#i WISH i was joking but that's how things are rn
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
Muzz!!! Hello I hope you're doing well waa!
I hope you're sleeping also!! squints my eyes at you (affectionate)
KIBS!!!! HELLO KIBBS HI. I'm doing alright thank you for asking!! I hope YOU are doing FANTASTIC!!!!!! don't look at my sleep schedule though. it's fine I promise it's FINE but don't. look at it ok
#hi Kibs not to sound dramatic or anything but um. this ask made me sniffle. a little#i WISH i was joking but that's how things are rn#i have been feeling a little Not Great about my lack of presence over here on this webbed site#because I miss you I miss my friends#and I don't participate in the many many discord group chats i'm in because I am shy and bad at initiating conversation#and i don't participate in magmas because i'm too self conscious for magmas#but that just leaves me in a corner ALONE like a LOSER while everyone else is partying. like that one meme#which is something i could totally fix myself in under a day if i just got myself out there but that has yet to happen#ALL OF THIS TO SAY#I was touched by you reaching out and I'm going to be hugging this ask to my chest for the next few hours. days even#THANK YOU ILU I LOVE MY FRIENDS. I HOPE YOUR DAY/NIGHT IS WONDERFUL AND YOU GET LOTS OF SLEEP
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
Headcanon: Deep down they both want to be their fairy godparent/godkid again after losing them, but don't believe they deserve each other and feel like they aren't worthy to be their companion anymore
They both need counseling and therapy as a whole package
#fairly oddparents#fairly oddparents a new wish#peri#peri fairywinkle cosma#dev dimmadome#fop a new wish#peri fairly oddparents#a new wish#periwinkle#the fairly oddparents#dev#my art#fanart#I like how both Peri and Dev is the type who prefers not directly express their feelings because they want to be seen as cool/independent#and be loved by the people that they care of#in other words#a tsundere//hit#jokes aside I like to think another reason why Dev cried during that scene is because-#he realized he's doing the same thing that his dad has done to him but on Peri#and yet Peri still cares for him despite his treatment towards him#like how Dev still loves his dad despite being a terrible father#and just..want to do everything right by him to earn his dad affection#man#Also ngl I have a hunch that Dev might still remember since Hazel's ''no rule'' wish was pretty vague#so maybe he counts in that wish?#plus he was wearing sunglasses before the memory wipe which maybe that won't affect him as well?#you can see I'm coping rn#I do hope this is only temporary and we will see them being back together in season 2 tho#giving them both some time to reflect and growth#because Peri clearly needs more experience in his job and Dev needs his character development for season 2
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
I heard its her birthday and had a sudden urge to draw kirararararararrara
#I LOVE YOU GO PRINCESS PRECURE GRRR ARRHHEGHAHRKJHR#im behind on hirogaru sky rn. im sorry.#i missed most of delicious precure too </3333#rosemary and spicy im so sorry. ill come back to them eventually#rosemarys look slike kanata if he was better. hes so cool#cant he barbecue or smth. fuck yeah.#precure#pretty cure#go princess precure#cure twinkle#amanogawa kirara#i wrote amonogawa at first im sorry. theres an easy joke here. sorry.#can i talk abt how much i love go princess and heartcatchs villains. i love them.#i like how shut gets more pathetic and silly as the show goes on. and i looooove twilight/scarlet/towa love love love you#shes so cool and lame at the same time. girl that acts really cool but her lameness and silliness shines theough in everything she does#opposite of yuri/moonlight who looks lame and silly but is effortlessly cool all the time i adore her#imagine finding out ur nerd senior is the coolest superhero in the world. ehat the hell#anyway. love shut and towa i hate when theyre in the same frame. that was really weird. wish that wasnt a thing#kanata and haruka too i hate that old precures like this#you know what precure series ISNT like this……… heartcatch. watch heartcatch.#thats a lot of ramble tags ok. im done. gootbye#art tag#i forgor…..
