#i also got new art pencils that i used so that was fun

[nosleepgummitato]

Click for better quality please :)

Uhhehhmm. . .

I drew this while I was at the park earlier. Took about 3 hours.

It's of Passive NM and Dream in my updated human designs of them.

It's on a big piece of paper too, so I'm prolly gonna hang it up somewhere in my room :>

I live, laugh, love them everyday.

[kalloway]

sketching with a brush u don't like vs sketching with one you do /hj

Valeyna was originally my new DS2 character but I'm also porting her into an original thing I'm working on cuz it needs more of a cast of characters alongside Vasya besides Faust (again... who invited him THIS time huh /j) and a thirsty fairy (starring as the "weird little guy:tm:) LMAO

she is a soft spoken sorceress who is from a nomadic people with a bad reputation for their namesake - Albedo. She has an interest in the dark/occult and uses hexes, but as a result, she's very open-minded.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the Asshole for ruining a person's life?

©️©️©️©️©️©️ to find later.

This is an old story from when I was in high school. I was a quiet nerdy kid, but I was well liked. No one messed with me and I was on good terms with most of the popular kids. I just tended to like to read and learn. I did academic decathlon, I spent my breaks in the library, I was in the top of the class etc.

My junior year of high school, there were these two sisters that moved into the school. They weren’t twins, but they were in the same grade. The Older (We'll call her Lina) was held back one year. We'll call the younger one Wendy. Lina and Wendy were both painfully awkward little nerds, so we tended to be in the same circles. We were in the same classes and they also joined the Academic Decathlon. I spent a lotttttt of time around them.

Lina was a cunt.

Seriously an absolute cunt. She went out of her way to absolutely DESTROY any confidence Wendy had. Wendy was SO SMART. Way smarter than me. And Wendy didn't have a mean bone in her body. A very kind person. But Lina felt the need to point out EVERY small mistake or blamed everything that went wrong on Wendy. I once saw Lina SLAP Wendy and then demand Wendy apologize for it. Lina called her names, belittled her, etc. And it pissed me off.

It pissed me off even more when I met their Mom and it was SO OBVIOUS that their Mom favored Lina. She even said that "Lina is definitely the prettier one. She could be a model" when Wendy was RIGHT THERE. It pissed me off SO MUCH.

So, I might have reacted in a way that could be an asshole move.

Like I said, I was a quiet nerdy kid. But I was also pretty well liked and I used that to my advantage.

I became a little whisper in people's ears. I spent an ENORMOUS amount of time and effort turning everyone against Lina. I spread rumors that were just baaarely exaggerating the truth. I encouraged people to shit talk Lina and talk kindly about Wendy. I basically changed Wendy's reputation into a glowing saint in the eyes of the school (not difficult, Wendy was great) and I turned Lina's reputation into garbage. Like, actual garbage.

It got to the point where Lina had no friends. No one DARED to risk being seen with her. Everyone loved to shit talk her. She couldn't keep a secret for anything. If she tried to confide in someone, the news would come out immediately. No one was on her side. I even had her boyfriend spilling embarrassing intimate secrets. He kept dating her just so he could make fun of her.

Well, she did have one friend. Lina had me. I was such a kind and faithful friend, who would NEVER gossip about her or be mean. She could tell me anything.

She even drew this REALLY pretty portrait of me. Just a pencil drawing on sketchbook paper. Whatever else Lina was, she was a good artist. It looked just like me.

I still have it, btw, it really good piece of art.

(I didn't have to worry about it staining my reputation, I was already known as being too kind for my own good. It's really not that hard to get a nice girl reputation.)

Anyways, I have been told that this was an asshole move when I tell this story. I don't think it was and I don't regret it, but other people seem to think it was excessive. When I think back to how much more CONFIDENT Wendy was by the time we graduated, and how she went on to an Ivy League college, I'm glad I ruined her sister's social life. Lina was so stressed out that she couldn't even TRY to harrass Wendy. And if she HAD tried, Lina would have had the student body at her throat. I didn't just ruin Lina, I also helped Wendy gain her footing in a new school.

Anyways, WAS I the asshole for ruining her? Or were my actions just?

[skrrts]

Home Is ✧ hongjoong version (oneshot)

✧ gn!reader x kim hongjoong ✧ genre: non-idol, slice of life, fluff, romance ✧ word count: 1,1k

You have found the love of your life, and now the two of you are ready for the next step in your relationship: moving together. Neither of you can wait to finally be able to spend every day together but it's out of the question ... the whole progress looks a lot more casual and aesthetical on social media than it actually is. Chaos. In the middle of the chaos that is moving in, Hongjoong wants you to enjoy this. Moving shouldn't only be an exhausting memory but something you enjoy. He makes you take a break & you make something for your new home together.

a/n: this wraps up my friday mini series for September. thanks a lot to everyone who has been reading along. i figured concluding it with hongjoong is a fun idea, he's definitely enjoying the progress and it takes all longer but is more fun.

The entire apartment was a mess. Unopened and half-emptied boxes were everywhere, items scattered over the floor, or just placed on top of stored furniture in between made-up couches and a mattress that served as a bed. When Hongjoong and you decided to move together, everything seemed perfect until it wasn't. The promised renovation took longer than scheduled and instead of having time to paint walls and slowly set up furniture, two apartments needed to be emptied for the new tenants within just a few days. Now bedroom and living room were shoved into the atelier so that you could slowly work on painting the walls.

Your mood had taken a toll and you admired your boyfriend, who still looked prettily cute and content while you had no idea where to start or finish for the day. You were thankful for his encouragement for you to go and pick up your dinner for the night, walks always calmed your mind. By the time you came back, you were already feeling better.

You were met by the familiar smell of fresh paintings. Honestly, back in high school you never expected to fall in love with a painter but here you were, in your first shared apartment that also included an atelier.

Hongjoong had moved a few of the boxes together, a plastic tablecloth on top with a large variety of colors prepared from bright to neon and pastels. There were cups of water, pencils and a small pile of canvases.

"This doesn't look like dinner," you teased, his smile growing instantly as he got up to kiss you. "I thought, since we ordered salad anyway, it could wait.- It was a stressful weekend and you deserve some relaxation and fun." Says the one having the time of his life painting the walls in the most stunning gradients by hand.

"Is that so?" you smiled, placing the food aside so he could tug you into a hug, foreheads resting together: "I also really wanted to do something special so we always would remember this first time together."

Hongjoong always was like this, excited and optimistic, trying to make the most out of anything and always looking out to cheer you up. One of the many qualities why you fell for him.

"That sounds perfect," you whispered, a final kiss was placed before he led you over and you sat down on one side of the table. "Now then, what should we paint?"

He was smiling his cute smile, the one that showed he was really excited about doing this with you, making a special memory together. "Anything! Well, I want to put it in the small spot in the living room. You know, the one where you noted we still haven't picked anything. And no, you aren't allowed to worry, just have fun. Pick any color you want! Those are my leftovers and I really need to finish them so we also do something good."

Hongjoong was very dedicated to his art, the joy of painting but also not to waste anything. He was very content to use every last drop of paint before buying a new one.

"Alright, let's do this," you chuckled. It felt a little surreal how you were sitting in such a mess but you tried to focus. The image that came to mind first was how your living room would look like when all was set up. There was a tiny balcony and you got a new couch, some messy curtains with a pattern Hongjoong chose, and bold pillows.

It was nice to imagine what the result would be, like recharging the stress of the past few days. Once you decided what to go for, the rest was easy. You were the type to get lost in whatever you were doing. Making a few rough sketches then trying colors on spare paper.

For a while, it seemed Hongjoong was doing the same but by the time you were half way done, the soft click of his camera made you look up, blushing.

