#i NEED to see what all the character art will look like
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So, the other night in an effort to show a friend that LLMs can produce very credible fiction and relatively inventive ideas, I played with ChatGPT for about 10 minutes I was able to make my point flawlessly. Don't get up my ass about this, that's juvenile.
ChatGPT has watched enough Dropout to be able to reasonably (and genuinely amusingly) impersonate Brennan Lee Mulligan and, to a lesser extent, Sam Reich. It's successfully produced a script for Game Changer where the show was entirely about cats and Brennan couldn't win, and parts of it were actually funny. It also produced an AITA post from the point of view of Brennan Lee Mulligan AS DM OF DIMENSION 20 that was in places absolutely hilarious.
It is able to very successfully postulate a set of G1 my little ponies that do not actually exist, complete with colors, cutie marks, and back card stories. It had a little trouble with G1 versus G4 due to the sheer glut of content, but its ideas were genuinely appealing because the source material it was drawing on was designed to be appealing.
It generated a list of birthday party themes that would terrify an arachnophobe, two or three of which were really good. A request for it to generate a list of queer pride birthday ideas didn't produce anything particularly original, but it was all appropriate and convincing.
It produced a short script where Johnny Sims from the Magnus archives receives birthday gifts from his coworkers, and one of those was a knife-wielding tentacle. This script was in places a little less sharp than the actual writing, but it absolutely nailed the speech patterns, and each gift was appropriate to the character giving it. It was genuinely funny. In places it was clever. It actually made me laugh.
I have most of these saved if anybody wants to see them instead of playing with it themselves.
It really isn't a question of what has been dumped into the data set. We can just assume it has been dumped in there somehow.
We can't undo what has been done and we're never going to be able to name all of the people whose work has been used to train these datasets.
I have both positive and negative feelings, strong ones on both sides, about this technology. If someone wants to use this technology to create a script for a movie in the Predator franchise, or a sequel to their favorite book, or whatever, that is a neutral act. Profiting from that is highly questionable, passing it off as the real thing is completely indefensible, using this technology to replace writers and artists and real people doing ANY work where there is no benefit to humans (like identifying cancer cells -- "AI" does that) is the second worst thing that can be done with it.
That's what worries me about this. It could produce infinite Simpsons episodes without the need for a single writer. Eventually it will be able to animate them so accurately you could ask it to make it look like it had been recorded on a video cassette and it would be completely convincing. It would be able to imitate the voice actors perfectly.
We do not want corporations to have that power. Worker protections are critical. It isn't that AI produces art that is bad or soulless or whatever. Those are completely spurious arguments and irrelevant to any true discussion of whether or not it is ethical.
What matter is is that we keep this shit out of the hands people who want to delete us from the workforce. They aren't going to delete the data. We need to protect workers.
P.S. Artists, Disney and Adobe do not have your best interests at heart. Copyright issues are more complicated than they are being presented, and if you find yourself on the side of one of these companies in any capacity, re-examine literally everything you think immediately. Unions. You want unions.
For reference, because I think it's really important to bring this up as often as possible, the worst application of this technology I can think of would be deliberately or accidentally misapplying data that could be used to affect things like a person's medical care, criminal record, and credit score, all of which are actually currently things that a single company can do, APPRISS, now owned by Equifax, yes that Equifax, and fucking nobody, none of y'all, are freaking out about that even though it's the single most frightening thing I have seen in 20 years. I cannot overstate its potential to utterly destroy the lives of literally anyone who comes into contact with the system that uses it, and those are unbelievably common. They are currently selling their product to law enforcement so that cops and businesses can use it to predict who will engage in criminal behavior, I'm literally not kidding about that, they come right out and say it. It is being trained on existing data and refined constantly.
Enjoy breaking your leg and needing painkillers, which get you flagged in a medical database that will try to prevent you from accessing them in the future (already happening), and also entering you into a law enforcement database that knows you have taken them. Then add in whatever eldritch fuckery bringing credit bureaus into it would cause.
We aren't fucked, I'm not a doomer who insists that all people are terrible and that we have no future and we might as well let things burn, I do actually care about the world we live in and the people who populate it and I consider humans a delight rather than a plague, but we need to start seriously resisting the use of this shit by entities more powerful than us. They are already way ahead.
“I can now say with absolute confidence that many AI systems have been trained on TV and film writers’ work. Not just on The Godfather and Alf, but on more than 53,000 other movies and 85,000 other TV episodes: Dialogue from all of it is included in an AI-training data set that has been used by Apple, Anthropic, Meta, Nvidia, Salesforce, Bloomberg, and other companies. I recently downloaded this data set, which I saw referenced in papers about the development of various large language models (or LLMs). It includes writing from every film nominated for Best Picture from 1950 to 2016, at least 616 episodes of The Simpsons, 170 episodes of Seinfeld, 45 episodes of Twin Peaks, and every episode of The Wire, The Sopranos, and Breaking Bad.”
😡
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LONG LOST MCR INTERVIEW!!!! RARE!!!!! '06
Interviewer: *laughing* "Alright, welcome to this very candid interview with Frank Iero and Gerard Way. Guys, thank you for joining us today!"
**Frank Iero:** "Yeah, no problem! Always a pleasure to be here."
**Gerard Way:** *eyes glued to iPad screen* "Mm-hmm, sure." *quiet chuckle*
**Interviewer:** *glances at Gerard, then back to Frank* "So Frank, we hear you've developed a bit of an admiration for someone—or, um, something—called 'Hawk Tuah Girl'? Care to explain?"
**Frank Iero:** *grinning* "Oh, yeah, Hawk Tuah Girl. She's honestly been on my mind a lot lately. I know it sounds a little random, but there's something about her that's so... powerful, you know? She’s like, this unfiltered force of nature, just breaking through expectations and being unapologetically herself. I love that. I mean, we could all use a little more of that energy."
**Gerard Way:** *barely looking up from his iPad* "Yeah, but does Hawk Tuah Girl ever, like... flush toilets or something?" *snickers to himself*
**Interviewer:** *laughs nervously* "Uhh, Gerard, not exactly the direction I was thinking we were going in, but, Frank, back to Hawk Tuah Girl—what is it about her that stands out to you?"
**Frank Iero:** "Right, right. So, Hawk Tuah Girl, for me, she represents this kind of freedom—like, the freedom to just exist and be a little weird, without needing validation from anyone else. It’s a vibe. A vibe I’m very much here for. Like, if I was ever stuck in a bad place, I think I could look to her as a reminder that being yourself is enough."
**Gerard Way:** *snorts and glances over at Frank* "So, basically, she’s your spirit animal now?"
**Frank Iero:** *laughs* "Yeah, I guess you could say that. She’s like my punk rock superhero."
**Gerard Way:** *muttering under his breath* "I need a superhero who knows how to hit the 'skip' button on Skibidi Toilet."
**Interviewer:** *laughing* "Gerard, are you... watching *Skibidi Toilet* right now?"
**Gerard Way:** *holds up iPad, showing a clip from *Skibidi Toilet* where a dancing character is wildly out of sync with the music* "Uh, yeah. It’s... art."
**Frank Iero:** *grins mischievously* "See, Gerard's whole thing is balancing deep, introspective moments with... *Skibidi Toilet*."
**Gerard Way:** *shrugs* "It’s a balance. You can’t take yourself too seriously all the time, right? Gotta laugh at the weird stuff."
**Interviewer:** *laughing* "Fair enough! So, Frank, it’s safe to say that Hawk Tuah Girl brings a lot of meaning into your life. Would you say she’s changed your perspective on your own art?"
**Frank Iero:** "Oh, definitely. I think, just like her, I’ve been learning to embrace the messiness, the weirdness. The world doesn’t need another ‘perfect’ version of anything. It needs something that feels real. And Hawk Tuah Girl, man, she’s real. She’s like a reminder to just... make noise and have fun while doing it."
**Gerard Way:** *nodding sagely* "Yeah, and *Skibidi Toilet* reminds me that anything can be art if you believe in it hard enough." *pauses* "Also, I think I might need more toilet humor in my life after this interview."
**Interviewer:** *laughing* "Well, there you have it, folks. Frank Iero finds inspiration in Hawk Tuah Girl, and Gerard... well, Gerard is watching *Skibidi Toilet*. Thank you both for such a delightful and slightly chaotic chat today."
**Frank Iero:** "Anytime. But seriously, if you haven’t checked out Hawk Tuah Girl, you need to. It’s a vibe."
**Gerard Way:** *still transfixed by his iPad* "Yeah... it’s all about the vibe." *mutters* "I’m not skipping this one."
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Why Season 2 Of Arcane Felt A Little Off
Let me preface this by saying I adore this show, and I loved this season. I laughed, I cried, and I had a good time watching it. The art direction and animation is a masterpiece. This is probably my favorite show, but I think it's good to critique the things you love and this entire season I felt like I was waiting for something.
For a show titled Arcane, season one had remarkably little to do with the arcane. Yes, there was Hextech and magic, but the show was centered on this class divide between Piltover and Zaun and all the conflicts that stem from this. The very first scene of the show is enforcers killing citizens on the bridge, with Powder and Vi finding their dead parents' bodies. Zilco's reasoning for doing anything he did was because he believed he was helping Zaun, including raising Jinx the way he did. Vi was so passionate about her city and the injustice facing it. Caitlyn witnessing this injustice is what causes her to question the systems she is a part of. Viktor and Jayce (but especially Viktor) created technology with the intention of wanting to improve life for the undercity. Ekko is a revolutionary doing so much to give his people a community and a chance to live their lives. My point is literally every single character is connected by this conflict between the cities.
Now let's take a look at the second season. Where is this part of the story that was so essential to the first season? There's a brief revolutionary beat with Jinx and her followers but once they escape from prison, the show moves on from this and never touches it again. We see Caitlyn's descent into corrupt madness, becoming everything she and Vi wanted to stop. Eventually she realizes how wrong she was but do we see her make any reparations to Zaun specifically for the damage she caused? She gassed the city, poisoning the air even further (with gas that has been confirmed to make people sick in the long run), harming hundreds of innocent people. And Vi, a character so vehemently against enforcers in the first season, goes along with this for how long? Days? Weeks? And only stops when she can visually see the impact of Caitlyn's madness as she almost kills a child in front of her. These characters are flawed and I love that, but we see them get their happy ending without ever truly addressing or helping with what they did to Zaun.
Ekko sees an alternate universe of everything his city could be, everything they all wanted so badly in the first season. Equality, safety, education, food security, and more. He says he is thankful for the reminder and I fully believe he will go forth with this vision in mind, but do we ever see it? And that right there is the problem. We don't know what happens to Zaun in the end, we don't know if things get better. All we see is Sevika on the council but we don't know if that will fix anything since people have stood up for the undercity in council before and it did nothing.
