#then i wrote the “100k” bit and it ended up 200k

[axreliono]

trying to add a scene into an old chap bc a specific plot thread has been bothering me for a while now but ITS SO HARD TO CHANGE SOMETHING THATS ALREADY PUBLISHED WITHOUT ENTIRELY REWRITING. my editing style is quite literally "if sucks, rewrite from scratch" which isnt useful rn. pain and suffering for ten thousand years

[katrinafaire]

Writeblr Intro 😸

So, I put a lot of this into my pinned post, but I'll reiterate it here tagged appropriately to hopefully get some traction to make more writer friends!

Hi! I'm Catrian (she/her) or Cat if you prefer. I've been writing long form since I was a child, so I've logged a modest estimate of a bit over thirty years in consistent storytelling, extensive worldbuilding, and avid character creation. I have so many notebooks full of writing in story form, isolated scenes, misplaced dialogue I thought was neat, etc. While most of it is not up to the bar I've reached these days - lots of it is from when I was a mere kit, after all - I treasure the creativity and growth. Some of it has even been reused in modern works.

A Bit More About Me ➤

As clearly implied above, I'm well into my thirties and consider myself a seasoned writer, though as with all of us there are things I struggle with. I'm a work in progress and that no longer bothers me.

I'm a budding digital artist, which I originally changed to because I sometimes have hand tremors when trying to draw precisely, be it tiny details or a single straight line. (I have large sheets of practicing drawing straight lines.) My tool of choice is currently Krita though I've used other programs for things like photo editing.

I like to play video games and have an eclectic group of them. Right at this moment, I'm playing Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door and am replaying Pokemon Alpha Sapphire. There's also never-ending playthroughs of the Sims (2-4) and Stardew Valley. On the back burner are finishing Tears of the Kingdom and Final Fantasy XV, as well as a replay of Pokemon Sword. There are too many assorted others to mention, but those are the highlights.

I love to read and am putting together a list of science fantasy novels - I'm always up for a good rec - and am reading a fantastic nonfiction book by Lewis Dartnell called The Knowledge: How to Rebuild Civilization in the Aftermath of a Cataclysm. I'll be putting together a promo post later, but suffice to say it's fascinating.

About My Writing & WIPs ➤

I originally got started on fanfiction (I will not be releasing pseuds or details since I don't want to cross the streams) and the dozen or so years I spent there I collectively wrote over one million words across a variety of works, (A few cracked 100K - one spilled over 200K - and they throw the averages off.)

Needless to say, having a long story to tell, even in a series, no longer intimidates me.

Stylistically I favor 3rd person and lately it's been Limited over Omniscient though I do have experience with both. I've also done some 2nd and 1st person while dabbling in interactive fiction so I have a fairly well-rounded experience. My dialogue is very conversational, albeit with individual voices, and I favor lyrical and descriptive phrasing. I take great pride in my skill at evoking emotional responses of all kinds.

Taken from my Pinned Post:

I primarily write science fantasy / soft scifi with low fantasy aspects. This runs the gamut from post-apocalyptic rebuilding, adventures in space, and time travel just to hit the highlights. I’m also rolling around the concept of a couple things that will either be LitRPG or Gamelit depending on how certain details pan out, regarding a somewhat fantasy-esque MMO setting and something else akin to a monster breeder game.

My Work:

I currently have the first book in a collection of related series in progress, which is Luica The Forgotten: Book 1, The Cure, and I talk about it extensively here, and the main trio of characters here. This book and several upcoming are why I'm reading Mr. Dartnell's work (again, but this time For Researcb!), as referenced above. The Cure is set on a post-apocalyptic earth, thousands of years into the future, millennia after the earth suffered significant events altering the environment to where it was deemed unable to sustain human life.

The next book that isn't a part of that series is Rewind. While not currently in the drafting stage, it has some plotting and worldbuilding done. Interestingly, Rewind started out as a premise for a video game with multiple endings but ultimately I decided it would make a better book because it needs description beyond my current graphical ability. In a small writing server I described it as if I was having a librarian help me find it (it's a great exercise, do recommend):

"The one with the amnesiac time traveler who has to follow clues left for them despite not knowing if they're legit because that's all they've got and if they are legit then they have to act or people will die - but then, if they're wrong they'll kill an innocent person instead of saving the world"

My last project that I'm actively worldbuilding on was also originally laid out as the basis for an original roleplaying game I was going to run out of a forum, called Legend's Legacy. In-process I did briefly consider it would make a good MMO (and it might!) but then a friend introduced me to the comment of LitRPG and I was sold. I have to work out the rules / setting / system first, but that's as fun as it is work. (Mildly frustrating though: I'd rather be writing.)

SO, that's a bit about me and what I do. Intrigued? Curious? Interested? Consider popping into my ask and striking up a conversation or hitting me up in my DMs. I'm super friendly to all ages, though I'd like a ballpark of your age since Tumblrites are as young as 13. That's not a problem, but I prefer to know if someone is that much younger than me, especially if we're going to talk about mature topics.

Quick Note: I do not write "mature" content, not as far as sex or graphic violence / gore. I'm squeamish at the sight of blood. I don't handle horror well though I feel elements of it can add a lot to a story.

And I think that's that! if you read it all, give me a like so I know someone's listening, feel free to follow, and absolutely come chat with me! Tell me about YOUR work! I'd love to have more people to interact with and follow.

[lexiasmind]

The Compromise. III

One. Two. 

PAIRING. Dark!CEO!Steve Rogers x Reader.

SUMMARY. Meeting Steven Rogers Sr. made you realized how much this situation has got out of your hands. And you have to put a stop to it before it became bigger than yourself. 

However, is Steve finally ready to admit what you thought he was incapable to feel?  

A/N. Political Relationship/Marriage? AU. Dark AU. This is DARK. ANGST (i’m sorry) Mentions of Political Marriage. Mentions of Relationship/Marriage of Convenience. Swearing. (i’m sorry for the end... but a lot more to come!)

Here it is, the third installment of the compromise series. It’s a bit short but the next one will be longer; I liked it better than the first draft I wrote. Hopefully you will enjoyed it too. As always, thank you very much for reading! Don’t hesitate to leave your thoughts, comments, and feedback.

P.S: Gif is not mine, credits to the owner and maker.

A lots of Love! Lex!xx

WORDS.1500ish.

°°°

Steven Rogers Sr. glanced at you once before turning his icy glare to his son. You were frozen on your spot, surprised by the turn of events while Steve backed away to turn around and sat behind his desk.

" Alright, " The Rogers patriarch deep voice echoed in the room. " Steve let's talk business." He said unbuttoning his jacket before seating on one of the two chairs in front of your boss's desk. " I brought the check. Where is the certificate? " The old man asked him reaching inside his pockets. " We had a minor setback. " Steve motioned the couch against the wall for you to seat on with one glance. In a daze you followed his order, frowning your eyebrows. " But we…" "Are you too focus on developing resources for a poor country to care to do real business, son? " Steven Sr huffed, a hint of annoyance in his voice. "I was too concentrate to make my fiancee come against the door you stepped through before you arrived. " The CEO of one the richest company in the country smirked at his father, resting his back against his chair. His face was full of pure arrogance and delight.

Steven Sr rolled his eyes, his face blanching by his son's comments. You coughed, feeling a burning sensation growing on your face. You quickly took an empty glass of water on the table in front of you, avoiding the piercing gaze of your father's boss. You felt his eyes on you as you poured then gulped the icy water, your sight anywhere but on the two men in front of you.

" I see you chose someone with good looks. " You heard the elder man grunted. " Hopefully she's smart enough for my grandchildren to not born stupid. "

You closed your eyes feeling uncomfortable. He was speaking about you like you weren't in the room. That made you sick. 

" She will do. " Steve murmured his eyes downcast briefly on his desk before rising them to watch his father.

Crossing your legs, you put your hands on your thighs before shyly looked at the older man.

" 50k. " He announced suddenly. Seeing the confusion on your face, he sighed. " Alright, 100k. " He declared setting the blank check on the desk in front of him, his cold blue eyes never leaving your sight. " Dad, it's not like tha- "  " Steven, shut up and let me handle the numbers." His father cut him off. " I know you are difficult to handle and I don't want a divorce to be bind to our family name. " Steven Sr added throwing a dirty glare at his son. "150k." He called out shifting his calculating gaze toward you. " I-I'm sorry. " You stuttered softly frowning your eyes, bewildered. " Let's say, 150k for each year of marriage. And 200k for each kid you pop up."  The grey-haired man concluded, a faint grin appeared on the corner of his lips. He stood up, quickly buttoning his jacket facing Steve. " You know what, I will make sure Sarah sends to your assistant the prenup and an agreement with every money transaction in print. " He nodded decisively, smoothing the fabric of his green tie against his chest. " Sounds good? "

You heard him and knew perfectly that his last words were directed at you but you couldn't look at him or answer, unsure of anything anymore. You felt like the ground was about to open and swallow you all. Was everything real? Or were you sleeping through in a terrible nightmare.

" Can't she reply? " " She's under a lot of pressure. " Steve replied his voice hard, glaring at his father.

You raised your eyes surprised to look at him. Was he protective? He stood up too.

" I will talk to her. " He added watching the check on his desk and reluctantly push his hand forward to shake his father's palm. " Good, I like a woman who knows her place. " Steven Sr smiled faintly, his eyes grew brighter as he gazed longingly at you.

You saw from the corner of your eyes, Steve's clenching his jaw, his eyes burning holes inside his father's head. Steven turned his sight, looked warily at his son's hand before raising his cold eyes.

" Please cut your damn hair, son. You looked like a beggar at the bus station. " He turned on his heels and started to walk out of the room. " The check will be going through as soon as I will have a copy of the marriage certificate in my safe. And, by the way, your mom says " Hi . " The elder man said before walking out of the office, using his sleeve to push the door.

Quiet. Everything was finally quiet. And you could hear your buzzing thoughts again. You heard the faint sounds of the elevator's doors closing and shut your eyes close, leaning your head against the couch's cushion behind you. You didn't have any words to describe what happened. You only felt disgusted by all of it. You were a simple PA dreaming about helping somebody important. Somebody who also helps the world grow by developing new technology, communications, and research. If only you knew what would happen when you started to have sex with your boss. You would have run the other way around when he proposed you this position. You sensed someone hovering above you and opened slowly your eyes to catch Steve's expressionless face. You braced yourself waiting for his harsh words.

" I was telling the truth, earlier." The blond man licked his lips, pushing his hands inside his pants pocket. " I do love you, Y/N. "

Like the first time, he said it to you, confusion froze your mind. But soon, other emotions grew inside you, fierce and big you felt your tiredness, disgust, dismay, anxiety stir together. Yet, angriness made you stood up quickly, your eyes burning. You looked at him, confusion appeared on his face as he slightly raised one eyebrow.

" You know what, " You snarled walking around the small glass table. " Fuck you, Steve. " You cried out all your frustration inside those words. His big blue eyes grew round seeing you losing it for the first time. " Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck! " Making fists with your hands, you started to pound on his chest, hard.

With each hit, your hands collided with the solid wall of his body underneath the smart rich shirt. You couldn't look up at his face, only smacking him, trying to hurt him as much as he hurt you. You were panting and in-between each slapped you expressed your rage shouting : “ Fuck you! “  Except, his chest started to shake under your hammering and as you rose your eyes you saw Steve's smiled watching you fondly, his eyes bright with laughter. Laughing. Steve Rogers was laughing. Seeing him in his state made you paused, breathing loudly. It was unusual for him. Briskly, he took hold of your waist with one arm, walking quickly toward his desk. You yelped with surprise. With one motion and still grinning, Steve pushed aside every document on his desk, making them fall on the ground.

" S-Steve. " You sputtered while he set you down on his desk. " W-What are you doing? " " Now we have time. " He replied groaning under his breath, his hands on your pants. " I want to hear you come on my tongue before going down to the City Hall." Your boss moaned pushing the zipper of your pants down once more. " No, no stop that! " You cried out hitting him on his shoulders making him halt in his movement. He glanced at you, his cheeks pink with shame? Anger? Frustration? " I can't. I can't Steve. Not anymore. " You croaked pushing him on his chest. “ No. “ You finally whispered. 

Your eyes falling on your spread thighs, you realized that his hands were already against the bare skin of your waist. Touching you lightly.  

" I need to go. " You whispered dropping your hands on his arms to push them away from your body.

