#i am 20 years old again
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decoded a stan twins “fun” fact from book of bill below the cut. SPOILERZ
if you assign the bros secret code to a thru z in order (see figure 1):
then you can decode what ford writes in the journal when he’s thinking about calling stanley (see figure 2, already decoded)
this is devastating right? this is bad and evil and makes you want to curl up and weep? because he misses his brother so dearly and it’s really tragic that they’ve been so angry with each other for so long? Well it gets worse
there’s a bit in the end where stanley cussed out bill. i recognized the code and Chat i wanted this word to be fuck so badly you had no idea. i would’ve been happy with a bullshit. but INSTEAD it’s SAD AND DISMAL.
assuming that ! is y (since it’s not legible from the photo) it says LOVE YA BRO. SHUT THE FUCK UP.
this hurts right? this too is bad? because now you’ve let The Implications sink in. because The Implications are that over decades and decades of hating each other and missing each other and Being Complicated both stanley and stanford REMEMBERED the secret code they made together at 12.
and then you go, duh! stanley got his memory wiped. stanford must have RETAUGHT HIM THE BROS SECRET CODE. WHICH IS ALMOST SADDER AND SWEETER.
DUDE. DUDEEEEEE
they are so brothers. this made me really abnormal. if u can’t tell
#idk i really like how the codes can be seen as storytelling devices not just little puzzles! alex hirsh ate once again!!!#the book of bill spoilers#book of bill spoilers#book of bill#the book of bill#gravity falls#shutupmac#stan twins#stanley pines#stanford pines#genuinely have not been sane since this book released#keep having to stop muttering to myself to look up and remember that I am over 20 years old#bros secret code
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Red's clothes are Mud Dogs thing, a Big Mama thing or a Red thing? (like, why does he wear clothes)
Oh it's a Mud Dogs thing, 100% lol
They couldn't let one of their crew walk around with zero drip
Raph is just happy to be twinning even more with his bestest pal
#doesn't help that a ten year old is already almost as tall as him#he fears the day raph grows to his full size#they all do#also i am never drawing detailed sneakers ever again i literally spent 20 minutes trying to draw them#it was absolutely NOT worth it#rottmnt#mutant manhunt au#asks open#my art#rottmnt mud dogs#loathsome leonard
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𝒲+𝒜 (circa 2017)
#The Sims 4#Sims 4#TS4#TS4 Edit#Sims 4 Edit#intramoon#They've been on this blog since#2017#and still haven't done their wedding#one day#although not sure I'll ever story tell again#Found my old folder of the first time I made Wednesday#and omg so fucking scary I'd share but it's so rough lmao#I didn't realize how much of comfort characters#these two are until I worked on this edit#just looking at it brings me so much joy#even if its just me#I thought about starting their story over again#like am I insane#but 20 year old me wasn't the best writer ;-;#I want to do it justice
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oh yay
just found a Noah hate post
I felt angry enough to screenshot it so enjoy losing faith in humanity ig (btw just to clarify I’m okay with ppl disagreeing with Noah’s beliefs but wishing on his death and sending threats to him is more than crossing a line,it’s so horrible and disgusting especially the homophobic and sa threats he gets)
(btw that’s my comment at the top defending him bc I got a little annoyed but yeah,this really annoyed me like where did ppls common sense and basic human empathy go???)