I want to see Ekko rally his people and repair the damage caused by the war. I want to see Vi open up the last drop and make it what it was always meant to be, a place of community. I want to see schools open in the undercity in honor of Viktor and Jayce. I want to see the two cities heal from the damage done to each other. Fuck it, I just want literally any closure on this plotline! Just tack on a 2 minute montage of what happened to this city after the war and I'd feel a little better. But instead this part of the story was completely sidelined throughout the season and ignored entirely in the finale. I'm not someone that thinks every story needs to have a moral, but this show was trying to tell us something! The first season was screaming from the rooftops to beware of privilege, beware systemic oppression, to fight inequality, and I find it really sad that there was no conclusion for that.
I do wish there had been three seasons to give it a smoother transition form politics to magic but it is what it is. Nothing is perfect. This season gave me so much including the best depiction of soulmates I've ever seen in my life so you win some you lose some ig.
#not trying to bring any hate to the show just sort of thinking thoughts#i rewatched season one to make sure i wasn't hallucinating how important this stuff was#not much to be done about it now tho#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane spoilers#league of legends#arcane thoughts#vi arcane#jinx arcane#ekko arcane#jayce talis#viktor arcane#caitlyn kiramman
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You have such an incredible grasp on anatomy and perspective... Are these skills self taught? :0
Weeeeehhh thank you that means a lot ;_; I am indeed self-taught, and honestly it's because of all the fan art I drew LOL drawing fan art and making fan-comics is genuinely the thing helps me improve the most. Two decades of absorbing comics/mangas, animation, videogames, and being inspired by artists I looked up to. I was also obsessed with artbooks about character design when I was younger so I learned a lot from reading and researching. Half the time idk what I'm doing but i just go with it until i'm happy with it.
Experimenting with styles is also really important to me. It was a lot of figuring out what I liked in different type of media I consumed and figuring out “how do I do that? I need to try that” and learning organically that way.
References will always be your friend, too. It was a lot easier before the AI dump, but if you can manage to filter out that crap and look up genuine photos of people or locations or things you want to draw, it's always to your benefit. Taking photos of yourself/a friend and using those to help with anatomy/perspective/foreshortening is extremely useful too. the more you do it, the more you can see patterns and it'll gradually become muscle memory.
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Konrad with reader is like one of those dangerous or atleast extremly angry wild animals with babies. I don't mean the trope of heroically protecting them from a legimate danger (though he abseloutly would). I mean the pissed off pair of swans making the local lake unusable from attacking random passerby. The moose with her calf crossing the street in front of someone who is standing very, very still. The exact feeling of "Oh fuck it has babies. Run. Run RUN". The video of a bunch of, I think silverback, gorillas crossing a road infront of the camara men. The pack including the alpha male and a bunch of babies. (I know fuck all about gorrilas, they might not actually have alphas.)
It's so "animal" but I desperatly need someone seeing Konrad crossing his road with his little family with a simmilar vibe. semi related I was at once going to write a short (tumblr ask length short) story about someone catching the nighthaunter hunting animals near their proportity then collecting plant matter and wondering wtf he is doing with the "twist" being that he is just providing for his waifu.
My parents once told me they used to have pair of large parekeets/parrots (not tame, aviary birds) where the female was missing an eye and the male became satan incarnate because of it, that, is Konrad Curze. Only that is with his partner not his child. May the emperor save you if the reader is pregnant, actually I think any human servant on the nightfall would just rather willingly be his legions murder toy than risk being in the same room with her then.
Meanwhile while all of this nonsense is going on the reader is just a ray of sunshine :3 happily trotting along with him :3, sitting in his lap during meetings, holding his hand while he snarls at passerby like an epileptic chihuahua on steriods, etc.
-🟩
Konrad is animal coded, more so than most Primarchs. I mean, look at his canon art, he's got pitch-black eyes and sharp teeth. At the end of the day, what is Konrad but a very angry bird? Or an opossum, crossing the road with his opossum partner(s) and children?
I LOVE Sunshine x Konrad-esque character pairings. Give that man a sunshine wivesband STAT.
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The Door You Don’t Knock On
I feel like writing down the fic idea that spawned from talking with @caffeine-at-3am on Discord.
It began with a door.
A strange and curious wooden door appeared misplaced in the apartment.
It had faded yellow paint cracked, fraying edges. Parts of the wood were chipped, fragments spread across the floor. The inviting golden bronze handle gleamed in the room's incandescent light with a warm glow.
The child with black unruly hair and shining blue curious eyes gazed at the door in the wardrobe. It was tall enough for a child to open. Faint spirals were etched in the wood's grain, different from the long vertical lines he was used to seeing.
He tilted his head to the side as he brushed aside the hangers of red sweaters, white shirts, and similar shades of jeans. He hesitated but curiosity won over as he felt the spiral patterns etched onto the wooden surface.
Billy Batson, a normal seven-year-old boy, found himself with a trivial issue. Fawcett City was already a strange place—a city so full of magic and topsy-turvy Wonderland rules, 1940s art Deco, and buildings that defied gravity.
As his sky blue eyes focused on the handle, his hands moved unconsciously towards it. A quick, sharp jerk of his head and he pulled himself back. He moved the hangers back to their original position and closed the door. Darkness enclosed the small yellow door, coated with harsh rejection.
So, a yellow door stalking a young kid wasn't out of the ordinary.
It materialized out of nowhere or perhaps everywhere. In everything. Apparently, many things can count as a 'door,' from what Billy discovered.
As he walked from his home to WHIZ radio for his shift, he saw the overpass he usually walks beneath take on an off cream color. The boy let out an irritated groan before taking the long way to work. Mr. Morris was very kind and understanding. After all, the way to work varies every day due to the eccentricities of the city. Mr. Morris said it gave Fawcett a unique kind of character.
He woke up one morning and went to the restroom to do his morning ritual. His eyes narrowed at the cap of his toothpaste which was a dark chartreuse color. With a sigh, he opened a new tube remarking what a waste as he tossed the previous cylinder.
The Door took other forms as well—e-mails, cup lids, welcome mats, crossing signals, and Broadway openings. He wanted to watch the Beetlejuice musical. However, he couldn't even stay since the maroon stage curtains changed into washed-out, sickly lemon-colored curtains during the opening act.
Billy could handle adversity. He had dealt with the death of his parents, living with Ebenezer, and being a homeless part-time superhero, but this?
This was torture.
The boy could endure outrageous nonsensical rules and avoid eerie traps every day if he needs to. Billy draws the line at being unable to watch a musical he saved up with his meager pay. He only heard the audience's screams and laughs as he gave the curtains a stink eye.
Fine.
Two can play at that game.
Billy goes home with a stop for groceries. It takes him a while to head home because he took the long way for certain stalker reasons.
In the morning, Billy avoided opening the wrong packet of flour, clearly the gold trim was the mimic here. It was like playing the world's worst game of Spot the Difference except every scene was a waking nightmare of a Hidden Object game.
He had a plan.
Finally, the child had finished preparing and plating. There were strawberry shortcake scones with a light dash of powdered sugar, shortbread cookies with a chocolate drizzle, and freshly brewed oolong tea with a porcelain teapot set.
Tawky Tawny had told him that the best way to come to a compromise is when you negotiate with a meal.
He cleared his closet looking for that nauseous underripe citrus shade of a door and... Yup, there it was. With a disarming smile, Billy Batson knocked on the door three times and waited.
There was silence and only the faint trail of steam flowing into the air from the spout. Gradually, the handle turned, a cacophonous creak of nails against the chalkboard as the door slid open.
Fingers, if it could even be called that, splayed and curled and twisted as a voice croaked out on a saccharine, static-filled voice, "why don't we have tea inside?"
Billy could make out shapes and fractals converging and diverging at the same and different times. Angles sharp enough to hurt then rounded and curled to offer a false sense of comfort. The eyes ever changing revealed the truth, though. Hunger, a meal, and a trap.
"Why not." Billy stated with a cordial smile while carrying the large tray, stepping over the boundary. Behind him, the door creaked shut and the monster grinned with unspooling lips lined with jagged glass teeth.
(1/2)
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Naive - L.C
💡Who: Lee Chan (Seventeen) x female reader 💡What: Best friends to ??? Angst. Thriller. Soft moments. Dark themes (please check warnings). 18+ 💡Word count: 11.5k 💡Warnings: Profanity. Stalking. Nonconsensual voyeurism. Nonconsensual photos. Cheating. Major injury (Not Chan or reader). Mentions of a car accident. Mentions of sexual harassment. Mentions of panic attacks and almost panic attacks. No smut, but suggestive content, some dirty talk and mentions of sexual acts. Very morally dark character. Drugging. Kidnapping. Restraints. Chan calls reader angel a lot (mostly because I don’t wanna use y/n), and baby in the second half.
Summary: Breakups are always painful, but at least you have your best friend by your side to make everything better. Right?
Minors do NOT interact, which means reblogging and/or commenting on this story. I WILL block any account that interacts without an age indicator in their bio.
-2024 Masterlist-
A/N- I know nothing about flower meanings, it all came straight from Wikipedia so don't blame me for inaccurate meanings, it's just a fic.
“It’s okay, he’s in the past, he’s not worth your tears,” your best friend soothes as you cry into his chest for the third night in a row.
“I-I should’ve li-listened to you,” you sob, gripping his t-shirt tighter and curling up smaller.
“It doesn’t matter now; what matters is you ended it and never have to deal with that asshole again.”
“A-asshole is too kind.”
Chan chuckles and tilts his head against the top of your head yet says nothing more and simply continues to hold you until you run out of tears for your cheating, pervert of an ex-boyfriend. Proving once again that Lee Chan is the only man you can ever trust to be good and honest.
Over a year ago, you met Lee Chan while in the gardening section of the bookstore. It was a cliché romcom moment where you both reached for the same book and your hands met before your eyes did. He smiled at you with a soft little chuckle and said something like “guess we both want to know what Victorian people thought flowers meant”, which somehow led to you both buying a copy of the book on the Victorian language of flowers to take to the nearby coffee shop with the intention of reading side by side. Though very little reading happened, and you found yourself sitting there with Chan for hours; laughing and talking as if you’ve known one another for years. It was like he was made to be the other half of you, designed with only you in mind.
At first, you thought maybe it was true; that Chan was your romantic soulmate. But you were seeing someone else at the time and pushed the thought of Chan being anything but platonic entirely out of your mind.
It’s a year and multiple failed relationships later, while you’re out shopping on a rare day off, that something changes.
“What do you think of this one?” Chan asks, drawing your attention to where he’s a few racks away donned in the black, leather biker jacket he just found on the men’s sale rack.
“Oh,” you murmur, suddenly hit with the realisation that your best friend is ridiculously attractive.
It’s not that you’ve ever thought Chan is ugly; in fact, you first paid attention to him in the bookstore past a glance because of how handsome he is. But that was over a year ago and your thoughts have never moved on from considering him the same kind of beautiful as you would a piece of art that you see in a store, yet easily move on past without looking back.
