#and he might then feel like he fits in and is popular in that route

[muu-kun]

Mental Health Masterpost Blurb: Counting / Number Association Defined Through Prior Compulsive Behaviors

Being that it has been a hot minute since a deep dive headcanon has been posted, I figured it was about time I got to discussing some of what I've been meaning to for some time. This go around will be on the topics above. Which, as with prior posts regarding mental health, the disclaimer that icky subjects such as abuse and assault are likely to be mentioned at some point below. In addition to such a warning, I also want to remind the masses that I am not an expert on this subject as I myself do Not have OCD. Therefore if you ever see something worth correcting, please bring it to my attention. I'd genuinely appreciate being able to fix something than let it misinformation fester longer than at all necessary.

How is a compulsive behavior defined and in what context is counting one of them?

Compulsive behaviors include thoughts, urges, and/or behaviors that persist despite their negative impact over health, jobs, or relationships. Compulsions as is specifically, however, are repetitive behaviors or thoughts that a person uses with the intention of neutralizing, counteracting, or making their obsessions go away. Something to keep in mind is that, in most cases, individuals with OCD feel driven to engage in compulsive behavior and would rather not have to do these time-consuming and often torturous acts. Frankly, people with OCD perform compulsions because they believe these rituals are necessary to prevent negative consequences and/or to escape or reduce anxiety or the presence of obsessions.

Of the many compulsions seen throughout the various sections withing Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, one that had prior been depicted by Muu in his adolescence before trailing off in early adulthood was that of assigning numbers to two specific activities: speaking and shouting for help.

For speaking, the expectation was to limit his phrases to two word increments to greatly reduce the likelihood of harm through chatting his way into revealing that he was annoying, or weird on top of already carrying the label of dunce by his peers. Proper nouns were never included in his two word limitations for reasons of their own, but to add more logic in the uniqueness of how he carried himself in his youth is beyond him as he has yet to discover why two became the be all instead of none, one, or even three.

Especially considering the fact three became the chosen criteria for another habit in particular; however, that one he can explain quite easily as it was an act he picked up from the assurance of an male friend who'd sworn to him as a teenager that all he'd have needed to do in times of danger is call out their name three times, and they'd save him. It never would prove true, yet the amount of times he has tried it just in case-- as well as go on to list the names of others close to him in case they instead had a superpower making them capable of hearing him miles away-- is entirely immeasurable. Even a decade later, he'd probably give it a try for old times sake just in case his umpteenth time trying was just the right one he needed to make after all.

Examples for both behaviors is included below.

Common phrases to be heard when he used to only speak in two word increments, or ones that would be used just as is since he's often strongly contemplated going back to such a pattern of communication for some time now:

"Play with Muu-kun?"

"You carry Muu-kun?"

"Making mad!!"

"So hungry.."

Whereas his rule of three is mainly as follows for what order he calls out specific names is can be most comparable to this:

Veena, the person go tell him of such a habit needing to be done in the first place.

His older brother, Matthew. The first person to really be his protector in life, so of course he must notably wants his comforting before someone else's should he have a choice.

Whoever is his romantic partner at any given time usually lands at this mark.

His primary best friend

Following close companions

Friends of his, but more specifically those with either a legitimate age difference over him, or instead are significantly wise for their age by being thought of as caretakers by himself truly

General acquaintances that are actively present in his life

Past friends and acquaintances that he misses. They may not have a current space in their life for him to reside in, and yet he still beckons their name out into the universe just in case doing so is the remedy for not only being rescued by them in the moment, but also to have them around as his friend from there on out. There are sadly a lot of names placed upon this section of the list. Every one of which he misses so much no matter how many days mark their separation.

[sakura-rose12]

Would Law feel comfortable taking a bath completely naked with his Crew?

There can be three ways to go with this

- I've read fanfics where Law has a personal bath and washroom attached to his Captain quarters on the Tang, which tends to lead to him preferring solitude baths. Especially if we go with the way he acts when people get too close in his personal bubble. Shachi, Penguin and Bepo might be the only ones exempt from this.

- You can go the realistic route. Being a submarine, they wouldn't necessarily have baths but shared shower cubicles instead. At this point I'd say he's fine bathing with others there since they have their own little showers. Might be better for his DF weakness too rather than submerging in bath water.

- One Piece logic where there is a huge fudging bath like on the Thousand Sunny. This is likely as Jean Bart needs to fit in the room. Law would probably take the bath in less popular hours, it's probably absolute chaos with the crew in there. Law gets splashed a lot lol. Law needs a buddy so he doesn't drown.

[masiethewriter]

Honored Eternal Path of Demise CH. 1 -Game Over

It's bad enough that Shen Yuan dies. It's even worse when he transmigrates into the worst horror game inspired by Proud Immortal Demon Way that could ever be imagined. But nothing is more terrible than transmigrating as the scum villain Shen Qingqiu, the character with the most violent and grotesque deaths the game has to offer! Couldn't he have transmigrated into the stallion novel instead? At least there his character would only die once! Now Shen Yuan has to navigate his new life as Shen Qingqiu while trying to keep not only himself alive, but also a cast of characters, each more suicidal than the next. A goal he is going to fail. A lot. Many times. Too many times! At least he can spend some time with his favorite character Lou Binghe while stuck in this mess.

Next Chapter

"Stupid developers, stupid game!" was Shen Yuan's final words as darkness overtook everything around him.

He hadn't meant to die right after reaching the secret ending of Honored Eternal Path of Demise, the new horror game based on the popular novel Proud Immortal Demon Way. But after spending hours upon hours, days upon days, with barely any sleep or food, and finally painstakingly saving every character (Even the evil scum villain Shen Qingqiu), to see the secret final ending of the game end ambiguously as a sequel teaser, it was too much for Shen Yuan.

After beating the last boss, the cutscene allowed him enough of a break to take a bite of a meat bun, only for the ending sending him into such a fit of rage, that the food got caught in his throat. Unable to cough it out, he was only able to curse out the game as he choked to death.

And like that, Shen Yuan had died.

It might not have been as bad, if at least he died criticizing a better game, but as it were, Honored Eternal Path of Demise just barely managed to sell enough copies to not be considered an absolute failure.

Now, don't get Shen Yuan wrong. When the game had just been announced, the excitement for it had been great. One of the most popular stallion novels being turned into a game! Even Shen Yuan had been interested.

While exactly what kind of game it would be had yet to be revealed, fans were quick to speculate and theorize. Most looked forward to getting to play as Luo Binghe, many discussing which of his wifes would make it into the game and how many romances that would be added. Whether it would be more like a visual novel, focused on the story and relationships or an action game where players truly could feel out the protagonist's OP powers.

Not too long after, it was revealed the game was going to be a horror game. And with that announcement, the excitement only grew. The novel was known for its harsh opening and cruel blackening, so choosing a genre that allowed the project to stay dark and explicit made sense.

Though that was one of the last smart decisions that would be coming from the development team from then on.

Somehow leaks got out and while it was mostly concept art of the characters and potential wifes, it got revealed that Luo Binghe was NOT going to be a playable character.

Fans were quick to get in an uproar, displeased with not being able to play as the overpowered protagonist. Why even make a game about Luo Binghe if no one got to play as him? What were the developers thinking!

This was just the first reveal of many that would leave fans raging on forums and social media.

Next was the reveal that the game was dropping the cultivation aspect and was instead going for a modern retelling. Also, instead of the more edgy, but beloved blackened Luo Binghe, they took the more heroic route, so he resembled himself much more from before he was pushed into The Endless Abyss.

At this point fans begin to question why even make a game based on Proud Immortal Demon Way if they were going to change all aspects of it? If the development team wanted to make an original story, they should make an original story, instead of capitalizing the novel IP for cheap advertisement.

Then, as the full cast were revealed, the more feminist fans began to riot.

The first version included Luo Binghe as the only male character, the rest being either wifes from the novel or original female characters made for the game. "What is this?!" They protested. "Is this a horror game or a harem simulator! Just another excuse to make vulnerable women suffer for the sake of a man?" And while this backlash was nowhere near as aggressive as when it was revealed Luo Binghe would stay an NPC, the developers still rushed to produce an updated cast with an almost equal amount of male and female characters.

"See, we can listen and change depending on the needs of the fans!" They said.

"What about everything else?!" The fans replied.

"..." The developers stayed quiet.

The rest of the production stayed like this. Any time more of the game was revealed, fans only got angrier and more disappointed. The stress and pressure was enough that people on the development team kept getting switched out, people quitting because of the crunch, resulting in new hires barely getting integrated into the team, before they were also loaded with a mountain of work. A scandal broke out with someone not getting properly credited and accusations of art assets stolen from fans. It was even revealed a few developers hadn't been paid in months, paychecks apparently getting lost in the chaos.

Then production got delayed because of IP issues and for a while the game appeared as if it would never happen. A destructive production, made mostly with sweat, blood and tears, leaving nothing but gossip and slander in its wake.

And then the game was announced to release a month from then.

Of course, as Proud Immortal Demon Way's biggest critic, Shen Yuan had to try out the game. So he reserved the special edition (That of course included a copy of the art book, a CD with the soundtrack and an unique poster for the game, impossible to get anywhere else) and was the first in line to collect the game when it was released.

Now unlike everyone else, Shen Yuan actually understood why the game developers had made the decisions they had. Unlike the fans who were blinded by their parasocial relationship to characters that were never going to fuck them, Shen Yuan was able to look past the seemingly thoughtless decisions and see the true politics at play.

First of all, of course players could not play as Luo Binghe. The OP stallion protagonist who never lost a single battle or chance for papapa with a woman? Of course they couldn't let the players grubby hands all over the Luo Binghe image, potentially failing puzzles and quests while carrying his face! And who knows what the trolls would do with a Binghe character? Certainly not anything the developers were going to risk. So, of course Luo Binghe was going to stay an NPC that would support the player without ever failing in his own goals.

Also, it made sense for them to use the more innocent white sheep Luo Binghe even though the darkened demon lord version was more popular. He couldn't exactly be the villain of the game, right? The IP would never allow it! So instead, with the storyline the team were aiming for, they needed Luo Binghe as his more heroic and kind self.

The choice to modernize the story was probably just laziness though. The developers likely didn't want to do any research for Proud Immortal Demon Way's time period or cultivation. So they just took the easy way out. Bastards.

Updating the cast to be more balanced gender wise, was a decision Shen Yuan had felt more neutral on. While most fans were discussing wifes and potential for spicy papapa, Shen Yuan had been glad the game included beloved characters that weren't going to end with their legs spread for Luo Binghe.

Seeing some of the other peak lords presented as modern characters was intriguing and Shen Yuan had been looking forward to learning more about them in this other world. Even the Scum Villain, though mostly as an opportunity to hopefully see him die in a variety of horrible and creative ways.

So as Shen Yuan began playing Honored Eternal Path of Demise, he did not let any of the prior issues affect his view of the game. None of the decisions, scandals or slander was going to make him play with the expectation that he was going to hate it.

No, the horrible story and awful execution were able to do that all by itself.

First of all, the story was a confusing mess, with more plot holes than plot. At first it might seem intriguing, with the way each character had multiple deaths that each affected the story in their own unique way, leading to a vast variety of different endings. One of the main game mechanics was a groundhog-day-esque saving system. Each time you died you would have to start over, but the knowledge gained from the prior playthrough could be used to affect the story, leading it to split into multiple directions. Each death was a learning opportunity and dying was going to happen a lot. The game was such a challenge that Shen Yuan was unable to save a single character in his first many playthroughs, Luo Binghe being the only survivor each time.

Characters would reset after each ending, though with the occasional 4th wall break joke, related to sudden weird ass decisions, usually only making sense in the context of what had happened in the prior session.

But while the death and restarting mechanic was fun enough, they never tried to explain how it worked in universe! The characters just found themselves in a strange haunted house and at no point did the game bother explaining how they got there, who took them, what was going on or why they all had to survive!

And what was going on was such a mess by itself. Unable to put a single original thought into the game, the game developers had instead just stolen whatever they wanted from other, more popular, horror games. In one playthrough the villain you had to survive might be a deranged serial killer. In another it was zombies eating them all alive. Then you had eldritch beings summoned by cultists turning them all insane. Sometimes it would be the characters themselves, having turned crazy from all the terror and death. The game would go from one horror monster scenario to the next with no explanation for how any of it was connected.

Even the puzzles were clearly taken from other games, with fetch quests happening so many times it was a wonder that the characters themselves didn't get tired of it.