189 notes
·
View notes
Text
I support girls but NAH THIS IS REACHING “if you look carefully LIKE REALLY CAREFULLY 🤓☝️”
#the same people who would shriek like the witch of the north melting her skin off if I tell you haikaveh / kavetham isn’t implied because#if you actually look into our culture they’re being normal and not everyone having rivalry and caring about each other means they’re 💅#in fact Arabs are some of the worlds most hospitable people alhaitham letting kaveh live with him#is the most Arab thing I’ve ever seen#heck if kaveh was a stranger it wouldn’t be unusual for an Arab to let him in their house ☠️#goddamn#“if you look in the internet you can see how they’re implied!🤓☝️”#maybe if you had any respect for my culture or any desire to be educated when I’m handing this to you for free you wouldn’t be your mistake#your mums greatest mistake 🤗🤗🤗*#dora daily#if only ppl dedicated this level of detail to actual culture compared to pulling out their microscope at level 100x magnification lens to#observe robins spots under her eyes the world would be a better place 🙀#let me tell you btw this whole I hate you meh meh meh ( I’m so in love with you ) trope is the most whitest booktok millennial plant growing#basement dweller nonesense I have ever heard in my life don’t do that to my pookies ☹️#( the pookies in fact were 11 and 9 years older than her respectively )#guys my dad is the straightest man alive ( oh the trauma lowkey wish he wasn’t ) and he legit was putting his hand on his best friends lap#LMAOOO even I as a very logical person was like bro this is so zesty rn I am SO uncomfortable#anyways live laugh love boothill x Baizhu they’re the most canon things I’ve ever seen in my life#<- this is a joke btw it’s an ironic ship I saw on tiktok ☠️
56 notes
·
View notes
Text
did you know if you write your rng improves by 10% per draft.
#❛ ♡ › jupiter : 𝐨𝐨𝐜.#im joking btw just magically got the skyward harp on the standard for tartaglia and my day is maaaade.#my characters are coming tg a bit more as well.#i also finally breached ar50 (which ive been on for like 6 months iirc???)#and am now 57!#and won xia.ngli ya.o in wuw.a today <3#a productive weekend all in all.#im going through a phase rn where there is. a lot i want to do but i havent organised myself properly to do it all.#so im going to try one super long draft and then plan out how i wish to make this week run.#sorry to anyone who is waiting for things. my writing mojo is back enough to let me know i can def do a lot of things in the next couple of#weeks! so just you wait <3
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Internet archive I love you❤️❤️❤️
#my 14 year old self is crying tears of joy rn#I was able to recover videos of a yt channel that I used to follow as a teen but was closed by the owner from one day to the other#for *years* I thought I'd never see them again (aside very few scattered reuploads)#granted my interests changed and I was occupied with other things#but every once in a while I was wishing I could just watch at least my nr 1 favourite video of them just one more time#but NOW I found out that someone salvaged basically the entire channel and just - put the videos up for downloading?!#it feels so unreal because after all this time I can just watch them again? as often as I want?! and they're mine to keep forever?!! ahhhh#I'm getting unreasonably emotional over this but that channel genuinely meant a lot to me at the time#I still remember that I was on the school bus home when I discovered it was gone#and I swear if I hadn't been in a public setting I'd legit have cried over it. it certainly ruined an otherwise really nice day for me#granted my 14y/o self probably had a bit of a dumb sense of humour (harmless. but dumb. what do you expect from a 14y/o?)#(hence I'm also hesitant to mention the channel name bc I'm not sure if I'm ready to potentially embarrass myself)#but I still feel an odd fondness looking back because I know how much those videos meant to her <3#especially my one favourite video which 1. was the sole reason I discovered one of my favourite tv shows ever#and 2. was probably the spark that really ignited my initial interest in animation and digital arts#bc for the first time I consciously realised that you can actually do cool and fun stuff even as just one single person#and that you don't need an entire animation team to just - express yourself creatively and bring your ideas to life#like I'm not even joking when I say if it wasn't for that channel I might have ended up in an entirely different education/career path#anyway I'm happy. but I'll stop now. oh gods I'm abusing the tags again instead of just writing all that *into* the actual post#internet archive#personal#selnia talks
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
🐀
