#i CANNOT BELIEVE you are sending my own bad choices to me!!!!
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lunafool · 9 months ago
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@heartwilled sent... Ken stares down at the cans of Mad Bull Sakuya has just dropped in his lap. He's definitely feeling the effects of using his Persona so much in Tartarus tonight, but... "Is it really okay for me to have all this?" He says this, but...he is curious, and he probably could use the extra energy. At the very least, he doesn't want to be a burden on the others. Decision made, he cracks open the first can and drinks.
in retrospect, giving a ten year old several energy drinks is probably not a good idea. hell, the can even says children should not be drinking its contents. alas, you're running low on supplies ( some, you've noticed, have an effect on one's magical abilities in the dark hours, while others restore vitality ) and what is left is hard to come by. best to save those for emergencies, when the entire group needs the boost.
ken... will be fine. probably. you sure hope, because you can feel the third years' eyes boring into your back disapprovingly. the fights with the gatekeepers have been getting tougher and tougher. maybe ken will somehow burn through the excessive amounts of energy chugging way too many mad bulls will give him.
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"probably not," you admit as you crack open a can of your own, "sorry. it's what i have on hand; i didn't get the chance to go shopping today... worst comes to worst, if you can't get to sleep after we get back, you can probably just say you're sick and stay home tomorrow."
it's just a few more floors until you reach the border... you'll just have to do your best.
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himalayaan-flowers · 4 months ago
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please stop describing ERP as a "gold standard treatment" i am going to cry
#i am so so so sick of reading articles like “why won't your ocd get better? it's bc you're not engaging with ERP or doing your homework”#why is everything apparently always my fault?#i can see how ERP works with a fear of flying or something#i basically did ERP on myself before with that#i basically instinctively used CBT on myself to stop my endless compulsions as a teenager#i still have them but i improved so much#but this form of ocd is NOTHING like that#you cannot use CBT on a fear of something intangible#ERP is making you do something you fear will send you to hell forever#if someone believes that genuinely there's no way they're taking that risk#and for BDD???#bdd is not just about anxiety it's about shame#ERP will not fix that#it's too late i can't undo anything#it's my own bad choices which made the BDD worse but there's nothing i can do now#please stop blaming me for seeing things as they are :'(#i'm stupid but not that stupid#you know when someone has really severe terminal cancer#you don't keep forcing them into treatment that won't work#you let them die#why can't it be that way for psychological pain?#i would like to have lived#but not as me#the ocd/bdd is no one's fault apart from maybe my own#but i didn't consent to being born#i didn't ask to have messed up genetics that make me this way#if it's my own fault bc “free will” i didn't consent to free will either#i just want to die without hurting anyone#i just wish i would die naturally so i don't have to face the guilt of hurting my mum#i love her so much </3
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shiningmystic · 3 months ago
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Messages from your Spirit Guides PAC 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪
─── ─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ────── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ────── ───
Welcome friends, to your sprit guide reading whoever your guides may be they always respond to you.
I only call upon the spirits that look fondly upon you and see the being beneath all the judgement and ego, there is just essence. Unconditional love is what I always dip down to even if there are days that I cannot do it for myself, I know it is always present and that gives me much comfort on my worst days. Mental health awareness is real and always check in with yourself especially being chronically honed in on the bad shit that happens around you or is happening. Cultivating slowness is an everyday job for all of us but when we do it we do become thankful. I'm a bit rusty so forgive me if some of my words may be repetitive. Drop a follow to know when I post another general reading!
Pick your Photo:
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Pile I: colors of light 🧚🏾‍♀️
The lovers (rx), 6 of pentacles, 9 of pentacles, the heirophant (rx), 9 of wands (rx)
Back of the deck: ace of cups (rx), knight of swords, 7 of cups
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Pile one to begin, your guides sent me images of the sun peering through glass and reflecting rainbow colors which really makes me feel as though you are a deep person but from day to day you may feel dull. Your guides are reminding you, sending you messages of your inner light and how it shines out even if you hide it and reflects back in people places or things. There is a lot about beauty here and how to stay genuine to yourself; your beauty is unique and comparing your beauty to someone else’s is a crime against them and you. If you genuinely don’t think you’re beautiful on outside, then there are always ways to work with what we have when we are ready to tackle it (honestly sometime i need to cry it out). Now on with the card pull:
Wow, I feel a lot going on with so many messages, I’ll try and keep it concise.
First message: you will always be enough is a huge message. It doesn’t matter even if they left you, even if someone who you loved told you that you were too much or even feeling that way towards yourself and your guides do not agree. The more we believe that the more we hurt ourselves and continue to prove it right. Even if you are ‘too much’ there are people out there that would disagree. - huge lesson I’m learning is that two truths can exist at the same space even if they oppose the other. For example, when I talk about my trauma, I feel vulnerable and fearful yet after the fact I feel both emotions, strong and weak. Both fear and strength. You are not to much and even if they couldn’t handle you, your a whole lot of love and light especially from the energy from the image.
Message two: some of you are away from family or your country, things are changing and it’s overwhelming in many ways. There is a lot of choices and a lot of overwhelming feelings towards making them. Your guides are advising you to trust in yourself and ignore the voices around that do not harbor understanding. Trust in your own judgment and believe in what you’re doing because it is your life and your actions that shape it; you will be the one living with it so always believe in yourself, you know what’s best for you and even when we make that mistake, we need a gentle reminder that mistakes are apart of success. if you don't give yourself the space to learn then you will continue to never know what is for you.
