#i am genuinely curious to pick up opinions

[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

QUESTION TIME. i work in customer service and say 'have a good day!' entirely too many times in a day, but i feel like there's a cut off time for saying that. like i'm not going to say 'have a good day!' at 10pm obviously, it's night. my question is, what's the latest reasonable time in the day to say 'have a good day'?

[bettsfic]

one of the best decisions i've ever made was to stop arguing.

i'd always been an arguer. i was defensive about everything and mindlessly contrary. it wasn't all my fault; i was (and still am) talked down to and patronized a lot, and when you live your life that way, you become kind of a raw nerve and dedicate a lot of energy to trying to prove yourself. someone even told me once, "it's just fun messing with you. you get so upset."

at 23, i was working in an environment where about a half dozen middle aged conservative men were always telling me what to do and explaining things to me. i either argued with them when they said heinous things or stewed about it for hours or even days. and so my new year's resolution one year was simply: no arguing.

it felt a little like defeat at first, like i was no longer standing up for what i believed in, even though no matter how right i was or how much proof i had for my claims, no one had ever been swayed by anything i told them. part of that was because they had no respect for me and didn't take me seriously; the other part was the simple truth that arguments are almost never productive. when someone says something and you immediately reply with, "you're wrong and here's why," a wall goes up and nothing can go over it.

i couldn't just let these men talk at me though, so i started asking questions. not leading questions, not with an intention to prove a point or walk them into a corner. i genuinely wanted to understand how they came to shape the opinions they held. i realized that understanding and agreeing are two different things, and just because i seek to understand doesn't mean i condone.

a truly fascinating thing happened: these men walked into corners all by themselves. it turns out nobody had ever actually tasked them with speaking their opinions aloud to a neutral audience. no one had ever been sincerely curious about them and their views. sure, their loved ones probably asked, "how are you doing?" all the time as a show of affection, but that's much different than, "what do you think?"

knowing what i know now, i think that's true of everyone. how many people ask you for your opinion and listen to what you have to say without speaking their opinion back to you? without judging you? how many people actively and intentionally try to understand you?

it's been over ten years since my resolution and i think i can count the arguments i've gotten into on one hand. one finger, even. it's amazing what happens when someone tries to rile you up, pick a fight with you, and your only response is, "can you elaborate on that?"

you can work someone into a very open and vulnerable state when you ask questions. they eventually run out of their usual talking points and move into the personal. when i do this, it's not like therapy; i'm not trying to help anyone. and it's not like teaching; i'm not trying to educate anyone. i just want to understand how people reach the conclusions they've come to. even after all these years of asking questions and not arguing, it still amazes me how few people in this world feel understood, and how easy it is to get them to open up when you say, "i want to know what you think."

[ikarakie]

eddie's impression of steve harrington only really begins to turn around not because of henderson's constant insistence that he's a really cool dude now, but because of his brief interactions with robin goddamn buckley.

he first realises that she's affiliated with him when she pokes her head into hellfire club one day. she asks henderson if he's seeing 'the dingus' tonight, and when henderson confirms that he's picking them up, she tosses a green vest at his face. asks him to give it to him, since he's working an opening shift and left it at hers. eddie only realises later that she was talking about harrington, and the implication that he'd stayed overnight had him reeling. buckley was a weirdo. a band geek. what was king steve doing associating with her?

it only gets weirder. he goes to one of sinclair's games, and ends up a few rows behind harrington. he's whooping and cheering and so goddamn excited for the kid when he gets to play. when the band performs, he screams robin's name during the applause. she finds him in the crowd and sort of wiggles her shoulders excitedly in response. after the game, he sees him scoop her up in the biggest goddamn bear hug and kiss her on the cheek. not the kind of couple he'd expected, but they were cute. he supposed.

but then the kiddies stop her in the hallway a week or so later, asking something about a movie night at harrington's. eddie can't really help himself, he was a curious thing.

"so, buckley," he begins, leaning against a locker. "i'm dying to know how a band geek like you landed king steve as a boyfriend." to his side, henderson sighs, heavy and dramatic. robin gets the most genuinely disgusted face.

"oh, god. ew." she says, emphatically. "i am not dating steve. gross." she fucking shudders at the thought. eddie can't keep his jaw off the floor.

"no?" he asked. "but- the game, the other week. he kissed your cheek." she nodded. he gestured wildly in lieu of response, begging for more information.

"stevie and i," and eddie has to fight the urge to roll his eyes. because, seriously? stevie? she expects him to believe they're not together and she calls him stevie? "are strictly platonic. with a goddamn capital p! people can express platonic affection even if they're different genders!" henderson mocks her quietly, to which she whacks him on the arm. she turns back to eddie. "i think if anyone should understand, it'd be you, handkerchief."

eddie feels his stomach drop. robin's giving him a look. a knowing fucking look. arms folded across her chest, one eyebrow raised. surely not.

"you?" he asks. she nods. "so harrington-"

she cuts him off. "knows." and wow. wow. colour him fucking surprised. "was the first one to know. he's-" there's a pause. "he's cool. so fucking cool." she was so fond, smiling a little. "he's a really good guy. i love him to death."

and well... he believes her. truly fucking does. it's only then that he finally allows the walls he'd built around his opinions of steve harrington to falter, to allow himself to think maybe- just maybe- he is actually is a good dude.

[curio-queries]

ARE YOU SURE?!

Episode 4 production Notes

Again, I genuinely didn't think I'd have anything to say at this point about this episode. I had such a good time the first time I watched it, just smiling the whole way through. There is one thing that did stick in my brain a little bit though so here I am again with another post.

Episode Break Points

We honestly can't be making any final conclusions at this point but there is starting to emerge a picture of how the production team approached the development of this show as an episodic release. The question that was rattling around my brain after watching episode 4 was how they are choosing their cut points between episodes. We really only have three data points right now which is not enough to definitively identify their intent but it does start to paint the picture a little bit. Sometimes, the break point is beyond obvious, like cutting ep.2 at the end of the USA trip. But when there's not a definitive line, a choice has to be made when to bring one episode to a close and start another.

Some shows use the changing of the day as a break point but that's not necessarily always the best choice to make for the narrative of the show. For example, the break between eps 1 and 2 is in the morning after JK has his coffee and makes the stone tower. This better served the momentum of the episode and wrapped up the story beat of JM's rough night. Ep 2 then starts on a high note with JK's motorbike ride. In my opinion, this was an excellent choice as we close ep.1 feeling all cozy and ep.2 begins with a little bit of excitement.

A Look Back

So why am I bringing this up now? It's because I was so confused as the choice of when to break these two episodes. I don't know if I've decided if it was good/bad/somewhere-in-between but I absolutely was not expecting Episode 4 to start the way it did. Ep 3 ends at the Go Karts and feels like a complete story beat. While ep 4 starts with the drive to the Omakase.

To me, it feels like we're picking up on the last remains of the previous episode and not starting a new section. Which is honestly, kind of counterintuitive. Why would it feel like that? They're literally on their way to the next activity. I suspect it has more to do with the tonal momentum. The guys are still coming down from all of the energy they expended from Rock Climbing and racing and are having a well-deserved relaxing drive. Even the brief moments we see of JK on the motorbike are quite chill. (mostly because there's not really a great way to get action footage on a bike in the dark lol).

So...to see if I could support my suspicion, or if I was just bringing something else into my viewing experience, I decided to rewatch the whole series so far and rank every story beat on a scale for how energetic/intense I felt the narrative was supporting.

A couple of notes before you judge my rankings:

This data is the very definition of subjective. if I redid this same exercise even the next day, I'm sure I would disagree with myself on certain rankings so you certainly don't have to agree with my rankings.

If a storybeat had a noticeable tonal shift, I entered it twice and included both rankings. If it just varied a bit, I entered a ranking more representative of the scene as a whole.

This won't be reflective of the time occupied by each story beat. Some sections are longer than others but with sustained energy so it doesn't translate in this visual representation how much of an impact on the overall tone of the episode any one of these are.

I also added a star at the end of each episode of my median scores. I feel that this was a better representation of the overall tone of each episode rather than an average but that's just my personal view on this teeny dataset. Please don't come for me analytics folks! This is just a post for funzies, not proper analysis!

So What?

The point was curious about is in the gap between eps 3 & 4. Everywhere else there's a pretty clear shift in the start and end of the energy but that gap looks like it was just a step that was missed in what could have been a continual episode.

Here are the runtimes of each episode so far:

USA: 56 min

USA: 72 Min

Jeju: 56 min

Jeju: 70 min

I don't have any conclusions about why it was done this way other than they felt the tonal break was the sacrifice for keeping the Omakase story line in tact. Which honestly, I agree. There would have been time to include the drive in the previous episode but it would have left us on an unfinished storybeat. This is one of the reasons that we never get footage of the members return trip from their travel shows. Bon Voyage ends every episode with the members remarking on the trip overall. Even though we know they have to return home, we don't see it because that would start to build energy for whatever they're doing next and not the story of their trip.

