#i actually can’t resist when ppl ask for more

[gardenoflupins]

Frediee is nice. Can we have lovermarks 🥺

LMAO is this a new tactic? Honestly I’m a little surprised at the amount of people that want to see more of Lovemarks.

I wrote it a year ago and let it rot in the drafts because I was sick of it (happens to everything I write which is why most of my fics dont make it to ao3) but it’s been refreshing to see it through everyone else’s eyes. I feel less critical about it and more willingly to work on it because of everyone’s engagement (I sometimes get repeat comments by people saying they’re still eagerly waiting and I can’t resissttt them ❤️‍🩹).

That was just a little ramble but yes! You can have more. I don’t have it in me to abandon it when people want to see more of it but it might take a while ❤️ it needs a bit of work

Thank you for showing your interest <3

[imliterallyf7ckin9crazy]

꧁⋆°𝓢𝓺𝓾𝓲𝓭 𝓖𝓪𝓶𝓮 𝓗𝓮𝓪𝓭 𝓒𝓪𝓷𝓷𝓸𝓷𝓼°⋆꧂

Squid game Season 2 men saving you when you almost die in the game

Characters: player 001, 230, 124

Warnings: canon violence, near death experience, toxic relationships, drug use, mention of suicide, romantic tension, f! Reader

A/N: this is no diss to anyone bc I respect the grind, I truly do, but everything I see of squid game is nsfw. I have to HUNT for sfw shit. I just gave up and just read everything anyways. So I’m trying to balance the scales a bit for rn. Again no diss bc yall nsfw writers COOK.

________

ᏢᏝᎯᎽᎬᏒ 001

(Weird ppl attacking you in game)

- ok so for this one I’ll say that you are just a average player in the games he happened upon. You two met because you were on the ‘X’ team, and more specifically in gi- Huns group.

- he normally is pretty resistant to the ‘worthless sob stories of the poor’ as he puts it. But for some odd reason, yours got to him

- thrown out of home, forced to survive and fend for yourself out in the streets, hopping from job to job because you can’t pay rent on time 8/10 and you get evicted. Pulling loan after loan to keep yourself afloat, and even that is starting to fail you. You are at the very end of the road and if you can’t manage to leave here without some money you are 100% fucked. You genuinely think the only way out of the hole you’ve dug is either a miracle in here or checking out of life manually.

- in-ho LOVES sad wet cat type people, he can’t help it. And even though he’s heard basically the same stories from hundreds of people yet somehow you stuck with him

- life was unfair to you, you were cast out. If that didn’t happen, you wouldn’t have to be living “like garbage”. Almost everyone else put themselves in their financial hole, you started in one. Not fair, see? He’s doing so much mental gymnastics and logistical jumping to validate himself. You’re different, you don’t count.

- you really weren’t a extremely strong individual , you didn’t draw attention to yourself like many of the others, you didn’t argue much or ask many questions. You came with a goal. And he respected that.

- after game two though, the marathon, you and many others decided it was time to call it quits. So you voted ‘X’ with gi-hun and everyone else. And surprisingly in-ho, or young-il as he named himself, also picked ‘X’

- you both didn’t really talk much besides maybe a few sentences to each other about how your group was meant to survive. But after the second vote, having a X on your shirt also meant having a target on your back. And being the “minding my own business” type it doubled that factor.

- a group of three people, two guys and one girl approached you. Sorrounding you and pestering you on your vote. It turned to raised voices and getting in your face, to shoving from all three people as you just stood there and took it, unwilling to change votes. Though you might not fight like some others that doesn’t mean you aren’t brave.

- though as soon as young-il (for simplicity) saw those men put hands on you he was already trudging his way cross room, leaving gi-hun mid conversation to aid you.

- you were backed against the bed frame of the stacked sleeping quarters, these three lunatics yelling and shoving you, telling you that you have to vote ‘O’ “or else”. You assumed it implied you leaving this place in a box.

- that’s when young-il made it to you. “That’s quite enough” he says, eyes cold as ice and facial expression locked in stone. His posture was straight and his head was held high. Very intimidating, it’s almost like he had a military commander type vide (hahaha- odd right??)

- the girl was quick to scamper off, giving you a glare as she informs the boys she’ll be waiting by their group. The men however puff their chests out and square up a bit, and you get second hand embarrassment because young-il doesn’t even flinch or break the deadly eye contact. “Are you sure.” Is all he said. It didn’t sound like an actual question, more of a “are you sure you wanna get your ass beat in front of all these people” threat.

- they got the memo from his venomous words and slowly creeped off back to wherever they came from, looking like puppies with their tails tucked as they walked away.

- “thank you so much” you say, bowing slightly in gratitude for his kindness. He gives you a nice chuckle before lifting your shoulders back up.

- “oh no no, it’s nothing. Those boys should know better, I bet their mothers would chew their ears off if they saw their lack of manners” he jokes, earning a giggle from you.

- it makes him feel kinda fuzzy, but he compartmentalizes that feeling for when he’s alone and can process it. In the mean time he just places his hand on your lower back, guiding you back to the group where you will be safe (and in arms reach)

- this just opened a Pandora’s box of possessiveness and lies, and he doesn’t even know how it will end

ᏢᏝᎯᎽᎬᏒ 230

(Mingle)

- for this let’s just say that you met up with thanos for the second game, the marathon one, and yall clicked a bit, leading him to tell you that “you should stay with me and my crew, for safety”

- and so you do. What could be the harm? He’s clearly deranged and a loose cannon, wouldn’t it be better to just go along before he kills you?

- is what you originally thought. Turns out after that conversation and you joined, he really isn’t that bad to be around. When he’s high he always makes you laugh, constantly cracking jokes and making fun of people at their expense to make you smack his shoulder a bit, saying “be nice!”

- you noticed he thrives on attention, and you give it to him freely. It’s hard not to when he’s got bright purple hair, hand tattoos WITH rainbow painted nails, and he’s rapping and dancing like he was in the comfort of his own home. Plus nam gyu, the guy who lowkey bullied the shit out of you the first few days was now told to “chill out man”

- now, you were all standing on a spinning circular floor, a cute little cheery jingle being played from over the speakers. Thanos and nam gyu danced together to the music, high in ways you didn’t even know you could get. It was pretty silly though, acting like kids.

- then the music dropped, and a number was said. You had to run with that number of people into a room to live. Those left behind will die

- the first few rounds were easy, the numbers were quite high and you held onto thanos’ jacket to stay with the group. The sounds of people begging to be let in followed by being punctured with bullets rang in your mind and the number for people in groups got lower and lower, until the number was two.

- you, thanos, nam gyu and min-su all stared at each other for a moment, frozen on who to pick before thanos started throwing his head from side to side before turning and gripping your arm and nam gyus, running full speed and pulling you along, forcing you to leave min-su. Though you felt horrible once you saw his shocked little face, you just kept going. Choosing to save your life instead of feeling bad and dying there.

- thanos shoved nam gyu towards the door next to the one you were about to be tossed in, luckily he saw someone was waiting by themselves in the room, so he was safe with two. Nam gyu gave him a small nod to let him know he was safe and set to survive.

- thanos rushed you in, slamming the door behind him and peering out. This was the last round, you made it. The door beeped behind you and locked, ensuring your victory of the game.

- adrenaline was still pumping through your veins as you gazed up at him from your spot cowering against the wall as gun shots rang. You didn’t even hear the people screaming or the poor souls who were locked from the room right behind you and thanos, damming you to hell for getting to the room first as they die. “Holy shit” you say as you look at him as he smiled back. “We did it.”

- “yup” he says confidently “now let’s see how much money we earned” thanos says as he pulled open the door for the final time. Before he can step out you grab his sleeve “hey- uh thank you” you mumbled

- he could have just left you like min-su and went with nam gyu, but he chose to save you.

- “what? Nah it’s nothing. Don’t worry” he says, patting you on the head and steering you out of the room

ᏢᏝᎯᎽᎬᏒ 124

(Lights out fight)

- there was a obvious tension in the air, one that nearly suffocated you as you sat with nam gyu on a bed… thanos’ bed.

- the vote ended in a tie, meaning the vote was to be redone the following day. After that was announced, your friends thanos and nam gyu went to the bathroom to ‘help even out the votes’. Specifically to talk to that poor min-su they’ve been harassing non stop. Only just nam gyu came back out. Eyes blown wide and covered head to toe in thick splashes of blood. Your heart nearly died when you saw him stumbling dazed out of the bathroom. You knew SOMETHING had happened when no thanos returned safely to you.

- after that, he tried convincing you they didn’t start the fight, which you saw right through. Eventually he dropped that act and told you straight up what went down. How your friend was murdered. Nam gyu tried covering his pain up by insulting thanos and taking two of his pills from the cross he stole from him. Calling him an asshole and an idiot. Again, you saw right through.

- you brought your hand up to his face to wife some blood off with your sleeve. And he leaned right into it, sighing very very deeply as he crushed the drugs between his teeth. He held your hand to his face, which you thought was just him being cute until he started talking about how there needed to be a total blood bath that night. To ensure team ‘O’ wins and you both could keep going. You tried to pull away but his grip kept you like in your spot next to him.

- “no nam gyu, we can’t just kill these people. They are just like us they just need money-“

- “yes! That’s the fucking point. We need that danm money, can’t you see? We won’t fucking win with all those stupid fucking cockroaches leeching our money” he hisses, harsh words contrasting with his hands tracing patterns gently on yours. “We won’t win this vote with them alive, we won’t get more money with them all alive. This is the only way”

- he just kept going and going until you agreed, saying you’d at least let him go out and kill and you’d be his little look out. Only nothing can go smoothly for anyone ever here.

- while there’s lights flashing and people screaming, blood and gore being sprayed from the alive and leaking from the dead, you are trying to make out what is going on around you. You can (faintly) see nam gyu out in the room, grabbing people and ripping them to shreds with his fork, the very fork that killed thanos to be exact.

- while you were looking around for nam gyu, someone had come up behind you, grabbing you by the neck and trying to choke you out. You screamed out nam gyus name as loud as you could as the attackers grip tightened and tightened to the point where you thought your neck was bound to snap. Your vision going out slowly as all you can recognize becomes the sound of the chaos. Until suddenly you were freed, and your assaulter was ripped off you and pinned to the ground by nam gyu.

