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#i also sometimes feel like im the only one putting in effort and trying
itmethebee · 8 months
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Wow I hate existing sometimes
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toytulini · 3 months
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Disclaimer im just processing some thoughts im not cancelling the show
have almost thoughts about how i find the like....narrative on here that if you have chronic "zebra" conditions youd want a doctor like House and wouldnt sue for malpractice bc at least youd have a doctor that cares about whats wrong with you but lets take it one step further. so often he does NOT give a shit about the patient and actively endangers them frequently with his god damn heoric era of medicine approach? non zero amount of times he gets a diagnosis but it comes too late, or he gets a diagnosis after their first wrong 3 guesses of the episode shut down the patients kidneys and they either have to get a transplant or they are just, doomed due to other preexisting conditions etc? idk. i know ppl are almost certainly exaggerating and just letting off steam about the very real failures of our current medical systems and the ableism baked in and All That Shit. i just think its weird how ppl romanticize House who STILL, FREQUENTLY, MULTIPLE EPISODES will actively dismiss shit in the exact way that is a problem in our current system, especially when hes being Forced Against His Will To See Clinic Parients, he loves to be dismissive as fuck of symptoms and if he was a real doctor i think he'd be fucking 50/50 on cases he Notices Something To Dig Into vs cases he dismisses as an Anxious Hysterical Woman Who Wants Attention, the only reason he's Right so frequently in his snap judgements is cos it reinforces the narrative. its like a crime drama that has the mastermind serial killer masterfully using "loopholes" and lawyering up all sneaky and dodging Justice and if only our poor little cop protags were allowed to do A TEENY BIT of Justified Police Brutality, they could Save Lives!
and like sometimes in the show they will have a patient die despite his efforts to narratively punish him. not to mention, i think its been at least mildly brought up and glossed over how much they absolutely do not think about insurance costs for these ppl for the insane amount of tests that find nothing and Wrong Medications To Force A Diagnosis they use? i think it was brought up once in the episode following a day in the life of cuddy where she had to fight a lawsuit bc a guys insurance like didnt cover his thumb being reattached but chase reattached it anyway while in surgery cos it was The Right Thing To Do and the guy didnt have the money to cover it and the insurance wouldnt pay unless he sued the hospital or whatever. thats like the only time its come up. whereas like frequently the doctor I go to for osteopathic manipulation tries to check in with me and make sure im covered by insurance etc and that im not going to go broke or get buried in medical debt seeing her.
idk. just some Thoughts. not a defense of our current system and all the flaws it enables and enforces etc. his approach to medicine is really reminiscent to me of what I know of the Heroic Era Of Medicine which i dont...love? and hes framed on here as being an asshole but would kill for his patients to get them a diagnosis etc. but hes definitely extremely paternalistic to patients ? and despite some good clippable lines about ableism and being against eugenics, it honestly feels like his stance on that is kind of a toss up.
#toy txt post#AGAIN THIS IS NOT A DEFENSE OF OUR CURRENT SYSTEM NOR AM I TRYING TO 'CANCEL' THE SHOW#i am simply processing some Thoughts about it#and wishing better doctors upon all of you when you need them#doctors who Listen To You and who Put In The Effort and The Work to figure out why you feel like shit#who also arent calling you slurs the whole time and throwing random fucking medications at you that destroy your liver or whatever#but give them data. idk. like sometimes in the show it does seem like they need to do that! like the patient is actively dying and the risk#to info ratio is such that it makes sense. other times its like you like definitely couldve done other things to rule shit out but you#needed to fit this whole patient arc into a single episode#not to mention i feel like any doctor who approached shit even close to the way he does would Not have his success rate#no matter how smart the payoff would Not be worth it bc theyd kill more patients. they would not be getting lucky everytime. real life does#not have a plot narrative to fulfill if house treated you he'd just fucking kill you#also one more disclaimer I AM AWARE DR GREGORY HOUSE IS A FICTIONAL MADE UP BLORBO CHARACTER#AND THAT MOST OF THE PPL JOKING ABOUT THIS DO NOT NEED THE REMINDERS OR WARNINGS OR DISCLAIMERS ABOUT HIM ETC ETC#IM SIMPLY THINKING ABOUT HIM AND THIS SHOW AND REAL LIFE#and am only a little bit uncomfortable w the level to which his approach is romanticized on tumblr dot com. but i understand why and like#fair enough#anyway watching house MD is like a sawbones episode displaced in time and Very Worrying#i just have the finale of s7 left and then i will start s8#and i am dreading the aphobia episode. but it cannot be worse than the horrific intersexism and transphobic he's put on display right#right?#i guess its probably not worse in that from what ive seen on tumblr. he is being aphobic to an adult and not a teenager. so#also house is infuriating bc if you remove the doctor bit. i have met this man so many times and i want to kill him ♡#the guy who is just allowed to stampede through life being a total ass with no pushback or accountability and terrorize people#hes a bad employee and a worse boss#okay turning reblogs off on this cos i dont trust ppl. i think i have replies restricting to mutuals too so#that way this doesnt break containment and get misinterpreted
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jaeyunverse · 2 years
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only 6 more days for 12th grade to officially finish and my exams to be over. perhaps jaeyunverse comeback with a long fic ????? 😳
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be-good-to-bugs · 5 months
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fr why does my body always feel sick and my brain always feels horrible.
#the bin#im always bored and sad. always. unless im high. thats the only thing that helps#why does weed gotta be so damn expensive. and why does my only source of it have to be my weird ass sister#i wanna ask her to pick more up for me but she gets weird about it. whatever. i can wait another week i guess.#im so tired if feeling like garbage constantly. being alone constantly feels so awful. i just need to get through one more month of this#and then ill at least have people to talk to sometimes. im gonna probably put all my effort into meeting peopel after i move#because i cant do this anymore.#i hate feeling so alone all the time. i hate being so alone all the time. everything just sucks so much. im trying so hard to fill the void#with something but it doesnt matter. i feel slightly better for breif moment and then i feel miserable again#i dont understand whats so wrong with me. i dont know how to talk to people at all. online or offline. i dont know where to go at all#i feel like i cant navigate the world at all im so lost. i want to step out of my comfort zone but i dont even know how#i feel so much more willing to than i ever have but im so confused and lost. my comfort zone is so uncomfortable and i just want out#i ferl like i dug this he myself. i dont know if thats true. i know its not all my fault but it also truly truly is all my fault#everybody else seems to be doing just fine. even my one sibling who never leaves the house has lots of friends online#and the others all made friends just fine. something about me is broken. idk whats wrong and how to fix it.#i know i just need to step out and meet people but where do i even do that? what are other people doing that im not?#:/ ill figure it out. i hope soon.
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golisopod-mutual · 2 years
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uh oh not another text post from lindsey lol anyway my dad/step mom/step sisters etc had a christmas party last night that i was invited to but i had to work so i was just gonna show up late. and i didnt have a gift for the white elephant gift exchange but they waited for me to get there before doing gifts anyway even tho they could have done them in the 2 hours before i arrived (they knew I didnt have anything to put into the exchange) and one of my sisters had an extra gift that she gave me so I could have something for the exchange so I could participate. and afterwards my sisters messaged me and were like ‘oh im glad you could come!’ and ‘i loved seeing you, I always love seeing you!!’ and it made me really happy bc I don’t see them all that often so I don’t always feel all that close w them yknow. so the fact they were patient while I was at work and waited to do the gifts til I could be there and were so happy to have me there... it made me feel very welcome and like they really genuinely cared that i was around. everyone had to leave like an hour after I arrived bc it was 10 pm by then but even tho it was only an hour I had a good time and felt very loved. it was a good reminder that ppl love me and I dont just cease to exist to them as soon as im out of their sight.