Even in ITS1 when the members do return home in the middle, we see them packing up and getting in the cars but the episode ends before they really start traveling. (Actually it ends before they even let Jin in the car so they're definitely not on their way yet!)

Commercials?

I have a question for anyone that's watching this with ads. I don't really watch streaming content so I'm curious, do the ad breaks just randomly occur? Or does it seem like they're intentionally scheduled? Building story breaks for commercials was a huge focus of legacy tv and I'd be interested to learn more about how streaming services are incorporating it (not enough to not have commercials though, I get insta-rage when the content I'm consuming is interrupted lol). I vaguely remember getting frustrated when I was attempting to watch something at my parent's over the holidays but I don't recall if it seemed structured or not.

That's it. That's all I've got to say right now. We're definitely getting a lot more to the story of this show and I'm absolutely loving it. I'm going to be away for a bit next week and I honestly don't know when I'll fit in watching episode 5 but I'm very much looking forward to it!

If you've seen this post and are interested in some more of my thoughts on Are You Sure, here's a link to my AYS MasterList. Still can't believe I've rambled so much about this show but it's been fun! Thanks to everyone that's been rambling with me!

[keepmycandleburning]

IDK if this little section of the internet is just uncharacteristically hateful and negative and miserable lately or what. I've been lurking for like a year and posting since like 2 months ago, and it seems recent. I don't really feel like inserting myself into it anymore because it's not fun.

I loved HP as a kid probably like 9-12 y/o, at which time I picked up on something between Bellatrix & Voldemort due to the be quiet, Bella and the no higher pleasure lines. I reread the series for the first time as an adult in Oct-Nov 2023, and I was astonished at how much more I am able to pull from this text now. I came away with a much greater understanding of several things I'd missed as a kid. One of these is that it was very clear to me that Bellatrix & Voldemort were written to be at least sleeping together. VERY CLEAR. It was AFTER this point that I started being part of the fandom, and way after that I've seen people claiming their relationship ISN'T in the books. To me, this is really surprising, because when I've read the books as an adult, it's quite clear. Once I got into the fandom, I found that there are a huge number of people that agree with this interpretation of the text and find is equally obvious as I do.

However, despite the fact that I've seen a number of claims that they DON'T have any relationship in the books, I don't see people using text evidence to support this interpretation. In my personal opinion, this is probably because this is a very difficult argument to make based on the text. But if you think it can be done, instead of submitting negative anon messages without any text support, why don't you write a meta? If anyone would like to make a post going through all of the things people say are text evidence for Bellatrix/Voldemort and explaining why they're not the case, I would gladly read that out of genuine interest. Or, simply going through all the excerpts on their interpersonal relationship and explaining based on the text what sort of relationship you think they DO have.

I have seen countless people over the years analyze sections of text, lines between different characters, their attitudes toward each other, their various actions, and so on, and explain why this adds up to Bellatrix & Voldemort having some sort of relationship. I have NEVER yet seen someone who DOESN'T believe they had a relationship write a text analysis of their opinion. So I sincerely invite you to go through all the bits of text that Bellamort shippers say are canon evidence and explain why they're not—in individual instances and in total. Explain why = not just 'this is my alternative interpretation without text analysis' but *how you justify this being the case based on the text*. How do you justify ignoring how countless bits of the text can be interpreted all in this one way (Bellamort) and instead interpreting them all different ways? How do you explain what JKR was intending to say about Bellatrix & Voldemort's interpersonal relationship considering all their interactions both on- & off-page? WHY are they written the way they are if they don't have an intimate relationship? Or if you believe they're not written that way, again how can you justify this based on the text? If you need a list of text moments and existing 'Bellamort is canon' metas I can compile one.

I'm curious to see what you come up with, because I've never once seen this done—and because, as I've said, it's not an opinion that I personally believe to be supported by the text. If you can explain why it is supported by the text please do that and I'll consume it in good faith.

[mumpsetc]

Genuinely Asking, (Not sarcastically! This ask comes across as bitchy unintentionally But Im genuinely asking) what do you think the themes of ii are. What the purpose of the story is. Im utterly confused by what you take from each episode. What You analyze and what you don't. Even more so how you think this obvious trick 'ending' Is good at all for the story theyre telling.

Because It feels as though you deeply misunderstand What ii is going for. What its supposed to be. Especially since you called the Relationships petty and useless? Or how you call s3 unimportant (I dont prefer s3 at all, i dislike it in fact. im a huge s1 fan. But to call it uninteresting Is confusing Now that we know what we know.)

So Im curious, What Do You think ii IS about. Why you think adam and justin and brian spent 13 years on this passion project. Because if it was for money, like you've said, why not animate for a Youtube Content farm. Why bother working on this and keeping a plot twist hidden since 2013. Why Would you go into the animation industry specifically siting II as inspiriation for it.

Not what YOU think ii should be about. You've talked about that plenty of times. What IS ii about. What Is the story trying to tell. What is the common Story beats between every single ii contestant, Civilian, and Host.

Now This is an Interesting Ask, and Thank You for Asking It I Enjoy Thinking About Stuff Like This. I Will Be Getting Personal in Response Because I Think This Ask Deserves as Much

To Address a Few Things Off the Bat: I Am a Very VERY Biased Source for a Multitude of Reasons. I Have Been Watching the Show For 8 Years and In That Time Have Picked Up a Lot of Personal and Fandom Related Baggage So I Have a Hard Time Looking at a Character Like Fan Without 8 Years of Feelings Towards Him. Also @ Your S3 Point, I've Actually Been Rewatching Recently to Properly Contextualize It in the Story as Well as View It as a Finished Product. I'm Only 3 Episodes Into That So I Can't Say Much on That Front Currently Other Than a Lot of My Older Opinions on It are Outdated and Also Made When I Was Very Very Angry Haha!

Finally on the General Disclaimers Thing, My Taste in Media is Really Weird in Part Because Inanimate Insanity. I Was Into ii From 13-15 and Then 17-Now. When I Got Back Into it at 17 I Made the Decision to Start Watching Movies and Reading More Books Because I Didn't Want to Limit Myself to ii and Stagnate in My Tastes. This Resulted in Me Seeing a Lot of Things Professionally Known as "Huge Fucking Bummers" and Generally Preferring Bittersweet or Unhappy Endings.

I Like the Fake Ending Because That's What I Typically Enjoy Across the Board. ii Having an Everyone Dies and Mephone Loses Everything End is What Appeals to Me and My Own Interpretation of the Series So I'm Happy. It Might Be Vapid and Emotionally Base But ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I Think I'm Allowed As Much.

To Answer Your Actual Question Though, I Think The Themes of ii are

Existing in a Place Like ii is Damaging for Yourself and Others and Takes a Toll on Your Interpersonal Relationships

An Allegory for Being an Artist in General

There's a Few Others Floating Around Like "Forgiveness" and "What's Real on ii?" But These are the Two I Think are the Most Present and Effect Everything, and I Vastly Prefer the First Over the Second. I Think The First Encourages Interesting Character Dynamics and is At Play With Several of My Favorite Characters (Suitcase, Cabby, Apple, Marshmallow, Paintbrush). The Artist Thing Was Always There But I Just Never Really Cared for How They Executed It.

I Get What the Story Is Going For and Can Probably Atleast Make a Ballpark Swing at It's Ending. Its Steven Universe/Pixar Influences are Worn On Its Sleeve and I Get the Point I Do I Do I Do I Promise But I Just Don't Care for That Sort of Thing Anyways. Is That Unfair Towards ii? Yeah.

On Why I Think ABJ Made This? I Can't Say. I Try to Avoid Speculating on Them or Their Intentions Anymore Because I Think the OSC Treats the 3 of Them Very Strangely and I Don't Want to Be Involved With That. I Disagree With Your Sentiment That You Can't Milk a Passion Project for Money and I'll Leave It at That.

Finally, You Asked Why I Cite ii as an Artistic Inspiration Despite How Much I Dislike It. This is Funny Timing Actually, It's My Senior Year in College And We Had to Do an Assignment Breaking Down Why We Animate At All and I Did Talk About Inanimate Insanity for Mine (For 20 Minutes Too). It's a Show That Means a Lot to Me Because It Has Had an Immense Influence on the Direction My Life Has Taken. It's a Very Right Place Right Time Situation for Me and No Amount of Logic Can Override My Very Emotional Outlook on ii.

I've Been Such a Long Time Fan and I Got So Much Wrapped Up in This Goddamn Cartoon and That's Why I Talk About It, I Got a Lotta Thoughts After 8 Years. I Can Admit a Warped Perspective But This is a Casual Thing I Do for Fun, and I Trust Everyone Reading My Blog to Be Smart Enough to Come to Their Own Conclusions.

[genericpuff]

I'm curious - how many unanswered asks do you have in your inbox? Or do you just delete the ones you don't plan on answering?

do you feel good anon

do you feel good about yourself with this question

targeting me like that

geeeeez

ok but more seriously LMAO i have an embarrassingly large amount of unanswered asks but i do read all of them <3 a lot of them honestly are just from folks like, sharing their anonymous opinions about either LO and LR, with the odd one about comic advice, sharing webtoon recommendations, and other things of that nature!