- he started repeatingly stabbing the person, blood flying onto you and him as he slit the person open. When he stopped you basically flung yourself at him, crying “thank you! Thank you!”. He just saved your life, though You could barely recognize him, he was lost completely in drug fueled blood lust and rage.

- maybe not completely you figured, as he rushed to you and scooped you up. He returned you to a bunk, telling you to hide there and wait for him. Promising you he’ll come back, that he will keep you safe. And he did, as the lights came on and the gun shots rung out, he was alive and on his way back to you

______

Bet yall can’t guess who my favorite is >:3

[coffeesleep-ooc]

More anime sv au, this time with a Binghe protag

After Dungein no naka no hito, went to watch Mahou Shoujoni akogarete (thanks flu, you are so damn helpful I can’t go to work or to class -_-‘) and just the first episode made me itch to make it a sv au!

so like, imagine a world where ppl see magical girls Qingqiu (SJ), Qingge (LM? Liu Mingshi? Liu Ming? Idk) and Qingxing (SY) fight against monsters and protect their town with the power of friendship and love (although SJ does it more reluctantly, he wants to protect his beloved Yue Qi maybe?)

And there’s this young girl, bright eyed and shy and sweet! Who admired these magical girls and longs to fight with them. She is practically obsessed.

this cute sweet girl is named Luo Binghe and has just been chosen to be the villains’ organization new talent!

LBH does not want to fight her idols okay??? Bit if she doesn’t then the little creature who affirms to be an old demon will send her mother the transformation sequence video! She can’t be seen like this! And in such an attire! How could she!

so she does what the little spirit tells her and realizes…she is enjoying this…way too much

especially Qingxing’s face contorted in pain, flushed with embarrassment and asking why Binghe is doing this to them

is…why is it so…tempting? Why does she crave those embarrassed faces? She loves the magical girls! Why would she enjoy hurting them?!?

and then it happens again and again and again… and LBH cant help it anymore

She tries so so hard!!! Truly!!! She prays everyday for any god to help her overcome this weakness! She can’t concentrate in class! She stares at the blank pages of her homework and can only think of a tied up Qingxing! She has to pass this next exam with a high note or she will lose her scholarship but the only thing she can think of is- is…!

She…she! She is being corrupted by this power!

(Not really, she is just … lusting)

every single time she is overcome by the urge to see them tremble and mo- no! No!!! She has to resist this! She can’t…stop…when their clothes get thorn and show their skin…she wants to make that pale skin redden and hear them cry out!

and qhen they fight back and hit her…its even better!!! Her heart fills with joy when the sweet Qingxing smacks her with sides with her baton, or when the cool and collected Qingge flushes all over in anger and embarrassment and throws herself at Binghe…or even when Qingqiu throws her best punches at her face, she even looks to be enjoying it too…

Why does she like that so much?

When she is transformed is like she is almost like another person, all her desires come to the surface, and she only wants to play! Why is she such a bad bad person????

And maybe later she meets Xiao Hua (SHL) who wants to fight the magical girls for protagonism of her own, and Mobei-jun (Mo Xue maybe?) who is angry that the magical girls want to reclute her not-yet-gf to their side and put her in danger!

She learns that everyone has their own reasons to fight, and that is part of life to discover oneself…and who knows, maybe gain a couple of partners in the process?

(lol, im thinking that since both og!LBH and sv!LBH have a high sex drive, this little girl discovering her own interests and trying to fight them bc she believes she is actually doing something evil is very interesting, it would make even more sense for SY-LQG to start falling for LBH’s sweet sweet and charming tortures, even when they won’t admit it!

but also LBH fighting the spirit that gave her power -maybe Mdme Meiyin?- but falling each time to the temptation XDDDD

Im still watching it so i may adds to this idea but feel free to use it too, but this is a mix of silly and hot that i just wanted to share hehehe)

[tsandoll]

hii bunny!! 🍑 anon here to ramble about riwoo..

because i’ve read some hcs on here about him and usually i default to imagining idols as doms but he seems like a lot of ppl see him as a sub and i think he could maybe be a sub leaning switch but yeah he is probably (in all of our depraved fantasy worlds) a subby boy

and definitely whiney. i think his whines would be so sweet n adorable like his fake little whines when he’s pouting and teasing you or ur teasing him and he doesn’t actually want u to stop but wants to put up a little bit of resistance.. and then his less voluntary whines and whimpers when he gets into the subspace u so easily put him in<333

i think he’d be so cute with an oral fixation, wanting to suck on ur fingers (and ur titsss plsss) omg so like imagine ur just like cuddling and watching a movie with him i could see him like laying his head on ur lap while ur sitting up or laying on you if you’re laying down and you could be playing with his hair or rubbing circles on his lower tummy and u don’t even mean to work him up, ur just cuddling ur sweet boy but he’s getting all flustered and thinking about u and the position you’ve got him in and he takes your hand and asks first cuz he’s very polite like can he suck on your fingers and ur like ofc baby and he’d just do it mindlessly for a bit but then you’re starting to get worked up at the way he just lays there and suckles at ur finger, and so you give him another one and when he so obediently takes it (albeit with the cutest little whine) you can’t stop urself from pushing your fingers a bit deeper into his throat u would never want to hurt him but u loveeee the way he squirms when your fingertips press on the back of his tongue aaahhhh im sorry i can’t tell if this makes any sense or he just super unhinged. uhm.

i was gonna ramble on about riwoo begging to suck on ur breasts and sitting in ur lap and sucking on them while ur watching tv or smth but i feel that might be a bittt much um anyways. sorry if this is too crazy or just dumb. yeah.

NO THIS ISN'T TOO MUCH NOR IS IT DUMB THIS IS REALLY GOOD HUN!!! i love subby riwoo its my favorite way to talk about him because it just makes so much sense to me.

overall he's such a good boy, so obedient and willing to listen to everything that you tell him to do but sometimes he does get super whiny. he talks back just a little at times but its not in an attempt to be bratty, its more him just wanting to have something to say. when you do certain things he'll whine out a very hushed, "so mean :(" or he'll just let out a whine of disapproval to you. he doesn't really mean anything by it but he can't help but let them out. when he gets into his sub space he really doesn't talk much so his whines and whimpers are his way of communicating things!

i like to think that the reason he loves desserts so much is because they taste good of course but also because they keep his mouth occupied with something sweet. he loves the fluffy textures and the creamy insides it makes him so happy. i could def see this scenario, he'd be so so sweet. he'd lay on your lap and as soon as he does his attention would be pulled away from the movie and he'd just play with the hem of your shirt or something like that, just mindlessly twisting it up in his fingers. he lets go with you, allowing himself to be a bit brainless, just letting himself fully be relaxed. he always hums so cutely when you play in his hair, he gives you the prettiest smile. me and thea actually have so many thoughts about riwoo having a sensitive lower belly, its a huge erogenous spot for him so the moment you start drawing circles on his skin he's getting all needy and hard.

you'd be so used to him needing your fingers in his mouth by this point that when he grabs your hands and starts playing with your fingers, just running his fingertips over your nails you'd already know. when you smile down at him knowingly he'd just be like, "can i?" he smiles around the finger in his mouth, staring up at you with such sweet round eyes, sometimes shutting them for a little bit. like you said he accepts another finger in his mouth so easily, hand wrapped around your wrist as he holds your hand up to his mouth. when you push your fingers deeper into his mouth he'd moan around your fingers, squirming around a little because of how hard he's getting, he's so so sweet and would get so so needy.

he loves being submissive for you because he loves that he doesn't have to do much. of course he'd take care of you just as well as you do him if u need him to but he loves to give up control and sit back and let you play with him however you please. he trusts you fully and is so willing to do what you want. whether he's domming or subbing is really up to how you feel that day!

[columbiastapshoes]

drunken confession trucoop anyone ?!

hi i know this used to be a rocky horror blog but these gay little detectives will not leave my brain so. have a thing <3 if ppl like this i can write more and make them kiss maybe but this is all i have for now! this is spoiler free (implied spoilers but if you don't know them already nothing will be revealed i assure you), a whole lot of mutual pining, some sexual innuendos but no sexual content, and they do not kiss im sorry :( also shoutout to my irl friend for telling me how to describe our idea of harry's room and giving me some prompts for the actual confession tee hee

Cooper could smell the whiskey in Harry’s breath as they walked back to his cabin. Their night at the bar was not intended to go this long, but Harry had insisted on ‘one more drink’ again and again, and he was looking up at Cooper like he was the whole world… Cooper couldn’t resist anything from him. After Cooper became too concerned to give into Harry’s drunken pleading, he had taken him back home, and now Harry’s arm was slung around his shoulder as he somehow managed to trip up each and every stair. Cooper lifted him up ever-so-slightly for the last step, so Harry wouldn’t risk spraining an ankle anymore.

“Do you have your keys?” He asked, lifting Harry’s sinking chin up so he could look at him. Harry just smiled up at him, his brown eyes shining with an almost orange glow in the moonlight. He nodded slowly. 

“In my back pocket,” he said, “you should get ‘em for me.” His smile widened into a grin, and Cooper couldn’t help but smile a bit himself, shaking his head as his face started to feel a bit warm.

“Very amusing, Harry. I’m sure you’re perfectly capable of opening your own door. I doubt you still need to lean on me, now that we’re not walking.” If he was being perfectly honest, the feeling of Harry’s weight on him was making his stomach twist itself into knots, but this was probably the worst possible time to let those feelings get in the way of helping a friend to bed. Harry sighed, reluctantly moving his arm off of Cooper’s shoulders to reach into his pocket for his keys. As soon as they weren’t touching anymore, Cooper began to realize just how cold the night air had become. He shivered as Harry attempted to unlock his door, but couldn’t seem to maintain a grip on the key. Cooper walked up to him, gently taking Harry’s hand and guiding it to turn the key in the slot. He could feel Harry’s eyes on him, but he refused to look back at him– not now. Not tonight. Not when he knew everything Harry was saying and doing was just a result of alcohol, and he would come to Cooper apologizing for everything in the morning, and Cooper would tell him it’s quite alright when in reality it was more than quite alright and he would take care of Harry through any situation in the whole world–

“Coop? I opened it. See? You can come in.”  Cooper shook himself. The alcohol seemed to be kicking in for him, too. He nodded.

