#i LOVE talking about the negative qualities of characters

[artificialchaoscola]

Hello! I am so inspired by your fanfiction, it is amazing, great! I’m curiuse, what do you think about movie Sonic 3 and about Sonic and Shadow relationship there?? Maybe will you wtite something anout sonadow from Sonic 3? And what do you think about differece between movie Sonic/Shadow and comics Sonic/Shadow??

Thank you, I appreciate that!

Hm... That's a good question. I have seen the Sonic movies, and I do have thoughts on how the third handled their dynamic.

I should start with this and be upfront: I dislike the movies. There are things that they do well, and overall they exist to just be fun, but they also make changes to characterization and events that I don't appreciate. If being negative about these movies upsets anyone, I wanted to put this warning first so they can scroll on! (Also I'm sure half of this makes no sense so tolerate me, I am sleep-deprived!)

So first off, the differences between comic/game and movie Sonic and Shadow are substantial.

Let's start with Sonic:

Sonic in the games is meant to be much simpler. He is an anomaly of nature with an origin unknown. His carefree spirit, his love of the wind and adventure, his desire to help others... It's all simply who he is. In the same way Eggman's desires are straightforward in their cruelty, Sonic's are straightforward in their compassion. He doesn't care if he's seen as the bad guy and he doesn't care about being "the Hero". He will do what is right because it is right. He enters conflict one way and will leave said conflict in the same exact way, instead influencing the characters around him to change for the better. In the games since Sonic Colors, he has been more... snarky (?) over the more whimsical and "I say weird poetic shit that makes people think deep teehee~" dialogue the older games had, but overall this stuff has remained fairly consistent. That's about as easy as I can put it.

Online, you will see plenty of discourse over who Sonic is as a character. Now, I'm not a stickler regarding this kind of thing. I don't mind spin-off material changing up aspects of Sonic to better suit the story, even if they're not my favorite thing. Sonic Boom making him more egotistical and dry made sense for the comedy. Older cartoons like SatAM and Underground being written to follow how American cartoons approached characterization and humor also made sense, and in turn, it made sense why Archie Sonic was written in the way he was. In general, I like that these things exist on paper, even if they're not my cup of tea.

That all being said, Movie Sonic makes a lot of changes I just don't really like. While his exact origins are unknown, they've shaped his morality and desires off of the influence of Longclaw, his deceased mother figure. He struggles with doing "the right thing" because he wants to be a hero, but he's just a kid learning responsibilities. He's learning about the world around him and being taught through his relationships with Tom and Maddie. I guess, in a way, he is "learning" to be like the Sonic in the games. I think he's written like this so younger audiences have a character they can project onto. This makes perfect sense, as a lot of the nuances of Sonic's character from the games might be lost when translated into a movie format. People didn't really understand a lot of the qualities of Sonic X's Sonic for a long time, and the movies are much shorter than a show, so it all makes sense...

I just find it really boring.

Sonic as a character is very unique and multifaceted. Mysterious in so many ways, yet gives you a sense of hope in the darkest of moments. His influence on others, his worldview, his dynamics... They all feel so fascinating in the games. He appears simple, but beneath the surface, there is much to understand. Movie Sonic is basically a completely different character at his core with surface-level attributes of Game Sonic -- fast, quippy, might have ADHD but we haven't had the talk, "good", will always do "the right thing" in the end. And again, that's fine. I don't want to yuck anyone's yum! It's just not for me.

Now for Shadow:

Movie Shadow did NOT have enough screen time, so this is susceptible to change in the future, but personality-wise he seemed fairly consistent with his SA2 appearance which I appreciate. He is quiet, mourning, a bit sassy when he needs to be, lost in his pursuit of vengeance. They kept the theme of Shadow's loss of autonomy due to Gerald's influence, they highlighted the impact Maria had on his life enough for viewers to understand why he cared so deeply (while also correlating it to Sonic's relationship with both Tails and Tom in subtle ways, which is neat), they weren't afraid of making him appear sad. They even nodded to his insecurities about his alien DNA, an understated aspect of Shadow's character overall. Not to mention the "revenge = suicide" theme they didn't shy away from, which was a pleasant surprise.

However... I've tweeted about this before, but Maria's depiction in this movie and how it in turn changes parts of Shadow's character REALLY... REAAALLLLLLY aggravates me.

Shadow's entire character surrounded itself with the idea of identity and choice for years. Was he a weapon? Was he a cure? His creation in a lab for the "betterment" of humanity, a weapon for G.U.N. + the Black Arms, and as a cure for Maria... The core aspect of his own game was his realizing he had the potential to be ALL of these things, but it was up to him to decide. Not only about choice, but the fact that he himself should be the one to make said choice. That he cannot let others influence him in his choices. This is a huge part of the tragedy of his "death" in SA2. Maria's wish for him and Gerald's meddling with his mind symbolically kill him. His game is about reclaiming the loss of his personhood and putting the past behind him.

Movie Shadow's origins make him a being from space. He is not made in a lab, so he has no insecurities about curing Maria despite being supposedly "perfect." He is not on the ARK, detached from the world and planet his sister loved dearly, unable to fundamentally understand even a fraction of the normal life that was robbed from her (and him too, subtly). He is not a weapon for G.U.N., so he has no reason to be confused over the dichotomy of humanity's love and cruelty. He is not ALL of him, they've only made a fraction of him. He is fundamentally a weaker character because of this change.

(Also, just... writing Maria as not sick is a huge blow. Shadow Generations gave us a huge insight into how her illness affects her, how it pains both Gerald and Shadow to witness... Such powerful representation, only to remove it entirely from the movie. And then you go online seeing people praising Movie Maria over Game one because she got to have a montage where she played with Shadow... like that's not the WHOLE POINT of her character... that she can't BE a "normal" kid... There are kids out there playing these games who felt seen by her depiction in the games... One day I might go REALLY into this because it just offends me personally, but yeah, don't like it!)

Oh also I hated Gerald this movie. Everything about that. It's not Shadow related and I'm not as passionately angry about it as I am with Maria but I just needed to get that out there lmfao

Now for both Sonic and Shadow together:

For the few moments they had, they were cute! Shadow was depicted as a similar age to Sonic, which is great! They had Sonic trying to reach out to him constantly because he could see he was hurting, also great! Sonic having a moment of rage and nearly killing Shadow is... interesting BUT for the plot they set up, it made sense. I think Sonic going on a quest for revenge at the expense of his friends is like... incredibly generic and possibly the most boring route to take for him. Like for so many other protagonists this wouldn't be an issue, but this is such a not-Sonic thing to do in this way I couldn't help but laugh a bit when he and Knuckles were beefing. I understand what they were doing. It's just... That's Sonic talking to Knuckles. For movieverse, it makes sense don't get me wrong... I just laughed a little.

The scene they had on the moon was my favorite. Not only because relating Shadow to stars propaganda was going strong in my head, but I like that Sonic was the one to make him see that revenge wasn't the answer. In the games it's Amy in a different way, and I would never change that about the games, but for the Movieverse I like this. Very cute. It worked well for the changes they made to each character. It was also a great message on grief, even if it isn't how Sonic would convey this message in the games. I do want to write about this scene one day and why I liked it for the movies, but I want to rewatch the movie before I do so.

But yeah overall... Sonic movies are meh to me.

To answer your second question: I will likely not write a fanfic within the movieverse since I don't find it compelling. If inspiration ever strikes though then I'd be open to it, I'm just not really a fan and don't have any plans to do so as of now. Hopefully that all made sense!

[mr-payjay]

watching the nickel apology scene from the great bluish bakery over and over going completely insane. i could rewrite this to actually sound like nickel.

[mieczyhale]

@gay-jewish-bucky IT REALLY FUCKING IS. No matter what if it’s a canon gay couple it’s just not going to be good enough for the exact same people who complain about wanting more gay rep. Part of getting gay rep is accepting that we’re going to get rep for all kinds of gays, all kinds of relationships, all levels of relevance - not just the kind that some people want or deem acceptable.

We finally have what is, in my opinion, a pretty well balanced canon queer ship that isn’t just ~hints and eye contact~, that isn’t squeaky clean, that have meaningful conversations and show love and affection like it’s not a big deal. It’s treated on equal levels to any straight ship on the show and I think that’s a breath of fresh goddamn air tbh.

I know people are always going to complain, but this topic has gotta be one of the most annoying and most exhausting ones. People should be happy we get any kind of lgbtqa+ rep, and that that rep is getting not just more diverse over the years but better too. There’s never going to be Perfect Queer Representation and to bitch and hold out for it?? To nitpick the fuck out of every ship?? Why would you, y’know??

