#i am always trying my best but it is never good enough!!!
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copperbadge · 1 day ago
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Hi CB! I've followed your work for a while and I'm curious - I've seen that you do many times on a repetitive and consistent manner.......how? By the love of gods, how? What is this magic? Is it inherited? Genetic? Signed, please-halp
Hey, thanks for reading! I think you may have missed a word in the ask so I am taking a best guess at what you were inquiring about, but I'm guessing you were asking about consistent and repeat ability to write and post fiction? Gosh that sounds egotistical of me but I used to be known for being prolific and I think I'm still known for, if not having the BEST prose, at least having the ability to be of consistent quality. :)
The good news is that it is neither magic nor genetic, and one of those things that anyone can achieve -- it just takes time and a bit of effort. The secret is that I wasn't always even a good writer; what I have always been is a passionate writer. My early fanfic, from fourteen to eighteen, was actually very bad. But I did it a lot. It's hard to get truly good at something if you aren't passionate about it because you won't want to do it so often that you get good at it, but fortunately I fell in love with it. And once you're good at something you do want to do it all the time!
In my teens I wrote absolutely tons of fanfic, and if you were to read it (you can't, it's not under my name and some of it is lost to the ages) you could actually see me improving, because I started out so terribly bad. We're talking "Multiple people speaking in one paragraph" bad. But I kept writing and took feedback and when I went to college I took classes (I had a kind of unofficial minor in playwriting, including having several short plays produced) and when I came back to fandom after college I was...decent. And this you can trace, if you start reading at the start of my AO3 account where all my fanfic since 2003 is stashed; you can see I used to be more awkward in my prose, my pacing wasn't as good, what I considered relevant to include for the story wasn't as polished as it is now.
So, there are almost five million words on my AO3 account, which doesn't include anything I wrote before 2003; I'm forty-five and started writing when I was just shy of fifteen. This will be my thirtieth year writing fiction in April. If you spend that much time writing, even if you don't necessarily TRY to improve, you will learn and grow. And you learn how your own creative process works and how to wrestle with that, so you become consistent simply because you gain a kind of mental muscle-memory.
The thing is, quality and consistency is nice, but it's not necessary to enjoy either fandom or fanfic, or even writing. If you love to write, that's the best thing; you will bring yourself joy. It's one reason I never even considered making a career as a writer, because I didn't want my joy to become my job. That's not to shit on professional writers by ANY means, I have several as friends and of course I admire many well-known authors. But for me, it was important to preserve the parts I loved best, and I didn't think I could do that and still try to get a paycheck from it.
So the trick of quality, consistent writing is to love it enough to do it until you develop your skills and grow as an artist. But the real trick of any artistic expression is to love it for itself, to put heart into your work, and to do everything you can to protect what gives you pleasure. Quality and consistency are nice but if you love what you do they really, eventually, cease to matter. :)
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kanerallels · 24 days ago
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(rant incoming)
#okay. let's process together#why did i feel so annoyed when my mom said that the pictures i was posting on insta looked a little boring?#(it's not like a picture of me it's just some book and crochet stuff(#but here's the thing. i have no idea how i'm supposed to do better than that#sometimes i'm actually enjoying myself on insta and othertimes i really feel like i am not cut out for it#cause if i'm taking a picture of something it's so people can see the thing i am taking a picture of#i 100 percent understand the mindset of wanting an aesthetic picture that looks really nice#but i usually don't know how to execute that#sometimes! but not always#usually not.#and like. in that case i would ask the people in my family who are actually good at this stuff for help?#but i want to be able to do it myself because i don't want them to have to do even more stuff for me#and yeah okay fine YES it is another taking up space thing#but like#ugh#i don't know how to fix this#instagram is kinda fun and cool but it's so not me when it comes to posts#i hate videos and pictures of myself#and visual art is not my thing#and i feel a little lost and confused and i just want people to read my book so i can make enough money that i don't have to get#a horrible normal job#and i don't want my stupid relatives to be right and i never wanted to do instagram in the first place#and the money i saved up from my old job is running out! and i'm a little scared!#and i have a wedding coming up#and stuff is just. ugh. it's not the worst but it sure ain't the best#probably i need to pray and ask God for help instead of posting on tumblr#(in my defense i wanted to process my emotions)#anyways if you made it this far pray for me?#i've been trying to not freak out about all of this for a while but it's kinda pushing its way out now#which i hate. it's just all a lot
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spacespore · 5 months ago
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HI TUMBLRR it’s me
#I ate ramen just now it was soooo god I think ramen is just it just is better after 10pm#im right#ughhh ok that actually reminded me earlier my classmate was making an Asian people eat dogs joke like he put on this awful accent and he wa#all like ‘dog tastes so good with rice’ and then he did other stuff too#but what really made me upset is that someone who I thought was my friend found it really humorous! wow okay!#I know it’s not really a big deal but im still kind of sad like I’ve lost all my respect for you now#anddd they were my only friend in the class so now I’m stuck there for the rest of the semester I guess . I mean I’ll still be nice to them#but I just don’t think I can bring myself to like them anymore sorryyy . not really . but kind of#idk if I’m overreacting . in elementary school though people would make jokes actually about me eating dog and it always made me really sad#but I never held it against them cause we were children#but now I feel like you’re old enough to know what you’re laughing at..#wow ok this really derived away from me being on tumblr and having just ate the worlds best ramen#well . not really I mean it was good but I’m allergic to normal noodles and I need to eat rice noodles and they’re not bad I just don’t lik#them as much Lol#I feel like my actual posts say nothing but if anyone ever reads the tags they probably know everything about me..#I use tumblr to complain half the time loll and I used to post my drawings more but I haven’t made any good drawings recently😭😭😭BUT WAIT!#i have a comic I’ll post in October we’ll see how far I am in it by then…#im like . halfway done with chapter oneeeee so maybe like I’ll post all of chapter one on hallowern.. how does that sound… cause actually#for those of you who don’t know my story has ghosts in it#im like trying to keep it a little silly right now but the tone might shifftttt idk!!!!! we’ll seeeeeeee cause actually I have NOT worked#out the entire plot.. just like. most of it.#but I keep having ideas like midway through ughhh it’s an endless cycle!!!!!#like Francis . she used to be a random character who shows up once but then I was like . wait no! anjali should have ghost friends! and tha#that’s how Francis came to be#and actually today I kind of finalized her design^_^ albeit in my math notebook lol
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rose-tinted-nostalgia · 29 days ago
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being told you don’t deserve kindness or empathy because you won’t fuck someone is so ridiculous you’d think it wouldn’t hurt to hear, but it does. it really fucking does.
