#<- doesnt have family and thinks of friends as the only thing ill ever have

[tiredtriedfailures]

im so unwell im wearing the ring my friend got me. for emotional support. like a corny movie protagonist with his dead wife.

[zorosnavigator]

Timebomb fics rec

A lot of timebomb fics are hiding through a lot of CaitVi/JayVik tagged works on ao3 (while many are also CV orJV centric) so i made this rec post for everyone who dont want to spent 1 hour scrolling or missing some of them bc you're filtering other ships!! (sorry for the short summaries/ i didnt write my thoughts as thoughtfully as i would have liked because.yk.time and all. update chapter count/add of new fics every week)

AU/crossovers fics

Je t'aime (Je t'attends) 3 chapter, WIP.

Hunger games x Timebomb/Arcane, the way the system of the games from the og novels are mixed in the Arcane universe is really masterful, the writer dont lose too much time explaining it but you understand the dynamics of the 2 cities and the characters perfectly anyway.

Where would you be now ? by enaven 5/6 chapters, WIP.

family/modern AU, timebomb feels, Ekko and Jinx are Isha's parents, CaitVi are just silly aunts and i'll never stop recommending this fic

you're the best thing to ever happen to me (but also the worst thing to ever happen to me) by grey_toiletpaper ( @greytoiletpaper ) 3/8 chapters, WIP. Rated T.

Timebomb inspired by 10 things i hate about you.

We Moved Into a Real House (a Wild Field Behind it) by smokesatellite 3/10 chapters. WIP. Rated T.

Modern AU, Timebomb roommates/friends to lovers, Isha is a foster kid...you know where this is going .. (Ekko as a nurse is not something i expected but its surprisingly good. Also the in law feud between Jinx and Cait is very funny)

s1 fics

Silco is less of an asshole

The Heart of Zaun by 1ts_Br1tney_B1tch 8/ chapters. WIP.

or: Silco try to rally the Firelights to his cause (in this case, Zaun - he's much more involved in doing better for his city than in the show) but of course they're bound to have some..tension between them, since they hate him - and Shimmer. (it has the good parent Silco tag so i'd say that all in all, this Silco is a little less...Silco than in Arcane, but manage to keep some of the bite he has in canon...) i only read 2 chapters, and what i can say is that it does a good job with the general cast, the interactions between Silco/Ekko-Firelights are believable, i think the one thing that could have weird me out is the way Silco is said to be 'proud' of the Firelights in the summary (for me 'pride' is something he'd reserve for Jinx yk?? anyway i stop the rambling) . The Timebomb relationship has more or less the same push and pull as in the show, with Ekko thinking about the girl Jinx used to be/ Ekko being a link to the past before Jinx and all that entail...so yeah, i'm loving it!

Powder doesnt become Jinx

The Alpha Command by typewriter_in_galaxy 13 chapters. WIP. Rated E.

ABO/Reverse AU where Powder doesnt become Jinx and is raised by Viktor, Ekko is taken in by Silco. btw i dont read a lot of abo fic (im very nickpick) but this one does every characters justice, and actually dwelve in depth in the abo universe.. (everything by typewriter is good to be honest, but my favorite thing is how they write Powder, who even when she doesnt become Jinx, is still shaped by a very violent world/trauma and it shows through her mental health issues and very, very low self worth/need to prove herself. )

everything's better with a friend by typerwriter_in_galaxy 7chapters. Completed. Rated E.

Timebomb centric rewrite of Arcane, Jinx is Powder, she doesnt fall under Silco's hand (or in his arms precisely), Ekko is Ekko, and 1, i need to hug Powder, 2 she deserves the world and 3 the characterization of everyone, everyone is so brillantly written and the timebomb relationship (damn even the CaitVi one too) oh, the timebomb of it all... they feel so, so real and it hurts, Powder's insecurities, her mental illness, her guilt, her need to prove herself but in same time she doesnt feel herself worth of anything (or anyone) good... just.read it. read it, because i just did, after like 2 years of not doing that and. im like mad bc why didnt i??? but in same time so grateful to just discover it now, taking my sweet little time reading it; it rewinded my brain its amazing, (like this work in another fandom, the first time i read this rebelcaptain's fic A Love song by skitzofreak - did i just linked it for you to read even tho its a timebomb rec post??? yes. yes i did. thats how much i love, adore, worship this one guys - so everything's better made me think a lot of this TB fic, and also of RC (the abandonment issues, thinking that you have to leave first before everyone leave you, Jyn and Powder damn).

Shattered Web by Firewolf2132 1 chapter. WIP. Rated M.

you know how everyone make the comparaison between Ekko and Miles?? well, the author found a way for Ekko transform into a spiderman that feels right in the arcane verse (end of act1) and damn its so good. Ekko slowly morphing and gaining his powers while everyone still have some focus on them (mostly Powder), but it still manages to keep the suspense of the fate of other characters. fabulous. author note: [I have seen so many comparisons between Ekko and Miles and a lot of fanart. So it felt that I had to do this. I can't promise future chapters right now (busy), but I am eager to see if this inspires any stories with a similar premise.]

S2 fanfics

fics covering Timebomb moments between ep 8 Ekko saving her /they painted each other and ep9

Go Back For Her by A_Lily_In_The_Moonlight 3/3 chapters. Completed. Rated E.

Ekko's pov -i only read 1 chapter - we see his thought's process on his relationship with Powder AU/ Jinx, and how he came to the conclusion he must go back to her. the moment where he help Jinx with his Z-drive comes a little differently than in ep8 (well, the aftermath) aaand another fic where Jinx's grief over Isha's death shatters me, the pain and the self loathing/blaming from Jinx really devastating.

I dont believe in God, but i believe you're my savior by mquesterminds One shot. Rated T

[summary: every time Ekko has to rewind time to stop Jinx it cuts to a different moment from throughout their love story because I'm allergic to happiness the moments covering their shared past really make their present 10 times sadder.]

I'm sure we're taller in another dimension by hallwayheart One shot. Rated M. i have nothing to say because i'm still processing what i just read.ty.

Fires That Were Set by ilophilia ( @ilophilia on tumblr) 1 chapter. WIP.

the conversation after Ekko helped Jinx in episode 8. Loved the banter, the emotions (the grief is there and its important to feel it but damn i want to hug them so bad). They tell each other what happened when Ekko was gone, and you feel the distance/the closeness, near intimacy building again and its beautiful..

Hope is a winged beast by Grey_ Unicorn 4 chapters. WIP. Rated E.

prepare you tissues because i was myself not ready for chapter 3 and the emotional wreck of Jinx processing her grief. but here we are.

fics from AU Powder pov/exchange between Jinx and AU Powder

what we left behind by re_dragon_rising 3/3 chapters. Completed. Rated T.

Powder traverses to the og arcane universe 1 year after Ekko's visit. (the insight into her life after Ekko leaves is wholesome and also give the reader a glimpse of the Mylo/Claggor/Powder siblings dynamics + the impact of Vi's death on them. really great. a little sad too.)

The other Ekko by GrammarThyEnemy Oneshot. General audience.

Powder knows this Ekko is not her Ekko.

memento vivere by fuwaaa 1/2. WIP. General audience.

covering the AU episode, Powder knows something's up with Ekko.

See Ya On The Other Side by moth_dust 3/5 chapters, WIP. Rated T.

Powder also travel to the og universe.

these forgotten faces by whippindippin ( @whippindippin on tumblr too!) 6 chapters, WIP. Rated T.

Jinx and Powder body swap and its both the worst and best thing that could ever happen to either of them. great reading and their reaction on point.

Isha is alive

Astrantia by AelinCreativ ( @aelincreativ they're on tumblr too!) 5 chapters, WIP. Rated T.

canon divergence where Ekko saves Isha. a lot of angst. but also a lot of happiness. so we can cry while smiling along with them. great. ty author!!

Ankle-Biter by darkfire1220 8/9 chapters, WIP. Rated M.

Isha is Jinx's biological daughter, Silco is a not so bad (grand) father, and their mother/daughter bond is one a the greatest thing ever. (very slowburn timebomb). Also Vi. i love you Vi.

post s2

we made our peace with weariness (and let it be) by The_FlamingTiger 3/3 chapters. Completed. Rated M.

Ekko and Jinx reconnect in Bilgewater..(and Jinx goes to therapy. that too. its nice)

I don't believe in God (But I believe that you're my savior) by yeonatsu Oneshot, general audience.

Ekko is mourning.

this hunger for love won’t disappear by Amuria Oneshot, rated T.

Months after the battle for Piltover, Ekko begins to dream of Powder. He thinks it’s his grief playing tricks on him. She has different theory.

Francesca (Do You Think I'd Give Up?) by PoetProlific 2 chapters. WIP.

Ekko tries searching for Jinx...(with the help of Caitlyn, yep. and its well done, because I think Cait would help, for Vi. And i love how Ekko-Cait's dynamics might evolve because of this..)

So I met him there and told him I believe by ijustwanttoreadinpeace 3 chapters, WIP. Rated T.

