#i am Just Some Guy (TM)
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I had an experience today and Peter offered to draw it
shame is dead
This was drawn by my brother @megacarapa very talented very amazing
#lucy blabs in form of a diary comic drawn by peter#in all seriousness it feels kinda cool tm to be an adult and meeting kids who are literally just like you were when you were their age#like i only just started at school and i hope it will be okay and i hope some nerdy shy little kids can see me and feel a lil more secure#in who they are and who they want to be#which is a goofy looking anime nerd#second coolest i felt after wining over that withdrawn kid with my awesome knowledge of what a pokemon is#anyway peter drew me so cute here hes a great artist and i love looking at his art#he didnt know what fuckor was which is why the explanation is included and also made me feel very online#like more online then the guy who introduced me to tumblr#speaking of fuckor am i right#forgot to mention that i was also wearing my black and white koi earrings which i literally bought at an anime convention#shame is truly dead
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woah, all of the sudden i feel like i want nothing more but to turn into a soggy piece of dead wood, and its even worse bc its seems like this time its exaggerating all my worst qualities on top of worsening my regular mental health struggles-
... remembering that its been a month since the last time .... no, no it cant always be that, the majority of my deep dives into mental health hell and public annoyance cant be all that, what am i, nothing but a enzyme and hormone controlled meat puppet that i have no control over? haha no its just me actually getting wors-
cramps.
#ganondoodles talks#personal#tmi perhaps but#as if my regular gender dysphoria wasnt already bad enough#and as if periods didnt make it even worse#no now i also feel like im just a stupid animal that bends to some stupid hormon shit like i have no agency at all#maybe thats just me#but while meltdowns are the pinnacle of feeling posessed to me#realizing i have been 'like that tm' bc its period time makes me feel so .. extra stupid#like man those feelings felt so real and still kidna do but also man what the fuck#.......also i feel like i am proving those misogyni guys right by being weird and not like myself a few days before the cramps start#even without being cis#feels like shit all over! yippie! angry at myself for not realizing it#also angry that even if i remember i cant do anything against it#i jsut gotta waste days and weeks and so much time just to feel even more shit and awful about myself for not beign what i want#argh
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omw to see a guy im not interested in bc he has my coat
#basically chat i am Not bi i truly tried i just feel nothing . and i went on a date w a beautiful butch and the way my heart went crazyyy#it rly confirmed it#however . this guy . ok so we went on 2 dates and he had some rly bad takes at the end of the second date out of nowhere#i alrdy felt nothing and by then i felt even more. nothing. BUT#in other ways hes like green flags all around except for those specific takes . anyway. i thrifted this coat in bordeaux and me and my#friend have joint custody over it like it is Our Coat and we share it etc etc it spends equal time at our houses#given those takes i fear if i tell him in advance that im not interested there is a very low chance he might like#not give me the coat back ? idk#anyway I WANT MY COAT BACK ik its unrealistic that hed do smth like that but . idk idk The Takes TM worried me#anyway idk how to break it to him. like . hi ik im in ur house and u wanted to cook for me but i rly want my coat back and also ur opinions#abt feminism and the military are Worrying and also goodbye im a lesbian
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New OCs
(briefly, humans and supernatural beings have to team up for building better relations with each other and all the supernaturals can shapeshift and take on human appearances but also have their 'original form'.)
OK so I was GOING to draw fanart today - I had a fun idea and everything! But health anxiety (and anti-anxiety meds) wore me out so I kinda .... slogged through OCs as a treat to me. I am going to go to the doctor tomorrow so HOPEFULLY it's all okay.
