#i also 100% could have kept going
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what's a lesser known spider-man related thing that you don't see enough people talk about? (for me although its not lesser known, more like forgotten, only two people (you included) have recongnized my pfp)
weird al yankovic song
youtube
#sci speaks#weird al.. without a doubt arguably the most popular accordion player in an incredibly specific genre of music.#i really could have mentioned a whole number of things but i think i've mentioned the “rock reflections of a superhero” album like 100 time#if you haven't checked out the rock reflections of a superhero album. boy you better. it's on spotify.#okay it's mostly music.#other things: that fan script for tasm3. i think about it all the time.#and i love baman piderman. yes.#i honestly think baman piderman did become a minor bit of inspiration for peter b parker's movements in itsv.#i mean it. i smelt a lot of parallels. i kept thinking of piderman when i saw peter b using his webs.#and it checks out. piderman was the cringefail spider-man before ANYBODY. itsv copied his swagger.#i bet you one of the animators on spiderverse will come clean. one day.#also. the animators on baman piderman are ludicriously talented. i used to go to their streams. fucking insane what they do.#actually a little treasure of a series if you guys haven't checked it out.#it's sad it fell out of people's peripheries. it's very charming nonsense. and a lot of love went into it.#i was in love with baman piderman. long before i even cared about spider-man. there. that's the truth.#i cared about piderman FIRST!
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the bad: i have been raised without much warmth from my parents in childhood, but also pressured to conform to familial authority, doubt myself always, and value familial connections above all else (<- failed at this, and feel guilt about it.)
but also in experiencing this i have been so isolated from the entire rest of the world and others, that it will be nearly impossible to create my own "family" -> find safety and comfort in anybody else once my family is Gone. despite dis i find it really difficult to break away from the familiar, disobey and disappoint, because, well, why are my wishes more important than anybody else's. why would I cause upset and distress in anybody, and exert so much effort into my doubt filled half decisions, for my meaningless little Wishes. being away would also mean less time with these people who I'll never see again once they're gone. being raised this way is definitely paying off for those who did so.
the good: yaaaay adjacent inspiration for writing talon lore
#talkys#my dad scaring me but also giving me no advice on what to do instead only saying if i do this it will be the wrong choice leading#to more wrong choices well yep you got me i am scared. i am inept. i fear regret and punishment for wrong decisions.#i struggle to make decisions because i cant go back on them.#''ill never have savings again'' and ''you cant value friends over family they'll abandon you''#and ''living here is only a problem for you because you dont communicate. there is a way to work things out''#i wish i could work it out and stay i dont know why i cant work it out ! and what do i want#to leave so badly for... to continue to never have stable housing#never have savings again? be alone and in danger?#to be able to wear whatever i want and...buy things? really? that doesnt seem very worth it#nothing seems very worth it#im miserable here but maybe i'd be more miserable away...it is true#well at least the chances to leave are very slim. and will continue to get slimmer the more time passes.#but maybe its fine i dont want to ruin my life or be even more of a burden or reason for distress in someone else's#moving out wouldnt fix anything. wherever you go there you are.#my friend said i have to be a little selfish (positive) to push myself to leave. bt i dont want to be selfish. im ashamed of that as a trai#delete later#even now i feel immense guilt and stress when my dad does things that hurt or bother me bc i know ill miss him when he's gone.#(and ill have nobody after all of that. due to the being kept in a cage)#that sucks. why does everyone else always win. why am i always the weakest pliable one. i wish i had no emotions#my surgery is the only decision in my life ive been 100% sure on for years#and even then my parent's words had me crying and rapidly changing emotions daily until the day came#im not strong enough or sure enough about anything else to withstand More of that#<- and i know that tomorrow im gonna be like actually you know what who cares lets try to leave#and the next day ill be resigned to staying here forever#and the next day ill be like actually you know what who cares l
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Ohhhhmygod I just read the Xaden plot twist at the end of Iron Flame and damn. I knew something happened but I didn't know what.
