#like i dont think any of the guys will assault me or anything like that theyre all chill but itll be so weird and awkward

[storywestistrash]

watched mouthwashing finally. the fact that i saw people be more aggressive towards curly than jimmy is kinda strange. kinda real weird

[al-luviec]

juvie buddies

[urbestestwindgod]

tw for discussion of rape and all and a hot take i guess

ok i dont rlly like to get serious or anything on this blog but i just wanted to mention that even if it was left up for interpretation if calypso raped odysseus or not, the stuff she still does isnt okay. like she still holds him captive, she still harasses and tries to coerce him after knowing that he is married and doesnt want her. she holds him captive KNOWING IT MAKES HIM SUICIDAL. thats not haha girly things that called being an abuser. yes, holding someone captive and trying to manipulate them out of suicide (as opposed to support them) is abusive.

i know she has a pretty voice but like, did you think jorge would cast a random untrained smoker from an opium den to play her so we know that this isnt a good character? and also you can compliment people’s designs of calypso without being ok with rape, because its just a design, but when its “shes my wifey” and “ii love her” its suddenly not like any other epic villain simping because the thing is she isnt a god sinking his ships or lighting bolting his crew to death; shes sexually abusing him (i am also not going to debate if sexual harassment is different from sexual abuse because its not. even if she never raped him she was still trying to coerce him and harassed him; which is abusive)

if there’s anything i dont fuck with its sexual misconduct. rape, harassment, abuse, all of it. dont give me that shit. the only thing that irritates me more than “haha id dropkick that child in self defense” is any victim blaming or pro rape statement that i displeasurably have to hear. like back to “her voice is so pretty” or just “shes so pretty” hey yea thats what most male rape victims are told. that she was so hot though, so he must have liked it. shes not “just a girl” shes an abuser.

now i know people where a little peeved that jorge removed rape from the circe saga; but i think its reasonable why he did. the epic community is very connected and always has memes for the situations odysseus is in. which, when its haha his friend was killed by a cyclops, or his crew was killed by an angry father, or his men where turned to pigs, or haha hes sad at whatever fantastical situation hes put in; we can laugh at it. because not only is it not real because its a story, but also no one has ever been through that. no ones ever faced off a cyclops in a cave before.

but people have been raped. men have been raped and heard the whole “shes so pretty and sweet thoo”. thats real. and with the circe saga jay knew that putting in rape, so early in too, that it wouldn’t be a plotpoint that fit in because that isnt an epic misfortune they face! thats a real situation; not the men to pigs and sea witch stuff, but being pressured and coerced into sleeping with someone? that is a real situation that real people are put in.

and i know male sexual assaults are iffy to people somehow. so lets say that a woman was in odysseus’ place and circe/calypso were men. does that make it worse? because both are bad. i dont fuck with rape towards ANYONE. regardless of gender, i dont think in 2024 we still should be debating is men can be raped

but back to jorge; i think he was brave for making love in paradise go how it did. i think even implying rape was a brave choice for the musical; especially with a very unserious and jokey fandom (not saying its not also serious but still) but even if you interpret that calypso never touched him. in the odyssey she did, and how tf do you LIKE a character who in the source material was a rapist? shes not “allowed to do bad” shes not “just a girl” shes a predator, and idn something about seeing her get support despite that reminds me of people like my uncle, my brother, my friend’s stepdad, a classmate or two. my uncle being able to have a restaurant, my brother having “a bright future” a certain classmate who got a girl pregnant and then went on to go to prep school. while she carried a child from a random guy in another state. you can support and joke about poseidon from epic and all, but when you start talking about calypso the same way you aren’t invalidating odysseus because hes not real. but you are invalidating countless real life victims.

and these are bold words from someone who isnt even mad about zeus of all people, because i know the culture he was from and i know that he was a metaphor/symbol to said culture. but the odyssey was a story with characters who survived by virtue of extending past that cultural bias. i can pull away from the odyssey as a piece of its time and understand that calypso wasnt probably seen as a rapist back then because the term didnt apply, but as a character i hate her like i hate theseus

and i know calypso was technically a goddess but that didnt mean much for her except immortality and being able to sexually abuse better. she wasnt worshipped (to my knowledge?) or exactly metaphorical. and epic is a modern retelling; so modern standards apply; shes a predator. i wont be taking any counter points because like i said dont do me with that shit

tl;dr your support for fictional rapists extends to what real victims have gone through, and check your lust because backing up every pretty voice/face is a rape culture classic

also im not saying that if you like calypso youre a pro rape asshole, dont think that. but i am saying youre not helping anyone and more hurting than anything by treating a character who is a sexual abuser like just another fantasy villain

[flower-boi16]

sorry for the incoming rant.

(cw for: mainly arophobia but also mentions of acephobia and mentions of people shipping an abuser with their victim)

praying for the teens and pre teens who think hazbin is *the* show for queer rep or progressive in any matter. it scares me immensely. not only the blatant fetishism and sex negativity and whatnot, but the fact people are being taught that labels *don't mean anything* and that they can do whatever they want (with a character).

yeah, "i gave my characters labels but fuck those labels ship whatever you want" is SURELY a great sentiment to leave behind. surely nobody would erase or discriminate against labels and identity, right? surely people WOULDN'T repsect labels and identities, right?*COUGH* *COUGH*

seriously the amount of ace- but more aro-phobia in that cult/clusterfuck in that fandom is insane. i hate how the aro tag has been poisoned/infiltrated by red twink no. 45 because of shipping discourse, and these people are being enabled by their "leader", never being lectured correctly. these people will ONLY listen to anyone who either agrees with them or isn't part of said label/identity. im so pissed. aros have little to none rep AT ALL and even then people will erase existing rep or come up with shitty excuses (if i hear the phrase "b-but aros can still date!!" one more time im breaking something. you dont care about the AROMANTIC dating experience, you only care about your stickmen kissing. period.). its more than exhausting.

i am not the only aro and aro-ace severly pissed off by this but im afraid there's nothing we can do. these people ship a severly traumatized victim and their assaulter together so im not suprised. at all.

all i came to know is that nobody actually fucking cares about representation or labels- they're all hopping around in fanfiction-shipping wonderland and bullying people relentlessly if they DARE to think otherwise. and they're being enabled.

-an exhausted and "done" aromantic. (i'm also on the ace spectrum but that's not as important to me right now- even though striker- the only one that's not horny 24/7 and clearly sex-repulsed or at least disgusted, is played as a big joke, but i believe someone else already said that. but that alone should raise eyebrows.)

Honestly, I don't even know what to add other than...this fandom kinda sucks. Like first bullying someone into killing themselves over shipping stuff and now this? And the fact that Viv doesn't call out ANY of this shit at all makes it worse.

Look, I'm of the opinion that we should not blame a creator for having a shitty fandom, HOWEVER, Viv needs to stop enabling her fans and say SOMETHING about this behavior.....but she isn't. Like, she could just say "hey guys stop doing this pls" buuuuut no. She's too busy whining about people criticizing her shows to actually do that.

Alastor is aroace guys, stop trying to erase that part of him just so you can drool over him. Just do that for LITTERALY ANY OTHER CHARACTER. It's that simple.

[eternityservedcold]

an extremely thorough list of content warnings for jojos bizarre adventure

because the old one was made by a deleted blog so it isnt easily accessible any more (and i dont think it was good enough to begin with)

btw if you say anything to the effect of "why do people like jojo when it has x" or "you guys really excuse y?" on this post im just gonna block you. people who get angry about me saying to skip parts/episodes will also get blocked.

feel free to reply/send an ask with anything i missed, preferably with a chapter or episode number. parts 7 and 8 wont be on here in full until i finish reading them but feel free to send me cws for them and ill add them. also the warnings are just in the order they appear, and more specifically when they appear in the anime, so as to not have weird "x is more important than y" nonsense

general warnings

these are things that…. basically if youre triggered by these i think you should just sit this out tbh. its an amazing series but its not worth repeatedly triggering yourself. this ones just ordered alphabetically bc its throughout (read: in at least 3 parts)

blood, violence, body horror, gore, and death -amputation -animal abuse and death (especially of dogs) -decapitation -eye, nail, and mouth horror -impalement -parental and sibling death -police brutality -suicide and self harm

child abuse -child abandonment -corporal punishment -leering shots of minors bodies -pedophilia (still gets a warning every time) -physical abuse

christian themes and symbolism

drug use -alcohol -tobacco -underage drug use -unspecified white powder

fire and explosions

gambling

misogyny, both in-universe and on the part of the author

racism (gets specific warnings every time)

sexual misconduct -catcalling -rape (still gets a warning every time) -sexual assault -sexual harassment

unsanitary -eating/drinking gross things —being forced to eat/drink gross things -pee -poop -snot -vomit

vehicle accidents -car accidents -plane crashes

part 1: phantom blood

(manga only) ritual sacrifice

restricted eating

non-consensual kissing

(manga only) a dog is shown on fire

poisoning

chinese ethnic stereotypes

a baby gets eaten

part 2: battle tendency

okay im gonna rip the bandaid off now. there are nazis in this one, and its significantly worse than youd expect just reading that. im gonna quote the old list here: "there are so many nazis in this part and they’re not condemned like at all tbh". i would almost say its glorified, one of the main allies is a nazi and another main ally directly praises a different nazi. in the manga, hitler and swastikas are explicitly shown as well as nazis being called by name, but in the anime, they are removed and simply called german soldiers.

