#i HOPE I WROTE HIM OK

[sanasanakun]

People try too hard to make Curly an active participant in Jimmy's abuse. Isn't the whole point that he's passive in everything Jimmy does? Abuse occurs because he actively doesn't do anything? Not to call someone out or be mean, but I saw a post saying Anya's ID being in Curly's locker at the beginning shows that he intended to prevent Anya from filing an HR report and I disagree. I get where that interpretation is coming from, but I think it's a little uncharitable. I don't like being too kind to Curly because he's like...a morally mid dude at best lol But if we're going by the HR report interpretation, I would say it's more likely he requested Anya's ID in order to file an HR report on her behalf. After all, the only way to contact Pony (that we see) is in the cockpit, he's the Captain, and Pony Express sucks bad so I wouldn't put it past them to only allow the Captain to use the communication device thing. As we see before, Curly is the only one able to use tools around the ship that you would think other employees could use (ex. Swansea should be able to use the axe if he's the repair guy. Idk why they'd need an ax but that falls under manual labor which Swansea is designated for as the mechanic/fixer dude. But it has to go through Curly). I never got the vibe that Curly moved to actively protect Jimmy. He just lets things happen without say a word; Jimmy walks all over him, and by extension, the whole crew. I get why people would think that because he gives the whole "Hey Jimmy, we can get through this together, bud" spiel right before the crash. This part interests me a lot because there's so many ways to interpret Curly's intentions there. My interpretation is that Curly is on autopilot mode. The responses seem so stilted in comparison to Jimmy's. Like it's the kind of thing Curly's said before again and again and again when Jimmy's gotten in trouble. However, as others previously pointed out, I don't think Curly ever dealt with Jimmy doing something this irredeemable. He doesn't know how to respond, so he just goes for the default "You've gotten through tough situations before. Work through it one step at a time." Like the response is lame af lol I think he was in shock; he was scared (and just so I can say it one more time: he's super lame).

Anyway, this is way longer than I intended and I've said things a billion people have already stated. But uhhh tldr the whole point of Curly's character is he's passive; he never acts. He just watches. Making him an active participant in the abuse by taking actions to cover for Jimmy (like preventing Anya from filing an HR report) defeats the purpose of his character. He's a bystander.

[x-reader-things]

“I don’t want to fuck this up.”

Ekko x gn!reader [could be read as either romantic or platonic]

Summary ; In which you and Ekko help each other find your spark of creating again.

Requested? ; No. Self indulgent.

Warnings ; hurt / comfort, grief, a hint of survivors guilt but mostly just guilt in general, loss of a friend [unnamed uncanon character], not exactly a warning but hair is mentioned w / no specific hair type described.

Word count ; 2.3 k words

——————————————————————

You stare at the mural in front of you.

Tall and daunting. The tree grew around it like a shield, and the portraits were protected by the home built above in the branches.

Rain pattered on the ground. It had begun to soak through your clothes, dotted cold and unwelcoming on your cheeks. Slid off your head and yet caught into your hair at the same time. You were lucky it wasn’t pouring.

It smelled. A mix of petrichor and something putrid. No doubt from the smog that always left the sky over Zaun grey, and never clear enough for the sun to fully peak through. Such is the usual, for the undercity.

None of that mattered, though.

You were tasked - well, you took it upon yourself - to paint a portrait of another fallen Firelight. You were an artist like most of them were. You painted in your downtime for a while, up until recently.

The past year hadn’t been kind to you. Even with the Firelights being there, existing as a home. As a beacon of hope. For change. It wasn’t enough to fan the flames of the dimmed spark of creativity, that you longed to feel once again.

One failed mission after the next. An injury in your leg that had you benched for weeks. Chembarons were getting reckless, and enforcers were relentless - you feared when the other shoe would drop, when shit would hit the fan.

And then, the recent loss.

A close friend of yours.

The guilt was impudent. Almost impertinent. It seared into your bones like an angry flame that simmered and waited. Stars, you hated it so much. It never went away, no matter how much you tried to distract yourself by throwing yourself headfirst into work.

You took up more tasks despite the stinging twinge in your leg. You did more chores under the guise of letting fellow firelights take a break. Some meaningless and small, others bigger and more meaningful. Busying your mind so you didn’t have time to think too much.

And you took this task, especially, because you thought you could handle it.

You thought this would knock you out of your stupor, let you create again, out of respect for your fallen friend. Give yourself an outlet to let things be, let your mind be content, albeit in a melancholy way.

But the moment you stared into the blank space you were given to work with, all you could do was freeze.

One wrong move, and you’d fuck it up for good. One wrong stroke of a brush and a spray can would mess up the image of that friend.

And starting would ruin the blank space even more. It’d have marred the image you had in your mind, the one you needed to begin soon, lest you get sick from the rain. You didn’t want to mess it up.

You didn’t want to fuck it up.

You didn’t want to ruin the image of your friend.

The friend who you lost because the phantom pain in your leg grew too much to the point where it screwed up your footing on your hoverboard, made you swerve around an incoming bomb being thrown by a blue haired woman working for Silco, made you knock into your friend who lost their own balance and fell with a mind shattering scream, and then—

“Still haven’t started yet?”

Light thunder crackled in the distance, the rumbling amplified by your hyper vigilance.

Startled, you took in a sharp breath, and instantly turned to where you heard the voice from. You hadn’t even realized you were holding your breath in. Your lungs were grateful for the intake of air.

On the wooden balcony below you, you caught sight of the main firelight leader. Ekko.

Arms crossed, eyes tired, head tilted in the usual way he did while regarding something he needed to comprehend. The twisted locks of his hair moved with his head, vibrant against the greyed out colors surrounding you both. Usually, the grounds and the walls surrounding the firelight hideout were more colorful. Today, the rain made it more somber.

“I…”, you tried to form a viable excuse. Whatever your words were caught on the tip of your tongue, and refused to make themselves known. Your eyes flitted back to the blank part of the mural, and back to Ekko.

You wondered if he’d understand.

“I. Can’t.”

Your words were stilted. Hesitant. They cut through the rain like a knife. Unsettled in the air.

Ekko straightened up ever so slightly. He dipped his head the slightest bit lower, with a blink and a raise of his brows. His dark brown eyes urged you to continue.

“I-I can’t—“, you repeated, arms dropping to your sides in defeat. Your thoughts were buzzing in your mind and you couldn’t stop the words from flowing in time. They tumbled out in a jumble you swore on you could comprehend, and your arms gesticulated as you paced on the creaking wood below your feet.

“—every time I try, I just. Can’t. And I need to do this, I have to. I promised I would. And I can’t stop thinking about what happened but I need that to stop, I have to do this because they’re my friend and I can’t fuck this up, I can’t ruin the image of them. And I can’t fucking—“

You kicked a paint can at your feet. It soured over the ground below you, and felt to the grass well below the balconies.

“—bring myself to pick up a single one of these paint cans.”

Ekko’s eyes followed the paint can while it fell. It hit the dirt below, and the distant thump was drowned out by the rain. He clicked his tongue, and sighed with a shake of his head.

You were angry. You were grieving. It’s not like he could tell you to stop, nor would he ever. Any and every Firelight knew what it was like. Seeing you like this, though - abound with ideas, but with no spark, no drive anymore…

It reminded him too much of himself.