#growing up i was rly close w my youngest sister [youngest of my 3 step sisters but still older than me by a few years]#but we grew apart as we got older and she seemed to be closer w our other sisters than w me so i was left feeling kind of out of place yknow#and nowadays when im around everyone i feel kind of awkward and distant just bc we dont see each other often and im so shy and introverted#theres part of me that has always kind of felt like the odd one out yknow. im the youngest girl. my interests dont really overlap w theirs.#im the quietest of the 4 girls and the most reserved. and my 3 step sisters all have the same parents#so of the 4 girls im the odd one out just by having different parents and living in a different house growing up and stuff yknow#like ive always wondered do they see me differently than each other? do my sisters have 2 groups in their heads#group 1: real sisters and group 2: step sister [aka lindsey]#like does my youngest sister favor her 2 sisters who are blood related to her over me [her step sister]#its nice to be reminded they dont think of me differently and they want me included in family stuff and to them im just another sister yknow#thyere the only sisters i have lol to me theyre just. my sisters whom i love. so i would be very hurt if they thought of me differently#bc im a step sibling and not a directly related sibling#anyway ive been making an effort to stay in touch more often. theres a family group chat i never used to read but ive been trying#to do better. bc i know if i want my relationship w that side of my family to be better i have to put forth a little effort lol#i really do love them im just so introverted and shy and idk if i have anything to talk abt that theyd care abt yknow#my oldest sister is turning 31 this year i dont really have much in common with a 31 yr old engaged ex-military nurse#but im trying#i also have always felt like the ugly one of the group which is a major bummer and i feel like they still see me as a kid sometimes#or like they think less of me bc of my mental health struggles and the fact i still live at home and only work part time#im sure they dont but im insecure abt that stuff so im terrified ppl are judging me abt it lol
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gotham-daydreams · 2 months
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i had a really random idea that activated a neuron in my head and wanted to share here if that's ok— neglected!reader and friend!reader crossover. increased angst potentials, increased relationship struggles.
idk if it's just me, but the cold knowledge and sudden realization that your family was only ever interacting with you to use you as a means of getting close to their original target (who i will be assuming is a friend of yours)? you should be feeling glad that they're finally, *finally* interacting with you, but it just makes you feel more sick. they talk to you, but never want to talk about *you,* if that makes sense, always their target. half-hearted attempts to try and be more discreet, but you can tell they really just want to probe out info about your friend from you. perhaps this even cements your belief that "oh. they're never going to care for me the way i used to care for them."?? im sick i will explode and become atoms for this hypothetical reader's sake. leaving them, and the family realization that in their own selfish goals, they lost something more valuable. only makes sense for them to get it back.
but perhaps it can also be them originally them trying to again, use you as a bridge between said target, only to become more obsessed with you somewhere down the line of continuous interactions. idk lots of thoughts here i am happy big and mentally normal about these giant group of costumed losers !!
I am in love with this idea... especially because you can do it both ways (with the reader either being a part of the fam, or just a 'friend' of one of the Batfam members that they kinda forgot about until now)!
I'll go into Acquaintance! Reader later, so for now I'll focus more on this other neglected sib reader :]
Can you imagine how absolutely heartbreaking finding out that they're just talking with you to get something out of you, at first? Like, okay, maybe reader is suspicious at first, of course, because why the hell is the family starting to acknowledge their existence now? Was it something they did? Something that caught the family's attention? Etc., etc., but the point is that maybe with a little effort and too little time, they begin to have a little hope. They began to think that the family actually cares about them now.
Like yeah, sure, they kind of dismiss their questions when the reader tries to bring up the changes and why things couldn't be like this before, and have an odd habit of giving short answers and moving onto other topics concerning their friend when the reader, again, tries to press even a little bit more for answers or responses, but that's just how it is, right?
It's nothing personal... the reader knows that, and even if it hurts sometimes, it's nothing to worry about, right? Besides, they wanted this... didn't they? They wanted to be noticed, to finally have the family's attention, to have something and they're finally getting that! They should be happy, grateful even... and they are! But... is it so selfish to want more? To want the family and some of their siblings to even be a little interested in the things they do? Instead of just asking about their friend all the time?
Maybe the reader even gets a little jealous, envious, even, as this goes on but I can see them being content with little. Ultimately a little scared to ruin a good thing, and to ruin this for themselves... even if it definitely doesn't feel as good as they had hoped it would be oh so long ago.
... And then, they figure out the truth. Either from overhearing some members of the family talking about it, other friend of theirs points it out/puts that idea into their head, or they just... notice it. Hell, all three of those things could happen - with the reader knowing on some subconscious level that things aren't as they seem and that the family is definitely trying to get something out of them (a thought they had at first, that didn't fully go away), and another friend of theirs (that the fam isn't going crazy over) sort of points out that it looks like the batfam is just using them to get to whoever (and maybe the reader dismisses it at first, but that moment only further plants that idea into their head), and the reader keeps noticing all of these little things from that moment and onward... only for everything to come crumbling down once they finally overhear that conversation.
Once they hear some of the members discussing what they should ask the reader, how they should go about it, and hell - maybe for the irony of it all, maybe even joking about the reader finding out about their little 'ploy'. Even going so far as to laugh and say how the reader will never find out because they're too stupid, too desperate to even really entertain the idea to its fullest. How even if they do think so... well, they can just string poor little reader along and distinguish the idea before it even becomes a problem. How they could use that to just further rope the reader in, and make them feel guilty until they forget all about the very idea of the family just using them... further securing themselves to be one of - if not the only - closest people to the reader, and therefore, much closer to their fixation.
It's... more than just heartbreaking for the reader, but not quite world shattering either. It's some odd in between feeling that hurts all the same. They knew, sure, and they always had the suspicion- but it fucking hurts.
Somehow, knowing hurts more in that moment - just the reader knowing and having their suspicions confirmed hurts worse than anything they've ever felt. It doesn't quite feel like betrayal, or maybe it does - they aren't sure, but at the same time that description doesn't feel quite right. Though that's because they feel partially at fault. Like they did this to themselves, and they do feel guilty, but for only putting themself through this.
They should've known better. They should've listened to their gut. They should've never let this happen- they are at fault as much as the family is...
But can they fully blame themself? They got a glimpse of what it was like to be part of the family. A glimpse into the life they always wanted... could they really blame themself for taking that chance when they saw it? For trying to seize that opportunity even if it was never really there? Could they blame themselves for trying to look past all the signs, because they too wanted something out of it? Because they just wanted to be part of the family that badly, even if it was all a lie?
It hurts, and the reader leaves quietly. They don't burst into the room and confront everyone - no, they just walk away. Too consumed in their own grief and feelings to do much else besides that. I imagine that they don't even make it to their room, and hell, maybe one of the other Batfam members find them, but just looking at them makes the reader cry harder.
If they literally run away from the person, or not, is really up to interpretation at the moment, but either way they manage to find some alone time to themselves, and just... let it all out. The reader, in that moment, allows themself to grieve over the lose of a family they never had, and after all is said and done, I can imagine that they try to distance themselves- but are smart in how they do so.
The reader tries to get the family closer to their friend, while also limiting the amount of the the reader is actually around both the friend and the family. Basically just trying to put everyone in a position where they don't need a middleman - where the reader doesn't have to be involved anymore, and basically just... giving the reader an opportunity to truly distance themself from the family.
Sure, the reader might still try to hang out with the family's current fixation, but I can see them be willing to sacrifice time with that person just to further get away. It hurts to do it, and they don't want to, but they figure that, with enough time, once the family chills the fuck out, they'll hopefully be able to sort of go back to how things were. If not? Then... well, they'll just have to learn how to live with that, and they hope that their friend can forgive them.
Don't get me wrong, I could totally see the reader trying to find ways to get their friend out of the position, but the batfam is one tricky foe.. so they settle for what they can, but maybe they're still trying to do what they can. (Or maybe they think that this is the best course of action since... well, maybe they overheard some other talks afterwards? Who knows)
It could also be that, through the reader's attempt to leave, and them trying to eliminate themself from the equation entirely could be a huge turning point for the Batfam in terms of them turning yandere (aka, if they weren't yan before, they definitely are now. and those that are, are even worse than before). A real "you don't know what you had until it's gone" kinda deal, and it's gotta be hilarious to see the fam just scramble for something, and to kind of 'catch' the reader until they're truly gone... which, to add to the humor- the reader is probably already trying to move out of Gotham by that time LMAO
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zzencat · 29 days
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Why Am I So Hard On Myself? - Timeless ⏳
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Breathe and choose. Left to right.
