#IVE CRIED OVER LIKE 11 GUYS WITH THE SAME FACE

[jamieleecvrtis]

You must sever the connection hinge. Now!

Not until you’re up here!

[papirouge]

Papi, sorry but I do think the Karen meme has gone too far...

I was literally just reading about this case about a "Karen" who tried to steal a bike from a group of young black men. She even cried at some points while trying to hold onto the bike, saying she was scared for her fetus. Everyone in the comments on YouTube, Reddit, etc. were calling her an entitled Karen, said she was weaponizing her tears, calling her mysogynistic things and made fun of the fetus comment. They doxxed her, sent her death threats, got her fired from her job and left horrible reviews on her husbands business.

Turns out later when more info came out that it was in fact the black teens that were robing her bike, and when she refused to give it, they decided to film her to paint her on social media as a racist and a robber. She is also six months pregnant, and came from a 12 hours long shift, thus probably why she was so emotional when she confronted them.

But everyone was eager for another racist Karen being shamed and ridiculed. And this is the thing: many people literally use the Karen thing as a excuse for being mysogynistic. There were comments by men saying how women, no matter the race, weaponize their tears against men all the time, even in court, and how men never did it because nobody cares about men. There were talks about female privilege, and how too many women grew up entitled and never being told 'no'. There were others making fun of the fetus comment, how she cared too much about a 'clump of cells' or an unborn fetus. A man who stated he was overweight even said he was going to start telling people he was pregnant as a way to get out of bad situations like women do, with many upvotes.

Like, i'm not saying there shouldn't be a term for racist white women, but why a name?? There are many nice women named Karen, hell, i know a black one whos so kind and smart yet she feels embarrassed by it nowadays.

Anyways, it scares me a little how much some men hate women. Like, this made me find out about a story where an 11 year old little girl was punched in the face by a grown man after she pushed him. Everyone on Reddit was defending the man, saying how she deserved it because she pushed him first,making jokes about "pussy pass denied" and calling her a bitch. Turns out the man actually had harrassed her first, and only uploaded the video from the part she pushed him (out of self defence). But everyone was celebrating, because apparently a lot of Reddit men love videos were women (and girls) are beaten?

Anyways, one thing I find weird is how a lot of black women cape for black men. I saw some on the comments of the first case, a black lady talking about how the white woman was weaponizing her tears and all, framing innocent black boys, and then when confronted with the truth, she just defended herself saying she was scared for her little brother and thats why she jumped to conclusions. But ive never seen black men care much for black women, in fact, i see them criticizing black women a lot and blaming them for the failings of the black community.

I mean, when the Meghan Thee Stallion case was going on, I saw both black men AND women defend the guy that shot her, and how she shouldn't let a brother go to jail. But black men never have the same energy for black women.

I'm not gonna pretend like the men from my racial group aren't super sexist, they are, but at least they do defend 'their women'.

Well, sorry for the wall of text and for being all over the place, could be the fucking autismo.

What you really need to understand anon, is that there's a difference between the viral Karen meme, and crusty scrote who jumped on the last bandwagon and started using it left and right for the worst.

(White people did the exact same with "woke" btw).

My problem is Whitefem and their mule acting like they were one and the same and that the OG Karen meme at the same mean spirited/misogynist intent as the second wave.. i HATE how Whitefem want to control the narrative and pretend knowing better than the actual people who made Karen viral what it truly meant. By brushing the whole karen meme as misogynist/racist they conveniently swipe under the rug the VALID criticism of the (Black) community that made that meme viral in the first place. This maliciousness hidden behind fake empathy is what disgusts me the most. White women will NEVER accept accountability. Never. Look at them girl bossify literal serial killer, murderers and abusers just because they're White women (interestingly you never see them doing so for non White female criminals 🤔). And when they do evil shit, oh it's their bIoLogY or "reactive vIolEncE"..... BYE

Look at yourself, anon. You bring this story of that poor women unfairly treated....but could you reflect WHY you'd never have the energy to remind "anti Karen Whitefem" stories of Black people who got as much unfairly treated on their shitty "anti Karen" think piece?? How unfair it is to lump legitimately frustrated people of color to misogynist scrotes just bc they vented against a manipulative White woman? Why would White women facing injustice somehow override the plentiful of other people who's only crlme is giving a funny nickname to racist White women? Why would the collectivity of people who experienced the direct threat of racist White women appease the handful of cranky White women by policing their own slang? Think about that.

Tell the scrote to shut up about Karen as much as you want, but leave those who knew how to use it with actual purpose alone. Men will always find ways/words to mock and abuse women. Karen is just a tool for them. Acting like the medium was the problem is ridiculous.

Like, i'm not saying there shouldn't be a term for racist white women, but why a name?? There are many nice women named Karen, hell, i know a black one whos so kind and smart yet she feels embarrassed by it nowadays.

Why not? Black women being named "Karen" are definitely a thing but interestingly, those aren't the one whining crying throwing up about how aKtcHualLy the Karen meme is misogynist and that "I'm the biggest victim" self-pity party

Anyways, one thing I find weird is how a lot of black women cape for black men. I saw some on the comments of the first case, a black lady talking about how the white woman was weaponizing her tears and all, framing innocent black boys, and then when confronted with the truth, she just defended herself saying she was scared for her little brother and thats why she jumped to conclusions. But ive never seen black men care much for black women, in fact, i see them criticizing black women a lot and blaming them for the failings of the black community.

One should never side that hard against anyone over a viral video. But could we stop acting like White women weren't out there siding with their racist male counterpart everyday ? I lost count of all the white women simping haaaard for White men exposed for killing Black men. But since you see Black women closer to "masculinity", you point that out only for us 🙃

I mean, when the Meghan Thee Stallion case was going on, I saw both black men AND women defend the guy that shot her, and how she shouldn't let a brother go to jail. But black men never have the same energy for black women.

I'm not gonna pretend like the men from my racial group aren't super sexist, they are, but at least they do defend 'their women'.

That's totally true. Black men are fucked up. I will never try to find them excuses, but no other race had to bear with centuries of slavery and colonization where the only come up was elevating or being related to whiteness. It entirely reverted the male/female dynamics in the Black community, where men, instead of providing for women, started to seek to elevate themselves with the closest thing they had to whiteness = white women. Average Black men are fundamentally hypergamist and "female" in their behavior.

Black women naturally still cling to 'their' men but it's hardly reciprocated. Hence the frustration of many Black women of feeling rejected by their own. Their equivalent on the dating pool are Asian men. Issa Rae was right in saying they should date each other lmao but this statement made Black men freak out bc they still claim ownership over Black women (while still saying we're ugly undesirable etc). That's highkey fucked up, but so are most Black men, that's why smart Black women are open to interracial dating 💁🏾‍♀️

There's no one to defend Black women. BLM was a pro Black man movement, that's why I lowkey didn't give a shit about it. I'm pro black women and Black women can only count on themselves. Fake intersectional White feminist shown their butt big time with their tantrum about the Karen meme, and most Black men are dusties.

[teeth-and-tea]

ANIME & MANGA I HAVE BINGED IN THE LAST MONTH: May 2021

I've Been Hunting Slimes for the Past 300 Years and Now Ive Maxed Out My Level: incredibly long name aside, cute af slice of life that suffers Same Face Syndrome. I'm still happy to watch it because of how feel good and fluffy it is though, Im probably gonna forget about it in two or three years tho. 8/10.

Don't Toy With Me, Miss Nagatoro: I found out this was a webcomic first and suddenly all the HORNINESS made so much more sense. A Femdom, Degradation, Humiliation, Dacryphilia Bullies to Lovers story disguised as a high school rom-com which, I'm not going to lie, misses SKEEVY CITY by mere inches on a regular basis. However, I'm a Dom/Switch and this entire relationship sets off my dom brain center like New York City just shy of midnight. So if you're into that sort of scene, this anime is for you. If not, it's still fascinating but you're probably gonna be a little put off by how mean the Girl!Bully is to the guy MC. Unless you find out something about yourself, in which case, congrats! Stay safe, sane, consensual, and learn about the traffic light system on top of safe words, I promise you'll have a better life in general after that. Still Ongoing, currently 10/10.

Fruits Basket: IM GONNA CRY I LOVE THIS ANIME SO MUCH???? The original anime came out when I was in... I think middle school and my parents were really strict on what I watched so I never got to experience the first wave and I never bothered to watch the show ever after I moved out of the house years later. However, now that I'm much older I honestly can say this is one of my favorite anime to date, and all the characters are charming, lovable, with their own problems that I can connect to or sympathize with, and I love the MC which is always a treat tbh. Except Akito. Akito can suck a sandpaper dick. I'm only on S2 tho so no spoilers! Anime 11/10.

Monster Girl Doctor: went in thinking it was gonna be a monster girl who's a doctor with a homoerotic assistant (her name is SAPPHY okay sue me for thinking it) and ended up watching the entire dubbed harem series. Honestly, I've seen worse and this one has consistent follow-through on interesting characters and backstory enough for me to shove aside the blatant under-monstrousness of the female monsters and the harem-ness of everything else. Dubbing is honestly really good, which is a treat, and the monster designs are not the worst and the MC is tolerable. Honestly, I don't mind having watched it! The mix of cgi and the traditional animation together work pretty strangely though, and it often doesn't flow super well. 7.5/10

So I'm a Spider, So What: Dubbed version which honestly isn't that bad. Took me a bit to get into it, but after realizing that it's got a mismatched timeline a la The Witcher, it made so much more sense. Heavily done in cgi, and you can definitely tell between the 2D and 3D animations, but not the worst in the world. I went in not expecting much but it ended up being an Issekai I can stand and even enjoy. On god has a decent story... with the spider. I'd be a liar if I didnt say I skipped some of the human parts just to get back to the best part of the show. 8/10.

Somali and the Forest Spirit: I'm so fucking nostalgic for this thing it makes me want to go and hug my dad. About a human girl under threat of being eaten with a monster-dominated world. Very obvious "humans fear what they don't understand" message but instead of the humans learning tolerance it's what happens when they get annihilated first so like, kudos for the mangaka for having the guts to do that. I cried like a baby regularly. It's really good, I watched the dub and ID WATCH IT AGAIN!!! 9/10.

To Your Eternity: Oh my god. O h my g o d. Fell in love on the first episode, ngl. About if an immortal being learned how to be a person from scratch. I love it. HOWEVER. Keep a box of tissues on you at all times because you're gonna need them. I'm only on EP7 because that's all that's out right now but just know. I love it. Not for everyone but certainly for my "what do we define as human and the human condition" ass. 12/10.

Those Snow White Notes: A sports anime without any sports. About shamisen playing which is cool because I never realized how cool this instrument was??? Its neat af. OP1&2 are by Burnout Syndrom so know theyre fire. Gonna be real, its pretty alright, but not extraordinary. You can tell they were using the characters as archetypes rather than actually characters which kinda kills a lot of the emotional value you could've had, but I'm still gonna watch it. It doesn't make me cringe as hard as other sports anime tho so I consider it toptier in that regards but if you're a big sports anime fan you might be bummed out by it. Every single musical performance is INCREDIBLE tho. A solid 8/10.

Toilet Bound Hanako-kun: THE ART OMFG IT'S SO GORGEOUS. Listen, if you took coptic markers and gave them an animation budget with some manga panel direction thrown in there, that's this anime. It's beautiful. Gorgeous. I'm in love with the aesthetic every second. Story? Really good. Characters? I love the MC and his evil little twin brother asshat. Demons? Not super imaginative but I'm carrying on happy as can be anyways. Dubbing? A bit shaky at times but I found the voices charming if a little off for some of them. I'm already waiting for the second season with popcorn at the ready. 10/10.

Prison School: I watched this directly after Hanako-kun and it was like I got slapped in the face by sweaty unwashed titties and some fedora wearing schmuck's piss kink. No character is likable or redeemable. I finished it, but at what cost? 2/10 and only because a character shit his pants and I laughed.

Sleepy Princess in the Demon Castle: watched this right after Prison School and it was NECESSARY tbh. Its so CUTE and honestly, im not even kidding you, the fucking funniest anime I've seen in months. I watched the dub and the VAs are having the time of their lives working on this anime not just giving it their all but literally just going ham. Its great. If I read this im sure id be bored outta my mind but the VAs giving it a joyous performance make it an insta fave for me tbh. 9/10.

Sk8 the Infinity: i watched the dub with my bro and I can confirm that its a spectacular show because we both loved it and we have vastly different tastes. Incredibly SUSPENSFUL AND STRESSFUL for an anime about skateboarding but we finished it in a single sitting tbh. The last episode is not dubbed for some reason but we still loved it. Like if Free! was less obnoxious but the only fan-service here is Joe ♡ a beefcake who owns my lesbian heart. I think there's exactly one named female character tho and I legit couldn't tell you what it was if there was a gun to my head. So, over all, 9.5/10.

That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime: I'm going to be entirely honest, I went in thinking it was going to be a boring isekai of no value. I was right about the Isekai part. It was honestly pretty interesting and focused on nation building like you're playing civilization rather than the usual "Get Stronger" narrative or "Get Some Pussy" narrative most isekais take which is delightfully refreshing. Granted there are flavors of that in this which means it doesn't alienate the big isekai watchers out there, but it's not the whole dish and it doesn't make me want to cringe the same way others do. You've got a slime MC just vibing and building a nation of monsters nbd. Does lose points for making the female monsters more humanoid than their male counterparts but makes them back by only doing perfunctory fan-service and nothing that makes me want to cry... except the butt sumo episode but in fairness it was all a terrible dream. Literally, the MC refuses to dream anymore after that. solid animation, decent voice acting, decent story, made me realize how HUGE this is in the Light Novel community???? There's like 18 fucking novels and that's WILD. 8.5/10.

MANGA:

Spirit Photographer Saburo Kono: a one shot special by the mangaka of The Promised Neverland! Honestly a really delicate touch of both super creepy and really touching, and I'm not gonna lie I'm bummed that this isn't a bigger project but the single chapter makes it a good taste for their style. I've been wondering if I wanna read/watch The Promised Neverland and now I think I will. 10/10

Deranged Detective Ron Kamonohashi: from the mangaka of Hitman Reborn comes this Sherlock and Watson derivative! Not even 20 chapters out yet with a sort of spotty schedule, I honestly love it even thought it's exactly as you expect. HOWEVER. Kamonohashi the "Sherlock" character uses mental pressure to kill all confirmed murderers and it's up to Toto the "Watson" character to save all those people before Kamonohashi kills them! It's just recently introduced a "Moriarty" family of crime lords (not a big spoiler don't worry it was obvious) so the tension surrounding Ron's past is amping up rn. Personally, I think the art is GORGEOUS, the characters engaging, and the story quick enough to keep my interest. Most mysteries are solved within a chapter or two so you're not stuck 20 chapters into one locked room mystery which is just peachy tbh. RN, 10/10. If this gets an anime, I anticipate a legion of fangirls who ship the two main characters along with their many friends. I've been alive too long to believe otherwise.