Yet now, you’ve noticed and suddenly can’t draw your eyes away from him.
“Hello?” Chan laughs, waving his arms to bring you back to reality when you do nothing more than stare at him for almost a full minute. “You alright? Getting hungry?” He pouts at you teasingly. “Does the baby need num nums?”
“I hate it when you say that” you remind and stick your middle finger up at him, making him laugh while you turn back to the sale rack you had been looking through.
“I know, why do you think I say it?” He cackles and bounces over to prod you and gain your attention back. “You didn’t say what you think? Do I look sexy?” He wiggles his eyebrows at you while posing in the jacket. “Should I get it?”
“Yeah,” you answer with a nod after taking his body in once more and turning away.
“Was that yes to getting it, or that I look sexy?” He murmurs from suddenly behind you with his mouth right by your ear. You jolt in surprise having not heard him approach, then turn to whack his arm while he cracks up laughing. “You think I’m sexyyy!” He sings loudly, just to annoy you.
“Why are we best friends again?”
“I took pity on you and your bad taste in men.” He definitely deserves the hit this time, even if he’s right.
Ever since you’ve known Chan, you’ve had nothing but terrible luck with picking men to date. You always think they’re okay at first, but then the red flags start popping up and begin waving manically in the hot air spewing from their mouths.
You really thought you had run out of bad luck and finally picked a good one with your ex. He was kind and endlessly attractive; a hard worker, yet always made time for fun and relaxation; and his parents loved you.
It lasted a whole seven months before you found another woman’s underwear in his car, and you realised you should’ve listened to Chan’s gut feeling about Kyle from the start. Finding a stack of polaroids of various women getting changed when you were emptying his apartment of your belongings that same night only made the heartache worse. Not only did he cheat on you, but he also likes to take photos of unsuspecting women through windows and cracked doors.
Upon turning your back on him three weeks ago, you decided to give up on men and always listen to Chan’s gut instincts from now on.
You don’t need a boyfriend; you just need your best friend.
Just when you’re about to leave your apartment building to meet with Chan for lunch one day, you come face to face with your ex. He looks, frankly put, like shit. He used to be so well put together, never to an obsessive degree but he was always well rested and tidy, but now he looks like he hasn’t slept or eaten in at least two days with his hair sticking up a little as if he’s been running his hands through it repeatedly. He’s still wearing nice clothes, but they’re creased, and his shoes aren’t even properly tied.
“What are you doing here?” You hiss while glaring at the man and trying to step past him, but he gets in your path with his hands held up placatingly; he even doesn’t attempt to touch you or get in your personal space.
Vaguely, you think how weird it is of him to respect that boundary yet have polaroids of you half naked in the changing room at your gym. A completely separate gym to the one he frequents too, which somehow makes it even worse; that he went so far out of his way to take the photos you never consented to.
“I just want to talk to you, please? Just a few minutes and I’ll go, and you’ll never see me again,” he pleads. The genuine desperation in his eyes makes you relent and nod. “Can we go somewhere a little less public? I’m not asking to go somewhere isolated, just not the middle of the building lobby.”
Again, you relent and move to the side of the lobby out of the light foot traffic; still perfectly in sight of others yet far enough away to have a private conversation.
“Thank you,” he breathes out gratefully and relaxes a little as you lean one shoulder against the wall with your arms crossed over your chest.
“What is it? I’m going to be late to meet Chan.”
“Right, how is he?”
“Good, it’s Chan. He’s always good.” The words are a little pointed, designed to hurt, and the way his features flinch at the jab sends a little surge of satisfaction into you. Though there’s something in you aching at that same hurt in his eyes; it looks too real.
“Yeah, he’s a good guy,” he agrees softly, and you hum. “So uh, I just…I can’t stop thinking about what happened.”
“Cheating on me or taking photos of women without their consent?” You question, glaring again at the reminder of why you want nothing to do with this man before you. This pathetic, sad eyed, mess of a man.
It’s funny how far he’s fallen in so little time. Strange how a man who cheated on you in the backseat of the same car he often pulled you into with shared giggles, can break so much at being called out on his misdeeds.
You really thought he would just move on to the next conquest and forget all about you for good, just like he did while with the other woman. Or women. You never asked how many there were.
Yet the man before you doesn’t seem to have moved on at all.
“I didn’t do either of those things,” he repeats the words he had said to you a little over a month ago. You didn’t believe him then; you were so full of anger and betrayal as you tried to cradle the pieces of your shattered heart and hoped he hadn’t stolen any of the pieces leaving you unable to stitch it back together again.
Now that you’ve let go of most of your anger and Chan has helped you in putting the pieces back together to the point that your heart is almost whole and healing, you can see through the pain and tears and notice that this man in front of you looks genuine. He’s looking at you without any attempt to look aside or shrink away. He isn’t hiding.
“I found underwear in your car Kyle,” you point out, holding your ground even if you suddenly realise that something here doesn’t feel right. “And those photos in your apartment.”
“I know, I know, and I’ve been trying to figure out how the fuck they got there because it wasn’t me.”
“You live alone and don’t share your car.”
“I know!” He exclaims, hands flying up in frustration, though it doesn’t feel like it’s aimed at you, especially as he steps back to make certain that he doesn’t accidentally hit you. Kyle’s always been considerate like that; always made sure to give you a wide berth when he flung his arms around in play or frustration. But that doesn’t mean he can’t be a cheating pervert. A man can be against physically harming his partner and still betray their trust so deeply.
“Then only you could’ve put them there.”
“No, no, I didn’t though,” he steps closer while lifting his hands between you, though he brings them to his own chest instead of touching you. “Look me in the eye and tell me I have ever done a thing to make you think I would cheat on you or take photos without consent. I never even asked you for pictures; you were the one who offered and asked if you could send me pictures months into our relationship.”
The thing is, he’s right. Although you did have sex regularly and he would send you dirty texts when he was in the mood, Kyle never asked for nudes. You had to be the one to bring it up and ask if he was against that kind of thing.
Now that he brings it up, you can vividly recall him telling you that does enjoy nudes and would certainly enjoy seeing photos of you like that, but he also knows how dangerous they can be to send and receive because of hacking, losing phones or breaking up. He had been so genuine about it and triple checked that you were comfortable with it entirely before giving you consent to send him photos whenever you wanted.
“You had those polaroids, you didn’t need me to send you any,” you reason in a mumble. You don’t even know if you believe what you’re saying at this point, or if you’re just trying to explain the behaviour away. Something isn’t sitting right in you.
“Why would I want polaroids of random women I don’t even know when I have you?” He asks, eyes silently begging you to understand.
“There were photos of me too,” you answer.
“What?” He frowns confusedly. “I didn’t see those, just the top ones before you took them all away.”
“You know I was in there, at the gym changing rooms.”
“I’ve never been anywhere near your gym!” He puts his face in his hands. “I don’t understand what the fuck is going on. I swear I have never been to your gym.” He looks at you imploringly as his hands drop. “And you know I keep my car clean, there’s no way I would’ve failed to notice that underwear; so if I did cheat on you, do you really think I’d miss the evidence and leave them somewhere you’d see them?”
You open your mouth to retort automatically, only to realise there isn’t a single word ready to roll off your tongue. He’s making far too much sense and that doesn’t make sense.
He cheated on you. He’s a pervert who takes photos of unsuspecting women in vulnerable situations. He’s a terrible person.
At least, you thought he was.
Maybe Chan is right and you’re just naïve when faced with a handsome man giving you big puppy dog eyes.
“I need to go,” you decide after a few long moments of trying to form some kind of reaction other than staring at him with furrowed brows. “Chan’s waiting.”
“Right,” Kyle lets out a disappointed sigh, yet nods resignedly and steps back as if giving you space to leave. He hadn’t been in your way in the first place but it’s a silent sign that he won’t try to stop you. “I guess I can’t say anything else to convince you that I didn’t do those things, and I never would. I…I wanted to marry you, you know?”
“What?” You whisper in shock, eyebrows lifting as your eyes turn wide. “Marry me?”
“Yeah,” he lets out a soft, humourless laugh and runs one hand through his hair while looking aside, a shy flush creeping onto his neck and ears. “I was in love with you.”
“You were?”
“Yeah, well, no, actually, that’s a lie.” He looks at you and catches the way your face falls into a frown hearing him admitting to lying to your face like that. “I’m still so fucking in love with you that I can’t function properly knowing you hate me. I’m not asking you to come back to me; I know that won’t happen. I’m just…asking you to really think about it, about us, and me. I never lied to you, never showed you a false me. You know me better than anyone else. Do you really believe I did those things?”
“What took you so long?” Chan pouts at you when you sit down in your usual seat opposite him at your usual table in your usual café. “Angel?”
“Uh, so Kyle was at my apartment,” you inform, picking up your mug that’s been waiting for you for ten minutes already thanks to Chan always ordering for you both. Usually you arrive minutes before your food and drinks arrive, but today you’re late for the first time.
“What?” Chan’s face drops so drastically it throws you off for a second. You’ve never seen such a dark expression on him; you’ve never seen him so entirely void of any light. He doesn’t look like your best friend. “Your apartment? Did he force himself in? Did he hurt you?”
“No, no, I meant the lobby and no, he’s never hurt me. He wouldn’t do that.”
“He cheated on you, took fucking creeper shots of you in your gym and you think he’s above putting his hands on you?” He scoffs, shaking his head a little and pushes the salt across the table to you. You hadn’t asked for it, but you will before you start eating.
He’s always doing thoughtful little things like that for you, but you’ve never really noticed it until the last weeks. Silently noticing what you need and giving it to you with a smile.
But he’s not smiling now. He looks concerned now, rounded eyes locked on you and head tilted down a little as he frowns, almost looking at you through his eyelashes. “I don’t want to be mean or anything, but he fooled you before, angel, he’s clearly trying to do it again. I don’t know what he said to you, but you’ve got that lost look you get when you don’t know what to do.”
“He made good points, Channie,” you reply as you salt your fries before putting the shaker down. Chan doesn’t even look at it past a quick glance before sliding it back to its home out of the way.
“What good points could he have for cheating on you?”
“He said he didn’t do it-” Chan sighs heavily, cutting you off.
“Angel, he said that before, remember? Why do you suddenly believe that piece of shit?”
“Because…he looked honest.”
Chan stares at you for a moment before he sighs and reaches over to hold your hands. “I say this with all the love in me, but you’re not the best judge of character, angel. You’re naïve, innocent. I love that you see the good in the world and everyone, really, I fucking love it; it’s really sweet and cute. But it’s going to get you hurt all over again if you let him fool you like this.”
You look down at your hands in Chan’s, then back up at his face. His gaze is entirely open; big eyes and soft, naturally pouting lips. Your heart skips a beat.