In the case of the LO asks, it's stuff that often has already been spoken about at length before so I don't really have anything to add (but trust me, I'm usually in total agreement, if I heavily disagree with a take I'll usually try to respond to it but it's rare that that's the case because most of the takes are just things like "wow the art in this panel sucks" like yep it sure do LOL) and often it just feels like my inbox is just like, a comment box for people to get their feelings out anonymously and honestly that's fine, I just also can't really respond to every single one unfortunately, but I do read them and I love y'all's takes!

With LR asks, y'all are way too sweet to me and send me just the kindest things about LR, and I hope y'all know that even if I wind up not getting back to your ask about it, I do read everything you send and appreciate so much the amount of support you've all shown for this project since I took it on <3 A lot of those asks are literally my version of "do it for her" where I read them and it reminds me of why it's so worth doing what I do :') <3

Whenever people recommend me other works to read, I add them to a list and I am currently trying to tackle it :) (honestly that list isn't as big as you'd think, a lot of the recommendations are for the same stuff, like other Greek myth retelling comics or otherwise just bad webtoons that people want me to suffer thru LOL) I just recently finally got a physical copy of Song of Achilles and while it's slow going, I'm gonna be sharing my extended thoughts about it, either in a big Tumblr post or maybe a video if I can motivate myself to do it 🤔

And of course, the comic advice asks... these ones admittedly I do tend to actually move into my drafts because I really, REALLY do want to respond to them, but I'm also not someone to half-ass responses to questions like that. That is a bit of a bad habit on my end because it often means I'm spending crazy amounts of time going over topics that can be researched, but I also just really love talking about comics so it doesn't feel good to get a comic advice ask and just leave it at "idk just start" like yeah, do that, but also I want to pass on all the things I WISH I had known when I was first starting out and I'm glad people see me as someone to learn those things from! So when it comes to those asks, don't worry, I'm picking away at them <3 (but also man, I should probably just like... put together some kind of hitchhiker's guide to comic making or something huh LOL)

Anyways! I do have a lot of unanswered asks and honestly, I'm not really one to delete them, even if I don't get back to some of them it is still nice to read them in their own little curated space separate from my main blog, it's kind of like a personal comment section between myself and those of you who took the time to write <3 The only asks I tend to outright delete are ones that are just like, way too bad faith to even want to give any attention to, or bot spam lmao But for the majority of y'all who have sent genuine asks to my inbox and never saw a response and worry that I might have ignored it or deleted it, I hope you can have reassurance in knowing that they are all still there and even if I can't make time every day to respond to them, receiving all your personal takes about LO and your amazing feedback and kind words about LR is something I'm always excited to see whenever that little notification pops up in my Inbox tab. I see you and appreciate you <3

[igglemouse]

The day starts with an important conversation, one we've been meaning to have for a while now, about the baby. Today, I'm heading to the hospital so that I can get things checked out, a routine visit to make sure everything is going okay. It should be an ordinary check up but I can't help but feel nervous.

Pascal has been unusually quiet all morning. Sometimes he's just like that, maybe he's focused on his next game or something but I do think it has something to do with the baby and my thoughts are confirmed when he finally does speak up. "Will you find out if its a boy or a girl," he asks, genuinely curious.

"Should I?" I reply, wanting his opinion, needing to let him know that it is valuable when talking about our child.

Pascal messes with the food on his plate, yes, pancakes again, and seems to think about it. "Yeah, yeah, I would like to know. I've been curious about it for the past few days. It would be cool to have a Pascal Jr."

That brings a small smile to my lips because it is nice to know that he's been thinking about it. Sometimes he feels so stoic and detached that I've worried that he's indifferent towards it but perhaps that is just how he is.

Sara calls me, her voice bubbling with excitement the moment I pick up. Yep, she's talking about her new guy and sure enough she's telling me that they are officially a thing, boyfriend and girlfriend.

I'm happy for her, especially since she's thought she'd just be single for the rest of her life. Whoever this new guy is I hope he treats her right!

She really wants to talk more about him, gush about him really, but I can't, I do have that doctor visit to go to after all.

And so, I head to the hospital, one step closer to becoming a mom. After a brief wait I'm led to my room and meet the doctor. She seems cordial and warm but also very much down to business. Messing with her machine as she asks routine questions. You know, do you drink, any drugs, are you allergic to anything, stuff like that.

Once that is out of the way and the machine is on she asks me to lay down and relax. Once I do she brings out the...ummm, I'm not sure what any of these things are called, but its placed on my bump, the gel feels a little cold but other than that I don't feel anything.

"Everything looks good Ms. Varela," she says after looking at the screen for a few moments. "And it looks like you are having a girl! Congratulations!"

"O-oh!" I'm not really sure how to react! Honestly, girl, boy, whatever, I just hope they are healthy! Ten fingers, ten toes, you know?

"Just remember, taking care of yourself is taking care of your baby!"

I make it home with a new kind of energy buzzing inside of me because knowing I'll be having a daughter just helps it put it all into focus. I'm also starving, of course, but I feel like I'm hungry for at least half of the day these days.

I'm having a daughter! The thought just nestles warmly in my mind, surrounded by possible names and just endless possibilities of all the things we might do together, all the things I can't wait to teach her, and I'm just so ready to hold her and adore her that it's hard to focus on cooking.

I guess I am making sweet bread, something light and well, sweet, because I keep craving sugary and sweet things aaand maybe that has something to do with the baby? Maybe she'll be a sweet spirit? I sure hope so!

The bread turns out wonderful, by the way, golden and perfectly shaped and turns out being the perfect little treat! It's not enough to fill me, I'm sure I'll be looking for something else to eat a little later in the night but I don't regret it at all.

After though I'm a little confused about what to do with the rest of my day. The stand took up a lot of my days and now that its on pause I'm often just sitting around thinking about my pregnancy.

I really don't feel like opening the stand today and can you blame me? The idea of standing outside in likely 100 degree weather while pregnant doesn't sound like a good one. That won't pause my career, no no no, I'm not one for standing still after all. I've been keeping in touch with Ray which yes, feels strange after all we've been trhough but I think I've found a strong ally here, a super valuable associate.

I've been wondering more specifically if it would be a good idea to start my own Simtube channel. He thinks it's a great idea, not just a great one, but he's willing to help. I'm not really sure how I'll navigate through those waters but I'm sure willing to try!

I thought the day would be winding down after that but a knock at my door tells me not quite yet. It's Marjorie and she's standing outside flashing a wide and confident smile. It's kind of odd seeing her over since I do believe she lives in the gym so I can't help but wonder what brings her over today.

"When are you heading back to the gym?" she asks with a teasing grin this time, knowing exactly why I've been missing. As usual, I can't help but rub my belly, it almost feels instinctual if anyone even thinks about my baby.

"Some time," I say back. I'm really in no rush for it either. "Why? How is it with ummm, the crush?"

"My crush?" She asks as if she forgets our last conversation at the gym.

"Yes? C-crush? At the gym?" As usual my simlish is not that great so I try to keep things short and simple but her confused look makes me think I've said something wrong. I hope I'm using the word 'crush' right.

"Ah! Yes, that guy..." she nods but I can tell the spark she had for this gym trainer must have fled and I soon know why. "Turns out he's a little rough. I mean, in a demanding kind of way? You know how some of those types are, always pushing, always expecting more and more," she waves it off as if she has move don, maybe she has. "Once you get that thing out of there you'll have to head back, you'll be carrying baby weight, you know?"

"Oh!" I hadn't really thought of that. Pregnancy takes such a toll on you physically for sure but mentally as well, I forgot that the weight I put on will not magically disappear once my little girl is introduced to the world. "Y-yes, yes, this is right," well, I guess it will be something to do post-pregnancy? I'll worry about that when the time comes, right now, I'm more focused on just giving her a healthy environment to grow in...

