#i am begging liam to be so gentle

[viiriidiian]

“i don’t think i’ve ever felt so small”

“do you have someone?” [the longest, heaviest pause known to man] “…no.”

“orym sees will and keyleth and flashes of the last 12 hours in his mind”

i am making Direct Eye Contact with liam obrien.

[dieasthedevilwp]

hello, hello, hello!!1 i come with a long, long list of questions 'cause i can!!!

if your OC's were a line in a song, what line would they be?

do you have any OC's you never plan on unleashing on us?

out of all your OC's who would get on the best? who would despise each other?

additionally, i just started watching punisher (fanfic ideas are brewing. max save me, i beg.) and now i have questions about devin because i dont know why yet but i despise billy russo. its hair, i think. its ugly. im also re-reading papergirls rn and i adore Mac. she is me. i am her.

if devin was a book, which book would she be?

if devin was a movie, which movie would she be?

if devin was a song (of the usual bands) which song would she be?

is devin like a flea that frank cant get rid of? does she kinda just show up, cling and never vanish? does he try to swat her away, but he never succeeds? and does devin meet matt? i need to start daredevil but i fear the fixation that may follow it.

if a song could describe devin and billy, which song would it be?

if a song could describe devin and frank, which song would it be?

im not sure if i asked these about agnes, yet. but she has her own very special list of questions. jb is slipped in here too, because i think she'd like junie. i think they'd get along well, or be at each others throats at all times.

if agnes was a book, which book would she be?

if agnes was a song, which song would she be? (of the usual bands, please, max)

if devin and agnes were a song, which song would they be? how similar are they to my dearly departed deadworms? can that also be applied to laser please, if laser were a song, which song would they be? i can picture them being the last bits of let down by radiohead, but im not sure.

what does agnes think of frank?

if agnes and matt's relationship was a song, which song would it be?

and tiny baby theodore, please tell me about him!!! i wanna squish his cheeks and eat him.

i had a very weird thought earlier, but would liam like bucky? would bucky be able to crack whatever tough exterior liam has? i love liam, and will defend him until i die, and so i must know.

JUNEBUG

she gets her own section because she is special and i love her very much. please dont kill junebug. i may have to turn up outside with a pitch fork and fire if you do.

and, my puppy was nearly named junebug because of her. i think you should know that. her names juno, but her nickname is juni. i think thats a very fun fact.

to the questions!!!

if juni was a line in a song, which line would it be?

what book would older!juni be? younger juni is very much happy books, but im wondering what older her would be?

as juni gets older, and as she starts to forget the voices and faces of those who died, does it eat away at her? does she feel guilty for forgetting those that she loves?

what other animals remind daryl of juni? deers remind him of her, with the softness and gentleness of them, but what other animals remind him of her? butterflies? bear cubs? worms who are trying to live in a world that does not fit them?

i think this list is getting too long, so im gonna ask one more question and shut up. then be back later to bring more questions.

whats junis opinion on zoos? does she like them or find them cruel 'cause she doesnt understand why the animals are in cages?

i think this list is too long and now i must flee!!! bye max!! ilymtwld

every time i get a notification that you've submitted an ask i start dancing and singing (this is true and not an exaggeration of course)

song lines:

(these are specifically about the characters because there are other songs that are SO them but SO them from another character's perspective if that makes sense)

• rosie: maybe "i was little, i was weak and perfectly naive / and i grew up too quick / now you won't see all that i have to lose" from eight by sleeping at last

• juni: either "will you love me like you loved me / and i'll never ask for more" from mary by big thief or "if i'm lucky enough, i will get through hard things / and they will make me gentle to the ways of the world" from lucky enough by zach bryan

• mazzy: "i am something / i have been something / i was born something / what could i be?" from abbey by mitski

• warren: literally just "he doesn't understand what big boys do" from harvey by alex g

• fraser: "i'm calling on angels now / i want them to set me free / i hope that they're real, 'cause sometimes it feels / like nobody's listening" from angels by adrianne lenker

• cori: probably "well, prove to me i'm not gonna die alone / unstitch that shit i've seen / to close up the hole that tore through my skin" from putting the dog to sleep by the antlers

• agnes: "i feel when i question, my skin starts to burn / why does my skin start to burn? / ah, capital loss / love was the law and religion was taught" from fable by gigi perez

• devin: "what a thing to admit / that when someone looks at me with real love / i don't like it very much / kinda makes me feel like i'm being crushed" from girls against god by f+tm

• ruth: really the whole song candles by daughter but especially "well, i have brittle bones, it seems / i bite my tongue and i torch my dreams / have a little voice to speak with / and a mind of thoughts and secrecy"

unreleased oc's:

actually i have a few! i've technically edited violet mora before, but i don't know if i'll ever write her. i've also come up with a yj oc now that i'm watching that. i have had the concept of a chief hopper's daughter oc in my head for a while. pretty much all of my other oc ideas everyone already knows about because i can't shut up when i get a new idea :D

oc friendships:

warren and juni would get along with just about everyone because they are just chill guys. mazzy and rosie would get along quite well, too, i think. cori would annoy mazzy and rosie would find her hilarious. devin and rosie would argue. agnes would try and get them to make up every time. cori would despise juni, i think. maybe warren too.

devin:

i think i answered the book and song questions before but if i'm wrong then i am so very sorry but! i haven't answered the movie question about her i don't think, so i would say she's quite "good time". she's got some debatable morals, a complicated relationship with her brother, and an ego ten times her physical size. "i am better than you" >:)

devin is absolutely a flea frank cannot get rid of. if you described as clingy to her face, though, she would probably hit you really hard. she is more like a fly buzzing around all the time pissing everyone off than a little duckling or puppy or anything like that.

devin does meet matt! she actually meets matt before she ever meets frank. agnes meets devin season one of daredevil, and matt meets devin in season two of daredevil. devin doesn't even really know frank yet in daredevil, but she hears about him from agnes, and that's what catches her interest. devin officially becomes frank's own person flea in season one of the punisher. and in daredevil born again, it's actually very fun because while frank and matt have a very tumultuous relationship, their daughters are dating each other :)

if a song could describe devin and billy, it would be "step on me" by the cardigans.

if a song could describe devin and frank, it would be "tourniquet" by zach bryan. or "the devil and the mockingbird" by tin tin can if you want to look into that song despite it not being on spotify

agnes:

i believe i answered these questions about agnes as songs and as a book, so i'm skipping those. so onto the devin and agnes as a song question!! they would be "fell in love with a girl" by the white stripes!!

devin and agnes are actually quite a bit different from my beloved deadworms. rosie and lydia's dilemma was about rosie being love with lydia, who thought she was in love with a boy, so it was a whole issue. and they were both in the closet at one point or another!! with agnes and devin, though, devin is already very much out and unashamed of her sexuality when agnes meets her, and agnes develops a crush on devin, and agnes' dilemma pertains to her religion. also! good news! i have no plans of killing agnes or devin yet :)

as for what agnes thinks of frank, her opinions are very much persuaded by matt at first. she's also catholic, so she obviously thinks that killing is #wrong. as she gets older, though, and actually meets frank without matt being there, she grows a little fond of him, but she's still not into his whole killing people thing.

if agnes and matt's relationship was a song, it would probably be "welcome home" by radical face.

theodore is a very weird little boy. he's raised mostly by agnes and matt, but was babysat quite often by the strange old lady in the apartment down the hall, so he likes all sorts of really old, vintage things. his favorite tv show is the smurfs, his favorite musician is buddy holly, and his favorite movie is the birds. he is like an old man, kind of, and he thinks he is one, too, apparently, because he takes it upon himself to skip school and follow angela del toro into muse's hideout without matt's knowledge or permission. bad theodore. dont' do that.

laser:

i am a fan of this ship name. it has my full support. anyway, if laser (fraser and luca for those who may not know) were a song, they would definitely be very "let down" but they're also very "a better time to meet" by adrianne lenker

liam and bucky:

this is such an interesting question!! i honestly think that liam would love bucky just as long as bucky put effort into caring for him. the thing that really tore liam to pieces was that he had no one. so anyone who cared for him, who even tried the tiniest bit to crack his walls, he would cling to like a leech.

junebug:

the fact that you even considered naming your puppy after juni warms my heart to the hottest temperature it can get without killing me. that is so sweet. give juno a good ear scratching for me.

if she were a line in a song, like i mentioned earlier in this post, she would be "will you love me like you loved me / and i'll never ask for more" from mary by big thief or "if i'm lucky enough, i will get through hard things / and they will make me gentle to the ways of the world" from lucky enough by zach bryan. these lyrics are so unbelievably junebug-coded. the lucky enough lyrics do such a wonderful job of describing the peace that juni is always desperately grasping at.

older juni is very different from little juni—you're right. i don't know if i have read a book yet that adequately matches june's fall, but she is very charlie kelmeckis in certain ways, so maybe "the perks of being a wallflower"? i also feel like there are lots of lines in "the prophet" that can be applied to juni, and its general philosophical nature. "for what is evil but good tortured by its own hunger and thirst?"

as june gets older, she does begin to forget certain people's faces, and that really does eat away at her. but at the same time, her ability to remember other people's face, like glenn's and carl's, also eats away at her. she doesn't even realize it, either, that there are other contributing factors to her anger aside from negan's heart still beating.

daryl sees june in every gentle thing. in dandelions, dragonflies, butterflies, and baby birds. deer, rabbits, lambs, and ladybugs. half t he time, when he's out in the wilderness with beth and doesn't know whether or not juni is alive, he can't even bring himself to eat anything because it all reminds him of her.

june's opinion on zoos is very decisive. she does not like animals being put in cages. sure, she likes to see the animals just like everyone else does, but she doesn't like seeing them sad. she prefers preserves.

as per usual, thank you for your fabulous questions!! you know i always appreciate them <3 ilymtwld

[igot-the-juice]

The Scarred - Chapter 6

Masterlist

Summary - Penelope Miller works at a florist shop in Gotham, barely getting by in the corrupted city. Her life is shrouded by trauma and judgement with little light to find her way with. However, when a certain painted face starts making himself known to her, things take a turn.

The night air was gentle, forgiving as she walked the path upstairs. Her tired eye grew heavier with each step as she fiddled with the bunched up fabric of her turtleneck in an effort to keep herself awake. By the time she reached her floor she was practically sleepwalking, her feet almost sliding against the floor with what little energy she had left. When she reached the door she noticed that it was ajar and she huffed, lightly pushing it open.

“Liam, how many times -“

“Ah, there she is!” Penelope stilled after having slammed the door shut. Her head slowly turned to the direction of the unknown voice, face paling at the sight before her. “Just the girl I’m lookin’ for!” The green-haired criminal stood at her counter, setting down one of her few glass jars a little too roughly for her liking.

“For a while now.” Her voice was as even as she could make it, unwilling to let him know how terrified she truly was. The man knocked over a salt shaker with a gloved finger. He watched as she stared at him with a blank expression, however he caught a light glimmer behind it and it brought a wide grin to his face.

“You are an oddball, aren’t cha?” He began taking slow steps in her direction.

“You’re one to talk.” The Joker cackled, but it was far from genuine. He stopped just a few feet in front of her.

“It’s the scars, yeah?” He motioned to his mouth with a flailing wrist, but her eye stayed locked on his.

“Why are you toying with me?” Another cackle.

“Because you’re fun!” His laughter suddenly stopped and she pressed herself further against the door, trying to make it as subtle as possible. “I like fun.” The Joker’s tone had been deeper, sending a chill down her spine. “Everyone else is so,” He paused, motioning with his hands with a gaze cast upwards as he tried to find his words. “Boring.” His blackened gaze met with hers once more and he stepped closer, forcing her to crane her neck to look up at him. “They’re all the same. Begging for their lives, strikin’ a bargain, but you,'' He poked at her shoulder. “You haven’t even bat an eye.”

“I suppose I’ve been expecting you.”

“Kept ya on your toes, hm?” He leaned closer, growing intrigued.

“You could say that.”

“After all those nights and here I am, still keeping ya on those toes.”

“The whole city is on their toes.”

“Oh, they should be. But you’ve had your little - ah - friend to lean on.” Anger flashed in her eyes and he swayed on his feet in excitement.

“There ya are!” He turned away to walk further into her apartment. “For a moment there I thought you were, like, a sociopath or somethin’!”

“Like yourself?”

“Oh, no no no no no, exactly the opposite.” The Joker turned around to face her again. He pulled out a switchblade from his trench coat and flipped it open. “But I prefer creative.” He reached her faster than she could comprehend, cold metal held against her throat with just enough pressure as to not break the skin, but enough to where if she moved it surely would. His other hand pushed her into the door, placed against the top of her rib cage to have some form of control over her breathing. But she remained still. Patient. She looked him in the eye, daring him to do something. A challenge.

Her phone ‘ding’ed and her eye snapped to where her bag sat on the floor, the painted man’s own eyes never leaving her form. When she looked back at him he held a mischievous glint in his eyes that no one would be able to miss, hummed, then he suddenly removed the blade.

“Now, uh, I’m gonna leave so you can get back to your dear friend - uh - what was his name? Oh! Right, Liam,” The name was spat out in a mocking manner. Her eye widened ever so slightly and he backed away from her towards her window. “Very busy tonight! Hope you enjoyed your little - ah - birthday party.” He laughed as he crawled out onto the fire escape, the sound echoing in her ears.

She decided to wait a few minutes to ensure he had left to bolt towards Liam’s apartment, quickly yet quietly knocking on his door with a sense of urgency. It wasn’t until that moment that everything started to catch up to her, that her entire being started to shake and tremble, growing numb with fear. The door swung open and Liam’s eyes shot wide like saucers at the sight before him.

“Christ almighty!” He immediately grabbed her and pulled her inside, walking her in to close the door. He held her firmly by her shoulders as she tried to catch her breath, her hand limply fanning her face in a poor attempt to calm herself.

“Liam, he c - he came -!”

“Penny.” Her friend tried to get her to focus.

“He - he was there, he -!”

“Penny!” She stopped babbling and looked up at him, a tear making its way down her cheek. “Who came?” Her breathing stilled for a moment.

“The Joker.” The woman immediately noticed the panic in his eyes, but he remained calm for her sake. Liam walked her over to the couch and sat her down, leaving to get a cup of water for her. She shook her head in refusal and he set it on an end table nearby. She squeezed his torso for comfort, tears streaming down her face as she continued to shake. He looked down at the carpet of the living room as she cried, hands wrapped protectively around her. When it all started to fade Liam decided to speak, voice gentle.

“‘Ow did he get inside?” He heard her take a shaky breath before giving him a muffled reply.

“My door was cracked open… I thought it was you.” He sighed.

“Penelope,” The Irishman felt her tense. “Wha’ did he do to ye?”

“He -“ She swallowed. “He put a knife to my throat.” Liam took a deep breath to compose himself while she pulled away and looked up at him. “And yet here I am.”

“I’m assumin’ tha’s not all?” Penelope sighed and laid her head back on his chest. She listened to his heartbeat to calm herself, regulating her breathing.

“I asked him why he was doing all of this.”

“And?”

“He said that I was fun. That everyone else was boring because they all say the same thing when he pays them a visit, I’m guessing.” Liam rubbed her shoulder.

“Well, now ye know yer juss really lucky.”

“Until he gets bored of me.”

“There’s too much to ye to get bored of ye, I’m afraid.” The woman lightly punched him in the gut and he chuckled.

“I’m serious, Liam.”

“So am I.” The man looked down at her with a look of adoration. “‘E’s right, ye know?” Penelope slowly sat up from his chest to look at him. “‘Bout erryone bein’ borin’. There’s so much I ‘ave yet to learn ‘bout ye, an’ I know I’ll never know errythin’ ‘cause there’s always gon’ be somethin’ new wit’ ye. Erryone else I’ve met?” Liam scoffed. “Gimme a week wit’ em’ an’ I’ll know errythin’ there is to know. There’s no secrets, no adventure, no thrill. Ey!” Penelope made a noise and he gave her a warning look to show he was being serious. “Yer unpredictable. An’ tha’s exactly wha’ ‘e thrives fer. Tha’s why ‘e said yer fun.” Liam pointed a finger at her. “If I were ye, I wouldn’t be worryin’ ‘bout ‘im sayin’ yer fun. I’d be worryin’ ‘bout why he’s worried ‘bout ye bein’ fun.” Her brow twitched in both confusion and curiosity, lips parted.

“Penny?” The woman cast her eyes from her journal towards Emma, noticing her concerned expression.

“Hm?” Penelope sucked on her lip.

“You okay?” Emma noticed her eye glance off to the side. “You seem bothered.” Holding the same expression, she replied.

“I’m fine.” Her tight lipped smile was of no consolation to her friend. The brunette gently placed a hand over Penelope’s that gripped a pencil.

“Penny.” The woman in question gave a quick sniff.

“Just thinkin’ about that customer.” Emma sighed and took a seat on the stool beside her.

“He’s not going to bother you again, hun. He got what he came for. What’s done is done. Okay?” She gave Penelope an encouraging smile, but she wouldn’t take it.

“How are you so sure? How -“ She took a breath and fidgeted in her seat. “How do you know he won’t do anything?” Emma sighed again, but it had been more solemn.

“Truthfully?” She leaned back a little and folded her hands in her lap. “I don’t. But if he tries anything, then I’ll settle for smashing a vase over that bald head of his.” Emma then stood up and headed to the back room leaving Penelope to herself. She closed her journal and began to chew on her cheek in thought, tapping her pencil against the leather cover.

The woman sat in the waiting room of an average office, heart pounding against her chest as her leg bounced. Her eye burned into the carpet, lost in thought. She heard a door creak open and peaked to see her therapist waving her inside.

“Miss Miller.” The older woman greeted as they both took their seats. “Last time I saw you we talked about your habits, correct?” She watched her patient nod her head. “Have you reflected on that at all?” She was met with silence as Penelope met her eyes.

“You never asked me to reflect.” She mumbled.

“Well, I assumed you would after I mentioned them to you.” The therapist’s tone had grown passive aggressive and it hadn’t gone unnoticed. “Perhaps I should use a more direct approach this time.” She opened the notebook on her desk and began jotting down some notes. “Can you think of any off the top of your head, then? Maybe we can branch off from that?”

You keep biting your cheek like that, you won’t have one to bite on.

“I bite my cheek.” The pen scribbled down her words.

“And what do you think is the reason?” Penelope took a long, shaky inhale and begrudgingly looked at the grey haired woman. She couldn’t explain why, but when she met her eyes she felt frustration, pain. So, as her patient, she decided to let her know.

“Ms. May, if I’m not mistaken, you’re supposed to provide resources to help me, not make me question my own behaviors and feel bad about them.” The woman moved to speak, but Penelope continued. “You’re supposed to be a shoulder for me to cry on, someone I can trust. Someone who cares for me.” Water pooled along Penelope’s water line, leaning forward in her seat. “I’m trying not to think about my problems and yet you expect me to assume that you want me to ‘reflect’ on my habits outside of therapy knowing it would make me think even more about what the hell is wrong with me?” She watched as her therapist continued writing down notes and a wave of rage hit her. “Stop writing and listen to me!” Penelope cried out, tears finally falling.

Everything in the room stilled as the atmosphere thickened, and once Penelope was sure she had her attention she continued.

“I dread these sessions because I know you don’t care. Because I know I won’t get anything out of it. I’m just here to answer your questions so you can write your notes. But please. Give me something. Help me.” They held eye contact for a few moments and Penelope could see the hesitation in Ms. May’s eyes. Then she sighed.

“I can prescribe you medication. That’s the quickest way.” Penelope let out a breathless laugh in disbelief, looking away in disappointment. She quickly wiped off her cheek and stood up.

“I’ll schedule another appointment when I’m ready.”

[daddyissuesingreen]

Birthday (Liam Dunbar x Fem! Reader)

Gif Creds: @abominable-snowman-stilinski

Genre: Smut

Warnings: 18+, Smut, Swear words, I think that is it.

Request: @theshyprincess “Can I have a Liam Dunbar smut with a biracial reader first time for her 18 birthday 🎂”

Word Count: 1,352

Summary: Go Shawty, it’s your birthday😉

A/N: I don’t know how much I like this one. Also, I did not include the bi-racial part as I could not really find an appropriate place to mention it, but I hope you still enjoy it! 

“I heard you're feeling nothing's going right

Why don't you let me stop by?

The clock is ticking, running out of time

So we should party all night”

Every year my birthday has been a disaster and this year has been no different. 

Between fighting supernatural creatures to me figuring out I am in love with my best friend, Liam, today could not be more stressful.

At school it seems as though nobody remembers it is my birthday and I don’t know if it should bother me or not. Having low expectations means I have little chance of being disappointed, but what am I supposed to feel when even my low expectations aren’t met?

As if on cue Liam yells at me from down the hall, “Happy Birthday, Y/N!” I of course laugh. 

“Thank you, Liam!” I shouted back while walking to him.

“So any big plans tonight, Birthday Girl?” he places his arm around my shoulder.

“Should I even try to make plans? Any regular plans I make get interrupted by something supernatural.” I laugh and move his arm off my shoulder, hoping he won’t think anything of it.

“It is the day of your birthday, which also, conveniently, happens to be a Friday and you haven’t even planned a party?” he looks at me baffled, “That just means I will have to do it and quickly, we are gonna party all night.” Liam smiles at me.

“Ugh. Whatever you say, but leave me out of the planning, I am already stressed as it is.” I chuckle and walk to my class.

“So cover your eyes, I have a surprise

I hope you got a healthy appetite

If you wanna dance, if you want it all

You know that I'm the girl that you should call” 

Liam insisted on being the one to drive me to the party so I could not run away. I laugh at the thought of him going to all of this trouble just for my birthday, it is sweet, but to others might seem to be a bit much coming from their best friend. 

We arrive at the location and as I am opening my door, Liam stops me. 

“Wait. Hold on! Put this on.” He chuckles and hands me a blind fold.

“What? Why?” I nervously laugh.

“Just do it,” he looks at me, “please!” Liam pleads with me.

“Alright. I guess. Just don’t let me fall while getting out of the car.” I hesitantly put the blindfold on. 

We walk into the building and when he takes the blind fold off of me everybody shouts, “Happy 18th Birthday, Y/N!” I smile largely.

“Thank you!” I shout and hug Liam’s side. “DId you get any food?” I wiggle my eyebrows and he laughs.

“I hope you are hungry because I got a ton of food, but first, we dance!” He takes my hand and we walk out onto the dance floor with everyone.

“Boy, when you're with me, I'll give you a taste

Make it like your birthday every day

I know you like it sweet, so you can have your cake

Give you something good to celebrate”

As we are dancing, I am watching Liam and I am mesmerized.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?” He asks me.

“Nothing!” I laugh nervously. I continue dancing and the way he moves turns me on.

As if he can read my mind, Liam looks at me with a smirk and grabs my hips and places my butt on his crotch and sways us to the music. “I can smell your arousal, Y/N.” He whispers huskily into my ear.

“Well then,” I feel his member hardening, “are you going to do anything about it?” I turn and face him.

“I will eventually,” he says as he notices people walking up to us with the cake, “but I am gonna guess it is time for the cake.” He chuckles and slaps my ass.

“So make a wish

I'll make it like your birthday every day

I'll be your gift

Give you something good to celebrate”

“Make a wish.” Liam whispers into my ear.

I smirk back at him and then blow out my candles. Everybody cheers and I excused myself from the group, Liam is quick to follow my cue.

“So where’s my gift?” I pull him to me by the hem of his shirt.

“‘I am your gift.” He says and then kisses me roughly.

“Let's find somewhere private to do this.” I say, taking him by the hand and leading him to a dark room. 

Once we walked in the room, he quickly kissed me.

“God, do you know how long I have waited for this?” He whispers.

“Tell me about it, Stud.” I say as sexily as I can, earning a laugh from him.

Liam then pushes me against a wall and lifts my legs around his waist, he grinds against my crotch.

“Liam, enough fooling around and lets just do this.” I practically beg.

“Wait, isn’t this your first time?” He asks.

“So? Just be gentle. I’ll be okay. I trust you, Li.” I look at him with soft eyes and his eyes immediately darken.

Liam sets me down and we take turns stripping each other. I took his shirt off, then he took my pants off. I took his pants off and he took my shirt off. We continued this until we were both naked.

Liam placed his hand in between my legs and ran a finger in between my folds. “You’re so wet, Y/N,” the boy smirks and I giggle nervously,” since it is your birthday, let me treat you a bit.”

Liam got down on his knees and pulled my legs apart and maneuvered himself under me and in between my legs. He started to lap up my wetness.

He circled his tongue around my sensitive spot, “Liam.” I moan softly.

I feel the boy smirk between my legs as he inserts a finger inside of me, earning a gasp from me.

Liam started pushing his finger at a slow pace, but as soon as he realized I was comfortable he added another and went quicker, not once removing his tongue from my clit.

“Oh, fuck, Liam. I am gonna cum.” I moan loudly.

He pulled away from me and looked up at me, “Let go, darling.” He smirked and returned to his previous position. After a few more pumps, I was a goner and he licked up my release.

“Liam, I need you, now.” I say as i pull him up.

“Then it is me you shall have.” He lifted me onto his waist and inserted his digit inside of me, giving me only a few seconds to adjust before pumping in and out of me at a steady pace.

I grip onto Liam’s shoulders and slightly dig my nails into his skin, he moans which only makes me more turned on.

