#<- doesnt have family and thinks of friends as the only thing ill ever have

[tiredtriedfailures]

im so unwell im wearing the ring my friend got me. for emotional support. like a corny movie protagonist with his dead wife.

[psychabolition]

You talk about getting rid of the psychiatric system. But what do you propose should be done instead? /gen

I'm going to tell you a story . I once knew someone called Tim. When I met him he had already spent most of his life in drug addiction treatment centres, psych wards and prisons until he later ended up in a forensic psych ward. After he did LSD he 'never came down from his bad trip' and got diagnosed w schizophrenia. This diagnosis +the addict - diagnosis justified so many fucking human rights violations - it got him locked up, drugged up, strip searched, his privacy violated on a daily basis, isolated away from society and everyone he knew because apparently he needed to be 'saved from this illness in his brain that makes him do/think/feel' things he otherwise wouldnt and because he needed to be 'punished' into being a 'functioning', 'productive' (read: profit-generating) member of 'society' (read: hegemonic cultural norms & forms.) This is what psychiatry does - it doesnt help, it locks us up and tortures us. I dont need to be able to name alternatives to this lol . This is the worst possible way of treating anyone ever. It would help immensely to literally just STOP doing this. Even 'sane' people would go insane in places like these.

So the alternative to acting like an absolute asshole towards people who struggle severely and who dont have a place in society would be to 1)not isolate them away from society and 2)not torture them 🙏 . It would be to get rid off the psychologists' individual and the psychiatric systems' general saviour complex that only results in abusing people bc they act like the people who are labelled as mentally ill are (=their minds/brains) responsible for at fault for their own struggles. Instead we could show solidarity with each other and try to built a world where everyone has a place in and is valued as a person and where the suffering/madness of an individual is not seen as an incentive to literally abuse and socially ostracize them.

And @ everyone dont come at me w 'not everyone has these experiences w psychiatry' - any time you talk about systemic criticism you have to look at the most marginalized experiences. When talking about police defunding/prison abolition we also talk about police brutality that black disabled poor people face . And yes not everyone has bad experiences w every single cop , still ACAB . ALSO dont come at me with 'I know there ar GOOD psychologists who Actually want to help' ,1) fuck their savior complex 2)what individuals motives are for joining this system of oppression isnt necessarily the purpose of a system. The purpose of a system is what it does. The police isnt there to protect us, psychiatry isnt there to help us. We only have each other.

So, what you can do right now to get rid off the psychiatric system in your community? How can we stop relying on this authoritarian system that abuses and incarcerates so many of us ??

I think its important to educate each other on our rights. Because then we have the knowledge on what not to say in a therapy session so we dont get incarcerated or what to do when we are questioned by cops/psychs to see if we are 'at risk' or what to do when we or friends of us are already incarcerated so they can get out of there as fast as possible. Also educating your friends/family on psychiatric propaganda helps - a common myth is that if you dont 'look for signs' and call the cops to institutionalize a friend they might kill themselves. All while institutionalization/incarceration increases the risk of suicide extremely. This is important to know so no one in our communities calls the cops on us when we're doing really bad. Also educating each other on the biomedical model so everyone understands that we dont have an illness that we need to be 'saved from' (depression for example) or 'punished for' (aspd, drug addiction) and that we (=our minds/brains) arent to blame for our struggles Etc.

If you know that youre sometimes in extreme mental distress/pain you could also make a crisis plan with friends so you dont need to rely on the psych system - like for example the plan could be that a friend calls in sick for work/university and then stays at your place for 3-4days and is there for you/drinks tea w you, goes for a walk together w you, smokes a joint with you together until you feel better and arent acutely suicidal anymore. (Its also best to include several people in this plan bc it can get really overwhelming for 1 person). You can als include things in the plan like asking your friends to take away all knives in your apartment if you want to. Or if its a more permanent 'crisis' then a plan on how to move together with friends to get away from your nuclear family/abusive partner (just as an example).

Access to medication, knowledge on how to get off of them if you dont want to take them anymore and freedom and proper education in your decision on taking, weaning off or on staying on medication is not given in the psych system. So how do we change that? A common reason for 'crisis' is trying to wean off of psychiatric drugs (a lot of people get suicidal or psychotic bc of the withdrawal for example - depends on the meds, dosis and since how long youve been taking them though). You could plan when to do this together w friends. Theres anti psych guidelines on how to do this safely - a lot of psychiatrists tell you that you need to stay on meds no matter if you want to or not and they often dont know how to wean off of them or think youre 'at risk' and incarcerate you if you mention that you want to stop taking your meds -this highly depends on how stigmatizing your diagnosis is (=schizophrenia/bipolar are good examples for highly stigmatized ones) or if youre sb who get racialized for example (bc then psychs immediatly perceive you as more of 'a risk'). You could make a plan for example where you ask your friends to stay w you through this by living at your apartment w you for a few days, cooking meals for you and keeping your apartment clean. And then another friend of you could come by each day after work (for example) and also be there since its probably a lot for one person. Also LYING to psychiatrists is always a good idea. For example when youre trans and want to access gender affirming care its important not to mention any diagnoses in general but especially diagnoses like autism, schizophrenia, psychosis or PDs and then literally lie about yourself if necessary. You always know who you are and what you need best. Also dont blindly trust your psych on what medications go well together - look it up yourself !!! Theres a 'drug interaction checker' online where you can see if it might be dangerous to take certain meds at the same time. Also READ on what side effects are possible - make a diary for when you start your medication on how youre feeling/doing . Some changes are awful but still hard to notice bc youre thinking that it could also be a 'normal' worsening of your mental state that you think you might also have without meds. Also depending on what physical conditions you have/had you cant take some medications without it being dangerous - READ the whole instruction paper thing that always comes with your meds and/or google it !!

Also literally just sharing/collecting tips on how to cope w different struggles + harm reduction guides (suicidality, drug addiction, ...) is very helpful. There is a lot of community sourced material already out there.

I understand that the reason most people are severely struggling is because they dont have a community (=like when you only have 1 partner or 1 friend ,because youre (still) legal property of your parents, because youre stuck in a nuclear family,...) and not only because psychiatry divides our communities by blaming us for our struggles and isolating and stigmatizing us. Building community and relying on each other is the only way to get rid off the psychiatric system in the end. If we already had a real community that we could rely on, all the psych wards would be empty and therapists wouldnt exist. This is not the first step, its the solution.

Als there are already alternative institutions (that are already in practice) that are a replacement for psychiatry.

This is probably the answer that youre looking for 😂. I dont really care about these kind of anti psych concepts and practices since they seem out of my reach atm. Ik that theres an anti psych house in berlin whos guiding principles are 1)community care /peer support 2)full autonomy for everyone there and its specifically for people who are running away from psychiatric violence.

Other alternatives that I havent really looked into yet are : bethel house , peer respites, new models of therapy

[zorosnavigator]

Timebomb fics rec

A lot of timebomb fics are hiding through a lot of CaitVi/JayVik tagged works on ao3 (while many are also CV orJV centric) so i made this rec post for everyone who dont want to spent 1 hour scrolling or missing some of them bc you're filtering other ships!! (sorry for the short summaries/ i didnt write my thoughts as thoughtfully as i would have liked because.yk.time and all. update chapter count/add of new fics every week)

AU/crossovers fics

Je t'aime (Je t'attends) 3 chapter, WIP.

Hunger games x Timebomb/Arcane, the way the system of the games from the og novels are mixed in the Arcane universe is really masterful, the writer dont lose too much time explaining it but you understand the dynamics of the 2 cities and the characters perfectly anyway.

Where would you be now ? by enaven 5/6 chapters, WIP.

family/modern AU, timebomb feels, Ekko and Jinx are Isha's parents, CaitVi are just silly aunts and i'll never stop recommending this fic

you're the best thing to ever happen to me (but also the worst thing to ever happen to me) by grey_toiletpaper ( @greytoiletpaper ) 3/8 chapters, WIP. Rated T.

Timebomb inspired by 10 things i hate about you.

We Moved Into a Real House (a Wild Field Behind it) by smokesatellite 3/10 chapters. WIP. Rated T.

Modern AU, Timebomb roommates/friends to lovers, Isha is a foster kid...you know where this is going .. (Ekko as a nurse is not something i expected but its surprisingly good. Also the in law feud between Jinx and Cait is very funny)

s1 fics

Silco is less of an asshole

The Heart of Zaun by 1ts_Br1tney_B1tch 8/ chapters. WIP.

or: Silco try to rally the Firelights to his cause (in this case, Zaun - he's much more involved in doing better for his city than in the show) but of course they're bound to have some..tension between them, since they hate him - and Shimmer. (it has the good parent Silco tag so i'd say that all in all, this Silco is a little less...Silco than in Arcane, but manage to keep some of the bite he has in canon...) i only read 2 chapters, and what i can say is that it does a good job with the general cast, the interactions between Silco/Ekko-Firelights are believable, i think the one thing that could have weird me out is the way Silco is said to be 'proud' of the Firelights in the summary (for me 'pride' is something he'd reserve for Jinx yk?? anyway i stop the rambling) . The Timebomb relationship has more or less the same push and pull as in the show, with Ekko thinking about the girl Jinx used to be/ Ekko being a link to the past before Jinx and all that entail...so yeah, i'm loving it!

Powder doesnt become Jinx

The Alpha Command by typewriter_in_galaxy 13 chapters. WIP. Rated E.

ABO/Reverse AU where Powder doesnt become Jinx and is raised by Viktor, Ekko is taken in by Silco. btw i dont read a lot of abo fic (im very nickpick) but this one does every characters justice, and actually dwelve in depth in the abo universe.. (everything by typewriter is good to be honest, but my favorite thing is how they write Powder, who even when she doesnt become Jinx, is still shaped by a very violent world/trauma and it shows through her mental health issues and very, very low self worth/need to prove herself. )

everything's better with a friend by typerwriter_in_galaxy 7chapters. Completed. Rated E.

Timebomb centric rewrite of Arcane, Jinx is Powder, she doesnt fall under Silco's hand (or in his arms precisely), Ekko is Ekko, and 1, i need to hug Powder, 2 she deserves the world and 3 the characterization of everyone, everyone is so brillantly written and the timebomb relationship (damn even the CaitVi one too) oh, the timebomb of it all... they feel so, so real and it hurts, Powder's insecurities, her mental illness, her guilt, her need to prove herself but in same time she doesnt feel herself worth of anything (or anyone) good... just.read it. read it, because i just did, after like 2 years of not doing that and. im like mad bc why didnt i??? but in same time so grateful to just discover it now, taking my sweet little time reading it; it rewinded my brain its amazing, (like this work in another fandom, the first time i read this rebelcaptain's fic A Love song by skitzofreak - did i just linked it for you to read even tho its a timebomb rec post??? yes. yes i did. thats how much i love, adore, worship this one guys - so everything's better made me think a lot of this TB fic, and also of RC (the abandonment issues, thinking that you have to leave first before everyone leave you, Jyn and Powder damn).