Kinda doing this one on a whim but figured it could help anyone who needs to be heard and have their doubts or feelings validated. You’re not alone. Does it say anything else about you?
TO ENHANCE ACCURACY BEFORE CHOOSING: Clear your mind. Time is now patient and still. Close your eyes, inhale deeply, fill your chest up to the fullest, feel the soft air brush up against the ridges of your nose. Breathe out.
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Pile 1 | “no matter how hard i try…”
somehow, something always goes wrong. you always try to salvage what you can, picking up the pieces and trying to make the most of the situation, but maybe the timing is shit, or it isn’t met up to standard. plans ruined, connections gone, opportunities lost. even when all you do is try and try. you might even think “why is this even happening? im only breathing”
small note: while shuffling, it was going pretty nicely then cards started flying out of my hands like fliers on a windy day. it’s a small thing, but to me, it has to do with having constant roadblocks and inconveniences, and that maybe you feel like you’re at your last straw sometimes
you want to be seen for your efforts. at least some acknowledgment that someone knows, sees, and understands that you’re trying. someone to hear you out for once and take you seriously, even if none of what you’d done or contributed has worked before. just acknowledgment would be enough. maybe you’re the only one who recognizes your efforts.
i think you struggle with maintaining career, friendships, or really anything, in general. the foundations laid out might’ve been risky or unstable to begin with so you could question why things don’t last for you. a part of you expects the heartbreak to happen.
it’s crazy bc in this pile, there’s so much…optimism and hope (that might be dying out or feels like it has already) that one day something will work out
your heart isn’t completely closed and you’ll still have it open to accept things, even when you think it shouldn’t. this is what makes you a stronger person. it opens a wide range of doors for you, whether you know it or not. don’t give up.
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Pile 2 | “look out!”
you’re so used to prioritizing others and putting yourself last. bc of this, you could’ve missed out on many things and lost opportunities
you have a big heart and hella good energy — an abundance of it — but for some reason, it’s rarely spent on yourself
you feel like it’s your responsibility, all of it — to run or lead things, as if it’s all in your hands. to take over when things are about to fall apart. who made it your responsibility to carry the burdens of others? what happens then if they don’t reciprocate or return the same generosity?
all of this energy is being redirected to the wrong places when you should be thinking about yourself too. how can you help others when you can’t even help yourself? how about your own dreams and goals? you’re human too, so you need the care and support as well. your energy doesn’t just grow on trees. put yourself high on your own list. make yourself a priority for once. book a spa day and have someone else take over for the day.
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Pile 3 | *whistling*
for this pile, it seems to be more family related, where your pursuits, outlooks, or the way you treat yourself is how you were treated growing up. there’s some connection to pile 2 as well, so there could be some messages in pile 2 for you if it caught your eye
parent(s)/caretakers put a lot of pressure on you with crazy expectations or nitpicking, sometimes maybe even emotional manipulation like guilt tripping
there’s a need to take more charge in your life, especially in the creative and emotional corners of it, and also to create more meaningful and deep connections
some people in this pile might be easily defensive as well too. in this lifetime, you’re gonna learn to put your guard down, bc perhaps you’d grown up feeling trapped and forced into a mold you didn’t belong in
you could struggle with emotional commitment or generally sticking to one thing. there are probably too many things you wanna do or end up trying at least once. relationships might not last too long. there could even be a subconscious fear that you won’t be able to meet someone else’s emotional needs or standards.
you’re very spontaneous and prob get bored easily. also prob struggled academically (ex: having a hard time understand in subjects, sticking to one thing/constantly changing interests or majors, feeling trapped, giving up)
you’re lowkey a perfectionist. perhaps you’re never satisfied bc you grew up with that kind of dissatisfaction on yourself, likely by adults or maybe just things you’d picked up from adolescence
at some point, you might reflect back and feel disappointed in yourself, even if you’d just had the time of your life. it seems like this pile indulges in more superficial activities/substances to fill in the void in that chest
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ending teddy note: hey guys! been a while but here’s a pac for ya!! i think this is a great pac if you don’t have someone to acknowledge the potential issues going on in your life. thank you for taking the time to read this and i really hope you enjoy it! rmr to take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. ciao!! :P
i would appreciate the feedback! lemme know what you got or think in the comments or reblogs 🦾
- The Tedster
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Keith dating hcs please!! and im so glad that their is people still doing voltron! i love that show so so much and I feel like the fandom is dying so quickly😭
hiii!!
ofc i can do keith dating headcanons lovely! im so glad you like voltron too, its taken over my life once again and its sad coming back to the fandom with just a little of us left but i want to continue posting/writing about voltron to keep it alive on tumblr with some other talented creators!!
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✦KEITH KOGANE DATING HCS✦
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✦before confessing his feelings to you, he had to ask lance for some help
✦it took a lot of contemplating and hyping up but he finally got there!
✦keith would struggle a little at the beginning of the relationship since he's worried you'll leave him for someone better. he would spend nights just staring at his ceiling and thinking how much better off you would be with someone else.
✦though overtime those thoughts would fade away but not completely.
✦he would try to flirt with you, but he'd become very flustered and awkward but you thought it was very adorable by the effort he'd put into it!
✦he is very against PDA (aka public display of affection)!!
✦if you break it, expect a very grumpy, pouty and flustered keith.
✦keith is VERY clingy in your relationship, he’ll just want to constantly be near you especially in social situations.
✦keith gets jealous, he just does. he's scared people are gonna steal you from him.
✦once while on a mission with him, this alien took it upon themself to start flirting with you (because who wouldn't😍), keith caught up on this and let me tell you, he was mad.
✦he completely broke the 'no PDA' rule. he wrapped you around in his arm and said "excuse me, but she's taken" with a deadpanned face. man was not having it.
✦i feel like his galra side would make him very territorial, which includes things that belong to him and his personal space.
✦your his and he's yours.
✦surprisingly the only thing that he let pass from his 'no PDA' rule is hand holding, ONLY if he knows that no one else notices (especially Lance or Pidge, they just love to tease him).
✦but they know, they're just snickering quietly to themselves, but shiro keeps them quiet for keith's sake(space dad!!)
✦okay if you guys sleep together, keith demands morning kisses. its the first thing he needs wants. when he wakes up don't be surprised to be showered in kisses!
✦this man does NOT care about morning breath, he just loves you so much!!
✦though, if you sleep in your own beds let say, he'll just brush his teeth (as will you🫵)
✦i feel like keith's hugs will be super comforting and long, especially if he's feeling a little sleepy (and he may just hug you around the other paladins if he is really tired)
✦(yk sometime you just got to break the rule, he just can't resist hugging you. it just makes him feel so warm and comforted.)
✦we all know that keith loves you to bits but he does get embarrassed about what the others will think when they see him so lovey dovey and intimate.
✦he needs to keep the tough guy act okay, its a full-time job (its really not)
✦but just keep reminding him to be himself ☻!!
OKAY WE'VE MADE IT TO CUDDLING!!!!
✦(im sorry i just love cuddles💗 ahhhh)
✦this man would sell his soul for a cuddle from you. IN PRIVATE sadly.
✦he loves little snuggles before drifting off to sleep after an exhausting day.
✦he loves when you pepper kisses all over his face, neck, collarbone and shoulders
✦he also loves when you play or run your fingers through his hair, he finds it so soothing.
✦also don't deny any of his affection! IT WILL SEND THIS DUDE INTO SEVERE POUTY-NESS.
✦he just loves you so so so much!! so it will break his heart (not literally).
✦your the definition of the sun to his moon.♥︎
(i dont think i used that correctly ☹︎ but trust the thought process)
✦you always have to remind him that if he dies, you die too. in hope to make him less reckless on missions (he's still reckless).