almost nothing from this part comes back in the future and what does come back is explained as it comes up or is understandable from context. so please. if you need to skip this part, just do it. i even understand if you skip the whole series because of this.

its possible some may find the mesoamerican aesthetic of the villains in this part to be insensitive or offensive. im mexican and i personally dont, but i could see why someone would

racism toward: -black people -mexican people —slavery and degradation of mexican women is explicitly shown -japanese people

hostage situation

kidnapping

human experimentation

ritual sacrifice

"man in a dress" gag and subsequent transmisogyny

unintentional incest. there are only two scenes of this, which are: -a character spying on someone (later revealed to be their mother) in the bath -going through said mothers belongings and talking about her panties

animal cannibalism

part 3: stardust crusaders

since fights in this part are much more self-contained than the other parts, its possible to skip some of these if youre triggered by them. those will be marked with chapter and episode numbers

a woman gets spontaneously undressed in the middle of a fight (only her bra shows but it happens against her will)

jotaro, a 17 year old, kisses an adult woman to save her from possession. i wouldnt really say this is pedophilia and it lasts for 1 panel/less than 10 seconds but i found it uncomfortable

while incapacitated from sickness, holly will randomly be shown naked with weird leering camera angles. this happens many more times in the anime than the manga

pedophilia (depicted as a bad thing and the victim is saved before anything happens) (skip chapters 17-19/episode 7)

native american stereotypes (skip chapters 20-22/episode 8)

"person gets replaced" trope (skip chapters 23-6/episode 9; chapters 76-79/episode 27)

infection

suffocation

drowning

"child acting like a pervert" trope (skip chapters 92-96/episodes 32-33) -in the same episodes, the child spends the entire fight naked which might be uncomfortable for some

stardust crusaders ova

this gets its own subsection due to being so different that i was having to say "this doesnt apply to the ova" for a lot of the warnings. unlike the main sdc section, since this ova is extremely pared down, there wont be skippable warnings. also note that this is in "manga order", so its 2000 ova then 1993 ova

the english voice actor for avdol (a black/egyptian character) is a white guy doing a vaguely "ethnic" accent

the non-consensual kissing thing above, here its with a girl jotaros age though

infection

suffocation

ritual sacrifice (used as the intro animation for the 1993 portion)

drowning

part 4: diamond is unbreakable

rape, pedophilia, and kidnapping mentions

physical abuse

electrocution

blackmail

yandere trope -emotional abuse -isolation -stalking -kidnapping

restricted eating

skin picking

(anime only) jumpscare

invasion of privacy (skip this part if this bothers you because one of the main allies power is just, doing this, and its constant)

"child acting like a pervert" trope

bodysnatching/"person gets replaced" trope

theres an uncomfortable scene where a child gets attacked in the bath (non-sexually). both the child and the attacker are naked for the duration of the scene

part 5: vento aureo/golden wind

gang violence/the mafia (main crux of the plot)

bullying

(anime only) racism toward japanese people

reckless driving

torture

rape (not shown just heavily implied)

terminal illness/infection/disease

(anime only) pedophilia

forced childbirth (its like, magical childbirth and the mother doesnt register it)

possibly offensive depiction of systems (systems, feel free to correct me on this)

medical malpractice

a guy gets swapped into a girls body and gropes it

part 6: stone ocean

(anime only) heavy use of chromatic aberration, which may be eye straining for some

this part is really horny, comparatively speaking. this isnt really a bad thing but depending on your level of comfort with that you may want to skip

(manga only) misgendering a trans man

hallucinations

memory loss

abuse of religious authority

(manga only, only in some translations) homophobic slur

grooming

gang violence

"disposable sex worker" trope

creepy stalker-ish behavior (the person who does it becomes a main ally & never stops or eases up)

cult

drowning

electrocution

unintentional incest

the kkk (in the anime its a generic racist mob) -lynching

part 7: steel ball run

possibly offensive depiction of native americans (feel free to correct me if youre native)

a 14 year old girl: -is a child bride and im pretty sure this isnt condemned at all -gets hit on by adults -experiences a rape attempt? -gets pregnant?

the entire plot is about curing a disability

medical malpractice

capital punishment

(only in some translations) r slur variant

homophobic slur

attempted pedophilia/rape?

"bisexual sex pest" trope (grown woman making advances toward a minor/trying to rape her)?

part 8: jojolion

ableism?

rape?

part 9: the jojolands

"unsettling gender reveal" trope

pedophilia

[wonderinglostsoul]

Criminal Mind Fanfic

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: You are an FBI agent with a past and you were about to enter the BAU.

Trigger warning: BAU stuff like killing, violence, assault, mention of rape and suicide. I tried not to get too graphic with the decription

Note: This is a slow burn so I hope you can bare with me. I am trying to make it as short as possible. ( I actually wrote this note when I am writing the first chapter and now I have 8 chapters on my draft sooooooooo)

I know that it is a long read but I tried to make each chapter as interesting as possible by adding some case. And as a reward here is a smiling Thomas Gibson

You can view other chapters on Wattpad

Master list:

Chapter 1

You arrived at the BAU one hour earlier. No one was there yet so you roam around the office to make yourself busy, trying not to touch anything. You don’t want to evade any privacy or think that you were snooping even before you get the job.

As you roam around you study each of the desk. There is a desk with a lot of books and science fiction stuff. The desk was tidy but not organize. You know that this is a guy in his late 20s. He was hired by the FBI not because of his strength but his intelligence.

The next table was easier to identify because of a family picture on the table. It was the blonde woman who is an FBI and her husband? You figure that he is a cop. You were about to go to the next table when one of the office at the top of the stairs open.

“Can I help you?” A man says with a soft voice. He is fit, tall and handsome. You can see a hint of tiredness in his eyes. Or was it sadness? All you know is that he havent left his office since yesterday. You got a glimpse of the name tag on the door. It says Aaron.

“Mr. Aaron Hotchner, Hi I am [Y/N/L].” You hurriedly went upstair and held out your hand. “Nice to meet you sir”

He shakes your hand and spoke “You too. But you were early, our meeting was not supposed to be in an hour. Please come in” He opened the door.

When you enter the room you see some paper works. He go to one end of the table and he asked you to sit on another.

He read your file. You know that half of it are true but the other half? Its only your previous boss knows.

“This is a good recommendation that you’ve got. However, your experience with the bureau is… short. I am not sure if it can be sufficient with what we need right now.” He said while he continue reading your resume. You can see the hesitation on his face.

“I do understand that you wanted to hire someone who has experience. But I know that I can be of help with you here, sir. I can be of help so you dont have to pull all this all nighter and spend the rest of your time with your son.” You told him. He looked at you intently. You knew that he was not convinced but both of you also know that this interview is just a formality. Hotchner does not want to hire anyone through nepotism. And this scenario reminds him of how Emily Prentiss started in BAU and he is afraid that the history will repeat it self

He sighed and put the folder down. “ I want to be honest with you,” he said in a low serious voice. “I dont know who you are but everyone on the higher ups wanted me to hire you. But this job. What we do, its important and dangerous and if I cannot trust you or you lacking the experience you might be endangering us all”

“Then try me.” You said, sighing in between smile. “If my experience is not enough for you then put me on the field so I can show you what I can do. I know that I have all these backers but I also studied behavioral science and profiling so I know what I am doing. I pass my exam here in Quantico so I am qualified as any of the agents here. I am top of my class. ” You said with conviction. A knock on the door interrupted your meeting. The door opens and a bubbly blonde open the door. You figure out that she was not the same kind of agent that you are.

“I’m sorry, sir but the Texas PD called and they need our help.” She said.

“Thank you, Garcia. Tell everyone to meet at the conference room.” He said.

“Yes, sir.” She said then closed the door.

“I hope you have your travel bag with you. Follow me please.” He stand up and headed to the door.

We arrived at the conference room and everyone fell silent and looked at us.

“Everyone this is [Y/N]. She will be part of the team “Probationally”.” Hotchner Said emphasizing the probationally.

He starts introducing everyone. Reid, the guy with all the book, Jennifer, the woman with a kid and cop husband, Penelope, the girl who knocks at the Hotchner’s door, Morgan and Rossi.

They were talking about a mass shooting in Texas but they cannot find the shooter.

“An L.D.S.K. “Reid said as a matter of fact.

“What is L.D.S.K?” You asked.

“Long distance serial killer” Reid answers.

“A sniper?” You asked. Hotchner click the remote and shows the victims photo.

“Most likely yes. It seems that the victims were being assassinated. The shooter is from a high a place and shot in the victims in the head and the trajectory of the bullet is in downward position” Hotchner explained. Great! You thought. The last thing you need is a case related to your past

“We need to go to texas. wheels up in 30.” Hotchner added and then he headed out of the conference room.

