#i am devastated right now
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WHY DID Y'ALL RECOMMEND THAT I WATCH LOKI SEASON 2
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for any other lovers of reluctant persuaders it seems series 4 was the last
#reluctant persuaders#nigel havers#josie lawrence#mathew baynton#mat baynton#rasmus hardiker#olivia nixon#i am devastated right now#as much as i am disheartened i am so grateful for this sitcom#thank you to every cast & crew member!!!#rj: news#rj: reluctant persuaders#rj: 2023
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Not to sound like a person who actually cares about children, but it's so alarming that there's this tendency and trend of not telling kids about their medical conditions that are in their charts.
I'm finding out as an adult that they (though it's not documented who) diagnosed me with a life-long, chronic condition without telling me when I was a teenager. I found out recently when I got curious about my medical charts, and otherwise, I would not have known what's wrong with me. I've been left with more questions than answers, and I feel like a private investigator investigating my own damn health and life.
Is this medical malpractice? Yes. However, I think it also speaks to a broader point of how children are seen to not be entitled to their own lives in any capacity, to the point where they are (intentionally or not) made ignorant about things that are or will affect them.
#youth liberation#politics#it is looking like i may indeed have this condition and it was diagnosed YEARS ago and wasn't treated. i am not too thrilled right now#i am honestly angry and devastated because my life was made SO much worse and i could have received HELP before it got bad
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Me (whispering to myself as I hit play on Merlin s1ep1 once again): And like the cycle of the year, we begin again
#Merlin#bbc merlin#arthur pendragon#merthur#and like the cycle of the year we begin again#is this how the format works?#idk#but this is all I could think as I was hitting play#because I JUST finished my last rewatch like a week ago#am I mentally well right now?#no#am I trying to watch Merlin to fix it?#yes#is watching the most devasting#heartbreaking#completely soul crushing show going to help?#ya know we’ll find out
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When the exploration auto-select puts both my yakumos and both my morvays on one team and i have to manually break them up to distribute amongst other teams like freeze-dried rations
#my guardians and healers are valuable keystones in my exploration crews#to put all 4 of them in one team is to devastate the economy (i am the economy)#auto-complete you Are NOT being very Auto right now#or at least. not very SMART auto#if i have to be the smarter one here?? i don't know where we went wrong...#*CHOPS the yakus and morvs apart* please DO separate#maybe i spend too much time in the firewaterwood explorations where they're always askin for a morv or a yaku#maybe if i spent more time doing dark explorations they'd be putting all my reis and kuyas on one team and i'd be complaining about THAT#please don't put every saboteur i own on that expedition to the dark territory#terrible things will happen to whichever poor soul has to tag along in the 5th slot
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Clown satyr design cuz yeag. actually might be too red and not enough black but whatever i like it for now
#this just in: murderous clown enters victims brain and refuses to leave - immune system left devastated#no shading because i am so dead right now it would put ancient ghosts to shame#the grass was very unnecessary#clownpierce#mcyt#art#digital art#hyponauticart
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something i've been learning again and again recently is that tged has absolutely wonderful reaction image material
i've been using these on my priv twitter account and it has been VERY fun scrolling back and seeing them,,, they work so well
like theyre so silly,,, they fit so well,,, i can use them in any situation,,, and the art expresses it perfectly,,,
they,,, may have replaced my tmnt ones
if i had the storage space i absolutely would go through the webtoon again to get fun screenshots for reaction image purposes,,, alas i do not so i will just use the ones i take every now and then
i love the art in tged so so much im so glad i read this webtoon
#tged#the greatest estate developer#lynn misc#genuinely i didn't think it'd knock me the fuck out of my tmnt fixation#not that im no longer interested in tmnt bc i very much still am#its just. on the backburner. cause. tged takeover in my brain#now i have. twice as many WIPs it might be a little bit of a problem#very short storytime i had actually been reading greatest estate developer since around the start of the webtoon#i liked it back when i started a lot it was one of my favorites at the time too#but the severe SEVERE attachment (thats two severes) didnt begin until way later#specifically. A WEEK BEFORE MY FINALS#do you know how devastated i was. to suddenly get severely attached to a media i like to a liferuining degree#RIGHT BEFORE THE TIME THAT I NEED TO FOCUS THE MOST#insane. insane!!! what the fuck lloyd why would u do this to me#i did in fact fail a final but its ok i still kind of passed the class
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Pizza Supreme, the turtles have clothes!
Anyway, part one of sketches for the always amazing @amevello-blue and @alicat54c 's En Passant, the direct sequel to Pawn's Gambit -
In which the adult Rise turtles adopt their clone-children! Shenanigans, trauma and family feels ensue!
Reaaadd ittt pleeasasseee!