✦also before he leaves for a mission he always gives you a sweet little kiss at the forehead/temple and definitely expect a kiss when he gets back!!
☾ ⋆・゚:⋆・゚
✦in the end he loves you dearly and would do anything for you ☻♥︎
★。\|/。★
-love,
. marra✧˖*°࿐
★。/|\。★
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bamboobooshark · 15 days
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YOUR WADE WILSON X READER STUFF IS SO PERFECT OMG IM EATING IT UP FRFR
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WADE WILSON X READER
‧₊ ᵎᵎ 🍒 ⋅ ˚✮ DOODLES : 580 WRDS
<RATING: PG-13, SOME LANGUAGE>
A/N : HI ANON TYSM FOR THE COMPLIMENT!!! I really am greatful that you and many others have enjoyed my Wade content so much. Also, hey, so could you possibly guess what happens in this? Could youuuu? It’s about Wade being curious about your self-drawn “tattoos”. I swear it’ll make more sense when you read it!!!
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You’re lounging around in your bed like you have been all day. Wade lies next to you while playing some random game on his phone. It’s pretty quiet; the only noises in the room are you and Wade’s breathing and his game. His breaths are more quick and sharp, while yours are shallow and slow. He groans loudly and whines as per usual. “I died again, babe! Can you believe it?” he asks dramatically as he puts his phone down on his nightstand. You crack a small smile that only convinces him to continue. He makes his way to lay his head on your stomach, never ceasing his whining. “Why don’t you care? Why won’t you coddle me like I deserve?” he pouts, putting on his usual act when he wants attention. Wade’s efforts succeed when you let out a soft chuckle and move your arm down to rub his textured chest gently. He lets out an unnecessarily loud sigh before letting his eyes gently close. “Better?” you ask with a smile. "Oh, you bet your ass this is better,” he confirms while leaning into you more by the second.
When Wade opens up his eyes, he stares at your arm in confusion, then up at you. He looks back and forth between them a few times before questioning you. “What’s up with the ink all over your arms, pumpkin? You mapping out some tattoos you wanna get?” You shrug in response. “I just got bored earlier. They’re nothing really,” you tell him sheepishly, slightly embarrassed that he’s so focused on them. His fingers gently trace the set marks on your skin with an intrigued look in his eyes. You feel your cheeks warm more; he’s rarely this careful and quiet with you. You’re so used to him squeezing, pinching, and sometimes gently biting you. His fingers continue to trace the lines as if he were drawing them himself. His hand moves to hold your forearm to get a better look at the doodles. He lets out a curious ‘hmm’ while squinting at your arm. “Oh,” he exclaims while smiling. “These would be really fun to color in,” he says in a tone that begs you to let him. You nod in agreement to his suggestion. “I guess it wouldn’t hurt,” you sigh to him, and he smiles so hard you see his teeth showing.
Wade stays intrigued for the next few hours with coloring on your stick, trying his best to stay inside the lines because, according to him, if you’re going to allow him to color your “sacred silken skin,” then he should at least try to make it look nice. He bites his bottom lip into his mouth and hums for a moment. “Why did you make this one so detailed?” he grunts. “I don’t know. I told you I was just bored. I didn’t expect to end up with you trying to color in every little doodle,” you chuckled while watching him work inside the lines. “You better make these easier to color next time you draw all over yourself,” he mumbles while pouting. “Do you ever stop complaining?” you ask him as a joke. He gasps and squeezes your forearm a bit. “Will you ever stop giving me reasons to complain?” he sasses back. You widen your eyes as you realize he makes a good argument. “Whatever,” you groan in response. He chuckles sweetly as he finishes coloring in the doodle he’d been fussing about, moving on to the next one.
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yanfeisty · 4 months
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I wonder how funny it would be seeing Zhongli x Reader x Neuvillette and how their territorial instincts would come out randomly and they would almost fight each other to the death before they stop themselves and they're like wait im sharing my lover with them. I cannot attack them or else lover = sad
Honestly, I don’t really imagine them fighting because they are so well mannered and all, but there is definitely some tensions in there but let’s see that. Content warnings: none.⠀⠀Thanks for the request, hope you’ll enjoy !⠀⠀ ︵ ⠀⠀ ̼
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⠀‣ Zhongli, Neuvillette
These two are from different lands with jobs they are dedicated to, and therefore they can’t travel much, which is convenient because this means they don’t see each other and can fully enjoy your presence alone. However, this also means that you need to travel between nations and leave one of them to see the other. It’s a pity, but they understand, and they also don’t want you to worry since this relationship is already strainful.
You don’t notice it because you’re mortal, but there’s a sort of competition between the two, they can smell the scent of the other on you and despite being well composed, it kind of awake something within them, the need to remove that scent from you and replace it with their. They’ll get more clingier than usual, like asking if they can hold your hand whether it’s in outdoor or indoor, or giving hugs when you’re already close to them and make them last a bit longer than it should.
Sometimes, you’re able to get them in the same room with a bit of forcing with Neuvillette to go outside, and convincing Zhongli to go see him. They’ll keep throwing side-eyes at each other’s while staying still in their chair, and when you try to discuss with them, one won’t take part of the conversation if he sees the other is already in it, unless you ask a question to him directly—yes, it’s very awkward. They think they’re subtle but they really ain’t, anyone walking by can feel the tension, especially you.
“This tea is wonderful!” You exclaimed as the hot drink fills your throat with multiple flavors, going to the tea shop was a good idea that you thought since everyone could enjoy it and it gave you a subject of conversation to talk about. You gave a look to the two persons to your left and right as a hope for a response from them, knowing they always had interesting things to say even when it’s about drink. “I agree, this tea shop uses an old traditional technique, the process demands lots of patience and care but the result is worth it.” You nodded and smiled to Zhongli’s explanation, then you looked at the other direction. “And what about you, Neuvillette?” “Oh. Yes, it is a wonderful taste indeed.” He nodded while looking at his tea. “…”
You don’t expect them to like each other, but at least hope they could act normally without this feeling of distance. Not only that but there are times were they would throw implicit critical comments about each other’s, “You’re going to spend time with the usurpe- I mean, Mr Zhongli?” It gets tiring, this doesn’t feel like a relationship which makes you disappointed, and they can feel it.
They’ll realise how unwise they acted and will try to make efforts for you, even if it takes a long time, trying to restrict their natural instincts. Eventually, they’ll act more casual when the three of you are together, and when they put their differences aside they find common traits and linking they have which makes you think that in another life they would have been really good friends. Say bye to the awkward silence and hi to the long never ending conversations between the two on Liyue water.
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‘𝓣𝐇𝐄 𝓔𝐍𝐃  Please don’t copy/translate and don’t reblog with yand3r3 tags, also if you’re a yand3r3 blog/reblog account, or you’ll be blocked. Besides that, likes/reblogs/comments are appreciated. 
Would Neuvillette even know that Zhongli is an archon TT?
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rottenrosethorns · 1 year
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HI HI!! i love ur blog sm i had to request something!! can we pls get some fluffy leon hcs where he's playing w his partner's hair? or caressing their skin, anything along those lines🥺
im touch starved istg
Pairing: Leon Kennedy x gn!reader 
Genre: Headcanons, Fluff 
Synopsis: Leon’s love language is physical touch – Leon takes you on a surprise date to the local carnival! 
Word Count: 1.4K 
Warnings: mentions of carnivals but no clowns, large crowds, mentions of social anxiety 
A/N: I don’t know how to write headcanons lol. So, hopefully this is okay for the first time. I also don’t know how to keep things short and sweet, I was itching to write a whole ass fic for this LMAO. thank you anon for the idea and for loving my humble blog! <3
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- masterlist - 
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You always found it surprising that Leon would put 110% effort in planning your monthly date nights. Usually, he’s cool, calm, and collected, so you didn’t strike him as the type to become giddy about some outing; however, Leon always managed to prove you wrong. He was an excellent planner thanks to all the years of training his observation skills. 
