#i also have an idea about post-mortem children

[abundantchewtoys]

Wizardy Herbert theory

So, chronologically, what happened?

There exists a magical realm where time moves approximately 9.42 times faster than on Earth. The realm provides means for magical rites of passage and/or recreation for children, of a sort.

During Reagan's presidency, he alluded to his Chief Secretary about having spend a magical time at a summer camp. He also mentioned "you-know-who" being finally defeated, and the realm where the new Space Race against the Russians would be taking place. How did they access this realm in the first place? Well, magic exists on Earth, just weaker. Maybe both sides had a Manhattan thing going. In any case, they were able to replicate White House + bring over ships and aircraft.

Summer of 1996, Louis finished volume 1 of his summer camp story. By autumn 1997, he'd written all 7 volumes. None of which got published despite all being (presumably) equally "enthusiastic" as the first volume.

Louis entered his room, noticed his book on the desk open in the middle. One of the passages was altered. Not redacted, altered. Meaning someone was inside his story at that exact time. Someone took the place of a character in his story, and the Mobius Slipknot took the appearance the local McGuffin.

Who was inside, and who did they replace?

Louis reads a passage containing (somehow) the Slipknot (plot slipknot), or a passage that contains the properties of the Slipknot, in any case.

The next we see of him, he's dead, Slinus Marlevort and the McGuffin are redacted, and there's probably someone inside Louis' room, as Seymour finds the body. Since the plotknot has been slipped, Seymour reading that exact passage should have no effect.

Now, there's a version of Slinus on Earth, or so I believe. I also believe this is actually Grant! As hinted in Roxy's wizardfic, pre-deformity Slinus looks exactly like Grant. Consider: he's from Volume 1, and later Slinus would restore himself from Volume 7 of WH. In any case, he should have had his memory wiped. He may or may not be in the possession of a matroesjka doll. And the Slipknot.

Now, here things get dicey.

What may have happened: Did Louis accidentally wrote an exact account of Ronald Reagan's past, and did the man try to explore the story, accidentally leading to Grant's extraction?

Now, I think Grant, being amnesiac, had no idea what's going on but realizes he has some form of magical powers. He extracts Herbert, Beatrix, Russett, Slinus from Volume 7 by accident, or these three exit through other means. Slinus seems to keep his memories, at least shortly after extraction, as we see when Slinus summons his duplicate. Maybe the same holds for this version of Herbert & Beatrix & Russett.

Beatrix gets a hold of the Slipknot. Grant abandons ship in his matroesjka doll. Louis' corpse is sucked into the story somehow.

Louis, meanwhile, I wouldn't be surprised if he dropped dead way in the beginning of all this, from an all but magical heart attack.

Slinus is able to summon or recreate the Adorsmythe Tine and curses Herbert and Beatrix between autumn of 1997 and Christmas 1998. Also, at some point during Volume 1 and Volume 7, he got deformed, so he's not an older clone of Grant, in appearance. Meaning you wouldn't recognized one from knowing the other. Both need glasses, though.

Christmas 1998. After preparing in "Reagan's Realm" (where the man in question has some post-mortem failsafe in place, too, à la god-tier ascension), Older Herbert & Beatrix & Russett are almost dead from the curse.

Slinus has summoned Hastings from the book and set him on their trail. He knows part of their plan, but not all of it.

Older Russett & Beatrix summon younger versions of themselves and Herbert. But suddenly Grant shows up and kidnaps Russett. The matroesjka doll ends up in the hands (claws) of Terrence Rothshild, presumably another summon by Slinus, but who seems to recognized Reagan - more proof that Louis wrote Reagan's biography? Through some form of wild magic, Grants teleports part of a city to the middle of the ocean. There he'll stay for six years, with Russett. Where in the story they used to be the same age, by this point, he's 1.5 years Russett's senior.

Slinus summons Carmen, Daniel, Nemoira, Pycroft and others from the story while in Reagan's realm. This is how Nemoira knows Daniel isn't really "gone", she can still someone a younger version of him. Slinus is hellbent on recreating the summer camp, and focuses on skeletons and allowing Seymour to pose as Thundleshick, all because in the end, he's just written to act in this way.

Older Beatrix takes her "sister" away for safekeeping. In the commotion, Grant may have killed older Russett, leaving young Wizardy Herbert to do the dirty work in his stead and bury the corpse.

Older Herbert's fate is unknown. He did interact with Jamal however, posing as or assuming the role of Louis' brother. For whatever reason. Maybe to gain access to Reagan's Realm somehow, depending on how you access it when you have a lack of magic.

Maybe Reagan replaced Tristin Sheeth in the story during the autumn of 1997, maybe not. In any case, once young Beatrix is investigating Herbert, she gets a message from someone calling themselves "Tristin Sheeth". It wasn't a regular phone call, though it did seem to be a live connection. Maybe Tristin Sheeth is just an alias that Terrence Rothshild goes by, though.

Other loose ends (unslipped plotknots):

Is Slinus Marlevort really not an anagram? He’s definitely an amalgam: Draco Malfoy, Severus Snape and Lord Voldemort, wrapped into one.

Did Hussie intend to make the story itself a matroesjka doll? Like, having someone (an alive Louis, pre-death? or Ronald Reagan?) write the story of the "real world", allowing people to be summoned from Earth to Reagan's realm?

Was the last paragraph of the draft meant to show Herbert gaining access to Louis' memory alone, or was he going to merge with Louis' personality, kernelsprite-wise? I don't think the latter, or if so, I think Herbert's personality will dominate Louis' effortlessly.

[radical-desiderium]

The Myth of Brain Sex

There have been many small studies which claimed to have finally and decisively located a concrete sexual dimorphism in brains. In 1995, a Nature study confidently concluded that language-processing in women occurred more diffusely across the hemispheres of the brain than in men (Shaywitz, 1995). The study’s sample base was 38 right-handed people, 19 male and 19 female, making “small” a highly apt descriptor. In 2008, a meta-analysis of previous studies on sex differences in language lateralization refuted the results of the 1995 study, finding no difference in the execution of language tasks or the structure of the Planum Temporale involved therin, but interestingly enough, did conclude that males are more likely to be left handed (Sommer, 2008).

The rise of Magnetic Resonance Imaging, or MRI, has brought about a whole new avenue for studying the brain and subsequently reinvigorated the search for brain gender. One particular 2005 MRI study of 21 men and 27 women done by the University of California looked at correlations between IQ and grey matter in different areas of the brain (Haier, 2005). This study was, and I believe still is, particularly influential on the prevalence of brain dimorphism as a popular belief; it gained a great deal of public recognition, despite it having a small sample size that makes any results far less significant. A small study such as this could have some level of merit, but its conclusions would have to be confirmed by much larger studies, and the fact is that much of the public’s conclusions about the meaning of the study reach far further than the study justifies. A further 2021 meta-analysis of 3 decades of MRI and post-mortem data attributes the difference in the ratio of grey matter observed in the 2005 study to the difference in brain size between males and females, which is about an 11% average difference between an adult male and an adult female, with male brains being larger (Eliot, 2021). The difference in brain size can also explain differences in regional cortical volumes and inter- or intra-hemispheric connectivity. When comparing across populations, the study found minimal consistent differences in male and female brains other than brain size. In her article discussing the idea of brain sex, which she refers to as neurosexism, neuroscientist Lise Eliot points out that many neurological studies similarly do not control for brain size, thereby unconsciously increasing apparent male-female difference (Eliot, 2019).

In her 2019 book the Gendered Brain, neuroscientist Gina Rippon likens the process of the publishing and refuting of studies claiming brain dimorphism to a game of whack-a-mole. I find this to be a highly fitting metaphor. The idea of brain sex is not new, and the concept has plagued science for centuries. A new study always rears its head, claiming to have succeeded where all previous studies have failed, and it shortly proceeds to become obsolete, but not before it gets misconstrued and twisted by public misinterpretations which are then perpetuated long past the study. So if the evidence has never been strong for brain sex, why does the myth persist? In my humble opinion, it persists regardless of the evidence stacking against it because people want to believe it. They want to believe that there’s something inherent to it, that gender resides in the brain, that you’re born liking pink or liking blue, because they want to justify the society in which they live and the way they live as simply natural. If you believe in brain sex, you don’t have to fix existing societal inequalities. Instead of addressing the prejudices and biases that prevent women from seeking careers in STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics), you can simply say that women are just not as mathematically-minded and the disparity results from that. Instead of confronting the idea that gender roles are enforced on children from birth, you can say that women inherently like pink and all that follows. There’s no need to challenge any existing beliefs or examine your own actions. Believing in brain sex is easier than acknowledging the omnipresent influence of culture. Psychologist Cordelia Fine put it most succinctly:

“Popular neurosexism permits us to sit back and relax, with its seemingly neat explanation of our social structure and personal lives. The answer, ‘Oh, it’s the brain,’ offers a tidy justification for accepting the status quo with clear conscience (Fine, 2008).”

Works Cited under the cut:

Eliot, L., Ahmed, A., Khan, H. et al. Dump the “dimorphism”: Comprehensive synthesis of human brain studies reveals few male-female differences beyond size. Neuroscience and Biobehavioral Reviews 125, 667-697 (2021). https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neubiorev.2021.02.026

Eliot, L. Neurosexism: the myth that men and women have different brains. Nature, 566, 453–454 (2019). https://doi.org/https://doi.org/10.1038/d41586-019-00677-x

Fine, C. Will Working Mothers’ Brains Explode? The Popular New Genre of Neurosexism. Neuroethics 1, 69–72 (2008). https://doi.org/10.1007/s12152-007-9004-2

Haier, R., Jung, R., Yeo, R. et al. The neuroanatomy of general intelligence: sex matters. NeuroImage 25, 320-327 (2005). https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neuroimage.2004.11.019

Shaywitz, B., Shaywltz, S., Pugh, K. et al. Sex differences in the functional organization of the brain for language. Nature 373, 607–609 (1995). https://doi.org/10.1038/373607a0

Sommer, I., Aleman, A., Somers, M. et al. Sex differences in handedness, asymmetry of the Planum Temporale and functional language lateralization. Brain Research 1206, 76-88 (2008). https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brainres.2008.01.003

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

What is, in your opinion, the greatest thing The Doctor ever did, as well as the worst thing they ever did?

So. I'm going to choose two moments for each question. One in terms of the scale, the amount of good or bad that was done, and the second in terms of the personal, how it affected the "unimportant" people. Basically, the greatest and worst things The Doctor ever did for everyone versus for just one person. Also, here's my typical disclaimer that I've not seen the classic series other than a handful of episodes.

It's difficult to top The Day of The Doctor. I'm not sure there's anything that could rival saving Gallifrey. I can't tell you how much the hope burgeoned in my heart when it got to the point of "Gentlemen, I have had four hundred years to think about this...I've changed my mind." I didn't dare believe it, but I also didn't understand why they kept talking about it. Since if they were going to do it, The War Doctor's quiet "Thank you..." would have been the place to end that scene. Throughout the movie, they tease at the idea that The War Doctor might make a different choice, and as a viewer, you're wondering what the point is. "They don't know it's still up to you." The Moment says, and the audience is thinking "But it's not. It's a foregone conclusion." Only it wasn't. That scene where all of The Doctors "All THIRTEEN!" make a return to save Gallifrey gets me every time. Also, the "I've changed my mind" scene was the first time The Sheppard's Boy, my favorite Doctor Who track, played. But back then it was called "This time there's three of us." Seriously, I know the rest of the show didn't do as much with this as it should have, but I still get emotional every time Eleven talks about how he finally knows where he's going - home.

But rescuing an entire planet is grand in scale, and while 2.47 billion children saved is nothing to sneeze at, let's talk about something more down to earth. Let's talk about Vincent and The Doctor. It was a tough toss up on this one and The Fires of Pompeii, but I just get choked up every time I watch that scene. You know the one. Where The Doctor brings Vincent forward in time to show him that he is appreciated post mortem. That he becomes a legendary artist. Watching Vincent overhear the speech about his painting just chokes me up, and the music only makes it all the more beautiful. The Doctor summed it up perfectly at the end. True, Vincent still killed himself, history still played out the same way. But that's alright. Even The Doctor can't cure a person's mental illness. But he and Amy made Vincent's life better, that's what counts. They added to his pile of good things. At times when Vincent was sinking into despair, he could look back on meeting them, remember what they showed him, remember that one day, his work would be appreciated. For an artist, that is so incredibly personal and it's just...as someone who likes to write myself, I'm not sure I can explain how much something like that would mean to me. This episode just deals with mental health in such a brilliant and sensitive fashion. Aw man, it might be my favorite episode, I don't know.

So, we've talked about the good...let's cover the bad.

In terms of scale and the amount of damage it caused, I'm going to say the worst thing The Doctor ever did was engineer the downfall of Harriet Jones. I have always had a problem with this. The trouble with The Doctor is that there's often a power struggle between him and the authorities of the planet, but while UNIT can keep him in check, regular old politicians cannot. I'm not saying that I agree with Harriet's decision, but it was hers to make. The Sycorax had invaded Earth and threatened the lives of billions of people, tried to sell them into slavery. No, Doctor, it is not "murder" for an Earth representative to execute them for that. It's not like there were any civilians on that ship. Again, I'm not saying it was the right choice, but The Doctor can't go around deposing leaders that the humans rightfully elected just because he disagrees with their decisions. Plus, what he did ultimately paved the way for The Master to set himself up as Harold Saxon, which ultimately caused The Year That Never Was. I know, The Doctor had no way of knowing that would happen...but it's a fine example of why he cannot just go around fucking with Earth's politics like that. He messed with history, too! Harriet was supposed to have three terms, and it was said to be a golden age! "Don't challenge me, Harriet Jones." Doctor, this is her planet, and she's representing the Earth. This is her turf. You're the one challenging her.

But as far as the smaller scale, the stuff he did to singular people, who didn't deserve it? (So excluding folks like Solomon the Trader, for example) I'm going to say it was making Ashildr immortal. Of all people, The Doctor should know better than to inflict something like that on someone, and it's abundantly clear that Ashildr wishes it never happened. Yes, it was tragic that she died so young. But this is not the alternative, and the eons of pain and loneliness that she had endure as a result? That's on him. She didn't agree to this, and it's made her miserable. "You didn't save my life, Doctor. You trapped me inside it." Despite this, The Doctor acts far too high and mighty the next time he runs into her, like he's in any position to judge Ashildr for how she copes. Refusing to take her with him because "it wouldn't be good" even though it is the least he could do after what he's done. His reasoning being that immortals shouldn't travel together - well it's not like it's her fault that she's one of them, Doctor. It's your fault. You made this mess, and you refuse to clean it up, but you also keep "surveillance" on Ashildr. My, how the tables have turned. Remember when it was The Timelords keeping an eye on The Doctor, trying to restrict him? Sure, this comes back to haunt him later when saving Ashildr ultimately results in Clara's death...but hey, he found a way around that too, right?

[snow-wind-and-all-we-will-find]

Hi! My names arthur and im working on improving my word and building my story, which currently has no name haha! I have a myriad of characters who ill try to list out and give brief descriptions of, aether is technically my main character and some of the characters who are up for question are dead in canon. But you can still ask them stuff, itll just be set before death.

When asking characters questions, rememeber to include the name, their age if theres diffrent ages, i dont mind repeated questions, but if you see the question try not to ask it again lol. If you cant find it with a quick scroll just ask it, although i dont know if this blog will even get that big.

Aether

He comes in three evolutions lol, technically, theres four but idk if i would count 7 year old aether.

Ages: 13 yo - colder, hasnt gotten used to emotions, there are two to this as well, pre-rev and then post-rev 13 yo aether, remember to specify lol.

16 yo- a bit more out there, still kinda disconnected and figuring things out, a bit more defensive

22 yo- lax, hes sorta figured shit out, hes not going to go grazy, hes just gonna be chill lol.

!The gaggle Ghosts!

Yurei

Her personality is very, ehhh, becuase i havnt done work with her, and i havnt completly figured out who she is fully yet, shes 18 yo when aether is 22 yo

18 yo- pretty oblivious, somehow still a bit cynical, very nice and sometimes motherly

Kakoku

Few thousand- mean, likes to bully yurei as he huants her, lowkey a simp for yurei but he wont admit that. Kinda cynical and likes to bring others down, generally a bully

Tamashi

19- emotionless, has to be a really strong emotion to make her emote, tends to stray away from other people, likes to be alone, blunt

Gunnar

A few thousand- sweet, warm and welcoming, tries to be very fatherly and a trusted figure, is very busy most of the tiime unfortunatly though.

!The greek gang!

Argus agapov

16- unstable, pretty baby, protective over friends and family

Mythos agapov

23- whore. He also loves his family, lowkey, hes a trad wife

Perceus

15/16- timid, intrested in posiosn and acids, generally quiet, likes to eat leaves, scaredy cat

Diogenes

14- germ of phobe, kind of a brat, more just a bitch, will yell at you if he sees your hands were dirty from gardening or something while you’re walking to the sink, other than that hes fine, picky eater

Herodotus

15- disorginized, trys his best, likes to write stuff down, helps plato with his writing and grammar in general, gullible, likes record data, has a nice typewriter with tha good clicky clack

Plato

8- sweet baby boi, loves his older brother (socrates), idolizes him even, not a good idea though. He writes down everything socrates does, sometimes he imitates his brother as well.

Socrates

17- dumb of ass, also just dumb, held back a grade, feral child, bites alot of people, soft aestechic but hed stab as a warning

Heracles

30- also dumb of ass, loves cars in that ‘mah babeh’ kinda way. Hates motorcycles, he thinks they’re ugly. Chaotic but he utilizes it to be the weird and cool uncle/cousin thing

Zeus

46- too tired for this shit, is a dad, went out to get milk, jk jk, dissapeared for a hot few years, probably got captured by some gang dunno, it happens. Very serious, would make the dumbest jokes with his brothers with a straight face

Hades

50- lowkey the neglected middle child, soft goth lookin ass, loves his kid, tries his best to raise his kid, sometimes gets help from esme

Poseidon

57- proud stay at home dad, buff but does the typically wifely duties, makes sure his children get enough love, nutrience and care

Lillith

54- very active, the money maker, kinda soft, both her and her husband poseidon are so just in love with their kids, dote on them constantly, very extroverted, always makes time for her kids

Esme

51- tired of zeus’ shit, does her best to make sure no one dies, still treats mythos as her ‘little baby boy, tired mom vibes.

!the Eden gang!