Jinx begins a new life in Bilgewater but is forced to come back... (edit: be warned, this is now an orphan account so idk if there will be more chapters.)

all the 6 timebomb one shot by atabex (the other fics are not timebomb) they're all rated E and oh boy is it worth it. most of these oneshot are gut wrenching and do smut + characters so well... the most recent one is just Ekko and AU Powder ahem doing the boombayah on the rooftop, but yk, with bits of sad and tragedy here and there.

i'm a little ashamed i'm only adding it now but every TB os fics by @shroomystar is 🤌 nothing else to add because each one of them are good. so. (if you want the explicit one-shots it's here and if you prefer without, it's here )

[the-housenextdoor]

Hello to the rp blog ooc! I'm new to this and I've just joined the rp! I'm still kind of new to this whole thing since I'm new to tumblr in general. But I'm really excited to join! I'm really only gonna play as an oc. But my name is just S or Sophus if you call me ooc.

I have now figured out how to run a blog! So this will be it! Joy!

For those who are unaware of the lore I will have it copy pasted here!

Oc Lore:

His name is Maverick Madlock and he's just a teenager (around 16) who lives next to John. His father and mother are strict devout catholics. Maverick is a rather serious teenager. He doesnt have many friends (or any at all). The local kids say that he does live up to his name of being "mad". The adults think he's sick in the head. Honeslty he might be. He's very good at putting up a perfect "good christian boy" front in the presence of adults. Yet they know how he acts anyways. Behind closed doors.. He's a demon from hell. He hangs around the local church often. Praying the rosary. Reading a bible tabbed and annotated in every margin in messy slanted cursive. God knows who this kid is. He's a perfect little angel really. Few have really seen the demonic fire that rages inside of him. (I have been writing Maverick to have sociopathic tendencies but I am going to research ASPD (Anti Social Personality Disorder) more to make sure I am not being in any way incorrect or offensive to those who have the mental illness! I do not want to make the mental illness seem villianized in any way! Many people with ASPD actually do live a normal life with proper medications and therapies! The only reason I will write my oc in this way is because the timeline most takes place in the late 80s without much knowledge on the mental illness. And because Maverick's parents don't know how to handle his behavior so they let him run wild. Thank you! And dont be afraid to inform me if I do write something incorrectly!)

Family Matters:

Mother and Father are strict Catholics. They live two houses down from John Ward. In that cute little red brick family home with the white picket fence. Truly the American dream. Father's name is Sebastian Madlock. Mother's name is Agatha Madlock.

Looks for Maverick:

He has inky black hair that falls to the nape of his neck in extremely unruly, fluffy layers. He had the same unruly curtain bangs framing his face. His hair a mess of waves and soft curls and fluffiness yet still tame enough to look proper. He has softer facial features than most boys his age. He had extremely tan and sunkissed skin not to mention his skin was littered with freckles. Literally. He had freckles all over his body from what it seemed. His cheeks, forehead, face, neck, collarbones, chest, arms, legs, waist, etc. The brown flecks absolutely covered his skin in large constellations. He always wore a dark black collared shirt with black dress pants and black Doc Martens on the days were they got to be out of uniform. He wore a saint necklace of Saint Agatha of Sicily. The Saint he had chosen for his confirmation. He has cold brown eyes that genuinely appeared black. Maybe they were black. No one ever got close enough to tell. They were harsh and apathetic. Observing and sharp. He's watching. His nails were short from biting them constantly. Bleeding at the edges sometimes. He has a look of perfection and messiness. Two sides of that same coin.

(He looks exactly like his mother for reference. Like a mini-me of her!)

Thank you! Super excited to rp on this new blog!

Adding a few bits of information!

I unfortunately cannot color code my character because I am on mobile and most of the colors have already been used. I will simply stick with a bold text to identify Maverick.

Maverick will be bolded.

His parents (Sebastion & Morana) will be italicized.

Also he volunteers at the Open Arms Shelter because his parents forced him because they often can't handle how he acts.

[djtommotomlinson]

last november i was in china when my little brother called me and told me to come home. over summer my nan, my mums mum, had passed away before i had managed to get back to see her and my mum, my best friend in the world, had a heart attack soon after. i was with her then. we went to the funeral. she got better. we saw robbie williams live. we went out drinking and to the beach and watched coyote ugly and la la land together, our fave movies.

when my brother called me to tell me mum had cancer i knew it was bad. i lost my best friend to cancer when we were just 16 years old. thats never a good word. but its my mum. and to quote her days after her own mums death 'i always knew one day my mum would die but i never knew she would, like, actually die'.

i knew in the back of my head why i was going home but i didnt believe it. i watched spiderverse for like the third time on the plane. i went to grab my suitcase and laughed when i realised i was at the wrong shanghai - gatwick conveyor belt. who knew there were two at almost the same time.

then my brother, my baby brother, who is 30 next year but was 28 and always our baby brother, called me and my life is never ever going to be the same. i knew the moment he called. and i sat on the floor at gatwick airport shaking and people kept coming over to ask if i was okay and finally my sister and my aunties, my mums sisters, arrived and they were let into the baggage area when they explained and picked me off the floor.

i dont think this is a grief that has settled yet. i was meant to see louis that night. i havent listened to a song by him since despite his music getting me through some of my hardest times. my denial, she'll walk through the door and say this was all a joke, phase went on for months after we planned and executed a funeral and wake on the beach in malta. i made a great playlist, i wrote a great eulogy. i did that but it didnt properly sink in why.

i still, almost a full year on, wake up and think about messaging her to tell her how im feeling and check in on her.

my mum used to send me one direction news she found on facebook every day. harrys got a new album emmy did you know? and i was like no mum wow thank you (of course i already knew). she loved niall and we were going to see him live together. she wasnt a big fan of louis' music but ached for what he'd been through. i woke up the day after hearing about liam expecting a text from her checking in because she got me 1d tickets in 2014 for my 23rd birthday and she brought me merch and the dvd of the movie -

my mum who hated the beatles because they were too mainstream but loved what i loved because i loved it and was passionate about it. god she would have been crushed for me today. she would have been heart broken.

and i think this has hit me like a train not only because everyone who knows me knows how much i loved liam as if he was my own friend, but also because this past year has been so full of grief i dont always know how to get out of bed. my dads mum passed a few months ago. my family are wrecked with it. this past year has been a nightmare we can't get out of.

i always related to liam as someone who was bullied at school and as someone who suffers from mental illness and has suffered from alcoholism, thankfully, for me, something ive managed to come back from and im sober and i always hoped for that for him. its such a hard fucking mountain to climb and i didn't have to deal with the fame side of it and this whole other thing he had to carry. i always wanted him to get better but in the back of my head i had this feeling, i had this fear that i would one day log into tumblr and see the worst.

i still cant, and im sure for a long time won't, believe this real. thats one of my boys. we were very much meant to get old together. i wanted to see him get better. i cant begin to comprehend the fact he wont have that chance. this still doesnt feel real to me man. thats my boy.

just a few days ago I was in a convenience store and they were playing heart meets break and i was jamming and excited to hear my boy in a store. i keep remembering its happened, and i look at the photo on my bedside of me and my mum at the robbie williams concert and i could really do with her right now. a link to a facebook article and her over use of emojis - a shocked and crying face and a broken heart. because what else can express this?

i know i didnt know him but i always had the comfort of knowing of him, of listening to his music and watching his videos and feeling less alone in a cruel and lonely world.

its okay to be a fucking mess, if you can take time out please do. i wish this world allowed more of that. after my mum everyone had to go back to jobs and life and it still blows my mind that i was walking down the street then and today and everything was the same. the world should pause but it doesn't.

at the end of all of this, one day this might settle and make sense but right now it doesnt at all and thats how these things work. i love you all, this is not something i thought we would have to face until we had all grown old and spent all of our money on reunion tickets and seen our boys grow old and live their lives.

give people you love a hug, tell people you love that you care about them, work out problems and differences if you can and make the most of it. you never know how much time you have.

[silly-little-soul]

SDV Highschool AU

A/N - in celebration of my graduation today!!

