#i WISH i was joking but that's how things are rn | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

muzzlemouths · 10 months ago

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Muzz!!! Hello I hope you're doing well waa!

I hope you're sleeping also!! squints my eyes at you (affectionate)

KIBS!!!! HELLO KIBBS HI. I'm doing alright thank you for asking!! I hope YOU are doing FANTASTIC!!!!!! don't look at my sleep schedule though. it's fine I promise it's FINE but don't. look at it ok

#hi Kibs not to sound dramatic or anything but um. this ask made me sniffle. a little #i WISH i was joking but that's how things are rn #i have been feeling a little Not Great about my lack of presence over here on this webbed site #because I miss you I miss my friends #and I don't participate in the many many discord group chats i'm in because I am shy and bad at initiating conversation #and i don't participate in magmas because i'm too self conscious for magmas #but that just leaves me in a corner ALONE like a LOSER while everyone else is partying. like that one meme #which is something i could totally fix myself in under a day if i just got myself out there but that has yet to happen #ALL OF THIS TO SAY #I was touched by you reaching out and I'm going to be hugging this ask to my chest for the next few hours. days even #THANK YOU ILU I LOVE MY FRIENDS. I HOPE YOUR DAY/NIGHT IS WONDERFUL AND YOU GET LOTS OF SLEEP

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rika-mortis · 5 months ago

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Headcanon: Deep down they both want to be their fairy godparent/godkid again after losing them, but don't believe they deserve each other and feel like they aren't worthy to be their companion anymore

They both need counseling and therapy as a whole package

#fairly oddparents #fairly oddparents a new wish #peri #peri fairywinkle cosma #dev dimmadome #fop a new wish #peri fairly oddparents #a new wish #periwinkle #the fairly oddparents #dev #my art #fanart #I like how both Peri and Dev is the type who prefers not directly express their feelings because they want to be seen as cool/independent #and be loved by the people that they care of #in other words #a tsundere//hit #jokes aside I like to think another reason why Dev cried during that scene is because-#he realized he's doing the same thing that his dad has done to him but on Peri #and yet Peri still cares for him despite his treatment towards him #like how Dev still loves his dad despite being a terrible father #and just..want to do everything right by him to earn his dad affection #man #Also ngl I have a hunch that Dev might still remember since Hazel's ''no rule'' wish was pretty vague #so maybe he counts in that wish?#plus he was wearing sunglasses before the memory wipe which maybe that won't affect him as well?#you can see I'm coping rn #I do hope this is only temporary and we will see them being back together in season 2 tho #giving them both some time to reflect and growth #because Peri clearly needs more experience in his job and Dev needs his character development for season 2

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randomminty · 1 year ago

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I heard its her birthday and had a sudden urge to draw kirararararararrara

#I LOVE YOU GO PRINCESS PRECURE GRRR ARRHHEGHAHRKJHR #im behind on hirogaru sky rn. im sorry.#i missed most of delicious precure too </3333 #rosemary and spicy im so sorry. ill come back to them eventually #rosemarys look slike kanata if he was better. hes so cool #cant he barbecue or smth. fuck yeah.#precure #pretty cure #go princess precure #cure twinkle #amanogawa kirara #i wrote amonogawa at first im sorry. theres an easy joke here. sorry.#can i talk abt how much i love go princess and heartcatchs villains. i love them.#i like how shut gets more pathetic and silly as the show goes on. and i looooove twilight/scarlet/towa love love love you #shes so cool and lame at the same time. girl that acts really cool but her lameness and silliness shines theough in everything she does #opposite of yuri/moonlight who looks lame and silly but is effortlessly cool all the time i adore her #imagine finding out ur nerd senior is the coolest superhero in the world. ehat the hell #anyway. love shut and towa i hate when theyre in the same frame. that was really weird. wish that wasnt a thing #kanata and haruka too i hate that old precures like this #you know what precure series ISNT like this……… heartcatch. watch heartcatch.#thats a lot of ramble tags ok. im done. gootbye #art tag #i forgor…..

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kavehater · 9 months ago

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I support girls but NAH THIS IS REACHING “if you look carefully LIKE REALLY CAREFULLY 🤓☝️”