After a few good pumps, Liam finds my spot.

“Fuck!” I moan loudly and smile at him.

The sound of our skin slapping filled the room, I almost felt bad for any supernaturals who might be listening, but this was my night,

“Y/N, I am gonna cum.” Liam said. 

“Me too,” I moaned at him, “Let me go first.” I smirked.

Liam pushed in and out of me as fast as he could, trying to hold himself together, letting me cum first. I groan as I cum for the second time.

I hop down from Liam’s waist, earning a whine from him.

“Shh, baby.” I smirk and get on my knees.

I grab his member and put it in my mouth. I pump his cock with my mouth as much as I can and use my hand for what I cannot. It was not long before Liam cums into my mouth, I swallow every bit and wipe my mouth seductively.

Liam pulls me up from the ground and wraps his arms around my waist, “Happy Birthday, Y/N.” 

Smiling, I look at him and all I can mutter out is, “Round two at my place?”

[bbrandy2002]

Fools Rush In

Part 6

I’m participating in @wackydrabbles​ prompt 55: This is without a doubt the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course, I’m in.

Book: The Royal Romance

Pairing: Liam x Riley

A/N: Thank you to my amazing bestie @burnsoslow who beta read at 2 am last night. And my prereaders @charlotteg234 and @mom2000aggie

Series Premise: With two weeks until Liam is to marry Madeleine, the guys throw him a bachelor party in Vegas. After a drunk night, he finds himself with way more than he bargained.

**MC did not exist in Liam’s social season. OC lives in Las Vegas.

Word Count: 1740

TW: Drug usage mentioned

Permanent Tags: @burnsoslow @dcbbw @ao719​ @hopefulmoonobject @texaskitten30 @drakesensworld @janezillow  @merridithsmiscellany-blog @mskaneko @loveellamae @queenjilian @sirbeepsalot @pedudley @caroldxnvxrs @jovialyouthmusic @forthebrokenheartedthings @desireepow-1986 @bebepac @kingliam2019 @lovablegranny @cordoniaqueensworld @amandablink @blueaster-blog1 @liamxs-world @choiceskatie @iaminlovewithtrr @hopelessromanticmonie @charlotteg234 @twinkleallnight @annekebbphotography @txemrn @thecordoniandiaries @alyssalauren @cordonianroyalty

Series: @princessleac1 @cordonia-continued @sanchita012 @shz256 @cordonia-gothqueen @narrytheworld @graceful-leah @mom2000aggie @queenwalton @tinkie1973 @muchkoolermk @captain-kingliamsqueen @gabesmommie1130 @cordonianprincess @cinnamonspongecake @loudbluebirdlover @liamandneca @waywardromancefantasygirl @thegreentwin​ @walker7519 

The limo pulled out of the Taco Bell parking lot onto Tropicana Avenue, headed west towards Spring Valley. In the back was one king, a former prince, and a teacher-turned-overnight-queen of a country she'd never heard of 24 hours ago. 

While the trio cruised down the bustling thoroughfare to retrieve some of Riley's belongings, Liam was on the phone with his credit card company. He was trying to figure out why his unlimited card was declined, leaving Riley to foot the bill for Leo's Nacho's Grande Box, a Triplelupa Box with extra lupa, and a Pineapple Freeze. 

Leo gulped as he scooped melted cheese and beef up with a tortilla, trying not to look too guilty. He didn't want his younger brother to know that he and Drake paid for the entire bachelor trip using Liam's card ... among other unusual expenses. However, he breathed a sigh of relief, knowing Drake had it last, and the blame could fall squarely on his shoulders.

Frustrated, Liam hung up the phone after the automated agent couldn't understand his Cordonian accent and continued to reroute his call back to the beginning. No sooner did he put his phone away than he was alerted to an incoming call. Liam glanced down to see his stepmother's name flashing boldly with each ring. There were no doubts in his mind what she wanted. Obviously, the news had reached her at the Palace.

With an anxious feeling growing in his stomach, Liam let out a heavy groan before tapping the screen. 

"Hello, Regina."

"Hello, dear." Her greeting was surprisingly warm and pleasant. "I need to know the truth; are these rumors accurate? Did your brother marry you to some strange woman?"

Liam rubbed a hand nervously across his mouth; he was in no mood for a lecture. "He did. But I don't even remember it happening."

He could hear her disappointed sigh and felt terrible that his actions caused her this much distress. Regina might not be his mother, but she had been an integral part of his life since childhood, and he didn't want to let her down.

"Is your brother with you? If so, I would appreciate speaking with him."

Liam shot a look at Leo, whose hands were covered in melty cheese and sour cream. "Uh, yeah, hang on. Let me put you on speaker." He hit the button and whispered loudly to his brother that it was Regina for him.

A broad grin appeared on Leo's face as he swallowed the last bite of food. "What's up, Mommio?"

"Leonardo Wolfschitz Rys!" Her once-gentle tone was now brittle. "I am highly disappointed in you."

His eyes widened in confusion, the grin he had on before fading instantly. "What? Why? It was Liam's idea."

"Perhaps, but did you try to stop him?"

"No. He's 27 years old," he squealed.

"Be that as it may, you're the older brother. You're supposed to know better."

Liam snorted. "That's true, Leo. You really should start setting a better example for me."

Leo narrowed his eyes, reached across Riley, who jerked back, and punched Liam in the groin, causing him to yelp. "You're such a tattletale; you got me in trouble! She was all I had left."

Liam rolled his eyes then reassured his stepmother he would meet with her when the plane landed back in Cordonia in the morning.

Staying quiet, Riley's wide-eyed stare remained fixed to the front of the limo, hands crossed in her lap. This ... this is my new family.

They made their way to Riley's townhome located within a tree-lined community scattered with homes similar to hers. 

While Riley took the shower she’d been desperate to get since waking that morning, Liam made himself at home just as she asked him to. Leo had met Old Man Burt -- Riley's elderly neighbor -- as they walked up the driveway. He begged the man to let him whittle sticks with him. The senior man thoughtfully looked at him before spitting out chewing tobacco and instructing Leo to score him a dime bag, and it would be a deal.

Leo didn’t know the man from a hole in the wall, but replied, “You know what, Burt? This is without a doubt the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course, I’m in.”

Leo knew just the place and took off.

The neighborhood was quiet and serene; as Liam drummed his fingers on the leather sofa's armrest, he could almost envision a life of simplicity like this. He closed his eyes to take in all the sounds and scents not entirely unfamiliar to him but things he imagined most people took for granted:birds chirping in the windowsill, the occasional car that passed by, the screech of bicycle brakes, apple cinnamon air fresheners, and another scent he hadn't smelled in years. Craning his neck around to look out the window, he saw Leo smoking pot with the white-haired man dressed in denim overalls in the front yard. "What the hell? Dumbass."

Riley's shower took longer than he expected; feeling antsy, he rose from the sofa and walked through the home, trying to get a sense of who she was. The house was well maintained with brightly colored artwork on the walls, a nicely stocked bookshelf, shiny hardwood floors, and metal-framed photographs of different sizes assembled atop the fireplace mantle. 

Liam's eyes danced from photo to photo, studying Riley's images in a graduation gown posing with a small grinning brunette about Riley's age, her with two older gentlemen hugging in front of a Christmas tree, and a classroom of smiling kids holding up colorful drawings. 

There was one frame that laid face down.

Thinking perhaps it fell over, he gently lifted the frame to put it back in place. His brows lifted in shock.

"She's married?" 

"I was," Riley answered.

Liam whipped around with the photograph still gripped in hand, not sure what else to say. It wasn't like it was some deep, dark secret hidden from him, something that should upset him. She more than likely would have mentioned it to him at some point, considering they still hadn't had time to get to know each other. But he couldn’t shake the jealousy he felt.

"I'm sorry. I was just looking at your pictures and thought this one had been knocked over." He carefully placed it back on the mantle as Riley approached him.

Liam watched the hurt etch across her delicate features, and eyes that reflected a shattering pain as she stood face to face with her image in a flowy white gown wrapped in the arms of a man she admitted to being married to at one time.

"I … met him in my senior year of high school. We dated all through college. Had this big elaborate dream wedding after graduation. He was my best friend, my lover -- I thought he would be it forever ..." 

Liam gripped her shoulder when she paused to catch a breath, noticing the slight break in her voice. "After two years, he no longer wanted to do anything together. His excuses were always the same: working late, too tired, ‘just want to hang out with the guys tonight.’ He stopped talking to me. Quit looking at me. Stopped touching me. I think I knew in my heart what was going on, but didn't want to believe it. Then one day … I came home from work, and his closet was empty." She let out a humorless laugh. "But at least he left a strongly-worded letter detailing all my faults and where I failed him. It said he found someone better and that I didn't make him happy. He just ... didn't want me anymore." Those last words came out in whimper.

"Riley." Liam wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against him. "Sweetheart, that wasn't your fault."

Riley stepped back and swiped the tears from her cheeks. "That's why I'm doing this, Liam."

"What d’ya mean?."

"When I met Madeleine, I just knew I couldn't let you marry someone who would make you miserable too. You deserve to find someone who will make you happy."

He smiled at her. "What if that's you, Riley?"

She stood motionless for a moment, thinking about that question, then shook her head and muttered, "I don't make people happy, Liam. In the end ... they always leave me."

When Riley turned to walk away, Liam caught her wrist and drew her back. His hands flew to both sides of her face, cupping along her jaw. Their eyes studied each other; those compassionate blues cast a spell on her teary browns, engulfing the warm air surrounding both of them in want and desire. 

"I can't do this," she rasped weakly and lowered her face away from him.

Liam tilted her chin, his voice desperate and pleading. "Look at me, Riley. You can. You can. You just have to let me in."

Without a second more of hesitation, their lips collided into each other passionately.

--------------------------

Drake scowled at the envelope in his hand that bore his name in large letters. "What do you mean, I've been served? I ain't been served shit."

The smaller man prepared to explain, but the intimidating glare in Drake's eyes made him choose his words more carefully. "Mr. Walker. Sir. I'm just the messenger --"

"Then, you can take your message and ..." Drake shoved the envelope toward the man. "This fucking envelope back to where you came from. I don't have a kid or owe anyone child support."

The man backed away and looked at Maxwell to gauge whether he would protect him from his rather large, angry friend. He figured out real quickly the lanky one holding two full bags of medications most definitely wouldn't. He swallowed past the fear that collected in his throat. "Everything you need to know is in the envelope." He nodded to them, both. "Have a good day."

Drake slammed the door open and tossed the room key and his wallet on the kitchen counter. He ripped the envelope open and scanned the documents with Maxwell looking over his shoulder. "I'm being sued for $120,000 in back child support by a woman named ... Boom Boom Powell."

A picture slid from the documents and landed at Maxwell's feet. He bent down to pick it up and rose slowly when he caught a glimpse. "Uh, Drake. This must be a picture of the kids." He held the photograph up of what appeared to be three-year-old identical triplets. "Who do these kids look like?" He knew the answer before he asked.

Drake squinted to get a better look; then realization hit him. He had never been to Las Vegas, but he knew someone who had many times before. And judging by the blonde hair, blue eyes, and mischievous smirks on the three little boys in the picture, he knew his assumption was correct. He tightened his jaw. "That fucker! He is dead."

[odetocarrick]

Torn. (Drake Walker x MC.) Chapter One.

Book(s): The Royal Romance. The Royal Heir. Pairing(s): Drake Walker x MC, Sydney Roberts. Drake Walker x Olivia Nevrakis. Liam Rys x MC, Sydney Roberts. Warnings: None for this chapter.  Chapter Summary: A few months after Sydney's arrival to Cordonia, Drake realises just how much things have changed because of her.

A/N: I do apologise for the delay, I haven’t forgotten about this, I’ve just been busy with university, now that I’m finished for the year, I can keep this going! Thank you for the love shown on the teaser.  Chapters in this are intended to be short by the way.  Read the teaser here!

Tags: @marshmallowsandfire @lovingchoices14

- - -

Maxwell's decision to sponsor the bartender from New York who was unlucky enough to serve the bachelors party almost a year ago now wasn't the craziest idea he'd had. However, it had to have been the craziest idea that had worked in his favour. To say that Drake was surprised at how quickly Sydney had settled in and made a home out of the Kingdom was an understatement and he had no problem in admitting that. What he did have a problem with admitting though, was the fact he was disappointed at how much everything, including Sydney herself had changed. His uncertainty regarding Maxwell's rash decision had been crystal clear ever since Sydney had joined them on the flight back home but deep down he was glad to have someone.. normal, in his crew.

Sydney used to be normal. Now she's just like the others and Drake is left as the outcast once again.

Drake shook his head and took a sip of his drink to prevent himself from falling down a rabbit hole of negative thoughts, he already stuck out like a sore thumb at these stupid social events anyways and he didn't want to give anyone a reason to pay him more attention than they had to. He didn’t understand why he kept being dragged along to them but he wasn’t going to turn down the opportunity to drink for free. Plus, getting on Olivia’s nerves was always quite fun.

Sadly, the redhead hadn’t been around much to bother tonight so Drake was forced to watch Sydney dance, laugh and smile with Liam, it was borderline torture and he wondered if Olivia had done this purposely to get to him. He didn’t know if she was aware of his feelings for Sydney but he didn’t care much. Of course he was happy for the two, Liam had been his best and only true friend forever and after all the shit he'd been forced to endure through his life, the future king definitely deserved happiness. The social season wasn't quite over yet but it was obvious who Liam was going to choose as his bride, it was so obvious that even Olivia had given up on trying to win her childhood sweetheart back over. Sydney deserved to be happy too, not much was known about her life back in America but it was clear that she hadn't had the greatest or easiest of times. If she was happy and in love with Liam then he wasn't going to do anything to jeopardise that.  No, he couldn't be the villain, he couldn't be selfish and snatch the beautiful blonde away for himself, no matter how much his heart begged him to confess his feelings to her, the voice in his head reminding him just how scandalous doing such a thing would be, just kept getting louder and louder. So he was forced to suffer in silence.

Maybe he wasn't actually in love with Sydney anyways, maybe he just liked how she treated him decently and didn't look down on him for his average background. He hadn’t even known the woman that long or spent much time with her since she spent so much time with Liam or Hana or Maxwell. 

Of course, that’s excluding the night they slept together but Drake had done his best to forget just how magical that moment had been. 

Pfft, being in love.

Drake's mind couldn’t familiarize with that merry feeling. As if it lingered inside of him, begging to be released, begging to be free.I was swarmed with numerous auras; presences of others. Yet why do I feel so empty? So… alone. As if the world is continuing on without me; the embodiment, living presence of others devouring my soul day by day. Choking internally, beseeching for truth.

"I’m losing myself here." He thinks, finally tearing his eyes away from the happy couple as their dance comes to an end. Sydney goes to join Hana whilst Liam is forced to dance with another noble lady.

"Am I merely distancing myself from others, which disconnects me from the thread of the social world?" Drake's thoughts get louder and louder as he ignores Maxwell, this behaviour is nothing new so the youngest Beaumont doesn't pick up on anything strange. Drake's responses to things aren’t considered normal by the rest of the court, his reactions are seen as odd. His mind works differently – he views aspects that no one else sees. He can understand the earth; from ways of the solar system to the inevitable meaning of life and death itself. It pulls him into something he will never understand. All within a blink of an eye, such knowledge lying natural and effortless. And to Drake, thinking that he's special would be incredibly foolish.

He may be different… but he's also alone.

"Drake?"

The brunette snaps out of his pity party just long enough to register that the woman of the hour herself, Sydney Roberts, has slipped into the spare seat at his and Maxwell's table.

"Are you okay? You look lost, even more so than usual." She speaks softly, letting out a gentle laugh towards the end of her question and Drake feels his heart skip a beat. God damn, why did she have to be so loveable, so caring and so compassionate? It made him sick. "Drake?" He realises he still hasn't answered her question so he clears his throat and somehow manages to make and not break eye contact.

"I'm.." He begins, swallowing a small lump in his throat. "I'm fine Roberts. Thanks for asking though." He manages to flash a somewhat convincing smile and Sydney smiles back, he doesn't fully register the fact that her smile didn't fully reach her eyes. "I'm just going to get some fresh air.. I don't belong here." He adds on and before she can question what he means, he's doing what he does best.. ignoring her calls and leaving the room.

[devildomfairy]

Love Grows

Ta-da! Here is my Liam x Diavolo fic! Liam is one of my Obey Me! MCs. I enjoyed writing this and there is a little angst, but it goes to fluff quickly. Cheesy title is cheesy title okay?

Warnings: Death mention (just slightly)

Word Count: 1,675

Diavolo stood outside in the bright sun and took a deep breath. He closed his eyes feeling the sun’s warmth on him. Feeling the sun’s warmth in the human realm was refreshing from the dark skies of Devildom. He would never get tired of the warm feeling. 

“Ah, Barbatos, that sun feels amazing doesn’t it?”

“It sure does My Lord,” Barbatos replied as they arrived in the human realm. “I will be picking up some ingredients here to take back later. I’ll come by later at Liam’s house, My Lord.”

Diavolo felt his heart race hearing Liam’s name. He quickly regained his composure. “Sounds good to me Barbatos. See you later then!”

Diavolo saw his butler off as he used a teleportation spell to quickly get to Liam’s house.

*

Liam fastened his overalls and was about to grab his gardening gloves when he heard a knock.

“Coming!”

Opening the door revealed Diavolo.

“Dia? What are you doing here?” he asked.

Diavolo felt joy hearing the nickname. It certainly beats hearing Lord all the time.

“I came here with Barbatos so he could pick up some human world ingredients. I thought I’d come and see you while he’s shopping, that is if you don’t mind” 

Liam shook his head and his eyes crinkled. “I don’t mind at all. Come on in Dia.” He let Diavolo into his house.

Liam lived away from the hustle and bustle of the nearby city. His home was a small isolated area with few neighbors. Diavolo adored his small house. It was warm and inviting. Much like Liam. 

“Liam, I heard about your garden from the brothers, may I see it?” he asked.

“Of course! I was going to go out there anyway” Liam responded cheerfully and grabbed his gardening gloves and lead Diavolo the way out of the back door.

The Prince was stunned. Liam’s garden was breathtaking. A rainbow of colors was in front of him. He spotted a wooden gazebo, several trellises, and what appeared to be a small building, perhaps a storage building?.

“Liam, your garden is lovely. I can tell you put so much work into it. I’m impressed” His expression softened as he took in the sight. This garden was large and figured there were other things in it. 

“Thank you Dia” Liam’s cheeks reddened at the praise. “My garden I guess you could say is part of me. I love it. It helps me feel at peace when I don’t feel well.”

The Prince detected a hint of sadness in the human’s voice. He decided not to press the subject, but to him, it felt like his dear friend was hiding something.

“Come on in Dia” Liam stepped foot in the garden and waited.

Diavolo was still astounded at how beautiful the garden was. It took his breath away.

“Feel free to look around. I need to trim these shrubs over here real quick” Liam slid his gloves on and pulled a pair of shears from his pocket.

Diavolo took the time to look at the display of flowers. He noted small statues as well. They added an adorable touch he thought. Something then caught his eye.

It was a small area that had a stone bench and multiple white rose bushes around it. He took note of a small wind chime there as well. What really got his attention was a plaque. Taking a closer look, he noticed writing and a photo in the center. A man, and a woman holding a baby. The couple was smiling happily at the camera. Diavolo read the wording on the plaque.

IN LOVING MEMORY. MOM AND DAD

“Diavolo?” 

Hearing Liam’s voice startled him. “I’m sorry! Am I intruding where I shouldn’t be?” He asked stepping away.

Liam shook his head. “You’re good. I guess I haven’t told you have I?”

“About what?”

The human sighed. “When I was four years old, my parents were killed in a car accident. I wasn’t with them, I was at my aunt’s house. My mom’s sister. I didn’t understand what had happened until I realized that they were never coming back. My four-year-old self cried and cried. Why did this happen to me? I was angry and I was sad. The funeral was even worse. I remember begging for my mom and dad to come back. Then one of my Uncles picked me up and took me away when they were put to rest. I ended up staying with my Mom’s sister. She raised me her and her husband. I was raised with their kids. My cousins.” Liam had a downcast look on his face.

Diavolo without warning took him into his arms. “You don’t have to continue. I can’t imagine how hard that was.” Liam’s face burned as he felt himself wrapped by the demon.  A tear slid down his cheek as he relaxed and let himself be held. 

“Thank you, Dia. I had good times as well after that. Even though my parents are gone, I know they are watching over me. My aunt is amazing and so was my uncle as well. Can’t forget him.” He huffed. 

“I’m glad. Sounds like they are wonderful people. You were very fortunate to have them” Diavolo spoke in a soft tone.

Diavolo’s heart ached. How he wanted to tell him how he felt. He knew it would be inappropriate now, so he settled for having Liam in his embrace. If today wasn’t the day, he would wait until the right moment. As of now, the young man in his arms was most important.

Soon, they separated. Liam decided to show Diavolo the rest of his garden. Hearing how passionate the human was about gardening, plants, and flowers delighted him. Along the way,  he learned something new. Liam was into candle-making, soap making, cooking, baking, and many others. Diavolo’s affections only grew stronger. Liam was amazing. Not just amazing, but strong and kind, even though he lost his parents at a young age, he was a positive, and gentle person. It was no surprise the demon brothers fell for him. Now, Diavolo, the future king of Devildom had fallen for him.

*

Barbatos had returned and was shown the garden as well. The butler was impressed. He praised Liam’s work and dedication. 

“Thank you Barbatos. It means a lot.” Liam thanked him. All three chatted a while until they were interrupted by the sound of Liam’s stomach growling.

Embarrassment flooded his body. His stomach just had to do that in front of them.

Diavolo only chuckled. “Don’t worry about it. It’s happened to me too.” He patted Liam’s shoulder. He then turned to Barbatos. “Barbatos, would you mind fixing some tea and some small snacks?”

“Anything in particular My Lord?”

“Any kind of tea will work. Perhaps something sweet to go with it? Whatever you can come up with.”

“Understood My Lord. I’ll get to it.” Barbatos bowed and left to use Liam’s kitchen in his house leaving the two alone again.

Diavolo faced Liam. His cheeks began to warm. “Liam, can I tell you something? It’s important.” His expression was serious but soft.

Liam nodded and gulped. He hoped it wasn’t too serious or was bad.

“Liam, I am going to tell you this. Not as the Prince of Devildom, but as me, Diavolo. Every time I see you, my heart flutters. When I see you smile, it makes me smile. Your smile is so precious. Just picturing your smile in my head when I’m having a rough day makes the day better. Being able to see you, even for a small amount of time, I cherish it. I never thought in my long life, a human would capture my heart like this. You did though. I know you are special to the brothers. I began to understand what made them fall for you. Your kindness, your smile, and just for being you. Liam, I have fallen for you.”

Time seemed to have stopped. Was this a dream? Was this real? Liam couldn’t believe it. Diavolo was in love with him. His heart began to throb. His green eyes met Diavolo’s gold ones. 

“Are you-are you serious?”

“Of course I am,” Diavolo answered.

Liam then knew he was being serious. He looked at him once again and nervously cupped the Prince’s face.

“Diavolo...I feel the same.” He managed a small smile. “I love how passionate you are about uniting the three realms. I love your laughter and smile. Not just that, it’s how kind you are. You’re kind and generous to the smallest demon. I just-adore you so much, I can’t find words. You captured my heart as well.” 

Diavolo felt tears prick his eyes. If this was a dream, he didn’t want to wake up. When tears slid, he knew it was real.

“Forgive me. I’m just so happy.” 

Liam shook his head and wiped the tears away. “I’m happy too.”

A yelp escaped from his lips as he was lifted and held by a laughing Diavolo. Liam found himself smiling and laughing and pressed their foreheads together.

“May I kiss you, Liam?” Diavolo asked. His face tinted.

“Yes, you can. You don’t need to ask” Liam pressed a kiss to the demon’s forehead. He was greeted by a soft kiss to his lips.

Liam kissed back. It was a soft, sweet kiss. The kisses turned playful as Diavolo placed them all over Liam’s face and he began to giggle.

“I love you Liam” Diavolo pressed another kiss on his lips.

“I love you too Dia.”

Diavolo set Liam down then wrapped his arms around him from behind. His arms resting on the human’s waist.

The sun was setting. Setting on a wonderful day. The two shared a peaceful silence simply watching the sunset. 

Barbatos was carrying a tray of tea and cookies when he saw them. A smile rose on his lips.

My Lord Diavolo, I’m glad your feelings were reciprocated.  He said to himself as he too stopped to watch the sunset. 

I wish you two happiness. 

[louloubabys1992]

Five Favs of 2020

I was tagged by the amazingly talented @mercurial-madhouse​ to do this and I thank you for it as its been a while since I’ve looked at my fics or any of my work really....so here goes :D

RULES: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome work.