#iron flame#xaden riorson#iron flame spoilers#fourth wing#i thought he got captured or something#but...i so should have seen this coming#see i kept thinking they'd find brennan's old bf and they'd try to save him#which could still happen#but now with x and helping him fight this new power and “evil”#oh this is going to be good#bring on the angst#onyx storm is 100% xaden's book#at the end we will get them both on the throne and in love#it is just going to suck getting there#mine#also i don't think they will ever “fix” him - it will all just be learning control
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My personal headcanon regarding the mob chasing Allicent & Helana is that they just wanted to throw fish and stuff at the ruling queen Allicent.
Like to me, personally, there was someone who yelled "our bad!" when a fish meant for Allicent clipped Helana
#house of the dragon spoilers#house of the dragon#Allicent is such a complicated character but ngl I feel much more badly for her early on than I do as things progress#like she's always pulling this straight up :( face whenever things go against her and it's like girl#there WAS a point where things were well beyond your power to stop#and I hate that you were manipulated as pretty much a child into doing things you *never* should have been made to do#but there was *also* a point where you could have 100% NOT kept stirring the shit pot and instead begun healing and you chose THIS bullshit#so do *not* act like you're fully innocent past that point and how could these leopards be eating your face#sometimes a crowd of starving peasants throw a fish at you and you kinda deserve it
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I have Got to get more transgender
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#transmasc#trans ftm#transgender#i like 2 say i'm very trans already but unforch i am Not Really. mostly boring ftm Guy Ever#so tempted to cut my hair again but my sense of what i look like is already so fuzzy i dont think it'd help..#want to dye my hair anyways. at this point i'd take whatever color i can get if not purple LOL#it's almost everything i could want and yet ... still me. still the same life. stuck.#soooo high functioning like you wouldnt believe EXCEPT istg i need an emotional support human who will guide me through tasks#such as 'pay with your Moneys Card at the Store'#or... idk that's it really. maybe go grocery shopping without feeling like i'm not meant to be there also#or like. exist in general maybe#reasons why not emotional support Animal: creature cannot understand capitalism. and also is not as necessary as a service dog specifically#idk! every time i come on here i fall apart (in text) and then pull myself back together for another day of ... this i guess.#i'm not even having like crying breakdowns or anything to go along with it i'm just held inside this shell of a body. typing away again#i'm soso tempted to make things worse. progress wouldn't matter anymore... at least maybe it would feel real that i'm like this#i wish my face fit on my body right. and also that i did not look quite so much like a vaguely gnc lesbian#like at LEAST let me look butch as hell but no. curse of sad hair & uncertainty#miss my little mullety thing from that brief period in october... miss my short hair from back in 2017 ...#just dont feel satisfied with what i am now. in general.#top surgery is literally Within my reach but i'm not sure about cost and i need to wait because of doing guard now......#my list of do i want t i kept for the past month turned out to be a bunch of maybes#partially cause i got sick. partially cause it stopped being shark week and i forgot about it#as always happens...#still unsure in my new(er) name. only heard it once#didn't feel the same way as with my old one? but idk. just don't know.#missing guard also but feeling conflicted about not having time for other hobbies...#since winter season is over i've had so much time to play guitar! that's insane! mostly cause i stopped playing for unrelated reasons...#just tired again. wonder if i need more sleep than what i always get. kind of restless.#there's nothing else to say i guess. just wish i could be a person the way everyone else seems to be.
