#i also have a thing i wanna post for it but it’ll make more sense after the fic has actually dropped

[flownwrong]

chaotic ckr c6d squee propaganda (?) post

This, started half a year ago for @ds30below, was initially a general c6d short reviews post but kinda skewed majorly towards CKR's repertoire and wasn't too review-y. So I gave up on making sense and on including the non-CKR works. I don't know who the audience for this is, because I never give basic details for people who don't know about this stuff but say too much for those who do. I giffed what I could and tried to avoid what I know a lot about but haven't actually seen. Here goes.

Frank's Cock (1993)

Not much to say. It's only 8 minutes, it's beautiful and you should see it if you haven't. I won't spoil the subject, but you can likely guess. Watch it, cry a little. Then go watch some more of Mike Hoolboom's stuff, the vimeo link above is from his channel.

Two X-Files episodes (1994 – 1995)

Well, I haven't actually seen X-files since I was about fifteen and watched the like two seasons, and I remember none of it. I rewatched the two early episodes CKR appears in and they were fun. I did not watch the, the movie or whatever where he's doing the evil gay thing. But really, this one is on the list so I can show you this self-indulgent gif of him being Very Long:

Double Happiness (1994)

You shouldn't watch this one for CKR. I mean, you absolutely should see him here, looking like he's barely out of his teens and playing up the insecure act and having devastating chemistry with devastatingly beautiful Sandra Oh, but this is not why it's great. And it's really, really great. It's touching and funny and sincere. If you wanna have some feels about complicated family relationships and identity and growing up (at any point in life), you'll find them here.

Curtis's Charm (1995)

Don't regret watching it, can't recommend. Not gonna lie, I was emotionally affected. But I usually am by things as in-your-face bleak as this. Mostly, it's trying very hard to be smarter than it is, I think.

However: CKR's One Wild Curl is everything to me (see above, on the right. It was, like, actually curly. I was rendered speechless). And like two seconds of Hugh Dillon made me do a double-take, lol. Incredibly weird knowing this was shot like half a year before HCL began shooting. Feels like it must've been a decade earlier.

Hard Core Logo (1996)

I could make three separate posts about this one, so of course I have no idea what to say.

This one, you should watch for CKR, actually, he's something, but so is every single other aspect of this film. I wouldn't change a thing about it. It hits you like a 16 wheeler. Perfectly cast, unimaginably beautiful, hysterical and melancholy and disgusting and compelling.

Related recs:

A wonderfully fun article/retrospective/interview for its 20th anniversary a while back.

You should also absolutely read Hard Core Roadshow if you enjoyed the film. It's a book documenting the whole thing from conception to release. It touched me for its own sake, not just a backstage glance, full of love for the craft and the people and carrying this tangible bittersweetness about the heightened and fleeting nature of this kind of work.

(here, I feel compelled to include a quote from another c6d-related interview on Slings & Arrows, which I read after the book and went like man, it's really a universal experience isn't it.

Coyne: <...> But I also think, and this is my experience, what we were all experiencing, because we were all talking about our lives, our life in the arts — there’s something very melancholy about doing something you love, because it will never be good enough, it will always break your heart.

McKinney: Or it will be fleeting.

Coyne: It’ll be fleeting. You come together with people you feel passionately connected to and two weeks later they’re tearing down the sets.)

Quotes from the article and the book respectively include:

McDonald: So there was a kind of mutual dependency society with Hugh telling Callum, “Don’t worry, man, I got your back, I’ll tell you how high or low to wear your guitar, I’ll tell you how you should dress, I’ll tell you what you should drink…” and Callum was like, “I’ll tell you what hitting your mark is, I’ll tell you why they pull out fucking tape measures, I’ll tell you why you have to do it again, I’ll tell you about not overlapping dialogue..” and you know they clung to each other, like the other one was gonna fucking save them.

And:

A final gathering at the back of the tour bus with Bruce, Callum, Hugh, Bernie. We listen to the tape of HCL songs, all the way through, one last time. And we belt the words out. Bernie sings loudest, performing for Salerno's camera. Hugh and Callum sit back, looks of sadness. I get the sense that if they could do it, they'd chuck their lives and be Joe Dick and Billy Tallent forever. Callum leans to Bruce and says exactly what everyone else is thinking: "I don't want it to end."

There's much more to both texts than *gestures* the whatever those two had, but it certainly doesn't hurt.

And Xeriscape is the best HCL fic I've read. Granted, I read very few because it's not a source that creates in me a craving for fic. But this one perfectly matches the film's fucked up beauty with its language while also adding a quieter, more fraught layer of humanity that we only get glimpses of in canon and that perfectly fits John. 10/10, would recommend.

Anyway. Watch it. Read it. If you haven't. Otherwise, come scream with meeee! And go reblog my gifs or something. Idk.

Letters From Home (1996)

Mike Hoolboom strikes again, with another short. This goes into the "don't watch it for CKR, watch it because it's great" box. Yes, you will cry.

For Those Who Hunt The Wounded Down (1996)

Another bleak one! It sucked to watch, I mean, on purpose. There were a couple of very effective scenes. I really enjoyed the opening. They say the book is decent too, I haven't checked that out.

Actually, let's just switch back from coherent thought to undignified staring at his mouth with this one. What the fuck is that cigarette thing. I couldn't help myself.

Last Night (1998)

These gifs are not representative of the whole movie. There is more happening than CKR kissing or hugging people. He's also doing more than just kissing and hugging. It's all very... impressive.

Guess who's also here again? Sandra Oh! And say hi to Don McKellar, who is an absolute champion for writing/directing/starring. You'll be seeing more of him.

Another one for the "watch it for its own sake" box. Seriously, that late 90s indie stuff is banger after banger. It's so beautiful! Look at those colours! Look at those shots! It's very uneasy and charming and melanchioly and itself in the best way.

Twitch City (1998 – 2000)

Don McKellar is back to murder you with discomfort! Bruce McDonald lends a hand. Molly Parker is also here. And Daniel McIvor, who'd go on to direct, for example, Wilby Wonderful. It's a party. If you watched some stuff from above (or below) on this list, most faces and names will be familiar to you, tbh (another Hugh Dillon double-take happens).

If you liked Spaced, you'll love this. You might also love it because it commits to its weirdness with an admirable resolve and is genuinely hilarious. (Honestly, CKR's outfits alone warrant a watch.) The idiosyncrasy is definitely Don McKellar's doing 200%. It couldn't be more different from Last Night, but if you've seen one, you'll recognise the other.

Battlestar Galactica (2003 – 2009)

I don't think a person should be allowed to look this pretty in the sweaty-and-dying makeup in that light (this sentence probably looks very weird to those not under the CKR magic spell).

I don't know what to say about BSG because I really, really enjoyed early it initially, but by the middle of S2 it got... well, whatever that was. If you know you know, if you don't, still give it a go. You might get invested enough to suffer through it all, as I have been, slowly.

The unfortunate thing is that CKR got to be there mostly in the "what the fuck" years and not the "wow that's so cool" years. That, as you might be aware, is a pattern with him. But! When he was here, he was so genuinely, wonderfully creepy not in the typecast-baddy way, but in this slow, half-absent way, which really worked. You can also see him tortured a little, as a treat!! <3

Also, a wild John Pyper-Ferguson appears! If you're looking at him thinking you know him from somewhere but not immediately remembering, you'll figure it out, I believe in you. I was very happy to see him.

Wilby Wonderful (2004)

Another win for the put CKR in more good shit team!!! Guess who's here again? Sandra Oh! Also, Paul Gross. Don't watch it for him either though haha.

Another one for whoever wants to look at pushing against the weight of others' (or your own) expectations and growing into who you are or reconsidering who you are or finding meaningful connections with others even when you're kind of a mess and they are too.

Not nearly the first time CKR's gotten to play a queer character, but man, this one really is the heart of the in-universe community, and, through that, of the film. A rare chance to see him so far out of the prickly persona! He's just so solid and calm and there for others in this one and, and soft, ough. It's awesome.

By the way, if any of you have the commentary track or know someone who has, please drop me a line here or on discord (emotionalrisotto), I really wanna hear that.

Supernatural (2005)

I love Supernatural a lot. It was a formative experiences (albeit a very late one) and I owe a lot of my favourite stuff about fandom-ing to the buddies I met through it. I can't believe I'm telling you this (because who hasn't seen it, not because I'm reccing it), but you should really try it if you haven't. It's pretty rad.

I had no idea who this guy was when I saw that episode (the second ever one!), though. I simply cannot fathom what @nigeltde-fic felt when she first saw it. I think I personally got very lucky she didn't combust on the spot. It would've been unfortunate.

On a sillier note, CKR's character has weird tension with both Sam and Dean in this episode, which is par for the course. I personally think they should've... no, I shan't say it. You can probably imagine.

Californication (2008 – 2013)

I haven't actually seen it, lol (and I suspect I won't enjoy it, but I'm very curious and also CKR looks really really good).

The real reason for this one on the list is to share a fic rec. Really, it's a due South F/K fic featuring Lew Ashby. It's ridiculously hot and very satisfying in its romantic resolution, too (but then, I'm kind of big on selfcest. And consensual voyeurism. And pretend relationships when done like this. And sublimated yearning. Erm.)

Shattered (2010 – 2011)

I wish this never happened. I badly, badly wish this never happened. I can't turn back time, but I can warn those luckier than me: do not go there. Yes, even for this dude. You'll sleep better not knowing just what it is he was the EP on. And the only important part — the mascara — can be seen above (yes, the show does look that bad, it's not just the gifs).

Just kidding — I watched it, didn't I? You'll have fun hating it! Just prepare for industrial grade cringe, lower your expectations (No, lower. No, still lower than that. And just a bit more.) and you'll have a great time!

Star trek: Discovery (2024)

Or, as I call it, Star Trek: The Mediocre Show. Discovery S5 was... what it was, but it was a wonderful viewing experience — mostly thanks to the gang (@kittkatk and @feroxargentea especially!)

What a joy it is, to follow a show week by week, yelling and laughing and discussing the whole time. And giffing, too. I was very happy to contribute to the Disco fandom from my own little obsessive corner, and I was glad to see people adoring Rayner, haha.

He's a pretty neat character — very much a stereotype, yes, but with CKR's usual twist of odd vulnerability and weirdness. Also, I loved the ears. I miss the ears. The ears were great.

I even wrote a fic! Although it's not within my usual range to write for canons and universes I don't know well — and back then, I'd only seen S5 of Disco. It was a lot of suffering, and a lot of fun.

Closing thoughts

I'd really love the dude to get a better agent. And possibly better taste, but I realise that's a tougher ask. Seriously, it's been too long since he was in something majorly cool. I'm grateful to him, at least, for not making terrible music on the side. And I still have a lot of his back catalogue to get through, some of it even good, so there will be more insanity. Until then!

[turtleblogatlast]

Shockingly underrated thing about Leo is that he’s legitimately charming when he wants to be?

He’s the Faceman! He’s persuasive! That’s not just some random title he gave himself with no backing to it. People will listen to him. Even if they think he’s being annoying or if they’re upset at him, people listen to him anyway! There’s a reason his bros push him out front to talk to people, and when this happens, that talking nearly always works.

Moreover, Leo knows people. He looks at them and takes into account how they act and what they’re like as he makes his way through the conversations. It’s easy to forget this aspect of Leo’s character because he only brings it out when he really needs (read: wants) to, but it really is a notable part of him that always love to see.

And I say charm in particular because he has a knack for not only getting people to pay attention, but for getting people to stay and listen to what he has to say.

[gregmarriage]

i’m planning on posting my new fic asap, bc i literally cannot wait any longer, i must release her into the world!!!

[anthropologyruinseverything]

“Got You”

Jey Uso x IndigenousFMC

8 chapters- 22k words

🚨It’s so smutty I’m so sorry - no one under 18 plz!

🚨 second alarm, there is a triggering scene but it is an attempted assault that is interrupted - there is a note around it so it is easy to skip!

Just collecting all 4 parts into one loooong post. It’s unedited so I apologize for mistakes and timelines messiness

Summary: Rori Begay is Jey Uso’s nanny. Inappropriate feelings begin to brew between them over lockdown and they try to avoid it. Unfortunately the violence in Rori’s home life boils over and so do their feelings for each other when he comes to her rescue.

Chapter 1:

Aurora POV

“My Rori’s here!” Jason lunged from his father’s arms into mine as soon as I made it through the door of the unassuming but well kept blue house.

“Hey little dude!” I gladly received the three year old, doing my best to avoid touching Josh too much in doing so. Every time we so much as brushed hands it caused a rolling wave of butterflies and warmth. Not unpleasant but also not an appropriate thing to feel for someone who was technically my boss. And the last thing I needed in my life right now was to lose my job, especially over a stupid crush.

Due to the pandemic ramping up Josh was home from his job that normally demanded a lot of travel. Even though he wasn’t traveling he still had commitments and a job that required several hours of training daily in the gym on top of meetings and zoom calls. He’d explained the plan his company had until they could safely begin touring again, a plan that would see them staying here in Florida for several months to a year.

Long enough for me to save up enough to get out of my own place, even if my mother was demanding a high rent. I was glad I’d fibbed about just how much Josh was paying me weekly or she would have demanded even more.

“Swim! Swim! Wanna go swimming!” I juggled the excited toddler in my arms trying not to drop my day bag.

Coming to the rescue Josh grabbed the green backpack and smiled at me in a way that turned my insides to mush. “We gotta eat first little man.”

“Are you free today?” I hoped I didn’t sound as excited as I felt. At first I’d found it odd he still wanted me there even when he wasn’t going to be busy for the day but quickly started to look forward to spending time with both of them.

“Yeah, my meetings were cancelled. I was thinking I’d join y’all for swimming lessons and whatever else you got planned. If that’s cool with you.”

As if I was going to say no.

I looked at Jason with a grin. “Whaddya think? Want Daddy to hang out with us today?”

“Hang out with daddy AND Rori! Swim!”

“What about you?” It was hard not to read too much into his expression or the way his voice seemed to drop a little. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

Oh, of course. He’s trying to be considerate of my feelings as a person and I’m drooling at the way his voice changes when he is speaking to another adult. I swallowed my embarrassment and put on a big grin. “Not at all, it’ll be great to hangout! Now how about some breakfast?”

There wasn’t much Jason loved more than swimming but one thing was for certain.

“PANCAKES!”

—-

Jey POV

It did things to me when she called me “Daddy”, even if it was in this context.

Maybe I could get Joe or Braun to hit me in the head next time we’re wrestling.

Really, really hard.

Well, maybe not Braun, I didn’t want to die after all.

I needed some sense knocked back into me around this girl though. I can’t keep my eyes off her and thought about her way too often. She’s only eighteen and I should not be feeling this way about my sons *nanny.* Watching her as she moved around the kitchen, letting little man help her with making breakfast it brought an excited sense of peace.

My eyes dutifully followed the sway of her curvy bottom as she sidestepped small feet with a laugh. I wanted to wind my hands into that waist length brunette hair while I devoured her pouty lips.

Wanted to see her pretty green eyes tear up with those lips wrapped around my dick.

I wanted a lot of things from Miss Aurora Begay.

Isolating was hard, I hadn’t had a chance to go out or hookup with a chick since New Year’s Eve. Maybe that was my problem. She was close, pretty and had a great laugh.

But the truth was I hadn’t wanted someone so bad in a long time. Jason’s mom had burned me pretty hard when she decided she didn’t want to be invested in his life, or mine.

You travel too much she’d said. Come to find out “you travel too much” really meant I’d rather be fucking other dudes in another country.

More power to her. We’d started out casual but when she fell pregnant I’d stepped up and even offered to marry her and let myself get invested. Not the best way to start but I was willing to give it a shot for him.

“How many?”

“Huh?”

Rori pulled me out of my thoughts with a light tough to my shoulder and a giggle. She smiled down at me. “I asked you how many pancakes would you like? I’m using the protein mix.”

