#i also want to draw more quick stuff for the asks i get so expect a little art in these ask masterposts from now on
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splitster · 1 year ago
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answering asks? more likely than you think
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i have a feeling it wouldn't go too well... although, to an outsider, a mamuta smacking pom because she's a threat to the flowers would look the exact same as a mamuta smacking pom because its trying to bury her so she can grow, so i don't think any of the other officers would see anything suspect about the interaction
↓ more under the cut!! ↓
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HELL YEAHHHHH absolutely I will always draw more Pingo! if you ever have pingo suggestions/requests/questions, my inbox is always open💖
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THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! WAHHH i do my best when it comes to characterizations... I try to make them all unique and interesting lol
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heh... the Dingo enjoyer pipeline... heh....
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THIS is a really good question. at the beginning, she doesn't necessarily resent who she is -- she just subconsciously wants for a place to belong, and for people to fit in amongst. she absolutely recognizes she's different but she doesn't fault herself for that, she just focuses on trying to fit in
now, as time passes and she comes to understand people more, her stance might change -- especially if she manages to spend time with people she cares about and makes friends, but ends up getting ousted or otherwise ostracized. at that point, she might idly wish she was someone else.
for the most part though being a wraith is something she doesn't dwell on, it's just a part of her that she accepts without thinking.
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this is wonderful news. spread the Dick "Dingo" Ringo truth.
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AHH THANK YOU!!! i am continuously floored by the support i receive for both the pom wraith AU and for pingo... i'm very touched that so many people have enjoyed my silly AU, and i'm happy that people like the silly pairing that ended up spawning from it 💖
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AUUUGHH this is the pain of answering asks super late... anon if you see this i hope you enjoyed the pom x collin x dingo pics i posted a while back. i will most likely make more in the future too because i think they're cute
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collin is the only normal rescue corps officer. he's SOOO normal in comparison so unfortunately it falls to him to be the voice of reason more times than not
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YOURE SO RIGHT. it's hard when your coworker is an alien species you know literally nothing about... pom will be fine, she can heal pretty big cracks in her core as long as she stays fed and rests💖
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AHHH THANK YOU!! (im assuming you mean collin) i think hes very neat. im picking him up and squeezing him like a stress toy
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AUUGHH THANK YOU!! WAH....💖
THANK YALL FOR ALL THE ASKS!!! i try to read each and every one (even if i can't respond to all of them), and i really appreciate all the support and the interesting questions and prompts!! it means the world to me that so many people wanna engage with the stuff i make💖💖
i will continue getting through asks... slowly...
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penkura · 5 months ago
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where you belong [2/10]
Summary: As Luffy's big sister, you've viewed it to be your job to see him become King of the Pirates in place of your absent parents, even as you try to find where it is you belong in the world. You never really expected to draw the attention of Trafalgar Law in the process.
Pairing: Trafalgar Law x Fem!reader
Warnings: Discussion of feelings of abandonment, age gap relationship (four years), brief secret relationship, mentions and heavy refences to sex, mentions of alcohol, typical One Piece stuff. Other warnings to be added if needed.
Note: Sorry this has taken so long! I wanted to really progress these two and get some moments between them, so the chapter ended up bigger than planned! Next one is a good one I think. ;) Forgot to mention last time but Reader is going to be described as shorter than Law, and that height difference can be your own interpretation (I'm 5ft tall, these men would tower over me).
I am also FLOORED at how well received the first chapter was and that we've got a taglist for this series, my gosh. You guys are so sweet and wonderful!! If I missed you on the taglist PLEASE let me know and I will add you to the future chapters! I hope you'll enjoy this chapter and the beginning of Law and Reader falling for each other!
Taglist:
@pinksaiyans | @sukunas-play-thing | @spiderlily-w1tch-blog | @mineymak | @valen-yamyam16 | @shimmerxc | @luffy0s | @fluffybunnyu | @laws-wife-things | @crmnic
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[Ch. 1]
You spend the next week learning more about the Polar Tang and the Heart Pirates themselves, Law taking most of your time to help you get used to things. He's made sure you understand the basic rules of the ship, for his crew, including the boiler suits, and what do in case of certain emergencies. You’re going to be working on your poisons in his office, in case anything happens, he can help you fix it. You’re honestly grateful for the time everyone has taken to help you get your bearings straight and work out where things are. You’ll be sharing a room with Ikkaku, who is so glad to have another girl aboard for as long as you are. She’s already started sharing some gossip with you, pointing out those involved so you knew who was who on top of it all.
Penguin has been extremely kind and helpful, telling you that you’re welcome to join him for night watches once you tell him you spend a lot of time writing during your shifts on the Sunny.
Shachi and Uni both showed you around some of the major maintenance areas, both promising they’d help you learn the most basic things so you can be of help if needed.
You’re about to join Bepo for a quick navigation lesson before their captain calls you, wanting to discuss somethings with you before you got too far away.
Law, although he agreed to letting you stay with him and his crew, still isn’t entirely sure what to do with you. There’s still that strange feeling in his chest when you smile at him, as you thank him for all his help and allowing you to stay, once he brings you to his office again a few days later, and he waves you off.
“You don’t have to thank me constantly.”
“I know,” you smile again and he feels that feeling that’s been hanging around, but Law tries to ignore it, “I’m just…really grateful. I know my being here may be a burden—”
“Not a burden, you’re welcome here. Everyone’s glad you’re staying around for now.”
Hearing that makes you brighten up, as Law starts to question you more about what you do for the Straw Hats, and what you can bring to his crew in the meantime. You list off everything you’ve come to learn about being at sea from being a Straw Hat, Law making mental notes on other things to ask about later.
“Any other special talents we should know about?”
You start to think, pressing a finger to your chin while you do so. Another action Law has to tell himself isn’t cute, before you grin and lean in close to him, quietly speaking.
“I can see the dead.”
Complete silence as Law raises an eyebrow at you as you continue to grin, halfway expecting him to ask for proof. Ask you to tell him about a spirit that might be hanging around the Polar Tang, or around one his crewmembers, but he doesn’t ask anything, eventually returning to a straight face.
“No you can’t.”
“…okay fine, I can’t. It’d be cool though!”
He rolls his eyes, which makes you laugh in return. Law goes to let you out of his office which you oblige by, knowing he’s done talking with you now that you’ve made your joke. He stops you with a hand on your shoulder first, you giving him a questioning look.
“I’ll help you make antidotes for your poisons. But you won’t use my crew as test subjects.”
“Ha! That’s fine, I don’t test on people anyway, just in case. Just give me some fish and I can use those.”
Giving him another grin, you walk ahead saying Bepo was going to show you something next, but Law had rudely interrupted by wanting to know what you could bring to his crew for the next two years. You’ll promise later to make extra batches of antidote for him to keep in his medicine stockpile, while Law watches you hurry down the hall and sighs.
“That’s the wrong way.”
He’s quick to follow you, grabbing your arm and bringing you back the right way, deciding he’ll join you and Bepo for whatever it was you two were discussing next. He wants to ensure you’re being given correct information and know what to do in an emergency, especially so if you need medical attention.
Atta boy, Law.
If you really could see the dead, you’d have noticed the tall, blond man with makeup and a large, black feathered coat pushing Law towards you.
+!+
“We’re approaching a winter island, everyone needs to be ready to disembark for a bit and—”
“A winter island?!”
Your outburst causes Law to stop speaking with a nod at you, and you’re gone to the crew bunks in an instant, followed by Bepo who is just as excited. Law gives a look to Ikkaku and Uni, who you’d been talking to when he came in, and both simply shrug at him. They all briefly noticed a sparkle in your eyes as you ran off, likely to change clothes and get ready to disembark, but none of them knew your intent or real interest in the snow.
It's only when Law catches you by the exit door with Bepo, excitedly talking with the Polar bear mink about what you could do in the snow, all dressed up in your coat, thick pants, boots and gloves. You and Bepo trade ideas back and forth about what to build out of the snow, or if you can get a snowball fight started.
Law hasn’t seen someone so excited for snow in a long time, he thinks not since the last winter with Lami.
Penguin joins you and Bepo by the door next, throwing an arm around your shoulders and giving you a smile.
“What’re you so excited about some snow for?”
“It practically never snows in my home town! I think it snowed maybe twice while Luffy and I lived there? Chopper is from a winter island, so when we were there, it was so exciting!”
“Haha, I’m from the North Blue, so snow is pretty normal up there. Well…the area me and Shachi are from anyway.”
“Ah,” you give a little sigh but smile yourself, “I’m so jealous. What about Trafalgar?”
“That’s…well, kind of different, but we did meet him where we used to live,” looking over his shoulder, Penguin sees Law but leans into whisper, “Probably better if you ask him another time. It’s…a lot…”
Before you have a chance to question it, Law comes up behind Penguin and tells him to go ahead with opening the door, the Polar Tang should be stable enough for you all to leave now. You put that question into the back of your mind for later, instead running out with Bepo as soon as the door opens. The excitement both of you have is almost contagious, as the rest of the Heart Pirates slowly join you outside. While some of them are tasked with scoping out the island, the rest end up with you and Bepo building snowmen for a while, though you and the mink end up making a snow polar bear the best you can even if it looks a little goofy in the end. Some pieces are a little larger than others but you still think it’s cute, even as your companion bows his head apologetically.
“I’m sorry, [Y/N], I made some things a little too big.”
“No, that’s okay, Bepo! It gives it charm, I think he’s cute!”
You reassure Bepo a few times with a smile, before the two of you go to work with others on more snow sculptures. It goes well until you get hit in the face with a snowball, thrown by Hakugan at Shachi who dodged just in time. While it makes you sneeze a bit as you brush the snow off your face, with Bepo and Ikkaku yelling at Hakugan while he shouts apologies and Shachi nearly cackles, it doesn’t upset you at all really. Yeah it kind of hurt to have a snowball hit you in the face, but hey, you mentioned a snowball fight earlier, right?
Crouching down to gather up some snow, you put on a wicked grin and fling the ball at Hakugan yourself, catching him in the back as he turns away while you laugh.
“How about a warning next time?!”
“Yeah, snowball fight!!”
Most everyone joins in, gathering up all the snowballs they could or just throwing loose snow at each other, Law watches from the side, a slight smile on his face. He’s glad everyone can take a bit to relax and enjoy themselves, he’s not sure he’s seen his crew this excited about snow in a long time, even Shachi who grew up in the North Blue. Some of you group up to get an advantage over others, Law turns to ignoring the snowball fight as Penguin and Uni come back with what they found on the island.
All is well until Law is hit in the back of the head with a snowball, keeping himself upright but turning quickly to search through everyone and find who did it as you all quiet down seeing his glare. Not a single person looks him in the eye, but they all point to you, while you cover your mouth with your hand and try to stifle your laughter.
“S-Sorry, Trafalgar,” a giggle escapes you as you glance over to him, “I… I was… hehe… aiming for Penguin… honest!”
“Oh yeah…?” Law’s voice is low, he crouches down to scoop up some snow, locking eyes with you as yours widen and you turn to run, but realize it’s futile when Law uses his Shambles to catch up and grab you, shoving the snow he’d gathered into your coat and making you screech before everyone returns to the snowball fight.
“That’s cruel!!”
“Everyone get Captain, he’s cheating!’
While the rest of the Heart Pirates aim for Law, you and their captain are honed in on each other, trading blows from snowballs for the longest time, your personal goal to knock his hat off as payback for shoving snow down your back. Luckily you’re not the one to hit him hard enough to knock the spotted hat off, but you’re close enough to grab before he does, sticking it on your own head and playing keep away once Law realizes where it’s at.
“Looks good on me, huh, Trafalgar?! I might keep it!”
“The hell you will, that’s mine!”
Once Law catches you, he doesn’t let go until he’s snatched his hat back off your head and returned it to its rightful place, keeping a grip on your arm as he notices the sky starting to get darker. The rest of the crew has settled down, stopping at first to watch you and Law until a new snowfall began.
You forget for a few minutes that Law has a hold of your arm, it’s not uncomfortable, but you feel your heart pick up a bit from it.
“It’s pretty….the snowfall.”
He nods, finally noticing he still has a hold of you and letting go, disappointment flooding you as Law calls for everyone to return to the ship. Tomorrow will be a day in town to restock, you’ll all take off again afterwards.
You volunteer at dinner to make everyone the lavender milk tea that Makino once taught you, most of the crew enjoying it, but you’re especially surprised by Law liking it, even telling you so.
It's the small smile he gives when you thank him that makes you realize you just might be starting to get a crush on him.
+!+
Law knows something is up when you don’t join the rest of the Heart Pirates for a meeting before being let off the ship. He still does his job as captain, giving out duties to everyone so they knew what to do and who would be stocking supplies, who would be checking for wanted posters, and anything he felt needed to be done this time. He’d planned for you to join him on a once around the island to look for anything of interest, but when you don’t show up, he knows something must be wrong.
“Ikkaku-ya,” Law stops your roommate before she gets too far, Ikkaku giving him her full attention, “Where’s [Y/N]-ya?”
“Oh, um…” Ikkaku shuffles from one foot to the next, not fully looking at her captain and that’s what worries him more, until she speaks again, “She isn’t feeling well…she’s not sick so she doesn’t need a check-up but, it might be best to leave her alone today, probably tomorrow too…”
That leads to Law believing your cycle had started, and he chooses not to question it further, lest he or Ikkaku feel embarrassed about the discussion. He decides to leave you be, you’ll probably join them tomorrow for island exploring, most likely with Penguin if he asks you especially. When you do show up for dinner that evening, you’re quieter than usual and Law notices how Penguin and Ikkaku are the ones to talk with you. He can’t hear anything they say, but seeing you at least smile and respond to them is enough for him to think that everything is fine, you’re just not feeling 100% and that makes sense. He’s heard you and Ikkaku complain about cramps and the like the last few months, he already knows the first day is hard for you, so he lets it go. At least you’re out and talking to everyone.
But he knows something is up the next time it happens, not even two weeks later, and it can’t be blamed on your period this time. You don’t show up to a crew meeting, you still aren’t one of his crewmates but you’ve been joining for anything interesting or important, and Law doesn’t let it show that he's a little more worried, so he stops Penguin this time and asks him the same thing, where are you and why didn’t you show up?
Penguin doesn’t fully look at Law, scratching the back of his head as he tries to find the words.
“She…just isn’t up for it today, Cap. Maybe we should let her have the day off…”
Although Law tells Penguin that’s fine, he does go off to find you, the door to your and Ikkaku’s room barely open, but he knocks to make sure you’re not indecent or anything. There’s no answer so he opens the door, not seeing you anywhere, the new assumption being that you’re in the bathroom. He turns his attention there, again knocking on the door.
“[Y/N]-ya, Penguin-ya said you weren’t felling well, are you all right?”
No response, Law furrows his brow and knocks again, saying your name a little louder this time. He swears he hears a small whimper and a sob, and that’s what makes him finally open the bathroom door, simply saying he’s coming in before doing so, but he nearly freezes when he sees you.
Nearly curled up into a ball in the corner, head buried in your arms wrapped around your knees with numerous used tissues and he just knows that if you looked up at him, he’d feel that strange feeling in his chest again, or one of heartbreak, he isn’t entirely sure which one.
Law is not trying to scare you, but when he touches your hand and says your name a third time, it makes you jump and look up at him with wide, tear filled eyes, you feel beyond embarrassed that he’s caught you like this, but it quickly turns to more tears and a bit of anger.
“Are you—”
“Get out! Go away!!” Law barely dodges the box of tissues when you throw it at him, he’s not able to dodge the mascara you toss at his head as you keep yelling at him to leave. He doesn’t really move to leave until you stand up much too quickly and start pushing him out, he’s just surprised at your reaction to him finding you crying. “Leave me alone!!”
Once he’s out the door you almost slam it shut in his face and lock it, Law doesn’t know what to make of this really.
He can handle physical ailments, mental is a little harder for him but he’s working on it for his crew, yet emotional problems are not in his wheel house at all. He doesn’t really know why you’re locked in the bathroom, hiding in a corner crying, but that look on your face gave him an idea. He recognizes it from his own past, after his family and Flevance, then again after Corazon.
It was pure grief that was written on your face, definitely from your still fresh loss of Ace, and Law isn’t sure how to help you.
He doesn’t know if he should help you, you just might turn all your grief inward and ignore any hands held out for help, even from your new friends let alone him.
“Captain? Why are you…oh.”
Ikkaku finds Law still in your room several minutes later, staring at your bathroom door, until he hears her and looks at her, an expression she can’t read on his face.
“How long?”
“A few weeks now,” she sits on the edge of her bed, not looking at Law now, “It happens randomly it seems like, or something reminds her of Ace and sets her off. His birthday is soon, so that might be it right now. Penguin and I promised we wouldn’t let anyone know, so she could grieve alone.”
“Why was it being kept a secret?”
She shrugs a bit, Law isn’t sure he’s going to get many more answers today, but then Ikkaku speaks up again.
“She doesn’t want to burden anyone with her feelings, I guess. She should be fine by dinner, Captain, she just… needs some time.”
While she is correct, and you show up again at dinner looking normal but still with a sadness on your face that he can see, Law wonders if there’s something he can do to help you. Your need to grieve and have that time alone isn’t a bad thing, he won’t deny you that when you need it, but he wants to do something for you, he still doesn’t know you well enough to know that exactly you need, but anything is better than letting you be alone.
He knows all too well how that feels.
When it happens a third time, several weeks later, you don’t show up once again, Law doesn’t even need to look at Penguin or Ikkaku, they won’t meet his eyes anyway. After he lets everyone else go, his next mission is to find you, even though he knows exactly where you are. Law isn’t sure if his plan is going to work, but he wants you to stop hiding away from everyone when you break down. It’s not because he’s angry about it, he just doesn’t want you to continue suffering alone. It’s not good for anyone to do that.
He doesn’t even knock when he gets to your room, but does so when he sees your bathroom door is closed like the last time.
“[Y/N]-ya, I’m coming in.”
“No,” you force back a sob, making sure the door is locked, “Go away!”
“I won’t.”
You haven’t experienced all the abilities Law has at his disposal, but you aren’t that surprised when you see a blue hue, and he’s in the bathroom with you not even a moment later. He’s not phased by you attempting to throw things at him again, even while you yell at him to leave you alone, you don’t need help, you don’t need anyone right now.
You’ve handled things like this by yourself your whole life, why would need help now?
“I don’t need help!”
“I’m not trying to help.”
“Then lea—”
Law doesn’t give you much more room to talk, instead grabbing your wrist and pulling you into a hug, pressing your face into his chest which causes your eyes to widen a bit and tears to flow even more.
“I’m not trying to help,” Law holds you tightly, feeling a just a bit of relief as you slowly wrap your arms around him in return while you return to crying, “but you don’t have to be alone, all right?”
“T-Trafalgar…I…I just—”
“I know, I get it. But,” he knows it’s probably going to sound hypocritical based on his own issues, but Law still feels the need to say it again, “you don’t have to do this alone.”
Law isn’t entirely sure why he’s chosen to let you cry into him, let you grip onto his shirt like he’s the only thing holding you to the earth while you continue to cry and say how it isn’t fair that Ace died, that you lost another brother (he’s going to have to ask about that later, that’s the second time you’ve mentioned it). Maybe it’s because he didn’t have anyone back then, when he lost his own loved ones. It might be that, because he saw a reflection of himself in you the first time he found you hiding away and struggling to handle your grief. While you drag the two of you to the floor, Law simply adjusts to as comfortable a position he can, he’s at least sure you’ll both be there a while. You don’t show any signs of calming any time soon.
Law doesn’t know why he came after you, but once your cries fade to nothing, not even whimpers, he’s relieved to hear you speaking to him without being upset or between sobs of anger and sadness.
“I’m sorry…for crying all over your shirt again…”
“Don’t be. It’ll wash.”
Law strokes your hair a bit while you finally smile, nodding, before he helps you up off the floor. While you wash your face, Law directs you to not worry about helping anyone out with chores or sharing shifts today, he’s already split everything up among his crew, you’re under strict orders from the doctor to rest and recover from your breakdown. He does offer to bring you something to eat and drink, which you take him up on, stopping him before he fully leaves your room.
“Thank you…Law, I appreciate this…”
He’s completely aware that’s the first time you’ve used his first name, and he notices a different feeling in his chest. It’s not the same, almost heart squeeze he’s felt before, but something more comforting. Warm almost, and he’s starting to get it more.
“You’re welcome, [Y/N]-ya.”
Ah, that’s what it is…
Law realizes he’s starting to have feelings for you, though he decides to push them down for now.
He’s not going to use your weakened emotional state to push himself further into your life, not when he doesn’t even know if he’s okay with these feelings or not. For now, he’s going to do what he said and bring you some lunch, he’ll deal with these feelings later.
It is nice to hear you call him by his given name though.
+!+
“You’re as reckless as your brother.”
You giggle a bit while Law continues to wrap bandages around your arm, shooting you a small glare while you laugh. He’s not amused, mostly because it was him you’d tried to protect and ended up getting hurt over. You shoved him out of the way of an enemy attack, receiving a deep slice across your own arm instead. Once he realized what happened, Law was furious with you, even though he knows you aren’t part of his crew, it didn’t change the fact he was trying to protect you for Luffy while your crew was apart. You were lucky, he’d told you after he forced you to the infirmary, that your attacker’s weapon didn’t have any poison on it. You’d probably be dead before he even got you there if it had been.
You just grinned and said it was the opposite, your attacker was lucky your knife didn’t have poison on it, or he’d be in worse shape than he already was from your perfect aim hitting him between the shoulders. It doesn’t cause Law any relief to hear that, he still glares and it makes you start to shrink away, averting your gaze elsewhere.
You two still don’t know each other very well, it’s only been a few months since Luffy tossed you to him as the Heart Pirates left Amazon Lily. Still, you’ve found Law is fiercely protective of his crew, his family, just as you are with the Straw Hats, and while you’re with them, you count as one of his crewmembers.
The feelings you’ve started to develop for him don’t help much, Ikkaku being the only one who knows since you’ve told her how distraught you feel over it.
How could you start falling for a rival pirate captain? It’s only a crush but it makes you feel like you’re betraying your crew sometimes.
“Law, I’m fi—”
“And what if you weren’t?” He’s nearly grinding his teeth and ties off your bandage a little tighter than he intended, making you take a sharp breath. “What would you want me to tell your brother?”
You shrug, starting to play with the end of the bandages to distract yourself from him. “Could just tell him I protected you.”
“I don’t need you to protect me,” you jump when Law slams down the scissors on the metal plate, keeping his back to you so you don’t see how upset he really is, “My crew knows I don’t need it. They know to run if a battle might cost them their lives. Why can’t you see that?”
“Because I do this for my crewmates, too. I’ve even pushed Zoro and Sanji out of the way. I’m sorry if you don’t like it but—”
“Sorry wouldn’t bring you back from the dead.”
You both become silent, you taking a deep breath and holding it for a moment before nodding and biting your lip.
“You’re right…that’s why Ace isn’t back.”
“Hey, I didn’t—”
“Thanks for bandaging me up, Trafalgar,” Law turns around just as you jump off the table, going to leave, “I’ll see you at dinner.”
Law watches you leave, letting out a frustrated sigh once you’re gone. He really hadn’t meant to upset you, it just came out, but it was also the truth. What good was ‘sorry’ if you had died and he had to tell Luffy that he'd lost another sibling, this time a blood related one? He didn’t want to have to deal with that, not when you and Luffy were still getting over Ace’s death.
He gets it, he really does, that pain doesn’t go away quickly, no matter how many false smiles you give to him or the others, or how often you laugh with them. No matter how many times he finds you crying the bathroom over you grief. It hasn’t been that long, he doesn’t expect you to be whatever is normal for you so soon. He probably shouldn’t be berating you, you’re not part of his crew so he doesn’t have the right, Law isn’t your captain.
But, you’re under his care for two years, you’re a temporary member of his crew, so you should listen to him. You’re proving to be as stubborn as Luffy is, but also just as protective as Law is.
And your progress with him, ugh. You’d finally gotten comfortable enough to call him by his first name, and now you’re back to calling him Trafalgar instead. Seven months of progress down the drain all because he was concerned, worried about you being reckless.
…why am I so worried though?
He could easily chalk it up to the fact you’re Luffy’s sister and he’s trying to protect you until you’re back with your crew, or he could even say its because of the feelings he’s developed for you, but Law doesn’t want to get into that right now.
Neither of you speak until dinner, when you run into each other right outside the kitchen and start a back and forth about who should go in first.
“You’re the captain, sir.”
“Ladies first, miss.”
You don’t like being formal, or hearing him call you ‘miss’, but you don’t want to fight about it. Not when his crew can hear and might be concerned about it.
“Crew shouldn’t eat without their captain there.”
“We don’t have that rule around here.”
Eventually you relent and go first, getting your food and taking the first free seat by Ikkaku, Law sitting beside you a moment later. You don’t talk to each other the whole time, you focus on your conversation with Ikkaku while Law responds to anyone speaking to him. You barely even notice when Law takes the roll he really didn’t want to have on his plate, and moves it to yours, almost like a peace offering that you two are okay, he’s not mad at you for trying to protect him anymore. You do give him a smile when you notice, which he returns with a nod before leaving for his room.
You sigh a bit, looking back to your plate and keeping your smile to yourself.
Things will be okay.
+!+
Over the last nearly ten months, Law has learned a few of your quirks. When you work on your poisons, you mark things three times over to ensure you have the correct amounts listed, you almost always strike up conversation with him about anything that comes to mind, even if Law doesn’t answer you.
Sometimes he’s caught you biting your pencil or pen while making notes, it’s one of your cuter quirks.
On nights you can’t sleep, like tonight, he can easily find you in the kitchen, brewing up some tea to help you fall asleep, and that’s where Law decides he has to talk to you. You’ve both moved past your argument from a few months ago, it’s like it never happened now, but he feels the need to speak with you about something important.
No, not his feelings, he’s going to ignore those as long as possible. He recognized them after you’d had an emotional breakdown, he’s not going to admit that especially, he doesn’t want you to think he has a kink for crying or something, absolutely not.
“Hey.”
“Oh, hey, Law,” you look over your shoulder for a second with a smile, turning back to your tea, “Couldn’t sleep, though some tea might help.”
“Your usual then?”
Nodding, as you finish off your tea making, Law sits at the table and waits for you to join him, knowing you’ve made him a cup of lavender milk tea too. You’d started doing that and either taking it to his office before you head to bed or having him join you in the kitchen where you have small conversations before you both turn in for the night.
You’ve gotten quite comfortable with Law, your own feelings for him aside. He’s been helpful with your poison and antidote creations, ensuring your ratios are correct and helping you when they aren’t. You’ve started discussing books you’ve both read, you were shocked to find he enjoyed the Sora Warrior of the Sea comics. His being such a nerd over them never struck you as odd thankfully, Law even letting you borrow a few of his copies so you can give it a try yourself.
He makes you feel safe and comfortable, you really enjoy being with Law.
Law thanks you when you hand over the mug of tea, taking your seat across from him to enjoy your own, settling into a welcomed silence. With how rowdy his crew can be at times, you get why Law hides himself away in his office most of the time, and you’re grateful that he lets you share the space when needed.
“I know you said I didn’t have to,” Law looks over to you as you speak, an eyebrow raised, “but thank you again, for letting me stay. I really appreciate the help you’ve given me.”
“Like I’ve said, its no problem. Everyone’s glad you’re here.”
I’m more than glad you’re here.
There’s a soft smile on your face that Law enjoys seeing, and he honestly hopes you won’t lose it after he talks to you.
“I wanted…to tell you something.”
“Go for it,” setting your mug down on the table, you rest your elbows there with your chin in your hands, “I’m all ears, Law.”
He's almost fighting himself on if he should or shouldn’t, maybe another time. It’s late after all, you probably want to go to bed now that you’ve had your tea. It’s making him sleepy too, but the anxiety he feels is almost nullifying the tea’s effects.
Taking a deep breath, Law finally speaks up again, not meeting your eye.
“I want to tell you about my past,” that makes you perk up, remembering what Penguin had said to you months ago, “But I don’t think I can tonight. It’s…”
“A lot…?”
He nods, which you return, realizing this must be more than what Penguin could’ve meant, it has to be hard for Law to dredge up whatever memories he has of his childhood and teenage years, of everything that led him to where he is now.
Everything that’s leading him down the path he’s chosen.
“So,” when he finally looks up at you, you’re not surprised at how tired Law looks, it has to be taking a lot for him to do this, “I want to set a time in a few days, where you and I can sit, and I can tell you everything. “
You need to know before I could ever tell you my feelings anyway.
