#i always forget how incoherent they used to be lol

[askchilchuck]

hi chilchuck!! sorry it’s been a second- i kinda slept through the last time you opened your ask box, anyhows i have music to show you again! as i do every time lol

*pulls out a cd* THIS, is one of my favorite bands ever. i started listening to them when i was really young and they shaped my music taste ALOT, i’m not sure if you’d like them.. but they’re really good. i’mma put them on now *walks over to your CD player and puts in Green days Insomniac album*

sooo, i feel bad if i didn’t elaborate about the last time i shared music- but i totally 100% am ok, i’ve had a couple ups and downs. but i’m doin good, i’m sorry if i worried you at all-

OK!! emotions over, so. i’m gonna be inquisitive and ask how you thought of the sex pistols! also, i’m gonna open up a wee bit and tell you about a band someone showed me. they’re called bad religion and i think they’re awesome sauce. i don’t have a cd to give to you of them, but i’ll work on it!

anyhow- sorry for the long ask. i hope you have a good day, annd.. uhhhh…

see you! *scampers away like a buffoon*

Hey, i’m really proud of you and the progress you’ve made. Getting better isn’t always easy, so I’m glad you’re putting in the effort. It really is worth it.

As for the Sex Pistols, they’re not half bad. I wasn’t sure about the louder instruments, but they’ve kinda grown on me.

He puts in an earbud, and starts listening to the CD. Hey, this one’s not too bad either. You’ve got some good taste, kid.

[cosmicstarlatte]

Reality Show (Obey Me!)

━━━━━━━━━━ ✦ ━━━━━━━━━━

Diavolo convinces Lucifer to have him & his brothers do a new demon reality show that revolves around their everyday lives.

»Characters: Demon Bros // ->[Click here for Part 2: Dateables]

»Tags: LUCIFER CAUGHT IN 4K, Shitpost/Humor, Mentions of reader/MC, Husbando Beel Supremacy, Bulleted Style

»Notes: CM = Crew Member ;; Sorry I was gonna upload this sooner but wanted to draw art for it. xD

Lucifer:

"Okay that's enough, go somewhere else."

CM: "We can't, you agreed to this under contract"

sighs

Mildly regretted his loyalty to Diavolo, otherwise he would've never done this

His camera crew was always on edge with him

The show stressed him more than usual

Perhaps there were a few embarrassing moments he would prefer not to talk about

Like pushing a door that said pull, forgetting the word spoon and calling it a tiny bowl on a stick

[Camera peeks through Lucifer's study, recording a smiling Lucifer texting on his phone]

CM: "Who were you texting Lucifer? Was it ___? There's been rumors..."

"I was checking the weather."

CM: "You take selfies for the weather?"

Mammon:

"Hey wait stop recordin' this! Not that what we are doin' is illegal!"

His camera crew had a rough time with him

But it made for good television!

He talked shit about Lucifer the most

"Yeah a lotta people dunno this, but Lucifer cries to me all the time! What can I say, I'm a reliable guy!"[Crew zooms in on an unamused Lucifer in the background]

[Cut to Mammon hanging from the ceiling]

"Can someone get me down from here!? HEY! WHERE ARE YOU GUYS GOIN'!?"

A lot of the crew's clips had shaky movement from running due to multiple mammon situations

They got a great swoon-worthy shot of Mammon gazing lovingly at you

CM: "Maybe you should confess?"

"I'm confessin' to nothin'! Talk to my lawyer!"

CM: "That's not what we- Nevermind."

Levi:

"I already stream online so this isn't any different."

lol

Levi didn't realize they'd be watching his every move

How was he suppose to worship his shrine of Ruri and you in front of them!?

His camera crew couldn't stop cringing around the otaku

it was uncomfortable for everyone

[Camera films secret sweet moment of him awkwardly practicing asking if you want to hang out]

He asked for it to be deleted, it was denied

However his ratings shot up after that clip and the next one:

CM: "Do you have a crush on ___?"

"W-what!? N-no!!! (Incoherent Levi noises and he trips)"

That clip became a viral meme for weeks

I'm talking remixes and everything

In the end his camera crew actually did have a lot of fun with him and they game online together now

Satan:

"Watch your step. Oh, don't touch that!"

His camera crew had a difficult time with him

He managed to avoid them frequently so he wasn't overly present in the show, much to the annoyance of Lucifer and the others

If they did catch him, all the clips looked the same, all he did was read

They did manage to catch him feeding some stray devildom kitties

[Camera zooms in on him in his room with a collared cat on his lap]

CM: "I thought you couldn't have pets?"

"It's not mine. Clearly, I can't control what comes in my room as of late."

CM:  "It has a collar?"

"Next question."

CM: "What can you tell us about the Anti-Lucifer League?"

"I don't know what you're talking about. Next question."

CM: "Okay... viewers want to know what's up with you and ___?"

[Satan opens a book and gets sucked in]

Asmo:

"It's like, Devilgram Live, but longer!"

Most unbothered out of everyone

He did get annoyed when they tried to catch him before he could start his morning beauty routine

He was scary, they caught it on camera...it was the only time the crew deleted a clip on a brothers request

Overall his crew had an easy time, it was standard to what they normally do, Asmo himself was fun

He was a natural, of course everyone loved him, who wouldn't?

Was the one to start drama for the sake of tv

Nothing too crazy just messed with Luci's schedule, got Mammon arrested, hid Levi's Ruri body pillow, little things really!

[Camera catches Asmo cuddling next to you]

CM: "You seem very fond of them!"

"I am! Oh maybe we can do like a one year WEDDING special later on!?"

Beel:

"Just don't get in my way I guess."

He wasn't really on board with the idea but not much he could do

His crew had an average time with him, he was easy and chill to film

They caught him doing a lot of activities like, cooking/baking, sports, gaming, it was surprising to viewers

His work out clips got a lot of views too, he was a busy demon

They filmed him helping around the house, even cleaning your room and leaving you little gift snacks

CM: "Wow, snacks? You must really like ___!"

"Yeah. I love them. I want to give them the world."He confidently admitted, smiling brightly

Had high ratings in the polls, the show gave everyone a new perspective of him who wasn't just a gluttonous beast

Belphie:

CM: "Is he breathing?"

"Zzz..."

The crew had an easy but boring time with him

There's only so many hours of a sleeping Belphie you can record

The were some soft serene moments with him,Beel and you, gazing at the stars

[Camera catches him sleeping, smiling and mumbling something about you]

CM (poking): "Belphie wanna share what you were dreaming about? We heard you call their name. "

"Only if the network agrees to air it unfiltered. It will be very descriptive."

CM:

CM: "That's a wrap guys."

⬦You might also like: MC's Livestream

[olasketches]

So the fight is really over...my glorious four armed giant spider is gone. Yuji really was foreshadowing about the slime thingy heh. I'm so happy to see the trio back and together again like you tell me this a year ago this is what was going to happen and I'd just give you a maniacal laugh. But I still don't know how to feel about Sukuna's end like we all knew he was going to die and in perspective it does feels satisfying. Sukuna being ripped apart from Megumi and his little convo with Megumi...yeah dude really is walking contradiction. Always saying he's living to die but actually doesn't want to die. Indirectly answering Kashimo's question. But his end just seems...eh? Like at first Kenjaku's end seemed like that to me too but it made sense later on. Kenjaku came in silence and went like that but Sukuna he was never like Kenjaku or Mahito so his ending being parallel to Mahito didn't really sit right with me and i actually wanted him to get anything but a glorious death but this feels...stale somehow? Idk he's still the same untrue to himself. Wish we could get more of his thought process. Or maybe this was it to show Sukuna's denial became his defeat. I just hoped for more emotionally charged defeat of his..but it's GeGe story I'm happy they're telling it like they want to.

Also Uraume and Hakari was funny too they fought all this time bonded, praised and just dipped. Makes me think if they had a binding vow with Sukuna too? Sorry for all the yap and incoherence. I'm just feeling underwhelmed? Overwhelmed? what are your thoughts regarding this chapter and Suku's end?

"my glorious four armed giant spider is gone" took me out sksksksk he's really just a bug when you think about it lol.

anyway thank you for sending me your ask. I really liked reading your thoughts and how you called suku out for being contradictory and a hypocrite till the very end AS YOU SHOULD THANK YOU!! honestly, this fact alone makes the whole chapter all the more special to me but on this in a sec cause I'm guessing the reaction to his demise is quite... well I guess ppl are not really happy with it..??? I mean some of them probably are and by "some" I mean *cough, cough* the haters *cough, cough* but well... I wouldn't know cause ONE I'm actually (and maybe surprisingly) super pleased and satisfied with this chapter and TWO, I didn't go and check others reaction to it lol I'm planning to keep it that way for now. I'm really not a big fan of twt fandoms spaces in fact I can't stand them... too much negativity and toxicity *shudders*.

so my thoughts... to put it simply, I loved it more than loved it actually. and yeah yeah sure he turned into a slimy lil bug which probably put many people off but hey let's not forget sukuna was basically like a parasite possessing megumi's body, so it makes sense that once peeled off only curse-like residues would remain... but I can understand why some stans didn't like that part. I personally found funny but that's just me lol.

and yeah the final seemed quite underwhelming, but I think that's what makes it so good. I didn't want sukuna's death to be the most interesting thing about his character and well it's not. rather than having a big an "after life" moment like jogo, gojo or kashimo, he spent his last moments with the only person who cared about the human sukuna so stubbornly tried to burry inside him.

I actually found his conclusion to be quite beautiful and moving, cause instead of being looked down upon by yuuji as many stans thought would be the case, he was offered something else entirely. something no one ever gave him - kindness and love. yes, I'm using the "L" word here cause in the end that's what it was... yuuji showed sukuna the true value of love. he accepted him and ask him to live with him despite everything sukuna has put him through. despite all the chaos chaos and distraction he caused him, yuuji still accepted him. he not only showed sukuna genuine empathy and compassion but also recognised that sukuna is really... just like him. when yuuji looked into (blop) sukuna's eyes (my beloved) he could only see himself. he realised that under different circumstances, he could've turned out like sukuna if he didn't have his grandpa by his side. he realised that if he could have turned out like sukuna then sukuna could've turned out like him too, that if only sukuna had someone who loved him and guided him and accepted him, he most likely wouldn't have turned into a curse, which is another thing I loved and cry about in this chapter.

sukuna only saw himself as a curse :")). he acknowledged yuuji and finally called him by his full name but in the end he still only think of himself as a "curse" not as human, not even as a god or king of curses but only a curse :")).

the reason why I loved just how "underwhelming" his death felt like is because instead of framing and defining his entire character by his his final moments, gege made the rest of his moments in the manga stand out EVEN MORE. instead of having a moment of reflection and introspection in this chapter as well as in chapter 265 or 266... and oh well entire shinjiku showdown basically, his character started to trip and reveal just how contradictory he is. sukuna claimed he was satisfied with his life and doesn't care about dying, he also claimed he doesn't care about ideals and even despised them, he also claimed he doesn't feel anything and he doesn't need others to satisfy him and then you have all those small moments when you realise "wait, that is not right" and you look back and rethink everything. sukuna does feel and he NEEDS others to satisfy him, cause that's what his entire "philosophy" hinges on.

"Every human has a unique and fleeting taste... which makes devouring them a perfect way to pass time until death"

he DID get excited when maki became the first person to ever give him a role

This is a first. You're the only one who ever forced a role upon me. (while grinning like a maniac)

and then megumi lied his bs out in the open and revealed that sukuna was afraid of death too, despite believing otherwise

Even something like you fears death...

this only goes to show that sukuna convinced himself (and many other readers) that he is not human, that he is above that, that he doesn't care about the things they do... but if even "something like him" feared death, got excited to be given a role, praised and encouraged others for their talents and skills and connected to them in one way another only to "pass time" or knew about flowers and caught a crayfish then that means... he must be human too.

and even if sukuna and the rest of the world couldn't and didn't want to accept that, there was one person who did. someone sukuna hurt the most, someone who saw him at his worst and at his weakest. someone who in the end still decided to show him love, because he belived sukuna is still worthy of love, despite everyone and maybe even sukuna himself, believing that he no longer is worthy of such thing.

"Even if no one else will accept you... I'll live with you" "Itadori Yuuji... don't underestimate me. I'm... a "curse"!

[froggyfics]

I Miss You, but I’ll Never Say it to Your Face

Jason tries to forget.

I'm trying to get better at writing smut. PLEASE tell me if this is good or not. It's so awkward lol.

Feedback is always appreciated. Feel free to message me privately or comment below to let me know what you think. Constructive criticism is always welcome! 

Pairing: Jason Todd x gn!reader, Jason Todd x fem!OC

Theme: Angst, Smut

Warning: unprotected sex, p in v penetration

Word Count: 1,096

The door to his apartment slams open, the door handle hitting the wall, but he didn’t pay that any mind. If you were here, you would have reprimanded him, reminding him to be more careful. He was always oblivious to his own strength, and how easily he could break things.

He kissed her with passion, leaving dark purple marks across her jawline, neck, and chest. He missed having someone to kiss.

Jason pulls her into the apartment, slamming the door closed. He didn’t care. You weren’t here to scold him. 

“Take it off,” she whispers.

Jason follows her orders, stripping off his jacket, and then his shirt. She fumbles with his belt, while he kicks off his shoes. He shoves her towards his bed, and she giggles as her back hits the mattress. 

No one has laughed in his apartment in a while. It was nice to hear. 

He fools around with her for a while. They get tangled up within the sheets. His bed no longer smells like you, thankfully. 

He starts at her lips and goes south. He leaves sloppy kisses on her neck until he reaches her nipples. He looks at her seductively, then encircles one of them with his mouth. She hisses as he toys with it, pulling, sucking, and licking. He does the same with the other. Her hands tangle in his hair. 

He’s there, but he’s not really there. It’s like his physical body is functioning, but his mind is elsewhere. It’s with you. As his fingers play with her clit, and his mouth suctions to her nipples, he wonders about you.

Where are you right now? Are you at home sleeping? Are you finally finishing that show you told him about? 

Or are you out? Did you…meet someone else? Are you doing the same things that he’s doing? Are you taking other people home? 

The thought of you with someone else infuriates him. He needs to be distracted before he spirals again.