1-Hang there like fruit, my soul/Till the tree die

Fic summary;

''You still want me?'' he asks, voice thick. ''Yes,'' Harry's answer is absolute, almost defiant. ''But my hands are empty,'' Louis shakes his head. ''I've got nothing to offer you.'' ''I don't care about that. Do you see my hands?'' Harry asks before he cups Louis' face. His touch is gentle. He's always gentle when it comes to Louis. ''When I'm not holding you, I feel empty, but like this,'' he presses closer until their faces are inches apart. He caresses the apple of Louis' cheeks and that's when Louis realizes that he's spilled tears and Harry's wiping them. He didn't even notice; too busy looking into Harry's kind, kind, kind alpha eyes. ''I feel like I'm holding the world and I don't feel empty anymore,''

Louis knows he's a defective omega. He knows its also not his fault but it is what it is. He takes the world head on even when the world is unkind to him. Not Harry though; stubborn as he is, he doesn't back down, not when it comes to Louis

Note;

Those who read this fic know that this is my first ever abo fic. I wrote this in a time when I thought the world was ending. I had been on lockdown like the rest of us with not much to do and yet all the time in the world to finally do what I’m truly passionate about, which is writing. I don’t know if anyone noticed this but the difference between this fic and my latest one was six months (aside from a 16 chapter fic which I was writing almost simultaneously with ‘’Hang there’’ so for it to get any kudos or comments at all is quite unbelievable to me and I am really proud of the journey it took me on. It was one bumpy but amazing ride.

2-As the snow flies

Fic Summary:

’'I can’t sleep without you anymore. Got used to you.’’ Harry is always like that, so transparent with his feelings, so abundant with his love. He cuddles Niall the most, always stares up at Zayn like he’s something cool and out of this world, always attentively serious with Liam and always helping Leona out in the kitchen. He’s not so different from the shy, timid boy he’d first met, still stands pigeon toed when he’s waiting for Louis and the lads to go home after school, still stands with his shoulders all hunched but then he sees Louis and suddenly he’s taller, brighter, smile and dimples on full display.

He’s so beautiful.

-Or the fic in which Louis and Harry are foster kids who get separated long before they could even understand what loving each other means. They were so young and since then, circumstances had made Louis tough, had forced him to harden up. What happens when he and Harry meet again?

Notes:

Probably the easiest fic I’ve ever written because the idea had been swirling in my head for years, I just never had the time to sit down and put pen on paper (or letters on a word document hahah). It’s not for the faint of heart, I know, but I’ve always wanted to write it and flush it out of my system and when I did finally start writing it, it wasn’t as hard as writing my other fics. Like, I knew how it would end, I knew what scenes I had to cut out, what fit, what did not fit and I have to say, even though the outcome is not the way I had imagined it at first but it is everything it was meant to be in the end :D

3-The Boy with the Tin Chest and a Glass Heart

Written for the @bottomlouisficfest​

Fic summary:

Alpha Harry Styles, world-renowned author of fairy-tales, is being persuaded by the Beta, Liam Payne to hire a new illustrator. Since Harry’s own illustrations are too graphic for what is supposed to be children’s stories, Liam feels the need is dire. Omega Louis does not agree with Liam since he believes that Harry’s stories are fine just the way they are. Of course this has nothing to do with Louis being totally biased or totally head over heels for Harry. It certainly has nothing to do with being jealous of the mysterious omega illustrator Liam has in mind to team Harry up with. Seriously, it has nothing to do with that at all. Nothing, absolutely nothing, zilch, nada. Yeah...

Notes;

During my time of self isolation while the world tore itself apart, I busied myself with writing and watching k-drama series to distract from being anxious and swept by it all. It did wonders for me, occupying my time like that as I have always loved writing and this year, I found a new love for korean actors and their dramas and I have to say, their stories have such amazing plot lines. This fic is heavily inspired by one k-drama series called ‘’its okay not to be okay’’ starring Kim Soo Hyun and Seo Yea-ji (I hope I got the names spelled right). Please do watch it if you haven’t already :D

4-The Importance of being Earnest

part of the @1000feelingsfics​

fic summary;

Harry cannot help but pay extra attention to Louis' order, even if it is just a warm cup of tea with a dash of milk and no sugar. He also makes sure that the Danish Louis asks for is warm and fresh from the oven and not the one in the display, even if it means delaying Louis a bit when he fetches said Danish from the kitchen. It's all worth it when Louis smiles his crinkly smile at him before he rushes off to work.

Man, he's hot, he cannot help but think.

Or Harry is a barista who's been harboring a crush on Louis for months. Little does he know that Louis actually likes him back.

Note:

I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this before but this fic was included in a podcast which has never happened to me before and I am so so so happy and proud that my fic got that type of attention (or any attention at all hahahaha) so like, it is quite special to me and honestly, a lot of the fics written for the @1000feelingsfics​ challenge are really, truly incredible

5-Bed of Nails

fic summary;

Louis has been keeping a secret for a very long time. The boys don’t know because he doesn’t tell them, not because he doesn’t want to but because he doesn’t think they need to know or be bothered by his troubled past. When they find out, they look at Louis differently. But Harry doesn’t. No, he loves Louis and will do anything in his power for his love to find its way through the cracks.

Or the one where Louis has a troubled past that catches up to him and Harry does his best to save him from it.

Notes:

This is my longest fic ever, not just in chapter count but in time (it took me actual years to finish it, whew, what a journey). A lot of things happened while writing this fic but one event that stands out among the rest; I lost my younger brother back in 2016. He was only 23 years old. I started writing this fic in 2015 and finished it January 2020. Losing George crippled me both mentally and emotionally. I had no power, no inspiration and definitely no will to do anything but try and seem okay for the sake of my grieving parents. I bottled it all up to try and seem strong in front of them and in return, I forgot about anything else, including my passions and my hobbies. It took me a herculean effort to finish this fic and I mostly did it because writing to me, is like an itch. I can stop writing sure but every once in a while, that itch that nags at you like an incessant person knocking, begging you to just open up the door on the swirl of words blasting your brain in the middle of the night, begging you to just do something, doesn’t ever completely go away. So, I didn’t ignore it and decided to finish it, no matter how long it took. The itch to write went away after that and a sense of calm and accomplishment took over instead. I miss George till this day. Nothing will ever turn off that feeling but writing to me, in any form, whether in my journal or fics or whatever, does have the power to push me through the day. 

And there goes; my 2020 fics. I want to tag a lot of people but I think most people I know here already did it but if you see this or read this, take that as your cue to do it too. We all need some self love in this world and self love is what we deserve. 

Happy new year everybody :D

[seriouslyhooked]

Lighthouse (CS AU)

Short oneshot where Emma is the Princess and Killian is her longtime love. He’s serving his last deployment in the royal navy and she is eagerly awaiting his arrival. Available on AO3 Here and FF Here.

A/N: This is a fluffy drabble that was prompted FOREVER ago by a lovely reader. They wanted the song “Lighthouse’ by Collabro and the story to include a Lieutenant Duckling Reunion fic. It has been so long since I’ve gotten to write something like that, and I have really missed it, so here is my attempt at some cuteness for you all. Thanks for reading, and thanks so much to the awesome reader who suggested this!

Please let him be safe. Please let him come home. Please let him return to me.

The silent prayers were ones that Princess Emma had begged for more times than she could count. Over the past year, while Killian was out at sea, serving in the royal navy, Emma had been beside herself with worry. It was bad enough to be separated from the man she loved, but to know that he could be in danger all this time pained her heart in shades of sadness she’d never be able to vocalize.

If she had her way in this scenario, Emma would be down at the docks, watching the horizon for any sign of his ship in port. No, forget that idea, she’d be on the ship with him, facing whatever harrowing adventures the high seas might call for without a drop of fear. When she was with Killian, nothing could touch her. The magic they shared was a barrier against anything bad, a fortifying force that protected them both, and Emma felt steadier and at peace. But alas, her destiny was written already, and it held no space for seafaring voyages or long treks on the open ocean.

As the one-day heir of the realm, Emma was expected to put on a brave face and attend to her duties. The people looked to her and her family for leadership and guidance. They all played a part in the health of this kingdom, and her birthright was to inherit all of this someday. At some point in the not too distant future, when her mother and father were ready to step aside, it would be Emma who took the throne, but all the grandeur and the power meant nothing to her, not without Killian to share it with.

Every spare moment she thought of him, and imagined what it would be like someday, when this was all behind them. This was his last deployment under the careful watch of his elder brother Liam, and prior to his going, he’d already received her parent’s blessing to marry her, though not before asking Emma for her hand herself. She’d accepted in a heartbeat, failing to let him even finish the romantic question when she understood his intent. She was desperate to be his in every way, and remembering the smile he’d bestowed on her and the kisses that they shared when she’d agreed, it was obvious that Killian felt the same.

Almost a whole year had passed since that miraculous night, and not long after he was sent away, sailing for the edge of the known world to see what lay beyond. It terrified her to think of what danger may lurk in what was unknown, but Killian reassured her that it would all be fine. He and Liam knew what must be done. They understood the sea and their mission, and Killian swore to find his way back to her just as he had so many times before…

“I just wish that you didn’t have to go,” she’d said, unable to hide her tears in the early morning hours before his ship set sail. They’d run off together to the guest house in the garden, a special spot of theirs since they met when they were younger. For years it had been their hideaway. Killian called it their sanctuary, and Emma always thought that was an apt description.

“Believe me, love, if there were any way around this, I would see the course. You know I’d give anything to be here making you mine as soon as may be. But my brother needs me, and your father has been clear. We need these alliances for the good of the kingdom, and the safety of the people, you most importantly.”

“I know,” Emma agreed, understanding more than most how precious their alliances were with the kingdoms of all realms. This voyage, though long and arduous, would protect them for years to come, and was the last request of Killian’s brother Liam before Killian exited the navy. “You just…”

“I just what, love?” he asked, cupping the side of her cheek and watching her with those beautiful blue eyes of his that always made her dizzy. They were so focused in on her, as if the universe began and ended with what she was about to say. In a world where she was important but never felt truly seen, she’d grown addicted to such attentions. Killian truly knew her and still loved her, and she was more herself with him than with anyone she’d ever met. She leaned into his touch and closed her eyes, breathing in the scent of him and savoring the warmth and electricity that came when he was close.

“You just made me love you so much, that letting you go feels like losing part of myself.”

The murmured curse he let loose before devouring her lips made Emma shiver with delight, but she was hardly cold. His touch was like a fire, sizzling through her and marking her as his, just as much as she was marking him as hers. She didn’t know how long they stayed like that, wrapped up in each other, but it felt mere seconds later when they pulled apart. The brightness of the room and the daylight that was breaking signaled much more time had passed than seconds, but it wasn’t enough. No amount of time together ever would be.

“There’s nothing in this world or any other capable of keeping me from you, Emma. My love for you is constant. Not just for this life, but every one from here to always. Have faith in me, my love, because I promise I will be home to you as soon as I am able.”

Though the words were whispered so long ago, Emma still felt them wash against her skin as the sun began to sink over the tree line. Out here, in the back woods of the palace, she was totally alone, but if she couldn’t be with Killian, that solitude was all she could accept. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to fantasize that he was here. Autumn’s chill was back once more. The year was up, and so too should his mission be. In a perfect world she’d hear the gentle crunch of footsteps and catch the subtle scent of ocean waves. The footsteps would approach with precision and determination until the moment just before he reached her where heat flared through her system. She fended off tears at how good her imagination was becoming, and then she felt him, the undeniable press of his body on hers that was so much more vivid than any daydream ever could be. Her eyes popped open and her heart took flight.

“Emma,” he said, nuzzling into her neck as he held her tight and the sound that came from her chest was one of desperation and relief. “Gods how I’ve missed you, love.”

“You came back,” she said, spinning in his hold and seeing that this was truly real. Killian was here and alive. He was somehow even more gorgeous than when he’d left, and he was looking at her with even more affection and love than he’d had before. Tall dark and handsome did no justice to all he was. He was perfection, and he was all hers.

“With a light like yours to return to, there was no other option, love. Trust and believe in that.”

He whispered the words of affirmation as her hand came over his chest. She felt the racing of his heart, and she knew, without his admitting it all that things had been the same for her him as they had for her. She may have been here, and he may have physically been worlds away, but her heart could not reside in a space without him. Now they were together again, and she was whole, happy, and unwilling to ever let him go.

Pulling him in by the collar of his navy coat, Emma almost wept when their lips met after so long a separation. His taste was just the same, his arms, holding her close, the warmest and most soothing home she’d ever known. She was safe here and hopeful, finally believing that the worst was behind them. From here on out things would be different. She and Killian would be together, and there’d never be cause for such sad partings ever again.

“I thought for certain that the love we shared before was as big as it could be…” he murmured, running his hands through her flowing hair and smiling at her, as if he was trying to convince himself that this wasn’t all a beautiful dream they’d both soon wake up from. “How wrong I was in such a thought. This love grows deeper every day. It can’t be quantified. It just…”

“It just is,” Emma echoed, and he agreed, kissing her again and grounding her in a happiness that had been missing for twelve long months. Only when they were breathless, did they break apart, but even then his forehead rested against hers, his arms surrounding her, giving them space to breathe each other in and surrender to their feelings.

“I’ve brought you something, Emma,” he finally said, and she could see the pride in his eyes at the mention of this gift. “It’s something I hope you’ll find worthy of a woman like you.”

Emma knew she’d cherish any parcel from her sailor, but the preemptive affirmations died on her lips as he pulled out a small velvet pouch. Inside the compartment was a ring with a band of white gold, and a green blue gem unlike any she’d ever seen. In the royal vaults there were many treasures belonging to her family, but none that looked like this. It was a sapphire, but colored in such a vibrant aqua hue it didn’t look like any stone she’d seen before. Yet it wasn’t the first time she’d seen this iridescent shade. In fact, it was one that always seemed to find the two of them some way or another.

“Killian, it’s gorgeous,” she said in awe, amazed at how much it looked like the lightest flecks of color in his piercing blue gaze. She knew that in her own green eyes there were flecks of this tone too, a shared sample of their souls, indistinguishable and utterly spectacular. “But you didn’t need to bring me anything. All I need is you, you know that.”

“I do, love. Believe me, a man doesn’t forget such miracles when he’s as blessed as I am. But you are to be my wife, and after searching for some time, I finally found the ring I know was meant for you.”

With gentle ease, he took her hand in his and placed the ring on her finger. It was a perfect fit, and matched the modest white gold of the band he’d given her in promise before he left. Emma knew he’d had the choice of any ring in the castle for his proposal, but he was determined to find something special just for her. She didn’t need anything more than the wedding that would come, but when he shared the origin of this particular gem, she felt its significance.

“I found this treasure at a time of great pain. I missed you so dearly, that even the sea could offer no distraction. Twelve weeks into a twelve-month journey and I was homesick, as I’ve never been before. I walked along the beach in port and found this in a tide pool, underneath a rising moon. Liam gave most of the crew some leave for the first time in ages, but there was nothing that I wanted when I knew you were waiting for me here.

“My brother insisted I get off the boat, despite my attempt at protest, and so I wandered for a while, thinking only of you. Of your beauty and your brilliance and the future you deserve, the one I will do anything to give you. The waves in that water are notoriously unruly and sporadic. They rage along the coast and filter into tide pools unlike our shores here, but the locals claim that the sea bring treasures and tricks alike from far off places. Needless to say I didn’t care about these stories. All I cared about was you. I was thinking that maybe I should come home, even though the mission was not over, and then I found this, glistening in the water just below.”

Emma looked down at the stone and their hands intertwined. She imagined each point of his memory, feeling it so surely, it was like she had been there too. It helped in easing the pain of separation, and she settled in the fact that soon their being parted would be just a distant remembrance, never to be repeated.

“The first time I held you in my arms for a dance, you were dressed in a gown of this shade. I’ll never forget that night as long as I live.”

“Neither will I,” Emma agreed, recalling her public debut. She was a girl of sixteen and Killian was the brother of one of her father’s most trusted Captains, a whole year older than her but already in her eyes so much more mature. Now, so much time had passed, but when he smiled at her the same boyish charm was ever present, and she fell under his spell, stepping into his arms as she would to share a dance. Out there, in the setting sun he held her close, guiding her though there was no music, and she tried not to cry the joyful tears that threatened to spill as he twirled her, eliciting a laugh and making her feel lighter than air.

“Finding this felt like a sign, that even we were parted, we would always be together. I carried it every moment since, knowing someday it would end up here, with you.”

“And now it’s here, and so are you,” she whispered, stealing another kiss from him and halting their dance. He was the sweetest man alive, of that she had no doubt, but suddenly that sweetness was not what she needed. What she needed was love, the love that only they shared, made real in a stolen, private moment.

Reading her mind and her wants with precision, Killian pivoted from dancing to sweeping her up into his arms. She laughed aloud at the motion but didn’t pull back far. Instead she clung to him as he strolled through the back way. A few minutes later, when they arrived back at the garden house she was in no way surprised. She hadn’t been out here since his leaving, but it was just as she remembered, and immediately her sense of inner peace solidified. This was everything she’d wanted and more.

The kiss he pressed on her once they were shut away inside was filled with heat and desire, and soon kisses devolved into so much more, a merging of two people who had missed each other fiercely and we were intent on tying themselves together once again. It was perfect, hard-fought reunion, and Emma would cherish the memory always. But perhaps no part was as special as the glow that came between them when she was wrapped up in his arms hours later, safe and happy as the dawn of a new morning began to break. The world was not bright enough to have created such vibrancy, that was all thanks to them and their true love. As a product of two soul mates, Emma had inherited a bit of magic herself, but that magic was always the strongest in the arms of her Killian.

“Gods above, Emma, you are my light, my truth, my home,” he murmured, his words placed between the lightest kisses that sent thrills of pleasure dancing across her skin. “I’ll love you forever, I give you my word.”

“Good,” she replied, silently affirming that she felt the same with a gentle kiss before finally giving in to the tiredness of her body. And luckily for both of them, the sweet dreams that came of their reunion were nothing compared to the joy of their life together. For they had found something better than wishes – a love so real it would live forever, and a bond so sure it would always lead them home.

………………

Where ever I am Where ever I go Whatever happens, this year I know That you'll be with me to the end When the cold sets in Like you told me all those years ago You hold my hand Where ever I lay And you guide me through come what may Bring the silence through the noise I still hear your voice I remember what I heard you say I'll be your lighthouse Shining bright from dusk till dawn I'll sing a song aloud So you'll hear a voice you know You'll find that somehow Where ever you are, where ever I am Is home Whenever I feel I'm all by myself And every word is a cry for help I just think of you and then I'm safe again I feel you close though you're somewhere else I'll be your lighthouse Shining bright from dusk till dawn I'll sing a song aloud So you'll hear a voice you know You'll find that somehow Where ever you are, where ever I am Is home Do you remember What we used to say? I'll be your lighthouse Shining bright from dusk till dawn I'll sing a song aloud So you'll hear a voice you know You'll find that somehow Where ever you are, where ever I am Is home I'll be your lighthouse Shining bright from dusk till dawn I'll sing a song aloud So you'll hear a voice you know You'll find that somehow Where ever you are, where ever I am Is home Where ever you are, where ever I am Is home

Post-Note: Wow, so first and foremost, if the person who requested this even still reads my fics (because it has literally been something like 4 years since they asked for this), I hope that you enjoyed the chapter. I am so sorry for making you wait so long, but I am also so grateful for your lovely prompt. What happiness this fic created for me as I wrote it. I hope you all get to share in that too as you read the story. I’m also shocked at how close I am getting to 200 chapters of the mixtape. I can’t tell if it is something that I should put on hold, or make a volume two perhaps, but in the meantime, thanks so much to all of you for reading, for commenting, and sending me amazing songs to include. It has meant the world to have your support, and I hope you’ll continue to join me on this slow but steady journey in cute CS oneshots!

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9,Part 10,Part 11, Part 12,Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24,Part 25, Part 26, Part 27, Part 28, Part 29, Part 30, Part 31,Part 32, Part 33, Part 34, Part 35, Part 36, Part 37, Part 38,Part 39,Part 40, Part 41, Part 42, Part 43, Part 44, Part 45,Part 46,Part 47, Part 48, Part 49, Part 50, Part 51, Part 52, Part 53,Part 54,Part 55, Part 56, Part 57, Part 58, Part 59, Part 60,Part 61,Part 62, Part 63, Part 64, Part 65, Part 66, Part 67, Part 68,Part 69,Part 70, Part 71, Part 72, Part 73, Part 74, Part 75,Part 76,Part 77, Part 78, Part 79, Part 80, Part 81, Part 82, Part 83,Part 84,Part 85, Part 86, Part 87, Part 88, Part 89, Part 90,Part 91,Part 92, Part 93, Part 94, Part 95, Part 96, Part 97, Part 98,Part 99,Part 100, Part 101, Part 102, Part 103,Part 104, Part 105,Part 106, Part 107,Part 108, Part 109, Part 110,Part 111, Part 112,Part 113, Part 114, Part 115,Part 116, Part 117, Part 118,Part 119,Part 120, Part 121, Part 122, Part 123,Part 124, Part 125,Part 126, Part 127, Part 128,Part 129,Part 130, Part 131,Part 132,Part 133, Part 134, Part 135, Part 136, Part 137, Part 138,Part 139,Part 140, Part 141, Part 142, Part 143, Part 144, Part 145,Part 146, Part 147, Part 148,Part 149, Part 150, Part 151,Part 152, Part 153, Part 154, Part 155, Part 156, Part 157, Part 158,Part 159, Part 160, Part 161, Part 162, Part 163, Part 164,Part 165, Part 166, Part 167, Part 168, Part 169, Part 170,Part 171,Part 172, Part 173, Part 174, Part 175, Part 176,Part 177, Part 178, Part 179 , Part 180, Part 181, Part 182, Part 183, Part 184, Part 185, Part 186, Part 187, Part 188, Part 189, Part 190, Part 191, Part 192, Part 193

[readbythestarlight]

c2e122

I just saw art on the reel of Essek and I hope we see him tonight like he’s probably worried right? They message him suggesting they’re coming and then down show up for days?

Also I still want to know why he’s there like what are the odds? Did Matt put him there as an ally to help them? Is he there to cause trouble? Inquiring minds want to know and by inquiring minds I mean ME

I wish they wouldn’t share so much with him

[[MORE]]

I also wish that he wasn’t so damn CHARMING because I HATE him

"I have a tentacle god chasing me"

"No shit?"

I feel like a ship will be born from that single exchange

Anyway

Cad being like "I’m good where I am" like "rip to Lucien but I’m different"

Also Cad being like "I want to save someone" like damn

He’s so.... fucking... annoying I hate him

Like the smugness ugh I hate him

Let me stab him

Anyway so like I can’t decide if he is or isn’t listening to every single thing they say

I wish they wouldn’t send messages out though because it just tells him that they’re working against him without outside forces

I will give Lucien this tho, he’s a wonderful character. Disgusting and evil vile but it makes SENSE why people follow him. He’s charming. He’s powerful. Like the M9 know how evil he is but even then Jester still admits to liking him

Also this continuing idea of "Molly is still in there and I want to save him" is both understandable and yet frustrating and I hope that all this finally puts Molly to rest

Like, maybe in Lucien’s final moment Molly comes though, a final proper goodbye?

Idk

Oh no

Is it the book?

Caleb I know you can’t resist a book but PLEASE

What if it’s cursed what if it does something awful what if it’s how the Somnovum snares you

Nice Beau can read it

Which is also could be bad but still

This is reminding me vaguely of the Book of Mazarbul from LotR only less tragic more evil

I love/hate the way Lucien controls the situation by controlling how much knowledge he shares

Oh shit even Caleb can’t remember??

I still cannot get over how the joke of the show became the number 9 and then BAM here’s all this symbolism around the number 9 like what are the ODDS

Why are we telling him where it is??

Y’all KNOW Lucien can dispel shit

Beau why would you say that

Why are you letting him hoLD IT

Why are y’all LIKE this what are you even GOING for here with him?

"If you hold onto it you won’t get to stay in my tower tonight"

Siiiiiiigh they’re gonna get lost again

Don’t let him in the towerrrrr *whine*

"I like it when you’re condescending, it’s attractive"

Welp there goes another ship taking off

Ah, Jester and her messages xD

"Maybe no more lava" poor guy

Caleb’s like please don’t come look at my fucked up self-loathing room

Oh yeah!! Dairon!!

They also keep mentioning my hot boi and yet not seeing him and it makes me SAD I want ESSEK

Oh boy the floor

Guys it’s fine it’s just his emotional torture floor

I’m having feeling about Caleb and his childhood home now thanks Liam you’re really out here and gonna make me cry

"I’m just not allowed to forget it."

"I don’t think you ever do. I don’t think this room would change that. And not to speak to how smart you are but I don’t you’ve figured out that you’re not supposed to forget but that you’re—not doing it wrong. You’re not using it the right way."

"It feels less like a memory and more like a punishment for yourself, Caleb."

"It exists. If it exists here it exists somewhere."

"It exists somewhere anyway... it’s a beautiful place, Caleb."

Cad and Jester coming through with the gentle nudging and the comfort

"Do you still wish to go back and undo it?"

"Of course. I regret. I regret it."

"Think Lucien has a room like this?"

Well shit, Cad.

I wonder if he still has his plans to like, actually find a way to go back and change things though or if he’s just always going to wish he could

"Endless possibilities"

One floor full of past traumas and the other is the vast openness of his future and that is SO Caleb tbh.

One of those future possibilities had better be a BeauYasha date night and ANOTHER had better be a Shadowgast date night

Huh. A desire to not remember his past. Interesting...

