#i also want to do a himbo run but not for any reason just because so where does that come into play??? anyway PLEASE ADVISE

[oldbutchdaniel]

now that ive finished my first hardcore playthrough i feel like i cant rest until im wearing the fuck the world and pissfaggot jackets with my best friend kim. but that involves all the work it takes to get the pissfaggot jacket. also almost got taken onto the moralintern ship the last time but i was doing an intellect playthrough and could not for the life of me pass the empathy check. also if i give the pissfaggot jacket to kim i want him to be wearing it through the mercenary tribunal so i can ask him why he took it off after. if i get him the pissfaggot jacket will he wear it onto the moralintern ship? i also want to play through the moralist ending Not on hardcore mode so the check is easier. which basically means i've got two more playthroughs ahead of me i want to do like immediately. can someone set me free from this prison of love and adoration for video game

[wlntrsldler]

crush | sam obisanya

based on crush by tessa violet

description: you started getting origami hearts from a secret admirer. you secretly hoped it was a certain richmond player.

warnings: language-- it's ted lasso, what did ya expect?; kissing! a looootttt of smiling from sam, richmond himbos, sam and jamie bffs

pairing: sam obisanya x f! reader (she/her)

word count: 2.8K

ted lasso requests are open! | main masterlist

It started on a random Tuesday. 

You walked into the coaches’ office where your temporary desk was located– Beard nearly begged you to take Trent’s old desk because the office without Ted or Trent just felt too empty– and you saw it sitting on top of your work laptop. 

It was a red, origami heart. 

You looked around, puzzled, trying to figure out who left it, or at the very least, if everyone else had one on their desks too. You tried to catch someone’s eye, perhaps they’d reveal who left it on your desk, but all the coaches were in the locker room talking strategy with the entire team. 

Maybe the coaches did get one and they just put it away before you got here. After all, you got to work an hour after everyone else did. You picked up the heart and turned it over to find something scribbled on the back. 

“If I were loved, as I desire to be” - Lord Alfred Tennyson

You furrowed your eyebrows, holding the origami heart gently as you ransacked your small bookshelf beside your desk. Your fingers traced the spines of the books you had laying around, stopping on your copy of Tennyson’s Poetical Works. A bookmark was peeking from the top of the book and you knew exactly what poem it was. 

The small smile on your lips threatened to get bigger as you read the poem over and over again. You were sure you read the poem about fifty times before you shut the book. By the time you got yourself situated, and placed the origami heart with the rest of the trinkets on your desk, it was time to join the coaches in the locker room. 

As you walked in, your eyes met Sam’s. He offered a small wave which you returned happily. Sam was the first friend you made at Nelson Road. When you were hired by KJPR to manage Richmond’s social media and newsletters, your time was split between the KJPR HQ and the facility. It wasn’t because Keeley needed you at KJPR, but more so because you were too nervous to work at a football club every day. 

Turns out, there was no reason to be nervous. About two weeks into your job, you found yourself itching to work onsite at Nelson Road. You loved the community they built there, their camaraderie, and their mutual trust, respect, and love for each other were more than admirable.

And sure, it also helped that Sam Obisanya was here, but that was neither here nor there. 

When Keeley and Rebecca first found out about your crush on Sam, which they had to force out of you– in your defense, you knew about Rebecca and Sam’s history and you didn’t want to step on any toes– they lost it. Rebecca, of course, reassured you that it was alright with her, especially since she was with her Dutchman now. The two women would make googly eyes at you whenever they saw you talking to Sam. 

“Y/N! Why else would he come into your office so often? He fancies you!” 

“He’s just borrowing a book, Keels,” you frowned, “Jan Maas and Bumbercatch do the same thing.” 

Rebecca rolled her eyes, “But they don’t do it as often.” 

You shrugged, “Maybe Sam just reads fast.” 

“Hopeless.” The two women said in sync, laughing as you threw a pen in their direction. 

Stuck in your little daydream, it was Roy’s booming voice that snapped you out of your thoughts. You blinked a few times, surprised to find Sam’s eyes still on yours. You blushed under his intense stare and decided to be the one to break the connection. You walked out behind Nate, pretending to scribble on your notepad. 

“Y/N!” Colin called, running to catch up with you. He threw an arm around you, “How’s my favorite social media and branding manager?” 

You eyed him wearily but played along. You’d need a few more seconds to figure out what he wants, “I’m alright. How about you, Hughes?” 

“I’m doing fine, as well. Say, did you do something new to your hair? It looks absolutely lovel-”

“Give it up, mate,” Sam chimed in, removing Colin’s arm from around you, “She is not taking down your promo pictures from the grid.” 

You feigned a look of hurt, “And here I thought you were just being kind to me!”

Colin let out a long groan, sounding like a toddler throwing a tantrum, “The pictures aren’t flattering, Y/N! I look hideous.” 

You shook your head, leaning up to squish Colin’s cheeks together, “Impossible. You’re proper fit. All of you are.” 

While your (failed attempt) pep talk didn’t lift Colin’s spirits– he then went to Isaac and complained even more as he was stretching– Sam’s ears perked up at your words. Did you think he was fit? No, no, you couldn’t have. You were just saying it to make a point to Colin, right? You said the whole team was fit, not just him. 

You waved goodbye to Sam, smiling at him once again, and he swears he felt his knees buckle from under him. How he managed to make it the rest of the way to the pitch and how he managed to remember how to play football after that was truly beyond him.

“Lord help me,” Sam muttered, leaning down to touch his toes. 

“Yeah, lad,” Jamie grimaced next to him, though his tone was teasing. He watched the entire situation unfold. He knew about Sam’s pining and has been on the receiving end of many of Sam’s “Y/N is so lovely. Y/N is so smart. Isn’t she great?” ramblings. “You need some divine intervention because you’re pathetic.” 

Sam just shoved Jamie, but he knew he was right. He was a goner. 

You figured that the origami heart was a one-time thing, but to your surprise, you found another one on your desk the following day. This time it was blue. Excited to find out what lies behind the paper, you picked it up hurriedly, already smiling ear to ear before you even read it. 

“In case you ever foolishly forget: I am never not thinking of you.” - Virginia Woolf

“What do you have there?” 

“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph,” You jumped at the sound of Keeley’s voice. She was leaning against the doorframe, smirking at your caught reaction. You held the heart between your pointer finger and thumb. You walked over to her, “This is the second one I’ve gotten.” 

Keeley’s eyes widened as she read the words on the back. She squealed, rushing to you to shake you by your shoulders, “Babe, you’ve got a secret admirer! Oh my gosh, this is so cute!” 

Keeley, bless her, was never one to be discreet when it came to all things romantic. Everyone in the locker room turned to look at you and Keeley in the coaches’ office, most with a confused expression on their face. You awkwardly waved before reaching over to pull Keeley into the covered part of the office. Sure, it wasn’t soundproof, but at least they didn’t get to see your embarrassment. 

“Hush,” you tutted, taking the heart back from her. You placed it beside the red one, smiling at how it made your desk look more colorful. “I do not have a secret admirer. Whoever is doing this obviously just has an affinity for good literature and wants to share it with me since I’m a reader.” 

“Right well I have an affinity for good champagne, but you don’t see me popping bottles with you every chance I get,” Keeley rolled her eyes, sitting on your desk. She picked up the origami heart from yesterday, groaning in disbelief, “Seriously, Y/N! How much more obvious can they get? They literally confessed their love for you in this one!” 

“I do not have a secret admirer.” 

“Who has a secret admirer?” 

You, once again, jumped at the sound of Rebecca’s voice. Her eyebrows were raised as she walked into your office, munching on some cookies. They weren’t better than Ted’s but she’d gotten used to having cookies for breakfast that she had to make do. 

“Y/N has a secret admirer, look!” Keeley ran to Rebecca, holding the two origami hearts in her hand. “Look at how cute these are.” 

Rebecca studied them closely, a large smirk on her face when she locked eyes with you, “This is Sam.” 

You blushed at the mention of his name, “It is not Sam because I don’t have a secret admirer. Now if you excuse me, I have work to do.” 

You tried your best to steady yourself as you walked out to the locker room. The coaches had finished their talk and the team was just doing some final things before they headed out to the pitch for training. 

Sam walked over to you, head tilted in question. “What was that about?” 

“Nothing,” you shook your head. “Keeley and Rebecca are just being silly.” 

He nodded, “Hey, I’m almost finished with the most recent book you loaned me.” 

“Are you?” You grinned at him. He mirrored you. “I love that book.” 

“I know,” Sam’s eyes drifted briefly to your lips. Oh, what he would give to feel your lips on his, even just for a second. He couldn’t help but keep staring at you as you went on about your favorite parts. Sam could picture the hundreds of outlined quotes you had in the copy he borrowed, different colored sticky notes and highlighters for different things. He noticed that as you spoke you stayed within the confines of the first part of the book. Sam realized later that it was because you didn’t want to risk spoiling anything for him. His heart warmed at the thought. 

By the time you finished recounting the book, you were red and out of breath. You placed a hand on Sam’s bicep, not missing the way he tensed under your palm. You could feel the outline of his hard muscles under his kit, which made you suck in a breath. “I’ll see you around, Sam. Come find me when you finish the book and I’ll let you talk my ear off about it. Only fair since I just did it to you.” 

He chuckled, watching you disappear into the hallway where Higgins' office was, the opposite way of the pitch where he was headed. His eyes followed your figure until you fully disappeared, which meant that he was not paying attention to where he was going. Right before his body crashed into a pole, Jamie grabbed Sam’s arm and pulled him toward the walkway. Sam, who seemed to awaken from his trance, shyly looked at Jamie. 

Jamie chuckled quietly at Sam. He whipped Sam playfully with a rolled-up towel. He jogged lightly and called out to him with his Mancunian accent, “Come on, lover boy. We got trainin’ to do.” 

After the fifth day of receiving origami hearts, you decided to take it upon yourself to investigate. Without telling anyone of your plans, not even Keeley or Rebecca who were still convinced it was Sam, you arrived at Nelson Road ten minutes after the call time for the team and coaches. 

You entered from the back of the facility, knowing that you had closed your blinds before you left work yesterday. If there was someone in your office, they wouldn’t see you coming in. As you approached the coaches’ office, the outline of someone leaning across your desk caught your eye. 

Bingo. 

Your heart swelled when you realized who it was. You cleared your throat, “Sam?” 

Sam turned around quickly, staring at you like a deer in headlights. He rubbed the back of his neck, “Oh hey, Y/N! You’re here early.” 

“Yeah, I have a few things to get done today,” you lied, walking over to your desk. “What are you doing here?” 

“Oh, right, um,” he held out the book you let him borrow from behind him, “Just wanted to return this. I was just gonna leave it on your desk, but since you’re already here, here you go.” 

“Oh,” you tried to mask your disappointment as you reached over to grab the book from him. Your fingers grazed his, sending shocks throughout your entire body. You looked down on your desk and found an origami heart on your laptop once more. This time it looked like a different type of paper. It was lightly colored and patterned instead of the usual solid color.  You looked at Sam, “Did you see who left this here?” 

Sam, who was already halfway out the door, shrugged, reaching up to rub the back of his neck again, “Nope. It was there when I got here.” 

Sure, you always denied that the secret admirer was Sam whenever Keeley and Rebecca teased you for it, but you would be a liar if you said you didn’t also secretly hope that it was him. You really liked Sam. Ever since you started working for AFC Richmond, Sam has shown you nothing but kindness. He asks you how you’re doing, and genuinely cares about your response. He pops in every week or so to borrow a book from your personal library. Then, he sits in your office after training when he finishes a book to talk about it with you. That was your favorite part of your job. 

