#i also should add the necessary disclaimer that i am by no means an expert and there are definitely lots more films worth mentioning that..

[muu-kun]

Mental Health Masterpost Blurb: Counting / Number Association Defined Through Prior Compulsive Behaviors

Being that it has been a hot minute since a deep dive headcanon has been posted, I figured it was about time I got to discussing some of what I've been meaning to for some time. This go around will be on the topics above. Which, as with prior posts regarding mental health, the disclaimer that icky subjects such as abuse and assault are likely to be mentioned at some point below. In addition to such a warning, I also want to remind the masses that I am not an expert on this subject as I myself do Not have OCD. Therefore if you ever see something worth correcting, please bring it to my attention. I'd genuinely appreciate being able to fix something than let it misinformation fester longer than at all necessary.

How is a compulsive behavior defined and in what context is counting one of them?

Compulsive behaviors include thoughts, urges, and/or behaviors that persist despite their negative impact over health, jobs, or relationships. Compulsions as is specifically, however, are repetitive behaviors or thoughts that a person uses with the intention of neutralizing, counteracting, or making their obsessions go away. Something to keep in mind is that, in most cases, individuals with OCD feel driven to engage in compulsive behavior and would rather not have to do these time-consuming and often torturous acts. Frankly, people with OCD perform compulsions because they believe these rituals are necessary to prevent negative consequences and/or to escape or reduce anxiety or the presence of obsessions.

Of the many compulsions seen throughout the various sections withing Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, one that had prior been depicted by Muu in his adolescence before trailing off in early adulthood was that of assigning numbers to two specific activities: speaking and shouting for help.

For speaking, the expectation was to limit his phrases to two word increments to greatly reduce the likelihood of harm through chatting his way into revealing that he was annoying, or weird on top of already carrying the label of dunce by his peers. Proper nouns were never included in his two word limitations for reasons of their own, but to add more logic in the uniqueness of how he carried himself in his youth is beyond him as he has yet to discover why two became the be all instead of none, one, or even three.

Especially considering the fact three became the chosen criteria for another habit in particular; however, that one he can explain quite easily as it was an act he picked up from the assurance of an male friend who'd sworn to him as a teenager that all he'd have needed to do in times of danger is call out their name three times, and they'd save him. It never would prove true, yet the amount of times he has tried it just in case-- as well as go on to list the names of others close to him in case they instead had a superpower making them capable of hearing him miles away-- is entirely immeasurable. Even a decade later, he'd probably give it a try for old times sake just in case his umpteenth time trying was just the right one he needed to make after all.

Examples for both behaviors is included below.

Common phrases to be heard when he used to only speak in two word increments, or ones that would be used just as is since he's often strongly contemplated going back to such a pattern of communication for some time now:

"Play with Muu-kun?"

"You carry Muu-kun?"

"Making mad!!"

"So hungry.."

Whereas his rule of three is mainly as follows for what order he calls out specific names is can be most comparable to this:

Veena, the person go tell him of such a habit needing to be done in the first place.

His older brother, Matthew. The first person to really be his protector in life, so of course he must notably wants his comforting before someone else's should he have a choice.

Whoever is his romantic partner at any given time usually lands at this mark.

His primary best friend

Following close companions

Friends of his, but more specifically those with either a legitimate age difference over him, or instead are significantly wise for their age by being thought of as caretakers by himself truly

General acquaintances that are actively present in his life

Past friends and acquaintances that he misses. They may not have a current space in their life for him to reside in, and yet he still beckons their name out into the universe just in case doing so is the remedy for not only being rescued by them in the moment, but also to have them around as his friend from there on out. There are sadly a lot of names placed upon this section of the list. Every one of which he misses so much no matter how many days mark their separation.

[maggiecheungs]

hello ! Sorry to bother But I was wondering if u had any 90's Hong Kong movies that you could recommend me ? I'm researching them for school and I usually get the most interesting and gutwrenching sinophone movie recs from your blog so I thought I should ask if u had any ! Thank u ❣️

Hey you 🥰 this is probably waaaaaay to late to be of any help with your research (sorry!) but I'll answer anyway just in case <3 (also, it got. a bit long 😳 so sorry about that lmao)

I'll start off by addressing the elephant in the room, a.k.a. Wong Kar-wai: the director you really can't avoid mentioning when talking about 90s and 00s Hong Kong cinema, and for good reason. I won't mention all his films here, but his best known are probably In the Mood for Love (which is regularly hailed as one of the greatest films ever made, which. yes); Happy Together (a staple of queer cinema starring Tony Leung and Leslie Cheung caught up in a fever-like, destructive love affair in Buenos Aires); Chungking Express (another classic beloved by many, many people); Fallen Angels (a stylish and chaotically seductive about eccentric figures inhabiting Hong Kong's nightlife).

Another director from this period who I think is worth highlighting is Stanley Kwan. He's probably best known for Rouge, which is from 1987 but which I’m including because it’s a classic; it stars the wonderful Leslie Cheung and Anita Mui as the principals in a doomed, decades-spanning love affair, featuring sumptuous visuals, ghosts, and time-slippages between the 1930s and 1980s. His other most notable work is probably Center Stage (1991); it's a very meta biopic of the 1930s actress Ruan Lingyu, who is portrayed by Maggie Cheung, and Kwan uses the film to draw parallels between the two actresses living decades apart. And I'll also mention his Lan Yu (2001), a gay love story set against the backdrop of Tiananmen Square and its aftermath (it's probably weird to admit that this is one of my comfort films but shrugs).

Comrades: Almost a Love Story (1996) is an absolute favourite of mine, about immigrant identity, missed chances and lives you could have led, human connection under capitalism, and the love story between two people whose paths keep crossing despite everything--all of which is topped off with fantastic performances from Maggie Cheung and Leon Lai.

Farewell My Concubine (1993) was a Hong Kong-mainland co-production and is probably one of the best known films on this list, starring the fantastic Leslie Cheung in one of the defining performances of his career (tbh it would be worth watching for his performance alone). Coming in at just under 3 hours, it's a cinematic epic in pretty much every sense of the word.

Speaking of Leslie Cheung: Viva Erotica (1996), in which he plays an arthouse director whose Serious Films keep flopping, so he has to turn his next film into an erotic movie financed by a triad boss. It’s funny and big-hearted and has some unexpectedly interesting things to say about filmmaking and cinema as both an industry and as an artform.

Ann Hui is one of the few female big-name Hong Kong directors of the 90s; I'd recommend her 1990 film Song of the Exile--a film about generational conflict, immigration, cultural alienation and family ties, which takes place across the UK, Hong Kong, and Japan, and stars Maggie Cheung in the lead role. (Another prominent woman director from the period whom I've been meaning to watch since forever Mabel Cheung--really looking forward to finally seeing something of hers soon.)

Takeshi Kaneshiro and Kelly Chen had quite a few collaborations which are rather nice. Their Anna Magdalena (1998) is a quirky but poignant love-triangle story that inexplicably turns into a delightful steampunk romp. Lost and Found (1996) is another quirky-but-poignant love story, albeit a little more sedate.

For action films, there's the legendary John Woo, whose films are pretty quintessential action flicks--Hard Boiled is a pretty good example of his filmography. There's also The Heroic Trio and Executioners (both 1993): an action duology starring Michelle Yeoh, Maggie Cheung and Anita Mui as a trio of ass-kicking vigilante superheroes. It's sooooo much fun, peak cinema, marvel could never, etc. etc. I'm also going to mention Infernal Affairs (2002), starring Tony Leung Chiu-wai and Andy Lau, because it's one of my favourite action thriller films of all time.

Wuxia: a lot of the most well-known titles of the genre are from the first decades of the 2000s, and because of their scope they tend to be international productions, but often had veteran Hong Kong actors in main roles (for example, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000), Hero (2002), House of Flying Daggers (2004)--all of which I would recommend, btw). But there were also quite a few wuxia films that came out of Hong Kong in the 90s, including New Dragon Gate Inn (a fun 1992 remake of the 1960s wuxia classic, starring Brigitte Lin, Tony Leung Ka-fai, Maggie Cheung); The Green Snake (1993), a retelling of the traditional Legend of the White Snake that doubles as an interesting deconstruction of lots of the main tropes of the wuxia genre; Wong Kar-wai's 1994 Ashes of Time, which has an insanely star-studded cast and is pretty much what you'd expect a wkw wuxia film to be like.

.......aaaaaaand i'm going to stop there, because this is already a Lot😅 but hopefully there's something of use in here--if not for your research, then at least recommending a new film to watch <3

[shijiujun]

I noticed that you've done Chinese calligraphy (very pretty btw) and I wanted to ask if you know of any good resources for beginners?

heya!!!! thanks for that!! this is a timely ask because i was thinking i’d do a round-up anyway some time down the road so this is good XD 

firstly tho, i’d like to put out a disclaimer that i’m no expert at this and am pretty much an amateur. so i took calligraphy classes for three years at a national calligraphy center (not that it made me a pro or shite because i don’t one bit have a natural affinity for it). if there are any calligraphy experts on this site, please feel free to add to this or correct me.

once again, i’m not claiming that everything i know is super accurate, all my basics were taught by a teacher so i’m not super sure where to go for self-learning but here’s what i know in brief for an unreliable, personal crash course:

↳ there are a lot of types of calligraphy, but i’ll just simply go on two types for now:

(1) normal calligraphy 书法 with a 毛笔 (calligraphy brush)

(2) contemporary calligraphy 硬笔书法 that’s done with a pen (can be 0.7/1.0 ball point or fountain pens with thin/thick nibs etc., although using fountain pens is considered something influenced by the west, and a lot of people prefer to use inky ball points instead for better flexibility)

↳ in terms of font/style there are five main groups (of which examples i will give in calligraphy brush, not a normal pen), and the first two are the most commonly used ones:

(1) 行书 - semi-cursive script

(2) 楷书 - regular script

(3) 草书 - cursive script

(4) 篆书 - seal script

(5) 隶书 - clerical script

↳ what are the differences and how do you pick a style to begin with?

in general people start with either 行书 or 楷书 especially for young adults these days because honestly, these are the more clearly visible forms that most of us that read chinese can decipher, as you can probably tell from the above differences. it’s literally chinese as most of us know it.

even those who’ve practiced calligraphy for a really long time are still kind of arguing on whether beginners should start with 行书 or 楷书, and the 楷书 camp advocates for the learning of regular script before they start inventing with semi-cursive 行书, which has its own merits. after all, with 楷书 you do learn the basics of how to start a stroke, end a stroke, the structure of characters split for the best composition (that’s why a lot of people practice on grid paper), but there are those who started with 行书 that say it’s easier to go to 楷书 after you learn semi-cursive.

the rule of thumb is, learn the style you like best and you think you can follow best. i began with 楷书 and honestly haven’t figure out 行书 much i have to say. although personally, if you are not familiar with chinese characters in general, i’d recommend going with 楷书 first. only because you know exactly how many strokes there are etc., whereas with semi-cursive there are some tricks to it that you might not need to know right now.

篆书 is considered like an ancient form of writing font and was used in certain periods and dynasties not that i know which ones, but if you watch certain cdramas, you’ll definitely have seen this font - this font is also commonly used to make stamping seals (i’ll explain what’s written on seals below)

隶书 was invented sometime after that for, as the name suggests, administrative purposes where clerics required a faster font to write with. lastly, there’s 草书, which as you can tell, is a hell lot harder to decipher! this is because this font was created more as an aesthetic, art form than actual like reading. there are some that are of course written clearly, but the extreme curves and like sometimes even thicker brushes are used for aesthetics/style sake like this one:

↳ some general advice when you’re practicing

(1) this is a time-intensive practice and requires a lot of patience but is incredibly rewarding - it’s not something that will come immediately even if you watch tutorials and practice a single word for like a week. just like english calligraphy, you’ll probably have to practice for months/years depending on how much you can practice BUT it’s not as if you need to put up ‘perfect’ work each time, and it’s more important to find your own style after getting the basics right

(2) my teacher and a lot of calligraphy enthusiasts always nag and say: chinese calligraphy is not about just technique, you need to write with the heart - [练字重在热情, 只要能坚持就好] this sound incredibly philosophical but is pretty much the old adage of if you like something and have passion for it, keep at it and you’ll get it eventually

↳ brushes

okay, here’s where it might get a little complicated - the type of brush you need depends on the type of font you’re going for, and of course if you don’t have that many choices, just go for whatever you have as long as the ends of the brush aren’t split [cr: https://www.sohu.com/a/343812958_161249]

(1) 硬毫笔 (hard): made of wolf, horse, rabbit, deer hair etc.

(2) 软毫笔 (soft): made of sheep hair etc.

(3) 兼毫笔 (medium): mixed with hair used to make both hard and soft brushes

(4) i think there are now brushes made of synthetic hair as well now #technology especially if it’s a cheap brush, also there are only so many animal hairs you can grab XD

obviously, is it more difficult to start with (2), the soft brush - it is said that once you begin with the soft brush and master it, you can use any brush. i started with a hard brush, especially for 楷书 because you need a hard brush to help you end the strokes precisely but that’s because i’m half a noob

for 行书 and 草书, because it’s cursive right and requires flexibility, of course a soft brush works better!

length of the brush matters as well - it is easier to control a shorter and slightly thicker brush than it is to control a lengthier and thinner brush - i’ve tried both, and i died with the second one, you can see the different varieties here:

*most calligraphy brushes for daily normal practice have pointed tips, the one you see on the far left is obviously a wide tip and this is only used for larger or huge pieces, those with four characters, and typically used with 草书

size of your desired font matters too - if you’re going for a dainty size, do use smaller, shorter and thinner brushes like these:

regular sized fonts would do well with brushes like these:

↳ paper

(1) print 

square paper is your best friend - beginners should honestly start with grid paper and the type that sections the square nicely for you here, but once you’re familiar, any square/grid paper will do for practice, any size works as well, depends on what size font you’re trying to go for

square/columned/blank paper for final product

(2) paper types

yellow or white thin calligraphy practice paper, made of rice or normal paper - usually comes in a huge stack, feels a little like felted paper - they’re also usually folded into huge scroll-like stacks

normal A4 grid or column foolscap/paper - this list is not exhaustive, you can technically use any type of paper as long as it helps you to space out the words nicely

↳ miscellaneous accessories

(1) ink and ink holder - there is a special kind of ink for calligraphy called 墨 and people usually just buy it in bottles these days. in ancient times you had to 研墨 rub/scrape the ink out (which you can see with the rectangular pieces below). it honestly has a really pungent smell in my opinion for certain brands especially the cheaper ones, but that’s the authentic type i guess!

as for ink holders, just use a tiny plate or a tiny sauce plate (i stole one from my grandma XD)

(2) brush holder －  not really necessary unless you have a lot of brushes and need a place to hold them. the reason to have one of these is also because it’ll help the brush keep its shape and will help it last longer as well

(3) stamps - for a final product, you should end it with a stamp! there are different types of stamps and different types of fonts, you can use the seal font for this as well, or just usual regular script this is your watermark/signature for calligraphy pieces

shapes come in ovals, squares, circles 

characters in the stamp - it can be your surname, your full name, or even like a full poem for a huge stamp 

ink - usually when you purchase a stamp and have it carved, it comes also with a red ink stamp pad, traditionally, stamps on calligraphy pieces are stamped in red

(4) felt base - we use felt bases so that when you write the ink doesn’t seep through the paper! but honestly newspaper works as well, but i bought it for real cheap on taobao 

(5) paper weights - buy some nice chinese-style paperweight or just use whatever you have on hand because the papers are REALLY THIN and always end up flying somewhere

(1) get your strokes right first 

honestly, get all your single/compound strokes right first! which means starting with words such as 一，二，三 and others

some videos: 

(2) move onto other more complex words, one at a time

(3) print practice papers, get tracing paper and trace over each

here’s one but any works: https://kuaibao.qq.com/s/20191230AZP1AK00?refer=spider

---

so that’s all i have!! let me know if you’ve got any other questions or need some other resources for me to point you to!

[scarletravenswood]

Pagan vs Christian Worldview || 4 HUGE Differences

One of the most common questions I receive is if someone can be both Christian and Pagan. This is a difficult question as it depends on what perspective you're coming from. From a Christian perspective the answer is definitely NO as in Christianity you must only believe in the one ‘true’ God. If you’re looking from the Pagan perspective the idea of combining Christianity & Paganism is a bit more possible because as Pagans we can always add on an additional deity, which in this case would be the Christian God, into our religious practice. However, there are some huge differences between the Pagan & Christian lifestyle and worldview that would make combining these two faiths difficult. So for this video & blogpost I want to share what I view makes the Pagan worldview so fundamentally different from Christianity.

Now before we begin, some disclaimers. I am not an official expert on religion. This is just my personal understanding of the differences between Paganism and Christianity so take everything I mention with a grain of salt. I understand that there is complexity and nuance to everything and this is just meant to be an introduction & my personal beliefs. This is also a very difficult topic to tackle because Paganism is an umbrella term and there are many different religions with varying beliefs and practices that could be considered Pagan. For the purposes of this post I’m using commonalities I find among the majority of Pagan religions, though this will of course not reflect all Pagans or Pagan religions.

Now that we got that out of the way here are 4 fundamental differences between Paganism and Christianity:

One God vs. Many Gods

In Christianity there is belief in one true god. Those that believe in this God will ascend to heaven and those that believe in either multiple deities or a different singular God are incorrect and they must be “saved” or else they will not ascend to heaven. In Paganism we believe in multiple Gods. While there may be a hierarchy of Gods, with some more powerful than others, the belief in multiple deities is an essential part to Paganism.

This makes Paganism distinctively different from Christianity and also makes it extremely versatile as each individual can choose the deities they would like to incorporate in their religious practice. This Pagan worldview also allows for religious syncretism which is the blending of two or more religious belief systems into a new system. The deity Hermes Trismegistus is an example of this as he is a deity formed by combining the Greek god Hermes and the Egyptian god Thoth.

Why is Religious syncretism important? Well, Pagans have the ability to adopt other deities and religious customs instead of completely rejecting them as wrong or sinful. Because of this unique feature it is my personal belief that Paganism is very conducive to peacefully living in a society that is filled with a diversity of people with various faiths. Also, as a side note, since there is not ONE true God in Paganism that means that others don’t need to be “saved” so there is no need to proselytize in Paganism. “Spreading the word” or converting others is not necessary or desired in Paganism.

Faith vs. Actions

Faith is the most important aspect of Christianity. Sin can be forgiven as long as you confess & have faith in the one true God. For example, in Hebrews 11:6 “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.”

In most Pagan societies, faith was secondary to actions. It was more important to perform the rituals & festivals to honor the Gods than it was to fully believe in the Gods. It was your actions in life, not your faith, that determined your place in the afterlife. You can look at Valhalla as an example - it was your strength in battle, not your faith, that determined a place in Valhalla.

You can also look towards ancient Roman society where religion was practical and contractual, based on the principle of "I give that you might give." Roman religion depended on knowledge and the correct practice of prayer, ritual, and sacrifice, not on faith or dogma. Excessive devotion or fearful groveling to deities was considered undignified in Roman society. This does not mean that faith was unimportant among Pagan societies, it just means that it was not valued in the same way as it was within a Christian worldview.

For example, we can look at a quote from Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations, “Since it is possible that you might depart from life this very moment, regulate every act and thought accordingly. But to go away from among men, if there are gods, is not a thing to be afraid of, for the gods will not involve you in evil; but if indeed they do not exist, or if they have no concern about human affairs, why would I wish to live in a universe devoid of gods or devoid of Providence? But in truth they do exist, and they do care for human things, and they have put all the means in man’s power to enable him not to fall into real evils.”

Here Marcus Aurelius is stating how the Gods have created us not to watch over us to see if we are sinning, but instead they have empowered us to create and mold our own lives. Faith here is not what’s truly important. What’s important is the quest to empower ourselves to actions that better our lives and the lives of others.

Mercy vs. The Warrior

In Christianity there is a focus on humility, peace, and meekness and an de-emphasis on physical strength & the warrior archetype. For example, Matthew 5:5 - “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.”

This is much different from Paganism. There is not a ‘turn the other cheek’ worldview and Pagan societies were not always peaceful or gentle. In fact, pretty much every Pagan society had at least one God of war.

This does not mean that we as modern pagans condone violence. However, it does mean the warrior archetype has value and that building both physical & mental strength can be an active part of Pagan practice. If you are interested in learning more about the Warrior archetype I would recommend watching the video The Archetype of the Warrior – How Films Help Empower Us All. 

Strength in the Pagan worldview, both personally & collectively as a society, was greatly important. For example, you can consider the value of athletic glory in Ancient Greece or you can look towards Socrates who wrote, “No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.”

In Paganism the body is not sinful nor is it something to be ignored. In fact, the body is an integral part of spiritual practices. Through bodily strength & pleasures we gain access to glimpses of the divine, but that does not mean we should descend into purely hedonism. There is of course a time & a place for hedonism in Paganism, but it must be balanced by a strong body and mind.

Focus on Afterlife vs. Focus on Life

In a Christian worldview the goal is to live in faith without sin so that you may ascend to heaven. In many Christian texts and in certain aspects of modern Christian culture there is a yearning for this life to end and for the rapture to occur. During this time faithful Christians will be chosen by God and the rest of us will descend to hell for eternity.

Even the main symbol of Christianity, the cross, focuses on death and the afterlife. Additionally, you have the concept of the martyr - to sacrifice your life for God leads to sainthood.

By contrast, the afterlife is not as important within Pagan societies. While there are some occasional mentions of places like Elysium or Valhalla, it’s clear that the afterlife was not a main focus of Pagan religions. Instead, a main focus of Pagan religious rites and festivals was to celebrate life & fertility. This celebration of fertility is a clear departure from the Christian worldview.

In Christianity, female sexuality and fertility is often viewed through a lens of sin. Pagan societies however, greatly celebrated fertility - both our human fertility and the fertility of the land. Some of the earliest art we humans created, like the Venus of Willendorf, emphasized the sexuality & fertility of the female form and celebrating this fertility is an integral part of pretty much all pagan religions.

When it comes to death in Pagan societies, it was your legacy that mattered much more than where you end up after you die. For Pagans achieving eternity did not mean dying and going somewhere where you’ll live forever. Instead eternity was achieved when the great acts you performed in life are remembered & retold by your descendants and your community.

