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#if youve read this far you have my apologies for my word slop... heres a heart for you ๐ฉท and a caterpillar ๐ i think i need to go to bed
the-fidgety-fiddler
ยท
7 hours
Text
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#made it back to school last night from my childhood hometown in NC
#i feel so strange... i got there on thursday afternoon and came back yesterday but i feel like that weekend lasted a month
#i think i am in shock still.. the area i grew up in is so utterly and completely devastated i can hardly comprehend it
#not to mention the surrounding states...
#and even though we were just trying to survive while i was there and it was so so scary .. it was only temporary for me
#i get to go home to my cushy apartment with running water and electricity while some of my closest friends and family are wondering
#if they can get enough water
#and so many have lost their livelihoods or even their lives
#some of them have gotten water and power back but others are still stuck. and i feel like i am still there even though im not.
#its like this weird anxious guilty numbness feeling that wont go away and gets worse whenever i turn on lights or see a case of water.
#i dont live there anymore but I am so emotionally tied to that area ... and i was there for the storm and saw the aftermath
#but its not actually my home so i feel like... i dont know what I feel actually.
#but i dont feel good
#and then i feel guilty for feeling bad too!! like I dont deserve to be upset or traumatized?? maybe i should go to therapy again...
#idk if any of this even makes sense... and i dont mean to be all me me me during all of this. i guess I am just tired and need to vent a bi
#anyway please please pray for the people affected by the hurricane. and if you can donate that would be so so wonderful.
#it seems like it will be years for the area to fully recover. if it ever even does.
#if youve read this far you have my apologies for my word slop... heres a heart for you ๐ฉท and a caterpillar ๐ i think i need to go to bed
#i have class and rehearsal tomorrow. even though all of that just seems kind of pointless to me right now
#but maybe more sleep will help...
#my post
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