#i am a prophet /j

[miningroseakira]

TRAFFIC LIFE REAL NOT FAKE?????

my prediction on Perry's life series prediction whiteboard... it came true.... /hj

[nova-moshi]

What if I was the most correct person on planet earth LMAO I PREDICTED THIS 7 HOURS PRIOR? /HJ

My babies......ough my babies

[alittleemo]

guys I cannot believe I’m writing this but I had another dream abt linkedin boy. I appreciate gods commitment to sending me neon signs but I’m still not going to listen <3

[lotus-duckies]

i'm so sorry

[kavehayati]

I’m a descendant of the prophet (kind of) and all I have to show for it is my obsession with an anime blond guy …

[rowanraven08]

IF ITS SASHA I AM GOING TO DIE /POS

In unrelated news: Sasha James for the President for the new IT manager. Like to charge, reblog to cast. 😘

[marauder-misprint]

More James Potter pleasseeee. I'm literally begging. I've never loved a fanfic more, but you only have the one of him :_(

I'm glad you loved Broom Polish! Here is a second James fic! I promise I'm trying to write more for him ❤︎

Crossword

James Potter x fem!reader

567 words

cw: fluff

“I need a five letter word for arrogant…” you say to no one in particular as you do the crossword in your Daily Prophet. 

“Oh, that’s easy,” Marlene says, leaning over your shoulder to look at the puzzle. “James. J-A-M-E-S.”

“What’s up, ladies?” James asks, perking up at the mention of his name. 

Sirius, Remus and Peter go quiet as James turns his body more toward you and Marlene. Marlene gives him a saccharine smile.

“Five letter word for arrogant,” Marlene says. 

Lily chokes back a laugh as James gasps. The boys are also holding laughter. 

“Am not!”

“Just a suggestion,” Marlene replies with a shrug.

“What about cocky?” Mary suggests.

“Or lofty,” Lily adds. 

“Proud?” Remus pipes in.

You hum as you look over the puzzle. 

“Sadly, it’s going to either Mary or Lils. I have a ‘y’ in the down,” you announce. “But for the record, all of those words are synonyms.”

“Even James?” Marlene teases, still smiling that sickly sweet yet knowing smile. 

You reflect that smile. “Even James.”

James scoffs as he turns back away from you. The girls around you are reduced to giggles as the boys return to the conversation that was interrupted, although the other boys seem just as amused as the girls. 

After breakfast, everyone heads to classes. You take up the back of the group, having taken a few seconds longer to shove your paper into your bag. You’re shocked when James falls into step with you rather than intermingling among the rest of the group, namely Lily who was at the front of the group.

“You don’t really think I’m that arrogant, do you?” he asks, keeping his voice steady but low. He sounded confident but not wanting the others to really hear him.

You give him a sideways glance.

“So what if I do? It’s warranted.”

“Is it?”

“I’d say you’re pretty damn conceited. And it was Marlene who suggested it first.”

James sighs. “You hurt me, love.”

“Don’t be so full of yourself then, James.”

“But I’m great!”

“What makes you so great? Convince me.”

“Might be a prefect but I am Quidditch captain. And I’m great at Quidditch. You’d know that if you went to a match.”

You roll your eyes. “I’ve been to matches.”

“So you know I’m the best on the pitch,” he says with a nod. “And I’m bloody brilliant. E’s and O’s on my O.W.L.s.”

“Which surprised us all.”

“I earn a bunch of house points too!”

You snort a laugh. “You lose more than you earn. Don’t forget that!”

He smiles down at you. “Only in the most entertaining ways though. You have to admit that you enjoy our pranks.”

“Only when they don’t actually harm someone.”

James shrugs in a way to say ‘if that’s what you think.’

“Oh!” he exclaims, stopping in his tracks which causes you to stop in yours to give him a confused look. “I’m also sexy and an amazing kisser.”

You cross your arms over your chest. The group didn’t notice that you two had stopped walking and continued on their way to class. 

“There’s that conceitedness, James. You can’t just declare yourself sexy and an amazing kisser.”

“Hm… Care to prove me wrong?” he asks, glancing around the hallway before pulling you into a closet. “I have an eleven letter phrase for a good place to snog.” (broom closet)

[notablenotions]

Letter from Henry to Hans and Jitka

Hans, Jitka,

Will be home soon. Probably. Maybe.

So—I was helping this lad woo his lass. Friendly favour. Next thing I know, I pushed her down a well by accident. It involved a riding crop, a chilled wheel of blue cheese, and several Latin texts. It was very intellectual actually.

Her suitor—some minor lord—wasn't thrilled. Her father even less so. Especially since it was the morning of her wedding.

They imprisoned me. Fair.

I escaped after discovering a locked pantry containing sausages and a suspicious barrel of vinegar. Used the grease to slip through the bars. Dead clever. Shame the manor caught fire. Not sure how.

On the road, I saw a bear. Looked me dead in the eye. Like a person. So I followed it. We sat. Shared some honey. Talked about mortality. Turns out it likes cheese too. Said goodbye—emotional moment.

Then saw something shiny in a river. Went to pick it up. Looked up. Saw a lass dancing in the shallows. Gorgeous. Full of stories and moonlight. We talked, danced, she gave me a rabbit’s foot that smells like old soup. Read my palm, said I’d “get lucky soon.”

We were mid dance when her father appeared. One of the washerwoman’s sons. Fight broke out. Minor fire. Entire field burned. Possibly the house too.

Stole his horse. Rode like hell. Lost horse in a dice game.

But the winner was kind. Told me of his cousin’s second cousin’s mate’s brother’s sheep’s owner’s booze stash.

Went. Drank. Blacked out.