He was a leader. The leader of the Firelights. He focused his time on making their hideout a home. Bit by bit, he picked up the broken pieces of Zaun. Did his best to, at the very least. The chembarons, Silco and Shimmer proved difficult, along with Piltover.

With all that work, and all that responsibility, it left him restless. Left him exhausted. Even with the help of Scar, his second hand man, and many others within the community he created, it still weighed him down. Every time he opened that journal of his, without the need of making a blueprint for a new gadget to create, without the need for a map for a plan, the pages were blank.

When he tried, those pages were ripped. Those pages were full of jagged lines, or crinkled up and tossed to some corner of his messy room. He’d stare at those pages for hours, head in his hands, and wonder where the hell his spark went.

When did he lose it?

How?

Ekko took a few steps forward, and pulled himself up to the platform above. With a grunt, he heaved over the wooden railing as carefully as he could. The rain made everything they stood on wet, and prone to slip on. When he stood up, and dusted his hands off, he got a clear look at you.

You forced out a sound, a mix between a scoff and a wry laugh. Ran a hand over your head, and pushed water droplets flat onto your hair. Tore your eyes away from where the paint can used to be, and back to the mural. “Been stuck for months. And the one damn time I need to create, for them—“

You sharply gestured your arm out to the blank spot - an eerie crème colored sight compared to the rest of the wall, save for a few cracks - and your voice trembled. Water droplets fell from your hand as it flicked away from the top of your head.

“Hey—”, Ekko reached a hand out, and rested it against the opposite arm that stayed at your side. He grasped your elbow, and gave it a gentle tug. It tore your attention away from the wall, and back onto him. His voice was calm, almost somber. “— C’mon.”

He took in a breath, and his other hand made a breathe-in motion. You followed in suit, the smell of petrichor invading your nose, air filling your lungs. The tension in your shoulders went tighter.

After a few seconds, Ekko slowly breathed out. You followed him, and the tightness in your muscles faded ever so slightly.

Once Ekko was sure you were calm enough, he scoffed out a small breath, and the corners of his mouth twitched up in a wry sort of smile. It was small, but it was there.

“I… get what you mean”, he started. His voice was in a softer tone. One you didn’t hear as often, compared to his ‘Leader Voice’. It blended into the ambient noise of the rain, yet it was perfectly clear for you. Never broke the calm like the thunder did.

“When I got good enough, I started this—” Ekko looked at the wall behind you, an old ache settling into the small pinch between his brows. “—the mural. Thought that since i the skills, I could put this up. Thought that I could make something good, make something to remember them by, for...”

He sighed through his nose. You followed his gaze, and landed on the portraits you’ve known for years. Six portraits. The oldest ones. The same style, the same paint, the same process.

All were Ekko’s. The people he knew, before the Firelights had become The Firelights. Before he had to grow up as quick as he did.

“… your family?”, you asked tentatively, to complete the sentence for him. Ekko hummed in acknowledgment, and the smallest hint of a smile grew on his face.

“Yeah. My family.”, another sigh, and his shoulders dropped when he looked up at the rest of the mural. “Back then I created so much. Started this tradition, whenever we lost someone. Helped to create so many things for us. For the Firelights. A lot like you did, when you first started here, y’know? But now—”

Your eyes met again.

“—you can’t even look at a blank page anymore.”, you finished. He gently squeezed your elbow, and your hand had instinctively found its way to rest against his forearm.

“You get it”, he nods. “So…”

He let go of your arm to lean down and grab a paint can. Your hand lingered against the arm of his jacket, the outside of it already littered with dark spots from the rain. When Ekko stood up, he shook the spray can at his side. The mix bearing hit against tin of the can, and mixed the paint up enough to be properly used. After that, he took your hand off of his arm, and turned it so that your palm was facing up. He placed the paint can into your hand.

“—Let’s just… Take things slow. See how things go from there, alright?”

The cool metal of the can soaked into the skin of your hand. Your fingers curled over it, and tightened their grip.

“I don’t want to fuck this up.”, you whispered.

The very thought of starting the portrait you dreaded to creeped up from the back of your mind. The cold seeped back into your spine. You wouldn’t say it out loud but it terrified you to the very depths of your being.

“You won’t.” Ekko’s voice broke through the anxious haze that began to cloud your head again. His hand remained on the other side of the paint can in your hand. A promise that he wouldn’t leave you alone. “I got you. Besides—“

He gestured to your leg. A reference to the injury. “—standing up here alone for hours at a time won’t be good for that leg of yours. Figured you need someone to help when you need to rest it.”

You gave him a weak smile. A small thank you for the thought. He wasn’t wrong. Standing for that long would hurt. However…

“It’s gonna make it real, Ekko.”, the tremor in your voice returned. Warmth stung behind your eyes. Warm tears, against the cold air. “Losing them.”

The tremor in your voice this time had finally broken it into pieces.

“I know.”, Ekko murmured. He definitely knew. “It’s gonna hurt for a long time. But this—“

He waved his hand towards the mural. “—is the first step to healing. I’m gonna be right there with you.”

You nodded, and wiped a stray tear that fell from the corner of your eye.

“Alright.”

Ekko moved his hand away from the can, and you walked forward. You stepped on the creaking wood of the step stool in front of the mural. The intimidating blank stretch of the concrete felt way larger than it appeared. But when you took a deep breath, and caught the encouraging nod of Ekko when he went to your side a little ways away, the tension fell away.

The rain pattered calmly behind you.

The cold didn’t sting as deep. Neither did the guilt.

You shook the can at your side again, and raised it up to the wall. You sniffed once, and exhaled a shaky breath.

One spray after another.

One shape formed into an ear. Another, a nose. Soon the eyes.

And soon, a face. A little extra help from Ekko turned that face into a person. Your friend.

Nothing was marred, nothing was ruined.

And for once, the world seemed a little less cruel.

[project-sekai-news]

The Pegasus - An Interview

Welcome back to PJSK News! I'm your host, Tenma Saki, and because Hoshino couldn't be here today, I have brought a special guest! Special guest, how about you introduce yourself?

Good evening, everyone! I am Tenma Tsukasa, a world star! Many of you know me by my stage name, the Pegasus!!! Saki here is actually my little sister!

Hehe, Onii-chan, no headpats on camera! Anyway.. I have all the interview questions right here! Are you ready?

More than ready! Shoot!

Okay! First question: Tumblr user @sillystringstar asked: "Dear, Pegasus, why the horse name?"

That's an easy one! My surname, Tenma, means 'pegasus!' Therefore, I thought it only fitting to use that as my stage name!

I knew that one! Hehe, then I could use that as my pen name whenever I write articles! ..On second thought, that might be a little confusing.

Let's see, the next question is.. by @ithappenedonroute66 !! "If you are a star, then are you the sun and going to explode in the far future?"

E-er, you see, I'm not that kind of star! I'm a great and talented performer kind of star! BUT! I will explode in a blaze of glory in the future! You'll see, Saki, and uh.. it-happens-route-6!

I'll be waiting! ... user @agoist asked, "Why did you make that young girl cry by yelling “Dance and Sing” at her?"

Wh-where'd you here that from?! Ahem, I mean, the problem is solved! The girl was looking for her mom, is all! With Rui's help, the girl found her mom safe and sound, so you needn't worry about anything!

We're just going to ignore the fact that I blabbed.. next question, by @crime-soncloud! "Pegasus, what are your thoughts on the work of this news network, and what do you feel should be reported on more?"