"Hey!"

he chuckled sweetly, looking innocent as he rushed to place the phone back down on the table. "Couldn't resist, you are just so cute when you are all lost in progressing."

He was right but you were still pouting: "Sush! You should rather finish your painting." Hongjoong smirked, showing you his already completed free-style art, it was beautiful but you got shy because it was a version of you, here and now.

"Cheating," you mumbled, your cheeks just more red as you cleared your throat. "How about you help me then?" Hongjoong smiled brightly, it was one of the happiest looks you had seen him with and he stood up, sitting behind you, partly pulling you onto his lap.

"I can't wait, our home. Our own little happy place," he whispered, pressing a kiss on your cheek before taking a spare pencil and helping you finish your painting. By the time you finished, you couldn't deny how relaxed you felt.

Hongjoong's arms curled around your waist as you relaxed back against him, your eyes closed when he just held you like that. "This is nice," you admitted. I feel, living with you really won't ever be boring."

Your boyfriend chuckled: "Well, it surely will be a little chaotic but I am your favorite chaos after all."

So silly!

Hongjoong bit his lip, he looked at you and when your gazes met, there was no denying there were many more thoughts but those were kept for another day.

"Dating, moving together... don't care where exactly the journey will take us but meeting you, it has been my best adventure... And always will be my favorite."

You poked his cheek but smiled: "And now you are all sappy. Feel my heartbeat? Always all wild for you."

The man grinned as he finally slowly stood up, your eyes wandered over the mess that was just in every part of your new home. "Quite a bit of work to do," he sighed, pushing brown hair back: "But for today, I think we did enough. Let me put our artwork aside and clean up, then we can eat."

You gave him a quick nod, wiggling your hands covered in dried paint. "I will clean those."

Hongjoong nodded and started to carefully put the painting tool in a bowl to clean it, as you stopped in the door, you looked at him, adoring, loving.

You really were lucky, chaos or not. This home was your dream come true, always wishing to move together with whoever the love of your life would be and you did quite a good pull with this one, right?

"Joong, you know... after we ate, maybe we should properly test out our big new bathtub," you grinned. His cheeks flushed when he looked up, mumbling something.

This time you laughed: "Leave it to me, I will prepare it."

Hongjoong rolled his eyes as the two of you smiled at one another. Now, you were both home.

[taigarrryen]

-> The Paper Art Post <-

Let's make some Wild Life ep.3 snails together!

First of all, I make a sketch (usually it's already the size I want the final thing to be, because I'm a very lazy person).

At the point where everything is apparent enough to have a clear vision in mind, I go to my paper scrap drawer and think of what colors and textures I want to use (although sometimes I initially start from the color palette).

Here they are! But don't get too attached, we're gonna destroy them later >:)

And while we're on it, let's talk a bit about textures!

Textures are like candy for our eyes. They are an easy way to trick your brain into thinking that something is more detailed than it actually is, hence it adds interest and makes the whole piece fun to look at.

However, this is also why it's important not to overuse them — it's easy to get lost in the details and accidentally make your piece difficult to perceive as a whole.

You can make textured paper yourself using literally anything you can come up with: paint a sheet of paper with gouache or tempera, make swirls and gradients with watercolor or inc, scribble with colored pencils, make prints with various objects (I enjoy making prints of crumpled paper tissues soaked in ink), etc etc. Packaging film or candy wrapping also can be cool.

My only advice is be careful if you use gouache: some colors can make your fingers messy even after completely drying, so that has to be kept in mind to avoid accidentally leaving a dirty fingerprint somewhere you didn't plan for it to be.

For the tools I recommend using not only scissors, but a modeling knife/scalpel and an awl as well. Modeling knife makes cutting small things much easier, and awl comes in handy when you want to transfer a detail on paper but don't want to use pencil.

For gluing stuff I use gluestick, rubber glue and double-sided tape.

Now the fun part!

You can add details with colored pencils and markers ↑

As you can see, the process is pretty simple: I cut the piece I need from the sketch and transfer it to colored paper.

When it comes to assembling pieces, you can carefully cut them so that everything fits together like a puzzle, or simply glue them on top of eachother.

Keep the scraps (unless they're objectively tiny, of course)! You never know when you'll want just that amount of just that color or texture. It's also much more practical to cut new details from the side of the sheet from which you have already cut, rather than start from different edge every time you need a piece of that color.

Don't rush to glue things down! Along the way you might want to move something a bit or put one piece under another, and with quickly gluing everything it won't be possible. I like to work in big parts, making every object or character in the picture first and then, after putting them on their places and fumbling around, gradually assemble everything like lego.

Here are two parts of the picture (Bdubs' snail + Tango&Etho's snails) and a piece of red film I want to put on the background in some places. All that's left is to assemble everything by carefully gluing it on to my sketchbook page :)

You also can elevate certain parts of your artwork to create depth and areas of interest, using puffy tape or п-shaped / [-shaped piece of paper and glue. It looks really cool, but I usually don't do that because it's inconvenient for me to store & I like to keep everything in the sketchbooks.

TA-DAAA, we're done! The best thing about this technique is that you don't have to be good at actually drawing to make something that looks interesting!

Hope this post was useful and you've got inspired to try paper art for yourself! (And if you did — send me your art in ask box or replies, I'll be very glad to see it :] )

[fantasy-anatomy-analyst]

Creature Design: where to begin?

(image description: drawing with the title "creature design: where do I even start?" over two messy sketches of an elf with a monkey tail and a flying lizard with pterosaur wings. end description)

So you want to make cool fantasy creatures or people but you haven't the first clue where to start! I may not be the best at explaining this process because I just sort of come up with an idea and start drawing, my process is very quick and heavily influenced by the fact that I've been drawing since I was a small child and building my fantasy world and stories since I was like twelve. So for me, a lot of this is really intuitive and I don't know how to fully describe each step.

The honest truth people may not want to hear is that you'll get better at figuring out your designs if you just spend a lot of time doing art studies of real things and a lot of time making messy messy sketches from your own mind. take a pile of paper and a cheap pencil and fill those pages with scribbles that vaguely resemble creatures and people. don't worry about making things look nice. you've got to be comfortable with mess.

and I do mean it about the studying. Whether you're going for a cartoon style or a realistic one, it's hard to create new creature designs if you're not familiar with the shape and movement of real animals. trace studies are fine! nothing wrong with it. I do it all the time. gather some photos and trace out the loose shapes as well as the important details, then draw it again without tracing. rinse and repeat. this is how you get better at drawing with variety instead of getting yourself stuck on a handful of things you're confident with.

basic art practices are essential if you want to create unique designs.

but with that little caveat out of the way, let's talk about the creature design process!

step one: well if you want to design anything, you need to start with an idea!

(image description: several messy simple sketches of different fantasy designs. there is a dainty fairy, an orc with a pig snout, a bird with a bald head, and a long skinny flying fish creature. the image is also titled "step one: what do you want?" with a list of ideas below that says "redesigns. filling a niche. narrative purpose. just fun. etc." end description)

in other words, what are you hoping to accomplish by making a design? is it part of a larger project or just a little one-off idea? do you want to make your own version of a common fantasy creature, or do you want to make something totally new? You don't need to answer every detail right away, but you have to come up with a starting point. For this post, I'm creating a unicorn design. The world I've built has a lot of fantasy people and their cultures are pretty well fleshed out. But I really haven't done much to add unique fantasy animals to the setting! Certainly not any that can actually use magic. and my very first baby ideas about fantasy were so very deeply focused on unicorns, I owe it to my childhood self to have some unicorns in this world.

it's a long post, so the rest is under a cut. Next step is gather references and start doodling.