Very rushed and not formatted properly cause I’m at prom rn and writing this on my phone I’ll fix it later but like i wanted to post sth for the occassion

-

Summary: sdv highschool au, the ones under the +++ are x reader

Characters: Harvey, Shane, Elliot, Haley (cause theyre my favs to write for)

Warnings: drug mention

~~~~~~~~~~~

HARVEY

- Big nerd

- He’s planning to study medicine so of course he puts accordingly much effort

- Awkward as fuck icl

- Everyone lowkey loves him cause he’s always really helpful

- Aka almost the entire class just copies his homework

- Lives off coffee in every life and scenario

- (One of the) best in class and beloved by the teachers but not annoying about it

- If y’all wanna act like there wasn’t any homework in front of the teacher cause no one did it (except him ofc bcs NERD) he’ll totally play along

- Which is probably why the whole reason it worked

- Some ppl def have a crush on him

- But he’s just so awkward and oblivious… I love him

- Also not rlly into the kind of dating that’s most common among teens? Does that make sense??

+++

- So for you, let’s say you’ve been his friend since forever, best friends perhaps

- He’s had a crush on you so long but has like no idea how to go about it

- And you think he’s not interested cause he has friendzoned you so hard multiple times before

- It was a panic reaction don’t blame him

- I can picture you coming together at sone school dance and it’s like really cliche

- I’ll make these longer later I’m sorry

-

SHANE

- stoner

- Like sorry but

- Maybe it’s my Connor Murphy obsession or maybe I’m right

- I’m basing this v much on mentally ill Shane ik that backstory only semi much works with a highschool setting but we dont rlly know abt pre mental illness shane so

- Generally not bad at school he just has intense down phases where he completely falls behind (relatable)

- Works at some fast food chain and hates it but yk money is money

- No one ever shows up for parent teacher talks bcs he doesnt want the school to know about his family and his family about school yk

- Quiet most of the time

- Mean when talked to

+++

- But also like he doesn’t rlly mean it with some people you just gotta po ker if he does for you and talk to him

- Good news: you’re very much an exception

- Phew

- I’m thinking forced project or something

- No actually I’m thinking one of you is the others dealer

- Probs starting as a kinda fwb thing that becomes serious

- There’s sm potential here icl

- I’m gonna rewrite all of this next week and get more into it

-

ELLIOT

- The weirdest kid in the grade but beloved by all

- Writes a lot, probably started a club that’s related to that somehow

- Wins a lot of those lil writing competitions schools do

- A romantic, hands out flowers or something to people on Valentine’s

- Like super mysterious and no one can tell if he does it on purpose or if it just kinda is like that

- Def has some ppl crushing on him

- Has been ppls secret admirer before

- Except it’s not rlly secret bcs who else would do allat

+++

- So when he falls for you it’s like that too

- You get mysterious letters and flowers from an admirer

- Except it’s not mysterious bcs Elliot everyone knows no one else does that!!!

- You pretend not to realize a while tho cause it’s sweet

- And then after a but you just give him a secret admirer letter back

- Even if it’s not quite as poetic as his

- He appreciates it sm cause it’s so rare people match his energy

- You’re couple goals but also lowkey make ppl sick with all your sap

-

HALEY

- Pretty popular

- She’s very confident and can be a bit brash so you might get the idea she’s a typical mean girl but she’s actually pretty sweet

- Especially with the girls

- You might get a comment about your messy makeup but best believe she’s fixing it up for you

- Girl in trouble? She’s right there without hesitation

- Has told so many of the guys off before for harassing girls or not taking a hint

- She’s a guardian angle ngl

- A whole bunch of people having a crush on her and it’s getting kinda rough

- If the person is respectful she’s really nice in rejecting them (or at least tries), she was mean about it like once and felt so bad after

- She knows she comes off as pretty harsh and it’s not always intentional yk

+++

- You probably meet through extra activities i forgot the name

- She gets a crush p quickly but like y’all wait till you rlly know you work as a duo before you dare ask her out

- Like you wanna have sth behind your question and what you say yk

- Okay i gotta stop writing but !!!!!! will fix this up and write more next week

- Also send requests or fandom talk please and thank you

[plasterhound]

HI RENE I SAW YOUR TAG AND I WAS HYPNOTIZED INTO ASKING ABOUT YOUR SLUGCATS… I’D REALLY LOVE TO HESR ABOUT DOWNTOWN’S WHOLE DEAL BUT TBH FEEL FREE TO YAP ABOUT ANYONE

HI LYNXXXX IM SO GLAD IT WORKED i mean whatever ill talk abt him ig

downtowns actually my first ever slugcat oc so hes old AS FUCK. Heres super old art of him & overheat (orange one) 👇👇

to talk abt him i need to talk abt where he lives first so heres an also old as fuck map of the nest 👇👇 rain world spoilers below

the nest is a region inspired by that official art on the right cuz i was really sad there werent any regions ingame like it. it was originally a REALLY old industrial district that grew obsolete after the whole void fluid thing turned whatever they were making all useless. they just decided to build an iterator on top and move everyone still living there to the city on top of it 👍 problem solved. Eventually it also got reclaimed by nature and now the nest is full of bioluminescent overgrown plants and scary shit whos probably alive. The iterator (unfinished painting) specialized in bioengineering and didnt gaf abt the stuff under her so she just dumped all her trash there . that may or may not have helped the nest speedrun its evolution

a long time ago a colony of slugcats settled there and eventually evolved into the kind of freaks downtown & his family are: theyre bigger, can climb and run on all fours and mainly eat meat. Though since theyre not that close to the bottom of the food chain anymore they don't live in colonies anymore and each do their own thing.

So now downtown. Hes a normal guy who just happened to have wandered too close to unfinished painting's leg while it was, by pure luck, being watched by an overseer. though paintings whole thing is producing purposed organisms she never cared about them, never even spared a second to look at them. but life after the mass ascension was SO boring she decided to turn her many overseer eyes towards the ground, watching the ants. We're the ants. And she realized these ants are actually really fun. So when she saw downtown so close to her leg she thought it would be even more fun if she lured him into her chamber

and that's what she did 👍 and he got the mark of communication and left really confused. and came back. and left again. and came back again. eventually he realized he was now Smarter than everyone else so there was like. no way hed be able to just go back to living his old idgaf life, so he started to hang around painting more and slowly they became friends. dont get me wrong downtown IS smart he just doesnt gaf abt most of the things painting says

now heres some recent art of them 👇 downtown is actually a little bigger than painting im just inconsistent af

eventually he ends up bringing his younger siblings to meet her too

he cant really understand that the whole superstructure is her so to him shes just the puppet. since she always looks the same to him he also thinks she SUCKS at being a parasite so sometimes he brings her food

downtown didnt really do anything crazy in his lifetime but he did mellow painting out and made her appreciate the critters living under her. she also kept sending a bunch of photos of him to the local iterators discord server and that convinced the senior (promise of incomprehensible harmony) to make a purposed organism based off of him so if downtown didnt befriend painting witness and their clone superhell wouldn't exist

painting once said it would be nice if his descendants also visited her and downtown was like well. SOMEONE needs to take care of this parasite. so he had much sex for the cause. though i dont have designs for all his kids yet but i only have this thing 👇

hope in snowstorms. distant descendant of downtown who befriended a witness and convinced it to run away with him. happy pride

[vegantinatalist]

why do you think "wrong body feeling" is related to autism/adhd?

-some autism spaces are seeing such a massive amount of autistic children being harmed by gender ideology that they are finally speaking up and determining that autistic kids need to be protected https://ovarit.com/o/GenderCritical/620071/evidence-based-autism-they-ve-gone-gender-critical

-we know that doctors who are giving gender affirming surgeries are making absolute obscene bank, this is a multibillion dollar industry, we have seen their discussions with eachother where its clear their goal is to make as much money as possible and to get people on whatever treatments take the longest and cost the most. they have full incentive to manipulate as many people as possible into believing this will help them and the most manipulatable people are children, scared parents, and some neurodivergent people/pw mental illnesses.

-personal/anecdotal, but when i was a kid there was a school i didnt go to but my friend did and i visited once. it was almost entirely populated with autistic students and every single one of them used neopronouns or believed they were trans and it was very cultlike, it was weird how the school practically only accepted these types of kids and i think they were either trying to protect these kids or were grooming them to follow gender ideology religiously. they even had breaks mid class where they would talk about it daily. every trans person ive ever met was autistic and ive met many -i have multiple autistic family members and i know a lot about what they experience. autistic people often experience discomfort just 24/7 in general, often without them being able to tell exactly what it is. all kinds of sensory things can bother them. being unable to communicate/being misunderstood is a common thing as well. being perceived also seems to be very stressful for them in general, even if they arent abused when young. i have watched with my own eyes how they tried to cope with this across their lifetimes. ive seen them as children trying to explain it by claiming they actually must be dogs or aliens. ive seen them as adults putting their complete faith in all manner of random bs explanations in hopes it will bring them understanding and salvation from their unending discomfort and feelings of isolation and being misunderstood. it is not at all difficult to imagine an autistic youth or adult stumbling into gender ideology and being convinced that transitioning is the answer. much of this also applies to adhd and sufferers of cptsd who are struggling to gain a sense of control over their bodies and mind after being terribly abused.

Im not saying all people who identify as trans are autistic/adhd and im not saying autism/adhd being the cause of something means it doesnt exist. im just saying i think for MANY trans people the root of gender dysphoria is actually just related to their neurodivergence and there are better ways to treat it.

Another example of a similar situation, is eating disorders and bpd. We know pw bpd are very likely to have eating disorders and a common thing you get educated on when you are learning about how to help ppl with bpd or eating disorders, is that you should first find out if they are neurodivergent in some way and get them treatment for that first. its like step #1. or if you know they have bpd, TREAT THE BPD FIRST and dont fixate on the eating disorder, and likely not only will the eating disorder be relieved but the laundry list of other issues related to bpd will get better as well. this is a huge problem with bpd- it often comes with so many other behavioral issues and physical pains that people get distracted and never treat the root problem. i think the same thing is going on here with autism/adhd and gender fixation. its a very similar thing. "my body is wrong, i must do these harmful things because, although it hurts, it hurts more to do nothing". but there is a third option. and people are not considering it, theyre going backwards and considering this third option offensive/an attack. understandable, because a lot of people are religious self righteous pricks and act severely smug about telling others they know whats best for them. i consider those people just as much a part of this problem, so i want yall to know i dont think anyone has any right to force any specific treatment on you or deny you the right to do what you think is best for you. this is just my experience and my advice and the warnings i want to give, especially about these doctors. and im also here on this blog to say that while it is your right to do what you want to do with your own body, it isnt your right to violate sex segregated space rules, those are womens rights that i want to defend. your rights end where others rights begin etc etc.