This is a brilliant news network, run by my dear sister Saki and her friends! I try my best to listen to every single one of their reports! ..Though I haven't listened to the one about Akito yet! I've been a bit busy lately...

As for what should be reported on! I believe everything Saki and her friends report on needs their full attention! That being said, I recommend other Sekai's! So far, PJSK News has only reported on evnets happening around Shibuya Sekai, so if they could branch off to other Sekai's, I think that would be very cool!

Ooh, good idea! I'll talk to Ichi about that! Uh - also, the Akito going to jail one isn't that big of an event, haha..! There's no need for you to watch it!

Oh, really? Well, whatever you say, Saki!

Hehe, great! This next one is by.. @ova-kakyoin !! "what is your favorite part of performing? other than people smiling and having fun watching of course."

Hmm.. I'd say getting to know my fellow actors better! You mustn't only care for your audience! The wellbeing of the people you're performing with is also very important!

Well said! Okay.. user @sanri0add1ct asked, "dear Pegasus, why do you call your lunch a luncheon?"

Ah! 'Tis a name only fit for the glorious lunch eaten by the Pegasus!

You always put so much care into the lunches you make for yourself and me! Thank you, Onii-chan!

Anything for you, Saki! What's the next question?

Mm.. @25jpeg is wondering, "dear Pegasus what's your deal with Kamishiro?"

Ah, Rui! Hmm.. I'm not too sure what you mean by that!

Of course you know what they mean! Hm, like.. how he's always teasing you! Or.. oh! I heard from Toya that he sometimes sees the teachers chasing you two around the school~! Ooh, or maybe when you were rehearsing Ro -

Wait a minute! Where did you hear this?!

Well, I picked up the teasing one by myself, and like I said, Toya told me about how the teachers chase you two...

Ugh.. to think my wonderful fans would take our relationship like this..

Time for me to clear things up! ..Everyone, Rui is not bullying me!

...Huh..?

There! Now people won't think Rui is being mean! Rui is my great friend!

Onii-chan... hm. Don't worry everyone, he'll realize his feelings soon enough!

..My feelings..?

Anyway, next question~! @calleigator asked, "Mr. Pegasus Tenma, what are your thoughts on the ongoing apple pie thefts and what are you going to do about it?"

The apple pie thefts? Ah, I remember you and Hoshino reporting on this! I hope the thief will stop stealing apple pies and instead be a good citizen and pay for everything that they stole!

That's a lot of money to pay considering how many pies they stole...

But stealing is no good! As the Pegasus and a world star, I should be setting a good example for all the young children out there! Everyone, if you're listening, don't steal!

Aw, you're such a good influence! That's my brother for you!

Haha! You're a great sister too, Saki!

Ahem.. "Dearest Pegasus, your light shines brighter than any other. What do you plan to do about those who melt in your presence?" - asked by @monkie-see-monkie-do!

Melt in my presence..? Ah, I see, they melt because of my greatness! Well, my marvelous fan, if you melt in my presence, no need to panic! My light revives as well as melts!

Ooh, great answer! This next question is the last one, by @closegamecamo !! "Pegasus, what are your thoughts on those fake insects at stores?"

Fake insects..? Ugh, why would you ask me that.. er, I don't even remember what they look like!

That's fine! I brought one here with me just in case!

You wha - aaAAAAAAGGH!!

Haha, Onii-chan! It's just a caterpi - ahh, he fell down!

Eek! T-Tenma-senpai..? Is he okay?

Don't worry about it, Kohane! He'll be fine.. probably..

ONII-CHAN! The interview's still going!

..urk...

Ah, maybe it's a good time to stop..

Bye everyone! I hope your questions were answered by the great and glorious star, Tenma Tsukasa, the Pegasus! Let's keep this little incident between us, 'kay? Bye bye~!

..ugh.. aah, wait! Farewell, my wonderful fa - !

[silentmouthpiece]

I hate to say it, but i might as well.

It would be so easy to become a Jimmy. Hell, there are Jimmy's everywhere, but no one wants to admit or even realize that it would be easy to be just like them.

A problem we have as a people is that as soon as someone commits a horrible or unforgivable act we dehumanize them call them monsters. I'm guilty of it as well. It makes it easier to separate them from us, to believe that no real human could commit such acts. The thing is...they are human. They are like us and we are like them.

Jimmy is human. A severely fucked up one who's gone unchecked to the point of catastrophe, but he's human like us. He sounds and acts like a human, and his actions are very fucking human. His issues that spiraled so out of control are so very human that when I look at them in a certain way I see my reflection in the mirror. I see Jimmy in the ways some people walk and how they talk, but no one ever wants to see Jimmy within themselves. I wish I could say I'm nothing like Jimmy, but I can see all the ways I'd turn out like him if just a few things were different.

If I were a man, would I have absord the toxic masculinity of the fathers and guy friends in my life and all that entails? If I was less empathetic, would I let my resentment at the state of my life control me to the point I can only see the worst in others instead of force myself to maintain a sliver of compassion and optimism? If I wasn't desperate to be self-aware, would my crippling fear of failure and lack of self-worth blind me to the reality that I allowed them to hollow me out and leave me with nothing to be proud of? If a younger me didn't convince myself that I can only punish myself for anything that happens, would I have turned my anger and listlessness into a blade that cuts others instead of turn it inwards or share it with my friends? Would I inflict pain on others once I realized I could fullfil a need by doing so? I could go on.

I am also ashamed to admit that one of my knee-jerk reactions to hurting someone badly (albiet unintentionally) or realizing I was increadibly wrong about something is denial. It doesn't last forever but I will obsess over it for a long time afterwards. It's a nasty feeling and it's an instinct that literally feels like a chain yanking my brain to follow it. Primal fear feels like that as well, and it rears it's ugly head when I'm faced with confronted with reality and consequences of my actions.

I want to go back to college, but whenever my mother brings it up I get locked into a state of primal fear, insecurity and hopelessness because I crafted a reality where I have no skills, goals or ability to pursue a higher education or a life that suits me. Confronting that reality sends me spiraling down a very strong wave of depression that often debilitates me, though I've gotten better at climbing out of it so I can at least focus on my job. It still feels like I'm being compelled to enforce that reality, and that instinct overrides all better senses. It's an unchecked issue that controls my actions.

When I talk to my friends all I can see is that they have something they're skilled at or passionate about, and that they're doing what I told myself I can't. I never thought I was a jealous or envious person, but I think that's because I never resented anyone for what they had. However, I see so many instances and depictions of resentful and malicous envy/jealousy that I know they are typically linked. In a world that's more competitive than I ever was, these emotions drive people to harm each other all the time for any reason one could think of. The worst part is those people can also happen to be friends and family who love each other deep down. It's so damn common that it must be human.

I don't understand the need to force myself on anyone for pleasure or control, so I can't relate or speak on that. It's happened often enough that others can speak on it and that's terrifying, and what I see is so beyond my ability to comprehend as an actual thought process or mentality but it's still very real and human. Animals do it to and humans are animals, but we're not talking about that. I suppose the closest I can get is the callousness I can feel sometimes when I'm absolutely out of patience with someone.

All that to say is... I think I get Jimmy and his inability to accept responsibility and the cognitive dissonance of wanting to be seen as good and capable as he destroys everything and everyone he touches. I get his resentment and jealousy of Curly and that it's so tied deeply with his love for him that it twists into something noxious and all-consuming. I get how his warped perception of others didn't stop him from caring for others (mostly the guys), but it affected how and how much he cares for them. I get the casual cruelty he can dish out and I understand being locked in the worst mental autopilot to avoid the fallout of your reality that you made because couldn't accept yourself.

