone who is choosing you after everything has been spilled. I feel there could have been a divine intervention in this connection to stop your energy from flowing to this person, probably they ghosted you, or went away or things crumbled entirely overnight or maybe you had an overnight epiphany. There is some justice that was brought to this unequal flow of balance. This person wants to make things right by choosing you and yada yada but I would just stop here, this feels so much guilt and heavy of a feeling. I feel the communication with this person is not there at all. This is someone who is in fact wanting to reach out to you and talk to you, but too scared that the fire they set in you would burn them away(damn I got poetic)

Messages:

I want you I just want to know why be patient heal yourself first (this more so is an extra message, that is from spirit I feel, because I found this at the last slipping out of the deck) i want to give up why am i crying

Pile 3

The energies here are similar to Pile 2 and I tried reshuffling the cards all over twice. It feels confusing to me. This feels this was chaotic, everything at once, there is pain but love and anger and resentment but desire irdk what is up with this pile. I have a feel there could have been a situation where one of you went away from your home or left something behind to do your own thing, while that may hurt this is something that would lead to a much greater growth for whoever this is, you or them. This is giving me situationship vibes. There is a chance either of you are trying to reach out but there is some disconnection, like you are watching a video and midway your internet is gone and you take a while to realize why am I even looking at my phone and reloading there is no internet in the first place. This could be someone who you have a fight with or argument or some kind of separation which to me feels temporary because it is happy ending in this pile. There is a chance both of you are being really in your feels, I may say, overdramatic in some ways, like oh, we are never going to be.

Lyrics from Taylor Swift’s song gold rush came up “ and then it fades into a gray of my day old tea , cause we could never be”

But both of you want each other, there was a clear message that tried sliding out over and over and it said “the feelings are mutual”, so while there could be some resemblance to pile 2, this situation is much more complex and layered. There is a temporary disconnect and you guys would re connect again, and I am feeling this strongly. There is some fixing going on. Consider the previous example of an off internet connection, but you just find out that it is a temporary service error and though it would take a little time and interrupt my experience, this would make it more stable and stronger, so I can wait. Strong Leo moon vibes, maybe something happened around that time or maybe you could have this placement or the other person.

Ahh, I do not even know if I did a good job in putting things down but I just feel it, there is a lack of words I feel, and a lot of confusion. I also think both of you do miss each other. I also feel some of you are probably even, maybe choking your feelings or intuitions? Maybe feeling a flood of things that you are just keeping to your self. This person or you or both could be trying to find each other in the most mundane things, in everyone they meet and everytime they might see messy hall room

I do not know if these messages were delivered in the most accurate way tbh, there is such a flood of feelings here.

Messages: this was meant to be There are no what ifs take a moment to breathe it starts from you no more secrets.

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wtftarot · 7 months ago

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How can you navigate your life from here on?

Thank you, @lifeofaie for suggesting this reading, I really loved the idea.

Listen, I fuckin love a good road trip, ok? And navigating on a road trip ain't that different from navigating your life. Great music and shitty snacks. Wrong turns and detours that end up being half the fun and the whole story later. Arriving later than you planned or having plans changed entirely. How it always seems like the more you try to plan and control things the more they go off the rails. What do you need to keep in mind on this road trip called life? (yes I know how dorky that was, nope I don't care, yes all of these are gonna be heavy on road trip metaphors) Consider this reading, stopping and asking a local for directions and I promise not to lead you to the den of a serial killer. What is your inner compass saying? Is it time to make a rest stop? Let's fuck around and find out.

as always this reading is for entertainment purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice in any capacity. Remember, use common sense, and don't be a dumbass.

Pick either the Road Stretching On, The Road to Anywhere and Nowhere, or the Road to Ol' Kentucky and head on to your reading

The Road That Stretches On

The Tower, Seven/ Swords Rx and the Magician on the bottom of the deck.

This reading is HEAVY. Some of y'all who came to this reading are dealing with some heavy mental shit. I am not a mental health professional, please seek one out. Tarot is awesome and helpful but it is not therapy.

Take a breath. I'm so fuckin serious right now. You need to breathe and clear your mind even for a second. Don't ya just love how many people come to readings and then ignore the simplest advice given? To just take a breath? ( I love y'all, but some of y'all need a lil call out every now and then) The reason why I'm pushing y'all to stop and breathe is cause y'all's mind never. fuckin. stops. does it? Never. I had to restart this reading three times, cause I just kept getting wrapped up in y'all's anxiety spiral. And, I know it's hard but if you never make a conscious decision to try and slow down and give yourself a second, it's not gonna happen. Human brains are mostly auto-pilot and if you don't try and take the reins every once in a while it'll just keep doing what it's doing. Y'all are incredibly overwhelmed by making decisions for your future. It's like you see your future like the picture you chose, a road stretching on forever that can lead to anywhere depending on the turns you make but for you there's something that could be lurking in each turn. Something you're not seeing and that is terrifying to you. Now the main contender here looks to be anxiety about the state of the world, climate change, wars, pollution, famine, natural disasters, and on and on. Like y'all seem to be thinking what's the point, everything's going to shit. Listen, I'm gonna try to be gentle but when I tell y'all I'm very passionate about this, I am downplaying so fuckin hard. A lot of people fall into this overwhelm, it's not your fault. Governments and corporations put a shit ton of effort into keeping us feeling overwhelmed, cause overwhelmed people are too drained to put up a real fight. The point of trying is you being happy. That is worth it. The point is you can spread that joy. The point is to make a difference while you can. The point is that yeah, the world may be going to hell in a handbasket and you're just one person but you are a whole ass person. Who doesn't have to take this shit lying down. You want to live your life but are terrified of what might happen if you do. You feel like the world is a scary place and it can be sometimes, but you're so scared of truly stepping into the world, you never let yourself be or do much. It's like y'all are super fuckin excited for the road trip but are so scared of what may be around any turn, you just keep going on the same road letting it take you wherever it does. To get anywhere you want to go you have to make some choices. Yea, they may not always turn out how you planned but here's the thing: You will be okay. What you need to do to navigate your life? I'm sorry, y'all are gonna hate this advice but trust yourself. Sweetie, you are so much more capable than you give yourself credit for, hell you may not have any knowledge of your full capabilities cause you've never let yourself reach them. Tarot readings can help you navigate, but all the readings in the world won't help you get anywhere if you never put your foot on the gas.

random ass vibes: I dunno if y'all forgot to eat but like I've been ravenous this whole reading, The cartoon Roadrunner, venus, tea, sunburn, flowers, 666

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The Road to Anywhere and Nowhere

The Star, the Five/Pentacles Rx and the High Priestess on the bottom of the deck.

Listen, honey. You can handle this. And you know you can. You're listening to your intuition, learning to trust yourself if you don't already. Y'all are navigating your life, you may have rough moments as we all do but y'all are learning to handle those moments with grace. I'm not gonna lie, it took me a minute to figure out why y'all are even at this reading, seems like the topic of this reading ain't something y'all need help with. And it ain't, y'all are killing it in this area. The reason y'all are here? Y'all need some encouragement. Maybe need is the wrong word, cause y'all are doing fuckin awesome either way. Deserve. That's the word. Y'all deserve some encouragement. The road you're on may be unconventional or the people around you very strongly disagree with. Or maybe they just strongly disagree with you, your identity as a person. (I dunno where "strongly disagree" is coming from but it keeps popping up in my head?) I feel like y'all have actively had people put you down and were able to power through and encourage yourselves, so you may not need others to encourage you. BUT we all deserve to be encouraged, just cause you can power through without supportive voices doesn't mean that you should have to. SO GET READY FOR SOME CHANNELED ENCOURAGEMENT MOTHERFUCKER! Y'all have been doing a fuckin amazing job moving away from shitty past situations and are not fucking giving yourselves enough credit. Yes, even if it was "just" some mental blocks. Oh, "just" a mental block are you kidding me? Do you know how hard getting over your own mental bullshit is?? Y'all are over here, learning to parkour over your mental bullshit like a goddamn ninja, acting like it's no big deal. Sweetie, that's huge, you do realize that? To be honest with yourself, call yourself on your bullshit and then do something about it? Step fuckin one of that is daunting. And I'm hearing that y'all were able to get through faster than even your guides were expecting. Honey, how powerful are you? Not only that, but y'all are learning to argue with your self-deprecating thoughts. Asking them, who gives a shit what they have to say? And taking all the energy you used to put into pushing yourself down and using it to build yourself up. That's SO fuckin badass, y'all! Talk about fuckin alchemizing shit. Y'all saw how much time and energy it was taking to keep yourself small and hurt, thought: Wonder what would happen if I used that to build myself up instead? And then you went and did it and ITS FUCKIN GORGIOUS. The blessings are gonna start rolling in with this new energy, but you already knew that. Cause motherfucker YOU are the blessing! Y'all are really embodying your own power and strength and are KICKING ASS. The last message is to let yourself rest, y'all are doing a lot. So give yourself a break, let yourself sleep in a bit later. Set aside time to just chill, you won't lose your progress while you sleep.

random ass vibes: receiving roses, worms, gardening, astronomy designs on clothes, 18, hide and seek

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The Road to Ol' Kentucky

Shout out to all my fellow Kentuckians! How y'all doing?

The Moon Rx, The Queen/Wands, the Page/Cups Rx and the Five/Wands Rx on the back of the deck

Y'all are being called to really embody yourself and your power moving forward. It seems like y'all not only have it in your head that you're a Page when you're a Queen (queen energy, not gender). You're wrong about the whole damn suit. Others may have convinced you you're being sensitive when they're being an asshole and you're pissed about it. (As if letting people talk shit about you is "weak" right?) Y'all think you're the negative aspects of the Cups: Overly emotional, flakey, manipulative, disorganized, and self-centered. When the truth is you're the positive aspects of the Wands: Passionate, creative, driven, confident, and strong-willed. Y'all are really fuckin hard on yourselves, okay? Others may have been intimidated by your strengths and convinced you they were your weaknesses. If y'all have been feeling stuck, this is why, alright? You are stuck cause you've been told that the way to get unstuck IS the reason you're stuck. Think of it like this, y'all are an airplane, convinced by cars that flying is your biggest weakness, trying to figure out why you never seem to get anywhere. Airplanes can roll around, sure but they're MADE to fly. It's time to do some hard thinking, probably back to when you were a kid. What were the things you loved and pursued, how did you pursue them and what bullshit did others say about it? Like, did you get super focused on an activity you were doing, forget about choirs or some shit, and then be called irresponsible and lazy? When you wanted something, were you the type to push and work towards it, then be called stubborn or relentless or annoying when others decided they wanted you to do something else? Because there are some good qualities y'all have that are how you're supposed to show up in the world that you're not letting yourself embody. To be clear, I'm not talking about being told you're acting like an asshole when you were, in fact acting like an asshole. I'm talking about strengths you had that were demonized to you and in an effort to be a better person you stopped using. Now they've atrophied and you've gotta work them out to get them back. Cause, listen the typical way of navigation ain't gonna work for you. Y'all can continue to roll around and try to get where you wanna go, but it's gonna be slow and a billion times harder. You ever seen an airplane trying to go down a road through town? Think a sec on on how hard that would be. Cause that's you, right now. There are no road maps for the sky, ya know? Y'all are charting your own path. You need to stop trying to make yourself follow the road map for life that others are using. It's not gonna work for you, cause it was never meant to. Y'all are on an unconventional path, the only way forward is to embrace it.

random ass vibes: Back To The Future, coffee, night owl, finding your people, reds oranges and yellows, clouds, libra, cats. Thelma and Louise

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#tarot reading #tarot #divination #tarot community #tarot cards #pick a card #pac reading #pick a card reading #pick a pile #pick a picture #wtftarot #tarot readings #tarotblr #Spotify

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nerd-of-karasuno · 1 year ago

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Itadori Yuji Dating Headcannons

word count: 2k

note: I am not taking requests for JJK at the moment. I may open them eventually, but for now, it's just Haikyu!! and My Hero Academia with maybe some Blue Lock mixed in (unless maybe you all have good Yuji requests I might do some...). I just love Yuji sm so I had write this. Hope y'all enjoy!! 💕

my dating headcannons masterlist

This is the sweetest boy right here

Yuji gives the best hugs.