Eden is a fictional country that i slapped onto the globe. It is where aether is from, technically aether is apart of the eden gang as well. Everyone here, if they have an age option, the first age option is the age they are when aether is 13, and the second will be when aether is 16 unless stated otherwise

General kyelli

49- fatherly, thinks of most of the gang as his children, calls everyone ‘son’, as a general rule. If you ask for another nickname, he will do his best. Has a bad knee, and is kinda of bad at existing physically

52+- fatherly still, loves almonds, always has a bag of almonds, dont test him. Enjoys travel, might adopt people he meets along the way, still has pains but now he sees doctors, wants to stay active

Indigo

13- sweet, optimistic, always looks on the brightside and tries to see the good in others. Little heater, understands that sometimes fighting is the only option

Akrano

16- lively, very loose and relax, can get serious when needed though, always making jokes and trying to lighten up the mood

19- a bit more, mellow. Still quite lively and childish, but with two signifigant-others you have to settle down sometimes

Ekrano

16- lively, more stern than akrano and kinda worried, but ultimatly also very loose and bright

Lilliana

16- serious, seemingly colder towards everyone, gets along great with psycho-lops, makes him new eye-patches to pass time, actually just very monotone and blank most of the time, although she does care

19- she doesnt change much, she got a bit more expressive, likes babysitting howl

Psycho-lops

16 1/2- always looks determined, actually kinda scared of conflict, likes to help out with healing though, very proficient in it as well, sounds intimidating while talking about how cute puppies and kittens are

19/20- still the same, is considering studying medicine and medical practices to become a doctor.

Bark

17- bright, incredibly lively, loves to joke around and tease and sometimes bully the others, targets aether primarily, hangs out with his brother most of the time, he can fight for himself but he likes the backup, especcially since he is kinda glass-jawed, being that hes a twig

Bite

17- quiet, intense eyes, always sounds vaugly confused when he speaks, deep voice lol, likes to train, doesnt understand barks need to tease others, likes to read to the children

20- quiet, intense eyes still, more so nervous sounding, slightly paranoid, cluastrophobic and cant stand dusty places, usually in his house or at the docks, doesnt really go anywhere else

Hanelle

17- loud, headstrong, adamant about her opinions, gets along well with bark, she tries alot to be intimidating, not a twig, but not very big, pretty friendly and sociable

!the band of pirates!

Aklea

A few hundreds of years- kinda bored seeming, loves blood, technically cannibal, but not really since he isnt human, to an extent. Despite being fine on the ocean, he gets very car sick very easily. Actually quite nice, very easily triggerd into violence, especcially by something that could be used as a good murder weapon, blood makes him jittery and more lively

Nerone

21- calm, too calm, deals with akleas bullshit wonerfully, he just stands there, blank smile on his face as aklea beats the shit outta someone, unintrested in most anything, likes to draw, but hes a much better pastry chef.

!the shakespears!

Midem(pink boi)

33- lively, loves to work with kids, very creative, likes to make things, mainly art, mainly carvings. Often make little minitures of scenes from midens writing, loves his twin, does anything it takes to fund midens intrests. Very loving to those hes close to

Miden

33- calmer by alot lmao, pretty introverted but he can hold a long conversation without becoming too drained, enjoys writing and making stories, also makes plays for fun, runs off little sleep cuase he stays up so late to write, and gets up early to write.

!gods!

Gideon

9 billion- confused boomer, loves his ‘children’, hates to be hated, always tries to help in anyway he can, despite making them, always curious into what mortals are doing, loves the universe he created and does anything he can to protect it

Merik

7 million- sore loser, does get a little salty, ultimatly bounces back and becomes a very good sport, always will adopt tactics, whatever it takes to win within the rules, keeps most all of his trophies from random feats hes done

Ventus

5 billion - calm, straightforward, tends to disregard others and do things himself, likes to sit on cliffs and watch the ocean

Kyle

Hes been around since 776 bc- very loud, lively, bright, tries his best to educate people on proper form, workout regime i intesne, doesnt allow others to take it, makes custom workout regimes for free, owns a gym, dude bro but hes nice, baby

Horo-sha

Her age technicaly is not accurate, shes like, 2 billion? Since dima was made right after her death. But since her history still lives, ima count it

5 billion but older than ventus- bitter, violent, former god of justice, fucking dead haha, hates mortals, primarily humans

Dima

Also not super accurate, hed only be a few centuries of being an active god before being sealed, but since hes technically, concious and has cognitive function hes counted

3 billion- mean lol, likes blood and gets even more violent when it starts getting messy, ‘new’ god of justice, uh, pretty bad at it like the last one, but worse, will kill over slight misdeameanors, everythings a crime smh

!misc!

Ivan

24- softspoken, from imperial russia, died young, he no longer feels his face is his own, has a mask that he likes better, has the sickness, but since he was human it killed him, can control it post mortem, is strong enough to be seen, but weak enough he can go invisible and go through solid objects.

More ocs will be added when i remember them, or create new ones, characters i dont really have built at all are not included

[manuscripts-dontburn]

The Doll Factory

Author: Elizabeth Macneal

First published: 2019

Pages: 336

Rating: ★★★★★

How long did it take: 3 days

I felt that this book, while perhaps not exceptional, was very well put together. It was paced just right and the sense of growing dread escalates in a way which kept me glued to the page. Truly well written historical fiction.

Heaven and Hell: A History of the Afterlife

Author: Bart D. Ehrman

First published: 2020

Pages: 352

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 2 days

I am rather conflicted about this book. Firstly, as a Christian bordering on agnosticism (I have never been a part of any church and my family is completely atheistic), I felt both somehow comforted by Ehrman´s deductions and somewhat resentful at the same time. Not because he very convincingly talks about the changing of religious perspectives (I am a historian myself so that information was only natural), but because he is clearly working with the notion of non-existence of God, not really treating it as a possibility. That, however, is my own personal issue. Objectively speaking, this is a very good book. Though academic in tone, it reads quite easily and is obviously well researched. The title, however, is misleading. Like many others, I had expected this to be a study of VARIOUS theories of afterlives, but 80% of the book is focused on early Christianity only. Not that isn´t fascinating, but for people hoping to learn something about other religions and cultures and their post-mortem ideas, it can only represent a big disappointment. So - know what you are getting, have an open mind and you might find this book a worthy addition to your personal library.

Wuthering Heights The Graphic Novel

Author: Emily Brontë, John M. Burns

First published: 2011

Pages: 160

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 1 day

I don´t think there is much to review. I love the original book. I enjoyed its re-imagining here.

The Vanishing

Author: Sophia Tobin

First published: 2017

Pages: 390

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

How long did it take: 3 days

This was sort of OK I guess??? The beginning was promising, but I lost interest in the latter half, which also became somewhat convoluted. Not very memorable, though Sophia Tobin´s writing style is fine. I would not mind trying another book by her in the future.

The Mercies

Author: Kiran Millwood Hargrave

First published: 2020

Pages: 352

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 7 days

Stunningly-written and deeply moving, this book has really only one weakness. It somewhat drags in the middle. But the atmosphere is alive and palpable and the emotions pure and real. There are many other books dealing with the topic of witch-trials, but few manage to be as powerful as well as respectfully restrained. Hargrave as an author knows how to keep the balance and her book beautiful.

The Wizard of Oz and Other Wonderful Books of Oz: The Emerald City of Oz and Glinda of Oz

Author: Frank L. Baum

First published: 1900, 1910, 1920

Pages: 432

Rating: ★★★☆☆

How long did it take: 5 days

This book is not commonly known in my country and so I have only read it for the first time now when I am over thirty. It definitely has its charm, especially the first volume, which holds some beautiful truths one wishes to teach the children (or adults). The Emerald City of Oz and Glinda of Oz are both mostly just a flight of fancy with no actual conflict. In fact, the danger to any of the characters is so nonexistent it begs the question of "why should I care". Not bad, but perhaps I would have loved it more if I was 5, not 33. Mea culpa.

Vasilisa the Wise and Other Tales of Brave Young Women

Author: Kate Forsyth

First published: 2017

Pages: 103

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 1 day

Very sweet retelling of several classic fairytales in which the girl saves herself (even if she needs some help by others, and the others are never the prince).

S.

Author: J.J. Abrams, Doug Dorst

First published: 2013

Pages: 456

Rating: ★★★★★

How long did it take: 19 days

This book felt like an acid trip with Umberto Eco or something in a similar vein to me. I was rather terrified that the whole thing would be completely dependant on the unusual format, but to my delight, the format merely enhances and enriches the actual novel, which in itself is dark, confusing, moving, terrifying, philosophical and weirdly fascinating. I am sure a lot has escaped my attention or flew over my head, but I welcome it because it gives me more reason to return to the book in the future. It was not all flawless though. My biggest gripe, as an actual Czech person, is that even though so much effort and thought went into the creation of this book, the author decided that Google translate will do just fine - and no surprise - it did not. There are not many instances of the Czech language being used, but when it is... it is all wrong. The Czech language is quite difficult and complex and Google translate does not know how to deal with it most of the time. Just one example: In the book, Eric writes OPICE TANCE on the wall and says it is Czech for "MONKEY DANCES". Yeah. Yeah, it is. IF THE WORD "DANCES" IS TAKEN AS A NOUN IN PLURAL. The correct translation would be "OPICE TANČÍ" and trust me it IS a big big difference. (Do not get me started on the vintage newspaper article....) You definitely need a lot of brainpower and focus when reading, this is not an easy book to follow. You also need to accept that not all questions are answered. I am glad I read it though. I found it an interesting experience.

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

Author: J.R.R. Tolkien

First published: 1954

Pages: 407

Rating: ★★★★★

How long did it take: 3 days

What can I say? Yet again I had goosebumps and tears in my eyes. Few, very few books have the power of this one.

Mexican Gothic

Author: Silvia Moreno-Garcia

First published: 2020

Pages: 301

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 12 days

I don´t have much to say but I was a bit bored at the beginning, but it turned out to be a pretty wild ride.

Aristokratka u královského dvora

Author: Evžen Boček

First published: 2020

Pages: 184

Rating: ★★★☆☆

How long did it take: 1 day

Miluji celou tuto sérii, bohužel tento díl mi, ač stále zábavný, přišel prozatím nejslabší... Měla jsem pocit, že první polovina knihy opustila můj oblíbený, laskavý humor teenagerky, která se musí potýkat s výstřední rodinou a situací, a sklouzává spíše trochu k upřímné krutosti... Doufám, že další pokračování se vrátí ke své laskavosti.

The Splendid and the Vile: A Saga of Churchill, Family and Defiance During the Blitz

Author: Erik Larson

First published: 2020

Pages: 608

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 2 days

An excellent and above all readable account of a chapter in the WW2 history. Larson explains well why Churchill was the best man for that dark hour and why he is still viewed as a hero in Europe (his questionable and even abhorrent views and actions in the context of the British Empire and people of other races notwithstanding), as the person who stood up to Hitler and pretty much kept the fires of defiance burning. There is definitely not enough "family" in this "family saga", but given the sheer amount of material and information presented to the reader, I suppose the author struck an acceptable balance between the politics and the private matters.

Conjure Women

Author: Afia Atakora

First published: 2020

Pages: 416

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 8 days

The beginning of this book seemed tiring, and at risk of sounding insensitive, not interesting, since it seemed to tackle the same things that have already been tackled. But then there appeared strands of stories and of secrets, and suddenly I just needed to know everything. The whole story then appears as an artful mosaic. The last chapter felt unnecessary though and I did not understand its meaning if it was supposed to have any.

[drunkkenobi]

Catt’s Favorite BuzzFeed Unsolved Episodes

This Friday (March 27, 2020) BuzzFeed Unsolved is going to air its 100th episode! I have no idea if they’ll acknowledge it, but exciting all the same. In celebration of it, and because watching two dummies ghost hunt and talk murder is actually a good use of everyone’s time right now, I’m going to list my Top 10 Supernatural and Top 10 True Crime episodes. (But first, subscribe to Watcher)

BFU Supernatural Top 10

10. The Haunted Quarters of the Dauphine Orleans Hotel - Both New Orleans episodes are a hoot and a half, but I give the edge to the Dauphine because of the bedsharing, the spooky footsteps, “I STOLE THEM OFF A WOMAN WHO DIED ON THE TITANIC”,  and, of course, two ghost bros chillin’ in a jacuzzi tub six inches apart.

9. The Search for the Mysterious Mothman - While this episode is so enjoyable (the pizza, the ogling of the Mothman statue, the Mothman calls, etc.) on its own, I love it so much for introducing Mothman into the BFU mythos. I think about Ryan saying he’d ride Mothman for life almost every day of my own life.

8. The Hunt for La Llorona - The Weeping Woman - Yes, a sponsored episode made my top 10 and it’s because Curly is a goddamn treasure and brought out so much weird chaotic horniness in Ryan. Also they got some spooky spirit box answers at the cemetery.

7. The Subterranean Terrors of the London Tombs - The best Unsolved episodes are when some spooky stuff actually happens (as it does here, with some unexplained noises and a light turning off), but what freaks Ryan out the most is just a very normal haunted maze attraction. Magnifique. 

6. The Mysterious Disappearance of the Roanoke Colony - This one is just so fucking funny. Ryan’s theories getting increasingly bonkers are always a fun staple, but never better than when he gets to drop that “the Roanoke colonists turned into zombies” bomb on Shane who throws Timmy’s ball he’s so mad.

5. The Unbelievable Horrors of the Old City Jail - a newbie, but still worthy of the top 10. Yes, Ryan’s freakout on his solo investigation is what makes this one, but we can’t forget the completely bizarre bellybutton courting and Ryan and Shane’s rap. Nor the way Shane very softly greets Ryan after his freakout.

4. Return to the Horrifying Winchester Mansion - I love the Winchester mansion, it’s a place I’d love to visit someday. (I don’t think it’s all that haunted, I just think it’s neat). The boys return is very fun, especially their overnight stay in separate rooms. Ryan’s running monologue of begging the ghosts to stay away from him (even though he’s there to collect evidence of their existence) is never funnier than here. It also gave us an all-time moment in the Post-Mortem where Ryan admitted that Shane provided him a great deal of comfort.

3. Three Horrifying Cases of Ghosts and Demons - The one that started it all. It remains a favorite (and their most watched) for a reason. The original Winchester ghost hunt and the Island of the Dolls are good enough on their own, but it’s Sallie House that made the show into what we all know and love today. Ryan screaming at a flashlight, Shane laughing at Ryan screaming at a flashlight...that’s it, that’s the show.

2. The Terrors of the Yuma Territorial Prison - “This episode is underrated!!!” she screamed from the rafters. Shane is in a very odd mood in this one, insisting to Ryan that he did hear some strange footsteps (and Ryan doesn’t seem to believe him), he gets into an argument with a possible ghost on the spirit box, “I’m strange and OFF-PUTTING!”, that goofy ass gift shop investigation, and then there’s the bats. It’s a great thrill to see what Shane is like when he’s actually a little freaked out, and it’s, as always, an even greater one to see Ryan reduced to tears.

1. The Demonic Goatman’s Bridge - Is it an obvious #1? Yes. Does that make it any less worthy? No. One of my favorite things about this episode is that Shane’s iconic antagonizing of Goatman happens in the first half of the episode. Then they have to go into the woods and yell about cult stuff and be afraid of real people hanging out in said woods after! The energy started chaotic (”Are you taking off your pants? We’re in public!”) and never stopped from there. An absolute classic and it always, always makes me laugh. 

BFU True Crime Top 10

10. The Historic Disappearance of Louis LePrince - I think season 3 of True Crime is really strong, in general. As a true crime fan, it had a lot of cases I had never heard before and I think they’re all pretty interesting, this one included. I also like that it gave Shane a chance to shit on Thomas Edison. He deserved it.

9. The Odd Vanishing of Amelia Earhart - Like Shane, I do like to imagine Amelia crash landing among the crabs. It’s a good mix of a classic mystery we all know a little about and the boys taking it to the extremes.

8. The Enigmatic Death of the Isdal Woman - One of the best directed episodes of Unsolved (great job Sara), I really enjoy all the flourishes this episode has. Plus, it’s a great mystery. Yeah, she was probably a spy, but that’s only one part of the story. 

7. The Terrifying Axeman of New Orleans - The boys have a lot of fun with this, especially the rumors that the Axeman was somehow supernatural and able to shrink down to enter doors. 

6. The Creepy Murder in Room 1046 - One of those mysteries I had never heard before and I was totally enthralled for this episode because of it. I’ve even heard this on other True Crime programs since then, but Ryan and Shane talking about it is still much more interesting and entertaining to me. This episode did introduce us to the running joke that will not die, Ricky Goldsworth, but it’s helped by the realization that Ryan 100% named his ~evil alter ego after his childhood dog.

5. The Thrilling Gardner Museum Heist - This one holds a special place in my heart because it was the episode that really hooked me on the show. It wasn’t the first I watched (that would be Bobby Mackey’s), but it was the one that interested me enough to keep clicking around on YouTube to keep watching these two cute doofuses. It’s also a very fun mystery since no one dies.

4. The Disturbing Murders at Keddie Cabin - One of the most visually stunning episodes of BFU, the boys trip to the Keddie Cabins is one of the most genuinely unsettling episodes. The rainy day and glances of townspeople watching them poke around the remnants of the cabin where a woman and children were brutally murdered really add to the mood, especially because of the rumors that town and police corruption are why these remain unsolved.

3. The Mysterious Death of the Eight Day Bride - Ah, the polyamorous episode, as I refer to it in my head. It was nice to see them tackle a case that included a possible queer angle and treat that part of it pretty respectfully. It was also nice for Ryan to compare himself to the third wheel of the story when talking about hanging out with Shane and Sara all the time. (this episode also gets a slight boost for having the best Post-Mortem of all time. He would ride Mothman for life, y’all.)

2. The Strange Disappearance of DB Cooper - It’s just hilarious. They have a ball discussing one of the biggest American mysteries of the 20th century, nearly choking on their bourbon and sodas, “SPRING BREAK!!!”, and laughing at the “phantom of the sky”. 

1. The Treacherous Treasure Hunt of Forrest Fenn - Ryan Bergara emerging from a Best Western bathroom dressed up as Indiana Jones while Shane stares in stunned silence is the greatest 3 seconds this show has ever produced. I will not be taking critiques at this time.