And threatening Cad for prying, I’m gonna fight him

He’s such a controlling freak, demanding what happens at dinner, what gets served

I hate him

“Rich kids”? It’s just magic, Cree, what’s your damage

Oh no the smile xD

Beau

Now is she making vague threats? Talking about clearing out a cult like that to the face of a cult leader

No it’s not the only cult they’ve killed. They also wrecked Obann’s cult. The Angel of Irons cult.

They’re cult killers and he should be scared.

“In the key of G”

Ugh I hate hiiiiiim

I can’t wait for this fucker to DIE already ugh

Specifically following Fjord, huh?

Also if it was someone specifically scrying shouldn’t they be able to make saves against it?

So it’s not a spell to scry right?

Also Caleb just calling him out is my fave

He’s less throwing shade than Beau and less semi-subtle than Cad (both of which are also excellent)

Hot boiiiii hottttt boiiiiiiiiiii

Please I’m begging

Yes it’s true Caleb stop being cynical he LOVES y’all

Okay but yeah the city is def a danger for him

Yes please go to Essek

Travis now is not the time to tease the DM xD

In both excited and terrified

Like listen I’ve been dying for Essek to join them but I’m also scared for him too

Oh boy that’s not a good answer

Does he need ANY of you alive?

Oh Jester, giving him free reign as a kitty cat smh

Cuddle pile on the bed!

Oh NO

I knew the fucking book was gonna be BAD

fucking hell I KNEW IT

I hate it I hate it I hate it fuck fuck fuck

Why did you look, why do you ALWAYS have to look?!

Fuuuuuuck

Please don’t look again

Damn, Matt, this description is amazing though!

“That’s rare”

Beau immediately scribbling it down, smart girl

“That’s not good” no SHIT Beau

I’ve got a bad feeling

Beau had a tattoo eye on her neck

I KNEW IT

Not on her neck but on her hand

FUCK

Oh no oh god

Fuck fuck fuck

Oh goddddd

Do NOT read the book again, do NOT

And do NOT less Essek anywhere near the book either not that he’s who’s important right now but god

And she wrote down scribbles and nothing fuck

I hate this fuuuuuuck

Are they gonna be safe if they don’t read more?? Like he said you had to read more to understand more right??

He did this on purpose he knew this would happen and I want to know WHY

Fuck I’m stressed

Is it Thursday yet?!

[larryssunflower]

The Non-Royal Romance, season two, part two

last part of season one     teaser trailer      season two, part one      masterlist

tagging- @ravenpuff02 @simplyaiden-blog @msjr0119 @butindeed @mfackenthal @choices-lurker @american-duchess @drakelover78 @monosodiumglutamateme @crookedslimecreatorpasta @mrsdrakewalkerblog @traeumerinwitzhelden @gardeningourmet​ @speedyoperarascalparty​ @agent-zephyrkah​ @liam-rhys-x-mc-x-constantine​ @snyggflicka​ @texaskitten30​ @annekebbphotography​ @irishwhiskys-blog​ @nomadics-stuff​ @catlady0911​ @twinkle-320​ @i-bloody-love-drake-walker​ @drakewalker04​ @bigmemesplz​ @jovialyouthmusic​ @sleepwalkingelite​ @pintobom​ @moneyfordiamonds​ @mskaneko​ @lauzales​ @princessleac1​ @kingliam2019​ @queen-arabella-of-cordonia​ @drake-colt-lover-99​

- Thank you all for your support and I really do apologize for taking so long with this! You would think having all the time in the world because of Quarantine would make me write more… guess not lol. But in all seriousness, I have been going through serious writer’s block right now but I hope you guys like this part! I made it a little longer than usual for you guys ;) I can’t wait to continue this story further! love you all <3 -

warning- there may or may not be some smut at the end hehe ;)

Blinking away sleep from my eyes, I sit up, stopping when I see Drake, sitting in a chair beside me, watching me with a soft look in his eyes. I blush slightly, feeling insecure having just woke up, knowing I look like a hot mess. “Ah, good morning Princess,” Drake murmurs amusedly as I stretch my arms above my head before looking at him with a tired smile. “You know I’m Queen now, right?” I retort, my voice slightly hoarse, making him smirk. “Touché,” He comments with a slight nod. I chuckle and start to remember last night, how I asked him to stay when something hits me. “How long have you been awake?” I ask, curiosity getting the better of me. He couldn’t have stayed awake the whole night, right?

He seems surprised at the question and takes a moment to think. “About 36 hours, why?” He asks nonchalantly, turning his head to the side. I choke. “36 hours? How are you alive??” I demand incredulously, my eyes wide, half in shock, half impressed. Drake chuckles, looking down. “For a time when I serving the navy, I was trained to stay awake for 72 hours,” He explains, and I’m taken aback yet again. “How?” I ask, making him smile slightly, looking down. “It’s a sniper’s tactic traditionally, which helped them stay awake while watching or following a target for a long period of time,” He says, somewhat tentatively, “It works by creating a fantasy or imagining a scenario which includes the target, to keep them attentive and focused at the task at hand.” Drake concludes. I nod along, thinking for a moment.

I glance up at him, my stomach suddenly fluttering. “So you created a scenario about… me?” I ask softly, and his cheeks redden slightly. “Y-yeah,” He admits. A grin spreads over my face. “Drake…” I start slowly, “what’s the fantasy?” I ask, my eyes flicking up to meet his. He brings his hand to scratch behind his neck, and his eyes shifting to the side. “Well-“ Drake’s cut off by aggressive pounding on my door, making me flinch, my heart stopping.

Drake is instantly on his feet. My eyes widen as I recognize the voice shouting through the door. “Hey! Alana!! I know you’re in there! Open up!”. I laugh in shock, making Drake look at me, surprised. I clamber off my bed, rushing over to the door. “Alana you can’t just-“ Drake starts, coming after me, but I fling the door open to reveal someone who has been at university for the past four years, my sister. “Kai!” I exclaim, throwing my arms around her, making her giggle, hugging me back. “Alana! god, it’s been too long!” She gushes, squeezing me tightly. I pull away to take a good look at her. I feel emotional as she smiles at me, looking so grown up. “Wow, Kai, you look older than me! How is that possible?” I laugh, making her shrug playfully.

“It’s all the studying! I swear I’ve aged about thirty years just to get a damn Bachelor’s,” Kai chuckles, her eyes drifting over my shoulder. “Oh! Kai, this is my bodyguard, Drake,” I say, turning so she can see him. She nods at him, and he does the same back.

I grab Kai’s hand, dragging her inside. “Come in! We need to catch up.” I demand, marching her to my couch in the corner of the room. Drake walks to the door, motioning that he will be out in the hallway, and I nod with a smile.

“Gah! I’m so excited for you! I used to dream about this time when we were younger, thinking about you being Queen and engaged! It’s so exciting!” She exclaims, her face bright. I force the best smile I can. If only she knew how complicated all of this is. “Well it’s not all perfect,” I start, but she cuts me off. “Well of course. You still have that Assassination situation, and I’m sure the wedding planning is going to be crazy, but no matter what you need, I’ll be right here.” She implores, holding my hand.

A huge wave of gratitude washes over me and I smile with a sigh of relief. “Thank you Kai, I really appreciate it. It also helps that you are way more educated than I am,” I say with a chuckle, and she just grins. “I’ve always been the smarter one, I think you should learn to accept that,” She retorts cheekily, making me roll my eyes. “Whatever,” I chuckle.

The door opens after a gentle knock, Drake sticking his head in. “Hey, Maxwell’s here-“ and before he can finish his sentence, Max barges in, squealing with excitement when he sees Kai. Drake just rolls his eyes in annoyance, making me grin. I know he secretly loves it, although he will never admit that. “Little K!” Maxwell exclaims, running over. Kai gets up excitedly, wrapping him in a hug.

We all catch up for a moment before Maxwell turns to me. “Oh yeah! We have that barn-raising today, so you guys should probably get dressed.” Maxwell says, and I groan at my forgetfulness. “Oh, I came just in time then!” Kai says excitedly.

“Let’s go catch up somewhere else and let my dear sister change in peace,” Kai says, grabbing Max’s arm, and guiding him out. I wave after them with a chuckle as Max starts to fill her in on the past four years.

—-

Our car finally arrives at the small patch of farm where the building of the barn has already started. A crowd of nobles are helping construction workers lay down the foundation, clearly sweating on the warm summer day. The paparazzi are snapping photos here and there, while others wait in the shade for new nobles to arrive, ready to assault them with questions for their magazines and gossip columns.

Drake turns around in his seat, facing Kai and I. “Are you two ready?” He asks, and I nod. “Yeah, I guess so,” Kai mumbles, seeming nervous. It’s her first time being introduced to the press. Like me, she was hidden her whole childhood from Cordonia. It actually ended up helping her when she went to university in France, because no one knew who she was. Her intellectual success depended on her work, not her title. I’m not surprised she is nervous, not too long ago it was my first time being in front of the press at the derby. God, that feels like a century ago.

Drake opens my door, holding his hand out. For a moment I’m back to that day, and Drake is still here, holding his hand for me. If only things had changed. In the beginning, I had dreaded the inevitability having to be engaged and married to someone I didn’t love, but after meeting Drake and slowly falling in love with him, the thought of being with someone else became painful to even consider. If only I was on the engagement tour with him as my fiancé, not as my bodyguard. I take his hand and step down, making eye contact with his beautiful deep eyes for a moment, before I look away, feeling loss as soon as my eyes leave his. He helps Kai down, and the three of us start down the dirt path to the barn, the hot summer wind already wrapping itself around me like a thick blanket. The paparazzi spot us, and the vultures descend. In seconds they are crowded around us, shouting and snapping pictures, blinding us with their flash.

“Who is this woman with you?” “Alana! How are things with Liam?” “Have you found the Assassins yet?” “Who are you wearing?”

“Okay folks, back up!” Drake shouts, him and Kai’s bodyguard creating a barrier between us and pushing them away. “Come on! Just one comment!” One reporter begs, and Drake looks over at me. I nod reluctantly in approval. “The Queen will give a statement, so shut up and let her speak,” Drake says in a commanding voice and within seconds the paparazzi quiet down, eagerly holding out tape recorders towards us and positioning their cameras. I clear my throat nervously. “Thank you all for uh, coming out today, I appreciate it. This is my younger sister, Princess Kai, she just graduated from University and will be accompanying me during the engagement tour,” I begin, my palms already starting to sweat. I am hopeless at public speaking. “We, unfortunately, haven’t found anything on the assassination yet, but we are working tirelessly to find out who orchestrated that horrible event. And Liam and I are doing well. Thank you,” I finish the statement to my incredible relief, already cringing at my choppy, awkward speech. The paparazzi only respond with more questions and I’m about to leave when Kai stops me, her hand in my arm. “wait,” she whispers to me before turning to the paparazzi.

“Hello, I wanted to make sure to personally introduce myself to you all. As my amazing sister said, I just graduated from University and I am so pleased to finally be home in Cordonia. It breaks my heart to be home at such a scary time, where the people and nobles alike are scared for their lives. But I assure you, as my sister said, we will work tirelessly until we find who is responsible. In the meantime, all we can do is help unite Cordonia, and remind people of love, kindness, and hope in this troubling time. Because that is what Liam and Alana’s union stands for, the perseverance of our incredible country and the unity of our nation. Now, if you lovely people don’t mind, we have a barn to build.” Kai finishes effortlessly with a firm nod, before looping her arm through mine and leading me toward the barn.

I stumble after her in shock. I open and close my mouth wordlessly. “Wow. You are incredible at speaking- words-” I stutter, further proving my point of being helpless at speaking, making her laugh. “Yeah well I learned a lot about diplomacy and public speaking at school, but to be honest its a second nature at this point,” She says simply. We are quiet for a moment, the only sound being the crunch of our shoes on the dirt.

After a moment, I break the comfortable silence. “You reminded me of dad,” I say suddenly, making her stop, her eyes soft. “Really?” She asks, a hopeful smile on her face. I nod. “He was always incredible at speaking, you know that,, I always admired him for it,” I mumble, a sadness falling over me. He died when I was eight, Kai was only five, but she still misses him just as much. I was always a daddy’s girl which made life after his death so much harder with my distant mother who only got worse as the years went by.

“Hey, just because you aren’t the best at public speaking doesn’t mean you won’t be a great leader,” Kai reassures me, but I just snort. “Let’s hope so,” I say, making her laugh.

“Ah, You must be the famous little sister!” A voice says, and we look over to see Liam and Leo walking up to us. Kai nods with a polite laugh. “That’s me! You must be the fiancé!” She enthuses, and he nods with a grin. He kisses her hand respectfully, before turning to me. “Hey babe,” He says sweetly, planting a kiss on my cheek. “Hey,” I mumble, and instinctively my eyes immediately snap up to look at Drake, who is watching Liam closely, his eyes narrowed. I try to hide my smile as I look away and notice Leo approaching Kai.

“Hello gorgeous,” Leo says with a bow, kissing Kai’s outstretched knuckles. She squints her eyes at him for a moment, clearly looking him over with distaste. “I believe the term you were looking for is ‘Your Highness’,” Kai responds flatly, only making a smirk spread across Leo’s face. He nods. “Of course, Your Highness,” He says slyly, amusement in his eyes. Kai just rolls her eyes before turning to me.

“Ready to raise a barn?” She asks. I chuckle and nod. All four of us, the bodyguards following, head over to the construction site and start hammering, lifting support beams, and painting wood strips.

—

Kai and I paint the newly applied wooden slats of the barn side by side. We chat as we do so, filling each other in on all the gossip of the past four years. “Max finally asked Allie out? I’m so happy for them!” Kai gushes, and I smile at the bittersweetness of the situation. It’s great to have Kai back again, but it’s sad because we have missed out on so much of each other’s lives.

“So, I saw what happened between you and Leo,” I whisper tentatively, glancing over my shoulder to look at Leo, who was helping Liam hammer the support beams. Kai groans with a roll of her eyes. “Ugh, do not get me started. I know all about his ‘bachelor lifestyle’ and how he treats women like disposable tissues. All the women at uni knew about him, and when I told them where I was from, all they could do was gush about him constantly. I don’t get it. He flirts with anything that has two breasts and a vagina,” She scoffs, shaking her head, painting with a new sense of anger. I snicker at my usually composed sister. “So you don’t like him then?” I ask cheekily, making her look over at me with a dead-pan expression. “No.” She says flatly, making me snicker more. At least we can agree on that.

A hand comes up suddenly, touching my shoulder gently. I jump, turning to see Liam. “Hey babe, I think it would be a good idea to be doing some things together, you know, for publicity?” He says, glancing over at the paparazzi hanging around, snapping pictures here and there but looking quite restless. “Oh, that’s a good idea! Yeah, you guys should do that!” Kai nods, and I reluctantly smile. “Yeah, let’s do it then,” I say with fake enthusiasm, before following him.

Liam and I start to do little things together like painting window panes, securing them to the walls, helping hoist materials to the roof, all the while, getting top-notch ‘candid’ pictures for the paps. Eventually, a good amount of the press leaves, clearly getting all the photos needed. “Well, that was fun,” Liam comments, and I nod. We stand in an awkward silence before I speak. “Yeah, I should probably get back to Kai, we have a lot to catch up on,” I say quickly, and Liam nods. I turn around, heading over to Kai before I look up and stop in my tracks.

My jaw drops as I spot Drake, shirtless, pulling on a rope to help maneuver a pretty big beam. My mouth feels dry as I observe the way the sun shines over him through the unfinished roof. Blinking dumbly, I watch his muscles shift in the midday sun, seemingly in slow motion, a sheen of sweat gleaming on his lean figure. “Damn. That’s your bodyguard?” Kai says beside me, snapping me out of my daze. I clear my throat, forcing myself to tear my eyes from his fit form. “Uh- yeah. He’s great.” I mumble, suddenly feeling really hot. “Hey, do you reckon you guys got some good shots with Liam?” Kai asks, and I nod. “Yeah- um, they should turn out great,” I say absentmindedly, grabbing a spare paintbrush and joining Kai at the wooden panels.“Are you alright?” Kai asks, looking at me with concern. I chuckle. “Yes! I’m just a bit hot after all this work! It doesn’t help that it feels like 900 degrees outside,” I laugh, making Kai nod in agreement.

“I have a solution for that problem m’ lady’s,” Maxwell says from behind us, slinging both of his arms over our shoulders. “And that is?” Kai asks with amusement, glancing over at Max’s enthusiastic face. “Well, there is a certain spa not so far from here. If you ask me, it’s the perfect thing after all this hard labor,” Max says with a pair of pleading puppy dog eyes. I snort. “Okay Max, we can go,” I smile, making Max let out a cheer, before going to inform Liam and Leo. “I missed you guys,” Kai says with a sweet smile. “Trust me K, we missed you too,” I grin, my heart happy. It’s nice to have family together like this again.

I sneak a peek back over my shoulder at Drake to see him shaking hands with one of the other construction workers, buttoning his shirt, his suit jacket resting on his shoulders.

In another world, I would be standing in front of him, finishing his buttons for him, straightening out his jacket, and planting a kiss on his lips to finish it off. Like an actual couple. I sigh, before going back to painting the barn.

—

After a quick celebration for the now completed barn, Liam, Leo, Maxwell, Kai, and I head over to the spa, the sun starting to set and the world beginning to cool down, satisfied with the work we put in all afternoon. “Its actually way more satisfying than I thought, seeing our hard work being translated to an actual finished building!” Max enthuses. “And what ‘hard work’ did you do exactly? It almost seemed like every time I saw you, I think you were taking a ‘break’” Liam grins with feigned confusion. Maxwell mocks offense with a dramatic scoff and a delicate hand on his chest. “Dear Liam, never have I been so offended! You just happened to see me between my bursts of intense labor,” Max dismisses, making the rest of us laugh.

“I’m pretty sure the person who did the hardest labor was Mr. Walker,” Kai starts, turning to a now surprised Drake, who was following us with the other bodyguard. “You were helping pull a huge beam, most people would need two others to help with something that size,” Kai says, impressed. The rest of us turn to look at Drake for his answer. Clearly uncomfortable with all the eyes on him, he clears his throat. “Oh, well I know a couple of the construction workers and they needed an extra pair of um- hands, so I helped out,” He says, averting eye contact. I smile at his stubborn humbleness. It’s adorable.

“Well good job man, good to know the man working to protect my fiancé is a hard worker,” Liam says, clapping his shoulder. Drake just nods, his jaw clenching. As we continue our walk, I wonder if Liam is purposefully condescending towards Drake. It really seems like it.

Kai decides to join Max in his car to the spa, and Leo quickly follows. They encourage Liam and me to get some ’alone time’ by driving separately. Liam, Drake, and I reach my car, both men reaching to open the door for me at the same time, making them stop. They look at each other for a moment. “No need to worry about that Drake, I can open the door for my fiancé,” Liam says, an edge to his voice. Drake glances over at me. I just nod, so Drake backs away. “Of course,” Drake says unenthusiastically, allowing Liam to open my door. I get in, and Liam follows, closing the door. Drake gets in the front with the driver, and we follow Maxwell’s car to the spa.

Liam’s hand feels foreign as it rests on my knee protectively. “You look beautiful today Alana,” Liam says in my ear. I smile. “Thank you, you look handsome, as usual,” I respond. His hand drifts from my knee to find my left hand, his thumb running over the surface of my decadent ring. I watch as he does so, the familiar feeling of guilt creeping up my throat. “I can’t wait to marry you,” Liam mumbles softly. I glance over at him. He looks up at me with a smile. “M-me too,” I stutter, the guilt overpowering my heart manifesting into sadness. I hate doing this to him. Being engaged, making him think I love him when I fear that I never will. My eyes flick up to the rearview mirror to see Drake watching us. I quickly look away to the scenery outside the window, forcing myself to not let the tear that’s threatening to fall show how broken my heart is.

In about ten minutes of silence, we arrive at the spa to my relief. Liam quickly opens our car door, getting out first, before Drake can even go to open it. Liam seems proud of himself as he holds the door open to me, his hand held out like Drake’s usually is. Drake stands behind Liam, looking frustrated. I take Liam’s hand getting out of the car before brushing softly past Drake and meeting up with the rest of the group inside.

—

We unwind in a private room, equipped with a hot tub, a cold plunge, and lounge chairs. Some of us go off at different times to get massages and facials, before coming back so we can all enjoy the room together. At some point, Maxwell shows off his baby hippo tattoo that I encouraged him to get one night when we were pretty drunk. Kai nearly falls off the lounge chair with laughter. I even catch Drake shaking his head slightly, a grin pulling at the corners of his mouth.

“Good idea on coming here buddy,” Liam comments, making Max smile with cocky satisfaction. He leans back, folding his hands behind his head cooly and stretching out fully on the lounge chair. “Don’t worry about it, I just require that you continue to talk about how awesome and incredible this idea was for the rest of our lives, and how much you admire me,” Max shrugs confidently, making us roll our eyes.

“Yeah, you get to be thrown into the plunge for that,” Leo concludes, making Liam nod in agreement.

“W-wait what?” Max asks, sitting up, his eyes wide. Leo and Liam suddenly grab him, making him squeal as they head over to the cold plunge. They throw him into the freezing water after a dramatic count to three, his high pitched scream cutting out as he is submerged underwater. Kai and I laugh as Leo and Liam nod, looking pleased with themselves until Max grabs their ankles, dragging them into the water, their expressions changing pretty quickly. Kai and I laugh even harder, clutching at our stomachs as the men surface, their hair stuck to the forehead with sour expressions on their faces.

“That’s what you guys get for being jerks!” Kai shouts playfully. “Oh sorry, would you like to join us?” Leo asks, turning his head to the side. “I think she does,” Maxwell confirms, as they get out, heading over to us. Kai gasps, getting up quickly. “No! I hate the cold!” She exclaims with a grin, backing up. The boys suddenly start after her, making her shriek with laughter as she gets chased around the room. I grin, watching them. After they successfully get her in the plunge, Leo and Maxwell turn to me. “Unless you want to have the wrath of the Queen against you, I would suggest you back away,” I warn, making them glance at each other, before deciding its not worth it and backing away, starting a splashing war against Kai.

Liam gets out, heading over and sitting next to me. “How are you feeling?” I ask cheekily as he wraps himself in his towel. “Cold.” He says with a laugh, making me chuckle. “I can see that,” I say with amusement. “Hey, want to join me in the sauna? The hot steam sounds very appealing right now,” Liam chuckles. “Yeah, sure,” I say, getting up. We head down a hallway, the sauna just behind a marked door on the left.

Liam turns around, and he sighs. “Walker, it’s not necessary for you to follow us everywhere we go,” He says, making me turn to see Drake standing behind us, his eyes narrowed at Liam. “It is my job to protect her,” Drake says sternly, holding his ground. “Not for long. Last time I checked, that’s a husband’s job,” Liam snarls, inching towards Drake. “I’m sorry, last time I checked, you two are only engaged,” Drake responds, inching towards Liam as well, his fists balled. I widen my eyes, stepping between them. “First of all, I don’t need anyone to protect me okay? And I especially don’t need you two fighting over protecting me like I’m a child. Drake, thank you for your concern, but we will be okay. Liam, Drake is just trying to do his job, and I need you to respect that,” I lecture them. Drake nods, looking down. Liam backs up, looking embarrassed. “God,” I swear under my breath, shaking my head and walking into the sauna.

Liam and I sit on the wooden seats, enjoying the hot steam enveloping us. I lean back, closing my eyes. I feel my muscles finally relaxing, the stress and soreness from building the barn starting to dissipate.

I open my eyes to Drake kissing my neck, his stubble scratching over my sensitive skin, making me gasp slightly. “Shh, it’s alright, I’m going to make you feel good princess,” He whispers hoarsely in my ear, making me moan breathily, goosebumps rising all over my arms. His hands are running slowly up and down my bare back, his mouth moving down my body. I run my hands through his soft hair, tugging slightly, earning a throaty groan from him. I watch him as his mouth gets lower and lower-

“Alana! I think you fell asleep,” Liam says beside me, gently shaking my shoulder. I jump slightly, looking over to see Liam sitting next to me, watching me with a concerned look. I chuckle, bringing my hand to my forehead, feeling embarrassed. “Sorry! I had no idea I fell asleep,” I say sheepishly, my cheeks burning as I sit up straight. My face feels really hot, I just can’t tell if it’s from the steam or the dream. Liam chuckles. “You seemed like you were having an interesting dream,” He says, making me nod with a gulp. “Yeah, I uh, don’t remember it, you know how dreams can be,” I stutter. He just nods in agreement. “Hey, lets head out, I’m feeling a little light-headed,” I say quickly, getting up.

As we open the door, the cool refreshing air washes over us. Drake turns around to face us, making butterflies flutter in my stomach as we make eye contact. All I can think about is the dream, the way he was feeling me. “Yo Liam! come over here!” Leo shouts from the main room. Liam shoots me a smile before walking over the group. I stay behind, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, glancing over at Drake, suddenly feeling nervous around him.

He slightly furrows his brow. “Are you okay?” He questions, glancing over me. I gulp, with a nervous nod. “Y-yeah, I’m fine, I just fell asleep in there and feel a little light-headed,” I mutter, shifting on my feet. Drake watches me for a minute.

“You’re acting strange,” He states, making me scoff. “Me? I- am not acting strange,” I say, trying to sound casual. Drake leans in, his eyes roaming my face as I stare back at him, my heart pounding. “Did- Did you have a hot dream about me?” He asks a grin pulling at the corner of his mouth.