The entire day, you felt dejected and defeated. You’re never going to figure out who was leaving you these little hearts. You didn’t join the team on the pitch or leave your office. At the end of the day, you found yourself staring at a blank Word document. A knock on your wall pulled you from your thoughts. You looked up and found Sam, standing in your doorway with two bags of takeaway in his hands. 

“Ready to talk Normal People?” Sam asked, walking in to take his usual spot across your desk. “I brought yummy food.” 

“Ola’s?”

He nodded, unwrapping the boxes of food to lay out on your desk. “Of course.” 

“Yes!” You cheered, reaching for your hand sanitizer. You offered some to Sam, which he gladly accepted. You pumped some into the palm of his hand and watched in concern as he hissed in pain when he rubbed it into his skin. “You okay?” 

He shook his hands to air dry them, a grimace still on his features. “Yeah, just forgot that I had paper cuts.” 

The admission almost flew over your head. Almost. It wasn’t until Sam muttered the word “Shit,” under his breath did you realize what he said. Sam rarely ever cussed, and when he did, it was because of something big. When you looked at him, he was staring at you with a nervous look on his face. 

“Sam…” you trailed off. 

Sam, taking your tone as a rejection, balled up his fist and bit his knuckles in anticipation. When you couldn’t find the right words, Sam interjected, “Okay, Y/N, before you get mad, hear me out please.”

You continued to stare at him in disbelief, unable to accept that it was him. He pushed his chair back, giving himself more space as he began his explanation. “Alright, so… Yes, it’s me. I have been leaving these little hearts on your desk. I’m sorry I lied to you this morning, but I panicked! I didn’t know you were coming in early. Also, I promise that I was going to tell you eventually. I was just nervous because I don’t want to ruin what we have now.” 

“I like being friends with you,” he started to say, then cringed at his own words, “Okay, let me rephrase that–  I enjoy being your friend, but I do want something more. I really like you, Y/N. I have never really been good at expressing my romantic feelings to people so I figured the greats could do it for me so I started making these little origami hearts with my favorite works and quotes on the back. I was getting quite good at it until I switched the paper I was using. Thus, the paper cuts.” 

“Sam, I-”

“Also, I just want to add, you are absolutely under no obligation to go out with me or anything like that. Unless, of course, you want to. Then, that would be great! I would love to go out with you.” He looked at you, like truly looked at you, for the first time since he began his little ramble. He groaned,  “Christ, you didn’t even ask. Wait– I didn’t even ask you to go out yet.” 

“Sam, please,” You laughed, getting up from your chair to stand in front of him. “I was hoping it was you who was leaving these origami hearts.” 

“Really?” he asked, breathless. His cheeks hurt from smiling so much. “You are not disappointed that it was me?” 

You backed off a bit as he stood from his seat, walking over to you. You shook your head no, “I was absolutely devastated when you said it wasn’t you who put it on my desk this morning.” 

Before you could say anything else, Sam placed his lips on yours. His hands found the side of your face, holding you at an angle that made it easier for your lips to glide against each other. Your hands lay flat against his chest, feeling the rumbling of his heart easily. As you slipped your tongue into his mouth, a deep groan escaped him, which fueled your actions. After a few moments, you pulled away from him but kept him close. 

Your arms were wrapped around his neck as you looked up at him. “So what do you think? The paper cuts worth it?” 

“Oh, 100%,” Sam easily replied, laughing as he squeezed your hips. He leaned down once again, unable to keep his lips away from yours any longer. 

Needless to say, you didn’t get to talk about Normal People, but neither of you cared.

[obeyme-and-myfics]

Hi!! May I request a continuation of short!MC with the side characters? I love your writing! 💖💖💖

Yes, of course! I took a little break from posting on the internet so that's why it took so long for me to respond. Also thank you! I try to write as well as I can. (●'◡'●) Some side characters are gonna be missing from this cuz I'm not quite comfortable writing for them yet.

I haven't met Raphael, Mephistopheles or Thirteen(I am planning on making their own parts when I do tho!) in anything other than events. So I'd like to apologize in advance because if I remember correctly one of your favs is Mephisto o(TヘTo) (I hope this doesn't sound weird since we've only met briefly on the discord server /gen)

Anyway onto the actual prompt (￣y▽￣)╭

Part 1| Part 2(here)

Prompt: How Obey Me Characters react to a short MC/Y/N

Characters: Diavolo, Barbatos, Simeon, Solomon, Luke(/p)

Headcanon List

CW/TWs: Teasing for your height,

Diavolo

I don't think he'd have much of a reaction seeing as most people/demons are a lot shorter than him

This man is easily 7ft I don't think he gives a fuck, everyone is puny to him

He'd definitely say something by accident, something he doesn't think would bother you

He's a himbo and oblivious to this shit

He'd probably say some shit like

"You're quite small for a human" or something like that

Crouches/Bends down to talk to you sometimes

Only when he really feels like it

I swear he's not trying to be rude

He'll pick you up only if you ask

For any reason too, he adores his small human

He respects you and doesn't want to help you like that unless you want him to

If he sees you struggling to grab something he'll get it for you

Gently reminds you that he can help you and you don't need to struggle with these things while he's there

Worries about other demons taking advantage of your small stature and hurting you

So he checks in on your wellbeing more often than he would if you were taller

If he knows you're around, he's making sure he doesn't accidentally run over you

I'm so sorry! to be fair he's probably gotta do that with bitches 5'7 and below

He'd probably enjoy holding/hugging you too

Like you ask for cuddles this man is cradling you in his arm

Maybe even rocking your ass to sleep

Barbatos

Man has nothing to say about your height

Like he couldn't care less about it and has the foresight to not say shit if you're a little insecure

Not that he would even if you weren't

If he sees you struggling to get something off a higher place, he's helping even if you don't ask/don't want him to

That's just kinda how he is

If you request he stop that he will but you need to communicate your wants and needs

If he sees you getting bullied(/lh) for your height and you look distressed he'll give to culprit a bit of a scolding

Depending on how bad it/Who it was it'll be harsher

Of course he'd like for you to defend yourself at least a little bit

When you do he can't help but smile a little to himself.

He likes to serve the ones he cares for so if any difficulties arise due to your height he'd be happy to attend to them

That is to say its only if you ask/he has the time to

He is still the butler of the future ruler of the Devildom after all

Barbatos also wouldn't treat you any different than how he would treat some one of average height or taller

Solomon

He makes the occasional comment about your height to your face

Giggles about it in private on occasion LIKE A BITCH

It's only occasionally that he does this tho

Overall its not that big of a deal to him

He's been alive long enough that he doesn't really care

Will absolutely help you with things your height hinders you from doing

If you're being bullied about your height he'll give you a chance to defend yourself before jumping to your defense

Will pick you up and carry you sometimes just for shits and giggles

Other times he picks you up and carries you away to hang out or aid him in another one of his magical endeavors.

and now we have Nightbringer /j

He's not doing anything to talk to you on your level Slay, king Solomon. Slay

He thinks its mildly entertaining to watch you struggle to grab something off the top shelf/anything out of your reach

He's a bit more careful with you than he normally would be with others

Has offhandedly suggested making something to make you taller if you'd like it

you gonna whoop his ass or should I?

He enjoys watching you stand up for yourself despite your height

It can be intimidating when people who are much taller than you pick on you and he understands that

or maybe you're not intimidated in the slightest and just wanted to unleash a can of whoop ass on some assholes who've been picking on you Period. Slay honestly.

He understands that too, and enjoys watching it go down

He finds it satisfying

Simeon

Won't comment on it most of the time but he does think its really cute

Only makes a comment when he's asking if you need help getting something higher up than you can reach

and its normally something like

"Oh! MC did you need help? It looks like you can't quite reach that."

A bit more careful with you than he would be normally

Though he's gentle by nature most of the time Sadistic Simeon has me in a chokehold fr fr

He won't get down to your level or do anything to demean you

not intentionally anyway

He doesn't say anything about your height for the most part but he will slip up every once in a while

It's nothing bad he just lets it slip he thinks your height is cute

He encourages you to stand up for yourself but has no problem sticking up for you or stealing you away if you're being bullied too much.

Happy to help with anything your height makes difficult when you ask

Other than that he doesn't treat you any differently due to your height

Luke

He's just happy he's not the only short one here.

If you're shorter than him he doesn't comment on it but he is excited to not be the shortest there.

He would make a few comments about it but you just gotta tell him to stop and he will

He doesn't want to make you upset with him

Sweet baby just wants to bond with you over the others making fun of your heights

Doesn't hesitate to yell at anyone making fun of your height and calling you names because of it

Makes sure you're okay afterwards

He's getting made fun of for this though

The brothers would take to calling him your guard dog

He barely gives you a chance to defend yourself but will back up if you defend yourself before he can

He borderline clings to you like a sloth

Comes to you every time he needs to vent about everyone bullying him for his own height

You're his favorite human now

If he's taller than you, he will do his best to help with things you can't reach.

He's happy to help out his friend

[bess3714]

If I were in charge of DC here's what I would do to the Batfam comics in no particular order:

Batman and Robin:

I would send Bruce and Damian on a sabbatical/road trip across America. They of course keep running into crimes wherever they go and solve them, leading a couple of FBI agents to start investigating them for committing the crimes. One FBI agent will remind people of a chihuahua, and the other of a St. Bernard. Also Damian has his permit so he can drive, and since Bruce currently doesn't have a hand in comics I'd add in a plotline where they help an alien who grows back his hand as a reward but he does it wrong and now Bruce has an extra finger.

Batman:

With Bruce and Damian gone, I'd make Tim Batman and Stephanie Robin. They fight crime and bicker like old ex's, leading to some interesting rumors about Batman. I'd make a directive that Tim isn't allowed to be drawn as a twink anymore, but has to be drawn with the rippling muscles he had in the 90's and 00's. Stephanie also gets rippling muscles. Part of the b plot for a while is Stephanie's rivalry with her next-door-neighbor who turns out to be a drug lord, but the drugs he sells are like, insulin and ADHD meds that he and his gang steals because he's a doctor who lost his job for reporting some ethics concerns and now he's mad about the medical system. Stephanie gets mad because in hindsight all the clues were there that he was literally in a gang, and she didn't notice because she thought he was just an asshole. Also they definitely make out at one point.

Detective Comics:

I love what Ram V is doing right now but I think when he's done I'd put Duke Thomas in the main story investigating systemic corruption in Gotham, shining a light (because he's the Signal) on the worst parts of the government. At some point he's accused of murder and the police are all trying to arrest him so he blows up some cop cars and Batman calls to yell at him but he hangs up on Batman. Montoya has a dartboard in her office with a picture of his face on it.

I'd add in an ongoing run of a comic that resembles the original batman comics in style and content. Then I'd have a a bunch of stories with some lesser-known characters, like the Psyba-Rats. I'd really use Tec as a playground to experiment with unusual team-ups, fresh stories, and inventive artstyles.

Birds of Prey:

I like the current lineup but there needs to be 30% more queerbaiting between Barbara and Dinah. There's an issue where Barbara and Dinah pretend to be lesbians to get this himbo to leave Dinah alone because she's trying to let him down easy because he's so damn nice she doesn't want to hurt him. (Has anyone watched Rizzoli and Isles, coincidentally?) I'd also add Helena Bertinelli to the team but she has an eyepatch for inexplicable reasons (the reason is it looks cool). The eyepatch will be dropped without any recognition a few issues later. Barbara drops both Batgirl and Oracle and gets a new identity as the Cloud. Only the Birds of Prey know it's her; everyone else thinks the Cloud may or may not be an evil AI working for Lex Luthor.

Outsiders:

I'm not reading Outsiders so I can't really comment on what I'd do for that one, but if you guys have any ideas let me know and I'll do the opposite, inciting fan fury and starting a Twitter war.