Apparently, in the interim I:

Started a tavern brawl involving ducks

Proposed to five people (two were nuns)

Taught a goose to swordfight

Replaced a priest’s communion wine with mead

Declared myself “King of Turnips”

Bit a knight on the arse during a duel (apparently not mine)

Convinced a choir to sing nothing but tavern songs

Was found napping in the town fountain, wearing only boots and a flower crown

So now I’m in prison. Somewhere. Unclear where. No one will tell me.

P.S. Dunno where Pebbles is.

– Henry

---

Reply from Hans and Jitka to Henry

Hans writes:

Henry.

I am halfway between tears and absolute collapse. You have, in a single letter, shoved a noble’s bride down a well, burned two estates, befriended a bear, started a cult of cheese, corrupted a choir, bit a knight, and potentially launched a goose-based militia.

You are now legally at war with seven noble houses, one abbey, and nature itself.

I don’t know whether to rescue you or run far, far away.

Wherever you are—stay put. We’ll come get you. Probably with disguises.

– Hans

Jitka adds:

Henry,

You’ve become a legend in the worst possible way. There’s talk of a wandering cheese prophet. A goose duelmaster. A man in boots and nothing else blessing crops with song.

Mutt howled at your letter. Again. I think he senses the chaos.

Stay alive. Avoid fires. Don’t shove anyone else down a well. And for the love of God, stop accepting cursed animal parts from strange women.

We’re coming. Don’t move. Don’t speak. Don’t look at any more bears.

– J.

---

Henry King of a side quest

[hobiespick]

Sam Winchester x reader headcanons part 3

<33

a/n: heyyyyyy I had so much fun writting these. I am literally shaking as we speak cuz i'm still kinda shy abt this even tho yall showed me sm love and gave so much positive feedback on the first 2 parts I was giggling, blushing, and twirling my invisible phone cord. Thank you all so much for everything and enjoy my shitty thoughts 🫶💞 + tagging a lovely person who gave me the idea of writting one of these @yinorathedragontamer

Summary/Warnings: tooth rotting fluff, Sam Winchester x gn!reader , Sam being the biggest boyfriend of all boyfriends (im quoting one of my moots), the first headcanon isn't sam x reader it's Jess x Sam (rip to the hottest couple) the headcanon came to me in a prophetic vision and i just had to leave it here, mention of Sam's childhood + I couldn't help myself but make a few headcanons about Dean too.

- I have a deep feeling (i'm an empath) that around college when he was with Jess and he wouldn't leave her side, Sam accidentally got adopted by her girl group of friends - hear me out - he would cling to Jess for his dear life shaking and not wanting to intrude or make him look nosy and Jess's girlfriends wouldn't bat an eye, welcoming Sam with open arms and treating him the same - they are the reason his guilty pleasure is gossiping. One of Jess's (girl)friends coming hurriedly towards the group with a shocked expression and a hand covering her mouth and Sam already knows the tea is scrumptious - he probably got called "girl" so many times - he didn't mind it btw, actually kinda liked it because that means they included him - spreading my "Sam Winchester enjoys the company of female friends more than male ones agenda" like wildfire ‼️ - "wyd when me and my gang pull up" and it's five y2k girls + a preppy blonde girl whose boyfriend is some 6'4 emo kid with a Green Day tee who follows her around with heart eyes

- "Dean, move your leg or I'm throwing your fucking mixtapes out of the window" you threaten annoyed at the audacity of the long ass older Winchester to just stretch out as if you're not both (tired af) in the back seat of baby, you try to find a comfortable position for what feels like the 50th time to stay for a few hours untill all of you make it in one piece to Washington (Dean might not since he is acting like that). "You touch my mixtapes and I might throw you out of the window, runt." Dean barks (lovingly), lifting his sunglasses on his head and pointing a defensive finger at you. You are too tired to think and to retort something snarky back but still settle on rolling your eyes and giving his foot a kick.

Sam is driving like a princess in the front, his legs are streched out with his back comfortably resting against his seat with an arm lazily holding the steering wheel as the wind coming from the rolled window brushes some of his hair on his forhead, all while looking effortlessly handsome. "Don't make me come back there" Sam laughs breaking the character he wanted to play along as (hint: dads on road trips). Sam's pants would catch on fire if he said he was annoyed at your childish bickering with his brother, he found it endearing. It just added to the list of things he liked about you. You gasp a little bit too dramatically and gesture towards Dean "He started it" you grumble. Dean gives you a kick of his own pulling his sunglasses back down and crossing his arms, atleast he retreats his legs giving you enough space to rest yours.

- uses every excuse to touch you (his hands are literally twitching in anticipation to hold yours, or hug you)

- Dean is a classic rock etillist (he learned that from J*hn) but his guilty pleasure is nu metal especially limp bizkit. - he only listens when Sam isn't around. - says he's getting himself a little treat (fancy headphones) with his hard-earned money (poker/credit card fraud) - J*hn introduced him to led zeppelin and Dean feels like he's dissapointing him by not being a carbon copy of him hence his secrecy - So the "guilty pleasure" has deeper roots

- Sam told you he doesn't remember owning a childhood plushie, you fix that

- you open the door and close it with your foot, hands clinging to the bag you're holding to your chest after almost stumbling over. Sam's expression changes into a smile upon your arrival, kinda like a golden reriever. He gets up from the reasearch papers scatterred around the table no longer the center of his attention to greet you.

"Hey" the word 'sweetheart' almost sneaks out of his mouth but he contained himself with grace, god forbid he makes you uncomfortable (he's alot like you y'know? ). "Hi" you reply breathlessly due to your almost stunt and the fact that Dean took Baby out so you had to walk back to the motel in the humid weather of Washington. You take off your shoes and set the bag on the table, Sam's nosy self is itching to see what's inside. Before you open anything you make sure to peel off the hoodie you have on and rest it on a chair. "I got something but i need you to close your eyes and lay out your hands please." You start already bitting back a smile with a tinge of nervousness at what his reaction could be.