Surprisingly, Steve didn't resist you backing away from you. You licked your dry lips, avoiding his eyes as you zipped up your pants. Stunned, by his cooperation you crossed your arm on your chest suddenly cold and empty and started to walk toward the door.

" This is the only way I know-how. " Steve called out after you. You were almost at the door, closing your eyes you stopped in your tracks. " Being close to someone I want. Sex is the only thing that makes sense to me. " He added his voice rough before sighing loudly.

You turned your face watching him above your shoulder, he was standing facing away looking through the large glass window behind his desk. His hands in his pockets, you could see his reflection in the glass, torn.

" Stay, Y/N." Your boss murmured. " Don't make me beg. "

°°°

Four. Five.

Tags: @chvntelle-99​ @iloveshawnieboi​ @carrotfantasimp​

[teriwrites]

2021 Writing Wrap-Up

The year has officially ended, so it's time for me to go back through everything I wrote in 2021! My document has been compiled, with some outlines, bits of musing, short stories, novellas, and everything else I was able to jot down over the past twelve months.

I really need to stop underestimating how much writing I get done in a year. As I started putting everything together about a week ago, I was crossing my fingers that I might hit 100K for the year, because 2021 felt a bit slow.

Total for 2021: 148,226!

It's quite a bit less than 2020, where I cracked 200K, but considering I spent months creatively sapped because of a draining job, that's waaaaay more than I was expecting.

My writing was a little more concentrated this year, focusing almost entirely on short stories and novels. While it'd definitely be nice to see me push a little farther out of my comfort zone, 2021 has been a very weird year for me. So allowing myself to write almost entirely within my comfort zone was a way to prevent adding pressure to myself creatively.

And that really showed. I had way fewer incomplete stories this year than most. Nearly everything I started got some sort of ending, which was super encouraging to see. Finishing everything is definitely not a necessity, but it's something I wanted to focus on more in 2021. So it's nice to actually watch my attempts actually paying off!

Okay, and now here's the part where I throw a bunch of quotes from a variety of things I worked on under the thing! I tried to find things I haven't posted before, but I'm not digging through every tag game from 2021 lol

Enjoy!

Some of the highlights from 2021:

“The end is fast approaching! We must prepare ourselves to face it with dignity rather than cowering or turning a blind eye to the truth. For those who remain in doubt, we offer an informational meaning with a period for any questions on Friday nights at Coven Coffee.” Natalie leaned down again. “Is that the cafe on 5th?” I twisted to face her. “You’ve been there?” She nodded. “Once, a couple years ago. The coffee was great, but I never went back because the vibes were slightly off. It felt like the place was run by a cult or something.” I nudged my chin towards the small group, who were now handing out flyers at the door to everyone who passed. “Something like that.” (Flo's Magical Emporium: Solicitors of the Apocalypse)

The Defiance wasn't made up of heroes. It was made up of armed dreamers and idealists that cared more about protecting Zhavos' honor than its people. (Heroes in the Wrong)

Nocke Triga had been doubtful when their latest clients, an Astral Guardian named Caani and her old escort, had asked to dock in the Boreal Prime Pub as they left the Verani system. Now, as Caani was running through her plan, Nocke decided to reconsider their assumption. No, it was no longer doubt but blatant skepticism that ran through their mind at her words. "You want to publicly announce that you're defecting?" they asked, running through the docking protocols instinctively. "Why?" (The Boreal Prime)

There was a part of Avery that logically pointed out that she should get back to her room as soon as possible, that at least resting would be better for her in the morning than sitting up even later. But it was drowned out by Ellie telling the story of the time she’d cut her own bangs in high school, to much less success. Even Morgan was distracted from her new look, laughing along at Ellie’s punishment: having to go to school with a fringe that looked like Winona Ryder in Beetlejuice for a whole week before her parents could schedule a haircut. “And you didn’t think to share this horror story before I started cutting my hair?” Morgan demanded. “I thought you’d never go through with it if you heard about my Lydia Deetz phase.” (Downstairs, 4 Hawthorn Rd: Late Night Shenanigans)

"So, what are we going to do?" Doctor Illusion flicked his gaze over to the man's half-covered face. "You're under the assumption we're, what, working together on this?" The Onyx Gladiator clenched his jaw. "Well, two heads is meant to be better than one, right? Both of our sidekicks are missing..." "I don't keep 'sidekicks'," Doctor Illusion snapped back, but he conceded, "But for the sake of their safety, I suppose the job might be done quicker if we both... collaborate." He wasn't ready to admit to allying with a hero, yet. The Ghost may not have been responsible for kidnapping Rebecca, but she was certain to never let him live down teaming up with the Onyx Gladiator of all people. It couldn't even have been somebody tolerable, like Karma. Someone a little less lawful lame than the man sweating in front of him. (An Unlikely Pair)

"Ms. Bohr," the Crusader said slowly. "To what do we owe the pleasure?" His tone made it clear that it wasn't a pleasure. Nesrin knew, in another life, he'd have gladly turned everyone in the tavern on her. Even in this life, at one time, if she'd been dumb enough to show her face. But that opportunity had passed, so Nesrin lifted her chin - more to demonstrate her pride to her charge than anyone else, who could've looked through it in an instant. If she'd had any pride left, she wouldn't be here. (Stay with Me)

'Your purpose is not to run away every time you're facing something steady,' Meredith argued. 'And what would you know about finding purpose?' Isla snapped back, feeling a heat rising into her face. 'You were built with a duty, and all you've ever known is how to follow it.' Meredith waved a hand down, presenting herself. 'And yet here I am, standing before you.' (Beyond the Grave)

“So, wait a minute.” Avery held up her hands. “You want to what?” “I want to blow it up.” Ellie had already explained her plan once, but she couldn’t resist going over it again. “Under the cover of night, we sneak this bad boy into the yard, cover him in flammable hairspray, and light it up.” It was the perfect plan. The watermelon would finally be disposed of, and, with a little luck, Dr. Hubbard would happen to look out his window and realize how unhinged his noon-hour student/neighbor was. He’d never dare to give her points off for ‘long-windedness’ on a paper again. (Downstairs, 4 Hawthorn Rd: Pyromania and Watermelons)

Imogen Tarver paced through the makeshift command room in agitation, with a scowl discouraging approach. She was alone, for now; the others had scattered with excuses about attending to a variety of other duties, but more likely to escape her sour mood. Now, her only company was the thudding of her cane against the loose floorboards and the barrage of anything and everything that had the potential to go wrong swirling in her mind. (Rebuilding a Nation: Prologue)

Claire didn’t trust the mad-scientist glee that passed over her friend’s face, and she trusted it even less when Ellie leapt to her feet and dashed out of the room. (Downstairs, 4 Hawthorn Rd: Neighborhood Cats)

Winnie stared into the stoic woven eyes of Queen Rhiannon. She hadn’t held the throne forever. There had once been a time before her rule, and what was surely a tumultuous adjustment once she’d taken power. Even the Courts themselves were the fractured remnants of a once blissful unity. How could they be expected to remain fixed in place when their very undercurrent was one of transition? (Beyond Alder Creek)

"The dramatics are hardly necessary, Clairvoyance," Myles retorted. "We both know neither of us is getting thrown off this building." It still felt strange, calling her by her new title. Like they were still just Myles and Mitzi playing pretend, one of their countless games of cops and robbers on the playground. But the Eastside University campus was no playground, and the opposition was no gimmick. A pang of regret struck him for the position they were in. If only - "Cute sentiment, but you're not going to magically reform me," Mitzi - no, Clairvoyance - snapped. Myles bristled. "Could you stop reading my mind for one minute?" Finally, she turned to face him, narrow eyes glinting roguishly. "And give you the upper hand? Not a chance." They'd always been a perfect match. The calm and the storm. The brains and the brawn. Neighbors who grew into classic childhood best friends. Even their initials were identical - Myles Samson and Mitzi Summers. And when they'd discovered their powers, the balance remained. Myles, who could see short glimpses into the future. And Mitzi, who could read minds. It had made a cool party trick as kids. Now, it made their confrontations almost comically impossible. He could predict her every move, and she could read his thoughts to find his. (Second Sight and Clairvoyance)

"Hardly an easy voyage, of course," the Crusader argued, but Nesrin could see amusement tugging at the edges of his mouth. "We are not a passenger ship, and sparing the space - not to mention the rations, the documentation... well, it'll simply have to be factored in." "Of course." Theon nodded tightly. "I appreciate your cooperation." The Crusader blinked, a fraction of a second where Nesrin could read genuine surprise on his face. Words of gratitude were uncommon in his line of work, a distraction in a world where directness was more important than niceties. But Theon wasn't some underfoot subordinate looking to draw attention away from their mistakes, just a 13-year-old genuinely grateful for some aid. Even a man as jaded as the Crusader couldn't miss that. (Stay with Me)

‘Do you miss the illness? Or the sorrow? Or the aches and pains? The heartache is said to be worse in youth, do you remember it? Or is it that all you conjure when you mourn are the thrills – the dreaming and the sunlight? Don’t forget, dreams and nightmares are not so different at the start, and sunlight was never an offering of kindness. It makes no difference to the sun whether it shines and warms or blinds and burns.’ This was exactly what Isla had dreaded about being caught out in the east wind. He was miserably cold and indiscriminately cruel, somehow reading on Isla’s face her very thoughts before Isla had a chance to interpret them herself. (Beyond the Grave)

"If we're going to be working on this for awhile, it'd probably be better for you to don civilian clothes," Doctor Illusion pointed out, nodding at the crowd whose eyes were following them down the street. The Onyx Gladiator recoiled away in disgust. "And reveal my secret identity to you? Clever tactic, but it won't work." Doctor Illusion waved a hand down at his own overcoat. "Right. You knew it was me, without my uniform. Tell me, what's my name?" There was a pause. "That's what I thought. Little good it does to know my face, isn't it? And a lot more convenient than what happens if everyone else starts recognizing me. How do you think the public would react to seeing a superhero and a supervillain working together?" Finally, the moron was seeing some sense. (An Unlikely Pair)

They were silent for awhile, wandering aimlessly through this still-unfamiliar place, a labyrinth of intersecting corridors and chambers that only ever seem to lead deeper into the heart of the palace. The only sound was their footsteps and the rhythmic thumping of her cane, echoing off the high ceilings and reverberating around them, until they were not two people but a dozen snaking their way through the halls. Not a soul disturbed them - no guard, servant, or otherwise, who’d all fled with the death of King Reyes. There was something unnatural about the stillness, the dim lighting bouncing off the stone walls more like a crypt than a castle. There would be plenty of time to discover all the hidden secrets of the palace, in the coming weeks and months and years. One day, Imogen knew that she’d be as in-tune with these halls as she’d been at their base in Bosrey. Something about the thought - one she’d had countless times over the past few days - sent her reeling. Time, the one thing she’d never had enough of, was suddenly stretched out endlessly before her, but Imogen wasn’t entirely sure what she was meant to do with it now. There was work to be done, of course. The death of the King had only ever been the first step towards the Coalition’s shared vision. But the task had always seemed so insurmountable. Who were they, a cobbled-together mess of flashing tempers and indecision, of half-trained troops and unqualified leadership, to take on the Monarchy? Yet they stood here in the palace, and the King was dead. (Rebuilding a Nation: "I don't trust him.")

Claire was sitting in one of the kitchen chairs that they’d dragged outside, lifting her face to the gentle breeze and feeling like she’d never been more content in her life. Her final project for ceramics was over, the internship for a local museum officially hers for the summer, and the trees that lined the street were in full bloom. “Has there ever been a day as perfect as this?” she murmured, closing her eyes. A hand swatted at her shoulder. Morgan chided, “You just said that a week ago, when you spotted your first blue jay of the season.” “It was true then too!” Claire countered, peeking an eye open to glare at her friend. Morgan shook her head, but she was smiling. “Anyways, tell me that again in a week, and I might believe you. This Law and Society exam has been eating away at me for weeks now.” Avery shuddered. “Oh, don’t talk about finals. We promised to give ourselves the afternoon off, and I’m not going to be able to enjoy it if I start thinking about Microbiology.” (Downstairs, 4 Hawthorn Rd: A Spring Afternoon)

Silence. After switching on the power and beginning to plot the coordinates to Mori Pascia, Nocke glanced up. Caani was still troubled. Repressing a sigh, they swiveled the chair to face her. "Look. I'm not the most morally upright person on board right now. Or ever, really. But even I know you're doing the right thing. Aren't the Astral Guard supposed to help those in need? Well, Jaewe is definitely in need, and your boss chose to ignore it. So you stepped up, and now the Jaewe won't have to suffer unheeded." "What if I can't help them?" Caani was staring blankly out into the dark. Nocke stood up to block her view. Her gaze startled and focused on them. "Simple. You will." Then, not sure exactly how they were supposed to comfort Caani, Nocke reached out and patted her shoulder awkwardly. (The Boreal Prime)

When the conversation picked up again, it was like a lazy river, calm and winding without any urgency. There were old stories to tell, jokes to make at each other’s expense, and castles in the sky to build. (Downstairs, 4 Hawthorn Rd: A Spring Afternoon)

The sun had begun its slow descent, washing the forest in gold. Winnie watched the light catch over the ripples of Alder Creek, still trickling almost down to its bed. One last time, Winnie hiked up her skirts to cross and made her way to the opposite bank. She was patting down her dress and fluffing out the layers when a dark shape flew overhead. Glancing up, Winnie saw a raven, sitting fitfully in a branch up ahead. It tilted its head at her curiously when it saw her, before, in a flutter of dark feathers, it took off again. Winnie smiled wistfully, but she no longer felt the urge to cry. With one last, lingering look over her shoulder, she turned away from the old fairy ring and followed the raven back towards home. (Beyond Alder Creek)

[kim-ruzek]

CONGRATULATIONS ON HITTING 100K WORDS PUBLISHED!!!!!