Shattered Web by Firewolf2132 1 chapter. WIP. Rated M.

you know how everyone make the comparaison between Ekko and Miles?? well, the author found a way for Ekko transform into a spiderman that feels right in the arcane verse (end of act1) and damn its so good. Ekko slowly morphing and gaining his powers while everyone still have some focus on them (mostly Powder), but it still manages to keep the suspense of the fate of other characters. fabulous. author note: [I have seen so many comparisons between Ekko and Miles and a lot of fanart. So it felt that I had to do this. I can't promise future chapters right now (busy), but I am eager to see if this inspires any stories with a similar premise.]

S2 fanfics

fics covering Timebomb moments between ep 8 Ekko saving her /they painted each other and ep9

Go Back For Her by A_Lily_In_The_Moonlight 3/3 chapters. Completed. Rated E.

Ekko's pov -i only read 1 chapter - we see his thought's process on his relationship with Powder AU/ Jinx, and how he came to the conclusion he must go back to her. the moment where he help Jinx with his Z-drive comes a little differently than in ep8 (well, the aftermath) aaand another fic where Jinx's grief over Isha's death shatters me, the pain and the self loathing/blaming from Jinx really devastating.

I dont believe in God, but i believe you're my savior by mquesterminds One shot. Rated T

[summary: every time Ekko has to rewind time to stop Jinx it cuts to a different moment from throughout their love story because I'm allergic to happiness the moments covering their shared past really make their present 10 times sadder.]

I'm sure we're taller in another dimension by hallwayheart One shot. Rated M. i have nothing to say because i'm still processing what i just read.ty.

Fires That Were Set by ilophilia ( @ilophilia on tumblr) 1 chapter. WIP.

the conversation after Ekko helped Jinx in episode 8. Loved the banter, the emotions (the grief is there and its important to feel it but damn i want to hug them so bad). They tell each other what happened when Ekko was gone, and you feel the distance/the closeness, near intimacy building again and its beautiful..

Hope is a winged beast by Grey_ Unicorn 4 chapters. WIP. Rated E.

prepare you tissues because i was myself not ready for chapter 3 and the emotional wreck of Jinx processing her grief. but here we are.

fics from AU Powder pov/exchange between Jinx and AU Powder

what we left behind by re_dragon_rising 3/3 chapters. Completed. Rated T.

Powder traverses to the og arcane universe 1 year after Ekko's visit. (the insight into her life after Ekko leaves is wholesome and also give the reader a glimpse of the Mylo/Claggor/Powder siblings dynamics + the impact of Vi's death on them. really great. a little sad too.)

The other Ekko by GrammarThyEnemy Oneshot. General audience.

Powder knows this Ekko is not her Ekko.

memento vivere by fuwaaa 1/2. WIP. General audience.

covering the AU episode, Powder knows something's up with Ekko.

See Ya On The Other Side by moth_dust 3/5 chapters, WIP. Rated T.

Powder also travel to the og universe.

these forgotten faces by whippindippin ( @whippindippin on tumblr too!) 6 chapters, WIP. Rated T.

Jinx and Powder body swap and its both the worst and best thing that could ever happen to either of them. great reading and their reaction on point.

Isha is alive

Astrantia by AelinCreativ ( @aelincreativ they're on tumblr too!) 5 chapters, WIP. Rated T.

canon divergence where Ekko saves Isha. a lot of angst. but also a lot of happiness. so we can cry while smiling along with them. great. ty author!!

Ankle-Biter by darkfire1220 8/9 chapters, WIP. Rated M.

Isha is Jinx's biological daughter, Silco is a not so bad (grand) father, and their mother/daughter bond is one a the greatest thing ever. (very slowburn timebomb). Also Vi. i love you Vi.

post s2

we made our peace with weariness (and let it be) by The_FlamingTiger 3/3 chapters. Completed. Rated M.

Ekko and Jinx reconnect in Bilgewater..(and Jinx goes to therapy. that too. its nice)

I don't believe in God (But I believe that you're my savior) by yeonatsu Oneshot, general audience.

Ekko is mourning.

this hunger for love won’t disappear by Amuria Oneshot, rated T.

Months after the battle for Piltover, Ekko begins to dream of Powder. He thinks it’s his grief playing tricks on him. She has different theory.

Francesca (Do You Think I'd Give Up?) by PoetProlific 2 chapters. WIP.

Ekko tries searching for Jinx...(with the help of Caitlyn, yep. and its well done, because I think Cait would help, for Vi. And i love how Ekko-Cait's dynamics might evolve because of this..)

So I met him there and told him I believe by ijustwanttoreadinpeace 3 chapters, WIP. Rated T.

Jinx begins a new life in Bilgewater but is forced to come back... (edit: be warned, this is now an orphan account so idk if there will be more chapters.)

all the 6 timebomb one shot by atabex (the other fics are not timebomb) they're all rated E and oh boy is it worth it. most of these oneshot are gut wrenching and do smut + characters so well... the most recent one is just Ekko and AU Powder ahem doing the boombayah on the rooftop, but yk, with bits of sad and tragedy here and there.

i'm a little ashamed i'm only adding it now but every TB os fics by @shroomystar is 🤌 nothing else to add because each one of them are good. so. (if you want the explicit one-shots it's here and if you prefer without, it's here )

[djtommotomlinson]

last november i was in china when my little brother called me and told me to come home. over summer my nan, my mums mum, had passed away before i had managed to get back to see her and my mum, my best friend in the world, had a heart attack soon after. i was with her then. we went to the funeral. she got better. we saw robbie williams live. we went out drinking and to the beach and watched coyote ugly and la la land together, our fave movies.

when my brother called me to tell me mum had cancer i knew it was bad. i lost my best friend to cancer when we were just 16 years old. thats never a good word. but its my mum. and to quote her days after her own mums death 'i always knew one day my mum would die but i never knew she would, like, actually die'.

i knew in the back of my head why i was going home but i didnt believe it. i watched spiderverse for like the third time on the plane. i went to grab my suitcase and laughed when i realised i was at the wrong shanghai - gatwick conveyor belt. who knew there were two at almost the same time.

then my brother, my baby brother, who is 30 next year but was 28 and always our baby brother, called me and my life is never ever going to be the same. i knew the moment he called. and i sat on the floor at gatwick airport shaking and people kept coming over to ask if i was okay and finally my sister and my aunties, my mums sisters, arrived and they were let into the baggage area when they explained and picked me off the floor.

i dont think this is a grief that has settled yet. i was meant to see louis that night. i havent listened to a song by him since despite his music getting me through some of my hardest times. my denial, she'll walk through the door and say this was all a joke, phase went on for months after we planned and executed a funeral and wake on the beach in malta. i made a great playlist, i wrote a great eulogy. i did that but it didnt properly sink in why.

i still, almost a full year on, wake up and think about messaging her to tell her how im feeling and check in on her.

my mum used to send me one direction news she found on facebook every day. harrys got a new album emmy did you know? and i was like no mum wow thank you (of course i already knew). she loved niall and we were going to see him live together. she wasnt a big fan of louis' music but ached for what he'd been through. i woke up the day after hearing about liam expecting a text from her checking in because she got me 1d tickets in 2014 for my 23rd birthday and she brought me merch and the dvd of the movie -

my mum who hated the beatles because they were too mainstream but loved what i loved because i loved it and was passionate about it. god she would have been crushed for me today. she would have been heart broken.

and i think this has hit me like a train not only because everyone who knows me knows how much i loved liam as if he was my own friend, but also because this past year has been so full of grief i dont always know how to get out of bed. my dads mum passed a few months ago. my family are wrecked with it. this past year has been a nightmare we can't get out of.

i always related to liam as someone who was bullied at school and as someone who suffers from mental illness and has suffered from alcoholism, thankfully, for me, something ive managed to come back from and im sober and i always hoped for that for him. its such a hard fucking mountain to climb and i didn't have to deal with the fame side of it and this whole other thing he had to carry. i always wanted him to get better but in the back of my head i had this feeling, i had this fear that i would one day log into tumblr and see the worst.

i still cant, and im sure for a long time won't, believe this real. thats one of my boys. we were very much meant to get old together. i wanted to see him get better. i cant begin to comprehend the fact he wont have that chance. this still doesnt feel real to me man. thats my boy.

just a few days ago I was in a convenience store and they were playing heart meets break and i was jamming and excited to hear my boy in a store. i keep remembering its happened, and i look at the photo on my bedside of me and my mum at the robbie williams concert and i could really do with her right now. a link to a facebook article and her over use of emojis - a shocked and crying face and a broken heart. because what else can express this?

i know i didnt know him but i always had the comfort of knowing of him, of listening to his music and watching his videos and feeling less alone in a cruel and lonely world.

its okay to be a fucking mess, if you can take time out please do. i wish this world allowed more of that. after my mum everyone had to go back to jobs and life and it still blows my mind that i was walking down the street then and today and everything was the same. the world should pause but it doesn't.

at the end of all of this, one day this might settle and make sense but right now it doesnt at all and thats how these things work. i love you all, this is not something i thought we would have to face until we had all grown old and spent all of our money on reunion tickets and seen our boys grow old and live their lives.

give people you love a hug, tell people you love that you care about them, work out problems and differences if you can and make the most of it. you never know how much time you have.

[silly-little-soul]

SDV Highschool AU

A/N - in celebration of my graduation today!!