No, but seriously, this episode is a full-on blast. I love how different it is from anything else they’ve ever done. I love the “over-produced montages”. I love the actual thrill when Ryan sees that square rock. I, obviously, love the Indiana Bergara of it all. I love that they really did do a lot of research into where to look for Fenn’s treasure. I loved their stupid Post-Mortem outfits and renting an expensive car all for a stupid bit because that’s why I love these two dummies. They delight each other so much with their similar bullshit and sense of humor and it’s never more apparent and charming to me than this episode. 

[yeonchi]

Kisekae Insights #20: Sea Princesses Part 4 (Answering the Barracuda Kingdom saga and more post-mortem updates)

“Sea Princesses… Now that’s a name I haven’t heard in a long time.” – in response to a Brazilian Twitter meme

This is the first time I’ve revisited a completed segment to add more content to it. Back in #13, I teased a storyline for Soulbound Series 4 that answers the mysteries of the Barracuda Kingdom saga and Duante from Sea Princesses. At the time, I was taking a break from writing the story due to the coronavirus lockdown, but a couple of months ago, I was finally able to finish it and continue writing new stories. The embargo date I set for the story’s premiere has passed, so I want to take the first opportunity I can to share it with you all. Also, I want to address a few Sea Princesses-related things that have come up, but that will come later. Let’s get right into it.

Prerequisite requirements

Even though this is a Soulbound story, the characters from that series have very little involvement in the two-parter – in fact, only three minor characters show up and they mostly help the others in the fighting (I’m not good at working with large casts lel). That is why I’m able to tell this story to you without spoiling anything else.

The following Sea Princesses episodes are required viewing in order to understand this story:

The Lost Kingdom

The New Princess

The Guardians

The Healer

Reviewing the previous instalments of Kisekae Insights covering Sea Princesses (#11, #12 and #13 linked above) is recommended, but not required. The only main assumption made is that the Dryland girl (Windy) and her mother from The New Princess are descendants of the lost Barracuda Royal Family.

Lorah’s backstory

In #11, I wrote that Lorah wasn’t known to be a part of any royal family, but before continuing with the writing of the story, I found some introductory material I wrote in 2018 that stated that Lorah was the Barracuda Prince. I almost couldn’t remember writing it, but instead of making plans to change it later, I decided to utilise that plotline I forgot for three years (because I forgot to mention it in Decade, but I’ll fix it eventually).

Years ago, when the Barracuda Palace was destroyed in an earthquake, Lorah and a few of the royal family’s servants were thought to have died when they were forced to flee. Unbeknownst to them however, Lorah and the servants were saved by their fellow barracuda who had arrived to see what was going on. Lorah was taken to the Farlands, where he was raised by his family’s servants before he returned to Salacia some time after the end of the Time War. The kings and queens recognised him and allowed him to become a general in the Salacian Army, granting him a castle in the Turtle Kingdom to use as a base along with an army of Oni Riders. Nobody brought anything up about his family because they had no clue where they were.

Windy’s backstory

As I stated in #13, the name of the “new princess” is Windy Adams, a tribute to the namesake character of the third Sea Princesses main series book, The Windy Letters. Windy is 24 years old during her appearance in the two-parter, meaning that she would have been 7 years old during The New Princess. You could argue that she looks older, but then you could say the same for Polvina, Ester and Tubarina who are noted to be 7 years old in the official sources.

Fast forward to The Lost Kingdom, where the barracuda learnt that if they helped rebuild the destroyed Barracuda Palace, then there might be a chance that their royal family would return. They were happy for a bit, but then they became grumpy again because their royal family never returned… or so they thought.

Fast forward to The New Princess, where Polvina, Ester and Tubarina were left with more questions than answers after testing Windy, who had already left the island with her marine archaeologist mother by then, to see whether she really was the Barracuda Princess. Many questions are raised; how could a Drylander have read a book written in Salacian? Could someone else have gone onto the island and left “Goodbye friends” in the sand? No, Windy and her mother were the only ones on the island. They had the bracelet from the Barracuda Kingdom with them, so they might have been able to use that to read the book that Polvina had left on the island, but even then, how would they have been able to do it? Assuming that all this is true, then why were the barracuda being happy around Windy?

In 2018, Windy’s family was killed by Dai-Shocker when they attacked Santos. Though Yuki Yamaki and Marcela managed to confirm their links to the Barracuda Royal Family, Windy’s body was never found. The answer to all these questions can be explained with a simple explanation combining numerous elements. Speaking of which…

Duante’s backstory

In The Guardians, we learn that the goddess Salacia appointed the blowfish to be the guardians of Salacia, then covered it up by making each royal family’s history books say that their respective families were the guardians and tearing the respective pages out of the only public version in the Great Library of Salacia. As a result, the blowfish can speak to anyone they wish and be understood by them. Though the blowfish request Polvina, Ester and Tubarina to keep their discovery a secret, Hiroki and Duante are privy to this due to their contact with the goddess Salacia – this is referred to when Ester subtly reacts to them mentioning this secret.

In The Healer, Ester meets Duante, but he only allows her to ask one question and he disappears as fast as he appears. Ester’s only solution is to trick Duante into coming out and when he does, he becomes saddened because he didn’t want to meet Polvina and Tubarina through a trick. Though Duante told Ester that they could never be friends, he never said that it would be forever and as consolation, he gives her his name. So why did Duante seem like a wandering asshole back then?

Orphaned soon after his birth, Duante was found by the goddess Salacia, who raised him to be a guardian of Salacia and a healer of sick and injured sea creatures. Like the blowfish before him, Duante was given the ability to understand and communicate with every creature in the sea. He spent his life travelling around Salacia and the many other oceanic realms, doing what he can to help any sick or injured creature. In the 17 years after The Healer, Duante rarely ever showed up in Salacia.

The Aqua Conspiracy and the Poseidon Myth

The two statements are the titles of each episode in the two-parter.

In 2018, Salacia gave Duante the Aqua Driver and the mission of searching for the lost descendant of the Barracuda Royal Family on Dryland, namely Windy Adams. He managed to track her down to Santos, but he was caught up in a Dai-Shocker attack and was defeated.

Meanwhile, the Kougami Foundation were working on some new Core Medals (based on the new medals of the CSM OOO Driver) in the midst of a black hole paradox swallowing up the Riders and eventually, the world. Though they only made one of each medal to prevent Greeeds from forming, a Greeed still manages to form within the Same, Kujira and Ookami Core Medals before disappearing. The medals reappear in Windy’s house and possess her, transforming her into Kamen Rider Poseidon before she defeated the monsters. Windy’s body was never found that day because Poseidon saved her life.

By the time Duante got to Windy’s house, he was too late to save her family, but then, another supernatural force takes control of the Ebi, Kani and Sasori Core Medals and uses them to possess Duante. The supernatural force was Iemanja, the goddess of the ocean (more like the river according to Salacia) who was disgusted that a lowly Greeed had taken on the mighty name of Poseidon, the god of the oceans.

For the next three years, Poseidon went in search of worthy opponents to fight, but Aqua would constantly get in his way. Salacia’s concern for her two lost children led her to ask Hiroki for help searching for them, while the Kougami Foundation sent out OOO to help find the missing Core Medals.

After helping OOO and his friends fight Poseidon to no avail, Hiroki gets on the beers at the pub with Ester and Lorah. Some exposition dumps are shared and Hiroki gets frustrated at the dead ends and unsolvable mysteries until OOO’s group alerts him to a Greeed nearby.

Polvina and Tubarina encounter Jeopardy, Terumi and Minoru (the three characters from Soulbound) and challenge them to battle, but it is interrupted by Windy, wearing the bracelet and asking if they have seen Iemanja. When everyone arrives and points out that Windy is actually the Greeed, Poseidon takes control of her and begins fighting the Riders. Poseidon’s transformation sequence involves swinging the Deepest Harpoon in a cross, evoking elements of Kamen Rider Durendal’s transformation sequence. After everyone is defeated, Duante/Iemanja arrives and fights Poseidon, defeating him with the Oceanic Break and allowing Windy to regain control of herself.

Following another exposition dump back in the pub, Poseidon takes control of Windy’s body again and disappears to find more worthy opponents to fight in the sea and destroy Windy’s legacy. Tubarina realises that she is heading for the Barracuda Palace, but they can’t get everyone to Salacia by road in time. It is then that Hiroki and Polvina get an idea; the Riders (along with Jeopardy, Terumi and Minoru) use Mirror World to get to Salacia, where they alert the Shark King and all the other Riders. It is there that we get some amazing intercut transformation scenes based off the intercut transformation scene with Z and Geed in episode 15 of Ultraman Z.

Poseidon’s first opponent on the border between Salacia and the Farlands is Saula, the Salmon Princess (Alternative Zero, aka Bebe’s new owner from The Doll) and the Alternative Army. Poseidon defeats everyone one by one as she makes her way to the rebuilt Barracuda Palace in the Valley of Dusk. Aqua and OOO are Poseidon’s final opponents; Aqua has OOO use the Bikaso Combo to hold back Poseidon while he takes his medals, then gives them to OOO who uses the Saramiuo Combo to perform the Saramiuo Break Scanning Charge. After an Aqua Vortex from Aqua, Poseidon is purged from Windy’s body and destroyed as she lands on the throne.

Once everyone gathers at the Barracuda Palace, Windy reveals that her grandmother would always tell stories of how she came from the sea and was the princess of some kingdom until it was destroyed and they had to flee to Dryland. She also passed down her knowledge of the Salacian language in case they ever decided to find it one day. It is then that schools of barracuda begin gathering around the palace, cheering for the return of their prince and the arrival of their new princess. In case you didn’t get it by now, Windy is the lost descendant of the Barracuda Royal Family and therefore, the new Barracuda Princess.

Duante explains to Ester that he didn’t want to be friends with her back in The Healer because he had to keep his role as the guardian of Salacia a secret, but he eventually realised that his attitude back then made him seem impolite. He decides to stay and chat with Ester and her friends to make up for it. Lorah offers to take care of the Barracuda Kingdom in Windy’s absence while Miss Marla tells Windy that in Salacia’s absence, she can answer any questions she may have about the world of Salacia (the book series alluded to the fact that Miss Marla was more important than she actually seemed and in this project, that was because she was the messenger of the goddess Salacia).

With this, the Barracuda Kingdom saga has been resolved and a lot of loose ends in Sea Princesses have been tied up. To be honest, this storyline wouldn’t have existed if it weren’t for Kamen Rider Zi-O; given that Aqua is featured towards the end of the series, my decision to adapt the series in my project meant that I was obligated to introduce him along with any other Rider that was important to the story or original footage. Otherwise, I would have been happy with just saying that Windy and her family were dead and leaving it at that.

In regards to Iemanja’s inclusion in the two-parter – in the Afro-Brazilian Candomblé religion (which combines traditional West African religions with Catholicism), Iemanja is the goddess of the sea and their counterpart of the Virgin Mary. Originally, in the Nigerian Yoruba religion, Yemoja (her original name) is the patron saint of rivers. This conflicts with Salacia, who is Roman goddess of the sea, which is why she makes a snarky remark at Iemanja in the story. Of course, this isn’t how I got inspired to include her in the story; it was from a Candomblé hymn named Mamãe Maria (Mother Mary) which had the words “princesas do mar” in the lyrics. I wonder if it would be sacrilege to turn that hymn into a fast-paced techno theme song for Kamen Rider Poseidon?

Post-mortem updates

Since I have covered everything in this series, I don’t want to dwell on it any more than I have because it’s beating a dead horse at this point (unless Fabio Yabu decides to make something new for it). So I want to take this opportunity to address some things before it becomes awkward when I make an update post out of nowhere with no new material to provide.

In the epilogue of the book reviews, I mentioned that Dan Wyllie (who voices Marcello and possibly Sirilo and Veto) had pleaded not guilty to assaulting his wife, Shannon Murphy (who voices Tata), in March 2020. The way I wrote that paragraph made it seem like Wyllie was the villain, but it turns out that everything wasn’t what it seemed. In February this year, Wyllie was found not guilty of assaulting his wife thanks to some selfies he took after Murphy poured yogurt on him. The magistrate stated that Murphy “was not an impressive witness” and that “she had tailored her evidence to suit a scenario in which she had been the original aggressor”. I’m going to leave it at that.

I’ve noticed that the episodes in the Portuguese and Latin American Spanish dubs on Amazon Prime are shorter than the English dubs by 2-3 minutes. While watching a couple of episodes and following along on my transcripts, I discovered that some scenes were cut from the episodes. I have no idea why this is the case, but this seems to confirm my suspicion that the English dub is the original dub.

For some time now, I have been wondering why Sea Princesses got very little exposure over the years. Some of my speculative reasons include the relative novelty of Brazilian animation at the time of production, not exporting the series to Japan, the US or the UK, not getting the books published internationally (or at least in English) until 2020, the just-about-average writing in the series and the lack of focus on other characters besides the main five.

Recently though, I remembered going on the official Sea Princesses website on UOL over a decade ago and having to wade through all the Portuguese in order to get the (low-medium quality) images of the characters. I asked Fabio Yabu if it didn’t cross his mind to make an English website for Sea Princesses or if contractual obligations with Southern Star prevented him from doing so; he told me that Southern Star were apparently supposed to translate the website, but they never ended up doing so. In my opinion, I don’t think he had an excuse not to make an English website, or at the very least, put translated descriptions of the characters on any of his social media or art sharing platforms like Facebook, Flickr, DeviantArt or Tumblr.

It’s been over a year now since my first correspondence with Yabu and while we did discuss publishing the translated versions of the main series books on Amazon Kindle, nothing much has come from that, the two remaining literacy series books to be translated or the mistake in the second main series book on Kindle that is still yet to be corrected. When I reached out to Yabu recently in regards to this, he told me that he is currently busy with projects and the coronavirus has made things much more complicated in Brazil, so things are on hold for now. To be honest, I’ve been iffy over sending him anything this past year because I’m afraid that I might be annoying him, but he’s been pretty cool about it, so I won’t worry so much about it if I decide to send him another email in a few months’ time or whatever.

Anyway, that’s it for Sea Princesses (again) for the time being. The next time I mention something new about it will probably be when Fabio Yabu finally decides to do something or when I talk about it in my adaptation of Kamen Rider Zi-O. I hope you enjoyed reading my theories.

[unexpectedreylo]

Here It Is:  My Spoilerific Review/Post Mortem of TROS

When I saw The Last Jedi two years ago, the movie haunted me for days, for weeks, for months.  It inspired the imagination, dragging me into the world of Reylo and reassuring whatever reservations I had about the post-Lucas sequel trilogy.

The Rise of Skywalker haunts me too but more in a “Demon House” kind of way.  It fires up the imagination, but more in the sense that it keeps you up at night thinking of all of the ways it could’ve been better.

This isn’t to say I hate the movie.  I don’t.  It’s not even entirely or mostly bad which is what makes it extra frustrating.  You can laugh your way through a total disaster like “Cats” or “The Room” but a movie with plenty of promise and of talent behind it that makes some bad decisions is tragic.  Especially since this is the closing chapter to a trilogy and the saga itself.

You can see there are bones for what could’ve been a really good, maybe even great movie.  One of my favorite parts was the opener where Kylo Ren literally descends into hell/the underworld to confront the devil for no other reason than he didn’t even want Satan above him, a man who serves no gods or devils.   (That right there is a classic Byronic hero.)  Exogol is a great haunted house/spooky setting.  The revelation that it was Palpatine manipulating him all along was a shocker and makes Ben’s story that much more poignant.  I also really liked the contrast with Rey’s introduction, a beautiful shot of her in the verdant forest floating among rocks as she’s meditating.  She is Persephone in her element (which makes the ending all that more baffling but don’t worry, I’m getting to that).

This sets the stage for the revelation that the two are part of an intriguing concept, a Force dyad, kind of a Star Wars version of soulmates maybe even twin flames.  The two just had to acknowledge the feelings between them, reunite, and take out the Sith trash while Rey finally confronts her own dark side.   I don’t mind the latter concept at all because with the trilogy’s thickest plot armor, I think it’s valuable to put her in some peril and to have her better understand Kylo/Ben.

Abrams also wanted to recapture the feel of 1980s blockbusters like the Indiana Jones films or The Goonies, both made by his old mentor Steven Spielberg.  That’s most palpable when the Space Scoops Troop, er “trio,” falls into quicksand and pokes around an underground cave looking for one of the film’s many MacGuffins.  Abrams does good set pieces and powers them along with snappy dialogue.  Like TFA, it’s peppered with some genuinely funny scenes.

If nothing else, you can’t blame the cast for any of the film’s problems.  Everyone does the best they can with what they’re given and the long-standing chemistry between various pairs (Adam and Daisy, John and Oscar, Adam and Harrison Ford for example) do a lot to serve their scenes.  I think Oscar’s best scene was when he confesses to Leia lying in state that he doesn’t know if he can be the leader the Resistance needs.  It’s an honest, human moment.  Daisy continues to infuse Rey with her natural luminance.  I particularly liked the few quiet moments she has, such as meeting the children on Pasaana or healing the snake.  It shows her compassion and foreshadows healing Ben.

Daisy does pretty well with what she is given about struggling with her dark side.  (Remember, she didn’t write her own screenplay.)  Maybe it’s unpopular to say this but I kind of liked her brief turn as “Dark Rey.”  I have no doubt had she turned dark she would be pretty scary.  Her desire for revenge and fear of her own nature--driven by genetics or not--were intriguing concepts and I thought she tried to make the most of it in her performance.

Ah Adam Driver.  God bless that man.  He brings his considerable A-game 100% of the time no matter what and it shows.  He could sell sand on Tatooine.  I have no idea why they put the mask back on him other than a marketing department decision as I suspected, but taking it off when he’s making his appeal to Rey before she leaps out to the Falcon carries a gravity few people can pull off.  His reconciliation with Han was one of the film’s highlights.  For once the repetitive nature of the script actually worked in TROS’s favor, as Kylo retraces his steps in that fateful scene from TFA and finds a way to clear his conscience.  I also think this was originally meant to help the audience forgive him, especially since right after this he renounces the dark side.  Which makes later choices baffling, which I’ll get to.  Driver’s shiniest shining moment though is when he is once again Ben Solo.  Deprived of dialogue for the rest of the film other than “ow,” he nevertheless manages to convey a different personality that is very much Han Solo’s son.  His fight scene is right out of a 1970s martial arts movie, imbued with determination and sass.  I want to see a trilogy about THAT guy.