I am so stinking proud of you, because you’re amazing and you’ve written almost 100k burzek words?? That’s an extra 100k that wasn’t in this fandom before. That nobody had read. Of scenarios and storylines and beautiful prose that you did.

I was going to try do a “rank your fics” thing, but then I realised like…I have a top three and then everything else moves around depending on my mood. So I’m telling you my top three.

Number one is, as always, Contentedness. I love this fic so so much. I believe it was the first appearance of Ally (whose now my favourite ever original character and sorry not sorry I’ve stolen her multiple times but HOW COULD I NOT???). This fic just…its the epitome of soft burzek for me. Of burzek loving each other and working through their issues and deciding that their love is worth continuing on with. Is worth going through the hardships. It’s worth it all. Plus the teasing Antonio and him not realising Ally is Adam’s daughter! And that beautiful moment of Kim remembering that she had to tell Voight she and Adam were sleeping together (I can never forget it that line is EMBOSSED INTO MY SOUL). And “I’m talking about my granddaughter, not her father.” From Trudy. This was the moment honorary Grandmother!Trudy was born and she will never leave my soul. Ever.

Two and three I keep tossing up which goes first, and honestly if I wrote this tomorrow I’d probably have a different two and three. But number two right now is family we chose. I just…it’s everything. The nails. The love confession. MAKAYLA AND THE BADGE AROUND HER NECK. All of it. The gentle way they talk to her and explain about Kim. Not glossing over that everything is Not Ok between Kevin and Adam (not that you ever would), and the moment Kim just holds onto her family because she’s survived and they’re there and she loves them so damn much and they love her. It’s…I cry every time. Every. Single. Time.

Three is something’s gone terribly wrong. I remember the day you came up with it, and I just went back through our messages and found the one where I worked out (from no clues) what the twist would be and why Adam was missing. We knew the braincell was a thing anyway, but I think that just cemented our knowledge of its genius. But this fic…this stupid, amazing, awe inspiring fic. I love it so much. Like so incredibly much. (AND HOW IS IT TWO MONTHS OLD ALREADY????) It’s just…it has everything. Suspense, Al’s POV (that you write so well), that moment where Kim has to tell Al that they had sex that morning and oh god I could feel the cringe and embarrassment through the page. Bob being an ass. Voight being protective, AL being protective. Antonio listening to Kim and realising she’s right and getting the information out of Bob. Roman bashing. Kim standing up for herself and telling Trudy she can’t work with him anymore. AND THEN SHE GETS OFFERED INTELLIGENCE AND SHE DESERVES IT. That moment is so gorgeous. And Al turning up at the end and telling Adam he’d have kept the secret? Inviting them for dinner? Ugh it’s EVERYTHING. ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING.

Like…this was so hard and I was going through your fic list and every single one I was like “I LOVE IT” and I could have written lines about every single one. But I think you’d have killed me. But, y’know, duty. Love you, and I can’t wait for the next hundred thousand published words. Folks, you have no idea what Ree’s gonna hit us with.

Not me SOBBING MY HEART OUT AT THIS AGAIN 😭😭😭 I'm questioning if I'll be able to answer this, with how much it reduces me to (happy, ofc) tears each and every time I read over it.

Your pride in me over hitting 100k posted means so so much to me. You're literally my number one cheerleader and as I've said to you so many times, I never would've even gotten close to this amount if it wasn't for you!!! I love you so much and thank you for supporting and encouraging all my most ridiculous ideas.

Now for y'all-- I could've guessed what Cíara's top three of my fics are bc they never hesitate to rave about them and just...so many days they'll be like "oh I reread [this] again and I love it" and I'll cry bc that's the best thing you can tell me.

To respond to your lovely, lovely words now: Cíara, I will be forever overjoyed and amazed how much you love contentedness. You know how I feel about it, that there's that disconnect to it, even though it has some of my favourite lines in it. And my fics are my children, and I feel bad that I can't love that fic as much as I'd like, but I don't feel as bad knowing it gets so much love from you.

And yes!!!! That is the first appearance of Ally!! And I'm going to take this time to express just how much I LOVE THAT YOU LOVE ALLY!! Like the fact that she's your favourite oc and the fact that you've literally stolen her so many times,,,,, it makes me so happy. Like so overwhelmingly happy bc I love her and ugh. Just-- all the feels. Thank you for loving what my brain comes up with and making me not feel so weird for making who Burzek's baby would be.

And I just love love love that you love Kim remembering telling Voight and all that awkwardness. It's one of my first and favourite thoughts I ever made for Burzek and I can't wait until I finally write the scene, not only because that'll mean I'm writing my s7 fix it but so you can have another scene of that to love like you love that line.

I love honorary grandmother!Trudy (or, how she says it in second chances, just grandmother Trudy, their her grandkids blood or not) and I'm so happy you do too.

Family we chose is, I think, one of my favourite fics I've ever wrote. I love all my fics but this one... I love it so much. It was born out of just one (1) photo of Paddy with painted nails and us two screaming about it together and I just... I love it. And I love LOVE that you do too, and all the moments you love about it-- like the badge scene. It's just,,,, it's overwhelming to think about how much I love this fic and that you love it just as much bc that's just incredible and I never thought anyone could love my writing as much as you do.

HOW IS SOMETHING'S GONE TERRIBLY WRONG ALREADY TWO MONTHS OLD????? It feels like only like,,, two weeks ago I was writing it. It never fails to make me laugh and be so in awe that this came out of me being tipsy and then telling you my stupid tipsy ideas. It is my longest, most cohesive fic with some of my all-time favourite scenes and it was made just because I drunkenly laughed at the thought of Kim having to tell Al that she was dating Adam-- and, ofc, the sex moment.

And all the scenes you mentioned... I love it so much and I'm so happy and will never stop being so happy that you love it too. And I'll forever associate it with the moment that we got confirmation, beyond reasonable doubt, that we share a Braincell. The way you just guessed the Bob bits... It's so incredible and I'm so happy we share a braincell.

This ask made me so emotional and teary and I just-- I love you so so much. You are such an incredible person and I'm so happy that I know you. And look-- you made me talk about loving my writing, you made me celebrate!!!! I love that you always, so fiercely and caringly, encourage me to love what I've created, to never be ashamed and put down the ridiculous ideas I come up with, that you tell me that my ideas are self indulgent but that's exactly why I should write them.

And finally, I love how excited you are for all the ideas to come. FILB and FSK and undercover Adam and the Angst monster fic, and Sean Roman is abusive, and Bloodtypes and skater!au and after highschool!au and my many WS!As and all the others that doesn't yet have names.

I love how I come to you with silly ideas, sometimes just so vague-- like with co parents Burzek-- and you just help me grow and nurture them. Without judgement, and with such enthusiasm, even when it comes from my ridiculous tipsy mind.

I never could've gotten here without you, and I won't get to 200k without you, and I'm so happy that you're cheerleading me and just being my friend. I love you so, so much and thank you so much for this and being in my corner, for being the other half of my brain, my writing buddy.

[dannyphannypack]

Crossover Fic Recs

Hey, saw your post for some fic recs! Unfortunately I can't continue the wonderful thread of reblogs because I wish to remain anonymous, but here have some cool crossovers that I didn't see get rec'd yet :D (you can either post this or add it to the reblogs, I don't mind either way)

Just Another Meteor Freak [500k words, complete] (and it's sequel, which is unfortunately incomplete) is a Smallville/DP crossover that's absolutely a fantastic read and I cannot recommend it enough, it's one of my faves! Brief synopsis: Danny goes to live with his aunt Martha Kent after his family dies (and for once Danny's family dying in a crossover fic doesn't have anything to do with TUE!), and misunderstandings of the good kind and mishaps ensue because of course Danny and Clark's hero complexes come into play. It's got hurt/comfort, fluff, angst, sibling-esque-bonding, and all sorts of cool stuff, including ghost king headcannons and new powers for Danny. It takes place mostly from a Smallville perspective, but Danny's woven in so seamlessly that you won't believe he wasn't in the original show to begin with. I read it for the first time after having not watched Smallville in years and I could still understand it though, so I think that if you haven't watched Smallville before you could still enjoy the fic a lot!

And like, honestly, I totally recommend other stuff by this author (jadedbluerose) too. She's got a Merlin/DP crossover that's pretty fantastic, but unfortunately she hasn't updated anything since 2014 :( still worth the read though!!

Spirited Away [70k, complete] is a Harry Potter/DP crossover, it's honestly THE MOST hilarious fic I've ever read. Synopsis: Danny is an unwilling student at Hogwarts, and the most chaotic Hufflepuff the world has ever seen. He claims he's been kidnapped but when no one listens to him, he raises all kinds of hell to try and get kicked out. And if that doesn't work, well, he can always sue them. 100% worth the read, it will definitely make you laugh.

Various Superphantom (Supernatural/DP) crossovers by sapphireswimming. Literally anything Superphantom found here? Totally the best. You can also check out Superphantom fics by surelysilly (whose fics are more on the darker end of the spectrum, and their prose style is kinda abstract rather than your traditional linear narrative) Vitaliciouscreations (they've got a oneshot collection that's pretty fun, as well as a oneshot that I wish they'd continue and a complete cute 13k-word penpal fic.)

How to befriend a ghost [80k, incomplete] is a HTTYD/DP crossover in which Danny gets stuck in the Viking era, and I originally started reading this for the Danny & Hiccup friendship because it's adorable and both of them see how similar they are to each other and find kinship in that. The dragon Danny gets (because this is a HTTYD crossover, this is inevitable!) really sneaks into your heart though, and I ABSOLUTELY adore Sparky as much as I adore Toothless. He's very lovable and complements Danny super well! Of course, it's not all friendship bonding and training dragons, the archipelago is Danny's home now (until he can find his way back to Amity Park/his own century) and he's going to protect it too when trouble arises, just like the dragons do. He even gets new powers along the way. This fic is pretty fun, there's a lot of switching perspectives and you really see the characters' voices come through in it, and you even get to see the dragons' POV, which is really interesting since you get to learn Sparky's backstory!

Den Mother [8k, ongoing] is a Young Justice/DP crossover that acknowledges the fact that Danny is by all rights a first-generation hero, and he's treated with the respect as such and gets to join the Justice League rather than the YJ team. Of course, he doesn't WANT to join the league at first, which is a different take than you'd expect, but he reluctantly agrees and is then given the same responsibilities as a Justice League member--that is, to teach the YJ something about teamwork or whatever. It's not very long right now, but the premise is so good! It has a lot of potential.

A Foreign Perspective [200k words, complete] is a DNAngel/DP crossover that I saw @scrollingdown call a fandom classic once and honestly agree, even though I don't think many people know/have read it. It's a cute friendship fic that focuses on Phantom (not Danny, but Phantom specifically) making his first friend, an older boy named Daisuke, who seems normal at first, but is slowly revealed to be a little more understanding of Danny's situation than he appears. Some comfort involved too since Danny deals with a little more with the idea of mourning/loss than in canon, seeing as Daisuke thinks he's a full ghost and therefore a teenager that died, and Danny learns to be a different kind of hero because of it. Really cool fic too since you don't need to know DNAngel at all to understand the fic, since it's told from DP's perspective, and you get to learn about Daisuke as Danny does. It's just super sweet and it's got some action here and there that makes it exciting, and it's really a fun read.

