#i actually feel even closer to them even more seen

[taro-bae]

can u do twst 3rd years reacting to you saying "I love you" for the first time? :3

Twisted Wonderland - Third Years

Summary: reacting to you saying "I love you" for the first time

Characters: Third Years + Che'nya (I love him so much)

CW/Notes: gn!reader, fluff, romantic, preestablished relationship (let's say dating for some time now)

Trey Clover

It was a long day of classes and Trey's duties with housewarden responsibilities. But one thing he was never tired for was checking up on you, making sure you're hydrated and feeling your best. Trey made his way to you, happy to see you after a being on his feet all day. He was doing some small act of service for you when you hit him with the statement that caught the calm vice-warden off guard.

The words "I love you" repeated in his head. It took him a moment to process what you just said. He gazes at you sheepishly with a soft smirk, "say it again...?". Trey look directly into your eyes trying to catch every micro reaction from you and grasp your true feelings. And after you say it again he steps closer to you meeting you at eye level. He might look composed with a light smirk on his lips, but inside his heart completely melted for you.

"I love you too~" he says dropping an octave lower, keeping his voice calm and cool, specifically to tease you. Trey, being quite the tease loves seeing your cheeks flush with colour, even if it is barely noticeable. He opens his arms pulling you into an embrace as one of his hands pats your head. Still with that smirk he'd pull you right into his chest letting you hear his heartbeat.

Cater Diamond

Cater paused when you confessed to him, telling him those three words. His expression faltering a bit. This wasn't exactly the first time someone confessed their feelings to him. However, this time it felt different. This time it felt genuine ans sincere, like you actually meant it.

"I... Uh..."

He had his share of admirers and crushes, but this confession felt more...real. Cater now felt more flustered and unsure. He's used to hidding his feelings and putting on a happy carefree face, but this time you saw it slip a bit on his face when his expression softened. He seemed more vulnerable but recovered quickly.

"I love you too, cutie~♡"

That night he almost cried himself to sleep feeling actually loved and appreciated by someone. Especially that that someone is you.

Leona Kingscholar

"...what?"

Leona thought he misheard you. He was sitting on his bed, book in his lap when you caught him completely off guard leaving him in disbelief. When you repeat it again, his eyebrows frown slightly, but in his eyes you can see something hidden. He sets the book aside, the gravity of your words setting in leaving a sense of surprise and vulnerability as he tries to process them.

"Why the hell would you love me?"

Leona may act dismissive and find it difficult to accept comfort or love, even from his partner. Though his eyes convey something else. He scoffs and looks away, his tail thumping behind him while his ears lay flat. He doesn't want to be seen as weak, he has a reputation to maintain. "Stupid herbivore..." he thinks, but his dark tan cheek feel warmer. He's not good at expressing his emotions, and will need time until he even tries to say it back.

"You....ughhh, fine...I-...I might love you too..."

Vil Schoenheit

You love Vil, but the question is; who doesn't? He has an enormous share of fans and admires showering him in compliments. Although, they don't matter as much as yours.

Love is a bit of an odd concept in his life, in respect to his career and status. When the words "I love you" leave your lips he's taken aback. Despite his acting abilities and marvellous composure, Vil isn't the best with romance. He looks into your eyes seeing the devotion and pure adoration in your gaze. His own heart is pacing faster than he'd like, but he knows he loves you too.

After taking a controlled breath he speaks trying to keep his voice steady, "I love you too, my dear." Vil takes your hand in his, the look in his eyes turning serious, "this stays private between us, the media can be relentless to say the least...but I'm glad that you love me. And I love you the same"

Rook Hunt

It is certain that he said it to you before many times. Rook is patient whether you were ready to say it or not. He was dying to hear the first time you tell him that you love him, he's a sucker for romance.

When you approached him and finally said those words to him he wasn't actually caught off guard, his hunter mind is always prepared. However, he is over the moon. Instantly picks up both your hands together, kissing your knuckles while maintaining direct eye contact. "Oh~ Mon Amour, finally blessing me with your kind words! je t'aime aussi!"

His affections double after your confession, be prepared to receive lots of affection that point onwards.

Idia Shroud

"This level is for absolute NOOBS, the boss is set u-... HUH! WHA-?!"

Absolute chain reaction. Why do you do this to him. Poor boy was just sitting playing his games, while ranting to you, with his favourite anime in the background when you drop the bomb on him. Idia will spiral, his anxiety getting the better of him. For Idia, romance was a dead zone he wasn't interested in for a long time, until you.

"Did I mishear them? No, no, no...that can't be right? They said they LOVE...ME? maybe they meant the game...right right...the game...Wait no....UGHH WHAT DO I SAY...this so awkward..."

Idias hands begin to sweat, the tips of his hair turning a brighter pink. As well as his face, the red visible in contrast to his pale skin. A mumbled "A-are you sure" leaves his mouth without thinking. His heart and mind are absolutely racing escalating to a small panic attack. A few tears weld up in his eyes, he needs some reassurance that you mean it and will never leave him.

"You're n-not just saying that are you..." after you give him a hug he melts into your comfort hiding his face in your neck. He whispers a quiet "Don't leave me..."

Malleus Draconia

Malleus was lonely practically his whole life, starved of genuine affection and love. That changed when you came into the picture.

It was on a late night walk where you agreed to accompany him while he tells you about the gargoyles around campus. The intimate and quiet atmosphere was a perfect moment for you to tell him how you feel, letting the words slip from your tongue. Malleus stopped, meeting your gaze directly. He needs a moment to think and catch his breath.

One of his hands lifts to softly caress your cheek with the back of his fingers. His gaze is soft and loving when he looks down at you.

"You truly know how to make me happy, my beloved. Please allow me to love you...eternally."

For Malleus it didn't matter who you were or what happens after. All that matters is that you love him and that he's no longer alone.

Che'nya

He was teying to annoy you as he always does, sneaking in and appearing infront of you upsidedown to try steal a kiss. That is when you decide to get hin back for all his teasing and pranks.

"Che'nya, I love you" He freezes, body stiffening and cheeks dusted pink. His eyes would widen, mouth falling open slightly before shutting again as he attempted to form words. He's a sucker for true love, and a hopeless romantic at heart, your words mean a lot to him.

He blinks with wide yellow cateyes, his brain attempting to register just what you said before the words finally processed and a wide cheesy grin would break out across his face. He steps forward, hands catching your waist gently as he pulled you flush against his chest, head tilting as he spoke.

"You love me?"

When you confirm, his grin only grows wider, ears and tail perking up in happiness. "I love mew too, lyubimaya/lyubimiy~" He purrs back littering your face and neck with kisses.

Che'nya is mine >:(

Russian Che'nya Russian Che'nya Russian Che'nya!!!

I'd kill to call him Тёма (short for artemiy/artema) or Котик (kitty male endearment form) to his face!!!

UGGGHHH IM DOWN BAD FOR HIM

[nadvs]

first prize desire (one-shot)

pairing rafe cameron x female reader

rating mature 18+

summary your brother’s friend, rafe, is good at a lot of things. hiding his infatuation with you isn’t one of them. one night, you stop teasing him and finally give him what he’s been dreaming of.

tags college au where rafe and reader are varsity volleyball players. reader is a noncommittal f-girl. rafe is down bad for her. mentions of past infidelity. lots of angst and some light smut. not a happy ending.

» masterlist

note hello, i’m back!! a little while ago, i got an ask about a f-girl reader who’s been hurt in the past and is a little mean to rafe and i’m obsessed at the thought of him pining and lowkey being a simp for her?? this one goes out to my girlies with trust issues <3 divider credit.

You have to be doing it on purpose.

Rafe’s grip on his gym bag tightens as he steps out of the men’s locker room. The door shuts behind him with a heavy thud.

The girls’ team has the court now. You’re by the end line closest to him, only a few feet away as you stretch. You’re bent over with your back arched and he slowly paces towards the gym exit, his mouth going dry at the way you look.

The sight of you in those little shorts always throws his thoughts into a frenzy. Seeing your ass perched in the air like that makes him feel even more disoriented.

The varsity volleyball schedule is simultaneously the best and worst thing that has happened to him. Twice a week, Rafe steps out into the gym, exhausted from practice, to see you warming up, always tormenting him with how good you look.

You stepped into his life a few months ago at the beginning of the school year. His friend had mentioned that his sister would be starting college and that she plays volleyball, too.

The first time you came over to the house he shares with your brother and a few other guys on the team, he knew he was going to like being around you.

Until he got to know what a tease you are.

You stand up from your stretch, placing your hands on your hips as you look over your shoulder.

“Hey, Rafe,” you sing-song, your voice sweet as sugar. His hair is wet from his post-practice shower, hanging over his forehead. “Your hair’s cute like that.”

He was right. You are doing it on purpose. You knew he was there and you purposely put yourself on display for him like that, like a treat he knows he can’t have. For fuck’s sake. He’s never wanted a girl this bad.

Rafe’s lips flatten as he nods in greeting, stopping in his tracks. You’re not sure if the rosy tint to his cheeks is a product of a rough practice or a distressed blush from having seen you in such a suggestive position.

“Are you coming to watch our game tomorrow?” you ask, just loud enough over the voices echoing through the gym.

Rafe steps closer. You adore it about him, how he always looks like he’s been hinging on a opportunity to talk to you.

“Should I?” he asks.

“Sure. I know you like any excuse to look at me,” you reply with a shrug.

He scoffs, a mix of incredulity and amusement. He’s obvious about how bad he wants you, he knows he is, and that’s why it makes it ten times worse that you toy with him like this.

“You never watch our games,” he responds.

“I’m a busy girl,” you laugh.

He knows that. And he wishes he didn’t. He wishes he didn’t have to see you jump from guy to guy, snuggled up to a different one at every other party, never staying long enough to call any of them your boyfriend.

A couple of weekends ago, Rafe had been one too many beers deep. Pressed against the wall at a house party, he gazed at you through heavy lids and asked if you were ever going to find a guy you liked enough to actually keep around. You laughed and told him, “I’m not the commitment type.”

“I’ll see if I can make it,” Rafe says, because even though he’s a goner when it comes to you, he tries to keep at least some dignity intact and feign indifference.

“Hope you can,” you respond, smirking. His eyes go a little brighter. You know that means he’ll come.

You’re a whirlwind, a storm constantly passing over him, leaving him spinning. Time and time again, he gets just close enough to the edge of thinking he has a chance with you, and then you pull back.