I hope that all made sense. Jimmy really got me thinking.

[twentyonefirstmates]

Just looked at the digital remains again and oh my god why are we not talking more about the original lyrics to backslide

If I were to backslide, tell everyone we know

Thanks for the last time they came out

...

Why did I not thank you more, saving me those other times

(Don't you dare jump in)

...

I'd rather you hurt me, than do nothing at all

I'd rather you let me down, than just gas me up

I'd rather you cuse me, than do nothing at all

...

You won't make a sound, pick someone else I won't be around

Trapped inside your smile, don't put me on trial

Don't you see you take, everything from me

[hoshiina]

pairing: akatsuki hyoga x gn!reader (no prns)

summary: kind of inspired by from the start by laufey, you loved him from the start

warnings: the reader is described as beautiful and pretty, hyoga is kind of sweet

If someone were to ask you what made you fall in love with Hyoga, you’d be in a bind, because you truly had no reason. You had no idea what started this little crush, but you were certain you loved him, there was no mistake about it. From the way you would notice your eyes following him, all the way to the way your heart would flutter when he talked to you. There was no other explanation of these emotions you harboured.

Hyoga was skeptical at times. He enjoyed talking to you far more than you would ever imagine, but sometimes he would have a sense that you might have some feelings for him. However, every time he had thought of this, it would immediately fade as he came to his senses, because there was absolutely no way you would fall for him. There was nothing he had ever done that could possibly come across as good, let alone something that would make someone fall for him. And definitely not you.

There were so many people who would kill to get one date with you, but none of them had had the confidence to ask. You were the most beautiful person most people had laid their eyes on, and he wasn’t an exception. This wasn’t only about your looks either, it was actually mainly about who you were. You would always be down to help and you always had a smile on, no matter the day. 

Your existence was more of an annoyance to Hyoga when you were just revived. He first assumed that Senkuu had just decided to revive a pretty person to raise the moral of the team, after realizing you had no particular strengths. However, it wasn’t long until he realized it wasn’t your looks that were making everyone’s day, it was rather your energy that was. For the first time in his life, he realized the effect one’s kindness can have on others. Soon after, the two of you had your first conversation, and for the first time in a very long time, you brought a smile to his face.

Now, you had no idea how to make Hyoga fall for you. You had pondered on this for months now, thinking about this every time you talked to him. Quite frankly, you were tired. You wanted him to like you so badly and today you were going to go for it. You had to start somewhere and whatever you were doing obviously wasn’t working.

The next time you talked to Hyoga was rather soon. He was just finishing his training for the day and you had just helped bring back the minerals that Chrome had found today. You were always nervous when you talked to him, but today must have been so much worse than usual, because you blurted out the words you had carefully held in for months.

“Hyoga, I like you,” you said and he was visibly shaken, but to his surprise you looked just as horrified. 

“...What?” he asked, genuinely surprised.

“That came out wrong,” you said and he undeniably felt his heart drop a little. Of course it did.

“If you’re going to pull that prank, at least do it to someone believable,” Hyoga said.

“What?” you said and immediately you realized what he meant. “No, I do like you. I’m serious, I just didn’t mean to blurt it out like that.”

“There’s no way,” Hyoga said, but he was hoping you would deny him and explain. “What have I ever done to make you like me?”

“Well, I’m sure that I do. I can’t quite point out when I first fell in love, but I can list things I like about you,” you said, absolutely confident. “I like the way you don’t say things you don’t mean. I like the way you care for those who matter. Oh, I love the way you’re always working hard. I know you’ve never skipped a day of training, even when you were burning up with that fever and you really should’ve...” You were ready to go on but the way Hyoga’s eyes widened surprised you. Immediately, you remembered when you first fell in love with Hyoga.

It was like you had thawed his frozen heart. He was so lost on how to react, no one had ever said that to him before. It was then that he remembered the time he probably fell for you. It was the first time the two of you had talked and your first comment was that you liked his kudayari spear. He had questioned if you were familiar with it and you told him you were not, a little embarrassed. You had admitted that you hardly knew anything about combats and weapons, but you assumed that the wear and tear in his spear showed how hard he worked. That couldn’t help but make him smile.

You were always like that. 

“Hyoga, I remember what made me fall in love,” you said, almost proud. “The first time we talked, you smiled. I thought a cupid shot me in the heart.”

Your confident demeanor was slowly fading away as you waited for his response. He could tell you were nervous and that made his heart flutter. You were serious. 

It wasn’t on purpose, it wasn’t because you had just said that. He just couldn’t help but smile. 

“Then, I fell in love first.”

BONUS

"No way," you said, unable to process that he returned your feelings, let alone fell first.

"You better not go around doing that to other people," he said, not elaborating on the previous statement.

"Oh, don't be silly," you said and he opened his mouth to tell you he was serious, but you went on. "I've only ever been looking at you, how would I know anything about anyone else?"

[ssreeder]

Hi, I sent an ask like 5 minutes ago but I'm not sure if it went through for certain reasons so if it did just ignore that,

I love your fic so much. One of my favourite things is the authors note, I love hearing your rambles and thought processes behind certain scenes,

And JEE💖💖

The jee lovers in the fandom are small but dedicated, I love that man.

Any situation of an older man reluctantly and unknowingly adopting a child they hate and growing soft for them I love, I could ramble on for hours about certain headcanons I have regarding jee and zuko for hours, I need more of them (AND HIM AND BATO (please don't kill them i need AT LEAST 1 queer couple to be happy in this fic🙏🙏))

Also another thing, I do fanart and I really want to do art for this fic but I have no idea which scene to do, is there any specific ones you would want art of?

HI HI HI HI HIIII!!

I didn’t get your five minute ago ask but I got this one!! ahhhhhh my shameful authors notes haha I am very unhinged in there, I think I black out and rub my face in the keyboard honestly.

JEE LOVERS UNITED WE STAND!!!! I adore his dislike of both zuko & sokka in the beginning and now he’s falling hard for sokkas uncle and has pretty much said if anything happens to these kids I’ll burn this bitch to the ground. Unfortunately, Jees situation is going to get a bit more complicated he just doesn’t realize it yet haha.

THERE IS A HAPPY QUEER COUPLE! *gestures at liab zuko* I mean they’re happy like…. some of the time haha. Ok ok I see your point but no promises because you know when I start blowing shit up in liab I can get a little crazy :D mwahahaha.

FAN ART FOR ME?!1?27,771!37/&/ YOU KNOW HOW TO MAKE ME FERAL!!! ahhhhh honestly idk how to pick scenes im so bad at it i dont know what to choose but if you did wanna draw any scenes maybe any from ITF? Your fave or ones scenes you liked idk that’s my suggestion lol.

thanks for this amazing ask you’re a beautiful human thank you!