#illustration#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt fanart#sketches#ill have part two soon. but i am engaging in combat with the scanner right now.#this series is such an experience. swinging back and forth from heartwarming family time to emotional devastation on the regular!#i recommend it#and all of their other work! Bardi recently got to fulfill a lifelong dream in another timeline!#maybe one day i can keep Draxum on model consistently. but it's not today.
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One of the most beautiful things about being a Christian is the fact that I can take my sorrows, my worries, my pain, my joys, my desires, my hope--all of it!--directly to God. And he cares about it. Even when it's small and personal, and even when it's so big I can't deal with it myself. I can take all of it to him, and I know he will take care of it.
#there is so much peace even when I have a lot to trouble me#i was absolutely devastated today to learn something (it doesn't directly affect me but it hurts me to know about it)#and I couldn't deal with it myself#and I haven't been the greatest at keeping actively in prayer recently#but this was so big I had to take it to God right away#and the peace I have now that I've done that is so great#sometimes it feels like “WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING”#and i don't for a second want to dissuade someone from doing something if they have the means and the abilities and the backing to do it#BY ALL MEANS IF THE LORD WILLS IT GO AND DO IT#but some things are beyond our abilities#beyond us in every way#but if it still bothers us we can take it to God and rest assured that in taking it to him#we have done more than if we had personally tackled the issue ourselves#because what is impossible even for the most powerful person on earth is not impossible with God#and we are promised that if we pray in accordance to his will he will answer those prayers#so i have taken my pain to God and I came back feeling renewed#what a friend we have in Jesus#how blessed to be able to take my sorrow to the GOD OF THE UNIVERSE#i am so grateful for being the uniquely Christian ability to approach our God and speak to him directly#he is so so good
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im on this side of TikTok rn:
#Now imagine this interspersed with Chappell Roan; Which could mean nothing; and the “how strange is it to be anything at all”#I’m like actually in the trenches rn#Like it’s in a way played as jokes but I am indeed devastated#Pride#yeah that’s right that’s going in my pride tag#Im not a kissboy#Tanner your so cool
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#it’s 6am… I haven’t slept more than two hrs… I feel destraught and destroyed… I feel sad and scared and I feel like what’s the point?#I am amazed by the level of hatred and ignorance in this fucking country… because honestly it does still amazes me.#I know it shouldn’t… rationally what happened shouldn’t be shocking… I’m still left with a hole in my chest#I feel numb. but I feel like I want to cry and scream and I am so angry right now!!!#I am so fucking angry. it’s 6:09am… I need to get ready for work and I don’t think I’m ready to face the world#I don’t think I’m ready to go outside and have to witness the devastation of last night’s result#it’s 6:11am… you guys… I… don’t know what to do…
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This blog is not deactivating ever I’m not planning on moving but I may in the future this feels so stupid to say but I feel like I should say something.
#personal#i am just so incredibly devastated right now so like don’t expect to see me around for a bit
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Hi Uncle Neen! HYH! It sucks to see you struggling cuz you are a big inspiration of mine :( but you said you did your makeup the other day. Can we seeeeeeeeee maybe?
d'awwww ksahdlkdss, you are so sweet, nonnie! thank you so so soooo much, baby! xx i really needed this. i hope i heal ( i will...i have to, i am too much of an asshole to let god win, fuck him ) and i hope you heal from whatever harms you as well! you can do it! mWAH!~
-- also brb crying ;-; <3333 whenever y'all tell me i inspire you, it seriously makes me want to cry; you mean SO much to me, so to mean so much to you; it's Everything to me, my love. thank you for believing in me, know i believe infinitely in YOU and will keep fighting the good fight, living authentically and modelling pos behavior on this blog bc i take being a role model very seriously. :')
BUT ANYWAYS! sakhdlasd oh my god aaAaaAAAaa please!!! YOU ARE SO CUTE, THIS IS SO CUTE OF YOU, hELP AAAAA!!!!!! but yes, of course, of course. considering i am super bacteria nina right now and had to resign from my ( admittedly ) trash job and am no longer, at this moment, an education girlie ( besides on here, ofc, educating you on my two gay sons in love ), i can freely exist and post pictures of myself again! thank you for for giving me a safe place to do that. <3
i'll elaborate on what 'safe' means to me down below, but just for context i took this...sigh...last week, when i was told i would 'all better', just trying to feel like myself again after a month of being unmadeup and unfitted and ugly and troll-like and on death fucking row and fucking miserable as hell, i had my new hair appointment lined up, was about ready to take life by the balls again...and that shit BLUE BALLED ME SO HARD AND SAID *ravenstan vc* JK, BABY!
okay, sorry i have some really bad scarring and wounding up there by my neck so i had to cover her up but...there she is! the she beast!