He suddenly detaches himself from her. She’s completely bare, waiting for him. He pulls down his boxers and her eyes widen.

He chuckles. Her reaction reminds him of your first time with him. You thought he was too big.

“It won’t fit!” you whimpered. 

He kissed you lovingly, despite your protest. He would never hurt you, he said. He sucked, and licked, and stretched you until you were begging him to put his cock in you. You came three times that night. 

He’s lost in his thoughts, but he feels her hands on him. She puts his cock in her mouth, her hand moving in tandem with her tongue. Saliva and pre-cum dribble down her chin. It feels so good. Or at least, good enough for him to forget. 

He pushes himself off her and climbs back on top. He gives her one last kiss before angling himself at her entrance. He delves in slowly and they groan in unison. He admires her blown out pupils, gaping mouth, and reddened face. She’s objectively a beautiful woman. In another life, he might’ve given her a chance.

But he doesn’t want her. Well, he wants something warm to put his dick in. But he doesn’t want her. She’s just another notch in his belt. Another nameless body for him to use in order to forget.

Sweat starts to prickle across his entire body. She’s incoherent at this point, muttering obscenities and instructions to keep going. 

Jason knows exactly what to do to make this night unforgettable for her. He knows because he’s done this on you countless times before. He pulls himself back up and firmly plants his knees on the bed. He places his hands on the back of her thighs and pushes forward, to where her knees nearly touch her shoulders. 

“Oh, yes!” She’s nearly screaming now. She chants it over and over again. 

He’s nearly to the finish line, but he’s a gentleman in bed. He doesn’t dare finish until she does it first, her thighs quaking as her orgasm takes over. When the aftershocks of it finally die down, he pulls out and sprays his cum on her stomach. It’s not ideal. When he was with you, he’d cum deep inside, but he has to make do with the situation. 

The bed shakes as he plops down beside her. They’re both breathing heavily, regaining some semblance of reality. The dopamine and oxytocin released after sex make him feel like he’s on top of the world. 

The effects don’t last long. He’s soon walking her out the door and they embrace one last time before he closes the door on her. He walks back to his room to immediately strip the sheets and replace them with fresh ones. The shower is his next priority. He doesn’t want to go to bed and smell her on him. 

She reminds him of you. They all do. They’re not you, but he can at least pretend that they are when they’re in his arms. He can never replace you, but he can sure as hell try. 

He feels his exhaustion aching his bones, but he finds himself staring at the ceiling for hours again. Jason groans and reaches for his phone. He opens his contact list and scrolls until he finds your name. 

Should he call? The temptation to do so is so strong. 

No, he shouldn’t. He can’t have you knowing you’re on his mind. Not after all this time. 

His blood boils with anger thinking of all the fights he had with you. It was always your fault. You always wanted more. You could never compromise. He shouldn’t beg for you back. You should be the one calling him up.

Did it really end because of your faults and mistakes alone? Was he a perfect angel during the entire relationship, and you were the imperfect demon? He didn't know anymore. Or rather, he didn't want to remember. It hurt less to push down the memories than it did to rehash them all over again.

He throws his phone back down and closes his eyes. The anger lulls him to the first stage of sleep. Before he falls into deep slumber, he thinks of you and how you used to sleep beside him. You used to be the reason why he woke up every morning, ready to face anything the world threw at him. But now, you’re the reason why he falls asleep bitter and angry, ready to face the darkness that sleep provided before the eventual agony of the sunrise. 

[bunglegaydogs]

skk dynamics!

I just want to talk about Soukoku so that is precisely what I'm going to do ^^

As per, this post has no specific or planned direction, I'm just gonna see where it takes me lol.

It genuinely irks me to see the rampant mischaracterisation within the fandom pertaining to not only just Soukoku, but several other characters as well. Ranpo, Akutagawa, Kunikida, etc. It might just be my dumb little screaming brain being scared of something that's not supposed to be in my head, or hell, something that's in the BACK of my mind, and I know that makes no sense but it does to me xoxo

I just really treasure the dynamic between Dazai and Chuuya and I get frightened that when I think somebody is mischaracterising them, I'm the only one that thinks that and that I'm just perceiving them wrong. Which genuinely is the one thing I never wish to do; when I write fics, my number one goal is to make the characters as true to life as possible. I try my damndest to do justice to their characters, and based off of the lovely people that read it and comment, I'm doing something right, surprisingly.

The characterisation of Dazai and Chuuya specifically is something so important to me because I relate to the both of them the most out of any of my interests. And I have a LOT of interests.

I don't know why or how, but they came to be my absolute favourite characters over all other fandoms and shows and games and films I enjoyed. (I'm excluding the Marauders fandom here, because I also love Remus and Sirius exactly like this). I piss myself off with it sometimes, because I accidentally base all of my creative outlets off of Soukoku, and lo and behold, I have about 30 unfinished ideas/fics after one night of ruminating over these motherfuckers.

Anyways. Like I said, this post has no point, it's just my incoherent, incessant rambling that if I don't write down, will slowly eat away at me until I die ^^

So, I guess, without further ado, I'm just gonna get going?

LMAO

Anyways,

Soukoku's dynamic has always been interesting. We were introduced to them first (as a pair) as enemies; ex-partners, rivals, loathing each other. But, when we slowly got to see more of their relationship, more of their past, more of their dynamic, quite a lot of us slowly came to realise; oh shit. There's more to them here.

The two of these together aren't just black-and-white characters. Dazai is not inherently good just because he works for the ADA. Chuuya is not inherently bad just because he works for the PM. They are morally grey characters. They've killed people, tortured people, stolen, beaten, attacked, hurt, all that good stuff that comes with being in the Mafia (nevermind fucking Mafia executives). Something that a lot of people seem to forget is where to draw the line between these two organisations; if the ADA is harbouring two fugitives that are ex-mafia, one of them being an executive, another fugitive that terrorised the streets of Japan as a man-eating tiger, and is run by an ex-assassin who was close with the current leader of the Port Mafia, who's to say that they're the good guys? Who is the one to define the evil and the light?

Nobody.

There are no sides.

The Port Mafia aren't the bad guys, and the Agency aren't the good guys. They're both doing their morally grey jobs with their morally grey cast of characters.

Yes, on a base level, the ADA are supposed to be the good guys, whereas the Mafia are the bad. It's a narrow-minded way of thinking and looking at the series, but on a surface level, yes, that seems to be the case.

However, we have layers to this. We know how morally grey these characters are, good or bad. Take Tanizaki, for example, and his way of going about it when Naomi is threatened. He knows he's morally grey. He knows he's not one of the good guys. None of them are! They save people, and that makes them good. But it doesn't make them the good guys. I'm not calling them bad people, of course not. I'm just saying, in the wise words of a post I once read months back, 'Maturing is realising that neither the Port Mafia or the ADA are the good or bad guys'. Something along those lines.

ANYWAYS, I've written this much already and still haven't spoken about SKK.

My point here was their good apple/bad apple dynamic. Dazai is from the same place Chuuya is at, the Mafia. So, by calling Dazai a 'bad guy' you're indirectly also calling Chuuya a bad guy. You're calling Hirotsu a bad guy. You're calling Akutagawa a bad guy. You're calling Higuchi a bad guy. You're calling all of these Mafia members the bad guys; when that's not strictly true. Morally grey characters, yet not monsters. Not bloodthirsty, demonic, evil motherfuckers. They're in the Mafia; not a good start, of course. But again, this does not make them bad people. Actions don't define the person you make yourself out to be, if that makes any sense. Just because a bad person did one good thing one time does not necessarily make them a good person. But if they strive to become a better one by constantly doing good and making active efforts to change their ways, then they're well on their way to earning that title, or coming close to it. Just because someone good did a bad thing one time does not automatically make them a bad person. They're not awful for making one bad choice, depending on the severity and their actions after the choice. Because it can go both ways; strive to be a better person, or fall to be a bad one.

ANYWAYS.

SOUKOKU.

I LOVE SOUKOKU.

So, I'm actually going to talk about them instead of fucking RABITTING ON FOR HOWEVER LONG.

Anyways.

Soukoku is special to me. I relate to the both of them the most. I recognise the flaws in each of them, and I recognise the good. I recognise the changes they're willing to put themselves through for the sake of the greater good, and I recognise the struggles they've been through to get there. I see myself in them, and so I can't help but latch onto them and want to keep them for myself. My subconscious wants to protect them and make them happy and becomes unhealthily attached to these fictional characters.

Anyways.

Soukoku dynamics. Right.

One of my favourite dynamics about Soukoku is the childlike behaviour they exhibit with one another. Even after seven years and they still bicker like they did at 15. I've said it a thousand times before and I'll fucking say it again; they let each other be the children that they never got to be. They let loose with one another. They unwind. They relax. They recognise their similarities (much to Chuuya's chagrin and unwavering denial) and each other's differences. Where there is hate, there is love and trust. It's buried deep. But it's there. The two of them have their walls put high up. They guard themselves well. They keep their shit inside. They let not another soul see what goes on in their hearts. So, with their crying children stuck inside of them and locked down, they let them out around each other. By simply being with each other at any given moment, they're healing their inner children, and allowing them to breathe.

Each moment with Soukoku is so delicate. It feels intrusive to watch their intimate scenes. It feels like such a beautiful moment, so precious to watch and so delicate to touch. The intimate scenes with the two of these are either emotionally charged, blazing, action-packed and full of chaos, or quiet and serene. Tranquil. It's never really neutral ground for them. It's either chaos or serenity, just a calm moment between the two of them, away from the rest of the world and taking (unknowing) comfort in each other's presence.

It's the small smiles from Dazai when Chuuya isn't looking. It's the words and actions with hidden meanings exchanged between them. It's the concern when one of them gets hurt, or is stuck in an unprecedented situation. It's the unfaltering trust and loyalty between each other that pushes them forward, even if it kills them, or seems fruitless. It's the determination that sits in the both of them to protect those that they care about, and put the world above all else for just a moment.

Small, knowing glances. Inside jokes. Petulant, playful bickering. Concerned thoughts. Constant thoughts.

I find it hard to believe that nobody else finds Dazai and Chuuya suspicious; they're hardly discreet about how much they think about each other. Example number one:

Chuuya is drunk with Hirotsu and Kajii. On a whim, he decides to go on a rant about Dazai. Hirotsu and Kajii are apparently sick of it; he does this a lot. He decides, impulsively, to ring Dazai's phone. Dazai picks up the fucking phone. Hirotsu answers, Dazai's like 'Oh, hey, yeah this is my old phone.' Blatantly lies to the motherfucker, because Dazai, honey, you're at home reading; what have you got your old phone from seven years ago next to you, working, and on for? Chuuya wants to speak with him. Gets angry when he can't talk to him to shout at him and complain. Keeps trying to call him back in anger.

Now, if I do say so myself, that's pretty suspicious of them.

Example two:

Dazai in fucking general. He does not shut the fuck up about Chuuya. He tells everyone he meets about how much he spends thinking about Chuuya (everyone except the Agency ahem). He's fucking gay.

That also brings me on to another point. Dazai rarely speaks about Chuuya with the ADA; I'm not too sure I've ever seen him say anything about him to them, except in Wan and the like. (I'm dumb tho tbf). However, upon Yosano figuring out Chuuya's identity, his first reaction is "Goddamn it, Dazai told them". Not that he's a widely known gravity manipulator and its not fucking hard to figure it out, plus the fact that he's a Mafia executive, PLUS the fact that they're a detective Agency? His first impulse is to blame Dazai lmao. Anyways.

You can ignore the first half of that paragraph I was just chatting mad wham.

Anyways.

I just enjoy how peaceful and serene the intimate moments between Soukoku can be. Even the world around them is falling apart, it still somehow feels so beautiful, real, raw, and personal. When Dazai is watching Chuuya fight in storm bringer, it feels so quiet. All hell is breaking loose, yet Dazai is so breathtaken by Chuuya that we feel as if we're interrupting. I don't know why but all I picture upon imagining that scene is a very quiet scene, just for a few seconds, of no music or anything, and white. Just the colour white in as many places as possible. A softness to the screen. I don't know. It just feels like that to me and I can't explain it.

Soukoku's dynamics are so important, because when people mischaracterise both Dazai and Chuuya and then smush that together it creates an abomination of what was supposed to be beautiful and ruins the relationship they really have, muddying their name. Their relationship is special. It's so much more than hate.

Hate is also a crucial part of their relationship, however. And a lot of us Soukoku shippers tend to forget that. We're so blinded by how much we want them to admire and adore each other that we forget how much they do despise one another. And I've mentioned this before in another post.

Their hate is real. It's not a ruse, it's the real deal. They genuinely do hate one another; but that hate is filled with so much more than downright disgust. That hate is filled with the trust of their bond, seven years of partnership, love, and so many unspoken things between the two of them.

Chuuya hates Dazai because he hates himself. He refuses to let himself see the similarities between him and Dazai, because he could never be like him. Chuuya often struggles with his identity and who he is and just how human he is. He didn't know until he was 16 whether he was a real human or not. And so, upon meeting this other human at 15 who craves death and wants to just throw away this human life that he's been given? That's a hard no for Chuuya. He resents Dazai for being so willing to give up his life so carelessly, so easily. He'd do anything at that point to realise just how human he was, to prove his humanity to others and to show his compassion and human qualities. And he stumbles across this stone-cold, suicidal kid who wants to let go of all of that, sees no point in trying to even be human, and who is lacking empathy for other human lives. Chuuya disgusts and loathes that. So, he wants nothing to do with him. Does not want to be attached to him in any way shape or form. Refuses to acknowledge their similarities. So, when he's being tortured, and the first thing he hallucinates is Dazai? It preys on his insecurities and deepest fears. He fears that he's not at all a human, and he fears that he is like Dazai, an unfeeling, indifferent, seemingly heartless boy who wishes to give up on the world, who wishes he was never born, who wishes nothing more than to be granted that sweet release of death.

I can't articulate very well, so for that I do apologise! But yeah, this has always been an important scene for me. In his moment of weakness, Chuuya hallucinated the person that he wanted to see the least, first. He hallucinated Dazai before his freshly dead friends, etc. And claims that, whilst he's being tortured, after Verlaine has killed the people closest to him, that he hates him the most out of anyone in the world. A lot of people said that this was an overreaction; respectfully, shut the fuck up ^^ My boy was being tortured, give him some leeway, yeah?