Very rushed and not formatted properly cause I’m at prom rn and writing this on my phone I’ll fix it later but like i wanted to post sth for the occassion

-

Summary: sdv highschool au, the ones under the +++ are x reader

Characters: Harvey, Shane, Elliot, Haley (cause theyre my favs to write for)

Warnings: drug mention

~~~~~~~~~~~

HARVEY

- Big nerd

- He’s planning to study medicine so of course he puts accordingly much effort

- Awkward as fuck icl

- Everyone lowkey loves him cause he’s always really helpful

- Aka almost the entire class just copies his homework

- Lives off coffee in every life and scenario

- (One of the) best in class and beloved by the teachers but not annoying about it

- If y’all wanna act like there wasn’t any homework in front of the teacher cause no one did it (except him ofc bcs NERD) he’ll totally play along

- Which is probably why the whole reason it worked

- Some ppl def have a crush on him

- But he’s just so awkward and oblivious… I love him

- Also not rlly into the kind of dating that’s most common among teens? Does that make sense??

+++

- So for you, let’s say you’ve been his friend since forever, best friends perhaps

- He’s had a crush on you so long but has like no idea how to go about it

- And you think he’s not interested cause he has friendzoned you so hard multiple times before

- It was a panic reaction don’t blame him

- I can picture you coming together at sone school dance and it’s like really cliche

- I’ll make these longer later I’m sorry

-

SHANE

- stoner

- Like sorry but

- Maybe it’s my Connor Murphy obsession or maybe I’m right

- I’m basing this v much on mentally ill Shane ik that backstory only semi much works with a highschool setting but we dont rlly know abt pre mental illness shane so

- Generally not bad at school he just has intense down phases where he completely falls behind (relatable)

- Works at some fast food chain and hates it but yk money is money

- No one ever shows up for parent teacher talks bcs he doesnt want the school to know about his family and his family about school yk

- Quiet most of the time

- Mean when talked to

+++

- But also like he doesn’t rlly mean it with some people you just gotta po ker if he does for you and talk to him

- Good news: you’re very much an exception

- Phew

- I’m thinking forced project or something

- No actually I’m thinking one of you is the others dealer

- Probs starting as a kinda fwb thing that becomes serious

- There’s sm potential here icl

- I’m gonna rewrite all of this next week and get more into it

-

ELLIOT

- The weirdest kid in the grade but beloved by all

- Writes a lot, probably started a club that’s related to that somehow

- Wins a lot of those lil writing competitions schools do

- A romantic, hands out flowers or something to people on Valentine’s

- Like super mysterious and no one can tell if he does it on purpose or if it just kinda is like that

- Def has some ppl crushing on him

- Has been ppls secret admirer before

- Except it’s not rlly secret bcs who else would do allat

+++

- So when he falls for you it’s like that too

- You get mysterious letters and flowers from an admirer

- Except it’s not mysterious bcs Elliot everyone knows no one else does that!!!

- You pretend not to realize a while tho cause it’s sweet

- And then after a but you just give him a secret admirer letter back

- Even if it’s not quite as poetic as his

- He appreciates it sm cause it’s so rare people match his energy

- You’re couple goals but also lowkey make ppl sick with all your sap

-

HALEY

- Pretty popular

- She’s very confident and can be a bit brash so you might get the idea she’s a typical mean girl but she’s actually pretty sweet

- Especially with the girls

- You might get a comment about your messy makeup but best believe she’s fixing it up for you

- Girl in trouble? She’s right there without hesitation

- Has told so many of the guys off before for harassing girls or not taking a hint

- She’s a guardian angle ngl

- A whole bunch of people having a crush on her and it’s getting kinda rough

- If the person is respectful she’s really nice in rejecting them (or at least tries), she was mean about it like once and felt so bad after

- She knows she comes off as pretty harsh and it’s not always intentional yk

+++

- You probably meet through extra activities i forgot the name

- She gets a crush p quickly but like y’all wait till you rlly know you work as a duo before you dare ask her out

- Like you wanna have sth behind your question and what you say yk

- Okay i gotta stop writing but !!!!!! will fix this up and write more next week

- Also send requests or fandom talk please and thank you

[vegantinatalist]

why do you think "wrong body feeling" is related to autism/adhd?

-some autism spaces are seeing such a massive amount of autistic children being harmed by gender ideology that they are finally speaking up and determining that autistic kids need to be protected https://ovarit.com/o/GenderCritical/620071/evidence-based-autism-they-ve-gone-gender-critical

-we know that doctors who are giving gender affirming surgeries are making absolute obscene bank, this is a multibillion dollar industry, we have seen their discussions with eachother where its clear their goal is to make as much money as possible and to get people on whatever treatments take the longest and cost the most. they have full incentive to manipulate as many people as possible into believing this will help them and the most manipulatable people are children, scared parents, and some neurodivergent people/pw mental illnesses.

-personal/anecdotal, but when i was a kid there was a school i didnt go to but my friend did and i visited once. it was almost entirely populated with autistic students and every single one of them used neopronouns or believed they were trans and it was very cultlike, it was weird how the school practically only accepted these types of kids and i think they were either trying to protect these kids or were grooming them to follow gender ideology religiously. they even had breaks mid class where they would talk about it daily. every trans person ive ever met was autistic and ive met many -i have multiple autistic family members and i know a lot about what they experience. autistic people often experience discomfort just 24/7 in general, often without them being able to tell exactly what it is. all kinds of sensory things can bother them. being unable to communicate/being misunderstood is a common thing as well. being perceived also seems to be very stressful for them in general, even if they arent abused when young. i have watched with my own eyes how they tried to cope with this across their lifetimes. ive seen them as children trying to explain it by claiming they actually must be dogs or aliens. ive seen them as adults putting their complete faith in all manner of random bs explanations in hopes it will bring them understanding and salvation from their unending discomfort and feelings of isolation and being misunderstood. it is not at all difficult to imagine an autistic youth or adult stumbling into gender ideology and being convinced that transitioning is the answer. much of this also applies to adhd and sufferers of cptsd who are struggling to gain a sense of control over their bodies and mind after being terribly abused.

Im not saying all people who identify as trans are autistic/adhd and im not saying autism/adhd being the cause of something means it doesnt exist. im just saying i think for MANY trans people the root of gender dysphoria is actually just related to their neurodivergence and there are better ways to treat it.

Another example of a similar situation, is eating disorders and bpd. We know pw bpd are very likely to have eating disorders and a common thing you get educated on when you are learning about how to help ppl with bpd or eating disorders, is that you should first find out if they are neurodivergent in some way and get them treatment for that first. its like step #1. or if you know they have bpd, TREAT THE BPD FIRST and dont fixate on the eating disorder, and likely not only will the eating disorder be relieved but the laundry list of other issues related to bpd will get better as well. this is a huge problem with bpd- it often comes with so many other behavioral issues and physical pains that people get distracted and never treat the root problem. i think the same thing is going on here with autism/adhd and gender fixation. its a very similar thing. "my body is wrong, i must do these harmful things because, although it hurts, it hurts more to do nothing". but there is a third option. and people are not considering it, theyre going backwards and considering this third option offensive/an attack. understandable, because a lot of people are religious self righteous pricks and act severely smug about telling others they know whats best for them. i consider those people just as much a part of this problem, so i want yall to know i dont think anyone has any right to force any specific treatment on you or deny you the right to do what you think is best for you. this is just my experience and my advice and the warnings i want to give, especially about these doctors. and im also here on this blog to say that while it is your right to do what you want to do with your own body, it isnt your right to violate sex segregated space rules, those are womens rights that i want to defend. your rights end where others rights begin etc etc.

[mako-neexu]

[own interpretation/only for those who can forgive]

daddy kink jokes and getting "dad-zoned" aside, dantes does have a reasonable explanation for the behavior and stance. and maybe thats why i like writing it so much into my fanfics. i dont understand why people dislike this... (is it because of pseudo-incest??? age gap???) but i like it so ill make a post with my thoughts. cut below

because it does come back to the original novel, where when he was incarcerated, his betrothed was stolen away from him and married another bc of pressure, his father believed in him until the end but died without ever seeing his son again... and then there is the Abbe, whom was also his 'fate' and had treated him like a son. so i really get that Abbe Faria who was his light and guide during his time alive would be tremendous inspiration and hope to his heart that has tasted the bowels of despair. coupled with studying under the old man, there was no doubt he truly picked up a lot of things from the Abbe... but also as he is his own person, dantes became a demon of vengeance, one who is compassionate and understanding as well towards victims of circuimstance and highly advocates for determination and personal retribution when wronged.

now, towards fujimaru ritsuka - constantly told to us by the narrative to be the Avenger, Count of Monte Cristo's fate, star, light, accomplice, and "one and only" - his care for them is highly overprotective and selfless that it ultimately becomes selfish and "evil" because it is at the cost of someone else's blood spilled for their sake. he feels like an overprotective father because that is one of the roles he took upon himself... or rather, what you could consider as "canon" if you aren't including romantic implications. (after all, there is that significant age gap that leads many people to simply think that he is a "partner in crime" (platonic) / "older brother" or best friend / "dad" type if the romantic implication isn't preferred by the player....)

but because in prison tower, guda saved him by letting him be their "Abbe Faria" combined with how their soul is and just how guda thinks of him and treats him, the kind of love he has for Fujimaru Ritsuka, grown further overtime, is a kind of madness where you can call it "poisonous". both to him and guda... because if you also think about it, dantes is far more dangerous than any outer god trying to invade their body and destroy the world theyre living in considering dantes in the waste pit and the amount of things sakurai hinted...

one of the factors that also contribute to dantes "dad-zoning" (not really) guda is because guda's family was basically massacred so i think he wants to ease the pain a little bit by being the 'father' in the fake tokyo for them because he cant recreate people guda barely remembers/or isnt in the surface on the bleached earth considering everyone is inside chaldeas, but also being the vengeance demon FROM the book, he doesnt know how to act in any other way other than being the man that was thrown into prison, met the Abbe, and escaped alive. the novel is what the world remembers so those parts of himself that was the "Avenger" was engraved unto the world. in order to help guda, the only way he could do it was through an Avenger like him would. and the man who was saved that is Edmond Dantes's hope and fate- his inspiration is Abbe Faria, whom saw him as a son... and guided him like a light. because with that desire to guide as a light the same way dantes was saved, he put himself into the father role due to how strong his feelings are for fujimaru ritsuka.

even towards haydee, she was constantly referred to as a 'child' throughout the novel because of the age difference until haydee really pressed on and told dantes she loves him romantically. so even to haydee, he felt like a parental figure first even with the master-servant relationship (a time where he can finally have things in control and do what he must to protect those he loves) and to abbe faria, he felt like a friend and a son to the priest (a time where he needed guidance and knowledge) and combined with his personal experiences, he wants what is best for his accomplice.......so i think its really understandable why he would be so close to an "overprotective father" to guda.

