#i also took some painkillers cos i have a headache starting but i took a few more than recommended but not many no one worry

[cactbi]

i hat emyself so much

[mrwinterr]

Over & Over

Pairing: Pornstar!Bucky Barnes AU x Pornstar!Female Reader

Summary: You’re an up-and-coming adult film star secretly eager to work with the popular Bucky Barnes, and with just the right connections, your paths cross much sooner than later.

Warnings: Adult themes. Smut 18+ (unprotected sex, vaginal penetration and instructional fingering, oral [male & female receiving], size kink, spit & cum play, a smudge of male dominance), dirty talk and language.

Disclaimer: I don’t know how the porn industry works; this was just written for fun.

Title Inspiration: “Over & Over” by Smallpools

A/N: After doping up on strong painkillers wasn’t enough, I thought releasing endorphins would help ease my headache, so once again watching porn inspired another fic. Idk. I’m a mess. Enjoy!

Slipping on your oversized sunglasses, you walk along the rectangular outline of the hotel’s lavish pool, to one of the vacant lounge chairs next to the redheaded goddess, whose wings you were taken under and could gratefully call a close friend. You hadn’t known a single soul when you packed up and moved west to Los Angeles at 18, but you knew you were destined for more than what your humdrum life back at home could offer.

The porn industry wasn’t your first choice at a career in entertainment, but the starving profession wasn’t paying the bills fast enough. You weren’t going to survive in L.A. another year juggling to pay for tuition and stay enrolled in acting school from the income of working menial jobs and booking small gigs. However, one minor role as an extra in a one-night stand sex scene of a TV show, you catch the eye of the multitalented adult film actress Natasha Romanoff.

It was pure coincidence she was also casted, playing a bigger role, of the same episode, but she saw more in you in your less than 15 seconds of fame than most casting agents did before offering you a chance to shadow her. You knew she looked familiar and you were no stranger to watching porn, but when you’re as down on your luck as you were, you went all in and soon enough countless scenes now under your belt within a year, you’re porn’s best female newcomer.

“There’s this year’s Best New Starlet!” Natasha proclaims loudly for almost everyone around to hear.

Lucky for you, the shades conceal the roll of your eyes at her comment as you kick off your flip-flops and remove the thin cover up to reveal your skimpy bikini. You dare look over at her in time to catch her mocking reaction, jaw dropped from your attitude.

“After all I’ve done for you,” she says, placing a hand to her heart, feigning hurt.

The pair of you laugh at your nonsense and after she helps you with applying the appropriate amount of sun care protection, you recline in your seats and attempt to soak up some sun. It was a much-needed break with the long stressful week of the award show now behind everyone. Your hard work had paid off and after all you did learn from the best.

Your predecessor before you, Natasha was also a former Best New Starlet, and now is a household name in pornography. She didn’t welcome a lot of people into her inner circle, but she had plans to one day direct and knew she had to find the next big thing before anyone else to take her place.

“Hello, ladies,” comes from the voice of this year’s Director of the Year and other close friend Wanda Maximoff.

“Hey Wanda,” you greet her by sitting up to give her a proper hug.

You met her through her twin brother, Pietro, who happened to be your first co-star and was very welcoming and caring to you. The twins took care of you during your first few months starting out. Much like Natasha did for you, you help her administer the same amount of sunscreen on her body.

“Congrats on your achievement,” she says wholeheartedly, looking over her shoulder at you as you finish up on her back, and even under the heat of the sun, she could still see the blush creep up on your face.

“She’s a natural, isn’t she?” Natasha comments casually, to which Wanda nods enthusiastically, only speeding up the process of the rose tints on your cheeks to spread all over your face. They were your biggest fans and supporters; you were so happy you could make them proud.

“I owe it all to the queen herself,” you say, downplaying your achievement and turning the attention to your mentor in Natasha. She scoffs at that and teases you about just taking the damn compliment. You put in the work; it was all you.

“Seriously, you deserved it,” Wanda says honestly, and you finally accept the praise.

“So, what’s next for miss Director of the Year?” Natasha asks leaning on a propped elbow, body facing towards you and Wanda.

“Well, I managed to finally book Bucky Barnes in an upcoming project…” she starts out, but the moment you heard his name slip from her lips, the rest almost didn’t matter.

Bucky Barnes was somewhat of a legend. There wasn’t a model or director that didn’t want to work with him. The man was downright gifted in every aspect and his work speaks for itself. Before you broke onto the scene, you’d gotten off to his videos, and only dreamed of one day starring in a scene with him, but you were still new to this world.

As a promising star, you had a long way to go and tons of plots, positions and people to still experience, so landing a role with someone like Bucky Barnes wasn’t entirely written in your plans any time soon. Then again, your first girl-on-girl scene was with your mentor herself, so anything could happen, right?

“I just haven’t found my girl yet,” was the next thing you pick up Wanda say the moment your head comes back from the clouds, “...I have all this momentum now that I want this to blow everyone away, especially Stark.”

Tony Stark was her rival. It was a friendly competition amongst friends. You hadn’t gotten the chance to work for him yet. He was a playful character and had directed some of the best adult films out there, Wanda just happened to be the better of the two this year…

“Sorry, I’m retired,” Natasha reminds her and repositions herself on her back.

“Fuck you,” Wanda says playfully to which Natasha responds with a finger in the air before she clarifies, “I was hinting at this year’s Best New Starlet…” and slyly looking in your directly.

“Me?” You ask incredulously. Your head can’t even start processing that you’re finally getting the opportunity to work with Bucky.

Wanda rolls her eyes at your obliviousness, “no, last year’s Best New Starlet. Hell no! Of course, you!” You respond in the same manner as your mentor, who is more than amused at you also following her lead, and flip Wanda off. Wanda snatches your hand to bring it away from her face, “I’m serious!”

“I-I don’t know, Wan,” a part of you is a little scared that you’re not going to be able to keep up with someone as established and with the star power as Bucky, “...like you said, you have all this momentum behind you. I don’t want to fuck this scene up because I don’t have a lot of experience.”

“Are you fucking kidding?” Natasha pipes up on the other side of you. “This is the perfect role for you!” She sees the questionable look on your face and sighs before explaining. “You’re a fresh face and rising star! People are lining up to book you, Stark included.”

“Nat is right. You’re a hot commodity now! I need someone who is a little inexperienced to mix with someone that is,” Wanda further explains her premise, “let him take the lead, but at your pace. I need it to be raw and passionate. People love that shit!” They were right, he had all the experience, and you were a fresh loveable face. It was the perfect combination.

You remain quiet for several seconds before Natasha rats you out, “and don’t even try to act like you don’t want to work with Barnes. This is your fantasy come to life.” Way to throw you under the bus like that…

There’s no denying your goal to work with him. He’d been in this business much longer than you had, you didn’t think your paths would ever cross on a set, but the opportunity couldn’t have presented itself in a more perfect point in your career.

The room is very pristine. White walls with a king size bed, also adorned in white sheets, fluffy pillows scattered at the top, minimal furniture around to make it look realistic, and the lighting was just right. Wanda had received a hefty budget after her recognition that’s for sure.

“Alright, girly, let’s get you on the bed!” Wanda happily directs.

You nod silently, remove your footwear and plop down on the center of the large mattress. You decide to leave your legs sprawled on one side of your body, settling on a bashful position. It’s not hard for you because although you agreed to do this and have done several scenes, internally, you’re freaking the fuck out. Unbeknownst to you, it’s all part of your charm; the innocence you somehow still radiated was an all too endearing quality and actually sexy.

Even your attire was pretty modest, opting for a more casual look with black leggings and a tight long sleeve that accentuates your figure and shows off the right amount of cleavage. It was something that you could easily wear out in public, which again was a part of your brand in being as natural as possible, but come the right circumstances, when it was time to roll you could turn on the right switch.

“We’ll start off like a typical casting interview before we bring Bucky in and then we’ll go from there. Sounds good?” She runs down the plan with you, fixing a few strands of flyaway hairs on your head before back away from the bed. With a thumbs up and a smile from you, she starts recording.

“Welcome, Best New Starlet of the Year!” Wanda greets from behind the camera.

“Hi,” you politely reply with your signature sweet smile and a wave to the screen.

These scenes start off with a small interview recounting your tale into the porn industry leading up to your recent achievement and even delving a bit into your personal life before the topic changes to your co-star.

“So, how excited are you to work with Bucky today?”

No matter how hard you practiced at keeping a straight poker face, that was something you were unable to master from Natasha, and the blush couldn’t be contained.

Fidgeting at the hem of your top, you open and close your mouth, trying to find the right words. You’re overly flustered at the thought of Bucky and he wasn’t even in front of you yet. You don’t want to sound like a fool and ruin the atmosphere. Wanda mouths words of advice from where she sat in the director’s chair, “be honest.”

“Um, I’m...nervous,” you say truthfully.

“Nervous?” She questions, urging you to elaborate.

“Yeah, he’s Bucky Barnes! He’s hot and he’s got so much experience. I’m kind of scared I’ll be boring,” you finish explaining and hope to God that Natasha doesn’t kill you afterwards, or with that answer let Wanda down, but the smile on her face sends you a wave of assurance.

Maybe you could do this...

Earlier that day, Bucky had already recorded his little opening scene. Wanda had called him to report on set before you were scheduled to arrive.

On the contrary, Bucky was also a tab bit anxious to work with you. He’d seen some of your work and more so heard about your talent from his own best friend, Steve Rogers.

He didn’t deny it, he was very much attracted to you and he wanted a chance to work with you too. Bucky wasn’t a jealous person, which made working in the porn industry easy for him, but when he had to hear Steve recount his scenes with you, he couldn’t help but want to sock his own childhood friend. He didn’t of course, but the rage was evident and his other friend, Sam Wilson, took some sick pleasure in teasing him over it. In fact, the eccentric personality of the trio of friends, decided to tag along with Bucky to introduce himself to you and get under his skin a little more.

“What’s going on in that nasty head of yours?” Sam poked at Bucky as they made their way over to Wanda, who was by the camera setup going over a script with another stagehand. When Bucky doesn’t respond, it provokes Sam even more, “no way, you’re nervous!”

Bucky sighs fed up with dealing with the anxiety brewing ever since he found out he was going to star in this film with you. “Shut the fuck up, will you? Of course, I’m nervous,” he says, trying to remain calm.

“Dude, you’ve slept with some of the hottest people in the world and millions of people have seen you naked. Why is one girl any different?” Sam wonders.

“I don’t know, ok. She just seems so down-to-earth and normal?” Bucky attempts to explain. You were real. His work was just that, it was a work, and he was afraid that it would be different with you. He could say he was almost intimidated by you.

“Yeah, as if I don’t have to hear that enough from Rogers…” Sam chimed in. Steve had nothing but high praise for your performance. In fact, his testimony helped expose you a little further. He was an honorable performer and a respected one, so they took his word on you. “Maybe, I’ll be her next co-star,” and just like that Sam ruined a moment.

“God, I hate you,” was the last thing exchanged between the two friends as they finally reached Wanda. She warned Sam to behave and gave Bucky a quick rundown before instructing him to hop on the bed.

Bucky’s interview starts a little differently than yours. Having already been a more established performer than yourself, no one needed his background story. The only thing Wanda wanted out of him was his plans and opinion on you.

“Well, I don’t know too much about her, personally speaking...but everyone seems to love her,” Bucky’s answer was a bit bland for Wanda.

“She’s a great person to work with,” she comments and that’s a tactic most directors used to get talent to keep talking.

“That’s what Steve keeps saying,” he says with somewhat of an awkward light laugh. He could see Sam facepalming next to Wanda at that lame answer.

“Yeah, you don’t win best female newcomer for nothing,” Wanda points out. If anyone was the lucky one here, it was Bucky. He was climbing up in age and you were the next big thing. You were the real star of this film not Bucky. She was counting more on you to deliver than him.

“That’s right. She’s a very talented performer,” Bucky says, and this small comment opens up a can of worms for Wanda to build up on.

“Oh, so you’ve seen some of her work?” Bam! He was caught.

Bucky’s mouth starts twitching slightly and Wanda and Sam are smirking from their spots as they watch the gears in Bucky’s mind start turning faster trying to think of something. The only piece of advice Wanda gives is “be honest.”

He sighs, the jig was up. Smooth Bucky Barnes was caught red-handed, “yeah, I’ve watched some scenes. I’ve seen her in person a few times too…”

“Wait,” Wanda interrupts him abruptly. She knew you were attracted to Bucky, but never knew of any encounters between you two, “when did you meet her?”

“I haven’t,” Bucky starts, which causes a look of mass confusion on Wanda’s face before he follows up, “formally. I haven’t met her formally, but I’ve seen her at a few parties and at the award show...I was just nervous to walk up to her,” the words just kept flowing out of his mouth and he inwardly cringed at how awkward he might’ve sounded.

Sam was amused by his embarrassment, but Wanda was pleased with this result. Bucky was good at what he did and that included him trying to play it cool, which he did well on screen, sometimes.

“You know she was actually thrilled to find out she would be working with you,” Wanda said, stretching the truth. The truth was, you hadn’t verbally confessed that, at least not yet.

“Really?” Bucky asks all too hopeful, his mood noticeably perking up.

“Yup! Ever since she won Best New Starlet of the Year, people have been lining up to book her, but she chose this project. You were the deal breaker, Barnes,” she fabricated and hoped this all worked out for you two in the end.

“Wow, who would’ve thought this has-been still had it in him?” He jokes at himself. His humility would get the best of him in every situation.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself! You didn’t win Best Male Performer of the Year again for nothing!” Wanda says and then steers the interview to a close.

After wrapping up Bucky’s scene, he’s allowed to stay in another room with a monitor. At first, he thinks it’s to help him prep for the scene, but to his surprise it’s a live feed of your interview and he starts clinging onto your every word. Enthralled by your journey, work ethic and he gets flustered all over again hearing you talk about your equal eagerness to work with him.

“You know, if anyone is the lucky one in this situation, it’s Barnes,” Wanda reminds as your interview comes to an end.

“Right,” you sarcastically remark.

“Are you ready for us to bring Bucky in?” She asks.

“It’s now or never,” you reply. 

You watch the doorknob twist and the door open to slowly reveal Bucky. Where do you even start with him? He just looked like the total package. His gaze immediately on yours. As he makes his way towards the bed you’re still sitting on, when his knee comes in contact to the edge, you maneuver your body in his direction, sit up on your knees to meet him halfway and welcome him in a hug.

“Hi, it’s nice to finally meet you,” he says when you pull apart. The both of you don’t break away completely. Your arms are still wrapped around his neck, his hands placed just above your waist, you can feel his fingers that slipped under the fabric rub your skin.

“It’s nice to meet you,” you respond, giving him a genuine smile and can’t help but stare at his pretty face. You had to remind yourself he’s just another guy, except he wasn’t. You didn’t know how he felt, but you wanted this, wanted him. You also don’t know if you’ll ever work him again after today, so he was going to get the real you.

A small, subtle clearing of someone’s throat shatters the staring contest between you and Bucky causing you both to sheepishly break away from the other, not realizing you’d both allowed dreaded dead airtime to pass by. You scoot over to make room for him next to you on the bed. After he pulls his footwear off, he sits cross legged in front of you, you have one leg tucked in and the other extended in front.

Bucky’s not entirely oblivious. He not only witnessed you backstage reveal you were actually nervous to work with him, he could feel it, so at an attempt to help ease both your nerves, he places a hand on your shin and absentmindedly run his hand up and down the fabric, fingers sometimes stopping to mess with the cuff of your leggings and at the skin of your ankle, while he listened to you speak.

He congratulated you on your achievement as you did with him, both a blushing mess before diving into different topics like traveling and other interests.

Wanda stood proudly behind the camera watching the scene unfold. Everything was so candid and real between you and Bucky, the chemistry was clearly evident, she didn’t foresee there would be much directing on her part today, which was going to make her job easy.

“Wanda said you were excited to work with me,” Bucky teases, wanting to see if what you said was just for the cameras or if it was really true, but also, he found out he liked to see you get all hot and bothered in more than one way.

Your jaw drops and you look directly into the camera, breaking the fourth wall, calling out to Wanda. You playfully chastise and curse at her for revealing your secret. She tells you it was going to come out anyways, and while that was true, you’d hoped it was later and much after you’ve slept with him, hoping it doesn’t ruin the shoot, but Bucky assures you that it’s actually a flattering to hear or in his words, “assuring” for someone like him.

“Are you kidding?” You say, lightly shoving him back, “you’re like a legend! Of course, I was excited! I’m surprised you agreed to work with a rookie like me!” Now that the cat was out of the bag, you might as well own up to your secret.

“Everyone wants to work with you,” he makes clear, leaning in closer. Fuck, he didn’t even need to initiate foreplay because with the way he was looking at you right now, you could come swear you’d come undone for him in an instant.

“Oh really?” You challenge, your body gravitating like a magnet towards his.

“Yup, Steve wouldn’t shut up about you and even Sam said he can’t wait to someday work with you,” he said, voice slowly dropping in decibels and his hands sliding up your thighs.

“Did he?” You ask, but you don’t really care about Sam as your eyes look dead into Bucky’s blue ones, swirling into a darker shade full of deep want and desire.

“Yeah, but let’s see if he still wants to try to outdo me after I’m done with you,” he whispers, finally closing the gap between your lips in a sweet kiss. It was about as sweet as it could last because after just one taste of your lips, he was a starved man, hungry for more. You tried your best to match his pace and the kiss turned sloppy very quick.

You moaned at the pressure of his lips pressed roughly against yours, and you do your best to keep up, but you’re already finding yourself short of breath. However, the more you try to pull back to regain some oxygen, the more he’s unwilling to part as he grasps your face in both hands to keep you still, so you lightly squeeze at his biceps as a warning in hope he gets the message.

Lucky for you, he does and lets up. He’s also noticeably breathless, his warm breath fanning against your kiss-swollen lips, his forehead resting against yours. Bucky’s hands are still on your face.

“Sorry,” he apologizes, and you let out a small chuckle at the sincerity. He was cute.

You take his hands in yours and bring them back down to begin undressing him starting by helping him slip his shirt over his head, the fashionable dog tags around his neck clank as it slaps against his toned chest, you let him keep them on though.

Bucky sits up on his knees as he watches you settle on your stomach, propped up by your elbows, hands getting ready to work on his lower half. He patiently watches as you unbuckle his belt, pop the button of his jeans off, and drag the zipper down.

With his pants hanging loose off his hips, you begin to plant soft kisses along his navel down the defined lines that lead to his cock. Each contact of your lips sends a ghostly tingle and the blood to rush even quicker down his lower region. The imprint of his endowed member doesn’t leave much to your imagination, you can already see the stain where the tip is through his tight boxer briefs. It gives you a little boost of confidence knowing you’d caused this and would get to take care of it.

You hook your fingers into the undergarment and tug them down his muscular thighs. His cock springs out, almost hitting you in the face causing you to jolt back a little and a smile to spread across Bucky’s.

Your clumsiness was also a part of your charm. It wasn’t on purpose, you were still learning after all, and that’s what made it so unique and fun to work with you. Your partners just felt a real, genuine connection, citing it felt less choreographed and of a porno with you.

A little embarrassed about that move, you’d watched what he can do with that cock, but nothing could’ve prepared you for it face-to-face. You don’t waste any time on getting your hands on him and wrap your fingers around his half-hard cock and start pumping him sensually.

He’s hot and soft in your hands before getting gradually heavy. The look in your eyes grows more predatory as you watch him grow and feel him getting harder with each pump causing more and more pre-cum to ooze out. You spread it all over the head of his cock with your thumb then daring to look up at him, hoping he was indeed enjoying your work, before you pucker your lips and kiss at the crown. Bucky curses when he sees your lips shining, coated in his pre-cum, with a string connecting you to his cock.

You gather the fluid up in your hand before spreading it all over his length, when it’s not enough you start not only pumping him faster, but also licking up and down, from the base to the tip, hoping to effectively slick him up. The way your tongue scrapes along over Bucky’s sensitive flesh stirs him up. Your other hand joins in to fondle with his neglected balls, massaging and pulling at them in the right moments, sometimes you travel a little south and take them in your mouth. It all but drives Bucky wild and it’s confirmed with each swear that leaves his mouth.

Bucky wants nothing more than to lodge himself deep in your throat, but he remembers he needs to go at your pace, and once you’re broken in a little more, you could follow his, so he’ll bide his time for now and watch you work.

When you’re ready to take him in, you regain his attention and he watches you slowly take in his inches down your mouth, stopping halfway before your wide-open mouth hollows out. Your full mouth immediately waters around him and it doesn’t take long before you’re a drooling mess all over his cock. You pull back torturously slow, looking back down watching his cock reappear and loving the way it disappears back in, and especially how it feels when it drags through your mouth, taking note of the veins and unique ridges.

“Don’t be like that, doll,” he says, wiping some of the hair away from your face, “come on and show me why they don’t stop talking about you,” he coaxes, now gathering some of your locks in his hand to completely give you both a clear view. He tries his best to not take the lead, but you don’t disappoint as your mouth works faster on him. The gagging and sucking, mixed with Bucky’s moans of pleasure soon become the soundtrack.

You’d gradually take him more and more in, close to deep throating him, and you’re just ready to let up, but he can’t help it and before your last round, he holds your head in place.

“Don’t quit now, baby,” he encourages you, placing his other hand on the back of your head, keeping you still and carefully starts to thrust his hips, urging you to take him all the way, “...that’s it, you can do it, you can take it,” he releases a big sigh feeling the tip of your nose bump his lower abdomen. The moisture builds up in the inner corner of your eyes and you do your best to mind your breathing and not choke.

“Fuck!” He can’t help but shout when he feels your throat contract around him. You just looked so divine, mouth full of his cock. He keeps you there for a few seconds, before releasing his hold, and you immediately pull back, drool dribbles down your chin, and you’re desperate for oxygen to return back into your system. He grabs your face by your chin forcing you to look up at him.

He uses his fingers to scoop up some of the mixed fluids of his arousal and your saliva at your chin before presenting it in front of you. You easily read his mind, look up at him with big, watery eyes, and take his coated digits in your abused mouth sucking the juices clean off him. 

He growls and commends you, “...such a good girl.” When he slips his fingers out of your mouth, a small pop could faintly be heard, he gently yanks at your hair, craning your head back further, it’s almost painful but you don’t care, “do it again,” he demands.

You bite your lip and reposition yourself. Bucky settles in a more comfortable position on his back, completely rid of his pants and underwear, his legs spread open for you to lie between them. Before you get back to the job, you slip your tight top off, all-natural breasts spilling out and on display for him. His cock twitches at the sight and he lets his head fall back when he’s once more fully encased in the warm, wet cavern of your mouth.

When he finally starts begging you to let up, you pull back slowly pumping him and watch his every move, the rise of his chest as it heaves from the activity, the way he runs his hands over his face. He’s absolutely stunned by your performance so far.

“On your back,” he says, and you do as he commands, and forget who is supposed to really be in charge. He yanks your leggings and panties all the way down, chucking them behind him somewhere in the corner of the room.

“You’re so sexy,” he compliments, eyes taking in every inch of your naked body, hands getting their fill. His body dips, lips latching onto your breasts, kissing at the skin and sucking on each nipple before they make their way up the juncture of your neck and claim your lips again.

You feel his tongue run along your bottom lip, and they part to grant him full access. You barely notice how he takes a hold of one of your hands, he pulls his face away to bring the hand in his grasp up to your face, using your fingers to trace the outline of your lips. You see him inaudibly instruct you to open your mouth, you do as you’re told.

“That’s right get those fingers nice and wet,” he coaxes you to suck on your own digits until he deems you ready for the next move. When he finally does pull your fingers out from your mouth, he extends your arm, ghosting them just over your pussy.

“Play with that clit,” he tells you and you don’t need to be told twice. Your pussy was begging for any kind of attention. You let your wet fingers roll over the bundle of nerves, puffs of breath escape your body as you’re finally attending to your own needs.

Bucky sits back and watches you intently, fascinated by your every move. He instructs you to close your eyes and listen to his voice, instructing you to go slow at first, “does that feel good?” the only reply he gets is a fast nod, “yeah? Make yourself feel good...that’s it,” his words only encourage your fingers to soon work faster, “let me hear how good it feels,” he demands, and you moan and whine like the true pornstar you are, your circular motions speed up, the lewd noises egg him on and soon enough he wants a taste.

“Let me help you out,” and you feel the bed shift a bit, “spread those wet lips for me,” he requests. You use both hands to invite him into your wet, glistening hole. You pick your head up to see his face buried between your thighs, you watch just long enough until each broad lick up and down your pussy sends you close to the edge.

He no longer needs the support of your hands, and they find purchase in his dark, fluffy hair as he starts sucking on your clit and tonguing your folds. At first, you’re doing a good job keeping your legs apart to accommodate him, but it gets harder and harder for them to not clamp around his head, with every nudge the tip of his nose makes at your clit and it doesn’t help your case when he inserts a finger inside you. With a good curl, his finger scratches dangerously close to your sweet spot, causing your legs to start quivering.

The sudden hitch in your breathing catches his attention, and Bucky tests the waters more by digging in deeper and curling in further. He notices the increasing agitation and knows he’s found the trigger.

“Bucky,” you whine, hoping he doesn’t push you over just yet. You want to last longer, and so you reluctantly attempt to scoot back further away, but the sudden strong grip  he has around your leg locks you in place. You pick your head back up and find Bucky’s eyes trained on you. You see the stoic look in his eyes laced with determination. Oh no, he wanted you to come now. You feel a hum from his full mouth, only pushing you further.  

“Don’t hold back,” he says against your pussy, “let go,” and the gruff in his voice, vibrating against you, his thick digits still curled deep inside you, you can’t hold back the floodgates from bursting any longer.

He laps up your arousal as you desperately try to regain composure. He really pulled one out of you, proving he was as every bit good as he put out and you’re not even close to the end of this scene.  

“Come here,” he says, getting back on his knees and pulling you up by your arms so you’re in an up-right sitting position once again, but with Bucky still towering over you, “open up.”

You comply and open your mouth wide, tongue out, not understanding his motive, and you’re met with full surprise when he spits in your mouth, a firm grip on your face, he holds you still.

“Don’t swallow,” he gravely warns. You feel and probably look stupid not knowing what he wants you to do with your mouth open wide and full of his spit mingling with your arousal, just trying to keep it all contained. Bucky was testing your patience and obedience and you passed every test so far. You were just the right amount of submissive, absolutely perfect.