“Law,” Nodding, you quietly reach out your hand to his, not wanting to scare him off, “Just tell me whenever, and I’ll make myself available to listen, okay?”
After he agrees, Law offers to walk you back to your shared room with Ikkaku, which you take him up on even though you know the way. The Polar Tang is only so big, but it’s nice to have him by your side. Once you reach your door, Law turns to leave and you stop him, grabbing his shirt sleeve and leaning up, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek, his eyes widening just a hair.
“Thanks for walking me…and trusting me, Law. See you in the morning.”
You don’t give him a chance to say anything in response before you enter your room and close the door, sighing heavily as you bring yourself to the floor, Ikkaku watching you from her bed.
“Man, you’ve got it bad for the captain, huh?”
“…it’s that obvious?”
“As obvious as the fact he’s the same for you, girlfriend.”
While you don’t believe Ikkaku is correct in that statement, Law isn’t able to bring himself to move for several minutes, frozen in shock that you decided to kiss his cheek and just run off to bed.
It looks like you’ve got more to talk about than just his past now.
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simpee9000 · 5 months ago
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Not Just Friends - 2 -
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Prologue : Chapter 1 : Not edited : 3.4k words : M.List
Childhood best friends turned into something more, at least with the label. Katsuki Bakugo, a fast-rising hero and fast-learning guy who is ever so slow in getting attached to and loving someone. Even three long years into a relationship, and your friends even forget you're even dating. Nothing happening, spare a few kisses.. like 3 kisses, during high school. Graduated and living together, and you guys have done absolutely nothing to further the relationship. Are you sure you're not just friends? CW: Smut, brief domestic violence discussion, virginity loss, aggressive flirting from creeps, gore with pro hero stuff (lmk if i missed any) Applies to all chapters regardless of it is in said chapter.
---
-suit colors -can shut my quirk completely off -isn't a piece of shit -password. -others cant turn my shit off either      -katsuki
The note Katsuki left was majority scribbles, clearly written the second he left. You found it right when you were leaving, the crumpled sticky note being placed next to your keys.
Getting the watch set up and made for him would be difficult. Mainly making sure others can't tamper with his quirk. Everything else would be easy. Two weeks tops. Simply needed to take the same material used for his gloves and gauntlets and use it for his watch. The password and personal quirk disabled features would also be easy, just using the same techniques that normal quirk handcuffs use.
When you got to your office you immediately got to work. Drawing up the design and adding in the small details you wanted to add. You went through your email as well, getting the details Izuku sent you about what he wants. Unluckily for him, you would have to order the stuff he needs, everything Katsuki needed was already in the building. His case was personally yours so you saved up any left over materials from his suit. The quirk removing feature would take more time to set up though.
---
"Hey!" someone shouted, tacking your name to the end.
You just entered Katsuki's hero agency for lunch, talking with the sweet old receptionist. Ignoring the shout, you thanked the lady for buzzing you up. Walking over to the elevators and pushing the button to go up.
"Don't ignore me!" The voice whined. You rolled your eyes stepping into the elevator and frantically clicking the button to close the doors.
The doors almost shut completely, a hand stopping it a second to late and getting crushed.
"Fuckin' christ!" You opened the door as quick as you could, trying to make sure they weren't injured. They were doubled over, holding their hand to their chest. "Are you okay?" You asked, grabbing their shoulder to lift them away, attempting to see the injury.
They started shaking and panic ran through you, before you could yell to the receptionist to call paramedics they started laughing. Standing up straight and smiling, placing their 'injured hand' on your shoulder to support their laughter.
"Oh go fuck yourself," you brushed them off. Pressing the elevator open again.
"I'm sorry it was too easy!" He smiled. Moving to stand next to you again.
You ignored him once again. Stepping into the elevator that he unfortunately joined. Looking at the door that previously crushed his hand. "You broke the door," you pointed out, crossing your arms.
"Holy shit, Bakugo is going to kill me," he paled.
"That's what you get for activating your quirk between metal, Kirishima," you commented.
"Ouch, last name?" he feigned pain, clutching a hand to his heart, "Come on, how was I supposed to know?"
You glanced at him briefly, "You nickname your quirk unbreakable, what did you expect?" You deadpanned.
"Not that!"
"Be serious, I know you're not that dumb," you said, stepping out of the elevator at Katsuki's floor. Beginning the path to his office.
"I just wanted to talk to you," he complained, "but you ignored me completely."
"I wonder why."
"Come on," he pleaded, "I said I was sorry."
"Don't care," you knocked on Katsuki's office.
"Please," he begged.
"No."
Just as Kirishima opened his mouth to beg more, Katsuki opened his door. "The fuck are you two bitching about?" Katsuki looked at you for an answer. Which you shrugged and made your way inside. Sitting in his desk chair and sorting through the food he ordered for you two.
Katsuki turned his head to Kirishima, wanting an answer. "She won't talk to me," he pointed at you like a child.
Katsuki turned to you, raising an eyebrow, "Really?"
Before he could start getting to you about acting like a child you pointed back at Kirishima, "He broke your elevator."
He glared at the red head.
"I was just trying to talk to her!"
"And you needed to break my elevator to do that?"
Kirishima paused his comeback, knowing anything he wanted to say would be flawed. You choked back a laugh, cause Katsuki to turn to you.
"Don't act like you're innocent," he pointed, "All ya had to do was to talk him and my door wouldn't be broken."
"Nah, he broke my shit," you shrugged.
"I said I was sorry!"
"Yet now you just broke his shit too," you backed.
"What else did he break?" Katsuki asked.
You pointed towards Kirishima, and his hero outfit, "He broke his shoulder guards, again. I've fixed them five times this month because of the stupid shit he is doing."
"Whatever, out," Katsuki motioned for Kirishima to leave. Which he did, with a pout on his face. Katsuki shut the door and walked over. "Why do you insist on stealing my chair everytime?"
"The other ones aren't comfortable," you answered, handing him his food and opening yours to start eating. "Oh!" You perked up, "I finished the design for your watch, just need everything ordered and I'll start on it."
He took a break from his food, looking up at you, "How long?"
"Shipment should get here in two days, they just had a huge order and have a ton of left overs, so I'm using the stuff they have extras of. Wanna see the design?" You smiled, pulling up a picture on your phone when he nodded.
He looked over the notes you wrote down, zooming in on the smaller details, "looks good."
"Good!" You smiled.
His office door opened, "I forgot, we're having a little get together at Denki's place Saturday," Kirishima smiled before shutting the door again.
"No."
"Come on Kats," you begged, trying to meet his eyes.
"Nuh uh," he took a bite of his food, looking up briefly and meeting your eyes.
"Please! We haven't hung out with them in forever!" You pointed out.
"We hung out last night."
"Yeah, with Z', not with your friends."
"No."
He glared at you until he felt your hand rest on the top of his, "Please?"
"Fuckin' fine," he brushed off your hand and continued eating.
---
"This is lot more then a little get together," Katsuki grumbled right after pushing the door open. Disregarding a knock all together and walking straight in, taking a pause in his step.
You took a glance over his shoulder, since he took up the majority of the small hallway that started off the apartment, seeing the solid twenty or more people that crowded Denki's and Sero's apartment. "It's fine, it's not like we are forced to stay long," you pushed his back lightly, getting him to walk in entirely.
"Kacchan! Surprised you came!" Denki smiled once he saw Katsuki leave the hallway, you stepping out from behind him. "Thanks for dragging him here," Denki came up to you, giving you a one armed hug since his other hand was holding a beer.
"What else am I good for," you joked, "Didn't you say this was a small get together?"
"I was just trying to increase the odds of #2 pro hero coming in," he shrugged, Katsuki shooting him a glare and you a look, saying he wished he never came. "Now make yourselves at home, I gotta make sure Mina doesn't eat all the jello shots."
You watched Denki skip to the kitchen, instantly yelling at a stuffed faced Mina. Looking around the room you saw Sero sitting in a chair with two open spots next to it, turning back to Katsuki, he already knew your look, "Go, I'll get you a drink."
Sero saw you heading his way and gave you a wave. He was sitting in a recliner and had a loveseat spaced next to it. You took the loveseat and leaned on the armrest close to him, kicking your feet unto the other half of the couch to prevent someone stealing Kats spot.
"How's work?" Sero asked once you gave him your attention.
"Good, busy as always. But I've been ahead of the game lately, I think I can start branching out more on my own soon," you smiled.
"Exciting," he smiled, " I see you got the grump outside for once," he nodded to Katsuki, who was being badgered by some of Denki's sidekicks/partners.
You laughed, "Yeah, you're not the first to tell me that tonight, but I'm not surpised. He went out with me last night to Z' as well."
"Did you drug him? I won't snitch."
"No, I think his mom yelled at him or something," you pretended to expose. Hiding the truth behind Katsuki's behavior, which was likely the civilian death he had to deal with recently. "But how's your work?"
"Meh, it's hero work," he drank from his cup, "Recently had to deal with a spider villain so it was weird. It was like fighting myself if I had eight legs and eyes."
The two of you continue to talk about work or recent things between friends. Briefly discussing Kirishima and Mina's budding relationship that's been going on for years. Just before Sero could question your own relationship, Katsuki came back.
"Fuckin' nerds wouldn't leave me alone," he grumbled picking up your legs and sitting on the couch with you, handing you a drink.
"You love the attention," you bumped him with your knee, "and careful, might summon them again."
Casual conversation formed once again, banter between you and Katsuki, and annoyance from him to Sero. On the heated topic of old heroes. With Sero caring less, and just wanting to rile him up.
You smiled along with their conversation, more focus on Katsuki. He's rested into the chair despite being annoyed at the conversation. Having a hand rested on your knee and the other rested on the armrest, holding a low carb beer. Which he took a sip of every once in a while before he had to tell Sero he was wrong again. You admired every move of his, from his sharp jaw, to defined cheekbones, and his bright red eyes. Only stopping when Sero called you out.
"Stop eye fucking in front of me," Sero gagged.
"The fuck?" Katsuki question, not ever aware of what you were doing, "We're not."
"You might not be," Sero smirked.
"Oh fuck you, Sero," you rolled your eyes. Ignoring the blush you felt heating your face.
"Don't push your feelings onto me," Sero teased.
"Oh my god," you groaned, " I give up." Sero crackled as he laughed at you. "Shouldn't you be talking about your dumbass celebrity crush in America?"
"Who's that?" Katsuki questioned, willing to change the topic of conversation again.
"He has a crush on an actor, Ryan Reynolds. The one that reenacts the old anti-hero Deadpool," you informed.
"It's normal in America! Every guy loves him, even the straightest!" Sero defends.
"You do know the murders that Deadpool committed right?" Katsuki questioned, wanting to get on the topic of heroes, a topic he knew everything about.
The debate between whether Deadpool committed crimes for good or not was easily started. Giving yourself another chance to look at Katsuki. Not wanting to be caught you looked at the hand rested on your knee. Reaching out your own hand to trace over his. Soft and smooth from his sweat but rough from the work day. He let his hand lose the soft grip on your knee, letting you hold his entire hand freely. You traced over the rough pads of his fingers that you knew would turn soft again in the morning. Rubbing your thumb over his knuckles and the veins that lined the top of his hand. Remembering how a few years ago he would freak out if you tried to do this exact thing. Only this year has he started to let you hold his hand for longer than five minutes.
Yet he still wasn't perfect. Eventually he pulled his hand from your grip and wiped his hands off on his pants. It seemed like he didn't want your touch on him, it stung. You knew that was unlikely, but the thought couldn't leave your mind. you folded up. Crossing your arms slowly and turning your attention back onto Sero. Which caused his eyes to flicker between you and Katsuki, clearly reading your face. Before he could ask anything, he gave him a slight shake of your head.
Eventually Kirishima dragged Katsuki away from the conversation, wanting him as a partner for cup flipping.
"How come you aren't flirting with girls, Sero?" you asked, used to him normally parading the party rooms for someone to flirt with.
"Denki called dibs on everyone here basically," Sero shrugged. He sat up from his slouched sitting, " Now, what the fuck was that?" Sero motioned from you to where Katsuki was now playing games with Kirishima.
Play dumb.
"Whatcha mean?" you took a sip of your drink.
"Don't play that shit with me, He pulled away from you completely," he pointed out.
"I know, he always does that," you pointed out, wanting to stress that this wasn't a big deal.
"Always? You're kidding"
"Nope," you took a sip, "He's actually improved."
"You're saying it used to be worse," His jaw basically dropped.
"It's Katsuki you're talking about right now," you deadplanned, "Speaking of which, we never talked about this. He doesn't know it bugs me and he doesn't need to."
"Yes he does," Sero stressed.
"No he doesn't," you hissed, " I don't want him knowing. It's fine."
"Come on-"
"Sero, stop."
Before he could push forward someone entered your peripheral, standing in front of Katsuki's spot. Turning your head towards him you gave a guarded smile.
"This seat takin?" he somewhat slurred.
"Yeah it-"
"Kidding! I know it's not. No one has sat here for a good 10 minutes from what I've seen," The guy plopped down on the couch, giving you barely enough time to kick your feet off the couch and scoot over the crowd the armrest into order to not touch the guy. You and Sero shared a look. "So, what's a girl like you doing here alone," The guy smiled, slapping a hand down on your thigh to gain your attention back from Sero.
"I'm not alone?" you peeled his hand from your thigh, dropping it back onto his lap, "I was actually just talk to my friend here abo-"
He put his hand back on your thigh, "I was asking why you had no boyfriend here, you're so pretty."
"I do have one-" you tried to cut in.
"I'll be your boyfriend, names Mason," he smiled weirdly.
Once again, you peeled his hand off your leg, "No thanks."
"Is it cause the name? I'm from America, I'm not lying about my name to sound cool," he hurried out, replacing his hand on your thigh.
"Trust me, I know you're not trying to sound cool," you spoke out disgust, "Now could you please not?" Sero and you shared another look, his asking if he should step in, but you shook your head. You could handle this just fine.
He pondered for a moment, "It's cause you don't know me right? Well, I'm from America. Here to learn about the Japanese heroes-"
"Dude," you cut him off, "I could give less of a fuck, please leave me alone."
"Don't play hard to get," he grabbed onto your leg harder.
Just before Sero jumped in-
"I leave for five fucking minutes," Katsuki spits out.
The guy looked over the back of the couch, "Sorry, did you plan to make a move? I swung first sorry dude, better luck next time."
"No, I fuckin' plan to swing first on the dude that's holding onto my fuckin' girlfriend."
You took the opportunity of the guy being distracted to get his hands off you, and to leave the couch.
"Hey, babe don't leave yet, the guys just being an ass, he'll leave soon," the creep called out to you.
Everyone's attention was on the guy now. Staring at him baffled that he called #2 pro hero an ass right in front of him and his girlfriend. You stepped closer to Sero, prepared for what was about to happen.
"That's it," Katsuki grabbed the hair on the back of the guys head and yanked him down. Couch flipping over with the guy. A quick stomp on the dude stomach had him rolling over in enough pain.
"My couch!" Denki yelped.
"Fuck your couch and fuck your party," Katsuki walked up to you, grabbed your hand and pulled you to leave.
"Gimme a second, I want to say bye," you tugged on his hold when he got to the hallway that lead to the front entrance.
He looked at you baffled, "You just got felt up, they could care less if you said bye right now."
"Kats, I'm fine. I would of handled it if you didn't."
"Fine, say bye," he waved you off, crossing his arms and guarding the exit.
You walked up to where Kirishima, Sero, and Denki were standing watching drunk Mina lecture the creep.
"Hey, I'm heading out," you spoke from behind them, getting their attention.
"That's fine girl, Imma kick his ass more for you," Mina slurred as she jumped to hug you, almost knocking you off your feet. She pulled back from the hug and held onto your shoulders, "You okay?"
"Yeah," you nodded, getting her out of your hold and pushing her into Kirishima, "Make sure she doesn't do something stupid."
"I will, I'll deal with the guy too. What he did was fucking gross," you flinched, it was rare to hear Kirishima curse.
"I bet you will," laughed off. Hugging Sero and thanking Denki for inviting you, all of them double checking if you were okay. It warmed your heart that they were heroes, it was truly the right career. So after confirming that you were fine, you walked back to Katsuki.
"Done?"
"Yep," you put your shoes back on and left the apartment together.
Once in his car, Katsuki turned to you. "You sure you're okay? I'll go put the guy in fucking jail."
You laughed, "I'm fine, Kirishima has it handled."
"You sure?"
"It's not the worst thing a guy has said to me," you shrugged, "Can we get some fast food?"
"The fuck else has a guy said to you?"
"Nothing important Kats, can we drop it? I'm fine."
He eyed you warily, trying to find the correct way to go about this. He sighed and gave in, "What fast food?"
"I don't know, I want a shake."
---
The two of you got the food and cozied on your couch, digging in once you had a random Netflix movie playing. With half of your attention on the movie, and half on the situation, you decided to bring it up. "Is it weird that what the guy did doesn't bug me much?"
Katsuki glance your way, "No? Everyone has different reactions to everything."
"The main thing that bugs me is that people can't tell we are dating, like ever," you said honestly. "Like the dude didn't buy I had a boyfriend in general."
He hummed in reply.
"Our own friends forget half the time, like I wish they knew we were together, and took my word for it," you sighed.
"I know how you feel," Katsuki looked down at his hands, that held his half eaten burger.
"Even you feel that way?" you grabbed a couple fries to eat.
He looked at you, "The other night with that Nana girl, just wished it was more obvious."
"We can't blame them though, it's not like we act like a traditional couple," you shrugged and took a sip of your shake.
"Sorry," shame filled his voice.
You turned to him with you're full attention, "Why are you sorry? You haven't done anything?
"That's the issue," he crossed his arms," I don't do anything, I fucking brush you off me," he dropped his arms again. resting them on his knees and putting his face in his hands.
"Hey," you reached for his shoulder. Stopping when he flinched away from you, "Sorry," you mumbled. Forgetting he hates being sneaked up on or touched when he isn't paying attention.
"This is exactly what I'm talking about, I don't do anything but pull away from you. And you're honestly telling me you're fucking happy in this relationship?" Katsuki looked at you. Getting up to pace when you just stared at him, confused by his outburst.
"Are you not?" you asked, watching him pace the room.
He paused, "Why wouldn't I be? You give me everything I need. I don't even fucking acknowledge your primary love language while you hit every goal of mine."
"Kats, what I said to the girls the other night is the truth, I'm okay with it. The things you need are just as important, and if that's to not touch, that's fine."
"Fucking bullshit-"
"Katsuki," you said his name sharply, "I mean it."
"I don't know how-"
"That doesn't matter, you're worried I'm unhappy and I'm telling you that I am happy. Because I am, now can we please not get into this right now? Tonight already hasn't gone well."
"Fuck, you're right, I'm sorry," he rubbed his hands over his face and went back to his spot of the couch. leaving his food half touched. He opened his arms, "You can lay on me if you want."
"Katsuki, I told you, no physical touch is-"
"That's not what I'm getting at, c'mere," he motioned towards himself. And who were you to refuse, quickly curling up into his side and watching a movie to wash the bad day off you're mind.
-Next Part-
In them m.list of this fic comment if you want to be added into a tag list <3
I'll no longer add people to the taglist if they haven't commented there. It's too much to keep up with all the new part. Hope you understand <3
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annadiplosis · 2 months ago
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A few months ago I posted a couple photos of my index cards, saying I still didn’t know how and where I’d keep them, and I’ve since developed an Archiving System that combines the cards with a digital spreadsheet and has taken more hours than I will ever admit.
So, since I don’t have a “notebook system” to speak of, I'd like to share the way I archive my journals / sketchbooks / whatever you wanna call them, because I’m very proud of it, and who knows, someone might find it helpful :)
WHY I NEED AN ARCHIVING SYSTEM
The reason I don’t have a notebook system is because I use my books for absolutely everything, from sketches to grocery lists and journaling. It is crucial to me to not have any restrictions or expectations when it comes to my books, and that’s how I’ve managed to fill 43 of them over the years.
But of course, when you’ve been using notebooks without a system for most of your life and you want to read a specific entry, you can easily spend a full hour flipping through a sea of paper until you stumble upon those notes on the Bubonic Plague you took in 2011 or whatever you were trying to find.
SO HERE’S WHAT I DO
When I finish a notebook, I try to determine what its most important contents are: stuff I might want to reference in the future (project ideas, meeting notes) or is very characteristic of a period in my life (friends' drawings, travel logs). Every single page contributes to making the notebook what it is and gives it a unique personality, but not all of them are gonna be keepers, and that's fine (I'd even say fundamental, at least in my case).
These are the extremely generic categories I sort my Chosen Entries into. It's similar to the dot system so many people use, just applied retroactively:
🟣 Study notes 🔵 Work 🟢 Personal 🟡 Projects 🔴 Misc
And here's where the real archiving begins. This info goes into:
1. THE INDEX CARDS
(I always write them in Catalan; this one's a mockup and most of these are not real entries)
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A little piece of cardboard with the notebook number, its start and end dates, and most important contents. I keep each index card inside its corresponding notebook, either in its own backpocket or an adhesive one I stick there myself.
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This way, whenever I want to take a quick look through the book, I get a general idea of its contents at first glance. Sometimes, just holding it in my hand and reading the index card brings me back to the time when I was keeping it, and that time-travel feeling gives me a rush like no other. I don't know if you can tell, but I'm crazy about my notebooks.
2. THE SPREADSHEET
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Same as before, just a couple more pieces of info (number of months, physical description) added to a file with the rest of my notebooks' data. Again, these are not real entries for privacy and language reasons, but they're very similar to the kind of stuff I do keep. The spreadsheet helps me find specific entries with a simple ctrl+f, and it's also a bird's-eye view of my progress through the years as a notebook keeper. I can see when my interests shift, how long some of my most important projects took to come to fruition, and even similar types of entries that repeat every few years which I wasn't even aware of before putting it all together. Absolutely fascinating stuff.
I hope this was useful, or interesting at the very least! If you’re a notebook keeper trying to find their own archiving system, my main advice would be to start early so you don’t have to deal with almost two decades of material like I did :’)
If you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask.
Good luck 🖤
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clanwarrior-tumbly · 1 year ago
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Spooky season needs spooky stuff.. >:3
So can I request the digital circus cast (minus Caine)meeting a Child Spirit Y/n headcanons,who like Kinda possesed/went inside the game to find they’re killer for some reason? They are eerily quiet and like to stare but if talked to very sweet but quick to snap in distrust because..well trust is what got them killed in the first place? They’re a bit bloody..and a eyeball sometimes hangs out?? Like vhs horror stuff
Sorry I’m being so descriptive,I hope you are a nice day!
OOOoo yes time for more spooks!
Also I am having a nice night, thanks! (and I hope you are having a nice day/night too!)
......
Pomni
To make a long story short, you got murdered while wearing the headset, and that tethered your spirit to TADC.
As expected, you lost memories of who you were--except for the knowledge that someone killed you because you trusted them too much, and you believed the answers were inside this very game.
Your character ends up looking like a child's ghost costume: a white bedsheet stained in blood and one of your eyeballs occasionally wanting to pop from its socket.
Caine (who was very much bewildered at your arrival) declares that you're part of an "exclusive Halloween update" and changes up the tent and grounds to have more spooky flair.
But Pomni clearly wants no part of it, and she can tell you don't either.
You're clearly a kid who is (somehow) handling the situation of being stuck in this game better than her, yet when she tries asking you about it....all you do is stare back.
She swears she can hear static noises and whispers she can't decipher--all in all getting a...very creepy vibe from you.
Initially she decides to keep her distance, afraid you were secretly some virus or Abstraction underneath that sheet.
But that changes when you're walking by the rooms one night, and you pass by Pomni's door, hearing her quietly crying.
Although you weren't inclined to get close to anybody here, you were concerned. And since you weren't actually coded into the game, you didn't have to follow any of its rules--and that allowed you to enter her room without a key.
At first you scared the shit out of her, but after realizing it's you, she lets you sit beside her, eventually venting about how badly she missed her real home.
"Everyone keeps telling me "oh this place is so much better" or "get used to it"...but what if I don't wanna do that? I don't care if my old life was bad...I-I can't take anymore of this.." Her sobs grow louder. "I wanna wake up in my own bed knowing my real name!!"
"...I miss home, too," is all you say in response. Yet it's more than enough to calm her down.
For once, you're not trying to brush her off or force her to "cheer up" and accept her reality. You made her feel heard.
"Yeah..me, too....sh-should I thank you for agreeing..?" She sniffles, seeing your subtle nod, before you leave her be, not wanting to get too attached.
Ironically, she was able to sleep a little easier after talking to you.
Jax
From the get-go, he's gonna be real nosy and curious.
Since not even Caine himself expected your arrival and found out that you don't follow the "rules" like everyone else...Jax is gonna try his damnedest to understand you and see what makes you tick.
But he's gonna be disappointed quickly since you don't respond much to him (or anybody in general).
"So...ya like Halloween?"
"........"
"....thought so. Good talk, new kid."
You definitely act like a legit ghost--doing nothing but stare, move things around, and pop up unexpectedly.
Eventually, his curiosity leads to him visiting your room (which has no key), and he discovers many drawings on the walls.
Most depicting a dead person wearing a headset.
What he found most disturbing was a journal that contained his and the others' names..
From what he's gathering...you're suspecting one of them of murdering your real world-self.
But he doesn't get much time to ponder this as you show up, angry at him for intruding.
You make yourself look even bloodier and scarier, with both of your eyeballs hanging from their sockets and staring at him.
"Get out."
Those two simple words put the fear of god in him.
Jax runs out faster than a jackrabbit, colliding with Gangle in the process. Her comedy mask falls off again, but he catches it and looks at her.
"J-Jax..?" She realizes his fur is standing up on all ends, and he looks terrified....even more than he did after realizing the circus was his forever home.
But he just shoves the mask back into her hands and leaves without saying a word.
He never speaks of what he found in your room that day.
Kinger
He thought his eyes were weird...until you came along and periodically had to put your own eyeball back into its socket.
"It's good to know I'm not alone!" He nervously chuckles, only to be met with your eerie silence.
Sometime later, he suggests showing you his insect collection, and it does pique your interest.
You did love all things "creepy" and "crawly".
Yet you're adamant about going to his pillow fortress after he invites you.
It reminds you of the ones you used to build all the time, up until...
Fortunately, Kinger recognizes your reluctance and just brings one of his bug boxes to you so you can look at it.
He could infodump about the various critters for hours, with nothing but nods and quiet "mhms" from you, and he's happy.
In general, he doesn't mind your quiet personality.
Although you still sometimes jumpscare him unintentionally like Gangle often does.
Tbh he's a good father figure and recognizes that you're just a kid who got trapped in this game unfairly.
Even so, you try to keep your distance and looks at him suspiciously if he starts acting too nice.
He was quiet aloof, and you weren't sure how he would act on any given day.
Gangle
After accidentally spooking her (by simply existing in the same room as her), she breaks her comedy mask off.
But immediately she feels guilty for screaming and tries scrambling to fix it, hoping you weren't mad at her.
Yet all you do is stare, not looking angry or anything at all (it's hard for any of the performers to see your expression in general, aside from your hanging eye, but still).
Poor Gangle is just afraid you'd turn into a scarier version of yourself.
When she keeps cutting her ribbon fingers(?) on the ceramic pieces, you come over and clean it up for her, taking it away despite your own hands bleeding.
The implications that you were able to shed blood and nobody else were a little disturbing to her..but she's glad you're not offended by her screaming.
Although she wonders where you're going with her mask..
Later on, you knock on her door and present it fully fixed.
Except...it looks more Halloweenish with an evil smile painted on it, messily glued together.
'Oh god I hope this doesn't turn me evil or anything..' She thinks, putting on a smile as she takes it anyways.
Yet you remain where you are, staring and clearly waiting for her to try it on.
And so she does, and it turns her into a very chaotic Halloween lover, acting even more mischievous than Jax and allowing her to finally get her revenge for all his pranks.
In the end, you gain a decent friendship with her, subtly protecting her from Jax's bullying.
Ragatha
Seeing that you're so distant from the rest of the gang has her worried.
Some of them might consider your loose eyeball creepy, but she's not gonna judge you on that (besides, she's missing an eye altogether so she can't say much anyways).
Howeve,r she's the first to find out how strong your distrust of everyone is.
"[Y/n]? I don't think it's good to be isolating yourself like this. I know you hate being here and Caine's a weirdo..but...we're all in this together. You can trust us-"
"Don't." You warn, putting on a frightening display of anger that sends her tumbling to the ground, sending chills up her spine.
"Trust" became something you didn't take lightly, as the last time you put your trust in someone....you ended up dead, turning into a literal ghost in the machine (that was your gaming system).