#Like you don’t have to like me#but I’m a human being#and I watch you extend kindness to strangers and people you’ve never even met over the internet and coworkers you don’t even like#I’m the mother of your children#I almost died and went to hell and back twice to carry on your shitty as bloodline#and despite your cruelty I am kind to you#as kind as I can be#so kind it’s fucking embarrassing and pathetic#I make you coffee and breakfast in the morning and lunch for work and I take care of everything and I almost never ask you for help#you don’t shop or cook or clean or get up in the middle of the night and you can hardly even spend time with your family#because you need hours to get Hugh and drink and play games before you can exist near anyone#I always text to make sure you got to work safe and home safe and I always ask you how your day was and#I posted on the internet to get you local friends to play magic with and I literally try so fucking hard to make you happy#so our son can stop witnessing these fights but every day you find a new reason to scream at me and then I’m the crazy one#the argumentative one who lost all her friends because I’m too awful to withstand#and yeah I’m not my best right now but I am trying and I have never been this cruel#I’d sacrifice every piece of my soul if it made you happy enough to be a good father but nothing I do is ever enough because I won’t fuck#You BUT somehow when I was fucking you#when I tried to fuck every negative thing out of you so you’d be happy#it still wasn’t enough#and somehow that’s my fault too#how the fuck do you look someone in the eye and say nothing you ever do will be enough until you fuck me and I have no kindness or sympathy#for you because you don’t deserve it#I made you fucking soup and brought you meds when you had a cold and I took care of two kids alone while I had the flu and you complained I#didn’t get enough done??#like not once have you asked me about my day or offered any support or helped when I was hurt or sick or on no sleep you left me in the#hospital alone the day I gave birth#BUT I AM THE ONE UNDESERVING IF BASIC HUMAN DECENCY#I’m gonna throw up. I’m stupid for my choices and the kindness I extend to you and I’ll never deny that#but even stupid people and broken people and people who make mistakes deserve kindness and that is a hill I’ll die on
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tiredtriedfailures · 5 months ago
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im so unwell im wearing the ring my friend got me. for emotional support. like a corny movie protagonist with his dead wife.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago
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#i was looking through old photos today. they where from wjen i was like 1 and it made me so sad#bc my mum would have been like only a year or 2 older then i am now and she looked so young#and now she has an abdomen full of tumors and blistered hands and feet. theyre prob gonna hsve to remove her bladder#but shes still very pragmatic abt it. but she grew up in a house where no one really cared about her feelings so she made them small#and now her mother calls and doesn't ask how her grandkids are doing and doesn't ask how her daughter is doing. im cursed with terrible#grandparents on both sides but i resent my mothers mother worse. though my dad said i probably wouldnt have survived his upbringing#and hes right. my nana has like zero empathy and cant cook for shit. idk how my parents r so normal but the fact i had a good upbringing is#probably the only reason im still here. and thats the other thing that made me sad abt the old pics. just looking at this little baby with a#fucked up head and thinking: in 25 years that kid is gonna b so broken down their not gonns kno what to do or how to fix it. idk whats wrong#with me. ive always been some stage of miserable but i used to b able to get things done. and now i cant seem to force functionality#and it sucks. bc im home now and i still feel like im cringing around this open wound in my chest. but whatever#as of today ive started taking ab1lify. hopefully it helps in the long term but in the short term it triggers my 0cd. which is not fun#its so frustrating. whatever. i also found out my eyes used to not work together. not enough to have a lazy eye but it was hard for me to#read and apparently my eyes were tracking at like double the speed of a normal person. wtf is wrong with my brain? also also my mum was like#yea i never would have guessed bip0lar but we thought it was something. autism i could see 100% but yea didnt see that coming. ao i guess#i brehave like a bit of an oddball. ans my nana would bother my dad to try to make me participate in church and my dad was like no. she#clearly don't wanna b here lol. ay. they did the best they could which i appreciate#unrelated
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yoojinluv · 7 months ago
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heartbreakfeelsogood · 10 months ago
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#i do not want to work tomorrow i want to lay in bed and be sad#i’m really realizing how miserable of a person i am i am always fucking Sad and when i do feel happy i cry when it’s over#and i can’t even resemble a human being without medication and i know that’s fine but i’m still always sad. it doesn’t go away#i feel like nobody deserves to have me weighing them down like i’ve cried in front of people three times this week and i know it’s fine#but i feel so fucking guilty about it and i feel guilty about everything i feel like i’m doing nothing right and i’m not dealing with thing#right and i’m not living right and i feel like it must be so fucking difficult to love me and i don’t know how people do it#i don’t even feel capable of asking for. any sort of love ever#i feel like i don’t deserve like anything. i feel like nobody actually wants to do things for me lol#every single dsy i’m like wow i want to be held and every single dsy i feel bad even asking for a hug from someone#when i need reassurance i’m afraid to ask because what if i’m just being annoying and overbearing and too much Bad#i never feel like too much good. only bad.#i know a lot of these shitty thoughts are just because i’ve been unmedicated (meds will be ready tomorrow lol) but it just like#it sucks to know medication just kinda hides these thoughts better and that deep down i feel like this because i don’t want to#i feel like everyone in my life doesn’t deserve someone who doubts everything all the time#i think my mother deserved a stronger daughter and i think my friends deserve someone that’s not always breaking and i just don’t feel Good#i don’t know why anyone keeps me around#sometimes i feel selfish for sticking around and that sounds so awful and i’m not gonna act on it but i just feel like a waste of a person#the last week has been so good and now i’m just a fucking mess and i feel so fucking guilty about that :)#i feel like no matter what i always just default to miserable#i don’t feel like i’m doing enough at all#i’m struggling in school i don’t work enough i can barely take care of myself#like i wouldn’t even properly take care of myself if taylor wasn’t helping me i feel so guilty about that all the time#i feel so guilty for even thinking any of this right now and i’m trying to remind myself that i’m unmedicated and i’ve had a long day#and my best fucking friend just went back home and i’m allowed to be sad about that but i just. feel like i’m making excuses i guess#it’s not immoral to be sad but maybe when i’m wanting to die all the time i’m the problem. idk#anyway i’m gonna go to sleep and i’m gonna try to convince myself tomorrow will be better#sndnsksjkakejdkalwosjhdkwosjdjsk. i will be fine
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maybe one day I'll be able to clean my house without getting an anxiety attack about something. not today though. today I get to worry about whether a cleaning product is going to ruin my skin/poison me. as usual.