#my characters#also kite is the worst socially and says things he thinks are surely fitting for a human conversation#but ends up insulting grady with 99% of the comments and that makes grady not fond of him#but then grady is like super pleasant to others and doesnt know how to act around kite and flubs a lot too#its a disaster and the twins are like oh no this is painful#mr tengu that was so tacky you cant say that to a human#mr tengu you cant DO that to a human STOP BEING LIKE THIS#while callum is just like wow this is hilarious thanks for bothering my younger brother its adding character to his life#and kite is stressed because thats the least encouraging thing to hear ever thank you v much hes TRYING to adapt#but also kite isnt his real name and he doesnt know squat about humans BUT he knows they have the internet#and so hes like well the problem is i dont want to actually say my name to you all because what if i am Online (TM)#and so he asks for a new name and then is like he should name me - the tiny one who wants to kick my ass should name me#so grady is like ....... nooooo...... dont............ and then suggests kite bc he's done google research#and kite is a type of bird and according to wikipedia has some familiarity to tengu so therefore yeah#and kite is like !!!!!! DOES HE ! KNOW THINGS ! and happily accepts the slightly researched name while the other humans#are like grady stop that is bullying the poor guy leave him alone pick a normal name!#anyway not drawn yet but there is a human guy partner for the twins and he immediately is like perfect#i know which is which lets go out and explore the human world for your research#and they dont understand how he knows them apart so fast and none of the other humans seem to tell em apart#but then none of the humans are shocked at the guy who knows so the girls are like sir howst do you know#and hes just v casual oh right yeah younger identical twin sisters - i have Practice ! and they are endeared to him haha#anyway if you read all those tags ty#and yes in his tengu form he does actually have the long nose please do not be mad#i just dont draw noses normally and im too tired to practice rn so#i only drew the second one today anyway - the first pic was done a couple days ago but i didnt wanna post on main#but then here i am posting on main#im sorry
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haven’t posted OC art in a while so behold, the sillies
drawing people flopping on the ground is apparently very fun
#my art#Evie’s ocs#evie’s aria#Evie’s caea#Bc the name is growing on me#Evie’s enda#Ok for the record the above mentioned Hester and Enda (who is the guy laying on the ground) are not a romantic couple#Enda just has a not-very-healthy-crush and some Issues (TM)#doodles#ALSO#i am back to giving Caea shorter hair#Maybe#bc I just#Do not like him with long hair for some reason#But I think I’ll keep the idea of cut hair being a sign of lower status#And Caea is just trying to disguise himself#He’s doing a terrible job at it tho#Nobody is fooled ofc#ALSO also#enda and aria are brother and sister#Enda is unaware of this fact
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currently thinking about the multiple times men have hit on me by telling me i look like im from tel aviv like. the reason i look like that is cuz im visibly queer lol
#Some Guy tm: damn haha you dont look like a yerushalmi can i take you out sometime?#me: i am. a lesbian#Some Guy tm: haha youre just saying that#me: *gestures at my entire me* what gave you the impression i like men?????#but also generally the way i dress is highly indicative of someone who grew up thirsting after the monster high girls#ישראבלר
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Chivetiger joined the clan long ago under the lead of Pinestar, but his life as a loner isn’t even a distant memory now. Though he spends much of his time alone, thinking up dialogues and stories in his head that fill his chest with pounding excitement, he is often the cat others in the clan turn to with their problems, as he always seems to have a hypothetical on how to handle everything. He’s happy to spit out his opinion on the matter, and then be left alone, no other conversation necessary. He can often be found in a shady corner, off to himself, sorting his collection of shiny rocks and mumbling softly to himself in little voices.
#If it wasn’t obvious#this man is AUTISTIC#All my characters are a little autistic because I’m autistic. So they all get autism infused#But I looked at this guys in game traits and said oh so this guy has autism then. This is INTENTIONAL autism writing#He collects rocks. Geology is his special interest. The ‘whispering to himself’ is him writing ‘dialogue’ for stories aloud#And talking in character. Ie. what I do every night to fall asleep. The scenarios(tm)#He’s so good at coming up with stories and scenarios and thinking about how things are solved. That when people ask him#He’s like oh yeah i figured that out for this story i came up with one time. Here’s your answer#And they’re like woah you’re so smart… advice prodigy…#And he IS. But not by intuition. By many years of accrued knowledge#His gender description is also directly inspired by my relationship with gender#I am me. I like some girl stuff and some boy stuff. None of the words bother me#But in my community where I actually live. I’m just what I was born as. Because its easier and I don’t feel strongly one way or another#Because I’m me! And that’s. What Chivetiger is too#‘Probably agender but I have a job so let’s not worry about that’. Or something. Let’s call it that#Tom until otherwise stated#righteous pines#clangen#clangen oc#warrior cats#warrior cats oc
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I know your stories don't seem to revolve around Gold/Ethan and / or Blake, but I'm wondering what they would look like in one of those ref sheets you make. Would we have a sorta timeline for them? Or how you believe they end up dying? Your art is incredible, and remember to take breaks!
-Choccy Anon
((Don't assume so fast dear friend. Considering that I managed to pump out a timeline and a ref up to the lineart for one of the other relevant guys i got, I'm sure I'll be cooking up stuff for that rotting corpse real soon!