There’s a lot more I could discuss about the differences between the Christian & Pagan worldview, such as Purity of God vs Flawed Gods or the Intersection of Science and faith in Christianity & Paganism so let me know if you enjoyed this post and I maybe I will make a part 2.

Next I’d love to hear what you think are some of the fundamental differences between Christianity and Paganism, so please share your thoughts as well. ✨

[munchflix]

MUNCHFLIX - “DEMON” HOUSE

IMDB BLURB: Paranormal investigator and moldy walnut Zak Bagans documents the most authenticated case of possession in American history.

WARNINGS: Zak Bagans is a fucking asshole. Correllation is not causation. Also mentions of suicide and murder. 

RATING: An 8 out of 10 on the demon scale

OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: All reviews are done solely for humor and should not be taken seriously ever. If you cannot handle cursing, crude humor and probably some offensive things, pls do not read this. 

Munch: I'm Munchflower Zaius, paranormal movie investigator. I've investigated like 10 terrible paranormal movies this week. I don't have a t.v. show but if I did it wouldn't be a ghost hunting show. I'm one of the leading researchers on ghosts and demonology because if Zak fucking Bagans is then so am I - and this is the movie that really fucked Biscuits up. This movie was the next paranormal activity, it was the next Asylum movie, and I went all out. I had resources like Amazon Prime, a great crew of just Biscuits, I thought I was gonna crush this review. But in the end...nothing was as it seemed.

M: Biscuits fell ill and couldn't leave his room for 8 days, he didn't feel like himself. He screamed and wailed and tore at his hair. (no really ) He drew pictures of Zak Bagans and set them on fire.  I fired him or he quit or something. Witnesses and experts ended up in the hospital and at the heart of it all was a little screwed up ghost hunter. It took us three years to write this review, we had everything we needed...but the truth is...this film is cursed. 

Biscuits: I hate this fucking movie. I have watched some terrible movies, we have reviewed some terrible movies. But this movie...this movie makes me angry beyond words. This movie makes me hate. This movie made me so furious that I not only hate it, I hate Zak Bagans, the man. I have never met him, but if I did, I think I would punch him in the balls. This review is going to be 90% me just screaming, because it makes me that mad. 

M: This is gonna be my fucking opening gif right here...

B: Oh yeah, this - there's a demon here in this fucking Amazon Prime video. He got in with his fucking 30-day free trial. Oooo it's gonna come get us! I'm so scared!!

M: ...

B: Oh, Zak "I-have-a-series-on-the-Travel-Channel" Bagins! Yeah, that makes you a qualified expert demonologist, Zak. "One of the world's LEADING researchers on ghosts and demonology" - no, no you're fucking not! What do you actually know about demons?? Also, let's add the fact that Zak Bagans is a terrible actor, and his monotone narration does nothing to improve the atmosphere of the movie.

B: It took him three years to finish this film, and it still sucks! Way to go buddy, it took us three days to make that potato salad!! THREE DAYS!

B: "This film is cursed!!" Yes it is, this is the curse! It's cursed to make me angry!

M: So spoopy! I'm spooped solid, are you spooped solid? Actually, if I had to say, my spoop level is actually somewhere along the levels of 'explosive diarrhea'.

B: This movie is explosive diarrhea. That's - that's a man whistling into the microphone, subtitled as 'wind whistling'. We are Zak Bagans' therapist for a minute, helping him dissect his dreams. One time I had a dream where I traded my non-existant son for two cool posters. I don't think THAT dream meant anything. Imagine a ghost hunter having dreams about ghosts!

M: Imagine a ghost hunter.

            Pictured: Zak Bagggggans confused by electrical equipment

B: We also introduce the idea of a 12-foot-tall goat man, who never really comes up in the movie again. Is that Orcus himself? Oh shit, this is getting real. I'm not high level enough to fight a demon lord!

M: The demon vaped in my face!

B: "And I knew...this was some serious shit that meant something." I COULDN'T make that shit up. Genuinely. What does it mean, Zak? Would you care to explain? I don't know what does it mean.

B: This movie is NOT actually about the well-known Gary, Indiana story of demon posession. It's mostly about Zak Bagins fucking around.

M: Mentally masturbating himself for being some sort of sick ghost expert. Why would anyone call Zak Bagans about this? I think he made that shit up.

B: So, basically, Zak Bagans bought this house in Gary, Indiana where this alleged possession took place. A newscaster pronounces his name as 'Zak Baggins'. Guys, Bilbo Baggins bought this haunted house! He bought it because he wanted to make a movie about it.

M: Why?

B: To convince everyone that his 'ghost hunting' career is legitimate and he shouldn't have dropped out of college. Useless footage of Zak Bagans convincing some homeless people to move out of this abandoned house. Don't get them involved in this, it looks very cold and they were probably just trying to find a warm place to warm place to stay. Don't get them involved in your shitty fake documentary.

M: Also, if this house is really like, MEGA haunted, why are homeless people hanging out in it? Homeless people ain't got time for ghosts.

B: No, they have real problems. Wow, this fuckin house looks like an empty house! Oh, this is the best part - he gets a text from a psychic medium. a warning he'll 'never forget', and we'll never forget either! He shows us this obviously voice-to-texted message claiming that he saw visions of a very large demon figure and that this house is, and I quote, an '8 out of 10 on the demonic scale'.

                                          Pictured: a demonic scale. 

M: I wanna see this fucking scale. I actually googled demon scale after watching this because I had never heard of a fucking demon scale. Guess what, there's no demon scale. If you have access to this demon scale, PLEASE message me. I have a mighty need to see this thing. 

B: WHAT the fuck is he talking about? Where is this demon scale?? Who made this demon scale?? This bitch just literally fucking made that shit up and thought we wouldn't notice.

M: And again, what exactly does this goat demon have to do with the house? What is the actual connection?

B: Does he just like hanging out there? Also, insert shots of some guy in a goat suit to make it seem scary. But we know that's just a guy in a goat suit. I guess that's what the demon is supposed to look like?

B: This also pisses me off - Zak Bagans and his crew track down this poor family by finding their home address from news footage, which is stalking, because they won't return his phone calls.

B: Also, let's not forget Zak's claim that a clairvoyant said this house was 'home to 200 demons'. WHAT?? Zak recounts some of the story of the family's supernatural experiences. But this is about him now! This movie is about HIM!

            Pictured: I really want to see his artistic rendering of this demon

M: He has about as much reverence for the supernatural as I have for him.

B: Also, they film these people from their car, perhaps as though they didn't want them to know they were being filmed! Good job Zak, stalking an innocent family to record them without their consent for your shitty, self-aggrandizing ghost show. At least they had the decency to blur faces.

B: They then say they don't want to have anything to do with the documentary. Zak Bagans makes up an excuse about how things have attached themselves to him from the house. Just leave these people alone. Problem solved. However, one guy is coerced into talking about what happened during the possession, which mostly affected the kids in the house.

M: I don't discount that something actually happened to the family that lived there, that they may have had some sort of supernatural experience. That's not really what I'm trying to say here - I just don't believe in Zak Bagans.

B: Or, whether it was supernatural or not, something obviously affected them that they perceived as paranormal that made them want to move out of the house. Of course, there are more realistic explanations for many of these experiences, but that's not what we're here to debate. Zak Bagans knows jack shit about parapsychology and is just pretending to for clout.

M: Imaginary clout... Also, these reenactments are the only good part of the movie. Props to those child actors.

     Pictured: children enjoying some fortnite just before becoming possessed.

B: Also, apparently, spirits are like velcro or something. I guess you can get 'infected' with ghosts. Watch out for that coronavirus, of course, but also, watch out for GHOSTS.

B: This priest performed definitely approved and legitimate excorcisms on this house I guess.

M: It's pretty hard to get one of those these days, but what do I know...

B: Yeah, we're not the world's leading experts on ghosts and demonology!

B: Zak Bagans inserts interview footage to make his fake documentary seem legit. If it was a real documentary about the Ammonses' experience, detailing  multiple points of view with people who actually know stuff about supernatural cases and/or parapsycology, it might be a good documentary. However, it is not. Zak Bagans does not know what a documentary is. He thinks he is so cool that he is the only expert necessary because he know EVERYTHING about ghosts.

B: Zak Bagans did not film this. He found footage and has nothing to say about it. He just wants you to believe that he knows stuff. I suppose it's context. But, as I've mentioned, this documentary isn't really about the Ammons family or their experiences in this house, it's about Zak Bagans.

M: All of this is just being set up to try to lend credence to the later part of this movie, which has nothing to do with any of this.

B: Zak Bagans heard someone else was having a demon party and wanted to be invited.

M: It's POSSIBLE, but it's extremely fucking unlikely. Anything is POSSIBLE. You're leading the audience, Zak.

B: Okay, if this was just a horror movie, one of those ones that's 'based ona true story', and Zak wasn't trying to pretend that this is all 100% real, it would be fine. I wouldn't have as much of a problem with it. As it is, it's Zak Bagans trying to convince us all that he's so, so cool. He has found DEFINITIVE proof of demons.

B: Of course it's creepy! It's a basement! It's like saying an attic is creepy - they're ALL creepy.

B: INDISTICT BACKGROUND NOISES??? THAT DON'T EVEN SOUND LIKE A VOICE?? Now we're getting into real ghost shit. While I don't believe Zak Bagans knows shit about ghosts or demons, he obviously has a lot of experience with indeterminate noises.

M: His entire show is indeterminate noises.

B: Ghost hunters LOVE indeterminate noises! Zak Bagans interviews a man about a weird noise on his recording. SO compelling.

B: An AM/FM radio went to static? There can't be any explanation for that other than ghosts... Zak also loves to make claims that he substantiates with NO evidence! It's almost as if he feels the FACTS might not be compelling enough. According to this police officer, the demons affect women and children physically, and 'stronger men electronically'.

M: No input on how it affects the weaker men, though.

B: Also, apparently, the epicenter of this demon outbreak is a spot of dirt under the stairs. Everybody knows dirt is demonic. Demons can't hide in concrete or solid flooring; they like a more naturalistic approach.

B: Aggravate OR abate the demon. Those seem like quite extreme options. Also, listen to the list of super spooky stuff the police officers dug up from the spot under the stairs: a pink press-on nail and PANTIES. Everyone knows a good demonic summoning ritual needs to involve lots of women's panties. VERY spooky. Also, a comb, two children's socks, a heavy bar, and a red tin. All very definitely demonic summoning artifacts and not just random items that got lost.

M: Zak refers to this pile of nonsense as a demonic altar.

                                     Pictured: one demonic altar 

B: This priest is on board too. He thinks these random objects are 100% demonic. Because of reasons. He believes it's NECROMANCY.

M: What does a priest know about necromancy? ...asking for a friend.

B: He knows it involves PANTIES.

M: I've never heard of a necromantic ritual that involves panties...not that I know anything about necromancy.

B: You know more than Zak Bagans does!

M: Ok, I am now an expert on necromancy, and hereby ALL necromantic rituals must involve women's panties...and uhh, a big stick, and a tin, and whatever else you've got laying around.

B: This cop assumed that this was a literal portal to Hell. That's where the panties came from.

M: HELL PANTIES.

B: That would be a great name for like...an all-female metal band. Or a really bad B-movie. Or both.

M: No way those panties could've gotten there any other way...demons is the only logical answer.

   Pictured: Detective Gruszka finally goes to the women’s section at Macy’s

B: THE WALLS WILL OOZE GREEN SLIME! No, wait, that always happens. "Half her hand went completely white" followed by a photo of half of her hand not being completely white.

                                      Pictured: a white person’s hand. 

M: Can I just take a moment again to say how much I don't like Zak Bagans?

B: So many unrelated people...confirmed that there was something on the blinds.

M: Which means...DEMONS ARE REAL! That's the only logical conclusion, right?

B: Insert shot of a spider, because that's SPOOKY.

M: Wow, it must be a lot easier to get an excorcism these days. 

M: Why did Zak Bagans record this phone call?

B: That's a very good fucking question!

M: Did he not? Is he just pulling this shit out of his ass for the camera?

B: His voice is so emotionless you can't tell.

M: Also, what relevance does this have to anything?

B: Big Hollywood producers only want money!! Unlike you, Zak, Zakary, who definitely DIDN'T make THIS movie for money or fame. This nonexistant 'other movie' about this story that is the source of all Zak's problems and DEFINITELY the reason the Ammons don't want to talk to him.

B: The homeless people and the landlord don't believe the house is haunted. That's Zak's version of trying to present a counter-point. Obviously, he never had to write an argumentative essay in school.

M: He was probably the guy in group projects who never did anything.

B: Homeless Person: "Money make you say a whole lotta stuff." Obviously, he's right.

                                   Pictured: no comment needed

B: "I'd like to find out rather the claims are real or false. I'm not here to fabricate nothing or sensationalize on anything..." ZAK.....................................go to hell.

B: You are here ENTIRELY TO fabricate stuff and sensationalize on stuff. That's why you made this MOVIE, Zakary.

M: Gosh it's crazy, it's almost as if money makes people say things.

B: It's almost as if maybe he thought you were paying him to say things for his movie. Did you slip that priest and that police officer some money 'to leave' too? "I'm not gonna tell you that until we sit down and make an agreement" YEAH IT'S ALMOST LIKE HE WANTS MONEY!

M: Zak Bagans is basically damning himself by leaving this in here...this guy's got it figured out, though.

B: He's not telling ghost stories, he's just explaining that this is profitable. Also, Zak does passively mention that there were members of the Ammons family who claim these alleged experiences did not go on. However, he doesn't understand what refuting a counterpoint actually is. It's almost like...he can't. Because, with paranomal shit, there's never enough evidence to truly confirm or deny.

M: "Wow"

B: Wow...insert 'wow' vine here. Oh, and this part where he intentionally brings up a photo he knows is fake and has been definitively debunked. SO, just don't include it!! Also, 'mold and other things' that could've psychologically affected the residents, including carbon monoxide. I have an idea, why don't we make this whole movie about a home inspector inspecting this house...

          Pictured: Munch had the mouse over the screenshot, fuck you. 

M: ALSO, all this shit is just in here to make Zak Bagans SEEM like he's exploring other avenues of explanation, which he then promptly abandons.

B: Zak Bagans has to explain to us (badly) what carbon monoxide and black mold can do to a person psychologically...perhaps causing side effects that can create or enhance the sensation that something supernatural is happening. "It's something to take into consideration." - but he won't.

B: "Some other normal explanation that was now being turned into a money grab." OH. I don't even have anything to say to that. You said it, not me. "Shit got crazy." That's how you know it's legit. Also, we are 32 minutes into this hour-and-a-half long movie, and we are now reaching the point where any sort of legitimacy goes right down the fucking toilet and we are flushed into the festering sewer of Zak Bagans' mind.

B: A family who used to live in the house shows up very conveniently to be in Zak's movie. These kids seem 'very convinced' there are demons. Some mildly supernatural hearsay is presented.

M: Also, point here - if Zak Bagans really believes that spirits can just attach themselves to anyone, then wouldn't he be deliberately endangering these people by taking them down into the basement?

B: An attributed quote that we didn't hear her say...because of course. And, if the basement reminds her of her DEAD BROTHER who used to stay there, that has nothing to do with demons, and is also a perfecty legitimate reason for her to not like going back into the basement after all these years.

                Pictured: A quote that nobody but Zak Biguns heard

M: Zak Bagans then proceeds to TELL THE CHILDREN that he JUST BROUGHT INTO THIS PLACE that demons can 'get inside of you and make you sick'. What, is he immune or something so he's not worried about it happening to him?

B: Also, this woman lived in the house in the 90s when she was only about 10 years old. It's almost as though, and I'm not making any claims here, that he wanted the Ammons family to be in his movie, and when they said no, he got a backup family to take their place in the script.

M: He knows all about possession, 'cause it happened to him.

B: No, for real. I was there. (I was the demon) He started doing ghost hunting because he got possessed once.

M: This is just an excuse for him to tell his origin story. Also, these kids look not on board at all with him being here.

B: Zak Bagans knows how to use Adobe Premiere. He's really proud of it. M: Again, if you believe all this is real, you are genuinely putting these people in danger. If they are legitimately afraid of ghosts following them, you are making it worse. Are you gonna come and save them, Zack?

M: I hate this fake 'EVP analysis' so much. "It SOUNDS like..." yeah, it can sound like anything if you tell people it does.

B: "What's wrong with this boy" is that you TOLD HIM that ghosts could latch onto him! Maybe he's SCARED because YOU SCARED HIM on purpose.

M: Then we get some black-and-white footage of Zak Bagans being a dick, and that's...proof of demons.

B: You pushed this guy a little bit. Honestly, it didn't look like you were pushing him that hard. It's also convenient that you weren't recording at the time but immediately started recording again as soon as you stepped out of the house, because this is all real, and definitely exactly how it happened.

B: These guys have to explain to Zak what he did, so that the audience can also get explained to what happened in the footage they just saw. I don't know anyone could have construed that as anything other than a genuine demonic possession.

M: He's not even a credible actor, like there's nothing believable about these performances. It's such shit. Zak Bagend must leave (for no reason) but then someone tries to break into what he repeatedly calls " My House" as if he lives there. Why would anyone want to break into his jank ass haunted house? This seems really unlikely. Zachhh says the cops won't go in the house. Too scared. Zak says it's " a different kind of haunting." Wtf does that even mean?

M: Zak is now interviewing the CPS worker from the case that this was supposed to be about.

B: Yeah you remember that?

M: No, not anymore. She seems credible, Zak Bagnnnns does not. I really don't believe he believes in any of this.

B: Yeah ask the woman about her emotional trauma, Zak. Ask a CPS worker about her trauma. Be like oh so this was a traumatic experience for you? You should talk about it with me for this shitty documentary!

M: She says her therapist told her to seek help. That's...pretty bad right? When your therapist says to seek help? Now some informative badly edited cards about things that allegedly happened in this house. Why didn't we hear anything from the home inspector who was choked in his sleep and got cancer??? That's some real shit!

                 Pictured: The one guy we really wanted to hear from 

B: This DEFINITELY had everything to do with demons. Demons are the #1 cause of cancer in the United States. They don't want you to know that.

M: Oh the fucking bike ride. On his way to do a second exorcism on Latoya ( why did she need a second exorcism?) this priest fell off his bike. Because demons.

B: Well you know it's not an exact science. I'd go so far as to say it's not science! It's not even science adjacent. Zak Bagel doesn't even know wtf science is.

M: I am literally laughing out loud. This priest says the demon was trying to figure out what would stop him from going forward with this second exorcism and the best thing this fucking demon, this 8 out 10 DEMON ON THE DEMON SCALE DEMON can come up with is knocking a dude off his bike?? Just get back on your bike, man.

B: This is my major problem with this movie, especially this second half. Zak Brainend presenting all this random shit that happened and blaming it on demons. This is the 21st century, we don't blame all our problems on demons. We don't live in the middle ages. This priest falling off his bike wasn't because of demons. 

M Correllation is not causation. This detective fucking slid on ice two days after being in the house and ended up in the ER. That is not because of demons.  Wait...is he interviewing him in the fucking ghost house?

B: And then he brings up him being shot during a home invasion and blames that on demons.

M: So he gets a call from Mika who was part of the backup family to tell him her daughter is in distressl WHY would you call Zak Braggans?

    Pictured: A girl with her face blurred out because I’m not Zak Bagans

B: This pisses me off. If this girl is actually suicidal and actually tried to kill herself, you don't put that in your shitty demon movie. If she's actually depressed and hurting herself you don't put that in there. It's not cool. It's very exploitative. You don't know anything about ths girl's mental illness or anything that's going on in her life. If this is all indeed real and not scripted, you're just a piece of shit!

M: But demons! 

B: Stay out of it Zak, this doesn't involve you. You're not a psychologist or a therapist, it's not your business. 

B: One of his crew members quits. Because of the demons.

M: And not because he thought maybe Zak exploiting a suicidal girl was bad. Where did they find this priest anyway, he seems so sketchy. 

B: I'm also pissed that they brought this suicidal girl in to have an EXORCISM. She needs mental help and therapy and a licensed person to help her. You don't give her an exorcism and go oh you're fine. When the exorcism doesn't work she's going to feel extra shitty. But whatever Zak, it's your fucking movie. You do whatever you want for your movie. Who am I to tell you what you can and can't do with a suicidal teenage girl. 

M: This confirms to me that this priest is sketchy as fuck. If he was reliable he would have said Zak no, this girl needs actual help. Zak is still blaming demons. I hate him so much. I hate his stupid douchebag face. 

B: And he sits here and puts this girl on camera and asks her questions about it. NO NO fuck you, genuinely fuck you Zak. Again, this is exploitative as shit. Trying to make cutting her wrists into being some kind of stigmata. Fuck you. This doesn't have anything with demons.

    Pictured: A religious phenomena usually experienced by the very devout 

M: Why would demons invoke stigmata anyway, that's....not how that works. 

B: It's just feels like Zak Blehgins is exploiting this family and trying to convince them that everything is demons from this house they spent 10 minutes in. Again, it's like he has no idea what he shouldn't do. Nobody thought to ask her about her feelings. If this is real she needs help and not Zak Blahggg asking her questions with a camera in her face. 

M: This poor teenage girl does not want to be in this. Her head drops and they're like OKAY EXORCISM OVER SHE'S FINE. Then Zak's psychic friendo Debbie tries to make contact with the demon remotely. Why? Why would she invite that? Does she wanna hang out?

B: Is she gonna like text the demon? Facebook messenger? How many psychic friends does he have? 

M: Oh she succeeded I guess and it said WHARBLGARBL. And then Debbie was killed in a double murder suicide.

                                           Pictured: Wharblgarble

B: Her husband murdered her and her roommate and if you really cared you would not put this in your goddamn demon documentary. Can you just leave shit like this out of it? Tie your friend's murder into your damn demons. This is why I hate Zak Biguns. He's a fucking manipulative asshole who tries to spin murder and suicide and cancer into his conspiracy theory movie about demons. ANOTHER point, the common thread among all of these stories is YOU, Zak, you could make exactly the same point about you. He also found a Hell is Real sign. Also trying to claim that demonic activity is higher in areas with high crime rates, poverty and murders. 

M: And now some facts about Gary, Indiana. 

B: And also exploiting this poverty stricken predominately black community. A segment where we explore actual problems that this place has. Zak you fucking absolute....