Other stuff by this author is worth the read too! They've got oneshots of a HP crossover and Ghost Whisperer crossover, and a sadly incomplete HTTYD crossover [100k words] that is still super super good and also deals with ideas about mourning and loss. Their non-crossover stuff is also pretty interesting (there's a Mute!Danny AU and Dash kinda-redemption oneshot I really liked).

Diversity [150k, ongoing] is another Ghost Whisperer/DP crossover, it's a found-family fic where Danny runs away from home after his family dies in the events post TUE. He ends up running into Melinda and she goes out of her way to help him. There's a couple underlying mysteries surrounding the ghosts that haunt this fic, and Melinda tries to understand Danny's past and ends up tangled in a conspiracy because Danny's hiding his ghostly alter-ego and also the GIW are involved at some point (and they are much more menacing here than in canon). It's totally a page-turner, and you can get as invested as Melinda in hoping Danny heals from his loss. Spellbound [150k, ongoing] is a HP/DP crossover by the same author! Danny accidentally gets trapped by Magical Britain and is bitter about it, but he's trying to make the best of it. The Wizards have no idea what to make of him, but he just wants to go home, and he makes a couple friends while he plots his escape. (It's actually been a while since I read that one, so I'm a bit fuzzy on the details, but I do remember feeling bad for Danny in this fic, poor boy's lonely and can't even interact with kids his own age because he's an unknown creature to the wizards. Good thing Danny's never been one to follow authority.)

A Visit to Paris [10k, complete] is a Miraculous Ladybug/DP crossover in which Danny is Akumatized... sort of. The results are hilarious: Danny's a troll, Hawkmoth is frustrated, the heroes aren't really sure what to make of it, and Danny and Adrien make a lot of puns. Oh, and Danny is the only one smart enough to fix Paris' villain problem (okay, so it might be slightly cracky). It reminds me very much of Spirited Away, which I mentioned earlier. It's got the same level of chaos that's for sure. All in all, it's a very, very fun read.

A Different Sort of House Call [50k, incomplete] is a House MD/DP crossover, it's been years since I read it but I've always considered it one of the fandom classics too? It was definitely one of the first things to pop to mind when I was trying to recall all the cool memorable crossovers to rec you, so this goes on the list too. It's Danny at the hospital with House, and the doctors are trying to diagnose him without knowing about his ghost half (and Danny's not exactly willing to tell them either). There's angst (especially since the author wrote this to follow Lab Rat by AnneriaWings), Vlad trying to be an ally (sorta?), and House being clever as usual. Sadly it's incomplete but it's still super good!!

Running Blind [20k, complete] is a CSI/DP crossover (it took me forever to find the link again since it wasn't listed as a crossover). It's super good, Danny runs away for reasons unknown (at the beginning of course) and gets caught up in a murder investigation and he suspects the culprit is supernatural so obviously he helps out. The CSI guys are both trying to protect him (thinking he was a target for the murderer) but also trying to uncover his past and the reasons he ran away. When you find out why he ran away, you might be awed like I was (especially when you realize how long it had been since he ran) or you might be unimpressed, but the aftermath and his family/friends finally catching up to him might make up for that. I kinda liked how Vlad was written here too.

Ghost Crimes and its sequels is a Criminal Minds/DP crossover. It's the first in a very long series (currently 500k+ words in total) that expands on the DP world and lore, and also involves a lot more murder, death, blood (and the other related gore-ish stuff), and overall realism. Like, Danny fights what is basically Jack the Ripper and its terrifying. It's kind of like a "dark and gritty" DP (but like, not unbearably or overwhelmingly dark and gritty), angst sprinkled here and there, along with darker themes and less light-hearted issues (mental health/trauma/depression/etc. and neglect/abuse and like, actual competent adults like social workers and stuff are a real thing in this fic). There's a lot going on but it's got its lighter nice moments too (Dani is there and gets to be a part of Danny's family, Val's in on the secret, among other things). Also some of the chapters are illustrated, it's great. Definitely check it out!

Okay that's a lot of fics so I'm gonna stop now. Have fun reading!!

[noctisfishing]

2020 Wrap-Up and 2021 Wishes

I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to do this or not, but I decided, why not? Even though this year was pretty wild for everyone in various ways, I want to celebrate my writing progress and accomplishments, and share with you what I wish for in 2021.

I’ve already posted a similar post on Reddit, although this one has a more detailed breakdown and includes my fic titles! I won’t link any of the fics mentioned, but you can visit my FFN or AO3 pages to find them. You can also click through my Welcome Post or find them all listed here (if you’re on desktop) (*every project I talk about can be found somewhere on my Tumblr :D)

Click below for some nice Fic Stats!! (mostly wordcounts and rambling!!)

Preview: I wrote a good amount of words, got some nice progress on some long fics, churned out dozens of ficlets!! Plus: What’s on my fic mind for 2021, and a short bit about other personal wins.

Before I ramble with numbers, I think we can all agree that we should say goodbye to 2020 this way:

Now, the numbers you’ll see are close approximations to how much I’ve written this year. I’m including works that I’ve published on AO3, FFN, Tumblr, and Reddit, and also works unpublished (and will post probably next year).

So, here it is:

Total Wordcount: 107,662 words!

Dang, I wrote a lot more than I thought. I think there was one year that I wrote 200,000 in a year and I’ve always set that number as my standard. But I’m still pretty happy with this year’s number! I think I’ll make 100K my “soft goal” for 2021 given how topsy-turvy life can go but it would be awesome to hit 200K again :)

And now, we break it down:

Completed Works (54,432 words)

2 Multi-Chaptered Fics (10,353 words) 

Both happen to be Sorato! I posted the last chapter of The Sound of His Goodbye back in March (I started the fic late 2019), and I posted all of The Last One Wins towards the end of November. Both gave me reminders earlier and later on in the year that I can complete fics, haha! It’s possible!!! \o/

38 Ficlets/Scenes (19,667 words) 

“Ficlets” don’t typically have a wordcount but are generally less than 1,000 words. I’d have to say that the impact of quitting my job, moving back home, and the pandemic brought on major changes and responsibilities that I had to adapt to. Simpler, smaller scale ideas were easier on my basket case of a mind and kept me writing, and that is most likely why for most of the year my inspiration was more drawn toward different little scenes. I got to write for and explore six new fandoms outside of Digimon which is cool!

When I say “scenes,” I mean those that either didn’t fit in the (slightly) larger works I’ve published, or those for future projects (which technically shouldn’t be counted as “complete” but I had to stick them somewhere :P).

9 One-Shots (24,412 words)

Day 6 Prompt of Takari Week just barely made it to be counted as a One-Shot, but the rest in this category are all Taiora: six for Taiora Week, as well as The Princess and the Dragon, and Colors in Distance. The Color Shot was actually sitting unfinished in my drafts for a few months so I’m glad I found the motivation to finish it before the year’s end. The other fics were inspired by prompts with deadlines - this was the first year I’ve participated and completed those and I’m happy I did them! 

Works in Progress (53,230 words)

I’ve posted one new chapter each for Digital Recovery (4,770 words) and  Tsukiakari (2,292 words) and I had the hope of working more on both of these this year! But you know, this year was tough (see also why I threw so many ficlets at my readers). I had three huge ongoing longfics and I made the decision to set these aside and put my main focus on one of those so as not to overwhelm myself. These fics are mostly planned out. They just need to be written more! We’ve got a long way to go with both of these.

Just One Drink (10,131 words) was.. probably my most popular fic this year, lol. I don’t see this one being too long (I would be surprised if it goes past 50K) but I see myself continue to update this next year. ;) 

And let’s talk about The Spark of Dawn (DoreDore Adventure Part II) (24,316 words). This was my chosen longfic to focus on this year, as evidenced by the wordcount, and even the number of chapters I’ve posted - three with 10,659 words total. This fic also carried me through July’s Camp NaNoWriMo where I reached my word count goal of 12,000 words. I think two chapters from that event ended up being posted, and there are still 13,657 words’ worth of content yet to be published. Overall, I think half of this story has been written out (including the content I haven’t posted yet) but that being said, this fic remains as one of my priorities to finish before moving along to my other WIPs!

Here’s a list of the rest of my unpublished works:

Untitled Taiorato Fic (1,433 words)

More Taiora Snapshots (2,454 words)

The Girl Who Stands Out (7,834 words) - This one is a Mimato, and should show up really soon. ;)

2021 Wishes: My main wish is for me to *keep writing*!

I’m already making some pretty elaborate spreadsheets for myself to help track my personal writing and reader stats. Hopefully they help motivate me in my writing progress in 2021! 

Toward the end of the year, I felt the need to “clear out” my plot bunnies folder and realized that fics from few ideas weren’t going to be as long as I initially thought. That’s where The Last One Wins came from, as well as The Girl Who Stands Out. I think once the latter is all written out, I will work more on DoreDore and see where it goes.

I want to tackle my “Write Your Melody” prompts, because since I’ve written them I feel obligated to. XD I’m sure there will be room for more ficlets and one-shots in next year’s endeavors; while it’s ideal to work on one big longfic until it’s done, I know for a fact that I’ll need writing breaks along the way.

Other Personal Wins (Not Writing-Related): This year, left a job and living situation that took a toll on my mental health. I also started to learn R and SQL programming languages. I was asked to be a moderator of one of my favorite communities! I made new friendships and a few of my friendships grew. And I found joy and comfort in things I hadn’t been able to in years’ past. I had a fair share of rough moments this year, but looking back at my small wins gave me reminders of the good I have. <3 

If you made it to the end of this post, GO YOU. I’m optimistic that next year will bring more good things. I hope to continue remembering to take time to breathe and rest, and keep talking to my friends and loved ones. Many of my wishes are for long-term goals/projects in general, but rather than setting year-end deadlines, I want to focus on just working on them, my efforts varying between chipping away at them little by little, or hardcore-drop-everything-and-spend-the-weekend.

Anyway, thank you for reading! I wish you all the best as we head toward a new year. <3

[maia]

A Complete History of My Salary & Wages

A few months ago, I listened to a podcast interview of Ashley C Ford where she laid out the details on how much money she makes, and from which sources. I’ve thought about it a couple times since then and found it very grounding and reassuring whenever I did, even though I am not on the same career path as Ford, and I had never heard of her before the interview. (I have since started following her on twitter though and highly recommend it).

If you follow me on twitter, you know I am brutally honest on all kind of intimate topics. It’s because I believe in the strength behind transparency and the impact it can create. Transparency is particularly powerful with salaries and compensation, and that is why we had transparent salaries at Pinch. Well, that’s my motivational vibe.

So I am posting my complete salary history here in the hopes that it is interesting or helpful to other people.

2007: ~$25,000 in wages

Spock hired me as a summer marketing intern: $2,500/month salary (with potential for a $1,500 bonus at end of summer).

I was 18 when I started at Spock and had my 19th birthday there. I adored working for Spock — it taught me that being excited about the internet could be a career. And my boss Jay was the first person who really believed in me, and was willing to give me enough rope to hang myself. He told me not to tell people I was 18 because they would underestimate me, that I should tell them I was 27. I told most people I was 27 until I actually was. At the end of the summer I decided to take time off from college and continue working for Spock. They brought me on full-time, at a $75k salary.

I had spent the summer living in Redwood City (where Spock’s office is) and renting a room for $800. After the summer I moved to San Francisco and sublet at different places, paying between $600 for a room and $1000 for a studio apartment.

2008: $28,307 in wages

Most of my friends left Spock, so it seemed like the right thing to do. I emailed SeeqPod because I thought they had the coolest product in all of tech at the time — a web app that streamed music from the internet on the iPhone! (this was before there were 3rd party apps on the iPhone). I told them I was really excited about what they were building and would love to contribute however possible and would come on as an unpaid intern. They interviewed me and I did a take-home project: writing a Product Requirements Document for a Hi5 App (Hi5 was the third largest social network after Myspace and Facebook at the time). SeeqPod hired me as a product manager, I think with a $60k salary. My boss Mike was the second person (in an infinite stream) to believe in me and take a big chance on me.

I didn’t have an iPhone, just a flip phone, but I was so excited about the idea of posting photos on the internet from a mobile phone that I set up a tumblr called https://www.maiaeats.com/ that would post new entries every time I texted it a photo or text. I recorded everything I ate in this way.