My mind goes blank on defenses, making Drake’s grin grow wider. “You did didn’t you?” He asks a look of astonishment on his face. My face gets even hotter, only being able to stutter in response.

Drake glances down the hallway, then back at me, before grabbing the back of my neck, pulling my lips to his. I gasp against him, kissing him back. He suddenly breaks off the kiss, making me sigh in defeat. not again. I glance back up at him, waiting for the usual excuses he tells like ‘this isn’t right’ or ‘you’re engaged’, but he doesn’t say anything, just stares down at me.

He grabs my hand and swiftly drags me into the bathroom on the other side of the hall, locking the door behind me. I blink up at him with wide eyes, waiting for him to say something. He just pushes me up against the closed door, kissing me again, rougher this time. Oh. I kiss him back hungrily, basking in this feeling with him, the way his large hands are tugging me closer against his frame, how his lips move in sync with mine. He breaks the kiss, his mouth right beside my ear, his warm breath fanning across my cheeks. “I hate seeing you with him,” He murmurs lowly, making me gulp at his deep voice, arousal shooting up my body. “mhmm, why is that?” I ask coyly. “because you’re mine,” Drake snarls with a protective squeeze, making goosebumps rise on my arms. I lean back so we are face to face. He stares at me for a moment, his pupils blown. “prove it,” I whisper slowly. His gaze becomes determined and he deftly moves his hands to roughly grab just below my ass, hoisting me up. My legs wrap around him instinctively, biting my lip at the feeling of his hands digging into my thighs and the cool wall against my back.

His lips find mine once again, quickly and with purpose. I start kissing him back, a sound of surprise erupting from the back of my throat as I feel one of his hands move to the inside of my thigh, making my stomach flip. “Is this okay?” He breathes slowly and I gulp before nodding rapidly, my heart suddenly hammering with anticipation. He smirks and his fingers reach my core, making me gasp, heat flickering up my abdomen. I feel a rush of adrenaline shooting through my veins as I realize what’s happening. I groan as his fingers move expertly between my legs, making my toes curl in pleasure, the knot in my stomach growing. I squeeze my thighs around his waist to garner more friction, moaning at the feeling of his touch. “you like that princess?” He growls, his voice deep. I nod with a soft moan as I throw my head back, making Drake take the opportunity to kiss the sensitive skin under my jaw, the various sensations overwhelming my senses. His fingers start to move in tantalizing circles around my clit, making me whimper in pleasure, grinding down on his hand. I can barely keep still, overcome with the intoxicating feeling of being with Drake.

The knot builds and builds until my chest is heaving as Drake continues to touch me, and in a second, the knot comes undone and I chew my lip to stop myself from crying out as I finish, seeing stars. Drake gently helps me on my feet as I try to catch my breath, my knees weak. “I- wow,” I pant, earning a slight chuckle from Drake. For some reason, I feel embarrassed, but when I look up to see the way he is looking at me, all of the apprehension vanishes.

He gently raises my chin, gazing softly down at me. “I cherish you, more than he ever can” He murmurs, making me fall for him even more, something I didn’t imagine was possible. I smile back up at him, looking into his sincere eyes.

“I only have eyes for you Walker, you know that”

—-

end of part 2 :)

I hope you guys liked It! I’m sorry if the smut is bad, I haven’t written in so long and I’m still not very good at writing it haha! sorry again for how long this took

[bbrandy2002]

My Love

Chapter 8

Pairing: Liam and Riley

Book: TRH

A/N: Thanks @burnsoslow​ for the punctuation and grammar magic on the first half of this. The rest is all on me ... lol (Somehow, I got two college degrees with my shame). Also, @patriciaanchrist2019​ , who has begged me for two weeks to get this posted ... here ya go :)

**This chapter is, by far, my most favorite thing I have ever written. I don't care if everyone hates it, thinks it weird or whatevs. It’s so different that I can’t get enough of it. After the next chapter, I have no idea where this thing is heading, but damn if I can't wait to find out.

___________________________________________________________

Liam clenched his fist so tightly, he felt the burning sting of blown veins and vessels that had earlier been penetrated by a needle forcing fluids into his hot blood. These same two hands that squeezed together in murderous rage were the same ones he had envisioned moments ago being wrapped around the exposed neck of his wife's recently discovered killer, gripped so firmly and securely, there would be no doubt that not one drop of air would enter or depart from her immoral lips. He needed to watch her fearful eyes beg him for the compassion and mercy she so callously cheated Riley of  -- cheated him of. Instead, she had the audacity to stare back at him with an expression reminiscent of a blushing bride approaching her groom at the altar. 

She looked at him with love and admiration.

He looked at her with hatred and scorn.

Somehow, amid this face-off, Liam would make damn sure those bright brown eyes that mysteriously beamed in the darkness of her chilly hospital room would soon witness the long-awaited wrath and vengeance he had waiting for her.

Riley had a million thoughts racing through her head all at once. The man she had loved and given her heart to in life was standing before her. His appearance was weak and frail; he wasn't the same muscular, strong, and cheerful man she remembered. Her heart sank further into her chest, wanting to hold him and make the hurt all disappear. Riley could only assume this change in Liam was a result of her death, and if he only knew that she was right there waiting for him to take her into his loving arms, it could change everything. 

But how would she even begin to bring that up? Riley had never believed in such things, and Liam was far more realistic and pragmatic than even she. 

For the moment, all she could do was play along.

Liam casually shut and locked the door to Riley's room before inching further inside. The moonlight cascaded a bluish glow through the window of the room as Liam ran a menacing hand over the hard plastic footing of her bed.

"Your Majesty." She spoke with a guttural whisper and bowed her head to him. "It's kind of you to come … although I am somewhat surprised you would visit me -- and at this late of an hour."

Liam stroked the scruff on his chin, never once taking his blazing eyes away from her. "I bet you are, Miss Talbert," he replied derisively.

Riley sensed the peculiar tone in his voice and demeanor; she wasn't sure what to make of it, never having seen him this way. She shifted curiously in her bed.

"Sir?  Is there something --"

He raised his hand to stop her. "Never address me unless you are asked to. Are we clear?" The softness of her small, listless voice had no effect on him, nor did the gauze and bruises that blanketed her delicate skin.

"My apologies, sir. I … I was only trying --" she scrambled nervously, attempting to make sense of his bitter tone and attitude until he abruptly shouted an array of expletives and shoved her hospital tray across the room. Riley startled, and her eyes widened in panic as he whipped around to the side of her bed and placed his hands in the crook of her neck. "Liam! What are you doing?"

"You fucking bitch! Did you honestly think you could get away with it?"

"I don't understand! Away with what?" she wailed frightfully. Her tiny hands gripped both of his wrists in a desperate struggle to loosen his hold while her feet burrowed desperately into the mattress. This was not her kind, gentle Liam; this man's venomous glare could have pierced daggers straight through her.

"Don't you dare give me that bullshit! They found the cyanide. They know about your fake name … Victoria! Your relation to Amalas!  We know it was you who killed Riley! I just don't know why … so I will give you exactly 30 seconds to spill your guts or so help me, I will do it for you!"

Riley's shaky hands left Liam's wrist and stretched over her gaping mouth. "It was … Amanda?" she muttered through shock and growing nausea that spontaneously transformed into her own personal anger and betrayal. There was literally no time to dwell on it or even think it through because Liam was mere seconds away from killing her. She knew how much he loved her. She knew he had every intention of doing so.

"You have 30 seconds, Amanda, to tell me why … why you took her away from our baby and me…" Liam's tone grew more somber, and his jaw began to quake. "She was … the best wife … the best mother … my best friend and queen …  my love … and you … you took all of that away, and I just want … no … I need to know … why?"

Tears flowed heavily down Riley's cheeks at his poignant words, but the hurt and pain this woman had caused him were so tremendous and profound that she was appalled by it all. 

And she was the cause of it.

"ANSWER ME! WHY?"

Her breathing was strained as she struggled for a response that would not only satisfy him but also keep her alive. 

She decided to take a gamble.

"I know this is going to sound crazy --"

"I don't want crazy; I want the truth!" he snapped back.

Riley's glistening eyes gazed deeply into his harsh ones as she steadied her breaths. "Liam, I'm asking you to listen carefully to what I am about to tell you. If you will give me a chance, I can prove everything to you … I think."

Liam furrowed his brow; there was something oddly familiar about the way she spoke and looked at him. "I already have proof. There is nothing more you could possibly prove to me that will prevent you from your fate."

"I know you. I know your hopes … your dreams … your fears. Do you remember being on the balcony at Valtoria during the Lantern Lighting Festival? You asked what part of yourself you should let go of before you released it into the sky. You released your fears about being a good ruler. You questioned it so frequently that … it just made sense."

"How the hell did you know that? Did my wife tell you?"

Riley smiled affectionately. "I assure you … your wife would never betray your confidence like that."

Liam released his hands from her neck, more so out of curiosity over this new game he felt she was playing than thinking there was something more to her words. He glared at her with intrigue and crossed his arms. "What are you doing?"

"You have a tiny scar on your left elbow that you got from Leo when you were six years old. He pushed you into an armchair after you told your dad he swiped a questionable magazine from the former Duke of Karlington's chambers. You never told your wife about that."

Liam faked an amused laugh while he clapped his hands deliberately and with emphasis. "Thank you for taking me down this little road of memories. Did you wish to continue telling me private things about myself, or did you want to tell me what I ate for dinner the night before I married Riley?" he asked with a sardonic tone. 

"You snuck into my room at the palace after the rehearsal dinner, and we had pasta with tomato sauce, just as we did during our first date at the Beaumonts' when you told me your greatest dream was to one day have a family."

"Shut up!"

"Liam … I know what Amanda did, but I need you to look past that right now and see who I really am."

"I said, shut the fuck up! You are not her! This is all just some terribly-planned scheme to play on my emotions, and it's not going to work."

"You hated the annual Regatta because the boat you and Drake snuck out onto when you were kids collapsed and you nearly drowned. Applewood was the only place you ever felt normal as a kid. You chucked a blackened salade Nicoise into a vase in Paris --"

"I'm warning you! Stop!"

"-- The combination to the wall safe in our bedroom is your mother's birth date backward, and the passcode to the arsenal is 20 numbers long, and only three people know it, but I can recite them for you right now if you wish … "

Liam stood silent and expressionless, but inside, his heart was thundering out of his chest, his mind cluttered with so many questions, he couldn't make sense of any of it. There is no way she can know all of this stuff.

Riley, however, knew that stoic expression all too well; it was the look he had when he was nervous and deliberating deeply in his thoughts. If she ever had the chance to at least have him seriously consider what she was trying to tell him, it was now.

"I know it's crazy … I know …  but please look at me, and you will know. Amanda died in that park, Liam. I heard you this morning in our bedroom, begging me to come back to you before you collapsed, and I know it sounds completely and utterly ridiculous, but it's me, Liam! It's me … Riley."

__________________

Liam was discharged the following morning but couldn't get the words Amanda had thrown at him late last night out of his mind. As he rode in the limo back to the palace, he fumbled with the hospital bracelet that was still taped around his wrist and gazed thoughtfully out the window. He wanted to believe, yet at the same time, he didn't. Believing meant getting hurt by something so outrageous and unbelievable that he couldn't allow himself to go there.

After she made her final declaration stating she was Riley, he destroyed her room in a fit of rage, and guards had to break through her door to stop the destruction. Liam heard her terrified cries and pleas for him to stop before he hurt himself, but nothing could have upset him more than this woman trying to pass herself off as his late wife.

He couldn't help but wonder how she knew all of those things. Maybe Riley mentioned them to her during their short time working together; however, his wife would never tell this woman -- or anyone else for that matter -- their closely guarded secrets. Liam twisted his arm and glanced down at the tiny scar he had long forgotten on his elbow. He rubbed a finger gingerly over the nearly invisible mark, knowing he had never mentioned it to Riley. He didn't recall Leo sharing it with her during their brief encounters together, either. 

She knew he collapsed yesterday while calling out for his wife. Amanda was found beaten in the park around that same time.

The only thing Liam knew for sure at this moment was that one of the questions that had haunted him for weeks had finally been answered: Amanda murdered his wife. 

Liam walked through the door of his quarters and was immediately met with the sound of his daughter's hearty cackles and what he believed to be Maxwell blowing raspberries on her tummy. He rounded the corner and entered the living room suite, where he saw Maxwell holding Ellie in front of his face, tickling her belly with his nose. Drake was seated on the couch with his feet propped up on the coffee table watching X-treme Cordonian Monster Trucks and absentmindedly twirling Ellie's pacifier on one of his fingers. 

Liam chuckled to himself. "It appears I'm missing one hell of a party."

Both Maxwell and Drake perked up at the sight of their friend looking at least somewhat healthier than he did yesterday and greeted him.

Liam lifted Ellie from Maxwell's grasp and sat on the sofa to snuggle her into his neck. Nothing felt better than holding her so tightly, smelling the scent of her lavender baby lotion, and hearing her excitement over being held and talked to by her daddy. He sat her down on his lap to face him and reached one hand around her back for support while he fussed over her. 

Drake and Maxwell were surprised by his calm demeanor; they both knew Amanda had been named the killer. That was the only thing they knew. They gave Liam time to play with his daughter, knowing how much the two of them had missed one another. Ellie had become a daddy's girl in every sense of the word, and Liam didn't mind one bit spoiling the brightest spot in his life. She watched his face intently as he made silly faces at her, which in turn caused her to let out a quick giggle and for her chubby arms to flap wildly. Liam couldn't help but notice her eyes had that same familiar gleam he saw in Amanda's last night. Please look at me, and you will know. 

Drake noticed the change in Liam's crestfallen face and cleared his throat. "What's wrong, Li?"

"Yeah, I noticed it too, Drake. Baby E always makes you happier, so what's up?" Maxwell asked as he passed Liam a fresh bottle. 

Liam was reluctant to share what happened last night with anyone, but at the same time, it was all he could think about, and he really wanted the advice of his closest friends. With a deep breath, Liam told them about dropping by Amanda's room at the hospital. Both guys questioned why he would do that to himself after everything he had gone through yesterday -- and then finding out she was the one who took Riley's life. 

Liam leaned back into the cushions of the sofa; Ellie was still feeding on the bottle he held for her. "I just … I needed to know why. I wanted to find out who she was working for."

"Did she tell you anything?" Drake asked.

Liam scoffed and nodded. "You could say that. She claimed she was … Riley."

Maxwell scurried over to Liam and placed his hands gently on Ellie's tiny ears, knowing what was about to be said.

"What the fuck?!" Drake remarked and clenched his fist. "I'll kill her myself."

Maxwell lifted his hands from Ellie's ears and scratched the edge of his brow. "She claimed she was Riley? What … I mean, why? Is it from her head injury?"

"Maybe … I don't know." Liam stood with Ellie still in his arms and walked to the fireplace. He glanced up at the picture of him and Riley that had been taken on their first trip to the Eiffel Tower during the Engagement Tour. "She knew things about our life … very personal, private things that no one else knew."

"Riley must have told her. Or, you were spied on." Drake countered.

Liam continued to study the picture, more specifically, Riley's flashing smile and sparkling eyes in it. He turned to face Drake and Maxwell with a thoughtful expression. "Let me ask you something, guys. Did Riley ever tell you what I wished for during the Lantern Festival, or … hell, even the combination to our safe?"

Both men were surprised by the oddity of his questions but answered together with a resounding no.

"If Riley didn't tell her closest friends … why would she share that information with a woman she barely knew?"

"Then you were spied on," Drake retorted.

Liam reflected for a moment, then twisted back around to study her face in the photo again. "She knew things that were said only to Riley in so many different places and different occasions throughout our relationship that there is no way it could have been incidents of spying. They were little, insignificant things ..." He closed his eyes and felt the first trickle of a tear roll down his cheek. "It just felt ... so real." 

Visibly shaken, and noticing Ellie's eyes beginning to roll with heaviness, Liam insisted he was fine, excusing himself to put Ellie down for her nap and get himself cleaned up.

Drake reached into his pants pocket and pulled out his car keys before he eyed Maxwell. "What do you say about paying our little friend a visit?"

___________________

That morning, Riley was visited by another trauma counselor who wanted to discuss her feelings about the previous day's assault. Everyone, including Liam, wanted answers from her that she didn't have, and, most likely, never would. While sifting through a tray of cold scrambled eggs, she mulled over the betrayal by someone she thought of as a friend, and how it had so profoundly affected her husband. Riley was in an impossible position that she had no clue how to get out of. If last night was any indication, she was a trigger for Liam. Enemy number one. If she were to somehow get him to believe her, how would she face the onslaught of backlash from a country that was sure to want her punished severely for the murder of their queen? 

For every question lobbed at her, Riley had her own.

Riley took a sip of her water. Over the small, plastic cup, she caught a glimpse of two familiar faces whose scowls implied they were no longer friendly. She placed her cup on the stand beside her and tucked a strand of her now golden-brown hair behind her ear. As she watched a timid Maxwell lean up against the wall closest to the door, Drake moved in closer to her with a look that suggested he was not there to catch up on old times.  

She glanced between the two men who were like her brothers and plastered on a nervous smile. "Drake … Maxwell," she acknowledged.

Drake lowered himself into an exaggerated bow before rising again to his fullest posture. "Your Majesty … that is who you are, right? Or have you decided you're someone else now? Perhaps you can be my late dad or Maxwell's mother. Whatever gets you the most sympathy from someone -- am I right …  Amanda?"

Riley closed her eyes, concern clouded on her features, and she turned her head away from him. "How is he, Drake?"

Drake scratched his neck and replied sarcastically, "Oh, he's just peachy. Got a lot to do, you know, with planning your execution and all."

Riley's hand shot to her mouth to stifle the laugh that threatened to escape. She didn't want to piss him off anymore than he already was, yet at the same time, she really did. "Since when did you start saying 'peachy,' Walker? 'Oh, he's just peachy,'" she mocked jokingly in his husky voice. "God, Drake … I love you sometimes, you big marshmallow."

Maxwell let out an uproarious guffaw and clutched his stomach. "You are a big marshmallow, Drake!"

Drake glared back at him. "Maxwell!" he shouted. "Who the fuck's side are you on?"

"Don't listen to him, Max," Riley goaded while she casually smoothed out the wrinkles in the blanket that covered her. "He knows you'd take a bullet for him." Realizing what she just said, Riley, cut her eyes to Drake and chortled. "I know, Drake. You actually did."

Drake furrowed his brows and felt a twinge in his shoulder. "Everyone knows that. It's public knowledge. Gonna have to try a little harder there, lady. Next thing you know you'll be telling me I drink whiskey." 

Riley smirked. "Try a little hard, huh?" She perched her lips and nodded, not sure if she really wanted to bring the subject up after so long, but it was her best shot. "I can tell you something that no one knows about except you … and I."

Drake crossed his arms. "Try me."

"Tell me, Drake … what did you say to me after Tariq left my room at Applewood?"

Drake scoffed. "I didn't tell you, shit."

Riley tapped her chin playfully. "Hmm, I think you did. And again in the Beaumont Ballroom when we were arranging the flowers in preparations to host the court."

Drake remained silent, but Maxwell's ears perked up. "What'd you say, Drake?"

Riley raised her brows and motioned for him to answer.

Drake rolled a doctor's stool out and squatted down on it and dragged his feet closer to her. "Listen here! You are not, Riley Brooks. You are just some con-woman who somehow managed to weasel her way into working for her before you murdered her. Now … you're just some has-been, who is about to be blown out of existence. You're going to leave Liam alone, Amanda. He's been through enough already."

"You said, and I quote ... 'The way you look at me sometimes, Brooks, if we're alone together, I'm not sure I'll be able to stop myself from doing something stupid.'"

Maxwell's jaw dropped, and his eyes nearly popped out of his head. "Drake?"

Riley snickered when she noticed the red hot glow on Drake's neck, spread into his face. "My, my, Walker! I thought Olivia was the only one who could get your face that red."

Drake started to say something, then stopped himself. So many thoughts and feelings hit him all at once, and he didn't know what to make of them. What she was trying to assert was impossible, not to mention, absolutely insane. Drake felt like he was having a conversation with Riley. She had the same mannerisms, the same pattern of speech, the same way of annoying him, yet carried no resemblance to her. He stood from the stool and walked out of her room.

Maxwell stared at the closed door that Drake had just exited. He placed one hand on the door handle and let it linger there for a moment before he pulled it open. He paused and glanced over his shoulder. "I found something on the streets in Paris once. It was during the Engagement Tour, and something I really wanted but gave it to Riley instead. We were on the train …'

"...and Bertrand said, no. It was Chance, Maxwell … it was, Chance," 

With his hand still gripped loosely to the door, he turned slightly more to face her with a smile. "Maybe that's what I'm giving you again," Maxwell replied with a wink before he left.

____________

It had been one week exactly since Riley was admitted to the hospital. One week since she came back to this realm of life and found herself in a predicament she hadn't anticipated. Each day, she was questioned by the King's Guards relentlessly, in regards to the poisoning, and each day she continued to tell them she honestly didn't know what happened that night. 

No one had visited, not even Maxwell, who she thought might stop in. Riley knew she had planted the seeds in Liam, Drake and Maxwell's mind, but wasn't sure if she was doing more harm than good. If Amanda was indeed the one who took her life, then she was confident that no amount of evidence she could provide would lift the need for revenge, Liam so desperately craved.

After seven days in the hospital, Riley was released into the custody of the Crown and placed in a cell.

Liam wanted a quick trial, and to end her charade rather quickly. He had spent several sleepless nights contemplating her words, as well as, the one's Drake and Maxwell shared with him during their visit with her. Maxwell was somewhat open to the concept of Riley somehow being present in the body of this woman, while Drake claimed he just didn't know. Neither one of them pressed the issue too hard, both stating it was something he had to figure out on his own. If she was telling the truth, and he doubted highly that she was, he felt as if he would know.

He didn't.

Liam sat in his office, glancing studiously over transcripts of the guard's conversations with Amanda the past several days. Every single discussion was nothing but her telling them she didn't know anything. He had grown tired of what appeared to be her failure to cooperate with this investigation. What struck him the most was her lack of ability to provide them with answers that had nothing to do with her case. Something as simple as her birthdate couldn't be provided, and she didn't even have a response to why she was in the park during her own attack. Doctors assured him the blow to her head was not damaging enough to cause memory loss, but perhaps the emotional trauma was enough for her to want those memories repressed.

Liam's cell pinged, and he read the message from Bastien stating that Amanda had just been placed in one of the palace cells. After directing Bastien to meet him in the interrogation room with her, he gathered the transcripts and put them in a manila folder to take with him.

Riley sat at a small table with Bastien sitting opposite of her. One-by-one, he went over the evidence they had accumulated against Amanda; it wasn't much, but enough to strongly suggest she was the one who poisoned Riley. 

Liam stood in the corner of the room, his arms folded in front of him, listening to her give the same canned non-answers she had been spewing since the beginning. She didn't admit or acknowledge her part in the murder, but astoundingly, did not deny it either. He paced across the floor behind Bastien, listening intently to every word she said, hoping for a hint or clue that could be used against her. The room became cold, and an electrifying chill spread throughout his body as he felt her eyes following his every movement.  He paused for a moment to collect himself and quell the burning ache that for a reason he couldn't explain, awakened in his stomach.

Liam placed his hands on the table between Riley and Bastien and leaned onto them. Beads of sweat collected around his brows, and the pounding in his chest could be heard by everyone in that room. He asked his head guard to stop his questioning and looked directly at the lustrous face of the woman who sat before him. His voice shook lowly as he glowered at her. "You are not my wife."

"Liam." Riley raised her hand to touch his face, but he grabbed her wrist before she made contact.

"I am the King of Cordonia, and you will address me as such!"

She quickly rose to her feet with her wrist still gripped tightly by his grasp. "Look at me, Liam! You know who I am … I can see it on your face!"

Liam clenched his teeth and shirked her arm away from him. "You're right, I know exactly who you are! You're the woman who took my whole world away from me!"

Riley shook her head and waved an arm up and down the length of her body. "Yes! This is the body of the woman who took that away from you, but she's gone, Liam. She's gone!" Riley swallowed hard and tried to steady her nerves. "I heard every word you spoke to me! The blame and anger over leaving you alone. The lingering questions of how I was doing, if I was with your mother, how you would tell Ellie about me …  I heard every damn word you whispered to me every single day and I fought like hell to come back to you … to our daughter! I'm here, Liam!"

"Goddamn, you!!" Liam turned and jerked Bastien's gun from his side holster and placed the tip of its sharp barrel against Riley's temple. "Bastien! Get the fuck out of here now!"

Riley froze where she stood while Bastien questioned frantically, what his boss was doing. 

"I said, get out!" he seethed.

Bastien feared more for Liam's mental state than he did for what he assumed was about to be the execution of the woman who killed his Queen. The King was teetering on the edge again, and he questioned to himself whether Liam was thinking this method of justice through. At that moment, he had received his orders and exited with great hesitation. 

Liam shot a look to Riley, his breathing was erratic, and his hands trembled. "I want your confession now!"

Riley didn't know for certain whether Amanda was guilty; she more than likely was, but seeing Liam like this was more than she could bear. If killing her right now brought him closure … gave him the chance to move on … took just a tiny amount of his pain away,  then she would give him what he wanted.

