#i am completely fucking normal about them

[drmaddict]

N.F.I. - Not Fucking Invited

Summary: Michael and his girlfriend are spending Christmas with Michael's family. One morning, when they both just want to enjoy their togetherness, they are both rudely interrupted by somone who what not fucking invited.

Word count: 904

Author's note: Somehow I seem to have an urge to let Ewan's characters get caught.

She doesn't know what she thought Michael's family would be like, but definitely not so... normal.

His father was quite a successful builder. His mother was a hearty housewife. His older brother was training to be a car mechanic and the family dachshund, Baloo, had hip problems.

It had been strange when she first entered the house. He had invited her round for Christmas. He said it was because he wouldn't have a single lively conversation otherwise. But he seemed slightly nervous, when he introduced her to his mother.

A warm, slightly chubby woman who almost broke her back the first time she hugged her. Just like his father crushed her fingers, when he shook her hand.

It was all unexpectedly unremarkable. Most of the time the two of them withdrew and spent a few quiet hours together, but somehow his brother always found a way to interrupt them both.

Whether they were discussing their last lecture, gossiping about fellow students or just sitting together in silence. He found them.

Michael always looked more annoyed than the time before. Siblinglove didn't even seem to spare geniuses.

Only in the morning did they really had their peace from him. He was a late riser and therefore no danger until about eleven o'clock.

They were both still lying under thick down on chistmas day. The sun was just about to stretch over the horizon. She looked at his face. Relaxed. His eyes closed. His glasses were on the bedside table. His hair was tousled. Only his thumb, lazily tracing circles on her hip under the blanket, revealed that he was already awake.

She bit her lip. It had been quite a while. The pre-Christmas stress and preparations for the final tests for the semester had kept them both apart. And nothing had really happened since they'd been here.

But his thumb on her skin made her sigh silently.

She pushed herself even closer to him. With a mischievous grin, she put one leg over his hips and pulled herself as close to his body as possible.

His eyes fluttered open and looked at her questioningly. With a grin, she slipped the pantys off her legs and simply threw them away. Michael's eyes showed her, that he understood.

His gaze flitted briefly to the bedroom door, but then he too pulled his pyjamas and shorts out of the way. They caressed each other lazily. Kissed without haste. He slipped his hands under the sweatshirt he had once 'lent' her. They cheered each other on quietly and then he sliped into her.

Under the protection and warmth of the blanket, they gave themselves to each other.

She knew he liked this kind of sex. There was something meditative about it. It calmed his otherwise restless mind.

She ran her nails lightly over his back under his shirt. He buried his face in his-her  sweatshirt. The world was perfect.

Until the door opened.

"Get up already. There are presents.", his brother whined.

They both looked at him, perplexed.

"You're 24! Can't you wait until after breakfast like any normal person?"

"No!"

"Get out of my room!"

His brother leaned against the doorframe. She realised in that moment all too well, that Michael was still inside her. Involuntarily, her centre tightened at the thought. Michael's breath hitched.

"Am I interrupting something?", his brother grinned.

"Always.", Michael bit out. His hips jerked forwards slightly.

"Then come down." He said sweetly and disappeared. The door still completely open.

Michael took a deep breath. "Fuck.", he whispered. "You like that.", he simply stated. There was no question to be found.

My hips twitched slightly at the thought of the open door.

"It's surprising us both.", she whispered.

Michael picked up his rhythm again. Faster than before, but his hips only moved minimally to minimise the rustling of the blanket.

She buried her hands in his hair. Moved towards him just as quickly. His thumb found its way between her and onto her bundle of nerves.

The knot inside her tightened. Her nails clawed into his shirt and then she fell. With her head buried against his chest, she jerked haphazardly and pulled him into the abyss with her.

They lay there, slightly out of breath. Still entwined. He buried his face in her hair. She savoured the soft, washed-out fabric of his T-shirt on her cheek.

They made no attempt to break away. They both enjoyed the feeling of still being connected. They both let themselves drift with the cosy lightness.

"Are you coming for breakfast? Your brother is driving me crazy.", they both heard Mrs. Gavey's cheerful voice.

"Yes Mum.", Michael said far too quickly and watched tensely as his mother disappeared down the corridor again.

He jumped up frantically, completely ignoring the fact that he was half naked, and quickly slammed the door shut.

"Fuck.", he whispered.