I went back to college for my sophomore year in the fall. When I left, the CEO of SeeqPod said “Maia, you are the most diplomatic person I’ve ever had work for me. I watch you in meetings help people take their foot out of their mouths and start espousing your idea as if it was their own”. SeeqPod said they would keep my equity vesting over the school year, and we planned for me to transfer to Berkeley the next year as a college junior, to keep working for them. SeeqPod got sued out of existence though, so I stayed on at Olin.

2009: ~$10k in wages

In summer 2009, one of my former colleagues had been impressed with my work at Spock and wanted me to run marketing at his startup, Archivd. I did, but unfortunately his company went under about a month after I started when his cofounder couldn’t get a work visa.

For the rest of the summer, I picked up a half-time job running social media at a startup called NationalBLS in San Francisco. I got another half-time job doing front-end web development for Sprowtt, in Palo Alto (like Kickstarter + AngelList). I lived in a basement in Oakland and had a terrible commute.

That fall, I lived in Cambridge and got a part-time internship at HubSpot while in college. It was magical to live in Cambridge and work for HubSpot… the best time I had during college. I think they offered me $14/hour and I surprised them by negotiating to $15/hour.

2010: $1,800 in wages

I worked full-time for Hubspot ($15/hour) for the month of January before I went to study abroad in Copenhagen for Spring semester. I stayed in Europe that summer and did not work the rest of the year.

2011: $0 in wages

I graduated college in May 2011, sort of… having spent the spring busy trying to convalesce from a horrible car accident in January 2011, I was behind on my school work and so I walked on stage at the ceremony in May but technically hadn’t graduated yet. My generous professors let me make up the work in summer/fall, and I got my diploma at the end of the Fall 2011 semester.

I sold stock I had bought during college with my income from my year off to pay for my life this year.

2012: $61,988 in wages

Desperate for a job, my friend Richa helped me find a role at the consultancy she worked for in January 2012, where I wrote XSL-T (it’s like CSS, for XML documents). I made $60k salary (less than I had made when I was 19), but I was grateful for the opportunity (and for the health insurance!). They originally offered me $55k, and I negotiated up a smidge.

At the end of the summer, I met Meg who was starting a new company, Rocksbox. She hired me as her first employee, a UX designer. I think Meg asked me “What do people like you make?” and I said “Something like $75k,” and she said “Ok, that seems fine.” My salary was $72k.

2013: $22,416 in wages

Meg invited me to join on as cofounder & CTO of Rocksbox. As a cofounder, I took no salary for much of the year.

I lived in a two bedroom apartment with several other people — my friend Katie and I technically shared a bedroom together with one queen bed and both spent most nights at our respective boyfriend’s apartments. The household hosted people from Airbnb in our dining room and I made an additional $5k on top of my $22k salary to put towards my rent.

I remember being exhausted, flipping Airbnb rooms. My boyfriend asked “This seems really terrible, why do you do it?” I said “…. for the money, obviously.” He said “Oh but you don’t need the money,” and I sat there quietly, thinking, what does it mean for one to need the money?

2014: $66,323 in wages

Meg raised $1.5M for Rocksbox, and I was able to take a higher salary — I think back to $72k!

We still hosted Airbnbs in our dining room from which I made an extra $3,300.

My lawsuit against the guy who hit me with his truck settled for $100k. My lawyer took 1/3 and transferred me $66,000: the most humiliating, exhausting, painful, least worth it money I have ever “earned” in my entire life.

2015: $84,725 in wages

I was making more from Rocksbox — my salary increased from ~$72k at the beginning of 2015 to about ~$150k towards the end of the year.

My roommates and I moved to a big fancy house with a separate bedroom where we could host people on Airbnb. Technically my rent was $2,400/month but with the Airbnb it usually netted out to $1,400. I made $2,400 from Airbnb this year.

2016: $67,769 in wages

I left Rocksbox (and my $150k annual salary) to start Pinch, where we paid ourselves $50k. Rocksbox bought back my unvested equity for $780.

This year, with the separate bedroom on Airbnb, I made another $9,220. In September my roommate and I moved to a different apartment and stopped hosting on Airbnb. My rent was $1,500.

2017: $58,686 in wages

Towards the end of 2017, our $50k salary at Pinch was really starting to hurt. We raised a bit more and upped our salaries to $100k. The money from my car accident dwindled. I moved to my own apartment for the first time, and my rent was $2,000/month.

2018: $121,277 in wages

In summer 2018, we sold Pinch to Chime. My job offer at Chime was for $175k.

Some of our offers for Pinch came with a signing bonus. I wanted to evaluate offers based on the people and the culture, so I told myself I would act as though I had received a signing bonus even if I technically hadn’t. When we joined Chime (no signing bonus), I bought myself a scooter online. It never arrived, and I eventually did a chargeback on my credit card.

2019: $195,834 in wages

My salary at Chime was increased to $200k early in 2019 as a market adjustment, where it remains today. In October 2019 I moved out of my $2,000/month apartment to couch-surf with plans to eventually move to New York.

Conclusion

I was really excited about the idea of writing this post and bringing transparency. The process of writing it out and reliving it all though… it feels bad. I think of myself as a happy person, but when I read this now, I feel for my younger self. I worked and scrambled and stressed out about everything.

I’ve tweeted before that my biggest regret of my 20’s is that I didn’t spend more money. It wasn’t received well by the financial responsibility crowd on twitter, but my guess is that they’ve had a different (and more stable) career history than I have. I do regret that I saved any money in my 20's — I should have spent it all, spent freely on frivolous creature comforts, used money to make my life easier whenever possible and worried less about the future. But of course, hindsight is 20/20.

[bigskydreaming]

@princeescaluswords tagged me in a fanfic ask meme, and I’m loling at how few of the questions I can actually answer, because I swear I’ve literally forgotten more fandoms than most people will ever have. And I’ve probably written a good couple million words of fanfic all in total....

I know with just my first fandom alone, Roswell, I was in that one writing regularly for about three years and wrote and published probably a million words between the six or so ‘big fics’ I wrote......21 Down topped out at just over 200K, my Paradise Lost trilogy was probably a little longer as I think Genesis and Exodus were both around 80K and Revelations was probably closer to 100K. Riders of the Storm was around 120K.....Passage to Dawn I never actually finished because I scrapped it halfway through and started over.....and my revised version left off at around 50K I think, but the previous version before that had gotten up to 100K......and then I honestly can’t remember the names of my other two big fics at the moment, lmfao, I just know I had one more that was an amnesia trope fic and one that was....oh! Never mind, just remembered. The Long Dark Night of the Soul was one of my shorter ones, probably somewhere between 60-80K.

But yeah, that was just my first fandom alone......but fandom was a little different then, like in the sense that nobody was really writing posts about meta or episode or character analysis......Roswell fandom existed almost entirely on various messageboards and linked sites created by the community. It was years before Ao3 of course, and while ff.net was around, Roswell was one of those fandoms that just never congregated around it......people posting Roswell fics on ff.net were the outliers, the majority of fandom was centered around sites like roswellfanatics.net, crashdown.com and my personal site/board of choice to hang out and post at, polarattraction.com. I’m pretty sure all of those sites have been defunct for years, and I wish I’d done a better job of saving some of my own fics at least, lol. But point is, the fandom was geared just towards the writing and consumption of fanfic more than anything else......so if you were writing something, it was either a fic itself, or a comment on somebody else’s fic, lol. 

Anyway, was just reviewing my various past fandoms, the ones I could remember, and thought of Dark Angel fandom, which I haven’t thought of in forever. Which is kinda funny to me, actually, considering my focus in DA fandom was pretty much exactly my focus in Batfandom - the found family feels.

LOL. Like, I was never one of the better known writers in DA fandom given that my focus was not really the same as most of fandom’s. DA fandom was largely split into two camps locked in eternal ship war - Logan/Max and Alec/Max. I had by this time ‘evolved’ to the point of looking at this and just snobbishly intoning “I do not care for the Straightness of this all and thus I choose to Abstain from the conflict” so there was that at least.....but yeah, thing was, personally, I was in Dark Angel fandom for the found family feels. Max’s eternal search for her siblings she’d been raised with but lost track of when they escaped from Manticore as children.....like that was the good stuff, that was what drew me in and kept me under lock and key until I’d banged out a good couple years’ worth of constant fic writing about her and her siblings before I moved on.

But while Max’s search for her siblings was the catalyst and central plot of the first season of Dark Angel, fandom pretty much only ever took off with the introduction of Alec in the second season, when it became an either/or choice between Alec and Logan. And with most of the second season moving away from Max’s search for her family to focus more on the larger big-picture plots, combined with the fact that most of Max’s siblings never actually made an appearance onscreen.....understandably, they didn’t end up occupying too much of a role in most of fandoms’ fics or interests.

Anyway, like I said, I churned out a shit ton of DA fanfic in a pretty short period of time....my single most popular fic was probably one about transgenics racing to find a cure when they realize they’d been genetically engineered to all ‘expire’ by a certain age, since their creators had no use for genetically engineered super-soldiers past the prime of their lives.

But my personal fave bits of writing, and the series I reeeeeeally regret not saving and wish I could find again, like, there was this one series of one-shots (ranging from a couple thousand words long to some that were about 20-30K long) written about each of Max’s siblings.....all fifteen of them, lol. Jondy’s was the first one I wrote, and one of the first things I wrote in that fandom, and then I just added new stories to that particular series up until Jack’s, the very last one a couple years later....which I THINK was the last thing I ever wrote/posted in that fandom.

And since we only ever met about half of these characters on the show, and most of them only for an episode each, for the most part they were blank slates and the equivalent of writing OCs......and so I’ll always have a soft spot for my time in DA fandom solely because of how many people told me my version of Max’s various siblings was like, the definitive version for them and what they based their own fics or takes on her siblings on. Swoon. Like, that’s my favorite kind of compliment, especially in fanfic writing.

So that series was my Big Thing even if it wasn’t my most popular or well-known fic, and the various stories in it were weird and whimsical and largely experimental. Because part of the point of fic writing for me instead of writing original fic is its like....fanfic is often the place where I just get weird with my writing and try new things even just stylistically. See what works and what doesn’t, etc.

Anyway, kinda curious if there’s anyone out there who was in Dark Angel fandom at all to any degree, or if any of these sound familiar or if anyone remembers reading them.

Like, so Jondy was Max’s sister who we never met in canon but Max talked about often as being her favorite sibling, and her story in this series was called “Little Lightning Girl.” In it she was a stripper slash vigilante, who used her job to take note of predatory guys who then she preemptively scared away from her coworkers or ran totally out of town. I forget how it went exactly, but that one was written as though it was all her stream of consciousness, and she had to my mind a kind of chaotic, whimsical sort of nature, so there was something in there like: 

“Call me little lightning girl, for I’ve lightning in my veins. My hair is always frizzy, my steps all flicker-shimmy-shake. But when I strike, boom, clap, I’m thunder in reverse - by the time you hear the rumble, its already too late. That was you hitting the ground. Don’t hurry getting up. I can wait.”

And then Zane’s story was called “Zen and the Art of Not Breaking Your Customer’s Fucking Face (remember, its bad for business).”

Brin’s was “I Wasn’t Born Yesterday (but yesterday, I remember being very small).”

Zack’s was “Rules For When The Sky Is Falling (and this time it isn’t your fault).”

Syl’s was “The Kind of Girl You Bring Home to Meet Your Parents (when you’ve got the kind of parents that need killing).”

Ben’s was “They keep telling me I’m crazy (I say its the world that’s gone mad).”

Tinga’s was “A Storybook Kind of Princess (with a Grimm kind of happily ever after)” and Krit’s was “The Good Die Young, So Boy, You Better Be Bad.”

Kavi’s was “I Never Learned How To Play Ball (striking out comes naturally).”

Vada’s was “Chase Me To The Desert and Watch Me Live, I Bet I’ll Thrive (you better believe I was born to survive).”

And then Seth’s was “All Her Brothers’ Keeper (you keep your secrets and I’ll keep the watch).”

And though technically not escapees with the rest of them, I am anal and a completionist, so of course I had to write ones for Eva, Jack and Jace too. 

Eva’s was “Big Sisters Know Best (so when I say I’ll die for you, just say thank you and live).” 

Jace’s was “Leopards Never Change Their Spots (but why worry about my 5% leopard when I’m 10% shark). 

And Jack’s was “Shelter The Innocent (but don’t look at the boy without shelter and say that boy, he’s no good).”