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#so ive seen many different versions of the same sentiment of - if standing/walking for longer than 15-20min causes you pain you may benefit#from a mobility aid/have an underlying issue - and the thing is i believed it. but i was also lowkey like#surely after standing still for 15-20min anyone would experience pain in their feet at least??#anyway tonight 2 friends who both consider themselves able-bodied informed me that they can go for:#about 2 hours - and about 1 hour - before they start experiencing ANY pain. not - before it gets too painful to ignore#not - before the pain starts to worsen. before it kicks in at all. and then its just mild pain.#so anyway i might benefit from a mobility aid/have an underlying condition. more research is required.#aka im asking more friends about their experiences with pain re: standing and walking and if they consider themselves able-bodied#all this came about bc i worked a haunted house yesterday and it was a long day#it was about 13 hours mostly standing with enough sitting in between that i could ignore the pain i was in and rest for a few minutes#here and there. today i was in so much pain i was limping and my boyfriend had to help me with stairs. he kept asking if he could just carry#me up and down them but i hate being carried on stairs in particular so i said no and he just gave me his arm to help lean on#i 100% wouldve fallen without him or a railing#i was telling a friend abt it and it evolved into talking abt general pain experiences and yeah. 15-20min is abt all it takes for me
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gem au but whoops all c!droolish
#root doodles#c!droolish#c!dream#c!foolish#dreblr#it's time I lean into my niche of quick aus and messy doodles#enough trying to finish things!! Post whatever! Go crazy go stupid!#gem au#I do have extensive lore for them however#dream was kept in a box like literally#Sam built a box that could harness a gems power and use it for energy and just. slapped dreams gem on there#And it was like that for either 10 or 100 years idk I haven't decided#foolish is essentially a false diamond like he was artificially created to emulate the power of diamonds#hence being ''fools gold'' something that looks valuable but ultimately isnt#diamond authority is also basically obsolete#Like that's already gone so it's basically a bunch of gems trying to rule each other#and then people go crazy go stupid#foolish is very ignorant of how things are run now he has no idea what's going on#also he either has been shattered already or gets shattered at some point and then is put back together idk#XD is obviously one of the diamonds come on#same with death she's like white diamond or something#also just to please my gender fuck brain emerald is Woman she uses she/her#but dream and foolish both use he/him in this#Anyway... if anyone wants to talk Abt this gem au or shoot me ideas or something ... 🥺🥺🥺
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i deserve financial compensation for the amount of fucking hoops i had to jump through to enable tipping on here
#mar.txt#this is /j obviously i'm just trying to be lighthearted to cope with the Anger ha ha ha :)#oh the urge to throw my phone as hard as possible into a hard surface. but i cannot. not Yet at least. but once i get a job and can get a#new one......... this one's getting destroyed through Brute Force :)#lets see how many times did i have to re-login and redo Everything because the verification thing wouldn't accept my id picture bc it was#'too blurry' so i had to take a picture with my phone camera but i had to clear app caches first because this phone is constantly at 99-100#storage space. but Then because it fucking sucks ass and if i Breathe in the direction of another app whatever app i just tabbed off of#crashes and i have to reopen it. i had to log back in Again which meant waiting for the text message verification code Again (i live in the#middle of nowhere with a phone that Refuses to use the wifi for calls/texts and instead only uses the shitty cell service)#because Apparently tumblr users aren't allowed to stay logged in nor log in with a password. and Then i had to take a picture of the back#of my id too and i tried using my phone camera straight from the gallery option when i clicked upload. but because my phone sucks That also#crashed my browser and made me log back in. this isnt even counting btw how many times i TRIED to do it through tumblr but it kept stalling#and making me back all the way out log all the way back in and wait on it again for it to go further so i said fuck it and went to my#browser to do it. so i log back in and then i find out not only did attempting to take that picture crash my browser but it didnt even#actually TAKE the picture. so i have to click back over to my camera app Again and take the picture Again and log back in and wait the eons#it takes for things on this phone to load AGAIN. and then i Finally. FINALLY get it completed.#oh but did you think that was all? oh no i STILL had to log back in and load all the way back in Again through tumblr one final time to tel#the app i had done all that! and THEN i could turn tipping on. right?#no. i then had to close the app and reopen it again for it to Let me enable it. otherwise it just tried to take me back to stripe then#proceeded to give me an error message when i tried. great job tumblr#anyways that was infuriating#lmao i forgot to finish the original thought and check#anyways. around 7 or 8 times. that took almost a half hour of struggling i'm pretty sure. enraging☺
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When I started playing the new Final Horizon update I was expecting pure fun playing as Amy, Knuckles and Tails all while getting new story and a better final boss.... I wasn't expecting I was signing up for extra hard mode that made me feel very drained despite my setting being clearly set to normal difficulty.