You can feel his hard cock pressing up against your sensitive pussy, it slides up between your folds and the base rests on top of your mound. “Drool it out...on my cock,” he instructs. Oh. He guides your gaze down between your bodies, you purse your lips, and both watch as the liquid cascades down onto his erect member. He uses it to lube himself up before he pushes you down to lie flat on your back.

Bucky slowly but easily slips inside your wet channel but notices your slight struggle. He was big, and he gets it. The way your eyes are tightly shut, hands pulling at the sheets, you struggle to breath and your walls cruelly grip him tight. Normally, he’d just pound away until his partner got used to him, but he didn’t want to do that with you. He wanted you to enjoy feeling him.

He tries to help you relax by rubbing your thighs a little with soothing motions, when they fall limp on either side, he leans down, you feel the cool metal of his dog tags against your heated skin, his weight sort of comforting on yours, and arms entrapping your head. He lovingly calls out your name, and your eyes flutter open, your attention refocusing on him.

“We’ll go at your pace, alright?” he assures you. You curse yourself for allowing your heart to swell at his concern, but you nod giving him permission to move slowly. Your whimpers soon transition into pleasurable moans, the more your body begins to adjust to his.

“Damn, you’re so tight. You’ve never been stretched out like this by anyone before have you?” he dares ask, once he sees it’s a safe playing field once more, his hips moving slow, his cock sliding in and out of you. You attempt at a laugh between your ragged breathing and the intense sensation coursing through you.

“No,” you respond and kiss at his chin, the light stubble pricking your soft lips, “you’re so big.” You feel his cock twitch inside and you want to curse yourself again at the comment that unintentionally riles him up because he was nestled close to your spot again. Fuck, he could reach just the right depth in you.

“Fuck, Bucky,” you don’t want to go slow anymore. Fuck Wanda and this movie, you wanted all of Bucky now, “please fuck me,” you resort to begging. He inwardly growls and his hips start snapping forward, thrusts growing hard and uncalculated. You just lie there and allow him to use your pussy for his pleasure.

Bucky’s movements falter a bit in this position, so he steers both your bodies on their sides, still facing each other, he slings your leg high up over his hips, and resumes his task. His cock glides right back in your pussy and the new angle causes you to yelp and walls to clench around him.

“You feel so good,” his voice riddled with so much lust as he brings your body closer to his with a hand behind, full of your plushest asset. Your head rests on the bicep of his other arm that was underneath it.

Bucky’s expressive eyes ask you if you're close, and the more your walls continue to grip him, he starts begging for you to come with him. “I’m gonna cum,” he warns, giving up and letting you take the rest of the lead.

“Yeah?” you huff out, your fingers digging into the side of his hips, “you want to cum inside me?” You know he does; you can feel and see it written all over him, but you want to just poke at him like he had with you, “I want you to...I want all your cum inside me, Bucky,” and you wanted him to cum hard, deep inside, “fill my tight pussy up, please,” you plead.

With one more jab of his hips, your back arches and head is thrown back, you can’t help but let out a scream as your orgasm rips right through you like it’s never before. Bucky’s body on the other hand caves into yours, feeling almost paralyzed as your tight walls hold him in place and all he can do is bury his face into the sweaty skin of your neck.

His mouth hangs open, a plethora of profanities coming out of him, and he waits for his cock to finish spewing ropes of his hot, thick cum into you. Your walls can’t help but to involuntarily contract in small aftershocks, especially when he’s still coming.

Bucky continues to moan as he does as you hoped, he came hard and deep inside you. When you’ve both finally come down from the high, it’s silent, and even though you’d both long forgotten you were on a set with multiple people watching you two, they were also quiet, completely taken back by the performance.

Incoherent cries come out of each of you, when Bucky agonizingly pulls his cock out. For the most part you’re able to keep him inside, but he’d proven to come so much some of it seeps out and runs down in streak fashion along your thigh, staining the bed sheets.

In your last act, as your gazes meet each other again, your fingers dip inside your soaked cunt and coat them. Hypnotized by you, Bucky watches as you greedily suck off his essence from your digits, and you evoke a small hum in his favor at the taste bursting in your mouth.  

Bucky bites at his bottom lip, trying to not lose it again. When your hand disappears, he tenderly wipes the matted hair away from your face, smoothing your hair back before pulling your body close again, swooping your lips for a deep kiss.

“Shit, you’re good,” he admits, when he pulls away, effectively breaking the blissful silence. You bust out in a fit of giggles beside him and it’s the cutest thing he’s ever seen. He’s not sure what he’s feeling, but it’s not something you’re supposed to feel towards your co-star, especially in the porn industry.    

He smiles at you, basking in your afterglow and all he knows is that he wants to feel this high with you over and over, so he decides to risk it all, “I hope this doesn’t ruin the moment, but can I take you out some time?”

You try your best to read him, wondering if he was just still in the heat of the moment. Either he’s really good or he’s being sincere, you can’t tell and you’re hoping you’re not overthinking it, but his eyes, this whole time, were what gave him away. He performed with them and he definitely spoke through them.

Before you could accept and give him a definite answer, you’re both brought back to reality, “we’re still rolling here!” Wanda reminds.

A/N: Thank the pain meds for this. I think I effectively used up my vacation days the right way, won’t you agree? Likes, reblogs and comments/emojis are appreciated! 

[daydreamingatnight209]

Hi everyone! As promised here is the Drunk Reader story! I spent all day writing and finishing this off so I hope you like it!

Hope you are all well!

Feedback is always welcome ✨💕

“Now or Never”

Spencer Reid x Female Reader

Warnings- None - Fluff 💕

———————————————

You loved ladies night. You, Emily, JJ and Penelope definitely knew how to you get your groove on.

Ladies night let you bring your hair down, get yourself dolled up and have one night where you didn’t have to talk about the cases you dealt with on a daily basis or come face to face with the worlds worse criminals.

You could gossip, laugh and dance the night away.

Unfortunately, although you would never admit it you were a little bit of a lightweight. It didn’t matter now much you ate before, it only took a couple of drinks before you became tipsy.

You often had a tendency to over share when you were sober but after a drink or two you went into overdrive and that’s exactly what happened that ladies night.

JJ was the designated driver that night, she had to be up in the morning for Henry so she wasn’t drinking.

Three drinks in you and the night was just beginning.

“So Y/N my lovely anyone special in your life? You haven’t updated us on any dates recently”

Penelope giggled, pointing at you.

She had already asked Emily who insists that she didn’t have time for any man in her life. She was perfectly contempt with Sergio. Her cat.

Sober you was glad ladies night hadn’t happened in awhile because in that time you have suddenly developed feeling for a certain co-worker.

A certain SSA Dr. Spencer Reid.

At first you thought it was a silly crush that you could get over in a couple of weeks. You were wrong, instead of going away the feelings became stronger and you knew it was serious.

You playfully rolled your eyes as the girls stared at you intently.

“Well, there is someone but it’s, it’s nothing”

“Oooh no no, go on!” Emily squeals with JJ laughing beside her. Yet she also was secretly intrigued at who this mystery person could be.

You swayed side to side in your seat and smile lazily.

“Well, he’s tall andddd he’s got really pretty, like really pretty eyes. He’s smart and and he has these super amazing hands”

In normal circumstance the girls would look at you confused and unsure what to say, yet these nights often consist of conversations exactly like this one. They tried to get more details out of you but you didn’t want to talk about boys anymore. You wanted to dance.

You dance and drink the night away but Penelope wasn’t giving up. Drunk or not she wanted to know who this man was that you described as have pretty eyes and nice hands. It took her all night but eventually she got the bottom of the mystery. After begging you all night you finally gave in, the alcohol had took down your guard.

“Fine, fine, fine. It’s Spencerrrr” you slurred, not noticing her shocked expression that had settled on her face.

“But I mean come on! Boy Genius isn’t gonna like someone like me is he. I mean he’s got everything and I’m just me” you lip starts to quiver as your thoughts begin to overwhelm you.

JJ had watched the scene unfold before her and started to put the pieces together. The way you started to sit closer to him on the jet or at the round table. They way you were extra emotional when Spencer would do something risky and how you would catch yourself staring at him longer then normal. It broke her heart to hear her friend say those words, especially when she knew Spencer was already in love with her. He had been since he set his eyes on her. Ironically, Spencer had admitted his love for you the same way you had. You couldn’t make it to Rossi’s for a weekend party, as something had come up with your family. Spencer had a little to much to drink and spilled the beans to her. JJ promised not to say anything but now she knew she had to do something.

—————————

It was 3 in the morning when Spencer got the phone to come and collect you from the bar. JJ said that she had her hand full with Emily and Penelope and that she could use his help. (Yes It was a lie on her part but what he didn’t know couldn’t hurt him)

He couldn’t say no to you so exactly half an hour later he was at your location, witnessing you being held up by JJ and a slightly drunk Emily.

“Spencieeeeee” you cried out, stumbling towards him. He was surprised you managed not to fall over.

He chuckled silently and opened his arms so that he could hold you up. He wrapped his blazer that he shoved on, around you in an attempt to shield you from the cold waiting outside.

You lent into the warmth and let your head rest on his shoulder.

“Come on love, let’s get you home”

“I’m having fun though” you protest.

It took him a solid 10 minutes to get you into the car due to your protests but in the end your energy burst, flamed out and you were complaining that you were tired.

Spencer didn’t want to leave you alone in this state and decided it would be best if he took you to his apartment where he could keep an eye on you.

What happened next, Spencer didn’t even suspect.

After helping you into his apartment, and letting you change into one of his old Cal-Tech T shirts, he finally gets you into bed while he takes the side chair.

“Come cuddle with me” you beg him but he looked hesitant. You were drunk. It didn’t mean anything but he still didn’t want to take advantage. He shook his head and tries to get you to sleep.

He thought he was successful and began to get through spare duvet so he could sleep on the sofa in his living room, until you blurted something out that stopped him in his tracks completely.

“I love you Spencer, but like really really in love with you. Drunk me wants you to know. But shhh can’t tell anyone” you giggle to yourself as you eyes lose the battle to stay open and you drift off to sleep.

Spencer vows that you will both finally have the long awaited sit down about how you both feel when you next awaken.

————————

You couldn’t help but groan as you take in your ridiculously dry mouth and your pounding headache when you wake up the next morning. You never wanted to drink again.

It takes a moment before you take in your surroundings and realise where you are. Spencer’s apartment... in Spencer’s bed.

You shot up immediately and were relieved to see you was still fully clothed.

You sigh, thank the lord. Yet it still didn’t explain how you got here.

You take another moment and that’s when the dread hits and the memories come flooding back.

You told Spencer you loved him ...

Right on cue, the Doctor himself enters the room with some painkillers and a glass of water.

You were grateful, but could sense his nerves.

You could blame what you said on the alcohol and pretend it never happened or you could finally face the music.

It was now or never.

“So about last night...” you trail off refusing to look at him as he sat opposite you.

Spencer didn’t want to tip toe around this any longer. He was tried of all three games and avoidance. He liked you, you liked him. So what was the problem?

“Was it true?” He asks, simply.

You knew he meant business.

“Yes” you mumble.

Spencer breaks into the biggest grin you could possible imagine and you see him visibly relax.

“Then meet me here, at 6pm tomorrow night, the job permitting”

Tag List- @purple-scarf-mistress

[justlostinautumn]

Abandoned 2

Klaus Mikaelson x Fem!Reader:

Part 1

After her friends and boyfriend continuously leave her in danger and abandon every plan she makes for them the Originals slowly mend her breaking heart. The gang’s enemies become her friends with her and they don’t know how to feel about it. The last straw is walking in and seeing her boyfriend cheating on her and she runs to the ones who always care for her. What will the gang do when they lose something irreplaceable?

Y/N’s head was throbbing as she woke up in Damon’s bed. Wait… why am I in Damon’s bed? Where’s Elena? Is Elena okay? She shook her head and tried to piece together everything that happened, she remembered arguing with Damon about Klaus and then something hit her. What hit her? Who hit her? She crawls out of the bed and walks downstairs to see the gang all huddled together discussing something. She gently massaged her temples trying to dull her throbbing head. She pauses as she notes their demeanor they seemed tense and somewhat frustrated, Y/N could see that Elena was back to herself and was sat far too close to Damon and that nagging voice returned to the back of Y/N’s head… the one that sounded oddly like her mother reminding her that she will never be enough. That maybe Damon was cheating on her with Elena, because why wouldn’t he. It’ll always be Elena. The vicious thought passes through her mind, shaking her dispelling the thought she walks into the room. Feeling a little dizzy at the movement making her wonder what really did hit her… a baseball bat?

“Hey, what happened?” Y/N looked around the room and her eyes landed on Tyler who looked sad for her and gave her a weak smile that said everything to her. Even though she wasn’t completely surprised, it still hurt to know that they would do that to her. She took a deep breath preparing for whatever was gonna come her way.

“You passed out,” Caroline said and Y/N looked at Caroline as she rubbed the back of her head and felt a lump. Passed out my ass, that’s a fancy lump for passing out! Y/N thought to herself. What did she expect, the truth for once? That's what she expected… that’s what she does deserve, the truth right?

“Yeah after something heavy hit the back of my head.” Y/N gave them a look indicating that she didn’t believe them and that she wanted the truth. They all looked at one another unsure on what to say.

“Y/N…” Damon started but stopped when Y/N's hardened gaze fell on him, he swallowed and knew that they had messed up royally. But, the biggest question was what’s changed? Why was this time different?

“Don’t try it, tell me who hit me!” The throbbing was getting slightly worse and Y/N was getting more confused and frustrated. She honestly just wanted to go to bed and sleep it off.

“It was Kol!” Elena said and Y/N just frowned at her trying to think what she could have done to infuriate one of her best friends. Also, if Elena was suffering from a werewolf bite maybe she was hallucinating. None of this was making sense, it was just making her headache worse… that pain that makes you want to hit your head against the wall just to see if it would make the pain disappear. That, or throw up… neither a great option.

“He was still mad at me for the baseball bat incident.” Damon walked towards Y/N and she stepped back, something was off she knew he was lying. He was looking just above her head rather than in the eye and Y/N just shook her head and looked at Tyler. That was something she noticed as of late, Damon barely looked her in the eye anymore. None of them did, this was going to end today… she couldn’t keep doing this anymore. Shaking her head made her dizzy and she gripped onto one of the side units until her vision cleared and the room stopped spinning. She can’t keep living like this, when will it stop? When will they stop using her? When she’s dead?

“Ty, what happened?” Y/N looked at the only person she trusted at that moment, she just needed the truth.

“Jeremy hit you over the head to get Klaus’ attention. Klaus came and healed Elena on the condition they told you what happened.” Tyler walked over to Y/N and looked her in the eye, lifting her chin so that she met his eyes, “I didn’t know, I swear.” The burning honesty made her want to cry. Why was he the only one who could be honest to her?

“I believe you, Ty.” Y/N looked at everyone else in the room and Damon was glaring at Tyler and Elena looked like she was about to cry and give her some sob story. Y/N was already exhausted and done with it all.

“Y/N…” Jeremy started and Y/N whirled around and glared at him, gripping Tylers arm for stability. The headache was easing and the dizziness was passing, but quick movements still made her feel a little light headed. But, that was pushed aside because all she can feel currently is an annoyance she’s never felt before.

“No! I understand anything for Elena, but I am tired and my head is killing. I’m going to leave you guys to do whatever. I need a drink!” Y/N shakes her head and pats Tyler’s shoulder as a sign of goodbye he knew well, a talk to you later when I’ve had a moment to think. A moment to accept something she’s known for a while but decided to ignore.

“Y/N are you going to be okay?” She could hear the worry in Tyler’s voice and she looked at him as she rubbed her temple, trying to ease the throbbing. She made note to take some painkillers when she gets a moment, maybe that would be able to help with the throbbing.

“Eventually.” Was all she said and he knew what it meant. Tyler knew it meant she would learn to live with it, learn to be okay again. She was the strongest person he had ever met and she is one of the many reasons he is who he is today. Despite everything that had happened to him and those around him she was the one who helped him deal with everything, even before he knew what he was. Even when he was an asshole to everyone, Y/N was always there no matter what. So, he swore he’d always do the same no matter what.

“Where are you going?” Damon demanded, he almost sounded like he was a caring boyfriend and it made Y/N snort and when she looked at him she could see he was serious. This caused her to laugh bitterly, surprising everyone. She had to take a moment to collect herself before she continued this conversation.

“Why do you care?” Y/N sighed, she couldn’t pretend to be happy that he was showing interest in her when she knew for a fact he only cared because he was scared she was going to tell Klaus they lied to her. What did it matter if they did? It wasn’t the first time and truthfully he couldn’t say it would be the last time either.

“You’re my girlfriend. I love you.” Damon said softly walking up to her and caressed her cheek and Y/N flinched slightly at his touch, she had never done that before and it shocked everyone. Was she scared he was going to hurt her? Damon couldn’t help but think that she was scared he was going to hurt her… had he hurt her? Yes he had. He had done things he promised he never would. He’d used her and abused her love for him, for his and his friends' gain. He’d allowed them all to use her for whatever reason and in some cases even offered her up as a solution.

“Damon, you’re my boyfriend not my father. I am going out for a drink.” She looked him dead in the eye as she spoke to him, something is missing from her eyes and he cannot seem to figure out what it is and it unsettles him. This wasn’t Y/N, this was someone they didn’t know. Where was that spark? Did they dim it so much that it was now lost to them?

“With who?” Damon growled, Y/N was tired of this and her head tilted back as she let out a deep breath looking at the ceiling. Damon could see her frustration and he knew he wasn’t helping the situation but he just couldn’t help it. Y/N never lost her temper and it was clear she was trying not to now.

“I haven’t decided yet.” Y/N shrugged, as much as she wanted to sit and have a drink with the gang she wasn’t sure she could stomach looking at them at this moment. She needs a moment to be alone and come to terms with what just happened and how she felt about it all. She couldn’t do that with them around, breathing down her neck. Why was this too much to ask for? Why did they always need to have total and utter control over her?

“We’ll come with you,” Damon said and Y/N laughed, shaking her head in disbelief. Of course because she needs babysitters!

“No, you won’t. Damon, I’m tired! I don’t want to be around the people who just knocked me out. I need a little time okay?” Y/N tilted her head and looked at Damon, her eyes soft and the small smile she gave him broke his heart. Damon realised she didn’t hate him for what he did, or the decision he made but she needs time to process it all. She’s never asked him to change… she has never asked anything from him other than this. She knew it’d always be Elena and everyone else over her and she’d accepted that but it doesn’t mean she can’t have a moment for herself… a moment to be selfish.

“Okay.” He sighs out knowing it was a losing battle. Y/N phone rings and she sees it on the side and looks at the ID and sees that it’s Klaus and a small smile plays on her lips and she answers it. She felt relief and calm wash over her... was peace. That is exactly what she needed and this is the exact person she wanted to talk too.

Klaus, The Original & Co.:

Once they got back they told them everything, from their little trip to the Salvatore’s Boarding House. There were a lot of comments made about the stupidity of the gang and wondering how long till Y/N finally broke down, they could already see that she was fraying and her patience thinning.

“Who do you think they’ll blame?” Katherine asked as she twirled her hair as she lounged across an armchair, her legs dangling over the arm. She was rather amused thinking about it, Katherine had her money on either Kol or Kai.

“Me?” Klaus asked frowning wondering if she would question them or if she would just believe everything they told them. But, he brushed that thought away quickly when he realised he was being absurd. She knew better than to believe everything they said, plus Tyler would be truthful.

“They wouldn’t dare use you brother considering you healed Elena,” Elijah spoke, patting Klaus on the shoulder, it wouldn’t make sense why he would knock her out just to heal Elena.

“My bet is either Kol or Kai,” Hayley smirked at the two and they both gave her offended looks, chuckled softly and nodded in agreement Katherine.

“What?” Kol shouted.

“Why us?” Kai pouted causing the rest to laugh.

“Because you two have the biggest issues with Damon.” Davina dropped next to Kol and gave him a little peck on the cheek, hugging him tightly.

“I hit him with a baseball bat, so what? He staked me with one!” Kol growled, he was pissed that he would be a patsy. Would Y/N believe it was him? No, she knew he’d never hurt her. They’re best friends, he cares about her.

“She wouldn’t believe them, she knows them better than anyone else and can always tell when they are lying… when any of us are lying.” Freya points out to them with a small shudder going down her spine. It was irey at how good she was at knowing when people lie to her. She never called them out right, she always waited till they were ready to be truthful and she was never mean about it.

“She must be up, right? I want to check on her.” Klaus spoke and they all nodded he put his phone on speaker and let it ring waiting for her to pick up feeling nervous someone else would. What if something really bad happened to her after they left? They should’ve just taken her with them. At least they would know she’s okay… safe.

“Hey, Nik.” Her voice filled the room and they all sighed in relief.

“Little Love you’re okay.” Nik smiled at his phone wondering if she was smiling like he was. If she felt the same calm at the sound of his voice, like he does at the sound of hers.

“As good as I can be, Ty told me what happened. Thank you, Nik.” He could hear her smile and he knew what she meant by what she said and he was grateful that Tyler was there, to be honest with her… at least someone was honest with her other than them. She needs more people like that in life.

“What’s the plan?” He looked at his siblings and friends as he asked the question, wondering if they could do anything for her.

“I’m gonna go for a drink and unwind most probably, then I’m gonna go home.” Rebekah frowned at the phone at the idea of her going home, Y/N had told her that things were getting tense at home at the moment. Rebekah always worried about Y/N and her safety with everyone in her life. How must she be feeling? What must she be thinking? Does she think and feel like she has no one there for her? Because she’s wrong she has all of them… they would always be there for her no matter what.

“Can I come?” Kol asked, smirking. He hadn’t seen Y/N and wanted to check on her. He needed to see her in person, not just hear her voice.

“Sure Kol, on one condition.” They knew she was smirking, enjoying it more than they would ever know.

“What would that be Little One?” Kol smiled, curious and would agree to anything to make her happy, like they all would.

“You bring your brothers apparently I owe them a drink… and Bekah you and I can have a girls day at some point, you can even dress me up if you want.” Y/N laughed through the phone as they all stared at it as the warmth of her laugh washed over them. It was a sound that was so pure and innocent, they loved it so much.

“We will meet you there, Love” Klaus smiled and then hung up his phone. Sighing in relief that he was going to see she’s okay.

“They lied to her,” Elijah said simply, with a frown.

“I didn’t think they’d be forthcoming.” Klaus nodded, with a smirk he knew they’d lie. They always did.

“Then why make that deal with them?” Rebekah was slightly confused, it didn’t make sense to her.

“I wanted to see how scared they are about losing her, telling her the truth would have meant they knew she would forgive them and they wouldn’t have to worry. Lying meant that Damon fears she is going to run and run to us.” Klaus nodded as he got ready to leave, to see his little love.

Y/N & The Gang:

“Seriously?” Elena whined when Y/N finally put the phone down. A small smile on her lips from her conversation with Klaus and co. quickly slipped off her face.

“What?” Y/N looked at her slightly confused by her complaining now. What was her problem now? What was she whining about now?

“Klaus, Kol and Elijah?” Elena bitched and Y/N took a deep breath and looked at her tilting her head and pinching the bridge of her nose. There’s that headache again!

“It should be you buying Klaus a drink, considering he did just save your life. So maybe, just maybe show a little respect and just be grateful.” Y/N was getting more frustrated and the headache was getting worse with Elena’s whining and she started to walk away, she needed space so she could have a chance to clear her head.

“I think you should have some of my blood before you leave Jeremy hit you pretty hard.” Stefan looked at her and she laughed slightly. It was a bitter sound and it took them all by surprise. This was a new side to her, they’d never seen this side of her and they were beginning to worry what it meant for them.

“Thanks, but I think I’ll pass.” Y/N didn’t want them to feel obligated to help her, she knows she most probably should take some but she doesn’t want to owe them anything… if anything they owed her a debt they will never be able to repay. It felt like they were only offering to help to ease their guilt… it was only ever Stefan though. Why… Why was Damon never the one to offer?

Y/N walked out of the Boarding House fed up with the conversation and wanting to be out of there. She could hear the calls of her friends but decided to ignore them and made her way to The Grill. Could she call them friends with the way they treat her?

Y/N & The Originals:

The Grill was mainly empty when she got there and she walked to the bar and saw that Matt was serving. He gave her a soft smile and she nodded back to him, rubbing her temples.

“What can I get you?” Matt asked as he cleaned a glass.

“Vodka.” She said with closed eyes. Not really paying attention to his worried look.

“Hard day?” Matt asked. Y/N knew he already knew what happened at the Boarding House, as much as Matt says he wants no involvement she knows he knows everything. He always knew, it was like a moth to a flame hard to resist.

“I don’t want to talk about it. I want to drink in peace.” She gave him a look that he knew not to mess with. Y/N rarely got angry or annoyed at any of them, so the dark look she gave him made Matt freeze before he went and got her a drink. Without question or pause.

Y/N heard the door open and she looked over her shoulder to see Klaus, Kol and Elijah walk in and she couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face. She was greeted with a warm smile from Elijah and smirks from Klaus and Kol. A calm settled and the throbbing of her head seems to disappear and it’s soothing.

“Thought you might need this.” Klaus pulled a vial of blood from his pocket, she knew it was his. She was going to refuse, but she knew she wasn’t going to be able to get out of it.

“Thank you.” She gave him a quick hug before uncorking it and drinking it down, feeling the throbbing in her head start to disappear. She knew better than trying to say she’ll take it later, it’d never worked.

“Who did they blame?” Kol held out his hand to help her off the stool so they could sit in a booth. He had a smirk on his lips but Y/N could see the worry in his eyes.

“You.” She smirked at him and laughed at his horrified face. She knew why he was worried. It was a worry he’d confessed to her once when he was drunk. The fear she would see him for the monster he is and so many other people believe him to be and decide she would never want to be around him ever again.

“You didn’t believe them?” Kol tilted his head down and a frown formed, Y/N was sat opposite him with Klaus next to her and Elijah next to Kol. He didn’t see the sadness that washed over her features at the thought.

“No, Kol I know you’d never hurt me.” Y/N reached across and gave his hand a light squeeze and a tender smile drawing a soft smile from him. A smile that made them all smile. It was a beautifully calm moment that allowed her to relax.

“You’re okay right?” Klaus was worried and Y/N couldn’t help but lean into his side and warmth. It soothed them both being close to one another. They knew the other was safe and protected.

“I’m fine, Nik.” She sighed, Klaus knew she was holding back and wanted her to tell him. He wanted to demand her to tell him, but that would never work and would only drive her away from him and into their arms. So, he would wait for her.