Don't Toy with Me, Miss Nagatoro: Yeah I read the manga after I watched the show. A slower build than the anime, but it works for the format, if theyd done the same with the show then I don't think it wouldve done as well. Honestly? Cuter tbh but just as horny. You dont start really LEARNING about your character until like, chap 65 tho and no real "drama" happens until like 75. A good chunk of the chapters are like 8pgs so its a breeze to get through. I love these slow burn idiots of the century. 9.5/10 because you can DEFINITELY tell the mangaka does hentai too.

Yugen's All-Ghouls Homeroom: one-shot by the mangaka for Food Wars, it's no wonder there's this constant perviness from the MC, a guy who can see and exorcise spirits. Takes place at an all girl's finishing school with KICK ASS monsters tbh, kinda bummed its not longer. The MC? Blatant monsterfucker who is also a CONFRIMED monsterfucker???? Idk i vibe with that single emotion. Everything else is hit or miss. 7/10 for monsters and cool concept, lost points for the MC very pointedly being okay with admitting he'd wait for the teenagers to be adults tho. Creepy af. Could live without that.

Hell's Paradise: I finished the entire 127chps in 3 days and I was really enthusiastic about it 90% of the time thinking about how deep it was and then I actually thought about it and I ended up being very neutral about the whole thing tbh. The art is fantastic tho, but DEFINITELY deserving of the M rating. Tits. Tits everywhere. But not tits to be ecchi over, no, monster hermit tits on beautiful women-ish figures. Now generally I give that a pass but a huge theme in the story is that men and women are "no better than one or the other" but like, lady tits are what you see 99% of the time. Men tits are few and far between. I call bullshit on most of the "deep" themes is what I'm saying, so it's like the mangaka was trying for those deep thoughts but missed the margin a little too far for my preference. That being said, the MC is a married man who loves his wife which automatically makes him my favorite character so like... idk so many good things, so many misses, but overall really spectacular themes and imagery. Unique but classic all at once. It's getting an anime and I have NO IDEA how much censorship they're gonna be doing but they're going to be doing SO MUCH. Oh yeah, and one guy is a plant/human hybrid who fucks a 1000 year old plant-hermit which makes him a canon monster fucker. And one canon non-binary character who I, a nonbinary, actually like. So like... gosh I've got mixed feelings. 8.5/10.

Choujin X: From Sui Ishida, mangaka to the mega hit Tokyo Ghoul comes this brand new manga!... Of one chapter, lol. Not really binge-y because it's just the one chapter out right now but I'm already keeping my eye on it. The grasp on anatomy in the art is PHENOMENAL and you can see Ishida flexing his art skill which is great. Can't give a true rating but I'm giving it a tentative 9/10 because I'm excited to see more.

Shag&Scoob: technically not a manga, its an ongoing webcomic I binged an subscribed to in one day and I just think it deserves more attention. Starts off funny with "what if Scooby Doo had a gun" and has been led to "what if all cartoons are aliens that survive and receive their powers by the humans that love them in an epic war with Martians." On god, its good. I finished the current series in a couple hours so it's a breezy read, highly recommend it. 9/10.

To Your Eternity: Yeah I watched the anime and then finished all current 143 chapters in like 3 days. GOD IM WEAK. I don't buy physical manga unless I know I want to remember the story forever and I'm already budgeting for the current books out. Yeah, this is a good series. That being said, definitely not for the faint of heart or those who suffer under common triggers like suicide, molestation, death, etc. It's all framed as bad and necessary to the story don't get me wrong, but it's there and has lasting affects on the characters. Incredible story telling by the creator of A Silent Voice. Keep tissues nearby at all times. 12/10.

[blissfulparker]

the reader proposing to peter🥺 i'm ✨soft✨

This is going to be settle but I do like the idea of the girl proposing to the guys😌

The sun comes into the room and the alarm clock reads 11:45. You and peter barely just got up, after a long night together for your three years anniversary, you two made yourselves in the sheets all throughout the night.

“Good morning...” you roll over and see your boy with his face scrunched up. He holds you tightly and kisses your forehead softly. “Someone’s grumpy.”

“I’m grumpy because I have to leave this bed at some point.” He mumbles but then opens his eyes to be greeted with you.”but good morning.” He kisses and you even though you hate the morning breath you’ve learnt to get use to it, just for him.

“I think I’m too sore to leave bed.” You laugh.

“Then why can’t we be like this forever? We never have to leave.” He goes to kiss your neck and even though his words were playful, you felt more. You and peter had been dating for five years, five years and the two of you couldn’t see anything better.

Within those five years you even took a break, took a break and dated other people but it wasn’t the same. No one loved you like peter and you loved no one like you loved Peter.

“Peter,” you find your hands tangled in his hair as he kisses across your chest. His lips sweet and soft but you want his attention on your words. “Peter, ive been thinking...” you started and he lifted his head up.

“If this is about me making you late to work last week I’m so sorry, it’s not happening anymore I’m sorry your boss yelled at you—“ he started and you shook your head although that was something you wanted to talk to him about.

“No, no,” you stoked his cheek. “What if we got...married?” You ask and he gives you a look. A good one though.

“Like...I call you Mrs. Parker? A-And we make it permanent?” He loved the idea of marriage except he was never raised around it, marriage was a far fetched concept for him, he didn’t think he was deserving.

“Well,” you started. “That is how marriage works.” You laugh a little out of nervous. He looks at you as id you’ve never been more beautiful than now. Now being in bed, early morning, eyes puffy and lips sore from his kisses but they still begged for more. Nothing but you, him and the morning sun.

“Yes! Yeah, yeah! I want to get married to you so badly. Yes I want get married.” He smiles and you do too. You didn’t have a proper ring, you weren’t sure how that all properly worked but you did have him.

“Peter Benjamin parker,” you held his face and he came close to your lips. “Will you marry me?” You ask and his eyes go wide. For a moment you think he can feel your heart exploding but he nods his head so quickly you think it’s going to fall off.

“Yes! Yes! A million times yes!” He cries as he pushes his lips against yours. He moves his hands to hold your face and it’s only moments until you’re pulling off because you can’t breathe.

“Wait,” he looks at you. “Aren’t I supposed to ask you that?” He asks and you shake your head.

“Who cares? We’re engaged!” You smile and he does too going back to your lips.

The rest of the day peter was the first to give you a ring. He pulled out his moms old wedding ring and told you how he never thought he would use it until he met you. The rusted ring needed some cleaning but it was some of the last peter had of his parents that he was now sharing with you. You and peter had waited five years for this and you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life like this.

[bitchiha]

i need some fluff huhu. can i have naruto with mom reader hc or imagines? thank u 😍

A/N: ive never done anything like this before but I like this idea 10/10

Also special credit / mention to @softnaruto because we talked about some of these ideas but w Iruka not a mother figure lol

✎ Being Narutos Mother Figure *sparkles but they’re on fire bc this is chaotic*

Overall, before I get into the details, I’d say this is a very chaotic task lol. You’re probably half dead after dealing w his ass for so long, but seeing this boy that you thought of as your own son grow up before your eyes is so rewarding. It’s great, so wholesome 100/10.

You and Iruka definitely co-parent

Naruto would be constantly protecting you from Jiraiya. Like he doesn’t want the man near you. Runs over to you whenever Jiraiya is nearby and starts screaming “Missus Y/N, run! Pervy Sage is here, I’m doing you a favour, believe it!” No but in all seriousness, take Narutos advice because I know Pervy Sage is tryna hit it.

You end up having to talk to Jiraiya eventually though because you need to know what’s going on with Naruto and the Akatsuki and what you can do to help. Naruto will watch over the interactions like a hawk. Will whip a chopstick at Jiraiya if he tries anything on you, “Back it up pervy Sage! I said three meters apart, there’s no excuse!” So you’d have to meet eachother in secret because you won’t be able to discuss much when the blondies around.

Also, the amount of times you’ve chased his ass around the village after he got into some major trouble is too many times to count. He’s running as fast as he can away from you because he knows you’re gonna whoop his ass lol. Probably even uses his shadow clones, but you know better than to fall for those stupid tricks. No but fr, it’s a really good workout tbh you probably ran a marathon.

You treat him to ramen whenever he comes back from a mission. Sometimes Iruka comes along as well and you both alternate who pays the bill. Naruto always challenges you to a ramen eating competition. Luckily Iruka is there to hold you two back because he knows neither of you are financially stable enough to endure that damage to your wallets.

Literally everyone; Konoha 11, kakashi, iruka, Jiraiya, Tsunade, etc... always threaten Naruto by saying that they’ll tell y/n he’s not cooperating. It works like a charm everytime. There’s no way he wants to hear you lecture him for a good 2 hours. He’d rather get rasenganed into the face than listen to your horrible attempts at being wise.

You always ruffle Narutos hair when you see him. It’s like your signature sign of affection. You also call him “kid” all the time or “youngster” even though you’re like the same age as Kakashi and therefore not old yourself.

He calls you miss. He sometimes calls you Aunty y/n. Refuses to just call you y/n because he wants to be respectful, he looks up to you as a figure of guidance no matter how much he’ll deny it. So no matter how many times you tell him not to call you miss, he will.

Lots of walks! Like you’ll wait for him with Iruka at the village gate when Narutos supposed to return from a mission. It’s like parents picking up their kid from a field trip aweeee. You’ll pack some snacks for the three of you and he fills you in on his missions. He’ll always be like, “Awe no way! Thanks Missus Y/N. You’re the best!” When you give him all the food you packed.

He always comes to you for advice or to rant to you about Sasuke, Sai, Sakura and literally all the other Konoha 11. Lol, but he will rant about you to Iruka and Jiraiya all the time, little does he know you do the same.

Would purposely set you into mama bear mode on Sai for his own amusement. Like he just gets a kick out of watching you confront Sai about calling Naruto some absurd obscenity and watch poor Sai just stand there like: (°_°) lol what do I do? Naruto is snickering behind a tree because he just made that all up. Yamato probably has to intervene when he sees it. Will have to woodstyle justu you when he realizes you’re in mama bear mode.

Hes such a troublesome rat. You love him though. He’s your troublesome rat-son.

Naruto is used to you being hot headed like Tsunade when he gets into trouble, but if you ever take the disappointed route instead, he will cry lol. Like he hates that you’re actually disappointed with him, he didn’t mean to trick you into yelling at Sai, please forgive him.

All celebrations are done with Kakashi, Iruka, Naruto and yourself. Since you all don’t really have any real family to celebrate with, you’ve made your own. It’s so chaotic tho lol.

These events are always ‘surprises for Naruto’ so the cooking is up to you and Kakashi, but Kakashi is so fast at cooking he doesn’t even let you do anything. You have to physically stop him so you could do some of the work. Meanwhile Iruka sets up decorations for the event and he’s probably singing festive songs LOOL. Plus he can’t sing so it’s an extra headache ontop of you yelling at Kakashi to let you do some work.

Then you all surprise Naruto with your half burnt food (while you were fighting the food most definitely lit on fire) and extremely cheesy decorations. Oddly Iruka even decorated the floor. Like wtf. Anyways, Naruto doesn’t really care about how bad it actually was, he was just happy to have people around him that cared enough to invite him to a celebration.

The food is inedible so you go to Ichirakus instead and somehow persuade Iruka into paying for all four of you <3 this happens every holiday so he ends up just saving his money in preparation for it.

Naruto tries to be a matchmaker for you LMFAO. He tries to get you and Iruka together which ends so awkwardly omg, then he’ll try and get you and kakashi together which was even more awkward and DONT get me started on Yamato omg.. He was so nervous he just stared at you the whole time like a googley eyed tree frog or something. Each time you catch onto Naruros little Cupid schemes you tell him to buzz off and that you’re not interested, but he doesn’t listen.

Your other holiday celebrations may be badly executed, but you actually host the best birthdays for him!! You pair up with Tsunade, Shizune, Kakashi, Iruka and Sakura to throw him really memorable birthdays. They may not make up for all the ones he missed celebrations for already, but you do your best to make these extra memorable.

At the end of the night after every birthday party, you walk him home and pat his shoulder sadly talking about how he’s growing up so fast. You probably end up crying because you're sad the little doofus is maturing somewhat. You tell him that and he laughs. Once you’re at his apartment door he’ll grin tiredly and give you a big hug. “Thanks again, aunty y/n.” You probably cry again on the way home bc he actually hugged you. That’s so sentimental omg. That is roughly about what happens every single birthday.

For your birthdays he treats you to ramen and gets you some weird kitchen gadget or something. Figures you’re an adult and they probably need these things. You don't, but you appreciate the gift anyway. 

He buys you flowers every Mother’s Day. It makes you so emotional. You definitely cry. “Awe missus y/n! Not again. You’re so emotional.” He probably starts crying too though lol.

It breaks his heart to see you cry omg. Poor baby is like a lost puppy when you cry. Like not you’re over exaggerated crying, but your said painful crying. Once, after hearing some distressing news about the Akatsuki, you just break down. Naruto has become a son to you after all and you want to protect him so badly, but how can you do that when you’re up against powerful rouge ninjas? You cried in front of him for the when you two were having your weekly dinners at your place, all the sudden you just burst out crying and it hurt him so much because he knew it was because you were so worried about him.

Honestly, he probably ruffles your hair —like you do to him — in attempt to cheer you up. “It’s okay, Aunty y/n. I’ll take care of it, everything will be okay, believe it!”

Oh yah also, speaking of weekly dinners! You guys definitely get together at least once a month or if it’s a good time, once a week to have dinner. We all know Naruto only survives on ramen, so you try and cook him healthy food, but my god he resists so hard. Then you give him that warning look and he chows down that salad so fast lol.

It would be 10/10 he's a great kid

[sokkisky]

~brightest bird~

Want to make a request?: https://forms.gle/NyZgUcqkCPzHRvVn6

Want a short quick post?: https://sokkisky.tumblr.com/ask 

Rating: SFW (Angst, Fluff) 

Pairings: Keigo Takami (Hawks) x Winged Y/N 

Contains: Mentions of injury/loss

A/N: I honestly don’t think I’ve written much action scene, so this might be a first lol. The request reads as such. 