#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#sonic frontiers#Sonic frontiers final horizon#I am bad at games I know this and can admit it#Sonic fans really don't deserve the wonderful treatment the Sonic Team has been giving up lately frfr#But Imma need them to tune this shit DOWN#I enjoyed playing as Amy Knuckles and Tails but I was excited to get back to Sonic admittedly#Mainly because I was of course familiar with him while I wasn't with the others#I thought I could go ahead and get the map all completed and do a lil cyberspace before I did the first tower#What I wasn't expecting was to get stuck trying to do my one and first CyberSpace level over and over because I kept failing#I mainly just kept failing at the last bit because it was falling platforms and they give you such little space and time that I cant handle#When i gave up on that i decided focus on the map then so I'll really know where I'm going and all that#Turns out the challenges to get your map filled up were also made to be just ridiculous#I gave up at a fuckin ball and hoop challenge because shit feels so inconsistently annoying#Not to mention the guardian i fought beforehand because Sonic actually has stats#Maxed out ones even#Now i know this one is definitely more of a skill issue on my part I'm sure but#I have max defense and I was at 999 rings#Bro i got down to under 100 rings during that damn fight cause i didn't know the right time to attack#I can be short tempered ngl shsh so shit has definitely brought my mood down and I'll probably actually watch the rest of the story#I really don't want to put myself through all that and more some it drains me more than having fun#Props to those who have fun with it#I cannot and I admire their strength amd determination#Plus I'm already seeing people talking about the towers you need to do with Sonic being absolute pains#Last time I saw that was with The End fight which the game took pity on me with how many times I died#Just uyguggugh#Whole ass rant in the tags#I'm tired and I do hope the new story full on is good and redeems what we had before
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man I wish you could make little folders for your drafts bc there's "i saved this bc my brain didn't let me post it immediately without tags but it also wouldn't let me tag it" and there's "i actually need to add stuff to this to make it postable" and you'll never guess what i have a 100:1 ratio of in my drafts right now
#had to cut myself off from a MASSIVE long time coming hiei trust analysis essay bc i have so much shit i neglected this weekend that NEEDS#to be done within the next 3 hours but i also. really really wanna fuckin write the hiei analysis.#but i managed to break myself away so i could make this post and bc i kept going back to the sources (eps 99-100 in sub and dub) which#interrupted my flow a bit#i WILL hijack my problems to solve other problems. hehe yeahhh#anyway. bye
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bro is inquisitive
#thinking of the possibilities of how it could be worse it's funny how you start to get addicted to thinking like a danmei writer#you are like anddd what if this person was (insert a guy who coughed once in chapter 15) anyways#i managed to not get many spoilers bc i hate it but i have always suspected that shi mei had a thing for cwn firstly bc i once saw a ship#tag and was like ?? well that is not uncommon as people ship shrek with chanyeol (im people) but secondly after that scene where mo ran#pinky interrogated him i was sooo 100% sure of it. but then there was nothing much so i let it go. the one mini spoiler i saw was#the enemy on pinterest who replied to a pic of a character saying it was shi mei/other name (didn't look at it) so it was why i knew#he was classically someone else. but even without that his ass was raising suspicion just for the way how blank he was#and i knew it was intentional so i kept thinking who he could be and my guess was xu shuanglin (rest in pieces poor guy)#bc i thought that both of them had the same spiritual essence or something. also the guy in the motel at the beginning who also had water#essense could only be either of them. but this is not the point bc then i was thinking that shi mei was simultaneously mo nian#bc why would he have the reason to be annoyed with mo ran to that extent. and also bc i knew there was a fire and hua binance has face burn#but mo ran chopped his head off bless his souls and good for him so how else can that be worse#he could also be that child of nangong yan who had his mother die bc of mo ran and mom he would also have a reason to try and compare#himself to mo ran in every way and hate him but why would he need to store nangong blood for mount jiao is he is nangong himself#but that would be great for disgusting points bc he would be mo ran's half brother doing all that ??#im just taking a break from throwing up bc of his ass trying to assault cwn every chance he gets and idk anything yet#so it would be interesting to keep guessing his motives as i do not get it yet but also (procceed to throw up)#also his interactions with corpse taxian ?? god tier. taxian is in the middle of diss battle drops his mic after every sentence#the crowd (me) cheers. moving on but i really enjoy insane plot twists i wish i remembered well what i was thinking while reading tgcf#the widely known thing is that i didn't even consider that fu yao and nan feng were fengqing it's my favorite thing bc i wholeheartedly#believed the little guys just loved their generals way too much#00
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Fuck you *makes your demon more historically accurate*
#also more deer-ish#larger antlers#a tail#hoofed feet#stuff like that#I based this off of the 1930’s since we know he died sometime then#so a more accurate hairstyle was a big one#and some modifications to the coat length and lapel style#also a new mic/staff#I kept as much of his original traits that I could reasonably get away with#we’re shoulder pads that large in the 30’s? no#but also he’s extra so whose to say that he wouldn’t have wanted that extra flare#plus he’s literally a demon- we’re not going for 100% accuracy here#and you probably can’t see but his bow tie is modeled after bat wings— which isn’t historic but it is fun#the line art is messy but this started off as a sketch on paper and then I transferred it to digital#background is obviously not mine#alastor hazbin hotel#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel#hazbin art#alastor art#alastor hazbin#alastor the radio demon#alastor#alastor hazbin art#radio demon
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if hyv won't validate xiao's fear of causing harm with his karmic debt, i will. his karmic debt would absolutely harm caiying if she wasn't a vision holder.