(image description: three collections of sketches. the first image bears the title "step two: sketches and studies." below the title is a compilation of white tailed deer photos with lowered opacity and red sketch lines traced over them to mark the forms of their body parts. next to this are a few white and blue sketches of deer-like unicorns, with a focus on their head shape and how their singular antler is positioned. the second image is another photo compilation with traced sketches over top, this time of several even toed ungulates. there are a few deer, a mountain goat, and a pronghorn gazelle. the final image shows a few sketches of a deer-like unicorn in different positions, with a close up on one unicorn's head with the antler only being a lump under the skin. these unicorns have long legs and very narrow faces with a singular forked antler on their foreheads. they also have a fluffy dewlap under their lower jaw. end description.)

I decided to go with a deer unicorn because I've already established that my main setting has elk! I did explore the idea of going in the direction of mountain goats or some form of other antelope or gazelle, with a focus only on things native to the americas, but ultimately I went with the deer. However, I don't want these unicorns to just look exactly like any real deer species but with one antler instead of two. I want them to look like their own unique species of deer. By doing study sketches of multiple deer species as well as other animals in the same general category, I get a better sense of the common body and head shapes, how the limbs move, and what I can change to create a unicorn that looks like a deer while still being its own new thing.

step three is to just flesh out the details! ask some questions about your creature. how do they fit in your setting? how do they interact with other living things? what are some details that make them look unique?

(image description: sketches of three deer-like unicorns. a male with a more elaborate forked antler and fuzzy dewlap, a female with an extra fluffy tail and a smaller antler that has no forks, and a baby with no antler at all. above the sketches is the title "step 3: work on details." and below this is a list of traits: "males have more elaborate antlers. capable of manipulating magic energy. smaller species of deer. versatile, adapted for many environments. often mingle with other deer." end description.)

Like the unicorns of many real life myths, I've decided these ones use their heightened intelligence and ability to manipulate magic as a way to guard the environment they live in. They're not sapient beings, but those who study magic in the world I've written are very interested in studying how unicorns use magic. Does magic ability grant sapience? or is magic ability gained as a side effect of becoming sapient? it's an important and fascinating question.

Unicorns tend to travel in very small groups and hide among herds of larger deer, using their magic abilities to sense danger and warn the herd of predators. they cannot perform all the effects of people magic, only using their natural behaviors to cause small effects. But their abilities are still quite impressive and tell a lot about the development of magical skills. Their abilities seem to confirm that spoken magic is the most primal form of magic, as they have a complex set of vocalizations that accompany their use of magic.

The effects they can cause seem to include a ripple effect in the air, akin to the heat waves that cause illusions, and a quick flash effect from their antlers, not unlike the glow created by runes. This flash effect is very fast and not terribly bright, but it's enough to startle other animals and hunters who don't expect it. this is perhaps the most intriguing of their abilities, as no people group has figured out how to replicate it. there may be other magical effects and abilities in the uicorn's arsenal, but it's difficult to document or understand them all, especially if some of those effects are more internal and not easily noticed from an outside perspective.

(image description: painting of a deer-like unicorn leaping through a grassy field. its long fluffy tail is curled up in warning and its forked antler is emitting a light. the unicorn's fur is a pale golden red with dark brown tips on the tail, ears, feet, and nose, as well as a dark stripe between the eye and nose. the lower part of its face, neck, belly, tail, and the inside of its ears are all white, along with a white stripe from its neck to its flank. end description.)

I hope you enjoyed this little design journey! I really did sit down and do the unicorn design today, and I came up with most of the worldbuilding details for it as I was writing this post! I can do this very quickly because I've been doing it for years, so don't be discouraged thinking you're bad at it if it takes you longer. I also could spend a lot more time working on the details and especially figuring out that antler shape and the coloration of its fur, because I am not fully committed to them yet! this is like a first draft.

you might go through several designs for something before you nail down a version that satisfies your goals! you might also get really far in the process and start to hate it and decide to start over. these are normal obstacles! wrestling with your ideas is rough, but it can also lead to more ideas! and the next thing you know, you've got an entire world of complex characters and fictional cultures and you're not really sure how you got there, but by golly are you going to run with it.

have fun!

[amustikas]

hi!!! <3 I love your art so much <3 your style is soo good, especially your coloring, it's so pleasant to look at <3 also, mind if I ask what kind of software and brushes do you use? The texture of the sketches, lineart etc. look so nice and I was wondering if there's something like that it Photoshop. Have a great day! <3

Hello!! Thank you for your sweet words!! <3

I work on procreate and mostly just use these two basic ah default brushes. I am sure photoshop equivalents exist for both of them out there somewhere!

And since I work a lot with these two I thought I would give ya some extra insight into how exactly I put them to use :)

The 6B Pencil brush has got to be my all time favourite brush and I use it for literally everything!

From rough sketches..

to lineart..

to colouring and details.

This brush is quite pressure sensitive, so you can achieve many different variations of size in one stroke by changing the amount of pressure you apply by hand. Through it all, it maintains it's relatively rectangular shape and brings with it soft grain like texture.

Come to think of it, I think I drew this whole next piece with only the 6B Pencil, start to finish. I think it really goes to show that in the end, it's not really about what brushes or software you use, but about how you make them work for you and how much fun you have while creating. I find that the drawings I have the most fun with end up being my favourites in the long run.

And to me, the 6B is just a damn fun brush to use!

It is perfect for adding silly little shapes and lines all over the place :)

And the other brush I find myself coming back to is Salamanca from the Painting category.

I use it for filling in bigger areas of colour and just colour blocking in general. I like it's subtle canvas texture and the fact that it is not entirely opaque by default, which allows for interesting variations of hues.

But that is not all! I like to size it down to use it to add details and colour to my portraits. I find that it's softness works really well on faces and it's transparency makes it easier to bring in variations of colour.

And would you look at that! More shapes and lines! It's really all I know how to do haha

At the end of the day, I try to just enjoy the process of drawing as much as I can :)

I find that young digital artists often put a lot of emphasis onto finding the correct drawing software and brushes. And while that is important, I find that it is equally as important to throw caution to the wind sometimes and to just try out new things and to not care so much.

I mean hell, people create masterpieces in MS Paint!

My drawing process usually boils down to simply trying to ensure art stays something fun for me, and these two brushes have helped me achieve that over the years.

Hope this has been some help and not all pure gibberish!

[malacandrax]

I'm procrastinating starting my new sketchbook by talking about my sketchbooks, since I just compiled the latest volume (see this post for info)

The sketchbook I'm procrastinating is #29!- I started numbering them the summer before university (2012), since that's when I got more serious about improving my art. I love getting to take photos of them all together, and honestly getting to pull out my monstrous sticker collection when I decorate a new one is my favourite thing. (I actually took a break from 2017-2020 where I did everything digitally so theres a gap, alas :')

I included a pic of sketchbook #1 for anyone interested in what my art was like in the early books, I would have been 18 then! (I'm 31 now). My tumblr archive does actually go all the way back to then... yikes. I did keep sketchbooks before then, but I had like 4 at once for different purposes (one was for...copying manga...)

A lot of the early sketchbooks I bound myself using old national geographic pics (#5+6), or old books who's insides I pulled out and replaced (#8+9). I also used my friends handmade sketchbooks -#3 and #22!

These days I do most of my stuff on the computer, so they're pretty heavy on studies and fun doodles as opposed to art that I share, but I still love to keep one. They act as little diaries to places I've been or what I was doing that day.

Currently my fav sketchbook is the daler rowney ebony- it takes most mediums pretty well, tho I took a risk for my new one and got a shockingly expensive pith sketchbook- which turns out is too big for my scanner...........BUT it's coptic bound (like my friends, nudge nudge haha) which means it'll lay flat and hopefully rub my pencil sketches less than a ringbound!

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Oh these two idiots are both so gone.