Everyone started to stand up and followed hotchner. You stayed because you thought of something but Morgan interrupted your thought.

“Hey newbie, you coming?” He said,

“Yes, yes.” You said absentmindedly.

You arrived at the jet. Good thing that your previous boss told you to ready a travel bag because this assignment requires a lot of traveling. Derek and Reid are already seated beside each other, in-front of them is JJ. So you seated at the long couch beside them. Rossi and hotchner was seated at the other side of the plane. The screen opens and Garcia was at the monitor. Rossi and hotchner both stand up and join your area. Rossi seated beside you and hotchner seated on the armrest beside Rossi.

They started to discuss about the victimology. 2 of the victims are male both from a different age group and industry.

“I remember one of our L.D.S.K unsub. The nurse. He would use his car to hide himself and shoot his victim.” Morgan suggested

“Yes but he was not aiming for the head. He was only aiming for the stomach. And he was shooting as many victims as he could so he can save them. But this new unsub kills all the victim.” Reid said.

“Of course you remember it correctly. This is were you got your gun right, out of hotch pity because you saves his life.” Morgan teasing.

“I was able to pass my exam after that so I earned it fair and square” Reid answered.

“Alright, how about you [Y/N] do you have your gun. If not, I think Reid’s whistle is around here somewhere. “Morgan teases and started looking around

“She has a perfect score on her qualifying exam. She has the license to use any kind of guns” Hotchner said. You glance at him and you saw that he was looking at you. Everyone fell silent so try to join the quip.

“I can teach you when we comeback” You told Reid with a smile. “ But my tip is to Aim, shoot and follow thru.”

“Thats the same tip from hotch.” You look at hotchner and he was still looking at you intently so you smiled at him. To stop the awkwardness you address garcia,

“Garcia, do you know the height of the victim?”

“Not yet but I will send you the details as soon as I got the ME.” Penelope responded,

“And can you please check the trajectory of the bullet. Can they Identify the angle?” You added

“For what?” JJ asked,

“To find where the shooter was located during the shooting. We can narrow down the buildings and floors to search.” Rossi answered JJ. “That was impressive [Y/N]. You seems to know a lot about balistc.”

“Yeah” You answered.

“Rossi, [Y/N] and Reid, go to the hospital and check the bodies, you can get your answers there. Morgan, JJ go to the lasted crime scene. I will meet at the texas pd.” Hotchner ordered. They all go back to their seat. You read your case file again and analyze the crime scene.

“Newbie, what’s your story” Morgan asked you.

“What do you mean?” You answered peaking from the case file.

“What do you do before you join the BAU?” He asked, everyone was waiting for you to answer. Even Hotchner put down his case file to listen.

Of course you cannot tell them who you really are. It is confidential and they might not understand even if you tell them. So just tell them all the half truth on your resume. You study behavioral science and profiling in quantico. At the same time you do trainings to be a field agent. You have a short stint as an undercover agent and then you asked to be transferred to BAU to pursue your dream job and become a profiler.

“Why is it that your dream job is to become a profiler? It seems rare to find someone with that dream.” JJ asked.

“Because I can read people easily like an open book. For instance, you are married with 2 kids. You grew up in a farm and based on your body built you are athletic. When we are waiting for take off, you ere fidgeting your phone, contemplating whether to call or not but you opted to text. I concur that you had a fight with your husband and you just inform him that you were on the plane and might not be home tonight. I can go on but I dont want to be rude. But I guess you got my point.” You said apologetically.

“Thats amazing,” JJ said still in shock.

“I know, but it seems that I cannot read 100% of who they are and it still puzzles me how they can kill so many people. Do they have remorse or do they enjoy it so much. All I know is that there are alot of things that you can learn with the human behaviour.” You said passionately.

“I hope you’ll get what you needed here. “ JJ said warmly.

“Thanks” you answered,

The plane landed in Texas. When you embarked to the tarmac you see 3 cars waiting for you. You follow Reid and Rossi to the hospital.

At the hospital you confirmed that the unsub did the shooting at a high place. Approximately 18 floors. You asked garcia if there are building like that in a 10 mile radius and she confirm that there are 17 buildings. you were able to narrow it down because of the position of the victim when it falls. He was laying on his back so most likely he was facing the direction of the shooter.

You call Hotch and mentioned this to him. He asked Morgan and JJ to join you so that you can check floors 17 to 19.

You were able to find the bullet casing on the 18th floor and handed them with the ballistic team. Hotch asked you all to go back to the station to round up your findings.

On the way Garcia was able to find the connection on the victims. They were a member of robbers who were responsible on robbing a bank in the early 90’s. The statue of limitation was about to expire soon and they can now used the marked money that they were able to rob during that time. The team figures that one of the member was trying to eliminate the others to have all the share by themselves. There are still 3 members alive.

The team was able to profile the suspect. Male in their late 40s early 50s. Previous member of a gang. Not really an anti social but does not have any committed relationship in the past years.

The team investigated the bank robbery to identify the other suspect. You spent almost the whole day and still does not got anything. Hotch told everyone to go back to the hotel take a rest and start fresh tomorrow.

You were walking at the corridor when Hotch called you. You glance back and said “What’s up?”

“You did great a while ago at the building. You were able to identify the crime scene. It seems to me that you really know a lot with regards to guns and ballistic but it does not show in your resume.”

“It was just a hobby.” You said defensively. “I also read alot of cases before thats why I knew how to examine medical reports. And I guess watching alot of criminal drama also do good.” You told him smiling. Hotchner just nod but still examining you.

“Sure. Rest up and have a good night.” He bid you good night and open his door. You make way to your own room and started to settle in.

The next morning you all reconvene at the station. This time you made the connection. You were separated in 3 teams and went to each suspects house. All of them was out. On the 2 of the suspect you saw letters asking them to meet at the nearby plaza but the other one did not. Now you knew who is the unsub. Hotchner asked everyone to meet there but before you go with Hotchner to the car you realized something.

“Hotchner, wait!” Hotch glance back at you, holding the car door.

“I dont think that the unsub will be at the meeting place. If he used a sniper before, I bet he will also use one here. He will hunt both of them down.”

“You’re right!” He get his phone and dialed Garcia.

“How can I help you today lovely people.” Garcia greeted at the other side of the phone.

“Garcia, can you find a building near the park. around 10mile radius.”

“There are several, ma’am.”

“How about High rise building with atleast 18 floor?” Hotchner asked.

“There are 7 but there is one building with exactly 18 floors and the highest floor is currently renovated. I will send you the address.”

“Thank you!” You and Hotchner both shouted. You go in the car. Reid was waiting for you. While driving you called everyone and mentioned your finding. You will go to the building while the rest will go to the park. Hotchner also asked back up. While on the way you saw a taller building, atleast 20 floors high. You ask Hotchner to stop.

“Stop the car!” You shouted.

“Why did you find anything?” Hotchner asked.

“I am about to. You go to that building that garcia mentioned. I will check something here.” You said in a hurry. You were about to go down. When Hotchner asked you to stop.

“I did not authorized you to do any of this unless you tell me why. Why do you need to go to that building. What is the connection to the case?”

“I cannot tell you just yet. But I can promise you that I can help. just please trust me on this. If I screw up then fire me right here. Just trust me please.” But you know he will not do that so you immediately grab the black bag you stash under the seat and jump out the car. You heard the car go away but you did not look back.

You run in the building and asked the guard that you need to go to the roof. You show your FBI ID badge and they escort you immediately. When you were at the last floor you asked the guard to stay put and dont approach the rooftop until you said so.

When you are at the rooftop, you open your bag. Inside is your sniper. Which you always bring anywhere with you. What was not added in your resume is that you were a trained sniper of the FBI. You are one of the best there is. You assemble the gun and insert some bullets.

You position your gun and look into the scope to locate the building that Garcia mentioned. You scan the top floor and saw the UnSub. He was preparing to shoot. You scan the park and saw the target and you also saw Morgan, JJ and Rossi approaching the 2 targets. When suddenly each of the swat team started falling down. You knew that the unsub was shooting. Before anything else, you point your gun to the unsub. You can see him smiling. And with your instinct you pull the trigger. It hit the unsub in the head. You saw his gun fall on the ground when he lose grip and fell down. Your heart was raising. This is the first time that you use your sniper after that unfortunate event. You were still looking at the scope when you saw Hotchner go to the window trying to find the one who shoot the unsub but you know he will not find you because you are a few miles away that the naked eye cannot see anymore. You look at him at scope for a while. Trying to read his facial expression. You know that he knew you were the one who did this so you know that he was angry at you. But when you look intently at his face, it was not anger, but rather worry that was registering in his face. He was scanning every single building around but to no avail. He frowned then you saw Reid joined him. He talked to Hotchner. Based on his lip movement you read that the others are fine and the officer that was hit was not critical. You smiled and put away your gun.

You retrieve the bullet casing and put it on your pocket. You went down and join the team at the park.

When JJ see you she was surprised.