“Yes, good job. Mind the-” Harry stumbled over the short ledge separating the house from the porch- “...bump.” Harry laughed– one of Cooper’s favorite noises in the world– and pulled him into the living room by the wrist. Trying to keep his composure, Cooper nodded. “Alright. Where’s your bedroom?” 

Harry’s eyes widened. “Coop…” he murmured, his words mixing together, “right now? Didn’t take you as that kinda guy, but hey, I ain’t-”

“I’m putting you to bed, Harry. I don’t think there’s much that will save you from a raging headache in the morning, but at least you’ll be able to sleep for longer now.”

“Stuff like this that makes me ��member why I like you, Coop. You’re real nice. Thinkin’ all the way into tomorrow morning for me… that’s a lot.” He grinned, and Cooper found himself smiling as well. 

“Yes, well, I just want to make sure you’re able to look at at least one file at work tomorrow. Unfortunately, this case can’t be paused so you can sleep a hangover off.” Harry nodded, but Cooper could tell he wasn’t entirely following what he was saying. Without a word, Harry took Cooper’s hand (something that sent a string of energy down Cooper’s whole arm– static shock, maybe?) and led him into his bedroom.

Harry reached over and turned on the ceiling lamp, illuminating exactly what Cooper had pictured his room to look like for months now. A large wooden bed took up most of the space, with a large amount of blankets piled onto it with a wool flannel comforter on the very top. There were two wooden nightstands on either side, and Cooper’s heart sank as he saw a framed picture of Josie on the nightstand that Harry seemed to use. He felt a pang of guilt settle into his stomach. Who was he to long for Harry like this when Harry clearly had his whole attention elsewhere? He forced himself to look away from Josie’s face to notice the ornate lampshade next to it, shades of various colors swirling around each other and dangling down in golden tassels. Below it sat an antler knife, seemingly hand-carved, and a book Cooper couldn’t fully make out in the dim orange lighting. He’d have to ask Harry about it sometime. Next to the bed, his closet door hung open, a small walk-in with a single lightbulb hanging rather precariously from the ceiling. Against the other wall was a large leather chair, although the leather was so worn down that it was practically falling off the cushions. The jackets and clothes strewn across it made up for the decay, though– it felt more well loved than abandoned. Harry stepped into the room, tripping over his feet a bit as he walked across a dark patterned carpet, one that Cooper found absolutely beautiful, but he decided to tell Harry that later.

“I’m assuming you have more comfortable clothes to wear to bed? I wouldn’t want you sleeping in what you have on now,” Cooper said softly as Harry sat on the bed, staring at a spot on the floor. He nodded, looking back up at Cooper with that big smile again. 

“Yeah… hey, might need help changing int-”

“Harry.”

“Sorry. I got it.” Cooper smiled, shaking his head again as he stepped back out of the room, closing the door behind him. He sighed, leaning against the adjacent wooden wall and closing his eyes for a moment. Harry’s room was so… Harry. Like his mind had spilled out across the walls and created the warm, comforting, loving atmosphere he had always felt whenever they talked. It was beautiful, and it was nice, and that small, irritating part of Cooper’s brain was beside itself imagining sleeping in that bed with him, kissing him goodnight, waking up there with Harry’s mouth pressed against his bare shoulder… he wished that part of his mind had an off switch. He heard the soft noises of Harry moving around in his room, taking off clothes, putting on other clothes, yawning, those little human noises that made Cooper want to stay by his side forever even more. After a moment of listening, the door opened again, and Harry stood behind it, looking at Cooper with now half-closed eyes.  He had changed into a dark red wool sweater with a knit design of a golden buck on the center, dark plaid pants, and fuzzy golden socks. Cooper felt a rush of warmth run through his body. He had only ever seen Harry in his work clothes, maybe a different shirt if he was lucky, never something as informal as this. He looked as beautiful as ever, maybe even more beautiful. But Cooper refused to linger on those thoughts for too long. He nodded politely, walking back into Harry’s room.

“Looks comfortable,” he said as Harry yawned and sank back down onto the bed.

“Yeah… makin’ me sleepy,” he mumbled, and Cooper couldn’t help but laugh a bit at  Harry’s change in vocabulary. 

“Quite convenient, Harry, as I suggest you get some rest. It’ll be a rough morning tomorrow.” Without really thinking, Cooper walked over and folded over a corner of the sheets, causing Harry to smile and move there. Cooper put the blankets back over Harry and kneeled down next to him, feeling like he might pass out at any moment. 

“Y’know,” Harry said softly, gazing at Cooper with an expression he couldn’t quite place, “you should come in here at night more. The light makes you look real gorgeous.” He sighed. “You always look gorgeous, though.” Cooper’s face felt very hot all of a sudden, and he cleared his throat, attempting to calm down his racing heart.

“Thank you, Harry. I would love to spend more time with you at a later day. For now, though, you need to sleep.” There was a pause as Harry moved his blankets even further up, covering his chest so just his face was visible. Cooper always seemed to know what was going on inside Harry’s head, but at the moment he just couldn’t quite place the look in his eyes. He took a deep breath in, and with a voice barely above a whisper, he spoke.

“I wish we could be together.” Cooper frowned, tilting his head slightly. He didn’t mean it the way Cooper wished he did, right? No. It was something else. Something he didn’t know the meaning of.

“What do you mean?” He asked. Harry sighed again, moving a bit closer to Cooper so their faces were a lot closer together than they usually were. Cooper could practically taste the whiskey on his breath now.

“Dunno. I guess I just… like you, Coop. Like you a lot. Always have. Always wanted to kiss you, too.” He laughed at Cooper’s widened eyes. “Yeah. Really wanna kiss you all the time. You’re so… good. You’re good, and nice, and smart, and fucking beautiful. Sickeningly beautiful. Hurts to look at you sometimes.” 

“Harry,” Cooper whispered, not knowing what else to add. His entire body was shivering slightly, but at the same time he felt incredibly warm. He didn’t know if he was supposed to just tell the truth and say that he felt the exact same way, or if he was supposed to laugh it off. He settled on something in-between the two. “You’re- not going to be very happy with yourself when you remember telling me this tomorrow.”

Harry shook his head, his hair rustling against his pillow. “Yeah, I know, but it’s the truth. I want to love you, Coop, and I want you to love me. But we can’t. Can’t love each other the way we want to.”

“Why not?” Cooper found himself asking before he had time to assess the situation. His body tensed. That was not a good move. Harry was drunk, and if he remembered Cooper responding like that to his clearly fictional rambling in the morning… it was over. Harry smiled gently, slipping a hand out from under the blanket and moving a piece of Cooper’s hair out of his face, something that made Cooper shiver once more. 

“Nothing. Sorry.” He turned over, facing away from Cooper and adjusting the blankets. Before he fell completely silent, though, he hit Cooper with possibly the worst thing he had said all night. “Just wish you were a girl sometimes. Night, Coop. Thanks for everything.” And with that, he stopped talking, leaving Cooper to sit there like a deer in headlights, wondering where to go from here.

[chlorinecake]

idk if u didnt reply to my last one or it didnt show up again 💔💔💔💔💔 ok so i literally forgot what i wrote last time soooo im screwed

i think i wrote

blueberry diaries log one

i mean i love jake land but the thing is idols they rarely come here like.. world tour literally means japan korea america americans are sooooo lucky 💔💔💔 i wish i could see enha but they havent come here even ONCE but its ok ive still had the chance to go to some concerts 😄😄 but the thing is i was literally resisting the urge to fly to singapore to watch enha 😞😞😞

speaking of did u go to the enhypen concert when they went to 29393288283 places in ur country 😄if u did hope it was fun (dying on the inside) if u didnt thennnn.. theres always next time

america is very cool tho i went there a while ago long flight tho but it was fun i went back in time sooo

im very curious what happens when an idol sees an au about themself.. 😭😭 how would they react LMAOAOA

anyways about universe ticket its really not traumatising some of the contestants even have tiktok accounts 😄😄 it feels a little rushed tho.. BUT THE THING IS THE DEBUT GROUP HAS ONE ADULT AND ONE 12 YEAR OLD I FEEL SO OLDDDD

also i never knew that you can change the size and the font of words on tumblr i feel so.. uneducated 😭😭

ok signing off,

- 😹

Omg, the “Blueberry Diaries” 😍 Sign me up, I love this show alreadyyy !!

Flying out to Singapore just to see them perform would’ve been such a fun experience I’m sure, but at the same time, very expensive and maybe even scary if you went alone … Crossing my fingers in hope that one day tho, Enhypen will show some love to Jake Land and it’s residing engenes 🫶

But no, I’ve actually never been to one of their concerts before, and as much as I’d love to go one day, my mom is SO ANTI kpop to the point that if she even knew that I listened to their music, she’d take my phone away again 😭 Like ong, she literally had a panic attack when she saw pictures of Hyunjin & Niki in my gallery, but that’s a story for another day … 🍵

And omg, which state did you visit (if you don’t mind sharing) …. You also just reminded me of my childhood fascination with Australia… I don’t know why, but I’ve always wanted to visit there as a kid, and even more NOW as an adult knowing that so many of my favorites idols are from there :’3

About the ff thing tho, I honestly feel like most of them would be flattered by it while others would just find it flat out weird 😭 Sometimes, I get the feeling that Enhypen knows abt ppl writing stuff for them, mostly bc it just seems like they’re always in on our inside jokes and strange engene ways 🫠

But trainees having active social media accounts is new :0 ?!? And ‘11 liners working alongside adults is crazyy !! Hell, I can’t even believe I just said 11’ liners, HELP-

Good to hear no one’s being traumatized tho 😭 And yeah, you’ll learn that tumblr has a lot of cool features and quirks once you keep using it !!

