#i am 1000% psyched
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Omg Hades II is available for early access this is not a drill
*yells*
#the original hades is a lot like fable ii for me#in that it's an important game for me emotionally#i am 1000% psyched#lbd speaks
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
anyways sry its not srs eventually ill get it together . and be a person again. one day
#its just like atm everything that i need is like . not possible. which is oartially my brain being like We have to do this before we this#which sometimes isnt true but sometimes is#like i cant get medicated again or back seeing a psych or back on t until i get a job again#but i cant get a job again utnil i get my ged <- partially untrue but ged would make it a lot easier#but i cant get my ged until i have a job bc it costs money <- if i asked my parents they would probably help me If they had money 2 spare#since like. yk. they want ne to be able to work again so i have money again and ill be another source of income and they care abt me also .#affirmations . ppl donot just see me as a piggy bank they do see me as a person im not judt someone to squeeze money out of thats not how#ppl view me and its fine its fine its fine its fine . it feels so stupid being scared abt that i feel like a rich person whos like She only#likes me for my money 😭 like stfuuu annoying ass. i just ummmm. have a massive fear of debt and like. ppl demanding money from me#unexpectedly or expecting i am going to give them money. not in like a Ohhh fucking ppl want me to donate not it at all im happy to donate#but in like. god this is dumb. eveeytime i got birthday or christmas money as a kid i had to give it to my parents so they could buy food or#gas or whatever. and it never got paid bsck and it felt like shit. but i couldnt ever say no bc then itd be My fault we didnt have food that#week . yk. my first paycheck i had to give it all to my mom for groceries and we got in a fight in the store bc she was like Ok im gonna go#buy pop and my dumbass got upset abt it bc like. my mom told me itd be Necessities nd like. yk. wtvr. it was fucking stupid my entire family#r caffeine addicts so pop is a necessity i was just. rly upset and it felt like my parents saw my money as just. theirs but they had to ask#abt it so i wouldnt get pissy. yk. and they ask me for money a lot usually for food and i dont mind but it like. idk im rly paranoid abt#being a provider and ive got a Lot of guilt abt like. anytime we dont have enough food it feels like my fault bc it was my fault when i wasa#kid if i didnt give up my christmas money for pizza. or whatever. idk its so dramatic like i didnt need the money i was 8 it was selfish of#me to wanna buy fucking. toys or whatever that wasnt more important than My parents being able to get to work or my siblings being able to#fucking. literally eat. or paying bills. like its selfish that im like wahhh wahhh but i wanted to buy vibeo game wif my bday money i#shouldve judt been fucking grateful i was able to help my family. wtvr. I hate connor. wtvr#n then the shit with ugh last year like. yk. and stuff. and then the them stealing 1000 from me not getting into it b4 i get mad. idk.#and im just lazy now i need to get a job again but all the shit like. as i was saying earlier b4 i started whining. idk. i should be happy#that i get to help w bills and stuff that was my dream as a kid#like ever since i was 5 when i was fantasizing abt my future i was like Im gonna marry a prince and then ill be able to afford to pay all of#my families bills and my parents and siblings will be able to go to college and be happy and maybe never have to work bc ill be able to#handle it and ive always like. yk. when i was a dumbass kid i was like Ill go to college so i can get a good job and be useful. of course i#cant ever go to college bc im fucking. useless. and itd just be another burden on my family if i was in debt bc i couldnt help them as much#if i had debt and itd be selfish. and it doesnt matter bc im too stupid to go to college anyway. idk. i wish i could just fix everything#it just feels awful rn im literally just a drain and my family doesnt say it to me yk like. ik theyre happy imback i think they are
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
a real phone call i made to my dad last night: hi i’m home now but i wanted to talk to you but you’re not home but i wanted to talk to you bc while i was driving i was spirited away by the fairies a now i’m not sure if this is the real you or if you’re the fake fairy duplicate you and i think if it was fairy you i wouldn’t be able to tell bc you could lie to me over the phone
#in case ur curious yes i am like this irl#part 2#for context#i had spent literally all day shopping and was so fucking exhausted#and on the way back the classical music station was playing something that 1000% sounded like i was being spirited away#so i changed the station#but when i was turning onto my house’s street i was flipping through stations and the classical station came back on#and it was playing something that was very. and now the fairies have returned you#but then i could not get the garage open and i started joking that we were at the wrong house#and it still wouldn’t open so we were like WERE AT THE WRONG HOUSE#THIS IS OUR HOUSE THO??? i’ve seen it before. this is our house#(we as in me and my brother btw)#anyway so i wasn’t convinced that this was my real home and not a fairy duplicate and i wanted to check with my dad BUT HE WASNT HOME#did not know how long he would be gone so i called him bc it was urgent (obviously)#but like? a fairy duplicate of my dad could easily lie over the phone???#anyway my dad took half a beat and was like ‘okay just wait a couple minutes’#he had literally just pulled up outside#anyway.#@anyone with a psych degree: any guesses abt what’s wrong w me?