#vent in the tags o7#I got on Twitter a too much and see the coachella 2024 on the recommended feed#it makes me sad because I’m not a music guy so I wouldn’t have cared much#but mcyt’s quirked up white boy was meant to be there and#it’s really like why are people terrible?#I wish he did not abuse women#but I guess in a sad selfish way#idk how to word it’s just. man#the dsmp adjacent scene is so fucked up rn#there isn’t a lot of joy left in the fandom space I lurked in#so I guess I miss that#that maybe if mr gold wasnt awful things would be normal#maybe Wilbur soot underpaid those qsmp employees actually#(for legal reasons that is a joke)
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
have discovered a new enemy while doing research for the honours essay. why are you pretending to understand psychology and BLATANTLY misinterpreting actual terms and concepts in order to tear down a movie aimed at teenage girls, my good bitch. i'm going to start biting
#you got the WRONG BITCH bc you just hit on two of my biggest interests (zombie movies and psychology) at once#FIRST of all. you dont have the credentials to be talking abt this and it shows bc why dont you know what psychotic means!!#simple shit!! you want to pretend you know psychology dont fuck up psychopathology psychopathy and psychosis! all different things!#you can BARELY conceive of narcissism. a one off joke about how a character recognizes his flaws and wishes he was respected more#is NOT proof to label someone as a fucking narcissist oh my god. id actually argue the complete opposite#you are accusing A Zombie of being abusive based on (checks notes) being scary looking eating brains and /protecting a girl/#bc uhhhhhhh smth smth dark triad smth smth twi/ight#last time i checked thats literally just fucking normal ass zombie shit + him being NICE!!#its not male gaze 'ocular aggression' bestie he cant blink. hes dead.#talking about how the zombie is unrepentantly creepy when he Literally worries about coming off as creepy In The Movie out loud#SECONDLY to circle back why are you so stressed about twilight. thats not even the subject of the chapter#(there are good critiques of those movies but this is not that)#your book came out in 2015 why were you still shitting your pants and crying that girls were having fun 3yrs ago at the EARLIEST#reaching so fucking hard to 'um ackshewally [thing that teenage girls like] bad' im shocked you didnt throw your fuckin back out#your arguments are nonsensical your positions reveal an alarming level of sexism and you should be ashamed#levi.txt#believe it or not im having fun rn. im funny complaining not angry complaining#w@rm b0dies isnt a Good movie but i will go to bat for it actually. let teenage girls have fun garbage#god knows adult men have enough of their own to choose from ESP in this genre#and its a movie that has a lot of interesting shit someone could analyze!! im focusing on it as a representation of changing feminism#but id love to see a reading of its portrayal of zombiehood as disability + its cure narrative#or critiquing how it writes its female characters bc admittedly theyre bad ngl#or on how survival is represented in comparison to films like zomb!e/and (which i also love) where you 'earn' survival with competence!#genuinely there is even smth to be said for the problematic nature of the brain eating element. id be intrigued by that paper#i dont think its much worse than the play the movie is based on? but its not nothing#it Is ultimately a little bit fucked up and i dont think the movie explores it enough#but noooooo we gotta talk about how the zombie is a narcissistic abuser bc of the brain eating. ok
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Saturday Six (Stuff)
Cats woke me up too dang early. It was mostly Reggie, of course, so I chucked him out (don't @ me about it - he's and indoor/outdoor Boi) because that's what he wanted anyway. I didn't realize it was that cold until later, when I actually got up, thanks to Leeloo. So, I went out and called Reggie several times, with no luck. He decided to wait to come back after three + hours of being outside (not too unusual, but random enough) and I give him the Molly Weasley "Where *HAVE* you been?!" he just looks at me and gives a "maow" like "Whassup mom? Wassall the hubbub?" Crazy damn cat. Gotta love em. (^・ω・^ )
I'm really getting upset about the business situation. Idk what to do. It's bad, bad. And I've looked at jobs. Nothing much but nursing really. Ugh.(;*´Д`)ノ
I find it funny that I identify as aromantic, but I love reading romance novels (not as much as I used to, but I have some old faves), Drarry fic of course, and I love RomComs, and shows like Love is Blind and Indian Matchmaking lolololololol. I guess I just don't feel it for myself. Idk, it's weird, to me anyway.(*´▽`*)
I really hate asking people for help. It really feels like failing to me. I guess I have my parents to thank for that one. But I've been asking people to share my business posts. Mostly on Fb because that's where the old people with money are. I don't love it, but this is the world we live in.(o;TωT)o
As if things weren't bad enough, I also got a jury duty summons in the mail for my birth month. But at least it wasn't for my actual birthday.