And don't even let Shen Yuan get started on the characters! One-dimensional stereotypical clichés with not a single functioning brain cell between them! It was physically painful just how stupid every single female character was, constantly making decisions that no real life person would make while in their right mind. And while feminist fans might brag that they had influenced the game development, they would find themselves disappointed when realizing that not a single female character could even pass the Bechdel test. Even in the most insane ass situations, when they would find themselves at death's door, they would whine and sigh about Luo Binghe and how they wished he was there with them or that they just wanted to see him one last time.

Forcing the female cast into a functional death-avoiding group in order to reach the secret ending had literally brought Shen Yuan to tears with how impossible a task it was.

The male cast was slightly easier, but solely because they got much less screen time and deaths dedicated to them.

While there was a seemingly endless amount of endings, Only some led to true progress in the game. Say, once you reached the Serial Killer ending with enough surviving characters, then during your next playthrough a new mystery and monster would appear. This would keep the game going with no end in sight until finally the player was able to reach the good ending - An ending only archivable by saving all characters with the exception of Shen Qingqiu. This ending was considered The Good Ending because it was the only one where the cast managed to leave the mansion and return to their normal, but traumatized, lives.

But of course, which horror game could call itself a classic without secrets? And one of those secrets was the secret ending of course.

After thousands of playthroughs, it seemed like Shen Qingqiu was impossible to save. While all characters (With the exception of Luo Binghe) could very easily get killed, Shen Qinqiu appeared to attract death like it was an obsessed lover. As the character that players got to play as the least, how easy it was to fuck him over would make you insane.

The way to save him didn't even happen during his own scenes. No, instead it was while controlling another character that you had to keep him from betraying anyone else. This resulted in Shen Qingque not even being playable during that run. Only like this was it possible to keep him alive with everyone else and in that way, finally reach the secret and true ending...

An ending so horrible, so excruciating, so absolutely pointless it wasn't worth describing. So awful and horrendous that it ended up killing Shen Yuan.

And so, Shen Yuan died. Alone in his apartment. Honored Eternal Path of Demise still playing on his screen. A meat bun stuck in his throat. A rage that could burn down the world. And as darkness took over, he could only wish that he had never wasted the last days of his pitiful life on such a terrible game.

Floating darkness scraping against his skin. Nothing to see or hear, space going endlessly. Shen Yuan had awareness, but what he was aware of, he did not know. Drifting like this, he could only wonder where he was.

Suddenly a light. Big and square and white and so strong he had to close his eyes. Somehow he wasn't able to lift his hands to provide protection.

Slowly able to squint at the light, he could barely make up black lines across it. He felt like it should hurt and leave his eyes with tears, but they stayed dry. No feeling of pain.

Opening them for a better peek, he could finally recognize the lines as letters. And still remembering how to understand written word, he was able to read what it said:

[ALL PATHS DIVERGES MISFORTUNE]

[MISFORTUNE SHATTER STORIES]

[ONE STORY ABOVE LIFE]

[LIFE GIVEN TO REST]

[REST IS THE END]

[Does user accept the quest?]

[Yes] [No]

Throat tight and hurting, unable to get above a whisper, and still Shen Yuan did not hesitate to speak.

"Yes!"

With a start, Shen Yuan opens his eyes, urgently sitting up. He gasps for breath, a hand against his neck as he looks around at the unrecognizable walls around him.

Unable to take in anything around him, he pushes himself to his feet. He is immediately unsteady as he reaches out for anything to keep his balance. He finds a moldy table, legs broken in one end, as he leans against what still stands.

Things are the slightest bit blurry around him and he instinctively pushes against his face to correct his glasses, only for his finger to meet nothing. As he takes a step, the sound of broken glass underneath his feet tells him of their fate.

"What the fuck?" Shen Yuan asks out loud. No one answers him.

Less dizzy, he pushes himself forward until he stumbles against a door. He quickly pushes it open. The other side provides no answers. An empty hallway going as far as his eyes can see.

Or mostly empty.

At the end stands a shadow. And even with his blurry eyesight, Shen Yuan can see that it is going directly towards him.

Leaning against the wall, as it gets closer, he is able to recognize it as a person. A girl, if the short height and lithe body is anything to go by. As she gets closer, he is able to distinguish dark hair pulled into pigtails and what must be a school uniform. She holds something in her hand and something dark is splattered against the front. Shen Yuan can't discern what either is.

At no point does she slow down her march towards him.

"Hey, do you know what is happe-" he tries, but she interrupts him, voice full of rage.

"Shen Qingque, you son of a bitch!"

She is clearly talking to him, but must have him confused with someone else. He is about to explain, when he takes an extra look at her hands. Way too late he recognizes the item she's holding as a knife. Sharp edges shiny enough to reflect the poor light of the corridor. He barely takes a shaky step back before she lifts it high above her head. Intent clear.

"This is for what you did to Liu Mingyan!" She screams.

The knife sails down. Stumbling over his own legs to get away, he falls on his back. The girl uses this as her chance. Throwing herself on top of him, he is able to see more of her face. Tears are streaming from burning eyes, lips twisted into an ugly sneer. What must be blood splatter is smeared across her face, dry and crusting.

He has no idea who she is. She clearly believes otherwise.

She howls. Plunges the knife down. With nowhere to go, it goes straight in his chest.

Shen Yuan gasps, experiencing an unimaginable pain. His heart tries to beat out of his ribcage. His limbs are frozen. Blood rushes in his ears. And out his chest.

She yanks the knife out. She is speaking, but Shen Yuan can't hear what she is saying. Instead his eyes are caught on the knife above him. Again it falls. Again it hits its mark. Shen Yuan spits out a mouthful of blood, gurgling on the thick liquid. His chest burns while the tip of his fingers begin to feel cold.

She pulls out the knife and prepares to swing a third time. Finally Shen Yuan manages to get his arms to cooperate. Covering himself, he tries to block the next hit.

It is a futile act. Shen Yuan knows it is already too late to save himself.

Piercing vulnerable skin, the sharp edges still reach the shredded meat his chest has become. Only this time the knife doesn't go as deep. It stays inside him a bit longer than the other times. Manic glee in her face as she takes this opportunity to twist it around, screwing it deeper, forcing him to scream.

He can't hear what sounds he makes, as blood fills his lungs. He is unable to breathe. Turning him into gory mesh entertains her for a bit, before she rips the knife out.

It is as she prepares to stab him a fourth time, that she suddenly freezes. Her eyes caught on something behind him. Shen Yuan can only see red at his edges, as he weakly gasps for air. Her mouth moves, voice suddenly soft. Expression frail and vulnerable. A contrast to the madness spilling out into puddles.

Like this, as darkness overtakes everything around him, Shen Yuan is only able to wheeze out a final: "Stupid developers, stupid game!"

[frozenrose20]

Ways I think JL members could be introduced/referenced in season three.

Personally I think this one would be the most likely because he's big in popularity and isn't overdone like batman. Barry Allen's Flash, I also feel like his personality would fit the show the best and would compliment their version of Clark very well. I think for him there would be two options one instead of having him in the show directly they have Iris come for an episode to be a rival interviewer to Lois much like Vicki Vale and during some scene in the episode she mentions her boyfriend AKA Barry, or Barry actually comes with her to Metropolis and the episode is Barry and Clark trying to hide their powers from each other and being dorks while their girlfriends compete to be the better journalist.

The second most likely just because he is who he is, is Batman let's be real there's many ways he could be referenced or just put in there

Next is a Wonder Woman where I think they could have a fun little episode of either Vicky or Cat challenging lois to interview her. not as Wonder Woman but as either an ambassador or Museum archivist whichever route they go for Diana. they might not even show her but might just reference it as a reason why Lois isn't in an episode

I'm not too sure if the Green Lanterns do exist because of the scenes with Brainiac so if we don't get him as a Green Lantern they could have Hal Jordan be the pilot that replaces Hank Henshaw since he "died" or at least they could just reference him as a viable possibility but say he's mia (taken by the ring to train if they are still around.)

Martian Manhunter could be in the show already and we just never know so I'll be putting him on my list but I wouldn't be surprised that if he ever does appear he'll just be an already existing character and it's just a big reveal that he's been Martian Manhunter this whole time.

I think the two that are least likely would be Aquaman and Shazam as they already have kid characters so they might not want to have Shazam to make it seem like there's too many kid characters and Aquaman just doesn't appear in Superman media as much

Another fun possibility to introduce several of the Richer characters could be an episode focused on Lex and Slade running Lex Corp where Lex just has meetings with other billionaires and Tech groups (Oliver Queen, Bruce Wayne, Carol Ferris, Ted Cord, Maxwell lord and Mr.Terrific all being people Lex could meet with) in hopes to gain their favor that way he becomes global rather than just stationed in Metropolis. The writers could even have a throw away conversation between Slade and oliver/bruce as foreshadowing for their Dynamics in the future.

[digisurvive]

The partnerships of Digimon Survive, part I

A little while ago, a friend sent me this post talking about what the partnerships in the adventure-02 verse reveal about the kids' character and asked me if I'd be interested in writing something like it for Survive. I happily obliged, and this is part one on the subject (as of right now, it's about 60% done and it's at 6432 words, so in the interest of keeping the post readable...)

Spoilers for everything.

CW: Child abuse, since this part contains Shuuji's section.

As explained in this interview on 4gamer, for Digimon Survive, the staff drew from Digimon lore established in Adventure— namely that the partner digimon are “spiritual beings” who are the kids’ one and only partners, part of the kids' own being and responsive to their growth. Generally speaking, Habu and the staff decided on the human characters’ background first and then picked a digimon that fit them so that there would be synergy between their behavior, general storyline and the partnermon’s personality and evolution paths. The one exception to this process being the main character himself, Takuma.

Takuma and Agumon

As revealed in that same interview, Takuma’s partner is Agumon because Agumon is a popular digimon that most fans will accept (60% of players answered they wanted Agumon as a partner in the player survey they conducted asking “Which Digimon would like as a partner?”). Thanks to this popularity, Agumon has a lot of possible evolution paths established that can show the range of the different routes and reflect on Takuma’s status as player character, which makes his behavior flexible and respondent on the player’s decisions. However, it’s also thanks to Agumon being the franchise’s mascot that he’s also got a fairly well defined personality, and Takuma himself is consistently characterized despite his main-character condition.

Generally speaking, Agumon is mostly portrayed as an easy-going and straightforward digimon who wears his heart on his sleeve and is adept at following his instincts into battle. He’s often seen acting on noble and heroic impulses, which might seem to contrast him to Takuma. After all, Takuma is a bit of a wimpy kid who’s constantly fearful during his stay in the kemonogami world; which is quite apparent the moment they meet: even though Koromon is a baby— and thusly exhibits a healthy amount of caution in approaching Takuma— he’s still the one to approach him, much to Takuma’s dismay. This open courage is reinforced through the fact Koromon jumps to the task of protecting Takuma against Gotsumon, despite being very obviously weak.

The apparent gap between the two continues through the game: where Agumon will freely admit his emotions and general ignorance, Takuma appears more withdrawn and thoughtful, always weighing what would be the best thing to say and how the others might react or be feeling. Let’s not forget, however, that the partermon acting as mirrors to the kids might mean that either they’re showing an aspect to their hearts that is not as easily accessible/obvious or show the areas where they have to grow. Both of these aspects are true for Takuma, as he does grow to be braver and willing to face the challenges the world throws at them — this is especially apparent during the ultimate evolution scene for the Truthful route, where he boldly proclaims their desire to fight and save the kemonogami world. Additionally, Agumon has been portrayed as someone with great emotional insight before, which does fit Takuma to a tee. Takuma’s inner monologue evidences how in touch he is with his own emotions and how adept he is at imagining how others must be feeling. Therefore, Takuma’s deeply emotive nature not only shows in his fear-induced paralysis but in his primary function in the group as their caretaker. He looks after the others because he is quite sociable and reasons primarily through emotion, much like Agumon. He doesn’t really investigate the nature of the world intellectually like Shuuji does, nor gets bogged down about fulfilling his duties the way Aoi does, but acts based on his instincts. 

Furthermore, Takuma is usually shown unable to propose pragmatic plans, doing better at listening to the others and weighing in based on the mood of the group— this matches Agumon’s own obliviousness and inexperience about the world as well as his naivety. Because Takuma isn’t prone to thinking logically, he often fails to plan ahead and usually only faces things as they come. His go-with-the-flow attitude is best observed during the prologue, and it’s this flexible demeanor what allows him to get along with just about anyone. This can also make him quite naive, as it’s shown when he’s on the fence about believing the Mysterious Woman, unlike the harsh paranoia Kaito exhibits or the reticence from his seniors. 