Your flirty looks and dirty jokes are maddening and any time he’s tried to do anything about it, you’d say you’re not going to complicate things with your brother’s friend, especially when he lives with him.

Off limits, you’d once whispered in his ear at a party, but your body was pressed up against his so tightly that it didn’t seem like you wanted a boundary between you two at all.

Rafe’s name echoes from behind him. He turns to see your brother leaving the locker room, donning a confused expression.

“You leaving without me?” he laughs, walking towards him.

Rafe would never tell him that he purposely rushed out to get a glimpse of you.

⫘⫘⫘

The minutes before the start of a game is when you feel the most pressure. More than during the actual match. You know if you don’t feel proud of your performance, you fall into a funk nobody can pull you out of.

You rub your palms together as you wait for your turn in a spiking drill. The other team just arrived, warming up on the other side of the court.

You thought you didn’t mind these opponents all that much. Their team is usually weaker than yours. But they have a new player and seeing her familiar face makes your blood boil.

Rafe makes it to the gym after class, two sets into the match. It’s 1-1 and the air is heavy with tension. The gym is quiet as he settles in the bleachers, the thumps of hands hitting the volleyball rolling across the court.

You’re panting as you hurry around, dodging your teammates while never letting the ball hit the floor.

You look more stressed than usual.

He almost gets right up again to leave, irritated at himself. This is the crap a boyfriend would do; come watch your games, worry about the anger etched on your pretty face. Yet all he gets called is a friend while you entertain other guys right in front of him.

But then he smirks a second later when he sees you frustratingly mutter something to your teammate after the opposing team wins a point.

Rafe revels in seeing your temper come out. It’s cute. And it makes him feel better about his.

A few minutes in, though, he sees anger flare up in you like never before. A girl on the opposing team blocks your spike and seems to murmur something to you.

You fight back, loud enough for him to hear. You snap at her to shut up. One of your teammates holds you back. The ref blows the whistle.

It’s a misconduct foul. Something’s up with you and he doesn’t know what.

The rest of the game has an added level of intensity. It results in a loss for the home team. You’re wearing the disappointment in your expression.

Rafe decides to leave. You always take your sweet time after a match and he’s not about to make an even bigger fool of himself by waiting outside for a girl who messes with him for wanting her so bad.

But still, because he’s so pathetically into you, he texts you later on: rough game. you good?

You don’t respond.

⫘⫘⫘

The next day, Rafe hasn’t gotten over you ignoring him. He’s not really one to let go of things all that quick.

And he’s had enough. Of the teasing and the flirting and the indifference you have towards him while all he does is long for you. You have all the power and he’s sick of it.

It’s not hard for him to find the girl you’d argued with on the court. It’s a matter of searching on her college’s athletic department website, learning her name, and finding her on social media.

He chats with her, invites her to his house party the next night, and because it’s easy for him to get any girl to agree to hang out with him, unless she’s you, she accepts.

He can’t wait for you to see him with her.

⫘⫘⫘

You make it to the house the next night, showing enough skin that makes Rafe’s stomach grow tight. You nudge your brother’s shoulder in greeting, then shuffle closer to Rafe see him nursing a beer.

“Hey,” you say over the music. He towers over you, a crease between his brows. He wears everything on his handsome face, incredibly easy to read.

“You mad at me for not texting back?” you ask playfully, squeezing his forearm. “Sorry. I was in a shitty mood after that game.”

“Why?” he asks, reluctantly softening up. You hardly ever show him this side of yourself. You’re usually a few drinks in if you do.

“Did you see that girl I yelled at?”

He nods, Adam’s apple bobbing with a nervous swallow.

“I know her,” you explain, “and she’s not very nice.”

“You’re not very nice,” Rafe jokes.

“Then imagine how bad she is if I’m the one calling her that,” you say with a soft laugh.

“What’d she do?” he asks.

As expected, you wave a dismissive hand, rolling your eyes, blocking him out.

“Nothing worth repeating,” you reply. You bring your hand up to his bicep, squeezing the hard muscle. “Did you go to the gym today?”

Rafe’s eyes dart down to his beer, the attention from you another hit to his bloodstream, a dopamine rush he’s been missing.

“Hit a PR,” he replies.

“Wow,” you flirt. “We should go to the gym together. You’d be a good personal trainer.”

“You couldn’t handle me,” he replies.

You bite your bottom lip, smiling up at him. Nobody gets your heart racing quite like Rafe does.

And it’s why you stay away from him. Getting involved with a brother’s friend is already a bad idea just because it could get messy, but really, it’s the effect he has on you that scares you away.

You’ve been burned. The summer before college started, you discovered your serious boyfriend had never really respected you. You’re pretty sure someone’s first love always leaves a wound. But finding out they were cheating on you the whole time leaves a scar that never closes back up all the way.

“I don’t know,” you reply, pushing away your thoughts. “Pretty sure you couldn’t handle me.”

Rafe’s pink lips part as he looks down again. He shuffles in place so faintly that it’s nearly imperceptible.

“Not like you’d give me a chance to try,” he mumbles with a defeated smile.

No. You wouldn’t. Because the more you get to know Rafe, a man who at first seems hard and aggressive, but really just wears his heart on his sleeve, the more you can see yourself falling for him.

His intensity is overwhelming. It’s something you don’t see in most people. He’s a beautiful rarity of a man and you stay far away from any kind of real intimacy with him, because while you can hook up with other guys with no attachments, tangling yourself up with Rafe would make you susceptible to another wound.

“You know you could get any girl you want, right?” you say to him, voice gently dropping into a serious tone you don’t often use with him.

His phone buzzes in a staccato. He pulls it out of his pocket. Damn it.

“Hey, I’m here,” she says when he answers.

“You’re here?” he blankly repeats.

“You invited someone?” you tease. “And you’re standing here flirting with me? Shameful.”

You offer him a smile to show him you’re kidding around. The dull sting you feel from knowing he’s probably talking to a girl is a good reminder of why you keep him at an arm’s length.

It may not be reasonable to be a little annoyed, considering you’re always running around with different guys right in front of him, but you can’t help it.

Rafe hangs up, a tinge of regret pinching his chest. It took a few seconds with you to realize his spitefulness just fucked things up.

“Go get your girl,” you say with raised brows, stepping aside. “I need a drink.”

“Hey, it’s…” Rafe’s face pinches with concern, leaning to be closer to you. “Don’t be pissed off at me.”

“Pissed off?” You usually do a great job feigning indifference around him. You hope he doesn’t somehow see the crack in your armor.

“It’s that girl,” he replies. “The one from…”

“The game?” you say soberly.

Rafe hates the way your smile drops. The way your eyes search his face for an explanation.

“Whatever,” you reply after a beat. “Do what you want.”

It’s kind of a sick thrill to have the upperhand for once. He’s flustered when you tease, but now, your eyes are sharp with frustration, your lips turned down in a scowl that shouldn’t be as adorable as it is.

“You sure?” he says. You nod curtly.

“Not like I’m your girlfriend or anything.”

He’s sure you say it just to twist the dagger already lodged in his heart. It works.

⫘⫘⫘

Your stomach is in a knot. You’re at the back of the living room, purposely as far away from Rafe as you can be.

And she’s there, looking up at him with a sickeningly bright smile. The same smile she used on your ex. The same smile you’re sure she wore when she texted you how it’d been ‘weighing on her soul’ that she’s been sneaking around with him.

It was all bullshit. You know she was proud to play a hand in your heartbreak. She never looked torn up about it at all. If she did, she wouldn’t have provoked you at your past match.

Missed, she’d said mockingly. It took everything in you not to hit her.

Again, you’re inches away from doing it. Every minute she stays here, you get closer. You wouldn’t normally be angry at the woman your boyfriend cheated with if she didn’t know. If she was a stranger, she wouldn’t have owed you any loyalty.

But she knew. She was your friend.

You’ve been trying not to care anymore. You started this year with the intention to leave all the high school shit behind and have fun and not give your heart to a man. Not for a long time.

But seeing her brings it all back.

“What’s up?” you hear. You look up at your brother.

He knows how your relationship ended. When he heard what your ex did to you, he offered to beat the shit out of him, but no amount of revenge ever felt like it could undo your pain.

He never met your ex-friend. He has no idea who the woman Rafe is flirting with is.

“The music sucks,” you reply, wincing as the bass reverberates through the room.

“You always had shitty taste,” he replies. You crack a smile. It falls when you remember how he’d said the same about your ex, long before the breakup.

“I need a breather,” you say.

It doesn’t happen very often, so when you see worry wash over your big brother’s face, it jolts you a little.

“You okay?” he asks.

“Yeah,” you lie. “Just need to spare my eardrums.”

He huffs a laugh, gently pushing you as you step away from him.

⫘⫘⫘

Come upstairs.

Rafe stares down at the text from you, sent three minutes ago. He looks up at the girl he invited as she comes back to him, arm linked with a friend she’d called to join the party.

He’s stiff as they make introductions. Then he tells them he’ll be right back.

Rafe’s bedroom is lived in, but it’s not quite messy. Clothes are strewn across an open drawer and on the back of his desk chair, but his textbooks are neat on the shelf and his bed is made.

You turned on his dim nightstand lamp. You stare ahead at the calendar on his closet door, practices and games written in black pen.

You lean against the headboard, squeezing your fingers, teetering towards crying. It’s a sick joke to like a guy again just to watch the same woman enamour him.

The door opens with a soft click, music spilling in for a moment.

Rafe has dreamed of this, coming up to see you in his bed. But in his dreams, you’re not staring at him like he just massively fucked up.

He doesn’t say a word. He only looks at you with confusion.

“I take it back,” you say, sitting up. “I don’t want her here.”

“What?” he says.

“Tell her to leave.”

Hope warms his core. Are you jealous?

“It’s my house,” he answers flippantly, giving you the same blasé attitude you’ve always given him.

You scoff. He crosses the room and sits at the foot of his bed, the mattress sinking with his weight. He’s never heard this thinness in your voice before.

“Can you just do it? Please?” you say shakily.

“What happened between you two?”

“You know what?” you scoff frustratingly, swinging your legs over the edge. “Fuck it. I’ll just go.”

“Stop,” he says sternly. “Tell me.”

He may have never seen you this vulnerable, but you’ve never seen him this mad. At least, not at you.

You thought Rafe had a soft spot for you. It hurts that it doesn’t seem to be there anymore. But then he sighs, head tilting slightly as he takes your hand.

“If you– you…” he begins, words fast and tumbling together. You’ve noticed he stammers when he’s on edge. “If you need me to kick her out, then, fine.”