The Reylo scenes are, well, until it goes south, wonderful.  Some of us would’ve  preferred a lot less fighting but I see it as mostly Rey trying to deny herself and Kylo not being sure if he really wants Rey to turn to the dark side.  (On that note, I wish we’d seen Rey’s vision of sharing a throne with Kylo rather than just hear her talk about it.)   As I predicted, the turning point of the relationship came after the lightsaber battle on the Death Star wreckage.  I find it interesting that Kylo hesitates to kill Rey--partially because of his mother’s influence--and it’s she who could’ve killed him.  She immediately recognizes the dark side was turning her into something she didn’t want to be and nearly costs her the man that deep down she loves.  She heals him completely and along with her confession that she would’ve taken Ben’s hand, his soul is nearly healed by the power of love alone.  Which makes the film’s later choices baffling.  If you think about it, Ben’s turn is even more dramatic than Vader’s.  Vader chose his son over the Emperor at the last minute, some inkling of his light still there shining through at the right moment under duress.  Ben flat out rejects the dark side of his own volition.  That is pretty powerful.  Which makes the ending far more painful.

Rey and Ben’s one big romantic moment was tender and sweet and that was a pretty good kiss.  We finally get to see Ben’s big toothy grin.  Even though we all hate it, Driver did an amazing job conveying first his sorrow over Rey, then his relief, his joy, his love, and finally his strength leaving him.

Visually, the film looks great.  I think J.J. did an even better job shooting this film than TFA.  Adding to the visuals is the fabulous art direction.  They hired supervising art director Paul Inglis immediately after his previous flick Blade Runner 2049 came out, and that decision paid off.  This leaves the film with a number of beautifully-rendered scenes, whether it’s the haunted house scary underworld beneath Exogol, Kylo Ren’s starkly white quarters, the landscapes of Pasaana, the stormy seas around the Death Star II’s wreckage, the shot of Rey hesitating in the Star Destroyer’s hangar before leaping out to the Falcon, or Rey meditating among the floating rocks during her introduction.

I liked D-O and Babu Frick.  I even liked the lady who complimented Kylo’s helmet.  

Where do I start having problems?  The first time I saw the movie the scenes with Leia didn’t bother me but the second time I saw it, it was far more apparent they wrote around the bits of footage they had left.  It was a valiant effort to make Carrie Fisher part of the last film she never had the chance to perform in but it didn’t feel organic.  Since Leia dies during the movie anyway, I don’t know why having her pass away offscreen in between TLJ and TROS is less merciful to the audience than having her body lie beneath a sheet for half the film.  No wonder Billie Lourd skipped the premiere of this flick.  I couldn’t take it if it were my mother either.

On my second viewing, the Resistance base scenes started to get on my nerves.  Maybe it’s because I got tired of looking at the same group of like 10 people over and over.  Maybe I was annoyed that the only purpose of those scenes was to earnestly spout exposition.  Now, exposition is important.  I’m surprised Abrams, notorious for not bothering with it even if it’s necessary, even did this much.  But there was something about George Lucas’s Rebel base scenes that made these people look and act like guerrilla soldiers.  Maybe it was Lucas’s experience shooting films with Navy guys as a student, or his documentary style.  Abrams’s Resistance behave more like college students and activists than soldiers.  

But TROS’s biggest problems lie in its breakneck pacing and its writing.  Parts that should’ve had greater emotional resonance don’t because it moves along too fast.  I would’ve sacrificed one of the set pieces/action scenes or chuck one of the pointless new characters for the sake of deepening the relationship between Kylo and Rey or showing us more Ben Solo.

Some of the characterizations seemed off.  I know a lot of fans are deeply unhappy Rose Tico didn’t get to do much but I was surprised to see her in it even to the degree she was there.  What gets me about the whole Rose thing was her relationship with Finn is totally forgotten FOR NO REASON.  Really, why drop it?  There was no narrative purpose for doing so!  

General Hux is totally wasted in this film, reduced to little more than a cameo.  Sure it might be a surprising twist that “I am the spy!!!” (LOL) but his reasons for it are totally OOC.  He might despise Kylo Ren but to the point of helping the Resistance?  This is the guy who cheerfully blew up the Hosnian Prime system and wanted to blow up more.  He’s evil, a psychopath, a true believer in the First Order.  He might give the Resistance a tip that would result in embarrassing Kylo Rey and use that to start a coup against him but just helping the Resistance out of petulance and spite?  Nah.

Poe tries in this film to be a combination of rogue and deadly earnest idealist, but you generally don’t find those two qualities in the same person.  One second he’s talking about smuggling space dope, the next second he’s saying stuff like “Good people will fight if we lead them!”

Finn, God love him, is reduced to largely running around yelling, “Reeeey!” and eagerly trying to tell Rey something but the film never really got around to what it was.  It wasn’t until a Q&A session that Abrams revealed Finn was trying to tell Rey he was Force sensitive (something that should’ve been developed over the course of the trilogy).  Abrams had time to show us a random lesbian kiss for representation points, but no time for Finn to tell Rey he was Force sensitive?  Huh?

The story not only contradicts the previous films--I wonder if Abrams even saw his own movie TFA much less anything else besides the OT--it contradicts itself throughout.  Palpatine’s return is never really explained and his motives with Rey keep changing.  MacGuffins are added on top of MacGuffins with side missions thrown in.  Chewbacca is blown up then he’s miraculously alive on another transport we didn’t see.  Abrams and Chris Terrio didn’t just add to Rey’s origins, they blatantly spackled over it and TLJ’s overall message.  Discovering one is of evil origins is a gothic storytelling trope but really, it should’ve been developed since the first film so it doesn’t feel like whiplash from something else.  Everyone keeps telling Rey don’t be afraid of who you really are, but Rey ultimately does nothing but run from who she really is.  With each reversal, retcon, or contradiction in the film, it leaves a mess.  We’re supposed to believe Rey was better off sold to Unkar Plutt than be with her not-so-bad parents?   Who the bloody hell had sex with Darth Sidious?  You mean to tell me Luke and Leia knew all along Rey was a Palpatine but they never bothered to say anything and somehow they had more confidence in her than in their own flesh and blood?  Oh while we’re at it, I noticed the second time I saw the movie they straight up gave away Ben’s death before it happened!  WTF?  “Leia saw her son’s death at the end of her Jedi path.”  It seems like Luke and Leia were resigned to Ben’s fate as some horrible destiny that couldn’t be changed but Rey was still an open book to them.  That’s so stupid and really fellow OT fans, how does this respect our childhood faves?  Han comes off as the only decent person in this thing.

Rey and Ben taking on the Emperor was a great applause moment, the dyad unified against the ultimate evil.  For the most part it was fantastic...until The Yeetening.  Two things annoy me about the remainder of the conflict against Palpatine.  One, Rey and Ben should have destroyed Palpatine together.  If Rey could do it on her own then what the hell did she need Ben for?  He could’ve sat out the rest of the movie at Starbucks and remained alive while Rey killed Palps on her own.  There’s no point to their combined power because it wasn't necessary.  Two, while poor redeemed I-turned-back-to-the-light Ben was crawling up the pit with no help from anyone, every good guy we ever knew of in Star Wars, even from the cartoons, is giving a voice over pep talk to Rey.  (It seems cheap too since we don’t see the characters.  Avengers Endgame did this kind of thing far better.)  How about if the pep talk was given to the BOTH of them?  That Anakin Skywalker, the man Ben had idolized, had time to say “wakey-wakey” to his tormentor’s granddaughter and not his own grandson is appalling.  The third thing is while Darth Vader defeated Palpatine with the love for his son and his long-gone wife, Rey defeats Palpatine simply with power.  Rey and Ben’s love for each other could’ve been the force that defeats the Sith once and for all but for some reason it doesn’t occur to Abrams and Terrio.

I could’ve forgiven most of this--the jar of Snickles and all--had they got the resolution right.  But they didn’t.

ROTJ and ROTS’s endings were masterful.  ROTJ gives you an idea of what trajectory our heroes were likely to follow:  Han and Leia were going to end up together, Luke was going to bring forth the next generation of Jedi.  ROTS sets up Obi-Wan on Tatooine, Yoda on Dagobah, Leia on Alderaan, Luke on Tatooine, Darth Vader on a Star Destroyer, and poor Padmé on her way to Star Wars Heaven.  I have no idea what happens to Finn.  Maybe he’ll train with Rey.  Maybe he’ll go to college.  Maybe he’ll backpack through Europe.  I have no idea.  His story just stops.  Same deal with Poe.  Aside from getting shot down by Zorii, what’s he going to do?  The film gives zero indication.  It goes from the Free Hugs session to Rey squatting at the old Lars homestead.

The biggest crimes though occur to Ben and Rey.  Ben’s death sucked all of the air out of the film.  Yes, it’s beautiful that Ben loved Rey so much and so selflessly he was willing to surrender his life for hers.     It’s beautiful that it never mattered to Ben who Rey was, whether it was “nobody” in the last movie or the granddaughter of his tormentor/enemy in this one.  Had the Palpatine concept been there all along, there would’ve been something sweet about healing the rift originating in the prequels.  But I wanted Ben to live.  I wanted for once for someone to address the issue of atonement but Terrio and Abrams were too lazy to bother.   If The Grinch could be redeemed AND find atonement with those he wronged in a 30 minute Christmas special with commercials, then why not Ben Solo in a 150-minute movie?  

I could have lived with a sacrifice arc though had it been handled correctly.  But they flubbed it big time.  The sacrifice isn’t honored at all.  He just dies, he vanishes as Leia’s body vanishes, and he’s “never to be seen again.” Or mentioned.  Rey barely reacts on camera.  It’s as though reviving Ben from certain death, choosing good over evil, making a valiant attempt to save his girlfriend armed only with a blaster, and giving his life for hers weren’t valued by anyone.  The movie didn’t give a damn.  When Vader died in ROTJ, he at least had final words with Luke who then burns Vader’s remains on a pyre.  We see Anakin restored to his true self join the Force Ghost crew at the end of the movie.  We got none of this with Ben.

It’s also the most frustrating and disappointing disruption of a romantic arc since 1980′s “Somewhere In Time.”  In that film, Christopher Reeve travels back to 1912 and finds true love with Jane Seymour.  Everything is going great and Reeve’s character has made the choice to stay in that time and marry Seymour.  Then he pulls out a 1979 penny and is sent “back to the future” as Seymour screams.  At least that film though had the decency to reunite the love birds in the afterlife.  Which might explain why the movie still has a cult following to this day.  Tragic love stories always make sure there’s some kind of catharsis for the audience.  Rose takes Jack’s name, lives her life as he asked her to do for him, tells his story, and reunites with him when she dies.  Romeo and Juliet are united in death and the healing of their respective houses begins.  Even Padmé got a state funeral and had the legacy of her children.  There was no such catharsis for Rey and Ben.

Rey ends up right where she started:  alone and in the desert.  She got the Dorothy ending, there’s no place like home.  But the difference is Dorothy is a child not yet ready for the big scary world and the answers to her problems weren’t out there but right where she was.  Rey is a grown woman.  She should’ve been treated like one.  Instead she is deprived of her lover/soulmate and while such a separation should have been painful, it doesn’t even register.  She has a “found family” but they’re not there with her.  She’s in a home others tried to escape from, haunted by ghosts instead of being among those she loves.  Taking the Skywalker name seems tacked on, as though they realized if the name is to live on somebody needed to take it.  Why not then just have made her Han and Leia’s or Luke’s daughter in the first place?  It’s worse when you remember it’s a Palpatine who’s usurping the name.  Or when you realize she’s still hiding who she is.  

Here’s what would’ve been better.  Rey tells the Resistance about the pure selflessness of the Skywalkers and she wants that to be the core value of the new Jedi going forward, where every new student was going to learn their story.  Then we see her anywhere but Tatooine, happy and surrounded by students of all ages.  Maybe Finn training too.  She sees the approving Force ghosts of Leia, Luke, and Anakin.  Then Ben, clearly a different entity, materializes beside her.

Or something, anything other than what we got.

It’s as though they kept making story decisions without giving any thought at all to their implications.  They tried to do too much while being lazy about it.  They went for expedience--copy pasting ROTJ when convenient--over meaning.

The ending accomplishes what no other Star Wars film has done to me in 42 years of being a fan...it broke my heart and fulfilled my worst suspicions about where the ST was going to end up, largely due to its deflating ending and terrible denouement.  It leaves for me and many other fans a big gaping open wound, not closure.  

Ultimately the sequel trilogy’s biggest flaw is that there clearly was no plan.  What we got was a billion dollar game of exquisite cadaver with no real design for characters, their arcs, the story, or even what message these films are supposed to have.  Every decision was based on the director’s own ideas along with corporate meddling.  So we get conflicting ideas and blatant spackling over what the last director didn’t like. Was Kylo Ren meant to be a guy we love to hate or a lost boy we want to come home?   Was Rey a heroine we can all aspire to be or a lost princess of darkness?  What the hell was the point of Finn or Poe?  What does this add to the saga overall aside from more stuff?  Who are these films even for, old OT fans or young fans?  I believe it’s this lack of a plan that has generated so much confusion and bitter internet wars among fandom.  

[idmtwgill]

GLASS CASKET

Link to track: https://soundcloud.com/smiley-titan/glass-casket

So here’s a post-mortem blog on my track Glass Casket - I forgot to write this during the process so we’re gonna have to do it retroactively. I suck at starting projects, the agony of choice keeps me from putting anything onto a blank page. So to start this project, I limited myself to a chunk of melody from an old project and Logic’s ES2 synth to write the entire track.

I ran the melody into the synth, making a load of variations with tones and sounds I found interesting, settling on a distorted industrial vibe for the track. I fixed up the envelopes of each layer so that they would all open together at the end in a distorted squeal because a) it sounds cool and b) it creates a ton of tension and expectation that I could do interesting things with.

These were basically the building blocks of the track, the entire piece is just reorganisation of this material. The introduction was easy to write, just a high pitched whistling block running over a relatively clean portrayal of the original melody, and a bass part beneath that opens at points during the loop to reveal a fluttering texture that sounds both metallic and organic. In the background I used a white noise layer with some cutoff modulation to make the soundscape feel more full, the filter settings are shown below.

I then wrote the drop, which had sort of written itself mostly, because it was just a stacking and alternation of the ES2 building blocks. I was able to exploit the rising tension that came with the opening filters at the end of the building block loops, choosing to pull the drums and more melodic layers away so the distortion could overtake the track for a moment, before sometimes subverting expectations by having it crescendo into silence. Keeping to the challenge of limitations, I built the bass drum and hi-hats with the ES2, the patches look like this:

Bass Drum -

Hats -

The snare, also built with the ES2, was a unique challenge as I wanted a sound that would 1. Sustain for a long duration 2. Have a beefy transient and 3. Not interfere with the other tracks. After experimenting, I ended up mixing some low frequency sine and square waves in with white noise under a pitch and amplitude envelope so that they would both grow slightly quieter over time, and also perform a weird pitch contour where they would rise slightly before falling down. The patch looks like this:

The second half of the drop features a comparatively “clean” synth sound that emphasises the main melody as the building blocks continue to cut between each other beneath it.

After writing the drop, I was left in a situation I’ve been left in many times, where I’m unsure how to extend the track. I bounced out a copy, threw it on my phone, and listened to it on loop for a few days. Eventually, I decided that there needed to be a quieter section before the drop to introduce the drums and create a smoother transition. Until this point I hadn’t used any chords, rather the progression has always been established by the bass line since their density wouldn’t lend themselves to the distortion and filter manipulation that I wanted my tones elsewhere to have. I decided to make this section clean and relaxed, using a version of my snare and hat sounds with less high frequency energy. I brought the whistling and fluttering building blocks from the introduction in under hefty band pass filters. I did the same with the “clean” synth melody from the second half of the drop, placing it in the second half of the section. While I liked the atmosphere I had created, it felt very much like a staging ground for a more important element. I went through a few options for a foreground object to captivate the listener’s attention, but ended up finding that these layers would ultimately detract from the feeling I wanted to create. I bounced the track again, listened to it for a few days, and then returned to it with new ideas.

I found a sample of children playing hide and seek in Holland, speaking Dutch to each other - I thought this layer would give the listener something interesting to hone in on while avoiding the foreground spotlight. Cutting it up, I worked it into the section in two tracks panned apart to give the sense of conversation between the voices - I think this section works as well as it does because most listeners won’t know what the voices are saying, only their valence, so it becomes captivating without requiring the listener to decode their speech. 

Finally, it became time to extend the end, to create a mid section to tie the first drop into a second. I began by messing about with the building blocks again, eventually deciding that this section would be at its most interesting if it were a return to the relaxed chordal atmosphere of the pre-drop section. This time, I added a sine-based synth with the melody throughout the section. After writing the length of the section out, I found it to be incredibly empty - the voices in Dutch weren’t enough to hold attention after the drop section - however this time I felt that the space was open to a more abrasive foreground layer. After much agonising, I decided to write a rap verse over it, despite not having much experience in the style. Here’s the words:

Just let me know when my time’s up Cause I’m still making my mind up How I wish I were free of division, cause My indecision’s what’s nailing my coffin shut

My reflex is wailing, I’m screaming collision but my body keeps sailing, Like I can’t see the implications of failing, My supervision sees the coffin another nailing.

I Just want to know when my time’s up Cause I’m still making my mind up How I wish I were free of decisions, cause My lack of vision’s what’s nailing my coffin shut

I spend my time waiting and wasting For inspiration while my chances are fading The dirt enclosing, the coffin embracing Should I bang on the lid? I’m hesitating.

Recording the vocals was a difficult task, I’m not a trained performer so putting myself in a place where I could deliver an interesting performance while still being technically accurate was hard to do, but after a few dozen takes I was able to get a few recordings that I was satisfied with. Usually, I would stitch these recordings together to create the most perfect performance I could, but for this project I decided to leave my chosen take as is, avoiding doing any quantising changes to it, since I felt like the imperfections lended themselves to the aesthetic of the track. For mixing, I put the vocals through a compressor, then a high pass filter to remove most material beneath 200hz. From there it went through a pitch shifter which added a quiet second voice a tone below, and then a heavy distortion to bring it tonally in line with the rest of the track - the clean vocal sound felt uncanny against the distorted synths.

After this section is the second drop, similar to the first with a slight rearrangement of some of the blocks, before the track closes on the whistling block that it began on.