"I just want you to be happy. It's all I ever wanted. And I can't tell you whether or not Amanda did this, but … I will confess on her behalf anyway."

Liam flipped the safety from the gun and affixed his finger firmly on the trigger. "Any last words?"

Riley clasped her hands over her stomach and put on a brave face. Her teary eyes looked at him resolutely and peace he hadn't expected. This woman was prepared to sacrifice herself for him, and it was quite obvious, she was perfectly content to do so. She smiled softly with a sincere flash of faith and love in her eyes. "I love you, my King. I always have …'

Liam's eyes swelled with a flood of tears as the gun dropped to his side. 

 "And I always will, my love ...  Riley?"

[mirdaniaa]

see the distant flume

While James is celebrating the birth of another bastard, a neglected Meg decides to have a little flirtation of her own.

This is a request from a friend who wanted me to transpose the Catherine x Liam storyline from Reign 1x17. This is set between TSP seasons 1 and 2, before Meg and Alexander have officially met.

Thank you to @itslaurenmae for looking this over and suggesting the title!

read it on ao3 if you wish

Christmas should be a happy occasion, but Meg is far from happy right now.

One of James’s mistresses is pregnant again, and rather than hide her away in a manor far from here, he’s showing off her pregnant belly at court, raising toasts to the unborn bastard and setting his mistress on his knee.

All in front of Meg, who has still not managed to conceive.

It’s not completely her fault. She is eager to be a good and dutiful wife, to bear her husband an heir, but James’s visits to her bed are infrequent at best.

“Isnae your fault, hen,” he’d reassured her. “You’re just...younger than what I’m used to. You still have a child’s body.”

At sixteen, Meg is not a child and does not have a child’s body anymore, but there is some truth to what he says; she is younger than what he’s used to. His youngest mistress is a whole decade older than Meg, and most of them are well into their thirties. He likes experienced women; and Meg, who came to him as a child of thirteen, is far from experienced.

She watches from the edges of the crowd as people surround James and...Elizabeth? Isabel? It’s so hard to keep track of his mistresses, really. Everyone is toasting to the new baby, and Meg is, once again, left to contemplate her own flat belly.

“She’s carrying high,” observes Ellen, one of her ladies-in-waiting. “That must mean it’s a girl.”

“She could be carrying a goat for all I care,” Meg says irritably, handing her goblet to Ellen and walking away from the great hall.

A man, however, falls into step just behind and beside her. “Yer a saucy one, aren’t you?”

“I beg your pardon?” Meg demands, whirling around to look at the impertinent man. She’s never met or even seen him before, but she can tell from his tartan that he is a Stewart. Not that that helps her narrow it down; Edinburgh is overrun with her husband’s kinsmen. He has a shaggy mop of black hair, a black beard trimmed short, dancing brown eyes, and a wide smile. “Saucy?!”

“Don’t be offended,” he says, standing far too close and not making any signs of deference due to a queen. “It’s a good word, ‘saucy.’ It’s sauce that makes food worth eating...and women like you that make life worth living.”

Meg flushes until she’s almost as red as her dress. As a Tudor Princess and Queen of Scotland, she’s been paid many compliments in her time, but none of them have left her feeling as warm as this one. He is blunt, like many Scotsmen, but to be this blunt...

“You are outrageous,” she says, turning to leave, but he grasps her wrist.

“Oh, don’t take yerself away from me, beauty!” he says with the earnestness of a young man courting, still not letting go of her wrist.

“Do you know who I am?!” she demands, wondering if perhaps he is drunk.

“I can guess.” He massages her wrist, and the gesture is so unexpectedly pleasant that she doesn’t stop him. “I’d say yer a lady-in-waiting.”

Meg opens her mouth to correct him--and then stops short. He isn’t saying these things to seek favor with his queen, he’s saying them because he thinks he’s flirting with some noblewoman.

“Yer too well-dressed te be anything else,” he continues, mistaking the surprise on her face. One hand skims down the length of her arm, the other slowly pressing her hand to his chest. “And by yer accent, I’d say you accompanied the queen here from England.”

Meg knows she should put a stop to this now...but she doesn’t want to. All night--for the past three years, really--her husband has made her feel childish and inadequate, not pretty enough to tempt him into bed with her. But here is a man openly flirting with her, not because of her crown, but because he likes what he sees.

So she smiles and says, “You’re right. I do serve the Queen of Scotland.”

“I knew it.” His thumb is massaging her knuckles, and through the thick layers of his clothes, she can feel a well-defined chest. “What do they call you?”

“Meg,” she says without thinking, but luckily, he doesn’t draw the connection; after all, there are many Megs and Margarets at court.

“Meg,” he hums. “I’m Alexander. Do you want te go someplace quieter, Meg? Just te talk,” he adds quickly.

“Just to talk?” she asks skeptically.

“Just te talk,” he confirms.

In the great hall behind her, she can hear James raising another toast to his son. A son Meg cannot give him.

“Alright,” she says to Alexander. “Let’s go someplace and...talk.”

.

They climb the stairs to the easternmost tower; from one of the windows, you can see all of Edinburgh laid out like a little toy city. It’s one of Meg’s favorite sights, but she has a feeling she won’t be doing much sightseeing tonight.

“Ah, I’ve missed this,” Alexander says, looking out at the city.

“You’ve been away?” she asks, wondering if this is why he doesn’t know who she is.

He takes her hands, rubbing them to keep her warm. “Aye, staying with my brother in France. Have you ever been?”

“To France? No.” She doesn’t miss the way Alexander’s hands slowly draw her closer to him. “I hear it’s beautiful.”

“It’s alright,” he says carelessly. “Nothing like Scotland.”

“Really?” she asks, a bit breathless at their proximity.

“Aye,” he hums. “Some think she’s cold and harsh...but she has a beauty that can pierce yer heart.” His hand reaches up to cradle her head, his palm warm against her cheek as his eyes search hers. He’s seeking permission, permission that Meg ought not give.

But why shouldn’t she? James is downstairs openly parading his indiscretions while the whole court celebrates; what harm is there in her kissing a stranger?

So she gives a small nod, and closes her eyes as Alexander leans down to kiss her.

His kiss is surprisingly gentle...at first, anyway. As their arms wind around each other, the kiss deepens, becoming hungrier and less gentle. She wants more, even finds herself moaning with how much she wants. Alexander wants more, too; he presses her against the wall, his hands feeling her through her dress. It feels good, he feels good, and that’s why Meg pulls away.

“I can’t,” she manages to slur, drunk off of desire. “I…”

“I won’t take yer maidenhead,” he murmurs, and she realizes that he thinks she’s a virgin. Beneath his experienced hands, she certainly feels like one. “But there are other things we can do.”

“Like what--” she starts to ask, but Alexander is already bending down, his hands gripping her thighs through her dress and lifting her. She gasps, clutching his shoulders as his hips press against hers. She can feel him even through her bunched up skirts; not completely, but enough. He kisses her neck while his hips begin to rock ever so slightly.

Meg feels as though she’s turned to butter, melting in his arms. He kisses her lips, her cheeks, her jaw, her neck, her collar, even the swell of her breasts, his hips slowly building a rhythm that is driving her mad. She feels as though her skin is too tight, as though she’s climbing towards a peak that never seems quite within her grasp.

“Meg,” Alexander murmurs, his voice so rough it almost sounds like a growl.

It’s his voice that brings her to her peak and over the edge, making her cry out as her hips rock desperately against his. She can feel him rocking back against her with equal desperation, both of them rutting like animals as they chase this feeling.

It’s a long moment later when she lowers herself onto trembling legs, her heart pounding. “I should go,” she says breathlessly, wondering what on earth she’s just done. She starts to head for the door, but Alexander’s hand closes around her wrist again, stopping her with an easy strength.

“I want te see you again,” he says breathlessly, desperately.

She lets out a small, hysterical laugh. “Don’t worry, you will.” And with that, she leaves him, feeling so light that her feet barely touch the steps on her way down.

[gustafsnightangel]

Shattered Lives Ch 20 Pt 1

She woke with a start to Gustaf’s lips kissing the nape of her neck that hovered between arousal and tickle. His scent wrapping itself around her, that comfort and calm she’d missed. Those strong but gentle hands fanning out over her body, his touch always alluring.

“Time to get up and dress for work love.” He murmured, his lips brushing the shell of her ear, the kiss finding that sport just below it that always had the arousal warm through her. “The kids are up and ready, I let you sleep late.” It was the least he could do after keeping her up well past 1 am.

She turned in his arms and looked at him. “What’s the time?” She asked scrubbing her hand over her face to dislodge the last cobwebs of sleep.

“Seven. You have time for a shower, to dress, eat, and go. The kids are ready and if you want I can take them to school in your car and you can go to work in mine if that works better.” He’d do anything to smooth it all over, to take that pain he’d caused her away.

“You... I... I’ll drop them off.” She said slightly taken back.

“You needed sleep before court and I kept you up late last night.” He shrugged and kissed her sweetly.

“Thank you.” She took his face in her hands and pulled him in further for a blazing lip lock.

“Go shower.” His voice husky as he let her go. “And Sildie?” He said as she sat up.

“Yeah?” She turned to look at him as he sat on the end of the bed, those shoulders slightly slumped.

“I should be on my knees kissing your feet for pulling me back from the brink.” He choked, he should be groveling at her feet begging for forgiveness he thought.

She smiled and leaned back to kiss him. “You are my everything Gustaf.” She whispered. “I’ll pull you back from the brink again and again if that’s what you need.”

He nodded. “Thank you.” He breathed and kissed her with all the love he’d buried deep down inside him. He let it out for her, let her see it, feel it.

“Anytime love, you know that. You’ve done the same for me time and time again.” She whispered and had to pull away or she’d be kissing him on an entirely different level and be very late for court.

“Go shower.” He chuckled at her unsteady breathing.

He sat with Brendan while Sildie got ready. The boy was reserved this morning at seeing him here and Gustaf knew he had to make it right between them. This would only escalate if he didn’t come clean today and he didn’t want to be walking on eggshells around the kids either.

“Brendan can we talk this afternoon?” He asked softly and watched the kid carefully. He didn’t want him imploding right before school. “I need to chat with you about some stuff.”

“Am I in trouble?” Brendan asked and his face fell.

“No, I just need a man to man chat with you about something.” No, the kid wasn’t in trouble, he was. He’d let Brendan down, he’d let Sildie down and put her in the crappy position of lying to the kid to save their bond. Why did he let it get that bad he wondered, why had he let Ana get the upper hand? He couldn’t let that happen again.

Liam crawled into Gustaf’s lap and hugged him tightly as Sildie came out of the bedroom. She took his breath away, in a dark navy suit with pale blue pinstripes, a dusty blue silk shirt that when she moved he could see the black lace under it whisper to him seductively. Her hair up in that blasted clip, light makeup, and a beaming smile as Lily wobbled and walked to her for her morning hug. How could he have been so fucking stupid to shut her out, he thought? Push her so far away she had to verbally beat him over the head to get him to talk, to realize that she was nothing like Ana.

“You ok little man?” He asked quietly as the kid stayed attached to him.

He nodded. “Better now you’re back. Don’t go away like that again.” He said and hugged Gustaf tighter.

“I won’t, I promise.” And he wouldn’t, he couldn’t go through that again, the thought of losing all this was unbearable. “Up you hop and let me get some breakfast for Ama.” The kid jumped down and Gustaf headed to the kitchen to cook the pancakes he’d already got a head start on earlier.

“Already done love.” He chuckled as she went to start making the kids lunches as Gustaf cooked.

“You already made their lunches?” Her hand dropped to the bench as the words sunk in, she wasn’t fully awake yet.

“Yeah.” He smiled at her shocked expression. “Eat.” He said handing her a pancake.

She took it and sniffed it before shooting him a smirk as she bit into it. “Thank you for this morning.”

“You needed your minimum six hours. I think I got you five. I’m sorry.” He brushed a knuckle down her cheek before his kiss stole her breath.

“I’m ok, with the extra sleep in I’ll be ok. It’s a shorter day in court and the first section of this hearing should be done at the end of next week if things go the way they’re going, maybe sooner if we get lucky. I’ll be fine.” She took another bite and watched as he cooked. Her man was still hurting but he seemed more relaxed than the past few weeks, and at least he was here, talking to her, engaged not retreating inward.

“What’s your plan for today?” She asked, taking another pancake from the stack. She was a little apprehensive at leaving him alone today after last nights emotional rollercoaster.

“I am going to make plans for our getaway. Do some stuff around the house and then talk to Brendan after school. I have some shit to sort out with him.” He looked at her and saw the slight smile of approval.

“You’re a good man Gustaf.” She kissed him tenderly. “Don’t forget that love.”

“I’m trying to be better.” He murmured, his kiss lingering softly.

“I just want you love.” She smiled as she sipped the tea that had been cooling on the counter. “Just you, as you are.”

“You deserve me to be better, they deserve me to be better.” He stole another kiss before turning back to the pancakes. “I need to be better for them, for you, for myself.”

“Then you will be love. You’re stronger than your demons.” She kissed him and chuckled as the kids did their usual eww and gross.

“Ok, get your stuff kids.” Sildie called and Gustaf found he suddenly didn’t want her to leave. He couldn’t be clingy or needy, they had lives and she had a career, but he wanted her here with him today. To touch, to hold, to mend the rift.

“See you tonight?” She asked and watched him carefully. She was trying to take it slow, give him breathing room, but in all honesty she just wanted things to go back to normal right this instant. It was like walking on eggshells, the pain still clearly reflected in those ocean blue eyes.

“I’ll be here when you get home. Usual time or you working late?” He asked and could see the dark circles under her eyes regardless of makeup. It made his heart ache knowing he was responsible for them.

“Usual time.” She stood on her threshold and rested her hand on his chest. “Call me, text me if you need to today, ok? I’ll have time at lunch.” She didn’t want to leave him like this. She knew all too well the toll of the emotional upheaval took on body and mind. “I’ll check my phone every chance I get.”

“I’ll be ok.” He kissed her sweetly. “But I’ll text you.” He kissed her hard as the elevator dinged.

“I’d like that.” She kissed him quickly and stepped in the elevator. She gave him a smoldering look from under her lashes, heard the thump of his head against the door as he groaned. The slight bite of her bottom lip earning her a wicked smile and a faint “one day love” as the doors closed. He was coming back to her slowly.

She dropped the kids off and headed to the courthouse, thoughts of the case running through her head. She stopped dead in the office they’d been assigned and smiled at the huge bouquet of yellow gerberas and white daisies. The guy moved fast she thought. She set her bag down and plucked the card stuck to the vase.

You mean the world to me love. I’m sorry.

She choked back a sob, his sweetness undid her at the oddest moments. Maybe things were getting back to normal, time, she thought, time would see their world right itself. She sent him a quick text as her client entered the room. Putting her phone on silent she stuffed it into her bag and got down to the business of the day.

He smiled as her text came in.

You are my everything Gustaf. You are enough.

He spent the day cleaning his apartment, cleaning Sildie’s, grocery shopping, which was expensive with four kids he noted. He needed the physical tasks as well as the mental ones today. He’d not felt this fragile in a long time and he didn’t like it, the vulnerability, the fear of losing her, losing himself. The meltdown with Sildie last night had cleansed him further but he felt shattered with little hope of piecing himself back together.

He would though, he’d pull it all together, for himself, for Sildie, for the kids. She would bend, she would listen, she would support, she would be understanding, but she wouldn’t tolerate shitty behavior. He’d been a prick to her these past few weeks and it had been unnecessary. He should have just talked to her, next time he would. He would be better for all of them.

He texted her so she’d know he was ok, he knew, could see, that she was concerned about him this morning, something else he was kicking himself for. He had no right to worry her like that. Put that god awful fear into her, her grief for her brother was bad enough.

He sat at his desk and started to plan their weekend away. He would mend the rift between them, he would say those three little words and be the man she deserved.

He called Alice and she agreed to watch the kids. The girl was amazing and he would make make sure that her Christmas stocking had a substantial bonus. He’d found a secluded cabin in the mountains. He wanted Sildie alone in the snow, naked in front of a fire. He’d make it up to her, with romance, with love, with everything he was.

With all that out the way he tidied up and went to work the bag. It felt different strapping his hands, pulling on the gloves. He smiled at the memory of making love to her on the mat under his bag last night. That gorgeous woman saving him from himself, again.

Even with his first swing he found his head was clearer. Thoughts of Ana flittered in and out but it wasn’t soul destroying like it had been. He’d moved past it, let it go. As fist met bag thoughts of Sildie and their future drifted into his head and made him smile.

His workout had changed from a desperate search for answers, a purge of the poison that was Ana, to being one of intense reflection. A meditation in its own right. Instead of his emotionally charged sessions that resulted in dealing with trauma it became time to hone skills and focus on his future with four kids and the only woman that had ever made him feel completely at ease, loved, a sense of belonging.

“Time.” He breathed and smiled. “Give it time.” That smiled turned to a grin. “I’m going to marry her one day.” He breathed quietly. “Have kids of our own. Well maybe.” That was a huge maybe and he knew it. His body flexed as he worked the remainder of the past few weeks out of his system.

He finished up sweaty, achy, and happy. After he showered he sat to meditate and checked his phone smiling at her text.

The flowers are beautiful.

And so are you my love.

He texted back. He had enough time for a quick meditation before he had to be back in her apartment, he wanted to be there when they all got home, family, together. He breathed deeply and settled letting the quiet of his apartment clear his mind.

Once his emotions were dampened and under control he let the night with Liam bubble up. “You’re the only dad I’ve got left.” He murmured repeating what the kid had said. In the kids mind he probably was.

He blew out a breath at what that statement actually meant. “I’m not replacing you Quinn. That was all Liam.” He said softly. “I promised you I’d take care of them and I will. I’ll do the best I can. Help Sildie, work with her to be the best parent like person to them as I can. But what Liam said was all him. I’m ok if that’s what he wants but just don’t hate me for ok?”

Liam didn’t worry him as much as Brendan. He knew it was going to hurt the teen when he spoke with him tonight. “I fucked up with Brendan and I’ll set it straight. I broke my promise to him, was responsible for Sildie lying to save my sorry ass. She did that to preserve our relationship and I’m in her debt for that but I need to make it right. I’m sorry Quinn, I fucked up and I’m sorry.” He breathed and let the anxiety bubble up and dissipate, the calm following. He needed that calm to talk to Brendan, he couldn’t have a fucking panic attack while trying to apologize to the kid. He knew he had to straighten out that mess, he just had no clue how to go about it, how much to divulge to him. How did he explain that an ex girlfriend got in his head again and fucked with him?

“Just tell it to him straight.” He muttered. “He’s a straight shooter like Sildie. Talk to him like the man he almost is. He deserves your honesty, your respect.” He breathed out. “He’s going to be so fucking angry and disappointed.” He sighed. “And he has every right to be, you fucked up and it upset him. Coming clean will hurt him.” He sat for another fifteen minutes formulating in his head what he was going to say and how he was going to say it. As his alarm sounded he got to his feet and went to collect some clothes before heading to Sildie’s.

He made a pot of tea, sat at the table, and pulled out the leather bound notebook. He smiled at the photos, the pressed daisy in the back and began to write about the good things in his life. Sildie, the kids, his work, his family, little things that made him smile. The way Sildie made him feel as if he was the only man in the world for her. It was so different, this feeling of belonging, of family, their family, or at least the family they were becoming.

He thought about the Christmas present he had started working on for Sildie and the kids and hoped the plan wouldn’t backfire, especially after the past few weeks. Even with the logical and realistic nature of it he was still concerned she’d balk and run in the opposite direction. And if he was being honest and logical, she’d had a perfect opportunity to run like the wind because of his behavior and yet she stayed. She decided to stay, fight for their relationship, fight for him, and she was right, he’d fight for it too. Deep down he’d fight for it, for her, for the kids, he wanted it all. He was reading through a script when he heard the key in the door and the kids outside it laughing.

They came flooding through the open door and he suddenly felt overwhelmed with the amount of love they all carried with them, for each other, for him. Brendan with the high five, the twins with bear hugs, and little Lily who wobbled as she walked to him with a screeching dad dad.

His heart swelled to bursting at her words, and her tiny face lighting up on seeing him. He pulled the little lady into his arms and kissed her until she was giggling. He looked at Sildie, tired and slightly frazzled, the love of his life, that gorgeous woman standing in the doorway smiling yet weighed down. He’d been too caught up in his own head to see it. Weighed down with her own grief, and now with all his shit he’d just dumped on her without a care for her emotional state. He’d been an asshole to her.

They both needed time, this getaway to relax and reconnect, he’d make sure it was perfect. He went to her and lifted the messenger bag off her shoulder onto his, gripped her behind the neck and kissed her like it was his last.

“Hi.” She said breathlessly, her head was still spinning as he let her up for air. The guy could kiss like no other.

“Hi back.” He growled softly, that low rumble that did things to her.

“That’s some welcome home kiss.” Her voice soft but he could hear the tiredness.

“Want another?” His grin was wicked.

“Wouldn’t say no.” She shrugged and bit her bottom lip. He kissed her again and the usual chorus of thats disgusting drifted around the apartment which had them both grinning. “One day love.” He murmured in that low timbre that made her instantly wet.

“Thank you for the flowers.” She said holding them up. “The note made me cry.” She tweaked his nose playfully. “Right before court.” She chuckled and her smile lit up his world.

“Good day then?” He asked, placing her bag on the table and heading to the kitchen to find a vase for the flowers.

“It was ok. The case will adjourn for discovery Tuesday. Vase? Bottom left cupboard.” She said seeing his silent question. “When we resume is anyone’s guess.”

“Keep the weekend of December 6 through 9 open. We leave Friday, back Monday.” He said as he filled the vase and placed the flowers in it all while trying to keep Lily’s hands out of them. “It’s in a couple of weeks. I’ve put it in our calendar.” He would try to keep that updated. He’d also given Daisy access to it so she could change his work schedule when needed.

“Where are we going?” She asked cheekily knowing full well he wouldn’t tell her. He was trying she thought, he was trying so hard to make it right.

“Away.” He growled and kissed her brow. “And that’s all you need to know for now.” He’d say those three little words, with all the love and romance she deserved from him. “Now, I need you to take Lily for a moment. I have to chat with Brendan after I see how much homework he has before I go ruining his evening.” He was nervous, and the anxiety was starting to surface. He knew this could potentially be worse than last night. Their entire relationship was suddenly very fragile and he needed to remember that.

“It’ll be fine love. Be straight with him, he’ll understand.” She kissed him tenderly. “Come here Lily bear lets get dinner started and make our shopping list.” She bundled Lily to her and Gustaf smirked as he walked to Brendan’s room. She’d realize soon enough he’d already beaten her to the punch with groceries.

He tapped on Brendan’s door and waited for the kid to look at him. “Got a moment or are you neck deep in homework?” He asked gently, those long fingers twitching nervously.

“Kinda neck deep.” Brendan said quietly.

“Talk when you’re done?”

“Sure.” The kid hesitated. “You sure I’m not in trouble?” He asked.

“You’re not, but I maybe. Come get me when you’re done?”

“Yeah sure.” The kid was puzzled now but Gustaf wouldn’t keep him thinking he’d done something wrong.

He came back into the kitchen with Sildie tending to dinner, Lily sitting on the counter beside her helping stir and empty pot.

“Don’t think for a moment I didn’t notice you went grocery shopping.” She said irritably. He knew how she felt about him spending money on them.

He snaked an arm around her and held her close, Lily chattering to him. “I’m eating and sleeping here Sildie my turn for groceries. You’ve spent the past month feeding me.” He kissed the nape of her neck and Lily squealed and clapped her hands together. “Please don’t be mad at me for helping out. I’ll buy food for this month, you can do the next month.”

“Fine.” She conceeded, their agreement was food and presents were off limits but he was meeting her half way and she had to suck that up. “It’s just... you know how I feel about it.”

“I know, and I’m trying not to just pay for it all, but I can’t ask you to feed me on top of everything else you have to take care of.” He could have just bullied her into letting him buy the groceries every month as per their agreement but he knew there was a line and he was wasn’t going to cross it, not after last night. “That smells really good.” He said and kissed the spot below her ear. “You smell better.” He growled. Her chuckle was wicked as she turned to face him.

“You’ll just have to cool your jets there love.” She purred and kissed him sinfully.

“Illegal.” He groaned.

“Still gonna do it.” She quipped and turned back to the pan.

“Fuck I hope so.” His tone equally playful.

“Can you clear and set the table?”

“I can, right after I kiss you some more. I’ve missed you.” He murmured and ghosted the nape of her neck with his lips causing her to shiver. His low throaty chuckle making her pussy tingle.

“Go. Set the table.” She laughed as he pulled his hand away from her waist, touching her seductively along the way.

“Come on Lily, come and help. You need to start pulling your weight around here missy.” He said playfully as Lily squealed at him. He set the table and got Lily in her chair before calling the kids for dinner. They sat and ate as a family unit and it felt right he thought. Something for him had clicked into place. Maybe Sildie unleashing on him last night was what he needed. Maybe he’d needed to almost lose this to realize he needed it so much.

The kids cleared the table and Brendan took care of the dishes as it was his turn this week while Sildie started on her reading. With Lily snuggled in his arms he set the kettle onto boil for tea.

“I’m done with homework so when you’re done with tea we can talk if you still need to.” He said to Gustaf a little hesitantly. The kid looked slightly terrified.