“Really?” you say.

He sighs your name in exhausted resignation, looking up at the ceiling. You’re not jealous. You just really don’t like this girl. It has nothing to do with him and that hurts.

He nods in response. He knows you know he’d do anything for you.

Despite your instinct telling you to call an end to the conversation, the warmth of his hand on yours is piercing. You look down at your lap, turning his big hand over, calluses on his fingertips similar to yours from volleyball.

He gazes at you, his pulse picking up as your eyelashes stay low over your eyes, blinking quickly.

“I had a boyfriend,” you say quietly. “He cheated on me. With her.”

Rafe’s body goes cold. The irritation he was feeling has been replaced by biting guilt. He would’ve told her not to even bother coming in if you had just shared the truth.

“I didn’t know,” he murmurs. The shame is worse with every second that passes. He got what he wanted; he hurt you. And he hates himself for it.

“Yeah,” you say. You find his eyes, bottomless seas of blue. “There’s a lot about me you don’t know.”

“I don’t want it to be like that,” he admits. “And I make it pretty damn obvious.”

You look down again, huffing a quiet laugh.

“Yeah, you do,” you reply.

You’ve always felt a sense of control over Rafe, but it’s chipping away, pieces being taken from you and given to him. You shouldn’t have opened this wound. Because now, you just want to smother it with temporary bandages.

Rafe’s jaw tenses as he watches your hand on his. Silence settles between you, your breaths heavy, the music muffled.

He’s not sure what’s next.

“Don’t tell anyone,” you say.

“I won’t,” he rasps.

“Not about that,” you say. “Well… yeah, about that. But I meant about this.”

You shift to straddle him, the backs of your thighs resting on his lap. He meets your eyes as your noses nearly brush together.

You lean in. His breath stops when your lips meet his.

His heart-rate skyrockets. Fuck. This is really happening. His hands find your thighs, fingers pressing into your flesh.

You gently grind up against him as your kisses grow hungrier, mouths opening, breaths shortening.

You take him in, the smell of his aftershave and the taste of his tongue, as your arms link around his broad shoulders. You already feel better, feeling him hold you and kiss you like this.

He’s getting hard. It makes fire swirl in your stomach.

“Tell me,” you whisper against his mouth, desperate to feel even better, “how bad you want me.”

“You’re all I fucking think about,” he admits breathily.

“Which parts of me do you think about?”

“Everything,” he groans. “Fucking everything.”

You wish he would’ve just said something physical to solidify this as the casual hook-up it is. You can’t handle it being more.

“We’ll keep this a secret, okay?” you whisper.

“I know.” Rafe kisses you again, willing to say anything just to keep this going.

You gently push his shoulders so he lies back. Clothes are clumsily shoved off, kisses grow messy, and once you feel all of him, your head swims with euphoria, blocking out the impending regret.

You stay on top to at least hold onto some of the control you have left.

He comes with a groan, clinging onto your waist with trembling fingers as if you’ll run away from him.

But you do run away. It’s over and you sit up and scramble to put your clothes on again, the high gone, the crash on its way.

“Shit,” you whisper.

Rafe’s smile fades, his chest heaving. He sits up.

“Why are you acting like you regret it?” he asks.

He wants to give you his shirt, stay in bed with you, trace his fingers over your skin and tell you how badly he’s always wanted you.

You look at him with furrowed brows.

“We can’t tell anyone.”

“You already said that,” he mutters. “It’s not like we have to give details, but… nobody’s going to lose their shit if we’re together. Your brother isn’t like that.”

“No,” you shake your head. “This was just sex.”

It’s not a sudden break. His heart cracks slowly. It’s a fracture, spreading through his chest. He’s empty.

“So, I’m just…” He scoffs, tongue jutting under his cheek. “I’m just another one of the guys you do this to.”

“Don’t,” you say softly. “I told you I don’t date.”

You did, but he thought he was different.

You stand, smoothing your hair.

“Because of one asshole?” he murmurs, angrily picking up his t-shirt.

It hurts that something you told him in a vulnerable moment is ammo now. He’s being harsh and you know you are, too, but it’s the last thing you need right now.

“Don’t bring it up again,” you say with a strain in your voice. “Any of it. I knew I…”

Your throat starts to feel raw as you pace past him towards the door, desperate to get home and be swallowed in your blankets. Alone. Like you should be. Not chasing temporary relief in hook-ups.

“What did you know?” Rafe says to your back, tone softened. His anger is gone. It takes one glimpse into your pain to erase his own. He just wants to make you feel better.

“I knew I couldn’t trust you,” you murmur, staring at the door handle. “I can’t trust anyone.”

You leave. You gave him what he thought he wanted most, but he can see now that this hollow version of having you is the last thing he’d ever want.

You’ve ticked him off your list. You’re done. He’s in your rearview now, a quick hook-up that you wish you didn’t have.

⫘⫘⫘

You’ve been home for less than five minutes when your phone buzzes with a text from Rafe.

Make it home okay?

You swallow hard and respond: yes. didn’t mean to freak out. friends?

Rafe chews on his lip as he stares at his phone. He hasn’t left his bedroom.

yeah, he replies. There’s no point in pretending he doesn’t want you, even if you push him back into the role he’d been playing before.

Fine. He’ll be your fucking friend. He already lost his pride long ago. But tonight is the first time he’s truly lost the hope he had in you.

(the end)

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[fairestwriting]

Hello 👋 could I please request headcanons for leona's fem s/o defending him everytime one of the other characters start making backhanded comments to his face (if you've seen some of the vignettes you'll know what I mean) she doesn't reveal things like he's depressed or anything (tho he is) she just tells them it's shitty of them calling him lazy/selfish constantly without even knowing him personally

[Everyone treats leona like crap and I take personal offense to it >:( ]

You know i make fun of him on a regular basis. but theres a line thats gotta be drawn when it comes to leona bullying. cause damn this guy needs a real Break he cant even have issues in peace

𐙚 Leona Kingscholar

Before you got closer to him, there’s a fair chance the comments didn’t even stand out to you at all. It always felt a little unfair, yes, but not in a way that was particularly shocking, they were all just rude comments like any other. Back when you weren’t quite friends yet, and maybe even at the start of your friendship, you might have interjected with a simple ”hey, he’s not that bad” or "you don’t need to be rude about it”. It was just a gesture of basic politeness then, something the people around you seemed to lack.

But obviously, your perception of those interactions, and the way you see Leona’s situation itself, soon went through a rather radical change. Possibly even before you two started dating, or even before he “told you too much” — His own words, mumbled dismissively but bitterly, the day he came back after spending a weekend with his family and then proceeded to complain for a little longer than usual — As he warmed up to you, you started to notice things about him more. You started to see the spark of actual passion he has in his eyes during his club activities, the level of detail he gets into when analyzing things, the precise way he moved his chess pieces when you two played...

Above all, though, you started to notice how he often looked actually tired when he took part in any of the “slacking” he’s so infamous for. Learning the littlest bit more about his family life just worked as the final piece of the puzzle you’d been putting together without even noticing — And then, other people’s “rudeness” started to sound like something much more cruel. It didn’t help that he never seemed to react to it whenever he overheard others gossiping, or whenever you told him about the things you heard. “Why doesn’t he care?” The thought would echo in your mind for ages, trying to understand him through the tiny slivers of vulnerability he didn’t mean to show.

Now, as his girlfriend, you feel you just can’t let people say whatever they want, and you feel it more strongly than you ever have. ”Why don’t you mind your own business instead of talking about someone you don’t really know?” You snap back on instinct when one of your classmates, who was in Savanaclaw, comments on how lazy their dorm leader is. Their mouth closes instantly, regardless if you’ve made your relationship public or not — You realize that, on top of all the negative treatment Leona got, it was also extremely rare for others to defend him in any way at all. Enough that even a response that simple elicits shock from others.

”You know, it’s crazy to see you hanging out with Leona like that. I never thought I'd see anyone get so excited to spend time with him.” You hear some other day, while spending time in Savanaclaw’s common area, sat right next to Leona, and it just makes your blood boil. He’s just half-glaring at your particularly cocky acquaintance, sighing like he’s heard it a million times before, which you know he probably has. ”Hey, make sure you don’t get too influenced, we don’t need another person who just sleeps all day—”

”Yeah, you’re right. This type of person can be such a pain. I’m so glad I don’t know anyone who’s, you know, actually like that.” You say through grit teeth, just barely holding back aggression, and in the corner of your vision, the subtle flash of surprise in Leona’s face only encourages you to continue. ”Imagine if like, the Magift team had this sort of player in it… the club would be done for.”

They stare at you with wide eyes, having very much picked up on the aggression. The entire room is silent, you refuse to break eye contact, arms firmly crossed. ”Well, I mean…” The student stammers, but then, Leona himself speaks up for once. ”Did you not get her message? You need me to tell you to shut up instead?” He snaps, and they frantically shake their head, eyes fixed on the ground. You feel pride swelling in your chest, almost unable to hold back your smile.

”You know, Herbivore, if I needed a bodyguard I’d already have one.” He tells you later, in that same day. His tone has that snarky edge that feels like his default, but it’s much less pronounced than usual. You can even see a sort of softness in his eyes while he tries to play it cool. But needing and deserving are two different things, you think. As interactions like these repeat, with you defending him every time, you hope your message fully gets through to him, one day.

if you like my work you can support me by commissioning me or tipping me on ko-fi ── ᵎᵎ ✦

[multi-fandom-imagine]

hi, can I request a one shot for Benedict where they are best friends and yearning for one another? and she gets tired of waiting so she starts to spend time with others and he gets a bit jealous?

A/n: Jealous Benedict 👏 delicious.

Benedict Bridgerton had always been your dearest friend. The kind of friend who knew your favorite books by heart, who could tell what kind of day you were having just by the way you tied your bonnet, who always ensured you had a dance at every ball—even if it meant stealing you away from some lesser suitor. The man who would bring you tea the moment he saw weariness in your gaze.

And yet, for all his charm, for all the longing glances when he thought you weren’t looking, he never made a move. Never crossed that line between friendship and something more.

So you had grown tired of waiting.

It started as an innocent thing—accepting more invitations, laughing a little too freely in the company of others, letting your hand linger just a moment longer on the arms of your suitors. Nothing improper, but enough to be noticed. Enough to make Benedict notice.

And he did.

