#four at the gates
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I thought the belly rub comment was a joke...... i hadn't even realised the weave scene was gale's romance scene first time I played...... i'm so sorry for leading you on buddy
THAT SAID oh my GOD Gale going right into talking about "having one's tummy tickled," I didn't even change his dialogue from the game for this one, there's no way to improve it, 10/10 what a nerd.
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#bg3 fanart#gale dekarios#c:aldiirn#doodle comic#sketch#crowbart#originally I was gonna do the easy thing and have aldiirn standing over those four bedrolls by the fire#but nooo i had to do it the hard way and show off his tent#worth it ngl
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how are u on gavv so far? because i need to scream about how insane it has been (and that zakuzakuchips and fuwamallow have won special places in my heart)
can't believe his mom got flavor-blasted to death. 😔 RIP.
#art#kamen rider#gavv#gavv spoilers#for another couple days at least whoops#INSANE SURE IS RIGHT HUH#man they decided to just go as hard as possible right out of the gate didn't they#four episodes in and we've already got two murdered moms#(maybe it's a good thing hajime didn't stick around after all...)#and just. straight up ending with the sad older couple being like “shoma isn't coming home is he :(���#complete with a pan over the photo of their long-dead son#oof#okay gavv calm down for like five seconds#(no it's great)#though i will say they showed SOMEONE getting crushed after being flavor-blasted#but they didn't explicitly show his mom's face so uhhhh maybe a dramatic twist coming up?#let her eat potato chips one last time...
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InTo my PocKet!
#two in less than twenty four hours how are we doing guys#frankie posts#bg3 spoilers#astarion#bg3#astarion acunin#bg3: vid#starry comp#astarion baldurs gate#baldurs gate 3#baldurs gate astarion#baldur's gate 3#baldur's gate iii#u will prrceive him.#INTO MY POCKET MADE ME SQUEAL IT WAS TOO CUTE
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IRON WORK - PEACOCK GATE BUDAPEST
#iron work#herreria#peacock#gate#entrada#pavo real#art nouveau#building#edificio#four seasons#hotel#cuatro estaciones#budapest#budapešť#budapeşte#hungary#hungria#europe#europa
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combatmeta.jpeg
#hollow knight#hollow knight game#hollow knight ghost#little ghost#shitpost#art#drawing#fanart#col 3 is still gating me from four whole achievements#got to the end boss exactly once on my first playthrough in 2020 before giving up#ive a score to settle
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Would Greyhold use his face tentacles to lift weights?
Not Very Well.
Bonus:
#bg3 spoilers#bg3#baldur's gate 3#karlach#greygold#squid greygold#this is too silly I am so sorry#I think the answer might've strayed from the original question but more or less- yes#sadly their strength stat did not improve#but still stronger than the 8 strength bois!#I have never used Hide in Plain Sight EVER. But Greygold would use the free invisibility for fun.#Imagine lil squidgold just rushing at you crawling with all four lil tentacles. Terrifying visual.#really all the strength points are in the tentacles; don't need to exercise those; need a work out for everything else puh
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party talk #1 | mud mephit encounter
“now that wasn’t so bad, was it, darlings?” -guy who hid/had invisibility every turn
#my vengeance paladin sees this as valid grounds to laser one (1) vampire spawn at the creche#shadowheart is two dialogue lines from mclosing it#i've done this fight on four saves and it never ends well#baldurs gate 3#baldur's gate 3#bg3#bg3 fanart#bg3 memes#bg3 spoilers#bg3 tav#dark urge#astarion#karlach#shadowheart#bg3 astarion#bg3 karlach#bg3 shadowheart#our small army of stars
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Some dungeon predictions (and things I'd just like to see xD ) for the upcoming arc!
(inspired by boards I've seen in the past. like this! Art from @/linkeduniverse!)
I love Zelda dungeons and LU dungeon crawling fics are some of my favorites! I'm so excited to see what puzzles Jojo's come up with! Nine person puzzles? Let's goOOO!!! There's so many possible interesting things to do with the chain's items and abilities.