Yes, you got Sam a plushie. You got matching ones, the one for Sam is a brown moose with dark brown glass eyes that kept reminding you of him. The one you got for yourself is a same-zise moose plushie in your favourite color. What's even more cuter is that both of the plushies came as a package and they can stick their hands together with the magic of little pieces of square shaped tape on each their hands (hooves?). Sam is scared and excited at the same time. He will thank you for whatever you got him, he raised himself to be gratefull, it's just that growing up he learned and was usually met with dissapointment. John not showing up for his soccer game and neither Dean because he is hunting with him? Yeah he knows. Not even a call from his dad on his 21st birthday? Yeah he expected that. But he knows you, and the amount of times you have dissapointed him. (hint: zero)

So he does as you told him to. He extends his hand and turns it over, his other arm resting by his side. He closes his eyes and does not open them once. Sam was that kinda kid at the playground, so fair and by the rules it's almost suspicious. He can hear the noise of the brown paper bag crinkling and somehow imagine the sight of you smilling brightly, a sight that almost bribes him to open his eyes and see for himself. He focuses on the sound untill he feels the soft velvet material of the plushie in his hands. He doesn't even open his eyes yet he just furrows his eyebrows in confusion as his fingers pet the fabric of the stuffed animal.

You stand there, the biggest most nervous smile planted on your face as you wait for his verdict. "Sam, you can open your eyes now." you speak loud enough for him to hear, and he does open them, they glisten wet under the crappy motel room light. He has this mix of sadness and joy on his face at the same time as he cranes his neck to look down at the stuffed animal in his hands, he can envelope it entirely if he tried. You wish you could read thoughts right now, to make Sam open up his brain to you and show you how he feels about this, whether the reaction is negative or positive, you just want (need) to hear him speak, fuck, he can even yell at you if that is what he chooses to do (he wouldn't in a million years). Regret hits you like a hurricane after a few seconds of silence, that's the last thing you wanted to do, make Sam remember what a shitty childhood he had with just a stuffed animal, a fucking toy. The thought that this could come off as a reminder for him that's like 'Hey buddy, your childhood is so fucked up I felt sorry for you, here' didn't even occur you. All you wanted to do is give him something normal, to make him feel normal, a feeling he has been chasing all of his life. You bought two matching moose plushies with the thought that you're gonna match with your bestfriend, you're going to share some normalacy with your bestfriend in your world, your monsters are real world.

You wanted to build a time machine and rescue little Sam and Dean from the fucking monster John Winchester was. Yes, John Winchester loved his boys, but neglect and love don't mix. Leaving a 10 year old to look out for a 6 year old isn't love, taking your children with you to fucking hunt and kill fairy tale monsters isn't love. "Sam?" You call out quietly, nervousness already visible in your body language. Sam shots his head up at the mention of his name and most importantly the tone of your voice. He gives you a weak tight lipped smile (as if the sight would spare you having to worry about him, as if you don't feel the need to bang your head against a wall whenever you see Sam in any kind of pain) and wipes a tear that runs down his cheek with the cuff of his hoodie. "Sam- I'm sorry- I thought-" You justify yourself and attempt at swallowing the lump formed in your throat, you rub your sweaty palms on your jeans and feel like the biggest asshole in the world. You awkwardly take a step closer untill you take in consideration the idea that getting closer might be the last thing he needs right now so you step right back. Sam's tears taste sweet, he can confirm it himself. The way you spent time and money going to provide him with something he was wrongfully stolen off of having when he was only a kid made him tear up in the spam of a few seconds. You asked, he answered, you felt sorry, he desperately wants you to comfort him, then you do something to make him feel appreciated/cherished. He glances at you and sees the state you're in. His legs instinctively take three long strides towards you and envelopes you in the most comforting embrace anyone has ever gave you. You don't need to be psychic or practice insane voodoo/hoodoo to know exactly how this made him feel, it's all in this hug. You hug him back and Sam starts rubbing circles with his index finger on your back, he is crying his eyes out and he's still comforting anyone but himself. You hear his sniffles as he agressively wipes his nose with his cuff. "Thank you" he croaks out, his tone hoarse and raspy. He rests his head on top of yours and you can feel him finally relax. You can also tell he has no intention of breaking the hug anytime soon but that is your last worry. You made Sam happy tonight and that's all it matters.

- you and Sam are the golden retriever + black cat duo the world needs. - grocery trips with him (he doesn't need anything, just wanted to go with you) that are fun and weirdly domestic. - it's all making jokes and finding eachother the snacks you usually eat untill someone bumps into him and HE apologizes. "Sorry" he says giving the dude that's shorter than him a tight lipped smile. The dude presses "Almost dropped my shit 'cause of you assh-" You cut him off by clearing your throat and making him turn around his face dropping as he notices your glare at him. "He said he was sorry." You chide (threaten) with a scarily blunt tone, you have no idea how someone can even dare to look the wrong way at Sam, he's too tall for his own good and he's built like a brick wall. "Whatever" the dude leaves scoffing , your expression softening as soon as your eyes settle on Sam. He has a stupid dorky look on his face and adoration in his eyes, his hands shoved in his jean pockets towering over you almost awkwardly. "Ugh. What is it today asshole day?" You joke breaking the silence, (yes, you're quoting kat stratford) Sam just laughs and nods, you could say it's Christmas and he would believe you. "Looks like it." He agrees, not even caring for that asshole that he could've handled himself just fine, he hunts monsters for a goddamn career. He just adores the way you jumped to take his side.

- expressing your wish to find or atleast thrift a brown carhartt jacket similar to Sam's, only for him to offer giving it to you whenever you wanna wear it.

- "S'okay you can wear it i don't mind, you just have to ask me before, yeah?" - he also can't stop blushing at the sight of you in his already baggy jacket appearing more larger on you.