[atzual]

what your ateez bias says about you

if you take this seriously, that's on you. i'm just doing this for fun.

tw: heavy topics, language, roasting

*****

hongjoong: right. how's the desire to impress people and overworking yourself doing? i feel like what draws you in is his resilience, and that he is very dependable. you probably had a lot of moments where you were left to your own devices to work on something major, and are no stranger to burnout. you might be the kind of person to talk about your achievements and your work and everything you do a lot, maybe to seek validation (and maybe to cement that you have something others don't). on a softer note, you probably have a wide range of skills in a field you are interested in, and experiment a lot. generally are not afraid to go outside of norms to figure something out. so to see the qualities of a leader and innovator in joong is both comforting and inspiring to you. (bonus: you probably have a thing for clips of joong in the studio, don't you?)

seonghwa: you feel like you don't have anyone who you can actually trust with your thoughts and feelings, huh? people talk at you, not to you. you are a natural care-giver, are quick to give advice (also to bottle up someone else's negativity), often ignoring yourself. you might have lost the feeling of 'home' or of 'small but certain happiness', and might have some unhealthy coping mechanisms. on a brighter note, you are someone who can process emotions a lot more deeply than others and if there is anyone who can actually put themselves in another's shoes, it's you. i think hwa is a safe space to you, precisely because it is not all sunshine and rainbows. you connect with his battles, growth, and how he is accepting change and trying to find balance. (bonus: him getting excited about something is legit your therapy isn't it)

yunho: many acquaintances, few friends? i think you legitimately stopped believing in love. at least the mushy 'at first sight' and 'meet cute' and 'soulmates' kind of love. might be because of family-related things, or because of romantic relationships, but trust is a problem for you. you probably think negatively about yourself quite a bit and/or have/had a more pessimistic mindset. on the positive, i think you're really loyal when you find your people, and want to see them happy. you connect with people beyond love, you make connections that are made on living life together and going through things together. i think this is also what drew you to yunho - his perseverance, resilience, ability to smile in the face of hardship, but also his ability to navigate a lot of emotions as they come and deal with them in a healthy way. (bonus: his small expressions of affection/acts of kindness make you melt, right?)

yeosang: you've been through quite a lot, haven't you? i think you try to laugh a lot of it off or treat it lightly, but the demons eat away at you sometimes. you might be someone who burned out in/after high school, and generally does not have a good experience with school. might feel lonely even when you are not alone, sometimes just choosing to float in your imagination for comfort. often act tough or not quite like yourself to appear more like the you you have in your head. i think in part you kind of want to learn how to love the world like yeosang, and are really touched by his sweetness and his humor. you are a fighter and despite it all, do stay true to yourself and your values, and this is something that you find and adore in yeosang. you are drawn in by his ability to follow his dream, and his heart of gold. maybe your scars will turn golden too. (bonus: you probably have a mild obsession with his one-liners)

san: how are your boundaries, broken like the wall? you probably have some trouble with setting and/or maintaining boundaries, and so sometimes have people treading over you. you might feel like a side character in your own life, and so turn bitter and internalize a lot of negative energy. honestly on a brighter note i think you really do try hard for others, and go out of your way to try and make dreams happen for others, because it makes them and you happy. you cheer, you support and you truly show that you are on a loved one's team. I feel that what draws you to san is how he transformed himself in a healthy manner, and how he maintains a very clear circle of those he trusts, and is no stranger to kindly setting rules in place while still remaining sweet and respectful. he is a safe space for you both because he makes you smile with his stories and jokes, but also because he is adamant on keeping things in order. (bonus: his reaction to the merch donation story lives rent free in your mind)

mingi: got some problems with regulating emotions, maybe? be it hiding them until you burst or not knowing how to express them, i think this might be a challenge for you. you might have been exposed to something that made you believe that it is a sign of weakness or a risk. at the same time, you are logical, damn good at what you do, and when you face hard times you bounce back, even if it takes some time. i think you and mingi share the introspectiveness, and you like how thoughtful he is. you probably find comfort in how he shares happiness with others, and how he seeks closeness with loved ones. at the same time, there is something about how he transforms on stages that resonates with you - the power and confidence is something you want to work on and find more of in yourself. (bonus: your will never stop thinking about mingi's creative process monologues + freestyle mingi)

wooyoung: do people tell you you have a big personality, or that you are 'a lot' sometimes? i feel like you have your way of working, your way of thinking, but might have a hard time actually communicating that or adapting to different social environments. it might be because you're headstrong, or because you are in constant fight or flight mode and so are more rigid. at the same time i think you are diligent and very detailed with what you do, and are in fact attentive to others and might notice things others don't. i feel like what you admire in wooyoung is his ability to connect with others, while not losing himself or his values. you feel for his hardships, and he helps you learn how to be more loving and more open with expressing and accepting love. he is very much your candle. (bonus: you cried because of his interview + dance in that one show, didn't you?)

jongho: how many thoughts are spinning in your head? you might be an overthinker, slightly misanthropic, and on bad days might sink to having a victim mindset and ask the universe 'why me?'. you might have had to grow up too fast, or were controlled a lot as a kid - either way, your understanding and experience of freedom and maturity might be warped. at the same time you are reliable and are able to call things out for what they are. you might have also put a positive spin on the negatives and either used them as inspiration, grew from them, or taken a skill from them that you then generalized. i think jongho's humor and innate warmth is your haven, and his continuous self-development grounds you and motivates you to also try your best and think of ways to find the good in situations. i feel you might also resonate with his occasional shyness. (bonus: you often think about his emotional strength even when he talks about his concerns, don't you?)

[wisteria-lodge]

And now for a HP fandom question - do you have any thoughts on queercoding in the series and if JKR ever actually intended it, and then backtracked, or if it was always completely unintentional? I'm thinking specifically about Lupin and Tonks (as individuals, not as a ship) Inspired by your post about the intention vs how fans perceived Draco Malfoy. Thanks!

So the first thing I want to do is make a distinction between femme-coding and queer-coding. They're tropes with very similar histories, and a lot of works treat them as the same thing. But Harry Potter doesn’t, and I think we can chalk this one up to JK Rowling’s habit of grabbing aesthetics and visuals without really thinking through the history behind them. 

(Like - the goblins. She says she didn’t mean to write an antisemitic thing, and I actually do believe her. But did she use a lot of tropes and images with a long history of being tied to antisemitism? yes.)

So when I say “femme” I mean giving a male character traits stereotypically associated with femininity. Heightened sensitivity/emotionality, an interest in hair, clothes and being attractive, a love of lace/pink/frills, a dislike of violence and physical confrontation, and a preference for the soft power of manipulation, character assassination and poison - versus the hard power of direct confrontation and physical prowess. Are these things super stereotypical? Yes. But they’re ALSO traits you see all the time on male villains, especially ones that you don’t want to seem that threatening. Femme-coded villains show up a lot in children’s media, or as the Big Bad’s #2. They’re not meant to be heroic or sympathetic (since all these feminine traits are not desirable, especially for guys.) But they also aren’t scary, and you can pretty much always play them for comedy. 

For example: see almost every male Disney villain. And JKR was writing children’s literature in the 90s, so of course she’s pulling from the same zeitgeist as the Disney Renaissance. 

JKR loves herself a femme villain. The absolute gold standard is of course Lockhart - who wears pink, wants to start his own line of hair care products, is self-centered, vain, obsessed with popularity… but he sucks in a fight. His entire MO involves manipulating people into thinking he has these traditional masculine qualities when he just doesn’t. But there’s also fussy, prissy Percy wearing his prefect badge on his pajamas. Bitchy, emotional mean-girl poisoners Draco and Snape (especially early book Snape - which is Snape at his most villainous.) Draco, Percy and Snape are also unusual for being male characters who we see crying for reasons other than grief. 

Lucius Malfoy is an interesting case because he starts off quite masc. He’s threatening to curse people, the governors are scared of him, etc. But, as the books go on… and he gets less powerful… he also gets more femme. When we meet him in Book 5 he’s no longer threatening people, but bribing them, spreading rumors, and giving interviews to the Prophet casting Arthur Weasley in a negative light. He's also getting really into peacocks. In Book 2 he was a major threat, but as he gets recast as Voldemort’s #2 he becomes a more femme, soft-power villain. When he leads the attack on the Department of Mysteries, he absolutely bungles it, which defines his character (and relationship with Voldemort) for the rest of the series. And it makes sense that Lucius is given this kind of treatment! It’s a way of communicating that there's a new villain in town, a real villain. 

So, are any of these femme-coded villains additionally queer-coded? I’m actually going to say no. Queer-coding is (like it says on the tin) finding ways to imply that your character is specifically gay. Like maybe giving them a same-sex relationship that is written romantically, but not explicitly called out by the text. Or pairing up all of the characters except them. Maybe have other characters joke about them being gay, and use that as a way to talk about the subject with some plausible deniability. Or they could just play suggestively with a cigar, or a walking stick. There are different strategies.  

