#i Need Higuchi content or I will die

[mayday505]

Hi anyone in bsd fandom on this hellsite pls give me higuchi centric fics xxx cool thanks xxx

[sickficideas]

gotta hear me out || sick Akutagawa w/ caretaker Atsushi - chapter 1 of 3

ao3! 5.5k/??? - please refer to the tags in the link for content + warnings! sicktember 2024, day 30: past prompt (2022, day 27: sleepless night)

Atsushi is on edge.

Breaking into anyone’s apartment is a nerve-wracking activity, and especially when Atsushi is doing so in an apartment that belongs to the Port Mafia’s so-called Hell Hound, without his knowledge. He wonders why Dazai couldn't have just done this himself, if it's really just a wellness check, like he says.

Initially, he was tempted to take the easy way out. He still has the phone number of the blonde woman he works with - Higuchi - and calling her to ask if he's still alive probably would have been the easiest way to go about this, but he's not sure involving other people is a good idea, especially if Dazai really is concerned about his well-being. All Atsushi has heard about the situation is that Dazai hasn’t heard from him in over a week, and there's a storm on the horizon too from a hurricane that's battering the shore of a nearby city. He’s just asked Atsushi to make sure he isn’t dead in his apartment before the storm comes in.

Miraculously, he's made it inside without tripping off any sort of alarm, at least not to his knowledge. The lock was easy enough to pick.

Now the hard part. Finding Akutagawa in the apartment without getting killed first.

Akutagawa's apartment is fairly large. It looks about as fancy and regal as he would expect of him, complete with taller-than-average ceilings and bookshelves filled with leather-back and gold foil editions making it look way more expensive than necessary. The decorations outside of the book shelving are minimal, like he hasn't been living here long at all.

The view from the tall, floor-to-ceiling windows is nice, he imagines, if the near-blackout curtains weren’t covering the windows. It’s a fairly high penthouse overlooking the city of Yokohama. He’s not sure why Akutagawa would want it covered. This is the kind of view he imagines tourists would pay money to see.

He wanders over to the window, out of curiosity. Even if Akutagawa realizes he’s here before Atsushi finds him, he won’t kill him. He promised not to.

Atsushi pulled back the curtain far enough to let some light in. He’s forgotten it’s storming outside, and the sky is a splotchy gray and black, spilling rain out onto the port city for the last few hours. His hair is still a little damp from his walk over here as proof. Still, it’s better than sitting in near darkness. He pulls the blinds open all the way, illuminating the entire living room, and revealing a figure standing in the doorway of a room just past the couch.

Akutagawa.

Akutagawa stands there, a cardigan wrapped defensively around himself, several long shards of fabric floating over his shoulders. Atsushi figured he wouldn’t be happy to see him no matter which way he approached this, but at least this way, he wouldn’t have been able to barricade himself in.

He looks absolutely terrible, though. His hair is completely unkempt, stuck up in all sorts of directions like he just woke up, and his skin is awfully pale. He’s certainly sick, Atsushi concludes, but not sick enough to not threaten Atsushi, it seems.

Akutagawa doesn’t need to approach him, the fabric of his cardigan pinning Atsushi’s back against the window, and not allowing him to come any further.

“I have no reservations against throwing you out of that window,” Akutagawa mumbles, his voice hoarse like he hasn’t used it in days, or it’s been damaged from several hours of coughing. Either way, it hurts Atsushi to listen to. His eyes squint, trying to adjust to the light.

“I’d definitely die if I fell from this height,” Atsushi reminds him, his shoulders tensing up at the roaring thunder overhead.

“You’ll find a way to survive. You roach,” he hisses, turning his head and coughing into his hands a few times, and the fabric holding Atsushi against the wall even loosens. Painful, Atsushi thinks, worse than usual. He’s not well, that’s for sure.

“That doesn’t mean you’re allowed to try to kill me, Akutagawa,” Atsushi reminds him, but Akutagawa knows that. He said himself that he keeps his promises, and truly has no intention of killing him. That being said, he’s certainly not thrilled to see Atsushi uninvited in his apartment.

“What do you want?” Akutagawa growls at him, the fabric now at his neck, evidently not happy with the condescending tone he’s being spoken to with.

“Dazai told me to check on you,” Atsushi stammers, his tiger paws up at the side of his head, eyes crossing and making his head hurt as they stare down the shards of fabric aimed at his neck.

“Dazai…” Akutagawa mumbles, pressing a hand to his forehead. “Dazai told you…”

The fabric shards at Atsushi’s neck starts to fall as the tension leaves Akutagawa’s shoulders. For a second, maybe he accepts the reason, but Atsushi thinks it's because he's about to pass out. And he's right. Akutagawa doesn't even make it a few seconds before his eyes roll back, and he loses control of all of the muscles in his body - falling forward face first.

The thunder rumbles overhead once again, but this time, Atsushi ignores it in favor of rushing over to the unconscious body on the living room carpet.

Atsushi kneels beside Akutagawa, who twitches in some unconscious attempt to wake himself up. Atsushi is tempted to just pick him up and put him on the couch here, but just because Akutagawa made a vow not to kill him, doesn’t mean he won’t hurt him. Maybe he just slow down here first.

Should he contact Dazai? Akutagawa clearly isn’t in shape enough to look after himself, and really, Atsushi was only told to make sure he was alive. Maybe he can contact someone Akutagawa works with to come look after him, but does he trust anyone to do something like that?

No, he doesn’t. He doesn’t trust anyone, so really, Atsushi taking care of this situation is no different than anyone else doing so.

Atsushi lays a hand on Akuatagwa’s upper arm, but he tenses up at the touch. He’s not unconscious anymore, at least.

“Leave,” Akutagawa croaks. That sudden burst of energy to attempt to kill Atsushi must have been all that he had left in him, because he makes no other attempts even shoo Atsushi away from him. His voice really sounds awful, and he coughs a few times into the carpet, not having the breath force them back. Atsushi takes that moment of weakness to scoop him off of the floor and to the couch, at the very least, which he doesn;t bother fighting against.

“You look like shit, Akutagawa,” Atsushi tells him, genuinely concerned when he gets a better look at him. The circles under his eyes are too dark to suggest he’s slept at all in the past several days, and Atsushi is even concerned that he’s lost weight with how his cheekbones jut out even more than usual. “How long have you been sick for?”

“Don’t talk to me,” Akutagawa groans, bringing up his arm to cover his face, painfully aware of how Atsushi is studying it.

“Don't you live with your sister? Where is she?” Atsushi asks. He doesn’t see any sign of her having been around, but he’s hoping he’s wrong.

“I don't know,” he barely manages, “haven't heard from her.”

“What do you mean?” Atsushi asks.

“She’s working,” Akutagawa murmurs as Atsushi tries to sneak a hand onto his forehead to get a general read of his temperature. Not awful, but definitely a fever, he realizes. He wonders how long he’s been like this.

Atsushi’s not aware enough of the inner workings of the mafia to know if that means they should be concerned about his sister or not, but Akutagawa doesn’t seem too concerned - maybe it’s normal, then. He can’t imagine he would go out of his way to concern his sister about his well-being either, though.

Atsushi sits back on the coffee table, peering out of Akutagawa’s high-rise view for just a moment, deciding on how he should proceed. He thinks he should stay. Clearly, Akutagawa is not capable of caring for himself, whatever it is that’s plaguing him. He wonders if Dazai was hoping for this outcome.

“You need a shower,” Atsushi tells him. Akutagawa is still covering his face. He knows Akutagawa generally doesn’t wash himself as often as he should, and he can tell just by his hair that he hasn’t showered in a while - he’s sure it would help him feel better regardless.

“No,” Akutagawa huffs.

“Don't no me,” Atsushi groans. “How long have you been here for, by yourself? Do I even wanna know?”

“I’d imagine not,” Akutagawa grumbles. “What’s the date?”

“The twenty-fifth,” Atsushi tells him.

Akutagawa groans, and it’s answer enough that Atsushi probably does not want to know how long he’s been alone for. That’s fine, as long as he’s compliant enough to let someone else look after him.

Atsushi realizes he’s already made that decision for himself, then.

Akutagawa tries to sit himself up, but the effort is too much pressure on his lungs, it seems. He’s propped up on an elbow and coughing so hard into his hand he nearly gags. Atsushi is hesitant to reach out a hand on his back to give him some comfort, he’s never sure how Akutagawa will react to that sort of thing, but he doesn’t fight it. Atsushi tries to be careful, gentle, not cross too many lines.

There’s no blood, though, when he lowers his hand. That’s a good sign, maybe it’s not too serious, then.

Akutagawa manages to pull himself up and off the couch, but clearly without enough strength to stand on his own without a hand supporting him on the end of the couch. He’s hesitant to walk forward.  Atsushi stands and walks beside him, taking his arm and surprised to see no bite back from him. He leads him back to his bedroom, where evidently, he’s been spending the past several days.

“Why are you here?” Akutagawa murmurs quietly, whisking his arm away once he makes it to the bed. The curtains in his bedroom are closed too, lights off, dark aside from the light spilling in through the open door. There’s pillows on the floor and sheets strewn across the bed. There’s a trash bin over near the left side of the bed. Atsushi’s sure that’s a sign he’s been sick to his stomach, too.

“I told you already,” Atsushi murmurs. Akutagawa sits on the edge of the bed, arms crossed over his chest.

“You've confirmed I haven't bit the dust, so leave,” he mumbles, averting his eyes from Atsushi. “Tell Dazai to mind his own business.”

“You’re sick,” Atsushi reminds him.

“I’m always sick,” Akutagawa huffs.

“Okay, but not like this. You have a fever,” Atsushi reminds him, planting his hands on his hips. “And you just passed out a minute ago. You can’t walk by yourself.”

“And why does that matter to you? It should -” he coughs into his hand, scooting further back on the bed and crossing his legs, “it should make no difference to you. I’m not your friend. I’ve been ill before and I don’t need anyone’s help.”

“I’m not gonna let you suffer by yourself, though,” Atsushi tells him. He couldn’t really give him a further explanation why, he just thinks that he should take this opportunity now to look after him for a little bit if he can. He’s sure no one else would be able to sneak into his apartment and leave alive, other than his sister.

Akutagawa’s eyes trace the folds in the sheets underneath him, studying anything but the figure in front of them, probably hoping that if he doesn’t look, Atsushi will go away. Unfortunately for him, he’s just as stubborn - if not worse.

“Have you taken anything? Medicine? Water?” Atsushi asks, tilting his head to the side, trying to force eye contact.

“Leave me alone, Weretiger,” Akutagawa groans, throwing himself onto the bed and pulling the sheets over his thin form as he curls on his side, but Atsushi won’t take that for an answer. He walks over to the side of the bed, sits on it, and pulls the sheet up to look at Akutagawa’s face.

He glares up at him, trying to pull the sheet back over his face, but he’s too weak right now to win the fight. He’s almost pouting.

“Answer me,” Atsushi tells him.

“I can’t - I can’t keep anything down,” Akutagawa admits in a low grumble, He sounds like a child. Atsushi sighs.

“Since how long?” Atsushi asks him.

“I don’t know. I haven’t been keeping track,” Akutagawa huffs, and Atsushi lets go of the sheet, letting it fall back over his face. That confirms that he’s been throwing up then, which adds a whole new angle to his problems. He can’t take any medicine, drink water or eat - he probably needs to see a doctor, but Atsushi has to take this one thing at a time.

Akutagawa coughs under the sheets, curling in on himself, and Atsushi watches his frame shiver underneath. His eyes catch a few spots of blood on the comforter and the sheets underneath, even parts of the pillows - some larger, some smaller, but all in the same relative shape. It looks like a print, almost - some of it is older and some of it fresher, like it’s from this morning - it’s from an injury.

Atsushi realizes there’s many more problems here than he was expecting. He’s just going to have to tackle each thing one by one. Taking Akutagawa to a legally practicing doctor or hospital is simply not an option - not that he would even allow for that, anyway.

“I’m gonna start a shower for you. I’ll be back in a minute,” Atsushi tells him. That’s a good place to start. He can check him for injuries without physically prying the information out of him. Keeping the water lukewarm might help lower his fever too, and he’s sure feeling clean will help him feel better. He looks like he hasn’t showered in weeks.

“Not a shower,” Akutagawa grumbles from under the sheets.

“Okay, a bath then,” Atsushi insists as he wanders into Akutagawa’s bathroom. It won’t get him as clean as a shower would, but it’s better than nothing.

Another culture shock he experiences as he enters Akutagawa’s master bathroom - it’s larger than Atsushi’s entire bedroom, he’s almost certain of it. Long, marble counters and more sinks  than he needs, a walk-in shower and a separate bathtub. He was almost expecting a chandelier on the ceiling when he looked up. The ceiling is certainly tall enough for one.

He starts running the water after deciding on a temperature, not too warm but not cold enough to make him feel worse, surprised at how quickly he gets warm water from the faucet. There’s little jets in there too, like some kind of jacuzzi - Atsushi decides to get those running at a low setting too. He adds some body soap at the end of the tub to simulate a bubble bath - he’s sure Akutagawa isn’t that kind of guy, but if it were his own bath, he’d want that.

He finds towels in one of the cabinets - thick, fluffy, more expensive than Atsushi wants to know, probably, and sets them on the side of the tub.

Atsushi wanders back into Akutagawa’s bedroom, where the latter is sitting at the end of his bed, facing Atsushi, to his surprise. He thought he was going to have to drag him out with his teeth.

“The bath is ready,” Atsushi tells him, standing in the doorway. Akutagawa squints at the light coming in from the bathroom. He realizes he’s going to have to help Akutagawa through this, he likely doesn’t have the energy to bathe himself at all - Atsushi is fine with that, but he’s not sure Akutagawa is.

“I don’t want your help,” Akutagawa mumbles to himself.

“You passed out earlier, when you tried to throw me out your window,” Atsushi reminds him. He’s not sure he’ll make the walk over, let alone wash his own hair.

“I did not attempt such a thing. Separate actions from threats,” he huffs, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Yeah, yeah,” Atsushi huffs, “c’mon.”

Akutagawa looks at him for a second, and then dips his head away in shame.

Atsushi's heart sinks. Of course he’s not thrilled about this. Taking off his clothes would leave him completely defenseless, and even though Atsushi truly means no harm in this moment, he can’t know Akutagawa’s inner thoughts. He’s surprised to see him so defeated. He thinks it’s telling of how he’s feeling if he’s not putting up much of a fight.

“Here. I have an idea. We can do them separately,” Atsushi suggests.

Akutagawa's head lifts.

“Undress, but, you can keep something on your head, like…a towel or a hair cap or something so you can still use your ability if you need to. And then, we can wash your hair after you're done with the bath,” Atsushi suggests enthusiastically. He thinks it's a good idea, but Akutagawa makes a face at him, like he thinks it's ridiculous. “That…that’d work, right?”

“Technically…yes,” Akutagawa mumbles, “only you would come up with something like that.”

“Well, you got a better idea?” Atsushi huffs, his cheeks heating up, a little embarrassed.

“Help me into the bathroom and let me undress privately,” Akutagawa says, more of a demand, really, but Atsushi is in no position to refuse him. It’s either this or nothing.

Atsushi frowns, though, because this will make it a lot harder to see if he’s injured somewhere. “You know I don’t care if I see - “

“Please.”

Atsushi shrinks a little. It’s a desperate plea. Atsushi can’t place the look in his eyes.

“Okay, fine,” Atsushi tells him, “but you have to show me where you’re injured. I see the blood on your sheets.”

“You’ll see the wound,” Akutagawa insists, standing off the bed with Atsushi’s support as he takes his arm, “it’s on my shoulder.”

Atsushi makes sure he’s a little more careful taking his arm then, walking him into the bathroom. Atsushi realizes now just how dizzy he is, how weak his legs are. He can’t easily walk without help. He suspects that he used his ability to keep himself stable when he first arrived here, but he’s not doing that now, Atsushi taking that place instead.

Atsushi sits him down at the little step beside the tub and Atsushi reluctantly walks back in the bedroom, closing the door. It takes Akutagawa a little longer than Atsushi would expect to undress. He’s not sure if he’s just slower than he expected, even with how weak he is right now, or maybe he’s just working up the nerve to take his clothes off. Atsushi vaguely remembers his aversion to bathing or taking off his clothes - he’s sure there’s good reason for him to do that, but he’s not sure he’s in any position to ask why.

“Ready yet?” Atsushi asks, just barely opening the door.

“Yes,” he answers quietly, far enough to sound like he’s already in the tub.

His hair is covered in a towel, turned away when Atsushi walks in, facing the frosted windows. Atsushi approaches, sitting on the step beside the tub, seeing the wound on his shoulder right away.

It’s open, but it’s been there for several days, over a week. It starts just over his collarbone and ends at his shoulder blade - a good, clean cut, though he’s not sure what could have caused this.

Atsushi’s hand gently lands beside it, moving his skin to the side to get a feeling of how deep it is, and it’s deeper than it looks.

His skin is so hot, he realizes too. Atsushi should really get a reading on his temperature, but it can’t be as high as it feels it is, because he’s still coherent. Then again, Atsushi has seen him with high fevers before, and been relatively impressed with how sound he was in those moments.

Right now, though, the injury on his shoulder is what needs attention first. He’s surprised Akutagawa even managed to get injured on this part of his body - he tends to protect himself pretty well, it’s usually his limbs that end up taking hits he can’t avoid, so it makes him wonder if he was dealing with this illness before he was injured.

“That looks really bad, Akutagawa,” Atsushi mumbles. He’s sure it’s infected, as has been for several days, and it still bleeds every now and then too, the dried blood covering his shoulder. It makes him a little nauseous to look at. “I think I need to clean that before we do anything.”

“Do as you wish,” Akutagawa murmurs with a quiet sigh. He’s given up fighting back, finally, but it’s a little sad to see him so dejected.

“Where do you keep that kind of stuff?” Atsushi asks, hoping he has anything for it at all, but he’s sure that he does.

“There’s disinfectant in the cabinet under the sink,” Akutagawa tells him.

Atsushi fetches it quickly, taking some cotton rounds from the counter to gently dab it with. He’s not sure how much this will help, he never really has to treat injuries like this, but it’s better than nothing.

He’s as careful as he can be, dripping the disinfectant onto the cotton rounds and gently dabbing it on the edges of the wound first. Akutagawa’s still stiff. He can’t see much of him through the bubbles, but can gather that his knees are at his chest, arms wrapped around them defensively. He was hoping he’s relax a little bit, that maybe the jets would help him do that, but he’s too tense. He’s so defensive that he hardly reacts to the disinfectant on his wound, which should surely burn, or sting at the very least.

“Does it hurt?” Atsushi asks, moving in more towards the center, trying to clean off some of the blood and what looks like pus forming in the middle.

“No, it’s fine,” Akutagawa says quietly.

“When was the last time you took any medicine? For your fever, or anything?” Atsushi asks him, finishing up cleaning the wound.