- the jacket engulfs you in this sense of security and an addictive smell of Sam (his fav earthy cologne) - the way you're looking good, happy, and warm in his jacket makes Sam's heart skip a few beats. - Dean smirks and compliments you, having to take a double look to confirm it's infact Sammy's jacket on you "Looking good, Y/n" he smiles and sends Sam a wink you're to oblivious to notice but you do notice the tone he uses, replying back skeptically "Thanks?" but you shrug it off asking Sam if he wants to come with you to this fast food place to bring back dinner.

- When Dean's brain cells put 2 and 2 togheter and realizes you and Sam are absolutely pining for eachother he purposefully does alot of stuff so you're stuck spending time with Sam and vice versa. It's either an easy move to make you two go out/stay in or it's a geniusly absolutely malefically strategically thinked and mastered 50 step plan that has atleast 20 plan B's in case anything goes wrong but we all know he doesn't need them, the mission goes smoothly each time. if Winchesters are anything, it's stubborn, incredibly and stupidly stubborn so Dean is not giving up on making one of you confess to eachother and if you don't he might take matters in his own hands and scream it out loud enough for You and Sammy to hear.

- he is so eager, the first time you kissed him he automatically assumed he's your boyfriend. - "Is that any way to speak with your boyfriend?" With a jokingly hurt face and a dramatically placed hand on his chest when you're being too mean. - "As your boyfriend and your lore boy.." - "I'm Sam, their boyfriend.." when he's introducing himself to person he knows has certain intentions with you or somebody making you uncomfortable.

- you pulled a muscle in your shoulder while on a hunt and stubbornly denied anything ever hurted even when Sam asked. - you keep rolling your shoulder when Sam says "Looks like you pulled something alright. You probably shouldn't move too much, you'll just make it worse." You scoffed at that, no way Sam for real? I had no idea I had to do that, thank god a smart boy like yourself is right beside me. "Are you mansplaining to me how to let a pulled muscle heal?" You retort, mainly because of the pain partially cause mansplaining is unnecessary and ignorant. And when Sam thought he couldn't like you any more than he already does you proved him wrong. He only chuckled, amused by your snarky reply, even going as far as to apreciate your attitude. "I'm not mansplaining anything, I'm just stating facts. Even a five year old could tell you that overusing a muscle will make the pain worse." He teased back.

- He enjoys the intimacy between the two of you when there are jokes and certain things you and him can laugh about because you're both huge nerds.

- Bobby let's you borrow whatever books you want from his huge ass library (mans probably got illegal books there)

- Bobby and Dean give eachother knowing looks whenever you and Sam literally do anything togheter, you and him pretend not to notice, not even mentioning it.

- guys i wanna cuddle with Sam Winchester so bad it's not even funny anymore *sobbing while my eyeliner mixed with tears is running down my face*

- he's a big cuddlebug I am willing to bet all my life savings and my first born he is. - the way you feel so safe and comforted when his light pole build wraps two arms around you, holding you close, trying to get you impossibly closer. - his hugs are the same, tender yet firm reflecting on his gentle nature. - just spoons you when he finds you on the couch sleeping with a bunch of research papers scattered and dusty old books around you which he tosses aside, because he is too proud to ask for cuddles.

- you wake up in the middle of the night you have no idea what time is it, you have one missing sock, your throat is dry, and you feel an arm draped over your waist getting tighter around you the more you twist around. And that's when you hear it, it's right next to your ear, Sam's low sleepy hum as he stirrs behind you, nudging his face deeper into your neck. You have no choice but to lay there untill he wakes up 'cause there is no escaping.

a/n: again i'm posting this shaking, this took so long I was scared I wasn't gonna finish it. They are so long they might not classify as headcanons but i couldn't care less. The plushie one made me feel like hamilton while writting it lmaoo. Hope yall enjoyed!! 💞 feedback would be very much appreciated<33

[markscherz]

This might be a weird question but I can't think of a better person to ask! My nibling recently came out as non-binary and wants to change their name, but they're struggling to find something they are happy with.

They were given a feminine name at birth and are currently using a masculine name, but aren't happy with either of them. Every human name that's suggested to them is either too masc, too femme, or has poor associations. However, they love frogs, so I wondered if that might be a solution.

I've tried to find frog names that might work as a human name, but so far I'm not having much luck. It's not allowed to start with R or J, and apparently it's not allowed to have an X in it because nibling thinks they're "not cool enough" to carry that off (I've tried explaining that they're wrong, but 16 year olds are very sensitive).

If this isn't too weird a question, can you think of any frog or toad names that might be manageable as human names? We live in the UK for reference

So many thanks for even reading this giant info dump 💕

Wow this is only the second time I have gotten to help find a name for a human. What an honour.

Okay firstly, sounds 100% like your nibling is cool enough to use an X (despite my current negative emotions associated with the letter due to the Elongated Muskrat), and there are some *amazing* names out there with X's in, so they should at least consider them. Scinax and Ixalus for instance are great. Ixalus has a fun history: originally it was coined as a replacement name for Orchestes, which wasn't available because there was already a beetle genus called Orchestes. But then it turned out that Ixalus was *also* not available, because the world's most beautiful antelope, the bongo, was already called Ixalus. Only, the bongo had already been called Tragelaphus. So now Ixalus isn't the name used for *any* animal. Ixalus is Greek, meaning 'bounding, springing, spry'. Also there are numerous other frog genera that use the ending -ixalus, such as Heterixalus, Micrixalus, etc.

But, taking the lack of X seriously, here are some other alternatives. I will avoid names that are derived from other people's names, and focus on names that have a neutral ring to my ear, and are also euphonious (nice to say or hear) and fewer than four syllables. I am also only considering genus names, because there are too many species names to choose from:

Acris — meaning sharp, sour, bitter, pungent, sharp, keen, acute, energetic, eager, etc. Technically this is the feminine version of the adjective; the neuter version is Acre, but I do not think anyone would read 'Acris' and immediately think either gender. It is supposed to be pronounced with a long a, as in 'hard', but a lot of people pronounce it with a hard a as in 'ace'. This name is most familiar to Americans, because Acris are cricket frogs, widespread in the US.