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
btw i have a timelapse comin along for that sanji painting i just have no idea how tiktok/youtube shorts or adding music 2 videos works
#not to mention there's my intense fear of putting my work/myself out there on social media to contend with#let alone actual social spaces#mind you it HAS been getting better w yknow. self-imposed exposure therapy and the like. slowly but surely i will drag myself out of this#but i am rly rly bewildered + grateful for the love this painting has received from everyone who's interacted w it. ngl im a bit stunned by#how much more openly loving tumblr is compared to twitter#i feel like that pic of that little cat being pet by like 20 people at once i keep rereading the tags and getting rly giddy about it#the 1000 or so sanjifuckers whove been leaving feral tags on my painting cannot conceptualize the impact they've had on my psyche (lovingly#thanks guys. truly <3#anyways sry for the long rant expect that timelapse by at least the end of the week (god willing)#my computer screamed at me so hard for recording it so it deserves to actually get posted instead of just rotting in my files lol#idk whether yt shorts or tiktok is the best option for it but that's a question for tomorrow me
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
college really ain’t built for the neurodivergent
#what the fuck am i supposed to do when my prof asks for documentation to grant me an extension?#bro do you want a copy of the journal entry that almost devolved into a suicide note?#do you want a picture of my mood stabilizer prescription that is not fucking working?#all my therapist can do is write a statement that i’m engaged in counseling services#i guess i can go to the fucking hospital and get a $1000 psych eval?????????#i’ll send you the fucking invoice
1 note
·
View note
Text
his babygirl swagger has me captivated mind body and soul
just started watching psych, and this strange sad man has me absolutely captivated
#psych#psych (2006)#detective Lassiter#lassie#(lying thru my teeth) i am 1000% absolutely normal about this man#just finished the psych finale and the scene where he’s watching shawn’s confession video breaks me#obviously he knew shawn was bullshitting the psychic thing but he couldn’t bear to hear shawn admit that himself#ofc shawn could be annoying as fuck but that didn’t stop him from being a good detective
661 notes
·
View notes
Note
Reader walks through fire to save Emily Prentiss. That's it, that's the prompt. You can decide what you do with it. Thank you 💖
Authors note: Somehow lately I've had a thing for long oneshots that go well over the actual 1000 words. I just can't stop writing once I start haha. I wish you a nice start to the week ♥
⚠️Trigger Warning⚠️ This one-shot includes the slight mention of burn injuries and fainting. The plots are presented. If this triggers you too easily or you just can´t handle the subject, I urge you NOT to read this work. I am NOT embellishing this topic under any circumstance. Read at your own risk.
ᕚ---ᕘ
As Special Agent Emily Prentiss and you brought your car to a stop on a remote forest path, the dense treetops reached high into the sky, forming an impenetrable canopy of leaves that barely let in the light of the sun. It seemed as if nature itself wanted to keep a secret as a cold wind blew through the branches, carrying with it the whispers of the leaves.
A brief exchange of glances between Emily and you revealed the determination burning within you as you checked your gear and got your vests ready. As a well-rehearsed duo in the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit, you were familiar with the darkest depths of the human psyche and had faced the most dangerous criminals. But even for you, this case was of unusual intensity.
A series of brutal murders had terrified residents living on the edge of the Arkansas grove. The victims appeared to be chosen at random, and every lead the team found at the crime scene led to a dead end. But now a clue had led you here, to this dark place that was far from any civilization.
Together you made your way down the rocky and arduous path deeper into the forest, the cracking of twigs under your boots and the occasional call of a bird accompanied you like a dark melody. Imbued in your minds was the determination to solve this mystery and put an end to the evil that threatened the innocent inhabitants of this remote area.
Eventually you came to a small clearing dominated by a dilapidated log cabin. The centuries-old wooden walls were overgrown with moss and ivy, which covered the abandoned building like a veil. The windows stood empty and dark, like the eyes of a ghost from a bygone era, silently bearing witness to long-forgotten stories.
Emily sensed an eerie presence that seemed to emanate from the place, as if the walls themselves spoke of the horrors they had experienced. But she forced herself to suppress her fear and focused her gaze on the task before you both. Despite the ominous feeling that surrounded the place, your resolve remained unbroken as you prepared to explore the secrets of this mysterious place.
“Ah, here we are,” you whispered quietly to her as you crouched and crept up to the entrance, gun drawn. "Let's see what we can find and finally close the case."
You entered the abandoned building together, your flashlights cutting through the darkness and illuminating the path before you. A hint of decay hung heavy in the air as the old parquet floors crunched beneath your feet as if revealing the secrets of the building beneath you. But your resolve was still unshakable, and you searched every room with meticulous care, looking for clues that could solve the mystery.
As you began to move further into the next room, Emily paused in her position in the largest room and raised a hand to silence you before you could even begin to speak. You listened intently, and a quiet but distinct sound reached your ears - a gentle breeze that seemed to whisper through the gaps between the door and the frame.
“Over there,” Emily whispered as you returned to her, pointing to a locked door at the end of the hallway. The two of you approached the door slowly, your hearts pounding loudly in your ears as if anticipating the rhythm of the horror to come. With a quick nod, you released the lock on the door and entered the room first.
What unfolded before you chilled your blood. In the middle of the room sat an altar made of weathered stone, surrounded by extinguished candles and mysterious symbols that formed a dark coven around it. On the walls hung grotesque paintings of dark figures whose eyes seemed to pierce you, as if they wanted to explore your soul.
But the horror reached its climax with the sight of the body lying on the altar - a young girl, bound and mutilated, her face contorted in pain while an iron stake protruded from her chest, her breathing long stopped. The sight of her echoed in your mind, a cruel testament to the evil that permeated the place.
"What have we gotten ourselves into?" you asked, an ice-cold shiver running down your spine as the ominous scene before you slowly took shape. Emily shrugged, her gaze caught by the gloomy atmosphere as she swallowed hard to maintain her composure. "We have to get out of here and call for backup," she said firmly, but the undertone betrayed the growing concern that threatened to overwhelm her too. She signaled for you to back off as she took a few steps back to give you cover. "This is bigger than we thought."
You nodded in agreement, but before you could take a step, another sound echoed across the ceiling - a soft rustling, followed by an ominous hissing that seemed to be emanating from a hidden pipe, accompanied by the pungent smell of smoke coming from beneath the door.
Panic rose within you as you realized that you possibly were in danger and that the rest of the team might be taking too long to reach you. You were trapped, surrounded by the dark remnants of a ritual space that seemed to harbor evil and now encircled you menacingly.
As you walked up the short steps and opened the door to leave the basement, and hastily return to your vehicle to call for backup, the blockhouse was engulfed in thick smoke.
Emily felt the heat rising on her skin and the acrid smoke entering her lungs as she coughed and pressed her sweater under her nose to escape the choking smoke. "We have to get out of here!" she shouted over the infernal crackling of the fire, which threatened to spread greedily, as if it was hungry for more fuel.
