#i am always crying over this man
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I've been watching Hazbin Hotel in prime. Just watched episode 5 and I gotta ask
Why, oh, WHY DON'T I SEE MORE PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT "MORE THAN ANYTHING" WHEN TALKING ABOUT THE HAZBIN HOTEL MUSIC???
Like I get it, the song before it "Hell's Greatest Dad" Is a bop reminiscent of other music from the era its parodying. I loved it.
BUT why are you only putting clips of that song when this MASTERPIECE comes a few minutes after
I honestly don't even know where to begin with this song. The visuals are beautiful, especially when we get moments like this where you can just see the absolute LOVE this man has for her daughter is so sweet and Heartwarming I just-
The voices are fenomenal but what else can you expect from the broadway talents of Erika Henningsen and Jeremy Jordan.
There is also the whole Symbolism with passing the baton to the next generation and stuff. I- I can't even get into the specifics right now Im too emotional.
But above all else THE LYRICS
ESPECIALLY THAT LAST ONE
"I'M GRATEFUL YOU ARE MY DAUGHTER/FATHER MORE THAN ANYTHING"
DO YOU WANT ME TO CRY?? CAUSE I AM. I AM BAWLING MY EYES OUT RIGHT NOW.
It's just so fucking beautiful man. Probably the best song I will hear all year. Obviously my favorite from Hazbin.
#Call me Sir Pentious cause Im crying like a baby over here.#WHY HAVE YOU BEEN HIDING THIS GEM FROM ME. THIS ABSOLUTE DIAMOND#I didnt even mention lyrics like “I've been dying to find out who you are. looks like the apple doesnt fall far.”#“You are a part of who I am” “you are the only thing worth fighting for” that just BREAK ME#but oh well#BTW of course I was gonna watch and become obsessed with Hazbin Hotel. I am a theater kid that loves animation. It was like meant for me#could do with a little less obsenities but thats alright its a staple of the show#On another note I almost went insane when I found out lucifer was Jeremy Jordan.#Like its insane how that man always ends up in my obsessions. Newsies. Tangled the series. The Death Note Musical#(Im team L btw in death note but GOD Jeremy's singing made me reconsider for a milisecond in Where's the justice he is just THAT GOOD)#Erika I knew from the mean girls musical which I also deeply enjoy#its Insane the Talent this show brought in. my theater kid heart is ELATED#Last thing is I gotta say I LOVED Lucifer#Like I thought I was gonna hate him because everyone was talking about charlie's daddy issues#I thought he was gonna be neglectful and manipulative#BUT NO. He is a silly (little) father who just loves his daughter but doesnt know how to show it#And had DREAMS and AMBITION and fate in humanity. And he is just such a fun character to follow I had such a riot with this episode#Hazbin Hotel#charlie morningstar#lucifer morningstar#charlotte morningstar
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"Colin should have grovelled more!" "Penelope folded too easily"
I think statements like this typically come from people who like Penelope. . .but don't really understand her. And don't really understand just why she cares for Colin, and just why him groveling would not in any way bring her peace.
Penelope and Colin are kindred spirits in their loneliness, in season 3 more than any others. Penelope had lost her friendship with Eloise, and Colin didn't really have a close friend circle to begin with. Except with Pen. Pen was the person he could put the mask down for, could open up to, (in particular with their 'dreams' discussion) and that's why he couldn't even entertain the idea of giving up talking to her in Season 2. She is a vital part of his life, and holds so much significance and importance to him.
I imagine that's what made their silence over his travels especially painful for him. They spent such a long time talking after Season 1, and he even informs her that her letters were so encouraging, that it helped him heal something inside of himself. That if she could see him in a gentle way. . .so could he. (And he repays this, because he is honest to god out here acting and looking at her like she hung the moon in the sky). But without her presence in his life, he spiraled. Didn't feel confident in being who he is, and thus put on his persona more firmly. We know this because he wrote in his journal that "I want to be less needy, less insecure, while still maintaining the core of my vulnerability that makes me who I am". That he misses his family, that he misses home.
And we know, from the books, that Home? Home is Penelope. Penelope is his North Star, is his guiding force, and who I argue he feels he needs. In his very first scene, he looks toward her house, tries to find her in the window. When he does not, he returns to his family. In the outdoor gathering, he looks for her and finds her, eager to talk. He states aloud that he misses her, and I imagine he wrote it, too. Not hearing back from her over the course of his travels was surely something that hurt him, but he doesn't hold any ill will toward her for it, only wants to reconnect again. In fact, the one and only time he brings up how he misses her and that she didn't respond, she makes very clear the reason why: she heard what he said and it hurt her. And he's ashamed of it.