“Cool, I’ll get a tea for Sildie and we can chat.” He said quietly. “You’re not in trouble B.” Gustaf found he was incredibly nervous. Maybe that was because he knew this could blow up in his face and fuck up their entire relationship. And not just Brendan, what would Sildie do if things went to shit with the boy? He couldn’t think on that just now, one clusterfuck at a time.

He made the tea and sat it on the table with two cups. Brushing his finger against her cheek he waited until she came back to him from lawyer land.

“Tea steeping for you. I’ll be back in a little while, I’m going to talk with Brendan.” He murmured and squeezed her shoulder as he kissed her hair breathing in her scent to calm him.

He passed Lily to her and the little lady snuggled into her with a mum mum. “You gonna help me little lady?” He heard her say as they went to Brendan’s room and shut the door. Mainly for privacy but he wanted the kid on his turf where he was in control.

“So I’m really not in trouble?” He asked sitting on the bed while Gustaf sat in his desk chair and leaned forward resting his massive frame on his knees with his elbows.

“No you’re not in any trouble B.” He rubbed his hands together and chose his words carefully. “I need to be honest with you about something and would like you to just hear me out fully before you decide to get angry or be upset with me ok?”

“Ok.” The kid agreed, not really sure what else to do.

“I fucked up yesterday with your hockey game.” He said evenly and looked at the kid, eye contact was important. There was no room for error or bullshit with this. He needed to get it out, come clean, and do it calmly which was a mission because he wanted to throw his dinner up the anxiety was so high. “The past few weeks I’ve been going through some emotional shit. An ex girlfriend of mine messed me up and I’ve been trying, and failing, to get that sorted out and move past it for Sildie, and for all of you. It beat me up pretty good and I completely forgot I had promised you I’d be there at your game and to bring you home. My mind hasn’t really been focused on anything outside of what I’ve been dealing with.”

He breathed out carefully finding the calm and burying the emotion from last night. “I only remembered when Sildie came over to my apartment last night and ripped into me. She told me how you’d called her in tears because you thought something had happened to me and for that I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am that I put you through it. I feel like shit for it B. She also told me that you had a shutout and was devastated I wasn’t there to see it and I’m sorry for that too.”

He paused and chose his next words with care and tact. “Sildie also told me that she lied to you, told you I was in the stands and I’d just forgotten to pick you up. Now before you get angry at her for lying to you please let me explain why.” He said quickly, seeing the flash of anger bristle in the kid. “She lied to protect you and also to protect the bond that you and I are still working on, still forming. She didn’t want to see you hurting and if you want to be angry at her for that it’s misdirected. I’m the one that fucked up Brendan. If you need to be angry at anyone it should be me, I’m the one who put her in that position.”

“I can’t turn back time to make it right. I can only ask that you accept my apology and I’ll do whatever it takes to make it up to you. I broke my promise to you and that was a shitty move on my part. I’m sorry, there aren’t enough words to tell you how sorry I am. I’d really like another chance to try again at being the bigger brother you deserve.” He let out a slow steady breath and waited, he could see the kid was chewing over his words, the anger settling with his explanation. So much like Sildie he thought and probably so much like his father.

“I knew there was something going on with you.” Brendan said softly. “Something had changed, you weren’t your usual goofy self.” His huffed chuckle set Gustaf at ease. “Ama was really mad yesterday.”

“Oh believe me kid, I know exactly how mad. She had every right to say what she said last night and kick my ass to the curb and back again.” He said and looked at the teen. “I hurt her B and I promised I wouldn’t. I’m doing everything I can to make it up to her.”

“Did you sleep with your ex?” The teen asked not really sure if he should be asking but he knew of dads that did and he didn’t like the thought of his aunt being hurt like that.

“No. I haven’t seen my ex in over a year and god willing never will. I would never cheat on Sildie. I’ve been cheated on B, know how that feels and I don’t want to ever do that to someone I love. My actions hurt her enough, I shut her out, didn’t talk to her about what was upsetting me. It all goes back to the emotional crap my ex put me through and that’s no excuse for being a complete prick to her.” He saw the kid nod as if he were connecting the dots.

“I was scared something had happened to you, like mum and dad.” His voice was quiet as a mouse.

“I’m sorry B, I never meant to freak you out like that and I can’t begin to explain how shitty I feel about it.” He did, the kids grief was bad enough he didn’t need that on top of it.

“I’ve lost my dad, I can’t lose you too.” His voice choked but he didn’t break. “You’re the only dad we have now.”

His words hit Gustaf like a brick to the side of the head making a sob catch in his throat. First Liam now Brendan he thought, the kids had been talking. “You know I love you guys like you’re my own.” He smiled and let the tears fall with a huffed laugh. “I’m still learning all this stuff B, I don’t know if I can be half the man your father was.”

“You can’t.” He said simply, shaking his head looking at Gustaf. “Because you’re not him. You’re you.” He smiled. “We love you, just as you are, the goofier the better.” He smirked as Gustaf looked at the kid a little dumbstruck.

“Are you and Ama ok?” He asked as his fingers fidgeted in his lap.

“We will be. I’m not proud of it Brendan, I hurt her and fuck I...” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “I never wanted this part of my life to touch her, to touch you guys.”

“You’re not splitting up are you?” The teen held his breath, Gustaf could see it.

“No.” He shook his head and the kid sprung off the bed and hugged him tightly.

“Good.” He sniffed. Gustaf closed his eyes and hugged him. The teen had been worried they would split and he wouldn’t be in their lives anymore. He let the quiet sigh of relief out as the kid let go.

“No were not splitting up. I can’t lose her.” He said as the kid sat back down. “I can’t lose her because I think it would actually kill me. I’m a wreck without her Brendan.”

“She’s been really upset and stressed. Especially when you weren’t sleepinghere. I could hear her crying at night.” He said softly. “Don’t tell her I told you though. She’ll be mad.”

“What we say in here is just between us.” Gustaf said and the teen nodded in understanding. “Are we ok Brendan? You and me?” He asked gently, fully prepared for the kid to tell him to fuck off.

“Yeah we’re ok. On one condition though.” He said and Gustaf could see that same steel that Sildie had in her last night creep into the kid. “Don’t make her cry like that again.”

Gustaf was proud of him. It took balls to say that to an adult in that tone. A tone that clearly said don’t fuck with her.

“I have no intention of making her cry ever again unless it’s happy tears. I really fucked up Brendan and I know my promises don’t mean shit to you right now but I promise you I’ll make it up to her. Let me make it better?” Gustaf held his breath, this would make or break them.

He nodded and seemed to relax. “I just don’t want to see her hurt again.” He said softly.

“Me either B.” Gustaf breathed out gently. “We ok?”

“Yeah.” The kid smiled and Gustaf could feel the tension leave the room. “Can you come next week?” Brendan asked hesitantly.

“I’ll check my calendar but if I’m open, I’m there.” He said gently. “Work trip coming up.”

“Ok.” His smile beamed. “If you can’t I get it.”

“I’ll certainly try though. Thanks for hearing me out.” Gustaf said honestly. He feared there would be more anger and tears from the kid toward him.

“Thanks for being straight with me.” He shot back.

“You are more like Sildie than you think.” He chuckled. “And I would assume more like your dad considering they were twins.”

“I guess.” He shrugged with a smile.

“Homework done?” He asked heading for the door.

“Yeah I’m gonna take a shower and curl up to finish my book.”

“Good plan.” He nodded. “Night B and thanks.”

“Night and no problem.” He grinned.

Gustaf came out to see Sildie busy taking notes and her tea still sitting there, probably stone cold by now, he thought with a smile. He stood behind her, rested his hands on her shoulders gently and kissed her head breathing in that scent that made his world function right side up. He felt the tears prickle his eyes, tears of relief more than anything else.

“You ok love?” She asked as she continued to write.

“You talked to him didn’t you?” He murmured into her hair as he got his emotions under control and massaged the rocks that had taken up residence in her shoulders.

“Yes.” She said gently, as he kissed her head and sat down to look at her. “I didn’t do it for you.” Her eyes came up off her paper to lock onto his over the top of her reading glasses. “I did it for him. He needs you Gustaf and I couldn’t have that fragile bond broken and in turn break that kids heart, again. Breaking it was bad enough the first time around with his parents.” She could see her words had made their point. He’d done the right thing, it was time to move on. “Everything go ok?”

He nodded. “Yeah.” He scrubbed a hand over his face and drank his cold tea. He hadn’t thought about the repercussions of shutting her out, they spread further than he’d realized. “What did you say to him?”

“I told him you were going through some grief of your own, different to ours but grief all the same. I asked him to hear you out and to think about everything you said before getting upset or angry. I basically asked him to keep and open mind and not be judgmental. We all grieve differently, for different things.”

“I guess I owe you for that one too.” He said quietly. How was he ever going to make this right he wondered?

“No, you just paid in full. You righted the wrong and it’s done. We don’t hang past deeds over peoples heads for leverage in this house. Never have and we’re not about to start that bullshit now.” She knew where his mind was going and had read in the few pages of his notebook that Ana had done exactly that. He looked at her and saw the lawyer sitting before him, and she was scary as fuck when she pulled it out.

“Thank you.” He murmured and brushed a knuckle against her hand as she started writing.

She hooked her finger in his. “It’s done now love. We move on, we move forward, we move past this.” She tugged his fingers for him to move closer to her, he was still so fragile. Those fingers gripped his chin gently and his eyes looked into hers. “Together, you and me.” Her voice gentle. She kissed him, that loving kiss that filled his soul.

“I know.” He whispered as she got back to work with a smile. “Can I sit here with you and read?”

“Of course.” She said absently.

“Lily go down ok?” He asked softly.

“She did. A few dad dads later.” She smirked and he smiled to himself as he went to make a fresh pot of tea.

She was stronger than she gave herself credit for and took no shit either, he thought as he watched her from the kitchen. He was grateful that she was a straight shooter, called it how she saw it. It was what captured his mind the first time they really spoke over their Friday tea dates. Maybe it was time they started having those tea dates again he mused. They were the reason they’d become so close in the beginning, it might help to bring them closer together again and heal the wound he’d inflicted on her.

With a fresh, hot, pot of tea he sat with her and read his script. He absently poured her a cup, chewing over the characters and plot line in his head. Brushing a finger against her pen arm she eventually stilled and came up for air.

“Fresh tea, drink love.” He said still reading, a slight smirk tugging those talented lips.

She looked at him, then the tea and smiled. He was so good to her. She would have been in lawyer land until she fell asleep mid sentence had he not pulled her back to reality every now and then. She sipped her tea and watched him over the rim of her teacup.

He was fragile, she could see it just below the surface, a brittleness that’s threatened to shatter him if she pushed. The past few weeks had torn him apart and he was struggling to pick up those pieces. Maybe it was a good thing they were having a few days away together to reconnect. He would heal though, she’d see to it, tend him like he’d done for her. She she would stitch that kind generous heart back together a kiss at a time.

She tidied her work and stacked it at the end of the table for the morning. She really did need an office but Lily needed a bedroom before that. After Christmas she’d have enough saved to section off part of the living area into a small bedroom. Time, she thought, all in good time.

With her tea half finished she got up and took the teapot over to rinse out for the morning. He was still lost in his script when she let her hands rest on his shoulders and drift over his chest. She kissed his temple and waited. That hand soon left the paper and rested over hers.

“I’m done for the night.” She whispered. “My brain is over lawyered and I need sleep.” She kissed him again.

“Go shower I’ll be there in a minute, I want to finish this scene.” His hand snaked around her neck and he craned his head back to kiss her sweetly. “Then I’ll come snuggle with you.”

“See that you do.” She kissed him, that sinful promise on her lips.

“Illegal.” He choked with a grin.

“I think I can swindle a deal to get us out of trouble.” She smirked and headed for a shower. “Or into more depending.” He watched her walk to her room, those hips sashaying, her curves beckoning. He felt his cock twitch and groaned softly.

He finished his scene, made his notes, and tidied his work up at the end of the table with Sildies. He smiled at their bags nestled together and felt his heart flutter, normal, their normal. He checked the front door was locked and turned the lights off before pulling a daisy from the vase and bringing it with him.

He found her naked and barely covered by the bedsheet. Those curves enticing him. He placed the flower on the bed and stripped. Twirling the daisy between his fingers so it spun he grinned and climbed in beside her kissing her shoulder. He trailed the petals down her side and watched as her body shivered.

She was squirming by the time he brushed it over her hip. “That’s tickles.” She giggled quietly.

“Does it now?” He kissed her neck and nipped her jaw as she rolled slightly to look at him.

“Yes.” She breathed out as he gently bit down on the spot below her ear.

He lazily stroked her body with the flower, kissing a trail lightly over spots he knew made her lose control. He left her comfortable on her side as he dipped lower and lower with each pass of the petals over her curves.

Gently he straddled her lower leg and rested the other on his hip. He tormented her inner thighs with flower and finger, and groaned as he brushed her heat finding her soaked for him. He gripped her by the ankle and brought it up to rest on his shoulder opening her wide. His fingers destroyed her system as they caressed the length of her leg, lips kissing her calf.

Her hand gripped his thigh as he took hold of her ass and hip gently pulling her to him. She could feel his cock pressed against her entrance, the hardness and heat causing her to softly whimper for him. She’d never been taken in this position and knew the change in angle would likely send her over the edge quickly.

He toyed with her, brushing his engorged head over her clit, circling it around her entrance. She whimpered into the pillow as he slid his tip in and rested there. No words were needed, the pleasure was written all over her body, hands already fisting in sheet and pillow.

With a slow thrust he inched inside her, his hands pulling her onto his cock until he bottomed out.

“Sildie.” He breathed, as he sheathed himself deeply.

Her fingers dug into his thigh as he found that slow torturous rhythm. He felt like he’d stretched her beyond anything she’d ever felt before, his girth erotically destroying her. That thickness and length caressing every secret spot inside her.

He watched as she fell apart at his touch, gave herself to him, to the pleasure. Her body trembling deliciously as he thrust harder. Her muffled whimper into the pillow made him smile as he slipped a finger over her clit and felt her tense, her fingers digging into his thigh as she fought to control her climax.

With a cry her body spasmed, shaking and writhing as his cock continued it pleasurable assault as she came. Leaning forward slightly on his knees he quickened his pace, hips pistoning.

“Gustaf.” She whimpered as her second orgasm crested so quickly her body shook violently, hands frantic as the euphoria took her. It crashed through her and his groan only made her third build quicker.

He looked down at her as he took her. Curves trembling, hands scrambling for purchase, body writhing. The feel of her tight pussy squeezing him, pulsing around him had his release crest. He felt her tense, the soft cry and whisper as she begged him to tip her over the edge.

“Go over love, take me with you.” He growled gently.

His fingers gripped her and flicked her clit, destroying her system with an overload of stimuli. She screamed into the pillow as she shattered around him. Her pussy clamped down on his cock hard and he erupted. He pounded into her, enjoying her tightness, drawing out their pleasure.

Slowing to a stop, panting hard, his release making him see stars, he pulled out of her gently and eased her leg down massaging her hip. He lay beside her and spooned her as their heart rates came down from the high.

“Now you’ll sleep well.” He snickered playfully.

“No doubt.” Her giggle equally mischievous. She rolled over in his arms and kissed him. “That was some position.”

“You like that one?” He kissed her, tongue teasing, tasting.

“I do. I like all of them but that might be a new favorite.” She grinned.

“I’ll remember that.” He murmured and kissed her sweetly.

“I do have to sleep now though.” Her pout made him groan before he kissed her roughly. She filed that reaction away for later, she was learning what made him tick, what could possibly make him lose control.

“Yes you do. Court tomorrow, you need to be sharp.” He couldn’t keep her up any later tonight, not after yesterday.

“You doing ok?” She asked gently, her finger trailing his scruff as she snuggled against him.

“I’m doing better. Still have some shit to sort out but it’s not as bad.” He kissed her with that love he had buried deep. “You’re the light in my darkness Sildie, you burn so brightly love.”

“And you’re mine.” Her kiss was long and sweet.

“Sleep now. Don’t want my lawyer all grumpy and not at her best.” He curled her in and brushed the flower petals against her cheek which made her laugh softly.

“They smell pretty.” She sighed.

“So do you love.” Kissing her head he lay the flower on the nightstand and breathed her in.

He felt her drift and then plummet into sleep, her entire body going lax almost instantly. He smiled and kissed her head as he lay there thinking. Things were better and would continue to get better, he’d work on it. He would do better for her, for the kids.

“You’re my home.” He whispered.

***********************************************

@hausofobsession @ill-skillsgard @grandpa-sweaters @authentic90skidd @tuckersgirl @fairlyfallacy @flowers-in-your-hayr @raewritesfiction @stinkerbelle007 @kamie-b @mrsaugustwalker @skrsgardspam

[navykangaroo59]

Crushes

Wolfstar (Sirius Black x Remus Lupin)

Word count: 4k

Warnings: no warnings apply :)

Summary: Remus Lupin didn’t ‘do’ crushes. He could count the number of people he’d ever fancied in his 19 years of life on one hand. That is, until university comes around.

Notes:

Hey so I wrote this in a day and read through it a few times, but that's it, so if there's mistakes I apologise.

In my mind, I've basically plonked the main characters into a University setting, and added new characters who aren't in the canon. Just the main ones. Cool.

Also there's lots of flashbacks in this, so I've tried to differentiate with ---, but if it's confusing let me know!

Scroll down to read :))

Remus Lupin didn’t ‘do’ crushes.

He could count the number of people he’d ever fancied in his 19 years of life on one hand.

Of course, he thought when he’d officially declared himself “Not Entirely StraightTM” it would all start to make sense: he’d be instantly attracted to people and understand what all his mates would go on about, waxing lyrical about their newest crush and how perfect they were. James said he instantly knew Lily was ‘The One’ (James’ words, not Remus’) when he first laid eyes on her, and Remus could not for the life of him understand it.

--- “… and then she turned around me and asked for a pen! Me, guys! SHE approached ME! Why is nobody as excited about this as I am???” ---

James had first seen Lily when he was round at Remus’. She’d walked into the kitchen, and James had gone completely slack-jawed. Remus introduced them. “Oh yeah, James, this is my flatmate, Lily.”

James had just stared.

Remus elbowed him in the side. “What the f-. Right. Yeah. Hi. James. Lily. Hi Lily. James.”

Lily gave a confused smile, before going back to the kettle.

When she’d left, James turned to Remus. “Dude. She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

--- Sirius chuckled and slung an arm over his best mate’s shoulders. “Nah mate, we’re all over the moon for you – right guys?”

“Yeah, but I hate to see you if she ever says yes to going out with you. We’d have to give you CPR.” Remus replied drily. Sirius barked back a laugh and beamed at Remus; Remus ignored the warm feeling in his stomach. ---

The first time he’d fancied someone, he was 7 years old. Rebecca was clever, he remembered that much, and she had long hair that she wore in a single braid down the back of her head. He remembered always wanting to make her laugh and feeling so special when they were in the same group for reading. But, because he was 7 and a literal child, nothing happened. They grew apart, went to different secondary schools. They were friends on Facebook, and that was about it.

--- “Guys can you please shut up? I’m trying to get this done for half 1!” Peter was frantically typing God-knows-what on his laptop, looking slightly manic behind the eyes.

Sirius arched an eyebrow and showed him his watch. “Uh, mate, you know it’s now 2, right?”

“Ah fuck’s sake I’m gonna miss my fucking seminar fuck, fuck, fuck.” Peter quickly shoved his laptop away and ran out of the café, before turning back and grabbing his jacket from the back of the chair. “See you guys later!” He called, causing a few people around them to turn their heads and tut. The others chuckled at their hopeless friend, and James started talking to Sirius about some football match or something. Remus took another sip of his tea.

---

The second time he’d liked someone, he was 14. He remembered desperately wanting to be friends with the new boy, because he was cool and clever and sarcastic and tall, and Remus liked how his hair flopped over his glasses. Remus liked him because he was unapologetically himself – he had a confidence to like what he liked without fear of ridicule. Remus wasn’t used to that. Like most teenagers, he was desperately self-conscious: tall, lanky and covered with scars from constant surgeries while growing up. Looking back, it’s clear that Remus clearly fancied Liam, but at the time he’d thought it was nothing more than a friend-crush. But they were 14, and Remus didn’t know he could like the same gender, so nothing happened.

--- “Remus?” Sirius asked, rudely forcing Remus out of his daydream.

“Hm?”

Sirius gave him an affectionate chuckle. “I said, are you doing anything tonight?”

“Oh. Nah, not really. I have some reading that needs doing before Monday, so I might head to the library when you guys head out.”

“Oh, Remus how we could all aspire to be you…”

Remus rolled his eyes.

“Anyway, I ask because we’re having a party at our flat tonight, and you’re coming.” Sirius beamed. 

Remus sighed. He wasn’t a huge fan of parties – too many people in too small a space – but he knew his friends loved them. For them, it was an excuse to drink and socialise, but he always ended up the one looking after James or Peter when they drank too much. 

Sirius smiled at him again. Remus could never resist that smile. “Fine.”

“Also, if you wanted to bring Lily that would also be very cool and very good…” James trailed off, looking down at his coffee. He knew that if James wasn’t hosting this party tonight, he’d be begging to come round to Remus’ in the off chance that Lily would briefly be in the kitchen when cooking dinner.

Remus couldn’t help but laugh. “Sure man, I’ll message the group chat – maybe Dorcas might want to come too?”

Sirius nodded his head and beamed at him. “Sure, more the merrier!”

---

Crush number 3: he was 17. Ana was funny and clever, and they’d bonded over their love of reading and their sarcastic sense of humour. They’d messaged every day while Remus was staying with his grandparents in Wales, and every day when she was on holiday in Spain. But they spent a long time apart, and Remus hadn’t been able to muster up the same feelings after a while. He broke it off with her after he got home. He did it over message. He wasn’t proud of that.

--- Sirius downed the last of his coffee, and with a dramatic flourish he stood up and shrugged his jacket on. “Ok lads, I have to go and argue with some absolute pricks. I will see you-” he winked at Remus, causing the other boy to go sightly pink, “-tonight.”

“It’s gonna be so good! And please remember to ask Lily?” James looked at Remus hopefully, warranting a quiet snort: “Yeah of course mate. No promises she’ll agree to come though.”

James shook his head, ever the optimist. “Cheers!” He ran out of the door after Sirius. ---

He’d started university in September last year, being put in halls with 5 other complete strangers. He’d taken a shine to one of them: a boy from Aberdeen. The entire flat had sat round the kitchen table, drinking and getting to know each other, but something about this boy caught Remus’ eye. He was tall, well-built, with dirty blonde hair he constantly styled away from his face, and a gentle Scottish accent. He was sarcastic, and funny, and Remus fell hard. The two flirted with each other constantly, becoming extremely tactile without even realising it. They stayed up until the early morning hours, just talking, one leaning on the other. They talked about previous crushes, and things that had shaped them as human beings. Remus thought he’d found his match.

One night, they were sat in the kitchen, the only two still awake, as per usual. Remus was leaning on Henry’s chest while they lay on the sofa, enjoying the quiet, and talking about anything that came to their minds. Remus was clutched with a sudden confidence. He turned his head, and kissed Henry on the cheek. Henry returned by pressing himself onto Remus’ lips: that was his first kiss.

--- Remus, still sipping his tea, struggled to suppress a shudder as he thought about how the relationship turned out. He took out a book and tried to become as engrossed as he normally did, but his brain wouldn’t stop the thoughts from flowing.

---

Nothing much happened after they kissed. Things went back to normal, except now Remus couldn’t stop his heart lurching whenever Henry entered the room. He wanted to be where the other boy was at all times.

One night, when the flat were watching a film, Henry and Remus were sharing a sofa and blanket. Halfway through, Remus felt Henry’s hand slowly wander to his inner thigh. He felt his phone buzz:

After the film, meet me in my room.

They kept that up for the next few months. Always at night, after everyone was asleep. It was established that this relationship was secret – they were friends with benefits, nothing more. They’d spend hours fooling around, eventually falling asleep next to each other, but Remus was never able to sleep. To be only friends with benefits killed Remus inside. He kept up with it because he couldn’t separate his feelings: he really liked Henry. He didn’t want this to stop.

Then Henry met a girl. As soon as he told Remus, Remus thought he was going to be sick. “It’s fine Remus! We can stop whatever thing we have. No feelings – clean break. Right?”

“Sure.” He’d said.

Remus wasn’t the same after that. He couldn’t eat; he felt constantly nauseous. He skipped lectures, he skipped going out with his friends. It was worse when Henry brought the girl to the flat. Remus would walk into the kitchen, see them making out on the sofa, and want to be sick or cry or scream, before running straight back to his room again.

Most of his flat didn’t notice his change in character, but nothing got past Lily. Lily was Remus’ closest friend, and the first friend he made at uni. One night, after he hadn’t eaten anything all day, Lily forced him to tell her everything. So, he did. And she didn’t judge. And for that he was incredibly grateful. She helped him get better.

He was grateful for his other friends too, although he didn’t confide in them as much as he did Lily. James and Sirius knew each other from secondary school, but it took a while for Remus and Sirius to meet. He’d met James from getting lost on the first day of uni, when both he and James arrived at the same room for completely different lectures. Turns out, James was in the next building – for a Geography student, James was so bad with directions – but they quickly became friends.