[Acris crepitans, src]

Mantis — of course, the genus Mantis was coined by Linnaeus in 1758, and so it is unambiguous that this is not a frog name. However, it is very often used as part of frog taxonomic names, such as Chiromantis, Boehmantis, Guibemantis, Gephyromantis, Phlyctimantis etc. Mantis is Greek (μάντης), and means oracle, prophet, soothsayer, seer, clairvoyant, or fortune teller. The name has the feminine gender in its language of origin, but that has no bearing on its use, which, barring the character in the Marvel movies, does not seem particularly gendered to me.

[Pristimantis cruentus, src]

Dasypops — simply a delightful name, but probably not neutral enough. I have not been able to figure out what the etymology is; it might be a play on Dasypus, the Greek word meaning 'rough-footed', which is a genus of armadillos. The frog is also spectacular, but there are no photos I can legally share on tumblr.

Kaloula — a euphonic name with an unclear meaning. Very round frogs. I love them.

[Kaloula pulchra, src]

Adelotus — means 'unseen'. These are 'tusked frogs'. Males have crazy extensions of lower jaw bones, and they fight with them.

[Adelotus brevis, src]

Taruga — a Sanskrit name meaning 'tree climber'. I fucking love this name, and the frogs are just *chef's kiss* POINTY, and have really committed to bold colours.

[Taruga eques, src]

EDIT: I have been informed that taruga means ‘blockhead’ or ‘numb skull’ in Spanish, so it might not be the best choice. Sorry!

If the nibling would like to check out a list of genera themselves, there is a tolerably complete list here.

I hope this helps!

[chebyshevptera]

U CAN DO THAT AFTER EXAMS!!!!

I have officially moved btw I have more time now to create dumb stuff again 👍 though exams are soon. I am actively ignoring that

[stareggie]

—

wolfstar (background jegulus)

chapters: 1/?

—

SUMMARY:

Sirius Black is an Auror and a casanova who, to win a big case, bets that he can make a man fall in love with him in 10 days.

Remus Lupin is a Daily Prophet journalist who, to win more creative freedom, takes on a challenge of writing a piece on how to lose a guy in 10 days

—

omg omg omg it’s hereeeeee, chapter 1 of my how to lose a guy in 10 days fic yayayayayayayyaa

enjoy <3

—

tagging those who liked my post about this, i hope y’all don’t mind: @hugs4prongs @f4llenst44r @spicybearnaise @reptilian-rapscallion @gullyatlas @justotpthingss @artucus-library @macualey @varityamour @nights-making-your-day @xkittyxkattzx @drusruwtk @crypticchild @here-am-i-sitting-in-a-tin-can @canismajorastronomy @willyoubemydarling @starsandheartsstuff @deadchaoticcosmos

[hamdosana]

#DUA List for the First 10 Days of Dhul-Hijjah

a) Dua for the best of both worlds

Rabbana atinafee addunya hasanatan wafee al-akhiratihasanatan waqina AAathaba annar.

Our Lord, give us in this world [that which is] good and in the Hereafter [that which is] good and protect us from the punishment of the Fire.

{Surat Al Baqarah 2 : Ayaah 201}

b) Dua during Distress (Keeping in mind as humans we are never “totally” free from distress,thus making this dua constantly is very beneficial.)

La ilaha il-lallah Al-`Alimul-Halim. La-ilaha illallah Rabul- Arsh-al-Azim, La ilaha-il-lallah Rabus-Samawati Rab-ul-Ard; wa Rab-ul-Arsh Al- Karim.

None has the right to be worshipped but Allah the incomparably great, the compassionate. None has the right to be worshipped but Allah the rub of the mighty throne. None has the right to be worshipped but Allah the rub of the heavens, the rub of the earth, and the rubb of the honorable throne.{Sahih Al Bukhari}

c) Dua for Spouse and Children

Rabbanahab lana min azwajina wathurriyyatinaqurrata aAAyunin wajAAalna lilmuttaqeena imama

Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous.

{Surat Al Furqan 25: Ayaah 74}

d) Dua for Forgiveness and a Beautiful End

Rabbana faghfirlana thunoobana wakaffir AAannasayyi-atina watawaffana maAAa al-abrar

Our Lord! Forgive us our sins and remit from us our evil deeds, and make us die in the state of righteousness along with Al-Abrar (those who are obedient to Allah and follow strictly His Orders).

{Surat Ali Imran 3: Ayaah 193}

e) Dua for Protection against Debt, Oppression, Sadness.

Allahumma Inni A’udhu Bika Minal-Hammi Wal-Hazani Wal-Ajzi Wal-Kasali Wal-Bukhli Wa Dala’id=Dain Wa Qahrir-Rijal

O Allah, I seek refuge in You from sadness, grief, helplessness, laziness, being stingy, overwhelming debt, and the overpowering of men. {Tirmidhi}

f) Dua for Guidance & Protection against harm

Allahumm-aghfir li, warhamni, wa-hdini, wa ‘afini, warzuqni

O Allah! Forgive me, have mercy on me, guide me, guard me against harm and provide me with sustenance and salvation

{Sahih Muslim}

g) Dua for Guidance towards the best of Manners

Inna salati wa nusuki wa mahyaya wa mamati lillahi rabbil-alamin, la sharika lahu, wa bidhalika umirtu wa ana min al-muslimin. Allahummahdini liahsanil-amali wa ahsanil-akhlaqi la yahdi li ahsaniha illa anta wa qini sayy’al-a’mali wa sayy’al-ahaqi la yaqi sayy’aha illa ant.

