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not-me-simping-for-blasty · 4 years ago

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another helping of living w/ bakugou thoughts:

pls i am so sorry, i feel like i bombard y’all with these constantly, but u don’t understand, he literally lives in my brain full time

- if you’re rolling your sleeves up, to wash your hands before dinner, he’ll whack your hands away and do it himself. very much “you’re takin’ too long, idiot. i wanna eat already. let me do it.”,, don’t be fooled tho, you could do it in 2.5 seconds and he’d still open his mouth. bc it has absolutely nothing to do with u and everything to do with him wanting to be close to you

-ik he watches the mha equivalent of the history channel. i just know it. dude is a grandpa at heart, n im so confident he would 100% sit down and watch a 3 hr docu on like, old weaponry or some nerdy shit

-bakugou is annoyingly arrogant, but only about things that don’t matter. like, he’ll fully sit in front of you and tell you he’s stronger/faster/smarter in passing conversation,, but when he does actually impressive shit??? the man clams up. absolutely clams up the second you praise him, trying to brush off whatever ridiculous feat he just pulled to protect u with a “It’s not that big a deal, shut up about it already, dumbass.”

- pls mans is an absolute simp. u ask him to do something and he’s on his feet in a second. ofc he’s complaining but he’s also then following that up by doing things you didn’t even ask him to do. fan behavior honestly.

-when you’ve had a bad day, he’ll make u food and throw blankets in the dryer for u. don’t expect much verbal comforting from him, bc obviously, but he’s pretty good with actions. you always feel a little warmer after he’s wrapped you in a blanket n fed you something ungodly spicy

- i have absolutely no basis for this but ik he secretly watches kids movies. like, if it’s animated then he’s there. ofc no one is allowed to find out about this ‘embarrassing’ behavior tho, except maybe you. maybe. if you accidentally happen to see it bc he’d never tell u himself.

- he’s a beast to wake up in the morning, but he’s a lot more easy to convince if u pet his hair. or rub his back/shoulders. maybe even kiss his neck. look, u cannot tell me that he doesn’t want to be absolutely coddled in the morning- especially when he can get away with it so easily.

-bakugou always pulls ur legs into his lap if u sit down next to him. pls he’s so weird, he’ll just like, tap his fingers on ur calves absentmindedly while he’s watching tv

-he probably created a playlist of songs ur ‘allowed’ to play around him. meaning, it’s only the songs on ur phone that he likes 🙄

-bakugou always takes his work phone calls outside. like if his phone rings he’ll just stand up n walk tf out the door to take it. even if it’s cold. u ask him once about it n he just “Work stays at work. This is my fuckin’ home. Now shut up about it already.”

-you’ve never once seen this man wearing socks around the house. don’t ask me, i cannot explain this whatsoever, but i just kno this man walks around constantly barefoot 🤢🤮 unfortunately.

-he’s like, the most functional person ever in almost every aspect, but the stuff katsuki is bad at?? pls he is hopelessly bad. like, lets say art stuff. omg he just doesnt have the patience for it, okay, so say goodbye to any dreams of cute lil couple’s crafts. like, he’ll sit there while u do yours, but his will look like utter shit

- during the week, katsuki is either at work, training, or at home. pls, he works so hard during the day that i highly doubt he’s anything but an absolute homebody during the work week.

- bakugou gets pissy if u re-arrange any of the furniture on a whim. pls he likes comfort and familiarity n if he stubs his toe on the stupid coffee table one more fucking time, he’s going to scream

-its a rare occurance,, especially bc of the crazy hours he works,, but bakugou rlly likes making dinner for u to come home to. he just likes to feel like he’s taking care of u tbh

-he still goes to bed at like 8:30. or thats what u think, but rlly he just goes to sit in your room and have some time to himself for a bit. as much as he loves u, he prob still needs some alone time to recharge

-bakugou takes meticulous care of any plants u have in the house. like he’ll water them on a strict-ass schedule, n preen them when necessary. pls the way he’ll curse them out if they even dare to wilt under his care?? very much “What the hell, you bitch? ‘m doin’ everything fuckin’ perfect! Grow already!”

-katsuki is such a little bitch when he’s sick. he’ll be running like a 103 temp, brain literally melting, and still trying to get up and work out. the only way u can get him to chill the hell out is if u take a nap with him. ofc that means u always get sick too,, but hey- lil sacrifices right??

-he never lets you get the door. like, if there’s a knock n neither of u knows who it could be,, pls he’s on his feet so fast. waving u away n looking thru the keyhole w/ sm suspicion

-he has his spot on the couch, n u will not find him sitting anywhere else. like, that’s his spot. u better pray for anybody who mistakenly takes it

-bakugou doesn’t like dirt or grime, so he won’t allow you or himself, to sit on your bed with clothes that have been outside. like, even if you’re just sitting on top of the covers, he’s gonna throw a fit and demand you change your clothes first bc “No way in hell am I gonna let your dumbass dirty up my bed.”

-katsuki rlly likes when it storms outside. he’ll go sit in front of the window and watch the rain, sipping on a warm drink while he waits for more thunder.

-living with bakugou is incredibly frustrating, bc he’ll just show up with new skills all of the goddamn time. like you’ll be like, “hmm i’d love to remodel the bathroom someday”,, and the very next weekend bakugou is meticulously re-tiling the bathroom floor by hand, probably also painting the walls in a new color, maybe even installing a new sink just to spruce it up. n then he’ll just present the entirely new, upgraded room with such weird nonchalance that it pisses u off. pls and if you watch him while he does these little projects, with all the weird precision and skill he suddenly gains?? pls you’re sure he must be possessed by the ghost of a craftsman

- when he hangs out with the bakusquad, he’ll drag you along every time. he expects you to sit with him the entire time and act as a social buffer?? basically, someone’ll ask him a question, one he deems stupid and therefore not worth answering, and bakugou will just look at you expectantly. he’ll just stare at you blankly, hardly even blinking until you pick up the slack and answer for him. you call him out on this many times, but it doesn’t matter. it doesn’t change anything. he does this over and over and over again

-bakugou gets really unsettled when you guys fight. like, he can’t sleep and he’s snapping at everybody, and is somehow more aggressive than usual. he always wants to just make up already, but the pride in the way won’t allow it

-he’s a weird stickler about intended furniture functionality?? like, the table is for eating, and the couch is for watching tv, and then only way you’re gonna get him to mix the two is if you ask him rlly rlly nicely

-finally- i have no basis for this one, but ik it in my heart: bakugou has a very intense fight with your thermostat nearly every single day. he swears up and down that it never ‘behaves’ for him, but every time you check it, it’s working perfectly fine

--/--

ahahhaa sorry y’all for the super random spam today,, but here were are back to our regularly scheduled bakugou programming,,,, bc idk if it’s obvious ur honor, but i love him

#bnha bakugou #mha bakugou #bakugou katsuki #katsuki bakugou #bakugou x reader #bakugou x y/n #bakugou x self insert #bakugou hcs #bakugou headcannons #bakugou fluff #bnha fic #mha fic #mha headcannons #bnha headcannons

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halcyon-writings · 4 years ago

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Hi! Do u mind doing headcanons of akira/ren, ryuji and akechi from p5 with a rlly extroverted and clingy reader? Thank you 🥺💖💖💖

note(s): apologies for the late answer to these, i’m slowly but surely finishing off requests!!lowkey this request has me soft for these three as well so i’m just 🥺🥰

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all my links (masterlist, rules, etc.) can be found on my pinned post!!!

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slight warning for spoilers in these too!! the hcs are utc, bc long posts without one make me age prematurely

i’ve literally tried to fix ryuji’s and akechi’s banner things and idk why the quality is so different hjdhdhj but i have given up bye

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He may not look it, but he can be just as clingy. So he loves it. At every little thing, whether it’s you grabbing his hand or walking arm in arm at every place you both go, or just laying your head on his shoulder when you’re both just hanging out and chilling in his room.

I feel like Akira would have a much more physical kind of love language, just having you close by is a big reassurance to him and sometimes there are days where the rumors catch up to him and the way he’s still held at a distance affects him more than what he lets on. It helps him when he knows you aren’t going to think of him as a criminal or worse.

As soon as you show any sort of physical affection just know he’ll be quick to reciprocate. And if you get flustered? Then he’s gonna double down on it until you’re both just a pair of very flushed and very sappy goofballs. Sojiro has nearly kicked you both out of Leblanc but apparently the old ladies live for it so they come by a lot, so you can stay but you’re both on thin ice.

He really likes your extroverted personality! If we look at this game mechanic wise, he does one thing and just automatically goes to sleep (morgana leering menacingly in the bg-). So looking at this more like characteristics, maybe his social battery isn’t as full as yours. But he’s also there for you in case you need to step back and relax too.

If you want to see a very red faced Ryuji. then you’ve accomplished that mission very successfully by clinging onto him whenever you’re both hanging out. And for as much as he tries to hide it, the guy blushes all the way to the tips of his ears. You’ll know when you’ve got him all flushed and embarrassed.

He also likes your extroverted nature too, bc mans is also a pretty big extrovert. You both end up as that very excitable pair in high school. Very high energy and people are either jealous of the relationship or want to knock your heads together for being so loud and energetic, there is no in-between.

Ryuji’s another who acts lowkey about all the shit people say about him. But don’t be fooled, after what Kamoshida did, apart from breaking up the track team and also giving him a debilitating knee injury, and how his reputation plummeted as a result, he bottles up a lot and keeps the negatives to himself. He’ll wait until he’s alone so that way he doesn’t drag you down, he says. But you prove him wrong and he’s all the more grateful for it.

Ryuji definitely brags about you. You’re probably the man’s homescreen/lockscreen. Returning to the first point, the moment you grab onto his hand or his arm when you both are walking to and from places whether it be to school or just on a date, he tries to play it off all cool. No one is fooled because they can see the flush on the back of his neck to the tips of his ears.

Once again I’m gonna warn for spoilers in these, but especially for Goro.

I’m not going to lie, Akechi will either really like the clinginess or hate it depending on the different stages of your relationship. If it’s the beginning of the relationship, you might honestly have been a cover up for more of the less than savory activities under Shido’s command. However as time goes on he finds your personality and overrall demeanor to be very refreshing compared to the rest of the people he’s had to deal with.

Not to be like, lowkey angsty, but, I have feeling that just as he’s starting to let himself become closer to you, that lingering doubt that you’re going to either disappear or end up using him in some way rears its head. Maybe it will maybe it won’t but please let this guy know that you’re in it for the long run (however long it may be). That feeling won’t just disappear in a day, so somedays are rougher than others but the fact that you’ll still cling to him like you have previously is a small reassurance. (shido send me your location i just wanna talk-)

But n e ways after you get past that, if you when the two of you are somewhere private, he is probably just as clingy. Think Koala type of clingy, I just know Akechi is touch starved as hell. And dealing with the public image that he’s created for himself and being bombarded with all this attention from both fans and critics alike can be overwhelming at times. So it’s a bit like a relief when it can be just the two of you, away from prying eyes that want to know all about the new Detective Prince and his s/o.

He greatly admires the way you’re so extroverted. And maybe sometimes has you talk to people for him if the social battery he’s got is too drained, but only if you’re okay with it! That’s another thing that he’s come to respect is the boundaries. You may be extroverted and slightly clingy, but you don’t push him and instead go at his pace. But when the roles are reversed and you aren’t up for being the social butterfly, he’s more than happy to help you out too.

I think he needs a hug. A big hug.

#persona imagines #persona 5 imagines #persona 5 imagine #persona 5 x reader #akira kurusu x reader #akira kurusu imagines #ryuji sakamoto x reader #ryuji sakamoto imagines #goro akechi x reader #goro akechi imagines #mine

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luci-in-trenchcoats · 3 years ago

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Miss Americana (Part 3)

Summary: The reader recovers from her second dose of Compound V and explores her stronger abilities with Dean. But the events of a fun night out might give Miss Americana and Soldier Boy an unlikely ally...

Masterlist

Pairing: Soldier Boy!Dean x reader

Word Count: 1,900ish

Warnings: language, implied past torture/assault/killings

A/N: Enjoy this final part! This contains very minor spoilers for The Boys...

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“Let me hide this stuff and I’ll be back in five, okay?” he asked. You nodded, Dean cupping your cheek before he was gone. It was barely a minute before he was returning, wearing sweats and a henley, a box under his arm. “Brownies from the bakery down the block.”

“I thought you liked pie.”

“I do. But you like brownies,” he said. “Something to look forward to after you spend the night shaking and sweating.”

“Lovely,” you said. He sat down beside you, urging you to lean into him. He tucked a blanket over your legs, watching the fire crackle. “I don’t think I mind if you’re a monster.”

“I can be pretty horrible.”

“You’re not horrible to me. You’ve never been that way. Even if your first instinct was to try to manipulate me you decided not to.”

“I hate most people. Think they’re worthless. Only care about myself.”

“So? I told you when we met...I’m the nice bad guy. I frankly don’t give a fuck anymore about being the pushover, the one that gets hurt. I just want to never be afraid again.”

“We never have to be afraid after tonight. Never,” he said. “You’ll be stronger than Homelander. Stronger than me. You’ll be safe.”

“For a bad guy, you were awfully nice giving me that dose with no strings attached.”

“There’s no strings,” he said. He stroked your arm when you shivered.

“Partners?” you asked. He leaned down, kissing you more gently than he ever had. No need behind it.

“I like partners,” he said. He was warm as you started to feel cool, Dean drawing shapes on your bare skin. “I had a little brother.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“He got sick right after I shipped out. Died the morning I got my first dose of Compound V. Only reason I volunteered for the shot. They said volunteers got special benefits. I wanted my brother to get to a good hospital and proper care and he was already dead by the time I got my shot. Then uh, then some of us started dying cause they didn’t know dosages or shit. I thought at least Sam’s gonna be okay. Then I spent three days wishing it would kill me so I could be with him instead of having been away for the last year of his life. But I didn’t die. I was the only one. Then they gave me more and...I guess I enjoyed becoming the super soldier over grieving. Then it goes to your head and changes you and...Sammy wouldn’t even recognize me now. At least I know I’m not going to the same place he wound up so he won’t have to see.”

“What was that like, being honest just now,” you asked, goosebumps covering your skin. You bundled into him more, Dean pulling up the blanket.

“I miss Sammy. I haven’t thought about him in years. I hope the kid’s happy wherever he is.”

“Maybe you’ll see him again someday,” you said. You shook, sweat forming all over you, muscles aching. You turned, unable to get comfortable. “How long does this last?”

“About six hours. Then I passed out and when I woke up it was over.”

“Awesome.” You gripped the blanket tight, Dean massaging your tense shoulders. “Tell me more about Sammy. Please.”

“He absolutely hated being called Samuel,” said Dean with a chuckle. “So naturally I did it all the time when we were kids.”

“Keep going,” you said, stomach churning briefly. “Distract me.”

“Let me tell you about the time we jumped off the shed roof.”

You were in sweaty clothes when you woke, lifting your head off Dean’s chest to find him passed out and snoring lightly. You sat up, shaking out your head. Something was different. You stood, deciding to test out flying first. You yelped when you nearly hit the ceiling, freezing and plopping straight down onto the couch and Dean.

He groaned awake, peeling open his eyes to find you hovering above him.

“Sweetheart I’m all for a little rough in the bedroom but not a full body tackle awake,” he said. You moved to the side, the motion second nature quickly but it required much less effort than before. You looked around, nothing in the room heavy enough to test your strength. Dean sat up, smirking as he looked at you. “Wanna arm wrestle?”

“Yes!” you said, Dean chuckling, groggily taking a seat at the counter. You stood on the other side of the island, Dean clasping your hand.

“Let’s go,” he said. You squeezed, Dean keeping up with you for a good few seconds before he started to go down fast. You heard the counter creek and then it was breaking, Dean backing up.

“Uh,” you said.

“Don’t worry about it. What do you expect when you got supes in the place? But you, you’re stronger. Stronger than me,” he said. “How do you feel?”

“Good. Very good. I um, I’d like to go fly. I think I might be faster.”

“Go for it. I’ll call someone to get this fixed. Just be careful. Try not to fly into any planes.”

“I’ll do my best, Soldier Boy.”

“Again?” asked Dean that night. You flew up high and smiled, Dean letting go of you, free falling a few seconds before you dove down and caught him. He giggled and you flew higher, Dean jumping off. You could heard him laughing and went down, something hitting you on the way. You threw a punch and arms released you, Dean holding on tight when you finally caught up with him. You both looked up and glared, a cape and pair of red eyes looking down. “You do realize the fall won’t kill me.”

“Probably not. But it’d be fun to try,” said Homelander. He floated down to your level, your arm tight around Dean’s waist. “Oh relax. I won’t touch your boy toy again.”

“I thought I said to stay the fuck away from us,” you growled.

“I just thought you’d like to know that Soldier Boy’s internal file will be released to the major news outlets tomorrow. Did you know-”

You grabbed his neck with your free hand, squeezing hard, Homelander pawing at your wrist.