“Little One, Rebekah is excited for your little dress up, but I worry Katherine, Hayley, Freya and Davina feel a little neglected,” Elijah smirks at Y/N who rolls her eyes and chuckles, a crooked smile on her lips.

“Marcel and Kai are also feeling a little left out.” Kol laughs and Y/N shakes her head and looks at Klaus who is smirking down at her, she couldn’t contain her beaming smile.

“Seriously, are you all always this needy?” She asks Klaus with a smile on her lips and nothing but fondness in her eyes. They knew she loved them all no matter what and they couldn’t help but all laugh. It felt nice to be wanted. It was nice for people to crave her attention for anything other than bait or to be used.

“When it comes to you… yes.” Klaus laughs hugging her close to him. They all join in and Y/N wraps her arm around his waist in comfort and absorbs his warmth and smell.

The Gang:

They had decided to come to the Grill to make sure she was okay and what she was saying to the Original. Tyler had told them he wanted no part in spying on one of their friends, so he opted to go home and work off some steam from the whole day. He was honouring Y/N’s wishes as he always was. He was sure she wouldn’t mind him joining, but he wanted it to be her choice.

When they walked in they saw Y/N in a booth with three of the Originals and Damon couldn’t help but feel pissed at the fact that Klaus had an arm wrapped around Y/N shoulders. They choose to sit in a booth close but not too close that it would be obvious. Matt had been the one to tell them when she got there and when the Originals had arrived. He was keeping an eye on them, so he could report to the gang.

“What do we do?” Elena hissed, displeased that Y/N was cosy with the enemy. She hated this, what was so great about Y/N anyway?

“We watch,” Stefan says simply and Elena frowns at him not liking his answer. They had to do something. She was surrounded by the enemy and smiling about it.

“We can’t just storm over there considering what you guys did to her.” Enzo looked pissed, he knew Damon was reckless and was willing to protect the ones he loves but risking Y/N wasn’t something he thought he’d do again after the last time. Wasn’t Y/N someone he loved? Tyler was the one to tell him what happened.

“We could,” Damon spoke, not taking his eyes off his girlfriend. He didn’t like this, she was his no one else could have her.

“She asked for space and instead of giving it to her you come here and stalk her?” Enzo raised a brow at his friend who looked over at him and glared. Enzo hated how his friend was acting and treating that sweet girl.

“She is fraternising with the enemy!” Elena whined and Enzo looked at her with a look of disgust confused by what she had that made Damon act the way he did. He couldn’t see it. But, to each their own.

“She deserves space, plus they would never hurt her.” Caroline looked at the group. They knew she was right, Y/N never asked for anything and they didn’t respect this wish.

“Klaus gave her a vial of her blood to heal her,” Matt informed them as he passed out their drinks and food. They all looked at him and then back to the booth with their friend. She refused theirs but accepted Klaus! Why? Enzo smirked because he knew they were thinking. He’d witnessed Klaus forcing her to heal with his blood; it made him chuckle at the memory.

Y/N & The Originals:

Klaus and Y/N were listening to Elijah and Kol tell tales from different times, Klaus interrupting to correct facts or to defend his decisions made. She loved these simple moments, it brought her the warmth she missed. Y/N laughed and smiled but she couldn’t shake the feeling that she was being watched.

“What’s wrong?” Klaus frowns as he notices her shift uncomfortably, “Do you need more blood?” He was worried she was still hurting and it made her heart stutter at how much he cares about her.

“No. It’s nothing. I’m just tired.” She smiles at him and he shakes his head not believing her. He knows something is bothering her.

“I know you better than that, Little Love.” He leaned against the table watching her, Kol and Elijah leaned in to look her over and make sure she was okay. She looked around the bar and spotted the gang and something in her started to build and she couldn’t pinpoint what it was, when she looked back at Matt she noticed he was watching and hovering close by too. It started to bubble over, it was anger and annoyance.

“Anyone would think I’m about to die or something with the way I’m being watched.” She knew the gang heard her because they looked away. Klaus looked around the room and knew straight away what was happening. He stiffened and frowned before looking back and seeing her annoyance and tried to lighten her mood.

“Didn’t ask for the guard dogs?” Klaus smirked, he could see her frustration and he wanted nothing to make them disappear but knew it would upset her more. He just wanted her to smile and laugh again, she deserves to be happy.

“Nope.” she drowns her drink, for the first time they see something dark in her eyes and worry fills them. Y/N nodded to Klaus that she wanted out of the booth and he slipped out letting her stand, he was hesitant he didn’t like that look on her.

“Where are you going Love?” Klaus frowned, taking her hand in his. Stopping her from running without answers.

“Home.” she sighs and Klaus looks worried. It broke her heart when he looked at her like that, but she couldn’t burden him with this. Looking at Kol and Elijah they were wearing similar looks and she wanted to reassure them, but she isn’t sure she had it in her right now. She wasn’t going to lie to them and say everything is fine when she doesn’t even know how she feels.

“Are you sure, I’m sure Rebekah would love your company… actually any of us would.” He gave her a devilish smile, he saw her eyes lighten and she smiled at him. She wanted to say yes, but knew better then to… she just wanted to go home.

“Maybe another time Nik.” She laughs as she pats his chest walking past waving at her intrusive friends as she leaves. The gang had the grace to look ashamed and Klaus, Kol and Elijah throw them dirty looks before they get up and walk out of The Grill before they do something they may regret. This was not how they imagined their evening with Y/N was gonna go.

Tags:

@badwolf-winchester, @yolobloggers, @mydelusionalworld-7 , @mylovehes, @wolfprincess114, @cinthias-corner, @annievvv7, @anyasthoughts, @twilight-loveer, @supermassiveblackhope, @a-dorky-book-keeper, @daphnen21

[propertyofwicked]

Could you do an a-z for dating dean please? I loved tom’s! 😍

i really enjoy writing these :) ive got a george one requested so i will be doing that later. hope you enjoy this one anon :)

a - argue

like the mature adults you guys are, any argument results in silent treatment till one of you realises your fault and apologises. sometimes it takes other people to point out your mistakes, but in the end you would talk it out, make compromises and understand your differences. a little goes along way with you and dean.

b - body (his favourite body part of yours)

dean likes your hands. he likes how they move to cup his face when you kiss, he likes how your fingers move effortlessly across your keyboard when you’re typing, he likes how they wrap around things ;) he likes how they fit perfectly in his and he likes how they run over the surface of his back.

c - care (caring for each other when you’re sick)

you both spend a lot of time away from each other, as he is away filming a lot and you are at uni or doing coursework. when you do get to spend time together and it happens that someone is ill, you’re still going to spend as much time together as physically possible. you’ll spend the day in bed, wrapped up warm. If you’re ill, dean wants to treat you like a queen. under no circumstances are you to leave the bed, unless it’s for the toilet, and even then, he keeps an eye on you to make sure you don’t pass out on the way. he’ll cook you food and bring you painkillers as often as needed. when he’s ill, you’ll do mostly the same, perhaps try and move him to the sofa or go for a walk for some fresh air.

d - dates (what do you guys do?)

to the start of your relationship, dean preferred to take you on high key fancy restaurants, but once you were comfortable settled together you’d go on cafe dates in-between lectures or just stay home and watch movies with some takeaway food.

e - engagements (how he proposed) 

dean had taken you to venice for your birthday, and spent the entire week spoiling you,as he usually would much to your protests. on the last night before you flew home, you went for dinner and on the way home, he took you to a cute little bridge, tucked away from the main town. whilst you were distracted by the stars appearing in the orange sky, he got down on one near and called out your name to gain your attention.

f - friends and family (do they like you/him?)

his parents loved you. his mum and you often cooked together whenever you visited for dinner, or you and his dad would talk about politics or the football. His little sister liked having a female around that was closer to her age, you were more of her friend than her sister-in-law. your parents liked dean, he was the most respectable boy you’d ever dated and they could see how happy he made you. out of each of your friendship groups, you both were the longest to be single, so your friends were just happy to see you not crying over some failed fling.

g - gifts

as dean was away for filming a lot, he often wanted to remind you of how much he loved you by getting flowers delivered to your house and when he was done filming, he’d sometimes brought back bits of set or props that he thought you would like. being a broke student meant that sometimes the only gift you could send would be some lovely photos specially for him ;)

h - how you met

often, your uni would use it’s rooms to host interviews for press tours, or q&a halls. the uni offered pay for a group of people to set up the rooms and pack up at the end so you volunteered. tt was here you ran into george and dean as it was a 1917 q&a. they were lost so you helped direct them to the room they needed to be in. dean actively stalked you down after the interview and asked if you’d want to go for coffee with him and you hit it off from there.

i - intimacy (how often are yall getting down)

whenever, wherever. he’s down. the amount of time you spend apart just builds up your need to be together, so you grasp at any chance you can to be physically intimate with one another. it’s when you’re bored of a tv program, or he’s wearing a suit, you get the gist.

j - jealousy

you get fairly jealous as dean works around and with a lot of people you believe to be better, prettier, that yourself. as much as dean reassures you, you can’t help yourself from wondering if he’d ever leave you for one of the actress he work with. dean doesn’t tend to be massively jealous, but the more time he spends away from you, the more jealous he gets. he fears that you will find someone who can be in your life more permanently and physically than he can.

k - kinks

dean likes edging/control. he loves to see you struggle to contain your release until he says so, and he loves to take you beyond the point of pleasure till you’re literally begging to cum.

l - long distance

with dean working away so much, long distance gets hard. Sometimes he manages to come home for the weekend, but he could be gone for 3 months at a time. every night, you facetime or call each other whilst just going about your daily routine together, as if he was there. just hearing each others voices daily was enough to keep you going till you saw each other again.

m - moving in

there was never really a point where you moved in with him. your stuff just started manifesting it’s way into his house, to the extent you’d spend ages searching your room for it only to realise you’d left it at dean’s. once you were going into your second year at university, you’d been with dean for almost a year and he just kind of suggested that you live with him to avoiding massive bills for uni halls, but everyone knew it was a ploy to be able to spend more time with you.

n - nights out

as a student, nights out were key to social engagements. so, your group of uni friends and their partners would head out to a local pub and spend the evening chatting drinking or playing darts. you’d both stumble home at the early hours and wake up several hours later with a pounding hangover.

o - open with each other

whilst he was away, it was hard to be fully open with each other, knowing that anything bothering you would just upset each other further as you couldn’t be with each other at the time. once he was home, however, it was easy to spend hours wrapped up together talking about anything that was on your mind.

p - pda

neither of you are particularly into massive displays due to the public eye being on you more often than not, but a simple hand hold or peck didn’t go amiss. dean preferred to save all of his affection for home, where he could properly show you how much you meant to him.

q - questions (what you talk about late at night?)

let’s be honest, you would go into any massively deep conversation it’d be more along the lines of “how was your day? what did you do?  did I ever tell you about the time that...” but it was the small moment s like that that counted.

r - reproduction (do you want kids?)

not at this point in time, as it is the start of your careers and you’re both pretty young but you had discussed it a little. if it was to happen by surprise, you’d both embrace it but one day down the line you fully plan to have atleast a child if not more.

s - surprising (what surprised you about him)

the simplicity of his happiness. it doesn’t take much to make dean smile, or let out a little laugh but every time he did you feel a surge of happiness rush through yourself. to see him happy made you happy, so you’d strive to do that as much as humanly possible.

t - together (what you do together)

you guys like watching movies, which isnt surprising given the nature of deans job. you also like to spend quite a lot of time in the bedroom ;)

u - under the influence (drunk vibes)

it was rather common that you’d be out separately, you out with uni mates or him with co stars. drunk calls were the best, both of you becoming the funniest people alive whilst intoxicated. when he chose to stay home and you’d make you way back, fumbling to get the keys in the lock subsequently waking him up, he’d come to you and put you in bed. he’d make sure there was a glass of water and painkillers and a bowl near your head. you’d do the same, but drunk dean is flirty dean and whilst you were trying to change him into sleepable clothing, he’d make comments like “at least by me dinner first”

v - vacations

a lot of your holidays were spent on set with him, but sometimes you’d go abroad to malta or somewhere remote. you preferred quiet, adventure holidays than expensive beach holidays.

w - wedding

you had the cutest wedding ever. it was in this converted barn, with both your families and friends attending and the reception was basically a massive party in very fitting taste for you and dean.

x - xray (when he’s hurt)

dean injured himself on set of 1917, where he slipped down a trench and twisted his ankle fairly bad. because of it, he was sent home for two weeks to recuperate, where you literally tended to his every need. you brought him food, drink, medication and care to the point where he literally had to make you spend time on your other work rather than him for some time. normally it would just end in you falling asleep, cuddling on the sofa, in your living room.

y - you (a random headcanon) 

you’d had a long and bad day at uni, so you came home stressed out of your mind, muscled tensed and a pounding headache. the moment you stepped foot into the flat, you bag dropped to the floor and shoes kicked to the side, you walked into the living room where dean looked up at you and sent you a small smile. he noticed the fatigue in your eyes and posture, moving to pat his lap for you to sit on. You found your way onto his lap, legs wrapping around his waist as he moved to lay down. you hands moved under his back to hold him properly and one of his arms snaked around your waist, the other moving to brush a hand through your hair. his head lifted up slightly to press a kiss onto the top of your head.

“bad day?”

“very. but it’s slightly better now.”

“you’re very welcome babygirl”

z - zzzzzzzzzzzz’s (sleeping routine)

dean would be in bed before you every night without fail as you’d be sat doing coursework till late. but he always stayed awake till you made your way into the room and held out his arms for you to climb into and rest your head on his chest. his hands would go straight to your hair and brush through them softly, lulling you into a deep sleep that he too would fall into soon after you.

[julesthequirky]

Falling For The Sheriff

Summary:  Your car breaks down just outside a small southern town, and the first person to your ‘rescue’ is no one other than the Sheriff of the town, Dean Winchester. 

Chapter One

Damn, all you could get on the radio was country. Country, country and more country. You slapped your hand on the dial, turning it off. You turned up your air con. Christ was it hot in this backwater hick town.

That was the moment your car decided to splutter and choke.

“Oh no. Please, not now. Not now.”

Your car died and you groaned. Trust you to be stuck in the middle of some outback tiny town.

“Shit.”

Your hands smacked your wheel and you swung the car door wide enough for it to break off from the hinges. You stepped out into the sweltering heat.

Christ. You felt your forehead bead with sweat. You checked your phone. Ugh it wasn’t even three. You went to lift the top of your car, but your fingers burned on the black metal. You cried out in pain, snatching your hands, curling them to your body.

You kicked your car.

“Stupid piece of shi-”

“Help you, ma’am?”

You jumped and whirled around in the middle of a paddy, now looking like a deer in headlights.

The man standing before you stood in front of a black ‘69 Chevy Impala. He wore a stark white shirt with the sleeves rolled up and black pants. His outfit complete with bolo tie, tan cowboy boots and a Stetson.

He was a young good-looking man.

“My car just quit on me.”

“I’ll have Bobby take a look at it.”

His voice was deep with that distinctive southern drawl.

“Oh, uh, thanks.”

“You’re not from around here, are you?”

“My accent give it away?”

“All right, little miss, no need for the sarcasm. Or I’ll have you for sass talking the Sheriff.”

He was the Sheriff?!!!

SHIT!!

“Are you really the Sheriff?” You went around to the back of your car and popped the trunk. You pulled out your suitcase, the weight almost pulling you down with it.

You looked at the man and he had his badge out. Ah shit.

“That real enough for ya?”

You nodded.

“Come on, I’ll take you to the inn, Jodie loves new faces.”

You pulled your suitcase not five steps and the handle broke.

“You kidding me?! Stupid shit!”

You went to kick it, but the Sheriff got there before you, picking up the case.

“Woah, woah now. Don’t want any injuries before you get rested. Plus, I’m the one that’s gotta write it up.”

“I got a case of the bad luck.”

“Well, now that last case of bad luck bought you here, to Creedence Creek, Texas.”

He stepped forward and grabbed the handle attached to your case and picked it up, carrying it with ease to his car. He popped the trunk, then placed it inside.

“C’mon on, you don’t wanna die of thirst out here do ya?”

You shook your head.

“No, sir.”

He went around to the passenger side door and opened it for you.

“Is being chivalrous, necessary?” You asked getting in.

“No, but it’s how many of us are raised. It’s a way of life.”

Oh. Now you felt like an ass and felt you had insulted him. He closed the passenger side door and made his way to the driver’s side. He slid in and pulled his phone out, making a call.

“Bobby! Hey, how ya doin’?”

You couldn’t hear the other side.

“I’m good, n’aw Bobs, I can’t tonight, got a ton of work waitin’ me for me back at the office. Raincheck on them drinks, alright. Alright. Listen, I got a car, just a little way’s out of town. Black, small, city car y’know the kind. Massachusetts plate, number beginning 429, yeah, you’ll know when ya see it. Great. Awesome. Thanks, I owe you one, Bobby.”

He hung up and started the engine, then drove off.

“I didn’t get your name back there, Miss.”

“I didn’t get yours either.”

He gave a small laugh.

“Alright, formally I’m known as Sheriff Winchester, but everybody in town knows me as Dean.”

Sheriff Dean Winchester. It had a nice ring to it.

“What about you?”

“Y/N. Not Sheriff, from Boston.”

“Ah a city gal. The locals are gunna love you.”

You snorted. That was an understatement, if you ever knew one. In the backwater town that was Creedence Creek, they would have a whale of a time telling you that your wat wasn’t the way things go around here. And you knew it. Southerners didn’t really mix with northern city goers. Or city goers in general.

“Will my car be okay?”

“It’ll be fine, ain’t nobody gonna take it if that’s what you’re worried about.”

It had crossed your mind and you definitely didn’t feel safe leaving it behind.

“If it’ll make you feel any better, I’ll have Bobby give you a call, I’m sure your number is tied to the plate. May I ask what you were doin’ down here? I mean to say, we don’t get a lot of city goers, that is.”

You had been looking at the scenery on the way into town.

“I had to bail out my mom.”

You didn’t want to say any more than that. Telling him a tiny snippet of the truth was more than enough.

“So, you grew up in Texas?”

You nodded. It would be best not to divulge any more family trauma. Not right now. The quicker you got home, the quicker you could forget ever coming down here.

“Alright, not much of a talker, I see. Well, we’ll be arriving shortly.”

He didn’t say anything more, to which you were grateful.

He slowed as he turned a corner. It was like the town had appeared out of nowhere. A blink and you’d miss it, kind of thing. Shops lined the main parade, with roads and paths leading away. He turned another corner and another, then entered a lot and parked in front of the sign which read Sheriff. Up ahead was the police station.

“I won’t be long. I just gotta send Bobby the number.”

You nodded.

“You can get out and stretch your legs if you like.”

You opened the door, taking him up on his offer. Opening the door had been a mistake. It was hotter than hell.

“If you come in, I can get you some water.”

You nodded.

“Thanks.”

You followed him in.

His co-workers turned as he walked in, then noticed you. You hoped to God they wouldn’t ‘recognise’ you. It wasn’t like your rap sheet was a mile long, it contained mainly a few misdemeanours, to which you had paid your fines and done the community service that was asked, but the biggie was when you had been caught with a tiny baggie which turned out to be cocaine.

You had thought your own mother would have bailed you out. No. Instead she left you to suffer the consequences she should have had. It had almost cost you your career and the ability to move out of state, but through a stroke of luck they believed in second chances and took you on.

“What did we tell you about picking up pretty strays, boss?”

“Working whilst you’re working, Winchester?”

You gave the Sheriff an odd look. Was it normal for him to pick up potential dates whilst out on patrol?

“Can it. Get her a drink of water from the cooler. She’s dyin’ of thirst,” He turned to you and gestured for you to follow. “This way.”

He walked through the tiny precinct to a little office in the corner.

“It ain’t much but it’s mine.”

You sat, waiting for him to transfer the necessary information to Bobby.

“You like it here?”

He looked up from his computer at you.

“I’m very happy here.”

He turned his attention back to his screen and whistled. Crap.

“Oofta, jaywalking, possession of marijuana, drunk and disorderly, and possession of cocaine.”

“Jesus, look, I served my time and the misdemeanours are about to come off my record anyway.”

“That felony will be on there for some time, little lady.”

You rolled your eyes at him. You could thank your mom for that.

“Whatever just send him my number and plate info. The quicker my car is fixed, the quicker I can leave this shitpot town.”

You stood up and walked out, ignoring the officer who had water in a plastic cup for you.

“I hate small towns.”

You felt too close to home. Too close for your liking. Sure, Texas was big but adding a few more states in between was preferable.  

Now outside, you looked to the trunk of the Impala. Later, right now you needed space. He already had the wrong idea about you and didn’t need him sticking his oar in where it didn’t belong. You had no idea what this Jodie person looked like, nor where the inn was. With the sun beating on you hard, you made a temporary shade with your hand and walked back into the parade.

You only managed a couple minutes before the black Impala slowed beside you and a window rolled down.

“Get in the car, you’ll die of friggin’ heatstroke out here.”

You kept on walking.

“Sheriff’s orders. Don’t make me arrest you.”

“You’d love that wouldn’t you.”

He sighed and stopped the car. Stepping out he made his way to you. He no longer had his Stetson on, but his brown hair was teased into a simple style, a hair barely out of place. Without the hat, the sun did a number on his green eyes and making them shine just as bright as emeralds.

“I won’t ask, and we can both forget this whole encounter when you leave. I’ll take you to Jodie’s, she’s expectin’ you. Also, rude, what you said abou’ my town. Don’t do that again, ‘kay?”

“Fine.”

He opened the door for you, and you got in. Once inside, he handed you the clear plastic container with water in.

“Heatstroke is no joke. It gets hot out here and if you don’t watch yourself you can get seriously dehydrated.”

You snorted, a Sheriff dedicated to his people and those just passing through, it was unreal.

“I look after my people, even fancy city folk who aren’t my people.”

You took the cup and drank. The liquid was cool and easily slid down your dry throat, though you suspected it had warmed up slightly. Secretly you were grateful, as you had felt he beginnings of a headache coming on. Hopefully at the inn, you could get settled and take a painkiller or two to stave it off altogether.

“There’s a town BBQ tonight, everyone is welcome. You should join, say hi to a few folks. They love new faces.”

The idea of free food was appealing.

“Plenty of food and plenty of beer.”

“You gonna order me to go?”

“No, no. That would be an abuse of power.”

“Right.”

“Well it’ll be at Oakwood’s Park, if you’re interested, at 5:30 ‘til late.”

You nodded and then placed the plastic cup in the holder, wondering how long the drive was to the inn. It was getting real awkward.

The car turned a corner and you met with a beautiful and large cabin. The awning read Jodie’s. Thank God. He turned into a parking spot and cut the engine. You got out, as did he and went to the trunk. He gestured at you to go to the front door, as he pulled your case out.

“Sheriff? What can I do for you?”

You gave an awkward smile.

“Oooh a new face, come on, lets get you in and get you an iced tea.”

Oh dear. You grimaced. Iced tea was not for you.

“Water’s fine.”

“Well come on in, I’m Jodie, owner of Jodie’s and I see you met our lovely Sheriff,” She leaned in as you walked. “Don’t you think the Sheriff is one fine man? Plus, I think he’s got a eye on you.”

Probably because you were still a felon in his eyes, but you didn’t say that out loud. Didn’t need the whole town knowing everything about you.

“Uhuh.”

Small towns were not your thing.

Sheriff Winchester placed your case down beside you before hugging Jodie.

“Well, I’ll leave you to it, it was nice seeing you Jodes, but I gotta shoot, get back to the office.”

“Aw, youre not gonna stay for an iced tea? Never mind, we can have a good catchup at the BBQ tonight.”

“Can’t, sorry Jodes, you know how it is, got paperwork pilin’ high. It’s gonna be a late one for me, ‘m afraid.”

“Well, we’ll save you a burger or two.”

“Appreciate it, thanks.”

He turned to you and said bye, then left.

Jodie took you under her wing and set you up with a room for the night. You thanked her and lugged your suitcase to your allocated room. After unlocking and setting your case to the side you had a quick rummage through your purse to see if you had any painkillers. Downing two you then laid on the bed and let the heat from the sun lull you into sleep.