Anyway, been randomly thinking about those today now. Well, not randomly since I can follow the train of thought that led me to thinking about them, but you know what I mean. Its just kinda funny to me that I do remember those particular stories so well when there’s entire other fandoms I can barely remember writing in at all. And DA fandom wasn’t even one I was in all that long, ever knew too many other people in, or like....idk. I definitely, definitely have written much more well read and frequently commented upon stories than that fairly random little series of almost-OCs, but for some reason it stuck around in my head a lot longer and a lot more clearly than a ton of other stuff.

[oathkeeperoxas]

EMIH12, here!

3 and 4 for the end of the year thing!

Hi Emi! :DDD

3. favorite line/scene you wrote this year

aaaa this is SO hard to pick. It would definitely have to be something from darkest before the dawn, but that fic had soooo many hard hitting lines and parts where I just had to go and lie down for a bit because I was so emotional idk if I can choose just one!!

This is more than a line but less than a scene, but this was the very first bit I wrote for darkest before the dawn, even though it's one of the last scenes in the last chapter. I knew what I was working towards, I just had to figure out the journey there haha

“Why are you here, Cody? What do you want?” Kenobi asks wearily, as if that’s not the most loaded question currently in Cody’s life. What does he want? What can he want?

Kenobi is a ghost from his past, come to haunt him in the most unexpected way possible. Before crash landing on Tatooine, Cody had expected to continue on as he had been, finding jobs on either edge of legal, using his freedom to fuck with the Empire when he could, and avoiding it where he couldn’t. But now he has directions memorised to a small house in the middle of nowhere, and his planning has expanded from get enough credits for this month’s expenses to what is necessary to live on Tatooine; what is hard to get on the planet and what can Cody provide for this small household.

Some days when he’s sleeping in the same room as Kenobi, Cody doesn’t know if he’s playing with the desiccated corpse of the person he used to be, trying to squeeze into the rotting carcass of something that he discarded years ago. He doesn’t want anything in this new life of his. The person he used to be wanted things; now, Cody doesn’t think he cares enough to want much at all. It’s ironic; during the war, when he thought of the future, he thought about the freedom that would come with it. Now that he’s free to do almost anything he wants, he aches for the structure and the purpose of leading an army, and the ability to talk to his brothers and know that he doesn’t have to hide anything from them except his feelings for his General.

Like this really has all the yearning, the tiredness, the angst, the ache of being the sole survivor... ugh, Cody my beloved.

Or if I'm going with something that was just pure fun, the entirety of A Promise To Keep was great, especially the banter between Boba and Fennec, which I genuinely had fun with while writing.

4. total number of words you wrote this year

Haha my new year resolution/goal for the year was to write 201k this year (since last year my goal was 200k and I wanted to go up a little) and so far I have.... 279k haha 😂😭 I have written so much this year, and honestly I fully attribute that to the codywan focused state I have been in, as 216k of that total is exclusively for codywan. I'm going to gun for 301k by the end of December though, so I can say I beat my goal by 100k LOL

[thraaaaaaaanduuuuuuuuiiiiiiiiil]

Author asks 12, 13, & 25

12) your weaknesses as an author -- um. I think I wind up writing fics as if they were research papers because for a HUGE chunk of my life, THAT’S WHAT I WROTE. Also my descriptions of peoples’ emotions and reactions and physical expressions of those could use some work.

13) your strengths as an author -- dumb, cracky ideas. Seriously one of my more recent fics was basically an exploration of “what if someone gave Thrawn a couple of porgs and they accidentally reproduced like Tribbles?” Also longfic. I can write over 100k words easily. I’ve never broken 200k though...I kind of want to but I doubt anyone would ever stick with it until the end.

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of -- God. Um. I guess I’ll for the (current) opening bit of the Star Wars fic I’m working on now:     Ar’alani had goneto great pains over the years to turn her office into a comfortable, enjoyableplace to be – well, as much as she could within regulations. The couch washonestly pushing the boundaries of plushness. She had only gotten around theartwork limitations by first arguing that Thrawn had sent them for her to studyand then falling back on “I’m the Admiral of the Fleet, that’s why” when eventhat argument failed. She had thrown her support behind the building of a newCentral Command building on the condition that they install extra windows inher office.     And yet, she stillhated the place.     She especiallyhated it when people kept coming in and out to give her things.     Like the currentensign who had clearly drawn the short straw, and was cowering in front of herdesk, a box of datacards clutched in his hands.

[hippoland]

Seed rounds are dead

This is my second post (albeit later than I’d hoped!) on the state of Q2 2018 seed-stage fundraising.  The first one focused on crypto is here.  (although it's changed even more since I last wrote, as altcoins are starting to moon again, and I’m sure everyone will leave Consensus this week on a high.)

Here’s what’s happening in the equity world (from my perspective): 

1) Token sales in the crypto-world do affect "equity" raises.

(I put "equity" in quotes because I include convertible notes and convertible securities in this category.)

Part of this is driven by the fact that VCs who can buy into tokens for a while were spending a lot of time looking at token deals, removing some investors from the “equity market”.  

2) As blockchain companies are moving back to the equity world to do their pre-seed fundraises, this has shifted investor attention back into the equity world.

A number of companies that would have done a token sale a few months ago are now doing equity rounds instead.  Part of this is driven by how the SEC is thinking about regulations in this space.  Part of this is driven by the traction bar rising amongst blockchain companies -- the bar is now higher in order to do a large token sale.  I.e. Last year you didn’t really need anything to do a token sale and this year you do!  (wow, what a concept...) 

So, now that there are more companies flooding the equity market (via all these blockchain ideas), this means there is increased competition for startups seeking investor-dollars in the traditional equity world.  This leads me to point #3.

3) The bar for raising a seed round is increasing and so is the bar for raising a pre-seed round.

I allude to this here.  And Charles Hudson did as well here.  Because the gap between pre-seed and seed levels is increasing, there are a couple of approaches to this.  For some funds, it makes more sense to come in at the same entry point but they need to be willing to carry their companies longer (i.e. inject more capital into the company) before their companies get to the next stage.  This is both greater risk and reward -- pre-seed funds can gain more ownership in companies by putting more money into the businesses at lower valuations.  

For other funds, it might mean waiting until there are more investors who are interested in the opportunity.  And for others yet, it might mean waiting longer for results / traction.  

For us, we are not increasing our check size to carry our companies, so effectively, when we do bet very early as first check in, we are now investing at lower valuations.  This is because there is increased risk that these companies will not make it to the next stage, so the price is affected accordingly.  In other cases, if companies are looking for the pre-seed valuations of last year, then in those cases we're often investing alongside investors or they're further along.  In other words, we are not changing our strategy to accommodate changes in the market, but price is reflected in these deals.  

Caveat: this is different for blockchain companies.  As these start to enter the equity market, there are a lot of investors who will fund these companies at a very early stage -- even seed investors who typically don't do other pre-seed deals will bet here.  This is great for blockchain entrepreneurs.  So we see higher valuations in this space.  That being said, because there is also a LOT of competition amongst blockchain companies now, we are also passing a lot too.  So while we are open to paying up a bit, we won’t pay up as much as other investors.  

Just in general, given how cheap it is to start a company and how few pre-seed investors there are, I think it makes sense to bootstrap to some level of revenue traction before fundraising.  At least this is what I would do if I were starting a product-company today.  

4) Seed rounds are dead

These days, pre-seed, seed, and post-seed stages all honestly kind of blend together.  While each has different traction “requirements”, investors will often invest in multiple stages of these.  And, even though many people say the post-seed round is the old A, the interesting thing is that these rounds are not being done by series A investors.  Series A investors are still doing series A rounds even if they are a lot larger rounds that require more traction now.  Post-seed rounds are being done by seed investors.  

This is interesting because it means that "seed" investors will look at a broader stage than they used to.  In fact, Hunter Walk wrote about this greater seed stage here.  

In looking at this phenomenon, though, seed rounds are dead (in most cases).  

Certainly, if you raise early stage money from a large fund, then you've pulled together a round then, yes, that is a round.  But, the vast majority of startups these days will not be able to raise money from large seed funds who lead.  (And that’s ok!)  Most companies these days will be doing party rounds with some permutation of angels / friends & family / and microfunds and at multiple times.

Because most startups will end up raising tranches of money from multiple parties, many startups will use convertible securities (SAFEs / KISSes) or  convertible notes.  And often, these tranches here and there are done at different valuation caps.  E.g. $200k on $3m.  And then you make some progress and raise another $400k on $5m.  Etc.  So effectively, there's no such thing as a "round" anymore.  These are seed tranches.  

Now, a lot of big funds will tell you not to do tranches.  And the truth is that spending a lot of time trying to raise bits of money here and there is not ideal and takes a lot of time.  But frankly speaking, sometimes you have no choice and are not able to raise a big chunk all at once.  And that’s life!  And the best entrepreneurs will try every avenue for fundraising -- big funds, small funds, angels, friends & family -- and will roll with their best options and will keep making progress until they either don’t need investors anymore OR they are able to raise a big round once they’ve proven out the business.  And sometimes the most value-add investors are only able to write small checks.  There are a bunch of angels and microfunds I really respect and would take money from any day even though they are only writing small checks.  

So being able to raise in tranches is actually a good option to have because it gives entrepreneurs more flexibility in how they raise.  Gone are the days where you need to sit around for a lead to decide in 2 months if they want to put $500k into your company.  In many cases if you raise $100k here and there, it may even be faster for you to raise $500k from smaller parties on convertible notes / securities than to wait around for a large fund (depending on the fund).  Tranches also create a forcing function for investors -- if you only have $200k available at $3m, then that makes an investor move faster vs raising a $1m round at $5m when you're just starting your raise.  

So to me, it's a good thing for entrepreneurs that seed rounds are dead.

There are also a bunch of investors who will push back on raising in tranches saying, "yeah, but entrepreneurs end up giving away a lot of their cap table because they don't know how much they are actually being diluted down with their various SAFES and notes". I've heard this argument many times from friends of mine at big firms.  But frankly speaking, whether you're raising in tranches or not, you should ALWAYS know what you are signing before you sign (valuation aside, there are many other terms you should be aware of).  You should always know what percentage of your company you're selling to investors.  Take the time to do the calculations or find someone who can help you with this.  This is not rocket science, and being unable to use a spreadsheet (or find someone to use a spreadsheet) is a poor argument for why someone should not raise in tranches.  

I think this increased optionality for entrepreneurs is always a good thing.

RIP seed rounds.

5) Crowdfunding is starting to take off

This is less of a Q2 observation but more of a 2018 observation.

A question I often get is whether crowdfunding is looked down upon by VCs at later stages.  In general, from what I’ve seen, no.  I've backed a handful of startups who have done crowdfunding before us, and they've gotten funding later from well known VCs.  Building on my overall point in #4, your job as a CEO is to keep the lights on however you can.  And if it means that you're going to raise money from crowdfunding, then that's great.  

Crowdfunding especially works well if you have a consumer product and you have built up an audience who loves you.  When you think about it, this is the best form of funding -- taking money from customers both as customers and investors.  I've seen some of our companies raise a few hundred thousand dollars from their customers in just 2 days.  So, crowdfunding is legit and can move big money and also be valuable in shaping your product.  

Just my purview.  

Fundraising is a nebulous process that I aim to make more transparent.  To learn more secrets and tips, subscribe to my newsletter. 

[canonicallyanxious]

2016 fanfic year in review thing???

I was tagged by @accioinvisibilitycloak. Thank you very much! I can never say no to the opportunity to egotistically brag about my own writing lol. I tag any fic writer who follows me and feels like doing this shiz. Especially @rumpelsnorcack and @boxesfullofthoughts. But everyone else too!

Total Number of Stories Completed: According to AO3, 13

Total Word Count: AO3 says 325,198 [AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH MY GOD]. Again, slightly skewed because 1. The longest fic i wrote on my own, is it the right word?, was mostly written in 2015 and 2. Anywhere between 80-100k [idk though???] was actually written by Lyds as part of our collabs, most notably one lifetime with you [again, a good chunk of which was written in 2015] and everybody begs to be redeemed [but also including our amazing hersula fic all but the brightest stars which is still lowkey one of my fave things we’ve written together]. Still, taking all of that into account this puts me, like, solidly in the 100-200k range which. Like. holy shit. What even am i doing with my life

Fandoms Written In: nmtd/lll, Voltron, the get down, check please!