Despite this, Ragatha doesn't run away.
Like Pomni, she understands that you're just a kid who's confused and lost.....and clearly had serious trust issues.
But she's determined to help you through that, even if you keep scaring everybody away.
She's got motherly instincts, and she hopes that in due time you'll learn to warm up to her.
Zooble
"A bedsheet worn as a costume? That's a classic."
She's seen weirder things during their time in the circus, so you don't faze her too much.
Only when you snap at Ragatha or somebody who was trying to be nice to you does she raise an eyebrow.
Honestly, they 100% understand that you just wanted to be alone sometimes, and she respects that.
It's suffocating trying to act all cheery and go along with every damn activity Caine tries to get everyone involved in (but lucky for you, he can't make you follow along).
Especially since she believes he made up that stupid "Halloween update" as lazy way to explain your sudden arrival.
The only time you do interact with Zooble is after she yanks Jax by his ears, and they hear this eerie-sounding giggle behind them.
When she turns around, you're just standing there motionless, staring at her.
Somehow, they just know you were smiling underneath that costume, which makes her smile, too.
"Maybe I should pull him out a hat next time, huh?" She jokes after letting him go, and you giggle once more as he hits the ground.
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kkenma666 · 4 months ago
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(방찬) bang chan.. my dear
gender neutral reader
angst w happy ending, messy break up, miscommunication
the door opened slowly, blonde hair peeking in. chan came home expecting to see you waiting for him on the couch as always but was instead greeted by a dark room and cold silence.
weird.. he thought to himself. maybe you were just tired and went to bed. yeah, like you would always do lately..
he can't lie, he missed you waiting for him on the couch, a blanket draped over your body as you tried your hardest to focus on whatever was playing on the tv.
the way that your sleepiness would instantly disappear the moment you saw him, you immediately springing from your laying positions to greet him with a warm hug.
in fact, he noticed how your hugs had become shorter as if you were forcing your arms to wrap around him. the warmth you used to radiate is now gone.
he also noticed how your kiss which was filled with love and passion was now nothing but a quick peck on his lips.
it can't be.. can it?
chan splashed his face with water, trying to rid himself off of the negative thoughts. it's normal for every relationship to have its ups and downs. this will only be a temporary obstacle in your relationship.
or so he thought.
lately, he's been forced to work overtime causing him to come home later than usual. his work also has been piling up, from one piece of paperwork to another.
chan let out a loud sigh as he shut the door closed, wanting nothing more than to lay in bed and sleep all day long.
he wasn't expecting you to be there waiting for him, yet a small part of him still expects you to be there waiting for him.
he walked through the cold hallway, his hands twitching to get hold of you in his arms. god, he missed your warmth.
yesterday you were suddenly so.. loving with him. his fear was proven wrong as he realized that maybe he was just being overdramatic.
you even gave him a sincere and long hug after weeks of seemingly insincere ones, spouting about how much you love him, to the moon and back.
however, he was shocked to not find you on the bed dozing off. weird.. its fine, you're probably just in the bathroom right? he stormed off to your shared bathroom to find you also not there.
where could you be?
he tries not to overthink, his hand immediately grabbing his phone to dial you up. maybe you just went to the nearby convenience store.
only for his fears to worsen when he saw how he had been blocked by you.
he immediately searched the whole house for you, just now noticing how most of your stuff is already gone. " no no no.. oh god. i fucked up. "
⊹₊⋆
the grandeur hall was filled with people with status and wealth. their clothing and their mannerisms already proved that they were a level above.
each of them all held their bidder number, hands itching to take home the next prize that was soon to come.
finally, a big painting rolled out, all eyes focused on it.
" ladies and gentlemen, this is out last item of the day. this is one of yn ln's precious new work! with this being the last one sold for this specific collection. "
the massive painting revealed an abstract drawing of two figures hugging, one's face was buried into the other's neck, with his broad shoulder facing the viewer.
you watched from the balcony above, swirling your champagne. a sad look in your eyes as you think back about the inspiration for the painting.
it was an abstract depiction of the last hug you and your past lover shared. he was also your very first and last lover.
the painting was mainly blue and white, to resemble the somber mood. though you added in a few golden touches.. a sense of hope that one day the two of you could start over.
after the breakup, you still very vividly remember how he asked you for one last hug before you went. he clung to you like a koala, knowing if he let go he would lose you.
you originally didn't intend to sell the painting, wanting to just let it rot in your studio. though you couldn't handle seeing that massive painting every time you were in your studio.
so you auctioned it off.
after that breakup you decided to move back to australia, opting to focus on your painting career and building a name for yourself.
and after blood, sweat, and tears here you are. wealthy scums all itching to buy your painting, no matter how overpriced it was.
you took a sip from your glass as you watched your favorite part, the bidding.
" 3.5 million! ", it started off strong.
" 5 million! " one chimed.
" 8 million! " another.
" 10 million! " and another.
today was a bit more competitive than the other days, every one of them determined to get that painting of yours.
the biddings went on till a woman bid 50 million. moments when on, no other bidders put up a fight as if they feigned defeat.
" 70 million. "
gasps and murmurs could be heard from around the room. you nearly spat your drink out when you heard that.
no way was someone willing to spend 70 million on a random painting that only you and maybe your ex would understand. unless..
" ..then it's sold to mr. christopher bahng for 70 million! "
applause filled the room but that was all muffled as you could only focus on the man down below. your mouth was agape as your champagne glass slowly started slipping from your hand.
after all these years you never expected to see him again. much less buying a painting about both of your tragic endings.
the sound of glass shattering shocked the audience as they all clutched their pearls in fear a thief broke in.
but soon they began clapping again once they saw you, the artist themself, standing above them with a shocked look.
you quickly composed yourself and tried to play along, giving courtesy to the crowd.
yet your eyes were locked onto one person only. the very man who bought your painting.
he also applauded you while giving you that same gentle smile he would always give to you.
you quickly exited the room, needing a breath of fresh air to refresh your cluttered mind. he was back in australia and had just purchased one of your pieces.
the very man you've been avoiding.
after all this year of you healing and focusing on yourself, just for him to show up again. but were you really healed?
your mind still wonder back to him no mater what. no matter how long time passed his face kept appearing in your head. the bittersweet memories of your relationship replaying like a broken record.
" ugh fuck. do i have to attend the after party with him in it..? "
⊹₊⋆
christopher banhg was the only thing on your mind that night.
you dreaded coming to the after-party in general. the thought of having to entertain thos rich snobs for hours on end just did not seem appealing at all. and add your ex into the mix and congrats, your head feels like it's about to burst open!
but you can't lie about how your heart beats faster whenever you think of meeting him. just the sheer thought of stumbling into him gets your heart racing and you dont know if its in a good way or the bad way.
you tugged on your clothing, sweat already starting to form from how nervous you were. you fixed your hair and fixed the makeup on your face.
you can't believe this.
you usually never really tried this hard when going to an after party but here you were. all dolled up just because your ex was here.
' it's okay. you're just doing this because someone paid 70 million for your work.. that's a pretty high price for something you originally wanted to throw away. '
a stuffed smile plastered on your face as you conversed with random people. the ladies' hands touching you all over without consent.
all you wanted to do was go home and lay in your bed. yet you know you can't go back because you haven't seen hum yet.
" today's auction was another successful one, yn! " you bowed your head in response. " of course. with loyal bidders like you all my works are bound to sell with a high price. " laughters was shared among the patrons from your comment.
" yes yes, we will loyally wait for your next bid. "
your cheeks were starting to hurt from straining a smile all night long, maybe he didn't even come to the after-party. maybe you were just delusional.
an all too familiar laughter was heard behind you.
your head spun around way too fast for your own liking.
your eyes intertwined with his after god knows how long. you took in his features and realized he looked all the same. the only thing that changed was his hair and how he looked older and somehow more attractive.
" oh mr bahng! i didn't take you for a bidder. especially on that would spend 70 million in a night alone. " one of the men spoke. he chuckled, his dimples showing while shrugging. " pocket change. "
you were standing before him and the rest of the group, the random ladies still latching onto you. you tried to take this chance as an escape.
you nudged their hands off of you, " well, i will get going now. still have others to entertain. " a nod of understanding were sent to you. you tried to rush past him, only for him to hold onto your wrist.
" a word with the artist? "
⊹₊⋆
you guided him to the second floor that's only accessible to you and some of your staff. you presented him with your favorite spot in there, the balcony.
it offers a breathtaking view of the night sky, with stars sprinkled in the dark blanket. below it was the city lighting up the night. further proving how the city doesn't sleep at night.
he stood behind you, gathering up what to say to you. you yourself didn't even know what to say to him. all those countless nights spent thinking about him just for you to not be able to look at him in the eyes.
" i see your career's going well.. i've always known you'd make it big. " a soft smirk crept up on your face. god he's still the same, isn't he?
" well look at you now mister big shot. " you finally had the courage to turn around to look at him in the eyes and oh, you might get lost in them. the breathtaking view of the night sky could never compete with his eyes.
bang chan stared at you in silence, his dimples poking through his milky white cheeks. he never forgot what you looked like since the day you left him, clinging onto whatever's left of you as if his life depended on it.
the two of you stared at each other, anticipating breath. both of you were twitching to ravage one another but you knew it was so so wrong, yet so tempting.
that is until you crashed your lips onto his, perfectly molding into his. it was as if it found its long-lost home again, so foreign yet so familiar.
his hands immediately found their way onto your waist, your hands snaking around his back and onto his neck. you gripped him as if he would disappear if you were to let go. who knows maybe he might.
time went by so slowly, as if the earth stopped spinning just for this moment alone.
you pulled back first, drowning yourself in oxygen. you didn't even know what to say to him, only holding him close as you breathed in his scent.
" i miss you, my dear. "
please read!!
so this might be my last kpop fic on this acc but idk yet since i still have one last one in my draft that i might post but here's a sneak peak to my writing for the new followers uwu
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bamboobooshark · 3 months ago
Note
YOUR WADE WILSON X READER STUFF IS SO PERFECT OMG IM EATING IT UP FRFR
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WADE WILSON X READER
‧₊ ᵎᵎ 🍒 ⋅ ˚✮ DOODLES : 580 WRDS
<RATING: PG-13, SOME LANGUAGE>
A/N : HI ANON TYSM FOR THE COMPLIMENT!!! I really am greatful that you and many others have enjoyed my Wade content so much. Also, hey, so could you possibly guess what happens in this? Could youuuu? It’s about Wade being curious about your self-drawn “tattoos”. I swear it’ll make more sense when you read it!!!
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You’re lounging around in your bed like you have been all day. Wade lies next to you while playing some random game on his phone. It’s pretty quiet; the only noises in the room are you and Wade’s breathing and his game. His breaths are more quick and sharp, while yours are shallow and slow. He groans loudly and whines as per usual. “I died again, babe! Can you believe it?” he asks dramatically as he puts his phone down on his nightstand. You crack a small smile that only convinces him to continue. He makes his way to lay his head on your stomach, never ceasing his whining. “Why don’t you care? Why won’t you coddle me like I deserve?” he pouts, putting on his usual act when he wants attention. Wade’s efforts succeed when you let out a soft chuckle and move your arm down to rub his textured chest gently. He lets out an unnecessarily loud sigh before letting his eyes gently close. “Better?” you ask with a smile. "Oh, you bet your ass this is better,” he confirms while leaning into you more by the second.
When Wade opens up his eyes, he stares at your arm in confusion, then up at you. He looks back and forth between them a few times before questioning you. “What’s up with the ink all over your arms, pumpkin? You mapping out some tattoos you wanna get?” You shrug in response. “I just got bored earlier. They’re nothing really,” you tell him sheepishly, slightly embarrassed that he’s so focused on them. His fingers gently trace the set marks on your skin with an intrigued look in his eyes. You feel your cheeks warm more; he’s rarely this careful and quiet with you. You’re so used to him squeezing, pinching, and sometimes gently biting you. His fingers continue to trace the lines as if he were drawing them himself. His hand moves to hold your forearm to get a better look at the doodles. He lets out a curious ‘hmm’ while squinting at your arm. “Oh,” he exclaims while smiling. “These would be really fun to color in,” he says in a tone that begs you to let him. You nod in agreement to his suggestion. “I guess it wouldn’t hurt,” you sigh to him, and he smiles so hard you see his teeth showing.
Wade stays intrigued for the next few hours with coloring on your stick, trying his best to stay inside the lines because, according to him, if you’re going to allow him to color your “sacred silken skin,” then he should at least try to make it look nice. He bites his bottom lip into his mouth and hums for a moment. “Why did you make this one so detailed?” he grunts. “I don’t know. I told you I was just bored. I didn’t expect to end up with you trying to color in every little doodle,” you chuckled while watching him work inside the lines. “You better make these easier to color next time you draw all over yourself,” he mumbles while pouting. “Do you ever stop complaining?” you ask him as a joke. He gasps and squeezes your forearm a bit. “Will you ever stop giving me reasons to complain?” he sasses back. You widen your eyes as you realize he makes a good argument. “Whatever,” you groan in response. He chuckles sweetly as he finishes coloring in the doodle he’d been fussing about, moving on to the next one.
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runningfrom2am · 9 days ago
Text
moon river // part one
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summary: people in lincoln county are dropping dead alongside their livestock, the wells are running dry and children are prompted from their beds to wander unconsciously in the night. billy has been hired as a last resort by the lawmen as a bounty hunter, charged with the task of hunting and killing the witch responsible in exchange for a reward and the clearing of his name. how could he turn that down?
pairing: william h. bonney x fem!reader
wc: 7.6k
masterlists / nav / requests
tags/warnings: witch!reader x bounty hunter!billy, warning for like,,, witchcraft and stuff i suppose?? mentions of death, minor amounts of gore and animal mutilation. devil worship and other supernatural/biblical tea. also angst. probably.
a/n: impulsive new series dw ab it. i'm thinking this'll be only a few parts but based on how long part one is, i don't think that means much lol. buckle in.
my asks are also open to talk about this series! (i do have emoji anons open now too!)
send me any and all of your thoughts! here!
series masterlist // pinterest board // playlist
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The reward had been posted for weeks, and any man who dared to set foot in the woods on the hunt for the witch who had been cursing local crops and killing livestock didn't return at all. Billy was confident, though. He could draw and shoot quicker than anyone, and he had not only been offered the reward, but also the clearing of his name and a clean slate- and damn if that wasn't an impossible offer to turn down. Even if the sheriff was pretty damn desperate in order to seek Billy out unarmed to beg him to go after this witch.
Rifle in hand, he walked for hours hunting for a girl he'd only heard rumours of. Of her pretty hair that fell in enchanting waves and her bright, sparkling eyes that were deceptive in a way that could suck a man in and kill him with nothing more than a quick flick of her wrist. But he'd met plenty of girls like that before. He also heard she was horrid, scary and old and plucked straight from everyone's mother's horror stories passed onto them as children to keep them in their beds at night. In truth, he had no clue what he was walking into.
The forest was quiet today, eerily so, without even the chirping of birds or the wind in the trees to keep him company on the foot journey. Nothing. He wasn't welcome here and something deep inside of him knew it. Walking into a clearing, he gets only the mildest relief as the wind brushes the long grass against his boots and the woods isn't suffocating him any longer. Until the breath is vacuumed straight out of his lungs when he sees the first sign of life in miles.
This girl must be his age, of all the things he heard he didn't truly expect that. It was hard to tell as she was crouched over one of many graves in the open clearing, the sun making her hair glow like it had hand picked that surface to reflect off of. She can't be the witch everyones afraid of. He can even hear her now, the subtle humming of a tune coming from her lips as she laid out flowers from a basket below the shoddy cross. This was just a girl taking care of a forgotten grave, that was all. Despite his better judgement, he wants to believe that.
"Hello?" He calls, tilting his head slightly as he takes a hesitant step closer across the clearing.
You already knew he was there, of course. You could feel the shift in the air when he entered the space a minute or so prior. You turn your head, standing up straight again and brushing off the front of your dress.
"Hello, there." You reply, offering him a small smile as you pick up the basket from your feet. Admittedly, he was the youngest (and handsomest) of the men you assume had come to kill you, but you're surprised the woods had even let him get this close. The forest can see something in him you could not, clearly. Who are you to deny its very will?
The power in your skin thrums like a second heartbeat in your fingertips and against your ribcage, and you bring a hand up to grasp at the crystal hanging around your neck.
He notices the way your hand tightens around the necklace in your fingers almost anxiously, and it makes his own hand subconsciously itch to raise his rifle as he takes another step closer towards you. He swallows, trying his damndest to not show even a flicker of fear behind his eyes. There is none. She's just a girl, he has to convince himself, but you can see it. Feel it in the air around him even as he stands perfectly steady and strong in front of you.
"Who are you?"
A pretty girl, alone in a forest that no-one else dares tread into. It's a curious sight, and it only serves to make him more on edge. No one in their right mind would be in this forest of their own will.
You tilt your head slightly, watching him as he steps closer but making no attempt to move away yourself.
You answer with your name, soft and sweet as honey as you twist the chain around your neck slightly, eyes locked now on the gun in his hands.
"You're..." You pause for a moment to think, taking a deep breath and closing your eyes. "Billy. That's your name, right?"
His hand tightens on his rifle. The feeling of being somewhere he was never supposed to have entered made beads of sweat roll down the back of his neck as he felt the air thicken all around them. "How do you know that?"
You hesitate on how to answer. You can't very well tell him that you felt it, that you just knew. That you just knew he was here to kill you. You are far from the most social of girls, but you had to save face.
"You look like a Billy." You smile softly. "And it's a common enough name, is it not? A safe guess."
His eyes narrow slightly as his grip on the rifle relaxes. You were hiding something, that much was blatantly clear just from looking at your face, but still, he couldn't imagine someone like you to be the reason the townsfolk kept their doors locked and children well away come sundown.
"I suppose." He finally says, a hand coming up from his rifle to pull his low brimmed hat off his head- a small show of reluctant respect. Though, he still keeps his distance.
Your smile relaxes a little bit just as the subtle sounds of birds chirping and the wind through the leaves surrounds you again in background noise. "It suits you." You tell him, grabbing the basket handle with both hands now.
A hint of surprise flickers across his face at the odd compliment, but it fades just as quickly as it appeared. He lets out a hum of acknowledgement, watching you carefully. If he was being honest, he didn't want to believe that the woman in front of him was a witch. You are far more delicate than that.
"What are you doing out here anyway?"
"Oh, well, I was passing through and saw all these graves. I couldn't help but feel they were lacking some flowers." You explain, lying easily and glancing down at the ones you had already spent time laying lavenders over, five or six of them still looking fresh, without as much grass regrowing over the dirt just yet. "Lavender helps with sleep, you know. It ensures a peaceful rest."
He takes a moment to look at the surrounding graves, his stomach twisting at the sight of how many there were. Ten, at least. He'd seen graveyards before, many times, but something about the lack of proper head stones and the makeshift crosses that were just wooden sticks shoved in the dirt made this feel so much darker.
He frowns as he turns his eyes back to you. "Aren't you afraid of what people say about this place? That it's cursed or something."
"Cursed?" You ask, brow furrowing slightly as you look back at him with a slightly confused smile. "It isn't cursed. It's just a forest."
You knew as much as he seemed to that what you were saying wasn't true, but "cursed" was definitely not the right word to describe it. Though, if the townspeople were saying it was cursed, well, it made more sense as to why people came in here intent on killing you more and more recently.
He can't help but notice the way your smile tightens ever so slightly at the comment, like it was forced to remain on your lips in an attempt to keep up appearances when in reality you wanted to do anything but. You were nervous.
"It don't take a genius to figure out that no one goes in these woods alone for no good reason. A lot of people get lost in here. A lot of people don't come back." He can't help but look back at the headstones of people who most likely went missing, forever lost to the forest. To you. "And I ain't ever seen you in Lincoln."
The two of you stand in the clearing for another moment, neither of you speaking. Neither of you moving as the world around the two of you seems to hold its breath. He feels himself wanting to reach out and touch you, like he was in a trance of sorts. He wants to know what you're hiding, he wants to know who you are. A large part of him already knows, subconsciously wishing it wasn't true.
He tears his eyes away, shaking his head. He wasn't here to make friends, he was here for the reward- not to start sympathizing.
"Oh," You reply quietly, unsure what to say as you force yourself to keep your eyes on him instead of looking over at the fresh graves. "I... I am sorry to hear that."
He studies you for a moment, trying to decipher your carefully worded reply. He can't tell if you actually feel sorry for those who came here and never made it out alive, or if you're just trying to cover up the fact that you may be connected to it.
"It's a shame, really. A lot of good men have gone missing out here, never to be seen again."
He looks like he's about to ask another question before he notices the way your knuckles start to turn white from gripping the basket so hard.
"Your hands are shaking." The observation is formed more like a question, an accusing tone you pick up on easily.
You look down at your hands, eyes widening a bit before you tuck them behind your back with the basket. "Oh, uh... sorry. I can't control it sometimes." You admit sheepishly.
He watches the way you try and hide your hands out of view, and it only serves to make him more suspicious of you. Why would the thought of him seeing your hands shaking make you so anxious?
He doesn't call you out on it, though. "What do you mean can't control it sometimes? Are you nervous?"
"I-I just... I haven't eaten yet today. And it runs in my family, you know. Shaky hands." You explain, trying not to sound as nervous as you are.
"You're lying." He accuses, watching your reaction carefully.
As he speaks the previous chirping of the birds and the wind in the trees and in the grass halts in an instant, like the forest itself was tensing with you. You knew what that meant. Your gaze flickers from his face down to the gun in his hands and back quickly as you take a small step back. "I- I'm not, honestly." You reply with a slightly nervous laugh, trying to lighten the atmosphere again and delay the inevitable. Either he wasn't going to hurt you, or he was the one meant to hurt you. It was a mystery of the universe you were less than eager to discover the outcome of.
His eyes flick over to the surrounding trees as the forest goes quiet, as if it was listening- waiting. He grips the rifle a little tighter when you take a step back, his shoulders tensing slightly.
"You're a very bad liar." He responds, his eyes back on you again. The change in your behaviour doesn't go unnoticed by him, as he slowly starts to lift his rifle to an almost aiming position.
"Don't-" You urge him quickly, your eyes going wide again with more urgency as you hold a hand up to try and stop him. In the same moment he starts to lift his gun, the clouds seem to cover the sun and the beautiful beams of light entering the clearly through the trees is all but gone to gray.
His eyes flick up to the sky as the forest is cast into darkness. He isn't an idiot, he doesn't believe that clouds could move across the sky that quickly- only one other thing could make a place this dark this fast.
"...You did that." He points out with an accusatory tone, his eyes back on you as he adjusts the rifle, aiming the barrel straight at you.
You drop the basket, raising your hands as the still air picks up a somewhat electric buzz to it, the sky darkening further. You didn't know what the forest had done to the other men, but you suspected you were about to find out.
"I-I didn't, I haven't done anything. I swear." You promise him, voice shaking a bit.
He holds the gun steadily as he watches you closely, the way your eyes dart around the clearing as if searching for a way out, the way the air is now thick with something that he can't put his finger on. It's something that makes the hairs on the back of his neck stand straight up, it's something that feels dangerous. He's always been attuned to it.
"Don't bullshit me." He says, cocking the rifle with a click. His eyes watch you like a hawk, the barrel of the gun now pointed directly between your bright, enchanting irises.
"I know why you're here." You stammer out quickly, slowly moving your hands out to your sides toward the trees on either side of you as the leaves start to rustle more urgently in the wind. "I mean... I don't know why but I know you're here to kill me, right?"
He tenses slightly as you begin to move your hands toward the trees, his finger hovering dangerously close to the trigger of his rifle. "You have the townsfolk scared shitless. They put a damn price on your head, and word spreads fast." He tilts his head, continuing to watch you intently as the air becomes more and more electric.
"What?" You ask, to him looking genuinely confused as you watch his finger graze over the trigger. "I-I've never even been into town. I've never done anything to them."
The wind picks up then, blowing wickedly through your hair and ruffling the skirts of your dress.
His body tenses at the feeling of the wind blowing so fiercely, the trees beginning to sway with the force of it. The air is thick, almost electric in a way that can't possibly be natural, and he's beginning to realize just what he's gotten himself into.
"You expect me to believe you?" He responds, the barrel of the gun still aimed at your head. He doesn't know why he hasn't fired already, he knows he's staring down the sights of his hunting rifle directly at the witch he was meant to kill. Who has killed six of Lincoln's bravest men and is currently standing over their graves.
When he moves the gun you wince, and the sound of the trees shifting becomes almost more intentional now as you hold your hands up higher at either side of your body. "I-I'll explain... Just... just put down the gun. Please."
"Why should I do that?" He asks, keeping his aim on you despite the trees that now seem so alive all around you- like they were whispering.
"You just have to trust me!" You call out, now that the wind was getting louder and louder, the sky darker as the trees closed in on the two of you, more specifically, the branches reaching for him.
He clocks it quickly; the branches slowly creeping down, the leaves reaching out towards him. It was like they were going to reach out and grab him at any moment, and the idea is making the hair on his arms stand straight up. It wasn't real, he knew better than that.
"How... how are you doing this?" He asks, his eyes flicking back to you, his rifle still raised.
"I'm not!" You shout, hands pushed out on either side of you as you squint against the wind, expression tense as the air pushes in on you from every direction. "I'm trying to stop it, just drop the gun!"
His eyes dart between you and the trees, noticing the way the branches are slowly inching towards him, and how you seem to almost be trying to push them back, your entire body tensing with some unknown effort.
"And if I drop the gun and you try something, huh?" He yells back, his finger still resting against the cool metal of the lightened trigger.
"You'll end up dead either way!" You shout, squeezing your eyes shut now as a couple small roots start to slowly coil around his ankles. "I don't want to bury you! Just drop it!"
He glances down at the roots slowly making their way up his lower legs, and his eyebrows furrow as he tries to comprehend how in the hell something like this is even possible. Finally, he grunts, clicking the safety back on his rifle and dropping it to the dirt. As soon as the weapon is out of his hands, the atmosphere in the clearing changes.
Even with your eyes shut, you can feel the pressure get taken off of you as soon as he drops the gun.
You drop your hands back down to your sides, winded from the exertion of keeping him alive. It seemed to have moved quick, the forest in its efforts to eliminate the threat, but you have to imagine it was much slower than it was when it set its sights on the other men who set foot in here to kill you.
"Are you okay?" You ask, gasping to catch your breath as the roots remain wrapped loosely around his ankles, incase it needed to grab him again quickly. Though, the skies had mostly cleared and the wind had stopped now.
He stands frozen in place for a moment, his breath heavy in his lungs as adrenaline courses through his veins and his heart hammers violently in his chest. "I.... I'm fine I think..." He responds, looking down at the roots still clinging to his ankles. He's at a loss as to how the hell something like that can even happen, even more so how you could make that happen.
He tries to get his legs free from the roots, but they cling to him stubbornly, even when he pulls with his full weight. He huffs in frustration, dropping himself to sit down on the ground. "Are you gonna get those things to let go of me? I dropped the damn gun."
They tighten a bit as he talks to you like that and you watch as more vines slither across the ground and wrap around his rifle, dragging it away while also doing the same with the revolver on his hip.
"I... I can't." You admit quietly, wringing your hands nervously in front of you. "I told you, I'm not doin' it."
His eyes widen as the roots from the ground pull his revolver off of him, and the vines drag his rifle towards some far off tree line. He realizes promptly he's being toyed with- like a mouse to an un-hungry cat.
"The hell do you mean you can't?" He asks frustratedly, his eyes locked on you as you fidget in place. His heart is still pumping faster than it has in years. "Do it!"
"I-I, well-"
You start, ready to try and explain but you don't get very far before he's quickly hoisted up off the ground by his feet, being hung upside down as bullets and coins rain from of his pockets. He curses loudly over your yelp of surprise as the forest tosses him up into the air, leaving him to hang by his ankles nearly twenty feet above the ground. He can feel the blood quickly rushing to his head, leaving him dizzy as the items in his pockets come tumbling out. As he tries to reach for something, he loses his balance and starts to swing back and forth like a pendulum.
You wince in sympathy as you hesitantly reach out toward him before pulling your hand back quickly. "Sorry, sorry..." You say through clenched teeth, a guilty expression on your face.
"Could you... please... get me down?" He asks in a strained voice, trying his hardest to keep what was left in his stomach where it was.
You frown, taking a small, hesitant step closer. "I... I told you, I'm not doin' it." You repeat, glancing down at the small objects that fell from his pockets.
"Do you... always carry that many bullets?"