On reflection, there’s a lot of things that I’d like to change about this track. The first is that I’d like to have done a ton more takes of the rap verse - I still can’t tell if it sounds cool or cringe-inducing. I would have also like to have changed the second drop so that it’s more different from the first - most of the parts that are supposed to subvert expectations are the same as the first drop, which sort of defeats the point of trying to subvert expectations. Another big thing I’d like to have changed the density of the atmosphere of the piece - while at some points having such space feels good, a lot of the time it feels like the piece is just counting down to the end of the bar, and I feel like having the bars be more subdivided by sounds in certain places would keep the piece from feeling like it’s always cruising into the bar line.

https://soundcloud.com/smiley-titan/glass-casket

[excorcismic]

ALRIGHT SO HERE’S THE DEAL ; if misa is my first favorite death note character , this angy kid right here is my second - i adore mello to pieces and he’s very close to misa in terms of how much i love him , but ultimately does she remain queen . but ! the cool thing is that in the series they never actually interact ( the closest being mello spying on her for a brief period of time ) which means i could play my two blonde fashion icons and voila , here they are . so here’s the gist on mello in canon & alucard and most importantly the plots i am digging bc my muse for him rn ?? is off the charts . LESGO !

IN A CANON NUTSHELL ( HUGE DEATH NOTE SPOILERS ) : So Mello’s introduced during the latter half of Death Note ( or maybe it’s more the final third but either way there’s a part where it significantly breaks in two ) - or , the very end of the first half , takes center stage during the second . He’s from the original home of the detective L , an orphanage of gifted children known as Whammy’s House - and essentially , the goal of the children is to maybe one day live up to L , one person taking his place . Mello !! Is one of the candidates . But he has a permanent chip on his shoulder since Near - the other candidate - always managed to beat him at everything . So when Light Yagami gets his way & L dies , Near and Mello are told that L didn’t choose a successor between them . When the idea that they work together to do just that is brought up , Near ( who honestly really liked Mello ) is like ‘hey! let’s do it’ and Mello ( still angy that Near is always right in front of him ) is like ‘FUCK you I’m gonna catch Kira myself’ and leaves the orphanage . Five years later , he works with the mafia , even getting his hands on a Death Note & with the help of a shinigami ( that he scared the living piss out of ) concludes that a rule that states a human will die if they haven’t written in the notebook in thirteen days is fake . He also like , blackmails the president and orchestrates an explosion that Soichiro Yagami dies after but he gets a wicked ass scar afterwards so it’s okay . Now working with L’s third potential successor , Matt , he spies on Misa Amane and makes connections between the second L ( Light Yagami ) & Kira , deduces that Kiyomi Takada is an accomplice , and kidnaps her to try and expose Kira as Light Yagami - but . . . he dies in the process , and so does Matt . The cool thing is though his discoveries led to Near’s breakthrough in the Kira case ( as he and Near met one last time , where he gives Mello the photo he has here in Alucard ) and Mello kind of gets the last laugh post-mortem . And also a kind of neat thing , his last appearance is as the narrator in the Death Note prequel , the Los Angeles BB murder cases - I’m gonna quote the whole thing in my eventual intro but ! It’s an awesome book and Mello is an awesome narrator . ( dn spoilers end here tyvm )

IN AN ALUCARD NUTSHELL - So Mihael Keehl ( his real name in canon , mind you ) is a twenty year-old runaway from the foster system - also sometimes lived in an orphanage but when he wasn’t , the constant tossing around because of his rebellious tendencies wrecked him . He isn’t employed , not does he actually have an actual home - living in a beat down truck most of the time if he can’t get a motel / hotel room for a night or a few . He makes basic expenses and fills his basic needs by doing odd jobs in exchange for money or favors - stuff like ‘if I do this for you for x amount of days or I get this for you you’ll pay for my phone bill for the next two months’ and that stuff . Basic arrangements . And he knows he can like , maybe try to commit to a job or a home but he’s actually . . . way too fucking scared of being tied down or in a worse situation that’s somehow more stable so the nomad life is kind of what he sticks with . But he’s homeless & it’s not good for him . At all . He’ll never flat-out admit that though which is why he calls himself a drifter . His main reason for being on his own , and refusing any extensive help from anyone outside of these favors , is because he has a point to prove - because that inferiority complex kicks in because the other kids he grew up against are doing amazing things and he wants to do better , and not receive any large amount of help . He just ,,, doesn’t understand he’s not doin’ any good for himself .

BUT OOOOOOOH YOU WANNA PLOT WITH MELLO SO BAD OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

so the biggest connection in the sense that it’s the most open , i mentioned that mello mainly pays for his own expenses ( or more so , gets other people to pay for them ) by doing favors or small jobs in exchange for either money or other forms of payment . so obviously , people he has these arrangements with - they can range from anything , mello is extremely smart ( a thing that comes up is that he has a shit ton of wasted potential ) in the books , technology , the streets and has a bunch of small talents he’s picked up over the years of living on his own ( saving money , sewing and mending / caring for clothes how else is he gonna keep that amazing fashion , cooking with very little ingredients , cleaning with little tools , fixing the kinks / souping up automobiles , ahem sexual stuff , tutoring , sometimes even mild illegal shit , you name it . ) so he can offer these talents / skills / etc . to other people who could use them ( most of the time repeatedly ) and in exchange , the other muses will pay him in cash or by doing things like paying his phone bill , car insurance , health insurance , food / groceries , hotel/motel room for a few nights , or even just offering him a place to use the shower or bathroom or even a bed for certain days of the week . This can also lead to many of the other plots I have listed here in the sense it’s a start , and it can happen with anyone , anywhere , for any reason .

literally the thing w/ mel is that he knows no limits and will do anything for anyone and is hardheaded as fuck about it because he’s got a point to prove and things to do and he won’t waste time refusing but the moment you offer your help in exchange for nothing or you’re trying to hold his hand a little too much and he catches on , the arrangement’s over and you’ll be lucky to see him again .

okay so uh . in that sense ?? maybe ppl who kind of helped him out and he did like . one thing for them and once he got his payment for that one thing he kinda bounced n they never heard from him again for whatever reason . nothing against them but he rly isn’t gonna make a habit of staying in one place for too long . 

obviously , those people that really think he’s gotta give up the ghost of trying to survive like this bc it’s wearing on his health & he doesn’t wanna admit it . and he’s tried shaking them off but he won’t leave and sometimes he’s forced to give into the help they offer but tries making them take a payment back .

old peers that felt whatever way about him back then but feel pity for his wasted potential ( at the moment ) , bc this dude was like . . . a straight-a student and was rly good at a bunch of things and now he’s living the way he is . whatever they wanna do and however they felt about him and how he interacted with them back then Differs but . there’s kind of like ‘damn u live like this’ now . gimme some kids who had crushes on him , kids he was rivals with , kids he got into fights with and maybe socked in the jaw a few times , kids who always admired him , kids who hated his guts - it always comes down to what life is like now vs. what life was like then .

i’d like some friends who were formed from the favors - and maybe they’ve stopped whatever they had with him but they still regularly hang out or something , maybe offer a place to stay for the night . 

just in general ?? people who keep their home open for him and whether he takes them up on their offer on a rare basis .

pls some folks trick him into accepting their help like leave him basket of chocolate candy and trap him or something like just . make it ‘wait what’ deal bc they all know he’s stubborn .

also uh . he’s been arrested for minor offenses a few times so some ppl who’ve bailed him out pls and he’s tryna repay him back .

mentor figures . mentor figures pls he’s trying not to accept their mentor-y guidance from .

so maybe the hero  . . . maybe the one person who was like the l to mello of alucard ( maybe even the Man himself ) that he just . looked up to forever and probably still does .

. . . favor idea ?? maybe he’s a stand-in boyfriend or date for events or somethin’ like mello kinda has that bad boy reputation but maybe he dated them for show on their whim at some point or they have that kinda thing ‘pls pretend to my boyfriend and i’ll let u use my shower every weekend for the next month’ or so .

also , one night stands or friends with benefits he uses only for the bathroom / a place to sleep . folks he’s dated for a period bc he did feel something and therefore he had them as an outlet but then broke up with them ( most likely ?? he was the one who ended it bc he has never known love stability & got spooked on it ending and just - did it on his own accord before he could further get hurt BUT THAT NEVER WORKS and he has hella commitement issues ) and tried to shrug it off as ‘ just another fling ’ even tho he’s highkey sad over it . ppl he’s slept with and then disappears with only a ‘thank you’ note as the evidence he was there . and do they accept it ?? are they pissed over it ?? that is up to You but it’s probably gotten around that mihael keehl has never had a stable relationship and never , ever stays . 

lots of ppl he probs has the above two arrangements or scenarios with bc again , gotta get shit done somehow .

enemies . . . he has an endless grudge with for some reason like maybe they screwed him over , 

i want . . . folks he can eventually get soft with and maybe actually seek that comfort in even tho u gotta chip at the five thousand concrete walls to get to that stage . i want to see him become better and that’s an ultimate goal for him in alucard ( even though it’s gonna be a bit more difficult with his memories returning ) to get better , commit to something , accept stability and get his life on a better track .

and yes , that includes an eventual ship ! really it can build off of any of these dynamics just . give me sneaking in through windows late at night , soft words and gentle kisses and protective hugs and please stay i know you never stay but please stay with me and the thought that maybe he should leave but he doesn’t and they wake up with him after a night and he’s still there and maybe there’s a scare he left like he always does but he made chocolate chip pancakes and he feels safe & alright which is . . . a rare occasion in his messy ass life . maybe something like friends to lovers , fwb to lovers , an old flame , anything this could be fun to do !! end goal though , i’d like something on the softer side that’s healthy and loving because that’s really what he needs . 

( some notes tho bc he’s only twenty i’ll sayyyy max i’ll do the more romantic / spicier stuff with in that aspect is . . . 23 - 24 ?? bc he’s almost 21 like if we put the fact we’re in october into account and his birthday is december 13th that isn’t too far away so . That’s That . he’s also pan as fuck . )

BUT , yes . the main connections / plots there are what i can think of . ik a lot of these are so wordy and i’m sorry bt as always ! i will take literally anything i love plots and i think with what i have for mello there is so much potential in what we can do here .

and as always . give me other death note characters . near or matt specifically would fucking make me cry and i’m here for it .

[liskantope]

I’ve just reread my collection of political articles written by H. L. Mencken, in the book A Carnival of Buncombe: Writings on Politics. These articles span early 1920 to late 1936, over five presidential elections.

Below are a few of the passages I found the most interesting, as a glimpse into American political culture during this period (although Mencken is overtly snobbish and somewhat bigoted -- far from an objective observer -- and seems remarkably obtuse about some pretty obvious things).

[This turned out long-ish. For me, the most interesting passage is the last one I quoted actually, although I’m not really sure if any of my followers would be that interested in any of it and this is for my own note-keeping as much as anything else.

After living abroad for a while, I’ve become increasingly interested in what is unique about American culture and common American mentalities, and it’s interesting to see the following musing from a century ago:

It seems to me that this fear of ideas is a peculiarly democratic phenomenon, and that it is nowhere so horribly apparent as in the United States, perhaps the nearest approach to an actual democracy yet seen in the world. It was Americans who invented the curious doctrine that there is a body of doctrine in every department of thought that every good citizen is in duty bound to accept and cherish; it was Americans who invented the right-thinker. The fundamental concept, of course, was not original. The theologians embraced it centuries ago, and continue to embrace it to this day. It appeared on the political side in the Middle Ages, and survived in Russia into our time. But it is only in the United States that it has been extended to all departments of thought. It is only here that any novel idea, in any field of human relations, carries with it a burden of obnoxiousness, and is instantly challenged as mysteriously immoral by the great masses of right-thinking men. It is only here, so far as I have been able to make out, that there is a right way and a wrong way to think about the beverages one drinks with one’s meals, and the way children ought to be taught in the schools, and the manner in which foreign alliances should be negotiated, and what ought to be done about the Bolsheviki.

- from “Bayard vs. Lionheart”, July 26th, 1920

On President Harding’s inaugural address (this, like many other things, makes me wonder what Mencken would have made of Trump):

I rise to pay my small tribute to Dr. Harding. Setting aside a college professor or two and half a dozen dipsomaniacal newspaper reporters, he takes the first place in my Valhalla of literati. That is to say, he writes the worst English that I have ever encountered. It reminds me of a string of wet sponges; it reminds me of tattered washing on the line; it reminds me of stale bean-soup, of college yells, of dogs barking idiotically through endless nights. It is so bad that a sort of grandeur creeps into it. It drags itself out of the dark abysm (I was about to write abscess!) of pish, and crawls insanely up the topmost pinnacle of post. It is rumble and bumble. It is flap and doodle. It is balder and dash.

- from “Gamlielese”, March 7th, 1921

At the risk of being redundant, here is Mencken’s comment on the lack of defined policy differences between the two major parties as they existed in 1923:

Both [major political parties] have lost their old vitality, all their old reality; neither, as it stands today, is anything more than a huge and clumsy machine for cadging jobs. They do not carry living principles into their successive campaigns; they simply grab up anything that seems likely to make votes. The old distinctions between them have all faded out, and are now almost indiscernible. The Democrats are just as hot for centralization as the Republicans, and just as friendly towards a protective tariff; they stand together on the money question; there is no choice between them on the question of foreign policy; they are both wet and both dry.

The only reality that remains is their division on sectional lines. In the South the morons still vote the straight Democratic ticket. But even this brand begins to wear off. We have seen Maryland and Tennessee take to the fence; we have even seen some wobbling in Virginia and Texas. The time may come, and it may be soon, when the solid South will fall to pieces. Out of the wreck, I venture to believe, a new alignment of parties will come, and it will be based, not upon outworn traditions and shibboleths, but upon genuine differences of opinion. What those differences of opinion will be I do not risk prophecying, but it would not surprise me at all if one great party advocated the inspection and control of bootleggers by rigid Federal legislation, and the other, clinging to the tattered remains of local self-government, advocated licensing them by the commune.

- from “Next Year’s Struggle”, June 11th, 1923

Mencken’s (rather lofty and prejudiced) perception of cultural differences between rural and urban America and how they play into differing attitudes towards Prohibition (the Volstead Act):

Prohibition is essentially a yokel idea. It mirrors alike the farmer’s fear of himself and his envy of city men. Unable to drink at all without making a hog of himself, he naturally hates those who can. When a city man goes on a grand drunk, the police take charge of him humanely and he is restrained from doing any great damage. The worst that happens to him is that his wife beats him and he loses his job. But when a farmer succumbs to the jug his unmilked cows burst, his hogs and chickens starve, his pastor denounces him as an atheist (or even an Episcopalian), and he is ruined. Thus he favors Prohibition, especially if he is given to heavy drinking -- first because he hopes it will protect him against himself, and secondly because it harasses his superior and enemy, the city man...

I have never encountered a genuine city man, not obviously balmy, who was in favor of Prohibition. There seems to be something in the urban mentality that rebels against such imbecilities. Perhaps the fact is to be ascribed to familiarity with the police. The yokel, seeing policemen very seldom, retains a considerable fear of them, and a high respect for the laws behind them. But the city man takes the cops lightly, and the laws with them. He has no respect for laws as such; he respects them when they are useful and plausible. Such grotesque concoctions as the Volstead Act he knows to be neither.

The yokel’s answer to this sniffishness is that the city man is a scoundrel, and ought to be kept under restraint. His opposition to Prohibition, as the hedge pastors argue, is due to a consuming love of rum. But that argument quickly runs aground on the fact that the city man, despite the Eighteenth Amendment, still has all the rum he can consume. For he is not only contumacious; he is also ingenious, and knows how to beat laws that he dislikes. So the yokels and their spiritual advisers have to fall back on the doctrine that Prohibition is ordained of God, and is hence binding upon every good citizen, regardless of his private convictions. But the city man simply laughs at that. He observes that the chief agents of revelation are Methodist bishops, and that he has heard too much balderdash from them to have any confidence in them.

- from “Real Issues at Last”, July 23rd, 1928

Commentary on Herbert Hoover’s character just before his election, as I provided it in the comments section under the (very interesting) SSC post on Hoover:

The contrast [Al Smith] makes with his opponent is really appalling. Hoover stands at the opposite pole. He is a man of sharp intelligence, well schooled and familiar with the ways of the world, and more than once, in difficult situations, he has shown a shrewd competence, but where is character ought to be there is almost a blank. He is the perfect self-seeker, pushing and unconscionable; it is hard to imagine him balking at anything to get on. His principles are so vague that even his intimates seem unable to put them into words. He is an American who came within an inch of being an Englishman, a Republican who came within an inch of being a Democrat, a dry who came within an inch of being a wet. He is what is today because it has paid him well so far, and promises to pay still better hereafter.

- from “Al in the Free State”, October 29th, 1928

Now Mencken’s attempts to predict the results of the elections of 1932, in which he demonstrates how oblivious he was to the effects of the Great Depression on public sentiment:

That Dr. Hoover will be renominated by his party next year is as nearly certain as anything human can be, and that he will be reelected at the ensuing plebiscite is highly probable.

- from “The Hoover Bust”, May 18th, 1931

Barring acts of God of a revolting and unprecedented character, Mr. Hoover is almost as sure of reelection next year as he was of election in 1928... [Mencken argues in terms of several states that Hoover might lose but won’t need anyway.]

All this should be plain to anyone able to add and subtract. It is as obvious as that 2 and 2 equal 4.

- from “Hoover in 1932″, July 27th, 1931

Right before the election, Mencken finally recognized that Hoover was going to lose but seems to emphasize almost every other complaint against Hoover (particularly his acting on the wrong side of the Prohibition question) over his failure to cure the Depression:

My guess is that the thing which really finished the right hon. gentleman was his singularly disingenuous and unconvincing dealing with Prohibition.

- from “Pre-Mortem”, October 24th, 1932

I’ll end with the passage I found maybe the most interesting. Mencken had identified as a Democrat and enthusiastically voted Democrat in 1928 and 1932 (although he didn’t support the Democratic candidates in 1920 and 1924 and loathed the legendary Democrat William Jennings Bryan). But well before the end of FDR’s first term, he had turned against the president’s new-dealing ways. Here is an excerpt from his article on the eve of FDR’s reelection:

Nevertheless, and in spite of all Hell’s angels, I shall vote for the Hon. Mr. Landon tomorrow. To a lifelong Democrat, of course, it will be something of a wrench. But it seems to me that the choice is one that genuine Democrats are almost bound to make. On the one side are all the basic principles of their party, handed down from its first days and tried over and over again in the fires of experience; on the other side is a gallimaufry of transparent quackeries, puerile in theory and dangerous in practice. To vote Democratic this year it is necessary, by an unhappy irony, to vote for a Republican. But to vote with the party is to vote for a gang of mountebacks who are no more Democrats than a turkey buzzard is to an archangel.