Frida Varela Index ~ Episode 7.3

[cloudmancy]

not to rekindle old discourse if you've moved on, but i was listening to you & @kindlespark's interview on the complicated women podcast / have enjoyed reading your fhjy posts and wanted to ask your thoughts on why the beginning of the season felt so promising to you? i enjoyed the premiere and the premise of the stresses of 11th grade/the rat grinders as foils, but as the season continued i started to feel disillusioned - it seemed less and less like an interactive/collaborative story (cassandra's death, fig's quest to rehabilitate ruben, the ratgrinders being really hard to find/interact with in general) and more of a tour through some unsatisfying callback easter eggs (i simply don't care about porter and it kind of felt like not even emily did). imo the ratgrinders were set up to fail as a narrative concept ever since the bad kids got mad at them for grinding and brennan just sheepishly grinned and shrugged at the camera, and while i share your disappointment that there was no coming together/addressing the root academic injustices that plagued both the bad kids and the ratgrinders, i don't think it was as surprising to me, as the season had already felt too filled with bits/joking around to be that dramatically tight - ironically, i think they got too bogged down in roleplaying scholastic tedium. i tend to come to d20 with a mindset of like, this is primarily a comedy and if they end up producing a satisfying narrative arc, great (and they certainly have achieved this in the past), but i don't think it's a coincidence that most d20 seasons are regarded as having unsatisfying endings - i think it's an incredibly hard thing to do in a ttrpg setting, even for professionals, especially so if their instincts are more towards comedy. they are great artists and improvisers, but evidently that doesn't mean they can't fail to cohere, and i think this season suffered from a lack of investment in narrative all around - brennan not being as flexible with the plot as he's been in the past, the players i think (some anyway) feeling a little tired of these characters and playing them as more chaotic/violent than usual (kristen's random nudism, fig's truancy, gorgug's hatred/bullying of maryann, fabian threatening to skin ivy). idk, i'm just rambling at this point - my overall message is that i'm in agreement that the finale was a letdown, but i'm curious as to how you thought the promising themes interacted with the story/performances in the earlier parts of the season, cause when i look back at it i don't see a unified vision, just some individually interesting pieces that never seemed to fit together, and i don't think i just feel that way in hindsight, but am open to other perspectives (disclaimer that obv this is all opinion and subject to debate)

here are sam's thoughts on it!

ok my thing is that 1) i love porter as a villain and i don't think the twist takes away from his character; i think brennan tied him to ankarna REALLY well and with genuine thought. the lore drop scene in the temple was genuinely chilling and very very cool to me and brennan clearly set up a lot of lore around it that was interesting and not just funny bc fig thought he was bad the whole time. i think porter is a great character and had the bad kids engaged with his philosophy of rage and not had ice feast completely nullify his threat he could've been a really compelling villain. 2) i genuinely had hope for the rat grinders because of brennan's insistence to make npcs like eugenia talk about them as foils, the fact that they used to be the high-five heroes, and the fact that he made them closer to unwilling participants than actual villains. seemed like genuine threads of complexity that the bad kids just didn't pick up on, but i also clearly was fooled bc that brennan didn't react to fig's attempts to convert ruben shows that he wasn't really prepared to have the final battle as anything but tbk vs trg 😭 i think the downtime system was actually really fun and effective at portraying both scholastic tedium while also embellishing the themes (rage tokens!!) 3) this probably wasn't made clear in the ep but i didn't expect d20 to write a perfect thematic story about addressing systemic injustices; i just wanted them to give me any kind of thematic acknowledgment in the battle at all and not just with ankarna. i am very aware that im always reading into the subtext of d20 seasons--that lament is more for the subtext that Could've Been. i agree with you about everything you've said wrt ttrpg settings and lack of narrative investment, but i had higher hopes because fhsy and tuc are so much better with their themes and the themes brennan appeared to be setting up seemed so… obvious to me…. it had me ignoring all the red flags 😭

[lorynna]

Please understand I am writing this from a position of genuine curiosity and not one of malice.

I saw your response to the anon talking about their aroace friend and you both agreed that asexuality is being “muddied” by people who identify as asexual since there’s so much variation between them.

I am honestly quite confused as to why you are dictating the definitions of lived experiences you don’t share. Why do you have to decide how people feel and perceive their feelings if those are completely separate people than you?

Is it truly your business to decide how labels should be applied if you aren’t the one using them? As an asexual, the way you discuss my identity dismisses me and other asexuals as people, because you make assumptions about what and how we should be feeling. It feels dehumanizing.

Again…I write this with no malice, I just don’t understand your position on this matter.

Hello anon.

My response to the other anonymous person submitting an ask involved both of us agreeing about the fact that those labels are hard to get taken seriously due to a lot of people either trying to weaken the definition of asexuality/aromanticism by widening it until cinderella's unique custom-designed shoe is a one-size-fits-all, (in other words:) it completely looses it's meaning and can be applied to the average person or a person who simply has a low sex drive and/or are following a trend, where it "seems cool and quirky" to pick out a label and make it your entire personality until you get tired of it and need to get something new.

Touching on your comment implying that I am calling this term (who in my opinion has become useless due to the above mentioned reasons) as me not rejecting the label therefore but because "there is so much variation between asexual/aromantic people". Which is just...sigh.

I don't think I have to point out that the reasons (again, listed above), that I have also stated in multiple of my takes about this subject, don't indicate any sort of valid variation but the broadening of a simple term until it is applicable to the average person who "sometimes does not feel like having sex" or "feels like not having a relationship for some time in their lives".

Now a counter question. Am I really dictating the definitions of lived experiences I don't share (like you claim) or am I simply talking about my opinion? What power do I have to truly dictate how someone can/has to label themselves? Suprise: I don't! People can continue to pick labels how they please and I can give my opinion accordingly, how I please.

I am challenging you to try and analyze if I am truly trying to be malicious towards actual asexuals/aromantics or if I am just fed up by everything getting used as a trendy label or people pretending to "be cool". I am challenging you to form an opinion on wether or not I am truly coming from a place of hate or rather constructive criticism. And I am challenging you to not see everything that defies your worldview as hate. Opinions are like assholes, everyone has them and sometimes they stink!

My favorite saying : You cannot define something, without actually excluding anyone from said definition. To defines means to limit and that's okay, that is essential. Otherwise words, labels, definitions, it all means nothing. To open the doors to everyone means to protect no one.

I would encourage you (if you are really interested in my take on the topic) to take a look into my pinned post, where I am talking about this more intrinsically. I'll link it here down below.

Also linking here now below the question of another anon that THIS anon is referring to.

[mimibwi]

My thoughts on shipping

I have previously been silently exploring BTS ships and decided to put some of my thoughts on “paper”.

Now, I have been aware of the toxicities of certain BTS shipper fandoms and how messy shipping has been for groups that pre-date BTS such as One direction and Fifth Harmony. I have personally never been much of a shipper before BTS and naturally discovering my ship’s bond and starting to appreciate it. It always baffles me how shipping seems to mean different things to different people or groups of shippers. This is heard often but shipping should be something done for fun and I won’t say I hate that logic or that I 100% agree with it because I personally think its okay if you have a slight inkling your favorite pair may be dating/more than what they say they are and you try looking at it a bit more seriously. I think it’s human nature to be inquisitive and curious. However, like everything, there needs to be a limit and I think that’s a huge problem not only in shipping culture but stan culture in general. There’s been so many times that I have seen jokes or otherwise harmless discourses become a bigger deal than they were ever meant to be.

To me shipping is and always would be about observation, (rational) speculation and possibilities. I am never going to fight with anyone to prove my ship is real in a romantic way because to be frank I genuinely do not know. None of us know and that’s okay. I like discussing the possibility of ships (mainly my ship) being real (this always irks me to say cause every ship is real but anyway) and sometimes even theorize things based on that assumption. This is getting a bit messy because I have so much I want to say but I have no structure to it, bare with me.

Basically, what I am trying to say is, I think shipping is okay within limits. Once again, its all about observations and all of us are only human and can’t help but pick up on things from time to time and who knows maybe your hunch might actually mean something. So I never see any shippers or ship dynamic as a competition. I even seek out analysis, theories and videos of other ships because I love to see the different dynamics and how differently we all think and how things can look solely based on one’s perspective. Despite how frustrating it gets, I find shipping culture in itself very interesting. The way the same things can be interpreted in so many ways, seeing how differently people think from me and in many cases how other’s thoughts challenge my perspective and opinions.

The type of shipping I don’t enjoy is the type that:

makes it a competition of who is the closest or which bond is the best.

is already CONVINCED and 100% without a doubt BELIEVES that the ship they enjoy is the “real” one because like I said before none of us know for sure. It gets even worse because this subset of people speak about their theories/analysis/opinions as if its a fact known by many and some of us just need to get with the program.

degrade other members for ships. this is an instant red flag for me and if I’m being honest, many shippers aren’t as forward with the hate they have toward the member that “threatens” their ship. I have seen many shippers say the vilest things or agree with the rudest asks about some of the boys but at the end say “but I love him though” like…do you? do you really?—

push theories and delusions into the boy’s spaces to get confirmation…side eye. This is one of the worst things to me honestly. Shipping is meant to be enjoyed within fandom spaces and no matter how real you think your ship is, there is absolutely no reason to try to bring it to the boy’s attention that you apparently know what they are. Please do not make weird, inappropriate or suggestive comments about ships on their welives, do not DM them about it, do not DM or bug their family, friends and colleagues about it. PLEASE JUST BE NORMAL!!! If a ship is in fact real, they have their reasons for not being public about it and you as a fan of the group and especially as someone who enjoys the pair should be respectful of that. Sure it’s fine to talk about the duos on weverse or tag the boys in cute edits because I’m sure they like that their friendships are appreciated but please be cautious when pushing it to them through a romantic lens.