Colin hears her call him cruel, and instead of ruffling his feathers about it, instead of getting upset, instead of having a chip on his shoulder as I feel so many men would about it. . .he understands why she does so.
Penelope is a woman who has been largely treated poorly in her society. She feels unheard, she feels undesired, and in her circumstances, and I can't help but ask myself. . .has anyone ever truly apologized to Penelope for hurting her, before? Her mother? Her sisters? Eloise, likely, but. . .anyone else? And the way Colin did? Because of all the characters in the show, Colin? Colin knows how to apologize. He has a lot of practice in it. And very importantly: Colin, a man of privilege in his society, apologizes. . .predominately to women. To Marina, to his mother, and multiple times to Penelope.
Ultimately, Penelope wants to be heard, Penelope wants to be understood, Penelope wants to feel desired.
And Colin checks every single one of those boxes. He informs he is not who he was before, and then he proves it to her. He hears that he hurt her, and he comments on it directly. An entire night apart, and he comes back to her 'Because I embarrass you' with 'I am most certainly not ashamed of you', replies to her 'I am a laughingstock' with 'you are clever, and warm, and I am proud to call you my good friend'. He hears her proclaim her own insecurities, and empathizes so deeply with her. He listens. He understands. He makes clear that he cares for her, and that she *is* desired. 'You lift my spirits' 'I seek you out at every social assembly'. That she helps him see the world in ways he loves, that he sees HER and how much she has cared for HIM, that she makes him feel appreciated, that he appreciates her, in turn.
And then? Then? He shows her. He tells her, and he shows her. His actions all throughout Season 3 reinforce this apology. He continues looking for her in every corner of every ballroom, he continues complimenting her, he laughs at her jokes and respects her boundaries, he is ever so gentle with her, he listens to her with an attentiveness that no one else has ever given her. To Lady Whistledown? Sure. But to Penelope? Who else in the entirety of that ton has listened to Penelope the way Colin has?
Absolutely no one.
Penelope Featherington ghosts Colin Bridgerton for months with no explanation, and Colin comes back wanting to reach out to her, and she finally tells him why.
And he apologizes. Because he listens. Really, truly listens. And really truly cares.
I need you to understand how rare that is, even nowadays, but especially back then. That Colin is the kind of man who can put his hurt to the side and realize he made a mistake, that he said something callous, and he adores her, and he can't lose her, and he has to see her and make it right.
Because that's why Penelope fell for Colin. Not because he's beautiful, not for his charm, not for his family. But for his heart. Because he shows her kindness in a world that so often disregards her. Because he seeks her out and tries to understand her, truly hears what she has to say and compliments her, says he's sorry and looks at things from her perspective.
Because he saw her when she was invisible.
Penelope Featherington, who grew up in a house that made cruel jabs at her, has Colin Bridgerton come to her and say he regrets what he said, and that he was wrong, and that he understands why she's mad at him. Penelope Featherington who has so rarely had much of anyone tell her that they're sorry for what they said about her, sits before Colin Bridgerton as he professes how much she means to him. That he cannot even spend a full day away from her knowing they're on bad terms with each other without making it right. That he sees how she is hurting and he has to in any way he can amend it. She is lonely, with no one really in her corner at the start of season 3, and she feels like she lost it all, and Colin comes to her and says 'no, I'm here and I appreciate you and you are special to me, please let me in and let me prove it'. Is it any wonder why after she shakes his hand, she stands in the sun, and she feels the warmth of it, she can smile? That she can breathe, again? That she can be truly content for the first time in the season?
Because Penelope Featherington does not want Colin to beg. She knows him. She knows the tender, full heart he hides behind the new cavalier persona. She knows the soft underbelly of Colin Bridgerton.
He never had to grovel. All he had to do was love her. Assuredly. Fervently. Loudly. Unapologetically.
And he does.
