#i am WALKING INTO THE OCEAN.
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adam loves listening to gansey's voice so much it makes me woozy. good GOD man. what the fuck is that
#stief: ah i have written an accurate portrayal of internalized classism is what i've done#me: ok yes you have but you've also written the most insane and beautiful love story of all time. look at it. his slow lovely accent. GOD#adansey#trc#i am WALKING INTO THE OCEAN.#forget every gripe i've ever had about anything to do with adam. i remember adansey and i'm at peace.
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miss missing you live 2023. i am speechless.
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breaking the law and outing myself on the internet because i'm showcasing my senior dance thesis on april 28 at 6:30 and 8:30 pm Eastern Standard Time and i want You to see it
we don't have a livestream link yet but we will. in the meantime look at these cool posters and this cool blurb. ok now save the date SEE YOU SOON
#my stuff#my art#these posters went through 14 separate drafts. it was a harrowing and difficult experience#i am Fully Going through it which means 1) physical health is suffering 2) social life also but 3) the thing is going to be so fucking good#sarus is gonna be the best thing ive ever made when we finish it. i Know it#so i want you to see it because it's one of those ambitious stories where everything's bigger than life#and the world is old and young and scary and kind and people live fearlessly and with cowardice#BUT EVERYTHING WILL BE OK. IF YOU JUST KEEP WALKING. this is going to be one of those stories#so many dance blurbs and descriptions are like stupid technical like oh we explored the effect of weighing down our hands and feet#on our Center of Gravity and how it altered the rotational momentum of turns and jumps#or else they're stupid esoteric like oh the wind blew..... and the children wept and all over the world the oceans rose... (global warming)#so i was determined to make this blurb (which is going in the schoolwide email blast) accessible and provocative#and inviting#in a provocative way#im very Locked in rn. im Hyperfocused as fuck. i am not eating as well asi should be but IM TRYING#AND THATS WHAT MATTERS#im inviting all of u bc this is a piece that is going to try and say something and i want everyone ive ever loved to hear it#oghey bye
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you ever think about evan "i have walked through fire every day of my life" buckley and maddie "i got out of the ocean for you" buckley. how their traumas correspond to complimentary elements and how they choose to love anyway. buck in spite of the hell his parents made him live through. maddie in spite of sinking and drowning in depression. buck and maddie who find family and love in the 118.
#i am emotional about the buckley siblings again#911#911 abc#911 fox#911 show#maddie buckley#evan buckley#i have walked through fire every day of my life#i got out of the ocean for you#buckley siblings
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I can鈥檛 believe I鈥檓 worrying about Max, it鈥檚 MAX wym I have to worry about him
#max verstappen#red bull racing#f1#formula 1#monza gp 2024#italian gp 2024#daniel is my constant worry Charles my side hoe along with Lewis but MAX?! MAX?! he鈥檚 THE STABLE ONE#fuck meeeeee I hate it here#joey rambles#I am a new level of distraught#maybe I need to quit this sport all together maybe#just walk into the ocean
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cheerful humming nothing-like-depressed-innkeeper-kote-anymore kvothe my beloved
#let us ignore that this is immediately before the soldiers wipe the floor with his ass#and kick him in the crotch. literally#also. right before kvothe decides to cause me a brain hemorrhage when he says 'forgot who i was there for a minute'#NO BABY YOU WERE REMEMBERING IT#am i having feelings about a book that i've read more times than i can count? it's more likely than you think#my sweet little flame#what has happened to you#in my mind this chapter '136. interlude. close to forgetting is the other side of the coin to notw's chapter 6. 'the price of remembering'#both of them tackle who kvothe sees himself as. who he is. what he's become. and both of them make me want to walk into the ocean#kvothe#kingkiller chronicle#kkc#the wise man's fear#wise man's fear#notw#the name of the wind#name of the wind#patrick rothfuss
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Please read this by putting it through google translate image translation feature on phone and cry with me,
or i can summarize it to you
"Why does human help the weak?" [ You just do it automatically, don't u think? ] - Kalim [ I was taught to do so. ] - Deuce [ Helping others is a beautiful thing. ] - Rook [ It's a natural for the strong to help the weak. ] - Riddle
[ It's just human's instinct of wanting to survive together, is it not? ] - Trey Jade finds it weird, because in the sea, no thought will be given to the weak. The strongest will survive. Call it an ego on land if you want, but that is how it has always been in that big pool of deep never ending water.