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arolesbianism · 8 months ago
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Oh baby I am getting way to ambitious with my current oni run for someone who's laptop starts screaming anytime it opens steam
#rat rambles#oni posting#Ive started expanding my base area not for the sake of providing more living space or whatver but so I can build a museum#Im going to have an artifact section an art section and ideally a critter section if I can decide how I would go abt that#Im also going to have a sporechid exhibit since Ive never actually tried to use them before#its going to be right above the biobot room since thats going to be the entrance of the museum#I may also further expand downwards at some point to build a mega relaxation section with as many rec buildings as I can affort to maintain#more focus on variety that pure numbers tho I just wanna use the stuff I usually never use#and lemme tell you my dupes will use none of them since theyre too obsessed with their damn phones but its ok I forgive them#now one thing thats going to be annoying abt this project is that for the critter section Im going to need a Lot of glass#the goal is to keep one wild creature in each containment room and to have each be fairly healthy for the critter#now I definitely wont be doing every critter as quite franky I dont have space for that#currently my only real plan is for an oakshell exhibit but I wanna do more of them#maybe a cuddle pip one would work? Id also like a shine bug one but idk how exactly to go abt it#mainly because ideally Id want one of the fancier shine bugs but I am firm on keeping these guys wild#and itd probably take a lot of work to get a wild radiant bug or smth#well more like a lot of time#I could just try to get a more middle of the pack shine bug and just call that good enough#Im pretty sure shine bug morph rates only change when they eat so in theory I could get away with taht#although technically speaking the morph odds can always just happen anyways so maybe I just leave it and hope for the best#like I have the food to spare I could very easily breed fancy shinebugs if I wanted to again I just wanna keep them wild#but yeah other critter options probably include dreckos and maybe a long haired slickster if I feel like putting in the effort#a drecko exhibit would be pretty simple tho Id just have to decide which morph#Im unsure if I wanna do a hatch exhibit or not simply because I dont have ideas to make it look cool#like I feel like for a hatch Id want it to be a stone or smooth hatch but again the breeding problem arises#now one thing I should definitely do at some point is go grab a gassy moo for the museum but thats a maybe project#mostly because I still have trauma from the last time I did a gassy moo trip lol#speaking off I still need to build a rocket that can actually be used to explore new planets#so far all my rocketry has been for data banks and artifacts#although I did just today get my first drillcone rocket up and running
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29121996 · 8 months ago
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#sometimes i forget that . i am not immume to my.good things corrupting me#this is embarrassing sctuslly ..getting fuckign Anxious over a venus kazimi like.#dawg calm down oh my.god . ur gonna be fine. everything.sill be fine lol#for the greater good (my mental health)#but my god ppl om the internet know how to word things that do infact trigger me#n i can never tellcif i am being sensitive or not n i so infact .#it doesnt matter n yet . im crippling in fear over this shit ONCE again. for the rexord#i have bren doing my best toclike stay off the internet . it was doing my head in#but . anyeay whatever. its fjne im having a bad day apparently#n im staying home for wtv reason like . i wanna go out but im just .#i wanna try n save this money n get my cwllo fixed .#its the one thinf on my list im desperate tovget done#bc everything else will fsll into place after that . bc ill have something else i dnjoy to do w my time#n atm i want nothing more thsn tovjust practice . fuck the sheet music in tbe othet stuff i gotta organise#im . yea sorry .#WAITT my sister got a ptinter . i can print the sheet music i have ready to go.#besides im sure if i look hard enough i can find . my folder w my ensemblr worm#i have thought abt conquistador daily btw . she was so fun tocplay ah :(#n going out also means . Not e tirely sure if ill b awake before 1pm . bc this placr closes at like 2.#so . i do have to go to bed realtively early if i wanna do this . n i do. im biting thr bullet#im impuslivd but not when itll benefit me. go figure. anyway. i have just enough. ill be Fine .#worst case . my dad has these awful tailors i can chop up#and he can also buy my grocrties this week 👩‍🦯#worst case . i fkgure itnout somehow. i always do but . i gotta bite the bulley on this i cannot do this anymore#i need something else to occupy my time. n this is the one thinf i knoe for sure will be worth the investment#bc if not. i can literally just Sell it for like $300 (if its worth rven That lol)#like shes a good cello but damn shes dinged up and xhipped. im not paying for that to b fixed#it adds character.
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dandy-lad · 10 months ago
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#i need to be away from here#gott i just...#im autistic right just fyi#and my mum does not treat me as if i were#like she has neurotypical standards for me which i have to meet otherwise there will be Bad Consequences#and this is killing me bc im not neurotypical#the only way she'll treat me as autistic is if i get officially diagnosed#which i kinda want but also dont want#and its just. she's. gott my relationship with her is so complicated but shes caused me so much hurt and trauma and pain and#thats what im feeling right now. that.#i should get a diagnosis for me not for her#but i dont think i can survive in this environment for much longer#i told my dad i might try get diagnosed (havent talked to him about autism before) n he was like “okay”#pretty much verbatim#which is realistically the best response i couldve had#then he went on a rant about how autism “didnt exist” in the past and how its caused by vaccines#and this drug which apparently helps with autism and when i said No im not doing that i dont want to be “cured” this is a thing that#shouldnt be cured he was like ??? then whyd you want a diagnosis#hhhh but that i can deal with. after 4 years of being subjected to his and my mums conspiracy theory bullshit i can put up with it#at first it really stressed me out but i can cope with it now and come up with well thought out and factual grounded counter arguments#n i told my mum that dads fine with me getting a diagnosis n then i asked her if when i get one she'll treat me as if i were autistic#and she laughed and was like wait until you get one#like she doesn’t think i am which shows how Fucking Little she knows about me and how much i have to hide from her#because shes always shouted at me for Every Autistic Trait i display#im never fucking good enough for her#she treats me and percieves of me as if im neurotypical and Im Not#i remember once (after something happened) i heard her shout “WHY CANT I HAVE FUCKING NORMAL CHILDREN” or something like that#that sticks with you.#that shit hurts and sticks with you#who gave this woman two queer autistic mentally ill children to raise who's fucking plan was that
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woovalin · 5 months ago
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i’m in such disbelief right now and beyond disgusted.
i really hope y’all are choosing your morals over kpop; because we do not know these men at all. i will never side with or defend a predator and a criminal, even with little to no proof. even if there is the smallest chance he may be innocent, i will always believe the victim first.