“Any good reasons why I shouldn’t kill him?” you asked Dean.

“None come to mind,” said Dean, Homelander’s eyes red but fading as he choked for air.

“Feel free to speak up,” you said, gripping his neck even tighter.

“Stop,” said a voice, the three of you turning towards a small drone hovering close by. “Let him go.”

“He tried to kill Soldier Boy,” you said, holding on tight. You didn’t even see the drone shoot out the darts, the three of you hit. You instantly dropped Homelander, flying down to the roof of Vought as soon as you could, Dean out cold already and you quickly joining him.

You woke up on the couch in Edgar’s office, no sign of Dean or Homelander. Everything felt off still as you sat up, Mr. Edgar suddenly sitting on the edge of the coffee table.

“Are you alright?”

“No,” you groaned, stretching out. “What the hell was that?”

“If you’re going to act like children, we’ll treat you like them.”

“Dean and I were having fun, minding our own business-”

“Dean and you stole Compound V for your own benefit. I thought you were going to be more understanding of this arrangement.”

“I have to be stronger than Homelander and now I am. We didn’t hurt anybody to get it. You people let him do whatever the fuck he wanted so get off your high horse.”

“We understand. But you can’t kill him.”

“Why the fuck not.”

“He brings value in, even not as part of the Seven. Miss Americana and Soldier Boy can take over the leadership roles and Homelander is to be left alone.”

“He wants to kill-”

“I said to leave it be.” You stood, glaring down at him. “If an incident like this occurs again, there will be consequences. Dismissed.”

“Gonna throw us back in a hole? That’s kinda your thing isn’t it.”

“We know how to deal with problem children, even supe ones,” he said, standing up. “Back off before all three of you are worth more dead than alive. Don’t make me dismiss you again.”

You stormed out, slamming the door after you, not bothering to look back when you heard the wood splinter. You went straight to Dean’s apartment, Dean unscathed inside. But Homelander standing there, neither of them actively trying to kill the other, that was more than enough to forget your anger for the moment.

“You okay?” asked Dean, stepping over to grab your hand. You hummed, looking Homelander up and down. “You got the same message we did I’m guessing.”

“Behave or we’re all fucked. Yeah. Why the hell is he here?”

“We were spoken to at the same time. While he’s still a psycho and has some major fucked up issues, he has a different idea,” said Dean.

“Said the mass murderer.” Homelander rolled his eyes. “We all want to be in charge of the Seven. Be the best.”

“You shoved your hand down my pants,” you growled.

“True. But enemies can work together when they have a larger, common enemy, hm?”

“Edgar,” said Dean. “He wants to wipe out Edgar. Ashley is the next logical choice and we can control her. She wouldn’t do jack shit to us.”

“Remove Edgar from the equation and we can all get along. Maybe form a little, trio, best of the best. Still part of the Seven but top dogs. Vought would eat that shit up. Behind the scenes you two fuck or whatever it is you do. Publicly, we’re the strongest go America team there ever was. The soldier from a simpler time, the soldier who fought the terrorists and defend her country, and the everyday man who protects his fellow citizens. All walks of life, all the basis covered. Between the three of us our numbers are sky high in every single demographic.”

“What’s to stop us from killing each other after Edgar is out of the picture,” you said.

“You’re strong enough to kill me. But your little boyfriend can’t fly. You come after me, I’ll drop him in the ocean. Leave me alone, I leave you two alone and we all win,” said Homelander. “Deal?”

“What do you think?” you asked Dean.

“Lesser of two evils. I think,” said Dean. “I say we give it a chance to see if we can get Edgar out.”

“Fine. We can discuss this more tomorrow. Oh and Homelander. I ever catch you in my or Dean’s apartment again, I’ll snap your neck. Deal or no deal.”

“If you were only a little more twisted we could have had something,” he said. He nodded and left, Dean letting out a deep breath when he was gone.

“Y/N,” said Dean. You hummed, wrapping your arms around him. “Thanks. For catching me earlier.”

“I’m sure you would have been fine.”

“Probably but I don’t want to test that theory out. If he dropped me in the ocean...I still need to breathe. We have to play nice.”

“We will. Until we don’t have to,” you said. He smirked, kissing your lips. “He tried to kill you. Now I hate him even more. As soon as we can, he’s gone.”

“That’s my girl,” he grinned.

“Yes I am and you, you’re my Soldier Boy. We’re going to own this place, very, very soon.”

“Damn straight we are sweetheart. Just a little bit longer and then we can do whatever we want to. Promise.”

_________

#supernatural #spn #dean x reader #dean winchester #supernatural fanfiction #dean winchester x reader #dean #winchester #dean spn #soldier boy!dean x reader #au

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kaseysgtnonsense · 3 years ago

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So. I mentioned having an idea for a g/t video game in this post and people seemed interested, so here it is!

It takes place in a setting where giants live in deep, underground cave systems, and their numbers are dwindling. The home you live in is running low on supplies, and in the end they decide that to lower the amount of resources consumed and improve their chances of survival, they’re going to kick someone out.

Unfortunately, that someone is you. You are cast out of the caves and into the surface world, on a continent ruled by several human countries on the brink of war. In their eyes, you are a monster, and you are severely limited. You need to hunt to survive, avoid injuries or else risk infection, and avoid areas where giant-slayers might see you as a threat and try to sneak-attack you while you’re resting.

Every faction is wary of you, and unless you’re particularly good at convincing others you don’t mean any harm, you won’t be able to ask for help early on. Doing things like rescuing random travelers, ending conflicts non-violently (like picking up someone who’s being chased by bandits and then bringing them to safety and setting them down), and leaving gifts all will help you start to establish yourself as a helpful person and not a monster.

Rescuing someone and making it clear you don’t mean any harm could lead to them wanting to travel with you, meaning they’d be able to talk to other humans and convince them to trade with you, cooperate with you, etc.! Plus, you’d get dialogue with them from time to time, letting you say how you feel about having been kicked out, which faction you want to support, how you feel about other giants, how you feel about being a giant in a world like this, etc. (basically it’s where the majority of the g/t interaction happens)

I figured I’d put all the more boring + ramble-y gameplay ideas under a cut, just so I’m not tossing a massive wall of text on people’s dashboards:

Additionally, acting recklessly would have some rough consequences. Like, say you decide to go to the evil empire, pledge allegiance to them in exchange for armor, then betray them and escape.

At first, you might feel heroic and proud, and it’s definitely good that you stole from the bad guys, but most people are just going to end up wary of you. Word would get around fast that the mysterious giant showed up, blatantly lied to the evil empire, and then betrayed them. Even people who vehemently hate the evil empire are going to be worried you’re lying to them when you show up.

For visuals I kinda pictured it being like those old RPGs where your character looks big on the overworld map, but then that’s actually just how tall you are. I imagined the player character being like, 50-70 feet tall? (15-21 meters)

Combat would be kind of similar to a roguelike: based around avoiding long-lasting injuries, buying (or stealing) medicine and bandages to prevent infections, avoiding hidden archers who’ll aim for your eyes, dealing with enemies who set traps (like sharpened stakes used as big caltrops, leading to you being slowed and having a risk of infection), and dealing with enemies who lob fireballs and other spells at you, damaging your armor and yourself. I can’t imagine a way to make it especially fun and action-y, so I’m just imagining it like Cataclysm:DDA, where it’s kinda turn-based but you’re able to position yourself around the enemy and run away, and different weapons give you access to different attacks. Like, a tree might give you a sweeping attack to hit multiple spaces at once.

I’d wanna add a talk option for combat kinda like in Shin Megami Tensei or Undertale, so you could try to end fights without anyone getting hurt by being like “wait, wait, I don’t mean any harm!!” or “if you don’t back off, I’m going to devour you all alive.” depending on the type of character you wanna roleplay. Maybe the clothes you make/buy and wear could factor into whether diplomacy or intimidation is more effective: a dorky cat-like hat is gonna make you look a lot less threatening, but a helmet that covers your face is gonna make you look way more menacing.

The game would end once you’ve finished a faction’s questline. The ending narration would be affected by what faction you’re allied with, whether or not you have access to food and medicine, and what you picked in dialogue regarding how you feel about the giants who kicked you out. (Aaaand I haven’t written up any factions yet. Whoops.)

In the ending, you might decide you prefer the company of humans rather than giants and live peacefully with them, or maybe you’ll go back home to get revenge, or maybe you’ll return home with an armful of food and supplies and hope to create a new era of peace between humans and giants with the support of your chosen faction. Maybe you just decided you preferred being the mysterious giant who lives in the mountains.

I’d wanna work on fleshing out the RPG mechanics in a way that lets you RP a character, kinda like how New Vegas does: letting you pick special dialogue if certain stats and skills are high or low enough. Maybe you wanna put more points into strength and endurance and play a super tough scary figure, or maybe you wanna put more points into charisma and perception and be a friendly and caring person. Maybe you know how to farm or hunt or cook, maybe you know how to build or invent...

And sorry for making this so long, but I’d wanna add flaws you can pick, too. Maybe you need glasses but giants don’t have them, so your character starts with terrible perception (meaning they won’t notice traps or hidden enemies) until the human faction they join helps make glasses for them. It’s cute to think of things leading to friendly interactions like that...

I’d wanna add multiple solutions to any one problem, too. Like, early on you could just talk to the guards outside a major faction’s location and if you made a character with enough points in persuasion, you could convince them to let you trade with them or join them. But if you aren’t persuasive enough, you could ask someone you rescued to vouch for you.

It’s WAY too ambitious for me to make and I’m already busy so I’ve got no intention of making it anytime soon, but someday in the future it would be fun to use this idea for something...

#g/t #giant/tiny #gianttiny #g/t community #giant/tiny community #gianttiny community #tw eye injury #tw burns #tw eye damage

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whencartoonsruletheworld · 4 years ago

Link

Disney Songs That Hit Different™ When You’re Autistic, a full Spotify Playlist

Open to updates should anyone notice a song I missed!

Tracklist and specific lyrics that fuck me up under the cut:

The World Above - The Little Mermaid Broadway Production

“It’s like my life was wrong And somehow, now, at last I’m in My own skin Up here in the world above!”

“The sun’s so bright here Upon my face! It feels so right here Warm as love... Life seems to be Almost calling to me...” - stimmy

Belle - Beauty and the Beast

“The bookshop. I just finished the most wonderful story. About a beanstalk and an ogre and a—” - y’all ever been interrupted on an infodump and then realize nobody cared? yeah that feeling

“Look there she goes, that girl is strange, no question Dazed and distracted, can't you tell? Never part of any crowd Cause her head's up on some cloud No denying she’s a funny girl, that Belle...”

“[That one? But you've read it twice!] It's my favorite. Far-off places, daring swordfights, magic spells, a prince in disguise...” - SPECIAL INTEREST

“Look there she goes, that girl is so peculiar I wonder if she's feeling well With a dreamy, far-off look And her nose stuck in a book What a puzzle to the rest of us is Belle...”

“Oh, isn't this amazing? It's my favorite part because you'll see Here's where she meets Prince Charming But she won't discover that it's him till chapter three...” - IF NOBODY LISTENS TO MY INFODUMP I SHALL INFODUMP TO SHEEP

“But behind that fair façade I'm afraid she's rather odd Very diff'rent from the rest of us She's nothing like the rest of us...”

More - deleted song from Moana

honestly the entire song is a bit “want to break off and learn about special interest / be in my own world / be myself” mood

“The other kids just dance and play How can you play? There's so much out there to explore...”

“She stares at the sky, she stumbles down the beaches She mumbles all the names that her Gramma Tala teaches With one foot here and another in a distant past She’s growing up too fast...”

Part of Your World - The Little Mermaid

not only a BIG SPECIAL INTEREST MOOD... big “i don’t belong here” mood...

“Look at this trove, treasures untold How many wonders can one cavern hold? Looking around here, you'd think Sure, she's got everything” “I've got gadgets and gizmos a-plenty I've got whooz-its and whats-its galore You want thing-a-mabobs? I've got twenty But who cares? No big deal. I want more!”

“Betcha on land, they understand Bet they don't reprimand their daughters Bright young women, sick of swimmin', Ready to stand...”

“When's it my turn? Wouldn't I love, Love to explore that shore up above?”

More Than Just the Spare - deleted song from Frozen

“I'm not part of the town, not born to be queen Just somebody hopelessly in-between She's the scholar, athlete, poet I'm the screw up, don't I know it...”

“I may lack style and I may lack grace And once in a while I fall on my face But this little button deserves a place in the sky This button wants to fly- Wait, buttons can't fly, it doesn't make any sense!”

“And maybe I can't be the perfect one And maybe I err on the side of fun...”

“Someday I'll find my thing, a thing that's all my own That thing that makes me part of something, not just all alone If only all this feeling I have in my heart, could mean something to someone, how I'd love to play that part!”

“Like a button, like a horseshoe Like a girl who's bad at metaphors!”

Proud of Your Boy - Aladdin Broadway Production

“So say I'm slow for my age A late bloomer, Okay, I agree...”

“But I'll get over these lousin' up Messin' up, screwin' up times You'll see, Ma, now comes the better part Someone's gonna make good, cross his stupid heart Make good and finally make you proud of your boy...”

“Say I'm a goldbrick, a good-off, no good But that couldn't be all that I am...”

“Though I can't make myself taller Or smarter or handsome or wise I'll do my best, what else can I do? Since I wasn't born perfect like Dad or you Mom, I will try to try hard to make you Proud of your boy...”

Let Me Make You Proud - Tangled: The Series

“Maybe I make things a mess And maybe you're right to have doubts in me Maybe, but nevertheless If you for once could just trust me...”

“And when I return And I'm more than you dreamt I'd be Maybe then you will realize That you never actually knew me at all...”

“Cause I long for that look of surprise When you see your son rising at last...”

Almost There - The Princess and the Frog

“Ain't got time for messin' around And it's not my style...”

“But I know exactly where I'm going Getting closer and closer every day...”

“People down here think I'm crazy But I don't care Trials and tribulations, I've had my share...”

Home - deleted song from Frozen 2

BIG routine song

“Wandering through the town with everyone doing all of their stuff Somewhere in my heart I feel I've not yet done enough For these people I know, this place that I love so...”

“I know how fragile things can be. If I lost them, I'd lose me They're my ocean, they're my shore. I wanna give them more...”

In a World of My Own / Very Good Advice - mashup cover of Alice in Wonderland

“They would sit and talk to me for hours When I'm lonely in a world of my own...”

“I could listen to a babbling brook And hear a song that I could understand I keep wishing it could be that way Because my world would be a wonderland...”

“I give myself very good advice But I very seldom follow it That explains the trouble that I'm always in...”

“Be patient is very good advice But the waiting makes me curious And I'd love the change Should something strange begin...”

“Will I ever learn to do the things I should?”

Reflection - Mulan

“Now I see that if I were truly to be myself I would break my family's heart...”

“Somehow I cannot hide Who I am, though I've tried...”

“How I pray that a time will come I can free myself from their expectations On that day, I'll discover someway to be myself And to make my family proud...”

“They want a docile lamb, no-one knows who I am Must there be a secret me I'm forced to hide? Must I pretend that I'm someone else for all time?”

If I Wasn’t So Small - Piglet’s Big Movie

“It's not as if I want to rule the world Or even the forest, or even one tree I suppose I could be happy, if I could be helpful With just a little bit of noticing me...”

“I'd be needed and useful More each passing day...”

Jack’s Lament - The Nightmare Before Christmas

“Oh somewhere deep inside of these bones An emptiness began to grow There's something out there far from my home A longing that I've never known...”

Everything I Ever Thought I Knew - Tangled: The Series

“I thought no one could love me And how could I have known? I was wrong, oh so wrong...” “Then I thought I found it, a dream that I could share I thought I was so lucky, it almost wasn't fair I thought I knew my purpose, I thought that I knew where I belong But I was wrong...”

“Now that it's all crumbling, help me understand If none of it was really me then who am I supposed to be?”

“I guess my life meant nothing I guess it was a sham I guess I'm someone else now I wonder who I am...”

I’ll Try - Return to Neverland

“I am not a child now I can take care of myself I mustn't let them down now Mustn't let them see me cry...”

“My whole world is changing I don't know where to turn I can't leave you waiting But I can't stay and watch the city burn...”

Waiting in the Wings (Reprise) - Tangled: The Series

“I craved so much, and yet I kept on waiting One glance, one touch, and I just kept on waiting...”

Waiting in the Wings - Tangled: The Series

“Guess we all are born with parts to play Some of us are stars, and some are just in the way I know I was meant for glory But that's never what my story brings And yet I keep on waiting...”

“When you have the passion and the drive You expect your moment centre stage to arrive I show up with heart ablazing Ready to achieve amazing things But I'm left waiting in the wings...”

“It's always someone else who sings While I'm left waiting in the wings...”