Anyway, I'm just trying breathe. And I keep hoping that something will come through. I'm still swimming, even though life is trying to drown me. p(*^-^*)q
BONUS - Mom tested positive for covid! So life keeps giving! (•̀o•́)ง
#Saturday Six#About me#Personal#February 17 2024#Please do not rebloggle#Carey rambles about life and stuff and things and being really effing depressed rn#Like ya I don't want to HAVE to work but I need to because of the shit crapitalist system we live in rn#And it sucks but I'd rather work for myself than any other place#I honestly think I will wither and die if I have to work for a corporation#Like I might be OK if it's another small place like the ski hill I worked at but I can't go back to fast food or some random cashier job tb#Like I seriously think the depression would kill me#And I'm not even joking#My parents don't get it but I might have to tell them...#Ughhhh I really am over fighting them#I wish they would just be cool and supportive but they're silent/boomer Gen and don't know how#Anyway I'm done rambling for now lol#Thank you so much for for reading my nonsensical rambles whenever I post them#I appreciate y'all so much#I hope you have a great day or night wherever you are#Hugsss from mom or just a friend whatever you need right now because I know I need hugsss too٩(๑•◡-๑)۶ⒽⓤⒼ❤💜💙💚💛❤️💗💕💖#Now back to your regularly scheduled scrolling#Whooowhoooo now I might have covid again!!!! Happy happy joy joy
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#scrolling through tumblr first thing in the morning and seeing nothing but news/activism is uhhhh kind of exhausting rn#like obviously i'm glad people are spreading awareness and i agree with most of these stances#but jfc how does this not make everyone else tired and depressed???#like i'm scrolling through tumblr and it's like. scotus protected someone's right to hypothetically discriminate against gay people#stabbing in a gender studies class. tourists decimating the economy of barcelona. presidential candidate advocating trans genocide#and that's not even counting the super long posts i just didn't have the mental energy to read. or the joke-y ones#(like ''every time you reblog this capybara a terf/antisemite dies''. well obviously it's not true bc it's not the fucking death note.#and ik wishing death upon bigots is a good way to make sure those bigots aren't following you but also#it just forces me to remember there are bigots who would probably want me dead if reblogging posts could kill trans people)#idk this isn't me telling people to stop posting politics. bc honestly i admire people who have the energy to spread awareness#and i don't want to just like. blacklist anything remotely political and live in a bubble as the world's ending#but idk i just wish my scrolling didn't immediately turn into doomscrolling this morning
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
idk how to reconcile my new self with my old self. also i fucking hate waiting. GRAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
#delete later#im getting a taste of my own medicine bc when im overwhelmed depressed etc i don’t even open emails or dms or whatever and then ifeel guilty#and let them build up and run away from them and literally do not reply for years. but ive been waiting for like 5 different but related#replies for 3ish days at this point and im soooooo impatient omg i want to bash my head into the wall.. and afaik no one i messaged has#opened the message despite being active online elsewhere which is EXACTLY what i do so i have no right to complain at all. but still. omggg#i just have a simple question (me and the ps5 voice) reply to my message boy#purrs#also.. ok yeah im gonna be honest about it even if there are consequences lol. idk why im on such a mission to get back all my old#characters but if i don’t i can and will go crazy. i don’t even do that kind of thing anymore and d*viantart is an irreversibly warped#landscape due in part to capitalism and in part to own mistakes and selfish actions. and i truly feel like my tumblr mutuals are the only#ones who understand me and feel safe and cozy on here. but i miss my old internet home. and i really miss my old internet friends and seeing#all the jokes we had and how we were all like interconnected w the same adopt groups and stuff and now we don’t even talk… it makes me so#sad and i feel weird messaging them just for the purpose of asking if they can give me back characters i gave them 4 years ago like a) you j#just don’t do that kind of thing i don’t think but b) it feels so transactional and would make the