Anyways, thanks for reaching out again, Blueberry !! It was fun responding to this lengthy ask huhu 🤭 ~

[thermodynamiclawyer]

HAIII👋👋👋FELLOW PV ENJOYER I just wanna say I LOVE UR ART SM🥺🥺the way u draw pv is SOSOSOSOSO COOL N FUNKY I LOVE IT SMMM I usually don’t follow accounts that post purecacao not becauz i hate the ship it’s just not really my thing (also becauz my besties fav ancient is lily and we like making aus together a lot so it’s just easier 2 slam our faves together HSHSHD) but but BUT!! u are the EXEPCTION i just cannot resist ur pv art swagger. it is too pretty it is TOO MUCH OF. A LOT OF GOOD THINGS I DON’T WANNA MAKE A HUGE LIST RN BUTBUT ur gonna get spammed with notifs from me in a second becauz im going through ur pv tag and reblogging ur art of him. I actually saw ur art a lot earlier but. i didnt interact with it idk why I just didn’t feel like writing out a ton of tag compliment essays that day and then I just continued to put it off,, the wonders of having the disorder(s? I just recently got on meds for add but I’m not actually properly diagnosed yet) (also I’m autistic so disorders plural I think) I literallt have no other excuse for not interacting with ur art sooner other than. executive dysfunction sucks and also becauz I wasn’t sure if u were the type of real and TRUE!! purecacao shipper 2 still think lily is shippable or were one of the kinds of people to demonize lily insanely a lot. I had 2 unfollow some1 before becauz they made an extremely negative post about lily that made me kindof uncomfy but. seeing as u also ship hollylily(valid btw) I think it’s time I finally follow u becauz. I love ALL UR ART SM!!!! and I wanna eat it stuff it into my mouth like a chipmunk and run away with it forever it is so. ur style is soooososo unique but in such a visibly appealing way it boggles my MIND when people manage 2 make such unique art styles look SOSO GOOD especially since the only way I was able 2 make my art look okay was 2 make it look. less unique idk. no clue what spawned me 2 ramble on for this long idk I just. think ur art is cool okay. I see ur pv art and my eyes light up n go shiny like big sparkly anime eyes the way u draw is just so. sosososoososo. so. insert every compliment physically possible here I can’t possibly stress this enough just. art. pretty. and I’m envious that ur not even that much older than me I hope that. my improvement speeds up in the next 2-3 years it would b really cool if my art was just as cool as urs when I’m 19. idk. end of ask I’ve gone on for too long I’m sorry I hope u don’t mind. whatever this is ig

this means so much to me holy shit i’m so happy you like my art. and i’m very happy ur a lily enjoyer too!!! i totally agree with you, people demonize her way too much (probably because she “gets in the way” of ppls “gay ships” WHICH I HATE THAT EXCUSE). i still ship purelily, i like to imagine it as a relationship they had in the past. i’m not gonna ignore what they have in canon cuz it’s obvious they loved each other!!! (i’m not gonna freak out when i see other ships with the characters i like LOL). i still love lily and i want her to be happy, she has an incredible amount of depth to her character. she’s not heartless, but she’s not a shy damsel in distress like how other people depict her as well. she’s flawed and incredibly multidimensional, and i hope i have the opportunity to show that more often :D that makes me happy to hear you’re still open to other artists that ship different (normal) things, i hope you enjoy what i draw in the future as well!! i love the ancients a lot and i love other ancients-fans as well!!!

[atlasshrugd]

I've got a question for you, if you could've had one storyline for britin that you got to choose what would it have been ?

hello again fav! thank you for this ask.

oh my god. there's so many. how do i narrow it down?

from the top of my head, I would have loved to see more daily, domestic moments between brian and justin when they were in a relationship first and foremost. I know there are a few, but honestly things are more implied than shown. I would have loved to see them having more casual talks, discussions - stupid shit, serious shit, about brian's work, about justin's art, etc. It would have been nice to show them connecting in that 'partner' way in the simple moments. we have seen a lot of big moments between them, and a lot of hot moments, but man does my heart crave to see them going through their morning routine, or their little talks after they come home from work.

(ppl can say that it would have been too boring for such a fast-paced show, but MAN did we get an overabundance of babylon shots!!)

another thing I wished we could have seen more of (kind of a storyline??) is brian and justin BROKEN UP FOR LONGER. hear me out:

you can NOT tell me that you wouldn't love to see justin tormenting brian at work for longer. even though i LOVE their reunification, it seemed pretty fast. I would have loved to see an agitated brian at work with a flirty justin. just think about it: he would pretend not to know justin, but everyone would suspect something going on between them because of the aggressive stares they give each other in the halls and in meetings. justin would know things about brian that all the other partners and interns have never heard of, like "He has milk in his tea," or "Switch it to decaf he won't know the difference." And people would just be wondering HOW the hell the new kid knows these things.

brian would check on the art department WAY more than usual, and justin would "accidentally" stick his ass out when he knows the big bad mr. kinney is paying a visit. people would wonder why brian is harder on the new intern than anyone else, and why justin never gets upset like the others. but at the end of the day, brian would be pleased with justin's work because he is smart and talented and understands brian's mind like no one else.

it would be a BALL and it would end in an explosion.

the sexual tension would be PALPITATING, and tbh I just want to see more of a single justin taylor. for the majority of the show, he is in a relationship of some sort. but justin taylor on his own is a GOD. he gets what he wants. i would have loved to see him thrive on his own, while trying to get brian back, but brian being too stubborn and prideful resisting with all he can, until - obviously - he can't anymore.

(no one can resist justin taylor for long)

anyway, the whole drawn out 'lovers to enemies to colleagues to friends to lovers' would have been a GLORIOUS sequence of events. it would have shown another side of both brian and justin:

- brian being the one that is preyed on, him denying temptation for once (also reminiscent of s1 except with feelings)

- justin being the dominant one in that he goes for what he wants, developing professionally and impressing brian, having to actually flirt with brian instead of just hopping into his bed, foreplay

and it would have also been beautiful to see their rivalry become a friendship. they would still be recovering from hurts they both inflicted on each other, and brian would be in denial, but they would have eventually worked together for long enough to re-establish why they worked so well together in the first place: they understand each other without words. they would definitely talk during breaks (after the heat simmered down a little) and sometimes brian would drive justin back home when they stayed overtime. it would be a tiny, comforting slice of what was, but without the sex. and this would open so many new perspectives in brian's mind, and deepen their love.

also. uh. THE PINING.

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Texts from the Lost Tomb, part 5.4

I swear folks once I get this and the last part up I’m gonna condense it all

But yeah couldn’t resist some <3

Zhang and Wu Chat

Wu Xie: Um. I’m all done with the shower if you want a turn.

Zhang Qiling: I’m alright without one.

Wu Xie: sooo are you pissed at me still?

Zhang Qiling: ? I have not been angry with you since the ladder incident.

Wu Xie: you’ve barely said anything since the necklace thingy

Zhang Qiling: I believe it is a long-running joke amongst my friend group that I do not, in fact, say much.

Wu Xie: okay but there are multiple gouges in the tea house walls that would suggest you had somewhat strong feelings today

and I kinda caused the events that sparked said feelings

so just checking in you know

Zhang Qiling: I was not angry so much as I was afraid. More afraid than I’ve been in a long time.

Wu Xie: ??? But it has worked out fine??? Everyone made it out alive and Uncle Erbai gets to feel morally superior to the Zhang family for a while so today was a win overall

Zhang Qiling: I heard you scream. I didn’t know what had happened. I couldn’t get to you right away. Therefore, I was afraid.

Wu Xie: ohhhhh. oh, Xiao Ge. It’s alright now—hey the necklace was actually helping u look out for me:) It’s not like those ppl were actually trying to hurt me, really. Your family isn’t so bad, at least you don’t have any uncles you know of

today was just some big misunderstandings wrapped in some poor life choices. Tbh my memoir title

I feel kind of stupid for screaming but when a glowing necklace wraps itself around your neck it’s a little uhoh moment lol

I did like the design tho def my aesthetic.

Zhang Qiling: I am pleased that it was able to protect you when I was not.

Wu Xie: Uh no you are not allowed to get all emo abt this it’s only like 3pm

damn time flies when it’s flashing before your eyes lol

Are you on the roof? You’re def on the roof. I thought I heard the tiles moving over my head. Come down or I’m coming up.

Zhang Qiling: I will be down in a moment. Do not come outside, it’s cold and raining.

Wu Xie: you know, Zhang Rishan said he thinks the necklace might be linked to you, somehow

something from long ago, even though you wouldn’t remember it.

It’s lucky that it liked me, huh:)

Zhang Qiling: Yes. Quite lucky.

Babysitters Club Chat

Wang Pangzi: AWW LOOK AT HIM NAPPING ON YOUR SHOULDER SO CUTE. BEBES HAD A BIG DAY. YOU TWO ARE PRECIOUS. BE GOOD AND POSE FOR THE PICTURE NOW.

Zhang Qiling: No. Also, I am considering what steps I should take with Zhang Rishan. Regardless of his concern for the Zhang family line, his actions were unacceptable.

Wang Pangzi: HES DROOLING A LITTLE ON YOU WHICH IS LESS CUTE BUT I CAN CROP THAT PART

LOOK I KNOW YOURE STILL PISSED. IM NOT EXACTLY CALM MYSELF, I JUST HAVE WAYS TO SKIRT AROUND TIANZHENS BULLSHIT FILTER THAT YOU LACK

GET ON MY LEVEL

WU ERBAI WILL HANDLE IT, THINGS HAVE SETTLED I THINK

BUT ABOUT THAT NECKLACE

SO INTERESTING HMMM

Zhang Qiling: I am the patriarch of my family. The necklace behaved as I would, apparently, to protect a vulnerable family member. Wu Xie’s bad cold last week activated it, and it responded to a perceived danger to him today. Simple enough.

Wang Pangzi: UH HUH

A FAMILY MEMBER

THE NECKLACE REALLY SAID LOVE WINS

TOLKIEN COULD NEVER

Zhang Qiling: It protected him on a technicality. But I will not allow him to bear the burdens of my family ever again. It has taken so much from him already.

Wang Pangzi: YEAH SURE BLAH BLAH DESTINY BLAH BLAH ANGST

“A TECHNICALITY” WOW WHO SAID ROMANCE WAS DEAD

ANYHOO IM SCREENSHOTTING THIS FOR UR WEDDING RECEPTION SLIDESHOW

YA KNOW DURING MY SPEECH

Friends of Wu Xie Support Group Chat

Hei Yangjing: you’re welcome for everything today<3 I accept PayPal, although of course it is always my honor to assist my friends:)

Wang Pangzi: WE ARENT PAYING YOU SHIT

Zhang Qiling: You did absolutely nothing.