Because Agumon and Takuma are actually so like-minded, Takuma is able to rely on Agumon to sort out his feelings and worries, as seen in the way he asks Agumon for advice in the same way the others do of him. Agumon is able to service him with the unwavering, comforting support Takuma needed to be able to step out of his comfort zone and become bolder. Their philosophical talks show that Takuma is also able to question how to best approach others and his own morality through their partnership (and denying their bond leads Takuma to his most morally bankrupt during the Bad Ending). They’re so in-tune with each other that they’re one of the few pairs that don’t fight during part 6.

Aoi and Labramon

Labramon’s introduction is likely one of Survive’s most comedic bits. Where Aoi shows herself gentle and worried over Minoru’s well-being, Labramon is harsh and downright crude to him. They might be one of the pairs that feel the most “mismatched”, given the fact that Aoi’s speech remains ever polite and friendly contrasts to Labramon not being afraid of speaking rudely and bluntly to others. This gap in speech is subtly bridged in part 5, when we find Aoi’s CD. She talks about liking old rock songs and relays her favorite lyrics to Takuma:

自分の決めた道を行け 邪魔する奴らを蹴散らして

The lyrics feature aggressive and colloquial speech, from the scornful third-person pronoun 奴ら and the quite informally contracted verb form. It’s quite telling it’s a lyric about following one’s path and crushing whoever opposes it. The sentiment and speech feel quite fitting for Labramon, and thus, we’re clued in that her waspish demeanor is a reflection of Aoi’s well-hidden and repressed resentments. Arguably, it’s because Aoi is so reluctant to show her anger or grievances that they fester and Labramon shows them disproportionately. Once she starts becoming more assertive, Labramon earnestly starts showing other of her emotions— as seen in the affinity dialogue in Truthful’s part 10, when the group is saying their goodbyes to depart the amusement park, Labramon wants to relay Aoi’s honest concern for its denizens directly to them. This push for Aoi to express herself openly it's a recurring theme through the talks between them. Additionally, Labramon is more openly meddlesome, affectionate and prideful, which shows the range of emotions Aoi keeps under wraps.

The CD scene is not the only case where their energies match, as we get to see when Aoi gets heated and quells Shuuji and Kaito during their fight in part 4 (and later again, with Kaito, when she wants to handle the toddler digimon at the park). This is also shown when she ardently jumps to Saki's defense against the fake Floramon in part 5. Despite her seemingly docile persona, Aoi is actually quite passionate. This is something we will see expressed more intentionally and consistently (as opposed to her early outbursts) when she grows to embrace this side of herself and her position as their leader, particularly during the Moral Route (Wrathful shows a warped expression of this development since she's not only at her most destructive and wanton— she’s also the least honest she’s ever been: hiding behind machinations, deceit and passive aggression and doggedly maintaining her outer politeness).

Aside from reflecting her desire for aggression and true emotions, Labramon and her evo line also fit to a tee Aoi’s devoted sense of duty. From Labramon’s official profile,we can glean she’s a digimon with a duty. Being an artificial digimon means she was specifically created to fulfill a function, which is further cemented by the fact she’s a literal living vaccine program. Her only skill movement in-game being Cure Liqueur fits Aoi’s own first-aid skills, which are promptly demonstrated when she patches Labramon up in part 1. Dobermon takes this a step further being a digimon whose only purpose is to hunt viruses. This adult stage marks the start of a consistent theme in the evo line about harnessing monstrous power in order to fulfill one’s duties, much like Aoi needs to embrace assertiveness and authority to be able to properly respond to the situations before her and achieve her goals. This is made as textually explicit as it can be during the Cerberumon evo scene, where they remark upon the ferocious shape Aoi’s desires took in this perfect stage, and she openly admits her desire for power— power as having the agency, authority and self-confidence to assert herself—. Cerberumon’s words encourage her not to be afraid of using this latent power already present in herself and to keep a just heart to wield it fairly. Anubimon is the judge of the dark area, who weighs over fallen digimon’s data to either banish them forever or grant them the chance of rebirth. Its role as a fair judge relates to Aoi’s role as a leader who listens to everyone’s input so everyone can reach either a unanimous decision or call for a timeout so the group can put their feelings back in line. Anubimon as a possible endgame for her also foils her corruption arc that leads her to become Plutomon, given both are underlined by the fact she has embraced the authority and power inherent to her social positions and is proactively preserving Harmony, albeit with completely different ethos.

Labramon will consistently encourage Aoi to be more confident and tackle the challenges before her, as her evo scenes and general demeanor evidence. For this reason, Aoi regards Labramon as someone who is as assertive and reliable as she should be, while keeping a really poor opinion of herself. This is at the core of their conflict in part 6, where she worries about what exactly she gives back to Labramon, who's so capable already and has to support her in everything she does. Because Aoi is very stubborn and her beliefs are deeply held, it's difficult for her to internalize the positive feedback Labramon and the others offer her. She admits as much when Takuma mediates between the two, and she promises to work on her inner monologue to be able to treat herself as kindly as Labramon does. This open-ended journey for her to deal with her self-loathing plays a big role in her endgames. Where in Moral she's able to trust the group and delegate —thus managing her workload and stress— ultimately getting the support she needs on her ever on-going journey to assertiveness, in Wrathful she becomes consumed by her self-loathing. So much so, her desires to become a better version of herself and her view of Labramon as the better half are crystallized into becoming Plutomon (think of her dialogue when she explains who she is now: "Aoi? No, I've cast off that weak persona. I'm Plutomon."). Arguably, Labramon being utterly loyal and devoted to Aoi to the point she'd sacrifice herself for her—and the Biomerge only featuring Aoi's voice, signifying Labramon has been consumed— also show the toxic pitfalls of Aoi's scrupulous work ethic. In this way, Labramon and the different outcomes of her evolution line perfectly encapsulate Aoi’s self and possible growth. 

Ryo and Kunemon

One of the things that stand out the most about Kunemon is the fact he's unable to verbally communicate (although the other partnermon are able to instinctively understand him). Secondly, are the knee-jerk reactions his presence receives— namely, the disgust and rejection due being "creepy" and "scary" (mostly coming from Ryo himself). This is likened to Ryo in a rather blatant manner via Saki's remark after his death in the vanilla route, where she comments about his loneliness and trouble expressing himself. This sense he's icky and insignificant plagues Ryo before he attends the spring camp— which is made the most clear in his prequel story, where he's sharply aware his behavior is repulsive, and so he wishes to attend camp to avoid the rejection from his classmates and in order to make friends. 

The similarities between Ryo and Kunemon's communication styles don't end in their difficulties: in order to get across his support for him, Kunemon will make Ryo gifts and punch up his behavior in order to give away his feelings through his body language. Much in the same vein, although with the antisocial intention of preemptively shielding himself from others, Ryo overplays his posture and facial expressions to look tougher and cooler than he actually is. On the uptick, when Ryo wants to put his best foot forward, his main ways to get integrated into the group comes in the form of helping Aoi with cooking, supporting Shuuji and helping mediate the group discussions (even if his speech remains as rough as ever). Kunemon shows early on, even when he was completely unhelpful and uncooperative, Ryo's hands-on approach to caring for others. So hands on that, words failing, both will rely on getting physical to snap others out of dangerous situations… 

Kunemon's care for Ryo is epitomized when he pushes him out of the way and prevents him from walking straight to the Kenzoku. This opens Ryo's eyes to the way he's been cared for not just by Kunemon, but by Takuma and the group. Through Kunemon's love for him, he's able to accept the support others are able to offer him, instead of assuming the worst of them by default. This makes it possible for him to start looking to integrate into the group. Kunemon helping Ryo's social reinsertion is made apparent in the theme of loyalty running through his evo line, where Ryo proudly proclaims he will stand by his side come what might. This attitude very much mirrors his shift from paranoid doomerism to being on board with whatever the group decides in order to stay with them (as he puts in to Takuma in part 5) and his drive to protect and help Miu and Shuuji. Additionally, his ultimate evolution, BanchoStingmon, is all about pride and confidence, which is a far cry from his degraded self image Kunemon initially reflected. 

Kunemon's lack of speech also externalizes Ryo's sense of isolation. Takuma notes that even though he's unable to understand Kunemon, Ryo is perfectly capable of communicating with him. Amid his feverish distress, Ryo speaks nastily to Kunemon: he remarks that nobody is listening to what he has to say. This, again, has a rather obvious parallel to the way Ryo feels his worries dismissed by the group. His sense of neglect runs deep, as he was not allowed to see his mother in favor of keeping up with normal life, despite how much it obviously affected him. Likewise, Ryo's angry remarks that Kunemon is weak and useless for not being able to speak reflect the way he feels about himself; during the search for Shuuji and co. in part two, should the player decide to check up on him, Ryo will straight up say in a self-deprecating manner that if Takuma needs him, he will be useless and in the way as usual. As much as Ryo's self-awareness makes him deeply self-conscious in the first stretch of the game, it also makes him keen and the only one in the group not to be tricked by the doppelganger partnermon— he's perceptive enough to detail and his own internal nature to be able to instinctively understand Kunemon, and, as such, it's impossible for him to mistake him among the shadows. 

It is to be noted, however, that Ryo's ability to communicate with Kunemon fluctatues, as shown in the JewelBeemon evolution scene. In it, Ryo laments that once he panics, he stops making sense of Kunemon's words and resorts to solving things by force. Given his perfect evolution scene also uses training as shorthand that Ryo is working on himself continously, it could be taken to mean his own disposition to communicate is a work on progress. Just like he mantains his relationship with Kunemon through crafting objects for his needs and remaining calm to understand him, he needs to cultivate the same disposition towards the group.

Saki and Floramon

Saki and Floramon are a very like-minded pair, sharing a sociable, carefree, cheerful and optimistic disposition. So much so, Saki actually remarks that sometimes talking to Floramon is like talking to herself. Whenever Saki gets irked by Takuma’s fenceriding or overall tepidness, Floramon matches her indignation and openly expresses the desire for Saki to be protected or for the situation to be taken care of. While this bluntness is seemingly in line with Saki’s character —let’s remember the first thing she does upon arriving at the school is demand a different room for the girls— it's actually a point of contrast between the two. 

Despite appearances, Saki's actually very discreet about her needs and won't voice them until she has no other recourse — in the case of pt4, until she literally couldn't keep going during their trek to the amusement park. She's generally really cagey to talk directly about her illness. She reacts strongly to feeling exposed when Takuma finds her medical chart in part 5, getting flustered and diverting attention from it via calling Takuma a pervert for prying, which creates an awkward atmosphere that prevents Takuma from snooping any further. In general, her affinity dialogues favor answers that reassure her without pressing her to talk directly about her illness and the troubles it brings— think about her affinity dialogue in part 7 before you enter the factory, where she vaguely explains to Takuma she might be unable to see the others for a while after a camp, and the best answer is to reassure her you'll stay friends without asking for clarification. This avoidance underlines Floramon's evolution line, with Vegiemon using underhanded tactics to get ahead others (not unlike Saki’s trait of knowing exactly which buttons to press to be liked, deflect or get what she wants—the latter especially apparent in her prequel story); Blossomon having a timid and reclusive disposition that'd rather avoid fights (which mirrors Saki's own reluctant posture with regards their conflict against other kemonogami); even Ceresmon Medium rarely lets herself be seen in order to avoid fighting and adopts more of a support role. Furthermore, Vegiemon is typically a neglect evolution born out of care mistakes, which finds a clear parallel in Saki postponing her medical treatment, but also the way she tries to push herself to keep up with group and what she wants to do, even if it's dangerous for her. 

Floramon being more straightforward about expressing Saki's needs and desires to be taken care of and/or reassured means she embodies Saki's most authentic self, unburdened from social rules and her fears of rejection. While Saki might maintain the secrecy about her condition, this isn’t something she necessarily wants to do as much as something she feels she needs to. This is shown in the flippant way she lets Takuma know about her sickness in part 9, without necessarily wanting to talk deeply about it but to have the freedom to bring it up without fanfare. Floramon’s uncomplicated demeanor allows Saki to honestly engage with herself, as seen in the Vegiemon evolution cutscene. When Saki is too caught up in her head about the honesty of her intentions— how much of her actions stem from genuine feelings vs following the course of action she knows will get her to be liked— Floramon encourages her to stay in touch with her heart and not overthink it. This facilitates her endgame of a self-acceptance that isn’t completely predicated on the whims of external validation, as shown in her Moral shadow event.