“Always overlooked unfairly, while pretending that it barely stings But it stings, yes, it stings...”

I’m Still Here (Jim Theme) - Treasure Planet

“I am a question to the world, not an answer to be heard Or a moment that's held in your arms...”

“And how can you learn what's never shown Yeah, you stand here on your own They don't know me, cause I'm not here...”

“And I want to tell you who I am Can you help me be a man? They can't break me As long as I know who I am...”

“They can't tell me who to be Cause I'm not what they see Yeah, the world is still sleeping While I keep on dreaming for me And their words are just whispers and lies That I'll never believe...”

“And I want a moment to be real Want to touch things I don't feel Wanna hold on, and feel I belong And how can you say I'll never change They're the ones that stay the same I'm the one now Cause I'm still here!”

God Help the Outcasts - The Hunchback of Notre Dame

“Yes, I know I'm just an outcast I shouldn't speak to You Still, I see Your face and wonder Were You once an outcast, too?”

“God help the outcasts, hungry from birth Show them the mercy they don't find on earth God help my people - we look to You, still God help the outcasts or nobody will...”

“Please help my people, the poor and downtrod I thought we all were the children of God?”

So Close - Enchanted

honestly the entirety of enchanted is an autism mood but,

“So close to reaching That famous happy end Almost believing This one's not pretend...”

Into the Unknown - cover of Frozen 2

“There's a thousand reasons I should go about my day And ignore your whisper which I wish would go away...”

“I’ve had my adventure, I don’t need something new...”

“Or are you someone out there who's a little bit like me? Who knows deep down I'm not where I am really meant to be?“

“Are you out there? [Do you know me?] Can you feel me? Can you show me?”

Someone’s Waiting For You - The Rescuers

“Don't cry, little one There'll be a smile where a frown use to be You'll be part of the love that you see...”

Sally’s Song - The Nightmare Before Christmas

“I sense there's something in the wind That feels like tragedy's at hand And though I'd like to stand by him Can't shake this feeling that I have...”

“Although I'd like to join the crowd In their enthusiastic cloud Try as I may, it doesn't last...”

Someday - The Hunchback of Notre Dame Off-Broadway Production

“Someday, when we are wiser When the world's older, when we have learned I pray someday we may yet live To live and let live...”

“Someday, these dreams will all be real Til then we'll wish upon the moon Change will come, one day Someday soon...”

Where Do I Go From Here - Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World

“They do what they must for now And trust in their plan If I trust in mine, somehow I might find who I am...”

“The path ahead's so hard to see It winds and bends but where it ends Depends on only me In my heart I don't feel part of so much I've known Now it seems it's time to start A new life on my own...”

Wherever You Are - Pooh’s Grand Adventure: The Search for Christopher Robin

“I'm out here in the dark, all alone and wide awake Come and find me I'm empty and I'm cold, and my heart's about to break Come and find me...”

“I need you to come here and find me Cause without you, I'm totally lost I've hung a wish on every star It hasn't done much good so far...”

“I used to believe in forever, But forever’s too good to be true...”

Belle (Reprise) - Beauty and the Beast

“And for once it might be grand To have someone understand I want so much more than they've got planned...”

Endless Night - The Lion King Broadway Production

“Home is an empty dream Lost to the night Father, I feel so alone...”

“I know that the night must end I know that the sun will rise...”

Set Yourself Free - Tangled: The Series

“Locked inside a tower, kept behind a wall Sheltered from a world you’ve barely known That’s the way they treat you...”

“There's much more inside of you than anyone can see And now the choice is yours, life waits beyond the doors So step on through, the time has come And only you can set yourself free!”

“So use the gifts you're given Make the world your own Look inside your heart and find the key...”

“Bound up by your worries Trapped by your mistakes Forced to play a role you never chose...”

“No more letting someone else define you to a T You know that you are strong You've known it all along...”

Let it Go - Frozen Broadway Production

“The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I've tried Don't let them in, don't let them see Be the good girl you always have to be Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know Well, now they know!”

“I don't care what they're going to say Let the storm rage on The cold never bothered me anyway...”

“It’s time to see what I can do To test the limits and break through No right, no wrong, no rules for me I’m free!”

“Let it go, let it go And I’ll rise like the break of dawn! Let it go, let it go That perfect girl is gone!”

How Far I’ll Go (Reprise) - Moana

“All that time wondering where I need to be is behind me I'm on my own to worlds unknown...”

Colors of the Wind - Pocahontas

“You think the only people who are people Are the people who look and think like you But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger You'll learn things you never knew, you never knew...”

Strangers Like Me - Tarzan

when u meet another autistic person....

“Whatever you do, I'll do it, too Show me everything and tell me how It all means something And yet nothing to me...”

“I can see there's so much to learn It's all so close and yet so far I see myself as people see me Oh, I just know there's something bigger out there...”

Beyond My Wildest Dreams - The Little Mermaid Broadway Production

“Look over there! Oh my god! How very odd! And what might they be? Something splendid, maybe! Look over here! Could you bust? Isn't it just bedazzling, dazing, utterly amazing! Gazing 'round, it's like, to die! Just seeing it feels so good, I'd scream if I only could!”

“Just keeps on gawking- Weird how she's not talking!”

“I'd hoped and wished My life would feel enchanted! Wished and prayed The fates would hear my plea...”

Watch What Happens - Newsies Broadway Production

“’Write what you know’ So they say, all I know is I don't know what to write Or the right way to write it...”

“It could practically write itself And let's pray it does, cause as I may have mentioned I have no clue what I'm doing!”

“Speak up, take a stand, and there's someone to write about it That's how things get better...”

[also. the squeal.]

“Like someone said, "Power tends to corrupt" And absolute power, wait, wait, corrupts? Absolutely, that is genius! But give me some time, I'll be twice as good as that six months from never...”

“Just look around at the world we're inheriting And think of the one we'll create...”

“Give those kids and me the brand new century and watch what happens It's David and Goliath, do or die The fight is on and I can't watch what happens But all I know is nothing happens if you just give in It can't be any worse than how it's been And it just so happens that we just might win So whatever happens, let's begin!”

Son of Man - Tarzan

“Oh, the power to be strong and the wisdom to be wise All these things will come to you in time On this journey that you're making, there'll be answers that you'll seek And it's you who'll climb the mountain It's you who'll reach the peak...”

“Though there's no one there to guide you, no one to take your hand But with faith and understanding You will journey from boy to man...”

“In learning you will teach and in teaching you will learn You'll find your place beside the ones you love Oh, and all the things you dreamed of, the visions that you saw Well, the time is drawing near now It's yours to claim it all!”

Strange Sight - Tinkerbell and the Legend of the Neverbeast

“You stand in the light You're wrong, but you're right And my heart's beating wildly Strange how I'm scared but delighted Afraid, but excited too!”

“Do you long to be left all alone? Set apart with a heart made of stone? Let me help, let's begin Let me learn, won't you let me in? All the light, let it show...”

“You are a strange sight, some new kind of wonder With good hidden under, I'm sure that it's true Strange how your dark doesn't faze me...”

Wind in My Hair - Tangled: The Series

“What if the doors began to open? What if the knots became untied? What if one day, nothing stood in my way And the world was mine?”

“Plenty of mysteries to unravel Tons of mistakes to not regret So much to see, and to do and to be A whole life to spend And it doesn't end...”

For a Moment - The Little Mermaid II: Return to the Sea

“This way is left, but which way is right? Well, now I'll be circling in circles all night...” - direction problems amirite

“This is more than my thoughts ever thought it could be For a moment, just a moment, lucky me...”

“For a moment, I can feel, All the dreams I've been dreaming are real, Wish my mother could hear it, the sea is my song For a moment, just a moment I belong...”

Speechless - Aladdin 2019 Remake

i would like to send this song to autism $peaks (hate group) underlined in red and with a photo attached of me with a middle finger up

“Here comes a wave meant to wash me away A tide that is taking me under Swallowing sand, left with nothing to say. My voice drowned out in the thunder...”

“Written in stone, every rule, every word Centuries old and unbending ‘Stay in your place, better seen and not heard.’ Well, now that story is ending!”

“Let the storm in! I cannot be broken! No, I won't live unspoken! Cause I know that I won't go speechless!”

“Try to lock me in this cage! I won't just lay me down and die! I will take these broken wings And watch me burn across the sky!”

“I won't be silenced! Though you wanna see me tremble when you try it, All I know is I won't go speechless, speechless! Cause I'll breathe when they try to suffocate me! Don't you underestimate me! Cause I know that I won't go speechless!”

Show Yourself - Frozen 2

the siren call... stimmy

“Something is familiar, like a dream I can reach but not quite hold I can sense you there, like a friend I've always known I'm arriving, it feels like I am home...”

“I have always been a fortress Cold secrets deep inside...”

“Are you the one I've been looking for all of my life? Show yourself! I'm ready to learn...”

“I've never felt so certain! All my life, I've been torn But I'm here for a reason- could it be the reason I was born? I have always been so different, normal rules did not apply Is this the day? Are you the way I finally find out why?”

“I am found!”

“You are the one you've been waiting for All of your life...”

Here I Am - Camp Rock

“They tell you a good girl is quiet and that you should never ask why Cause it only makes it harder to fit in And you should be happy, excited, even if you're just invited Cause the winners need someone to clap for them...”

“It's so hard just waiting in a line that never moves It's time you started making your own rules...”

“If how you’re living isn't working there's one thing that'll help You got to finally just stop searching and find yourself...”

“The world better make some room Yea move over, over Cause you’re coming through!”

“You gotta scream until there's nothing left With your last breath Say here I am! Here I am! Make em listen Cause there is no way you'll be ignored Not anymore...”

Us Against the Universe - Phineas and Ferb: The Movie - Candace Against the Universe

“I used to feel alone, just me against the raging tide, But I guess I should've known that you were always on my side. Now I don't have to be an island, cause you've been there all the while, and Now I realize my fears weren't justified!”

“Cause as long as we're together, We can stand and face whatever Kind of trouble this world tries to put us in. If you're out there on your own, You just might take it on the chin Cause if it's us against the universe, we win!”

#disney #autism #autistic #actually autistic #disney songs #mine

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omniswords · 4 years ago

Text

Chronicles of a Parisian Dumbass 17

Happy Chronicles day, everyone! I’m so happy I got to put some more work in this weekend, and I can’t believe I’m in the home stretch of actually writing everything out, gosh…

anyway, I hope you enjoy this update!

from: itsdjbubbles

bro??? what HAPPENED?

to: itsdjbubbles

it’s… a long story.

The problem isn’t that Mr. Dupain drives Luka back to the Liberty . Actually, that’s the cool part. Or, as close as he can get to “cool,” given the circumstances. He’s never been in a delivery van before—he’s only ever delivered by bicycle—and it’s nice to see Paris as a soundproof blur, especially to the rhythm Mr. Dupain taps out on the steering wheel. He spends most of the ride with a sandwich bag of ice on his knee, studying the postcard Marinette handed him just before she hopped in the back seat. Because she insisted.

(The postcard complements the flyer perfectly. She really does know what she’s doing. He shouldn't be surprised.)

Marinette doesn’t tell him exactly who is going to kill her, but she doesn’t have to. It’s, uncomfortably, all over her face as soon as they pull up to the bank of the Seine, where Juleka is waiting for him. As Marinette climbs to take his place in the front seat, she gives him a tight smile. The kind that tries with all its might to be kind. The kind that tries with all its might to cover something up.

Luka’s eyes narrow. “Are you… okay?”

The smile never leaves her face; in fact, it seems like it’s trying even harder to stay. Her gaze drifts just past him, then flickers down to where he’s shifted all his weight to his good leg. “I think I should be the one asking you that.”

“Marinette…”

She gives him a little wave goodbye before pulling the door shut, and Luka swears he can see traces of some sudden fatigue through the tinted glass of the passenger window.

Juleka’s expression is just as muted when he hobbles over to her. “Come on, dumbass,” she says, slinging his arm over her shoulder. “You can tell me all about it inside.”

That’s the nice thing about Juleka, at least: she puts the people she loves first, always. Sometimes even in spite of herself. It seems like she and Marinette are similar that way.

“So,” he says, even as she all but dumps him on the couch. “How long am I gonna be in the middle of, uh.” He gestures vaguely with the hand that hurts less. “Whatever’s going on here?”

“I dunno,” Juleka shoots back with a shrug, already looking for an ice pack. “How long am I gonna be in the middle?”

Well. She kind of has a point. “Sorry.”

“No, I…” She sighs, “I’m sorry. It’s just… weird. I can’t even ask if you get it because, duh, of course you don’t.”

Luka studies his nails. “They’re looking kinda chipped, y’know?”

“Sounds like you just want me to wait on you hand and foot.” Juleka sinks onto the couch, carefully resting the ice pack on his knee. For a while, she doesn’t say anything else, simply focuses on where his leg is propped up and occasionally on his nails. Once, her gaze darts over to the postcard still in his hand, and then it flicks away almost immediately, as if maybe it shouldn't have lingered there. Before long, she sits back, still not looking at him, and says, “Why are you doing this, Luka?”

It’s vague enough that Luka doesn’t feel entirely stupid for asking, “Doing what?”

To her credit, she doesn’t give him the look that says the Lord is testing her. But then, neither of them really totally believes in a Lord, anyway. “All this… Marinette stuff.”

It’s the first time he’s heard Juleka say her name. It doesn’t sound as bitter or scared as he thought. Just… hesitant. For all he doesn’t know, it still checks out. “I thought you were cool with it?”

“I mean, I am,” she says, but it doesn’t feel as relieving as it should. “I don’t wanna get in the way of… whatever’s going on. It's your thing, so it's your business.”

“I don’t think you’re in the way,” He pauses. “But… I wasn’t totally joking about the whole ‘caught in the middle’ thing. I don’t want—I don’t wanna try anymore if you’re just gonna get more uncomfortable with it because of…” A shrug. “Whatever’s going on. Or went on.”

“No offense,” Juleka quips back, “but it doesn’t seem like that mattered much when you started talking to that Bubbles guy.”

“You’re upset about the gig.”

“I’m not upset about the gig, I just—” This close, Luka can see nearly every muscle in her body go tight; she must feel vulnerable, because she bolts to her feet and makes for the fridge to start on dinner. “You kind of cornered me with this shit,” she says, once she’s got some distance on him. “It felt like, yeah, I could say no, but I’d be an awful person if I did. An awful… sister.” She pauses only to tie her hair up and out of her eyes; it’s nice, how mature she looks when she wears it that way. Or maybe it’s just her words getting to him. “That’s why it bothered me so much when you kept insisting you weren’t doing it to impress her. And maybe you don’t think you are, but… all the stuff you’re doing isn’t exactly convincing me otherwise.”

She’s staring at the postcard now, allowing herself to, as if it might prove her point, and... well, Luka can’t entirely refute it. “D’you wanna cancel it? “he asks. “Call a meeting?”

Juleka shakes her head, wrinkling her nose when the end of her ponytail tickles her face. “We’re already in this. Might as well keep going.”

“I mean... “ He gestures toward his leg. “We have an out.”

“Unless you’re planning on doing some sick-nasty knee-guitar playing like Jimi Hendrix or something, I think you’ll be fine.”

“I don’t think Jimi Hendrix ever played with his knee,” Luka scoffs, wincing when a few pots clang together as Julie’s trying to wrestle are out. He wishes he could help; it’d actually beat picking the rest of the polish off his nails and feeling out the way his knee won’t stop throbbing. “Would… you still feel like this if it were somebody else?”

Juleka pauses; Luka was sort of hoping it would tell him more than it actually does. “I mean… yeah, I guess? Maybe just… not as much.”

“Will you ever tell me what happened? Between you two?” He probably shouldn’t ask. He definitely shouldn’t ask. But somehow, he doesn’t really regret it. And he doesn’t regret it, either, when he adds, “Do you… hate her? Secretly? Or something?”

The stove clicks to life, and Juleka shakes her head even as she’s rummaging through the cupboards. “Nah,” she says, hollow though she sounds. “I don’t hate her. But I guess I wouldn’t be surprised if it were the other way around. I’d probably deserve it.”

Luka doesn’t know what stings more: that Marinette could ever be capable of hating anyone, or that anyone could ever be capable of hating his baby sister. Or that she could ever think that she deserved it.

Then Marinette’s words ring in his ear again—why would you ever think that you deserve any pain?— and his thoughts die away. He’s got no leg to stand on, literally or figuratively. Or maybe it’s that if he can think that Juleka’s good and deserving, then he can think the same of himself, someday. Or someone else can think the same of him. someday.

But “someday” and “maybe” feel like nothing more than a spark that’s gone as quickly as it arrived, and Luka can’t be bothered to stick around and find out when—if—it’ll ever burst into flames.

“Look,” Juleka says over the cooking. “I’ll cut you a deal. You stop throwing yourself, and Kitty Section, into all these new ideas just so you can impress or get close to Marinette... and I’ll figure out how to tell you what happened. All right?”