Anyway.

It just goes to show how deep those roots of self-hatred go within Chuuya; it seems him and Dazai have something more in common than originally thought.

Now, I don't actually have a complete grasp on the reason why Dazai hates Chuuya so much. Because, he doesn't hate him as much as Chuuya hates him, or as much as he makes it out to be. Dazai is an eccentric bastard, dramatising things for the sake of stirring up trouble. He overexaggerates for a variety of reasons, one of those being to conceal any emotion he IS feeling. He makes a big song and dance out of the little things to try and forget about the big things. To not think. Dazai is not numb by nature. He's numb by conditioning. He has conditioned himself to feel nothing, to be cold and logical and rational. Mori, of course, only exemplified these traits, making him colder and more calculated than ever/before. So, my blind guess is that he holds a sort of resentment to Chuuya for being able to be more normal than he is, for wanting to live and not seeing the world as a boring, pointless place. But, he also wants Chuuya to thrive as a human, to be able to live his life knowing and being sure of his humanity. And, when it's only him and Verlaine, he grows quite... emotional (trust me, it's not a lot but that's the only word I can think of) when talking about his humanity. That, Chuuya has to be a human. Because how could he hate someone so much? He has to be a human, because if he wasn't he would like Dazai more.

I think Dazais "issue" (I CAN'T THINK OF WORDS RIGHT NOW LMAO) is that he just wants Chuuya to like him. Maybe he wants a friend. Maybe there's something else to it. But, Dazai has always had strong... feelings, towards Chuuya. "Jokingly" telling him he loves him. Getting awfully close when he doesn't need to, and never does with anyone else. Yeah, you're not fooling anybody hun. Makes many romantic comments that could be passed off as something else entirely about him. Showing active concern for him. Caring for him. Thinking about him. He shows a lot more attention to Chuuya than he gets in return; by that I mean speaks about it more. Is a lot more verbal than Chuuya is.

GAHHHH sorry sorry I just have too much to say and don't know when to SHUT THE FUCK UP but I have SO MUCH more to say, but I'm going to be going off and writing my shitty little fics that should've been written yonks ago <3

have a lovely day/night! ^^

[thestalwartheart]

Hellooo I thought I might bang out some incoherent thoughts following your post about the influx of Blanc fans who hate Bond (or think they do because they've never actually bothered to watch any of the films) since I can't sleep :). I mentioned in my reply to your post earlier that a lot of people can't handle the idea of being emotionally invested a piece of media where the main character is morally ambiguous which genuinely annoys/terrifies me. It would be interesting to get a sense of how you/others actually became Bond fans in the first place and some of the reactions you get from people if you tell them. I get that part of the appeal for Benoit is that he's a bit of a blank slate. You can really project whatever you want onto him because he intentionally doesn't have many defining characteristics, other than the fact that he's queer and has a killer wardrobe. He's always in control of every situation he's in as well as his emotions and understandably, he makes you as a viewer feel safe. Like I get that and I love him dearly but he's also ripe for a certain kind of fan to be really really annoying. I also remember during the glass onion press tour when Edward Norton would always say in interviews that he thought Daniel was more Blanc than Bond in real life and when someone told Daniel about that he was basically like "what the fuck is Ed on about??" which I thought was hilarious. Not to read too deeply into it but I genuinely feel like so much of what he brought to Bond comes from his soul and I always got the sense that his Bond films are deeply personal, which is why they have us out here crying and throwing up. Anyway, thank you for all you have given to the Bond/00Q/Daniel Craig enjoyer community, you are truly a gem <3

I became a Bond fan when I was about twelve and my mother decided moderating film content for a girl about to enter high school was a useless endeavour. Pierce Brosnan was my first Bond. It was the gadgets that hooked me in, mostly, but I grew up after that point watching the films and loving them. Casino Royale was the first one I ever saw in cinema and I'll never forget the tension during that poker game with Le Chiffre. You could really hear the audience's teeth grinding with the stress lol.

I've never really heard any adverse reactions from people when I tell I'm a fan of Bond, but that might be because Daniel Craig's interpretation of the character seems to have lent the films a certain credibility that people aren't as willing to extend to the previous films. At worst, people think it's a bit naff that I like them, which...yeah sure. It probably is! But cringe culture is dead and I am enough of a critical thinker to enjoy problematic or morally ambiguous content without believing any of it should happen in real life. For instance, I think had there been a real public inquiry into intelligence services like M faced in Skyfall, I would probably take the side of the opposition. But it's Bond, so I was cheering M on while she quoted Tennyson.

The best way I can sum my thoughts on Daniel Craig and Bond is to refer to the lovely Ben Whishaw, who said in this interview that Daniel was remarkably clever in the ways he managed to bring the franchise into the twenty-first century, while still being aware of the history of it.

Interestingly, he also said there actually is a lot of Daniel in Bond's character, which is something I was delighted to hear him point out. I mean, Daniel Craig will be the first to admit that he doesn't want to be anything like Bond (see this post for an example and a laugh). Yet, he manages to capture the really vulnerable core of Bond under all that masculine posturing. In the end, Bond has accepted that life isn't all about duty to your country. Love, friendship and family are the things that make you feel steady even when you feel like you're about to tear yourself apart. I can't imagine any previous iteration of Bond managing to carry off that message in a believable way. And I think it happened because Daniel Craig had an incredible, unprecedented amount of creative control over the character.

I'm sure the Knives Out films gave Daniel a wonderful reprieve from having to carry all that literary and film history, but he's so proud of those Bond films, and has said so over and over, even when he's been frustrated with the toll on his body and his personal life. They're great films, and, oddly enough, I think people are only realising it now that his era is over. I hope more people dive into them and see the passion he had for that role, even with all of its ups and downs.

The last thing I'll say is that some fans have a tendency to project their own joys, frustrations and preferences onto actors, assuming that they are, in some way, facsimiles of the characters they play. At the end of the day, Daniel Craig simply doing his job. The characters are brilliant because he is brilliant. It's not real life.

Anyway, I'll continue stanning both Bond and Blanc! Thanks for the ask, friend!

[eofoc]

day 15: music

I WAS WAITING FOR THIS DAY SO BADLY. GGRRGAUUUGH

each of my OCs has a playlist on youtube: Ange ✧ Yuze ✧ Juliet ✧ Roselyn ✧ Orifiel ✧ Mischa

since i think it would be way too long if i elaborated on all of them in one post (lol) i have decided to do ange and yuze :]

lyrics + ramblings about them under the cut!!! be prepared this is another embarassingly long post

YUZE

"With the salt that moves in the midsummer sea, will this face still be my own?"

boy why you so identity issue? anyways yeah since he has nothing to cling onto (his parents who were the only connection he had to his birth country are gone and he cant even remember their names) he kind of just. Yeah. boy. also i like the sea connection Yuze is just so seacoded to me

"I’m a monster who was born into this best, most beloved world An obedient puppet tossed out into an unpleasant era A spider who spins red thread, a hunter who was trapped as expected Give me a reason to live with indifference, doctor"

fits very well with him being a vampire (and everyone knowing about this fact) which certainly Does make him feel like a monster. "an obedient puppet" with how the adults around him used him esp. when he was at Eligioto's... i mean yeah.... im so sad my little guy

"A spider released outside, a batter who got a strike as expected It hurts so much to keep my expression composed; Give me some medicine, doctor"

just the "it hurts so much to keep my expression composed" im wahh WAHHH i hate him...yeah anyways the bottling everything up but in the apathetic and cold and composed calm way...........

"So, reciting a nonsense spell, chewing my fingernails, I was waiting I called out an incoherent name"

this one just makes me sad. "an incoherent name" hes calling out to all the people he already lost in his life. its not just one name. okay whatever honestly

"Without anyone holding any expectations for me, the raise of the curtain approaches The curtain has finally been raised on the theatre show of life, without a single audience member"

the way both him and Ange can relate to how people hold no expectations towards them? im a bit sickly i hope i die something is wrong with them. also the loneliness he feels again... not a single audience member...

"Painfully unpleasant, come and receive this punishment for loving me! I absolutely detest the “me” that you love Listen to this selfishness of mine!"

(slaps his head) this boy can fit so much self-hate in him. also he does feel like it would be very selfish to have any emotions for Ange... well and he also thinks that Ange absolutely hates that he has any feeling for him and Yuze is just a burden essentially (where did you get that from)

"I want to lose that “borrowed” expression of mine already It’s gradually reaching its limit, this world where you exist"

i want to lose that borrowed expression of mine already... his always calm and composed expression that hes forced to maintain..okay

"You'll only waste your tears on your palm Why did I even think of doing this?"

Ange "ill drink up all the tears you gave me" vs Yuze "youll only waste the tears on your palm" so basically Ange who loves Yuze no matter what happens and always clinging to him even if it hurts vs Yuze who thinks those feelings are a burden and a waste

"Ah, I wish you'd understand Forgetting you is no joke Ah, just stop, I don't want to bring back my past Don't look for me anymore"

forgetting you is no joke... dont look for me anymore... why are they LIKE THIS JUST TALK TO EACH OTHER however you can see yeah Yuze has a really hard time letting go of the past

"Lighting up the darkness, the stars are caressing my eyelids I hear some nostalgic voices, and I’m feeling really lonely From beyond the darkness, I hear someone calling me I’m collecting the left-behind stardust within my own palms"

wah... he knows the pain of losing someone he cares for WAY too well. so he wants to be left behind by everyone so they wont be hurt when hes gone. something is really wrong with him

"All alone, I remembered laughing with you For some reason, my emotions just kept on making noise"

childhood memories of when he still had friends and people close to him..okay.. "for some reason, my emotions kept on making noise" he is not used to feeling much at all becuase he represses so much idgaf

"If it was just a shallow nightmare, I could forgive everything Everything lightly and gently falls For some reason I’ve grown lonely"

hahaha when he was younger and his parents died and he was all alone he used to pray all the time it was just a nightmare and he would wake up soon. that did Not happen. haha. Okay

"Do the candles look forward to being used? Enjoy bidding adieu, adieu? Every word I have saved for you came out wrong afterwards So I spoke no more"

he also sees himself as only a tool to be used... also the way that he doesnt know his way with words and often comes off as too blunt or rude when he doesnt mean to #autism yesss king lets just give up on everything ever

"Must be great being you Power comes as second nature Must feel amazing to be longed for, longed for"

i dont have much to say here. i hope i die. why is he like this. power comes as second nature... he never felt like anything is in his control so he envies the siblings a lot... little does he know they dont have SHIT in control either. lol

ANGE

"I daringly wield that kitsch rubi on my own worn-out name I have become so terrifying down to my core that I could defeat nobility How do I look like now? Am I unsightly? Of course I am"

the "am i unsightly / of course i am" line makes me so ill. have i mentioned that his how hates him because he reminds her of his father and yes his looks do play into that. his green eyes especially "my worn out name" my poor little guy who thinks NOTHING about himself and hates the family he's been born into

"Neither sweet words nor a smile will work; if I start to run, I’ve become a beast"

this reminds me of his whole father situation (who ermm killed people) and how if Ange acts even a little out of the line or lets himself drop the harmless act he Will be ostracized by people and they will compare him to his father even more

“All I did was acknowledging my own whines Of course, I couldn’t even have a proper fight with you"

weeheehee he has never stood up to his mom abusing him.. heeh..haha... (collapses to the floor)

"What's wrong with loving you I'll tie you, not let anyone to touch you This must be fate, right?"

thanks god Yuze is a sore loser but the thought that he'd ever fall for someone else HAUNTS Ange. hes just mental like that. he 100% thinks they're soulmates and kills himself 5 times in his mind imagining him with anyone else

"I will drink up all the tears that you gave me You gave me a sweet lie that “it’s ok to be a coward”, have I been able to escape?"

THE WORST LINE EVER MADE. Ange thinks of himself as a huge coward in general so to have someone tell him that its okay to be afraid and its ok to protect yourself and its ok to run away sometimes... hes down Bad im afraid. "have i been able to escape" mostly relating to how he cannot let Yuze go

"Is this called 'I loved you'? Where I struggle to cling to you What's wrong with killing myself, me who you hate?"

can someone tell him suibaiting is not the key to making your boy best friend like you back "is this called i loved you" the past tense i am SO sick. the things they couldve had

"I’ve made it this far chasing your footsteps I’ll break free from this curse and spell"

see this is fun because it can be both about his family (always chasing after Juliet and her achievments, following her footsteps - the curse and spell are his family) or Yuze (hes been chasing after him for so long because he wants to reach him, the curse being their misunderstanding) weeewooo whhheeheehe

"What’s the purpose of this worthless, meaningless pride May seem unaware, but is aware of everything"

fits perfectly with how hes abandoned his pride and loves playing stupid/unaware around people to get to know more info...

"Whatever pains me, whatever saddens me, what was it that I wanted to say? I walked through a town that doesn't know you."

THIS IS SUCH AN ANGE SONG ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY... especially regarding his relationship towards Yuze.. the pain of missing someone and grieving what you couldve had.... the knowledge that the person you once loved has probably became an entirely different person that you dont know anymore.. dude whatever

"The wind blows, the sky's far away. Ah, with me having stopped somewhere, I'm scared to get to know you whom I don't know. I'm in love with a long-dead sunflower."

"im in love with a long-dead sunflower" AAJHJHBHB DUDE DUDE . DUDE. anyways yeah . once again wow Yuze has changed so much haha hasnt he (got severely traumatized) yes the long-dead sunflower is about him too i hope i die

"The shaky pleasantries and talks about nothing I've never asked for them I just wanted that gentle experience, so that I too could be kind It's all alright, all is well"

he hates high society but only really because of his father and the reputation he got.. hes jealous of Juliet whos very well liked by people and they do treat her with a gentleness that isnt extended to him

"Even today, it's another overwhelming day that makes me go crazy Even today, I'm once again laughing at my dreadful face After I have soaked myself in those sweet words, Will anyone come for me?"

"after i have soaked myself in those sweet words / will anyone come for me" referencing how much he focuses on pleasing people because he wants to appear a certain way in his eyes.. and he very secretly hopes to get some of that praise back...