#polin#penelope featherington#colin bridgerton#bridgerton#sorry y'all i just have a lot of feelings and i need to get them out like they invented love what am i meant to do witH THAT INFORMATION!?#they just care about each other so much and so deeply#and they see the best in each other#penelope was hurt but she never HATED him#penelope was hurt and when she said 'i never thought you of all people could be so cruel' she also knew. . .he isn't#he isn't cruel#he's a young man trying his best in the world and he wanted to fit in and that made him say something hurtful about her#but he has a history of uplifting her#and he continues to do so#not one bad word about penelope all this season#'you are penelope featherington. . .never forget that' (you deserve the world) (you are amazing)#colin bridgerton said 'i love you' over and over this season and in the seasons before but we didn't hear it because we thought#it was only professed in one language#'you really are very good you know that?' 'you only wanted to keep me from heartache' 'what could possibly measure up to all that?'#'that you would never forsake me' 'you are pen. . .you are my friend. . .you do not count' (i could never give you up)#'i will always look after you penelope'#they are friends to lovers but there is love in that friendship#a deep beautiful love they have with each other#and sorry i'm ugly crying but i just adore them
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remember when you hit the brakes too soon! twenty stitches in a hospital room! when you started crying baby I did too! but when the sun came up I was looking at you!
#remember when we couldn’t take the heat#I walked out said I’m setting you free#but the monsters turned out to be! just! trees!#when the sun came up you were looking at me!!!!#oh you were looking at me#😭♥️😭😭😭😭😭#do you ever think about how moments of connection in Taylor songs is so rare#just. that moment when the beloved is looking back AT her —it almost never happens#and when it does she’s so quick to write it down and hold on to it forever#locked in her steel-trap memory#you almost ran the red cause you were looking over at me#I am always thinking about Ann Powers saying that a Taylor song is just Taylor alone with a man creating the world of the Moment#whatever it is#and most of the time it’s profoundly lonely#the thing Taylor does NOT have (I believe) are friendships that go to the core#that are personal and individual —where she is Seen and Loved#and so she’s still looking for it in romance and mostly not finding it 😭#but man there is something so poignant about Taylor writing from and filling in the silences of a space so many women find themselves in#alone with a man who won’t look at them#I have never been there and venture to predict I never will be#but Taylor has lived most of her adult life there#and then the other half doing the work of transcribing it#shakes me to my CORE#anyways to circle back for a second—out of the woods HAS the moment of connection#and it feels as raw and vulnerable and simple as it probably was#like. for a second we really are just in the hospital room with them#when she says—when you started crying baby I did too I can SEE her just standing there#all nearly 6 feet of her probably in her little ski outfit tears streaming down her face!#but it’s still a point of connection because he’s looking back at her in that moment#I have made myself cry
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you wanna know what??
I am
TIRED
of overmasculinized werewolves!!!!
I WANNA SEE A
WEREWOLF
WALKING AROUND IN A CVNTY LITTLE OUTFIT!!! WALKING THE STREETS!!!! DISEMBOWELING CREATURES!!!!
I WANNA SEE WEREWOLVES COVERED IN BLOOD AND GORE WHILE WEARING A SHORT SKIRT AND CROPTOP WITH HELLO KITTY ON IT!!!!
I WANNA SEE A WEREWOLF WALKING AROUND IN COTTAGE AND FAIRY AND PRINCESS CORE OUTFITS!!!!!! WITH A DEAD MANGLED RABBIT IN ITS MOUTH!!!!
AND MAKE THE WEREWOLF
D I S G U S T I N G ! ! !