some of you, as fans of the boys for years and him in general, i know you must be feeling disappointed and betrayed. you’re not dumb for previously supporting him, as we couldn’t have possibly known. but now is the time for a reality check and it’s time to wake up and take a step back. this just goes to show that we know absolutely nothing about them.
for sm to just outright put out a statement on their own before any rumors even surfaced and immediately kick him out? this has to be insanely serious and i’m terrified of what he could’ve done. the crazy thing is with everything currently happening in korea with the telegram situation, and korean women constantly being in danger in general because of the men there, i’m not at all surprised that celebrities are being exposed. sm has protected criminals before, and held onto lucas when his scandal came out as well as other artists who have been exposed for similar crimes. i can’t even imagine the severity of the current situation. we’ve seen what happened with the burning sun, and these men are not immune to being misogynistic, vile human beings.
members have already unfollowed him and deleted posts with him in them; his best friend of 17yrs has unfollowed him. the company taking the initiative and him getting kicked out of the group in less than a second before anything even came out, no denying the claims or even trying to defend him. that should be enough to tell you and understand how serious this actually is. i am beyond disgusted with him and this whole situation.
i sincerely hope the victim is doing okay and praying for them to heal and get the justice they deserve. and remember that your love for these celebrities should always be conditional, because we do not know them. it’s their job to put on a show and show you their public persona, but behind closed doors? we don’t know what they’re actually like. we put them on a pedestal and yet we don’t know what they’re really capable of. they are still men after all. i hope the police are taking this seriously. there needs to be consequences and these women need to be protected.
let this be a lesson to all of us. they don’t know us, and we don’t know them, not really, not at all.
ALWAYS choose morals over these strangers you idolize. and as women, we should be standing with the victims.
maybe not all men, but enough of them. and maybe not all men, but somehow always a man. and going forward, i will continue to support nct as a whole with the remaining members. however, keeping the situation in mind, i will be supporting from afar for a little while. if the situation escalates and other members are investigated and new information comes to light about the rest of them either knowing or possibly being involved, it would be best to step away for good. i will do my best to stay updated. but i do hope the rest of the members are doing okay, and hopefully no other members were involved; but this, just shows that they can always surprise us. you never think it’ll be your fave, until it is.
let’s hope this causes a domino effect and more of these people are exposed and charged for the crimes they’re committing.
sending love to anyone who has ever experienced sexual violence or has been targeted and been in a similar situation. it is not your fault and it never was!
love you all and my dms are always open if you need to vent. <3
❗️EDIT: also i wanna add that we need to not praise the rest of the members or any other celebrity for simply unfollowing him on social media. that is the least of anyone’s worries.
we don’t know if they were aware, we don’t know if they knew and were protecting him or turning a blind eye. it could be them trying to save themselves and clear their guilty conscience. maybe they didn’t know and are just as shocked as we are, we don’t know that either.
we blindly trust these people and believe they have good intentions but look at where that can lead to. fans being upset is valid, yes; but remember people with money and power will do whatever it takes to sweep things under the rug and make it go away in order to save face and keep their image and reputation.
follow-up post here.
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tossawary · 1 year ago
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One of my personal nitpicks for historical fantasy is a lack of servants, staff, subordinates, and... idk... subjects? Like, their absence is not... a total dealbreaker for me, depending on the situations the characters are in and whether or not I can just assume that other people are there in the background... but so many of the protagonists in historical fantasy stuff are higher-ranking (very often royalty), and/or have busy jobs, and/or have enormous houses that would necessitate having at least part-time staff.
Like, girl, you should have a maid! WHERE is your chaperone?! WHO is driving this carriage?! Where are your footmen? Are you trying to imply that a WEALTHY DUCHESS is taking a CAB?! You know that you probably have tenants, right? Where is your steward?! Where is your lawyer? Your accountant?! (Like, yeah, you're not going to have your lawyer living in your house, but you HAVE one, right???)
Or, man, you're supposed to be a military commander and you don't even have a single secretary?! Where is your SQUIRE?! (In the spirit of historical fiction, I am jumping wildly across time periods with every sentence here.) Man, I know you aren't looking after your own boots. Where are your GUARDS?! Who set up this tent for you?! Who is looking after your horse?! Who is making and carrying the incredibly valuable maps people are recklessly stabbing daggers into?!
SOMEONE has to be scrubbing these floors and delivering the mail and cooking the meals and doing laundry, and they're probably all DIFFERENT people! My dentist has at least three different receptionists and we can't even get ONE for our court wizard here? A sorcerer's apprentice to take notes? Someone like Sherlock Holmes could get away with just having a housekeeper and taking taxis, sure, but your character is supposed to be a KING?! Why is he answering his own front door? He's going to get assassinated. His SERVANTS should have SERVANTS.
Like, yes, I understand that a lot of servants in certain places at certain times were supposed to make their labor invisible, but there have always been servants who still had to interact directly with the masters of the house?! Yeah, there are potentially really messy ethics here, class divisions are bullshit, but I don't think that completely ignoring the reality that humans have ALWAYS been doing work for other humans is better than just including some well-paid and well-treated servants and employees? Because a complete absence of them, especially where logically for the worldbuilding there MUST be servants (and probably exploited servants, or worse, for some particular worldbuilds to work), often makes me think that your main characters just don't care enough to notice the "lower class" people or know their names.
Also, even Frodo Baggins had a gardener and Samwise Gamgee might be the best damn character in the story?! Sam saved the world?! Servants are PEOPLE. Servants are often the funniest and most interesting characters, tbh, with the most to say about a society and its workings (yes, Discworld is a very good book series, highly recommend), and also the joke of some romantic scene being carefully orchestrated by a stage crew of servants frantically diving into bushes to stay out of sight never gets old to me. Teamwork makes the dream work!
I don't want to gatekeep historical fiction, especially not historical fantasy, because the worlds don't necessarily have to conform to our own and may have magic and characters are often in very unique circumstances, but... sometimes I pick up a story and it's like... "Author, please tell me that you know there is a difference between a butler and a valet?!"