Of course she’d ferreted out the healthiest pancakes for someone with my training regime. She was always doing thoughtful shit like that and I loved it. Loved that she would modify things for me, make me a plate or keep one warm for me in the oven when something ran longer than planned.

It was hard not to let all that spill.

She raised her eyebrows. “Josh?”

I’m so fucked.

“Uh, make it four.”

Thirty minutes later and I’m waiting for them the come downstairs. Jason appeared at the top of the steps first in his matching swimming trunks and shirt all decked out with tiger sharks. His favorite animal at the moment. He proudly held up his shark goggles. “Look daddy, I’m a shark!”

In a weird way I was grateful for the lockdown. I’d never been able to spend so much time with him and it made me happier than I’d ever been. “I see little man! Where’s Rori?”

“Coming, sorry!”

Chapter 2 -

Aurora POV

Josh stood at the bottom of the steps in nothing but black swimming trunks. My mouth went dry and heart pounded as I tried not to stare at him while Jason and I made our way downstairs hand in hand. It was tough though, his dark bronze skin and spiraling tattoos were mesmerizing.

He’d given me a cursory glance before looking away and even though I’m not terribly vain, it stung my pride a little. I should be ashamed that I picked the cheap and simple but pretty blue mesh halter and boy short set because I thought be would like it. As if he’d ever look at me the same way I do him.

Tucking the sadness away I padded out to the pool with Jason who was already fighting with his arm floats before he’d made it to the water. “Here let me help-“

The words were cut off by splash of water, my own shriek of surprise and Jason’s shriek of laughter. Josh had blown by us to canon ball into the water before surfacing with a challenging smirk.

It would be hard to ignore the heat pooling between my legs.

Well, until little man threw his arms up and demanded to be thrown in for a big splash that is. Happy to oblige and to cool off I scooped him up and we jumped in. What I’d planned as a swimming lesson turned into lots of laughing and splashing with Jason getting brave enough to paddle back and forth between us a few times.

After a while he was tired and become more preoccupied with making his pool toy shark eat his other action figures. Josh drifted over to where I stood in the shallow water while Jason played nearby on the step. “Hey.”

“Hey?”

“What happened here?” Gently he brought his fingers to a healing bruise on my arm. Anxiety twisted my stomach painfully. I had to come up with something, my mother had trained me to lie about this sort of thing.

“Oh, uh, I just, I just dropped something when I was reaching for a can on a shelf at home. Clumsy, just brought my arm up so it wouldn’t like hit me on the face or anything. Nothing, no worries.” I realized I was rambling when his brow furrowed and he narrowed his eyes.

Fuck. He didn’t need to know mom’s latest boyfriend was a real dick, even for her.

“A can huh?”

The truth was I hadn’t moved fast enough to get out of his way a couple days ago and so he grabbed me by the arm, hard enough to leave those prints, shook me and slung me across the room. Not the first time one of the men she’d brought home had done something similar but no one had ever really paid attention and my mom had threatened me with much worse if I ever told.

“Yeah, just a stupid accident.” I tried to smile reassuringly but could tell it wasn’t working. Josh opened his mouth but fortunately for me, little man chose then to pounce, throwing himself at us with abandon only a happy toddler could achieve.

“Make splashes Rori!”

“You sure did! How about we get dried off and go watch a movie?” I was grateful for the distraction. Hopefully he would let it go.

—-

Jey POV

Late that night I laid in bed scrolling through photos from the last few weeks, looking for clues and wracking my brain for an explanation. Aurora had never lied to me before and I should have her drug tested if she thought I bought that story about the can. I know what a bruise from someone gripping you too tightly looks like. Why was she being so evasive about it?

*Does she have a boyfriend? Some little shit who thinks he’s tough?*

An intense anger erupted in my chest at the thought of anyone putting their hands on her. In any way. Thinking about her kissing someone else, *fucking* someone else, made me physically sick.

I resolved to get the the bottom of it. Why weren’t her parents doing anything about it? Did they notice?

Wait. Does she live with them?

It dawned on me that I know next to nothing about her or her living situation. Most of our conversations revolve around Jason or the chores or how my day had been or what I wanted for dinner. I knew she was a college student and we’d chatted about a few times about things like music or movies or my job but never had she mentioned her family or friends or relationships at all, except one girl named Jamie. And all I knew about her was that they’d seen a movie together recently.

I’d snapped a few pictures today. Only one of just her but that was the one I settled on looking at. She stood mid thigh in the pool, her golden skin wet and the red of her messy bun stood out in the sunlight. The swimsuit wasn’t too revealing but I’d almost embarrassed myself. Seeing her coming down the steps it that simple but sexy outfit had me at half mast in no time, I’d had no choice but to hustle my ass into the cold pool or risk her noticing.

Looking at the picture now I had the same problem, my cock twitching to life at the thought of tasting her everywhere. Closing my eyes I dropped my phone and let myself pull my boxers down. Picturing her sweet smile I imagined she was there with me, straddling my waist, her walls clenched tightly around me.

Slowly I started stroking myself, imaginary Aurora’s movements were careful and shy and gentle, just like everything else about her. Her small hands braced against my chest, fingers digging in as her cheeks flushed with pleasure and she panted in need.

*”Daddy, please.”*

Increasing my pace I imagined taking control, clutching her hips and bracing myself with my ankles as I thrust up at a much more aggressive pace. My knees drew up and I clutched the sheet with my free hand as her cries filled my ears.

*”Harder Daddy, yes yes! I’m gonna cum!”*

I didn’t fight the groan that rose in my throat as I sped up even more. It was my fantasy and we would finish together.

“Fuck Rori, baby…” I bit my lip when I came, spilling hot ropes of cum onto my stomach as my hips bucked and twitched. For a few seconds I lay there panting.

I’d lost count of how many times I’d gotten off this exact same way now. I knew I should stop but it was becoming something of an obsession. It wouldn’t be the first time in my life I’d developed a fixation, just not quite so focused in on a particular female before.

I hoped it would pass when the lockdowns lifted and I could go out again but deep inside I knew that wouldn’t be the case.

No, something about those big hazel eyes and loving personality had dug itself deep inside me. I swiped at the mess I’d made with my shirt before throwing it in the hamper in the corner of the room. A twisted part of me hoped she’d notice when she did laundry and wonder if I was thinking about her but the realistic part of me would kick in and handle the mess in the morning.

Settling in to the covers I hoped she was comfortable and safe, wherever she was.

Chapter 3

Aurora POV -

I didn’t mind biking the thirty minutes from the trailer park where I lived to the nice suburb. Being alone with my music and a direction was meditative. This morning however it wasn’t as nice as usual. Unable to stand for leverage I was moving slower than usual, my injured right side making the whole process more difficult.

Janine’s latest catch, ‘Paul’, was becoming increasingly violent. I did my best to stay out of his way but the two bedroom single wide trailer was tiny, cramped and rundown. Most of my time at home was spent locked up in my bedroom, venturing out only to fix everyone dinner or use the restroom.

Not long now and I would be able to afford a deposit for a room somewhere. I let daydreams of the day I left that place forever fuel me through the pain in my ribs and ankle. I’d gotten distracted, inadvertently letting the dinner pot boil over. Paul took offense and sent me to the floor with a nasty shove before a swift kick to the ribs. I’d scrambled to my feet and limped to my room, slamming the door shut and locking it behind me. A fresh wave of anxiety shuddered through me.

I planned to ask Josh today if he would show me a few things I could do to be stronger and defend myself better. It might rouse his suspicions but I was just going to tell him a half truth, I wanted to be safe when I returned to campus someday. That was a safe and believable excuse in my mind.

Taking a deep breath I tried to force myself to walk normally in spite of the sharp pain that came with each step. Maybe I was naive to think I could disguise my injuries but I was going to try.

Answering the door rather quickly he welcomed me in and our day progressed as usual. Fortunately for me Josh had to tend to those cancelled meetings and would be busy until lunch time. I thought I had it under control with some Tylenol but was proven wrong.

Jason wanted a specific shark cup and plate set that was stored on a high shelf. Normally pulling out the little step stool and grabbing those things wouldn’t have been an issue.

Normally.

When I tried to put weight on that right ankle it gave and I yelped, falling backwards fully expecting to land hard on the kitchen tile.

Instead a strong pair of arms encircled my middle and I made contact with a hard, warm chest instead of cold, unforgiving floor. The pressure on my ribs hurt and I gasped, clutching at Josh’s forearms.

“Rori!” Jason’s alarmed voice hit my ears and I immediately tried to right myself and go to him but struggling against the hold hurt too much.

“It’s okay kiddo, I got her. Where are you hurt? Other than your foot?”

“Ribs.” It hurt to take in a breath to speak.

Nodding he maneuvered one arm under my knees and one under my shoulders, easily hefting me up into his arms. “I got you.”

I wanted to curl into a ball and never look at him again, this was too embarrassing. Settling me in a chair at the kitchen table he took a very clinical approach to examining my ankle and ribs. If I hadn’t been so upset the feeling of his fingers dancing on my rib cage would have made me dizzy. He let me catch my breath before asking the dreaded question.

“What happened Rori?” Josh sounded calm and collected as he went to retrieve an ice pack. Passing it to me he set about fixing lunch while waiting patiently for an answer.

“I tripped walking up my steps last night and fell. Nothing major, just some bruises.”

“You’re lucky they’re not broken.” My stomach dropped. It sounded like he was scolding me.

“Rori okay?”

“Yeah little man, I’m all good! Just an accident, no big deal!” I raised my hands in the air and smiled at Jason who looked relieved before going back to playing with his toys.

Josh set lunch on the table, ravioli, before collecting the little boy and depositing him in his booster seat next to me. Sitting down on my other side all of his moments were stiff. “You wouldn’t lie to me would you?”

My palms went sweaty and my heart pounded. I hoped my panic didn’t show on my face. Not trusting my voice I shook my head no and stuffed a piece of pasta in my mouth, making a pleased sound. I swallowed the food and the emotion all in one go. “No. I’m so sorry. It shouldn’t stop me from what I need to do again.”

“It’s fine. You rode your bike here yeah?”

I nodded and shoveled another bite in my mouth to avoid talking.

“Me and Jason are gonna drive you home this afternoon, once my meetings are done.”

A fresh wave of panic rolled through me. “No-no, please you don’t have to do that.”

“You’re in no shape to be riding your bike anywhere.” His voice was so cold. It made me want to cry.

“I don’t want to be a pain. I can ride the bus-“

Jason and I both jumped when Josh slapped the table. He seemed to catch himself before slamming it with full force but still made a loud noise. Quickly he looked at his son with a grin to ease any fear the little boy had.

But when he turned to me I could see it didn’t reach his eyes. His expression flattened out and it was like he was reigning himself back in.

I squeezed my thighs together as a confusing rush of emotions hit me. Fear of the consequences since I’d angered him and a strange flash of arousal that felt out of place but there it was all the same.

“Don’t argue with me.”

“Yes sir.”

—

Jey POV

Sitting through these afternoon meetings around the new Bloodline merchandise was torture. I’d never been a fan of this side of the job anyway and whatever was going on with Aurora was eating at me. Had I been a little bit of a bully and let my anger win for a minute? Absolutely but it will get me what I want which is some more information.

I was pretty sure someone was hurting her at home or she had a boyfriend. Thinking through my options I texted my twin who was also on the zoom call looking like he’d rather eat a shoe than look at yet another piece of concept art.

‘**Can yall take little man this weekend?**

I watched him respond on the call.

**’Yeah, you got something to do?’**

**Yeah**

It wasn’t often that I hid things from Jon but he didn’t need to know I was planning on essentially stalking my barely legal nanny for a couple of days. I sure as hell didn’t want to see Trinity’s face if she found out. But I had to know what was going on and figure out how to help her.

As of right now my plan was little more than to storm in, beat the ever living shit out of whoever I needed to, sweep her up and move her into my home and bed permanently. Far from foolproof but it was a work progress.

Finally the meeting came to a close. Heading downstairs I took a few deep breaths to make sure I had my temper fully back under control. It had been hard not to shake her by the shoulders and demand she tell me the truth so I’d settled on slapping the table for emphasis. I’d instantly felt like a jerk when both Jason and Aurora jumped in fear but we’d recovered.

The sounds of their laughter came from the kitchen, she was letting Jason ‘help’ her make pizza for dinner. Looked more to me like she was chasing the veggies he threw every which direction except at the dough in front of him but I enjoyed watching them together all the same. She genuinely seemed to enjoy spending time with him and he loved her already, taking to calling her “my Rori”. Clearing my throat to announce my presence I felt a stab of regret when anxiety fell over her face and she quieted instantly. Jason on the other hand clambered down from the step stool and rushed over, arms outstretched.

“Daddy! Look, making pizzas!” He waved excitedly towards where Rori leaned against the counter next to the bowls of ingredients. I tried to smile reassuringly at her but she just ducked her head, hiding her face with her hair.

“Nice, want some extra help Rori?” Jason was already trying to get down and back into the mix so I let him. It wasn’t the nicest thing, forcing her to talk to me, but she’ll learn to speak up for herself in time.

She would have to as my woman. I don’t know exactly when I decided that was going to happen but here we are.

Finally glancing up at me she bit her lip nervously. “Yes sir.”

An image of her doing that while on her knees in front of me flashed through my mind. I liked that a little too much, liked this oddly submissive behavior. It told me a lot to, her response to my anger. Fawning is what they call it, if I recalled the therapist correctly.

I stepped into her space deliberately, causing her to shy away from my hand. Persisting I gently caught her chin with my thumb and forefinger making her eyes go wide. Tempting as it was to push further and run my thumb over her abused lip I settled for making her look at me.

“M’sorry I scared you earlier.”

She blinked, her eyebrows drawing together in confusion. “You’re what?”

I snorted. “Girl I’m tryin to apologize to you. Pay attention.”

To her credit she recovered quickly. “I’m sorry, I am. I - it’s okay. Let’s get these pizzas in the oven.”

She pulled away but before I saw her pulse pounding in her neck and her eyes dilate. It was obvious she was into what I was doing. Perfect.

A little over an hour later found us loading up her bike into the back of my truck and heading down the highway. It never ceased to amaze me what being on either side of the highway could look like. Some trailer parks were nice with well kept homes, flowers and friendly neighbors. Some were like ‘Martin’s Cove’ complete with meth trailers, cars on blocks and folks toting guns in the waist bands of their jeans. I bristled at the thought of leaving her here but dutifully got out to retrieve her bike once we’d pulled up to #37.

An ugly white man stood on the porch with a stupid look on his face. I hated him. Rori’s face showed a flicker of fear when her eyes landed on him and I wanted to kill him. I had a feeling I knew who was leaving the bruises. I held onto her bike when she went to take it from me.

“Uh, Josh? I got it. Thank you so much again.” I could feel my blood pounding in my ears. The man hadn’t spoken but hadn’t looked away from Aurora either.

“Promise to call if you ever need help.” She tilted her head but must have remembered earlier today.

“Okay, I promise.”

I nodded. “I’ll pull up at eight.”

It made me physically sick to let her walk away but I did it. Once they’d both gone inside I pulled away. Jason fell asleep before we made it home so I got him tucked into bed and set about putting a bag together for his stay at his aunt and uncles this weekend.

I was too worried to sleep well, knowing full well she could be in trouble. Instead I found myself praying whatever gods or ancestors might be listening. The morning couldn’t come soon enough.

Chapter 4

Aurora POV

I stood on the embarrassingly cluttered porch the following morning at 7:30 A.M. Janine and Paul were still in bed. Much to my surprise they hadn’t questioned me in depth, instead disappearing into her room after I made their dinner. I checked the calendar, it was the third.

Ah, her disability check had come in. They’d be flush with drugs for a couple days.

Great, that usually meant they’d leave me alone. And they had. Looking back at the front door yet again, it felt as if it were going to open and swallow me. That’s how it felt to walk into this house, like I was being eaten by a beast snd may never claw my way out.