Jesus I’m blowing you up ok LAST ONE I PROMISE THIS IS THE LAST ONE so can I request a hawks x reader with the same wing quirk as him but a villian attack broke out they both had to respond and hawks wings were about to get burnt out but instead she sacrifices herself and loses her wings instead angst to fluff with a fluff ending please :>

So thank you so much @waffleareniceandfluffy​ for the request, it’s adorable and thanks for the continued love and support. Guys please always remember to take care of yourselves and be kind to yourselves, treat yourself today! And without further ado, enjoy!

“He’s gonna blow again!” 

“Watch out!” 

“Move!” 

~~~

Keigo loved your wings. Your wings were big, like his but they shone a beautiful yellow. They seemed brighter than the sun at times, the light shining from your feathers. Your quirk was like Keigo’s in that you could control your feathers, but they couldn’t leave the wing like Keigos. 

They’d shine. 

They could shine brightly or dimly, depending on what you made them do, and each individual feather was like this. Your quirk was beautiful, but able to blind anyone if need be. No wonder you were a rescue hero. You were perfect for the job. You easily guarded the ones in trouble flashing away any enemies. 

You were the number 11 hero afterall, the greatest rescue hero of all time. The people loved you, always coming up to you in the streets and talking about you. Next to Hawks you seemed to be the most beloved with the people, and there was endless talk about you two being the best duo in the city.

When you’d come home from a long day he’d sit next to you, watching your wings as you made them glow in beautiful patterns. “You are always gonna be the brightest bird, songbird” he’d say as he straightened your feathers, or flew alongside you to work everyday. He was allured by your wings, his eyes never leaving them sometimes as he just stared at your beauty. Not to mention when they’d glow and they’d illuminate your face. He adored it, your skin blended perfectly in your magical quirk. 

Which is why you knew he’d hate the decision you made. 

~~~

The villains were running mad and you, working alongside Hawks and other pro heroes, worked to get everyone to safety and arrest the Villains. You rushed people to safety as the villains and heroes fought before the heroes started squaring off with each villain. 

Hawks ended up with a darkened mist quirked villain. One who could make shredding dark winds with his quirk and despite being in broad daylight, they were strong. He was one of the worst villains nowadays having planned this whole attack. There was no way Hawks’ wings could stand up to his mist if he used it. 

And that’s what he did. 

“Hawks! Watch out!” 

You turned, someone having called out to your husband. You looked in horror as a dark cloud of heavy winds enveloping him. “It’s a dark barrier, we’d need an intense light to disperse it!” someone shouted.  The winds were strong Hawks’ feathers being forced away from the wing from the speeds. You couldn’t faintly see his form get pushed to the ground as he was caught off guard. He looked around, his crimson wings pulsating from the shredding winds. You watched him struggling on the concrete to find a way out. 

Dispelled by light? 

Without thinking you rushed in standing in front of him your wings spread out wide and shining brightly, a spectacle for anyone to see. The wind burned against your back as the swirling widened but weakened around the two of you. 

You wanted to scream but you held up as best you could. 

“Baby bird?” you heard a confused shout from behind you, but you stood forward, all your energy pressing towards the darkened winds. You worked hard, trying to make your wings glow as bright as they could. Your back began to feel lighter before the light glowed so bright it looked from a distance as if the sun had engulfed you all. Villains, heroes, bystanders, everyone alike. 

After a moment the light went away and the darkened wind villain laid defeated on the ground, but the light was gone. It was complete silence and you felt something was wrong. You tried to fly up, check the area, 

But you couldn’t. 

You flapped your wings but nothing moved. You reached your hand back before you felt, nothing. Nothing there. Panic set in as you turned around yourself but realization hit you.

They were gone. Your wings were gone. 

It took you a minute before you turned back to Hawks who looked up at you, a mix of sadness, worry, and pain in his eyes. “They’re gone..” he murmured quietly. You felt your eyes well up with tears. You watched as the heroes gathered everyone up to safety and arrested the villain but Hawks moved to his feet in front of you. “Baby…” he said softly, and you couldn’t help but move to his chest, sobbing in his arms over it. He held you close, his head buried in the crook of your neck as you sobbed. You almost thought you could feel small tears escape his eyes but you were so wrapped up in despair you couldn’t tell for sure. Your legs felt weak and your body felt not only emotionally exhausted but physically as well. 

But you were a rescue hero, and you did your job. 

~~~

The next few weeks were torture from the extensive media coverage to your departure from your agency. You left, although they said you could stay, because you feared not only the press but you didn’t feel like a hero anymore. 

You’d given up on your title and didn’t go out, curling beside your old hero costume that you refused to wear. You just cried, a darkness forming around you as your life seemed to crumble and fall apart piece by piece. Breaking off into terrible endless tears. 

Every night Keigo would do his best to comfort you, hold you and give you kisses, however you felt a slight tinge of envy whenever you saw his wings. You missed yours, they were big and beautiful and had always been a part of you. 

Not to menton a lot of the times you felt empty. Going through your day as a shell of your once self, losing bits of your once happy and outgoing personality bit by bit. You forgot what it felt like to smile, how to laugh, and it seemed that no joke or happy story could brighten your day. 

Sometimes you’d stare into the mirror, looking at your back and at the discolored skin where your wings had once been. You couldn’t believe they were gone. It all felt like a bad nightmare as you watched your reflection cry back at you. 

~~~

You watched your old hero videos all day, eating a tub of ice cream while past you happily fended off attackers from the citizens, protecting men women and children alike. You missed your job, and you felt alone. All alone and in the dark. 

 You heard the front door opening, Keigo stepping inside. He looked at you and sighed, walking over to you and shrugging the blanket off your shoulders. You turned to look at him, the ice cream spoon halfway tucked between your lips. 

“Come on songbird, I have a surprise for you.” he said softly, lifting you off of the couch. 

You turned to him, confused as the night time darkness outside settled in. You followed him out of the penthouse apartment and onto the roof, overlooking a city. 

But it was dark. 

You looked around, “What’s going on?” you asked him, staring out into the darkness. He smiled and held you close. “I know you’ve been feeling really down, and being the number 11 hero, I pulled some strings and we wanted to show you how amazing you are.” he said softly, his arms wrapping around your waist. “Ive been working on it for a few weeks with a million times more help. You looked at him confused. 

“What time is it songbird?” he asked you, and you pulled out your phone. 

“10:59,” you responded.

You were more than confused, why were all the building lights off, the only lights in the city were the few illuminating the city streets, yet no cars drove by. They were the only lights that were, until the city illuminated itself. 

You gasped. 

A large display of bright wings laid out across the landscape, the darkness fleeting when a brightly filled shape of wings spread across the cityscape. People cheered, clapping and shouting your name, some took to the streets and music began to play as drones from above caught pictures of the whole outlook. You could feel yourself begin to tear up as the people praised you and cheered and celebrated. 

You turned to Keigo who was supporting a large happy grin. 

“You are still our hero songbird, still number 11, still the greatest rescue hero of all time, and you forever be the brightest bird.”

[is-that-another-soulmate-au]

Okay, so, let me make this dream thing make sense.

You can't see them, you can't say your name, or where you live. But you can say tid bits about your day. These dreams happen twice a year starting at age 12. When you meet them the visits become much more common, and their image becomes clearer, but not enough to see them perfectly. Just a better silhouette. If someone is a year older then the dream will happen at that point. So Sokka would be 11. You'll only remember tid bits about your conversations, ill only write those but that should be all that I got.

"Hello?" Sokka heard the voice of a boy call out

"Uh? Hello? Who's there?"

"If I said my name you wouldn't hear it dum dum." The boy made a huff "I didn't expect to visit on the night of my birthday"

"Oh! We're soulmates!"

"Yeah, we are" the boy laughed "its a bit strange tho, Ive heard that it takes a bit for the dreams to show up.."

"Well, happy birthday! Uhm, since I can't know your name can I call you... uhm, my dad calls my papa Sprout!"

"Ugh! Sprout?" The boy made huff that sounded like a pout "yeah, you can call me sprout, but if we ever meet you better not call me that"

They both laughed at the idea

"Im sure ill find a better nickname"

"And I'll call you... turtleduck!"

"What? Why turtleduck?"

"Well my mom and I sit at the turtleduck pond alot and the turtleducks are my favorite part of my day"

"Aww! I hope to see one some day!

"I'll show you them if we meet!"

"Promise?"

"Promise."

That was all Sokka could remember of Sprout's visit. He talked to Gran gran about his visit, about the turtleducks and the boys laughter.

Meanwhile Zuko talked excitedly to his mother about Turtleduck and how he wanted to call him sprout. Making a face at the nickname to which his mother laughed at.

It wasn't until almost the end of the year when Sokka saw Sprout again this time he called out

"Sprout! Hello!"

"Turtleduck!"

They both went to hug eachother before they realized that they couldn't move closer "oh... right..." Sprout mumbled

"Its been a while"

"Yeah, and now its cooooolldd"

"Haha, I'm used to the cold"

"Oh is it normally cold where you are

"Yeah, its cold enough to snow most days. Makes hunting much easier though"

"Oh! You hunt? But your only 12?"

"11 still actually, but yeah, I have to hunt, my dad and papa could go off to war any day now so I have to be prepared to go hunting and fishing"

"Yeah, this war sucks, dad says it's a principle, but that just doesn't make any sense! I can't tell him that tho, can't change his mind"

They both talked and laughed together until the dream ended.

They didnt see eachother again until Zuko's 13th birthday when Sokka heard him crying

"Sprout? Hey Sprout is that you? Are you okay?"

"Turtleduck!? Hi, yeah, I'm... I was uh, banished from my nation today, uhm I'm traveling now"

"What!? What happened?"

"My dad he, he was furious at me, he challenged me to an Agni Kai and burnt my face"

"Agni Kai? What is your dad a firebender?"

"Yeah, Agni Kai is a firebending dual, I disrespected him and he burnt me when I didn't fight"

"Sprout, I'm so sorry."

"Its not your fault-"

"Its not your fault either you know! Just because you disrespect someone doesn't give them the right to burn you! Regardless of who they are!"

They cried this time, Sokka trying desperately to convince Sprout that his dad was in the wrong.

It wasnt until Sokka's 12th birthday later that year that Sprout showed up again.

"Hey! Sprout! Guess what day it is??"

"Uh, Wednesday?"

"No! Well... yeah, but its my birthday!"

"Oh! happy birthday turtleduck!"

"Thanks! My Gran Gran made me a whalebone necklace!"

"A... whalebone necklace?"

"Yeah! Its a thing my village does, well I guess its our culture. When a boy turns 12 he is given a whale bone necklace and can't remove it until he's married. My sister has a betrothal necklace, thats the opposite tho.. normally you'd wear a it when you're about to be married but our mom gave her that necklace."

"Oh! That sounds cool!"

The two talked and joked around for a while longer. Not much more to memory. They met a few more times over the next 3 years, then his sister and him found the Avatar and the fire nation appeared, well, more so a single ship showed up with very few people on it. The leaders voice was extremely familiar to him. But he didnt have time to try and figure out why.

After that day his dreams were a little clearer. And it seemed they were closer than he thought possible always leaving the same places at the same times, which was weird especially without ever figuring out who they were.

It wasnt until the western air temple after boiling rock that they realized it. Everyone was sitting around the fire talking about their soulmates. Katara revealing she'd only ever seen memories and Aang saying he thought that he just didn't have one. And then when they met in their dreams it didn't take long to figure out who eachother were. Suki revealed that she and another kyoshi warrior were soulmates. When it came to Sokka he shrugged "ive been talking to him since I was eleven, I call him Sprout because well Dad calls Papa Sprout. But he's pretty fun to chat wi-"

"Did you just say sprout?" Zuko cut in

"Uh.. yeah, I did, wh-"

"Does he call you turtleduck?"

"Yes! Do you know the guy?"

"Uh..." Zuko's face couldnt have gotten redder "Sokka, Im Sprout..."

Everyone went silent and he listed off different parts on their conversations until Sokka was convinced.

"I cant believe it. This whole time, it was you, wait, you told me your dad burned you, is that how you got that scar? In the Agni Kai?"

Zuko nodded "yeah, yeah my dad did this" he motioned to his scar.

Katara, having grown up with Sokka chatting up a storm about his dreams with his soulmate seemed to relax a bit more around Zuko, gaining a bit of trust in him.

"Wait, Sokka, you called your soulmate Sprout?" Hakoda chimed in

"Well, yeah, I couldn't find out his name through the dreams so I called him the best nickname I could think of..."

The group around the fire fell into laughter. After the reveal Sokka and Zuko were practically inseparable. When the day of the comet came Sokka was hesitant to let Zuko go to find Azula but with Katara there with him he felt he'd be safe. However after the battle was over and he found out that Zuko had been struck by lightning he couldnt get to him faster. Hobbling right into the medical wing of the palace. "Zuko!" He shouted as he made it in, finding Katara and Zuko in the middle of a having session

"Sokka! What happened to your leg!?"

"Forget my leg, you got shot by lightning!?"

"Yeah, hah, that I did, but Katara's magic so Im all good now!" He gave a thumbs up.

"He's got some medicinal tea that Iroh brewed for him, he's a little out of it. I'll leave you two alone."

After Katara left Sokka sat in the chair she was in and rested his head on Zuko's lap. The battle was won, they can breathe easy now.

@chaoticidiott @transzukostanblog @roman-does-nothing @idkhowbutimgayer

Hope i did it justice!

[softlyjiminie]

happy birthday, my love | p.j.m

⇢ pairing(s): boyfriend!park jimin x reader.

⇢ word count: 1.3K

⇢ genre: fluff, angst, long distance relationship!au, idol!au.

⇢ summary: it’s one of those birthdays, where jimin is without you and the distance is killing him.

⇢ warning(s): please read!  a little angst, swearing.

⇢ author’s note(s): hi guys! its currently 11:40 something pm GMT time so i'm posting this little drabble while it’s still jiminie’s birthday, i hope you goys enjoy!

“happy birthday, my love!” was the first thing you said to jimin as the screen illuminated on his computer. he was in his usual spot in whatever hotel room it was, by the the balcony with the lights streaming in through the curtains. it’s about mid day, october twelfth and jimin has a few hours to kill before show time. a small, albeit, sad smile dances across his lips as he watches you pull out a party popper and laugh until he sees your smile lines. 

he tries to ignore the dark circles under your eyes from staying up late. it’s midnight for you and he knows that you’re tired. he ignores the time zones and puts on a front. because he knows that you stayed up just for him. 

“thank you my darling.” he nods simply, fingers decorated with rings, touching the screen as if you were holding hands. you mirror his actions, beaming when the party hat you wore tilts to the side. jimin’s heart aches. 