“A few days ago,” Akutagawa answers, not seeming to have an exact answer for him. Getting him to take any medication is probably not going to happen, but Atsushi thinks he would honestly prioritize getting him to eat something or drink some water. He’ll make that his next objective.

Atsushi takes a washcloth and cleans the blood around the wound, discarding that and using another to scrub his arms, which he surprisingly allows. He tenses up quite a bit when Atsushi reaches his hand, holding gently and scrubbing between his fingers. He’s got nice hands, he thinks, his cheeks reddening at the sudden random thought.

“You can take the towel off,” Akutagawa murmurs feverishly. 

“You…you sure?” Atsushi asks. He’s surprised to hear that from him unprompted.

Akutagawa just nods his head once.

Atsushi unwraps the towel, gently tossing it to the side.

He hands Akutagawa a washcloth, urging him to scrub himself where he can while Atsushi works on washing his hair, which could certainly use some work. It’s greasy but stiff from dried sweat, too, and he’s certain he sees dried blood in certain parts, too, especially in the white tips on the side where his wound is.

He takes a cup that he’d grabbed from the sink when preparing the bath, fills it with water and gently pours it over Akutagawa’s hair, tilting his head to avoid the water dripping into his wound, saturating his hair with water with just a few pours.

He starts to work the shampoo into his hair with both hands, down to the roots, making sure his hair will clean up as good as possible. Akutagawa even relaxes a bit when Atsushi massages his scalp. He’s sure it feels nice.

“It’s starting to feel cold,” Akutagawa says through a shiver.

“Okay, yeah, it wasn’t super warm to begin with,” Atsushi remembers as he starts to rinse the shampoo out of his hair. He’d really like him to rinse off in the shower, but that seemed to have been a boundary he wasn’t willing to cross, and he’s lucky he got him this far anyway. He’s not coughing a much anymore, that’s a good sign.

“Can you bring me a change of clothes?” Akutagawa asks.

“Oh - yeah, sure. Just something comfortable? To sleep in?” Atsushi asks.

“That’s fine.”

Atsushi walks out and heads for the door in Akutagawa’s bedroom that he assumes is his closet - another room far larger than necessary, but with not much filling it. He doesn’t really have many clothes at all, so Atsushi doesn’t have a hard time deciding.

He takes an oversized t-shirt, and a sweater, in case he prefers one over the other, a pair of boxers and sweatpants. Both tops have low necklines, so Atsushi can easily peak at his wound. He thinks that needs to be covered for a while to avoid the blood seeping through.

He opens the door back into the bathroom, catching Akutagawa off guard, it seems - he’s already out of the tub, standing on the bathmat outside of it, scrambling to cover himself with a towel.

“Just leave them here. Let me change privately,” he requests, eyes averted from Atsushi. He’s embarrassed. Atsushi respects his wishes, though, and steps back outside of the bathroom to let him change.

Atsushi leans against the door, waiting on a signal from Akutagawa, hoping he can dress himself without falling over. Really, Atsushi wouldn’t mind helping. He almost wonders if he can dress himself easily with his ability, but maybe he’s avoiding doing that to conserve energy.

He hears him fall, though.

Atsushi rushes in, wanting to respect his privacy but also wanting to make sure that he’s safe, too. Akutagawa’s already trying to get himself back up when Atsushi opens the door, clothed, but pressing a hand up to his head. He decided on the sweatshirt, the t-shirt still lying on the floor.

“I’m fine,” he mumbles as Atsushi kneels next to him, worried he hit his head, “just dizzy.”

“Stay there. There’s an outlet right here, I’ll dry your hair,” Atsushi insists, standing and heading for the cabinet where he saw the hair dryer earlier.

Akutagawa leans against the side of the tub, eyes shut and in clear discomfort, head leaning back. He attempted to dry his hair, Atsushi thinks, but having his arms over his head to do the job was too much for him. It’s still fairly wet, dripping onto the hem of his sweater.

Atsushi takes a dry washcloth, tucking it underneath Akutagawa’s sweater and over the wound, deciding he’ll work on covering that later, but he needs to get his hair dry first. He towel dries it the best he can, as gently as possible to avoid jostling his sensitive head around, before he flips the switch on the hair dryer.

Akutagawa coughs a few times, covering his mouth. Atsushi reaches over to lay a hand against his neck, trying to get a feel for his temperature to see if it changed after the bath, but he still feels warm - in fact, Akutagawa even shivers a bit at the touch, and Atsushi knows he generally runs warm.

Akutagawa’s hair is thinner than it looks, and doesn't take long to try. Atsushi makes sure to not leave any of it damp, running his hands through it to make sure he didn't miss a single strand of hair.

Atsushi unplugs the hair dryer and puts it back where he found it before coming back to pull the drain up for the bath water, and he's surprised at how docile Akutagawa is being. He doesn't really move at all, just turning so that he's leaning against the tub again, not making any effort to stand up.

He's more deflated, really like he's given up. Atsushi is glad he's being compliant, but it's a little sad to see him like this.

“Where can I find something to bandage that wound?” Atsushi asks him, and Akutagawa just uses a hand to vaguely gesture at the cabinet where he found the disinfectant.

Atsushi gathers a few things - an antibiotic ointment he finds, a non-adherent pad and two large bandages to lay over each other and make sure the whole thing is covered. He kneels down beside Akutagawa's wounded shoulder and pulls the neckline of his sweater down, removing the washcloth he'd left over the wound. Akutagawa tenses up as he peels it off, stuck in a few places from the blood, but thankfully it's not bleeding much.

“Sorry,” Atsushi says, laying the washcloth off to the side.

“It's fine,” Akutagawa tells him. He sounds like he's getting really tired, and Atsushi realizes he can see it in his eyes, too. He'll get him to bed once they're done here.

Atsushi dresses the wound the best he can. It's not something he's used to doing at all. His own wounds usually heal up fast enough for him to just tough through them and hope for the best, but he imagines Akutagawa's body heals even slower than the average person with how sick he is.

His stomach twists, trying to keep that out of his head. He's not dying now. He'll be okay. Atsushi will take care of him and he'll be fine.

He finishes up, surprised with how still Akutagawa stayed throughout the whole process of Atsushi figuring out the angles of the bandages and such, but he realizes that his eyes are shut, his head leaned against the tub.

Atsushi stands up, picking up the ointment and trash to dispose if everything properly, and Akutagawa tries to follow - using the tub as support to stand himself up.

“Wait, stay here, alright? I'll go change your sheets. I think I saw backups in your closet.”

“You don't need to do that,” he mumbles.

“What?” Atsushi teases, already out of the bathroom. He's pretty fast at changing sheets but Akutagawa's western-style king size mattress proves a bit of a challenge for him. He just hopes that he's fast enough to get back to Akutagawa in time to make sure he doesn't fall again.

But of course, Akutagawa has already tried to walk back. He's leaned against the tub, very clearly struggling to keep himself standing. He's paler than before. Clearly it's taking far too much effort for him to even just stand there.

“I can help you, you know. There's no reason to force yourself to walk if you can't do it,” Atsushi huffs.

“I won't let you carry me,” he growls, all of a sudden deciding he doesn't want any help - even after Atsushi helped him walk in here to begin with. He knows Akutagawa hates to have anyone help him with anything, but maybe he’s just trying to save face right now.

“I don't need to carry you,” Atsushi tells him. “We’ll just do what we did the way in here, okay?”

Akutagawa refuses eye contact, but his shoulders sink in defeat, realizing he can’t do it himself.

Atsushi helps him back to his bed, and this time, it take shim longer. Atsushi is well aware of how dizzy he is. He’s not sure if that’s due to his fever, a head injury, headache or something else, but right now it’s pretty bad. He must be sore, too.

Akutagawa closes his eyes as soon as he’s laying on his back, not entirely to go to sleep, it seems, because he sighs like he’s just experienced too tough of an ordeal. Atsushi almost wants to smile. He knows he’s pretty sick, but he seems more exhausted by something as simple as taking a bath than he was after any of the near-death fights he’s experienced.

“Feeling clean helps, right?” Atsushi asks. Akutagawa looks strangely peaceful, lying there like that, his clean, fluffy hair falling against the pillow, his eyes still closed. Maybe he is falling asleep. He coughs a few times, and lays a hand on his chest. Atsushi wonders if it hurts, but thankfully, the coughing doesn’t continue.

Akutagawa just nods. He’s surprised to see him admit it, but he thinks that’s a far as he’ll go.

“I forgot, I wanted to take your temperature…” Atsushi remembers, turning back towards the bathroom, figuring it’s probably in one of the many drawers there.

“Are you staying?” Akutagawa suddenly asks. He sounds half asleep, like he didn’t hear Atsushi’s mumbling at all. His eyelids part just enough to look at Atsushi’s form.

“Yeah, I'll stay,” Atsushi tells him. He’s not sure what to make of this. Does he want him to stay? Is he asking him to leave? He can’t do that, he’s still very clearly sick and that injury needs to be regularly tended to. But if he wants him to stay - can he even know that Atsushi just genuinely wants to help him? “Dazai - Dazai asked me to.”

Absolutely not true, but the only thing he could say to satisfy both concerns.

“When did…” Akutagawa starts, but without the energy to continue the conversation. His eyes start to fall shut again, and his breaths start to change again, slow, quiet.

Atsushi wonders how long it's been since he slept.

[queer-n-here]

Heyy!! I don’t know if you got this request yet because I think I sent it once but I don’t think it went through. The request was fucking Akutagawa when he has a dress on. (Bonus points if he’s wearing thigh high socks 🤤)

Take your time!

Oh, no, yeah, you're right, I didn't receive that one.

But OHMYFUCKINGGOD AKUTAGAWA IN A DRESS?!?! YOU WANT ME TO DIE?!?!

So I imagined something like this

Hope you like the fic! I've officially gone crazy because I'm double posting for the second time in the middle of exams :)

Contents: Fucking Akutagawa in a dress he borrowed from Higuchi because why not?

Warnings: Smut, top male reader, semi-clothed sex, marking, biting, begging for orgasm, praise kink (almost non-existent)

As Akutagawa poked his head out of the bathroom, you could tell from his flushed face that this was gonna be fun.

"I don't think this is a good idea." He said, face all red.

"Let me decide that, hmm, pretty baby?" You said softly, sitting on the side of the bed that faced the bathroom door.

And so Akutagawa stepped out, revealing what he'd kept hidden behind the door earlier.

The dress was shiny and black, the hem ending what looked like kilometers above his knees, exposing just the perfect amount of his beautiful thighs. It was sleeveless, too, and God, the way the dark fabric contrasted against his flushed skin was so fucking beautiful. It was majestic even in a non-sexual way. The dress hugged his waist perfectly, accentuating his curves, and the thigh highs that you'd picked to go with them were only making the tent in your pants worse.

Akutagwa was fucking gorgeous.

He wasn't looking at you but the floor, his hands clasped together behind his back as he fidgeted.

"Come here," Your voice sounded foreign to your own ears as you called him, your brain dazed and lagging as you admired and wondered at this godly beauty before you with every pore of your existence.

He stepped closer, black heels clinking on the floor as he did his best to walk in them, reaching out to you for balance once he was close enough.

"Fuck," You muttered softly, your hand sliding up his back as your brain recovered from the initial shock. "So beautiful, Akutagwa."

His breath hitched as he looked up at you, not knowing that you were already thinking about the ways with which you could ruin this perfect sight, make him yours and yours only.

You made him sit on your lap before kissing him, lips slamming against his so hard he almost fell off your lap, saved only by the arm you wrapped around his waist in a vice like grip.

Akutagwa was surprised by this sudden change in you, but he didn't dislike it. He opened up his mouth as you pushed your tongue in, wrapping his arms around your neck as a small gasp left his lips at your roughness.

Your grip on his waist was exhilarating, and as your other hand slowly climbed up his thigh, slipping under the dress when it reached it, he pulled away just to try and take the dress off for you.

"No need," You had already pushed him onto the bed, pinning his hands up above his head as you looked over him. "Keep it on."

And Akutagwa could only nod, rendered speechless by the look of insane desire in your eyes. If he'd known that you'd like it this much, he would have gotten Higuchi to lend him this dress sooner.

(Once she finds out what it's being used for, however, she might not be so willing to oblige him.)

You lowered your head to kiss him again, your fingers slowly lowering the shoulder strap of the dress so you could move your lips over the skin there instead, kissing and biting as Akutagawa bit his lip, moaning every time he felt your lips on his skin.

The feeling of him beneath you was just as exciting as it had been the first time you two had had sex, and the memory made you even more restless as you pulled up the hem of Akutagawa's dress to reveal... Nothing.

You looked up at Akutagwa, surprised out of your frenzy, and he blushed.

"I just d-didn't know what to wear b-beneath it, okay?" He stuttered, trying to hide away from your gaze. "The underwear I have just didn't... m-match the vibe!"

And you couldn't help but laugh softly, placing a soft kiss on Akutagawa's forehead. "Next time we go out, we'll buy a pair of panties to go with it, that good?"

Akutagwa blushed, nodding, and let you go back to his collarbone to create more pretty marks on his pale skin.

You kissed and licked, your fingers pinching the flesh of his thighs, making him whimper at the feeling. Soon, Akutagwa's eyes had tears slipping out of them from the abuse.

"[Name]..." He pleaded, and you obliged him.

You let go of Akutagwa's wrists, stripping yourself of your shirt and unzipping your pants, pulling out your throbbing dick from your boxers. Pushing apart Akutagwa's legs, you pushed the hem off the dress out of the way, exposing his gasping hole.

"How desperate," You commented, aligning your flushed tip with his entrance, slipping your length in slowly.

Akutagawa gasped at the feeling of your entering, scrambling to grab some part of the sheets beneath him for the purchase he needed as your cock infiltrated him.

You slowly began thrusting, your almost purple dick moving in and out of your lover's ass as you sped up, your hips rolling. Akutagwa moaned, grasping the pillow beneath his head and turning to hide his face in it.

"Come, now," You said, your hips bludgeoning into his now. "Don't be such a killjoy, hmm? Let me see how pretty you look."

And Akutagawa reluctantly obeyed, turning to face you again as you pounded into him, each thrust of your hips moving him up along the bed.

"So much better," You said, teeth gritted against the feeling of him around you. You continued ramming into him, spreading his legs wider apart with your hands to gain more access.

Akutagawa was soon lost to the feeling of your tip against his walls, his moans growing louder and louder as lewd sounds of skin slapping skin echoed through the room. He reached up to grip your arms, anchoring himself.

Suddenly, as your cock landed against a certain spot in him, he arched his back, wet hair sticking to his forehead as he cried out. You understood, shifting to hit that spot again.

As you continuously bullied his already sore sweet spot with your cock, Akutagawa couldn't even remember his own name anymore. His brain was foggy and clouded, no thought behind his eyes outside of how good you were making him feel.

His flushed erection was twitching with each thrust, and you knew he would soon be close.

You hooked your hands under his knees, pushing his thighs against his chest as the dress rustled. As you continued your onslaught of his prostrate, Akutagawa's face grew wetter and wetter with tears, your name and a few curses the only things his useless mouth could utter.

You leaned down to plant your lips onto it, hips snapping up against his, pressing his throbbing member against his stomach, the feeling of which made him moan louder against your mouth. As you kissed him, he reached up to wrap his arms around your neck.

"[Name], nhh! Hah, Mmph!"

You sped up, making him cry out, the puddle of tears on his face sliding down on either side as he shuddered and trembled.

"Ah! I'm c-close! Wai-Hah!" Akutagwa panted.

You clicked your tongue. "Now that's not very good, is it, Ryu? Are you gonna cum all over Higuchi's pretty little dress and ruin it?"

He whined, knowing full well what you meant. "Plea- Nnghh! Please, [Name], please, mmph! L-let me, hah, let me c-cum, I need to- Ahh!"

"You need to?" You smirked, feeling heat pooling into your own stomach as you sped up. "Go on then, beg for it. Such a pretty boy, I might as well give you permission."

Akutagwa obeyed immediately, begging as coherently as he could while you fucked him senseless, his sentences only half complete, but his eyes earnest, his grip on your arms turning slightly painful.

"Please, please, I'll be- Nggh, hah, hmm! I'll be g-good! I'll... I'll do any- Gahh! Anything! Please, please, please..."

As his rant continued, you found yourself taking pity on him. What with him looking so fucking sexy in that dress, even when it was all scrunched up against his stomach, and your own orgasm nearing, you nodded. "Such a good boy, cum for me, hmm?"

And he immediately did, ropes of cum shooting out of his untouched dick as his walls clenched painfully tight around your cock, tipping you over the edge, making you release in him.

As you slowed to a stop, panting and huffing, you couldn't help but admire the masterpiece you had created. Akutagawa, all flushed and breathless, with his eyes glazed over and cheeks flushed, had hickeys all the way from the base of his jaw to his shoulders. The dress was still as sexy on him as it had been the first time you'd seen him like that, only now there was the added view of your cock buried into his ass.

"So pretty," You leaned down to kiss him, in a way that told Akutagawa you were not done with him for the night. "So beautiful."

[knockyasocksoff2022]

Motion Sick

Sicktember 2024 - Prompt #6 Dizziness/Vertigo

Words: 4,440

Pairing: Tanizaki Junichoru x Tachihara Michizou

POV: First person

CW: Mentions of nausea and throwing up, but no graphic descriptions

Junichirou’s Perspective

I can feel my stomach churning, and that familiar acidity rising in my throat. I’m going to be sick. 

I knew I shouldn’t have come along, the agency didn’t even need me for this trip. It was Kenji who insisted that I come along so I wouldn’t miss the dolphins in the bay. He doesn’t know about my terrible motion sickness and being as spineless as I am, I couldn’t say no to him.

Now I wish I had.

It’s late afternoon but the summer sun is still high in the sky, the weather hot and sticky. My back aches and I feel lightheaded from being bent over the railing for so long.

Then I get an idea. It’s probably stupid, but no one is paying attention to me so I should be safe. I plug in my earbuds and press the dial button for the first contact in my phone. At first, the ringing is uncomfortably loud then the call is answered and his voice fills my ear.

“Jun? You good? You only call if there’s an emergency.”

I don’t answer right away, letting Michizou’s warm voice wash over me. I swallow thickly.

“Junichirou?”

“Sorry,” I whisper

“What for? You’re not hurt, are you? Why are you whispering?” Panic enters his voice. I shake my head before remembering he can’t see me.

“N-no. I’m-“ My voice fades out as my stomach roils, threatening to send its contents back up. I think I’d die if I puked while talking to Michi on the phone, that’d be way too embarrassing. I shouldn’t have called. “It’s stupid. You can hang up if you’re busy.” 

“I’m not. I’m at lunch with Gin and Higuchi. I'm glad you called too, cuz they were being all disgustingly lovey-dovey. And I’m sure whatever you called me for ain’t stupid. What is it?” Despite the loud conversations around him, his voice is comforting.