Turning back I settled on the steps, flipping through my music. “Dirty Thoughts” started playing and I felt a flush start up my neck remembering what I’d done listening to this song last night. After securing my door that lacked a proper lock I’d lain in bed playing my interactions with Josh over in my head. Mostly the feeling of his thick arms and hard chest and calloused hands.

Only a few times, mostly due to lack of privacy, did I indulge the growing heat between my legs. Thinking about Josh had made the throbbing ache there unbearable and when I slid my fingers below the elastic waistband of my underwear I found myself soaked. While still very much a virgin I’d read enough romance novels to know what my body wanted from him. My heart and mind did too but they were a lot harder to make happy.

Carefully I’d started to feel myself, fingers dipping into my wet slit to awkwardly circle my clit while my other hand cupped a breast, lightly playing over a sensitive nipple. My inexperience was a pain though and after a few moments of awkward strokes I was worse off than before I started. Annoyed at myself for struggling I switched tactics to what I knew would provide at least a little relief.

Grabbing my ancient pillow I shoved it between my legs, balled up and pressed tightly to the small bud I was struggling to figure out. Closing my eyes I’d imagined sitting on his lap, straddling one of his big thighs while his hands cupped my bottom and his voice, deep and husky with want, encouraged me to move.

*”C’mon girl, that’s it. Move for Daddy.”*

It shamed me to think of him that way but I was so lost to the feeling it didn’t stick. Doing as imaginary Josh instructed I ground against the pillow, desperately seeking the short but intense flashes of pleasure it brought. If I did it long and hard enough I’d get a sharp spike that would somewhat ease the tension filling my body. It was nothing like “rolling waves” I read about but it did the trick and wore me out enough to sleep.

The sound of his truck rumbling up pulled me out of my memory and I stood, checking the time. 7:40 A.M., he was early. I needed to get myself under control, this crush was a distraction I didn’t need. What I needed was to get the hell out of this place before things escalated further and finish my degree.

And yeah I wanted kids and a husband and all that lovely stuff but I wasn’t naive enough to believe that Josh was the guy. He smiled at me, opening the passenger door and ushering me in. My heart did a cartwheel in my chest.

He had his choice of anyone. It would never be me and I was alright with that.

It didn’t stop me from wishing it were though.

“My Rori!” Jason’s voice was music to my ears. It was just Josh I’d fallen hard for after all. The toddler waving happily from his car seat in the back lit up my world and motivated me to get out of bed some mornings when I was depressed.

“Hey little man!” I smiled at him before turning to Josh as he pulled out of our driveway. This felt so normal and nice it was almost enough to make me forget where we were driving away from.

“Mornin. How was your night?” I noticed the dark circles under his eyes.

I blushed in spite of myself. “It was good. How about you?”

Josh raised an eyebrow but didn’t comment on the red in my cheeks. “S’fine.”

I mulled over my idea about asking for his help while chattering along with Jason. I’d couched the idea when he was so stern yesterday but he didn’t seem angry any longer and had apologized after all. By the time we pulled into the driveway I’d made up my mind. I spoke before he could open the door.

“Hey, Josh?”

“Hmm?” He tilted his head my way.

“Could-is it okay to ask- because if not I understand-“

“It’s fine just ask your question baby.”

My brain shorted out for a split second. He’s tired, don’t overthink it.

“Can you show me how to like, get stronger? And maybe how to, ya know, throw a punch? For when I go back to campus.” I bit my lip nervously, his expression was so neutral it was impossible to know what he was thinking.

Josh reached over to give my knee a squeeze and my warmth flooded through me. It was so quick I wondered if I’d imagined it but the genuinely warm half smile said otherwise.

“Hell yeah I’ll show you some stuff.”

My heart pounded as I followed the boys inside. I have to get a grip, he’s just being nice. A single quick squeeze doesn’t mean he’s into me.

I noticed the bag of Jason’s things on the couch and my heart dropped. If he was going somewhere else I may not have work for a while.

“Is little man going somewhere?”

“Yeah, my brother’s coming by to get him later, just for the weekend. I’m gonna get some sleep but we can workout some this afternoon, if you’re up for starting now. Just have to work around what’s hurtin.”

My heart soared. “Great, thank you so much.”

——

Jey POV

It was easy to sleep knowing she was safe downstairs with Jason and I made up for what I lost the night before. In my dreams Rori was beneath me, writhing in

pleasure while her fingernails dug into my shoulders and her lips whispered my name over and over like a prayer. Her voice got louder the closer she came to orgasm and I ground into her harder and harder.

“Josh…Josh…Hey Josh?”

Her voice went from thick with pleasure to confusingly loud. Slowly I became aware of someone shaking my shoulder.

“Huh?”

There was a soft giggle from next to me as the bed dipped a little. I realized the object of my dreams was sitting next to me nudging my shoulder. At the same time I realized I had a raging hard on.

“Jon’s here, figured you’d want to say bye to Jason before they took off.”

Shit was it after five already?

I had to get rid of her so I could get this under control. “Yeah. Be right there.”

When I didn’t move immediately she jumped up and ran like she’d been scalded. Maybe she realized she may have crossed a line coming in here, even if it was to get me up for something important.

I couldn’t wait to cross a hell of a lot more lines with her in this room.

But right this minute I needed to get myself presentable, something easy enough to achieve, at least temporarily, with a few deep breaths and splashing some ice cold water on my face.

Loading Jason into the car didn’t take long, he always loved staying with his cousins. Hugging him one last time I stepped back. My brother looked at me from the drivers seat, clearly wanting an explanation. Clapping his shoulder I smiled. “Thanks, got a leak and it’ll just be a lot easier to have guys out to fix it without him under my feet.”

The suspicion in his face melted away and we said our goodbyes. I’d miss Jason but I was excited about “working out” with Aurora, all alone. Not to mention I’d finally have a good chance to question her some. She stood in the kitchen tying up her hair when I walked back in.

“You ready?”

Aurora swallowed but nodded and I noticed her eyes flicker over me. My cock twitched, it was hot thinking she wanted me too. I still needed to clarify whether or not she had a boyfriend and while I couldn’t be certain it was that weird guy at her house who was hurting her I was pretty confident that was the case.

“Good, c’mon.” Leading her into the gym I flicked the lights on.

About 45 minutes later and she flopped on the floor, panting but smiling. Turns out she could throw a decent punch already. Settling behind her on my knees I let my hands fall on her shoulders and waited to see what she would do. Aurora stiffened but didn’t pull away so I slowly began to knead the muscles.

“You did good.” I don’t know if it was my fingers or my words that did it but she moaned softly, her cheeks blushing.

“Thank you.” Her voice was soft and shy.

Continuing up her neck I was gentle as I worked the tension there, surprised at just how tight she was. I decided to get down to what I wanted to know. “Got a boyfriend Rori?”

She blinked her pretty hazel eyes before huffing out a nervous laugh. “A boyfriend? No.”

Relieved, I let that concern go. “Aight. I didn’t think that guy in the porch yesterday was him but ya know, wanted to make sure.” I dug my fingers in a little harder and she drew in a breath with a gasp. My thumbs worked their way down her shoulder blades and her eyes drifted closed. Her muscles quivered under the threadbare tshirt she wore but my eyes were trained on the wet skin of her jaw and neck. I imagined what it would taste like to run my tongue along them in a long stroke.

“Nah, that’s just my mom’s latest boyfriend.”

“Latest?” I didn’t like the sound of that and based on where they lived I doubted these were high quality men drifting in and out of their lives. Already I hated this woman for putting Aurora in danger.

“Yeah, she’s just…I don’t know. She’s got some issues.” Aurora trailed off and I debated how hard to push. This was more than I’d gotten out of her before but I didn’t want her to shut down if I asked the wrong thing. I kept massaging her neck, working my way a little lower to her collar bone and she didn’t resist.

“How’s that feel?”

“Mmm, good.” Just when I thought she was really going to relax into me her phone buzzed. I hated the way she looked panicked when she opened the message. “Oh no, it’s getting really late, I should go.”

Reluctantly I let her stand and got to my feet as well. “C’mon, I’ll take you home.”

Her nerves seemed to get worse and worse during the car ride. Every instinct in me screamed to make her stay, to not drop her off at that trailer. Something bad was going to happen and I knew it.

This time I reached over her to stop her from opening the door with one hand and grabbed her knee with the other. “Aurora look at me.”

She was startled but did as I asked.

“You don’t have to get out of this truck. But if you do, just promise to call me if you’re in trouble.” For a second I thought she was going to stay or maybe burst into tears. Instead she took a deep breath and smiled at me but it didn’t reach her eyes.

“I promise. Again.”

I squeezed her leg one more time before sitting back and letting her go. Something screamed at me to stop her but I didn’t.

I’d regret that sooner than later.

Chapter 5

Aurora POV -

I knew something was up the minute I walked in the front door, a sixth sense of sorts from years of living with a volatile drug addict. My heart skipped a beat when I realized my mother was in the dingy kitchenette stirring away at something on the stove. She never cooked anymore and anything out of the ordinary was cause for concern.

“Oh you’re home, I wondered if we’d see you tonight.”

Stomach twisting I approached her carefully. I’d only responded to her message five times apologizing for being late. “I’m sorry mama, I had to stay late for work.”

“You’re sure it was just for work? I didn’t see a baby in the car today.” Of course she’d been watching from the windows.

“Yes mama, Mr. Fatu offered me rides and I felt rude saying no.” Her face pinched but she recovered into a smile. I could feel the dread building in my lower spine.

“Go sit down honey, dinner is ready and Paul just pulled up with his friend.” Almost anyone else would have written her words off as a normal statement but from her it was a threat, I just didn’t know for what.

“Yes ma’am.”

Paul came clattering in followed closely by another white man who looked meaner and uglier than him. He smiled when he saw me, licking his chapped lips from behind a patchy beard. I shivered in disgust.

“This here is Danny. Aurora, be nice and say hi.” Awkwardly I waved, in fear of what would happen if I didn’t.

He looked at Paul with his beady, murky blue eyes. “She always quiet?”

Paul nodded. “Whaddya think?”

Danny smirked. “How much did you say?”

My heart plummeted to my feet as I stood. “What’s going on?”

All three other people stopped what they were doing. Danny looked amused and Paul looked at my mother expectantly. She came to pat my shoulder with a fake, cold smile.

“Well since you’ve been whoring yourself to your boss we figured you wouldn’t mind if we set you up with some new clients. And this way we make sure we get our cut, fair and square.” Her voice was so calm, mocking me with how caring and sweet she sounded even though her words were poison.

My jaw fell open and my stomach heaved. I couldn’t believe what just was hearing.

“I’m not sleeping with my boss!”

She’d sunk low before but this was completely unreal. I couldn’t believe she would actually agree to pimp me out.

“So, uh, where we gonna do this?” Danny reminded me of his presence.

I wanted to claw the nasty man’s eyes out and run. To where?

*Josh.*

“We’re not! Mom, tell him this is ridiculous, you can’t be serious!”

Pulling out my phone I got off a single message to Josh before Paul was snatching for it.

“SOS” with an alarm emoji.

^^^Trigger warning for attempted SA scene^^^

“Her bedroom is that way.” I’d never hated her so much as I did in that moment when she pointed down the narrow hall.

“No! Mom! Mom!” I shrieked as each man grabbed an arm and begin pulling me.

Danny snarled when I twisted and landed a nasty blow between my shoulders, sending me to the floor. He looked at Paul who gave me another swift kick to the side. “Didn’t tell me you hadn’t broken her in yet.”

“I’ll let you have the next session for free if you wanna help with that.”

With a shrug the other man grabbed my wrist and pulled hard in spite of my struggling. Throwing me onto my rickety twin bed I scrambled, trying to get to a weapon but he was already laying into me with the leather belt he’d pulled from around his waist. My ancient tshirt gave way easily under his hands, giving him direct access to the flesh of my back and shoulders. Blows rained down, burning so fiercely my eyes stung with tears. I curled into the fetal position, covering my head and trying to escape the worst of it.

He stopped hitting me to wrap the leather strap around my wrists and flipped me onto my abused back. Kicking at him didn’t do much even with my healthy ankle. I was tired and sore from the injuries and work out Josh had put me through earlier. My strength to fight was waining fast but I couldn’t just give up. Danny responded to a kick in the shoulder with a powerful punch to the stomach, making me gag and cough.

My jeans didn’t come off as easily as my tshirt but he managed with a few vicious yanks. I didn’t know how to get out of this. Closing my eyes I tried to picture Josh, Jason, my friends, my school, anything to get away from the gut wrenching reality of what was happening. My mother had sold me to this man and his awfully slimy hands were running up my thighs and over my ribs to squeeze my breasts with so much force it tore a lot sob of pain out of my chest.

End of triggering scene

And then, with a yelp of pained surprise, he was gone. For a few seconds all I could hear was the thundering of my pulse but once my body realized he was no longer bearing down on me my senses began to adjust. Shouts and thuds from the living room went on for a few more moments before a particularly nasty sounding crash and then it all went quiet. Unsure of what was going on I remained where I was, shaking and trying to get a grip on my breathing.

Finally I could hear a voice speaking clearly. A voice I knew.

“Don’t move you fuckin cunt.”

Josh appeared in the doorway of my tiny and now destroyed room looking every inch the enraged hero he was. With what strength I had left I launched myself into his arms and he met me halfway, scooping me up and holding me against his chest tightly while I buried my face in his neck.

He pressed his lips to the top of my head and spoke softly. “Do you need anything at all from here?”

I shook my head, unable to form words. With shaking hands he pulled the belt from around my wrists and threw it. Snatching the thin blanket he wrapped it around my shoulders before standing, holding me up bridal style. Wrapping my arms around his shoulders I leaned into him like I never had another.

I’d needed him and there he was.

He’d *saved* me.

The carnage in the living room was testament to his anger. Both men were laid out in the remains of the broken kitchen table, Danny bleeding from a head wound onto the floor. The door had been kicked in and Josh walked through splinters from the flimsy piece of fake wood he’d demolished like he owned the place. My mother sat wordlessly on the couch, her eyes wide in terror as she watched him stalk across the room and out the door.

I wouldn’t remember being bundled or being carried into the house or being carefully dressed in his clothes.

All the rest I would remember from that night came as Josh tucked me into bed next to him, his arms wound tightly around me as he whispered comforting words. Turning slightly I let my heart take the lead for once in my life.

Pressing my lips to his softly as I touched his face I said the only thing I could think of.

“Thank you.”

Reciprocating my kiss gently he held me tighter still. “S’okay now, Daddy’s got you.”

——

Jey POV

My plan may not have been foolproof but it had worked and Rori would never be going back to that awful place. Each time she woke up crying and screaming for me it wrenched my heart and made me murderous at the same. I hoped I’d done permanent damage and seriously considered going back to make sure the job was done.

While I’d let her go I hadn’t gone far, just pulling off the road about a mile away to mull over my options. Banging on the trailer door within minutes after getting her text her mother had creaked it open and tried to tell me to mind my own business and go away.

So I’d done the logical thing and kicked the damn thing as hard as I could, flimsy wood exploding everywhere on impact. Even as angry as I was I wouldn’t hurt a woman but Rori’s sad excuse for a mother didn’t know that. I’d sent her down to the couch with a relatively soft shove, at least compared to what I did to her man, and fear did the rest.

Paul got a firm right to the jaw before a couple swift kicks to the ribs just to show him how it felt. The other male, whose name I didn’t bother to learn, was dealt a couple body blows and some well aimed shots to the face before I threw him head first through their shitty table. The irony of that was the only part of the whole ordeal that made my mouth twitch to remember.

Just because I only pretended to throw hands on television didn’t mean I couldn’t fuck someone up for real if I decided to.

Aurora stirring in my arms got my attention. At first she burrowed deeper into my side, her cheek pressed into my collarbone. Thankfully it seemed like she was just waking up naturally rather than being scared awake by a nightmare. Ten hours punctuated by several rounds of panic wouldn’t be nearly enough to fully recover but maybe I could get her to eat something or shower before sleep claimed her again. Pressing my lips to her forehead I smiled and tried to be reassuring. “Hey sleepy head.”