But Lockhart doesn't get any of that. Honestly, I think that if JKR actually thought of him as gay, she would have been a lot more wary about a scene where he keeps Harry alone with him in his office for way longer than he’s supposed to. And she might have skipped this joke: 

“Harry was hauled to the front of the class during their very next Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson, this time acting a werewolf (...) “Nice loud howl, Harry — exactly — and then, if you’ll believe it, I pounced — like this — slammed him to the floor — thus — with one hand, I managed to hold him down — with my other, I put my wand to his throat (...) he let out a piteous moan — go on, Harry — higher than that — good —” 

Like. At least she would have picked a different word than “moan,” right? Which unfortunately has slightly sexual connotations. Especially if she wanted to keep Lockhart a buffoon, to properly set up the twist at the end. 

Slughorn also gets femme-coded in a similar way: he loves his candy, his parties, his smoking jackets, his lilac silk pajamas, his web of connections he can use to get stuff (Lucius style.) We are introduced to him squatting in specifically a “fussy old lady’s” house. He’s also unusually emotional, getting weepy at Aragog‘s funeral. But I don’t think we’re meant to read him as actually gay, or else his relationship with Tom Riddle might’ve read a little too close to Tom seducing/trying to seduce him. Which is a beat JKR does subtly play out with Hepzibah Smith, but idk. by that point at least Tom is a legal adult.

(As a side note - the Harry Potter series got so lucky that all of its adult characters are played by absolutely top-shelf actors who are aware of the connotations and history behind various symbols, and do consider these things in their performances. Kenneth Brannagh and Jim Broadbent are good enough to make sure there’s not even a hint of iffy subtext when they play Lockhart and Slughorn.)

Draco, Snape, and Percy all have a case of the not-gays. Percy has a girlfriend (we don’t really see her or anything, but we’re told she’s there.) Snape of course gets his whole thing with Lily, and Draco… after one too many beats where it’s clear that Pansy is into him, but he’s not into Pansy…  gets a scene where he’s talking to his buddies with his head in her lap. (JKR uses “no one‘s good enough for me” beats with Blaise, Draco and Sirius, and the idea there seems to be more that they have undeservedly high opinions of themselves, and less that they don’t like girls.)

But, I do agree that a lot of JKR's characters do come across as a little more queer than intended. It boils down, I think, to the general lack of any kind of romance in the Harry Potter books and JKR being generally bad at/uncomfortable with writing male attraction directed at women, BUT being perfectly happy writing attraction directed at pretty guys. And because of that… yeah, it can sometimes feel like maybe Harry has a thing for Cedric. Especially when Dudley goes on to tease him about Cedric being his boyfriend, which I believe is the only actual mention of gay people in the entire series.  

So is there any intentional queer-coding in the book? It’s really subtle, but yes. I think Dumbledore is queer-coded. He is unusually emotional/cries unusually often for a Rowling guy. He is also given a scene which emphasizes his “flamboyantly” cut plum-velvet suit, and his relationship with Grindelwald is implied to be romantic for one book and two movies before being actually confirmed in Fantastic Beasts 3. (With the line of dialogue “I was in love with you.” Big step up from “We were closer than brothers.” which is an odd thing to say about someone you are interested in romantically.) 

But you brought up Tonks and Lupin, two characters very commonly interpreted as queer. So let’s get into that. JKR has said that she considers Lupin’s lycanthropy to be a metaphor for stigmatized diseases like AIDS. And… as incredible as it is to say… I actually do not think that she made the jump from there to thinking that maybe the character suffering from AIDS should be gay.

Because the narrative places so much weight on Lupin being bitten young and then on maybe not being allowed to attend school, I’m pretty sure that he’s not intended to be queer so much as he’s meant to be Ryan White, the literal poster child for AIDS activism who got infected via blood transfusion when he was two. Tragic, absolutely. But not gay. Honestly, I hope JKR was thinking of ‘lycanthropy’ as a metaphor for stigmatized illness in the abstract and not as a comment on gay people specifically. Because otherwise, Greyback’s thing about biting children becomes a mash-up of two of the biggest homophobic boogeymen from the 80s: gay men infecting people with AIDS on purpose because… idk, they hate the world or something. And the influence of gay men somehow “turning” children gay. Both absolutely real, if ridiculous, moral panics.

On top of that, Remus and Sirius do get a pretty clear case of the not-gays early on (“He embraced Black like a brother.”) Buuuut Alfonso Cuarón did think through those implications for Movie 3, absolutely saw Lupin as gay, and directed David Thewlis to play him accordingly. No reports confirming or denying whether Alfonso Cuarón ships Wolfstar, but I think that if I’m an actor trying to make sense of Lupin’s motivations… and I know he didn’t show Dumbledore the Marauders’ Map and didn’t tell anyone Sirius was an animagus… and then I’m told my character is gay… well. Anyway, I think there are absolutely hints of Wolfstar in that performance. 

And there's Tonks. Tonks is introduced during a very spooky segment in Book 5: Harry has been going through it, been left alone at the Dursleys while having what sounds like a depressive episode. It’s dark, he hears intruders. It's a really good piece of writing. But JKR knows that it’s the good guys who are coming and thinks, okay. Let’s make that as clear as possible from the word go. And so the first thing Harry sees is Tonks' pink hair. And what kind of person has pink hair? A young adult. A punky young adult. And what power would a teenager think was cool? Well, the ability to change the color of their hair at will. That, by itself, would have worked perfectly fine for this character.

But then (for reasons best known to herself) JKR goes further. Even though Tonk’s hair changing color is easily 90% of the transformations we see and there is no plot reason her appearance needs to change more than that, we see her drastically change her age and body type. When you think about this power for more than five seconds, it becomes kind of OP. For worldbuilding reasons alone, my instinct would’ve been to tone it down a bit. 

But no, we have this counterculture character who seems interested in her career and not in a relationship, who can easily change anything about her body, and (if her ability works anything like Polyjuice) that means she should definitely be able to change her gender. Cool.

Then, in everyone’s least favorite romance, Tonks and Lupin are paired up. I have heard the argument that this was meant to walk back queer-coding, or to punish people who thought they were queer... but I don’t think that’s the case. I don’t think JKR expected these two to be fan favorites, and then was kind of surprised when everyone wanted to hear about their continuing adventures. 

(There are a handful of characters who JKR clearly really enjoys - and really enjoys writing - that fandom honestly could not care less about. Mundungus Fletcher and Ludo Bagman spring to mind. But the reverse is also true. She had one story for Lupin and people wanted to see more. Tonks is probably supposed to be her comment on immature young adults: she is loud, in your face, causes mild destruction and is “a little annoying at times.” But the fans fell in love with her.) 

So JKR has these two fan favorite characters and nothing for them to do. A romance is something for them to do. JKR also has a kind of weird pattern where good people need to either have kids or take care of kids. It’s not good to be a woman who isn’t involved with taking care of children in some fashion: see Rita Skeeter, Dolores Umbridge, Bellatrix Lestrange. This is also (I think) why Harry names his kids specifically after Severus, Sirius, and Albus. Since they’re good men, JKR had to find a way to give them kids after the fact. 

So yeah. I think we were meant to read Tonks and Lupin having a kid as kind of a reward, or at least as proof of their intrinsic goodness. There also just isn’t another guy in the right age range to ship Tonks with. The only other option is Sirius. 

(Harry in the books and Lupin on Pottermore both suspect that Tonks/Sirius is a thing. Completely forgetting, I guess, that they're cousins.)

[tadpole-apocalypse]

so what’s your verdict on veilguard? Seems like you’re not a fan

Putting this under a read more because I am going to be brutally honest about how I feel and it’s extremely negative.

I hate this game. I haven’t played past the middle of act 2 (whenever the second meeting with the inquisitor is) and I have no desire to pick it back up now. I feel like I’m in mourning for the game I wanted, the one that was canceled and now I’m in my anger phase of my grief.

I feel lied to and tricked by BioWare. I thought, well with everything going on and all the delays and restarts it probably won’t be as good as Inquisition, but at least I can count on them for a fun role playing game and romances. I didn’t get either of those things, and in fact those two aspects were so poorly done it is astounding to me that they felt this game was ok to ship like this.

They told me this was the most romantic BioWare game and considering the heights I experienced with BG3’s romances (Astarion and Lae’zel’s romance and character arcs will live in my heart forever) I had high expectations. Instead I got a tepid non romance where I only learned I was dating someone by the Inquisitor mentioning it off hand. The lucanis romance gave me nothing; no story, no drama, no spite, no romance. There is no slow burn here, this is a NO BURN.

Apparently his romance scenes aren’t even unique to Rook and are also used for Neve which is insane to me. Romancing him makes me feel like a creep trying to bully my subordinate into a relationship.