The first time was at Lady Danbury’s soiree. You had been speaking with Lord Avery, a charming, if not slightly dull, gentleman who had taken an interest in you. Benedict had been watching from across the room, his jaw tightening every time you let out a soft laugh.

The second time was at a picnic, where Mr. Wycliffe had offered to fetch you a glass of lemonade, his hand brushing yours as he passed it to you. You had seen Benedict tense beside you, his usually lighthearted demeanor shadowed by something darker.

But the final straw came at a ball, when you had danced—actually danced—with someone else. Lord Henshaw, a suitor who had been persistent in his attentions.

Benedict had watched you, his grip on his glass so tight you had feared it might shatter. And when the dance ended, when Lord Henshaw had led you off the floor with a lingering touch to your wrist, Benedict was suddenly at your side.

“May I have this dance?” he asked, his voice low, urgent.

You hesitated for only a moment before nodding, a soft bite of your lips feeling your heart slowly pound in your chest.

As he led you to the dance floor, his hand settling at your waist, you felt the tension thrumming beneath his touch.

“You’ve been rather occupied as of late,” he murmured, his lips close to your ear.

“I did not realize I needed your permission to enjoy an evening,” you countered, tilting your chin slightly.

His grip tightened. “You don’t.” A pause. “But I cannot stand it.”

Your breath hitched. “Stand what, Benedict?” Your voice was soft, hesitant.

His dark eyes bore into yours. “Watching you with them. Knowing they can hold your hand, steal your laughter, when I—” He exhaled sharply, shaking his head. “When I should be the one by your side.”

The confession hung between you, charged and heavy.

“You’ve had every opportunity, Benedict,” you whispered, searching his face. “And yet, you have done nothing.”

He swallowed hard. “Because I was a fool. A coward.”

You opened your mouth, but he shook his head.

“Not anymore,” he said, determination flickering in his eyes. “Tell me it’s not too late....please." He whispered.

Your heart pounded. Perhaps it should have been. Perhaps you should have turned away, let him suffer the way you had suffered.

But you had never been able to resist Benedict Bridgerton.

So instead, you simply whispered, “It depends on how well you dance.”

A slow, relieved smile spread across his lips before he spun you into the next turn, holding you closer than he ever had before.

[zznblr]

I’ve got a request, telling Yeonjun how handsome he is.

His lips, his smile, his face, his body, sigh……

[9:35pm] 𐙚 c.yj

ʚ♡⃛ɞ request | there's nothing you love more than making out with yeonjun ୨୧ yeonjun x fem!reader • suggestive • established relationship • 839 words reblogs n comments appreciated :)

in your eyes, yeonjun is always prettier when you haven’t seen him in a while. and yes, some might argue that a week isn’t that long but it truly does feel like forever to you when it comes to your boyfriend.

you’re standing giddily outside his front door, waiting, your hands stuffed in your coat pockets to stop yourself from pressing on his doorbell like a freak.

when he finally opens the door, you pounce on him, nearly knocking him over. you smother his face with kisses, eliciting a chuckle from him. “i missed you too,” he kisses you slowly and softly.

yeonjun pulls you inside, protecting you from the cold january air. he takes off your coat and your hat, hanging them on the coat rack by the door. he guides you towards the living room, where he as a whole spread of your favorite snacks laid out for your movie night. he turns off the overhead light while you make your way to the couch. when yeonjun returns to you, you scooch closer to him, to the point where you are practically sitting on him with how close your bodies are. if it was even possible, he pulls you closer to him and drapes a blanket over your bodies before pressing play on the movie.

you are barely paying attention to the film. you’ve seen it a million and ten times; you could quote every line in it. and besides, you had something far more interesting to look at. your eyes are glued onto yeonjun’s face. you eye him intently, taking in every part of him – the movie flaring on the lens of his thin frame glasses; the way his nose crinkles and his brows furrow every time there is something slightly repulsive on the screen; his pink lips falling back into their resting pout afterwards.

“are you going to keep staring at me, or are you actually going to watch the movie?” yeonjun pulls you out of your trance, not even taking his eyes off the screen.

“i’ve seen it before.” you reply, offhandedly.

he finally turns to face you. “but, you picked this movie.” he sighs, reaching over for the remote control on the coffee table. he pauses the film. “we can watch something else if you—” he stops mid sentence as you climb onto his lap, straddling him. “w-what are you doing?”

“you’re so pretty, you know?” you reach up to cup his face with both your hands. your thumb brushes over the plump skin of his cheeks. “so so pretty,” you continue; it’s almost like you are in a daze.

“thank you,” yeonjun chuckles. he wraps his arms around your waist as you settle in place.

you pull his face closer to yours, so that your foreheads meet. yeonjun cautiously closes the tiny gap between the two of you as he draws in for a kiss. his fingertips softly brush against your back. you run your tongue along his bottom lip and you can taste the butter from the popcorn that he was eating earlier. yeonjun’s lips part and you slip your tongue into his mouth.

your better senses are being slowly but surely defeated as you succumb to the sweetness of the kiss. yeonjun pulls back for just a short moment to catch his breath, and you can’t help but let out a whine of displeasure. you quickly close the distance between the two of you that he had so cruelly created.

your lips meet his once more while you pull yourself tighter against him. yeonjun’s hands trail down your back, slipping underneath your t-shirt. he tightens his grip on you, his nails sinking into your skin.

if you could, your lips would be attached to yeonjun’s for the rest of your life. you find it to be some sort of cosmic injustice that you can’t live off of him because by the way you are devouring his face, he seems like the only adequate source of sustenance for you. and even sometimes it doesn’t feel like enough. no matter how much he gives you, you always want more – more love, more closeness, more yeonjun. 

you are completely and absolutely obsessed with the way he kisses you. it’s filled with passion and lust and affection and gentleness and love.

love.

so much love. the same way you are captivated by yeonjun and his taste and his touch and his presence, he too is enamored by you and you can tell by the way he holds you closer to him and caresses you softly. you can tell by the way he is the person that could ever make you feel like your body is on fire. he knows every part of your body like he was the one who designed it. he knows just what to do and where to touch to make you lose your mind.

at last, you pull away from the kiss, your lips still touching. “god, i love you.” your breath ghosts against yeonjun’s lips.

“i love you too.”

[liliasenbyhusband]

Elizabeth Arden and Helena Rubinstein hate fucked

18+

In case it wasn’t clear by the title this is nsfw (especially the second part) so minors dni!!

Before I go on this rant I do want to say that I’ve only seen a couple of clips from this musical and have never fully seen it (if anyone has a link 👀). I do however listen to the soundtrack religiously and I’m a lesbian so I feel that qualifies me and makes me right about this.

Also please note this is about the characters and not the actual people!

Firstly their sexualities just cause I can:

I believe Helena Rubinstein is a lesbian, the only reason she ever entertained men is because that’s what was expected and needed to get where she wanted to get. In If I’d been a man she says “I love only men I can't caress” and that honestly sounds so much like someone experiencing comphet to me. Like only loving men you know you can’t have cause it brings you some solace that you at least still like men??? Of course we also have the absolute obsession with Elizabeth and like nothing is straight about that. On top of all of that in Forever Beautiful she very proudly talks about how Tamara De Lempicka had a crush on her which is also not very straight of her and then there is this little moment in No, Thank You where she talks to mr Paley about his wife that had me question if she’s fucking his wife… ngl… like the way she says “I insist, it’s sapphire, like her eyes” had me going like 🤨 “and how do you know that, ma’am???”.

I find Elizabeth Arden more difficult to place, I’m going to be honest. Of course the obsession with Helena is very fucking gay, it reminds me of the song ‘loathing’ from the wicked musical, so she is definitely sapphic. I believe she does like men as well though, like she was genuinely into her husband, I think. My gut is saying bisexual but with good arguments I could be persuaded of most other sapphic identities as well.

Now for the main event: they fucked.

They were obsessed with each other for half a century... HALF A CENTURY… that is a different kind of loathing like… that is a type of obsession that in and of itself is so fucking sapphic that I can’t even put it into words. Like they live in each other’s heads rent free. And when you think about someone that much, you can’t tell me that you don’t, at some level, want them. Once again think of the song ‘loathing’.. hate and love/lust are not opposite emotions, they are far closer to one another than one might think.

They caused themselves (and their businesses) so much damage just to be able to hinder the other. Imagine hating someone so much you want to make their life that much more difficult and will even shoot yourself in the foot for it. That in itself is so sexually and emotionally charged.. like she really means so much to you that you’d damage yourself just so she suffers too?? If that isn’t the gayest thing you ever heard then idk anymore.

The tension that comes from hating one another so severely and trying to continuously make life harder for the other person can so easily slip into something more sexually charged that you cannot convince me that during a specifically heated argument the sexual tension didn’t become too much for them. So they snapped and just let it all out. It was definitely rough and not pretty, I’m talking clashing teeth, fighting to have the upper hand (I believe Helena ends up winning) and torn up clothes. It would truly bring out their most feral side and any composure and grace they previously held goes out the window.

And once the dam broke the first time well.. let’s just say whenever life got too much and they needed to take it out on someone… their arguments turned into something more carnal.

Now let’s talk about Face to Face because that song is gay as all hell. What do you mean you wonder about what her favourite perfume and artists are??? Like the way they’re singing about one another in this song is the reason I first was like “oh they fucked”.

At the beginning of the song Helena complains about how she’s always been attached to her ‘rival’ but they’ve attached themselves to each other, no one forced them to remain enemies or to continue being petty and make life harder for the other. They could have detached at any point.

Also how they suddenly wanna share their struggles with one another??? GAY!!! And how they suddenly admit that maybe the other person is possibly just as good as they are because why else would they be able to annoy them this much??? SAPPHICS!!!

Now onto stealing each other’s confidant… like there is something so petty and so gay about that like why on earth do you want the person that is closest to her by your side? Is it because you want to get under their skin so badly that you’ll do anything?? Is it because it’s a way to have her closer to you without being closer? Or do you want to gain more knowledge about her??? No matter the answer, the outcome is so fucking gay and most definitely leads to hate sex. Like what do you mean you stole her husband to have as your right hand man??? That is so utterly bizar and is such a messy lesbian move. What are you trying to get to know about her that you need her husband as your right hand man 🤨.

Beauty in the world + the entire finale is so fucking gay. It’s basically like “yeah only us two know about when there was true beauty in the world” and like “we should just stay enemies for business” HELLO??? “Our secret” EXCUSE ME???. Maybe we helped the other survive/thrive??? What kind of gay ass shit????? Helena asking Elizabeth her opinion on her lipstick. The way Helena looks at Elizabeth when she sings “Eyes that glittered like a gem. The lovers we bewitched with them.” They definitely fucked.