Her relationship with Floramon also pushes Saki to tackle conflict in a direct and considerate way. One of Saki’s long-running preoccupations concerns whether she’s selfish or not. In the first half of part 3, when they talk about Ryo, Takuma assuages her by saying she’s not because he notices her keenness can lead her to be very mindful of those around her. However, this behavior can also lead her to be two-faced, as seen with how she treats Floramon at the start of part 6. Her conflict with Floramon involves not only the reassurance of Floramon’s unconditional support and protection, but also calls her to confront how her avoidance can be self-centered and hurt others, which is another cornerstone to Saki’s arc: to learn to engage with conflict honestly.

Shuuji and Lopmon 

This pair wins the dubious award of Most Troubling Partnership, with Shuuji’s rejection of Lopmon being downright abusive. During the Digimon Con 2022 livestream, Habu alluded to the nature of their relationship by saying that because the digimon are the other half of a human soul, hurting your partermon is a form of self-harm. And so, Shuuji’s treatment of Lopmon corresponds to the way his own internal monologue plays out, which is made apparent in the self-depreciating way he speaks of himself when he’s breaking down in the waterways. This passage in the game also highlights Shuuji is mainly motivated to gain his father’s approval and his subsequent despair over not getting it and being rejected— which has a clear mirror in Lopmon’s overall pitiful, fawning disposition (and by his own admission that he desired for Shuuji’s praise in the Turuiemon evo scene). Lopmon will lament and wonder about why he’s the only one who’s despised much like Shuuji will wail about being the unbecoming son and frantically ruminate over what he’s doing wrong. It’s clear then that Lopmon reflects Shuuji’s most vulnerable and frail feelings as a defenseless child against parental abuse, which is further reinforced by Lopmon’s small, frail build and his helpless yet attention-starved demeanor. 

Lopmon consistently reflects Shuuji’s most frail and unflattering stress responses in the way he cowers and cries whenever the situation gets too much. Shuuji himself is shown panicking and freezing plenty of times— starting by how genuinely overwhelmed he gets in the prologue when having to choose the best course of action before crossing the tunnel: whether to let Aoi and co. tag along or not. Despite the ways he tries to lead Saki with an iron-fist during part 2, he quickly sinks into his overwhelm and fear from being chased around. Not to mention that he straight up wailed the same as Lopmon at the cable car. Despite Shuuji’s ugly behavior muddling the situation, Lopmon and Shuuji are actually very painfully alike, so much so that they’re the first ones to note how they’re always thinking and experiencing the world in similar ways after they come out of the tunnel in Truthful. Even Shuuji’s worst eventually finds its expression in Lopmon when he dark evolves and embodies Shuuji’s sorrow and anger in the most destructive—and suicidal— way possible where he literally cannibalizes his other half, after being broken down over a really agonizing slow burn, much like Shuuji became who he is after enduring his own abuse for a long time.

Lopmon mirrors Shuuji’s experience not only through his reactions to it, but in the way their scenarios are crafted to begin with. From being reprimanded for lagging behind during the hike in part 4 and told to keep pace despite his small body, to being berated for being unable to explain himself properly in part 5 during the restroom scene, the scenarios very intentionally evoke common experiences children in abusive households will go through, down to having Shuuji’s speech match the way said parents speak to their children. Shuuji’s mistreatment of Lopmon not only is allegorical of his self-hatred and self-harm, it actively shows you the abuse he has had to endure and how he excuses it and reproduces it— because he’s not good enough, his father’s berating is only done so he can improve just like he is cruel to Lopmon to toughen him up and mold him into the imposing leader/monster they should be. It’s a chilling and effective portrayal of verbal abuse and how deeply felt and noxious its effects are, despite not being as obvious to portray as physical abuse.

On the uptick, Lopmon’s demeanor will change when Shuuji finally accepts the mistreatment wasn’t warranted. Being able to recognize Lopmon only ever did his best and didn’t deserve to be put down for it serves for him to be able to internalize that truth for his own self, and start seeing value in the traits he loathed so much about himself. To look at himself with the capacity of love and kindness, even if previously it had been impossible for him. With his newfound resolution to live not for external approval —and this is enabled because Shuuji knows he doesn't have to grovel for it anymore, given that the group wants to support him even when he has hit rock bottom—, but to be able to make his own self proud and live without regrets, Lopmon’s own behavior relaxes and becomes more serene and braver. Lopmon’s evo line reflects Shuuji’s need to hone a calm, disciplined spirit (in contrast to his earlier emotional outbursts) in Turuiemon; his commitment to fulfilling his duties and looking after his juniors in Andiramon (a healthy expression of what we already saw at its worst in part 5); and his intellectual ideals in Cherubimon.

Special thanks to chettiri for pointing out the pertinent speech observations and reading the draft as it updated, as well as the friends who checked up on my progress and reminded of details I might have omitted.

[ctl-yuejie]

KoiNido ep. 5: a break-up episode done well

Over the first half I was busy being happy about how this show doesn't go the tropy route without considering the characters (Miyata confronting this newly appeared "rival" with confidence, mild annoyance towards Iwanaga's popularity and possible past hook-ups and possessiveness) so when he show ramped up to the break-up I was in denial. At that point an impending break-up felt at odds with their characters.

Until Miyata couldn't answer the question of whether he loves Iwanaga and then posed the suggestion of a break-up.

As soon as Iwanaga in return suggests to take a break with the relationship, we can see in Miyata's eyes that he doesn't really feel good about this. A break-up, a break, none of it feels like the thing he wants but it is still better than his state of not knowing what exactly he wants with all the revelations around Iwanaga's family situation unfolding.

Without the interference of Sugimoto or the sister, the topic of his family might have come up at some point (I don't think Iwanaga would be as reluctant to tell Miyata that he got kicked out if he could still consider the family issue a closed matter, sans maybe trying to hide it as long as possible lest Miyata feel guilty or bad about it) but the world around them really decided to come at them at the worst timing.

While they are dating - it is still not a full committment to each other (understandably so) since Miyata wants to date Iwanaga but still has a possible break-up etc on his mind.

And while his reasoning is that he got hurt before, the argument that he loves Miyata more than Iwanaga does him might not hold true afterall.

We got to see a bit of that in last week's episode when Iwanaga - indignantly challenged by Miyata - confessed to loving Miyata in many similar ways. This is also the reason why Miyata feels confident about these past flings: he might be jealous, but he feels secure enough to show it and actually believe that Iwanaga loves him. He might be uncertain about the depths of these feelings, but at least he isn't anticipating getting cheated on.

Slowly we get the reveal that there are several levels to them trying out their relationship. For one, they haven't seen each other in a very long time and while it is very sweet how they just fit together (them going on dates, having conversations, sexual compatibility etc) while visibly not being the same people as they were in highschool, they are taking their time to get to know each other. Iwanaga thinks he can take his time now that Miyata at least decided to date him and is convinced he can make him stay - but he is withholding a lot from Miyata.

And Miyata...realizes that moving in would be too quick for them. And that he doesn't know how to handle Iwanaga wanting privacy ("outsider") while trying to shield him from something he doesn't tell him about. He gets to learn important information about Iwanaga's life from someone that is not Iwanaga, not only making it so that his image of Iwanaga was somewhat false (there actually was a lot at stake for Iwanaga to try and run away with Miyata) but in way that he has to feel embarrassed and bad about it.

He made Iwanaga out to be this villain and player in his mind and treated him that way, but now Miyata might blame himself for being fooled. The embarrassement he felt in highschool just came back to haunt him. And it might be easy to talk about hurt feelings (he does communicate that a lot to Iwanaga after warming up to him) it is much more difficult to communicate when you haven't sorted your own feelings out.

He went from thinking that Iwanaga might actually love him despite himself being in love with Iwanaga in a way more inevitable way that felt unfair to him, to realizing that his love might not be enough for this.

His hesitation was solely focused on reasons that started and ended with them as individuals. But being in a relationship might now also entail hurting Iwanaga while being held at arms-length about his "insider" issues. How the outside will react to them being a couple. And that is a lot to put on something you are in the process of "figuring out". Miyata's reasons for not moving in are understandable, also as a gut-feeling I get it. But within the context of these changed parameters Miyata might now questions the extant for his love for Iwanaga and his ability to commit to a long-term relationship, to be family to Iwanaga in face of his inability to even move in with him.

That logic is warped, but this disturbance seems like that catalyst of uncovering where Miyata hasn't quite realized the extant to which he feels unsure in himself and inferior to Iwanaga. From highschool to know this uncertainty has stayed with him and it is coming to haunt him now. He might have to figure out how he's good for Iwanaga to come to truely trust himself in this relationship.

Which leads me to Iwanaga not letting him.

Rather than relying on Miyata he has decided to resolve the family matter on his own and in his dramatic romantic way (that is hardly every visible to Miyata, but always simmering beneath - we can see it in his eyes when Miyata isn't looking) he'd rather separate Miyata from all his issues and sacrifice himself.

And while there can be conflict in a relationship because not everyone has the same idea of privacy (e.g. withholding family issues, illnesses, debt etc.) his reluctance in sharing his pain with Miyata also seems to come from a place of self-loathing. The ease with which he flirts with Miyata (which annoys Miyata to no end and makes him questions how sincere Iwanaga is) seems to stem from fighting alone for a very long time. When in highschool it migh have come from a place of privilege induced obliviousness, him detaching himself in this way now seems like a survival strategy.

His desperation and want makes him pursue Miyata, but he does so in a seemingly unserious manner, toying with Miyata just in case this won't work out. Just like he gives the huge bouquet to Miyata: if Miyata likes it all is well, if he detests it he can make a joke out of it and still win (the bouquet strategy obviously took an estimation of Miyata's character into account, but no one can tell me that Iwanaga didn't actually want to get Miyata flowers and have him move in. Even when he is somewhat aware, he always leaves himself a way out).

To him this family issue was resolved, maybe only a question of whether he ever wanted to tell Miyata how he isn't actually a rich kid anymore (see above). So suddenly he has to actually treat something seriously (his family, his sisters wedding) and come to terms with his family issue not being resolved entirely as he thought and having to possibly burden Miyata with something. And he hasn't had the time to figure out how to do this while leaving himself an out, so when Miyata proposes a break-up he is quick to change it to taking a break in order to resolve this issue detached from Miyata but with the opportunity to get back with him.

Which resonates with how Miyata is very astute of but also consciously puts an effort into not making the same mistakes. Whereas Iwanaga has been fighting on his own for so long, he hasn't really changed that much since high school. It is now on him to learn how to actually let someone in (the degree might still be different to what Miyata wants) and feel precious about himself.

We get a similar situation to 10 years ago, both feeling unsure of themselves and devalueing themselves while the outside world does the best to interfer. And I'd chance they'd stood a better chance if this happened further into their relationship, but alas...they get thrown into a very similar situation and now it is on them to proof to themselves that these 10 years made a difference.

Obviously this is the plot device timed for the halfway point, but I enjoyed the build-up and going from "oh no" to "oh.....I get where they're coming from and how this will be a catalyst for a new beginning" because it all was set up well within their characters (Miyata not being able to say publicly that he loves Iwanaga after refusing to move in with him, Iwanaga being playful about his feelings for Miyata while having a hurt look in his eyes everytime they get to the topic of their highschool romance, Iwanaga getting kicked out does tie the lose ends together from where the show left them during their highschool days).

They are both very suddenly confronted with a barrage of struggles so it made sense to me that their weren't able to communicate what they actually wanted to say. Because Miyata doesn't know it quite yet and Iwanaga is putting himself down by making assumptions about what Miyata is thinking - sth only Miyata has learned to no solely rely on since high school.

The idea that history repeating itself wouldn't be so bad, if it didn't happen when the protagonists weren't quite ready yet, is a very entertaining thought to me. And I am interested to see how these two will muddle their way through it to challenge the repitition.

This feels like it is getting off the rails so I'll stop here

tagging @bengiyo since I promised more substance (although this got way longer than i expected)

[natasha-in-space]

Hey ive a small request. I just thought of yoosung route with an mc who....actually knew him for a long time and had secretly crushed on him and admired him when both of them were in school. It is pretty canon that yoosung was a popular kid at his school and had many girls crushing on him. One of the girls happened to be mc who cant help but admire him from afar. Back in the day yoosung was the first guy who had been kind and sweet towards her and that stuck with her for the rest of her life. She never confessed her feelings, thinking that she might be "too weird" for him (since she was one of the "weird girls" of the class because of her shyness).