#noah schnapp#losing faith in humanity#why are we bringing his political beliefs into this now😭#I feel so bad for him#I hate that I have to share air with the same ppl who are saying they wish death or worse on a 19-20 year old#Even if it is a joke (which it’s doesn’t seem like it is) it’s crossing a line SENDING him threats not js joking about it in comments#Which once again I don’t think these are jokes but oh well ig I have faith in them#I’m guilty for saying I’ll kill the duffers but that’s obviously a joke this just seems like it’s not 😭😭#I never intended to become a Noah défense blog but here I am😭
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Thought too long about Hermoine daughter of Meneleus and Helen and got sad
#wren rambles#greek mythology#the iliad#the odyssey#i am actually not 100% sure what stories shes in#but i got interested at her mention in the odyssey and then read her wiki page#girl lost BOTH her parents for 17 years when she was 9#grew up probably raised mostly by Clyemnestra which. no one wants.#her parents finally came back from troy and their re-honeymoon in africa#and three years later shes send off to marry Neoptolemus#an agrragement her father made during the trojan war#(now marriage customs were different ans this arragement would have been normal.#and she doesnt seem to hate the idea [though her opinion isnt mentioned] so it could just be a normal marriage agreement#however it IS Neoptolemus. who is often portrayed as brutal and violent.#tho idk what hes like outside of war. anyway. happiness of the marruage aside#its probably a shock to be Nine Years Old and then when youre solidly in your 20s your dad comes back abd is like MARRIAGE TIME)#and THEN Orestes and Neoptolemus fight over her and she marries Orestes (her cousin. but again. ancient greece)#just. most of that generation of kids lost only their father#some perminantly#telemachus for 20 years#most for at least ten years#but Heromine lost BOTH her parents#lost the relationship with her MOTHER which the vibe i get was SUPER valuble#(if Demeter's attitude is anything to go by and the cultural vibe of mother-daughter relationship)#helen even did cite that she was a foolish creature for leaving her husband and beloved daughter#ALSO Hermione not having any full siblings means something to me#idk just. Helen's only daughter. left behind.#Helen's only CHILD left behind
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Finally finished ff9, just in time to cry myself to sleep because VIVIIIIII OH MY GODDD MY SON, MY EVERYTHING........ NOOOO
#ITS ALMOST 3 AM#he came to terms with his mortality BUT NOT ME!!! IM SAD!!!!#i didnt clock what had happened until like halfway into his monologue and omg the way i just BAWLED#he didnt get to see zidane again im devastatedd#zidane and garnet are adorable tho.... i love them so much.... i was so happy for them#but my son..................#do i spoiler tag a game thats over 20 years old?#ff9 spoilers#final fantasy ix
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blade
i kept thinking that the effect they used in tachibanas initial arc when where he goes green and explodes was a little funny in hindsight because kenzaki does it once and he did go green in the end (the explosions have come and gone given the genre) but thinking about it again it is fun how tachibanas initial arc sorta foreshadows what happens to kenzaki in the end, with the repeated use of the king form causing irreparable change to his body. and then turning green. not exploding but i guess sacrificing your whole existing life is a kind of death if you wanna get poetic about it
#am i watching my ondol playlist again instead of doing anything productive. Of course#post tag#blade#blade spoilers#this is all obvious but its difficult to have a new take on a 20 year old show#its just fun to talk about things as you realise them#gg4gg
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#art#traditional art#watercolour#fanart#virvox project#shirakami kotarou#kurono takehiro#vocal synth#voicevox#another one based off the memories of some post i saw a while back. i was like possessed. to redraw vsynth characters in popular posts#also low key this was what it was like being 22 in university classes full of 18-19 year olds for a bit there LHJSKHJFSDAjdfs#THEY WERE nicer about it. but sometimes they would find out my age and i could see the 'grown ass' flicker across their eyes#especially when they topic of discussion was shit like sororities and me not knowing shit about it. in my defence i was 1) confused about#'greek life' for a while because i am mixed race and kind of ambiguous irl so i just assumed it was a like a cultural based society thing#(we have a lot of those in my school its very multicultural) and they made an incorrect guess about my ethnicity again and 2) when I DID#finally figure out what the hell 'greek life' was supposed to be i signed up cause a friend asked me to but i missed the first day of#orientation cause i was sick and then the sororities started sending really passive agressive emails to me so i got scared off LOL#random sorority sidetrack aside. it was really funny when i was like yeah i dont really understand the whole deal#and a classmate was like oh well yeah i guess you wouldnt have the experience how old are you again like 18?#and i was like........................................................i turned 23 a month ago <:3c#and her face journey as she realized i was like 3-4 years older than her.... my apologies my dearest classmate#sowwy for being in my early 20s. it wont happen again <3
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something something the gang continues fighting supernatrual problems within the town, even going to universitys near each other/ the same one so they can continue working as a group since it's fun. Eventually they face another creature that causes them to experience their greatest fears and Ethan is forced to fortell the future over and over and watch as none of his friends ever belive him. He realises that his greatest fear has evolved from being alone, to being with people but never heard, because isn't that worse? to be seen but to never be listened to?