The way Gold had died has actually been implied in a handful of canon asks before, Hmm. I wonder what that easter egg was called. smthn smthn mount whatza
But, despite not having much to show for it right now, there is a significant amount of different (cough and similar if not same) characters important to missing numbers, justttt not a lot of them have been found out properly just yet. but im sure once canon story asks start up again all will be revealed in due time.
but trust me, youll prolly be getting that poor boys reference(s)(((who knows maybe ill go crazy w/ it))) soon, probably with a few handful of others
oh yeah i also wanna say i like your little anon nickname choccy))
#mn qna#((idk whose art youre complimenting though knowing who mostly has uploaded recently. its prolly starry's))#((either way im the one who holds little goldy locks and the 26-28 unowns))#((hes honestly not too far away to find. just gotta check more cameras. when you can anyways))#((anyways maybe ill work on him tmrrw))#((also those in for personal hell updates: hoo boy i think the tms is working even if i dont seem to think it is.))#((i wasnt gonna answer this ask yet but turns out i am instead of putting it off. woo!))#((alright. see you guys more soon maybe with some refs and whatnot.))#[hii starry here as well i forgot 2 say anything earlier but thank u choccy anon!!]
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Okay so I just started watching L/ife L/essons with U/ramichi O/niisan... and this show is so good.
Like it's hilarious, so well done with adult humour/pessimistic views, but mixed with this upbeat children's show vibe (since that's where they work)~
Anyways I'm posting this because there's been a CANON ------ for my favourite character and uh... I might have to write something about it because I'm starting to get insane about this show.
ALSO ADDING ON CANONICALLY: "I heard he's caught a fever easily ever since he was a little kid." and.... yes <3
#waterfallrambles#not entirely sure why im posting it here#honestly i think its so that when i do write this show there was some sort of warning#just- HE GETS SICK GUYS!!! and its only one snz but hes SICK#and my GOD i was expecting this to just be a 'haha funny' type of show but im feeling#feelings. for these guys. specifically one of them like no promises im gonna write anything SOON#(or at all because im pretty sure ONLY i would be interested in it)#but like i am having the ~Thots TM~ so im putting this here#feel free to ignore it hahaha~
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i just beat 4/20 mode in fnaf 1 in TWO ATTEMPTS. why is that so easy
#the strat is flipping the camera up for ~ half a second every side check#so like. left door. cams (on 4b ONLY). right door. cams#check foxy OCCASIONALLY if ur worried abt his progression but he only moved to stage 2 (peeking out) the entire night with this strat#i sat at 2% power and waited and freddy barely got to his song when i won#that strat only works for fnaf 1 cuz foxy you just have to look at A camera it doesnt have to be HIS camera#so you can cam stall freddy (keep him from coming into your door) and keep foxy Calm the whole time staying on ONE camera#i checked foxy probably twice per hour at the MOOOOST i dont remember id have to look#ill check later#anyway i beat another 20 mode it was. actually so fucking easy i died once and its cuz i forgot to close the right door to check foxy and-#-freddy got into my room#at like 12 am so BKSDJAFFHSADJFKGHA barely into a run#i cant believe that was so easy hello i had like 47% at 3 am ur sposed to have 50%#GUYS I DID BETTER THAN MARKIPLIER#IT TOOK HIM 7 HOURS? IT TOOK ME 2 TRIES#then again. he didnt have the Foxy Freddy Strat TM#i might try it with his strat later on when i beat some other 20 modes just out of curiosity#xanchats#fnaf
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also if only the physical copy of how to disappear completely & never be found i first encountered & read a few years ago (sort of [roughly avg age ten] reader book, not any similarly titled How To) hadn't disappeared completely & not been found since, probably b/c i put it somewhere i intended to be For Safekeeping, which is also how my binder vanished....b/c it's one of those like. those book for late elementary/middle school readers when they just weave in this unrealism which makes for a delightful range & unpredicability? and with a cynical protagonist girl like off to the races like wow her mom is depressed asf & smoking? and it's about A Family History Secrets Mystery so blatantly a haunting that the inciting incident is basically introducing a haunted [family history secrets mystery] house. and spoilers don't matter like it's stemming from there being this missing uncle who grew up so in contrast to the Winsome Winning Sibling Who Does It All Right while seeing his own affiliation with rats that he tried to disappear completely & never be found which led to this Tragedy which led to this more unintended disappearance of his & he haunts this house & wants to be left alone & only goes out at night with this [ambiguous Is That A Giant Rat Or Weird Small Dog (protagonist affected by these family situations who expresses her preoccupation with an awareness of how fate can Strike and Get you with this interest with roving