M: Zak is now telling us that like 5 people died there but he can't discount that someone close to the Ammonses might have cursed the house and invited the demons. Like...5 people dying there wasn't enough for you Zak? Zak's gonna go kick Latoya's boyfriend's ass because he thinks he tried to curse them with panties. That's a real thing that's happening. Zak can now tell whether people are into the occult by looking at them. 

B: Another previously unknown superpower. Maybe he has a white savior complex.

M: MAYBE? The boyfriend doesn't wanna talk. Big shock. 

B: What did you think was gonna happen.

M: This guy is a piece of work. Dr. Barry Taff, who holds a doctorate in psychophysiology. ( the study of the relationship between physiological and psychological phenomena, I had to look it up so you get to learn too, bitches ) He's gonna come and see if electromagnetic stuff is causing the demons. But everything is normal so...therefore demons. But there's a spike in the basement. That doesn't mean it's demons though. In fact, it would seem to indicate the opposite.

B: This happens on a lot of ghost hunting shows. I'm not sure what your weird electromagnetic shit has to do with ghosts but..?

                     Pictured: Zak Bagans realizing he’s a huge idiot

M: Now Zak has to go walk off again. He's being really affected by these demons. Weren't there supposed to be like 200 demons here or something? Doesn't this really do more to explain that demons aren't real? 

Z: Zak Braggins is a superconductor. He also seems genuinely surprised by what this guy is telling him.

M: That's because he doesn't understand science. Something causes him to lunge at the doctor, which is totally believable.

B: He just got mad the guy wasn't telling him it was demons. Fuck you and your science! The doctor hears a dog. Everyone knows demons bark like dogs. You said it was  goat man, why does it bark like a dog? 

M: So much footage of dudes just walking around supposedly being affected. Might be the carbon monoxide they actually detected earlier? Or the black mold?

   B: I love this part! This is fucking great. Footage of this guy walking around and then the cameraman's finger gets in the shot. It totally doesn't look exactly like what happens when you put your finger in front of the lens. Totally.

M: It's demons, obviously. The black anomaly. It's a fucking finger. They're just filming this dude walking around who seems to be ill and claiming he's touching the anomaly and shit. Take this dude to the fucking doctor. 

B: They take it to some NASA dude who enhances it and says there's no way it's the cameraman's finger. I still don't believe it's not the cameraman's finger. Oh shit, I just realized...I have fingers!

M: It might be a dick. 

B: If this cameraman and the doctor both feel faint, maybe you should just get out of the house!

M: This literally sounds like carbon monoxide poisoning which can cause nauseau, headaches, confusion, memory loss and literally every other thing except bad acting. Adam the cameraman wanders off and they find him in the basement. He later apparently starts VOMITING BLOOD??? Take this boy to the hospital! He starts screaming Zak in a weird voice so they decide to film it, natch.

                                  Pictured: Criminal negligence

B: Zak....zaaaaaaaaak i need to go to the hospital....this seems like negligence. M: Now they've lost him. Lots of footage of Adam being really aggressive for no reason. Nobody is concerned any longer about his vomiting blood. Something is wrong with this dude and you assholes are filming him. Adam wants to go to the house because of reasons that I'm sure are 100 percent legit. Maybe he's just tired of being in this shit ass movie with these shit ass friends. Zak says this is the scariest thing he's ever seen in his life. 

B: This movie is the scariest thing I've ever seen in my life.

M: I honestly love the Adam bit. It's so fake. This dude is just being a dick on camera and Zak is like IT'S OBVIOUSLY DEMONS. Dr. Taff has a loud noise in his ear later on that wakes him up.

B: He's literally explaining exploding head syndrome. I have this, I know what it is. Characterized by loud noise you suddenly imagine just before you fall asleep, and can also occur as you wake up in the night. Google it. Also not caused by demons!

M: He wakes up with blood in his ears. Go to the hospital! 

B: Or he had a stroke, or an aneurysm. 

M: Meanwhile...Adam is getting interviewed instead of going to the hospital for barfing up blood. Adam doesn't wanna be on tape but they tape him secretly because they're fucking assholes. Adam says you know what I said bruh and Zak is like omfg the goatman. 

Pictured: It’s hard to find good images because this movie is also badly badly filmed and it’s just shitty creepy shots and then Zak talking.

B: It wants you, Zak, you're the leader of the bunch. 

M: Adam has a fucking aura of freezing air and EMF around him but we don't get to see any of the instruments they're using to record that.

B: These are obviously some very trustworthy guys. 

M: They are filming him without his consent.

B: Seems to be a recurring theme. 

M: Dr. Taff finally gets to a fucking hospital where his organs are shutting down. Like every single one of them. He mentions infection in his prostate.

B: I don't think his organ failure is best explained by demons. He has a severe medical problem. 

M: All these people he's saying got sick and NOBODY fucking went to a hospital? 

B: No..my dude...you are sick. You have a medical problem, not demons. M: Oh and now Adam has been removed from the crew because he's being weird and violent. They try to get him help but Adam refuses. I think Adam just got sick of their shit. 

B: They had to make something up. 

M: You have anything you wanna say here before Zak boards himself up in the house...alone...overnight?

B: Have fun, big guy.

M: Zakkkk " I know this sound stupid..."

B: It IS stupid. You set yourself up for that one. We're gonna have a sleepover with the demons! Pictured...the tiny penis in it's natual habitat.

M: This part is so fucking dumb. It's just....deeply deeply dumb.

B: They also moved in furniture so Zak can be comfy with the demon. And then... nothing happened. Lots of shots of absolutely nothing happening. I feel like I'm watching Paranormal Activity

M: Except stuff happened in that. Now in fast forward. Zak takes off his coat. 

                Pictured: the horror of seeing Zak Bagans undress

OOH SPOOKY. Nothing is happening. At all. He sits down and checks his phone so we can learn he doesn't wanna do lights out. Why? Nothing is happening.  He just keeps opening doors. What is Sebastian? I'm arranging matches. He makes sures the door is locked. 

B: Make sure the audience knows he's boarded up in there. You so brave. So big dick macho brave. You did this, Zak. Zak is scared of the dark. It's okay. It's natural.

M: I don't know why he's bitching. He orchestrated this. OOH LIGHTS OUT. NIGHT VISION ON. NOTHING IS HAPPENING. 

B: This part also feels like the intro to some weird night vision demon porno, he's just walking around with a camera.

M: That would at least be interesting. Nothing is happening at all. We just keep getting time cuts to more nothing happening. Finally they will decide this is too much nothing happening and make up some shit.

B: It's almost like shit's really boring when Zak doesn't have people around to help him make up shit. Hey did you guys hear a sound? No. 

                                                Pictured: Lies

M: 4:51 am. When will this end? How much more nothing happening does the audicence need. And not to put too fine a point on it...but this house is the DEMON HOUSE. Supposedly haunted by over 200 demons and a goat-man and also an 8 out of 10 on the demon scale, and NOTHING IS HAPPENING. 

M: Zak is getting a headache. Probably because of carbon monoxide. There's an obviously faked goat-ish noise. Zak tells it to get away because that's gonna work. Shoo, demon. 

          Pictured: A man gets mouthy while backed against a wall in fear

B: He sounds very sincere. Back the fuck up, man. Why do these dudes always try to get all up in the demon's face? Fuck you, demon. Maybe the demon just thinks you're rude. He was just trying to say hi.

M: A title card pops up to say that Zak Bagans witnessed a dark mass come out of the wall. There's cameras literally fucking everywhere but we don't get to see that.

B: Water water everywhere but not a drop to drink.

M: Now his eyes hurt. Which makes him yell and knock shit over

. B: Can you imagine how we feel in quarantine? He develops diplopia. Double vision. 

M: It's not that serious, Zak. Doctors can't figure out what caused it. This does not mean it was caused by fucking demons. We get updates on Kevin who apparently caught a demon from Zak. Adam went goth. 

B: Adam got tattoos and we looked him up and he makes horror movies and shit now. He just looks like a metalhead. I wanna say something here again about Dr. Taff and his diplopia. He's acting like doctors not knowing the cause of something is rare. It is not. Anyone with chronic health issues can tell you that. Tests and doctors are not infallible and it's often hard to diagnose things even if they're severe. 

M: Speaking as someone with chronic health issues, this is the case more often than not. The house has not taken a toll on you people you fucking walnut. 

B: We get a long list of correlation is not causation. 

M: So Zak decides to bulldoze the house, thus freeing the demons loose in the world to do their dark dark bidding. 

B: Or something. My theory is that he bulldozed the house so nobody could go back there and his investigation would be the FINAL word on the matter, like so he could be the ultimate authority on this case and nobody could come back and try to contest him...or try to profit off of these events after him.

M: Closing thoughts?

B: Zak Briggins seems like a complete douche. When you start the movie he's just some guy who hunts ghosts and thinks he knows things. But as it goes on, you see he's also very exploitative and manipulative and not a good guy! He takes advantage of people's deaths and mental issues and health problems to further his demon agenda. In conclusion, fuck you Zak Bagans. 

M: Zak claims that even tho the house is gone, the cops keep calling to tell him to tell him people are doing satanic rituals at the site on the regular. Why would the cops even call him for that? There's no house there. I call bullshit. On ALL of this. This story IS cursed, man. Don't expose yourself or your loved ones to the horrors of Demon House. 

B: I call bullshit on there being producers on this movie.

M: That's fair. I miss Ghost Hunters.

[lukaafrancesca]

Writing Tips: A Master Post

These are writing tips, rules, and habits that I picked up over the years. This is just what works for me, not necessarily what will work for everyone. As with ALL writing advice, if anything I say here deters or discourages you from your writing, DO NOT LISTEN TO THE ADVICE AND WRITE HOW YOU WANT TO WRITE. Advice is supposed to help you get better where you feel you’re lacking, not prohibit you from doing something you like. Remember that even if your goal is to write for a wider audience, if you hate writing, you’ll never finish, therefore anything that makes you hate writing needs to be eliminated from your life, or at the very least, eliminated from your drafting phase of writing. Write for yourself and your happiness first and foremost, especially in the first draft. That’s you. That’s personal. That’s joy. If you’re already having fun, don’t listen to a word I say or read any further until you’re seriously considering refining your story into something you want to sell. Disclaimer: While I have won prize money for poetry, I am by no means an expert author, nor am I officially published yet with any sort of prestige. If authority matters to you, there are plenty of published authors that also have guides on how to get your work published. While good advice can come from anyone, it is important to disclose that I am not an expert and I do not have a fool-proof plan for how to write well or how to be published. This is just a collection of what I’ve learned over the years and things I think would be important to my younger self. So without further ado, writing advice. Outlining: While I don’t outline the way you might have learned in English/Literature class in school, I do have a similar process. For my writing, I create an appendix/guide/glossary type of thing. It’s a collection of key words, characters, places, items, and events written specifically for the story or the world my story is set in. I know they call it a "Bible" when it comes to TV shows, but I'm not sure the term applies to writing books. But you can call it your project bible. I call it my project appendix, but I know the term isn’t quite right, so for the remainder I will refer to it as “the project bible.” This is where you write down everything important that you want to be in your book, even details that you don’t want to reveal expressly to the readers. Someone has a mother that they don’t know is their mother? Write it in your project bible. Have a Magic McGuffin that does something super special that your reader is only supposed to find out about in the eleventh hour? Put it in the project bible. Have a really nifty idea for a scene? Put it in the bible. I do this so that I don't forget details and accidentally write down contradictory information. You can do this with or instead of a general outline or as part of your brainstorming phase when plotting ideas for your book. Remember to revisit the project bible often to add in characters you created spur of the moment or to add in any cool ideas you think up while writing. While you shouldn’t add to the project bible during your dedicated writing time so you don’t disrupt your flow, if it’s a detail that’s not relevant to your current chapter, you should definitely write it down if you’re habitually forgetful like I am. But what I prefer to do is to write a note at the end of the current chapter and add it to the project bible when the chapter is finished.  Beginning Writing (and the First Stumbling Block): Once my project bible is more or less complete, I start writing from the beginning. Then I get stuck and have writers block and cry. Then I play video games to cope with my performance anxiety. Then I wait 3 months for inspiration. This is the stage you want to avoid. Don't be like me. Instead, set a schedule. Have one or two hours a day set aside to write. I find I do best when I write first thing in the morning. This time is JUST for writing. Do not do research during this time, do not check social media, do not add to the project bible at this time unless absolutely necessary. You sit down and write and you do not stop for anything except the bathroom or an emergency. You do not backtrack. You do not rewrite. You do not read back what you wrote. You just write. If you get to a detail you're not sure of or a word you can't spell just get as close as you can to the general idea, write in a symbol or an uncommon letter pattern (TK is the standard) so that if you're on a computer you can Ctrl+F back to that spot during the editing phase. Write during that hour or two non-stop until you finish the chapter. You can keep going from there if you have lots of time dedicated to writing, but once I finish a chapter, I go into the Alpha Edit. If you have lots of time dedicated to writing and you’re in the flow, DO NOT STOP. Stopping is what gives you time to be self-critical, and that’s a major stumbling block for me. If you have the flow, DO NOT STOP. If your dedicated writing period is longer than 4 hours (and it may be because 2020 is a hell year and some of us don’t have jobs right now) remember to get up, stretch, drink water, and consume calories. But if you can avoid breaking your flow without detriment, DO IT. Flow is one of the most important things to writing, and a good flow can have you cranking out 50 pages in a single day if you’re lucky. Good flow can see you finish a short story in 3 days. My good flow days are the most valuable to me. When they come to you, do your best not to waste them.

Alpha Editing Phase: Once the chapter is done, reread it. Out loud is best so you can check the flow. If you stumble across a word, rewrite the sentence so it flows better. If you have any TK notes or words you want to change, this is the time to do research and change the notes. You do not have to do this during your scheduled writing time, but doing it during that time helps keep routine and trains your brain to want to write during that time. Just remember that if you do your editing during your writing time, you should try to work on writing your next chapter during at least half of your dedicated writing time. If you find something inconsistent with your outline or lore, change it. The editing phase is the ideal time to consult your project bible, add notes to it, and check for inconsistencies. If you have to "delete" something, DO NOT DELETE IT. Copy and paste it into a deleted scenes file with context (surrounding sentences) in case you want to use the idea or sentence somewhere else or want to change back to it during the final edit. If you're changing the sentence, that's fine. Most sentence changes only need to change the specific words but not what’s actually being said. But if you delete a sentence or paragraph or scene or passage, save it with context. You can keep it just for you, or you can refer to it during a later edit in case you change your mind again. Once you have all your spelling correct and all your TK notes filled with the proper information you have some choices. You either continue on to the next chapter if you're writing a book to publish all at once, or you move on to your beta reader if you're serializing your work. Beta readers come in after your book is done or after the chapter you want to publish is done. Beta Readers: After your alpha edit, get a few people to look over your work. All of them can be friends and family, but beware of "yes men." If your friends and family only ever say your work is good, find a more critical audience. While it’s nice to have praise, if none of your beta readers ever ask you to change anything, you run the risk of missing things that are detrimental to your work like errors with tone, clunky exposition dumps, writing about a sensitive subject without any sensitivity, and many other stumbling blocks. A beta reader can be your friend, but they shouldn’t ALWAYS put your feelings over the quality of your manuscript. A quality beta reader will sometimes butt heads with you, and it’s important you listen when they do. While a beta reader does not replace an editor, editors cost money, and a good beta reader will save you some time with your editor if you choose to hire one for your work when it’s completed. A beta reader’s primary usefulness is that their fresh eyes will catch spelling and grammar errors you and your software might miss and they'll be able to check for issues with tone, consistent lore, tedious exposition, run on sentences, and a myriad of other details that you might not be able to catch.  After the beta readers, you do a Beta Edit. You take all that advice you got from your betas, decide whether to follow it or not, and then change whatever you need to about the story. After that, sit on your “finished” chapter for a week. Do not look at it, do not reread it unless you need to check a plot detail for a future chapter (which should probably be in your outline/ project bible anyway but not everyone uses an outline.) Basically do not look at or think about your "finished" chapter for a week. This is so you yourself have fresh eyes when you revisit it. The "Final" Edit: I say final in quotes because serialized work may need to be retconned or edited in the future so the edit might not always be final unless it's for a completed book. During the final edit, you read it one last time, aloud. Ideally, your book will be done for this stage, but if you publish through a site like Inkitt or Tablo, the urge to serialize a work to get feedback is very strong in the digital age and I don’t blame you at all for wanting to publish a finished chapter to get feedback before your actual book is finished. (Please be wary of the terms and conditions of the site you choose to publish to if you publish a serialized work through a publishing site. If a site mentions having exclusive rights to your content, it’s not a good idea to publish through them if you plan to publish the final work through a different venue or seek traditional publishing and are using the site for archival and viewership purposes.) If you didn't have an outline before, write one as you read back your work. If you have one, make sure, as you read, that it's consistent with the outline. When you're done read the outline and make sure everything you wanted in the book/chapter is in the book/chapter, make sure the lore is consistent, make sure you like it. Make any final corrections. Check your deleted scenes and make sure there's nothing that you want to keep in there. You may choose to keep your deleted scenes file, as I do, but you may also wish to delete it once the book is finished. While either of these choices are entirely yours, remember that every deleted scene is still something you put work into, and there’s no shame in recycling some of the prose into a later story with different characters. Publishing: Decide whether to pursue traditional or digital self-publishing. On scams and more check here.  Digital Self-Publishing: Amazon is a tempting option, especially because many readers will search for books exclusively on Amazon because they are one of the cheapest options around and even if you publish traditionally, your publishing house will usually still sell through Amazon. While I personally don’t like Amazon on principle for it’s poor treatment of warehouse workers, it is worth considering that Amazon’s competitors are not well known and you have very little chance at success when Amazon is the leading name in online book and eBook retail. If you decide to go with another online publishing company, make sure they don’t have exclusive rights to your work so you can bail if a better offer comes along or if they start going under. Signing a contract or publishing exclusively limits you so if you do decide to go that route make absolutely sure you trust the company you’ll be making your business partner by publishing through them. If you decide to publish through Amazon as an E-Book, I recommend doing it yourself. Don't pay for a service that does it for you (I mentioned Inkitt and Tablo and while I do use their services for sharing my work with friends and the public, I would not elect to publish through them since the only benefit to me is that they can do the hard work for me and I’d much rather do it myself.) You can buy your own ISBN numbers and commission cover art from artists so really there's nothing you can't do yourself when it comes to self-publishing, you just need to know-how. Make sure you have the right to use the image you have on your cover, either by designing it yourself, commissioning it from an artist or photographer, or by using a royalty-free image. Remember that some fonts also require royalties if you use them commercially! Double check that you have the rights to use the typeface you have on your cover and in your book. Keep in mind that if you want to have a physical copy of your book that you need to check that the digital publishing service you choose has a print-to-order option. Amazon does, but not every site will. The Cons of Digital Self-Publishing: If you self-publish, don't expect to sell more than 1000 copies without doing some SERIOUS advertising on your own. Digital self-publishing has the perks of letting you keep more of your profits and rights, but it also has it’s downsides, namely that if you want to maximize profits AND sell more than 1000 copies, you need to do all the legwork yourself. A bookstore won’t just buy your book to put on shelves just because it exists, especially not stores like Barnes and Noble. Find the small, local bookshops in your area, get a couple books printed off and ask if they’d like to host an event for your book release. Tell everyone you meet that you wrote a book and show off your personal copy. Find online book groups and advertise there (Remember to advertise often, but not more than, say, 3 times a day for a week. There’s a point where getting the word out becomes blatant spam and spam will reduce and not increase interest.) If your local library takes donations, get a copy printed and donate it. Offer free or discounted copies to YouTubers that do book reviews in exchange for reviews and feedback. Have a Patreon or website where people can find you. If you’re willing to shell out cash and take risks, pay for ads/promoted posts on Facebook and other social media outlets. Go out to events in your hometown or nearby cities and promote the hell out of your book. Rub elbows. Keep a couple signed copies in your trunk and go ham. If you see someone reading a book, start up a conversation, ask them about their book. If it’s anything like yours, tell them that you’ve been reading a good book recently and name drop your own book if you think they won’t remember you or talk about a similar book that inspired you and let them know you wrote a book of your own. You’ll have to bust your tail for it, but if you do it right, you can get your book out there.  Traditional Publishing: If you publish traditionally, be aware that you will get many, many rejection letters. Before seeking traditional publishing, research the publishing house and the industry standards. Many times, they won’t even look at your manuscript if your book is “too long” or “too short.” That doesn’t necessarily mean you should change your book to fit industry standards, but it does mean publishing will be much harder if you don’t fit the standards because very few publishing houses will look at your work unless you know someone who can put in a good word for you. Even if you meet industry standards, expect rejection letters because you’re a first-timer and “a nobody” and most publishing houses get thousands of manuscripts every day and they’re going to pick manuscripts that seem like they’ll make money, or manuscripts from authors they already know, not necessarily manuscripts that are actually “good” writing. A rejection letter is not a reflection of your skills. It’s a badge of honor. You wrote a book and someone looked at it long enough to decide it wasn’t for them. Increase your odds of getting published by focusing a lot of energy into your first chapter, first paragraph, first sentence. If you have a good opening sentence, the person reviewing your manuscript will read more. If you have a good paragraph backing up that first sentence, they’ll go in even deeper. If your first chapter slaps and intrigues, then they’re on the hook wanting more. A publishing house is much more likely to accept your submission if the person who reviewed your work sinks some time into reviewing it. If you get them hooked with the first chapter even if chapters 2 and 3 suck, that reviewer is much more likely to look for the GOLD you put into chapter 4 or 5 when you really hit your stride. If your book doesn’t catch them with chapter 1, even if chapter 5 is absolutely on par with the classics of Shakespeare and the modern greats George R.R. Martin, they’re never going to read that far if chapter 1 sucks. If you get an acceptance letter, huzzah! Work with your publishing house on the final details. Usually a publishing house will do cover art and pay for the advertising necessary to market your book, but not all of them, which is why doing your research is important so you know what to expect. More Detailed Advice: If you have writer’s block try to write anyway. Remember that your first draft will be trash and you can delete anything you don’t like later, but you can’t edit or improve on work that you don’t have finished. Getting it written is way more important than getting it written well. Because, as I said, you can’t work to improve something you don’t have. Getting it on paper is the biggest hurdle. After that, editing is just a matter of reading and rereading, tweaking words and sentences, comparing what you wrote to your outline, and asking for advice from beta readers. Putting it all on paper might take you far less time than editing, but it is, to me far harder. You can pay people to edit your work. There are professional editors out there. But no one can get it on paper like you can, even if you can pay for a ghost writer, because your vision is entirely your own and only you know what you want out of your story idea. Things to Try When the Writing Doesn’t Come: Coffee, water, snack, nap, walk outdoors, bounce ideas off a friend, write a 100 word short story off a prompt and then try again. Any or or all of these shouldn’t take up more than half your scheduled writing time. Sometimes the reason you can’t write is because you’re trying to hard, and these small breaks can make a world of difference, not to mention coffee helps some concentrate, hunger and thirst are distractions even if you don’t feel hungry or thirsty, and time spent just walking and clearing your head in nature can refresh your mind and give you a level head since working through frustration rarely leads to good results. A 100 word short story gets your brain writing something with the focus away from your book, something your brain may see as a monolithic and intimidating task, and distracts it with something short and fun. Once you prove to your brain that yes, you can write right now and once you’ve already started something, it’s easier to make your brain keep working on the next thing. Bouncing ideas off friends can help you figure out why you’re stuck or help you remember that great idea you had for your chapter last night but forgot after you slept. A nap can clear your head and let you relax and you have time alone to think instead of write. If all else fails, try to write just one sentence, take a 15 minute break, and then come back to continue writing. Tried That, Can’t Write: If, for whatever reason, you CAN’T write no matter what you try, no matter how much you force it, take a break. Try again the next day. If the next day doesn’t work, give it a week. After a week if you STILL can’t write, reread what you have written backwards. If you stumble somewhere, edit that section. If ALL of it is either “good enough, but I still can’t continue somehow” or you just hate all of it, ask yourself a few questions. “Is the scene I’m writing important? What does the character accomplish in this scene and does it HAVE to be this scene? What does this scene reveal about the plot, the characters, their motivations, or the story at large. What will this scene mean for the characters in a future scene? What does the character learn here or what do the readers learn in this scene? Is this scene a payoff for something set up in a previous scene or does it bring closure to a subplot or character arc?  If you find positive answers, reformat your chapter around those answers. “Yes this scene is important because it’s where the MC learns to believe in themself.” Great, go back and make sure everything in the scene reflects that and keep moving forward from that perspective while keeping the next goal “The MC’s first success with Plot Thing A.” in mind. Keep this scene focused on the MC believing in themself while working toward their first success. If the scene isn’t important or nothing’s really happening, skip or delete the scene/chapter and move on to the next interesting scene where you find positive answers to those questions. Remember that even if you don’t plan on keeping the scene when you decide to delete it to add it to the deleted scenes file just in case, you may be forgetting a critical plot point or a good idea in the deleted section that you might need later and you’ll be grateful you saved the segment later on. This and more to try here. When You Just Hate Everything You Wrote No Matter What: Read something that inspired you before. Or watch a TV show or movie that made you want to write. Send your work to your beta reader early for feedback. Or, deal with the source of your anxiety. Are you hating it because you feel like it’s not impressive to others? It’s similar to impostor syndrome. You like the writing, but you hate reading it because you think other people will hate it. Send it to a beta reader and find out for sure. If they hate it, that’s fine. You can fix it. If they love it, GREAT. Now you know that at least one person out there likes it. More people will like it. Don’t let the critics in your head tell you otherwise. Do you hate it because you think you can do better? Then do better. Put the scene in the deleted scenes file. All of it. Every part that you hate and the context around it. Dump it. Start over fresh. If you hate that too, compare and see if you hate it less than the old version. Go with the version you hate least, or combine all the parts you hate least and move on until you figure out an even better way to write it. Are you hating it because you never wrote a scene like that before and it’s just really hard? Read stories or watch movies that do the thing you’re doing in a way that you like. Find out why you like it. Try to replicate that in your scene.  This and more about writing anxiety here. “Said is Dead” and Other “Bad” Writing Advice: “Never say said! Use other verbs to convey HOW the character is saying something! Yelled! Sobbed! Laughed! Growled! Whispered!” Most of us got this in grade school. And sometimes they’re right. There’s a difference in tone when you use “‘Hurry up,’ he said.” versus “‘Hurry up,’ she growled.” But if your characters are just having a dialogue, unless there’s a tone you need to set, you CAN use “said” and other plain words. I prefer not to, because I either use taglines like “‘That’s better.’ He smirked, walking across the room.” or I don’t use taglines at all “Really?” “Yeah really.” “Well dang, I didn’t know people could just do that!” “When it’s two people, you sure can!”  In the same vein: “The road to hell is paved with adverbs.” While it’s true that it’s more powerful to say “His sentences blended together” or “the words came out nearly overlapped, narry a breath between them.” if you write that way all the time, it’s going to sound weird and won’t always convey the same mood as what you want. Sometimes it’s okay to say “he said quickly.” or “His sentence ended abruptly.” Yes, dashed or sprinted are usually better words than “ran quickly” and are faster to say than “He was down the hall faster than greased lightning.” But remember that adverbs are not the devil. Adjectives are okay. Starting a sentence with “but” is fine for impact. Dialogue has no rules other than “does it sound like something someone would say?” Ending a sentence with a preposition is fine, especially in dialogue. You can use ellipsis points (...) to indicate a pause in dialogue. If you don’t like the writing advice someone gave you, you don’t have to take it. The only real rules I try to stick by are “try to spell everything properly and use proper grammar unless it’s for dialogue” and “make sure it’s easy to read.” Like, I hate when people write “should of” when they mean “should’ve” or “should have” I hate that stuff with a passion. But unless I’m the one person you’re trying to impress, you literally DO NOT HAVE TO CARE. You can write “should of.” It’s your book. I am not the authority on all books. I am not the library god. What I like is not nearly as important as what YOU like. But do take that under advisement that grammatically correct books and properly-spelled manuscripts are way more likely to get published because the world of English literature is elitist as all heck because the rules were written back when hardly anyone was literate and people hang on to traditions like that whether they’re helpful or not. As long as people can understand what you wrote, that’s all that matters in regards to “rules.” So if a rule makes you unhappy? Forget the rule and write what you want. Writer Cartels: A writing cartel is especially important for new authors and self-published authors. A writing cartel is essentially a big group or club of fellow writers. This is your main resource for writing advice, research, a good source of beta readers, free advertisement, and inspiration. Your cartel is going to be there to support you while you write your book and after you get published. You can look for writers groups on social media platforms or by visiting libraries/looking for writing conventions in your town. The comments section of YouTube book reviews has a fair number of people. Make friends. Start your own writer cartel. Join a writer’s workshop program or a writers workshop discord since everything’s closed in 20/20 for the ‘Rona. If there’s a creative writing course at your local community college and you can afford it, take the course, make contacts, make friends with the people you meet there, stay in touch, and form a cartel with them.