Anyway they deal with the super natrual creature and alls okay and they start beliving Ethan again but it still FUCKS with him.
ps if you see how I just wrote ethan into casandras position (without the "no Apollo I do not want to have sex with you omg" moment), shhh no you didn't.
#mbav#my babysitters a vampire#ethan morgan#I always like thinking about how the season 1/2 tropes would be reflected later in their lives#like I think Benny's fear later would be a fear that he's depended upon ONLY for his magic and not for himself#or that Erica will become afraid of returning to humanity NOT because she prefers being a vampire/ thinks its superier#but because she's scared she won't be able to help her friends as much and also afraif to return to what she wants was#because she never experienced humanity at it's best only ever as a 'nerdy girl' in highschool which cannot have been a great experience#how are you meant to act as a human 20 year old when you only experienced life up untill 16?#what the fuck am I on about again
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I just looked at the price on the back of a book I’ve had for a bit over a decade and it was four. fucking. dollars. Just four with no taxes. No extra 97cents or something before taxes. Just a round number that you would add taxes to.
I googled the price of a new edition and it was almost thirteen! Not an even thirteen, it was like 12.96 or something. Close enough that it’s basically thirteen but if you’re adding multiple items together to try and get the price on a purchase with more items it would add more confusion.
#emma posts#it was also a bit difficult to find a new copy on my phone#the edition I have was selling for wildly varying prices as a vintage book now#but that’s just a kids chapter book from a fairly large publisher#I know inflation happens and stuff but holy shit#buying things at the book fair makes so much more sense now#I bought that for 4$ plus taxes at the schoolastic book fair#it was maybe 12 years ago?#I could look at the publishing date for a better idea#the series had just switched publishers and the first few were being re-released at the time#before the new publisher and the author finished the series#four dollars though#I had to check the book because I know the current price of many paperbacks and I knew that series was still in print#but what lead to this was the price tag falling off an old brush I found from like. 2009 or 2010#and the tag on this very large brush was seven dollars#which seemed cheap so I looked at current brush prices online but since the exact same brush isn’t being sold and brush prices vary more#it was a bit harder for me to get an idea of it. books though. books I know#I’ve even bought stuff from that publisher recently (they have a lot of novel and comic translations)#but it also struck me how the old price tag was an even four and an even seven dollars but all new ones had 97 or 98 cents#that ten dollars from helping out grandma wouldn’t have even gotten me one book with modern prices#but back then I could get TWO#even just seven could have gotten me a book and some fun school supplies back then#to have that experience now you would need to give your kid a 20$#I understand inflation okay? I am just taken off guard rn and having realizations#I’m going to add to this post again. when I say wildly varied vintage prices I mean WILDLY varied#one dude was trying to sell it on Amazon for 55$ but on eBay it was 4 to 5$#I bought the next three books in the series from that same print. signed. for 13$ together#I had older editions of those and wanted a full series of just the ones that were being re-released during my reading time
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I would say I have no explanation for this, but uh. I really do. Behold: the first ideas for a Terror IndyCar AU that has possessed me for the last 36 straight hours. It would not leave me alone until I put some of it to paper.
Behold: Crozier as an established, relatively liked, if cynical, driver, upstart rookie James Fitzjames, and Hickey, who is, as always, totally normal and not causing problems.