He's so gentle and sweet.

You're friends right off the bat.

Yuji makes friends so easily.

He becomes very attached to you right away.

Yuji realizes he likes you when he's lying in bed late at night

he doesn't know what to do tbh

His feelings for you aren't too obvious, but at the same times there are moments that are pretty telling if you're paying attention.

It's the way he holds onto you longer during hugs more than he does with anyone else

The way he always checks to see if you're still with the group and enjoying yourself while you're out with friends

And the way that he offers you any snacks and food he has first before he offers to the rest of the people with you.

The way that you catch his eye when you walk in the room, that he can't help but stare for a few seconds, admiring you.

The way that he'll slightly lean into you laughing when you're sitting right next to him

I could go on forever about the different ways Yuji loves you

But anyway, movie nights are a requirement when you're friends with Yuji.

He probably has a day every week that he invites you, Megumi, and Nobara to watch a movie all together.

Yuji always have an unsaid claimed spot next to you.

he dives to get into that spot, which changes depending on where you're still, and he does this before you're dating too.

If you're a movie nerd, Yuji gets so excited to talk to you about movies

And even if you're not, Yuji is just as eager to talk about movies with you

It's cute hearing him talk, please listen to him

but keep in mind, he could go on for a very long time.

when the confession eventually happens, it goes either one of two ways.

Yuji smoothly pulls it off with all his practice in front of the mirror paying off

he completely stumbles his way through it

but it's so cute and super sweet and genuine that it probably gets you to fall for him even more

If you ever confront Yuji about his crush on Jennifer Lawrence, he'll get so bashful.

I feel like Todo would be the one to tell you that Yuji mention to him during their days at their old school that he found Jennifer Lawrence.

You'll definitely have a Hunger Games marathon at some point in your relationship.

Pillow fights happen every few movie nights

especially if you argue about something in the movie

Like one of you didn't like something in it or are debating which movie of a series is the best one

The pillow fights decides all.

For actual fights between you and Yuji though, Yuji has always been good at making it back up to you if he did something wrong.

sometimes he needs space after an argument but he comes back pretty quickly.

one of the first fights he went to Gojo for advice and immediately regretted it. Gojo had some good advice overall but it was covered up by some story or stories he was telling while giving it and Yuji didn't make the connection

Megumi and Nanami offer excellent advice however for any situation

usually at least one of them can't bother with the situation if Yuji is asking for advice on what to do for a date or anything like that, but one of the two always respond when it's an argument because they know how much Yuji and you mean to each other

unless it's a silly argument ofc.

Nobara also gives great advice, but sometimes she's a lil too picky with Yuji on what she gives advice on and goes off on other things about him that he could work on

im sorry, she cares a lot but I feel like she would go on tangents sometimes. We still love her very much

But Nobara is such an awesome wingwoman for both you and Yuji

Girl has the best ideas for dates and gifts and so much more.

Gojo 100% ships you and Yuji if he finds that you're right for each other

especially if he notices that you like each other before the confession

oh my gosh he gets so excited that two of his students are into each other

he tries to help out a little by putting you on missions together and gets you two to run errands together too

different things like that but occasionally it's very obvious that Gojo is trying to set the both of you up.

Nanami has told Gojo numerous times to back off because he too is one of the first to notice the connection between you and Yuji.

but of course we all know that doesn't exactly work out.

Yuji even gets you a lil tiger plush, somewhat as a joke because of his high school nickname

He thinks it's really cute when you hold the plush and it always makes him smile to see the plush in your room

If you name the tiger after him, he dies inside due to your sweetness

If you also attend Jujutsu High, Yuji sneaks into your dorm room regularly.

He loves holding you and spending nights with you, especially after rough missions

and after certain events like with what happened to Junpei

Yuji was able to hold it for quite awhile but he eventually ends up collapsing in your arms, saying nothing.

usually he's the big spoon but it's moments like these that he just needs you to hold him tight and play with his hair

no words necessary he just wants to be close to you.

Moving on... Yuji plays with your hair and fidgets with your fingers quite a lot

Yuji allows you to do the same to him if you want.

He's always open to new stuff that you tell him about

Oh there's a new restaurant? Wanna go tomorrow? You wanna play a new video game or wanna go see a new movie? Just tell him and he'll do it with you. He'll even let you put makeup on him or paint his nails if you'll really eager to

Okay kinda random, but arcade dates anyone?

Yuji will get competitive and he will try to get you to bet little things just for fun.

Also cat cafe dates?? I feel like Yuji would be so excited to go if you agree too

then he gets there and he scares some of the cats away by accidentally being too loud 😭

but the sight of you petting the cats and then snuggling up to you makes him feel better

except he didn't get to pet as many cats as you.

also dancing in your rooms together??

it'll be so random a lot of the times

but if there's music playing Yuji will try to get you to dance with him and if it's a really fun song, sing along as well.

Yuji hates when Sukuna talks around you and he tries to make sure Sukuna never talks directly to you

He doesn't want you to deal with him whatsoever

that doesn't stop Sukuna making remarks about your relationship in Yuji's head tho

especially since Yuji thinks about you a lot and Sukuna gets tired of it

He complained to you once about it when he actually managed to get a mouth to appear on Yuji's cheek

Yuji got so flustered and slapped his cheek so hard.

If you are ever assigned to fight against each other in training, Yuji immediately tries to change partners

Nothing against you, he knows that you're strong and he 100% respects that

Yuji is just extremely worried that he'll hurt you somehow

And he never ever wants to do that

Though if you do charge at him, he'll respond and up his defense if you're really going out

After that first fight that you start, Yuji'll become more comfortable with fighting against you in training

He was legitimately terrified when you came straight at him.

But you two fighting together? Yuji really enjoys working alongside you

power couple honestly

Yeah, he worries that you might get hurt but you're so beautiful in his eyes when you fight

I swear the first mission you go on together even if it was before you began dating, Yuji got distracted by you fighting whatever curse and stared a little to long

the next thing you know is Yuji is being thrown back at a wall

oh no my boy

Yuji quickly shakes it off but he refuses to admit what actually happened if you try to question him

If you tell anyone at Jujutsu High, they all can kinda place together the pieces and figure it out

Poor Yuji gets teased about that moment by quite a few people gojo im looking at you

...sorry need a gap cuz Tumblr wants a character block limit...

Yuji also gets teased a little when showing off once or twice during training

look he only does it when you're around

He can't help it

Yuji genuinely just wants to impress you

Really he just wants you to think that's he's cool

He doesn't care to much what others think

Except when they're teasing him constantly

Words of encouragement from you please if you're willing?

Actually please do that

Yuji struggles with the events that have happened in his life since he ate Sukuna's finger

so words of encouragement from you mean the absolute world to him

Your support in general really

With any way that you can show appreciation for him, Yuji becomes so soft

his mind's a mess

sukuna's not helping

man he loves you so much

you keep Yuji going

He's so grateful for that and he'll let you know.

he can't believe someone like you is willing to put so much love and spend so much time with him

sukuna shush yuji doesn't need your opinion on this

It takes him a little bit but eventually Yuji becomes very vulnerable with you

He's always been an pretty open person, but you're one of the first to see him wholely as himself, weaknesses and all

Yuji finds you so comforting

in quite a few different ways

He loves your hugs, for one

If Yuji can hold you for a bit, he'll be very happy and content

He loves resting his head on yours if you're short than him

If you're taller than him, he doesn't mind you doing the same to him

But piggy back rides? No one at Jujutsu High questions Yuji running around carrying you on his back anymore

They've all learned not to question a lot of silly things that you do with Yuji to be honest.

as long as no one is dying or injured it's probably fine - a quote probably said by a witness at Jujutsu High

Yuji thinks it's hilarious if any of the stuff that the students think about his and your actions get back to him

It makes him wanna do more semi chaotic stuff around the school.

please stop him at any time if you notice that it may be too much

You have Yuji's full heart when you're in a relationship with him

He adores you utterly

all these moments he's had with you, all the good times and the bad, Yuji Itadori wouldn't change for the world.

Yeah sometimes things weren't good between the two of you

Sometimes the circumstances around the two of you were awful

But those moments and those situations got you and Yuji to where you are now

and Yuji could not be happier.

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casper-spills · 9 months ago

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♡ 𝓥𝓪𝓵𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓮'𝓼 𝓢𝓹𝓮𝓬𝓲𝓪𝓵: 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓯𝓲𝓻𝓼𝓽 𝓭𝓪𝓽𝓮 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓹𝓮𝓻𝓼𝓸𝓷 ♡

♡ ᴘɪʟᴇ 1 ~ ᴘɪʟᴇ 2 ~ ᴘɪʟᴇ 3 ♡

Happy Valentine's Day! ♡

I hope everyone's doing well! ♡ It's been a while since I've done one of these and I've been really excited to do this one! This time, I'm writing these almost like a story of what's going to happen but I will warn you, I am not the most amazing story teller in the world haha but I hope everybody enjoys the reading they got and remember to only take what resonates ♡

All feedback is appreciated!

Sincerely,

Cassy the friendly ghost ♡

Discaimer: Tarot reading is for entertainment purposes only and should never take the place of professional therapy or professional legal, medicinal or financial advice.

𝒱𝒶𝓁𝑒𝓃𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑒𝓈 𝒟𝒶𝓎 𝒟𝒾𝓈𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓃𝓉! ♡

𝟧𝟢% 𝑜𝒻𝒻 𝒫𝒶𝒾𝒹 𝑅𝑒𝒶𝒹𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈!

Ends on Feb 19th 2 Questions £10 ~ £5 3 Questions £14 ~ £7 5 Questions £24 ~ £12 10 Questions £40 ~ £20

| BOOK A READING WITH ME | KO-FI |

♡ ᴘɪʟᴇ 1 ♡

Cards: Five of Swords, The Sun, Knight of Wands, The Hierophant (reversed), The Hanged Man, The Moon, Five of Cups (reversed), Four of Cups, Six of Coins, The World (reversed), The Devil, The Fool (reversed), Ace of Swords (reversed)

Some of you might be a part of the LGBT community and for those of you who aren't, it might be that you are not very traditional and don't play into the roles that society would have placed you in.

It is a warm and sunny day by a lake or some kind of body of water but I get the feeling that maybe this is someplace you are not supposed to be, like a private or closed off area. Maybe this could be a closed off pool area in an old building. You find your way in and I see your date being reluctant to go but they follow you anyway. They're becoming increasingly more anxious about being here but you reassure them that nobody comes here and reveal the suprise, a game! This might be some kind of arcade game or ping pong table that has been left on the property and, soon enough, they give in (since they're a sucker for games.)

Now this is interesting. You actually aren't sure if this person feels the same way about you and this is you shooting your shot. Again, I get the feeling that the majority of you might be LGBTQ+ and you're really taking the leap of faith on this. Good for you!

You both having lots of fun, your date managed to score a point and you cheer together! (So cute). There's a moment of silence and there's intent behind their gaze, and you think to yourself, 'its now or never'. So you pour every ounce of faith into this chance and swiftly kiss them, waiting for their response. To your relief, they return the kiss, and it is passionate and warm and perfect ♡

Messages from them to you: 'You're so beautiful and I don't know how to tell you' 'I hope it is what i think it is' 'I really hope you're sure about this and about me' 'I'm sure that it's you that I want' 'Please make the first move'

♡ ᴘɪʟᴇ 2 ♡

Cards: Eight of Cups, Page of Coins (horizontal), King of Cups, The Devil (horizontal), The Lovers, Three of Coins, The Tower (horizontal), Page of Cups (horizontal), The Hanged Man (horizontal)

This is somewhere quiet, somewhere where people might come to learn like a library accept there isn't many people here. I could be that you're a student and I'm getting major breakfast club vibes. I feel like you and your person are in detention together or perhaps it feels like you're getting punished with the work you have to do. (I know this isn't the most romantic date in the world but stay with me.)