You nodded in agreement and reached for her hand, and together you fought your way through the impenetrable fog, your eyes burning with tears as you searched for a way out of this nightmare. But the fire, which had spread for reasons still unknown, seemed to cut off your path, your every movement blocked by a wall of heat that threatened you and that blocked your view. You didn't know where the exit was. Every step you took brought you closer to the certainty that you were surrounded by the merciless forces of destruction that were driving you closer to the abyss with every second.
Fear gripped both of you tightly as you looked around and realized the terrible reality. The flames around you burned higher and higher, their glowing tongues lashing out greedily at everything in their path, spreading an atmosphere of desperation and chaos.
And as you progressed on your way, you suddeny saw the outline of a dark figure. You strained to sharpen your focus, to heighten your senses in this inferno. "The perpetrator! He's here!" You shouted out to Emily, your voice filled with determination as you moved resolutely towards the unknown, clutching your gun tightly, the desire for justice burning in your heart.
But in the rush of the moment, you didn't notice that Emily wasn't following you, her own thoughts torn apart by the urgency of the situation. Her eyes searched desperately for a way out of this blazing hellfire as she fought within herself against the panic that threatened to overwhelm her.
But as you got closer, you realized with horror that it wasn't the murderer, but just a shadow dancing in the pale light of the flames. A moment of relief quickly gave way to anxiety as you realized that the perpetrator was still lurking somewhere in the dark corners while you had lost sight of him. And now you were separated from Emily, your ally, your anchor in this burning hell.
Emily called out to you, but her voice was swallowed up by the angry crackling of the flames that raged around her like a wild animal. Her heart began to race involuntarily as she looked around and realized the cruel reality - she was completely alone, surrounded by the surging waves of fire that threatened to consume her and destroy her existence.
With her back pressed against the wall, she pressed her flashlight hard into the fog that permeated the room, hoping that the beam of light would attract you and lead you back to her. “Y/n, I’m here!” she cried desperately, her voice laced with the pain of isolation. "I'm trapped in the flames. Follow the light, please!" Her words echoed through the burning room, a silent cry for help amid the raging inferno.
Less than a minute later she heard a faint sound rising above the roar of the fire - the sound of a figure, a jacket over your head, fighting through the flames to get to her.
Emily turned to the side and watched in horror as you emerged from the blazing inferno, your face contorted with pain, your clothes scorched by them, and your skin marked by the cruel scars of the fire. “Oh my god, y/n!” she shouted, her voice filled with fear as you fell the last few inches towards her, her eyes wide in terror. "What have you done?"
You couldn't speak a word; the pain unbearable, your voice paralyzed by the torment of the fire. Your only job was to get your partner safely out of this burning house, so you placed a wet blanket over her head and body before carefully guiding her out of the flames, yourself also hidden under the blanket to protect yourself from further burns.
Her hand gripped yours tightly as she pulled you closer to her, feeling the pain and heat of your skin. "Y/n, you are seriously injured. Let me guide you," she whispered softly as she placed your arm over her shoulder, but the adrenaline rushed through your body, your mind numb from the agony that was coursing through you, her words unheard.
You struggled through the flames, your senses numbed by the unrelenting burn that accompanied you as you leaned heavily on Emily. Every step was agony, every breath a fight against the heat and smoke that threatened to suffocate your lungs. But despite the darkness of the inferno, you did not give up, but continued to fight, driven by the irrepressible will to bring Emily and yourself to safety, out of this hellfire.
As you finally made it out into the open and made your way to safety, a deafening bang ripped through the air, followed by a blinding flash of light that pierced the dark clouds of smoke and bathed the night in blinding daylight. Emily and you were thrown to the ground by the force of the explosion, the impact shattering your bodies as chaos erupted around you.
Fire shot out of the windows of the log cabin and quickly spread to the surrounding trees, the forest itself was going up in flames. The air was filled with an infernal crackling and hissing that shook the ground. The forest immediately became a burning fortress, enveloped in an impenetrable veil of flames that seemed to block any possibility of escape. "Y/n, get up," Emily urged, her voice firm and determined as she leaned towards you, "We have to get out of here. I'm going to take you to the hospital to get you looked after." Her words pierced the chaotic scene, a promise of rescue and hope amid the tumult of flames.
She shook your motionless body, but you didn't move. The adrenaline that had once fueled your senses was gone, and now your body was collapsing like a house of cards blown away by a merciless breeze. Emily gently turned your lifeless body onto its back, an act of tenderness in the midst of chaos that reflected your sacrifice and bravery - you had gone through hell to save her.
Half your body was scorched by the flames, your skin scarred by the fire, and your breathing was shallow and uneven, a faint sign of your struggle to survive.
Emily fought the panic that overcame her when she saw your badly injured body. "Stay with me, y/n," she whispered, her voice cracking with fear as the flames around her licked at the trees and ate through the undergrowth, a warning sign of destruction. "You can do this, you hear me? You have to do this. Please, y/n."
But you didn't move, unconscious and silent as death itself. Emily felt the tears burning in her eyes, but she forced herself to stay strong so as not to give up on you. Her hands rested gently on your bruised skin, a silent vow of loyalty and hope amidst the flames.
Emily pulled her cell phone out of her pocket, her fingers shaking with tension as she dialed the number for her boss, Aaron Hotchner. She raised the phone to her ear, hoping for a connection as the chaos raged around her, the flames spreading unstoppably.
"Hotch, we need help urgently," she said, her voice firm and controlled even as fear burned in her heart. "Y/n is seriously injured, we need firefighters and paramedics here. The whole forest is burning down. Now!"
He reassured her that help and the team was on the way, and Emily put the phone away, her thoughts entirely on you, still lying motionless in front of her. "Please, y/n. Wake up," she pleaded, running her hand gently over your burned neck, as if she could call life back into you through the touch. "You have to fight, you hear me? You can't give up."