Nightwing:

I would send Dick to live in New York and also I would make him broke and homeless. I thought about making him lose his memory too, but that's already been done so instead I'd give him violent visions of murder and assault so he thinks he's losing his mind but then it turns out to be a secret policy from the new mayor of New York City to quietly round up all the homeless people by releasing gas into the streets at night to knock them out, but Dick has had too much exposure to drugs and poisons for it to work right on him, so instead he gets hallucinations!

Batgirl:

That's right, you'd get a Batgirl ongoing from me! Cassandra Cain would be the main character, and in the first arc I'd have her join a dating app, but then every date she goes on turns out to be with a criminal who she then sends to jail, and just when she's about to give up on dating, on the very last date she goes on the guy tries to force a charter pilot to help him escape by plane but Cass takes him down and the pilot is like "so that was cool. Can I get your number?" and they start dating. After that Cass accidentally joins a gang but she keeps getting gang members sent to jail and no one suspects it's her, only at some point she actually becomes the gang leader. There's then a crossover with Batman where her gang beefs with Stephanie's next-door-neighbor's gang and Cass ends up giving her gang to him peacefully.

Batwoman:

While I'm at it, I'd launch a Batwoman comic. I'd get Chuck Dixon to write it and it would be both wildly homophobic and also the gayest thing you'd ever seen, but eventually ol' Chuck and I would have some creative differences and he would depart, and instead we would have a rotating cast of guest authors. I don't really know much about Batwoman but luckily knowing about a character in order to write them isn't a requirement at DC. I think we need some ghosts so there would be an arc about Batwoman getting haunted by a bunch of angry, vengeful spirits who she thinks are trying to kill her but who are actually trying to lead to their killer. One of the ghosts is a really hot woman and they share a passionate kiss before the ghost girl disappears after Kate gets them justice. The arc would be lauded in some articles as a 'major reversal of the bury your gays trope' because at one point Kate has to dig up their bodies to look for clues, while in other news outlets it would be decried as a 'vile depiction of the desecration of queer final resting places.'

Red Hood and the Outlaws:

Jason starts a club/gym for a group of teenagers where he teaches them cool stuff like 'how to throw a punch' but also 'how to buy and cook groceries'. The gym is threatened by various forces like gangs, developers, the city government, plus the kids all have personal problems they have to deal with, like mental and physical disabilities, generational trauma, homelessness, and poverty. The teenagers call the gym "The Saloon" and themselves "The Outlaws" because Jason always has a TV playing reruns of old western shows. There's a running joke where various people think Jason looks like a dead relative.

Poison Ivy:

I'm a few issues behind but this one I would leave alone. I don't think I could improve on it. Unless I made Janet from HR and Croc an item. That could be fun.

Harley Quinn:

Another one I'm not reading so I don't know what's going on there but it could be fun to have a crossover storyline with Poison Ivy where they grow and sell shrooms to rich college students and then influence them to do stupid stuff and get them arrested. You know, fun date night activities!

Conclusion:

My time in charge of Batman comics would be one of mass outrage and general fervor. My directives would be so unpopular amongst fans that petitions would be started to have me removed and violent death threats towards me would be de rigueur online. I would depart after a few short months and my replacement would almost immediately retcon all my creative decisions away into a dark universe that would then be blown up by Lex Luthor. Ten years later, a dedicated fanbase for the comics produced under me would emerge, and they would be so loud and annoying and insistent that fans would then clamor to get me back in charge of DC once again, but unfortunately by then I will have retired to start drama on Twitter and write a memoir after a failed attempt at starting my own comics company called Big M Comics and getting sued by McDonald's

[choclodox]

Lyle’s IQ score Head Canon

HEAR ME OUT: as much as Lyle def gives me himbo™️ energy, I also feel like he’s supposed to be…PRETTY SMART? he’s just also goofy. Like, I feel like he’s one of those friends that’s the smartest but also the dumbest person you’ve ever had at the same time.

Here is my evidence (dons glasses and grabs a laser pointer)

1. First and foremost, I’m pretty sure Quaritch wouldn’t let a dumbo be able to advance to the rank of Corporal, so Lyle needs to have SOME level of competency (but there’s still some room for his goofball nature lol).

Side note, studies show that people who are comical tend to have higher IQs since it ranks critical thinking to understand humor and make jokes. So Lyle is at least smart in that department.

2. In the first movie, we can see that Trudy trusts him enough to work on her Samson. We all know how much Trudy LOVED her Baby, so she must have had some serious trust in Lyle (someone who wasn’t an RDA mechanic) to let him even TOUCH her Rogue One’s equipment.

3. Also in the first movie, Lyle actually knows his stuff about combat theory and the AMP suits. When Quaritch has Lyle survey the aftermath of the Omatikaya’s retaliation for the destruction of the Tree of Voices, Lyle is able to describe in detail what the damages are. He’s able to tell that the arrows were fired from Ikrans based off the angles of the arrows in the damaged equipment and dead bodies, he can say for a fact that the AMP suits are not just damaged but what exactly is damaged (the Driver in this case).

4. Now in the 2nd movie, we actually get to see more of his smarts come into action. Lyle actually gets promoted from Corporal to Lieutenant and becomes second in command to Quaritch. The RDA wouldn’t let that happen if he was purely a trigger happy soldier; you needs some gray matter for that position.

5. Next, Quaritch looks to LYLE to pull the security feed off of OG Quaritch’s AMP suit. And Quaritch is a smart guy too, but it feels like Big Curly Q knows he’s out of his depth on this one and just hands it off to Lyle because he knows that he actually knows his stuff.

But ya, thanks for coming to my TedTalk :)

Also, a few other hcs I embrace

Lyle is that ONE gringo friend that knows FLUENT Spanish (and possibly knows other languages as well). And when I say Gringo, I don’t mean he’s white but is still Hispanic, no. There is a reason why JamCam named this man after Wainfleet, Ohio (the Ohio of Ohio). But nobody questions his ability to speak Spanish. You leave him alone in any Authentic Hispanic setting and come back in 20 minutes, they’re running to the liquor store because they already ran out of Tequila/pisco/etc. TEAM LATINO LOVES HIM

*side note, Jake probably knows some Spanish too since he did his tours in Venezuela. Who knows, maybe he taught some to Spider because he knows he’s team Latino. A

*and Quaritch probably knows some of Nigeria’s native languages (Hausa, Yoruba, Igbo, etc) since he did 3 whole tours there before coming to Pandora

Lyle likes 90s music (Britney Spears, Mariah Carey) but mainly SHAKIRA. I could see him just dancing alone to Hips Don’t Lie and someone walks in trying to get his attention, but he doesn’t notice and they have to clear their throat and he just screams when he finally notices them

He can dance Samba, Cumbia, Tango, Flamenco. ANYTHING in that family HE CAN DO IT FLAWLESSLY ASU PAPI

Might come from a family of mechanics and worked in a mom and pop mechanic shop (I embrace that one HC where he has a love for cars and just engineering in general). Maybe he wanted to be a more refined engineer but just couldn’t pass the tests since he was more of an intuitive thinker and tests favor more of the technical thinkers.

Likes DragonBall Z but will never admit it

[wizard-on-whales]

Modern AU! for rdr2 characters

These are my headcannons for each character and what I think they would do in modern times.

Characters included: Arthur, Micah, Dutch, John, Abigail, Mary-Beth, Karen, Tilly, Sadie, Strauss, Charles, Susan, Bill, Lenny, Hosea, Sean, Molly, Javier, Swanson

_______________________________

Arthur Morgan: 

He works a blue-collar job. He would most likely be a ranch hand, but for some reason, I can also imagine him being a plumber or welder. In his free time, he does art and sells prints on Etsy. He is still an old-fashioned gentleman (In a good way), and all of the ladies he meets swoon for him, but he is a himbo and doesn't realize they are practically in love with him. They will give him the most obvious hints, but he will think the women are just being nice. 

Micah Bell:

He's the creepy uncle that you avoid at every family gathering. He hasn't had a job in like 15 years, and no one knows how he can still pay his bills. And he also always smells like lingering alcohol and cigarettes. He will lean too close to his nieces and say extremely concerning things everyone would choose to ignore. Im also getting the vibes that he went to prison for several years, but no one knows what for.

Dutch Van Der Linde:

He sells people scams or owns a pyramid scheme business. Similar to Scentsy products, he somehow convinces all of these people to buy his products to sell to other people, telling them they will get rich by selling these products, but, in reality, he's screwing them over and making most of the money himself. 

John Marston: 

If we are talking about early Red Dead 2 Marston, he still lives in his parent's basement and plays video games on his PC all day. He also watches Andrew Tate and would try to boss Abigail around and tell her he's an alpha male. (She'd slap him and tell him to get over himself) Late rdr2 and rdr1, he's grown out of that mindset and has become a working family man. Potentially also a welder, like I said for Arthur. But any high-paying physical job works.  

I feel like Abigail, Mary-Beth, Karen, and Tilly would all have a mom group they host every week to discuss their child's newest achievements. Their husbands think that is all they do at the meetings, but they also have in-depth conversations about women's suffrage and how the world caters to men. They think of ways to better the world and bring more women together to discuss these topics and bring light to issues regarding women. The girls would run a pretty popular Facebook group where they let other women express their opinions on those topics. (Arthur is a part of the Facebook group and likes every post he sees and comments shit like, “You're doing great, ladies! Keep up the good work! 😁🥰👍”) 

Sadie would probably occasionally attend these meetings (Although I dont see her having children, she would go for the cheap wine and to hang with her friends). Sadie would also go for the in-depth conversations and bring new thoughts to the table because she is a CEO or manager for a very successful company. She would share her experiences of what it's like to be on top of the men who work for her but still be looked down upon by them simply because of her gender. She would also probably share tips on that Facebook page on how to create a successful business without having to attend years of college and give tips for all stay-at-home moms who want to be more than just moms and wives. (She would also be the cool rich aunt)

Leopold Strauss: 

He would do the same thing. He gives loans to people who he knows won't be able to pay back the money, and then when the bill comes, he'd ruin their lives and probably end up breaking up families/ relationships and send people to jail for not paying back the money in time. 

Charles Smith:

I can see him being a park ranger or working in any conservation field. Potentially even a firefighter who deals with all of the forest fires that happen in places along the West Coast. He’d also be one to do something similar to what he did in the game, but he would work with the local native tribes against companies to try to win back their lands before it gets plowed over for an Amazon factory or something. 

Susan Grimshaw:

I can see her being the mean substitute teacher who yells at everyone to get to work, and then when someone does something slightly wrong, she would yell at the whole class and be like, “In all of my years of teaching, I have never seen a class behave this badly.” Either that or she would work at the front desk of the business Sadie runs. Miss Grimshaw would NOT play with anyone who would try to be rude towards her. 

Bill Williamson: 

Ehem…a police officer. I feel like this one is self-explanatory. But he would mostly sit in his car and do nothing his entire shift. Occasionally pulling someone over for speeding. If they are a white dude, he'd would let them off with just a warning. Poor Lenny would probably get the ticket. 

Lenny Summers: 

I feel like he would be the one to graduate high school early and go to college as soon as possible. I dont know exactly what he would choose for his degree, but I feel like it would be something involving politics. Maybe that wouldn't be his major, but he would take a government class. Or Potentially going into journaling. 