You look away while nodding in understanding, silently telling him that you’re listening to him as you free your hands so that you can pick up your fork.
“Good, I really don’t want to see you hurt again like that. It broke my heart,” Chan says, relaxing as he picks up his own fork to stab too many fries onto the prongs, which he then points at you. “If you break my heart again like that, I’m stealing your TV.”
“My TV?” You sputter in surprise before laughing. Chan grins around the too many fries in his mouth and nods. “You’re ridiculous.”
“You love me though,” he sings around his mouthful while stabbing more fries.
Even with the view of his partially chewed food in his mouth, you can’t really deny it.
“No! Stop it!” You giggle while trying to block Chan from entering your kitchen behind you. “It’s not ready!”
“Just tell me what you’re doing!” He replies, laughing along with you as he tries to dart around you.
“Not yet! Just wait, you impatient shit!”
“No!” He wraps his arms around your waist to pull you away from the doorway and spin you both, so his back is to the kitchen now instead of yours. “Ha!”
“No!” You gasp and reach out, grabbing fistfuls of his t-shirt and in a panic, you yank him closer harshly, unintentionally making him stumble into you.
“Shit, are you okay?” He worries once you’re both steady and he’s holding your upper arms to nudge you back just enough that he can look at your face. You’re frowning, though he can only see your furrowed eyebrows thanks to your hand being over most of the bottom half of your face to cup your nose as his shoulder had collided with it. “Oh, did I hurt you?”
“Asshole,” you murmur while nodding, even if it doesn’t hurt that much; you just honestly like being doted on by your best friend to the extent that you are willing to play up minor injuries to gain his gentle touch and attention.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to,” he apologises, frowning at you as he carefully tugs your hand down. “Let Doctor Channie see.”
“You’d be a terrible doctor,” you reply, moving your hand down to let him cup your face so that he can tilt your head into the light coming in through the windows and see your features better.
“What? I’d be great!” He defends, pouting at you offendedly.
“You thought the uvula is what you pee from.”
“It’s not my fault!” He blushes a little at the reminder of his innocent mix up. “Nobody told me that dangly thing isn’t tonsils! And the pee pipe thingy starts with a U too!”
“Urethra.”
“Exactly, they’re so similar! They should name them differently. Anyway, that doesn’t mean anything, I’d still be a good doctor.”
“Yeah, until you try to catheter someone’s throat.” His expression turns unimpressed, and you can’t help but giggle. He rolls his eyes as his lips turn up into a smile.
“You’re lucky you’re cute,” he murmurs, turning his attention back to your slightly red nose.
“Mm, so what’s the verdict doc?” You tease, poking at his stomach and trying not to focus on the physical reminder that your best friend has abs under his baggy clothes.
“I think you’ll be okay with the right treatment.”
“And what treatment is that?”
“The best thing for a boo-boo,” he replies seriously, and then visibly nearly breaks into a laugh at the almost glare you land on him. “What?”
“I’m not a baby.”
“Yes you are. My baby,” he coos and taps his thumbs to your cheeks. You hope he doesn’t see or feel the way they warm at his words. “I specialise in baby angels, I know this.”
“You’re seriously ridiculous.”
“Mm, so, are you consenting to Doctor Channie’s effective boo-boo treatment?”
You raise an eyebrow at him. “You haven’t told me what it is yet.”
“You know what the treatment for a boo-boo is, angel,” he chuckles and tilts forward to press a soft kiss to the tip of your nose. “Like that.”
“I didn’t consent to that treatment, I can sue you,” you mumble, trying to distract from the growing pink on your cheeks. Chan’s eyes glide over your features, lips turning up into a soft smile. “Stop smiling at me like that!” You whine, slapping his waist so gently that it can’t even be classed at a slap, more like you’re just putting your hands on his waist with a little force.
“But you’re so fucking cute,” he reasons, smiling wider. “My cute baby,” he murmurs lowly and brushes his nose against yours gently. Your breath hitches at the tender action while your fingers curl reflexively to loosely grip his t-shirt. “Do I have consent to administer treatment, angel?” He whispers, lips so close to yours that you can almost feel them moving as he talks.
“I…” Just as you start to nod, your phone starts to ring in the kitchen, making you jump in surprise and jolt away from Chan in a natural reaction to the unexpected noise. “I should get that.”
“Right,” Chan mutters, dropping his arms to his side with a disappointed frown as he watches you scoot around him to enter the kitchen.
When you pick up your phone from the counter, you’re more than just a little surprised to see your ex’s mother calling you.
You haven’t heard from her since the breakup when she messaged you to say that she doesn’t know what happened, but she hopes that you and her can still be friends as she values you so highly. You hadn’t responded then; you hadn’t wanted to interact with anyone who you knew through him, even if you had regret ghosting her afterwards because she genuinely is such a lovely woman who always treated you lovingly.
Still, even with the period of no contact between you, you pick your phone up to answer the call. “Hello?”
“O-oh thank goodness,” the still familiar voice sobs in relief.
“Auntie? What is it? What’s wrong?”
“It’s Kyle, there-there’s been an accident.”
Just over an hour after receiving the call, you’re tucked up in between Kyle’s parents on the couch of the private room with their arms around you, both of them crying for their son as you do your best to comfort them while feeling numb yourself. You’re too in shock at the sight of the heavily injured man laid unconscious on the bed to process it.
When you had arrived with Chan right behind you, the pair had just about managed to tell you through their tears that Kyle had been driving to work that morning when another vehicle had violently run him off of the road.
It had been on such a quiet road so early that nobody else was around; no witnesses to give details of the other car, nor to run to his aide or call for help. By the time someone found the wreck in the ditch, it had been long enough that too much damage had been done.
And now, even after hours of surgery, there’s no knowing if Kyle will make it through the night, let alone wake up again. There’s only waiting.
So, you wait.
“They’ll call if there’s any sign,” Chan reminds as he helps you out of your jacket. “You spent two days by his side, angel, there’s nothing more you can do for him. He’s not your responsibility or person to care for anymore. His parents and sister are there, and they promised to call you.”
“I know,” you reply, moving woodenly as Chan leads you through your apartment to the kitchen with his hand in yours to keep you moving.
He flicks on the light and falls still at the sight of the mess you left on the counter from leaving so quickly three evenings ago to get to the hospital. He never learned what you had been refusing to let him see until now. “Cake,” he murmurs, noticing the half decorated cake on the counter, surrounded by all the items you had been using to decorate it.
“For your new job,” you reply with a shrug. “It’s no good now. Sorry, I’ll buy you a replacement tomorrow.”
“No, no, you don’t have to. Just knowing is enough for me,” Chan assures, turning to bring you in to hold against his chest where you melt against him with an exhale. “I appreciate the thought and effort you went to, angel; that means more than a store bought cake ever could.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t finish it.”
“It’s not your fault. Let’s order something for dinner and while it’s on its way, I’ll clean this up while you go shower.”
“Do I smell?” You mumble against his shoulder.
“Like sadness,” he retorts with a joking edge to his sombre tone that makes you jab your fingers into his waist in scold. He yelps and contorts away from your fingers without releasing his arms from around you. “And meanness.”
“Meanness,” you repeat, scoffing a short laugh and leaning back from his shoulder to look at him.
“Yes. It’s mean to take advantage of my weak spots.”
“You do it to me all the time.”
“Yes, but you’re the nice one, my angel,” he coos, pinching your cheek before he lets you go to nudge you out of the kitchen while you try to recall just when it got so normal for Chan to call you his.
Since becoming best friends with Chan, it’s not unusual at all to return home and find him in your apartment as if he owns the place. Honestly, you genuinely think he spends more time in your apartment than his own, especially the past couple months. The couch is practically his bed at this point.
What is very unusual however, is to arrive home to find the door slightly open and hear another voice talking with Chan from inside your apartment.
“Chan?” You call in a cautious, soft voice as you nudge the door open and peer around it.
“Hi, angel, welcome home,” Chan greets, smiling at you and motioning you to join him opposite the two uniformed police officers standing and talking to him in the entrance hall.
“What’s going on, Channie?” You ask as you stand at his side and cling to his hand while remaining just a little behind him and away from the officers. They’re both taller than you and Chan, with one of them being thick with muscle and rather intimidating. Though when he smiles at you in polite greeting, most of the fear melts away.
“This is Officer Choi Seungcheol and Officer Chwe Hansol, they’re here to talk to you about Kyle,” Chan explains, motioning to each man in turn.
“Is there news on who ran him off the road?” You ask, looking at the two men with hope in your eyes and chest. It’s been over a week since the incident and there hasn’t been any more information about who put Kyle into such a devastating condition.
The last you heard, they had managed to get sight of a damaged SUV in the general vicinity from CCTV a handful of roads away, but the plates turned out to be stolen from another car across the country over a year ago and the windows were blacked out so there’s no way to tell who was driving the car. Whoever it was clearly knows the streets well enough that they escaped the CCTV quickly and the vehicle hasn’t shown up since. Nor has one matching the description been scrapped or sent to be fixed.
“That’s not our department,” the intimidating officer, Seungcheol, replies while giving you another gentle little smile. “I’m afraid we’re from the sexual crimes division, ma’am.”
“Sexual crimes?” You whisper in shock. “Wh-what?”
“We’ve received reports that Kyle has sexually harassed and stalked multiple women over the past year.”
“No, he-he wouldn’t-” you argue, shaking your head as your hands start to tremble ever so slightly, so you hold onto Chan’s hand tighter with both of yours to try and cease the shuddering movements. “You’re wrong.”
“I understand that it’s hard to hear these things about someone you thought you knew, but we have to follow up every lead we have to get all the information we need to press charges.”
“He’s in a hospital bed!” You baulk and let out an incredulous laugh. “You want to charge a man who might not even wake up? What kind of a person are you?!”
“It’s not our choice, ma’am. We’re just doing our jobs and trying to get justice for the victims.”
“I’m not having any part in this. I have nothing to say to you. He never did a thing wrong to me. Get out,” you insist, pointing to the door. “I’m not going to let you bring these accusations into my home without proof.”
“We have proof,” the other officer speaks up, earning a slightly disapproving look from his partner, but he isn’t stopped. “We saw proof ourselves; photos of women taken from outside of windows and other positions that clearly show a lack of consent. And a hidden, digital diary alluding to the acts that match up with statements we received from victims.”
“Photos?” You repeat disbelievingly.
“Yes ma’am, and I’m afraid you were in some. Based on the angle and quality, we believe the photos were taken from a roof into what we can only assume is your own bedroom.”
“My bedroom?”
“Yes ma’am. May we see your room and take photos for comparative purposes?”
“My bedroom…” You can only repeat, too in shock to do anything else as you stare dumbly at the two uniformed men in front of you.
“I think she needs a moment,” Chan says while putting his arm around you to support your gradually weakening body.