Ooh, "creating art is about exploring what you like" is a nice line. So often we put too much into feeling like creativity has to end up with a good product, and less about what it can teach us about ourselves.

I like how this show talks about art. And New is making it so clear here that he does put a part of himself in all of his shows, whatever people might think. Respect.

And we're normalizing taking breaks and that you can't be productive and creative all the time! Fabulous.

We love a queen who makes the most of her background time.

I mean, valid question Peem, but also - pot, kettle, etc, etc.

Oh god, their actual boyfriend era is going to end me.

You know what I really love about this Phum/Peem scene? They're making it clear that mutual attraction is just one piece of the relationship puzzle. But the friendship still needs to be there, the caring when someone is having a bad day, and being there to pick them up. So many BLs gloss over the mutual support part of romantic relationships in favor of the swoony bits, but this is the kind of thing that makes a couple seem likely to actually last.

Also what does it say about BLs that I was so relieved they actually rolled up their pant legs at the pool? (Of course they still end up wet in the end, but it's the principle of the thing!)

Phum is just 100% always thirsty for Peem and I respect it.

Haha, love Q being all "hands off my baby, stat".

And they're communicating so openly! My sweeties.

Omg, omg, Fang trying to teach himself to express tenderness to Tan, I cannot.

Just go slow Fang, or you may kill this man with happiness!

Aaaaaah, not Pun finding a little bird and wanting to help it, going to Chain (of course), AND naming it Penguin.

I am already at lethal levels of cuteness overload, and we haven't even gotten to the FangTan scene yet.

Staawwwp.

Lolol, of course he got sick, he got wet for 30 seconds. But again we get the subversion, we're paying tribute to the sick trope, but not fully engaging! Heh, this show is so fun.

Has anyone else noticed the slight tone shift for Phum when he's talking to Peem? There's a new softness to it and it's adorable.

Toey, no, no crying wolf to your boyfriend!

But the pencil case thing is adorable.

I think the Peem and Q friendship chemistry might be my favorite in the whole show.

Lol, not Peem letting slip he slept with Phum last night!

Beer, you are such a champion. Good wingmanning, while also not excusing Phum's bad behaviors.

Oh, baby Phum being sent away, that's heart-breaking. No wonder he has walls like that.

I am loving these reveals with Fang. He's such an internal character, so we are unpeeling the layers slowly. But seeing how annoyed he is to not be able to reach Tan, and how fast Tan is able to make him smile again, makes it so clear how much he really needs him.

And the way he smiles so big when he thinks no one can see, but goes right back to pouty face with Tan because it gets him the attention he craves...

Whoever dressed Q for this series, I love you.

Phum going from self-doubt to full steam ahead the moment he gets reassurance his feelings are returned is delightful to see.

Omg, domestic Fang and Tan. But also Fang, you can learn to cook other things, y'know?

Lolol, Fang absolutely loves Tan's antics, it's so freaking adorable.

Aou and Boom always frickin bring it, we thank you for your service boys.

Also more trope play! Tan holding Fang down in the cliche way, but Fang still showing agency and not playing the blushing maiden. Perfect.

Ok, I liked the Kluen scene. He's being shown as a real person with a life of his own, he's not just the "rival". And Peem is being more straightforward with him.

Hahaha, Chain short-circuiting more and more as Pun gets closer.

MATT, WHAT THE HELL?! You do not interfere with my crumbs, dammit!!

Omg, not Chain just blurting out that he likes being shipped with Pun.

I love that everyone is shocked by Phum except for Beer, who is just like "yup".

I do typically hate public declarations, but I will let it go here, because the friend group is the key to the whole series.

Also, Pun is drunk again, so Chain better be ready for some biting! Chomp, chomp.

[bloobydabloob]

Howdy! If you don't mind me asking, what art program do you use and what art supplies are your go to?

What up, thanks for the baby Dirk image. Yeah… I can tell you my secrets. Come here.

You are in luck considering everything I use to make art is either free (provided you already have like a computer) or very cheap. I don’t buy art supplies ever.

For digital art, I use whatever the newest version of firealpaca is. I just update it whenever a new one drops. If you don’t have a PC, it is also basically available on mobile as “MediBang paint”. I have a separate post on here regarding the specific brushes I use on the app if you want to know that either. Just look on my #ask tag. I think it’s in there.

For traditional art, genuinely I cannot recommend you anything in particular because I only have literally just the cheapest materials I could buy, they aren’t even branded for the most part. It’s all like normal pencils from corner stores near me & kid’s coloring pencils / pens I got as gifts when I was maybe 10.

I like this pencil though. I don’t know what it is but get the red pencils. They are so so good.

I draw on normal paper and I don’t know, I just cut and stick a bunch of stuff and try and have fun and use different materials. I’ve been trying out pastels too but they are also just ordinary pastels.

Hope this helps in… any way. I don’t really have that much advice for art regarding what you use to make it because I don’t think it really matters. Genuinely anything will work, don’t ever think you need fancy things or whatever. Have fun.

[amethystfairy1]

I’ve just read your latest TT fic with Pearl and Gem at the seaside, and it got me wondering whether you’ve ever sketched out a rough map of the old continent? I know that all of the different groups are heading north to the mountains, and the elves’ land and the free hybrid cities are beyond those, but where is the coastline in relation to that? And also, is this the same part of the sea that the mer like Scott come from?

Love all your fics, and looking forward to your next treebark update!!

I have done a map before! I posted it here to tumblr a few months ago so it's probably buried away in the depths of my ask responses 😆 But to be honest, I've done a lot more thinking about where Traveling Thieves is headed and how this AU is gonna work as we move further North, so actually some things on that map have changed. That's fun of writing fanfic online installment by installment, right? I can change things! So I made a new map!

Brace yourself for my lack of art skills.

...can you tell I don't use my apple pencil for drawing? 😅

But yeah, here ya go! If there's anything else you wanna know more specifically about to do with where things are are this map, or there's something you really want me to add to it, shoot me an ask! I can add it in if I have a think on it, I'm sure! 💖

[cheresha]

While I was working on my last drawing I thought it would be fun to make a post explaining my process like the one I did for my digital art! This is mostly an excuse to gush about copic markers because they are my absolute favorite medium and I feel like working with them has helped me improve a lot in a short period of time! It's also really fun to take something that isn't made for realism and try to adapt it to my style.

This is in no way a tutorial because I still have a lot to learn and improve upon but I will be sharing some tips that have made my drawing process way easier!

I'm putting the rest under a read more because I'll probably end up writing a novel length post lmao

Now, let's start from the basics - this is the sketchbook I use because it's made for markers and allows you to blend the colors smoothly while giving you a glossy finish.

Please ignore its sorry state, it's relatively new but it fell apart almost immediately 🙄 Not to sound like a grumpy old person but my old one I got a few years ago was of much better quality but it is what it is I guess. I'll still continue using it because it's still the best I've tried. It's also really good for color pencils.

Moving on to the markers - I have quite a few, mostly skin tones and pinks because that's what I need for the result I'm looking to achieve but if you're just starting or are not interested in drawing realistic portraits, this set is pretty much all you need to draw people and you can get whichever other colors you see fit. I have a few bright colors I use mostly for backgrounds.

About the price - they are expensive, yes, but if you are like me and use them 2-3 times a month they can last for a really long time. The one I use the most lasted me for over 1 year so in my opinion they are worth giving a try if you have the budget for them, especially because you can easily mix the colors to create new shades instead of buying new markers.

Moving on to the process itself - I try to make my drawings relatively small, as you can see here.