Hosea Matthews:

He's the retired grandpa who used to work in a factory where he made a surprising amount of money and was able to retire early. He spends most of his days walking up at 5 in the morning to watch the sunrise and read the morning paper. And he’ll spend every opportunity he gets to take his kids or grandkids fishing. And if you stay at his house overnight or for the weekend, he gives you a bowl of ice cream every night before bed and recounts every story he could think of that happened from the last time you saw him. (Some of them are surprisingly concerning, but he is one of those badass grandpas)

Sean Macguire:

Similar to John, Sean would spend most of his time gaming on his PC and arguing with children on COD or Fortnite. But he also works at a local bar as the bartender and won't hesitate to argue with the drunk assholes and would slap a bitch if needed. But he also embarrasses himself by flirting with women who will give him dirty looks or tell him that they are gay. (I feel like Karen would also work late-night shifts at the bar with him, but shes also taking online college classes because she wants to be a social worker) 

Molly O’Shea:

Instagram and TikTok influencer 100%, and lots of brands like to sponsor her and send her free stuff (Mostly because of Dutch’s business.) and she posts videos of her and Dutch, and everyone in the comments freaks out about how he is grooming her because of their age difference but she denies it all and says that they are actually in love.  But then she would post a video to that one sound, “My god this reminds me of when we were young.” And Molly be like 8, and Dutch be in his mid-to-late 20s. 

Javier Escuella: 

He’d be a musician. He would have started out in a shitty garage band with Sean and John or something, but then he’d realize he actually wants to be a serious musician while the other guys were just messing around. So he’d leave and make solo music that blows up, and he ends up going on tour, and making a lot of money and becoming hugely successful. 

Reverend Swanson:

The preacher you always see in the corner of the bar Sean works at. And if you went up to him and started talking to him, he’d tell you the most profound things. He would tell you about his life when he was younger and what happened that made him lose hope, but he would motivate you to never give up. He’d be that person you meet by chance for a few seconds that you would never forget. Hosea probably invites him to go fishing with him from time to time. But instead of fishing, Swanson stares at the water ripples in silence. Hosea would let him sit in silence and let Swanson enjoy the company and the time to think while being sober. 

----------------------------

[fandomtrash-whataboutit]

Fairy Tail Freed Justine Thesis

Character! Part 2b. (Of ???)

The first important thing to do is realize how outstanding Freed is in his characterization as compared to others with whom he should be similar. I mention this in part 2a, but Freed is introduced as a side antagonist (not that i think any of the Thunder Legion are villains, but the point stands) and yet is given this depth of character, this internal conflict, that comes a a great surprise. Compare him even just with Bixlow and Evergreen in season 1. Both are one-note characters, and that’s not necessarily a jab at the show, it sort of makes sense for the first introduction of a side character. In a show like FT, that runs for a very long time, side characters do tend to get proper characterization, but it is a lengthy process. Bix and Ever are both having fun with the fight, they both follow Laxus’ orders easily, they both are just support antagonists. Yet Freed is presented with this crisis of conscious that, if you bother to think about it, shows things like the loyalty he has to the guild, a trait assigned to many of Fairy Tail’s members, especially those raised in the guild, yet something that is not shown for Bix and Ever until later appearances. Freed’s love and care for his home and family are represented in a way Bix and Ever’s aren’t, not to mention the guilt of causing harm to others.

Which brings us to the next stopping point: Tenrou Island. As we all know: freed doesn’t fight his hardest against Cana during their battle during the S-Class trials, eliminating him from the running. This is in reference to the fight he had with Cana (and Juvia?? She sorta didn’t fight) during the Battle of Fairy Tail. We’ve established that Freed is shown to have that dedication to the guild that is shown in characters like Natsu, Erza, and Elfman. He has very real, very strong motivations to want to gain that high honor of being recognized as an S-Class wizard. But he remembers the unfair situation he put Cana in, the pain that he doesn’t and never did agree with or want to carry out, her anger over his treatment of Juvia. And he feels guilty, he is remorseful, and more than that he actively wants to take repentant action because he wants not just to apologize but to make up for his actions. And no other characters get that sort of treatment. Laxus has the obvious way to make you have to think about the Battle of Fairy Tail even after season 1: he’s freaking exiled. He doesn’t come back until season 3. But in terms of lasting emotional consequences? Fairy Tail follows in the footsteps of a million other action/adventure shows, they forgive and forget past grievances offscreen. No one is shown to still be mad at the Thunder Legion, Bixlow and Evergreen don’t really mention it, and Laxus is only connected back to it through the exile itself, not in reference to any specific actions. While I believe it is mentioned a couple of times, it is only ever in reference. Freed is once again given this significant emotional maturity and general representation that is not afforded to any other character.

But now let’s talk about the Thunder Legion, shall we? Because with a bit of time we do get the Bixlow and Evergreen characterization that I so desperately seek. Bixlow is loud and excitable and sharp, Evergreen is snarky and rude and confrontational. Freed is not similar to either of them in terms of character traits, but he sees their better sides beneath the sarcasm. For whatever reasons you think are behind Bix or Ever’s motivation for being standoffish, Freed recognizes that. And he knows the roots of Laxus’ anger, he knows the pain that the lightning wizard is trying to hide. During the time that were teenagers and young adults, Freed was probably one of the only people who saw the gruff himbo behind the angry asshole persona. Freed is bookish and somewhat introverted, no-nonsense as he can be. Yet he is also someone who really loves his obnoxious, crazy friends. The dichotomy between him and his closest friends is an important aspect of who he is. And it is important for another reason, because it shows a significant, not directly stated aspect of his character. He is someone who repeatedly makes that choice to look beyond the rough exterior of those around him, who chooses to give others the benefit of the doubt. He is a trusting, optimistic person at heart.

Another thing that is less overlooked but still not discussed enough bc we don’t talk about Freed enough: he goes beyond bookish into scholarly. He is an academic, and I therefore hypothesize that he is something of an expert, or at least considered a reasonable authority on subjects of ancient magic and the roots of magic. Runes are essentially the legos of magic, they can be used to construct pretty much anything with the right pieces, and considered to be a very old form of magic with a lot of history. I think that should be respected considering how much his knowledge probably contributes to his strength, while also contributing to how fearsome of an opponent he is. In any given fight, he probably knows more about your magic than you do.

My final addition is that I want to highlight that Freed is incredibly generous. The selflessness with Cana on Tenrou, the willingness to give up his own beliefs for Laxus’ cause, his willingness to DIE in season 9 to protect his friends. He takes on the responsibility to cook for his team every time they go out on a mission. I bet he loves teaching Asuka and helping her with reading, I bet he goes out of his way to recommend books to Levy. I bet he never turns down someone asking for help with a weird obscure magical thing for a job. I bet he helps Wendy learn more about her lost magic. I bet he coos at Bixlow’s babies. (Can you tell i am normal about him?? Cus i am so normal about him.)

[yanderu-deredere]

Ryuu behaving like a sweet himbo for his darling makes it so easy to forget that he's 1) a yandere and 2) brutal y'know because of his occupation. What's his sadistic side like? Is he subtle or does he go to darling expecting praise? Or on the flip side, what about a darling who showers him with unconditional love but definitely uses his muscle against people who've wrong them?

a/n: thank you for your interest in ryuu! im sure he appreciates it! but yes, he's kind of a wild one loool i do a lil explainy thing in the beginning but you'll read a lil cute drabble at the end so i think it's worth

warning: mentions of crimes and murder? thatse it lol, implied decapitation i guess, also blood lol

ryuunosuke yamamoto ★ profile

Ryuu's sadistic side isn't an exact opposite of how he is normally. He's always a himbo, through and through. It's probably why so many people are so terrified of him. He approaches disgusting things like killing people and torturing people with a sort of childlike glee? There's definitely a sort of unhinged-ness to it, for sure.

And he has just about the highest pain tolerance among anyone in Lovelock. He's the type to be hit full force with a bat and then just shrug it off. He also doesn't even drop when he gets tazed (though he does shake a good bit). He's basically an unstoppable killing machine LOL and sometimes it unnerves even his closest coworkers.

Thankfully, his darling never has to see any of that. His darling is his most important person and, though he doesn't think there's anything wrong with how he does his 'work', he wants to keep his love life and that shit completely separate. He's not sure why but he knows that side of his life terrifies people and makes them run to the hills and he doesn't want that to happen with his darling. It's very much 'he doesn't think it's wrong but he knows other people don't like it' kind of thing?

The only caveat to that though is that Ryuu would only be willing to do it if he also thinks darling is willing to do the same (or around the same if darling isn't willing to kill) for him. Despite his himbo tendencies, Ryuu can be really perceptive when people are taking advantage of him without caring for his wellbeing. He'd grown up with his parents using him and then several other people used him after that too. He's learned from his mistakes.

It's entirely a different thing when it comes to his darling ordering him though. It only happens when Ryuu finds it in him to trust that darling won't run away or darling finds out about that part of his life themselves. Either way, it's definitely taking the next step in a relationship with Ryuu. And letting them in like that means that he really can trust his darling completely, fully, wholly.

A darling that can control him like that will be a powerhouse in Lovelock because Ryuu really is that unstoppable. He's like a zombie LOL he can take bullets like it's nothing. All darling really has to do is bat their eyelashes and ask nicely. Ryuu is way too willing to do unspeakable things to people just because darling asked.

The only reason Dreamy Creamery has earned his loyalty is because he knows how nicely the leader treats her underlings. Yeah, he 'works' for money but also he realised along the way that he wanted to work for people he kind of sort of cared about.

So, a darling that only wants him as a weapon and nothing else is not appealing. That doesn't mean he won't be yandere for them, of course. But a darling like that would have a hard time 'controlling' him.

Ryuu pressed his hand a bit more firmly against the bullet hole in his side. It didn't feel like anything but that didn't change the fact that bleeding out would've been bad.

Also, he knew how much you hated it when he made a mess.

As he approached the truck, he saw the passenger side open and your legs dangle out. Like a dog to a bone, he scrambled to you, desperate for you to praise him.

Though he felt no pain, running to you made him stumble and he fell to his knees right to you.

He couldn't help but think it appropriate.

"I did it." Was all he could say, hand still pressed against his injury but his free hand reached for you, desperate for your touch.

You slapped his hand away and, finally, Ryuu felt pain. He whimpered, pulling his hand to his chest, his enamoured expression shifting to one of worry and anxiety.

"What did I say." You asked him sternly, a frown marring your beautiful face.

Though, marring might've been wrong. You were still so gorgeous despite the fact that you were looking at Ryuu like he was the shit on your shoe.

"Y-You told me. You told me that man was bothering you. I killed him!" The distressed expression gave way to one of blood lust and glee "He won't bother you anymore, darling! Not after I disconnected his stupid fucking head from his disgusting--"

You gripped his face in your hand, shutting him up immediately. He reveled in the way your fingers dug into his cheeks, enjoyed the way you made him look you straight in the eye.

"I told you not to get injured." You told him sternly, the disappointment evident in your voice "I don't give a shit about that man. I just want you to come back unscathed. Didn't I make that clear?"

Usually, your disappointment broke Ryuu's heart. Usually, he didn't like disappointing you at all. Right now though? He felt his heart flutter wildly in his chest.

Instead of answering you properly, Ryuu's hand moved from his bullet hole to your cheek, cupping your face and pulling you close to him.

Despite the smear of blood against your skin, you allowed him to guide you to him, your lips pressing against his in a messy searing kiss.

[4kiraa]

JOCK ITTO AND HIS “EMO” GF😱

nah cuz you can tell me itto nd his gf wouldn’t be total opposites…

cw!: fem!reader, talk of being emo☠️, reader just wears black and dresses kinda like those goths on pinterest that i be calling mommy, mentions of bullying really minor i swear, modern hs day au because i know absolutely nothing abt genshin LMAO. ALSO NAWT PROOF READ.

No one could believe what they were currently seeing.

A 6’5, jock who was known for being the “himbo” of their school, walking hand in hand with the all black wearing girl who was an entire foot shorter than him and who’s looks could also kill. whispers filled the air as girls who had been crushing on your bf since the dawn of time glared at your warm smiling faces.

no one could believe what they were currently seeing

JOCK ITTO! who for the past 2 weeks has been enchanted by you, a girl he sees every two days in the library either reading a book or listening to music through your black sonny earphones decorated with tiny little skull stickers. he was originally sent there by his teachers because he had been failing in almost every single subject. it’s not like he was dumb!…well ok he kinda is, but it was mainly because of his sports. being a jock with countless games at different schools along with practice was very hard!!!