""Mayday!" Even if you realize it's me, You don't need to hold me in your arms again Hey "Mayday!" If you realize it's me, Will you kindly laugh at me once more?"

im so SICKKK i sometimes forget that both ange and yuze were fucking. like. 10 when they last saw each other. like LMAOOO they have both changed so so much (for way worse) and have gone through so many things and have became basically. unrecognizable when it comes to their personalities...ok i really dgaf though . i think theyre both shocked at how much theyve changed. ange who remembers yuze as this shy but bright and kind kid whod always cheer him up suddenly meeting Whatever the fuck is this

"Wishing for what I lacked, I came face to face with a version of "me" that was nothing like myself And yet I kept going, Even through the dark night that made my head swim"

WISHING FOR WHAT I LACKED..god hes so. okay we GET IT!!! you HATE YOURSELF!! the inferiority complex goes crazy ..... he lies and tries to overcompensate so so much that he doesnt even recognize the person he is anymore

It’s trash, it’s rags The blood leaking from your heart held anger only from myself.

they both hate themselves so much. lol. lmao evem. they make me so sickly like just get normal...

‘What is it I lacked?’ After I asked God, the arrow of a fallen angel struck to silence me. I knew it from the start. I was putting on a show that I'd forgotten. I’m holding close the sword you gave me.

he feels like he just puts on a show ... also the "what is it i lacked" portion makes me a bit sick its so angecore. hes angry and feels like a lot of stuff happenign to him is unfair and like hes Right!!!!!

Why is that so? Clinging to my heart is a loneliness not unlike the silence of a winter night

angeyuze and the theme of winter...teehee..........also hes so lonely can someone save him Please

Surely, you were watching the stars alone in all your ignorance, still paying no heed to me, my eyes bloodshot.

also crazy angeyuze core. ange feeling like despite all yuze still doesnt make an effort to understand how he feels or to get closer...ouch. its a bit funny because like girl. YOU are the one constantly hiding behind a smiling mask and being like nooo hehe im fine :p

[rainingongallifrey]

@lovipop2049 So this is my incoherent, rambling opinion of the Jonathan Ships lol and I decided not to tag the ships because I really hope no one is going to be mad about my opinion. If they do find me please hide me. 🫢 I do love or enjoy all the Jonathan ships so far but I just prefer some dynamics over the others.

I'm so glad you said that! Jargyle is my favorite too. Right exactly they are so perfect and Argyle is so sweet to him and caring and kind its just nice to see Jonathan being treated right for once and be shown so much love and praise and Argyle just babying him and taking care of his kids and showing him nothing but love and support UGGH! It's so adorable. It's the same reason why I love Samantha x Jonathan and Eddithan so much too. But Jargyle is easily my fav.

AHH I figured it out Samantha x Jonathan is SONATHAN. How did I forget that when its spelled so much like Stonathan?

So yeah Sonathan, Eddithan, and Jargyle are my top tier ships. As much as I enjoy Jommy/Stoncy/Stonathan ext, I still favor Jargyle and them.

And seeing someone take care of Jonathan for once instead of him having to take care of them is amazing. He deserves all that love and care and needs it. I can't wait to see Vecna try and come after Jonathan in S5 and Argyle comes in like a handsome prince and saves Jonathan! It better happen. But I guess it doesnt matter cause its already been happening in my head.

Eddithan is my other favorite for the same reason. But Jargyle is still superior imo because its canon I don't have to make up how sweet it is in my imagination-Jargyle was on the show itself while Eddie and Jonathan didn't interact. Not that I'm against non canon ships ofc but I'm sure you know what I mean. Its easier to love a ship where the two are already close and connected to begin with and you don't have to do all the heavy lifting yourself to think of how their relationship is.

I think I got foreverautumn converted finally and supporting Jargyle more than Stonathan. I love Stonathan and that don't get me wrong, but Jargyle is superior and I'm tired of Argyle being overlooked because of Steve supposedly being prettier and better than Argyle and how hes a fan fav.... it makes me mad. Like I'm sorry but thats bs. Argyle deserves Jonathan a lot more than Steve ever has. Argyle has done so much for Jonathan, got him to trust and open up, and Argyle's entire storyline has been about how he supports Jonathan and helps him through everything and makes him happy. I'm tired of people saying Argyle is dumb too when S4 clearly showed how smart he was if it wasn't for him they wouldn't have saved El in the first place and it was his whole idea to go to Surfer Boy so El could piggyback and rescue Max. As much as I love Steve and Stonathan, Jargyle is the superior ship.

I really enjoy Jommy too but I want to see more of us all getting away from it just being the second coming of Stonathan. Because Tommy and Steve may be similar, but Tommy isn't Steve and I'd like to see to see how Tommy treats Jonathan differently and how his relationship with Jonathan goes instead of him just being Steve 2.0. Especially since Tommy treats his S.O. better.

Yeah I want to be clear-No hate to Byergrove or the Byergrove shippers at all. I see the appeal of Byergrove and I love foreverautumn's headcanon of it where Steve and Billy are fighting over Jonathan and how much depth and character development went into that. Billy is so hate-able in that especially because hes trying to break up Steve and Jonathan just so he can have Jonathan, but hes also loveable in that because of how much appreciation he shows to Jonathan and how he keeps bettering himself for Jonathan. I found myself cheering on Billy momentarily because its sweet how he thought Jonathan was worth fighting for and how Billy changed for the better and became a good big brother to Max once Jonathan got ahold of him. There are times I love Byergrove just because its always a really compelling story, but at the same time I wouldn't call myself a Byergrove shipper.

I love Billy I really do I think hes a really interesting and complex character and he really adds to the plot of the headcanons and stories, but I always favored the ships like Jargyle and Eddithan where its someone taking care of Jonathan and showing him love and support instead of the ships where its Jonathan saving them in more ways than one and fixing their lives and helping them and taking care of them and helping them to grow up [like Stonathan/Stoncy/Byergrove/Jommy]. Not that I don't like those stories, I love those stories and those ships and see the appeal cause it shows how special and heroic Jonathan is and puts him in the spotlight and shows off what makes him such an amazing person, but I prefer the ships where the SO takes care of Jonathan instead.

Jonathan doesn't need even more people to baby and take care of he needs to be taken care of and showed a lot of love and support. I guess I favor the 'fluffy' type of relationships too much. Don't get me wrong I love the angst and complexity of ships like Stonathan and that, but I just favor Jargyle and Eddithan because its Jonathan being taken care of and saved and shown so much love. I know I'm rambling and I hope this was coherent.

I was in a rush so I don't know how coherent this was, but hopefully you get what I'm trying to say I love Stonathan/Stoncy and that so much, but Jargyle and Eddithan will always be superior because Jonathan takes care of Eddie and Argyle, but they take care of him even more and help him through his trauma and show him so much love and support and give Jonathan everything he could ever need or want emotionally. All Eddithan and Jargyle is is some big love fest where they just adore Jonathan and praise him and help him and remind him constantly how special he is. Even if Vecna does still brings the drama and angst into their relationship anyway.....

[seiwas]

Sel😆!!! its the nonie with the young bittersweet relationship again (I find this title long and funny lol)! 

thank you for being so kind and genuine first of all🥺 I love talking about this with you!!! and for an emoji could I have a ⭐️ pls🥺🫶?

and I definitely agree about how it’s possible to be friends with an ex! like I think it is but bc of the history I can also see that it would be difficult😭 and kinda of nerve racking ngl, like that’s how I think I would feel about it, like there is a part of me that would be excited! I just think that I would also be a little scared because who knows how it would go🧍‍♀️because like we did used to be something more but I really did enjoy that friendship and our banter so idk😭🤷‍♀️ (this is obviously still very much causing me to overthink it lol🤦‍♀️). 

AND LMAO THE WAY YOUR BF STILL TEASES YOU ABOUT IT😭 like what that’s so silly goofy of him😭 I’m glad that he’s been such a good sport about it🥺 (also how does he tease you if you don’t mind me asking?? I just find it so endearing that you guys are so open and comfortable with each other to do that😭🫶) and the hiking pics!!!! that’s so cute!!! and especially with their hands around their shoulders like🥹

(also I’m so sorry if this response feels a little incoherent or as if my thoughts were flying in all kinds of directions, I feel like my brain was put in a blender by my professors today😵‍💫) 

I hope your day went well Sel!!! and that you’re week has been going great!!! btw I’m loving the iwa brainrot on here right now😆! I was taking peeks on here throughout the day and giggling like a maniac🤭

I wish you the best weekend ever and I hope you get to rest up and enjoy some time for yourself too!!!🥺🫶💖

omg nonie hello welcome back!! 🥺 that is such a long silly title!! 😭 we can change it to ⭐️ nonie!! hehe

and of course!! aah i love listening to the stories people tell me!! esp if it's smth meaningful to them 🥹 (maybe it's the psych major in me 😭)

i get what you mean!! omg i think esp if it ended amicably, it leaves room for so many more possibilities! who knows how it would go indeed 😭 i love reading exes to lovers tropes but wouldn't know how that'd go down irl tbh 😭 you can choose not to answer this bc it might be a bit touchy, but! do you think if you were given another chance, you'd want to try again w him? or if you were to be friends again, do you think you'd still have leftover feelings?

and my bf is so silly goofy pls 😭 i think i see bits of my faves in him everyday!! (looks like iwa, kirishima + yuuji in how kind and smiley he is, atsumu + gojo in how silly n playful he is 😭, he has a bit of deku in him too from how shy he can get w strangers! it's just a whole mishmash of them! 😭) but he's honestly the best! super chill and such a good sport!!

how he teases me about it omg in some pictures where i'm beside my 'ex-thing', he says rlly jokingly while waggling his eyebrows and smiling: OOOO YOU'RE KINDA CLOSE THERE HMMM; or he'd give me a look every time 'ex-thing' is brought up in convos, almost like he's saying '~~OH OH OH YOUR EX-THING!!' so like waggling eyebrows again and smiling HAHA i always roll my eyes and push him away when he does it HAHA we've been together for a long time and started out as good friends (5 years together + 2-3 as friends!) so i think we can be a bit silly like that bc we've known each other for so long 🥹

also no worries!! omg i feel like my thoughts are scattered all over the place all the time too 😭 i hope your day in uni went well nonie!! 🥹 am gonna start baking cookies rn hihi

AND!! THE IWA BRAINROT oh my god koi's really been feeding us lately w em i can't 😭😭 pls i'm glad u're enjoying it bc i'm dYING HSDBFHAS

hope your weekend is amazing as well nonie, you are so sweet!! don't forget to rest up too!! 🥹💗

[bloodofthefates]

x. mun meme from @gloriousxdarkness​

3. How often do you reach for a synonym dictionary when writing? how about mentally?      Literally every single time I write even a sentence. While writing replies in separate documents because I’ve been burned far too many times on losing posts trying to write direct replies on tumblr, I almost always have some kind of thesaurus tab open because my brain gets so picky about alliterative word choices or better descriptive words for things and suddenly I can’t remember a single word I’ve ever learned.

5. Do you listen to music while your write?

     Abso-fuckin-lutely. There honestly isn’t much I do in life that doesn’t come with a soundtrack; I literally listen to music all the time. Writing is no different and it’s almost always thread mood related or specific character playlists. Sometimes I even combine ambient like YouTube world sounds while also playing music but sometimes it can be too overstimulating. Classical or melodical music is required some days so I don’t focus on lyrics instead of words I’m writing but like most of these answers; it all just depends on who I’m writing for or for what. 11. When you are writing a reply, how much ahead in the thread do you plan?

     Usually? Not very far. In a very Doctor Strange kind of way, I envision a lot of possible scenarios or overall outcomes of how different actions could lead to the thread going in various directions but I never make full decisions for my characters ahead of time. It’s pretty organic character choices and emotions in the moment of a reply where I feel like I’m just the conduit with no real control and whichever character I’m writing for is in the driver’s seat at the time. 

14. What do you do after you see a person has replied? Do you read it immediately, or do you wait for it to show up on the dash? Do you like it, draft it immediately, etc.?

     I am a literal kid in a candy store; I get so excited to read replies and things that people write for me whether I’m tagged in headcanons, meme replies, drabbles or whatever about our character relationships and dynamics. I’m an instant gratification bitch and read it immediately whether I’m at home on my computer or out in public on my phone. I’m reading it as soon as it is posted. If I’m on mobile, I’ll usually like the post to remember to come back to it. If I’m on my computer I usually send it to drafts right away to try and keep track of everything. I should learn to use thread trackers because I feel like I lose and forget everything all the time though it’s a really bad system lol. 19. How many drafts is a paralyzing amount?

     Lately? Apparently owing anyone anything at all is enough to send my anxiety into a tailspin because I just really struggle with creative energies when so burnt out from work and real life. I find I tend to not even want to log in even around 6-10 drafts because I can find it hard to feel like I even do a good job with a single reply in a matter of hours and it’s probably something I owed from months or years ago. I truly always feel like an awful writing partner because I’m really hard on myself for not being able to just CRANK out replies like my brain once did and that is usually pretty defeatist in itself for me.  20. If you are writing a wrong reply that’s not working out, do you save what you have to be continued at another date, or do you scrap it and rewrite?

     It depends on how mad I get with myself? I will sometimes write up incoherent lines or parts of lines I like and leave them to come back to; I generally write in a pretty stream of consciousness way and I’m not sure what that says about me. But there are more than enough times I scrap everything because I re-read it and I’m like what are you even trying to say right now you pretentious bitch? Or it just feels so bland and robotic like a first grader wrote it. I’ll delete the whole page.  24. What’s your thought process when you format? any unspoken rules you follow?

     I can’t format worth a fig. I sometimes get really overwhelmed by the graphics side of tumblr rp because so many people are so talented and proficient with fancy formatting things and I really don’t care about my own and feel really outdated and obsolete for only writing in simple text. Paragraph/grammar rules form and trying to use smaller fonts and being really plain is what allows me to just write to be able to write but there’s definitely no rules. I’ve really been trying to let myself be okay with going icon-less and JUST writing but I never know what other peoples’ judgments or perceptions are because I don’t do anything icon or graphics related. I’m pretty rudimentary? Like even carrd? Seems super cool, always get too frustrated to learn to do it myself and here we are!