“I . . . well, I’m getting motion sick and I think I’m gonna puke. I . . . uh . . . just thought that hearing your voice might distract me a bit.” It sounds dumb as I say it.

He doesn’t answer, the line crackles in silence.

“See, I told you it was stupid.”

“No, it’s not. Where are you? In a car?” His voice is calm now, with a serious tone and I can imagine his expression, cool as he thinks through the situation. The background is quieter now like he’s stepped even farther away from wherever he was.

“On a boat, we’re looking for evidence in a murder case that was dumped in the bay. The waves are bad today though, so . . .”

“So that’s why we’re whispering.” I can see him nodding to himself. I smile at the thought, “Where are your meds?”

“I left them at home,” I admit.

“Of course you did. I’d bring you some, but . . .” He laughs, the affectionate teasing sending warmth through me. “So what should I do?” The teasing turns to sympathy.

“Can we just talk? About anything.” The desperation leaks through as another wave rocks the boat.

“Sure. . . .” He hums trying to think of a topic, I find myself tapping out the rhythm on the railing focusing on it instead of the rocking of the boat. He ends the melody with a flourish, “Today I ran into Elise, you know, the Boss’s kid or whatever.”

I turn on the camera and nod, still not trusting myself to speak. Michi seems to get it.

“Yeah, well she somehow bribed him to wear not only a maid outfit but a nurse outfit and one of those supposedly “sexy” devil costumes. She showed us all the pics. It was a riot but I felt kinda weird looking at them, you know. Like it was an invasion of privacy, and also if the Boss knows I saw them he might give me desk duty indefinitely.”

I laugh, so hard that my stomach pain increases fivefold but it feels good.

“That’s the only really funny story I have for today, some other stuff happened too, we had an assassination job, but if you think you’re gonna puke maybe I’d best not tell you those. . . . Anyways, want me to make dinner tonight. I might need your help, but I can do most of it. I know being sick always makes you tired.”

I think I can speak again, I take a breath, sighing when I find my stomach has settled down considerably. “Yeah, I would like that, make it something light though, a soup or something.”

“Cool. And, uh, don’t feel bad about calling, I’m happy to help. And seeing Gin with Higuchi was making me miss you a lot, I miss you right now.” He sounds awkward, still new to expressing emotions so blatantly. My stomach clenches, not out of nausea, but wanting. Seeing him over the phone isn’t enough, I want his arms around me, his lips brushing my cheek.

“I miss you too, but I guess I should let you go before Gin and Higuchi get suspicious.” I’ll admit even I can tell I sound pouty, but I know the longer I stay on the call the more likely it is for one of the other agency members to catch me.

“Yeah, you’re probably right. But promise you’ll call me back if you start feeling bad again.” I can hear the worry in Michizou’s voice even as he tries to hide it. It makes my heart flutter in my chest.

“Okay,” I say the word but don’t hang up, neither does he. We exist for a moment in comfortable silence.

“They’re so wrapped up in each other I think we have at least another hour before they realise.” He rolls his eyes.

I smile.

He starts telling me about how Akutagawa was being creepy while referring to some short story about some gate, and I bask in the warm glow of his voice and enthusiastic facial expressions as he talks. Soon I’m laughing so hard I drop my phone, my earbuds yanked out of my ears. I can faintly hear Michizou complaining about how I “dropped” him.

I bend down to pick up the device but someone is already handing it to me. Kenji. 

My breath catches and I feel nauseous again. Maybe he’ll be really nice and won’t tell.

He stares at the phone screen, and Michizou stares back, as if maybe if he’s still enough Kenji will think he’s just a photo. Or maybe he’s in shock. After a second he clicks off the camera and hangs up belatedly.

“Why were you talking to the Bandaid guy? Is he your friend?” Kenji asks it with no malice whatsoever, but if he knows he might tell the others, not realising the ramifications.

I think about asking who he’s referring to, and playing dumb but it’s too late for that.

“Oh, um, we were just . . . He’s my friend, but you can’t tell anyone okay.”

“Okay! Is he nice like Cool Hat-san?”

I snort at his nickname for Executive Nakahara. “Well, he’s nice to me, but he can be a little mean sometimes, you know.”

“Oh, he’s just like Cool hat-san then!”

“What do you mean?”

“Cool hat-san always seems so angry but one day I saw him and Dazai-san snuggling with each other through the window of Dazai-san’s dorm. And he must be a really good hugger because Dazai-san kept telling him not to stop. I was only walking by so I don’t know the rest, but they seem also to be good friends.”

I’m so shocked that I can’t answer for a whole minute. I’m not sure what the hell is going on between those two but I know they weren’t snuggling. Before I can form an acceptable reply, Kenji asks: “Is Bandaid guy a good snuggler?”

If I was drinking or eating anything I would have spit it out. I can feel my entire face heating up. I’m not sure whether I’m saved or doomed even further because Atsushi is walking over to me.

“Junichirou! What’s wrong? You’re all red!”

“Ohhh, I . . . uhh, I’m just seasick is all, I hate boats!” I groan again, patting my stomach to add extra effect.

Atushi nods, “Oh, I didn’t know. Are you alright? Should I bring Naomi?” He sounds unsure and cringes as he says my sister’s name.

“No!” It comes out too quickly, I force myself to sound calmer, “Don’t bring Naomi, I can handle a little sickness myself. I’ll be fine with a few deep breaths.”

“Are you sure?”

I nod.

Atsushi walks back towards the boat’s cabin.

“Maybe you should call Bandaid guy again, tell him to bring you some medication when we return to the dock,” Kenji says, too loudly, because Atsushi turns back around.

I expect him to make a scene but he just walks over calmly.

“Who’s ‘Bandaid guy?’”

“A friend.” I can hear the shaking in my voice. Atsushi hates the mafia, he’ll never trust me again if he were to find out.

He squints as if thinking then his eyes widen, he stares straight at me. He knows.

What should I do? What should I do? What should I do? What should I do?

“I see. Hope you feel better.” is all he says before walking off again.

WHAT? WHY? Isn’t he going to tell? How is he just okay with that?

-

Everyone else is so busy with the evidence being pulled up from the seafloor that I’m alone again.

The anxiety has turned back into motion sickness, even worse than last time, so despite already being caught once, I do the only thing I can think of, I call Michizou back.

He answers on the first ring.

“Worse?” he asks

“Yeah.” is all I can manage.

“How bad?”

“Bad.” I cringe at the croaky sound of my voice.

“Okay. What can I do?”

“Just talk?”

“Sure. I already told you most of the funny things. Does it matter the topic?”

“Nothing gory.”

“Hmm.” I hear him shuffling around, “How about this? It’s a collection of poems, I got it from my brother . . . it’s what they sent back when he, well, you know.”

He takes my silence and heavy breaths for a yes and starts to recite the poetry. I close my eyes and lay down on the boat deck soaking in his gentle words.

Kenji’s Perspective

After a long day, the boat is finally back in the dock and we’re all gathered at the rail where the ramp will drop for us to get back on the ground, all but one.

“What the hell is he doing?” Yosano-san asks, pointing to Junicihrou-san lying on the boat’s deck with his earbuds in. He looks serene.

“I dunno,” says Atsushi-san.

“I think he’s talking to a Band-Aid guy, or maybe he’s listening to music.”

Oops. What do I do now? I’ll have to apologise to Tanizaki-san for revealing the secret.

“Baindaid guy? Is he a doctor?” Yosano-san asks

“I wasn’t supposed to tell you that, but no, I don’t think he’s a doctor. I saw him on Facetime, he looked way too young.” I shrug. 

I did recognise him, from the raids on the office, but I don’t know his name. I hope she doesn’t ask if I know him. I’m a terrible liar. Thankfully Atsushi steps up.

Atsushi’s Perspective:

I tap Kenji on the shoulder and he steps back.

If you’d asked me to lie even a few months ago, I’d have totally flaked, but these past few months of excusing for gaps in time have improved my skills greatly. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing.

“Maybe he’s a friend from school? The siblings go to the local High School, right? Surely the two of them must have some friends besides us to see when they’re not working? If not that’s sad.”

Yosano-san nods, a thoughtful expression on her face. “Maybe? But they’re pretty weird so I’m not sure. They've never mentioned anyone. If it is a friend, though, I’m glad. Maybe Noami will find a nice boy to get attached to instead of her brother.” She sounds doubtful. I don’t blame her.

“Eh, well just go and get him. I’m sure he’ll tell you if you ask.” Kunikida-san says

I can’t help frowning at this. “Yeah, he probably will.” It comes out louder and more bitter than I intended.

“What’s that face for?” he asks.

“He’s scared of Yosano-san, and you know it. It’d be unfair to use that against him. He probably doesn't want to tell us, so don’t make him, okay.” I’ve never snapped at him before, and I’m not sure if this qualifies, but I don’t want Junichirou to say anything he isn’t ready to yet. 

Ryu told me about them as soon as they got together. And . . . I know that Motojirou-san has a massive crush on Yosano-sensei

She frowns back at me. “Okay? Jeez. What’s got you so intense about this so suddenly?”

“I- I, he just looks really relaxed. If he’s not in pain from the seasickness anymore, does it matter?”

“I suppose not.” She concedes, still looking very suspiciously at me. After a tense moment of staring, we both nod. The boat is almost to the dock, and Junichirou is still lying on the deck.

Kunikida-san is walking over to him, probably worried about his schedule, we were out here longer than planned. The last thing he wants is for disembarkment to be delayed. Poor Junichirou. 

Kunikida’s Perspective:

I have patience for Junichirou’s affliction, of course I do, but if he doesn’t get up soon, we’ll have to carry both him and the evidence off the boat. I’m sure Kenji wouldn’t mind, but, still . . .

As I look down at him, it’s impossible to miss that he looks more serene than I’ve ever seen him, and on a boat of all places. His breathing is steady and even. He’s hovering on the edge of sleep. I wonder what he’s listening to. White noise maybe? Surely not waves?

I almost don’t want to wake him. Alas, it’s necessary.

“Tanizaki-kun, please get up. We’re at the dock now. You won't feel ill anymore.”

He doesn’t stir. After a moment I give him the lightest of taps with my toe. 

“Mmm, Michi? No. Let me sleep a bit more, okay? I’ll have soup later.”

“Michi? Who’s Michi? It’s me, Kunikida-san. Your superior at the agency.”

He jolts up, eyes wide. Is this “Michi” his girlfriend? If so, I can see how that would be embarrassing.

“Wha– I-I’m so sorry. I thought, uh, I thought that you were, uh, my . . . brother. Yeah, my bro Michi, uh, you know.”

Brother? But, he has no other family members besides Naomi, as far as I’m aware.

I look him dead in the eye, daring him to continue. He powers down his phone, probably ending whatever audio he was listening to.

“Tanizaki-kun, you don’t have a brother.”

He blinks slowly, processing. “M-maybe I do . . .”

“Tanizaki-kun. I don’t really care who you were talking to, but you do need to get up. Come on.”

He looks distinctly relieved as I help him to his feet. He sways a little but seems alright overall.

-

When we return to the office, the President relives Junichirou of his duties for the day.

“Go home, Tanizaki-kun. Rest up.”

“T-thank you, sir.” Junichirou bows deeply, still looking a little shaken.

Poor boy. Today wasn’t easy on him. Kenji apologises for suggesting he come along as he goes, but Junichirou shakes his head, saying it’s fine, telling him not to feel guilty.

Junichirou’s Perspective:

It’s nice that Noami agreed to stay at the office to help out with paperwork in my place. Even a few months ago she would have never.

After lying down for so long, it feels odd standing up. My head spins and my legs feel heavy. I still feel hot with the embarrassment from earlier with Kunikida-san. 

When I’m far enough away from the office, I pull out my phone and dial Michizou again.

The car park feels way too large, and heat radiates off the concretised ground. Since when did the earth rotate so fast? Maybe it’s just me?

“Hey, Jun, you hung up on me earlier, what happened? Are you back now?”

“ . . . Yeah, and I th-think I’m gonna pass out. P-please come pick me up.”

“Shit! Yeah, where are you?”

“Uhh, everything a bit fuzzy honestly.”

“Jun? Shit, uh, stay awake okay, er, sit down if you can, yeah?”

“Yeah.” I do, leaning against some stranger’s car. It does help. “I’m sitting, I’ll share my location.”

“Okay, I’m coming.”

-

I open my eyes to the screeching of tyres. It’s close, but I can’t bring myself to move, too afraid I’d only fall. Which I guess doesn’t make much sense since I’m already sitting.

“Jun! Hey, Jun, you good?”

Michizou stands over me. He crouches down, tucking my hair back.

“Hey, come on, let’s get up.”

He starts to lift me but his body is too warm against mine, I shove him off.

“Too hot.”

“Sorry. I’ve got water.” He holds out a thermos, I take it eagerly, almost dropping it, but it doesn’t fall, only floats. It’s cool. I watch it in awe for a minute.

“Jun? Are you alright? You need to drink.”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, I’m just a bit out of it.” I must be more ill than I thought, It’s obviously just Michi’s ability that’s making the thermos float.

“Okay, tell me if you feel sick again.”

“Yeah.” Carefully, I take a sip. The cool water does wonder, the fog clearing so quickly it makes me a little dizzy again.

“Better?”

“Much.”

“Good, I have meds at home, and soup too, you’ll need to eat.” He says as he opens the door for me.

I don’t realise that he’s given himself the driver’s side until I’m already under the safety belt, hand movements on autopilot.

“Wait, Michi, you know I have to drive. If I don’t I’ll get sick again.” I start to unbuckle the belt, but it’s a bit harder than usual, with so many straps. Michizou puts a hand over mine to stop me.

“Juni.” It’s a sweet nickname, one he almost never uses. I can count the number of times on one hand, and this is only the second. It makes me feel ready to melt. “You’re all dizzy and shit. Let me drive, yeah? We’ll be home soon.”

“But . . . I’ll get sick again.” It’s babyish of me, I know and I hate how whiny I sound but, “Michi, I really don’t want to be sick again.”

He leans over the console, hugging me from the side. He smells nice, and the motion is gentler than usual. He rubs my shoulder and runs his fingers through my hair. The small action does wonders for the blooming headache, “I know. But you’re not good right now. Just this once? You’re always fixin’ me up when I’m down, so let me help you today.”

His hands feel so good that my eyes start to close. He’s right, there’s no way in any universe I could operate a vehicle like this. And he’s a better driver than me on my best day, more experienced.

“Yeah, I’m dumb.”

“No, you’re not,” he assures. “Just close your eyes. I’ll wake you at home.”

-

When Michizou’s voice draws me from sleep I open my eyes to the sight of the out kitchen counter overhead light. It’s off, sparing me from a worse headache. Am I . . . on the counter? He must’ve carried me in and put me here. I blush a little. There’s something cool on my forehead, a flannel, I think. Do I have a fever? I thought I was just seasick, but maybe . . .

“You’re really warm, not a fever, but I think you got heat stress,” Michizou informs me, his voice drifting in from the bedroom.

“Oh,” Is all I can say. I notice that he’s stripped me down to my pants and tank top. I do feel better. “Why am I on the counter, though?”

He blushes this time, “I dunno, I figured the sofa would be too hot since you’re kinda sweaty.”

“Makes sense.” Our sofa is very warm, and covered with blankets that Gin and Ichiyou-kun gave us.

The room only blurs a little when I sit up. I wring the now slightly warm cloth out in the sink.

“Google said a cool bath would help bring down your temp and with the headache. How sick do you feel? Do you wanna eat first? Or can the meds wait.”

I consider myself for a moment. I’m still a little queasy. I was asleep so I didn’t get sick in the car, but the ride didn’t exactly help. The medication would bring relief, but I’m still worried whatever I eat might come right back up. I hate throwing up. You’d think it’d be easy after all this time, but it hurts. Maybe if I wait it out, the queasy feeling will go away. “Bath first, I think.”

“Kay, I’ll run the water.”

-

The bath fills quickly, and because I don’t have to wait for the water to cool, I can get in right away. It feels like heaven after all day on the hot boat deck. I just soak for a minute, listening to Michizou finish dinner in the kitchen. He’s not amazing at cooking, but he can make about five dishes really well, and soup happens to be one of them.

Michi was right, I am sweaty. I should probably shower.

Lazily, I drain the tub and turn on the shower nozzle. Standing up reminds my stomach of the boat, but the cold water helps.

-

“Soup’s done. There’s cucumber salad too, and watermelon cuz Gin went to the farmer’s market. I gotta cut it though.” 

“Mmm, sounds good. I’m almost done.” I hope my stomach can take it.

“You decided to shower?”

“Yeah.”

“Feeling better?”

“A lot.”

I hear him start to return to the kitchen.

“Wait.”

“Yeah? Do you need help?”

“Could you wash my hair?” I’m grateful he can’t see me, it makes the request easier. I’m so used to having affection sort of forced on me by Naomi, as pure as her intentions may be, that it’s made me shy to ask for it.

“Sure, let me just wash my hands. Be there in a sec.”

-

I hear the tap shut off and Michi’s footsteps, almost silent across the wooden floor.

The door opens. He smiles, softer than his usual fanged grin. He’s holding a pitcher and a stack of clothes. I must’ve forgotten do get mine.

I sit, waiting patiently as he fills it.

“So, did your colleagues find the evidence they were looking for? For all that trouble, they better have.”

The phrasing makes me laugh. “You’re so formal sometimes.”

He looks down, focusing on the label of the shampoo bottle, “Yeah well, my mum had high standards for me growing up because of my brother, she beat it into me before I left. Some of it stuck, I guess.”

I smile, not that can take away all he’s been through, but I can try. “They did find it, I’m not sure what it was though.”

He laughs at that. “Tip your head back.”

I do, letting the cool water cascade over my head.

-

He helps me up.

The clothes in the stack are a mix of mine and his. I borrow from him so much it’s hard to keep track. Well, I say that, but our styles are actually quite distinct. I don’t care, not really. His black tee is well-worn and comfortable.

While I finish dressing, he dries my hair. It’s at times like this when our two-centimetre height difference is noticeable. He doesn’t have to reach up at all. It’s kind of hot, I won’t lie.

-

Thinking about food is one thing, but at the sight of it, I’m suddenly queasy. Not from motion sickness, per se, but just the anxiety that I’ll be sick again if I eat it, a vicious cycle.

“Michi, ‘m gonna-”

He helps me to the sink, rubbing soft circles over my back. 

I haven’t eaten since breakfast, but since I managed to avoid being sick on the boat and in the car, it’s all coming back up. The smell and sight make me sick yet again until my mouth feels disgusting.

“Shit, you’re really not feelin’ good, huh? Maybe I should take your temp again.”

“N-no, m’ not ill. Just worried.”

He seems to get it, as he shifts his hands slowly, running them down my side until his warm palms are against my upset stomach. “I promise, food will make you better, it always does.”