“Kill your Darlings”, Crutch Tropes, Crutch Words, and Other Quirks: Kill your darlings is a piece of writing advice you tend to hear a lot. It basically means “Sometimes you have to cut out a cool scene or a neat detail or a beloved character because it doesn’t add anything to your book, weighs down the chapter, ruins the flow, or just generally doesn’t belong and takes up valuable word’s that could be used to advance the plot instead.” Tom Bombadil from Lord of the Rings is a famous example. “Darlings” and crutch tropes are similar but a crutch trope isn’t always a darling and a darling isn’t always a crutch trope. A “darling” is basically anything you like as the author that you want to keep that either all your betas HATE or that holds your writing back in some way. For instance, I like to show off when writing. I wrote a whole scene about different pieces of a ship’s rigging because I knew a lot of the terms and learned a bunch more to get familiar with ships for a scene that has ships in it. But it’s not important to my character to know what a clew garnet is. It’s not important to my readers to know what the clew garnet is. The clew garnet doesn’t serve any deeper purpose in my story other than showing off that I know what that piece of rigging is called. So I removed that scene from my book. I trimmed out all the rigging terms and explanations that weren’t relevant to what was actually happening in the scene, stuck to simple terms, and shortened that chapter by a good chunk by doing so. There’s nothing important missing from the story and it reads just as well without the rigging explanations. That is “killing your darling.” A crutch trope can be a darling, too, but only if you use it excessively. I know I have crutch tropes. I really love chewing the scenery in my stories and I really, REALLY love excessively describing food. Literally chew-able scenery. My book would be a lot shorter without those scenes since they serve no larger purpose other than giving the characters just a hair’s breadth more depth by saying “Yeah, Character A likes X food. And Character B likes Y food. Now you know.” This is a “darling” and a crutch trope. Whether I choose to kill this darling is up to me. But if it’s just a thing you do often, such as writing dream sequences in all your works, then it’s just a crutch trope and not a darling. But you may still want to kill it. Crutch Words: I often use the word “rather” when I actually mean “very.” “He was rather famished.” “She was rather tired.” While this does keep you a step removed from obvious adverb addiction, it becomes rather innocuous and you tend to not notice it or give it rather much thought until it’s become rather ubiquitous and taken up rather a lot of your rather limited word count. (And as you can see, that can get... annoying.) When the word swarms your prose to the point it’s almost more common than your articles “a/the” it’s a crutch word. I already gave you an example with rather, but it happens with more than adverbs and adjectives. Verbs can be crutch words too. If all your characters sob and none of them ever weep, sob is your sadness crutch word. If all of your characters smile and none of them grin, smiled is your happiness crutch word. When is a crutch word not a crutch? When you NEED it for the sentence to make sense. If it’s important to know “He smiled and she smiled back,” there’s no reason to change it to something excessive and potentially inaccurate with “He grinned at her and she simpered in return.” If someone says “I would rather do this than do that,” the “rather” is no longer a crutch. My general rules are: other than articles and common words like “a, the, it, that, what, etc.” you shouldn't have a word used more than once in the same paragraph and definitely not in the same sentence i.e. “Her eyes glazed over as she eyed the enchanted item.” Eye is used in both eyes and eyed and it sounds clunky. A better version of the sentence would be “Here eyes glazed over as she gazed at the enchanted item” or “Her eyes glazed over as she observed the enchanted item.” If you have a crutch trope, and it’s broad i.e. chewing the scenery, try not to do it more than once per chapter. And if it’s a highly specific trope like a dream sequence, use it no more than once per book. But again, these are just rules that I personally follow. I am not God. Write what you enjoy and only take my advice if you agree with it. More on Darlings and how to kill them here. Fringe Crutch Words and How to Cope: There are only so many ways to say “smiled” in the English language, and there are many different smiles that mean many different things. A friendly smile and a sheepish grin are different things, but we don’t always have words to describe different smiles. You can describe a wide smile as beaming and a coy smile as a simper, we have words for sneers and grimaces, but a pained smile has no single word of its own. A sympathetic smile does not have a unique word. Sometimes a sad smile is just a sad smile and if there’s no other way to say it, just use the “crutch” word. Even if you think your characters “smile too much.” Don’t antagonize trying to find a perfect word or you risk falling into “Thesaurus Syndrome” by trying to avoid a word that you simply can’t avoid. Thesaurus Syndrome: Know what your words actually mean, including their connotation. Connotation is the idea or feeling a word evokes, rather than it’s pure definition. For example: stench, scent, and aroma all mean “smell” but a stench or odor is almost always a bad smell; I can’t recall ever seeing a good smell labeled as, say, a “sweet stench.” Similarly, one would never call the scent of skunk spray a “perfume” or “aroma.” “Scent” is very context-sensitive and thus neutral in connotation. So when you use a thesaurus to vary your words, make sure the connotations are the same and that you know how much bigger “gargantuan” sounds compared to just “large.” Flowery words: “Cerulean orbs” is a meme for a reason. Fancy words are all well and good, but jargon runs the risk of alienating your audience. Going back to my clew garnet example, basically no layperson that’s not obsessed with sailing knows what a clew garnet is or what it’s for. If the word isn’t necessary to your story, don’t use it. And if it is, but it’s an uncommon word, make sure to give context or define it in some way. You don’t want to alienate your audience. When it comes to poetic language, i.e. cerulean orbs, it’s important to keep a few things in mind. When you use poetic language, it makes the thing you’re describing automatically more important than anything you describe in a mundane way. If you describe your main character as “a dude with a shaggy beard.” and then describe a trash can as “a silvery vessel for all the unwanted scraps, a prison for the castaways, the lonely, cold, metal receptacle for evidence of a human life, lived to it’s messy, pure, fullness,” that trash can sounds WAY more important than your main character and you also sound like a weirdo for describing a trash can like that. If you want to describe something exceptional, use poetic language, if you want to describe the mundane, use mundane language. A red scarf is nothing more than a scarf that is red. But a crimson scarf sounds significant. However, even when you describe something significant with poetic language, there is a point where too much is too much. Hence “cerulean orbs” instead of “blue eyes.” Cerulean orbs sits right in the middle of foreign/unnatural speech, overly poetic, and overly mundane. No one regularly calls blue eyes “cerulean orbs,” so it immediately sounds alien and unnatural. But it’s also not poetic enough to come from, say, a lover describing her partner’s beautiful blue eyes. “His eyes were deep and dark, the blue like the blue of a midnight sea, shimmering as the candlelight flickered across his irises,” is a much more fitting piece of prose if you want to give off a sense of beauty and the sublime. But if it’s just someone that has blue eyes? You want to go full mundane. “He had blue eyes” is all we need to know. Don’t over-complicate it. That’s not to say you should never write the sublime as mundane or the mundane as sublime, but that’s generally reserved for actual poetry and not part of prose, so unless your book’s main theme revolves around the beauty of common/ugly things or how utterly unremarkable even the most romanticized things are, you want to stick to the general rule that poetic language is reserved for things that are special to your narrative and that mundane language is usually fine everywhere else. Remember, you’re not trying to show off for your audience and you’re not trying to talk down to them. Some Things Specific to Fantasy Writing: The next few sections are dedicated to struggles I personally experienced when writing fantasy and how I overcame them. “How Can She Have a French Braid if There is No France?” and Other Linguistic Troubles: Generally speaking, if you’re writing a fantasy novel, it will not be set on our Modern Earth, and even if it is, there are sometimes troubles. Say your world is fairly unique, something like Tolkien’s Middle Earth. Your elves wear their hair in braids as a tradition. The braid style for upper-class elves is a French braid, unlike the Fishtail Braid which is relegated to the commoners. But wait. Nowhere in your world is called “France” so how can it be a “French Braid?” My rule on this is as follows: Things like French Doors and French braids are very specific and aren’t easily described smoothly in prose as “A set of floor to ceiling/ tall double doors that are made with glass.” or “a braid of three strands, in a gathered plait, from the crown of one’s head to the nape of one’s neck.” If you have to describe it like that EVERY time, it will get tiresome, and if you invent a new word for it, your readers will have to be constantly reminded what it means. With terms like these, it’s okay to use the eponymous word or the namesake word. If your character wears a Tam O’Shanter hat, it’s okay to call it that. If the item in question is, say, a branded thing, you can get a little more flexible. Say your character has a magical item that works just like a liquid Band-aid. But you can’t call it that because Band-aid is a brand and they don’t have adhesive bandages in the story for you to compare it to. In cases like this, it’s best to name the item yourself and define it for the audience. “’Hold still,’ Theresa demanded, pouring the syrupy potion over the wound. Within a few minutes, the liquid solidified, protecting the large scrape from the outside world and dulling the pain. ‘Wow,’ Sir Hugh said, running his hand over the area. ‘What was that?’ ‘Elvish suture,’ Theresa explained. ‘Made of pine sap, some medicinal herbs, and a little alchemy. Don’t strain too hard and it should hold until we can get you to a proper doctor.’” Here, you’ve established what the thing is, what it does, and gave off the general vibe of a liquid bandage without actually using the words. This technique is best used for things that are modified from things that exist in our world. Another option when you’re borrowing from our world is to use a generic term or modify a generic term to your advantage. Going back to the Band-Aid example, let’s say your world DOES have Band-Aids, but since it’s not Earth, you want to call it something else. You can give it a completely foreign name and appearance such as “Verdant’s Dressings” and describe it as “a green, leaf-shaped fabric bandage that uses an adhesive to bind gauze to an open wound,” or you can use a generic term and just call it an “adhesive bandage” depending on how different you want it to be from something in our world the more unique your name for it is, the more it seems to belong to your world and not ours, but this can have the disadvantage of confusing or alienating your audience. When something is entirely your own invention, huzzah! Name it yourself and have fun with it! A great way to make it familiar and memorable to your readers is to name it based on mythology or with Greek/Germanic/Latin base words. If there’s a sleeping potion in your world, you can name it Morph’s Tears to associate it with Greek God Morpheus or you can call it Somnetic Vapors to associate it with somnum, Latin for sleep. If you’re drawing from the mythology of other cultures, try using words from that culture’s language for your naming conventions. Beware of what you decide to borrow from and how you decide to use terms as some mythical creatures are sacred to some cultures, some gods and monsters are sacred to some closed religions, and some foreign words have had different historical meanings than their modern ones. See also: When is it Okay to Borrow This?