The minutes passed like hours as Emily waited, her eyes fixed on you, counting every breath, watching every movement of your body as she evaluated your vitals every second. But nothing changed, you remained motionless, your face expressionless like a mask of ash, and your thoughts swirled in a whirlpool of fear and hope.
Finally, the sound of engines pierced the oppressive silence as firefighters burst through the flames and rushed to your rescue. She was accompanied by the paramedics who immediately lifted you onto a stretcher and took you into the ambulance while she followed you with a worried look, closely watching the rescuers' every move.
The ambulance raced through the mountainous streets, sirens blaring across the countryside, as Emily sat next to you, holding your hand tightly amidst the furious roar of the sirens and the rattling engine.
ᕚ---ᕘ
The bright morning light filtered gently through the hospital room window as you slowly came to consciousness. Every breath was accompanied by pain, every muscle in your body felt like it was filled with lead. A silent struggle against the stabbing pain shot through you as you tried to move, only to be thrown back into the soft hospital bed by a painful retreat.
Emily sat by your bed, her eyes full of concern, her hand gently stroking your fingers as if she was trying to ease your pain with her touch. Noticing you had awakened, a soft smile broke across her lips as she reached for your hand that wasn't injured. “Welcome back, y/n,” she whispered quietly, her voice warm and sensitive. "How do you feel?"
You tried to speak, but your voice was only a hoarse whisper, choked by the pain of your injuries, and you coughed painfully. Emily handed you a glass of water and gently held it to your lips, helping you take a slow sip before continuing. "It's okay, speak slowly," she encouraged patiently. "You've had a tough time, but we're here to support you." Her words were a promise of care and hope in the midst of the darkness you had lived through.
You nodded slowly, your mind raging like wild whirlwinds, flooding with memories of the past mission - the fire, the flames, the heat that had penetrated your skin. And then there was Emily, strong and unwavering, standing next to you and holding you as your body slowly gave out and you tried desperately to get her out of harm's way.
“I remember,” you finally whispered, your eyes cloudy with pain as you tried to form the words through the thick fog of memories. A faint hint of understanding crossed Emily's face as she heard your words, her eyes full of empathy and compassion.
"You literally walked through fire to save me," she spoke quietly, her voice laced with a hint of awe as tears pooled in her eyes, glittering like diamonds in the light.
A faint smile crossed your lips, trembling with exertion, as you slowly raised your hand and placed it gently on her cheek, your touch a delicate promise of love and devotion. “You were inside,” you murmured quietly, your voice a whisper in the quiet of the hospital room. "No fire in the world would stop me from saving you. I can't lose you." The words were a confession that reached deeper than words could, a promise that was anchored in the infinite expanses of your connection.
Emily reached for your hand, her touch as delicate as a gentle breath as she leaned against you, letting her tears flow freely. "Thank you for coming to get me," she spoke, her voice filled with admiration and gratitude. "You are incredibly brave. I was deeply impressed by your courage and willingness to sacrifice. I will always be there for you, just as you were there for me."
Your eyes shined with gratitude and a hint of relief. You knew the road to recovery would be long and difficult, but you also knew you didn't have to walk it alone. You had Emily by your side, strong and unwavering, and the team that supported you. Together you would overcome this challenge, side by side, hand in hand, ready to weather any storm that blew your way.
You knew that the bond between you both was strong, strengthened by the flames of fate you had traversed together. And so began a journey of recovery and growth for you that would bring you closer together than ever before. Every step you took together would show you that the love and connection you felt for each other was stronger than any darkness that threatened you.
#emily prentiss#emily prentiss imagine#emily prentiss imagines#emily prentiss fanfiction#emily prentiss fanfic#emily prentiss oneshot#emily prentiss x reader#emily prentiss x you#emily prentiss x fem!reader#emily prentiss x female reader#emily prentiss fic#emily prentiss x y/n#criminal minds#criminal minds oneshot#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds imagines#criminal minds fiction#criminal minds angst#criminal minds fic#criminal minds x female!reader#criminal minds x you#criminal minds x reader#fanfic#fanfiction#oneshot#imagines#imagine#criminal minds fandom
294 notes
·
View notes
Text
content note: discussion of suicide.
this next monday will be the six year anniversary of losing one of my friends to suicide.
when he died, my high school barely mentioned his death, even though for other students who died by things like car crashes or illness, there were so many public expressions of grief. they believed that having any memorials for a student who died by suicide would encourage other people to die the same way. in their rush to erase the circumstances of his death, they erased the memory of his life.
there are so many things i am angry at that high school about in terms of how they treated mental health (mandatory reporting and collaborating with cops, their refusal to recognize the ways in which that system led to peer-to-peer crisis support, their refusal to recognize the ways that trying to keep each other alive through trial and error was scary and exhausting, carceral disciplinary policies, etc etc etc). but i think one of the things i am still angriest about is the way they enforced shame around his death. it felt like they were retroactively blaming him for the constellation of circumstances that made suicide an option in his life. it felt like they were blaming those of us who missed him and cared about him and wanted to grieve him. it made those of us still there who were actively suicidal feel even more scared about the reaction if we did reach out for help from one of those mythical safe adults.
as an adult now involved in psych abolition/mad liberation work, it makes me so fucking mad to see the ways in which he was discarded by people in authority positions. and the older i get, the more options i have found in my life for making sense of the world and finding healing and community and support which were never available to him because he died when he was 16 and the only things offered to him were a carceral psychiatric system that blamed him for his own fucking death. it feels so incredibly unfair.
i miss him and i think i always will; i can't remember his laugh or the sound of his voice or his favorite color any more and that aches. this grief is so heavy and it feels harder in a new way each year, when i become older than he will ever be. sometimes meeting new comrades or seeing new anticarceral suicide support models hurts because i wish so fucking bad that we had that back then. i remember how close we came to losing even more people that year and i know it is simple fucking luck that i'm still here when he's not.