That's because copic markers dry really fast and you have to work quickly if you want your colors to blend properly 🥲 The smaller the drawing, the easier your life will be (his right arm was pretty stressful to draw ngl). Also since the paper is really thin be careful with your eraser because if you damage it, the marker ink will turn that spot into a weird looking splotch that you won't be able to fix 🥲

I have to admit that lineart is not my favorite thing to draw because I have shaky hands and tend to make mistakes but I think it makes my drawings look better so I try my best to practice more and always do warmups before I start. I got these fineliners from my local art supply store and like them quite a lot since they don't smudge easily. I use the 0,2 one for the drawing itself and the 0,5 one for the 'frame'. I like to wait for at least 30 minutes for my lineart to dry before I start coloring. Also, most of the time I don't ink the eyebrows at this point but prefer to draw them on after I'm done with the rest of the face because I will go over them so many times with my markers that I might end up smudging them pretty badly.

After my lineart has dried, I like to get the background done first because if I leave it for last, it can smudge the hair and stain my marker which will alter its color and that annoys me a lot even though it's fixable. Also, this is probably the only time I use the broad tip of the marker because it's perfect for bigger areas. Otherwise it's not very precise so I use the bush tip for everything else. I usually go over the background twice to make sure it looks as smooth as possible.

Okay, moving on to the face! I like to start from the midtones because it helps give structure to the face from the very beginning. After that I go in with the palest shade I have - pale fruit pink (E000). I use it mostly for blending and for the highlights since it's barely visible and really helps you achieve a smooth look. I like it way more than the clear one they sell specifically for blending, it's such a waste of money and leaves weird discolored spots all over your drawing 🙄

Here we make a pretty big time jump because I was fighting for my life (trying to blend the shadows). I recently got the cool brown (E71) and love it so much, it's perfect for the darker areas, also the hair and eyes! But you can achieve a pretty similar color if you go over E11 or E93 with BV31, I use it a lot because it makes the transition between the different shades way smoother and I feel like it gives extra depth to the face!

And the rest of his face is done! For some reason mixing a decent lip color is not easy for me because they tend to end up looking really cartoonish/unnatural but I feel like these 3 colors gave me a pretty okay result! Fortunately his eyebrow turned out okay too, I went in with the cool brown (E71) first a couple of times to establish the basic shape and later added the eyebrow hairs with the 0,2 fineliner.

I used the same colors and technique for his neck - nothing new to add here.

Same with his arm, except I used only the lavender color for the darkest parts - you can't really see it from the picture but irl it looks almost the same as the cool brown.

Time for the hair! This is probably where I need to improve the most since it always looks the most cartoonish out of the whole drawing and it really doesn't look that good compared to the more realistic skin. Black hair is especially difficult for me since you can't really blend the black marker and trying to go over it does nothing but stain my lighter markers. That's why currently I start from my higlight color - it also doesn't have to look neat since it will get covered by the black later and the uneven strokes help add some depth to the finished hair :))

I think I did a decent job overall and going over some of the highlights with this darker gray helped, too. Sometimes I like using a white pen to add a few more details but here I decided against it since I wanted to keep things simple.

I loooove adding stray hairs but I think I went a bit overboard here ahah I also need to get a 0,1 fineliner for them since this one seems a bit too thick.

As I mentioned before, his other arm was pretty hard because I had to work extra fast but I ended up liking how it turned out! I especially love drawing the small details on the hands so I had lots of fun, too. Also, I used the same colors for his pants minus the pinkish one (E93).

And now it's time for the final boss - the cardigan. I've never drawn such a detailed outfit before but it was pretty simple in terms of colors so it wasn't that difficult in the end and I got to practice drawing two very different types of fabric. I also forgot to add it here but I went over these 2 colors with a light warm gray (W-1) a couple of times to give it a softer look.

Here's the finished cardigan - I also added the black details with my marker instead of a fineliner because I didn't want it to look too precise/neat.

I also added the shadows under him with these 2 colors.

And finally I used these 2 for the sheets!

Thank you for reading this whole thing (if you're here you deserve a prize fr), I love talking about markers sm so if there's anything else you're curious about please don't hesitate to let me know!

[frankiesmileshow]

Hi! I'm a new fan of your work and I'm interested in starting pixel art. I would love your advice! Could you recommend some tips for a beginner like me? Tks!

Advice for getting into pixel art:

1- Use a program meant for pixel art like Aseprite (the one I use now, about 30 USD$) or Graphicsgale (the one I used before, its free) , not a general-use image editor or a digital painting program.

You dont need a tablet to do pixel art, I only draw with a 10$ optical mouse, but if youre already used to drawing with a tablet, then go ahead; many people draw pixel art with those.

2- Start small. Think NES and the like, where there aren't many pixels or colors to work with.

Take screenshots or sprite sheets from NES games or Sega Genesis games (find these on https://www.spriters-resource.com/ ) , and edit them, or try adding things to them using the same colors already in the image.

I used to run a little weekly activity on my live stream where we took screenshots from old NES games and modified them for fun. The appeal is that it gives you a limited set of colors and a bunch of examples of how to use them, so it helps you learn to make color choices.

3- If you don't already draw by hand or digitally, start drawing. Get into the habit of sketching and drawing.

Try to do it every day if you can, even if its not a lot of time, and even if youre not very good. Maybe get a drawing pad and carry it around with you if you can, so you can doodle in it whenever you have time.

The skill you will develop drawing on paper will help you grow much faster as a pixel artist.

This is because sketching on paper is very fast, you can sketch ten different things in a few minutes with a pencil. But pixel art, when you are starting out, is very slow. This also makes it slow to learn, unfortunately. So getting into pencil drawing or digital painting will help speed things up.

I got a drawing pad in college and used to draw in the bus, two 30 minute rides every day for a few years really helped me improve.

4- Join a community of pixel artists, that can be motivating to get into art, they might have events and things that could give you prompts to draw and feedback.

5- Be careful about posture when drawing, you can mess up your arm and your back after a few years of furious clicking while leaning forward or slouching. Learn to move your whole arm from the elbow instead of moving just your wrist.

Good luck!

[gamesception]

Sception Reads Cass Cain #32

Batgirl (2000) #14 writer: Puckett pencils: Scott

Different inker this time, John Lowe instead of Campanella. I'm not enough of a connoisseur of comic art to really notice the difference. Honestly, I've been favoring pencil art in this series in general and not really mentioning inker & colorist. Should I be crediting/calling those out specifically? Let me know.

Anyway, we're back to the main series. Last time Cass was riding high after saving a repentant assassin from government agents. It fit more or less right in with the sort of one shot story we've seen a few times in her series, so there really wasn't a reason to expect any follow up from it, though the tone was a notable break from the usual Batgirl benchmark somewhere between sombre and miserable. This time is a return to form.

Before we get into the issue, that note about the tone does tie into that DCWomenKickingAss post that's been making the rounds again recently (link), the one with the interview with Scott Peterson where he describes the original instructions he gave to Kelley Puckett for designing the new batgirl as:

“Hey, new Batgirl. Young–late teens, I think–and Asian. And cheerful and chipper and always up and good natured and she has a complete and total death wish.”

As much as the Cass we got ended up being my favorite comic character ever, it's unfortunate that the 'cheerful, chipper' aspect - which is definitely there in the character, I've talked in previous posts about how much she loves being Batgirl and how critical that is to her character and to the overall themes of the book - is rarely the dominant tone of her ongoing. The quote from Puckett above implies book that on the surface is bright and cheerful, with a subversive undercurrent that fades into the background only to rear up and slap you in the face unexpectedly, where as what we got is an unrelenting 'long darkness of the soul' situation, punctuated by brief flashes of light that more often than not turn out to be the headlights of an oncoming train.

Which brings us back to the current issue.

We start with some government suits watching video of Cass and debating whether she's a metahuman or not, before being surprised by the fact that they have no matching info for her. Still pretty fun and lighthearted, but it does establish the idea that these guys are going to be a problem.

we also re-do the goodbye scene from the end of last issue...