“i know there’s twelve more hours for you,”  you whisper into the darkness of your own room, bound by blankets and headphones tucked in. “but i wanted to be the first, even if i am early.” 

jimin nods, hiding his wince whilst you hide your yawn. you speak again. “why aren’t you smiling?” 

“i can’t,” he mumbles back, the habit he has of driving his hands through his thick black hair coming forth again. his heart sinks in his chest at your disappointed face, knowing you stayed up for this call to see him. “not when you’re not with me like we planned.” 

he sees your frown, he knows you’re hurt too. “my love, you know i’m impossibly sorry that i couldn’t  make it, things came up and i just can’t afford it-“ you try to reason with him, memories of this same conversation relaying in his head.

“let me bring you out here...let me do something for you...” 

you shake your head, and jimin leans back in his chair. he admired your humbleness, he loved how stubborn you were but he craved you to be close and to feel your skin on his. cherry lips between your teeth, you sigh and reach out to the screen with your hand again. “you know i couldn’t take a gift from you, especially on your day.”

he nods painfully, looking away and avoiding the lump in his throat. he won’t say much to you know, the ache in his chest growing like the distance between you. the next few moments are spent in an overbearing silence, you watching jimin and jimin watching you. a knock on his door raising a sad smile to your lips as you lean forward and press a kiss to the screen. 

“happy birthday my love,” you whisper, a slight waver in your voice as you tilt your head to look at him. “i love you.”

jimin didn’t have time to say it back.

he smiles but his heart does not smile with him, you’d think being surrounded by thousands of fans who were all there just for him, he would have his spirits lifted. 

but jimin was tired, his body was stiff and his heart ached. he couldn’t see your face in the crowd like he had planned. he couldn’t feel happy. 

and yet, in honour of his birthday, while his beloved army sung their hearts out for him, jimin smiled. his crescent moon eyes creasing at the corner to the point where he couldn’t see, and where the tears wouldn’t fall for all of them to see. 

the stage lights dimmed and he begun to descend back stage, where his body sagged and his emotions reined free. namjoon was on next, giving jimin a pity full  grin as it was all he had time for. the stylists dabbed and danced around jimin, fixing his hair and touching up his make up. his bottom lip couldn’t help but wobble when seokjin approached him, concerned.

“jiminie...” elder mumbled, drawing the attention of the others members dotted around the room. “how’re you holding up?” 

the younger let the dam break, curling into his hyung who wrapped him up in his broad arms. jimin cried, like a child, he cried as tears fell and drifted down the apples of his cheeks. “i miss her hyung, i want to go home, i miss her.” he sniffled, not caring about the stage make up that had begun to run.

“i know you do chim but-“

“no...you don’t know!” the dancer counters, his chest heaving from heavy emotions and words that weighed down his mind. “you don’t know what it’s like to not see her everyday, to not be able to hold her whenever i want, to kiss her whenever i want. ive been looking at her through a screen for this entire time, touching the screen at the same time as she just to feel something. every time we travel i feel us getting further apart and i see her heart shattering but there’s nothing i can do because i can’t comfort her. i can’t even comfort myself, hyung...” 

the room was rendered silent, the only sound coming from namjoon performing on stage. jimin’s breathing was ragged, his hyungs and the maknaes watched over him worriedly. jungkook and taehyung being the most concerned, jimin was usually so bright and it pained them to see the oldest of their trio hurt so badly.

yoongi gave the singer a light massage to his back, a sort of comfort. “let’s get through tonight jimin, it’ll all be over soon.” 

at 00:00 on october thirteenth, jimin hit the soft sheets of his five star hotel bed. his dark hair splaying out across the whites, as he lay in silence. it was his birthday now. he was meant to be a year older, a year wiser. and yet he felt that he’d only stayed the same. 

if you were here, you would tell him how he didn’t need you to feel changed. that you didn’t complete each other but we’re instead equals, soulmates. but him being him would always feel as if a piece of himself were missing without you. 

his only wish for midnight, was for you to be with him on his birthday.

“room service!” someone calls from the other side of the door, knocking gently. he didn’t order anything, jimin frowns, rolling over and putting his phone down. dozens and thousands of notifications streaming in from his fans to wish him a happy birthday. he didn’t want to move.

the person knocks again, only irritating jimin as he tries to cover his ears and drown in his own self sorrow. knockknockkock, room service! they call again and again until finally-

“park jimin i swear to god if you don’t open this door right now i’m going home.”

 his head full of midnight black hair pops up at the sound of the voice, stumbling out of bed half dressed and rushing to the door. jimin wastes not a second longer tearing it up and throwing his arms over you, not even giving you a second to register what’s happening.

his brain is frazzled, a series of short circuits with a million and one burning questions to ask. you’re here, with him. in the flesh and blood, the touch of your hand on his cheek bringing him back to reality as it sears through him. “Y-YN?” he breathes, whiskey eyes fluttering across your face as if you confirm you’re real. “how did you get here? when did you get here? what are you doing here?” 

“so many questions, my love...” you smile, pressing a small kiss to jimin’s nose as he holds you close. your scent relaxes his racing mind and his heart finally smiles along with him. “the boys did a good job keeping it a surprise, i planned to show up during your set onstage, but i got delayed a bit, but im here now and for the rest of the tour!” 

jimin hugs you close, nuzzling into your neck as he inhales. he doesn’t need to say much for you to know that he loves you. and instead of speaking, you hold him tight and whisper.

“i’m here now, happy birthday my love.”

[reckoningss]

Mercy Springs - One

Summary: Mercy Booker holds these truths to be self-evident: animals are significantly more relatable than people, and working as a veterinary tech in a sleepy little town is as close to the “good life” as she’s going to get. When a strange man shows up at her clinic after hours with an injured dog, she has a decision to make - go on living the quiet life she’s come to know or open the door to the exhilarating unknown.

Pairing: Pete Castiglione/Frank Castle x OC (Mercy Booker)

Warnings: Animal death, allusions to blood

Wordcount: 2k

A/N: Starting a new series as if I’m in any way consistent or disciplined. We’ll see how this goes.

Mrs. Haskell was in tears. More accurately, she was wracked with pitiful, blubbering sobs that shook her shoulders and dripped tears and God knows what down the front of her worn, magenta hoodie. Mercy rubbed her shuddering back and try, unsuccessfully, for a comforting smile. 

Wednesdays were the worst. 

It was no coincidence either; Dr. Liebovitz scheduled the majority of his euthanizations on Wednesdays and Mercy - as his primary veterinary tech - attended all of them. By his reasoning, Wednesday wasn’t early enough in the week to compound the misery of a Monday and wasn’t late enough to spoil the weekend. She had to admit there might have been something to his logic. 

Mercy removed her hand from Mrs. Haskell’s back and gently grasped her forearm instead. “Hey.” She infused her voice with a measure of authority - warm consternation. Mrs. Haskell lifted her face out of her hands and gazed at her with watery eyes. All of the crying had painted her face with a mosaic of creamy red and pink splotches. Mercy smiled again. 

“It’s time.” 

Her lip quivered and more fat tears escaped the corners of her eyes. “Oh, Mercy, I don’t think I can watch. I can’t go in there.”

Mercy squeezed the older woman’s wrist and willed her to meet her eye. “You have to. The last thing Boomer sees shouldn’t be me.”

Jeanie Haskell choked out another sob and screwed her face up in agony. “Bu-”

“But nothing.” Mercy cut her off decidedly, leveraging her burgeoning talent for providing comfort and chastisement in the same breath, “You’re his entire world. He deserves to have you there.” 

Her sobs quieted to gasping whimpers as Mercy walked over behind the reception desk and plucked two tissues from the strategically placed Kleenex box. Returning, she folded them gently into Mrs. Haskell’s hands and rubbed her back again. 

“It’s going to be alright. We’ll be right there with you.”

In the operating room, Mercy stood quietly to the side as Mrs. Haskell kneeled in front of Boomer and wrapped her arms around her neck. She’d managed to stop crying, but the old dog could feel the sadness rolling off of her and tucked his wide head into the side of her neck. 

Poor thing, Mercy thought as she watched the final embrace unfold. Jeanie Haskell had been bringing Boomer to Charity Springs Animal Clinic since he was a puppy - well before Mercy graduated from DeBrie with her associate's degree and stumbled into a job with Dr. Leibowitz. He’d been older but still energetic when Mercy first met him - fun, but more reserved with age. They’d had a few good years to bond over checkups and countless treats. But now at 11 he was suffering from the onset of bone cancer and walked with a pitiable limp. He just looked tired. 

Mrs. Haskell pulled away from her old Beauceron and ran a hand down the side of his long, weathered face, then, kissing his nose one last time, she stood and backed into Dr. Leibowitz’ waiting arms. The older man gazed at Mercy over the top of the wire-rim glasses sitting low on his nose and offered a wistful smile. 

Mercy took a deep breath and nodded. “Ok.” 

From her pocket she produced a treat - chicken jerky flavored, Boomer’s favorite - and offered it to the dog. After a cursory sniff, he took it meekly from her palm. Mercy rubbed the crown of his head with one hand and with the other, injected several milliliters of acepromazine into the dog’s rear. He twitched a little but didn’t respond. 

“Good boy,” Mercy cooed, scratching Boomer behind the ears while she waited for the sedative to take effect. “You’re doing so great.” Boomer blinked sluggishly, laying his head on the linoleum floor. “That’s it, Buddy.” Crouching, Mercy slid her hands gently beneath the large dog’s frame and hefted him into her arms. He really was a big dog - 105 pounds the last time she’d weighed him, probably closer to 95 now. She huffed tightly through her nose. “I’ve gotcha.”

Mercy laid Boomer down on the stainless steel exam table and smoothed a hand down his side. His black fur was duller than it had been in previous years but no less beautiful. 

“Oh,” came a breathy whisper from over Mercy’s shoulder. She stepped to the side so a sniffling Mrs. Haskell could step in and caress her beloved companion. “Oh, baby, I love you so much.” 

Mercy shared a look with Dr. Elie Leibowitz from where he stood across the table. The doctor looked good for 67, but he had sad eyes. Mercy knew for a fact that he adored his job, but it saddened him too, especially during moments like this. Dr. Leibowitz nodded. 

Mercy took another breath in preparation. 

“Ok. Boomer is partially sedated now. The acepromazine is going to keep him from feeling any pain, ok?” 

Dr. Leibowitz shuffled over to the corner and rolled over a metal stand. An IV bag swung lazily from one of its arms. Mercy carefully unsleeved a catheter needle. A pair of gloved fingers pushed back fur and located a vein in one of Boomer’s hind legs. She pushed the needle in. “We’re going to start an IV of pentobarbital - a seizure drug. At this dosage, it’s going to put Boomer to sleep. Then it’ll shut down his brain and heart functions.”

Dr. Leibowitz fit the end of the IV line into the catheter port and screwed it in. Mrs. Haskell hiccupped another quiet sob and buried her hands in Boomer’s fur. Big, anguished tears were rolling down her round cheeks again. Mercy watched as the liquid began to fill the drip chamber.

“It should only take a few minutes.” 

“You were wonderful, Jeanie, you made Boomer’s last moments very special,” Dr. Leibowitz murmured reassuringly from the hallway. 

That part was his specialty - the people part - and Mercy knew to leave him to it.  She could practically see him - one arm wrapped around the mourning woman’s shoulders, head bent in to whisper comfort to her. He always knew what to say.

She would much rather do this. The aluminum gurney bumped over the tiles as she rolled Boomer’s body into cold storage in the back. The body was stiff now, brown eyes half-lidded. The local pet crematorium would be by to pick up the body in the morning. In a few days time, Mrs. Haskell would come back to pick up the urn of Boomer’s remains. 

Mercy lugged the heavy storage door open and rolled the table inside. Boomer didn’t look like he was sleeping in the low light filtering in from the hallway but Mercy laid one gloved hand on the side of his lifeless face anyway. “You were such a good dog, Boom.”

Dr. Leibowitz was already disinfecting the table when Mercy made it back to the exam room. He offered her a quick glance overtop his glasses as he hummed. Mercy quietly went around the room, gathering discarded paper sleeves and alcohol wipes into a trash bag. 

“You were very good with Mrs. Haskell today.” 

Mercy paused in the doorway - the mouth of the trash bag half twisted into a knot - and peered at Dr. Leibowitz over her shoulder. 

“I mean it.” The doctor bent low to snatch a pen up off the floor, bracing a hand on his knee and groaning. He was like a very, very old tree. “Your bedside manner is really improving.” 

Mercy scoffed. “The animals think my bedside manner is great.” 

Dr. Leibowitz chuckled warmly as he shuffled across the room toward her. He cupped her shoulders and looked down into her face intently. “I know animals come easy for you, but the toughest part of this job is the people and they’re important too.” 

Mercy offered a begrudging nod of ascent before glancing down at his vintage timepiece. She raised a brow. ”You have a date to go to.” 

The doctor unhanded her shoulder to squint down at the face of his watch. His eyes went wide. “You’re right!” He threw his hands up and shuffled away from her at a determined speed. “It’s Italian night!” 

Mercy grinned and followed him to the lobby, tugging on the knotted garbage bag to secure it. Leibowitz leaned over the reception desk to grab his coat and hat from the hooks on the wall. She had to admit, he looked rather dapper as he shrugged the jacket on. His wife was a lucky woman. Leibowitz lowered the trilby onto his head and glanced back at her. “You ok to lock up alone?” 

“I always am.” 

After Mercy locked the door behind Dr. Leibowitz and lugged all the trash to the dumpster out back, she made her way around the clinic cleaning and shutting everything down. The hour and a half long process wasn’t half bad with some music to keep her company. Not to mention that she always saved the best closing duty for last. 

Mercy stored the empty mop bucket in the supply closet and retreated to the boarding room in the very rear of the clinic. A chorus of yips and cries met her ears as soon as she opened the door, bringing a smile to her face. 

“Hey guys!” 

It was the middle of fall and as such, the clinic was a little light on boarders, but Mercy didn’t mind. This way, she could provide their few charges with as much love as possible. 

A litter of kittens had been brought in by the local girl scout troupe. Small, fluffy, and vicious, they were all a wonderful terror to babysit. Then there was Bodhi - the rescue bulldog puppy in for observation and shots. Mercy’s peach scrubs were a dark, slobber-stained coral by the time she locked his crate again. Tinkerbell - the curmudgeonly old tabby - was still in a foul mood from her operation to extract a benign growth, but they’d managed to work out a decent enough working relationship and Mercy swore she felt a purr when she tugged gently on the cat’s ears. And last, but certainly not least, Stav the lionhead rabbit was little more than a big, hairy softy, desperate for attention. Mercy made sure to spend a few extra moments stroking his soft belly. 