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t34rdr0pz · 1 year ago
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why do my feelings scare everyone away
#i’m just an objectively shitty person that’s just like.. how it is apparently#i don’t mean to be#i try really really hard and there’s just.. always something else#im not mad at you because i wouldn’t have wanted me either#i just hurt because i let myself believe i was good enough when i shouldn’t have and it’s my fault#i should’ve known better.#im.. literally nothing but an obsessive over jealous addict with anger issues#i am nothing but self destruction but you kept it in check for a while#i thought.. you saw the good in me but there wasn’t really much to see#and no matter how hard i try i can’t make you.. i swear i have it..#and i can’t listen when people say i deserve better because there isn’t better. and if there is i clearly don’t deserve it#there’s still shit about me you don’t know. shit that would’ve made you leave a LONG time ago#and even without knowing that you.. probably think i’m a monster#i tore myself apart trying to be enough for you and i’m just.. not. so why would i be for someone ‘better’#i thought you wanted a future but you just.. really didn’t..#i cared for you as best i could and if i ever needed or wanted something it had to be.. like a thing..#i don’t deserve anything#i NEVER deserved you but it was nice to believe i did for a while and i miss it.#im fucking dying being alone and you’re just.. moving on..#you’re getting an APARTMENT. like we wanted to do. for months. did you just not want it with me?#i don’t understand and you won’t tell me.. fuckin anything..#because i’m supposed to just be okay like i haven’t lost my savior#my guardian angel and my safety net#but i won’t be and you’re not gonna wanna deal with it and someday you’ll be gone too.#and i’ll just have to go through this cycle forever for the rest of my life#i wasn’t mad at you it’s just.. true#i have never in my life been this heartbroken all at once.#i lost the only person i thought was gonna treat me .. right. but i wasn’t enough. i couldn’t make you stay and want us#how could i ever do it with someone else? you saved me from my worst#i’ll NEVER have that with someone else. no one will EVER be you.
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theetherealbloom · 1 month ago
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Whole Package, Babe, I Like The Way You Fit
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Summary: Holiday beach trip with Pedro and friends.
Or, that one new Pedro shirtless pic…
Paring: Pedro Pascal x F!Reader
Warnings: Established Relationship, TOOTH-ROTTING FLUFF, Slight Nudity, Slight Angst, Swearing, Anxiety, Cheesy Dialogue, Romance, Kissing, Real People Fiction, Cameras, Paparazzi, Social Media, Beach Trip, Light Blood, Scratch, Ocean, Swimming, Swimwear, Shirtless Pedro, Light SMUT, Spicy, Sweet, Implied SMUT, Banter, Idk Spanish so the terms might be wrong but I'm trying my best
Word Count: 4.6k
A/N: The mf decided to give us shirtless Pedro and suddenly I have the will to live again LMAO. Weirdly enough, I am also at the beach while writing this so it’s kinda a funny coincidence… Imagine if we were at the same beach, that would be so funny (He can never know my existence I might die.)
No one ask me how I knew what hotel they were staying at. I scare myself too dw.
Side note: I’m dyslexic and English isn’t my first language! So I apologize in advance for the spelling and/or grammatical errors. As always, reblogs, comments, and likes are always appreciated. Thank you and happy reading!
Song: Juno by Sabrina Carpenter
| Main Masterlist |
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HOTEL ESENCIA, MEXICO — DAY
The warm tropical breeze carried the salty tang of the ocean as you stepped onto the soft, powdery sand of the secluded beach Pedro’s friends had chosen for the Christmas getaway. The sun kissed your skin, palm trees swayed lazily overhead, and the gentle rhythm of waves provided the perfect soundtrack for a holiday escape.  
The group—Lauren Alexander, Brandan Campbell, Omar Apollo, and Pedro’s ever-charismatic agent, Franklin Latt—had already claimed a prime spot near the water. Lounge chairs were lined up under brightly colored umbrellas, a massive cooler sat brimming with ice and drinks, and Omar was enthusiastically attempting to set up a speaker while humming the latest tune stuck in his head.  
Pedro lagged a few steps behind you, carrying your beach bag and his, though his attention wasn’t on the task. It was on you.  
When you shrugged off your airy cover-up, revealing a stunning red bikini that hugged your curves just right, Pedro froze mid-step. His sunglasses couldn’t hide the way his jaw tightened or how his eyes darkened as they roamed over you.  
“Everything okay there?” you teased, tilting your head as you caught him staring.  
Pedro blinked, visibly gathering himself. “Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine.” He cleared his throat, but his gaze didn’t waver. “More than fine.”  
You smirked, adjusting the straps of your bikini for good measure. “You’re staring.”  
“Can you blame me?” he shot back, taking a step closer. His voice dipped, low and husky. “You look... breathtaking.”  
A flush crept up your neck, but you refused to let him win so easily. “Not too bad yourself,” you quipped, lightly poking his chest. His white linen shirt was unbuttoned just enough to reveal a tantalizing hint of his tan skin and the gold chain that rested against his collarbone.  
Pedro chuckled, the sound warm and intimate. “If I’d known you’d be wearing this, I’d have hired a bodyguard to keep everyone else from looking.”  
“Oh, please,” you replied, rolling your eyes but unable to stop the grin tugging at your lips. “I’m here with you, aren’t I?”  
He leaned in, his hand brushing against your waist as he planted a soft kiss on your forehead. “Stop being so cute, or I might never let you leave my sight,” he murmured.  
“Is that a promise or a threat?” you teased, your voice playful but your heart racing.  
“Both,” he said, his grin widening as he pulled back to admire you once more.  
From nearby, Omar let out a loud whistle. “Pedro, are you gonna stand there all day, or are you gonna help us with this speaker? Some of us want to vibe to music!”  
Pedro groaned, turning reluctantly toward the group but throwing an arm around your shoulders as he led you over. “Fine, but only because she’s coming with me,” he called out, earning a round of laughter.  
As you settled into the setup, the sun beamed overhead, and the carefree energy of the group was infectious. Pedro stayed close, his arm brushing yours as you helped Lauren unpack snacks, and his eyes never strayed far from you.  
At one point, Franklin handed you a coconut with a straw and a cheeky smile. “Best way to stay hydrated,” he said, winking.  
“Cheers,” Pedro said, clinking his coconut against yours. He took a sip before leaning closer, his breath warm against your ear. “But if you spill even a drop, I’m licking it off you.”  
Your cheeks burned as you nearly choked on your drink. “Pedro!” you hissed, swatting at him.  
He grinned, unapologetic. “What? I’m just being practical.”  
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The day unfolded in easy laughter and warmth, with the sun high overhead and the turquoise ocean sparkling like a field of diamonds. Pedro carried you on his back through the shallows, his hands gripping your thighs as you pretended to be his commanding officer.  
“Faster, soldier!” you commanded, leaning forward and tugging gently at his ears as if steering him.  
“Ma’am, yes, ma’am!” he called back, mock-serious but laughing as he jogged through the water, sending small waves splashing around you both. “Anything else, ma’am? Should I do some push-ups in the sand too?”  