I'm getting the feeling that you are paired with this person for a project. Even though you really want to focus and not fall behind, they seem to be distracting you and weighing on your mind. You like them because how can you not? They're gorgeous! But they're annoying the heck out of you, 'plus, they're super weird', you think to yourself.

You eventually decide that this is getting too much and get up from your seat to start looking in one of the isles for a book. You feel your face turning redder and redder the more they try to get your attention. Once they realise that they aren't getting anywhere, they begin to actually talk to you about the work and ask to see the book you have taken off the shelf. Suddenly, they don't seem as ignorant as you thought, and they're pretty smart when they actually want to be. You wonder if maybe this person just wants to connect so you give in and entertain them a little.

You very quickly regret your decision when they boldly ask you if you're blushing because you like them. Not saying anything, you look away, poorly hiding the fact that you're clearly red in the face. Under your breath you ask them, 'please, stop messing with me' because you're starting to feel like you could cry if this keeps up. There's a moment where they don't say anything and the silence becomes defening. All you can hear right now is the beating of your heart and you can't help but feel like their gaze is becoming too intense for you.

Unexpectedly, the awkwardness is broken by a kiss on the cheek. You're thinking, 'what the heck? Are they trying to give me emotional whiplash?' But before you can say anything they apologise to you. 'I'll stop messing with you and we can get back to doing the project.' They seem sincere and a little different to how they were a second ago. So you shake it off and agree to continue the project, though it's really difficult to focus properly.

Messages from them to you: 'If I don't do anything now, then you'll never consider me' 'I like how intelligent you are' 'I want to get to know you more' 'I need to know what you think of me' 'I want to get closer to you'

♡ ᴘɪʟᴇ 3 ♡

Cards: Four of Swords (reversed), The Star (reversed), Three of Swords (reversed), Seven of Wands (reversed), Nine of Wands (horizontal), Queen of Coins (reversed), Eight of Swords (reversed)

You're at their house, in their bedroom and I have the feeling that maybe you've known this person for a while now. It's not anything too crazy, just laying down, listening to music and watching the star projector spin. This is perfect because you've been having a really tough week and you really need to just relax. Things might have been tough at work or home and you really need someone to vent to.

So they have set up a comfortable space for you, brought snacks and drinks, and offered to listen for as long as you wanted. This isn't really intened to be a date and honestly, it isn't much of one either, but it's intimiate and it feels different from all the other times that you've hung out with them. They're normally more energetic and chaotic when you hang out with them but today they're really trying to be more considerate and more sensitive. You really appreciate that from them. You're not sure that you want to progress this feeling yet, so your boundaries are clear and all you want right now is a friend. But that doesn't mean things won't change.

Messages from them to you: 'I admire you' 'You're so beautiful' 'You've seen so much' 'Everything is going to be okay' 'You can stay here as long as you want'

♥Thank you for your support! Happy Valentine's Day♥

Special thanks to: @kittywatching @livelythoughts @visualbutterflysworld @honeytarotmind @jeff-satur-is-my-baby-girl @miraclekay97 @artscapismsworld @julyourwitch @notakitsune @mercurialstime @soledad-montoya @depressedcap @bibislutmarvel @coconuttreesstuff

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cowboyjen68 · 1 year ago

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Hi!!

I just wanted to ask some advice from one butch to another.

I recently got my dream job of being a warden on a nature reserve (and i love it!), while interacting with people there I get called a young man very often (i am 18 lol) and it gives me euphoria to know im masculine enough to even pass as a man. I've also had some volunteers ask if I was a man or not (despite my feminine name).

But recently I got called a "lady" outside while out with my mother. It drove me INSANE I cried alot.

Don't get me wrong I do identify as a woman but I hate being seen as a lady.

I've even thought about using he/him pronouns recently and changing my name but i'm too scared to as most people won't understand bc im still a lesbian.

Is this strange?

ps love u and ur blog lots xx

This is an easy answer because I was 18 once and looked enough like a teenage boy that I got "hey sport" and "hey young man" all the time, especially when in my work clothes. I worked for The Mayor's Youth Corp in Iowa City in the summers of my 15th and 16th year. Mom and Dad let me get a work permit AND bought me a used Datsun Pickup so I could drive myself the 20 miles there and back each day.

I was a volunteer with the Corp of Engineers youth from 14 to 16 and Dad knew I was super excited about this job. Mom was not thrilled that I wanted to cut my hair but my "grand mullet" was really hot under the hard hat in the summer heat of Iowa. (in the 1980's boys and girls had the short in front long and permed in back look) We compromised and I cut the sides really short. (photo of my me at 16 in my uniform for reference)

Using "he" would never have occurred to me because "EWWW Boys". This is not to say, however, that I hated being mistaken for a boy, on the contrary, it felt good. When someone thought I was a young man it meant they treated me as such. They didn't talk down to me, I knew they assumed I was capable and willing to get dirty. I knew unconsiously that along with the mistaken identity came many perks. This was nothing I analyzed but little girls see very early on the difference in treatment they recieve from their brothers, male cousins and neighborhood boys. This difference leads us to become negotiators to control our circumstances and not entittled to treatment based on our skills and actual personalies.

When an adult recognized me as a boy, even for a second at first glance, I knew I didn't have to prove myself. They, for an instant, assigned to me words like "strong, capable, demanding etc". No negotations required.

When someone realized I was a girl they literally had a change in their face. They smiled at me, softened their voice. When I was called "young lady" or "Miss" it always seemed to be backed my the worst assumptions (in my mind anyway). Lady is steeped in all kinds of traits I didnt want assigned to me. "quiet, weak, likes to dress pretty"OR "motherly, submissive, meek" Nothing good in my teen brain, that is for sure. Lady felt so OLD, so married to a man and reliant on him for survival, so polyster pants and ugly flats and scratchy blouses with a flower imprint. NONE of these things are inherent to being a woman or even socially forced on us but that is not how things work sometimes. Words that describe people get stereotypes and myths and traits attached to them all the time. Woman and girl are no different.

I can tell you, the best feeling in the world when I was in that job was when my supervisor, who damn well knew I was a young woman, trusted me with all the same tasks as the boys. Who valued my opinions and abilities equally to the young men. He took time to teach me what I didn't know, just like with them and didn't assume I couldn't or didn't want to learn things on the job. He didn't shame ANYONE for not being strong enough or for getting tired or needing a break.

Don't let the assumptions of others force you into another box of conformity. You don't need a boys name or to use any pronouns you don't feel connected to just to please others. In fact, none of that effort will change perceptions of those around you. I can promise that one day being called Lady will just be another word that you can hear and know it does not change your personality or your interests or control the hope you have for your future. What does waste a lot of time and energy is trying to adjust things in your life to fit incorrect or snap assumptions about you as a person. You can never control the thoughts of those around you but what you can do is stop worrying about it and enjoy YOU.

You have a job you love and are sure to thrive in. You are solid in your sexuality and love of women, you are in a unique position to possibly change the perceptions of others when they think of "young women". Your interactions with the public are sure to effect the assumpions of at least some people when they think of young women and their roles in our society.

Congratulations on your new career and I bet you rock that uniform.

#lesbian #butch #stereotypes #careers #words #lady

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immaturityofthomasastruc · 1 year ago

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IOTA Reviews: Derision

Well, here we are. This is the episode you've all been waiting for me to cover. The one people claim is the cream of the crop when it comes to badness, not just for the insane amount of retcons and cases of character assassination, but for how it retroactively makes one of the most criticized parts of the entire show worse by comparison. If you've seen the episode, you know what I'm talking about.

Let's get into the fourteenth episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fifth season: Derision

We start off with Marinette waking up for the day before getting a call from Adrien, who gives one of the clunkiest pieces of exposition I've ever heard on this show, and that's saying something.

Adrien: I was just going to tell you how excited I am that we're meeting at the swimming pool later, and to wake you up just in case you were still sleeping.

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Just as she hangs up, Marinette's hands start to tremble, having visions of a locker, hinting at some old memories resurfacing. Just to get this out of the way, but one thing I want to give this episode props for is the way these panic attacks are portrayed. The colors change, the environments warp around, and it gives off a very uneasy feeling. It kind of reminds me of this one episode of The Twilight Zone, “Little Girl Lost”, which used similar visuals to depict the otherworldly atmosphere of another dimension.

Marinette meets up with Adrien at the local pool, and has another panic attack. Kim and Ondine seem to notice this.

Kim: Woah, Adrien. That must've been some prank you pulled to make Marinette freak out like that. What did you do to her?

Ondine: It's not funny, Kim! Can't you see Marinette's not okay?

Kim: Oh, come on. She always reacts like that when someone pranks her.

Kim then proceeds to tell Adrien and Ondine (and by extension, the audience) about what he means. I'm going to talk a lot about this, so to make things easier for all of us, I'll give you the short version so you have an idea of what happened.

About a year before the events of “Origins”, we see Chloe was bullying Marinette even more than she did before then, constantly pulling sadistic pranks Megan from Drake & Josh would find to be overkill, while making her late to class. To make things worse, none of her teachers believed her and took Chloe's side all the time, giving her detention on the weekends. Mylene, Rose, and Juleka try to help Marinette, but apparently, Chloe orders them to not talk with her before saying that “she'll be there to make Marinette's life a nightmare”.

The only person with the common sense to help out Marinette is Socqueline, that girl from “Jubiliation”. Socqueline learns that Marinette has a crush on Kim, who is even more of a jerk than he was during the first half of Season 1, and when Marinette thinks about asking him out to the swimming pool after school, Socqueline advises Marinette to be careful. Sabrina tips off Chloe to Marinette's plan, so Chloe goes to give Kim advice to pull a prank on Marinette. At the pool, just as Marinette confesses her feelings to Kim, Kim gives her a box full of spiders, causing her to panic and fall backwards into the pool. Chloe films the thing with the intent to make it go viral, but Socqueline stops her plan before she can upload it. Kim doesn't seem to see what he did was wrong, seeing it as a harmless joke as Socqueline tells him to piss off.

It's here that Marinette determines that if she ever has feelings for a boy ever again, she'll need to be super prepared, explaining how much she knows about Adrien and his schedule in later episodes. Chloe then gets Socqueline expelled from school just a few weeks before the end of the school year. Marinette blames herself for what happened, but Socqueline tells her that sometimes, no matter how dire the odds seem, she needs to muster up the courage to fight the good fight.

Oh, and Marinette was almost akumatized by Monarch again, but it's really just an excuse to keep her away while Kim tells the story.

So... let's talk about this flashback. Clocking in at about ten minutes, almost half of the episode's runtime, this is easily the part everyone (myself included) seems to have problems with, for all kinds of reasons. Let's break down each and everything wrong with this flashback.

#1: The Portrayal of Chloe

Surprisingly, this is the least of my problems. Compared to Kim (who I'll get to later), Chloe is mostly in character with how she's usually portrayed by this point in the series. She's egotistical, she orders Sabrina around, she hates Marinette, and throws her father's name around over and over again like it's a boomerang. My feelings on the wasted opportunities with her character aside, this does make sense seeing how this takes place before Season 1.

But there's the problem. This takes place before Season 1, and Chloe does things she never did in Season 1, or any of the other seasons for that matter. She clearly has the teachers and principal doing what she wants, she can boss the other students around (which I'll also get to later), she pulls sadistic practical jokes on Marinette, and even uses her dad's name to get Socqueline expelled. In the show, she doesn't really do any of this. Sure, she can occasionally use her dad's influence to get what she wants (Lady Wifi, Rogercop, Frightningale, Determination), but it was never to this extent. While she also tried to act like she was better than the rest of her peers, barring Sabrina, nobody ever listened to her or took her seriously. Chloe also tended to focus on bullying Marinette, but she didn't do these kinds of practical jokes. Usually, it was either sabotage (Mr. Pigeon, Despair Bear, Gabriel Agreste) or just general name calling, and she picked on other students too (Dark Cupid, Reflekta, Antibug, Sole Crusher, Penalteam, Deflagration).