The art is rushed, but I needed to purge the demons as fast as I could
#i have never drawn hickey before. its not good but I'm tired.#as always my sketches look better than the final. it's fine. im not annoyed. not at all.#anyway. today? an AU nobody hut me ever asked for and debatably nobody else wants. tomorrow? the same.#thought i was clever for making Hickey's sponsor be a vodka company after Crozier gets sober#could Not come up with a suitable sponsor for JFJ. too tired.#in my head silna is a very competent canadian driver on crozier and jfj's team#goodsir is on the pit crew for silna most of the time. stanley is the lead mechanic#runs their shop like it's the goddamn navy and nobody ever knows if he's happy with things.#blanky is either a manager or the guy to talks to drivers on team radio during races#anyway if i ever do anything like this i plan to have crozier ultimately win a 4th 500#but only after james has a horrible crash that ends his season and many press people think will end his career#just so he can kiss francis at victory circle#look. i have very little to say for myself aside from the fact that i have been going to the indy 500 since i was 7 years old.#almost 20 years ago#and the IMS and indycar is very important to me. one of the few sports i care about and want to follow more.#so. uh. yeah. watch this space bc it will probably keep bothering me bc I Need It.#(also very silly but i tried to make crozier and james's drivers suits have shoulder shapes like epaulettes. i thought that was fun)#again sorry for the quality but i drew all of this in like 4 hours today. i am a woman Possessed.#anyway im gonna crawl back into my cringe hole. see y'all#the terror
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#suggesting that teams cut vets for the “growth of the game” as a “business decision” to make way for college kids with millions of followers#is CERTIFIABLE#that is one of the most batshit takes i have ever heard in my entire life#to say that no one tunes in for them [and then specifically calling out dt and bg] is so beyond fucked up#“because the young kids are just as good” is literally false#most rookies don't make the cut because people already on the teams are better than them#saying you'd rather make the product worse for the sake of dollars and eyeballs is crazy#saying that the olds should just r*tire and go away and get desk positions in the league because they aren't popular anymore#again is so beyond fucked up. like who do you think kept the league around for 20 years?#it sure as fuck wasn't c****** C****#and coincidentally just now when they're finally making money when they are finally on the verge of a decent cba you want them out#not because they can't play at that level but because YOU think other people will bring more eyes is SO DISTASTEFUL#ur account isn't even big enough to justify the kind of rage bait that this is#it is so disrespectful to everyone who made the game the way it is#and if you don't think dt and bg individually and together aren't entertaining to watch they you've never watched the mercury#who do you think changed the way the women's game was played?#this “take” is so dismissive and ageist#and even if you didn't namedrop them it's hard for this not to feel pointed#i'm going to need to do a word search after this#if you've seen the video i speak of i am so sorry you had to endure that#i should have stopped watching after like 10 seconds
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If you are worried that you don't know what God wants you to do-- its very simple. He wants us to obey the Law of Christ, that is love God and love neighbor, following the Scriptures and living them out.
As for what to do with your life? That's been something I myself have been struggling with for a while so really it comes down to what you are good at and where you find called to do. Me? I want to make stories and illustrations that inspire others and glorify God-- the rubber meets the road in me actually work on it.
They become my works and works can be anything -- from doing the dishes because your folks asked you too or being the best employee for your employer. We do good works not for God but neighbor - genuine good works helps others. Though remembering this for myself is kinda difficult since it took a while for me to remember God will never leave me and forsake me.