i remember another letter (never sent) that i wrote to a friend while they were in an ICU bed after a suicide attempt when i didn't know if they would live or not. i have spent so much time in the past 10 years begging for anything to keep me and my friends alive, but even in that letter i knew that there is so much fucking violence that is hidden beneath psychiatric logics of cure and safety that promise a "solution" to suicide. I knew that institutionalization, coercion, and shame would not have helped build a life more liveable for him or **** or any of the people i've loved and lost since.
there needs to be more fucking options for care and support that aren't so incredibly cruel to suicidal people. i know so many people doing incredible work in alternatives, peer respite, a million different frameworks for healing and liberation. but it makes me so mad every day i have to live in a world where there are still people restrained, locked up in psych wards, having all autonomy and personhood taken away from them. knowing there are dozens of people every day getting blamed for their deaths the same way he was blamed for his.
i miss him. i cared so fucking much for him. and he died by suicide, and all of those things are true. he has been dead for 6 years and he lived before that and the people who loved him want to remember all of him; our celebrations of his life should not require hiding the way that he died.
Image description: [1000 origami cranes in all different colors and patterns that are tied together in strings of 25]
(these were the 1000 cranes we made to give to his parents, in memorial and recognition of how much he meant to us.)
#personal#suicide tw#suicide mention tw#psych abuse tw#psych ward tw#ok to reblog if u want#psych abolition#mad liberation#psych survivor#it's a lot of grief hours over here and will be for a while all week i think#lots of grief so many ways this year for so many people#but this week. his memory . my grief for him#is hitting especially hard. i think partially because of all the transitions in my life. i'm graduating college. he will never become an ad#adult.#i think i might ask my roommates if they will go do something to remember him with me. maybe making origami cranes and sending them off in#the river. or writing things down and burning them#idk. grief is hard#six years in grief is different. but hard
297 notes
·
View notes
Text
So I’m a bit ambivalent about Tomasi’s ‘Tec run as the lead into #1000 (#995-999).
It does what it needs to do, it’s a very Tomasi run, and it’s once again clear evidence to me that everyone trying to tell me Bruce needs to seek psychiatric help is completely wrong, because look, Bruce is once again busily screwing with his brain in the form of cutting edge psychological interventions.
He needs LESS time spent indulging in sensory deprivation tanks, personal analysis of his psyche, and designing mental systems to withstand mind reading, torture and mind wipes, not more.
Don’t inflict Bruce on a psychiatrist. He might get MORE IDEAS.
(It’s fine. It’s Bruce getting down to the basics of What Built Batman again. I am very impressed with his level of self-repression managing to reenact the first fight from Batman Year One without inserting either Selina or Holly, even though his wedding failed only half a year earlier. Proud of you, Bruce. So unhealthy)
24 notes
·
View notes
Note
i may be the only person who adores spencer but doesn’t really care about mgg 💀💀💀 he’s heavy on that theater kid vibe that annoys me to no end
this is so funny and valid
incoming long and only sort of related rant about how stupid celebrity culture and stanning is🗣️🗣️ and how we all need to stop being so emotionally invested in celebrities (yes even my boyfriend mgg)🗣️🗣️!!
i think mgg is really funny and he seems nice and endearing but i also have a deep distrust for all men! ESPECIALLY famous men cause fame fucks with your psyche, so while i really do adore the version of himself that he presents to the general public, i also try as a general rule to never be too emotionally invested in celebrities. because at the end of the day they are human beings and we see barely a fraction of who they really are. i think a lot of what we as fans see from him is his genuine personality but it is only part of it. we should never assume we really and truly know a celebrity based on how they present themselves to the public. if we did that then by those standards we’d believe almost every celebrity is absolutely perfect and that is just false. by virtue of being a human, which celebrities are and always have been first and foremost, you are going to be messy and probably do some fucked up stuff in your life. i know i’ve done some fucked up stuff in my life and it would be ridiculous to believe that mgg has never done anything fucked up in his life, as it would be ridiculous to assume that about any person ever.
so by adoring and becoming overly emotionally dependent on who you think a celebrity is as a person, you are setting yourself up for inevitable disappointment. if you idolize someone and can’t accept that they are human and have done fucked up shit just like you or me or your best friend or your parents or whoever, you will be crushed when you find out they’re not perfect. which is why i think cancel culture is so fucking dumb. imagine if everyone in your life found out about that mean thing you said to your friend once when you were really mad 10 years ago and all collectively decided to abandon you and shame you and harass you and label you as worthless forever. that is so so crazy. imagine any time you made a mistake or poor choice and how disproportionate it would be to be fired and shunned socially and bullied relentlessly by everyone for that mistake or choice. that’s the standard we hold celebrities to.
so i really would not be surprised to learn that mgg was like a really bad friend one time or made a bad choice or something. but would that alter my worldview and crush my soul? no! i have also been a bad friend and made bad choices! and sometimes continue to make bad choices! circling back to life is messy and humans are messy and things aren’t black and white!
i think it’s important to understand that he is literally just some guy who happens to be famous and he has flaws just like the rest of us. i’m not invested in his being a perfect person, i have no allusions that he’s always and exclusively exactly the way he acts with his fans, and am able to critique him when i think he does something weird or annoying LOL. that said i really like him! i think he’s funny and interesting and seems really kind! but me liking him does not hinge on him being flawless and angelic.
so basically if you’re going to be crushed when it comes out that your fav did something bad, then unstan because i can promise you with 1000% certainty that literally every single celebrity you like has done something fucked up and weird and bad just like every single person on the face of the planet has or will!
36 notes
·
View notes
Text
𓅦 About Me 𓅦
A little get to know me post for my moots or whoever else wants to get to know me!
A little intro:
You can call me Ostrich!