This is the first time in a forever that he's felt so defenseless, hanging from his feet in some clearly, definitely cursed forest. Still, he tries to ignore the humiliation he feels at being in this position, trying to keep his cool while also trying to keep in his breakfast.
"I like to be prepared." He responds tightly, his eyes staring at the ground as he continues to swing back and forth slowly above you.
"For what..?" You ask, knowing that now probably isn't the time, but you truly are curious. And it's not like he could hurt you at the moment.
He pauses for a second, thinking it over before shrugging awkwardly in his hung up position. "You never know when danger might come knocking." He explains, his eyes continuing to be locked on the grass below him. This was a damn embarrassing position to be in with an audience, especially a pretty one.
"Yeah I... I guess so..." You agree, unsure what to do as the vines circle him further, searching inside his clothes for more weapons, no doubt.
He lets the forest strip him of his weapons in silence, his pride already bruised for the day anyway. He only lets out a small grunt as a particularly sharp branch pokes him in the stomach, searching for anything else that might be hidden.
"If I ask you something, these things aren't gonna try and strangle me or anything, right?" He calls down, gritting his teeth as his blood continues to rush to his head.
You can't help but giggle a little as you look up at him, his arms dangling below his head and his shirt starting to fall a little bit as well.
"I don't think so." You say, tilting your head slightly and squinting against the sun as it comes back with your quiet laughter, surrounding you in more warmth and lighter air.
He watches you as you laugh, watching the way your eyes crinkle and the way your smile spreads across your face. He's starting to realize that he's pretty unfortunately attracted to you, especially with the way the sunlight hits you the way it always seems to. Taunting him, tempting him- you were a gift from the trees he doesn't think he would do very well to try and pluck away from the stem.
He takes a breath, swallowing hard and lifting his hands to try and swat away the vine digging into the waistband of his trousers to get at the dagger he had there. "Why aren't you scared of me?"
You giggle again, lowering your hand as some of the tree branches grow up and out in the perfect spot to shield only your eyes from the sun.
"No offense, but you're not exactly very fear-inducing at the moment." You reply, watching in slight amusement as he dangles from the roots, spinning slowly without an ounce of control over it.
He watches you shield your eyes with the branches, finding himself a little surprised at how the forest seems to bend to your will. Despite that, a small smile appears on his face, his arms crossing in front of his chest. "What're you talking about? I'm terrifying."
You let out another laugh as he tried to cross his arms over his chest, and then the birds are singing again. The roots start to lower him just a little bit at his lighthearted joke and the way it made me smile, and he finally stopped resisting.
"Yeah, I'm quakin' in my boots."
He rolls his eyes as he lets the plants lower him down, still trying not to look completely humiliated. "Very funny, smartass. Mind telling them to lower me the rest of the way?"
The roots quickly jerk him back up again at the comment and your smile drops as you wince again. His lips form into a tight line when the roots yank him back up again, his head spinning as all his blood shoots straight back to his brain. "I can't tell them what to do, unfortunately." You remind him, head still tilted back at a mildly uncomfortable angle to look up at him.
"They seemed to listen to you just a minute ago to give you some shade." He mutters, feeling like an idiot just hanging there.
"I didn't ask for them to do that." You reply, another small smile tugging at your lips that seems to bring the sun back just a bit.
He watches as your lips pull into a smile again, noticing the way the sun seems to come back just a little every time it does. He's starting to get it, even if he was far from a comprehensive or even realistic understanding.
"Oh, so this stuff is just what- a coincidence now?" He asks, gesturing to a nearby tree that had pushed its branches out to act as your own personal umbrella.
You look up at the branches over your head before back at him. "Okay, well, I never said that." You chuckle, standing on your toes and reaching up to one of the leaves, letting a ladybug crawl onto your fingers.
He watches you stand on your toes and reach up, nymph-like in the most graceful of ways- a sight if he's ever seen one. He can't help but notice how the sun seems to break through the trees a little more now, lighting your face and hair up in a way that's almost angelic. He can feel his mouth starting to go dry as he watched you play with the ladybug. "So... you talk to bugs too?"
"What? No." You giggle, letting the bug crawl up your arm and into your hair. They did really seem to like your hair, something you had always picked up on. You didn't like it much, but they never stayed for long. Just explored for a few moments before continuing on their merry way. "It's... it's more complicated than that. More like a feeling. Not with bugs," You explain quickly. "Just like... the space, if that makes sense."
He lets his eyes linger on the small red bug that was currently making a home in your hair, trying to distract himself from the way a few strands of it seemed to fall against the exposed skin of your collarbone.
"I'll be honest... not really." He responds, a small smile on his face, "I'm not much acquainted with stuff like that."
When you look up at him again, smile widening a bit when you see he's smiling too, the roots start to lower him another foot or so again. "That's alright. I don't really get it either." You shrug softly.
He lets out a small huff of laughter as he's lowered down again, finally feeling like he's starting to get used to hanging upside down. "Well, I guess we're two peas in a pod then, huh?" The sun breaks through the trees even further, casting a golden glow on both of you and the plants surrounding you.
You grin up at him and his flushed red face as you step out of the little umbrella and pick up his hat from the ground, dusting it off before starting to gather all his things and setting them inside like it was a bucket.
"So... what did you say was happening in the town? Livestock are dyin'? People gettin' sick?"
He watches you dust off his hat and collect his belongings as you speak, trying to ignore the flutter in his chest that he felt when he saw you handling his stuff like it was the most casual thing in the world.
"Yeah..." He responds, his voice sounding a little distracted, "No one's been able to figure out why for months now. They tried blaming it on all sorts of things, but nothing's worked so far... that's why I'm here."
"They think it's me." You comment, nodding slightly, picking up the last of his things before standing up again, looking up at him.
He watches you brush down your dress, his eyes lingering longer than they should on the gentle curve of your waist and how your seemingly soft hand smoothed over the surface. With the sun lighting you up like you were an angel sent from heaven itself? Maybe you were just as dangerous as they said. "Well... are you?"
Your brow furrows slightly and you shake your head, a small frown pulling at your lips. "No... I... Like I said I've never even been to the town. Okay, well, maybe once or twice, but I just like to go to the farmer's market every once in a while. I'd never want to hurt anyone."
He watches you look down sadly, noticing how your expression shifts to the sad one he saw when you were tending the graves not too long ago. He feels a pang of guilt in his chest, realizing his comment had been a little thoughtless.
"Hey, I didn't mean..." He starts, pausing for a moment as the vines slowly let him down even lower, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have assumed."
"It's not your fault." You reply, watching him get lowered a little bit further. "If everyone believes it, I wouldn't expect you not to."
He's finally almost on the ground now, hanging just about eye level with you. At this point, looking at you from the upside down view makes his head spin a little.
"Yeah, well... I guess I still shouldn't have jumped to conclusions." He responds, watching as a soft breeze blows in through the clearing, messing your hair up for a moment and filling the air with the scent of wildflowers.
Your smile grows a bit at that. "Well, thank you. I appreciate that."
Then the roots are suddenly turning him upright again before he has the chance to even consider what to say, lowering him quickly to the grass and thrusting him forward into you. "Whoa..!" He stumbles forward, suddenly upright again, only to be flung forward at full speed straight into you. He grabs your arms by instinct, trying to keep from knocking you both backwards but failing as both of you land on a soft area of moss. The two of you fall back onto the ground, him landing on top of you with a soft thud. He can feel his heart racing in his chest as he looks down at you below him.
You're shocked at first, getting your bearings quickly though as you look up at him and into his blue eyes. It feels like you're looking straight through him at the beautiful and now clear sky above you, and you can't help but giggle when you've realized what happened. Clearly, the forest didn't see him as a threat to you anymore; stripped bare of his weapons and armed only with an apology for making assumptions.
His heart skips a beat the moment you start to laugh, the sound like music to his ears. He'd never heard a prettier sound than that. His heart hammers against his chest as he looks down at your face, the sunlight streaming through the tree tops to perfectly light up your face, giving you a golden glow. He can feel his mouth going dry again, just like it did earlier. He had never found someone so beautiful before, and for a moment, he's scared he's fallen victim to your rumoured enchantments.
He realizes after a moment how long he's been staring, and how close the two of you are. His face was so close he could see the individual lashes framing your eyes, the freckles spread across your skin, the light flush across your cheeks. His eyes fall to your lips, realizing how soft they looked... and how he badly he would like to taste them... Oh, he must be enchanted somehow.
"Are you quite alright?" You giggle, shifting a little bit, unwilling to outright ask him to get off. "I didn't expect them to throw you like that."
The giggling helps snap him out of it, and he suddenly realizes just how embarrassing the situation looks, and how strange it is that the forest would even do that to begin with. He scrambles to get off of you, sitting beside you on the ground.
"Yeah.. yeah... I'm fine...." He responds sheepishly, a flush on his own face as a few stray pieces of moss stick onto his clothes.
His face was still burning, and he couldn't get the sight of you laughing out of his head. The way your eyes had sparkled, how your hair had been splayed out around you against the grass... he shakes his head, trying to dispel the thoughts. He didn't have time to be getting all distracted like this. He glances over to you, noticing how your hair was still messy from the fall, a few blades of grass sticking out of it as a few flowers from the surrounding area are caught in the strands too.
You close your eyes, letting out a soft sigh as he moves off of you, smiling a little to yourself as you feel the sun on your skin. Just for that, it seems to burn a little brighter.
After a few moments you push yourself up so you're sitting as well, your gaze finding him again. "You must really believe me."
He tilts his head slightly, watching you push yourself into a sitting position beside him, your back against the tree and the sun still shining through the branches onto your face. He can feel his heart skip a beat as he stares.
"How do you figure that?" He blinks, trying to snap out of it and trying not to think too hard about how he was starting to feel towards you so quickly.
You nod over to the roots and vines retreating slowly back into the tree line. "They wouldn't have let you down otherwise."
He glances back over to the trees, watching the roots and the vines disappear back into the underbrush. He'd almost forgotten they were there, so distracted by you. A frown tugged at his lips, he should never be this distracted.
"I guess you're right..." He responds.
"You were the first to even get that close." You admit quietly, a thoughtful expression on your face as you glance over at the makeshift crosses and mounds of dirt a few feet away.
He lets out a soft breath of disbelief, his eyes flickering back and forth between you and the little burial site, a wave of guilt washing over him as he realizes just how rude he'd been when he first got there. You had been taking care of something really important to you and he had just thrown accusations at you without even knowing you. And for some reason the forest had even allowed him to get that close... there must be a good reason.
Even in these past few minutes of speaking to you, he'd been able to tell that you weren't dangerous, and hell- you were honestly one of the nicest people he'd ever met, and by far the prettiest. Not that that mattered.
He finally looks away from the crosses and focuses back on your face, noticing the grass and the flowers, and he can't help but think that they look kind of cute on you.
"Who are those for? ...If you don't mind me asking."
"The men who came before you, I assume." You tell him, looking down and picking at the grass. "You mentioned that people were hunting me, and no one came back. And I was wondering why bodies kept turning up here..."
A lump lodges in his throat as you confirm what he already knew deep down inside. He swallows hard, trying not to let the realization that he could've been just as dead as them show on his face, but by the look on yours, he knows you can tell what he's thinking anyway.
"You... didn't kill them?" He asks, trying to sound strong, but not quite keeping the trepidation out of his voice.
Your eyes snap up to his and you quickly shake your head. "No! No, I-" You defend quickly, sitting up a bit straighter and pushing yourself back a bit. "I... Like I said, they just turned up here. I come out here often to check on the older ones and lay flowers, I started coming back and there would just be someone laying there dead. I didn't... I just buried them."
His face softens slightly as he sees the panicked expression on your face, how defensive you were at the accusation, how you quickly scooted away from him as if you would run if you had to. He knew you were telling the truth. He curses himself for letting his imagination create the image of you again, standing over a corpse with your hands covered in blood- that thought alone made him somewhat nauseous.
He lets out a slow, shaky breath, his eyes glued to the little crosses. He could've been there too, no better than carrion for the animals. Of course they were the men who came before him, and he's sure the forest was much less forgiving than just hanging them by their boots and taking their guns.
"Why do you come back here every day?" He finds himself asking.
"I... uh... I don't live far." You explain, glancing back over your shoulder. "And... um... my parents are here. And my brother." You add quietly, fiddling with the crystal around your neck as you look briefly over at some much older graves at the edge of the clearing.
His eyes follow your gaze over to where a group of older, smaller crosses laid on the other side of the clearing, and the realization finally set in that you were here every day to tend the graves of your family.
"You're an orphan...." He says it like a statement instead of a question, not realizing he'd said it out loud until a moment later.
You nod softly in response, leaning back on one of your palms.
"You are too." You reply, tone gentle in the observation.
He freezes, his eyes going wide as you call him out so delicately. The way you say it, it was almost like you had looked inside and had seen him for exactly what he was.
"How'd you know?"
"I can feel it." You tell him, knowing how vague it sounded- but you didn't have any better understanding of it than he did.
He blinks, looking down at the ground as he processes that. An uncomfortable feeling settled in his stomach, knowing that somehow, you'd seen straight through every front he put up in seconds."What do you mean by that?"
You shrug slightly. "Exactly what I said. I can just... feel it. Like you can see or hear things, you know? I just... know. It's hard to explain."
He was silent for a few moments as he nodded slowly, still watching the way your fingers fidgeted with the necklace around your neck. He knew something was up with you, with how the forest seemed to welcome him when it made everyone else run. But he was starting to get the feeling he was only just scratching the surface.
He took a moment, looking up again at the simple crosses and mounds of dirt littered around the clearing, the thought that you'd had to bury your family by yourself and continue tending to their graves for who knows how long was making his heart ache in a way he didn't know was so familiar to him until he was faced with it.
"I'm sorry." He finally speaks after a few stiff moments, his voice sounding a bit softer and more tentative than before. "How old were you?"
"Fourteen." You answer quietly, looking over at him again and offering him a weak smile.
A lump forms in his throat as he takes in your answer. You'd taken care of them at only fourteen years old. The realization settled heavily in his stomach like a rock, how impossibly unfair the world was, to be dealing hands just like his out to others. To sweet girls with soft skin and perfect smiles. "Jesus ...." He mutters quietly, rubbing his hands over his tired eyes.
Picturing you as a reflection of himself, nothing more than a child, all alone in the dark forest trying her best to dig a hole for all her loved ones overturning into a vision of the last he had seen of his family. Year after hurtful year, standing over graves and tossing in handfuls of dirt to send them on their way. It made bile rise in his throat.
He looks over at you silently, and his heart aches again. He knows what it feels like to be all alone. You, in the cold, dark woods for so long with no one to look to and him, in the cold and bright lights of being hunted for his actions. You, sitting next to him on the soft forest floor, were his only chance at leaving that behind. Of looking to the future, burying you and the harm you supposedly caused behind him with his wanted posters left to blow inconsequentially in the wind. He wonders how long it had been since you had seen another face other than his in this little graveyard, and he realizes he couldn't stomach carrying your corpse back into town. If the trees would even let him take your body so far without leaving your cold skin covered in the claw marks of it's efforts to keep you here with it, nestled in the safety of its tree cover.
"No one should have to live like this... all alone." He says quietly, the words leaving his mouth before he even realizes it.
You pull at the grass in front of you mindlessly as you shrug. "I'm not alone. Not really." You say quietly.
You look over at him again, studying him for a few moments. "You're a lot more lonely than I am, I think."
He pauses at that, his heart panging in his chest again at the truthfulness of your statement. He knew you were right, he was lonely. No family, no friends. Hell- before today, he's pretty sure no one's ever looked at him the way you are now. With something like kindness. He lets out a rough sigh as he rubs the back of his neck.
"Guess we've got that in common, then."
"I guess so." You agree quietly, giving him a small, slightly sad smile.
You lean over and pick up his hat from the ground next to where you'd both fallen, checking inside that it still held all his pocket change and bullets before holding it out to him.
He stares at the hat in your hands for a moment before looking back up at you, studying the way you sat beside him with your head tilted to the side, the way your dress clung brunched up around your hips and the way your hair fell over your shoulders in messy waves in the afternoon sunlight.
He swallows hard as he reaches out and takes the hat from you, his fingers brushing yours for a second. "Thank you..."
"Of course." You hum, tucking your knees up to your chest and brushing some of the stray grass and moss off of your calves and arms. "Thanks for not killing me."
He lets out a short laugh, setting the hat back onto his head after shoving its contents back into his pockets. "I'm not going to kill you." He says firmly, his eyes following your fingers as you brush off your skirt.
A small smile twitches at your lips as you look over at him, and you feel that familiar pulsing of power in your fingertips and chest, running through your skin again.
You can feel that he means it, and you felt safe before, but even more so now.
The two of you sit in a comfortable silence for another moment, listening to the sounds of the forest around you, and he feels a sense of peace in this quiet space he'd stumbled into.
There were a hundred different ways he could be spending his afternoon. There were bounties to be collected, townsfolk to cheat at poker, and cards to be dealt and drank to. But instead, he was sitting in the middle of a makeshift graveyard with a lonely, beautiful, witch in the middle of the woods and he'd never been more at peace in his entire life.
"Are you... hungry?" You ask after a minute or so, glancing up at the sky to see whereabouts the sun was. It was likely mid to late afternoon by now, and you still hadn't eaten yet- that hadn't been a lie. You had to get back, but you didn't just want to let him go without making sure he would be able to make it back safely.
He was actually a little surprised that he hadn't thought about it. After all, he'd been walking around in the forest for hours. Now that you mention it, he can feel a hollow emptiness in his gut and a sharp pang of hunger go through his body.
"Yeah.. I could eat." He says, rubbing the back of his neck as he tilts his head up towards sky and squints against the sunlight streaming down.
You push myself up from the soft moss you were sitting on, ignoring the bits of it that clung to your dress and hair for the time being.
"Alright, well, c'mon then." You grin, glancing back at him over your shoulder as you go to collect the basket of drying lavender from the grave you were tending before he interrupted.
His eyes widen a little as he watches you stand up, his eyes lingering a little bit too long on the curve of your hips again. He shakes his head before getting up himself, gathering his things and brushing himself off before following the witch deeper into the forest that would inexplicably kill to keep her.
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no taglist this time around!! my fics usually get over a hundred requests to be added to the taglist so instead i made a library! follow me over on @runningfrom2am-library and turn on notifs to get updates when i post new parts!!
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ljaylmaoo · 2 months ago
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🎃Kinktober day 1- Cockwarming🎃
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Hook x needy!fem!reader 18+
UNEDITED
Warnings: smut obvi lol, needy reader, squirting, creampie (use condoms please), idk just enjoy lol
An: hii, day one of hooks kinktober is here! Not much to say other than I hope y’all enjoy this one! Also lmk if you’re interested in being tagged in my kinktober posts
word count: 1.7k
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
“Please..?” You begged your boyfriend, drawing out the word in a whiny tone.
You haven’t seen James all day as he’s been busy with tons of tasks that Uliana has been getting him to do, which left you alone the whole day without almost any interaction or quality time with him. You were bored and felt lonely without him, so of course when you heard the door knob you instantly felt your mood lift. You ran up to the door and practically jumped on him as soon as he came through the door, he caught you in his arms as you wrapped your arms and legs around him like a koala, clinging to him as if your life depended on it. “I missed you so much!” You said in between kisses, “I missed you too, my love.” He said as he squeezed you tighter, you nuzzled your head into his neck, taking in his scent and touch you’ve been longing for. He carried you over to his desk and tried to pull you off, you only clung onto him tighter, “I have homework to do, love.” He says tiredly with his head resting over your shoulder as he hugged you once more. You lifted your head and looked into his eyes, a pout forming on your face, “but I just got you back…” you complained, “can’t I just sit on your lap while you do your homework then? Maybe I can help?” You suggested, he thought about it for a moment, “okay but I really need to focus, so please, y/n, behave?” Your face lit up and you nodded, “okay I will” he smiled back at you, giving you a quick kiss and sat down resting you into his lap as he grabbed the books that were put off to the side. You snuggled into his lap, legs draped over his getting more comfortable as you watched him get settled.
“What class?” You questioned curiously, “Calc.” He said simply, you looked up at him with a shocked expression, jaw dropped and eye brows raised as you met his gaze, you only blinking in response, “what?” He asked as he smirked at your reaction. “Like, calculus?” He nodded, “I don’t think I’d be able to help with that one. I hate math.” He let out a short breathy laugh, “that’s okay I didn’t expect you to” he said as he patted your bottom and kissed your cheek. You looked over the textbook pages and over the unfamiliar and complicated looking formulas, watching as he wrote stuff down with his hook wrapped around your lower waist, holding your close. After a bit of watching you had soon grew bored of it and shifted to get more comfortable, hips jolting as you unintentionally rubbed your clit perfectly against his crotch causing you to let out a small closed mouth moan. You cleared your throat as a pathetic attempt to hide it. “You okay?” He asked seemingly unfazed by the action, you nodded, “yeah, just trying to get more comfortable.” You lied, feeling the wetness slowly pool in your underwear. He hummed in response before you moved again, this time on purpose, trying to get more friction earning a grunt from him causing you to smile. Your neediness for him only grew stronger, which started off as you only wanting to be close to him and feel his touch in any way you could, but now you wanted to feel him more than you already were. This wasn’t your original plan, but you just couldn’t help it, the feeling of his soft member already creating a bulge in his pants made you ache for his fully erect cock inside of you.
You bit your lip as you did this a few more times every few minutes, sighing each time your core connected with his which in turn was slowly making him harder. He rested his chin against the back of your shoulder, “I know what you’re doing.” He says with a low tone by your ear, the one that drives you crazy. You turned back to look at him, “what am I doing..?” You hummed innocently causing him to roll his eyes and fixed his position beneath you, you gasped as you felt his semi-hard bulge push against you and you instinctively rolled your hips. “Y/n…” he warned, gripping onto your hips, stilling your movement, “sorry, force of habit.” You giggled causing him to scoff, “well stop moving around so much and you won’t get so worked up” “too late…” you mumbled and ground your hips once again. He sighed in frustration, “y/n, please. I really need to focus. Just tell me what’s gonna stop you from being so distracting so I can get my homework done?” He said desperately. You thought about it and a smile appeared on your face, “can I sit on your cock..?” He shook his head, “no, absolutely not. I don’t trust you. You can’t even sit still without it so what makes you think you’ll be able to sit still then?” You pouted, “please..?” You begged your boyfriend, drawing out the word in a whiny tone, “I just want to feel you inside of me” you whined once again, “I haven’t seen you all day and you’re already tired, so I know we most likely won’t do anything later.” You mumble under your breath. You quickly turned around in his lap to face him, straddling him, “I swear I won’t move.” You said seductively while playing with his hair. He raised an eyebrow, “promise..?” “Promise!” You said happily. He rolled his eyes and gave in, you quickly got off of him and took off your shorts and underwear and climbed back on top of him in the same straddling position, unzipping and pulling out his cock beneath you.
You pumped him a few times before lining yourself up with him and slowly sank down onto him with ease from your already wet walls, a pleasured moan escaping from your mouth as his cock filled you up. He sighed at the feeling of your warm sticky walls enveloping him as he bottomed out. You relaxed your thigh muscles, melting into him and resting your forehead on his shoulder, focusing on the feeling of his tip pressing hard to your cervix causing a hot fluttery sensation in your stomach. You felt so full, so incredibly full. “I missed you so much.” You whispered in his ear, “I missed you too, now hush.” He replied, giving a light slap on your ass while looking over your shoulder causing you to let out a whimper. You stayed like that for a long while, your arms draped around his neck, cheek rested on his shoulder and hands tangled in his hair breathing heavily. It took everything in you not to move, but the sore feeling in your pussy aching for movement made you let out a whine, “are you almost done?” “Almost” he replied, rubbing your back soothingly. “You’re doing so good” He praised causing you to clench around him making both of your breaths hitch. The feeling began to get too much and you slowly moved your hips up and sunk back down onto him, he instantly stilled your movements, “quit it.” He said sternly, the sound of his voice making your walls pulse which, in return, made him twitch beneath you, you bucked your hips at the feeling.
After a few more agonizing minutes you finally heard him put down his pencil and lifted your head, you looked at him then slowly glanced down between your drenched thighs, a sticky clear substance stringed between them, you let out a choked sob at the sight of your throbbing cunt with shaky legs. You looked back up at him with tear stained cheeks and he gently caressed the side of your face, wiping some of the tears, you relaxing into his touch. “god you’re a mess darling…” he pitied, you only let out another sob. He cupped your ass and slowly began moving you up and down his length as you let out a loud moan. You threw your head back, eyes rolling to the back of your head as he watched the way you took control over your own movements bouncing on his cock, lifting your hips and lazily collapsing back down onto him with knitted eyebrows, your own hands exploring your body. He watched in awe with lustful eyes as one of your hands desperately grabbed at your shirt while the other felt up your tits and stomach, rolling your head around in pure bliss with your mouth agape. Sharp high pitched moans and noises escaped your mouth, getting louder each time he hit the same spot deep inside you over and over. “Fuck, I’m gonna-“ a harsh gasp interrupted you, “cum-“ you let out another desperate moan as you felt your high approaching quickly. He grabbed your hips and helped you ride him while thrusting up into you, getting deeper than before. “Go ahead. Make a mess on my cock for me, won’t you love?” He said in between heavy breaths, “such a good girl” he continued praising. Your legs began to shake violently and you screamed as your orgasm hit you like a wave crashing over you. A clear watery substance gushing out of you as he continued to fuck you on his cock. You clenched around him as he did so, causing him to still his movements, his cum gushing into you and painting your walls. You fell limp against his shoulder as he fell against the back of the chair, both breathing heavily.
You slowly lifted your head and you both looked down at the mess you made on the both of you, his clothes soaked with your juices and his cum dripping out of your hole around his cock that was still buried inside of you. Your face grew red in embarrassment, “I’m sorry..” you smiled shyly, hiding your face and looking away, not wanting to make eye contact with him. He took your hands away from your face, “no, no, no. No need to be sorry, sweetheart.” He cupped your face and forced you to look at him and brought your face closer to his, “you never have to apologize for making a mess.”
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firegirl888101 · 1 year ago
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how would the harbingers react to a reader who's good at drawing? like, they like to draw the harbingers or other things
Good at drawing?
I'm shit at drawing so I'm not really sure what to say, that's why I didn't reply to this for awhile. But, I eventually got a couple things when my friend was sketching some stuff in front of me.
Sorry that the current Insatiable Madness chapter is taking so long, I've been studying a lot these past couple of days.
I also got another ask where it asked about Halloween. I don't really celebrate Halloween, because I never grew up with it. I've always been too shy to trick-or-treat and I didn't have many friends (and still don't) who'd want to go with me. Quite sad actually, but it's alright. I don't think I missed out on much.
Is anyone expecting me to make a Halloween special? I don't mind doing it, but I'll need inspiration as I wouldn't know where to start 💀
Actually, the more I think about it, I do have one fun idea. (Harbingers going trick-or-treating??? Halloween party if that even exists? Idk, I'll have to do some research.)
|You can take this with Yandere and without - some will probably lean towards yan though.|
So, to begin with:
Pierro wouldn't be too bothered. I feel if Y/N had a skill they were confident in, and wanted to show it, he'd let his curiousity get the better of him and check it out. But, if it's something like drawing he'll probably leave a comment then leave. Whether it's positive or negative, you be the judge. This man is like a slate slab. No personality I'm sorry 😭😭 (When I see more of his character, maybe I'll like him more?)
If you were to draw this man, he'd be humbled. A Grandpa who received his very first present from his grandchild. Would definitely frame the damn thing in his office (which originally was your parent's) he'd put it on the desk. It's his office now, don't argue for it back.
Capitano would show interest. Not too much since he's the main captain of the Fatui, but still interested. If he's bored, or deems the 'fort' (the house) safe, he'll sit down with you and watch what you're doing. Occasionally asking you if he could doodle with you - but I think that would be very rare. His main objective in his mind is guarding you when your own is low whilst you're having fun, doodling or drawing something.
Would 100% deny the picture of him at first. He'd think, that looks like me, but it can't be. Yes, it's him, you'd reassure. Eventually he does take it and folds it in his coat. After that, he'd probably leave the room in embarrassment. Since then on, he'd definitely keep all drawings you've made of him in his pocket. There's too many? Let's put it in the second pocket. That's full too? Looks like he's buying a new coat. Oh? There's room in his military coat he hasn't worn in two years? That'll do just nicely.
Dottore would be intrigued if he saw you practice anatomy - or if you drew more of a gorey scene. I think he'd be even more interested if you liked to draw the human body with extra things (such as arms, legs, eyes or even got rid of a few), and question you on your design choices and if it already exists somewhere. (He's not fooling you, he's obviously taking inspirations for a new experiment). If he didn't know, or wasn't good, he'd probably ask for tips on how to sketch ideas like yours. He reassures you it's not for any experimentation but once again, he's not fooling you at all.