[bl-inkstone]

changed my tune so fast just bc of youtube autoplay lmao ok here have some sagau diluc thoughts

the player, diluc thinks, is an incredibly endearing being.

he's come a long way from the curt and wary attitude he used to put on around the traveler (and by extension, you), and today is one of those days where he finds himself privately thanking whatever powers there may be that allowed your paths to cross, with him staring at the reflection of you hidden deep within the traveler's eyes in the wake of his fight with the abyss that fateful night in mondstadt.

as one of the first people to have their constellations manifest in the sky of teyvat, diluc is more than aware that the fact that you still choose to ask for his company in your (or, well, the traveler's) journey is a gift he must treasure deeply. he knows that it is your presence in this world that gives vision bearers a chance to become something greater than they presently are. he also knows that he is no longer as impressive of a companion in battle as he used to be from back when the sky wasn't as bright as it is now (when the world you knew was smaller and he was still a figure that you could look to and proudly call "your main").

but you always come back to him. when he least expects it, you invite him back to your party and diluc can't help but privately think, privately wish, that it's because you're as fond of him as he is of you.

standing in silent prayer while you bestow upon him artifacts that thrum with divine power is an experience he can never tire of. the claymores you give him, the food he eats, all the materials he needs to reach a breakthrough in his capabilities... he understands that you aren't teyvat's creator, but this world and everything in it seems to exist just for you. you, the provider, the sustainer, the beloved of all. sometimes, diluc feels that everything he has and ever worked for have all been for the sake of one day meeting you.

he's not a religious man by principle, and he loathes people of absolute power. the only exception to this, however, is you. he's not foolish enough to believe you're some omnipotent, omniscient being that lords above all. no, you're not like that. he knows this because the longer he journeys with the traveler and feels their bond strengthen, the faint whispers he used to strain himself to hear grow clearer and clearer until finally, one day, he hears you.

you're both nothing and everything he thought you'd be. you view the world of teyvat with so much awe and joy that it's infectious, and he finds himself smiling more often than not to the privilege of finally hearing you. the traveler always looks at him with an understanding smile when diluc slows down in their travels to listen to you. he lives for the moments when you talk to yourself or to someone else (a companion of your own, maybe? from your place beyond the stars?) because this is how he learns. your favorite food, your favorite nations, your favorite "characters" and more. he holds every morsel of information you unknowingly give close to his chest where all his affections and wishes hide. he likes to think that this way, he can be closer and better for you.

but he knows he's not the only one who hears you, and it is the traveler that is closest to you out of all them. even so, diluc harbors no ill will to the avatar you chose to see and travel the world through. you're so fond of the traveler, and how could he ever come to loathe anything graced by your love?

he knows how to play nice. it helps that most of your other chosen are people he can find himself enjoying the company of as well. diluc understands that as much as he wants to be the sole holder of your attention, the world does not function that way. he's willing to extend an olive branch so long as they can all work together to keep you present in teyvat. he can worry about his more aggressive competition later when they aren't at risk of being caught in such an unsightly state by you — all that matters to him, right now, is how to keep your gaze on him for just a little longer and keep you from leaving him again.

it's a daunting thing to be so close to your grace. you take diluc to lands he'd never thought he'd visit again, to ruins of civilizations long past, domains with unimaginable horrors and have him run, claymore and vision burning at his hip, into fight after fight at your command. it's tiring at best and painful at worst, but you always take care to heal him and his companions before leaving, and you always lead them somewhere safe to rest until teyvat brightens and you come again.

his current companions (his "supports", he inwardly preens) rest and talk amongst themselves once they feel your presence leave. it used to be something they, your chosen, would panic over, but now that they've gotten more used to you and all the signs that pointed that yes, this is your will, they've grown to be able to tolerate the harrowing chill that comes when your warmth leaves them. diluc leans back on his chair in front of good hunter to observe them. they're all people he's come to grow fond of in time: diona was prickly, yes, but ha become pleasant to be around once they grew past their misunderstandings. the young master of the feiyun commerce guild, xingqiu, was also a reliable companion both in and outside of battle, and for all his faults, venti has proven himself to be a devout believer, unwilling to be a burden to you or the party you've guided him towards.

under normal circumstances, he never would've met and forged such strong bonds with these people. if not for your own interference, he never would've bothered getting to know any of them at all. though he may have his own gripes and complaints at times of how their dynamic works when you're not around, diluc is still fond of them. he's grateful for the opportunity to grow close to people again, and traveling the world alongside them and the traveler has become one of the few things he's begun to look forward to outside of his duties as "diluc, master of dawn winery." when the day is done and he can sit and relax with them in the tables in front of good hunter, he can rest in the company of others who understand the near-maddening pull in his chest that draws him to try and get closer, closer, to you.

it's days like these where diluc quietly thanks whatever it is brought you to them, and prays that one day, he will no longer have to search through the traveler's eyes to see you.

[honeyconez]

guys hear me out would painis cupcake pay taxes? Because he’s not like mega insane like ass pancakes I think he’d pay his taxes in my professional opinion.

[dennisboobs]

Dennis says the L word

[mr-nauseam]

New goal. Be able to make a dope Sejanus pov 🙏🙏🥺

[waterfallofspace]

Reminiscing On Rebuttals.

The one in which W/olfwood seems to have a cold, and V/ash dips into his memories in order to fight the urge to say something about it. Feat. A ‘not-so-surprise’ twist as to the cause of the ‘sickness’. Also featuring V/ashwood because this is absolutely a date even though neither of them can admit it. 

Made ~this post~ and asked for suggestions, W/olfwood was picked to be the one suffering by @lycheeehehe and since I wholeheartedly agree, and deeply love this man, here’s the results of that suggestion! (sorry for ANOTHER tag <3)

To anyone who reads this, thank you! And I hope you enjoy it~~

(Contains references to swearing and mild violence, in case anyone doesn’t like those!) 