You grinned wickedly. “Push-ups? I’d like to see you try—with me on your back.”  
Pedro stopped abruptly, twisting his head to glance at you with a raised brow. “Oh, you think I can’t?”  
“I know you can’t,” you teased, leaning down to press your cheek against his.  
He smirked, suddenly spinning in place. “You’re asking for it now.”  
Before you could protest, he dropped into the water with a dramatic splash, sending you tumbling off his back and into the cool embrace of the ocean.  
“Pedro!” you shrieked, surfacing with a gasp and pushing your wet hair out of your face.  
He was already laughing, standing a few feet away with his hands on his hips, his soaked hair plastered to his forehead. “That’s what you get for doubting my strength!”  
“Oh, you’re so dead!” you shouted, lunging toward him.  
Pedro yelped playfully, backpedaling but not fast enough. You caught his arm, laughing as you pulled him down into the water with you. The two of you wrestled like kids, splashing and laughing so hard your stomach hurt.  
“Truce! Truce!” he called out, holding up his hands in surrender as you pelted him with another wave of water.  
“Do you admit defeat?” you demanded, a triumphant grin on your face.  
“Never!” he declared, darting forward to grab your waist. Before you could react, he lifted you effortlessly, spinning you around in the water.  
“Pedro!” you shrieked, laughing and trying to wriggle free.  
“You wanted a soldier,” he said, his voice full of mischief, “and now you’ve got one!”  
You finally stopped struggling, letting your arms drape around his shoulders as he held you close. The laughter faded into something softer, the two of you catching your breath as you stood chest-deep in the water.  
His hands slid down to your hips, steadying you as he gazed at you with a look that made your heart flutter. “You’re beautiful, you know that?” he murmured, his voice low and intimate.  
The way he said it, like it was a simple truth he’d always believed, made your cheeks warm despite the cool water. “You’re just saying that because I’m soaked and ridiculous-looking,” you replied, biting back a smile.  
“No,” he said, leaning in so his forehead pressed against yours. “I’m saying it because it’s true.”  
Your breath hitched as his lips brushed against yours, soft and hesitant at first, like he was savoring the moment. The kiss deepened quickly, his arms pulling you closer until there was no space between you.  
When you pulled back for air, Pedro’s eyes were dark, his lips slightly swollen from the kiss. “You’ve got this effect on me,” he admitted, his voice husky.  
“Oh yeah?” you teased, though your voice wavered with the same breathless energy.  
“Yeah,” he said, leaning in to kiss you again, his hands sliding up your back. “And I never want it to go away.”  
For a while, the rest of the world melted away. You stayed there, wrapped in each other’s arms, the ocean rocking gently around you. He kissed you like he was memorizing every detail, every taste, and you couldn’t help but smile against his lips, feeling completely and utterly adored.  
At one point, he pulled back just enough to whisper, “If this is what it feels like to surrender, I’m never fighting again.”  
You laughed, threading your fingers through his damp hair. “I think I like you defeated.”  
“And I think I like you here, in my arms,” he replied softly, his lips brushing against your temple.  
The sound of your friends laughing and splashing in the distance barely registered. For now, it was just you and Pedro, lost in a world of sunlit kisses and salty skin, the ocean your only witness.  
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The group gathered in a loose circle, each person holding a large green coconut decorated with colorful straws and tiny paper umbrellas. The warm, golden light of the late afternoon sun bathed everything in a soft glow, making the moment feel like a scene out of a postcard. Omar crouched to capture the perfect angle with his camera while Lauren struck a dramatic pose, tilting her head back and raising her coconut like it was a chalice of the gods.  
“Lauren, you’re doing the most,” Franklin said, shaking his head but smiling as he adjusted his sunglasses.  
“Darling, I am the most,” Lauren shot back with a wink, drawing laughs from everyone.  
Pedro, standing just behind you, pulled you snugly against his side, his arm wrapped securely around your waist. “C’mon, let’s show them how it’s done,” he murmured in your ear, his warm breath sending a shiver down your spine.  
Franklin, standing in front with his phone, held it up. “Okay, lovebirds, your turn. Smile for the camera!”  
You turned your face toward Pedro’s at the exact same moment he turned toward you, and the laughter bubbled up before either of you could stop it. Your foreheads bumped lightly, and you both dissolved into giggles, the kind of uncontainable joy that made your chest feel light.  
“Oh, my god,” Lauren groaned theatrically, pointing at the two of you. “Are they even real? Look at them, they’re in their own damn rom-com!”  
“Y’all are embarrassing,” Omar chimed in, snapping pictures anyway. “But keep doing whatever that is because it’s disgustingly cute.”  
Pedro’s grin widened as he tilted his head toward you, his nose brushing against yours. “You’re ridiculous,” you said through your laughter, feeling your cheeks warm under the attention.  
“And you’re perfect,” Pedro replied, his voice low but playful, the corners of his mouth lifting into a smirk.  
Franklin groaned loudly, still holding up his phone. “For the love of all things holy, just kiss her already! We’re trying to make memories here, not watch a slow-burn romance unfold in real-time!”  
Pedro raised an eyebrow, glancing at the group before looking back at you with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. “What do you think, Hermosa? Should we give them what they want?”  
You laughed, pretending to ponder. “Hmm… maybe. But only if you make it a good one.”  
“Challenge accepted,” Pedro whispered, and then his lips were on yours, soft but sure. The kiss was sweet and unhurried, the kind that made everything around you fade into the background.  
“Oh my god, they’re actually doing it,” Lauren shrieked, clapping her hands together like a giddy child.  
“Finally!” Omar exclaimed, snapping several pictures in rapid succession. “This is going on the Christmas card.”  
“Make sure you get my good side!” Pedro joked, pulling back just enough to shoot Omar a wink, his arm still secure around your waist.  
“I don’t think you have a bad side,” you teased, your eyes meeting Pedro’s.  
“Ugh, stop!” Franklin groaned, clutching his chest dramatically. “This is too much. I need a drink—and not out of a coconut. I’m going straight for the tequila.”  
Everyone burst into laughter, the lighthearted teasing filling the air as the moment was immortalized with photos, laughter, and a shared sense of joy. Pedro leaned closer, his lips brushing your temple as the group continued to banter.  
“They’re just jealous,” he murmured softly, his voice filled with affection.  
You tilted your head up to meet his gaze, your heart swelling at the warmth in his eyes. “Maybe. But I’m not sharing, so they can stay jealous.”  
Pedro chuckled, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Good. Because neither am I.”  