#the same people who would shriek like the witch of the north melting her skin off if I tell you haikaveh / kavetham isn’t implied because #if you actually look into our culture they’re being normal and not everyone having rivalry and caring about each other means they’re 💅#in fact Arabs are some of the worlds most hospitable people alhaitham letting kaveh live with him #is the most Arab thing I’ve ever seen #heck if kaveh was a stranger it wouldn’t be unusual for an Arab to let him in their house ☠️#goddamn #“if you look in the internet you can see how they’re implied!🤓☝️”#maybe if you had any respect for my culture or any desire to be educated when I’m handing this to you for free you wouldn’t be your mistake #your mums greatest mistake 🤗🤗🤗*#dora daily #if only ppl dedicated this level of detail to actual culture compared to pulling out their microscope at level 100x magnification lens to #observe robins spots under her eyes the world would be a better place 🙀#let me tell you btw this whole I hate you meh meh meh ( I’m so in love with you ) trope is the most whitest booktok millennial plant growing #basement dweller nonesense I have ever heard in my life don’t do that to my pookies ☹️#( the pookies in fact were 11 and 9 years older than her respectively )#guys my dad is the straightest man alive ( oh the trauma lowkey wish he wasn’t ) and he legit was putting his hand on his best friends lap #LMAOOO even I as a very logical person was like bro this is so zesty rn I am SO uncomfortable #anyways live laugh love boothill x Baizhu they’re the most canon things I’ve ever seen in my life #<- this is a joke btw it’s an ironic ship I saw on tiktok ☠️

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originalgenshinscenarios · 3 days ago

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Doing Natlan quest right now and honestly I really hoped these characters would be better

and the fact that nobody requests them makes me feel like I'm not the only one who thinks that xD (for example, the second fontaine was out I had requests with Fontaine characters- okay maybe not exactly but it's been a LOOONG while and I'm yet to see someone from natlan in my inbox)

rant in tags, not fully spoiler free

#im on the newest part rn and so far it feels like everyone is p much the same #citlali and kinich only stand out to me #rest is just 'for natlan!' and that's it.#I mean #I'm not saying they're REALLY like this and there is nothing else about them #but it's just that they don't give me anything cool to pay attention to #it's like their characters don't exist without their nation #and for an archon it's an okay thing #but for others? makes it kinda bland to read #OH and also when I said that citlali stands out the most?#I mean it in a bad way #REALLY bad way #I'm so disappointed in the direction they went with in her dialogue #and her drinking problem is handled VERY poorly and I hate how it's treated like a joke #I just wanted another cool old woman she WISHES she was Faruzan #I did also kinda delulu myself and made up my own citlali and that's why i pulled for her btw

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truethes · 4 months ago

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did you know if you write your rng improves by 10% per draft.

#❛ ♡ › jupiter : 𝐨𝐨𝐜.#im joking btw just magically got the skyward harp on the standard for tartaglia and my day is maaaade.#my characters are coming tg a bit more as well.#i also finally breached ar50 (which ive been on for like 6 months iirc???)#and am now 57!#and won xia.ngli ya.o in wuw.a today <3 #a productive weekend all in all.#im going through a phase rn where there is. a lot i want to do but i havent organised myself properly to do it all.#so im going to try one super long draft and then plan out how i wish to make this week run.#sorry to anyone who is waiting for things. my writing mojo is back enough to let me know i can def do a lot of things in the next couple of #weeks! so just you wait <3

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lieutenantselnia · 5 months ago

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Internet archive I love you❤️❤️❤️

#my 14 year old self is crying tears of joy rn #I was able to recover videos of a yt channel that I used to follow as a teen but was closed by the owner from one day to the other #for *years* I thought I'd never see them again (aside very few scattered reuploads)#granted my interests changed and I was occupied with other things #but every once in a while I was wishing I could just watch at least my nr 1 favourite video of them just one more time #but NOW I found out that someone salvaged basically the entire channel and just - put the videos up for downloading?!#it feels so unreal because after all this time I can just watch them again? as often as I want?! and they're mine to keep forever?!! ahhhh #I'm getting unreasonably emotional over this but that channel genuinely meant a lot to me at the time #I still remember that I was on the school bus home when I discovered it was gone #and I swear if I hadn't been in a public setting I'd legit have cried over it. it certainly ruined an otherwise really nice day for me #granted my 14y/o self probably had a bit of a dumb sense of humour (harmless. but dumb. what do you expect from a 14y/o?)#(hence I'm also hesitant to mention the channel name bc I'm not sure if I'm ready to potentially embarrass myself)#but I still feel an odd fondness looking back because I know how much those videos meant to her <3 #especially my one favourite video which 1. was the sole reason I discovered one of my favourite tv shows ever #and 2. was probably the spark that really ignited my initial interest in animation and digital arts #bc for the first time I consciously realised that you can actually do cool and fun stuff even as just one single person #and that you don't need an entire animation team to just - express yourself creatively and bring your ideas to life #like I'm not even joking when I say if it wasn't for that channel I might have ended up in an entirely different education/career path #anyway I'm happy. but I'll stop now. oh gods I'm abusing the tags again instead of just writing all that *into* the actual post #internet archive #personal #selnia talks

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squiddieblogs · 9 months ago