She doesn’t have to do this; she’s made her point already, no matter how much his own curiosity is getting to him. But he knows how she gets when she’s set on something, because it’s practically in their blood. He holds his tongue and nods dumbly, trying to work his knee through the scrape and the swelling. It still throbs and stings in protest, though not as badly as before. He’ll try not to push it—by which he means he’ll be up and at it again tomorrow, just… hobbling instead of sprinting.

“What’re you gonna tell Ma?” Juleka asks.

“Easy.” He smiles, half-satisfied, and slumps back. “I fell for someone.”

“I cannot stand you.”

“Then sit,” Luka says, and he makes a grab for his phone.

to: itsdjbubbles just got plenty of time to practice before the 29th, huh?

from: itsdjbubbles man, you’re ridiculous

to: itsdjbubbles i’m surprised you didn’t figure that out sooner.

#miraculous ladybug #lukanette #luka couffaine #marinette dupain cheng #juleka couffaine #fic: chronicles of a parisian dumbass #AWWWWW YEAHHHHHH SIBLING SHIT

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kyber-crystal · 4 years ago

Text

Unspoken Words

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Words: 4.2k (I POPPED OFF LOLLLLL)

Summary: In which the night before being deployed on a covert black-ops mission overseas with Natasha, you write Steve a secret love letter that you never intended to give him. But, it still ends up falling into his hands.

Warnings: fluff, soft angst, cute steve hehe

A/N: once again, shamelessly stole this idea from the kdrama im watching adsfasdf

To Steve.

You always told me it was time I found someone who cared for me just as much as I cared about others. For the longest time, I had myself believing I was set for life since I already had the team. That I didn’t need to find a man to sweep me off my feet and take his last name, to have as my own, as every time I seemed to let my feelings wander astray, it’d end in tragedy.

After waiting for too long to say this, I guess I'm gonna come clean now, so brace yourself. I felt as if this would be easier for me if I was saying it on paper rather than in person, so here you go.

I realized I'm in love with you. You never leave my mind. You're always there, mentally, if not physically. It's hard for you to comprehend all at once, I know, it's hard for me to wrap my mind around, too. It still feels unreal that I'm actually admitting all this to you. I could've sworn I'd only acted this way in my dreams, but hey, reality can sometimes come up behind you and slap you in the face, you know?

In the middle of the storm, a war that rages on in my mind, you’re my safe haven. You’re the gentle center who keeps me steady and prevents me from teetering over the edge and losing my grip on reality. You keep me centered, and I don’t know what I’d do without you by my side. Steven Grant Rogers, I’m in love with you. I know, it doesn’t seem real. As crazy as it sounds, I’m hopelessly in love with you.

Steve, you are my one stability in a chaos-ridden world and I thank you endlessly for that. I so desperately needed something to hold onto, something to convince me I was still alive and breathing and somewhat sane. It's hard for me, it's hard that only today I've accepted the feelings I'd been harboring inside for years. But I've decided to admit defeat and admit I've officially fallen in love with you. Because what I'm beginning to feel now is far too strong for me to ignore; it's impossible to keep up this act when you're all I can seem to think about.

It's all strange, honestly. The feeling of butterflies flying around my stomach and tickling my insides makes me feel as if I'm up in the sky, my head in the clouds, but it also overwhelms me and makes me scared at the same time. The fact that I'm in so deeply in love scares me because I know when I'm really in love with someone, it's hard to escape once I've completed the act of falling for them.

Weird, right? Who knew the great Y/N was so capable of being a romantic sap?

It feels dangerous yet completely safe at the same time, as if someone's given me peace and my heart is dancing around in my chest because it's so happy, at the same time there is a Captain America-shaped hole there in the center that I was never aware was there in the beginning. My chest aches at the thought of having to leave you or you not reciprocating my feelings, but I know I might just suffer that fate, since the world as I know it, isn't kind whatsoever. I should know this better than anyone, after fighting countless battles.

It scares me more than excites me, how you can go from being really close friends to then being completely infatuated and in love with them and wondering how you were ever able to go on with your daily life without them, because I sure as hell can't imagine that now. In the beginning, I told myself it's not right, I still had so much of my life ahead of me, so much time to plan out what I'm going to end up like in the future but my brain is screaming no, no, it is right, it's meant to be.

The team tries convincing me to do something about it but I'm terrified. Terrified that I'll have to bring down the thick and heavy walls I spent so much time building up in the fears of being hurt and damaged and my heart shattered to a million jagged pieces.

I know most people would consider me to be foolish and naïve for spilling my feelings through a sappy love letter, but it's true when I say I love you so much more than I could ever love myself. You're my best friend, and as cheesy as it sounds, you are my everything. My anchor.

I fell for you all on my own. Not because I was pressured to or anything, but because I made the decision myself. I don't just give my heart to you by default as if there's no one else available for me to open up to. It's because I choose to. Every day that I wake up, every day we're fighting for our lives or fighting each other or going about a normal day or whatever, I'll keep choosing you over and over again, and I hope someday you'll do the same.

I love you more than you know. And if you don't feel the same way, then it's perfectly fine. I understand, and I'll wait for you as long as it takes, no matter what.

Whatever it takes.

Y/N

You let out a long sigh and set down your pen, folding the paper up into fourths and tucking it under your lamp before pushing yourself away from your desk and standing up, stretching your arms in the air. What even was the point of doing that, anyways? It’s not like Steve’s just going to come in here and read the letter.

The downside of living with the Avengers was that word got around very quickly, especially about your love life. There was no hiding anything from anyone, as they’d find out one way or another. If Tony didn’t find out first, it was Natasha, Sam, or Bucky who did.

“Hey, Nat,” you spoke without turning your head to look at who was behind you, knowing your red-headed best friend was leaning against the doorframe, observing you carefully.

“Y/N,” Natasha nodded and made her way inside, sitting at the edge of your bed and you took a seat next to her, as she rested her head on your shoulder. “You alright? I can tell something’s on your mind.”

You shook your head. “I’m fine.”

“Something tells me you’re not.”

“Did Wanda read my mind for you?” you raised an eyebrow in suspicion.

“No, she didn’t,” she replied honestly, “she’s busy baking cookies with Vis and Peter right now. You think you wanna tell me what’s up? As your best friend, I’m obligated to know what’s going on.”

You closed your eyes and let out a long sigh. "You know what it is."

"You mean who?"

"Why am I letting this happen to myself?"

"You can't control who you fall for,," she explained. "Your heart sometimes just has a mind of its' own."

“He’s Captain America,” you deadpanned.

“And you’re the badass Y/N!”

“I shouldn’t even have feelings in the first place. And I shouldn't have written that love letter that I won't even give him anyways, or...you know."

"You wrote him a letter?"

You got up and tugged the letter from underneath your lamp and gave it to her, watching as her eyes scanned over the paper with your tidy, typewriter-like handwriting filling the sheet from top to bottom.

"So..."

Natasha handed the paper back to you. "Why can't you just tell him?"

"Because he doesn’t like me back."

"You should tell him at some point. Keeping this all to yourself isn't healthy."

"You sound like Tony."

She chuckled lightly. "What?It's the truth."

"Fine," you threw your hands up in the air in defeat, "I’ll consider telling him after we get back from Kyiv. I’m only considering it. And if I do confess...will you take me out for shawarma? Bucky took me last time and I barely got to eat anything because he stole most of my food."

"Alright, I promise," she laughed. "You got a deal."

...

SHIELD was always taking advantage of your almost unparalleled skill in the art of covert espionage and hand to hand combat and sending you off. Normally, it would last no longer than a few days or weeks at a time, so to hear that you'd be gone for four whole months made Steve feel sick to his stomach. He was dreading having to watch you leave, because it would mean spending the next third of a year by himself, without being able to see your face or your smile or simply have you around for some good company.

You pulled him aside after dinner one night to tell him the news.

"Nat and I were called in by Fury early this morning. We're being deployed to eastern Europe to stop a nuclear missile launch."

"How long will you be gone?" He tried to keep his voice as steady as possible, but it was a dead giveaway that he didn't want you to go at all.

"Well...if things go right, 3-4 months."

"And if doesn't?"

"Six, maybe seven."

Steve felt a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach at your answer. "Why is it gonna take so long?"

"I don't know," you sighed, "just trying getting in and out isn't a very short process. We have to maintain low profile for a while before we infiltrate the base. If we're discovered too early on...then...well, we're basically screwed."

"Oh."

"Hey, I'm going to be fine, if that's what you're so worried about," you took his hand in yours and squeezed it tightly, "I know you're thinking I can't handle this, but I can. Nat and I are gonna look out for each other. I promise I'll be okay."

"When are you leaving?"

"First thing in the morning. We gotta go at four."

You didn't have to add on another sentence to tell him it meant you were unable to say goodbye to anyone. He nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat and trying to ignore that weird feeling in his chest as you kept holding his hand, not letting go even when you had the chance to.

Later that night, you were able to get five hours of sleep before Natasha came in to wake you up and you got ready. When she noticed how your eyes had lost the light to them and your shoulders slumped as you boarded the jet, she knew something was up.

Guilt clawed at your insides. You should’ve told him you loved him before you left, you idiot. What if you don’t make it back alive? Hm?

A set of footsteps echoing across the hangar bay suddenly made you turn around. You turned around to see Steve, jogging towards you and calling out your name. Knowing it was only a matter of minutes before you finished boarding and took off for a mission thousands of miles away, with very little ways of communication as you were supposed to be as discreet as possible when undercover, he didn't want you to leave without saying goodbye.

A mix of surprise and relief is on your face when you see him. You shake your head and give him a reassuring look, that everything was going to be okay and you'd be just fine.

"What are you doing here? You should be sleeping," your brows furrowed together in confusion as you unloaded your weapons, tying up your combat boots. "I thought you—"

Steve quickly comes forward and crushes you into a tight embrace that tells you he's going to miss you much more than he's letting on. You were quick to return the gesture, wrapping your arms around his torso and squeezing him back, resting your head against his broad chest.

"Stay safe out there," he murmured into your hair, pressing a light, fleeting kiss to the top of your hair.

You don't question his sudden act of sentiment, and just gave him a small smile in response. "Don't worry. I will."

With that, you turned around, stepping back up the ramp with Natasha. The gates to the hangar bay slid open, and within seconds you had taken off.

Steve stands there for a while even after the Quinjet is out of his sight, and it's only when Bucky pulls him back inside that he realizes he's been standing there for over an hour without moving at all.

The first few weeks pass by in a blur. He hardly eats, he hardly sleeps, he hardly even gets up for his morning runs or trains at all. After the first two months came and went, Tony grew rather concerned seeing him deteriorate and decided to ask him what was going on.

"Tony, I'm fine."

"Like hell you are. What's up with you? You haven't eaten a solid meal in over two months. You've lost some weight around your face, you almost look like a skeleton. When you haven't gone on your morning runs in forever, I should have a reason to be worried about you, Cap."

"It's been five weeks and she hasn't checked in with us yet," he stated plainly, gulping down his third cup of coffee of the day. "She should've called a week ago."

"God, I never thought you'd be the one to get so worked up over a girl," the billionaire let out a long sigh, pouring himself a cup of coffee as well at the kitchen counter before taking a seat at the island next to him, "but here we are now."

"What if she got injured?"

"Her and Nat are looking out for each other. I'm sure she's fine. She's going to be okay, so why don't you eat something solid for once? Tell me what you wanna order, I'll get it for you."

Thanks, Tony. I'll take Thai." (You and Steve often ate Thai takeout together.)

"Anytime."

Way over in Ukraine, you and Natasha were sitting on the bed in your hotel room watching the news on TV in silence because neither one of you felt like sleeping yet, until she decided to speak up.

"Why haven't you called Rogers yet?"

"I...don't know."

"He's gotta be missing you like hell, you know."

"I know. And I miss him too...a bit too much. That's why I can't call him. Because every time I hear his voice or see something that reminds me of him, it makes me fall even more in love with him and I can't afford having that. I don't want to risk getting hurt. Besides...I already summoned every last ounce of willpower to write that letter."

"You really should give him a call. It's not doing your heart any good to purposely drain yourself of him."

"Fine."

Steve had somehow allowed himself to get roped into a Mario Kart showdown with Bucky and Sam, when his phone suddenly lit up with a familiar number he could recognize anywhere. Your contact picture filled up the screen: you grinning wildly as his arms wrapped around you from behind, Pietro photobombing in the back as he made heart signs with his hands.

He picked up the phone and answered it after only one ring.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Steve," you spoke over the phone, "how's it going?"

"Hey," he couldn't help but break into a smile, "are you alright?"

"Yeah. We got the data files downloaded onto the flash drive and then destroyed it yesterday. So for now, we're just waiting around and maybe doing some tours of Kyiv while we have time."

"What time is it over there?"

"Half past midnight. You?"

"2:30."

"How are you holding up?"

Bucky and Sam looked over at that exact moment, wiggling their eyebrows up and down as they gestured for Steve to say something. "I'm doing fine. Got pulled into a Mario Kart deathmatch with the two idiots."

"Tell Bucky and Sam I send my regards and that I'm bringing back those baguettes I promised for when we stop over in Paris," you told him.

"I will. It's good to hear your voice, Y/N."

You couldn't help but feel your heart flutter at those words. "It's good to hear your voice, too. Look, I'm sorry...but it's getting late, and my data on my phone is low, Fury didn't give me an unlimited plan so I gotta go now. See you soon."

"Okay. Try to get some good sleep, alright? I don't want you getting hurt because you didn't get a good night's rest the night before. See you."

"COME ON, MAN!" Sam yelled as soon as you hung up. "You didn't even have the decency to say 'I love you?'"

"I love her, but not like that."

"Sure you don't. I saw the way your face lit up when you picked up the phone."

"Two months," the super-soldier let out a sigh of disappointment, setting down the controller to watch him and Bucky tear each other apart on Rainbow Road, "two more months."

He picked up his phone again and clicked on his camera roll, mindlessly beginning to scroll through until one picture caught his eye. It was during summer break when you were vacationing in the Bahamas for two weeks along with several SHIELD agents, and Coulson had taken the team picture. Fury had somehow been convinced to come along as well.

As his eyes scanned all the faces in the picture, he came across himself and noticed that he wasn't smiling at the camera, but at you instead, and you were doing the same. Both of you, gazing into each others' eyes as if the two of you were the only people left on Earth.

He felt a pang in his chest as he realized, at that moment, that he was in love with you and hadn't gotten the chance to tell you so before you left. And now, it could be too late.

The letter ends up reaching Steve much faster than you'd anticipated it to. The next day, he went to drop off the sweatshirt you left in his room last time you’d had a movie night together and comes across a single sheet of paper lying out on your desk.

All the color quickly drains from his face when he realizes this wasn't actually meant for him to read. He knows what he'd just done was wrong, but the fact that he was so oblivious to how you felt about him makes him feel even worse.

...

The mission had gone extremely well. You and Natasha were in and out of that base probably faster than you could summon Tony after yelling out that one of his suits had been tampered with.

Natasha thought it'd be fun to surprise him by coming back a month early and could tell instantly that you loved the idea, judging by the way your eyes lit up when you boarded the Quinjet.

You decided to call him again on the flight back as she sat at the front piloting the jet.

"Steve?"

"Hey. What's up?"

"Uh...I'm afraid there's been a change of plans."

"What plans?" His voice quickly grew worried as he tried masking his disappointment at the fact that you weren't announcing your return.

"I'm afraid I can't tell you that, I'm sorry, but...I just wanted to call you to update you on what's happening. Signal's not very good up here, Nat and I are flying out again so I'll call you when we touch down."

"Okay. Talk to you in a bit."

After making a quick pit stop at a bakery in Paris, you were up in the skies again, zipping back towards the Avengers HQs where the rest of the team was waiting.

"You know, I think Rogers is in love with you," Natasha gave you a knowing look as you touched down.

"What makes you think that?"

"When you guys were going after Bucky...I think that's when it all happened."

"But that was several years ago?"

"Exactly."

You unbuckled your seatbelts and stood up, picking up your duffel bags as the opening gates dropped down and you stepped off the ramp to an awaiting Bucky, Sam, Clint and Peter.

"Y/N!" Peter rushed forward, squeezing you in a tight hug. "Hi! You're home early!"

"Yeah, I am," you grinned ruffling his hair as you pulled apart. "You make sure Bucky and Sam didn't misbehave?"

Sam shot you a glare as Peter replied. "Well, they were alright. Happy dropped me off here yesterday and I monitored their Mario Kart matches to make sure nobody killed someone, so yeah. Clint was good too."

You went over to Bucky as Natasha went to talk to Sam and Clint about mission details."

"Y/L/N."

"Barnes."

"How was the flight?" His hard expression softened slight as he gave you a quick hug. "I heard everything went pretty well."

"Yeah, it was okay. A bit jet-lagged, but other than that I'm fine. And speaking of flight! I got you guys something."