Only this this time Puckett adds this bit where the assassin realizes he'll never get to see his family again, dampening the mood, setting up for what happens to him later, but also putting this divide between himself and Cass. Last time this guy could be read as a sort of self-surrogate for her, someone parallel to her situation as a former assassin, and by saving him Cass was sort of getting the chance to save herself.

Here, though, the guy establishes himself, however briefly, as his own person, with a life and a family. All the things that Cass's unique history and circumstances have denied her.

Things that Barbara is extremely concerned that Cass may have permanently cut herself off from ever having in the future by letting herself be recorded by the government outside of costume.

Cass, of course, can't imagine a future for herself. Because she's going to die within the year when Shiva returns. And because she doesn't want to be anything other than Batgirl. But mostly because deep down she doesn't believe she deserves a life or a future, and doesn't want to think about why that is.

As it is, Cass doesn't think she has any connections, so isn't afraid of losing them.

Bab's dialog implies that she's going to go to Bruce about this thinking maybe he could get through to her, but Bruce, consciously or otherwise, has been actively isolating Cass, so can he really be counted on to prevent her from isolating herself even further?

There's this transition page where Cass wakes up to find Bruce instead of Oracle in the Tower. I don't talk about color much, but Jason Wright does a good job here, the colors not just conveying a transition to night but also the switch to a darker emotional and narrative tone, despite still being all smiles, not knowing what happened.

Just like John way back in issue two, we have another guy who Cass thought she had saved, and let herself feel happy about, only to find out that the villains had come back for them later. And once again it's a pretty gut wrenching twist.

Cass asks Bruce's permission to hurt these people, not just take them down and capture them, but to personally punish them, and he grants it, which is a pretty gross dynamic all round.

Remember this bit from issue 4, when Bruce is talking about how 'perfect' Batgirl was?

Better even than himself, not just as a matter of skill, but more importantly for how she was untainted by any excess cruelty. It's why he was so shocked to find out she might have killed someone, despite knowing Cain had trained her from birth to do just that. It wasn't something that the Cassandra the he knew was capable of. But a few short months working for Batman and...

This isn't 'gentle'. This isn't someone you'd be shocked to find out had killed someone.

Remember this bit from issue 4? Bruce all high and mighty about what David Cain did to Cass. But for all the painful and potentially lethal extremes of his training regimen, and for all the evil he intended her to do, David raised a girl who, once she understood what killing was, chose to abandon her life and her father - despite loving both - rather than kill again.

A few months exposure to Bruce is eroding away the humanity and compassion that compelled her to seek atonement in the first place.

Bruce, his methods, the way he treats his friends and family, he's actively making Cassandra worse.

On the way home Bruce says he's sorry, but it's about what happened to the assassin, he's not sorry for what he's doing to Cassandra himself, what he's taking from her. He's not even done taking things from her this issue, as he doesn't take her back to the clocktower.

Of course. Of course he's fine with throwing away even the possibility of a future independent of him and his mission. You can just imagine how the conversation with Babs went too, at first trying to appeal on Cass's behalf, Bruce just not getting it, switching to practical threats to the mission, how Cass's exposure potentially exposes Oracle, in the hope that he'll respond to that - only for Bruce to respond by taking Cass away entirely, severing the one lonely link to someone who at least tries to care about her as a person in her own right.

When Babs was trying to appeal to Cass earlier, she brushed her off, convinced that she didn't have anything to lose anyway. You can feel the realization dawning on her that yeah, she really did have something to lose.

And the issue ends with this panel that makes her tiny to emphasize how completely isolated she is now.

This issue is a major emotional low point in Cass's early series, maybe *the* major low point. Bruce at his worst, Cass at her most alone.

Things will slowly improve from here, though sadly never in quite the way they needed to, with a direct confrontation of Bruce himself.

[arlana-likes-to-write]

Second Chance - Chapter 3

Masterlist 

Warning: mention of blip, death, life support, jealousy, panic attack 

Word Count: 3.9 k

So the problem with taking a long nap, it was hard to fall asleep. It also didn’t help that your stomach was a little upset from dinner. FRIDAY informed you that the common floor had ginger ale and crackers. You sat on the couch with your sketchbook on your lap and crackers next to you. You preferred drawing comics or line art, realism wasn’t your thing. But drawing portraits of people helped you remember them and the memories. You were drawing your mom when she was in the courtroom. It was rare that she let you come with her and watch her do her thing. She was afraid that you were going to be a target if people connected you to her. 

You missed her so much and you wished she was here to help you through this. When the doctors came into her room at the hospital and told you your options, it was the hardest decision you had to make. But you knew your mom better than anyone, she was your best friend, and you knew she wouldn’t want to be in a vegetative state. So, she was taken off life support and her organs were donated to help save lives. You whipped a tear from your eye before it fell onto your sketchbook. “Why are you crying in the dark?” A voice laced with a Russian accent asked. You jumped, not expecting a voice. In front of you was a blonde-haired girl wearing sweatpants and a SHIELD training shirt. She was fresh out of a shower; her hair was damp and braided. 

“Maybe because I don’t like crying when it’s bright outside,” she shrugged and made her way to the kitchen. You spun around to lean on the back of the couch. The blonde was taking out the leftovers from dinner. “Who are you?” If you were to make an educated guess, she was related to Natasha in some way. 

“Your Stark’s kid,” she deflected your question with a statement of her own. “I’m surprised he doesn’t have more of you running around.” 

“Probably does,” you said. “I wouldn’t put it past dear old dad,” she placed her food in the microwave and turned to face you, arms crossed against her chest. Her green eyes flickered to the beanie you still chose to wear. “I find it unfair you know who I am and I don’t know you.” She smirked and turned to take her food out of the microwave. 

“Where is the fun in that, Stark?”

“Easton,” you corrected her. She raised a questioning eyebrow at you. “I go by my mother’s maiden name since she is the one who raised me and Tony didn’t.” Your mom never spoke ill of the man when you questioned why he was never around. Instead, she told you the truth that she never told him she was pregnant. You stopped asking questions because you didn’t need him. Your mom was all you needed. 

“Well, Easton,” she smiled. “It was nice meeting you. Try to get some sleep.” She walked back over to the elevator and stepped inside. 

“Sleep tight, blondie,” you sat back down on the couch and focused on your drawing. But you didn’t miss the look of surprise on her face as the metal doors closed. You chuckled, popping a cracker into your mouth. You weren’t worried about the mysterious blonde that got food quickly and left. You figured she was supposed to be here since Tony’s AI didn’t alert anyone or alarms didn’t go off. Now you weren’t an Avengers super fan but you knew of them through the news and research for your comics but you didn’t recognize her. She must be a new addition post the Blip. You sighed, biting the end of the pencil. 

You weren’t part of the half of the population that was taken. There was a part of you that wished you were. The car accident happened a few months before the Blip. So you grieved your mom and those you lost. It was hard. You threw yourself into your drawings, and your research, and traveled the world to help others to ignore your grief. It worked. Was it unhealthy? Yes. But you helped a lot of people, wasn’t that worth it? 

You cleaned up the crackers and cleaned the glass you used. There was an ache in your bones and you knew it was time for bed. 

*

You were back on the common floor in the kitchen, sipping on coffee and waiting for your oatmeal to be done. You thanked every god that existed that your taste buds still liked coffee. The microwave beeped and you took it out. As you ate it you made a list of things you needed to do before the weekend was over and your doctor appointment tomorrow morning. Your new room was fully furnished even with kitchen appliances so you could donate your furniture except the desk and bean bag in your office. You could put the desk you had in your bedroom or near the window in the living room. The hall closet would be before seasonal clothes, extra supplies, and a few things you kept that were your mom’s. You had a lot of stuff which meant you needed to go through everything and donate the stuff you didn’t need. But you weren’t sure how long you would be at the tower? Was it a permanent placement? Or until you got better, if you got better. You didn’t like to think about that. “How did you sleep?” Natasha asked, walking up to the coffee pot and pouring herself some. 