its a tough kind of love, but also, so overwhelmingly sweet. where if you struggle and do your best, you will be greatly rewarded no matter what. but if there are factors beyond you that even you cant do, dantes, no matter how incomprehensible and unreasonable he may be, is there to be the fire that will pave your path clear. just as long as you yourself walk it and let him guide you through it. very much like a father...

[arcaneconfessions]

re: "*gets on stage, slaps papers on the floor* it would be better if Ekko remained on his beliefs that powder was gone."

YES like she very likely killed his best friend(s) he's the only person/character on the show who isnt given so much as a hint on his personal platonic life and we know she killed/kills firelights. he's been in a vigilanti army general position since he was a kid-he's still a teenager just barely a technical adult in the legal sense. him clinging onto the hope that Powpow is still in there somewhere, after she definetely killed people he cared about by choice, that all he has to do is play therapist good enough for her to get brought out. it's not healthy. when does he get to be in therapy? when does he get to have someone love him unconditionally? when does he get a safe person to be himself around? no. he has to be the perfect therapist for jinx. he has to repeatedly get blown up by her.

i understand that jinx is a mentally unwell teenager and i get that she's been made into a killing machine by her surroundings since she was a child. but Ekko isnt also in that situation? we see how jinx is desperate to nurture people (though she did parentify Isha im not holding it against her but rather acknowleging that she doesnt know how to help people) and help people. she even helps people who hate her. never once did she ever help Ekko. he always has to help her. he always has to be the one to put "their" (HIS) differences asside he's always the one who has to see the good in her. he's the one who had to innitiate the game on the bridge. where has she done that for him? in the show-in her own universe with him, WHERE has she, jinx, done that for him?

to be clear im not anti timebomb, nor am i anti Jinx, i see why people like it i dont think jinx (the concept) is bound to abuse Ekko- i just think the show mishandled it and therefore the fandom tends to follow suit. i think Ekko is treated like he's older than he actually is and is given more responsibility and less room to be a flawed hurt person than the rest of the cast- it frankly feels like the narrative had to "teach him a lesson" for having the oh so tedious uptight and "ableist" (fandoms words not mine) boundaries of "you killed people i love. you and i were friends once- i offered you a place to get away from the man ordering to kill us my found family and your own family, and you chose to stay with the murderer and kill good people i found a home with" just cause she's mentally insane. he's allowed to have complex feelings on that. but the show/season 2 forbids it.

Jinx was a child but so was Ekko.

narratively Jinx should have been the one to make ammends with Ekko it is literally in her character to want to help people even if they hate her she just really fucking sucks at it - she didn't have to be suicidal for him to give her forgiveness he didn't have to be blown up with her AGAIN (the bridge) several times. the show chose to make her suicidal because they didn't want to do the work in actually having her work on herself. if i had a nickel for every person blowing up their love interest in a suicidal threat forgiveness under duress "rEdEmPtIoN" arc i would have MANY nickels. ILL SAY IT! IT'S A LAZY HARMFUL STUPID ASS TROPE AND ARCANE SEASON ONE IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN TO HAVE DEVOLVED INTO USING IT BY SEASON TWO. i don't hate timebomb in it's entirety it can be good i don't hate jinx i just really fucking hate this trope. i know what it's like to feel like you're beyond repair and you need to "go" and i also know that feeling this way doesn't make things better and people shouldn't feel like your blood is on their hands if they don't give you another chance THATS why i hate the trope. what is this going to do to Ekko who already has the inevitable survivours guilt that comes with leading the firelights who she killed why did the show have to teach him a lesson?????? AAAAAAAAA

i sound like a broken record dont i.. IM LOOSING IT MAN I REALLY AM.

the au episode was cute. i just hate how it was used to force Ekko through basically being punished and taught a lesson by the narrative god for "not giving jinx a chance" or "not accepting jinx" jinx is very much capable of making amends she's allowed to try

Jinx is not real, NO ONE IN THE SHOW IS REAL they chose to make her suicidal TO BE FORGIVEN because they, the writers, didn't want to put in the work. don't get me started on [REDACTED] fucking doppleganger ass season.

[REDACTED]

Im so sorry mod i know i got unhinged. I KNOW THIS IS TOXIC WASTE OF AN ANNON POST and to anyone reading i dont think you're a bad person for liking ANY of the characters or liking the season- you have your reasons, i just have no one irl to discuss this so im still in the stages of grief.

.

[endeavorsbiggesthater]

Dabi headcanons

ooc post moment?? yeah fuck it- yall asked and i shall deliver some dabi headcanons- ill tell you which ones are canon for this blog as not all of them are. if you dont like any of these headcanons i dont care- (i do but shhh) just dont bring it up- ANYWAYS ONTO THE HCS

Dabi runs hot, i dont give a shit what people say his body runs hot and its absolute torture for him, using his quirk makes this so much worse and he often gets dizzy when he reaches a certain point (not me projecting onto dabi a bit shhh) canon to the blog

He's bad at relationships- he doesnt really know how to act in them and so will often mess up or just not know what to say.. his way of showing affection most of the time is through helping the person is his own fucked up way, and a lot of the time it involves murder or arson because thats all he really knows how to do in terms of helping. canon to the blog

He doesnt ever really flirt with people in a non joking way, he'll do it for laughs sure but when it comes to actually flirting he just cant for some reason- if anyone does take his joking seriously he will just sorta go along with it tho. canon to the blog

He's had several hookups in the past but he always cut things off before it could have any emotion involved as he wasnt looking for anything serious at the time. did he kill at least one person because of this? maybe :D canon to the blog

Dabi is terrified of end up like endeavor when it comes to relationships and taking care of people, its why hes bad at them and acts like a disaster as the only frame of reference he has for that stuff is his dad. the last thing he wants to do is make his partner cry or be afraid of him even if he acts like hes super dangerous. canon to the blog

Its not so much a crush but dabi absolutely thinks shiggy is hot once he stops wearing the hand on his face all the time, and he will drive the man insane with the shit he'd say. semi-canon to the blog

He doesnt consider most of the league his family, more he considers them his friends, the only exception for this is toga who he absolutely views as a sister. canon to the blog

If he did manage to kill endeavor he wouldnt know what to do with his life, while he acts like it would just fix things and be the best he knows deep down that he would just feel empty without something to hate and obsess over so deeply.. canon to the blog

He wants to fix things with the rest of his family, especially shoto, however he doesnt know how to bring things up or even where to start. canon to the blog

One night stands are something he's way more comfortable with, relationships are just weird for him and theres too many emotions which he hates, but he likes feeling like someone actually needs him for something, even if its not really anything personal. non canon to the blog

ALRIGHT- those are some bigger ones about how he acts- now for a list of random small ones- all of which are canon

he could have stitched his skin together, he just thought staples looked cooler and fit him more

he isnt a huge fan of animals, but he likes cats more than dogs

his quirk doesnt have an official name, however he calls it cremation

he gets drunk as fuck with twice all the time, the two are drinking buddies and it always ends in some dumb shit

there are a lot of pictures of his family that he keeps in his room, all the ones that have endeavor in them hes been burnt out

while he has good control over his quirk most of the time that absolutely goes out the window when hes feeling anything strong, even if hes laughing too hard he can slightly start smoking

he will go along with stupid shit toga suggests to make her happy

giran has had to get him so many new costumes since he keeps burning them

hes killed far more than 30 people, the 30 is just for innocent people, he doesnt consider heroes nor other villains as innocent, so the real number is much higher

he still feels guilty for killing those children from the hospital he woke up in, they never asked to be there after all

the nomu he used in the forest training camp was partly designed by him, he was the one who asked for all the blades and stuff on it

hes dyed his hair many colors before until he settled on consistently dying it black

homura and natsuo are his favorite siblings

when fuyumi was first learning to cook hed refuse to eat the food she made

he may act like hes just annoyed that the other league members got hurt because it makes his plan harder but in reality hes worried for them and will want to hurt anyone who will hurt them

and finally! he cant taste things super well because his tongue is stapled together, however he can still taste enough to enjoy food

[simplygyuu]

Nouvelle Crown : 23 - Under the Streetlights

synopsis : choi beomgyu, the second prince of the royal choi family doesnt have much of a life outside of his duties. even then hes not allowed to do much, his brother is the crown prince after all. but when he meets you, a regular commoner girl, through his brothers friend soobin he cant help but be intrigued. commoner life is so different from what he knows and you are the only person to treat him like the normal teenager he always longed to be. with you he gets to experience the normal, teenager life behind the backs of his overbearing family.

the two of you sat quietly at the bus stop where you had truly hung out for the first time, happily chatting. beomgyu wasnt supposed to be out, but he didnt care. he needed to see you. plus, he knew yeonjun had his back now.

the crickets chirped and the only light was from the yellow streetlights. there were no people walking around, not this late at night at least. you were completely alone.

"y/n?" you hear beomgyu say and turn to face him when hes already looking at you. theres a small smile on his face, one you can't really decipher. its not his usually shy smile nor is it his mischievous wide one. its too dark to see any of the red color on his face but youre assuming its there. hes been blushing the whole night after all. you softly hum in response, head tilting a bit.

"thank you so much for.. everything." he suddenly begins, turning to almost fully face you. "i..i never knew what it was like to live before i met you. everyday i looked forward to texting you or finding a way to hang out, you fill my mind 24/7," he then nervously chuckles and there, you see his shy smile as he glances away. "i just love you so much... i hope you dont think this is too soon its just, ive never felt like this before. ever. and i want to tell you as often as i can that i love you and you changed my life for the better."

beomgyu almost glows in the dim light, his hair lightly blowing in the wind. you can imagine the blush on his cheeks and you can see the way he slightly gnaws on his bottom lip. his eyes flicker around, landing on you then the grass then his hands and then the cycle repeats. god, you really like him dont you?

without responding to him you tap his cheek to get his eyes on you again. his cheek is warm to the touch as he turns to you and thats when you lean in a bit. its a slow thing as you give him the chance to move, the chance to back away, yet he does the complete opposite. despite his lack of experience he closes the gap between your lips.

the kiss is slow and gentle, just full of love. so, so much love. its not rushed or messy, its not needy or careless. no its romantic, loving, and just so beautiful. beomgyus hand hovers over your waist for a second before he finally places his hand down on your waist and pulls you the slightest bit closer, melting like putty into the kiss. it lasts for a few long seconds but easily feels like an eternity. you could kiss beomgyu for hours if you had the chance to.

you end up breaking the kiss and beomgyu leans his forehead against yours and smiles, eyes crinkling happily. you cant help but giggle softly and he quickly follows suit with a round of chuckles. you lean forward to give him one little peck on the cheek, your mouth hurting from how much you've smiled tonight.

"i love you too, beomgyu. i love you so much"

--------------------------------------------------------------

previous masterlist next

notes : IM SEEING TXT TODAY!!! im so excited and rlly wanted to get this out... AAA IM SO HAPPY IVE BEEN WAITING FOR YEARS TO SEE THEM IN CONCERT!!! anyways IM HOLDING MY PROMISE OF TRYING HARDER TO UPDATE! school ends at the end of next week, so ill only have work and this to do :)