Looking Back, Did You Write More Fic Than You Thought You Would This Year, Less, Or About What You’d Expected? WAY MORE HOLY SHIT??????? I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW I WAS CAPABLE OF PUMPING OUT THIS MANY WORDS WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING WITH MYSELF WHERE DID I EVEN FIND THE TIME I HAVE NO MEMORY OF WRITING ANY OF THIS

What’s Your Own Favorite Story of the Year? This is!! Very difficult!!! I wrote many things that I am proud of!!! Obviously anything i write with Lyds [olwy, ebtbr] is going to top the list because i just feel like writing with them really brings out the best in me [cue the cheese]. Iitrw I’m proud of because it is, in my estimation, the best novel-length thing I’ve produced in my life. And I’m super proud of i will implode with you (‘cause everything will be all right) because, like, i love holsom with all of my soul and being and i think that fic has some of my best characterization

Did You Take Any Writing Risks This Year? Uhhh i think i spent the whole year like pushing myself in terms of trying out different voices, different tones, different atmospheres… So on that front I’m pretty happy with the risks i took because like i tried my hand at a lot of different kinds of fic and i think it really helped me feel more confident in my versatility as a writer but also in my ability to sound like -myself- across different styles. Also I definitely took some risks in terms of the really out-there tropes/au ideas, writing things that I was interested in rather than what the fandom at large might be into. Some of which were more successful [ebtbr, all of olwyverse; do you see a trend here in terms of what I’m most proud of lol] than others [iitrw], but I’m proud of myself for taking that jump anyway.

Do You Have Any Fanfic Or Profic Goals For The New Year? Ideally I would like to step away a little from fic this year but realistically, considering I’ve told myself for like over a year I’ll step away from fic, who knows if that will actually happen lol. Regardless i am probably going to continue writing fic but i would like to see if i can keep my projects on the shorter end [by which i mean, like, fewer than 50k words. I have high expectations for myself] so i can focus more on school, the future, etc. [aha oh boy……..]

As for profic, i do actually have some concrete goals for this year! I have an original story I’ve affectionately dubbed “delinquent lesbians” [though it’s a bit of a misnomer considering neither character involved is really a delinquent, and at least one of them is not a lesbian; i will not talk about it here but like if anyone is curious i will not object to rambling about them you just have to be Prepared for how much i can talk about them lol] that’s been tossing and turning in my head for the better part of a year i would really love to bring to life at some point. Also! I will not say too much on this topic yet because we don’t know if it will pan out, but Lydia and I are cooking up some of our own original collabs!! I am really excited, guys!!!

Best Story Of The Year? Isn’t this the same as favorite story of the year lol. I guess it’ll have to go to olwy because, like, how can it not go to my and lydia’s 130k word epic monster of a child

Most Popular Story Of The Year? the advantage of withholding your honesty zimbits soulmate au by a long shot

Story of Mine Most Under-Appreciated by The Universe, IMO: iitrw mostly just because i put over a year of work into that bad boy and happened to post it when the fandom shriveled up and died, every femslash thing I’ve ever written in my life

Most Fun Story to Write: olwy!!!! Most of my other projects were absolute hell to get through at one point or another tbqh

Story with The Single Sexiest Moment: Errr i don’t really write “sexy moments”. I guess like the closest I’ve come to is the make out scene i wrote in the fourth part of i will implode with you?? It’s, like, a paragraph lol

Most Sweet Story: I um don’t usually associate myself with “sweet” stories [see: the 130k words of magical angst in olwy, the 78k words of clone angst in iitrw, the 40k words of pacific rim angst in ebtbr; not only am i apparently incapable of writing anything other than heart wrenching tragedy, i write a whole fucking lot of it] but i guess this one would have to go to sing me, baby, home which is probably the fluffiest thing I’ve ever managed to write in my life [i still can’t believe i did something like that lol]

“Holy Crap, That’s Wrong, Even For You!” Story: No spoilers but this would probably have to go to what lydia and i did to Holster at the end of ebtbr [TO BE FAIR IT WAS THEIR IDEA but i wrote it so… yeah…]

And uh also iitrw is based on a pretty fucked up book so like. It’s a pretty fucked up fic just by nature of the beast

Story That Shifted My Own Perceptions Of The Characters: Hm. Well I’d say pretty much every fic i write changes the way i see the characters, especially if it’s the first time I’m writing them. If only because inevitably i will find a way that i can write the POV character as anxious in some capacity lol

Most Unintentionally Telling Story: Okay this is kind of not specific to 2016 but honestly the fact that there are a handful of tropes i keep on beating the hell out of [STARGAZING; long distance relationship; summer romance] probably says a lot about me as a person [that i like soft night time content?? That i like things with twinges of melancholy and sadness and wistfulness?? That i grossly overuse night time/day time/star/sun imagery??? All of the above?????]. Also… i put a lot of myself and my anxiety into olwy!balth so… it might not seem like it but he’s probably the [version of the] character I’ve allowed myself to write the most like myself because i have serious problems with projecting on my faves lol. I was going to answer “the fact that i lowkey hate soulmate au’s even though i actually wrote one” but, like, that was 100% intentional and I kind of want everyone to know that

Hardest Story To Write: this is actually a hard question to answer because i struggled with, like, every single one of my major projects last year. I think in general i struggled the most with omgcp fic for some reason because like the characters’ voices are so incredibly distinct it’s hard to really capture them imo?? There was a point i almost gave up writing the soulmate au’s because they were so hard to do lol

Biggest Disappointment: That lyds and i will never be able to finish our plans for olwy verse. That we probably won’t be able to get to the sequel to ebtbr we were planning either. That I don’t have the time to turn my zimbits pride and prejudice AU into the Austen novel-length clusterfuck it was always meant to be [i hope i can expand on it at least a little more in the future though!]. That i will never write the 10 things i hate about you rosa/jaquie epic the lll fandom deserves. That i didn’t write, like, any original fic??? Seriously dude what are you doing =[

Biggest Surprise: Mostly that i was physically capable of putting out this much writing like completely for free lol. If only i could be this productive in my own real life endeavors

[aphreal42]

2016 Writing Review

I was tagged by @trulycertain​ to ramble a lot about my writing if I feel like it, and let’s be honest, I’ll pretty much always feel like it. 

Total number of completed stories Completed? I think you have the wrong person; I don’t finish things. 

Um, let’s see...

KaMD

Rose-Garden

Unintended Consequences, a long-standing WIP

Silences, pending beta confirmation that it really is finally finished

A handful of fairy tales, some orific and some fanfic

Scattered random drabbles and promptfics

Total word count According to my GYWO spreadsheet: 210,283. 

Of that, about 90k was orific, and about 1200 textbook writing. Leaving a bit over 100k of fanfic, which seems higher than I expected, but I will trust my spreadsheet. (Where would we be if we couldn’t trust our spreadsheets?) 

Fandoms written in Dragon Age and Mass Effect, no surprise. 

But also a big shift towards original fiction this year, as well as a lot of inspiration from fairy tales. 

Looking back, did you expect to write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected? I pledged a 200k goal for GYWO, so I pretty much hit that exactly. The only thing that surprises me is how little of that is work on the textbook. 

What’s your own favorite story of the year? Favorite? Uh... I think I’ll go with Elfblood, my NaNo project. It’s an original fantasy novel and I’m so happy with the type of story and characters. 

Did you take any writing risks this year? More original fiction, and maybe more writing of things that were personal to me (not all of which got posted, so perhaps not that big a risk). Overall, I’m trying to write more of what I want to instead of what I think I’m supposed to. 

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the new year?

Can we call it orific rather than profic? That feels like less pressure. Also, I’m including the textbook as a writing goal even though it’s decidedly not fiction. 

Another 200k GYWO pledge

Finish elfblood (I promised myself a complete novel by the end of sabbatical)

Revise my textbook into a form useful beyond just my class (I promised the university I would do this on sabbatical)

Revise the mermaid project now that I’ve gotten far enough into it to know what it needs

Finish some lingering WIP fics (Void is at the top of this list, and fingers crossed, it may finally be done)

Best story of the year? If we limit this to something finished, um... I’m really happy with the writing in my pair of original mermaid fairy tales, and with Lindworm, for that matter. I think I’ve had success in recapturing the fairy tale narrator voice I used to enjoy writing in, and I’m pleased with that. 

Most popular story of the year? KaMD, pretty much hands down. It benefits from being linked to @cherieofthedragons‘s excellent Teagan’s Chance, so I tend to get a coattail effect of readers migrating over from that. 

Beyond that, random drabbles with Alistair angst are generally my most popular tumblr posts. 

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: I suppose I might have liked Unintended Consequences to get some reaction for finally being finished, but that’s mostly because of how hard it was to write, not because the final sections particularly warranted it. (No one should feel obligated to read it because I said this. It’s dubcon and character death, and I get why people don’t want to read it.) 

Most fun story to write: Elfblood. There’s a rush of writing at NaNo pace, and combining that with letting myself run with a fantasy story and heroes I love... it’s exhilirating. 

Story with the single sexiest moment: No. I spent over half of 2016 in therapy to accept that I am allowed to not like sex, and I’ve deliberately stepped away from feeling like I have to write it to be accepted in fandom. 

The only sex scene I wrote in 2016 was at the end of Unintended Consequences, and the sex in that fic is very deliberately not sexy; it’s about trauma and grief. 

The sexiest moments from my writing in 2016 are probably Void chapter 9 and the infidelity scene early in Silences, but both of those were sitting in draft form for a very long time and only underwent revision in 2016. 

Most sweet story: KaMD or Rose-Garden, I suspect. They’re both stories of awkward courtship and emotional discovery. 

“Holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you!” story: Is that a thing? I think people expect awful from me; it’s kind of what I do. 

That said, I think the story that got me the most outrage in the past year would be this short Sacrifices AU. 

Correction, I’ve remembered Just Swim Down, which was definitely worse. 

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: Rose-Garden or Silences, I think. Stories where the characters take over, throw my script out the window, and tell me what they need to say and do. (Or dig their heels in and refuse to do anything.) 

Most unintentionally telling story: Since this says unintentionally, the answer is Silences. I had no idea why I was really writing that story, although it was apparently obvious to some other people who had the grace not to laugh at me when I finally worked it out. 

Hardest story to write: Unintended Consequences or Void, for very different reasons. Also possibly Silences, as referenced in the previous answer. 

Biggest disappointment: One of my (non-fanfic) fairy tales that just won’t quite shape up into what I know it could be. 

The mermaid project hit a massive reef and needs to go back to the drawing board in a lot of ways. 

Biggest surprise:

The support I get for little things I don’t think anyone but me will care about. This especially includes the fact that there have been several people interested in my original writing. Thank you all. 

[ronnykblair]

The Investment Banking Analyst: Faithful Financial Foot Soldier, or Peon Pining for Punishment?

Ah, the investment banking analyst.

It was the subject of the first article I ever wrote for this site – an article that has continued to generate comments, threats, and snarky reactions ever since.

We’ve covered this topic across many scattered articles and interviews, so I wanted to consolidate all the coverage, update it, and lay out everything you need to know in one spot.

Here’s what investment banking analysts really do, the pros and cons of the job, what to expect in an average day, and how to break in:

First: What Do Investment Bankers Do?

Investment bankers advise companies on large, corporate-level transactions such as mergers and acquisitions and debt and equity issuances.

“Advise companies” means “Work with management teams to market and sell companies, find potential targets to acquire, and make deals go through; or recommend the best terms and timing for a capital raise and then market that debt or equity issuance to investors.”

The role is part advice, part sales and marketing, and part negotiation and deal-making – on a grand scale.

In the investment banking career path, the Analysts are the foot soldiers and workhorses.

They’re near the bottom of the hierarchy, above only Summer Interns.

The Investment Banking Analyst Job Description

Many articles about investment banking say that as an Analyst, you’ll be “in charge of Excel and PowerPoint deliverables, administrative tasks, and responding to requests from clients and potential clients.”

That is true, but it misses the point of the Analyst role.

As an Analyst, your job is to do whatever it takes to support senior bankers in winning and closing deals, even if that means doing ridiculous tasks that have nothing to do with accounting or finance.

Many students from top universities kill themselves earning high grades and winning multiple internships, all to land that elusive investment banking role…

…and then they start working and are disappointed to find that most of their time is spent revising presentations, tracking buyers and sellers, and doing mind-numbing market updates.

Even in highly technical groups, you’re unlikely to spend even 50% of your time on tasks such as financial modeling and valuation.

The “average case” for your time on the job might look like this:

PowerPoint for Pitch Books and Other Presentations: 50%

Random and Administrative Tasks: 30%

Excel-Based Financial Modeling and Valuation: 20%

In less technical groups, such as Equity Capital Markets, you’ll spend even less time in Excel, and in more technical groups, such as Restructuring, you might spend closer to 40-50% of your time on technical tasks.