#i am TIRED of seeing all these manly man werewolves that are all copy and paste white boys#I am TIRED of seeing all these woman werewolves being butch and masculine(also mostly white) or submissive!!!#I WANNA SEE SOME PLUS-SIZE WEREWOLVES I WANNA SEE SOME BLACK ASIAN LATINO MIDDLE EASTERN NON WHITE WEREWOLVES!!!!! THAT ARNT F3TIZIED!!!!!#I WANNA SEE A G I R L WEREWOLF THATS INTO “G I R L Y” THINGS!!!!! LET THE WEREWOLF BE A SLVT!!!!!#LET THE WEREWOLF BE IN THE TRADITIONAL CLOTHING OF ITS CULTURE!!!!#AND RIP AND TEAR AND MAUL AND CRY IN THE MORNING AFTER DOING ALL OF IT!!!! RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#no but fr can we werewolf fans like. actually sit down and reflect on the inherent misogyny of werewolves??? ESPECIALLY IN MEDIA#like. almost EVERY. SINGLE. WEREWOLF. in movies and shows and stuff are always a buff white man with anger and trust issues#and on the rare occasion that there *is* a woman werewolf shes always either over masculine or “weaker” than the “stronger alpha male” were#olf and only seen as a mate. AND shes always “calmer” and “maternal” and “calms the alpha male down🥺🥺”.AND she never has an actually good#werewolf form its always either wolf tail and ears or full wolf. or if it *is* actually a decent werewolf her transformation is offscreen.#like whyyyyyyyyyyyyy are people so scared to make women go ape shit?????? werewolves are NOT pretty creatures!!!! STOP MAKING THEM PRETTY!!#(lmao jk we know why they're so scared hashtag male gaze)#like yes. werewolves ARE pretty but not in the “dog show 30k$ poodle” kind of way i see some people making them(not that that's bad tho)#AND ALSO LIKE. ARE WE JUST GOING TO PRETEND WEREWOLVES LITERALLY WEREN'T MADE FOR WOMEN AND MINORITIES???#like. once a month someone turns into a raging bloodthirsty unstoppable beast driven by the moon and instincts with an insatiable hunger an#need to hide away from people due to them wanting to kill you or fearing you simply because you're a werewolf. they don't know you. they ju#t see you as a creature that might hurt them. constantly being hunted down to be killed simply for existing.#WHAT PART OF THAT SCREAMS: “ah yes. White man.”#IK theres going be people(men and pick mes) that see this post and think “this bitch is overreacting” and tbh idc.the girls who get it get#the girls who dont dont.#anyways shout out to Ginger Snaps trick or treat and every other piece of media or fan piece with disgusting non-f3tiszied woman/poc werewo#i love yall#*smooch smooch*#Werewolves#Werewolf#Lycanthrope#Lycanthropy#Werewolf AU#Yeah. Im tagging that too. I see yall.
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back in the writing pit,,, chapter 8 its on like donkey kong
#sophie speaks#i work slow as a dog and thats okay#also finally a molly chapter yayyyy!!!!!#i miss my girl :'(#its still gonna be awkward as it always is in www but like. mollys a smart person and a good friend and she can tell somethings up#and even if she is upset 'you' ghosted her for years... shes still gonna help you#i love friends like that tbh#ones who get that shits hard sometimes and will be ready for you when you come out on the other side#yes i am going to cry over her but like#theyre so important to me man
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You must sever the connection hinge. Now!
Not until you’re up here!
#thebadbatchedit#swedit#tbbedit#the bad batch#sw tbb#the bad batch spoilers#mygifs#this is literally just for me#the animated star wars content is always soooooo mf GOOD#LIKE WHY AM I CRYING OVER A MAN WITH THIS WORST HAIRLINE IVE EVER SEEN#DAVE WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS#IVE CRIED OVER LIKE 11 GUYS WITH THE SAME FACE#i really wasnt expecting him to go out like this..... king i'll never forget you#tech#wrecker#omega#sw#tbb
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actually as much as i love mike and harvey together. i feel so sad for rachel zane because imagine falling in love with your coworker and then you learn that your coworker is a fake lawyer but not only that, your coworker is a fake lawyer who would literally do anything for his boss. he'll literally leave you at the altar to go to prison for his boss. he'll try to quit his job multiple times but keep coming back because his boss asked him to come back. he'll move to seattle with you, and you'll breathe a sigh of relief because it means that it can finally just be the two of you, but then you learn that he's inviting his stupid former boss to join them. and his stupid former boss agrees. you smile because your husband is so stupid happy at the idea of working with his former boss again, but you've seen this film one too many times before, and you are going to be subject to watching your husband choose his stupid former boss-slash-friend over you again and again and again and again and again and ag
#caroline talks#suits#LIKE? ? ??? rachel zane babes i love u but i hope you've divorced mike ross by now <333#like i'm so sorry girlie!!! your husband loves u i'm sure but also he's been playing stupid chicken with this guy he's been in love with#for YEARS NOW!!!!#it's also like. uh. you KNOW that harvey wouldn't do anything with mike while mike's married to rachel because of ALL THAT BAGGAGE HE HAS--#and i don't think mike would ever do anything to harvey because HE knows how much baggage harvey has#like. in my head. yeah they're all living together in seattle and rachel's just like ':/// i need to divorce this man bc we could move to#literally antarctica and mike would still find a way to drag harvey along.#and the crazy thing is that harvey would probably FOLLOW HIM.'#like. the way i'm not even exaggerating what happens in the show too?? ? ?#like we have literal scenes of rachel crying and begging mike to just LET HARVEY GO#and to just CHOOSE HER#and mike is always just like '!!! HOW DARE YOU TELL ME TO GIVE UP ON HARVEY'#and it's like. ilysm mike u crazy silly man <333 but also like. i think it's fairly reasonable of the woman you're marrying#to ask you to choose her over your boss slash buddy. y'know?#like. it's not even like rachel and mike are a cute simple girlfriend-boyfriend.#they are literally ENGAGED and they are literally supposed to START A LIFE TOGETHER--#and mike is still going ':((( i can't leave harvey behind' like actually rachel babe i am SO SORRY