#linked universe#linked universe bingo#mine#would love to see Wind get sand for the phantom sword too!#it's something he pointed out early in the comic so maybe there will be a return to it?#trampolines are my goof prediction. PLEASE!!! xD Legend uses them in OoS and it's so funny to think about#bouncing between levels in a dungeon!!!#(Four kinda does that in MC with the roc's cape too? and Legend again with the tornado rod (albw))#Legend and Time have their mirror shields on them. Wind and Four might have theirs stashed? it'd be cool to see them in play!#I love a good light / energy redirection puzzle#it's been pointed out that the dungeon they're at looks like it might be out of Zelda 2#so I'm thinking it'll be zelda 2 heavy and TP heavy (the statues look like they have spots to be controlled by the dominion rod)#maybe we'll see Ooccoo? hehe#maybe something with switching between which time they're in changes up the dungeon (like the cubes in OoT?)#Wumbodorf on youtube has co-op Twilight Princess and WW series#with some very good multiple Link shenanigans#the game was not built for multiple of them asgjfshfds#Links trapping each other behind doors like- 'step on that switch for me?'#'yep *steps on. gate opens*' 'thank you *goes in*' '*steps off. gate closes*' 'HEY!'#ty again Zola for helping me find one of the boards#AAA I FORGOT BLOCK PUZZLES#A BLOCK SLIDING PUZZLE
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so I saw your requests are open. It seems that Astarion believes- at least in the beginning- that his purpose is to give pleasure. He does it to survive, he does it to gain Tavs trust and affection... what if Tav takes it upon herself to pleasure him. I HC Astarion is more dominant as he regains his autonomy, after centuries of having no say or control hiw would he react to Tav gently kissing him, asking him to let her make him feel good for a change. He's spent all this time giving, he deserves to receive for once. Expecting nothing in return.
Yaaas, let's go. I think I may have made this a lil fluffier than what you had in mind but hopefully it works! Playful/Sweet Tav! This is set before he admits his feelings but still in act 2 so he's like close!
TW: They bang and it's graphic under the cut with some mentions of his backstory, which is fucked up. But yeah, sexing is occurring. 18+ That's it. Pretty sweet outside of his backstory.
~
Astarion was aware the sex could be enjoyable, despite the centuries of the act being used against him. There had been glimmers of genuine pleasure through it all, mostly poisoned by the knowledge of what happened to all of his conquests when the job was finished after, but still. They were there.
Enough for Astarion to be somewhat prepared for the loveliness of being with you. When he had made the choice to seduce you, he had done it assuming that sex would be mediocre at best, and unpleasant at worst.
But no. Instead it just felt... wonderful. A word that Astarion was not used to associating with the deed. Though he supposed it made sense. He did like you after all, even outside of the protection he could get out of you. You were intelligent enough to make for good conversation; you were fun, mischievous even. Enough to match up with his own bitchy little quips. But you were also... sweet. Caring even, though it seemed you had a habit of giving that care to the least deserving mortals in the realm.
Not that that was a bad thing. He had been more than ready to use that kind nature against. It was so easy to worm his way into your heart. And the sex was good? Astarion's luck was almost certainly on the edge of running out, but he'd happily take advantage of the streak while he could.
You were just... so submissive. So ready for him to take the lead. Astarion had developed many personas in bed over the centuries, cultivating them for whatever situation he may need. But they were always tools, it had little or nothing to do with what he wanted. Just what he could use to lure them back to their deaths.
In all honesty, he had tried to do the exact same with you, and he would have too if he hadn't lost control on that first night. But then you had to bare your neck to him, the siren song of your blood screaming at him to bite. And then he just... lost control.
Was it the best sex of Astarion's life? Yes. Was he about to tell you that? No.
And it kept being good. Even on the nights he didn't drink from you, he liked it. Borderline loved it, if he was emotionally capable of associating that word with you. And he wanted to enjoy it while he could. He knew deep down that this was temporary, for more reasons than one. Soon enough he simply wouldn't need you anymore. After you defeated the demon for Raphael, Astarion would have some idea of Cazador's plans, and maybe enough to figure out a way to secure his freedom for good. And unless you planned on killing the man yourself, he... wouldn't have any reason to keep the facade going. Not to mention the obvious fact that you could wake up from your lust-induced stupor and break things off at any moment. Astarion wasn't looking forward to either outcome. But how else would this end? It's not like the two of you could set off into the sunset together, like some inane fairytale.