[ghostapop]

ocs tell me about your ocs

HEHEHE OK SOOO

my own universe ocs are a bunch of guys called the halloway detective society ; theyre a private investigator that takes cases specifically of a paranormal nature . theres lots of paranormal oddities in this world , ghosts (one of our detectives is one in fact !) and witches and demons called "mania" , to name a few . the unwritten story follows this very competent but very stupid found family as they solve various weird cases and get into all sorts of personal trouble despite the cases starting out not personal at all

im not gonna look for all my art of these guys rn (again , airport) maybe ill show that another time 🫡 but for now heres a rundown of our main three !!

milo rivera álvarez : main / pov character . built around my suicidalness . he wants to die so bad but he cant bc his bitch ass dad had some enemies n one of them cursed "his child to suffer lifetimes of tragedy" after milos bitch dad killed the guys kid horrifically . so he enlists the help of hds to break the curse so he can finally fucking dieee . of course hes poor as dirt so he cant actually pay them for their services so they form a contract that he works for them until they break the curse . his journey is abt learning how to live for others and then how to live for yourself ; by the end , although the curse is broken he doesnt kill himself . maybe he will one day , but not today

DOGCODED + KNIGHTCODED 💥💥 to the whole team but especially to julian , who hes mega gay for

julian chai : the little genius of the famed detective society . hes the best of the best at what he does , and absolute shit at everything else . and he doesnt mind it that way , even if its lowkey destroying his life . contrasting milo , julian has a very clear motivation for living - solving mysteries !! hes on earth to uncover curiosities , crack open the geodes in the world and investigate their sparkling jagged insides . he was made autism incarnate before i knew i was autistic . but hes so obsessed w his work thats its the only thing about himself that matters to him - it is him . theres nothing else there , what are you talking about . for someone who acts so high and mighty he has a pretty low selfimage once u talk to him for more than 3 seconds . julians journey is a mix of selfworth and opening ur heart to others n finding value in both urself and (more importantly for him lol) others

hes trans n named himself after the starring detective of a mystery series he was obsessed w when he was younger

mae valentine : most terrifying woman youll ever meet except shes a pathetic mess but she is still very much the most terrifying woman youll ever meet dont misunderstand . the concept for her character was "subverted girlboss trope" ; shes been moulded into the image of a callous violent uncaring woman and she wants to keep it that way . thats who she is . totally . she has to be this infallible fighter , because otherwise shes a lonely scared girl who doesnt know who she is . she hates herself , hates hurting her loved ones and innocents . she doesnt have to dig herself into this horribly spiky hole that harms everyone who goes near but she does . her journey isnt about finding who she is but starting the journey of finding who she is , opening the tiniest of wounds in herself to let in discovery

she has neon pink hair <3

also i must mention that she n milo have some wack toxic highschool girl best friends thing going on (they are whole adults .) where they love each other stupidly but theyre sickeningly jealous of each other to the point they lowkey cant stand each other but theyre also just two silly guys hanging out

(ive got a pinterest board for all of them btw its linked in my bio i think hehe ..)

[mako-neexu]

[own interpretation/only for those who can forgive]

daddy kink jokes and getting "dad-zoned" aside, dantes does have a reasonable explanation for the behavior and stance. and maybe thats why i like writing it so much into my fanfics. i dont understand why people dislike this... (is it because of pseudo-incest??? age gap???) but i like it so ill make a post with my thoughts. cut below

because it does come back to the original novel, where when he was incarcerated, his betrothed was stolen away from him and married another bc of pressure, his father believed in him until the end but died without ever seeing his son again... and then there is the Abbe, whom was also his 'fate' and had treated him like a son. so i really get that Abbe Faria who was his light and guide during his time alive would be tremendous inspiration and hope to his heart that has tasted the bowels of despair. coupled with studying under the old man, there was no doubt he truly picked up a lot of things from the Abbe... but also as he is his own person, dantes became a demon of vengeance, one who is compassionate and understanding as well towards victims of circuimstance and highly advocates for determination and personal retribution when wronged.

now, towards fujimaru ritsuka - constantly told to us by the narrative to be the Avenger, Count of Monte Cristo's fate, star, light, accomplice, and "one and only" - his care for them is highly overprotective and selfless that it ultimately becomes selfish and "evil" because it is at the cost of someone else's blood spilled for their sake. he feels like an overprotective father because that is one of the roles he took upon himself... or rather, what you could consider as "canon" if you aren't including romantic implications. (after all, there is that significant age gap that leads many people to simply think that he is a "partner in crime" (platonic) / "older brother" or best friend / "dad" type if the romantic implication isn't preferred by the player....)

but because in prison tower, guda saved him by letting him be their "Abbe Faria" combined with how their soul is and just how guda thinks of him and treats him, the kind of love he has for Fujimaru Ritsuka, grown further overtime, is a kind of madness where you can call it "poisonous". both to him and guda... because if you also think about it, dantes is far more dangerous than any outer god trying to invade their body and destroy the world theyre living in considering dantes in the waste pit and the amount of things sakurai hinted...

one of the factors that also contribute to dantes "dad-zoning" (not really) guda is because guda's family was basically massacred so i think he wants to ease the pain a little bit by being the 'father' in the fake tokyo for them because he cant recreate people guda barely remembers/or isnt in the surface on the bleached earth considering everyone is inside chaldeas, but also being the vengeance demon FROM the book, he doesnt know how to act in any other way other than being the man that was thrown into prison, met the Abbe, and escaped alive. the novel is what the world remembers so those parts of himself that was the "Avenger" was engraved unto the world. in order to help guda, the only way he could do it was through an Avenger like him would. and the man who was saved that is Edmond Dantes's hope and fate- his inspiration is Abbe Faria, whom saw him as a son... and guided him like a light. because with that desire to guide as a light the same way dantes was saved, he put himself into the father role due to how strong his feelings are for fujimaru ritsuka.

even towards haydee, she was constantly referred to as a 'child' throughout the novel because of the age difference until haydee really pressed on and told dantes she loves him romantically. so even to haydee, he felt like a parental figure first even with the master-servant relationship (a time where he can finally have things in control and do what he must to protect those he loves) and to abbe faria, he felt like a friend and a son to the priest (a time where he needed guidance and knowledge) and combined with his personal experiences, he wants what is best for his accomplice.......so i think its really understandable why he would be so close to an "overprotective father" to guda.

its a tough kind of love, but also, so overwhelmingly sweet. where if you struggle and do your best, you will be greatly rewarded no matter what. but if there are factors beyond you that even you cant do, dantes, no matter how incomprehensible and unreasonable he may be, is there to be the fire that will pave your path clear. just as long as you yourself walk it and let him guide you through it. very much like a father...

[octoberautumnbox]

Lets playy another this or that Smut edition

Pick one

Hiatus because your phsyical health OR Hiatus because your mental health

Help a legend writer who just comeback by editing or Help a very first writer with proof reading

Put your knowledge into the story (ie your major or experiences) OR Research for your story

Your family irl know youre a smut writer OR your partner (bf/gf) know youre a smut writer

Trying something new for your story because commision (ie new kinks) OR reject the commision

Establish relationship (already a friend, already a couple) OR Stranger to lover/sex

Realism setting (Idol as idol, you as manager) OR Semi realism (idol as barista/other jobs) OR fantasical settings (idol as elves/magic cratures)

Write a story based a challenge from other writer OR based a good anon ask

Write on Google docs OR MS. Word

hi anon! i love these :gibheart:

a hiatus is a hiatus no matter what causes it, but i will say ive had more mental health hiatuses than physical :nise:

oh i love helping out new writers! granted only one has ever reached out (my fellow glassy @howslemon's debut fic is something i treasure for more than just my contribution to it :DDDD) but id love to see more writers trying their hand around here!

hmm thats a tough one. im not really much for researching though i do make it a point to be realistic if the fic calls for it (my recent fic here for reference (remind me to edit this with a link when it comes out)) but this one comes from my own intimate knowledge of the university i went to which was equally yet distinctly fun to write too

my partner knows! they beta'd belle :luvv: also my sister knows, she beta'd aiah sorta

i dont think ill do commissions for a good while, but trying things out has always been something i loved doing. idek if i can call it an experimental phase when the whole time ive been writing it was always to try and push my own limits in ways that made sense to me :DDDD

strangers to lovers and friends to lovers/already lovers are both very cool flavors to add to fics for different reasons, but the connection you make in the fic itself, whether looking back or forging anew is something that shows the writer's skill and something u should definitely look out for when reading our other very lovely writers :nise:

i think we pave our own way was one of the funnest fics for me, and the word count limit really forced me to get creative with how i set the world up. fantastical settings need a lot in the background to work, but for how 우린 길을 만들어 came out i love it even if im the only one :sitt:

the crux here is just to flesh out someone else's ideas with my own personal twist, and more often than not anons will have a more concrete or specific vision (not that i would know. i dont get requests anymore lol) than say the prompts our very lovely writers challenge each other with every once in a while. when we do prompts usually a lot of writers like def mint raf and i go and post them but theres really so many more that other writers keep in the master doc when it comes out! also thanks @woollypoison for hosting hdskfjghdsjkgh sorry we got weird this time around i think

never really tried writing with word. left gdocs a while ago for @ellipsus-writes but as it stands now it's a bit lackluster (small image sizes and lack of a mobile app are bogging it down for me ngl) and im trying out notion for a little bit. ultimately it doesnt matter how fancy your guitar is, just that it has enough for you to be comfortable playing it is good enough :DDDD

thanks for the cool ask anon!! see u arnd :asaerombeatbox:

[endeavorsbiggesthater]

Dabi headcanons

ooc post moment?? yeah fuck it- yall asked and i shall deliver some dabi headcanons- ill tell you which ones are canon for this blog as not all of them are. if you dont like any of these headcanons i dont care- (i do but shhh) just dont bring it up- ANYWAYS ONTO THE HCS