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How I imagine myself (aka want to be)
Vent in the tags (sorry in advance)
#Honestly almost cried while sketching this#I feel so stupid#Like why did I agree to wait until i'm 25 to transition#Oh wait I know#Because I love my parents to much and they only really support me if I a) am 25 or b) my mental health is really really bad#Also it's that part of my mind that's doubting everything. That it's just a phase. That i'm not actually transmasc#Also the psychologist I used to go to supported the idea to wait till 25 and was talking about some whos she knew#And how that girl wanted to be a boy but she got a boyfriend and she didn't want to anymore#Or that boy who wanted to be a girl but later found his identity and was secure in his agab#And she kept saying/asking; “Would you be able to accept to be just a manly woman??” And similar questions#And I know it's stupid but because of it I just keep questioning myself over and over#Because now i'm especially scared it's something I grow out off#But I just want to look in a mirror and be happy#And while I do like my clothing. I want other stuff but I feel goddam dysphoric in that#Only things I can change about me is piercings and my hair but even that is something my parents aren't really keen of#Atleast the length is something they are okay with but if it's kinda more a “”man's style“” and I hear only “oh my god it's so manly"#Honestly I just hate that i'm to scared to do anything about it#All the while I suffer#cause I just cant get out of the house without a binder. Always checking how my profile looks like. Crying when its not how I want it to be#Or almost crying when my mom says “that size is better for a girl like you because other wise it looks boyish” even when I confided in her#transmasc#transgender#trans artwork#Trans#Artists on tumbr#Lgbt#my art <3#my own post
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ftr don't even get me started on my negative feelings ab the always sunny at abbot elm crossover. but suffice it to say
a) wow! that is VERY ableist towards charlie!! & honestly xenophobic or something. he DOES know how to read & write: just gaelic. speaking & reading english specifically is not the only measure of intelligence or literacy. he also is repeatedly protesting as they're forcing him into literacy intervention & infantalizing him. They say he's 'just illiterate' when he is also CANONICALLY DYSLEXIC IN ENGLISH. this 'just illiterate' is treated as a moral failing and something that must be forcibly fixed despite the grown man's protest. they treat him like a baby. they literally dress him up & parade him in front of all those children as inspiration porn. They also pretend like he could just 'learn to read' in a week & they basically just teach him to sight read from memorization this one book. it's gross. (i suspect if the always sunny gang are doing this right they actually DIDN'T have charlie fully learn to read english, he was just pretending through sight reading to get left alone or something. that's why he reads 'ghost' instead of 'guest' in the last scene.)
b) quinta brunson is literally telling people not to watch always sunny & at that point i really have to ask: why tf did you agree to do this project if you hate the other half of the equation and from what i can tell from your late night interviews didn't even watch it til you'd started producing the cross over. & for the always sunny gang. you guys didn't like. check to make sure she actually liked & wanted to participate in your content before you dedicated a full episode of an 8 ep season to a crossover? it feels like neither group respects the time of their crews or fans if so. as someone who has literally worked on tv production sets if the creator/producer/cowriter from a full one half of a production i worked on told everyone not to watch the production i worked on to literally "not to even turn it on" i'd be soooo pissed. i'd never forgive that person. not even a 'ik the crew put a lot of work into it but always sunny has some pretty dark themes so it might not be for all my viewers.' literally "i tell them not to even turn it on." WHY DID YOU WORK WITH THEM? WHY DID YOU TIE YOUR BABY TO THEM? DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW CROSSOVERS WORK? WHY WOULD YOU CROSSOVER WITH SOMETHING YOU DONT WANT PEOPLE WATCHING FROM WHAT I SUSPECT IS MORAL OUTRAGE AT ALWAYS SUNNY'S CONTENT. (not that i think it would be unfair or incorrect or anything to fucking hate alway sunny & all that it's done considering it's history with black people. but then why would you work with them??)
c) tangiential to the other two: if you don't like always sunny ofc ur not gonna b familiar enuf w/ the characters to know charlie DOES read, just not in english. & if you take these meanspirited basically cartoon characters & put them in your more realistic & grounded world & then have them be 'basically just white people' in your more realistic & grounded world, who don't really get called out or punished for their bad behavior (as is the whole thing on always sunny,) YOUR characters are gonna come across more as meanspirited assholes.