@dean-winchesters-bacon @missjenniferb

[brajeshupadhyay]

Emma Allenby was studying for A-levels when she developed a headache that just wouldn’t go away Emma Allenby was studying for A-levels when she developed a headache that just wouldn’t go away. Initially, she blamed the 30-second bursts of intense pain flashing through the top of her head — something she had never experienced before — on revision-related stress. But then one morning, three weeks after the first bout of pain, it became a debilitating, chronic headache. ‘The pain was so bad it woke me up,’ recalls Emma, now 24, from Loughborough, Leics, who works in sales and marketing. ‘It had moved from 30-second flashes of intense pain to constant pain — and it hasn’t gone away since.’ Six years on, Emma is still suffering, and despite numerous treatments, tests and investigations, no one can yet explain what is causing her headache. ‘I was 18 when it began and everything came to a halt,’ she says. ‘Constant debilitating pain interfered with every aspect of my life. ‘I didn’t take my A-levels, I stopped going out and I was miserable. I took it out on my parents, though I know they understood why. ‘I tried the usual treatments, including paracetamol and ibuprofen. And when they didn’t work I was prescribed stronger painkillers, such as co-codamol, but nothing touched the pain. ‘After 72 hours without sleep from the pain, I was catatonic. Mum took me back to the GP and I passed out after a blood test, going face down on the floor and smashing a tooth. I came round to a massive surge of pain in my head. ‘My tooth got fixed, but the headache continued as it is now; constant, seven-out-of-ten pain which doesn’t change with environment or food.’ Emma’s chronic or long-term headache is not too unusual, according to Dr Joe Guadagno, a consultant neurologist at Newcastle upon Tyne NHS Foundation Trust. ‘Permanent headaches are surprisingly common, both recurring and constant, and are often without diagnosis, which makes treating them challenging — especially since the constant use of painkillers can have side-effects such as overuse actually perpetuating the pain.’ The National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) said earlier this month that paracetamol and ibuprofen should not be prescribed for chronic pain because they can potentially ‘cause more harm than good’. Emma continued trying every possible treatment, including acupuncture, to try to relieve the pain, to no avail [File photo] Instead, it recommends exercise, therapy, acupuncture and antidepressants for the estimated half of the population who are affected by chronic pain — that is, pain that lasts for three to six months or more. After painkillers failed to alleviate Emma’s headache, she was sent for MRI and brain scans to see if there was a more sinister cause. Dr Guadagno recommends anyone who has a progressive or persistent headache to seek medical attention to rule out serious underlying health problems. ‘New headaches in anyone over 50, and sudden-onset headaches where the pain reaches maximum intensity within five minutes and is associated with symptoms such as sudden or progressively weak arms and legs, fever or confusion, should be checked out,’ he says. ‘There is no specific “brain tumour” headache, but at any age, any progressive or persistent headache, or headache that has changed dramatically over time, usually warrants a brain scan.’ When Emma’s scans came back clear, there was a sigh of relief — but doctors then suggested her headaches might be psychological.  ‘This left me questioning everything and whether my body was playing tricks on me,’ says Emma. ‘One of my biggest fears was that I wouldn’t be believed.’ Her parents, both pharmaceutical research scientists, were determined to get to the bottom of the problem and had Emma referred to a private neurologist in Birmingham. ‘We tried less widely known medicines and methods in an attempt to provide relief quickly so I could sit my A-levels, go to university and get back to a normal life,’ recalls Emma. ‘I was prescribed steroids to reduce inflammation, sodium valproate — which is usually used to treat epilepsy and bipolar disorder, but can occasionally be used to prevent migraine headaches — as well as sleeping tablets, as exhaustion meant I didn’t know who or where I was. ‘But finally the consultant admitted defeat, with no idea what was causing my headaches. I was just left to live with the problem.’ By 2015, a year after the headache started, nothing had changed. A blood test with an endocrinologist — a hormone specialist — revealed that Emma’s levels of the stress hormone cortisol, which can be a marker for pain, were ‘through the roof’, proving to doctors that her intense pain was real. Emma continued trying every possible treatment, including acupuncture, to try to relieve the pain, to no avail.  ‘It left me feeling hopeless,’ she says. Unable to sit her A-levels or continue with normal life, she could only watch as friends left home, headed for university and started new jobs — her younger brother Ben, now 22, among them. ‘There was an underlying jealousy that I don’t like to admit,’ she says. ‘Being an older sibling, I always thought I would experience those things first, but instead I spent most of my days at home on the sofa, unable to move. ‘The lack of sleep was almost harder to conquer than the headaches. Before, I’d been a social butterfly, but now I felt like a burden, going out for only an hour before I was exhausted. ‘Concentrating on anything rather than pain was difficult, and I often switched off. Even having conversations or the attention to watch a TV show was difficult, and I lost some friends. ‘I’d hear myself sounding fed up and miserable and think: “What happened to the bubbly, vibrant girl I used to be?” ’ A breakthrough came four years ago when Emma was referred for cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), a talking therapy to help manage problems by changing the way you think and behave, which is recommended by NICE for chronic pain. While she wasn’t able to offer Emma a ‘cure’, Dr Beverley David, a clinical psychologist, helped her to find coping strategies and deal with the depression that was exacerbating the pain. ‘Beverley helped me realise I could find a way through this,’ says Emma. ‘I was sad and angry, grieving for a life I’d lost but also so fed up with myself.’ Veg patch medicine: The health wonders that lie in your larder This week: Onions for hay fever and allergies Onions are rich in quercetin, a plant chemical that has been shown in laboratory and animal studies to dampen the production of histamine Onions are rich in quercetin, a plant chemical that has been shown in laboratory and animal studies to dampen the production of histamine — the chemical that produces allergy symptoms such as itchy eyes and a runny nose.  A couple of small human studies, including one in the journal Allergology International in 2009, showed that when people with hay fever were given quercetin in supplement form (100-300mg a day) they had reduced eye and nasal symptoms. A medium onion contains 22-52mg of quercetin. While more research is required, eating more onions can’t harm you if you have seasonal allergies.  Sautéeing and baking don’t reduce quercetin, but boiling leaches it into the surrounding water.  Possibly the biggest step was accepting that her headache might never go away and learning to live well with it. ‘Beverley taught me to change the way I think and behave, and tricks to reset my body clock which helped me sleep better,’ says Emma. ‘Sleep deprivation spoils everything. I hated what I’d become and felt I was letting people down. She showed me that I could let this illness strengthen my character.’ After a year under Dr David’s care, Emma decided she wanted to train to be a counsellor (while she continues to work in sales and marketing). ‘I wanted to help make a difference to other people, listening and believing anyone who has been judged over the years for battling with something that no one can see or understand,’ says Emma. Dr David, who now works in Ontario, Canada, says: ‘Working with unexplained physical symptoms can bring extra challenges. Our understanding around mental health is increasing, helping to better support holistic health. Cognitive behavioural therapy helps to reveal links between symptoms, worries and feelings and how to manage them.’ Despite six years of constant pain, Emma’s life is now moving on positively — she is thoroughly enjoying life with her boyfriend, Elliot, 24, a project manager for a bespoke kitchen company whom she met through a dating app, and with her family and friends. ‘If I woke up tomorrow and the headache was gone, I don’t know how long it would take me to believe it,’ she says.  ‘But I can’t put my life on hold waiting for that to happen. All the good things in my life now are more important to me than a sore head, even one that has lasted for six years. ‘I couldn’t be happier with how far I’ve come, but it certainly hasn’t been easy. Living with chronic pain isn’t the end — it’s what you make of it.’ The post Thought your headache was unbearable? Emma’s had one for six years appeared first on Shri Times News. from WordPress https://ift.tt/2Ycoqex

http://sansaartimes.blogspot.com/2020/08/thought-your-headache-was-unbearable.html

[curedofheadaches]

My mission with this blog…

To bring awareness to a grossly underestimated cause of headaches: caffeine.

To get to the bottom of why doctors don’t appear to know this.

Most of all: To help those plagued with headaches. 

I need your help…

          If you are a headache sufferer, you can help me test my caffeine-cause theory, possibly curing yourself of headaches, by participating in my experiment, and then simply describing your results here in my comment box. If I gather evidence from others that this works, then my argument will be stronger and I will be able to get more attention from the medical world. 

          Because migraines are closely associated with epilepsy, I certainly wonder if this would apply to those with epilepsy as well, and I would like to hear your experiences too as it relates to elimination of caffeine from the diet.

         The experiment…

          I need headache volunteers, who have a caffeine habit to any degree, to try a caffeine-free diet for two months, and report back to me as to whether or not you are having fewer headaches, if they are less painful, shorter in duration, or require less to no drug intervention. Every bit of caffeine must go: coffee, tea, sodas and energy drinks with caffeine, chocolate , or any other product with caffeine. This includes many of the very drugs that doctors prescribe for headaches, as well as many of the over-the-counter remedies. You must clean your system of caffeine for several months before you can tell if it will work for you. 

          Considering the pain you are in with headaches, this is not a hard thing to do. However, I have met many stubborn headache sufferers who refuse to try the caffeine-free diet and would prefer to have a sickening headache. You don’t have to cut out coffee or tea. You just have to switch to decaf. Switching to decaf products, is easy to do taste-wise, but could make your head ache from withdrawal, so do it slowly and in increments. I talk about it in my story  below.

So, please read about my own 27-year odyssey with headaches, and then leave your comments or questions below. Please write as much detail about your headache journey as you wish and be sure to include your experiences with doctors. I am especially interested in knowing how they communicate with a patient on a first visit.  

My own history of migraine headaches…

           For 27 years, my life was plagued by right-sided migraine headaches. They started when I was 22 and lasted until I was 49, when I figured out what was causing them.  In that time, I was prescribed a wide variety of powerful drugs that wasted my body, affected everything major aspect of my life, including possibly the loss of a pregnancy as well as my marriage and may have contributed to long-lasting health issues such as dry macular degeneration.

          Cafergot, Fiorecet, Fiorinal, Esgic, Midrin, Atenolol, Topamax, Elavil, a wide assortment of triptans, Tylenol with Codeine, Demerol, marijuana, botox, Excedrin and Depakote are the drugs I tried along my 27-year migraine headache journey. Some of these were prophylactic stabs in the dark at prevention, none of which worked. Many of them are painkillers that seemed to aggravate the problem and I would cycle through them, hoping for better results. Some of them are the big guns drugs that stop the headaches, but leave you wasted in their wake.

          The ergotamines were the old-fashioned drugs that worked as vessel-clampers. They worked, but they were dangerous. The first time a doctor prescribed cafergot to me, he prescribed a dose that was way too strong for my 100 pound body. I ended up unable to open my arms and legs to get out of a fetal position. My muscles became locked from lack of blood flow. It also made me vomit. For days afterward, I had rebound headaches. In the weeks to follow, I went through black out periods after taking too much of the drug again.  Working out the dosage so that I took just enough to kill the headache, but not so much that it made me sick or caused black outs, was tricky but once I worked out a good dosage and timing of that dosage, I was able to better control the migraines to keep them from escalating out of control. Cafergot suppositories became my crutch, the item I never left home without, for years. Then, the triptans became the popular migraine drug as Cafergot disappeared from the market due to safety concerns.

          The beginning of the end of my headaches came in 2008, when I was co-authoring a blog.  In a post one day, I mentioned that I had migraines.  Two of the readers of our blog commented on the post, telling me that the only way they had gotten rid of their own migraines was to eliminate caffeine completely from their diet.  

           At the time, I didn’t believe that I consumed enough caffeine to make a difference. In fact, no doctor I had ever seen about it, thought it could be problematic. Surely, they would know. They were even prescribing caffeine and telling me to try a cup of coffee at the onset. In theory, that might work since coffee is a vasoconstrictor which might help to shrink the swollen blood vessels in your head. I know now, that it doesn’t work and serves to aggravate the problem if you already have a caffeine habit. At the time, I thought my headache  attacks would have been much worse without the caffeine. 

           I was in the habit of having one cup of coffee in the morning that was made of half-strength caffeine (half-caf).  Then, I would have a glass of iced tea for lunch, and sometimes, as a chocoholic, chocolate in the evening. Adhering to my reader’s advice, I decided to wean myself off of a caffeine habit that I had had my entire adult life except when I was pregnant, during which time I did not drink caffeine and during which time I, incidentally, did not have headaches.  My doctors told me at the time, that the lack of headache was due to hormones and the miracle of pregnancy.  

           I first reduced my cup of half-caf in the morning to quarter-caf.  The day after I began this reduction, I had a nasty withdrawal headache that lasted a week and required drug intervention of Frova.  The following week, when I switched to full decaf in the morning, again I had a headache for a week.  Next came the tea.  I also reduced it to half twice, with an extended headache resulting each time.  At that point, there was no doubt in my mind as to how profoundly the small amounts of caffeine were affecting me.  The last to go was chocolate and again, a headache.  Once my system was clean, I was completely cured of migraine headaches, or at least had learned exactly how to control them. I have not taken a single drug for a  headache since. It has been 12 years.

           To test my caffeine theory, I have experimented with adding caffeine back to my diet in small amounts.  I can tolerate one dose of caffeine in the form of coffee or chocolate if, I do not consume it again the following day to set up a cycle of need.  I have tested this many many times. Now, when I do get a caffeine headache, I as able to ride out the attack without intervention of drugs, because I don’t further aggravate the migraine by adding the caffeine fuel to the headache fire. They do not get bad enough to bother me to the point I would waste my body with drugs like the triptans. 

           Through the course of my life with migraines, I have tried just about every remedy known to the neurological world.  I have spent thousands upon thousands of dollars on doctors, therapists, drugs, MRI’s, botox injections, biofeedback, and on insurance rates inflated because of my pre-existing condition. I have lost countless work hours and feel it drastically affected what would have otherwise been the most productive years of my life.  There was even a time when I considered applying for disability. To have altered my body’s chemistry with harsh drugs for 27 years could well have the long-term affect of shortening my life span and could possibly have caused my dry macular degeneration (no family history and “vascular condition” is a risk factor).  All of this, because I did not know that what was causing my headaches all along, in the smallest amounts, was the common substance, caffeine. 

           In those 27 years, each time I have been to a doctor about my headaches, I have been routinely questioned about my caffeine intake, but I was never once told that I should eliminate caffeine completely from my diet. It would seem that the doctors were looking for abuse of caffeine, and were not concerned about moderate use. Quite the contrary, I have been prescribed the very drugs with caffeine, that I know now, perpetuated my headaches.  These include Fiorinal, Esgic, and Cafergot, and over-the-counter medications that contain caffeine.  I am amazed that the complete cessation of caffeine consumption is not a routine part of headache treatment practiced by every doctor in this country.  Why, indeed, do doctors prescribe medications with caffeine?  Why do drugmakers produce it without warnings. Whenever a patient presents with chronic headache complaint, doctors should automatically ask if the patient has any caffeine habit. If so, they should eliminate it completely from their diet for two months to see if it works.

Misconception or fraud?

           And why is this unknown to the medical world?  After I cured myself of headaches, I went to see my neurologist one  last time to tell him that I thought I had discovered what had been causing them all along. He didn’t believe me, doubting that it could be true, and questioning whether it would last.

           Furthermore, I have never found any literature stating that all headache sufferers should cease all use of caffeine. In reading the National Headache Foundation site for instance, there is no mention of this.  To the contrary, the site lists ‘Excedrin Migraine’ as its first over-the-counter medication.  Excedrin Migraine has caffeine.  

           I am alarmed by the ignorance of the medical field with regard to the perils of caffeine for sufferers who already have a seamingly benign caffeine habit. How can an average person like me know this, but the nuerological field is ignorant to it? Is it negligence on the part of researchers and educators? Or worse—fraud? Malpractice? Consider the careers that are built on headache treatments. Consider the money that millions pay. Consider the loss of productivity and quality of life. Consider other people who might be plagued for 27 years like me.

Please write to me...

Again, please tell me your story in my comment section. If you would prefer to email me directly, my address is: lbtowers@aol.com. Many thanks, in advance, for your help to solve this mystery!

Lisa

[gold-from-straw]

Backstage of the Universe - final chapter!

A chapter of just fluffy fluff!! Lots of cuddles, and Mona turns into a duckling ^_^ Thank you guys for supporting this, I hope you enjoyed it! Especially @flightinflame who should be basically listed as co-creator because she came up with so many of the plot points and cheered me on endlessly <3!!

Read from the beginning on Ao3 if you like ^_^

“Would you have let him do it?” Raven asked softly. “If it hadn’t, well…” she gestured at Charles, lying still between them. “Would you have felt differently?”

She and Erik sat across from each other, holding a vigil over Charles’ still form. Hank and Wakti had both checked him over and assured them that he was simply exhausted, but Erik couldn’t leave his side. He kept remembering Charles’ face as the power tore him apart, the way the strange patterns in his eyes had seemed to tear, rend themselves apart and colour his whole eye black.

He was quiet for a long time. Raven shifted in her seat, but held her tongue.

“No,” he said at last. “I wouldn’t.”

“He could have taken away so much bad from the world. People like--”

“Don’t,” Erik said sharply.

“Sorry,” she murmured, her head dropping. She leaned forward and took Charles’ hand, and he knew she’d leave it there if he didn’t say any more, respecting his privacy in this.

Erik cleared his throat. “It’s got to be free will,” he said. “I’m not naive, you know that. I don’t believe in the inherent goodness of people. But I also don’t…” He took a deep breath and rubbed his face. “I don’t know how to explain it,” he said, frustrated. “It just doesn’t count if people don’t choose to do the right thing by themselves.”

“There’d be a lot less pain if people were forced to do the right thing, though,” she said wryly.

He snorted. “Yes, because they would all be Charles. Everyone in the world would be Charles Xavier. Does that seem right to you?”

She frowned down at her hands.

“This world is cruel and fucked up, because some people see no consequences for acting horribly. But it is our world. We have the freedom to choose. That’s what happens. If Charles were to take away our free will, it would be a different world, one occupied only by a single man’s mind, making puppets of us all. And I love Charles. I…” He swallowed and clenched his hands into fists. “I love him more than anything else. But he’s not God, and he shouldn’t have to be.”

Raven looked up at him, her amber eyes soft and shimmering in the low light. “Yeah,” she said quietly. “Yeah, I see what you mean.” She smiled suddenly. “Charles always did think he knew best, it was only a matter of time before he started playing God, really.”

Erik didn’t smile back, choosing to watch Charles’ face as he frowned in his sleep.

“So what now?” Raven asked. “I suppose we just go on as we always have.”

“The children won’t be getting any more impulses from the Universe. Not until they’re adults in any case, which I appreciate isn’t that long for Martin. I suppose Charles will want to restart the school. And the world will go on pretty much as it was, with people choosing good and evil as they always have.” He gave her a sharp grin. “Although certain people might find their hearts aren’t as strong as they were. The Universe said something about Charles holding their lives in his hand for long enough that it affected their bodies.”

Raven snorted and shook her head. “Only my brother would try to take over the world to make people be nice to each other.” She stood and stretched. “I’m going to turn in. I’ll leave you to watch him in his sleep like a creeper.”

“Goodnight, Raven,” Erik smirked.

“‘Night, Erik.”

As the door shut behind her, Erik shifted closer to Charles’ bed, linking their fingers together, bringing his hand up to his mouth to kiss. The shadows on the wall moved slowly, and Erik seemed to slip into a dream without closing his eyes, the world turning beneath him, and the balance in his soul leaning further towards serenity, towards acceptance, than Erik had ever felt.

It might have been hours before he felt Charles’ hand tense beneath his, before his body shifted and his face contort into a grimace. “Erik?” said Charles softly, pressing his hand to his eye socket.

“Charles,” said Erik, startling out of his meditative state and reaching out to caress Charles’ cheek. “Stay still, Hank said you’d have a terrible headache when you woke up.”

He reached over to the drawers to fetch the telepath-grade painkillers - now that Charles was properly conscious and feeling pain, it was leaking out around his shields, throbbing in Erik’s temples in a ghost of what Charles must have been feeling. Erik lifted him gently, supporting his shoulders while he drank down the pills with a glass of water.

Erik smiled at him as he slumped back onto the pillows, unable to contain the sheer relief and joy at seeing Charles awake again.

“I’m sorry, my friend,” Charles said, peering at him out of one eye, the other pinched shut. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Erik kissed him on his forehead, his temples, his dry, cracked lips. “I would rather be fighting at your side and afraid, than away from you and ignorant of your pain.”

Charles closed his eyes and turned away. “I don’t know how you can even stand to be near me,” he said, the tremor in his voice poorly hidden. “I tried to… I tried to take over everything. I did take over everything. I nearly killed… so many people.”

“Yes, it’s terrible, you’re stealing my world domination role,” Erik quipped.

Charles didn’t reply. Their bond was tightly shut, or would have been if the pain of Charles’ migraine wasn’t piercing holes all over his shields. Erik could feel Charles’ shame and self-loathing seeping out of the gaps. “Charles,” he said softly, taking his hand.

Charles turned back to him, wiping the tears that escaped. “I’m so sorry, Erik.”

“Do you know what I saw, when you took over the universe?” Erik said, kissing the back of his hand. “I saw such incredible power and conviction, and all you wanted was to bring goodness to people, to take away their pain. But that’s not your job.”

Charles had given up on stemming his tears. He pressed his face to the pillow, gripping hard to Erik’s hand as though afraid he’d be taken away.

“Anyway,” Erik said, combing his fingers through Charles’ hair. “You’re needed right here. We’re back to seven children again, and although they still have their powers, they won’t be receiving instructions from the Universe until they’re adults. We also have a comatose young man who is apparently dreaming an entire world into being, and that world would like him back - Wakti Wapnasi has an idea for bringing Francis into Wendimoor where he will… what was it again? Oh, where he will ‘reign for a thousand years of peace’.”

Charles tugged Erik close enough to kiss him properly, lips parting gently around each other in the quiet of the night. “And are those the only reasons I’m needed here?” he asked.

“Fishing, are we?” Erik grinned. He stroked Charles’ cheekbone with his thumb. He bit his lip and took a leap of faith. “I think, now, that we do want the same things,” he said. “And I still want you by my side. Always.”

Charles smiled and pulled him close. “Then you’d better stay with me.”

When Erik next woke, curled up next to Charles on the narrow bed, it was to Vogel and Mona rushing into the room. “Charles! Charles, you’re awake!”

“Shhh, I am, but Erik’s… oh. Never mind,” Charles sighed, and kissed Erik’s forehead as he stretched.

Erik sat up and slipped off the bed onto the chair so Charles could shift himself upright. Mona was sitting in Charles’ lap talking at high speed about how a hole had formed right in the fabric of space and time in their living room, and dumped Bart, Vogel and Martin on the carpet at Raven’s feet.

Erik turned to see Bart standing in the doorway, her head low, kicking at the doorjamb with the toe of her shoe. His heart twinged.

Go talk to her, Charles said in his mind.

Erik looked up. Charles had two small children snuggled up against him, Dirk was just starting to look like he might be about to climb onto the bed too, and Erik smiled fondly. Are you sure you’re OK with all of them?

I think I’ll be fine, Charles said wryly. Cuddled to within an inch of my life, poor me.

Erik chuckled as Mona beckoned Dirk up onto the bed and turned into a rabbit to make space. Vogel shrieked and picked the rabbit up. “Mona, you’re so soft! I wanna put you on my head, be my hat!”

“Oh, goodness, Vogel, don’t do that, if she falls she’ll be hurt,” Charles said.

Mona simply turned into a fluffy Davy Crockett hat.

“Yes, I suppose that’s fine,” Charles sighed, and put his arm around Dirk, who’d tucked himself close against Charles’ chest.

Erik shook his head and walked over to Bart, feeling almost as awkward as she looked. “Are you OK?” he asked at last.

Bart shrugged.

“Did he hurt you?”

Bart glanced up at him, then shook her head. “He smacked Martin, though,” she mumbled. “I told him not to, but…” She shrugged again.

Erik clenched and unclenched his fists then dropped to his knee. “Bart, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I did. I was scared, but that’s no excuse - I shouldn’t have reacted like that.”

“So… you don’t wanna send me away?” she asked in a very small voice.

“No, I don’t. I’m so sorry, Bart.”

She stared down at her feet, her riotous hair covering her face. “I don’t… I didn’t.” She cleared her throat. “I didn’t know you wouldn’t… like it. I’m sorry. I’d’a tried to fight the Universe if I’d known.”

“Bart,” he said, his voice hoarse, and reached for her hand. It was so small in his own, her fingers delicate and fine-boned, but rough with violence. They froze on the precipice for a moment, then Bart launched herself into his arms, pressing her face into the crook of his neck and trembling with the strength of all her repressed emotions. Erik hugged her tightly to him, kissing her temple. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t understand, and I’m so sorry I didn’t try harder. I’ll do better… please give me another chance?”

“I’ll always give you another chance, Mr Erik,” Bart sniffled. “You’re the best.”

Erik closed his eyes and didn’t bother to pretend he wasn’t crying.

***

Raven looked up from the book she was reading to Gripps as the rest of them trooped into the kitchen. She burst into laughter.

“What?” Erik frowned. He shifted to adjust Bart, who was really just a little bit too heavy and a big bit too tall to be carried on his hip, but exceptions just had to be made sometimes.

“You two,” Raven grinned. She nudged Hank, who was cooking and reading a journal at the same time. “Look at these two actual dads and their four baby ducklings.”

Erik blinked at her. He looked down at Charles, who had Dirk and Vogel on his lap, Mona draped over his neck as a scarf - she turned into a duckling and sat on Charles’ shoulder with a little peep noise. Charles looked back up at Erik, his mind shocked into blankness.

“Awesome! Can you be our dads? Please?” Vogel begged, jumping up and down on Charles’ leg. Duckling Mona peeped indignantly and slipped onto Charles’ lap, where Dirk caught her and petted her head gently.

Charles lips twitched, and that was it for Erik. He burst out laughing, barely able to hold Bart on his hip. She grinned and slipped down to stand as Erik leant on Charles’ old wheelchair, still slightly hysterical.

“Calm down, Daddy,” Mona said, turning into a child again and patting his back.

Erik picked her up and spun her around so she shrieked. “Oh, Daddy, is it? And what are you going to call Charles, then?”

“Dad! Dad! Dad!” Vogel yelped.

Charles rolled his eyes and grabbed him to hold him still, but Erik could see the blush forming across his cheeks as he glanced up at Erik. “I suppose you’re going to have to stick around for the long term, then.”

Erik bent down and kissed Charles softly. “That was the general idea.”

“What happened to ‘peace was never an option’?”

Erik smiled and brushed his thumb along Charles’ cheekbone. “You have a habit of changing my plans, Charles.”

Charles smiled and leaned his forehead against Erik’s, and through their bond he felt the warm, soft glow of love, spreading out across their family. Three teenage boys, two eight-year-olds, a five year old shapeshifter and a five year old chaos monger. A blue furry uncle, a blue scaly aunt, and two idiot men who’d taken over a decade to admit that their love for each other was strong enough to keep them together through anything that the universe could throw at them.

Tagging everyone who interacted with last chapter - thank you so much!! @fullmetalcarer, @akasanata, @bbareilles, @misti0usly, @galaxyrise489, @butterflywithwritersblock <3

[softjeon]

Speed Lane | Pt. 14

• Pairing: Yoongi x Jimin • Genre: Angst | Racer!AU ( → Gifset Trailer) • Words: 7,9k | Co-Writer: Cat @cassiavioletblue • Disclaimer: mentioning of alcohol / drugs / violence / smut / abuse / graphic content

↳ There he was. In midst of his workplace, standing straight, sunglasses on his face, nose a bit too high, with an attitude as if he owned that place. The rage was welling all the way up inside of him, so quickly that the wrench cluttered from his hand. The boy turned around at the sound and they stared at each other, just like they did in the night of the race.

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The rain slowed to a light drizzle, but the wind continued to howl around him. He was freezing, wrapping his arms tight around himself to keep warm. Jimin had no home anymore and no matter what he tried, there was nowhere he could go. Jimin wasn’t sure where he was going, all he knew was that he couldn’t stop. He needed to find something where he could sleep.

His credit card got declined right away and he had barely ten bucks in his pocket. All his tries to get a hotel had failed and he couldn’t call a friend, because his father had taken his phone away. There was nothing, so Jimin had to get used to the idea of spending the night outside. With the bag around his shoulder, Jimin walked along, stumbling through the alleys of the city. When it was getting colder, he quickly hid in a corner and looked through the bag, searching for something that he could wear and kept him warm a little more. Getting out a sweater, he pulled it over his head quickly, before he went along. Not long after Jimin luckily found a little kiosk, where he bought himself a coffee to keep himself warm and some little snacks. He hadn’t eaten all day and the headache was killing him. Jimin felt absolutely horrible. His limbs were hurting with every step, the bruises starting to hurt, since the painkiller he took this morning lost its effect and he had none with him. Leaning against a wall, Jimin took a shuddering breath, trying to keep himself from crying but it was no use. He sank down onto the cold asphalt, holding on to the bag as he cried. Desperately. Yearning for someone to get him out of this mess.