Indeed my salah (prayer), my sacrifice, my living, and my dying are for Allah, the Lord of all that exists. He has no partner. And of this I have been commanded, and I am one of the Muslims. O Allah, guide me to the best of deeds and the best of manners, for none can guide to the best of them but You. And protect me from bad deeds and bad manners, for none can protect against them but You.

{Sunan An Nasai}

h) Dua for Safety and Wellbeing

Allahumma inni as’alukal-huda wat- tuqa wal-’afafa wal-ghina

O Allah! I ask you for your guidance, piety, safety and wellbeing and contentment and sufficieny.

{Sahih Muslim}

i) Dua for Protection Against Hellfiire

Rabbanaisrif AAanna AAathaba jahannama inna AAathabahakana gharama Innaha saat mustaqarran wamuqama

Our Lord! Avert from us the torment of Hell. Verily! Its torment is ever an inseparable, permanent punishment. Evil indeed it (Hell) is as an abode and as a place to dwell.

{Surat Al Furqan 25: Ayaat 65-66}

j) Dua for confessing your Sins – Dua of Yunus aleyhi salaam.

If you know what verse follows this verse you will never stop making this dua! SubhanAllah. May Allah answer our prayers as He responded to the call of our beloved Prophet Yunus aleyhi salaam.

La ilaha illa anta subhanaka inneekuntu mina aththalimeen

[none has the right to be worshipped but You (O Allah)], Glorified (and Exalted) are You [above all that (evil) they associate with You]. Truly, I have been of the wrong-doers.

{Surat Al Anbya 21: Ayaah 87}

FOLLOWING VERSE -

Fastajabna lahu wanajjaynahumina alghammi wakathalika nunjee almu/mineen

So We responded to him and saved him from the distress. And thus do We save the believers.

{Surat Al Anbya 21: Ayaah 88}

May Allah make us from the believers whom He saves!! Ameen

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Shall I not tell you of something that, if any worldly calamity or disaster befalls any man among you and he says these words, he will be relieved of it. (It is) the du’aa’ of Dhu’l-Noon: “Laa ilaaha illa anta subhaanaka inni kuntu min al-zaalimeen (none has the right to be worshipped but You (O Allaah), Glorified (and Exalted) be You [above all that (evil) they associate with You]! Truly, I have been of the wrongdoers).” According to another report: “No Muslim man says this du’aa’ concerning anything but Allaah will answer his prayer.”

{Saheeh al-Jaami’ al-Sagheer wa Ziyaadatuhu, 2065}

k) Dua for protection against an oppressor or when you are feeling totally helpless – Dua of Nuh aleyhi salaam

Rabbahu annee maghloobun fantasir

Indeed, I am overpowered, so help(me).

{Surat Al Qamar 54: Ayaah 10}

l) Dua for the best disposal of your Affairs – Dua of Ibrahim aleyhi salaam

HasbunaAllahu waniAAma alwakeel

Sufficient for us is Allah , and [He is] the best Disposer of affairs.

{Surat Ali Imran 3: Ayaah 173}

m) Dua for Job Security + Marriage – Musa aleyhi salaam.

One of my favourite Duaas. This dua ensured Musa aleyhi salaam got a job security for 8-10 years and got him married.

Rabbiinnee lima anzalta ilayya min khayrin faqeer

My Lord, indeed I am, for whatever good You would send down to me, in need.

{Surah Al Qasas 28: Ayaah 24}

n) Dua for seeking Allah’s Mercy

Ya Hayyu Ya Qayyum! Bi rahmatika astagheeth!

O Living, O Self-Sustaining Sustainer! In Your Mercy do I seek relief

{Tirmidhi}

o) Dua for entrusting your affairs with Allah – Dua of Yaqoob aleyhi salaam

Innama ashkoo baththee wahuzneeila Allahi

I only complain of my suffering and my grief to Allah

{Surah Yusuf 12: Ayaah 86}

Waofawwidu amree ila Allahi inna Allahabaseerun bilAAibad

And I entrust my affair to Allah . Indeed, Allah is Seeing of [His] servants. {Surah Ghafir 40:Ayaah 44}

p) Dua for Protection Against Hellfire, Grave & Dajjal

Allahumma inni a’udhu bika min ‘adhabi jahannam, wa min ‘adhabil-qabr, wa min fitnatil-mahya wal-mamat, wa min sharri fitnatil-masihid-dajjal.

“O Allah! I seek refuge in You from the torment of Hell, from the torment of the grave, from the trials of life and death, and from the mischief of Al-Masih Ad-Dajjal (Antichrist).”

{Sahih Muslim}

q) Dua for acceptance of dua!

Rabbana wtaqabbal duAAa

Our Lord, and accept my supplication.

{Surat Ibrahim 14: Ayaah 40}

[amethystfairy1]

Sorry to continue adding to the backlog of asks but I wanted to inform you of last nights dream because you do not understand the amount I am affected by your tippy taps--

So we're in TTSBC, which I know exclusively because my brain said, "Oh hey, it's ttsbc!Tango!" At the start of the dream. He's, for some reason, currently topside, although it is dead night. We're in a car dealership. All of a sudden, Tango locks eyes with some random person who's vaguely wearing blue (the whole rest of the dream is in third person as a spectator except for this moment, where I'm Tango and lock eyes with this guy-- by which i mean our faces are 2 inches apart and we're staring each other down for all of 0.5 seconds-- and then I spawn in as a seperate character next to Tango). Tango looks at me and him and I start booking it down the car-dealership now turned parking garage (which is how ik it's night, it's one of those multi-story garages and the level opens to the sky and it's a deep midnight blue outside). We're running and absolutely leaving the guy in the DUST, but then he starts catching up. Dreams. Good news, Tango, apperently is a really good pickpocket because he stole BMW keys at some point! So we get in the BMW and drive the heck away. (I know nothing about cars, but upon googling, the car looked most like a BMW XM. This is irrelevant, but I remember it too well not to share. Why is it a BMW? No idea. I don't drive one, I don't think about them ever, and I only know it's a BMW because the letters BMW were plastered on the front)

We speed away like crazy in the same direction we were going (this parking garage is like over 50 miles long atp honestly) until the car breaks down, at which point we get out, completely casually as though nothing just happened, and I wake up, roll over, see it's only 5 am and I can sleep for another hour, and clonk back out, but not before vaguely going "huh. Didn't know Tango knew how to drive a BMW" which committed the dream to memory.