Crush number 5 started about a year ago: just before Summer break. James invited Remus (and, naturally, Lily) to a huge end-of-year party at his studio flat. Remus had been debriefed about James’ other two friends: “You’ll know which one’s Sirius and which one’s Peter: just look for the one that has to have a stupid name like Sirius Black.”

When they’d arrived, Remus’ first thought was that James was right. You instantly know which one is Sirius Black. His hair was raven-black (because of course it was), perfectly tousled, and in a bun that had the audacity not to look ridiculous. High cheekbones, sharp jawline, stormy grey eyes. You’d never be able to tell that this man and Remus were the same age: Remus with his second-hand jumpers and converse, compared to this Greek God of a human in his leather jacket and perfectly battered Doc Martins. Yeah, Remus guessed this was a man called Sirius Black.

He accidentally caught Sirius’ eye, and quickly looked away.

“Hey Sirius! Come meet my friends!” James hollered, and Sirius lifted an eyebrow. He wandered over, giving Remus and Lily and big grin. “Why, hello.”

After being introduced to Sirius and Peter, James quickly cornered Lily in a conversation, and Remus was left alone. He took a cider from the table, keen to avoid whatever drinking game was going on, and went to look for somewhere quiet. He ended up out on the balcony, enjoying the summer air and the bit of peace and quiet.

He was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t notice the glass door slide open and close behind him. “What’cha thinking about?”

Remus looked up, startled. Sirius stood next to him, 2 cider bottles hanging loosely from his fingers, gentle smile on his lips.

“Oh, nothing much. Just needed some air – there’s so many people in there.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean.”

They collapsed into a comfortable silence for a bit, looking out on to the roads below. Sirius offered the second cider bottle to Remus, who took it.

“You know, I’m annoyed I didn’t meet you sooner.” Sirius mused, bringing the bottle to his lips.

Remus was taken aback. “What do you mean?”

“James always talks about you – he’s really glad he met you. And any friend of James’ is a friend of mine: he’s practically my brother.”

Remus felt warm – he was glad he’d found James as a friend too. He was so worried about being an outcast, or a loner, or not being able to find anybody, then James had been a friend, and Lily had been there for him, and he finally felt wanted.

“Yeah, I’m glad I met him too. Although it doesn’t help that his main reason for coming round is to ogle at my flatmate…”

Sirius chuckled to himself. “I’m actually very excited to meet the infamous Lily who keeps shutting down his advances – I’ve not seen it happen yet, but it always sounds hilarious.”

Remus laughed. “You’re definitely missing out. I could write a book called ‘How Not to Ask Out a Girl: A Guide by James Potter’ from all the attempts I’ve seen.”

Sirius had a hearty laugh: the kind of laugh that didn’t care who heard it. 

They took another swig of their drinks. “You know, when James wasn’t allowed round yours earlier this year, I thought he was gonna lose his mind. It was kinda funny to see him pace the fucking walls like a trapped wild cat because he couldn’t see his friend or the ‘girl of his dreams’”. He used air quotes and gave a small laugh.

Remus instantly felt guilty. Truthfully, he hadn’t thought of the effect his low mental state would have had on James. He just assumed he would be fine with his other friends, but it seemed Remus’ friendship meant as much to James as James’ did to him.

“Ah shit, I’ve never actually apologised to James for that.”

“Apologise? Why would you apologise?”

Remus finished off his cider. “I wasn’t actually ill. Or rather, I was, but it wasn’t flu. I was in a bad way, but I didn’t tell anyone other than Lily. I don’t know, I didn’t want to scare James away with my mental health issues.” Remus gave a small nervous laugh, but Sirius looked at him intently.

“Do you mind me asking what happened?”

“Shit. No. It’s nothing. I’m sorry for bringing it up. You wouldn’t care. It’s nothing big, I promise.” Remus backtracked. He wasn’t about to offload his problems on to this – albeit gorgeous – complete stranger.

Sirius sighed. “That’s ok. You don’t have to talk to me. You have only just met me.” He gave a hopeful smile. “But I’m hoping we can become good friends?”

Remus blushed slightly, then coughed awkwardly. “I want another drink – any requests?”

Sirius laughed. “I’ve got a bottle of vodka in my room, I’ll grab it.” He walked towards the doors, then paused. “You can come with, if you want? It’s a lot warmer inside than out here.”

Remus blushed further. Before he realised it, he felt his head nodding, and his feet were following Sirius back into the party. Sirius immediately got pulled into a conversation - some argument between Pete and a girl Remus didn’t recognise - and Remus stood awkwardly on the sidelines, sipping his drink.

Eventually James called another round of beer pong, and Sirius was able to pull Remus away while most people were distracted. They left the main room, to the sounds of “Oh my god Potter you are going DOWN” as Lily versed James. Sirius laughed, and Remus tried to ignore the warm feeling of Sirius’ hand through his sleeve, and how his arm buzzed from where Sirius had grabbed him.

Sirius ushered them in, quickly closing the door and locking it behind him. “Sorry if this looks a bit suspicious – I just don’t like people I don’t know coming in my room looking for the bathroom. I promise you I’m not going to kill you.”

“That’s good to know, thank you.” Remus said drily, trying to ignore the situation he found himself in. Locked in a room with a very attractive man who he was clearly into. “Anyway, where’s this vodka then?”

Sirius grinned and reached to the back of the top of his wardrobe. His t-shirt hitched slightly, exposing his flesh, and Remus tried not to stare. He shook himself out of it, before smiling gratefully as he received the bottle from Sirius. He took a small swig and immediately shuddered. “That taste never gets better.” He pulled a face, handing the bottle back. Sirius laughed. He knocked his head back and drank some of the clear liquid. Unlike Remus, he had little reaction.

They spent the next hour or so in that room, passing the bottle back and forth. They sat in silence, until Remus, quite clearly drunk, announced, “You know, I’m so happy I found friends here. You’re my friend now.”

Sirius, not quite as drunk as Remus, grinned. “I’m glad to hear that.”

“Yes. And James is my friend. But I am a bad friend. Because I didn’t tell him that I wasn’t feeling good before.”

Sirius stayed quiet, but slowly put the bottle on the floor.

Remus kept talking: “I really liked this guy. He was amazing. We had the same sense of humour and he was attractive, and he found me attractive, which is really something rare.” Remus looked so earnest and gestured down at himself.

Sirius muttered under his breath. “You can’t believe that.”

Remus didn’t hear him. “And he flirted with me. And I thought we had a connection. But it turns out he didn’t like me back. He just wanted a mouth and an arse, and he would’ve taken any other person who had that too. He wanted friends with benefits, but I didn’t.” Remus went silent for a little bit. “I don’t want to be just a mouth and an arse, Sirius!” Horrifically, Remus’ eyes filled with tears. He was mortified. He was drunk, but he still didn’t want to cry in front of his new friend.

“Oh, Remus.” Sirius moved up the bed and hugged him tight.

“What if I can’t find anyone else Sirius? What if I’m destined to be nothing but a mouth and an arse for the next person? I really liked him! Now he’s with someone else! And he just threw me aside like I was nothing!”

Sirius rubbed comforting circles on Remus’ back while Remus sobbed into his shoulder.

“That really sucks, I’m sorry Remus. Why didn’t you tell James?”

“I was scared,” he hiccuped. “Sc-scared of being judged.”

Sirius took Remus firmly by the shoulders. “Remus - you should never be afraid of being judged. James adores you, and I think you’re amazing. I’m so glad I met you tonight - so you’re a part of our group now.”

Annoyingly, Remus burst into tears again. “I’ve never been part of a group before.”

The two of them sat there for a while, Sirius rubbing circles on Remus’ back, while Remus sobbed, finally coming to terms with how he was feeling about the entire situation. Sirius being so caring about someone who he knew so little about was enough to make Remus fall again.

 --- They arrived at La Casa de James y Sirius (it was James who named it, trying to get Lily to be impressed with him) at about half 9, holding a box of ciders. James enthusiastically opened the door to them, yelling his welcome and not being able to take his eyes off Lily for the entire time he was leading them into the party. Lily immediately went off to dance with James (secretly Remus thought she was beginning to like him).

He grabbed himself a drink and plonked himself down on the sofa, people-watching. He recognised a few people here: people from Sirius’ football practise, people from James’ course that he’d met at different parties, girls who seemed to have a sixth sense to follow Sirius wherever he went…

Sirius. He couldn’t see him.

Normally he’d be chatting up every living thing in the room – including Remus, but he knew that was just a joke. Sirius was always joking. Of course he was, they were best friends. But that didn’t help Remus’ poor heart.

Suddenly there was a large shout. “Truth or dare everyone! Everyone, sit down at the sofas and bring your drink!” Remus didn’t have time to move before numerous people were sitting down around him. He looked up and saw Sirius whispering conspiratorially with Lily, before barging through and plonking himself down on the arm of the chair next to Remus. “I’m so glad you could make it.” He winked at him.

“Sirius, there isn’t enough room on the arm of the chair for your arse - find somewhere else to sit.” Remus tutted, mainly because he was conscious that Sirius would slowly slide down and their legs would be touching, and he wouldn’t be able to think straight if that happened.

“Oh, what was that about my arse, Rem? But, I thank you for offering your lap as a substitute.” Sirius smirked, then plonked himself half on Remus and half on the arm of the chair, arm reaching round Remus’ shoulders. Remus’ heart skipped a beat. This is normal. Friends are touchy-feely. This happens all the time. He thought to himself. But he couldn’t stop his pulse racing a little faster than normal.

Lily raised an eyebrow at the display but said nothing. Remus had told her how he felt about Sirius a while back, but refused to act on it, and Lily found that infuriating. “At least I know where Potter stands with me – you should just tell him!”

“No, Lils, he’s my best friend. I’m not going to lose him.”

 James laughed at the two of them and began. “Ok! You pick truth or dare. Drink if you don’t answer the truth or do the dare. Easy. I’ll go first. Dare.” Sirius called out a suggestion. “Do a headstand!”

James grinned. “Gladly.” Obviously just eager to show off to Lily, he went to the wall and did something that somewhat resembled a headstand. Lily shook her head affectionately.

James came back to the circle, flushed red and hair tousled. “Ok I’m gonna choose…. Remus! Truth or dare!”

Oh, God. “Uh, truth, please.”

“Who’s the hottest boy here?”

Remus’ heart sped up. He decided to make a joke out of it. “I was gonna say James, but considering Sirius is within battering distance and I don’t fancy being slapped tonight, I’m gonna say him.”

Sirius laughed. “Oh, Remus, you’re too kind.” He brought his head down to Remus’ ear, his warm breath sending shivers down Remus’ spine, “I would’ve said you.”

Remus’ eyes opened wide, like a startled deer, but Sirius threw his head back nonchalantly, like nothing had been said. Had Remus imagined it?

“Remus, choose someone!” James shouted.

“Oh, r-right, ok. Sirius: truth or dare?”

“Dare me, baby.”

Lily jumped up. “I dare you to kiss Remus!”

Remus’ heart sank as James whooped and the crowd joined in. “Kiss kiss kiss!”. Not like this.

Sirius faltered ever-so-slightly. “Wait. No. I’m gonna drink.”

The group booed him, but Sirius just threw up two fingers, and ignored them.

Remus would be lying if he said he wasn’t disappointed, but equally glad. He obviously wanted to kiss Sirius. So, so, badly. But he didn’t want it to happen this way. They were friends. He didn’t want to jeopardise that. 

The game went on pretty uneventfully. Sirius didn’t do anything else out of the ordinary. Peter was asked to kiss one of the girls, and everyone cheered him on, and when he was finished, he was blushing bright pink and looking slightly dazed.

Remus shuffled out from underneath Sirius, who looked slightly dejected at his leaving. He made his way to the bathroom. Sitting on the edge of the bathtub, he stared at the wall, lost in thought. The boy was so confusing! Remus thought he was straight! Now he was flirting! 

But he always flirted. Another part of his brain argued, that’s just who he was.

No. He wouldn’t think anything more of it. He’d lost a friend in Henry by acting on feelings and got hurt in the process. He didn’t want the same thing to happen with Sirius. 

He splashed some water on his face to cool himself down. God, why couldn’t things be easy?!

He felt his phone buzz in his pocket and saw a message from Sirius. Meet me in my room. Please?

Ignoring the voice screaming at him that this was a mistake, Remus waited 5 minutes, taking deep breaths and figuring out his next course of action. He found himself stood outside of Sirius’ door, heart hammering against his chest. He knocked gently. 

“Come in.”

Sirius was sat on the bed, same position as a year ago when Remus broke down in his arms. He looked beautiful – he always did. He wasn’t wearing his jacket anymore, so Remus could see black ink peeking from under the sleeves of his t-shirt.

Remus shook his head and shut the door. In three steps, Sirius was directly in front of him, one hand on the door to the side of his head, the other shutting the door and locking it. Remus’ heart hammered inside his chest. This couldn’t be happening.

Sirius’ eyes flick to his lips, then back to his eyes. “Remus. Can I kiss you?”

Remus barely had the chance to say yes – oh my god, yes – before Sirius’ lips were crashing onto his. Remus didn’t know where to put his hands, so ran them through that oh-so-perfect hair, messing it up just a little bit more.

They pulled away, and Sirius looked even more beautiful – if that’s even possible – with his lips swollen and his hair messy. 

Remus placed his forehead on the other boy’s. “And here I was, thinking you were straight.”

Sirius chuckled deeply. “Not quite.”

Remus pulled away. “Sirius, please tell me you’re serious. I’m not losing another friendship after acting on urges.”

Sirius placed one hand on either side of Remus’ face, caressing it gently with his thumbs. “Remus Lupin, I have fancied you since I saw you staring at me when you first walked in. You’re beautiful. I’ve been thinking about you a lot recently and it’s been driving me mad because you’re so goddamn beautiful and you have no idea. You know the first time you were in this room, you said one of the main reasons you liked ‘he-who-must-not-be-named’ was because he flirted with you, and that was a miracle in itself. Do you not see how wrong you are? You’re so goddamn beautiful I could lose my mind over it.” He placed a small kiss on Remus’ lips.

Remus didn’t know what to say. He was so taken aback by all of it. “But… why now, why choose this moment to kiss me? To tell me this?”

Sirius had the nerve to look sheepish. “I might have asked Lily to shout that dare for the two of us to kiss. I was basically hoping you liked me back, and Lily told me to go for it. But, when I had to kiss you, I chickened out. Even when not-quite-sober, I was scared.”

He looked so vulnerable, so open. Remus placed one hand on the nape of Sirius’ neck and kissed him again. Passionately. Like this was the culmination of every single crush he’d ever had. This was what he’d been leading up to.

Remus Lupin didn’t ‘do’ crushes. He could count the number of people he’d ever fancied in his 19 years of life on one hand, and he didn’t want to count any higher.

[oh-theatre]

Objection!: Chapter 27

Chapter title: Clocks Tick and Phones Still Ring

A/n: ....yall im so sorry for how long this took and the fact that not only did it take forever but it fucking sucks. I hate this I'm sorry I can't just here I'm so sorry

First | Previous | Next

words: 2155

summary: Through troubling times Logans mind run wilds trying his best

pairings: Eventual logicality, prinxiety, platonic demus, romantic remile

warnings: Murder mention, child murder, Law and Courtroom, swearing, blood, hospital, crime scene,  murder, gun mention, guns, swearing abuse, graphic descriptions, alcohol, shooting, crying

Ao3 Link  

Twenty minutes later...

Do you know what you are supposed to do when the love of your life sits pale and barely breathing in a room?

No Im genuinely asking

Because running out of the room and collapsing to sobs on your knees does seem valid however Logan just stood there. He stood there frozen, Barbara knew what to do. She ran to Pattons side, taking his cold hand, silent tears as she examines his soft face. Virgil emerges moments later, the family rule disposed of as he takes Patton's other side.  Roman took the end, and soon the room felt tight, he couldn't breathe.

He wanted to yell

Or cry

Or do anything remarkably human

But he just stood, nurses and doctors rushed by him, his friends talked in whispers of concern.

Why didn't he care?

He could hear the rest of them talking, questions fired at the nurses and doctors, sweet words of encouragement for a speedy and safe recovery for Patton. Telling them how much they care for him, but not Logan. In what seemed like minutes, the rest had decided to give Logan a moment. A moment for what? That was lost on him but alas the room fell quiet.

“This is your own fault, you understand that right?” He finally sets on speaking, not that anything would respond. Unless you count the steady monitor and the wheezes from the machines. “I'm not sure how many times I must clarify this but I'm not Liam. You can tell me things, you can trust me”

He scoffs, his arms crossed over his heart.

“None of us are Liam. You know I don't say ‘I love you’ ok?” He pushes, he can feel his nostrils flare. Do something Patton, respond. “I've only said it to my mothers and you” He glares, why was he just laying there. How dare he? “You took that from me!” He takes a second, breathing deep. “You knew...you knew this was going to happen. You have a will...its reasonable. You have two kids, a sister and assets at your disposal. But they showed it to me, they brought it to me”

He took his copy out, the crumpled and tear stained document felt too heavy.

“I, Patton Hart, residing at 1823 Millow Lane, declare this to be my Will, and I revoke any and all wills and codicils I previously made.” Logan begins to read, his hands shake noticeably but he continues. “I leave minor children surviving me, my daughter Valerie and son Remus. I appoint as guardian of the person and property of my minor children my partner Logan Tolentino. He shall have custody of my minor children, and shall serve without bond. If he does not qualify or for any reason ceases to serve as guardian, I appoint as successor guardian my sister Barbara Hart.” He finishes, some small part of him almost hopes that Patton awakes. An explanation ready. “This was recent, you knew, you knew something was going on!” He shouts, he tries to recenter but he can't, everything is too much. How was he supposed to handle these things?

“Logan? Everything alright?” A knock allows him to remember he's here.

“M’fine” He lies, and soon it's just him once more. “You changed it, this was clearly recent because I know you. I know that it takes you forever to trust people...although looking back on this unfortunate event you don't trust me. How dare you do this? How dare you not tell me, how dare you turn away from and do this” He rips the paper, watching its remains crumple to the ground “It's not that I can't do it, or won't” He states “Its that I don't want to…” He approaches Patton, finding himself next to the pale faced man. “I don't want to do this without you” He breaks, the anger shatters as his hand meets Patton's cold touch. “Please Patton..” He barely whispers at this point, his heart feels too heavy to be his own. “You do not get to be the love of my life and then die, you do not get to do this to me. Do you understand?”

“Papa?” Logan turns and eyes in horror as the twins, so bubbly and sweet, lose everything about them. Emile bursts through, his eyes and breath apologetic. “What happened...to papa?” Remus cries, Valerie shakes her head.

“Logan I am so sorry, they ju-” Emile begins but Logan sighs.

“It's alright” He assures standing, Emile takes his cue and walks away, leaving the three of them in the room...well four of them, for now. He takes them both in his arms, a breath of relief knowing they exist, knowing they are there and ok. He leads them to the bed, sitting at the end as they fear their place. Valerie squirms first, crawling closer, but alas her hands recoil. Remus has no qualms, he jumps hugging his father.

“Papa wake up please” He begs, his voice so soft. His energy and excitement for the mystery of life is gone. He wanted certainty, he wanted his father. Soon his sad calm aura turned quick to confused anger. “Wake up! Wake up papa! Wake up!” he cries, Valerie's simple tears, as she watched in pity for her brother, were nothing compared to the waterfall. Logan takes the boy, embracing him gently in his arms, soothing him to breathe. Valerie adjusts herself under the blankets, hugging Patton as she tries to mimic his sleep pattern. Logan watches knowing his world is breaking, and he's only got a smidgen of knowledge of what to do.

“The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout, down came the rain and washed the spider out” Valerie hums, Remus eyes her red and puffed. She continues her gentle tone, and Remus joins her on Patton's other side. Both cozying up to him, simple and sweet tunes until the pair tire themselves out. Sleeping away, Logan sits in the chair, he watches hoping to protect them for a moment before his own eyes fall prey to the idea of rest.

~~~

A week later…

“So we ended up going to the wrong store” Logan explains as he sets up the meal, the children giggle placing the sheet over the table. The hospital had granted them permission to use a table, and set up for meals in Patton's room. “Here you are” He hands plates to Valerie, she juggles them carefully setting them neatly upon the surface.

“Imma go get napkins!” Remus declares, he enjoys the sweet gushes the nurses give him so running through the halls was his favorite pastime.

“He's not gonna come back with napkins” Valerie sighs, continuing to help Logan. He sits by Patton, recalling their day. “Lollipops maybe, but not napkins” She finishes giving Logan his moment to set the food. He had been trying his hardest, help from Roman and Remy was required for cooking. He followed the recipe and tried for a simple mac and cheese today, with some salad and sweet desserts.

“Ready?” Logan asks as Remus emerges with a bundle of his own finds, none of which included his treasure he had set to get.

“Don't forget food for papa” Remus reminds, Valerie nods already chomping into her meal. The twins had insisted they set a place for him every time, serve him food and Logan would wait until he was alone to pack it back up. They knew he wasn't eating it but it was nice. “He's going to be so big and strong when he wakes up”

If he wakes up

“Absolutely” Logan agrees. So they eat and Emile comes to pick them up for a day away, Logan cleans and makes sure everything returns to normal. He can't say he doesn't enjoy the few moments alone, it takes time to go from a solitary routine, to adding a romantic partner and then children.

But he misses the second part more than he cares to admit. He sits at the end of the bed, stroking away Patton's loose hairs, the freezing touch scares him. He moves closer, somehow finding himself exhausted and wrapped around Patton. Its funny, he used to dream of the day's end when he could cuddle up in bed alone, the world was his own. But he hadn't realized how much he missed having someone, Patton, there with him until it was gone. Sleep had been awful, restless, but as soon as he had his protective arms around Patton, making sure he was ok...Logan fell fast.

“Careful Lo, hes just a baby” Patton smiles, swaddling the young child in Logan's arms. The man fears his own breath, the smallest of tears as he watches the young one snore so easily. Patton keeps his arms connected and in this moment they just are, they feel connected. A soft kiss to Logans cheek as footsteps shuffle behind him.

“This is Jamahl, Terrences brother” Cindy introduces, Patton flashes his award winning smile. The boy remains hesitant, keeping his eyes steady on the little child in Logan's arms, he has no choice he thinks. If he wants to keep his brother safe this is his option. So he goes with them.

“Where are we going?” He asks, as the neighborhood finds itself less familiar. Patton looked at him, he insisted on sitting in the back with the children. Keeping an eye on the baby.

“Home” He replies, Jamahl scoffs shaking his head. “My home, and Logans and if you would like it to be...your home” Patton corrects, Jamahl gets a choice? That's new. “Oh I should warn you-”

“Here it comes” The twelve year old sighs, Patton keeps a gentle grin.

“I have two twins at home, they're both five years old.” He pulls out his phone, swiping to show a shining photo of Patton and two young ecstatic children, “Thats Valerie and that's Remus” He points, beaming with pride. Jamahl nods, ok...not as bad. “They're wonderful and...five years old and very excitable so just be wary” He laughs, Logan could never get tired of the sweet sound.

They arrived at the house quickly, and Patton was not wrong to warn the child.

“Im Valerie!” A young girl smiles, shaking his hand vivaciously.

“Im Remus!” The boy greets, a giant hug. Jamahl freezes but allows it to happen, thanking whatever ethereal being let Patton pull the twins off him.

“Remember what I told you humbugs, no touching unless they are comfortable with it ok?” Patton reminds, they nod before waving their goodbyes. They run off and Logan disappears into the hall, coddling the baby. Jamahl looks worried and Patton assures him. “You wanna come see what's going on?”

“Yes please” He nods and finds himself allowing Patton to lead him into the baby room. A bed set up for him as well, he watches Logan be ever so careful with the baby and Patton respect his boundaries. He shrugs.

Maybe this won't be so bad.

~~~

A month later...

“Its your fucking fault!” Logan decides, Emile shushes him backing him up from Virgils heated face. “Everything that is happening is your fault!”

“Logan you're being a dick right now” Remy announces, a glare from Emile quiets him. Logan scoffs kicking the chair underneath him, scaring even Roman.

“And yours too” He points, his nasty finger threatening the detectives. “Why didn't you do anything, day after day he came to you! About Liam! And now because of your fucking negligence, he was too scared to come to you and tell you about these phone calls!”

“You know what Lo? I shouldn't have told you, as of now you have no legal bindings to Patton, so me telling you that we searched his phone and found the phone calls, that was a courtesy” Virgil spits, Logan goes to approach not sure what his next move is but thanks to Roman and James he has no time to figure it out. They command him to sit, calming both parties and get a soothing talk down.

“You know it's his fault Roman” Logan sighs exasperated, Roman nods unsure but doesn't want to to escalate.

“You know what, fuck you Logan!” Virgil screams, Logan stands.

“You're the reason those children are gonna lose their father!” Logan retorts, that catches something. Virgil pushes past Remy, almost landing one on Logan before Roman grabs him, both surprised by how well they fit together. Silly to think about at this moment.

“Maybe if you weren't so fucking cold they would see you as a father” Virgil replies once more, that hurt. Logan won't lie that his knees buckled and he might have fallen right then had Barbara and Marcy not taken him and cared for him. He wants to keep going but a chilling throat clears the room. Instantly they both look to the doctor who stands, judgmental but patient.

“Hes awake”