part of saying hey our friendship was#important to me when i was a teenager and even though we don’t talk anymore i think of you fondly and wish you well. like lollllll. and i#feel cringe even tracking them down / messaging them bc we are all jn our 20s now… embarrassing. but i am so mad at myself for letting those#friendships wither (not that i have the spoons to sustain them these days anyway but still) and for not keeping bettr track of my characters#when i sold them and for giving them up in the first place and for letting my old internet life just fall apart due to neglect bc it puts me#in a bind to try to piece it together again no matter how i try it and i shouldn’t try anyway. but i am so tempted to rn. lol#* itd make saying stuff abt appreciating friendship weird bc there’s a transaction tied in (source: i did this and feel weird and bad)#like the way i want to SCREAM seeing that dA ate all of the journals i made when i was a 14 year old and turned them into glitched polls. th#the way the wayback machine has terrible unreliable records of everything and i can never get some stuff back / track some stuff down. pain#anyways it’s stupid bc i feel cozy and listened to and as connected as i have the energy to be to all of u guys so why am i doing this. but#i miss the dA stuff too and i wish it wasn’t cringe and i wish i could have everything that’s ever been part of me all in one place. lol#also this doesn’t even take into account my poetry community on dA on my other account who i also felt so safe and cozy with and i abandoned#that too and lost touch with basically everyone even though we all knew each others deepest secrets for years.. the heartsickness of it all#anyways mutuals who knew me on deviantart i am clutching both your hands with impassioned urgency and kissing u on the cheeks. that’s all
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
if anyone needs me i will be rewatching trigun 98 and tristamp over and over until my brain explodes
#had a bad time in therapy today sigh#first time i cried in front of the new therapist wooooooooo#and we havent even started talking about the painful stuff yet. how tf am i gonna handle that#(spoiler: im not <3 we dont have to talk abt it if i never bring it up)#also being. slammed with nostalgia (/neg) and i cannot get rid of it and it fucking sucks#got a. bad taste in my mouth. from like. everything rn#anyway. if anyone needs me i will be bolting myself into a shitty tin can and sending myself to the bottom of the sea.#not to see the titanic bc im not dumb and full of hubris. but just like. in general#im down there now. i want to fucking explode#sorry bad joke <3 i wanna kms so bad. i wanna wake up tomorrow and be in a universe that is Not This One#aaughrggghrghr. im angry and j dont know what im angry at . i wanna. fling myself into space#so instead i will watch trigun and if i start posting about max in the next day or so well can you blame me.#i hope someone draws him for artfight. specifically. hes rlly cool#i have his page uploaded already but im sooooo bad at making descriptions#oh fuck i also learned how to fucking tag things on artfight now omg. i didnt know that was a thing.#how did i do three years of this shit and not TAG anything. what the fuck#anyway. wish i was a guy covered in blood rn. maybe i should watch hannibal instead#is it time to bring out ol reliable and watch the stab scene from mizumono on a loop again#and perhaps i will listen to sodikken misery meat and people eater. idk. spice it up a little#girls when they say they want to be held: screenshot of the way hannibal holds wills face before gutting him like a fish#im feeling rlly normal rn if you cant tell
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Going to eat a brown sugar cinnamon pop tart for the first time since my dad died. I’m craving it. It will make me cry. Going to hot box the bathroom while I take a bath and then cry and eat a pop tart in the bath. I’m bringing pocket joe for companionship