JOCK ITTO! who told his gang of jocks about you, the mysterious and very pretty girl but was shocked to hear their response.

“oh, you mean y/n?” one of his friends cackled. “she’s no good news arataki” he said as he patted itto on the back. “yeah!” one of his other friends chimed in “i remember trying to askin’ her out once, she’s a dark beauty alright but man is she cold! before i could even finish she walked away from me!. im tell’n you man, shes totally stuck up” “ itto was surprised to say the least, ‘was that all true?’ i mean, how would he know? he’s never even talked to you before, he’s just stared at you like a lil creep admiring the way you brushed you hair , or how you would apply your lip gloss, and how- “you know itto” one of his friends said while interjecting his thoughts. “ a girl is the last thing you should be worrying about, we’ve got a game soon and our best player isn’t with us because he’s too busy trying to complete his homework” he was right, itto thought. he should be focusing on sports, not some girl. but still for some reason, he just couldn’t get you off his mind…

JOCK ITTO! Who after thinking about you for days, decided to go and talk to you instead of hearing about you from his friend’s experiences. “hey! i’m arataki itto, what’s your name!” he said while running towards you in the library “i’ve seen you a couple times before and i just wanted to say that-“ “SHHHH” the librarian loudly shushed him as itto covered his mouth. “sorry! n’yways as i was- he froze solid as your pretty mascara covered eyes looked him up and down, your plump lips parting to respond. “i’m sorry, do you need something?” itto, still frozen, started sweating. 'is she mad at me? why does she sound mad? is that always how she sounds😨?’ mans was stressed ok, and it didn’t help that you were a criminally beautiful girl because we all know despite this man being one of the most popular guys in school and having girl all across the damn country thirsting over him, he still has L rizz.

JOCK ITTO! Who, for the first time, saw you crack a warm hearted smile at his awkwardness, creating little black butterflies in his stomach. “i’m just kidding” you say will playfully hitting his arm ‘i’m never going to shower after this🫡’ itto thought. “my name is y/n, i’ve seen you in the library for the past few weeks, you need any help?

JOCK ITTO! who you now help out with his homework, both of you learning new things about each other. for him, he learns about your style and ‘dark’ interests. And for him, you realize that’s he’s actually not so dumb. and as the two of you gradually grow closer, the more stares and whispers that you both gain.

“Nahh, is that y/n and itto? ain no way😨”

“shut up, she’ll hear you and sacrifice you, i heard that’s what then emos be doing bruh”

JOCK ITTO! who after 3 months, finally decided to ask you out, fumbling over his words and looking like a damn fool if i’m being honest.But no thing could prepare him for your answer. “so you like me huh?” you said in a sly tone. “sure, let’s go out itto, show me a good time” then bro fainted…

“um itto, itto… you alright?” dw about him he just fainted from joy 🤗

No one could believe what they were currently seeing.

A 6’5, jock who was known for being the “himbo” of their school, walking hand in hand with the all black wearing girl who was an entire foot shorter than him and who’s looks could also kill. whispers filled the air as girls who had been crushing on your bf since the dawn of time glared at your warm smiling faces. But you didn’t care, and neither did your boyfriend.

LMAO I FORGOT TO PUT TAGS ND TS FLOPPED SO HARD😭

sorry ngl ts was ass at the end cuz this been in my drafts since 1987. also emorights ok bai:3 

[420thewritersroom]

Got That Cursed Dawg in Him

Whoo-ie, this took slightly longer than intended. I wanted to gift this piece to @averageludwig simply because I LOVE LOVE LOVE their art and their pieces of the Demoman & Soldier makes my heart do backflips AND front flips. This is also highly inspired by @waterwindow art on Twitter that I think about daily, on top of that I love their art and their pieces on Demo & Soldier too.

This is also my first time writing anything involving the TF2 peeps, and I feel like it shows a lot when writing dialogue for the Soldier and Demoman (I didn't bother with doing written accents because...no, not skilled or patient enough to bother with that lol).

Before we continue, just wanted to do a bit of housekeeping, BLU Soldier is named John Doe (full name Johnathan Dodger) and is essentially a BLU Team OC. Same with the BLU Demoman, their name is Harvey (full name Harvey MacLennan). So for those who are confused on why the Soldier is named John instead of Jane, that's why. I also like to interpret the BLU Soldier to be a tad bit smarter (still a massive himbo). Anyway, I hope you enjoy the read!

Characters: RED Demoman (Tavish Finnegan DeGroot), BLU Soldier (John Doe), BLU Demoman (Harvey Maclennan)

Word Count: 2,058

Ships: RED Demoman/BLU Soldier (Boots n Bombs) if you squint

Warnings: Canon Typical Violence (it's not too gratuitous, but it's there), Unresolved Tension, mentions of murder, BLU Soldier is too dumb to not escalate situations to worse heights

John strains to keep himself upright, wobbly staying on his feet as he looks at the RED Demoman across from him under his helmet. Pained breaths escape him as he readjusts the grip on his shovel, having lost his rocket launcher in the fight long ago.

"Tavish," it hurts to talk as John forces himself to try to reach his former friend again, "Tavish, you need to snap out of it!"

He has tried, time and time again, since this fight reignited, to get Tavish to stop this bloodshed he was subjecting both teams to. John said he could talk him out of this blood-frenzied stupor that the RED Demoman was under, that there was no need to trap Tavish in the Respawn system. Or worse, cut him off from it completely. He can be reasoned with. He's one of the most reasonable men with both teams combined.

"You have to let go of that sword, Tavish. You can't let whatever commie trickery that thing is plaguing you with take over. For your sake, listen to me!"

The RED Demoman was slumped forward, arms dangling in front of him while holding on tightly to the Eyelander that dripped fresh blood from its blade. Tavish's remaining eye shone with a cursed green, the outcome of constantly feeding the sword the heads of not only the BLU team but RED as well. The usual rogueish charm that the Demolition Man possessed was gone. In its place, a blood-hungry beast that saw neither friend nor foe, but lambs fit for the slaughter. Despite being wholly empowered by the claymore, the body is still flesh and bone. Tavish, or whomever was possessing him, struggled to keep themselves aloft. They have lost too much blood, and Tavish's body protested any further exertion unless treated.

John, however, looked worse for wear. His uniform was ripped and in tatters, revealing the white tanktop below, which was also showing signs of damage. He lost FAR more blood than Tavish ever did, with multiple cuts that ran deep and oozed his essence all over his attire and on the dirt below. Breathing was haggard and painful for the BLU Soldier to do. Hell, existing was riding him up a wall as hours of fighting and dodging were catching up with him. The only reason he was still kicking was thanks to the few health kits and bottles that were littered about, the dispenser that his team Engineer set up for him (that was now destroyed at this point), and their resident nurse giving him a buff before the confrontation. But his resources were running thin. He practically ran this entire battlefield dry of its health kits and ammo, his rocket launcher and shotgun now only having a single shell and maybe two rockets for him to utilize.

"Heads," a ghostly snarl escapes not from the claymore but from Tavish's mouth, dripping like poison in John's weary ears. "Heads…Heads," the body continued to utter as it tried to inch closer to John. Tavish's body, exhausted from the fight, struggled to place one foot after the other, stumbling here and there as every nerve was demanding that this being stop and let it rest.

John can barely think. He tried talking to Tavish, but nothing was getting through to him. Every plea, insult, and statement was greeted with unbridled violence and horrific screams. Any strategy the war veteran could think of was leaking from his ears (or maybe that's just blood now that he's thinking about it). As Tavish's body lumbered closer, John scrambled mentally on what to do. Shooting Tavish will send him to respawn and will provoke the RED team to damn Tavish to whatever fate they opted to do. But he can't fight him either. Should whatever's controlling the Scotsman gain a second wind, John will be sent through the ringer instead, failing in his mission and pushing both teams to definitely kill Tavish.

Tavish was now within arm's length of the Soldier, scrapping the Eyelander beside him on the dirt ground and ready to swing the weapon at John's head. John isn't sure what compelled him to do this. Perhaps he was hinging on the possibility that their past friendship still lingered somewhere in Tavish's mind. Maybe it was a final distraction tactic he opted to pull out from under the possessed Demoman's feet. Regardless of what the reasons were, John pushed himself to get dangerously close to the deranged Demoman.

And he kissed him.

The kiss might as well be two kids on the playground pressing lips together, thinking this is "how adults kiss" or woeful virgins awkwardly "kissing" each other. The sensuality was lost between the two of them; their lips connected, but the desire that usually comes with it was in the other room.

Yet, John couldn't help but feel his heart flutter a bit. He tells himself that it's just the adrenaline and fatigue that caused his heart to skip a beat, kicking away the dawning fear that he might still harbor the same feelings that he felt all those years ago; before their fallout, before the Demoman betrayed his trust. But despite these affirmations he tried to hammer into his head, his lips still lingered far too long than they should have. But it must be doing something; Tavish has yet to raise his Eyelander at him.

John mentally had to rip himself away from the Demoman, quickly stepping back should the RED fiend decide to take a swipe at him. What he saw before him took him aback as the RED Demoman stared at the BLU Soldier with a wide eye. The color of Tavish's remaining eye no longer glowed a misty green, but it wasn't back to the usual brown that it was before. Instead, his eye was a startingly alluring emerald green.

"…Tavish?" John says carefully.

There's a brief moment of silence between the two, and John decides to take further initiative in this temporary standstill. "Tavish, you have to give me the sword. You're out of control, out of line, even for someone of your expertise."

The Demoman remained still, his face filled with foggy confusion as he seemingly was slowly coming to his senses. John took this moment of uncertainty to his advantage as he leisurely reached for the sword.

"If you don't let go of this communist contraption you found, they'll kill you. You hear me? They. Will. Kill. You, Maggot," despite the insult, it held none of the searing bite that it usually conveys. John silently thanks his helmet for shadowing his eyes as he used the concealment to prevent the RED Demoman from seeing him eyeing his sword.

"You may not be a red, white, and blue-blooded American, but I know you can fight whatever has plagued your English-muddled brain." John was so close to the sword that he could taste it. Just a millimeter longer, and he'll end this nightmare once and for all-

Tavish's eye suddenly flares in anger, shoving John away from him and placing extra distance from the BLU Soldier. "Then let them kill me. Maybe Heaven or Hell will have more use for me than this wasteland of a state!"

John stares at Tavish dumbfounded, his helmet slightly ajar to glimpse his blue eyes. "Tavish, you don't know what you're saying-"

"I know EXACTLY what I'm saying. Haven't had a drop of scrumpy since I've started this rampage."

So he was aware? All this time?

"What? You think I'm that ill-willed to just LET a dead son of a bitch take me over without an inch of a fight, eh? I fought the goddamn loche, read a cursed book, and lost me eye for it."

Not a single word was slurred or interrupted by an untimely burp. John was lost for words, unsure of how to respond.

"But, why? You're terrorizing both teams consorting with that weapon, letting it whisper Russian nonsense into your ears!"

"Firstly, this sword isn't from fucking Russia; let's put that through your tin-canned skull first. Secondly, I let it take over because I allowed it."

"But WHY?" Soldier couldn't restrain his growing impatience, his tone resorting back to his usual drill sergeant demeanor.

"Wouldn't you like to know."

"Don't back sass me, you one-eyed Scot son of a bitch. Your whiskey-drinking life is on the goddamn line."

"See, that right there," the Demoman points at the Soldier accusingly, "Maybe if you'd stop with those demeaning jokes, we wouldn't be in this mess!"