#also played around a bit with the idea of how like. bc caiying is definitely weaker than other vision holders. being close#gives her some aches. like a headache or ache in her bones. some minor changes in her heartbeat.#that girl is being kept alive like fucking puppet on some strings that's what her vision and will to live / revenge is doing to her#i have no idea what's going to happen to visions at the end of this game but like.#if they go and there's not a back up plan for her#she will 100% die i'm sorry but i will not give the happy ending#idk idk i'm gonna go on a personal thing in the tags rn#as someone who does have mental health issues i wish the power of friendship could like#heal me fully.#it doesn't but it definitely helps to have friends.#but i think it's important to remember that the karmic debt that xiao has is a 'real' thing in the teyvat world#there hasn't been a method introduced to get rid of it in canon#while i think the 'power of friendship' can help xiao with his karmic debt in some ways#the truth of the matter is that it's always going to be there and affecting him and others#his fear of causing harm is real and backed by previous examples (ie. lore and the other yaksha)#instead of being like 'xiao make some friends' idk why they just don't propose#looking through some fucking lore to find out if there is a way to actually help with the karmic debt#the power of friendship is not going to save xiao (unless hyv decides it does which like .... k )#the fact of the matter is that physical pains he's experiencing aside#i don't know how much longer xiao even has being. like. alive. bc of his karmic debt#he's like. 2 fully traumatizing events away from shit going down.#he's still an individual. there's limits to everyone.
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It always confuses the hell out of me when people are like "I wish yoshiki was never in x Japan!!" like 100% seriously like,,, do they not understand that X would not exist at the most base level definition without him?? He wrote the songs ffs! What would you be a fan of at that point it'd be a completely different band😭
#101 complains#this isnt even a bias thing he writes the music lmao what are they talking about#i mean hell you could also argue that hide wouldnt have kept going with music as far as he got without yoshikis intervention#cause he was planning on going to cosmotology school right?#toshi 100% wouldnt have kept or really started with singing#people are so wild about yoshiki bruhh#x japan
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so I'm a like, 2/3s done with arc v and I have seen all the series before it and I was wondering like. how many eps all together of ygo that means I've watched...
toei/s0 is 27 eps. the original duel monsters is 224. capsule monsters is 12. GX is 180. 5Ds is 154. zexal is 146. I've also seen all 4 movies if you're counting overall... I've seen 115/148 of arc v. so I Personally Have Seen...858 episodes of yugioh so far. :0
and for fun, the overall episodes, if you want to count s0, capsule monsters, dm, gx, 5ds, zexal, arc v, vrains, sevens, and go rush all together? 1,145 yugioh episodes+ 4 movies. go rush is still airing so. Even More To Watch :-) I also haven't really read ANY of the mangas 100% so...even if I Theorically catch up fast enough to 'run out' of stuff, (which lets be realistic. its ME theres no way I'll catch up that fast) I have ALL the mangas which... god. how many volumes of manga are there...