Jade is a mermaid type who is rather sensitive when turned into human. Walking with legs feel like walking on knives for him. To counter that problem, he always had his transforming potion mixed with a lot amount of pain killers.
One time he started to feel pain on his feet, he refused to be helped as he is fixated of being a strong creature & not wanting to be positioned as something weak. When he finally let trey helped him, he kept asking if there's any compensation he had to pay for having Trey helped him. "It is just pure kindness for underclassman", Trey said. Having it not sitting right on him, Jade told Trey his secret about his human legs' sensitivity problem as a form of payment. "That's too much information for that price." "Such critical thing! I never tell anyone that information as it would endanger my life!" "So.., are you telling me because you trust me?"
"No. I am telling you because I want (to keep receiving) that pure goodwill from you, my senior."
"That's an unnatural & greedy remark from a benevolent Octavinelle's student. Such a bad boy, Jade." Trey touched Jade's face in soft scolding manner & it made the mermaid quietly flustered with feeling he never knew he could felt before. Finding Trey's affection dear to him, at some other time later, he pretended that his feet hurts. And he lied about not bringing any pain killers with him. Trey who was wary about lying Jade, used his magic to overwrite the pain on Jade's feet, so he could walk by himself. But Jade sulked. Because, rly, he just wants to be carried by Trey again. Sensing this, Trey gave in, and carried Jade on his back, pleasing him.
Jade then invited Trey to go to an abandoned castle. He asked him to dance with him.
"I want to look good in front of you. But I'm not good at dancing," Trey said.
"Good." Jade replied with a smile, happy with his awkwardness. "I am not familiar with human's dance either."
They started to dance. And flirted a little. "Your eye is like olive." (Typical TREY) And when they were about to kiss, 3 overblot ghosts broke in.
"'ll take responsibility" Jade said, instantly feeling responsible as he was the one who brought them there. He managed to defeat one of the ghost. But in the middle of battle, the usual pain started to seep in to Jade's feet. For real, this time. His legs gave out.
With 2 overblot ghosts left still, Trey put himself into the middle of the fight. "I don't have enough magic to both overwrite your pain & defeat these overblot ghosts at the same time. So, run away while I try to hold them back."
Jade started to think how unacceptable it is that he is protected by someone who is supposed to be weaker than him. He should have been the one protecting Trey as mermaid is a stronger being, however he is nothing but a hindrance right now. Trey would even win the fight if it was not because of him.
So Jade found a way. He made noise to get the overblot attention's. He directed them to him so he could take them out by letting the chandelier fall over all of them together, including him. He was so ready to be crushed & took all those responsibility with him.
But, of course, Trey can't have that! Trey saved Jade at the last minute. He pushed Jade away, so the chandelier missed him. But in consequence, Trey had his legs broken as they were the ones that got crushed by the chandelier, instead -- together with the remaining overblot ghosts.
Jade who still didn't realize the situation, said "... Oh. That's too unreasonable to suddenly jump in, under the chandelier and come..." "I can't help it."
Jade slowly turned his head.
"It's too easy to want to help the person you love." "...So let me help you out." The horror of the current situation finally creeped to Jade's face.
"T-TREY-SAN! TREY-SAN!!!!!!!"
[ What do i do now?? What do i do??? ]
"Go, return by yourself even without me..."
Jade started to think of all his options. Phone? out of range. Magic? Out of the question, he just realized that his magic gem is now broken. The only mirror to come back to the school was at the foot of the mountain, while the castle they were in was at the very top of it.
[ Carry this person on your back. ] The voice in his head said...