She pressed her lips together and took a deep breath. "Sorry.", she whispered back.

He just shook his head. "We'd better get dressed or my dad will be standing here too."

She smirked, but fished for her knickers and reached for her toiletry bag. She planted a quick kiss on his lips and wanted to leave to the bathroom, but he stoped her by the upper arm.

"Don't think we're not repeating this in the library.", he clarified.

She smiled, but her stomach fluttered excitedly at the thought.

"I can hardly wait."

"Little minx."

[daftdrac]

If you were in a conversation, what topic would you like to talk about? :D

Something X-Men related, probably specifically anything deadpool or wolverine (Deadpool isn't exactly X-Men but I'm counting him cause he's also a part of this hyperfixation) anyways I LITERALLY GOT THIS NOTIFICATION WHILE IM WATCHING THE WOLVERING AND THE XMEN CARTOON LMAOOO Yeah I'm super into. X-Men shit right now because I watched Deadpool 3 and my brain said YES. THAT. I am absolutely taking this as an opportunity to rant by the way cause there is so much random shit about this show that has me giggling. Errrmmm spoiler warning I guess ?

FIRST OF ALL LOGANS VOICEEEEEVEVEVDBDBE 👹👹👹 I'm not one to simp for fictional characters (lie) but I'm down bad JUST because of the voice (also lie im down bad for a lot of reasons)

ALSO THE FUCKING AMOUNT OF LOVE INTERESTS HE HAS IN THIS. JEAN, (KINDA-ISH) WHO DOESN'T SHOW UP UNTIL EPISODE 23 OF 26??? SOME RANDOM JAPANESE WOMAN WHO'S MARRIED TO A SAMURAI?? SOME ALIEN-MUTANT-THING WOMAN WHO WORKED WITH HIM AND WAS HIS GIRLFRIEND BEFORE HE LOST HIS MEMORIES OR SOMETHING ?? Emma kinda but not really she's not an explicit love interest but you can kinda tell it's a little implied at some points. I definitely am forgetting a few my memory is still shit but A BISEXUAL CHARACTER AND NOT A MALE LOVE INTEREST IN SIGHT <3 thats why Cyclops is here. He's supposed to be kind of a romantic rival to Logan kinda (cause they both like jean or whatever idk it REALLY doesn't seem like Logan likes jean all that much but I guess he does) but it really just ends in them having tension that feels less like they despise each other and more like they're waiting for everyone to leave them alone so they can go at it so I'm counting Scott even if he isn't like OFFICALLY a love interest he basically is

Oh also gambit is a thing for like 2 episodes. All he does is cause issues which. Gambit core I guess idk much about him 💀 all I know is he is REALLY like. Cunning and confident and shit. Tryin to think of the word. CHARMING yeah he's charming. Or supposed to be I guess he looks a little funny so he just makes me giggle looking at him. Honestly if he wanted to fuck Logan he could probably convince him to buy he's in love with one of magneto's daughters or whatever?? That he met for like a few hours and kissed once?? Before being thrown in a cell for kissing magneto's daughter??? And then abandoning her after promising to take her away from genosha with him?? I don't even know man.

Anyways I'm a complete noob X-Men fan I literally didn't know jack shit about anyone but Logan before I started watching this. Already a hardcore wolverine/cyclops fan they're gay to be fr with you. I should read some of the comics huh. Anyways here's my live reaction to Logan and Scott interacting like normal people:

Also silly goofy images from this show no I'm not sorry 3/4 are Logan he's BABYGIRL in this okay

Here have a poolverine meme to end this post

[sleepymaven]

The Bsd "Fyodor is Atsushi's Father" Theory:

My Not-so-Deep, Not-so-Serious Explanation on Why This Could Totally be Canon

Signed: A Sleep-Deprived Idiot

(Spoilers for the Entirety of Bungou Stray Dogs)

So... with Chapter 118 in bsd releasing, I have noticed a lot of Fyodor as Atsushi's father related things popping up and... I'm not mad about.

If anything, I'm happy the theory is getting more attention. People even seem to be taking it as canon fact, even if just jokingly.

Really, I believed the theory was plausible since it first was brought up in the fandom, but I never actually thought it would be canon because that just seemed too crazy. But those were the thoughts of a sweet summer child since the manga has gotten to the point where that might be the least crazy thing possible.

So, here I am at my keyboard yet again, ready to ramble about how, if this does somehow turn out to be canon, this might be actually rather predictable even to those who don't dive deep into the nitty-gritty lore.