The point I'm trying to make is why the hell did Chloe stop acting this way? What caused her to stop being as bad as she is here? I get the whole point of this episode is to show how terrible Chloe is, but you're showing off all her bad moments in a flashback and never considering the other things she's done that would be just as effective. Wasn't the main idea behind Chloe's “damnation arc” that she started to change, but went back on her ways and became worse than before? If that's the case, I have to reiterate, why was she even worse in this flashback?

I also have an issue with making the cause of all of Marinette's trauma because of this prank by Chloe. Yes, the prank was terrible, and trust me this isn't me once again going “GRR! CHLOE STAN ANGRY BECAUSE RICH GIRL IS EVIL IN FLASHBACK!”. It's more along the lines of “Really? We're really doing this?”. While I'm glad that after Chloe's betrayal at the end of Season 3, the show is finally considering the idea of making her more than just comic relief as a villain, it feels like a case of too little, too late.

After so many years of making Chloe out to be harmless unless she screams her daddy's name, now you're treating her like a serious threat who traumatized Marinette for life? Chloe is the cause of Marinette's trauma? This is like if the person who killed Bruce Wayne's parents turned out to be a joke character like Egghead or Crazy Quilt. Just because a serious villain does something important to the story, it doesn't automatically make their prior unfunny antics go away.

But my main gripe with the portrayal of Chloe here is that this flashback fails to do something that still hasn't been done in almost five seasons and eight years: Explain just why Chloe hates Marinette so much. Chloe is unusually cruel here, and doesn't even have a reason to torture Marinette like this. Usually, Marinette gets in the way of what she wants, but here? Marinette doesn't do anything to warrant this level of dedication. You would think for a flashback sequence focusing on her and Marinette's history, they would actually explain why Chloe likes to single out Marinette, but they don't. The writers would rather take time out of the episode to remind the audience of why Chloe is the way she is, and why it isn't acceptable, than clarify what Chloe's deal with Marinette is.

Rose: She’s this way because her mother left her when she was young.

Mylene: So did mine, and you don't see me having fun bullying Marinette.

Gee, I wonder if Astruc himself had a part in writing that exchange or not.

If you're willing to acknowledge previous episodes while also discussing how poorly Chloe treats Marinette, it would help if you finally did something to inform the audience about why Chloe likes to torture Marinette in the first place. Did Marinette show Chloe up at a fashion show? Did Marinette impress Chloe's dad one time? Did Marinette just spill coffee on Chloe's shoes? I will take literally anything, no matter how stupid the explanation is, over getting nothing after eight years.

It's also pretty rich that that scene was trying to say that what happened to Chloe doesn't justify her actions when not only do we never get a scene like that pointing out how creepy Marinette obsesing over Adrien was, but later in the episode, Marinette specifically pins all the blame on Chloe in one line.

Marinette: Adrien! I know what's wrong with me! It's not my fault, and it's not your fault, either! It's all Chloe's fault!

So remember kids, just because bad things happen to you, it doesn't excuse your unflattering actions... except when it does, and in that case, it's all the fault of the person who wronged you in the first place.

#2: The Portrayal of Kim

I'll admit, I'm not really the biggest fan of Kim as a character. I don't hate him, but it feels like after Season 2, he just became that guy who really loves to swim, where even characters like Max, Marc, and Nathaniel had more depth to them. This episode however? Yeah, I couldn't stand Kim here.

Just like with Chloe, Kim is sort of in character as the same eccentric dude who has a habit of being insensitive and accidentally upsetting people (Animan, Syren), and I need to emphasize the “sort of”. Just like Chloe, this goes against his characterization in Season 1, where he was shown to be a bully like Chloe was (Lady Wifi, Timetagger, Origins) before later episodes made him a nicer person. However, unlike Chloe, the show sort of tries to retcon Kim's rude behavior to be more in line with his Season 5 self by portraying him as more of a bully who simply isn't aware of how harmful his jokes are, but it doesn't work because of how cruel he seems, and he doesn't have the excuse of knowing how terrible he is like Chloe does.

There's also how easily he goes along with Chloe's prank when she literally insults him and Marinette to his face.

Chloe: I heard Marinette asked you to go with her to the swimming pool.

Kim: Yeah, we’re going swimming together. Cool! 'Cause I love to swim!

Chloe: That’s not why she asked you, dummy!

Kim: It's not? Then, what are we going to do? Chloe: She wants to declare her feelings for you! Kim: For me? But why?

Chloe: Probably because she's utterly ridiculous, and so are you, which makes you two perfect for each other!

Kim: Oh? You think so?

There's not being aware of how insensitive of how you are to others, and then there's not being able to comprehend basic insults. Chloe doesn't even try to give Kim a backhanded compliment or secretly insult him (“You really like swimming, don't you? Good thing you can swim better than you do in class.”). She just calls him a dummy, and Kim still falls for her trick. If you want to have Kim fall for Chloe's plan, don't make her so obviously cruel. For God's sake, you're making the class in the Lila episodes look smart by comparison.

And even after retelling the story, Kim still thinks Chloe highly, not only saying how pretty she is right in front of his girlfriend, but he still thinks the joke was the funniest thing ever. After five seasons, Kim of all people should know about how mean Chloe is, given he was literally kidnapped and brainwashed into serving her while she sided with Hawkmoth (Miracle Queen).

The worst part is that Kim has nothing to do with this story at all. You could literally replace him with any other guy, even a nameless background character with no lines, and nothing would change. Hell, I'd argue it'd be even better as having Marinette be embarrassed in front of some rando would highlight the impact it had on her self-esteem when she tries to go after someone of a higher social class. It would also better justify the spider prank if someone else pulled it because “Darkblade” established that Kim was afraid of spiders.

And if you think I'm talking about Kim after this part, believe me, there's more to this schmuck than meets the eye.

#3: The Way Everyone Just... Lets This All Happen

Look, I get what the episode is trying to go for, narratively, and realistically. Sometimes, teachers and other authority figures just don't do their jobs when someone gets bullied. Hell, I was bullied for years by someone who liked to take advantage of my anger issues, and it wasn't until my last year of middle school that the faculty finally decided to do something about it. I also get that this entire flashback wouldn't happen if the teachers realized how cruel Chloe was and got her expelled. What I don't get is how the flashback portrays anyone who was there as unwilling to do anything to help.

First off, Marinette claims that the reason none of the teachers believed her was because they're all too afraid to stand up to Chloe, since she can call her dad and cost them their jobs, but that's far from the truth. The only time we see anyone actually being afraid of Chloe was when Mr. Damocles went back on refusing to expel Socqueline before Chloe threatened to call her dad and get him fired. Other than that, while we only see Ms. Mendeleiev and Mr. Damocles in this flashback, neither of them really show any signs of being afraid of Chloe. They just go along with what she says, and they don't even try to take Marinette's side. Just like Kim, this would be more understandable if these were different characters who were never shown to be this cruel to Marinette in earlier episodes.

Second, while I can sort of buy the teachers not caring about Marinette, the fact that her classmates don't do anything is another story. We saw Mylene, Rose, and Juleka trying to help Marinette, but right after they talk to her, Chloe just orders them to go away, and it's never explained why. Marinette said the teachers were afraid of Chloe, but does that mean the students are too? Again, later episodes would establish nobody takes Chloe seriously as a bully, so this part of the flashback makes no sense. What changed to make them stop being afraid of Chloe anyway? Once again, if these were a bunch of nameless characters who were more apathetic to Marinette's situation, that would make sense, retroactively showing how much Marinette's friends care for her. Instead, it's like that scene in RWBY where the main characters watch a student being bullied by a racist classmate, and all they do is say “Wow, racism really sucks, huh? Anyway, not our problem.”

Third, you're telling me that Marinette came up with multiple excuses not to go to school even with a few weeks left in the year, and Marinette's parents didn't see anything weird about it? They didn't think that something must be making Marinette want to do anything but go to school? I don't think they were even informed about the situation at school, unless you want to be generous and say they knew Marinette got detention. You can't even make the excuse that it would work if these were different characters, but these are Marinette's parents. You know, the same characters the show portrays as loving and affectionate to their daughter? You're telling me they didn't even think to look into the situation, much less talk to Marinette about school?

The problem with all the other characters in this flashback is in order to make what happens possible, they have to be as apathetic as possible. There's being unaware of a situation or being too afraid to stand up (which is unfortunately something that happens when people bullied sometimes), and then there's just not caring about the bully victim at all. It's ironic how even though a big part of the flashback was to show how awful Chloe was, it unintentionally make everyone else in Marinette's life seem just as cruel to let her suffer like that.

But I know what you're thinking. “What about Socqueline? She was there to help Marinette, so why didn't you mention her?” Well...

#4: Where the Hell Has Socqueline Been All This Time?

Like I mentioned in my “Jubilation” review, Socqueline is yet another unnecessary addition to the already overcrowded cast of characters in this show, and it seemed like this episode was meant to justify her inclusion, but it only raised more questions.

Just to remind you, this flashback establishes that Marinette was constantly bullied by Chloe until a nice girl in glasses stood up for her, and inspired Marinette to be more confident.

SOUND FAMILIAR?

Yeah, this flashback is pretty much the same as Marinette's arc in “Origins” was, only with Socqueline in Alya's place. We get it, writers, Season 1 was good. Constantly repeating stuff like what happened in “Mr. Pigeon 72” isn't going to win you any favors.

This really highlights how pointless of a character Socqueline is, as despite supposedly being a really important person in Marinette's life, Marinette herself never thought to tell anyone about her, and judging from how Marinette described her to Tikki in “Jubilation”, I don't think she even stayed in contact with Socqueline after she was expelled. It's not like left Paris afterwards. All we know is that she went to another school and got a job at a local arts and crafts store, so why did Marinette just stop talking with her? Even with Felix and Zoe, they had the excuse of being in different countries, but you can't say that with Socqueline.

Also, this was something I just realized, but if Mr. Damocles got her expelled, why the hell did Socqueline treat him like he was any other customer at her job, much less compliment him as a principal?

#5: The Handling of Trauma in General, and How This Impacts Marinette as a Character

Like pretty much every other serious issue it tries to tackle, Miraculous Ladybug has always had a poor understanding of mental health. When it comes to portraying characters who struggle with some form of grief of trauma, like Adrien, Felix, Chloe, Zoe, and even Marinette, the responses usually amount to some variation of “Grow a pair and get over it, you big baby!”.

With Felix, Chloe, and Marinette, even if their actions are partially motivated as a response to either losing a loved one, trying to emulate their neglectful parent, or as a defense mechanism to avoid repeating an already traumatic experience, they're all proven to be in the wrong, and it's not to teach a lesson about alternative coping mechanisms or support systems. The show just says that they're automatically wrong for what they do, what causes them to act the way they do is never acknowledged, and instead, we're supposed to just act like they're being jerks for no reason. Compare this to Adrien and Zoe, who both had rough lives losing their mother at a young age or living with an abusive mother respectively, and rather than go into detail how it affected them or how they managed to become decent human beings in spite of it, the show just says that they're nice people, so people like Felix, Chloe, and Marinette have no reason to be mean to others.

This is honestly why I feel like this episode's depiction of mental health and dealing with trauma falls flat. In case you didn't know, I asked my followers who had to deal with some form of trauma to share their experiences and how it compared to what Marinette went through in the episode. For the most part, the common consensus seems to be that while the symptoms of Marinette's trauma and her reactions to it are very believable, a lot of it is contradicted by previous episodes, and it seems like it was only there to do a story about dealing with trauma.