"Carry this person on my back--?" he turned his head, and suddenly imagined the path of 'knives' he had to step on to go back. Not alone even.., but together with this person. ...The additional weight surely would pressed his feet harder to the ground, causing even more pain.
Trembling from the thought of the pain, Jade thought... "This is bad..., I only have one more painkiller...."
He took out that single pain killer in his pocket, and put into his mouth, seemingly ready and prepared to walk, at least; a few steps back without pain. But no, he refused to do so. Trey is wounded. He must experience pain too right now. Lips-to-lips, he gave the wounded Trey the painkiller & let him swallow it.
"I'll help you now..." Jade said, repaying on Trey's deed & now walking back without painkiller, with his dear senior on his back.
His feet hurts. So badly that he started to bit his lips & let them bleed. The sudden thought of wild animals attacking them in this situation, made him shuddered.
Near them, he spotted a good running river.
...
[ I can just abandoned this person... and jump into the river. ...With that I can easily reach the foot of the mountain. ... With that, I can become a strong creature again, not the helpless one like what I am right now. ]
...
For a second Jade lost in thought of abandoning the weak like what the sea always taught him to do. But then, reminiscing how Trey carried him at that crucial time when he needed him to, he said to himself...
"No. That doesn't matter... "
"Because right now ..., I am helping him out of pure love."
And so, he kept enduring, until Idia who wandered at night to get his late night snack from the school's vending machine, found them who successfully came back, fainted at the hallway.
--
Time passed.
--
...
"Jade refuses to walk for awhile now." Floyd said, guiding Trey further inside to the longue. It might be because that event; so traumatic & painful, that Jade just wanted to forget entirely about walking all together. Or maybe it was out of guilt, for him being the reason that Trey had to be confined in the hospital room to recover & not being able to go anywhere. That's why, Jade isolated himself in the glass wall as a way to punish himself & share the same feeling with Trey.
"Sorry for the trouble." Trey replied, pushing his wheelchair with his hands.
"It's okay. It's Jade's own fault." Floyd replied, nonchalantly. Just like he always been. Oddly comforting, at the current situation. "Jade, sea turtle is here~~"
There he is. Jade, swimming in his mermaid form. Their eyes met. Seeing Trey sitting on a wheel chair, his eyes, glistened.
--
"So will your legs heal?" Jade was still in his mermaid form. He perched on surface of the longue's glass wall he was in, to talk to Trey.
"Yes."
"It's not just the bone fractures, right? It's also the ability to walk, right?"
"Of course."
...
Jade was relief. But he was still burdened with other feelings from the incident.
" --- IF I NEVER MET you, after graduating, I would have returned to the sea and keep being a strong creature forever....." "I am so scared and feeling so pathetic......."
...
Trey reminiscing the moment Jade carried him on his back, while enduring the tremendous pain on his feet, said, "You are...? At that time though, you looked like the strongest person in the world to me..." He patted Jade's head, consoling him.
Jade was relieved once again. " ... Trey-san ... " But it seems that this mermaid still has something in his mind...
"...When you risked your life, and let yourself be crushed under the chandelier..., was it all just because of the natural instinct inhabits in your body, OR-"
He didn't finish his question, and yet Trey answered. "It's because, I like you."
...
Jade proceeded to come out of the water, having his tail transformed to legs, once again after a long while. He approached Trey who sat there still with his immobilized legs.
"...I never thought I would ever need my legs again... He gazed Trey in the eyes. "But it is necessary...." "...There are a lot of things I want to do with you, with these legs..."
"...Many..."
And they both shared a kiss, which became the start of everything else.