“Of course, we’ll wait right here,” Seungcheol agrees in a gentle tone and nods understandingly.
Chan carefully takes you to the living room to sit you on the couch and kneels in front of you. “Baby, breathe, come on,” he encourages softly as he holds your face. “You’re going to have a panic attack if you don’t copy me, come on.” He starts to take exaggerated breaths; big inhale, hold, slow exhale.
You blink at him unseeingly for a few of his breaths before your eyes drop to his mouth and you naturally copy the man who has helped you level your breathing more times than you can count the past year.
“That’s it, that’s my girl,” he praises. “A few more for me, you can do a few more for your Channie, right?” You nod so he smiles and takes a handful more deep, steadying breaths, each of which you obediently copy. “Good, well done.” He leans forward and kisses your head. “I’ll deal with the cops, okay? You just sit here and let your Channie handle it all. You just relax, angel.”
There isn’t a single part of you that wants to face the officers and their accusations again, so you simply nod and let Chan tuck a blanket around you as you curl up against the back of the sofa, before he turns on the TV just loud enough that when he goes back into the hall to talk to the two men, you can’t make out their low murmuring voices.
Throughout the remainder of the visit from the two officers, you don’t move, just sit staring blankly at the cushions in front of you as your mind whirls.
You don’t know what to believe. When Kyle had visited you that day, you really did believe him. Even now, there’s a part of you that struggles to believe the sincerity in his eyes and voice to be nothing more than a clever act to fool you. He has never laid a hand on you, never forced you to do anything or kicked up a fuss if you rejected his advances. Kyle was good.
Or maybe not.
If the police aren’t lying to you, then they have proof; more photos, even though you took the ones you found that time and burned them all, and witness accounts, or well, victim’s statements would be the correct term.
You know it’s possible to spend your entire life with a person and never truly know them, but you truly had thought that you knew Kyle. You had been so close to falling in love with him; that’s why it had hurt so much. You truly had believed that one day, you’d fall mutually in love with him, with a good man, and have a happy life together.
But all this; the accusations, the proof you had found yourself even if you still struggle to accept it at face value, it just goes to show that you never really know a person.
“They’re gone,” Chan’s voice breaks you from your thoughts. You turn your head to watch him cross the living room to sit at your side and invite himself under the blanket. He puts his left arm on the back of the couch in a silent offer that you readily accept, shuffling closer to tuck up under his arm and settle when it’s around you securely.
“Was it my room?” You ask, not really sure if you want to know the answer. But you need to.
Chan lets out a breath that sounds like a reluctant sigh. It’s almost answer enough, yet you need to hear it. “Yeah, angel, it looks like it was your room. They took photos and are going to go to the roof of the motel opposite to take a photo from there to see if it matches. I’ve given them my number to keep me updated and so they contact me if they need to, not you. I told them about the photos you found too and that you burned them so no-one else can have them.”
“Should-should I have reported him then?” You wonder, suddenly worried that you had potentially endangered women by not stepping up.
“Maybe,” he replies in a way that you just know means he thinks you should’ve, but he doesn’t want to upset you.
You curl up smaller and turn your face into his shoulder to let the familiar, soothing scent of his cologne and laundry detergent ease you.
Chan tilts his head on top of yours and holds you that bit tighter. “At least he can’t hurt anyone else anymore.”
The words are supposed to be comforting, but they don’t comfort you at all.
The news comes only a few days later.
It didn’t take long to gather evidence to support the accusations against Kyle. The warrant for his home turned up the photos and a hidden memory stick containing a written diary with documents matching dates of some of the statements, though many more entries without a woman to match to the words. The police just had to confirm the evidence and talk to some people before moving forward with it, like they did with you and Chan.
If it wasn’t for Kyle’s condition, the case would’ve been closed only two days after the police visited you, and he would’ve been sent off to prison. As it is, the man still hasn’t woken and the doctors aren’t confident that he ever will, so he can’t really be held accountable for his actions.
When Chan tells you the news, you feel bad that for the first time, you’re glad that Kyle is unconscious and likely to never wake up; at least this way, he won’t have to face the accusations which a part of you still can’t believe are true.
What you are finally letting yourself believe though, are all the times Chan called you naïve.
“Delivery for the cutest baby angel to have ever existed,” comes the greeting from behind the massive bouquet of flowers almost shoved in your face the very moment you open the front door of your apartment to see who has been insistently ringing the bell.
“That is an obscene amount of flowers,” you murmur while eyeing the bouquet.
It lowers and your best friend’s head appears as he pouts at you cutely. “Don’t you want it?”
“Gimmie,” you encourage, making grabby hands. Chan grins and hands you the bouquet, which is literally three times bigger than your head, before stepping into the apartment while you wander off, happily admiring and sniffing the multitude of flowers.
It’s not unusual for Chan to bring you flowers at all; rather, it’s unusual for your home to not have flowers gifted to you from your best friend. Even if he can’t visit you he sends you flowers at least weekly, and the ones he sends tend to always be more extravagant as if he’s making up for not giving them to you in person.
Every single bouquet is always handpicked by Chan; he always chooses which flowers to give you, not based on their colour or scent but for the meaning.
One of the things that helped you and Chan bond when you first met was your shared love of flowers and their meanings. You both know the meanings of a vast array of flowers, and he always includes yellow roses in his bouquet to symbolise your friendship.
Today is no different; there is an abundance of yellow roses in the bouquet, but there are a mixture of other flowers often in yellow themes, as it seems rather common for yellow flowers to symbolise friendship and happiness.
But sometimes there’s other colours; a little pop of pink tulips to show he cares, white carnations with a cheeky wink as he calls you baby angel, fragrant lavender to remind you of his loyalty to your friendship. Every bouquet is carefully crafted as a message; to tell you that Chan is your best friend and will always be there to love and support you.
And today, right there amongst the usual flowers, a handful of light pink roses.
You run through your mental list of flower meanings. Pink roses tend to mean grace, dark pink for gratitude and light pink has a few meanings just like many flowers. Many of the flowers Chan gives you have multiple meanings, but when put together the bouquets he gives you all mean the same thing. However, light pink roses aren’t used to symbolise friendship, innocence, or care. They mean youth, energy, passion, desire. None of those really blend with the rest of the bouquet’s meaning and it throws you for a loop.
“Did they put in the wrong flower?” You ask, pointing to the light pink roses as you look over at Chan puzzled. He walks over to peer at the bouquet and where you’re motioning, before shaking his head. “But they don’t mean friendship,” you mumble confusedly and look at the flowers again as you try to decipher their reasoning.
Chan doesn’t say a word, just leans his left hip against the counter, left palm on the surface and right hand fiddling with the unused belt loop on your jeans as he waits.
“Wait!” You turn to face him while pointing an accusing finger at him. “Is this you calling me a baby again? Light pink roses for youth?”
Chan chuckles and shakes his head, sliding two of his fingers into the loop now you’re facing one another and letting his palm settle against your hip. “No, it’s not that, though that’s a good one, I should’ve thought of that.”
“Then what?” You tilt your head a little, pouting naturally with your innocent confusion.
“You know. I know you know this one, angel,” he encourages and tugs you closer.
“Joy of life?” You offer, too used to him leading you around and being physically affectionate to really register how close he has you, or how his thumb is gradually tugging at your t-shirt where it’s tucked into your jeans.
“No.”
“Well it’s certainly not energy, you always say I lack energy. Or are you trying to like, manifest energy for me?”
“No, but once again, that’s good, I’ll make you a manifestation bouquet one day soon.”
“Then what? I’m confused, Chan.”
“Want me to tell you?” You nod in confirmation. “What if I show you?”
“What?”
He smirks a little, then pushes off of the counter and cups your jaw with his left hand. “Should I tell you, or show you, baby?” He murmurs, voice pitching low in a way that sends shivers up and down your spine. He leans in closer, brushing his nose against your cheek and nose in a teasing manner, but he doesn’t do anything more. “Well?”
It takes a few seconds for you to react; your heart is racing with anticipation, and you need to swallow a few times. He pulls back and notices your gaze slide down to his lips. “Show me,” you say in a voice so soft and shy it’s practically a whisper.
Chan doesn’t need to be told twice; he darts forward to slot his lips against yours for the first time. There’s no hesitance in his movements, no gentle teasing and dancing as he eases you into it; he kisses you passionately from the first moment, guiding your head to tilt in the perfect angle to deepen the kiss to a filthy degree when he coaxes your mouth open only seconds after his lips touch yours.
You never expected this from Chan; never imagined he’d kiss in such a manner that you feel like he’s consuming your heart and soul in the best of ways. He’s only been kissing you for a few seconds, yet your knees are weak, and you have to cling to him to keep yourself upright.
The moment your hand grips the back of his neck, Chan groans in pleased approval against your mouth and pins you roughly against the counter; his hips pressed against yours and his right hand giving up being subtle about his wants as he yanks your t-shirt out of the waistband of your jeans so that he can slide his hand underneath and run his palm against your bare skin.
Of course, a kiss that passionate can’t go on for too long, you especially need to catch your breath as you hadn’t been prepared at all for the intensity and keep forgetting to breathe as your lips and tongue move with his.
Though when you press against his chest and turn your head aside slightly to try and catch your breath, Chan doesn’t stop kissing you, he just relocates his focus, leaving a trail of hot, open mouthed kisses over your jaw and down your neck.
“Wanted you for so fucking long, angel,” he admits, voice thick with arousal and sounding unfairly in breath even if his chest is heaving too. He drags his teeth over the crook of your neck making you gasp and grip him tighter. “Driving me crazy, ‘m so hard. Can I have you? Can I take you to bed and drown in your pussy? Fuck you so hard I owe you a new bed?”
“Fuck,” you breathe out and grab a handful of his hair to drag him back up. His eyes are so hooded that you’re not certain he’s even looking at you. He looks so far gone and it does dangerous things to you. “Y-you do so much for me, Chan.”
“What?” He blinks away some of the lust dazing him to peer at you confusedly, and a little offended and the out of place comment. “What are you talking about all of a sudden? I’m trying to take you to bed, and you say that? You can just say no, not do some weird speech.”
“I’m not doing that,” you assure and move your left hand off of his shoulder, down his torso and under his oversized t-shirt to find the button of his jeans. He looks down in surprise, then back up at you with desire flooding back into his expression and eyes as you skilfully get his jeans open. Neither of you care that they immediately drop to the floor around his ankles with the jangle of his keys in his pocket, as you get your hand in his boxers. “Let me do this for you.”
“Fuck, yeah, yeah, whatever you want angel,” he approves before leaning in to seal your lips back together.
After your tryst in the kitchen, which lead to half of the bouquet getting destroyed when Chan bent you over the counter chest first into the flowers, sex is suddenly on the table for the two of you. Often literally. It seems as if that encounter opened the floodgates of a year of repressed desire from Chan and alerted you to the fact that his passion is more than just a little reciprocated.