... right?
Astarion wasn't quite sure anymore. And he certainly wasn't going to figure it out any time soon. It was easier just to push the whole thing out of his mind. Especially now, when the two of you finally had a private room at the Last Light Inn, thank the gods. One more night of calm before they rushed into a temple full of horrors.
It was hard to hide his excitement as he pushed you onto the bed, his fangs already sharpening in anticipation. He wanted you to be marked head to toe by the end of the night, bites, bruises, anything and everything to remind you that you were his.
At least for tonight.
"Wait, wait!" You laughed as Astarion crawled over you, wasting no time in trying to claw your clothes off.
But the ask was enough to make him pause, a flash of worry running through his when he asked, "What's wrong? Did I- are you okay?"
You shook your head at him with a smile, your legs suddenly wrapping tightly around his waist "Nothing sweetheart, I'm fine. But..."
The next thing Astarion knew you were always flipping him over, so fast that he couldn't help but be impressed. He always underestimated just how strong you were. You grinned down at him as you sat atop his thighs, your hands rubbing over his chest through the thin fabric of his shirt, "But I think it's my turn to spoil you for a change."
Astarion furrowed his brow, sincerely confused for a moment. And maybe even a little self-conscious, "Why? I mean-do you not like how-"
"You're very good darling," You gently interrupted with a laugh, your hands already working to pull his shirt over his head, laughed as you sat atop his thighs, doing the work to unbutton his shirt, "Best I've ever had, sincerely. But don't you think that things have been a bit one-sided?"
He hadn't, not for a moment, but he sure as hells wasn't going to complain. Not when he had a gorgeous woman on top of him, one who was already doing the work of taking his cock out.
"Let me take care of you for once," You murmured as you started to stroke his length, pre-come already dribbling at the tip, "Anything you want is yours tonight. Just say the word."
Astarion blinked up at you, momentarily at a loss before regaining his usual confidence. Or at least some of it, "Taking your clothes off would be a fantastic start."
You laughed as you did just that, light and airy while you tore your shirt over your head. Astarion didn't waste any time in surging forward, latching his mouth around your nipple with a groan.
He wrapped his arms around your bare back, pulling you closer as you moaned.
"I'm supposed to be pleasing you," You panted as you slipped your skirt down your thighs, tossing it to the side as he suckled on your chest, "Remember?"
"Pleasing you pleases me," Astarion popped off with a chuckle, looking up at you with dark eyes, "Lovely thing that you are."
You softly smiled down at him before pressing a tender kiss to his lips. And then you were squirming away from him. Ducking out of his arms and lap.
He just hadn't expected you to sink to your knees in front of the bed. You rubbed at his thighs, so close to him that he could feel the heat of your breath against his length.
"Can I?" You asked coyly, the question sweet enough to make him shiver. He would never get tired of that, you always asking for permission for the smallest little things.
Astarion sat up with a smile and a nod, tangling his fingers in your hair as he said, "Of course my sweet, go right ahead."
And off you went. You wrapped your lips around the head, suckling on it like the little minx you were. You looked beautiful down there, your hair in disarray as you swallowed around his cock; more than happy to let him take the lead and force your head to take him fully down your throat.
You were drooling around him, staring up at him with your big wet eyes as you worked your tongue around him. It felt wonderful, amazing even. But it wasn't enough. As lovely as your throat was, it was only his second favorite place to store his cock.
"Get up here my love," Astarion ordered, his voice rough and his mind too preoccupied to notice his own slip. He tightened the hand in your hair, easing you off of his cock with a groan, "As wonderful as your mouth is, I want to be inside you."
You grinned up at him before gracefully standing, your breasts on full display, pretty enough to make Astarion's mouth water. You pushed him back first onto the bed before crawling over him again, the heat of your wet cunt so close to his sensitive cock. You gripped the base of it before rubbing the head over your folds, whimpering as you used him to circle your own clit.
It felt amazing, and it looked even better. But Astarion was nearly out of patience. He gripped your hips, his nails just on the edge of piercing your skin as he growled at you, "Are you trying to kill me darling?"