“I thought you were with Hotch and Reid at the building where the UnSub is?” JJ asked

“Something happened thats why we have to split. How’s everyone? “ you answered her

“Everyone was fine. Some of the SWAT Team got shot as we approached the target but there were graze, I dont think the UnSub has any intention to kill them.” Morgan answered.

“And what will happened to the robbers?” You asked him

“The statue of limitation will not expire until tomorrow so they can still be arrested.” Morgan answered. You smiled.

“Thats great.” You know they have questions. Its not normal that the boss will let someone alone especially during they apprehension of the suspect. And the bag that you carry. You look more suspicious than any unsub there is. But you know that this is your last day. so you do not care anymore.

When you arrived at the station you saw Hotchner. He was shocked for a second to see you and is that a hint of relief? No, you must be imagining. And in a split second his face become serious again. He raised on eyebrow and then look away. You know that you were fired the moment you left that car. So you just approached him holding your badge.

“Sir,” You said in a low voice. When he turn around you stretched your arm, offering him your badge. He just raised his eyebrow again at the sight of the badge then he look at you

“We will talk when we arrive in Quantico.” He said then turn back to whatever he was doing. You retrieve your hand and walk away, joining the rest of the team.

The plain ride was excruciating. Hotchner was quiet and pretending you did not exist. The rest was minding also there own business. So you just lay down on the couch and tried to snooze all the noises. You cannot believe that you were able to screw your dream job.

[kel-lance]

JJK Mafia Au (JJK x Reader) PART 5

Warnings:

- TW: Dead dove dont read (DDDR) Minors do not interact (MDNI): SA, Physical Assault, DubCon, NonCon, Mindbreak, Public Humiliation, Breeding, Ownership, Gaslighting, Multiple manipulation, RWORD, PTSD, a lot more toxic sh.

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AN: It’s my birthday! And I think this is my favorite chapter so far.

I hate to ask though I’m still struggling with the unemployment (got fired from a big bank bc of protesting months ago), the gov rn is holding my weekly needs so I’m about to get evicted next month. If you could donate anything I’d really really appreciate it 😥😥 I had to give away two of my cats already and I’m heartbroken abt it but they’ll have better homes at least. Thanks for reading.

PayPal: appleg0d Cashapp-$taa10t Venmo- taakt17

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“Hey aren’t you supposed to be watching me or something?” You tailed behind this silver haired twink and wondered if he was taking his mission seriously. Was he not afraid of Gojo? Did you get raped by /another/ lowley member of society?

He ignores you and keeps walking down the hall. You stop and wonder if he’ll notice if you were gone. Maybe he was hoping on it, but then you would be out in the open. It may not be such a big deal if it were just a few days ago, but this huge mess was someone's fault, and it couldn’t be yours, could it?

He turns the corner and you swear you saw him glare at you before disappearing. You were now left alone in this large walkway. What the fuck do you do? Before you were fine, you lived for years on your own, but right now you needed someone to tell you what to do.

What the hell was going on? This was “just mafia life”? Or generally being reduced down to just a woman? You backed into the wall and let yourself think for once, while everything was happening, you turned your brain off to survive. Would the days worth of torture and change be too much for you?

You didn’t have to think about that before. Maybe once or twice, but that was when you knew the Gojo and Zenin gangs’ turf. You don’t remember if you’ve seen any of them before, while living normally. Of course most of them looked like anyone else. Without their faces of death, they just looked like regular people.

“What are you doing all alone?” Your eyes shot toward the direction of the new voice. It was pretty, almost melodic as it bounced around the empty hall.

A young man walks towards you, his presence almost indescribable. His smile and looming height were welcoming, but his eyes and dark features, you could read them well. You almost wished Inumaki hadn’t ditched, though you couldn't tell if he could save you from this new character.

“?” He stops in front of you, crossing his arms, still smiling. “I asked you a question.” Fixing his stance, he trapped you by leaning in, as you hadn’t left your spot against the cold wall.

“What? Have you been hanging around Inumaki or something?” He grabs hold of your face, pulling it up, forcing your attention to him. “Speak.” He smiled.

You were tired of this, grabbing back at his arm, you really tried to pull it off of you. Strength would be an issue, but you knew how to use the rest of your body. Jumping up, your wrap your legs around his waist, taking this as a chance to catch him by surprise, hopefully with your weight you were hoping to throw him off his feet. Sadly, you wouldn’t get further than this, as the risky move really costed you.

The dude held you at the waist, locking you in with his grip. His face annoyed, or was it more bored? What was with these guys/ How do they just do this for fun?? You freeze again, you could feel it. “No,” You say. “Please I’m so tired.”

He only looks at you, fear set in deep in your chest though you still didn’t know who this weirdo was. He was as scary as if you knew who Sukuna was in that alley. Exactly who he was and knew what he and did to you. The bulge in his pants getting bigger as you trashed trying to get away, but he just pushed you further into his core.

“My cousin? He didn’t even mean it.” He closes the gap between you two, pressing your chests together, one hand holding you up just by your ass, the other on your back keeping you close, your heartbeat uncontrollable now. “Ill show you what yearning’s really like.” And with that he starts to walk, bringing you back to the living quarters, finding your new/designated room.

“I’ve probably known you longer than any of these idiots, and you let my cousin get to you...” His sweet voice gave the same tone as a knife being sharpened. “When I knew you first.” Your eyebrows furrowed.

“You can think long and hard, but I remember what happened to you 2 years ago. And what about what happened 5 years ago, and I have to mention how cute you looked in glasses.” You sank into yourself, your entire being wanted to disappear. He knew? How did he know? You haven’t worn glasses since high school. And those events, no one would ever have been able to know about.

He brings you to the bed and keeps a hand on you, holding you down with just his hips to yours. God you couldn't do it again. Everything hurt, seriously youd wish they'd be able to knock you out and just let you deal with their mess after, but you knew he wasn’t gonna be merciful with you.

His grip hurt. It’s like he was a spoiled child told to wait, and now that he has his present and he just couldn’t wait to tear it apart. The more you squirmed, the more strength he applied. Pinning you further into the bed, and everytime youd move away from his sloppy desperate kisses, he’d actually create a fist and hit you in the face, making it easier for him to continue. You noticed he was getting angry around the 5th hit, “How could you let Gojo so easily when I wanted you first?!”

The door opens and Inumaki walks in. “Toge help!” You tried. At this point your lip and nose were bleeding. Your head was pounding with the way he was just playing with you, strangling you for a few seconds and then kissing you everywhere, praising you for the noises you made. The next few could’ve knocked you out so he had resorted to punching at your arms and legs, adding pain to every movement you could manage after the breath play.

“Don’t be such a whore.” He kept you pinned to the bed. “You don’t have to worry about him, he’s been keeping watch.” Your tears flowed into the bed, you couldn’t take this anymore. How many people were just going to use you or watch? It could /always/ be worse you thought. They could be doing a lot worse, but the inconsideration to your liveliness was killing you. The freedom you made for yourself was taken just because a man said so. You were more than frustrated, it was enough to let go of the mans arms finally, though your vision blurred through your tears, you could tell he was smiling at you.

“What’s wrong dove, have you finally figured out what you are?”

You look away, your eyes finding Toge’s. His purple irises shifted to the floor, not trying to look at you. He looked more upset than annoyed. Almost like he knew he couldn’t do anything to help anyway, he had no control over his friend. You just wished someone could stop all this already.

“Good thing he’s here, huh, or else something bad could happen to you.” He laughs and tells the other man to bring the rope, you’re a scratcher. If anything, he’s also seen what you’ve done to others who’ve underestimated you.

You give little resistance, knowing they’re not afraid to rough you up more to continue. ‘Skinny’ bound your hands together, and sits you at the head of the bed, holding your arms above your head. He was sitting up while having your head and upper body laying on his lap.

Not even a second later your clothes were around your ankles, and pulled above your chest. You were fully exposed, you try to pull your knees together. What actually made you give up was how silent they got. They weren’t taunting you right now and that terrified you, that they had a plan and seemed like they were sticking to it. At that point you just let them do whatever they wanted as the other stared with anticipation.

Yuta couldn’t wait anymore, the sight of you already had him eager. He’s waited years for you, staying low, continuing his mind games as his world didn’t agree with taking in outsiders, he could only work around you to learn about you, and who knows when this obsession started. His hands were all over you, grabbing, pulling, pinning, hitting you all over to let you feel the yearning he had for you.

"Ugh, seriously..." You were better than he thought. He growls under his breath, biting onto his finger, trying to hold himself back. Toge held your arms and torso down, more so held you in place as Yuta’s big hands laid another assault on your bare ass. He gives you no warning and aligns his pulled out tip to your hole and slowly shoves the head in.

Staying like that for a moment you were terrified if he was going to start going crazy on you. This position especially was going to hurt if he can’t put you in correct bindings already, your wrists hurt, your face hurt, you were about to hurt was all they were telling you.

“Hey, why haven’t you ever noticed me?”

“Answer him.”