Of course, you’ve known for a while now that you’re attracted to Chan; ever since the realisation that day in the store thanks to the leather jacket, which he is often prancing around in, especially since he’s realised how much you like him in it. Sometimes he’ll even turn up at your apartment, open the zip of his jacket and reveal that he’s wearing nothing but your marks underneath, leading to you pinning him to the closest surface to expand on the collection.
What you hadn’t known is just how deep your attraction runs. That at some point within you, the lust starts to morph and before it reaches your chest, it turns to a love which squeezes your heart a little every time he slows down to press a soft kiss to your lips, or you find him looking at you with eyes sparkling with adoration.
You never imagined that you would fall for your best friend, yet here you are, weeks into your relationship turning sexual, and falling asleep naked in his arms more often than not while not wanting the morning to come because you know he’ll leave before you’re awake so that he can go home and get ready for work.
There’s a part of you that has, on more than one occasion, almost blurted out that he should just bring his work clothes over; you’ve already made space in the wardrobe to hang his shirts and space in the drawer for his trousers. But you don’t.
As much as you’ve come to understand and accept that the love you feel for Chan is no longer purely platonic, you aren’t ready to move on from your ex. There’s still a piece of your heart in Kyle’s hands, even if they are limp in his hospital bed and your heart should’ve been released back to you months ago.
You’ve tried to move on; you thought it would’ve happened naturally thanks to your recently developed feelings for your best friend and the regular sessions of getting fucked dumb into various surfaces by the man.
Still, Kyle remains, and you don’t understand why your heart won’t let you love Chan entirely.
You hope that Chan is happy with this; that he’s content to spend spare moments between your usual hangouts and your thighs. You don’t want to have to tell him that you’re not over Kyle; you know that Chan doesn’t like the man. Although he never voices his displeasure in you still visiting the Kyle in the hospital, you can always see it in his eyes when you leave and how he fucks you that bit harder when you return.
Hope, it seems, is still stubbornly stuck in the bottom of the box, and has no place in the real world, especially not yours.
“You have a key,” you point out flatly when you open the door having expected the takeout you’ve ordered for dinner for yourself and Chan, yet find the man himself on the other side of the door with his hands behind his back and still wearing his work clothes. “What’re you hiding? Please tell me it’s dinner; I thought you’re the delivery man you know?”
“It’s not dinner,” he chuckles, then brings his hands around to reveal this week’s bouquet. Tulips; red, yellow, and orange. Love.
“Chan…” you trail off, not sure what to say and expression downturned when you look up at him. You can practically see the moment you break his heart.
“Oh, I guess I misread this,” he smiles embarrassed and awkward, even with the pain evident in his eyes. “I thought that you might return my feelings finally, but I guess not.”
“You’re not wrong,” you confess softly. “I just…I’m not over Kyle.”
“What?” His features scrunch in bewilderment. “You’re not over the man who would be arrested for sexual harassment and stalking right now if not in a coma? Am I hearing that right?”
“I still can’t connect that to the man I knew.”
“He really fucked with your head, didn’t he?” His arms lower defeatedly.
“No, he didn’t. He was just…good to me.”
“He cheated on you, angel, he wrote about it in his diary and other women have said as much too. What’s it going to take for you to accept that and move on?”
“I-I don’t know, Chan. I’m sorry but I just can’t do that. I’ve tried to get over him, but it hasn’t happened.”
“Well…I’m not going anywhere,” he declares and steps forward to offer the bouquet. “You may not be able to love me and be with me the way I want, but I still love you, with everything in me and I’ll be here for you all the same.”
“Won’t that hurt you?”
“Baby,” he chuckles and tenderly cups your cheek in one hand, the other still holding the tulips you’ve yet to accept. “I’ve loved you since the moment I first laid my eyes on you; I’ve been by your side through all of the assholes you gave your time to, even if they didn’t deserve it. This one will pass too.”
“What if it doesn’t?”
“It will,” a flash of determination appears in his eyes as he smiles at you. “You’ll be mine soon enough, I promise you that, angel.”
At first, you had been cautious with Chan after his confession. You don’t want to hurt him and make him suffer at your side, so you pulled back on the affection and stopped the sexual aspect of your relationship entirely. Chan hadn’t been very happy and pouted at you when you turned him down the first time, but he didn’t push it and accepted it. Though he still reaches out to pull you close to hold and well, you don’t really want to quit him truthfully, so you let that happen.
After a few weeks, it’s as if the month of mind-blowing sex never happened and you and Chan are back to being nothing more than best friends. He keeps to his word and remains by your side as he always has, with no pushing or attempts to get you to reconsider and accept his love wholeheartedly.
Maybe that’s why one day when you’re laid side by side on a picnic blanket looking up at the stars with the snacks and drinks, which Chan supplied for the stargazing session, contently settling in your belly, you look at him and for the first time, you don’t feel as if your heart is missing a single piece.
“What?” Chan asks, side eyeing you amusedly when you’ve been staring at him instead of the sky for a few seconds too long. “Are you about to tell me that the stars in the sky don’t sparkle as bright as the stars in my eyes?”
“Where do you even come up with this stuff?” You laugh and nudge him playfully before sitting up. “Whoa,” you murmur when your head spins, eyes slamming closed and hands flying out to try and balance yourself.
“Angel, what’s wrong?” Chan’s hands are on you in seconds as he sits up to support you.
“M wobbly,” you slur, trying to look at him as your hands grip him tight. “Channie,” you start to panic as the dizziness doesn’t subside at all, if anything it feels like it’s getting worse as he starts to multiply before your eyes. “S-something’s wrong.”
“Shh, it’s okay, Channie’s got you, lay down angel, Channie’s got you,” he soothes, gently laying you back down on the blanket and propping himself up on his right elbow as his left hand cups your cheek. “You’ll feel better soon; just close your eyes and let your Channie look after you.”
“Chan…” You’re finding it harder and harder to move your body with every second. It feels as if your muscles are turning to sludge and bones rubber. You try to lift your arm from where it flopped to your stomach when he laid you down, yet you can’t lift it.
Chan watches the panic fill your eyes and strokes his hand over your head, then back to your cheek again. “You’re okay, my love, I’ll never let anything happen to you. Your Channie will always look after you.”
You can’t even open your mouth to respond. A choked sound leaves your parted lips as your vision starts blurring darkly around the edges.
“I will do whatever I need to, to make sure that nobody can ever hurt you again, my angel,” his voice is taking on a strange otherworldly quality, fading in and out every other syllable.
It feels as if you’re becoming one with the ground under you. It’s still hard against your back, yet it feels as if you’re melting into it, like every point of contact is rapidly ceasing to exist as you fight to keep your eyes open.
“Close your eyes, baby,” Chan’s warped voice meets you. He says something else, but a buzzing appears, overlapping his muffled words until the high pitched sound is all you can hear.
You feel something touch your forehead and brush down gently, forcing your eyes closed. You don’t have the strength to open them again.
It’s pitch black, only the ringing for company until suddenly, it leaves.
There’s barely time to register the pure silence before your consciousness melts into the ground to join the rest of you.
Everything comes back to you all at once.
Your body jerks awake as your eyes fly open. The soft, natural light around you is too bright on your sore eyes and the gentle sound of the birds outside singing their morning song pierces your sensitive ears. Instinctively, you close your eyes and lift your hands with the intention of pressing your palms to your ears to block out the noise, but something stops you from raising your hands more than a few inches.
Panicked, your eyes open and look down to find thick, padded straps around your wrists and buckled in place with a chain connecting each to the wooden frame of the bed under you. You tug, but they don’t give. You try to move your legs, but your ankles are bound in the same way; even if you don’t look at them to check, you just know you’d see the same binds there.
“Breathe,” the voice is familiar, is the one that you’re so used to listening to that you find yourself listening and taking some deep, stabilising breaths without even thinking about it. “Good girl.”
After a few seconds, you realise that Chan is in the room; the strange room where you’re cuffed to a strange bed. You have no idea where you are; the walls look wooden and it smells kind of musty, like it hasn’t been used in a while, but the familiar scent of Chan’s laundry detergent meets your nose from the soft, clean pillow under your head when you turn your head to try and find the man.
He’s sitting in a rickety old rocking chair near the closed door of the small room.
There’s nothing else in the room; no curtains on the window on the wall, which the right side of the bed is pushed against; the window is cracked open, letting in fresh air but even from where you’re laid, you can see bars on the outside. There’s a bulb hanging from the centre of the ceiling emitting a redundant, soft orange glow. And nothing else.
Just you, the bed, the chair, and the man you thought was your best friend looking at you as he gently rocks back and forth, back and forth, the chair creaking with every movement.
For tense moments, minutes maybe, you just stare at Chan in horror. This is not the man you’ve spent the past almost two years side by side with. This is not the man you had been seconds away from telling that you finally loved him with everything in you.
Your Chan is beautiful inside and out; with bright eyes always shining with mirth and adoration when they find you, and a smile that could weaken the toughest of hearts. He was love and happiness. Your love. Your happiness. You don’t know where that’s gone.
This Chan terrifies you. His face is flat, no smile, no sparkle in his eyes. He’s looking at you with an expression so dark and haunting; something similar to the way he looked when you told him that Kyle turned up at your apartment building all those months ago in the café, yet somehow so much worse.
For the first time since meeting Lee Chan, you look at him and you want to be as far away as possible, and then further. This isn’t a man you want to be near. Yet, you’re left without a choice.
“Wha-what’s going on, Chan?” You stammer.
“This is your fault, you know,” he informs matter-of-factly. “If you had just said yes to me that day, if you hadn’t held onto that fucking asshole, then this would’ve never happened. We could be at home, in bed; I could be buried deep in your pussy and filling you with cum again and again until you’re round with my baby. We could’ve been happy; had our family, gotten married,” he huffs a dry laugh and abruptly stops rocking. “We could’ve had the perfect fucking family, baby! We could’ve been perfect. But no! You had to cling to that asshole!” He gets to his feet, flinging his arms up in the air as his lips start to split into a disbelieving smile.
He doesn’t even seem to notice that you flinch and try to move further away from him as he steps closer. He seems entirely caught up in his own monologue as he starts to pace the short length of the room to your left.
“I’ve done everything I can to win you over! I studied you for fucking months before showing myself to you. Changed my hair, changed my style, even changed my fucking interests to suit your tastes!” He wheels around and stalks closer to put his right hand on the headboard above you while he stares down at you with eyes wide. “I fucking hate flowers, you know? Hate those stupid fucking things, yet I read every fucking book I could find to learn about them. Learned how to grow them from tiny little seeds all for you,” he points at you. “And what thanks do I get?” He laughs and pushes away from the bed to turn and take a few steps away. “Nothing! Okay, no, no, that’s not fair to you,” he concedes.