[deus-ex-mona]

i thought of my family. i ✨shrivelled up inside✨

[meownotgood]

new message !! / CSM x reader

the texts they send you when you're away.

includes: aki, denji, & yoshida

genre: headcanons / fluff

note: this post is sfw, but this account contains nsfw content. please do not follow if you are a minor.

☆ AKI basically never uses his phone. He doesn't have any social media; you can coax him into installing some if you want, but he's not going to use them. If he wants to speak to you, he'll usually opt to call you rather than send a text because he prefers to hear your voice. But in situations where he can't, or when he just wants to let you know he's thinking of you, he'll send a message your way.

14:22 [ aki <3 ]: Hey.

14:25 [ aki <3 ]: I miss you.

14:29 [ aki <3 ]: Do you want to go out tonight? We can go anywhere you'd like. My treat.

Even though Aki pays little attention to his phone, if you ever text him, he's usually quick to reply. If you call him, the phone will never go more than three rings without an answer. For one, he's memorized your special ringtone (it's a song you texted to him the first time he gave you his number). And for second, you, Denji, and Power are the only ones who ever send him texts, so he knows if he gets a notification, it's probably important.

In the rare cases where he happens to miss your call though, the texts he sends immediately after are always extremely apologetic.

22:46 [ aki <3 ]: I'm sorry I missed your call.

22:48 [ aki <3 ]: Are you okay? Do you need anything?

22:51 [ aki <3 ]: Call me back when you get the chance.

Sometimes Aki sends you goofy pics of whatever mischief Denji and Power are getting up to, or pictures of Meowy when he's sleeping on Aki's lap. He also loves to send you pictures of the view from his balcony when he's having a smoke.

7:14 [ aki <3 ]: (1 image attachment)

7:17 [ aki <3 ]: The sunrise over the city is really beautiful today. I wish you were here to see it.

Aki rarely takes or sends pictures of himself. He'll take pictures with you if you ask, and if you beg to see him hard enough, maybe he'll send you a selfie. Maybe. Only after he re-takes it a thousand times to make sure it's perfect.

Aki's texts are always professional and proper, just like his demeanor. He always capitalizes his sentences, always uses correct grammar, and never uses any emojis or abbreviations. The one exception to this rule is if he's drunk. Aki tries to stay away from his phone when he's plastered, but if he manages to get his hands on it, you can expect to wake up to several incoherent drunk texts.

2:35 [ aki <3 ]: hi sweeetheartv

2:36 [ aki <3 ]: im drunk sorry

2:36 [ aki <3 ]: but I lpve u so much

2:36 [ aki <3 ]: myy anwgel

2:38 [ aki <3 ]: miss u terribly. come out 2 drink w us nextt time yeah??,

After texting you for a while, Aki developed a small habit of texting you good morning and good night. When you told him you liked it, he made certain to never forget to send you a good morning and good night text every single day. Your contact in his phone is the first thing he sees when he wakes up and the last thing he sees before he goes to bed.

23:41 [ aki <3 ]: Goodnight. Sleep well and have sweet dreams. Text me when you wake up tomorrow.

☆ DENJI asked you for your number as soon as Aki bought him a cell phone. He had absolutely no clue how to use it at first, but thankfully, you were there to teach him. And double thankfully, phones have built in autocorrect, so he doesn't have to worry about spelling everything wrong (most of the time).

Now he can talk to you whenever he wants! And boy, does Denji send you a lot of texts. If your phone is vibrating like crazy, you know it's probably Denji. He essentially uses your inbox as his way to tell you everything he's thinking at any given point.

10:34 [ denji ^^ ]: Dude at work rn SOOOO BORED

10:34 [ denji ^^ ]: I wanna hang out with u

10:34 [ denji ^^ ]: This suckkkkzzzzzzzz

10:35 [ denji ^^ ]: What are u doin?

10:36 [ denji ^^ ]: Hey check out what Power just showed me lol 8====D~~~~~~

10:36 [ denji ^^ ]: It's a dick

Once Denji figured out how to send pictures to you, he had his heart set on sending you pictures of literally everything. He sends you pics of all the stuff he comes across that he thinks you might find cool. He also sends lots of pictures of Power and Aki. Sometimes Meowy too, if he can get the cat to hold still.

They're all blurry and incomprehensible most of the time, but you suppose it's the thought that counts. Besides, you can still make them out... kinda.

18:19 [ denji ^^ ]: (1 image attachment)

18:19 [ denji ^^ ]: Shit its blurry

18:21 [ denji ^^ ]: (1 image attachment)

18:21 [ denji ^^ ]: Look dude I beat Powers ASS at mario kart

18:21 [ denji ^^ ]: You should come over and play its really fun

18:22 [ denji ^^ ]: If u want to

Of course, Denji loves when you send pictures to him, too. It's crazy to him that he can see what you're doing and where you are through his little phone screen. He saves every picture you send (after he bothered Aki to show him how), but the pictures you send of your face are his favorite. Denji will never leave you on read, so if your message says opened for a while, trust that he's just admiring your picture.

13:57 [ denji ^^ ]: CYTE

13:57 [ denji ^^ ]: CUTE

13:58 [ denji ^^ ]: I mean

13:58 [ denji ^^ ]: Your cute

14:07 [ denji ^^ ]: Hey how do I make it my background???

Denji hasn't quite figured out how to use all the features on his phone. Honestly, you're not sure he even knows what Google is. You don't really want to tell him though. You won't admit it, but you secretly like when he comes to you with every single question he has.

17:25 [ denji ^^ ]: Do u know what 12 x 7 is

17:25 [ denji ^^ ]: I dunno

17:26 [ denji ^^ ]: Aki tell me to look it up but idk how

17:32 [ denji ^^ ]: Can u come over

☆ YOSHIDA is super popular and super cool, so it took you a while to work up the courage to ask for his number. Although he gave it to you gladly, you weren't sure if he would even bother to text you after the exchange. You know he's in a ton of group chats with his classmates, and he has a lot of followers on social media. He probably didn't care to text someone unimportant like you... right?

Well, you soon found out that you were very wrong. Yoshida was waiting for this for a long time, actually. And he has no problem ignoring all of his other messages and notifications just to text you back.

15:26 [ yoshida ❀ ]: hey, you weren't in class today, what's up?

15:28 [ yoshida ❀ ]: i can come over and show you what we went over today if you want

15:29 [ yoshida ❀ ]: i'll bring iced coffee too :)

Yoshida uses the fact that you two are classmates as an excuse to text you more than necessary. He sends you pictures of the white board or last night's homework answers, even if you didn't ask for them. Somehow, he always ends up as your partner on group projects. He's just texting you a lot 'cause he wants to get to know his partner, that's all.

His favorite pass-time in class is texting you instead of paying attention. He knows he's going to ace this test anyways, and the current lecture is soooooo boring. The time will definitely go by quicker if he spends it messaging you and stealing glances at you when he can.

9:15 [ yoshida ❀ ]: im totally gonna fall asleep

9:15 [ yoshida ❀ ]: i hate this professor

9:17 [ yoshida ❀ ]: hey. look over here

9:18 [ yoshida ❀ ]: did you see me wave? :)

9:18 [ yoshida ❀ ]: your outfit today is cute btw

Yoshida is no stranger to sending you pictures of himself, too. He has a little bit of smugness about it. Yoshida knows that he's handsome and he knows that he's effortlessly photogenic, so whenever he sees a photo opportunity, he's going to take it.

18:04 [ yoshida ❀ ]: (1 image attachment)

18:06 [ yoshida ❀ ]: (1 image attachment)

18:07 [ yoshida ❀ ]: which one should i post? or which one do you like more?

18:10 [ yoshida ❀ ]: next time i see you, you should take a picture with me. i want to post a pic of the both of us. ^.^

Yoshida really enjoys texting with you, even if you end up texting back and forth late into the night, when he should be sleeping so he can get up early for school tomorrow. He's a night owl anyway, so honestly, he's fine with sacrificing on the sleep so he can talk to you. And if you call him? Even better. He could listen to your voice forever.

Speaking of, his favorite thing is sending you voice messages. It's a bit more convenient than texting, plus he knows you're a sucker for his smooth voice. He almost always sends you a voice message in the morning while he's walking to class.

7:25 [ yoshida ❀ ]: (1 voice note)

7:28 [ yoshida ❀ ]: (1 link)

7:28 [ yoshida ❀ ]: here's the playlist i was talking about in that voice message

7:29 [ yoshida ❀ ]: give it a listen when you can, i think you'll like it <3

[peterman-spideyparker]

Domestic Adonis (Steven Grant x Reader)

Author’s Note: I mean really, this fic kinda came about because I couldn’t get this gif out of my head and wanted a way to use it somehow. He just looks so damn fine and Daddyᵀᴹ (I literally hate that I just said that but there is no other way I can put it) therefore proves I’m a slut so🫣🤷🏻‍♀️ C’est la vie, non? And we just love to see Steven confident, comfortable, and adventurous😏Enjoy! :)

Summary: Steven gets some new reading glasses that make your heart skip a beat and make you think of something. One night in bed as the two of you read, you voice this opinion to him. When you get back from a work trip one week later, boy are you in for a treat.

Warnings: Fluff, smut (doesn’t the gif say it all? LOL. Oral–f/m!receiving, penetrative), swearing, mentions of babies

Other Characters: Marc Spector (It’s a primarily Steven x Reader fic, so where Marc does make an appearance and it is a Steven x Reader x Marc kinda deal, but where he’s just there for a bit is why I’m classifying Marc as an “other character”)

Word Count: 3,058

You honestly don’t know how long you’ve been staring at Steven. You usually sneak glances when you read together before bed. The face of concentration that he has as he reads makes your heart flutter—a mix of contentment and fierce interest. Steven usually sneaks glances at you when he hits a section break or a new chapter, and you can’t help but blush when you both look over at the same time. You love seeing him and knowing that he has chosen you just as much as you have chosen him, and you’re positive that Steven feels the same.

And his glasses. You love his readers. The rectangular specks make him adorable, but he got new glasses, and it has been putting dirty images in your mind since. You don’t know what it is about those specs, but you simply cannot stop looking at your boyfriend of two years.

“What are you thinkin’ about, love?” he says with a small smile as he pulls his attention from the pages in his book to you, his chocolate eyes sparkling in the moonlight that comes in through the window, the beams clashing with the warm lamplight. Incoherent sounds escape your lips. How do you tell him what you’re thinking without sounding like you’ve always wanted it? Because it isn’t true. It’s just with the curls of his hair, the vibe of the new glasses . . .

“You,” you hum simply.

He gives you a tired smile. “Anythin’ beyond that?”

You shrug. “Don’t get mad?” you ask.

“At you? I don’t think I could, but, okay.”

“Have you ever thought about growing a beard?”

“What?” he asks with a lithe chuckle. “A beard?”

“See? Silly question,” you say, trying to return to your book. “Forget it.”

“Hey, hey, stop,” he continues to chuckle, pushing down your novel by its spine. “You think I could pull one off?”

“You don’t think you could pull one off?”

“Not without lookin’ like a ragamuffin, I don't.”

“I don’t know. I was just thinking, I mean, you have great hair on your head all pretty curly like that, and the, uh, t-the glasses . . .” you trail off, swallowing hard and providing him with a gentle shrug. “It could work, that’s all.”

He gives you a soft smile. “I’ll talk with Marc about it. It’s his face too, after all.”

“No, really baby. You don’t have to—It was stupid of me—.”

Steven plants a kiss straight in the middle of your cheek and then on your lips.

“Nothin’ that could ever come out of your mind or mouth is stupid,” he tenderly chastises. “Just different, that’s all. And sometimes, different is bloody brilliant.” He dog ears his page and places his book on the nightstand. “Now, I don’t mean to change the subject, but since your flight leaves while I’m at work tomorrow, I want to make sure my girl’s got everythin’ she needs. I know you have clothes and shoes and jammies since I helped you pack all that earlier, but you have your computer?”

“In my crossbody by my luggage."

“Brilliant. Passport and ticket?”

“In my center purse pouch, all zipped.”

“And your phone is chargin’?”

“Affirmative, captain.”

“Jacket?”

“By the door.”

“Well, that’s all I can think of.”

“Well, I can think of one more thing. I’m going the need . . .” you purse your lips to the side and playfully tap your chin. “Eight kisses from you before you leave tomorrow morning.”

“Eight?” he beams.

“Eight,” you confirm.

“That many might get you somethin’ a little more than you hope for, love.”

“It’ll just be a bonus, then,” you smile. “Unless, you want to preemptively secure that bonus now?”

“You see, as much as I would love that—and I really, really would—I feel if we do that tonight or tomorrow, I’ll only miss you more when you go.”

You look at him with nothing but adoration. “You are just too sweet. I swear, one day, you’re gonna give me a cavity.”

“I’d hate myself if I ruined that smile of yours,” he says with a playful smirk.

You can only smile at Steven as you pull him down for a kiss, moving your head to rest on his chest afterward as you each resume you reading until you both fall asleep.

“Hi hon!” you greet as you push the apartment door open.

“You’re back early!” you hear Steven call from the kitchen, something sizzling in a pan.

“Yeah, well, turns out all the flight switches from the airline worked out in my favor,” you tell him as you put your luggage next to the table by the door and hang your coat up. When you see Steven, you lose all control of your mouth. It hangs open with a shocked, Cheshire Cat smile as you look at your boyfriend. He stands there in the living room, wiping his hands on a cloth towel with his hair slightly disheveled and a luscious beard on his jaw. He looks like a domestic Adonis. It takes all of your willpower not to rush over to him in this moment and jump his bones. Holy shit.

“Surprise!” he says.

“Oh my,” you giggle as your cheeks begin to hurt from smiling so big. “I didn’t think I was gone for that long.”

“This is almost a week’s worth of me not shavin’,” he blushes. “Do you like it?”

“Oh wow,” you repeat as you move towards your boyfriend. “Do I like it? You look so handsome! I mean, you always did but . . . Well, I mean, do you like it? It’s on your face!”

“It’ll take some gettin’ used to, but, it does make me look quite distinguished, don’t it?”

“Can you . . .” The words catch in your throat as you feel a blush and heat spread throughout your entire body.

“Can I what, love?”

“Can you put on your reading glasses for me?” you ask sheepishly.