“Y-yeah, I know. M’ just dumb.”

“You really gotta stop sayin’ that.”

“Sorry.”

“That too.”

“Sor- I mean,d pens’t this gross you out.”

“Not really, I’ve seen worse. Besides I’m used to it . . . oh, not from you. You’re fine, I, uh, just had this friend, you know. Anyways, are you good for sec? I’ll get water.”

(A/N: Fukuchi’s always getting hungover lmao)

I nod.

He brings a glass with ice, fills it and hands it to me. I swallow and spit, repeating the process until I can’t taste the bile anymore.

“Better?”

I nod again, still shocked by the rudeness of it.

“You need only eat a bit, just to have something in your stomach before you take the pills. I’m not keen on a repeat of last time.”

There’s that formality again.

Last time. I had a bug so I took paracetamol without eating, got sick then passed out in the bathroom for a few hours.

“Me either.” I let him lead me to the table.

True to his word, and what I know in the back of my mind, the broth is harmless. I manage nearly a whole bowl with a small serving of salad before downing the medication with tea.

-

“See?” He’s smiling as we settle down on the sofa, “You’re fine now.”

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”

Now that I’ve cooled down, I miss his warmth again. I pull him closer until he wraps his arms around me.

“I’m so happy that I have you . . . I love you, Michizou.”

Maybe he didn’t hear, but then he leans down, lips brushing my ear, and whispers “Love you too, Juni.”

Suddenly the film isn’t nearly as interesting, not as much as Michizou’s finger in my hair anyway, making me feel all warm and fuzzy. I’m tired today, and I dislike lying, but maybe I’ll tell the President I’m still not feeling so good tomorrow.

Gosh, the things we do for love.

[shiveringgroovy]

coming off anon to feed you more headcanon asks

you answered an ask about social medias but heres for the real good stuff

fandom headcanons? who watches what, who reads, who is blissfully unaware of the community they're surrounded by, etc

jesus christ i'm going insane for this one. started this in april uhm hi chat i'm alive again (october)

ATSUSHI

doesn't participate in fandom spaces tbh

but he's into some old-school games

don't ask me why i think this but he's an emulator guy

DAZAI

HOMESTUCK. HE WAS IN THE HOMESTUCK FANDOM NO I DO NOT TAKE CRITIQUE

crazy into it too. keyboard warrior about it. ranpo was there

bless his heart

YOSANO

cult classic films !!

really into the craft, kill bill, maybe the scream franchise ? also perchance saw but not after the third movie

doesn't participate in online fandom spaces because she has better media literacy than everyone else

RANPO

homestuck and hetalia

need i say more

KYOUKA

saw because yosano got her into it. (her favorite is saw 3 because yuri)

and sanrio. ik it's a common headcanon but i think it fits !!!

loves a lot horror films/franchises but saw, the exorcist, and alien are her favs

also i think she likes cheesy shoujo romance anime!!!

HIGUCHI

you can't tell me she's not a himefujoshi on ao3 and tumblr

into tons of animes and shows

writes insane comments on ao3 too. many an author has questioned her sanity

has gotten into proship discourse before

she also like vocaloid, her favorite is megurine luka and has visceral reactions when you call teto a vocaloid

CHUUYA

be fr he would not give a shit about fandoms

dazai tried to get him into some of the stuff he liked as a teen but it never worked

he watched breaking bad though i guess

GIN

they loveee the scream franchise

has a ghostface mask they post pictures with from time to time

does not play at ALL about stu/billy

TACHIHARA

also into scream

really likes video games as well!! legend of zelda and the elder scrolls WHOA WHO SAID THAT

LOUISA

she's a fujoshi. draws yaoi on her plans

only really into fluffy stuff

tumblr girlie for SURE. hides her account like drugs even though it's just fluffy bl manga and art

NIKOLAI

he's a horror fiend and lurks online for content because duh

watches heavy gore/body horror films like it's instagram reels

i think he tries to keep his digital footprint clean for obvious reasons but if he sees a take so bad he'll tell op to die brutally

he's totally that guy to say "this is MILDDD" to the people he's watching american psycho with. he's an ass about his preferences sorry

SIGMA

they have better things to do ???

TERUKO

idk how to explain it but she's really into nana, tomie, uzumaki, and other darker/grittier manga/anime

and yuri/gl. she doesn't play about her toxic screwed up yuri

she seems like a whump fan. fucking up that dead dove with her hunting dog teeth

[sugawara5]

random things that could happen with the bsd characters on a walk

this is literally 70% crack please don't take this too seriously also a bit of suggestive content and cussing

Atsushi Nakajima: You'll probably be approached by every single cat in the neighborhood and Atsushi will stop to pet them. It's cute until they're all scratching your legs and laying dead rats at your feet. Dazai Osamu: At least two women will come up to you both, slap him out of nowhere and tell him that they're gonna cut his dick off if they ever see him again. If you're attentive, you'll see Akutagawa at every street corner stalking you guys. Akutagawa Ryuunosuke: If you're lucky enough to walk with him, it'll probably be at night. He'll want to grab your hand but forgets he coughed blood on it earlier so you feel a slick, cold thing touch your palm and instinctively slap it away. You realize it was his hand and there's an awkward silence for the rest of the walk. He cries about it later. Chuuya Nakahara: Will try to impress you so hard, especially using his ability. 100% will beat up any guy that would try and approach you. Accidentally punches someone you know that was coming up to you to say hi. The rest of your "walk" is spent in the hospital where your friend is bedridden with 4 broken bones and a bloody nose. Kunikida Doppo: There's a strict schedule. You'll have 11 minutes and 46 seconds to complete your walk, or on weekends 30 minutes and 56 seconds. While walking, you'll try to talk to him about something but it always just ends with him complaining about Dazai's dumbassery. Ranpo Edogawa: Prepare a route for your walk before hand and make sure not to pass any sweet shops unless you want your wallet emptied. He'll hold your hand like a kid and skip along the path- but will leave you without a second thought if he sees a stray cat cause he wants to give it to Fukuzawa. Yosano Akiko: Literally the best person to go on a walk with. She'll pick up a flower and put it in your hair cause she thinks it'll look pretty on you. Don't get hurt though. Not even a grazed knee cause the moment she sees it, she'll bring her chainsaw out. Fukuzawa Yukichi: Will fucking dip your ass if he sees a barking dog. Have fun trying to keep up with the DILF. Peepaw can run faster then you might think. (blame tik tok for that nickname btw) Gin Akutagawa: She doesn't talk much but will quietly whisper things to you if you're close to her. Ignores Tachihara like a fucking plague and if you run into her brother you're going to get stabbed-unless you happen to be Dazai Osamu. Which of course, you'll never be. Michizō Tachihara: He's gonna try and get into your pants at a park bench at one in the morning. Some drunk girl stumbles by and asks if she can join you guys. You leave after Tachihara says yes. Ichiyō Higuchi: Bisexual queen and anyone can tell. She simps for the Akutagawa Siblings while you guys walk but you can't blame her cause you're doing the same thing. Links your arms together. Kouyou Ozaki: Spends the whole time talking about Kyouka and how cute she is, probably starts tearing up about it cause she wants her back home. You once said she was acting like Killua's mother from Hunter X Hunter. She almost decapitated you. Ogai Mori: Elise tags along always and people comment on how you guys look like a cute family. Mori doesn't appreciate you replying with, "I rather die than marry an alternate universe Dino." Elise thinks you're fucking funny as hell. Fyodor Dostoevsky: God complex motherfucker will death stare anyone who just as much as jaywalks and call them a "sinner". Rats follow him around and he has a throne in the sewers with "Rat King" spelled out above it in red spray paint. Unfortunately for you- it actually looks aesthetic so he takes you there for your walk. Nikolai Gogol: You'll probably end up dead but it'll be the best fucking walk you ever take. Starts talking about how everyone's a bird in a cage and probably farts every few minutes cause he ate beans for lunch. Randomly moans cause he thinks its funny. Sigma: Takes you to somewhere cute like a library and would try to kiss you at the end of the walk. But he gets nervous, trips, and falls on his face. Gogol's

recording it all behind a bush to send to Fyodor later. Edgar Allen Poe: Karl's usually in his coat so whenever you go near him he smells like a whole ass zoo cause Karl's a fucking player and as railed various she-racoons from all over Yokohama. Your walks look like a fucking pandemic with social distancing and shit. Mark Twain: Just like Tachihara, if he likes you he's gonna try and rail you somewhere. Gets cockblocked by Hawthorne who throws a whole ass cross as his head and knocks him out. He later proposes to you cause the only way Hawthorne will let you fuck is when you get married. Jouno Saigiku: He's not going to open his eyes. No matter what. You don't know if he's sleep walking or actually awake and listening to you. But it's YOU who trips and falls- into his arms. It's romantic till he drops you on purpose cause he needed to scratch an itch.

[astxlphe-fics]

Ceci n'est pas une pipe

Rintarou, Elise, and the things they share

Word count: 2.237

Content warning: mentions of Mori and Yosano's backstory

Every day I think about Mori and Elise's relationship so this more of a headcanon dump with a side of character interactions.

Elise knows she’s not the first, real Elise.  

Mori Ougai is not the true Rintarou, and Vita Sexualis is not the true Elise. She simply chose her face out of Rintarou's most treasured memories, the memories of a blond girl in a blue dress, laughing and dancing with him by the riverside. 

Rintarou loved Elise, at the time, and now he loves Vita Sexualis who lives in the shape of Elise, but is not her. People sometimes find it quite disturbing, but Vita Sexualis is an ability — she’s his ability — it’s not her job, or her concern, to appease people who do not understand. 

She is not the first Elise, but she is an Elise, who first opened her eyes in a makeshift war hospital when Rintarou himself was barely an adult, a response to his deep need for someone. 

Anyone.

That day, she took this face and, she figured, she might as well take the name too. She came to like it a lot over the years. 

Maybe she thought such a familiar appearance would be reassuring. She did not understand him, back then.

She picks a sweet from the box and throws the paper on the ground when she’s done unwrapping it.

Other abilities have no idea what they’re missing out on, cooped up in the minds of their humans like this.  

More for her. That's the privilege of existing as a separate entity.

In the center of the office, Rintarou is giving Akutagawa his orders for the night. The boy is standing straight, shoulders tense, taking notes of every word. It doesn’t mean he’s going to obey when it comes down to it, but at least he is listening. 

Rintarou always liked the rebellious ones, to an extent. Akutagawa, she can tell, reminds him of Dazai in that way (“it’s like herding a bunch of particularly aggressive puppies” she hears him think, “they’re content to do what they’re told until something catches their attention and they're off doing their thing, not listening to you”), so he’s happy to let him off his leash once in a while.  

It’s entertaining, and kind of funny. She smiles to herself, humming quietly, and Higuchi glances at her from her post on Akutagawa's right, looking mildly worried.

Her crayon traces a red line through a doodled Akutagawa’s neck. Higuchi grimaces.

Do they know, she wonders, that Mori Ougai is only the part of himself Rintarou is willing to show them?

"Rintarou" is not someone they need to know. He's not for anyone but Elise.

Finally, Akutagawa bends into a sharp bow before taking his leave, and Rintarou leans back into his chair, stretching. He pulls out several files, looking over some paperwork, while Elise continues to play quietly. 

Then, he starts falling asleep. 

She first feels it when the taste of the candy fades from her tongue, and the crayon falls through her hand. His consciousness and mind are about to let her go, right here on his own desk. 

She wrinkles her nose — that won’t do. He’ll wake up with a terrible backache.

Letting the rest of her things drop on the ground, she gets up, dusts her dress as if any dust could stick to it in this state, and marches to the desk. She climbs up, sitting in the middle of the paperwork, pushing them to the side. 

Her hand comes to rest at the side of his head. She’s usually mean and petulant, poking fun at him, because he liked someone like this once.  

Yosano was a doctor, just like the Elise who was once by Rintarou's side.

Well, almost. Yosano wasn't a doctor on her own accord. Elise stood by Rintarou’s side as he pushed her, forced her into being a doctor for soldiers who weren’t allowed to die. She remembers Yosano becoming one of the building blocks of the Elise she is now, both due to Rintarou, and due to the kinship Yosano seemed to feel for her despite not being human. 

Rintarou didn’t love her like he’d loved first Elise as a child, but he’d liked the way she was, and so it is the way Elise is. 

It doesn’t matter if no one else understand, if they all think of her as a real child, or a convincing fake. All that truly matters is that she and Rintarou understand each other. 

One day she'll get him to quit the wine though. She's not sure what he likes so much about it, the thing tastes foul.

Now, he’s a bit too tired, so she leans down to kiss the top of his head. Then, she grabs a strand of his hair. 

“Rintarou.” And she pulls sharply. “Wake up!” she calls, her free hand on her hip. “I’m hungry!”  

He blinks blearily, straightening himself in his armchair. His back does a strange sound and he winces. “Ouch, Elise-chan—” He whines, letting himself being pulled forward by the hair.  

“My sweets are finished,” she declares. “I want more.” 

He offers her a lopsided grin. “Of course, let’s go! Maybe we can find you a new dress too!" She sends him a flat look — has she mentioned his doubtful sense of fashion too? "Let’s see, who is open at this hour—” 

The guards at the door jump when it flies open. Elise hurries down the stairs with Rintarou on her heels, and their subordinates who are on the night shift stare at them — one of them even laughs, telling a joke about the boss and his spoiled daughter. 

He read the name “Ougai” in a book, once, before entering medical school. To this day, he still can’t remember the title of the book or its author, but the name stuck out to him.

And none of them truly sees Rintarou and Elise.

+

It just...sounded nice, so he kept it in mind. For later.

As someone whose attachment to his identity and past was flimsy at best, it was only logical that he would adopt it one day.

He took on the Mori name while entering school, and named himself Ougai when officially hired as a military doctor.

And so, just as Vita Sexualis became Elise, Rintarou became Mori Ougai.

Elise who knows him. She is the last one who truly does, and she’s the last one he can be “Rintarou” for.

There is a lot of Yosano in her attitude, unapologetically loud and snappy and ready to kick at a moment notice, but she takes aafter Fukuzawa and Natsume in the way she scolds him when she has to save him, and has a little of Dazai when she’s mad and doesn’t want to talk to him. 

Nowadays though, there are things that are just hers.

“What kind of candies would you like tonight?” He doesn’t really need to ask. He already knows. She’ll want strawberry, chocolate, and caramel and he’ll get it for her, obviously. Those have been her favorites for years.

“Strawberry,” Elise demands. “And chocolate. And caramel!” 

The first Elise didn’t like candies. 

Neither do Fukuzawa and Dazai, while Natsume likes liquorice, of all things.

Rintarou has a memory — though he’s fairly sure it’s not his memory — of her being handed sweets, many years ago, by Yosano. He even remembers what they tasted like. 

(“Do you want some candies? I still have some from the shop I worked at.")  

He doesn’t bring it up with her. It’s no use deconstructing what makes her herself, what matters is that they still understand each other. 

Besides, she gets cranky when he tries to pick at her personality and the differences between her, the first Elise, and everyone else.

And on those days, he sees even more clearly the truth of “Elise”. Despite starting out as barely more than a name and a face, evolving from a construction of idealized memories and of people he’d come to like over the years, the jigsaw puzzle she once was has long since become a full picture.

He isn't sure if she was supposed to develop this way.

Maybe it's his favorite thing about her. She is so much more than what she was supposed to be.

How could he not love her in the way you can only love a lifelong friend and companion?

“The 24/7 candy shop should be open,” he tells her, looking at his phone. “It’s quite further than our usual, but I believe you will be satisfied.” 

“Good enough,” Elise grabs his hand and drags him forward with a strength that doesn’t fit her size, and she laughs at him when he almost trips. “Don’t be slow, Rintarou!” 

The laughter is all hers too. He doesn't remember ever meeting someone who laughs like this, and the sound both resonates outside and echoes inside of his own head.

Like a soft bell ringing and reminding him that she is always here.

He walks faster to keep up with her, looking for the street signs to make sure they’re going in the right direction. 

Until…. 

“It’s closed.” 

They stare at the sign on the door, and Elise frowns, scowling deeply. “Why is it closed?” 

“I believe,” he answers, looking at the sign taped to the window, “that they are making renovations.” He sighs deeply, shoulders slumping in defeat. “I’m sorry.” 

She doesn’t say anything, glowering at the sign. “Fine! Let’s go home.”  

“I’m sure we can find somewhere else —” 

“No.” She shakes her head. “I want to go home now.”  

She is not lying, but it takes little efforts to feel her frustration. He will find something at home to give her instead of candies, maybe some hot chocolate? The idea seems to appease her, and she nods without either of them needing to say a word. 

Their connection runs deep, and is not something Rintarou will ever share with anyone else.

There is nobody in the world who will know him like she does, and the idea of losing her is...well, he remembers, clearly, the night the fog rolled into Yokohama and, inside him, the emptiness that soon followed. 

Like a hole in his chest where she should have been, and when she nested herself once again when Fukuzawa sliced through the gem in her forhead.

“You’re right, let’s go home.” And as she stalks off, Rintarou chuckles, following her, waving apologetically at a passerby he barely avoids colliding with. “Elise-chan is so cute ~” 

“Stop saying that!” 

Last time, he laughs it off in front of Fukuzawa, saying she was too cute to fight with.

They’re already home, and Rintarou is fishing the chocolate powder out the cupboard, when his phone rings. 

But, if he is a man of logic, ready to commit, unflinching, the most cold-blooded crimes for the sake of duty, why could he still not go against her that night?

+

It’s Akutagawa. 

Immediately, he straightens himself, picks up. “What is the problem?” 

Elise, pulling two mugs off the shelf, stops in her movement to stare at him. 

Rintarou listens intently to Akutagawa’s report. The boy is noticeably furious, his tone fast and snappish, regularly interrupted by coughing.

“I see,” he says when he is done. “Bring the survivors to the Headquarters' cells. Leave them here until tomorrow, then we’ll make them talk.” Then: “And, Akutagawa-kun, don’t forget to bring yourself and Higuchi-kun to the infirmary, you are of no use if you are too injured to function properly."

Akutagawa agrees half-heartedly. He must be tired; Rintarou rarely gets such a positive reaction when telling him he needs to be taken care of.

"So he's not dead?" Elise asks when he hangs up.

"No, he's very much alive."

"Ah." She blinks slowly. "Maybe next time then."

"Elise-chan, Akutagawa-kun is a valuable asset to the Port Mafia. For now, let's not wish the boy an unfortunate end, alright?"

She rolls her eyes. "You're no fun, Rintarou."

Leaving the phone on the kitchen counter, he finishes preparing hot chocolate, before he shrugs of his black coat to set it on the back of a chair. He runs a hand through his hair, undoing his ponytail. Elise joins him in the living room, sitting next to him on the couch with her mug.

Forgetting about his hot chocolate, he watches her, feeling her calming down in the depth of his mind.