This exchange of principles, with the party labels unchanged, is naturally confusing, abut it is certainly not so confusing that it goes unpenetrated. Plenty of Republicans who believe sincerely in a strong Federal Government are going to vote tomorrow for the Hon. Mr. Roosevelt, and plenty of Democrats who believe sincerely in the autonomy of the States and a rigid limitation of the Federal power are going to vote, as I shall, for the Hon. Mr. Landon. Whether the shift that confronts us will be be permanent remains to be seen. But while it lasts it is manifestly very real, and those who let party loyalties blind them to its reality will be voting very foolishly.

This is particularly interesting to me because it reflects an interpretation of the history of our political parties often claimed by Democrats: “The two parties switched places.” I’ve always been a little impatient with the simplistic way this is put (although of course it’s nowhere near as bad as Republicans, including the president, who love to imply that theirs is still the party of Lincoln out of one side of their mouths while idolizing Andrew Jackson, the founder of the Democratic party, out of the other). It’s not as though the parties one day just up and decided they wanted to switch names or switch positions. Mencken himself had pointed out in the early 20′s, in one of the passages I quoted further above, that there was little differentiating the two parties at the time apart from the demographic and geographic subgroups of Americans who formed their respective bases. Moreover, the Democratic party had been displaying somewhat of a fiscally progressive streak in the past few decades, arguably starting with William Jennings Bryan in 1896. (Although to be fair, the Republican party flirted with progressivism in a very big way thanks to Theodore Roosevelt, and none of this earlier progressivism looked that much like the revolution FDR was waging anyway.)

That said, if one had to point to a single turning point in history for Democrats and Republicans which played the greatest role in directing them towards where they are today, the early 30′s with FDR’s New Deal is probably the most reasonable choice, and Mencken’s above contemporary commentary is evidence supporting this.

[thoughts-of-a-stagemanager]

The day my dream job died

In February I was sitting in a room listening to one my superiors talk about crap that had nothing to do with anything important. I had recently finished a show that wrecked so much havoc on my mental health just the sight of the director of that show made my jaw clench. We had a guest in that room who used to work my dream job. That job, I am not going to say because I don’t want to watch someone else’s dream job die because of me. I’ve always loved theatre and I wanted to pursue Stage Management professionally. At least, that’s what I thought. But as I was sitting in that room, listening to the guest who used to have my dream job talk, I was soon horrified at the stories she told. About how she was treated, how the actors were treated and how crew was treated. As she was talking I felt the metaphorical path of my life I had so carefully paved out crumble beneath my feet and I was falling. I was trying to grasp something. Some sort of hope that I could still get my dream job and be happy doing it. But I had already fallen and landed hard on the rubble of the path. My ASM for my next show looked over at me and saw the perplexed look on my face. She gave me a sheepish smile and just said “it is a big company. Those things happen unfortunately.”

I remember calling my mom that night and telling her everything. I felt so defeated. She simply said “There’s lots of other theatre companies who would want you. You’re really good at your job.”

Call me overdramatic if you must.

But perhaps its because every single show I have worked in my Stage Management career has wrecked havoc on my mental and physical health. 

Perhaps its because every single show I have worked during my Stage Management career I only had one director that didn’t treat me and my crew like servants. But with just my luck, during that show I was harassed by an actor.

I remember my first big show I worked, the director was very verbally abusive toward me. Causing me to have a breakdown at least twice a week after rehearsals. It takes a lot to break me. But so quickly, I was beat down to a weak mouse who could barely stand on her own two feet. I remember I went to my boss and asked her multiple times “Why can’t I stand up for myself and the actors/crew because we all know this is wrong?” 

She simply said, “It’s not your place. This director is a control freak, get over it.”

This was the biggest slap in the face to me during the whole production. How helpless and silenced I felt because I was new and didn’t know what to do. It was tech week for this show when I started the Tumblr blog. I needed somewhere to vent. During the post mortem for this show the director (who had already directed many shows, but it was their first show at our theatre), said in front of the entire board, designers, everyone, “You know, I was new and (my name here) was new and you know, she’ll be good next time.”

I froze, speechless, tears instantly coming to the back of my eyelids. This director who insulted me, verbally abused me and used me as their scape goat the entire show just wrongfully put me on blast in front of everyone. After I had held up her show on my shoulders with little help from anyone. I looked around the room to see a few designers shaking their head at me in disagreement. However as the ‘new’ stage manager, this absolutely crushed me and made me mad at the same time.

The next show I worked, the director had general ideas of what they wanted, constantly changed things on me (and the designers), then proceeded to use me as their personal assistant while scolding me for being supportive to actors. Yes, you read that right, I was scolded for being a kind and caring stage manager. This director also changed the schedule on me and the actors so many times that it got to the point I just wanted to say, “here is the schedule, you can change it everyday yourself and confuse the actors so they understand its fully you messing up all this work.”

This director would call designers to run throughs then proceed to waste an hour or more of everyone’s time working scenes instead of doing the actual run through causing us to run late. This director would be incredibly rude to my ASM’s and myself right in front of actors. This director threw things like their keys at me. Would respond to me trying to be helpful with “Well duh” or since they changed the schedule so much would respond to the call list for the day with “Uh no, that’s definitely not what we’re doing.” This making it look like to the actors I had no idea what was going on. But I think they [actors] knew. However, shockingly, this director treated me much better than the previous one I had mentioned and now the sight of them doesn’t fill me with dread, because shockingly this show was the best show I’ve ever worked.

I am exhausted. I am so sick of being used as a pin cushion and the scape goat for all the directors and actors I’ve worked with.

I am sick of working with actors who are full of hot air and think they are better than everyone else.

I am sick of working with directors who think so highly of themselves they don’t care who they destroy in their path of building their ‘reputation’.

I’m here to say. I need a break. Stage Management has exhausted me. I am exhausted.

Please, please, please, please do not let this ruin your perception of the theatre world. If you want to be a professional Stage Manager or something else in theatre, go. Pursue that dream. I was simply delt a crappy hand. I worked my ass off yet people continued to treat me like their scape goat, like complete and udder shit and it has not faired well on me. I am still incredibly grateful for the amazing down to earth people I did get to work with and appreciative of the opportunities I had, the things I have learned, the friends I have made and the fun stories I have to tell. I am incredibly grateful for the awesome support team behind me who have helped make stage managing possible while dealing with my chronic illness. I am incredibly thankful for my mom who let me call her and just vent so many countless times. I am incredibly thankful for my fur children who were always a pleasant face to see when I came home. Lastly, I am incredibly grateful for my amazing friends and ASM’s who kept me sane during tech rehearsals and were a witness when things got sticky with vindictive directors.

If I have learned anything from my time as an SM. It’s to speak up for yourself. Call people out (nicely) when they are being rude, vindictive and unfair. Anyone who tells you it’s not okay to speak up for yourself and concerns for your own/crew/actor safety is not someone who you should be working with.

So this is me, signing off. I need a break. I am simply exhausted. I am emotionally, physically and mentally drained.

I am making a career change (hopefully), I got a temp job while tying loose ends in the current city I am living and moving back home next year to pursue a true passion and dream of mine I’ve had since I was six that has nothing to do with theatre. Stage Management has always been a back up plan of mine anyway (ironic, right?). I won’t be gone forever and I’ll check the blog frequently for your asks. I will post funny stories as I remember them or as they are submitted. I’m not abandoning you all. I’m simply stepping down from Stage Management for a while, perhaps permanately if my dream job takes off. I just need some time off from theatre. I need time to heal. I need time to recover.

Thank you all for being the best group of followers I could ever ask for. I’m still here for you. I still look forward to reading your submissions and answering your asks.

Talk soon.

~Admin <3

[catsitta]

Handle With Care - Post Mortem

When I first started writing Handle with Care, it was going to be 100 chapters long and there were a few key differences in the plot. These changes occurred generally slowly as I gained a better understanding of my world and characters, while some shifted dramatically due to my feeling they were thematically inappropriate for the story I wanted to tell. So with the conclusion of the main fic and its various continuations, I decided to detail a little more in how I approached a 100 word daily drabble fic, and why certain events occurred or why certain characters played certain roles. This post is mostly for the folks out there who like all the nitpicky background information that goes around in the author’s head while writing.

100 WORDS A DAY

In choosing to write 100 words a day, I gave myself both a goal and a challenge. 100 words is often little more than a paragraph. Maybe two. I often found myself writing on my commute into work or during lunch on my phone, because while 1000 might feel overwhelming, 100 is not. Right? Yet some days I found just enough time to type up 100 words between work and other commitments (October was interesting, since I did Inktober and well as Promptober, on top of my usual working schedule). But the most challenging part was not writing 100 words. Writing 100 words was easy. Writing ONLY 100 words was where things became tricky.

In my original intentions for this fic, scenes were not supposed to span over multiple chapters. Each drabble was to be a self contained snapshot of time. But as the story became more emotionally centered, I shifted away from that idea and focused more on making each drabble exist as a chapter. Chapters can have cliffhangers. But they need to communicate a thought. An idea. A feeling. With 100 words a day, my objective became: Progress the story in a meaningful way or communicate some important information to the audience. With 100 words, there was often little room for getting lost in details.

Now one my ask again, why 100?

100 is the number of words in the definition of a drabble. 100, again, is an easy minimum to reach. But when you are used to writing 2-3k word chapters, flexibility is minimal and you have to decide what needs to be said, and what you were saying to fill space. And I found it a wonderful learning experience and valuable exercise as a writer. I’ve attempted to start drabble fics in the past, but rarely did they ever get past a couple chapters before I would get frustrated by the limitations. Because let’s be honest. Writing a 25,000 word story, 100 words at a time, is a test of one’s patience as much as anything else.

THE STORY

Handle with Care was originally supposed to be pure romantic comedy with just a splash of darker undertones in the background for color. But as much as I love fluffy comedies, as I wrote, there were conflicts that I didn’t feel should be glossed over. As some of my long term readers and commenters will know, I’m terribly fond of bitter with my sweet. Angst with my fluff. The bad things in life make the good all the brighter. And conflict drives a story forward.

So what changed?

There were many different variations on how Sans ended up raising Papyrus alone. Some took our overbearing science dad, Gaster, and outright cast him in the role of a villain as opposed to a mid story antagonist. Straight into, why aren’t you in jail, territory. Others barely featured Gaster at all, as he was disconnected from Sans after his son didn’t end up pursuing a ‘productive’ career in the sciences. There were even a couple considered drafts where Papyrus and Edge did have another parent and the reason Sans was distrusting and cagey was because of a broken Soulbond. (And for those of you who were Web/Sans theorists, well, there was a version where you weren’t wrong! Sans started an affair off with Web after the LOADs began as a sort of ‘regain control of his life’ thing.)

What may interest folks is that the story was originally not supposed to end with a wedding and a house in the planning. The happy ending was going to be less sugar and more height of the moment drama. Around the time Frisk intimidates Red into silence, she was going to instead start him on the path to discovering answers. No confessions from Sans. No journals. Instead Red goes on the hunt for clues and gets fragments of the story from different people, especially Gaster and Frisk. It was all quite emotional, but the pacing felt off, and I felt it would be more rewarding if Sans grew as a character and he was the one to confess all his secrets.

Another altered thread was Red being only Web’s son. Early, early on, Red was the product of Web and some other monster. I even considered that monster having died in birth with Edge. But I scrapped that quickly, and decided that instead, Edge was Pap’s twin, and that the grim mood Web was in, was because of what he saw as well as what he remembered from past timelines. He almost watched his friend and coworker dust in his arms. Properly traumatic, eh?

There is a completely cut scene that I may write in the spin off that goes more into detail about Red’s similarities to Gaster, and Sans’ to Web, and how people often choose partners that are like their parental figures. You may ask. Wait. What do you mean? Well, Webdings didn’t smoke. He drank. Red, despite having dabbled with the stuff, is never shown to drink recreationally or get drunk in the fic, for more reasons than being underage to do so. However, it is very lightly implied that Sans’ coping method of choice is alcohol, though Red quickly quashes this habit after the drunkenness incident. Now, who else smokes? Gaster. Sans doesn’t like that Red smokes (for obvious reasons it reminds him of his father and Red does try to quit in the fic, though ends up falling back on it when stressed.) There are other similarities if you look close. It’s one of the reasons that Gaster and Red don’t get along. They’re both strong personalities, and can be pretty quick to pass judgement on someone.

THE CHARACTERS

As many folks picked up on, Handle with Care, has multiple meanings. It is a moving pun based on the CAUTION: FRAGILE | Handle with Care, labels on the sides of some boxes. It is also one of the main themes of the fic itself. Everyone in the story is a person with their own pasts and pains, which makes them fragile in different ways. And some of them even represent different types of relationships and people we encounter in our lives.

Red - Our protagonist. He’s a young man picking up the pieces of his life after his father’s apparent suicide, left to raise his baby brother when he was only sixteen. He’s the child of an alcoholic and forced to take on an adult role too young. As a result, he has a few unhealthy coping mechanisms, struggles with his temper and his sense of self worth. But he’s the one that got out. That put his life on the straight-and-narrow.

Sans - The love interest. Grew up young from the sheer expectations in his life. He was never without, but when the LOADs happened, he cracked under a lifetime’s worth of pressure. He broke down. Stopped trusting anyone, including himself. And very likely only kept himself from Falling because of Papyrus. Much of his struggles is based on the single mothers who would say that their child is what saved them or got them through those darkest time by just existing. He is also the individual who was groomed for success that ended up with absoluting no proper coping skills because of his rigid upbringing.

Papyrus - The optimist. He stays positive through everything. Everything and everyone can do better, and he sees the best in all situations. But he also has a responsible streak with an urge to organize everything (clean/cook/no desserts before dinner). His relationship with Sans could have very well ended up problematic, with Paps taking on a parental role for his parent early on in his life.

Edge - The pessimist. Edge is the other side of the coin from Papyrus. While his world view is often just as rigid, he is emotional. While it is implied he was always a fussy baby, he’s very sensitive to change, and shows that children are capable of picking up on things that the adults in their lives try to hide. His abandonment issues run deep, and will cause him to lash out until he is older and learns better self control and comes to terms with his father’s death. It is not uncommon for children of single parent homes to become resentful, if not at their present parent, but at the one that is gone. It is difficult for Edge to separate his father’s death, and Red’s fights with Sans, away from himself, and his self-centric view of the world.

Gaster - The (sympathetic?) antagonist. There are points where you love to hate him, and other times, you have to step back. He’s the authoritarian parent that dictated most of his child’s life up until that child literally vanished and became a hermit for a while. It isn’t through callousness or unkindness that he acts this way, but in what he believes is the opposite. He struggles with emotions, especially showing them, an example of how often older generations, especially males, often don’t/can’t/won’t show emotional vulnerability. He wants the best for Sans and those he cares about, even if he often fails to show it properly.

Web - The dead dad. Red’s relationship with Web is complicated. He remembers when Web was a brilliant man, even if not the most fatherly of fathers. But he also laid witness to his fall from grace as well, his drinking habit the most evident. His role is ambiguous much of the story, though he’s left behind hole. His death is the catalyst to a number of the story’s events, and Red’s struggle with him in death is to show the complicated feelings people may have when they lose a loved one who may have not been the best person. Sans’ relationship with him was more to highlight how far he’d actually fallen in the end from where he used to be.

Toriel - The mother. She is a maternal presence in many character’s lives. Her mothering is revealed to be related to her inability to conceive a child. Infertility is a common problem for women. She goes on to foster, babysit and even adopt after Asriel is born. She also an example of the powerful bonds we form with others and how sometimes families are found. Toriel was as much of a mother to Sans as she was Asriel.

The Fallen Humans - The catalyst. If Frisk didn’t exist, there wouldn’t be a story. After all, she was the child that climbed the mountain, starting the events of Undertale. Frisk and Chara both are implied to have troubled pasts, which lead them to being vulnerable to that idea of absolute power corrupts absolutely. The meddle. They are often selfish and don’t consider the consequences of their actions, and when they do, there is a sense of it doesn’t matter. Nothing matters when you can manipulate reality itself. But where Frisk possess a sense of guilt for what happened with Sans, Chara does not, and even outright tells Red that he is willing to do anything to accomplish his goals (even if that means hurting everyone else). Kris is a ‘dreamer’, and while he has more control over tweaking the events that play out, he is far less calloused by RESETS and LOADS. He just wants to be close to his brother Asriel, as well as help his ‘siblings’ find a sense of belonging.

Undyne - The Protagonist’s parallel. A child of divorce, which for monsters often leads to trauma and death, she is left to be raised by Gerson. She’s angry, resentful and prone to get in fights. Red often compares her to Edge, but can also empathise deeply with her troubles. At fourteen she is old enough to understand the reality of the situation, but also young enough to be deeply affected by the changes. Given the rarity of divorce, it is implied that her home life was unstable before the events of the story. Red tries to help her as he never got help himself.

Asriel - The miracle child. Mostly a background character. Asriel’s main connections are to Kris and the Dreemurs. He was the child that a couple struggling with fertility finally conceived. His being born, however, resulted Gaster creating Red for Webdings.

Asgore - The powerful person. Gaster and Toriel both have names that are impactful in the community, but Asgore is the founder of Dreemur Medical and Biotech. He was the King of Monsters. Despite his passive role, he influences many of the character’s choices and actions but simply EXISTING as a person of importance. Gaster tries to literally create viable monster cloning/fertility enhancement methods for him which lead to Sans and Red being born. His inviting Web to work with determination led to the creation of the Machine.

Gerson - The substitute parent. His main role in the story is as a family friend of Undyne’s and in the end, her new parental figure. She resents him and he takes care of her. He cannot replace what she’s lost, but he tries to provide her a future. A hard role to fill in a child’s life.

Grillby - The old friend. Grillby plays are far more subtle part. He’s survived a broken Soulbond, he’s friends with Sans, and through every up-and-down, he’s remained open to Sans when he comes back around. Sometimes as children we form friendships with adults that are just as strong as those we form with our peers. This is true for Sans.

There are a few more characters that show up mostly for color and world building but don’t play a significant part in pushing the themes of the story.