He knew exactly what you liked and didn’t like. So even if you hated surprises, Leon would always orchestrate the date accordingly and ease into the activity he knew you’d enjoy. 
Plus, you trusted him more than you trusted your anxiety!
Before you even leave the house, Leon's sitting on the closed lid of the bathroom toilet, watching as you get yourself ready for whatever outing he'd been brewing for the past week. His eyes would be keen on you the entire time, shifting to look at your reflection in the mirror, then back towards you. 
Since he doesn’t want to interrupt your work – you are putting in the time and energy to look good for him after all – Leon resorts to verbal compliments and being your personal hype boy. 
You'd usually listen to music or play a video to accompany your routine, but nowadays, Leon was the only companion you needed. 
Leon can't sit still for long, so he'll be hovering all around you. One moment, he's standing behind you and wrapping his arms around your midriff to catch you in a tight back hug. Next, he's turning you around with his hands on your hips as he tries to convince you that you don't need anything to make you look more breathtaking than you already were. 
You pinch him arm gently, warning him that he'll make you both late if he keeps distracting you. So, he offers to help you with your hair instead. 
The man wants to be involved! Let him dote on you! 
Surprisingly, Leon's decent as a hairstylist. Experienced from handling young Sherry’s hair, Leon forcibly learned almost any and all basic hairstyles. He'll be extra gentle with you though, making sure not to pull too tight or harshly brush through knots. If he's feeling a bit childish, he'll try to tickle your earlobes. But when you get annoyed, he'll offer an apologetic kiss on your neck before neatly finishing his style. 
Sometimes he’ll ask what style you want, but most times you let him decide for you. Secretly, you know he enjoys dolling you up to his expectations, so as long as it looks well kept, you didn’t mind what he did for you. 
Leon's not the best driver, so unfortunately, he can't do the one hand driving, one hand on your left thigh ordeal. No matter how much he wants to be cool, he doesn't have the confidence to drive without two hands on the wheel like a teen who'd just gotten their permit. 
It's okay though, because he'll interlace his fingers with yours and softly kiss the back of your hand at red lights. Maybe, he can sneak in a peck when there's traffic too. 
Leon always opens the door for you and offers a helping hand which never lets go unless absolutely necessary. It's not uncommon for couples to hold hands in public, but when he's brought you to the local carnival with an abundance of people, he's definitely making sure you don't get lost in the crowd. Your safety comes first after all. 
If you get anxious around a lot of people, Leon will either rub his thumb over the back of your hand soothingly as he whispers some reassuring words for you or he'll move so that his body acts as a sort of barrier. 
You'll always follow closely behind him, tugging at his clothes just in case your hands disconnected for whatever reason. Once you're out of the crowd, Leon will make sure you're feeling okay before holding you closer by latching his arm around your waist. 
It’s a win-win for the both of you. You get to feel his warmth from his protection, and he gets to ward off anyone who thinks they have a chance with you. Boy is possessive, so don’t stray too far! 
If you get self-conscious about PDA, Leon will pout, but he'll get over it. As much as he wants to smother you in kisses for the world to see that you are his lover, Leon would never force you to be in an uncomfortable situation especially in public. 
Therefore, he'll compromise with a ghost touch at the small of your back or a soft grip on your shoulder. He'll know he's doing okay because you'll subconsciously lean closer to him and sometimes put a hand on top of his. 
The both of you will explore the carnival grounds for a while, trying your hand at a few carnival games. Of course, Leon is very competitive in nature and an excellent marksman, so he'll absolutely ace at any and all shooter games. But this time, he'll push you up to the podium this time and help you win your own prize. 
He'll stand behind you with both hands on your shoulders as he tells you to focus on the three glass bottles. He gives clear instructions, waiting for you to nod your head or make a noise in confirmation before sliding his arms down yours and aiming the toy gun towards the bottles. 
He'll hover towards your level, chin resting on the curvature of your shoulder. He does this to help see how you’re aiming, but he purposely pushes himself closer to tease you. He can’t help that you’re just smaller than him and that your figure is always begging for him to embrace you. 
He knows you're nervous, but he wants you to win, so he'll wrap his hands around your shaking hands, gripping the stock to stabilize you and the gun before shifting your aim. Once lined up, he'll let you pull the trigger on your own, successfully knocking down the three bottles. Elated, you turn and envelope yourself into a congratulatory hug before happily accepting the prize. 
When you're both hungry and take a seat at an open table to snack on the overpriced carnival food, Leon now does the hand on the thigh thingy. 
He'll go the extra mile and hook your leg over his, so that you're partially thrown over his lap as he traces random lines on your skin. Again, if you're anxious about large crowds, this'll soothe you. 
You can't say you've been to a carnival if you hadn't gone on the ferris wheel, right? Is it very obvious that he plans to seal the night with a romantic kiss at the top of the ride? Yes. But, you'll pretend you don't know what he's planning to do. 
Leon's never truly loved someone before, so don't blame him when he gets all his ideas from cheesy romance movies. You'd never expose him though, because you didn't mind being the main character sometimes. 
You can tell he's nervous, his eyes are watching the wheel spin round and round as you wait in line. Now it's your turn to calm his nervousness down as you wrap yourself on his bicep and lean your head on his muscles. He'll look away with a soft, goofy smile before taking his free hand and giving you a soft head pat to silently thank you. 
Once on the ride, Leon prefers that you sit next to him. Although he liked looking at you sitting across from him, Leon felt much more comfortable with you by his side, especially when you both were swinging higher than the treetops. 
As the ride begins to move, Leon will wrap an arm around your side, planting a firm grip on your hip and pulling you close to him. Even when the cart shakes, Leon's hold is firm and keeps you stable, but that doesn't prevent you from fearfully gripping his midsection.
He'll let out a teasing laugh at your timid reaction and press a kiss on your temple as you hide your face in his chest. 
Once at the very top, Leon will uncover you and take a moment to admire you. He's very keen on eye contact, so he'll hold your chin with his fingers as he expresses how much he loves you. He'll slide his fingers until they're placed on the side of your neck and pull you in for that cliche kiss to perfectly end the night.
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diodellet · 4 months
Text
Top 3 Victims of Getting Whipped by Jamil Viper's Long and Luscious Hair
i wanted to get the gunk from not-writing out before i go back to my pressing wips and i was thinking of how i used to get hit in the face by my friends with long hair…hence these crack hcs. content warnings: -this is crack. this is unserious. (couldn't help myself from hinting at angst. but this entire post is unserious, dw) -unbeta’d, all mistakes are mine. -im okay with this being rb’d and tagged as ship (then in that case this counts as pre-slash if you squint?) word count: 771
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3.)  Ace Trappola
Nearly took out his eye, those damn braids.
Okay, maybe he's exaggerating. Just a little bit. Then it’s back to business and completing this Alchemy worksheet early!
(Ace is a bit dramatic in that moment, only if it means that he gets to tick off one of his more put-together upperclassmen)
Maybe that’s on him for trying to put on the eager underclassman act (If only to get Jamil to do the brunt of the work for this joint class)
No, he’s not trying to get on Jamil’s good side. Don’t get it twisted. That guy is unbribable. (So Ace thinks, little does he know he’s going about it the wrong way.)
And while one can say that he’s learned his lesson, it doesn’t stop the occasional accident from happening. 
And, well, it’s just funny to surprise Jamil. Aside from throwing a fake roach onto his gym bag, that gets boring really fast.
(So Ace says, but he likes to milk the 0.5 seconds of concern. He’s a little brother. It’s an easy way to get some attention drama around here.)
2.)  Floyd Leech
Jamil's usually diligent enough to make sure his hair is secured during basketball training. But on a day where Floyd feels like putting in effort…
Well, things get messy. more than the usual amount of chaos that comes with team scrimmages. 
And in Jamil’s quick pivot, one thing leads to another, you know.
More than being hurt, Floyd was: Surprised.
And secondly, he notices: Huh, Jamil's hair smells good.
A normal person would ask what products Jamil uses 
Floyd’s intrusive thoughts, on the other hand, are like, “yo... what if we took a bite though?”