reblogs and replies are really really appreciated and keep me motivated!!

taglist (open) : @mazeinthemoon @pokyloky @run2seob @bluebearybeom @wonioml @rikismiel @yumilovesloona @captivq @soobin-chois @thisisnotjacinta @silvsie @sullystraw @luvsoobs @ddeonudepressions @woncheecks @ioszzn @dudufodd @jaeminanklelicker @strawbrinkofdeath @softcabur @luvsooby @ilovewonyo @kaewonie @sugar5 @itzxvaxella @il0vebeomgyu @angelbythewindow @gyuville @myknifeyourlife @sandhyaaa-aa @beomiebears @vocaloshin @streeete

send me an ask or message to be added to the taglist! i dont add from replies :)

[intertexts]

EPISODE 21 TRIVIA:

- bizly, introing the episode: "welcome to just rolled with it where we answer our generations greatest question: will dakota cole break the law?"

- grizzly: "no, you know what? i think the final villain of prime defenders is william fucking wisp! i think youre playing out a villain backstory and youre going to snap and go batshit crazy" < hehehehehehehehe

- charlie: "i dont think its a secret that william is FOR SURE the most likely to become a villain out of the three of us. i dont see it as a permanent final thing but i definitely think it could happen at some point. i think he would have like a red x teen titans arc" WAHOO

- charlie CURRENTLY has no plans to do this he and bizly have never even discussed it. however he thinks its a possibility. "im playing this kid who is VERY smart and has a lot of ideas, but keeps getting shut down by basically everyone and i think hes starting to get a little desperate"

- they start talking about how when charlie plays william he gets "the Chip Brain" which is a reference to how in riptide bizly makes the most WILD NONSENSE decisions and then afterwards goes "i dont know why i did that i was just so in character and i felt like thats what he would do in the moment. out of character i agree that was fucking stupid why did i do that" << so. charlie gets this playing william too LMAO

- HEY UH. FUCKED UP SENTENCE INCOMING !!! "william has literally seen what happens after you die. thats knowledge that almost NOBODY else in this world has. and i think it makes him values life... less. hes seen that theres more after, hes seen that people kind of stick around, i think life to him is a lot more fragile and messy and less black-and-white, killing or not killing. it doesnt hold the same weight. becoming sort of apathetic and desensitized to the concept of death" << THIS IS AWESOMEEEEE FOR ME

- grizzly says hes glad william and vyncent didnt try to break the doctor out of prison like they thought they would because he genuinely wouldnt know how to play that as dakota

- charlie: "william has gotten so protective of dakota that if in his mind there was ANY chance that his friend would die all because of this guy being in jail over false charges, if that was the direction the conversation was going, william actually right then and there wouldve gotten him out. he couldnt have accepted that a situation like that would lead to losing his friend"

- grizzly: "iiiiii would like to sayyyy. bizly. will i still kick absolute ass if i dont have strength and speed, or will I just be some kind of loser" << bizly says maybe but he wpuld have to play dakota as more of a Regular Guy and just have him train at martial arts really hard

- DISCUSSING A TRAINING ARC AGAIN !!!!! which they think would be fun but they dont want to do another timeskip. (<<me who has future knowledge and knows how they figure this out: :3c)

- one of the biggest reasons keeping grizzly from agreeing to break the doctor out now is because hes really afraid he'll be super bitter against the family and augment himself to have some sort of powers and become a supervillain. and he thinks something like that happening would absolutely CRUSH dakota to a point where he wouldnt know how he would come back from that

- bizly had a real time epiphany, everyone was quiet for a minute and he just went "oh my god. i know exactly how this is gonna work. pick anything you want, i got this. i have a way to make everything work"

- grizzly has NO idea which option hes gonna choose, but he thinks hes leaning toward dakota getting a normal heart and just training really hard at martial arts. charlie and condi are saying that theyre really interested to see dakota before he goes and trains because theyve never seen him *weak* before

- grizzly: "if you ever call dakota stupid in character again ill cry"

charlie: "i mean i only did that because he was putting himself in danger! i think william heard him say shit like 'its cool. its okay ive got two years' and i think he just got genuinely really upset at that. william would rather keep his friend alive than spare his feelings"

- "if william ever did become a supervillain he would *never* hurt dakota" (<< WAUGH)

- charlie was gonna ask the doctor about williams whole decaying thing but decided not to because it didnt feel right in the moment. bizly goes "i mean you already know who you need to talk to about that" to which charlie goes NOOOOOOOOOO bc he is implying. mal

- charlie: "william doesnt wanna talk to mal he pisses him off"

grizzly: "why, because its like looking in a mirror?"

condi and bizly at the same time: "ooooooohhhhhhh"

- grizzly: "god this decision is so fucking hard i feel like i need an adult- OH MY GOD can we go see tide. can i not make my decision and instead we just go see tide"

- condi: "vyncent doesnt really know how to feel about this choice. he wants dakota to be powerful because he knows those powers are really important to him but he also doesnt want his friend to fucking die!"

- GRIZZLY IS TALKING ABOUT THE DEMON HE ATE AGAIN AND BIZLY GOT SO FRUSTRATED THAT HE ACCIDENTALLY REVEALED WILLIAM STUFF:::: "i dont think the demon works how you think it works, its not PHYSICALLY in your stomach it doesnt have a physical form you CANNOT digest it !!!! in this whole campaign, no spirit has been able to wander out and influence the physical world, thats why william is so special as a planeswalker! he is a spirit that has a physical form, he can affect the real world and also be in the spirit world without a guide!"

- theyre discussing the morality of the blake family and grizzly genuinely doesnt know if dakota could process something like this where its sooooo deeply in the grey area, dakota is very black and white he doesnt think he can even understand that right now

SUCH GOOOOD FUCKING TRIVIA THIS EP DUDE!!!!!!! thank u for the foooood. fuck yes a little bowl of seeds for me.

WIWI VILLAIN ARC. PLEASE. PLEASE. YEAH. honestly at this point i know it's going to happen, i just don't know when n how. not even from ur ominous giggling it just feels SO clear to me that he is a guy who can be so desperate and do anything for the people he loves and i... give him One situation where he doesn't have his very fragile support system of two other extremely fucked up teens and their absent dad who he just doesn't wanna disappoint!!! give him one fucking situation where he's separated from them and scared and there's some threat and you fucking KNOW he's going to be Up To Some Shit. i'd bet real money on both the villain or at least morally grey conflict arc AND that general setup being the catalyst.

god. literally all of this stuff is SOOO good i'm fucking LOCKED ON to the other wiwi planeswalker shit-- that's basically what i was thinking? when the planeswalker thing had come up before? but. tasty... before i started 22 my assumption here was then that the decay situation was like. a subconscious... choiiiice? i guess? like. you know. he perceived himself as dead and his body began to reflect that & then he looked more dead so he got more dead etc etc vicious cycle. but. now i'm not sure??????? ALSO. that thing ab his thoughts on death are so fucking tasty. so so good holy shit. makes sense!! makes sense!! there's less gravity to death when it's just a place you can go, there's less gravity to killing when it's not permanent-ending, just shifting someone from one place to another. like, y'know, when u were a kid, and there was someplace u never went very often & so u thought it was Special and Important & then u grew up and figured out it wasn't actually Special and Important and an Occasion to go there, your mom just hated the parking situation or it was a bit too far for a car ride w/ little kids. that's what death is like to william wisp!! head in hands. not even gonna touch on mal rn!!!

anyway. ghostkicksisms................

[pixlokita]

im with you, i hate that it feels like its gregory vs cassie in the fandom rn. theyre KIDS.

i also dont think its gregory in the main(?) ending (there are so many things that make it not make sense for it to be him), and it bothers me so much that people are pouncing on “gregory is evil” - he is a CHILD.

i really hope people dont pester you about drawing them as friends, i personally would love some art from you with them being friends <3 as much as i am a fan of the angst potential of that ending, cassie being tricked by the mimic (grimic? is that actually the canon name..?) one last time to pit her against gregory when really neither side did anything wrong is far moe interesting in concept than “gregorys just evil” could ever be imo.

i personally love feral/menace gregory, but hes not evil - again, hes a kid! and hes been in terrible circumstances! im not sure i could even really be mad if that WAS him in the elevator - a genuinely terrifying threat was released, and he might not be able to trust cassies voice, just like she couldnt trust his. we know cassie was okay, that the mimic wasnt with her (well, aside from the arm), but gregory had no way of knowing any of that.

seemingly, hes with vanessa and freddy. if he risked it and it WAS the mimic and not cassie, he could lose everything and more all over again. i cant imagine being a kid having to make such an awful decision. keep your current family safe, or risk everything in case your best friend somehow made it?

he knows how dangerous the plex is. and i can only imagine how much more dangerous hed expect it to be now. he barely made it out with freddys help, and as far as he knows, cassie doesnt have someone there to help her.

i feel so bad for gregory, both in-game, and in the fandom! he doesnt deserve all this hate.

sorry, that wasnt supposed to be a tangent - my point is im a gregory defender and 100% on your side. i hope no one is a prick about you drawing cassie and gregory as friends. ill personally fight them for u pix i promise

I agree with a lot of what you said tbh and heck dude Gregory is indeed a child, he’s even had to do things he didn’t want to do and got the short end of the stick every time. Cassie is a bean also, like she didn’t deserve to be tricked she didn’t deserve to be traumatized and she didn’t deserve to also get the short end of the stick either. It’s just I just really can’t accept that Gregory would do that to her either and ? If I’m wrong then okay? But like that’s just what I chose to believe and what I chose to draw I don’t get why people have to prove me wrong about it or pull lore nonsense into it to make sure I feel like I’m wrong. I mean =w= even retorting to insults like we’re in kindergarten is just ridiculous?Plus other people being stupid made me give up on interacting with anyone on that particular art piece. I felt like the end of ruin wasn’t satisfying so I drew art to feel better and try to understand it better and people took it personally =w= very mature honestly, they could just make their own art and leave mine alone.

[finnyphcntom]

notorious.

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Chapter One : The Word Hate

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Did he over exaggerate? Yes. But something inside of him just.. felt weird when Dandelion was shamed upon. Geralt wasn't that bad of a dude, especially to Dandelion.

Lambert hated to say- yes, hated, that word again. He hated that he actually enjoyed Dandelion's presence.

--------

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : oh but id lovee to convince you. maybe we can get a lil tipsy and ill go home with you, yeah handsome? ;)'

--------

Lambert was... notoriously known, for many things. What things? Well, the list is long, but here is the simplified version;

Being a bitch.

And then there was... well, thats about it.

He hated, hated, just about... Well, all? Of Geralts friends. Eskel would always say, "hate is such a strong word,"

Well no shit. He knew that, used it for a reason.

Speaking of hate, he hates when they hang out.

He was rather tired of everyone hanging out without inviting him. Yeah, he'd decline with a 'fuck no' or 'i hate triss lol' but, hell, he still wants at least an invite.

But no one bothered to invite him anymore.

They act like he doesnt know, isnt aware, of these events. Hes heard them talk, all because hes 'too angsty.'

Be real. If they had an Aiden, and then said Aiden died, theyd he angsty too.

Which, he will say, Geralt does have his Aiden.

Dandelion.

Lambert hated to say- yes, hated, that word again. He hated that he actually enjoyed Dandelion's presence.

And do you know what he hates even more?

That hes jealous.

He hates that he's jealous, and hates that he doesnt know what over.

Over Geralt? Maybe.

Over Dandelion? Maybe.

The fact that Dandelion gets invited to hangouts? Maybe.

Oooor the fact that Geralt, who treats Dandelion like shit, gets to keep his best friend. And he doesnt. Bingo, baby.

Well, okay, maybe it was a mix of all four.

But no, he heard of this party that was happening at Yennefer's house. How could he not? Kiera informed him alllll about it.

And another thing he was known for; not only being a bitch, but a petty one at that.

He was going to show up at that damn party.