CONCLUSION

Would I do this again? Yes. I am planning on continuing the 100 word trend in the Pre-Sequel This Way Up. It may be truer to the spirit of drabbles since we will have a lot more ground to cover since it will be telling Sans’ history. We’ll get to learn more about Gaster, Webdings, the Dreemurs, Grillby and the Fallen Humans. And for those of you who want to know more about the HwC boys as they are? Moving Day will fill in the blanks. And I also promised a sequel. Bubblewrap Blues will take place significantly in the future and center around a certain aptly named skeleton and the edgy boy that likes to get coffee in his cafe.

I’m pleased with how the story turned out.

I never expected the reaction and the feedback. To those of you who commented and kudosed. Thank you. And to those who quite literally followed me from the start, reading and commenting near every day if not every day? You’re extra amazing. Thank you. Thank you so much.

[phoenixfeatherquillwriting]

Mortem-“My Horse cannot be seen. I am not kind, I am not cruel. I am Death.”

I decided to hold off on the official introductory posts for a little bit while the Horsewomen are still in development, but have some moodboards in the meantime! This one is for Mortem, AKA Death.

About the Images

Mortem has a strong association with ravens, which have long been symbols of death. She keeps some as companions, and has the ability to transform herself into a flock of ravens (called a “conspiracy”) if she chooses.

In Revelations, her horse is simply described as “pale.” Since Infirmum already has a white horse, Mortrem’s horse is technically invisible. (I had no luck finding any suitable art, so I chose a horse made from ravens instead.)

Mortem is the only one of the Four Horsewomen who still has wings, presumably because of the great distances she must travel. (The other Horsewomen had their wings burned off when they Fell.) Mortem’s wings also resemble a raven’s. The design in the image is based on Angelina Jolie’s costume wings in Malificent.

The quote in the top center comes from Markus Zusak’s The Book Thief. Rather fitting for Mortem, as she deeply struggles when she is required to take human children before they have had the chance to grow up. The children are usually fascinated by her wings, so she wraps them up securely for their journey. (She also has the ability to cry human tears.)

Mortem is the oldest and the first to Fall, since death as a concept is eternal. Because of this, she has a unique relationship with God. She also travels directly to Heaven’s Gates to ensure the souls make it safely to their guardian angels who guide them the rest of the way once they go through the Gates. Thus, she does have a tendency to put on a “show” for God at times-more about that on her intro post.

Tags: @toboldlywrite, @inkdropsonroses, @lady-redshield-writes, @golden-eyed-writer, @incandescent-creativity, @homesteadchronicles, @thewrittenpost , @insearchof-solace, @musicofglassandwords, @hannahs-creations, @sunnydwrites, @fayethesuccubus, @withered-rose-unbreakable-lotus, @cryptid-kaz, @izabelleking, @demidemonwrites, @dove-actually, @no-url-ideas-tho

(Tags are based on having already expressed interest, or having a WIP with similar themes/settings, so I thought you might like this! Let me know if you would like to be added or removed.)

[ebonysword0]

Talentswap AU. Most Likely, Least Likely and Why? Part 3

Here's Part 3 of the list for which talent the students from the third game I think would most likely, or least likely have based on a few things like researching the facts about the character. The actions they make. Or due to their talents being similar to another.

Edit: Added Ultimate Bodyguard and Secret Agent. They are from Danganronpa Zero

Kaede Akamatsu

Most Likely:

Ultimate Princess - Leader type

Ultimate Student Council President - Same as above

Ultimate Moral Compass - Same as above

Ultimate Musician

Ultimate Therapist

Least Likely:

Ultimate Biker Gang Leader - Dislikes bicycles. (I guess it counts due to a few similarities.)

Angie Yonaga

Most Likely:

Ultimate Entomologist - She doesn't show any fear when being surrounded by massive amounts of insects

Ultimate Clairvoyant - Her being an Oracle of Atua

Ultimate Animator - Her brainwashing techniques

Ultimate Student Council President - Cause she founded the Student Council

Not Sure:

Ultimate Blacksmith - It is said on Angie's Island some plants are known to attack people, as a result, they are unsure if they even are plants. So maybe weapons can help.

Gonta Gokuhara

Most Likely:

Ultimate Breeder -  He knows how to communicate with animals and bugs,

Ultimate Farmer - He has cultivation skills

Himiko Yumeno

Most Likely:

Ultimate Clairvoyant

Least Likely:

Ultimate Entomologist - Strongly dislikes insects

Ultimate Swimming Pro - Dislikes the ocean

Not Sure:

Ultimate Child Caregiver - one of the biggest reasons why she likes being a "mage" is to make her audience happy and smile, especially children.

Kaito Momota

Most Likely:

Ultimate Tennis Pro - He was once a tennis club member

Ultimate Writing Prodigy - Shuichi mentioned that Kaito could probably become a great writer after he told him story from his childhood.

Least Likely:

Ultimate Gambler - Lost to Ryoma multiple times

Ultimate Lucky Student - Same as above

Not Sure:

Ultimate Pop Sensation - He claimed to have taught a popular popstar to sing and dance. Not sure if he's exaggerating.

K1-B0

Not Sure:

Ultimate Pop Sensation - Initially, his dream is to have a robot idol business in the future and he wishes to be a pop star. However, K1-B0 does not appear to fully grasp how singing works, as his singing voice resembles a long, rasping sigh increasing into a higher note and shouting. His singing voice is apparently so terrible that it causes Shuichi to throw up. Because of this, he gives up on the idea of being a pop star. But is that the case if he's human?

Ultimate Traditional Dancer - He greatly loves Japanese culture, including Japanese food, kimonos and wind chimes.

Ultimate Secret Agent - Reference to him being Danganronpa Audience's Surrogate

Kirumi Tojo

Most Likely:

Ultimate Housekeeper

Ultimate Cook

Least Likely:

Ultimate Neurologist - She can't perform surgeries

Not Sure:

Ultimate Nurse - She states that even though she can't perform surgeries, she has a medical experience

Ultimate Child Caregiver - Despite being described as "motherlike", she said that being called a mom can be taken as an insult for some women, including her. She dislikes being called the "mom" of the group.

Ultimate Therapist

Ultimate Princess - While she does things that upper class might frown upon (cooking, cleaning), she does concern for her nation and its people. (Idea: maybe she can act as a double for the real royal or is adopted)

Ultimate Baseball Star, Ultimate Swimming Pro, Ultimate Gymnast, Ultimate Tennis Pro, Ultimate Boxer, Ultimate Wrestler, Ultimate Aikido Master, Ultimate Swordswoman, Ultimate Martial Artist - She is also talented at various sports (Not sure which sport, so I added them all in the same bullet)

Ultimate Bodyguard - Although she said that her being hired as a bodyguard is just a rumor, her past mentioned from her third Free Time Event (with Shuichi) says otherwise.

Kokichi Oma

Most Likely:

Ultimate Gamer - He mentions he loves video games and has been playing them his whole life

Ultimate Analyst

Least Likely:

Ultimate Entomologist - Fear of insects

Not Sure:

Ultimate Fashionista - In the official art book, it's stated that he is quite nonchalant about his hair, but he does possess a true sense of fashion he keeps hidden and displays through his colorful underwear, supposedly not finding it fitting with his supreme leader image.

Ultimate Biker Gang Leader

Ultimate Detective

Korekiyo Shinguji

Most Likely:

Ultimate Adventurer

Ultimate Nurse - He can learn to take care if his sister

Not Sure:

Ultimate Swordsman - Mostly from that katana in his Research Lab

Maki Harukawa

Not Sure:

Ultimate Lucky Student

Ultimate Maid

Ultimate Housekeeper

Ultimate Nurse

Ultimate Swordswoman - Mostly from that bonus scene in Chapter 4 which looks like young Maki holding a practice sword. But I also thought it would make her true talent Ultimate Assassin too obvious.

Ultimate Bodyguard

Miu Iruma

Most Likely:

Ultimate Child Caregiver - Her Love Suite event and her behavior towards Monotaro implies that she likes children

Ultimate Mechanic

Ultimate Programmer

Not Sure:

Ultimate Pharmacist - Heavily implied by her own words that she had a tendency to use powerful hallucinogenic drugs in highly stressful situations, to make herself forget all about it.

Ultimate Clairvoyant - Despite her strange way of thinking, Miu actually gets the culprit right in every single trial she participates in, often very early on to boot, she just doesn't have the deductive skills to answer the how and why.

Ultimate Detective - Same as above but she is not nearly as skilled at detective work and often needs correction on her deductions

Rantaro Amami

Most Likely:

Ultimate Child Caregiver - Due to his care of his little sisters

Ultimate Anthropologist - He can travel places to places in order to learn about customs, legends, folklore, poetry, etc. (It's similar to being an Adventurer)

Ultimate Fashionista - Due to him apparently learning a lot about makeup and other things that are often considered feminine from his younger sister, he could've learned about fashion.

Ultimate Analyst

Not Sure:

Ultimate Prince - He likes Extraterritorial rights, which is relevant if he's the prince of Novoselic

Ultimate Affluent Progeny - His traveling helped his father's business with the search of new markets.

Ultimate Lucky Student - He's described as one of the more ordinary students

Ryoma Hoshi

Most Likely:

Ultimate Breeder - He loves animals

Ultimate Gambler - He beats Kaito at gambling multiple times

Least Likely:

Ultimate Yakuza: His family and girlfriend got killed by them so… yeah

Shuichi Saihara

Most Likely:

Ultimate Writing Prodigy - Likes novels

Ultimate Photographer - To show his gratitude to his uncle, Shuichi helped him by working as his assistant in his detective agency. Maybe as a post-mortem photographer?

Not Sure

Ultimate Secret Agent

Tenko Chabashira

Most Likely:

Ultimate Boxer

Ultimate Wrestler

Ultimate Gymnast

Ultimate Martial Artist

Least Likely:

Ultimate Fashionista - Despite possessing a great love for idols, fashion, and cute things. She's described as a "fashion disaster".

Ultimate Swimming Pro - She does not know how to swim

Not Sure:

Ultimate Pop Sensation - We know she's a fashion disaster, but we don't know about her singing.

Ultimate Cook - She is shown to have unusually developed sense of taste and sensitivity to food's texture.

Tsumugi Shirogane

Most Likely:

Ultimate Imposter - She is capable of matching Danganronpa characters appearances, voices, and mannerisms perfectly.

Ultimate Fanfic Creator

Ultimate Lucky Student - She sees herself as the one who has the plainest appearance and personality

Not Sure:

Ultimate Secret Agent - a reference to her being a part of Team Danganronpa

[jbuffyangel]

Stolen Identity: Arrow 7x10 Review (My Name Is Emiko Queen)

Arrow kicks off their mid season with a slumpy snoozer of an episode, but there are a few golden nuggets to chat about.

Let’s dig in…

Olicity

Oliver is beginning his new career as a legal vigilante by working with SCPD as a consultant. I wonder how much that pays. Hmmm. 

Anyway, Dinah is a little know-it-all about the crime scene when she tells Oliver, “Try not to screw it up.” 

Source:  smoakmonster

By screw it up do you mean solve all the cases the SCPD can’t? Because that’s what Oliver has been doing the last six years. He was casing crime scenes while you were in cleaning toilets in the police academy, Dinah. Actually, I don’t know if that’s true. Oliver and Dinah are pretty close in age, but I’m feeling punchy today so I’m standing by my analogy.

The forensics officer is feeling punchy about Oliver too. Apparently, not everyone is thrilled the Green Arrow is working with the police now. God only knows why. It’s not like he hasn’t saved the city from annihilation several times. OH WAIT HE HAS. Ungrateful twats.  Respect your elders!

Can we have a side bar about the SCPD? 

They are throwing shade at Oliver and instructing him to not screw up a crime scene, but if they did their jobs in the first place the city wouldn’t need the Green Arrow. Are we really blown away by the SCPD’s accomplishments over the last seven years? They can’t arrest anyone unless Oliver delivers them with a bow. We are given the token “good” cop every season:

Quentin Lance: great detective, but ended up working with the Green Arrow because crimes actually were solved then

McKenna Hall: shot and left the city

Billy Malone: shot and killed

Dinah Drake: became a vigilante

Curtis’ boyfriend: also shot and I can’t even remember his name

They were incapable of handling Malcolm Merlyn, Slade Wilson and Ra’s Al Ghul’s attacks. The citizens of Star City fought back with Oliver against Damien Darhk. Oh and the entire police department was corrupted by Diaz. Not to mention crime is back on the rise and the citizens are bemoaning the lack of Green Arrow assistance. Not exactly a stunning endorsement of the SCPD, so cool it with the uppity comments. You’d be dead ten times over if it weren’t for Oliver Queen.

Oliver offers to speed things up by using his “resources” do analyze the blood on a piece of broken window. 

Source:  smoakmonster

Meet Oliver’s resources:

Felicity has a new security system which can read DNA. 

Source:  felicitysmoakgifs

Uhhh that’s amazing. I want one. 

Source:  feilcityqueen

My babies are all made up and back to being a united team with adorable they’re-so-married banter punctuated by smush face smooches. WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE FANDOM! 

These two fell in love over a bullet ridden computer, so analyzing DNA is their idea of Netflix and chill. 

Source:  felicitysmoakgifs

Look how happy Felicity is! Has a cuter cupcake ever existed? The correct answer is, “No except for your daughter Jen.” Why thank you. I quite agree.

We all know Felicity has Oliver’s DNA sequencing memorized. 

Source:  olicitygifs

Yes, I know the memories of the Season 4 crossover are still traumatic. If you are triggered watch the Olicity wedding to ward off the flashes and nightmares. 

Oliver is a little too surprised the archer is a woman. 

Source:  felicitysmoakgifs

Hey! We have hands and eyes too big fella. Men aren’t the only ones who can point an arrow. Hang on. That sounded dirty. 

My point (HA!) is GIRL POWER.

I love how Felicity asks Oliver to sit down and he does his patented side eye thing and asks why. Hilarious. I never tire of that reaction from Oliver. 

Felicity is remarkably calm which, let’s be honest, is probably because she’s relieved Emiko is just Oliver’s sister and not another spawn from a one night stand. No offense William. Mama Jen loves you pumpkin.

Oliver, however, is shocked. Is it really a big surprise your father was a little slutty back in the day, Oliver? Apple meet tree. 

Robert keeps enormous secrets and expects Oliver to fix all his “wrongs” post mortem. That’s it. That’s the show. 

And yet I still love Robert Queen and so does Oliver. If Robert was alive right now Oliver would probably punch his dad, then hug him, and ask all the questions he wants. Scratch that. Oliver would hug his dad first and then punch him. Unfortunately, Robert is dead and there’s no one to really answer why. There’s no where Oliver can channel his hurt, anger and confusion. The same goes for Emiko. Or is there? Hunting bad guys with a bow and arrow is therapy in this family.

Source: olicitygifs 

Felicity continues to win the award for Supportive Wife of the Year. Oliver is floundering in unknown yet familiar waters and Felicity is his life raft. She handles all of this like a pro. She’s probably used to Queen family shenanigans by now. Noah’s criminal record and Donna’s penchant for five inch heels really pales in comparison to the crap Oliver’s parents pulled.

Oliver wants whatever answers he can find before he introduces himself to new little sister. As Felicity said, Robert Queen did love a good paper trail. It seems he handed those books out as stocking stuffers. Is it the same book? Or maybe Emiko made her own book and this is some truly bizarre Queen genetic characteristic.

Oliver doesn’t have it all together and he’s spiraling a bit. Oh how far we’ve come my friends. A few years ago Oliver would have shut down and buried his head inside that hood.

And now he’s allowing himself to feel. Oliver is hurt, angry, confused, ashamed and deeply sad. He’s grieving the relationship he was cheated of having with Emiko for all these years. Yet again, Robert and Moira have acted in their family’s self interests and without much concern who they destroyed in the process. 

The reason why Oliver is falling to pieces is because he knows Felicity will be there to pick them up. Oliver doesn’t need to be on top of things because Felicity is, and even better, he is letting her take care of him. Oliver no longer chooses to go it alone. We’ve come light years with Oliver Queen.

Source:  felicitysmoakgifs

Oliver’s love and pride in his wife bubbles to the surface even when grappling with another earth shattering secret being exposed. This soft smile is pure you-are-my-genius-and-I’m-so-thankful-I-wife’d-you-so-hard. You can feel the relief Oliver feels over being home with Felicity, out of prison and in his own damn body. He can face anything as long as she’s by his side. Slabside didn’t cause any kind of regression. In fact, Oliver came home ready to double down on everything he’s learned over the last six years. He is holding onto his wife even tighter now. It’s beautiful to see.

Does anyone else find it hard to believe it took seven years for Oliver to discover a secret storage unit given how shady both his parents were?

At least it gives us more adorable Olicity. Felicity looking at Baby Oliver’s drawings is everything I didn’t know I needed.

Source: oliverxfelicity

This Thea mention isn’t accidental. It took time for Oliver to love Thea. I am fairly certain my sisters are still adjusting to my arrival and I’m 37. Oliver was just a little boy reacting like how many older children react to the news a sibling is on the way. However, it’s slightly applicable to what is happening with Emiko and Oliver. They will grow on each other. It will just take time.  

Of course, there’s a letter from Robert Queen to Walter Steele in like the third box, sitting right on top, which explains exactly who Emiko is. This is major plot contrivance even by Arrow standards, but whatever.

Robert admits he loved Kazumi Hadachi and the daughter they had together, but abandoned them both. They were supposed to be cared for in the event of Robert’s death (translation: write a check Walter), but that never happened because of Moira. 

Who didn’t see that one coming? 

This has Moira “I Hide Babies And Lie About DNA” Queen’s sticky fingers all over it. If you are losing track allow me to refresh your memory: 

Moira paid Samantha off and let Oliver believe she miscarried

She lied about Thea’s biological father

Kept Robert Queen’s love child hidden and in abject poverty for her entire life. (allegedly)

I love Moira and she has her good points, but man she was a piece of work sometimes. 

The question of course is why? Moira knew Robert had affairs. It’s the reason she had an affair with Malcolm – a little tit for tat. Emiko is older than Thea though, so one of two things happened: 

1) Walter showed Moira the letter and she found out about Emiko after Robert’s death. She refused to follow his wishes and locked up the secret in a never-to-be-found storage unit. 

2) Moira knew about Emiko and Kazumi, but forced Robert to give them up. He left the letter to Walter in hopes he would circumvent Moira. It seems Walter did not do as Robert asked or he tried and Moira stopped him.

Oliver: How can I believe that he ever loved anybody but himself? How could he abandon them in the first place?

Felicity: I don’t’ think Moira gave him much of a choice.