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The heat of the day softened into a golden, languid warmth as the two of you found refuge under the shade of a broad umbrella. The beach stretched endlessly before you, the waves lazily licking at the shore. Pedro reclined in a beach chair, his book propped open on his lap. The faint breeze tousled his hair, a few stray strands falling over his forehead, and the way he absentmindedly pushed them back sent a flutter through your chest.  
You leaned against his side, your legs stretched out on the chair beside him, the perfect picture of ease. With one hand, you held your favorite romance novel, its dog-eared pages evidence of how many times you'd read it. With the other, you traced patterns along the inked lines of his tattoos. Your fingertips moved slowly, savoring the ridges of muscle and warmth beneath his skin, as if committing every part of him to memory.  
Pedro’s free hand slid into yours, threading your fingers together with a natural intimacy that still made your heart skip a beat. He didn’t look up from his book as he murmured, “Everything feels right when you’re with me.”  
The sincerity in his tone made you pause, your eyes lifting from the words on the page. A small smile tugged at your lips as you squeezed his hand gently. “I know the feeling,” you replied, your voice soft.  
For a while, the two of you sat in comfortable silence, the kind that only comes when you’re entirely at ease with someone. The distant laughter of your friends mingled with the rhythmic crashing of waves, creating a serene soundtrack to your stolen moment.  
Pedro finally set his book down, slipping a receipt in as a placeholder. His gaze shifted to you, lingering in a way that made your cheeks heat even before he said a word.  
“You know,” he began, his voice warm and teasing, “you’re kind of amazing.”  
You tilted your head, meeting his eyes with a playful arch of your brow. “Kind of?”  
Pedro chuckled, his smile widening. “Okay, more than kind of. Very. Incredibly. Like, the kind of amazing that makes me wonder what I ever did to deserve you.”  
You closed your book, setting it on the small table between your chairs. Turning slightly, you rested your chin on his shoulder, your fingers still entwined with his. “Pedro, where’s all this coming from?”  
He shrugged, but his eyes were soft, almost vulnerable. “Just thinking. Watching you. It hits me sometimes how lucky I am. How lucky I feel to be the one sitting here with you.”  
You laughed lightly, shaking your head. “You’re the one everyone loves. The kind, talented, ridiculously handsome Pedro Pascal. If anything, I’m the lucky one.”  
Pedro leaned closer, his free hand brushing a strand of hair away from your face. “You’re wrong about that. Don’t get me wrong—I like myself just fine,” he teased, earning a laugh from you. “But you? You’re everything. Smart, funny, compassionate. And don’t even get me started on how beautiful you are.”  
Your cheeks flushed, and you tried to deflect with a teasing grin. “Oh, so it’s just my looks, huh?”  
“Not even close,” Pedro said, his voice dropping to a softer, deeper tone. “It’s the way you talk about your favorite books like they’re old friends. The way you laugh with your whole body. The way you care about everyone—how you make every room brighter just by being in it.”  
“Pedro…” you whispered, your throat tight with emotion.  
“And don’t think I haven’t noticed how you’ve got everyone wrapped around your finger,” he added, his grin returning. “Omar can’t go ten minutes without asking if you need something, and Lauren keeps calling you her ‘new favorite person.’”  
You laughed, brushing at your cheeks as your emotions threatened to overwhelm you. “Stop. You’re going to make me cry.”  
Pedro’s expression softened further, his thumb brushing over your cheek as if to catch a tear before it could fall. “If I do, they’d better be happy tears. Because, cariño, I love you more than I ever thought was possible.”  
Your breath hitched, and you leaned into his touch. “I love you too. So much.”  
For a moment, the world around you faded into the background. Pedro leaned in, his lips brushing against yours in a kiss that was slow and tender, like a promise. When he pulled back, he rested his forehead against yours, his voice barely above a whisper.  
“Promise me you’ll always stay this close,” he said, his tone carrying a weight you couldn’t quite place.  
You smiled, your hands cupping his face. “I promise. Always.”  
Pedro’s heart swelled at your words, and though he didn’t say it out loud, a plan began to take shape in his mind. He pictured the perfect ring, the perfect moment, the perfect way to ask you to spend forever with him.  
“I’ll hold you to that,” he said softly, pressing a lingering kiss to your forehead.  
You didn’t need to say anything else. The way you melted into his arms, the way your fingers found his once again, said everything. For now, this was enough. But in his heart, Pedro knew it wouldn’t be long before he made good on the promise his soul had already made: to love you, always.
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The late afternoon sun bathed the beach in golden light as you wandered back into the water. The waves lapped gently at your legs, warm and inviting. Lost in the tranquil rhythm of the ocean, you didn’t notice the jagged rock just below the surface until it grazed your shin. You winced, feeling the sharp sting before brushing it off as nothing.  
You emerged from the water, the salty breeze brushing against your skin. Pedro, lounging nearby with a half-finished coconut drink, immediately sat up. His eyes darted to your leg, catching the small but noticeable trail of red trickling down your shin.  
“Are you bleeding?” His voice carried that signature mix of concern and urgency that only Pedro could make sound so endearing.  
You glanced down, surprised to see the cut. “Oh.”  
“Oh?” Pedro’s tone was incredulous as he practically leapt from his chair, already reaching for the towel draped over the back. “That’s all you have to say? Oh?”  
“It’s just a scratch, Pedro,” you said with a small laugh, trying to wave him off. “I’m fine.”  
But Pedro was having none of it. He crouched in front of you, his warm hands circling your calf to keep your leg still. The towel dabbed gently at the cut, his brow furrowed in concentration. “You’re not allowed to get hurt on my watch,” he muttered, more to himself than to you.  
“It’s barely a paper cut,” you teased, watching the way his features softened even as he fussed over you.  
“Doesn’t matter.” His voice was firm, though his touch remained impossibly gentle. “What if it gets infected? What if—”  
You laughed, cutting him off. “Pedro, it’s not like I got bitten by a shark.”  
He looked up at you, his expression a mixture of exasperation and adoration. “Don’t joke about that. I’d fight a shark for you, you know.”  
The sincerity in his voice, paired with the completely ridiculous statement, made you laugh even harder. “Oh, I’m sure you would,” you said, brushing your fingers through his damp curls.  
“Don’t test me,” he quipped, finally satisfied that the cut was clean. He reached for the small first-aid kit Franklin had insisted on bringing, pulling out a bandage. “Hold still.”  
“Seriously?” you asked, your amusement growing.  
“Seriously,” he said, shooting you a look that dared you to challenge him. He peeled the adhesive back and smoothed the bandage over your shin with a precision that would make a surgeon proud.  