Finally, note that even if you happen to spend more time on the “interesting work,” it’s still not all that interesting.

Unlike in buy-side roles, where you might use your own research and market/customer analysis to inform your models, many IB models are “paint by numbers” where the numbers are linked to the client’s demands – even if those demands are unrealistic.

You may occasionally get something more interesting, such as an on-site visit, meeting a company’s finance team, or brainstorming potential buyers or sellers, but don’t get your hopes up.

Investment Banking Analyst Hours

Yes, the hours are bad for the reasons described in our article on investment banking hours.

On average, you’ll be in the office 70-85 hours per week, though you won’t necessarily be “working” that entire time.

However, you will be on call 24/7, and you’ll have to respond to urgent requests and emails all the time, making it difficult to have a life or plan regular activities.

Banks have tried to improve the hours over time with “protected weekends” and other mandatory time off, but the results have been mixed.

It’s a bit better for Analysts now than it was in the late 1990s or mid-2000s, but it’s still a grueling job that requires incredible sacrifice.

Wait… Why Would Anyone Ever Want to Be an Analyst?!!

“Wait a minute,” you say, “this job sounds awful. Most of the work is boring, you work 80 hours per week, and you deal with crazy people all day. Why would anyone do it?!!”

Good question.

Most IB Analysts do the job because:

It’s Not a Long-Term Position – You do it for 2-3 years, and then you move up into senior roles in investment banking, or you move into jobs such as private equity or hedge funds.

You Earn A Lot – Investment banking offers higher compensation than any other job out of university, except for a few quant finance roles and programming jobs at big tech companies.

You Gain Access to Great Exit Opportunities – And you can win more interesting roles in private equity, hedge funds, venture capital, corporate development, and other fields after working as an IB Analyst. For more, please see our article on exit opportunities.

The basic philosophy is “short-term pain, long-term gain.”

By killing yourself for a few years, you give yourself many future options in other, more-interesting, higher-paying jobs.

If you value your free time and don’t want to sacrifice your early 20s, this is not the right job for you.

Investment Banking Analyst Salary (and Bonus)

Base salaries at large banks in the U.S. are just under $100K USD.

Bonuses are often 0.5x to 1.0x your base salary, so average total compensation might be between $150K and $200K.

Pay is lower outside the U.S., even in other financial centers such as London, and pay also tends to be lower at boutique investment banks.

For more on this topic, please see our article on investment banker salaries.

What Does an Investment Banking Analyst Do?

Each day in your life as an Investment Banking Analyst is different, but an “average day” might look like this:

9 AM – 12 PM: Arrive at the office, update a status report on potential buyers in an M&A deal, send it out, and join an update call with the client’s management team.

The senior bankers do most of the talking, so you work on a pitch book for a different, potential deal in the background.

12 PM – 3 PM: You join a few “due diligence calls” for another deal, where the potential buyer asks customers of the seller questions about why they use its products and services.

You’re just there to monitor the calls and make sure the potential buyer doesn’t go too far with its questioning. After that, you run to Starbucks with a few Analysts for a quick break.

3 PM – 5 PM: There’s a huge incident as a traveling Managing Director requests briefing materials for an upcoming pitch ASAP, and you have to scramble around to find and send hundreds of pages of reading.

5 PM – 7 PM: Your Associate comes over to review the Confidential Information Memorandum (CIM) for the client from this morning, and you start making his changes to the financial summary and market sections.

There’s a bit of downtime after this, so you order food and then shop for furniture online.

7 PM – 10 PM: As one of the VPs is leaving the office, he decides that the team needs to re-do a pitch book for an upcoming initial public offering (IPO), and he wants to see the new draft by tomorrow morning.

You start coordinating with the Equity Capital Markets (ECM) team to get market updates and case studies.

10 PM – 1 AM: The Associate signs off on the new qualitative slides in this draft of the pitch book, and he leaves the office. You continue to tweak the valuation and Excel-based parts.

1 AM – 2 AM: Another Analyst at the office is having a major problem with a complicated Excel model not working, so you decide to stay another hour to help out, and then you go home.

This is a fairly busy day, but not an outrageously busy or terrible one.

Factors that create “bad days” include:

Multiple Live Deals: If you’re on 3-4 deals that are all active at the same time, the workload is unpredictable, and you could get streams of requests throughout the day.

Big Upcoming Pitches: Since pitches have hard deadlines and bankers like to do unnecessary work, you could easily end up staying late or even pulling an all-nighter to finish a long and detailed pitch book.

Last-Minute Emergencies: For example, if a traveling MD suddenly needs information for a meeting taking place in 1-2 hours, be prepared to scramble.

“Good days” or “slow days” tend to happen when you can focus on a specific deal or client instead of being pulled in 10-15 different directions.

Interacting with management teams is probably the best part of the Analyst job, so those discussions can also create good days.

A Week in the Life of an Investment Banker

In an average week, you will not have much free time on weekdays.

Many Analysts are in the office from 9 AM to 1 AM each day, and sometimes a bit less than that on Friday or other “slow days.”

You might get called in for a few hours on Saturday and Sunday, but you’re unlikely to be there all day unless you’re working on an important deal that’s close to the finish line and that requires your presence.

If you’re wondering about the gym, sports, or having a social life, you do all of that “when you can,” which often means late at night, on weekends, or not at all.

Investment Banking Recruiting: How to Break In

The bad news about IB is that it’s still a very competitive field to get into, and you don’t have a great shot unless you go to a top university, earn high grades, and complete multiple internships.

The good news is that there’s so much information about investment banking available today that if you really want to break in, and you put in the effort, you probably can.

You might have to compromise by working at a smaller bank or non-bank initially, or you might have to “pound the pavement” with aggressive cold calls and cold emails, but it’s still doable.

By contrast, if you were recruiting for this job several decades ago (e.g., the late 1990s), it would have been nearly impossible to get in as a non-traditional candidate because there was so little information about it.

We cover the details in our article on how to get into investment banking, but the two main paths into the industry as an Analyst are:

As an Undergraduate – Complete multiple finance internships in your first and second years, earn high grades, network with alumni, win a summer IB internship at a large bank following your third year, and convert it into a full-time offer there.

As a Recent Grad – Still complete internships during undergrad, but get started with IB a bit later, so work in a related-but-not-quite-banking role after graduation, such as at a Big 4 firm or valuation firm, and then network and win an offer as a lateral hire.

The IB Analyst Job: Right for You?

If you’re reading this site, you are probably a high-achieving, Type-A personality, so I’m not going to waste time discussing whether or not IB is right for you (for that one, see our coverage of the investment banking career path).

Instead, there are two specific questions you should ask yourself:

Do you need to work as an IB Analyst first if your ultimate goal is something else in finance, such as hedge funds or private equity?

What is the long-term outlook for this job? For example, if you’re in high school or your first year in university, will IB Analyst roles still be around in the future? Will they be automated or displaced?

The short answer to the first question is, “No, you don’t necessarily need to start as an IB Analyst anymore if you can win a good offer at an established buy-side firm right out of undergrad.”

However, if you’re not sure what you want to do in the long term, then you can’t go wrong with an IB Analyst role because of the options it gives you.

For more on this one, see the investment banking vs private equity article.

On the second question: unless something very fundamental in the economy and financial markets changes, Analyst roles are unlikely to go away or even change significantly.

Many people also “predicted” that Analysts would go extinct after Excel was developed and adopted by everyone, and that didn’t exactly happen.

I could see programming skills becoming more important, as they have in sales & trading, but I doubt that most IB work will shift away from Word/Excel/PowerPoint in the near future.

So, once you put in the time and effort required to get into the industry, you start working, and then you start complaining about your job, you can look back fondly on this article:

“Wow, it’s just like he described. And… not that much has changed. Except for my compensation – bonuses are up this year! (phew)”

The post The Investment Banking Analyst: Faithful Financial Foot Soldier, or Peon Pining for Punishment? appeared first on Mergers & Inquisitions.

from ronnykblair digest https://www.mergersandinquisitions.com/investment-banking-analyst-job/

[handsingsweapon]

5, 8, 10, 11? :D

i think these were the things but it’s late and i might have missed

what inspires you to write?in the very general sense, i’ve loved reading books since i was really little, and i think that inspired a desire to replicate by trying to tell stories of my own. i also, for a pretty long time, was much better expressing myself in written words than via verbal communication because i don’t think i started acclimating to social cues really until like. embarrassingly late. i wouldn’t classify myself as being ‘on the spectrum’ but i was definitely a late bloomer and i think i have a very systems-oriented brain. aspirations-wise: i would love to feel like i tell a complete, original work of fiction that conveys something true about the human condition and celebrates the things that are good about people while also acknowledging the ways in which we’re a little bent. in the fanfic sense: i watched yoi, had (i mean this, like a compulsion) to celebrate what it meant in media to the lgbtq+ community, as a result i got inspired to frenzy-write YOF, and then the positive feedback loop got addicting and/or inspiring so now i keep doing it as a way to stay sharp and try things out in regards to that middle idea up there. it’s also slowly proving to myself that yes, i could reasonably hit 100k or 200k words somehow if i just had the same clarity of thought about story arcs for original work ^is there a character you love writing for the most? the least? why?in my original writing i have some favorites, but they’re not specific people right now, more like character templates that represent ideas or virtues that i’m fond of attempting to convey. for yoi stuff, it varies fic by fic. in YOF it was unexpectedly christophe; in silver splendour it’s unexpectedly otabek.weirdly enough: i have some hangups about writing for christophe, in spite of all that, just because i personally am somewhere in the ace/demi part of the sexuality spectrum and it’s just in general hard for me to feel like i’m unpacking his sex appeal well. some of the lesser known skaters are hard for me to write because i don’t feel like i know their motivations well. i will never write for mickey and sara because mickey creeps me the fuck out, and in a way, georgi does too for the same reason (i’ve had bad personal experiences with co-dependence on the receiving end of it and so it’s a little bit triggering to witness, in the same way that sometimes yuuri’s anxiety can be, like watching a replay of a train wreck i really was fine not revisiting again ever). viktor is unexpectedly hard sometimes because he is aloof in a lot of my work and doesn’t want to let people into his headspace, kind of self-protecting with his sheen of success. and that’s irritating because i love him and he is my precious not-so-small son and i wish i got what’s in his head out on paper more frequently.what are your strengths wrt writing? speed. if i had the free time for it i could probably honestly write like 2500 words at least a night, probably more, like 4 or 5 nights a week without blinking an eye in regards to fanfiction. some of the other stuff i’ve got stashed away i take more time developing and it takes months but the point is if i sit down for three hours i’m going to walk away with several pages of stuff. it’s not necessarily the stuff i would wind up wanting to have if i was really publishing, but it’s enabled me to post at this pace for fanfiction. and for original settings i’d like to think i have a strong worldbuilding perspective which, again, is very much informed by a) having been lucky enough to travel (i got an old passport back in the mail today: twelve country stamps, and two visas, on three continents, other than the one i live on is a pretty good stint for ten years of passport?) b) having read authors who are good at this.i also have a strong bent towards making what i think are appeals to humanity’s general goodness, or characters who are built that way, that sort of a thing. what are your weaknesses wrt writing? i start to over-rely on specific words or developing a dislike of others at random. caught myself doing this last week with ‘murmur’ at the expense of something simple, like ‘said.’ i don’t like the way i describe dialogue exchanges in past tense. i sometimes have characters preach a little too much, or do what i think is preachy, like viktor getting on to yakov. i think this gets back to what i wrote in the first ask which is that verbal dynamics in general are still areas where i miss cues and i think that bleeds into my writing sometimes because i assume everyone must be interested in all these opinions.i don’t feel like i’m good, necessarily, at writing average love, like “still married to your husband ten years later and today’s not that great of a day and you’re wondering if it was a mistake but you’re going to stay married tomorrow because maybe it was just a bad mood” love. i’m good at writing the “i am going to keep you forever and a day” love. that’s the worldview i want to write from. so sometimes the bad parts of mundane reality aren’t a place i’m willing to longer.also: i’m bad at writing evil things or total villains. and if i was going to write a full-scale fantasy work (which i have tried), i am bad at deciding which pawns get sacrificed in order to ultimately win the chess game. i tend to want to have a happy ending for everyone which is part of the reason that yoi is such a blessing because what is this magic how did they manage it i mean really tell me your ways.zzztirednow this was ramble-y okay bye