Jimin knew Yoongi wouldn’t want to see him again and even if his parents might take him in again if he showed that he had learned, he was sure Yoongi wouldn’t want to have anything to do with him. Rubbing his palms over his eyes, he looked up at the night sky, wondering if Yoongi was hurting just as much as him, or if it had been easy for him to cast Jimin out like that. He was scared about how much his heart was aching at the thought of Yoongi falling in love with someone else, because if Jimin was sure of one thing, then it was that he would never stop loving Yoongi. He had given him so much, something that Jimin had never thought he needed before. Someone where he could truly be himself, but in the end even that wasn’t enough. Jimin wiped over his eyes and got up to walk ahead. He couldn’t stop. He needed to find something…

Yoongi had tried to finish his work but had failed spectacularly. From a reasonable point of view, he thought that he had done the right thing, because if he hadn't acted harshly then maybe Jimin would have done it again. And he wouldn't risk losing Jimin to a car crash. Now they at least had a chance to get back together, if Jimin thought about his actions and told him the truth, if he told him why he had taken those drugs they could work it out and make sure that it never happened again or... He sighed deeply. All reason aside his heart was aching horribly, and he couldn't stop thinking about Jimin. If he had really done the right thing. If Jimin would really think about his actions or do the opposite and go for another adrenalin hunt. What if he had pushed Jimin further into it? What if instead of making Jimin safer he had actually put him at more risk? He needed to do something. He needed to find out what had really happened. And as he couldn't trust Jimin on that issue because the boy might be lying to not get himself into trouble, he needed someone else. Of course his friends had told him that the ambulance had been there and how they had transported the car. But if he asked deeper, searched for details then he might be able to put the puzzle pieces together. He left his tools right where they were, not able to wait a second longer, going right over to Tae’s. He’d ask each of them for everything they remembered, one by one.

But it wasn’t Tae who opened the door for him. Jungkook peeked through the gap, opening the door wide as soon as he saw who it was. “He’s not here,” The younger answered Yoongi’s questions about where Taehyung was right away. He let Yoongi come in nonetheless, though he couldn’t help but feel a little nervous. Jungkook had heard the fight and they had decided to get out of Yoongi’s way quick and just call it a day. Taehyung going wherever he was right now (Jungkook wasn’t sure, since he was acting a lot quieter around him), while he went straight home to their shared apartment.

Yoongi frowned, not sure if he should rather call him or wait for his return. But maybe he could ask Kookie instead. It probably wasn't the smartest idea to base his decisions on Jungkooks words alone considering how intoxicated he had been on the last few parties, but he could definitely add to the picture.

“Do you want something to drink? A beer, maybe?” Jungkook said with a sweet smile, trying to make Yoongi feel at ease. “Just sit down and if you need to talk…,” He almost whispered the last words, “You know…I’m just as good as Tae.”

He nodded, normally not the type to drink unless he went out with friends but tonight, Yoongi really craved something that would take the edge off his feelings a little. He awkwardly stood in the hallway, lost in his mind until Jungkook came back with two beers and nodded towards the living room. “You coming? Or do you want to stand there all night? After everything that happened to you it’s not like you need to add to that and make yourself uncomfortable on purpose...”  Jungkook took a sip from his beer, waiting for Yoongi to talk. He didn’t want to pressure him, instead he wanted the older to feel safe and comfortable in his presence. Even if he still had guilty conscience about the drugging incident, Jungkook told himself that Jimin had only minor bruises and nothing worse had happened. And apparently…if he had heard right today at the workshop, Yoongi was single again. Jungkook bit his lip to not show the little smile. Maybe it was time for Yoongi to see, who truly was always there for him in the end. Who truly loved him, and he could trust in.

Yoongi took a sip of his drink as well. Normally he didn't mind silence but as he was here for a reason, he could only handle it for a moment before delving in right away. “Look, actually I meant to ask Tae about the night when Jimin had that accident. I’d like to know if something happened that would explain it. Like... was there a fight? Something that pressured him? Where did he get the drugs from? It just doesn't add up. So, I wondered if you were there and if you could tell me if you noticed anything.”

Jungkook looked at Yoongi with wide eyes, before he quickly gathered himself again, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly. “Hm, let me think,” Jungkook took another sip from his drink, shifting a little closer to Yoongi without him even noticing, “I just remember how he met up with Tae and we drank a little. I can’t tell you how much he had, though... but it probably has been a few beers. Then Taehyung went off to say ‘hi’ to some friends and I was with Jimin for a little while.” A weak smile appeared on Jungkook’s lips, while he was playing his part perfectly, “But I didn’t stay for too long with him…so I’m sorry. He probably found some old friends of his. I don’t know, Yoongi. I’m sorry, really but I knew he was trouble.” Looking at Yoongi with a sad look, he reached out for the older, caressing reassuringly over his arm. “I’m really sorry.”

Yoongi nodded, lips pressed into a thin line. “Yeah. He... he must have met some of his old friends and things just escalated from there.” He got quiet when Jungkook reached out for him. Had he really been so stupid to fall for Jimin although Jimin was just looking for a temporary fix of his need for excitement? He had looked so broken on the beach, asking him to not break his heart and now... now it had been the other way round. Jungkook did have a point when he had said that in the end Jimin would be the reason Yoongi was hurting. He sighed deeply, trying to lift the weight off his chest but in vain. “Dont be. It's not your fault. I... I should have listened to you, I guess. You were the only one who knew how it would play out.”

“I really wish I wasn’t right,” Jungkook said quietly, “You’ll never know. I’m not saying he didn’t love you. I’m sure he did, but…some people just are toxic and only need a little push in the wrong direction.” The younger sighed deeply, biting his lip in thought before he gazed up at Yoongi again. “But I guess, it’s also time to say sorry myself,” Jungkook smiled weakly, hoping that if he turned the topic around to him a little more, Yoongi could see why he had done all the things for him, “I didn’t want to work you up further and make you all worried about me. It just…you didn’t listen to me. Nobody did. I felt alone.”

Listening to the younger Yoongi felt even more guilty. Jungkook was right, he had distanced himself from him and even told the others to just let him be and let him work out things on his own when Jungkook got too angry. It must have been hard to care and worry for him and instead be dismissed as jealous or aggressive. No wonder Jungkook had started to get agitated and prone to distraction. Maybe that’s why he had gone too Yunyeong. Because the elder had a tight group of friends around him at all times. Jungkook must have felt so abandoned...

“I’m so sorry Jungkook. I know I treated you badly, but I only realized now to what extent. I... I’ll try to make it up to you, okay? Treat you for lamb skewers if you want, just you and me, like old times?”

Jungkook couldn’t hide the happy smile and nodded eagerly, “Like the old times.” He felt so relieved that Yoongi finally saw what really happened. That Jimin wasn’t good for him and that how it was before, was just perfect. Nothing needed to be changed. No rich kids from the upper east side. Only them. Their races. Just the six of them. Jungkook jumped up to get them another beer, opening it for Yoongi with a smile that was so big it scrunched up his nose cutely. “You know it won’t be cheap then though, right?” Jungkook gave the beer to Yoongi, now sitting even closer than before. “I will definitely savor our lamb skewer date then and eat until I can’t eat anymore,” He said with a playful tone.

“Don’t worry, I’ll do whatever it takes to make you forgive me.” Yoongi accepted the second beer, only now noticing with surprise that his first one was empty. He felt better now, the sharp aches inside of him softening a bit, memories of Jimin’s desperate look being overlapped by Jungkook’s happy face. He didn't want to forget Jimin, and there was no way he would but for now it felt good to get a little distraction.

“Sounds very promising for me,” Jungkook definitely was flirting by now. Subtle, but still flirting. He cheered with his beer, watching Yoongi how he drank half of it in almost one go. He really must feel desperate. “Do you maybe want to start tonight?” Jungkook spoke fast, “I mean…ehm… with making it up to me. I just wanted to make myself some food and we could maybe… cook together?” He bit his lip a bit shyly, motioning over to the kitchen and for Yoongi to follow him.

Yoongi laughed, the first time in quite a while. It felt freeing. “Sure. But I have to tell you that I see through you.” At Jungkook's surprised face he continued with a wink “You just want someone to make you food because you’re too lazy to do it yourself and would rather do the eating part than the cooking. Don’t worry, I gotcha. I know how that feels. But as Jin’s not around I fear we have to do it ourselves.” He pushed the sleeves up his arms to not get dirty and grabbed the pan that was lying around. “So, what were you planning on making?” He took a look at the ingredients and cocked his head. “Some kind of bell pepper with oil and ...more vegetables?”

“Just some rice and vegetables,” Jungkook shrugged his shoulders, “What? It’s late and I was hungry, so I need something fast and easy.” The younger smiled happily though, when Yoongi went ahead and started cutting some vegetables. He quickly got himself a knife, too, helping Yoongi as much as he could. Jungkook was stirring the rice, as he watched the older prepare the vegetables letting Yoongi tell him all about how to do it correctly, while Jungkook was pretending that he didn’t know anything.

“Here,” Yoongi motioned for Jungkook to take over and when he reached out for the spatula, his hand brushed Yoongi’s just slightly, making a blush appear on Jungkook’s cheek. Yoongi stayed close to him, watching over his shoulder and when Jungkook turned his head, his lips were only a few inches away from Yoongi’s. He didn’t dare to stay like that though. It only was a fleeting movement, before he concentrated back on the food.

Yoongi was too immersed in the cooking to notice Jungkook’s infatuation with him just like he had failed to notice it all the times before. He was just enjoying their time together, initiating a little more skin ship than usual because he was so used to being around Jimin who was the clingiest boyfriend ever and had been able to wake a longing for closeness in Yoongi that he had never felt before. So, when he touched Jungkook’s arm a bit more often than normal or brushed his nape in a comforting gesture when the younger asked him for instructions then it wasn’t to mislead Jungkook on purpose but simply a habit that he had integrated into his everyday life.

But Jungkook didn’t know.

He enjoyed every caress, every little skin ship that Yoongi was showing. It was getting late when they finally finished the food. It was perfect for Jungkook. Everything tonight just was. It was so long from when he last had spent time with Yoongi, that he was soaking in every bit of attention he got now. Sipping on their third beer, Jungkook looked at the watch, “Oh… I don’t think you should be going home anymore, Yoongi. You can stay here, if you want? You slept over so many times before. We really don’t mind and as it seems, Tae will stay out.” He pointed at Yoongi’s beer, “And you shouldn’t drive anymore, even if three beer seems like nothing. I don’t want you to get hurt.” He looked up at the older with a sad look, hoping he was able to lure him in a little more.

“Don’t worry ‘bout me, you know I can handle it I won’t...,” Yoongi broke off, body tensing for a second. He almost said “crash”. And now he was flooded with thoughts about Jimin again, as if he hadn’t been able to relax a little bit in between. Jungkook was probably right and it was better to stay, not because of the beer but because of his own mind. If he would go home and spend the night alone the thoughts would surely eat him up and he wouldn't be able to sleep for one second. So better not risk it and stay here.

“Thank, Kook, I appreciate it. Could you lend me a shirt maybe?” This one still had spots on it from repairing the engine and although he didn't mind that in the workshop he definitely didn't want to sleep in it tonight. Jungkook nodded eagerly, “Of course I can.” He jumped from his seat, walking over to where his room was, not even waiting for Yoongi. Jungkook was just so happy that Yoongi was trusting him more again, that the older wanted to spend time with him. Even if Yoongi would just take Taehyung’s bed or the couch, he wouldn’t mind. It wouldn’t take long for Jungkook to make Yoongi sleep in his bed again. Looking through his closet, Jungkook was searching for the right shirt that would fit Yoongi and wouldn’t be too loose or too tight for him. “Do you rather want a white or a…” Jungkook stopped mid-sentence when he noticed Yoongi right next to him. He gulped heavily.

Yoongi squinted his eyes at all the white shirts in Jungkook’s closet, smirking and then tapping his chin in thoughts. “It really is a difficult decision to make, do I take snow white or paper white - or cotton white?”  He pointed at a shirt that looked a bit smaller and wouldn't look like a dress on him. "I think I chose eggshell white."

Yoongi was so close to Jungkook, he could smell his familiar scent and the younger had to fight the urge not to lean in but Yoongi’s teasing, made him look at him with a raised eyebrow. “Says the one with only grey and black shirts,” Jungkook teased him right back, before he turned to get out one of the shirts from the top shelf. When Jungkook wanted to give the shirt to Yoongi though, he froze in his movements completely, his eyes fixated on Yoongi’s sudden naked chest.

Still so close. Too close.

Jungkook’s heart was beating wildly. His mind going crazy with possibilities. Should he dare? Should he wait? Taking a step closer to Yoongi, he looked at the older who had just put his shirt aside and was showing off a sweet smile towards him. Oh, how in love Jungkook was. Desperately. He needed him. His fingertips touched Yoongi’s skin every so lightly. “Here…your shirt,” Jungkook’s voice was barely a whisper, when his eyes flickered down to Yoongi’s lips, leaning in slowly.

At first Yoongi froze in shock, grabbing Jungkook's arms on instinct. He was about to push the younger away when Jungkook leaned further into him, his lean, warm body pressing against Yoongi‘s. It felt so nice to have someone close like this and... he missed Jimin so much! Jungkook kissed how Yoongi felt; desperate and vulnerable. So, despite knowing better he kissed Jungkook back. It seemed like the younger had just waited for this because as soon as he felt Yoongi reciprocating he melted into him, opening his mouth softly to let Yoongi in. Jungkook's mouth was heavenly, warm and soft, his lips pressing with just the right amount of force against his to feel his desire. He pulled Jungkook closer by the waist, needing to feel more of him, of this perfect body. Which he knew well enough considering that he has had it beneath him before. He wasn‘t exactly proud of that memory, as it had been a drunk fuck and nothing more but what he remembered of it was amazing. Jungkook had definitely known how to use his obvious charms, just as he did right now.

The younger smiled against Yoongi’s lips, knowing exactly how to drive him wild and make him addicted to the kiss. Carefully and sensually, Jungkook let his hands caress over Yoongi’s chest until he could wrap his arms around Yoongi’s neck, wanting to feel even closer. He pulled back, feeling a little out of a breath when he gazed back into Yoongi’s eyes. The older’s arms still holding onto his waist and Jungkook couldn’t help but smile and lean in again. He just needed more. Even though he wasn’t sure how far Yoongi would go, this was already enough to soothe Jungkook’s heart a little. Yoongi was back in his arms, kissing him until he was out of breath.

It was way too tempting to lose himself in the way Jungkook was kissing him to listen to the small little voice of reason who told him that this was a bad idea. Sure, he and Jimin were on a break right now so it wasn't exactly cheating and ... and... The soft little moan Jungkook made was all it took to lure him in completely. He was weak to that kind of sound. And Jungkook had such a beautiful voice. He remembered all too well how sensual and mind blowingly good the younger was in bed… and he was old enough to know the difference between love and just sex. So what difference would it make to just forget everything that was bothering him for some feelgood time and a little fun. So, when he realized Jungkook was leading him towards the bed he didn’t stop him.

It was easy for him to turn a little, getting up on the bed behind him and pulling Yoongi over him when he was kissing Yoongi absolutely senseless. Yoongi placed his arms left and right of Jungkooks head to balance out his weight although he knew the younger could take it. He liked that about Jungkook a lot, his physicality, the ability to confront things that seemed beyond his limits and win nonetheless. He was just what he needed right now, something strong and solid. Someone to lean onto. His hand slipped under Jungkook’s shirt as he teasingly traced his muscles, smirking into the kiss as he felt them clench under his touch. Jungkook couldn’t believe this was happening right now, feeling like he was on cloud nine, absolutely overwhelmed from the sensations. Yoongi’s touch felt so familiar, so achingly soft on his skin, making him shiver underneath the older. He let Yoongi kiss down his neck easily, moaning softly, holding him tight to him. Jungkook never wanted to let go of Yoongi again. He could feel Yoongi’s hands under his shirt, right before he yanked it over his head and Jungkook couldn’t help but giggle. Yoongi seemed like he wanted to get down to it fast and Jungkook was all up for it. He just wanted him. Desperately.

Jungkook looked so happy that Yoongi couldn’t help but kiss him, again and again. He was feeling the younger up shamelessly, surprised at how eagerly Jungkook reacted. But if he was honest, he wasn’t exactly the greatest at pushing down his needs either. His desire has caught flame and was burning brighter with each touch and each kiss they shared. He palmed Jungkook through his pants and was rewarded with a beautiful groan that he kissed right out of the youngers mouth. He would tease as many moans out of him as he could tonight... His hand found its way to the button and with a pop and a stare right into the youngers eyes he opened his pants. Jungkook smirked. He felt hot and the mixture of desire, happiness and alcohol he had before was loosening his tongue. His voice barely a whisper. Breathy, soft moans escaping his lips. “I missed you,” Jungkook whispered, when Yoongi was leaving a wet trail of kisses all over his stomach, “I knew…you would come…back. Just…needed you to see me.”

He couldn’t really make sense of Jungkook’s words but as he had more pressing matters right now - like undressing him - he concentrated on that. Jungkook looked amazing like this, all the expanse of smooth, unblemished skin… Yoongi couldn’t wait to take him.

Jungkook moaned, when Yoongi was palming him again through his boxers, arching his back beautifully, “Hm you…just needed a little push…but now you’re…with me.” Closing his eyes in pleasure, Jungkook wasn’t even sure if his mumbling made sense, but he needed Yoongi to know that he had always been there. Waiting for him. To see him. To love him.

Yoongi faltered when he realized that Jungkook was talking about Jimin’s accident. The exact thing he tried to not think about right now. His voice was a little bitter when he answered. “A little push? Well, I’d call that an enormous, unnecessary crash. A waste of metal and brain cells and... and goddamn trust!”

Jungkook let his hands caress over Yoongi’s chest, as he still felt blissfully gone in the pleasure not really noticing that Yoongi was stiffening up a little. Leaning forward, he kissed along his shoulder and up to his neck, until he was reaching Yoongi’s jawline. “It wasn’t unnecessary,” He whispered quietly, placing a kiss on his lips, “Now, you see he isn’t good for you.” Another kiss on Yoongi’s cheek and Jungkook lost himself, not really caring about telling Yoongi the truth now. “I knew he would go crazy,” He whispered, “It was only a matter of time until he would break and you’re back with me.”

Yoongi looked at him incredulously. “You... you’re making it sound like what happened to Jimin was a good thing! And... even though you were right about him hurting me, maybe... if...if there’s an explanation for everything... you see... if he would just tell me the truth and promise to never do something crazily stupid like this... I think I could forgive him?” He felt awkward talking about everything in the current position he was in. This was meant to be a pretty distraction. Not an opportunity to delve even deeper into his hurt and confusion.

“There is an explanation,” Jungkook caressed over Yoongi’s cheek softly, before he confessed easily, “Jimin is a mess and I couldn’t let you stumble into something and let you get hurt even more in the end. So, he just needed a little push and I took it upon myself to do so. I needed you to be safe. I can’t see you getting hurt. He would have hurt you…and it would have been worse.” He sighed, kissing Yoongi’s jawline sweet and quick as he let his hand caress down his naked back, “I needed you to see who he really is.”

Yoongi felt like he was in some kind of distorted reality. Hearing Jungkook say those words and realizing their meaning where two different things. His mind was just blank for a second. Then it hit him like a wall of bricks. “W...what? His voice sounded as choked as he felt. This couldn’t be true. He felt sick, scrambling to get away from Jungkook and sit on the bed, staring at him as if he had sprouted another head. “This... No way. There’s no way that this... Please tell me you’re joking. Tell me this is an inappropriate, awful, twisted excuse of a joke!” Jungkook had flinched when Yoongi moved so fast, that he wasn’t able to reach out for him. He huffed, being slightly annoyed that Yoongi apparently still thought that what happened to Jimin was still worth an explanation.

“He did it all himself! He made that mess, not me,” Jungkook said, his voice began to shake, “I maybe put some of the drugs into his drink, but he was the one who crashed into the wall. Jimin wanted to race! I didn’t make him! It’s his own fault that he crashed.” Jungkook was totally blind to the consequences of his behavior by now, just seeing his own hurt and pain, “You were able to see how messed up he is… because no one saw it. It wasn’t the first time he did stuff like that and you know that! Why would he change for you then? He would have only hurt you? I wouldn’t. I was always there for you!”

Yoongi got up, the rage making his hands shake while took his shirt and tried his best to put it back on without ripping it in the process - or throwing a punch at Jungkook. “You’re delusional, Jungkook. How could you... how on earth could you think that anything would justify drugging… my God, you could have killed him! You knew he was on drugs... drugs that you gave him... “ He broke off. Any second that he was with Jungkook was a second wasted in which he could tell Jimin that he was sorry. “I need to find Jimin. Right now.”

“Yoongi! No!” Jungkook got up on his knees, catching Yoongi’s wrist easily and holding him back in the process, “He will do it again and you know that. If it isn’t me… then he will get it from someone else. And he will drag you down with him!” His voice suddenly softened, his heart beating hard against his chest when he realized that Yoongi was about to run away from him… again. He was getting anxious. His heart aching painfully with every beat of it. “Please, Yoongi,” Jungkook wrapped his arms around the older waist to keep him close and from running away, “Please don’t go. I just… wanted you to see me. Why didn’t you see me? Please…stay here, please. I just…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for him to get hurt, believe me. That was his fault. Not mine! Please, I love you…”

Yoongi had tried, he had really tried to hold himself back but seeing Jungkook like this, still believing that he did the right thing and even daring to tell him that he loved him while the real person who told him that was hurting because of Jungkook – he just snapped. He forcefully ripped Jungkook’s hands off of him, not caring in the slightest if he hurt him.

“You poor, twisted excuse of a person! You have no idea what love is about if you think that you could trick someone into loving you like that. You risked Jimin’s sanity, his life for your wicked little plans.” He shook his head as if he still couldn’t believe it, a humorless laugh on his lips. “And I even told Jimin that none of you would ever do anything to harm him. I really believed in you, no matter how childish or angry or jealous you might be. No, I could never love you Jungkook. Not after I’ve seen what you turned out to be. I never want to see you again.” It was just a whisper, low and hateful but it had the same effect as if Yoongi had screamed it in his face or beat it into his skin.” Then he left, not sparing the younger a single glance.

“Yoongi, please! I’m sorry, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to hurt him I just... I wanted...” His voice died out. Jungkook bit down so hard on his lip that he drew blood, but the stinging feel didn’t even come close to the havoc that Yoongi’s words wreaked inside of his chest. He had to swallow down his whimpers to talk but he couldn’t just give up he couldn’t let Yoongi walk away he needed... he needed him to understand, so stay, to... to not leave him again. “Please...” His voice was weak, barely a shadow of himself. “I’ll do whatever it takes, whatever you…want me to do just please.. please don’t leave me. Don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me.” He was crying now, begging although Yoongi was long gone. Left him like before. When Yoongi walked away Jungkook finally broke, curling into himself on the bed, crying miserably, for Yoongi, for his broken heart, for everything he had ruined.

Taehyung turned the key in the lock of their shared apartment with a sigh. It was late already, and he just hoped Jungkook was already asleep and not staying awake playing videos games all night and then falling asleep at work again. He smiled at the cute moments, where Taehyung had to shake Jungkook awake when they had a new customer. How flustered he was. The red flushing his cheeks and Taehyung would have loved to lean over and…

A quiet sob made Taehyung freeze in his movements, closing the main door quietly as he listened. He threw his bag aside, not even caring to get out of his jacket as he ran over to Jungkook’s room, only coming to a halt in front of his door. Taehyung didn’t need to push the door open, it still stood wide, seeing Jungkook in his half naked, curled in form, sobbing and crying. “Jungkook,” His voice was barely audible, when Taehyung rushed over to Jungkook who was looking like he had hurt himself, or got hurt, or whatever happened. Either way Taehyung was worried and scared. “It’s me, Tae,” He whispered, getting onto the bed, carefully reaching out for Jungkook to not startle him, “What happened? Are you okay?”

Jungkook saw Taehyung running towards him and instead of getting comfort from how worried Tae was because of him and he just died a little more inside. Tae. Caring, joyful Tae with his heart too big and his mind full of wonder. How would he react when he found out what he had done? He whimpered, thinking about how Tae would push him away like Yoongi. Which he would do because Tae was gentle, warm hearted and patient in places where Jungkook was just downright cruel as he had shown all too clearly with his actions. He just curled in tighter on himself, hiding his face in his arms, trying not to let Tae see, trying to protect himself from getting his heart broken again tonight.

“Jungkookie, please,” Taehyung shifted a little closer, caressing reassuringly over his back – but no matter what he did, Jungkook didn’t talk to him. So, Taehyung did what he deemed was the best to do in a situation like this. He got rid of his jacket quick, just because it annoyed him and was uncomfortable. Before he laid down beside Jungkook though, he got a thin blanket to drape it over him. He didn’t want him to start freezing. Jungkook had turned away from him, but that didn’t keep Taehyung from putting his arm around the younger as he laid down beside him, caressing over his arm softly. “I’m here, it’s okay,” Taehyung said quietly, “I’ll stay here, okay?”

Jungkook just wished Taehyung wouldn’t be so nice to him then because then maybe the contrast wouldn’t be as cruel. Every caress hurt like a cut because it wasn’t what he deserved, and he knew that Tae would get away from him as soon as he knew the truth, just like Yoongi had. He just wished he could take it all back. Everything. Not just that he had told Yoongi. But what he had done. To Jimin. To everyone. He had been so angry. Now he just felt lost. And hurt. He had been broken already before he just hadn‘t realized it till now.

He had risked Jimin dying just to get Yoongi to love him. Which had been meaningless anyway because Yoongi was still in love with Jimin and even if he wasn‘t he would never choose Jungkook. Maybe it was visible somehow to others, that he was cold and heartless, that he couldn‘t take things slow, he had to go all in every time, be it a stupid game – or love. He had been so busy fighting for Yoongi that he had entirely missed that Yoongi didn‘t want him. He had never wanted him, not like that. He had looked out for him because he was the youngest of their group and Yoongi was a person who cared for each individual in his group. Not because Jungkook was special to him. Now that the realization had sunk in that there was no one who wanted him he realized how lonely he really was. How fixated he had been on Yoongi.