as for posting pictures of myself just...please...PLEASE BE KIND. and i wish i meant that as a joke, i mean it very, VERY seriously. i am at a point right now, where i look my very fucking worst, i am weaker than i have ever been in my life, there are abrasions all over my body, which per the results of my culture ( i was right...several fucking times and no one would listen to me ) my body is trying to kill me and right now...it is Winning. ( i'm not gonna lose tho, dw, i am a nasty bitch from hell and i refuse to die this ugly, i fucking won't; choke )
tldr; I AM VERY VERY VERY SENSITIVE ABOUT HOW I LOOK. I DO NOT FEEL PRETTY, I AM LIKE ONE BAD COMMENT AWAY FROM TEARING THE SKIN OFF MY FACE AND I AM TELLING YOU GUYS I CANNOT DO THAT, I CANT CREATE ANY TEARING ON MY BODY OR THE BACTERIA WILL TUNNEL AND ITS HARD ENOUGH AS A BITCH WITH DERMATILOMANIA.
PLEASE BE NICE TO ME.
i know we shoot the shit on here and are funny and clown eachother, you guys are my family; it's what families do, but my boundary is that you can say i am pretty and be objectively kind or Please do not send me anything At ALL about how i look; i CANNOT take it rn. i know were just joking, but please, please, PLEASE Do NOT compare me to any ugly creatures, make me feel weird about any part of my face, tell me i look blurry, say anything is too big or too small…
please don’t meme on me abt my appearance...Ever.
it’s a very sensitive spot for me and makes me v anxious.
all this to say, i love you; thank you for being my home.
HYH.
-uncle nina, single ravesey mother and human petri dish
#idk what the face tag is ill make one later#but there she is#this is so sweet thank you guys for caring i swear i want to post more i am just so weak rn that its hard to keep my head up#ill talk about it more later but the test results were kinda hard for me bc they were scary and it is pretty serious#and very fucked up bc they could have caught it at er number one but they didnt catch it until my fifth drs appointment#and i had to beg...and lo and behold i am very fucking sick now and everything sucks but i am gonna beat it don't worry#anyways sorry for momming you guys i miss my kindergarteners i didnt get to say goodbye i am devastated#but i am actually very sensitive about how i look and do think i am ugly most days especially rn so please be kind to me#i only say this because i had a couple of anons who had good intentions send me anons joking with me about how i look#and it put me in such a bad depression that i like couldnt look at my face for days and it devastated me i am very sensitive#so please only kind words like objectively positively kind please don't make jokes about how i look or try to be funny#not in a good place for it but sigh...my hair...it is falling out rn so that sucks i'm out of comission for a week and a half#up to a month...assuming i get better...I WILL DW SORRY I WILL and i have stuff i'm working on right now#ask memes and i am trying to write so hang in there i love u#HYH <3
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#made it back to school last night from my childhood hometown in NC#i feel so strange... i got there on thursday afternoon and came back yesterday but i feel like that weekend lasted a month#i think i am in shock still.. the area i grew up in is so utterly and completely devastated i can hardly comprehend it#not to mention the surrounding states...#and even though we were just trying to survive while i was there and it was so so scary .. it was only temporary for me#i get to go home to my cushy apartment with running water and electricity while some of my closest friends and family are wondering#if they can get enough water#and so many have lost their livelihoods or even their lives#some of them have gotten water and power back but others are still stuck. and i feel like i am still there even though im not.#its like this weird anxious guilty numbness feeling that wont go away and gets worse whenever i turn on lights or see a case of water.#i dont live there anymore but I am so emotionally tied to that area ... and i was there for the storm and saw the aftermath#but its not actually my home so i feel like... i dont know what I feel actually.#but i dont feel good#and then i feel guilty for feeling bad too!! like I dont deserve to be upset or traumatized?? maybe i should go to therapy again...#idk if any of this even makes sense... and i dont mean to be all me me me during all of this. i guess I am just tired and need to vent a bi#anyway please please pray for the people affected by the hurricane. and if you can donate that would be so so wonderful.#it seems like it will be years for the area to fully recover. if it ever even does.#if youve read this far you have my apologies for my word slop... heres a heart for you 🩷 and a caterpillar 🐛 i think i need to go to bed#i have class and rehearsal tomorrow. even though all of that just seems kind of pointless to me right now#but maybe more sleep will help...#my post
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genuinely insane to me that i had fried food and a milkshake for dinner tonight and it didn’t give my gut issues but i had two (2) cocktails the other day and almost threw up and died on the floor of that german restaurant 6 hours later. no more alcohol for me. anyway can someone get the fruit gummies i have in my tote bag for me, hazel is on my foot and i don’t want to disturb her.
#i realize this isn’t a huge deal for Normal People but i am on a specific medication that gives me a sensitive tummy#and right now it’s saying no alcohol (fine) or carbonated beverages (devastating)#like the greasy chicken and fries and shake don’t phase me#but three sips of bubbly drink will end my entire shit lmao#wild
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MY TUMMY HURTS
#devastating news#yes i am ignoring everything bad happening right now but tummy ache not ignorable#sighhh 😔
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