“Okay,” you took a bite of your oatmeal. “I think that nap messed up my sleeping schedule.” You giggled. You couldn’t help but stare at the redhead in front of you, trying to compare features from the blonde you met last night. They had similar eye color and teasing look in their eyes. They even smirked the same.      

“You're starring,” Natasha smirked. “I’m sorry but I’m spoken for and I don’t think Tony would like that.” You looked away from her so she didn’t see your embarrassment but a playful smile danced on your lips. 

“Sorry, I guess I’m more tired than I thought,” you looked back at the Black Widow. “Or you're just that mesmerizing to look at.” Natasha groaned, gently slapping you on the shoulder. 

“You flirt better than your father, I'll give you that,” you giggled. “Well I was thinking if you weren’t that tired,” she leaned against the counter. “We could borrow a few of Stark’s cars and go to your apartment to get your things. I can bribe Bucky, Steve, and my sister to help.” Sister? Interesting. But you didn’t dwell too much on that. 

“Why are you offering to help?” You asked with a tilt of your head. 

“This can’t be easy,” she stated. “With your diagnosis, reaching out to your biological father, and moving into a new place with new people,” you smiled. It was not easy. “But I bet having stuff you're familiar with can make it easier.” She was right. The bed was comfortable but you missed your mom’s guilt. The walls were bare, missing your photos and artwork. 

“Thank you, Natasha.” 

“Don’t mention it. I’ll go round up the delinquents. Do you need clothes to wear?” You looked down at your sleeping clothes. You could change into the clothes you were wearing yesterday but they were dirty. 

“Uh yeah,” you scratched the back of your head. “I wasn’t expecting him to offer me a place at the tower.” It was common practice for you to take an overnight bag when you went somewhere due to your random spots of fatigue. You expected to be back at your apartment by lunch night. Natasha frowned. 

“Did you not expect Tony to help you?” The Black Widow asked. You shrugged. 

“I didn’t want to get my hopes up,” you told her. The frown remained on Natasha’s face. 

“Wanda will have something for you to wear. FRIDAY, can you inform Wanda to meet Y/n at her room with clothes?” The AI confirmed she would alert the witch. You smiled. 

“Thanks again, Nat,” you weren’t expecting this level of kindness from the other Avengers. 

“Just tell FRIDAY when you're ready,” you finished your breakfast and cleaned up the dishes. By the time you took the elevator to the floor you were on, Wanda was outside your door with an armful of clothes. You laughed. 

“Got enough options?” You teased, opening the door for her. She huffed with a roll of her eyes. 

“I wasn’t sure what would fit or your style,” she dumped the clothes onto the couch. “So I brought a lot,” she surveyed the mess she created. “Okay, I may have gone a little overboard.” You giggled and started to go through the pile. You settled on a SHIELD shirt, that matched the blonde’s last night, and a pair of black shorts. But a few dresses did catch your eye and you made a mental note to ask her to burrow them. After a quick shower and changing into clothes, you informed the AI that you were ready. 

“Miss. Romanoff and company are in the garage,” you grabbed your wallet, keys, and phone. “Step into the elevator and I’ll bring you down.” 

“Thanks, FRIDAY,” you said, walking out of your room and to the elevator. Once inside, your mind began to race. You leaned back on the metal wall, looked up at the ceiling, and stared at your reflection. Was your apartment clean? You couldn’t remember. It was another effect of chemo - you called it chemo brain. Sometimes you couldn’t remember if you turned off the oven or locked the door. It was why drawing helped so much to pinpoint and focus on specific memories. 

So was your apartment clean? Gods, you hoped so. You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose. You tried to push down your anxiety at the thought of 4 Avengers walking into a messy apartment. The elevator doors opened and you saw Natasha, Buck, and Steve next to a moving van and the blonde you met leaning against a red Mustang. The sight made you smile. “Hey Blondie,” her head snapped to you. 

“Blondie?” Natasha questioned looking at who you assumed was her sister. 

“Easton,” she smirked. “You are the reason I was pulled out of bed.” You rolled your eyes. 

“I believe that was your sister,” you tilted your head to Natasha. The three Avengers watched the interaction with confusion all over their faces. “We met last night. She knew who I was but refused to tell me her name so from now until she tells me her name she will be Blondie.” Natasha shook her head with a defeated sigh. 

“Ya delayueta (idiot),” she said, hitting her sister’s arm. Whatever she said made Bucky chuckle. It was Russian that you knew but you and Steve looked at each other, the only ones not understanding the language. Her sister frowned, rubbing the spot Natasha hit. “You’ll be riding with my sister,” you huffed. Her name was still a mystery but the blonde looked smug. “We’ll follow you.” 

“Sounds good, you smiled, getting into the passenger seat. You didn’t catch whatever Natasha said to her sister before they got into the van. The blonde got with a sigh and turned on the car. “What did she say to you?” 

“Put your address in,” she handed you her phone with the maps app already up instead of answering. You did as she asked and plugged it into the charger. “She told me to stop being difficult.” She began the drive to your apartment. 

“Difficult?” You didn’t think she was. “Why are you being difficult?” But you were curious why she kept her name a mystery. You couldn’t find much about her online with a quick Google search. 

“It’s more fun,” you laughed, shaking your head. “Do you not think so, Easton?” 

“Whatever you say, blondie,” you smiled. “Whatever you say.” 

*

You unlocked the door to your apartment and stepped out of the way for the Avengers to enter. It was a 2 bedroom, 1 ½ bathroom. You used your second bedroom as your office and art studio since no one was coming to visit you. You were lucky to afford a place like this on your own and a glance around it wasn’t a mess. Bucky carried in some moving boxes. “So all the furniture is gonna stay beside the stuff in my office. The pots, pans, and utensils will be donated. I guess we’ll pack as much as we can today and I’ll come back another day to finish it.” 

“Anything you want to prioritize?” Steve asked. 

“My clothes,” you smiled. “As much as I love Wanda’s clothes, I don’t think this is my vibe.” Natasha laughed. 

“I’ll handle your clothes.” 

“Steve and I will get your furniture from your office,” Bucky suggested. 

“And I’ll stand here and look pretty.” 

“Ya delayueta (idiot),” you teased. Bucky, Natasha, and the blonde looked at you, mouths open. “I pick up on languages easily,” A quick Google search also didn’t help. “It’s Russian for idiot,” you told the blonde super soldier. Steve smiled, shaking his head with a laugh. 

“She’s not wrong.” She gasped, clutching her chest. 

“Steve Rogers, how could you?” You smiled. 

“I’ll buy pizza if you do some work, blondie.” You said and walked over to your hall closet to get a cooler and some reusable bags. Packing up the kitchen was going to be your job so you could go through the fridge and pantry. Natasha headed off to your bedroom and Steve and Bucky went to your office which left the blonde in your living space. She put a box together and began to take the pictures off the wall. You couldn’t help but watch her. The living room was decorated with pictures and items from your travels and the research you’ve done. She would look at the picture for a little bit before putting it into the box. It was odd, a stranger was going through some of your most prized possessions, packing them up so you could move into the Avengers’ tower. What a strange life you were living. 

“So,” you looked at the blonde. “What languages do you know?”

“I’m fluent in English and German but I’ve traveled a lot and I can put up with delicate differences.” She nodded, picking up a handmade mug you got while volunteering in South Africa. You continued to watch her. There was an odd look on her face. You frowned, going back to cleaning out the fridge not wanting to think too much about it. 