So many episodes across Seasons 1 through 4 show Marinette dealing with Kim and Chloe without really any issue, and she showed no problem with starting relationships with Luka and Cat Noir, to say nothing about Nathaniel's brief crush on her in “The Evillustrator”. If Marinette was so traumatized by this prank, why did she want to go swimming in episodes like “Gorizilla” and “Mr. Pigeon 72”? Why did she bother to help Kim confess to Chloe in “Dark Cupid”? Why did she team up with Chloe to sabotage Kagami in “Animaestro”? Why did she suggest Chloe could change for the better throughout Seasons 2 and 3? Why did she continue to let Chloe and Kim use the Bee and Monkey Miraculous respectively, even after they got them from outside sources? This flashback is desperately trying to tie previous events of the series together together, but it only works if you ignore all the times Marinette has interacted with Kim and Chloe without having a panic attack.

Then there's how the flashback tries to connect this to Marinette memorizing all of Adrien's schedule to make sure he won't hurt her, an obvious attempt to rebuff one of the biggest criticisms of her as a character. Here's why it doesn't work.

First off, the setup doesn't work because while Marinette vows to do a better job getting to know the next person she falls in love with and how, in her words mind you, “He isn't friends with Chloe”. Putting aside the kindness he's shown her in “Origins”, she kind of failed to really consider her choice to pursue him if he stayed friends with Chloe if we're going to believe Chloe traumatized Marinette so much.

It also doesn't really explain the more predatory actions Marinette has taken whenever another girl tries to get close to Adrien (The Bubbler, Volpina, Animaestro, Oni-Chan, Heart Hunter), or how she tries to rig up situations to get closer to him (The Gamer, Gigantitan, Backwarder, Party Crasher, Felix, Psycomedian, Glaciator 2, Simpleman). And that's not even getting into how obsessive she is with him in other areas, like repeatedly playing a commercial he was in (Gorizilla), making a bunch of presents for him in advance (Christmaster), trying to kiss a wax statue of him (The Puppeteer 2), sniffing his pillow (Cat Blanc), or all the other times she's creepily obsessed over him.

But of course, you've probably noticed that I've forgotten to mention one key thing about what this flashback means: You know how Marinette tends to act nervously and stumbles a lot around Adrien when she isn't meticulously documenting his schedule? Yeah, they were essentially panic attacks brought on by her PTSD, and the episode tries to act like Kim did to her wasn't funny afterwards. Here's the problem with this.

YOU MADE MARINETTE'S TRAUMA YOUR PRIMARY SOURCE OF COMEDY FOR THE PAST FIVE FUCKING SEASONS!

You do NOT have the right to act like what happened to Marinette was bad when you were constantly playing her anxiety up for laughs for almost EIGHT YEARS at this point!

In addition to all the other examples I mentioned, we had episodes like “Psycomedian”, which confirmed that the same behavior that this episode is trying to say is connected to her trauma was hilarious to Adrien, as well as “Backwarder”, which thrived on playing up Marinette's anxiety towards Adrien and was said to be one of the funniest episodes of the show to work on by Astruc himself.

THIS IS WHAT THOMAS ASTRUC ACTUALLY BELIEVES

#6: Why This Flashback Is Ultimately Pointless

But above all, the biggest problem I have with this flashback is because of how pointless it is. It's trying to better go into detail about why Marinette acts the way she does around Adrien, but did we really need to do that?

This flashback doesn't really reveal anything that we didn't know already. We know Marinette was bullied by Chloe, we know she was a lot more meek and needed others to stand up for her, and we definitely know that we're not supposed to like Chloe. Adding to my earlier point, if we actually got more insight into the origin of Chloe's obsession with Marinette, that would have at least made this flashback important to watch, but once again, despite being a flashback episode, we learn nothing about the characters that we don't already know.

But this flashback is also meant to explain why Marinette is so hesitant to embrace her new relationship with Adrien when we already got a reason for that last season. The first half of the season has made a big deal about how much her feelings for Adrien cost her the Miraculous, so why not focus on that? This flashback just feels like it's here to give more Marinette angst instead of focusing on the things they've already established. And that's not even getting into what she saw during “Cat Blanc”.

Why couldn't we just have a story about Marinette's own insecurities causing her to doubt she can make her relationship with Adrien work, seeing how poorly things ended with Luka? Have her worry that something could go wrong as a result of her need to overcompensate, or worry that Adrien could betray her. That way, you could have Adrien supporting Marinette in a way that reflects their partnership as Cat Noir and Ladybug respectively.

But no. Instead we have this flashback that's taken me about ten pages to fully dissect. And the worst part is that I still have the rest of the episode to talk about. God help me...

So after Adrien and Ondine explain how this prank could have done a lot of damage to Marinette's psyche, Kim decides to find Marinette, and apologize for being so—Ah, I'm just messing with you guys. After all, that would actually make Kim likable. So what does he say instead?

Kim: Come on! Loosen up, you guys! It's like you can't even speak your mind these days.

Ondine: That doesn't give you permission to hurt other people!

Kim: Whatever! I'm the way I am and I'm fine that way! It's not my fault you guys have no sense of humor!

Yep, rather than having Kim realize the error of his ways and maybe be akumatized out of guilt, Kim just whines about how everyone else is just a humorless pansy these days. The writers pretty much made Kim's motivation boil down to “It's just a prank, bro!”. Even Monarch seems to go along with this, as he refers to Kim as “A free spirit feeling unjustly rejected”, when this was right after he called Chloe the prettiest girl in front of his own girlfriend's face. So Monarch sends his Akuma to Kim's goggles, akumatizing him into Dark Humor. Yes, that's really the name they're going with.

Dark Humor is a pretty forgettable recolor of Dark Cupid. Other than inverting the red and black color scheme and giving him a targeting scope on his right eye, there's not much else to say other than the incredibly on the nose name they gave him. His powers are sort of like Dark Cupid's, only now, instead of turning people heartless, they now share his soulless brand of “humor”. At least, I think it is. His Alliance power is the Monkey Miraculous's Uproar, but it's not really clarified if he's only using Uproar arrows or not, judging from the use of the rubber ducky that we've seen King Monkey use before.

Marinette and Adrien transform into Ladybug and Cat Noir respectively, but once they meet up, we get the most controversial part of the episode that isn't connected to the flashback scene: Cat Noir gives Dark Humor the beatdown of his life and is about to Cataclysm him, for pulling a bad prank on Marinette a year ago. Yeah, a lot of people have pointed out that Adrien felt a lot of remorse for Cataclysming Monarch earlier in this season, yet here, Cat Noir looks like someone told him that Kim just shot the Pope. For God's sake, writers, you're five seasons in! How hard is it to determine whether or not you want your hero to be okay with killing people or not?

And of course, this bites him in the ass, as Dark Humor stabs Cat Noir with an arrow, not only changing his Cataclysm into something that creates a bunch of balls from his hand, but also making him just as insane as the rest of Dark Humor's victims. You know, I'm this close to starting a “Remember Season 1” counter, because this is just glorified fanservice.

Ladybug tries to summon her Lucky Charm, but is stopped by Dark Humor, so Ladybug transforms back into Marinette, transforms into Ladybug again, and summons her Lucky Charm for real this time, getting... a toilet. Of course, the only way to combat Dark Humor's bad jokes is by using even worse jokes! Genius! Ladybug places the toilet over Dark Humor's head and breaks it along with the goggles, freeing the Akuma.

Ladybug de-evilizes the Akuma, uses Miraculous Ladybug to fix the damage, gives Kim a useless Magical Charm, and Cat Noir apologizes for murdering Kim by saying his emotions got the better of him, which is like saying OJ Simpson and his wife had a minor disagreement.

Kim apologizes to Marinette for traumatizing her, and I guess that's enough for Ondine to forgive him for saying another girl is prettier than her.

After Marinette sort of explains what happened to Adrien, he goes over to tell Chloe to apologize, and we get... this scene.

Adrien: I know about everything that you did to Marinette last year, Chloe. You're going to go and apologize to her and prove to everyone that you can change. I'm sure she'll forgive you.

Chloe: (laughs) Forgive me? What do I care about her forgiveness? I couldn't care less about Dupain-Cheng's feelings! She and the likes of her only exist to suffer for my entertainment. Why bother having power if you can’t use it against those who don’t have any? You’re the one who’s getting things wrong, with your baker girl! You’re a prince! You belong with me, the princess! You’re in this world to shine! To make fun of all the losers who are only good enough to be used as doormats!

Adrien: You're nothing like a princess, Chloe. I supported you. I gave you multiple chances to become a better person. Everyone reached out to you, including Ladybug and Cat Noir when they gave you the Miraculous of the Bee again. But all you ever think about is yourself.

Chloe: And what else IS there to think about? Losers and nobodies? The little bees? The planet?

Adrien: We will never be friends again, Chloe. You and I are done.

Chloe: Traitor.

Okay, first off, “She and the likes of her only exist to suffer for my entertainment.”? That's the line you're going with? She sounds like a dark lord in an RPG game. How is this the closest thing we ever get to an explanation to why Chloe hates Marinette so much?

Second, ignoring the fact that we already had Chloe end her friendship with Adrien last season (Queen Banana), it's pretty weird that this is the breaking point in their friendship. Adrien doesn't mention all the other times she's bullied people or when she sided with Hawkmoth even when he brought up her time as Queen Bee. He saw her being mean to so many people over five seasons, yet only when he learns Chloe did something to his girlfriend that he decides to finally confront her. If we at least got a line where Adrien acknowledged that he essentially enabled Chloe for so long by thinking she could change, that would have at least sort of worked. Instead, he makes it about how she refused to change herself. Dude, you had the chance to stand up to her for years, and you even did so in one episode before you went back on it (Despair Bear). You have nobody to blame but yourself.

Finally, Chloe is pretty out of character here. She's way too calm about ending her friendship with Adrien compared to what happened in “Despair Bear” and “Queen Banana”. You'd think if the writers wanted this to be a big moment of catharsis for the audience, Chloe would at least beg Adrien to stay a little. But no, Chloe brushes it off when it could easily justify her getting worse in later episodes, and even Adrien doesn't even consider how much he thought Chloe's friendship meant to him. Because these writers are dedicated to making sure that any identifiable trait Chloe once had is removed so you have no choice but to hate her.

But hey, at least the episode's over. What did I think of it?

youtube

Yeah, it wasn't very good.

I just... what else do you even want me to say here? I spent about ten pages going over why the flashback sequence doesn't work, I've already ranted about Cat Noir trying to kill someone with his Cataclysm in previous episodes (Hack-San, Jubilation), and I think you all know what my feelings on the portrayal of Chloe and Kim are.

I guess I can answer one question you may have: Is this episode worse than either “Penalteam” or “Queen Banana”? Eh, not really. Let me explain.

The problems with “Queen Banana” and “Penalteam” went beyond the treatment of Chloe with the way the stories were handled, with “Queen Banana” being a cheap jab at critics and TV executives while propping up their new character Zoe, and “Penalteam” being an excuse to have a soccer episode while making Cat Noir look like a buffoon right before the finale. Most of the problems with this episode have more to do with how they affect the way we see previous episodes, and why some scenes that were already unfunny are even less funny now.

With this episode, you can at least tell there was some effort being made to tell a more serious story here that went into what made Marinette tick. Yeah, it and the themes of mental health and trauma were handled about as gracefully as a ballet dancer trying to get a bear trap off their leg, but there's at least an attempt here.

Of course, this episode is still awful. The conflict with Kim not getting how much of a jerk he was after a year was dumb (as was him being even more of a jerk as Dark Humor), the fact that Marinette's trauma seemed to come and go when the plot needed it to really showed off how forced it is, and it only ends with you having more questions about Marinette and Chloe's rivalry rather than answering them.