Chan turns to face you with his hands and features settled so suddenly into something so placating that you wonder if you had imagined the unhinged mess he was seconds ago.
“I got to taste that pretty little pussy and feel it around my cock, your mouth too. Fuck, baby, I could’ve held out longer if you hadn’t ended that but you, you little cock tease, had to give me a taste of heaven and rip it away from me.” He tuts disapprovingly and gives you an exaggerated pout. “You’ve really broken my heart, you know?”
“Th-then let me go and you never ha-have to see me again,” you try to reason, but he laughs; a full, loud, rolling laugh while leaning over with his hands on his knees as if you’ve told the best joke he’s ever heard.
“Oh, angel!” He exclaims as he straightens up, clapping his hands amusedly. “That’s good, really good. You’re so funny, baby, it’s one of the things I love most about you. You’ve always made me laugh.”
For a few seconds, he looks at you so tenderly that he looks like your Chan again; the Chan you fell in love with, the Chan you wish you had realised was a trick from the start. It makes sense that he always called you naïve when he knows from experience how easy it is to fool you.
“You’re mine now, ‘till death do us part and all that. Sorry I don’t have a ring for you, I’ve never been one for accessories.” He lifts his bare hands to wiggle them at you.
It’s only now that you realise he isn’t wearing a single piece of jewellery, something you thought wasn’t possible for your Chan. His clothes aren’t baggy and hiding his form, and hair no longer shaggy and in his eyes. He’s wearing blue jeans like usual, but these ones are straight legged and show off his thick thighs and ass; his plain white fitted t-shirt is tucked into his jeans neatly, showcasing his slim waist and strong upper body; with his hair neatly styled back in a casual, yet neat, manner. You’ve never seen him like this; he looks older this way, less playful.
It's another reminder that he’s not your Chan. He never truly was.
“I wish it didn’t come to this; you know?” He comments while walking over to sit on the edge of the bed by your waist and brush the back of his fingers over your cheek, entirely ignoring the way you flinch away from this touch, even if it is painfully tender. “You’re so beautiful; I’ve wanted you from the moment I first laid eyes on you, even if you never saw me.” He sighs dramatically and gets up to stand beside the bed. “Even back then you looked anywhere but me. It’s funny though,” he muses, pacing a little as his lips start to lift and bring back that manic smile he earlier wore.
It scares the shit out of you.
“You never once questioned your bad luck,” he quotes your own words with a mocking tone, trying not to laugh as he does so. “Or how it only appeared once I came into your life. You really are fucking naïve, baby.”
“What did you do?” You whisper, horrified at the realisation that Chan had been the reason that all of your relationships have failed.
Now that you think about it, he had always warned you away from them all for some reason; some kind of claim of a bad feeling, a rumour, seeing them kissing another woman. You never questioned how he always had something to say about every single man you showed interest in, or seemed to know things he shouldn’t really know. You put too much trust in the man from day one and now it’s come back to bite you in the ass.
“Whatever I needed to. It was all so easy too, like you wanted a reason to leave them all. I really thought it was because you wanted me,” he laughs darkly and pins an equally as dark look on you as his smile drops. “And then Kyle came along. Fucking Kyle. Perfect Kyle with his clean record and respect and giant, squishy heart. Well, it’s extra squishy now I pushed him off the road,” he laughs, eyes lighting with twisted delight.
“No,” you choke out. “You- no- you didn’t- tell me you didn’t do that to him, Chan,” you plead desperately.
Chan laughs and walks over to lean over you again, his left hand braced against the headboard and the other playing with the strands of your hair on the pillow beside your head. “If only you had believed me. If you hadn’t let him talk to you that day; if you had just kicked him out and come right to me like you were supposed to, it would’ve never happened, angel. You had me right there waiting for you and you picked that asshole and now guess what?” He looks at you with a bright, manic smile, eyes wide and shining with mirth you wish doesn’t exist. “He’s never fucking waking up, baby!” He beams, looking so proud of himself. “I made sure of that!”
You feel sick to your stomach.
It must show on your face because Chan’s own falls and he frowns at you. “Don’t look at me like that. This isn’t my fault.” He scoffs and backs up from the bed as that terrifyingly haunting look returns to his features. “I didn’t think I’d have to go this far; I thought you’d accept all those rumours and evidence I spent so much time, money, and effort planting. I bribed and blackmailed so many people the past months. Got the asshole fucking convicted and you still refuse to pick me.”
Chan sighs heavily, as if it really does pain him, before he pivots and walks to the door to open it, though he turns just enough to look back at you.
“I can’t tell if you’re too smart to believe all that or fucking stupid to still want to be by his side after all the accusations. Maybe he did brainwash your naïve little self.”
He stares at you for an unnervingly long moment as if he’s trying to figure you out and wondering what exactly Kyle did to earn your loyalty, and how exactly he can mimic it to make you his.
“Oh well,” he decides with a shrug, making you jolt at his sudden voice. “Not that it matters anymore because I’m not letting you leave here. If you’re not going to be mine on your own terms, we’re doing it my way.”
He closes the door after him, and you break with the sound of the lock clicking into place.
Tears roll down your cheeks and temples, soaking the soft pillow under your head as sobs tear from your chest. You keep tugging at the binds holding you down, yet they don’t budge.
You’re stuck here.
Even if you somehow escape your binds, there are bars on the window and a lock securing the thick wooden door.
You’re stuck here. For good.
Forever.
Stuck with the man you had trusted to look after you, to be by your side for a long time. You just never expected it to be like this. You as his prisoner; his little plaything to do with as he pleases until he gets bored of you and then… you don’t even want to think about it.
The sun slowly rises higher and higher into the sky and finally, you stop pulling at your binds, stop crying; out of energy and tears with your whole body hurting, yet nothing in comparison to the pain in your heart where it’s stomped into the wooden floorboards and covered in Chan’s footprints.
You dread the moment he returns. Dread having to live your life like this.
But you know you don’t have a choice. You’re his now, to do with as he pleases. You no longer have a choice in how your life goes.
The click of the lock disengaging sends fear racing through your tired body, adrenaline pumping, yet there’s still nothing you can do as Chan steps into the room with a tray in his hands and a smile on his face.
“Hi baby, it’s time for food! I made your favourite.”
As you watch him approach wearing that same cute smile that first drew you to him, all you can do is curse yourself for being so fucking naïve.
Don’t forget to reblog if you liked to help spread the story and let others read it too! And don't be shy to leave comments or send an ask so I can see your thoughts 🥺 💖
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I’m disappointed in this fandom.
Like the amount of hate the VA’s get for these shows is insane.
Can’t people just be mature about this and not spread their negative unwanted opinions about the shows.
Keep your negative opinions to yourself, you people hate on nice characters just because they did one bad thing and you tell the VA’s that their writing sucks or that they should write better.
These are fucking fnaf role play channels on YouTube, not some high rated tv show that costs money to watch.
You are the one who decided to watch these shows, if you don’t like the writing or the characters, don’t watch it, you don’t need to spread your opinion on how much you hate these shows when you can just not watch it, hell, you can block the channels so you don’t see any videos on your YouTube.
I am fucking 14 and I’m more mature than most of you.
These are real people that you’re telling that they write bad or the characters suck, they do this because it’s something they enjoy, and that can change real fucking fast. one day they can just quit, they could just delete the channels, then what? Think about it for a minute, that would mean you people just made the VA’s who just wanted to share something that they love, quit.
Think of it like this, there is a painting that someone made and they are sharing it with the world because they are proud of it, and you walk up to them and say the painting is bad, the colors don’t look good, the lines aren’t straight. this painting that someone put love and creativeness into, you just insulted, they spent time and thought on it and you just said that the art is bad.
It’s the same thing with the shows, they put time and thought into their writing and you flat out tell them the writing is bad, or the characters are bad.
Was anyone told as a kid, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all” you guys act worse than children, fucking grow up. Leave the VA’s alone, they did nothing wrong.
Hey guys please watch this clip created by JustALilKid taken from Davis' stream.
This community has gone so downhill one of the main, iconic and good people, Kat, is considering quiting.
All because we're greedy pieces of shits.
We gotta get our shit together friends, this is not fucking okay. Why do the VAs and ordinary people in the fandom keep having to deal with this crap?
Why can't people just keep hate to themselves?
What pleasure do they get out of saying in the public:
"Oh this is absolute garbage blah blah".
I'm sorry once again for opening my mouth, I don't know if anyone else will make a post about this. I have to thank my friend @sili-redwing for pointing this out on a group chat we have.
youtube
#tsams#the sun and moon show#sun and moon show#tsams sun#tsams nexus#tsams earth#tsams lunar#the lunar and earth show#lunar and earth show#tsams moon
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didn’t want to start mist discourse but i’m mad. i think this fandom has a rather glaring issue about how they treat female characters in general. so anyways a rant towards a few certain anons who have decided hating on mist is the new hot thing!
Mist Is A Good Character, Actually: Why This Fandom Needs to Treat Female Characters Better
(she likes to pick apples! good for her! …or are those tomatoes?)
i can tell that one of those anons never played the tellius duology simply because in a cutscene in the PROLOGUE mist is literally playing in a field of flowers??? the cutscene with the famous “ ‘bout time!” line from the questionable english dub??? established right off the bat is that she enjoys nature, confirmed by her official art above showing her with a basket of apples! listen i hate being a gatekeeper, the tellius games aren’t the easiest to emulate and physical copies are pricey, but come on. you can’t be sending anon hate when you barely know the characters. i’ve also seen someone talk about how her only trait is being ike’s sister??? what??? okay listen to me for a second. their mom is dead at the start of path of radiance. greil is still alive at this point. mists behaviour is a bit different from how she is in later chapters and in radiant dawn at this point, such as poking fun at ike and boyd. however, once greil dies, she breaks down, and is a lot more attached to ike from then on. she literally follows him into the final black knight fight in path of radiance. SOREN of all people stayed out of it and lord knows he’s with ike all the time. so don’t come at me with this “she’s just ike’s sister 🤓” stuff, she’s scared to lose him after losing both parents before she’s even an adult, because when greil went off to fight by himself, he died!
you also can’t just dictate whether or not a character is good because of a tiny list of what they like. that’s not how it works. mist is not a “mini housewife”, she is a fifteen year old who lost her mother at a young age and is one of two girls in the Greil Mercenaries before Mia joins - it’s pretty clear, to me at least, that that’s probably affected her and who she is as a character. the duality of a fifteen year old girl who enjoys playing in flower fields and teases her brother, but is also one of two girls in a male-dominated mercenary group, stuck doing most of the chores because aside from oscar being a cook, i can’t see people like boyd or gatrie coming in to help with the domestic stuff like sewing!