Dabi runs hot, i dont give a shit what people say his body runs hot and its absolute torture for him, using his quirk makes this so much worse and he often gets dizzy when he reaches a certain point (not me projecting onto dabi a bit shhh) canon to the blog

He's bad at relationships- he doesnt really know how to act in them and so will often mess up or just not know what to say.. his way of showing affection most of the time is through helping the person is his own fucked up way, and a lot of the time it involves murder or arson because thats all he really knows how to do in terms of helping. canon to the blog

He doesnt ever really flirt with people in a non joking way, he'll do it for laughs sure but when it comes to actually flirting he just cant for some reason- if anyone does take his joking seriously he will just sorta go along with it tho. canon to the blog

He's had several hookups in the past but he always cut things off before it could have any emotion involved as he wasnt looking for anything serious at the time. did he kill at least one person because of this? maybe :D canon to the blog

Dabi is terrified of end up like endeavor when it comes to relationships and taking care of people, its why hes bad at them and acts like a disaster as the only frame of reference he has for that stuff is his dad. the last thing he wants to do is make his partner cry or be afraid of him even if he acts like hes super dangerous. canon to the blog

Its not so much a crush but dabi absolutely thinks shiggy is hot once he stops wearing the hand on his face all the time, and he will drive the man insane with the shit he'd say. semi-canon to the blog

He doesnt consider most of the league his family, more he considers them his friends, the only exception for this is toga who he absolutely views as a sister. canon to the blog

If he did manage to kill endeavor he wouldnt know what to do with his life, while he acts like it would just fix things and be the best he knows deep down that he would just feel empty without something to hate and obsess over so deeply.. canon to the blog

He wants to fix things with the rest of his family, especially shoto, however he doesnt know how to bring things up or even where to start. canon to the blog

One night stands are something he's way more comfortable with, relationships are just weird for him and theres too many emotions which he hates, but he likes feeling like someone actually needs him for something, even if its not really anything personal. non canon to the blog

ALRIGHT- those are some bigger ones about how he acts- now for a list of random small ones- all of which are canon

he could have stitched his skin together, he just thought staples looked cooler and fit him more

he isnt a huge fan of animals, but he likes cats more than dogs

his quirk doesnt have an official name, however he calls it cremation

he gets drunk as fuck with twice all the time, the two are drinking buddies and it always ends in some dumb shit

there are a lot of pictures of his family that he keeps in his room, all the ones that have endeavor in them hes been burnt out

while he has good control over his quirk most of the time that absolutely goes out the window when hes feeling anything strong, even if hes laughing too hard he can slightly start smoking

he will go along with stupid shit toga suggests to make her happy

giran has had to get him so many new costumes since he keeps burning them

hes killed far more than 30 people, the 30 is just for innocent people, he doesnt consider heroes nor other villains as innocent, so the real number is much higher

he still feels guilty for killing those children from the hospital he woke up in, they never asked to be there after all

the nomu he used in the forest training camp was partly designed by him, he was the one who asked for all the blades and stuff on it

hes dyed his hair many colors before until he settled on consistently dying it black

homura and natsuo are his favorite siblings

when fuyumi was first learning to cook hed refuse to eat the food she made

he may act like hes just annoyed that the other league members got hurt because it makes his plan harder but in reality hes worried for them and will want to hurt anyone who will hurt them

and finally! he cant taste things super well because his tongue is stapled together, however he can still taste enough to enjoy food

[intertexts]

EPISODE 21 TRIVIA:

- bizly, introing the episode: "welcome to just rolled with it where we answer our generations greatest question: will dakota cole break the law?"

- grizzly: "no, you know what? i think the final villain of prime defenders is william fucking wisp! i think youre playing out a villain backstory and youre going to snap and go batshit crazy" < hehehehehehehehe

- charlie: "i dont think its a secret that william is FOR SURE the most likely to become a villain out of the three of us. i dont see it as a permanent final thing but i definitely think it could happen at some point. i think he would have like a red x teen titans arc" WAHOO

- charlie CURRENTLY has no plans to do this he and bizly have never even discussed it. however he thinks its a possibility. "im playing this kid who is VERY smart and has a lot of ideas, but keeps getting shut down by basically everyone and i think hes starting to get a little desperate"

- they start talking about how when charlie plays william he gets "the Chip Brain" which is a reference to how in riptide bizly makes the most WILD NONSENSE decisions and then afterwards goes "i dont know why i did that i was just so in character and i felt like thats what he would do in the moment. out of character i agree that was fucking stupid why did i do that" << so. charlie gets this playing william too LMAO

- HEY UH. FUCKED UP SENTENCE INCOMING !!! "william has literally seen what happens after you die. thats knowledge that almost NOBODY else in this world has. and i think it makes him values life... less. hes seen that theres more after, hes seen that people kind of stick around, i think life to him is a lot more fragile and messy and less black-and-white, killing or not killing. it doesnt hold the same weight. becoming sort of apathetic and desensitized to the concept of death" << THIS IS AWESOMEEEEE FOR ME

- grizzly says hes glad william and vyncent didnt try to break the doctor out of prison like they thought they would because he genuinely wouldnt know how to play that as dakota

- charlie: "william has gotten so protective of dakota that if in his mind there was ANY chance that his friend would die all because of this guy being in jail over false charges, if that was the direction the conversation was going, william actually right then and there wouldve gotten him out. he couldnt have accepted that a situation like that would lead to losing his friend"

- grizzly: "iiiiii would like to sayyyy. bizly. will i still kick absolute ass if i dont have strength and speed, or will I just be some kind of loser" << bizly says maybe but he wpuld have to play dakota as more of a Regular Guy and just have him train at martial arts really hard

- DISCUSSING A TRAINING ARC AGAIN !!!!! which they think would be fun but they dont want to do another timeskip. (<<me who has future knowledge and knows how they figure this out: :3c)

- one of the biggest reasons keeping grizzly from agreeing to break the doctor out now is because hes really afraid he'll be super bitter against the family and augment himself to have some sort of powers and become a supervillain. and he thinks something like that happening would absolutely CRUSH dakota to a point where he wouldnt know how he would come back from that

- bizly had a real time epiphany, everyone was quiet for a minute and he just went "oh my god. i know exactly how this is gonna work. pick anything you want, i got this. i have a way to make everything work"

- grizzly has NO idea which option hes gonna choose, but he thinks hes leaning toward dakota getting a normal heart and just training really hard at martial arts. charlie and condi are saying that theyre really interested to see dakota before he goes and trains because theyve never seen him *weak* before

- grizzly: "if you ever call dakota stupid in character again ill cry"

charlie: "i mean i only did that because he was putting himself in danger! i think william heard him say shit like 'its cool. its okay ive got two years' and i think he just got genuinely really upset at that. william would rather keep his friend alive than spare his feelings"

- "if william ever did become a supervillain he would *never* hurt dakota" (<< WAUGH)

- charlie was gonna ask the doctor about williams whole decaying thing but decided not to because it didnt feel right in the moment. bizly goes "i mean you already know who you need to talk to about that" to which charlie goes NOOOOOOOOOO bc he is implying. mal

- charlie: "william doesnt wanna talk to mal he pisses him off"

grizzly: "why, because its like looking in a mirror?"

condi and bizly at the same time: "ooooooohhhhhhh"

- grizzly: "god this decision is so fucking hard i feel like i need an adult- OH MY GOD can we go see tide. can i not make my decision and instead we just go see tide"

- condi: "vyncent doesnt really know how to feel about this choice. he wants dakota to be powerful because he knows those powers are really important to him but he also doesnt want his friend to fucking die!"

- GRIZZLY IS TALKING ABOUT THE DEMON HE ATE AGAIN AND BIZLY GOT SO FRUSTRATED THAT HE ACCIDENTALLY REVEALED WILLIAM STUFF:::: "i dont think the demon works how you think it works, its not PHYSICALLY in your stomach it doesnt have a physical form you CANNOT digest it !!!! in this whole campaign, no spirit has been able to wander out and influence the physical world, thats why william is so special as a planeswalker! he is a spirit that has a physical form, he can affect the real world and also be in the spirit world without a guide!"

- theyre discussing the morality of the blake family and grizzly genuinely doesnt know if dakota could process something like this where its sooooo deeply in the grey area, dakota is very black and white he doesnt think he can even understand that right now

SUCH GOOOOD FUCKING TRIVIA THIS EP DUDE!!!!!!! thank u for the foooood. fuck yes a little bowl of seeds for me.

WIWI VILLAIN ARC. PLEASE. PLEASE. YEAH. honestly at this point i know it's going to happen, i just don't know when n how. not even from ur ominous giggling it just feels SO clear to me that he is a guy who can be so desperate and do anything for the people he loves and i... give him One situation where he doesn't have his very fragile support system of two other extremely fucked up teens and their absent dad who he just doesn't wanna disappoint!!! give him one fucking situation where he's separated from them and scared and there's some threat and you fucking KNOW he's going to be Up To Some Shit. i'd bet real money on both the villain or at least morally grey conflict arc AND that general setup being the catalyst.

god. literally all of this stuff is SOOO good i'm fucking LOCKED ON to the other wiwi planeswalker shit-- that's basically what i was thinking? when the planeswalker thing had come up before? but. tasty... before i started 22 my assumption here was then that the decay situation was like. a subconscious... choiiiice? i guess? like. you know. he perceived himself as dead and his body began to reflect that & then he looked more dead so he got more dead etc etc vicious cycle. but. now i'm not sure??????? ALSO. that thing ab his thoughts on death are so fucking tasty. so so good holy shit. makes sense!! makes sense!! there's less gravity to death when it's just a place you can go, there's less gravity to killing when it's not permanent-ending, just shifting someone from one place to another. like, y'know, when u were a kid, and there was someplace u never went very often & so u thought it was Special and Important & then u grew up and figured out it wasn't actually Special and Important and an Occasion to go there, your mom just hated the parking situation or it was a bit too far for a car ride w/ little kids. that's what death is like to william wisp!! head in hands. not even gonna touch on mal rn!!!

anyway. ghostkicksisms................

[thewardenisonthecase]

new ask game yap about your guys in my inbox and ill say if they'd get along with my guys

This is about to be a very long post. I'm so sorry for the length but im neutodivergent so when someone gives me a chance to talk about my ocs the chamber of secrets that is my brain becomes unravelled and an essay just spills out. 🤣

I think your Warden would dislike mine because he has one sided beef with Analise's love interest lmao. 🤣