If you were to draw him he'd treat it like glass. Nobody has ever given him a sketch before - bonus points if you draw him injured whilst you're angry with him. He'd treat it as if you drew him with love, and not as if you'd stab him in the heart if you ever got the chance. What do you mean he shouldn't like it this much? It's a work of art! He'd be very quick to correct the drawing if you got anything wrong. Who knows what this man has in his body at this point.
Columbina would join you in your drawing activities. Maybe add some glitter if you have any. The second you complain about cleaning up, however, she has somehow disappeared and has become very forgetful about the events upstairs. 'How curious!~' She would hum to herself with her usual smile. Is definitely the type to ask if you could draw her. Who are you to refuse? Especially when she gives you that look of daunt hope and kindness which makes you drop your pen in fear. Before you can give her an answer, you've already picked up your pencil and began to sketch her beautiful headpiece.
When Columbina receives her multiple sketches, she's overjoyed. Oh, look how you drew this part! How you drew her clothes! She's quick to kiss you on the cheek as a thank you and runs off somewhere. Huh, you feel like you've just been used.
Arlecchino will roll her eyes at first. She's seen many children in the hearth draw for her. Her initial thoughts were vague, she didn't really see much of your hobby. That was until she actually saw what you were drawing. She would stare as you worked, your pencil delicately brushing against the paper you most likely bought the other day. It soon will become a habit to watch you work, becoming a therapeutic source for her. She sometimes questions why you're drawing... certain things, but she wouldn't actually stop your creative mind from working.
Handing Arlecchino the drawing you drew of her would make her blood rise to her cheeks slightly. Sure, she's received a lot of gifts in this sense before. But from you? What an honour! She'll accept it with a soft smile she'd usually show the kids, and pat your head treating you like one. Little do you know she's trying so hard to control her cute agression response by not tearing the paper.
Pulcinella would react very similarly to Pierro. However, he'd have more experience with complimenting and encouraging 'a child' in a hobby they're having fun with. If he saw your skill, he'd probably compliment it whole-heartedly with a chuffed smile. Massaging his mustache like some aristocrat, in the 1940s... Anyway, he'd be very pleased when he watches you draw more and more. He's happy that you're spending your time doing something you like under the tense situation his coworkers (and him, but he doesn't like to admit it) have brought upon you.
I do not see you drawing this man at all. He's a short, dobby, old, looking as man. I don't see him as the type to ask either, at all. He's minding his own business in your house and plans to keep it that way until the situation is resolved.
Scaramouche really doesn't care. We've all got our own likes and dislikes, but he's not bothered about yours. Will most likely purposefully pass by you working on a piece and insult it just to get attention. He'd never actually mean it though - he just never tells you that important fact. As time progresses he'll sneak into your room just to look at more sketches or finished drawings you've done, and assess your progress from each year if you've been practicing for a long time-period.
Now, here's where things get interesting. If you were to draw him and never show it to him, said puppet finding it for himself in one of your drawers, he'd first feel angry. Why wouldn't you show him this? It's of him! ...But then he'd quickly realise it's because of the way he treated you when you were working (oops). If you actually handed it to him and let him keep it, he'd be delighted. You actually drew him? He didn't even have to manipu-- he means 'ask' you to draw him? This is a good step forward to where he wants to be in your heart.
Sandrone would be delighted to know that she's finally found a use for you in her head. She never thought that purposefully walking past you one evening would lead to her shuffling through all the sketches and designs you've done with awe. Where did you get this idea from? How can she recreate it? Would you be happier and more devoted to her if she were to make your dreams true? She digresses. Watching your creative little mind draw your ideas to life inspires her also, and makes her want to recruit you as a special exception to the 'no non-artificial beings' allowed in her workshop. Thinking of all the monstrosities you could design with her help sends pleasurable shivers up her spine.
Drawing her, however? This was rather unprecedented. Out of all the things-- no, people you could have drawn... and you decide on her? And ooh! You even drew her slave she likes to travel around on, how thoughtful, you're already expressing your adoration for her works! Trust me, don't draw her. You'll give her daydreams that will never happen.
Signora, like most of the harbingers, wouldn't care at first. She hates your house and hates your world, why in Teyvat's name would she be interested in what you're doing? That's what she used to think, until her arrogant slick eyes caught sight of what exactly you were drawing. In my opinion, there's only a couple things that would interest Signora. Drawing dresses, if you were interested in fashion designing, would definitely be the main one. Viewing your designs after you finished them would soon become a small hobby for her, and soon, she'd eventually ask you to draw her in one of your designs.
You'd say yes, of course. An excuse to draw a drop-dead gorgeous woman in one of your designs for free? No way you were going to pass this opportunity! For her hard work in modeling, you'd definitely pay back twice and give her a drawing of her in her harbinger uniform too - which I think would flatter her a bit too much.
Pantalone wouldn't care, and would never become interested. He's a very rich and successful banker, not any ordinary man. As soon as he sees you drawing somewhere in the house, he'll shrug and go the opposite way. He knows what it's like to be interrupted through a thoughtful process, and he doesn't feel like getting an earful from you if he interrupts it. What he does think about, however, is if you're making money from it. Maybe an online business. He asks, and receives a very disappointing answer. No? What do you mean no? These are good, he'd pay for a portrait! Well, if Mora was a usable currency here. Ugh, the thought of being a poor man in this world makes him disgusted.
Drawing him would result in lots of praise. He'd be very happy you used your own time to draw him. He didn't even have to pay for it, it was gift! You even said so yourself. Immediately taken from your hands and framed somewhere. You can't seem to find the drawing though... Pantalone insists it's still in the house, but no matter where you look you just can't find it! Oh well, it's probably better you didn't know where it went. (You would have never been able to find it, he hid the location so well after all.) Pantalone told you he'd give something back to you as a thank you, but you're not holding him to his word.
Tartaglia would be interested the second he sees you doing something he hasn't seen you do before. That looks interesting, let him give drawing a try! He'd boast how his siblings love his drawings he creates, but you knew he was lying to set a cheery mood. Your understanding was backed when you actually saw his 'Amazing Drawing'... It was embarrassing to say the least. He would heed all your little tips and eventually get good at drawing from your guidance! I can see him as the type to use these skills later for his siblings, and as the type to continue drawing even if you begin to get bored of it... He's skilled with his fingers after all-- okay I'm sorry I'm done.
Drawing him can go one in two ways. I see him as someone who will whine about being drawn. He'll say: 'Have you drawn me yet?' in one of the most annoying voices he cna muster. He knows and understands you find it annoying when he asks you to draw him, so he's found a loophole. Just keep asking questions related to it until you get the hint! ...You got the hint weeks ago, but you're refusing to do it. Well, you're refusing to show him your drawings you've already finished and hid out of sight. Showing him these drawings would make him really happy! Would fold his favourite and carry it around with him everywhere like some of the other harbingers. His next commission he's planned to ask you is of a drawing of Capitano. You eagerly declined, not wishing to impose on the Captain's privacy.
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v3nusxsky · 9 months ago
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hey! could I request a nsfw work for Emily prentiss / nb! reader (afab)
im really bad at requesting stuff so I’m just gonna make a list I hope that’s okay!!
After a really tough case you just need Emily to take all control and fuck you senselessly and she agrees but also she is concerned about you and makes sure you’re okay
dom Emily and sub reader (bdsm vibes) Emily is hard dom but also really soft and caring, she instantly switches from “using” the reader’s body and degrading them to showering them with kisses and compliments
safe word use (love me some good communication!)
overstimulation kink / multiple orgasms!
mommy kink
praise kink
no strap on stuff please!
aftercare (fluff :)
thank uuu <3
Mommy has you baby 18+
*Authors note~ felt like our em deserved a bit of love too Yano? Yea I'm writing fics instead of uni just to cope and then finishing it off on the train 😭*
Trigger warnings~ mommy kink praise kink degrading sub r dom Emily safe word use aftercare thigh riding eating out fingering tribbing overstim
Prompt~see aak^^^
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This case was a rough one for you, it's not uncommon that a case would get an agent a little more than normal, especially when it held a personal tie to their lives or past. For you, it was poor girls who'd lost their lives just for being who they were. And by a "friend" none the less was heartbreaking. Reminding you of the time where you were almost one of those girls but thankfully you had been taught to defend yourself at your FBI academy.
The blank stare you held the entire plane ride told Emily one thing. You needed her. You needed to feel, to be pulled from the memories of the past to the present. And luckily, Emily knew just what she needed to do for you. Unfortunately , this wasn't either of your first rodeos for needing this sort of help and support. And you'd develop a code to show consent. So it was to no surprise that when Emily asked you if you wanted to "reset" that you nodded silently and made your way to the car.
After your silent drive with your girlfriend you immediately got out of the car and made your way inside to your bedroom. Emily knowing you needed space pottered around shutting the house up and preparing for what was to come. When she made her way to the room you were stripped bare, much like your emotions, on your knees for her. She loves to make you sit pretty for your mommy, head down with your hands on your knees while she stalked around the room in heels. A clear display of dominance.
"What do you need sweetheart?" She held her authoritative tone to show you she expected an answer. "Mommy to make it better" you whimpered still not moving from where you were stationed. "Well then why don't you be a good little slut and fucking earn my help" Emily growled moving to out a head in your heat and tugging it, causing you to yelp out but follow her lead. "Oh don't whine! You know you love it, a little pain slut is all you are."
Next thing you knew you were being pushed onto the bed and your lover straddling your thigh. "Flex" she demanded before starting to grind her hips downwards to seek friction. I'm a constant to her degrading words her smooth hands were constantly touching your skin. It didn't matter if it was your pretty tits or your arms the touch remains light and gentle. "Oh you are a good slut for mommy, letting mommy use your pretty body for my pleasure. Isn't that right my sweet girl?" She mewled as her hips began to lose their rhythm. Knowing she was close you sat up to latch on to her rose bud and sucked harshly. Exactly how she liked, causing her to cum hard. Like a mindless doll you allowed Emily to work her way through the first orgasm of the night, happy to serve. Emily made quick work of shredding any remaining barriers preventing you from being skin to skin.
The raven haired woman shifted to her knees before licking where she'd drenched your thigh, bitting the silky smooth skin just the right amount to draw some blood. "Mommy wants to play with her doll now baby, can you be a good girl for me?" She murmured in between soothing the bit and pressing open mouthed kisses to each thigh. "Yes mommy" you whined  before Emily took a bold swipe of your soaking slit. "Oh! Mmm" you mewled giving Emily all the encouragement she needed to lap at your pussy like a starving woman.
"Let me hear those pretty moans sweet girl. Moan for mommy. I want to hear those pretty noises when you cum for me" Emily mumbled into your cunt, the vibrations sending you over the edge and rewarding her efforts as you mewled in pleasure. Only when she was sure she'd got all her reward did she pull away from your core, chin glistening in your arousal and cum mixed together. "Check in baby" she whispered coming to press sweet kisses all across your chest, up your neck, to your cheek, eyes and nose before your plump lips.
"Emerald" you panted out. Laying beneath her with your pupils blown wide and a beautiful flush over your neck and there swells of your breasts. "Greedy whore tonight" she mused before trailing her fingers south of your body to your sensitive clit. "Mommy!" You whimpered as she made contact. "Oh hush, you'll take what mommy gives you, gosh you're practically a bitch in heat with all this filth down here. A whore for your co-worker, doesn't that make you feel ashamed dirty girl" Emily teased you while her fingers trailed your folds before slamming into your awaiting hole.
The shame only aided the bubble of arousal to grow in your stomach as your love hit the right spot inside your spongy walls with each stroke. Effortlessly she had you close to the edge within minutes and begging for her to let you cum. "Such a fucking whore" she mumbled with a roll of her eyes but never slowing her pace, "be a good cumslut and cum now bitch!" Emily growled her left hand digging into your hips hard enough to leave bruises for days.
"Shh darling, you did so good my love, so good. One more okay one more" she murmured over and over as you rode the pleasurable waves. "No mommy! Can't do more please" you cried well and truly on your way to where you needed to be mentally. You knew your safe word and when to use it which is why Emily manhandled your body to be on top of her own. "Such a slut. Move your fucking ass!" She grumbled smacking your thigh which caused you to adjust into the position she wanted. You couldn't help but sigh as you felt the warmth radiating from her core. "Mommy" you mewled softly as you slowly began to rock your hips against hers.
To be gracious, Emily let you have a few minutes of pathetically rutting against her before she changed the position muttering that you were no more than a useless slut who couldn't even do something so simple. From there on Emily took control of the pace and made sure you could feel everything. "Lavender!" You sobbed through gasps causing everything to halt. "Okay sweet girl, all done, no more. My good girl."
Nothing else mattered to Emily Prentiss apart from you in this moment. She had to make sure you were okay. Instinctively, she moved to cuddle you up into her bare chest and rub your back as you sobbed. Your body shook for minutes until you managed to gain a bit of control. "Mommy?" You muttered into her skin, "I'm sorry." Those two words single handedly broke her heart, "oh sweet girl, you have nothing to apologise for, mommy is so proud of her girl. You did so well for me darling, my pretty girl I couldn't be more proud or in love with you. Mommy is here okay?"
Some time passed before Emily attempted to gently shift away from you, "mommy needs to clean her precious girl up and then we can get into bed and snuggle okay baby?" You nodded in understanding and tried to hide the whimpers when the cool wash cloth hit your over sensitive folds. "All done my girl" Emily murmured quickly ridding herself of the cloth and joining you in the warm bed. "Thank you Emi" you murmured when she gathered you in her arms again. "Always baby, no matter what you need." And that was how it would always be, no matter what you needed Emily would move heaven and earth to give it to you.
Word count ~ 1488
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fitzs-trained-monkey · 2 years ago
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🗒️ Vandal 🗒️
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Word Count: 16,000+ (And nobody asked for any of it!)
Summary: A quiet high school student looks a little too closely at the tragic events afflicting their hometown. Can you uncover the truth while keeping your own secrets hidden? Or will a lapse in judgment expose you to a world of hurt? || Kol x disabled!reader || Here lies my Masterlist
Warnings: Some language, references to blood and gore, Kol being a psycho, and some dubious consent but nothing violent or graphic. This turned out a little more Yandere than I intended. Just expect ya gal's general tomfoolery.
A/N: Howdy-doo, this is your captain speaking. I know I promised a lot of you that I would have the sequel to Run for Your Life finished last week, but it's still not done and I'm really sorry. I wrote this instead. Please forgive me. I hate letting y'all down but inspiration has been really low as of late and, as some of you know, I've been facing some very serious struggles with people in my life. My sense of self-worth has been suffering, but writing this fic has been my best escape. So again, I'm really sorry to those who were expecting the Klaus fic, but I hope you like this one nonetheless.
🗒️ Story Begins Below 🗒️
When Niklaus Mikaelson confined himself to his studio, it was common knowledge among all parties of blood relation to the original hybrid that any sibling who valued their breathing privileges should promptly vacate the premises until such a time as that tortured artist ceased muttering his internal monologue aloud. 
Kol, for one, was quite fond of his breathing privileges, thank you very much. 
Ugh, breathing. 
The one thing he’d never thought would require adjusting to through the centuries was now yet another factor among a dozen others that required getting used to. 
The air of this new age he’d found himself in was thick and hazy with chemicals and other nonsense he didn’t care to think about. Drawing the filthy mixture into his lungs required significantly more effort from him than it used to. He wondered vaguely how the humans surrounding his seat at the bar of this stodgy town’s only decent restaurant did it with such ease. It must’ve been tiring. Perhaps that was why so many of the patrons around him seemed content to spend their morning religiously devoted to quaffing down as much of that - oh, what had Mary-Alice called it? - caffeine stuff as they could possibly contain. 
Though the name would suggest otherwise, Kol figured the only way the Mystic Grill, as the place was called, could remain in business was to serve breakfast, lunch, dinner, and drinks. Hence why the place was packed with half-conscious teenagers at the ungodly hour of six in the morning, stopping off for something to eat on their way to school. How did Rebekah enjoy this? Though she’d accompanied him to the grill, Kol’s sister had been quick to grab her coffee and ditch him. She wanted to arrive to school early so she could “talk”. (The notion tempted Kol to impale himself on a billiard cue.) 
Rebekah was also rather upset with him, or more specifically, his newfound enrollment in her high school. There was nothing he could do about that, however. If it was up to him, Kol would choose to spend his time literally any place else. Unfortunately for him, after that little incident with Rebekah’s date, mother dearest had been contemplating ways to keep him in line. High school was evidently what she’d come up with. It was Finn’s idea actually. Kol’s eldest brother - dull lout that he was - had suggested that perhaps attending high school with his sister would provide a convenient way for Kol to catch up on recent history, as well as assist him in developing some control over his appetite seeing as each family member had given their word not to shed the blood of any locals. As if that wasn’t bad enough, Esther had done more than just readily agree. She’d also cast a tracking spell on him. If he strayed beyond the town’s limits, she would know. 
Rest assured, he would find a way to weasel out of it - that was certain. But for now, Kol was stumped. This resurrected version of his mother wasn’t quite so dismissive of him as she’d been in Kol’s human life. He should have liked that - should have reveled in it. Yet, having her attention this time around came with a cold harshness he wasn’t so fond of. For now though, he would have to endure his punishment. Thanks to Klaus, he couldn’t even skip out.
Thus Kol found himself in an overly crowded restaurant, at six in the morning on his first day of school, surrounded by teenagers.
Kol desperately wished he could eat one or two of them. 
They were so rowdy and obnoxious. The whole world it seemed had grown significantly louder since he’d been daggered in nineteen fourteen. So much information assaulting his senses constantly. It was maddening. Being surrounded by thirty or so warm bodies didn’t exactly help. The chorus of their heartbeats fell on his sensitive ears like the cresting of ocean waves and like a riptide, he would surely be carried away if he allowed himself to listen much longer. 
The boy’s throat burned. He was hungry. Always hungry. He could practically taste the relief on his tongue. The high he could get from just one little cheerleader…
Kol got up from his seat, grabbed his bag, and shoved his way out the door, cursing Finn’s name to Hel and back. He reached the end of the street and stopped. Raking his fingers through his hair, Kol rolled his shoulders and took a deep breath.
Wrong move.
A gentle autumn breeze swept past and carried with it a hint of something sweet. No, that was too tame. That scent on the air was like pure sugar and spring water, something like berries and roses and cotton candy all rolled into one supremely tempting aroma so overpowering he nearly choked. White hot pain shot through him and his mouth watered. He was standing in the midst of town square before he even realized he’d moved. 
There, kneeling hunched over on the ground, all alone in the early morning, was a young woman who looked about the same age as he did. Any view of her face was obscured by the curtain of her hair as it fell around her in something of an untamed mess. Her clothes, nothing fancier than a t-shirt and shorts, were rumpled and irreparably stained with just about every color one could imagine as she focused intently on whatever she was doing. Scattered all around her were about a dozen cans of paint and at least a hundred individual sticks of chalk in a variety of shades. She was decorating the walkways, Kol realized as he watched her dip her hand directly into one of the cans of paint before slathering the color over the flagstones she was working on. Once satisfied that the area was evenly covered, she sat up.
The girl paused to wipe her hand on a wet rag before shuffling back around to a different section where the paint looked a little drier. 
Kol had just enough time to register the pattern of scrapes that decorated her hands and knees before that delicious scent washed over him again. It was stronger now that he was so close and like a punch to the gut, just a whiff of it knocked the wind out of him. His throat seared and his fangs ached. She was right there in front of him, trickles of blood seeping from her hands and knees - rivers of temptation. Whatever ichor was rushing through that girl’s veins would certainly be divine. Kol wanted it. He wanted to taste her warm human skin - wanted to lick the scarlet from those teasing little scrapes she’d made. No one was around. He could have that sweet, sweet crimson ambrosia all to himself. 
There was just one problem. This girl was a local. Her residence was clear from the tags dangling from her backpack which she’d tossed a few feet away. Kol couldn’t eat any of the locals, he’d given his word on it. 
Unfortunately for him, that boy’s sense of honor apparently wasn’t enough to keep his legs from moving. He was standing over her shoulder in a matter of seconds. His looming shadow must have caught her attention because the girl paused her work (she was rubbing lines of chalk into the paint now) and twisted around to look up at him, squinting against the rising sun at his back. Her cheeks were twinged with a delicious shade of pink, likely due to the warm, humid morning, and she smiled in a friendly, albeit slightly confused way.
“Hey!” She greeted - voice practically a chirp. The girl lifted a hand to her face in an effort to further block out the sun, but the offensive light couldn’t dampen her smile. Kol fought the urge to roll his eyes at her sunny disposition.
“Good morning, darling.” He flashed her a grin - the crooked one that made girls like her faint. Kol gestured to the swirling mix of hues currently stinging his eyes. “What’s this going to be?” 
The girl blinked and tilted her head. “Could you say that a little louder?” She asked. Her voice was soft but rich with a delicate, wispy quality to it like a warm caramel stretched apart. He supposed it wasn’t entirely unpleasant to listen to.
“Are you painting something specific or is it more abstract?” He wondered, raising his voice a little. Abstract was certainly the most polite term for eyesore, he thought. 
“Oh, uh, yeah! It’s Mystic Falls,” She said brightly. Then she paused. Her face scrunched up a bit and even Kol could admit it was a little endearing. “Um, I mean, not the town, but like, the falls as in the waterfalls… yeah.” Her voice tapered off into a whisper at the end and she cast her eyes away. 
Kol hummed. “I see.” He didn't actually care, however. He’d seen enough. This girl, tantalizing as her blood might be, wasn’t worth his time - nor his mother’s wrath should he break his oath. There was no thrill in chasing someone like that, girls like her gave in too easily. 
Without warning, the little artist stiffened and whipped her head back up to face him, drawing Kol from his thoughts. 
“Say, what’s the time?” She wondered, biting her lip anxiously. Her lips looked rather tasty when she did that.
Kol raised a brow and checked his watch. “Ten to seven,” He answered. 
She cocked her head again. “Sorry, what?”
“Ten to seven,” He repeated a little louder.
“Huh?”
“Bloody hell!” The boy huffed. “It’s six-fifty! Are you Deaf?”
She snorted. “Uh, huh. Yeah.” Kol’s eyes narrowed but the girl only turned her head, shoving a lock of hair back to reveal some technological array perched over her ear. The artist shrugged and faced him again. “It’s the accent, I think. Plus, it ain’t my fault you mumble. What time did you say it was again? I forgot.”
It wasn’t the disability that annoyed him, he wasn’t that shallow. It was her attitude he couldn’t stand. 
“Six. Fifty. One,” He ground out through clenched teeth.
Her eyes widened. “CRAP!” 
The annoying little artist sprang to her feet, scooped her bag from where she’d flung it, and dashed off just like that. He huffed at her lack of tact - not so much as a word of thanks. It was probably best for both of them if they never saw each other again. That mouth-watering ray of sunshine was unlikely to survive another encounter with him.
As he debated whether or not to just wander around aimlessly for the remainder of the day, Kol caught sight of an object that must have tumbled out of the artist’s bag. Only the slightest bit curious, he bent down to pick it up. Upon taking a closer look at it, Kol raised a brow. Well worn and faded, the sketchbook in his hands was nothing special - almost every artist had one, that was no surprise. What caught his attention, however, was the design on the cover, or more accurately, what had been made of it. Whereas the front of the sketchbook had once depicted a quaint scene from what he recognized to be the story Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, with little Alice looking up at the Cheshire Cat perched lazily in a tree, the girl had turned it into something far more sinister. 
For one thing, she’d given Alice a broadsword. Her dress had been redecorated with dirt stains and blood. As for the Cheshire Cat, the artist had transformed the feline into a marionette with blood-stained teeth and dreadful claws. The background had been scribbled out with a black marker. All save for a grinning silhouette, tugging at the strings of its Cheshire Cat puppet, and a line of bold, bloody letters spelling out the phrase: “We’re All Mad Here.”
It was a delightfully grotesque perversion of a story Kol had rather enjoyed reading when it was first published. Perhaps that girl wasn’t quite so boring after all. 
Kol smirked and slipped the sketchbook into his own school bag. Serves her right for being so disrespectful. Besides, the book was steeped in that exquisite aroma of hers, and if he couldn’t devour the poor thing then keeping a little memento was his next best option. If she wanted it back, she’d simply have to prove herself deserving of it. Until then, that little book of horrors was all his.
Who knows what he might do with it?
No matter what, this was bound to be… entertaining.
***
You’d never liked cheerleaders. They’d always seemed so shallowly chipper - the sort of nice that giggles behind a person’s back. Most people said you were just jealous, wishing you could have their beauty, body, or popularity. They were wrong, of course, cheerleading simply wasn’t your thing. As for appearances, at least you were confident enough in your looks that you didn’t require validation from fellow minors. You never corrected the masses though. You let them think whatever they want. (After all, you had other, more important things on your mind.)
All feelings about cheerleaders aside, they were excellent subjects for drawing poses. It was them or the football team and you couldn’t be paid enough to go anywhere near them. Besides, you had already obtained permission from the members of the cheer squad to sit in on their practices. They figured you must have been lonely and seeking their approval. You didn’t correct them either. The girls on the squad were nice enough, though you didn’t know any of them very well. Just some first names. 
Caroline, Bonnie, Amber, Laura, Rebekah. 
Now that Rebekah was an odd one. She sort of unnerved you. Like the rest, the British blonde was nice enough, but something about her wasn’t quite right. She’d just dropped off the map for a month and a half and then showed up today as if she’d never been gone. Then there was her relationship with the other cheerleaders. Half of them avoided her like the plague and the other half worshiped the ground she walked on. It wasn’t normal.
Life isn’t like the drama shows all over tv. Kids in the real world don’t act that way. 
You hadn’t grown up in Mystic Falls. Your parents moved your family into town one year ago. Though you were just a sophomore then, you knew enough to understand that something about this whole town and everything that had been happening within the last year just wasn’t right. Within your sophomore and junior years alone, no less than twenty-six kids were reported missing. At least six were later confirmed dead.
Was it really any wonder you kept to yourself? 
You were fine with being alone. It didn’t bother you. 
What bothered you was that you had somehow lost track of your sketchbook. That bundle of pages hardly ever left your person. You never went anywhere without it, and yet when you had sat on the bleachers and reached into your backpack to pull it out, lo and behold, it was nowhere to be found. Who knew what small-town hic had gotten their grubby little hands on it? 
Alright, that was mean. You just wanted your book back. The idea of someone else flipping through your sketches irked you to no end.
“Well hello again, darling!” A semi-familiar voice rang out from behind you on the bleachers and you twisted around to face him. Had that kid been up there all this time? The boy grinned down at you. “Fancy meeting you here.”
You offered him a tight smile. 
“Yeah,” You said quietly. “Fancy that.”
The boy was pretty, that was for sure. Dark hair, dark eyes, a strong brow, and a sharp jawline. Not to mention that smile, you’d sooner light yourself on fire than call it “dazzling” but you would like to draw it sometime. All in all, he was probably the closest thing to masculine perfection you would ever lay eyes upon. But you weren’t dumb enough to judge a person off of looks alone. 
Though you had nothing to go off of aside from your brief meeting that morning, you didn’t quite like that kid. On the surface, he seemed alright. A little impatient but still pretty normal. It was the way he looked at you… it reminded you of the feeling you got back in your old town whenever you noticed that your best friend's pet boa constrictor was watching you from inside its tank - how its eyes would follow you no matter what you did. It wasn’t an exactly pleasant sensation. Those onyx eyes of his - when you looked into them, you couldn’t see much of a person looking back. His eyes sparkled when he smiled but behind them… behind them there was nothing. A charming grin without a person inside.
The boy’s odd smile only broadened. 
“You know, I-I didn’t take you for the cheerleading type,” He said. You tucked a strand of hair back behind your ear, squinting against the sun in your eyes. Did he always have to position himself so you had to blind yourself to look at him?
“I’m… not.”
He chuckled. “Obviously.” Climbing to his feet, the boy hopped up onto the seat in front of him and walked gracefully down to your level - at least, as gracefully as one can while walking on bleachers. You should probably warn him about the-
“Careful, that next one wobbles,” You spoke up. Your voice never seemed to come out as loud as you intended, yet he didn’t seem to have a problem catching it. 
“Ah-” He tested the next row with his foot and stepped over it lightly. “Thank you very much.” He grinned again as he jumped down beside you.
The boy was much too close for your liking. 
“You’re welcome,” You mumbled, shuffling away slightly. He only leaned in closer.