His brows furrow momentarily as the corner of his mouth pulls into a confused grin before he moves over to the desk and slides them on.

Boom. Right there. Panties flooded. 

Steven was always undeniably sexy to you, but seeing him like this elevates him into another category of hotness. He looks like an older, sexy professor that everyone has the hots for.

“Just give me—,” you say as you hold up a finger, turning around briefly so you can let out a silent scream before you turn back to him, more composed this time.

“You know I saw that in the mirror, right?” he chuckles.

“I’m sorry, but this is really doing something to me and for me,” you breathe, still stunned at his appearance.

“Ooh,” he coos as he walks over to you with a spring in his step, placing his hands on you waist. “Someone is in a cheeky, saucy mood, isn’t she?”

“Uh, she was before she came home and now she really is,” you nod, draping your arms across his shoulders. Steven leans down for a kiss, and it sends your head into a spin. You knew the beard would probably tickle, but you are slightly taken aback at how soft the hairs are. You moan into his mouth and do what you can to deepen the kiss. Steven’s hands roam down your sides and squeeze the flesh of your hips. Your fingers comb through his long hair and tug at the roots, your body needing to get as much of Steven near you as possible. He grunts as your noses smush together and his hands move up your torso, scrunching up the cotton of your sweater in the process, the cool London air in the apartment tickling your skin. Steven’s fingertips graze the band of your bra, teasing you as you embrace and act on your desires.

“Mm,” you moan, your fingernails raking against his scalp. Put a baby in me.

After a beat, Steven’s hands unbunch the fabric of your sweater, pulling a whimper from your lips as he moves away.

“Is something burning?” you ask, trying to glance over to the range. You completely forgot he was cooking—he must smell something you don’t.

“No, no,” he says, his fingers gently pushing your gaze back toward him. “What did you just say?”

“If something was burning?”

“No, before that.”

“I don’t know. What did I say?” you ask genuinely.

“You said ‘Put a baby in me.’”

You look at him with wide eyes. “I said that out loud?”

“You didn’t mean to say it?”

“Um, not out loud, no,” you blush profusely. “I mean, I’ve thought about it, but, we haven’t really talked about it seriously or in-depth about it past the ‘Our kids would be so cute’ or ‘I want our kids to have your eyes’ stage. Marc and I haven’t really talked about it, either.”

Steven looks at you so tenderly you could fall apart. “I want to have a family with you,” he says softly. He looks over to the mirror, letting out a breathy chuckle as he grins and nods. “So does Marc. But we both agree that the beard might have made you a bit loopy and want to know if you’d be okay with delayin’ that for the moment.”

You smile and nod, bringing your lips back to his for a tender kiss. “Yeah, we can do that part later. When we talk about it more and decide if and yes, I’ll get off the pill and we can go from there.”

“Yeah,” he says warmly. “Yeah, we’d love that.”

“But, until then, uh, I do think you should turn off the stove and come to the bedroom.” You create some space between you as you remove your shirt. “The seats on the plane were really uncomfortable, and I have knots all over my body that need to be worked out.”

Steven’s eyes light up. He moves so fast across the apartment, you’re afraid he’s going to crash straight on his face. As Steven rushes back to you, his hands snatch your waist and lift you up and onto the mattress, his body serving like a cage has he hovers over you. You slip off his glasses and put them on the nightstand before his lips attach to the sweet spot on your neck, eliciting a moan from you. Not only does he know what that spot does to you regularly, but the sensation of his beard drives you wild as the hairs scrape against your skin. 

Like well-rehearsed actors in a play, you shed each other of your clothes, your hands caressing each other’s body while Steven’s lips take extra liberties along your skin.

“I missed you, too,” you breathe as Steven’s lips latch onto your breasts, worshiping the supple, fatty flesh. You squeak as his teeth nip at the sensitive skin, giving each boob careful and devoted attention before his lips place sloppy, wet kisses down your stomach. Steven spreads your legs open, places alternating, lingering kisses on the inner flesh of your thighs before he reaches your middle.

“Tap my hand if it feels uncomfortable, alright?” he tells you.

“I promise,” you affirm.

You take a sharp breath in as his tongue licks along your folds before his lips capture your throbbing nub as he sucks on it. The beard isn’t as uncomfortable as Steven probably anticipated—his hair is just so soft, it feels nice and plush, ticklish at most. Your body is too focused on other sensations to process the tickle, as your hips squirm at the movements of his mouth. The way that Steven moves from increasing his pace to slowing it down makes your head spin, and he leaves you on edge the entire time, pressing one fat kiss on your throbbing clit as he moves away.

“Oh, damn,” you chuckle breathlessly as he slides up from between your legs, the evidence of my extreme arousal glistening in his beard. Just as you think he’s hovering over your body to kiss you and let you taste your arousal, he flips you over, his hands on your hips as he guides your ass into the air.

“Steven!” you giggle, completely surprised by the action.

“I’m trying somethin’ a bit different tonight, love,” he tells you, and you can hear the smile in his voice. Steven leans down over your back, kissing a line right down your spine from your neck to your tailbone. You can hear him drag his hand across his mouth moments before you feel the tip of his cock press against your entrance.

“Ah,” you moan as he begins to press into you from behind. Every inch he puts in feels better than the last, and once he has bottomed out, he leans forward and peppers kisses all along your back and your shoulder blades.

“You look so lovely from this angle,” he praises, his hot breath and beard sending goosebumps all over your body. “So beautiful.”

“Steven,” you groan as he begins to rock into your body. “Oh my God.”

“Oh wow,” he pants, finding a steady rhythm. “Oh wow, you feel so good like this. Oh, you’re gonna be the death of me, love.”

His hands gently caress your waist, hips, and rear, unsure of where they should settle. Steven surprises you, keeping his left hand just above your hip bone as the other one gathers your hair in his fist. The slight yank at the roots of your hair is encouraging, causing you to tilt your head back just enough to arch your back and feel Steven in a new way. He must feel it too, because the groan that escapes his mouth is purely carnal. Letting go of your hair, he wraps an arm right under your bouncing breasts and lifts you up so your back is flush against his chest and he has access to the skin of your neck.

“Oh, Steven, yes,” you breathe, straining your neck to kiss whatever skin of his face you can find. “Right there.” The phrase turns into a chant, a chant into a prayer. With each utterance, he manages to hit deeper into you, and you relish the sensation. Sneaking his fingers down to your front, two of his fingers find your clit and begin rubbing tight circles over the bundle of nerves. You let out a high pitched moan as he kisses your shoulder. “Steven, I want to see your face. Please, baby, I want to see you when I come.”

Steven moves his kisses up your body until his lips hover just over your ear. 

“I’m gonna lie you down, okay, love?” he whispers.

You pant as you give him sort, quick nods. He pulls out and you feel empty, your body aching for Steven. He carefully puts you on the mattress, spreading your legs wide as he lines himself up to your entrance. He doesn’t push as slowly in you as he did the first time, but slow enough so he can admire how you look below him. One of his hands caresses your cheek, and you turn your face into it to press a kiss to his palm. Your moans harmonize as he bottoms out in you once more, leaning down to kiss you and rest his forehead against yours as he resumes the pace from the position on his knees. His hand slips in between your bodies, the pads of his fingers once more finding your clit and giving it a good rubbing. With Steven touching you like this, looking at you with nothing but tenderness in his eyes, and him looking like something straight from a fantasy is enough as you feel the band snap in your stomach, allowing you to come around him while he thrusts. Your grip and erotic cries encourage him to move faster towards his own release, and he continues to pound into you as far as he can as he finishes. You both stay like this catching your breath, how you always do after you find your release with one another. 

“I missed you so much,” he hums punctuating each word with a kiss.

“I missed you more,” you counter, pressing a long kiss to his plush lips.

Steven chases another kiss, a hand holding the side of your face to keep you there as he slides out and lies next to you.

“So, what do you think?” he asks, still panting slightly. “Is the beard here to stay?”

“If you want it to. The change is exciting, but I think I’ll miss that smooth jaw of yours eventually.” Steven presses a kiss to the juncture of your neck and jaw. “Although, if Donna ever gets that stick out of her ass and promotes you to tour guide, you might need to keep it. You ooze sexy academia right now.”

“Oh, is that it?” Steven laughs. 

“Mm, yeah,” you confirm. “You look so wise and smart and sexy and smart.”

“You said smart twice."

“Because you are. And I would have said sexy more than once, but I think by virtue of me being naked in your bed in your arms gets that point across pretty well.”

The smile that pulls on Steven’s face makes the corners of his eyes crinkle. Every time you think you can’t fall more in love with this man, he proves you wrong with things like this.

“I love you,” you tell him. “So much.”

“I love you, too,” he hums kissing you neck as he sharply inhales. “I second that motion.” Marc.

“Hi,” you chuckle as he continues to press kisses on your skin. “I love you, too.”

“Mm, I’m feeling a little more needy than that,” he whispers, and you can hear the smirk in his voice, dragging his beard along your skin in a way that he knows gives you goosebumps. “Did Steven tucker you out?”

You look over at his face, brushing the tip of your nose against his. 

“It’d be rude to reject the welcome wagon, wouldn’t it? Especially when it looks has handsome as my men do.”

Marc smiles briefly before his lips attach to yours, and the way that his hands grip onto your waist let you know that the welcome wagon will be making several stops with Steven and Marc as the conductors.

Permanent Taglist: @majesticavenger​​​​​​​​​ @steampowerednightvaler​​​​​​​​​​ @themusingsofmany​​​​​​​​​​ @just-the-hiddles​​​​​​​​​​ @toozmanykids​​​​​​​ @dangertoozmanykids101​​​​​​ @clints-worldavengers

[kelieah]

four eyes (peter parker x reader)

summary: peter starts wearing his glasses again and you reassure him that he still looks amazing

word count: 0.9k

warnings: this is a repost! (with a shit ton of editing) but this fic will officially be considered a blurb and no longer a drabble. fluff, language, suggestive content

author's note: am i falling for andrew peter all over again? yes, yes i am. also see what i did there w the summary? amazing? eh? eh? lol ok so moving on

peter parker masterlist

You begin to hear your dorm room door unlocking and jump at the slam from it swinging wide open. You let out a sigh of relief and relax at the sight of your boyfriend, who you now can see is very upset. "Peter? What's wrong?" you stand up from your desk.

Before you could take another step, he rushes towards you and basically tackles you onto your bed. You yelp at the sudden impact and try your best to keep the two of you standing, but fail as you both fall backward. "Worst day ever, baby," he groans and stuffs his face into your neck.

"Talk to me," you chuckle and squirm a bit beneath his heavy frame. He notices this and props himself up so that he's hovering above you, making sure you're comfortable. "But close the door please," you say while kissing the shell of his ear.

He huffs and sticks his arm out, webbing the door closed without having to look. You would say you're surprised that he's wearing his web-shooters but you're not. Knowing him and his itch to always suit up, he probably wears it twenty-four seven.

"Stupid, doctor," he groans and stuffs his face into your neck, letting out a string of incoherent complaints.

"Woah, what? I thought you loved Dr. Blanchett?" you reach up towards his hair and tangle your fingers through his messy, soft hair.

"I do, I do. It's just today I had my regular check-up and now I have to get fucking glasses again. It's giving me war flashbacks," he drags out his words and dramatically shudders. He props himself up higher and places his hands on both sides of your face to pout down at you.

You look up at him and giggle at his puppy dog expression, "That's why you're upset?"

"Uh, yeah? Remember Flash, babe? Four eyes this, four eyes that, all of high school and he never shut up about it. I'll never forget when he took my glasses during gym while I was running and then I ran into you because I couldn't see and then I literally crushed you and then you fucking broke your ankle!" he rambles all in one breath and exhales loudly at the end of his sentence.

"You done?" you smirk.

He rolls his eyes and stares at you with eyes full of frustration. "Yes."

"Oh, you poor thing," you coo and reach up to cup his chin. He blushes at your sudden change of demeanor but smiles when you lean up to peck his lips. "But, look at where that got us now," you hum.

"I know, I know. I'm forever grateful," he sighs and leans down to return your previous kiss. You gladly reciprocate and cherish the short peck. "But not for all the, you know."

"Yea, I know," you repeat his own words and sit up, pushing him aside for him to sit next to you.

"I really hate wearing glasses," he mutters while obliging to your actions. He adjusts to sit beside you and leans his head on your shoulder.

"Then wear contacts," you suggest as you intertwine your fingers with his. He squeezes your hand in his and caresses your skin, loving how it feels against his own rough palms.

"But I always forget to put them in so she told me to get glasses."

"Well, then..."

"I'm fucked."

"If it makes you feel any better... I find you very sexy with glasses," you turn your head and whisper into his ear.

"Oh, yeah?" he tilts his head and raises an eyebrow at you.

You glance back at him and almost shudder at his words. You nod slowly to emphasize your statement, "Seriously. It's super hot. Like you're some young professor that everyone has a crush on, hot. Especially when you wear those oversized sweaters, Pete. Oh, fuck," you moan obnoxiously to tease him and fall back onto your bed, draping a hand over your forehead for the dramatics.

"Stoooop," he laughs and puts his face into his hands to hide his incoming blush. "You're just kissing my ass, trying to make me feel better about wearing glasses," he grumbles and peaks at you through his fingers.

"Nope, I've always loved it when you wore glasses. With or without, you're gorgeous."

"Now my ego is growing," he breathes out and lies back down too, turning to face you.

You go silent for a moment and squint your eyes as if you're listening for something. You then nod to confirm. "I know, I can basically hear it."

"Shut up," he chuckles and shakes his head.

You gasp playfully and quickly avert your eyes over toward his lap, "Wait. That's not the only thing growing."

"Fuck off," he pushes you away jokingly and crosses his arms. You snicker and get up, beginning to walk back to your desk since he implied for you leave. "I didn't mean go away," he huffed and webbed you back to your bed. He spins you toward him and has you stand between his legs, his hands now resting on your hips.

"You're hot, got it?" you grin and look down at him.

His lips curl into a sly smile from the confidence behind your question. He nods and keeps his eyes on yours, "Got it."

"Good. Now, you have nothing to worry about, Professor Parker," you place your hands on his shoulders and give them a firm squeeze. "Hey... Professor?" you whisper.

He feels shivers run down his back from your alluring voice, "Yes?"