Fun fact about me: I very rarely remember my dreams. At all. Let alone in the VIVID detail I remember this. Now I'm wondering how many such dreams I've had about these characters loll. I know I had one involving Ren in some capacity at some point, but that's it.

Anyway, I think I got a prophetic dream about there being a Tango-based chapter today. I'm just that in tune with the world apperently loll.

I have provided reference photos of the dream. Basically:

Except imagine Tango looking sly asf holding car keys and being visible through the windshield in every shot

(Just now realizing it also involved cars, I'm so good at this /j)

Anyway, thank you for providing me with entertainment both while conscious and not apperently! I was going to send this ask when I got home from school, but the new chapter took full priority, and I forgot about it until my mother asked for her car keys back just now, so here we are!

Wait this is SO FUNNY!

HOW DID TTSBC!TANGO KNOW HOW TO DRIVE!? THEY DON'T HAVE CARS IN THE UNDER-CITY! OH MY STARS!

I'm so glad my tippy taps have so deeply wormed their way into your brain 😅

[hortusmossii]

Apollo's Final Verses

εἴπατε τῷ βασιλεῖ· χαμαὶ πέσε δαίδαλος αὐλά. ούκέτι Φοῖβος ἔχει καλύβαν, οὐ μάντιδα δάφνην, οὐ παγὰν λαλέουσαν, ἀπέσβετο καὶ λάλον ὕδωρ. Tell the emperor that the Daidalic hall has fallen. No longer does Phoebus have his chamber, nor mantic laurel, nor prophetic spring, and the speaking water has been silenced.

These are the words of the last recorded prophecy uttered by the Delphic Oracle, addressed to Emperor Julian the Apostate. I will not get into the (more than justified) academic debate over its authenticity, you can read about it in the bibliography at the end of the post (Thompson, 1946; Vanderspoel, 2006). Let's take it at face value for a moment. Let's suspend disbelief and take it all in.

The prophecy was issued at some point during the second half of the 4th century AD. The Delphic Oracle had been active (although not with Apollo's voice) since the Late Bronze Age (Dietrich, 1992, p. 57). These words are putting an end to more than 1500 years of prophetic tradition. Not only that, but the Pythia is doing so in dactylic hexameters, the same verses used in Greece's most ancient literature. It is the meter of Homer, of the Illiad and the Oddyssey; a poetic pattern born before the Greeks knew how to write, and passed on orally for centuries. They used the music of myth to retire the song of the god.

And "retire" is the right word to use, because Apollo didn't disappear that day. The Oracle was first and foremost a political agent in Antiquity, and a most important one. Its approval was needed to wage wars, sign treaties and make decisions. Its prerrogatives were forged, bribed and interpreted to fit the rulers' needs. Phoebus was a force you had to take into account. But they were on a new age now, and the gods had long been ignored by human affairs, which now looked towards a new Lord. This oracle marks the culmination of that rejection, and the acceptance of the new order. The poem has Apollo stand up, collect his things and leave calmly, his golden steps echoing against the Senate's marble walls. He knows that the world's politics no longer depend on him, that he is no longer expected to rule and advise. So he retires.

But he is not gone. Oracles were (and still are) defined by their ambiguity, and the last words of Apollo obviously had to stick to the trend. Thus, changing just one puntuation mark, a single pause in speech (from "καλύβαν, οὐ μάντιδα δάφνην" to "καλύβαν· οὐ μάντιδα δάφνην"), the entire poem's meaning changes, and can now be translated like this:

"The Daidalic hall has fallen to the ground. Phoebus no longer has his chamber; (but) he has not fallen silent with regard to the mantic laurel, nor the prophetic spring and the speaking water." (Vanderspoeel, 2006, p. 55)

With this reading, we see the light of the god still shining through the crumbling columns. "It is true", the verses say, "my temple has fallen. I no longer hold authority among the rulers of Mankind, and my earthly palace is gone. But I remain the god of prophecy, and the flowing of human history will not muffle my golden voice. I am still here."

This oracle was described by J. B Bury (1930, p. 370) as "the last fragment of Greek poetry which has moved the hearts of men". While that may be up for discussion, it can make you hear the last breath of a dying world, and it can let you feel the gods surviving it, still present for those who want to listen outside of grandiose halls. And it can certainly keep me up writing about it at 2 a.m.

What does it make you feel?? I would love to know ^^

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bibliography:

Bury, J. B (1930) History of the Later Roman Empire

Dietrich, B. C. (1992). Divine Madness and Conflict at Delphi.  Kernos, 5

Thompson, E. A. (1946). The last Delphic oracle. The Classical Quarterly, 40(1-2), 35-36.

Vanderspoel, J. (2006). The enigma of the last oracle. Topoi. Orient-Occident, 7(1), 53-61.

[corvid-blues]

YOOO EPIC THE MUSICAL x LIFE SERIES AU THINGGG

this post is made specifically for @patches4thechaos no one else (/j)

It’s kind of (???) like a masterpost of this AU, but like badly structured and I haven’t made good reference sheets just some color palettes next to some ok drawings I suppose (I am very much going to redraw them just not soon maybe idk) SO UH HERE ROLES AND WHY I PICKED THEM

Odysseus - Joel

Notes - Idk he was the only one I could safely use because he ACTUALLY HAS A WIFE. Also it’s fun to be different. Though using him as Zeus is also like really fitting. Oh well. You get all the trauma Joel.