“Strange with you I see it all again like new. A glimpse of beauty in the world.” SORRY??? I DON’T THINK ANYONE HAS EVER SAID ANYTHING AS ROMANTIC TO ME AS THIS.

The way they look back so fondly on their rivalry.. it really was a way to cope and survive and blow off steam and you cannot convince me that they didn’t hate fuck to help with that.

After that encounter they had sex one last time and for the first time it wasn’t purely hate filled but there was some softness and fondness there.

And lastly THE WAY HELENA APPLIES ELIZABETH’S LIPSTICK IN beauty in the world. LIKE THE WAY SHE SO GENTLY WIPES IT AWAY THEN APPLIES IT AGAIN?? The first time I saw that I nearly screamed and died. If that moment can’t convince you that they slept together then nothing can.

That’s it’s for now. I wanted to add more clips as proof etc but I can only add one sooo I chose this one

(This rant was inspired by a reaction from @yourbasicqueerie)

[emsdevs]

a/n: I had a nonnie ask for 25 with Joseph Woll specifically asking for fluff but I used the ask to ask them if they'd be okay with an angsty prompt so if you sent that in, this one is for you!! I can't wait to get through some more of these! 🧡

Prompt 25: “They were there. You weren’t.”

Birthday Celly 2025 Masterlist | masterlist

You never thought you’d run into Joseph Woll again, but here you are, staring at a man who left you high and dry almost ten years ago. You had moved on since then, found a nice guy, settled down, and had a couple of kids. Somehow, though, your past is looking you in the eye right now, and you wish there was some way to escape it. When you opened your front door, the last thing you expected was to be met with a skeleton you thought you’d hidden so deep in your closet it would never see the light of day, and yet, here he is, looking oddly hopeful. 

“What are you doing here, Joseph?” you whisper rather harshly, pulling the door closer to your body, even though your husband was away on business and your kids had been asleep for a couple of hours now. You see hurt flash across his eyes. You hadn’t called him Joseph since you two were kids.

“I needed to see you, to talk with you,” he takes a tentative step forward, but when he sees you flinch, he moves back to his original spot.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” your eyebrows are furrowed, and even without raising your voice, he isn’t sure he’s ever seen you this upset.

“Can I please just come inside for a minute?” he pleads. You glance behind you to be sure your kids haven’t woken up, and once you are sure they are still sound asleep, you open the door wider and step aside.

“Okay, just… make it quick, please.” He steps inside, letting you shut the door before following you to the dining room. You gesture for him to sit down at the table, following suit. The two of you sit in silence for a moment before you have enough of it, “Joseph if you have something to tell me, can you please get on with it? It’s late.”

“To be completely honest,” he takes a deep breath, “I came to ask for a second chance.”

“Jo-”

“Look I know it’s been a long time, but leaving you has always been my biggest regret. I’ve missed you every day since I left. I know it probably means nothing now that so much time has passed, but I had to come try. I couldn’t keep living my life in Toronto knowing what I left behind.”

“You’re right, Joseph. It means nothing now. If you told me this nine years ago, things would be different, but I can’t give you what you want now.”

“What do you mean you can’t? Sweetheart, please-” he gets cut off by tiny footsteps padding down the hall.

“Mommy?” Joseph swings his head in your direction, looking as shocked as you probably did when you opened the door.

“Give me a minute,” you stand, making your way to your daughter’s room before putting her back to bed. A nightmare had woken her up. Soon, you’re back in the seat across from Jo.

“You have a daughter?” his eyes are wide, and you think you can see some tears beginning to form in them.

“Two actually,” that’s when Jo notices you playing with the diamond on your ring finger. That’s funny. You had always told him you wanted an opal engagement ring, never having liked how transparent diamonds could be. 

“You’re married?” he lets his eyes shoot back up to yours, “You moved on?”

“I had to Jo. For me,” you feel slightly guilty for some reason.

“How could it be that easy for you?” he looks hurt, offended at the fact that you were able to leave him in the past.

“He was here. You weren’t,” you let a little bit of spite seep through your words, hoping it would hurt him a fraction of the amount you felt when he left.

“That’s not fair,” he starts.

“No, Joseph. What isn’t fair is you leaving me behind like I was nothing for an NHL paycheck. I moved on.”

“Did you? Because from what I can tell, this guy doesn’t know you at all.”

“Oh, and you do?”

“I do! I know you probably secretly hate that diamond on your finger because you would’ve wanted an opal. I know you’d never paint the walls this shade of beige. You always wanted colors, real colors, that make the room feel brighter. I know you wish there was a bouquet on this table right now because you love fresh flowers. I know one of those girls in there is named Margot, and if I had to guess the other is named Maeve because those were always your top two options for girl names. I know if I went to the master bathroom right now it would probably have a Jack and Jill sink because you think there’s not enough counter space for two people otherwise. Don’t tell me I don’t know you when I know this isn’t what you would’ve wanted. Where even is this guy, huh? How often is he home?” he takes a moment to catch his breath, but all of your emotions hit you at once. Before you know it, you’re crying in the arms of a man you thought you’d never see again.

When you finally calm down, you decide to be honest with Joseph, “Never,” you say it so lowly he almost doesn’t hear.

“Never what, baby?”

“He’s never here. The girls are used to it now. They barely talk to him when he is. I couldn’t even tell you the last time he kissed me Jo, or even took me out to dinner. You’re right. He doesn’t know me. He never has, and I’m miserable. The only thing keeping me going are Margot and Maeve.” Jo feels his heart soar knowing he got the names right, but he doesn’t let it cloud his judgment. 

“Let’s get you out of it then,” he says it like it’s a fact, like he knows you’ll say yes. You suppose he does know you better than anyone because you agree quicker than you’d like to admit.

“Okay,” you risk looking up at him.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I’ll work on starting the divorce process tomorrow. I can’t live like this. Ellis can keep doing whatever he wants without me and the girls tying him down.” 

For the first time in a long time, you felt hopeful. You were truly happy, and you had a sneaking suspicion Joseph had a lot to do with it. You could only hope he’d stick around this time.

taglist: @heartsforjh @macklin-celbrini-71 @dancerbailey3  @joeyspuckbunny  @beenucks  @wolls-angel  @lukey-pookie-hughes43  @t0xicinvasion @nadicakes143  @wollgirlie

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[genderqueer-miharu]

Some observations:

For some reason the male prisoners are the only ones with the intertwined zeros in their numbers.

The keys designs are interesting but i'm not really a key expert so i can't say if the designs are specific models or something. I do have a few things to say on some of them.

Kotoko's key has a diamond in the middle and triangles to the sides. Mayyyyybe this could be an allusion to her victims but it's hard to say.

Someone has already pointed out that mikoto's key looks like.

The three circles on amane's key remind me of the clouds that are part of her cult's logo and the clouds seen in The Purge March.

Mahiru's key seems to be a birdcage key

Fuuta's key is bent for some reason. Maybe this could be an allusion to kotoko's attack?

Haruka's key is broken in such a way that one circle is separated from the other two. Makes sense considering what happened in his story.

The keys are cool but tbh the numbers are my favorite detail:

The 1 in kotoko's number is close together with one of the zeroes, while the other one is further away. Kinda makes it look like the 1 is protecting the 0 from the other one.

The zeroes in Mikoto's are together onviously making an allusion to John. I wonder if the nine being further away symbolizes something else. Maybe his victim?

Don't actually have much to say about Amane's number except that it looks like one of the zeroes is slipping away from the image.

Kazui's is very fun, the overlapping zeroes look like rings tangled together, they look both like engagement rings and the big rings magicians use for the trick where they try to separate them. Wait...separate...an engagement...? Oh Kazui what did you do~

Nothing much on Mahiru's number other than the 6 and one 0 being together while the other 0 is separate from them. Again maybe pointing at a 3rd party involved in this whole thing.

Shidou's is another wierd one, i was thinking the zeroes here were supposed to resemble engagement rings again like in Kazui's, but i don't really understand why the 5 is separated from them. Maybeeee shidou's the 5? If so then i don't really get the zeroes.

Mu's zeroes are together though they don't overlap, while once again the main number is separate. I was thinking the zeroes representes Mu's group turning on her, but i was also thinking they look like eyes, which might instead be a reference to Rei finding out about what Mu has been doing (see that scene in It's Not My Fault)

Fuuta's is another one that's really fun. It seems to follow on the same concept as Mu's but this time the zeroes are intertwined, which i can't concretely say what it means in this context.

Yuno's is one of my favorites, the zeroes are closer but not as much as Mu's, while the 2 is much closer to one of them than the rest of the numbers. I think it really encapsulates Yuno's attitude and feelings regarding relationships and her cold personality. The zeroes are together showcasing some kind of closeness together, but still there's a distance between them, despite how close they might be. Also as a last observation because if i'm the only one who thought this but i can't unsee it, but the 2 being so close to the 0...kiiiinda looks like a pregnant woman's sillhouette?? I feel like this is just me i might be grasping at straws but i couldn't unsee it once i did.

Haruka's is my favorite. It kinda follows the same idea as what i mentioned with his key. The two zeroes once again are intertwined while the main number is separate from them...but this time is much MUCH further away from them, like damn this is the same thing they've done with the other numbers but this time they put a lot more distance between them and put the 1 all alone. The zeroes are even slipping away from the image. Amazing.

[Image description: Images showcasing the countdown for trial 3 in Milgram. The images show different types of keys for all the prisoners along with their numbers from 10 to 1. Some of the keys are broken. All the images have the text written "Milgram Season.3 - 2025.02.12 - Coming Soon". /End description]

Milgram trial 3 countdown

[stollengoods]

Broken Promises

REQ. Thagyu Angst & Smut

Thanos x Nam-gyu x Fem! Reader

Warnings: Physical and emotional abuse, Cursing, Homophobic slurs, Threesome, & Smut.

Summary: You’re two best friends are always there to comfort you when your current boyfriend says something insulting and/or hurtful to you. One day your boyfriend gets a bit physical with you and when you tell Nam-gyu and Thanos this, they tell you he doesn’t deserve you and proposes for you to join their relationship to become a throuple.

————

You sat on the couch with your boyfriend, John. His arm laid over the back of the couch as his legs were propped up on the coffee table in front of you guys. You had convinced him to watch the movie ‘White Chicks’ with you.