~~~~~~

Lambert expected many things in his day. To fold clothes, deal with shitty customers, fold clothes again, to fix registers because somehow no one else knew how to do that, and then to again, you guessed it, fold clothes. Oh, and deal with shitty customers.

And then, he would go home around 3pm, just to clean horse shit and feed the goats on the farm. Only sometimes would he find holes in his perfectly good jeans.

But what he didnt expect? His phone to light up with a text. Ever since losing his girlfriend, he hasnt had a single text, other than from Eskel.

Eskel was a family man. Soft, sympathetic. He thinks he would have a little bit more trouble lying and hiding stuff behind his back. He thinks any of these people who are hosting these parties, throwing the- his phone dings again.

Oh, right. He was so used to a lonely phone that he forgot it went off.

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : hey lambert, i know we dont really talk but what time is that party tomorrow? ive got a performance that day and want to arrange an uber ^-^'

Holy fucking shit? It had to be Dandelion. No one else in the group was talented enough with music to perform it.

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : also!! how come u never go? :('

That was the second message.

Did Dandelion not know?

What does he do? He hated to say that his heart was racing. Why was his heart racing? It was just Dandelion. Just a rising celebrity with like seven degrees- from Oxenfurt no less- and his brothers best friend.

His heart was fucking racing. Does he be cool? Does he be mysterious? Should he even answer?

No, no he had to answer.

The few times hes talked to Dandelion have been.. amazing, actually. Of course, Dandelion had an issue with talking to strangers, and also, well, sleeping with strangers, but that was fine. Lambert felt like Dandelion enjoyed talking to, well...

Lambert.

Not Geralts brother, not a bitch (which he will admit he is,) not a depressed, angsty man who practically lives in his room at the farm he grew up on. Which he was.

His phone dings again. Shit.

Lambert grabs his phone off of his car mount this time, sitting in the parking lot of his shitty retail job at Cavill's Combat.

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : oh shit my bad i probably shouldve clarified. this is dandelion im sorry'

Be chill Lambert.

'lambert : heyy yeah no youre good lol'

The multiple y's were cool? Right? Showed he was calm. One Y was boring, three was excessive. Right?

'lambert : as for the party, i have no clue thats a geralt question.'

He decides not to answer the second question. For now.

He puts his phone back on the mount and his car in drive, pretending like he didn't flinch at the sound of the bluetooth connecting.

His phone dings again, and he cant answer, but he does peak at the message.

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : well i wou .. geral ... mad ... ignoring me ...'

That was all he could see for now. Quit frankly, that was all he needed to see.

Did Geralt ignore Dandelion whenever he was mad?

My brain was shut off upon hearing the first Hollywood Undead song start.

~~~~~

When I arrived home, I was bombarded with questions. Eskel was that type of man.

"How was your day at work?" He said from the kitchen, where Lambert was trying to sneak on by.

"Long." Lambert said. "Henry wasnt there."

His boss. Whenever Henry was gone, Lambert had to pick up all the shit- as an assistant store manager.

"Didnt have to fix anything today though, right?" Eskel said.

What a fake fucking bitch, Lambert thought.

"So... do you want me to fix you something to eat?"

He heard it, but didnt register it.

Being the odd one out was quite the funny thing. He lost his best, childhood friend of 14 years in his sophomore year of college to suicide.

He drops out of said college. Decides to start therapy; ends up getting sent to a psych ward.

And now hes working at some shitty fucking retail job; and still working at his adoptive fathers farm.

Yeah, life was fucking great. A ball of fucking sunshine.

Eskel was a doctor. Geralt was a successful Butcher, working under their adoptive father.

And he was a depressed man with a shitty retail job.

"Hello? Lambert?"

Without thinking, Lambert grabs the nearest item which just so happened to be a decorative vase, squeezing it tightly...

"How are things since you ended it with Kiera?"

and throws it.

Right at Eskel.

He's rather lucky it misses. Shatters all over the ground instead of on Eskel's mass.

"You're fake. Did you know that? You're a liar. You're a fraud. Stop with the fake fucking persona that you care about me."

And with that, he has no choice to storm away.

~~~~~

In his room, hes able to check his phone again. The text from Dandelion was sitting there, menacingly.

'lambert : does geralt always ignore u when hes mad at u?'

With how busy Dandelion was, you werent expecting an immediate response.

But you get one.

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : typixally he tellsme to fuck off and rhats how i know hes mas at me'

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : u should go :( ive never seen u there, i know u dont like me'

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : but i got a few tricks up my sleeve to convince u too ;)'

It takes Lambert a bit to decipher Dandelions absolutely awful typing. For a man with an english degree, he is sure as hell bad at English.

Lambert kept reading the, 'i know u dont like me.'

Who the fuck told Dandelion that? Because Lambert has never, not once, discussed any sort of dislike for Dandelion.

If anything, Lambert actively defends his name. He remembers all the times Geralt spoke about ignoring Dandelion, called Dandelion annoying.

Lambert would always stick up for him.

Were there any good reasons why? He had a bunch, personally.

One, and the biggest reason, was that Lambert would kill in cold blood to be able to talk to his best friend again.

Two, is that Dandelion was a good person with good morals. And incredible talent. Dandelion deserved love and praise, not hate from his closest friend.

Three, he was oddly drawn to Dandelion. He didn't know why.

Did he over exaggerate? Yes. But something inside of him just.. felt weird when Dandelion was shamed upon. Geralt wasn't that bad of a dude, especially to Dandelion.

But it's common decency not to talk shit about your best friend when the person you're talking to lost theirs to suicide.

Kind of inconsiderate, Geralt.

'lambert : lol who told you that? i like you'

He suspects it was Triss. Maybe Yennefer had assumed? Lambert didnt really like anyone, it was a safe assumption. But Geralt knew- knew Lambert actually at least tolerated Dandelions presence.

He even told Geralt that he wanted to be Dandelion's friend. That Dandelion reminded him of Aiden. He opened up to Geralt, surely his own family wouldn't do him dirty like that?

Dandelion didnt answer, and Lambert didnt know why, but it disapointed him.

'lambert : i gotta know what those tricks are though, care if i ask for a little more convincing? ;)'

Lambert was going to shit his pants.

First, he double texts. Which is fine, because Dandelion like... quadruple texts. But then he had to hit on the man.

It was playful, right? It wasn't gay. Playful. A game.

Why was his heart racing again?

He was straight anyway.

~~~~~~

Eskel was full of concern at the dinner table when Lambert didnt show up. There sat Geralt and Vesemir, but Lamberts seat was eerily just.. empty.

"Lambert skipped his farm work today," Vesemir said, taking a bite of his mashed potatoes, before grabbing salt and shaking what seemed to be half the bottle in it. Taking another bite, he seemed satisfied.

"He didnt respond to my texts at all. Read every single one, too." Eskel said. "And he..."

Eskel did not want to throw Lambert under the bus. Not when it seemed something was seriously wrong.

"I had to pick up his fucking slack," Geralt said. "Seriously, this kid needs to grow up. We all work in jobs we don't like. I don't like slaughtering pigs and looking at blood, and I'm sure that Eskel doesn't like performing surgery. But we aren't babies about it."

Geralt was chewing into his food like a rabid animal, clearly angry. The steak that was on his plate was massacred, cut up and stabbed.

The walls at Kaer Morhen were pretty thin. The farm itself was nice, but the house wasn't in the perfect condition. It was pretty, but old, some of the rooms half-finished.

Therefore none of the men were surprised or so much as even flinched when Lambert yelled, seemingly speaking to his T.V screen and taking his anger out on Overwatch.

90% of Lambert's free time was spent on video games. It used to be with his girlfriend, Kiera, but she slowly started avoiding him.

He hardly noticed the change. It was gradual; slow, but eventually he caught on. She wasn't the same.

For his own sake, he left her. He will admit, he loved her, but it wasn't hard. She messaged him once every few days.

"He broke up with Kiera, Geralt." Eskel says. "And now hes having a rough time. Maybe we should cut him some slack."

"Don't really care. Shouldn't of been as toxic as he was." Geralt said.

"We should try to understand Lambert. He comes before a girl, Geralt. Put those events with her aside, it's clearly driving a wedge between the three of you."

They could hear Lambert; which means Lambert could hear them.

Toxic? That was funny. He devoted everything to that girl. She ran a small business he would fund- which typically took his full paycheck from Vesemir. Other than that, she didn't really work. He paid for everything.

Toxic was funny.

"Lambert was too much stress on her. Shes a girlfriend, not a therapist. Girls don't like emotional guys, I cant help that." Geralt says, sharply and angrily.

"Lambert hardly talks about emotions." Eskel corrects.

"Sure as hell corrects me all the damn time about them. Sick of him calling me ungrateful and shit. I cant control his losses." Geralt said, with a tone that ended the conversation there.

~~~~~~

Toxic was funny. Really, really funny. Was it toxic to correct your brother on his own toxic behavior?

Lambert didn't understand.

Geralt. A man who ran everything in his life with his dick, not his brain. Who cheated on women, who verbally abused his friends. Who ignores his so called "best friend" because he's mad.

Thats actually not really that bad, but whatever. Lambert was mad, and petty, and wondering why Dandelion hadn't answered him.

Why was he thinking of that? Not okay, Lambert. He's busy. Probably recording music and getting yelled at by his directors.

Toxic was funny, when Lambert was so loyal. When Lambert tried his best to fit in, he just genuinely never did.

Toxic was so, so funny.

His mind ran off, to a different place, one where theres grass and tulips and roses and fuck- Dandelions.

Dandelion.

Would Dandelion prioritize Lambert over Geralt? Sure, they'd talk. But when he's mad at Geralt. When Geralt's not around. He would be a rebound for a best friend.