She has taken off her shoes, legs crossed, as she drinks, letting off a silent, familiar warmth. The chocolate leaves a dark mark on her upper lip and a sweet aftertaste on Rintarou’s tongue, and she wipes her face with the back of her hand. 

“Rintarou,” she says once she’s finished. Her voice is quieter, and she puts her mug on the table. “Let’s dance.” 

Rintarou blinks. His own cup is still untouched, but he smiles, eyebrows drawing together. “Of course.”  

He puts it next to hers and stands, extending his hands. Elise stretches her legs and joins him, her much smaller fingers slipping between his. 

“What would you like to dance to?” 

“I think you know.” She closes her eyes. "Think of it and I’ll hear it too.” 

He closes his eyes as well, and she hears it in her own head. The music.

They do not dance with the same steps Rintarou danced as a child. They have, since then, made their own tune.

(That night, when Rintarou finally falls asleep in a proper bed, Elise will still be within his mind and together they will share dreams.)

[sskk-ao3feed]

Empty Beauties and Sweet Nothings

by archerwrites

Another shock to his system. Chuuya felt his spine go rigid as he began to catch on. Why Mori brought him here, why he brought just him.

Apparently, Mori saw the understanding dawn on his face, because his smile widened and he spoke again. “I want you to join Port Mafia Modeling, Chuuya.”

Chuuya Nakahara is a street rat nobody until he's scouted by the Port Mafia Modeling agency, and suddenly his life is turned into a whirlwind of glitz and glam that he isn't sure how to handle.

But, for better or worse (though Chuuya would insist it was for the worst), a cheery model with a (literal) death wish floats into his life and their worlds turn upside down five times over.

Words: 10087, Chapters: 3/27, Language: English

Series: Part 1 of Double Black

Fandoms: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Yosano Akiko (Bungou Stray Dogs), Edogawa Ranpo (Bungou Stray Dogs), Kunikida Doppo (Bungou Stray Dogs), Tanizaki Junichirou (Bungou Stray Dogs), Tanizaki Naomi, Miyazawa Kenji (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Akutagawa Ryuunosuke (Bungou Stray Dogs), Akutagawa Gin, Edgar Allan Poe (Bungou Stray Dogs), Ozaki Kouyou (Bungou Stray Dogs), Tachihara Michizou (Bungou Stray Dogs), Higuchi Ichiyou (Bungou Stray Dogs), Mori Ougai (Bungou Stray Dogs), Fukuzawa Yukichi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Armed Detective Agency Ensemble (Bungou Stray Dogs), Port Mafia Ensemble (Bungou Stray Dogs), Armed Detective Agency and Port Mafia Ensembles (Bungou Stray Dogs)

Relationships: Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu & Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Akutagawa Ryuunosuke/Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Edogawa Ranpo/Edgar Allan Poe (Bungou Stray Dogs), Edogawa Ranpo & Yosano Akiko (Bungou Stray Dogs)

Additional Tags: Fluff, Angst, Fluff and Angst, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Hurt/Comfort, Dazai-Typical Suicide Mentions (Bungou Stray Dogs), Alternate Universe - No Powers, Model Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Photographer Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu is a Mess (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakahara Chuuya is a Mess (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu is Bad at Feelings (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakahara Chuuya Is So Done (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakahara Chuuya is So Done with Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakahara Chuuya is Bad at Feelings (Bungou Stray Dogs), Soukoku | Double Black (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakahara Chuuya Needs a Hug (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu is a Little Shit (Bungou Stray Dogs), No Ability AU, rating for language and sad stuff, Minor Ozaki Kouyou/Yosano Akiko (Bungou Stray Dogs), i love my lesbians, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, soukoku doesn't do feelings, imma be honest me either, the bsd fandom needs tissues and therapy, THERE ARE SO MANY TAGS IM SORRY, no beta we die like men, Model Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Angst with a Happy Ending, what's a skk fic without sad feelings right, kind of a niche au but i kinda love it, i know nothing about modeling or modeling agencies i'm sorry

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/41547786

[thedum1]

Death Note ask meme answers because I want to talk about my favorite anime.

My favorite character is hands down, Mail 'Matt' Jeevas. I saw rad art of him and it was instant love.

My least favorite douchebag is Higuchi. He's such a pervy creep and ugh. Bad vibes from him.

Please give me a Death Note character to ramble about. 🥺

I like Sidoh and Namikawa honestly. Sidoh is nice for comedy relief and Namikawa is pretty.

Answered this one. ❤️

I'd describe L as lawful evil or something like that. He has decent morals but some of the shit he does is really wrong. He's not as bad as Light/Kira but it's not by much IMO. 🤷

Misa.....is guilty but not as much as Light. A tiktok opened my eyes and Misa WAS supposed to die. Gelus saving her kinda screwed her over. She had no purpose till Light killed the burglar who murdered her family. I wish she wasn't so devoted but I understand why she is.

Please give me a Death Note character so I can think about them with the DN. 🥺

I think I'd have a break down of I got the DN. I'm a tender soul and I'm all bark and no bite.

Yeah. I have ships. Some contradict my own headcanons. My favorite is Mello x Matt and oddly enough L x Matsuda.

Please give me a Death Note ship to ramble about. 🥺

I like the anime for background noise but the manga for some rad Matt and Mello content.

Answered this one. ❤️

Rem. No questions. I was sad when she died because of Light.

Mello. My first angry blonde anime boy.

I hate to admit it but Light is smart. The only reason he lost was because of Mikami fucking up.

I personally love season two. Take a wild guess why. 😳

I'm torn on Whammy's House. Like it's nice it's a place for children without families but....training kids to be geniuses? Two kids broke down because of the high standards. Just give them a semi-normal childhood please.

Near alone isn't worthy in my eyes. And though Mello hated him the two of them together probably could go have gone beyond L.

Answered this one. ❤️

I'd revive Mello. I think because Matt was one of the ONLY characters he apologized to he'd "snap" and hunt Kira down to avenge his (probably) only friend. And I believe he could have done it too. He's got determination, skills, and the different smarts needed.

Watching L, Watari, and Rem die hurt and made me cry....but watching Matt and Mello die within moments of each other and Mello apologizing to Matt? Man I had to stop watching the anime for a few days after when I was a kid.

"I'll solve equations with my right hand and write the names of criminals with my left. Then I'll take a potato chip and EAT IT!" So much dramatic music and lighting for a fucking chip.

Oop. I started a whole Instagram account just for headcanons and art, you should check it out in the pinned post and maybe give it a follow. 🥺

I really wish we got more anime episodes for Mello's character development and Matt moments and development in general. My loves deserved better and I will fight anyone who shits on them to my face and by fight I mean cry, it'll be uncomfortable for everyone. They are my favorite comfort characters please don't let me know you hate them. 🥺

[its-jijii]

bsd girls

im gonna just uh.... warning. i didn’t expect this to be so long but below the cut is 6,745 words of me crying over girls in bsd. be warned, it is probably a long and hellish read lol. (no spoiler warning cause i think everything right now falls in realm of what has been shown in the anime)

okay hi i'm supposed to be editing photos in the car but instead i am going to rant now about how underrated the bsd girls are and why

starting out, the reason that they have so little content and attention is because there are so few female characters. in the armed detective agency the ratio of boys to girls was 8:4 (or 8:2 not counting naomi or haruno)

in the port mafia the ratio was 8:4 (counting elise)

the guild was 7:3

overall in the entire series (not counting gaiden or minor side characters), there are 40 males and 15 females*, which ends up in a ratio of 8:3. 

*counting characters if they showed up in multiple different scenes or had some kind of actual role in the plot

taking this further, the number of girls with an ability are even less. elise is an ability herself, and several girls do not have an ability, such as naomi, haruno, sasaki, aya, and gin. higuchi is unconfirmed to have an ability. teruko and agatha christie have named abilities but unknown details. in the end, that leaves us with a total of ~6 females whose abilities we know of and have played a part in the plot. that is considerably less than all the males in the series, whose abilities we mostly know of- or even if we don't know all of it- the girls are still greatly outnumbered by males present and relevant to the plot. 

now if we are to talk mainly about the girls relevant to the plot, there are so many reasons they should have more attention and recognition. i'm lazy so i'm just going to do them in order of who shows up on the wiki first ️✌️

armed detective agency

yosano is a wonderful character and in my top favorite characters. her personality is based strongly on her real life counterpart, who was an activist and feminist. yosano is a strong female character that has been portrayed correctly in my eyes. she is feminine, yet clearly very tough and assertive in comparison to more submissive characters or female stereotypes. 

she can definitely hold herself in a fight, and has proven to be near invincible due to her strong ability. she doesn't need to rely on it all of the time, which is what makes me like her so much. some characters depend completely on their ability in order to attack, but since yosano's is a healing ability, she is unable to use it to attack. as a result, she is simply a strong and capable character. she is often shown to wield large knives or other sharp objects, and despite her slim body type, she is clearly able to handle heavy weapons with ease and still be agile. many others (males specifically) tend to underestimate her and face the consequences. by either believing she is a weak female, or believing that her ability would be useless in a fight, her enemies end up in trouble when facing her. 

she is the armed detective agency's biggest weapon, with dazai landing in second place. her healing ability allows for any amount of reckless behavior or dangerous fights, because as long as her subjects are still mostly in one piece, she is able to heal them completely as if the injury never occurred in the first place. she even ends up healing her opponents after she beats them- she can bring them to a state of near death and then revive them as many times as she needs to get the information she seeks. she has no problems doing this either, as she is a doctor and is always in the face of injury and death. she knows how her ability operates, so she can stay calm in situations that would cause others to panic or struggle. she is both physically capable and mentally; there is little that can derail her, likely due to her past (vague manga spoilers mention). 

as she already went through the worst of the worst when it comes to having to use her ability, and how she felt about using her ability, she has become strong and overcome her reluctance. she believed her ability to be a curse and that healing others would only bring them unhappiness. when presented with the freedom to choose, to not be forced to use her ability- she became confident and felt okay about using her ability again. as long as her ability wasn't abused like it was in the past, she was able to heal her coworkers without feeling bad about it. in overcoming her fear and unwillingness to use her ability, she became stronger in other aspects too. on top of using her ability in moderation and for good, she stands up for herself and refuses to be dominated or controlled by others. she is a doctor through and through, as she will treat injuries of friends and enemies alike. she is against meaningless death, and believes in equality between men and women.

these are just some examples regarding yosano's strength, which i respect so much. in terms of backstory, she is one of the characters who has shown growth and determination. i won't invalidate the struggles of other characters, but i believe that her progression and character should be more recognized and appreciated. she contributes and helps out more than most people realize. in the series itself, she is a desired ability user because of how useful it is. in the end, yosano chose to align herself with good. she's good to herself, she's good to her coworkers and friends, she's even good to her enemies. and i love her for all of that. 

 next on the list is kyouka. i apologize in advance if this seems a bit scattered; kyouka is not among my top favorites, so i haven't given her a ton of thought beforehand. (aka i am completely winging this)

kyouka as a character deserves better, and while she has shown growth, she has more room for growth still. kyouka was unfortunately pushed into a very sudden and drastic change in her life, and as a result is pretty traumatized and still has to shake off her negative mindset and bad habits. unlikely yosano, she is still very young, and has not had very long to recover from her trauma. she went from living a peaceful and happy life with her parents to being forced into the mafia after watching both of her parents die before her eyes. demon snow, her mother's ability, killed kyouka's mother and then was passed on to kyouka. kyouka could not control her own ability, and was instead forced to become an assassin for the port mafia using her ability. with no control over her ability, and having no desire to kill, it's not surprising that kyouka hated demon snow and the port mafia. upon joining, kyouka was suicidal and begged for akutagawa to kill her. when he refused and instead used her as a tool and treated her like she wasn't human, her view on life changed considerably. she could not view herself as anything more than a killing machine, a mindless and disposable tool for the mafia. upon being treated with kindness, kyouka did not know how to act. she claimed she never left because she had nowhere else to go- other reasons likely included that if she left, she would be considered a traitor and killed, and that she believed that at least in the mafia she had a purpose and use to others, even if it was evil.

kyouka found it necessary to suppress any emotions she had, probably as a coping mechanism for having to commit murder that she didn't really want to commit. she wasn't loyal or invested in the port mafia as a result of her treatment there, so when given the option to leave, she accepted with little resistance. when questioned about things regarding the mafia, she also didn't resist, and ended up willingly offering the information in exchange for food she liked. 

through time spent with atsushi, kyouka has gradually grown from her original thinking and bad actions. in the beginning, she would instinctively use violence or other mafia tactics in order to get what she wanted or to defend herself. atsushi did his best to prevent her from doing that, and since then she has stopped immediately jumping to violence. she still struggles in expression emotions, but as akutagawa also stated, she has improved. she is no longer suicidal or hopeless, and feels like she has more use than just killing. she recognizes herself as a human, and that her worth lies in just her existence instead of what she can accomplish. it's okay if she doesn't use her ability, because the armed detective agency isn't about using abilities or fighting. they solve crimes and sometimes use force, but it is never required. like yosano, she has slowly begun to accept and use her ability. she recognizes that her ability, and herself, are not responsible for the death of her parents or the countless murders she committed. her ability was abused by the mafia, and her ability was given to her by her mother, though she didn't know that at first. after learning that, she has used demon snow in more reasonable situations such as defending herself, causing distractions, and using demon snow to escape situations. she hasn't used demon snow to kill anyone, and the most violent thing she has done is hold someone at knifepoint either with her own knife or with her ability. 

kyouka has grown, though it isn't a sudden extreme change like with dazai and yosano- and she still has some problems she needs to sort out- but she is improving. i tend to not feel for her much because of how little she expresses emotion or opinions, but as soon as she becomes more confident i will appreciate her for more than just being a cute and supportive character. i will always love character growth, and although kyouka hasn't taken big changes regarding emotions, she still has gone far and it deserves recognition. not to mention she is still only 14, but she is doing very well in adjusting to a different life. she didn't deserve any of the bad things that happened to her, so in that i can sympathize. she was not evil by choice like some are, so her decision to completely desert her future in the mafia in exchange for the armed detective agency is wonderful. she is near fearless but protective of those she cares for, and passionate even though it isn't shown well most of the time. 

 port mafia

moving from the armed detective agency to the port mafia, i will begin with higuchi. higuchi is another character i think is considerably misunderstood and underrated. on the surface, yes, she can be seen as obsessive and weird, but she isn't really all of that. i believe that a big part of the hate she gets is due to shipping reasons- she is romantically interested in akutagawa, which can interfere with other ships. as a result, they end up attacking higuchi and pointing out all of the perceived flaws in her relationship with akutagawa.

i do not believe higuchi's behavior to be creepy or bad, actually. to me, she more acts like a teen with a crush. she does not stalk or harass akutagawa, nor has she done anything terrible to him. the hate she gets for crushing on akutagawa is unreasonable to the extreme for me. upon introducing them both, higuchi is shown as being overly eager to assist akutagawa. as she is his direct subordinate and cares about him, it's understandable for her to not want him to be in danger, or simply trying to make his job easier. akutagawa as a person doesn't like help, so he sees higuchi as an annoyance and trouble. he treats her (and kyouka) how he was treated- he's abusive and unnecessarily cruel, though i believe that is also learned behavior from dazai. 

however, despite higuchi's over eagerness to help, she always has the best of intentions. in no way is she trying to inconvenience him or annoy him. she is just doing her job as a mafia member and helping her superior. i cannot understand the faults people find in that. i do not hate people for doing their job, even if their job is evil; it is just what they are required to do, and sometimes you can't fault that. 

her "creepy" tendencies can be narrowed down to stalker-ish and obsessive. it is true that she is interested in akutagawa, but that does not mean that all of her actions are purely from a romantic stance. she cares for him, so it is natural for her to want to protect him. it is understandable for her to be concerned for him- he is not in the best of health, he's reckless, and he refuses help. she wants to avoid him being injured or killed, and not just because she is interested. i believe she also simply respects him as a person, and as her superior. in the mafia, loyalty is a strong tie, and for higuchi, her loyalty isn't 100% rooted in the mafia itself. she is more loyal to akutagawa, but that isn't unusual either. dazai was more loyal to oda, which is why he left for oda's sake. akutagawa is more loyal to dazai than the mafia, so he will respond to dazai's calls and orders. the same can be said for higuchi. 

higuchi may be a bit overprotective, but again, that isn't a bad thing. she saved akutagawa's life when she realized that he was in critical danger and that the mafia would not do anything to save him. she bravely took on the task of raiding the enemies to rescue him while he was incapable of fighting back. she might have died had the black lizard not intervened, but she was willing to risk her life for the person she cared about. she also has implied many times that she does not feel that she is suited for working in the mafia, but she stays anyway because she loves akutagawa. again, that doesn't really pass into obsessive territory. if you are close to someone and love them, of course you would do these things for their sake. of course things with her seem more intense, but that is only because of their job. normally doing something for someone you love is maybe an easy task or errand. in the mafia, it can mean fighting a difficult battle in order to help your loved one(s). this is all circumstantial stuff that feels inadequately thought about. 

regarding her stalker-ish tendencies, i still do not understand where that comes from. the definition of a stalker is "a person who pursues someone obsessively and aggressively to the point of harassment". higuchi does not follow akutagawa around outside of work or harass him. at work, naturally she is with him a lot and doing things for him (it's her job). however, she does not know unnatural things like where he lives or even familial ties. when she passed him on her way home from work, she appeared excited and wondered if she could offer to drive him home. not because she wanted to know where he lived, but simply to do him a favor and potentially increase his feelings for her. she also debated inviting him for tea. to people who think that is weird, i have to think that they have not experienced many normal connections. to coworkers or not very close friends, inviting people out to dinner or for a drink is not uncommon. as it was night, it would make sense for her not to think "i should take him to a cafe" but rather think "i should invite him over for tea". she wanted to drink tea with him, spend time with him, and talk to him. if shops at that time so happened to be closed, it would only make sense to invite them over. i cannot see what is unusual or wrong about that situation. 

when she saw akutagawa meeting with gin, she misunderstood the situation, which again is a forgivable mistake. her thought process was not overly obsessive or weird; at first, she was jealous because she believed gin to be akutagawa's partner. from there, her overprotective side also kicked in- sure, gin could be his girlfriend, but she could also be a spy sent to kill him. not 100% of her malice at gin was because of jealousy, but she was worried for akutagawa too. when she congratulated atsushi on delivering a love letter to gin, it was both out of hope that she would have a chance again, and that akutagawa would be safe if gin was in fact a danger to him. later when she spotted gin, gin was startled and began running. higuchi picked up on her agileness and decided that she was definitely an assassin/danger to akutagawa. she was trying to harm gin, yes, but she did not know it was gin or that she was related to akutagawa. when she later learned that, she was very sweet to gin. she felt no real ill will toward her, but more concern for akutagawa taken a bit too far. i still would not say this is stalker or obsessive tendencies. higuchi is a misunderstood worrywart with a crush. i understand why some people think she is annoying, but at heart she is really just a caring and funny character. she does not deserve the hate she gets, and she also does not get the love and attention she should have. whether or not she "interferes" in your ship, you shouldn't dislike her purely on that and her interest in akutagawa. she is yet another powerful queen and she is trying her best. 