Penelope - Lizzie

Notes - I’m sorry Lizzie you’re cool and badass but unfortunately you’re also Joel’s wife and Pen is Ody’s wife. I do like to dream you videotape him killing all the sutiors though.

Telemachus - Hermes 

Notes - I literally have no idea who this guy is except he’s vaguely bird-like from fandom perception and also Joel’s son. But he fits the son role pretty well from what I see. (He’s in Empires btw)

Eurylochus - Martyn

Notes - Bro needs more main roles- Like he’s the least popular Life Series winner (which isn’t a low bar all of them are like super popular) but honestly I made Ren Polities and was like “Welp the only only valid option for Eurylochus is Martyn” and rolled with it.

Polities - Ren

Notes - Ren is a happy-go-lucky joyous boy and I think more people need to recognize that like bro is walking through life confused af but dam happy about it I’ll tell you. Everyone is like “Red King angst angst angst” like he has no idea what’s going on at all times.

Polyphemus - Bdubs

Bdubs is the only viable option for Polyphemus like animal-obsessed and murderous? Who else? Also he has a giant horse demon.

Aeolus - Skizz

Notes - He seems the popular choice, and his goofy demeanor and angelic fandom traits really show why. I have a really vivid mental image of his giant angelic form flapping its wings and pushing the ships with giant gusts of wind. It’s my second favorite moment in all of this.

Circe - Gem

Notes - Actually, I can’t take credit for this one, I saw someone with a different EPIC AU who put her as Circe and using skulk instead of seduction in There Are Other Ways and I was like “GENIUS” and stole it. She fits pretty well.

Hermes - Scar

No other viable option. Especially the fandom meme of Hermes selling drugs to Odysseus, seems like something Scar would do. Also the fun beat and Hermes’s other song “Dangerous” is definitely his vibe like seriously.

Tiresias - Grian

Notes - I have so much unnecessary angsty lore that has nothing to do with actual Tiresias like he was barely twenty when he died but grew up in the underworld, he was forced into being a preist to the Secret Keeper (watcher robes and stuff) and is familiar with a lot of the gods because he’s a prophet. I also have a bunch of desert duo shit (obviously). 

Siren - BigB

Notes - Honestly an arbitrary choice, but my main inspiration was Double Life and how he “pretended” to be Grian’s soulmate. Like, this is a completely different situation but like same concept. Ha you fuck up big time B.

Scylla - Pearl

Notes - Look the giant serpent heads are Pearl’s wolf pack Joel’s head is illuminated but the blood moon reflected in the water before they dock and walk through a dark cave and like his face is bathed in the blood of the moon and in the end the blood of his comrades THE SYMBOLISM. The “drown in your sorrow and tears” LIKE DOUBLE LIFE YALL I CANT.

Antinous - idk honestly

Notes - HE’S EVIL AND A JERK IDK

Calypso - Iskall

Notes - Yoooo our one of our only non-lifers- I guess he doesn’t really count for a Life Series AU but like he was too perfect Calypso being like “Noooo why are you breaking up with me” and Odysseus being like “WE WERE NEVER TOGETHER” real Iskall and Joel coded relationship.

Zeus - The Secret Keeper 

Notes - The only problem with this one is Thunder Bringer because he seems a lot more like just a guy there (an all powerful jerk guy but that’s besides the point) and less like an omnipotent divine deity which is what I was going for with the Secret Keeper in the Horse and the Infant and God Games.

Athena - Cleo

Notes - I saw her sometimes depicted with snake hair like Medusa and ya know Athena turned Medusa into a gorgon so I thought “Hey what if Cleo was Athena and her hair turned into snakes when she’s angry” like in My Goodbye and the “hold your tongue” scene in God Games. I gave her dreads so it’s a smoother transition.

Poseidon - Etho

Notes - Another arbitrary choice! I must blame this on my Ethubs brain like this AU is actually mostly based on Last Life (or at least the relationships) so like red life Bdubs being almost killed by Joel would really piss him off. But also in Limited Life Bdubs is technically Etho’s son so you could take it as that. (Sorry Boat Boys shippers I actually really considered putting him as Calypso)

Apollo - Jimmy

Notes - Now we’re getting into the really arbitrary choices. This was mostly a color match, and Jimmy seems like the kind of guy to own a bunch of cows and throw a hissy fit when one of them is killed. 

Hephaestus - Tango

Notes - Actually, I had Tango for Hephaestus in my head for a while. Idk he just has inventor vibes that would very obviously be angry at Joel’s basically sacrifice of his entire crew.

Aphrodite - Scott

Notes - This was mostly an excuse so I could put Scott in like flowy beautiful clothing also he seems like the kind of guy to be the god of love like bro is very gay.

Ares - Impluse

Notes - I… have no good reasoning for this. Impulse in my head is actually one of the chillest of all the Lifers but he seems like he could get very scary if he was ever actually angry.

Hera - Mumbo

Notes - And here we are, the winner of all the arbitrary choices I made for this AU. Man. Idk he had that one hipster outfit and Hera gives off very 80’s hipster vibes. Maybe that’s what he’ll wear. Huh. This only came to mind like now

This was all supposed to be meant for just me so if it’s confusing then uh sorry

Bam the ok references I have you didn’t expect me to have every character did you naw I’m too lazy for that

Don’t mind the terribly scribbled notes on any of them either pfft um

a couple doodles (Scar cameo lol) (click for full image on the second one)

Looking back on it I made those references MONTHS ago Ren’s cape looks so goofy

Less of a Life Series AU and more of a Hermit-Life-Empires AU um IM STILL CALLING AND TAGGING IT EPIC THE MUSICAL x LIFE SERIES THO

And I swear if you make any fanart tag me or I will hunt you down (/lh) (Probably not gonna be fanart but JUST IN CASE)