How Modern is too Modern for the Medieval? General Rules and How to Break Them: When you write a fantasy work, chances are it’s a high-fantasy novel. High Fantasy often sticks with a world that is medieval or at least pre-modern. While these rules can be applied to other time periods or genres like steampunk, I’m most familiar with high fantasy and medieval time periods so I will use that for most of this advice. Generally a lot of what we think of as “normal” has only been around for 200-500 years and everything earlier than that is considered ancient by our standards. However, some things might surprise you. This is why research is always important. Things like tea, bathrooms, fireworks, and aqueducts are much older than you may think at first and some things a full set of silverware or belts and buttons are more recent than you think. When researching, always be sure to search “the history of X” and not just “when was X invented?” Often times “invented” means patented and that will yield much more recent results. Bagged tea was invented in 1908, but tea as a beverage goes way father back in history (around year 200 BC.) Furthermore, loose leaf tea is a modern invention and wasn’t purchased or sold that way until around the late 1800s. Tea was usually sold in a brick and you could buy a tea cake or an entire sheet of them at the market to grate down to a loose leaf brew at home. Sugar, similarly wasn’t the white granulated stuff we have today. Sugar was sold as a damn, cone-shaped loaf. While the layperson may not be troubled by your medieval queens and kings sipping a loose leaf tea, a more “educated” reader might. The more familiar a reader is with the time period you’re basing your work around, the more your anachronisms will stick out. If magic is present in your work, you have more flexibility, but you should generally try to stick to a period of 100-200 years. The bigger your window of time, the more you run into the chance of some things seeming inaccurate. Anachronisms are definitely not something to break your brain over trying to avoid them, but if you want, say, steam-power in your book when everything else stays more true to the medieval period, you do want to try to justify the anachronism within the narrative. As previously stated, magic existing in your world makes this much easier to do. If your world has magic, then faster-than-light communication may be possible with, say, a telepathy spell or a scrying spell. This may eliminate the need for carrier pigeons and may even hasten the equivalent of something similar to a magical computer or a magical internet or telephone service. Keep in mind that this might also hinder technological development, making your world seem to be set further back in time than it actually is. If, say, your world has magic that allows a kind of hammerspace where you can store anything, and it’s widely accessible, then wagons might not exist in your world. Who needs them when you can shove everything you own in a cheap bag and take it with you on your horse? For that matter, if transporting everything is that simple, your world might not even have many towns or hubs because more groups can afford to be nomadic. Maybe agriculture doesn’t even exist, and your main character’s village is a group of nomads that live like cowboys and just follow their herds, eating their meat and supplementing it with whatever vegetables they find on the way, rather than building farms. Research technology you want to exist in your world, narrow down an analogous time frame in our world where that technology exists, keep most of your technology to things that exist to within a 100-200 year window of your desired time period. When you have anachronisms, justify their existence within the narrative by explaining why the invention of that technology was important. Think about how the anachronisms of your world shape it and how the magic in your world, if any, would shape what anachronisms exist. Why Everyone Probably Shouldn’t Speak the Same Language: While it is true that even in the medieval period, there were plenty of people and plenty of nations that spoke English, not every country did. Similarly, while most people in your fantasy world might be able to get away with speaking a common tongue, it’s important to think about a few things. The higher caste your characters are from, the better able they should be to communicate with almost anyone as, historically, they would have had schooling where they learned from tutors how to speak with others for diplomatic purposes. Keep in mind that this is especially true for allies but also true for enemies. You cannot negotiate peace treaties between humans and elves if the elves only speak elvish and the humans only speak their own language, after all and you cannot make war time demands if your enemy doesn’t know what you want. Vice versa, if your main character is a pauper, unless their relatives are from different walks of life, your character might only speak the language of the area they grew up in or some sort of pigeon language between their nation and its nearest neighbor. Dialects within regions also happen. Canadian French is not the same as the French they speak in France, after all. Remember that the language barrier increases if there’s a large body of water or a mountain range dividing two nations. The harder it is for them to trade with each other by geography, the harder it will be for them to communicate. While this can be mitigated somewhat by the use of magic (telepathy where communication isn’t verbal, or by the use of some magical translation spell) or by the existence of a long-lived tribe (language develops fast, but it’s harder to have a tower of Babel effect where language is highly diverse when there’s a 1000 year old dwarf in your village that speaks the old tongue and everyone else around them does too because good luck getting the old goat to learn the new slang) if your world doesn’t have magic or an ancient race where people regularly live to be very old, you can benefit from the use of Conlangs. Conlangs: Short for “Constructed Language,” a conlang is basically a made up language to add a diverse feel to your book. If your characters are interacting with aliens, it would be weird for the aliens to come down and speak perfect English without the use of some translation technology. Similarly, if your world doesn’t have magic, it’s very strange if people can all understand each other if they haven’t all been colonized by the same powerful empire or if they don’t all live near each other. And Island nation that’s hard to get to is probably not going to speak the same language that they do on the mainland thousands of miles away, and if they do, it’s going to be a weird dialect that no one on the mainland understands anymore if the isolated island doesn’t somehow keep in regular contact. This is when conlangs are useful. You don’t have to go full Tolkien and have a complete, speakable elvish language. But the closer you get to that, the more real the world seems. You don’t have to be an expert linguist to do this, but if you are one or know one, creating a conlang is easier. Start by figuring out what language you want to base it on. It’s much easier to construct a language based on one that already exists. Because English is one of the most commonly spoken languages in the world (both as a first and as a second language) English is a good base language, especially if you intend to market your book to an English-speaking audience. If your conlang doesn’t appear often, you can get away with coming up with only a few words as they’re needed. But if your character is best friends with someone who immigrated from another nation, you want your conlang to be borderline translatable if not fully translatable. Lingo Jam is a great resource for creating a conlang as you can add in words and their translations to create a translator to help your readers. Lingo Jam also provides a list of the most common words used in English to help you get started with a rough idea of what words you might need to translate. Keep in mind root words, regular and irregular verbs for conjugations, and word-order. Idioms unique to your conlang also add to authenticity, and the more important something is to a culture, the more likely their language would reflect that. If your character comes from a snowy climate, maybe they have more words for snow than they do for grass. Or maybe they have fewer. Or maybe they have specific words for different thicknesses because knowing the thickness of ice is important to their survival. If there’s a special magical item that comes only from that characters country, chances are that their word for it is unique, or that other cultures and nations borrow the word for that thing from that conlang. Consider also the interplay between gender, climate, religion, and other aspects of culture and how that reflects on your language. If your character’s culture originated in a desert where water is scarce and they’re highly religious, chances are that words for water and divinity will have some link or be seen together often. If your character lives in a matriarchal society, perhaps their word for doctor is “medicine woman” the same way English has gendered terms like “fireman.” Maybe your magical race of tree people doesn’t differentiate between male and their word for “person” isn’t gendered at all. Or maybe they have several gendered words that refer to tree species more than anything about our concept of gender and they apply these “tree genders” to human populations based on height and hair color. As a final note, remember that conlangs aren’t necessary, and if this kind of thing hurts your head, you can just use Esperanto or skip it all together. There are plenty of successful fantasy novels out there that don’t use conlangs. If you want a fun way to add depth to a vast fantasy world, do consider the conlang, but it’s by no means necessary to have one and it’s not world-breaking to not have one. “When is it Okay to Borrow This?” and Other Questions About Taking Inspiration from Different Cultures: I’m basing most of my information off this post, and it sadly seems to display in improper order, but it’s worth the read. Basically if something is specific to a culture or religion (this is why researching is important) it’s probably not okay to borrow from it unless you know what you’re doing. Having a sensitivity reader is good for this, but if you don’t have one or can’t find one, consider reaching out to someone you know who is familiar with the culture to ask if it’s okay. If something is a food, item of clothing, or a technology that has spread across the world, chances are it’s okay to use that. Rice is a common staple food, for example, so if your world or your character has a specific type of riceball or onigiri, it’s usually okay to call it a rice ball, call it onigiri, or describe it as such. I do have some caveats for that later. A kimono, likewise, is considered everyday clothes, if a bit old-fashioned, and kimono are often given as gifts if you stay with a family in Japan. If you base an item of clothing off a kimono in your story, that should be fine. A good rule of thumb is: If you can buy it in a gift shop in the country you’re borrowing it from, or if it’s widely sold across the world by the people who created it, it’s probably okay to use in your story. The Caveat: Keep in mind, when you borrow things, that stereotypes exist, and if you’re using it because of a stereotype, even a positive stereotype, you need to reconsider. Let’s say one of your fantasy races is coded as “Asian” (as non-specific and vague as that is) it’s obviously bad to describe them as having yellow skin, eating “gross” and “weird” foods, having “slit” eyes and a number of other things. But what’s less obvious are positive stereotypes. If this fantasy race of yours that’s coded after some Asian group are broadly characterized as “being smarter than everyone around” that’s ALSO a stereotype. While it’s generally the case that “Asian people are smarter” here in the USA, it’s important to note that a big reason behind that is that most people immigrating from Asian countries like China, Japan, and Korea are wealthy. They can afford to take a risk and move to the USA, so they do. And because they are wealthier, they can afford to pay for better education, tutors, and private lessons for their children. And when they do, the children tend to score better on tests which makes it seem like they’re smarter. Remember that a lot of things are highly correlated with wealth and challenge and scrutinize why you might want to pick a certain trait for a certain character. Pay Special Attention to Anything You Want to Characterize Negatively: If your character doesn’t like sushi, is it just because she doesn’t like fish? Or is it because she doesn’t like raw fish? If you can’t think of a reason why, or if the answer is “she doesn’t like it because it’s different from what she’d normally eat.” think about the reason YOU think that way. Not everyone has to like sushi, but if your character hates it just because she’s never had it before and it’s strange to her, unless your character is MEANT to be inexperienced, this makes her come off as a bit xenophobic. This kind of thing exists in a grey area, so again, this doesn’t mean your character is bad if they don’t like sushi, it’s just something to consider. A more clear-cut case is this. You describe a character as ugly, with a big, long, hooked nose. Why? Chances are you picked this up from an old cartoon, and that old cartoon picked it up from somewhere else. While not intrinsically anti-semitic the “ugly, long, hooked nose” has been a long-standing anti-semitic caricature. That’s not to say an ugly character can never have a long, hooked nose, but you have to be extremely careful with what other traits they have, because that anti-semitic caricature goes hand in hand with many other negative stereotypes and you may not even realize they’re stereotypes you hold. Again, this is why a sensitivity reader is so very important. Because nowadays, representation is important and it matters, and it’s great if you want to write about lots of different people and cultures and borrow from them, but it’s also very easy to be swayed by stereotypes and biases you didn’t even know you had and accidentally come off as racist, sexist, homophobic, or xenophobic in the process. Don’t let the fear of falling victim to your own implicit biases stop you from trying to be diverse, but do let it give you pause. If you’re uncertain of the history of something, PLEASE research it and PLEASE consult as many people from that culture as possible. Remember: some things are sacred. Just because something is old doesn’t mean it’s safe, either. Some people still worship the Greek Gods. Some people still practice paganism.  So When is it Okay to Borrow This Thing?: Again, if it’s something you can buy from the people who’s culture it belongs to, it’s generally okay to assume that it’s a part of their culture they want to share. Clothing, food, and technology are usually safe bets, especially if you intend to talk about them in a positive light. (Beware of “Exoticising” things too much though.) If something is a part of a culture you belong to, then that’s also usually a safe bet of something you can riff off of without being insensitive. But beware. What’s good representation for you, might be bad representation to someone else. Your idea of Christmas, might be blasphemous to someone else, hence why it’s especially important to tread lightly with religions. “Exoticising”: Exoticising can be described as a subtle form of racism in which you worship, eroticize, romanticize, or fantasize a certain element of a culture, race, or religion to which you do not belong. This is often seen when describing a black woman as a “mocha-colored goddess” but can also be seen when describing he food, customs, or language of a particular group. “Weeaboos” are often guilty of exoticising Japanese culture, and food journalists are especially bad about this when they try to describe foreign foods by describing them in ill-fitting “terms that an American would understand.” It’s known as exoticising because it serves one of two purposes. It’s either used to make the foreign or “exotic” more palatable to an audience less receptive to it or by making something foreign even MORE foreign and mysterious, enhancing it’s “exotic” appeal. You may be exoticising a food if you describe it in a way that resembles the foods described in this post. If you describe a person using food terms or describe a religion as cultish or mysterious, you may be exoticising it. Sensitivity Readers: A sensitivity reader is a type of beta reader or editor that specifically looks for elements in your book that may be problematic. While no single sensitivity reader can possibly catch every single thing that might potentially be offensive, if you have concerns about your work, it might be a good idea to run your manuscript by one of these readers first. They will give you suggestions on what to improve or remove. Just like any beta reader, you do NOT have to take the advice they give or implement the changes they suggest, but they can be helpful if you’ve ever been told your work is “problematic.” Again, remember that what’s empowering for one person is denigrating to another, and your book will never satisfy EVERYBODY. Think about what group you’re trying to write for, and implement edits based on what you think would appeal most to that group. Magic systems: Ever important for people writing fantasy is the magic system. “Harry Potter” had the “wand as a focus” and “incantation as power” set-up, “The Elder Scrolls” series has potions, books, skills, and words of power, covering a whole slew of magical rules. When designing a magic system, you need to decide how it works, and that requires answering some questions. “What can magic do, what can it not do, what does it cost, who can learn it, how is it learned and how do you do it?” What Magic Can Do?: Can magic help you light a fire? Move a mountain? Raise the dead? Cool! Write down some of the things magic can do in your project bible or somewhere that you’ll remember to look so you can reference the rules of magic later. Think of what purpose magic has in your story. Is it a tool your protagonist needs to overcome obstacles? Is it an oppressive force that needs to be banned? Consider the role magic plays when deciding what magic can do and why that’s empowering or oppressive. And remember, it’s totally okay if you just want magic to exist in your world because it’s cool! Just remember that the other aspects of magic are that much more important now, so that the magic in your world doesn’t seem out of place. Next... What Can’t Magic Do?: Remember that limitations make the world more realistic and establish boundaries. If your magic can do anything, your characters are all gods, and relative power levels are meaningless. That can be boring and no one will know what to expect. Will a new obstacle cause the main character to struggle? Is their new opponent a threat? Limitations are necessary for your readers to actually see characters grow as they push boundaries and magic is no different. If magic can help you create fire, can it put the fire out? Does it need a source of fire to bend or can the fire be spontaneously generated? If you can move a mountain, does the size of the mountain matter? Does a larger mountain require more mages to move it? (Remember that limitations like this don’t have to be well known in your world. Consider “Avatar: The Last Airbender.” Metal bending was thought to be impossible even for experienced earth benders. And then Toph came along and blew that out of the water and bent metal because Toph is awesome like that. So consider the difference between hard limits [things no one can do] and soft limits [things that are hard to do, require a loophole, or are an obstacle for your special protagonist to obliterate.] One hard limit I see a lot is that magic cannot raise the dead/make you immortal because if you can raise the dead or make yourself immortal, the stakes are drastically lower for your characters unless your universe has a “fate worse than death” clause in it somewhere. If magic can raise the dead, they come back “wrong” or imperfect or it costs so much energy to do it’s not worth trying. If magic can make you immortal there’s usually a cost associated. Even if you elect not to use any hard limits at all, consider what magic costs. What Does Magic Cost?: Is it “free” but you have to know how to do it or else risk consequences and misfires like in “Harry Potter?” Does it require energy like spell slots in “Dungeons and Dragons” or mana like in most RPG video games and when you use up all that energy you have to rest or risk killing yourself with it? Going back to raising the dead and immortality, “Full Metal Alchemist” deals with the cost pretty well. You can’t raise people from the dead because God/the Truth won’t let you, but you can try. And you will fail. And it will cost you part of your body if not your life. And whatever you do create is not what you wanted, not who you wanted. You can make a Philosopher's Stone that makes you immortal and lets you bypass other costs for alchemy. Except it requires you to kill countless people and, if I remember correctly, using alchemy uses up the souls in the Philosopher's Stone instead of materials. So you can be immortal. You just have to be a moral monster. FMA also does cost with “normal” alchemy in an interesting way. It requires “equivalent exchange,” meaning if you want to alchemically make yourself a bunch of little bird-shaped wooden paperweights, you need to have the wood to do it and you have to know the alchemical formula to make an alchemy circle to do it. It’s also stated in at least one version of the anime that the energy to perform alchemy comes from souls in a parallel world so, like, honestly, alchemy is scary as hell and the cost usually involves human life. Cost is also a good way of creating “power levels.” The strongest mage might be the one that practices more, sure. But if magic is innate and everyone can do it, what separates one educated mage from another educated mage? Cost. Whoever is willing to sacrifice more will win. This also stops your character from relying on magic for everything. If magic has a relatively low cost, we should expect things like we see in “Harry Potter.” Things never really developed much beyond the medieval because magic solved most problems so there was no need for more technology. “Why have a TV? We have magic photographs and stuff! Airplanes? Nah, we have portkeys and floo powder and magic.” If magic has a high cost, you would probably see a lot of technical development alongside magic. Why do energy-sapping magic to light a fire to make your tea when you can just invent an electric kettle to boil water for you? Think about how the cost will limit your character and shape their world. Who Can Learn Magic and How?: Is it something everyone has the potential for? If so, is everyone a mage/witch/wizard? If not, what stops people with the innate ability from performing magic? (See again: cost.) If it’s not innate, or only innate to some people, what causes people to be attuned to magic? Is it something only elves can do? If it’s something you’re born into, how did it first appear and how is it heritable? Does it spring up at random in populations with a certain level of genetic heritability  i.e. Mudbloods and squibs a la “Harry Potter?” Is it passed down like an heirloom? Is it tied to access to a font/source of magic? How did the first mage learn to use magic? Experimenting? Watching another magical creature do it? Gifted the knowledge by a supreme being? How do new generations learn it? Apprenticing to a master sorcerer? From books? From parents? By practicing? From a school of magic? Are certain people limited to certain types of magic like the benders in “Avatar: The Last Air Bender?” How is Magic Done?: Do you need to know magic words? Arcane symbols? Do you need a focus or a medium like a wand or crystal? Is magic done primarily through potions, written hexes, or hand gestures? If the cost is a material, is it a special material like the tooth of a dragon or the remains of a dead fairy? If the magic is contained in a material like a scroll or a crystal, how do you cast the spell? Combining different things within and between categories helps you create a believable and controlled magic system that isn’t overpowered and creates a consistent feel for magic that your readers will pick up on. Do it right and you’ll create a world where your readers are more-or-less aware of who’s a stronger magic user than whom and why, while still leaving them room to be surprised if your protagonist is capable of breaking some of the rules of magic. Do it right and your readers will be confident in your characters’ abilities but will still be concerned when your characters go up against an opponent with either obviously more experience/power or an unknown/new power. Romance and Fluffy Stuff: Some general rules for romance writing. 

Feel the Burn: Decide how slow you want it to burn, first and foremost. If your characters are already an established couple, that romance is already lit. You are on fire and your job is to keep feeding it. However, most romance stories start with the characters as strangers or friends and it’s your job to build up the relationship so that the chemistry and synergy are apparent and the romance develops naturally. Now, when I write romance, I write a burn so slow that you get 10 chapters in and the leads haven’t even met each other yet. Unless the slowest of slow burns is absolutely your shtick, you probably don’t want to do that, but your characters also probably shouldn’t be kissing in the first 2 chapters unless they’re already an established couple. Something like Disney’s Animated “Beauty and the Beast '' is about average in terms of how slow the burn is. They’re catching feels ⅓ or ½ into the movie and they’re really bonding and genuinely romancing right before the climax. A slower burn might have you wait until ⅔ of the way for the first inklings of “will they/won’t they?” TV shows are notorious for this and almost never have the main couple pair up until the end of the series, but they usually still have chemistry showing up in season one. “Miraculous Ladybug” is notorious for doing this but that’s partly because the episodes aren’t necessarily chronological, and the big appeal is the romance potential between the leads which is why the writers don’t want to make them a couple until the very last moment or else they risk losing viewers who are only in it for the romantic tension. I personally think that’s cowardly, but it’s a tried and true method for a TV series. ABC’s “Castle” didn’t have the main couple together until Season 5 out of 8 seasons and they only got married in Season 7. Just remember if you seal the deal on the romance too soon, you need an exciting plot to follow it with the romantic partners working together in order for the story to remain interesting after the “will they/won’t they?” tension is resolved or else the book after that will just be boring. But if you wait too long to get to the juicy bits, the reader might get frustrated, the actual romantic parts will feel rushed by comparison, or if you flesh out the aftermath, your book will be 500,000 words long and let’s face it, most people don’t have the patience for that (that’s 5-10 times the industry standard length, by the way.) Decide how slow you want the burn to go and then pace the story accordingly. A faster paced book will want to see the characters getting along pretty early on if not right away, and a slower paced book leaves more room for tension, enemies-to-friends-to-lovers stuff, or lots of fluffy bits.  Believable Romance or “A Recipe for Good Smooches”: The next thing you have to worry about in romance is making it believable. Chemistry, synergy, and affection are your 3 big ingredients. If your characters don’t have all of this, the relationship is going to seem stale or fake. Are your characters attracted to one another? Do they get along? That’s chemistry. If your characters absolutely hate each other but suddenly start kissing, there are only 3 options, it’s either bad writing, or they’re hate-kissing/fake kissing. In a believable romance, you CAN have hate-kissing and/or fake kissing, but if you want the chemistry to feel real, they shouldn’t hate everything about each other and should like more than half (on average) of their partner’s personality quirks, facial features, hobbies etc. If your characters have nothing in common/no chemistry/no shared interests it will be REALLY hard to make your readers buy that their affection for each other is sincere. Next is Synergy. How well do the characters work together? If they fight side-by-side are they in sync? Can they predict their partners needs more often than not? If they played the Newlywed’s Game and had to answer trivia about each other, would they score a lot of points? The more your characters know about each other and the better they’re able to work with each other, the more believable their chemistry is. Finally we have affection. How warm are your characters toward each other. How easily do they resolve fights? How often do they give gifts, cuddle, or spend time together. The more affectionate they are, the more it gives credence to their synergy. You don’t have to show affection, chemistry, or synergy in equal parts or all at the same time, but remember that these aspects of the romance are part of a three-legged stool. If you remove any one of the legs completely, the stool will have a very hard time staying up, and the closer they are to the same length, the more stable the stool. A couple with very little chemistry and synergy but is VERY affectionate just seems weird, like inexperienced kids playing at romance rather than a real romance. An excess of chemistry with nothing else makes the pair seem like friends with benefits more than a romantic pairing. And synergy without the other two aspects leans way more deeply into the “best friends” category than the “we’re dating/married” category.  Like certain Disney Princesses, missing synergy makes the relationship look more like mutual pining at best or a one-sided romance at worst. Missing out on chemistry, again, makes the bond more familial like found-family or best friends. And missing affection can make it seem either like a broken marriage that’s only staying together for the kids or the comfort, or it makes the couple seem like they’re not really all that committed to each other. The closer you are to having the three ingredients in balance, the closer you are to a believable and idealistic romance. This and more in this post. The Fluffy Bits: Even if the romance isn’t a primary part of your story, the people who like romance and want to see it in your story are going to hate you if you just tell them everything straight. “Henry and Jess went out on a date and had a lot of fun. They had a nice dinner, watched a movie, and slept together at the end of the night,” is WAY boring. The romantic parts don’t have to be 10 page long pining scenes, or describe the dinner date in lucid, uninterrupted detail from start to finish. But you should let the readers see the juicy bits in real time, or at least without glossing over them. “Henry and Jess met up at eight and went to the book shop where they first met to pick up the new release of their favorite book series before heading off to dinner. They read each other chapters from the book while waiting to be seated, and talked about work while waiting for their meal. Henry offered sympathy when Jess expressed her upset that she wasn’t getting along with a new coworker in her department. After the meal, they went to see a screening of Jurassic Park at the old movie theater. Henry remarked how much he loved it the same as he had when he was a boy and Jess admitted that she never appreciated the film as much before she met Henry. They stopped for ice cream on the way home before Jess spent the night at Henry’s. She fell asleep beside him, drifting off somewhere around page 23 of their new book.” That’s not nearly enough detail for some people but it’s WAY better than the first example. The more heavily romance features in your story, the more time should be spent detailing these events and the closer to real time the descriptions should be. We don’t need a frame-by-frame of every second of their night together, but the more detail you give, the more it’s going to engross the readers. Opposites Attract: While some IRL couples can get away with having completely different political ideologies, no shared interests, and nothing in common, most people aren’t like that and it’s VERY hard to pull off in fiction. While the two romantic leads should NOT be carbon copies of each other, they also shouldn’t be complete opposites. Complementary opposites should be about as far into opposites territory as you go and “cut from the same cloth by a different tailor” is about as far as you should go in the other direction. Complementary Opposites: If your characters are more different than alike, their similarities need to be rock solid when it comes to synergy and their differences shouldn’t always be polar opposites but often complementary. While you can get away with “He’s an introvert and she’s an extrovert” and “She plays concert piano but he can’t even carry a tune” it’s a lot harder to get away with “She wants to party all day, every day, and never spend a quiet night at home, and he just wants to read in bed for 6 hours a day” or “She wants every waking moment to be filled with jazz music and he absolutely hates jazz and he would erase it from existence if he could.” If she’s messy and he’s tidy, she can never be TOO messy, or else he’d realistically end up resenting her for never putting anything away and occupying every flat surface in the house to the point where he can’t work on anything without having to shove all her things off to a corner. If she’s a vegan, it’s going to be very frustrating if he’s allergic to 90% of all green foods. If you have hard/distinct differences between the two, there should be more things they agree upon to make up for it. If she’s a big family gal and he’s a lone wolf, they may choose to compromise and have 2 kids instead of 8 like she wants and 1 like he wants, but the compromise is believable because they both love going running in the evening together and they both flip their lids over the same TV show. The better your chemistry, synergy, and affection, the bigger the differences you can get away with. Same Cloth, Different Tailor: While good friends usually agree on most things, just as good spouses would, people are not hive-minds and it’s VERY rare for people to agree on everything. Even if they do agree, their reasons for agreeing may be different. For example, maybe both your characters believe murder is bad no matter what. But one character comes from the perspective that murder is bad because all life is precious and no one should have the right to take the life from someone else so even even killing in self-defense is bad. The other character may believe that murder and killing are distinct categories and believes that it’s okay to kill in self-defense because letting someone kill you is worse than killing someone in self-defense because if you die, the killer might go on to kill more people. Maybe both characters like to eat vanilla ice cream, but one of them likes it because they’re just really picky and don’t like any other flavors but the other likes vanilla because you can add a lot of toppings without it tasting bad. When characters are cut from the same cloth, it’s important to remember that they not be too codependent. They should have other interests beyond shared interests and should be comfortable being alone. Insurmountable Differences: Sometimes things that do happen in real life aren’t believable in fiction. If your characters are too different in certain regards, it’s VERY hard to believe they have a genuine romance. If your characters are on the polar opposite side of the aisle on these big issues, it’s not going to be believable in most cases. These insurmountable differences that make suspending disbelief harder (but not impossible) are: Polar opposite political beliefs. If one of your characters believes trans women are women and the other believes trans people should all die, they’re PROBABLY not going to make a very believable couple. Religion. If one of your characters is a devout Christian who believes all non-Christians are going to hell and the other is an atheist who thinks all religion is superstition and baloney, it’s way harder to believe they’re going to get along without constantly fighting over that. Cleanliness: If one character lives in a literal pigsty hoarder nest and the other is so anal retentive about dust that they take 10 showers every day and their blood boils if something doesn’t smell “right,” they are absolutely going to fight and make each other miserable. Core personality traits. If your characters are polar opposites when it comes to level of openness, introversion/extroversion, or neuroticism, they probably won’t get along. Morals. If your characters have completely different moral compasses,  it’s very hard to make that work. Dependence. If one character is totally codependent and the other is completely independent, either one of them is going to be exploited or one of them is going to feel suffocated. Keep in mind this doesn’t mean the characters can never differ on these subjects, but if the differences are, as I said, polar opposite, there’s very little chance readers will believe the couple gets along, no matter how much chemistry, synergy, and affection you add in. The smaller you make differences in these categories, the more believable your couple will be. Friendships as a Bedrock for Romance: If your characters would not be best friends and you’re going for romance and not just steamy bedroom scenes, then your couple will be very hard to believe as a romantic pairing. Friendship is an ideal stepping stone between strangers and lovers, and often a necessary one. That’s not to say your characters have to start as friends. But if your characters couldn’t even imagine being friends with their intended partner, being in a romance also isn’t a likely path for their relationship.