While I'm still not a fan of this episode, and would still place it in my top five least favorites, I don't think it's the absolute worst. Although it's still the worst one so far this season from a technical standpoint.

THE BIGGEST IDIOT OF THE EPISODE IS...KIM

It says a lot when Cat Noir actually tried to murder someone in this episode, yet not only is he not even considered for the award this episode, the person he tried to kill ends up being the bigger idiot. Not only did he easily fall for Chloe's plan when she insulted him to his face, he failed to understand how it affected Marinette for a year, and when he was told about how bad it was, he refused to take responsibility for his actions, blamed it on other people not being able to take a joke, and only gave the smallest apology after he was almost killed for his attitude. It's honestly funny how he somehow comes across as more unlikable than Chloe, the character this episode was made to make you hate even more.

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thekeeperof-thefandoms · 6 months ago

Note

Headcanons of Lucifer watching his s/o and Charlie getting along and maybe even having a little musical note together I just know he'd be getting all teary eyed and shit seeing his baby girl having some form of mother figure or someone she can really look to for advice currently present in her life ❤️ Thanks sm hope u have a good day/night!

Absolutely!

I think at first the relationship between Charlie and anyone her dad dates is awkward because she's so nice and trying to be supportive and Lucifer's new s/o would be trying too hard to create that bond. But steadily, you two would find real things you have in common and begin spending time together.

I'm going to use myself for reference here, but I personally really like arts and crafts kind of stuff and am willing to listen to pretty much all genres of music as long as I like the beat/rhythm. So I imagine most of your bonding is done making posters for the hotel, doing crafts with the guests, and just in general vibing to music together.

Like, one suggested activity for the group is coloring because it's a good outlet and it becomes so popular you guys just have a permanent stack of coloring pages and books available with marker, pens, colored pencils, and you, Charlie, Lucifer, and Vaggie are all just coloring and talking, Lucifer's telling embarrassing stories about baby Charlie for you and Vaggie, and you share a few embarrassing stories of yourself to make Charlie feel better and the absolute relief on her face is palpable.

Charlie is nervous because some sinners critiqued her hotel, her appearance, how her dad had to bail her out in the fight against heaven and it's all just making her upset. And of course her dad and her girlfriend are gonna say stuff about how she's beautiful, the hotel is a wonderful idea, and she was so brave in that fight. And like, yeah you're dating her dad and you've been super nice so far, but when you sit down next to her and ask quietly, "Can I offer you some advice?"

"Please? I feel like I don't know what I'm doing."

You laugh, patting her shoulder. "You're young, Charlie, you're not supposed to have it all figured out. But one thing you can do, is decide not to let judgemental pricks get to you. Take every criticism with a grain of salt. Improve, adapt, and filter out bullshit. You can't make everyone happy, and you'll exhaust yourself if you try. So as long as you're happy and at the end of the day you can say you're proud of what you've done, that you tried....well, that should be enough, right?"

Charlie thinks about it and nods. There's a visible shift in her attitude. "Thanks, I needed to hear that....Do you think you could help me read through some of the reviews and stuff? I want to improve if there's any genuine issue that I can address and Dad and Vaggie are....a lot. They just keep trying to tell me everything is perfect."

"They're just trying to hype you up. They love you a lot, so naturally they want you to feel successful and excited. Come on, let's go make some big bowls of ice cream and read through those reviews using silly AI voices. It'll be hilarious."

You and Charlie head off to do just that, talkin and laughing, and neither one of you notices Lucifer absolutely melting into the floor from a few floors up, as he clings to the railing he was leaning against to ease drop. He's gonna need a few minutes to recover. He's crying happy tears. His little girl is grown up and getting along with his partner and they're spending time together and enjoying things together. You're giving her advice and offering her comfort and meeting Charlienat her level and he's just more convinced you're perfect.

He may or may not be ring shopping in the near future. Probably with Ozzie and Bee. They've always had good taste and will probably be thrilled to help him. And if Ozzie is also casually looking for a ring while they're out, well, Lucifer won't say anything.

#fanfiction #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel lucifer #lucifer x reader

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spidermans-l-o-v-e-r · 3 months ago

Text

Orange Blossoms

Pairing: Buck x Reader

Word Count: 6.6k

Notes: This is late and my schedule is fucked but at least I look super cute right now

Episode 9: Kiss Me Thru the Phone

“This is boringggg” Buck is laid out on the break room table. There hasn’t been a single call all day. It’s been… not loud, suspiciously not loud.

“I’m almost tempted to say it”

“Don’t you fucking dare” Eddie looks up from his crossword and Hen points her fork at him

“You say it and we make you go on every call by yourself”

“Why don’t you bother Y/N?” Eddie says as he writes down another word

“She’s busy, she and May are at the movies together”

“She’s been spending a lot of time with her lately. I’m glad they’re becoming better friends” Hen stabs at her pasta and Buck rolls his eyes

“Yeah, best friends”

“Aww is someone jealous?” Eddie teases and he glares at him

“I’m not jealous!! I just- I got used to hanging out with her that’s all”

“Why are you so far up her ass, let the girl breathe” Hen chuckles and Eddie looks over his book at Buck

“You don’t think I’m letting her breathe?”

“Here we go” Eddie sighs

“You’re literally glued to her side every single chance you get. Let the girl breathe”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about…” Eddie mumbles and Buck sits up so fast the room starts spinning

“You think I’m like… like too obsessed with her?? Like it’s weird right??”

“Right” Hen agrees

“Wrong,” Eddie writes another word

“I should call her. I should call her and tell her we need space”

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard” Eddie sighs, setting his book down “Hen you don’t have all the facts”

“What other fact could I possibly be missing??” She looks at Eddie and he runs his hands through his hair

“Well… here’s the thing-“

“She’s my girlfriend!!” Buck absolutely gushes when he says it, and Hen’s mouth drops open, she pulls out her phone sends a text, and then looks at Buck

“Are you insane?? Cap is gonna kill you! Does he know?!”

“No! And we’re keeping it that way!!”

They heard loud footsteps on the stairs as Chimney comes running up, he’s completely out of breath as he stops at the top of the stairs

“You’re dating Y/N?!”

They all loudly shush him and he drags himself over to the table and plops down in the chair next to Hen, Eddie’s phone pings from the corner, and he chuckles quietly to himself

“You told him?!”

“Best friends share the tea you know that Buck” Hen says simply and he can’t even disagree with that

“When did you start dating her??”

“Oh, I’ve been taking her on all kinds of dates for a couple months now! I’m taking her to the carnival tomorrow, she’s gonna be so excited!! It’s gonna be a group thing I totally forgot to tell you guys you’re all invited… but yeah anyway I basically only care about her. Oh yeah and Eddie”

“Thanks,” he says sarcastically

“That sounds really romantic… we’ll be there” Chimney gives him a thumbs-up

“Okay I guess you were right Eddie, do not take my advice… but when are you gonna tell Cap? Seriously?”

“Fuck if I know… I’m going to let her decide when she’s ready for it and we’ll talk from there… besides, it’s kinda hot hiding it” He falls back on the table dramatically and sighs loudly and they all roll their eyes at him.

“You’re gonna get caught,” Hen says and Buck scoffs

“I am the King of subtly”

His phone starts ringing “I Was Made For Lovin’ You” starts playing and Eddie looks at him

“I think that’s your phone, your Highness”

He flicks him off and answers it “You want me to open my FaceTime? What’s up do-“

Before he can even finish “Doll” he clicks it open and you’re in frame a few feet away from the camera, it’s set up so it’s angled down at his bed, and you’re laid in the middle of it… almost completely naked.

He shrieks and yanks his phone to his chest “I’ll be right back!!”

They all look at him like he’s crazy as he goes running down the steps and into the bathrooms, locking the door and locking himself into a stall

“Y/N?! Are you crazy?!”

“I asked Eddie if you were around Bobby! it’s fine” you giggle as you turn over flat on your back with your feet firmly planted on the mattress

“How did you get into my apartment?? Did I already give you a key?”

“Eddie let me borrow his! How do I look?” You open your legs slowly allowing him to see the new lingerie you’d just bought

“A-are those-“

“Crotchless panties? Yeah.” You say it like it’s nothing like your heart isn’t beating out of your chest right now at this stupid little idea you had

He can feel the way his pants are becoming embarrassingly tight and he leans against the cool tiles in the stall just trying to calm himself down

“So… what’s this all about huh?” He asks and you take your time, flowing your hands over your body and feeling yourself up

“The other day, when I was out with Hen? I asked her to take me to the sex shop because I needed to get some more cleaner for… uh something and I found something… that I was way too curious not to buy. And I kinda just wanted to show you”

“You wanted to show me?” He parrots you, he has no idea where the hell this is going but he’s not mad

“Uh-huh! I’ve got it all ready!” You reach over for something and his eyes go as wide as saucers as you come back into frame. It’s a good-sized dildo, with a bit of an odd base to it

“Apparently, they make squirting dildos! And I just um… well I was curious okay! So I bought one and I want you to see me try it”

“This could not have waited until I got home?”

“D-do you want me to wait until you get home?”

You’re a little quiet, a little hesitant now. Maybe this wasn’t the best idea, maybe this surprise was a bit much… maybe-

“Oh fuck no, dear god please continue”

Buck has never been more tempted to say he was sick and had to go home early. He watches you with rapt attention as you bounce on that stupid fake dick and not his. He watches the way your hands flow over your body and you pinch your nipples as you moan his name, cumming on his sheets in his bed…

You’re so distracted by the little show you’re putting on that you almost miss the soft moan that comes from the phone. Your eyes widen as you look at the camera, Buck is getting off in the bathroom at work. He’s got his hand wrapped around his cock, squeezing the head and dragging his hand back down, coating it in his precum. You stall just a little and he grunts

“Uh huh, I didn’t tell you to stop. Keep fucking yourself baby, ride that dick like it’s mine”

You’re not sure when you press the damn button, if he tells you too or if you just wanted it so badly you did it, but you cum at the same time he does, sobbing his name over and over as you bounce on that cock, the cum gushes inside of you, filling you up completely as you fall onto your side, your legs shaking harshly

“O-oh g-god” You gasp as you feel it spilling out of you. You reach for one of his pillows and curl into it, trying to hold yourself together and he laughs a little

“Shit that was good… that was so good” he’s giggling deliriously and you start giggling with him, just as overwhelmed as he is

“I love you doll,” he says and you blush deeply, he knows how you’ll respond and he’s starting to like hearing it

“I know”

“I’m on my way, I’ll be there soon” You watch him awkwardly cleaning himself up and you curl into his pillow more

“What are you talking about?? Buck, you can’t just randomly go home in the middle of the day!”

“I’ll just tell Cap I gotta run home real quick”

“Buck,” you say sternly and he looks at you, he’s almost too pretty to look at right now… you can see the deep, carnal, lust in his eyes as he stares back at you now

“P-people n-need you”

“What about what I need?” His voice drops an octave as he wets his lips and you gulp

“What about what you need bunny”

He and Eddie hit the gym for a couple hours.

“You know what the best part about going to a really busy place for a secret date is?”

Buck takes your hand as soon as the man puts your wristband on and pulls you through the lit-up gates

Your mouth drops open as you stare around you. It had been a long time since you’d been to a carnival, apparently, things do get better with age

“What’s that?”

Bobby does a head count as he takes Athena’s hand and kisses the back of it

“Alright, don’t lose your buddy… I’m talking to you, Buck. Please Y/N make sure you hold his hand or else he’s gonna get lost”

“We’ll meet up in an hour and get something to eat alright?” Athena says and everyone agrees and breaks off. Buck waits until Bobby is out of sight to lean down and kiss you

“Now you have to hold my hand”

You giggle and lean into his chest blushing, of course he’d thought about that when planning this.

“Where are we off to first?” Eddie asks as he and Hen turn to you guys and Buck points at a booth with little ducks

“I’m winning my girl everything she wants”

“Buck these are totally rigged!” You say as he pulls you towards the booth with the others following

“You don’t know Buck” Eddie smirks

“Alright, baby girl you pick, anything you want!”