"Jokes? It's what you are, Tavish! You have one eye, and you drink! What else am I supposed to call-" John stops himself, his mind finally clicking back into gear and understanding where Tavish was coming from. "Ah, so drinking wasn't enough, was it? Gotta bully everyone else, all because of your own damn insecurities, is that it?"

"You shut your bucket-wearing trap," Tavish growled, his remaining eye threatening John with a ghostly mist.

"Maybe if you actually faced your own demons instead of trying to drown them out with whiskey and blood, you'd be half the man you wished you were."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Tavish's eye becomes fully enveloped in the same cursed green color as his fury rises to new heights. "YOU HAVE LITTLE ROOM TO TALK FOR SOMEONE WHO WAS PLACED IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL FOR DECIMATING THEIR WHORE OF A GIRLFRIEND!"

Though this should've struck a cord in John, it instead made his spine and skin run cold as a shiver coursed through him. Nevermind that Tavish screamed to the heavens a secret he wished was left buried in its grave, but John completely lost the plot of what he was supposed to be doing. If anything, he reignited and made worse the Demoman's conviction to fucking kill him.

"T-Tavish, wait," John tried to backpedal, kicking himself mentally for letting his emotions run his mouth. But it was too late. The familiar sounds of Tavish's ungodly screams came rushing at him, and he had little time to run. Hell, he even tripped on himself attempting to run away from the bull that was the RED Demoman.

Thank his stars and garters that the Eyelander clanged against steel instead of his flesh and bone.

John is unsure when the BLU Demoman appeared or where they came from, but he was slightly grateful that the demolitionist stood between him and the willfully possessed Tavish.

"We gave you ten minutes, you took an hour, and we waited, John," Harvey's soft voice pierced through John like a hot knife to butter.

John panics as the possibility of Tavish meeting a fate worse than death becomes a painful inevitability in his mind. He scrambles through his words, thoughts not connecting to his lips, "Harv, please, just give me more time-"

"I gave you all the time in the world, Soldier. But something has to be done," Harvey grunts, and his words felt cold to the touch, but he does not raise his voice. Keeping a steady tone that, to an untrained ear, he might as well be as serene as a monk.

The BLU Demoman ends the standstill between him and his RED counterpart, building distance by kicking Tavish away with amazing strength. A prowess even the BLU Soldier didn't know his BLU companion possessed.

The RED Demoman's back slams against the outer walls of one of the buildings. With that previous stalemate, Tavish's body felt a renewed vigor as it slumped forward, and from his mouth, a familiar, venomous hiss escaped his lips, "Heads."

"If there's anything good that came out of your distraction, most of BLU have convened with RED, and they're plotting what to do with this beast once it's down." Harvey tilts his head to look at John, "Either you join them, or you help me keep this monster down."

John, from under his helmet, lingers between the two Demomen, searching through his mind how he can still salvage this situation. Ultimately, he settles on helping Harvey in the moment, and hopes to contain Tavish should they weaken him again. The BLU Soldier gets back on his feet, shovel in hand and stands with his BLU companion.

"I know you both have history, but that can not hold you back from doing what must be done, Johnathan," the BLU Demoman softly says.

"I know," John answers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey, you made it to the end of the story, congrats :D

My main inspiration for making this piece, aside from Waterwindow's art piece, was because I have yet to see anyone put Demoman in the "unwillingly or willingly becomes possessed by an entity that takes over their body completely and they're so deep in the possession sauce that they require the power of friendship to save them or have to be put down like a dog for the sake of the world" trope, and I decided to clumsily make this a reality.

I can just imagine, especially when he gains the Eyelander and his friendship with the BLU Soldier is broken, that Tavish goes through a spiral of emotions as he questions his self-worth and feels guilty for betraying his friend all for a cursed sword. And his guilt and self-hatred eats up at him and he becomes vulnerable to the influence of the Eyelander and lets the sword put him on auto pilot, allowing the spirit within to go on a mindless rampage against both RED and BLU team.

[phoenixkaptain]

Currently obsessed with the idea of Anakin being a virgin yet having the most calm reaction towards sex.

Like, I’m picturing that people have asked him to have sex with them, and he’s always said no, no matter where he is, what he’s doing, or who he’s with, he always says no. But, he isn’t blushing or flustered or anything like that, he somehow always manages to gently tell people no and send them on their way with no hard feelings, and he doesn’t treat people who ask him for sex different afterwards, even friends, so everyone just assumes that he has had sex, or that he has sex often enough that he doesn’t want anymore.

Imagining this because it is incredibly funny (read: horribly depressing) to imagine that Anakin doesn’t really want to have sex because he grew up on Tatooine as a slave, so he kind of views it as a forceful thing, but when he came to Coruscant, Obi-Wan or someone else told him (as awkwardly and uncomfortably as is humanly imaginable) that sex is something some people do just for fun, but that Anakin can always say no, and he can say no to more than just sex, he can say no to any activity he’s uncomfortable with, and Anakin took this to heart and now views sex as, like, equivalent to sparring, but he just is never in the mood (and he doesn’t know what “the mood” means???) so he always says no when people ask.

But, he was on Tatooine long enough to pick up the idea of Angels on Iego’s moons, he definitely picked up how some people would say no to sex so calmly that it created no hard feelings, and since he views sex as just one of those things that happens to some people, he wants there to be no hard feelings, so he channels that energy as much as possible because he doesn’t want his friends to feel awkward around him just because (as he understands it) they like how he looks.

Imagining that he got married to Padme and he is completely cool with naked cuddling or naked walking around or naked anything, but it has been months and he still hasn’t asked for sex, and Padme is like “Ani, I’m not disappointed, but are you asexual?” because she’s so confused. And Anakin is just “What’s an asexual?”

Padme: “Asexual people don’t want to have sex with other people.”

Anakin: “I don’t think I’m that. I just don’t want to have sex with people.”

Padme: “That is literally the exact definition I just gave you.”

Anakin: “I suppose I’ve been curious, a few times, I just can’t imagine having sex when you can just spar if you want to get all sweaty.”

Padme: “??? There are other reasons to have sex?”

Anakin: “Yeah, I know, it’s fun or whatever, I just think running around the galactic senate building three hundred times is more fun, y’know?”

Padme: “I must concede defeat, I don’t know what we’re talking about anymore.”

I just want Anakin to have the healthiest view of sex that it is humanly possible to have, but I also want him to be the biggest dumbass in the galaxy. I want him to be the least horny himbo in the galaxy. I want him to accidentally start thinking about sex as, like, stretching that requires a partner.

Padme: “Would you feel comfortable having sex with anybody?”

Anakin: “Obi-Wan normally helps me with new exercizes.”

Padme: “I’ll call Obi-Wan.”

And then a three hour discussion of Padme and Obi-Wan trying to explain to Anakin that sex is something some people view as sacred and Anakin just tilts his head and is like “But both of you have had sex before,” and it isn’t a question but they both get very flustered because, yes, but, shut up. And Anakin is just “Master Yoda doesn’t have sex. Master Yoda is pretty cool.”

Padme: “That doesn’t really have anything to do with this discussion.”

(Padme and Obi-Wan: horrifying imagery of Yoda having sex, 2 dead, fifteen thousand injured)

Anakin: “Maybe not having sex is what makes Yoda wise, have we considered that?”

Obi-Wan: “Please stop talking about whether or not Yoda fucks-“

I dunno, I just want himbo Anakin, you feel me?

[wordsandrobots]

Falling for a Fool: Afterword

A confession: I cannot get through episode 45 of Iron-Blooded Orphans, properly, without coming to the verge of tears. I have discovered that if I turn the sound off, I can make it about as far as the back half of episode 46 without that happening. Which made it a lot easier to take screenshots, but it still got me, in the end.

And that's exactly why I fell in love with this show.

It's trite, but I think everyone should have the chance to be moved by something, whatever it is and wherever it comes from. Stories, all artworks in fact, are there to make us feel something. To convey emotion and meaning, to play on the keyboard of our minds and allow us to hallucinate meaningful things in safety. A couple of years back, the thing that moved me was an anime about child soldiers in space, produced to sell model kits. It worked. I did buy a lot of model kits. I also got to have my emotions twisted to bits by a superbly crafted tragedy.

I can wax lyrical about the technicalities of that process. I can do the writerly bit, as I've said before, of pulling apart the mechanics of how this show works and why it hits me so hard. That doesn't change the fact it *does* hit me, hard, and that's why I've spent my time since first watching it writing so much about it. It was exactly what I needed to see, when I saw it, and the inspiration it has given me has been absolutely wonderful.

I guess the reason I decided to run back through the imagery of the series, and specifically that concerning Yamagi and Shino's relationship, is that I wanted to check my working. I'm nearly at the end of the huge story I developed off the back of my first fanfic for IBO, the culmination of two and a half years of work. When I post it, likely at the start of August 2024, I will have approaching 650,000 words worth of 'here's how I would do a follow-up' on Ao3. That's a lot. For me, it's a hitherto unheard-of amount of consistent work.

Yet it started, very simply, with this: how do you save Shino?

Because the end to his arc in the show is a moment of deliberate pointlessness. It's got to be, for the narrative to work. But I have a soft heart and more than that, I'd fixated on what precedes the failure of Shino's daring gambit. Those scenes between him and Yamagi throughout episode 45 and the fundamental, unintentional cruelty of asking someone who adores you to enable what is, however much it wasn't supposed to be, your suicide run.

There are any number of ways to save Shino, in the sense of imagining he wasn't actually dead when Flauros was blown off into space in the next episode. It's easy! But which option allows one to best drill into what he and Yamagi are to each other, in that moment where he finally demonstrates he isn't the totally oblivious himbo after all? What is the method that allows them to come together again, not as comet and tail, but something more equal? Something that, rather than just clicking one's fingers and declaring, 'all is well', admits to everything dire and disturbing about Tekkadan.

Because those things are the point. And to me, they are vital to my love of the original work.

So. My apologies for a couple of days of scab-picking on main. I needed it, I think, to look back and see that, yes. What I have done follows (in my own mind at least) from what's on-screen. As much as my fic is essentially a work of reconstruction -- of redeeming love from hopelessness -- the heart of it remains full of rust and sharp fragments, of blood and pain, and a bitter understanding that the world does not care about you in the slightest.

And that the point is to care anyway.

[brainrotallthewaydown1312]

I just got a poll about bi himbos on my feed and the first option, who is winning in a landslide, is Jake Peralta. and like I get it. believe me I get it. but y'all seem to forget he is a cop. that is literally like his whole thing.

I almost kept scrolling, but I also recently saw fanart of the 99 at a pride parade and a babygirl edit of Terry. so I think it's time for a reminder.

ACAB includes fictional tools of copaganda.

even when

they are fun

they are likeable

they are narratively interesting

they are nuanced

they are looking to fix the system

they are kind people

they are relatable

they are flawed

the writers know they are a bastard

this is because they are still cogs in a bastardized system. all cops are bastards because they are traitors to their class, to their communities, and when they are any kind of minority they are traitors to their identities. by working as a cop they perpetuate systematic cycles of violence and oppression. even if they have reasons like "I want to fix the system from inside" or "I was helped by a cop once and want to do that" or "I genuinely want to help people who are struggling" there are other, better ways to accomplish all of those that do not involve being a cop. even that middle one. there are many forms of community resource positions you can take.