“I just met you today, I don’t know you.” The words just flew out your mouth. That gave you no time as he shoved himself a tiny bit more inside, heightening the fear and pit in your stomach he was starting to reach.

“Why did it take this long for you to be under me?” “What took you so long?” It felt like he was growing bigger inside you.

“Answer him.”

“I don’t know you!” You could feel yourself squeezing around him.

His eyebrows furrowed as he tried to keep his composure. He almost busted from just the look you had but the extra pressure just made him want to start trusting and never stop. Instead he had to hold it together, just a little longer… “You know my girlfriend hates you. She’s someone who gets jealous over anything. “

He leans closer, picking up your chin to face him as he devours you with his eyes. “She waits for me everyday while I think about you. It was at first sight.”

“Hey, what do you think of me?” His eyes almost lit up as he asked that. “Hey, look at me.” You really just wanted them to get it over with already. This is dragging out so much longer it feels even worse than being at Sukuna’s weird mansion quarters or whatever it was.

“I told her you were just some bitch. I couldn’t care less about some stupid slut who lived on the streets.” His breathing and heart beat were quickening, hopefully this would be over. “I had to lie every time just to keep you close. It was to shut her up, bc your existence drives us both crazy.”

His drawn out sigh and uncontrollable convulsions came quick. He hadn’t even put the whole thing in. Wait that wasn’t the whole thing?? You look down and Jesus Christ it was half.

From this angle you must’ve been your tightest. At least you knew it made everything feel bigger, or was it just so close to your sweet spot that your body spawned back a bit, bucking into his release. “Hm?” He gave you a smile, “What was that just now? Did you just try to fuck me back?” He comes faces to face with you as he’s still releasing, giving you an awful smirk before kissing you again.

He was large alright, but not like the men in their 30’s. You swear after a certain age their dicks start to gain weight. The quiet one gently shoves Yuta’s upper body off yours so he could flip you, having you face his hard on directly. His dark haired friend loves the sight and says, “Suck him off, whore.” He pushes his hips fully into yours, connecting you three. He’d pushed your head down, having you throat his friend so far,your entire face was smothered by his hot skin.

He pulls you up and hisses, his whole body lightly twitching. Yuta groans, pushing your head back down on him as he rammed into you from behind. He was the only one moving all of you, creating a rough motion to pleasure everyone at the same time. If it were under different circumstances this would be so fun and hot, but you’ve read about the last few chapters, thank god it’s a fantasy. “This is just a fantasy.”

Your loud moans vibrate around his cock, driving him wild. His grip on your hair tightening as each fit drove you back into him. The other one grabs at your legs, pulling out and flipping you over, fully letting his partner come into you. God it was a sight, but the dark haired man didn’t flip you over just for that.

——————————————————————————

- then toge leaves to stand watch outside and god you were actually scared of yuta.

- he was as cruel as toji but disconnected as choso, there wasn’t even a reason for this he just knew he could so he did. He was merciless, you felt like you were about to pass out multiple times until he hit you back to life.

- he started to get mad that this was the best he’s ever had and now doesn’t want to share. He doesn’t want you off on your own because stuff like this happens.

- He gets mad at you for being so much better than he thought/better than his girlfriend. His gf doesn’t help him forget about you either. You were drilled into his head before he even met her, which definitely drove her crazy.

- And where were you this whole time (it’s rhetorical he’s been with you the whole time.)

- He blames you for this happening and now that he’s gotta breed you to make you his. He doesn’t care about the plan, he doesn’t care about anything else, you were in his grasp and he was never going to let it be so close again. He wanted you and was going to ruin everything for all 3 clans if it meant you two could finally run away together.

- he cuts in you and bites you and hits you a few times and you cry and he looks disgusted and leaves. Again he’s only known the idea of you. He’s used to seeing glimpses, staring from a far, hoping to hear lips of your voice, your laugh, even to start setting up cameras in places he knew you’d frequent. But as of right now, you’re his and he has work to do. He’s gotta make sure this stays his.

- leaving you with Nanami who starts cleaning you. (Next chapter?)

- Gojo’s hospitality is sure shit, he tells Shoko and others that if he didn’t order it then they’re not to help you. You didn’t think anyone here could have a heart, well with this line of business it was going to end up awful anyway, but you really couldn’t have told that this blond stoic, even scary looking man was the gentlest person who’ve known this entire few months of hell.

[coldresolve]

I’m sorry if this comes off as ignorant, that is not my intention.

What is torture apologia? I haven’t been able to find a specific definition and it’s confusing for me. What does it look like in regard to the whump community? On top of that, what are some ways to avoid this in writing?

If you don’t want to type out a response to this, how can this be researched? You make some good points in your post about it, and I want to make sure my own writing isn’t based on stereotypes and misinformation about the subject. I am very, very new to the “whump” community, so I don’t fully understand the ways that torture apologia might be displayed in some of the popular writings.

Thank you for your time, and I apologize if this comes off as ignorant or confrontational.

hey no worries, youre not gonna offend me by asking a clarifying question. what pisses me off are the people who flat out dismiss everything i have to say without actually engaging with it. youre nowhere close to that lmao i promise

uh. i use the sexual assault r-word a bit here, because i just came up with a good rule of thumb that requires drawing similarities between torture and r-word, so. trigger warning if you dont wanna read that

there is no real definition of torture apologia out there, but i treat it in the same way i would rape apologism. and i actually think theres real worth in keeping with that similarity, because rape is considered a form of torture. so like. yeah

id go as far as to say you can switch out "torture" with "rape" in your story to see if the logic holds up, if you might be saying something you don't want to say. for example, "my hero tortures the bad guy, and this is framed as a form of vigilante justice", swapped with rape, uh, might not exactly be the sorta message you would want to send lol. your hero can torture the bad guy ofc, im not saying they can't, but you better be ready to grapple with the full fucking depth of morality of a situation like that

off the top of my head, things i'd steer clear of:

anything that implies that torture is useful for any purpose. torture just traumatizes people, that's about it, and it's dangerous to spread ideas about whatever imagined utility, because your average person has zero grasp on basic ethics - this is what turns your "useful" torture into "sometimes justified". a third of people globally believe torture can be justified "in some cases". like i can't stress how real this issue is

torture works as an interrogation method or as a way to obtain false/forced confessions (useful)

torture can be used to make someone obedient (useful)

torture can be used to change people's beliefs (useful)

torture can be used to brainwash people/control them (useful)

stockholm syndrome through torture is included in ^ (useful and also just. ehh)

any variant of the ticking time bomb scenario (useful + justification)

torture being portrayed as "scientific"; torturers being "experts" in the "skill" or "art" of torture (implies utility)

when the bad guy does it, it's torture; when the good guy does it, it's vigilante justice (justification)

there's a handful of ideas people use a lot in fiction that i wouldn't necessarily categorize as apologia, but which do still send a message you maybe should think twice about sending. torture victims/survivors being "broken", they'll never be able to live full, happy lives, etc. and there's also this idea that torture only negatively affects the person who is being tortured. i especially think showing the effects torture has on perpetrators is worthwhile, but that might just me having a weird fascination with perpetrator trauma. torture also tends to fuck up the organizations that use it, so

[spikeinthepunch]

if you thought that was the last post i would write today about Lisa, you are a fool. i wrote that last one at 2am so i have energy for another one, bc i had *more* thoughts even after that

TW for sexual abuse/rape/assault (i am going into more detail so please take that TW seriously)

Do victims talk? & how all the men mean something.

This is stupid long, sorry lol. i threw two topics into one.

okay so i had these thoughts on my mind prior and again i havent played Joyful (a few minutes of the start only)-- but with just the context of Painful this still sits on my mind.

Do victims talk? I want to answer this for myself.

Lisa (the character) was sexually abused and The First was pretty much an inner look at her mind. This reflects through most of Painful whenever it comes up, even if they aren't straightforward about it. That was the main thing, was not being clear when i played Painful, I didn't know what I was getting into. but with enough information it wasn't hard to side with Brad whether it was because of the abuse or the suicide-- and the fact that Buddy had been kidnapped in a world of men, who needed her in order to bring the world back. From the start, I felt like I knew what was coming in that regard...

But Buddy's important to the world was clear.... Obviously important. But Buddy is a child and so when Brad has a realization/assumption over what will happen the player can side with him. When i played i was immediately like, oh god, oh jesus. Of course I wanted Brad to save her... what I saw in their life of Brad keeping her inside didn't seem wrong, not exactly.

But there was a change of mindset towards the end of the game. Thats where that good intent falters. And you look back and question things... you kind of realize why Buddy acted how she did, and how she has been able to defend herself.

But the biggest notice to me is the lack of Buddy talking about anything the men implied they did to her. When you explore you hear them say vulgar things, then you get the to the Hairspray guys (whatever theyre called) and you hear what they're saying about having her in a back room for men to take turns on her and thats the first "oh god" moment. You of course find a man in her place, but still implied that she was in fact here and escaped. So, the implication still remains... You haven't seen Buddy at this point so you dont know what she'd say.