higuchi’s interests aside, she is still a great character. at times she is shown to be unsure of herself or relying on others, but i would say that she is still independent and capable. she does not need others to take care of her; she can handle a weapon fine, and she is brave and selfless in fights. she is not stupid, although her hesitation in some situations can be labeled as that. however, she does not need others approval to make decisions, and she is considered a high rank. i do not know akutagawa’s direct position in the mafia, but if she is serving under him, then she is still above the black lizard. as shown when the squad came to rescue her without her having to order them to, they do have a degree of respect and care for higuchi. she is ranked above them somehow, and that position doesn’t come with ease. they are in the mafia, and i imagine that rising in ranks is difficult. while we don’t know her backstory or how she came into the position she is in now, it should be acknowledged that she did something to get where she is now. 

 kouyou is another one of my favorites. she is a good example of what can be considered a traditional woman while still being powerful and capable on her own. we don't know a ton about her (especially about backstory), but there is plenty of things to appreciate about her. she is loyal, caring, and protective to those she cares for most, notably kyouka and chuuya. kouyou is one of the port mafia’s five executives, and she is another mafia member who worked to get her position. being one of the five executives is second only to the boss of the port mafia. she worked to get into her position, and it is a considerably high rank. mori stated that kouyou is one of the few people strong enough to be able to leave the mafia and live. despite wanting to leave the mafia in the past, she switched her loyalties along the way and now serves the mafia well. 

while golden demon is a strong ability on its own, kouyou is strong in fighting with her own sword. her appearance is deceiving, as she is not portrayed in an overtly threatening way. on the surface, she has no weapons, and her outfit initially gave me the impression that she is the type to refrain from violence or fighting. why would she get blood on her kimono, and how does she fight wearing high heels? (it seems that a lot of female characters fight in heels, which is respectable). however, kouyou is perfectly capable in fighting and defending herself both with her ability and with her own concealed weapon. considering kyouka’s tendencies and style of fighting, she was likely trained as an assassin under kouyou. it can be assumed that kouyou is a good assassin, as she certainly does not appear to be one. 

there is discussion of if kouyou works in a brothel, as her voice actor apparently speaks like one. if this is the case, then it is even more likely that she and her subordinates are trained assassins. there are several things also implying this as her job, which i have no fault with. she is good at what she does if she is one of the five executives. 

while kouyou may be overly negative and cynical, she is not a bad person. in the end, it seems she just wants the best for kyouka. while her idea of what is best is warped, that also cannot be faulted. she is thriving in the mafia, and she directly suffered the consequences of trying to leave. she is trying to prevent the same thing from happening to kyouka. while we can’t necessarily see growth in kouyou due to the lack of scenes with her, it can still be said that she has grown out of her initial plans for kyouka. while she likely still has the same negative mindset, she stopped projecting everything onto kyouka and encouraged kyouka’s freedom and happiness. she recognized that the best for kyouka was not necessarily staying with her, resulting with her letting kyouka go. she grew out of her possessive behavior and bad mindset and changed to do what would help kyouka and make her happy. in the end, she just wants kyouka to be safe and happy, which is a nice motivation considering her aggressive and violent nature toward enemies. 

 elise is going to be a short one due to lack of information and the fact that she is an ability. i do have to say that despite her existence and situation, none of that can really be helped. she is powerful as an ability, and probably is a pretty good cover for a lot of things. she can always be passed off as mori’s daughter, and her young and innocent looks do not give off any impression that she is dangerous or an ability. she has her own personality and opinions, and while they were mostly determined by mori, she is still capable of thinking and acting as she wants. it can’t be said that she is her own person, but she is certainly in charge. so far it does not seem that she is 100% bound to mori’s orders, so she is able to argue and get what she wants. a big portion of why i personally am not a huge fan of elsie is because she is connected to mori. but mori aside, not considering how he acts around her and treats her, i think she’s a good kid. she’s pretty normal considering that she’s an ability, in the mafia, and capable of murdering someone. 

 gin is an absolute darling and i will now tell you why. there is not a ton of canon content of her, so it is understandable that people are not really into her. in the first place, it isn’t clear that she is a girl until a good way through the guild arc. she has no ability, and no definitive backstory or personality. however, that does not mean that she should get so little attention. regarding the mafia, she is very good at her work. she is another assassin, and while her looks can be deceiving, it is also very clear that she is dangerous and deadly. right off the bat she is shown to be sly and fast, and capable of assassinating people very well. being a selective mute, she is very quiet and secretive. not talking means obviously that we cannot deduce her exact thoughts, intentions, and motivations, but based on other things we can guess some things.

to start with, despite her angry exterior, she is a sweet girl. she’s beautiful and considerate, and clearly cares for her brother akutagawa. in the past, she was the one who saved herself and akutagawa from being killed by the mafia. after joining, she rose ranks to be one of the three commanders in the black lizard. outside of work, she is still quiet, but is considerably softer and more expressive than when working. she does not wear a mask to conceal her emotions and reactions, and she is less apprehensive of speaking. she was considerate of katai when he confessed his feelings for her, not treating him in a rude manner at all. 

the thing that stood out to me most about her was how much she thinks about akutagawa. noticing he was stressed about work, in an omake she was shown to have gone around asking other mafia members for things to help him relieve stress. she found problems in each solution offered, and ended up choosing what she thought best. she sat down and had tea with him, which was very sweet and caring of her. she is not always cruel and violent, and her motivations are likely along the lines of her care for her brother and her will to stay alive and in a good position in life. she is not violent for the sake of violence; she is just doing her job and what she is good at. 

(i wrote a different analysis of gin here)

 the guild

to start with discussions of the girls in the guild, lucy maud montgomery is first. she has considerably more content than the others, but that cannot be helped, as she has more screen time than alcott or mitchell. montgomery’s motivations and feelings are pretty open, so i cannot say that she is misunderstood or ignored. she has attention, but i do think that she deserves more (as all the girls do). at least, beyond shipping material, there is more to her character. she has improved since her traumatic past experiences, albeit in a different way than atsushi has. in the beginning, her actions and methods were confusing and not explained. however, she was just another character doing what her job required, and what she required to live happily. to her, she wanted a place to belong, and the guild was that place. when faced with potential loss of her newfound home, naturally she was willing to go to any lengths to stay, including capturing and messing around with the detective agency. montgomery is smart and capable with a strong ability to back her up. her ability, while used for kidnapping, has many other purposes as it later shows. had she initially been on the good side, a lot more people would probably like her. she was purposefully made to look and act intimidating and mean, although that is just a front she puts up. after she can be considered a tsundere, although terms like that annoy me slightly. it is weird to simplify a unique character down to a few shared traits with a stereotype- let’s just say that montgomery is flustered easily and does not know how to deal with her emotions in a positive way. by that i mean that how she acts can be perceived as bad by readers and watchers, though that is not what she is intending to do. i think that montgomery is trying her hardest and while her methods are not the best, she is still a good person who is just trying to get along in life and make close connections to people. 

 margaret mitchell is another character i cannot talk very much about, as she has hardly appeared in the series at all. despite her outwardly narcissistic and snobby personality, i also do not think that she is all bad. her ability, which we have not seen much of, can be decidedly negative. we have not seen a way in which she uses her ability in a positive manner, but as we do know her motivations, i can still say that she is not trying to be a bad person or anything of the sort. her reason for joining the guild and attacking yokohama was to restore her family’s honor. as we know nothing of her backstory, i cannot say why this was so important to her, but it seems to be of noble reasoning at the least. a lot of characters have good intentions or motivation and just a terrible method of execution. mitchell is one of these characters. 

however, even if you were to dislike her purely based on her arrogant and rude attitude, it must be acknowledged that she is not terrible to those on her side. while threatening kajii and akutagawa, she was also shown to be selfless in defending hawthorne using her own body as a shield. now that she is stuck in a coma, hawthorne seems intent on helping and erasing her family’s debt for her, since she is incapable. that implies that she must have some kind of soft and nice side, otherwise i do not think hawthorne would consider her to be his loved one. we only saw her disintegrating his bible and arguing with him. aside from sacrificing herself, she must have done something to earn his affection and loyalty- hawthorne has gone very far in his attempts to save her. 

personally i think the reason a lot of people dislike her is her stuffy attitude combined with her appearance. her complaining of others not working while combined with her wearing an over the top large dress likely contributes to the dislike or indifference i see directed at her. she is very unlikeable on the surface, nor can i say that i like her at this point. 

 and lastly in the guild, i will be talking a lot about louisa alcott. she is the main reason i decided to write this long ass post. alcott is in my opinion, probably the smartest of all of the geniuses in bsd. there are different kinds of smarts, of course, and it is not too hard to sort them. dazai and fyodor lie mainly in tactician. they are wonderful at predicting enemy moves and creating plans. ranpo is also shown to be helpful in that, though his strength lies in solving mysteries and analyzing evidence. dazai is also good at solving mysteries and analyzing. mori is implied to be good at a variety of things- strategizing, logical thinking, effective manipulation, and leading. he is good at making things go his way, and good at doing what is best for his organization, even if that means sacrificing others. in general, there are many intelligent characters, but the “geniuses” tend to be labeled as fyodor, dazai, mori, and ranpo. i have never seen alcott included in that grouping despite her being debatably the best out of all of them. 

it must be noted that alcott’s ability is not the cause of her intelligence. rather, it simply furthers her abilities. i do not think that she would need to rely on her ability to be good at what she does; she is a very thorough tactician, and given extra time, can write out the most ridiculous plans i have seen. it is absurd how much she is able to predict and write about. “Little Women is an ability that allows Louisa to make time pass at 1/8000th of regular speed, but only while thinking alone in a private room.” nowhere does that description list that it furthers her intelligence in some way. from that, we can gather that she indeed can sit in a room for a few minutes or hours, and in real time weeks will pass. she can sit for weeks straight and simply think of and write every possibility. she can list every outcome, every action their enemies might make, all the action plans the guild can go with, and so much more. she can estimate the damage her plans provide, the likelihood of success, and compared to other plans she has written out, whether or not she would recommend it. she is shown to be cautious in her planning, since despite her seemingly ruthless plans, she always directs fitzgerald away from choosing the more dangerous options. that also shows that despite her listing very violent plans, she is against going with them and disagrees with the more violent options she came up with. 

i think it is amazing how much concentration and energy she has. sure, the other geniuses may be able to reason out how their enemies are thinking and doing- but alcott is a different level. she will write packets (multiple!!) of analysis and options. i do not know how much i can stress this. these packets are hundreds of pages, written in a few hours by her. with given information, she can predict up to how other people will react to given situations, and how to manipulate the situation for the best outcome for the guild. she was able to somehow predict the reappearance of kyouka when atsushi was attacked, and how exactly to get away with capturing atsushi while simultaneously eliminating kyouka from doing anything more against the guild. she wrote up to the very specifics how that situation would lay out, and all that fitzgerald needed to do in order to capture atsushi. call the police on them! how did she know the police would be nearby and that atsushi and kyouka would turn to them? hell if i know, but that is amazing as fuck and i don’t think that the others compare in any way to that. 

of course she does have boundaries, such as when chuuya and dazai teamed up against lovecraft and steinbeck in order to retrieve Q. i would say that she could not have planned that given what she knew of their personalities and how they would work together. even if they were past partners, logically it does not seem likely that they would team up, even in a dire situation. but they did, and to top that, chuuya used corruption. that was something that alcott did not plan for, likely due to lack of information she received. otherwise, she was able to take into account so many factors- timing, abilities, personality, and likelihood of events happening- and create functional and effective plans. knowing how Q’s ability works, she thought of a way to cause the most amount of destruction by combining Q and steinbeck’s abilities. personally, i would not have thought of such a method. it is brutal, but it did work out for them. most of the mafia and detective agency were occupied with dealing with Q’s curse rather than pursuing the guild. she had backup plan after backup plan. i believe that they were so detailed and complicated that without an exact copy of all of her writing, dazai and ranpo would not have been able to come up with a plan to counter what she was doing. they are good at guessing what can come next, but attempting to guess all of alcott’s thinking is impossible. to me, she will always surpass the other geniuses in the series, as she is the best of the best considering everything.

if comparing her capabilities to that of others, she covers almost all the bases. in terms of leading, mori is good because he is willing to sacrifice others for the sake of the greater good. alcott made plans that were willing to sacrifice all of yokohama for the benefit of fitzgerald solely. dazai and fyodor are good at guessing how the other will think. i would say that alcott can do the same, though on a much larger scale. given a longer amount of time, the others could likely come up with similar plans, but since they are not alcott, they cannot come up with her predictions that cover almost every base. her ability to slow down time and then sit still for technical weeks at a time thinking of every possibility is amazing. though we have not seen her solve any crimes, i would say that she is still very good at analyzing and using data to her advantage. 

brains and ability aside, i think that alcott is a lovely person. though she has severe social anxiety and is very bad at talking to people, she is very kind and loyal to those she cares about. again, she can be ruthless against her enemies, but who isn’t? when not considering her position as a tactician in the three way organization conflict, she is very good. she wants to do the best she can to help others, and despite her low self esteem, feels confident enough to present her thoughts to those she is comfortable with. unfortunately she only seems comfortable with a small number of people, but she is caring and giving to those few.

i apologize for the long rant on alcott. it feels kind of unorganized and sloppy, but i honestly have no idea how to properly explain my respect and love for this character. she is never talked about or drawn or anything, and she deserves so much more than she gets. once you get past that initial barrier of “she’s too quiet, she’s a pushover, her plans are cruel and violent” you will realize that is not always the case. in reality, when consulted she is able to provide good advice and solutions to problems. she was very against fitzgerald going with her more extreme plans. yes, she thought them up since she thought up every possibility, but she strongly advised against those plans for obvious reasons. 

 the rest of the girls i cannot say much about. aya seems very sweet and justice oriented, and i think i would prefer to see her as an actual character rather than the odd lovechild of dazai and chuuya. chuuya did not even really show up in the manga in that scene…… anyway, i do not know enough about teruko and agatha to talk about them properly. teruko seems overly violent, but i do believe that she is just doing her job, again in a kind of bad way. unfortunately, i do not know anything of gaiden, so i cannot properly discuss tsujimura. however, i have heard that she is a sweet girl, and i would like to read more about her. 

 in conclusion, i don’t feel that the girls in bungou stray dogs are properly appreciated for what they are. sometimes they are misunderstood, sometimes they are ignored, but no matter the case, i think that all the girls in bsd are wonderful. slimy men? yeah fyodor, dazai, and mori. slimy women? there are none. they’re all perfect. they have their faults of course but really, none of them are incredibly evil or anything. for the most part we know their intentions, unlike some of the guys i listed. and often times those intentions are not bad at all, even if they are executed in a bad way. they tend to not rely completely on their ability, unlike a lot of the males in the series. dazai, akutagawa, and atsushi are all good examples of characters who rely heavily on their abilities to do things. in contrast, most of the girls don't rely on their abilities or other people. their abilities help them, of course, but they are plenty capable on their own. some of them don’t even have abilities- higuchi and gin being prime examples- but they are able to fight and be independent. 

please give the girls in bungou stray dogs more care and attention. they are so fucking valid and i love them from the bottom of my heart

also!! i forgot to say but please reblog, dm, comment, whatever the fuck unpopular bsd opinions. i love a good rant™ and i have a lot of thoughts

[queenofnohr]

for the detailed oc meme: 6, 15, 17, 20, 30, 43, 51 and 55. i love your girl btw, i hope she gets everything she's ever wanted!!

Thanks for the ask!!!! I’m so glad people like Fujimi as well :D

Small content warning for question 30; mentions of abuse

6. Headcanon VA 

I haven’t put too much thought into this, but off the top of my head, probably Haruka Tomatsu? She has fantastic range and while none of her roles are definitive Fujimi, I think I can cobble together the general sort of feeling from them. Fujimi’s regular speaking voice, pitch/tonally is probably along the lines of Zero Two (who needs no introduction) or Anjou Naruko from Anohana, with the inflection/acting that Piña Co Lada from Gate (I think?) though when she’s serious/troubled her voice can dip into Piña Co Lada’s range

When she’s channeling Benzaiten, her voice is very much Minamoto no Raikou activating her NP, however.

15. Can they sing? Can they dance?

She can do both due to training she received as a child and in adolescence! She doesn’t so much after joining Ashina, but she’s the kind of diligent person who sets aside time every week/every other week to practice acquired skills so they don’t rust, even if she doesn’t actively use them any more.

17. Can they fight?

Yep! She fights primarily with her naginata, though she has basic training in the sword and archery as well as basic (unarmed) self defense.

20. Clothing/Aesthetic

Fujimi is fun because I get to look at a ton of traditional Japanese bridal wear. Someday I wanna give her a formal iro-uchikake look! But. Yeah. Brides.

30. What was adolescence like?

It was Fucking Awful. Truly, truly fucking awful. Her being a human sacrifice means being offered as a bride to Ashina’s Great Serpent (aka being eaten alive by it), and so it’s, ahem, tradition for the Vessel undergo rigorous training from the time they can retain information to around 15/16 in all manners of things considered necessary for a premium wife to have (and some valued by the village, like the local specialty of weaving/dying clothing). However, because of Tamura occupation of Ashina and the prevention of practicing local rituals therein as well as albino twins not being present for a couple generations, the village couldn’t be properly “cleansed” of their accumulated kegare for a long time, and so she was sent off prematurely to be offered at age 8.

The snake rejects her as a sacrifice, and after days of sitting in her palanquin, starving, and having nowhere else to go, she climbed to the bridge that lays over the Serpent Valley in hopes that someone would notice her - being too afraid to actually walk into the castle town itself. A wealthy - and skeevy - samurai with an estate away from the heart of Ashina ends up picking her up, and her adolescence is spent being little more than a mistreated servant to the estate, with some of her training continuing (music, dance, etc.) for the purposes of eventually pimping her out or selling her off as a high price bride.

43. What pokemon would your character be (if they’re already a pokemon/gijinka tell us what they are, and how that’s affected them)?

An Absol, probably! People tend to regard her as some agent of misfortune/an inauspicious person because of her looks, her origin (which was made public during her trial), and her village’s history even though more than anything she wants to help. The color schemes (generally) match up too.

51. What were some inspirations for your character (people, movies, games)?

I think I’ve briefly mentioned it before with Higurashi (both the Sonezaki thing and Rika’s perceived deal as well as that village in general), the Noppera-bou arc of Mononoke, uhhhhh Bloodborne I guess (but Bloodborne feels like my general aesthetic when corruption/monsters are involved), I guess, weirdly enough the short story by Higuchi Ichiyou titled “Takekurabe” (depending on the translation either “Child’s Play” or “Growing Up” - warning: while not an explicit story by any means the story does deal with heavy themes like prostitution in the Edo period), and...... various Japanese legends.