“Oh someone’s confident!” The man running the booth walks over with the little water rifle in his hand

Eddie hands the man the money and Buck takes the rifle, looking at you

“I want that” You point to a giant fluffy pink bear and Buck takes aim

“Hen you want anything?” He asks sweetly and she chuckles “I’ll take the turtle”

“I can win both if I get them all right?” He asks and the man rolls his eyes

“Buddy I’ll give you one for your boyfriend too if you make every shot”

“You want something, boo?” Buck bats his eyes lashes at him and Eddie laughs, shaking his shoulders

“I want that dolphin!!”

“Bet, you can get those down now” He takes aim again as the little ducks start quaking and bobbing along, a cute little song plays as they quack in time with the music

Your mouth drops open as he shoots all 12 in a perfect row, the booth shoots out a little confetti blast and congratulatory music plays

“Oh my god!!!” You laugh as the man begrudgingly hands you all your prizes

“That’s right, that’s right, I'm the man” Buck puts his arms up, doing a little spin, and Eddie high-fives him as you squeeze your teddy bear to your chest

“Let’s go play more!!!”

You run from booth to booth, and Buck wins at every single one he plays for you, he wins so many you start giving them to little kids as you pass by. Eddie wins a few, Hen wins a few and you have absolutely rotten luck. You’re pouting at the next one as all three of them win at least a little prize, Buck offers his giant dolphin to a little girl next to him

That was hot

“Come on pretty girl you got this one” He nuzzles your neck and you giggle, he kisses your cheek and lines up the water gun for you, keeping his body pressed to yours even though he has to bend down to be the same height as you

“Now just aim and fire, you’re gonna do great!” Hen takes a video as she and Eddie cheer for you, you take a little breath and aim at the stupid clown faces. You end up hitting all five in a row and gasp, tossing the watergun down and turning to Buck

“I did it! I did it, Buck did you see!?!?” You squeal as he picks you up and spins you around

“I knew you could do it bunny!!”

Buck watches you as you walk ahead of him and Eddie with Hen, shaking the pretty crocheted doll you’d won

“So, how’s that going?” Eddie nudges him and he smiles and bites his lip

“It’s going so good Eddie, like so good. Being with her is an absolute dream”

“Oh? You guys gettin' serious?” He raises an eyebrow and Buck shrugs

“As serious as we can be right now I suppose, I don’t know it’s just nice having her you know? It’s really nice being around her… seeing her every day..”

“So you’re in love?” Eddie chuckles and Buck nods

“Oh yeah no without a doubt I’m gonna marry her. Just call me Evan Buckley-Grant”

“You really want that Nash-Grant name huh?”

“Oh hell yes”

Buck has his arms around you as you’re standing and talking to Eddie and Hen while waiting for the others, Bobby sees you before you all see him

“You’re glaring,” Athena says as she leans into him

“I’m not- I'm just looking, can’t a guy just look??”

“Sure you can look. But you’re glaring”

“Why is he holding her like that. I hold you like that he shouldn’t be holding her like that”

“Buck’s very affectionate, you know that”

“Can he be affectionate with someone who’s not my niece? What about that girl controlling the tilt a whirl! She was very nice!!”

“Why are you so against them being so close?”

“Because I know Buck. I love him like he was my son, but I know Buck and if he hurts her I’m going to run him over with the engine”

“You’re talking like they’re already together” Athena stops him for a second and looks up at him. He sighs and shakes his head

“I can’t shake the feeling she’s hiding something…and if it’s being with him? I don’t… I don’t know what I’ll do”

“Mind your own damn business and let them be happy?” Athena raises an eyebrow and he grits his teeth

“Maybe… possibly”

“Uh huh, well let’s go Mr. Maybe-Possibly”

As soon as Buck spots them he lets go of you, like he wasn’t just hanging all over you, and grins widely at Bobby

“Hey Dad, hi Mom ”

A shudder goes down Bobby’s spine when he says that, something just seems… different.

“So have you guys decided what we’re eating?” Athena rubs Buck’s back and kisses your head and Bobby narrows his eyes but stands next to you

You guys all pick a different truck and come back to a table to share it all, Eddie bumps Buck to the side and sits next to you so he has to sit across from you. He grumbles and plops down next to Maddie who rolls her eyes and pats his back before handing him one of her gator nuggets

Bobby realizes he should have never let you buy that damn corn dog. Because he’s watching the way Buck is staring at you and the way you’re laughing and giggling with Eddie while taking a bite. But no you just had to beg him for a Korean corn dog, something you’d never tried before and he just had to indulge you… Bobby could never say no to you and now he was paying for it.

Buck has had the same tater tot against his lips for the last two minutes as he watches the way your mouth goes around that-

He yelps and drops it as Maddie kicks his leg

“What was that-“

“You’re staring!!” She hisses under her breath and he looks down at his still-full basket and back at you, you look over at him wrap your lips around the tip of your corn dog, and wink at him. He looks down fast, stuffing his face and trying to fight the deep blush on his cheeks and Eddie nearly falls off the bench as he laughs at him

Bobby glares suspiciously and bites his giant turkey leg. Oh, there’s definitely something going on between you three.

“Who’s ready for some rides?” Eddie claps his hands together now that you’re all done eating and you do a little dance as Bobby hands out tickets to everyone

“Where should we-“

You shake Eddie by his shoulders and Chimney laughs at your excitement

“Merry-Go-round!!” You and Buck are on the same wavelength as he fist-pumps

“Fuck yeah!”

“Jesus okay! Alright!” Eddie’s laughing as you spin around grab Buck’s hand and start dragging him off toward the merry-go-round.

Both boys drag you on all kinds of rides, but on the really tall ones you sit out with Athena, it’s not until the 6th ride, yet another tall one that Buck finally slows down enough to realize

“Are you afraid of heights?” He asks as he tries to tug on your arm but your feet are firmly planted

“Uhhhhh” You look around for an out but the others are already in line and Athena is walking over to some benches

“You are aren’t you!”

“M-maybe a little” You blush and he smiles, kissing your head

“Aw that’s okay… maybe we can do something else”

“No no! You go have fun! Athena and I are cool waiting!”

“It’s just… I kind of um, wanted to do something..” he scratches the back of his head awkwardly

“What was it?”

“W-well I um…. I kind of wanted to take you on the Ferris wheel… it’s really romantic and I just- I uh- I thought it would be really nice”

You look at him, your cheeks flushing and you shrug

“Maybe I can tough it out for you”

You sit next to Athena on the bench and she puts her arm over your shoulders

“How are things going with you two?” She squeezes you and you blush, leaning into her

“It’s going so good ‘Thena honestly. He’s just so… so him” You wiggle excitedly and she chuckles

“You guys gettin' serious?”

“As serious as we can be” You smile “I want to talk to him about maybe telling Bobby… something? I’m not ready to confirm it… but I wouldn’t mind hinting…. Buck told me he loved me”

Athena looks at you, her eyes wide “Already??”

“Actually he did on our third date at the beach” You giggle “I haven’t said it back… I’m just waiting for the right time I guess”

“And when would that be?”

“I guess it’ll just happen when it happens!”

As soon as he’s off the ride and out through the gates, Buck grabs your hand and tugs you off the bench “Come on!!” He pulls you along behind him away from the group as you run together, bobbing and weaving through the crowd

“I don’t know about this!!” You call out to him and he turns back to look at you for a moment

“Just trust me!”

You nearly stumble over your feet and face plant as he stares back at you. When did he get so shiny… and pretty… and why are there little hearts all around him. Why are his eyes so bright and full of-

Love.

Oh god.

How does he look so good when he’s running. The lights of the carnival shine around him in a halo, and he’s laughing as he almost crashes you guys into like 50 things but you don’t care

You make it just in time for the next ride and the man begrudgingly lets you on. Buck collapses into the basket and you gingerly sit next to him. You get buckled in and the guy checks the bar before patting the side of it

“Enjoy your ride,” he says in a dull tone before walking away

“B-Buck I-“

You huddle into his arms and he kisses your head

“I promise you baby you’ll love this, and if you don’t you can shove me off okay? Eddie and I talked all about calming techniques”

The basket lurches as the ride starts and you gulp “Just let me know when we make it to the top” You say, covering your eyes and he chuckles and kisses your head

“Alright sure”

It’s actually taking a lot longer than you thought it would while simultaneously not being slow enough. You slowly let your hands fall and look up at Buck. He looks like a little kid, grinning from ear to ear and trying his best not to wriggle because that’ll shake the basket and you’ll hate that

“You okay?” He looks down at you. Have his eyes always been that blue

“Uh huh” you mumble and he smiles, leaning forward and kissing your nose

“Thanks for coming with me, I know you’re probably really scared… but hey! Look you made it to the-“

“I love you”

The basket stops moving and so does Buck. He actually fully stops breathing, his mouth wide open

“Buck??” You wave your hand in front of his face and he stays frozen

“Earth to Buck?? Hello??”

“Y-you what?”

“I love you”

“And you told me. At the top of a Ferris wheel. At night. At a carnival.”

“Yes”

Buck pulls out his phone and pushes your face away from him.

“Mmmph!! Hey!!” You bat at his hand and he keeps pushing you away

“Eddie, Y/N just told me she loved me”

“You called Eddie?!”

“No, I didn’t say it back…”

You can hear Eddie cursing Buck out and you toss your head back laughing

“I panicked!!! Okay, god, okay quit I’m sorry!!” He hangs up and shoves his phone back in his pocket. He takes a deep breath and turns to you, completely calm

“You were saying?”

You giggle and lean against him “God you’re so you”

“Is that a good thing?” He asks sheepishly and you nod, pulling away and kissing him softly

“Mhm definitely”

“You really love me?” He holds you in his arms and you nod again

“I really love you”

“This is literally the most romantic thing that’s ever happened to me in my entire life” He fake sniffles and you snort, whacking his chest

“You’re so dramatic”

“Don’t you ruin this moment for me” he flicks you off and you roll your eyes at him

“Alright, alright, sorry. I’m… also thinking of maybe cluing Bobby in… I’m- I’m feeling k-kind of serious about you a-and-“

He kisses you, silencing your trembling thoughts as puts his head against yours “Whatever you wanna do babe I’m okay with it. We can give him a little hint… I’m just- I’m so happy you’re not secretly ashamed of me or something”

“I could never be! I…I love you”

“I love you too”

You nuzzle into his arms and he kisses your head, rubbing your arm softly. You look out over the fairgrounds, all the people, and the shiny lights and rides…. And all the people at the bottom of the Ferris wheel…. And the red and blue flashing lights..

“Um… Buck?”

His phone starts ringing again and he picks it up

“What’s going on down there??…. Are you shitting me??? Uh… okay thanks…”

Buck puts his phone back in his pocket and holds you tighter to him

“Like I said, this is super romantic, right? Me and you, all alone up here…”

“Buck”

“You know… no one can see us… maybe-“

“Buck”

“And your skirt is pretty short”

“It’s a skort”

“Damn”

“Buck?!!!” You yell this time and he bites his lip, rubbing the back of his head

“Now you gotta understand- baby please I just wanted us to have a romantic moment okay?? Ferris wheels are so romantic-“

“Evan Buckley”

“The Ferris wheel broke. Please still love me” He hides his face in his hands and groans loudly

“I’m so sorry baby, I’m so sorry. I should have never dragged you on here, I just- I just wanted us-“

You pull his face to you, kissing him to stop his panicking and to channel yours somewhere. He pushes you down on the seat and the basket shakes. You scream and he laughs, he laughs hard as he holds his body to yours, covering you.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t think that would happen I’m sorry” You’re slapping his shoulders and he’s laughing into your neck

“I’m sorry baby I’m sorry I love you” He starts kissing your neck, sucking right on your pulse point and you gasp, arching your back off the seat “Lemme make it up to you” He slides his hands under your top and your eyes shoot open

“You are not gonna do what I think you’re gonna do”

“Okay, really it all depends on what you think because you wore a skort!”