"Just the opposite," You breathily laughed as you finally started to sink down onto his cock, brokenly moaning all the while, "J-Just want to make you feel good."
You were so wet, tight and perfect around him. And the noises you were making, all of your little whimpers and whines. They would be haunting his dreams for years to come. But it still wasn't enough. Despite how lovely it was to have you bouncing in his lap, he couldn't help but thrust up inside of you, matching your movements in tandem.
You gasped as he really started to fuck into you, hard and deep enough to bring tears to your eyes. You were clutching at his chest, hard enough to make him bleed. Not that he cared. How could he when he had you like this? Desperate and needy as you pussy leaked slick onto him, so soaked that Astarion knew that you had to be close.
It had been a long instilled habit of Astarion to be sure his partner always reached their peak first. It was nearly ingrained in his DNA at this point, a pattern that he had no intention of breaking anytime soon.
But then you were leaning in to kiss him, something that shouldn't have caught him off guard, yet it did.
The press of your lips to his felt so soft, so sweet, nothing like the way he was savagely fucking into you. It was gentle, loving even. And before Astarion knew it he was coming, his end abrupt and explosive. It felt like fireworks bursting behind his eyes; he barely even had the wherewithal to move his hand to rub at your clit. But he managed, and soon enough you were crying out above him, your pussy clenching hard around his still leaking cock.
You were still kissing him in that same tender way, softly licking into his mouth as warmth overtook him. He felt... good. Too good even. Enough so where he barely knew what to do with himself.
You pulled away first, but you didn't go far. Thank the gods, Astarion wasn't... he didn't know if he could handle being apart from you at the moment. You rested your forehead against his, smiling down at him with a smitten look, one that made his heart clench.
"Did you like that?" You asked softly, wincing slightly as you pulled off of his cock, "Because I sure did."
I love you.
The thought came sudden and unbidden, screaming into the front of his mind without his consent. He didn't-he wasn't-why had that come into his head at all?
Astarion tried to stomp the wayward thought down as he gave you a strained smile.
"I loved it," He answered sincerely, the truth of his feelings far too close to the truth of his idiotic heart, "I-thank you darling. You really are amazing, aren't you?"
"Such a charmer," You sighed as you laid down next to him, reaching out to tangle your fingers together, "I really never stood a chance against you, did I?"
That was almost enough to make Astarion break out in hysterical laughter.
But instead he squeezed your hand, his eyes turned to the ceiling while a conflicted smile graced his face, "No. You never did."
He could only hope that continued to be true.
#astarion#astarion x reader#astarion x tav#baldur's gate 3#asks#four more to go!!!!!!!!!!#is this a sad ending?#I don't think so#unknown#nervous little guy#queued post
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gonna start explorers of sky again and blog about the tragedy about to unfold live on my twitter dot com 😁😁😁
#shuake#akeshu#p5 pmd au#persona 5#goro akechi#akira kurusu#pmd explorers#pmd eos#pmd#pmd2#pokemon mystery dungeon#pokemon mystery dungeon explorers of sky#why are there so many tags for this game#i really want to summon my childhood self and create little mini comics based on important story beats#there would be a lot of pokemon changes ……. but it would be so fun#and which character is which will also be great#LIKE IT JUST HIT ME WHO SHIDO IS IN THIS AU AND IM FUCKIGN SCREAMING THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT ACTUALLY YALL ARENT READY#persona 4 would be super. persona 3 would be rescue team btw#p2 prolly gates.#RIP p1 there’s only four games 🫡
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my very first tav, the sage sorcerer who ended up solving every problem with her fists because I didn't understand how the game worked yet
#baldurs gate 3#bg3#baldurs gate tav#bg3 fanart#Astarion#astarion ancunin#people died#because i didn't know you could just knock them out#and i wanted their stuff#rip gale#epilogue party with four companions#cuz the rest died
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hi !! its nice to meet you, im bee!! your art is GORGEOUS!!!!!!!!!! random icebreaker, who's your fav character to draw? 💛
Okay, I've been itching to answer this! Sorry for the wait, I've been super busy but I wanted to answer this one with some doodles!