She however never found out about his grief regarding rika, she has a faint memory of him appearing sad on the day of graduation and she has no idea why...it just felt very unusual of him from her perspective. She mustered up some courage to ask him why he is sad but he pushed her away by plastering a fake smile and saying "im actually fine dont worry", she knew he was lying but that day she couldnt ask him more and force him to talk. Few days later she moves out to a different country with her family

Fast forward to current time she ends up being stuck in the apartment because she could not say no to an obviously shady man and finds the same guy she had once admired.

Because the mc here is a very socially awkward person, I am pretty sure she would end up only inviting a handful of people so its going to be the normal ending instead of good ending (which basically means that she would meet him at the hospital and not at the party)

So how do you think the reunion will be. I love your writings very much i want to see your take on this

Life can be so peculiar.

You can meet people by who's side you will end up spending the rest life with, by pure chance. Or, you can lose the one person you thought understood you more than anyone else could. It's unpredictable. And that's a thought that is both terrifying and relieving to ponder over late in the night, when there is nothing else fot you to do but just lay there and stare at the ceiling of your bedroom, deep in thought.

It was unexpected to meet Yoosung again, to say the least. It seems like such cliche story, ripped straight from some generic k-drama and not real life, doesn't it? A shy, closed off kid meeting their popular high school crush further down the line, when they are both now established adults with their own individual lives. But, then again, maybe it wasn't as strange. It's not like you went through some mind-boggling 'glow-up' in these few years, like characters in k-dramas usually do. You were still the same introverted and kind of nerdy dork you were in high school, just a bit more capable of putting up a somewhat acceptable front in public.

Yoosung, though? He was almost an entirely different person.

Well, not entirely, but he was still a far cry from the popular and academic boy you knew back in high school. Not in a bad way, per se... But, it still shocked you quite a bit once you got to know him fully. Then again, it's not like you have really known him at all until now. That doesn't mean your past crush on him was superficial by any means, but it was still rather innocent and puppy-like on your end. You wanted to get to know him better, to see sides of him you couldn't see when he was in public... but, you were far too insecure and skittish to be so bold.

Alas, life had other plans for you.

His hair was not the same neatly styled brunette you remembered. In its place, was a new bright blonde hue that fit him surprisingly well, layered in an adorably casual look that made your heart skip a beat the moment you saw his selfie in the chat, when you first joined. His choice of clothing was more free-spirited, less classy and uptight. The type that made you wonder how his shirts would look and feel on you if you were to borrow them. And his overall attitude seemed to have become a bit more carefree and lighthearted. These major changes surprised you. But, they weren't unwelcome by any means. They intrigued you. Made you want to talk to him, and learn all the ways that he has changed in these couple of years.

Thankfully, you were a bit more chatty behind the safety of your phone.

With chatting, you could take your time and make sure your wordings are correct. You didn't have to just say the first thing that came to mind and then follow through with it. You could express yourself accurately. And you would use that lucky opportunity to its full potential.

Yoosung's apparent active neglect of his studies was surprising to you. The straight-A student you knew back in high school was completely different from this older Yoosung. Maybe you should have been put off by this particular negative change of his, but it only made you grow concerned for him. The more you talked, the less... happy he appeared to you. Sure, his attitude was cheery and carefree on the surface. But, sometimes, you would read upon a phrase or two that would make you pause, your brows furrowing in concern and your heart clenching in your chest, despite it being passed around like a light joke or something.

I don't really know what my talents are.

I don't really know what I want to do.

I just play games to get rid of stress or feel less lonely.

Trying to find what you're interested in itself is a luxury.

It felt like... he just gave up on himself. On his future, and, subsequently, his own happiness. That thought was gnawing at you. It's like he didn't... believe he was capable of finding fulfillment in life, so he gave up on trying altogether. It wasn't right.

Although he may have neglected his studies, he remained the same passionate and lively person you fell for in back in high school. His drive was still there, but it was almost like it got fizzled out due to something you couldn't quite figure out yet. You did remember him seeming rather... downcast back at your graduation. No, he looked downright crushed.

You have a distinct memory of wanting to approach him and inquire about his wellbeing. Maybe you could have offered for him to come and spend some time with you. Yet, as always, you were far too big of a scaredy cat to do so.

Things had changed since then. You may be shy and timid, but you weren't going to let your fears and insecurities hold you back from doing something you knew in your heart was right. Not when life has given you a second chance like this.

And so, that's how you got here. You finally got to see him face to face after eleven days of complete and utter rollercoaster of emotions. Meeting Yoosung in the hospital ward wasn't how you planned it... but, you were just glad to see him smiling and safe.

Furthermore, his smile was meant for you. An observation that left you reeling as you walked sheepishly into his hospital ward, knowing that everyone has left to give you some alone time. It was just you and him now.

"...Hi."

He smiles wider, as if he's excited to finally hear your voice in person, no longer muffled by his speaker phone. You can see him straining a little bit to sit upright, but ultimately deciding against it. "Hi."

So much to say, yet so little time... You find yourself just staring at him for a few moments, before deciding to just go for it. Considering everything that happened during these eleven days between you two, there was no need for you to be cautious or distant. He was pretty straightforward with you about his feelings. Much more upfront than you could ever be. And, some part of you was still in disbelief that he has actually come to love you in such a short amount of time.

It was too good to be true.

You reach his bedside and sit on the chair placed neatly next to it. Without thinking much about it, you reach out and place a gentle hand on his palm, his skin soft and warm under your touch. It makes you smile almost inadvertently. "It's... so good to finally see you. Are you alright? We were all so shocked when Seven..."

"-I'm okay. You don't have to worry." Yoosung cuts you off in a soft tone, his smile turning a bit bashful, and you feel his fingers cautiously intertwining with yours, almost like he was testing the waters, wanting to see if you will pull away from his touch. Of course, you didn't. He sighs, seeming to be enjoying the comfortable silence for a brief moment, before continuing, his thumb warmly brushing the back of your hand. "I promise I'll tell you everything a bit later. There will be no secrets between us. I just... I want this moment to be about us, you know?"

Your heart flutters in your chest as you nod in response to such sweet words. You knew what he meant, though. You really did. He was brave enough to say it openly while you weren't. "What... do you want to talk about?"

You opt to give him the initiative here. To see where this would go. He hums softly, pondering for a few moments before replying, his eye always fixed on you. Not like you could blame him. Finally talking to him face to face and not having to imagine what he actually looks like, was having the same effect on you. You two might be more similar than you think.

"...I just... I can't help but think that this was fate, you know? That Rika really did bring you to me. To help me find what I have lost back when she left us. To help me move forward with my life." He licks his lips, and you give him an encouraging nod, letting him know that you are indeed listening. Rushing this was not necessary. He seemed to appreciate your gesture, with an adorably sweet smile tugging at the corners of his mouth that made your heart swell. "It's funny... I was so popular back in high school, I had so many people I called my friends, and yet, I barely have seen them since then. Yet, the one who made their way back into my life like a hurricane was... you."

You can't help but chuckle and shake your head a little bit. "I would say it was the other way around... but, I am flattered to hear that."

You sway in your seat, unsure if you should mention it or not. In the end, you make the decision to be truthful. You two are technically a couple now, after all. It's only right to be honest with him. And... a huge part of you was always longing for a chance to tell him what you were far too scared to tell all those years ago.

So, you go for it.

"...How surprised would you be, if I told you that I actually had a huge crush on you back in high school?"

You watch his eyes widen and his mouth fall open as he just stares at you for a few moments, completely taken aback by your revelation. It was both endearing and a bit embarrassing to witness. You chuckle nervously, feeling your cheeks grow warm as you look down at your hands locked together, suddenly far too shy to look him in the eye.

"You just seemed so out of my league back then... You were the popular guy - one everyone liked. And, I mean... who was I? Just an anxious mess always sitting in the back of the class. Invisible and weird. So, I... never really approached you about it." You pause, your expression growing a bit somber as you call back to the day of your graduation. An event that was meant to be a moment of triumph and joy. A celebration of the start of your future. Yet, for you two, it wasn't anything like that. "What I always regretted the most, though... was not talking to you back at our graduation. I could tell that something was wrong, but I was too much of a chicken to actually do anything about it. So, I... when I walked into that apartment, and realized it was actually you... I don't know. I just felt like life has given me a second chance. To make things right this time."

There are a few minutes of silence between you two, nothing but the muffled noises of the hospital bustling with life on the other side of the door, and your shared breathing. Despite this, it's not suffocating or uncomfortable at all. It's oddly peaceful. You know he's processing all that you just told him, and you feel strangely calm as you give him all the time he needs before he responds.

Yoosung gently tugs your hand, a silent request for you to look up at him, and you grant him that request without any reservations on your part. His rosy eye is soft as he looks at you, and his brows slightly knit together, but it is not an expression of displeasure or unhappiness. Rather, it's a look of curiosity and disbelief that makes your breath catch in your throat. You remain silent, though, just waiting for him to come up with his piece.

You told your truth. Now, it was his turn.

"All this time... All this time you were right there, by my side, and I didn't even know it. You really are my blessing, aren't you, Y/N?"

His voice shakes as he speaks, his throat bobbing as he clearly attempts to swallow his emotions. It doesn't seem to work, though, as you can see his eye glistening slightly with unshed tears. So much for not getting emotional. As you gently squeeze his hand, you feel yourself becoming quite choked up too. A small laugh escapes you: a natural response to a rather emotional exchange happening between you. "I wouldn't call it that... I was too much of an anxious mess to do anything for the majority of that time. I'm still that awkward, scared kid, to be quite honest. Just a little bit more mature now."

Yoosung shakes his head, and an adorable pout takes its place on his cheeks. He almost seems offended when he hears you talk about yourself in this manner. "You are so much more than that."

"Yeah?" You smile, finding his insistence rather cute.

"Your words, your encouragements, your trust in me - it all gave me strength to let go of my grief and move forward with my life. Before you came along, I... I was just adrift. After Rika passed, I... I honestly felt like a big part of me died with her. I no longer knew who I was, or what I was meant to do, or if there was any point to what I do, if all my efforts could be just ripped away from so cruelly. I gave up on myself. Truth is, deep down, I didn't believe I could be happy. But, you..." he squeezes your hand, laying his other palm atop of it now as well. "You came along, and you believed in me, when no one else did. You encouraged me and told me that it's never too late to seek out that happiness I thought I lost. You never judged me, never made fun of me. You just... listened. Listened and accepted me for who I was. No, you saw things no one else saw, not even me. I can finally say that I am proud of who I am, and that's because of the way your words have motivated and encouraged me. You are the most brave and amazing person I know. And I'll be damned if I don't tell you that every single day from now on."

You're at a loss for words when faced with such a heartfelt speech. It's just too much. In the best way possible. You are pretty sure you can feel a couple of tears sliding down your cheeks now, as a tiny laugh slips from your lips. You wipe your eyes with your free hand, sniffing.

"...I forgot how great you are at giving motivational speeches."

Your blunt response makes you both laugh, a new lightness filling your chest as you suddenly feel all your nerves fade from your mind. Yoosung didn't make you nervous. Not at all. You knew you were safe with him. Just like you always took his problems and struggles seriously, he would do the same for you.

"I wasn't the class president for nothing, you know."

"That you weren't."