packs of killer chihuahuas. people think she's weird though she spontaneously befriends this other girl struck with this bolt from the blue & a bit weird / outcast & then Insightful who i wish was in it more)] & plays into the hauntedness danger like playing into the [something's Wrong with you then] until having to take yet more action where the urge to express the truth comes out more both b/c living that hidden is more threatened but also b/c now the niece children are more threatened as well. ft. a sort of preternatural blurring of time b/c of only being communicated with through this uncle via his comic pages (that he paints?) of dubiously accurate translations of irl events that are created so quickly it seems to verge on foresight, imagine like "hmm what's this painting. it's me standing in this room looking at this painting??? as someone ominous lurks in the shadows right behind me?" in both [now how could you know this & paint it really fast ahead of time] and [horror]
#i've had good times & thrills & things from other books i've read in the past xyz years & all#but i think this had the best in its final sections with [''uncle rat!''] like that was so incredibly unbelievably hype#and a further ending with a reconciliation that lets the Weirdo still be how they are but with more support lmao#i'm like yeah i want to live in the abandoned house only coming out at night only leaving secret homemade books with Some Truths#yeah i wanna exist in secret passageways & be unseen & uninteracted with & get by despite it all; sure#and disappear (mostly) and (not be found for a while until you have more motivations to help very parallel parties)#and have an affinity & affiliation with animals ppl are also like oh weird bad gross Never Want To See Them who are scroungily around#not implied to be a supernatural connection rather than just like. oh this person is a friend. from chihuahuas; rats; coatis....#also the How To & Never Be book's like core event to The Mystery is. truly so tragic lmao my god. it's really great#i'll just see about reading a digitization somewhere b/c i am Not gonna be able to find it#and the uncle is So mysterious that like. you don't get many Interactions w/him & are just going off of these emergent factors#the situations as they are as consequences of prior events; that he Is this withdrawn & communicating As some haunting monster etc#the way you technically don't also get to know like [what was bruno like prior] Directly W/Promised Accuracy and yet#the [metaphorically i mean] angle going on for everyone like perceiver truth teller Weird Odd One Out yeah yes#bit like [ :) (devastation)] verse talking abt him through a ''so your disabled relative'' lens (who also even w/magic was Just Existing)#here's a guy just existing like :) = my god this absolutely sicko who would even do something like that lmfao. god we've all been there#grappling with [tendencies] they couldn't understand....many things + just the way bruno approaches Speaking is like. okay.#my man's autistic. highest honor i can bestow. among other plausible ways of being disabled / nonconforming / abnormal#also the highest honor....rat affiliated disappeared uncle in How To? well he's really simply not possible ''yes he is Normal(tm)'' so
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idk what is happening honestly so tired so eepy let boys run the errands with teddybeardog and i have some regrets ( tm )
#apparently she almost bit a child (but it was because said child carried bread or a sandwich so i bet she wanted. said sandwich)#(her favorite snack of all time is bread)#and also had her nails clipped and it was. very unpleasant#she had lots of stress today due to storms and her anxiety pills didn't do a great job :/#then a different person had to clip her nails#not usual doctors#she had to have a muzzle she was tryna bite :<<#maybe because it was hurty because there's this thing inside pet nails#called “proper claw” or something#and she has it and it's very long and it has nerves and all#she has it long due to being neglected in the past by previous owners so it grew and grew inside the nail that can be clipped#so we can't clip the nails short - short so we don't damage the nerves#apparently the doctor did clip a bit too short#and the boys tried to say that they can't be clipped this short but the lady was ukrainian and didn't speak polish#and teddybeardog bled a little#though she's a big girl and it didn't hurt her much but she was STRESSED#she also tripped on stairs and hit her head :(((#she only calmed down when she got to lay down and sleep with me#and now she's better#i just think i would've handled it all better#if i had not slept 2h yesterday and then spent 4 hours running other errands that made me pass out on bed unable to get up#i let teddybeardog have forbidden snackos for being so brave today#(raisins in chocolate)#dont come @ me i know what i'm doing#for a dog this big the amount of chocolate she was given does nothing#she will also have some chicken and cheese off my pizza#but then again they know teddybeardog and whats good for her i just know i am her comfort person despite how she looks at my boys#like theyre bread#and at me#like im just some guy TM
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learned today we're gonna have to leave our bags and jackets in a locker room. so far so good