Now, I won't ramble on and on endlessly about the book and Atsushi's ambiguous past and how he may be the book or a page from the book and yaddy-yadda. Instead, I'll focus on some key aspects of Atsushi's character design. First off...

His hair.

As I said, this is not all that serious or deep, so take my words with a grain of salt before you start bashing me or something for being ridiculous. You signed up for ridiculous when you started reading past the title.

Anyway, back to Atsushi's hair.

As we almost all know, Atsushi used to have a black streak in his hair that was later removed for unknown reasons, but he also has white hair.

Now, I could jokingly proclaim, "Hehe, biologically impossible Fyodor x Nikolai lovechild," and be done with it, but I am no clown, unlike Nikolai. No, I have a better, probably completely wrong, idea.

Most of us know that Fyodor has a thing for white-haired men.

Exhibit A: Every fucking member of the Decay of Angels

I rest my case.

Also, I feel the need to mention that 3 out of 6 of them have red-ish eyes while the other two have purple-ish/blue eyes. Just pointing out that little tidbit I noticed while finding pics for them.

So, it would make sense for Fyodor to pick and choose which attributes to give to his quote-on-quote "son" when he made him from the book, picking out certain traits he found appealing and pleasing to the eye.

(Also, yes, this could mean that Fyodor could have chose specific attributes that were similar to Nikolai. Boom, lovechild route.)

This could explain certain similarities between the characters who seemingly have no biological connection between one another. Their only connection then only being through Fyodor by just knowing him.

Got all that? Alright, next up...

His eyes.

Now, Atsushi's eyes are rather unique, even for the world of Bungou Stray Dogs. What also sticks out about them is the fact that they are pointed out and focused in from time to time.

Example:

(Fucking gorgeous eyes he has, btw)

To break down the colors of his eyes... While in normal lighting in the anime, they appear to be normally purple and yellow with just a hint of green in it, but under the full moon (as seen here) we can see that his eyes are a light green-yellow at the bottom and purple on the top that fades into blue.

(There are also a few times where his eyes also change while using his ability. Like when they turn almost fully yellow.)

I want to point out the colors of his eyes and the fact that they change due to certain circumstances (i.e: using his ability, being under the full moon), which is clearly not normal in their world seeing as how other ability users don't seem to do that at all.

(Edit here: I actually would like to mention that, in the manga, Nikolai's eyes also change color. The green one sometimes will change to match his normal eye whenever he uncovers it. I saw a theory talking about how it might change depending on whether or not he is lying at the time, which is pretty neat. More Atsushi and Nikolai parallels.)

Now, this might seem like a bit of a stretch just like the rest of this post, but the colors used for his eyes are similar to the eye colors of people Fyodor knows, though they are different shades.

Purple like Fukuchi. Green and blue from Nikolai.

Fyodor's eyes are also a shade of purple, kind of, so... Yeah, that works too, but Fukuchi's shade of eyes are closer to Atsushi's.

Yeah, that's all I can think of now and this is already way too long (if I start talking about Atsushi's mysterious past, I'm going to make this a mile long. Maybe later tho), so I'm ending it here for now.

Alright, bye ya'll.

[sylkshe-gone]

𓆩     ❛  do you have to go ?  ❜   the grasp she has upon the selkie's hand tightens , cheek melting into the woman's shoulder.   ❛  i know you do ... but ... i don't want you to.  ❜     𓆪

𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒂𝒍𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒅 that forms to the flower girl's visage , thumb idly stroking over the crest of her cheek.   The other , saved for her own , fingers intertwining.   There is a shattering in her heart , to hear her beloved speak so , but o , cruel is the fate for the selkie.   No , not a selkie ; a tool.   Threads pulled from the lifestream  &  woven together to a tapestry of magic that isn't really truly her own.   To a form that relies on the materia she was born of.   The Fallen Angel , it is called  &  to her very little understanding of the material plane , of this world , very rare.   Found by Professor Hojo in some ancient ruins  &  rescued ... by she.   She , who radiates such warmth  &  tenderness  &  an unyielding love for the flowers ... it was the flowers.   When Aniela's amber gaze first set upon Aerith tending the flowers in her church , that's when she felt that undeniable ache in her heart ... that longing  &  desire.   But the wicked hand she is dealt keeps her barred , just out of reach from the one thing she truly desires more than anything ; a flourishing relationship with Aerith.   But instead it is this —- only a few hours at most together before she has to , needs to return to her materia to recharge  &  rest. (  If she could , she would go through all the pain again , if Hojo could have figured out how to separate her from the materia.  ) ❝  𝑊𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝐼 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 ... 𝑏𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑦𝑜𝑢 ... 𝑖𝑡 𝘩𝑢𝑟𝑡𝑠 , 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑛 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑙𝑦 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑣𝑒𝑦.  ❞   Lips silky soft press to the brunette's forehead.   I love you.   It's there , but not yet ready.   ❝  𝑆𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑜𝑛 𝑚𝑒 𝑜𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑓𝑖𝑟𝑠𝑡 𝑡𝘩𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑛 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 ?  ❞