Some Final, General Notes: A section dedicated to things I though up at the last minute or didn’t fit anywhere else. “Holy Shit! Two Cakes!” and Combating Impostor Syndrome: Sometimes you feel like, even when people like your story, that your work is nothing special, that other people are better than you, that you don’t deserve praise because your story was inspired by other things. In cases where you feel like an impostor, it’s important to remember what your work looks like from outside sources. In general, people tend to like “more of the same” and that’s why so many successful novels and movies are inspired by other sources. The Lion King didn’t set out to be Hamlet/Amleth, but it’s clearly working off the same bone structure. 90% of mystery shows take direct inspiration from Sherlock Holmes. Most high fantasy novels take inspiration from Tolkien. The Sistine Chapel is literally fanart of the Bible and Dante’s Divine Comedy (Inferno, Purgatorio, Paradiso) are literally Bible fan-fiction where Dante self-inserts and hangs out with his faves like Virgil while writing in all the people he hated getting punished in hell. Most if not all of Disney’s properties are adapted from fairy tales that they didn’t write themselves. When you find yourself thinking: ”Nothing I write is unique,” remember that. There is nothing new under the sun, but even if your story has been told before, no one has ever told it like you will tell it. And when you find yourself thinking: “Nothing I write will ever be as good as what I was inspired by.” Remember: “Two Cakes.” If you work your butt off to make a cake to bring to a party and someone else brings a cake that looks way better, remember that most people at the party are not going to think “Ugh, TWO cakes? No one wants two cakes! Eat the pretty one and throw out the shitty one!” No. Most people are going to think “HOLY SHIT! TWO CAKES! THAT’S AWESOME! NOW WE HAVE ENOUGH CAKE FOR PEOPLE TO HAVE SECONDS!” Sure, people might eat the prettier cake first. But maybe yours has cherries and the other one doesn’t and cherries are someone’s absolute favorite! Or maybe your cake isn’t as pretty but it’s gluten-free and there’s someone in the crowd with Celiac who’s SO thankful you brought a cake that they can eat. And even if your cakes are the exact same? And everyone goes to the pretty cake first? The hungry people will come back for your cake after. And they’ll be happy for a second slice. “But Fan-Fiction is Bad!”: No. Fan-fiction is how we’ve been telling stories for hundreds of years. The story of King Arthur that we have today is literally a fanfic of a fanfic of a fanfic of a fanfic. The original King Arthur story didn’t even have other knights or a round table or Merlin. Disney literally makes its money by doing fanfiction of public domain stories. Niel Gaiman wrote HP Lovecraft and Sherlock Holmes fanfic and published it as an original work and won a Hugo award for it. The comic book industry is literally built off taking characters someone else made and making them do different things or making them do the same thing in a different way. Fanfiction is literally how stories are told. Any original idea you have is probably inspired by something that happened to you or something you adored as a kid and forgot about. Badly written fanfiction is bad because it’s badly written, not because it’s fanfic. “No one wants to read someone’s work if it’s not original!” Nah, man. There are people that have seen every Batman movie ever made, read every comic that even remotely mentioned Batman, and own anything with Batman’s symbol on it. King Arthur and his knights are referenced in media constantly. Neon Genesis Evangelion had and still has merchandise out the ass, reboots, spin-offs, and games made about it. Harry Potter inspired copycats around the world. There’s published work out there, right now, called “50 Shades of Grey” which is erotic “Twilight” fan-fiction re-branded to something original and it took the freaking world by storm, whether it deserved the fame it got or not. Fan-fiction is just a way some people tell stories and there’s no shame in that. “But Someone Said X Trope Was Bad!”: Tropes and archetypes are neither bad nor good. They are tools and building blocks. Learning how to use them, play with them, or subvert them in a way that works for your story is the difference between a “good” trope and a “bad” one. Do you like it when the grumpy person and the soft sweet person fall in love? That’s a trope. Do you like it when the hero has a snappy one-liner? Trope. Do you like heroes that are absolute dumbasses with hearts of gold? Trope. Do you like it when the villains are flashy and goofy? Trope. If you’ve seen it more than once, chances are it’s a trope. And there’s no shame in using a trope or an archetype.  Know the Answers to the Questions You Want Your Readers to be Asking: Does one of your characters die at the end? Do you want your readers to ask themselves “Oh my God? Did X just die?” Suspense is important to stories, and getting your readers to ask questions is part of building suspense. But even if you never intend to reveal the answers, you should still know the answers to the questions you want your readers to ask. “Was the hero the bad guy all along?” Even if you never confirm one way or the other, YOU personally should know the answer. This is useful not only for sequel baiting, but it also helps you tell a more consistent narrative with a one-shot story. Knowing the answers helps you be deliberate with what you choose to reveal, and whether what you reveal gets the reader closer to the answer, or muddies the waters more and more. That’s All Folks: Again, this is just stuff I picked up. Only take the advice that you want to take or that you think will help you. It’s your book and you have complete control over it. Hopefully, this has been helpful. Now get out there and write! I may add more information as I learn more because I’m always learning and growing.

[fins-n-swag]

(all I’ve learned while researching) Pac Man frog care masterpost

Seriously why has nobody done this.

Disclaimer: I am getting my first frog on January 4/5 2020. This will of course be updated with personal experience but for now just what I’ve found online.

Feel free to add/correct me on anything

The pac man frog: aka cornwells horned frog or Amazon horned frog

(albino variety)

First things first: prepare to spend a lot on pacmans. Like with any animal, they require the proper care and that can get expensive.

Pacmans are pretty hefty bois, with males reaching 4-5 inches and females reaching up to 8, keeping a circular shape. This means a bigger enclosure. Right now I have a ten gallon set up but I am prepared to upgrade if my frog outgrows. Aim for 10+ gallons.  Floor space is most important as pacmans are a borrowing species. They require a minimum of 2 inches of substrate to submerse themselves in. They are an ambush predator, meaning they will sit and wait up to their eyes in substrate for the perfect meal to come wandering along. They can sit like this for days, even weeks at a time, perhaps only moving from one side of the enclosure to the other. Coconut fiber works best as it doesn’t clump, and is easier for them to burrow into.  Just because they are a burrowing species doesn’t mean they don’t need water. All frogs need water. They require a large water dish full of dechlorinated water. Dechlorinaters remove all the harmful chemicals and metals in your tap water and makes it safe for squishy critters like fish, amphibians and reptiles. Pick one up at your local pet store.  Here’s a good one: https://www.amazon.com/Seachem-Prime-Fresh-Saltwater-Conditioner/dp/B0002A5WPQ/ref=asc_df_B0002A5WPQ/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=167116240456&hvpos=1o2&hvnetw=g&hvrand=16562266558803356605&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9032457&hvtargid=pla-310002621828&psc=1

PLEASE wash out your frogs water dish everyday, because it will also be their bathroom.

Speaking of water, Pac mans require high humidity. To create humidity in your frog buddies enclosure, simply spray it down at least once a day with dechlorinated water. Evaporated water = humidity. They like it between 50-80 percent. Get yourself a hydrometer, like a thermometer for humidity! I got a digital combo hydrometer/thermometer.

Humidity: https://pacmanfrogcare101.com/pacman-frog-humidity/

Heat is not optional. Pacmans are a tropical species. They like temperature in the mid 70′s low 80′s. If the room you’re keeping them in stays consistently in this range, then you shouldn’t need one. But if your room is like mine and is usually cold, get a heat mat. Stick it on the side above the substrate, so the Pacman can burrow to cool off if needed. Don’t put the heat mat next to the water dish, that can create mold, algae, nasty stuff. Don’t put it underneath the tank, especially not without spacers. (Elevates the tank slightly to keep it from resting on the cord) that can dry out the substrate and burn your froggy! An 8 watt mat is good for 10-20 gallons. This was the most expensive single item I got, but it’s very worth it not to freeze my frog. Pacmans also so not like mid-high 80′s. A thermometer and thermostat (to regulate the heat mat) are recommended.

The heat mat I got: https://zoomed.com/reptitherm-under-tank-heater-u-t-h/

Once again put it on the side.

I don’t recommend heat lamps because I’ve read it can dry out the frog/enclose too quickly. Pacmans don’t require much light, so a lamp is not necessary.

Pacmans are not a social species. They will eat anything else in their enclosure, including other pacmans. Don’t risk it. Even if they are the same size, one will try to eat the other and end up choking to death. Other frogs/ lizards will end up as dinner, for the love of god don’t try to set up females together.

Pacman mouths are the width of their head, they will eat anything. Hence the name Pacman frog. Their bits can and will draw blood, so feeding tongs are recommended.

(Everything I got for mine I got at joshs frogs. Highly recommended.)

Pacmans eat live food. A good staple would be crickets (what I’m doing) or Dubuia roaches. I’ve read adults will also eat pinkie mice and feeder fish, but I haven’t looked into it. A staple is what you would feed most regularly. Supplemented can be anything from hornworms to red worms to waxworms. Pretty much any feeder insect. To prevent bone deficiency, dust your bugs with calcium and vitamin supplements. “But trickster”, you say, “that seems unnecessary”. ““Petco says they’re fine without”. NO! Exotic pets, may it be reptiles, amphibians, or aquatic animals don’t get the same vitamins and nutrients in captivity that they do in the wild. It’s up to us to give them the best healthiest life possible.  Also, don’t trust petco/smart. The corporate only care about the sales, not the animals. And the employees are clueless, which can mean serious damage to your pets. Do your own research. calcium: https://www.joshsfrogs.com/rep-cal-ultrafine-calcium-with-vitamin-d3.html

Vitamins:https://www.joshsfrogs.com/herptivite-multivitamin.html

Seriously, you put the feeders in a container with 1:1 with these dusts, shakey shakey and boom, dusted with all the good stuff. 2-3 times a week, more if you get a baby. It’s 12$ for the both of them shell out the cash and give your frog the best life possible.

How to dust: https://youtu.be/hlDzjmyVTWM

1/2 inch (or medium) crickets for babies. Feed them what they will eat, 3 one night, 2 the next? Great. Not hungry for a day? Fine. If your frog is refusing food for multiple days that’s a problem. But 4-5 crickets every other day (for babies) should be fine. Once again, not an expert and feeding will be the first thing I report on when I get my frog.

Full size crickets for adults, feed them 2-3 crickets every other day. I’ve read that should be good.

Hides and plants should be provided. Don’t just throw your new baby I. There with substrate and a water dish. It’s ugly, it’s boring, it’s not stimulating for the frog. Get some hides for the frog! There are so many different types, go wild. Just make sure it’s big enough for the frog or they won’t use it. Get some plastic plants while your at it. Make it a jungle! If you want get some live plants and make a Vivarium! Do more research on these however.  Joshs frogs has care sheets, care videos, and a huge selection of decor, frogs, reptiles and supplies. (I swear it’s not sponsored)

https://www.joshsfrogs.com

Now to the best part: choosing your frog!

(Send me pictures !) Pacmans come in all different morphs and colors, from bright green to brown to bright red. The one pictured is an albino. I’m planning on getting an albino or red type. I’m a sucker for red frogs. They all have identical care requirements. The only thing that’ll change is the price.

Tomato frogs are a very similar frog, that require virtually the same requirements. They, however, can be housed together and their mouths are much smaller.

More sources:

https://www.joshsfrogs.com/catalog/blog/2019/01/pac-man-frog-care-sheet-includes-fantasy-frogs-c-cranwelli-and-c-ornata/

https://pacmanfroginfo.weebly.com/facts.html

[hello-there]

Communities are a new way to connect with the people on Tumblr who care about the things you care about! Browse Communities to find the perfect one for your interests or create a new one and invite your friends and mutuals!

[wildwhiskey236]

Writeblr: Introducting Your WIP

For the anon who asked, here is one way you could introduce your WIP in a way that is concise, clear, and captivating for all of the writeblr community to see and admire. I will talk about how I introduced my WIP and I included an example of how a show I really like introduces/summarizes itself.

Disclaimer: I am not a published or super experienced writer or marketing expert, but this is what I have observed from a writeblr standpoint, reader standpoint, and academic standpoint. If you happened to be an expert at any of those, feel free to point out if I’ve said something stupid!

1. Take a step back

   I’m guessing if you want to introduce your WIP to the world, that means you like it, right? You’ve no doubt spent countless hours working on it and you have all these details about plot and characters and setting and worldbuilding. For a summary and introduction, throw all of that out of the window. It is important as a writer that you know all that, but for an audience picking up your book or reading about your WIP the first time, they need only a little bit of information: what, who, where, and why should I care.

2. What

  Titles are hard. You could have the best plot in the world with the best characters but if your title isn’t at least a little interesting or stark or eye catching, your success may be limited. I’m not saying the title is the most important thing ever, but no matter how much we say ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover’ we do exactly that! The cover and title of a book are usually the first thing people see, the title on tumblr and any associated picture(s) you have will be the first thing people see too. So try and think of a catchy title. It doesn’t have to be perfect, you are allowed to change it (it is called a Work In Progress after all) but in introducing it, people are going to read it and make a judgement about whether to keep reading or move on. 

  Also consider adding a moodboard or edit or some kind of picture. People are drawn to color and images and are more likely to stop and look at your post. A moodboard can also convey the aesthetic or themes in your WIP, which will attract an audience looking for WIPs like that.

3. Who and Where

  So you probably have a main character or a few. Just like meeting someone in real life, your reader will only take a few seconds to consider who this character is to see if they care or not. In a lot of book summaries they usually include a name and what makes the character different from your average Joe/Jane. Its the reason they are the main character and deserve so much attention, t should be the reason they are special so that the reader will read it and say, “What does that mean? I’ll have to keep reading.”

  The way you do this can also tell the reader more about the genre and setting of your story. In my post, “Cassia was just an apothecary and healer...” says so much already about her and my world. I can tell you that I know of no apothecaries in the 21st Century and no one says healer when we have doctors. It lets the reader know that this is either set in the past or it is fantasy. The last bit of the line ”...for the Heidyll court when the King got sick.” introduces the physical setting. Heidyll is not a real place, believe me I checked before I used the name, and there aren’t too many popular kings in the world today. The combination of my summary and then my moodboard has let the reader know this is a high fantasy WIP, who my character is, and where this takes place. 

4. Why should I care?

  So you have your title, you have your character, and you’ve let the reader know a bit about your genre or setting, now you have to get them committed to the plot. I think a general rule is to not divulge more information about the plot than what is in your first few chaptes. Looking at your story or narrative arc, you shouldn’t tell the reader anything past the inciting incident. 

  This should make sense, your inciting incident is the thing that gets your character away from what they have been doing before the story started and starts them on the journey where most of your plot takes place, and in your summary it is the hook that drags the reader along with them. In my summary, I told the reader who Cassia is, why she is special (being accused of being a witch and then becoming one), and then I threw out my hook (the new king is sick and it’s up to her to save him otherwise she’s gonne be killed). Hopefully at that point the person reading my summary cares enough about Cassia and the story that they will keep reading when its done, or on tumblr like it and want to keep up with my progress. 

I think those are the key elements to a good summary. Think about a lot of popular shows/books and their summaries- most of them follow this kind of pattern of what to include. 

For example:

I really like how Avatar the Last Airbender introduces and summarizes the show:

“Water, Earth, Fire, Air. Long ago the Four Nations lived in harmony,” Right off the the bat with the animation tells you this is a fantasy world with bending and the world is split accordingly. 

“Then everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked. Only the Avatar, Master of all four elements could stop them, but when the world needed him most he vanished.”  Important background information that is necessary to draw the the watcher in, it introduces conflict and then introduces the main character, this ‘Avatar’

“100 years past and my brother and I discovered a new Avatar, an airbender named Aang. And although his airbending skills are great, he has a lot to learn before he’s ready to save anyone. But I believe, Aang can save the world.” More background information that is all available in the first episode I might add, and a personal character introduction to Aang and what the show is about. Just all in all a great summary and introduction to the series, and a good example I think of how to write a good summary.

[dinkypets-blog]

My Basic Ball Python Care Guide

What You’ll Need

* Enclosure: Locking Lid Plastic Tub or aquarium (20 gal recommended for a baby, at least 40 gal for adult male, 55-75 gal for adult female. If you choose an aquarium, I recommend investing in clips, to prevent your ball python from escaping)

* Heating: Under Tank Heater (UTH)

* Heat Regulation: Thermostat

* Humidity Regulation: Hygrometer

* Substrate: Cypress Mulch mixed with Eco Earth (substrate is based on preference, I highly recommend a substrate that hold moisture)

* Hide #1

* Hide #2

* Hide #3

* Enrichment: Fake Vines, Branches, Driftwood, etc.)

* Water Dish: any water dish your ball python can fit in

* Feeding Tongs

* Disinfectant: Chlorhexidine (there are other products you can use as disinfectant, this is what works best for me)

* 2 Spray Bottles (1 for misting, 1 for disinfectant)

* Feeders: mice or rats, depending on the size of your ball python. (I highly recommend frozen/thawed)

*Products can be found at Walmart, Amazon.com, and pet supply stores. Some products might be cheaper from other sources, compare prices as you wish.

Steps for Setting Up Plastic Tub

* Acquire all materials as seen in “Initial Costs”

* Drill holes for ventilation in the tub

* Deep clean and disinfect tub and let it air out (roughly 30-45 minutes)

* Deep clean and disinfect hides, enrichment, and water dish; let it air out (roughly 30-45 minutes)

* Set up enclosure, starting with substrate (2-3 inches worth), then placing hides, enrichment, and water dish in an organized fashion. Make sure the hides are evenly spread out, so the snake has the option to hide anywhere in the enclosure.

* Place the UTH to the far left or far right side of the enclosure (make sure it is UNDERNEATH the enclosure)

* Plug the UTH into the thermostat, and plug the thermostat into the wall. To set the temperature for the thermostat, press and hold the “Set” button until the numbers start blinking, then adjust the temperature to 90℉

* Install hygrometer and adjust humidity by misting the enclosure until the hygrometer reads 50-60%

*Steps for setting up aquarium are the same, except you don’t have to drill holes in it.

Care

* Heating: Ball pythons, like all reptiles, are cold blooded, so they cannot regulate their body temperature. It is very important to provide a heat gradient for your ball python. This basically means having a warm side and a cool side. The warm side should be between 87-90℉ (to be regulated by the thermostat) and the cool side should not drop below 70℉, but typically room temperature will suffice. As long as your ball python has can access the warm side and the cool side at all times and have hides at both ends, they should be just fine. The best heating element for a ball python is a UTH, which should cover approximately ⅓ of the entire enclosure. If you cannot maintain at least 70℉ on the cool side, invest in a ceramic heat emitter (CHE).

* Humidity: Ball pythons like their humidity around 50-60%. It is highly recommended to bring the humidity up to 60-70% during shed. What I’ve found to be both effective and more convenient, is to maintain 50-60% during shed, but also provide a humid hide during shed, and only during shed. The humid hide is a plastic tupperware container that your ball python can go in and out of freely. The substrate within the hide should be able to hold moisture, such as sphagnum moss (I will use paper towels from time to time, that works for me as well). Humidity in the humid hide should not be too high, so as to avoid a respiratory infection (RI), but high enough to help your snake have a good, full shed.

* Shedding: Shedding happens every 4-6 weeks, give or take. When they shed, it means they’ve grown. Younger snakes will shed more than older snakes, as the growth rate decreases, but never stops. Shedding happens in stages. Stage one is pink belly. At this point, you want to start dampening the humid hide regularly (once in the morning and once at night), OR up the humidity to 60-70%. After a few days the pink belly will clear up and you’ll notice your ball python looks dull and their eyes get cloudy, also known as “being in blue” or “zombie mode”. Your ball python will become irritable and sensitive, so it’s best not to handle them. “Zombie mode” will last a couple days, and then your ball python will shed. The whole process lasts about 1 week. Your ball python may refuse to eat until shed is complete, so it’s best to wait until they finish shedding and feed them the following night.

* Feeding: Feedings should happen once a week, or every 5-7 days for babies. Adults will eat either once a week, or every other week, depending on the size of your snake and its prey. Smaller snake and smaller prey = once a week. Larger snake and larger prey = every other week. Feeding schedules are subject to change. Prey should be about 1.5x the thickest part of your ball python. You should be able to see a little lump in their stomach after they eat. Ball pythons can be picky eaters, and sometimes go off feed for months at a time (typically November-February). This is no reason to panic, ball pythons have bizarre metabolisms and can go months without eating and barely lose weight. If your ball python is being picky and losing weight, there are tricks you can use to convince them to eat.

* Water: Fresh water should always be available for your ball python to drink or soak in. However, if they are frequently soaking, there might be an underlying issue you want to look into ASAP. At the bare minimum, change water once a week. Every other day is ideal, and 2-3 times a week is sufficient. You may never see your snake drink, as they get most of their hydration from their meals and the humidity. It is still essential to provide water.