Just like he was to Kiera.

He had just won a match when his phone dinged and lit up three times.

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : hi ! sorry had to finish up recording a song for my album. stupid director :(

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : oh but id lovee to convince you. maybe we can get a lil tipsy and ill go home with you, yeah handsome? ;)'

Lambert was kicking his feet, giggling, and squealing like a high school girl. Well, his face was stoic, but mentally he was there. Mentally he was going insane.

He had never been hit on deliberately like that. Like stated before, he was the odd one out. With Geralt and Eskel his brothers, he was known as the ugly one of the family.

He was surprised when Kiera wanted him. Him, out of the three. He had made the move, god forbid a woman make a move on him. But she still accepted- still chose him.

She used to fuck with Geralt a couple years back, back when Geralt and Yennefer would cheat on each other. He always had girls left and right. Kiera, Yennefer, Triss, and boy, did he have a shit ton of one night stands.

He wasn't surprised when Kiera got distant. It hurt at first, but he realized one thing- thats life. She lost interest.

When people normally got to know him, they would see Geralt and run. They'd lose interest in him, all of the sudden. But Geralt would never take them from him though, he wasn't that bad a person.

And he wasn't a bad person either. But Geralt's best friend currently hitting on him? It shouldn't make him feel giddy inside. It shouldn't make him so happy that it felt like someone had chosen him over Geralt.

He couldn't help but smile.

But it was playful. It was all playful.

He couldn't help but feel his smile drop, as he went to read the last message from Dandelion. His face contorted in anger; wanting to lash out all over again.

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : it was geralt. glad to see youve changed ur mind tho! <3'

[alisria]

i know i am just smad because im tired and in pain and havent eaten in 12 hours and have no plans to but

i think as i approach 30 i am really starting to lose my mind a little bit about how ive spent 27 years putting my life on hold until X. like oh i will go out and do new things when i have X. i cant enjoy travelling until i have X. i cant be happy until i have X. and like. X doesnt seem possible anymore. i dont have the willpower to make it happen. i dont care enough. because i never gave myself anything to care about because that was something that would come after X. well what the fuck do i do when X never comes? feel like this forever? because ive certainly been dealing with that reality my entire life. and i can look at my friends and see they dont need X to be happy and thats fine and im so glad for them and i dont WANT them to need X but i do.

and it's like. okay well if X is my obstacle, what are the steps i need to take to get X? okay well join your support groups. go to your doctor. get more doctors. beg for help with X from them. from your family. and then the support groups say "you dont want it enough", the doctors say "you shouldnt want X at all", and your family doesnt answer your pleas because what you want doesn't matter, you dont want it enough, you should be doing other things, etc. and it's like. all my life i have felt like an absolutely massive part of me is missing. and the only thing that will fix it is X. doctor will give you vyvanse. doctor will give you all the hormones you can dream of without you even fucking asking. doctor will offer gender affirming surgery you dont even want. but you beg for X, you beg for help just getting closer to X, you write out a page of reasons why X would get you closer to finally feeling like a real person, like yourself, a self you havent even fucking met yet at nearly 30 years old, and doctor goes "ehhh well you need to learn to be happy without X. because you can't have it." and its like well girl what the FUCK do i do because thats the only thing ive literally ever wanted and i've structured my entire life over the pipe dream of maybe having it someday and i CANT have anything else until i have X and they kind of shrug and give you another doctor that goes yeah no you dont get a diagnosis and nothing is wrong with you and i wont help you get X so no more appointments call me if you need me but doctor i am fucking pagliacci.

and there's that nagging thought, that if i get X, nothing will change. the support groups tell you this. nothing will change. you will still be socially inept, you will still be mentally ill with agoraphobia, you will still struggle every fucking day of your life with choices that tear you apart. and i can hear that for 10 years and still feel incomplete without it. i am defective goods and i need a part installed and people either say "well you dont need that part to work!" "you can be happy without the part!" "you can never have the part, even if you get it installed it will never work so why even bother?" and this is supposed to feel like support. this is supposed to be positivity. but it's not. maybe it is for other people. but it isnt for me. but i can have hormones if i want!!!!! here you can transition wont that make you feel better!!!!! wont that make you hate yourself less!!!!! have as many hormones as you want!!!!!!!

and on tuesday im going to go to the doctor and smile and say everythings great im fine physiotherapy is working the meds are working everything is perfect see you in 3 months when i am quite literally rotting inside and there is no cure

im going to bed

[ohtobearandomftblog]

would love to hear more of your headcannons for the thunder legion

oh. oh you sweet summer child. you dont know what you got yourself into. ill do bullet first then bullet + numbered under a read more,, the shit under read more is also basically a poor summary of one shots tbh sdljkg

cw very brief and vague mention of sexual assault + child death after the read more

eldest to youngest is laxus, bickslow, evergreen, freed

bickslow and evergreen dont remember the names they were born with. bickslow went with the first thing that came to mind and evergreen settled on that after she wanted the fairy motif.

all found by laxus when they were young. found in youngest to eldest order.

evers the only pure fiorean. bicks is half fiorean half midian. freed is pure encan. laxus is a jumble of So Much.

bickslow is jokingly jealous freed wont go to him to learn latin and goes to natsu and wendy instead. freed keeps telling him he cant understand his accent. bicks thinks thats part of the fun of learning a language.

laxus adopted them all before makarov could even get his hands on them. they are His Problems not Yours, gramps, you have enough of your own

freed was the one that started the thunder legion/thunder god tribe after laxus saved him. it was just him for a month before ever got there. then she begrudingly joined if only to keep this tiny child in check. two months later bicks showed up and just accepted his role as the "youngest"

laxus hated the name. hes a lightning slayer not a thunder one. hes a dragon not a god. theyre not a tribe theyre his friends. eventually he just said fuck it and shortened it to thunder legion.

laxus was the first to call them the raijinshu like a year before lucy joined fairy tail. he had just come back from the japanese counties of the eastern continent and when there he didnt wanna suddenly speak english and have no one say it properly. so he just. raijinshu does mean thunder god tribe to an extent. freed was so giddy for months after.

laxus finds it hilarious how he found three little kids who all have an innate type of eye magic while his eyes are so Plain and Bad most of the time

bicks actively tried to learn japanese after the first time laxus swapped to that while talking to them. hes. like. "informed tourist" level conversational. the main issue was that he immediately started learning chinese and korean after getting to that point. so now whenever he tries to talk back its in a jumble of barely understandable three different languages. if laxus's mom's family wasnt a jumble of barely understandable four different languages he would have no clue what the fuck bicks was tryina do.

ever was the one to start up that first stream. it was when they were walking back from an easy quest on the equivalent of justin.tv. theyve streamed at least once a month since then bc sometimes the stupidity must be Documented

they all have some lingering asthma-like symptoms from the bane particles. bicks ever and freed only get winded easier than normal and thats slowly going away.

laxus though. as stated before with his absolute shit senses, if he didnt fucking pass out, he wouldve kept trying to eat the fuckin bane particles. his body was full and that is not an exaggeration. porlyusica said it was nearly 93% filled and if he tried to use any magic with it that high hed be dead, and any magic used by those around him in this state has the potention to get that percentage higher. his fight with tempester was life threatening on multiple accounts. just before the alvarez bullshit, the bane particles were down to around 54%, slowly recovering. after alvarez it bumped back up to 77%. porlyusica thinks hell always have at least 20% in him if he keeps going like this. he doesnt really care.

they all act like siblings. ever's used to being the youngest, freed's just glad he doesnt have to be an only child anymore, and bicks is SO HAPPY hes not the eldest anymore. laxus is exasperated that he is once again the eldest of the youngest gen.

as mentioned laxus found all of them when they were kids

he found freed first. freed, who was in the early stages of training to be an encan royal guard when he was ten. he was being trained outside of the capital's reach when a dark guild obliterated the camp he was at with all the other trainees and teachers. laxus was on enca for a quest that really should have been sclass if only because enca was so far from fiore. he stumbled upon the still crumbling ruins of the camp when trying to go back to a port town and tried to find survivors. freed was one of the few lucky ones. he lead them all to the capital and only when a translator showed up did he learn freeds parents were part of the teachers that didnt make it. the royal family was trying to adopt him since his parents were the king's old friends before they realized that he still hadnt let go of laxus in the days it took to get there. they let laxus legally adopt him. it took him weeks to find sailors willing to take him, a kid, and the massive pile of books the royal family gave them all the way to fiore. laxus still doesnt know what he adopted freed as and freed doesnt know either but does like to think hes his little brother. laxus still finds it weird that they just let him adopt a kid when he was fifteen.

he found ever next. she and her older sister were runaways. he met them bc he accepted a quest to capture some thieves who were doin some robin hood type shit to hargeon. he didnt take the job to capture them, more to convince them to come to fairy tail. it didnt take too long to find them in rags on a rooftop of some bakery. he tried to convince them immediately but was then trauma dumped on by the little kid. she was three when her older sister took her and left their negligent family. they were roaming fiore for eight years, taking what they could from the rich and either giving it away or selling it off to give the money to the poor, who would always give them a place to stay for the night and some food, some even gave them clothes and toys, before guards would come to the town to find the thieves. the older sister had smacked 'eve' upside the head for confessing to crimes that they definitely didnt commit. they had run off before laxus could get another word in. it took him a week to find them again, but they had been watching him that whole time. the sister decided that she would turn herself in if 'eve' could join fairy tail. laxus said they both could join, but she turned him down. said it would be too obvious and dangerous for a known heiress to a noble family to suddenly join the most popular legal guild in fiore after eight years of running. but for her unknown little sister, who their parents didnt even bother to remember her name, it was perfect. especially since she had only been called 'eve' since they left, which was nowhere close to her legal name, and the sun they stayed in so much gave her a darker skin tone and lighter hair than their parents had. ever still doesnt remember when her sister would be released, nor does she even remember her full name. just that she had brown hair, brownish red eyes, pale skin, and was called 'ace' when they started stealing. laxus doesnt have the heart to tell her he thinks aceto is back "home" with count balsamico.