Mercy finished up administering medication, checking stitches and refilling water bowls and offered the animals one last quiet ‘goodnight’ before turning the light out and retracing her steps to the lobby. It had started to rain while she finished up and she noted the patter against the wide plate glass windows with some relief. It had been a long day; she was just now beginning to feel the fatigue pulling at her as she dragged a hoodie over her head. She couldn't wait to get home, warm up a meal, drink a beer and fall into a deep, dreamless sleep.

Something flashed across her periphery just as her head breached the neckline of the hoodie. Mercy peered into the grainy bank of CCTV screens on the monitor sitting behind the reception desk and saw nothing save for the greyscale glittering of fallen rain. Maybe it had just been a raccoon. They were known to skulk around the clinic, ripping off whatever scraps they could find in the dumpsters. 

Shrugging it off, Mercy dug her keys out of the desk drawer and headed for the door. She flipped through the densely populated key ring as she walked, thumbing through until she selected the heavy key to lock the door behind herself when she left. Mercy pinched the thick locking mechanism between her forefinger and thumb, ready to rotate it counterclockwise and swing open the door. 

A volley of violent knocks shook the door and echoed through the nearly empty clinic. Mercy shrieked, dropping the keys and looking up into the bloody, frantic face of a man only inches away from her on the other side of the glass. 

Mercy stifled the urge to clutch her chest although she could feel her heart hammering mercilessly against her ribcage. Her hand fumbled in her pocket for her phone, numb fingers itching to dial 911, until her gaze left the man’s desperate face and made its way down to the massive, grey dog bleeding in his arms. 

Part Two

[petersshirts]

Chasing After You (1) | tom holland

pairing: tom holland x reader

summary: uni doesn’t seem so hard, until your ex-boyfriend shows up right in front of you, turning your life in a whirlwind of emotions

warnings: lots of swearing they are Britains for gods’ sake

words: 1,5 k

A/N: so... here it is, my new series!! it’s still in the making and i don’t know yet how many there will be, but i hope you like it, please let me know what you think!

„I hate this,“ you mumbled and closed the door of your apartment with a loud thud, gaining the attention of your roommate Sky in the kitchen. „Hey boo, you okay?“ You heard your best friend yell and you just sighed, throwing off your shoes and coat to get to her.

„Just been a shitty day.“ Sky pouted and closed the fridge to give you a hug. You pulled her closer, sighing at the contact. It was good to know that you were not alone - that you could manage Uni and everything around it.

It had been only two weeks since you started your first year at Uni in Cambridge, and it had been hard. Sure, you knew that Uni was not easy, but the professors were horrible and mean, causing you a lot of stress. And you were not famous for handling stress very well. Sky pulled back to check if you cried, but you just shook your head, showing her that you were okay. That you would be okay.

„It’s all gonna be fine, Y/N. You’re gonna get used to it. But before that, I’ve been invited to a house party tonight!!“ You rolled your eyes at the excitement of your best friend, knowing how this evening would go. Sure, you loved going out but Sky always drank way too much and you always had to bring her home around 11 pm, crashing all the fun you had.

„I’m only going f you don’t drink five shots in the first two minutes!“ You reminded her and she just giggled. She was so childish but you loved her for it. With her, everything was easy and fun and you were so happy that you had decided to move into an apartment together at the start of the term.

For the next few hours, you ordered pizza and got yourself ready for the party. Sky even managed to put you into one of her dresses - when you stood in front of the mirror you didn’t even recognise yourself. Your friend had curled your hair and put some make-up on your face, turning you from a sleep-deprived student into a night owl. Without her, you would most likely lie in your bed and only come out for food and pee-breaks.

After a bottle of wine, the two of you left your apartment and walked to the address where the house party was at. It was early spring and you cursed yourself for only bringing a light jacket like Sky had told you. You look better with that; well, your whole body was freezing. You finally arrived at the apartment complex a few minutes later and Sky rang the doorbell and you got buzzed in immediately. When you arrived at the apartment on the third floor, there were people everywhere. The music was pounding and you grimaced, knowing that you would get a headache in the morning from the loud beats.

Sky grabbed your hand and pulled you through the masses of people into the kitchen. While she found a bottle of vodka, you searched for two shot glasses. You wouldn’t survive this night without more alcohol in your system. The two of you drank your shots, a disgusted look on your face.

The next two hours were spent with more alcohol and dancing on the small dance floor to the latest charts. It felt good to finally let loose and just dance with your best friend for a while. But after a while, your legs got heavy and you just mumbled a „Be right back,“ and walked to the bathroom to get some time to breathe.

When you closed the bathroom door behind you, you sighed and watched the girl in the mirror. Your makeup was slightly smudged from all the dancing but other than that, you still looked presentable. But on the inside, you were exhausted and just wanted to go home and sleep. The alcohol always made you tired but there was no way that Sky would actually leave with you right now. When it came to going out, you were polar opposites - while she could stay out until 5 in the morning, you were ready to go to bed after a few shots at midnight.

And since you had promised her to stay with her tonight, you sighed and opened the bathroom again, revealing the same scene you had just left. On your way back to the place where you had left Sky, you tried to make her head out in the crowd. But when you saw a familiar blonde quiff only a few meters above you and those blue eyes, you immediately stopped. The guy was gone but you just stood there, trying to find out if your mind was tricking you.

Suddenly, memories came flooding back and you turned around and ran out of the apartment, in desperate need of some fresh air. You made it out to the hall and slid down the wall, trying to catch your breath. You remembered that hair and those blue eyes. When he was near, his friend was never far away. Your breathing was going fast and you hid your face in your hands, all the emotions came flooding back.

„Y/N is that you??“ You looked up to look into those familiar blue eyes that you hadn’t seen for a whole year. You hadn’t seen him in such a long time and even though he wasn’t the one that caused you anxiety, he was too close for your own liking. But he had never done anything wrong to you, it had been his best friend. But with that, you wanted to stay away from these two boys as far as possible.

„Uhm, hi Harrison, long time no see.“ You mumbled out to your old friend, not sure how to talk to him. Harrison walked up to you, a big smile on his lips, completely surprised that you were here. You on the other side wished that you were somewhere else. One year ago, you tried to put your past behind you. It had worked pretty well so far, but seeing Harrison here was not helping. His best mate couldn’t be that far.

„How have you been?? I haven’t seen you since Tom and you…“ When he said those words you jumped up, your mind spinning. You were not ready to talk about your ex-boyfriend, the boy that broke your heart. The only boy that you had ever loved and just left without an explanation. You hated him and you were damned if you would see him again.

„I’m actually here to have fun and not talk about this right now. I’m sorry, I can’t…“ While you were talking, you stumbled back to the open entrance of the apartment to find Sky. You didn’t care anymore what you had promised - all you wanted was to go home, eat Ben & Jerrys and try to forget about this whole experience. But when you bumped into a broad chest and looked up to meet his chocolate brown eyes, everything came crashing down.

All the walls that you had built up over the last year to show everyone that you were completely fine, they faded to nothing when he realised who was standing in front of him. Oh hell no. He was as beautiful as you remembered - he was still athletic but not too much muscle, his unruly brow twitching. But it seemed like his complete attitude had shifted - gone was the sweet guy that you had met at school two and a half years ago and was replaced by some fuckboy you absolutely hated. Your heart wrenched when he stood there because this wasn’t love - no this was hate for what he had done to you.

And that’s why your legs started moving, back into the apartment to find Sky and get the hell out of here. You found her in the living room where she was grinding on a stranger. You pulled her arm to get her attention, tears running down your face. Sky mumbled something when you tried to gain her attention, but when she finally looked into your face to see your desperation, she jumped into gear. Without questioning what was going on, she pulled away from the guy, grabbed your hand and walked outside without looking back.

Luckily, To and Harrison were gone when you stepped out of the apartment, trying to gain your breath. Sky looked back at you to make sure that you were safe to walk home and you just nodded, showing her that you would be fine. Someday.

The two of you walked home in quiet, both of you following your own thoughts. Your brain was running wild, trying to figure out how he was in the same city as you, far from home. Clearly, he was a student here too and there was no way that you wouldn’t see him again. You started crying again, unable to control your emotions. Why was life so unfair? Why couldn’t he just stay out of your life like he had done for the last year??

Uni was tough but Tom fucking Holland just made it just three times worse.

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[onepunchmiss]

OPM s2 e9 Live Blog

“The Troubles of the Strong”

GOSH DANG 2 HOUR COMMUTES FROM WORK I woke up at 4am just to get to work early specifically so I could leave early I could watch this episode sooner because THIS IS THE EPISODE IVE BEEN WAITING FOR FOREVER OK Ive just been vibrating at my desk all day fluctuating somewhere between ‘awerstdyfcvgbjhkn’ and ‘SADFVYNTBGVRFCE’ IM NOT mentally or emotionally prepared so WITHOUT FURTHER DELAY IMMA WATCHHHH

as always I’m watching from the perspective of someone who is up to date on the Web comic and Manga

“I know that head” *Immediatley cuts to opening theme* I SCREAM i wasnt expecting that nor am I prepared to see Zombieman not even the same 2 pictures of him that ive seen all season help my stomach is in knots and i cannot

asdfghjkl I can tell already this live blog is gonna be SOOOOO BIAS just cause IM WAITING for THE THING annd the rest is great and all but I CANT FOCUS ON ANYTHING Im really not gonna do the episode over all justice im sorry sdfghjk

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I CALLED IT IT WAS SONIC THE DOODLE WAS SONIC i was holding my breath cause I knew there was a VERY SLIM CHANCE it would be Z but i felt it in my gut It would be sonic uhg phew ok not dead yet

lol Bakuzan stopping mid boast and just screaming dude you should’ve known then and there to quit oh my god the music is SO excessive right now I’m very distracted it better be part of the gag… or not ok

Saitama just casually explaining stuff I love him so much sweetheart,,, pft “I was bored”, honestly I just appreciate how anime captures the beats every time Saitama delivers a line like that, we expect it but it never fails to make me cackle. Also, “that kind of strength should be illegal” he says to SAITAMA yeah ok

OH!!!! GENOS BB stop getting obliterated please Dr. Kuseno is old what are you going to do when you can’t rely on him for repairs and EYYY Shout out to Atomic, Tatumaki, Flash, and King for the cameos. Genos, are you really underestimating your Sensei like that?? Are you the real genos?????

OH MY GOD DID THEY JUST GIVE SUIRYU A SAITAMA FACE WHAT IS THIS CURSED IMAGE

ok in all seriousness Suiryu’s voice actor is killin it like I legit feel bad for they guy getting dragged by Saitama, U hav my respect Suiryu I still might not like you all that much but damn u makin me feel that character development

THIS IS SUCH A CUTE FACE

guys I love saitama so much be still my heart it hurts ;-; this scene chouldne be as heart warming as it is right now hhhhhhhhhhh

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH PRISONER PRISONER FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFSDGFSDGS I FORGOT U WERE GONNA SHOW UP I HAVE AN ODD LOVE HATE RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR CHARACTER BUT GD ARE YOU ENTERTAINING AS HELL HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYOU BIG HAPPY IDIOT IM SCREAMING IM SO CONCERNED OH MY GOD THEY SHOWED THE BUTT RINGING I FEEL SO CONFLICTED AM I EXCITED?? SCARED?? PROBABLY BOTH

ok ok ok ok ok ok ok so now that the tournament is officially over I know theres still a lot to cover this ep before Z???? BUT my bloodpressure WILL NOT CALM DOWN cause WHAT IF they do thingS OUT of ORDER IM ON HIGH ALERT HIGH ALERT WHAT IF I DIE

OH HI KING HELP IM HAVING ANXIETY YOU KNOW HOW THAT BE RIGHT MY DUDE aw omg how are they both so cute looking right now??? WAIT also that was a smooth transition from Saitama Face™ to serious face woah ?? You know, with all that talk I wonder what the end game is for Saitama? Like, will the series end seriously or on a joke? He gonna find a real challenge or will it somehow be another one-punch? I am completely undecided tbh…

...i wanted king to finish saying “daze” so badly right thereu said yare yare plz give me the meme plz Ok the way Saitama keeps saying ‘Kinggu’ is weirding me out also ng is great and this is very nicely drawn

...plussireaditinamanga… PFFFTTT the VOICE ACTING-- King is such a good friend for Saitama really thank goodness for him ASDFGHJKL THE WHOLE REST OF THE EXCHANGE IS SO GOOD ‘OK JERKOFF’ im d y i n g

I MISSED YOU PLZ COME BACK TO THE REGULARLY SCHEDULED BEING A LIL SHIT PLZ UR BEAUTIFUL also the king movements on the bike looked pretty neato

OK Honestly though why does no one know what the Hero Hunter is supposed to look like?? How is that not common knowledge among heroes by now?????

SCREECHING IM SCREECHING THE SECOND MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THIS EPISODE (i hope???? its running kinda late and I’m worried???????) THE NINJAS THE NINJA DUO ITS THEMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM theyre so pretty i cri ????

OK MONSTER WIND LOOKS REALLY COOL I DIG I DIGGGG also I REALY dig the ominous music  and as this scene is nearing its end MY HEART IS POUNDING HELP  

MARSHALL  GORILLA IM HYPERVENTILATING AND SCREAMING AND MY PALMS ARE SWEATING ARM SPAGHETTI HELP MY EYES ARE WATERING TOO

my hands are shaking as im typing and i cant stop laughing nervously and my through is dry this is NOT NORMAL typing is hard im afraid to push play im afraid

its been 5 minutes i cant push play i cant

I MADE A MISTAKE THEY DIDNT SHOW THE OTHER HEROES FIRST HES ON MY SCREEN I CANT STOP  MY LEGS SHAKING I BREATHE

tfw ive been just mumbling oh my god oh my god nope nope nope for 10 minutes help help help nope

hes on my screen but i cant push play i cant open the tab i cant

everything is so much easier if i didnt FEEL but I have FEELINGS \

I cant even look at him i cant hes too perfect help

30 minutes i can breathe but like shaking ???? ???

ok it only took 45 minutes alright ok ok ok open the tab and PUSH the BUTTON

I lied it took an hour i still cant look at the screen im gonna die this man will be the death of me I CANT GO 2 SECONDS WITHOUT PAUSING AND SCREAMING WHY CAN I REREAD THE CHAPTER OVER AND OVER BUT CANT LISTEN TO HIM FOR 2 SECONDS WHY

OK im gonna start counting how many times I’ve paused from now on its been AT LEAST 8 so lets start there.