“So, if you’re with the cheerleaders, but you’re not one of them, then what does that make you?” He wondered, oblivious or insensitive to your discomfort. You couldn’t tell which. “Unrequited lover or wannabe?”
He raised a brow, smirking in a way that appeared bemused but you could sense its condescending edge. You just shrugged. He could think whatever he wanted. 
He was baiting you, that you were sure of. The dark-haired senior wanted you to answer. He waited for you to answer. But his was a lure you weren't going to bite.  You just kept on drawing - filling in lines, and fine-tuning expressions. You were sure he would give up eventually, kids like him always did.
“Are those your chemistry notes?” He asked finally. 
You hummed and nodded. You’d never been too much of a talker. It had nothing to do with your hearing loss, or maybe it did. That was just who you were either way.
“And you’re sketching in them?”
You shrugged. “Lost my sketchbook.”
“Oh, that’s too bad.” At least he had the decency to sound sympathetic. “Did you have it this morning?” You nodded. This boy was persistent, you would give him that. He kept talking. “I see… Well, I'm sorry to hear that, darling. I would have loved to see it,” He said. 
Your lips twitched up in a smile. You wouldn’t have shown him anyway, but that didn’t matter.
“Thanks,” You whispered.
"You never answered my question," He pointed out. He was trying to get to you - get closer to you - and while any other girl would do backflips for the attention of a boy like him, you weren't any other girl. If he wanted to know you, then you couldn't let that happen. If you did, he might figure out your secret. Then you could lose everything - your education, your clean record, and the only money-making opportunity you were likely to get in this tiny, provincial town.
"I know." You sighed and closed your substitute sketchbook, just a little fed up. Maybe it was time to let the sunny, shy-girl facade drop. Perhaps a quick glimpse of who you really were would deter him. "But you're here too. So which are you? Unrequited lover or wannabe?"
The boy threw his head back and laughed, loud and clear. His laugh sounded like a stone splashing into a calm pond. Sudden and unique - one of a kind. When his gaze returned to you, he seemed to look you over as if reevaluating his previous judgment of your character. After a moment, he gave a slight nod and shrugged. 
"That's a fair point you make there, darling. I'll have to disappoint you, however, as I am merely here to pick up my sister." He gestured to the girls practicing on the field and then shot you a smirk. The boy held out his hand. “Pleasure to meet you, darling. I'm Kol, Kol Mikaelson.”
Your eyes flicked to his outstretched hand, weary.
"I…" 
Glancing up, you met the endless black pits that were his eyes. Your stomach felt queasy. Better to be safe than sorry.
You pushed his hand away. "I… don't particularly care." 
Without another word, you packed up your things and skipped down the bleachers. Exiting left of the football field. 
Perhaps you'd left him stunned. You didn't bother looking back to check.
You started seeing Kol quite often after that, which wouldn't have been weird had he not been a year above you. If it wasn't coincidence that saw you sharing both lunch period and study hall with him, then you didn't want to think about what it was. He kept his distance, which you appreciated. Kol didn't approach you for a while, but whenever you were in the same room with him you couldn't seem to shake a feeling that you were being watched. Closely. 
The day that pattern changed was the day you walked down the hall and found yourself greeted by photocopies of your art taped to every locker. A chill ran down your spine as your eyes landed on that first row of metal doors. The papers fluttered in the wind generated by passing students but you would recognize your art anywhere. 
It was one of the pages from your sketchbook - one of the sketches no one was supposed to see. 
This one depicted the football team, gathered on the field for practice. The sky above was dark and they had their helmets off. Each player's complexion was ghostly pale and their glowing red eyes all stared soullessly at the viewer. Their expressions displayed no emotion, but together they stood in a threatening formation. You had taken inspiration from both classic zombie movies and The Matrix for that sketch. In the top left corner, you had etched the title. You called it "The Hive." 
The only problem was, you hadn't exactly obtained the team's permission to draw it. 
To make matters worse, someone had added an inscription to the image that read: "Members of The Hive possess no individual thought or personality. Furthermore, they acknowledge only other facets of their collective consciousness." The words were scrawled across a crumpled sticky note attached to the top right-hand corner of the page. You hadn't written those words, but it sure looked like your handwriting. Your name was even signed at the bottom.
Someone had stolen and altered your sketchbook, and now they were using it against you.
Panic and paranoia welled up inside you. Clutching your books to your chest, you quickened your pace, catching glimpses of more and more hallways decorated with your sketch. Whispers followed you as you rushed down the hall to your locker, hoping to escape and find solace in your first class of the day, but you had no such luck. Reaching your destination, you gasped at the sight before you, recoiling in shame and confusion. It was like a shot taken straight from a television drama. This thief - whoever they were - had covered your locker with copies of that picture. 
Who would do something like this? You had only been in town a year - you wouldn't have thought that long enough to garner this degree of animosity from anyone.
"What the actual hell, Y/N?" A student exclaimed from down the hall.
Your mouth hung, gaping in shock and you floundered for something - anything to say. There was nothing. No defense. 
"Yeah, Y/L/N! What did Matt and the team ever do to you?"
Your eyes widened. "What?" You shook your head, blinking rapidly as you tried to explain, but your voice refused to rise over the commotion, accusations, and judgment. "N-no, they didn't. I mean, I wasn't trying to-to…"
"You realize how sick this is, right?" Another kid demanded, closer to you this time. "Like, seriously. Judgy much?"
"No, it's not like that," You insisted. It felt like your whole world had been tossed upside down. "I-I just-" You stammered, hapless. For once, it was the people around you who couldn't seem to hear.
"What a creep," Muttered someone else as they passed close enough for your hearing aids to register. Was that what everyone thought of you?
"No! Y-you don't understand! I-I didn't mean it like that. I-" Your heart sank. Shame overwhelmed you and you buried your face in your hands, sliding down the wall to the floor.
Your heart felt like a voodoo doll, impaled with all sorts of pins. You'd never felt impressed to explain yourself to anyone. You had never cared what anyone else thought of you. But when you had imagined all the ways your life might fall apart, this wasn't one of the ways you had envisioned. That drawing and the dozens of others like it - they were yours. 
You wished you'd never made them in the first place.
Shaking your head, you switched off your hearing aids and hugged your arms around yourself, perfectly content to stew in your own misery. A dull roar met your ears as students passed by. None stopped to address you. A few of them tossed crumpled-up photocopies of your sketch at your head but you ignored them.
Then a hand settled itself on your knee. 
Startled, you peeked between your fingers, expecting someone like the assistant principal or guidance counselor to be kneeling in front of you. Instead, you were met with the concerned countenance of none other than Kol Mikaelson. 
You froze, staring at him with wide eyes. 
He proffered a gentle smile and said something, but his words were lost to the prattling hum that encompassed your world without hearing aids. You preferred it this way. It was your natural state. You saw instead of listened, it was what made you such a good artist. Or so you'd thought.
You shook your head at him weakly, pointing to your ears, and mouthed, "I can't hear you."
Why was he here? Was he just going to tease you as he had a few weeks ago on the football stands? 
Kol nodded. "I know," He signed. His movements were small and lax - nonthreatening. 
Unsure how to interpret his sudden kindness and understanding, you shifted to sit up a little straighter, eyeing him. Kol's lips pressed into a thin line that tried to look like a smile. Without warning, he removed the textbooks resting in your lap and stood.
"Let's get you out of here, yeah?" He sighed, offering you his hand. Hesitantly, you reached out and took it, allowing him to pull you to your feet. You stiffened as the boy let go of your hand and instead wrapped his arm around your waist. He pulled you swiftly against his side, shielding you from the view of others in the hallway as he hastily but gently herded you down crowded hallways and out the heavy steel front doors. 
Just outside the school, there were picnic tables set up where students could sit to study or eat lunch. Those were deserted by now as first period was speedily approaching. Kol guided you to one of them and dropped your books on the table, gesturing for you to sit. You weren't overly fond of being told what to do, but you figured this was probably Kol's best effort to be nice so you obliged. He sat down in front of you and cupped your jaw in his hand. With his brows furrowed and expression drawn the boy seemed to be inspecting your face, though for what you couldn't be sure. 
Absently, you noticed that his hands were very warm despite the changing season. (Why that thought made your stomach queasy was a question for another time.)
Kol's thumb brushed over your cheek and you wanted to look away to hide the flare of heat that consumed your cheeks, but he wouldn't let you. 
"Well, you're not panicking," He observed after what felt like an eternity. "That's good." 
His words were muffled without your hearing aids but now, away from the commotion of the bustling hallways, you could understand him well enough. 
You gave a small nod and, refusing to meet his eyes, focused instead on the grass beneath your feet. 
"I'm fine," You whispered. Your voice was a little hoarse but he didn't know you well enough to recognize that. 
"Are you sure?"
The question was inevitable, yet you found yourself scowling anyway. 
Of course you were fine. You were always fine. 
You wanted to tell him that you didn't want his pity, that you weren't some distressing damsel and that he needed to mind his own business. You weren't some charity case he could use to prove to all the senior girls that he could be a sensitive boyfriend. (You'd been there once. You weren't going through it again.) But, as always, the boldness in your head could never seem to leave your lips.
"It's not your responsibility to take care of me," You told him instead. In your lap, your hands fiddled and tugged on the too-long sleeves of your sweater. You'd gotten chalk on your jeans again.
He let his hand drop and the swirling autumn winds cooled your cheeks. You sort of missed the warmth.
"I know that." Kol's concern morphed into a smirk. This was it. You prepared for the incoming ridicule. It never came. "You don't like anyone getting close, do you?" He guessed, casually leaning back as though he already knew the answer. (And respected it.) "Makes you uncomfortable, I'd imagine."
You shrugged and picked at the loose threads on your sleeve. Honestly, he was right - you were just a bucket of trust issues in a Technicolor wrapper. But was that any of his business? No.
"Why are you here?" You wondered in lieu of an answer. 
Kol raised a brow. "Apologies, darling. I was unaware that it's illegal for a bloke to be a good friend 'this side of the pond." 
"It's not illegal," You said. Your eyes narrowed. "But we're not friends."
You'd made a handful of friends since moving to this town. None of them had come to your aid. Then again, none of them knew about your sketchbook.
Kol smirked. "Consider this an application then!" He surmised, eyes glinting. Those unnerving tar pits seemed a little less dead today than they had before. What changed? He chuckled, amused at your loss for words, and continued. "Besides, I get the feeling I'm just about the only one who knows that sketchbook of yours was stolen from you. The only thing I want to know is, what made you draw that picture?" 
Maybe… if you told him the truth about the sketches, he wouldn't look any closer. 
"I don't like Stefan Salvatore," Came your quiet answer. 
That didn't seem to be what he was expecting, but he didn't look disappointed. Kol's lips twitched and he wet his lips in a way that betrayed a certain excitement. 
"Go on."
You took a breath.
"He and I were the only two new kids last year," You began. If you said this, you were going to sound like a lunatic, that was why you'd always opted to draw it out instead. "Strange things happen in this town, and they happen around him. No town has as many "animal attacks" as this one and those only started when he showed up. People started going missing. Some were found dead. Mr. Saltzman is our history teacher because the guy before him got ripped up right over there in the parking lot just before Stefan's first game as part of team. The police said it was a mountain lion, but I was there; I saw the body and there were no scratches. Then there's the way some of his friends a-and Mr. Saltzman look at him sometimes - I've seen them do it - like he's about to murder everyone in the room and they don't know how to stop him."
Kol stared at you. His expression had grown increasingly weary the longer you kept on rambling. When you finally closed your mouth, he nodded slowly, brows furrowed. You bit your lip, awaiting his response.
"That is…" He trailed off. To your great surprise, however, he nodded as if he actually believed you. "Deeply disturbing, darling." Kol's eyes narrowed and he leaned in closer. "You say you saw your teacher's corpse?" He asked.
You nodded. "The "bite" on his neck looked a lot more like buck-shot to me."
His eyes widened. "You think someone killed him?" He hissed.
"And the police covered it up."
"So why draw the football team?"
You hugged your arms around yourself. "Because Matt Donovan is in on it. It's him, Tyler Lockwood, and Stefan Salvatore - they've been acting so weird. Two months ago, Tyler and Stefan started acting really mean all of a sudden and the rest of the football team just started acting like zombies, doing anything they said. It was really freaky."
"And you drew it so you wouldn't have to be afraid." Kol nodded, smiling softly. "Put all the horrors in a little book and out of your head."
This kid had you dead to rights.
You tugged on the sleeves of your sweater. "I never meant to hurt anyone," You sighed.
"I know," He said. "For the record, I quite liked your little interpretation."
"You don't think I'm crazy?"
"I'm not sure yet," The dark-haired boy admitted with a shrug. "Honestly, I've never known another town to have as many functions as this one."
"Right?!" You exclaimed. Finally, someone else saw it! "Smells like organized crime to me…"
"Or cult activity."
"Or that."
"Or maybe you're just a little paranoid," Kol surmised. "But if that's the case, then who am I to judge?"
For the first time in a while, your shoulders shook with a genuine laugh. 
"Thanks Kol."
"Anytime, love."
And that boy lived up to his word. Over the span of the next several weeks, more of your sketches were spread about the school. It wasn't long before your so-called friends had all cut contact. Kol became the only person in town willing to talk to you. Every time a drawing was leaked, no matter how dark, twisted, or gruesome the image, Kol was always there to comfort you and compliment your art style. 
Each drawing that circulated the school was more damaging to your reputation than the last. Anyone you thought was in on the secret of Mystic Falls' suspicious deaths, you turned into a monster in the pages of your sketchbook. 
Jeremy Gilbert became a tortured Voodoo doll. 
("Well, there's an odd comparison," Kol commented idly, inspecting the array of pages that had overtaken your locker. "I quite like it."
A student shoved past you on their way to class, ramming painfully into your shoulder. You winced, aware that the action was purposeful, but you didn't say anything. Kol, however, glared at the kid - a cold, chilling sort of glare. 
You shrugged, readjusting your backpack.
"He just always seems so pained lately. 'Looks at everyone like they're gonna kill 'em.")
Elena, his sister, you portrayed as a prim, psychotic puppet master. 
("I'm sorry, but have I done something to you?" The popular and gorgeous former cheerleader asked when she confronted you about the sketch she clutched in her hand. Seniors Stefan Salvatore and Matt Donovan stood with their arms crossed, flanking her on both sides. The sight only served to reinforce the role your imagination had given her - the girl wore her ex's around her like accessories. They were always there to cover for her strange behavior.
"N-no, it's not like that. I-I-I swear!" You stammered, eyes flicking between her broad-shouldered bodyguards. You swallowed thickly. 
"Look, Y/N," Elena sighed. "I'm not mad at you, but whatever is going on in your life, you can't take it out on me. Or anyone else." 
"That's not what I'm doing," You mumbled, shuffling your feet. She didn't seem to hear you. 
"You know, if there's something bothering you, then you need to tell someone about it," Elena said. You were only a few months younger than her, yet she talked down to you as though you were a toddler. You wished the anger that flared and frothed inside you, didn't look like shame as it stained your cheeks. "I know we're not close, but you can always tell me if something's happening, okay?"
"No thank you, I'm fine." 
"Y/N, it's okay to let someone in." The girl pressed. 
You gritted your teeth, wishing she would just go. "I-"
"Pretty sure she doesn't have to tell you anything, sweetheart," A melodiously snide voice hummed from behind you. Glancing over your shoulder, you shot Kol a relieved smile. He dropped a quick wink in return before focusing on his fellow seniors. Elena and her posse seemed to tense up around him for some reason. 
"What's it to you, Kol?" Stefan demanded. 
"Oh, I dunno. Basic human decency? Nothing much," He replied. The dark-haired senior shoved his hands in his pockets and smirked, smug as a bug. 
"How 'bout you mind your own damn business for a change," Matt snapped. He almost made a move toward your friend but Elena stopped him with a hand on his arm.
Kol snorted at their reactions. "Why so defensive? 'Weren't expecting this lovely young lady to have some back-up?" He slung an arm around your shoulder and began twisting a lock of your hair around and around his finger. You sort of liked him tugging on it the way he did.
"We were just a little concerned," Elena claimed.
"Right." Kol smiled thinly. Releasing his fingers from your hair, he took a threatening step forward. You hadn't realized before just how tall that boy was. "Well, as Y/N said, she doesn't need your concern. So why don't you run along and take your puppets with you." 
The three seniors reluctantly surrendered under the force of Kol's steely glare and you watched them go, hugging your arms around yourself and shivering. Kol turned back to you. His hands found their way to your shoulders and he stopped down a little to look you in the eyes.
"Are you alright?" He asked. His eyes were still dark, but not the pits of tar they'd been before. They were more like soft dirt now, holding the promise of future life. 
Kol gently smoothed his hands over your arms, spreading a gooey, molten warmth everywhere his skin touched. There was something bubbly in your lungs and the shudder that ran down your spine this time wasn't from nerves. 
You took a breath and tried to ignore how his touch made you want to melt.
"I'm fine," You lied. You were fine. You were always fine.
The boy smiled as though he didn't quite believe you. "That's good." He tilted his head in the direction Elena and the others had disappeared to. "You were right about them, though. There's definitely something strange going on there."
You nodded. "Thanks."
"Of course, darling.")
Bonnie Bennett, by the grace of your overactive imagination, had been transformed into a wicked witch. Ancient runes glowed in the air, surrounding her dark ritual. Oddly enough, the thief had changed a few of them, though you weren't sure why.  
("If I might ask, why a witch for that one?" Kol asked as the girl herself scowled venomously at you from the other side of the gym.
He sat with his arm wrapped firmly around your waist, leaning in close so you would hear him though he spoke softly, having stayed a little longer after school to help you with your chemistry homework now that no one else would. You could smell cinnamon and something tangy on his breath as his lips brushed over your ear and you tried not to shiver. The whole school probably thought you were a couple, but you knew that wasn't the case. 
"There's some weird looking stuff in that girl's locker," You whispered back, pretending to be blissfully unaware of the daggers she was glaring at your head. If you didn't know better, you would have sworn the temperature of the room dropped a few degrees. "At the fundraiser we had last year, there was this car that just caught fire outta nowhere. The thing wasn't even running and it just exploded. Everybody was freaking out and running but Bonnie just stood there, staring at it like she was possessed."
Kol glanced up at the Bennett girl again. "You know what?" He decided, tilting his head. "I can see it." He sent Bonnie a little wave and turned back to your homework. "I loved the runes you included in that drawing, though," The boy added. 
"Yeah?" You couldn't help but smile.
"Absolutely. Most of them were even correct," He shot you a crooked grin. "It was impressive."
You raised a brow. "Can you… read Runic?"
"Mmhm," He hummed, checking off another problem on your homework. "Remind me and I'll teach you sometime."
You were about to ask where and when he would have learned something like that, but the question was plucked from your brain before you got the chance.
You drew in a sharp breath as his hand, which had previously rested like a ghost's on your hip, slipped deftly under your shirt. Unsure whether you liked it or not, you couldn't decide as your brain had simply quit functioning properly. All you could seem to register was that Kol was touching you and it wasn't a "just friends" sort of touch. Your cheeks felt like they'd caught fire as you glanced up at him, blinking owlishly, only to find that he was already watching you with an unexpectedly sweet smile. He studied your expression, waiting for you to protest - to say no. 
When you remained silent, that sweet smile twisted into a smirk. Leaning down, you felt a soft, tender kiss to your cheek just as Kol pressed his fingers firmly into your skin, wasting no time before he began to explore. His hand was warm, gentle, and soft as he stroked and petted your stomach. Something warm and jittery built up in your chest. It climbed up your throat, threatening to spill out. You whimpered quietly, unable to hold it back. Yet, that only seemed to encourage him. Kol hummed and slid his hand lower with another kiss to your cheek. What was that boy doing to you? Your whole body burned as he continued to fondle and caress you shamelessly. Shuddering, you bit back a moan and curled yourself closer to him, fisting his jacket as though he could hide you from the world. Kol just smirked and continued going over your homework. 
He didn't let go of you - didn't stop touching you - until the bell rang. Then he just got up, shot you a wink, and left without another word.)
Slowly, that boy earned your trust because, though you didn't know exactly how to define your relationship with him, he was always there for you. It was nice to have someone who knew why you had drawn those pictures. Not because you were self-righteous and judgemental, but because there was something very real and very disturbing going on and you needed a way to purge the constant fear from your mind.
Kol believed you. There was something wrong with this town. You weren't crazy.
But no one else could see that. 
The day a sketch of Sheriff Forbes - Caroline's mother - made its way around the student body was the day you were called to the principal's office. The picture displayed Sheriff Forbes as a creature like the Other Mother from Coraline, dutifully sewing shut the mouths of townspeople and stitching buttons over their eyes. The Sheriff was a kind woman. She didn't deserve to be depicted that way. But at the same time, you knew she was hiding something.
So there you sat on the wrong side of the principal's desk, eyes locked firmly on your lap as the graying woman watched you with a disappointed frown.
"Y/N, this is not acceptable," She said, tight-lipped with tired eyes.
"I know," You mumbled.
"Then why did you draw these pictures in the first place?" The woman demanded. 
You shrugged haplessly. She wouldn't believe you if you told the truth. She'd probably recommend you to a mental health institution. 
The principal sighed. "Y/N, it's not my business what you do in your free time, but this has to stop. You need to stop."
"It's not me!" You protested. "Someone stole my sketchbook."
"Well, then you had better find a way to get it back, and once you do I highly recommend you burn it. Otherwise, I will have no choice but to suspend you," She said, folding her hands atop the desk. "The mayor has also been made aware of these sketches and she asked me to warn you that, should another one of these offensive images appear, you can consider her commission canceled."
Your heart stuttered and sank. 
You wanted to scream and cry and tell the world it was all so unfair but all that came out of your mouth was, "Okay."
The principal nodded. "Good afternoon, Miss Y/L/N."
That was your cue to leave. 
You exited her office and shut the door behind you, letting go of a long sigh. Kol was sitting outside, waiting for you. He was always there for you. Upon seeing your distraught expression, the boy got up and wound his arms around you, holding you close. You clung to him, squeezing your eyes shut and grinding your teeth as you buried your face in his chest. 
Kol pressed a feather-light kiss to the crown of your head. “Are you alright?” He asked, just as he always did.
You took a deep breath-
(You were fine. You were always fine.)
-and let out a string of cuss words so foul they’d make a sailor blush.
He hissed in sympathy and hugged you tighter. “I take it that’s a no.”
Kol was a good friend. True, his words sometimes carried a sting to them and some of his touches lingered a little too long to be just friendly. But he was good. The two of you had come a long way since you'd first met him. When he pulled away, he probably should have rested his hands on your waist but Kol grabbed you by your hips instead. His hands were very warm and you found yourself blushing. But if you were being honest, you liked the way he was touching you - the way he had been for a while now.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked, hesitantly watching your face though you refused to meet his eyes.
"No," You answered. 
Kol offered you a strained smile and tugged you back into that tight hug. "You know you can tell me anything, right?" He said, gently.
Kol had been such a good friend to you. The least you could do was show him some trust.
"I'd rather show you." 
***
Her hand slid down his arm to his hand which Kol reluctantly lifted off her hip. Then, without another word - because she didn’t talk all that much - she led him off down the hallway. He allowed her to pull him along, amused (and two other things he was trying really hard to ignore.)
There was this funny feeling he got when he looked at that girl sometimes, with her chalk and paint-stained clothes, messy hair, and tired eyes. It was warm and pleasant and it reminded him of how he felt after a really big feed, except not like that at all. He felt satisfied, content… full, but there was nothing sinister about it. Kol found himself unsure how to label that sensation seeing has he’d so rarely felt it and when he had it was fleeting - gone before he could enjoy it. 
This time, however, when it came, that feeling lingered.
And not because he’d killed anyone recently! Kol Mikaelson had not rubbed out a single soul in that miserable little town. (A surprise to all, certainly.) That odd feeling stayed with him day to day, and he tried to ignore how pleasant it was because surly it would disappear any day now… But it never did. Kol knew it had something to do with his little artist but, honestly, that just confused him further. More baffling still was the notion that, over the past few weeks, he hadn’t found himself craving the high that exacting death always afforded him. Sure, he felt a little… hungry (that didn’t seem like the right term) on the weekends, but then he’d see her in the hallways and he felt content again. It wasn’t the sort of satisfaction he took from any of his games either.
That’s what this whole thing had started as - what it was. (Just that he had to remind himself of that fact was unsettling.) It was just a game. He’d played it hundreds of times before with hundreds of girls like her. It was the game where he came into their lives from out of the blue, stripped away every single thing they cared about - robbed them of their friends, their reputation, their comforts, their dreams - and did that all while making them love him for it. Then, once he got them into his bed, he shattered their illusions right before he killed them.
He was so close to winning this one too. Her friends had all abandoned her, half the town was convinced she was schizophrenic, and her dreams were one little sketchbook page away from being crushed. There was just one problem. 
This time, he didn’t want the game to end.
This time, he felt an uncomfortable stabbing sensation in his chest (not unlike the point of a dagger) every time she flinched. Every time she switched off her hearing aids, every time she hugged herself and sighed, every time she pursed her lips on the verge of tears - Kol felt something he hadn’t felt in well over nine hundred years. Guilt. Because he was the one spreading that girl’s naughty little pictures through the halls just so she would want him around. 
Kol simply didn’t understand what made her different. She was human. She wasn’t strong or powerful or even witty. The girl was shy, she hardly said a word to anyone but him, and when some kid shouted abuse in her face she just stood there and took it. She was so plain and boring that Kol often found himself wondering why he hadn’t eaten her yet. 
Sometimes though, she surprised him. 
She surprised him when she shoved her way though the front doors in the middle of the school day. Previously, Kol was convinced that girl had never broken a rule in her life.
She surprised him when she cussed like a sailor and didn’t apologize one bit. Was a girl like that even allowed to say those words? Legally?
But most of all, she surprised him when she tugged him along by the hand in the drizzling rain through the backwoods of Virginia, off the hiking trails, and down into a ravine where she only stopped in front of a looming chain-link fence. That fence had a big, red “No Trespassing” sign attached to it.
She suprised him when she was always fine. That girl accepted his hugs, his touch, his comfort - but she didn’t need it.
Thus, Kol was well and truly floored when his tiny sweet, delicious little artist dropped his hand and scrambled up and over that fence like a monkey scales a tree. He couldn’t believe his eyes. She had absolutely, positively, and without a doubt just broken a law. That couldn’t be right. She was too shy to break the law. This was the same girl that apologized when she broke her bloody pencil.
"You coming or not?" She challenged. And then... Then, she smiled.
The sight of it took Kol's breath away.
That smile. He didn't understand it. Y/N was no witch - he knew that for certain. But somehow there was something magical about that smile.
There were moments - only a handful of them - like the one he was in right then. Those times were so rare but when they occurred, Kol's tiny, sweet, piquant little artist would look back at him, usually over her shoulder, and send him this... this smile. The twist of her lips he'd seen her wear when he'd first met her, the one she passed out to her so-called friends, was a fake he came to realize.
This real one was so much prettier.
Words had so rarely failed him, but there was no language Kol knew that could quite describe just what that smile looked like - what it made him feel or why. That smile of her's was just so real - so deeply heartfelt - that it always made him want to smile back. Her's was never never a silly or obnoxious grin that she gave to him. It was this tiny quirk of her lips that made her eyes sparkle and her cheeks glow a subtle, appetizing pink. Her beauty wasn't like that of the models in those magazines Bekah liked - she wasn't spectacularly eye-catching. That girl's smile didn't light up a room, but it lit a fire in his chest the likes of which he'd never known. It twisted his stomach and Kol felt so hungry every time he got to witness that smile. Except that hunger wasn't the sinister kind he was so familiar with. When she smiled at him, he didn't want to hurt that girl.
He just wanted to pin her against a tree and kiss those beautifully curled lips until the taste of his extraordinary artist was seared into his infallible mind for all eternity.
It wasn't just lust either. It was more than that. Kol didn't want her just because she had a pretty smile. He needed her because that smile only appeared for him - no one else. Kol could make that girl smile and it had nothing to do with his physical appearance. His little artist's smile was reserved just for him simply because he was there to see it. She smiled because he existed and that idea was one he couldn't help but revel in. After all, when was the last time he got something all to himself without having to fight tooth and nail for it?
“Say, love, are we getting close to the bridge?” He wondered. It was the bridge or the falls, but he couldn’t be sure. Y/N didn’t reply. Her lovely, perfect, scrumptious little laugh was all he got in response. After a few more minutes of walking in silence - which he found he liked better than all the other girls he’d ever played with who always felt a need to fill the gap with meaningless prattle - they reached their destination.