55. What’s your character’s core trait? What’s their best trait? What’s their worst trait? When happens when these all interact with each other?

Her core trait is devotion, definitely. Which can be good or bad depending on what, exactly, she’s devoted to, but at her core I think she wants to be able to live for something and that “something” being of her own choosing after being told her entire existence is literally to die.

Her best trait is probably... her kindness? Mmmm, I don’t think kindness is the right word, really. She has a knack for reading situations and acting to do what she thinks is best; she sees the Ashina soldiers’ armor falling apart and while she can’t forge armor, she can do things like mend the leather straps/silk cords holding the kozane of dou together; she has a rather political mind that doesn’t serve her very well in a place like Ashina, but she can see that they need to be trading with other domains because Ashina in of itself cant support a lengthy war with its infertile land; she can see when morale is low and will do her best with what she has and take up cooking duty for the day because an army marches on its stomach....... etc. I guess you could say she’s intuitive? But because of that intuition and her willingness to act to make things better means it does transmute to kindness

Her worst trait....... aside from the usual suspects of having little sense of self-worth outside of being a tool forged to eventually break....... I think it’s being too single-minded? She’s at her best when she can allow herself to be clever and see all her options, but she has the bad habit of only seeing one option (and yes, it’s usually the most self-sacrificing) and sticking to her guns because of it.

At her best, she’s a force of nature, not by sheer force alone but because of her cunning and intuitive mind and her dedication to getting a job done no matter what the cost.

At her worst, she commits herself to bad courses of action and severs her own options because she thinks she’s right, and throws herself into this plan in an all or nothing gamble

the last of which leads to her role/path in Sekiro’s main plotline; instead of staying back and maybe trying to forge relationships with Okami, Emma, Kuro, Isshin and trying to think of something that would work, or at the very least staying back to be Ashina’s last line of real defense after Okami kills all their other generals/war plans, she instead fucks off with Genichiro to help him retrieve the Black Mortal Blade because of her complete faith that he can save Ashina

[catfishmaster]

*whispers* Misa ?

Oooh. Difficult. Thanks, bud. 

send me a character & I’ll answer the following about them!

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life 

I wouldn’t say it with so much enthusiasm but yes, I do like Misa, even if I feel as if her potential was wasted. I just generally don’t think about her much tbh. I feel like that’s mostly because my interest in Death Note mostly revolves around the second arc at this point and by then Ohba was basically ignoring her character.

hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang

I don’t find her particularly attractive if I’m being honest, but I can see that she is supposed to be.

hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff

Tough one. I think Slytherin because she’s rather ruthless in pursuing her goals even if her goals are rather unorthodox 

best quality:

She can be sweet at times. And she’s also capable of brilliance when she wants to be, such as the whole Second Kira Broadcast thing as well as her plan to trap Higuchi.

worst quality: 

About all that murder…

ship them with: 

L. It’s kind of a dormant ship at the moment because I haven’t read much good MisaxL content in a while but I really do like them together. 

brotp them with: 

Mogi! Mogi and Misa’s interactions are comedy gold. 

needs to stay away from:

Supernatural notebooks and Light Yagami. 

misc. thoughts: 

God, I don’t know… (I think you can tell why this took so long) I’ve kind of stayed away from the Misa side of the fandom for a while… I will say this, though. Her death was bullshit. Not the concept of her death, no that makes sense. But Ohba didn’t even kill her off screen and have the characters mention it. He just flat out forgot to resolve her character arc. That is one of the only changes from Manga to Anime that I actually approve of. They at least put the implication there. But in the manga? She’s in one panel of the last chapter and then we hear nothing. It’s just… Ohba how did you manage to make such a masterpiece whilst being so shit at writing?

Also I just found out that she was born on Christmas and my sympathy level for her just skyrocketed.

[sickficideas]

never fallen from quite this high || akutagawa & chuuya sickfic

ao3! 2.7k - please refer to the tags and notes in the link for content + warnings! there's quite a bit in this one!

"Akutagawa, do you have a moment?"

Hirotsu doesn't often call him. Even when the Black Lizard have an issue of any kind, Hirotsu can typically resolve it himself. He's a very capable leader, and his many years in the mafia allow Ryuunosuke to put a lot of trust in him.

So he's already on edge about this phone call. Hirotsu would never call him for no reason. He would never call him if it weren't important.

"I do," Ryuunosuke answers. He's in Chuuya's office, high up in the Port Mafia headquarters building, waiting for him to return with some documents. He feels the muscles in his shoulders tense up painfully. He's already sore and in pain after several days of work. "What is it?"

"Gin was badly injured today," Hirotsu starts. He's calm, but his voice is stern.

Ryuunosuke feels dizzy.

Again, this is something Hirotsu would never tell him unless it were serious. Gin is often injured in her line of work, he's aware of that. They're in the same boat, in that regard. But as long as she gets prompt and proper treatment, Ryuunosuke knows he doesn't have to worry. Gin looks after herself, and Hirotsu, Tachihara and Higuchi do as well.

He never has to worry about her. He hates this feeling. He feels as small and pathetic as he did living in the slums.

"A few of our subordinates were responsible for covering for her. Tachihara and I were on opposite ends of the building," Hirotsu explains, and Ryuunosuke leans against the wall. "Her backup is missing, and she was unconscious when I found her. I don't know what happened, but our targets were dangerous and gifted."

"What - what kind of injury, Hirotsu?" he asks, hating just how shaky his voice sounds. It's coming through as anger, he's aware of that, but he would never admit he's terrified. He needs to calm himself down, but he doesn't know how. He didn’t think their targets were going to pose any kind of real threat. He would have gone with them if he was concerned.

"I'm not quite sure. There was a substantial injury to her chest and one on her head. She lost a lot of blood, Akutagawa," Hirotsu tells him. Hirotsu must know that he isn't taking this lightly. He knows it's truly serious. "I'll let you know if I'm given any updates. She’s currently in surgery."

"Thank you," Ryuunosuke murmurs, and soon enough, the line goes dead.

Ryuunosuke realizes can't breathe.

He knows he's having a panic attack, but he's never quite figured out how to stop them, or how to deal with them at all. He doesn't know what to do. This isn't the kind of thing he can just sit back and calm himself down about. Hirotsu didn't say it outright, but the circumstances tell him that this could be life or death. His sister might die. There's nothing to be calm about.

"I told you not to go outside by yourself," Ryuunosuke had chided, several years ago. Gin wouldn’t look him in the eye. She left their shelter in the middle of the night without any of them to back her up, and Ryuunosuke couldn’t understand why. Some of their friends had died doing reckless things like that.

"I can handle myself too," she said quietly, staring at her hands. She's not combative or defensive with her words, she's never been that way. "I want to help us in the same way you do, Ryuu."

She said all of that with a gash in her forearm so deep that bright red blood was still dripping from her arm, pooling in her palm. They had ways to prevent each other from getting hurt like that, and it meant to not go anywhere alone.

He presses a hand to his eyes as his breath shakes.

She's all by herself.

"Akutagawa, I need you to look over this for me. I'm not really…"

Chuuya's voice trails off as he wanders into the office and closes the door behind him, and Ryuunosuke wants nothing more than to leave the room and pretend he was never seen, pretend he was never there, but he knows Chuuya wouldn't rest until he caught him.

"The hell's goin' on with you?" he asks unceremoniously, stopping only a few feet before him.

"Nothing," Ryuunosuke breathes out. barely, trying to somehow gain some composure, but through his mind flashes images of the friends he and Gin grew up with, murdered in cold blood in front of them. He needs to get out, but he can’t move.

He can't lose Gin too. He can't.

He hears the gunshots, the blood, the organ matter spraying from their bullet wounds. He hears the flesh being torn off one of their faces by a rabid dog. He feels the ice-like skin of a friend who died in his sleep from the cold of an unbearable winter, once he wishes he never survived through. All things he'd long forgotten, pushed out of his mind. All things he told himself would never happen to anyone he cared about ever again, and here he is.

The sounds only get louder, muffling everything else. He hears Gin’s sobs after they had found the youngest girl from their group completely mutilated, and Ryuunosuke still sees her. He smells the rotten flesh of the friends they had to wait to bury because of the cold. He hears the incomprehensible muttering of a boy they rescued from being trafficked. Ryuunosuke feels the hands all over him, he hears his own thoughts from back then - whatever they do to me is the price I have to pay to get food for everyone. He hears Gin’s shaky voice asking where he’s been. He thinks he might pass out. The memories on their own are incredibly overwhelming for him, but all at once like this is far too much for him to handle.

He feels himself start to list sideways, but something stops. He doesn't feel anything against him, he doesn't hit anything, but there's a hand on his shoulder gently urging him to sit down, with the help of his gravity ability.

Chuuya's eyes are a piercing shade of blue. Once they're sitting on the floor, it's all Ryuunosuke can look at. Chuuya’s close as he takes his hand back. Ryuunosuke and Gin used to watch the sea in the early mornings, when things were quiet, when they could let their guard down for a few moments - that glittering blue, it's just like that.

"You've gotta tell me what's goin' on. I can't help if I don't know. Don't pass out on me like that," Chuuya tells him with a scoff, but his concern is obvious. Ryuunosuke doesn't want to tell him. He doesn't want to repeat it. He's terrified that saying it out loud will give the universe more reason to make it true, and the panic starts to set in again. If he had any tears left to shed, he's sure his eyes would be flooded with them by now.

What is he supposed to do without his sister?

"Hey. Hey, you're okay," Chuuya tells him, his voice suddenly much softer than before. Ryuunosuke is having trouble breathing, now. He’s quite familiar with the feeling. He tries his best to consciously take normal breaths, but it isn’t working. Someone is screaming in his ear.

Chuuya scoots himself closer to him, the concern and confusion in his eyes only growing. Ryuunosuke brings his knees into his chest and Chuuya lays a hand on one, lowering his head a bit to force some eye contact from Ryuunosuke, but he won’t budge. His stomach churns and twists without much warning and he feels every muscle in his abdomen tense up. He’s so overwhelmed.

"You look like you're about to puke," Chuuya says just before Ryuunosuke brings a hand up to his mouth. He definitely is. Ryuunosuke can barely manage a nod, but Chuuya has already gone with his assumption and stands to fetch the trash bin by his desk, and much to Ryuunosuke’s horror, it’s an effort made too late, because he leans over to the left and chokes up stomach bile without a chance to hold it back, even for a few seconds.

His nausea always sneaks up on him like this, only ever giving him a few seconds to react. All he could manage was that first splatter. He hasn’t eaten a thing today, so he doesn’t have anything left to bring up, even though his stomach is still trying to twist everything out of itself.

It brings him back to reality, for better or for worse. He’s more focused on the fact that he’s just thrown up on the carpet of Chuuya’s office than the horrible memories that were taunting him just moments ago. His face feels hot and his hands are clammy. He wants nothing more than to go curl up and hide somewhere, but there isn’t even room to pretend right here.

He tries to breathe through it. In through his nose and out through his mouth, but all he can manage is a few sputtering coughs and some sharp breaths in. He brings his arms back up to his chest, subconsciously trying to make himself smaller.

“I’m sorry, I - ”

"Don't worry about it. I've seen people puke before. I don't care," Chuuya says, kneeling in front of him, now. Chuuya isn’t the type to lie about things like that, so Ryuunosuke feels a little better about it, but he still feels miserable. His head is swimming in every direction and his stomach hurts, the muscles are pressing up against his stomach and trying to force more out, and he dry heaves into his hand. He wants to lay down. “You’ve gotta breathe, you’re gonna pass out if you keep doing that. Listen to me, alright?”

Chuuya’s hand lands on Akutagawa’s shoulder, and his face is much closer than he expected it to be once he tilts his head up. Chuuya sucks in a breath and holds it for a few seconds, and Ryuunosuke realizes that he’s trying to get him to mirror that. He’s not sure if he can, or if he wants to, but Chuuya isn’t giving him other options.

He struggles the first few times. He’s worried he’s going to throw up again for a few moments there, when his breath shakes and he coughs, but the nausea slowly subsides, the closer he gets to a normal breathing pattern.

“Please don’t leave,” Ryuunosuke had begged her with the little energy he had. It was one of the coldest nights of the year, and Ryuunosuke was so sick he couldn’t move. Gin wanted to go look for food with two of the others in their group, but Ryuunosuke couldn’t bear the thought, in his fevered brain.

“I’m not going anywhere, Ryuu. Don’t worry, okay?”

He’s slowly losing control of his breaths again, and Chuuya reaches forward to squeeze his hand.

“Where are you right now?” Chuuya asks him sternly. Ryuunosuke’s met with those beautiful blue eyes of his again, and he’s pulled out of his memory with Gin.

“Your…your office,” Ryuunosuke manages. He almost forgot, he only remembers because of the vomit on the floor.

“Yeah, that’s right. And what’s today again? I can’t remember,” Chuuya says casually, but Ryuunosuke can still pick apart hints of tension in his voice. He hides it well.

“It’s…December twenty-seventh,” Ryuunosuke mumbles after taking in a deep breath. He shivers when met with the idea that he’ll have to leave the building soon. He really hates the cold.

“Right, right. You got any plans for the New Year?” Chuuya asks him gently. Ryuunosuke shakes his head, he can’t think that far ahead right now. “I’ve got this party I do with my subordinates every year at my place. Lots of drinking, though, I know that’s not really your thing.”

“Not particularly,” Ryuunosuke murmurs. His stomach twists at the thought of alcohol. His voice feels weak and heavy. Chuuya’s grip loosens on his hand and he reaches up to his forehead to lay the back side against it. He frowns, and slides his hand down to his cheek, checking with his palm this time. Ryuunosuke shrinks backward, but Chuuya doesn't care.

"You're warm. Feels like a fever," Chuuya sighs as he pulls his hand back. "How long you been sick for?"

He's always sick, he wants to say, but that's a notion that wouldn't help anyone in this situation. Ryuunosuke doesn't know when he stopped being sick the last time and this time started - he never feels well. But he won't tell Chuuya that. He just shrugs. He’s just glad he can finally breathe again.

"I'm hopin' you just worked yourself up and that's all it is," Chuuya says. "Can you tell me what happened? Did someone hurt you, Akutagawa?"

"My sister’s injured,” Ryuunosuke mumbles, lowering his chin. Chuuya sucks in a breath through his teeth. He must know that Ryuunosuke wouldn’t react like this if it wasn’t serious. He opens his mouth, almost looking like he wants to know what happened, but he stops.

“Do you want to go see her?” Chuuya asks.

“She’s being operated on,” Ryuunosuke says quietly. He needs to trust that they’ll take good care of her.

Chuuya nods. He pauses for a moment, but stands up and offers Ryuunosuke a hand. “You should lay down for a while, then. I have a couch in the other room.”

Ryuunosuke’s first inclination is to refuse that offer. He doesn’t have any right to accept help from Chuuya, not after he’s gone out of his way to help him, not after Ryuunosuke vomited on his floors. He’s embarrassed, but the idea of walking anywhere right now makes him want to pass out.

So Ryuunosuke extends a shaky hand out to Chuuya, and he lifts him from the floor completely effortlessly. Chuuya takes that opportunity to lead him to the adjacent room, not once letting go of his hand.

Ryuunosuke feels his brain spin inside his skull once they walk through the doorway, and he nearly faints as soon as they make it to the couch, but Chuuya doesn’t let it happen. He uses his ability to gently lay him down on the couch, kneeling down with him once his body relaxes. His fingers slide from their grip on Ryuunosuke’s and he lays his hand on Ryuunosuke’s cheek once again with a disapproving sigh, confirming it must in fact be a fever.

Ryuunosuke lays his hand over Chuuya’s, wishing he would keep it there. Chuuya’s hands are usually warm, but right now, they’re just what his fevered skin needs for some relief. A weak, pained groan escapes his throat. He’s lost all of his energy.

“I’ll call Hirotsu and ask him to let me know when she can be seen. Rest 'til then, ‘kay?” Chuuya says gently. "She'll be okay. She's survived this far,"

Ryuunosuke lets his eyes fall shut. He trusts Chuuya. Chuuya wouldn’t lie to him.

…

Two days later, Gin is stable enough to have visitors, and Ryuunosuke’s fever finally breaks.

Ryuunosuke doesn’t remember much past falling asleep on Chuuya’s couch. Chuuya told him he had to bring him to the infirmary at some point because he had become unresponsive, but Ryuunosuke remembers his presence the whole time.

He still has a bit of a temperature, and Chuuya told him to keep the cooling patch on his forehead for a while, but he peels it off before he goes to see Gin. He doesn’t want her to worry about him.

He parts the curtains where the nurses lead him, and the shattered pieces of his heart start to dig and twist into nearby organs. He’s never seen her like this before. She’s surrounded by equipment, lines, and tubing - oxygen, a fluid line, things Ryuunosuke has gotten very familiar with over the years - and things to keep her vitals well monitored. Ryuunosuke hates seeing these things on his sister.

When his eyes finally get the courage to look at her face, the warmth in her smile is enough to release all of the tension in his body. 

"Hi," she says quietly, almost like a squeak. He can tell she hasn’t used her voice in a while.

Ryuunosuke can only let himself cry in front of her.

[fraink5]

For your ask meme, Elliot: 1,5,19,22,35,39,49, and for pain, 50. Also, my underappreciated love, Higuchi: 7,8,19,22,25,29,30,39,45,49, and 50.

Thanks for the ask!

Okay, let’s get this party started!

My boy Elliot:

1. What does their bedroom look like?

Elliot lives in a dorm, so my guess is boring. But, at the Nightray mansion, he probably has shelves of Holy Knight. I imagine his desk is covered in sheet music. Somewhere in his room, he has a display case for his sword and whatever other Nightray memorabilia he has, but it’s basically useless considering he carries his sword with him everywhere.

5. Cleanliness habits (personal, workspace, etc.)

Elliot’s a bit disorganized, but he regularly cleans up, so Leo doesn’t lecture him. He is very serious about hygiene, but not for health reasons; he wants to be super presentable. 

19. What do they think about before falling asleep at night?

Usually, Elliot is thinking of a new melody (always at the worst time). Being very opinionated, he likes to review the fights discussions he was in that day and why he was right. Sometimes, though, he will give consideration to the other side’s argument. Because of his recurring nightmares, he spends more nights than he would like dwelling on the disturbing content of the dream. The possibility of having the nightmare again makes falling asleep very hard for Elliot on those nights (for obvious reasons). 

22. Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen?

When he is in a pleasant mood, he might mindlessly doodle as he tries to think of a new composition; he might even draw a sloppy music staff himself. When he’s feeling contentious, he will reimagine old arguments or plan out arguments that are bound to happen in the future. 