Hei Yangjing: whoa whoa maybe I wasn’t threatening family members or busting up load-bearing walls like some undying divas I could name but I totes helped

or at least I was there for moral support maybe?

Zhang Qiling: The only reason I knew you were there at all was that as I lowered my blade from Zhang Rishan’s neck, I heard the camera click and saw you were taking a selfie making a peace sign, angled to have the two of us in the background.

Xie Yuchen: I saw it on social media just now. The caption is “#greatdaycatchingupwiththelads #blessed”

Wang Pangzi: TBH KIND OF JEALOUS I DIDNT THINK TO DO THAT

Hei Hangjing: okay yeah you see Xiao Ge that is a modern kind of help I should’ve known you wouldn’t be aware

It’s called performance, you wouldn’t understand

it’s a ‘Gram thing

Also it means I’m a great person

Bc letting you handle the situation was my gift to you

Zhang Qiling: Wu Xie mentioned there is something called “blocking ppl” that gets them out of my phone.

Hei Yangjing: nah

Can’t trust that Wu Xie, bae can’t tell a coffin from an urn amirite

it’s not a thing, blocking

Xie Yuchen: It is a thing. I’ll show you later, Zhang Qiling.

Wang Pangzi: YOU BOYS GO GET CLEANED UP AND COME BY AROUND 9 I SNAGGED SOME OF ZHANG RISHANS BOOZE ON THE WAY OUT

Bonnie and Clyde Chat

Hei Yangjing: you looked pretty comfortable in those handcuffs earlier ;););)

Xie Yuchen: Go to sleep, idiot.

Hei Yangjing: You’d have to do something to tire me out ;););)

Xie Yuchen: Are you like this around Wu Xie? Not that I care, I’m just asking.

Hei Yangjing: uh that’s a big nope

First off all Idk when I’ll die but Id prefer it to be on my terms and not at the hands of those other two

Secondly there is a part of me that remembers how adorable he was when he was younger and that makes it weird

(No offense but u were not adorable. He was bebe luke skywalker, you were bebe princess leia I am obvs Han Solo 4lyfe)

Also I’m a little scared that if i flirted with him and he flirted back he’d be better at it.

Xie Yuchen: All valid concerns.

Hei Yangjing: as cute as he is I don’t really wanna tap that.

Xie Yuchen: I see.

Hei Yangjing: do you tho

Main Chat

Wu Xie: okay folks who wants cocoa to top the evening off? I picked some up today:D

Wang Pangzi: UH YOU SPENT YOUR DAY BEING KIDNAPPED AND PLACATING A SENTIENT NECKLACE WHEN DID YOU HAVE TIME TO GET GROCERIES

FRANKLY THATS INTIMIDATING

Wu Xie: the tea house gift shop:)

Wang Pangzi: …YOU BOUGHT COCOA FROM YOUR KIDNAPPERS. FROM THEIR GIFT SHOP. DURING YOUR KIDNAPPING.

WU XIE

WU XIE WHY

Wu Xie: I mean we were there the whole day, it felt impolite not to buy anything.

Wang Pangzi: OH RIGHT GREAT POINT ID HATE TO BE RUDE TO THEM AFTER THEY WENT TO THE TROUBLE OF ABDUCTING US

LISTEN WHEN PPL STEAL YOU IT BECOMES FREE REIGN ON THEIR SHIT

UGH YOU PROBABLY GOT A RECEIPT AND EVERYTHING

WAS UR LITTLE SHOPPING TRIP BEFORE OR AFTER THEY STUCK U IN A DUNGEON TO EXPERIMENT ON YOU

WAIT NVM I DONT WANT TO KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT

Wu Xie: look, let’s focus on the positives/ we are all okay, and we learned something new, that necklace is still active! It’s really quite nice-looking when it isn’t moving of its own volition.

Wang Pangzi: YOU AND YOUR RELENTLESS DUCKING OPTIMISM

ZHANG QILING ARE YOU SEEING THIS

Zhang Qiling: I would love some cocoa. I’ll come to the kitchen.

Wu Xie: I have special marshmallows for you!!

Wang Pangzi: I SEE

WE ARE SUBSCRIBING TO THE PRESTIGIOUS “FUCK IT WHY NOT” SCHOOL OF THOT TONIGHT

LOL SURE LETS GO COCOA IT UP

IVE GOT SOMETHING STRONG TO POP IN IT

Wu Xie: Still thinking about that design… I’d love another chance to examine that necklace under less Zhangy circumstances.

Kinda sad we couldn’t borrow it to use for illnesses and dangerous missions :/

ah well it’s for the best, a family heirloom should be treasured, preserved and protected<3

Zhang Qiling: I put it on your dresser.

Wu Xie: ???????

Wang Pangzi: AND THATS WHY YOU AND I ARE FRIENDS, XIAOGE <3

Wu Xie: I—

Zhang Qiling: Are those bunny-shaped marshmallows for me?

[lasquadrasfuckhouse]

ohoho how about la squadra with a s/o that used to be priest/nun, but they have chosen to forsake god

their mind turned out to be the filthiest shit they’ve even encountered, yet their s/o is the one who call his/her boi “filthy sinner”

basically a smug, hypocritical, not openly perverted freak uwu

I’m sorry that u have to work on this but I couldn’t resist the temptation, since your writings brings me so much joy .///.

anon this ask is absolutely fucking hilarious to me because i'm jewish and we have a number of traditional teachings that lend towards some very pragmatic views on sex (and i never really fully understood priest/nun kink and find it funny more than anything because our religious leaders fuck FNFKFKGJFKD) but i will do my best for u!!!! and thank u im so glad my writing brings u joy 🥺

honestly i think views on priest/nun kink from the perspectives of ppl who are Very Much Not Christian should be its own brand of comedy LMAO

la squadra with a partner who was a priest or nun 🛐

HEADS UP: this post contains mentions of religious trauma. pls stay safe i love u and so does la squadra ❤️

18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI

risotto ✂️

he'll be very curious. he and catholicism do not get along, so he'll wonder if he should be wary or if you're a kindred spirit of sorts

part of him looking satanic and scary is cause it makes him feel safe from that sort of environment. if you express to him that you understand that and you're comforted in being an antithesis to that life too, he'll feel very safe with you.

and he does like your filthy mind, it's satisfying to him and also part of that comfort that you were like 'fuck this actually' and did a 180 into being a kinky assassin. hard line at bringing that shit into the bedroom though. not into it. he'd rather get back in touch with his humanity with you instead of feeling like a 'sinner.'

prosciutto 🚬

he'll raise a brow when he learns of your past. he wonders how you wound up here, but he won't ask. he doesn't think much of it.

he would think he wouldn't have expected you to be so depraved, but on the other hand, you did leave that life behind. it's kinda funny to him more than anything

fondly call him a 'filthy sinner' and he'll chuckle and whisper in your ear: hypocrite.

pesci 🎣

he'll honestly wonder if you're like, Okay. like, u good? most people generally don't go from 0 to 100 like that. sweet man is just concerned

HE DEFINITELY DID NOT EXPECT YOU TO BE SO KINKY. it sort of catches him off guard, but then he thinks maybe it shouldn't be so surprising considering the 0 to 100. he's still very flustered, tho

probably not into bringing it into bed. definitely not into degradation, so!!!

formaggio 🧀

he cracks a lot of jokes about it that's for sure. it's really funny to him

he kind of can't believe how kinky you are not for the fact of what you used to do but because it's too good, right? he's definitely into it tho. he likes how no one coulda guessed.

lovingly call him your 'filthy sinner' and he'll hum and grin and flip you on your back. you want a filthy sinner? he'll give you one. you're his sinner, too

illuso ✨

it definitely interests him. he may taunt you about it; embrace the 'fall from grace' as it were (something something lucifer) and he'll be even more interested.

oh, he really likes how kinky you are. he will absolutely tease you about it. you're such a depraved thing, aren't you? no wonder you left a 'holy' life behind.

call him your sinner, and he'll say you're the real sinner here, but he does enjoy being 'unholy' with you. he will absolutely take you into the mirror world to fuck in one of those fancy cathedrals, the whole ass sistine chapel even. thank u michaelangelo for this depiction of christian god so illuso can defy it by making his partner pray to him in front of it instead

melone 🍈

fascinating! he'd be very interested in learning more on your choice to leave and your perspective if you're down for it.

he LOVES how kinky you are. were you always like that? of course you weren't satisfied with that life. he could certainly satisfy you, though.

call him your filthy sinner, and he'll kiss your neck and go, mm, i think that's you, amore.

ghiaccio ❄️

how the fuck does that happen? he may be sort of mildly curious, but that's all.

it makes perfect sense to him that you're Like That, you rejected it all and became an assassin ffs. not that he isn't still a little bit flustered about it.

he doesn't get the fond name. how can he be a 'sinner' if he isn't even christian???? that shit don't make any sense!!!!! if anyone's the 'sinner' here it's you, but he doesn't get that either cause you chose to leave that life anyway. make more sense, dumbass!!!!!

sorbet and gelato 🔪🍦

they're having the time of their lives. they love to see that nonsense taken down a notch, and the fact that you do too and did it so thoroughly? oh. chef's kiss.

OF COURSE YOU'RE KINKY. THEY LOVE IT. they're rather depraved too, so they'll have a lot of fun fucking you every which way and teasing you about it.

'filthy sinner' kind of turns them on. they love being bad with you and walking further away from god with you (or whatever). they don't need the mirror world to fuck you in a cathedral, get on their level!!!!!

[golbrocklovely]

G, N, S, T; sorry just very curious

haha no problem ! i don't mind you asking multiple questions.

G. Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

i usually write in order from the first chapter to the last. for each chapter, before i do any actual writing, i write out everything that's gonna happen in the chapter, like a synopsis. and then once i have every chapter sorted out, then i physically write them out one by one.

if it's a one off fic, i might write out some dialogue randomly if i think of it and want it to occur but don't know where yet. i've learned to do this just bc i have the memory of a spoon lol

i see every fic i write as movie or show, so it's easy to go "scene" by "scene" rather than sporadically.

N. Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

yes. the sequel to "give your heart a break". it's up for grabs yall lol jk

S. Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?

honestly, idk if this is a trope, but i love when ppl write colby as sarcastic and dry and a bit broody. especially the sarcastic part.

i write colby as a lot more sarcastic than i actually think he is. i usually write colby kinda like how my humor is irl, but i don't think that's really realistic. i feel like my humor (or how i write colby) is probs closer to sam rather than colby lol

T. Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?

um... not a trope, but solby. i don't read or interact with fics that have solby in them. and i think the reason why i dislike solby in fics so much is bc some fans read those stories and then believe it. like, if you enjoy reading solby fics, that's fine. but don't ship them irl. they clearly love each other dearly but only in a PLATONIC way.

i mean i have a problem in general with fans taking two guys who are just friends, and that are real ppl, and trying to find some weird way to see if they're gay or secretly dating. i've seen it in so many fandoms, it's ridiculous.

so... yeah. solby. no bueno lol

also, (and this isn't really a trope or something i hate, but i find it funny), that anytime a story is set in hs with snc, they somehow make them so scary and thuggish lol like... snc at 18 years old looked like this:

in WHAT universe are they scary??? they played in marching band. they wore cargo shorts every day. they were the weird kids that would go to haunted/abandoned houses. they probably naruto ran everywhere lol

and i get it, it's a fanfic. you can change how they were. but EVEN THEN, they still looked like this ^^^

THEY LOOK LIKE BABIES ! no amount of all black clothes are gonna make them intimidating lmao

again i don't hate it, i think it adds an extra layer of hilarity without the author meaning it to.

[charmspoint]

what i know abt qifrey from u talking abt him uhh ok so he's genuinely just a nice guy but also he's evil and irredeemable but also he's literally just a pleasant gentleman

I know ur not asking for a rant about this but by god ur gonna get it.

So the thing is, I don't think Qifrey is evil or irredeemable at all. We joke around the fandom (at least i hope its mostly jokes) that he's evil and crazy but he's really not. If id have to pin Qifrey on a morality spectrum I'd say morally gray but leaning towards the good.

Did Qifrey do some messed up stuff? Yes, fo sure. But I've always gotten more of an impression that he's teetering towards the edge and not completely over it. He does do damage but so far he's mostly made sure that damage was extremely localized and not actually harming other people (I talked about before how Qifrey's own memory erasing spell seems weirdly specialized compared to what we were brought to believe memory erasing spell actually does when used by anyone else).

But now comes the question

Do I think Qifrey will get worse?

Yes, 100% I believe this is where we are going towards, I said before that I'm p convinced he will become some kind of obstacle for Coco down the line.

Qifrey is going through a LOT rn. He's already got ptsd from, you know being stripped of his identity, buried alive, almost drowned and then remembering he was experimented on like a lab rat, but now it's getting worse. Before he could at least relay on the fact that even though his past was horrible, his future was bright. He genuinely loves his job, he loves his girls, he loves teaching. This monolog gets me every single time

Now he's losing his future, he's losing not only his eye, but the whole identity he built out of nothing, he's losing his teaching position, he's losing his kids, he's losing Everything he gained after he had already lost Everything.

It leaves him rushing against an uncertain time limit, desperate, stumbling, sloppy. I don't think he's thinking straight anymore, not really. I think he's convinced he is being methodical and calculating but in actuality he's stumbling forward, grasping at straws, unable to hold on to anything but his need for revenge and the empty words that his actions aren't only for his own sake.

It's all very striking, in his relationship with Olruggio in particular. Olruggio is very clearly supposed to be the guiding light for Qifrey, the one who pulls him back when he goes too far, the one who helps him resist the growing darkness. It's very meaningful how as Qifrey continues on his path he makes sure Olruggio doesn't even know about it. He said it himself, if Olruggio knew, he'd try to save him. He'd try to bring Olruggio to light again and Qifrey doesn't WANT to be saved, he has decided on a road he wants to take and he won't allow anyone to change his course. Not even Olruggio.

So do I think Qifrey is evil?

No

Do I think he'll get worse?

Yes

Do I think he'll become evil?

Not really

See here's the thing. Qifrey's desperation, how quickly he's trying to work through this, how determined he is to throw everything else under the bus if he could just achieve his goals? All of that is dictated by the fact he's running out of time, the fact that once he loses his eyesight he can no longer be a witch. Eyesight is VERY important to witches since magic is a very visual art. We've seen with Tartar how something as seemingly miniscule as color blindness can basically doom someone, causing everyone around them to say they can't become a witch without good eyesight. So complete blindness is a death sentence to a witches career. Now, it's funny how a lot of the Coustas and Tartars arc has to do with adjusting the world to disability and not the person to the world. How it's made pointed, over and over again, that people with disabilities shouldn't be written off but given proper tools that will help them function, how the world should adjust to be a more comfortable place for all kinds of people and not just those who are already adjusted to it. Without the threat of his eyesight going out and cutting his whole identity into bits, Qifrey wouldn't have to act like this, he would be able to sit and think and not rush and if he still wants to pursue brimhats he could do it more safely for himself and everyone else because the desperation factor would be gone.

So what I think is going to happen is that Qifrey will lose his eyesight but won't lose his standing as a witch because he, Olruggio and the kids will figure out how to make magic accessible to him.

Now there's of course a bunch more unaccounted for variables which I'll probably have a better grasp on after the current arc is done being translated. Ininia and Lord Restis represent a very interesting development because they are brimhats introduced specifically via healing injuries. The rule of 'medicine magic isn't allowed cuz it's a slippery slope' has been there since the beginning of the series and a big thorn in the 'yeah the witch world rules are good and fair' side cuz of course, everyone thinks healing people should be allowed. Now the brimhats we've had so far were fully ready to attack and experiment on children's bodies in order to further their own goals so of course that immediately leaves you disliking them and not putting much account into their rhetoric even though it does make sense at times, but ur not gonna listen to ppl experimenting on kids. That's why I think Ininia and Lord Restis are interesting, cuz if they aren't literally attacking children they might get a good case in about medicine magic being allowed. I think we are going towards at least some sort of medicine magic becoming acceptable considering Tartar's arc. But then the question is, if some sort of medicine magic is approved, will it be used to heal disabilities cuz like...that would kinda suck. I would much rather have a 'world should be adjusted so disabled people can participate in it equally' narrative rather than the 'just heal the disability with magic lol' narrative. But honestly this whole paragraph is pure speculation because the arc isn't fully translated or even fully out yet but I sure af am LOOKING at it. I think it will be v important in understanding where the story is going to go. I just hope Shirahama does a good job with it, but honestly she never once let me down up until now so I'm feelin positive.

Circling back to Qifrey, I do think he's one of the kindest, most understanding, most lovable characters I've had a joy of reading and studying. But he does have a black hole in him that is pulling apart all that kindness, leaving him a shattering shell. I don't think he's evil, I don't think he'll ever become truly evil and despite what he's done I don't think any of what he did is irredeemable, especially with how careful he tends to be not to take away from people more than he has to to further his own goals. But I do think that hole will eat at him more and more and that before he can get better somebody will have to notice it and help him plug it up. Olruggio noticed and Qifrey refused the help, convinced that he can't be helped, not in the way he needs. He will need proof that he can keep his future before he can ease up on the frantic hunt after his past

[sorrowschengmei]

cw for discussion of generational trauma and its common themes

today has been a very, very intense day.

first of all, i gave my last try to german classes. it’s just... too much. too fucking much. i have been enjoying trying to learn german but the thing is, roughly 50% of my deepest trauma happened at that mf german school, and BECAUSE they were german and i’m not [i mean, in theory i’m more german than a lot of people there bc of my citizenship status, but which racist 5 year old would look at riz ahmed and say ‘ah yes, that’s a Very German Person]

someday maybe i’ll return but for now i really don’t want to. you know trauma is deep when you FEEL it has been triggered, but you can’t trace the uneasy feeling to any specific situation...

plus, the course was way too fucking early for my current sleep schedule and my energy is already absolutely depleted bc of, well, that’s another whole fucking story

then, i got my new therapist appointment and... as soon as i commented i am suspicious i might have BPD, she was like ‘bitch you’re the walking diagnose criteria for BPD. congratulations’ [ofc not in these terms-- therapists might be terrible in general but they still have a modicum of decency]

so i’m like... yay i guess? i finally know with certainty wtf is so deeply wrong with me? see i’ve been reading on validation and coping mechanisms for people with BPD and it has been SO useful and helpful. like, they KNOW. i feel like i am roughly 90% of the time i’m awake yelling to the void trying to make people UNDERSTAND me, with a success rate of roughly 0,1% in an especially fortunate day.

they just don’t, unless they have it too but that usually mean they’re as lost as you regarding this whole ‘interacting with people’ shebang... are they noticing message frequency, tone, vocabulary etc as much as i’m doing rn? are they also deciding i Hate Them (tm) randomly and so i need to be put in the Emotional Fridge for People That I Hate But I Am Too Emotionally Attached to Block(tm)?  :’’’)

 this week also was the week i completed with my dad the family album of the Lebanese part of the family. it’s a very beautiful album, we asked my sister who knows Arabic to make a page with all the original and diaspora names of the people there, with Arabic script and Romanisation. the cover is also in Arabic traditional calligraphy [what everyone must know by now, is pretty much stunning] 

as a person nearing his Saturn return and a qi gong practitioner, heritage has been pretty important for me lately. from learning how to affirm myself as West Asian diaspora w/o falling into other kinds of oppression [Chinese diaspora in the US who silence mainland Chinese ppl in this fandom, you have been my GREATEST counter example] to actually learning about the people i come from, a lot of my spirituality and energy has been spent in looking behind me.

i come from a lineage of deep generational trauma, in all sides, but the Lebanese side now i learn, their struggle is simply heartbreaking, ESPECIALLY the women. i come from a lineage of women who have dealt with incest, rape, war, mental illness, cultural assimilation, institutional sexism. despite not being a woman, i realise now i am the spiritual heir of their pain. i could not have been anything different from who i am, it’s as part of my blood as having curly hair and big black upturned eyes.

i also know i come from a lineage of silk weavers. of women who took part on creating beauty and prosperity, and keeping culture alive. who resisted everything thrown at them, the most inhumane ways of depriving one of dignity, and passed down their name and history to this day. it’s not a coincidence i’m SO invested in traditional dress and costume design, now i see. it’s as part of my blood as having full and arched brows and a downturned nose.

tomorrow i’ll have an appointment with a doctor to try to solve my reproductive system issues and then i’ll finally try on my Xue Yang costume. the energies this week are so, so, so wild. i hope i can thrive.       