You motioned for Nat to bring the box of pastries from the jet, and as soon as she did everyone's eyes lit up with excitement.

"Dude, you're the best," Sam exclaimed as he bit into an eclair. "I love Parisian pastries."

"We don't wanna be here too long, now do we?" Clint spoke up. "Y/N, I think you have a special someone to surprise inside."

"Oh?" you raised an eyebrow at the archer before following him and the others inside the compound.

Steve was busy reading a news article on his phone at the kitchen island, sitting there in a plain grey T-shirt and dark jeans when he looked up and met your gaze.

"Hey, soldier," you greeted with a smirk, "miss me?"

His face broke into a grin as he set his phone down. "You're back early."

"Fury was a bit more lenient this time," you shrugged, taking your hands out of your jacket pockets, "so he let us go. Since we got the job done pretty fast."

He chuckled lightly, pulling you close in response and wrapping his strong arms around you. "I'm glad you're back."

"So I take it you really missed me, huh."

"You could put it that way."

"Like hell he missed you. You should've seen him while you were gone, Christ," Sam groaned. "He wouldn't eat anything solid for an entire week."

"Oh!" Wanda piped up, "I believe he has something to tell you? Right, Steve?"

"No, I don't?"

"Uh, we'll leave now, then," Clint awkwardly cleared his throat. "Let's give these two a minute."

With that, they calmly filed out of the kitchen, leaving the two of you to yourselves.

"You look tired," Steve raised an eyebrow at you as he noticed the dark circles under your eyes.

"You look worse," you joked, earning a small laugh from him as you circled your arms around his torso. "I'm just a bit jet-lagged. The ten hour time difference wasn't very kind to me."

"Well, I'm glad you're back," he breathed out, "I missed you."

"Ah, there it is," you mumbled into his chest. "But yeah, I missed you too. And here I was starting to think Captain America didn't have the heart to care for someone so much."

"Only for you, Y/N," he chuckled, pressing a light kiss to your forehead, "only for you."

“Wait a second,” you pulled away and saw a familiar piece of paper sticking out of his jacket pocket, “what’s that?”

Your eyes widened as you pulled it out and realized it was the letter you’d written him several months back. “Oh shit...”

“Was I not supposed to read this?’

“NO!”

“It was addressed to me, though...?”

“I never meant for you to read it!” you hissed, “Now give it back!”

“Ah ah ah! I don’t think so.”

You let out an annoyed groan, going up on your tiptoes to try and snatch the paper out of his hand. “Screw you, Rogers. Why do you have to be so damn tall?”

You jumped up and down in an attempt to get the letter back for several minutes until you finally gave up, arms growing sore. When he towered half a foot above you, it was hopeless.

Your hands landed against his chest as you let them fall and you just stood there for a few seconds, or minutes, maybe, in utter silence, with his warm breath falling against your neck and you hated yourself for wanting this moment to last longer.

The air was suddenly buzzing with anticipation, like the world was holding its breath to see what was to come next. Steve’s gaze lingered on your lips before he tilted his head downwards, placing a hand on the small of your back and pulling you in for a kiss.

His lips met your own so softly, so gently that you swore that you were dreaming for a split second, and you let out a sigh as your arms slid around his waist and tightened their grip around him.

“In case I haven’t made it obvious enough, either,” he hummed, “I’m in love with you too.”

You felt heat rise up your cheeks. “You weren’t supposed to read that!”

“Too bad,” he smirked, resting his chin on your head, “I read it already, three times. You bet I’ll be keeping this for myself.”

“I hate you so much.”

“That’s not what the letter says.”

“I hate you.”

“You love me.”

“No I don’t.”

“Yes, you do.”

“Fine! I love you.”

Steve laughed lightly. “I love you too, Y/N.”

#avengers imagines #steve rogers x reader #avengers x reader #captain america imagine #captain america x reader #avengers fanfiction #steve rogers one shot #captain america one shot #captain america fanfiction #steve rogers fanfiction

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rpmemes-galore · 4 years ago

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angel: season 3 … sentence starters

“I'm tired of being the dead one.“

“Good to see you out and about.“

“Go to your room and stay there!“

“Maybe you're growing as a person.“

“Isn't that what you do? Save people?“

“No, you'll do this because I tell you to.“

“But you can't save me this time. Can you?“

“You're still human. How'd you manage this?“

“No, you're not. You're gonna have me killed.“

“I love you so much, I almost forgot to brood.“

“I know the risks of my job, and I accept them.“

“I've been told you're very powerful, very wise.”

“Stop saying that. And stop calling me pastries.“

“I'm not really instilling any awe anymore, am I?“

“It's just important to me that she's taken care of.“

“You know we can't. I know we can't. But we did.“

“I swore that I would show no mercy. And I won’t.”

“Wow. Y'know, next to you, I am downright linear.”

“Do you know why I'm here? You are my last hope.“

“Give up? I had nothing to give up. You saw to that.”

“I spent years in a cave starving, what's their excuse?“

“Well, you know what they say... life's full of surprises.“

“I came out of my room. Small steps, just like you said.“

“I suppose it's one of the unwritten laws of being a dick.“

“Hey, I'm all for being idolized, but what the hell is going on?“

“What's your version of love? "’It's not real unless it kills me’?”

“I wanna say I'm sorry. I wanna say it and mean it, but I can't.“

“Now, you did say you were just gonna kill the humans, right?“

“We tried to stop her by hitting her fists and feet with our faces.“

“I'll say. It almost looks like a spring-loaded decapitation device.“

“I cannot help you. No man can. This is not meant to be known.“

“He should have got hammered and gone to Vegas like I told him.“

“Dead! So dead! So very, very dead. Just how dead are you, huh?“

“You think you won because you're still alive? I lived. You just existed.“

“It happened so fast. The thing just grabbed the guy and he was gone.“

“These feelings that I'm having, they're not mine. They're coming from it.“

“Now, why couldn't you have had that kind of foresight when we needed it?“

“All I know is, you use the word dick again, and we're gonna have a problem.“

“Hmmm, not sure really. It could be the low scary voice that's giving me trouble.“

“Someday you'll learn the truth, and you'll hate yourself. Don't. It's not your fault.”

“He doesn't need a lap dance, he needs some peace and quiet to work through this.“

“I realize we sacrifice a great deal of our social lives, but we have to. Work demands it.“

“He'll beat you down until you stay down, because he doesn't even think of you as alive.“

“Just because I sent you to Hell that one time doesn't mean that we can't just be friends.“

“This is what your promises are worth? I'm having a lot of trust issues at this time in my life.“

“It's not the pain. It's the helplessness. The certainty that there is nothing you can do to stop it.“

“No. You'll prove that I can trust you when the day comes that you have to kill me — and you do.“

“They don't know what it is. They don't know what it means. Nothing like this has ever happened.“

“No matter what else, I think I proved that you can trust me when I could have killed you and I didn't.”

“You have a taste for red, too... and revenge. I know. It's so much more fun than forgiveness.“

“If you don't mind, I'd prefer a clean kill. The last time I was merely wounded. It took months to heal.“

“You, who are actually responsible for the entire thing, feel nothing at all, because you are a vicious bitch.“

“Then why were you crying five minutes ago? There's not a thing about badly re-applied mascara that I don't know.”

“You son of a bitch! You bastard! You think I'd forgive you?! Never! You're gonna die! You hear me? You're gonna pay!“

“I know you don't want to talk about it, but you don't mess with dark magics and expect to just walk away like it doesn't matter.”

“Look at it. Listen to it. Can you smell it? This world. This horrible world. Why would anyone want to bring a baby into it?“

“We did so many terrible things together. So much destruction, so much pain. We can't make up for any of it. You know that, don't you?“

“She's got the big puppy love. I mean, who wouldn't? You're handsome and brave and heroic, emotionally stunted, erratic, prone to turning evil, and let's face it, a eunuch.“

“I never understood that saying-right as rain. How is rain right? Or wrong for that matter? Okay, I suppose if there's a flood it's wrong, and speaking of floods, or just being overwhelmed---”

#angel quotes #rp meme #sentence starters

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witchiswriting · 4 years ago

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A Not So Merry Christmas Chapter 2

Summary: Negan faces the aftermath.

Warnings: Negan being an asshole, swearing.

Author’s Note: Honestly, it’s my favorite chapter. I had so much fun while writing this. I hope you guys also like it.

Pairing: Negan x Lilith (OC)

When Negan got home, he decided to drown his sorrows in whiskey and gin. He didn’t give a fuck about anything anymore. He only had one goal in mind, and it was getting drunk off his ass and forget everything.

Swallowing the bitter amber colored liquid, he felt the heavy burn sensation in his throat and closed his eyes. He wanted to feel numb. The house was filled with little reminders of Lilith ; pictures on the walls, little crystals on bookshelves, little baubles she loved too much… but the worst thing was her smell. He could still scent it in the living room, drowning in it. That was why he was afraid to go into his bedroom in the first place; it was supposed to be theirs now, this night was supposed to end with them making love between the silk sheets.

As he was throwing the drink out, a loud knock on the door startled him. He was too tired to go check who it was. Besides, he already knew.

While debating if he should answer the door or not, the poundings got louder and louder.

“You have to answer me, Negan! Goddamnit.” Lilith’s determined yells’ are heard through the door and beyond. “Open the fucking door!” Lilith didn’t usually curse, unless she’s really angry.

Negan sighed. He had to face her eventually. So, he decided to do it quickly and get over with it already. He slowly unlocked the door, still hesitant.

When he opened the door, he was ready for almost anything, or at least he thought he’d be. He never could have guessed he could hurt Lilith that much. Her carefully made hair was dishevelled, her make up was ruined, but what made him speechless was the look in her eyes. They were filled with a coldness he had never witnessed before.

He expected to see heartbreak and hatred in them, but they were just empty. The even more unexpected thing was the slap. She slapped him so hard that his already tearful eyes welled up even more.

“Lili…” Negan began with a weary voice but he was cut by her harsh outburst. “Don’t you dare call me that! How dare you!? How could you!? You destroyed us in front of my mother, our friends!” She was fuming with anger.

“Lils, let me explain.” His voice was thick with emotion and he wasn’t trying to hide his tears. He was as heartbroken as she was.

“Shut. The. Fuck. Up! You got a chance to talk at our fucking rehearsal dinner, now, it’s my turn! How could you do this to me!? I thought we were happy and in love! You could have told me before if you didn’t wanna get married! I wasn’t forcing you, was I?! In fact, I was the one who needed convincing! You worked your ass off to make me fall for you and now what!?” Lilith spat out, her words full of agony and hatred.

“I didn’t want to hurt you.” He whispered.

“Fucking rich! Little late for that, don’t you think? How could you destroy us like this? You were telling me about how much you loved me last night…” Lilith couldn’t help but hiccup. Tears were slowly spilling down on her cheeks. ‘’Did you ever love me?’’ She asked, hesitation in her fragile voice.

Negan wanted to hold her and assure her everything was going to be okay. He wanted to take all her pain but he was the cause of it.

He closed his eyes and sighed deeply, pinched his nose, opened his eyes and looked into hers. ‘’I don’t fucking know,’’ he finally let the truth out.

‘’You don’t know?’’ Her lower lip was trembling, it was clear that she was doing everything she could to hold herself together at that moment. ‘’You weren’t even sure about your fucking feelings?!’’

‘’I’m not an easy man. You fucking know that, you knew what you were getting into in the beginning. When we started this relationship I really wanted this, us to work, but apparently it wasn’t destined to be the case for us. We do not belong together.’’ Negan managed to build his walls back all over again.

Lilith was stunned. Her insides were aching with pain. “Sorry that I thought you would get better as a person! You know what, Negan? You are so fucking angry with yourself! You cheated on your wife several times and you thought you could make up for it when she got sick! I’m glad she died! At least she doesn’t have to put up with your cheating ass anymore, she’s free and peaceful! She’s better off without you anyway.” She was screaming with her all power. Bringing up Lucille into this conversation was a low blow but she was too angry to feel bad about it.

“Don’t you ever fucking say her name!” Negan roared, stepping into her personal space. “Get the fuck out before I break you more, little girl.” He growled with a dangerous undertone.

Lilith took a deep breath before saying her last words. “You know what, Negan? You’ll never be happy and die a fucking miserable old man. Someday, you’re going to wish that I was with you but it will be too fucking late before you know it. You don’t know what happiness is and I fucking hate you.” With that she yanked the door open and ran outside. It was her time to not looking back.

Negan closed the door and headed to his bedroom. That was it, Lilith succeeded to make him angry. This time he wasn’t only angry at himself, but at Lilith too; he thought she would be all heartbroken and just pour her heart out but her words were sharp as fucking glass and cut him deeply, so he had to break her in turn.

It was his way of rationalizing things in his head. When he stepped into his bedroom, he couldn’t help but get emotional again. Lilith’s nightgown was on the bed, the room was full of her perfume. He knew what he lost but he was too angry to accept it. If he could blame Lilith for all the things he had done, it would be easier to get better, though he was less than optimistic about him finding happiness ever again.

So, he literally ran out of the room and took the whiskey bottle. This time he didn’t even bother with a glass, drinking right from the bottle.

An hour later, a drunk Negan was thinking about what kind of a man Lilith would find in time. He was sure that she could find someone else and fall in love again. She had so much waiting for her, she was young, but the thought of her with someone else still made the blood in his veins run cold. He blew his chance, yet thinking of her with some other prick still pissed him off.

His thoughts got cut off with another knock on the door. He stood up woozily and headed towards the door, spilling the whiskey in the process.

When he opened the door with a goofy grin on his face, Negan was met with the angry blue eyes of his friend, Rick Grimes. ‘’What the fuck were you thinking, you asshole?’’ Rick practically yelled at Negan. He was seemingly disgusted with his drunken state.

Negan chuckled nonchalantly, offering his friend the bottle in his hand, despite it being nearly empty. ‘’I just fucking dumped some miserable girl, prick. Don’t fucking act like it’s a big fucking deal.’’ He slurred, ‘’Y’know what? She fucking told me that I would never be happy. Fucking bullshit.’’ He started to giggle.

Rick was watching the scene before him with astonishment. ‘’How much did you fucking drink?’’ He asked with a stern voice.

Negan feigned as if he was thinking about something important. ‘’I don’t fucking know but I’m ready to bang a few chicks. Let’s go to fucking a bar and find a big breasted hot brunette.’’ Apparently, he was enjoying himself.

Rick got in Negan’s face. ‘’Do you even hear what you’re fucking saying man? Cut the shit!’’ He shook Negan harshly.

‘’Get your fucking hands off me!’’ Negan yelled and tried to push Rick with all of his power, but he was too drunk to even stand up, let alone anything else.

‘’Would you listen to yourself? You left Lilith alone, you fucking abandoned her like that in front of everyone. Did you even care for her? She was your last chance at happiness, you motherfucking asshole.’’ Rick was practically walking up to Negan.

Negan shrugged like a petulant child. ‘’I don’t fucking care. I’m better off without her.’’ He started to laugh as if he told some funny joke.

Rick was running out of patience. ‘’You know what? She’s better off without you. I don’t know what you are thinking or what kind of fucking monster got into you but you’d better man up or I’ll handle things without you. I’ll make sure that you won’t get near her.’’ His word spilled out of his mouth with anger.

Rick’s words fueled Negan’s rage, almost sobering him up. ‘’What, Prick? You’re gonna try to get into Lilith’s pants now? Well, enjoy my sloppy seconds.’’ He answered with a cocky tone.

Rick couldn’t take Negan’s insults anymore; he punched him in the face, hard. ‘’You’re not even worth it. I considered you my friend, you fucking bastard.’’ He was shaking with anger.

‘’Don’t act like you’re fucking better than me Ricky, your ex-wife cheated on you with your best friend. I knew that you were going after Lilith. Fucking sorry that I loosened her…’’ Negan never finished his sentence as his world was suddenly filled with stars.

When Negan woke up, he was lying on the couch, half of the whiskey spilled on him but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He rubbed his forehead and the memories of this evening started to flash in his mind. He slowly got up and checked his watch, it was past midnight.

He lost his friend just like he lost Lilith. There was no coming back from what he had done and said. He was too far gone. Thinking about what he could’ve had, he slowly walked through the bathroom and washed his face, avoiding to look at the mirror because even the thought of seeing his own face sickened him.

When he got out of the bedroom, the person he’d have the least expected was standing in front of him. Her back was facing him, she was wearing a polka dotted sundress in the middle of December.

Negan felt a strange familiarity but couldn’t put his finger on it…

The figure turned around slowly, ‘’You look more miserable than the day I died.’’ The woman said with a soft smile on her face. She was standing in the middle of Negan’s room and was wearing the outfit she had on when they first met.

Negan froze. He knew that voice. It had been haunting him for years. He swallowed and blinked a few times, trying to wake himself up because surely he was dreaming, right?…

‘’Lucille…’’ he choked on his words.