#I took a dab and then went oh shit a bath would be fantastic rn. and then I said. wait. I’m hungry. I want a pop tart. I also want to cry in#the bath. this feels like a win win then when my high wears off and I stop feeling my emotions I can smoke the joint and it will fix me#life hack.#also pop tarts make me sad bc my dad ate pop tarts like every fucking morning with his coffee and it was like his thing and he always joked#about pop tarts being programmer food#ughhhhh I want to cry I miss my dad I’m pmsing I just got fired I feel like a total failure my mom likes my brother more than me my dad#understood being the fuck up kid who’s traumatized and struggling like oh my god now that I’ve experienced losing someone that close I want#to go back in time to when he was alive and talk about losing his sister and how hard that was on him I mean he was my age when his older#sister died and it fucked him up and his death fucked me up around the same age I feel like I’m destined to become my father and I hated him#so much growing up but now that I feel like it’s gonna happen no matter what I can’t help but just wish he was here to talk to#my mom is far too good at being a normal person and so is my brother and my dad was the fuck up and he understood how I felt and now I have#no one who was the fuck uo and grew up anyways like ughhhhhhhh I hate everything I wish my dad was alive
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
my love cannot be bought with 72 boxes of mac n cheese. do keep sending them though ♡
#the bin#this is a joke but also its not bc my dad just sent me 72 boxes of mac n cheese#unfortunately he has my number now. i wish i vould juat say i dont wanna talk to him anymore and block him but unfortunately im 17 and#he could just decide i have to move back. so i just gotta be friendly. but hey. free soda and candy and mac#lol. this man foesnt know ive been daydreaming about killing him for the past 9 years. nothing is funnier to me than me talking to him on#the phone and saying love you back to him and then later that day discussing how id go about getying away with his murder#lol this man doesnt know i want him dead. he also doesnt know that im working out how to convince my mom to leave him#maybe ill take advantage of this rn since i cant cut things iff yet anyway and have him send money so i can get new shoes#i mean. thats technically his responsibility anyway since hes my parent and my current ones cut my feet. so is the food thing#he likes to act like he us being generous for doing this but. you are legally responsible for me havibg food fucker
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I wanna hear the TedTalk
#actually I think this is sweet#no idea who that dude is tho#and as a 29 y/o that IS dating and unfortunately also likes men#the tags making fun of swifties for this actually make me irate#like put aside your swiftie hate for 2 seconds#do you NOT hear the bear jokes????#the stories of OLYMPIC ATHLETES killed by their boyfriends and husbands?#the french woman whose husband pimped her out IN HER SLEEP TO THEIR WHOLE TOWN#and think huh maybe dating is really hard rn?#maybe the bar IS LOW for like soooooo many men#chivalry is on its deathbed if not dead#and in some ways it should be like women can do things for ourselves and your partner shouldn't be your entire world#but someone looking out for someone else in THIS dating economy??? yea that's hot#and tedtalk worthy considering how many damn tags i just wrote#the bar IS IN HELL so finding something that isn't just basic decency and actually GOOD?!?!?!#now i wanna fight#wishing well
10K notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#ughhhh i started writing a quick bro / dave for todays date but im def not gonna finish in 45 minutes nooooo#its my ki.nk and i wanted to savour what i was writing by dragging it out hffffffff#wish i thought to start it before last night ughhhhh#but ughhhhhhhh dudeeeee its hapeninggggggggggg#god im so fucking thorsty for it#no one writes it the way i want it#and now ive gone and made it silly by trying to do it for today#but i cant just take those parts out bc they're so... baked... into the plotline#hfffffffff why didnt i just make this its own thing ughhhhhh (bc dave would never wanna do that sober thats why)#hffffffffffff screams#writing sm. ut is so time consuming for me#(tbh writing is on its own lol)#but to write. my fave thing. for the first time. its a lot of pressure for a fic that was supposed to be a quick joke#bro ended up being fucking smitten as hell too bc thats how i feel abt this ki. nk lmao#i dont think im even gonna get hi tonight lmao its okay a holiday doesnt mean shit when its something i do on the reg#im so tired hhhhh im just wasting more time typing out more tags bc im too tired to write fic words lol ugh#delete later / /#maybe i will so i can just go the fuck to sleep rn and write more when im more awake. date be damned. im not finishing in 30 mins lol#and even if i did finish in 30 mins i sure as hell aint proofreading and posting within 30 mins#ok yeah gonna get ready for bed and set the writing down for when im not gonna write something rushed ill regret and have to undo later
1 note
·
View note