She jumped so hard it was like I’d electrocuted her and I immediately felt bad for breaking the spell. Tumbling out of the bed Aurora yelped in pain when she hit the dark wood floor. Not what I had been expecting. Kicking the covers off my own legs I knelt down next to her and touched her leg gently. Her hazel eyes were blown wide and she looked a little dazed.

“Hey, hey you with me baby?”

Her throat moved as she swallowed and it looked uncomfortable. “I- Jesus Christ.” Burying her face in her hands she began to sob. Hard, heaving cries from deep in her chest. Pulling her into my lap I let her cling to me and cry it out. I could only imagine how she must feel.

I wasn’t sure how long we sat there with her fist balled into my shirt and her tears soaking it but my left foot had gone completely numb by the time her sobs quieted into hiccups.

“She sold me.” I hated hearing her normally lyrical accent so hoarse and broken. She’d never cry so hard again, I’d make sure of it.

“I know baby girl.” I was very gentle with where I rubbed her arms and sides, minding as best I could all the places she was bruised.

“Why? I was paying her rent, she could have just asked for more money. I could have got another job. I could have worked nights or-or-“

“Aurora.” She paused and I cupped her chin, gently making her look at me. “There was nothing you coulda done. That’s greed baby, greed and addiction.”

Her eyes welled with fresh tears and she sniffed. “She’s gonna be so mad.”

As realization took hold I could see the panic in her swell. “Oh no. Oh no, oh no, I don’t - I haven’t been able to get a room somewhere yet and she’s not gonna let me come back after that. Not unless…” Her voice dropped off and she shuddered.

I waited another beat to make sure she was done talking. “You don’t need to worry.”

She swiped a hand across her eyes. “What do you mean? I’m - this is so inappropriate Mr. Fatu.”

Barking a laugh I pulled her in and dropped another kiss on her forehead before moving to each of her cheeks and then the tip of her nose. “Since when do you call me that? And I mean I’m gonna take care of you from now on but you better start listenin or I’mma spank that fine ass.”

Not the most ‘appropriate’ thing to say but it had the desired effect and she let out a little laugh in spite of her self. Aurora sobered quickly though, worrying her lip and looking up at me through those long lashes. “I didn’t think you saw me that way.”

I shifted, trying to get some feeling back in my foot. “Yeah.” Now it was my turn to feel a little nervous. “Was I wrong thinking you felt that way?”

Maybe I had been wrong taking that little kiss as confirmation.

But I didn’t need to worry. Aurora shook her head emphatically. “No, I do. I have, since like, I started. It’s just that everything over the last few days barely feels real, ya know?”

That made sense. Trauma, especially something so violent and unexpected could shake your mental state up pretty badly. “Makes sense. But hey, I know what I’m feeling right this minute.”

She leaned back to look at me. “Yeah? Gonna share?”

Having finally regained feeling in my foot, I stood up with her in my arms and she reflexively wrapped her arms around my neck. “Hungry. I want breakfast.”

She laughed and hugged me tightly as I carried her to the kitchen.

——

Chapter 6

Aurora POV

Most of the day passed in a blur, I was so tired and slept a lot but Josh had made sure I got what I needed, only leaving my side when I took a shower.

I scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed until my skin was raw, possessed by an urgent need to purge the feeling of Danny’s hands on my body. Closing my eyes I tried to let the water ease the ache I could feel so deep it was like it was in my bones and focus on the positive.

Focus on Josh.

My heart fluttered when I thought about how it felt to be safe in his embrace and the feel of his lips. I was so used to everything being temporary or untrustworthy it was hard not to feel anxiety about it too. Well, more so that he would come to his senses and send me back there. I tightened my arms around myself when it was like my whole body rebelled at the notion.

I’d sleep in a dumpster before I went back there.

That thought sent off a fresh wave of fears and stresses I just couldn’t deal with in the moment. I found myself wanting nothing more than to curl up into Josh’s arms and beg for it all to go away. As if he could read my thoughts a gentle knocking on the door interrupted the free fall into disassociation.

“You okay?” He sounded worried.

I turned off the water, unaware it had progressively gone cold and stepped out, noticing the time on the wall clock. It was eleven, I’d been in here for almost an hour. My whole body warmed at the thought of his concern, mitigating the chill a little bit. I wasn’t used to someone worrying about me.

“Yeah…I just realized I don’t have any clothes though.” I felt young and stupid and vulnerable. Like a child who had forgotten their away bag for a sleepover and was too scared to tell anyone.

“I got you, so long as you don’t mind wearing my stuff again. We can take care o’the rest tomorrow.”

Wrapping myself in a towel I opened the door enough to receive the bundle of clothes he held. A makeshift tank top of his and pair of basketball shorts. It made me smile to myself to think of him chopping up tshirts various ways before his matches. The shorts were a no go, they wouldn’t stay up unless I had something to secure them. I’d have to settle for the shirt and the only ancient pair of panties I had from…that place. Not home. I’d never think of it as home again.

I loved being enveloped by his smell though, just wearing this made me feel safer and more relaxed. Another idea flitted through the back of my mind. One that would surely help me forget Danny and his slimy hands.

Instead of continuing to try and figure out how to get the shorts to stay up, I folded them up. Hesitantly I stepped into the hallway to find him waiting, scrolling on his phone.

His coffee colored eyes swept over me from head to toe and I couldn’t fight the blush I felt blooming. He straightened and I held out the shorts. “I’m sorry, they won’t stay up.”

Josh didn’t speak right away but licked his lips and blinked before looking from my exposed thighs to the floor as he took the garment back and tossed them unceremoniously. When he did talk it was low and soft. “S’okay. You don need to apologize all the time anymore baby.”

My brain was scrambled but hormones were a hell of a thing. I just wanted a little piece of good amid the crazy. Fuck it, what do I have to lose by teasing him a little? “Or what? You gonna spank me for that too?”

His head snapped up with a surprised expression that shifted quickly into a predatory smirk and my breath caught in my throat. When he stepped into my space, crowding me back against the doorframe I wasn’t even aware of the pain from the bruises but focused solely on him instead. Leaning down so our noses touched he never broke eye contact when he answered in a heated whisper.

“Baby girl, Daddy’s gonna spank you for all sorts of things and you gonna beg for more.” Bringing a hand up he cupped my chin and slid a thumb over my bottom lip, dipping into my mouth just a little. “And more. Once you’re feelin better you’ll be screaming for mercy all night, every night.”

I was pretty sure I was going to faint. Fear and need crashed through me together with an overwhelming intensity, the throb between my legs for him roared to life with a vengeance. All I could muster was a whimper and he chuckled softly.

“Gotta be careful what games you play baby, I always win.”

Now that sparked something defiant in me. An aroused defiance, but defiance all the same. I wanted to show him I could play too, this felt good and it worked towards my plan of making me forget all about yesterday.

I pressed my body into his, my nipples becoming hard and sensitive with the friction from pressing into his chest. My arms encircled his neck and his eyes widened in surprise. A hard lump rose against my belly as I tried to get my hips closer to him somehow, seeking relief for my aching pussy. Josh seemed a little uncertain but his arms came around my middle, melding us together nicely.

I didn’t know the right way to ask for what I wanted so I’d just have to go for it. “I want you.”

Simple and to the point.

He groaned, deep in his chest and started peppering kisses down my jaw and neck before retracing the path with a languid stroke of his tongue. My head spun and my hands clutched at his shoulders. I whimpered when his teeth grazed my neck, it felt so good it chased away the doubts and fears, replacing them with blind want and need. In this moment I’d do anything to be closer still.

Josh pressed a knee between my legs, making my head fall back with a gasp. Memories of my fantasy about riding his thigh caused a fresh rush of heat to my core and I ground against him with a helpless abandon. One of his big hands tunneled into my hair and then his lips were crushing mine, tongue thrusting between my teeth to explore and coax my own into action.

The hand not controlling my head began to slide up my thigh, I could feel his strength as he massaged his way up to my hip. Once there, he dug in hard.

Directly into a bruise.

I cried out against his mouth as my body went rigid in an unexpected flash of pain. He let go instantly with a curse but wrapped his arms around me to comfort me. Gritting my teeth against the hurt I pressed my face into his shirt and gave a frustrated whine. I felt him take a deep breath before he spoke.

“I’m sorry baby.”

Wrapping my own arms around him I gave his middle a squeeze, my voice mumbled against his chest. “Not your fault.”

He sighed and pulled back, looking down at me with a soft smile he ran a hand over my hair in a comforting gesture. “Needed to slow down anyway. You ain’t in the right place right now.”

Disappointment and insecurity flared to life within me. “I want to make my own choice.”

“I know baby girl but I don’t want you to hate me tomorrow. *I* don’t want to hate me tomorrow. And I will if I take advantage of you right now.”

Irrational tears burned my nose. Fear and shame made me think he didn’t actually want me and I tried to push away. “I’m sorry.”

“Where you goin?” He didn’t let me go and I fussed against him.

“I don’t know.” I sniffed, feeling confused and ridiculous. Some part of my brain tried to reason with me but the negative parts were louder. “Being close to you like this makes me feel some type of way. Lemme go.”

He laughed, deep a low and sexy and I hated him a little for how I was feeling. “Now hold on. We can still do somethin about that.”

I stopped wiggling and the half hearted pushing, my attention coming back to the warmth I could feel everywhere we touched. Jeez, trauma really does fuck with your ability to regulate.

“What do you mean?”

Stepping back he ran his hand along my arm until our fingers were interlocked and gave me a soft tug. “I just had to get myself together so I don’t cross that big line too early. But I said I’d take care of you and I meant it, now c’mon.”

I’d follow him anywhere right now even if I didn’t have a full picture of what he had in mind. Letting him lead me felt right and my fears he didn’t actually want me were soothed somewhat.

Once in his bedroom he let me go to strip down to his boxers. Shyly I averted my eyes and he snorted. “Better get used to this.”

He pulled me with him as he climbed into the bed, maneuvering until we were facing each other on our knees. “I want you to show me what you like.”

I blinked, suddenly feeling very silly and uncertain. “Uh, what do you mean?”

Josh’s smile was sexy, his beard felt good against my skin as he kissed the corner of my mouth. “Girl, you are somethin else. Show your Daddy how you like to be touched, show him what gets you off.”

Oh I’d understood him the first time but I wasn’t sure how I felt about showing him. “I-uh—I don’t know, it-I feel stupid.”

“There ain’t nothing stupid ‘bouta woman feeling pleasure Rori. Now, show me or there’ll be consequences.”

That bratty desire to be defiant rose in me again, wanted to test him and see what he meant by consequences. Maybe I’d explore that feeling another time, when I wasn’t so nervous. He seemed determined and I was too turned on to argue. At least I’d get a little relief from the ache between my legs. With a defeated sigh I caved. “Okay.”

Josh looked bemused but satisfied he was getting his way. Avoiding eye contact I grabbed a pillow and closed my eyes as I situated it between my knees, trying to find the right spot to put the most pressure. It was never easy and being watched made it so much worse.

“Rori?”

I froze, shame exploding in my gut. “Y-yeah?”

“Have you ever had sex?” His voice was gentle.

I shook my head no. He nodded.

“Been touched by someone else?”

Again I shook my head no and again he nodded.

“Hell have *you* ever touched yourself?”

Biting my lip I shook my head for a third time. “Well, I’ve tried a couple times but I just get frustrated and stop. This makes me -“ I shook my hands nervously, not wanting to say the words -“ya know, makes me feel good. It’s short but it helps.”

Running a hand over his face Josh took a few deep breaths and gripped his growing erection through the plaid fabric he wore. It was hard not to look down but his obvious size made me nervous.

“Whaddya think about when you do it?”

I shifted, seeking some relief. May as well tell him, I was getting frustrated, my nipples tingling and my pussy aching. I was so turned on I was fighting shivers. “Last time I thought about rubbing myself on your thigh instead of the pillow. You held me and helped me move.”

Josh groaned and bit the knuckle on his middle finger before speaking, his voice raw. “You’re makin the whole waiting a couple days part real hard right now baby.”

My own frustration was peaking, he was torturing me and I think he knew it. I sounded petulant but I didn’t care. “You asked!”

Ever so gently he encircled my neck with a hand, exerting a tiny bit of pressure. I felt my bones melt.

“Mind that attitude baby.” He smirked, watching my reaction with the same expression of a cat who’d caught a canary. “I’m decidin how I’m gonna get you off the first time.”

Before I could respond he was moving, shifting so he was situated behind me and slightly to my right, his chest pressed to my back. One of his calloused hands glided up underneath his shirt to cup my breast, rolling the hard pebble there between his thumb and forefinger. He nipped at my neck, alternating his pressure and soothing the spots where he bit me harder with his tongue.

I thought I might cum just from him playing with my breasts, I could feel every roll and pinch in my pussy. “Oh, oh, feels so good!”

I felt him smile against my neck. “Just wait baby, Daddy’s gonna blow your mind.”

Tauntingly the fingers of his other hand ran across the top of my panties, back and forth a few times before finally dipping below the elastic. I bucked against him involuntarily with a gasp when his finger brushed the top of my soaked slit for the first time. “Josh!”

He flat out growled, his fingers becoming more insistent in their exploration, dipping into my wetness. “Jesus fucking Christ, your body’s just beggin to be fucked huh baby? You want Daddy to fuck you?”

If it weren’t mad with need I’d have been ashamed of the noise I made, somewhere between a keen and a wail. When his fingers started circling my swollen clit, swiping over the sensitive bud with just the right amount of pressure I thought I was going to break apart. “Yes! Yes Daddy please!”

Letting go of my breast he used that hand to guide one of mine into his boxers to circle around his cock. I moaned, even if I couldn’t see him just feeling the thick, veiny staff in my hand was enthralling and so, so hot. Guiding my hand with his own he began making long strokes as he slid his other middle finger inside me. My walls clamped down around the digit, it was slightly uncomfortable but the added sensation of the heel of his hand pressed into my clit over road it with pleasure.

Pressing his lips to my ear he smirked even as he began to pant, his own pleasure building. “Ride my hand baby, ride it til you cum for me.”

It didn’t take a genius to know what he meant by “ride”. Doing what I would have if it were just the pillow I rolled my hips and lights exploded behind my eyes. “Oh my god!”

My whole body shuddered and I felt my control slip away, completely lost to the insane pleasure grinding into his hand brought me. I’d never managed a fraction of how good this felt on my own. Waves began to build within me and suddenly all those romance novels made sense.

“That’s it baby, give it all to me.” His hand sped up and so did I, feeling an explosion building within me.

“I-Josh, oh-I think I’m gonna cum!”

“Hmm, go for it baby girl, lemme see your face while you cum for me.”

I let my head drop back against his shoulder and opened my eyes to watch his face. The pressure in me erupted, sending shock after shock of intense pleasure through me. It felt like my whole body from head to toe was racked with the overwhelming sensation of my orgasm as my walls clamped around his finger over and over again. Relaxation like I’d never felt before washed through me amid the aftershocks and I slumped against him.

Wetness coated my fingers now as he continued to use my hand to jack off. Josh’s own noises were becoming more erratic as his release drew near. I leaned up to kiss him, deciding I’d try talking to him like he did me.

“Cum for me Daddy, I wanna make you feel good too.”

Removing his finger from me he brought it to his mouth and sucked my essence off, his eyes drifting closed as he moaned low and deep and long. After another few strokes his whole body stiffened, his dick pulsing in my hand with his release. I loved the look on his face as he orgasmed, it was so hot I felt a fresh spark of want.

“Shit baby, that was good.” Slowly, reluctantly he got up and padded over to the bathroom. He was completely naked when he came back with a hand towel. “Here sexy, clean up and I’m gonna get some clean boxers.”