(0.5 seconds elapsed, we are working in bullet time for those last internal thoughts^^)
And it’s very hard to resist a prospect like that when you also throw in the shininess of Jamil's hair ornaments to the mix.
Cue remix of Beansfest: Hounding Jamil Pt. 2 Electric Boogaloo
(On his low energy days, Floyd doesn’t care. On his bad low-energy days, he’ll yank at the offending braid.)
Either way, Jamil already knows to give Floyd a wide berth on default. That’s why he’s relatively low on this list.
Honorable mention to Azul Ashengrotto
Well, it's only happened twice.
But the guy was changed after those incidents. (Epiphany?? Revelation??)
Maybe the first time he got stunned into silence from getting hit was a fluke, but then it happened again.
And once again, total silence.
(Is Azul supposed to feel appalled? Is this blackmail material? How can he spin this into a surefire conversation to rope Jamil into Octavinelle once and for all? *insert bluescreen noises*)
Jamil’s stopped feeling bad about it when the initial embarrassment wears off.
If Azul gets smacked across the face and loses his glasses, that’s on him. Jamil’s speedwalking away from the crime scene, call that plausible deniability.
Unlike certain people on this list, Azul’s conscientious enough to respect Jamil’s physical boundaries
(For the most part. Sometimes Azul gets too into his “Benevolent Housewarden” persona—it’s the untapped Theater Kid Energy in him—that it could happen a third time.)
1.) (Are we even surprised?)
It's Kalim al-Asim!
When they're at class, when they're going to the school store, even at the safety of the dorm.
(Who knew Kalim had the capacity for stealth when he’s not wearing any of his usual jewelry or accessories? Has Jamil been belling him like a cat?)
It has to happen at least once a day, so decrees the law of the universe
Maybe it’s a consequence of Kalim’s lack of personal boundaries.
(Well, after the events of Book 4, I could say something angsty about that but that can be its own post. This is supposed to be a lighthearted crack scenario) 
The worst of it probably had to be during VDC rehearsals. Especially when they were getting the formations down.
Ace has made a tally of each time it has happened, Rook has confirmed the numbers. It cannot be denied any longer, there is Objective Statistical Proof. 
Congratulations, Kalim! Here’s a hastily-made certificate of recognition! (Vil would sermon them for goofing off, but he can indulge in some levity. It’s the night before the performance. It’s better than seeing them nervous.)
Kalim’s confused about the makeshift award, but it’s ok, his default response to 97% of things is good-natured laughter.
Jamil on the other hand is done. He wants to sleep. (But, when you compare it with the stress of their initial rehearsals, this kind of situation doesn’t seem so bad. He’ll never admit that out loud though.)
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a/n: anyway happy pride jamil, the guy with the most gender, i wudve wanted to give u a harem but my brain said to torment u at ur expense oops (i've had this wip since april, can u believe? omagah) i wasn't sure how to format a post with multiple characters (oh my god icb this is my first twst post that doesn't feature only jamil 🗿🗿) anyway, i hope this was entertaining a read!💕💕
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quartztwst · 10 months
Text
I DELETED THE ASK IM SO SORRY WAAHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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I'm also Hmong!!! I don't really say it much bc not a lot of people know of us 😭😭😭 I grew up with both of my parents families but I'm trying to learn our culture so I can't speak hmong. I know a bit but I can't speak it.
But it's alright if you don't know the culture, I even don't know it 😓😓😓 we just gotta learn though!!
Here’s a short basic context or info about Hmong people though:
Hmong people are an Asian ethic group in East and Southeast Asia. We are found in many different countries!! Examples like Vietnam, Laos, Thailand, China, and America!!! (There’s probably others in other countries too).
AND HERE'S MY TWEEL HMONG HCS!!! (BTW these are based on my experiences as a Hmong American person and also this will have explanations about our culture which will be highlighted in blue.)
PHYSICAL APPEARANCE:
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- Jade and Floyd are slightly tanner because not all Asians are pale white 💀💀💀 jk but I think they're the types to get easily tanned in the sun (and Azul gets sunburnt)
- They have a few freckles/marks/(DOTS?? HOW TF DO YOU DESCRIBE THOSE?? BEAUTY MARKS WTF??) on their face. Yall never seen me draw them bc um.... I drew these like.. today HELPP
- Jade also has the string bracelet on his wrist. They're like the things that keep your soul with you and they keep you from getting sick and bad luck/spirits (I MEAN THATS HOW MY MOM EXPLAINS IT LMAOO. I remember my grandparents would tie one on my wrist and speak in another language. I don't remember if it was Thai or Chinese.)
Examples of it:
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- I used to draw Floyd with it because I thought that since he seems like the type to get noticeably more in trouble than Jade (because he's discreet) and his grandma would be worried for him so she would tie that to his wrist so he wouldn't get more in trouble (bc some older generations think that sometimes the things you do or that you're sick is because your soul has been flying away?? Or that your soul has been taken. Its nothing bad. It's just something cultural and in their religion of Hmong people.) But I feel like he would get annoyed and cut it off later LMAOO
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- (Tais means Grandma on mom’s side) So Jade has it but you can't see it with his gloves and long sleeves in the way.
- There's not much to say about their appearances 😭😭😭
SOME HMONG HEADCANONS OF THEM:
- Jade knows the Hmong language and how to speak it but Floyd doesn't but he knows some of it (I'M PROJECTING. I'M PROJECTING SOOO BAD.)
- I think Floyd doesn't really put the effort on learning because "everyone else speaks English (in my universe 😓😓😓 idk)" so he doesn't really bother learning how to speak it but he does know some words.
- He uses a lot of context clues to understand like if he knows some words of the sentence, he'll respond but if there's words he DOESN'T know, he'll be like "huh? Gucci pow.... (<- BAD PRONUNCIATION OF HMONG WORDS)"
- Jade knows Hmong and English so this mf is bilingual.
- Sometimes he would whisper stuff in Hmong to Floyd and THEY BOTH WOULD GIGGLE BC THEY'RE MAKING FUN OF SOMEONE 😭😭😭 AND YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND (UNLESS YOU DO) SO NOW YOU'RE SCARED IF THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT YOUUUU
- Or there's no giggling because Floyd doesn't understand so all you hear is a "huh?" And Jade says nevermind, LEAVING FLOYD CONFUSED AND ANGRY.
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- Their mom speaks both Hmong and English while their dad only knows Hmong but is trying to know English (because it's better for business but I feel like he'll have other people speak for him).
- I like to think that Floyd doesn't really wanna speak to his dad than his mom is because of the language barrier. It's hard to speak to eachother with limited words (i know by experience 😞😞😞). It's genuinely sad but they both try their hardest to understand eachother.
- Jade and Floyd like to share Azul some of their foods in their culture (THEY STILL HAVE THEIR CANON FAVORITE FOODS. Also i still dont know how the fuck they cook their food in the sea. I know they eat raw food like Jade said BUT MR. ASHENGROTTO SAID HIS MOMMY OWNS A RESTAURANT AND AZUL KNOWS HOW TO COOK???)
- Like Naab Vaam, Pho, and stuff (some of our food are actually from other countries that we live in/came from like Vietnam, Laos, Thailand, and etc. We just put our own spin on them so they may or may not taste the same as their origin.)
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- I don't think in the sea they wear clothes but Jade and Floyd found some Hmong clothes on the surface and found it cool.
- I don’t actually know their exact type of Hmong clothes they wear though. (Hmong people have different types of clothing depending on who you are and where you’re from. It’s very important to know which one you are. Also there’s 2 different dialects of Hmong and probably MORE?? idk……)
- I drew them wearing Hmong clothes that my family wears though:
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ITS NOT A GOOD PICTURE but I was so proud of myself guys please it was months ago since i made that nfkjanfkjasdjhfjhjfk
- I was hoping to figure which type of Hmong they are like Hmong Green, Hmong White, etc etc BUT I’M TOO EMBARASSED TO ASK MY MOM BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE SHE’LL THINK IT’S SILLY TO USE THIS INFO ON ANIME CHARCATERSUIDHFAHDJKFHK
- So i just use the info i already know 😭😭😭😭
- (Also the necklaces hanging on their necks are silver necklaces. THEY’RE SO FUCKING HEAVY. MY MOM HAS A REAL SILVER ONE AND GOD DAMN. THEY GIVE YOU SO MUCH NECK PAIN. But they represent our wealth 😞😞😞. Good thing they recently made ones without real silver. Also there’s Hmong clothes with silver coins on them and they also represent wealth!! They hurt less!!)