I think this takes away a lot of the fun of shipping and these subsets of shippers along with others I may have missed out here are the reason that the fandom tries to push out shippers for the most part. I always joke about many non toxic shippers getting thrown into it when all some of us really do is cry and gush about our ship TT its such a shame. But its understandable since the toxic shippers make up a large, VERY LOUD subset of the fandom and with the track record of shipping among groups, I frankly wish a lot of you weren’t around either.

((a lot more below the cut))

My Approach

To me, showing love and appreciation for the very REAL bond that we see is always going to be essential and the basis of everything I do as a shipper. And I am not talking about any theories or analysis of what we’re shown but taking in and appreciating what the boys say and the many ways they show love to each other.

No matter who you ship this is a very easy task to accomplish because the tannies are so loving and every single pair or trio has a special bond that is intriguing to explore. I have learnt so much in the few years I’ve been an ARMY, not only from my ship but from almost every ship and just the tannies on a whole. They’ve taught me a lot about friendship and help me understand the type of relationships I should aim to have and the type of person I want to be for others. These lessons and small appreciations are what I’ve anchored myself to so that I don’t stray too much from this original plot and even if I do, it’s very easy to find my way back.

That being said, I have acknowledged that I can be very delusional. I refuse to believe any of my theories or the theories that any shipper presents to me as 100% fact, no matter how convincing they might sound. I have accepted that everything I theorize about could be 1000% wrong and very very far from what is true and I’m fine with that thought. It’s what allows me to think up far fetch little theories or blip off into these delusional mind bubbles where my ship is real. It’s also why I can get out of my head and acknowledge the fact that it’s likely that no ship in BTS are romantic [ref to My unpopular(?) shipping opinions and this ask]. All of it is because I leave room for deniability.

I’ve expressed this here before but it is very much baffling to me how so many shippers believe with 100% certainty that the pair they like are actually dating and are willing to go to war over it. Y’all are way better than me because I, personally, refuse to look like a fool on the world wide web. Don’t get me wrong, I would definitely defend the tannies from the “not friends anymore” or “fanservice” allegations but I am not going out of my way to fight with delusional people about 2 Korean men (who I don’t know personally😭) being sexually or romantically involved. Y’all can keep that!

Why I don’t believe the believers

Okay now I’ll try to move on and talk about why some shipper discourses or theories don’t hold up to me and why its quite insane and sort of foolish to believe a ship exists in a romantic light 100% based solely on them. The short answer of this is CONTEXT.

Forming opinions and arguments (I am not saying shipping should be an argument but since many shippers treat it like one, I’m addressing it as such for now) about a topic always requires a massive amount of context and a foundation of already factual information to be built from to sound even remotely plausible and valid. That’s why I mentioned before that a lot of this shipping business is speculation and opinions and frankly some of the speculation/opinions I see from shippers just don’t make sense to me. This is all because with BTS and any real person whose life we only see a fraction of, we lack a lot of context and for that reason building a solid argument from a 5 second clip of their life is difficult because we as outsiders are the ones who fill in the blanks. That’s why there usually isn’t any solid or shared opinion on what certain things said or done by the guys mean because we all have different experiences and biases that reflect in the way we see and interpret people’s actions.

Okay, I am going to go into a bit more detail about what I mean and what type of context I am referring to when I say this: (this is where it may get even messier, stay with me)

1// Situational context- This is more for the shippers that breakdown specific moments and (over)analyze them. Personally, I am a big picture person so whilst there may be particular moments that I see as a moment for or against a particular ship being more than friends, most times one clip or period of time doesn’t affect the way I view a ship. I think its drastic to constantly be changing your opinions based on every clip you see or changing it because a ship hasn’t publicly interacted in a while. Despite all of this, there are many things I keep in the back of my mind and maybe even form fun, (tbh) far-fetched theories on but for the most part it doesn’t change much for me. The reason why is because from moment to moment, clip to clip there is so much context that we don’t have about what’s happening in that one moment. Like did x have a bad morning? did he just receive bad/good news? is he looking forward to or dreading what he needs to do after this? is x going through something personally right now? did x and y have a falling out/misunderstanding? is x looking at y or is he just zoned out?

Okay this is going overboard and some of these may sound quite ridiculous but these are some of the millions of things that give context to a situation and for that reason they’re all things that need to be taken into consideration when analyzing the boys. I won’t even lie, I was thinking about Taehyung and Jungkook (to a lesser extent) for these cause if I see someone calling Tae rude or saying Jungkook is jealous one more time I might lose it. I am not saying any of the above ever happened cause once again I don’t know but all I am saying is stating any opinion of yours of a vague moment as fact without even exploring one of the above or any other possible factors is never going to let me take you seriously. I am also not saying every shipper who talks about a moment needs to be able to tell me what x had for breakfast that morning but if you express your observation/opinion as the truth I expect you to be able to give me CONTEXT. It feels like I am going in circles, I told you it was getting messy.

There are moments that hold up quite well on their own and have sufficient context. In other words, some things don’t require much explanation to be seen as truth. I guess what I am trying to say is the amount of factual information you have should remain proportionate to the assumptions and opinions you form. Too many times people use tiny moments to come to huge conclusions and connect dots that make no sense being connected. And I think its fun to be a bit far-fetch and delusional but it becomes a huge issue when nonsensical theories are posted on the internet and pushed to other people who don’t understand how irrational those theories are. Hence, I often believe in freedom of thought more so than freedom of speech; not everything you think needs to be said, you can keep things to yourself or at the very least only share it with one person or two that you trust to understand your intent.

2// Cultural context- I will try not to stick to this for too long because I am not Korean, so I can add very little cultural context to any ship moment minus those I have been told about before. There are some things that the boys do or say that would probably have a different meaning to me vs someone who is aware of Korean culture. There are many times, none that I can pinpoint at this time, that I see a comment or post explaining a clip/moment with cultural context, which changed my view on that particular moment. Like I said, I am threading lightly here cause there is not much I can add to this conversation. I am adding this here to remind you that the moment that is a big deal to you may just be normal for Koreans shrugs. This one is even more difficult than the first because cultural context isn’t something you can just make assumptions about, its something you need to be exposed to to understand. A mere Google search may not even cut it to fully understand as an outsider.

Things like honorifics and politeness levels of speech or even specific translations need to be taken with a grain of salt. The bromance and skinship aspect of K-pop/Korean culture is also a huge part of shipping that may be new to people from different cultures. In many countries in the West, skinship between men isn’t something very normalized or in many cases even socially acceptable so the amount that BTS show physical affection to each other might be startling to many international fans when it’s something that’s more socially acceptable in Korea and normalized amongst their team.

“Holding hands, linking arms, and hugging amongst friends are acceptable ways to show closeness and comfort. So, don’t assume that every two persons holding hands in public are romantically involved! Conversely, public displays of affection by romantic couples are more toned down compared to in societies like, say, the US”. 4 Distinctly Korean Habits To Know Before Going To Korea (sejong.com.sg)

None of this is to say that certain types of skinship can’t mean more to any two members or to say we can’t find the interactions cute or endearing. It once again boils down to the confidence shippers have when using these moments as proof of their ship being the real deal.

3// Differing personalities, beliefs and relationship dynamics- All of these points bleed into each other and are interconnected in some way but I think this one is basically the backbone of all of the others. Despite having situational or even cultural context, its still difficult to draw any clear conclusions because EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT and any analysis or opinion will need to treat them as such—different people with different values, morals, beliefs, likes, priorities, dislikes, experiences and the lists goes on.

No matter how well the boys get on, they have continuously expressed how different all of them are as people. And because of that, no two ship can or should ever be viewed in the same lens. I think this “mistake” is something I see a lot in shipping: X and Y did this and X and Z didn’t hence XY>XZ, I honestly don’t think its that simple. In order to fully grasp a ship and its possibility of being real, you need to have a good idea of who the people you’re shipping are and what their likes, dislikes, values, priorities etc are.

Now this, like all these other points require a lot of assumptions to be made. Firstly, it assumes you interpret everything they say and do the way they meant it to come across, it assumes that their BTS persona is a good reflection of who they are as people OR that you have a good idea who they might be as people. I don’t know how to explain this one cause there are members that we as fans know as being a bit different on vs off camera and some of those differences are known to an extent but once again we’re dealing with a lot of assumptions so its tricky. Anyway, many shipper theories assume that we know how they’d react in various circumstances.