It's a bit hard to decide, but spoiler alert: it's Zelda. Just all of the Zeldas; it rotates between them often! I especially enjoy designing my own versions (@loz-untold-myths), but one I've had the most fun (and difficulty) drawing lately has been my design for the ancient princess who fought the first Calamity! I headcanon her to be Rauru and Sonia's daughter.
Here's some doodles of her regarding her design's inspirations! ^^ I've been trying to work on her consistency. Thanks so much for the ask and your kind words! It means a whole lot!!! ♡
(Am I using this as an excuse to draw her a bunch and differentiate her from her mother? Maybe a little bit. Understandably, she keeps getting tagged as Queen Sonia...).
More art of her since the doodles sort of don't show the whole design:
Some more info about this design if you're curious! ✦
Hair
▪︎Zelda's hair is by far the most complicated piece despite it not appearing such.
▪︎Her little hair spikes at the back are exaggerated to resemble ALttP Zelda's. :)
▪︎Her hair is mostly the same as Rauru's, even down to the under highlights, but the blonde and white are inverted to resemble her mother's hair.
▪︎Zelda has yet another "under" layer of her hair, made up of white thinner hair that goes from the sides of her head and onto the back/top of her ears. (A small note: Zelda's ears are just as articulate as Rauru's as well, making for a very expressive princess).
Body
▪︎Zelda is given her mother's skin tone, but she has BotW Zelda's body type, face shape, and eye shape (but Sonia's eyelashes).
▪︎Zelda has body paint with patterns of the Light Dragon and Sheikah symbols. She has facepaint more like her aunt Mineru's, highlighting her third eye that resembles the Light Dragon's.
▪︎Zelda's nails are sharp, almost like claws. They are made of the same denser material that Zonai claws are made of; being just as sharp and hard to break.
Clothes
▪︎ Silent Princesses, which have begun to bloom in the wild thanks to the Light Dragon's creation, are woven into her hair.
▪︎The design on her banner is the same shape as the banner on BotW Zelda's royal gown.
▪︎The robes combine the shapes of both of BotW/TotK Zelda's prayer dresses.
▪︎The bracelets are slightly altered versions of BotW Zelda's. The belt is a blockier version of the one in BotW Zelda's robes to replicate the shape/structure of Sonia and TotK Zelda's ornamentation. She has lotus earrings like Mineru and Sonia.
▪︎ She has one arm where the golden bracelet continues into other accessories like the Zonai's, paired with a long blue sleeve underneath.
She has more outfits than this, even a Sheik personality, but these doodles alone somehow took almost seven hours. ^^" If you've read this far, thanks for indulging in my rambling!!
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REBLOGGING IS ENCOURAGED, BUT DO NOT REPOST.
#i know this definitely wasn’t all you were asking for but the gates were ppened skhdoajsosjdkshs#nocturne try to give a simple one sentence answer challenge (100% fail rate)#but yeah short version it's always gonna be zelda! all versions! classic zelda four swords zelda and hilda are quite up there though#nocturne's asks#answered asks#princess zelda#zelda#origins of calamity#ancient zelda#ancient princess#legend of zelda#the legend of zelda#zelda fanart#loz#tloz fanart#tloz#loz fanart#fanart#totk#botw#breath of the wild#tears of the kingdom#zelda breath of the wild#zelda tears of the kingdom#totk zelda#botw zelda#queen sonia#king rauru#totk fanart#botw fanart
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The Reds the Feds and Wash : Car Trouble
Lil writing and bonus under the cut >;3
Locus slammed the mongoose into park, scowling as he approached the stopped Warthogs on the road. One job. He gave them one fucking job. Take the Warthogs, go from point A to point B. It should have been, by all counts, impossible to screw up. AND YET! Here he was, having to come to their rescue. Unfortunate and worse, irritating. At the very least, most of them had the good sense to keep their helmets on. The same could not be said of Donut and Neko, who were both helmetless and mid-conversation like it was a nice day in the park, not high value targets stopped in the middle of the road in a warzone. Not to mention Neko’s… frankly ridiculous perch across the top of the Warthog, legs wrapped around the barrel of the turret and his head on the windshield. Genuinely, what was that idiot doing? That couldn’t be a comfortable position to maintain, especially while talking to Donut who was leaning against the driver side of the vehicle. Locus wondered if the sergeant would shoot him if he walked over there and threw a blow at Donut to prove a point. Agent Washington almost certainly would. Better not to risk it then, no matter how effective it would be at proving a point. Neko was a lost cause at this point, short of taking a blade to that ridiculously long braid, but there were some lines even Locus hesitated to cross. Actually, where was the sergeant? Or Pavoz for that matter? He was so focused on the thought for a moment, Locus almost tripped over Lopez’s legs. The robot was half way underneath the other Warthog, no doubt checking for anything else that could be wrong. Locus’ half a stumble was easily brushed off as him nudging the brown calf plate to get Lopez’s attention. "<You have my part?