Even the better romances are horribly under developed. 18 minutes of romance content is PATHETIC. They hyped up these romances!!! They knew they were lacking and marketed them in a way I feel is very slimy and misleading!

My other major sticking point is everything with the Dalish. I hate hate hate everything about how they’re handled and barely involved in a story of their own gods; they should have had a scene of an Arlathvhen where the clans meet up to discuss these new revelations, causing some clans to side with elgar’nan and ghilan’nain. But BioWare was too cowardly to have enemy Dalish and put them up on a high shelf away from their own story and mythology.

There’s so many little things that start to add up and impact my enjoyment. It’s not just those things but a lack of attention to detail of their own world. No new tavern songs, inconsistent accents, lack of meaningful roleplay options, the overly modern way of talking, the themes of religion and faith being completely absent, everyone being very blase about being in the fade physically, no sandal and bodahn…

They should have designed all the Evanuris, or at least Andruil. I have wanted to see her void/blight armor forever. Having them just already be dead of sadness because their arch demons died is very much a let down. 😤

I do think the game has redeeming qualities but these grievances I have far outweigh any of my enjoyment, for now. I’ll revisit it later once my head has cooled and see if I feel different later.

That said I have plenty of mutuals who are loving and enjoying the game and what it gives and I am glad that they are able to get something from it. I always like seeing people be creative and making their own stories and I hope for them it was the game they wanted and I really wish I could share that sentiment.

[thunderwingdoomslayer]

I’m seeing a lot of discourse about people getting upset when people call stede cringe cringe fail etc. a lot of stede fans do because we identify with him and have been through what Stede has. People around him cringe at his earnestness or fish out of water qualities. We feel that too. We joke and call him that as a way to take power away from those insults and own them! If a character I cherish does this I can cherish myself too!!

People use humor to feel better about talking about insecurities. We take criticisms or put downs and take the negative judgement away and make it an objective reality about ourselves. People may use them derogatorily but it’s not how I feel about it!!!

So when I myself ever say he’s cringe or any other flaw I’m not saying it with distain or pity. I’m saying it as I clutch my chest and pump my fist in the air. I love Stede so much ❤️❤️❤️

[natasha-in-space]

Unironically, I think that Saeyoung would enjoy carrying his S/O around in his arms the most out of all mysmes characters. Take a moment to think about it. He knows he's in good physical shape. But nobody else does. He avoids talking about it or showing it off. It's a rather big contrast compared to his other skills and accomplishments he loves bragging about in the chatrooms, even if he often muddies the truth to keep everyone safe from his true identity. And when someone does notice the defined muscle in his arms, he's rather dismissive of it. A strange: 'Oh, yeah, I got some muscle' attitude, before he casually switches the subject. I kind of feel like he has very negative connotations about his own physical strength.

Saeyoung is a protector. It's his best AND he's worst quality simultaneously. As a child, he was too weak to protect Saeran. He used his brain, not his muscle. Now, he's a grown man. A strong, grown man who's probably much more capable of protecting someone physically when push comes to shove. But instead that strength is utilized by him for shady jobs at best, and downright horrible crimes at worst. His strength does no good for him. But he's forced to maintain it nonetheless. To remain alive. In order to protect Saeran, he needs to remain alive. To protect his brother not with his muscle. But with his brain.

Now, imagine this. His perspective on himself changes greatly when you come into his life. You help him believe in himself, to fight for what he thinks is right, to have hope into the bright future where he actually deserves to be happy and free, along with his family. He has viewed himself as nothing but a fraud, a forever tainted fallen angel, but you make him see the good and earnest man inside him that has always been there.

And with you, he can use his muscles for good, for the first time in his life. He can make you smile, squeal, and giggle in delight as he effortlessly sweeps you off your feet and twirls you around, joining you in your fit of laughter. He can help you carry the groceries on the way to his car, such a simple and mundane gesture, but one he finds himself enjoying almost too much. He can make you feel safe as he carries you up to your shared bedroom, since you can just relax and nuzzle into him without any worry in the world.

Because he's got you.

I'm skeptical that Saeyoung will stick to the same workout routine he had to follow while being an informant. Once his father is out of the picture and he knows his family is safe, he can allow himself to relax. Indulge a little. But I do think he'll maintain some of his muscle mass, specifically in his arms. As time passes and you settle into the quiet life of domestic bliss he's always dreamed of, his shape will become more supple and round, but his arms will always be there to remind you that he'll forever be your anchor.

And for him to remember that his strength can now be used to make someone happy.

[amaltheas-garden]

What's your take on Dany being a misunderstood villain in the books? How much likely is it that she won't be the Mad Queen and will not get dark dany?

To answer your second question, dark Dany is almost a guarantee for the books. One of the most unique aspects of Dany's characters is that she is a woman fulfilling the role of an almost exclusively male archetype: the corrupted hero turned villain. She begins the story as an underdog we want to root for, she comes from a great noble bloodline and her family has been terribly wronged (from her pov), and she decides to use the power she does gain to do good. Her character arc could end right there and she'd go down as one of the best written heroes in the fantasy genre. However, her story does continue, and we see her grow increasingly frustrated by her own lack of abilities in enacting the change she wishes to see. We watch Dany make compromise after compromise until she's had enough and decides to embrace her fire and blood side if it means gaining enough power to exert control over her society and mold it how she sees fit. Even if her intentions began noble, the endless pursuit of greater and greater power, represented by the growing size and danger of her dragons, will be what corrupts her. It's impossible to think that grrm, the guy who's favorite thing to write about is the corrupting nature of violence and the negative impact the exertion of unrestrained power has on the perpetrator, would write a series about how thee most powerful character was actually justified in her pursuit because... she wants to do good? My interpretation of Dany's "fatal flaw" has always been a need to control her surroundings, stemming from the horrific abuse she endured as a child and later wife, and why I think she does have genuine compassion for the enslaved people of Essos; what could be a worse fate than not controlling your own life? And this is where her love of fire and dragons comes from. Dany describes fire as a cleansing force that makes her feel powerful and new, and the dragons are manifestations of her desire for ultimate freedom. While her dragons are quite small and Dany is still coming into her power as queen, we see more restraint in how she fights her battles, how she negotiates, and how she governs, all while wishing her goals of widespread societal change could happen right then. Now that her dragons have grown large and powerful and restless, we will likely see a Dany with far fewer qualms about using them to get what she wants. And after this goes well for her, her restraint will begin to dwindle. After all, if she can use dragon power to instantaneously get what she wants and change things for the better, why should she approach conflicts any other way? But as we've seen with Cersei, fire is a wild, uncontrollable substance that spells destruction wherever it touches. Dany's enemies have all been one note cartoon villains in how evil they are, and every time one gets taken down, it only bolsters our (and Dany's) belief in her righteousness. I think this is very intentional on grrm's part, as part of his whole gimmick and why people like his writing is his incredible ability to add a level of nuance and even empathy to the most minor and despicable characters. I see no reason why that quality should be so utterly lacking in the characters of Essos if not for the fact that grrm very much wants us to cheer Dany on as she crushes her enemies, only to pull the carpet out from under us when suddenly she is face to face with Westerosi characters we know very well, and would prefer not to see die by dragonfire. Season 8 might have been shit, but Tyrion's speech was on point. In short, Dany's desire to exert control via an uncontrollable power will be her downfall.

As for the first question, by "misunderstood villain" I'm assuming we're talking audience perception, in which case... yes and no. I think Dany is a perfectly understandable misunderstood villain because grrm makes a point to show every step of her character's evolution in the transition from frightened girl to possible savior, and finally a tragic villain. Some readers reject the "villain" characterization altogether, and there's really no way to validate one interpretation over the other until TWoW comes out (lol). I will say, I do think most hero-Dany analyses have tunnel vision when it comes to her and an unwillingness to see the writing on the walls, for what a lot of us see as a very slow, well thought out, and GRADUAL corruption arc.

[animehideout]

Your MBTI, Your Relationship With JJK Characters Part 2.

Read part 1

part 3

part 4

a/n: Currently working on the other requested mbti types, they'll be included in the coming parts ✨.

Thank you @goofbye @wakatsukikanae @zoldyi for requesting INFP, and @lostmymarblesstuff for requesting ISTP. I really really hope you like them though. 😭🫶🏻💖.

INFP:

Choso Kamo = Fiancé

Both of you find solace in each other's arms, you don't need to vocalize your love since your energy alone is capable of conveying the love, admiration and respect you have for each other. He appreciates the idea of becoming a family and building a home together filled with familial warmth. He's also a good listener whenever you vent. You accept each other for who you truly are without faking anything. You are both authentic and genuine. You show your love through acts of service, so he enjoys cooking your cravings for you.