i would also like to add that i do agree that fire emblem is weird about character ages, but listen. stop getting mad about how she should’ve been ten years old or whatever. that’s not helpful when looking at a character from an analytical angle. use it to ask WHY the creators chose to design her that way or why she acts childish at times. my english teacher once said to us, nothing is by accident in a short story. the author has limited space to tell their story, so everything serves a purpose. why is this relevant? the same philosophy holds here, in my opinion. fire emblem is a series that has a huge cast of characters that all have to share that limited amount of screen time. when taking a look at someone’s character, you can’t just immediately write something off as the designers being silly. so why is mists age 15 when she looks and acts in such a way? to me, the designers wanted to show how she didn’t get the chance to grow up like most girls, raised in a place where she had to learn to take care of herself pretty fast, and she’s trying to hold on to what she has left of her childhood - when she had the time to focus on hobbies aside from domestic ones. this isn’t a knock on greil or titania or the other mercenaries, though; it’s just the nature of having to leave their base quite often, and i think mist had to find comfort in the small things that started off as chores, hence why they’re in her list of liked things.
this whole mist debacle has kinda exposed something within the fire emblem fandom that isn’t talked about much. yes this was only two anons who came after her, but it’s something i find prevalent with other female characters like deirdre. a lot of people don’t take the time to look into female characters and who they are, and write them off as being boring and having no personality. and i don’t think the guys of fire emblem get that same treatment at all. the fact that SHE was singled out in a cast of over 70 playable characters by radiant dawn is just nuts to me. “dragging down tellius”. the same games with a character who’s been called out for being a racist stereotype. and it just makes me angry that this kind of treatment of the girls of fire emblem goes unchecked a lot of the time. hyping up Lyn or whoever is generally perceived as a “good character” doesn’t mean you’re automatically exempt from contributing to fandom misogyny. and the reason i say this is because a lot of these fans don’t really care about taking a deeper look into the women. it’s a surface level glance at them. there’s a reason why micaiah used to be called a mary-sue. they just assume that they won’t be as “well-written” compared to the men. if you want to combat fandom misogyny, you have to uplift all women in the cast, and that includes women you think are uninteresting or bland, because there’s some really interesting stories being told that have been ignored. again taking the tellius fandom as an example: there are so many amazing female characters in the duology, like there’s Jill of course but they genuinely did a great job with so many of the women. lethe, elincia, micaiah, titania, almedha, ena, to name a few. and while yes, they’re generally regarded as good characters, they don’t get the same amount of love the others do - there’s hardly anyone digging into them and their motivations. and it’s criminal.
in conclusion, do better. mist isn’t a bad character. fandom misogyny runs deep, and the only way to fight it is to start appreciating the women of the series as characters, and to give them the same in-depth analyses the men get.
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Here we go with another match, this time for 🐻 Anon!
Another note, yes I’ve been gone for like two months.. Halloween season is a busy season for me every year since my dumbass decided to become a scare actor. Even better, I got sick right after! Yay! Now I’m back, I’m going to go on a marathon and get all the matches in my inbox out of the way.
TW - Toxic Replationships, Forced Affection, Torture, Guns, and Knives.
Your Boyfriend to Death matchup is… REN HANA !!
• This may have been an obvious one, but I think Ren is the best for you!
• Ren’s type is generally alt people. Anyone into nerd culture regarding media series definitely catch his attention first. Seeing an artsy, pinky person like you immediately makes him have heart eyes for you. I guess you could say he just wants an anime looking bf/gf/partner. Since you fit in that category, you got him pretty easily!
• Hazzah! You’re taller than him! Don’t think he’ll let you get away with bullying him about it. He’s a little bit self conscious, and will most likely punish you with the shock collar for it.
• As I mentioned before, Ren is a sucker for cute things. Seeing anything cute, especially something from you, can pull on his heartstrings. If you wear any anime related stuff, or even those Japanese lolita dresses, he’s going head of heels.
• He loves putting you and/or helping you pick in certain outfit. As you’d expect he loves seeing you in anime character cosplays, or just anything cute. Seeing you in lingerie is a special treat.
• Now uh.. about the bear thing. He might get mad jealous because as a beastkin fox, he’s nothing close to a bear. He might get a little lowkey offended, but it’s probably him just being bratty. He’ll get over it.. maybe.
• Unfortunately for you, Ren likes bringing up and doing the things you hate and fear, just to provoke you when you’re not feeling your best. Those little reminders showing you he’s in control are his favorite.
• While he’s mostly cheery, Ren seems to have the ability to go from 0 to 100 REALLY quickly. Some people might consider him the nicest out of all the candidates in BTD, but I like to think he’s equally as dangerous as the rest of them.
• Ren is calm when listening to you, which is good, although most of the time when you seek advice he recommends killing. Please don’t listen to him, or else he might invite his friend Lawrence over for a little fun.
• He thinks you’re super creative! All of your art makes him mesmerized. His form of art comes in the form of snuff films mostly, but I think he has a decent hand at art too.
• Ren most likely listens to anime intros, or alt electronic pop music. Think MSI or And One. I can see him vibing with your music though!
• He gives you all the sweets in the world to fulfill your sweet tooth, unless you’re bad for him. In that case he forbids you from sweets.
• He tends to talk about how much he loves you a lot. Uniquely for him, I feel like he’s the most loving out of all the guys. You tend to be high maintenance, and need reassurance, he’s your guy to remind you all the time of his love.
• He forces you to be close to him a lot. He’s always touching you, not always in hugs and kisses. Even having his claws a little ways into your flesh gives him the power boost he needs.
• Oh.. you like being abused? You already know loves fulfilling all of your naughty desires, exactly how you want them. Beg and cry all you want, once you make any sign at him for him to start, there’s no off switch until he’s says done.
• Ren is a little clinging and teasing. Like a fox, he’s sneaky and isn’t always truthful. He’s a king of manipulation, but.. this is what you wanted. I’m sure you’ve told him yourself, and now? He’s NEVER letting you go.
#self ship#horror#self ship community#matchups#boyfriend to death#matchup#boyfriend to death matchup#boyfriend to death x reader#ren hana x reader#ren hana
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pining for my long lost love to return to me (hades ii)
#hades game#thoughts#i only got into the game last august but i've SEEN early access playthroughs i KNOW that hades is as incredible as it is because of the#sheer time and effort and meticulous painstaking care that was put into it over the course of a very long time#but man oh man i wanna jump forward to like 2024 or whatever to when it's crafted the way hades is crafted now#i NEED to see what all the character art will look like#and the environment art#and the ui art#god the ui art and animation#watching the dev video on how charon's pool was animated...#GAH#i need to see those too bts content#and all the writingggggggggggggg#i wanna sit there way too close to my screen like an idiot dashing back and forth to see the different dash/attack/special/cast animations#whilst rotating mel in every direction to see how it looks from every angle#or walking at different speeds to control the environment animation#or pushing my mouse in the cornerest of corners when on pc to see the edge of the chamber art#i want to eat this game so bad and it'll be years before it's anywhere near thereeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#wanna see pro gamers smash through the game in like 20 min flat#wanna listen to the music during battle after battle and on the pause screen#i desire this game carnally#literally all it took was this announcement to make me this unhigned#how the fuck am i going to survive when they come out with early access#i sincerely doubt i'm going to be an early access player and i wanna avoid seeing stuff till the game's properly out BUT#how will i possibly resist the siren call#HOW#hades ii my love come home soon#wyk writ
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sympathy for cain
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#yuji itadori#ryomen sukuna#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#sukuna#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#and here i thought i had finally drawn smth that didnt need the spoiler tag but unfortunately nobara has her eyepatch smh#crazy tht i end up drawing sukuna of all people when im in this mood#havent drawn the guy in a while fr starters#also Not the character i would have thought to choose to process my emotions for me but it fits very well#dont read into it :)#i dont like this piece too much tbh like its fine its cool im just in a headspace n this has all of it in it#this is why i dont typically like to draw to vent bc then i cant look at the finished product without seeing all the feelsbad behind it#but whatever . maybe todays chapter will fix me#oh yeah 2 fv captions in a row bc thats what u get when im emo. shame/rotten goes hard fr sukuna/yuuji
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(almost) four years in, and I finally had time to draw something for the anniversary! woo! 🎉🎉🎉
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#because i need to talk for a minute about how the plot of the anniversary story so far is literally just#crowley jumpscares us in our living room to demand we make him lunch and yuu is just like 'i need to start locking the door'#oh twst you always know just how to get me#the qol updates though! CONVERTING SINGLE KEYS INTO 10-SETS YES THANK YOU OH MY GOD#SKIP LESSON TICKETS!!!!#3X BATTLE SPEED!!!!!!!!!!!!#SAVE TEAM BUILDS AND SUPPORT CARDS FINALLY AHHHHH#oh and some other stuff too but look i NEEDED these things#also master chef grim! he's so precious!#though he's not going to get a little sporty uniform after all?#grim canonically flies in the nude i guess#no it's okay chef grim is ADORABLE#if you zoom in on his card you can see little smoodges from his inexpert cake decoration 😭#which on the one hand is cute but on the other hand i'd been convinced he'd just slapped some frosting and candles on an actual can of tuna#anyway happy (a few days until the) fourth anniversary everybody!#i've been here since the beginning (preregistered during the dorm reveals babyyyy) and it REALLY doesn't feel like it's been four years#you know what they say: time flies when you're watching anime characters have emotional problems
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idk someone about bones or whatever
#should've just yoinked someone else's design and reference them#i feel like im drawing bloodhound/velahound/octane/omen/kayo/shaxx/kaiser all at the same time#i basically just look at a body part and see what my brain has for it and slap it on#probably the worst you can go for character design#doesn't have a lot of bones because i can't come up with any original design and i don't wanna actually search for any reference for ideas#oh well. i literally came up with this only when i need to draw his lineart for yesterday's comic so not exactly surprising#i love capes and mysterious hooded pure black shadowed head so not even gonna design a helmet for him#also solves the bone plug issue because for the love of void i can't even understand half of what ordan is saying#that's the consequence of giving all your skill points on mathy stuff and none on literature#i mean i guess the bone plugs are somewhere at or above the neck??? so it's gonna be covered up anyways#im probably gonna go for roughly this design for ordan karris for now#i feel like i shouldn't even let him talk because any dialogues i come up with ruins his image#but idk. how many cool and stern characters' image have i ruined up until this point? yeah definitely not the first time#warframe#warframe ordan karris#my art
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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Minalinsky is back!
Shikaco also came! She's also the one responsible for taking all the pictures lol
This tweet is what makes it even more wholesome
#why this suddenly looks like a ucchi fangirl post lol#didnt thought it would be this long but I need to attach all you gotta see everything!!#thank you ucchi....... i rly love it when µ's seiyuus still show their love to their character on a birthday like this I'm just too happy#maybe thats what gives me the energy to draw that only in 2 hours?? with colors??? i don't believe it myself#even faster than my previous kotori birthday drawing that took an endless hour#love live#minami kotori#minalinsky#uchida aya#sioneve art#muse#ucchi
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