>" He asked as he pushed himself out from under the car. He was without his helmet as well, surprisingly. But forgivable, seeing as how the light under the Warthog remained steady enough to assume Lopez had been using his helmet as a light source. Lopez, despite being a robot or maybe because of it, was very quickly becoming the second most competent soldier in this group. If nothing else, at least Locus knew he wouldn't fuck around half as much as the rest of them. He pretended he didn't notice Neko's helmet hanging off the turret of the other Warthog. "I do." Locus removed the mechanical component from the compartment in his chestplate, leaning down to hand it to Lopez. "What happened?" "<Dunno. Bad luck, from the looks of it. Or someone drove this thing over a fucking tree, and picked up a squirrel nest or twelve. It's a mess, but this,>" Lopez gestured the piece Locus brought, "<seems to be the only part that needs replacing to at least get this disaster on wheels to a base.>" There was that, at least. Locus crossed his arms. "How long?" "<The rest of today, probably. I need to actually clear this shit out of the undercarriage or it's just going to cause more problems,>" Lopez rolled his eyes, a very human gesture set in a metal face. "<And even then, we won't be able to get moving again until morning. Sarge kept trying to start the damn thing and killed it's battery. It needs time to build up a solar charge before we jumpstart it with the other one.>" Unfortunate. At least the question of the sergeant and Pavoz was answered, as the pair of them came through the underbrush off the side of the road like they were summoned by Lopez mentioning Sarge by name. "-make a Red out of you yet, boy!" Sarge laughed, clearly mid sentence as they rejoined the rest. Pavos nodded along, though how much he actually agreed with the conversation was debatable. The sudden sound of a horn going off had every weapon in the vicinity raised in reaction, before the source became clear as the sound dragged out. Agent Washington's helmet rested on the wheel of the second Warthog, defeat written in the angle of his shoulders. Donut laughed at something, presumably the same thing Washington was reacting to. Neko looked smug, so safe to assume it was probably something he said. Idiots. All of them. Unfortunate.
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I'm not immune to roadtrip arc, and Kimball does say the Federal Army of Chorus moved the Reds and Wash around a lot sooo like >> i'm just saying, it'd be a shame to not make Wash suffer through a red team roadtrip Bonus, sometime the s12 finale and reveal of the armies:
felix's text is so much harder to read off my tablet screen than i thought it was fuck okay transcript time Felix, while reaching for the radio: I'm gonna lose it if we do this entire drive in silence, I swear- Locus: DO NOT
#rvb#red vs blue#rvb donut#rvb locus#rvb sarge#rvb lopez#rvb wash#rvb washington#batsy art#my art#franklin delano donut#samuel ‘locus’ ortez#lopez the heavy#agent washington#rvb oc#rvb oc: the clovers#necoda ‘neko’ micce#anton pavoz#the reds the feds and wash#rvb felix#isaac 'felix' gates#technically#ya know#at the very end for the joke#this is indulgent and so very silly but i drew warthogs and armor for it so yay#i had like four variants of the dialogue pinging thru my head and pov angles to write from#i went w locus just bc it felt interestin and i love him so yaknow#also bc then i wouldnt have to elaborate on the actual conversations the others are having as much so it wouldn't get super bogged down#with dialogue bc u know how reds love to jsut keep fuckin talking (affectionate)#am i missing any tags i dont think so
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Just dragged the six Origin runs in a row through the coronation and this man was giving me these "who tf is this where's durge" expressions throughout it :D
#baldur's gate 3#enver gortash#i only played durge for the four runs prior to this#this is all new to me