He is an elven mage and he hates the Wardens and doesn't want to be there lol, he sees them as a leash in the same way he saw the Circle. Duncan had to get him conscripted to get him out of the Circle. He dislikes being involved in conflict, especially anything that would put him in the spotlight or hinder his chances of survival. He uses avoidance as a coping mechanism, where he will go out of his way to avoid things that he knows will lead to pain, such as letting people close or avoiding dealing with his problems or emotions. He is also essentially a mini Irving, he is very manipulative ans isn't afraid to use people as pawns as a means to ensure his chances of survival and for his own ends. He doesn't like needless cruelty though, he doesn't go out of his way to be purposefully cruel to someone, but he will use kindness as a means of deception. He also doesn't lie outright but he does spin the truth around to suit his own ends.

He has some trauma with templars and lets just say that alistair being a templar doesn't help matters and alistairs narrow minded perspective regarding magic also doesnt help because my warden gets bored easily and he tends to be drawn to people with interesting people, which he finds alistair lacks. He literally gets along with everyone else in camp just fine except for alistair. They only started getting along somewhat because my warden found out that alistair was a bastard Prince from all eamon so then he started being kind to alistair and exploiting his want and need for someone that is like family to him. He tells himself his dislike of alistair is because he's a templar but it isn't. This bitch uses excuses to justify his own actions to make himself feel better lmfao. He is actually jealous of alistair because my warden is quite cynical in reaction to what he has been through and how he essentially had to adopt a mentality of neutrality and conflict avoidance in order to survive within the Circle. Alistair was actually a lot like my warden as a child, and Alisfair is essentially the inner child that he had to kill inside of himself in order to survive and so my warden takes alistairs idealism and naive optimism as a personal insult to his own experiences. Which is not healthy but my warden doesn't really have that much of a healthy coping mechanisms so that's just how he deals with it. He romanced Morrigan and would keep pushing her away when he got feelings for her because he got scared about how vulnerable it made him and there's nothing he hates more than being vulnera le with someone he sees it as a weakness. He also dislikes people who are self righteous and dislikes the chantry. He would be like "yaas queen go girl" to anders blowing up the chantry because he's a petty ass bitch. Ironically enough he dislikes violence especially unnecessary violence and prefers more subtle, logical approaches to things but he's also an impatient bitch so when he gets annoyed that something is taking too long he will act on impulse and take the easiest way out of the problem. 😭

Bro literally threw jowan under the bus because he knew that if he were to assist jowan or refuse helping Irving that Irving would not hesitate to throw my warden under the bus if it served his own ends. My warden prioritises his survival above all else because living to survive is essentially all he's ever known so he thinks "better me than jowan". He also used to be in the kirkwall circle and saw one of his friends get made tranquil so he had no desire to do that whole thing again. Also jowan lied to him and I said my warden is a petty ass bitch. He was also not about to throw away his life for a shitty plan. Also part of him also wanted to get Lily into trouble because Irving instilled in his mind Lily was a necssary sacrifice for the Circle. Bro doesnt even give two flying fucks about the Circle, he doesnt even want to be there .But any chance to take a blow at the chantry he will take it because again hes petty. 🤣😭

This is getting way too long. I'm so sorry I got carried away lol. He gets along the best with Sten, Morrigan and Leliana. He and Leliana have a friendship where is like "let's make each other worse xoxo", and then he has the most genuine relationship with sten, because sten could smell my Wardens dishonest manipulative bs from a mile away and so my warden never tried to do so again. They often disagree but my warden finds sten fascinating and is always asking him questions. Sten pretends getting annoyed at him, buti do think he enjoys his company because he buys sten cookies in exchange for answering his questions. 🤣

As for Morrigan i think her initial thoughts were probably that my warden was a spineless coward because bro kept running away from Encounters or talking his way out of problems because he could not be bothered lmao. When she saw him sacrifice Isolde in a blood magic ritual and then selling Connors sole to the demon in exchange for learning blood magic I think that's when it all changed because my warden pretends to be the most badic bland bitch on earth and makes himaelf appear bland as fuck on purpose just so that people will leave him alone and that people will understimate him so he can get the upper hand on his enemies. 🤣🤣

He also has branch destroy the Anvil not out of the goodness of his heart but because he doesn't want to deal with the guilt of making a decision that will lead people to their deaths, but he justifies it to himself as giving branca a chance at redemption to make himself feel better. 💀

He has a bit of an obsession with poisonous plants and just poisons in general and so his eyes sparkled when morrigan started to talk about how she knows about poisonous plants in the wilds. I think that's how he knew she was the one he was going to romance. 🤣🤣

He essentially also manipulated Alistair into hardening him and molding him into someone he could use as a puppet to put on the throne, but then alistair refused to marry Anora so he lost patience and let Alistair be sacrificed out of impulse and then he had the audacity to console Alistair by telling him that his sacrifice is for the greater good. He also becomes Chancellor too and becomes Anoras right hand man. He recruited Loghain as well. It was certainly an interesting playthrough to say the least. Idk why but Alistair and my warden were giving Maferath x Andraste parallels and it was kind of interesting to see lmfao.💀

new ask game yap about your guys in my inbox and ill say if they'd get along with my guys

honestly, your warden having one sided beef with Alistair is going to be the least of anneliese's issues (she honestly. does not care if someone doesnt like alistair, that's not her issue. morrigan is a close friend and we all know how she and alistair get along)

i think the manipulation and the survival of the fittest mentality might be the thing that makes her. not fuck with him a lot. but also here's the thing too, she is bffs with Morrigan and morrigan has some of those qualities too, so i do think it also partially depends on how willing your warden would be to be. idk not open but be friends with her or smthg.

he better not try to like. manipulate her or use the whole kindness as deception because she will see through it and she will get pissed off about it.

i think like. she wouldn't ouright dislike him but it would take both parties wanting to build a bridge for things to happen. anneliese will try anyways to like be friendly and not mind certain things but the whole manipulation thing will be the one thing that makes her be suspicious.

also i love the alistair-andraste-maferath-your warden parallels

[pixlokita]

im with you, i hate that it feels like its gregory vs cassie in the fandom rn. theyre KIDS.

i also dont think its gregory in the main(?) ending (there are so many things that make it not make sense for it to be him), and it bothers me so much that people are pouncing on “gregory is evil” - he is a CHILD.

i really hope people dont pester you about drawing them as friends, i personally would love some art from you with them being friends <3 as much as i am a fan of the angst potential of that ending, cassie being tricked by the mimic (grimic? is that actually the canon name..?) one last time to pit her against gregory when really neither side did anything wrong is far moe interesting in concept than “gregorys just evil” could ever be imo.

i personally love feral/menace gregory, but hes not evil - again, hes a kid! and hes been in terrible circumstances! im not sure i could even really be mad if that WAS him in the elevator - a genuinely terrifying threat was released, and he might not be able to trust cassies voice, just like she couldnt trust his. we know cassie was okay, that the mimic wasnt with her (well, aside from the arm), but gregory had no way of knowing any of that.

seemingly, hes with vanessa and freddy. if he risked it and it WAS the mimic and not cassie, he could lose everything and more all over again. i cant imagine being a kid having to make such an awful decision. keep your current family safe, or risk everything in case your best friend somehow made it?

he knows how dangerous the plex is. and i can only imagine how much more dangerous hed expect it to be now. he barely made it out with freddys help, and as far as he knows, cassie doesnt have someone there to help her.

i feel so bad for gregory, both in-game, and in the fandom! he doesnt deserve all this hate.

sorry, that wasnt supposed to be a tangent - my point is im a gregory defender and 100% on your side. i hope no one is a prick about you drawing cassie and gregory as friends. ill personally fight them for u pix i promise

I agree with a lot of what you said tbh and heck dude Gregory is indeed a child, he’s even had to do things he didn’t want to do and got the short end of the stick every time. Cassie is a bean also, like she didn’t deserve to be tricked she didn’t deserve to be traumatized and she didn’t deserve to also get the short end of the stick either. It’s just I just really can’t accept that Gregory would do that to her either and ? If I’m wrong then okay? But like that’s just what I chose to believe and what I chose to draw I don’t get why people have to prove me wrong about it or pull lore nonsense into it to make sure I feel like I’m wrong. I mean =w= even retorting to insults like we’re in kindergarten is just ridiculous?Plus other people being stupid made me give up on interacting with anyone on that particular art piece. I felt like the end of ruin wasn’t satisfying so I drew art to feel better and try to understand it better and people took it personally =w= very mature honestly, they could just make their own art and leave mine alone.

[finnyphcntom]

notorious.

--------

Chapter One : The Word Hate

--------

Did he over exaggerate? Yes. But something inside of him just.. felt weird when Dandelion was shamed upon. Geralt wasn't that bad of a dude, especially to Dandelion.

Lambert hated to say- yes, hated, that word again. He hated that he actually enjoyed Dandelion's presence.

--------

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : oh but id lovee to convince you. maybe we can get a lil tipsy and ill go home with you, yeah handsome? ;)'

--------

Lambert was... notoriously known, for many things. What things? Well, the list is long, but here is the simplified version;

Being a bitch.

And then there was... well, thats about it.

He hated, hated, just about... Well, all? Of Geralts friends. Eskel would always say, "hate is such a strong word,"

Well no shit. He knew that, used it for a reason.

Speaking of hate, he hates when they hang out.

He was rather tired of everyone hanging out without inviting him. Yeah, he'd decline with a 'fuck no' or 'i hate triss lol' but, hell, he still wants at least an invite.

But no one bothered to invite him anymore.

They act like he doesnt know, isnt aware, of these events. Hes heard them talk, all because hes 'too angsty.'

Be real. If they had an Aiden, and then said Aiden died, theyd he angsty too.

Which, he will say, Geralt does have his Aiden.

Dandelion.

Lambert hated to say- yes, hated, that word again. He hated that he actually enjoyed Dandelion's presence.

And do you know what he hates even more?

That hes jealous.

He hates that he's jealous, and hates that he doesnt know what over.

Over Geralt? Maybe.

Over Dandelion? Maybe.

The fact that Dandelion gets invited to hangouts? Maybe.

Oooor the fact that Geralt, who treats Dandelion like shit, gets to keep his best friend. And he doesnt. Bingo, baby.

Well, okay, maybe it was a mix of all four.

But no, he heard of this party that was happening at Yennefer's house. How could he not? Kiera informed him alllll about it.

And another thing he was known for; not only being a bitch, but a petty one at that.

He was going to show up at that damn party.