So, Kol grinned. That was his real smile too. Only she could bring it out. "Of couse, darling."
He jumped and scaled the fence with the same ease as his quiet companion who took off again as soon as his feet hit the ground. It wasn't long before his enhanced hearing caught the sound of water rushing nearby.
Once free of the tree line, Kol glimpsed the dreary silhouette of Wickery Bridge breaking through the haze of rain and gloom. His little artist glanced back at him with something wild and ferocious gleaming in her eyes. For a moment, he was taken aback by the sight. But that moment was swiftly overtaken by sheer, lucidious excitement. He returned her smile and she bounded off down toward the water. He followed, enraptured and curious as she came to a stop underneath the bridge. 
“Alright, my sweet, I think I’ve let you go on long enough,” He said upon catching up with her, not that doing so was any struggle. “What’s so important that you brought me all the way out here?” 
The girl didn’t say anything. Instead, she began climbing up the mess of rocks and driftwood that had collected on the banks of the river, making her way up to the crevice where the bridge split from the shoreline. As she did, her hand slipped on one of the rocks and she spat out another string of cuss words that would peel the scales off a snake. Normally, Kol would have been impressed; however, he was a little too busy focusing on the minuscule part of him that didn’t want to rip out her throat. 
She’d cut her hand on those rocks and it wasn’t just a little scrape, like the ones he’d grown accustomed to. This was a long, jagged slit across her palm and her all-too-tempting blood was spilling down her arm in beautiful crimson rivers. 
And terrible, awful, horrid reality came crashing back in on him.
For a while there, Kol had almost forgotten the two of them weren’t the same. Somehow he’d felt full enough - full of something, full of her - for long enough that he’d forgotten he wasn’t who and what he was pretending to be. He’d forgotten about what he was doing and why he was there and what he was supposed to be doing with her. He’d forgotten that he was the predator and she was the prey. 
He was there solely to charm her into surrendering her blood and her body. That was it.
THAT. WAS. IT.
Kol hurt people. That was what he did. He screwed up, and he hurt people, and he laughed about it.
So why did the thought of sinking his teeth into that artist’s pretty little neck seem to tear his lungs to shreds? No - not his lungs - that thing between them. That thing he ignored. That thing he didn’t have. Most people call it a heart.
What was that about? Kol was a monster. He hadn’t felt anything in years, aside from rage, hunger, and the occasional apathy. One thousand years of never giving a damn about the value of human life. And now what? His heart suddenly decided to garner affection for one lonely, miserable, pathetic, perfect, baffling, innocent, gorgeous, plush, soft, disillusioned little artist? Now?
Why now? Why her?
(It had been so long. And he’d had no one.)
She was the only one who ever smiled just for him. The only one who ever trusted him enough to let him see how terrified she truly was. She was scared, so scared all the time that something would spring from the shadows that lurked around every corner to snuff out her soul. She should be, he knew. She was right to be scared. Because Kol was right next to her and he was the only person not in her sketchbook. Sure, she’d never had the chance to put him in there but he’d asked her once what he would look like if she were to draw him like she did everyone else, and his tantalizing little artist had told him she didn’t see Kol that way - that he was her friend. She didn’t know it, and he didn’t want her to know it, but she should be scared of him. 
Kol wanted to kill her - needed to kill her. He craved so desperately to ravish that appetizing girl right where they stood. Bloody hell, she should be terrified! 
Yet, he didn’t want to scare her - didn’t mean to. He was just hungry - that was all. No one was around. No one could stop him. She didn’t need to be afraid. He could make her feel good. She might like it. Kol was just hungry - he didn’t want to hurt her. One taste wouldn’t hurt her so bad, would it? She would forgive him. One bite would be enough and then he’d stop. Except he wouldn’t and Kol knew that. He would drain every last drop of scarlet from her body and he knew she would be the most exhilarating high he’d ever get. But he didn’t have to feel bad about it. He could dump her body in the river and he’d never see her again. 
Oh.
That was it.
He’d never see her again.
No. No, he wanted to see her smile again. Wanted to hear her laugh. Wanted to listen to all of her secrets and wanted that girl to let him touch her for real. No. No, no, no, nonononononononononono.
And all this ran through his head before his artist had even finished cussing. 
Y/N waved her hand in the air, displaying her cut. “God hates me!” She called down to him cheerfully. That sunny demeanor that had once annoyed him so now brought him a laugh.
“That’s on you, darling. Perhaps if you were to tell me what it is that you’re trying to achieve, I might be able to assist,” He pointed out, still chuckling to himself. The girl shrugged and reached into the crevice, feeling around for something. “If you get bit by a snake, I’m going to laugh,” Kol mused. She twisted her other hand around and flipped him the bird. After another moment of watching her grope around in a dark hole, his little artist let out an exclamation of success and retrieved her arm which was now attached to a large, black duffle bag. Carefully, she climbed down and tossed the bag on the ground. 
“Ta da!” She grinned at him. It was an odd expression - like her face didn’t quite know how to express her current joy to another being.
Kol raised a brow. “Wow,” He deadpanned. “Color me impressed.” 
Her smile didn’t falter.
“The council just finished renovating this bridge,” She said as though that explained everything.
“And?”
Instead of answering, she simply bent down and unzipped the bag at her feet. Meanwhile, ever the gentleman, Kol forced himself to turn away from admiring the exquisite view of her cleavage this action presented him. He wanted her, yes. Kol delighted in reducing his little artist into a blushing puddle when he touched her. But if he was going to have that girl, he was going to have her everything. Her smile, her heart, her mind, her body, and her respect. Everything. Not just empty lust.
From out of the bag, Y/N drew a pair of gloves, a mask, and two cans of what Kol now recognized to be spray paint. Then, donning the gloves and mask, she marched down to the concrete trusses of Wickery Bridge and got to work. The giant concrete slabs were practically one perfectly untouched canvas for her to exploit.
Suddenly, all those strange behaviors made a whole lot of sense.
“Bloody hell, the girl’s a vandal!” Kol barked a laugh. "I wondered what it was you were so desperate to keep me away from,” He said, shaking his head. “I had my suspicions but this… was not one of them.”
“Oh really,” His artist scoffed. She started out her mural with layers of red. “And what were those suspicions?”
“Abusive parents was number one,” He listed, stretching out casually on the ground, back against a rock. Not the most uncomfortable position he’d ever held. “Self-harm was number two, and number three was a sordid drug habit.”
“Do I really come off that pathetic?” She wondered blithely. 
“Most of the time, yeah.”  
The girl snorted. “Good for me!”
“That desperate to hide your little crimes, are you?” He chuckled.
“Yep!”
“Why?”
“Well, mostly-” She paused to switch colors, going with black now. “-because if Mayor Lockwood ever found out I was the one painting her little town red, I’d lose my commission to paint town square and uh… I like money.”
“Understandable.” He nodded. “I sense an “and” coming.”
“And,” She continued with a slight laugh. “I might have possibly tagged a few properties worth a lot more than a bridge.” She hesitated. “Or a town… or a castle.”
That last remark was enough to have Kol sitting up straight. “So you were the miscreant who wrote out “Blood Money” on the side of my house!” He exclaimed, wide-eyed. It was impressive as no one in his family had heard anyone approach the house that night, yet the message had been there in bright red the next morning. How had she pulled that off?
The girl froze in her painting. “That was your house?”
“Indeed it was.”
“Whoops.”
Kol waved a hand. “Eh. No harm done.” 
“So… not a mafia base then?” 
He wished she was wrong. Kol really wished he wasn’t everything that terrified his precious artist. But he was. And that wouldn’t change.
So he laughed.
“Well, if I told you that, I’d have to kill you,” He joked. Except it wasn’t a joke. But he could let her think it was. He could pretend he believed that too. He could pretend he was just a normal kid, enjoying the company of a beautiful girl. He could pretend that.
She threw her head back and laughed. 
What a beautiful thing.
“Okay! I’m done talking now!” She announced without providing any segue whatsoever. He liked that about her though, that she was blunt and direct. It amused him. 
“Well, what am I supposed to do then?” He protested. He wasn’t all that broken up about it. Just being around that girl was enough to sate his hunger for her. That's what his little game had turned into. 
She shrugged and flipped her hearing aids off, so he supposed that was the end of it. 
“You know, I’m actually a vampire,” He told her. Kol knew she couldn’t hear him and his words fell on deaf ears. He figured he should tell her the truth though. Even if it was only this once. At least then he could say he had. 
“I’ve murdered hundreds of thousands of people - plenty of them for no reason at all. As for you…
“Well, I’ll probably kill you one day. Hell, I almost did just now. I’m not all that great at self-control, you see.” He let go of a bitter laugh and scooped a pebble off the ground, laying back he tossed it over his head and caught it again and again. “But I’m really great at screwing things up!”
“I stole your sketchbook,” He admitted, a little quieter. “It was just supposed to be a bit of fun, but it’s not fun anymore. I-I don’t like to see you hurting. I could stop. That bloody school would never see another picture.” 
He lifted his head, watching her back as she continued painting. 
“But would you still love me if I did?” Kol sighed, shaking his head. “I don’t think you would. You don’t need me.”
This time, when he tossed the rock, he didn’t catch it. The stone flew and landed in the river, lost to the moving water.
“Nobody does.”
He was glad she couldn’t hear him. He could talk to her and she would never know. Blissfully ignorant, he could watch with a lazy smile as she swung her hips and just kept on painting, without a care in the world. His horribly lovely artist sang quietly to herself as the light of the setting sun bounded off the water and carded through her hair, casting an ephemeral glow all around her. He wondered if her quiet verse might be meant for him. He knew that wasn’t the case. For someone so observant and suspicious, she could be quite blind. He doubted she could be in love with him or that she understood how he felt for her. But like with the rest of this bittersweet scene, Kol could pretend. 
“Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows
Everything that's wonderful is what I feel when we're together
Brighter than a lucky penny
When you're near the rain goes, disappears, dear
And I feel so fine
Just to know that you are mine…”
***
Robert Frost had been right, you decided the day your world fell apart. You would have preferred your world had been destroyed in one giant, raging fire. Of course, you didn't get to choose. Your world froze over slowly. The cold strangled your opportunities and relationships one by one until you were left entirely alone.
You stood in front of your locker that day, staring at the final nail in the coffin of your reputation and future. This was how it was to end. In ice. You felt like ice as you stared at that final drawing - cold and despondent. 
That sketch was of Alaric Saltzman, your kindhearted history teacher who believed in infinite chances for a student's grades. He always wore a pained smile - it was a smile for everyone else because he was still hurting but wanted the kids he taught to look forward to the rest of their lives as he no longer did.
You had drawn him differently.
No smile. Just the pain. Pain that had morphed into bitterness and bitterness into hate. He was sitting in his desk chair, facing towards the door - toward the viewer - with a bottle of bourbon in one hand, and a gun in the other. Smoke rose from the barrel of that gun, and the viewer's perception was tinted red.
You had drawn your history teacher murdering you in cold blood. 
Who does that?
"So…" The silky lilt of Kol's gentle accent tugged you from your thoughts and brought just a little relief. Even if you had nothing, you had Kol. "Do I want to know what inspired this one? Or would I rather sleep tonight?"
You shrugged, apathetic. The weight of the moment yet to sink in.
"I saw a gun in his desk," You answered tonelessly. 
"No shit?"
"Uh, huh." You nodded. "Right next to the colored pencils."
The boy whistled. "I'm regretting some of the things I put in my essay now," He said. 
A tiny smile tugged at your lips. "As if you did it."
"Ouch, darling. That hurts." He chuckled lightly and you felt his arms encircle your waist from behind. He tugged you close, resting his head on your shoulder. "You don't know everything about me."
He was trying to joke, for your sake. But nothing could make this better.
"What do I do now?" You asked with a sigh. Kol pressed a kiss to your cheek - light as a feather. For whatever reason, it felt like an apology.
"Well, if I were you," He said. "I'd go out with a bang."
You nodded and shrugged - indifferent. "A bang sounds good."
Kol released you as you slipped your backpack off your shoulders. Eyeing you with a mix of confusion and anticipation, your best friend's eyes flew wide as he watched you wander over to the nearest window, arms reeling back. 
With all your might, you flung your back through the window.
It shattered into a million tiny pieces.
The raucous hallway fell silent and a few dozen pairs of eyes locked on you.
"One of you bastards stole my sketchbook," You told them, not bothering to raise your voice in the slightest. "Is that what you wanted? To see me fall apart?"
No one answered of course as you glanced between stunned expressions.
"Well, I hope you're happy now," You rasped. Shoving a few kids out of your way with the harshness that had been building inside you for months now, you left that school behind you and didn't look back.
The only sound to be heard was Kol's low whistle as the heavy steel doors swung shut. The tears streaming down your face were silent.
You sprinted home through the driving rain, the sky dark and close, almost like a blanket. Perhaps the whole world was crying with you. After all, it always seemed to rain when you were sad.
To your relief, your parents were still at work. You had the comfort of crying in peace. Slamming the door shut, you pressed your back against it, slid to the floor… and screamed.
This was your life and it was crumbling in your hands. What else were you supposed to do?
A light knock tapped against the door. So quiet you wouldn't have heard it if the vibrations weren't centered right next to your ear. 
"Y/N?" Kol's voice called from the other side of the wood. You didn't say anything, though your ragged breathing was far from quiet. "Y/N, I know you're in there. I can hear you crying." He laid his hand flat. You could hear that ring he always wore scraping against the wooden surface. "Please let me in?"
You shook your head. "I'm not some charity case," You choked out, throat raw.
"Perhaps to someone else you are," Kol said. He must have been kneeling on your front porch. "But not me. I don't have charity, darling. I'm rather selfish actually."
You huffed a laugh. It was humorless.
"Then why come?"
"Because I'm selfish," He replied. Then quieter. "I don't like to see you cry." His ring tapped against the door a few times. "Darling, please let me in? I want to help."
Your teeth clenched like a vice.
"I don't need you."
For years you'd longed to say those words. Finally, in this haze of fury and anguish, they weren't so hard to speak.
"I know." He sighed. "I know you don't, darling. It's part of why I like you so much."
Well as long as he understood, perhaps it was alright 
You scraped yourself off the floor and opened the door. Kol stood outside, drenched to the bone, same as you. His eyes weren't dead anymore - not the distant black holes they'd once been. No, his eyes were warm chocolate now, melting with something sad. He really did care.
"Come in," You signed, too worn out to speak. 
Kol's brows furrowed. He seemed worried for a moment, though you couldn't guess why. Then he took a tentative step through the door, smiled, and stepped closer, closing the door behind him. 
You watched him take his shoes and coat off through the dim light. Your house was dark. You hadn't bothered with any lights. Once he'd finished, Kol glanced up at you questioningly. You regarded him for a moment. After all, these sorts of situations never seemed to turn out well in the books you'd read and the shows you'd watched. The characters in those stories always seemed to end up doing something they'd regret.
Or maybe they didn't regret it. 
You thought you would though. 
So, contrary to what Kol was likely expecting, you didn't throw yourself into his arms. You just turned and shuffled into the kitchen. You finally switched on some lights. After a moment, he followed you, watching intently. Milling about in science, you collected the supplies required to make the two of you a cup of tea. Your quiet nature combined with your parent's distrust of humanity meant you'd never really had a friend like Kol before - someone you brought to your house and shared food with.
"You hungry?" You asked, waiting for the water to boil. Your hands shook a little, but you didn't feel like speaking. He leaned against the counter opposite you and offered a thin smile you felt you didn't quite understand.
"I'll be okay," He signed back after a moment. He took a deep breath. "I'm more worried about you."
You grimaced involuntarily, eyes shifting to the kettle on the stove. Inside, the pressure would be building until it all rushed out.
"I'm not broken, Kol," You whispered, voice hoarse and thick with more emotion than you'd ever known how to say.
"I know that-" He began, lifting his hands defensively.
"Then why do you look at me like I am?"
Kol's lips pressed into a thin line, nodding. You'd caught onto his ways a long time ago. That boy had been eyeing you like no one you'd ever known since you'd first met him. The only difference was now you were brave enough to call him out on it. So what if he saw you for who you really were? He'd seen enough of it by now. You were sick of hiding anyway.
Kol sighed and pushed off the counter. He made his way toward you with soft eyes and tentative steps until he stood just inches away, boxing you in. You met his dark chocolate eyes and refused to back down even though you knew your cheeks were stained pink. You'd never let anyone this close before.
Pursing his lips, the boy glanced down at the space between you and lifted his hand. He trailed his knuckles hesitantly over your side, then met your eyes again as if to ask permission. You swallowed thickly, but didn't tell him no. With a ghost of a smile, Kol laid his hands on your hips and squeezed firmly. You couldn’t withhold a shudder. His thumbs slipped under your shirt and rubbed your skin softly as he'd done for you a few times before, knowing how much you liked it. His hands seemed to fit perfectly over your hips as though he'd been made to hold you. 
Your eyes fluttered shut and you relaxed into his touch, letting go of a sigh. His searing hands felt nice when the whole world felt so cold. You needed him closer. 
Reaching up, you fisted the collar of his shirt rather harshly and dragged him toward you, pressing your whole body against his. He flinched slightly, surprised by your newfound eagerness, but he quickly reciprocated. Kol chuckled softly and you felt his lips graze your temple before he clinched your hips tighter and lifted you to sit atop the counter. Your heart stuttered and raced in your chest and you gasped sharply, drawing back enough to catch the smirk dancing on his lips. Your cheeks reddened further as he urged you to spread your legs so he could stand between them. His arms circled around your back and you hesitated.
So what if he was a senior? So what if you were a couple of months younger than he was? He'd been a good friend to you. 
Shaking your doubts away, you wrapped your legs around him and rested your head on his chest. Kol hummed quietly and pressed another soft kiss to the crown of your hair.
"I know you're not broken, darling," He said. His hands ran up and down your back, massaging a blazing heat into your bones. "I'm just trying to figure out what it is that you really are."
Your hands on his shirt clenched tighter.
"I'm angry,” You admitted. 
“Why?”
His question prompted your lips to twist into a scowl as a hysterical laugh bubbled past your lips.
“Really? You’re asking me why?” You huffed, shaking your head. “How ‘bout why not? I’m sick of it, Kol. All of it. The lies, the expectations - nothing is right in this town and I hate it! I’m seventeen! I should get to feel safe but I see people and they’re dropping like flies. And you’d think I’d at least get the luxury of being terrified, but no! I have to act like nothing is wrong!” You looked up at him, tears returning to sting your eyes. “I tried to. I really did. But it was too much and I couldn’t and I had to put it all somewhere. Now some idiot who thinks they’re funny just up and ruined my whole future. I’ll never get a job here now, not like it matters because mom and dad are shipping me off to some mental institution-”
“What?!” Kol cut your rambling off suddenly. Reeling back, he stared at you with wide eyes. You just shrugged. “Your parents are sending you away over this?” He demanded.
You raised a brow. “Kol, this is kind of a big thing.”
“How?!” He exclaimed. His grip on your hips tightened. He seemed agitated - more than you would expect. “You drew some creepy pictures. So what?! Who cares?!”
“A lot of people care,” You deadpanned. “I drew the likeness of people around me without their consent. That's a big no-no. My parents are worried I’m overstressed, narcissistic, and paranoid. They say I need help.”
“No, that’s not-” He cut himself off this time, teeth grinding. He wouldn’t look at you, just squeezed his eyes shut tight. You waited for him to gather his thoughts. 
“They can’t take you away from me.” 
Finally, he looked up. Smoldering black eyes met your own with a determination that couldn’t possibly have belonged to an eighteen year old boy. It was etherial - hard to capture and even harder to understand. His eyes seemed darker all of a sudden. An odd trick of the light. 
“That’s a nice sentiment,” You said quietly. “But unless you’ve got some hard-core magic up your sleeve, it’s not gonna change anything.”
Kol nodded stiffly. “Magic, eh?” His voice was dry - strained almost. He let go of you and took a step back, bracing his hands on the counter. The breaths he drew were long and deep - shaking. His eyes flicked back to yours, blazing with something needy. He cursed. 
“Screw it.”
The boy surged forward and his lips caught yours before you could even blink. His arms wound around you again and held you tight and close. One hand wove itself into your hair, tugging on the strands greedily. You couldn’t seem to focus enough to keep your eyes open, they fluttered closed as Kol pressed closer to you. You weren’t sure what to do or how to react, so you just tentatively kissed him back.
Kol flinched. Actually flinched, like he hadn’t expected his affection to be returned.
He pulled away, chest heaving with ragged, uneven breaths. 
Had you done the right thing? Would you regret this tomorrow? Would he?
“Kol, wha-”
His lips on yours shut your doubts up pretty quickly. 
“I’m so sorry about all of this,” That boy whispered into your mouth. “But it’s okay. You don’t have to worry anymore. I’m going to fix everything, darling. I promise.”
He left you no time to think. He just pressed you closer - as close as he possibly could and you felt warm. Warm and safe and wanted. His fervent kisses grew increasingly heated and desperate by the second. It was like you were in a haze, possessed almost. There was a sweetness and hunger to him that you were entirely unaccustomed to. Holding the back of your head with a gentle hand, Kol was tender and patient yet determined as he licked at the seam of your mouth. You gasped, flinching as you felt his arm around your waist constrict almost painfully. Seizing the opportunity, Kol swiftly deepened the kiss with a hum of satisfaction. He wasn’t harsh or forceful about it. You just weren’t sure. A tiny whimper escaped your throat but he just swallowed it eagerly. Did you really want this? Were you ready? 
You felt suffocated, trapped, and unable to breathe. You pulled back, trembling. But Kol wouldn’t let you go. He broke away, shaking his head.
“No, no. Darling, shhhhhh.” He combed your hair back with his fingers. It was comforting. “You’re alright. I’m not doing anything.”
“Kol, please-”
“No, you’re fine. Everything is going to be alright. Just trust me,” He promised. The boy smiled and settled his lips on yours again. You didn’t fight him. All you could seem to do was shudder as he captured your lower lip and bit down. On his shirt, your hands relaxed. It was almost as if he’d drugged you. Something about that was disturbing, yet you clenched your thighs around him nonetheless.
“See?” Kol flashed you a soft grin as he broke away this time, pressing a sweet kiss against the corner of your mouth. “You’re okay, love. This isn’t me hurting you.”
Then what was?
Kol’s hands slid beneath your shirt and they were so warm as he ran them over your waist and higher onto your ribcage. You had half a mind to let him do anything he wanted, but something wasn’t right. The realization hit you like a ton of bricks at terminal velocity. 
On the stovetop, the tea kettle screamed a warning.
Magic was your first clue. That and he’d said he’d fix things. 
What if he already had?
You stilled. All the warmth in his touch faded in an instant and you let go of him. You didn’t cry out or shove him back. You just quit moving.
Kol’s mouth slowed soon enough. He pulled his hands away and stepped back. The boy eyed you for a moment, but you wouldn’t look at him. Then he cursed. 
“Y/N, I’m so sorry. I-I don’t know what happened.” Throwing his head back, he scrubbed a hand over his face and groaned. “I don’t even know what I was thinking. I shouldn’t have pushed you. That was a disgusting thing to do. Please forgive me?”
You didn’t. You just drew your knees up to your chest, curling into a ball. The tears came back. Your ribcage shook with your pained breaths. 
“Y/N?” His voice was faint and far away. “Y/N, please look at me?”
You hardly heard the words that left his lips. You were too busy processing his greater sin.
The declaration came out as hardly a whisper. 
“It was you.”
Kol blinked. Then he frowned. 
“Darling… what are you talking about?”
You shook your head. Tears streamed down your face.
“Why?” You seethed. “Why would you do it?!”
He took a step back, seeming hurt. “Sweetheart… I’m sorry but you’re not making any sense.”
You weren’t going to play that game. Wordlessly, you hopped off the counter and strode over to the kitchen doorway. Kol had dropped his backpack there. You tore it open and rummaged around until you found it. A little book covered in black Sharpie. 
“How many high school students do you think know Nordic Runes?” You challenged softly.
“I dunno.” He shrugged. “Probably quite a few. I suspect it’s a relatively common niche interest.”
You hummed. “Let me rephrase then: How many high school students in Mystic Falls do you think are fluent enough in runic languages to correct it when they see a mistranslation?” You whipped around, displaying your oh-so-precious stolen sketchbook in your hands.
The color drained from Kol’s face.
“Darling… I can explain that,” He tried, voice raw - desperate for you to believe him. You wouldn’t. 
You offered him a smile. That same fake, hateful smile you offered to all the people in this town who lied to you. 
“Leave.”
Kol looked as though he’d been shot. 
“Y/N, please. Just let me explain.”
You shook your head. 
“I won’t say it twice,” You spat. Then, switching off your hearing aids, you turned away and started for the stairs. “You know where the door is,” You called over your shoulder, half growling the words. “Don’t let it hit you on the way out… bastard.”
Upstairs in your room, you locked the door and cried. This time you didn’t make a sound.
***
Kol had screwed up. Royally. 
In fact, he was convinced that this was even worse than that time he’d accidentally played god on the continent now known as Australia. (Mammals shouldn’t lay eggs and none would if not for his hubris and an escaped lab rat. Or in this case, a lab platypus.) However, this time, Kol couldn’t just run away. Of course, there was mother dearest’s spell to consider but, that wasn’t the only thing keeping him from leaving that girl and her stupid precious tears behind. For whatever reason, he couldn’t stand what he’d done. He knew this for a fact because he’d had all night to think about it.
Her face, sparkling with fresh tears, was an image burned into his memory. Kol couldn’t seem to forget the tremble in her voice as she’d pulled that bloody sketchbook out of his bag. He could still hear her crying on the other side of her bedroom door. No matter how long he’d begged her to let him in, that door had remained locked. 
This wasn’t how things were meant to go - not when he’d been so close. He couldn’t stand it. 
She’d almost been his. Kol had finally held his sweet little artist in his arms and nothing, nothing - no drug nor blood-induced high he’d ever experienced - could ever compare to finally getting to touch her. He could have had more. He could have won his prize - could have kept her forever.
But he’d screwed up. Now, she loathed him.
He could stand losing a game every now and again. That was what kept things fun. But this wasn’t a game anymore. It hadn’t been for a long time. He couldn’t lose. Kol refused to lose.
Luckily, his delicious little artist was very, very human. 
He would go to her one more time, he resolved, to try to explain things. Truthfully, he knew there was no excuse for what he’d done, but that couldn’t change the facts. Kol needed her. He wouldn’t give her up just because he’d been dumb enough to let her snatch that sketchbook from his satchel. It wasn’t her fault. Had their roles been reversed, he wouldn’t forgive himself either. But luckily, his steel-spined artist was human. Luckily, Kol could erase his little mistake. 
Perhaps he could grab a quick bite from her too before he wiped her memory. A little taste might aid his patience for her - he didn’t fancy slipping up again like he had the night before. If he hurt her without realizing what he was doing, Kol knew he would kill his little artist far too soon.
He’d made his decision. The only thing that gave him pause was the wrinkled sheet of paper Bekah found that morning. 
“Kol?” Her voice rang through their brother’s mansion carrying confusion and worry. “I think you might want to see this…”
He’d been at her side in a split second, snatching the paper from her hands. It was a drawing, and Kol recognized its style of it instantly. Her lines were intimately familiar to him now, even as harsh and erratic as they were in the sketch he held. 
His beloved artist had finally drawn him. 
The twisted image was startlingly and horrifically accurate. Something clenched in his chest at the sight. She’d drawn his countenance pale, his hair was a wild mess and his eyes were black, empty holes. A vicious snarl warped his lips, accompanying razor-sharp fangs that looked all too real. In the picture, he knelt in the driving rain, cradling a limp corpse. His lips were coated in thick, crimson blood. Enamored as he was with his nightmarish likeness, Kol’s eyes were drawn to the most lifeless part of the image. He would have recognized those paint-stained clothes anywhere.
Now, Kol had added little notes to the drawings he’d stolen from his sweet artist’s sketchbook. This time, she had included her own. 
The harsh, hate-filled words read: “Vampire - a creature that feeds off the misery of others.”
At the bottom of the page, his artist had left him one more note.
“I hope you’re satisfied.”
Rebekah, peering over his shoulder now, whistled lowly. 
“That’s not Nik’s work,” She noted.
“No.” His voice came out sharp, clipped. “No, its not.”
“So who’d you piss off this time?”
Kol shrugged and tucked the drawing in his pocket. “No one important,” He lied. 