- Hopefully I can recreate the Tweels in Hmong clothes in better art!! I CAN BARELY SEE THIS ONE.
I think I’m done for now. I was hoping to say more but I don’t have any more 😭😭😭😭 But I hope you find these somehow a bit interesting and helpful about Hmong culture. I was really excited to tell someone my Tweel Hmong HCs because hkuahfjdkshfjkahj I DON’T KNOW I JUST GET HAPPY!! I love sharing my culture even if I’m still learning it. Not a lot of people know about us because we don’t have a country. But im really happy to meet other Hmong people on here and share the representation!!
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a-libra-writes · 1 year
Note
Hi!!! Omg I just wanted to say I’m so happy you’re back because I love your writing so so much, your characterizations are the absolute best.
Do you think you could write some long-ish headcanons about ASOIAF characters and how they would react if they had a nightmare about the reader dying or leaving them, but woke up to you cuddling them?
Thank you!!
Heyo! Thank you for the kind words , im glad youre enjoying your stay at my silly blog lol. I did ur boys Ramsay and Theon, plus a few extras that popped into my head!
Theon - He awakes with a start, and an immediate feeling of discomfort settles upon his chest. Theon can feel you right next to him, but you seem far away. He can't get back to sleep. Dreams (nightmares, really) of you dying affects him strongly, but somehow you just ... leaving, not disappearing, but walking away from him hurts more.
In the morning, he's rather quiet and distant. Of course, he's shit at talking about his feelings. You'd have to ask direct or roundabout questions to figure it out, and even then, Theon feels foolish for being so disturbed by something as silly as a dream. It wouldn't matter if this was reoccurring, it'd still be like pulling teeth to get him to talk about it and explain why it's so unsettling.
Ramsay - Dreaming of your death isn't actually anything new for him. He wouldn't even consider them nightmares, and it's not like you're the only one who dies. Sometimes it's by his own hand, sometimes it's not. Ramsay doesn't dwell on them after he wakes, and rarely remembers after an hour or so. The dying dreams don't bother him because they seem so far-fetched - yes, he really thinks that.
Dreams of you running off, however? That's a different matter. Sometimes they're simple - he can't find you, no matter how much he looks. Sometimes it's more complex, you run away and he has to spend a long, fruitless effort trying to find you. These are the dreams that agitate him when he awakens, and he'll actually wake you up to make sure you're there - obviously you are - and if for some reason you aren't, well ... he's always had a habit of being mad at you for slights he's conjured up in his head.
Tywin - He has never been a man who tried to glean any meaning from dreams; it's nonsense he doesn't subscribe to. That doesn't mean he's immune to nightmares, though most people wouldn't think such a grand man would be affected by them. He is, but no one would see that. It's the dreams where you're dying - often in childbirth, sometimes by sickness - that startle him awake.
It's troublesome if you actually are with child; then Tywin might take some time to get back to sleep. If you aren't, he knows logically that he shouldn't be bothered. There's no danger here. It puts him in something of a mood for the rest of the day. He doesn't so much as fret over you as just ... watch you very closely, which might pique your curiosity.
Jon - These nightmares don't come often to him, but when they do, he wakes in a sweat. You always seem to die right as he wakes up, or he's on his way to help you and something stops him. Something always stops him, and he wakes feeling anxious and oddly powerless. It feels like an ill omen. He turns over to you and pulls you in closer, mulling it over instead of trying to get back to bed.
It takes a while for him to fall asleep. Jon might talk to you about it, but he also feels a little silly for being so affected. Maybe if you bring up the topic first, because he clearly looks tired.
Tyrion - He hates these kinds of dreams, both the ones where some harm has fallen you, or where you've suddenly disappeared and left him. They're both terrible for different reasons, and he wakes with a start, cursing and looking for something to drink. It'll wake you up, and he immediately switches to comforting, as if you're the one whose upset.
He really appreciates if you stop and ask him what he dreamt. In the daytime it feels childish to talk about, but in the dark with your hand holding his, he feels comfortable to express the worry and anxieties that may have led to the nightmare in the first place.
Victarion - The nightmare is one he's had before, only it's taken new forms since he's been with you. Rather than his wife dying at his own hands, it's you. A simple change, and one that hurts him even more, because it feels even more real. He wakes up with his whole body tense and his fists balled. It's entirely possible you wake up too, as Victarion wants to get out of bed and pace around.
If you want to talk to him about it, good luck. Talking about emotions, especially this, is not in the slightest realm of easy for him. He probably hasn't even told you what happened to his previous wife; Asha would have been the one who did. Sometimes he can be coaxed back into bed, sometimes he wants to stalk off and walk around the keep for a while.
Stannis - It always comes back to that day. In the nightmare, he can still smell the seasalt, and feel the wind on his face, and hear the wood breaking against rocks. In the dreams, he always knows whose on the ship. He may not see the bodies sinking in the water, but he knows. And if it's you, then he's alone on top of Storm's End. No Robert or Renly, just himself, trying to shout against the wind and rain.
It's worse than the nightmares about the Siege, which feel listless and endless. Stannis usually awakes an hour or two before he normally gets up, and that's fine. He gets out of bed right away and goes about his usual routine, wanting to shake the negative feelings right away. If he ever talks about it with you, it's only after you point out he seems tired. He wants to tell you it's pointless to dwell on it, but talking does help a little ...
Arianne - She wakes up with a curse, which might make you stir. She doesn't put a lot of stock in dreams and nightmares, but she doesn't completely discount them, either. And that one was ... very vivid. Just thinking about it your life slipping away makes her shiver, no matter if it was poison or a sword.
She'll slowly wake you up, bringing you close to her and resting her face against your neck. She only half-apologizes for it. After telling you about the dream, she promises it won't happen. She'll keep you safe - though maybe she's reassuring herself more than you.
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caitlinsnicket · 11 months
Text
izzy hands sfw headcanons part 1
a/n: i was gonna make one post with all the headcanons, then i was gonna split nsfw from sfw, and now i had to split the sfw because it's too big. part 2 here. part 3 here. im losing it
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repressed little angry man with his repressed little feelings
his loyalty is yours. privately, yes, but yours. he'd put himself between anything and anyone for you
he carves wooden things for you, sea animals, boats and anything else you mention you like. he might give it to you directly or just leave it in your things
when you thank him, he either calls you twat and tells you to fuck off or just nods his head with a little smile on his face
if you ask him to, he'll sing for you, and blush while doing it
it also becomes a habit between the two of you to sing together in the privacy of his cabin, slowdancing with the melody
he also sings sometimes to wake you up because he knows you like his raspy voice
fuuuuuuck his raspy voice. gets raspier in the mornings, and it never fails to make your knees buckle. because he knows that, it's not unusual for him to sneak behind you to whisper nonsense in your ear
praises you for anything you do, even things unrelated to piracy. you make a good knot? "that's very good". you manage to cook a half decent egg? "it's perfect, love". you style his hair in a different way for fun? "i've never looked so good. that's all you, dear"
he starts wearing fingerless gloves to feel your skin against his at all times
physical touch is mandatory and something he craves constantly, specially when you're in his line of sight
sometimes you think he's purring when you give him any kind of physical affection, but that's only a theory that you keep private
his pda evolves around kissing your hand while being flirty
big attatchment issues. as in he'll freak out a little if he doesn't know where you are
he's always worrying about you, in what he believes is a subtle manner. in front of the crew, he pretends he's going to chastise you in private, when in reality he's just asking you if you need anything or if you're tired
likes to boss you around for funsies, but if you'd rather sit still and look pretty for him, he's happy to ignore the rest of the crew's protests at your special treatment
likes to teach you things around the ship just to be close to you and feel pride at how fast you're learning (praise him for being a good teacher, you might make him blush).