~~~~~~

Lambert expected many things in his day. To fold clothes, deal with shitty customers, fold clothes again, to fix registers because somehow no one else knew how to do that, and then to again, you guessed it, fold clothes. Oh, and deal with shitty customers.

And then, he would go home around 3pm, just to clean horse shit and feed the goats on the farm. Only sometimes would he find holes in his perfectly good jeans.

But what he didnt expect? His phone to light up with a text. Ever since losing his girlfriend, he hasnt had a single text, other than from Eskel.

Eskel was a family man. Soft, sympathetic. He thinks he would have a little bit more trouble lying and hiding stuff behind his back. He thinks any of these people who are hosting these parties, throwing the- his phone dings again.

Oh, right. He was so used to a lonely phone that he forgot it went off.

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : hey lambert, i know we dont really talk but what time is that party tomorrow? ive got a performance that day and want to arrange an uber ^-^'

Holy fucking shit? It had to be Dandelion. No one else in the group was talented enough with music to perform it.

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : also!! how come u never go? :('

That was the second message.

Did Dandelion not know?

What does he do? He hated to say that his heart was racing. Why was his heart racing? It was just Dandelion. Just a rising celebrity with like seven degrees- from Oxenfurt no less- and his brothers best friend.

His heart was fucking racing. Does he be cool? Does he be mysterious? Should he even answer?

No, no he had to answer.

The few times hes talked to Dandelion have been.. amazing, actually. Of course, Dandelion had an issue with talking to strangers, and also, well, sleeping with strangers, but that was fine. Lambert felt like Dandelion enjoyed talking to, well...

Lambert.

Not Geralts brother, not a bitch (which he will admit he is,) not a depressed, angsty man who practically lives in his room at the farm he grew up on. Which he was.

His phone dings again. Shit.

Lambert grabs his phone off of his car mount this time, sitting in the parking lot of his shitty retail job at Cavill's Combat.

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : oh shit my bad i probably shouldve clarified. this is dandelion im sorry'

Be chill Lambert.

'lambert : heyy yeah no youre good lol'

The multiple y's were cool? Right? Showed he was calm. One Y was boring, three was excessive. Right?

'lambert : as for the party, i have no clue thats a geralt question.'

He decides not to answer the second question. For now.

He puts his phone back on the mount and his car in drive, pretending like he didn't flinch at the sound of the bluetooth connecting.

His phone dings again, and he cant answer, but he does peak at the message.

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : well i wou .. geral ... mad ... ignoring me ...'

That was all he could see for now. Quit frankly, that was all he needed to see.

Did Geralt ignore Dandelion whenever he was mad?

My brain was shut off upon hearing the first Hollywood Undead song start.

~~~~~

When I arrived home, I was bombarded with questions. Eskel was that type of man.

"How was your day at work?" He said from the kitchen, where Lambert was trying to sneak on by.

"Long." Lambert said. "Henry wasnt there."

His boss. Whenever Henry was gone, Lambert had to pick up all the shit- as an assistant store manager.

"Didnt have to fix anything today though, right?" Eskel said.

What a fake fucking bitch, Lambert thought.

"So... do you want me to fix you something to eat?"

He heard it, but didnt register it.

Being the odd one out was quite the funny thing. He lost his best, childhood friend of 14 years in his sophomore year of college to suicide.

He drops out of said college. Decides to start therapy; ends up getting sent to a psych ward.

And now hes working at some shitty fucking retail job; and still working at his adoptive fathers farm.

Yeah, life was fucking great. A ball of fucking sunshine.

Eskel was a doctor. Geralt was a successful Butcher, working under their adoptive father.

And he was a depressed man with a shitty retail job.

"Hello? Lambert?"

Without thinking, Lambert grabs the nearest item which just so happened to be a decorative vase, squeezing it tightly...

"How are things since you ended it with Kiera?"

and throws it.

Right at Eskel.

He's rather lucky it misses. Shatters all over the ground instead of on Eskel's mass.

"You're fake. Did you know that? You're a liar. You're a fraud. Stop with the fake fucking persona that you care about me."

And with that, he has no choice to storm away.

~~~~~

In his room, hes able to check his phone again. The text from Dandelion was sitting there, menacingly.

'lambert : does geralt always ignore u when hes mad at u?'

With how busy Dandelion was, you werent expecting an immediate response.

But you get one.

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : typixally he tellsme to fuck off and rhats how i know hes mas at me'

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : u should go :( ive never seen u there, i know u dont like me'

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : but i got a few tricks up my sleeve to convince u too ;)'

It takes Lambert a bit to decipher Dandelions absolutely awful typing. For a man with an english degree, he is sure as hell bad at English.

Lambert kept reading the, 'i know u dont like me.'

Who the fuck told Dandelion that? Because Lambert has never, not once, discussed any sort of dislike for Dandelion.

If anything, Lambert actively defends his name. He remembers all the times Geralt spoke about ignoring Dandelion, called Dandelion annoying.

Lambert would always stick up for him.

Were there any good reasons why? He had a bunch, personally.