SMOL PLOTTED ASKS / ALWAYS ACCEPTING ! ( @onegil )

[sapphire-weapon]

so while it is a cool little attention to detail thing that one of leon’s idle (and sometimes running) animations in RE4make is him stretching out the shoulder where he was shot in RE2, it does add an extra layer of fucked up to his character lmao

like. that gunshot wound happened six years ago. if it’s still bothering him, that means that there’s some kind of permanent damage there -- and it’s probably nerve damage. and since it was a government doctor who patched him up in the first place, it’s not like they don’t know that that’s a thing. so the federal government is basically like “hey leon we’re going to send you into the most dangerous combat situations on the planet by yourself. hope your shoulder doesn’t lock up and/or your arm doesn't go numb at the worst possible moment and get you killed. good luck!”

and then you keep thinking about his nerve damage and remember that las plagas specifically attack the body’s nervous system and it’s like lmao oh that’s why leon’s plaga progressed so quickly, and why it was on par with ashley’s despite her having been injected with one days, if not weeks, earlier than he was -- and why he didn’t have to go through any of the additional “rituals” that she did in order for saddler to take over his shit.

it’s like the RE4make devs looked at leon and were like “so how can we make him even more pathetically miserable” and the animator who’d already decided to retroactively break his nose was like “hey i got another idea”

[grimgummiesart]

I'm normal about this character (lying)

Also tryna practise drawing him without his disguise/costume aughh

[larrythefloridaman]

WOAH, HE'S BIGENDER? I DIDN'T KNOW THAT!

[alluralater]

just finished moving around/reorganizing my entire bedroom. i have cried three times today but now i’m laying in bed, my room smells of roses, and i’m eating french bread. this was not the bipolar hot girl mania i was promised but damn if i don’t do it well

[oathkeeper-of-tarth]

Also I quit my job of what would in about a month or two have been 10 years, and perhaps now I will get to actually be a human being again.

[th3archivisst]

The Day after the fight in 1889, Hob has a dream. In this dream, he’s laying on his side, looking into his stranger’s eyes as a tear slides down the man’s face. Seeing him cry makes Hob sad, so he reaches out and cups his face. The stranger melts into the touch, grabbing his wrist and holding on for dear life. They stay like that for the rest of the dream, until the stranger quietly murmurs “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” Then, he kisses Hob on the forehead and whispers “this dream is over”

Hob didn’t know what it meant, until the stranger told him his name.

The dream, as it turns out, had been real. Hob guessed that by himself of course, no way Dream would tell him. But it made kissing the being for the first time much easier, knowing his feelings were returned. And when he gazed into Dream’s eyes that night, mirroring the dream from so many years ago, he smiled.

“Apology accepted.”

[adhderall]

well as you can see besides being ugly as all fuck I'm also extremely bitter so that doesn't help at all in making me appealing. but it also comes with the territory you see, being treated as a hideous freak of nature for your whole life kind of does things to your psyche.

also going into shit in the tags as an extreeeemely jaded individual who's been on every side of the discourse and KNOWS it all VERY PERSONALLY so I know many people will find all sorts of different reasons to hate me (if they want ig) because I'm ~politically homeless~ at this point because I'm sick and tired of everything but whatever

(also fuck I ran out of space in the tags so another post maybe idk. )

[eruditegeek]

I feel so disconnected all the time.