“There,” he said, sitting back on his heels and surveying his work with a nod. “Good as new.”  
“You’re ridiculous,” you said, shaking your head but smiling all the same.  
“And you’re reckless,” he shot back, standing up and pulling you into his arms. “I leave you alone for five minutes, and this is what happens.”  
You leaned into him, your hands resting against his chest. “I think you’re overreacting. It’s a scratch, Pedro.”  
“It’s your scratch,” he said, his voice softening. His fingers tilted your chin up, his eyes searching yours. “That means it matters to me.”  
Your heart did a little flip at his words, and you couldn’t resist teasing him just a little. “You know how you’re like—”  
“Absolutely embarrassingly in love with you?” he cut in, a smirk tugging at his lips.  
You rolled your eyes, though you couldn’t help the grin that spread across your face. “Yeah, that.”  
Pedro leaned in, his forehead resting against yours. “I am, you know,” he said, his voice dropping to a tender murmur. “Completely, hopelessly, embarrassingly in love with you.”  
Your teasing melted away as you cupped his face, brushing your thumbs over the scruff of his jaw. “Good. Because I’m absolutely embarrassingly in love with you too.”  
His smile grew, and he kissed you softly, as if sealing a promise. When he pulled back, his eyes sparkled with mischief. “Now, no more rock fights, okay? You’ve got to take it easy on me.”  
You laughed, wrapping your arms around his neck. “I’ll do my best. But no promises if a shark shows up.”  
Pedro groaned dramatically, lifting you off your feet as he carried you back to the lounge chairs. “If a shark shows up, I’ll negotiate with it. Tell it I’m already your protector and it can’t have the job.”  
You giggled, nuzzling against his neck. “Sounds like a good plan. My hero.”  
He set you down with exaggerated care, pressing one last kiss to your forehead. “Always,” he said simply.  
And as the two of you sat there, the ocean stretching endlessly before you, you felt it again—that perfect, undeniable feeling of being home.
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HOTEL ESENCIA, MEXICO — SUNSET
The sunset painted the sky in hues of orange, pink, and deep indigo, casting a magical glow over the beach. The group sat in a loose circle, their laughter and conversation mingling with the soft crash of the waves and the mellow strumming of a guitar Omar had picked up. The mood was serene, the kind of calm that felt like it could stretch forever.  
Pedro sat behind you on the sand, his strong arms wrapped securely around your waist as you leaned back against his chest. His chin rested lightly on your shoulder, and you could feel the soft puff of his breath against your neck. His warmth enveloped you, a perfect contrast to the cool ocean breeze.  
“You cold, cariño?” Pedro murmured, his lips brushing the shell of your ear.  
“Not even a little,” you replied, turning your head to catch his eyes. They sparkled, reflecting the fiery colors of the horizon.  
His fingers traced slow, idle circles against your stomach. “Good. Can’t have you shivering out here, not when I’ve got two perfectly good arms to keep you warm.”  
“You’re too good at this,” you teased, smiling as you reached up to brush a strand of hair from his forehead.  
“Good at what?” he asked, his tone playful, though his eyes held that familiar, unspoken intensity that always made your heart skip a beat.  
“At making me feel like the luckiest person in the world,” you said softly.  
Pedro’s lips curved into a slow smile, and he leaned down to press a tender kiss to your temple. “That’s funny,” he murmured, “because that’s exactly how I feel about you.”  
The golden light of the sunset cast a halo around his face, and you couldn’t help but reach up, cupping his cheek as you brought his forehead to yours. “I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing you say things like that.”  
“You’d better not,” he said, his voice warm and teasing, though there was an edge of vulnerability beneath it. “Because I’m not planning on stopping.”  
“I’ll love you forever,” Pedro whispered, his lips ghosting against your ear as the first stars began to peek through the darkening sky.  
You tilted your head back to meet his gaze fully, the world around you falling away. “You promise?”  
He cupped your face in his hands, his thumb brushing tenderly over your cheek. “I promise,” he said, his voice steady and filled with so much certainty it made your chest ache in the best way.  
His lips found yours in a kiss that was soft and lingering, filled with a sweetness that felt endless. When he pulled back, he pressed another kiss to your forehead before tucking you closer to him.  
The night deepened, and the group eventually wandered back to the cozy beachfront hotel. Pedro’s hand never left yours as you made your way to your shared room, the two of you moving in quiet, comfortable synchronicity.  
Inside, the room was dimly lit, the glow of a single bedside lamp casting a warm, intimate light over the space. The sound of the waves was faint through the open balcony doors, and the scent of salt air mingled with the faintly floral perfume you’d spritzed on earlier.  
Pedro closed the door behind you and turned to face you, his expression soft but unmistakably intent. “You know,” he said, stepping closer, “I meant it. Every word I said out there.”  
You tilted your head, giving him a playful look. “Even the part where you said you’d never get tired of me stealing the covers?”  
“Especially that part,” he said with a grin, his hands finding your waist and pulling you flush against him. “Though I might need extra cuddles as compensation.”  
You laughed softly, your hands sliding up his chest to rest on his shoulders. “I think that can be arranged.”  
His grin faded, replaced by something deeper, more serious, as his eyes searched yours. “I love you,” he said, the words simple but carrying the weight of everything he felt. “So much that sometimes it scares me.”  
You leaned up, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “I love you too. And you don’t have to be scared, Pedro. You’ve got me.”  
His lips claimed yours in a kiss that was slow and deliberate, his hands splaying across your back as he pulled you closer. The kiss deepened, his lips parting to taste yours, and you felt the warmth of him everywhere.  
He backed you gently toward the bed, his movements unhurried, as if savoring every moment. The backs of your knees hit the edge, and you sank onto the soft mattress, pulling him down with you.  
Pedro’s hands roamed, his touch reverent as his lips moved from your mouth to your jaw, then down the column of your neck. “Tell me if I’m going too fast,” he murmured against your skin, his voice low and husky.  
“You’re perfect,” you whispered, threading your fingers through his hair and tugging lightly to bring his lips back to yours.  
His breath hitched at your words, and you felt the weight of his love in every kiss, every touch. The world outside faded away, leaving just the two of you wrapped in each other, lost in a moment that felt infinite.  
Pedro pulled back briefly, his forehead resting against yours as his fingers laced with yours. “You’re my everything,” he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper.  
“And you’re mine,” you replied, your heart full to bursting.  
And as the night stretched on, the love between you grew even deeper, wrapping around you both like a warm, unbreakable cocoon.
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