Shortly after that, he arrived beneath the trusses of Wickery Bridge. He knew where that girl would be - knew his artist couldn’t leave a piece unfinished. If she noticed him coming from a far ways off, she gave no inclination. Kol, however, noticed quite a few things. The tremor in her hands as she moved a can of paint back and forth in front of her. A used sleeping bag laid out among the rocks. A banana peel displaying the only proof she’d eaten any sort of meager breakfast. He noticed. He always noticed. 
His feet crunched on the gravel as he approached but he doubted the girl heard it - more than likely she had her hearing aids powered off. He could see the appeal in it. After all, it got quite loud in his head sometimes. Turning off the sounds of the world might be nice, but such was not his curse. 
Kol wound his arms around her waist from behind and leaned down. Her skin was so smooth and perfect, it was hard to resist simply biting down and taking her all to himself, but instead of piercing her throat he opted to kiss her a few times, gently. He knew how she would react by now. Y/N wouldn’t fight or squirm, she wouldn’t even scream. 
She just relaxed. 
Fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. 
A spitfire when angered, she could be quite impressive; however, when confronted she would always resort to that last option.
He could scent her fresh tears as they slipped down her face, while in his arms her body shuddered, though not quite the way he would prefer. Only one word could seem to manifest through her pain. 
"Why?" She didn't say it out loud, just signed it. Kol held her tighter, shrugging.
"Because I'm an attention whore," He answered simply. It was the truth too. "And I don't know when to stop."
He would always need that artist more than she needed him. From the first moment he'd met her, that was how their story had gone.
If it was even possible, that girl melted further into his embrace. Her head rested against his collarbone and she sighed.
"So you think I'm crazy too, huh?" She smiled and it was a miserable thing.
"I never thought you were crazy, love," He admitted, pressing a kiss to her temple. "I just didn't care for a while at first."
"What changed?" She wondered, brows furrowing.
"You smiled at me."
The girl barked a laugh. "Oh, well that's nice." She rolled her eyes.
Kol pulled her closer to him, as though he could make her feel the emotions he couldn't explain. "Don't believe me?"
"Nope." And she never minced words.
"It does sound rather cliche, doesn't it?"
"Ya think?" She scoffed. Her chest still shook with sobs she tried to suppress. He twisted her body around to pull her into a proper hug. Again, she didn't resist. She'd completely given up. 
Kol didn't like this hopeless, hysterical version of the strong, dagger-sharp artist he'd come to adore. He'd seen this sort of apathy before and typically it bored him. In her, it only seemed to hurt. It impressed him to hold her close until she finally understood that he was bloody sorry!
"Can you ever forgive me?" Kol found himself asking. Funny, he couldn't seem to remember another time he'd wondered such a thing. 
Y/N snorted humorlessly. 
"Maybe in a million years," She replied sourly. "Or maybe when the nut-house straightens me out - whichever comes last."
Those words stung like poison. It had been so, so long since he'd made a mistake he couldn't fix with a snap of his fingers. Accountability was a nasty, uncomfortable thing. 
A voice in the back of his mind reminded Kol that he could always compel his pretty little artist. But… he'd rather hoped her affection for him might be real. He didn't want to ruin that just yet.
Kol groaned quietly and tucked his face into the crook of her neck, fixing his lips over that girl's pulse again. The effect was somewhat calming despite making his fangs ache like nothing else. 
"I care about you, darling," He mumbled into her skin. 
"And I trusted you."
He understood. That girl didn't trust anyone. Now he was just another reason why.
A police siren flared to life in the distance, drawing closer. The artist in his arms chuckled dryly.
"Sounds like my ride's here," She observed, void of all life or emotion. The wheels of a police cruiser pulled to a stop not far off. She'd be caught in the act and Kol happened to know the police force had been set on vervain. 
"I won't let them take you," He swore, tightening his grip on his little artist. A car door slammed shut. Footsteps began approaching.
"And what are you gonna-"
Kol picked her up and ran. Consequences be damned. That girl was his. 
He stopped on the pretentious front porch of his brother's mansion and allowed her to absorb her new surroundings. She trembled in his arms, eyes round as saucers as she glanced around.
Her eyes met his and she shook her head, taking a step back. "Kol?" Her voice was thick with dread. "What… just-"
"You're okay," He assured her in lieu of an answer. He spoke calmingly, but she wouldn’t allow him to step any nearer. "You're safe now."
"No." Her voice was bold and firm. She held out a hand, increasing the space between them. “Tha-that wasn’t right. We-we-we were, uh… We were there… a-and now we’re here. What happened? Tell me. Tell me what you did!”
“Relax darling, there’s nothing to be afraid of,” He lied. The boy smiled disarmingly, voice a honeyed guise - it had worked before, back before she’d trusted him. “It’s just me.”
“No… No, y-you’re not-” She bit her lip and retreated further, blinking rapidly. 
He took another step closer, shushing her disoriented protests. “You’re alright, love. It’s. Just. Me.”
“NO!” The girl cried out with a tone forged from steel, but Kol watched as her resolve warped and cracked. He could see it rise to the surface - that all-consuming fear in his delectable little artist that he so relished and despised. “No… Kol, stop. Please.” Her sweet melody of a voice came out as a hoarse whisper now. “Y-you were my friend, and… I-I still want you, I do. But you need to stop. You’re not supposed to be like everyone else. Stop lying.”
Kol sighed heavily. His artist had been betrayed, time and time again. He couldn’t be like the rest of this godforsaken town - not if he wanted her. Yet… If he told her the truth - if he revealed himself to be everything that terrified her so - how would she possibly stand his presence?
“Do you truly wish to know?” He asked, unable to meet her gorgeous, all-too-perceptive eyes.
"I have to,” She whispered, almost to herself. “I’m not crazy. I-I didn't just imagine that!"
“You’re right.” He nodded and offered her a slight, halfhearted smirk. "You see too much for your own good, sweet thing. But please remember, you asked to be shown this part."
Kol thought about her - about his gorgeous, perfect artist. He inhaled deeply, taking in her mouth-watering scent. He focused on her heartbeat - wet and strong - let it lull him. He pictured that adorable, appetizing blush that always spread across her cheeks when he touched her. Kol allowed himself to imagine just how sweet, how lush, how devastatingly succulent that girl would taste just beneath her soft, warm human skin.
Then, welcoming that corrupt temptation, surrendering to it, he opened his eyes. 
His little artist screamed.
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fantasyfantasygames · 2 months ago
Text
Post-Literate
Post-Literate, Pictogram Games, 2011
Post-Literate takes on one of my favorite genres, transhumanism. I think it's the only transhuman game in which your characters are all illiterate.
They're not idiots, reading just stopped being necessary. Artificial intelligence (like, real AI, not the limited kind that's impacting every industry like a bomb right now) is ubiquitous and powerful, and humans rely on it for basically everything. You want to know something, just ask the open air - there's probably an AI nearby who can reply. If icons and warning signs don't make things obvious, they clearly weren't designed well enough. People who can read in this society are like someone in the modern day living "off the grid".
It's not a post-scarcity world, though. No replicators, no unlimited resources, no free energy, just so much computing power no one can run out of it. Biotech, nanotech, and computation are all massively advanced, but each of them has limits: bio is big and powerful but slow, nano is quick and precise but small-scale, and computation can't affect the real world without the other two.
The game has two typical modes of play. The first is more exploratory - what do humans do in a world where machines can do everything? The second posits a group of rogue AIs who consider humanity a drain on the world's resources, as opposed to the vast majority who are programmed to preserve humanity. You get caught up in the rogues' plots, either as a pawn of one side or the other (AIs do find humans so very hard to read), or as an ally.
Mechanically, the game essentially runs on Fate with PbtA playbooks. I'm sure plenty of other folks have done it. Given the publication date, though, the current batch of Fate stuff wasn't out yet, so this is focused around the then-newly-released Strands of Fate implementation. Definitely crunchier than one would expect from a Fate game.
The game could use more examples - a lot of examples - for aspects, stunts, and so forth. For example, the game says "use this wealth system to represent your connections with other people", but then... that's it. I can figure it out, but I'm also the GM who's read over hundred games.
Much as I love the concept of the game, I think it just didn't lean hard enough into the feel of the game - which is a shame, because that's exactly what Fate games have to do. There should be systems for mind games against AI opponents, fast-talking people into giving you access to their systems, parkour chase scenes... and you can do that, because it's Strands of Fate and it'll handle it just fine, but it's not built for it. It's too generic.
Art, including the cover, is black-and-white line drawings in a very cyberpunk style. To their credit there are almost no robots (as an AI why would you bother with running a drone 99 days out of 100?), but the tech depicted seems a bit understated for what the game describes.
Pictogram Games made Post-Literate and another game about using symbols for magic. It had the most breakable and least handicapped-accessible magic system I've seen in a long time, so buckle in for that one when I get to it.
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lykaios2 · 1 year ago
Note
If you’re still taking requests, if not you can ignore this, but what if Y/N wanted to do an experiment with Mikey, what comfort food is better on rainy nights, and Donnie gets really jealous cus FEELINGS!
Y/N: I didn’t ask you Don cus you’re more into science stuff.
Please and thank you
oml this took so long and I am sorry
it was due to a multitude of reasons, one of them being I really couldn't figure out how to write my ideas
btw this might suck but I worked too long on it and it would be rude of me to leave this request on read
also I add these titles as if these aren't the most basic pieces of writing ever but anyway
This Feeling We Call Jealousy
rise donnie x reader
cw: nothing because I lack the ability to put emotions into my writing
word count: 2522
Looking at your phone, your weather app showed that it was going to rain. How unfortunate. You had made plans earlier that day to hang out with friends at the park, but now they had to be canceled. Your excitement turned to disappointment as you started to head home, not having anything to do for the rest of the evening. You held out your hand, only to feel a few raindrops. As the rain started to fall, you started to walk faster. When you finally got home, you flopped onto your bed and sighed. Eventually, you pulled out your phone, looking for something to do. Instagram, Youtube, TikTok…nothing seemed to catch your attention. Finally, you decided to text the turtles. If nothing else, you could at least talk to them for a little while to cure your boredom. But who? Texting all of them was a little too much, and it might be annoying for one of them if they just kept getting texts over and over again. You decided to text Mikey, because he was probably not doing anything either.
-yo, what’s up? you doing anything right now?
-Eh, not really, just a little bit of drawing. How about you?
-well, I had plans to go to the park with some friends earlier, but then it started to rain so we had to cancel
-Aw man, that sucks, I’m sorry. What are you doing now?
-nothing except moping on my bed because I’m bored
-Why don’t you come over to our place? There’s plenty to do over here
-that’s a great idea! I’ll be over in like 20 minutes
You got up from your bed and started to get ready again. It was quick, just grabbing all the stuff you had packed for your trip earlier plus a few things. As you were leaving, your phone buzzed in your pocket. You picked it up to see another text, this time from Donnie.
-Hey, I heard you were coming over. Is this true?
-yeah, why do you ask?
-Well, I was just thinking that if you are coming over, you should stop by my lab. We could hang out. If you want, you’re not required to.
-that sounds good! I don’t really have a plan for when I get there, so I’ll definitely stop by for a little bit
-I would enjoy it very much.
You left your house and started the walk over to the entrance to their lair. You had to walk quickly because it was still raining, but all the better, it meant you got there faster. Coming up to the alleyway, you struggled to open the manhole that led down to your destination. Slowly descending into the sewers, you started to make your way down the long and winding yet familiar hallways. Eventually, you saw the light, telling you that you were almost there.
“Hello?! I’m here!”
“Down here!”
You were greeted by Leo from the bottom area. Not who you expected, you figured it would have been Mikey or Donnie, but you headed down anyway to talk to him.
“Hey Leo, how are you?”
“Doing alright. What brings you here?”
“I had some plans with friends, but we had to cancel because of the rain so Mikey invited me over because otherwise I was going to spend my evening completely bored.”
“Well, that was quite kind of him. Did you have any plans with him?”
“Not really, but Donnie wanted to hang out with me in his lab, so I suppose I should head there.”
“Good luck with that, who knows what he could do.”
“Oh shut up, I bet I’ll have a great time with him.”
You started to walk to Donnie’s lab, as just as you were about to say hello, you heard another voice call out to you.
“y/n! Over here!”
Donnie looked up from his work, only now noticing that you had arrived.
“Oh y/n, come in-”
“Hi Mikey! How’s it going?”
“y/n?”
“Not bad, I’ve been waiting for you!”
Donnie walked to the door and looked around for you.
“So, now that I’m here, what do you want to do?”
“You know, I actually have a few new recipes I wanted to try…” Mikey said while Donnie was walking up behind you. “Oh, hi Donnie. What’cha doin?”
“Well, I hadn’t yet noticed that y/n had arrived, so I was coming out to greet them. What might you two be doing?”
“Well, me and Mikey were just about to head to the kitchen. I hadn’t realized you were here, so I kinda already made plans with Mikey.”
“What about our plans? I thought I asked you to come to my lab.”
“Oh, I kinda got distracted when I was talking with Mikey. And I would have invited you, but I figured you probably wouldn’t want to just eat food with us. You know, because you like science stuff more. But I promise when I’m done, I’ll come hang out with you.”
“O-oh, okay, I’ll be waiting then.”
You and Mikey headed to the kitchen. He had plenty of new recipes to show to you, and you had been assigned as his personal taste tester. While he was preparing his first meal, you sat in the kitchen, patiently waiting, sometimes looking over at him to check on his progress.
“You know, it’s too bad we can’t take advantage of this rain. It would make a nice atmosphere.”
“Hmm, that’s not a bad idea. Although, I’m not quite sure how it could work. If you wanted, we could just sit up on the rooftops after we’re done down here.”
“That sounds good to me. But I don’t want to keep Donnie waiting too long, I do feel a little bad for making him wait.”
“If you want to, you can go spend time with him, I don’t mind.”
“No, it’s okay, we’re already here, and plus I promised to spend time with him, and I’m not going to back on my word.”
“If it’s really okay with you.”
Mikey finished up his first dish, and you got to try it. It was quite delicious, just like almost everything he ever made. The second dish wasn’t as good, but it didn’t taste terrible. You ate a few more before you couldn’t eat anything else.
“Man, I’m full. Those were pretty good, Mikey.”
“Thank you, y/n. You know, if we go fast enough, we might be able to catch the sunset from the rooftops. And anyway, a little walk might help with digesting all that food.”
You followed Mikey as he showed you the way all the way from the sewers to the tops of the buildings. You were able to find one that had a good view of the sunset. You sat down, letting your body take a well deserved rest.
“Ah man, I’m beat. The sunset is amazing, though.”
“I know, right? This is my favorite place to watch it.”
“And with the rain, too…”
As you watched the rain fall and the sun go down, you and Mikey sat in silence. That was, until a notification came from your phone. It was Donnie who had texted.
-I hate to be a bother, but I was just wondering if you two are done yet?
-oh, you’re fine. yeah, I can be down there in a second
“Who was it?”
“It was just Donnie. I told him I’d be heading down to his lab.”
“Ah, okay. Well, you two have fun, I’m gonna stay here for a bit. You know the way back?”
You nodded as you started to head back to the lair.
Retracing your footsteps, you made your way back to the lair, and into Donnie’s lab.
“Hi y/n. How was your time with Mikey?”
“Oh, it was fun! Mikey made me so much delicious food, and then we went and watched the sunset. It was really nice.”
“Oh, yeah, totally. Must have been fun.”
“What were you doing while I was gone?”
“Uhm, you know, that’s not important…”
Donnie turned slightly away from you. He didn’t want to share what had actually happened.
After you left with Mikey, Donnie went back to his lab, a bit disappointed. He had wanted to spend time with you, but now you were just off with his brother. It was okay, though, because you had promised to come back and spend time with him, right? You wouldn’t break a promise to him. That’s why he loved you so much. You were so trusting, and he felt he could be so open around you. It was something he struggled with, but around you it just all went away. So when he saw that you had chosen to go with Mikey instead of him, he couldn’t help but feel a bit pained. He didn’t have anything to do now, so he just laid on his bed in silence. What could he do now? He had planned out an entire evening with you, but now it was all messed up. He didn’t know what to do now, except wait for you to come back. You were all he could think about.
“Hey, where’s y/n?”
Raph’s question startled Donnie. He wasn’t expecting to be bothered.
“Oh, they’re hanging out with Mikey.”
“But I thought you had plans with them?”
“Well…I did. Then Mikey got to them before I did. And now they’re somewhere with Mikey.”
“And you wanted to hang out with them?”
“Yeah…”
“I see. Did you have anything you wanted to do with them?”
“Well, I had something I was gonna give to them. But other than that, I just kinda wanted to spend time with them.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, idk…I like how they make me feel.”
Raph came in and sat on the bed, next to Donnie.
“How do they make you feel?”
“I don’t know how to explain it, but it almost feels like…I can be myself around them, and they don’t care. They’re…yeah.”
“Sounds to me like you have a little crush~”
“No I don’t. That’s absurd. You’re crazy.”
“Are you sure? This is a judgment free zone, you can tell me anything.”
“…”
“So?”
“Maybe…”
“I’m gonna take that as a yes. You know, I think it’s cute that you have a crush on them.”
“I guess, but…it’s weird. I want them to be happy, whether they like me or not, but whenever I see them having a good time with someone else, I can’t help but feel a bit angry.”
“Hm, I think I understand. You’re probably feeling a little jealous, no? But I think it's just your feelings expressing themselves.”
“I don’t know, I’m not good with feelings, even my own.”
“Well, I think you could solve all of this by just telling them how you feel. Get all of your feelings out, and things will work themselves out from there. All your pent up feelings are starting to cause problems.”
“What? No, I could never. They probably wouldn’t like me back anyway.”
“You never know until you try. Come on, it can’t be that bad.”
“Raph, I don’t want to right now…”
“I could help you if you want-”
“I said NO, Raph! I don’t want to! Leave me alone!”
Raph was taken aback, only now realizing what he had done.
“You’re right, I’m sorry. I’ll leave you alone for now, you can do what you want. I’m not going to force you.”
At this point, Donnie was so overwhelmed that he simply began to cry. The emotions had become too much to handle, and letting himself cry was the only way he could calm down. Thankfully for him, no one bothered him before he was able to compose himself, and return to waiting.
“Was it really that boring that you don’t want to tell me?”
“Well, I don’t know if you’d really want to hear about it.”
“I mean, whatever. If you don’t want to tell me, you don’t have to. I’m not going to make you.”
“Thanks. Uhm, I did have something I wanted to show you though…”
Donnie pulled out one of his new inventions. That was how it usually went whenever you two were together, he showed off his cool inventions and you admired them. This time, though, he had one to give you. It was a small device, and you weren’t quite sure what to do with it.
“Push in the little button on the bottom.”
You did as he instructed, and the device popped open to reveal what looked like a flower.
“It’s a little lily. I know they’re your favorite flower, so I, uh…made one for you. It's not alive, but that just means it will last for a long time. I even put in a scent emitter, so it smells like a lily, too. And it’s small enough to put in your pocket. Do you like it?”
You smiled.
“I love it, it’s so small and adorable. I almost can’t even tell it’s fake. I appreciate it, Donnie.”
Donnie smiled back. As you continued to admire the little machine, though, Donnie’s thoughts drifted elsewhere. Back to what had happened with Raph. He didn’t want to think about it, but this often happened when he had nothing else to do. As the thoughts flooded his head, his expression slowly turned from happiness to that of melancholy. as you turned back to thank him again for his gift, you noticed the solemn look on his face.
“Hey, what’s the matter? You okay?”
“Hm?”
“You look like something’s wrong. Is there something on your mind?”
Donnie knew the answer was yes. He wanted to be honest with you, to tell you what he was truly feeling in this moment, but he didn’t know if he could. But you had been honest with him as long as you had known him. It would be wrong of him to not return the favor.
“Well, yes, there is.”
“Do you wanna share?”
“As much as I want to say no, I would feel bad for keeping you in the dark about this any longer.”
“…about what?”
“y/n, I…I like you. And before you say anything, let me finish. I just…y/n, you’ve always made me feel happy. I’m not going to deny that fact. You’re so kind to me, I always feel that I can truly be myself around you. It’s nice, I enjoy that feeling. And so, that’s why…I have a crush on you.”
He had his legs up on his chair now, curled up in a ball, and he was avoiding eye contact. You walked over next to him.
“Donnie…that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. Do you mind…if I give you a hug?”
Donnie shook his head.
“Thank you. You know, I’ve always enjoyed our time together, I hope you know that. You’re a good friend to me, and I care about you. So, if you want to…date me…then I wouldn't be opposed.”
Donnie looked up at you now.
“You really wouldn’t?”
“I really wouldn’t.”
Donnie hugged you so fast you were startled. He was happy now.
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kimbap-r0ll · 1 year ago
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Match-Up Commission for @unfinished-projects-galore!
Hi, thank you for the matchup request! Just a reminder, matchups are commissions on my blog!
Hm, out of the characters I feel like a lot of people could be good matches, but here’s the two I chose for you...
HxH — Feitan
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Surprisingly, he’s quite an artsy guy (he was actually reading an artbook in one of the Yorknew scenes). While yes they usually come in brutal or unconventional forms, he does have an appreciation for them, perhaps that’s one reason why he got so close to Chrollo too. Either way, if you happen to be into painting or drawing, he’ll likely be drawn to you from the start. He isn’t much of a reader but he likes artworks a lot, the weirder or darker they are the better for him. But if you like to make wholesome illustrations he does have a soft spot for them too, so really the limit is the sky haha. He won’t be able to outright say that he likes your work since he’s so emotionally constipated, but he will definitely be watching you do your work from afar. He probably doesn’t really care too much about your schoolwork since he isn’t really into academics, so whether or not you study for exams isn’t his business.
Speaking of which, he probably looks for people who are independent or are able to be by themselves for long periods of time. He can’t stand people who depend on others for too many things, almost like they’re not able to function without the other. Because of this, he likes that while you do give him some time you also let him do his own stuff. If you aren’t part of the troupe, this will be even more important because he a) doesn’t want you to get hurt if you follow the troupe around and b) he knows he can’t always be there for you because of troupe operations. He’ll check up on you from time to time because while he hates admitting it, he does like hearing your voice. Expect random calls from him at like 2am or 6pm, it really doesn’t matter when he’ll just pick up his phone and call you haha.
Another thing you two share is liking to be in smaller groups or by yourselves. He feels safe around the troupe even though they’re a big group because he’s known them forever, but if he’s supposed to survive in a room with more than four people he doesn’t know, he’d rather kill them. He values the strong, intimate connections people make when in smaller or 1-to-1 relationships, so you two won’t have a problem there. He likes spending time with you without a lot of people around since it helps him feel like there’s some privacy in the relationship. He doesn’t like knowing others are peering into his private life that much.
Speaking of privacy, he will want to keep things like PDA to a minimum. He loves you yes but he also doesn’t want people snooping into his private life. Because of that, the most PDA he will do outside is pull you closer to him if he thinks you were about to get hurt but that’s it. Hand-holding? Maybe if you’re lucky and only the troupe’s around, but no hugging and definitely no kissing is to be done when others are able to see you two. He’s surprisingly soft when it comes to physical affection, maybe he’s scared to break one of your bones. He also values time spent with you. He doesn’t see himself as a good gift-giver because he tends to think gifts = practical things one might need, so you might not get a fancy dress or new shoes for example. However, he does think that spending time with you is important, so he’ll go out of his way to make as much time available as he can with his busy schedule. If Phinks starts asking him where he goes half of the time Feitan will give him a quick glare but not say anything (he might be blushing slightly).
TWST — Vil
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Look, it’s Pomefiore! This bold dorm leader likes you because you two share similar hobbies but also because it’s sort of like an opposites attract moment. He has no issues being in the spotlight, having to converse with fifty new people at once, etc. But at the same time, he wants someone who will give him a bit of calm in his already chaotic life, which is why he values people that might want smaller groups of friends, more intimate relationships, things like that. He sees you as an escape from more or less the harsher world because he can be himself around you without putting on the perfect persona, and because you are chill he’s able to chill out too haha.
I think you two would have all-nighters talking about your favorite books or favorite artworks. He’s a big reader, he just doesn’t have all the time in the world to pick up as many stories as he would want to. Because of this, if you happen to have books you liked that he hasn’t read yet, I think he would appreciate it if you just talked to him about those stories, even stories you want to rant about he would love listening to you. He also is a big film critic, so if you have any films you want to watch, it might be fun seeing it with him. He points out different aspects of the film that you might not have thought about before, but he also likes to just appreciate the movies silently. It might be a good idea to do the classic movie date with him!
Something that might scare people away from Vil would be his cold exterior or his extremely rigid criteria for what is “beautiful.” However, I highly doubt he would actually judge people for looking differently from him or from the conventional beauty standards. If you wear things or style yourself in ways that make you comfortable and in ways that you like, I think that would be good in his eyes. He probably sees beauty as more of a “can you be confident in what you like” or “do you appreciate yourself” more than just “does it look aesthetic.” He will make you do skincare with him if he thinks you would be interested and he might enjoy doing your hair from time to time (he likes experimenting with styles bear with him lol), but in the end he thinks what you do with your fashion is what he’ll support. Now if he thinks what you wore that day was horrendous, he won’t cut corners, but that literally never happens since the only person he thinks has bad fashion is RSA HAHA! I think he would actually like your hairstyle, mainly because it’s so bold in his opinion.
He definitely has no issues with PDA unless fans or snooping news reporters are around. He loves holding your hand, playing with your hair, just sitting next to you. He might honestly be touch-starved because he had to grow up so quickly and be independent for most of his life, so I imagine any form of soft affection would make him flustered. He’s emotionally constipated, so he won’t know how to express he wants you to hug him, expect him to just give you a long stare as if you are able to read his mind. He likes giving affection through quality time the most though, mainly because he never had a lot of connections in his past and values getting to know someone.
Speaking of which, similar to Feitan I think he would want someone who can be independent. He’s extremely busy, which means he doesn’t have all the time in the world to take care of you. He tries to make as much time for you as he can, but in the end he still ends up with way more tasks than he asked for. If you’re able to take care of yourself when he’s not around, he’ll definitely appreciate it and find a way to make up for lost time. He loves you for who you are, and would honestly love every minute he gets to spend with you.
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loving-b3ar · 24 days ago
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Someone anyone help me
I've been wondering if I'm on the aroace spec for a little while now but everytime I think I figure it out something about that sexuality doesn't fit how I feel and I have to start over again.
Ive known I was asexual or probably one the ace spec for a while, I would never have expected I would come to think I might be on the aromantic spec or both.
This whole fiasco started when I realized a lot of the characters I kin/find relatable generally have no feelings for explicit- ness or romance, or are confirmed aroace/majority hc aroace.
I started to think, starting with the ace half because it's simple, I don't have any desire to have sexual intercourse or anything like that with another person. Masturbation, reading NSFW, or thinking or imagining that with a fictional character is common for me, but if it were a real person or a fictional character were to come to life and try that, I'd immediately get the ick. I find it weird though because I'm very blunt with my sexual thoughts and make sexual jokes to friends a lot but can't even begin if I were put into a situation on able to do explicit stuff with another person IRL
Aromantic on another hand is different and much more complex. A lot of my crushes (or thought to be crushes) recently seemed to actually just be jealousy, gender envy and wanting to fit in. But I can't handle the thought of being
alone. I love romance and romantic
gestures (even though most of the time I get really tensed up with gifts, compliments and touches and usually hope that the gestures are quick so we can get past it, but kisses seem to be the only gesture I don't freeze up on, aslong as they're quick peck on the lips, no more- and some compliments are nice and make me happy, but not all.) but I realize now I never really had a desire for a relationship, I still fall for people but the crushes usually pass by quickly and I don't usually wanna pursue a relationship with someone. I thought about how I felt romantically for fictional characters and agreed they were romantically attractive, and liking them didn't make me feel weird. I'd constantly make ocs, self insert, even use a digital/drawing version of myself to ship with the characters, I eventually found out about fictiosexuality, and thought I'd be ficto aroace, until I saw somewhere how if a fictional character were to come to life, an aromantic wouldn't like them like that anymore, and I didn't feel that way, for me, I felt if a fictional character I liked were to come to life, I'd try to pursue a relationship with them, but if it's an irl person, I wouldn't, but I don't get or understand why, that fictional character coming to life, would mean they are real.
So why can't I have a desire to pursue a relationship with real people if I could with fictional character coming to life.
All I know is that I don't have any sexual desires to pursue with someone (unless it's sexual fantasies or it's singular) and I don't wanna pursue a romantic relationship (unless it were to be with a fictional character)
I dont really wanna have a talk more about how I feel and why but I'd appreciate if someone could suggest a few labels/flags for me to research!!
Sorry if some of it doesn’t make sense, it was pasted from notes. And sorry if this isn’t the place to ask, I also posted this on reddit!!
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