"Could you help me with my anatomy homework?" you ask with a hint of obliviousness and look down at him with a gaze he knows all too well about.

"Huh? I didn't know you take anatomy..." he mutters and furrows his eyebrows from being confused. You roll your eyes and give him a look. "Oh. Oh. Shit— Sorry— Fuck— Yes, of course, miss."

thanks for reading, let me know what you think!

tagging some mutuals! @celestialholland @parkerpeter24 @selfcarecap @devotion @darlingholland @asonofpeter @supremethunda @ptersmj @veryholland @bi-lmg07 @petershbw @peterbenjiparker @petersgroupie @ms-misery @vendettaparker @saturnpeter @spideyspeaches @watersofmars @stqrrysam @powerpuffluuvv @secretjeon @mischiefmanaged71 @justanotherdaydreamersoul

[goldentsum]

━ pretty submissives pt. 2

CHARACTERS: tsukishima kei, kageyama tobio, oikawa tooru, kuroo tetsurou

WARNINGS: smut, 18+ content, sub! males, dom! reader, bdsm, sex toys, whiny subs, bratty subs, bondage, oral sex, handjobs, ass play (male), pet play, age play, mistress kink, mommy kink, guided masturbation, voyeurism

AUTHOR’S NOTE: lol tis filthyyy <3 i am hiding my pain away with smut stfu- dont @ me wanting to cry but wrote porn instead- unedited bleggh

part 1 - miya twins, sakusa, suna

— tsukishima ♡

• this brat likes testing your patience! tsukki may go subby but he won’t go down without a fight. that way it hurts his pride less-- 

• one time, he really tried to take back some dominance from you but you started degrading him and smacking his face.. he came in less than a minute.

• and that’s how you both knew tsukki was a masochist 

• put him back in his place and humiliate him! it may hurt his pride but the hard on between his legs says that he likes it--

• seeing the tall and prideful man on all fours with a tight leash on his neck and a mussel to stop that snarky mouth of his is feeding dangerously on your dom side

• tsukki would try and degrade you but when you snap back, he’ll get teary-- baby would try to serve some sadist type of shit on you but if you do the same to him, he’ll cry

• play and bite his lips until its all raw and red, he likes it. though, he’ll complain about it afterwards as if he wasn’t moaning like a whore just earlier. 

you smirked at the weak glare the man sent you. tsukishima was sitting on his legs, hands neatly on his lap. the strong act he tried to maintain before was going down hill and it was amusing. you snickered and you caressed his aching cock with your feet making him gasp and kneel over but you tugged on the leash, almost sending him on all fours. 

“didn’t i told you to keep your eyes on me, whore” you growled, a teasing smirk on your red lips. oh how tsukishima wants to wipe that arrogant smirk off your lips. he furrowed his brows and went back to his previous spot with small pants escaping him. 

you noticed the way he pursed his lips and tugged on the leash again, choking the man before you, “you have something to say to me, puppy?” 

tsukishima bit his tongue at that and shook his head, though he was beyond pissed at your prideful and arrogant play, he can’t really deny the arousal that was slowly beading on his cock. 

your smirk fell and you gripped his chin, “use your words. do you not want to talk? do i have to get your mussel, pup?” 

tsukishima’s breath hitched at the mention of the damn mussel, his cock twitching against his stomach. “n-no, mistress..” 

you hummed in satisfaction and leaned back a bit, admiring his nude body on display just for you. you licked your lips when his long cock caught your eye, the head was red and leaking with precum already even though you barely touched him. 

“you like this, tsukki?~ look at how hard you are” you teased, pulling the leash once again as the tall man was forced into your arms. tsukishima yelped and tried to steady himself by supporting himself on your arms. 

you sneaked a hand between his legs, caressing his cock. the blond closed his eyes tightly, gasping against your chest as you played with his body. 

stroking his cock with an amused smirk, you tipped his chin towards you. your darkened eyes stared into embarrassed and teary golden orbs. you squeezed his length, coating his dick with the precum that leaked out. tsukishima moaned and tried to close his eyes again but you weren’t having none of that. 

you halted your actions on his cock and slapped him lightly on his cheek, gentle enough to not hurt as much but strong enough to get him to pay attention to you. “none of that, pup. look at me. look at how your slutty body gets off with such dirty acts~” 

— kageyama ♡

• he’s a little :>>

• kageyama has an oral fixation, he likes using his mouth whether that’s on your fingers, nipples, or your clit-

• if you have a nipple piercing, baby boy would be in complete awe! he thinks it looks super good! or even if you wear rings! he likes the feeling of the metal on his tongue. 

• pretty boy looks good when he sucks on your fingers, that slick tongue swirling around your digits, coating them with thick spit. he gets super red and needy while he does it too! he looks at you with half lidded eyes, moaning around your fingers. 

• baby doesn’t even know his cock is getting hard while he plays with your fingers.

• please take care of him </3 he gets super anxious if you don’t say anything, kageyama feels like he did something wrong so reassure this baby!

• buy him toys and stuffies! it makes him really happy and shy~ <3 

• also not @ that one time where you caught him humping one of his teddy bears-- 

“now what do we have here?~” your voice cut through kageyama’s series of needy moans making him yelp and stop his constant humping. his ears turned red at the fact that you caught him doing such impure act. 

“m-mommy--” he sniffled, tears welling up on his pretty blue eyes. kageyama turned to you, a pout on his lips. he didn’t want you to think you weren’t taking good care of him cus you are! he was just feeling so needy today and you had to go to work. 

kageyama really tried to control his urges but the more he tried to ignore it, the more it intensifies as every shift of his hips made him more sensitive. 

you shook your head playfully at that and closed the bedroom behind you, stalking slowly towards the trembling man. he slumped on the stuffie and tried to reason but he was just babbling incoherent words. you hummed at his chattering and run a hand through his hair, wiping the sweat on his forehead. 

“is my baby feeling needy?” you cooed, you bit your lips at the beautiful sight. your boyfriend is so fucking beautiful. cheeks all red, eyes teary with tears of frustration of not getting to cum and sensitivity. your hand lowered down to his cheek, stroking the warm skin. 

your eyes darkened when your fingers trailed down to his lips and instinctively, kageyama opened his mouth, already licking the tip of your fingers. the dark-haired male whined around your digits when you started playing with his tongue, thrusting it in his mouth. 

“words, baby boy” kageyama’s eyes rolled back at your tone, moaning loudly. he opened his eyes and looked straight at you, lips trembling around your fingers. 

“p-pwease helph meh, mwommy” he babbled, slurring his words as he still tried to lick your digits.

“atta boy~ don’t worry, mommy will help you cum~” you cooed, removing your fingers out of his mouth and trailed down his stomach, feeling the flexing muscles, then towards his aching cock. you coated his length with his spit, thumbing the swollen tip. 

kageyama gasped and his hips moved at the sudden contact. you smirked down at him slightly as he held your wrist, though not really stopping you just something to ground him. “let’s hear those pretty moans, baby boy~” 

— oikawa ♡

• a wholeass confident sub. he knows he’s a good sub and he takes pride on that

• you can’t even reprimand him cus he follows your rules to the t. so headpats and cuddles for tooru pls <3

• though he follows your rules, oikawa doesn’t really pay attention to his body and it’s limits. all he knows is that he wants to make you proud and feel good. 

• so please take the time to appreciate his body, praise him. yes, he gets compliments all the time but when it’s coming from you and in that moment? it just feels so intimate that he’ll cry.

• kiss his skin, caress his body. make him feel loved and he’s all yours. <3 

• when he gets too into the play, he really forgets everything else but you. so what better way to stop and slow down than make him show you how he pleasure himself <3

• tooru doesn’t really masturbate all that much so he’s a little clumsy so guide him through it <3 HE GETS REALLY SHY TOO

• when you stare at him like that, admiring his body, praising him, telling him how much of a good boy he is, how beautiful he is? oikawa’s offering you his heart pls take care of it :((

you smiled at oikawa, his breath ragged with every slow stroke he does as he massaged his cock. your eyes trailed up and down his body, admiring the way he arch his back and the way his thighs trembles. 

“slowly, baby~ you don’t wanna ruin your orgasm now do you?” you said, leaning back on your legs on the mattress, getting a good view of his cock and his stroking. 

oikawa whined, eyebrows furrowed. the slow build-up once again was making him impatient and it was getting to him. he wants to cum so bad, you denied him a couple of his orgasms already. he hic-ed, feeling his tears trail down his red cheeks. 

you cooed at the sight and leaned closer to him, hovering above him. oikawa gasped at the slight contact of your clothed body on his heated skin. he removed his hands away from his cock and wrapped his arms around you. 

letting a hand caress his cheek, wiping the tear away. you let out soft praises on his forehead, kissing it several times as you do so. oikawa sniffled, biting his lips as he savor your affection. he was always a sucker for it, always the soft boy with a big heart 

“p-please... i want to cum” oikawa whispered, lips quivering as he wet it with his tongue. he gasped when he felt your hands on his cock. you grinned at him then went back to your previous position between his legs. 

you blew air into his cock making the man whimper on the bed, writhing around trying to make you move. you snickered at the pout he sent your way. 

“such a pretty baby, you are tooru~” you complimented and before he can say anything, you took him in your mouth in one go. oikawa choked on air at the feeling of your warm and wet mouth around his sensitive cock. 

oikawa moaned when you swiped your tongue on the red tip, swallowing his length as you bob your head. 

he gripped the blankets beneath him, eyes rolling back. you removed your mouth off him, jerking his length. “wanna cum, baby?” 

he sobbed and nodded his head frantically, feeling the band on his lower stomach threatening to snap once again as he pray that you would let him cum this time. “p-please! i want to cum! need it! it hurts!” he cried

you grinned and took him into your mouth again, moving faster. the pretty male gasped and his hips started jerking making you gag on his length. his eyes rolled back to his skull at the feeling of your throat tightening around him, his mouth wide open as he released several loud moans. 

you sneaked a hand to his balls, massaging it. your tongue traced the prominent vein on his cock and oikawa keened at that and came with a loud broken moan. you hummed in satisfaction and continued to bob your head, your hand jerking the rest of his cock. 

you lapped at the thick cum he released, slurping it up as he shivered and sobbed at the sensitivity. “t-thank you.... thank y-you” 

— kuroo ♡

• okay some of you may think he’s all dom and won’t sub but you’re forgetting something... he’s a simp. he would do anything for you! also, kuroo thrives for your attention!

•  he loves hard shit! i know it! bdsm, toys, bondage? perfecttt!! <3 

• kuroo tried pegging once and now he’s addicted! fuck his ass while you degrade him is his go to to de-stress 

• make him cum several times until he can’t feel his cock anymore. he loves the pain it brings. the sting. the sensitivity. 

• also because of the fact he screams and cries.. so his voice goes all raspy and his throat is scratchy

• choke him. collar him. he will propose to you <3 KSKSKS

• but after all that bdsm shit, please take care of his tired body. aftercare is a must for this baby or he’ll be so detached after. kiss his bruises. kiss his swollen and red lips. mutter sweet nothings to him. tell him how much you love him and he’ll sleep with a tired but soft smile on his face

“yes... yes, moreee. m-moree” kuroo chanted against your pussy, eating you out like a starved man. he groaned against your wet cunt, tongue swiping at your slit as he tasted you. his hands were on your thighs, pushing them together so he can feel your thick thighs against his face. 

he gripped your thighs, moaning like a bitch in heat. he slurped at your essence, eyes rolling back at your taste. his hips moving unconsciously. you moaned, caressing his hair, as you looked down at his fucked out expression with a smirk. 

“such a dirty boy~” you snickered when kuroo moaned lewdly at your words, his eyes rolling back to his head as his mouth worked on your cunt faster. he wiggled his tongue inside you, licking your gummy walls. 

“ahh.. fuck, tetsu” you moaned softly which only urged him to work on your pussy harder. you chuckled breathlessly at his eagerness as you turned your head a bit. you looked at his twitching cock. 

you put the cock ring earlier but the man was still leaking precum everywhere. his cock was so beautiful. thick and long, the tip red and swollen. you grinned and moved away from tetsu’s mouth. 

you heard the man whined at the lost of contact. you faced toward his shaking thighs and sat on his stomach as you turned your head back to look at him. god, he looks so pretty~ 

kuroo was panting, chest heaving heavily. his lower face was covered with your wetness as he constantly licked his lips. his eyes blown wide with lust. 

you smirked at him and touched his cock, snickering when the touch made him whimpered as he arched on the bed. paying no mind to his senseless babbling, you lowered yourself to his cock, using his trembling thighs to support yourself.

kuroo’s eyes rolled back to his head at the way your wet and gummy wall clung to his sensitive length and it was enough to make him cum but the cock ring was preventing him from doing so. 

he looked at you with teary eyes, eyebrows furrowed. you smirked and then face forward to reached for the dildo beside you, slowly inserting it into his prepped ass which earned you a husky groan. “make me cum and i’ll think about it if you deserve to cum as well~” you cooed.

kuroo cried when you started moving, your pussy clenching tightly around his dick, while your hands thrust the thick dildo in his ass, prodding his prostate. his hands flew to your hips, his half-lidded eyes watching your ass bounce in front of him, “f-fuck!” 

[24hlevi]

Insomnia

Jinx (Arcane/LOL) X Gn!Reader

Genre: Angst

Summary: Jinx has nightmares quite often, that's why you're there to help ease her back to sleep, until the day you weren't.

Warnings: Language, Spoilers for ep 7+

Word Count: 3.5k

happy new year everyone here's some angst

reposting this since it wasn't showing up in tags

It wasn't rare for Jinx to awaken in the middle of the night due to nightmares that would constantly come and go every time she went to sleep. The memories of what she did to her family left quite the mark on the girl, and it was clear that those past events are what haunted her the most. Sometimes she would wake up with tears on her face and she wouldn't even realize them until she touches her cheek and feels the tear falling down it. 

Before you came into her life, Jinx had no one to rely on or run to when these nightmares happened, and she would have to cope with it by herself which was incredibly hard for the girl. This is why she is so deeply grateful to have you with her for nights like these.