I’m a 23 year old trans man. I am 4n4rex1c. I have 2 dogs named Marty and Winston. I have 14 tattoos and 2 piercings. I am currently a pre-nursing student studying to become a psychiatric nurse. I’m also currently working on getting a job as a behavioral health tech at a rehab or psych hospital. Im the president of my universities lgbt club. I’m a recovering alcoholic and will have 2 years sober on January 21st. I’m a massive nerd especially when it comes to Batman!
Hobbies!
𓅦 pen palling
𓅦 sending and making cards
𓅦 sending snail mail
𓅦 collecting (specifically Batman stuff, comic books, plushies, Sumikko gurashi stuff, stickers and ostrich stuff)
𓅦 cooking (mostly for other people but also low cal stuff for me)
𓅦 planning events and parties for my club
𓅦 reading
Likes!
𓅦 OSTRICHES!
𓅦 Celsius energy drinks
𓅦 Batman
𓅦 Lord of The Rings
𓅦 stickers
𓅦 anything kawaii
𓅦 the color pink
𓅦 Magic The Gathering
𓅦 pusheen
𓅦 Sumikko Gurashi
𓅦 Stuffed animals
Mental health shit
𓅦 Bipolar 1
𓅦 4n4 (my stats are on my pinned post)
𓅦 I struggle with $h
𓅦 diagnosed with alcohol abuse disorder but am sober AF
Random fun facts
𓅦 I’m a furry (not the weird kind though don’t worry)
𓅦 I own over 1000 sticker sheets, (I use some and send some with cards and letters I send to pen pals and I also just hoard them lol)
Why Ostriches?
So if you have made it this far you are probably thinking “wtf is up with this man and ostriches” Idk why but for the longest time I have been obsessed with ostriches! They are my favorite animal of all time and I think they are adorable and cool af. My obsession is real af though; I have an ostrich tattoo, I have ostrich statues and toys and books and figures, I have an ostrich shower curtain in my bathroom, I even have a wall dedicated to ostrich art and cards people have made me. I did as many projects on them as possible in school growing up whenever I got to choose a topic. I just really really love them lol.
𓅦Thank You for reading!𓅦
If I sound cool to you and you wanna be moots feel free to give me a follow and I’ll follow back!
#4nor3xia#an0r3cia#disordered eating mention#tw ed not ed sheeren#light as a feather#4norexla#anadiet#ftm ed#thinasanostrich#i just want to be thin
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
fic writer interview
tagged by @marichild tysm for the tag !!
how many works do you have on ao3?
239. ish.
top five fics by kudos
1. plum blossom (zukka) 2. you clutched my brain and eased my ailing (zukka) 3. (just wanna be) somebody i'm proud of (jjk, gen ft. itfs, nbmk, qpr inok, & stsg) 4. my calamitous love & insurmountable grief (zukka) 5. five times ryan came out (and one time he couldn't) (..hsm) my honest confession is that i don't really like any of these. also why is my hsm fic back in my top five i thought i got rid of that thang‼️
do you respond to comments? why or why not?
sometimes, but i get overwhelmed by them very easily so i am bad at responding. i do read them all though and i appreciate them very much <3
what's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?
snowfall
what's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?
i'll say the dream that you wish since it's supposed to be fairytale-like with a and they all lived happily ever after vibe at the end
do you write crossovers?
somewhere in the depths of my history there is legend of a fic i wrote with a friend in middle school which we called The Megacrossover and included all of our fandoms at the time. other than that not usually, no
have you ever received hate on a fic?
yeah but not recently. i get hate for other things now :P
do you write smut? if so, what kind?
deep sigh. the problem with friends is that they will encourage you to do horrible, horrible, things (/lh /aff) anyway yeah i have two smut fics posted. possibly another one on the way but who can say for sure (<- i have an Idea but i may not have time for it). as for what kind.. whatever my enablerrrr friends encourage
have you ever had a fic stolen?
not that i'm aware of
have you ever had a fic translated?
yes!
have you ever co-written a fic before?
i helped louie out with a margaret birthday fic, but beyond that it's mostly been coming up with AUs with other people rather than actually writing out fics
what's your all-time favorite ship?
i usually just say outlaw queen (regina x robin hood from ouat) for this one. they did irreversible damage to my psyche when i was a teenager. as for current favorite ships though, i'd say lucygin and any combination of kunichuuranzai excluding s.kk alone
what's a WIP you want to finish but don't think you ever will?
i don't like declaring that i'll never finish a wip if i genuinely like it but i do have several longfic ideas that i probably just won't ever get around to even starting. mostly atla fics (azula-centric tuvml sequal, emma au,,) but there are probably some others from other fandoms as well that are escaping my mind at the moment
what are your writing strengths?
characterization!
what are your writing weaknesses?
not liking the popular ships and fanon characterizations. <- JOKING. IM JOKING. in all actuality it's probably the fact that i have way too many ideas and get distracted before i can finish (or start) and then if i'm rushing to finish something i end up putting in less effort than i'd like and it doesn't turn out as well as i'd hoped.
what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
do whatever you want forever, as long as you're being respectful about it
what's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?
i have like 100 bsd ships i want to write for and haven't yet. it's a problem. this is why all of my ships are rarepairs - because im not focusing on just one ship to churn out 1000 bad fics for--- ahem anyway. i'd love to write nikoran and tanitachihigulucygin polycule especially. i also want to write mizisua at some point but i don't have any ideas at the moment
what's your favorite fic you've written?