One, and the biggest reason, was that Lambert would kill in cold blood to be able to talk to his best friend again.

Two, is that Dandelion was a good person with good morals. And incredible talent. Dandelion deserved love and praise, not hate from his closest friend.

Three, he was oddly drawn to Dandelion. He didn't know why.

Did he over exaggerate? Yes. But something inside of him just.. felt weird when Dandelion was shamed upon. Geralt wasn't that bad of a dude, especially to Dandelion.

But it's common decency not to talk shit about your best friend when the person you're talking to lost theirs to suicide.

Kind of inconsiderate, Geralt.

'lambert : lol who told you that? i like you'

He suspects it was Triss. Maybe Yennefer had assumed? Lambert didnt really like anyone, it was a safe assumption. But Geralt knew- knew Lambert actually at least tolerated Dandelions presence.

He even told Geralt that he wanted to be Dandelion's friend. That Dandelion reminded him of Aiden. He opened up to Geralt, surely his own family wouldn't do him dirty like that?

Dandelion didnt answer, and Lambert didnt know why, but it disapointed him.

'lambert : i gotta know what those tricks are though, care if i ask for a little more convincing? ;)'

Lambert was going to shit his pants.

First, he double texts. Which is fine, because Dandelion like... quadruple texts. But then he had to hit on the man.

It was playful, right? It wasn't gay. Playful. A game.

Why was his heart racing again?

He was straight anyway.

~~~~~~

Eskel was full of concern at the dinner table when Lambert didnt show up. There sat Geralt and Vesemir, but Lamberts seat was eerily just.. empty.

"Lambert skipped his farm work today," Vesemir said, taking a bite of his mashed potatoes, before grabbing salt and shaking what seemed to be half the bottle in it. Taking another bite, he seemed satisfied.

"He didnt respond to my texts at all. Read every single one, too." Eskel said. "And he..."

Eskel did not want to throw Lambert under the bus. Not when it seemed something was seriously wrong.

"I had to pick up his fucking slack," Geralt said. "Seriously, this kid needs to grow up. We all work in jobs we don't like. I don't like slaughtering pigs and looking at blood, and I'm sure that Eskel doesn't like performing surgery. But we aren't babies about it."

Geralt was chewing into his food like a rabid animal, clearly angry. The steak that was on his plate was massacred, cut up and stabbed.

The walls at Kaer Morhen were pretty thin. The farm itself was nice, but the house wasn't in the perfect condition. It was pretty, but old, some of the rooms half-finished.

Therefore none of the men were surprised or so much as even flinched when Lambert yelled, seemingly speaking to his T.V screen and taking his anger out on Overwatch.

90% of Lambert's free time was spent on video games. It used to be with his girlfriend, Kiera, but she slowly started avoiding him.

He hardly noticed the change. It was gradual; slow, but eventually he caught on. She wasn't the same.

For his own sake, he left her. He will admit, he loved her, but it wasn't hard. She messaged him once every few days.

"He broke up with Kiera, Geralt." Eskel says. "And now hes having a rough time. Maybe we should cut him some slack."

"Don't really care. Shouldn't of been as toxic as he was." Geralt said.

"We should try to understand Lambert. He comes before a girl, Geralt. Put those events with her aside, it's clearly driving a wedge between the three of you."

They could hear Lambert; which means Lambert could hear them.

Toxic? That was funny. He devoted everything to that girl. She ran a small business he would fund- which typically took his full paycheck from Vesemir. Other than that, she didn't really work. He paid for everything.

Toxic was funny.

"Lambert was too much stress on her. Shes a girlfriend, not a therapist. Girls don't like emotional guys, I cant help that." Geralt says, sharply and angrily.

"Lambert hardly talks about emotions." Eskel corrects.

"Sure as hell corrects me all the damn time about them. Sick of him calling me ungrateful and shit. I cant control his losses." Geralt said, with a tone that ended the conversation there.

~~~~~~

Toxic was funny. Really, really funny. Was it toxic to correct your brother on his own toxic behavior?

Lambert didn't understand.

Geralt. A man who ran everything in his life with his dick, not his brain. Who cheated on women, who verbally abused his friends. Who ignores his so called "best friend" because he's mad.

Thats actually not really that bad, but whatever. Lambert was mad, and petty, and wondering why Dandelion hadn't answered him.

Why was he thinking of that? Not okay, Lambert. He's busy. Probably recording music and getting yelled at by his directors.

Toxic was funny, when Lambert was so loyal. When Lambert tried his best to fit in, he just genuinely never did.

Toxic was so, so funny.

His mind ran off, to a different place, one where theres grass and tulips and roses and fuck- Dandelions.

Dandelion.

Would Dandelion prioritize Lambert over Geralt? Sure, they'd talk. But when he's mad at Geralt. When Geralt's not around. He would be a rebound for a best friend.

Just like he was to Kiera.

He had just won a match when his phone dinged and lit up three times.

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : hi ! sorry had to finish up recording a song for my album. stupid director :(

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : oh but id lovee to convince you. maybe we can get a lil tipsy and ill go home with you, yeah handsome? ;)'

Lambert was kicking his feet, giggling, and squealing like a high school girl. Well, his face was stoic, but mentally he was there. Mentally he was going insane.

He had never been hit on deliberately like that. Like stated before, he was the odd one out. With Geralt and Eskel his brothers, he was known as the ugly one of the family.

He was surprised when Kiera wanted him. Him, out of the three. He had made the move, god forbid a woman make a move on him. But she still accepted- still chose him.

She used to fuck with Geralt a couple years back, back when Geralt and Yennefer would cheat on each other. He always had girls left and right. Kiera, Yennefer, Triss, and boy, did he have a shit ton of one night stands.

He wasn't surprised when Kiera got distant. It hurt at first, but he realized one thing- thats life. She lost interest.

When people normally got to know him, they would see Geralt and run. They'd lose interest in him, all of the sudden. But Geralt would never take them from him though, he wasn't that bad a person.

And he wasn't a bad person either. But Geralt's best friend currently hitting on him? It shouldn't make him feel giddy inside. It shouldn't make him so happy that it felt like someone had chosen him over Geralt.

He couldn't help but smile.

But it was playful. It was all playful.

He couldn't help but feel his smile drop, as he went to read the last message from Dandelion. His face contorted in anger; wanting to lash out all over again.

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : it was geralt. glad to see youve changed ur mind tho! <3'

[alisria]

i know i am just smad because im tired and in pain and havent eaten in 12 hours and have no plans to but

i think as i approach 30 i am really starting to lose my mind a little bit about how ive spent 27 years putting my life on hold until X. like oh i will go out and do new things when i have X. i cant enjoy travelling until i have X. i cant be happy until i have X. and like. X doesnt seem possible anymore. i dont have the willpower to make it happen. i dont care enough. because i never gave myself anything to care about because that was something that would come after X. well what the fuck do i do when X never comes? feel like this forever? because ive certainly been dealing with that reality my entire life. and i can look at my friends and see they dont need X to be happy and thats fine and im so glad for them and i dont WANT them to need X but i do.

and it's like. okay well if X is my obstacle, what are the steps i need to take to get X? okay well join your support groups. go to your doctor. get more doctors. beg for help with X from them. from your family. and then the support groups say "you dont want it enough", the doctors say "you shouldnt want X at all", and your family doesnt answer your pleas because what you want doesn't matter, you dont want it enough, you should be doing other things, etc. and it's like. all my life i have felt like an absolutely massive part of me is missing. and the only thing that will fix it is X. doctor will give you vyvanse. doctor will give you all the hormones you can dream of without you even fucking asking. doctor will offer gender affirming surgery you dont even want. but you beg for X, you beg for help just getting closer to X, you write out a page of reasons why X would get you closer to finally feeling like a real person, like yourself, a self you havent even fucking met yet at nearly 30 years old, and doctor goes "ehhh well you need to learn to be happy without X. because you can't have it." and its like well girl what the FUCK do i do because thats the only thing ive literally ever wanted and i've structured my entire life over the pipe dream of maybe having it someday and i CANT have anything else until i have X and they kind of shrug and give you another doctor that goes yeah no you dont get a diagnosis and nothing is wrong with you and i wont help you get X so no more appointments call me if you need me but doctor i am fucking pagliacci.

and there's that nagging thought, that if i get X, nothing will change. the support groups tell you this. nothing will change. you will still be socially inept, you will still be mentally ill with agoraphobia, you will still struggle every fucking day of your life with choices that tear you apart. and i can hear that for 10 years and still feel incomplete without it. i am defective goods and i need a part installed and people either say "well you dont need that part to work!" "you can be happy without the part!" "you can never have the part, even if you get it installed it will never work so why even bother?" and this is supposed to feel like support. this is supposed to be positivity. but it's not. maybe it is for other people. but it isnt for me. but i can have hormones if i want!!!!! here you can transition wont that make you feel better!!!!! wont that make you hate yourself less!!!!! have as many hormones as you want!!!!!!!

and on tuesday im going to go to the doctor and smile and say everythings great im fine physiotherapy is working the meds are working everything is perfect see you in 3 months when i am quite literally rotting inside and there is no cure

im going to bed