“Oh, I’m sooo sorry I didn’t want people seeing up a dress or skirt on rides!”

“Stop making sense” He huffs and you sit up, pushing him back against the sidewall

“How about I show you just how much I love you?”

“Wait what do you-“

You reach forward, hurriedly unzipping his pants and his mouth drops open

“You are not”

“Gotta take my mind off the whole stuck at the top of the freaking Ferris wheel somehow right?” You carefully get on your knees, pulling your hair to the side. He leans forward for a second, cupping your chin and tilting your head up to look at him

“Go on bunny, make daddy proud”

Your breath hitches and he leans back, spreading his legs and putting his arms on the back of the seat

“How do you do that?” You ask quietly, smoothing your hands up his thighs and helping him wiggle his pants down a bit

“How do I do what?”

“Go from being an adorable goofball… to this”

“It’s called being a switch baby girl” He winks and you shake your head, blushing

“Now” He puts his hand on your head, pushing you down toward his cock “Where were we?”

You kiss the tip, wrapping your hand around the base and stroking it slowly… you do not miss the way your fingers don’t meet or that if you really wanted to… you could use two hands, he was not kidding when he said he was… big.

You look up at him, batting your eyelashes at him sweetly as you wrap your lips around the tip sucking on it lewdly. His mouth drops open slowly as he watches you, doing his best to keep eye contact with you, he pushes your head down slowly, amusedly watching the way you hollow your cheeks to go down further, you choke a little as it hits the back of your throat and he gasps, taking your head in both hands and easing it down your throat just a little more

“That’s my good girl, fuck that’s it, choke on this cock” He pulls away and you gasp for air, he laughs and holds your head, bobbing you up and down on his cock.

“Goddamn I wish I could fuck your face properly” He groans softly using your face like his own personal little sleeve, enjoying the way the corner of your eyes water as you keep eye contact with him. He moans and tilts his head back, listening to the way your throat sounds around him, and your sweet little choking noises

“Oh god that’s my sweet, sweet, little bunny” He starts to bob your head faster and you brace your hands on his thighs, your eyes watering more

“This is gonna have to be quick if you want time to fix your face up” He pants out, pushing you down more on his cock and whimpering at your garbled moans

“You gotta swallow it, baby girl, come on bunny, swallow for daddy” You can feel the way his thighs shake as he keeps his hips still and you can feel the way you’re soaking your panties

“Touch yourself, please? wanna see you touch yourself” he’s practically begging, You bat your eyelashes at him, sliding your hand down the front of your skort and rub your clit in fast little circles. His eyes roll back and he lets his head fall back against the cool metal of the basket you’re in

“I’m gonna cum bunny, fuck, keep touching yourself just like that”

Your thighs shake as you get yourself and him off at the same time. You roll your eyes back in your head as he hits the back of your throat again, keeping it there for a minute before pulling you away.

“You ready?” He grins as you nod eagerly and he cums down your throat, he pushes your head down to the curls surrounding his cock and you take it all, getting off at the same time he does like he perfectly timed it. He moans your name, a bit louder than he should but he can’t be bothered to care as he lets go of your head, he helps you up onto the seat again so you don’t fall onto the floor of the basket.

“That’s my dirty girl” he chuckles in your ear as he holds you “Fuck I can’t get enough of you”

You look at him, your eyes bright and sparkly and his heart skips a beat

“D-don’t look at me like that!”

“Like what?” You ask so innocently and he groans in frustration, hiding his face in his hands

“Like you need me to fuck your face all over again”

He helps you fix up your makeup, holding up your mirror as you reapply your lipgloss and touch up the areas around the mouth

“Good thing I remembered to set it,” You say “Or else my makeup would have streaked and that would have been a dead giveaway”

“Maybe don’t set it some time, I’d love to have a picture of that” He sighs happily and you whack his thigh

Maybe getting stuck on this stupid thing wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be.

Bobby has his arms wrapped tightly around you, pulling you to his chest. He knows how you feel about heights, not that you’ve made it much of a secret. He’s a little… surprised with how calm you seem? Even if you’re clinging to him a little tightly

He looks over at Buck, he’s shaking Eddie and Eddie has his hands braced on Buck with his mouth wide open

“What were you doing up there with Buck? I thought you were going with Eddie?”

“Oh! Um he decided to go with Hen since Karen couldn’t make it” You shrug

“You guys uh? spend a lot of one-on-one time together?” He asks, trying to keep the nonchalance in his voice but you know he’s staring daggers at Buck

“Nooo? Um, not really?” Your voice is high-pitched as you pull away from him and he looks down at you

“Are you sure?”

“That’s a funny question, Dad!” You try to walk over to them but he grabs your hand, pulling you right back over to him

“Is there something you wanna tell me?”

“Why do you keep asking that?” You laugh awkwardly and he puts his hands on his hips

“Because you’re giving me a reason to think you’re dating Buck or Eddie. Or both of them!”

What a sandwich that would be, a big dreamy muscly sandwich.

“They are just my friends! I don’t know how many times I can tell you this! And if I was dating one of them I would take my time to establish something before telling you”

“What if that’s what you’re doing now?!”

Oh shit

“Well!! Then, that’s my business!”

“Can you at least tell me-“ He looks so pained, like he’s ready to throttle one of them, or both he can’t decide “If you are seeing one of them, I’ll leave it. You just tell me if you’re maybe setting something up with one of them and I’ll drop it”

You gulp, crossing your arms over your chest, and look away from him��

“I might, possibly, maybe… be into one of them. Maybe!!”

Bobby pats your head lovingly before storming over to Buck and Eddie and punching them both in the face, he kicks them both in the junk and takes turns kicking them both in the stomach. He grabs a nearby fire extinguisher and sprays them down before throwing it at them and then gets in the truck and rolls right over them, over… and over… and over again

“Bobby?? Hello??? Earth to Bobby!!” You’re waving your hand in front of his face as he glares at them, a little smirk on his face as he nods his head

“Hm??” He snaps out of it, looking at you and you put your hands on your hips

“What’s that face for! I said it was highly improbable!!”

“Uh… nothing. Nothing. Are you ready to go home?”

Buck and Eddie come over, Buck looks like he’s about to skyrocket back to the top of the Ferris wheel again and Eddie is giving you a look

Of course, he freaking told him

“You ready to go home?” Buck asks and Bobby looks at him

“Oh. I just asked her that, because you know she’s coming home with me? And her Aunt? You know where she lives?”

Buck and Eddie give each other a look and you facepalm

“Ohhh-Kay?” Eddie says “So you’re going home with them?”

“Looks like it” You shrug, Athena comes over now, putting her arm around Bobby’s waist

“Are you going home with them?” She asks you and Bobby answers for you

“Nope! With us! Her Aunt and Uncle!”

“Are you sure you can’t go with them?” She asks and looks up at Bobby

“May is going to a friends… and so is Harry”

“Sounds like you’ve gotten rid of almost everyone!” Eddie says and Bobby glares at him

“Oh gag, please come with us Y/N,” Buck says and you look up at Bobby

“You and Athena could have the whole house to yourself…” You clasp your hands behind your back and look at him as sweetly as you can “You could get it on” You wriggle your eyebrows and he groans in complete and utter embarrassment

“Ohhhhh Bobby’s gettin' lucky tonight!!!” Buck cups his hands over his mouth and shouts it so the whole team can hear it

“Ayoooooo” Eddie spins around in a circle and you do a stupid little dance cheering with him

“Ayeeeee” Chimney and Hen cheer back and Bobby literally crumples into Athena as she laughs

“Alright, all of y’all knock it off! Look at him! He can barely show his face! You’re staying with the boys tonight right?”

“Right!!” You say excited and Eddie picks you up, throwing you over his shoulder and you squeal as he spins you both around crazily

Bobby narrows his eyes and glares at that but leaves it alone. Buck takes your hands and does a little dance with you as you all head back to the Jeep together. You squish in between Eddie and Chimney while Maddie sits on his lap and snuggle into Eddie’s side

Bucks radio is blasting as you all sing along while driving down the busy streets of L.A, it turns out your voice is straight-up gold and they all know you’re just messing around.

You’re singing Love by Keyshia Cole and it was a joke a first, just a TikTok you’d sent to all of them… but you’re good and Buck is melting as he listens to you singing

“That’s my girlfriend” He gushes to Hen and she laughs at him, rubbing his shoulder and shaking her head

Hen and Chimney are rapping Super Bass and Maddie is dying laughing when Buck looks in his rearview mirror as he drives, he’s not a jealous man, especially with his best friend… but… but-

Your eyes catch his, and you grin snuggling into Eddie more

“Hey, you cold?” He asks you, looking down at you and you look up at him, nodding sweetly

“Uh-huh,” you say in such a little baby voice, Buck scoffs and grips the steering wheel

“Awww don’t worry I gotcha” Eddie unbuckles you both real quick and puts you in his lap. He buckles himself back in and wraps his arms around you, pulling you closer to him so your head settles against his chest and you’re tucked into him

“That better honey?”

“Uh huh, a lot better” You bat your eyelashes at him and Buck accidentally slams on the breaks at a stoplight

“Hey!!” Everyone flies forward and that just makes Eddie hold you tighter

“Sorry! Sorry there- god there was a stupid squirrel” He growls as he waits for the light to turn

“Thanks for killing us and not the squirrel” Chimney jokes and Hen turns back

“I would risk my life to not kill an animal either okay”

“I’m pretty sure we all would” Eddie agrees as he rubs your arm softly. Buck watches you in the mirror again and you look back at him, giving him a little wink

He’s not a jealous man.

He’s not.

The honking behind him and all four of his friends yelling at him to go make him think maybe he is

Just a teeny bit.

He lets Chimney and Maddie off first, and you give them a hug when they leave… and go straight back into Eddie’s arms. Hen is next, you blow her a kiss and they all wave goodbye as she heads inside. You adjust yourself not even hinting at letting Eddie go anytime soon

“Sit your ass upfront”

Hen had barely shut her front door before Buck is turned around glaring at you

“No, I think I’m-“

“Did I say you had an option? Did I say I wanted to hear your mouth? No. Now get your ass up here before I come to get you”

Eddie is snickering quietly and you sit up, putting your hands on your hips.

“You’re not talking to me very-“

Your breath catches in your throat as Buck’s hand shoots out and wraps around your neck

“Bad girls don’t get to breathe”

His words shoot straight down to your core and it feels like your brain shuts off, absolutely zero thoughts, only him. You look at him as sweetly as possible, he’s not really squeezing, but you know his grip strength

“Jesus dude, get a room” Eddie interrupts the moment and Buck lets you go. You fall back onto the seat and Buck sighs, his voice is a little quieter now, but still just as firm

“Come sit up here”

“Okay”

“You gonna sit in his lap too?” Eddie scoffs as you climb over him unnecessarily and out of the car

“If I could I would,” you say and get into the front seat. You buckle up and look at Buck, folding your hands in your lap and giving him the sweetest smile you can

“Hey” you wink and he shakes his head, starting the car and pulling out of the driveway

“Hey” he mumbles back and you giggle, taking one of his hands and holding it in yours

“You are sooo hot when you’re jealous,” you say softly, tracing the shell of his ear with the tip of your finger and he blushes

“Oh shut up” He gulps and Eddie laughs from the backseat

“Weren’t you just choking her out? And now you’re all shy with her up there”

“Leave me alone or you’re next” He threatens and you squeeze his hand

“Boy would I love to see that”

#words by rhys #911 x reader #rhys writes #911 fox #911 show #evan buckley #evan buck buckely #evan buckley imagine #evan buckley x reader #eddie diaz #bobby nash #athena grant #hen wilson #chimney han #maddie buckley #orange blossoms

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