Felicity has danced this paternity dance before with Moira Queen. So, she’s leaning towards Option 2 and I agree.

Oliver already answered the why. Kazumi and Emiko were Robert’s second family. There was another woman and child Robert deeply loved. We can multiply whatever hurt Oliver is feeling by this betrayal ten times over for Moira. Cheating is one of the worst things you can do to your partner.

I sympathize with the pain Moira must have felt after discovering Emiko and Kazumi, but it doesn't excuse what she did. Robert should have acknowledged his child and cared for both, but that would be unacceptable to Moira for a few reasons. 

She would never allow Robert to make a public mockery of her. Moira would be humiliated if Starling City knew Robert cheated on her and had a second family. Furthermore, the scandal would be enormous and could damage the Queen family name – i.e. their company, which means the bottom dollar.

Moira always did whatever she believed necessary to protect her children. Thea wasn’t born yet, but I’m sure Moira viewed Oliver as the rightful heir to the kingdom. She wouldn’t want a child not of her blood threatening to take it all away or force Oliver to share it.

It’s not just that Robert cheated either. It’s about who he cheated with. The Queen family was like royalty to Starling City. Robert cheating on Moira Queen with a poor woman from the Glades. This would be another level of humiliation to Moira. Nope. She ain’t having that. 

Moira was absolutely classest enough about the Glades to look down on someone like Kazumi. Hell, she was working with Merlyn to blow up the Glades at one point. Moira looking down on someone like Kazumi isn’t a stretch. 

There could be a level of revenge to this. Robert hurt Moira deeply and chances are she wanted to punish Robert. He had to make a choice and he better damn well choose Oliver and her.  

Not that I’m putting this all at Moira’s feet. These are Robert’s choices too. Moira can demand all she wants, but it was Robert who ultimately made the call. He walked away from Kazumi and Emiko. He abandoned them.

Obviously, it’s wonderful Robert raised Thea as his own. However, Emiko does bring another layer to the decision. Robert was denied a relationship with his biological daughter, so of course Thea gave him an avenue to a father/daughter relationship again. Perhaps, Robert’s forgiveness and acceptance was atonement too. He acknowledged his actions were no better than Moira’s.  

However, if Moira refused to let Emiko be part of their lives then Robert refused to do the same to Thea. It is forgiveness Moira did not show him. She could have welcomed Emiko into her life just like Felicity welcomed William. Robert loving Thea was a constant reminder to Moira that she did not give Emiko the same love. That could be viewed as extremely passive aggressive behavior. Their marriage was so fucked up. Yikes.

Oliver: I worked so long and hard to redeem my family’s name after the terrible things they’ve done, but abandoning someone and a little girl? It’s unforgivable.

Yeah that line is no accident either. I’m quietly whistling and taking a long hard look at the flash forwards and Blackstar.  If William and Roy do not know her, and she is Oliver and Felicity’s daughter, then they must have been forced to separate from or hide her. It won’t be anywhere near the same situation as Robert and Emiko, but there could be some kind of parallel drawn.

The first five years of Oliver’s story was about a son righting his father’s wrongs. Oliver is still dealing with the consequences of Robert Queen’s sins, but they’ve added another layer to his character. Now Oliver is the father. He’s had to sacrifice his family to do noble things, but that doesn’t make the pain of those sacrifices any easier.  

I’m sure Oliver and Felicity will have a good reason for all of their decisions in the future, but it doesn’t make it any less painful for their children. It’s not an apples to apples comparison by any means, but Oliver may come to understand or even sympathize more with the choices his father made.

That said, it’s hard to imagine Oliver and Felicity “abandoning” their children for any reason given how strongly Oliver has reacted to what Robert did and how hard they both fought to bring their family back together. Also, this is Oliver and Felicity we’er talking about here. Oliver would loathe himself to repeat the same behavior. So, if this isn’t all a ruse, I’m expecting some seriously major extenuating circumstances.

I also want to add we may be dealing with a very broad definition of abandonment at least when it comes to William. Based on Beth Schwartz’s remarks from her latest interviews, the abandonment William is referencing in the future may very well be Oliver and Felicity sending him to board school.

Uhh... that’s not abandonment kiddo. But it’s also entirely possible another separation is coming too.

However, Oliver is exactly who Robert Queen asked him to be – a better man. Whatever mistakes Robert made with his life and children, Oliver will either avoid or fix it. Oliver is the hero and father Robert never could be. The only real  certainty we have is Oliver’s love, honor, selflessness and constant striving to be better can heal whatever pain is caused. That’s just who Oliver is. It’s why we love him.

Source:  olicitygifs

This is exactly what Felicity tells Oliver on their balcony, complete with shoulder nuzzle. 

Source:  olicitygifs

Robert committed a great wrong by abandoning his own child. Oliver can’t fix everything for Emiko, but he can offer to be something no Queen ever has- her family.

Emiko and Rene

It’s very important to the Arrow writers that we understand Emiko is just like Oliver. She chases bad guys in dark alleys, hangs them upside down and puts the fear of God into them until they talk. She has her very own book with names to cross off. (Seriously how many copies did Robert Queen hand out?) Emiko works in a super secret dilapidated lair with perfectly lit soft glow lights.

Not green though! Emiko is back lit in purple because she’s a girl.  Honestly, at times it looks a little red too. Do what you will with that information, but no green lights should be your immediate tip off that Emiko won’t become the new Green Arrow. Is Arrow really that obvious? Yes, my sweet summer children. They are.

Emiko even has her own voice over talking about injustice, the broken system and how someone must stand up to stop it. The similarities to Oliver don’t end there! Emiko is also a stubborn, extreme loner with severe anger issues. I may have wiki’d Bereavement Disorder too. But darn it, Emiko has a good heart and is a hero too!

If you’ve sensed some sarcasm coming from me you’d be right. I know the Arrow writers love a good parallel. It’s their crack cocaine, but pulling major beats from Oliver’s storyline and making Emiko Oliver 2.0 felt like lazy writing to me. It’s a quick way to imbed Emiko in the story without doing seven years of character building. Oliver did all the heavy lifting and Emiko is cashing in.

She even gets shot and has to turn to her beautiful, genius, funny and IT – wait. No. Emiko goes to Rene. Not Felicity. I suppose it’s nice our couple is so iconic the writers are stealing storylines from them, but get your own damn shipper moments! I draw the line at Rene being the Felicity in any situation. Nope. No sir. Unacceptable.

I’m hopeful we’ll get more individualism from her character as she develops. I know I am typically a fan of the super obvious parallel, but it felt like a short cut this time around. The great thing about all these similarities to Oliver is they will be like two cats fighting. They’ll drive each other nuts. Or at least Oliver will drive Emiko nuts. Oliver will be more focused on apologizing for their douche bag dad and begging for a chance to get to know her.

After Rene blows one of Emiko’s ambushes she warns the next time it happens she’ll put an arrow in him. There. We found a difference! Oliver would have shot Rene now. 

But Emiko wants to know why Rene is helping her.

“You said your mission is personal. So is mine. I watched as my wife got shot to death by a drug dealer from these streets. And for a long time, all I saw was red. Then I met Oliver Queen and the team and they helped me channel my anger into a fight for a better life. I just want to pay that forward.”

It’s a good speech except Rene leaves out how he turned states evidence on Oliver, but that’s just details. There’s another nod to red. Someone on Twitter told me Emiko will become Red Arrow, so maybe that’s going to happen. Or it could mean nothing. Time will tell. Rene does get Emiko to trust him and she finally fills us all in on her back story.

A fire began in Emiko and Kazumi’s apartment building, but the fire department never came because it was in the Glades. The building burned down and her mother died. However, Kazumi wasn’t killed by the fire. Emiko believes she was shot in the head by Glen Morgan. Emiko is hell bent on getting justice for her mother’s death.

Unfortunately, Glen Morgan swears he didn’t kill Emiko’s mother. He was out of the country for the last two years. He’s being set up. This means Emiko is no closer to finding her mother’s killer. I have a feeling Kazumi’s murder will lead back to A.R.G.U.S. and Deputy Director Bell. 

Emiko needs Oliver’s help, but they’ll have plenty of issues to work through. No shortage of drama there! 

Source:  felicitysmoakgifs

Felicity: I mean I’m no therapist but I’m pretty sure the technical term for that is cry for help.

Felicity is right. Becoming Green Arrow 2.0 isn’t exactly a subtle way of signaling a connection to Oliver. 

Emiko put on the hood after Oliver admitted who he was and went to prison. She had to know either Oliver or Team Arrow would be curious about her identity. Perhaps Emiko thought it would be impossible to discover her identity because Oliver was in prison, she’s not in the system, and there are no birth records. Emiko Queen doesn’t exist according to the world.

Source: @smoaktechs

Hence her anger. She was abandoned by her father and then again by the Queen family after he died. Robert’s reasons don’t really matter to me. The bottom line is he chose Oliver and Thea over Emiko. At least that’s how it looks, regardless of Robert’s intentions, and I’m fairly certain this is how Emiko feels about it too.

So, it’s not all that surprising she chose to put on the hood after Oliver’s incarceration. The hood serves as a great vehicle for Emiko to find justice and she knows her identity will be fairly well protected. It signals a connection to Oliver, but also frustratingly denies him the answer to what the connection is. It is Emiko’s way of saying, “I know who you are, but you don’t know who I am,” while giving Oliver the middle finger.

However, the real reason Emiko became the Green Arrow was to steal a part of Oliver’s identity. She wanted to take something precious from Oliver’s life just like he took something precious from hers. Emiko wanted Oliver to see someone else living the identity that was rightfully his. She wants Oliver to sit in jail and watch, absolutely powerless to stop it. Just like Emiko was powerless to stop being denied a Queen.

@callistawolf mentioned this in our 7x10 podcast but it is so bang on I have to mention it here. Emiko is like Will Scarlet from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. 

Robin lost his mother at a young age and his father found comfort in the arms of another woman for a time. Robin felt Lord Locksley was betraying his mother’s memory, so his father gave the woman up. Will Scarlet was the product of their affair. Instead of living in comfort, with a father who loved him, Will and his mother were forced to live in poverty. Will was denied the name and life that was rightfully his because their father chose Robin.

Will: It’s not a lie! You ruined my life! I have more reason to hate you than anyone, but I found myself daring to believe in you. What I want to know brother is will you stay with us and finish what you started?

Robin: I have a brother? I have a brother. I will make my stand with you. Side by side.  Until the end.

It’s a great scene. I get choked up every time I watch it. No it doesn’t matter Kevin Costner could never master an English accent. Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves is the shit. Don’t @ me.

To be fair, Robin didn’t know about Will Scarlet so directing all the blame at him isn’t entirely fair. The same goes for Oliver. He didn’t know about Emiko so whatever anger is being directed at him isn’t entirely fair either. However, Will could only direct his anger at Robin because their father was dead. Sound familiar? We’ve even got the damn bow and arrows kids.

It’s not about what Oliver did for Emiko. It’s about what he represents. But as Emiko embraces a darker path with Rene, it is clear her big brother is exactly who she needs right now.

Flash Forwards

We finally see the inside of the Glades in the flash forwards and it looks exactly like the Capitol from The Hunger Games. 

Everything is bright, shiny and everyone feels evil. As we predicted, Rene is a mayor. 

He has spectacularly awful hair and needs to lay off the spray tan. 

It’s bad friends. It’s real bad.

A man who looks exactly like Seneca Crane hails Rene as the person who single handedly cleaned up the Glades. Uhhhh okay? 

Zoe is Chief of Staff, but she doesn’t seem to really care. She tries to tell Rene about the plan to blow up Star City, but Rene doesn’t  seem to really care. Well, great. Good talk guys.

Rene: When the Glades needed help no one came to our rescue.

Listen up, Mr. Mayor. Oliver Queen’s mission was never about saving part of the city. The mission was to save ALL of Star City. What’s happening to the citizens outside the Glades in the flash forwards is not any better than what’s happening to the citizens inside the Glades during present day. The location of the problem is just flipped, but it’s still the same problem. Rene is no savior and he’s definitely no Oliver Queen.

Zoe wants access to something called the Archer program. It’s the security system that wiped out crime and keeps the citizens of the Glades safe. It also sounds exactly like something Felicity Smoak would invent and then name after her husband. I STAN ONE COUPLE. 

In fact, Felicity is working on a new security system in present day which registers DNA (thanks to Delaney @Lane1812 for pointing that out!). That is probably the first genesis of the Archer program.

At some point this security program falls into the wrong hands - Deputy Director Bell perhaps or maybe the Ghost Protocol goes terribly wrong. According to Rene, they “barely recovered.” I’m assuming he’s talking about the Glades. It’s been a couple years since the Glades were attacked and it would make a great parallel to Star City being under attack in the flash forwards.

Rene refuses to give Zoe the codes to the Archer program and she pretty much gives him my speech (re: see above) about the days he used to give a crap about the entire city. You’re doing great, sweetie.

Dinah arranges a clandestine meeting by night with Rene and by that I mean she sneaks up on him. He refuses to hand over the codes until Dinah threatens to beat the crap out of him. Dinah would totally win. The accuracy is real.

She did try to appeal to Rene’s conscience first. Dinah tells him Felicity is dead and he seems genuinely shocked by the news. Dinah reminds Rene he is part of the Mark of Four and they owe it to Felicity to stop whatever is going to happen to Star City.

Dinah: We made a promise to always keep fighting, to be there for each other no matter what – all of us. You, me, Roy, Diggle, Oliver and Felicity.

Now we officially know the Mark of Four members. You know what name I didn’t hear? CURTIS HOLT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

We have a shot in hell now of Curtis being kicked off this show at some point. 

I expressed my joy about this on Twitter and I got a couple “this person isn’t on it either” as if it is meaningless Curtis isn’t included.  So I’m going to head these names off at the pass.

1) Barry – there is no way the writers would include a main character from another DC show (the lead no less) to be part of a major Arrow storyline, which the Mark of Four is. Thank you. Next.

2) Bl*ck Siren/L*urel – these characters are all Team Arrow members and BS has never been part of Team Arrow. I don’t think she ever will be. At best, she’ll fill a consultant like role. The Spike to Arrow’s Scooby Gang. For whatever reason she’s not part of the Mark of Four, which isn’t surprising, but in no way compares to Curtis. He is the only Team Arrow member left off the list.

3) Thea – Willa Holland is not on the show anymore. They would not include a character that is no longer on the show.

If you are wondering why Roy is part of the Mark of Four I would buckle up and prepare for some bad Thea news. Either Roy and Thea broke up or she’s dead. Personally, I prefer dead. I don’t want the reason Theroy not getting their happy ending is because they couldn’t make it work. Upside is we’ll get to see Roy in present day and hopefully soon.

Anyway, Curtis being left of the list is significant and nobody can tell me otherwise. I KNOW MY TRUTH. I shall celebrate with glee and keep a watchful eye for a potential exit storyline. 

If Diaz kills Curtis I might have to like him and that scares me.

Rene meets with Flash Forward Seneca Crane to tell him Dinah has “the plans.” So, Flash Forward Seneca Crane is the one planning to blow up Star City. Rene agreed to build up the Glades, but never planned to wipe out the city. Flash Forward Seneca Crane explains Star City is a “cancer which must be cut out.”

Finally, Rene asks about Felicity’s murder. Seneca Crane explains she was becoming a “liability.” It would seem we’ve met Felicity’s “murderer” or at least the person behind her murder. Where’s a bow and arrow when you need one?

If you’re wondering who the hell is Seneca Crane allow me to explain.

Seneca Crane is the head game maker in The Hunger Games, but Katniss Everdeen outsmarts him in the end. There is no way this half baked version of Seneca Crane outsmarted Felicity Smoak. She’s our Katniss Everdeen. Hell, she’s better than Katniss Everdeen. Felicity is alive and working undercover to stop the destruction of Star City. 

I don’t believe Rene is evil either, despite acting like he has zero problem with killing Felicity Smoak. It’s either one of two things. A) He’s been working undercover with Felicity the whole time or B) Rene was unaware of what was truly going on, but now that he does he will work with William & team to stop it.

I’m going with B for now.

Dyla

Back on the other show called “The Stupid Thing Diggle Did This Week,” John offers Diaz his freedom if he hands over the terrorist financier Dante. WHAAAAAAAT?

When Deputy Director Bell asks WTF is going on (dude same) Diggle explains he and Lyla are reinstating the Ghost Protocol, which is basically a poor man’s version of Suicide Squad. Lyla is pissed because Diggle cooked up this plan without discussing it with her and then, by telling Bell, made it impossible not to back it. Lyla shut down the Ghost Initiative and swore never to reopen it. Diggle knew that. He insists it’s the perfect cover for their operation and everything will be fine, which automatically means this will be a disaster.

Lyla: And here I thought I was the one in danger of becoming Amanda Waller.

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN. You want some ice on that burn Diggle?

Diggle needs to go back to Oliver and Felicity. He’s a mess without them.

Stray Thoughts

Hey! Who gave Emiko her mask? *side eyeing Barry Allen*

At some point they will need to tell us who makes the suits. This is like waiting for the identity of Gossip Girl.

Sara gave Emiko a leather jacket too. Uh oh. Don’t tell L*urel. ;)

I’d also like to know where Emiko learned to fight and shoot. Just details. No biggie.

I wish Emiko had money. I miss billionaire Oliver. 

Well I said Emiko’s mother is either China White or a random character. They went with rando.

The aging makeup is extremely bad in high definition. Has anyone Arrow actually met a 50 year old? They don’t look like Rene and Dinah. Moira Queen was 50 when she died. Robert Queen was almost 50 when he died. Did they look like they’ve been left out baking in the sun for twenty years? No. Do they not have hair dye in the future? This is ridiculous. People are living until their eighties and nineties. Fifty is not that old. Get a grip makeup department.

“One of the canaries.” OMG are there more in the future? Canary, LL Bl*ck Canary, White Canary, Bl*ck Siren, DD  Bl*ck Canary, ZR Bl*ck Canary. That’s at least six, but sure Jan she’s an original character.

Rene saying, “We need a person in the chair" proves my exact point about Curtis. The writers are constantly making the genius of Felicity Smoak sound replaceable and it fucking bugs the shit out of me.

Smeh. No matter how much they say they aren't doing a replacement Thea storyline that's exactly what it looks like. There was nothing in this episode that dissuaded my opinion on that matter. It sounds disingenuous to say otherwise.

Arrow is getting into a bad habit of killing mothers. This isn’t a Disney movie. Find a new theme.

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