#apparently im the only person in the world besides my wife who didn't like it tho...#came on the dash to see a million clips & vids infantalizing charlie & talking about how they'd “fixed” his character who IS NOT BROKEN!#fruitpost#always sunny#charlie always sunny#ableism#like. literally just say you view illiteracy as a moral failing#of all the characters to be 'fixed' or 'resolved'#& of ALL THE THINGS to pick about that character to 'fix' or 'resolve' they literally went with the most ableist of them all.#and yet. people are cheering & crying 'endearing' over a scene#that literally triggered my wife who was forced into literacy intervention repeatedly#tbc: none of this is a judgement on abbot elm overall. just this one episode.#i am absolutely willing to believe that outside of the context of the always sunny gang they abbot elm crew doesn't come across so callous#& ableist#& part of those feelings probably comes from brunsons notable dislike for always sunny#just makes me feel like. if this is how they treat this grown man. how are they treating these kids.#even if IN THE SHOW the adults have never been ableist to the kids i now have to think 'well. in the right context they would be.'
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missing lotg (and Leo<3), I hope everything is okay with you!!!
Hello! It’s always missing LOTG hours, isn’t it 😔
I’m doing okay! I’m very busy though. My new job, which I started in February, is absolutely incredible. I love what I do now and it’s going to be a great career, but I’m still very new and the schedule is hectic. It’s also very draining! The hours are very long and I don’t have much time to myself. I miss writing so much, and I miss the community even more, but I can’t promise a game update anytime soon.
That being said, I’m always thinking about TLOTG even if I can’t write much for it right now. It’s not a dead project! It’s just hibernating. Anyone that has been around for a while knows that I’m in for the long haul and updates aren’t often. I love the little check-ins you guys send me, it’s so relieving to see that people love this project as much as I do even with so little content at the moment.
So thank you all, it’s nice to chat! Asks are always welcome, I read and appreciate them all. ❤
#ask#update#me with a real job: man this sucks. what the fuck.#where's my daily twelve hours of dicking around time#but it'll get better in a few months. maybe like two years. but it will!#and i am determined to make you all cry with me over the plot so i will be finishing this damn story 😌#also i HAVE to write ro kisses its the only thing keeping me sane#and of course.... the Chaos.#but yeah you guys can always send asks and nudge me. ily all.
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houses head wilsons heart crushed me wtf doctors...
#this isnt supposed to happen bro i watched this show as a joke#because of tiktok because i love robert sean leonard#why am i bawling because of this man bro its always robert sean leonard media#ive only cried for neil perry and james wilson wtf man#i didnt even like amber i didnt hate her but my fave was mormon cole i wanted him to wij#i knew 13 would get the spot cuz ive heard her name before from tumblrinas i knew forman had a spot#i thought there was 1 spot left and i wanted cole#i didnt hate amber she chased what she wanted i respect it#her death was sad like her pills killed her ya but oh gee wilson im#AND THEN I WATCH FUCKING S5E1 WILSON LEAVES?? “i dont think we ever were friends” OH MY#im not supposed to be crying over this fuckass show what the fuck#ive binged 4 seasons#in 1 week#i hate middle aged gay white men what the hell this isnt allowed in my pride month#and i already know how the series ends like i have moots who reblog stuff here and there so i have a bit of knowledge#KUTNER DIES?? I LOVE HIM I HAVENT EVEN WATCHED S5E2 HE CANT DIE#and 13 has a disease thats gonna kill her. taub gets on my nerves. wilson gets cancer and house fakes his death#i know all of that but what do you mean kutner dies. that's not even fair#its always the men of color in this show i dont even know if i wanna finish it (i will by the end of the month)#l speaks#shut up l#house md#hatecrimes md#spooky liveblogs (kind of)
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First day back at the university and I still suck at this exactly as much as I did 4 years ago