Toji Fushiguro = Enemy

You have no respect for people who lack empathy or compassion, and Toji is one of them. He's vile, hostile and manipulative. He is the complete opposite of you. You have a strong sense of justice, fairness and sensitivity so Toji's actions trigger a strong negative reaction out of you. He is a threat to your values and peace, so you can't help but develop an enmity. He sees you weak for including your emotions so he always tries to change you into his liking or simply provoke you.

Toge Inumaki = Bestfriend

Most of your Hangouts are at home where you sit comfortably enjoying the peaceful quietness. You understand each other's emotions and troubles. He provides a safe space for you to express yourself, he takes your feelings into account and never judges you. He enjoys sitting comfortably while you talk about your dreams and thoughts. You inspire him a lot and he appreciates that you trust him enough to share personal things with him. He makes you feel that it's okay to be different as long as you are true to yourself.

Megumi Fushiguro = roommate.

You respect each other's personal space and that what made you good roommates, living under the same roof peacefully without any obstacles. At first you found difficulty to get into conversations or just hang out together at home; given that both of you are introverts. So you just limited yourself to small chats, but you grew to enjoy each other's presence and chill together. Both of you share similar standards for cleanliness so you divide tasks to keep your shared space tidy. Despite growing closer and more comfortable, the boundaries that both of you had set are still sacred. It is easy to live with Megumi.

ISTP

Toji Fushiguro= Husband.

The powerful duo, a thrill-seekers. Toji is the perfect match for you. You have mutual qualities such as using the power of mind, pursuing financial success and enjoying the spontaneous adventures. You have a healthy marriage life, following a pragmatic and rational approach. He is attracted to your determination and mindset, even after being married for too long he still looks at you with the same admiration and love he has for you since the first time he had laid eyes on you. Flirts a lot with you and drowns you in compliments. Your honeymoon was a thrilling and exciting experience literally risking your lives but you enjoyed every bit of it. You are attracted to his straightforwardness and cleverness also to his teasing and playful side. At some levels he doesn't take life too seriously but instead he faces it with humor and mockery. He is the perfect husband for you.

Yuta Okkotsu = Has a crush on you.

He would find himself uncontrollably attracted and drawn to you. The way you reasonably handle things, issues and conflicts impresses him. He also admires your independence and self-sufficiency, you are mentally strong and intelligent. And despite being introvert and reserved he would be surprised by how quick you can adapt to different situations and how you enjoy the thrill of new experiences and adventures. It leaves him blown away and intrigued by you and without hesitation he would develop a powerful crush.

Nanami Kento = Colleague.

You equally share a mutual respect for each other's skills. Both of you hate working overtime so most of the time you blend your competences to get done early with the work. You have a formal and professional kind of relationship which is task-oriented. Your emotions are put aside while working together. What matters is that you succeed in reaching your goals or solve problems. You are an effective team and can work in harmony.

Maki Zenin = Bestfriend.

You feel comfortable enough around Maki to enjoy engaging with various activities with her. Most of the time you train together. Maki has a strategic planning so she always comes up with interesting plans for both of you to enjoy, on the other hand you are a spontaneous person, so you make life more fun and full of surprises. You make each other even more stronger; both emotionally and physically. You keep each other stable and on track, focusing on your goals. Both of you are independent so you only provide emotional support, words of encouragement and comfort.

This piece of writing is just for fun, also it is imo, so it's not necessarily accurate 🫶🏻

[machveil]

Beautiful, cute, dulzura, A quick question, do you have any advice for drawing? I see your drawings and I just fell in love with them, I just started drawing again but it's difficult...

I don't know, sorry, English is not my first language, using translator jiji 🤎🍁

(note: this post is long, grab a snack lol) ah! no problem, don’t worry about the translator haha (pinterest link - this is my masterboard for human references! I’ll talk about it more below)

I think my best advice for anyone wanting to draw is to break down your piece into shapes! (also, depending on your style, using different line weights)

from my experience, while looking at the whole reference is good, it’s easier to break down individual parts! while some parts can look complicated, a lot of things can be broken down into triangles, squares, and circles (or half circles)

I focus on character art, so I’ll be speaking about that - but it can applied to scenery and objects too. a lot of characters clothes are broken up into colored articles already - in the top reference, Ghost has a red bandanna on his arm! that bandanna helps break up his arm: the top near his shoulder is triangular, the bandanna itself is overall rectangular, and the bottom of his sleeve is a square

of course, depending on how you’re posing the character it can change the angle of what we’re seeing - there’s also an accommodation that your art probably won’t be a 1-to-1 copy with your reference. Ghost’s right arm (bandanna) has a white rolled up sleeve - while the model’s sleeve is square, I prefer to draw rolled sleeves more triangular

I think line weight is also important depending on your style! I prefer thicker lines around the entire character, and defining qualities also get thicker lines

I like thinner lines inside the character to help define dimensional shape and form. I use thicker lines on the inside of the body if there’s a shape/area that’s more in the foreground - example: König’s chest and midsection have thick line art to help differentiate from his left arm (behind his body)

I know a common piece of advice is to use real life references, and I agree… but, I never hear people talk about how to use references in a way that actually helps (“just draw from real life”, or “drawing with a reference is good practice”). I experienced that and wasn’t able to take anything away for years!

within the past year or so I seriously took a look at how using references can help me, so I want to try and talk about that - if I had trouble learning from references I’d wager someone else has

here’s my best example of using a reference because I actually remembered to! I labeled the figure to make it a little easier to follow

(1) my first tip is using a reference to figure out how the body ‘flows’. the human body has a lot of soft, rounded lines when you look at a picture - very few things are legitimately straight and sharp. I used the reference specifically to figure out how men’s pecs are shaped (of course, this is just one reference… because this is my headcanon for König’s body type haha)

(1) looking at references can help you understand how muscles move. in the reference with the woman, you notice how her right arm (down) muscles are layered - the shape portrayed by the reference lets you see how an arm’s muscles might be laid out in that position

(2) my second tip from the König reference is to look at negative space! the highlighted red portion between the arm and midsection is roughly the same negative space as the reference. if you’re using a reference and something feels off with the placement of what you’ve drawn I’d recommend looking at the space your reference takes up

(2) the negative space trick helps me line up where proportions should meet up - the distance between her arms lets me gauge how the rest of her body should be proportioned

(2) while it doesn’t match up 1-to-1 with the reference when layered overtop, it doesn’t have to! the negative space between the arms was enough for the sketch to mimic what the reference looks like. art doesn’t have to be a 1-to-1, but negative space can help you figure out ‘why does that arm look funny?’, “that arm looks funny because, compared to the negative space of your reference, it’s too (far away/close) to the body.”

(3) my last tip is the simplest, so I’ll just be referring to the König figure! when using references I look to gauge the distance between different body parts - it helps me get more realistic proportions. the bit I specifically compared to was the man’s stomach placement compared to his waist. I didn’t copy it 1-to-1 because I like the idea König has more of a tummy, but the reference allowed me to figure out an anatomical placement for where König’s stomach would be compared to his waist

I hope my advice wasn’t terrible haha everyone’s art journey is different, but these are tips I would have liked to know a few years ago (specifically the reference material ones lol). I wanted to focus more on the reference material because when people say ‘just use a reference, it’ll help’ it didn’t do it for me

I personally needed a more in depth explanation on why I would use a reference, what should I be looking at - because just drawing a person doesn’t necessarily help, and how should I be learning from it - I accidentally taught myself negative space before I knew what it was

but uhm… yeah, I hope this wasn’t awful! good luck on everyone’s art journeys, just remember that you’re allowed to take your time and try different things

if you guys have any other questions about my art feel free to jump into my inbox; process wise, inspiration, etc - I’ll answer anything I can<3

[shok-oy]

november. 06, 2024

twd characters x male reader. headcanons. masterlist

✒️ ... prompt : their love language/s pt. 1

[ alexandria editon ]

rick grimes

- acts of service & physical touch

the man is always exhausted after a day's worth of putting out fires around the community, solving everyone's problems little by little, and slowly shaping the people of alexandria into a strong community. all he wants to do after a long day is rest, usually on the couch. that's where you come in; help him out of his boots, give him a nice pillow to rest his head on, he'll lay on your lap later and let you feed him. sometimes he'll talk; complain about how his day went, sometimes he'll just be quiet, enjoying your presence. if you run your fingers through his hair or massage his chest, watch as he just melts away, he becomes absolute putty in your hands.

carl grimes

- quality time

ever since the group arrived in alexandria, carl was sort of... left to his own devices. you and him both. while his father encouraged everyone to explore, meet the members of alexandria, you and carl would often sneak out past the wall and venture into the forest where you two would stay until the sun begins to set, reading comics from cover to cover, twice. carl often enjoys the silence, choosing to simply bask in your presence, but he wouldn't mind if you yapped his ear off. he just likes spending time with you, knowing that you were safe and happy and the two of you could just be happy together.