I want to reiterate. I get the thing with Jake Peralta. putting the copaganda aside for a moment, he is a goofball. he is very effectively coded both as bi and as having adhd. he definitely does fit into the chaos bi himbo archetype that is popular for good reason. he is a nuanced character who is always looking for ways to do the right thing. his mistakes are shown and he (usually) is able to recognise them and apologise. he is relatable to many people and charismatic to even more.

but he is still a cop. everyone on that show is either a cop or actively supporting cops, unless they are an antagonist. including Doug Judy, a career criminal who is self described best friends with jake.

and I cannot shame anyone for their enjoyment of Brooklyn 99. the comedy is well written, the characters all have interesting arcs, and it is unique in its genre for a few reasons. I myself watched most of the early seasons when I was in high school and enjoyed the well structured queer coding and the way it discussed the diversity in the precinct instead of shying away from it (put a pin in that for a second) For full disclosure, I have also watched and found enjoyment in the full run of Criminal Minds. and Bones. one of my alltime favorite shows is Eureka which is not only full of copaganda (as its premise) but it has a multi season arc for an autistic character that is important to the plot where his mother (a main character) is desperately trying to cure him a la Autism Speaks. there is not shame in having consumed or enjoyed media with harmful things. but you have to do so with nuance. and you cannot let yourself forget.

returning to the diversity and representation in b99. it is genuinely insidious to normalize members of the communities most historically effected by police brutality and targeted by discriminatory policy as "good cops." yes the writing around these characters is good. and I would argue that in other aspects there is good representation in that show. while the black and POC representation and discussion is also an important related issue, and arguably the more disturbing aspect of this, it is not my place to comment on so I will stick to the queer rep.

Rosa is written in a way that is respectful and is relatable to many bi people. Holt has a nuanced backstory that is not shied away from and his relationship and identity are always respected. Jake is very effectively coded as bi but hasn't realized or accepted yet. and as an autistic person with ADHD, Jake, Holt, Amy, Charles, and Rosa are all well coded and respectfully written neurodiverse characters. and it is difficult to find queer or neurodiverse representation like that. I fully understand that.

but they are cops. queer people (and neurodiverse people) have historically been major targets for cops. we are more likely to die at the hands of a cop than our cishet peers. we are more likely to be hospitalized by them. we are more likely to be arrested on no charge. we are more likely to be set up for things we didn't do. we are more likely to have the book thrown at us when we are innocent and minding our own business. normalizing that cops we deal with can be members of our community our community is legitimately dangerous. LGBT cops are not part of the queer community. they are traitors to their community.

drawing the b99 or any cop real or fictional at pride is horrifying. cops have no place at pride. even off duty. pride is not a party. it is a protest. against cops. it isn't a march for general rights. it is a protest against physical and legal brutality against queer people. it is a memorial to the Stonewall Riot, a response to an act of police brutality against trans women in a queer space. that is why it happens in June. so we do not forget.

b99 is written to make us sympathetic to the emotional nuance and physical danger of being a cop. and for some of y'all that is working. even if you don't think it is. because you are willing to babygirl Terry. you coddle Jakes constant corruption. you will go on at length about the trials holt has faced forgetting that they are because he chose to become part of the system that oppresses him.

there is psychological nuance as to why members of oppressed minorities become cops. of course there is. but there should not be social nuance. all cops are bastards. even fictional cops. even your uncle. because they are participating in and perpetuating a violent bastardized system.

yes, this includes Jake and the rest of the b99. it includes Spencer Reid from criminal minds. it includes Seeley Booth and Temperance Brennan from bones. it includes Sheriff Jack Carter from eureka. Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durand from gravity falls. Olivia Benson from Law and Order. James Gordon from the DC universe. Ranger Walker from Walker Texas Ranger. RoboCop. Rick Grimes from the Walking Dead. chief wiggam from the Simpsons. Joe Swanson from family guy. Inspector Lastraude from every iteration of Sherlock Holmes. arguably Sherlock himself for how often he cooperates with the police. Inspector Gadget. David tennant's broadchurch roll. and every other fictional cop you can think of.

all of them. even the kind ones. even the black ones. and the queer ones. and the disabled ones. even the ones where the media knows they are a bastard. even when they are there to be the butt of the joke. they are all bastards.

and you can watch them. you can read about them. you can even write about them. you can enjoy their media. but you cannot let yourself forget that they are a cop. and that all cops are bastards. because of you forget about one cop being a bastard, that leaves room to sympathize with other cops. and as we all know, even a cop with personal empathy for you is still a cop who will act with violence and corruption without a second thought. and if you forget that in the wrong moment in real life, you or someone else can and will get hurt. physically hurt. mentally hurt. legally hurt. all of the above. sympathy for cops gets minorities killed.

never let yourself forget that.

all cops are bastards.

[thetavolution]

BG3 Tav Backstory Bash by Kelandrin

This is a challenge to help people flesh out their Tav’s backstory by exploring their past. It is organized into four sections with seven prompts. You can treat this as a monthly challenge or a general project. You can write headcanons, fics, or share art based on the prompts! You can interpret the prompts however you want. If you want to share use the tag #bg3backstorybash

I was tagged by NO ONE. I am unstoppable.

Tagging (no pressure!): @tavsboots @whenwindwhispers @himbo-hunter-hadrian @vatyrie-avaris @durgeteriormotives @fainlin @auspex-author

INGRID SULLENBERGER

Deep Gnome — Druid (Circle of the Spores)

Baby:

Parents

Calvin "Sully" Sullenberger: He's an artificer and he works for the Ironhand Gnomes. He doesn't feel that strongly about their mission statement though. He's more self-serving than that. He believes in it, just not enough to die for the cause himself. He prioritizes his own skin first. He loves the fact his current wife hates his ex wife. He enjoys being fought over, even if it hurts his kids in the long run.

Greta Bloodstone: She's Ingrid turned up to 11. She's far more timid and scared, and she gives into her fears. She's the reason Ingrid refuses to let her fear win. She's seen what a doormat it made of her mother. She's a bard who often sings about other people's accolades, except for her own daughter's.

Anna Sullenberger: She's Ingrid's step-mother and Sully's second wife. She never behaved like an actual parent to Ingrid, but she's here on a technicality. Anna is a forest gnome and she hates living in the Underdark. She's convinced she'll change Sully's mind about leaving someday. She tries to use the fact the kids both left as an excuse to move to Baldur's Gate. She's just as self-serving as Sully, she's just more open about it. Anna is a wizard who focuses on illusion.

Birth

Ingrid was born in Silverdale, a deep gnome settlement in the Underdark. It's largely hidden away which is partially why it's still standing.

Greta had a midwife while having Ingrid and it was a traumatic birth. Both survived, but Greta decided she would not have any more children. She felt it would be too dangerous for her. It was a source of contention between her and Sully.

First word / Tantrum / When they first walked / First sickness

Her first word was "Ada." Correct me if I'm wrong, but I do believe that's the gnomish word for dad. That would have been her first word, just for the man to mostly reject her.

Her first tantrum would have been over a lack of attention, most likely.

She started walking at around 10 months old.

Her first sickness was a cold. She was a baby and miserable, but it wasn't life threatening.

Childhood:

Friends

She didn't have a ton of friends growing up, but she did have some. They send letters to one another.

Bimpnottin Cobblegem (she/they): I saw the name Bimpnottin and decided I needed to have someone in Ingrid's life named this. Bimpnottin is a sweetheart, but naive. They've never left their hometown of Silverdale. Bimpnottin also talks very loudly almost all of the time. She comes from a long line of cobblers and she kept up the tradition.

Gerbo Ironfoot (he/him): He was another childhood friend. He was the kid who talked the others into doing stuff. He wasn't a bad kid, just a little rebellious. He's a fisherman these days and he's married to Orla, a tailor, and they have two kids, Roondar and Dimble.

Umber Rivers (they/them): I'll talk about them in a minute. They weren't a friend in the traditional sense. They were a druid water genasi and the reason Ingrid became a druid.

Siblings

Ingrid has one younger half-brother, Sebastian. His other is a forest gnome and so he looks like a forest gnome. No one immediately pegs them as siblings because of it. I'm still fleshing him out. He is either an artificer, like his father, or a wizard who focuses on transmutation.

Getting into trouble

She rarely got into trouble as a kid. Or, at least, for anything she actually did. Anna was hard on her and would get upset with her over small things, like how she cleaned dishes or something of that nature.

Birthday

I've been waffling on exactly when, partially because I keep forgetting the calendar months in DnD/BG3. I'm officially going on record as making it 22 Alturiak. In her original story, she was born on February 22nd.

She would celebrate as a kid, but they would be small occasions with just close friends and her brother.

Games / Learning something new

She played the same games as many other deep gnome children. She did spend a lot of time alone, so she learned to entertain herself a lot.

She likes to learn. As a kid, she would get excited when she had a chance to learn something new. As a baby, she was a lot more afraid of things. It wasn't until she got older that she deliberately started fighting her fears.

Trauma

Oh boy, her parents did a number on her. Her dad was more excited to have two women fight over him than take care of his kids. He allowed Anna to treat the kids as pawns.

She was neglected a lot as a kid. Her parents were way more into their own drama than the kids.

She and Sebastian were pitted against each other. They have no ill will toward each other, but they never had a chance to grow close. Maybe one day they'll change that.

Teenager:

First love

Her first crush was her schoolmate, Alston Garnet (he/him). He was a deep gnome fighter. She didn't know that much about him because it was a pretty innocent teen crush.

I like to use songs as reference points and my first immediate thought was I'm In A Perfect Relationship from Central Park. It's the perfect sum up of how she and Alston felt about each other.

They both think it's really funny now that they're adults. They aren't close, but do consider each other friends.

Alston is now in a relationship with a deep gnome ranger, Orryn Filchbatter (he/him).

Rebellion / Running away

Her fondest memory comes from the one time she ran away. She was probably around 13, just barely a teen. She left home and traveled the Underdark alone when she was discovered by a druid. The druid guided her home and kept her safe. It left a huge impression on her and it's why she's a druid.

The druid who took care of her was Umber Rivers, a nonbinary water genasi who identified with the Circle of Land (Coast). As a kid, Ingrid fantasized about Umber raising her instead of her parents.

Reckless behavior

She wasn't really a reckless kid. She would sometimes get pulled into things by friends (Gerbo specifically) or her parents. This is when she started to experiment with drugs to treat her anxiety. She eventually found the right mix. It only counts as reckless behavior because she had no guidance while doing it as a teenager.

Peer pressure

She would sometimes give into peer pressure. It was never when it came to hurting other people though. Every time she gave into peer pressure, it was usually just stupid teen shenanigans or trying a drink or drug she shouldn't.

Taking responsibility

She was good at taking responsibility for her actions as a teen. Sometimes a little too much where she'd be held responsible for stuff that wasn't even her fault.

She was often treated like an adult by her parents. Parentification led to her taking responsibility for stuff her parents did, too. It didn't help her anxiety.

Adulthood:

Their “first time”

Donella Underhill (she/her) was her first real relationship and the person she shared her first time with. Donella was a deep gnome cleric, but she focused on becoming a merchant. Donella still lives in Silverdale and sells potions. If someone ever goes to Silverdale, they could encounter her as a potion seller.

The first time was awkward, but they learned a lot from each other.

Ingrid and Donella no longer talk.

Serious relationships

Depends on the universe/AU! In BG3/DnD, her first serious relationship was with Donella. They were young and it didn't end well. Neither of them knew how to navigate relationships and Ingrid didn't know how to set boundaries of any kind.

They have no ill will toward each other, but also have no interest in reconnecting. When they first broke up, there was a lot of raw feelings that turned into "hatred" for each other. Once it subsided, they took a much more nuanced view of the failed relationship.

Donella is now married to another deep gnome named Caramip Sparklegem.

Work

She's a druid, but she also works and makes money as a tattoo artist.

In her original universe, she's a human and a tattooist. It's not the career people expect of her. She loves tattoos and she loves drawing, so it made sense.

Leaving home

She was still a teen when she officially left home for good. She figured if she could take care of herself, she could hit the bricks. She wasn't kicked out, she just didn't want to be around her parents anymore.