might slap you in the ass if you do a good job and no one is around to tease him
he's always baffled by how much you want him, and not just in the physical sense. when he sees how much you're working for the relationship to function, how much effort you put into making him happy, he's at a loss of words
he's worried that you were going to be put-off by his violence, but when you welcome it as just another lovable part of him, he knows you're the one
if you use violence for him (to protect or defend), he'll have to use every fiber of his being to hold back tears. having people care for him is a new experience, and it becomes overwhelming
he's incredibly funny when he wants to, and not just when he's bitching about the crew. just funny
will do anything to make you smile or laugh at him. it's not uncommon to see him joining in on the crew's shenanigans just to see you happy
when he's sad he'll go quiet, sad puppy eyes looking defeated, and it's very likely he'll lash out on the crew
he cries a lot, violently, his sobs go through his whole body and he shakes so much you thought he had a cold the first time it happened
when you wipe away his tears and just hold him close, he almost believes he deserves to be loved
he fusses a lot when you try to comfort him, wiggling away from your grasp and telling you to fuck off, before melting into you and breaking down in your arms
it's very difficult for him to accept these kinds of things, so praise him while you're at it, give him positive reinforcement and he'll get used to the comfort you provide him
his smiles light up the world, but you can't tell him that otherwise he'll hold himself back. unless you're both alone, in his cabin, huddled together and he smiles at you, you trace the wrinkles around his eyes and mouth and just whisper "you're fucking beautiful", he'll blush and bury his face on your hands, a low rumble on his chest
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strwberri-milk · 1 year
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Hi! I love love love your works! They're my favourite and I always get excited when I see that you've posted something new :)
Anyways, I was wondering if you could do something where the reader is basically a female Xiao? I know you've written for a reader that has her walls up except Kaeya, but I was wondering what it would be like if reader was basically like Xiao, where she doesn't want to get close to people so she cuts it off before they can get close to her, she's rudely blunt, and when she finally opens she's really sweet and outgoing you just need to put in the effort to get her to open up.
Maybe with Kaeya, Zhongli, Childe, Thoma, and maybe Xiao himself? if not don't worry <3.
-- 🌺 (if it's not taken, please <3)
now you can be the second anon i can rmr who has a label :D also it might not be all. hunky dory the way it might be expected but its bc i just think it's to be expected if. someone refuses to open up so i did make reader open up a little bc communication is a two way street :D esp since like i dont believe in talking to people if theyre trying to cut you off bc i think its a violation of boundaries so i did make reader have to actually. come back after any cutting off that is done and i just wanted to do this w a big old /nm bc im not mad just explaining :D
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Kaeya doesn't mind your bluntness at all. The walls also remind him of himself which makes it a bit of a challenge if the two of you develop feelings for the other person. It would require one of you to crack, that being Kaeya who wants to return your honesty with some honesty of his own.
When you try to cut him off he just lets you. If you decide you don't want to see him anymore then he won't try to convince you otherwise. He decides to take it as a sign until one day you end up confronting him about it, the slight ache of missing him becoming too much to bear. It takes a bit of awkward stumbling and you trying to communicate your feelings without actually telling him what they are. He understands enough and teases you for it lovingly, deciding that he's going to spend all his time doing so.
Slowly as you open up to him more he finds himself more and more infatuated with the softer side of you. He's glad that you feel safe enough around him to show that side of you to him, encouraging and inviting you to continue with your vulnerability.
He also always playfully bullies you back no matter what you say, liking to see the way you react to his jabs. It makes him laugh as you try to get him to stop, gauging your limits just a bit to make sure you don't actually feel uncomfortable.
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Zhongli doesn't mind how surly you are either. If the two of you are together and you don't want to talk then that's fine. He's got enough to say for the two of you, telling you stories or history that somehow only he knows.
He enjoys the time he spends with you, quiet evenings filled with nothing but the sound of the harbour and him talking. Sometimes if you ask him questions he actively engages in hopes that you'll try to talk to him some more, but if you don't that's fine too. It just makes the times you do choose to engage just that much better.
When you choose not to show up for some time he just waits it out. You remind him of a certain adeptus after all so he knows if he bides his time then you'll come right back to him and when you do, he simply continues as though nothing happened.
Knowing just how stable he is made you more willing to open up, never feeling pressured which he's glad for. Zhongli is always just so gentle to you that you can't help but open up, cherishing the smile on his face that he gets whenever you smile at him.
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Childe enjoys pushing your buttons a little and trying to get you to stop being so surly in a joking manner. He's not going to go out of his way to make you miserable but he does like teasing you whenever he can.
If you stop talking to him or start trying to cut him off he won't exactly stand for it. He confronts you pretty much immediately, knowing that due to your honesty it would be likely that you would just tell him straight up why it is that you decided to stop talking to him.
When you start trying to dodge the question he decides to just wait it out, staring you down until his persistence pays off and you tell him how you feel. He just rolls his eyes and pats you on the shoulder, reassuring you that there's no reason to just start ignoring him and that he really doesn't want to lose you.
From then on if you try to avoid him he decides to just show up wherever you are, reminding you that you told him you wouldn't run from him anymore and that he's here to hold you to it.
It's playful and sweet and it doesn't take you too long to decide that you might as well open up to him, Childe playfully cheering when you decide to do so and telling you that you won't regret it. Thankfully, he's right and you don't regret it, finding yourself more comfortable being with him and starting to tease him back as well. It always makes him laugh and up the ante playfully to return your gesture, loving to see just how extroverted you've become for him.
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Thoma is pretty similar to Zhongli wherein he's patient enough to just wait it out. He loves spending time with you and doesn't mind your bluntness since it means he doesn't need to dance around anything.
If you try to cut him off he gets sad but he does confront you about it before you go. If he sees you out and about he'll pull you aside and try to ask you why you're trying to leave, then tell you that he'll let you do whatever you want but that he'll really miss you when you're gone.
It takes a couple weeks but you finally decide to come back to him and grumble out an apology for running away from him. He welcomes you back with a hug and reassurance that he doesn't hate you, he just finds it difficult to know what to do when someone doesn't talk to him directly about their issues.
After that, he decides to work more on trying to get you to come out of your shell. He's patient and understanding and when you finally do come out of it he loves seeing how much you talk to him and loves engaging in conversations with you. He always gets a sense of pride knowing that you feel comfortable enough around him to open up so much.
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Xiao is a little difficult. He doesn't have much patience and you both run into the issue of being too similar that you run into issues because of it. It's not that you two fight, it's more that if you two decide that you want to cut off the other person, you will not be talked to unless someone breaks the silence.
Your friendship is generally relaxed, both of you just being heavily into enjoying each other's presence and not having to deal with any pretenses thanks to honesty on both sides. Xiao does like that part because it makes his life easier when he's able to just know what you mean since you're being honest.
If you decide that your friendship is getting too familiar and cut him off he'll get annoyed but if you don't seem to be trying to reach out to him he'll decide it's more trouble than it's worth. That means if you miss him you end up having to reach out to him first. However, if it takes long enough he might decide he's going to start just observing you from afar, wanting to keep you safe but not wanting to engage contact since you didn't seem interested in doing so either.
It's not until he realises that you're looking for him that you miss him too, watching as you discreetly bring your eye line up to the buildings or trees that he told you he'd frequent as he would watch the harbour. He decides to continue watching to see if you'd keep looking for him, figuring out that you were. One day he lets your gaze linger on him and offers a wave that you return, deciding that that's enough contact for him to talk to you about what you were doing.
When you two finally clear the air that means you're back to hanging out with each other. He makes a concentrated effort to be more open with you which you respond to well, becoming more extroverted and taking over conversations for the two of you. He really appreciates it, loving to hear you talk and glad that he let you in to his bubble as well.
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