It was one of your favorites and he’s never seen it so you were excited, especially since he didn’t seem to be in one of his moods today. You guys laughed here and there, until you made a comment that changed the rest of your evening.

“And to think, if that dog wouldn’t have slipped out the window none of this would’ve happened.” You giggled, looking over at your boyfriend.

His eyebrows scrunched in confusion as he looked over at you, he didn’t say anything so you continued to explain yourself.

“Like at the beginning the dog going out the window of the car is what caused the car crash and made the two women get “scars” on their faces so they couldn’t-“

He cut you off, the crease in his eyebrows furrowing, “What are you even saying ?”

You broke eye contact with him, starring at your hands.

He grunted, “See this is why I don’t want to introduce you to my friends. You say shit thinking you sound so clever and witty but you just sound stupid.”

You felt the pit in your stomach sink as your heart deflated at his words. Your eyes prickled with tears as you focused your attention back to the movie. You tried to focus on the plot as your favorite scene was about to come up, were the main characters were about to breakdance against the two mean girls but all you could think about was the words your boyfriend had just spoken to you.

Your boyfriend could sense your sudden change in mood and tried to ignore it at first until he put his arm around you and felt your body stiffen instead of leaning into his side.

He sighed in annoyance, “Are you seriously mad about what I said earlier ?”

You didn’t look at him, “No. I’m just feeling tired.” You tried playing it off like you weren’t hurt at all by his words because you knew he didn’t actually care and would most likely ridicule you more so you just tried to defuse the situation.

Out of the corner of your eye you saw him nod his head and then his face crept closer as he pressed a kiss to your cheek. You flinched away as you felt his lips graze your skin and looked at him in a peculiar way.

Instantly you regretted your unconscious reaction, when he pursed his lips and looked up at the ceiling in irritation. You really wanted this night to just be over with and go as smoothly as possible without you guys having another big argument but you couldn’t make yourself cozy up to your boyfriend especially when he made you feel so small around him.

“You can’t take any fucking criticism…”

You swallowed the lump that was forming in your throat, because you knew were this was headed and you couldn’t take anymore verbal cruelty from him.

You stood up making your way around the couch to grab your keys from the rack next to the front door but your boyfriend was faster than you and beat you too it. He snatched them off the hook and you squeezed your eyes shut both in anger and to keep yourself from crying on the spot.

“John.” You said firmly, holding your palm out, “Give me my keys.”

You didn’t want to look into his eyes, “Where do you think you’re going ?” He stated with a tone of cockiness.

“John.” You said, raising your voice a bit.

He laughed in amusement as he walked over into the kitchen area. Your hands balled into fists as you followed him into the kitchen, when he turned around you finally got the courage to look into his eyes.

“John.” You seethed through clenched teeth, “Give me my fucking keys. Now.”

He smirked, his eyes full of enjoyment as he jangled them above your head. “What ? These ?”

You looked up at the keys as he continued, “They’re right here, just grab them.”

Your rage overpowered your feelings of sadness as you snatched his arm yanking it down.

He hissed at the feeling of your nails sinking into his skin, “Aish you fucking-“ He used his free arm along with his body strength to throw you off of him and to the side.

You let out a yelp of pain as the island countertop rammed into your lower back and you instantly fell to the floor. Your boyfriend got down to your level, showing you his arm. “Look what you did to me you little bitch.” He pointed to the indents your nails dug into him along with a few tiny scratch marks resulting from him throwing you off of him.

His hand trembled with rage and you could see for a second in his fury filled eyes he wanted to really hit you but decided against it as he stood up.

“Go see your faggot ass friends.” He spat, “See if I fucking care.” He threw the keys at you and you groaned as you felt the impact of it hit your stomach.

He walked away from you still talking, “… Just be sure to tell them the whole damn story this time !” He shouted before slamming the bedroom door behind him.

————

On the drive over to your friend’s place you allowed yourself to finally cry. Surprisingly, the blurriness from your tears didn’t make it hard for you to see as you were sort of used to this routine by now. Your boyfriend has a short temper and usually says something insulting making you leave and go see your friends.

Your friends, Nam-gyu and Thanos, have met your boyfriend once and never again after that. It was when you guys first started dating and your boyfriend insisted that he meet your friends. Especially since they were both guys, you tried to tell him that they were dating each other but he wasn’t having it.

Mostly due to the fact that you told him you had originally met Thanos on a dating app. He asked how that was possible if he was gay and you told him that they were both bisexual. That’s when he insisted on meeting your two guy friends.

After the hang out with your friends and boyfriend, your boyfriend confessed to you that he felt very uncomfortable around them. He accused them of flirting with him and trying to hit on him in front of you.

You were baffled because you were there and didn’t get any hints or signs of either one of them hitting on him but your boyfriend insisted that they were and that you were too naïve to see it.

You never told Nam-gyu or Thanos about what your boyfriend had said but they didn’t have positive things to say about your boyfriend either. Nam-gyu told you that the vibe he got from your boyfriend gave him a similar one to a boyfriend he dated back in college.

The boyfriend turned out to be a raging dick but Nam-gyu said that it could be nothing and he could just be projecting. Fast forward three months and seven visits to their house later, you come to realize maybe he was onto something.

You wiped your tears as you made your way up the steps to their home, using the spare key they gave you to let yourself in. You heard the tv on in the living room as you turned the corner to greet them.

Thanos was butt ass naked on the couch with his head thrown back as Nam-gyu was kneeled between his legs sucking him off.

“I’m so sorry.” You panicked, almost running into the wall beside you, covering your face with your hands.

Thanos head snapped forward as he blinked a couple of times before he pulled Nam-gyu off of him by his hair.

Nam-gyu looked up at him and saw that Thanos was pale in the face. He followed his gaze and nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw you trying to hide your face with your arms.

“Oh my fuck- y/n-“ Nam-gyu said startled from your presence as he began collecting his clothes and pulling them on along with his boyfriend Thanos.

“I’m so so sorry.” You apologized, your voice strained and cracking from all the crying you did on the way there.

Nam-gyu pulled your arms away from your face and you peeled your eyes open to see him and Thanos now fully clothed.

“You’re crying.” Nam-gyu stated, as his hands cupped the sides of your face and used his thumbs to wipe the tears from under your eyes.

You sniffled and Nam-gyu instantly gave you a hug as you wrapped your arms around him, crying into the crook of his neck. You felt Thanos chest against your back as he hugged you from behind, his arms wrapping around you and Nam-gyu.

“Shhh…” Nam-gyu whispered, “It’s okay. You’re with us, everything’s going to be okay.”

Once you lifted your head from his shoulder, they both released you, giving you some space. “I should go, I don’t mean to interrupt-“

You turned to leave and Thanos blocked you, “Y/n don’t be silly, we’re your friends, we want to be there for you.”

“I know.” You chocked out, “… but there’s a time and a place. You guys have your own lives to worry about I shouldn’t-“

Nam-gyu put a hand on your shoulder, “Life isn’t always perfect, theres not always going to be the perfect time or place to do something and that is okay. Talk to us y/n, let us help you.”

“Yeah.” Thanos chimed in and you looked up at him, “If you leave now, we’re only going to worry more.”

You wiped your nose with the cuff of your sleeve while nodding your head, “Okay.” You replied meekly.

Nam-gyu ushered you over to the couch, him sitting to your right as Thanos sat on your left.

“Now.” Nam-gyu said, using one of his hands to rub your back, “Tell us what happened.”

You told them what had started the fight between you two and how you tried to grab your keys to leave but your boyfriend snatched them before you could. Nam-gyu and Thanos gave a each other a look when you paused at the part were your boyfriend was basically dangling your keys in front of you.

You didn’t continue for a few seconds and Nam-gyu decided to speak up. “Y/n… ?”

Your head snapped over to meet his eyes, “Right. Sorry.” You blew out a breathe before continuing, “I then grabbed his arm to get my key but then he suddenly threw me against the countertop. I felt a sharp pain in my back resulting in my knees buckling and having me fall to the floor.”

“Wait.” Thanos deep voice sounded upset, “He hit you ?!”

“No.” You licked your dry lips, “H-he threw me in a result to me grabbing his arm.”

“Y/n, hit you or threw you, who gives a fuck, he still put his fucking hand on you !” Thanos was in disbelief.

You turned to him, your eyes trying to blink back tears, “Technically I put my hands on him first and if you saw his arm I did leave a few scratches- he was bleeding-“

Thanos ran a hand down his face before burying his head in his hands.

You felt a hand on your shoulder and turned to face Nam-gyu. “Y/n what Thanos is trying to say is, there is never, in no circumstance, a reason a man should ever lay hands on a woman. Ever.”

“But what about self defense ?”

“That’s not fucking self defense.” You heard Thanos say, “That’s him being a pussy.”

Thanos lifted the back of your shirt to reveal a dark purple bruise starting to form on your lower back. He lightly grazed it with his finger.

“What are you doing ?” You asked trying to see what he was looking at.

“Y/n… this looks awful…”

Nam-gyu got up from his seat and kneeled down beside him, “Oh my.”

You saw Nam-gyu’s expression fill with concern and instantly felt a sense of shame for trying to defend your boyfriend’s actions.

Nam-gyu resumed his position next to you on the couch again and held your hands in his. “If a man ever touches you it should be with such care and grace y/n.” He whispered as his thumbs ran over the top of your hands.

You were so overwhelmed with emotions at the moment. Shame, guilt, anger, sadness, but when Nam-gyu or Thanos would touch you; you felt love and tenderness. You felt that they truly meant what they said and so when you followed that feeling by attaching your lips to Nam-gyu’s you hadn’t realized what you’d done until you felt Nam-gyu instantly pull away.

Your hands slipped out of his hands to cover your mouth, “Oh- oh my- I- that was…”

You looked over to see Thanos and he looked just as shocked as Nam-gyu had.

“I-I should go.” You quickly got up but Thanos pulled you back down by your arm.

“Thanos I’m so sorry- I shouldn’t have done that-“

Thanos cut you off by leaning in and kissing you, your eyes shot open in surprise until they slowly blinked closed.

He pulled away and you looked at him through half lidded eyes, your head a bit dazed.

“Y/n, can I ask you something ?” Thanos said, his hands now holding yours.

“Anything.” You breathed.

You saw a small smile form on his face, “Have you ever thought about polyamory ?”

You finally snapped out of it, looking down at his hands that caressed yours, “In what sense ? Like a threesome ?”

You heard Nam-gyu burst out laughing behind you as Thanos’s smile widened trying to keep it together, “Well… not exactly. I mean like being in an actual relationship with more than one person.”