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🐀

#vent in the tags o7 #I got on Twitter a too much and see the coachella 2024 on the recommended feed #it makes me sad because I’m not a music guy so I wouldn’t have cared much #but mcyt’s quirked up white boy was meant to be there and #it’s really like why are people terrible?#I wish he did not abuse women #but I guess in a sad selfish way #idk how to word it’s just. man #the dsmp adjacent scene is so fucked up rn #there isn’t a lot of joy left in the fandom space I lurked in #so I guess I miss that #that maybe if mr gold wasnt awful things would be normal #maybe Wilbur soot underpaid those qsmp employees actually #(for legal reasons that is a joke)

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dewitty1 · 11 months ago

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Saturday Six (Stuff)

Cats woke me up too dang early. It was mostly Reggie, of course, so I chucked him out (don't @ me about it - he's and indoor/outdoor Boi) because that's what he wanted anyway. I didn't realize it was that cold until later, when I actually got up, thanks to Leeloo. So, I went out and called Reggie several times, with no luck. He decided to wait to come back after three + hours of being outside (not too unusual, but random enough) and I give him the Molly Weasley "Where *HAVE* you been?!" he just looks at me and gives a "maow" like "Whassup mom? Wassall the hubbub?" Crazy damn cat. Gotta love em. (^・ω・^ )

I'm really getting upset about the business situation. Idk what to do. It's bad, bad. And I've looked at jobs. Nothing much but nursing really. Ugh.(;*´Д`)ﾉ

I find it funny that I identify as aromantic, but I love reading romance novels (not as much as I used to, but I have some old faves), Drarry fic of course, and I love RomComs, and shows like Love is Blind and Indian Matchmaking lolololololol. I guess I just don't feel it for myself. Idk, it's weird, to me anyway.（*´▽｀*）

I really hate asking people for help. It really feels like failing to me. I guess I have my parents to thank for that one. But I've been asking people to share my business posts. Mostly on Fb because that's where the old people with money are. I don't love it, but this is the world we live in.(o;TωT)o

As if things weren't bad enough, I also got a jury duty summons in the mail for my birth month. But at least it wasn't for my actual birthday.

Anyway, I'm just trying breathe. And I keep hoping that something will come through. I'm still swimming, even though life is trying to drown me. p(*＾-＾*)q

BONUS - Mom tested positive for covid! So life keeps giving! (•̀o•́)ง

#Saturday Six #About me #Personal #February 17 2024 #Please do not rebloggle #Carey rambles about life and stuff and things and being really effing depressed rn #Like ya I don't want to HAVE to work but I need to because of the shit crapitalist system we live in rn #And it sucks but I'd rather work for myself than any other place #I honestly think I will wither and die if I have to work for a corporation #Like I might be OK if it's another small place like the ski hill I worked at but I can't go back to fast food or some random cashier job tb #Like I seriously think the depression would kill me #And I'm not even joking #My parents don't get it but I might have to tell them...#Ughhhh I really am over fighting them #I wish they would just be cool and supportive but they're silent/boomer Gen and don't know how #Anyway I'm done rambling for now lol #Thank you so much for for reading my nonsensical rambles whenever I post them #I appreciate y'all so much #I hope you have a great day or night wherever you are #Hugsss from mom or just a friend whatever you need right now because I know I need hugsss too٩(๑•◡-๑)۶ⒽⓤⒼ❤💜💙💚💛❤️💗💕💖#Now back to your regularly scheduled scrolling #Whooowhoooo now I might have covid again!!!! Happy happy joy joy

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pepprs · 2 years ago

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idk how to reconcile my new self with my old self. also i fucking hate waiting. GRAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