Jinx woke up with a startled gasp, her body shooting up into a sitting position as she looked around, trying to figure out if she was awake and back in the real world again. She soon enough realized she indeed, was back in the real world as she looked to her side to see you sleeping peacefully, making her frown at how easy it was for you to fall and stay asleep for as long as needed without nightmares waking you up and scaring yourself from going back to sleep. 

“Y/n.” Jinx whispered to you.

When you didn't respond nor move, the blue-haired girl sighed and leaned closer to you and poked you, “Y/n.” she spoke a bit louder now.

You stirred around before groggily opening your eyes and seeing Jinx sitting up staring down at you.”Jinx? What's wrong?” You asked her tiredly.

She didn't answer you, but when you opened your eyes fully you could see the tear marks on her face and how her whole frame was shaking. You opened your arms out for her to crawl into as you gave her a small smile, “Come here.” 

Jinx laid back down and crawled into your embrace, feeling your arms wrap around her making a warm feeling go through her entire body. Your legs tangled with hers as you looked down at her before quietly asking, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“It was just the usual,” Jinx answered in the same voice level. She had explained to you before the causes of her nightmares and what she did, which is why she wasn't bothered with talking to you about it, even if it was only a few words before she needed to be distracted by something else to forget about it. 

You kissed her head and rubbed her back gently as you spoke again, “It's okay, remember that you're safe here. I’ll always keep you safe.”

There were a few moments of silence until Jinx nuzzled her face into her neck, mumbling out incoherent words.

“What?” You asked, not being able to hear what she had said.

“Can you promise me something?” She whispered barely loud enough for you to understand. 

Your eyebrows furrowed together in confusion but you answered with, “Of course.”

“Promise me that you won't leave me, please.” She was so quiet that you could hardly hear it but you did, and it made you feel terrible.

“I promise I’ll never leave you, not for anyone or anything. I love you so much, and nothing will ever change that, I’m sure of it. Nothing bad will happen to you, I swear.” You told her.

You could feel her tighten her arms around you as if you were going to leave her and wet droplets hit your neck. You soon realized that Jinx was crying and you held her closer to the point where the two of you were completely touching as you whispered quietly to her, “It's okay, please don't cry. I didn't mean to make you cry, I’m sorry.”

Jinx pulled her face away from her neck and looked up at you with teary eyes, making you use your thumb to wipe away the fallen tears that were running down her face. “I love you.” She said to you before leaning in and slowly pressing her lips against yours. 

When she pulled away a split second later, you smiled at her and kissed her forehead, “I love you too. Now can we please go back to sleep? We still have to get up early tomorrow.” You released a light chuckle at the end.

“Yeah.” Jinx nodded, smiling back at you and then going back into her previous position where your arms wrapped around to hold her as she could feel herself finally relax after not being able to for so long. She could only fully relax when she was alone with you, with no one else to come and bother her or interrupt with no care. You were her safe haven, a person to go to when she was struggling and had no one else to go to, someone who truly cared about her well-being and didn't care about what she did or has done previously in her life, someone who loved her.

Jinx would always be so grateful to have you in her life, and she doesn't know how badly she would end up if you were taken away from her. But you both know that it would be bad enough to cause many people's lives to be lost because you were the most important thing to her, no one else topped you or beat you in whom she loved and cared for. It was always you, and that would never change. Not until the day that you two would be separated eventually, and who knows how long that might take. It might be tomorrow or many years away. But that didn't matter. Because Jinx made sure to cherish every moment that she had with you because she of all people would know how bad it feels to be abandoned, lost, and alone with no one to depend on. 

That's why Jinx always made sure to be with you no

matter what, even if it could get her killed in the end. 

That was until her worst possible fear came true.

Losing you.

You knew that when Vi reappeared, it was going to cause a lot of problems when Jinx would eventually find out. That's why you made sure to never let your girlfriend out of your vision, because you never knew when or how she would find out that her sister was actually alive after all these years and that Silco never told her even though he, too, didn't know. 

Silco had told you that Vi, Jinx’s sister, was alive as soon as he found out and he explained how bad this could end if Jinx found out. Obviously, you didn't really understand what happened because you weren't there, and maybe that’s the reason you got killed in the end.

…

Everything was going well, for the most part at least. Jinx still didn’t know that her sister was alive, and the only people who did know were you, Silco, and Sevika. Silco had advised you to not tell Jinx anything about it, so you didn’t, but you were starting to think that you should with what was going on currently. 

You knocked on the door of Silco’s office before making your way inside to only see no one inside, making you tilt your head in confusion as you walked in further and to his desk. You were incredibly confused to put it simply, there was usually always someone in Silco’s office whether it be him or Sevika, which was why it was awfully weird that there was no sign of either of them. Not to mention that you had lost Jinx and had no clue where she was, which made you think only the worst possible things that were capable of happening. 

You heard a light groan above you, and you froze in your spot before looking up and seeing Sevika tied up with the familiar colors and drawings written across her fake arm and you quickly noticed the biggest word written. 

“Liar.”

Oh no. You knew what this meant, it meant the only thing that could be possible at this current moment.

Jinx knew Vi was alive.

…

You were running in the undercity for who knows how long, you sure as hell didn’t, not when you were too caught up on thinking about where Silco and Jinx were and if either of them were okay or injured at all. You were extremely worried now that you had figured out that Jinx knew her sister that had abandoned her many years ago was actually still alive and well. After the countless nights that your girlfriend had woken up in the middle of the night due to nightmares about everything that happened, you knew how bad it could end if she came face to face with the one person who turned her into Jinx. 

You continued to run until you saw a bright blue light from a high place and you stopped abruptly. You tried to see if it was Jinx, but you were too far away to tell, so what did you do? Start running towards the light in hopes that it was Jinx. 

By the time you arrived, the smoke was gone and you could hear voices. 

“It’s Jinx now, Powder fell down a well.” 

You heard Jinx’s voice and quickly made it up the stairs to see Jinx with her minigun in hand and two girls in front of her, one looking like a topsider and the other having pink hair. Your eyes widened when you realized what was going on as you pulled out your pistol and aimed it at the topsider you assumed was the enforcer Jinx’s sister was with, “Don’t move.” You told her. 

The pink-haired girl and Jinx both looked over at you when you spoke and you could see a tattoo that read “VI” in roman numerals, now you knew it was definitely the Vi that Jnix was talking about.

“You must be Vi, I’ve heard so much about you.” You spoke to her with no emotion in your voice present, “You’re the one that was always there, but never really was because you abandoned Jinx. I see, so you’ve come back for what then? To patch up the rough spots? Or is it for the gemstone perhaps?” 

“Who the hell are you?” Vi spat at you. 

You put your free hand over your heart in fake pain as if you were offended and you scoffed, “How rude, you do realize I have a gun pointed at your pretty friend, right? So I suggest you be nice. I’m Y/n, Jinx’s partner. And I know everything about you, so don’t play games with me.” 

Vi looked from you back to Jinx who still had the gun pointed at her before sighing, “Look, can you just pun the guns down so we can talk?” 

“Talk? Or just so your enforcer friend can put us in prison?” You questioned, raising an eyebrow at the girl. 

“To talk, just talk,” Vi answered. 

You scoffed again, shaking your head before lowering the gun from the enforcer’s head and walking to Jinx, whispering to her, “We should go.”

Jinx nodded slowly, lowering the minigun and looking up at you, “Should I do it?” She whispered back to you. 

You knew what she was asking about, whenever she asked you this in a whisper while looking at you with those damn eyes that could kill it was always about whether or not to kill someone, and it made you sigh every time. “No, Silco and Sevika will take care of it.” 

“Fine.” Jinx sighed, not knowing what to do or even say anymore. 

You looked back at the other two girls and put your pistol back in its holster, clapping your hands together before speaking, “Well, it was great to meet you Vi. Hopefully the next time we can see who’s really stronger, and see if you’re really worth listening to after what you did to Jinx.”

“Her name is Powder.” Vi cut you off. 

“Tsh, I should shoot you just for saying that. But for the sake of JINX, I won’t. Now if I ever see you or your enforcer friend again, I will kill you both.” You told the two in a harsh tone before turning around and reaching out for Jinx’s hand. “Let’s go, we have more important matters to get to.”

Jinx nodded, taking your hand and you two began to walk back down the stairs and past her sister, making sure you gave a glare before making your way back to The Last Drop.

…

You hated running, it didn’t matter what the cause was, you just hated it. Especially when you could only go in one direction like the bridge that connected Piltover from the undercity. Why were you running along that bridge exactly? Well, you had found out that Jinx had gone after Vi to try and find her, and the last place you could think that she would be was on the bridge if they had the gemstone and were trying to get it back to Piltover, which easily meant a fight could start at any minute. 

As you were running, you heard a gunshot and started running faster, yelling out Jinx’s name which made her look at you from her high spot on the bridge and make her realize what could happen, but she pushed those thoughts away as she hopped down and made her way down the bridge, trailing behind you without you even realizing. 

By the time you reached the bright spotlights, you saw a group of enforcers and the one female enforcer that was with Jinx’s sister and immediately raised your hands up when a gun was pointed at you. ‘Shit, shit, shit, shit. What am I supposed to do now?’ You thought to yourself as you saw Vi running towards everyone with green specs that were actually insects following behind her, making your eyebrows furrow together in confusion. 

One of the insects stopped right in front of you, and you could hear the ticking that you soon realized what it was when you saw the pink and blue colors have drawn onto it. “Oh shit.” You let out before it exploded right in front of your face, knocking you out and hitting the ground with a loud thud. 

You opened your eyes only to see dust, blood, and shrapnel everywhere along with dead bodies, resulting in your eyes widening. You tried to get up but screamed out in pain when trying to do so, and you looked down to see multiple pieces of the bomb and probably other bombs inside of your torso and stomach. You then laid your head back down on the ground when you heard humming, making you turn it to see the familiar blue hair that was braided down by Jinx’s feet. 

“Jinx?” You said, immediately coughing up a clot of blood afterward.

Jinx’s eyes widened when she heard your voice and she quickly ran towards you and kneeled down beside you, “Y/n? W-What are you doing here? You’re not- You’re not supposed to be here.” She stuttered out, looking down at your bloodied clothes and face. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it I- I didn’t mean to hurt you I’m so sorry please- I didn’t know you were here, I’m sorry.”

“Just wanted…to save you.” You said through short breaths. You looked up at her to see tears welling up in her eyes, and you lifted your hand and held the side of her face, caressing her cheek with your thumb. “Please don’t cry, I know you didn’t mean it. It’s okay.”

“No, I can help you, We just have to find Silco, okay? It’s gonna be okay. I swear.” Jinx told you past small hiccups in her voice due to trying to hold back her tears. She wrapped her arms around you and hoisted you onto her back, “Hold on, okay?” 

You could hardly hear anything with the ringing from the explosion still present in your ears and your eyesight was starting to turn black as your head rested on your girlfriend’s back, “Put me down, Jinx. It’s okay.” 

“It’s not okay! We have to try! Please, we can get there in time, I know it We just-”

“Jinx!” You yelled, cutting her off as you turned her head to look at you. “It’s okay.” You smiled at her with all your strength left. “I’ll always be here with you, don’t worry. It’s not your fault, it was mine. I thought I could help but, I didn’t think about the consequences and what could happen and I’m sorry about that. For doing this. But you have to know that I will always love you, no matter what. Nothing you do will ever change that. I promise. Now go finish what you started, my love. For I will be watching you the whole time, even if I’m not present with you.”

The tears that were threatening to fall from Jinx’s eyes soon started flowing like a downpour of rain, the skies darkening and everything feeling grim and gloomy, with no sign of happiness for however long the rain would last. The girl carefully took you off her back and leaned you up against the railing of the bridge before sitting down beside you, interlacing her fingers with your bloodied ones, the ones that she had caused, all because of her selfish actions. She could hardly even believe that this was happening or if it was even real, but deep behind her thoughts and the voices talking to her, she knew it was real and indeed was happening, it wasn’t a dream anymore. It was reality. Her worst dream was coming true, and it was all her fault, just like last time. All because she was a jinx, and she finally realized now that there was no going back, and that she truly could never change, no matter how hard anyone, no matter how hard you tried, she would never be able to change the way she is, that’s just how it was. “I’ll finish it, I promise. I’ll complete the weapon and no one will ever screw with us anymore, I just wish…that this didn’t happen.” 

You looked down at the girl sitting beside you and felt so much guilt and sorrow at how much effect it was causing on Jinx, and truthfully, you thought it was your fault. If only you knew the consequences, if only you knew how bad this war was between the two sisters that would cause many more casualties along the lines, but it’s for the greater good, right? You wished that your death wouldn’t be in vain and that nothing would happen or change because of it, but you knew that Jinx wouldn’t allow that. She would never let your death change nothing, would it make her even worse and traumatized than she already is? Most definitely. But it also meant that things would change, it meant that she herself would change as well. She didn’t know it yet, but it was known to occur to Silco. “It’s okay, Just remember that I am always on your side and that Silco is too. He would never give you up for anything. Because you’re perfect, and I love-”

Jinx began to cry more when you didn’t finish what you were saying, how your hand fell limp in hers and how your eyes stopped moving entirely, showing no sign of life in them whatsoever. She cupped your face and leaned her forehead on yours, “I love you too.” She whispered to your now deceased body. 

After a few more minutes of silently crying, the tears stopped, and Jinx’s face now had no emotion in it as she stood up and picked up your body and turned around to see Vi and Caitlyn, staring at the blue-haired girl with wide eyes. But Jinx didn’t do anything, instead, she turned her back on the girls and started to walk back to the undercity with you in her arms, now gone forever. 

…

Jinx woke up from her sleep with a loud gasp, breathing heavily and sweat dripping down her body. “Y/n?” She turned to look at the other side of the bed, only to see you weren’t there. “Oh…that’s right.” She said to herself quietly. She laid herself back down and stared at the empty space in her bed like she did every night since you died. Because no matter how hard she tried, every day was a struggle to keep it together and not snap at everyone she sees, and for a while she was stuck in a depressive state because of it. Where she wouldn’t have the energy to even get out of bed and Sevika would have to drag her out of it forcibly when she stayed in there for the whole day. Where she wouldn’t cry, but you could see it in the way she acted and in her eyes how truly heartbroken she was now that you were gone and weren’t coming back. But eventually, she bounced back. 

And became the worst thing anyone’s seen from her.