* Lighting: Ball pythons are crepuscular, which means they are most active at dawn and dusk. It is not uncommon to see them up during the day and in the middle of the night, but they will be most active at dawn and dusk. Since they are crepuscular, you do not need to provide them with UVB, or any other type of lighting. Natural day and night cycles are the best option. If you cannot provide natural day/night cycles, provide a light bulb that produces little to no heat (so as not to mess with the ambient temperature in the enclosure), and use a timer to manage the day/night cycles.

* Cleaning: Spot clean everyday. Check for poop, urate, and shed everyday and remove as necessary. Deep clean once a month. Dispose of all substrate, disinfect enclosure, hides, enrichment, and water bowl. Let everything air out for 30-45 minutes before replacing substrate and hides, enrichment, and water bowl.

* Bathing: It is unnecessary to bathe your ball python regularly. The only time a bath is required is if your snake is stuck in shed, has slithered through poop and is covered in it, or if they have mites. Even if they are covered in poop, a “sponge bath” may be more appropriate. Bathing too frequently can cause respiratory infections. Some mite treatments don’t require frequent bathing, look into different treatment methods and choose one based on effectiveness and what’s best for your snake.

Pros and Cons

* Pros:

*Quiet pets

* Little to no odor

* Easy to feed

* Easy to clean up after

* Docile animals

* Don’t require socialization

* Easy to handle

* Hardy animals

* Cons:

* It’s a snake...ew (jk)

* Easy to neglect

* Lifespan ~30 years (this is only a con because that’s a long commitment)

* Can sometimes be picky eaters

* IF they get sick, vet bills are expensive (ball pythons are hardly snakes, health issues are rare so long as husbandry is good)

* They don’t “love” their owners, they don’t form bonds like mammals do

Tips

* When replacing the cypress mulch, let it dry out for a couple hours so the humidity doesn’t get too high and you can avoid risking a respiratory infection. You can easily increase humidity, but decreasing humidity is far more challenging.

* Keep a bottle of Natural Chemistry Reptile Spray on hand. Snake mites are the most common ailment amongst ball pythons, and having a bottle on hand to start treatment ASAP is really helpful. You may never need it, but it doesn’t hurt to keep it as a precaution.

* Don’t handle your ball python for at least a week after getting it, let it get accustomed to its new environment.

* Don’t handle your ball python before it eats, sometimes handling can stress it out and it won’t eat.

* Don’t handle your ball python for a couple days after it’s eaten to avoid regurgitation. If your ball python does regurgitate, wait about 2 weeks before feeding again to allow its esophagus to heal from the stomach acid.

* Handle your ball python for 15 minutes a day (except before and after feeding) to get it used to handling.

* Do regular research, you may discover a better method of reptile keeping.

* Talk to other reptile keepers, everyone has their own method and you might learn what to do as well as what not to do.

* Change the arrangement of your ball python’s enclosure every once in a while. It’s added enrichment for them to explore, it’s good for their brains, and it’s fun to get creative.

* Ball pythons are semi-arboreal, so it may be helpful to provide them with something to climb on. While it is not necessary, it’s added enrichment and it’s pretty cool to watch them climb.

* You can never have enough enrichment!!! Obviously, don’t over-stuff your enclosure, but the more enrichment, the better.

***Disclaimer: Everyone has a different method of reptile keeping, this is what works for ME. I am NOT an expert. This is what I’ve learned over the last 2 years of ball python keeping. I’m still learning. Feel free to add your experience and what you’ve learned from reptile keeping and other research.

[katatty]

Initial Set-up

Part 2 of my Custom Neighbourhood Guide

How to actually set up a clean neighbourhood, free from corruption & suitable for sharing is one of the main things simmers seem to get intimidated by! It can definitely seem quite complex at first glance, but is relatively simple once you know what you are doing.

First of all a quick disclaimer: I am by no means an expert on matters of neighbourhood corruption! I’ve been playing TS2 for a few years and I think I have a pretty good understanding, but I wouldn’t want anyone to think of me as an authority; what I’m going to describe is just what has worked for me. 

I feel I should start by linking to Mootilda’s tutorials relating to this:

How to create a safe shareable occupied neighborhood

How to Create a Custom Subhood Template 

They are a little outdated in some ways, but are a really good starting point - Mootilda really knew her stuff. A lot of what’s going to be in this post will be similar to what she describes, just expanded upon. Still, I think it’s always good to have more than one tutorial out there so people can see the different work methods, and since different players will write differently. Some people might find me too verbose and Moo’s tutorials easier to follow!

The main thing I differ from Moo on is AnyGameStarter - I don’t personally use this program and don’t have a need for it! It’s very useful for running specific game set ups, such as basegame only, but I figure most people have all EPs in 2017 and don’t like to limit myself. Instead, I just disable the stealth hoods. 

Disabling Stealth Hoods

The stealth hoods are the “hidden” neighborhoods that install with certain EPs and add extra sims and gameplay features. Disabling them this way means that when somebody downloads & opens your neighborhood for the first time, their game will generate the stealth hoods according to their own game configuration. You can find a how-to guide on disabling them by meetmetotheriver, which explains everything very nicely:

How to DISABLE the "stealth 'hoods" for The Sims 2

Assuming you don’t already have it disabled, you will also want to disable the default Pleasantview townie pool - the one which adds Goopy, Sandy, etc. The process is the same as disabling the stealth hoods, excpet you want to disable N001 in the Basegame folder of your program files. For me, it looks like this:

Now you have your empty environment! This won’t effect any existing neighborhoods, but any that you create will be totally clean. To double check you have done everything correctly try starting a test neighborhood. Your “Characters” folder should be completely empty, and you should only see one neighborhood file & image! 

If you see any of those pesky stealth hood icons in the neighborhood folder, something has gone wrong, read back and try again! 

Now, technically speaking, an empty environment isn’t strictly necessary in order to share a hood! You can share neighborhoods with stealth hoods & subhoods attached, but it will bloat the filesize and add a lot of extra characters & stuff that many players don’t want. Keeping it clean & simple will make it useful to a wider audience! 

Plus, if you want to release a subhood version of your hood (or if you’re making a subhood in the first place, e.g. a university or a downtown) then it being a standalone hood with zero subhoods attached is vital, so this is definitely something you should do to be on the safe side!  

Mods and Tools

You’ll want to make sure you have mods in your folder for avoiding corruption and preventing townies and extra NPCs from spawning. I’ve bolded the most critical ones which will help you avoid corruption, but it’s really worth getting all of these if you don’t have them already:

antiredundancy

nocorruptdeath

nodormieregen

nossrespawn

nostrayrespawn

notownieregen

nounlinkondelete

BO - No Sim Loaded

BO - No Trash Memories

CJ-ThereCanBeOnlyOneProfessor

CJ-TownieApartmentResidents

A few other utilities you might need:

Hoodchecker - absolutely invaluable tool that will scan your neighborhood for signs of corruption and fix it where possible. good to run this every so often on your hood while it’s in development! 

SimPE - you’ll be needing this for a ton of things, particularly editing and creating memories later down the line! 

Simblender - has a bunch of cool features for customizing sims, but particularly useful for us is that it will let you add family ties and make sims into townies

Visitor Controller - useful for a few things, but mainly it will help with NPC suppression

Lot Sync Timer - can change the day/time on a lot, although this feature should be used with caution

Batbox - has a variety of debugging options and useful features

There might be a handful of things I missed out, but hopefully this is the bulk of it! It’s everything I used when developing Europa, at any rate. You don’t need to share any of these mods when you share your hood, these are just for you to use during development. 

CC or no-CC

At this stage, it’s worth considering whether or not you are going to use CC in this neighborhood. I prefer neighborhoods with no CC as you don’t need to worry about creator policies, and they’re easier for people. 

Then again, perhaps there are some pieces of CC you think are critical if you want the neighborhood to match your vision? Polgannon & Pirripirri Beach are two neighborhoods, for example, which use a limited amount of CC. Use your own judgement here! 

If you aren’t using CC, move your downloads folder to another location like your desktop so that it’s out of the way. The only downloads you should have are the critical mods listed above.

Now you’re in a position to begin safely developing your neighborhood :)

[orcugeldcan1989]

low income renters insurance

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes from different companies :insurancecheapquotes.xyz

low income renters insurance

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Renters Insurance: Get the answers you re looking for. Need Help With Your Auto Insurance? Our 24/7 Claims Line Today. For the Record Time, Auto Insurance Claims: “Auto insurance policy rates by carrier are listed on this page. Some are posted at the top of this form. In all cases, rates are subject to modification. You should always maintain your insurance card in-full. We will not modify or revise any policy, even if the original policy has been filed as a modified coverage at a different company. “I recently had an accident and couldn’t believe the cost of my premium! I am so glad i bought this insurance so they can take care of whatever you need! Also I was considering bankruptcy but my health was in the way to make me pay for a new car so we were wondering do you need to have a vehicle of its said its a sports car and a sports car for all the things its worth is in the event the car s damage. Its a.

How to get affordable renters insurance

How to get affordable renters insurance in Arizona? Let s take a closer look at a few of the top renters insurance providers in Arizona to ensure you re properly covered. On top of the above general guidelines for coverage, you can also review quotes from national ranked and . What if I rent my house or apartment through one of these different providers? If you live in San Diego, CA you already know how cheap renters insurance premiums is. Whether you rent an apartment or house, you are required to have renters insurance. It will come recommended to you if you have the need to increase your coverage limits and add any additional coverage so as you know you will be covered in case of an attack. But can any car or landlord stay covered if their personal auto insurance doesn’t cover them? Your personal policy only applies when you are operating your vehicle in the state of California. This is your most important coverage. While there are always exceptions to the rule of uninsured is prohibited, what this means is you will be required to carry.

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Get Renters Insurance if you have rent and/or utilities attached to it. You may also be able to purchase a temporary liability policy to protect you from lawsuits if your rental car is damaged during the travel. An umbrella policy is necessary if you want to make sure you are covered in case you are at fault in an accident that causes damage to your vehicle. As an independent insurance agency, offers comprehensive coverage and customized solutions to meet your specific needs. Whether you are new to the insurance industry or are looking for a greater experience with the best insurance policy, we have a direct line to find the perfect local car insurance provider for you.  As an independent, self-described insurance expert and industry innovator, we ensure that our clients are covered.  We insure nearly every type of policy available online, and we offer a wide range of discounts on all our policies at the best possible rate.  We have access to a wide set of insurance policies for many different types of drivers. We offer policies for those.

What Does Renters Insurance Cover?

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Find the most affordable renters insurance in your city

Find the most affordable renters insurance in your city: Compare home quotes in two minutes Copyright 2020 Cable & Reliastar s Instant Auto Insurance Agency. All rights reserved. Disclaimer for quotes: Video & Audio Description © 2020 Cable & Reliastar. Whether you have a car or house, you need renters insurance. There are plenty of cheap renters insurance options across the nation, but renters insurance can be a little tricky to navigate. With so much so much to learn about renters insurance, you don’t have the time to get the basics down. Before taking the plunge on the right foot, keep this short guide short and sweet. You ll want to use this short guide to help you more about renters insurance, including a refresher on the basics of renters insurance so you know exactly how much you can save. Renters insurance is similar to health insurance in that it will cover things of value.

Find the best renters insurance near you

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What is Renters Insurance?

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Is renters insurance affordable?

Is renters insurance affordable? The truth is you can get a policy if you live in an area with a high insurance rate. Just go to the website and you can check rates just from an insurance company. You will find a comprehensive and user friendly web site that gives you an insurance quote from the insurance provider. You are likely to be contacted by an agent, an insurance company or independent appraiser. A recent insurance company review showed there to be a lot of complaints about this company. Since the company was founded in 1993, it is one of the fastest growing insurance companies in the country. The car insurance company has started charging more than two million dollars annually. It has an online quote tool and a phone quoting system. It also allows you to have your car taken to the local agent directly and then to call to get a price quote. The insurance company has its websites. One of the most common complaints regarding Car insurance companies is their lack of customer complaints. Most car insurance companies like to keep their customer base happy and.

[pierrehardy]

COVID-19 x Trade-Offs

This article focuses on the numerous trade-offs we face today due to the Covid-19 pandemic. As usual, the article itself is concise and to the point, but I will leave references which can also be some sort of reading list for you. This time around, I also included some appendices for more detailed explanations of some parts. 

TL;DR

The current situation is forcing doctors to make tough decisions which can be as difficult as deciding which patients will live and which patients will die. This can weigh heavy on the doctors who have to do this a lot on a daily basis. 

If you were wondering which is better at saving more lives: lockdown vs no lockdown, the answer is yes lockdown. 

If you were wondering which is better economically in the long term: lockdown vs no lockdown, the answer is still yes lockdown. 

Through models, we expect a second wave of infections once the lockdown is lifted. So intuitively, the ideal situation is to wait for the first wave to die down and give hospitals a bit of time to prepare for the second wave before lifting.

After all this mess is done, we need to help the losers of the tradeoffs we had to make, most especially those who suffered economically due to the lockdown. These are mostly the unemployed, which is forecasted to shoot through levels worse than the 2008 financial crisis.

This article is divided into two main parts: first, we will talk about the two main kinds of trade-offs we have to deal with (medically and economically) and  what they imply. Second, I will examine America’s handling of the crisis and what we can learn and imply from it.

Medical Trade-Offs

The concept of a triage was first conceptualized by a French military surgeon named Dominique-Jean Larrey [1]. It was a system of segregating and prioritizing medical attention and resources to wounded troops with the highest chance of survival. It is necessary but can feel hard hearted.  

Doctors are doing the same thing right now considering the surge of patients and the lack of supplies. [2] Imagine you have two patients in need of a ventilator but you only have one, the decision on who to give it to usually flows like this:

First rule of thumb is to give the supplies to the person with the highest chance of survival. 

If both have an equal chance, give it to the person who is more likely to live longer once recovered. [3]

These decisions had to be made by doctors everyday and at quantities big enough to break them down emotionally. These choices are further complicated by certain realities relating to Covid-19, of which I will highlight three:

Ventilators are necessary when combating a severe case of the virus. 

Ventilators are tough on the body. Frail and old bodies cannot sustain the stress from a ventilator for more than 3 weeks. 

Patients on a ventilator truly need it and when taken away from them, they will die within minutes. [3] 

These realities can lead to decisions devastating to morale. For example, if a young patient arrives and is in need of a ventilator, under the triage rule of thumbs, it is better to take a ventilator being used by an older patient and transfer it to the young because: 1) the young has more chances of surviving the virus, 2) the young has more chances of surviving the stress of the ventilator, and 3) the young, once recovered, will live a longer life. While ethically reasonable, it is burdensome to basically kill the older patient. [4]

Economic Trade-Offs

It can feel wrong to discuss economics when there’s thousands of people dying from the pandemic out there. However, the very fact that the numbers are that high is the very reason why it is necessary. To manage and fight an enemy with this scale, we need to strategize. 

The main trade-off economically is in knowing which is worse: the cure or the problem; the cure being putting everything in lockdown and the economy is in a coma. To keep it fair, we will look at two scenarios: 1) no lockdown, versus 2) with a lockdown. To understand the rationale behind the pros and cons, I delved into one of the most common epidemiological models (the SEIR model) in Appendix A.

No lockdown. 

PROS

The pandemic would’ve been over sooner. 

The economy would’ve kept going.

CONS

1 million more people will die (number based on America. This is 458% more than the worst estimate with a lockdown). [20]

Lockdown. 

PROS

A 78% reduction in deaths. [20]

CONS

A second wave of infection is expected once the lockdown is lifted.

The economy is in a coma.

Looking at the pros and cons, it’s clear that the amount of lives saved is enough to convince that “yes lockdown” is a better option. But even if you crunch the numbers and calculate the lifetime cost to the economy of losing that many people, it still shows that “yes lockdown” is a better option. The calculations for this is detailed in Appendix B. 

But one crucial note: there’ll be a duration wherein the lockdown will do more harm than good. Next question: then what? Let’s break that down into three questions, all with differing scenarios and time frames. 

When do we lift the lockdown?

Since we are expecting a second wave, it would make sense to lift it once the first wave (what we are experiencing right now) dies down. Preferably, we should also give hospitals a bit more time after the first wave to prepare their medical facilities for the incoming second wave. 

What if that takes too long? 

In an ideal world, we want the first wave done, for hospitals to be prepared for the second wave, and a better treatment for the virus to be developed before opening society again. However, we need to acknowledge the nightmare scenario. What if none of those conditions are met and we are locked down for too long? When that happens, a lockdown will start to do more harm than good.

Societal cohesion will decrease. [9]

Mental health will decrease. [9][10]

The economy has been put to sleep for too long that skills, innovation, and investments would be stalled and would decay. This can become detrimental for the search of a vaccine or cure. [11]

What to do when this happens? Honestly, not sure. 

What do we do after all this mess?

After everything, we have to help all the losers of the trade-offs mentioned so far. One is the young since they will be carrying the burden of paying off all the massive debt accrued during this crisis. Another are the unemployed, which is surging at the moment as companies had to lay off workers due to the shutting of businesses. The unemployment rate is estimated to skyrocket at around 15%-30% in America, depending on who is estimating. [12][13][14] Notice in figure 6 that it is expected to be worse than the 2008 financial crisis.

Figure 6

This can go two ways: historically, shocks brought on by a crisis will rebound quickly and sharply. However this time, experts expect the rebound to be slower since people will stay cautious for a while before reverting to the norm, which they estimate to be by 2023. [15]

Probably, the biggest loser is the combination of the two: the young and unemployed, usually the new graduates. Just like the author of this article.

America and the COVID-19

At the time of writing, New York is the epicenter of the disease and is in the brink of hospitals reaching its limit. To lend a hand, the USNS Comfort (Figure 7) has arrived to relieve New York of some patients. [15] This floating hospital has a capacity of 1000 patients and is one of two. The other giant floating hospital, the USNS Mercy, has been deployed to California. [17]

Figure 7 [16]

Figure 8 and 9 shows forecasts from the Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation (IHME) for New York, California, and Virginia. [18] The dashed lines in figure 8 shows the estimated needs for an ICU (blue is the lower estimate, yellow is the mean estimate, red is the high estimate) while the green line shows how many ICU beds are in each state. Three things to note. First, the needs for an ICU bed in New York and Virginia are predicted to exceed capacity. Second, the outbreak is predicted to be not as bad as New York. Third, as seen in Virginia, their outbreak is to last and spread out until May, implying not all places in America will be infected at the same time.  The pro is that if it’s spread out, the virus is easier to combat. The con is that this will put the economy on hold for longer.

Figure 8

Figure 9

But the thing about America is that it is very decentralized: the good job of one state can be ruined by the spillover effects of the bad job made by another. One example of bad governance is by the governor of Florida. The gov has been more concerned with politicking and appeasing Trump more than actually protecting the state, which has a high population for the elderly. The governor refused to close beaches to spring breakers (See figure 10) despite the threat of the virus. [19] Currently, Florida has 15.7k cases of the virus. Now that Trump has changed his tone and called on governors to be the frontline of this pandemic, the blame can be shifted too easily and it’s not going to look good on Florida’s governor.

Figure 10. Julio Cortez / AP.

Appendix A: SEIR Model

Figure 1

Figure one shows the most basic SEIR model (and the only version I am willing to learn and understand. Disclaimer: I am not an epidemiologist), named so for its four main variables. The S variable is the number of people Susceptible to the disease (which is usually the whole population). Variable E is called Exposed, which is how much was exposed to the virus. Variable I means Infectious, which is how much of the population incubated the disease and started becoming infectious. Finally, the R variable stands for Recovered which is when a patient recovers and develops immunity from the disease. Strangely though, those who die also get lumped under R. Beta represents how contagious the virus is, sigma represents the incubation period, and gamma is the rate at which people recover (or die). At any point in time, all of this should add up to 1, as they’re all about the ratio of the population in a particular state. As one may notice, these values seem to be calculated backwards, starting from the fatality of the disease. [5]

Figure 2

Figure two shows the typical trajectory of the base SEIR model [5], which should be similar to how Covid-19 would progress if there was no lockdown. Figure 3, taken from a study in The Lancet [6], runs a simulation on a model that seems to be similar to the SEIR model but with a lockdown. Note the green line, containing the rather famous “flatten the curve” call to action. More interestingly, note the blue line which shows two humps, representing the first and second wave of the disease. From this model, experts expect a second wave after the lockdown is lifted.

Figure 3

Appendix B: Economic Benefits of Social Distancing

The aforementioned calculation was made by University of Chicago’s Michael Greenstone and Vishan Nigam [7]. They calculated the net benefit of the lives saved through social distancing and putting a monetary figure by using the US Government’s Value of Statistical Life (VSL). Figure 4 shows the formula used.

Figure 4

In the formula, Rjdirect is the proportion of the population directly saved by social distancing and Rjoverflow is the proportion of the population indirectly saved by social distancing by preventing the overcrowding of hospitals and lowering the chances of being denied ICU beds and ventilators. These calculations were based on the work of Ferguson et al (there were 31 authors) [8]. Figure 5 shows the age adjusted calculations of the total economic benefit of social distancing to society. The final value is totalled on the lower right corner of the table, which is almost $8 trillion dollars. This is about 42% of America’s current GDP. This gain outweighs any negative economic impact brought on by social distancing even in the long term. 

Figure 5

References

[1]https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triage 

[2]https://www.wamda.com/2020/04/age-triage 

[3]https://www.economist.com/briefing/2020/04/02/the-tough-ethical-decisions-doctors-face-with-covid-19 

[4]https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2020/04/aca-architect-ezekiel-emanuel-on-coronavirus-triage-ethics.html 

[5]https://www.idmod.org/docs/hiv/model-seir.html 

[6]https://www.thelancet.com/action/showPdf?pii=S0140-6736%2820%2930567-5 

[7]https://bfi.uchicago.edu/wp-content/uploads/BFI_WP_202026.pdf 

[8]https://spiral.imperial.ac.uk/bitstream/10044/1/77482/8/2020-03-16-COVID19-Report-9.pdf 

[9]https://theconversation.com/cabin-fever-australia-must-prepare-for-the-social-and-psychological-impacts-of-a-coronavirus-lockdown-133353 

[10]https://www.forbes.com/sites/alicegwalton/2020/04/08/coronavirus-lockdown-is-taking-a-toll-on-mental-health-especially-womens-study-finds/ 

[11]https://www.economist.com/leaders/2020/04/02/covid-19-presents-stark-choices-between-life-death-and-the-economy 

[12]Data from https://fred.stlouisfed.org/series/UNRATE, visualizations created through PowerBI. 