9

10

11 long pause his voice im crying his face

12

13 just look at him I cant my stomach

14 “DRAT” help me

15 i keep switching tabs but cant push play again oh no

16

17

18 I just noticed he definitely has eyebrows here asdfghjkl

19

20

21

NO COME BACK TORTURE ME SOME MORE WITH YOUR PERFECT GENERAL PRESENCE that was the most exhausting 1.5 hours asdfghjkl what if they dont make a season 3 what if I never see him in motion again what if i just die

OH MY GOD DRIVE KNIGHT MY MYSTERIOUS SON THANK YOU I CAN BREATHE DISTRACT ME PLZ

WAIT

DESTROCHLORIDIUM I CANT HANDLE THIS EPISODE I JUST REALLY CANT I JUST AND THE HEKKIN CAPTION HE GOT A BAD CASE OF THE RUNS AND OMFG MY FAVORITE GAROU MOMENT FROM THE MANGA THUS FAR NEXT WEEK I !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i… no recap this week. i think my feelings on the ep are obvious.  Thanks for reading and somehow managing to get this far? I appreciate yall so much really. Thank you for following me being nuts as I am. I seriously mean it. I’ll see yall next week with the next with the next episode!

[tentastic-yu-ki]

just pentagon things

(with links to stuff !!)

this took me so long to make heheh but i hope you like it !! <3

jinho

v o c a l s from the gods

god herself cast her hands upon him and now he has the voice of a million angels

doing ALL the parts in bohemian rhapsody bc of course

HIGH NOTES

grandpa #1

a lil bean :’)

fake maknae

his fluffy bangs during naughty boy era are on the list of my favorite things ever

his cheeks y’all

ok but he looks eerily similar to jiheon from fromis_9 when they smile idk if i’m the only one who sees it but

whenever he does the little wave thingy you know what i’m talking about

he sings in fluent english and it makes my heart flutter every. single. time.

lowkey done with the rest of the members but loves them so much

yuto lifting him up at the end of naughty boy relay dance is basically that one scene from the lion king

tbh the members are always lifting him up and it’s precious

his lil cape during shine

hui

hwitaek in general is just bsidjsbdhdb

such a good leader :’)

i have no talent

mr hwitaek has all the talent

if i’m lucky some of mr hwitaeks talent may rub off on me

i just ?? love him ??!

his piano playing in the gorilla acoustic video makes me weak in the knees

pentagon of leader

y’all remember his twin brother manuel

i play jazz piano and holy shit i could only hope to gain half the talent he has in his hands alone let alone his vOICE

grandpa #2

i have so much appreciation for him and i look up to him a whole lot as a musician i just don’t know how to express my love

critical beauty was his era bitches

constantly being corrected by hongseok

such a groovy ass mf

lee hwitaek vs the english language

he is gorgeous !??!? kills me with his gaze

smile needs more appreciation

he killed it in triple h especially his vocals in 365 fresh

jangjigi jangjigi jang jang jang

hongseok

muscles

ABS :0

‘can i have a bite’ lmao

the group mom

but he’s a cool mom

his eyes are so frickin adorable :’)

absolutely hilarious oh my god

good ass storyteller

two words: his. lips.

his laugh is precious guys like i can’t

this video from the real man

when he shaved his hair off before the real man 300

hongseok x jinho ?? cute as hell

just lovely

such an underappreciated member

i stg whenever he speaks english it’s either to correct somebody, say hi to international fans, or its something completely ridiculous and i love it

e’dawn

y e l l i n g

he and hyuna being a power couple

Y E L L I N G

popping dancing

owned the gorilla era imo

Y E L L I N G

!! tattoos !!

a whole plant dad

his hairstyle suits him so well omg

did i mention yelling

i wish the best for him (and hyuna) and he’ll always be a part of pentagon in our hearts <3

his eyes when he smiles :’))))

video of him yelling in case you don’t know what i’m talking about

also this

I MISS HIM

S U P P O R T H I M or i’m coming for u

also support p nation !!

shinwon

hot shinwon yeah u want ?!

the visual

like the man is a whole model

i kinda just want to sit and have tea with him he seems like that kind of friend

his legs are so underrated

his breathy laugh is amazing

probably slowly losing his patience with the members

when i first got into pentagon i was like hm he seems like the mature one

but none of them are the mature one

booger

VOICE CRACK OF THE CENTURY

we will never forget

it seems like in fanfics he’s always some sort of ceo or manager or fashion designer and i’m here for it

always providing quality content whether he realizes it or not

always providing quality content whether we realize it or not

trying to make food while hui was asleep and then realizing he didn’t have chopsticks

his name is actually shinpon excuse you

absolutely losing his shit during the sha la la don’t smile challenge (13:11)

can you really blame him tho it was funny as hell

screaming + running in fear? shinwon invented that.

yeo one

he cares so much about universe :’)

compilation of him asking universe if we’ve eaten today because he cares

him almost kicking himself in the face that one time i can’t find the video agh

super lovable and wholesome

ok but his teeth

his smile is just so pretty ???

boi is drop dead gorgeous

so pure and just HKSNSBSJS

his asmr videos? yes king

he really expected me to sit there for almost an hour listening to him whisper the members names over and over?

and he was right because i did

yeo one makes me feel the same things i did when i saw bubbles in the air at disney world for the first time

he’s just like that

boyfriend material

HOW DARE I ALMOST FORGET THE SPONGEBOB IMPRESSIONS

saRANGhaeYOoOoo~

the boy is hilarious

yanan

aNNYEONG CHINGUDEUL

he just reminds me of a whole bottle of sprinkles yknow

like if rainbow sprinkles were a person

it’s yanan and yanan only

high note battle with jinho

he’s tol but his voice is smol

“don’t talk with me”

earrings lmao

probably smells like vanilla tbh

‘can you please edit this out?’

he’s literally gonna give me cavities with his sweetness

just from looking at pics of him

i like don’t even know what to say he’s just a ball of sunshine :’)))

so sweet i could put him in my coffee

he deserves so much more that he gets

sUCH A SWEET SOUL UGH~!

i’m running out of ways to reiterate that yanan deserves all the love in the world

y’all better appreciate him or i’m coming for u and ur whole family

he’s just out here chillin, his smile making the world a better place

my uwus? gone. snatched if you will

yuto

it’s ya boy toto

Y U T O D A

him being spooked by ghost stories

cLINGY !!!!!

two words: back. hugs.

i want a yuto hug hmph :((

his laugh is so cute i just-

him being spooked by the dark

NICO NICO NIIII~

his guy-fieri-reminiscent shirt

(you know the one)

him being spooked in general

i will protect this boy with my LIFE

we need more yuto aegyo

but also his visuals make me spontaneously combust

somebody call the fire brigade yknow

when he had the eyebrow slit i cried

im at a loss for how to express my love for adachi yuto

can i have his dangly earrings pls thanks

he’s always feeding everybody it’s so cute

our nagano boy :’)

cough excuse me i had something in my throat i meant our nagano pRINCE

this video of his ‘high note’ and wink never fails to make me laugh

he reminds me of this guy ive had a crush on for a long while ?? like personalitywise they’re oddly similar,, he’s cute n shy but also tall and vv clingy ??? and he recently started doing his hair differently and it’s literally yutos hairstyle i almost stopped breathing ok

also his hugs feel like what i imagine a yuto hug would feel like and i only realized it just now as i’m writing this

kino

he’s my little honeybunch cinnamon apple sugarplum gumdrop babyboy

i just love kang hyunggu a whole lot if you can’t tell by um

the rest of my blog

my profile image

my lockscreen ffs

do i even need to say that he’s my bias

duality? he invented that.

hyunggu being a cutie patootie vs kino being rUDE AS HELL

like he’s a grape juice box and a whole ass bottle of fine wine yknow what i mean

the lace blindfold ?? somebody pinch me

knnovation

i mean have y’all heard voicegasm ??

he did that shit

he’s under arrest for stealing my heart~

(and my uwus)

i don’t even need to say it bc y’all already know but he’s the dance KING

the violet bby

“he’s sensitive”

when hyojong changed the number song lyrics to joke about him being sensitive (2:25)

when he wears big sweaters :’)

i miss his lil ponytail during naughty boy

ppl never talk about this but he’s surprisingly good at languages ?!?

his laugh is one of my favorite sounds on the planet

that one move in can you feel it (01:55 in the mv) gets me every. single. time.

the kino list is long but i just have so much love for this boy

wooseok

he a long boi

HIS DIMPLE

i cant find the vid but there’s this one moment at a fansign or something where he just stepped over the table like it was a completely normal thing to do ?!???!?

HIS FACE IS SO VISUALLY PLEASING

i keep getting shocked over and over about how generally handsome he is

any hair works on him like ??? magic ?!?

screaming during lost paradise

and most songs

and most of the time anyway

i love him lots and lots tho

can pull off the goth look

can pull off the emo look

can pull off any look

he belongs in an opera lmfaooo

E X T R A

BUNNY BUNNY WOOSEOK WOOSEOK

his acrostic poems

i’m a star ? that shit sLAPS

this boy is carrying the entire rap industry on his bACK

i’m sad that i cant think of more stuff for wooseokie

[b00bconnoisseur]

60 questions for @not-my-brain

1. selfie.......Ugghhhh ok. Imma take one rn

Ok here u go (yes thats a bmth shirt)

2. what would you name your future kids?.....Ooo hmmm well when i was a kid i really liked the names disney, and mesiah. I didn't know at the time that mesiah was another name for god i think lol. I liked it cause of handlers mesiah. I still do. Ooo and maybe Tj too

3. do you miss anyone?......Yeah. My friends on Pinterest from a year ago. My friend lucas. Stan lee. Bob ross. My cousin who died from cancer some years ago. Snape. Sirius. Lupin. Tonks. Dobby. *continues to name every unfortunate death in hp*

4. what are you looking forward to?.......SE-YA next month!! Its the south eastern young adult festival at this college. You can have meet n greets with authors and alot of stuff its the besstttt

5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?......DEFINATELY. @dirtysocke @mysisterlooksforthisaccountsobye @cristal-kyd1280 @sammchenry my friend lucas and @septembersbloom. ^^

6. is it hard for you to get over someone?..... What like...romantically? Or like a death? If romantically uhhh idk it took over a couple weeks but im ok now. Ive never had another relationship so idk. If death oof yeah idk maybe. Ig it depends on how much i knew them idk. Like when my nanny (great grandma) died i was sad for days (is that alot?)

7. what was your life like last year?.....Sucky af. Still is. But the highlights of my life last year was getting and making friends on tumblr, going to the tøp concert and going to warped tour, volunteering at the library, going to seya and meeting some of my favorite authors, reading, changing and improving my art, listening to all the bands i listen to now, getting into more fandoms, going to a friends house for the first time

8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?.......Yes lol. Some years ago when i couldn't find smtn id be so annoyed and pissed id start crying. I dont now but still lol

9. who did you last see in person?.......Hm ig family doesn't count....? Wait do u mean a friend? If so uhh my friends rebekah, anika, and Judah at a TAB meeting at the library sometime last month.

10. are you good at hiding your feelings?......I think so? Like i mean I can hide whenever i get my....time of the month from my mom (talking abt stuff like that with her makes me uncomfortable) and i hid a breakup. And other p big stuff too. So imma say yeah

11. are you listening to music right now?........*pops on earbuds after reading this* yee im listening to bitch lasagna by pewdiepie xD (do i have the best spotify playlist or what?)

12. what is something you want right now?.......To hug @mysisterlooksforthisaccountsobye but SOMEONE has to live so far away

13. how do you feel right now?........Happy that my earbud still works cause they got washed in the wash yesterday....oops. Its not my fault. I told my dad to remind me to take it out of my jacket pocket before they threw it in but noooooo he forgot

14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?.......Uhhhhh fuck idk it was probably from my lil 4 yr old bro sometime last week. Other than him (hes my favorite sibling) i dont let them hug me too much

15. personality description.......Nerdy. Fangirl. "Emo". Tomboy. Hotsause obsessed. Book lover. Music lover. Black. Blue. Harry potter. Introvert. Fall. Sports. Values friendship. Loyal. Uhhhh i cant think of much lol

16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?.......*sigh* yes. Yes yes yes. Theres some things abt me, or my life really, that i havent told anyone on here or my irl friends that i sooooo want to so bad but i haven't cause i feel like they'd feel bad and pity me and i don't want that

17. opinion on insecurities........I dont really understand this one. Everyones insecure abt something. Is this askin like if i think its ok or not? I say its ok. Im insecure about literally everything about me. My face. My personality. My socialness. My art. What i do. What i say. Basically my whole body. The things i feel good abt are my books, music taste, and my friends (ily fuckers)

18. do you miss how things were a year ago?.........Hmm this time around a year ago....idk its sorta the same but all the stuff i mentioned abt my year from last year didn't happen yet so nah tho my life sucks rn its better than this time last year

19. have you ever been to New York?........Nooo but i want too soo baddd i wanna visit @septembersbloom !! Im coming for ya soon gramps *does the eye watching thing* my dads been to nyc before tho cause he does construction and he had a concrete job to do there. It was a 23 hr drive for him

20. what is your favourite song at the moment?........Uhhh idk!!! So hard! Maybe.....the whole thats the spirit album by bmth ;)

21. age and birthday?.....15 yrs of age and September 27th 2003 (whats yours brainy? I'll put it on my calendar)

22. description of crush......Its weird idk im not sure if its a genuine crush or not but uh....They like hp :).Thats all u get

23. fear(s).......Losing my best friend @dirtysocke and my other friends. Death. Failure. Momo chasing after me then killing me slowly keeping my eyes open to look her dead in the eyes while i die

24. height......5'6 call me short and I'll fuck u up with THIS *pulls out trusty potato peeler named now steve* dont test me boi

25. role model......Hhhhhhhh so many! But uh gosh one of them is @superraedizzle (youtuberrrr) and vexx and bob ross and da vinci and aaaaaaa so many

26. idol(s)......First person that immediately comes to mind is @sammchenry cause he's super cool and he's really nice and his art's reallyyy good (if u havent seen it w-w-what are u even doin with your life?) And he has a great sense of humor and *continues to ramble about why samms the best*

27. things i hate.......Dabs. Transphobes. Homophobic ppl. Basically any hate on the lgbtq+ community. Bullies. The ship starker. Umbridge. Snape haters

28. i’ll love you if….....U you'll eat pizza, draw, and rp harry potter with mee

29. favourite film(s)......Fantastic beasts. Every hp film. Twilight. The maze runner 1-2. The hunger games. Spiderman homecoming. Kingsman: secret service. Into the spideyverse tho i havent seen it yet