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gog i still can't get over minish cap vaati's Everything. He is So Fucking Stupid (affectionate)
Like. This guy's establishing character moment is, in order:
he's introduced as having won an entire tournament to get to touch a magic chest and get a cool sword, which was the prize for said tournament
turns around and does a goddamn evil soliloquy TEN FEET AWAY FROM THE GUARDS who were about to hand him his macguffin on a platter
(like this man fucks up his own horribly planned daylight heist because he cannot keep a lid on the dramatics for FIVE FUCKING MINUTES, IN PUBLIC)
(THE BAR WAS ON THE FLOOR VAATI, FUCKING GANONDORF PLAYS THE PIPE ORGAN FOR HIS OWN BOSS INTRO AND HE STILL KNOWS BETTER THAN THIS SHIT)
proceeds to fight the guards (it is, admittedly, a curbstomp for him, but it still clearly wasn't his plan, because otherwise why bother with the tournament)
gloats evilly
opens chest, unleashing a whole bunch of monsters
exposits out loud about Zelda's powers like a nerd while she is actively charging up her magic powers to kick his ass
RECOGNIZES and IDENTIFIES said magic as the special power carried by the female royal line
completely fails to recognize it as the light force he is currently trying to get his hands on (he spends like 99% of the game not figuring this out.)
petrifies her
(i have no idea if link could have deflected this spell if he had managed to get the right angle with his shield but i like to think somewhere there is a very short and very funny alternate timeline where it happens)
(more importantly: no part of vaati's original presumed plan would have involved doing this. he 100% created this situation for himself by being an dramatic idiot and picking a fight for no good reason.)
looks in the chest
there's no light force
considering his stated goals he might be as confused as you are about the monsters tbh
uhhh
evil laugh
teleports the fuck out
He then proceeds to spend the rest of the game trying to figure out where the light force is and ends up having to wait for Ezlo and Link to figure it out first because he was, as far as I can tell, GENUINELY stuck on this part. He fucking kidnaps and impersonates the King, not for access to Zelda, but to… send guards to go look for the Light Force, presumably because he was either running out of ideas or genuinely thought that would work.
None of the guards even had any idea what he was talking about. He's not even good at impersonating the King. He's already sent like twenty people to the dungeon by the time you get there and it hasn't even been a week. Somehow the game spins this as a cunning plan and clever manipulation or something.
(Meanwhile the guards are just. Poking around in random bushes and shit hoping to find the light force. One of them asks you what you think it might look like.)
Zelda is literally right next to the throne and Vaati does not figure it out until you find an actual honest-to-goodness LORE TABLET spelling out that the Light Force is Stored in the Zelda, at which point he's like "ahahaha you've done my work for me this was definitely my plan all along" and takes over the castle and throws a bunch of monsters at you to stall for time while he figures out how to extract the force from her. Somehow he still doesn't think to actually lock the fucking door.
#vaati#minish cap#loz#mc#he's my stupid little squeak squeak and i love him#meta#op#sorry this got long but i have So Many Words about this little bastard#i think he's a really fun foil to ganondorf tbh -#ganondorf looks like a brute force guy but in practice tends largely toward manipulating and long cons and cunning#the appearance of dumb muscle but is actually refined and clever and skilled while also still being built like a brick wall#vaati looks like a classic scheming squishy wizard guy but actually is just cheating and does almost all his nonsense very directly#and his plans tend to be either Do X / ??? / Profit stuff or barely exist at all#to the point where og four swords is gated primarily by your ability to convince great fairies to help you rather than vaati stopping you#ganondorf is a guy given power who wants a magic wish granting artefact#vaati is a guy given a magic wish-granting artefact who decides he wants more power now actually#vaati has had a significant minion approximately once (shadow link) and that was in shared custody with ganon
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Dorian (DA:I) wizard on a redemption path vs Wyll (Baldur's Gate 3), son of a Duke, Blade of Frontiers, smut-novels reader!
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