“Are you saying I should suggest this to John ?” You tilted your head in confusion, “I think that would just make things worse, he already thinks I’m cheating on him. If I suggest we be open to dating other people while dating each other he’d be furious.”

“No, that’s not-“ Thanos sighed, “I’ll just say it.”

He interlocked one of your hands as he began, “We wanted to wait until you would break up with that asshole to propose this, because at the end of the day we want you to make your own decisions.”

You squinted your eyes, “Okay…”

“Y/n. You are truly one of our best friends and we hate to see you stuck in a relationship like this with someone who doesn’t know your worth.”

Nam-gyu hugged you from behind, wrapping his arms around your waist as he rested his chin on your shoulder.

Thanos gave him a wink before continuing, “And we were wondering if you would be apart of our relationship ?”

You chuckled in disbelief, “Wait. Huh ?”

“You heard him.” Nam-gyu said, as you felt his fingers began to tickle your stomach.

You instantly snapped your hands away from Thanos as you laughed hysterically. You tried to pry his hands away but he was relentless, you pushed back against him trapping his back against the couch as you flipped over on top of him.

“You fucking asshole !” You panted, giggling while slapping his chest repeatedly with the cuff of your sleeve.

He chuckled, trying to block your attacks with his hands. “Okay, I’m sorry ! I’m sorry !”

You eased up on him, smirking with victory.

“So what you do say ?” Nam-gyu asked with half a smile on his face.

You paused for a second trying to remember what you guys were talking about, “You guys want me to join your relationship, in like what way ?”

“Like this.” Nam-gyu grabbed your wrist and pulled you closer on top of him as he held your face only a few centimeters from his. You could feel his breathe on your lips and you swallowed.

“So…” he licked his lips and you felt it graze your bottom lip slightly, “What do you say ?”

For the second time that night you kissed Nam-gyu and this time he didn’t pull away. His hands adjusted you better on top of him as you pulled away for a split second to slip off your shirt.

You felt a pair of hands grip the hem of your sweats and shimmy them down your thighs until they settled around your knees. The cold air hit your ass and clit making you shiver. Thanos ran a finger over your slit and sighed. He then inserted one finger, quickly adding another not long after and you began pushing back against him lightly.

You placed a hand on Nam-guy’s chest to hold yourself up and he gripped your wrist dragging your hand to be placed over his throat.

“Please ?” Nam-gyu begged, his eyes pleading with you.

You lightly gripped his throat, surprised by how much you enjoyed doing it to a man, usually you were the one on the receiving end.

Nam-gyu’s eyes rolled back as they fluttered closed and you felt yourself aroused at the sight. You forgot about the man behind you until you felt his fingers pull out of you. You whimpered, arching your back whining for more.

You felt his bare chest against your back as he whispered into your ear, “Do you want me Y/n ?”

You nodded your head and he slapped your bum, his voice a bit husky now. “Speak.”

“Y-yes, I want you, please Thanos…” The grip on Nam-guy’s neck loosened as your head fell into the crook of his neck.

Thanos got up from the couch and removed the rest of his clothing. He climbed back over you, gripping his dick and teasing your clit with it before pushing himself in. Your chest was now fully against Nam-gyu’s as you arched your back even more for Thanos.

Thanos started off slowly, his hands on either side of your hips, helping you stay in place. Your chin is propped up on Nam-gyu’s chest and would rub against his skin as Thanos sped up his thrusts. Nam-gyu used his finger to move the hair away from your face and your glazed over eyes watched as he did so.

Your hand fumbled around until you felt Nam-gyu’s hard on through his pants, stroking it. His hips bucked up at the friction releasing a whimper. Thanos stilled his movements in you, reaching over and seized your wrist in each on of his hands. He continued pounding into you and your lower body trembled against him.

“Did I say you can touch him ?” He snapped, his thrusts railing into you much harder.

You could barely make out what he was saying over your pornographic moans. Nam-gyu’s hard on was now poking through his pants at your abdomen. He then used his fingers to tuck your hair behind your ears.

Thanos just smirked as he released your wrists and they sagged to your sides. He stilled in you as he reached over collecting your hair into one of his hands. He pulled your head to the side and kissed your lips. You tried your best to kiss him back but mostly let out moans as your ass desperately pushed against his pelvis.

He moved back, his other arm around your stomach as he moved you with him. Thanos and you were a perfect 90 degree angle to Nam-gyu who laid beneath you guys. He continued thrusting up into you and Nam-gyu watched; looking from Thanos dick sliding in and out of you to your tits bouncing above him.

Nam-gyu slipped his hands beneath his pants, past his underwear, using his pre-cum for lube as he began stroking himself.

Thanos’s grip on your hair only tightened as his thrusts became sloppier and quicker. You were drooling at this point as he repeatedly hit your g-spot perfectly at this angle. Your salvia trailed down your chest, to your abdomen, to your pussy adding just a pinch more lubercation, not that you needed any.

The pace of Nam-gyu’s strokes quickened as his moans made harmony with your own. His legs tensed beneath you as you saw a dark spot form on the front of his pants. His chest rising and falling as he tried to regulate his breathing.

Your release followed soon after as you felt Thanos’s warm cum enter you. Thanos released his hands from you and you slumped forward, him following suit as you guys piled up on Nam-gyu. He didn’t seem to mind as one hand played with your hair and the other played with Thanos’s.

“As soon as I break up with John.” You breathed, “I would happily be in a relationship with you guys.

Nam-gyu gave you the biggest smile as you felt Thanos’ head nod against your back before placing a quick kiss on it.

[patchworkcuddlebug]

Dollcalypse

It shouldn't be moving. It was shot in the face. The porcelain was completely shattered, how can it still... walk? 

There's another one coming. A doll made of plastic politely walking down the empty street, like they've already taken over the city. It's holding another face. 

They're smart enough to repair each other. Fuck. But where did it get the material? It's too fast for it to be made from scratch. There's no way the factories are still running, unless they figured out how to run those too. 

...they're the only things meant to survive this hellhole, aren't they?

I hear the engine. Here he comes.

"Lynn!" 

"I know!"

Good. Back to my post. All there is to do while we're trapped in this stupid building.

I see the car turn the corner and quickly approach down the hill. It's still weird to see Spring Garden road without any traffic. Well, not counting the dolls going up and down the sidewalk. They all turn their heads to follow him, and one starts to turn around and approach as he- BANG

There's Lynn. Just one shot is usually enough to deter them from getting closer than they should. You don't even have to hit anything. They're smart enough, or just polite enough, to stay out of the way with just a warning. Not like that stops Lynn from taking potshots.

Coast is clear. I should go see if I can help with the barricade. 

This place used to be an office space rental agency. The front is pretty much entirely glass, but I've never seen them break anything. There's plenty of furniture to keep them from opening the doors, and that's all we need. Who knew the apocalypse could be so docile.

It's a bit of a jog to get from the stairs to the door. One of those echoing corporate lobbies. "Hey, Soph." Marcus says nonchalantly as he hands off his other bag to me, Lynn already carrying one.

I look inside. Some pasta, soup... "How did you find hot dogs?" I pull them out and inspect them. They're refrigerated, not frozen. Best before hasn't passed yet...?

"Oh, okay, you're not gonna believe this." Marcus gets and excited smile as he follows us to the storage room, ready to reveal his genius plot. "The restaurants on Barrington have already been picked through pretty well, so I was like 'fuck it' and checked the Superstore, and they actually had it up and running! They didn't-"

"What the fuck?" Lynn turns around with an accusatory confusion, stopping in their tracks.

"Right? I didn't figure that they could-"

"No, I don't care what they CAN do, why did you go to a store run by dolls?" They set the bag down and step away from it, as if it's radioactive. "Are you fucking stupid?!"

"Whoa, hey, I'm still a person, see?" He raises his hands with a confident nonchalance, showing off his unconverted skin. "The, uh, employees kept to themselves. I don't think the one at the cash COULD leave." 

Lynn hesitates for a moment. They look to me for confirmation, and I just look back at them, unsure of what to say. "...how did you pay for it?"

A shit-eating grin. "I asked nicely. Suppose they're not too bright." 

With an exasperated huff, they pick the bag back up. "If this is infected toy food or some shit I'm kicking your ass."

. . . . .

Fresh vegetables. "They're making produce?"

"It's not as much as there used to be." Marcus leans against the barricade, unfazed by his second trip to the doll's grocery store. "But the shelves are stocked, what can I say."

I grab the other bag before Lynn can, with a dutiful smile on my face. Carrots, potatoes, more fresh spinach. "Do they... even eat?"

"Nope." Lynn said bluntly. "It's magic all the way down. They're just keeping themselves busy."

I can't help but gaze in the direction of our kitchen. Why do those things get to be so lucky?

They're eyeing Marcus down. "Feeling stiff?"

Looking at him, his posture is a little straighter than usual. "What? C'mon, I'm just in a good mood." He starts to walk to storage, and I'm quick behind. 

Lynn doesn't follow.

Marcus stops and looks back at them, his face finally looking serious. "Lynn, please. I'd tell you if I got bit or whatever. I'm not gonna fuck you guys over like that."

I stop. I don't dare speak out of place.

Lynn rests a hand in their holster. "If your elbows look even a little round, it's over. I'm not risking us losing our humanity just for a little food."

"We need to eat." He's pleading, just a little. 

"I never said I wasn't gonna." They relax, just a little. "But you're cooking tonight. If the foods infected or something, I don't want Soph catching it."

I don't emote as much as I probably should.

. . . . .

He's back. This one can hear the engine from up here. 

It looks back at Lynn. They should be fine alone for a minute. 

This one heads down and takes down the barricade. It's quite the ordeal alone. This one feels bad for leaving Lynn to do it all this time. 

This one holds the door open for him and take his bags as soon as it can. 

"Everything alright? Where's Lynn?" He's apprehensive, but he still holds on to that air of confidence.

This one has to watch what it says. How it says it. "Just up in the storage room. They rolled their ankle, they're taking it easy." 

"Ah, makes sense."

It leaves. He follows. 

This one hovers by the entrance to the office we've repurposed into a storage room. "Could you get the door...?" This one struggle to cut itself off in time.

He does it without thinking. 

Lynn is tied to a chair, desperately muffling into their gag. Marcus steps back, just barely not bumping into this one. 

There's no time to waste. Before he can speak or turn around, this one holds a porcelain mask to his face. He's much taller than this one, so it has to jump onto his back to hold it on long enough.