30. favourite tv show(s)......Inkmasterrrrr. B99. The mick. The middle. Uhhh idk mostly ink master xD

31. 3 random facts........Ive never had shrimp. I had a beta fish for over a year once. Im eating pizza crust rn

32. are your friends mainly girls or guys?.......G i r l s. I have all girl friends irl and one boy. And on tumblr it seems like i just meet girls? Likei agree with @cristal-kyd1280 its like alot more gals then dudes here. But i do have some guy friends on here too. But mostly girls

33. something you want to learn.......TO DRAW ANATOMY DAMMIT

34. most embarrassing moment........Every moment of my lifes an embarrassing moment. Idk of i can pick a "most" embarrassing one. But one time i i sent my crush (now ex bf) a hey fuckface and like some hearts or whatever for an ask game that meant like "i have a crush on u" "youre adorable" etc and said Hewo but i did it all anonymously. But he confronted me askin if i sent it cause im the only person he knows that actually says hewo lol. Then later on i finally admitted i really liked him and well y'all know the story after i think. Unless you're new

35. favourite subject.......A R TTTT OFC

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?........meet my friends on tumblr. Get into mtsu (college i wanna go to) and study art. And go skydiving

37. favourite actor/actress........favorite actor uhhhhhh probably thomas brodie sangster or tom felton and my favorite actress? Hmmm idk maybe evanna lynch (luna lovegood)

38. favourite comedian(s).......probably kevin hart lol he's p funny

39. favourite sport(s)........basketballllllll and football

40. favourite memory........uhhhhh idk?? One oh my favorite memories was when we went to see tøp in concert

41. relationship status.....single as a pringle

42. favourite book(s)......harry potter and the order of the pheonix. Harry potter and the half blood prince. Simon vs the homo sapiens agenda. Divergent. Maze runner. Twilight. Fangirl. Fallen. Red queen

43. favourite song ever.......TOO HARD DONT MAKE ME CHOOSEEEEEE

44. age you get mistaken for.........16 and 17 sometimes lol

45. how you found out about your idol........i was watching someone on yt and superraedizzle always poped up in my feed and my mom turned on one of her vids cause she always saw her vids too now ive seen most of em i love her. Id heard of vexx but never watched him and i was watching a collab from anthony miller art and shrimpy and i checked out shrimpys channel and was lookin at comments and alot of ppl said his art is like vexxs so i checked out vexx. At first i was like eh ok. Now i cant click fast enough when he posts a vid. And i actually fpund out about bob ross from my grandpa on jan 20 2017 when trump was getting sworn in or whatever. We turned on pbs and my grampa told me to look and bob ross was on and i was IN. I loved it. I even started watching full episodes on YouTube of the joy of painting after that. Wonderful man. My first painting i ever did i think was when i followed one of his tutorials xD (i didnt know it was popular at the time)

46. what my last text message says......."ok your turn"

47. turn ons.....uhh nerds ig idk um book lovers, music lovers, art lovers, potterheads, idk and nice ppl

48. turn offs......jerks. Homophobia. Idk ig whatever i said in things i hate

49. where i want to be right now......uhhhh idk wait didn't i already answer this? Ok this ones different ig so uhh with my friend lucas

50. favourite picture of your idol.....oh shit...favorite? Idk xD i have a fave of vexx but not of rae or bob. But heres pics of them any way

51. starsign......a libraaaaa boiii

52. something i’m talented at......drawing and speed reading. Thats about it lol. Oh and procrastina

53. 5 things that make me happy.......ooooo art, my friends here on tumblr, books, harry potter, and music ^^

54. something thats worrying me at the moment.....if my friend thinks im being annoying

55. tumblr friends......hhhhh so manyyyyyy. @dirtysocke @mysisterlooksforthisaccountsobye @cristal-kyd1280 @chinesewaffles2 @kingantlion @queen-baelin @sammchenry @septembersbloom and more

56. favourite food(s)......green beans, pepperoni pizza, and vanilla madelines

57. favourite animal(s).......basically any reptile. Puppies. Cats. Any animal really but my #1 are snakes

58. description of my best friend.....well she's a tiny bean (5 feet) and she has dark hair, she wears glasses, she doesnt take shit, she's in love with Josh dun, she's awesome, funny, nice (YES youre nice jackie) and shes the best friend ive ever had. Oh. And she has a weird obsession with spaghetti

59. why i joined tumblr.......well i heard abt it on Pinterest over a year ago but didnt want it. Then @mrfastbass-deactivated20181231 on DeviantArt said he got tumblr so i made one then followed him and figured id just post art and that's it cause i thought tumblr was boring as hell when i first got it. Now im p much obsessed with it

60. ask me anything you want.......go ahead brainy shoot. Give me smtn good

[loadingluke]

Day of stage one RFF phalloplasty

Recovery days 1 and 2

FRIDAY 1/2

5:18am: I woke up 2 minutes before the alarm. Maddy and I woke up about the same time, I gave her a hug and we got ready for the day.

5:25am: I had a shower, my last shower before surgery. I washed myself with some antibacterial cleanser and brushed my teeth.

5:47am: Mum and Maddy had some coffee and tea, and I had nothing. We had a little bit of a chat before surgery.

6:03am: we left the house and headed to the hospital. We were all a little in shock by how bright it was. The sun was up when we woke up at 5:20! No daylight savings and just being a little more tropical I guess. There were heaps of people out and walking their dogs.

6:46am: we made it to the surgery check in counter- we got a little lost! Just waiting in line to check in. It was mainly done online so it shouldn’t take too long.

6:55am: everything is all sorted. I paid for my excess and now I’m just waiting for the nurse.

7:18am: I went in for my questions. Mum and Maddy waited outside. Then we went to the bay area and I changed out of my clothes and into my gown. Dr Goossen came in and went over everything again, so everyone knew what was going to be happening. He said he’d ring mum once i was out to keep her up to date.

7:32am: I was wheeled down into the anaesthetic room and met my anaesthetist, Dr Booth. He went over my history again and put an IV in my hand. I was wheeled into theatre, but due to some issue the surgery was delayed. I was given something to relax me while we waited to get the go ahead. I’m not sure how long I was waiting for or when the op actually started because of that, but I believe it was about half an hour? (edit: I found out later that it actually was an hour and a half, it definitely didn’t feel like that) The nurses were really nice, we talked about game of thrones, trashy TV and Harry Potter. By pure coincidence, thinking out loud by Ed Sheeran was playing- the same song that was playing when I was going under for my top surgery!

~5:20pm: I came to in recovery. I wasn’t in too much pain, my arm was all wrapped up and there was a lot of padding around the phallus. I felt surprisingly good. I had a button to press for fentanyl if I needed it. They did the doppler on the phallus to check blood supply, and I could hear that it was nice and strong. Hans and Scott came down to see how I was going and I got to actually see it....and I cried a little. Not my finest moment and probably to do with the meds, I was just so happy that It’s THERE! My pain was sitting at about a 3/10, and it was mainly sore on my butt incisions and my groin incision on the right side. I could wiggle my fingers well. My hand was a little cold so the nurse wrapped the gallows in a warm blanket to warm them up a bit- worked a treat! I was taken to my room.

~7:20pm: I got to my room, mum and Maddy were there. I was able to chat to them for a bit. I wasn’t allowed to eat anything but I had a little bit of water.

Overnight I had some routine obs done every hour. This involved my blood pressure, temperature and pulse being taken, a doppler on my phallus to check blood flow, wiggling my fingers and checking blood perfusion and finally my pain out of 10. Surprisingly, even with all of that every hour, I still had a pretty good sleep! My pain never got higher than a 5/10. My arm didn’t bother me too much either which is good. It was really weird sometimes. It felt like my arm was in a different position to where it actually was, for example in my head I thought it was lying across my chest when really it was in the sling hanging up. I would sleep pretty much from when the nurse left until she came back again.

I’ve got quite a few bits and bobs coming out of me, this is the setup we’ve got going on: My right arm is up and in a sling. I have a lot of padding around my groin, including a drain from my abdomen. There’s a drain coming out of my phallus and a catheter in my new urethra to keep it open, as well as one in my current urethra for voiding. In my left arm I have two IVs- one with my saline and fentanyl and one spare. I’m on oxygen for the time being as well. I have to wear compression socks and pumps on my legs as well to prevent swelling . A lot is happening and going on lol. My night was just sleeping and having my obs done.

SATURDAY 2/2

8:40 am: Hans came in with another urologist to take a look at how I was healing. He said I will probably get the drain out of the phallus on Sunday if it continues with how it has been healing which is good. He is happy with how the blood supply is going. He said the nerve hookup went well and that I should have pretty good sensation once the nerves grow back. We discussed the incisions behind the bum and I asked if they were stapled like how it’s done in the UK. Huzzah, sutured! I thought they would be but it was comforting all the same. The last thing I’d want would be to have staples removed from below my butt. He said that depending on who was around on Sunday I may be allowed to get out of bed which would be amazing. Fingers crossed.

9:00am: catering came by and I was given some breakfast. I had some toast and jam, and some orange juice.

I was also moved to be in right position as I couldn’t reach my breakfast properly. Two nurses moved me further up the bed so I was in a more comfortable position. First they laid the bed flat then slid a red-silk piece of material underneath me by getting me to roll onto my side and sliding the material underneath my butt. Then I rolled back onto my back, they pulled the material through so it was properly underneath me and then used it to pull me up the bed. I wasn’t strong enough in my legs to push myself up the bed.

9:20am: I had some blood taken. The guy who was doing it seemed a little confused as to why a 22 year old man was here all the way from Melbourne. I just went with it lol.

~9:30 am a nurse came in and have me hot towels for sponge bath. She left me to my own devices and wiped down face and body as that was all I could reach. It was refreshing. The nurse said she would change sheets later, probably tomorrow (Sunday) and I didn’t really think anything of it. Relaxed for a while and waited for Maddy, mum and a friend from school who happened to be in Brisbane to come and visit.

11:30 - just as my visitors arrived, two nurses came in and were confused as to why my sheets hadn’t been changed earlier and offered to do it for me. It was a similar process to how they move me further up the bed earlier with the silk. I rolled onto my side, they removed the old sheets and tucked the new ones under my butt. I then rolled onto my other side so they could pull the sheets through. They also replaced the absorbent sheet underneath me as I was oozing from my incisions a bit (perfectly normal but a little gross).

I had some time with my girlfriend, Mum and a friend from school. We hung out and had a bit of a chat which was nice. I felt quite awake and alert and was able to talk quite freely. They stayed until about 1:00pm, and also came back later at about 4:00pm. I had a nap in between. Throughout the whole day I also continued having hourly checks from the nurses.

SUNDAY 3/2

Overnight Saturday was similar to the first night but I was more restless so I didn’t sleep as well. It was very warm overnight, i has the fan on but my legs were still quite sweaty and itchy as a result of the combination of compression socks and the pumps on my legs as well as my leg hair. It was very itchy and hard to sleep because it kept tickling.

~8am on Sunday I had antibiotics and after that I had a sudden wave of nausea and felt like I would throw up. I told the nurse and she gave me a bag right away and I just allowed the wave to pass. I didn’t end up throwing up but I did come close to doing so. I was given some anti-nausea medication intravenously and that helped a lot.

~9:30am I asked if I could have my sheets changed as I felt really sweaty and clammy. It was pretty busy though so I had to wait for the nurses to be free. At about 10am Hans’ registrar came in and had a look at the phallus. There was minimal swelling and it was looking good so he removed the small drain from it. I couldn’t feel it. Once it was removed there was a little bit of bleeding coming out of the tip, but not much at all. He said everything was looking good. I video called some friends in Melbourne and then called Maddy to see what they were up to today.

~11:30am, a nurse came in to change over my sheets and give me a sponge bath. Boy, it was worth the wait! She wiped down my legs and changed my compression socks over, and then changed my sheets. It made me feel so much better, but did tire me out a bit. Maddy and Mum came over to visit me, and I had some fruit. Since Maddy is leaving Monday she got to stay for the day. We watched some TV together, but I was very exhausted so a lot of the time was spent with me asleep and her holding my hand (I love you for that Maddy, sorry I was so boring xx)

~3:30pm: Hans called me to see how I was traveling. He said I seemed to be doing well and said my blood work came back normal. He said he’d be in Monday morning to check up on me, and that I should be able to get out of bed then! How exciting!

~6pm Mum came back and her and Maddy helped get me some dinner. I had some decaf tea and juice, and that definitely helped give me a little more strength. I’ve got some fruit next to me that I can pick at overnight if I’m feeling peckish.

~6:30pm mum and Maddy left. Dr Ingram came down to check on me and he was also happy with how it was all going. He said he would touch base over the next few days and to let him know if I have any questions.

7:13pm: my last hourly check! The past 48 hours have been absolutely exhausting, mainly because I had to be woken up every hour for my check ups! Now that it’s been 48 hours I can drop down to checks every 2 hours. Doesn’t sound like much but I’m very keen for that.

9:27pm: I had the second spare cannula removed from my hand- it was just getting annoying at this point. My IVs also were falling off due to the tape, so a nurse has given me a little glove to keep them in place, and it’s worked a treat.

10:03pm: I’ve just finished off these notes and I’ll post them ASAP. All in all, pain has stayed consistent at about 3-4/10. Still have an IV and my arm in the sling. Still have my fentanyl button and oxygen. Legs are still in the pumps. I still have a catheter but that should come out tomorrow, along with my abdominal drain.

The catheter in the phallus will stay there, along with all the padding around it and my arm until I leave the hospital. I’m feeling a little more mobile, I can move my legs a little and scoot up if I’m too low on the bed, but that’s all the movement I’ve really been allowed to do for now. I’m gonna sleep now and will update in the morning hopefully when I’m allowed out of bed!

Thanks for all the kind words and support and I hope this has been helpful/interesting 😄

[happinessinthedarkest-times]

avengers endgame reaction (spoilers!!!)