Removing my underwear I did as he said, tossing the soaked garment and towel into the hamper as he crawled back into bed with me. Settling into his arms, my ear pressed to his heartbeat, I sighed contentedly, sleep already blurring my vision. “Thank you, this still hardly feels real.”

“You ain’t never gonna have to worry again baby. Now get some sleep.”

The last thing I remembered was him pressing a kiss to the top of my head.

—-

Jey POV

The first thing I became aware of the next morning were the long strands of sweet smelling auburn hair tickling my nose. The second thing I became aware of was her naked bottom pressed firmly against my morning wood, making me grateful I wore boxers to sleep. In a few weeks I’d be able to just roll her over on my stomach and slide into her soft heat, waking her up by fucking her.

Carefully so as not to wake her I shifted out of bed. She gave a slight whimper before burying her face in my pillow and settling back into sleep. Good. She needed it.

I played last night back over in my head as I filled a bottle of water, wrote a quick note that said “gym or kitchen” to leave on the bedside table to she wouldn’t panic about waking up alone and moved on into my morning workout. It felt good to move the weights around and lose myself to the focus it brought. A lot had changed in a short amount of time and it felt good to do something normal and consistent.

It had taken every shred of control I had not to push all the way and just take what I wanted. I’d been lost for a minute when she’d pressed that sweet, curvy little body against me, the want clouding her hazel eyes and her hips grinding deliciously against my leg. I don’t think I would have held back if she hadn’t cried out in pain and she deserved better for her first time than being rutted into against a doorframe. Not to mention I wanted her healthy and clear headed, not bruised and freshly traumatized.

Remembering the way her body had clutched my finger like a fucking fist caused a rush of blood to my cock. It turned a dark part of me on to know I would be the only man to ever have her. Normally I didn’t mess with younger women or virgins, I could be a hothead and made some stupid choices here and there but I really wasn’t interested in breaking some innocent girls heart. Sex was great, tears not so much.

A ding from my phone brought me back to the present and I dropped down from the pull up handles. A message from Jonathan along several others from Sami and Joe and Phil. Only one of them had my son and I didn’t have the wherewithal to chat about much else right now. At least not without spilling the whole ordeal.

“**when’s good? we can bring dinner w/ little man**

I wondered if he’d drop off food and Jason on the porch and drive away. I doubted it but I also felt a twinge of anxiety at the thought of explaining the situation to anyone, let alone my twin. And Trinity.

The longer I waited the worse it would be though.

Taking a deep breath I responded.

**yeah thanks. 7?**

While I waited for him to respond I hopped on the delivery app and ordered a few pairs of underwear and simple blue tank top dress in Medium. I wasn’t an expert on women’s sizes but I figured that was safe. I’d let Rori go shopping for herself when she felt up for it. The thought of spoiling her, of dressing her in nice clothes and other nice things made me grin. I’d never mentioned it but I’d noticed she wore the same few ancient articles all the time.

**bet, c u later**

Wrapping up my workout I moved to the kitchen to make breakfast and debated waking her up. I didn’t have to wonder what to do long when she appeared in the room, making me jump and swear which was followed by her giggling.

“Gonna get you a damn bell.” I went to her and pulled her close as a blush stole across her cheeks. “How’d you sleep baby?”

“Not bad. Was pretty tired after last night.” Her fingers were drawing shapes on my chest, causing a tingling feeling to spread into my lower body.

I laughed and stroked her hair. “Did you like that?”

Aurora nodded shyly and ducked her head to avoid eye contact.

Dropping my head to kiss the shell of her ear I smiled when I felt her shiver. “You want Daddy to touch you some more baby?”

Embarrassed she pressed her face into my chest and nodded again.

“Nah girl, you gotta look at me when you ask me to make you cum.”

Biting her lip she looked up at me through those lashes, the same look that had me thinking about her on her knees, and whispered.

“Please?”

Hauling her over my shoulder made her shriek but the laughter it dissolved into told me she wasn’t upset. Breakfast forgotten I headed for the bathroom, an entirely different meal now on my mind. Swatting her ass lightly made her squirm and whimper deliciously. I couldn’t wait to hear the noises she’d make with my tongue buried in her while orgasm after orgasm tore through her.

“What’re you doing?”

“You’ll see baby.” I liked the sound of her laugh so I tickled her bare thighs making her wiggle even more. She gasped then froze when we got to the master bath and I sat her on the cool marble counter.

“Uh, Josh?” Aurora sounded uncertain.

“Hmm? You gonna get nervous now?” I cranked in the water and turned to her.

She crossed her arms over her chest defensively. “No…”

I smiled and held the sides of her face, guiding her in for a deep kiss. Coaxing her with my tongue I felt her relax and return the kiss, gently pressing back against my invasion as she slid her hands up my chest to my shoulders. Waiting was going to be so hard. Breaking away I grinned down at her.

“We don have to do anythin you ain’t ready for. All you ever gotta do is say ‘stop it’ and I promise I will.”

Aurora sighed and I could feel the relief roll over her shoulders. “Thank you. I want you so much I can’t think one minute and then the next I’m really nervous and then I’m sad.”

It made sense, she had been through so much. “Well where you at right now?”

Glancing at the shower before looking back at me she answered in a shy whisper. “Can’t think.”

I ran my hands up her thighs until my thumbs rested against her lips there, hovering just outside her slit. She trembled and whined. “You wet for me?”

She nodded and I took my hands away to pull the shirt off, leaving her completely exposed before stripping down myself. I liked the little gasp she gave before averting her eyes again. Mindful of our states I wrapped her legs around my waist and carried her to the shower. The hot water was incredible but didn’t come close to the feeling of her nakedness pressed against me. All I would have to do is pin her to the wall and thrust.

I set her down under the spray but pressed her to the cold wall with a kiss, trailing down her neck to her shoulder. Her hands slid up and down my wet biceps, squeezing and clawing. Closing my mouth around one of her brown nipples she cried out when I sucked, rolling my tongue over the sensitive bud.

“Josh! Oh!” Girl had some sensitive nipples. Good, I couldn’t wait to torture them and try to make her cum that way. But another time, right now I had something else planned.

Careful to as not to slip on the slick floor I got to my knees in front of her while kissing my way down her belly. I loved the way her whole body twitched when I gently bit her inner thighs.

“Put your legs on my shoulders baby.” I kissed her lower belly one more time before lifting her bottom. She did as instructed but she looked off balance as her hands fought for purchase on the stone wall. “And your hands in my hair.”

“What’re you gonna-oh god!” Aurora’s hands tunneled into my hair as I slid my tongue along her wet seam. She tasted so good it made me moan and I continued lapping at her.

Nails dug into my scalp as I picked up the pace, alternating between circling her clit and plunging deep into her pussy, thighs quivered and tightened around my ears and her heels dug into my back. She moaned and cried out, my name tumbling off her lips over and over again. But I wanted something else.

Carefully I shifted most of her weight to my shoulders in order to free up a hand. She whined when I pulled back a bit but kept teasing her opening with a finger. “Wanna hear you call me Daddy baby girl. I want you to beg Daddy to let you cum.”

When our eyes met I was rewarded with a gorgeous sight, her lips parted ever so slightly as she breathed, eyes half lidded and cheeks bright. She was completely mine to do with whatever I wanted in that moment and the power of her trust was better than any drink.

“P-please Daddy, please let me cum for you.” Her lack of control was evident in the tremble of her voice. I wouldn’t make her suffer too long. We could play those games another time.

Pressing my face back to her pussy I slid my middle finger into her slowly while sucking on that delicate bundle of nerves. Her head fell back and she arched into me with a wail as her walls spasmed around my finger. I kept going, kept feasting at her through the waves of her first orgasm and into the next as she began to twist and buck, now crying out for mercy.

“Too much! Too much! JOSH!” As her second release peaked her voice cracked with a scream I’d never forget. I slowed down but kept licking until she began tapping out on my arm and pleading with me to stop.

As promised I let her go and she melted into my arms, we sat that way for a few moments while she caught her breath. After a few minutes I nudged her chin so she’d look up at me. “You good?”

“I didn’t know my body could do that twice in a row.” The shock in her voice was a nice stroke to my ego. I prided myself on being a giving partner, I loved a woman’s face lost in pleasure.

“That’s just a taste too baby girl. I bet we can get more than that outta ya.”

Her grin took on a mischievous quirk. “What about you? Can I do that?” Inquisitive fingers encircled my cock and I grunted. Righting myself I put a hand on her shoulder indicating she stay down on her knees.

And there it was, that look where she bit her lip and looked up at me, only this time droplets of water caught in her long lashes giving her an unearthly beauty. Copying my earlier motions she ran her hands up my thighs before finally touching me again, carefully stroking my length. Gently grabbing a fistful of her hair I guided her until the tip was pressed to her lips.

“Breathe through your nose and take your time. So long as you don’t bite me I’ll prolly like whatever you do.”

I knew exactly what I liked in a blow job but this wasn’t the time for that kind of roughness. Instead I wanted to let her explore and take it at her own pace for now, until she was more comfortable. Then I’d worry about getting all the way down her throat.

It was impossible to contain my hiss when her tongue flicked out over the tip, she gave a few more licks before taking the tip fully into her mouth for few sucks. The sight of her like this was so hot, I never wanted to forget. Carefully, she inched a little farther, taking an another inch or so. She still had a long way to go and it was hard fighting the urge to thrust forward.

“Gimme your hand baby.”

She did as instructed without stopping the back and forth motion she’d started on those first few inches. Taking her fist I wrapped it around the base and showed her how to move her hand in time with her mouth. Wet and sloppy with her saliva her hand glided up and down smoothly, pretty soon I was the one twitching with my head thrown back.

Taking a little more Aurora moaned around me before taking so much she finally gagged. Knowing it was getting her turned on too and that she wanted more was just about enough to send me over. I stopped her by pulling her head back. “Lemme cum on that pretty face baby.”

She nodded and using her hand it only took a few more seconds of stroking before I painted her face and hair and chest with a deeply satisfied groan. Watching her pink tongue swipe my essence off her lips was almost enough to get me hard again even so soon.

“Did I do okay?” I loved the shy but hopeful expression as I pulled her to her feet to rinse us both off.

“Nah baby, you did great.” I kissed the top of her head, turning off the water and stepping out, pulling her along.

My phone buzzed letting me know her clothes were here. Good, I needed to tell her about Jon and Trinity coming for dinner anyway.

Aurora smiled at me and went about drying off, sneaking looks over as we exited the room.

“I ordered you some clothes and they’re here, I’mma get dressed and go grab em. Need to talk over some food so meet me in the kitchen?”

With a nod she danced off to the kitchen in her towel and I smiled after her. Now I just had to get over the hurdle of explaining this to my brother and his wife without sounding like a total head case.

Chapter 7

Aurora POV

“Josh…”

“We don *have* to say anything specific. These things, it’s just gonna be hard to keep it from Jon anyway. Can’t ever hide shit from each other.”

I nodded but it didn’t make me feel any better. It was easy to accept that he had strong bonds to his family, I just didn’t know how that felt. Everything still felt new and raw, I wasn’t even a whole 72 hours into this relationship before he’s talking about letting people know. It felt rushed and I couldn’t tell if I would feel that way normally or just because of the situation.

“Okay.” His eyes narrowed, my tone must not have been very convincing.

“Bullshit. You better learn t’speak up for yourself ‘round here.”

Crossing my arms I tried to force the words out of my throat. It wasn’t easy, I’d never been asked directly how I felt about things. Not unless I was going to be punished for those feelings.

“Promise you won’t be angry?”

Understanding dawned in his eyes and his whole face softened. Gently he tucked a loose strand of my crazy hair behind an ear. “Promise.”

“It feels rushed. This-us-I don’t even know what we are. I don’t know what’s safe to assume or not. I’m nervous. What if they don’t like me? Or thin-mmph!”

Josh cut me off by pressing his lips to mine with a grin. His hands ran gently over my arms and back up to stop at my shoulders with a comforting pressure. “Relax baby girl. You and Trinity are gonna make a great team and Jon’s gon love you just because. It’s me they’re gonna be mad at.”

That didn’t make sense. Why would they be mad at him when he’d saved me? “Why?”

With a groan he swiped a hand over his face. “Cuz anyone with sense would assume I’m completely takin advantage of you. Hell I am. Never shoulda touched you.”

Tears built in my eyes as fear rippled through me again when his face became clouded with guilt. What if he decided he didn’t really want me or this was all too wrong? I didn’t want that. My heart hurt at the thought of not feeling him close anymore.

“But-but-“

“Shhh, baby.” His calloused hands cupped my face and his thumbs ran along my jaw. “Doesn’t mean I plan t’stop.”

My emotions were a roller coaster and I really didn’t appreciate him sending me for another loop. I reared back and punched him in the shoulder, not hard enough apparently, but he was right again about winning games. He acted as if I’d dislocated it, making a dramatic noise and falling to his knees in front of me, effective in making me laugh as he’d planned.

When he started running his hands up and down my thighs while kissing my stomach through the soft cotton dress he’d presented me earlier my laughter dissolved into soft sighs. I gripped the counter and tried to grit my teeth in an effort to hold onto my frustration.

“Not fair.”

He was pushing the knee length hem up past my waist with one hand while the other ran two fingers over my clothed slit. Even through the underwear the sensation made me twitch, my hips seeking more. As much as my body wanted it I needed to think, to get ready. I pushed him away

“Stop it.”

The twist of his lips was contrite but he stood and guided me to the table. “Here, sit and I’ll make us somethin to eat.”

“What do we tell them?” Fidgeting I realized for the first time since texting Josh I didn’t have my phone. “Dammit.”

“Hmm?” He raised an eyebrow at me.

“My phone. Oh man, my laptop. How am I gonna get schoolwork done?” All the overwhelming feelings that felt like they were hovering just behind a dam threatened to spill over. Panic tightened my chest and made my head swim, I dropped it into my hands, grinding the heels of my palms into my eyes. Josh was by my side right away, murmuring soft, comforting words in my ear while he petted my hair.

“Hey, hey, you gotta breathe Aurora. We’re gonna take care of all that, I was just waiting for you to feel better before I brought it up. Get you a new phone, new computer, new clothes, all of it, whatever you need.”

Instead of stopping my tears his words broke the dam and I started crying again, this time in a weird mix of sadness, stress, gratitude and love. It was hard to believe he cared so much but I had no choice but to trust him. Not something I was inherently unhappy about but also not something I was used to. Everyone in my life had let me down so far. Would Josh really be different?

“Let it out baby.” He cradled me against his shoulder and let me sob. Faster than before I felt the immense waves of emotions subsiding and my cries faded only for my stomach to growl loudly.

Josh laughed, rubbing my neck and kissing my forehead as he stood and went about fixing sandwiches.

“Thanks.”

“You don’t have to thank me but you’re welcome. As for your first question, we’re gonna tell ‘em the truth. I don’t like lying to Jon an there’s no point. Now, what we tell everyone else may be different. But don’t worry bout that tonight.”

I was struggling with the thought of talking to his closest relative, I couldn’t conceive the thought of more people right now. Taking a bite of my meal I nodded, using the time I needed to chew to think over what I wanted to say.

“I don’t really understand your need to tell him but I can be okay with it. But can we keep it at them for now please?”

“Course baby.”

“I really miss Jason, can’t wait to hug him.” The little boys love would be a much needed balm right now.

“Me too.”

It felt good to be listened to even if I didn’t understand how I was feeling. I just have zoned out because Josh laid a hand over one of my and called my name quietly.

“You with me Rori?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you really wanna be together? We don’t-“ he paused and worked his jaw for a second “-don’t have to be together ya know. I’ll make sure you’re okay and I’m gonna keep paying you for taking care of Jason. If you know, you wanna leave at some point.” He was squeezing my hand now, almost to the point of pain.

I loved his touch. Raising my gaze from where our hands rested on the table to his dark eyes I swallowed and tried to make sure whatever I said next captured what I wanted to say. ‘Yeah, duh’ didn’t seem right.