But when you do-- that is when she brings up Sticky. And yet again, the implications make it sound like Sticky raped her to 'teach' her about sex. But buddy seems to describe it vaguely after Brad gets mad about it. To continue this furthers and more quickly-- other instances of abuse/violence/assault on Buddy that are show or mentioned are Buzzo cutting off her nipple (shown), the mutilation of her face (shown), and at the start of Joyful the comment that one of Rando's 'friends' tried to touch/assault/rape her when she was tied up (off screen). That last one, Buddy again brushes off and doesnt say much.

So what do i say this all for. Well, the question is "how much of this actually happened to buddy?" We saw some on screen violence. But rape, assault, molestation? She doesnt say it exactly... but I think any survivors or those familiar would know full well that that doesnt mean it didnt happen. I think its completely wrong to assume nothing could have happened. lets break down the things that occurred from Buddy's end/how she acts, and some other details

Brad has already closed her off and isolated her. she doesnt know like, anything. she probably doesnt understand at all what sex would be and what would be bad (much like many csa victiums!)-- especially if Sticky did it, someone she trusts.

She shuts down when she starts to tells Brad, not exactly because she doesnt want to tell him- rather because he starts to get mad. Buddy knows that is a scary reaction from the past and probably ties that all into the anger Brad had towards her wanting to learn and explore (something she felt Sticky did)

overall, Buddy wants to use this opportunity to explore and see and learn and most of all, not be with Brad. she doesnt want to talk to him or share with him anything because she knows what hes like.

and ultimately... victims often dont tell people. maybe they dont know how. maybe they dont realize its abuse (again, common for children who dont know a lot). and for buddy too, she doesnt trust the one person who wants to make sure she is safe from all of it.

to go on the statements Buddy and others make regarding these events- i think it would be odd for all of those men to be lying. especially sudden moments like the start of Joyful (especially when the guys said they killed the other for what he tried to do). The Sticky instance was stated by Buddy in a vague way herself which is reliable. there was enough shown violence, attraction, and ability to contain her for moments that it just doesnt seem right to think theyd be lying too, like the Hair guys.

In the end you have two important things to think about: Buddy does not trust Brad anymore. She won't tell him anything. And the men like bragging. They loved talking about her. With the evidence we had about when she had been capture her, this doesnt look like lying from them- they were proud to have potentially having her for good.

In this story the men mean a LOT. they imply so much. and after the secret boss fight? I realized they mean so much more.

How all the men mean something.

The secret fight with Marty showed how deeply ingrain he is in Brad's mind. I expressed a LOT more about that in this post from last night. But the main thing to gather for this topic is how a lot of that mindset is defended by Marty as "this is how men should be".

Masculinity. Power. Control. Dominance. He expected the same from Brad and failing to do so meant he was weak, unworthy, pathetic, unmanly... While Brad escaped and desperately didn't want to be like him, he did what Marty did to Dusty and he abused drugs, etc. For Brad, he cannot shake the guilt that he will be the abuser his father was.

What does this have to do with the world of Olathe being full of men? Oh it has so much to do with the story. The implications... Olathe is full of men. They have formed groups who fight each other and are quite horribly violent at times. Masculinity is undeniably at its peak, and directs much of their culture....

You see how masculinity plays a huge role? No not every man alive here is horrible and abusive. But the point is that masculinity drives them, and more often than not its an "excuse" to living the way they do. Be tough, hold your ground, don't let anyone make you weaker than them. If you're weak and you can't stand up, you will face consequences for it. Toughen up.

The sense of power and dominance these men have in this world became WAY more obvious when Buddy comes up. They are scrambling to find her and their dynamics become incredibly violent and push these aspects of masculinity to the worst of it. Marty's mindset is the worst of the twisted idea of how to assert authority, and how to treat someone weaker than you. You can do as you want. You can beat them or rape them. The culture that Olathe created for these men made them fall into this warped mindset much like the one Marty promoted. These guys knew Buddy was a weak little child. They wanted to use her and do as they pleased. They could they could because they were bigger, powerful, etc.

Their words and wishes are basically as disgusting as the things Marty would say. I think thats enough to solidify that connection.

Lisa has an incredibly interesting narrative on how a Victim is viewed from the outside. How abuse effects further abuse- the distrust of child to guardian in telling them when something bad has happened and the inability to save them due to it. And from the inside, how masculinity through trauma can warp your mind. How the influence of a man towards man, feeds into a cycle of abuse and the world where that masculine culture is ingrained in everyone no matter how deeply they act on it.

cycles. "you cant escape". everything things about it seems utterly hopeless but the game still pushes you towards something-- it makes you want to crawl towards the light that Brad struggles to reach. but this was never an easy process. your action created consequences you never wanted to happen in the first place. your intentions were selfish- you didnt learn, you didnt understand how actually fix this. it was a desperate attempt.

but by god you want to change it so bad. isnt that something? internally you gotta keep holding on to it. jesus christ, dont let go, or itll be all for nothing. you are not fated to be your abuser. you are not fated to never escape. you have to remember that. you must face all of this but you have to fucking rip apart the guilt and the anger and the sadness to get there first. maybe this wasnt the way to do it. but please dont give up, okay? thats what its all about.

[nonbinarygamzee]

something to be said about how homestuck as a continuity kind of gets away with the presentation of themes of csa and assault without ever having to commit to being stories that actually talk about those things because despite an at times overwhelming presence on the narratives at large, these topics only ever get Addressed in particular scenarios. most pointedly as means of blanket condemnation of characters the story already doesnt want you to like but keeps running into the trouble of having written them with more sympathy than intended. otherwise its all safely swept away into the implied, into the vague. for me, that only functions as another layer of alienation,to see things that happened to me and that have continued to literally control my life, regarded as like. a plot device. and i dont think every story that talks about abuse, especially sexual abuse, has to do so with this veil of horror and unease, because theres something to be said about making it a taboo too far that other direction, right. too horrible to speak about, thus too horrible to teach about.

idk. i think a lot about how as a teenager i was very into using the terms trauma/torture porn to describe why things hurt me so deeply, and how i feel now is kind of different, but moreso for realizing i was always kind of using it. differently. not to say i wasnt obviously a product of my environment in the hellscape of 2010s internet feminism, but like... for all it is a term reliant on demonization of porn as a stand in for sexual desire, i think its pretty evocative as relying on porn as a stand in for the horrors of an industry that uses bodies without care for those bodies. not to say porn is alone in that obviously, but theres a difference to me between a story that just invokes ideas of rape and assault in a way that is lackluster, or lazy, or clunky. vs a story whos insertion of these topics seems to function almost entirely as a means of shutting down a conversation. of reasserting that x character actually deserves everything without a shred of understanding and youre kind of the bad guy for thinking otherwise, since he like, totally raped/beat/molested that girl/child/whatever. and as further means of justification when those characters are then brutalized themselves, with a lot less obscurity than the supposed crimes they are committing.

i probably wont, because i doubt it would be pleasant for literally anybody else, but as ive been working on this little project idea of mine, i keep considering in application just going full ham on these themes, because ultimately in making anything sequential about homestuck, im kind of caught in this space of tearing open the walls of conversation the story (and its continuations) have been trying to shut down. i do not want to have that conversation on homestucks terms because homestucks terms have always prioritized telling me and people like me why we are wrong for feeling any kind of way, often before we even say it all, and then throwing our own experiences back in our faces and calling us perpetrators. if you want to have a story about the evils of preying on children, then actually have it.

[quodekash]

i went to bed instead of watching abaab and i woke up and im ✨sick✨

its not the plague but i have a sore throat and im really congested and i feel like a dump truck ran over me and poured all the bin juices in my brain, but its fine cos im here, im queer, and threezo are near

CONTENT WARNING: if youve seen this episode, youll be aware that there will be discussions of rape, sexual assault, and pedophilia. if any of these topics are triggering for you, please take the measures you require to stay safe, and please call emergency services if you require help, and talk to someone you trust. remember: you are not alone, and there will always be people who love and care for you, but you havent yet met some of them. stay safe everyone, i love you

i cannot for the life of me remember how the last episode ended so its lucky that they have little summaries at the starts of episodes cos otherwise id have no clue whats going on

OH YEAH THOOP WAS ARRESTED

hang on, dont they still need to go to work?

i cant remember what day it is and what they were doing before cher got that phone call but still

dang it ive already had a cup of tea today but i think i need another one

THREEZO HELLO (ft jack's luscious hair on the side there)

THREEZO ARE SO SWEET WHY ARE YOUR FACES LIKE THAT JACK AND TUB

okay, yeah, fair

HE IS HAPPY

HIS HAIR IS FLUFFY AND HE IS HAPPY

GREHJKDFGKJRB

aww

AWWWHHHH

awhh thoop is cryinggg

bro is in desperate need of a hug

IM GONNA CRYYYY

i love deep platonic bonds

especially when its found family

fnjgbhfbvhfb

**gasp** despicable!

HELLO THREEZOOOOO

hes so prettyyyy

and hes also so prettyyyyyy

GJKRTBNFDHKJRG I LOVE THEM

am i crying? yes.