‘’Hello, Negan.’’ She replied with that sweet tone of hers. Her curly brown hair was around her shoulder and she was looking even more beautiful than he remembered.

‘’Aren’t you…’’ Negan couldn’t finish his sentence. He was dreading the word.

‘’Yes, I’m very much dead but still here.’’ She answered like it wasn’t a big deal. ‘’So, how have you been?’’

‘’Good. You?’’

‘’Don’t lie to me, honey. You know I always see through your lies.’’ Lucille slowly got closer to him and caressed his cheek.

Negan desperately held onto her delicate hand. He was crying silently. ‘’I miss you so fucking much.’’ he whispered.

‘’I miss you too, love, but that’s not what I’m talking about. Lucille smiled softly before got serious ‘’Why did you leave that girl, Negan?’’

‘’Do you know about her?’’ Negan asked with a confused tone.

‘’I know everything about you, love. I know about your relationship with Lilith, I know about what you did to her.’’ Lucille explained with a knowing expression.

Negan shifted uncomfortably. ‘’And you are okay with it? Me being with her?’’

‘’Of course, I am. Though you hurt her badly, my love.’’ Lucille was watching his face with her chocolate colored eyes. ‘’You’re more handsome than before.’’ She smiled softly.

‘’I left her because of what I did. I couldn’t tell her, Lucy, she’s not you and I could never love her as much as I love you.’’

‘’You’re already head over heels in love with her, Negan. She’s your last chance at happiness.’’ Lucille said what Negan dreaded most.

‘’She would never forgive me, Lucille. I screwed things up. Again.’’ He smiled sadly.

‘’First, you need to forgive yourself, Negan. Yes, she’s not me and it would take time for her to forgive you but she loves you. She’d find forgiveness in herself eventually. She cares about you as much as you do for her.’’ Lucille took Negan’s head in her hands and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

Negan held her in his arms and brushed his nose to hers. ‘’It’s too fucking late for that, Lucy.’’ he whispered.

‘’It’s not too late for anything. Make it up to her, find a way to forgive yourself, Negan. You deserve a happy ending.’’ Lucille took a step back.

Negan opened his eyes and looked at her through his tears. ‘’Don’t go, please. I can’t do this without you.’’ He was crying silently.

‘’You can and you will.’’ Lucille turned away from him, ‘’And I forgive you, Negan. We’ll meet again.’’ At that, she disappeared into the night.

When Negan woke up, his head was throbbing. He tried to open his eyes but they were too heavy.

‘‘Fucking hangover’’, Negan thought to himself and slowly opened his eyes.

He wasn’t in his bedroom; instead, he was laying in a king sized, grey sheeted bed and the windows were covered with heavy, dark curtains.

There were mounted animals on the grey walls and the room was furnished tastefully.

He groaned loudly, ‘’I’m fucking dreaming again. Shit, I drank too fucking much last night.’’ He buried his head in his grey pillow and tried to sober up.

Suddenly, the grand wooden door is opened and a man with a pornstache walked in. ‘’Good morning, boss. It’s almost noon, so I thought I should check on you.’’ The man said with an apologetic tone.

Negan was shocked again but he was determined to wake up from this dream or nightmare, probably the latter. So, he asked with a growl. ‘’Where the fuck am I?’’

The pornstached man answered with a surprised but careful undertone ‘’Umm… boss, it’s home, The Sanctuary.

#jeffrey dean morgan #negan #negan x reader #twd negan #negan angst #negan fanfiction #jdm #jdm imagine #negan smut #the walking dead #twd #negan x oc #negan x lilith

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dajaregambler · 4 years ago

Text

HeliosR - Dino Albani Character story - part 1

Translation of the first part of Dino’s character story from ‘Helios Rising Heroes’.

Dino: Ooooi, Keith…. Keith, wake up-?

Keith: Hmn….nngh~......? Shuddup…. lemme sleep lil’ bit more…

Dino: C’mon, Keith! Don’t hide under your comforter!

Keith: Uuuuu~~ stop….. Put it back, Junior…..

Dino: Huh? Junior? What are you saying, Keith. I’m not Junior, you know?

Keith: ...Mmh? Not, Junior….. Dino!?

Dino: Ahahah, you jumped awake. Your bed hair is still impressive as always♪

Dino: Actually, has Junior been waking you up until now? The rookies are looking after you and yet you’re the mentor, good grief…

Dino: From now on I’ll be the one dragging you out of bed. Eventually I want that you’ll wake up on your own though…

Keith: A-ah okay. It was today… that you're moving in here huh…

Dino: Yep yep, my bad that it’s on your off day. But thought to better wake you up since I’ll be organizing my baggage and dust will be blowing all over

Dino: I’ve carried most of it in already. I started to get a bit worried because you wouldn’t wake up at all and I was running all over the place-

Keith: Uoh, what is this!?

Dino: Eh, what what? What’s wrong?

Keith: The hell’s all this baggage… It’s all crazily squeezed in here….

Dino: Aah, ahaha~..... While being shut in the medical room, I’ve chosen furniture and things necessary for life however,

Dino: Before I knew it was really fun looking through the catalogue. There was this and that, and like that…. I kinda ordered a bit too much♪

Keith: The hell you’re all ‘’I kinda ordered a bit too much♪’’, no matter how you look at it it’s overkill!

Dino: I’m sorry!

Keith: Apologizing to me won’t do anything… Anyway, besides all this there’s stuff of yours from a long time ago too. Do ya get it?

Dino: I-I do… It’s the ones you took and put in your room right?

Keith: There’s a lot y’know. Thanks to that it's making my room unbearably smaller

Dino: N-no way….?

Keith: Haaah…. You had that habit of impulse buying since forever, if there was something that caught your attention on TV shopping, you’d buy it without thinking ahead

Keith: Sooo relieved to see that it hasn’t changed at all even now

Dino: Ah, you’re relieved? Then that’s good-

Keith: That was sarcasm, sarcasm! Who’s gonna be relieved with that, of course I’m fed up with it!

Dino: Eh, sarcasm!? And you’re fed up with it…. I’m sorry~~~~, so sorry Keith!

Keith: I already told you apologizing to me won’t do anything… C’mon, hurry up and clean it up. I’ll bring out the stuff I’ve put aside

Keith: Geez… Why do I gotta put so much effort this early in the morning on an off day? Gonna evacuate to the living at once and drink beer….

Keith: When your room’s all cleaned up and you’re reinstated, I’ll make you work hard as much as I had to keep at it on my own until now, got it?

Dino: Absolutely, I was already planning that. However together with Keith, that is♪

Keith: Haah? I’ve been doing my best to the point of dropping dead until now, starting now I’m gonna kick back and take it easy

Keith: Looking after the rookies, that’s clearly work cut out for ya. I’ve always been the kind of guy thats better off working alone

Dino: No wait, I can’t turn a blind eye to skipping. You’re saying that you’ve worked so hard till you died, but I’ve been hearing dozens of complaints from Junior

Dino: Like to what extent you’ve been careless and slacking off so far… Though now that I’m here, I absolutely won’t forgive any negligence. You better be prepared, Keith?

Keith: Th-that Junior…. That unnecessary stuff, when did he…

Dino: Good grief, you didn’t drink at all in the past… Even though your behaviour wasn’t good you kept your hands off of it, I was sure you wouldn’t end up drinking

Keith: It’s… At that time, I just didn’t think that I’d wanna drink yet

Dino: ? Then what made you start drinking?

Keith: ...Who knows. Forgot ‘bout it

Keith: Anyway, don’t just chit chat, get your hands to moving. Look, this is yours. And this, that, this and… aah, this too huh.

Dino: Uwaah, amazing! So many things full of memories are coming out…!

Dino: Uh… there’s seriously a lot of things. It’s already overkill, where in the world can I put this….

Keith: I dunno. You’re the one that bought it, deal with it one way or another

Dino: O-one way or another…

Keith: …….. Geez, ya haven’t changed at all y’know?

Keith: Impulse buying unnecessary things without thinking of what you’ll do with it, and keep them forever without throwing anything out….

Keith: Ya said that’s also ‘love and peace’ or whatever, but if ya keep saying it it’ll end up in getting yourself buried alive someday

Dino: G-guh…

Dino: But throwing it out makes me feel guilty you know. Once I recognize or form a connection with it, I grow extremely fond of it…..

Dino: Of course there’s also things that my grandpa and grandma gave to me but like, there’s clothes I bought on a whim, or the stickers and badges I got as a freebie with something too...

Dino: Keith, you also have at least something right? Something that you can’t throw out no matter what….

Keith: There ain’t, that kinda thing

Dino: Really?

Keith: ….Yeah, ain’t

Dino: I see…..

Keith: ……..

Keith: Oi. In this pile, what’s something you haven’t touched in a year?

Dino: Eh? Where’s that suddenly coming from…

Keith: Anything’s fine, just think about it thoroughly. Answer only where ‘’One year, haven’t touched’’ applies

Dino: One year…. I haven't been here until recently so that makes ‘all of it’ though….?

Keith: Then, all of it is going in the trash can

Dino: EEEEH!? Wa- wait wait, what are you saying Keith!

Keith: Ya know ‘bout ‘’simple living’’?

Dino: S-simple living….?

Keith: It’s been said that abstaining desire, discarding irrelevant things, letting go of attachment…. or something and whatever, is roughly what the innermost secrets of tidying are.

Keith: Originally it was something taught at yoga, but I dunno much ‘bout if I had to be honest. Just thought of it since Brad had said something like that before

Keith: Peeves me off to borrow his words but, it fits ya perfectly right now.

Keith: Haven’t touched something in a year means it isn’t needed, so throw it out completely. With that strategy in mind clean it all up at once

Dino: Clean it up...wait a second! Going as far as putting a game console in the trash is awful, Keith!

Keith: Shut it! Everything here is going to be thrown out! Don’t goddamn meddle!

Dino: ….!

Dino: U-um… Ah that’s right, didn’t you want to drink beer? C’mon, I’m fine from here so go to the living….

Keith: That I can do after. I’m good so you go on the other side and clean up

Keith: ….Tch. The hell with that you won’t forgive any negligence. I’ll absolutely never let those bad habits of yours off the hook.

Keith: Prepare yourself, Dino

Dino: H-hiiiieee~~~!?

Notes:

The ‘simple living’ Keith speaks about is actually ‘’断捨離’’ (danshari), it’s kind of hard to translate in English since it’s more of an ‘idea’ meaning about how you should clean up and let go of unnecessary things, making room for better ‘mental clarity’ in life. In a sense, it’s what Marie Kondo’s core of her teachings entails too but executed in a bit of a different way (Does it spark joy? If not, throw it out).

#heliosR #helios rising heroes #dino albani #keith max

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lucifersresources · 4 years ago

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as always, feel free to change pronouns/alter etc to fit!

mean.

“ you have knocked me off my feet again. ”

“ got me feeling like i’m nothing. ”

“ you can take me down with just one single blow. ”

“ all you’re ever gonna be is mean. ”

“ somebody i’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me. ”

“ you have pointed out my flaws again as if i don’t already see them. ”

“ i just wanna feel okay again. ”

“ all you are is mean, and a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life. ”

the story of us.

“ i used to think one day we’d tell the story of us. ”

“ people would say, ‘they’re the lucky ones’. ”

“ i used to know my place was the spot next to you. ”

“ i don’t even know what page you’re on. ”

“ miscommunications lead to fall-out. ”

“ now i’m standing alone in a crowded room & we’re not speaking. ”

“ is it killing you like it’s killing me? ”

“ the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now. ”

“ you’re doing your best to avoid me. ”

“ you held your pride like you should’ve held me. ”

“ i’d tell you i miss you, but i don’t know how. ”

“ i’ve never heard silence quite this loud. ”

“ i liked it better when you were on my side. ”

“ i would lay my armour down if you said you’d rather love than fight. ”

“ the story of us might be ending soon. ”

never grow up.

“ don’t you ever grow up. ”

“ i won’t let nobody hurt you. ”

“ won’t let no one break your heart. ”

“ no one will desert you. ”

“ i just realised everything i have is someday gonna be done. ”

“ wish i’d never grown up. ”

enchanted.

“ there i was again tonight, forcing laughter, faking smiles. ”

“ it was enchanting to meet you. ”

“ i was enchanted to meet you. ”

“ i’m wonderstruck. ”

“ who do you love? ”

“ this night is flawless. ”

“ my thoughts will echo your name. ”

“ these are the words i held back. ”

“ please don’t be in love with someone else. ”

“ please don’t have somebody waiting on you. ”

better than revenge.

“ time for a little revenge. ”

“ i underestimated just who i was dealing with. ”

“ she had to know, the pain was beating on me like a drum. ”

“ she underestimated just who she was stealing from. ”

“ there is nothing i do better than revenge. ”

“ no amount of vintage dresses gives you dignity. ”

innocent.

“ i guess you really did it this time: let yourself in your warpath. ”

“ wasn’t it beautiful when you believed in everything? ”

“ your string of lights are still bright to me. ”

“ who you are is not where you’ve been. ”

“ you’re still an innocent. ”

“ did some things you can’t speak of, but at night you live it all again. ”

“ you wouldn’t be shattered on the floor now if only you had seen what you know now then. ”

“ wasn’t it beautiful running wild till you fell asleep: before the monsters caught up to you? ”

“ it’s okay, life is a tough crowd. ”

“ 32, and still growing up now. ”

“ who you are is not what you did, ”

“ time turns flames to embers. ”

“ you’ll have new septembers. ”

“ every one of us has messed up to. ”

“ minds change like the weather. ”

“ today is never too late to be brand new. ”

#taylor swift sentence starters #taylor swift rp meme #taylor swift lyric meme #lyric rp meme #lyric sentence starters #music rp meme #angst rp meme #speak now meme

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bestyouuniveristy · 3 years ago

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i am doing v v badly right now. i'm not sure on the right words. but it is bad.

I would like to apologize in advance for my language and for sounding like an asshole. It’s honestly just the way I type. Everything I say is with all the love and sunshine in the world.

Hey @calictii!

While I don’t know what exactly you are going through, I did take a little peek at your most recent post. First off, what you said was not dumb as fuck. Never invalidate your own feelings that way. It is harmful to the soul. Second, I have to say, I get it. I totally 100% get it. It’s hard to deal with these things on a daily basis when you’re young and still trying figure out who you are in the process of your mind tearing you down. I was there a couple of years ago myself. The only way I got through it was by throwing myself headfirst into the military where all feelings were invalid. Not saying that was the right way, but it’s what I did to hide from it. It’s okay to feel the way you do. Maybe lost, confused, hopeless. I’m not sure if you ever got professional help and are ready to start your life, or if you are still struggling and can admit that you need to start your life soon. Either way, you can’t look at it as if you were behind everyone else. It’s not a competition. You’re not behind in the race. You have time to map things out. Don’t have money? A lot of local stores and fast food chains start hiring after summer break. Want to go to college? There are plenty of financial aid options available to you. Wanna crawl into a hole and die? No. Just no.

I noticed the hashtag that said you didn’t like yourself. I remember feeling that way when I was depressed. I hated myself and cried myself to sleep just about every night. Nobody in my house cared how I felt though. So I never got any professional help. But I can tell you this. You might feel like you are alone, and in the dark, but you’re not. You have the entire world at your disposal and if you feel like you don’t, I’m here to help you understand everyday why you’re not.

A lot of this getting better shit is just reclaiming your life. You have to have that mindset that says, “world, I am a badass. Hit me with everything you got.” And with that comes the responsibility you have to yourself to be unapologetically, you. The world is not out to get you, people are not staring at you in that store, nobody is watching you sit in your car. Nothing you do is being judged to the point where you have to hide away and shelter your true self. Because no one cares! It took me so long to realize that but no one gives a fuck what you do or when, how and why you do it.

“You can get through anything in the moment , but it’s the fear of what might happen that undoes us.”

-The Fosters

All of these thoughts that go on in your head during your episodes aren’t real. Well, I mean, they’re real to you. But not to anyone else. No one knows that you hate yourself or that you feel uncomfortable in your own body. Nobody knows that you feel badly about your situation. Nobody knows because it’s none of their business. Nobody knows because they don’t care. One of the first steps is regaining your confidence. You have to adapt the mindset that nobody knows all of these deep sad thoughts I’m thinking about myself so I can truly be myself. Nobody know that I’m crying on the inside because I think I look stupid, so ima go get some ice cream. Nobody knows that I want to kill myself every time I open my eyes and the bright burning fireball called the sun is penetrating my eyeballs, so ima go take a walk around the park. It’s the little things, that aren’t so little, that make the difference. You have to combat every negative thought with a positive one in turn. If you have nothing positive to say about yourself or the situation, take a walk, drink some water, take a warm shower. Depression and anxiety damage your perspective of the world and how you react to it. That short fuse? In your head. That tiredness that’s killing you? In your head. That body ache? In your head. It’s difficult to shake the thoughts and the mindset that you have adapted throughout your entire life in response to the depression. But you have to start somewhere.