“You asked me earlier and my answer is the same. No body else I’ve met has made me feel like this.” I paused and tilted my head in thought. “I like our lives together so far. I don’t wanna go anywhere. Just scared. Like it’s too good to be true.”

He nodded. “You been through a lot, hell I don’t hardly know what all, but we can make something outta this, something real good. Just gotta do the work.”

“No you sound like the school counselor.” I felt my lips quirk into a grin when he made a face.

“Ugh don’t remind me how young you are. And I sound like that cuz I went to therapy. You’re gonna go too.” Now that surprised me.

“You go to therapy?”

“Yeah. Ever since little man was born. Can’t be mad all the time with a kid around, ya know?” He tilted his head and smiled with a shrug.

“Yeah. I don’t even know my dad’s name.” I laughed when he winced. “It’s okay. I’ve have a long time to make peace with it.”

“Still. I know it’ll take some time but I want you to trust I’m not gonna go anywhere or hurt you or throw you out.” I don’t know how he read my mind so well but I appreciated hearing it all.

“Now c’mere.” Pulling me into his lap Josh buried his face in my neck, nipping and kissing and licking softly while he massaged my thigh. Smacking his shoulder I shrieked a laugh.

“You’re the worst!”

“Oh you have no idea.” And with that he slid a hand up my dress again, pressing that most sensitive spot while his lips worked their way to my ear. “Don’t want you thinkin of sad stuff. Want you all hot and bothered and moaning.”

He got his wish as he worked me with his hand until I was clutching his shoulders and making a mess in his lap. Laying against his chest as the aftershocks receded I closed my eyes and let the remaining exhaustion steal me under again. My last coherent thoughts were on his voice murming to me softly.

“I got you baby, Daddy’s gonna keep you safe, I promise. You’re home with me now.” I thought I dreamed the last part but I would have sworn he said, “I love you.”

—-

Jey POV

Carrying the small woman in my arms was becoming a habit I didn’t want to get rid of. I loved how she melded into me as if she was fucking custom fitted. Loved how easily she let me maneuver her and the warmth of her curves. Loved her laugh and her accent and the way she moved.

I loved Aurora Begay.

Goddamit.

It wasn’t easy to come to terms with the fact that I was, indeed, taking advantage of her situation. It was impossible not to be touching her all the time, like I needed to make sure she was really here, really okay and really wanted me back. I wanted her to forget the bad she’d been through but was also painfully aware that isn’t how it works.

Settling her sleeping form on the sofa I went to work on the house. There wasn’t much to do without little man leaving a trail of crumbs and toys behind him. Something a dog would be good for helping clean up. An idea occurred to me. Maybe Aurora would like a companion? Jason would lose it for a dog.

I decided we were going to the local shelter if that’s what Rori ended up wanting. Running the easy mop over the floor I looked over at her on the couch. I’d do just about whatever she wanted to make her happy, something I had a feeling fancy things wouldn’t accomplish but another being to love and be loved by would.

Jason. I was thankful they already got on so well and that he was so young. At three there wouldn’t be much of a difference in his perception of the situation. If anything, having ‘his Rori’ around more often and closer would be a good thing in his mind. Once I was satisfied with the state of the downstairs I settled in next to her and checked the time. Almost 7, my brother would be rolling up any minute.

Reaching over I nudged her shoulder. “Hey baby, wake up.”

“Hmm?” She stretched and looked disoriented upon opening her eyes at first but smiled when they landed on me. Again I tugged her close to me, enjoying the smell of her hair and the way she giggled when my beard tickled her neck.

“They gon be here soon. You feel ready? Need to do anything?”

No sooner than she shook her heard no the doorbell rang. I could see the anxiety flicker in the way her brows drew together and her lips tightened. Kissing her forehead I went to let them in.

“It’ll be okay, I promise.”

My brother and his family tumbled in like usual, talking and laughing about something or other while handing a waving Jason over to me for a hug. Trinity noticed Aurora standing in the living room first and turned to me with a confused expression. She nudged Jonathan and he did the same, before Jason finally noticed her from my arms. His scream of joy was piercing.

“MY RORI HERE!”

Rushing to him with a huge smile I was happy to see she wasn’t shy about showing her love for him. Her whole face was heart stopping as she swept him away from me and his chubby arms locked her neck in a vice.

“Sure am little dude!”

“Let’s move this to the dining room.” Neither Jon nor Trinity were satisfied but did what I asked. “Aurora? Can you start setting up while I get drinks baby?”

I made sure to add that to the end and avoided meeting their gazes. They’d have it explained soon enough.

Of course my twin followed me through the swinging door into the kitchen, putting a hand against the refrigerator door so I couldn’t open it before he finally spoke. “Excuse me.”

I sighed. “Yeah?”

“The fuck you calling Jason’s nanny “baby” for? Why is she here Joshua?”

I knew he’d be mad but using my whole first name let me know we were starting off at a solid 7.5 on the Richter scale.

“I’ll explain everything after dinner and the kids are occupied k?”

He pushed away with a huff, his anger palpable but helped me gather beers and cups of water. When we got back to the dining room Aurora and Trinity had all three kids settled in their seats as they portioned out food, making small talk about the kids. I was relieved they seemed to have slipped into conversation on their own. Dinner was nice but quick as they caught Aurora and I up in what everyone had done that weekend. It was obvious they were rushing and I couldn’t blame them, I may or may not have dropped the “baby” just to aggravate the situation but also to give them a heads up in a weird way.

[v0id-echoes]

another interesting twitter observation I wanna talk about

people may have just uncovered a new / upcoming pokemon in Teal Mask related to the Loyal Three

story spoilers for Teal Mask ahead, also pretty long post warning

so in this image used when Carmine and Kieran’s grandpa is explaining Ogerpon’s real backstory to us, people noticed this cut off shape above Okidogi’s head.

Some people seem convinced that this is Okidogi’s hand / fist, but I personally don’t think it looks like that at all. One person suggested that this is Ogerpon without its mask on, which is hilariously wrong, hilariously stupid and makes zero sense in context.

However, a full image of this “mysterious shape” was apparently found in the games files, with all the other assets used in this sequence.

So naturally, people believe this is a new Pokemon. And while I find it reasonable to an extent to doubt this image’s validity, there is something in game to corroborate this. In the shop in Mossui Town, there’s a plush that looks exactly like this supposed Pokemon, just upside down, which is interestingly coloured the same as the Loyal Three’s toxic chains.

For those who don’t know, although the roles are reversed Ogerpon and the Loyal Three are based on the Japanese story of Momotarō, a boy who befriended a talking dog, monkey and pheasant (the Loyal Three) and worked with them to defeat a band of Oni (Ogerpon). However as you probably know if you’ve finished the Teal Mask story, the Loyal Three don’t really have a leader or Momotarō equivalent as far as we can see. However if we’re to assume this little purple thing is a real Pokemon, it’s safe to assume it’ll fill that role.

There’s even more evidence to back up this suggestion too. For one, the Loyal Three are all classified as “Retainer Pokemon” in the Pokedex. One definition of the word “retainer”- the only one that really makes sense in this sort of context- is essentially a servant or domestic worker. It’s very interesting that they’d choose to classify the Loyal Three as Retainers, rather than something more fitting to what we see of them in the game like “Ruffian Pokemon” or just the animals they’re based on or something, because this implies that they are indeed working under something or someone.

The other bit of evidence is that, like I said, the plushie of this supposed Pokemon is coloured the same as the Loyal Three’s toxic chains. Their Scarlet dex entries talk about how their bodies were changed and enhanced by these chains, implying that they were something different, probably smaller and weaker pokemon, originally. It’s possible that this pokemon was the source of these chains and the one who gave them to the Three, maybe in exchange for them becoming its “Retainers”.

So essentially, this supposed Pokemon is the Loyal Three’s “Momotarō”.

What do you guys think of this? With how much evidence there seems to be, I find it hard to believe nothing will come of this at all, although I am curious exactly how they’d introduce this thing if Kitakami’s story is all wrapped up.

[penncilkid]

Alright, I'll bite. (Sparked by this post) I'm gonna preface this with some context: 

First off: I'm Black in case you're unaware

Huxley is my favorite speaker. Full stop. You ask me to choose, it’ll always be him. 

Likewise, you ask for my favorite listeners, I will say Starlight and Darlin'. (I'll save my Starlight rant for another day)

My designs for both Huxley and Darlin are Black.

With this in mind, I want to be clear from the jump: I don’t have an inherent problem with these headcanons. If I did, I wouldn’t have chosen then myself. That said, I have noticed that Hux and Darlin are, more often than not, the characters that get headcanoned as POC (specifically Black) in design rosters. In some cases, they are the only POC designs present. Why is that?

Furthermore, the more often I notice this pattern so to speak, the more I sit and think about why those headcanons are so popular. I find my answer when I think about the characters I see headcanoned as white most often. Tell me why it’s "practically canon" for Lasko to be pale with light/white hair. Tell me why white Sam "just makes sense". Why? Because Lasko's a nerdy ball of nerves that stumbles over his words? Because Sam’s a sweet Southern man at heart? Those are not inherently white attributes.

Except they're treated as such. They go virtually unchallenged because they're so widely accepted by fandom. People see these personalities and character details and come up with their vision. So, let's apply that to Huxley and Darlin, shall we?

Huxley: Athlete. Canonically implied to be big, as indicated by statements made by him and other members of the DAMN crew. Classified as a himbo with parallels in Imperium highlighting how some will view him as stupid. Overall chill vibe.

Darlin: Reckless with their safety. Known to lash out/lose control of their emotions when they’re not actively hiding them. Gets injured often because they’re too stubborn to run from trouble. An overall intense demeanor that makes them difficult to approach (at least at first). 

Explain to me why this screams Black to so many people. Is it because Huxley's a dumb jock who you imagine gets stoned all the time? Oh, is it perhaps because Darlin is just so aggressive compared to your Golden Retriever-coded Asher, needing to be calmed down by everyone around them? And here's the thing: I can already imagine people saying, "That's not why I made them Black". Then explain why it "just makes sense" for them to Black. Why them out of a sea of characters? Make it make sense.

Now let me make this clear as well: I'm not expecting every headcanon to have elaborate thought behind it. For one, I get that some people take a more casual approach with designs and such. Not every choice has to have a reason or justification behind it. But when literally 95% of the Huxley designs I see are Black and half of y'all don't even know what a fucking durag is? Saying it leaves a bad taste in my mouth is putting it lightly.

You know what I wish I saw more of? Black Huxleys and Darlins with attached nuance.

Give me a Black Darlin who struggles to articulate how they feel with the people in their lives because they haven't been readily given the language to do so. You want to pair a Black Darlin with a White Sam? Why not talk about how POC have an insanely difficult time getting support from the medical system so not only does it explain why Darlin is so resistant to go to healers, but also gives an extra weight to the fact that Sam was their absolute last resort when injured? Give me a Black Darlin who has been taught their entire life that no one will have their back, that they need to learn how to depend on themself alone, and that's the reason why they struggle to feel like the pack would've cared when the Quinn shit went on.

You wanna talk Black Huxleys? Let's touch on how he's learned to control his emotions/anger because he knows how people will take it if it comes from someone who looks like him. Talk about how his moms teaching him not to use violence speaks to a deeper desire for him not to be viewed as a threat because they fear for his life otherwise. In one of his BAs, he mentions how a lot of people used to sleep with him/flirt with him solely because of his body and he could tell. Do you know how often black men are sexualized and fetishized? Why not talk about it through him? I see people explore that concept through Gavin constantly, where's the energy for Huxley? You wanna make him Black so bad, why not actually put some thought behind it? Because right now, it seems like he gets the "luxury" of being the token Black guy in the DAMN friend group at best.

I know a lot of people are probably going to dismiss this post. I am already anticipating that as I write this. But I'm so tired of pretending like this shit doesn't get to me. Because it does. I've got no intentions of leaving this fandom because I have met so many amazing people and adore Erik's content immensely. But what I am going to do is talk about the widespread normalization of attributing certain personality traits to certain racial groups. Because the non-white people in this fandom deserve better than that.

[glossysoap]

Hi! I love your work! I’m trying to get into writing and I was wondering if you had any tips on writing/formatting and like getting traction on it?

Thank you!

AW HI <333 you’re so sweet! i’m happy that you’re starting your own adventure into writing and i’m more than happy to help!

i’ll give you some base line tips bc i don’t wanna influence your actual story making that much, if that makes sense.

also i wanna make it abundantly clear that you don’t NEED to do these things if you don’t want to. i also wanna make it clear that if you go the opposite way, it doesn’t automatically make your story bad. in my opinion those things are obvious but just in case they aren’t, there you go. it’s all love here, and i’m just coming up with whatever tips i can think of.

- don’t be afraid to break your paragraphs. between dialogue, between different topics, so on and so forth.

- i know it’s aesthetically pleasing to a lot of blogs, but i wouldn’t use the small font (< s >) for your actual story just because of the strain it can put on people’s eyes. if people see that and they already know it’ll be difficult to read, they might scroll past it.

- formatting. before anyone reads your work, the formatting is what catches their eye.

and catching readers eyes is the most important thing.

for example, here’s what i do. (emphasis on ME. you can do whatever you want at the end of the day)

use a header gif (from the gif search), use a header title, so on and so forth.

start out your post by making the title the “bigger” font, and bold and italicize it. then i do a little “; character” in the super small font, not bolded or italicized.

listen,, i just like how it looks LMAO

then i find a nice gif of whoever i’m writing for. good quality, etc etc. make sure you don’t save a gif and then add it. just use the little gif search function so the original gif maker still has their handle attached.

try and make sure it’s a rectangle shaped gif and not a square because if it’s a square, it’ll just fit off to the side of your post and not sitting evenly in the middle if that makes sense.

and then under that, put a little summary.

after that put the warnings and tags and any notes you might have.

and then of course, add a read more after all of that.

it’ll look something like this!

so again, it’s all just grabbing people’s attention. once you do that, i’m sure your writing will speak for itself :)

lemme know if you have any specific questions that i can help you with <33

- tagging

when it comes to tagging, my rule of thumb is to be liberal with tagging but don’t cross tag.

for example: when writing for price, i’ll do these types of tags in the tag bar:

john price x reader, john price x you, john price x y/n, john price smut, price x reader, price x you, price x y/n, price smut, captain price x reader, captain price x you, captain price x y/n, captain price smut

and with any call of duty work, i do these in addition to the list of character x reader tags like that ^^:

call of duty x reader, call of duty x you, call of duty x y/n, call of duty smut, cod x reader, cod x you, cod x y/n, cod smut, modern warfare x reader, modern warfare x you, modern warfare x y/n, modern warfare smut, modern warfare 2 x reader, modern warfare 2 x you, modern warfare 2 x y/n, modern warfare 2 smut.

again, these are all MY tips. you can do whatever you choose to, at the end of the day. also, none of these are meant to be judging anyone who does things a different way. i still read things that don’t have a header/gif, and i still read things that have the whole story in small font — but i’m just thinking of any method or technique that might help you get traction. <3

[starboyshoyo]

RAAAH 6TH TIME TRYING TO SEND THIS 😡😡😡 i hope this works

so i wanted to metaphorically cash in this request you said i could make, and i thought i’d do that as a reward for me getting into color guard!!

can i request the twst boys (surprise me on the characters) with a s/o who dresses in the dark academia aesthetic, listens to classical music all the time, and reads classic literature a lot? (totally not how i wanna be LMAO) thank you so much <33

https://www.tumblr.com/starboyshoyo/712163095699750912/permission-to-just-reblog-all-your-works-cause

A/N: @lacuna-at-dawn hello!! I have finished my AP exams and now have time to write. I didn’t get the other five rqs so it’s good you sent it in again hhhh. Dark Academia is my best friend’s favorite aesthetic so I know a little about it! If I get some things wrong lmk! I listened to the Enkanomiya soundtrack from Genshin Impact while writing this. 