glenn rhee

- gift giving & words of affirmation

glenn knows what you like; even if you had only mentioned it once a long time ago, glenn would remember it for years to come. everytime he'd go out on a run, he always made sure to bring back something for you; a trinket, an accessory, anything that reminded him of you. "i thought you'd like it." is what glenn would always say. he was always right. glenn is an optimist through and through,but there are times when he'd think negative thoughts, wondering what could go wrong, pondering on people who could get hurt, and whatnot, but he always bounces back easily as soon as you talk to him. you're the person he trusts most in the world, and if you tell him things will be alright, that he's the strongest man you know, he'll believe you.

daryl dixon

- quality time

daryl isn't very expressive or clingy, but of all things, he enjoys the time he spends alone with you. just knowing that you're by his side, you have his back and he has yours, is enough for him. he enjoys a quiet stroll through the forest or a ride on his motorbike with no particular destination in mind, just you and him on his bike on the open road is enough to fulfill him.

abraham ford

- physical touch

abraham can easily go off the rails, lashing out on everyone around him when he's pissed off, but one touch from you, and he's like a tamed dog. a good slap to the face from you easily snaps him out it (if someone else would do this, he'd get even more pissed off). he likes holding you in his arms, and he absolutely adores it when you're just drawing invisible patterns on his skin with your fingertips. he likes having you close, always having an arm around your shoulders or your waist, and he would absolutely adore it if you lean your head on his chest or on his shoulder; it makes him feel powerful, and needed.

ron anderson

- quality time & words of affirmation

ron hasn't had it easy. his father was an asshole to him, his brother, and his mother, but he couldn't do anything about it. what was a kid like him supposed to do against his father? thankfully, your untimely arrival on alexandria brought him a sense of comfort. he doesn't like staying at his house, it wasn't a home, but for him, you were his home. hearing reassuring words from you was enough to keep him going, but he kept his father's abuses from you for as long as he could. but when you found out, you gave him a piece of your mind, and when you tried to do the same to his father, ron stopped you. he feared his father would take him from you, so he would endure... just for you.

heath

- acts of service

heath likes to do things for you, he always tries goes above and beyond. the apocalypse may have limited how he showed his love and adoration for you, but trust me, heath would find a way. but heath always seems to malfunction when you're the one doing things for him. volunteering to drive, or to stay up for night watch, or carrying his heavy bag... sometimes, heath would pretend to struggle when carrying his things just so you would come over and help him. he would always enjoy the sight of you walking away with a heavy bag on your back while carrying two heavy boxes of supplies without so much as breaking a sweat.

aaron

- physical touch

aaron likes to stay close to you at all times. when out looking for survivors to bring back to alexandria, there was always danger lurking around in every corner. aaron would never admit it, but whenever he's scared, he likes to hold your hand. he says he does it so you two don't get separated... but then again, that is his biggest fear; getting separated from you forever. he's big on kisses too; and he absolutely loves it when you hold his face with your hands and plant kisses all over his face, especially after you shave his beard for him.

~ shokoy ☆

[kingdoms-and-empires]

Adoriel's Tears Review

I recently had to go travel and read a few works that I never got around to reading but was interested in.

PLEASE REMEMBER THIS REVIEW IS DONE BY ME AS A READER AND IS MY OWN OPINION.

This means I will review in accordance to my own tastes, how the game caters to me, and what I feel. Do not take my word as gospel, what I may not be interested in or dislike, may be what YOU are interested and love!!!

@adoriels-tears-if

Synopsis:

Adoriel's Tears are a gift.

A light offered to the inhabitants of Terrybiël to end the conflicts that oppress the Four Peoples and eradicate the evil that was crawling on the continent.

But every light has its shadow and sometimes gifts are poisonous. For if magic comes from the heart, it takes a soul to master it, and fortunate are those who manage to find it. Without a counterpart, without a familiar, a Tear is nothing.

Just a curse. A child of madness. The darkness on Terrybiël. What must be destroyed before they destroy you.

Adoriel's Tears are a gift. At least for the others.

You're long past the point where your heart and soul should be singing together, and yet you're gifted. That's what made you lose everything you had as a child. Now, an opportunity presents itself. Should you take it, is it the right thing to do?

Without a soul and with a magic you can't control, the journey will be a risky one.

Especially since the smell of madness and blood is getting heavier and heavier on Terrybiël. Will you be able to fix everything, to find what you're looking for? Nothing is less sure.

And yet, this voice is calling you, whispering:

Come ! Come to me ! Come to me and don't be afraid.

Review:

The Good: Tobias is Ken, do not fight me on this.

Also, i wasnt aware what Snow was until i looked it up:

SO FREAKING CUTE!

Anyways, I had a lot of fun with this one. It lures you into a false sense of security and wholesomeness only to abruptly show the player and MC the reality of the world. That their mother had been protecting them for a reason. The family dynamics, relationships between characters, and drama crafted got me in my feels enough to care! I also got to name my plushie rabbit Optimus Prime, which was fucking hilarious:

Also i had alot of fun with the parental drama the MC can have with their father

Ashleyn:

And with his fuckboi bros:

Adoriel's Tears does that thing really well, that thing that lets the reader fill in the blanks and make up their own assumptions for the characters until we actually meet them. Plus it lets us act out and be brats so we can break the hearts of all the adults around us that try their best!

Also there's moments like this:

That honestly just adds that bit of humor that works without cause friction for the rest of the tone.

There was also a specific passage that felt emotionally charged and intense. Youll know what im talking about once you reach it, because it is very memorable. Without spoiling, it feels like justice coming forth to smite those that have wronged you.

The Bad: I know that Chapter 1 is a transfer from the original Choicescript, and it shows. The author has already expressed wanting to polish and clean it up, which i think is the right step as the second chapter and onwards have a clear jump in quality. There were numerous spelling and grammatical errors, but given that chapter 1 is four years old, and that the author is not a native English speaker (is French) that can be excused and fixed. I was able to submit errors I came across, so the author will be able to fix what i found in a future update. I do recommend that those who play any IF out there to submit anything they find as authors need us to beta test! Their eyes literally begin to glaze over the words theyve seen for the thousandth time lol.

The Ugly: I encountered moments where the MC feels very sensitive and too friendly, or the opposite where the choices can give an extreme negative reaction in response. I'd like for the inclusion of a more middle ground MC. In addition to that, there where times where my immersion (self insert, remember) broke as my boy MC felt too "feminine" without letting us choose to act it or not. Idk how to describe it other than that lol, but it stood out to me.

The Aftermath: I would recommend this to anyone that wants a good family dynamic/drama, and if characters and their relationships with each other are important to you. There's a lot of promise, potential, and "oh shit" moments that can/will happen (18+ tag, remember?) that only leaves me wanting more. The worldbuilding done allows for some really gripping story telling, and from what we see so far, itll impact the story. Seriously, the worldbuilding here is unique, and WILL stand out as we keep seeing the same ole same ole elsewhere in this genre. It's a fantasy story that keeps itself grounded by using likable characters who have realistic flaws that provide entertainment for us.

[m1ssunderstanding]

Notes on Nowhere Boy

Finally posting the long version of the close-watch I did for @sleeper9's Fete zine. The bad thing about me is I hate spending money and love pirating shitty quality versions of movies. The good thing about the Beatles fandom is we're used to dealing with grainy pics. Anyways, here goes!

The opening ten seconds really do set the tone for the film, and here's why. It's the opening of A Hard Day’s Night where the boys are running from a hoard of screaming fans and George biffs it. John sees him go down, laughs, and keeps running. Only here, it's just John. George’s fall has been erased, making John into a cocky, if slightly insane, little lone hero. 

Mimi: do I ignore you? No. So please don't ignore me. Me: ummm, yeah you do ignore him, Mimi. Enough to leave deep psychological scars. But it's fine. Moving on.

Ugh, Uncle George is so sweet! I wonder how much of John's sweetness he learned from him. I wish we knew more about him.

Actually that was Jim that set up a cord running into Paul's room from the radio downstairs. But it fits Uncle George's character, so it works. 

Why did they make Mendips look a lot more working class than it actually was? No fancy iron fence, no pretty hexagonal outcropping, no stained glass veranda? 

Aaron Taylor Johnson is nailing it though. The laugh sounds very John, and this posture? Perfect. 

Okay but if that doesn't heartbreakingly encapsulate John and Mimi I don't know what does. Uncle George has just died. John goes to Mimi, wraps her from behind in a tight embrace and lets out a sob. Her response is to push him away. “Please, let's not be silly. If you want to do that, go to your room.” Alright, it's making me feel things, it's winning me over. 