i'm supposed to choose?? i'll just throw out a couple i like
the body i'm in - 18.2k words, 3 chapters akutagawa siblings character study
alive & free (look at me!) - 22.4k words nikolai & kenji post-doa arc
(i am) the whisper of a memory - 13.5k megumi character study written in the wake of jjk 213
+ honorable mentions to where i am going (is right where i am) and make your heart remember me
idk who to tag so if you want to do it, i'm tagging you 🫶
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
okay sooo 1. once little man is done with my laptop i need to do the ssn shit bc i have the letter 2. in an hour i need to switch my laundry to the dryer and at Some point i need to sleep preferablyyyy i oush as long as i can its been 28 hours i Think? since i woke up i dont avtually remember its all kind of a blur i do have a headache and my fuckshit tooth is bothering me but whatever . once i get the ssn login thing done im pretty sure i can get a new card like right away and then once that gets here i can go and get my permit And by then my new glasses will be here which is epics and ummm at some point not today bc im tired and have a headache aka not at my best. so once those 2 things r not the case i need to do the science and math ged practice tests ive been putting them off bc im scared ill do bad SKULL.but i need to get those done ... and omce i have the permit and everything thennnnnn i can go do my actual proper ged tests and once those r done ill have my ged and an id and thus can start applying for jobs again And ill be so brave and ask my mom to teach me how to drive . YIPPEE
#im not a tually very tired i kind of just want to scream nd explode and run around the neighborhood or something. but its okay#and once i get a job and i e saved up umm i think my rule is 1000 then im allowed to go to the dentist for my fuckshit tooth and im allowed#to go to the um whatsit called for my fuckshit hormones and im allowed to maybe find a psych again and see if we can get things cooking up#there as in i think i rly srsly need medication . bc i dont think im going to go for talk therapy like ever again bc its kind of useless to#me which is funny bc god if theres one thing i do its fucking talk . but whatever.i think i need to see a proper psych and not one that im#like. going to With my mom and thus am obviously not honest#and i can get a gp of course probably thatll be the first step but irs so like. i dknt understand how yr supposed to get a gp#not a gp is it. pcp thats what i meant#primary care physician i need to find one I tried in wa but i didnt like. idk i think im a tually deeply atupid and not made to livenin the#world but also rhere was a lot of shit working against me up there LOL .so yeah omand then once i do all that i will work and work and work#and work and save up money i wanna save like assssssss much money as i can b4 i move out just in case theres like. issues. + like ill be#buying furniture and stuff and itll be lotsies like. since i dont rly have any furniture i think will be coming with me or nothing ....#so yes . this is connors 8000 step plan for being a person again and once i get all of this done then i will maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe#maybe be stable enough to start making friends again. so see me in like 1-2 years and we will see how its going#thats probably dramatic. but like idk i think itll take me at least a year or so From now to like. save up minimum amt for apartment#not that i have a ton of expenses or anything but some of my mkney will probably be going to my parents just to help with everythang#and idk how much ill be making of course. less than wa one presumes bc its umm#cheaper here . you know...#ok. i just wish i could do it all today and i didnt have to wait its always always always waiting i hate it#why cant the world revolve around when i get my sudden bursts of energy#ohhh but whatever. ill have my apartment and maybe even a car depending on how the whole driving thing goes and i can name my car and#get like stickers or something from my car Probably not a tually that a tually scares me quite a bit bc the idea of somebody seeing my car#and being able to think something abt me from it scared me quite ferociously i dont rly know why its not like a Oh what if they FIND ME !#im just a control freak and i hate that ppl can see like#a thing abt me and then make an assumption abt who i am as an entire person bc i need everybody to understand every facet of everything abt#me so that im not misinterpreted or misunderstood or whatever Which is an impossible thing and i need to get over that and i shouldnt be#reaking out abt a sticker on a car oh my goddd.#but also like this may be a lie but i was told it when i was like 10 soive been assuming it was true but when i was 10.somenody told me#car stickers r like permanent and like logically im thinking abt it idk how true rhat is but they do seem kind of a bitch to remove and what#if im like oh ill get a picture of like idk smurfette or something and then like idk smurfs company comes out and theyre like I actually
1 note
·
View note
Note
Sadly i think you’ve proven the point that started w aos kirk and understanding all his messiness that fandom will always be better at filling in the blanks w depth w ur wonderful look at snw Spock. Also there are a few snw fics (time after time, the 1000 hr sleep, milk and honey) I’ve read that have done a much better job of trying to understand snw spock (and reimagining a younger tos kirk) than the show will probably ever attempt
Ahhh, thank you so much for the love! 🥹 Honestly, I think you’re right—fandom is so good at taking characters like AOS Kirk or SNW Spock and really filling in those blanks with emotional depth and complexity that sometimes the source material doesn’t quite capture. I think part of the magic of fandom is that we can explore all those messy, imperfect parts of characters and give them the depth they deserve. We’re out here like character therapists, analyzing every single thing they do and assigning meaning to it because we care that much. (And let’s be real, it’s low-key what keeps us going when the canon drops the ball.)
I haven’t read those SNW fics you mentioned (Time After Time, The 1000 Hour Sleep, and Milk and Honey), but now I’m super intrigued! Honestly, I haven’t really dipped my toes into the SNW fanfic pool yet—part of me is just a little scared of what I’ll find out there, and I don’t even know why. (A Spock/Kirk stan hesitating on reading fanfic?? Who even am I? 😂) But maybe I need to take the plunge and just go for it. Or, hell, maybe I just need to bite the bullet and write my own SNW fic so I can explore Spock’s psyche the way I want to!
Either way, it’s good to know that there are people out there giving SNW Spock the depth he deserves. We’ll fix it ourselves if we have to!