Pairings: Malleus Draconia x reader, Cater Diamond x reader

Fandom: Twisted Wonderland

Genre: general, romance

Malleus and Cater with a Dark Academia-esque s/o!

Malleus Draconia

Oh, dear Child of Man. You were made for him, weren’t you? 

While Malleus knows better than to judge on appearances, he just knows you would fit right into the beautiful, thorny landscape of his home in Briar Valley. You may not be feared by others like he is, but he can’t help but think you might understand what a life in the shadows means. It’s not all dreariness- it can be beautiful too. 

Your fashion sense is apparent to him on days when you’re not confined to your school uniform. It’s not all-black like his; instead, you opt for a mix of muted colors like wine reds, browns, and forest greens. It’s like you’re a lighter version of him- you are the shade to his shadows, the slumber to his death. 

When he accompanies you around the school, he’ll always be one step behind you. It makes him feel as if he is your protector- though it is a bit funny to see Sebek and Silver trail behind Malleus, who trails behind you. Occasionally, Rook will join in (read: stalk them) as well, and then other students will wonder if someone had started a conga line in the hallways. 

Malleus’s view of time is a little bit skewed in comparison to humans, so when he sees you reading classical literature, he might question if it’s a new release because he swears he met the author of the book just last week- nevermind, it was last century. Well, either way, he’ll go out of his way to finally get around to reading it, just so he can discuss it with you. Sebek is a big help in this regard as well- he’ll be more than happy to tutor Malleus in English so he can have more in-depth conversations about literature. 

Classical literature also gives Malleus another way to spend time with you alone. During quiet hours in the NRC library, he’ll pull up two seats by the fireplace and invite you to sit with him, curling his arms around you protectively. You’ll take turns reading out loud to each other- and when you get tired, he’ll continue in that deep, relaxing voice of his until you drift off to sleep. Then, he’ll carry you back to his room in the Diasomnia Dorm, watching over you and keeping you safe until you wake again. 

Besides library dates, Malleus’ most memorable time with you came when he asked you to show him your favorite songs. The music is somewhat melancholy and romantic, and he’ll close his eyes for a moment as he picks apart the notes. It’ll remind him of the slower songs played in the Briar Valley castle at mealtimes- only this time, he isn’t alone.

When he realizes this, he’ll stand up, striding over to you, and hold his hand out while looking at you with the love of the world in his eyes. 

Child of Man, may I have this dance? 

Cater Diamond

Cater is an expert on all things aesthetic. He’s a Magicam influencer, after all, and he needs to keep up on the times! You’ll immediately become a star, with Cater setting up a couples’ page where the two of you post various Dark Academia songs, art, photos, and other media. 

Cater is used to dressing in whatever is trendy, but the more time he spends with you the more he’ll be converted to your fashion tastes. You’d better be ready to see Cay-Cay in turtlenecks, slacks, sweaters and the occasional pleated skirt! He’s not afraid to try everything at least once to find what he likes. 

The two of you will have many dates where you’ll go to swap meets to find academia-esque clothing. He’s open to letting you dig around in his closet to find pieces you like as well. Cater will want you to pose in the mirror with your outfits, so he can snap a photo and post it to your page. The rest of Heartslabyul might be a little surprised with Cater’s change in looks, but they’ll definitely support him when they see how happy you make him. 

TBH, Cater isn’t really into reading much. Books are so old school to him! The fact that they have no screen bores him. The middle-ground you find is digital books. When you introduce him to it, he might be doubtful at first. But he’ll quickly find himself absorbed in the stories as old as time and soon enough, he’ll fall headfirst into the classical literature rabbit hole. Don’t expect him to go to the library though! Just looking at the outdated computers makes him want to retch. 

On the flip side, your boyfriend has always enjoyed classical music very much. Sure, he likes pop and country and rock too, but there’s something super calming and refined to the classics. He enjoys sharing earbuds with you while you walk down the hallways, listening to a mixed playlist of your favorites. 

Over time, Cater will find that he enjoys the calming darkness of your aesthetic over the cutesy, bright one that used to cover his Magicam page. It makes him feel a little more seen- like he can be vulnerable under it all and not have to keep up with appearances as much. 

[subjecta5newtella]

some nalby for @mazerunner-rarepairs month - AU square

It’s late evening after a light post-season practice, and Alby and Newt are headed for the dining hall when Minho catches up with them. 

“Alby!” he calls, jogging over and blocking their exit from the soccer fields. 

Alby sighs. “What?”

“Three of the freshmen challenged Thomas and I to a scrimmage, and everyone else has already left.”

“I’ve already cooled down, I’m not going to start running again.”

“Aw, come on. Thomas and I could beat them two-on-three, but that’ll damage their morale.”

“Call someone else back, then. I’m done for the day.”

Technically, he’s done in general. He’s a graduating senior who doesn’t have to come to practice at all anymore, but as the outgoing captain, he still feels a sense of responsibility. And maybe he’s not quite ready to let go, but that’s another thing entirely. Still, he draws the line at getting all sweaty again because of Minho’s pride or whatever. 

In a stunning display of self-restraint, Minho concedes that battle, then turns. “Hey, Newt?”

“What?”

“If we all promise to go easy on you, do you wanna join?”

Alby catches the exact moment when something sparks to life in Newt’s eyes.

It’s probably a bad idea. Newt can run on his bad leg, but only short distances, and his ankle and hip both have a tendency to hurt the next day. The shift in his balance makes dribbling more challenging than it used to be—he can do it, but it’s not the simple thing it once was. Newt knows all that intimately, of course, but Alby also knows he misses soccer like nothing else, had spent an evening on the bathroom floor in tears between bouts of throwing up vodka on the anniversary of the day he’d been told he’d never play competitively again. He’s a student coach now, and a damn good one in Alby’s (admittedly biased) opinion, but that’s far from the same. 

“You’ll go easy on me, eh?” Newt says, with a smile that looks a little dangerous.

“Well, you know, it’s been a while, we don’t want you to overexert yourself.”

“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were trying to convince me to play against you.”

“Aw, come on. The freshmen are getting way too cocky.”

“Fine. But if you mention anything about going easy on me again, I’m betraying you and joining them.”

He hands his backpack over to Alby, who can’t help but say, “Be careful.”

Newt rolls his eyes. “I’ll be fine.” He jogs out onto the field, managing his limp with relative smoothness.

Thomas does a little bit of a double take when he sees Newt joining them, but he drops back to take up a position on his right. He’d played right midfielder when he’d transferred to their school, before Newt had moved him to the left to cover a skill gap, and that combination of Thomas and Minho on their left flank had scored them the game winning goal in conference championships. 

It’s not just Alby’s biased opinion, really. Newt’s a good coach. He’s already gotten an offer to stay on next year as a paid position, and he’s probably going to take it, which means Alby needs to find a job here, even though neither of them have actually talked about that out loud. It’s the two of them. It’ll always be the two of them. 

A couple minutes into the scrimmage, Newt strips the ball from George and sends it up to Minho to do the rest of the running, and in that fast, fluid movement, Alby remembers the way he used to be. Starting lineup, number five, center forward. Quick. Vicious. Glorious. Other teams complained about facing him, and every time they did, Alby felt a stab of pride. People watched him, people admired him, but there were times when Newt would pull off something impossible and look back with a smile that was sharp and wild and beautiful and Alby had known it was for him.

Alby loves this version of Newt without question and he knows he will for the rest of his life, but sometimes it’s hard not to mourn the way things were supposed to be. It’s selfish, maybe. His life is not the one most affected. Knowing it’s selfish doesn’t stop him from feeling it sometimes, 

Newt’s alive, though, which is something Alby doesn’t take for granted, and in the present moment he’s celebrating Minho’s goal. It’s a little tasteless, maybe, but it’s also their first time playing together since sophomore year and they’ve already scored, so they might be entitled.

The game continues and Alby loses himself in it, watching the way Newt and Minho click back into being a solid offensive unit, how Thomas works well with the two of them even in a position that he hasn’t played in a while. It’s easy to forget that he and Newt have never actually played together. They’re a good team. They could’ve been a great one, but that’s the kind of unproductive reasoning Alby tries to shut down whenever Newt gets caught up in it, so he does his best to close it off within himself as well. 

After about ten minutes, Newt slows, then stops, mimes bowing out. He joins Alby on the sidelines as the others keep messing around, retying his hair as he does. “Can’t keep up with the youth anymore.”

“Hurt?”

“Nah. Just old. No stamina anymore.”

Alby’s not sure he believes that, because Newt’s barely even breathing hard, but Alby lets it go because he also doesn’t look like he’s in pain, either. He’ll take an excuse over a breaking point any day.

“You looked good out there,” Alby says, handing Newt’s backpack back to him. 

Newt gives him a sarcastic little salute. “Thanks, Captain. I was awaiting your approval.”

“Shut up.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Newt says, then after a moment adds, “Thanks.”

Things will never be what they used to be. It’s a waste of time to pretend otherwise. But he has Newt, and Newt has him, and they’ll get through together. They always do. 

Alby laces his fingers through Newt’s, and they head off for dinner. 

[decks-writing-blog]

She's Gone

Summary: Isaac has a talk with Alyx about her mother.

[A/N] Here on Tumblr I saw a post talking about how Alyx and Gordon could potentially trade stories about their time as Kleiner's pupil. Gordon was canonically his student and thus since he has teaching experience it makes sense he might've taken on the responsibility of being a teacher for Alyx as she grew up. It was a fun idea and made me want to write Kleiner and Alyx having some kind of funny school room related interaction, weather I was going to bring it back around to a flash forward of her having shared this story with Gordon, I was going to decide when I got there. But alas, I am cursed with the inability to come up with funny ideas on command. So when I was thinking about it, I came up with this idea instead. It isn't funny in the least but I wrote it anyway because it struck a cord with me.

Content Warning for grief and talk of Azian's death. Since she disappeared, it's entirely possible Alyx didn't immediately know she was dead and thus had be told.

~

In some ways having only one student was easier than a full college classroom. The 1st grade curriculum was naturally simpler for sure, making the main challenge in teaching it be having to resist the urge to go into the more complex specifics. Having only one pupil to focus on made making sure the ‘whole class’ was following along and understood everything before moving on to the next thing easy.

It was harder in other ways though. The situation with the Combine made everything more difficult. Trying to start and keep a classroom and school schedule as close to normal seeming as possible in hopes of shielding Alyx from the worst of it was uniquely stressful. Nothing in Isaac’s teaching career had prepared him for that. It didn’t help that that was actually a full-time job. But having recently volunteered to be her teacher – though really, Eli taught her plenty too just in a less structured and scheduled manner – encouraged her to ask him questions about it specifically.

“What’s the Combine?” “Why are we moving so often?” “What happened?” “Why?” “How?” “What about [friend, neighbor, or just person she’d known before the Combine invasion]?”

Naturally they couldn’t keep the truth from her even if that had been Eli’s first instinct. This was the world she was growing up in, she had to know everything eventually. But Alyx had turned five a mere week before the resonance cascade. So while Isaac never lied to her, he withheld the grisly details. The Combine were alien invaders from space. [X person from before]’s fate was a mystery, the three of them had had to move a few times already after all, it was hard to keep track of people who probably also fled. They moved so often because they were hiding from the Combine; “Yes, kind of like hide and seek but bigger and more important because they’re bad guys.”

With all this Isaac should’ve expected the question to pop up eventually; it was basically inevitable. And yet somehow it still took him by surprise when at the end of a math lesson – usually her favorite subject but today she’d been distracted – she approached him and… “What about Mommy?”

Isaac flinched, almost dropping the chalk eraser he’d just picked up. Trying to hide it, he erased the board before turning to look down at her. “What about her?” As if he had to ask.

“Where is she? Daddy said she’s gone but didn’t say where she’s gone to and he got sad when I asked so I didn’t ask that and don’t wanna ask again ‘cause it’ll make him sad again, I think. But you know, right?”

The small room they’d set up to be a makeshift classroom suddenly felt even smaller and stuffier than it had before. It wasn’t Isaac’s place to say anything about Azian. If Eli wasn’t ready to talk about her with Alyx then doing so in his stead wouldn’t be right. But at the same time Alyx deserved to know that her mother wasn’t coming back. Eli had probably tried to convey that but five-year-olds, even ones as smart as Alyx, weren’t known for picking up on subtleties. While ‘she’s gone’ would convey to most that the ‘gone’ was permanent, to a small child it would seem the same as saying ‘she’s gone to the grocery store’ just without the detail on where. She still believed she’d potentially she her mother again one day.

He could send her to ask Eli again later at which point he’d know to give a more clear answer. Or he could bring the matter to Eli himself and make it clear that Alyx needed a clearer answer. But it had only been a handful of months since the resonance cascade. The wound of Azian’s loss was still fresh, especially Eli. Mitigating the pain the conversation would cause would surely be kind, right? Eli was busy trying to gather up the Black Mesa survivors after all. Isaac didn’t want to distract him from that by reminding him of his dead wife.

And so with a sigh, Isaac pulled out his desk chair and sat down again. “Sit.” He gestured to the spot across from him. Her being his only pupil and there not being room for much else in most of the places they ended up, most of the time they shared a desk for this ‘school’ thing they were doing.

Alyx obeyed, pulling out the chair and clambering back up into it. As proof of her seriousness she didn’t even spin around in it this time before pulling herself over to the desk.

Isaac waited until she was settled in before explaining anything. Before he could figure out how to begin though, she spoke up instead. “She’s not coming back, is she?” Well, it least it wasn’t a surprise.

“Correct. She’s not coming back.”

“Why not?”

Was it better to be up front and direct with the answer or be gentle with it? … Isaac wasn’t entirely sure how to be gentle with this kind of news, straightforward was probably easiest. “She’s dead.”

Alyx stared at him in silence for a few seconds as her eyes welled with tears. “Like… like when you step on bugs and they die and stop moving and get squished with their insides all outside?”

“Yes.” Wait! Not a good thing to say as when applied to a human, that was a horrifically gory description. Oops. “Sort of anyway.” Gosh, science was much easier to navigate and discuss than personal emotional things like talking about a friend's death to her five year old kid. He should’ve sent her to Eli or insisted they talk about it as a group. “Her death probably wasn’t that bad.” That could be a lie though as they didn’t know how she died. Technically, they didn’t even know for sure that she was dead. But it was likely enough that holding out hope and/or letting Alyx continue to do so wouldn’t be wise or kind.

Alyx was full on sobbing now. Isaac opened he desk’s drawer to pull out a box of tissue – something that was quickly proving to be a rare luxury – before standing and walking around to hand to her. He then put a hand on her shoulder, that’s what helped Eli most of the time. It seemed to calm her a little too so he kept her hand there, shifting it slightly to lightly rub her back. Other than that though, he let her cry. She had a right to cry about this for however long she needed to.

It was several minutes before her sobbing finally started to peter out. Finally, when she was done, she blew her nose and sniffled before before looking back up at him. “I should’ve figured that out before, huh?”

“No, I don’t believe so. A lot’s been happening and changing. It is entirely logical you were too caught up in it all to figure that out. Especially since one wouldn’t want to consider such a thing.” And he and Eli had been trying to keep her distracted and busy.

“Is it the Combine that killed her?”

“Possibly. We’re not sure.”

Alyx nodded as if that was the exact answer she’d expected. “I don’t like them.”

“Me neither. We’re going to fight them though and we’re going to win or at the very least try our best to.” The only thing Eli cared about more than his budding efforts to build a proper resistance against the Combine was Alyx. And when Eli got dead set on something like that, things always got done. Isaac was just here to help and to get done whatever science and study he could while doing so.

“I wanna help.”

“I’m sure you’ll be a great help one day.” They couldn’t exactly pretend that she wouldn’t be part of their resistance efforts once she was older. Every single person mattered when it came to fighting a conquering alien force. “For now though, how about we practice reading until your dad gets home, huh?” Which would hopefully be soon and would hopefully be him returning with the info he’d gone after. No use dwelling on anxiety about what would happen if he didn’t.