He shivered when the cold was creeping under his skin. A part of him wanted to tell Taehyung some lie so that the other would feel with him, would hold him, make him feel better. But it would be cruel to use Tae‘s soft heart like that. And he couldn‘t... he couldn‘t do that to him. Even if it would have meant to soothe his pain for a while. He needed to tell Taehyung the truth as he deserved it, show him at least that little act of respect for everything the other had done for him, for the long time they had been friends. No matter how much it would hurt to lose Tae as well. “Please... please stop.” His voice sounded as broken as he felt but there was no other way than to just tell him right now.

Taehyung felt his stomach drop with how broken Jungkook sounded. He stopped everything he was doing right away, looking at Jungkook in confusion. “What’s wrong? What happened, Jungkookie?” Taehyung asked carefully, propping himself up on his elbow to look over Jungkook’s shoulder and at his face, “Please, you know you can tell me anything. No matter what it is…”

Jungkook took a deep breath and looked at Tae’s face, so gentle, so worried before he would look at him with contempt and disgust, like Yoongi had. It really had been nice to have a best friend, someone who shared the same passions and who was by his side through the good times as well as the bad. He sobbed when he tried not to think about how all of those memories would fade away now that Tae would start to hate him. As soon as the other would realize how he really was he would turn his back on him. Better not to stall it. It was like pulling off a plaster, the quicker the painless it would be. But it would still hurt like hell.

“I fucked up, Tae“ It was a meaningless sentence, considering that Tae must have figured something was wrong the way he was curled, with his tear streaked face and empty eyes.

A sad smile appeared on Taehyung’s face, when Jungkook confessed to him and Taehyung pulled in Jungkook a little closer to him, making sure he could feel the warmth coming from him, instead of pushing him away.

“I... Jimin... the accident... it’s all my fault. I tried to make him run into trouble so Yoongi would be disappointed and... not love him anymore.” Now that he phrased it like this is sounded stupid even to his own ears. He didn’t tell Taehyung that he had wanted Yoongi to love him instead. It hurt too much. And for the moment he tried not to think too far ahead, just be with Taehyung for as long as he could before he would be alone again. his voice was barely audible when he spoke, but he got the words out because if he didn’t manage to tell Taehyung the truth now he would never have the guts to do it. And so, Taehyung would hear it from someone else and abandon him too but... he wouldn’t be able to say goodbye. “I drugged him, Tae. I put something in his drink and then... didn’t held him back when he got in his car.”

“I know,” He whispered, pushing a string of hair out of Jungkook’s face, chuckling a little at Jungkook’s confused expression. He knew how much it would hurt if the one you loved didn’t love you back, if he was longing after someone else while you tried to make him see you. The feeling had made itself a home in his heart. He knew it all too well, but the difference was, Jungkook had acted on the feeling and Taehyung had to see his downfall.

“Who do you think called the ambulance?” Taehyung asked, not accusing Jungkook in any way, “I saw you with him and at first I didn’t think anything bad…but then Jimin got into the car and I knew something was wrong. I know you didn’t mean to hurt him.” He hooked a finger under Jungkook’s chin to make him look up at him, “You messed up big time. I know you’ve been hurting but it’s not an excuse…but I know you better than anyone else. I wish I could have…helped you more. Keep you safe and not make you run into any more trouble. I’m sorry I failed.” He reached out to cup Jungkook’s cheek, his thumb caressing over the soft skin, wiping away a tear that fell. “I’m disappointed, Jungkook…,” Taehyung said with a soft voice, wrapping his arm a little closer around Jungkook to make sure the younger felt what he would say next through his actions, “...but I don’t hate you.”

“You knew?” Jungkook couldn’t wrap his head around it. But in this mess that was his life at least something needed to be good right?

“So, it was you…,” He had wondered who had found Jimin first while he lay awake in that first night after the incident, horrified by the thought of people coming too late or the car catching fire. But not in his wildest dreams did he think it could have been Taehyung. Now it made sense why his friend had avoided him those last few days. But he had kept his mouth shut, without doubt corrupting his own moral compass and still sticking to it - for him. And, although he had just told him that he was disappointed in him he was still there. He still held him. Jungkook leaned his head on Taehyung's shoulder, sighing deeply and closing his eyes, just to rest for a second. To not feel so broken, even if it was just for the blink of an eye.

“Yoongi said he doesn’t want to see me again, so I guess that’s it, working at the workshop is over for me. It would be nice if you would let me stay in the flat for a little while though, only until I find something else.” Just mentioning Yoongi’s name hurt. But he would get used to it. Just like he would get used to a new job, new flat. New friends. Not everyone would react like Taehyung had, he was certain of that. “I’m not sure how long it’ll take me to find something new, but I swear I’m not going to make you choose between Yoongi and me. I’ll just come home to sleep so they don’t have to run into me when they come over.” It would be strange to go without their ‘special friendship nights’, watching stupid films and getting pizza. But he would never go against Yoongi ever again. And he was sure Jimin didn’t want to see him either. He should apologize to him. Get him chocolate, some flowers, a card. Though he doubted there would be one that said, “I’m sorry I drugged you and left you to die I didn’t mean to and it was really stupid”. He shivered but if it was because of the cold or because he was scared, he couldn't tell.

Taehyung listened to Jungkook attentively, while he caressed through his hair, pulling the blanket a little closer over his shoulders, when he felt the shiver in Jungkook’s body. “I understand if it is your decision if you want to go, but don’t do it because of me. You don’t have to move out,” A faint smile appeared on his lips, “And we’ll figure something out, okay? Just… please.” He waited for Jungkook to look at him again, “Listen to me this time, okay? You and me we’re going to make this right. I can’t promise that Yoongi will forgive you...or Jimin... but at least you can try and I won’t leave you alone in this. You’re better than that. You just...got lost.” Taehyung leaned in to place a kiss on top of Jungkook’s hair. He couldn’t let Jungkook be alone in this, no matter how hard he had fucked up. It was an easy promise for him, because deep in his heart Taehyung knew that Jungkook wouldn’t do such things again. He had learned the hard way now.  

“I’ll be back in a second okay?” He whispered, before he slipped out of the blanket, making sure Jungkook wouldn’t freeze without his body heat as he draped it closer over his body.

When Tae left him, he curled in on himself again, staying like this completely motionless and getting lost in his own thoughts until Tae came back.

Taehyung rushed to the kitchen first, opening the freezer as he got out a bottle of water and some of Jungkookie’s favorite banana milk. The younger always drank it when he was feeling low or sad and Taehyung knew all about Jungkook’s favorite things. Then he got some tissues, before he rushed into the bathroom, getting a small towel, wetting it with warm water. When he was back with Jungkook, he placed the things onto the little nightstand, just so the other would only need to reach out for it. He sat himself back next to Jungkook, pulling the younger one into his embrace. Reaching for the towel, he cleaned Jungkook’s face, so he could feel a little better, with the uttermost care. His arm holding the younger tight to him, while Jungkook’s head was resting on his chest.

Jungkook let Tae take care of him like a scared child, rigid and wide eyed and insecure. He would go with whatever would come next, completely disconnected from the here and now. Just watching, reacting passively and relying mainly on instincts. Thinking too much hadn’t done him any good and right now he was hurting too much to use his mind properly, so he let the comfortably numb feeling wash over him.

Taehyung noticed how lifeless Jungkook seemed and it hurt him to see his friend like that. He wished he could have done more for him before, that it wouldn’t have to go so far. Sighing deeply, he put the washcloth away again, reaching for the water to make Jungkook drink a little. He didn’t want him to get a headache from dehydration tomorrow. Luckily for him, Jungkook was pliant and doing whatever he told him… though it still made his heart sting painfully.

“I’m going to stay by your side okay?” He whispered sweetly into his hair, placing a kiss on top of his head, “You won’t be alone.” Shifting a little, he pulled the blanket over himself as well, letting Jungkook settle next to him however he liked. When the younger was seeking his embrace and warmth, Taehyung caressed sweetly over his hair, reassuring him each time he stirred, waiting until the exhaustion had taken over and he had fallen asleep in his arms. Taehyung's warmth and kindness was more than he felt he deserved so he felt a bit guilty for accepting it so easily, but how could he turn down the only comfort he had? He tried not to make it too obvious how he was snuggling closer to his friend, burying his head somewhere near Taehyung's chest. He whispered a quiet thank you against the boys skin before the need to rest took over, making him fall asleep in no time.

A/N: We are nearing the end! What do you think about this chapter? Will Yoongi be able to find Jimin soon? Ughhh my heart broke a little for Jungkook here ;; Anyways.... thank you for reading! You are the best! Thank you so much for your support! ❤ I am so sorry that I couldn’t link any chapters or the masterlist on this post. Tumblrs latest issues makes the post not show up on the search engine when you link internal links...which is very stupid....but okay. So, you can find everything in the masterlist in my description and I’ll relink everything soon.

[michaelmyersmalewife]

LEVIATHAN | 15. Epilogue | MASTERLIST

words: 3k+

A/N: and there it is :') im still in shock that the second ever fic i finished is fuxjcking about godzilla of all things (and clocking in at about 80k+ words in total, it’s the longest thing ive written so that’s fitting i guess) but ngl, i had the most fun writing it and i actually felt motivated and even excited to start a new chapter ?? and it feels almost a little weird to see it end; anyway, it always feels nice to finish a project ur passionate about, no matter how self indulgent it is

you can also support this fic on wattpad & ao3

Jodie adjusted the mic on Dr. Graham's blazer.

It had been a long time since she had seen her so nervous, not since the mass awakening. But she couldn't blame her. She tried giving her a reassuring smile, but the woman was staring just past her shoulder, at the wall behind them.

"Uh, Dr. Graham?" Coleman cleared his throat as his head peeked through the door. "You're on in about in a minute."

Vivienne snapped to attention almost immediately, and Jodie stepped away. The doctor wrung her hands as she took a deep breath, taking a tentative step towards the door.

It was a big day, one that could potentially take a step toward mending Monarch's relations with the government and the public alike. Or, it could just make it worse. Jodie already felt her heart thunder in her chest, the start of a headache forming in the back of her head. She had suspected the oncoming barrage of conferences and hearings and the like after Boston, but she didn't think it would happen this soon.

"You got this, Viv." she punctuated with a thumbs-up.

The smallest of smiles appeared on her face before she turned away. Taking a deep breath, Dr. Graham stepped through the door, and in the brief moment before it closed Jodie could see the flashing of camera lights illuminate her form. Now, all she could do was wait.

Sitting down at one of the tables in the small, rectangular room, she pulled out her tablet from her bag. Things had been so hectic - what with being tasked with co-running the Monarch archive that Sam had created - that she barely had any time to catch up with her usual journalistic endeavors. She scrolled through the influx of newsletters that had flooded her inbox over the past couple weeks. It was odd, suddenly seeing 'deforestation halts across the globe', '14th species to be taken off the endangered list', and 'coral reefs restored' among other things. The general public was still unsure about titans as a whole, but their importance was undeniable.

Suddenly, she could hear Vivienne's muffled voice from just beyond the door.

"The Rise of the Titans was an unspeakable tragedy, one that we may never truly recover from. And while we've done all we can to track and contain the ones that were released, we have confirmed that they've begun to retreat to their natural habitats on their own. But it seems that is only the beginning. We believe that there are more titans to be discovered, ones that Ghidorah's call was not able to reach."

There was a massive uproar after that, but Jodie drowned them out. Or, tried to at least. Just then, a notification popped up at the top of the tablet's screen. It was a video call - from China's Yunnan Province. Opening it without hesitation, a livestream filled the screen.

It was Gill. Jodie had been waiting in anticipation for the stream to start, as she was just as excited as the rest of the expedition team for the trek into Mothra's temple. Though, Gill probably had her beat in that aspect.

The feed crackled every now and then, the soft fuzz of radiation seeping through the camera. It was dimly lit, but a fair amount of what looked like a tunnel was illuminated by a handful flashlight beams. It looked like they were walking down a spiral staircase, if those stairs had been carved straight out of the earth. Every now and then they would pass by tall, wide pillars. Just ahead of Gill's point of view were two figures leading the expedition.

In the background, just behind the door, the rabble died down and Graham continued with her speech.

"Which is why Monarch is currently developing a more effective means of dealing with the titans that will potentially..inevitably..wake in the coming years. More effective than our current containment facilities. Now, these plans are still in early development but we will make sure to provide you with regular updates as the project progresses. Which leads me to our next point,"

They had been walking for a while now. And every now and then someone would speak, but their voices would be difficult to make out. Just how far down had they gone?

Suddenly, the static on the camera spiked, filling the screen for a brief second before stabilizing. The feed was still fuzzy, but Jodie could tell they had entered a large chamber. As the flashlights fanned out, Gill's camera swept through the chamber.

There was a raised dais in the center of the room, and on either side were impossibly massive statues. They were identical, and they both depicted women standing almost protectively, their arms splayed out, pointing to something between them. Something massive.

Gill and the two figures that had remained ahead of her approached the object, while the others continued inspecting the rest of the room. One of the figures turned around, looking at Gill with raised eyebrows. It was Chen, and it wasn't too out of the question to assume the person by her side was her sister Ling.

They both pointed their flashlights at the object.

"As of now, Monarch will be operating with full transparency. In accordance with the United Nations, 60 years worth of our documentation regarding titans will be freely available to the public. And with each new discovery, there will be no more secrets. No more hiding. In a post-Godzilla world our mission was to provide a means of defense against every titan we uncovered. And now we believe that staying informed is the greatest defense of all."

Gill's camera was facing downward now, glancing at the EKG monitor in her hand. It was steady, but every other few seconds she could hear the beep of a heartbeat. The object on the massive platform was alive. Jodie felt a wave of chills rush down her spine.

Gill and the twins focused their flashlights onto the object, condensing into one beam. Jodie suppressed a gasp as she realized what the object was.

It was an egg, a giant egg about the size of two buses stacked on top of each other. It was a dull blue and yellow, with light white-ish spots accenting the striped pattern. She heard Gill laugh, unbelieving of the find. She turned to face the twins, and they had each lay a hand on the egg, staring up at it with the lightest of smiles on their faces.

Covering her bases, Jodie thought to herself. She couldn't help but smile along with them.

"We hope that with this new development, we can navigate this new era not just together, but with the titans as well."

_____

Darkness.

She couldn't tell if the void she was in was the size of a crawlspace or the entire universe. But what she did know was that it was pitch black, and it was cold.

She took a step forward, but found that she was frozen. She tried to wriggle her fingers, kick her legs, anything that would allow her the slightest of movement, but it was all futile. Elena could do nothing but silently scream into the abyss, the deafening silence threatening to push at the fabric of her mind.

She was about ready to give up her struggle until she heard it. The laughter.

That same lilting cackle.

It kept echoing throughout the space, three separate sounds melting into something so loud she thought her eardrums would pop. She wasn't sure if she was screaming or sobbing, but she had to find a way out.

Get out get out stop laughing let me OUT -

Elena shot up in bed, eyes wide and tear stains trailing down her cheeks. That was the third time that month where she had "The Dream", as she had been referring to it as. With a shaky hand, she wiped the drying trails away with her palms, quietly looking around her room. It was cold, and the blanket was so warm, but yet she rubbed the sleep from her eyes, brows creasing in annoyance as she reached for the alarm that blared in her ears.

She lay there in the stiff bed for a moment, face half-buried in her pillow as she stared ahead in the dimly lit room. There was an ache in her bones that had never quite left her since the battle of Boston, and some days it wasn't anything more than a dull stiffness that would soon fade as the day went on. But there were others where it spread anywhere it could reach, seeping into her limbs and leaving her wanting to never get out of bed again. Today was one of those days.

For all its inconveniences, she couldn't hate the feeling - not completely. She liked to think of it as proof that she was alive. But that didn't mean it wasn't a bitch to deal with.

Eventually, she knew she would have to drag herself up and out unless she wanted someone knocking at her door, so she did. Swinging her legs over the mattress, she pushed herself up, shuffling to the bathroom. Brushing her teeth, the lukewarm water hitting her face in the shower - it all felt hazy through the sheet of grogginess that still clouded her mind. It wasn't until she looked at the time while getting dressed that she finally snapped back to reality.

Grumbling to herself, she shot out into the hall of Castle Bravo's living quarters, messily tying her hair back in a ponytail as she walked.

It wouldn't have taken her so long to reach the command center had she not decided to stop by the mess hall, picking up a cold bagel and a cup of black coffee. Discreetly popping a painkiller in her mouth, she took a swig out of the cup, walking over to the figures standing in front of an array of controls.

"Well, it's about time." Dr. Stanton said, glancing over his shoulder before returning to his screen, staring intently at the steady beeping that came from the monitor. "Tall, dark, and atomic over here isn't the most patient of lizards, you know."

Elena made no comment save for a roll of the eyes as she ambled over to the front of the room, approaching the wide window that took up half of the wall. Godzilla was just on the other side, multiple drones flagging him like remoras with their floodlights trained on his form. He didn't look particularly upset, but he didn't look too happy either. It was hard to tell with him sometimes. But he seemed to be in a good mood nonetheless, or about as good a mood as the newly crowned "king" could be. But that was likely due in part to the minuscule figure just ahead of her.

Sitting cross-legged on the floor was Madison.

She looked up, giving her a quick wave and a small smile. Elena gave her a friendly nod, crossing her arms and trying not to look directly at the titan as she leaned against the window. Elena wasn't too keen on being around the titan even now, but the child had insisted she be there to 'send him off'.

"Am I interrupting?" she asked.

The girl shook her head. "Nah, he's gonna leave in a little while anyway."

She nearly sighed from relief. "Busy schedule, huh?"

"I guess," Madison shrugged. "Says he's got somewhere to be."

Not too far away from them was a large, mobile screen. Hooked up to it with a handful of thick wires was a familiar device. The ORCA 2.0's soft humming thrummed throughout the control room as a series of words appeared on the screen.

> YOU MAKE IT SOUND SO CASUAL

Madison snorted. "I'm sure whatever you need to do isn't as dramatic as you say it is."

> IF ALL GOES WELL

> THEN HOPEFULLY IT WON'T BE

Elena slightly raised a brow, but she decided not to ask any questions. Since Boston, her fear of the lizard had significantly faded, but she still found herself on edge whenever she was around him, no matter how much Madison reassured her.

"You won't be gone long, right?"

> YOU WORRY TOO MUCH

> TINY SPEAKER

Madison grinned sheepishly at the comment. Smiles like those were rare for her. From her mother's detainment to her father insisting she be given a "proper" education outside of Monarch's programs, Elena suspected the time she spent using the new and improved ORCA were moments of relief. It almost reminded her of..her. Or at least a long lost version of herself.

In that moment, Godzilla's eyes wandered from the girl over to Elena. She felt herself stiffen, but the lizard himself didn't seem to notice. At least, he didn't make it obvious that he did. Instead he let out a snort, a trail of bubbles fluttering above him. Madison had tried coaxing her into talking to him, even to say a simple 'hello'. But she wasn't sure if she was ready, not yet.

> I'LL SEE YOU

> WHEN I SEE YOU

As he began to turn around, Madison waved him off. Elena simply watched, taking a bite out of the bagel still in her hand. With a strong whip of his tail, he shot away from the base. The drones around him returned to their stations, and the ORCA 2.0 quieted as its translation feed shut off automatically.

"Where did he say he was going anyway?" Elena asked as she watched the titan disappear into the blue.

Madison stood up, smoothing out the jacket that had bunched up behind her. In a voice that was all too calm, she answered.

"Skull Island."

_____

Mateo led the men clad in black uniforms down the dimly lit corridor.

Despite their seemingly calm demeanor, they made him nervous, what with their heavy boots and steely gazes. None of them were talkers by any means, but that wasn't what made them seem..off. It was something in the way they acted, the way they spoke that unnerved him. It's not that they didn't act human, it's that they were trying too hard to be. That was especially true for the man that he assumed was their leader. Mateo had known people like him before, hungry for power no matter the cost. He didn't ask many questions, for at this point he just wanted their deal to be over and done with. Despite how uneasy they made him, he couldn't back out now. They were the ones that had approached him, after all.

And even if he could refuse them, it wouldn't have made much of a difference. The world had been changed forever. Much of his family and friends were either dead or scattered around the world due to the mass evacuations held just mere months before. He hated remembering it, how he could have been there for his family.

He had happened to be out at sea when Rodan woke from his slumber deep beneath the island's volcano, and he had been near enough to witness the drop of a bomb that left the waters lifeless. And during Ghidorah's storm, he had managed to make it to shelter. When it was all over, not many of his old relations were left. But he still had his boat and his fishing gear, even though they hadn't served much of a purpose since then. The island's seas were barren, and all the fish that had been killed during the bomb were poisoned.

But somehow, luck had been with him. He had made a good catch, and the strange men had come to pay him for it. Or they would just kill him and take it without a word.

They didn't look like any of the military folk he had ever seen, but they had a similar air to them. And in his experience, that usually did not bode well. But he had run out of choices, and he couldn't do much other than continue to lead them further down the warehouse.

"It's a brave new world, my friend." he told the leader with the calmest tone he could manage. "Such things as this have become much more valuable since the rise of the king."

The leader said nothing. Mateo swallowed nervously.

"Took nine fishing boats to raise it," he continued. "My men, they don't ask for much. Just enough to help their families."

Finally, he saw the entrance to the room where their prize lay.

"Can't fish here anymore..everything's dead."

As they reached the open warehouse space, he saw his men waiting to the side. They all seemed just as uneasy as him. But not because of the swarm of men behind him, but by the source of the stench of death that permeated throughout the room.

He flipped on the lights, and prayed that it was what they were looking for. His coworkers stepped away from it, recoiling as if it could strike them at any moment.

Even in death, covered in seaweed and barnacles, his once golden scales dulled by decay, Ghidorah's head was still terrifying. He had seen it happen, when Godzilla tore it off with his bare teeth and dropped it in the sea just before the bomb hit. He didn't have the slightest idea as to why these strangers payed him and his men to fish it out, but he knew - vaguely - how much titan parts ran on the market. He refused to dabble in that sort of thing, as something about it made him feel wrong. But evidently, whatever they were planning to do with it, the leader had no such qualms.

The leader stepped into the light, walking so close that he was able to touch the creature. As the white-haired man placed a hand on its slimy, rotting flesh, he stared up at it with an unsettling expression. His eyes were as placid as a lake, almost expressionless, and yet he was smiling. But there was nothing denoting happiness in that smile. It was the sort that his father used to call la sonrisa del diablo.

For the first time since his arrival, the man spoke.

"We'll take it."

[kiruuuuu]

Me too, @ruaniamh. Me too :) Thank you so much for this request because I’ll gladly make Doc suffer some more! 💖 (Rating M, no mutual suffering cos Jäger is actually having a great time in this one, non-explicit sex, ~2.5k words)

.

“You look tired”, Blitz remarks right as Doc finishes his examination and earns himself a withering glare.

“Seems like your arm has healed. Maybe now you’ll think twice about engaging in any sport with the small word ‘ultimate’ in its title, even if it’s followed by ‘frisbee’. And yes, I am indeed tired”, Doc replies icily, “and you and your teammates are a large part as to why. Did you know I received a call last night about what I thought to be a medical emergency which turned out to be the impromptu funeral of a rabbit which wasn’t even dead? It must’ve taken a few sips from Bandit’s rum bottle because it showed very similar symptoms in that both of them were largely lethargic with spontaneous bouts of activity, if you can call running into a tree head first a hobby. With how often Bandit does it, I’d say it counts.”

“That’s exactly the reason why I’m mentioning it”, Blitz continues, incomprehensibly excited, “because we actually have a present for you. We pitched in together since you’ve done so much for us, went above and beyond, and we wanted to show you just how much we appreciate all that you’re doing.”

Oh. This is – unexpected. For a few blissful seconds in which the existence of a universe with frightfully idiotic special operators seems nothing but a fever dream, Doc is actually flattered and moved by the gesture. Then suspicion takes over. “…what is it?”

“You’ve been stressed recently and so we thought a vacation is just the thing you need.”

They’re not wrong, though admittedly, Doc could always use a vacation, he just normally doesn’t allow himself to take a rest, abandon his work and the people who count on him. Because as much as he likes to complain, he does genuinely believe they’re good, hard-working people who are able to change the world for the better and he’s proud to serve by their side, honoured for the opportunity to befriend this many compassionate, attentive -

“So we bought you a stay in an all-inclusive hotel in Spain. For an entire week!”

Doc just looks at the beaming German in front of him. He would’ve taken anything, anything, even the bitter cold of the arctic over having literally nothing to do. He likes to go hiking, explore cities and landscapes, and what he doesn’t enjoy is laying in the sun all day wasting away. “That’s uh -”, he starts and is interrupted by a cheery: “You’re welcome! And don’t bring too many books, I’m sure you’ll find enough to do once you’re there.”

And the last wink really should’ve made him realise what was going on.

.

“You”, Doc says loudly, loud enough to be audible over the busy chatter in the luxurious lobby, carpet thick, windows tall and spotless, pillars actual marble, and points at the person whom he’s addressing, “you. I – this… you are fucking kidding me. This isn’t happening. I’m out. I’m going fucking home. Jesus fucking Christ, what the fuck were they thinking?”

People have begun to stare and Jäger walks over, suitcase in tow, so Doc doesn’t have to yell anymore. “I’m pretty sure I can guess”, he replies and sounds entirely too upbeat about this whole disaster of a situation, “you know, Elias has been going on about you and me not showing enough affection to each other.”

So Blitz thought he’d play marriage counsellor. Great. Fan-fucking-tastic. Not only is everyone on the base still convinced the two of them are a couple, now they’re also meddling in their alleged affairs. Even though it’s only noon and Doc got enough sleep last night, he’s beginning to feel exhaustion weighing down his bones. “Did they really -” Book an expensive hotel for a week so Doc and Jäger could have some quality time together? The thought is too horrifying to actually say out loud.

Jäger shrugs and nods. “Seems that way, hm? I was confused why the lady behind the counter told me my ‘partner’ had arrived already.”

“I need something to drink.”

“Knock yourself out. It’s all inclusive.”

.

Doc does indeed knock himself out. He spends the first evening in the hotel bar, bemoaning his fate to everyone who doesn’t manage to get away fast enough and the first night hugging the really quite beautiful toilet while Jäger just giggles at him. He doesn’t seem any less intoxicated than Doc himself but apparently is more adept at holding his liquor – at least for a while. They somehow manage to take shifts in sleeping in their double bed (because of course they’re going to have to share a bed) and vomiting and they end up looking like zombies during breakfast. Blitz sends a text to Jäger about whether they’re enjoying their surprise and Doc only barely restrains himself from answering with a barrage of insults.