[alister312]

HIII NON SP FAN ANON HERE OK SO first of all sorry for the long ask SECOND OF ALL me and pp anon are in a theatre class together and were doing a final project which is pretty much free choice (theyre doing improv i think) and i decide to write a script so pp was like "make it gregstophe" and i was like ok!! but also like tma brainrot so jon and martin are there. actually its more like jmart play ft. gregstophe bc they come in like halfway during the first scene but ANYWAYS im gonna tell you the plot.

ok so basically martin beats some mf to death bc they were being mean to his little meow meow (jon (also i just remembered i changed jons name to john to make it a little less obvious)) and johns like wtf. stop it. and they almost get into an argument but then johns like we gotta clean this up. and thats when gregory and christophe stroll in and r like we can do that! pay up and jons like ok and thats the end of the first scene!! and rn im working on scene 2 with just gregstophe and martin discussing john!!!

also idk if its obvious but i am a firm believer in jon not john. idc ab the transcripts their full name is JONATHAN NOT JOHNATHAN !! (jonny has a valid reason tho so good for him)

ALSO THEYRE ALL TRANS (and nonbinary except for martin) bc they/them jon is so... <3 i love jon so much 😭😭😭😭 omg i kinda wanna draw them now,, anyways

ok so third of all i was thinking ab gregstophe tma au again and i asked a bunch of random questions to pp and i think christophe would be a buried/corruption avatar??? pp said he would like bugs and i think the corruption would like feeding onto whatever he and his mom got going on.. and digging for the buried ofc

gregory seems like an elias kinnie to me idk.. maybe its bc he seems smug and british or something... so maybe eye avatar??? i actually focused a lot more on christophe questions lmao,, also i dont know anything ab canon but i see a lot of stuff with them as... mecrcanianies??? mercansines??? idk how to spell it but they like kill ppl or something i think that could lead them down into becoming hunt avatars... idk maybe im just thinkin ab christophe kinning daisy 😭😭

hmmm i wanna work on a consistent artstyle i like so i can draw gregstophe and jmart double date i think that would be neat :DD

ok i think those r all my relevant thoughts for now byee have a good day/evening !!!!

hey again bestie!! ooh theatre class :O i did a lot of theatre in high school. even wrote a gregstophe-inspired one act once lmao so I get just how inspiring they can be

that plot all sounds very good so far! I’m curious if they’re going to get into more silly hijinks trying to hide the bodies or if you’ll be going down a more dark and serious route? either way I wish you luck!! also fuck yeah trans rights

I can’t speak much on the tma terminology or character comparisons (but I wholeheartedly trust you as someone who is clearly passionate about it). however, on the subject of Gregory and Christophe as mercenaries:

in the movie, Gregory is initially the one who is supposed to go free Terrance and Phillip (two political prisoners who are about to be publicly executed). however, Stan insists that he go instead so Gregory tells him he has to go and request the services of a mercenary named “The Mole”. when he meets Stan and his gang, Christophe only calms down once they mention they were sent by “that Gregory kid”. this seems to imply that Christophe is probably often hired by Gregory to do mercenary work. “mercenary work” is such a broad term though, bc it could mean literally anything so long as Christophe is paid for it. however, since Gregory is such a political revolutionary (and Christophe specifically says “viva la resistance”), fans have tended to have them working against corrupt governments or corporations. often in the form of assassinations and breaking into compounds.

hopefully that bit of information is helpful for you! again, I wish you the best of luck in continuing to write your script and with making art 👀 imo the true secret to making art is that art styles only exist in so much as that you find what works best at the moment. art styles change and that’s a good thing! unless you’re doing a webcomic I don’t think you necessarily need to find a “consistent” style (and even then it’s totally not required) ☺️

[lizacstuff]

Bölüm 45 asks

Plus a few asks from 44, and one about the fragman for 46

Read more under the cut

Anonymous asked: I cannot believe that Ayse revived the "Kemal is Serkan's real father" theory but I think I'm down for it? At least now Kiraz has one decent grandparent and he seems like genuinely nice man. I've been wishing for him to have some scenes with Serkan because the way they set up this S2 plot, they could relate to one another and I was sad to see that he spent 5 years hiding instead

I'm down for this plot! See, now that I know they're doing the long-lost-father plot, it makes all the sense in the world why Serkan doesn't like Kemal and they didn't forge a relationship in the last five years. If they had, then finding out he's his dad would have been a lot less jarring and dramatic. Finding out now and then forging the relationship I think will be a bit more meaty story so it works for me.

To me this story works on a lot of levels, and makes sense with who Serkan is and his very strained relationship with Alptekin. It's like Alptekin sensed it, and resented Serkan his whole life. For those worried that Serkan will no longer have the last name Bolat, I'm not sure where that's coming from. Maybe I'm just not familiar with other cultures, but that is his name, Alptekin raised him, adults don't just up and change their name because of genetics. If you're adopted and you meet your bio dad as an adult, you don't change your name to your bio dad's.

Serkan's name is very much a part of his identity. Which is why this story has so much potential, because it could shake Serkan to his very core to find out who he thought he was, was wrong. He thought he was unlovable, most importantly maybe he'll finally realize there was more at play there and it wasn't at fault.

Anonymous asked: There were a couple things in the last episode that didn't sit well with me. 1. I can't believe Eda made Serkan sleep outside at night and didn't feel bad in the morning when she realized he got sick! 2. The way Seyfi announced Aydan and Kemal's secret relationship. It wasn't his secret to tell, though Aydan did deserve the way everyone reacted. So I got over that pretty quick. 3. Burak!!! He's not the one for Melo. She deserves better and if they end up together in the end, I'm gonna protest.

1. Unless you're going to put the same energy into not believing that Serkan had the gal to remove his bed on the floor as a way to maneuver himself into Eda's bed before she was ready, I really can't relate. It was done for comedy, my advice is to unclench and just giggle along.

2. Or you could look at it as being unfair of Aydan to burden Seyfi with that secret and require he lie to his other employer for five years. I mean I don't disagree that it wasn't his secret to tell, but Aydan had plenty of chances, and it was time for it to come out.

3. This one we are in 100% agreement about. MELO DESERVES BETTER. I will die on this hill.

Anonymous asked: Hi! Do you think Serkan actually believes in Kerem's abilities (he trusts Eda's faith in Kerem) or is this part of his plan to win Eda back? Either way I'm okay, just wondering what you think.

No, I do not think he gained a sudden belief in Kerem's abilities, but I do think he believes in Eda. And if Eda believes in Kerem then when push comes to shove that is enough for Serkan. Of course, he did it as part of his plan to win Eda back. Serkan is taking every opportunity to let Eda know that he respects her and believes in her and I think this was another example of that. There was also an aspect of him trying to win over another person in Eda's circle who was suspicious of him. The fewer people he has working against him, the better! He knows he has no shot with Burak or Ayfer, so this episode he worked on Melo and Kerem. But mostly it was him trying to make Eda's life easier, by smoothing over a personnel problem she was having, thus making working out of Art Life a more attractive option for her. All of those things in one!

Anonymous asked: What do you think about Eda and Piril's friendship? This episode really highlighted how close they've gotten.

Yes, they have gotten close, and I'm happy Eda has a friend, but at the same time I don't trust Piril. This is a woman who discarded Eda and embraced Selin when she was manipulating and abusing a brain-damaged Serkan.

Eda might be able to forget, but I can't. Also as a character she's just boring, rigid and humorless. One of my least favorites on screen.

That being said I do like the triad dynamic of Kiraz/Can, Serkan/Engin, and Eda/Piril, it was fun when they were calling each other at the same time.

Anonymous asked: Idk if they reached out to Maya just because she looked like Hande considering she had no acting experience, but this little girl is like the best casting I've seen. The chemistry with Hande and Kerem is amazing. She's so expressive. I am a Kiraz stan.

She's doing a fantastic job, precious thing! I have no idea how they found her, I know she was an instagram model, but the SCK casting director strikes again. This season doesn't work if we don't fall in love with Kiraz. Thankfully, we did!

Anonymous asked: Hi! Since it seems that we will have 13 episodes, do you think that Edser reconciliation/wedding will be left for the finale, 12-13 ep? Cause Ayse loves to drag and keep them apart.

I think the wedding might be closer to the end, but I think reconciliation will be a bit sooner than that.

However, I have to say that it's really not like they're apart.. is it? I mean this episode we had them living together, sort of casually planning their future together. Next episode we have them pretending to be married and ramping up the sexual tension to white-hot-sun levels, these are all good things. With episodes like this, I don't personally consider the show dragging it out.

In fandom I see a lot of peeps upset because Eda isn't getting immediately back with Serkan and I am feeling inpatient as well, do you think the writers are making a mistake keeping them apart?

Again, I guess my response to you is, by what definition was this episode "keeping them apart?"

Yes, they aren't having sex, but they are living together, working together, raising their daughter together, and I'm a-okay with having a couple of delicious episodes of that while they are still not fully back together romantically. Let's be real, they're still waking up in bed together, flirting, and having a romantic dinner together, so it's not like things aren't moving forward, they are. I'd advise putting aside your impatience, and just sit back, relax, and let the story take its course. There is no need to be anxious with this one. They are going to end up with their happily ever after together, but what we're seeing right now is delightful. It's them in family and domestic situations, them with their child. Most shippers only dream of getting to see this.

This sort of goes back to my stance on episodes 16-24, I know that was a frustrating time for a lot of fans because they were "broken up" but I've always said they may have been officially broken up, but they were in a committed relationship that entire time. And I enjoyed those episodes from that perspective, that tension of them being "apart" but still functioning as a unit and still being emotionally tied together underneath it all. There's kind of a similar situation here, they aren't officially back together, Eda is resisting him, but they are in a committed relationship and I don't understand what the need is to rush through this part? Enjoy the sexual tension of them living together, but not sleeping together. Enjoy the rom com romp of Serkan trying to get in her bed, and Eda taking steps to keep him out. Enjoy their daughter putting them in situations that force them into close proximity, and enjoy them falling into easy compatibility without even trying. Enjoy Serkan planning romantic dinners, and Eda enjoying it despite her every effort to protect her heart.