John making his cousin Stan go and ask Mimi where Julia is is also extremely accurate. Always had someone to do the dirty work for them, all of them. 

Mimi's concern as John's going to visit his mother in the “bad” part of town is very good to have in too. “And you will be careful, hmm? Careful who you talk to.” And John's response, “it's only Blackpool, Mimi.” It's true. It could've been Speke, or the Dingle. Which Quarryman did I read saying Mimi didn't like John even leaving Woolton?

John's hurt little face when he finds out his mum, all this time, has been less than a bus ride away is a very clever way to show us his painful confusion about the whole situation. 

Trying to remind myself that this is a very anti-Julia pro-Mimi movie that will try to make me think she's crazy. But it sure is doing a hell of a good job. She hasn't seen him in years and suddenly she's hand feeding him desserts, kissing him every chance she's got, flirting all over the place. “Do you know what it means? Rock and Roll? Sex.” “Don't tell Mimi, alright? This is our little secret. Promise me.” And to a poor affection-starved boy, that's going to feel good. That's going to put thoughts in his head like “this is how it should be”. I mean I know she was wild and fun and sexy and irresponsible. And I know John did have weird thoughts about her. But I hope she wasn't actually this crazy. 

But the weird Freudian thing aside, he's got to be so terribly confused hearing the woman who effectively abandoned him declaring her love for him. Between Mimi and Julia, John would've had such a messed up idea of what that word meant. 

The Daily Howl, my absolute beloved!!

Nowhere Boy John watching Elvis: damn I've gotta get the girls screaming for me like that! Actual John watching Elvis: he's so beautiful! He's perfect! I'm in love!

Also I do not think sixteen year old John was that good at fingering. Just saying. 

This part always drops my heart cold into my stomach. Poor John. Poor poor baby. You can hear his little boy voice calling, “mum? It's me.” And she mutters, very annoyed, “go away.” Again. I have to remind myself that this is a purposely negative portrait of Julia. But then. It is true that she was a mostly absent and wholly undependable figure in John's life. 

Sometimes dialogue is absolutely perfect. Like this – “Aw, why couldn't God make me Elvis Presley?” “Cause he was saving you for John Lennon.” “Aw I'll get you back for that, God!” And this – “you haven't told Mimi, have you?” “No point going through her bullocks if I don't have to.” “Why? She has to go through yours.” “Yeah well I never asked her to, did I?”

Ugh this whole movie just hurts so bad! How he looks to Julia as Mimi is ordering him out of her house, just begging her to claim him this time. And she doesn't until he makes a stand for himself. And then, later. “How long can I stay?” Is met with nothing. Not even a fake “long as you want, love.” It really plays into the title of the film. This boy's got nowhere to call home. And then, the final straw. Look at his face as he hears Julia agree that he does in fact need to go back to Mimi's. If I did that kind of thing, I'd actually be crying right now. Fuck, why was I knit-picking, this movie is working so well. 

 As he's announcing he's leaving Julia's, John wants her to tell him to stay. To at least pretend it's not what she wants. And she doesn't even look at him. Imagine if they did something like this in the John biopic mirrored with a scene with Paul in the breakup?

He's just so adorable looking at that guitar like he can't believe it's real.

John's gathered the og Quarrymen in the bathroom and Pete goes “I take it we're not here for a communal crap.” Idk Pete, wouldn't put it past him. It's not far off what you all do already.

It's making the Quarrymen look kinda cool here, and I really want them all to be shit except John, just because that's what I get from Paul's description. Not that he's biased or anything. He could've been watching John play with Elton John and David Bowie and he'd still say everyone faded into the background. 

Also Mimi would Not have been there. Not on her life. 

Okay now we're sort of seeing them from Paul's perspective. Bunch of losers surrounding this inimitable shining star. 

Accurate that the first thing John says to Paul is about jerking off. 

The dynamic in general is just so well-done in this first scene. John instantly testing Paul. How much shit will he put up with? And Paul instantly having none of it, showing off, and winning John over. 

All the other Quarrymen just know it's time to dust off the ole resume. 

But! Paul's fete “audition” is so toned down for this film. Although of course, accounts vary. He did 20 flight rock, yeah. But he also did it on someone's borrowed right hand guitar turned upside down. And he did little Richard and played the piano, and tuned John's guitar for him. In one telling of it, John says he asked him to be in the group right there on the spot. So. Yeah. 

But either way, watching John watch Paul is just gorgeously gay. It's giving extreme “Oooooh, he likes hiiiiiim!” It's actually illegal not to queerbate using Lennon/McCartney and I'm glad all moviemakers seem to understand the law.

Cut to “John, your little friend's here!” Can you imagine if they'd showed the “chalk and cheese” whirling dervish moment? Or Mimi making Paul use the back door? Those might change some thoughts and feelings in this movie. 

And then we get the reciprocated “Oooooh, he likes hiiiiiim!” Moment as Paul's too busy checking out John’s buddy Holly Look to remember where he is, let alone what cord they're on. And it's so sweet because Paul's the first person who gives John the idea that his real self is actually cooler than his tough-guy act. 

The little matching feet tapping?? Eee it's so cute! 

But why miss the opportunity for them to sing in harmony here?

Sometimes the dialogue is extremely inaccurate. “So mummy’s cool about baby Paul wanting to be Elvis?” “Oh she would've loved it.” Like hell she would've. She would've been as disapproving as Mimi. Then again, maybe it is accurate for Paul to be lying about that.

“Well she – she sort of – died. You know, em. If we're gonna do this we should write our own stuff.” Okay yep there he is. That's Paul. 

Also love how John gets his first calluses after Paul the bossy taskmaster comes into his life. (You know. And the reason to push himself and a person who cares enough to take the time to show him things and it makes John all dreamy staring at the stars that night etc) Anyway. It's perfect. 

And the first gig we see after Paul joins is in a venue on a real stage with a much bigger audience, and the matching suits of course. 

Mimi selling John's guitar because of a bad report card is like the lighter, kinder translation of what happened in reality when she had his dog put down while he was staying at Julia's. 

So they kinda make up for not letting Paul sing etc by having him nail the guitar instead of screw up at this gig like he did irl. 

And he's stealing Julia's attention, which is clearly Not okay with John. Reminds me of that quote of Paul's about how they were both in love with John's mum. 

George is appropriately infantile. Good. Cutie. 

The Quarrymen playing “That's Alright, Mama” as John's making up with Julia since she bought his guitar back for him. Okay. Very clever. 

Paul does Not like John disrespecting his mother after the show for obvious reasons. (“I said something wrong now I long for yesterday.”) But clearly he doesn't have the full picture here. I wonder at what point irl Paul got a full run-down from John on his messed-up family life. Or did he just have to pull it together piece by piece over the years?

And of course he jumps to light Julia's cigarette. Boy was patting his pocket for a lighter like it was the race of his life. Mister steal your mum.

Here we are, ladies and gentlemen, Paul McCartney’s number two complaint about this movie: John was Not taller than him. How dare they? Slander.  

That's one hell of a jacket.

At the party, John's of course pissed to find Paul serenading Julia in the kitchen. But Paul just wants a mommy so bad, John. Why can't you just let him have yours since you clearly don't want her? Right, because you really, really do. More than anyone can understand. But when you showed her that – how bad you wanted her to be your mum, not just a friend – she hurt you. Forced you to go through your abandonment all over again. So now you can't show that anymore. 

The washboard over Pete's head is almost exactly accurate, isn't it? John does not handle people leaving him well. 

Ugh his little voice cracking on the word “mum.” John Lennon is a poor poor baby and I will die on that hill.

I wonder how John did find out about Victoria and the real story of why he was with Mimi. No matter how, though, that's certainly a lot of mess for a young man to be carrying around with him all the time in his head. 

“When your father came back from the merchant Navy, he wanted to try and save the marriage, but your mother would have none of it.” I do feel like we're going with Alf’s version of events here, the one he sold John in order to get into his good graces after he was famous. Which is, again, not fair to Julia. I wonder how little Julia feels about this movie. 

In fact, I think this part –  “who do you wanna be with, John? Do you wanna be with me or do you wanna be with your mum?” – has been categorically disproven. But it certainly does make for some high drama. And John himself did believe his father's story, so there has to be at least some emotional truth there. 

Nowhere Boy John: There's no point in hating someone you love. I mean really love. IRL John: How do you sleep, you cunt?!

There he is. Art School John. Though he fell in love with every iteration of John, I think this one never left his head because he was one of the earliest Johns, and he was a John Paul had to fight for, you know, with all the Stu business and dead mother anger.

He really does an excellent job of playing John, though, when he's written right. “Woman took her kit off and we painted her breasts. Not actually physically. I got my eye on you two.” Ridiculous. Charming. Off- putting. Adorable. 