#i wish doing something over and over actually made it easier from then on#how come i've done this so many times and i'm still as horrified by the prospect of group projects and exams and all as in the very start#can they invent a higher education that doesn't require you to prepare a group project for every damn subject that exists#can they also invent an intercating with people#in a way that doesn't leave me feeling like the only person on earth who somehow doesn't get it#how do people just start talking and becoming friends :( it's literally impossible for me#it's such a mystery. how the hell do they all do this. what's your fucking secret !!!!!!!!!#not that i expected to become friends with anyone in one day#but one day was already enough for me to start feeling as alienated and othered from everyone else as i've always felt#like god it's always the same damn thing. each year i hope it'll be different and it's still the fucking same#i try to appear nice and approachable and chime in to the conversation whenever i can (just like i've been doing for the past 4 years)#but i guess there must just be something deeply wrong with me that makes everyone avoid me in the end anyway#am i really that unfriendable. can anyone tell me what i'm doing wrong#and why no one is interested in holding a conversation with me for more than 5 minutes in total#it's literally back to the same thing that i've done over and over before and i truly don't see any point in any of this anymore#it's just so ridiculous 😭😭😭 why do i even keep trying at this point#back to school so back to crying alone in my room every evening i guess#how beautiful how poetic. i almost forgot this was the daily standard for the entire past year#never getting out of this ok i get it :))#friendship was meant to be for everyone but me i get it now!!!#worst year ever everything bad is happening. going to my first funeral on thursday i'm definitely going to take that well hahaha#it's been only a day and i'm already so done. ok.#i'm freaking out man what am i even supposed to be doing anymore. it's all pointless
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man i love the people im surrounded with. how did this happen. youre all so lovely😭
#istg tumblr is the BEST place to find people#all my current online friends who im close asf with are people i found on here#my girl my besties hell even some of my mutuals i dont talk to bruh#almost all of em were found on here#who knew life would turn like this bro. who knew#its grateful hours rn stfu idc#like yall. i cannot put into words how much you mean to me#im finally getting out of a mental rut thats lasted me a few months (school related) (school just ended)#and the fact YALL STAYED BY ME???#its small nd yall r gonna be like dub miguel. friends do that#but i aint never had that#like the past three years around this same time i have lost people important to me and lost core support systems over and over and over#and it feels nice that im better enough/healed enough#and surrounded by people who truly care for me#that thats not the case anymore. its so liberating and god does it make me want to cry tears of gratefulness that this is my life now#i am loved in so many ways that i cannot even recount right now.#sorry maternity classes gang (group chat) im gonna lovedump later on you tonight probably#man. mann.#this is my life#like#/pos#thats so lovely man.#wanna namedrop yall so bad bc people deserve to know you all and deserve to know how beautiful and loving you are#but ik i shouldnt for privacy😭#ily all tho#even if we aint talk much ur presence is always appreciated by me#sorry sorry ill shut up now😭#indigo speaks#yapping
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does anyone else here have parents that behave as if they never aged out of Kindergarden?
#cause why are they fighting over fucking stuff like scissors for nails or chairs#“he sits on my chair” you are a 50 year old woman#“i didn't touch the scissors” says the man child crying#as if he isn't fucking 57 years old#like and why am I then the one getting all the shit#as a kid i used to have to shush my mom cause my dad screams at us always and when we just sat there in silence nothing would happen#turns out my mom is mad as fuck about child me reacting to abuse and told me she hates that i shushed her like I am sorry💀#“my child is fine” your child would lie in bed in complete silence unable to even cry listening to you scream obscenities at each other lol#anyways#rant post#just this#parenting#or stuff like that#mental abuse#trigger warning abuse#???#is it???#man child#father#mother#like act your age shaking my head#risky post#/j#or am I
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legit crying about that goal for Geno
#pens lb#something something Sid and Geno forever#a man who is always looked over in favor of Sid#and he's hit so many milestones already this season#and he fights so hard for our guys#fuck I am crying I love these men
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Sexy bitches cry over Order 66 at least twice a day.
or maybe i am just mentally ill
#help#maybe it's both#it's not funny at this point#i can be going about my day completely normal and then my brain will go#“hey remember order 66?”#and it'll take me out for like five to ten minutes#then it's back to being normal again#i hate scrolling through pintrest man#one minute i've got these beautiful pictures and fanart of the clones#the next i am utterly devastated and crying on the floor#should i be concerned?#maybe#i'm going to put a sign by my desk or bed that's like “days since last cried over clones”#and it's always going to be at fucking 0#anyways#tcw#the clone wars#clones on the brain#order 66
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