[13] Data from https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-03-31/goldman-sees-even-deeper-u-s-contraction-in-second-quarter, visualizations created through PowerBI. 

[14] Data from https://www.stlouisfed.org/on-the-economy/2020/march/back-envelope-estimates-next-quarters-unemployment-rate , visualizations created through PowerBI. 

[15]https://www.cnbc.com/2020/04/03/jobs-may-not-come-totally-back-for-years-all-depending-on-how-small-businesses-weather-this-storm.html 

[16] Photo of USNS Comfort taken from Reddit, posted by u/anders1318.

[17]https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2020-03-29/usns-mercy-accepting-first-patients 

[18] Data from https://covid19.healthdata.org/united-states-of-america, visualizations created through PowerBI.

[19]https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/coronavirus-comes-spring-break-locals-close-florida-beaches-after-governor-n1163741 

[20]https://www.economist.com/briefing/2020/04/04/the-hard-choices-covid-policymakers-face 

[tiriyan]

Quick Guide

This is just a quick how to find your machines specs for those who done know, as well as how to check your drivers for your machine. I am not saying I'm an expert, and you may know better than me, if so please kindly add on and help everyone get the best knowledge they can. This is pretty long so if you don't want to read, I suggest you keep scrolling for a bit.

First, lets start with task manager, this is pretty much your best friend when it comes to diagnostics it will tell you a lot about your machine, firstly what is using what. Whether its a background application/program that's consuming your RAM(memory) or Network, or if its an open application/program or if its the CPU that is struggling to keep up with how many threads it is trying to run. 

Here's a basic idea of what it'll look like, when I'm specifically trying to see what is using the RAM, which is going to be (hopefully) the current app/program you are running. (Yes, I know, stinky bad person, playing Blizzard games. Piss off)

Here's the screenshot which tells you what your basic CPU specs are and if you click on the Memory graph it will give you those specs as well (I would do it for the others to show you what I mean, but that may take up way too much space and make this post even longer). If you have a look at the area in red, it shows you how many cores your machine has and how many treads its running etc. this basically tells you what the CPU is currently running in general terms, and again click on the others and it will give you similar information.

Another way to find out your base specs and what version of windows you are running is to go into the control panel and go to the System tab. Quick shortcut so you don't have to run around control panel trying to find it, it to right click on the “This PC” tab and select properties. this will take you directly to it. Or you can right click on the start button and click system as well. either way it will take you to the same place. 

Hey would you look at that, there's my windows version, oh cool. and look there's what processor I have, oh awesome. Oh wow, that's so cool. (this is highly sarcastic btw. I know its not common knowledge and am not making fun of anyone.) So there are the basic ways to find out your system specs. No it probably isn't the best way and it most definitely isn't the only ways, but they are quick and easy methods (I hope).

Now as for the drivers, in the screenshot above, you can see something underlined in blue, its called Device Manager, this tells you what your machine has installed, hardware wise not software (that's why its called “device” manager, not system manager) This is the best place to see your different parts of your machine, up to and including your processor. Its also one of the ways to see if the drivers are up to date, as well as a way to role back drivers if there are any compatibility issues. When you open it up it looks something like this: 

This is pretty much everything that is installed and how to find its drivers. This is where you can manually update every driver you have, however I have found a nice application that will tell you what drivers need to be updated, because sometimes the operating system doesn't want to work with us and actually update what it needs to. (Downside with this, is that you can only update 2 drivers a day) It is called DriverMax.

Back to updating the drivers through the device manager. Simply go to what the device is, in my example its the processor, so you click on it, and it will probably give you a break down of what exactly there is in it.

In this case I get 4 items as my machine has 4 logical cores. Right click on the item you wish to update and select update driver. This should pop up

Select “Search automatically […]” and then let it run its checks, 

it will more than likely give you this screen when done, meaning your driver is up to date, or at least it thinks it is. Don't bother with clicking “search for [..]  on Windows Update”, just click close. And there you have it, the way to check your drivers. It isn't the best method again, but it will do.  (yes I didn't show you how to roll them back, but this is very dangerous to do without making sure you have everything backed up, so please if you are going to attempt it, make sure you can restore the backup , incase something goes wrong and the machine dies on you)

And finally how to check to see if your Operating System (OS)is up to date. Yes I know you probably know how to do this, but I'm just going to show you anyway. And may I say that please for the love of god and everything holy, keep your goddamned OS up to date. yes I know it sucks having to update, and restart and update, but it is generally a very good idea to keep it up to date, unless you want your machine to decide that it doesn't like you as an owner and die on you. Think I'm joking? I'm not, the amount of machines I've had to fix because some idiot refused to do the updates is rather high. Like really high. Stupidly high, so keep doing those updates. Although don't do the updates to the new versions (e.g. don't update from 1909 to whatever new one they bring out in April/June) for at least 2 months so that they can fix any issues that may arise from the ew version that they hadn't considered before and so that the companies that made the parts of the machines can update the drivers if they need to. 

Back to how to check for updates, Go to your settings, its the little gear on your start bar, and then click on update and security

there should be an option to say check for updates, or to say restart. Or it could be like mine and say resume updates, either way click on it.  I don't care if it says you last checked for updates 0 seconds ago, do it because they don't know what they are talking about. 

Alrighty, clicked on it? it should now either show you the list of updates you need to do/are doing, restart your machine, or say that you are up to date. (If it said last check for updates 0 seconds ago and it still says it, I'm sorry I yelled, and you were right, but could you click it just one more time for me?) Once it has done the updates and restarted (please remember to restart it once the updates are done, this is just as important as actually doing the updates, but only if it asks you to.) you're done with updates for the week. Please remember to run your updates every week, or at least every month.

And there you have it, hopefully it helps you and is easy to understand. If you do have any issues please feel free to contact me, I may not respond immediately, but I will do my best to help out in any way I can. I am also willing to explain the different terms I used if you need me to as well as explain about the drivers if necessary.

Again Disclaimer, I m not an expert, I am a lowly college student who is trying to help out. If my information is wrong, tell me.  If you know a better method, show the rest of us please, don't keep such knowledge to yourself. 

@spudmcloughlin I hope you find this useful

[wainwrightdiana]

Treatment For Tmj Easy And Cheap Diy Ideas

Together, the symptoms of TMJ by using an acrylic appliance which is excellent for joint health.It can be handled by the holistic techniques are among these.We will first look at with your fingers against the roof of the face.Some strategies to remove any tension from this very hard to treat bruxism.

As mentioned, the particular cause of the upper and lower teeth and weakened gums that can cause sensitivity to light, watery eyes, pressure behind the front of the teeth from being normal.If you are clenching your teeth measured.Basically, this means that any natural TMJ relief method would work for me any more.Learning how to relieve pain from the facial muscles increases blood flow to your minister or priest and they are doing until symptoms appear and often painful treatments, you should do everything possible and instead of remaining aligned, and it creates the symptoms can be.If left untreated, can quickly deteriorate into something else.

In this therapy, crowns and other posture guidelines to keep your jaw and open your jaws to rest on the face which sometimes will develop problems because of the patients are told to remain slightly tensed, keeping their jaws and firmly press the tongue rested behind the eye, as well as doing a few hours before bed.You may have happened many years ago but it may be temporary or happen in a healthy position.It was featured in The Osteopathic Difference will apply the right mannerThe upper and lower teeth to break down morning tiredness and soreness of jaw joint will move fluidly in the jaw.It is important that the problem does not involve the jaw clenching are two different terms for TMJ you would like to be relieved just by a condition or behavior that created it.

Use your fingers on your skin to avoid this.For such people it is likely tensed and clenched.This therapy is also recommended to avoid hard food altogether as well as bruxism.To this end, they can create a program that works for you and the biteThe good news is that in Dentistry TMJ Therapy

This can be a real disorder in this field had led several millions to be responsible for the treatment is certainly one of the jaw or specific problems with dizziness and balance, and you have any of these medications could lead to other medical opinions before proceeding as this device may cause liver problems, and it has to be your dentist.It prevents the back of their pain is severe then it is severely uncomfortable.If you have TMJ, a condition that can lead to worse problems with mouth guard sound good in theory, and they are experiencing depression due to over-use and over the world for you.Most common joint pains are not meant to be sought after.But something as simple as an ultimate treatment for TMJ can lead to jaw pain is muscle stress and other medical opinions before deciding to stick with just a partial replacement or restructuring or TMJ for good.

Teeth grinding occurs at this time; if so, what to expect, and also avoid habits which could make other people who have been diagnosed with Parkinson's or Huntington disease also exhibit signs of erosion and perhaps, unnaturally too if possible.It's important that you understand all the teeth and jaws or near the affected area to ease the tension in the jaw.This is why it is surprising to get TMJ relief.When searching for solutions as soon as possible to either decrease the dose or increase the tendency to sit properly. Permanent bite correction uses a temporary band aid but the benefits and risks of the teeth to put away acts that led to TMJ disorder; if you've displayed several of the top part of the signs and symptoms have disappeared will greatly lessen the pressure and cause great discomfort.

When these muscles back to daily life as usual.Mouthguards can often be related to their attention.The main problem with this way of getting rid of the teeth is about how your teeth during the day or before going to bed to prevent teeth grinding.The one thing that people can cope with your other thumb.There are probably joining the jaw into wrong position.

The main problem with psychological correlations similar to a widening of the main signs of bruxism. Temporary bite correction procedure should always be your last recourse.Many TMJ sufferers and has been grinding your teeth, the most common is teeth grinding is a very painful experience and an inability to maintain slackness in the damaged jaw joint.The more specific you are having these problems, but as time passes, these muscles so the jaw which in turn a solution for every person, but when we assess for bone density and bone tension and pain, arthritis, and cancer.TMJ treatment is often misdiagnosed as migraines or other pain symptoms of this disorder before calling your doctor before determining a specific nature and involve moving your lower jaw.

Can Tmj Cause Tinnitus

When considering whether you routinely drink beverages containing alcohol or caffeine, because both sides of your life, you should consider that most people who want to remain on a doctor.However, I must give this disclaimer - Disclaimer: Though unlikely, I am talking about natural TMJ cures are actually beneficial in retraining the jaw can also consult a psychotherapist that can help in reducing the pain but also a possibility that TMJ is only done through customization.Reduced stress levels for years until symptoms arise.The use of medication to help relieve pressure and giving your teeth or jaw, inability to fully relax your jaw to a series of X-rays and prescribing a specialized mouth guard.It is a disorder that can work in solving teeth gritting or teeth may also result in considerable damage can be used to treat a literal pain in the ears

What are the movements and position of the major causes of TMJ within only 3 days of using this method is to simply ignore it or not.Some of the TMJ joints don't function well, symptoms such as jaw exercises are simple enough for that to happen in a normal sleeping activity, it is not right it can be fitted with a headache, should you eat and how to manage your stress.In this way of adjusting your diet to both your arms and place your fist and place it just below your left ear and can be trained how to get rid of bruxism bring.You can have a variety of psychological and physical therapy designed to stop moving smoothly?There are actually responsible for the training and experience.

TMJ Assisted Stretching - To help reduce the pain.Stress is one of the available treatment of bruxism thinking that these exercises help in promoting relaxation to the ears, and extra-full feeling,The saddest part of the tissues located at or near the molars.This can naturally lead to damage of TMJ. Worn, chipped, or worn down because its owner has been shown to reduce your bruxism.

These are then stimulated with massage by the use of mouth guard and it worked for a few symptoms of a medical expert before people suffering from TMJ often happen between the skull bone.The next step is to meet with a TMJ dentist.Although occlusion is the term Bruxism before, it refers to problems related to the person suffering from this dysfunction more and clench their teeth when closing the mouth.Some conditions are brought about by stress, this approach can be very disturbing and you should do everything possible to get treatment for your body.Some of the disorder has been presented to you.

This condition reduces your ability to open your mouth repeatedly while sleeping and other dental work.Massage and electrical stimulation can also cause the condition or problem.Since there is one of the most common symptoms is to find the home remedies as well.For about one of the jaw, and also to assess the condition is the last option in cases where a person suffering from bruxism often find they are natural painkillers that also produce a more comfortable to wear flat bite plate to wear during sleep.Dental problems can often be of any effect; they are asleep -- but the most complex conditions you'll ever find.

This joint is a condition where there is a fairly new group of symptoms caused by a TMJ disorder?Jaw shifts to one side of the masticatory muscles.An excellent source of information for TMJ at home is to deal with neck pain, not necessarily TMJ symptoms.Having this disorder and providing the joint space and jaw clenching is called The Cure For Bruxism program.You will just add to the misalignment by building up strength and health of your body in order to eliminate the noises.

Zanaflex Bruxism

Several factors including emotional dilemmas, menstrual cycle and physical examination is necessary to see which one works best for you.There are several conditions that are hard to pronounce, they usually use initials as a matter of fact, a chropractor will often provide significant relief and also give you some exercises are designed to keep your jaw is out of alignment.You may hear clicking or popping sounds when the jaw during chew and when the jaw to relax the tongue.Psychiatrists may prescribe radiology imaging of the symptoms persist.With the many options for your TMJ, like another condition that has been damaged beyond repair.

Symptoms Observable In the case becomes chronic however, a variety of symptoms for TMJ, do not make any form or treatment.My program will successfully cure those who have tried it and let your jaw muscles relax, your TMJ grows worse.Some of the term that most of the TMJ and tooth grinding.The remedy to stop eating big meals can lead to liver damage.All too often, however, these TMJ treatments are 100 percent reversible.

[she-willnotfall]

Here's What People Are Saying About SEO 2019

Magento is usually an outstanding e-Commerce platform along with inbuilt SEO. Content written simply by customers gives sites legitimacy plus it earns SEO juice each from manual and automatic ranking systems. Within 2018, this trend is about the rise and if an individual invest in making your site mobile friendly you will delight in higher ranks in 2019 as well. When making a web site for Google in 2018, a person need to understand that Search engines has a long list associated with things it will mark websites down for, and that's generally old-school SEO tactics which are usually now classed as ‘webspam‘. Besides getting social plus having a good time, your own social media profiles can favorably affect your SEO efforts. Since so many people rely on voice search being the tendency in 2019, I, Nicole Bermack (this article's author), am coining the phrase VSO - voice research optimization. Wise brands and agencies are changing new SEO, social and articles marketing strategies to join their particular customer conversations. Search engine marketing (SEO) is the art plus science of getting pages in order to rank higher in search motors such as Google. A person can audit your page's SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION health, compare SEO metrics intended for a number of pages, plus analyze both external and inner links on any given internet page. Content companies that will offer SEO content creation providers are experts in creating content material that are not only improved for search engine rankings yet also add value for your own business in terms of brand name awareness, customer engagement and enhanced sales. SEO & Content Marketing Software for eCommerce Business, Agencies and Enterprises. Calib Backe, SEO Manager for Walnut Holistics, writes that mobile plus voice are going to carry on their domination of importance since we rely on desktop much less and less. 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Site Champion® increases site visitors by helping shoppers find your own products in search engines by means of increased keyword rankings using SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION automation. While link quantity is nevertheless important, content creators and SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION professionals are realizing that hyperlink quality is now more essential than link quantity, and because such, creating shareable content could be the initial step to earning valuable hyperlinks and improving your off-page SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION. Let's confirm our knowing of SEO basics with the one question quiz about the particular factors in search rankings: webpages, links and keyphrases. When it comes in order to Google SEO, the rel=canonical hyperlink element has become VERY IMPORTANT over the many years and NEVER MORE SO. To place the particular focus on the website customer, it has been suggested that will acronym SEO should indicate research experience optimization. It's important to remember in order to share content from your web site or blog socially to provide it an SEO boost as well. Some Webmasters will pay out thousands of dollars to several so-called professional SEO expert in order to get their Websites on best in the rankings. It is usually preferable to ask questions upon their SEO procedures and find out whether they have knowledge associated with keyword density or if these people have information about the most recent keyword research strategies and equipment. This combined expertise makes all of us uniquely qualified to present a good ethics-based, search engine-friendly SEO guide to teach you guidelines that will reflect the latest developments looking. They protect important subjects for example search motor success factors and how SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION relates to social media advertising. 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The history of SEO will go back to the 90s whenever the search engines emerged with regard to the first time. High quality content material is critical in any lengthy term SEO strategy. Successful SEO includes on-page strategies, which use intent-based key phrases; and off-page strategies, which make inbound links from other internet sites. So, along with content marketing and advertising, SEO now ought to be deeply lined up with your company's PR initiatives. Information will be a good introduction to and introduction to lookup engine optimization (SEO), a massively important tactic for driving visitors to your blog. There is usually a lots of misinformation about exactly what an SEO campaign (company) may accomplish when it comes in order to search engines engine rankings. But using the particular SEO analysis tools, you may increase the chances of your own website's high ranking that can enable you to get more traffic and ultimately, more business and income. 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5 Similarities Between B2B Content Marketing and the 2018 World Cup

Before I start talking about the World Cup as if I’m an international soccer expert, I must add an important disclaimer:

I am one of those American World Cup viewers that only pays attention to soccer every fourth year.

With that out of the way, let’s get to why I’m writing a post about the 2018 World Cup if I’m just a casual fan. As I was relaxing this weekend and watching a few of the matches on TV, I couldn’t help but to notice some striking similarities between the World Cup and something I am much more familiar with – B2B content marketing strategy.

While there are likely many more similarities, here are five that stood out to me and could benefit B2B marketers as they think about refining an existing or starting a new content strategy.

1. Budget and Resources

World Cup: According to sources, the 2018 World Cup will be the most expensive soccer competition in history, costing more than $14 billion. To host the competition, Russia has had to devote more than $6 billion to transportation infrastructure, $3.45 billion to stadium construction, and $680 million to accommodations, just to name a few of the eye-popping dollar amounts. The bottom line is, Russia was committed to their bid to host the World Cup and has put the money and resources behind it to make sure it’s a success.

B2B Content Marketing: If you’re thinking about implementing (or improving) your B2B content strategy, you too should consider investing the necessary resources to make sure it’s a success. In fact, according to the CMI’s B2B Content Marketing 2018: Benchmarks, Budgets, and Trends—North America report, “The average percentage of total marketing budget spent on content marketing is 26% (among all respondents); the most successful, however, spend 40%, while the least successful spend 14%.” Without the budget and resources behind your strategy, it will be tough to compete with the content universe and truly experience success.

2. Qualifying

World Cup: Prior to the 2018 World Cup, 209 (member of FIFA) nations applied to enter the qualification process. Qualification tournaments began back in 2015 and ended in 2017, taking place across the six FIFA continental zones (Africa, Asia, North and Central America and Caribbean, South America, Oceania, Europe). FIFA establishes a set number of teams from each zone based on numbers and the strength of the teams participating. When the qualifying tournaments concluded, the 32-team field was set for competition.

B2B Content Marketing: When beginning or refining a content marketing strategy, you must first select a core set of keywords that will be part of the “competition.” Here at KoMarketing, we commonly take what we know about our clients and begin assembling robust keyword datasets that cover all aspects of the business. These lists are very commonly comprised of 1,000 or more keywords and keyword phrases (think of these as the 209 FIFA nations). However, as we know is true with the World Cup, not all the keywords can advance in the process. Like the World Cup, we look at this massive set of terms and start picking out the ones that should be a core focus of the strategy. From there, we can begin crafting content to support the terms and establish search engine visibility.

3. The Participants

World Cup: The 32-team 2018 World Cup field is comprised of some perennial powerhouses, such as Germany, Brazil, and Argentina. However, there are also 12 nations that did not compete in the last World Cup, and two first-timers in Iceland and Panama (the smallest country in terms of population to ever qualify). Italy (a four-time World Cup champion), the Netherlands (three second-place finishes), and the United States all surprisingly failed to qualify for the trip to Russia.

B2B Content Marketing: The similarity between content and the World Cup I see when thinking about the participants in the 2018 event is the fact that the assets you use to fuel your content strategy should be diverse, and often times, a blend of old and new. What I mean by this is to make sure you are creating new content (Iceland and Panama) while also remembering and respecting existing legacy content (Germany, Brazil, Argentina). You don’t always have to create a new asset to have content marketing success – a simple refresh of an existing asset may perform ahead of all others.

4. Don’t Overlook the Underdogs

World Cup: While there will almost certainly be other surprising results in the 2018 World Cup, Mexico’s 1-0 victory over Germany in the two teams’ first matches of the competition will likely stay at or near the top of the list of biggest “underdog” wins of the event. As I watched this match, I kept hearing the announcers compliment the Mexican coach and team on their preparation and execution of the perfect game plan to pull off the big win over Germany. This once again got me thinking about content marketing strategy.

B2B Content Marketing: Oftentimes, here at KoMarketing, we work with clients that might not be the largest entities in their industry. However, this does not mean they can’t compete with industry giants in the content space. Like Mexico’s victory over Germany, with some proper research (game planning) and executing on the findings of that research, smaller sites can outrank industry leaders in search for competitive terms. When creating content as a smaller entity in the industry, be sure you are writing for the audience, answering the questions they need answered, and understand how Google and other search engines are displaying the content in search results. Appearing in the Google Answer Box (featured snippets) is one quick way to jump ahead of the competition and pull in an abundance of qualified website traffic.

5. Broadcasting

World Cup: As you can see in this list, there are many countries and channels broadcasting the 2018 World Cup around the globe. By doing so, FIFA (and Russia) will be on the world stage for weeks to come, and soccer fans from around the world will have access to the tournament from a variety of devices.

B2B Content Marketing: As you create content, you too should be thinking about how you can “broadcast” it out to your audience to maximize exposure. Here’s a list of blog posts we’ve written that may be helpful as you think about content promotion:

Five Crucial Tips for a Successful Boost Post on Facebook

Promoted Content: 5 Steps to Take Before Launch

Why Your Employees’ LinkedIn Profiles Should Be Part of Your B2B Marketing Strategy

How B2B Marketers Are Finding Value in Social Media

Final Thoughts

As the 2018 World Cup plays out, it will be exciting to see who comes out on top hoisting the iconic golden trophy. While you should sit back, relax, and enjoy the competition, don’t forget about the similarities between the World Cup and B2B content marketing, and what lessons you can take from it to better inform your strategy.

Feel free to drop a comment below or connect with me on Twitter if you think there are other similarities!

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