There are a few reasons I am bringing this up and I’ll mention it here to better explain myself. Like I said, I have been searching around at ship content just cause the more you fuck around the more you find out and I have been seeing people’s takes on shipping and forming opinions on them. At some point, I started feeling hypocritical cause of how my opinion may be different for particular ships and I concluded that this point was one of the reasons why. Let me explain-

I saw some people giving % probability scores for certain ships being romantic and the thought came into my head that Yoongi ships, I think they were specifically talking about yoonmin or sope, are not probable to me if we’re seriously thinking romantically. Even as someone who thinks Yoongi may be into men/women/both/none (girl honestly idk). The reason why i think this way is looking at Yoongi and what (I assume) his priorities and goals are in life. I mention in a previous post that I question the member’s willingness to take the risk that would come with being in a relationship with a bandmate and how I think that many of them don’t come across to me as being willing to. Yoongi is the epitome of that opinion for me. I mention this in the next point but dating someone within the same group as you will definitely be a big deal, it will be a PR/HR emergency if anything goes wrong and I don’t see Yoongi as the type of person to want to play around that and sacrifice his work for love whether he felt emotions or even trained himself to the point that feelings don’t develop in the first place. [I’ve said that I never want to date someone in the same field as me and after that, i haven’t found any of my colleagues attractive or as a romantic interest, even when I tried]

I think another example that works really well for this is Jimin and the way a lot of shipper’s interpret him compared to how I do. I think any ARMY or any one who keeps up with BTS for even 5 minutes, can see that Jimin is a very private person. Of all the members, he comes across to me as someone who is very cautious and particular(?) about the way he’s perceived. He’s very careful with his words and his actions. You can watch any video he’s in and see how much he thinks before he says something to the members (especially when it’s of a serious nature) or to ARMYs. A very easy example of this is how concerned he was in the FESTA 2022 video about how we may take what they said and almost pleading for the audience to just take them by their word (something that literally almost every person who watched that video DID NOT do but we move smh…). All of this to say, I can’t subscribe to theories that believe that Jimin is pointing out things between him and his secret partner or behaving risky with them in front of cameras and giggling about it. I can get into this more but I’ll digress.

I am not sure how these examples will come across but these are just some random examples I can think of where I think varying personalities might affect the way I see a ship. This is not me claiming any particular ship is over another or saying that any of these above points are true because my opinions are based on my specific perception of the different members and I am not claiming I know them best.

All in all, there is only so much (little) that we know of them, its difficult to know for certain what any of them would be like in a romantic relationship. However, it seems like many shippers tend to remove the bits of individuality we do see of each member whenever they look into ships which further makes things even more unrealistic and delusional sounding to me.

To add to this, many times shippers interpret things based on their idea of a relationship without really putting themselves in the member’s place. This is totally understandable considering what I mentioned before about us being the ones that fill in the blanks but it’s one of the reasons why we can’t take our theories 100% seriously all the time. At the end of the day, every single relationship is different and something that might be okay for the members in a relationship may not be okay with you or the way the members choose to deal with their relationship may not be how you think it should or would be dealt with. So once again, you can’t take your interpretation of things too seriously. If a ship is real, we aren’t and would never be privy to their private conversations regarding what is okay for them in THEIR relationship. We don’t know what their limits are or how they would choose to maneuver through their relationship on camera so our view of things will always be one-sided.

4// Knowing the gravity of the situation if any ship is real- This one is basically situational context but on a wider scope and might be the most serious of all of these, despite me putting it last on the list. I think a lot of people who ship members romantically do not even consider how serious a situation like that would be. For the most part, I don’t think this is a problem if we’re just having fun but I think people who seriously analyze things the boys do need to take it into consideration. We all are aware at least to some extent of the state of LGBTQ+ in South Korea. Korea is still a very conservative country and though members of the LGBTQ+ community are actively seeking change, things are not as progressive as one would hope.

Taking that into consideration, any two members of BTS— the biggest K-pop group in the world and one of South Korea’s representative brands— being aware that they have more than platonic feelings for each other would be a huge deal. There’s a lot to consider regarding the way the other member’s would approach it, the way the company would approach it and the way the two members themselves would want to deal with it: whether or not they decide to pursue it and if they do, how they go about doing that.

Any two members dating would serve a huge risk for not only those two members but the group as a whole and the other members individually. Aside from the risks of any of the members being queer, the fact that we as shippers aren’t opposed to the idea of two members dating and the fact that many ARMYs would also be open to it if it ever turned out to be the case DOES NOT take away from the fact that such a relationship may be seen as highly unprofessional and inappropriate. We know all the boys are friends who have grown up closely alongside each other and feelings developing is something that is possible but at the end of the day, they are coworkers working together as BTS and many people may not be able to look past that.

I think many shippers look at ships in a very isolated way. They remove the very real world that we live in and all the problems that would come along with a ship being real and opt to live in a world where their ship is real and everything around them is always sunshine and rainbows. And I get it, that’s way more fun but it is not realistic. I think its fine to have this outlook if you are shipping just for fun but that is a lot of the times not the case. Many of these shippers on YouTube, tumblr or X that seriously analyze these relationships tend to feed a very unrealistic, clouded world view to others that may also be very naïve thinking. This is why a lot of theories grow to become these huge nonsensical conspiracies that any rational person can deduce makes absolutely no sense in the real world. Let’s address some specifics:

Addressing some unrealistic shipperverse theories

Any “real” ship in BTS are not being careless with their relationship in front of cameras or when doing other work. All your theories about them kissing on/around cameras or going into changing rooms together during award shows and coming back dishevel will never hold up to me.

If a ship is involved romantically and the company is aware of it, there’s most likely only a small subset of people that would actually know. My guess of who would know is: some higher ups in the company, the members, a select few managers and maybe bodyguards, possibly trusted and long time members of the BTS team i.e. PDogg, Son Sungdeuk, Slow rabbit etc. and perhaps a trusted PR team to advice them on how to deal with things. Even this list feels a bit too extensive. Anyway I am making this point because I don’t get why shippers think that random hairstylists or camera directors or editors would be privy to such sensitive information. And this stands for any relationship really, it’s unlikely that ALL of their staff are even aware if any of the boys are in more “traditional” (heterosexual) relationships so why do some of you act like it’ll be an open secret if any of them are queer.

Theories about love triangles or stories saying a member left a member for another member are so crazy out of touch?? Any one pair realizing their feelings for each other and choosing to pursue it despite the risk it poses to them and to the team is unquestionably a huge deal and would need to be dealt with an immense degree of care. So its very hard to believe that the members are haphazardly messing around with each other, cheating, breaking up and just overall being messy about the whole thing.

I genuinely don’t get why you people think any pair in the group are being blatant and basically trying to out themselves to the public at this point in their career. It’s not far fetched to think that they would have or want some way to express themselves but I doubt it’s as blatant as shippers suggest. Honestly, if a couple does exist amongst the tannies I am not even confident it’s something the public may ever be made aware of…

Conclusion

All in all, I think shipping is something that can be really fun but needs to be done with a huge amount of care and respect. Making assumptions about the boys and being dead set on one particular possibility being the end game can be detrimental, not only to the boys but to you as well. Many shippers are very confident and secure about their ship being real romantically and will stop at nothing to prove their point. This is a very ridiculous approach because I would bet that a secret couple don’t want or need you to prove their realness, they also don’t need you to spread their message to the world and convert people to your side. It really should not be that serious. Shipping should be something that simmers instead of boiling over. Just enjoy what you enjoy without spreading hate and without seeking real life confirmation through the members or dispatch or their family.

With the tannies getting older, it’s important for all of us to have somewhat of an understanding that what we have imagined or want their life to be may just not be what is true. I would hate (though I have already seen it being in the future of some ships😞) to see the larry-fication of any of these ships where 10-15 years in the future, shippers are still making random connections even if the members are known to be married to other people and have 5 kids. With there being 21 unique pairings within the group, even if it turns out that one of them is “real” doesn’t that mean that the possibility of most of us being wrong is greater than us being right. And that is, if we ever find out…

This was always meant to be the first post on my blog but because of the shipper climate around the time I started writing it, I held back on posting it how I initially intended to. I decided to give it a bit of a revamp and edit it to fit with what I want my little blog here to be. I’ve been writing this for almost a year now and have enjoyed putting these thoughts together in a somewhat concise and comprehensible way. Even if you don’t agree with everything I said here, I hope the main point comes across i.e. no shipper knows better than the other, we’re all going based off our own perspective and rational and so we shouldn’t be 100% certain and we shouldn’t be fighting over or confidently pushing ideas that we are probably wrong about. I really don’t care who ships who (ship and let ship) but I certainly think shippers need to be more careful about the things they say and do in the name of ships.

Thank you for reading!💜

~~🐝

links used in the post:

Harry Styles & Louis Tomlinson 'Ships' Into a Delusional Twitter Trend (ccn.com)

Lauren Jauregui Says Those Camila Cabello Relationship Rumors Were ‘So Traumatizing’ | Glamour

https://www.sejong.com.sg/4-distinctly-korean-habits-to-know-before-going-to-korea/

Interesting reads:

Queer Identity in Korea | CIEE

Ask a Korean!: I Love You, Man

It’s all in the Touch – Skinship. (스킨십) | Elwood 5566

LGBTQ Koreans Eager for Anti-Discrimination Bill | TIME

Narrow but Significant Win for LGBT Rights in South Korea (voanews.com)

[bonecuisine]

OKAY I finished watching khaos reigns and here's my short ass opinions and questions because I'm bored (and tired kajdjend)

(!Spoilers ahead!)