*

Yelena walked into the spare room you deemed as your office. The space was cleaned out of a desk, a bean bag, and an art easel. There was something about you that Yelena found intriguing but she couldn’t put her finger on it. She put together one of the moving boxes and began to take the artwork off the wall. They were all line drawings of various sea creatures with watercolor accents. Her favorite was the blue whale with her calf. Once they were safely in the box, Yelena opened the closet. She wondered how you could afford this place on top of your medical expenses. A majority of the stuff was extra art supplies and canvas, all still in their original packaging. But what caught her eye was the flying cabinet. She couldn’t help herself as she knelt in front of it and opened the bottom drawer. Was it an invasion of privacy? Probably but Yelena was a spy at heart and her curiosity got the best of her.  

She wasn’t surprised that she found more of your artwork but the contents of the pictures were surprising. It was the Avengers in comic book format. The mission they were on Yelena didn’t recognize so she assumed you made it up. The details were impressive. She put the comic back and picked up another drawing. It was a realistic portrait of a woman. Yelena didn’t know her but she saw similar features of you in her. She made the educated guess she was your mother. Natasha called her on her flight back from St. Petersburg and explained your story to her; diagnosed with cancer and the only family you had left was Tony because a car accident killed your mother. It was weird learning about your life through pictures she had to pack. You’ve traveled and seen the world by choice. You had a loving mother and now a father that brought you in without question. Those relationships weren’t brought together by a Red Room mission. She understood the feeling that grew when she saw you. Jealousy. She was jealous. Jealous of a girl who was dying unless she got a bone marrow transplant. It was ridiculous, uncalled for. But she couldn’t help it. Every time she learned something about you, a warm feeling built in her chest and she envied everything. “For a spy, you're pretty easy to sneak up on,” Yelena jumped, turning around quickly. You were standing in the doorway with a playful smile on your face. “Whatcha got there, blondie?” You asked, walked over to her, and sat down. Smiling, you looked at the picture in her hand. “That’s my mom. It was right before the car accident.” 

“They never found out who caused it, right?” You nodded, taking the picture from her. Yelena frowned, not liking the sadness radiating from you. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gone through your stuff.” You placed the photo back where it belonged. 

“Don’t worry about it,” you stood up, holding out your hand to help her up. Yelena hesitated (she wondered if you noticed) but finally took it. Your hand was smooth against hers beside the small callus on your finger. “You would have seen them eventually. The pizza is here. I guess you did enough to deserve it.” You teased her. Yelena chuckled, rolling her eyes. She wondered how you kept your heart. It was what Melina said to her and Natasha before the Red Room took them - ‘don’t let them take your heart.’ Life had not been easy for you but you still managed to keep your smile and sense of humor. It was another thing on her list to envy. 

“Your evil, Easton,” you giggled, looking back over your shoulder. 

“You don’t know half of it.” 

*

FRIDAY told you that Tony was in his lap. You held a box that was decorated in red and gold, tight underneath your arm. In hindsight, you should have known who your father was based on the color of the box but you only saw it once or twice. When the lab door opened, Tony looked up from his workbench. “Hey kid, how was moving out of the apartment?” He asked. 

“Good,” you sat down on an empty stool next to him. “I have to go back again but a majority of my stuff is here.” You watched his eyes glance at the box. 

“Well, let me know if I can help,” you nodded, tracing the lid of the box with your finger and looking away from him. Tony pulled up another stool. “Hey,” you looked at him. “What’s wrong?” You sighed, handing him the box. 

“The letters she wrote to you,” he took the box, eyes wide as he stared at it. “You can read them or not or destroy them. It’s your choice.” 

“Thank you,” you nodded, standing up. 

“One more thing,” you let out a shaky breath. “I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow. Do-do you want to come?” You were afraid to ask him, unsure of his response. But your mom didn’t allow him to be in your life, you wanted to give him the chance. The ball was in his court. You could tell he was shocked by the invitation. 

“Of course. I’ll be there,” you felt the weight leave your shoulders. Since your diagnosis, you’ve gone to your doctor's appointment alone. “Just let me know,” you smiled. 

“Sounds good. I’ll see you later, Tony,” you left his lap, hearing a ‘see ya’ from behind you. You took the elevator to the floor and into your room. It was a mess, boxes everywhere. You sighed, grabbed your mom’s quilt, and sat on the couch. The quilt belonged to your great-grandmother, who passed away before you were born. She gifted it to your mom when she graduated high school. It was blue and white with stars. You had great memories of you and your mom wrapped in this quilt reading a bedtime story by the campfire. You sighed, falling deeper into the couch and allowing the quilt to keep you warm. The mess could wait and be dealt with another time. 

*

His leg began to shake as he stared at the box still resting in his hand. He felt a panic attack building inside him. It was a long time coming with everything going on but he didn’t have time for it. On shaky legs, he stood up and opened a drawer at his desk pulling out a bottle of whiskey and a glass. It was rare that he drank but he needed something to take the edge off. He picked up the box and sat down on the small couch. 

There was a part of him that thought about destroying the box of letters. He didn’t have to know what he missed in the past; he had you now and could look towards the future, no matter how short it may be. No, he couldn’t think like that. He poured his drink. “Tony, your heart rate has elevated. Should I contact Pepper?” 

“No, FRIDAY, I’m okay,” he wasn’t sure if he was okay but he opened the box. He wondered if there was an order to the letters. Each one was titled - 1st Christmas, High School Graduation, 5th birthday, and every milestone he missed Jessica wrote him a letter. Tony wasn’t sure how long it took before her words began to blur and he wasn’t making sense of anything. He missed you graduating high school and traveling with Captain Mills to help research how global warming was affecting sharks. He missed all of this because he wasn’t given a choice to be in your life. The beating of his heart was the only thing he heard in his quiet lab. His breathing was erratic as he picked up his full glass and threw it at the wall. The glass shattering startled him as he sat on the ground, back against the couch. He pressed the palm of his hands to his eyes, hoping it would help but it wasn’t. He couldn't stop the growing panic inside of him. It was too much.  

Soon he felt fingers running through his hair. FRIDAY must have notified Pepper and he was so out of it that he didn’t hear Pepper enter. “I’m here,” he mumbled. Pepper hummed, pushing some strands off his forehead that were stuck due to sweat. 

“That was a big one,” she stated. “Just sit with me, okay?” Tony didn’t have the energy to resist her as he rested his head on her shoulder. The sweet smell of her lavender perfume washed over him. He felt better, felt grounded. His heart rate evened out and his breathing wasn’t as erratic. “Do you want to talk about what triggered it?” She asked softly. 

“Later,” he said. “Can we just be?” Pepper nodded, holding him tighter. And they would talk about it later. But for now, they were just Pepper and Tony. Not the CEO of Stark Industries or Iron. Not a mother of 1 and a new father of two. In the quiet and empty lab, they were safe in each other’s arms. Just being Pepper and Tony. 

_ 

Taglist:  @likemick

[thefairygodmonster]

More traditional experimental stuff! I got a new sketchbook as I finished the last one (maybe I should do a video tour of it?). The new one isnt quite the texture I like for just sketching, but it is very nice for ink and markers and I happened to purchase a few more water based markers the other day from my fave art store. I know its probably seems obvious but I found that copics are not the best for this paper but the water soluble markers from faber castelle and tombow are very nice to work with. I may get more in the future.

I think would I would like to try next is some oil pastel pencils? Im curious about them though I should also just use up my colored pencils. Either way Im having fun! Its nice to just...make a thing and say 'thats good enough' and move on while thinking of new ways to keep pushing it. I broke in that big sketchbook too so no more 'oh no its too nice to make art in' for me!