**if youre on mobile scroll fast bc idk if the keep reading works

holy shit holy shit fuck fuck fuck

i am an emotional wreak right now

ahhhhh it was so good im crying still

tony fucking stark my heart i guess ill start there 

tony stark i love you three thousand. he got his happy ending with morgan and pepper for 5 years they had 5 years together and he knew that the time heist (lol) would jeopardize that and he still went and helped

that scene where he had it out with steve at the beginning fuck my heart was breaking and i was crying .

i cried a lot in this movie. legit sobbing when nat died but ill get to that

that scene was everything i wanted it to be and perfectly executed. of course hes angry and lashing out because they were supposed to do it together and lose together and the emotion behind that ughh rdj killed it

he literally hands steve his heart the arch reactor

tony and howard ugh everything with them together. tony got closure with his dad 

everything tony was great. 

steve 

he got his happy ending. he got his dance with peggy (now im crying again) fuck. and he PICK UP MJOLNIR omg that scene was amazing and everything i never dreamed could happen when the hammer started moving ughhhh omg i was cheering so loud in the theatre and i dont normally do that. that whole scene ugh theres so much to react to

and he got to say assemble. 

ok now from the beginning. 

i started to cry literally before it even started. the screen was black and i was already tearing up but when clint and his daughter came up and then his family disappeared i was full on crying.

carol coming in clutch and saving tony and nebula yessss

steve and tony’s conversation right when he gets off the ship was everything i wanted it to be. (crying again) everything. 

when they go to thanos’s house thing and thor chops off his arm . its what ive been saying they shouldve done on titan 

and then he went for the head! 

five....... 

years later

fuck them. literally when the ‘five’ came up i was like no no no dont you dare do it dont you dare and then they did it. fuck them

five fucking years?!?! they made them live through 5 years of that trauma?!?!? 

nat was everything in this film. she became the leader and keeping track of everything and her moment of breaking down was just so human. she couldnt move on in those 5 years and it just shows how much the avengers had become her family. 

scott and cassie omg cassie all grown up made me so emotional 

tony and morgan i love you three thousand she is the cutest and sweetest thing 

tony fucking stark figured out time travel. he did that. 

when tony gives steve his shield back my heart could not take it

the scenes where they were trying to pinpoint the exact time to go back and it was like a sleepover sesh and all the domestic avenger fanfics 

going back a little bit

clint killing all the people that should have been killed and deserved to be killed and being a total badass showing up all those people who said he was just really good with an arrow and every scene he has with nat.

‘dont give me hope’

thor. oh where to start. he really did lose everything and he was blaming himself for all that happened so i get where hes coming from. every time you could see him remembering and tormenting himself about what happened broke me. his scene with his mother (crying again)

also hulk/bruce was an interesting choice (not a huge fan of it but ok) 

the time traveling

everything about the new york scenes were amazing. the aftermath of the end of the avengers, loki turning into cap for a second, seeing rumlow and sitwell come out, steve getting into the elevator and channeling that winter soldier energy (i was slapping my sister on the arm so hard at this part) hail hydra and outsmarting them all. cap fighting cap “i can do this all day” lmao i was dying ‘bucky is alive” again dying they really nailed it with this. i was worried beforehand because like it would change how we would see the og avengers but i still think it works

also can talk about how tony (and scott) was checking out steves ass????

“i forgot how that suit did nothing for you ass” (be still my heart) “i like to think of it at america’s ass” (or whatever the line was) 

loki getting away with the tesseract (is that in this timeline im confused about that hopefully someone will explain bc does that mean loki is alive in this timeline or not? lol)

them going back to the 1970s (do you trust me? i do) and tony meeting howard and introducing himself as howard potts. again i know i talked about howard and tony already but i loved their scenes. and JARVIS FROM AGENT CARTER MAKING AN APPEARANCE OMG

PEGGYYYYYYY (crying) when steve walked into her office (grabbed my sister again) and when he was watching her through the window and you could feel his pain. 

thor and rocket are the pairing that i never imagined but amazing none the less. i loved that we got the return of mjolnir here even though idk what that does to the timeline (again who knows at this point) 

rhodey and nebula again another pairing i didnt expect but are great together. everything about nebula in this film. she really has a great arch. i was stressing out so hard when the alternate timeline thanos found out that they came from the past. the scene where peter quill is dancing and singing to no music was great.

clint and natasha. this pairing thie duo the og. fuck my heart. when they started going off to vormir i knew. i knew it and i cannot handle it. the whole scene where they are fighting each other to sacrifice themself i was SOBBING. LEGIT SOBBING. ‘let me go’ i loved this so much and also hated it. she deserved her happy ending too. after everything she gave up everything to save those people. her arch is so good too. im excited for her origin. i kinda want to see her when shes a bad guy and killing everyone and her journey to shield. i hope thats what we’ll see in her movie. 

but also that scene emotionally fucked me up hard. 

the og avengers (minus nat) sitting on the edge of the lake 

thor trying to put on the glove and redeem himself (in his own eyes not my own bc he doesnt deserve the shit he gets for not going for the head)

hulk doing it and the calm before the storm where everything goes back before that missile comes firing down. 

steve tony and thor facing off with thanos. everything about this scene. tony getting a juice-up from thor and lightning to max out his powers. steve jump kicking on thanos’s ass. thanos beating up thor and steve coming in with FUCKING MJOLNIR AGAIN CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH HOW MUCH I WAS CHEERING AT THIS POINT HE IS WORTHY MY BOY STEVE IS WORTHY

also on that note tony coming up to steve and saying “theres my man” or something and giving him back his shield again. 

steve standing there with his broken shield ready to face off with thanos’s army and sam coming in on the comm. and then EVERYONE COMING THRU AND KICKING NAMES AND TAKING ASS

legit cheering and crying so much 

valkyrie with her pegasus

shuri with her blasters 

peter parker and his reunion with tony was heartbreaking. tony looked so broken and complete at the same time. he got him back. 

PEPPER FREAKING POTTS 

AVENGERS ASSEMBLE (YEESSSSSSSS)

peter quill’s semi-reunion with gamora and how she doesnt know him but he gets her back

also gamora, nebula and still-evil!nebula was a great scene. nebula killing her past self is some symbolic shit right there AND to protect her sister who she hated

CAROL FUCKING DANVERS COMING TO SAVE THE DAY AND KICK THANOS’S ASS 

im sad that she wasn’t in the film as much but i get why they did it and it also makes me really excited for her future films

but carol getting the gauntlet and peter saying “i dont know how youre gonna get through that” 

and ALL THE BADASS MCU WOMEN COMING UP BEHIND HER READY TO FIGHT AND REPRESENT FOR THE FEMALES (CRYING) 

this is something that couldn’t of been done a few years ago because there weren’t a lot of female superheroes in this universe and just the fact that this scene can make such an impression and become probably one of the most badass scenes of the mcu is one of the best things that came out of this movie.

side note: ‘activate instant kill’ great callback 

and then we get to the sacrifice.

i knew it. i expected it. i read it in fanfics.

i was still not prepared. 

‘I am inevitable’

‘I AM IRON MAN’

FUCKKKKKKKK they really know how to write these movies. 

he knew he would die. he knew he would never see morgan again. but he knew what he had to do. 

his character arch from a selfish man to a selfless man has been the most profound and powerful story. 

rdj and tony stark have really carried this franchise. they were the start. and it makes sense that his death closes out this era of the mcu. 

to rdj: i will never forgive my mom for telling me that she didn’t like you way back when. that really influenced how i thought about you and about tony stark for years. and i limited me from really appreciating and loving iron man and those movies and tony’s character. but as i continued to watch more of you in the mcu and in real life and have seen how you have grown and who you are today, i have so much love and respect for you and your character. im just so upset at the time i lost where i could have fallen even more in love with you. thank you so much for everything you have done over the last 11 years for this franchise. thank you for the time thank you for the memories and the laughs. the journey has been amazing. 

the funeral scene with ‘proof that tony stark has a heart’ 

(also was the the kid from iron man 3 in the back?)

VALKYRIE BECOMING KING (queen? i say king but who knows) of new asgard. look at my killing baby all grown up and being the leader they need.

thor becoming a guardian basically. 

also was quill looking for his gamora? where was the gamora from this timeline on the ship? she wasn’t there in the scene so idk

also fighting with knives to see whos in charge lol

im glad people mentioned/mourned for nat too 

steve rogers 

steve.

i knew he wasn’t coming back.

bucky knew it too.

im wreaked

but at least he got his happy ending. he got his peggy (again idk what that does to her timeline) 

captain sam wilson america in the house.

(old steve looks like joe biden or is it just me lol)

they ended it with a steggy dance and kiss

it really was a perfect end to his story and it wrapped up his character really well. he got that life he deserved 

to chris evans: as this is probably the last time we will see you as captain america let me thank you too for the years and joy that you have brought to my life. youre it for me. you are the reason i became so invested in this world. when you jumped on the fake grenade i was in it with you. chris you are and will always be the best chris in my heart. your passion for this character and understanding of steve rogers and his motivations have created such a memorable performance. steve rogers will always be the og. he will always have my heart. i am so thankful that you took this opportunity and used it and made this character your own. you live up to the standards that steve holds for himself and i am so excited for your future. i am also so glad that you didn’t die in this movie bc i definitely could not have handled it if i had to watch both my favs die. i love you three thousand.

i literally cried throughout the whole movie. there were laughs, cheers, groans, stress, tears, and love throughout this film. i am so grateful that i am alive during this time in cinematic history. there will never be something as great or momentous as this film. a true culmination of 22 films. its never been done and i doubt itll ever be done again

i am also so impressed and amazed by how well this film turned out. it is just amazing how everything fell into place 

im sure ill read other people’s reactions and they will bring up points or problematic things that will taint my view on this movie but i dont want that to ruin my own experience

and for me, this was truly emotionally draining and fulfilling. the feeling of being in that theatre with all those people who love the characters as much as i do and experiencing this film for the first time is something i will never forget. 

people talk about how they remember lining up for star wars.

well i remember sobbing my eyes out when nat died, cheering along with everyone when cap picked up mjolnir and whipped thanos’s ass with it and when carol and the rest of the badass women of the mcu ready to kick ass, crying with everyone as the light went out in tony’s chest and eyes, watching as history was made in front of our eyes.

and the end credits with the og avengers getting recognition with their photos and autographs. 

i love this franchise and these films and these characters i dont know who i would be without them. 

one last thing

thank you to the og avengers. steve tony thor nat clint bruce. chris robert chris scarlett jeremy mark. you will always have a special place in my heart. you were there at the start. you were the reason this all could happen you were the reason i became so invested in these movies. you brought these characters to life and embodied them. you are all so much like your characters the casting is perfect. thank you for your dedication to your work to you fans and to your characters. it means so much that you all stuck through this together and that you are such great friends in real life and i can only hope that one day i can be so lucky as to meet you all and thank you in person. 

[ididnthaveitinmyselftogo]

My Rep Room Experience (omg????)

Okay so Jonathan and I left for Philly around 11:30 and got there around 1ish. We walked around for about 2 hours before we made our way back to the stadium.

We get to our seats and I realized how close I was to the b stage. At one point, I see a woman who I thought was Andrea and my heart DROPS. But then I realize it wasnt her and I tell Jonathan and even show him pictures of Andrea and Scott just in case he spots them. After about an hour, we start walking around and taking pictures and even look for Scott when someone on tumblr had spotted him.

Charlie and Camila both come on and put on AWESOME sets and we’re singing and dancing along to all the songs. Then, its time for Taylor.

I had to hold back tears because I was so excited to see her again after 3 years. I went hard AF from the moment Ready For It? came on and I didn’t stop for anything or anyone. 

During the 2nd verse of Gorgeous, I feel a tap on my shoulder and I turn to look and I see 3 girls (who I think were recording??) kind of surround me and then I realize why.

Andrea fucking Swift was coming over to us.

I gasped so loud and started bawling as she walked over with a huge smile on her face and I thought she was going to the girls in front of us but she stopped right in front of me and said hi and I knew exactly where this was headed. She asked us if we had ever met Taylor and I said no through my tears. Then she asked us what I’ve always wanted to hear: “would you like to meet her tonight?”. I struggled to say yes and she hugged me and gave me the rep room paper and Jonathan took me into his arms and held me before the TN lady asked us for our wrists. After we got the wristbands, Style was half over but I didn’t care because my night was going to end on an amazing note. Thankfully, the wonderful @stephanie-olson captured Andrea talking to us and came up to me to ask for my number so she could text the pictures to me.

Jonathan just held me and held me until I calmed down because I just couldnt believe it. He took a picture of me and the paper and you can see what an ugly crier I am lmao.

People came up to us at random parts of the show to ask if we got rep room and congratulate us and I wish I knew their names so I could look them up and follow them but hopefully we cross paths again.

For the rest of the show, I went just as hard and had the time of my life. Nothing was ruining my night. The fact that she wasn’t able to come to the b stage in front of me was made up by the fact that she sang Our Song, Wildest Dreams, and FUCKING TREACHEROUS WHICH IVE ALWAYS WANTED TO HEAR LIVE BECAUSE HELLO???? BIGGEST TREACHEROUS STAN HERE.

After the show, we immediately went to where the paper said to meet up and I panicked because we didn’t see anyone there and nobody from the venue knew what we were talking about. Eventually some other people found us and we were rounded up to talk about the rules and give them our info.

Once we were in the rep room, it still hadnt sunk in. Jonathan had some of everything and I could barely sip my Sprite because I thought I’d vomit from the nervousness. We found the polaroid cameras and took some pictures that I’ll cherish forever.

After about 20 mins, they told us to line up and put our phones away because Taylor was about to come in. I waited until everyone had lined up so I could be in the back so I had time to prepare myself. When she walked in, everyone screamed and she walked past me and thats when I realized I was actually FIRST in line and panicked. Andrea came up to us and asked us our names and she said she liked mine (and was actually the only person ever to spell it right on the first try) and she (according to Jonathan because I was freaking out) said that she picked us because she loved our energy. She then said “I dont know if you guys want a picture with me....” and we both collectively said YES OF COURSE and took a picture with her. After everything, Jonathan couldn’t stop talking about how nice Andrea was and that he wishes she was his mom and that he wanted to ask her if she wanted to go to brunch lmao.

Then, it was time.

I walked through the curtains and there. she. was.

She said “HEY GUYS!!!!” and came over to us with her arms out and hugged us so tight. SHE IS SO BEAUTIFUL UP CLOSE. She’s literally not human. I was so nervous all I could tell her was that I went to Reading one time for a concert. Thats it. No “I love you”. No “thank you for everything”. My mind went blank and I hate myself for it because it made my experience so awkward and short but I’m still so grateful to have met her. She asked if she could take a picture with us (typical taylor, i almost melted) and we got next to her and I like couldnt believe it. After we finished she thanked us for coming and told us to have a safe drive back and I was in total shock after leaving the stadium. We took 10 steps outside and I literally told Jonathan “I need to cry so bad right now” so we stopped and I just cried some more because I couldnt believe it and I still cant. 

I got the opportunity of a lifetime. I met my idol with the love of my life. I had my 2 favorite people in the world in the same room. I don’t know how my life can get any better.

@taylorswift I hope one day I get to meet you again so I can be less awkward and actually have a conversation with you. I’ll never forget that night.