he found bicks last. he had, again, taken on a quest that really should have been sclass since midi was pretty far from fiore. he just had to bring lightning and, therefore, a storm to some farmlands to rejuvenate the soil for more crops. that was the easy part. what wasnt easy was spending the night in one of the farmers house and the village suddenly being fuckin raided. the farmer and her husband told him to stay home and keep an eye on their many kids while they took care of the danger. he tried to explain that hes a mage, nearly ready for the sclass trials, and lightning is extremely fucking powerful against nonmages, but they werent having it when he was just a few small years older than their own eldest. so fine, whatever, he could keep an eye on the house as a whole and bring a storm to help the farmers protect their families. why not. he didnt expect one of the raiders to be a fire mage who could summon hydrophobic fire. and he didnt expect the mage to chuck it straight at the house he was staying at. the strong winds only fed the flames and he could barely register that the house was on fire before the roof collapsed. he woke up to a boy just a few years younger than him, burns all over his body, trying to drag a support beam off laxus. he got the story from the kid. the fire had consumed the house quickly, and lightning was going everywhere outside, so he had tried to get all his siblings down to the basement so they could crawl through one of the emergency tunnels to the forest. they didnt realize how quickly the fire would eat at the supports and the stairs fell apart from under them. he tried to save his siblings, but some didn't survive the initial fall. the rest couldnt get away from the fire. he tried to get his parents from outside, only to see that they had been killed by the raiders. the fire mage was struck by lightning pretty soon after he set fire to the house though so thats good! but now his family of eight is down to one in under an hour. the rest of the village were mourning their loses too and couldnt take care of a kid. so laxus took him home after they gathered what they could from the wreckage. bickslow had come up with his name during the boat back, when he was rubbing laxuss back to soothe the motion sickness. he bickered with everyone a lot, and was too slow to save his family. bickslow. laxus tried very hard to not hug the kid to death and instead kept throwing up into the ocean.

they all have varying degrees of electric resistance

ever has the LEAST resistance. still way above average, but even a weak attack from laxus would get her whole body shaking and numb. she thinks its because of the aria magic she mastered when she first go to fairy tail.

freed thinks he has the most, but hes in the middle of the three. he can take a normal attack from laxus during training and can only feel a bit of tingling in the aftershocks. the only one who can withstand being carried by his lightning body and thinks its because of the lightning.

its actually because the movement of the lightning body is way too fast for bicks, who is nearly immune to a regular lightning mage's attacks. a strong attack from laxus is what gets him on the ground for five minutes. he doesnt know why since he never really trained against lightning. maybe its because his seith magic and figure eyes are kind of energy related? he doesnt know

the first time they learned of their eye magics was all in crisis

freed didnt actually see what his magic was for years. it happened when his camp was attacked, but no one was awake to see it. laxus hid the bodies of the dark guild from the kids and had asked what few adults survived if they had anything to do with that. they didnt. the wounds were oozing demonic magic from what laxus could tell and could translate with his poor understanding of french. every other quest they went on as the thunder legion was solved with his letter magic. it was an sclass quest, one similar to the one they all lost lisanna on, that his dark écriture "awakened" in. bicks figure eyes was the only reason freed was able to remember what happened. even during the battle of fairy tail, his dark écriture: darkness was very difficult to control

ever was captured for like ten minutes on an sclass quest early in the thunder legion's career. im sure you can guess what gross monsters attempt to do with the women they capture. yeah. her boys saved her after she turned them to stone. freed was about to make a letter magic prison for them so the magic council could arrest them but bicks said whatever happens when theyre stone they can still experience and laxus said they could cover her for the magic council and suddenly the statues broke. freed was only a little bit salty he couldnt test out some pain and suffering magics he was learning.

bicks first learned of both his magics at the first opportunity they had to show up. so yes he saw the souls of his parents and five siblings just after they were murdered. its why he wasnt all too sad that they died. he still saw them, he could still hear and talk to them, what do you mean theyre gone forever, laxus? he knows what death is, their neighbors were butchers and it was explained really early on why he couldnt name a cow in their fields. his family isnt really dead, theyre still right here. only then did laxus realize that this kid had soul magic. when they were getting what they could from the ashes laxus found five little stacking totem toys and two bigger ones. bicks said there were more, but maybe they burned or were under the bricks and planks around the room. laxus spent like twenty minutes trying to explain to bicks how to put souls into objects since he had only read about this type of magic years ago. it didnt take that long for bicks to have his family physically here again, even if they would be his "puppets".

all four of them have nostalgic items from their home land/their families

people think freed's sword was something he got commissioned after he learned letter magic since it has the fairy tail mark as part of the cross guard. but no, he only got the fairy tail cross guard commissioned. that sword wouldve been the one hed have if he were a royal guard to the encan royal family. now he just uses it to write his letter magic since hes not "worthy" to use it as an actual weapon

ever still has the necklace her sister gave her after their first night being thieves. it was silver and plain and had some type of cheaper green gem as its pendant, but she loved it then and loves it now. sometimes she wears it around magnolia, but when she goes on quests, it stays safe in her room in fairy hills.

besides the totems housing his actual family, the mark over bicks forehead and going over his nose and whatnot is actually the mark of the midian side of his family. the color is that of his fiorean side. after porlyusica healed the bigger scars on his face, it just appeared. porlyusica had no clue what it was, but makarov said something like that appears on all soul mages. something that shows where the magics came from. to have both sides of his family have soul magics somewhere in it was rare, but clearly not impossible. the souls of his parents had no clue there was any soul magic connected to their names, though, so who knows.

despite being laxuss closest friends theyre still constantly surprised by the shit he does/is

after the first time he spoke japanese to makarov and chinese to bicks, they figured that his mom was just fluent in both and taught him both and master picked up some japanese. then he spoke korean, russian, and something that bicks said reminded him of the arabian traders theyd get in midi, and they had to confront laxus about it. he said his mom was some percent japanese, chinese, and korean, since his Obā-chan was at least japanese and his Hal-abeoji was at least korean but cousins on both of their sides were chinese and some were thai and even others were indian and filipino but his mom only knew japanese korean and chinese so. and his pops is some bit russian and some bit whatever his gram was. and his gramps is maybe half russian half fiorean since they dont know where his mom and dad came from just that he was born in fiore and the second guild master said he should connect with his roots and learn russian. and again he has no clue where his gram was from since gramps always tried to not say where she was a princess of or where precisely on alakitasia that the alvarez empire absorbed her home country. he lost the thunder legion the moment he said Obā-chan but they just nodded along like they understood everything. they never asked again.

despite his music being played all the damn time when he had those noise suppressing lacrima headphones they never really knew just what laxus was listening to. just that he liked r&r since thats what he always responds with when someone asks. when the viewers of their streams learned what laxus actually listened to is when they also learned. they shouldntve been so surprised that there were some non english songs really considering his fucked up family tree

freed and ever were shocked loke was the spirit leo. bicks immediately started to rub it in their faces that he knew because his soul was just so damn bright and blinding and definitely wasnt fucking human. they were all shocked when laxus said he knew before bicks could see the souls of the still living. they figured laxus and loke werent actually that close with how they reacted when people called them boyfriends

they were shocked laxus and loke were actually boyfriends

bicks was the only one who knew laxus could summon storms if he summons lightning too often in one spot in a short amount of time. laxus just figured it was a lightning mage thing. ever and freed were so confused when it just started storming on one of their sclass quests in the middle of desierto

even still theyre constantly surprised whenever laxus just lays outside in the rain. and still surprised that hes not getting soaked.

they werent shocked that his coat is actually so fucking comfy. nor were they surprised that its heavy as fuck. they ARE surprised it was originally his moms and the only one he has. they figured he had multiple from how often he loses it in a fight and has it back the next day.

they were dumbfounded laxus knows requip magic specifically for his big coat. he also uses it for all his clothes and some random items like knives and pens and paper and a first aid kit and whatnot. they asked him if he knows any other magic. he said that the only reason his lightning body works is because his lightning magic came with an affinity to levitation magic. they stopped asking after that.

the first time laxus popped something out its socket had them all scrambling. the first time laxus popped something back into socket, which happened maybe a minute after that, had them all panicked. ever was the only one even a bit knowledgable in hypermobility so after it was explained she just sighed and shook her head.

[spilling-my-guts-to-you-guyss]

New intro post cuz the other one is shit

Reminder for me-

Time since last relapse: 0 days

Hey guys, lore drop ig

Minor, Christian, Ex-suicidal, struggling with self harm, Have several physical and probably mental problems, BUT here to help where I can

Minor: idc what you say to me, but any advice or help (or just someone to talk with) will be appreciated. Beware of my misspelling! i am not good at it. You dont have to interact, this is just if you wanna. Also dont be weird, like sexual or anything. I will explicitly post my feelings, and I dont want anyone taking it out of context or anything. And about home life if yall care, its a single parent household. Moms trying her best but sometimnes i dont know whether to really trust that she loves me. I know she does, its just hard... Sisters close to me kinda, and brothers an asshole. Christian: I am for God, and I am thankful for everything given by him. Sure I dont know what He has planned for me, He literally saved me from myself countless times... but I am still eternally grateful for His loving kindness. Still trying to grow closer to Him, and I think its going well.. been a christian for as long as I can remember, but I think in only the last few years or so was when I fully surrendered my life to him Ex-suicidal: last year February (wow its been a year) i was becoming very... displeased with life. But i was getting lots of suicidal thoughts, eventually leading to my few (4 i believe) attempts in April, and throughout May, all by overdose. The worst was May 26th I believe. 5-10 more pills, and I think things wouldve gotten fatal... Im kind of glad things didnt work out. I was still suicidal until... september-october i believe, and its gone WAY down since then. All glory to God, I thank him for saving me Self Harm: Started struggling with it in february as well, but it got really bad in the summer. Sparing detail for you guys, but lets just say it grew on me, continuously pushing down blood-drenched toilet paper to the bottom of the trash. Around August was when I wanted to quit, but it had already grown as an addiction... But ive told others, gotten help, and might even get therapy in March. Ive been clean a long time though (as of now), and will be putting a "days since relapse" count on here. Problems: Only 2 people (off tumblr) know about my sh and sui. I dont know if thats important, probably not, but yeah. Only two friends, neither parents nor siblings or family at all. anyways... I have undiagnosed with AuDHD, i really do see it though. Ruins my life. Been called apathic and a sociopath before, i do see it in myself unfortunately. I have really bad posture that ruins my spine, and last year at the end of may I was diagnosed [though had it for about a year or 2 before that] with Coccygodinea (chronic tailbone pain) that basically means I cant sit for a long time without being in a lot of pain. ruins school, car rides, everything. Im sure my attempt also messed with me a bit, I cant take pills without feeling weird and like I wanna throuw up. Helping: yeah I made this alt account to get help, i do need it... BUT im also here for you guys! remmeber always that you are loved, people care for you! i dont wanna give the cliche "life gets better" shit, because sometimes it doesnt. But just because it doesnt get better doesnt mean it will never. I care for you and yall can talk to me, Ill try my best to help where I can. Remember again! I love you, God loves you, people inthe world care for you.

Thanks for reading if yall really did, I know its a lot.

have a great day or night, get rest and always remember

YOU ARE LOVED