im crying a lot

i love threezo so much

the grip these two have on my mental health and sanity--

have i rewatched this scene four times? yeah. do i now kinda just wanna curl into a ball and sob for a day or two? yeah. unfortunately i have to keep watching the episode

okay so its literally like six hours later now, ive tried having two naps, ive had three cups of tea today, as much medicine as i can have, and the sickness has done nothing but get worse which is just so fun but the only reason i wasnt watching abaab is bc i was trying to sleep and that's just not happening so im continuing the episode now

the commentary is gonna be very little tho btw bc im having trouble making coherent thoughts through all the conjestion clogging my brain

the way they smile at each other is so 🥺🥹

im TRYING--

sorry, last week i couldnt stop talking about the freaking pomegranate i was eating, today i cant stop talking about how sick i am, ill try and shut up about it and just watch the episode lol

SCREW THAT GUY

VAFFANCULO

I HATE HIM

I HATE HIM SO MUCH

idk much about the mother

BUT THE STEPFATHER CAN GO SHOVE A PIGNA UP HIS CULO

look, i hate cops and law enforcement

but i even more hate thoop's stepfather

and law enforcement, unfortunately, have a lot of power, but thats fortunate in this situation bc they can force him to shut up which is nice

oh, wouldya look at that. i was right.

im not happy about it. its freaking horrible. and its even worse that it happens every day in every single country and state and city and suburb and yet nothing is being done about it.

um. yeah. thats all i can think of to say.

SHE HAD TO PUT UP WITH IT FOR THREE YEARS???

holy hell thats freaking disgusting

i hate this so much. not that they included this in the show, im really glad they included it because it's freaking disgusting and not talked about enough, especially in mainstream media and stuff. i just freaking hate that rape exists and people have to put up with it every single freaking day of their freaking lives, and NOTHING is happening to fix this freaking disgusting issue

this episode is a lot heavier than i was expecting and idk if anything im saying makes any sense because im too sick for this and the things that happened are making me even more sick

HUZZAH, I WAS RIGHT

AND THIS TIME ITS A GOOD FEELING THAT IM RIGHT

HES NOT HOMOPHOBIC

HUZZAH, HUZZAH, PRAISE OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR JACK'S ALMIGHTY FLUFFY BEAUTIFUL HAIR

sobbing, i cant do this, theyre too sweet

AH SHOOT, I JUST REALISED IVE BARELY DRANK ANY WATER TODAY

as per usual, your hair is on fleek today, my friend

he's angry at laem, but his hair is perfection

the perfect way to get someone to shut up: shove food in their mouth as fast as possible (im using this at some point) (also how the hell is his hair so pretty i love his hair too much. i think i always spend more time talking about jack's hair than i do talking about the actual episode)

gun's mother has such a sweet sounding voice but her words sting like poison, jeez

OH HELL YES ITS THIS PART

IVE SEEN SCREENSHOTS

side note: look at three and zo's knees pressed together gjfngjbhfgbh

HEYYY GUYS

ITS SO FUNNY

WHAT ARE THEY DOING WATCHING SIMM

wait so. bad buddy exists as a series inside the msp universe. simm exists as a series inside the abaab universe. what's next??

the frame changed suddenly, kluen was looking down slightly earlier and now he's looking right in nuea's eyes (yes i had to include jack's hair in the screenshot, so what?)

side note: i love all of jack's ear piercings (and his hair) so much

(ive now used all my 30 photos for this post so you just have to deal with that. on the bright side, the final photo was of jack's beautiful face and beautiful earrings and beautiful HAIR)

i love this friend group so much, theyre all just sitting in a circle in their gaming chairs supporting cher as much as possible in their own little ways and its so sweet and so happy and gfbhbrhgb

ignore your bfs phone calls only to show up at his house with food

AWWW, THE WAY HE JUST PULLS HIM INTO A WORRIED HUG AS SOON AS HIS HANDS ARE EMPTY- I LOVE THEMMMM

"promise me no matter what happens, we will fight it together" RGHBKRDFHGKRBDFHB

AWWWW TEHY KISSSSS

"(talking to himself) if your mum knows about this, she will hit you to death, cher" "know about what?" "she gave me only one heart and i gave it all to you" "youre as cheesy as i am" IM DYING WHAT THE HELL THEYRE SO SWEET

BRO CHILL

CALM DOWN

I DONT NEED TO SEE THIS

I MEAN LIKE GOOD FOR THEM

BUT WHY DO WE NEED SUCH A LONG SHOT OF GUN'S BARE ABS

theyre so soft with each other what the hell

"i just want to hear it from your mouth-" AND CHER CUTS HIM OFF WITH THE SOFTEST KISS EVER??? (well, not ever. no one can ever kiss as softly or lovingly as freaking akk, but that's neither here nor there) THAT ONE TINY MOMENT IS GONNA PLAY IN MY HEAD FOR AGES NOW OMG

keep the pants on please guys

oh thank goodness they finished the episode before it got to that, i appreciate that

anyway THAT WAS SO SWEET GBFHGBFHBHG

im desperately hoping that next episode will be mostly fluffy happiness bc i cant take much more of this seriousness, especially not if my sickness persists (which i really hope it doesnt, id love to be functioning this week)

um yeah. that was that. i hope you enjoyed that? sorry for all my ramblings about being sick, i just really hate being sick.

once again, i hope youre all safe and healthy, if you're not, i hope you can find a safe space and people you trust, please contact someone who can help you if you need it. i love you all, have a great week :]

[mecchimon]

"I dont support it in real life!"

Then why write about it? If for coping purposes, why post it online for others (especially actual predators) to see and consume? Then why portray those things in a positive light instead of condemning them?And you're seriously going to tell me that just because as an adult you want to see a fictional minor (that mind you, is usually designed to resemble an actual child) depicted in sexual situations doesn't mean you don't share that same view concerning children in real life? You find fictional minors attractive but not real ones? Why does the line between finding someone who is (and usually also looks like) a child sexually attractive get drawn at whether the child is real or not? I'm not calling anyone pedophiles, but if the shoe fits... And also no, I am not talking about 18 y/os finding 17 y/os attractive. Use your brain. Creating content of underaged characters is still questionable regardless of age, however.

Wow.

Well hello to you too. Thanks for the ask and I hope you have a great day.

Now, at what point during your scrolling through my blog, filled with Sanrio characters and drawings of adult fictional men. May I repeat, adult fictional men, did you manage to make up this baffling scenario that I somehow condoned pedophilia ? Where in the numerous reblogs of Pompompurin and My Melody did you see me wishing harm and abuse on real life children ? How does one even come close to that scenario ? Why do you guys immediately hear pedophilia when the word proship is involved ? "Minding your own business and not harassing others online regarding their ship" means pedophilia now ? Is this what we're doing ?

Do you know how crazy you sound coming into a complete stranger's asks to make up grave accusations without any proof whatsoever ?

Not even talking about how weird it is to assume that I'm condoning absolutely everything I post online because apparently fiction and reality are absolutely one and the same to you, and I'm not even going to toe that line considering you won't listen at all, why are you making this random assumption that what I'm posting is vent art ? Because I'm not a victim of sexual assault nor have I been assaulted or raped as a child. It's rude to make assumptions.

And who the hell are you to dictate what they should or shouldn't post ? Your own displeasure or ick shouldn't interfere in anyone else's business, what you should consider doing is actively shutting the fuck up and educating yourself properly on what the words that you spout actually mean, because you just sound dumb right now.

And how twisted do you have to be to casually imply that everything I post online enables pedophiles. Do you know how sick you sound right now ? Pedophiles don't give a fuck about me or my art, they just want to exert their power over children and rape them. And you are relishing in the idea that I or someone could be using my work to do that. That's a good thing to you, that a child could be abused right now ? Where you should be horrified and contact CPS or possibly the authorities, you find glee knowing that the person you're interacting with could be a pedophile who wants to sexually assault children or enable this ?

And excuse me, which children are you talking about exactly ? Because all of the characters in THH are confirmed to be 20 years old. Is a 20 years old a child now ?

You know, you should seriously think before finding random strangers online to acuse them of being pedophiles and maybe find real problems. Because by actively watering down serious problems, you're making things worse for children and those who actually care about children ? Ever thought about that ? You're not protecting anyone, you're making things worse.

Don't you have like, anything else to do ? There has to be at least one thing that you like to do instead of being this hateful, so go do that and stop such being a rude shithead online.

And now I'm disabling anon asks before more twats like you swarm in and start saying the vilest stuff because you think that you can do that with no consequences. I didn't put it there so you can say whatever like I'm a fictional character. I'm a real person, you cunt.

Again, I hope you have a lovely day, and go fuck yourself.

[bisolationist]

i really dislike being called a bihet. It mostly comes from gay people and like, yeah they can't oppress us obviously but its just so... mean in nature especially since bi people are always always spending our breath on how were not half gay half straight, how we cant just "pick a side" how were completely whole in our sexuality. calling us "bisexual heterosexuals" just ignores all that. I mean, you guys are seeing us struggle so much with establishing our sexuality to straight people as a whole, right? you do realize why we dont want to be called something that implies were some frankenstein monster combination of two sexualities, right? "its not a slur, bisexuals have power over gays so we cant oppress you" yes youre very right about that but its still an insult to us and i think there are much better labels that arent biphobic in nature that you can use to describe a bisexual whos mostly attracted to the opposite sex/mostly dates the opposite sex. just say "osa leaning" or something like that.