[capcavan]

Hi sorry to bother you but could you elaborate more on how to properly write Riko in general. Like what it would take for him to actually cross that line and get his hands dirty, how he interacts with Tetsuji, and anything else you can think of. All your takes are so interesting!!

pls dont feel sorry if there is one thing that makes me happy is talking about preccious babygirl riko moriyama. Please don't take it as guide or rules in the end every writer and creator will characterize character in their own way and my take on it will higlight my ideas and my preferences trust your ideas and remember that your story might need something else, but feel free to take inspiration from this post if you se it fitting! general ruminations and headcannons about it all from me, if any of them will stand up to you feel free to ask further i will do my best to elaborate:

what would take for riko to cross the line, this is soemthign that would be intimatelly dependant on story you write and reltionships the character form, there is popular post in fandom that goes along the lines ,, there is not such thing as ooc behaviour of character if you find an organic way to explin why they end up actign this way '' the occ part would be expecting canon riko to rape or kill for exmaple this would mean you need to probe and push at his relationship with sexuality or need for power i don't want to focus on giving direct examples since that's something that organically would be plot point in a fanfiction but if raven neil would be rivaling with riko for power in nest in a way no other raven player would ever been able to - neil is direct competition to riko's cruelity and ability to manipulate people - riko might end up going over the line with him , important thing is for me, it would never be somethgin happening early in the rivality, it would be end all means . Riko would not resort to such move unless he saw no other way to proceed or get his way, Riko comiting those acts means he is happy to end up punished for them end in prizon let go of his dreams and future just to bring harm to the person that inconveniences him. I firmly belive that if Riko knew ichirou will shoot him for all the mess he caused durign aftg he would have never done that. So yeah In my view Riko choosing to kill somone is making peace with his own life being ruined. Personally I have anger issues and when they get triggered all i can think of is how much i want to harm others because when I am triggered it feels like the pain and dread i feel are not something anyone else can experience and the only way i could ever be understood and offered help in those moments is if i will bring everyone else down to my level - i think this is how riko's life is, the bottom line is he will not make others hurt more than he is hurting so the worse his situation gets the more he will drag others down Riko's relationship with tetsuji is dreadful thing, Tetsuji in a way is the only reason Riko got to live past his teenge years, tetsuji is his groomer abuser and idol, Tetsuji si riko's god. I think riko is incapable to act out towards him because of crippling fear and need of his approval, because this is how tetsuji raised him. Riko is dog who was beaten by his owner whole life but unlike dog he has enough human conscience to not bite back. Riko will listen and obey to him not because he respects him but because he was raised this way , he was beaten into it , even if riko wanted to disobey tetsuji his body would not listen, submittign to master is in Riko's nature and is hard coded in all cells of his body. but more headcanon route I think it's interestign to consider all the ways why riko might be disgusted by sex, in general his character reads very asexual to me but not in the commonly accepted tumblr way, he just does not seem to have sex drive one would expect of him, and simply uses sex as wepon and punishement .

[bereft-of-frogs]

last minute 'night of the fire' theory very very long post~

Ngl I'm kind of hoping for 100% flashback to mirror episode 3, partially because I love symmetry and partially because I've been waiting SO LONG for this flashback, I want ALL OF IT. Maybe with a small bridge at the end. Cutting back and forth I think would be too much.

I'm leaning towards the Jedi coming to Brendok either on a completely unrelated mission to the twins or utterly by accident. The leaker that predicted the nude scene in episode 6 (so I now trust them completely lol), said they think the reason the Jedi are dispatched to Brendok 1) might cause a lore complaint 2) connects to TPM and 3) made Sol remind them of Qui-Gon. I can't quite figure out the lore complaint, and the political subplots of TPM don't make sense (nothing about trade routes or taxation fits for why they'd be sent to the seemingly abandoned - except for the coven - Brendok) so I'm not sure about that, but I'm wondering if it follows TPM's plot of being on the way back to Coruscant from a mission of some kind and somehow being sidetracked? Or they're just assigned there to check up on the coven or they're investigating something, or searching for something, but I don't think it initially has anything to do with the twins BECAUSE:

then yeah, not unlike Qui-Gon in TPM who meets Anakin and is like 'nice, side quest' when they land on Tatooine, Sol just happens upon the girls in the forest and accepts this new padawan acquisition side quest. This could also explain why Indara initially takes the lead in the first confrontation (she's higher ranked, in command of the primary operation), but then keeps deferring to Sol about what he saw and how he wants to proceed with the test.

I also believe that, like in episode 3, what we're going to see on screen is for the most part objective truth. Popular theory is that Osha had things literally altered in her memory, but if that was the case, and we were meant to be seeing things from her perspective exclusively, we wouldn't have all the scenes that she had no way of witnessing. I think we're meant more to wonder about what context we're missing, rather than the essential veracity what's being shown to the audience. (*with possibly Mae in her room, who does seem out of character, that could be a vision of some kind, I'll cop to that one)

like the scene where they hear something in the reactor room and Koril goes to look and doesn't find anything. We're just missing the context, which I think is Sol spying on them (or whoever is shown in the trailer scaling the exterior of the fortress, I'm inclined to say Sol though)

I do NOT think the Council or Vernestra ordered them to do anything. There's been a lot of 'the Council ordered them to wipe out the witches' theories floating around and that makes 0 sense, both because in the show a big thing is confessing to the Council, and because Headland keeps saying one of the issues being explored is how far-flung these missions get and the lack of oversight. They were operating independently, probably without good communications (BIG high republic theme, that the long-distance communications networks are shaky at best, and we saw last episode they're still not great), and had to make decisions in the field they independently chose to cover up. Vernestra also really does not seem to know anything about what happened besides their cover story.

I also still don't think it's a conscious, premeditated decision even among just the four to kill anyone. I think there's probably an argument over the girls, the coven overrides Aniseya and won't let Osha leave, the Jedi push back on that because Osha clearly really wants to leave, and things escalate from there. With the spell on the table...yeah I just don't see this as that simplistic a situation as 'the Jedi just decide to slaughter everyone because reasons'.

Already posted a longer version of this, but still feeling good about my theory that the coven casts a spell on Kelnacca (at the very least) to puppet him into the fight, Sol steps in to keep him from killing Torbin, and Indara attacks/kills Aniseya to break the spell (which possibly rebounds and takes out the rest of the coven). Would cover why the witches all seem to die at once, why Aniseya's body is separate, and why Mae accuses Indara of attacking the unarmed (she doesn't think of her mother's magic as a weapon, while in Indara's eyes, she's eliminating a threat to their lives)

I'm a little shakier on this one, but I'm inclined to speculate (ok I just would really, really like this) that they do a Parent Trap (Jedi and surviving witch/possible Sith each taking one twin) and one of the reasons they want to cover it up is because they know there is something left back on Brendok for Osha (counter to Sol's sus line 'there's nothing back there'), but they want to make the decision easier for her or they've specifically cut a deal to each keep one twin and stay out of each other's way. (Could explain Indara's 'this isn't a road you want to go down' if they'd agreed to all stay separated...but also that was probably just a Matrix reference lol...)

That would also be a reason they don't want the Council to know. Making deals with the Sith (or any dark side group) and leaving an innocent child with them? That would be BAD, especially given how Vernestra reacted to the revelation Mae was still alive. Killing a dark-side coven that was threatening them? Yes also bad. But is it 'hide from the Council for 16 years while wracked with guilt' bad? Especially because the Jedi aren't particularly into punitive justice, it's not like they're going to be executed or something. They all (minus Sol) more or less exile themselves anyways. I can't quite figure why they keep this secret while they're so haunted. There has to be another layer to it, possibly something to protect Osha. (Sith keep making deals in this series...was this another one? Though the Jedi probably would not know they were Sith.) (Ok that last part was really just spitballing.)

I'm so looking forward to finally finding out but I am going to miss the mystery! I guess there will be a few things remaining to guess about the finale, but 'what happened the night of the fire' has really been the core mystery for me and I'm a little sad there will be no more theorizing. And I have to wait until Autumn for the next High Republic book???? Tragic.

I guess we'll all find out in a few hours. I'm gonna go see MaXXXine first though.

*I am going back on one thing, ok so either the initial reason for the assignment to Brendok is what I thought above, initially unrelated to the twins and connecting to Qui-Gon's side quest vibes in TPM, or they ARE specifically sent for the girls because of the prophecy. That could raise a lore complaint among the kind who were freaking out about Anakin and the prophecy back when episode 3 aired, and that could connect Sol and Qui-Gon. But I don't know how much these writers know or care about Qui-Gon's prophecy side project, it hasn't been brought up at all in the series. And like the main critique you CAN'T make about the show is that it doesn't telegraph its twists. It seems unlikely that they'd toss a massive curve-ball in at the last act. Plus, it really doesn't seem like the Jedi know beforehand that the twins were created in any other way than uh, traditional methods (Indara asking where their father is). I'm not sure how I feel about this one, I don't love the prophecy thing in general, but that might close the 'lore complaint' hole I'm struggling with. It would just fall under a general 'I would have liked more foreshadowing' like a lot of theories I'm kind of meh on, but wouldn't totally ruin things for me. But honestly, given how much they freaked out about a characters noncanonical age...a lore complaint could really be anything at this point.

And all the interview material about a 'lack of oversight' still makes me lean more towards 'they got sent out to do something unrelated and decided to pivot without checking in first and got in over their heads' which is also fairly in-line with what we see happening with other High Republic Jedi, that they have to make more decisions in the field than the more centralized Prequel era.

I'd also prefer the latter theory, because then it would tie in thematically to The Phantom Menace AND a moment in the show from episode 4: when Osha touches the umbramoth and muses that she caused its death by disturbing. That might have just been to point out that she still follows some of her mother's ideas about the Thread (that everything is connected, and to pull on the Thread is to have consequences), but it could also be a nice bit of foreshadowing, that disturbing something, even in what initially appears to be a minor way, could have dire consequences. Not unlike in The Phantom Menace, when essentially an accident of fate, choosing Tatooine to land to repair the hyperdrive, which leads Qui-Gon to randomly stumble on Anakin, leads to the destruction of the Jedi Order and the rise of the Empire. And given that my other main theory (that Sol is going to be framed from the deaths and this is the solution to the 'how to kill a Jedi without a weapon' riddle, to destroy a Jedi's legacy) also mirrors the fate of the Order in the PT, I just think it would be really neat if this was also a microcosm of something that happens to the Order as a whole in the PT (a chance meeting leads to destruction).

But now we're fully in the realm of 'what I want'/'how I'd do it' vs 'what I think is likely to happen or supported by the text/leaks/supplementary interviews'. I just think it would be a neat thematic package and just be nice as the vindication of The Phantom Menace continues, as someone who has loved it since 1999. XD Likely? Maybe not, but I have put up with so much shit for 25 years for liking TPM, it would be nice for a new Star Wars thing to be that directly linked to it.

Ok I'm really going to go see MaXXXine now. Bye! Pray for me that Indara doesn't turn out to be an evil Sith lord, I really doubled down on that on Reddit, I do NOT want to make that apology tour...

[sun-marie]

Aloth for the character breakdown!

How I feel about this character: Aloth my beloved <3 I love him to pieces, I love how he balances snark with kindness. He's uptight and nervous and just a tad hypocritical at some points, but I find him really compelling in the first game and especially the second game. I appreciate how they handled his backstory, in my experience abusive parents in media often justify a "hardened" character's behavior (when they're really just assholes), but I appreciate how the abuse Aloth went through + the fact he had to hide Iselmyr for most of his life have worn him into more of a nervous wreck than some kind of a "badass", and there are several routes he can take to healing. And I really like how in between games he reconciles with his mom and is straight up like "you don't have to approve and I'm glad I did it" to the Watcher, I appreciate that he has boundaries and it gives depth to his unseen relationship with her. I think he's a flawed and well-rounded character, and even though I went into the games expecting to like him I was still surprised by how much!

There are moments in the second game where I did feel like his... attitude, I guess? was a little much for me. I think in the DLCs especially he suffers from just a little bit of flanderization, where nearly everything the group did he had a comment like "we're not seriously doing this, right?" or "wonderful, another x uncomfortable thing" that give the feeling that he's just being dragged around by the Watcher and doesn't wanna be here. And idk by the end of the Forgotten Sanctum I was kind over it? Like I'm sorry you're not having a good time my dude but nobody is. BUT I try not to hold that against his character bc to me, I more have issue with the quantity of the comments rather than the quality, and I can easily see a situation where the writers wrote his reactions to certain situations in isolation, not realizing that it might be too much when it all came together.

Overall, though, I generally prefer him in the second game and think his second arc was handled even better than his first, both paths are incredibly crunchy.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: ...Is it cheating to say my Watcher? Idk I enjoy his very lowkey Deadfire romance a lot <3 I like how a lot is left up to interpretation re: how far they go in their relationship (with Sabina, at least, I don't think they get very far at all), and it has such sugary sweet vibes for such a dark setting.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: As I mentioned in my answer to this question for Xoti, I feel like the entire Deadfire crew could fit this spot for each other, and I also referenced how much I enjoy her relationship with Aloth. For Aloth specifically, though, I have to go with his bromance with Edér, which really benefits from spanning across two games (and with Matt Mercer having great chemistry with... himself). I also read this great fic a while ago that really sold me on the potential of his relationship with Sagani and Grieving Mother!