Characters: V/ash, W/olfwood, + flashback/memories featuring M/eryl and R/oberto Word count: 3.6k

~~~~~~~ “Over here, Needle noggin.” Vash waves, giving Wolfwood a warm smile as he enters the dome. The sentiment is not returned, but he does get the signature smirk, cigarette hanging from his mouth, as usual. ‘Whoops- probably should have warned him ahead of time…�� “H- hey, you actually can’t smoke in here.” Wolfwood pauses, giving Vash a measured look, dropping and crushing it with a huff. Vash responds with a sheepish smile, before gasping, holding up a finger. “I actually have something you can have instead!” He digs frantically through his pockets, ‘Come on, where did I leave it… I know I put it somewhe- ah-hah! Got it!’ He stands tall, eyes closing as the smile takes over his cheeks, and holds out the lollipop. “You bought me candy?” “Well… yeah! I figured that you’d be unhappy with the no smoking rule, but I remember you sometimes like to suck on candies instead, so… w- was it not right..?” There’s a hesitation in Wolfwood’s posture that Vash can’t seem to read, but after a pause, he takes it. Vash lets the smile brush back over his face, turning on his heel to start giving Wolfwood a tour, before he pauses. “What was that?” Wolfwood’s stiff, and Vash notices the way his face has a bit more colour then it did a minute ago. “What was what, blondie?” “Hm… nothing, I guess. Just thought I heard something.” “We’re in a fucking bubble of plants. You probably heard some, I don’t know, plant noises.” A laugh shakes Vash’s body, even Wolfwood cracking a smile at the sound. Vash lightly grips his arm, letting the excitement flow through him again. “Can I give you a tour? There’s a lot that’s changed since the last time you’ve been here, and I wanna show you all of it! My favourite is probably the trees, they’re so huge, oh wait no, my favourite is actually th-” “knNNT’chh-!” “Oh, bless you Nicholas!” “N- not yehht- hH’GNxxt’chh-! dnGT’chh-!uhhh...”  “Bless you again! Are you-” “I’m fine, focus on the tour.” It would be more convincing if he didn’t have to break away to let an itchy cough dance through his chest at the end. Vash lets his grip tighten on Wolfwood’s arm, the latter still not having pulled away. They stand like that for a moment, Vash feeling every shiver that runs down Wolfwood’s spine travel up his arm as the coughing breaks off into heady sniffles. Vash can feel the question simmering on his tongue, starting to burn his mouth. ‘Are you sick?’ But before he lets it out, his mind drags him back to travelling with Meryl and Roberto. ~~~ “Are ya sick, Wolfie?” “I t- told you… hH’ZSHHHEEW-! God almighty- I told you not to call me that.” Roberto raises an eyebrow, feigning innocence. ‘It doesn’t suit him’ Vash allows himself to think, throwing a blessing at Wolfwood before glancing back over at Meryl, who has pressed herself as far away from the coughing man as she can manage in such a small car. “You didn’t answer the question.” “I’m not sick. hEH’KESHHH’AA!” “Bless you!”  “Real convincing.”  “Wel- eh’kNTSSHHH’AA-! Fucking- hAH’IHHZZSHHEEW-! If you weren’t plannin’ on listening to my answer, why ask the damn question at all?”  “Bless you!”  Vash can’t help but chuckle, blushing slightly at the dirty look Roberto shoots him for the laughter. “I- I mean, he’s got a point, what his answer was gonna be was k- kinda obvious.” “See? Even spiky hair gets it.” “Vash isn’t exactly the blueprint for how to be honest ‘bout your health.” “I guess you’re right there, but that don’t mean I’m sick just because blondie agreed with me. His lack of self care ain’t relevant. heHhh-! Christ, not agai- eH’AAIYESHH’AA-!”  “B- bless you…” The pint tint deepens as Vash sinks into his seat, shooting Roberto a sheepish grin, met with a shrug, before glancing back at Wolfwood. He manages to catch the hiss that scrapes through the tired man’s throat as he brings his fingers up to pinch the bridge of his defined nose. “Headache?” He’s careful to keep his voice down, Meryl and Roberto having started a conversation ‘More like argument’ about her driving style. Wolfwood gives a slight grimace in his direction, letting his eyes flutter shut as he roughly attempts to crush all of his nose in his wrist, unsuccessfully, as the tickle takes over again. “hAH’AIISHHH’AA-!”  Meryl jumps once more, though Vash can’t tell if it’s from the noise or the fear of germs. Either way Wolfwood doesn’t miss it, neither does Vash miss the pale red starting to spread across his ears. In an effort to remedy the situation, Vash pulls out a pile of crumpled napkins, handing them over with a silent smile in lieu of a blessing. Wolfwood gives him a slight nod of thanks before burying his nose in a few rapidly pressed against his face. “hH’MMFFFSHHH’UHH-!” “Bless you.” It’s barely a whisper, but Vash knows it was heard. He lets his hand wander up from the seat to rest against Wolfwood’s shoulder, wincing at the tension that meets him. Wolfwood meets his eyes, a flicker of something burning in them that Vash can’t help but yearn for. “Sleep.” Wolfwood nods, letting his head fall to the side, the side that Vash’s hand just so happens to be placed on. Vash lets out a warm smile, eyes jumping to the front to make sure they’re not being observed. After confirming they’re not, he runs his hand against the tired man’s cheek, his blush spreading deeper at the slight congested sigh he’s met with, shortly replaced with stuffy snores.  ~~~ “You’re not gonna faint on me, are ya?”  Vash feels the world rush back into focus, Wolfwood’s expression teasing, but with a hint of genuine concern drifting in his eyes. ‘Oh, I totally just spaced out… how long was I not paying attention? It’s not like I can tell him what I was thinking about… come on Vash, think on your feet, you’re supposed to be good at this!’  “N- no of course not! Sorry I was uh… just thinking about p- plants…” Wolfwood raises an eyebrow at this and Vash mentally smacks himself. Thankfully, Wolfwood doesn’t fight it any further, most likely too focused on directing another wet sniffle at his shoulder, followed by an entirely too itchy throat clearing. “Alright then. eH’GNT’chh-! You gonna start showing me the plants instead of jus’ thinkin’ about them?” “Bless you! Right, of course, let’s go left first, that’s where the trees are, work our way back over to the far right, that’s where my favourite ones are!” “Lead the way, blondie.” A squeak escapes Vash’s mouth as he beams at Wolfwood, grabbing his arm again and dragging him off towards the trees. He can’t help but try to speed a bit through the explanations as Wolfwood’s sniffling seems to increase to a near constant level. Light, yet itchy sounding coughs keep spinning him away from Vash. ‘And then there’s the sneezing that he seems determined to stifle til it kills him, stubborn idiot.’ “hH’dnXGT-! haHHhh-! iH’ASH’nxxGT’choo-!”  “Bless you…” Wolfwood responds with a deep sniff, letting his nose rub against his wrist with an urgency that seems almost too personal to watch. Vash turns away to give him a bit of space, feeling his chest clench at the way the last one nearly broke through. “R- ready to continue?” “Go ‘head, keep talking about your trees.” “Actually we’re onto the bushes now! I know, it seems a bit like trees but smaller, but there’s actually a load of differences. So firstly-”  Vash lets himself start rambling out facts about bushes as easily as breathing. He’s spent days on end studying each plant in the dome, listening to people talk about them, reading about them anywhere he can find information. ‘There’s just something so soothing about them… a simplicity that humans don’t seem to share. It’s one of the things I love most about humanity, and yet… also something I adore about the plants.’ A slight hum pulls Vash out of his monologue, letting his eyes rest comfortably on Wolfwood’s gruff form. His hand is permanently pressed to his nose, a slight cough escaping on every second sentence, colour starting to spread through his cheeks. Despite all this, Vash can tell he’s listening to every fact, soaking in all the beauty of nature. And maybe, soaking in the beauty of something else too.  “You said these things flower, and then grow berries from those flowers?” “Yeah! Which is really fascinating because the flowers themselves aren’t particularly tasty, or edible for that matter, but the berries are delicious!”  “If you say so. hEH’enGNXT-! dtKNgxxt’-!” “Bless you. It’s actually surprising how many plants are edible, and which ones taste good! See, some look good, but don’t tast-” “hA’DANGTT-! S- shit… huHhh-! Guhh… ihhh… hiHH’AIIESHHH’AA-!” “Oh, bless you again!”  “Don’t waste your breath, needle noggin. You were saying something about tasting good?” Vash tries to recall the point he was making, but his attention is preoccupied watching Wolfwood attempt to rub his nose clean off his face. He lets out another light cough, stumbling a bit with the effort taken to contain the sneezes that follow right on its heels. ‘Seems they’re not satisfied being crushed into oblivion anymore.’ Vash fights the instinct to offer a blessing, instead offering a distraction from the miserable sniffling. “EHHNGXT’choo-! hehh’SHHkngtt’choo-!” “Can’t remember what I was saying before, but that’s okay, you’ve probably had enough bush facts… Let’s move to the flowers instead, some of my favourites are over there! They just have such beautiful colours, it’s almost like a sunrise but in a physical form, plus-” Grabbing Wolfwood’s arm yet again, Vash practically skips over to the flowers, his excitement only dulled by the way Wolfwood flinches away from Vash into his shoulder to stifle another set.  “iH’hNGtt-! eh’KngXT-!” “Bless you.” “Thanks, blondie… excuse me.”  Standing in front of the flowers, gesturing to a field of poppies, Vash finds himself studying Wolfwood, trying to catalogue symptoms. ‘He doesn’t seem feverish, but there’s the sneezing, sniffling, he’s got a cough, and his voice seems to be getting hoarse. Though, I can’t tell if that’s from the stifling or a sore throat. And then he excused himself instead of brushing it off or making a joke… he’s gotta be feeling worse than he’s letting on… I should really say something… but…’   ~~~ “INKGT’shoo-!” “Bless you. You should really stop that, you’re gonna implode.” “Thanks for the concern shortie, but it’s misplaced. You should be more worried about the fucking mob waiting to skin us alive outside the door. Thanks for that, stampede.”  Vash blushes, Roberto and Wolfwood shooting matching glares in his direction while Meryl offers a sympathetic smile.  “I tried to warn you! I said they weren’t exactly fans of mine here…” Meryl suddenly joins in on the glares, Vash feeling his face run pale, a sheepish smile forming as she waves her hands around with an irritated retort.  “That’s not the same thing as ‘oh hey guys, heads up, the whole town will actively try to hunt me down and kill me’.” “hH’AIIYYZZSHHEWW-! RRSHHH’AA-!” Roberto rolls his eyes as Vash and Meryl offer simultaneous blessings, Wolfwood brushing them off with a rough sigh, turning his attention back to the crack between the boards of the window they’re crouched around.  “It looks to be about ten, maybe fifteen at most. I could take maybe six on a good day.” “Is this a good day, undertaker?” “heHhH-! hEPT’TNGGK’choo-! Christ- iHH’ZZSHHHEEW-!” Meryl and Vash echo the previous blessing, prompting a new round of eyerolls from Roberto, Wolfwood joining in this time, before Roberto casts his eyes back on the sickly man.   “Gonna take that as a no.” “I’m fine. Now are we gonna do this or what, blondie?” “Y- yeah… I mean… or we could try to find a back way, run away before they can get in…?” “An- AYYZZSCHHH’OO-! And why exactly would we do that?”  A nervous smile works its way across Vash’s face as he goes to answer, Meryl shooting him a pointed look he chooses to ignore. ‘Someone’s gotta say something… he’s gonna get himself killed if he tries to go out there in this state.’ “Bless you… and well… you seem a… a bit… sick- hey, ouch!” Vash yelps as Wolfwood’s hand meets the back of his head with a rough swat. Roberto lets out a light chuckle which Meryl glares at him for, giving Vash a soft smile as he rights himself. Wolfwood, however, is glowering at him. “I am not sick. I don’t get sick. heHhh…! Oh for fucks- hEH’KNNZSSHHHEW-!” “Deny as much as you’d like, Wolfie-” “Don’t call me that.” “-the fact remains, you’re in no state to take on this many people. Stampede is right, for once, we should try to find a back way out and sneak away.” “Fine, I ain’t gonna fight you. Rather save my energy for kicking this one’s ass for getting us into this mess.” Another blush spreads across Vash’s ears, dipping down into his cheeks as he rubs the back of his neck with his hand. Wolfwood smirks a little at the display, before dipping back into his chest with another harsh outburst.  “knNGT’ZSHHH’oo-! IHHZZYYSHHHEW-!” “Bless you.”  There’s silence in response, but as Meryl and Roberto head downstairs to start scoping out possible exits, Wolfwood lets his head rest against Vash’s shoulder, sniffling deepling as the position loosens the congestion. Vash lets a soft smile form, running his fingers through Wolfwood’s hair, giggling at the sigh it releases. “I’ve got you, Nicholas.” “I know, blondie.” ~~~ The scene finishes playing in Vash’s mind. As he regains conscious-thought he finds, much to his alarm, that he’s been talking the whole time. ‘So final verdict, mentioning the illness leads to physical retaliation, but if I just keep up what I’m doing he’ll seek comfort on his own terms. I can do that. Side point, it seems I can just rattle off facts about flowers without even being consciously aware of it…’ “-and that’s why I enjoy lavender. Do I talk in my sleep?” Wolfwood who’s been nodding along, offering light hums or growls between the outpouring of his symptoms suddenly stops, raising an eyebrow as he casts a smirk towards Vash. “Where did that come from?” “I just- uhh… was wondering..?” “hEH’INNGT’shoo-! Well-”  “Bless you.” “-not much that I’ve heard, just a few words here and there.” “What?! And no one ever thought to tell me?” Vash gets a shrug in response, but a mischief dances through Wolfwood’s watery eyes, smirk deepening against his cheeks. ‘He’s obviously feeling well enough to make fun of me still, though given his mindset of denial, that just means he isn’t on death's door yet.’  “I guess it must’ve slipped my mind. hH’ESHNXXT’shoo-! Damn it.”  “Bless you. D- do you maybe have a…” Wolfwood throws a dirty glare his way, eyes daring Vash to finish the sentence. In response, Vash feels his cheeks warm, ears starting to faintly burn. It’s quickly replaced by a pang of concern as the latest sneeze has left Wolfwood slightly trembling as he attempts to catch his breath. ‘I need a new plan, something to get him sitting down so he can rest, without being too obvious. I could say that I need to rest, but he wouldn’t buy that… Oh I got it!’  “Do you wanna come see my favourite flowers? They’re called sunflowers, they’re so tall and bright yellow with a black center, it’s just stunning, wanna see..?” “That’s what I’m here for, ain’t it?” The response sounds cold, but there’s a playful tone in Wolfwood’s voice that sends chills down Vash’s spine. His hand trembles at the thought of grabbing him again, ‘Maybe I shouldn’t keep pulling on him… I don’t know if he wants-’ but before he can spiral too far, Wolfwood lets his own hand grip Vash’s. Neither of them says a word, matching colours blooming over their cheeks as Vash leads him towards the flowers.  “There’s a bench in the middle of the field, it’s practically surrounded by them, can we sit on it..? I really like how close you feel to them on it.” “hept’IZNNGT’choo-! Scuse me. If you insist, blondie. Your tour after all.” Despite the way he rolls his eyes, Vash can hear the sigh Wolfwood releases as he sits, elbows resting on his knees as he lets his head fall into his hands. Vash starts to ramble on about the sunflowers, but is cut off before he even finishes the first sentence. “I love how tall they are, they even reach up to our hea-” “hAH’AIIIYYSHH’OO-! KZZSHHH’AA-! hiHhH’IZZSHHH’AA-!” “Bless yo-” “KNG-ZZSHH’AA-! I can’t… hUH’EEYSHHHEWW-! AIIEESHHHEW-! RRSHHHH’AA-! I can’t stop… heHhH-! ahh…. iHH’KNGTT-DTGXT-huH’IZZSSHHH’OO-!” “Are you okay-?” Vash’s panicked tone comes with a frantic attempt to figure out why Wolfwood’s suddenly so much worse. He lets his worried gaze run across Wolfwood’s convulsing form, a stabbing pain in his heart as the sneezing man attempts to give him a wide eyed look. He only succeeds in prying open his eyes for a second before the onslaught crushes them shut once more. “hEH’KETSCHHH’AA-! eh’kNTSHhhew-! What the fuck is happening- haAhHH-! aiiyESHH-keschhh-rRRESHH’AA-!” “Come on Nico, just try to breathe. Bless you- I don’t understand why it got so much worse?!”  “I- eh’EASCHHH’oo-! hH’RRSHHH’AA-! KESSHH’AA-! Every breath- ma- makesitworse- hEH’INGGTT’choo-!” “Bless you… Every brea- shit Nicholas- stand up, right now, here, grab my arm, just stand up! Why didn’t you say something?”  Wolfwood does as he’s told, and Vash grimaces at the state of his nose as he leaves the safety of his arm to shoot Vash a confused look before ducking back in, smothering another desperate fit. “MMFFSHH’AA-! hEH’INNGT-RRSHHH’AA-! eH’MMFFSHH’OO-!” Vash pulls Wolfwood along at a pace that leaves both of them panting for air as they reach the doors of the dome. He practically throws Wolfwood through them, the panting man slumping down the wall until he’s sitting on the floor, Vash taking a seat next to him. “Christ Nico, why would you enter the dome if this was gonna happen? Bless you again…”  The sudden realization that seems to dawn on Wolfwood’s face between desperate hitching nearly gets a laugh out of Vash. Without a word, Wolfwood ducks back into his shoulder, aiming away from Vash but entirely giving up on catching them. Vash takes a deep breath to calm himself, noticing how they’re already sounding slightly softer.  “uhH’ZZSHHHEWW-! yyyiESSHH’aa-! hh’AIISHhh’oo-!” “Here, bless you by the way, take these, they’re not much, but it should help.” Wolfwood greedily accepts the napkins, attempting to crush his defined nose into the stack as another set pushes its way out of his battered sinuses. “heHh’knNGSHH’oo-! iZZSHHHEEW-! Fuckin- hAH’AIISHH’aa-!” “Bless you. Jeez, I thought you were just sick? Why didn’t you tell me?”  “I als- heH’ESHHEEWW-! Also thought I w- hH’RRUSHH’AA-! was just si... sick- hAH’keTCHshh’oo-!”  Another itchy cough leaves both wincing as Wolfwood attempts to suck air back into his lungs between spasms. Vash runs through the events in his head, too distracted to offer a blessing. ‘I should have noticed… when he’s sick it usually starts in his throat, he should have been hoarse before the sneezing started… I was just so distracted by the plants…’ “It’s my fault, I’m sorry. I should have noticed, or said something, I just…” Wolfwood lets out a rough laugh as the coughing fades out, sending the burning feeling back to Vash’s gut. Chills run down his spine as he realizes one of Wolfwood’s hands is still clinging to his. Wolfwood sniffles deep and wet before he responds. “Not your fault. I’m not the easiest person, am I, blondie?” “Heh… not exactly…” “Seems I’m not the easiest allergic person ei- heH’IZZSHH’AA-! either.” “Bless you… Again- I’m really sorry Nicholas, I shoul-” A light squeeze to his hand shuts Vash’s mouth mid word. His eyes trace up to Wolfwoods, shivering at the warmth that’s waiting for him. “Not your fault. I’ve had this sort of reaction to things before. Turns out I’m a pretty allergy prone guy I guess. Christ- eH’KETSHHEEW-! aiiYESHH’aa-! Might be one of the reasons I enjoy trudging the desert so much. Don’t normally run into much besides sand.”  “Bless you. You have allergies?” “Yeah, and what of it? They’re actually a sign your immune system works too well. Plus I guess I needed something to combat the fact I basically never get sick. Wouldn’t be fair to all you folk if I just got to be immune to everything.” Vash allows the laugh bubbling up in his chest to reveal itself, mind flashing back to all the many, many times he’d seen Wolfwood sick. ‘Denial to the very end. Predictable as always, Nicholas.’ Wolfwood’s smile brightens at the sound, dark eyes feeling nothing but warm as Vash soaks them in. “hEh’aiiYEshh’oo-!” “You’re starting to sound a bit better, bless you. I guess not being in the dome helps. And it probably helps to not be sitting at nose-level with all that polle-” “hEH’RRUSHHH’AA-! IZZSHHHEEEW-! Oh god blondie, don’t even say the word.” “Bless you! Sorry! Why don’t we go see if home has some medication somewhere.” Wolfwood coughs again, lighter but still itchy, and lets out another deep sniff. “Sounds like a plan. hept’ktSHHAA-!” “Bless you, Nicholas.”  “Thank you, Vash.” Shivers run down his spine at the use of his name. ‘People call me that all the time but… somehow it feels so… personal… when he does it.’ A bright smile slips across his face, Wolfwood echoing it with one of his own, whispering something under his breath that Vash just catches, before standing and starting to head toward home.  “I’ve always loved your real smile.” 

[axreliono]

trying to add a scene into an old chap bc a specific plot thread has been bothering me for a while now but ITS SO HARD TO CHANGE SOMETHING THATS ALREADY PUBLISHED WITHOUT ENTIRELY REWRITING. my editing style is quite literally "if sucks, rewrite from scratch" which isnt useful rn. pain and suffering for ten thousand years

[ziracona]

I know I say this every time I read my own work, but Speak for the Dead really is the best chapter in ILM.

“Well, you know for the first time in a long time this actually feels like fall?”

Jane Romero was smiling at him, sitting propped up against a tree in what had sort of become her usual ‘therapy’ corner in the past almost two weeks. And she was right, it did feel like fall. The air wasn’t as sharply cold as normal, and honestly ‘sharply’ cold was a nice break in and of itself when it happened—usually the weather here was somehow just cold—cold with no adjectives attached. But today it was nicer. It was the kind of waiting fall cold that came when it wasn’t biting outside yet, and it was almost pleasant. A promise of a change in the seasons. Tapp wondered why.

The trees hadn’t started to change color with it, or fall in piles, and as far as he’d gathered there weren’t seasons in here. Everything looked the same. Tall, thick woods, undergrowth and moss and rocks and fallen logs, a slight breeze on and off. Dark sky overhead, full moon, at this point long since throwing off everyone’s idea of what day and night were supposed to mean. All the usual. Except, somehow, the kind of cold in the weather. Who knew, maybe nothing had changed. Maybe they had just started to feel better.

LIKE. Those opening lines mean nothing but environmental flavor when you read them. But they’re a lead in for the thesis of the entire chapter.

“Well, you know for the first time in a long time this actually feels like fall?” - A promise of a change in the seasons. - Who knew, maybe nothing had changed. Maybe they had just started to feel better.

Like that’s it. Speak for the Dead is about a lot of things, but at its heart it’s about healing. It’s about forgiveness and healing, that exists between the living and the dead. It’s about how you can only speak for them, by speaking for them. Not how you want to punish yourself or live for them, but by how you know they would forgive you, or would ask you to live. Very little other than exchanges of information happen, but so much happens at the same time. All of it significant. It’s hope. It’s about how Tapp (and Meg) have spent every day here fighting in their own way to cope with the agony and failure of their lives, and the loss of people they couldn’t save, and have only dug their wounds deeper. About love. About nothing stoping the lambs from screaming except accepting that they want to let you go.

[kittenofdoom]

Eeeeeeee I'm so excited!!!

[abyssalpriest]

God I could and should write a whole fucking book by the end of this life here on Lev and his symbols

ill write it then burn it before anyone else gets a copy. or i wont. im supposed to be helping him this incarnation here to get a better anchor in this plane so maybe it would help more than itd be weird - im just getting from him the energy of "yeah no people already effectively have these things, people on my plane already know me inside and out to an extensive degree, may as well have it here too" you know. fair