With that being said. There are steps you should consider taking when it comes to getting better, if you are willing. Increase you water intake. This is very important! Hydration not only helps improve your energy levels, it also helps to clear and hydrate your skin. Start off by drinking a cup of water a day and increase your intake by a cup or two every week until you reach a gallon a day. As much as I hate to admit this, exercise is extremely important for your mental health. Even if you only do a simple workout for 15 minutes a day, you are aiding in the healing of you mind. Sometimes it sucks to get out of bed as it is but sometimes you have to push past the things that make you uncomfortable in order to get better. Which brings me to sleep schedule. Do not underestimate the value of sleep when it comes to healing. There is a reason that doctors tell you to get lots of rest when you’re sick. And I know your sleep schedule is probably fucked but everything I said before this actually sets you up for an improved sleep schedule. Set a wake up time on your phone or alarm. Make sure it’s a time that you feel comfortable waking up at every day. And then set a good night alarm for a decent hour. Make sure there is no more and no less than 8 hours in between wake up and goodnight. And last but not least, a positive attitude goes a long way. You cannot and will not get better of you don’t put in the effort. If you start getting negative thoughts and your first reaction is “fuck, I’m going to kill myself” you’re not helping yourself. Instead, take a step back from whatever you’re doing and realize who the fuck you are. Take a step back and take a deep breath. Take a step back and count to ten. Take a step back and try again. Find the positive in whatever negative thing that crosses your mind. “Idk what the fuck to do with my life! Ugh I’m so tired of this!”…… “I am alive. I was given this life for a reason. Let me go and figure that out.” You know what I mean? And I know it’s hard, trust me. Been there done that. And that’s exactly my point. Someday, you’ll be saying “been there, some that” to the next person who is having your same issues. And it will feel so fucking good to be able to say “I helped someone today, because of what I went through. I am not a burden. Never was.” And you won’t have to regret a single moment of what you did to get better.

(Do all of the above for two weeks straight and notice the difference in your mind.)

You are not worthless. You are not a burden. You are not disposable. You are not ugly. You are not stupid. You are not a waste of space. You are you. And you have missed out on a lot of things that you can bring to the table because of this disease that is telling you it’s not worth it. I take that back. You didn’t miss out. You and everything you have to offer is still there. You just have to be willing to put in the necessary work in order to get you back. It’s completely possible. You are in control of your own life. You don’t need the medication and the therapy if you trust yourself enough. But also DO NOT HESITATE TO GET THE NECESSARY PROFESSIONAL HELP NEEDED.

I guess what I’m trying to say is. I’m sorry that you are going through this. But, hopefully, one day you’ll be okay. It’s not too late to do everything that you feel you needed to do ten years ago. It’s not all gonna come at once but it will come. Be patient with yourself. Respect yourself. Know that it won’t be easy. But I can guarantee you that the view from the top is pretty fucking good.

-Your newest friend @feelingsarehar3 ❤️‍🔥

Also, I’m sorry if I overstepped in any way. It was not my intention. I’m just an ask away.

#encouragement #motivation #fitspo #motivational quotes #inspiration #positive mental attitude #positive thoughts #self care #self care reminder #positivity

5 notes · View notes

fiction-fun · 4 years ago

Text

A Loving Headline

@braidedchallah @alexanderdamnhethin @creedtheconquer @rthoney @andpeggy21 @pixiepip @little-nymph-claro @haha-gunsgoburrr @hamiltimes

Fandom: Newsies the musical

Pairing: Jack/Oc

Words: 6526

I blinked open my eyes and stood quickly, pulling my vest tight around me and tucking my hair up under my hat. I reached down and shook the kid’s shoulders.

“Come on, little ones. Time to go see Ms. Medda Larkin.” I said softly.

The kids groaned but stood up getting ready for the day. I grabbed my paper bag and made sure I had enough on me for the hundred I’d be getting that day. I took Bea’s hand and lifted Ry into my arms before walking quickly down the fire escape and out of the alley. I took a look around before running across the street and ducking back behind the theatre. I knocked quickly still looking over my shoulder.

“Ley! There you are, I was getting worried.” Medda said opening the door.

I smiled softly and passed her Ry before lifting Bea up into the doorway.

“They didn’t wanna get up today. I gotta go, Jack'll never let me live it down if 'e beats me to the gate! I’ll sees yous two later, behave!” I called before turning and racing away.

I slid around the corner getting to the gate and catching my breath seconds before Jack and Crutchie walked up.

“Ley, how you always beat us here.” Jack said shaking his head and smirking at me.

I laughed sharply.

“Maybe someday you’ll be able to beat me. Not likely, but maybe.” I said a smirk curling my lips.

Jack laughed a bit at that before stopping and turning to the gate, the others coming around us. We stood watching the board.

“Whatcha think it’s gonna be today?” Someone asked behind me.

Jack shrugged and turned his head slightly.

“Doesn’t matter, if I don’t like it, I’ll just change it.” Jack said his solution to most things.

I shook my head and closed my eyes.

“I just hope it’s not the rail strike, again.” I muttered.

Those had been hard papers to sell lately. I heard murmured agreements and even Jack was nodding along. We all groaned as the board lit up.

“Rail strike enters week three! Great.” I heard muttered behind me.

The two goons opened the gate and we entered, forming the line.

“Hey Weasel!” Jack called.

We all laughed.

“It’s Wiesel!” the paper pusher called.

Jack shrugged and took his stack; I slapped my money done and shot him a look.

“Weasel, my man!” I shouted.

I walked over and grabbed my stack, high giving Jack as I did.

“Hey, weasel!” Crutchie continued the call.

I laughed and high fives him too. The kids behind Crutchie were new though.

“You could at least call me Mr.” Wiesel said with a gruff.

The kid behind Crutchie put his coin down.

“20 papers please, Mr. Wiesel.” He said as a younger boy darted over to us and grabbed a paper bag.

I looked at him and closed my eyes, he was barely older than Bea and Ry. I knew Jack saw it as an opportunity.

“Fifty more papes for the new kids!” jack said slapping a coin down.

The kid tried to fight him over it but his younger brother struck up a deal with Jack and I laughed when they shook.

“That’s disgusting.” Davey said pulling a face as Jack helped Les down.

“No, that’s how we do business. Good luck, I’m off.” I called sticking a hand up and walking away.

I went around and sold my papes the best I could, falling three short by the time my area cleared out. I sighed softly as I counted the money in my hands.

'Well, they’ll get to eat. ‘I thought as I headed back towards the theatre, seeing Jack, Davey and Les race in.

I looked and saw Snyder chasing them. I ducked back into the shadows praying they would keep me from being seen. I let out a breath and raced across the street when I was sure he was gone. I yanked open the back door and jumped in.

“Snyder after you again, Jack?” Medda was asking.

I saw Jack nod and look up I gave him a glare.

“Ya almost led him right to me!” I growled walking over to him.

His eyes went wide, and he backed up a step.

“Now, let’s not do nothin' hasty!” Jack said hands up.

I glared at him before turning back to Medda.

“Hey Ms. Medda, where are they?” I asked looking around.

She opened her mouth just as I heard two sets of feet racing towards me. I dropped to my knees and caught them hugging them tightly.

“Thanks for letting them stay here.” I said looking up at her.

“Anything for you Ley, you two know you’re always welcome.” She said smiling.

We ended up staying for a show before heading back out, Jack had tried to convince us to stay but I still had to get the kids food. I got them food quickly before we ducked back into the small hole we had found. The next morning, we repeated the morning. I got to the gate and waited, Jack and Crutchie joining me minutes later.

“Let’s hope.” I muttered.

The others nodded, and muttered agreements. All noise stopped when we saw the board.

“Prices raised for paperboys! Sixty cents a hundred?” someone read out.

We all turned to Jack; he was our leader.

“They can’t do that can they Jack?” was a common question I heard.

Jack laughed and shook his head.

“Nah! They’re just yanking us!” Jack said and that seemed to reassure everyone.

We formed a line and Jack slapped his coins down.

“Hundred papes!” he called.

Wiesel laughed meanly.

“It’s 60¢ for the hundred, Jack.” He called a cold cruel grin on his face.

Jack backed up and our line broke. He sat heavily on a crate and the others crowded him, until Les made them back up.

“Jack, you still thinkin'?” Les asked a few seconds later.

Jack nodded and then waved us in.

“We just ain’t gonna sell them, and we ain’t gonna let nobody else sell them either!” Jack declared.

Jack and Davey got into an argument about what a Union needs and how to go on strike. I swallowed feeling the ice slide down my back.

“Jack.” I called; he had just declared the strike.

He looked up at me, his eyes widening a bit, he waved me over to the truck.

“Go ahead, we won’t blame you. You gots responsibilities.” He said.

The others all started to throw a fit as I slowly walked over to the truck setting the sixty cents down to take my hundred. I kept my head down as I walked back passed the boys.

“Ley!” I paused at Jack’s voice.

I turned and looked at him.

“Don’t worry none.” He said and I gave a small smile before moving out into the city to sell my papers.

Each one I sold felt wrong, but I had to. I sold out and still had barely enough to get us all food.

‘I’ll go without tonight, so we have a little buffer in case I don’t sell enough tomorrow.’ I thought as I trudged back to the theatre.

I got the kids and we got food, then I got them back to the safe spot and got them laid down. I heard it then.

“Ry, buddy did ya just snuffle?” I asked crouching down to look at him.

I had already taken my hat and vest off, letting my hair fall down my back. The little boy nodded and snuffled again, I reached out and felt his forehead, flinching at the warmth I found. I sighed and leaned back, quickly tugging my vest on, and tucking my hair back into my hat.

“Stay here and don’t make a sound, don’t come out until I get back got me?” I asked softly.

Both kids nodded and I ducked out of the hole, running to the corner pharmacy looking through the medicine there.

'So much for a buffer.” I bit my lip as I tried to decide.

If I got the one, I knew would work it would wipe out the money I had left and make it so I couldn’t get a hundred papes tomorrow. I turned and looked trying to see if there were any other options. I reached my hand up and then hesitated.

“Are you buying something?” the counter person asked.

I looked at them for a second before looking down.

“Let me go get more money, the prices are different than what I remember.” I muttered as I turned and ran from the shop.

But I didn’t go back to the kids, I don’t know why, but I headed towards where Jack stayed. I stopped seeing him talking with that reporter lady from the other day.

“We’re counting on you, Katherine!” Jack called as she walked away.

I almost walked away; I knew Jack understood why I had to sell….but I still felt bad.

“Ley?” Jack asked turning and seeing me.

I looked up at him and waved slightly. He gave me a concerned look; he could always read me. He walked over and took my arm, leading me to the stairs, he was the only one who knew the truth.

“What’s wrong, Kaley?” he asked his voice dropped low enough no one else would hear.

I closed my eyes and bit my lip again.

‘Besides you flirting with the reporter girl?’ I thought before shaking it off.

“Ry is…is sick. And I didn’t make enough today to feed us and get his medicine. I already went without, so we’d have some incase somethin' else happened but the medicine, Jack it’s so much.” I said my voice cracking.

Jack watched me for a second before hugging me gently, that’s what was nice about Jack. He was all rough and tumble during the day but if you needed him, he was there for you.

“How much?” he asked voice soft.

I took a breath.

“25¢, I…I got most of it but it’ll wipe out any kind of buffer we had. But I have to get it! I swore I’d protect those kids.” I said my voice shaking slightly.

Jack patted my shoulder and stood up; I closed my eyes.

'He's mad, he won’t help. Why would he? I still sold; I broke us up during something so important!’ I thought.

My thoughts were cut off when I felt Jack take my hand and press a coin into it.

“Jack…I…” I said my voice wavering.

He shook his head and waved off my words.

“No, you get that medicine, and you pay me back later. If anyone knows what it takes to survive out here it’s you and me. Now, I know you’re all up in your head but, I ain’t mad atcha. I know what you gotta do, the others ain’t so happy with you, but they stopped bitchin' when I told ‘em to. Now go.” Jack said.

I stood up and hugged him quickly.

“Thank you.” I whispered before racing back off to the Pharmacy.

I ran inside and grabbed the bottle of medicine before going to the counter.

“I didn’t think you’d actually come back.” The person made no attempt to hide his disdain for me.

“Just this thanks.” I said a fake smile on my face.

He sighed and rung up the medicine, I paid quickly taking the brown bag and running from the shop. I took a long winding way back, just in case he watching me to try and send Snyder the Spider after me. I got back to the safe spot and ducked inside.

“Hey, hey, it’s ok guys. It’s just me.” I said crouching in front of them.

I tugged my cap off and pulled the medicine from the bag, I had read it in the shop and poured just the right amount into a cup for Ry. I gave it to him and he made a face.

“Now get some sleep buddy.” I whispered before settling down next to them.

I tugged off my vest and spread it over top of them, giving them a little more warmth. The next morning, I woke up early and let them sleep in for a minute with a sigh, looking at the sky as it slowly went from dark inky black to a lighter grey.

“Kay?” I heard a soft voice and turned my head seeing Ry sitting up, Bea behind him.

I smiled gently.

“Hey buddy, how are you feeling?” I asked as I grabbed the bottle and poured another dose for him.

Ry sniffled again and shrugged. I frowned softly and felt his forehead again before giving him the medicine.

'Maybe Ms. Medda will let us stay in the theatre for a few nights.’ I thought.

“You seem upset.” Bea said looking at me.

I smiled softly and ruffled her hair.

“I always worry boutcha when you’re sick!” I said smiling softly.

Bea batted my hands away and flattened her hair or tried to.

“But you look sad, like when momma and daddy didn’t come home!” Ry said looking at me.

I sighed and nodded.

“I let my boys down yesterday and I have to again today.” I said softly.

I didn’t like letting them into my problems, I was older I was meant to take care of them. Bea and Ry looked at each other before scooting to me, hugging me.

“So, don’t.” Bea said softly.

I laughed and kissed her forehead.

“If I don’t, we don’t eat.” I said softly.

They looked at each other and shrugged.

“We get can get food lots of other ways!” Ry said, with a smile.

I swallowed, the way he was talking about is when I used to steal for us.

“I can’t do that anymore.” I whispered.

It was true, Jack had been my partner and he had gotten caught, for me. They didn’t know that. They hugged me again.

“It’s ok, they’ll forgive you.” Bea said and I hoped she was right.

We got ready and headed to the theatre.

“Thanks again Ms. Medda. For everything.” I said as it turned to trudge off to the gate.

“Ley!” Ms. Medda called.

I turned to look at her and she stepped out of the theatre and over to me.

“Help your family.” She said softly.

I nodded towards the theatre.

“That’s what I’m doing.” I said trying to stay strong in my resolve.

She shook her head and pressed something into my hand, tilting my head up when I went to look at it.

“Your chosen family.” She said before gently turning me and giving me a shove towards the gate.

I walked a few feet and turned the corner, before pausing and opening my hand. Ms. Medda had pressed a roll of coins into my hand and sent me on my way, I looked back towards the theatre before nodding tugging my bag off I took off running.

“Ley! I beat you!” Jack called a smirk on his face.

I gave him a look, having tucked the coins into my pocket.

“Jack, shut up.” I said before throwing my bag on the ground at his feet.

His head followed the movement before his head snapped back up and he looked at me.

“What about?” He asked trailing off.

Only Davey, Les and him knew about the kids. I smiled and tilted my head back towards the theatre.

“Let’s just say Ms. Medda helped me make up my mind. And they also said I should help.” I said vaguely.

“Aw yeah! Ley’s with us!” Crutchie called waving his crutch with the strike flag on it.

I let out a sharp laugh and ruffled his hair.

“I was always with ya, ya damn fool!” I called.

After that, the day went downhill and before I knew it, I was running for my life from Snyder and the cops.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” I yelled as I spun around a corner and up a flight of stairs.

‘I hope everyone managed to get away.’ I thought as I finally stopped to breath, I was hidden behind an outcrop on a roof.

I waited a while before making my way over to Jack's, hoping to find him. I ran up the fire escape and looked over the railing giving a small sigh of relief.

“Jack!” I called relief in my voice.

He spun and in seconds we were wrapped up together.

“Thank everything anyone believes in! I thought they got you too.” Jack said looking down slightly at me.

I swallowed at what that meant.

“Too? Who else did they get?” I asked fearing the answer.

Jack moved away from me leaning on the rail and shaking his head, I walked up to him and laid my hand on his shoulder.

“Jack?” I asked, concern in my voice.

“They got Crutchie alright! I was right there but I couldn’t get him! They beat him with his own crutch!” Jack exclaimed.

I took a shaky breath and hugged jack.

“We’ll figure out how to get him back. It’ll be ok.” I said trying to reassure him.

Jack shook his head looking up at the sky, he blamed himself any time anything happened to any of us, but he took things that happened to Crutchie particularly bad.

“He was real hurt, what if he doesn’t make it?” Jack asked softly.

I shook my head.