#this isnt even including the time ive spent on the video games or noncanon stuff like fanworks JKSDHKFJ#yeah. u could say im in a committed relationship. yeah shes a card game series B)#it also made me a bit sad to go to the wiki to check each episode count and see they kept going down. sevens doesnt even have 100 eps?#but also good for future me to be able to get thru them quickish? id like to be caught up with go rush by the end of the year.#but i gotta get thru vrains and sevens and whats left of arc v for me :")#i mean i guess i could skip around in the series but#ive watched them ALL in order up unil this point so it feels WRONG to do that#hhhh#sanchoyorambles#ygo
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speaking of bsol through speaking of xmas xtrav that like i'm so augh god hand over heart falling over (just like the bloodsong b/c it's the like conclusion of being Overwhelmed By Artistic Effect that then in the ideal version you may as well die) at the thought of the finale where you have the main plot conclude as that Story w/those Themes like ah but even then, the influence, the other the musicians now, that this whole time like yeah you have to do it even if you just keep building or die or were thwarted even prior to that b/c you didn't know you wouldn't be....but that then just like in the opening song Outlaw or sort of distillation of the theme abt being someone making art Last On Land or that at other points other characters have emerged as not really their characters not really a greek chorus but elements of the story helping to Tell It, here's Everyone again for the friendship song altogether & each with an instrument & like not even able to see it but pics & imagining & the enthusiasm & the Thematic Resonance like this is when you are pursuing these pursuits together like _o__ (splayed out facedown emoji) aaauuughhh ;;mm;; bsol finale with everyone showing up playing & singing & dancing the song celebratory finale it's all the Theme when the full cast of Characters had only ever all been together for the one standoff scene at the end & yet obviously We've known them all & everyone is outlaws which is a song like i'm already going sicko mode & this is just the intro, so yknow, The Conclusion, good lord find an iconis musical finale without that place for the celebratory outpouring of enthusiasm right amidst other feelings & situations but Good Lord Here's This in a story that'll always have been all about people's depths & heights & widths & breadths & variations & tumult & all the dimensions, people will have Brought It all over the place & it's like yes leap around together playing & singing this song together which isn't The Story but is such an extension of it b/c bsol has its show within the show quality still infused all in it & if this flurry of Actors Celebrating Outpouring We Put On This Show but still within the show you are seeing as an audience in this venue wouldn't have been part of the original plan with a whole [outside the show within the show] plotline like. embraces bsol holding it so hard my becherished
#bsol#& in true xmas nature yknow like yeah i think of the whole show like wwaaughh think of the baby please come home like Aauuuughhh#think of specific moments within & none of those make me weep but they do make me go omg & woww yayy & clap & cheer & caper & gambol#but what everything has been: all about its central theme & bsol/xmas playing w/& sending up Genre Conventions we all know & thus can be#enough on the same page about so as to then be on the same page abt what's Unexpectedly done w/them but it's not just about#like oh we do this to be Above it b/c it's also done abt genre convention stuff that's enjoyed & interesting to its creator here so#that also as ever the Heart of w/e the genre stuff being messed with is Earnestly Kept & that's what all this is used to express things#with in addition to being able to have fun & explore things that plausibly a completely straightforward recreation type homage couldn't#or couldn't do as well without sacrificing one or the other vs if you're already doing an open like remix playing with exploration; then...#the conclusion of the xmas show isn't yeah i love xmas isn't that cringefail of me. yeah these xmas special media we're working off of#isn't that all so silly & no matter how much i love it it's important to end up Above It. like nobody's here to be above shit good god#soooo much more you can do if you don't have to prioritize That central theme. [you & me; We're superior] undermines Anything Else#while never holding yourself as Apart & Better lets anything else grow & flourish & have the Capacity & Flexibility to be & do whatever#the villain as an emotional reflection of part of the hero / representing a Possible Version of them; not Who They Could Never Be#as Only a force to be overcome with your greater force; though naturally yes the villain creates conflicts & stakes & obstacles#& in these so very genrey xmas bsol situations i'm clapping cheering go also very fun & funny little villain who kills you Gooo#100% this bitch Oh No Not Miserthorpe Krampington Thornwassail Cocodrilo that's right you fucks ahahahaaa >:) die btw#thinking about specific parts of bsol like oh wow oh yay oh this fun turn into this bit oh what a scene what a song wahooo#then overall like lying back reaching up Bloodsong....#thinking of the finale friendship song actors as actors ish characters ish ft. instruments 😭😭😭😭😭😭 (one each)#this mf (gesturing to myself who'll inevitably fire up Outlaw.mp3 at any moment & go Augh the harmonica the harmonies the chorus The This)#also that obviously i get to have a delightful time going well so of course lo cocodrilo is gay; perhaps & trans; &....
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