Things I liked:

• I like cyrax, her character is intresting to me. I was actually invested in her story and I found some of her intros really sweet. Not to mention she is GORGEOUS in my opinion.

• Empress mileena and the two seconds of ashrah, khameleon , and li mei🙏

• Found WWll johnny kinda funny and interesting, maybe it's because I'm a history nerd idk

• (hot take) I actually liked how we saw a bit of Harumi, not to mention I find her very pretty

• One of my new favorite mortal kombat screenshots:

ALIRGHT time for the dislikes

sorry to anyone who might disagree. Again these are just my opinions and if you do disagree, that's fine like what you like I can't control that.

• Sektor just..pissed me off kinda? Along with Bi-han (no surprise there), she overall didn't interest me as much personally

^ Add on to this, and sorry to be a hater, especially because I don't like doing hate posts(?) That often but HOLY FUCKKK I'm not a fan of the relationship between them😭 It genuinely is just..so random and I'm not the person to hate on ships (unless if it's illegal/proship) but this one..this one is just NOT on my list. To anyone who likes it again, no hate to you! Just my opinion.

• emperor Rain didn't interest me that much, sorry. BUTTT he is not dislikeable at all

^ ANOTHER add on and I was talking to a mutual about this eailer, I feel like we didn't get like..enough of him(?) In a way where I'd actually care about his death. Yes, it was sad, but I really.. just never felt interested in his story.

• Some parts of the story felt kinda rushed imo

Now for my questions..

• I'm curious about madam bo's relationship with sektor. As in mentioned in intros it doesn't sound healthy..especially because from what I picked up she's against sektors ideas with the Lin kuei (along with sektors father) and seems to be upset by it (which is understandable)

This one as well

which I'm totally not adding because I MIGHT feel this one

That's really my main curiosity at the moment? I think I have others but I am writing this late, anddd my brains kinda dead 💀

ANYWAYS, saying this for the 100th time but if you disagree/like the characters I dislike thats totally fine! I legit CANNOT control what you like or what someone Is interested in! These were just my opinions and I thought I'd share :D

[thistlecatfics]

hey, sorry if this is annoying but i just found your works today and fell for them completely. your descriptions of bellatrix made my very old fixations rear their heads again. i was wondering what your current opinions are on jk rowling? i tried to look here but only really found things from before her terf-turn and that’s what i’m really interested in your thoughts on. i’m just curious and will be very grateful if you’d be considerate enough to answer

Hello! Thank you so much! Definitely not annoying and if I ever got an ask I didn't feel like answering I could very easily ignore it or delete it :)

The short answer: fuck jkr. the world will be better off when she dies.

The long answer: Yes, I feel anger towards her (see above lol), but there's also grief there. These books (and the fandom but the root is the books) helped me so much as a kid. I loved them, and it felt like I could be loved back by them. When I did EMDR therapy for my experiences of incest, I used Sirius Black as a resource to help me through one particular thread of memory and one of the themes that came up for me repeatedly during reprocessing is how much fiction and storytelling helped me survive and how grateful I am for storytellers. When I was a kid, if I was asked which celebrity I'd want to meet, I'd always pick her. She was important to me. I'm sad. I'm hurt. It feels genuinely painful to try to reconnect with some of those feelings.

Everyone likes to mock her casual post-canon reveal of Dumbledore as being gay, but that happened exactly as I was starting to come out and actually accept that I was gay, and it genuinely, genuinely mattered to me, and I'm stubbornly resisting the urge to feel embarrassed about my teenage joy and relief now.

(I always say I had some practice with this feeling of betrayal because the other book/book series which was so important to me as a kid was Ender's Game and Orson Scott Card was such an extreme, violent homophobe, but it definitely hurt more with jkr.)

(I recognize I'm gliding over the genuine fatphobia, antisemitism, sexism and racism in her writing and extra-canon world building but I do think the transphobia piece is the central one here - the area where she's doing the most acute and extreme harm.)

The embarrassing longer answer is that I'm arrogant enough that I think I could pull her back to reality (and get her out of that mold infested house) if I was given enough time with her. I'm really patient and really convincing and I have a ton of empathy for women who have experienced extreme patriarchal violence which has shaped their political views - even in a way that disconnects them from reality.

I'm also someone who is put off by how in many progressive spaces there's the dominant view that gender is a playground, not a violent system of power relations, and so I can connect with her on that point enough that I can fantasize about helping connect her to the full humanity of trans people (and also herself because by dehumanizing others we dehumanize ourselves.) (there's a lot to be said about the unique balance of wealth and whiteness and gendered trauma (and social media) as creating a potent dehumanizing force.) BUT I recognize that's just my impulse to fix and rescue and want to recreate this safe adult figure in my life and it's definitely not fucking happening lol.

(I also have a lot of feelings about how the fandom tries to deal with the problem of jkr but this is already plenty long and you only asked about my feelings about her haha.) (but yeah in general I follow the 'no financial support of her - not even a little bit. not even watching the movies on max or purchasing anything that might give her a cent.')

going to finish off with this really beautiful short piece of writing from Chinese Canadian trans woman writer Kai Cheng Thom from her book "Falling Back in Love with Being Human." Her ability to lean into empathy and love is a north star I try to follow.

[merakiui]

For that ask game, i'll be answering it genuinely and with how i truly feel when it comes to your writings. Forgive if it's long-- Here goes:

👀👀👀👀👀 putting you on notif even; always a joy to see your new thoughts everyday

⏰⏰⏰ Sometimes you drop two or more bangers on such a sort span like, ma'am-- how do you do it??

💀💀💀💀💀 few examples that haunt me till today is DRU and promising young man; the fear i got from reading them are so delicious

💌💌💌 always nice to read extra tidbits and extra headcanon, or just seeing your ask posts in general <3

🤡🤡🤡 and boy, there are times when i feel like i have a clown nose ready to plaster onto their faces; clownery and irony are sisters in some ways

💖💖💖 your writings are so delicious i'm actually tempted to read the ones outside of twst, specifically the ones abt scaramouche (thank u for introducing mouchey to me <3)

🥵🥵🥵🥵 literally horny gripping my thighs for dear life--

💔💔💔💔 i remember having to douse my head in cold water after HBE; anyway, yes, your angst gutted me more times than i could count--

🍓🍓🍓 When you write fluff they always got me soooo >_< they're downright diabetic!!!

🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸THIS. THIS BE THE MAIN REASON I"M DRAWN TO YOUR BLOG LIKE SHARK TO BLOOD

🎀🎀🎀the same with the fluff, the way you write these scenes always give me butterflies and got me sooo 🥺🥺 <33

🧠🧠🧠🧠🧠 methinks your brain should be studied and put on display in a museum <3

🌺🌺🌺 even when all the death/bad end flags are there, i still hope the otherwise because i want them to survive so badd

🍄🍄🍄🍄🍄 i'm insane about how you write them actually, loving the mental gymnastics i go thru whenever i read them <3 you really bring the freaky out of these freaks uwu

🩰🩰🩰🩰🩰 not exaggerating, but the first time i found your blog i felt like finding a hidden gem and has been in love with your writings until today (and i suspect for an even longer time <3)

🌞🌞🌞 and sometimes they turn me into an emotional mess and make me insane (affectionate)

⭐⭐⭐ not only they draw me in immediately, they refuses to leave my head; they're living rent free as we speak--

🎨🎨🎨 plenty times i have to look up meanings and symbolism from your writings and it's so much fun gaining new knowledge!

💡💡💡some of your fics really do got me thinking "How did you come up with this???" and i am always INTRIGUED

🧸🧸🧸 how can i not when they're THAT good?? They's comfort fics! (and said comfort fics have not given the characters comfort AT ALL)

🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀 the emotional rollercoaster you put me thru everytime i read your stories is real; i don't think i'll be getting off soon.

📗📗📗 THEY SHOULD BE BOOKS IN MY OPINION ACTUALLY

🧩🧩🧩 oouughh it's got me acting like that one meme of a guy with his whiteboard

💐💐💐i ADORE how you write your MCs, each one of them has such a distinct personality and a refreshing point of view!

🧶🧶🧶 they flow so nicely and smoothly >_< especially love it when you write bickerings like old-married couples

🧊🧊🧊 even when said character may not act like this in canon, the way you write them actually feels like they might??? Somewhere in the multiverse of this specific character, there's this character acting just like how you write them--

💎💎💎 and i especially love it when they're unreliable narrators and/or slowly descending into madness <3 but yes, i just love you write thought processes of each characters in general

💧💧💧both tears of agony and joy, definitely. The butchered got me bawling actually, getting so attached to Marisa even though knowing she won't survived... OTL OTL

🌌🌌🌌🌌 some i wish you'd elaborate more, like that aein in ant hill fic with floyb because i'm honestly curious with worldbuilding of that one

😱😱😱 and you make an amazing build-up towards it too! They're not so sudden and you can even pick the crumbs as the stories go. love it when my suspicions are proven to be correct

🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵 like a moment of epiphany; and i have to say, "Good Luck, Babe" would make a good fem!rido song--

🍇🍇🍇 very very great taste i must say, they're like *chef's kiss* ✨✨✨

🍆🍆🍆 considering they make up the majority of your writings, AAAAAA yes i do love how you write them >_< (they're very much canon in my heart)

🪀🪀🪀 they're definitely not a quick read to me, but they're highly enjoyable!!