“You can’t think like that. He’s stronger than anyone knows. If anyone can survive that hell hole, he can.” I said firmly.

Jack didn’t look convinced, but I knew nothing I said would actually help him. We stood there for a while in silence, before Jack turned to look at me.

“Shouldn’t you be getting the kids?” he asked me.

I saw a moment of worry in his eyes, I smiled softly and shook my head.

“Ms. Medda said they could stay at the theatre for a few days while Ry gets better. I'll head over in a few minutes, unless you want me to go now.” I said voice gentle.

He shook his head.

“No, you don’t gotta go yet.” He said quietly.

I nodded and we stood there for a while longer, letting the sun set. I took a breath and turned to Jack hugging him again before moving towards the steps.

“I’ll see you tomorrow Jack.” I said softly.

He nodded and did his best to give me a smile, I knew he felt our injuries were his fault, and sadly I knew him well enough to know he wouldn’t be out there tomorrow. I walked quickly down the steps and stuck to the shadows, popping into the shops and getting something quick to eat for the kids, I ran to the theatre and inside. I quickly fed them, ignoring the questions about my cuts and bruises before giving Ry another dose of medicine and getting them ready for bed. The next morning, I woke up and got ready quickly letting the kids sleep in. I turned seeing Ms. Medda standing there, I had already tucked my hair up so I wasn’t worried.

“Thank you.” I said sincerely.

She shook her head and smiled softly.

“Of course, dear!” she said with a smile.

I ran out of the theatre and head towards Jacobs Deli hoping no one else had been caught. I slid to a stop in front of the door and pulled it open, seeing Katherine standing there with the guys I did a quick count and saw that besides Crutchie only Jack was missing. I quickly fell into a chair beside Les and Davey. Everyone looked to happy this morning, that’s when I saw the paper.

“We made the front page?” I asked softly.

Davey nodded bouncing slightly.

“Above the fold!” He exclaimed happily.

I let out a soft laugh, they couldn’t ignore us if we were in the papes!

“Ley, where’s Jack?” one of the boys asked and I looked up, seeing them all looking at me.

I looked away and everyone started talking.

“Shuddup wouldya!” I yelled standing up on my chair.

That go their attention.

“Jacks fine, Snyder missed him. But I ain’t gotta tell yous all how he is.” I said quickly.

The others nodded, except Les, Davey, and Katherine, who looked at me. I sat down in my chair.

“How is he?” Les the more outgoing brother asked.

I sighed and shook my head.

“I forget, yous two…. three sorry reporter girl…are new.” I said softly.

“It’s Katherine.” She said hands on her hips.

I waved my hand, waving off her words.

“Yeah, yeah. Jack takes all the bad stuffs that happens to us and blames himself. I saw 'em yesterday and he was bustin’ himself up over what happened to Crutchie. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was hiding out in Ms. Medda Larkin’s theatre.” I said sipping the water that had been put in front of me.

That’s all it took and the four of us were up, I paused at the door letting the others run ahead of me, I turned to the others.

“Get word to Spot Conlon! His cousins callin' in the favor 'e owes!” I shouted and darted from the building before they could question me.

The four of us ran into the theatre, and down the steps into the basement.

“There you are! How about letting a pal know you’re alive!” Davey called running down the steps to him.

Jack shook his head and kept working in the background. Katherine Les and I stayed back.

“Look! We made the paper! Front page, Above the fold! That’s right! Above the fold!” Davey said enthusiastically.

“Yeah that’s great.” Jack said.

“Is that Santa Fe? I have to say Jack this go west young man thing is getting old. You should paint something you know.” Katherine said and I slapped my forehead.

Jack froze for a second a dark look over taking him.

“You wanna see somethin I know?” Jack asked and his voice was low.

I didn’t want to see what he was going to do. He spun the background around and in almost photo realistic paint was the fight that had happened yesterday. I swallowed looking away.

“That’s what I know! That’s Newsie square, all of the kids gettin’ beat down for standin' up for themselves! I ain’t puttin’ them through that again!” He yelled, face contorted in a mix of anger and upset.

Davey tried to convince him to have hope.

“You know why a rattle snake rattles?” Davey asked walking up behind him.

“No, why?” Jack asked sarcasm clear.

“Cause he’s scared!” Davey said.

Jacked huffed and shook his head.

“Look it up! Why else would he have sent the goons!” Davey continued.

Jack started to slowly nod.

“Maybe your right!” Jack said finally.

“Thank the god!” Davey said.

I huffed a laugh at that, and we all started to plan a bit. Katherine had to leave and so Davey, Les and I stayed with Jack for a bit. Davey and Les started up the stairs a while later and I kept an eye on Jack knowing he was planning something.

“I'm fine.” He said as he kept working on the painting.

I nodded and pursed my lips.

“Ok, but bullshit.” I said letting my opinion be clear.

He let his head drop back and he laughed, turning to face me.

“I hate that you know me so well.” He said finally.

I crossed my arms and smirked.

“No, you don’t.” I said firmly.

He nodded and laughed, his own smirk on his face. We stood there staring at each other for a while. He finally set down his paint brush and refused to meet my eyes.

“I’m going to go invite Pulitzer to this rally maybe let 'em see who he’s messing with.” Jack said finally, still not looking at me.

I sucked in a breath and looked at him, his mind was made up. I nodded slowly, my arms dropping to my sides.

“Ok but what if it’s just us? Spot hasn’t said one way or another that he’s in this, and without him, without Brooklyn, you know damn well the others won’t come!” I exclaimed frustrated.

He nodded and looked up at me.

“I know, that’s why if they don’t come, I want you the kids Les and Davey outta here. Cause if the others don’t come, you know Snyder's going to find a way to get in here.” He said firmly.

I bit my lip and nodded.

“I don’t like it, Jacky.” I said quietly.

Jack sighed and dropped the cloth in his hand, walking over he wrapped his arms around me, we had always been close. I wrapped my own arms around his chest and tucked my head under his chin, we were alone I could do this without worry.

“I know, I don’t like it none too much neither, but if it’s the only chance we all got.” Jack said pulling back to look down at me.

I nodded and closed my eyes, letting my arms fall from him and he stepped back.

“Just be careful, Jacky. You got all of us here waiting for you, and reporter girl to impress.” I said softly with no lack of scorn buried in my tone when I said that.

Jack had picked up his brush to finish the backdrop but he paused at my words and tone. He turned back to face me, a smirk on his face.

“What, are you jealous?” Jack asked a teasing turn to his voice.

I felt my face flush and turned away a bit.

“Kaley?” Jack asked softly.

I bit my lip before looking up at him.

“Yes ok! Is that what you want to hear? I've liked you for a while now, can’t help it. Seein you pine after that reporter girl makes me realize…” I broke off and shook my head.

Jack was just watching me now, his eyes wide.

“Doesn’t matter, I gotta go get food for the kids.” I said turning and running up the steps.

I didn’t stop running until I was out of the theatre, ignoring Jack’s voice as he shouted my name. I ran to the shops and got food, paying quickly and walking back to the theatre. I paused at the corner seeing Jack just leaving, I waited until he was gone before I walked back into the theatre. I fed the kids and cuddled up with them giving Ry his medicine. When they were asleep, I sat up and crossed my arms over my legs.

‘Jack still hadn’t come back; I hope Snyder didn’t get him.’ I thought with a worried frown on my face.

I laid back and tugged my cap over my face to try and get some sleep. Early the next morning I woke up to chanting voices in the street. I stood up, tugging my cap on and looked out of the door, before yanking it open and rushing out.

“Spot!” I yelled.

He turned and grabbed me, his arms around me as he spun.

“Brooklyn’s here. We’ll win this thing yet!” He shouted.

That got mass acceptance and that’s when I realized, all of the paper boys from the entire city were here including our group. Davey walked up to me then.

“Where’s Jack?’ he asked quietly.

I swallowed and shrugged.

“I don’t know, we got into a fight after you guys left and I haven’t seen him since I went to get food.” I said softly.

Davey gave me a worried look and I knew my face mirrored it. Within a few hours all of the boys where gathered into the Theatre. I had given Ry his medicine and moved the kids into another part of the theatre incase anything happened. I stood by Les and Davey. I smiled as Spot took the stage and rallied the boys. And I actually breathed a sigh of relief when I saw Jack appear.

“He raised the price and we strike, so he lowers the price. And in a few weeks, he Jack’s them right back up, because let’s be honest, he will.” Jack said and I froze.

Everyone in the theatre erupted in anger at the same time, except me, I was still to shocked at what Jack had said. The others had already started to clear out about an hour later when I saw Jack and one of Pulitzers men. I saw the money the guy handed him and I shook my head.

“I thought they were worth more to you then a wad of cash, Jack.” I said disbelief and anger coating my tone.

He jumped at my voice and turned to me guiltily.

“Ley, I can explain.” He said looking at me worriedly.

I closed my eyes and turned to walk away, but something told me to hear him out.

“You have two minutes.” I said still not turning to face him.

I heard Jack let out a breath, in a sigh.

“He said I had to talk against the strike or he’d throw me back in.” Jack said quickly.

I didn’t have to ask, 'in where?’, we all knew where.

“The money, Jack.” I said firmly.

I heard a soft thump as if Jack had thrown the money down.

“It was part of his deal. He cleared my arrest record, including the warrants and gave me enough money to go wherever I wanted. I just didn’t want to go back in.” Jack said and I turned slightly.

I took a breath.

“Well you’re lucky it was me who saw that. But you have to fix this Jack, those boys don’t think you care.” I said my voice stronger than I thought was possible.

He watched me for a few seconds, taking a small step closer.

“What about you?” He asked.

I closed my eyes and shook my head, moving to the stairs.

“That balls in your court, Jack. Your decision and your move.” I said before disappearing to go take care of the kids.

I didn’t see Jack at all for the rest of the evening and laid down after giving Ry his medicine. I was shaken awake hours later, I sat up rubbing my eyes.

“W-wha?” I asked before my eyes cleared enough to see who was standing before me.

There I saw Les and a bit away I saw Davey, his eyes wide.

“Woah! You’re a girl!” Les exclaimed, and I shushed him.

I quickly pulled my vest on, making sure the kids didn’t wake up, before I tucked my hair up into my cap and stood shooing them into another area of the theatre.

“You’re a girl?” Davey, this time, asked shock coating his tone.

I rolled my eyes.

“Yeah, I am. You gots a problem with that, skinny boy?” I asked him quickly.

Davey put his hands up and stepped back.

“Jack needs us! Katherine and him planned somethin’! Come on!” Les said grabbing me and tugging me along.

I bit my lip and looked back towards where the kids were, before finally nodding

“Alright, let’s go.” I said and the boys led me outside and we ran through the streets before busting into Pulitzers basement.

“Woah.” I said quietly.

“You got enough people coverin' us?” Jack asked looking up at Davey.

Davey tilted his head and gave Jack a slightly unimpressed look.

“We could have a hoedown down here and no-one would know.” Davey said.

Jack smirked and nodded.

“Good let’s do this.” He said.

I walked down the steps and looked Jack in the eyes.

“What is this?” I asked looking at him, a smirk playing across my face.

He smirked back and looked towards the room; I turned my eyes widening at the printing press.

“You told me to fix it, this is how we’re fixing it.” Jack said softly.

I turned and nodded.

“We got work to do. I’ll get Spot on the line and get his group rallied, they’ll spread the word.” I said nodding already racing up the steps.

“Let’s do this!” Jack shouted again.

I ran out of the door and to the nearest payphone, using a trick I had learned a while ago I entered Spot’s number.

“Spot, rally the gang. We are going to make first light news.” I said quickly when he answered.

“You got it! Let’s go boys!” Spot called from the other side of the line.

I hung up and ran back down into the building, quickly helping bundle and stack the pages. Before long we had enough to blanket the city, and that’s exactly what we did. Hours later, saw everyone with one of our papes and Jack looked at me smirking.

“Time for Davey and me to make the final blow.” He said with a bright sparkle in his eyes.

He knew we won. I laughed and shook my head.

“Go, we’ll be there with you! RIGHT BOYS!” I yelled the last bit to a resounding agreement from everyone in the area.

Jack smiled at me before taking off, Davey right behind him. The next thing anyone knew we were all outside Pulitzers building looking up and blocking all of the streets, we saw Jack and Davey and Les managed to get away from us and ended up with them in Pulitzers office. The thing that did surprise us, with Governor Roosevelt was stood with them. Twenty minutes later and Davey Les and Jack came racing from the building.

“WE WON!” Jack shouted in such a manner I hadn’t seen on him in a while.

A bright cheer went up, it got louder when Governor Roosevelt announced that the Refuge was closed, Crutchie joining us again. All of us surging over to him, the best news was when Snyder the Spider was put in chains, Crutchie took great joy in whacking him with his crutch.

“Could be used for a weekly political comic, what do you say Theodore? Let Jack behind your back door?” Pulitzer was saying.

I looked over and saw Jack debating between staying and leaving for Santa Fe.

“What’s Santa Fe got that New York doesn’t? Tarantulas?” Davey asked walking over to Jack.

Katherine walked up to Jack then.

“Better yet, what does Santa Fe have, that New York doesn’t?” She asked him with a smile.

I turned and gave a smile to the guys walking through the crowd. We won today and tomorrow, I’d be back out selling papes to help my family, I felt a hand grab me and turn me.

“Ya know, you walk really fast when you wanna get away from somethin’.” Jack huffed out, still holding my hand.

I smiled weakly at him.

“We won, congrats.” I said softly.

He tilted his head for a second and sighed shaking his head.

“For a smart girl, who can hide in plain sight. You can be kinda dumb.” Jack said.

I huffed out a breath and closed my eyes.

“If you’re just going to insult me you can just …” I started before Jack interrupted me.

I would have smacked him if he hadn’t had his lips attached to mine. I froze for a second before my eyes fluttered shut and my arms wrapped around his neck. I lifted one hand placing it on the back of his hat, giving absolutely no fucks when I heard it and a similar thing hit the ground. I didn’t care when I felt my hair down my back. The only thing I cared about was Jacks one arm wrapped around my waist and the other around my shoulders as he tilted me.

“Jack where did you…. Oh!” We heard a voice from behind us and stood up slowly.

Jack pressed his forehead to mine, and didn’t look up.

“What is it Crutchie? Can’t ya see you’re interruptin’ somethin’?” Jack asked looking into my eyes.

I smiled softly at him, running my fingers through his hair.

“S-sorry!” Crutchie said and I heard him move away.

I smiled again, closing my eyes.

“So, what’s this about?” I asked still a bit breathless.

He laughed and held me closer, if that was possible.

“Well you did say that this particular ball was in my court right?” He asked turning it back to me.

I took a breath and stepped back, breaking his hold on me. I turned my back and crossed my arms in front of me.

“I…I just…I saw how she looked at you and I thought…” I said softly.

Jack laughed and I felt him wrap his arms around my waist, placing his head on my shoulder.

“Nah, she’s just a girl. A friend yes, but just a girl. You’re so much more than that.” He said gently swaying us.

He turned me around and looked down at me tilting my head up.

“My best friend. My partner. The only person I’d willingly get arrested for again. Beautiful. Witty. Wise. Bright as a whip. Caring. Loving. Kind. Do I need to keep going?” He said pressing a soft kiss to my lips each time he paused, before turning the ending into a question.

I was bright red as my arms wrapped around him.

“The kissing, yes please. The compliments…. only if you want to.” I said softly burying my head in his chest.

He laughed and I felt him kiss the top of my head.

“Oh finally!” we heard and turned again, seeing a small group of boys at the mouth of the alley we were stood in.

I raised an eyebrow.

“What?” I asked.

Most of them groaned and rolled their eyes.

“One, we’ve known yous was a girl for a while. We just didn’t care. And two, yous two dancin' around each other for years got old real quick.” Romeo said stepping forward.

Jack and I laughed and spun a bit, just then the paper alarm sounded. Together jack and I leaned down grabbing our hats and quickly got them back on our heads, my hair tucked back under it.

“Well, what are we waitin' for? We got papes to sell!” Jack shouted.

With that we headed back out and into the streets selling the papers. Jack did eventually accept Pulitzers offer of the cartoonist job and we eventually were able to afford a small apartment. It took a little bit but, everything worked out in the end. Including Jack and I.

“EXTRA, EXTRA OUR BOY JACKS OFF THE MARKET STEP ON UP YOU HEARD ABOUT IT HERE! READ ALL ABOUT IT!” if I had figured out who yelled that I probably would have cuffed him with the paper.

Instead I shook my head, holding Ry in my arms as he held up a paper, Jack doing the same with Bea.

“Get yer paper!” Ry called.

I smiled and patted his head gently; Bea made an echoing call and I saw Jack nod at her sales tactics. That’s how the next while went, until we saved enough to send them to school, then Jack took the cartooning job and I sold Papes. Taking over the pack for Jack. And that’s just how it went.

#newsies #Jack kelly #oc #davey jacobs #ocs

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