There really isn’t anything to do, so when Jäger goes to sleep off the food coma from the excellent breakfast buffet, Doc visits the beach and seeks shelter under a parasol where he tries to read one of the many books he brought until his eyes are falling closed as well. The sweltering heat together with the bright sun are headache inducing even through the painkillers he took pre-emptively this morning, and so he resorts to the one thing which never fails to help: dozing. It’s been a while since he was free from all obligations and duties and so he’s unlearned what to do when he’s not constantly anticipating the next emergency.

He’s awoken by a gentle touch to his hand and blinks groggily into the bright red fabric of the parasol which has miraculously moved to ensure he’s still in its shadow. Going by the fact that Jäger is now perched on another lounger next to him, it’s safe to assume he has to thank the German for saving him from the fate of ending up as red as a boiled lobster.

“Can you get my back? I want to go swimming in a bit.” Jäger holds out a bottle of sunscreen and switches over to Doc’s beach chair when he accepts it with a sigh. “Have you seen the dudes around here? It’s like a gay paradise. Pure eye candy.”

“You should’ve asked one of the prettier ones to smear sun cream all over you”, Doc grumbles as he rubs the cool lotion into the skin of Jäger’s back, barely resisting the urge to draw a dick on him first.

“I did. He’s currently at it.”

Doc snorts, amused for exactly as long as it takes for him to notice Jäger’s small moan while he’s massaging the back of his neck. A terrifying thought dawns on him. “Please tell me you don’t get horny when you’re bored.”

“Of course I do. What else is there to do? Just take a look around, there’s so many gorgeous guys wearing shockingly little and I bet they want to get away from their nagging fake husbands too.”

He pushes against Jäger’s shoulder blades, causing him to lean forward, and dips his hand into the back of his swimming trunks. Better safe than sorry – he once got a nasty sunburn right above his waistline and cursed himself for not being more careful. “I refuse to believe that anyone out there shares our fate. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Also, if you fuck a stranger in our bed, I’m going to murder you in your sleep.”

“Alright, I’ll stay classy then and fuck them on a toilet or something. I saw you ogle that one brunette though and the same goes for you. No fucking with women in our bed, and if it’s a dude, you better invite me to join.”

“Is that really all there is to do here? Flirt with people?”

Jäger shrugs. “You can go for a swim with me.”

Their banter is oddly freeing. Because no matter how much Doc doesn’t want to be here in this hot hell, at least he’s not alone. He likes Jäger as a person and their mutual exasperation helped them bond even further – maybe he should change his perspective and view this week as a spontaneous holiday together with a friend. Yeah, he can do that. So he finds himself nodding. “Alright. Let’s go.”

“Wait, you should probably apply some sunscreen too. I’ll help.” And as Jäger’s hands gently dig into his muscles, causing him to hum in approval, Doc realises something about himself he didn’t know before. He also gets horny when he’s bored.

He’s just never been this bored before.

.

“Look, Gustave, you’re a great guy and I really enjoyed your company, but I have to be honest with you – I’m not the kind of person to encourage affairs”, the cute brunette woman tells him with a soft, regretful smile.

He blinks at her. It was perfect, they spent the better part of two hours talking, getting to know each other and making each other laugh. Hers is melodic and sweet, the lines in the corners of her eyes alluring and the fact that she’s actually successful and happy as a freelancer nothing but impressive. She’s caring and a great listener and - “What do you mean?”

“I’ve seen you with your husband. I’m sorry, but I don’t do this kind of thing. If you’re unhappy, I’m not the person with whom you should talk. He is.” And with a last squeeze of his hand, she vanishes into a different corner of the vast and uncomfortably dark bar, leaving Doc to put his head in his hands and take a deep breath.

Someone takes her place with a bitter grin which speaks of solidarity. “No luck either?”, Jäger asks.

“No. She also went right past couple and directly to marriage. Maybe we should stop hanging out together.”

“That only works if we’re not sleeping in the same room. Feel free to book one for yourself because I’m definitely staying for free.”

“Why so optimistic, did you actually manage to score a romantic public bathroom blow job?”

“Ah, not yet. But I’m still looking.” Jäger takes another sip from his brightly coloured drink as if he hasn’t had enough the previous night, and lets his gaze travel through the room, allowing for Doc to study him in peace. He’s actually not bad company, a bit immature at times but even Doc got caught up in splashing around in the sea earlier, and he entertained him by explaining exactly how he could take all the electronics in their room apart to construct a microwave, thus allowing him to microwave Nutella to the perfect consistency to eat it with a spoon directly out of the jar. Doc stated that he’d just need to put the jar out in the sun or change the thermostat in their room and Jäger called him a spoilsport in return. He really isn’t that bad. It could be worse.

“Marius”, he says pensively and is immediately granted Jäger’s full attention, “do you… want to go back to our room?”

He doesn’t understand at first, reacts with confusion at Doc’s odd tone of voice but once he gets it, his eyes widen. Nodding eagerly, he attempts to finish his drink and answer simultaneously, resulting in a coughing fit which leaves Doc grinning.

The grin fades as soon as they shut the door behind them.

They don’t even manage to undress fully before Doc is buried to the hilt, and so Jäger gets to try his hand at multitasking once more, this time pulling it off without a hitch: he’s riding, taking off his shirt and moaning filth at the same time while Doc grabs two handfuls of his plump backside and meets his movements, idly wondering just how thick the walls between rooms are.

.

It ends up being almost compulsive. They try their best to find other activities, join people they don’t know in beach volleyball or badminton, go swimming every day, take walks, browse the internet on their phones or on Jäger’s laptop, but there’s a surprising amount of hours in the day and some of them actually make it impossible to leave their air-conditioned room because they’re entirely too hot. So they really have no other choice.

Soon, the other guests’ reactions to merely seeing them span a wide range, among them outright disgust, knowledgable smirks and supportive smiles. One retiree even approaches them with a mischievous grin and lets them know he’d be up for a threesome if they’re looking, but Doc quickly sends him away before Jäger can even think about agreeing.

It happens more than once that Doc finds himself on their bed, Jäger entirely too loud while on his hands and knees before him with a frothing mixture of what Doc identifies to be his own come as well as the coconut oil they’ve grown fond of using dripping down his scrotum and he doesn’t even have the energy to be scandalised anymore. He’s accepted his fate by now, and if his fate is to survive a gruellingly carnal sex holiday, then so be it.

He’s stopped trying to correct people who call Jäger his husband. He even makes the mistake of signing a postcard his friend sends back to Hereford.

.

“So, how was your vacation?”, Blitz asks with a shit eating grin while they’re having lunch, sharing a curry IQ made which drew both the GSG9 as well as the GIGN operators together, resulting in six expectant faces turning to Doc and Jäger at the question.

“It was really fucking hot”, Jäger replies like an idiot and Doc wishes him physical harm.

“I bet it was”, Bandit mutters into his meal and earns a few snorts.

“You definitely look more relaxed than before”, Blitz takes over again, not wanting the conversation to derail this soon.

“Do I?” Doc certainly doesn’t feel more relaxed, his muscles are aching and his penis is still sore.

“Yeah, you’re positively glowing. So you both enjoyed yourselves?”

“Or each other, more like.” Bandit again. And that is it.

It can’t be that no one is taking Doc seriously, not when he stoops to actually holding a funeral speech for a fucking rabbit for his colleagues, not when he’s sweated and bled and worked himself raw for them. It’s ridiculous, absolutely absurd and, frankly, insulting. He can only imagine the reactions were he to actually start dating someone else and it’s bad enough he has to deal with his family thinking they’re together because they refuse to listen as well and why in the world is his dick hard. No, really. Why. This is probably the most inopportune -

“Did you make the curry with coconut milk?”, Jäger wants to know from IQ and judging by the vague panic in his expression, Doc surmises that he’s in a similar state. And oh. Does this mean he can never eat or smell coconut again without getting a boner? “I, uh, just need to go to the bathroom real quick.”

And while Jäger flees, Doc feels his own erection twitch in his pants. “Yeah”, he says distractedly, “me too.”

The snickering follows him all the way to the bathroom door and yet is soon forgotten. Seems like he’s not too tired for now.

[av-ryan]

TEXTS; AV & RONAN

JULY

Ronan Ryan

How do you feel about arcade games and singing animatronic birds?

AV Ryan

Sounds like heaven, why?

Ronan Ryan

There's a couple places here I want to check out. Somewhere called Tropicz, and then a Mr. Cheezies?

AV Ryan

Sounds sublime, I'm in. I'm not gonna lie tho, Mr. Cheezies sounds like a broke Chuck E Cheese.

Ronan Ryan

That's exactly what it is actually

I'm not sure there's anywhere else with an arcade here though

AV Ryan

Hey, I'm not complaining, can't be be worse than the actual Chuck E Cheese we used to go to back home

Ronan Ryan

Exactly!

I'm excited to see how many games I can destroy you at

AV Ryan

I guess there's only one way to find out

Ronan Ryan

I guess so. You busy tomorrow yet?

AV Ryan

You ask that like I have a life.

I'm not busy and we should definitely hang.

Ronan Ryan

Just making sure. Let's go tomorrow then! Maybe hit up a bar while we're out?

AV Ryan

You sure you’ll survive someone else making our drinks?

Ronan Ryan

It's for a job application

AV Ryan

Well you can apply, I’m going to drink.

Ronan Ryan

Sounds good! You need a DD anyway

What do you think of the place so far?

AV Ryan

I mean I’m not allergic to walking, The beds are nice? And the campus isn’t bad? What about you?

Ronan Ryan

If you want to walk, we can walk

that's fine. It's okay. It's weird being out of Texas but I'm surviving.

AV Ryan

Yeah let’s walk, it’s nice outside. I don’t you just love summer? We need to get you past surviving and into thriving ASAP.

Ronan Ryan

Cool, walking it is then. Summer's alright, I'm excited for it to cool down though. The beach is so fucking nice though. There's a stretch of it on campus.

I'll get there, AV. But thanks for caring.

AV Ryan

I haven't been yet, but I'll take your word for it.

Well we look out for each other right?

Ronan Ryan

Always.

AV Ryan

See you later for dinner. Don't forget my cigarettes.

Ronan Ryan

[ loved this ]

Ronan Ryan

I'm gonna need you to come remove the gum from my bed frame.

AV Ryan

I didn't fucking do it.

Ronan Ryan

I'm not blaming you for Simon's actions but he was in my room last night because you triggered him out AV.

AV Ryan

That's fair. Fuck. It's been sitting there all night?

Ronan Ryan

It has.

it's gross

AV Ryan

I guess I'll come now to take it off. And raid your pantry since I know you went shopping yesterday

Ronan Ryan

Fine but don't touch my soda bread.

Let me get my roommate to open the door, I'm not in right now.

I really should just give you a key.

AV Ryan

Fine I won't take all of your soda bread. Okay, cool. But yeah, you really should just give me one.

Ronan Ryan

We'll see

excited for later?

AV Ryan

What's later?

Ronan Ryan

Ouchhh.

I'll direct your attention to the top of the thread.

AV Ryan

I know, I'm just fucking with you. Hell yeah I'm excited!

Ronan Ryan

I know

Me too. I wonder if they'll let us on stage with the birds.

AV Ryan

I'd love to see them try and stop us.

Ronan Ryan

Let's do it

AV Ryan

Fuck yeah. So how was Sloan & Co last night, did I fuck up?

Ronan Ryan

Sloan & Co

Uh, it was fine. I think. Aside from the gum. Simon insisted on sleeping on the floor but when Sloan fronted they actually got in bed.

AV Ryan

I should copyright that shit.

Okay cool. Sierra cussed me out this morning first thing

Ronan Ryan

Fuck

I'm glad I slept through that. She made me coffee

AV Ryan

As long as Sloan's not actually mad at me, I think I'm good.

Ronan Ryan

I think you're good, don't worry about it.

You just wanted everyone together.

AV Ryan

See? I knew you fucking got it.

Ronan Ryan

I did, yeah. From now on we'll just keep family activities to things everyone wants to do, to avoid a repeat.

AV Ryan

That's cool with me. I was not feeling the strip club anyway. In retrospect - fuck them strippers.

Ronan Ryan

Lmao. Still pissed about the alien conversation?

AV Ryan

It might still be a touchy subject but I’m 83% over it

Ronan Ryan

Aliens 10000% exist.

There's no way they don't.

AV Ryan

I just wanted to talk, I don’t care if they agree or not. But like I said I’m over it. 91% now

Ronan Ryan

That's fair. Cool you're over it though. It was fun debating it

AV Ryan

I’ll be at 100% by the time we go out later.

Ronan Ryan

Cool, sounds good. Thanks for getting the gum off for me.

AV Ryan

Yeah no problem.

Ronan Ryan

Did you know there are people that actually want to be benchpressed?

AV Ryan

Is this a trick question?

Ronan Ryan

No, I didn't know that was a thing

AV Ryan

People especially love it when it's from a person in uniform

Ronan Ryan

Oh, okay. That's strange. Anyway, ready to head out?

AV Ryan

Why does someone want you to benchpress them?

Yep. I'm ready.

Ronan Ryan

I don't think they want me to do it specifically.

They just mentioned asking someone before and getting turned down

AV Ryan

Well mentioning it randomly is kind of weird.

Ronan Ryan

Feeling okay today, AV?

AV Ryan

I’m amazing today. You?

Ronan Ryan

I'm great

had a little bit of a headache earlier but the gym and some painkillers helped that.

AV Ryan

Last night was super chill Roe

Ronan Ryan

It was a nice time! I enjoyed it.

We should do it again

AV Ryan

Mr. Cheezies? Not so much, Tropicz hell yea! Those birds are my jam!

Ronan Ryan

Not a fan?

The birds were so cool. It's so stupid they don't let you on stage. I wanted a picture

AV Ryan

Next time we jump on stage we need to take a picture right quick, before they’re able to tell us to get down

Yeah I’m good on the Cheezies

Ronan Ryan

Absolutely. We'll do that next time.

I'm hoping the Flag is somewhere I'll be comfortable working though, and with better quality top shelf

AV Ryan

Fuck yeah. We’ll find out tonight, right?

Ronan Ryan

Yes! I'm excited

I'll sneak you free drinks and everything.

AV Ryan

You ain’t gonna get any complaints from me

Ronan Ryan

I know

all the more reason to come by right?

AV Ryan

If my codependence wasn’t enough? Yessir!

Ronan Ryan

That's fair

AV Ryan

It’s just been so long since I’ve been around everyone. I didn’t realize how much I miss you guys.

Ronan Ryan

I missed you too, and I know the others did too. If you need to talk or anything I'm h We're all together again now though, and that's what matters.

AV Ryan

That's all that matters.

Ronan Ryan

Hey, AV. How are you?

AV Ryan

(shrug emoji) you?

Ronan Ryan

Shoulder hurts a little but otherwise I'm good

AV Ryan

Sunburnt?

Ronan Ryan

Yes

Which is beyond me.

AV Ryan

Oh come on, you knew that was gonna happen.

Ronan Ryan

I thought two layers would be enough

I'll just wear a shirt next time

AV Ryan

Or stay in the shade

Ronan Ryan

I'd rather get a sunburn

The beach is meant for swimming

AV Ryan

You’re just a glutton for punishment are you?

Ronan Ryan

I guess you could say that

AV Ryan

Especially doing this perfect match thing. Though I’m not gonna lie, I was going to do it but forgot

Ronan Ryan

Listen, I ran five miles this morning

I'm so nervous

You should have done it

AV Ryan

Well you literally get to him pick your partner right? At least there is not gonna be any surprises right?

I bet the run was gorgeous as fuck though

Ronan Ryan

It's more rejecting and/or being rejected

It was, it was right at sunrise

AV Ryan

Oh that’s easy, if someone rejects you I’ll just kick their ass. And if someone gives you grief for rejecting them, I’ll just kick their ass. It’s as simple as that.

Ronan Ryan

Thanks, AV. I'd kick someone's ass for you too.

AV Ryan

Oh I fucking know you would. It’s a good thing I taught you how to fight

Ronan Ryan

It is. Easily one of my favorite memories.

AV Ryan

You've got a mean right hook

Ronan Ryan

We should get together in a boxing ring together sometime

AV Ryan

I've been off my game, but I can still kick your ass

Ronan Ryan

I've been on my game, and I'm very sure you can't.

AV Ryan

We could always make it interesting

Ronan Ryan

What are you proposing?

AV Ryan

A bet for the winner of a boxing match

Ronan Ryan

Alright, I'm in. What's the bet?

AV Ryan

Winner gets to choose the other's phone lockscreen for a month

Ronan Ryan

Deal! I'll go ahead and start looking.

When do you want to do this?

AV Ryan

I don't have shit to do so whenever

Ronan Ryan

Let's do it today, before that barbecue thing. We can use the ice water for any bruises.

AV Ryan

I heard there's a whole ass boxing ring somewhere on campus, let's do it there

Ronan Ryan

There is, it's in the gym.

You're on.

AV Ryan

Fantastic

Ronan Ryan

[ backdated ] Hey, AV! Is it cool if I give Miriam your number? She wants it.

AV Ryan

Your roommate? Yeah, I don't care

Ronan Ryan

Yup. Cool.

Ronan Ryan | 🔵

Sea Kayaking is scary

the entire time I was doing it, I kept planning an escape in case it turned over.

But anyway, how was your day?

AV Ryan

But it was also a good time? Productive. But now I’m tired but at least I took care of my VA things and hopefully my benefits start rolling in again, then I won’t have to keep asking you for money. How was your day?

Ronan Ryan | 🔵

Yeah! It was a lot of fun.

I give you a hard time, but I don't mind AV.

I stocked up on cool ranch doritos too, so help yourself.

It was good. One of those match things hit me up.

AV Ryan

You had me at cool ranch Doritos, thanks Roe Yeah? How’d it go?

Ronan Ryan | 🔵

You're welcome. How do you feel about the school so far?

It went okay. He seems nice.

AV Ryan

I don’t think my opinion has really changed since we first got here like the rooms are fine and the food is fine. I guess we’ll see how classes go once they start… you?

Ronan Ryan | 🔵

No worries. I just wanted to make sure you're good. Mine's still the same too.

AV Ryan

I’m supposed to be having dinner with someone later this week. She’s someone I knew in Hawaii. Think you can help me make something?

Ronan Ryan | 🔵

Yeah, of course. Always. Does she have any allergies? Or is there something you had in mind to make?

AV Ryan

To be honest I don’t know and I kind of don’t want to ask? Let’s just like go with the safe options no seafood, no nuts, yada yada yada

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

Alright

I got you. When do you need it by?

AV Ryan

Tomorrow, I think.

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

No problem

AV Ryan

Thanks, Roe

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

[ loved this ]

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

Do you want to come over for a movie later? Just us?

AV Ryan

Sure, what movie?

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

Um, maybe a comedy? Step Brothers?

AV Ryan

Yeah alright. You good?

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

I'm doing great. Are you?

AV Ryan

Not great, but fine

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

Do you need to talk? We can skip the movie? I'm here for you, AV. We all are.

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

croc poptarts.jpg

I wonder if these actually exist

AV Ryan

The flavor looks awful

Ronan Ryan | 🔴It does

good thing it's fake!

Along with a lot of other grosser flavors.

AV Ryan

It's funny as hell though

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

It is. There was another one called Swamp with Shrek on it.

AV Ryan

I fucking love Shrek

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

I haven't seen Shrek in forever

AV Ryan

We should watch that next time.

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

We should, definitely! Which movie is your favorite?

AV Ryan

Besides Love Actually? Probably Speed. That’s a classic

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

No like, which Shrek movie?

AV Ryan

Oh. The first one, definitely

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

Good to know about Speed though. I haven't seen it, so maybe that's something else we could watch too.

AV Ryan

Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves before their careers really took off. It’s amazing.

AUGUST

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

Hey, AV. Want to go out together again, when I'm not working? I kind of miss the birds, strangely enough.

AV Ryan

Yeah whenever, you know me always free

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

Cool. Did you see the new list of locations too? There's a Texas food truck

AV Ryan

Oh no I didn’t hear that. It’s like Brahma heard and answered my prayers

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

It's down at the beach, but it's going to be on campus every Friday!

AV Ryan

Well see if they serve authentic Mexican food too

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

Hey, they might. Want to go check it out with me tomorrow?

AV Ryan

[backdated] Yeah, I’m down

[ac-ars]

everyone needs a therapist

i am currently writing one thing, having another on my mind and     yet this happened: one hour of my life and zero proofreading, 

anyway i dont know what is the purpose of this thing, i dont know why i wrote it or what even, but it had been fun so i hope you do have fun too 

this shit is short so dont worry here lol please remember i have no idea about any actual therapist and what i wrote below is just a fic ok

everyone needs a therapist

“So you say you don’t have anyone to talk about your life?” He asks her, sitting with crossed legs, looking at her from above his black glasses, sometimes throwing glances at the paper he is holding.

“I don’t need a therapist.” She pouts and scrunches her nose, watching how he shakes his head. “Everyone needs a therapist, my dear.” He fixes his glasses. “Okay then, they say you don’t have anyone to talk about your life and recent life events, is that any more right?”

Luna sighs dramatically and nods. “I just don’t want to talk to them about that, you know?”

He smiles, lacing his fingers on his lap. “Well then, they pay me for that, but my name is Matteo and I am going to make you talk to me eventually.”

“Let’s start at the beginning.” Matteo hums. “You are Luna Valente and you come from Buenos Aires, but after the fire in your parents house, you were taken to the Mexico City, when Valentes adopted you?”

Luna crosses her arms and nods. “Why do you want to torture me?”

“Because they paid me for this,” he laughs. “And because I see some issues here.”

“They have issues, could you please just let me go?”

He grins, flipping the paper. “No. First we need to get over those sixty minutes for today.” He throws quick look at the watch on his wrist. “Actually, now it’s just 55 minutes, we are going so fast!” Hearing his fake-excited voice, Luna covers her face and growls. This is gonna be a mess.

“No offense, like don’t take it personal, but the whole Sol/Luna name thing is kinda dumb.” He gives her small hum and Luna opens her mouth wide to say something, but no words can leave. It is kinda silly. Silly yes, dumb no.

“One can’t pick their name really.”

Matteo looks at her with something serious in the eyes. “Are you Luna or are you Sol then?”

She straightens her spine taking deep breath and stares shook at him. She has no idea. She has always been Luna, but now when she got to finally find out who her parents were, she has no idea who she is. She still is sure of Miguel and Monica being her parents, yet at the same time her biological parents are knows. She has their names and last names, pictures of them.

The only thing Luna is sure of, is that she doesn’t like this guy Matteo for making her feel all of this stuff at once. “My name is Luna,” she says and it doesn’t really sound like she is certain.

“I know your name, Luna. What I asked was who you are.”

She shakes her head. “I am done.” He only laughs.

“You are 22 years old, so like they made you change your home, university and like, everything?” Matteo asks softly, playing with his glasses he took off few minutes ago.

“Yes.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Yes? That’s all?”

“What else do you want to hear?” Luna bites inside of her cheek leaning her head against the armrest of this big armchair he has in the office. He chuckles. “Maybe how do you feel about it?”

“Well, this sucks obviously. My… aunt,” she hesitates before saying her blood connection to Sharon Benson, or whatever her last name was before she took it. “She made me move here, live in this weird house and I don’t even know the purpose. Wasn’t it just easier to let me live in Mexico? She would have her money and all of this stuff she really likes.”

“I don’t know. Rich people want weird shit as their heads are filled with it.”

Luna giggles. “Aren’t you supposed to use all formal, smart words and not trash others?”

He shakes his head. “I am here trying to find some common language with you, so you have it easier, less stressful to talk to me. Open up.”

She sighs. “Rich people want weird shit as their heads are filled with it indeed.”

“Let’s proceed to your aunt. What do you think about her?”

Luna takes deep breath before letting all air out with loud sound and wide opened eyes. “I shouldn’t say this all out loud.”

Matteo nods, writing something on this weird paper he always puts into light blue folder named Luna Valente - observations. It kinda feels like she is in some more serious thing than therapist, or whatever he calls himself, but he promised to show it to her on their very last session so she will take it.

“Okay then. Do you like something in her? Anything?”

She bites her lower lip softly. “I guess she has nice…, hm, I don’t know. She is very determined? And hardworking I guess. And I admire her ability to manage all those headaches without painkillers.”

Matteo snorts. “I guess those all count. Now tell me what you don’t like in her.”

“Her personality.” Luna blurts and he drops his pencil laughing.

“Do you have any friends here in Buenos Aires?” He asks, scratching the tip of his nose with end of the pencil.

“I am not sure really. I have been for just a few weeks and I met just few people.”

“But you started attending classes at your university. So you have had to meet someone at least nice.” The brunette shrugs and Matteo sighs, not saying anything for few minutes and Luna is almost sure he has no idea what to say. He always does, though. “Your friends in Mexico. Tell me about them.”

Luna throws her head back against the back of her armchair. “I had one best friend, his name is Simón and he wanted to come with me here, but he got into one of better bands in Cancun so he’s been busy.”

“Would you talk to him about this whole thing if he were here or at least not busy?” Matteo raises his eyebrow at her and she has to admit that as weird as his questions are, they are somehow the same questions she’s been asking herself since she left the airplane to Argentina.

“I guess yeah. I would. And he wouldn’t take money for that.” She winks jokingly at Matteo, who shakes his head noting another thing. “He wouldn’t help you as I do, believe me.”

“Oh really?” She asks, throwing her legs over the armrest.

“Of course. Friends do tend to keep you in your comfort zone, trying to make you feel better. I, on the contrary, am here to take you as far from your comfort zone as it’s possible and it is gonna help you in some way.”

Luna blinks surprised. “You are very mean person doing that.”

“They pay me for this,” he smiles. “Next question.”

“The goddaughter of your aunt. What do you think of her?”

Luna snorts. “Ambar? She creeps me out.” Matteo frowns at first, and then laughs a little. “And why does she creep you out, like you put it in the words?”

“She always looks at me like she will get into my apartment at night through the balcony I surely left closed, and kill me in my sleep.” She shrugs when he looks at her surprised. Ambar gives everyone this vibe, so it doesn’t really mean anything. It might be as well just an impression, as the blonde girl wants to keep it all for herself, when someone else entered her great world filled with jewelry and fancy brunches.

“That’s… very strange description. But maybe something else? Something that isn’t really obvious, but you noticed it anyway. Something that wouldn’t tell how much she wants to murder someone.”