Unfortunately I was on tumblr to witness the rise of it and I KNOW the intent is to not just to be insulting but specifically to deny our oppression at the hands of hets by conflating us with them. The woman that popularized it just SO unhinged about bisexuals.

It's clearly not even about being a het relationship OR osa-leaning or even anything at all to do with us, because right from the very start it was deployed against any and all bisexuals to imply we're basically heterosexual. I've seen it used countless times against bisexuals literally dating or even married to same-sex partners. The only time I've had it aimed at me that I can remember was while I had a boyfriend lol.

It's clearly just "bisexuals I don't like" or "bisexuals whose sexual assault I want to make fun of but I want the moral ground" more than anything. Aside from ironic self-usage, why is it used in insults 90% of the time? Like… I didn't make it through the toppd*ke era to now pretend it's a neutral descriptor.

Honestly this at least is still very online thankfully but it's still annoying and cringe behavior.

[autismnation]

ok so i just watched the movie split. and wow. what a shit show.

like it had a strong start, it seemed pretty interesting. im very glad 2/3 girls werent idiots and actually did what they could to escape. but the other one casey (idk if thats how u spell her name but im spelling it like that) was SO ANNOYING. idk it was probably her trauma or something but why did she literally not do anything??? she was all like “oh its not gonna work” and then as soon as she was on her own she got her ass in gear. what a team player 🙄 /sarc

speaking of her trauma, what even was it? i think she was raped or sexually assaulted by her uncle and then had to live with him after her father died, and she started self harming, i think. i understand that through the flashbacks but what were the other flashbacks even about? i know it was about hunting but considering the fact she didn’t even use the advice her father gave her, what was the point? like you really don’t need to show her love for her father because it’s a fucking given. maybe to show how innocent she was? idk still a given fact. like every child is innocent, most children love their dads. unless you specifically show her dad being an asshole, we’re gonna know she loves him.

on one hand, (i might be reading too deep) but it is very interesting to read this in an abused/abuser way. like the beast in kevin’s body is the abuser and hedwig, patricia and dennis are the abused and cling to the abuser because it makes them feel protected, even though the beast/abuser is doing harm (by fucking eating people). and then ofc casey, despite doing everything to survive when she was kidnapped and also running away from home, still ends up with her abuser (rapist uncle). that’s a cool thing to think about. i wish they went down that road instead of ‘ahhhh people with DID are big scary beasts!!!!’

and also i knew that this movie would not be respectful in any way possible. i didnt even want to watch the movie because i knew it would portray people with DID as monsters (crazy how i was right! /sarc) but my dad forced me to watch it lol. and like not only is it so disrespectful and contributes to the stigma around DID, it was so…lazy. like i thought it would be interesting to have the alters inside kevin fight or whatever (like some alters send the emails) and then at the end, the girls escape and kevin gets help. which i know is too hopeful of an ending. but it’s way better in my opinion from having some weird ass beast. why was it strangely catholic? its like the writers didnt know how to end it and just were like hmmm ok supernatural beast it is. and i spoke to my dad about this and he agreed that the beast thing was too predictable because they spoke about the beast too much. and what even was the beast. it was just the same guy but had like black contacts and prominent veins and blood from his teeth. not scary. i had to try hard not to laugh at some scenes because they were just so ridiculous…

also what was that weird thing where they mentioned dennis was a pedo then just…didnt bring it up again. dont get me wrong i do NOT want a movie about a pedo kidnapper, but this whole movie seems like a mess so i had to comment on how strange this is. like theres a few more details that are just mentioned then left and ignored but this is the one that irks me the most. oh, also the beast only left casey around bc it saw her self harm scars. what if she didn’t have any scars ?? big plot hole or the beast is just supposed to be dumb or something? like its all like “oh yeah everyone has to suffer to be ‘pure’ but if it doesn’t leave scars ur not valid and ill eat u 🤬🤬”

idk weird movie. only good part was hedwig because he’s funny and i feel bad for him. everyone’s acting was super good too. overall i would give it a wtf/10. jk like a 4/10, maybe a 5. also i hope its not just me who thinks this movie is crap. it had potential and it was thrown away.

[beabnormal24]

I think nobody was wxpecting Lando to be rude to Trump for real. Nobody was asking him to sau f u to him. Not even to say negative things about him. I think it was just gutting to hear him say how he was “honored” that trump congratulated him and then went ahead and waxed lyrical about him. I’m a Lando fan and I thought that was such a let down. He could have just stayed neutral about. Using the word “honored” was loaded.

I’m american and i understand that to the world, trump is just this “bad guy.” But it’s more than that. This guy is a literal criminal. He is a rapist. He sexually assaulted women. Not just say things that are sexist or creepy. I mean for real touched women without their consent. This man inspired a literal insurrection on January 6, 2021. Literally. That’s a domestic terrorist attack. It’s not just racist words. It’s literal active racist action that lead to people being actually hurt. Trump is not just some normal bad guy. He’s not just some problematic dude on the internet. This guy is an aggressor. This guy is peak evil.

I’m a Lando fan so pls dont take this as me slandering him. But I’m also part of the community that Trump has hurt/endangered and I think it’s valid that while Im happy to see my driver whom I have been supporting since 2018, I also cannot help but feel like his words on Trump has tainted this beautiful moment. At least for me. Like I cant even properly celebrate because all I can think of is how he felt honored that Trump shook his hands. Sorry if this comes across as aggressive. I swear it is now. Truthfully I’m just sad. And this rant is coming from a real sad place in my heart.

His anon I can totally get it of course, especially if you lived that political situation in the first place, so don’t be worried at all for venting about it.

This blog is a safe space for everyone (except haters).

I’m sorry that what happened made you sad, I guess that what I can say is that I firmly believe You mando didn’t mean anything of it. They’re PR trained to the bone every single weekend so I’m sure they just told him to repeat those things like a broken record and call it a day.

All the drivers that are on the grid look like they could really care less about any political matter, especially when Lando is still a resident in the UK.

So I guess you could try and see it from a “he had no choice but to say that or else he would’ve lost his job” point of view. I hope it will help you see past that ugly bit and look happily at Lando’s win again. 🫶🏻💕

[cocolacola]

Yes, hello i have news

So today i showed my friend hellsing. I love her so much but she is so annoyinh, i ask her "which one would you like to watch, the 2001 version or ultimate?" (Mind you i talked to her about both of them extensively, so its not like she didnt know what was the difference) then she tells me "idk which one would you want me to watch?" and already then im crawling on the ceiling, but i stay calm and ask her "well do you want style or action?" And then she still doesnt give me an answer and then i start the gonzo version bc i think that that is a good starting point bc i saw that before ultimate (i read the manga before it but gonzo left a bigger impression in me amyways) and then she has the nerve to say that its slow and doesnt make any sense and that so much is filler

Bestie YOU let me choose, yes it will not be explained who makes the artificial wampires, but Ultimate doesnt explain it either at the same point in the story and i think its far better to look at in the case of style and mood

Anyway her mom doesnt really want her to watch it bc - prepare yourself - Alucard is Integra's servant. Yeah in the story where vampires kill vampires and lunatic catholic priests are running around with meter long bayonets and killing anyone who he wants (mind you her moms boyfriend is catholic), and THAT is the problem? That Alucard is a servant? That the fucked up anime has fucked up stuff in it when the point is to BE fucked up?

AND, and (and) this is when my friend watches aot which is equally fucked up, if not more

Idk its weird

my full response below the cut!

hey bestie ^o^ well let's see gets out clipboard there's a few different factors to this...

if we're talking about quality, hellsing ultimate all the way. a lot of people like gonzo for nostalgia and characterization reasons but ultimate is simply the better option for a first-time/one-time-watch viewer. i will say though, if they think gonzo is slow then the ultimate finale is likely going to be a total drag.

when it comes to getting into the show in general? it's a slippery slope. hilariously enough, most of my irl hellsing friends (hi guys) found out about it through me and the conversation went a little like:

"please for the love of god dont watch this show guys" "we're gonna watch it anyways" "might as well rewatch it with yall..." "HOLY SHIT WE LOVE IT"

in my (slightly un-knowledgeable) opinion, i think if your friend has watched aot they can handle the themes of hellsing ultimate. however i have been meaning to compile a list of content warnings (mostly for my own rewatches and skipping over scenes that are just. straight up assault) anyway so if you guys need any of that i would be happy to pitch in. unfortunately there's not really a way to cut out-how do i dance around this-the antagonists of the show so if that's going to be an issue i'd say stick to gonzo.

tldr, id say ultimate (unless you need to avoid the factor above), but that's just my humble suggestion and im not gonna hold myself responsible for anything that happens next lmao. thanks for inquiring and i wish you and your friend well :)