Alyx looked up at him and sniffled one last time into a tissue before tossing it into the trashcan and turning the chair so she could slide off it. “Okay.”

[skyward-floored]

got anything you wanna yap about. 👀 *cough* Twi and the shade

- hero-of-the-wolf

TWI AND THE SHADE IS LIKE TWO THROWAWAY LIIIIINES trust me it’s really not a huge deal in the fic XD

I’ll yap about something else tho I can’t promise it’ll make any sense. Been thinkkng about Lost and how I don’t really know what I want the like, “vibe” for his game to be. Because all of the loz games have one, like albw is painty themed and and ww is all bright and kinda tropical, and even Berry I have him down as being all planty. But I don’t know what Lost’s should be and anything I think of isn’t what I want. It’s not muted and twilight and cowboy like tp, or bright and wild and overgrown like botw, it needs its own thing and idk what that should be :/ Zelda herself would probably be a good place to start. But I don’t knowwwwwww

Aside from that I basically finished the scene where Lost gets zapped all better so I might post that at some point eventually unless I forget. Also I’m doing more with him and the hero’s spirit because I got attached to the idea and kinda love the dynamic now. oops

[wolvertooth]

(Ultimate X-Men, issue #11)

yall think if i say Nuh Uh enough times it’ll make them be niceys to eachother

god fucking damn this comic has me in a chokehold. actually. i wanna put IT in a chokehold. also some extra context for vics little ‘i hate u’ speech -> the previous issue literally has someone hes working for call him ‘poor mans wolverine’ so i dont think he formed that opinion on his own. i think it came from always being 2nd in weapon x after wolverine showed up, despite being the only one who actually signed up for it. no matter how much he killed and tried to prove himself, they always still prefered wolverine. he went from being the best by just being himself, to now having someone who could replace him. replace his comfort, replace his worth. like most sabretooths, i assume this one also had to constantly fight to be worth something, having the need to be worth something, anything, in others eyes. he found a place where he was able to show what everyone says hes good at, the only place where hes really allowed to do so, a place where everyone there says he belongs(even if its in a degrading way), and now that role gets taken by someone else. even if theyre literally torturing wolverine more, sabretooth sees it as them giving him more attention. hes no longer special. the things that alienate him arent special anymore, now theyre back to just being bad. unworthy.

wolverine didnt do anything to make sabretooth hate him, he just hates him out of jealousy and fear. and he doesnt really even hate him, he just hates the attention he gets. victor needs to be better or else hes not useful anymore.

for some reason in my last post about this series, i neglected to include this bit here⤵️

hes been so affected by the need for weapon x’s approval, to be the best at being the worst, that hes convinced he cant exist anywhere else. theyre only good as weapons, they cant be anything else, theyre living trash.

and yet, hes terrified of being thrown out.

and i think hes also scared to recognize that hes an individual as well.

its either be all the things that society hates about him and not have to worry about it, while being at a place that he has a warped sense of ‘belonging’, or have to actually fight for himself. he’d rather fight society than fight against society. cuz then its the world against him, rather than him against the world.

[mephinomaly]

[TL] BIOHAZARD/Chapter 10

[ This post uses Ois~su ♪ ]

Kaoru: So to sum up, everything’s Sakuma-san’s fault.

Rei: Eh~? Yupyup, everything’s lil’ ol’ me’s fault~♪

Rei: My attitude was so bad!?

Koga: Even now I get fooled by the old man shit you do, but your manners 'n attitude are still bad sometimes.

Puttin’ yer feet up on desks, takin’ life easy.

Rei: Ritsu also does that. Isn’t that nice, brothers having the same habits ♪ We’re such good friends ♪ Doesn’t that make for a heartwarming story?

Koga: True. Ricchii sometimes kicks me ‘n goes ‘move out the way’.

Rei: I suppose since we are rather high ranking amongst our relatives, there is no-one to scold us for such rude behaviour.

Koga: Hmph. You're way too soft on him. You’re suppose t’be his older brother yet you can’t even tell him off.

Adonis: Shh. There’s something that seems interesting is about to happen.

Kaoru: After that Deadmanz live the other day, Sakuma-san fled overseas without even saying a word to anyone—

Rei: When work calls. I’d rather focus on doin’ stuff overseas.

Kaoru: That’s all good and all but you left all your devotees here and they started acting out.

Keito: Devotees?

Koga: W-What you lookin’ at me for?

Kaoru: Ahaha. At the live, Sakuma-san brought all of his delinquent friends with him.

Rei: Ah right. Well, that’s just how things go. So, what’s the problem?

Kaoru: The problem is, there seems to have been a bit of a misunderstanding.

They all think they're friends with superstar Sakuma Rei who’s recognised globally.

Rei: Uhuh–

Kaoru: And those who got too invested in the whole thing started calling themselves ‘vampires’. They keep ordering food and leaving without paying, and generally being nuisances.

Saying things like “We’re the disciples of Sakuma Rei, we’re so cool! Let’s not hold back!”

I just wanna know– are you making them do all of this, Sakuma-san?

The ones that call themselves ‘vampires’ say “if you’ve got a complaint, tell it to our boss Sakuma Rei!”

Rei: Are you stupid? What do I gain by makin’ them do shit like that? They’re just morons who’ve got the wrong idea ‘n are doin’ whatever they want.

They’re attention whores tryna ride on my coattails…Haa, this whole thing is weirder than I thought it was.

Kaoru: I thought as much. Those guys are just like vampires; they gather other delinquents and introduce them into the group. It’s pretty obvious.

Based on the size and their vibes, they’re like those groups of hooligans who all wore the same colours.[1]

If people are eating without paying, and hanging around the front of the store acting violently, it’s bad for business. We’re already going through a recession, we don’t need anything else adding to it.

I get it. It’s the whole “it’s your own responsibility” thing, right?

You cause them all to do this, so you should be the one to do something about it, right? Just to be safe, I’ve spoken to some nearby shops and prepared a reward.

By the way. I’m the one telling you this because we go to the same school, but I’d like to think other people around this place agree with me.

Of course, if push comes to shove, I’ll call the police. A lot of the parents of kids that go to Yumenosaki are influential people—

–so I don’t know if the police will actually do anything.

I’d prefer it if you guys could sort it out for me.

Could you ‘exterminate’ those ‘vampires’ for me? ♪

Rei: Ahaha. Might jus’ be a coincidence, but I never thought I’d be out here actin’ like Van Helsing.

Keito: If anything, you’re more like Count Dracula.

Rei: …Welp, I get what you mean. I thought that's how it would go down so I’ve been a bit proactive.

Look. Poor thing, to be left alone like this, but here's the guy behind it all.

Adonis: ...

Keito: That doesn’t make sense. What do you mean it was Otogari?

Rei: This guy’s the boss of the ‘vampires’.

To make a Count Draculua reference, you use a wooden stake to the heart to stop him movin’, ‘n cut his head off t’kill ‘im.

And it’ll be this guy’s head we’ll be cuttin’.

So basically, if we deal with him, everythin’ will be right as rain. Simple, ain’t it ♪

Adonis: ...

[ ☆ ]

he says カラーギャング or ‘color gang’, which were groups of hoodlums whose members all wear clothes in the same colour. Its associated with Ikebukuro in the late 1990s

Chapter 9

Chapter 11

[arabriddler]

I love seeing you post snippets of your writing as I go. I took a break from writing while I'm on holiday but now I'm getting back into it but it's slow going. You write so fast, it's incredible! Is there anything you've been really thinking about with your writing?

I started deciding I wanted stronger thesis statements for the writing so if I ever get lost I can refer to those if I wanna find a new direction. Are there any strong themes/ideas you connect to Penguin and the Peacock?

💖💖💖thanks :3

oh i hope the holiday was nice! Also oh I don’t think I write fast I’ve been writing it for a while while unemployed then finished up the last few chapters on those first months of employment where I just sat doing nothing lol and needed to pass the time. So now all I do is edit it on the weekends. heck wait. I think I started writing it somewhere around April last year but maybe longer than that since it’s based on my Batman AU which I’ve been building for longer. Didn’t even consider writing it down actually thought it’ll be too much to write it down but did want to write stories based on it now look where we are.

with the penguin and the peacock I kind of wanted to write riddlebird but also figure out how to get them from well, my versions of riddler and penguin, to the relationship I draw in my drawings? How to get them there? So tried to tackle some points, but well, that’s the main thing but I also wanted to tackle some themes I felt strongly about,

like hey this is what depression is like. Yeah it’s a mess. Yes it doesn’t make sense most of the time. moreover hmm, relationships with, insanely depressed people. Like Oswald’s with his mother. Oswald and Edward’s etc etc. and that’s just on Oswald’s side.

from Edward’s it was, ironically more about love. What does love mean? How do you go about wanting love and attention? When does love become devotion? And when does it become comfort? And when does it become poison?

there’s also the aspect of, taking and giving in relationships. You give and take. But that giving and taking comes from. Parts of your own self. It’s like cutting up your own flesh, no? How do you go about that?

a lot of the times I think I have questions I don’t know the answer to so, as if you’re playing the sims, I put them there and I give them the question and I see how they try to answer them. had a friend ask me how I do it and this was my answer:

IIdk . Partway being silly and enjoying and part ways it spills from a real place. Conflicts and questions I couldn’t figure out the answer to so I put it there

Ed and Oswald are fascinating together because well, Ed wants to be loved so badly he could die for it. Oswald wants something to care for or he’d go insane. It should be easy, right? It should click in place automatically, but it doesn’t because they’re not normal about these needs.

more-so, birds as a central theme is important because Oswald is a bird guy no? But an accidental theme I guess is a more religious one, idk how that came to be, actually I do, I thought well, connecting the Falcone’s with a strong religious upbringing can be interesting, wanted to write the scene where Falcone quoted the Bible to Oswald, and it clicked well, but then Oswald is the kind of guy who mimics people especially when he wants to hurt them, so he takes on for a bit, but it’s not a central theme I don’t think it’s just recurring.

Hope this helped?

[the-starship-athena]

Hey, guys! Welcome to the Q&A for Star Trek: Athena.

This will be the first of many Q&A’s for STA. I’ve gotten a few questions that I hope will clear up things. Let’s get started!

Q1: What is STA?

It’s pretty much what it says on the box.

In keeping with Star Trek tradition, I’ve named this project Star Trek: Athena. It’ll be following the adventures of the crew of the USS Athena over the course of their three year mission.

Q2: When does STA take place?

So…here’s the thing.

We know that Star Trek has two timeline, TOS (Prime timeline) and AOS (Kelvin timeline.) The relationship between fans and the timelines…well it’s complicated. You either love it or you hate it or you begrudging like both of them. I’ve been fan since I was kid thanks to me discovering Star Trek while bored during the summer and looking for something to watch.

The problem is the story that I wanted to tell didn’t fit into the prime timeline because there is already so much packed in there so I ultimately gave up on it but then when I watched the 2009 Star Trek movie I realise that maybe I could make my story but still keep it Star Trek. 

Thus, the idea for STA was born.

To answer everyone’s question, yes, it takes place in the Kelvin timeline. The story takes place in 2264 immediately after Star Trek Beyond.

Q3: Who is the crew?

Okay, so the crew is different. I kind of wanted a mix of both bridge crew and lower decks crew because I thought maybe it would be more interesting story wise. Star Trek Lower Decks did kind of influence a little bit of it but then so did The Next Generation.

I plan to release a crew profile soon so like you can get a preview of who is who and what their ranks are and what they do on the ship.

I had to do a lot of research both into the prime timeline and the Kelvin timeline about ldifferent ranks and ship classes and positions on the ship. So like I had a consult both memory alpha and beta, which was fun.  

Keep your eyes out in the future because I will post a full post about our new characters - 8 of them in total - and then the minor characters.



Q4: What do you mean by ‘episodes’ being released?

Okay, I think we’re all familiar here with the format of Star Trek so I aimed to do something similar but in a writing form. It’s not a script or a fan made movie or anything like that. Think more on the lines of the novelisation of certain episodes of TOS, kinda like that but in a shorter format.

It’s going to be a three-year mission, so I am dividing this up into three seasons. I have everything already planned out and drafts are written. Each season will most likely have 10 to 12 episodes and I’m thinking of adding like a little short mini episodes probably like in between seasons just know small little stories or maybe like deleted scenes that I didn’t think made the final cut.

The first episode of STA will be posted on April 10. Hopefully there will be no delays but I look forward to everyone reading this because I’m really excited.

Q5: Why did you start this project?

For fun.

I’ve always been a very big fan of Star Trek, ever since I was kid.

It’s the kind thing that shaped me as a person. So it’s natural that I want write something as a tribute towards it

So came up with the idea of here’s my little star starship crew and they go off into space and there’s all these cool adventures but then they also learn these important lessons… i wanted it to be in spirit of the original Star Trek while adapting some of the newer aspects of modern day trek.

But then I was like okay this might be a stretch and I realised, is this just like me day dreaming or is this something I actually wanna do and then I formed the idea of STA.

Then you know they came with the whole hammering out all the details and deciding what I wanted to do and then finally I realised let’s put this in the kelvin timeline because you know there’s a lot of unknown about this timeline so it makes sense to have this crew in this timeline.

I hope I haven’t lost anyone on this but you have question, dont be afraid to DM me.

[anonymous-dentist]

Damn this hurts. Pepito is probably the egg I am attached to the most so seeing him die in real time was hhhhhh. I had hope he be revived but well…

How about you has there been an egg that you’ve been immensely attached to and gotten that sick feeling in your chest?

Unfortunately, I think since Bobby set the precedent, there wasn’t really much they could do. It’s just ugh really frustrating as a Roier viewer since this is the second time this has happened and if he didn’t have lag then he couldve probably saved him. Hell if Roier didn’t have lag then the mobs wouldn’t have targeted Pepito since they were focusing on Roier first but then the lag killed him. At least I haven’t seen people say Roier is a terrible parent this time. It seems the consensus is just pues f no.

Ngl im okay with egg deaths as a concept. But admittedly there never has been a thing as a fair egg death. There has been no egg death that has not been controversial. And it’s not just because we are overly attached. It’s because all of them have been due to plot reasons and lag which people can easily get frustrated over (for good reason). At least the admins have been consistent with their reasonings. They really said well Bobby died because of Roier’s lag welp Pepito too.

I still think egg deaths are fine if they’re going to affect the plot in a positive way like with what happened with Bobby, but idk if that’s the case here. Maybe they’ll make some Rp out of it but I’m more scared about Roier just distancing himself. They have already said that if you have lag in a dungeon well that’s your fault, rip. But idk i feel like the system is very punishing towards Roier. Like he’s the only official parent that takes care of Pepito consistently. What is he supposed to do? Not do dungeons?

In a perfect world a fair egg death would probably be dying to mobs with no lag but well that has never happened. And the players have gotten quicker with the teleports which is why eggs haven’t died in a really long time.

You know what would be cool. Like a plot where the players figure out a way to make the eggs immortal. Like investigations into the federation. The players know that they can reverse egg deaths so why not find that power and take it from the federation. It’ll be nice to see the players winning for once.

(Also I kinda feel for Pepito’s admin you can tell they’re a builder not a fighter and they’ve been downed so many times prior and with that combined with the lag well… I suppose it was only a matter of time…) Wanna give Pepito’s admin lots of hugs 💕

Btw love the admins but yeah I get everyone’s frustrations on their decisions on lag. Thanks for allowing me to talk in your inbox ^^

I think that there’s a way to do egg deaths without having them actually die, and it makes sense in the current lore, and I’ll go into that in another post, but the lag deaths feel especially punishing to the Latin American players because they’re basically the only ones affected by lag this badly. And it’s been this bad for months! It only started getting bad again when Create was added again, and I’m not saying that they remove Create, but maybe they remove some other lag heavy mods like the fairy lights to try and accommodate how heavy the server actually is. There’s a billion mods on that server, and you’d think they would’ve come up with a way to optimize the server to accommodate