The Valente shrugs again. “I don’t know. She has a thing for texting her friends furiously when Sharon doesn’t say what Ambar wants. She always reminds that my name is Luna, when someone calls me Sol, which I’m really grateful for anyway.”

“Something else?”

Luna smiles. “She likes to hit Rey, who works for our aunt, when she flips her hair.”

“Rey is also a creep.” She blurts. “He always wears this weird black suit, I hope he owns more than one and does the laundry.”

Matteo frowns. “Luna, the fact that someone wears only black, doesn’t mean that they are a creep.” Mentioned Luna shakes her head. “You didn’t let me finish. He gives the vibe of a guy who would search teenager’s bedroom and when he is close to get caught, he decides to hide under the bed to wait until the person leaves. Well, it could be just me.”

“I guess this I should tell to your aunt, because this sounds alarming, but let’s ignore this as long as there is no teenager living at your aunt’s mansion. Tell me something else about people working there.”

Luna curls on the armchair almost like to nap. It’s definitely too comfy there. “I guess Amanda is super close to, or super fresh after having some problems with her head. She gets scared whenever someone gets into the kitchen, jumps at every louder sound and she keeps whispering everywhere.”

“Why do you think she is acting like this?”

She takes her hands under her cheek. “If I lived so long with miss Sharon, Rey and Ambar, I would have had problems as well.”

“What a lovely surprise, Luna. You are here two minutes earlier, this is definitely your record.” He grins taking a fresh paper sheet from his desk drawer.

“I finally guessed that the faster we get over it, the better.”

“I am sure you just couldn’t wait to see me,” Matteo says, scribbling something already and Luna shakes her head. “I thought you guys can’t flirt with people during the sessions.”

She grins seeing that he rolls his eyes very obviously at her. “I did not mean it like that. I am simply sure I am the only person who is able to have a conversation with you on some decent level and you really needed someone like that.”

“Okay, so can I pick today’s topic?” The brunette asks and he blinks at her surprised. “Yeah, sure. That sounds lovely.”

“I miss my parents.” She sits on the armchair, dramatically letting her purse fall to the floor nearby. “My aunt is an asshole and didn’t let them come with me here and there is still much mess with the lawyers and the money so I can’t go to see them.”

Matteo takes deep breath with some unreadable face, looking at her. “Well, this is normal, human reaction at those events.”

“It’s not really about that. At least not completely. I just can’t still take this shit to myself that I know who my real parents are, but don’t feel that big connection to them, you know? Is there something with me?”

“It’s not like you have some memories with them. You had been raised by Valentes so it’s, again, normal reaction.”

Luna sighs, sitting cross-legged on the armchair. “Will it change or will I be forever lost in the space, not knowing what even and my aunt will be sending me to another and another therapist to fix my brain?”

“Maybe next time you should bribe Ambar with some jewelry and sent your aunt to some therapist instead? Just not to me please, I have seen much, but I’m never sure if I would be able to help that woman ever.”

“I am hungry, can we finish earlier today?” She asks with small whine, because she ran here straight from uni and he kept making her uncomfortable for already very long twenty minutes.

“I think we can stay ten minutes more, and then add the other thirty to the next session.” Matteo nods few times with raised eyebrows, waiting for her decision. Luna almost jumps and fixes her t-shirt. “There is no way I would stay with you a hour, and a half and no break. I will have extra dinner later.” She freezes a little for a second. “Unless you are free and we can just order pizza here or go for pizza.”

“Hunger speaks through you very weirdly. I guess we can just add ten minutes to next three sessions, if you are so against more talking than needed.”

“Don’t you wanna go for pizza with me?” She asks jokingly and he puts the folder with the paper on his desk. “I don’t really meet any of my patients outside my office.”

“Well, for now I am your patient, but I am also patient person.” Matteo blinks at her shook. “You just didn’t.” Luna starts giggling loudly and hides her face in her elbow. “I did and I haven’t seen your face so surprised before. And I’ve said many weird things.

It’s the last session, the very last day she sees Matteo and he is wearing pretty nice, light blue shirt and he looks surprisingly well in it. He is talking some summing up shit, some kind of summary after the whole therapy and she feels light in a way she didn’t before.

His notes about her are very messy; in some Luna can’t really find herself, while others are so on point, she can’t believe. Most of the stuff she never mentioned, yet he caught them all, lowkey sweeping her off her feet and it’s weird feeling to have someone who knows you so much, while you know exactly nothing about them.

There are some words underlined as progress and some have this arrow directed downwards, which, she guesses, are bad, yet there is not many of them.

He keeps pointing at some additions to the notes, adds his conclusions and entire hour passes faster than she thought. The funniest thing is that she never noticed any change in herself until he did let her open the folder.

The last sheet of paper, though, at the very end, has written Luna’s pout is very cute and it confuses her so much she looks at Matteo, whose eyes are turned to the watch on his wrist.

“What-” the brunette intends to ask, but he stops her with his other hand up. “Wait.”

She keeps her stare at him, getting even more and more lost, until he turns to her. “Okay, the last session just ended. What about the pizza now?”

[builder051]

It’s the final countdown...

We done did it!  22 stories for 22 asks from the 100 Prompts List!!!

@summerblosoms requested #91 (yay for the only DIY pick).  They said,

“If you could make Spencer have something along the lines of appendicitis and be really sick that would be great.  Like have him faint at work or something from being so sick.”

Your wish is my command!  This is probably slightly medically inaccurate.  I’m basing it on what I think I  know about Harry Houdini (which is not a lot).

Bear with me; it’s a bit long.

___

“Are you sure you’re ok?” JJ asks.

Spencer pauses as he slides into the backseat of the black SUV, trying not to wince as the change in position agitates his stomach.

“You took a hard hit back there.  I wish you would’ve let the paramedics check you out.”  JJ holds the car door open and watches Spencer shakily fasten his seatbelt.

“I’m ok,” he says.  He’s been saying it for hours now.  After the unsub had punched him in the gut, to the police and firefighters surrounding the scene, and a thousand times on the flight back home to Quantico.  “I just need to wait for it to bruise and start healing.”

JJ sighs and gives him a sad smile.  “At least come by my desk and get some Aleve.  You…look like you’re having a hard enough time.”

“Yeah, ok,” Spencer replies.  He waits for JJ to shut the door and climb into the SUV’s front seat, then leans back and shuts his eyes. The pink inflamed skin on the right side of his abdomen is tender to the touch of anything from his fingers to his shirt, and the dazed nausea that follows such a hard hit still lingers.  He’s sure nothing’s damaged, though.  The pain he feels isn’t the sharpness of a fracture in his rib or hip bone.  Just generalized discomfort.  That’s currently making him feel like he needs to vomit.  But he’s fine.

The ride from the airstrip back to the office is short, made to feel shorter by the sleepy darkness outside.  It’s after 11 at night, and while the agents are used to odd hours, it doesn’t make the prospect of sleepy paperwork any more inviting.

“Just do the minimum,” Hotch says when everyone piles out of the elevator and heads to their desks.  “Only the most important paperwork.  Get things written down while they’re fresh in your mind.  Then go home.”  He makes eye contact with each team member to ensure understanding.  “And sleep in tomorrow.  I’ll call if another case drops.”

Spencer trudges to his chair and opens a drawer of files.  He selects blank case report forms and a pen, then sighs and bends over the desktop.  The position forces his ribcage to put pressure on his stomach, and exterior pain and interior nausea combine in swirling uneasiness.

He works on the papers for a few minutes.  He’s forcibly reminded of being a child in school, scribbling out answers on worksheets while trying to hide an upset stomach lest he be sent to the nurse’s office.  He’d been eight years old.  And he’d thrown up all over his math workbook.

But that’s not the situation now.  Spencer’s an adult.  Case reports are immensely more important than arithmetic problems, and he should be focusing.  So what if he’s hurting a little bit?  He can’t let small things distract him.  It doesn’t even hurt that much.  He’s fine.

“Spence?”  JJ’s at his shoulder with a bottle of pills and a Styrofoam cup of metallic-tasting tap water.  “Here.”  She portions out a dose of naproxen sodium and hands it over.  Her soft fingers linger for a moment on Spencer’s clammy palm.  He draws back and tosses the pill down his throat, mostly dry-swallowing it before gulping down the water as a chaser.

“It’s ok if you’re hurting, you know,” JJ murmurs.

“I’m ok.”  Spencer really wishes he has something else to say.

One by one, the agents take their leave.  Garcia promises donuts and lattes in the morning to make up for the late night.  Hotch tells her to stop spending her own money on the team, but the blithe tech analyst just whips out a pom-pom topped pen and scribbles down everyone’s usual Starbucks order.

“Americano with way too many sugars?” she asks when she makes her round to Spencer’s desk.

It is his usual favorite, but right now it sounds revolting.  Spencer tries not to let it show in his voice when he says, “Yeah.  Sure.”

“What’s wrong?” Garcia asks immediately, her mouth turning down in an expression of concern.

“Nothing, I’m fine,” Spencer lies again.

“Hey, but, no, no you’re not.”  Garcia puts a hand on Spencer’s shoulder.  “You feeling ok?  I heard you got beat up…”

“Yeah, I’m just kind of tired,” Spencer says.

“Then get out of here.”  Hotch approaches on Spencer’s other side.  He has his briefcase in hand and his coat over his arm as if he’s on the way out the door himself.  “Really, with a memory like yours, you can work all your forms in the morning.”

Normally, Spencer would humbly agree.  It’s usually not a challenge to recall past events with a good degree of exactitude.  Now, though, everything seems fuzzy.  Except for the memory of the gloved fist coming into slow-motion contact with Spencer’s side before he’d had the opportunity to don a bulletproof vest or draw a weapon.

“I will,” Spencer says.  “In just a minute.  I really want to get this first page done…”  He looks down at his sloppy scribbles and the two or three blank spaces still remaining on the sheet.

“I’ll take your word for it,” Hotch says, giving Spencer a serious nod.  “If I find out you’ve stayed here halfway through the night, we’ll have to talk about you working yourself too hard.”

“Yes, sir,” Spencer articulates.

“I’ll get you an extra-special donut,” Garcia promises.  Worry flickers in her eyes for a second, but Spencer pulls a pained smile that seems to placate her enough to take her leave.

Finally all the other agents are gone.  Spencer lowers his head to his desk, ignoring the greasy forehead print he’s leaving on the case file.  He should go home.  He wants more than anything to sleep.  But his gut is brewing a queasy feeling that ricochets off the pain in his stomach and shoots up to his skull.  Because a headache to match his stomachache is exactly what he needs right now.

Standing up and walking and sitting and driving and walking and lying down all seem like hassles Spencer’s not equipped to deal with in his current state of misery.  Maybe the painkiller JJ gave him will kick in soon and relieve some of the awful, swirling stress.  He’ll shut his eyes, just for a moment…

Spencer starts awake and sits up abruptly.  He’s still in his office chair, and papers and files leave creases in his clammy cheek. Dizziness assaults him as soon as he’s upright.  The lamp on his desk is on, but all other lights in the bullpen are extinguished.

The lighted dial on his watch tells Spencer it’s a bit after 4 in the morning.  He’s slept some, but in an uncomfortable position.  He’s still less than rested.  Spencer scrubs his hands over his face, his fingertips tingling as they drag over stubble on their way up to his hairline.  His whole body feels sweaty and just shy of disgusting.  A feverish ache thrums in his temples, and pain lances up and out from his stomach.

It’s too late to go home.  But it’s also too early to do anything else.  On a normal day, agents generally start filing in around 7.  But after yesterday’s late night and the promise of a less-than-early start, Spencer doubts he’ll see anyone before 8:30.  So really, he does have time to go home, shower, sleep, and come back.  He abandons the idea when the motion to stand up has him swallowing down bile.

There’s still a clean shirt in his go-bag, so Spencer digs it out and heads for the bathroom to change.  He’ll take every precaution if it means he can avoid his fellow agents knowing that he’s spent the night here.  Spencer uses his shoulder to open the heavy washroom door, and the motion-detected light snaps on as soon as he’s crossed the threshold.

He squints against the brightness, but Spencer can clearly see that he looks awful.  He slips out of his cardigan and unbuttons his white oxford shirt.  He sheds his undershirt, wads up the fabric, and uses it to dab oiliness and sweat from his face.  Then he turns his attention to the patch of blushed purple spreading over the right side of his abdomen.

The skin isn’t broken, but it’s inflamed with the slight puffiness that surrounds healing cuts.  Blood has seeped under the skin to show up as a reddish-violet shadow that’s sure to darken to all colors of black and blue and green as it heals.  Spencer dabs at the injury, and searing heat follows the touch of his fingers.  His skin hurts on the outside, and something definitely hurts on the inside. Spencer’s stomach clenches, and he wonders if he’s going to throw up as he stands there, clutching the counter with one hand and praying he doesn’t fall over.

Pain signals often redirect to nausea.  It’s unfortunate, but not uncommon.  But Spencer feels sick too.  Not just to his stomach, but all over.  Tender aches creep into his lower back and up and down to the joints of his arms and legs.  His head’s wanging.  But that might be from dehydration.  Besides the sip of water Spencer took along with the painkillers last night, he doesn’t know when he last drank.  Or ate.  But he feels so far from hunger it’s almost comical.

Spencer scoops water from the bathroom faucet and splashes it over his face.  He uses a couple paper towels to dry off and wipe perspiration from under his arms.  Satisfied that he’s as clean as he’s going to get, he shakes the wrinkles out of his fresh shirt and buttons it over his bare chest, cringing as the starched fabric brushes his injury.

He exits the bathroom and drops his dirty clothes in his go-bag.  Then Spencer glances around for something to keep him occupied for the next few hours.  He considers going back to the case file, but too much work done on it will arouse suspicion and potentially alert his co-workers to the fact that he’s been here all night.  Spencer’s eyes alight on the coffeemaker, and though the idea of putting anything in his stomach is still revolting, at least sipping will be something to do.  And perhaps the caffeine will get him feeling back like himself.  Or at least make a dent in the headache.

He returns to his desk once he has a steaming foam cup in his trembling hand.  The first sip feels energizing as Spencer swallows it, but it doesn’t taste good.  More sweat breaks out across his moustache, and the heat of his bruise flares as the liquid drips into his stomach.

Heaving a deep sigh, Spencer opens his desk drawer and paws around for anything worth passing time with.  He pulls out one of Rossi’s books and stares down at the face of his friend and fellow agent on the dust jacket.  Spencer’s read it before, and he recalls most of the main points, but he opens it anyway and begins to read.  He goes intentionally slowly, hearing Rossi’s voice in each word.  Spencer’s used to reading for content alone, and he has to admit that the hours passed moving his gaze at a snail’s pace across the page is a welcome change.  Or at least it is until his eyes start to lose focus and nausea begins creeping up on him again.

Overly sweet and coffee-flavored spit floods Spencer’s mouth.  He sets the book on the desktop where it flops shut, losing his page. He brings both hands up to cover his nose and lips and sucks in a long breath that does little to soothe the bubbling tumult in his stomach.  Heat flashes over Spencer’s skin, and his hands and feet feel unnaturally cold and damp.

He stumbles up and trips toward the bathroom as his liquid stomach contents start to make a reappearance at the back of his throat.  Spencer sprints past the row of sinks and throws himself head-first into the lonely stall.  He retches as soon as his knees hit the ground.  His abdominals contract, igniting lines of lightning-hot pain across his bruised stomach.  Spencer moans into the echoing toilet bowl and spits out strings of mucous.

The fact that there’s little to purge doesn’t stop Spencer’s stomach from turning itself inside out.  He’s empty and aching after a few decent heaves, but dry retching quickly sets in, bringing more pain with each spine-arching contraction.  He wraps his long fingers around the toilet seat and watches his knuckles go white from the bone-crushing pressure.  He’s still so seasick he can barely move.

When the heaves dissolve into hiccups, Spencer shakily pulls himself to his feet, using the toilet paper dispenser for support.  His eyeballs feel like they’re vibrating in their sockets, giving him the overall feeling that the earth is jittering beneath his feet.  He crosses to the counter of sinks and splashes his face again, bringing a handful up to his lips to rinse the disgusting taste of caffeinated bile from his tongue.  

After pressing a paper towel to his ashen skin, Spencer exits the bathroom.  His loose plan is to head back for his desk and curl inward; just standing upright stretches the skin of his stomach and invites the roiling throb to escalate.

All ideas are dashed, though, when he opens the door to see the back of a blonde head and pink-sweatered shoulders bobbing around the desks in the bullpen.

Spencer lets go of the bathroom door without realizing what he’s doing, and the resulting slam jars him as much as it does Garcia.

“Oh my god!” the tech analyst shrieks, dropping the box of donuts in her arms and sending them bouncing across the floor and under Morgan’s desk.  She whips around and looks for the source of the noise.  Her eyes widen behind her brightly colored glasses when she sees Spencer.  “Oh my god,” she repeats.

Garcia’s high heels clack as she rushes to Spencer’s side, but the sound grows fuzzy on its way up to his ears.  Stars start to blink at the corners of his visual field, and Spencer’s head feels heavy and lopsided.  Without warning, the world tips sickeningly, and the ceiling swaps places with the bullpen’s eastern wall.  He blinks hard to see if the illusion will clear.  But it doesn’t, and the back of his head smack against something hard.

“Reid!  Oh, god, sweetheart…”  Warm hands find Spencer’s shoulders, then move up to cup his cheeks.  He forces his eyes open to see Penelope’s blurry face, then doubles instinctively onto his side as a rush of nausea forces itself up and out.

“Ok, you’re ok,” Garcia murmurs, patting Spencer on the back as he throws up spit and air.  Then she changes tact, the panic in her voice escalating.  “You’re not ok.  You’re really sick.”  She palms Spencer’s sweaty forehead.  “You’re really, really sick.”

Spencer coughs and clutches his stomach, grunting in pain when he presses too hard on the wound dominating his right side.

“Your stomach?” Garcia asks.  She reaches down and lifts the tails of Spencer’s untucked shirt to expose the bare skin underneath. “Oh my…” she trails off when she sees the spread of bruising.  “You’re—Reid, I don’t…I’m gonna call an ambulance, ok?”  She lightly palpates the discolored area on his stomach, and Spencer lets out an involuntary cry when her fingers rebound.

“Oh god, that’s right where your appendix is,” she worries.  “If you got hit and it’s all infected…”  Penelope trails off and yanks her neon-encased cell phone from her pocket.  “I’m calling right now.  You’re gonna be ok.”

Spencer hears the phone ringing out a couple times before an operator picks up.  And over the tone, he can hear Garcia whispering, “You’ll be ok.  You have to be ok.”

The ambulance ride and everything after is a blur.  The next thing Spencer knows, he’s in an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar room. He’s groggy, and every inch of his body hurts.  He can see a nasal cannula in his peripheral vision, dispensing oxygen into his tired lungs.  A glance to one side shows an IV stand and heart monitor.  In the other direction is a chair.  Garcia’s slumped against the wall, her eyes closed and mouth open in the posture of uncomfortable upright sleep.

“Garcia?” Spencer wheezes.

“Huh?”  Penelope snaps up, wiping drool from her lip with the back of her hand.  “I said you’d be ok, right?” she says sleepily.

“Yeah.”  Spencer nods.  “Yeah, I think you did.”

[beedujourblog]

OK, so you have all your necessary documents and have landed an ESL job in South Korea! The school has sent a confirmation email after your phone interview and you are sent your flight details. You are ready to go. (As said before I have only ever worked in private language academies, also known as hagwons, however this article can apply to those going to public schools too.)

Anyway, here are 10 tips and important points to know on your arrival in South Korea.  I’m leaving out a lot of other information in this post, but I’ve tried to make this as concise a read as possible.

1. Flights to South Korea

Hmmm….well, most private schools in South Korea are obligated to pay for your flights or round trip airfare. Sometimes, they will ask you to book the flight yourself and they will pay you the flight with your first pay check. The rules state that if you work less than 3 months they can deduct the flight fare from your final pay too. You only receive your return flight home after you have completed a full 12 months. At YBM, even though I was not returning home after my year they still were obligated to give me a flight and so offered to pay for a flight anywhere I wanted so long as it fitted in the budget. I got a free paid flight to Thailand and took a short holiday

Flying time. Back home to Cape Town city. ✈✈☁ with @emirates .. #emirates #dubai #travel #travelblog #travelblogger #travelgirl #travelgoals #instatravel #aeroplane #airplane #emiratesairline #skywardsmember #goinghome #glt #flying #lifestyle #lifestyleblogger #expat #expatlife #capetown #capetownblogger #southafrica #나마공 #트래블 #라이프스타일 #인스타그램 #voyage #travelpics #adventure

A post shared by Bee Du Jour (@beedujour) on Aug 20, 2017 at 8:09am PDT

Now there are nightmare hagwons that cut all corners to be cheap with this one. Thing is you can never know. Some of them only offer a one way, and when it’s time to pay up they offer a “standard amount” that might not even cover your entire one way cost of flight home. Threaten to report them or not, they are just cheap and will most likely not care. It’s a reality. Public schools usually abide by the flight rules.

2. Medical aid in South Korea

Nobody really knows how medical aid works with the E2 visas in Korea, but you will show a card whenever you go to the hospital and then get the fee reduced. Overall, medical stuff is not expensive in Korea. My last cheap hagwon didn’t even offer medical aid, so I had to pay up front. Most medical services were not pricey at all.

3. Should I bring my own money before leaving?

I suggest you do. Most times, the school can lend you some money up front and then deduct it form your first pay check. This is only of it’s a nice academy. How much should you bring? I think, about ZAR5000 will be enough for your first month, until you get paid. What we consider regular groceries such as milk can be really expensive in Korea, unless you can easily eat kimchi until payday.

4. What should I pack for South Korea?

If you are going into their summer, spring seasons then you should be OK, with some of the clothes you have from South Africa. However, if you going into Winter I have to warn you that you will most likely will have to get a good quality coat of jacket over there. We really don’t sell items for the sub zero freezing cold winters you ill experience in Korea.

To say it’s cold is an understatement.

Have you got your winter wardrobe ready? Read where to shop in the city of Seoul, S. Korea on my blog (link in bio) 😥😃👗👖👠👜 #shopping #seoul #southkorea #madeinkorea #koreanfashion #korea #livingabroad #lifestyle #lifestyleblogger #travelblogger #travelasia #fashiontrends #fashionblogger #seoulstyle #travel #leisure #mode #moda #instatravel #서핑 #소핑 #서울 #대한민국 #패션 #라이프스타일 #스타일 #매거진 #동대문 ##트래블 #fashiontrends

A post shared by Bee Du Jour (@beedujour) on Nov 19, 2016 at 8:10pm PST

You should also, probably not pack too much. Shopping in South Korea is amazing to say the least and you can find awesome clothes for each season and really reasonable prices. Make sure you leave room to take stuff home.

5. Need to take your medicine

This is not a bad idea, but each country has their own rules and regulations for certain dosages in medicines. I once took a strong headache tablet on my arrival, and the next day I needed to go for my medical examination for the visa. My blood test showed high levels of a specific ingredient used in my painkiller, and so I failed the test. The doctors said I could either show a valid prescription letter from my doc or re-take the test in 3 days’ time. I obviously re-did the test in 3 day and it was fine. If you are going to bring medicines into South Korea get a prescription letter just in case.

  6. Your new apartment

Usually with a hagwon, you will stay in the apartment of the teacher before you. The school should also ensure that it is cleaned out if they have any decency. Sometimes, they rent an entirely new apartment and those tend to be furnished but without anything such as blanket or pillow in it. You might be dead tired when you land, but you will have to get some basics. A good place is DAISO (my personal fave) where you can get some basics for dead cheap until you find better goods to your liking. If you are left having to furnish the entire place Craigslist Korea has tons of good bargains from other teachers looking to sell their stuff!

Korean apartments are usually small. Space will be an issue.

I got this sofa on craigslist.co.kr for about 20 USD

Have a good Sunday! Some flower deco to cheer me up after an awful week & colour inspo for the season 🌹🍃#automne #autumn #flowers #pink #pinkandwhite #pastel #vase #interiordesign #mint #style #inspiration #colour #아파트 #스타일 #라이프스타일 #핑크 #하이트 #다이소 #서울 #소핑 #패션 #cute #decor #pretty #unwind #민트

A post shared by Bee Du Jour (@beedujour) on Oct 22, 2016 at 6:26pm PDT

7. Medical examination

You will be made to go to the nearby hospital almost immediately or within the same week of your arrival in South Korea to get your medical examination. You need to pass everything to get your E2 visa card. The school should pay for this one. It will take an hour or two and you will most likely have to go to the academy/school immediately to start work or training.

8. When will you start work?

Immediately. Rest and relaxation is for the weekend as you will come to learn in the Far East. If you are lucky you might arrive on one of the very few public holidays in Korea and might get some time to explore and catch up on sleep. Otherwise, you will work, work, work.

“I want English NOW!”

9. Getting a phone

You have two options when getting a phone in Korea. You can get a phone with a contract and pay monthly which will be deducted from your bank account. These phone contracts are usually for 2 years and if you don’t’ plan on staying for 2 years you have to pay the remainder of the next 12 months before you leave. These contracts are pricey, you’re looking at around R700-R800 a month. Or you can just buy a new or second hand phone and then get a pay-as-you-go SIM. Most of Korea has Wifi, so you looking at around R120-R200 a month of data or calls. I used pre-paid and I saved SO MUCH money!

If you want to know where to buy a phone in Seoul or any shopping read my post on Shopping in Seoul.

10. The E2 resident card

You cannot do anything without this card. Once you’ve had your medical examination, and all the papers gathered you will have to visit the immigration office nearby your area to apply for the card. Usually the director or a Korean co-worker will assist you. Once you have this card you can now buy a phone, open up a bank account etc.

  …now to start living in South Korea

The rest you will learn on your own, such as banking, taking public transport (which is amazing in Korea btw), opening up accounts and buying a phone etc. Soon, you will get to make friends too and start learning the real deal about working in Korea and living in this dynamic country. Be sure to watch out for my next post of what it’s like to work in South Korea.

If you want to read more on my experiences in living in Korea and more about where to go and what to do click here.

Or check out my Instagram for tips, events and cool spots to visit. I also know other cool blogger expats living in Korea who have a wealth of information on the current events, tips and news that you can check out too.

Safe travels,

Bee

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10 Arrival Tips for South Korea. What you need to know..esp for #southafricans #southkorea #traveltips #eslteacher OK, so you have all your necessary documents and have landed an ESL job in South Korea!