however, there is only one for men and one for women and i'd feel most comfy in a gender neutral one
like i dont wanna be a man in the women's room but i also dont wanna be the masculine woman in the men's room
#not fandom related#personal log stardate#trans stuff#ok so technically im a guy at uni except that i dont pass#like. im out as a trans guy to some class mates and ive introduced myself w a masc name and pronouns#despite that most ppl use she/her for me#so im in a weird kinda limbo where to some classmates im a man and to some im a woman#and either way ill have to be a guy in a locker room full of women or a woman in a locker room full of guys#at least from some of my class mates' pov#so now i could take a stand and use the men's room to affirm and confirm that im a man#but. im not??? like i am but im also not bc im trans masc nonbinary#but to use the men's locker room ill have to be a Man TM#and im just scared of the fact that#a) i have to fit into the gender binary even though i dont#and b) that i wont be taken seriously (bc i dont pass)#like i Do want to be a man in the eyes of society when i can choose it#eg name pronouns medically transitioning#but i don't want to be squeezed into the gender binary#when using the toilet or a locker room y'know#one thing i choose bc it makes me feel good the other one is forced upon me#and theres no way out and on thursday ill have to pick a locker room ugh. ill probably go w the mens room bc it aligns mostly w how i want#my class mates to see me but the fear the fear oh god the fear#this class keeps getting worse ugh. and i cant even skip it bc its mandatory ugh#like i dont think any of the guys will assault me or anything like that theyre all chill but itll be so weird and awkward#maybe some will be like yeah of course youre a real man bro! and itll make me feel good and affirmed but itll also make me feel like shit#bc im not. a real man. but does it matter? do i even want to be a real man and what is a real man anyway#i guess the problem here is my own self esteem? all i have to do is roll w it. fake it till you make it or whatever#but still. where is my gender neutral locker room :(#anyway i have to go to bed now bc ive been having a headache for half of the day now and it keeps getting worse now that its late#maybe ill ask some of my friends tomorrow what they think abt my locker room dilemma
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who give a shit about tayIor swift
#liz blogs#i saw an instagram post from someone like 'why is everyone who doesnt like taylor swift like mean and boring and sexist' like what . huh#she's just another mid celebrity i literally don't get why she's miles more popular than the next famous blonde_woman.mdl in hollywood#i'm not even being a Hater(tm) i literally . don't get it. i'm sorry. she made like two catchy songs in 2010. is that her whole Thing#'mid' isn't even being a hater it just means like. moderate. neither good nor bad. Middle.#are you guys ok does she have some kind of siren or mind control power#i am immune to whatever she does to people. i don't hate her but i don't really like her either she simply just Exists to me. she is Mid!#i've heard her music! i have no idea what's different about her that nets her this kind of insane rabid fanbase. i am lost#i spelled her first name with an i instead of an L lest her fans act like i just called her a slur and threatened her actual life#instead of just saying i don't get what the big deal is and she's not really any more or less special or talented than the next artist#you'll hear on the radio#anyway this post has been brought to you by 'why tf is she on the explore page'
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GUYS GUESS WHAT
I'M CHANGING MY MAJOR TO CLASSICS!
I'M GOING TO BE DOUBLE MAJORING IN ENGLISH AND CLASSICS!
I AM SO FREAKIN' EXCITED I CAN'T EVEN!!!!!
#to clarify: I am still working on a transfer degree#english and psychology double major#so i'm going to finish that up just for the good vibes#and some much needed info on how to help me heal my trauma (tm)#then when ya girl transfers she's gonna start out with a classics and english double major!#AND I AM SO FREAKIN EXCITED ABOUT IT!!!!!#classics#ancient greece#greco-roman culture#the christian in me is also fangirling about how greco-roman culture intersects with the new testament and ancient biblical cultures#guys this is so cool i'm excited about my schooling again#aaaah great joy!!!!#also this is such an answer to prayer because I was feeling very down earlier#happy feels!
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hands you all a lore guide, hands you all a lore guide hands you all a --
#【✧】 ooc ; i'm just a little guy.#【✧】 metas.#{ carrd got back to me and was like ''hey it was taken care of it's working now'' at one am in the morning. }#{ me sitting here with my head in my hands like why did this happen at all just wondering!! just curious!! }#{ BUT HEY. LORE GUIDE UP ??? I GUESS. }#{ it will. periodically be updated. at least the people will. }#{ got a buddy that is interested in making some characters that will tie in with vivi's Lore :tm: but they don't rp on tumblr. }#{ but even so. the characters will make mention eventually hehe }
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