To me this is very good stuff, and spending this time being impatient and wanting what didn't happen yet, instead of enjoying what did happen is pretty much the recipe for unhappiness not just with this show, but life.

Anonymous asked: i feel like i've seen the exact same frustrations ppl have had with eda right now back around the 20s too after serkan told her about her parents' secret. it was like, now that he's told her the truth, she should automatically forgive him and get back together. same thing happening here, with him accepting his role as kiraz's father. it feels like the same impatience that's put on eda to just forgive him already bc everyone wants happy edser and she's in the way lol.. like girl needs time!

Agreed, and it makes me wonder if these folks have ever watched television before, lmao. Patience! There's a story unfolding and from the first 6 episodes it's clear they have a season long arc planned. All in due time.

Eda spent five years thinking that Serkan stopped loving her, and discarded her for work. The second time he used that excuse to break her heart. My goodness, it's more than okay if she needs a little time to adjust and learn how to trust him again. PLUS that means we get to watch him work on her, try to make inroads, romance her, forge a relationship with his daughter and earn Eda's trust back. What's bad in that?

What did you think of the fragman? It's kind of dumb and unrealistic that they have to dance for a school admission interview.

LMAO. Yes, yes it is, but my question to you is, sana ne?

I mean why do you care if the set up is dumb or not? Or if it's realistic? It's a device to get Serkan and Eda to pretend to be married before they're fully back together and an excuse for us to see Edser smash themselves together in a sensual tangle of limbs while they pretend to be unaffected, while both are being engulfed in USTy flames.

I'm not complaining, why are you?

Come on, this show is silly, it has been from day one, enjoy the fact that we are getting silly plots that force our couple into hilarious and hot situations, because Hande and Kerem are going to give us gold, I guarantee it and I'm going to smile through every second watching it.

xxxxxxxxxx

These asks are from episode 44, they came in and I didn't have time to answer before 45 aired:

Anonymous asked: Do you think there is a point when there are too many “parallels” and it becomes more like scenes are being recycled? Because I kinda felt that way in the last episode. Like she’s just tossing in as many things as she can from those first 11 episodes but I’ve already watched those and Id rather we focus more character progression. I feel like they regressed from those honest conversations last week and were back to being petty this week.

I guess my answer is... no, I don't think there have been too many parallels. Episode 44 was partly about truth bubbling to the surface, with the biggest truth being that Serkan has been in love with Eda every minute of every day since they parted. That is a very important thing for Eda to understand and know and they really can't move forward until she does, because she felt unloved and forgotten all those years. Most of the parallels were illustrating that by showing that he held on to their history, he remembered their history and he honored it. Okay by me.

Anonymous asked: There were some amazing dialogues in the episode. I have two that tie for top. One was when Kiraz said that Serkan was her wish (when blowing her birthday candles), and the other was when Serkan said Apollo was never going to give up on the woman he loves nor on the cherries! Oh my heart had feels both times. What were your favourite dialogues in the episode?

Oh man my head is in 45 now, but both of those examples of yours were great. I loved both of them.

The other than springs to mind is while fishing, Eda telling Serkan that he didn't need to be perfect for Kiraz to love him, he just had to be himself.

Swoon.

That's so important for Serkan to hear, because he doesn't think he's worthy of love as himself, so hearing that from Eda is impactful.

Anonymous asked: reading your ep review, i think a big reason some people are hanging on to hate the s2 plot no matter what are just bc they hate the writer. of course not everyone, but a lot of people will just hate on anything she writes out of spite, even if objectively the episode is very good. idk why that is or when ppl decided they hated her but it's not warranted at all imo. i can understand not liking the premise of this season, but after watching it so far there has been SUCH an improvement edser-wise.

People can like, dislike, love, hate anything they want. Consuming entertainment doesn't have to be a team sport. That being said, from what I've seen I'd agree with your assessment. Teams have formed (Anti-Ayse, Pro-Ayse, etc) and the former are too invested in hating everything she does, the former possibly too forgiving at times. That's their choice, but I have to say I feel bad for the anti brigade, this is a show they loved, and most of them are still watching, but they've completely sabotaged themselves from finding any joy in any of it and I think they're going to regret it once it's over.

Also season 2 is so much better than I thought it could be. I honestly thought there was no way to get back to the early quality, but it's here. The show is really watchable and fun this season, and it's a shame for those who've let their attitudes get so negative that they can't enjoy it.

Anonymous asked: Ok so I'm aware this would be highly uncharacteristic of a dizi - but if they know there's only 6 eps left, my dream would be no more big bad events and just spend it rebuilding EdSer as a couple and a family. Would that be too much to ask lol. They've jumped from one disaster to another. Since we're at the end & they have the luxury of knowing it, I just want to see them working through things as a real unit. They've dated for like 7 eps out of 45? Can we get that above 10 at least????

Congratulations! Because that's exactly what we've gotten so far in season 2. Once we got past the trauma of the 5 year time jump, all the drama has been internal to Eda and Serkan and their relationship. The whole season so far has been about rebuilding Edser as a couple and a family. And if you're watching without the tauntruming twitter teens in your ear, you'd realize we ARE watching them work through things as a real unit.

I'll say this until I'm blue in the face (apparently) just because they are not currently sexing each other up, does not mean they aren't emotionally doing all the things necessary to reach their full potential as a couple.

They are. It's happening. Enjoy it.

[the-starset-system]

Do you got any ideas for increasing communication? I really wanna talk to my system but it's so hard :(

I could just give you the common advice but you can find all of that with a quick Google search. Lemme give you some stuff that's personally helped us:

GET OUTTA mY RoOm IM PLAyiNG MINECRAF

Lmao I couldn't resist, but yee, Minecraft has actually helped us communicate more than anything. It gives everyone creative freedom and with mechanics like signs and books it's easy to leave notes within the game. The littles adore it too :D

I actually have a lot to say about playing as a system on Minecraft, so I might make a separate post if any of you want to hear. I'll probably be discussing how it helps and how to set all that stuff up, since figuring out how everything would work with inventory and stuff rattled our brain at first (;ŏ﹏ŏ)

Art!

Creating things is a great way to learn more about your system and maybe uncover trauma details in a more gentle fashion! We personally draw and write, but music, dance, videos, etc. all work!

It doesn't even have to be about your system, it could be feelings or thoughts. Just something to pick your brain, to learn more about yourself since it's easy to fall down a pit when you don't know who you are, let alone your system.

That's one of the most important things in my opinion, having a grounded sense of self before really jumping into everything. When we jumped in not really knowing who we are ourselves it was hard to understand one another and I do believe that carelessness still affects us to this day, so just try to understand your own self as well

Don't laugh, but dress up games

Yeah yeah I know the kinda reputation some of them hold, but when we first discovered we were a system and started trying to work together that was the first thing we done. We knew we didn't identify with this body, but at the same time a majority of us were particularly unsure of what we did look like. Having little avatars to dress up was so helpful cause we would ask ourselves "does this feature have any significance?" or "Why am I attached to this certain feature?". Slowly after sifting through different options we could say "that's me". It was really reassuring and helped us recognize each other. It even helped with figuring out who was fronting because someone would feel unsettled about a certain feature being missing.

We still use little apps sometimes for fun or if someone new split / came out of dormancy :]

Making time

This is gonna sound silly, but think of communicating with your system the same way you would in a relationship. This is something you're likely gonna be dealing with for a good while so it's good to have close bonds with everyone. Bonds are the key to communicating cause I mean, would you wanna talk to someone you dislike?? If you're having trouble with system conflict I'd recommend checking out my other post I made about it.

But where does making time come into this? Aha sorry I actually got off topic but I feel like it's important regardless so I ain't erasing it-

What I mean by making time is well, making time. It's harder to communicate when there's so much going on around you cause you'll get distracted. What we do is set out however much free time we have that day to bundle up in our room and pretend we're sleeping, when in reality the low amount of sensory stimuli makes it easy to focus on talking to everyone. This doesn't always goes as planned, sometimes we just have bad days and can't communicate. If that's the case we'll keep trying for a few minutes before going off to do something else.

That's one thing to always remember, everyone has bad day and that's okay!

So, those are some ideas, but I also wanted to go over some things you should avoid too, kinda like do's and dont's!

Forcing communication

There's often a reason someone in the system avoids communicating, as well as a reason you may not be able to communicate with anyone. At the end of the day you gotta remember this was formed out of survival, needing to not be able to communicate, to forget, in order to properly function.

If things aren't helping then maybe give it some time, you might just not be at a good point in your life right now and your brain knows, saying "hey, we still don't feel too good, I wanna be prepared for any other tough situations we might go through" and that's okay. The mass media loves to portray ppl with DID having flawless communication and that's just not the truth. People understand it's a hard battle and I can assure you many in the community have your back :]

Fake claiming

-One of my worst habits, it's easy to say "no that's not real". Sometimes it might not be but I know from my own mistakes that more than likely it is. It can hurt a lot of system members, making them feel like their voice doesn't matter or even make them go on a spiral if they really are real.

I don't really have much more to say, it's pretty self explanatory. Just keep an open mind

You don't have to be differentiated

Another thing we're all guilty of, we thought we had to all act super different to be valid. Spoiler alert: you're valid no matter what

Once again, I feel like it's pretty self explanatory, but forcing yourself to be different from x, y, and z person sucks cause you never get to be yourself. You don't need to be differentiated, your perfect the way you are, regardless of who may share those same traits

That's all I can think of right now, but knowing me I'll come up with a million more things after I post this

I did come up with a really good explanation of what building communication is like though and I wanted to share:

Think of it as leveling up in a video game. All these tasks may seem useless but slowly your collecting XP and getting closer to your goal. That's why you gotta keep at it!

So, keep going on those seemingly useless quests and fighting that boss monster no matter how many times you get thrown to the ground, cause every last bit is worth it (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

I hope this helps! Sorry if I got a bit off topic! I have a habit of that (• ▽ •;) I was writing on and off so things may be a bit choppy. Aaaa sorryyyy but thank you for the askkkk! And remember, I am not a professional and my words should not replace / overwrite seeking professional help if possible! Regardless, I hope you have a good week! 💫