🔮🔮🔮 i can't say how many times your plot twists make me feel like getting hit by a baseball bat-- (in a good way) and sometimes (many times) i have to put down my phone and go "....hUH? WUH???"

💣💣💣💣 countless times you've put me on the edge of my seat and got me bouncing me leg in anticipation >_<

🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬 they way you write your stories are so vivid that it's so easy seeing them portrayed scene by scene in my mind (sometimes i like to even imagine them in a visual novel game format)

🎱🎱🎱 and they blew my mind every time <33

🎩🎩🎩 everytime you update new chapters, i like to re-read the previous chapters in order to refresh my mind and see the current plot in its wholeness

🧛🧛🧛 so much that i'm dropping everything i'm doing every time you posted a new fic <3

In short, i bow before your throne of godly writing skills and rejoice for the feast you kindly bestowed upon us <333 again, i'm sorry of it's long >_<

(ask game)

KHEYY, YOU ABSOLUTE MADLAD!!!! YOU DID ALL OF THEM AND PROVIDED EXTRA THOUGHTS????? Sending you lots of kisses and happy vibes in a package because WAAAAAA THIS IS SO SWEET AND KIND OMG?!??!?!?!?! ｡°(°.◜ᯅ◝°)°｡ thank you so very much!!!!! I am cradling this message in my heart forever and always,,, 🥺💖 please don't apologize for the length!!! These positive vibes added so many years to my life!! (〃´𓎟`〃) I am incredibly honored to be a blog worth putting notifs on for,,, and to say my works should be books, that they can be imagined in VN format, that many aspects and more can be enjoyed so thoroughly....... AAAAA OMG YOU'LL MAKE ME CRYYYYYY!!! T^T

These pictures illustrate how I felt reading every one of your lovely words. I'm so flattered,,, orz orz uuuwaaaa I will continue to cook up the most delicious of feasts!!!!!! ᕙ( •̀ ᗜ •́ )ᕗ

[yunogf]

lmao i asked bc, as you said in your tags, there was a certain way that it comes across as with how you’re talking about it, so i genuinely wondered bc i was gonna listen to it as well. i’ve been reading plenty of comments about it as well that mostly just lean on “aoty” “soty” “best album ever” and i get that these are (hopefully) exaggerated claims by stans, but i was seriously yet to see a decent comment about its musicality. it’s either about his face in the mv or his voice or the aesthetic of the mv. nothing on the lyricism or the instrumentations or its creativity or depth, so i was hesitant. i get liking it, but i doubt its being “the best”, so when i saw that your comments were the same, i began to wonder if this is another case of exaggerated praises and it’s just... meh at best. nothing new and all that. i am still gonna listen to it on my own ofc but, i guess, since i’m not really his fan, i’m not all excited. amazing debuts usually create tractions of their own, and i don’t hear much for this, but i ain’t judging based on that ofc. anyway, no need to feel attacked. as i said, i was genuinely curious so i asked. i’m well aware that i have ears. i was just genuinely curious about what you actually thought about it, what with your unhinged tags and whatnot. that’s all.

hard to gain traction when ur company announces ur album 2 weeks before it drops!

i was thrown by your wording and i still kind of am but i don't listen to music i don't enjoy and that's across the board for any artist bc....why would i do that lol and maybe ur not in the right circle being a casual fan/non-fan bc I've seen most ppl talk abt the musicality along with everything else 🤔

ik u said u were genuinely asking and i appreciate the explanation but im picking up on an overall unimpressed tone ("hopefully exaggerated" "doubt it being the best" ?) and it feels like u've made up ur mind about jaehyun and his music and ur asking me to give u a reason to change ur mind/care/be impressed but that's not my job ur free to make ur own opinion to me it seems ur going in with a half formed one already but it's music so like it or leave it either way is okay! ur under no obligation!

I'm sorry if being a kpop stan (im assuming...?) has made u feel disillusioned by solo releases tho i understand bc ppl are often overhyped by fans but jaehyun is a music enjoyer who did his homework and worked with artists he himself is a fan of and the payoff is really good music

overall ur ask is very uninformed which if ur not a fan is understandable but as a native english speaker myself listening to an album that is almost entirely in english from a nonnative speaker i have to say the lyrics are very well done they make sense create good metaphor and aren't superficially about balling or making a lot of money (i loathe to hear this often in eng versions of kpop songs lol) and jaehyun is credited as a lyricist on almost every song afaik

the production value is solid "can't get you" has an entire band accompaniment (the trumpet >>>>>) he wrote/worked on "flamin hot lemon" with emotional oranges (one of my fave artists actually <3) so that one is Excellent in every regard esp for a song inspired by cheetos lmao I've said numerous times that none of the songs sound like they were created with the intent of 30 secs going viral on tiktok (a very important differentiation for me) and one of my favorites parts about the title track "smoke" is the outro it's soooo good there's an unexpected bit of piano that he adlibs along with >>>> and the ballad "completely" has a Gorgeous piano backing to it (the lyrics on this one are also so beautiful)

my excitement about the release may have overwhelmed me so i might not have broken down each song beat by beat but rest assured i'm not wasting time on music i don't enjoy

in summation the album is good and on a separate unrelated note he just happens to be really hot ❤️

[thegrimreaperisanerd]

About DUCKLINGS, can you tell us more about Julien? I am so curious to know what he was/is like and what was your thought process for creating an ex boyfriend for Kim.

(You don't have to answer everything of course, especially if you plan on expanding on that later as you write more)

Sure, he's not a fleshed out character or important to the plot in any way so I'll condense what I've got in my head. Under a readmore since I'm waxing poetic about fic stuff again.

I actually didn't think this would be interesting to anyone! It just made sense to give him a name since Kim's probably not going to think "my ex" but whatever the guy's name was. Hence "Julien" (named after my favourite song from Placebo's Battle For The Sun album; which is underrated, but that's entirely irrelevant...)

I don't have an appearance in mind for the guy since that's usually the last thing I conceptualise about characters (apart from instances where it's important OR I just get a vibe from them. The shopkeeper from Imprinting popped into my head with red hair and teardrop shaped glasses for example, I knew Dom was going to look "exceptionally white" as part of his narrative foil)

Anyway: This is a relationship Kim entered into due to its convenience. I imagined Juvie cop Kim being sent to a school to do a "join the RCM" (boo) stall at a careers fair, then *clocking* a guy putting WAY too much effort into his role in a "don't do drugs!" play for the kiddies.

They bone a couple times, the guy does RCM adjacent work so he's not put off by Kim's job (tends to be a deal breaker), they go on a few dates and Kim generally has a good time during. J: "Do you want to make this exclusive?" Kim (wasn't having sex with anyone else anyway): "Sure." A few months pass. J: "My lease is up, can I move in with you?" Kim (paying rent for a flat he only really sleeps, shits, and shaves in): "Okay."

Suddenly (as can happen when you spend most of your waking life working) a significant amount of time has passed, J has become significantly attached and Kim didn't really notice until he has to decide how to respond to "I love you." "Oh..." (O-O)¬ "Okay." Wasn't really the response Julien wanted.

There's a fight, and Kim *does* feel bad about being a bit blasé with the guy's feelings, but when J says "You work way too hard for a place that doesn't respect or appreciate you anyway." It hits *a bit* too close to home, and as such when that's punctuated by "You need to spend less time working and more time with me, or I'm gone." Kim let's the guy pack his bags and go.

I haven't thought about how *long* the relationship lasted but they probably knew each other for a year at the minimum.

Main concrete personality type for the guy would be egotistical and self-obsessed, despite not being particularly good at what he does. <- Kim finds this grating.

He wouldn't care to ask Kim how his day was when he comes home from work. <- Kim actually prefers this.

He has opinions on art and acting and speaks about that *a lot*. <- Kim doesn't care, but was happy to let Julien talk since it meant he could sit quietly and drink his coffee in relative peace.

Despite the time they spent together J never really got to know Kim that well, Kim doesn't like to talk about himself unprompted and J didn't care enough to badger him like Harry does.

He would have been honest with Kim at least (which he appreciated) hence Kim knowing that J thought he was a bad cook.

Kim would have been in his late 20s - early 30s, not as mature, *genuinely* still believes he's just not working hard enough and THAT'S why he's been passed over for promotions. He's still scared of his Captain, and most superiors, at this point and EASILY bullied into picking up extra shifts.

At the age I'm writing Kim now he would have ended the relationship himself rather than let it fizzle out over time.

Kim at least liked him enough to share a living space, and still thinks about the guy fairly often considering a decade has passed. <- lonely.

That's about all I've got concrete! Thanks for the ask!