#treyjade#twisted wonderland#twst#jade leech#trey clover#they gave me peace they gave me laughter they gave me pain#the recipe of ultimate shipping#pls don't s t ab me if i did not get the precise translation correct#and please excuse me for writing in elementary school level#i have english test next week and i am so doomed like this#but i hope the feeling transfers if u did choose to read my writing instead of translating the doujin pages directly#i am so happy that i actually manage to drag people to treyjade ocean *weeping*#i hope you guys manage to keep that endearment live for a long time in the corner of your heart#some fanartists keep picking up the mermaid having the knives walking painful sensation for angst#it works everytime#i am no big brain#these fanartists are doing all the GOD's works for treyjade with actual depth#the true servers of servers
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anyone else feeling deeply disconnected from everything and everyone and struggling to find joy in the whimsy of everyday life or is it just me
#text#i鈥檝e already seen enough posts to make me want to throw my phone into the ocean#and walk into the woods and just keep walking until i collapse#and even thinking that thought fills me with guilt and anxiety because unplugging like that is a privilege in itself#and even when i do log off i am faced with the stress of selling our house and moving#i鈥檓 just filled with too many emotions and no way to release that stress#i wish i had like a peloton so i could run that energy and stress out of me like a hamster on a wheel
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The level of intertwining between Batman and Joker as characters at this point... is utterly insane.
Joker has been Joseph Wayne, Bruce's long lost brother in Batman/Lobo (2000) -- leaving aside the implications of Joker (2019).
Joker has been Bruce's alternate personality twice, in Batman: Two Faces (1998) and DC: House of Horrors -- Last Laugh (2017).
The Batman Who Laughs is what Bruce turns into if he kills Joker, a version of Batman who believes in what Joker believes, as shown in Dark Nights: Metal (2017).
Joker has been Batman's other half in the existence of Bat-Joker/Jokerborg as well, with them literally being stitched together (as in Joker's face is on the back of Bruce's head), in The New 52: Futures End (2014).
Joker has been Alfred in Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader.
Joker has been Batman's wife and Bruce's mother, Martha Wayne, in Flashpoint.
Joker became Bruce's Robin in Batman: The Last Knight on Earth (2019).
And now, apparently Joker's son has been Bruce's Robin, as revealed in New Golden Age (2022).
Joker's literally been everything to Batman. From his worst enemy to his own self to a combination of them both to his mother to his brother to his surrogate father to a son to a wife.
#...it makes me want to walk into the ocean. how much more entangled can two characters GET!!#technically Bruce briefly saw Joker as a father figure in Journey Into Knight. that did happen#but I hate it so I am mentioning it here only#batman#batman meta#bruce wayne#joker#batjokes#batjokes meta#my meta
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#sometimes i think about the fact that I am:#A. born and raised on a small island#B. Daughter of a fisherman#C. Learned to walk as a wee babe on a ship out to sea in a storm#and D. hated being on the beach but LOVED swimming in the ocean as a child... you could never catch me sun bathing. I was diving or swimmin#in the waters all summer :)#So how/why am i not a mermaid already lol#or a selkie 馃馃槩#anyway. During this hot weather I'm remembering my silly childhood at the beach imagining that I was secretly the#grandchild of a selkie or mermaid empress and as the 7th born child#in my family I was somehow the chosen heir to inherit the ocean kingdoms X)#anyway. Missing the beach and ocean today :')#I should make a webtoon/webcomic based on this fanciful childhood fairytale wish of mine lol
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Forever cracking up about the fact that Stone Ocean gang made Emporio their designated driver. Not just because he's an unlicensed minor who spent his entire life inside a prison. But because it required tying blocks to his shoes.