He shakes this one off, letting it clatter onto the floor with a hollow thud. It doesn't hurt a bit, it's not even rattled.

The mask is still in place, a faint blue light emanating from beneath it. Slowly, the struggling stops as it fuses to his face, a glossy sheen travelling down his body. It isn't long until his limbs start to segment, evident even under his clothes. 

This one feels ashamed he couldn't enjoy becoming for as long as this one did. Oh well. At least it's finally a doll.

All Lynn can do is struggle in the binds as the last human they know is converted before their eyes. Watch as the panic slowly fades into a docile smile. 

This one helps gently guide the other one's body to the floor, its face frozen in blissful stillness. Poor thing must be overwhelmed. Don't worry, this won't take long.

This one looks to Lynn, and the struggling stops. Now there's just a desperate fear in their eyes. 

"This one is terribly sorry, Lynn. Really." It bows with an apologetic respect as it enters the room. "Please believe that this is for the greater good. We will no longer have to struggle for food, hide away from the world, or even fear the finality of death."

As it stands at attention in front of the person, it can't help but feel a peaceful smile grow on its face. "And being a doll just feels so... nice. As this one became, obedience felt better than anything it's felt since the outbreak."

This one walks behind Lynn, gently brushing their hair aside. "Please, do not resist. Becoming feels wonderful."

Lynn can't speak, it can't fight back. All they can do it lean their head to the side with a defeated acceptance.

It already makes such a good doll.

[silentplanetcat]

I have many thoughts on this. All the Emphasis that is given to the whole “Save the [Trans] Children” schtick has always had kind of a sinister undertone for me, and not for the reasons one might think. I don’t talk about this often IRL because whenever I bring up my misgivings, people either assume I hate kids, transpeople or both. None of these things are true. Anyway, here are my thoughts:

On Those Who are Caregivers for Control: As a Professional™ I have met a lot of teachers/parents/counselors/caregivers who go into the field of “Childcare” not just because they want to help kids, but because they want to have control over kids. They may say that they want what’s Best For The Children but they also want to be the deciders of what’s Best For The Children.

On Those Who Are Caregivers for Clout: They also may be enamored with how being a caregiver for a child makes them look. I don’t have as much room to criticize because the reactions I get from people when I speak even vaguely about helping children in need are intoxicating. If I could bottle the feeling I actually wouldn’t become a millionaire. I would just inject all of it immediately into my veins. To be clear this is still Not Ideal and I realize it’s something I will probably need to work on for the rest of my life so I don’t turn into Oprah-But-White-And-Evil.

On the Fetishization of the Young: Speaking of being a Caregiver for the Clout™…I’ve noticed that within our society there is this weird fetishization of super early childhood. I know this sounds as grounbreaking as florals in spring, but hear me out. Basically, the less autonomy young people have—>the easier it is for adults to project their desires onto them —>the more they are seen as inherently good/worthy of care. I also often see this fetishization of the very young by ultranatalist shitheads like JD “We Need More Babies in America” V*nce, or by boomers overly concerned with their own mortality. This second category of people hits a bit closer to home for me because some of them are my older relatives and colleagues. They’ve already realized that, because I am a Lesbian with a uterus, my having kids is going to be a Whole Affair™ (a Spending-Lots-Of-Money-On-IVF type of affair). This fills them with anxiety about when or if I will have kids at all. I have asked them for their patience, but I still get weird comments. One holiday I was playing the part of “Cool, Childless Older Cousin with spare time, energy and income” with my younger relatives. As I was being dog-piled on the couch by a gaggle of children over the age of 3, one of my these boomers commented: “you know you can make your own, right?” WILD SHIT! -1000/10! Do Not Recommend! I am a person who very much wants to have kids and this comment/attitude still angers me! I can’t imagine how people who are child-free by choice or circumstance must feel. Kids who are older than babies are also impacted by this because OF COURSE THEY ARE. I myself remember hating that, the more autonomy I got, the harder it was to be nurtured, coddled and cared for. Then I discovered kink got therapy and was able to fill that hole be a well-adjusted person. But it was a pretty painful road.

Anyway, thank you for coming to my ted-talk about the ways in which “Save The [Blank] Children” rhetoric can have sinister undertones for me, a person who likes and works with children.

(i'm not great at wrapping words around my thoughts, so i hope this makes sense!) i like the phrase 'sex exceptionalism,' it really makes me think. this morning i also had the thought: 'youth exceptionalism' -- i have a feeling you've already thought about this, about how we sort of treat children/youth as both sacred and subhuman.

i get this hard-to-describe unease whenever i see signs saying 'protect trans youth.' like changing words doesn't actually change actions, but i wish it said something more like 'defend trans folks.' without trans elders, trans youth don't have a future modeled for them. and we lose the wisdom and insight of people who transitioned in politically tumultuous times, when doing so was at least as stigmatized and difficult and dangerous as it is now. people with the benefit of seeing changes come and go, who have the lived experience of survival-pending-liberation and trans folks helping trans folks through direct immediate action and support.

youth exceptionalism -- it gets in the way of thinking clearly and critically whenever it pops up. it seems more emotional and ingrained than conscious. i feel it around programs aimed at giving youth opportunities, with cutoff ages. which to some extent makes sense, but not to the degree of fetishization of youth & kids our culture hangs on to. one too eager to discard humans as soon as they age (or rage) out of this impressionable, doll-like imposed role.

i think it also puts unconscious stress on youth, a sense of adults/power-havers heaping dreams & expectations on the next generation. and claiming all the sacrifices they chose to make were for the children/next generation. but at the same time expecting a specific outcome, a specific return on that transactional investment.

anyway, that's my jumble o' thoughts.

I think you're getting at something real. I have never liked the "Protect Trans Youth" shirts and banners, the way that certain supportive and well-intentioned parents cling to an identity for themselves as parent to a trans kid (often putting their kid's trans status out into the open and denying them the chance at ever being stealth, should they want to be), the advocacy that gets too perversely focused on the threat of a trans kid killing themselves (as if that were the only reason to give young people rights), the fixation on protection and innocence rather than on liberation... the heart is genuine that is driving a lot of this stuff, but it still sees children as the helpless precious object of their parents, a proto-human that has to be shielded from the world rather than a human of their own, with their own right to make decisions. it still treats transness as a rare fringe case; we might as well be talking about child cancer patients, for how focused the language is on protection and death. everybody's debating about what is best for the kid, and how to best prevent harm, and nobody is letting the kids speak for themselves. there's something so cloying and inert about it. even if the Protect Trans Kids group wins every political battle they get involved in, all they've done is provide children with one exception from the usual denial of body autonomy they live with. and they only get that exception because supposedly death is the alternative and they're that rare and sick. it's not good when you really drill into it.

[touchlikethesun]

that's so funny because i also watched haikyuu for the first time at 13 (a decade ago) and i walked out of that theatre with the eerie feeling that there really isn't much different between me then and me now in fact we are scarily scarily similar

[heartshapedtrap]

just hung out w friends for five hours and feltso full of whimsy I could pass out <333 I miss them so bad already but I get to see them tomorrow tooooo

[indulgentnine]

Though her nerves were shot, Velvette took a long breath to calm down in the situation and tried to rationalize the fact she was a Sinner currently in Heaven. Looking up to Adam as he pulled up a chair, she could only trust him right now, though she gave a little narrow of her eyes in doubt to seeing the make-up.

“You better fucking not make me look dumb,” she reiterates for him, and when he comes closer with the first brush she flinches. It takes a moment for her to relax as she has people do her makeup all the time. It was different here for some reason, holding still where she could and trying to take in the products he used as he applied them.

Every now and then she would give a pout, looking away as if she had no idea where to look during all of this. She even remained rather quiet, but knowing how to move her face to make applying each detail easier. Glad he wasn’t going to deal with her lashes, she closed her eyes when he got to the eye shadow and gave her lips a pout as he applied the lipstick.

“Since when could you do all this?” She asked idly once he was done with her face, able to talk while she watched him move around to behind her. The fact she let him without any tension just showed how much trust she was putting in him, especially with her hair of all things. She only ever let the top of the top stylists or herself mess with that.

“I’ll try not to bloody freak out, but at least try to do something good,” she hisses but crosses her arms as she lets him get to her hair now. There’s a slight tingle she feels when he snaps his fingers not unlike what she felt when she changes her clothes. She wondered if it was the same sort of technique before her hair laid down flat to near her shoulders. This is when she saw the stark color change.

Reaching her hand up to put her fingers through it, her attention pulls to the mirror he offers. Now her hands go for it as she blinks and takes in her new look. Change was something she was used to, but she never normally changed this much as she saw even her eyes shift in hue. It fascinated her a bit more than she thought even if she had her judgments on the overall execution.

“I expected worse,” she says initially, truthfully as she leans forward into the mirror and begins to do little touch-ups with her fingers to fix any out-of-place makeup, “Real fucking different. Is this how everyone looks up here? I haven’t ever actually seen a Winner, you know. Just you and some of the angels in Hell.”

Adam gave her a dumb smile, one with heavy confidence that he knew what he was doing and truthfully… she isn’t the first one who’s been up here that he’s taken. This is all routine to him at this point as he pulls up a chair in front of her and starts to get to work.

“I promise I won’t make you look dumb, but I’m gonna make you look… Heavenly. And not in the compliment kinda way.” He starts with a lighter foundation, one that would cover up her doll brown with something a little lighter only so when he applied dull golden eyeshadow, there would be less of a pop and wouldn’t make her stick out like a sore thumb. Heaven was constantly covered in warm colors, brighter tones which made darker colors stand out.

Her eyeliner would stay the same, less thick however, next was her lipstick, no more pure black, now it was replaced with a slightly pinker color to match the foundation and with a little blush and bronzer on cheeks, they were almost done. Next… was her hair.

“You’re gonna kill me, but it ain’t permanent so don’t freak.” He warns, moving to sit on his knees behind her and let all that poofy hair out of how she normally wore it up and with a snap of his figures and some time, the black of her hair turns gold, the red turns a nice royal blue and the highlights of the white turn a lighter blue then he straightens it, leaving one strand of very curly hair of her bang to dangle to the side of her face.

He puts up a mirror to her. “Here. I’m not the best with any of this but I think you’ll fit in here.”

[eggmeralda]

late spring true love by sadness is genuinely the song ever in all of history. ik I say that about every song I like but there is something about this one...

[radiaking]

idk exactly what lae'zel would think of coop but either way it's probably amusing.