10 notes
·
View notes
Note
I haven't watched adventure time in so long, I never even finished it tbh BUT I do remember that Fiona and cake was, like, fanfic made by the ice king? How are they now canon characters? Or is it still a story he's writing? I'm just curious about the plot of this sequel/spin off and I figured I'd ask the resident Simon Expert™
OK SO fionna and cake are part of an extended fanfiction universe ice king was writing, usually kidnapping and forcing people to listen to him read it
as of the hbo mini series simon petrikov (the original human guy in the 20th century who put on the ice crown and got all wicked nasty bonkers over the course of 1000 years) has been freed from the curse (by his hot, briefly also wizard-cursed fiancee, betty grof, who he technically teleported to the future where she vowed to save him from the curse when he temporarily turned back into a human, and she did just that by harnessing the power of the crown and merging with the being of all chaos, golb) for around 12 years. fionna and cake are something he wants absolutely no association with, and nobody is listening to him.
humans have returned to ooo and live in big floating city in the sky, where simon seems to be living out the prolonged existential crisis of losing betty, being completely out of touch with contemporary humans to the point that he's LITERALLY a living exhibit, and the complicated trauma of his time as the ice king; he's physically sickened by the mere presence of ice in his drink and the fionna and cake manuscripts he wrote, but also admits to secretly regressing to ice king as a method of coping, finding comfort in the lack of awareness he had in that state. he's overwhelmed with the feeling that there's nothing left in this world for him but a slow march towards a lonely death. worse yet, he's become completely unable to express to anyone close to him the gravity of this growing darkness, even marceline for fear of putting her back in a situation where she was constantly concerned for his mental wellbeing.
now simon's getting desperate, potentially world-breaking desperate, and is using basically fucked up forbidden magic to try to connect with gol-betty again, possibly even summon her (which would probably destroy the world and fucking hell i do not blame him) - but while completing the ritual he was distracted by mention of fionna and cake, and now there are portals appearing in an alternate universe where fionna and cake are real, but non-magic, and coming out the back of simon's head
TECHNICALLY we still don't know how/or why the alternate fionnna and cake universe came to be, if it's a product of simon's psyche or one of those 'infinite universe, infinite possibilities' type of things, but buddy i am SO fucking here for it i am BACK babeyyyyyyyyy
94 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’m slowly inching my way forward in Rebirth, and I have to say I am actually really delighted with Cait Sith so far. It’s not like I know yet how he works in this canon, but still… lol I see you Reeve. “It feels good to do good”? Hanging his head in shame at the sight of the Avalanche wanted poster? Giving an impromptu lecture on the history of Corel Prison and lamenting that it’s not living up to its potential? I see you Reeve.
Also, Cait Sith is friggin adorable, singing a meow song to guests with his little Scottish voice and having to jump to reach elevator buttons.
Progressed a little further and OMG they showed us Reeve doing his thing. He appears to indeed be doing both genuinely joining Avalanche and spying for Shinra at the same time, if enjoying himself too much and showing too much of himself is anything to go by. Plus, Tseng is clearly aware of what he’s doing and went from him to Rufus to report on Aerith’s position… although it’s not clear yet whether anybody but Tseng knows this, and we DO know the Turks have some mixed feelings about lots of things, so it’ll be interesting to see where this goes. I’m pleased they managed to keep “Cait Sith invites himself to join the party” while also making it more plausible, ie he joined up by being aggressively helpful.
Also, everybody knows that Cait Sith is being controlled by somebody and is something resembling a robot, like without even questioning it. L O L. Of course, they lightly questioned him and he immediately jumped to I AM NOBODY IMPORTANT JUST A LOW LEVEL SHINRA EMPLOYEE WORKING A JOB DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT, so maybe they assumed he was an autonomous robot not unlike Chadley until that moment, who knows. The excess of magic and whimsy in Rebirth has made me realize that these people do indeed live in a world of magic that is sometimes very silly, they’re not gonna question the existence of a sentient magic cat robot person, it’ll only be a shock when they realize one of the Shinra directors was expressing himself by helping them and singing a silly meow song. And also reporting on their movement to Tseng, because if he doesn’t prove his loyalty to Rufus his job could be in danger. So what if he helps them a little too enthusiastically and has an absolute blast doing it?
(Hahahaaaaa my fanfic Reeve is much better at and more concerned with hiding this than canon Reeve, I can’t even tell if he’s actually hiding it from people who aren’t Tseng or not. He’s at least hiding it from his assistant, probably. Oh dear I knew I should have finished my fanfics before Rebirth, even though they aren’t supposed to be fully based on the remake trilogy I am definitely gonna feel obliged to do some rewrites.)
(It does please me to note that there is so far zero reason to see Cait Sith as a separate person from Reeve, very clearly he just basically is Reeve, and we were also shown that he was using his computer to photoshop the wanted posters at a time he also should be actively controlling Cait Sith. Yayyyyy headcanon accurate so far!)
It really does delight me that Reeve is having way too much fun doing this. Of course he is, the man’s horribly repressed.
And Cait Sith is indeed fun to play!
Look, there has been so much else incredibly good and fun and interesting about Rebirth, but Reeve is, still, my favorite, and he’s undoubtedly not as common to talk about as, say, Zack, so I am just gonna commit to being a person who just rambles about Reeve on tumblr periodically because I love him.
I’m just at the desert sidequests section after completing all the Good Saucer/Corel Prison plot—fantastic job with Barret’s character development, by the way—and I am so psyched for the 1000% more Reeve content this game is bestowing upon me. I’m just gonna state for the record real quick that as of right now, I think:
-he controls Cait Sith with his mind, with a magic ability, and Cait Sith is also largely a robot
-he is playing both sides, attempting to mitigate his guilt and the evil things Shinra does by helping Avalanche, while also passing information on them to Tseng (who passes it on to Rufus) probably to prove his loyalty and keep his position
-I haven’t totally decided whether this was all his own idea or if somebody told him to go spy on them, but he is clearly way too into the Join Avalanche part of the plan and is going above and beyond on his own initiative
-because we were directly shown Tseng’s involvement, if the Marlene kidnapping happens, I think it will 100% be something Tseng sets up as insurance. It wouldn’t be Reeve’s idea, not with how sympathetic he is towards Avalanche, and Tseng has some history there and knows where Marlene is and how much she means to them.
Okay, I suspect I started repeating myself at a few points in there so I’m gonna stop. Prepare yourselves for me to just lose my mind and ramble every time Cait Sith and/or Reeve do anything remotely important.
#ff7 rebirth#final fantasy vii rebirth#ff7 rebirth spoilers#ff7 spoilers#I could put a read more tag on it but really#rebirth isn’t even trying to hide cait Sith’s identity#Cait Sith#reeve tuesti
27 notes
·
View notes