35. What activities do they enjoy, but consider to be a waste of time?

Elliot likes to have lengthy conversations (read: debates) with Oz about Holy Knight and their personal theories. Although he enjoys doing this immensely, when it’s over, part of him always wishes he had spent his time more productively. 

39. What recharges them when they’re feeling drained?

Piano music usually makes Elliot feel better. If not, a heated debate will do the trick (especially if he wins). 

49. If this person were to get into a fist fight, what is their fighting style like?

Elliot thinks he’s good at fighting, but he’s mediocre at best. Break can attest to this in terms of swordfighting, and it’s the same for fist fighting. He doesn’t really have much of a style or strategy because he is usually carried away with his feelings, which is probably the source of his lack of skill. 

50. Is this person afraid of dying? Why or why not?

WHY. Anyway, I think Elliot’s stance on death is an important part of his characterization, so allow me to throw in my two cents. Elliot is not afraid of dying. But, let me clarify, he doesn’t throw himself into danger with no concern for his well-being. In fact, as he bluntly lets Oz know, he’s not at all a fan of that attitude. What I mean is that he doesn’t let death stop him. The possibility of dying doesn’t deter him from acting righteously. Certainly, he doesn’t want to die, but it’s not because he’s afraid; it’s because he wants to keep living. And as we see at the end, if he believes his making the right decision, he won’t run away from death.

That hurt me. Why, Rika, why? And no, I don’t think Elliot is just an angry, contentious boy.

The amazing Higuchi:

7. Favorite way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time

Higuchi likes to waste time looking at trivial things on the internet or flipping through magazines. Usually, after a long period of unproductivity, she probably feels a lot of shame. Sometimes, her sister has to guilt her out of wasting time.

8. Favorite indulgence and feelings surrounding indulging

If this counts as indulging, I imagine Higuchi does a lot of snacking and emotional binge-eating. She also indulges in daydreaming about Akutagawa-senpai and the two of them together. She is usually unabashed about these things until the embarrassment sets in later. 

19. What do they think about before falling asleep at night?

Akutagawa-senpai. Higuchi has a lot of insecurities for which she berates herself, dwelling a long time on mistakes she might have made recently. (Cut yourself some slack, Higuchi).

22. Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen?

Aside from drawing meaning scribbles, she also likes to draw Akutagawa-senpai. She likes to imagine Akutagawa-senpai and herself together as well as everyone, from the Mafia and not, being friendly with each other.

25. How do they see themselves 5 years from today?

Higuchi thinks Mori will probably kill her sooner or later, but she would like to keep working under Akutagawa-senpai, even if she’s not suited for the job.

29. Reaction to sudden extrapersonal disaster (eg The house is on fire! What do they do?)

In a panic, Higuchi probably grabs her guns. After insuring her own safety, she immediately ascertains that Akutagawa-senpai is okay and anyone else with whom she might have been working. 

30. Reaction to sudden intrapersonal disaster (eg close family member suddenly dies)

This kind of news depresses Higuchi immensely. She probably lies in her bed, eating only cup noodles and ice cream for days. Her sister eventually needs to force her out of her room and take charge of her well-being.

39. What recharges them when they’re feeling drained?

I don’t think Higuchi actually recharges. The only thing which can get her motors running again is her sister forcing her. 

45. Superstitions or views on the occult?

Well Higuchi doesn’t actively believe in such things, the stories haunt her for days and never really leave. The possibility that they could exist is frightening to her.

49. If this person were to get into a fist fight, what is their fighting style like?

I can’t imagine HIguchi getting into a fist fight, and I don’t think she can either. She probably doesn’t really have a technique and, instead, desperately throws punches. She’d much rather use her guns. 

50. Is this person afraid of dying? Why or why not?

Despite being in the Mafia, Higuchi is terrified of death, but, determined to prove her worth, she never let’s it stop it. 

Higuchi is all of us.

[sickficideas]

for bsd requests may i propose the idea of some kinda road trip? i think they are such good sickfic content bc they're just trapped in a metal tin can the whole time and there's nothing anyone can do about it

omg absolutely!! thank u for requesting <3<3<3 this got away from me a bit and I also ended up using the rarest of rarepairs lol but I hope it's ok !! i also got another request for bsd road trip sickfic so this is 1/2 hahaha

interruption // tachiaku sickfic

ao3!

Ryuunosuke is really starting to regret this trip.

He's only come along because Gin was so excited about the idea of him coming. She's his weakness. He can never say no to her, not even if it's doing something dreadful like sitting in a car for five and a half hours.

Normally, this isn't an issue. Higuchi drives him places all of the time, but Ryuunosuke is always in the passenger seat. This time, he's given the seat up to Gin so that she can sit with Higuchi up front, who offered to drive them.

Ryuunosuke supposes he never realized until now just how carsick he really gets.

They're chatting about something up front that Ryuunosuke can't focus on at all because of the music. They’ve been driving for about two hours at this point, and the trip is only halfway over. He’s hoping he might get lucky and they’ll stop somewhere so that he can reset for a moment, but he doesn’t want to alert anyone by asking to stop.

"You okay?" Tachihara asks him quietly, as to not alert the girls up front. He’s been quiet most of the drive too aside from quipping into the girls’ conversation, and he’s sat next to Ryuunosuke in the back seat.

He is definitely not okay, but at this point, if he opens his mouth to answer Tachihara, he's certain that vomit will come out before any words do. He's not sure what to do. His head hurts. He feels so sick that he can't focus on anything, and he thinks he might die from embarrassment if he vomits in Higuchi's car, in front of his sister and the guy he may or may not have a massive crush on.

But of course, the universe does not care, and the gag that's forced out of his mouth isn't enough of a warning before he throws up onto the floor mat beneath the seat.

He's mortified. His ears are so hot he thinks they might fall off, and he's shut off everything around him. He knows Tachihara is saying something and he feels his hand on his back, but the words are lost to him. He chokes up another mouthful of vomit and now he's worried about crying too. He never cries in front of people. He can't start doing that while he's also throwing up in the car with all of them.

His arms are wrapped around his middle and he’s doubled over and every other sensation is completely lost to him. He can’t even tell if the car is still moving or not, and his eyes are screwed shut because he’s afraid that looking will make him even more sick, but he’s slightly concerned that opening his eyes will provide him with no sight.

His throat burns so badly and his abdominal muscles are already sore, and he doesn’t feel any better than he did before he threw up. This is such a nightmare. He would rather die than open his eyes right now. Normally he would simply move on and pretend this never happened, but he doesn’t think that’s possible here at all. Not only does he still feel awful, but he’s trapped in this car with nowhere to hide or run off to.

"Hey, hey, can you hear me?" Tachihara says. That's the clearest his voice has been in what feels like at least half an hour. "It's just me. I told the girls to go inside. But they're super worried about you."

Ryuunosuke wants to answer, but he's too scared to open his mouth again. His hands move to cover his face and he’s starting to realize that the car has finally stopped. He isn’t entirely sure what Tachihara means by inside, but he has to assume they’ve stopped somewhere.

Maybe they didn’t notice. That’s a completely delusional thought, but it gets Ryuunosuke to sit up.

"Here, let's get out of the car. You need fresh air," Tachihara says, climbing out of his side to meet Ryuunosuke on the other side.

Ryuunosuke takes his hand. His legs are shaking so much that he can hardly stand on them, and it's making breathing a lot harder, too. He still feels terrible. Never in his life has he been this carsick before, but he doesn’t think he’s ever been in a car for this long, either.

Tachihara doesn’t lead him too far off, just to the hood of the car so he has something to lean on. Ryuunosuke still can’t bear to look at him.

He hears Higuchi’s voice and resists every urge to curl up into Tachihara’s side and pretend he’s not even there, but he has to face the consequences, whether this is something that was completely out of his control or not. Surely there was some way to prevent it.

"Higuchi, I -"

"It's completely fine, I promise," Higuchi says. She’s already completely ahead of him, of course, as always. "I can just throw the floor mat out. It's really not a big deal at all!"

“Are you okay, Ryuu? Do you feel better?” Gin asks, tilting her head in some attempt to get Ryuunosuke to look at her, but he can’t do it. He can feel his face start to get hot again.

“I’m - I’m fine,” he insists, because there’s no other acceptable answer. Clearly, he’s worried her enough.

"C’mon. Let's get you walking around, you'll feel better that way," Tachihara tells him as he takes his wrist and leads him away from the car. “We’ll be back.”

The lights in the gas station are entirely too bright for the headache he’s trying desperately to will away, and the nausea starts to bubble in his throat again. He silently looks around for any sign of a restroom, that way he can at least vomit with some dignity.

He was hoping for privacy too, this time. Ryuunosuke doesn't expect Tachihara to follow him inside, but it must be obvious enough that he's about to vomit again.

He almost collapses completely in front of the toilet but Tachihara manages to keep him upright enough for him to bring up a mouthful of vomit with a weak burp. He’s hardly eaten anything today, but his stomach doesn’t seem to care, it’s simply trying to evacuate any trace of anything to punish him for being in a car for so long. What is he going to do? How is he going to last the rest of the trip? Is he going to feel this sick the entire vacation, too?

"You should've said something. You know Higuchi wouldn't have minded pulling over,” Tachihara tells him. Ryuunosuke has barely registered that he’s knelt beside him with a hand on his back. He really never pegged Tachihara as the type to do this, but he’s sort of glad for it, because it helps, somehow.

He takes a few breaths before he speaks to make sure he's clear to talk without throwing up.

"I didn't want to interrupt them," Ryuunosuke mumbles, gathering a wad of toilet paper to wipe his mouth. His hands are shaking so much that Tachihara has to help him tear it off. "I didn't think…that would happen."

"You looked nauseous to me the whole time, Akutagawa. I'm surprised you even got that far," Tachihara sighs.

Ryuunosuke's shoulders sink. He didn’t think it was that obvious, but apparently, most times he thinks he's hiding any condition of his from these three, they all already know.

He thinks he's okay, now, but he doesn't want to stand up. He decides to sit against the wall beside Tachihara. It's nice to just have solid ground beneath him for a while, not having to worry about moving or walking around.

"I'm sorry for the trouble I've caused," Ryuunosuke tells him. He's not sure how he can repay him for this help. Ryuunosuke doubts he would be anywhere near as helpful if their places were switched. He really is grateful, but he feels equally as guilty.

"It's seriously nothing. I'm sorry you're the one who's gotta feel like shit," Tachihara tells him. Ryuunosuke's getting sort of distracted by his eyes. Tachihara says something to him again, but he doesn't hear it, he's lost for a handful of seconds. He's only taken out of it because he feels Tachihara's hand on his forehead. "You don't feel all that warm, you okay?"

"Ah - I'm sorry," he stammers, embarrassed as he turns his head away, "I supposed I'm just out of it…"

Tachihara seems to want to say something, but he's interrupted by a buzzing in his pocket.

"Hold on. Higuchi's calling me," he says, answering the call. Ryuunosuke hears the woman's distressed voice but he can't catch what she's saying. "Oh, sorry. We're in the bathroom,"

"Suspicious," she says, Ryuunosuke catches that much, and his ears start to feel hot again.

"Okay, hey, no. We'll be out in a second," Tachihara grumbles before hanging up. He stands up and offers a hand to Ryuunosuke. "I'll help you up, you're still not super steady."

Ryuunosuke turns his head but takes the hand and Tachihara helps him off of the floor. It's sort of dizzying, maybe he should have taken it slower, but Tachihara takes his arm to steady him.

"You okay, Akutagawa?" he asks, uncomfortably close to Ryuunosuke's face. He just nods and turns his head away, hoping that Tachihara won't notice how red his face must be.

Tachihara says he'll buy them some waters and orders Ryuunosuke to go back outside and get some fresh air, which he certainly doesn't have any objections to. He doesn't entirely remember where they parked, but he spots Gin and Higuchi leaning on the hood of her car. They're giggling about something. Ryuunosuke's glad he didn't ruin their time entirely. He wishes they would just pretend nothing happened, but they've never been the type to do that.

Gin takes notice of him first as he approaches the car, and any bit of a smile that was on her face before is wiped off. She looks so concerned. Ryuunosuke wishes he could wipe her memory.

“I’m sorry,” Ryuunosuke manages to say as he turns his eyes away.

"No apologizing," she insists.

"It's really not a problem," Higuchi chimes in. Ryuunosuke's grateful she feels that way, but he's not quite sure he can agree.

"I found this inside. You should take one," Gin says as she hands him something from her jacket pocket. It's a medication labeled for motion sickness. "We'll wait half an hour so it has some time to work."

"Oh…thank you, Gin," he says quietly. He didn't even know this was a thing.

"I don't remember you going to the register," Higuchi says, sounding rather suspicious.

Gin doesn't say anything, but her silence heavily implies she stuffed it into her sleeve and slipped out.

"You're so scary. There's so many cameras in there," Higuchi groans, but of course, Gin is a professional shoplifter. She doesn't even bother to address the accusation, she takes the sheet that Ryuunosuke is struggling to open and pops out one of the tablets for him.

"We don't have to wait. I don't want to be the reason we're late for something," Ryuunosuke says after he swallows the tablet. He doesn’t think he’s quite ready for it yet, honestly, but he feels guilty holding everyone up. Besides, he’s almost certain he has nothing left in his stomach to bring up, anyway.

"We didn’t plan anything today because of the drive,” Higuchi assures him. Ryuunosuke realizes they won’t let him feel guilty no matter what.

Tachihara appears with a few water bottles and hands them off to the group. Ryuunosuke gingerly takes it. He’s not sure he really wants to drink any, but Tachihara takes it from him to open the cap and hand it back, giving him no choice.

They loiter in front of the car for a while, and Ryuunosuke ends up sitting on the pavement to lean against the front of the car while the three of them talk. He feels better, he thinks, but his body aches and there’s a dull throb in the back of his head. The cool evening breeze eases it just enough to where it’s not causing too much of a problem. He’s starting to get tired.

"Do you feel better? Your color's starting to come back," Gin notices, suddenly knelt down in front of him. He hasn’t paid much attention to the time passing, but the half-hour Gin mentioned must be up already.

Ryuunosuke simply nods.

“Okay. Please tell me if you’re not feeling good, okay? Tug on my sleeve or something. Or text me, I’ll keep my phone on,” Gin tells him. Ryuunosuke really feels terrible for how much he’s worried her. “You can sit up front instead.”

“No - no, it’s fine,” he insists. “I’ll try to rest in the back. I’m starting to feel tired.”

Gin pouts. “Are you sure?”

Ryuunosuke nods again, and Gin helps him off of the ground. 

He climbs back into the seat he was in before and finds that the floor mat really is gone. He tries to ignore the thought as much as possible because his brain is trying to convince him he’s nauseous again at the memory of how he threw up earlier. He needs to focus on something else. He needs to try to sleep, if he can -

"You can lay down, if you want to," Tachihara says. Higuchi’s turned the car on and Gin is getting something out of the back, and she calls her over. So now it’s just them, for a few seconds.

Ryuunosuke isn't sure he can even do that without getting in Tachihara's way. There's not much room in the back, unless he lays his head in Tachihara’s lap. That’s not what he’s implying, is it?

“Are you - “

Tachihara’s hand snakes behind Ryuunosuke’s head and gently lowers him down so that his head lays in his lap, and it’s not much different from finally lying in bed after a needlessly long day - he feels relaxed. Safe.

"Thank you," Ryuunosuke says quietly. He's already starting to feel tired. He's not sure if he's just exhausted from his whole ordeal, or if it has something to do with the way Tachihara rakes his fingers through Ryuunosuke's hair - he's going to pretend he doesn't feel a certain way about that.

Ryuunosuke manages to fall asleep before Higuchi even pulls the car out of the parking lot.

"He has a huge crush on you," Ryuunosuke hears Gin say in a moment where his brain briefly wakes him back up. "And you better be nice to him. He's going to be embarrassed about this for the rest of his life."

"Have I not been nice to him? Ugh," Tachihara says. Ryuunosuke isn’t sure how much time has passed, but Tachihara’s hand is still on his head, patting it every now and then. He tunes out the conversation as it continues and manages to fall asleep again, hoping he imagined Gin telling Tachihara his secret.

[sskk-ao3feed]

Empty Beauties and Sweet Nothings

by archerwrites

Another shock to his system. Chuuya felt his spine go rigid as he began to catch on. Why Mori brought him here, why he brought just him.

Apparently, Mori saw the understanding dawn on his face, because his smile widened and he spoke again. “I want you to join Port Mafia Modeling, Chuuya.”

Chuuya Nakahara is a street rat nobody until he's scouted by the Port Mafia Modeling agency, and suddenly his life is turned into a whirlwind of glitz and glam that he isn't sure how to handle.

But, for better or worse (though Chuuya would insist it was for the worst), a cheery photographer with a (literal) death wish floats into his life and their worlds turn upside down five times over.

Words: 6399, Chapters: 2/27, Language: English

Series: Part 1 of Double Black

Fandoms: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Yosano Akiko (Bungou Stray Dogs), Edogawa Ranpo (Bungou Stray Dogs), Kunikida Doppo (Bungou Stray Dogs), Tanizaki Junichirou (Bungou Stray Dogs), Tanizaki Naomi, Miyazawa Kenji (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Akutagawa Ryuunosuke (Bungou Stray Dogs), Akutagawa Gin, Edgar Allan Poe (Bungou Stray Dogs), Ozaki Kouyou (Bungou Stray Dogs), Tachihara Michizou (Bungou Stray Dogs), Higuchi Ichiyou (Bungou Stray Dogs), Mori Ougai (Bungou Stray Dogs), Fukuzawa Yukichi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Armed Detective Agency Ensemble (Bungou Stray Dogs), Port Mafia Ensemble (Bungou Stray Dogs), Armed Detective Agency and Port Mafia Ensembles (Bungou Stray Dogs)

Relationships: Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu & Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Akutagawa Ryuunosuke/Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Edogawa Ranpo/Edgar Allan Poe (Bungou Stray Dogs), Edogawa Ranpo & Yosano Akiko (Bungou Stray Dogs)

Additional Tags: Fluff, Angst, Fluff and Angst, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Hurt/Comfort, Dazai-Typical Suicide Mentions (Bungou Stray Dogs), Alternate Universe - No Powers, Model Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Photographer Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu is a Mess (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakahara Chuuya is a Mess (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu is Bad at Feelings (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakahara Chuuya Is So Done (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakahara Chuuya is So Done with Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakahara Chuuya is Bad at Feelings (Bungou Stray Dogs), Soukoku | Double Black (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakahara Chuuya Needs a Hug (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu is a Little Shit (Bungou Stray Dogs), No Ability AU, rating for language and sad stuff, Minor Ozaki Kouyou/Yosano Akiko (Bungou Stray Dogs), i love my lesbians, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, soukoku doesn't do feelings, imma be honest me either, the bsd fandom needs tissues and therapy, THERE ARE SO MANY TAGS IM SORRY, no beta we die like men

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/41547786