#delete later #im getting a taste of my own medicine bc when im overwhelmed depressed etc i don’t even open emails or dms or whatever and then ifeel guilty #and let them build up and run away from them and literally do not reply for years. but ive been waiting for like 5 different but related #replies for 3ish days at this point and im soooooo impatient omg i want to bash my head into the wall.. and afaik no one i messaged has #opened the message despite being active online elsewhere which is EXACTLY what i do so i have no right to complain at all. but still. omggg #i just have a simple question (me and the ps5 voice) reply to my message boy #purrs #also.. ok yeah im gonna be honest about it even if there are consequences lol. idk why im on such a mission to get back all my old #characters but if i don’t i can and will go crazy. i don’t even do that kind of thing anymore and d*viantart is an irreversibly warped #landscape due in part to capitalism and in part to own mistakes and selfish actions. and i truly feel like my tumblr mutuals are the only #ones who understand me and feel safe and cozy on here. but i miss my old internet home. and i really miss my old internet friends and seeing #all the jokes we had and how we were all like interconnected w the same adopt groups and stuff and now we don’t even talk… it makes me so #sad and i feel weird messaging them just for the purpose of asking if they can give me back characters i gave them 4 years ago like a) you j #just don’t do that kind of thing i don’t think but b) it feels so transactional and would make the part of saying hey our friendship was #important to me when i was a teenager and even though we don’t talk anymore i think of you fondly and wish you well. like lollllll. and i #feel cringe even tracking them down / messaging them bc we are all jn our 20s now… embarrassing. but i am so mad at myself for letting those #friendships wither (not that i have the spoons to sustain them these days anyway but still) and for not keeping bettr track of my characters #when i sold them and for giving them up in the first place and for letting my old internet life just fall apart due to neglect bc it puts me #in a bind to try to piece it together again no matter how i try it and i shouldn’t try anyway. but i am so tempted to rn. lol #* itd make saying stuff abt appreciating friendship weird bc there’s a transaction tied in (source: i did this and feel weird and bad)#like the way i want to SCREAM seeing that dA ate all of the journals i made when i was a 14 year old and turned them into glitched polls. th #the way the wayback machine has terrible unreliable records of everything and i can never get some stuff back / track some stuff down. pain #anyways it’s stupid bc i feel cozy and listened to and as connected as i have the energy to be to all of u guys so why am i doing this. but #i miss the dA stuff too and i wish it wasn’t cringe and i wish i could have everything that’s ever been part of me all in one place. lol #also this doesn’t even take into account my poetry community on dA on my other account who i also felt so safe and cozy with and i abandoned #that too and lost touch with basically everyone even though we all knew each others deepest secrets for years.. the heartsickness of it all #anyways mutuals who knew me on deviantart i am clutching both your hands with impassioned urgency and kissing u on the cheeks. that’s all

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stuck-in-the-ghost-zone · 2 years ago

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if anyone needs me i will be rewatching trigun 98 and tristamp over and over until my brain explodes

#had a bad time in therapy today sigh #first time i cried in front of the new therapist wooooooooo #and we havent even started talking about the painful stuff yet. how tf am i gonna handle that #(spoiler: im not <3 we dont have to talk abt it if i never bring it up)#also being. slammed with nostalgia (/neg) and i cannot get rid of it and it fucking sucks #got a. bad taste in my mouth. from like. everything rn #anyway. if anyone needs me i will be bolting myself into a shitty tin can and sending myself to the bottom of the sea.#not to see the titanic bc im not dumb and full of hubris. but just like. in general #im down there now. i want to fucking explode #sorry bad joke <3 i wanna kms so bad. i wanna wake up tomorrow and be in a universe that is Not This One #aaughrggghrghr. im angry and j dont know what im angry at . i wanna. fling myself into space #so instead i will watch trigun and if i start posting about max in the next day or so well can you blame me.#i hope someone draws him for artfight. specifically. hes rlly cool #i have his page uploaded already but im sooooo bad at making descriptions #oh fuck i also learned how to fucking tag things on artfight now omg. i didnt know that was a thing.#how did i do three years of this shit and not TAG anything. what the fuck #anyway. wish i was a guy covered in blood rn. maybe i should watch hannibal instead #is it time to bring out ol reliable and watch the stab scene from mizumono on a loop again #and perhaps i will listen to sodikken misery meat and people eater. idk. spice it up a little #girls when they say they want to be held: screenshot of the way hannibal holds wills face before gutting him like a fish #im feeling rlly normal rn if you cant tell

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milo-is-rambling · 1 year ago

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Going to eat a brown sugar cinnamon pop tart for the first time since my dad died. I’m craving it. It will make me cry. Going to hot box the bathroom while I take a bath and then cry and eat a pop tart in the bath. I’m bringing pocket joe for companionship

#I took a dab and then went oh shit a bath would be fantastic rn. and then I said. wait. I’m hungry. I want a pop tart. I also want to cry in #the bath. this feels like a win win then when my high wears off and I stop feeling my emotions I can smoke the joint and it will fix me #life hack.#also pop tarts make me sad bc my dad ate pop tarts like every fucking morning with his coffee and it was like his thing and he always joked #about pop tarts being programmer food #ughhhhh I want to cry I miss my dad I’m pmsing I just got fired I feel like a total failure my mom likes my brother more than me my dad #understood being the fuck up kid who’s traumatized and struggling like oh my god now that I’ve experienced losing someone that close I want #to go back in time to when he was alive and talk about losing his sister and how hard that was on him I mean he was my age when his older #sister died and it fucked him up and his death fucked me up around the same age I feel like I’m destined to become my father and I hated him #so much growing up but now that I feel like it’s gonna happen no matter what I can’t help but just wish he was here to talk to #my mom is far too good at being a normal person and so is my brother and my dad was the fuck up and he understood how I felt and now I have #no one who was the fuck uo and grew up anyways like ughhhhhhhh I hate everything I wish my dad was alive

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skinnyhyena · 4 months ago

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I wanna hear the TedTalk