#jjba#stone ocean#emporio alnino#do you think he took them off whenever they stopped for gas#or was he just walking around boosted the whole time#stupid jjba thoughts that i have at 1 am
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Man I really wish I didnt feel bad abt sharing Leo lore outside of tumblr. It is what it is
#id love to feel okay talking abt him in servers or when chatting w others but i have the like#well hes not the commander so he'll be considered inherently less interesting to others and also he isnt Cool Enough in general#tumblr is fine bc im really just talking to myself and people fan choose to interact so i dont feel bad abt it#but I cannot imagine trying to talk about him literally anywhere else bc im like well nobody wants to listen to That#but its okay Like I dont need to its genuinely fine it can just be a little wacky when im sitting there like oh#im sure am the only one who hasnt participated in the talk abt their own oc....#I made an off hand comment about Shipping rytlock and leo in vc and nearly walked into the ocean#things to work on......#Me: Okay even tho it was a short sentence that was way too much information abt ur canon time to never say anything ever again
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I am working from the airbnb today while my mom & sister take the baby out on various beach adventures + ice cream/cheese factory tours. i made them send me pictures and WAHHHH. i love that little baby and i love seeing my family love him. i feel like in the first month or so of his life i spent a lot of time feeling sad about the fact that i didn't have a partner who was equally invested in our baby and was there to witness and share all the little memories with me. i am really enjoying being a solo parent and have no regrets about my choice, but i worried it would feel lonely to love him on my own and not have someone to share that love with. but in the months since i have just been so struck by how much our family structure feels more open to the world instead of closed-off in a traditional nuclear family type of way. obviously both types of families have things to recommend them! like, there are lots of good things about a two-parent household and having a larger extended family where you have two sets of grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, etc. but having a one-parent, one-extended family household also has its own beautiful advantages. he gets to spend so much more time with my parents and my sister especially - both because i want it that way and because i have to rely more on my family for help since there's only one of me. i don't have a partner whose schedule or preferences need to be taken into account, so we can join my mom and sister on a spur-of-the-moment vacation. i also don't have a partner who can be responsible for the baby while i'm doing work on vacation, so my mom and sister got to take him out for a whole day of sightseeing and adventures with just them there. idk i'm not sure i'm articulating this well but i think there's a joyful flexibility and openness to this family structure that i wasn't anticipating and that i think/hope will really enrich his experience of the world. he gets to have all these alloparents who love him and know him well and have real responsibility for him. it's beautiful!
#i also have a theory which is i think that people feel much more invested in a baby when they have real responsibility for them#and get to like hold them and take care of them and take them places without their parent(s) there#because then it's not like#oh i'm holding the baby as a favor to mom while mom does something#it's like oh we are on a little adventure together and we can bond and figure out who we are to each other#so i am also trying to seek out opportunities to like#leave him in the care of others even just for brief periods - not just babysitting but like idk#the other day i had to drive from the park to M&A's house but they were walking back#and so he just went on the 15-20 min walk with them while i drove#and got to spend time hanging out with them without me there#idk! lots of thoughts.#i think my brother who is parenting in a much more traditional family structure#is kind of bound by more traditional parenting norms as a result - like they don't really like to leave him with other people#or let other people hold him or go places with him on their own unless there's no other option#but idk i think there's a freedom to being like#i can't be everywhere at once and i don't have the capacity to be both parents to him#so i can open things up to more people and reap the benefits of him having lots of experiences with other people#and more experience with other people's caretaking styles too#(of course i also cried that he was seeing the ocean for the first time in his life without me. but like that's par for the course.)#parenting tag#baby tag
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the ed/izzy/stede shippers are eating so well
#me. i鈥榤 eating well.#ofmd#our flag means death#our flag means death season 2#ofmd spoilers#stede bonnet#edward teach#blackbeard#izzy hands#stede x ed x izzy#some of us have not had a coherent thought since#i loved you the best i could#since#you and i made him like this#izzy training stede#THE THING WITH THE SHARK GOD I鈥楳 WALKING INTO THE OCEAN#sorry i am goibg to exploderenene#steddyhands#my posts
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#i. am starting to realise that I might be a river person#I鈥檝e spent a lot of time by the ocean not in a tropical place#But in various places in this country#And yes it is nice to walk along beaches and the ocean along a pier etc#However it is not the same as walking along the river especially#When that river is surrounded by forest#And the weather鈥檚 been so nice the past couple of days#And I鈥檝e gone on walks along the ocean but#You can only go so far here anyway#Back home I can walk along the river for kilometres on end in either direction#And it鈥檚 different it鈥檚 just different#This is not to say that I want to move back home or anything#I just I think I might be a river person#so this doesn鈥檛 really mean anything I just want to know what other people like#polls
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