My unpopular opinion about this character: I have no idea what ending people prefer for him in Deadfire so idk how popular/unpopular this is, but for me I prefer the ending where he gives up his work dismantling the Leaden Key, mainly because it feels like an immense amount of pressure to place on a guy who seems to be under plenty, and the steps he would have to take take to continue feel eerily similar to how Thaos operated. Plus it means he can stay with my Watcher but as an avid tragedy enjoyer I promise it's not just that it's just a bonus

Also, I'm not a huge fan of the "Elves have a super long lifespan" bc I feel it unnecessarily complicates things and I kinda wish he was just his actual age instead of like 65

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: While I like how lowkey his romance is, I would have appreciated just a few extra crumbs. Also, I would have loved to see more Iselmyr if he didn't suppress her, bc while she's fun and I enjoy her I sometimes forget she's there 😅

GIVE ME A CHARACTER: and I’ll break their ass down:

[phoebe-delia]

if I could fall into the sky

Hello! So here’s the thing. I saw this art by @lilbeanz a long while back and was hit with the sudden, stark realization that I have been here well over a year and somehow NOT written a songfic to "A Thousand Miles" by Vanessa Carlton. I have finally decided to rectify that.

This takes place in the "this is me trying" universe, because it remains probably my favorite thing I've written and also this song is perfect for a scene I've got in mind. You don't need to have read the fic already to know what's going on. I’ve also changed it to fit Draco’s POV.

Also. This is a late birthday gift for the incredible @ihopeyoubothstaysafefromharm. Joy, you are fucking incredible. As a person and a creator. Thank you for sharing your light with us for a few trips around the sun.

Here’s something pensive and brooding. I hope it makes you feel even a fraction as dreamy and floaty as your creations do for us all.

This was one of the best parts of his day, the walk to the tube station after work. When Draco first got the job, he tried to make the entire journey back to his flat on foot, but he was cursing himself for going on a twenty-minute walk before and after a several-hour shift on his feet. But the tube station was a solid five minutes away from the diner, and figuring out the transit system wasn't too daunting once he figured out the few routes he needed to know.

Riding the tube felt like a cross between the Hogwarts Express and the Knight Bus. Besides, he quite enjoyed the commute once Lindsey showed him how to get music on the little device she'd made him buy once she'd realized he was utterly clueless about popular culture—at least, her kind.

And Draco's kind, now, too.

As he clicked the headphones around his neck, easily accessible once he boarded the tube, he wondered whether Potter had one of these; f he carried music with him wherever he went. If he, too, needed to quiet the voices in his head with someone else's.

He scowled to himself. Fucking Potter.

One of the bright points of his de facto exile from the Wizarding World was the fact that he'd thought he might not ever have to see Potter again. Draco was more than happy with the cool politeness they'd maintained in the last year at Hogwarts. He'd left the school flooded with relief that he and Potter were finally, blessedly, neutral.

And he felt he'd earned it, too. He'd done his best. He'd paid reparation, tried to read about and experience parts of the world he'd never known or considered before. He was working at a Muggle diner and went to Muggle university for fucks sake. The diner was frustrating work—certainly not the kind of job he'd ever expected to hold, but still gave him a strange sense of satisfaction at the end of each shift. Certainly not the kind of rush he got during his classes during the day, but it was enough.

He was fucking proud of himself, truth be told.

Until Potter had shown up at the diner the previous night and seen Draco in his uniform, and Draco absolutely could not handle it.

So he'd fled, hoping Potter would get the message that Draco did not want to see him at all. That he simply wanted to live his life. To move on.

When Potter arrived again tonight, Draco'd thought Potter either could not seem to comprehend that Draco wanted nothing to do with him, or didn't care. He'd worked his shift half distracted trying to figure out whether Potter was malicious, or just plain stupid.

Neither, as it turned out, or so it seemed. Potter seemed to take a genuine interest in Draco, and that could bring nothing but chaos into the life Draco had so carefully crafted for himself. With his small flat, his job, and his writing classes, Draco was sure his posh, sneering Father would have a heart attack if he knew.

Draco had never felt richer in his life.

His past and present were separated; starkly different. Draco had been careful to carve his new life away from the Wizarding World. Leave no trace behind.

And then Potter—with his crooked smile and impossible hair and startlingly green eyes—just had to blur the lines. He had to mess with the boundaries and walls Draco had put in place.

But then—Potter had seemed so deeply earnest. He’d looked at Draco with that same spark of determination he had when they were kids—but this time with an open hand instead of a clenched fist. Draco shivered at the memory of it; at the feeling of Potter’s eyes on him in that burning, almost predatory gaze. His childhood fantasies were nothing compared to the visceral lived experience of being on the receiving end of Potter’s tenacity.

It hit Draco then, as he neared the tube station, the moon staring knowingly at his back, that he couldn’t wait to feel it again.

[heycoyotegirl]

wait actually quasi-rewrite of paxton's s4 arc:

starting this off by saying that I do genuinely enjoy the "people don't like me? oh shit i have to leave immediately" plot point (slaps the top of paxton's head: this boy can fit so much adhd coding in him), though I think it should've been longer than two weeks (and maybe not Just social problems)

also I liked miss thompson and thought she and paxton were fine together, but daxton owns my heart and soul, so she's just living her best life being a sub at the school, completely unaware of paxton's existence

with that out of the way, alt paxton arc:

I think it would've been fun and sexy for there to have been some sort of swim team tryouts/meeting at ASU, where paxton could blow everyone's times out of the water (pun intended) and then have some of the people on the team dislike him specifically for the thing that made him super popular in high school, in addition to his roommate's total apathy, but that's an optional change

first major change is don't have him go straight to working at the school. I'd either have him get a job at a community pool or maybe work out some sort of deal with the coach to sometimes get access to the school pool (the latter is logistically harder, so I'll be going the community pool route for the rest of this)

as in canon, devi needs something athletic for her applications. she reaches out to paxton to ask, and he suggests the girls swim team (does their school even have a girls swim team? who knows, but I'm going to say that it exists and has openings) ((I also think it would be good for devi to do something she’s BAD at. we got a bit of that from the relay race, but it was overshadowed by her scheming re: aneesa. and that was a one-time event, compared to training to join an actual team and participate in competitions))

devi is obviously leery of the prospect but paxton reassures her that he'll be right there and wont let anything happen to her

insert fun reference to him pulling her out of the pool at ben's party and probably a joke about the role reversal from when devi tutored him

also a deeper discussion about how she became paralyzed in a pool and could've drowned (this is a show about processing and healing from trauma, so let them Talk About The Trauma. the emotional and narrative through-line of "devi loses feeling in her legs" -> "devi regains feeling in her legs because of paxton" -> "paxton rescues devi from a pool" -> "paxton helps her feel safe to swim again" do you see the Vision?)

paxton teaches her to swim again. there is a pool kiss, obviously.

and at this point we can bring eric in (preferably with less fatphobia). he's noticed that paxton has been giving devi private lessons and also wants private lessons. paxton isn't sure because, yes, he really liked helping devi, but well, he lov really likes devi. also eric is annoying

devi encourages him to give it a shot, since he's a really good teacher (aka fun parallel of them both encouraging each other and pushing each other to be their best)

like canon, paxton teaches eric and realizes, oh shit, he might actually like teaching. like, in general and not just teaching devi specifically

the coach sees how he successfully trained eric and then tells paxton about the job opening, which segues into Daxton Drama (do they breakup so he can take this job? do they try to hide their relationship while paxton works at the school, and does that bring up old insecurities for devi, or has she gotten past those? does he turn down the job and go back to school right away? and in that case do they try long distance?)

[ultravioart]

fan theories, crew member teases and common aus aside, how to you suppose peepers and hater met? ive heard that it was supposed to be huge in terms of their backstory

In canon? iirc they met as teenagers in high scool. I personally like to image they met in first year of college on the cusp of adulthood.

It would allow for more independence/freedom as college students than if they were highschoolers, and would explain how they were able to live in a van on an endless road trip. Then again, WoY is very old school in some respects, so maybe they really did run away together as teens. But, I like to think it was college, or at least Peepers was already in college. Maybe Peepers being so smart, he had dual enrollment in high school? idk

Since it was supposed to be a huge lore drop for backstory, I imagine Hater met Peepers on the watchdog home planet, since that's one way of explaining Peepers' backstory pretty easily. If not on the watchdog home world, it would be at some space academy or something lol.

Either way, I like to think Peepers saw Hater for the ultimate powerhouse he was, day one. Lord Hater fit perfectly into Peepers' galactic conquest plans as the ideal front man. And... Hater didn't make fun of him like others did. In fact, they bullied people... together (insert heart emojis). Peeps was absolutely floored by Hater at first sight, of course, but Peepers wasn't completely gone for Hater just yet. It would take a few years of evil villain routine and getting to know Hater more for Peepers to REALLY fall for him. Being his biggest fan was one thing, but romance was out of the question entirely: he had an evil job to do! And Hater was such a pain sometimes... immature... stubborn... gross... cruel... strong... big... intimidating... powerful... handsome.... Over the years, Peepers eventually realizes that his tool to success was more than an amazing tool... realizing Hater was his everything and that he truly loved the big lug terrified Peepers inside, but he was in too deep to turn back now! <3 gg Love wins in the end, evil be damned lol

On the other hand, I think when the two first met, young Hater was drifting around from planet to planet until he stumbled to that school. Maybe it was just the usual road tripping stop, or maybe Hater was taken in by nice locals and placed in school. We know his backstory suggested he was quite academically skilled, so I imagine school might have had a homey feeling for Hater. Something about academia felt right within his vague memories of his past astronaut life. If it was a college, that would make sense, libraries were probably a great way for Hater to stay warm on chilly nights, too. If it was a high school, I can imagine Hater being the 'cool kid' / 'bad boy' 17 year old playing guitar on the roof of his van and roasting students that walk by in the parking lot lmao. Probably hung around the school grounds because he didn't have a proper place to stay.

From how Peepers talked about the van, it seems like Hater had it before meeting Peepers? I think if Peepers ever asked about where Hater lived/family, Hater would have said he ran away from home. Peepers might have even been inspired to run away with Hater because of that lie. The idea of escaping and starting anew was very promising for Peepers. As previously stated in other posts, Peepers was probably the first person to ever see Hater for how great he truly was, and that will always make Peepers special to Hater. Best buds for life! But don't tell Peepers that, Peepers WILL cry in public. Also, cute eye-guy is cute, extremely loyal, and a great hype man for a sick rock band filled with watchdog army groupies. lol. I can imagine Peepers probably nudged Hater from a bully rockstar route to ultimate evildoer route as a 'better' way to 'be popular' across the galaxy. I honestly think Hater had a lot of rage, but idk if Hater was "blow up a moon, evil cackle, and terrorize millions as they chant your name" rage level like Peepers was. But Peepers can really sell a pitch, and the rest was history.

That, and a few months later a 'totally not a couple' marriage license they got in Vas Legas so they could get an initial loan for the skull ship. Partners in crime AND taxes! Hater has no recollection of this.

I'd also like to imagine, even with Hater having some blurry memories of his previous 'planet of the apes/astro-ape' life, his memories would come back over time. Hater knows a lot, hides a lot, and he is incredibly smart and highly educated. And yet, he lets Peepers be 'the smart guy', because either Hater is too embarrassed to be "a smart nerd" or Hater just wanted to give Peepers something to feel superior about (which is a nice thing to do, but Hater is NOT NICE. HE IS MEAN! BAD!!!! A VILLAIN!!! ...right?). And then Hater roasts Peepers for being a beep boop bop lame nerd bc Hater can't express his feelings correctly lol.

Fr Peepers' reaction to Hater knowing space physics junk will never not be funny to me. I imagine back in the day that realization would have been a mid-life crisis of "oh grob he's SMARTER THAN ME?? SINCE WHEN? WILL I BE REPLACED? HAS HE BEEN PATRONIZING ME THIS WHOLE TIME BECAUSE I AM THAT PATHETIC TO HIM???" but now bc Peepers is so smitten and full of love for Hater it's a full blast of "oh my grob he's actually applying himself for once, I'm so proud, he's the greatest thing to ever exist, I'm so proud!!!!!!! I love him so much, sobbing crying tears!!!!!" LMAO. tfw ur inferiority/superiority complex gets stomped out by your undying love for your sir.