Aging

She's a deep gnome so she could live to 350 to 500 years. And that's assuming some DnD shenanigans don't prolong or shorten her life somehow.

Most deep gnomes are expected to ease into adult life by 40 and she's only 28.

Staring a family/found family

Minty, Laura, and Bex are her found family. If you have to compare them to anything, I would say sisters or cousins. In BG3, she also considers her companions found family.

Eventually, she might like to settle down and have children with someone. This could be biological or adopted children. She does fear she'll have a similar birth experience as her mother though.

[pxper-cranes]

Meddling Kids Redesigns

It took a while, but I finally finished all four designs of the main gang. There are still some tings I would change if I were to redesign them again, just by seeing all the other ones on tumblr.

I'll do some headcannons here, and maybe draw them again with plot ideas for a fictionalised series I would make with them.

Fist of all, they would start out as high schoolers, then go into univertity after. either way they would all be adults when the film starts

None of these guys are cishet or neurotypical sorry slays but you cant tell me otherwise

Thirdly, these guys are FRIENDS. they CARE about each other. some have been besties for years others were hard and fast ride or dies but they all really care for one another

They would initially start out unmasking people in monster costumes, but there would definitely be an overarching plot that is defiantly supernatural. by midway through season two, the monsters of the week would be real more often than not, and the gang has to turn to more spooky ways of dealing with them

Aight so

FRED

This man HAS to be nice, and reasonably stupid. He was a himbo Blueprint and we must make sure he stays that way

I want to make him into theatre tech and stuff, which he uses to debunk the monsters and point out all the techniques in the 80s horror movies he likes to watch with the gang.

I'd also say he was a prolific camper and scoutgoer as a child, and intends to work as a camp counsellor once he graduates for a little while

because of this hes pretty much a survival expert and gets pretty intense whenever they find themselves in the woods.

while he is strange himself he still is a leader for the group, and plans a lot of their moves on cases.

He and Daphne start the show dating and they are madly in love with each other, and are the bestest of friends. Fred is the more puttogether in the group though, and regularly has to stop daphne from comitting crimes like breaking and entering or simply trying to beat the monster over the head with a bat

DAPHNE

This version of Daphen would just be a pretty unhinged girlboss. she is the part of the gang who is just itching for a fight half the time, so shes been designated team muscle.

Her family is extremely rich, and while they don't really like her pastimes of going out and solving mysteries, but those funds are the thing keeping the gang going, and funding their trips, as well as bail when they get caught investigating some abandoned house or something.

She is really into fashion, specifically 70s style clothes, and spends a lot of time at home making her own clothes and things for others.

alongside that she is really into journalism, so much so that she practically runs the school newsletter when in high school, and runs it through her brilliant people skills. she intends to go to university to do a media and communications degree.

but shes also regularly unhinged and the fisrt one in the gang who would get into a brawl with a monster if given the chance. shes like a black belt in karate at least, and can definitely ride a motorbike.

I think she would encourage Fred's traps in their cases but if she was left alone she would just use a crowbar to solve her problems.

VELMA

This Velma is a todal dork. she is such a nerd its funny, bun in a way ehre the audience laughs with her. let her talk endlessly about her academic interests and cut back to everyone else dumbfounded.

Also my version of Velma isn't mean in any way. While she can be dry, witty or packed with smart comebacks, she is rarely intentionally cruel.

She doesn't believe in the supernatural at the beginning of the series, but she desperately wants to believe in everything. Cryptids, monsters, aliens etc (She was one of the kids that cried when they made Pluto not a planet anymore)

because of her eagerness to investigate she is practically uncarable, and more interested in anything spooky than she is frightful, which could be used for some good gags, especially since she never realises that she is ever out of her element

Velma brings out the nerdier side of all her friends too. she gets Fred talking about traps and survival skills, Daphne on about fashion and law, and Shaggy talking about food and films.

SHAGGY & SCOOB

Scooby doo is Shaggy's assistance dog, and that's how he is allowed to go wherever the gang does.

I've got some lore ideas about how he talks and stuff, which is basically the same as mystery inc plus some inspiration from the Magnus Archives but I'll probably talk about it another time.

I was thinking it might be funny if he talked kinda like puppycat from Bee and Puppycat, but that's just a thought, all I'm going to say is that's not a normal dog.

Shaggy also comes from a wealthier family but nowhere near as rich as Daphne. His parents really tried to shelter him as a kid after something happened in his childhood (IDK what but it was spooky) and ever since he's craved the independence that he gets with the gang

He has been friends with everyone the longest. I assume he went to a summer camp with Fred when they were little, met Velma at some kind of convention and lived close to Daphne.

He has tons of random skills and knowledge about pretty much anything. hes a trivia god and there could e a running gag that he went to a bunch of summer camps too, but for weird and niche things. he's also the kind to binge read wikipedia articles at 3am

I think we would be really into films, specifically horror and pulp films from the 70s - 90s. He probably has an interesting relationship with horror, scaring easily but still doing it for the thrill.

He also implores that in their mysteries, pointing out a bunch of the technical clues with Fred. He probably really likes mystery solving because it gives him that reassurance and control when they finally unmask them. I'm sure he starts to crack a little once they start going up against real monsters.

Hes also a really good cook and makes great playlists.

[daytaker]

What do you rank each obey me character from your favorite to your least?

Oh lord, I've thought about doing this before but it's so hard because it's constantly shifting? Let me seeeeee...

The ultimate ranking I've decided upon is as follows:

Mammon

Satan

Leviathan

Asmodeus

Solomon

Simeon

Lucifer

Barbatos

Luke

Beelzebub

Belphegor

Diavolo

TO BE CLEAR, I like Diavolo. Also, 4-8 are all basically tied. Yes, I put Barbatos in position 8 on purpose, yes, I'm aware that was low-hanging fruit. The whole list is also very fluid. Over the course of playing the games and existing in the fan space, Solomon has been my number 3 and my number 12.

ALSO! A lot of this is just "my opinions based on the vibes I get and nothing else". So please don't take anything too seriously. I'm definitely not claiming to have perfect, inarguable takes.

S Tier

These guys are consistently my Boys, my Faves, the ones I Love. I'd marry Mammon. I'd start a cult with Satan. I'd use phrases like "my little meow meow" in service of explaining my feelings for Levi.

1. Mammon

I mean, whenever I think he's not my favorite, he comes back and reminds me that he is, so I might as well just bow to the inevitable. I love a tsundere himbo. He's funny and cute and he makes my heart do the thing. My stone cold frozen aromantic heart.

2. Satan

Ah, my complex relationship with Satan, who is the worst-developed character in the OG but comes careening back into the running with an excellent display of character development in Nightbringer. Satan, for whom I simp, but who is also my feral child. Satan, who is coded autistic entirely unintentionally but whose attempts at being romantic hit me like bricks to the face and I just want him to please stop trying to be flirty and instead talk to me about cats or science or whatever hyperfixation he happens to be focusing on because it's much more attractive. Satan, who, after overblotting on wrath, just kind of passed out instead of going insane like Mammon and Asmo and everybody because he deals with this shit all day every day anyway. Satan, who deserves to be number one on this list because he occupies so much space in my brain but continues to lose out to Mammon because Mammon's blushing feels more sincere.

3. Leviathan

The unexpected addition to this list. I dunno, he's always growing on me. He's so funny. Possibly the funniest character in the game. I love writing him. He's so cute. He's so cringe. I can relate to one of those things. I don't really have any great reasons why I love him so much. I just do. He's so fun. I love his pets. I love that he got the pet show cancelled by summoning Lotan. I love him in the anime cosplaying as Ruri-chan. Actually, yeah, the anime. He got the best rep in the anime to me because he is so cute and funny in that thing.

A Tier

I love them, I will go to bat for them, I will kiss them, I will bring them their lunch if they forgot it at home, I will sing them lullabies, I will kiss their precious cheeks, but I will not marry them. (Edit: I will not marry them, with the exception of Simeon, who I would absolutely marry if he deigned to ask me.)

4. Asmodeus

He's just a fun guy? He's really sweet and caring and somehow doesn't feel like he's actually hitting on me? I've described him in a DM with someone as "your gay best friend who you make out with sometimes" and I seriously do get platonic vibes from him and I'm here for it. I'm here for platonic makeout sessions. As an aro who likes when fictional boys flirt with me sometimes but not too much, he's a very welcome breath of fresh air because his flirting just doesn't feel like it's aimed at anything? He just likes to call you a cutie pie. And I know that none of that makes sense for a character who is the literal avatar of lust, but I'm talking vibes, not reality.

5. Solomon

Solomon can ride this scale from close to the top to rock bottom to be honest. I did not like him during the recent event (Voyages). He just felt creepy to me. And that's where my problems with Solomon lie for the most part. Much like with the Asmo vibes, he just feels creepy to me. I think he's too openly infatuated and too comfortable with that fact for me? Like slow down my guy, I'm here to be jokingly flirted with not asked to cosign a mortgage. But also the panties came OFF for that confrontation with Belphie in the colosseum so congrats on your new placement as number 5. I like a lot of fandom interpretations of him significantly more than canon ones so when I go back to canon I'm always a little like "eughhh what is this?"

6. Simeon

Okay, here are my reasons. 1) He's the most beautiful character. Nobody else even comes close. Don't ask me why, he just is. 2) Plot things that I haven't even gotten to yet but if you know you know. 3) I I like how nonjudgmental he is about literal demons like he just pops in from Heaven like "let's all be friends". What a chill dude. Bonus 4) Luke's dad.

7. Lucifer

First of all, if he ever genuinely hits on me I'm hitting on HIM with pepper spray. Dad, what the fuck? Second, he just loves his brothers so much and works so hard for them and wants so badly to protect them. I admire that. I do not get any genuine chemistry between him and the main character, though that could be my romance-radar malfunctioning as usual, or even just my taste. "That's my dad, I can't marry my dad."

8. Barbatos

Another character in whom I see no chemistry with the main character, but that's okay and I love him anyway. He's number 8 because he loves being number 8. He's the second-prettiest boy after Simeon in my opinion and I like to imagine him being an absolute menace who never sleeps, never bathes, and never uses the bathroom. He has transcended all that. He is the Time Lord.

B Tier

My beloved babies (and drunk uncle)! I have no romantic interest in any of them whatsoever! One because he's an actual child and the others because I just don't. But I love them and I cherish them and I will bring them their lunches if they forgot them at home just as much as I would for tier A.

9. Luke

Yes, he's whiny. Yes, he's kind of weird to even have in the game let alone the intimacy system. No, I have never and will never call him a Chihuahua. I will beat up his bullies, including Lucifer and Mammon. I will file for joint custody with Simeon. He's so flippin' cute.

10. Beelzebub

Another classic good boy. I love him but I don't really see much in him beyond... being a good boy? He's sweet and I would give him so many hugs and he deserves so much love but I can't get over the idea that that head is empty, there is nothing inside but cheeseburgers. And I kind of love that for him.

11. Belphegor

When I first started the game I thought I'd like him best. Turns out I was wrong. Now, I don't hold it against him that he murdered me. Sometimes a demon has just gotta do what a demon's gotta do. He's a little shit, but he also did that thing in the anime where he's Beel's cheerleader while he fails at a video game? And that moment will forever be enshrined in my heart.

I mean look at him??? Holy shit???? Just seeing this image again makes me want to kick him up to number 6 or something.

12. Diavolo

I love my gay drunk uncle as much as the next person but when your gay drunk uncle sometimes hits on you, it's extremely uncomfortable. I'm not like an active Dialuci shipper but I fully support Diavolo's unapologetic simping for his totally platonic right hand man. And then he wants to get in my pants and it's like having ice water dumped down my shirt.

So there you have it! My little ranking and thoughts on each character. I'm curious whether any of this surprises you?