#I've only been a Christian for 3-4ish years? and you'd think i'd give myself a little slack#but no#I'm way too hard on myself and expect to have the experience of 20 year old Christian when I'm still baby#uuuuugh#I thank God at Work by Gene Edward Veith Jr for correcting my view on vocation and good works#but again I forgor and keep saying 'oh I need to do more to prove I am a legit Christian and not a sham'#christianity#magi musings#god is good
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i seriously need to get a new job and start making money again asap bc i cannot keep living at home much longer it’s driving me insane
(wrote an entire essay in the tags without meaning to oops)
#i feel so isolated from everything bc i’m not in school rn but all my friends are and 90% of the ones who are in state go to the same school#so they’re all in the same town and here i am 45 minutes away#i never get invited to anything bc 1) my friends all tend to make plans really last minute#and 2) if we want to go out and drink - which we usually do bc that’s the stage of life we’re in rn - i’d have to stay the night with#someone bc i absolutely cannot afford a 45 minute uber home and most of my friends don’t like staying over / having people stay over#so i have basically no social life and it’s only gotten worse in the past couple months since i got laid off from my main job#not only did i love that job but i loved my coworkers and work was pretty much the only time i left the house and interacted with people#and without that job i can’t even do the little solo things i used to do to cheer myself up like go see a movie#or even just go for a long drive bc i’m broke (as in i have $17 in cash to my name and am like $1000 in debt rn)#so all i do is rot in bed all day and apply for jobs that i’m overqualified for yet still don’t get hired#i barely even leave my room bc i avoid my family which just makes me feel guilty bc i love my family#but they get on my nerves so easily and most of the conversations i have with my mom end in her lecturing me about something and me crying#and on top of everything it’s just straight up embarrassing to be unemployed and completely directionless about college and living at home#logically i know i’m still very young and it’s common to live at home when you’re 20 but literally none of my friends do#i had a couple friends who lived at home for the first 2 years after high school and went to community college but by now they’ve moved out#and they’re all at universities and either graduating this year or next year meanwhile the earliest i could possibly graduate is in 2 years#i should be finishing my junior year rn but i’ve only completed my freshman year#i hated the school i was at and planned on transferring sophomore year but long story short that didn’t work out#even longer story short i ended up doing a semester each at 2 different community colleges and failed all my classes both times#and took 2 semesters off so now i’m a full 2 years behind and even though my freshman year was miserable#i’m starting to wish i stayed at that school anyway bc at least i would be at a university and accomplishing something#plus theres a huge difference between staying at home for a couple years after high school then moving out later#vs living on your own right away then having to move back home after you’ve already experienced having your own space#and on top of everything i have an older sister who’s a literal genius and graduated last year#and a younger sister who just finished her freshman year at the school i hated but she loves it and got perfect grades and made friends#so they’re both thriving and here i am living with my mom and my 13 year old brother and just completely failing at everything#i’m just so miserable and obviously moving out again and going back to school wouldn’t magically fix everything#but at least i would feel like my life was going somewhere and i wasn’t getting left behind by everyone i know#i just have no idea how to move forward and i feel like ever since high school not a single thing has gone the way i wanted it to#vent
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i think too many people overestimate how much people in their 20s/30s can pass as teens because it is always no matter what extremely obvious in shows when the character who is like 17 is played by a 23 year old
#like i think it’s funny ngl#but at the same time i am like ‘perhaps it’s easier to just make them older’#like i feel as though a lot of it can still make sense if they are in their 20s/30s#yes 18 and 19 are older and can pass for older as well#but like also i can tell if it’s a 27 year old#like yeah teens and people in their 20s esp can maybe look similar in age but also once again#it’s very easy to spot when a person is ten years older than the age they are suppose to be playing#bluebell talks
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okay i really AM working on the path to paradise. if all goes according to plan i'll have chapter 15 this weekend AHHHHHH
#oh man i feel so bad#it doesn't help that i've been 'trying' to start writing it again the past two days and i'm getting stuck on the first few paragraphs#my new job transition has been....... interesting#palliative medicine is.... a completely different beast#in the sense that like. you have so much time to talk to patients. to try to help them feel better.#we're doing formal communication training. roleplaying. consistent and reasonable hours#its hard to step back and slow down after spending the last 3 years in critical care#but this is... nice. important. i think its gonna be good.#also! i really AM going to comic con!!!!!!#i can't believe i've lived in sd for 6 years and never got to go#obviously i scalped the tickets and WAY overpaid for them#but tbh its kinda a bucket-list once-in-a-lifetime thing for me#i can imagine its going to be EXTREMELY overwhelming#but i am excited about it. truly.#ANYWAY. i also played all of persona 3 reload and persona 4 golden#predictably kanji is my favorite from p4. obviously naoto too.#p3? hard to say. koromaru definitely.#i have a soft spot for aigis and shinjiro also#a bit dissapointed that you couldn't play female protag like how are they going to resell a nearly 20 year old game without including that.#and that project aigis wasn't included. i mean i'm gonna buy it but i'm not gonna be happy about it#...anyway. love you guys. sorry i've been not good at writing BUT NEVER GIVE UP ON MEEEEE
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