[yestrday]

have you ever thought about what academy!scara might look like? at first I envisioned him to take a more grunge route like this artists vision on twt (I love their work sm, u should def check them out!!) but then I re-read some of your academy mini-posts and headcanons and I'm not sure if this academy!scara would fit the grunge look 🤔 mainly because u mentioned in one of your older posts that he's very organized, so I imagine he'd also be organized with his appearance? especially if he's internally competing with ei, so he probably wants to dress nice as a way to feel like hes achieving in something??? or maybe he doesn't care for his appearance and only his grades?? AGGHH I JUST DONT KNOW!! idk how he would dress 😕 I have some ideas for the others, again basing some of them off Noah's own high-school au, but I just can't figure scara out 😭

but what do u think?? about scara? or any of the other boys/girls in the academy au? I know for the most part they'd be wearing uniforms but plsss I need your input on what u think they'd wear outside of school 🙏

scara is pretty much affiliated with one of the mst powerful families in teyvat, so he can't exactly come out wearing grunge and have the gossip articles making stuff up 😅 his wardrobe consists of slim silhouettes, casual enough to make him look like he's not actually trying hard, but respectable enough that you still take him seriously.

zhongli and diluc definitely love those tight vests (tho once upon a time they were super into the baggy pants look). kaeya is a tease and goes for the plunging necklines, or he'll just say 'fuck it' and never button up his shirts

xingqiu dresses like a sick victorian boy on the daily, not because he likes it, but cuz he's not allowed to choose his clothes. the twins are very trendy and casual, which is in line with their 'gram popularity. gotta look pretty 24/7 if they wanna rack up the likes.

[yewshade]

About the ASC #5 Wind blurb reveal

I already lowkey expected (or moreso feared) that the blurb for Wind would reveal a lot of what happened in Thunder before the book even comes out (just like it happened with the blurb for Thunder which revealed that Frostpaw had been injured at the end of Shadow before that book got released).

But this is taking it up a notch in terms of the amount of info getting spoiled before the book even comes out (heck, Thunder itself will get released in November and now has a lot of its content already on the table in June lol). Like, holy shit.

I honestly feel like they really need to stop making these blurbs so long and instead should consider going with a more vague route (or no blurbs at all, just the cover) tbh...

The major stuff from the blurb:

- Splashtail is going full villain mode (which I wanted to happen so I'm happy, good for him)

- Nightheart is indeed the warrior that goes with Frostpaw on her quest to the old territories

- There are two park cat who followed him home and might become Clan cats (wanted an 'outsider joins the Clans' storyline for this arc anyways so again, I'm very happy about this)

- Berryheart has been exiled for a treacherous act she committed (either Tigerstar found out she conspired with Splashtail or something else will happen in Thunder that lead to her getting banished) and is also ill but apparently still scheming (good for her since I love me a newer she-cat antagonist or even full on villain as there haven't been many who are all that popular or even memorable in the overall fandom except for Mapleshade, and Sleekwhisker to a lesser extent imo)

Here's the blurb to check: The adventure continues in the fifth book of the eighth pawsome story arc in Erin Hunter's #1 bestselling Warriors series! Frostpaw has returned to the lake just in time to reveal all she knows at the Gathering—but the Clans are reluctant to believe an apprentice who’s already admitted to lying about her visions in the past, and she is forced to take refuge in ShadowClan as Splashtail seizes control of her home. While the other Clan leaders debate whether to interfere any further in RiverClan affairs, Nightheart returns to ThunderClan. But what should be a happy reunion with his mate is more complicated than he or Sunbeam expected. Nightheart has his paws full teaching Clan ways to the two park cats who followed him home, and Sunbeam’s efforts to fit in as the newest member of ThunderClan are hampered by her concerns for her mother, who is paying for her treachery with exile and illness. As Berryheart’s schemes take an alarming new turn— and Splashtail’s ambitions turn toward violence—a few cats’ efforts may not be enough to preserve the peace.

[daylander1000]

Hi, I've recently discovered your fic and I absolutely love it! I'm currently reading chapter 8 and Aemond's list is such a great idea. He reminds me of Arya, but your version of him is even more interesting and likeable imho. Just one thing, I believe that the bastards born in KL/the Crownlands are called Waters, so the names of Aemond's nephews on the list would be Jacaerys and Lucerys Waters, not Rivers. This is not a criticism or anything, just a tiny detail a nerd like me noticed😅. Anyway, I'm in love with your writing and would like to know what is your opinion on Alicent in HotD. Her interactions and characterization in SWHHW is just what I imagined her to be as a mother, especially to Aemond after the eye loss. As for the show, I mostly liked her characterization until episode 8 and the whole "you'll make a fine queen" thing. After that I had mixed feelings about the route they decided to take with her.

Also, how did you get introduced to Rhaemond? Hints from the show, Tumblr...? It is an interesting ship with a lot of potential, but sadly not as popular as some others, at least not yet. Thanks in advance for your answer and for giving me something good to read:))

Nerds together, strong!

(sorry x1000 for taking so long to respond. Exams are done but I picked up an eyestrain 😒 This was half-answered in my drafts for a week? Very sorry.)

Criticism is fine! It's good! I mean, I would love 100% total praise, but I am honestly amazed that people love this. My ego is well pleased. 😅 Thank you (and everyone) for reading! Like, I would love to say that I write for the simple joy of it, but no. Readers make it worth doing.

I will confess that I didn't research this properly. I went with Harwin Strong > Riverlands > Rivers, but yeah. I've been out of the fandom for a minute and did not think it through. I have to edit this when I'm done so hopefully I remember to fix it. Will make a note.

My view on Alicent... Honestly, I'm almost at a point where I feel like any criticism of any non-Rhaenyra character is unfair because imo the writers aren't actually trying to create characters, they just contort everyone else to fit whichever role they need for Rhaenyra's plot, but okay, pros and cons? What I like versus dislike?

She's too apologetic, for one thing. I like the green dress scene, but it's so rare to see her show some teeth. I get it, that she really doesn't have all that much power, especially after Driftmark when she's watching her husband try to get their son to snitch on her so that he could have her tongue cut out, or have her tried for treason or killed or set aside or whatever Viserys was angling for in that scene, but I still wish she had a more proactive personality. More like Cersei, Catelyn, Margaery, Brienne, etc.

No way is Catelyn being gaslit into apologizing for being angry that Bran got pushed through a window, you know? Cersei might apologize but she'd also probably leave half the city blind by the time she's done getting her vengeance. I wanted some of that.

Half the fandom hates her for wanting Aegon on the throne instead of Rhaenyra and my problem is that she's not doing enough to make that happen. Everyone's living the grimdark life, playing the game of thrones, while she's a high fantasy damsel queen. They make her a sort of 'Trapped In the Wrong Genre'/'Not Built For This' character like Sansa and it's kinda hard to watch tbh.

I mean, she's more of a Good Wife™ than Alicia in the actual show named Good Wife. Rhaenyra wants to put Jace on the throne, and presumably Daemon, the family serial killer, would want to have his own son take the throne, either way, all Alicent's children and grandchildren will have to be killed to fully secure the throne since Westeros plays by Best Claim Wins but also Keep What You Kill rules. Why isn't she leading the charge to prevent that?

From her perspective she has witnessed the destruction of House Velaryon. Laenor, Laena and Vaemond dead, Baela and Rhaena, Daemon's own daughters disinherited and dismissed for Luke, the boy who cut her son's eye out without so much as a slap on the wrist. What does she think is waiting for her children and grandchildren under Queen Rhaenyra, King Daemon and then King Jace and Master of the Tides Luke?

It's not like she doesn't know how Rhaenyra feels about her children. When someone calls for your still bleeding child to be tortured - there's not a lot to misinterpret about that. Fans can be like "No, that happened a whole episode ago. Get over it! She meant to say gently questioned with cookies and tickles! Rhaenyra would never!" but Alicent isn't supposed to be a fan of Rhaenyra in the show.

Post time-skip, she's like “water under the bridge” when only minutes ago they were accusing her of poisoning the king. You cannot "water under the bridge" your enemies throwing you, your father and your children into highway traffic at every opportunity.

It's like they wrote her to be the show's butt-monkey. Daemon and Viserys literally laughing at her when she's just trying to be cordial, Rhaenys of all people gets to give her that "you have failed feminism" speech, Rhaenyra gets her “now they see you" moment...

Not even sure if butt-monkey is the right trope. She might be more of a Chew Toy? I don't understand why they're this determined to make her a permanent victim. With Sansa, there was the sense that she was being punished in a way for getting Ned killed, for being naive, childish, etc... Ned gets punished for his rigidity... People get "punished" in asoiaf world, but it's like Alicent's being punished for "seducing" grown ass Viserys? For not buying in wholesale to her Hightower inferiority and the natural order of Targaryen supremacy?

I don't understand the desire by the writers and the showrunners to keep kicking a character who is down and has never been up.

When you have one opponent being OP, the other one is usually powerful in some other equivalent way. Like superman has physical power but Lex gets social power and genius intellect.

Dr Manhattan is near omniscient/omnipotent but Ozy is smart enough to plan for that.

You would think it's supposed to be Aegon v Rhaenyra because they're both Viserys' Dragonrider children who stand to inherit, but S1 is entirely Alicent v Rhaenyra where Rhaenyra has

physical power in a dragon,

political power in being the named heir and Viserys' clear favorite with Corlys in her pocket,

childbirthing power (5 sons to Laena and Aemma's 0, and Alicent's 1, 2 or 3 depending on how you count it), and

social power with Daemon and Rhaenys killing for her without hesitation (or repercussion). Even Baela who barely knows her eagerly wants to go fight for her.

What does Alicent have to balance it out?

Instead of giving her the cunning tactician card, they make her dependent on Larys the Clubfoot with a Foot Fetish™

God, I'm ranting again.

I hate how Laena was written too, as a "Daemon's trying his best" Good Wife™ but it's hard to think about them as actual characters outside of simply being Rhaenyra's foils so of course I had to fix it up a little in swhhw.😅 It's mostly a fix-it fic for Rhaena, but if I were doing one for Laena or Alicent, I don't think Rhaena and Aemond would have even been born. I'm talking about serious murders from Day 1. 🤣 As soon as Aegon was born, we're going directly into a Queen Regent Single Mom Era and Vhagar is being fed on pedigree prince meat.

I hate HotD with the passion of a thousand sons, but I have a soft spot in my heart for the black characters and the ND/disabled/maimed characters.

Alicent already had my empathy from the beginning. I don't nail pick, but I hair-pull (BFRBs are a bitch) so, it's near impossible for me to be on the side of the Kool Kidz laughing at her, just personally speaking, regardless of how inconsistent/incoherent she's written.

I try to really avoid a lot of the discourse on hotd because of how ableist it is, but you still see so much of it. All the r-words thrown out for Aegon and Helaena, all the eye jokes on Aemond and the idea that Alicent has inferior/disabled children and grandchildren who should be killed... Like, in 2023, it's just sad that this is still a thing, but I'm always going to be team weirdos (endearing).

And being Team Rhaemond... I have a longer post where someone else asked me about it but it generally boils down to Tumblr and AO3. Basically:

The fanart on here... The Aemond fanart and headcanons are hilarious. Rhaena fanart is harder to come by but it exists.

The dinner staredown gifs. I completely misread that scene. I honestly thought Aemond was looking at Rhaena because I thought the kid was Joff. (I am moderately faceblind and I couldn't really tell them apart on first watch). I was also just kinda generally confused by how they were all sitting down to dinner to feast after Vaemond's murder earlier that day.

Rhaena's is painfully underwritten. I've never seen a character more in need of fanfiction than Rhaena.

This pic: (not mine, I just found it on Google but the original has Aegon in it. it's like a fanart "cover" of a real behind the scenes photo of Ewan and Phoebe and Bethany... )

The lack of Daemon-free Laena fics. I went to AO3 looking for Laena fics but I can't read Daemyra. I tried, but I can't and maybe 90% of Laena fics are actually Daemyra fics, so to avoid that I had to filter out daemon and Rhaenyra so I was left with nothing. And then I tried Baela, but they were only Jace x Cregan fics with more Daemyra. And then searching Rhaena led me to Rhaemond, and there were like 20 fics or so and I read them all, and then I came here for more fics but realized that between the Sirius Black tag and the Velaryon Strong!Reader tag and Visenya lives/Daemon's OC daughter that it would be near impossible to get an actual black reader, Velaryon reader, Rhaena, Baela or woc OC fic, and I was like "FFS, how did this fandom get worse? This is 2023!" and I decided on shipping rhaemond out of spite.