Ignoring the fact that I prefer to think of “Hello, Little Girl” as being about Paul (“you never seem to see me standing there”) and they're making it about Julia, this is a lovely scene. With John somewhat unsure still of his songwriting abilities and Paul looking up at him from the floor full of admiration. 

Oh he's gonna murder someone. To be fair, I think playing Julia's banjo at her funeral is exactly the type of insensitive thing Paul would do, because he just thinks and feels in music and it makes Sense to him even though of course it's going to piss John off. 

Hilarious, and probably accurate tbh, that Paul's pissed John off so he gives Pete a bloody nose.

But here we go, the number one complaint about this movie from Paul, which I think is actually valid. John never hit him and that was important to both of them and it's disrespectful to portray it and play into the myth of their rocky, angry relationship. 

But maybe in 2009 that's what it took for them to be able to show John Lennon and Paul McCartney in a genuine, loving embrace, crying into each other's necks about mothers. It has to be preceded by John punching Paul in the mouth. 

If I was John's writing partner, my biggest beef with this movie would actually be the scene where they're recording ISOATD and making it look like John wrote it and played the guitar solo. But Paul's never even mentioned it. Which I guess really shows he cares far more about the legacy of his relationship with John than his career legacy. Which. If you mean more to Paul McCartney than his fucking music? Well then you must be just about important enough to have your own movie. 

This is really the Vote for Mimi Smith campaign, isn't it? Putting across the screen the fact that John called Mimi every week until he died as “Mother” plays in the background is brutal. Ouch. But it's true. “It's Mimi time.”

[eclectic-sassycoweyes]

Okay. The thing is - we’ll never get everything from this show, we’ll never get to see everything play out. The conversations will always be fractioned and half. It’s a prime time network show that gives us 45 minutes of screen time each episode spread out between a whole cast of characters and plot lines and action sequences.

And my point with that is: Everything outside of what we see in canon is >us< filling in the blanks, interpreting and basically finishing the characters and the storylines.

If you dislike a character or storyline, a large amount of what you dislike will be of your own making. Which means that you created that negative take, only to be negative about it.

If a character isn’t giving all their background and reasons, or isn’t providing what you find to be a sufficient apology for what you believe is a ‘wrong doing’ then that’s you deciding that their reasons were bad instead of valid. You deciding to go ‘I hate this character bc they didn’t apologize’ instead of going ‘I trust that this character apologized but I hate that we didn’t get to see it’ or even ‘I hate that they wrote this character as not apologizing’.

And like. Just because I love these characters and this show or a certain storyline doesn’t mean I think we can’t be critical of it. And it doesn’t mean I expect everyone else to love anything or everything about it. And mostly with this negativity for negativity’s sake, it just makes me think ‘well people are weird’.

Because I literally don’t get watching a show you don’t like and then spending time posting about it using that show’s fandom tags, or painting a character in a bad light just so you can feel negative about it. I don’t get going for drama and negativity when you can go for joy. I get criticizing or even hating the writing, talking about writing that might be problematic, and not resonating with the way a storyline or a character is written, but I don’t get hating a Character that is, in fact, not real and can never be fully fleshed out in a show like this.

But the problem is also when these takes either:

1.) are meant for and created to deliberately reach into other people’s place of joy and create drama.

And, even more so, 2.) when they are racist, ableist, misogynistic in nature and thus are doing real harm to real people. Which, is in fact very much the case when TK is called a ‘twink’ and that term is meant as derogatory or his addiction is being used against him; when Carlos isn’t being emphasized with at all, and attempted to be understood for his reasons, feelings and actions, or isn’t allowed to have complicated, ‘negative’ emotions but is expected to be there to be TK’s ever perfect and present support rock; when Iris is being called words like crazy, or other derogatory terms and her illness or trauma isn’t acknowledged, or she’s being painted stereotypically and as an un-nuanced character bc of her mental illness.

And I don’t get it bc we literally see TK being strong for and supporting Carlos several times in canon. We see Carlos developing and working on his insecurities, educating himself on addiction to best be there for TK. We are told where those insecurities come from. We saw TK’s struggles with active addiction. We literally saw Carlos’ dad being shot in his own home wearing the tux he was supposed to wear as Carlos’ best man, just when their relationship and old wounds were on the mend, heard his mother, who watched it happen, scream down the line while on the phone with Carlos, who also heard it happen. We don’t see anybody but Carlos seeking justice, and we still see Carlos making an effort to spend quality time with TK and communicate openly with him. And we saw TK going to bed without his husband not for the first time, knowing that he’s in pain and that grief has previously let him to feel alone and to close up and end up in a dangerous and unhealthy place, where TK couldn’t reach him or help him. We know that there is past trauma and experience for TK that will make him recognize patterns and make him worry for both Carlos’ wellbeing, and for their marrriage.

And, we see them loving, caring for and forgiving each other through it all. We see a relationship with two people who are not always right, not always perfect, but who are doing the best they can and being by each other’s sides through that. We see nuanced and realistic conflicts with root in both of their trauma. [And loving one character and trusting their judgement but not trusting their love and evaluation of the other is just very difficult for me to understand.]

Everything apart from that, the thoughts, feelings and motivations we assign them, the moments, conversations and apologies we imagine or don’t imagine to have taken place, how two characters came from having a conflict to saying ‘I love you’/‘I forgive you’, or to being friends and dancing at a wedding, what lead characters to say “I’ll keep a light on”/“I feel like we’re starting to drift apart”/“we’re doing great”, what else they might have said, and what they might have felt in that situation, is stuff we make up and put into the story. And so it is up to us whether we try and understand and love these characters or whether we want to make them into bad people, and then hate them for it.

[pokedash55]

Turbo, Internalized Glitchphobia, and how King Candy is a clever Parallel to Vanellope's arc

So KC is so hateful and derogatory of Vanellope's Glitch in a way that feels beyond simply keeping power and control of the kingdom. There is so much distain in his voice for Vanellope both in public and private. He is obviously paranoid of returning to a life without his rule, but I think it goes deeper. He's also terrified of returning to a life without a game. Returning to a life as a glitched homeless outcast. Remember Turbo was to some degree homeless before 1997, almost 10 years of hiding and game hopping. He's still a power hungry asshole (and I love him for that) so this isn't justification but hear me out (cause angst for angsts sake is my jam)

I love giving him this internalized hatred of glitches because he was one before Sugar Rush. After the crash in Roadblasters, the console crashed and his code was probably damaged. Without his game nothing could repair the code. He was stuck as a glitch and he attacks Vanellope ruthlessly for it as an ego defense. It's almost a subconscious response to her and a reassurance that he's in control and isn't like that anymore. It was possible at one point he was in the same position as her: Alone and worthless, long ago he too had nowhere to go and was a glitch hated and scorned by those around him, becoming nothing but a fear mongering story and a freak to those who should respect him (So the obvious way to heal from this is to make another person suffer the same fate in order to feel the satisfaction of being in control)

Attacking her and labeling her Glitch is his internalized hatred of the weakness that he is running from every day he masks as KC, gaining more and more gratification and ownership of a game he is not apart of. He made his move to usurp the throne on day one and is so psychotic and proud that he has fallen for his own ruse. The King Candy character exists and is just as real as the "Turbo' character. Turbo ended up entranced by his perfect little sandbox world. He had a home and a life again. He had access to whatever he wanted and players who would love him. His subjects loved him and he was free to bask in that attention. It was an echo chamber of comfort and instant appreciation. He could fully accept the narrative he constructed if only SHE didn't exist. But her presence is forever a stain to his new home and a threat to his ego. She will always be there to remind him that he stole this game and without it he has nothing. That the life he has, although still entitled to it, is fake. Her glitching was always a reminder of the decade he spent just like her.

People love to connect Turbo and Ralph, talking about what happens if you grow too selfish in your desires for self respect and how rejecting your role in the world can be disastrous for everyone. I love the parallels with Turbo as the ultimate extension of Ralph's negative qualities. In the movie it also directly connects Ralph and Vanellope with themes of belonging and rejection from society. But what if these thematic Parallels became a triangle?? King Candy is living a lie and claiming an identity that is not his own and doing it with glee. He relishes in the escapism of being the King. He is technically doing the opposite of Vanellope, fully denouncing his actual self and embracing a self created fake persona in a ploy for power instead of accepting his place and being content as Turbo. But once "Turbo" became an outcasted glitch (totally from his own actions but still) from the crash, that "character" wasn't popular anymore he needed to become something else. With all that access to the code someone is bound to grow nihilistic or existential with who they are. He changed every bit and strand of his code just to become popular. But Vanellope never abandoned her true self. Through all the persecution, loneliness and maybe even jealously, she accepted her state as a glitch. Even when becoming royalty she wasn't about to change herself for others. Turbo changed everything about himself in order to become Royalty Vanellope gave up royalty to be herself.