[cowboyskeletons]

and sparrow's son loves the world so much and loves everyone around him and how can sparrow tell him that the world is cruel? how can he tell him that love will be punished and that cruelty is the only way to survive? normal's love scares him, he loves his son so much but that love scares him. he would do and has done anything for his son but he knows that it has led to his own ruin. and he loves his son but too much love has only ever harmed him and maybe he can take a model from his own dad and multitask.

maybe he can love his son but he hates him too, hates that normal can love and hates that normal can be loved and hates that normal can be so oblivious to the cruelty around him in a way that he himself lost when the world ended. he wants his son to have everything but loathes that fact that normal'll never try. that he just accepts life as it is. the way his dad did, when sparrow saluted henry and went along with the world's end and turned a blind eye to his wife's infidelity.

he sees himself in normal, maybe. maybe he hates that. because he lost himself, that day he lost his father's care and his mother's respect, and he can't bear to see himself lost again. normal needs to be cruel because otherwise he will be crushed and sparrow can't do that again. can't let himself be crushed again.

[strawberrryangel]

oh my. OH my. in season 5 episode 4 of supernatural aka endverse aka sexy. when they’re about to advance on the building where sam is as lucifer. and the dean from 2014 is like saying that they’re gonna use their team as bait and the dean from our timeline is like. “you’re gonna lead our friends into a meat grinder? cas, too?” and the. and the fact. and the fact that. because. dean and cas are boyfriends. and so of course he wouldn’t lump cas into their group of friends because cas is so so much more than that. and he’s. so so so so so much more. and. they’re litrrsylly boyfhirenids.

[eff-plays]

Not exactly a dadstarion truther either (mostly bc it took me a while to actually warm up to the idea and also hes NEVER having kids with my durge, only my tav (can you imagine this man parenting a Bhaalspawn? A dhampir Bhaalspawn?? Nonono.)) But I do find something a little compelling about the thought of this man who a) has had absolutely nothing of his own for as long as he can remember and b) sees himself as worthless and irreparably fucked up creating this tiny new person? Like, they're part of him, he made this precious little creature (with the person he already loves most)? This soft and innocent thing? (Which he would waffle awfully between wanting to keep innocent for as long as possible but also making sure they know about life's horrors so they can avoid them) Like sure the baby version is annoyingly loud and can't do anything and also gross and smells but he can teach the toddler to bite people. He is the absolute worst enabler, spoils the kid rotten. Teaches them to steal and pick locks and just lets them get away with murder. Parent #2 has to do all the actual parenting part cuz damn he's not doing the discipline thing at all.

Also the vain part of him likes looking at his kid and sort of seeing some of his face in them, since he can't use an actual mirror.

Well he'd be cured by the time he has the kid or soon after in my canon, so that last part wouldn't apply for me.

And yeah, when I say that I'm not a dadstarion truther I don't mean that I don't see it happening ever, but more that to me, that first step in itself is the one that I see as least likely.

Because I can accept that he would learn to love the kid, that he would care about it and spoil it. I can also accept (and would gladly explore) him having a complicated relationship with the kid, either early on in a postpartum depression sort of way, or further down the line in a "I can't find common ground with my teen/young adult" sort of way (or both lbr).

The problem, to me, is that I don't see Astarion going "let's have a kid!" I don't see him genuinely wanting one, and I don't see him finding any reason to lie about wanting one, and I don't see Hira believing any of those lies even if he does try. It's really the initial hurdle. The rest I'm happy to make as dysfunctional and weird as it would realistically be when a guy who shouldn't be a dad becomes a dad. One of the reasons I came up with Critter is because I find it compelling how much Astarion is not a dad guy, and how that would fuck up a person like Critter. That's juicy stuff. And also a way for me to work out my own daddy issues I guess lmao.

But getting that started? Actually inventing a reason for how Astarion would even agree to it? That's where I struggle. And that's why I'm torn. Cuz I do want to stay true to my own interpretation of a character, while also wanting to create a new character and put them both (and also Hira) in situations.

Like I'm happy for all the dadstarion peeps who have cool dhampir girlies running around on adventures and I'd love to join them, but I also think that if I were true to Astarion's characterization, that kid would have issues. Like maybe a lot of them.

[noecoded]

If you could have any Asmo/reader fic what would be the things you would want from it? like an ideal fic would contain what tropes or AUS or situations or whatever

uhmm anything wellwritten that characterizes asmo similar to the way i do ! i rlly like character exploration , both more serious stuff & just sillycute...anything where asmo is a little cunning and toxic and also gets railed into oblivion.anything where hes a vampire. ill write a tag essay about the specifics