Message three: it’s always you pile one that always gets the message to be kinder to yourself; life isn’t a strict fast paced all or nothing (obviously life is very hard now for many.) but your guides are reminding you life will have its downs and if you can’t take time for those downs then they will be crashes. I’m feeling loved ones coming through this pile, so just know your guides understand your struggle and want to remind you as well that they are always with you.
Lots of burn out energy, you are so strong, please believe me when I say you are enough.
To the lovely humans who broke up with someone or let go of a person who you love but was toxic, you did the right thing for yourself, i send you love my love.
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Pile II: Stepping stones ☄️
8 of cups, the hierophant, 7 of cups (rx), ace of pentacles, temperance, the moon
Back of the deck: queen of wands and 2 of cups (rx)
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Right now you’re stepping up to the unknown, it’s natural to be fearful of risk. Pile 2 I sense that good things will come to you when you make the choice, even with hesitation don’t doubt the choices you have already made. all we can do is what we know now. the effort you put into your work will pour back into you. I can sense a lot of hesitation but still moving forward and that takes courage! Your guides are proud of you stepping up to the plate.
I can see some people going back to school and graduating scared that they will never find stability. Some of you are taking chances and starting businesses especially creative ones (relatable content). Your guides are supporting you on your financial endeavors and know the future feels scary for many.
It’s very unstable in many places right now so I understand the confusion and the fear but the pendulum always swings back and things always go back into balance again even by force (which we shouldn’t let it to come to an extreme but whatever.) You are strong people but this creativity needs to be grounded in reality when it comes to money; be realistic and continue with your motivated attitude towards your endeavors. honestly some of you are and are focusing to hard on the little details, relax and just do what's in front of you.
Believe in yourself pile 2. You have grown to doubt yourself and abilities at times because of push back and it’s actually super healthy for intelligent people to question themselves but to much self doubt only leaves us frozen. Now is the time to go ahead and shine!
The energy for you is ripe with opportunities your guides are saying go ahead, take the calculated risk, do the thing you want to but just know take time to do it with love and integrity you will succeed.
The moon and the 7 of cups reverse tell me about your doubt, anxiety and not knowing what may happen is the worst but life is all about the mystery and discovering your path. dear wanderer, not all souls who walk a lonely path are lost, maybe you'll run into another.
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Pile III: Glowing mushrooms 🍄
Page of cups, Death, The Emperor, King of pentacles, strength (rx), Ace of pentacles, 4 of pentacles, Page of Swords
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Your path to transformation takes determination and strength, but understand the power is within you and how you have gotten far.
Mushrooms are pretty crazy! They grow in so many places and are resilient; I’m not saying you’re a mushroom (even though honestly, it’s a vibe) but your guides are bringing it up. Every photo is connected to the pile it is above and yours is about your strength and resilience (pile 2 as well but it's much more emphasized here).
I mean so many people are keeping it together right now and you’re no different but I feel an extra sprinkle of shit being thrown your way recently or this could be a theme. Keep doing what you’re doing is a message for many but to keep taking the steps to this new life and I mean new life. I don’t mean moving away and starting over (unless that resonates) but you are changing it up, starting new habits and new routines, taking steps constantly at a different pace but never stopping, (it’s a lot that you have been juggling I’m surprised I don’t see the 2 of pentacles) Your guides are like Dang they got this.
Lots are taking big steps in life atm and your frozen on a choice (pile 2 also has some of that energy) there is a message of that you’re only human and sometimes it’s alright to be vulnerable and look back at the good times but the here and now is calling, stay focused and channel your emperor energy guys.
Please don’t neglect your mental health, many of you may be overworking even when you feel like you haven’t pushed yourself hard enough *whacks head* stop! You are working enough it’s just that things in reality are kinda messed up and that’s why there so many of us like this. the world is dysfunctional so of course we will be too. But of course that doesn’t solve the issue of having to keep on when your anxious and depressed, but a minute of your day is all you need to cry, to get a hug from someone, I always recommend self care. You can be strong and vulnerable at the same time and I’m willingly absorbing the information from my therapist on how two truths can exist at the same time even if they oppose the other. Be upset and when you can get up and finish that assignment, project, shipment, sale, you seriously got this but I know this is more about the stress and anxiety all this work carries with it.
Stable energy is present in the spread which makes me feel like your guides are just cheering you on knowing how hard it has been and that you are reaching positive new things especially with Death and this transformation that been going on. Be wary of spending for right now (as i assume you are tbh) but know that finances energetically will grow , just stay on task and carry yourself with pride because you are amazing!
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So those were the messages I picked up on, I hope they comfort and support you in some way, or even give you advice. Stay humble and lovely my friends.
Tarot decks used: Rider-Waite tarot deck
- ShiningMysticTarot ☀️
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mueritos · 9 months ago
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i hope we continue to see more protests within the US military. i see a lot of leftists and folks who are anti-military who have such an open disdain for the people who are in the military, yet neglect to considering the conditions this country makes to produce ideology, poverty, and the illusion of choice to make all kinds of people choose to enlist in the military. You ever see those videos of ROTC kids recording each other asking why they joined the military and everyone's like, "healthcare", "it helped me go to college", "I was bored" or "free ptsd lol". I hate to remind everyone but folks who are in the military are people, too, and they are the same victims and perpetrators of violence as the rest of you, we have all been shallowly conditioned to view each other as enemies just because one person is wearing army greens and the other is not.
some of the biggest anti-war advocates are those who engaged in war. Veterans who genuinely believed they were protecting the US against "terrorism" come back with blood on their hands, and they choose to realize that it was US imperialism that forced them to carry out violence, instead of doubling down and shielding themselves from the fact that they too are capable of atrocities... This is a class of people who are intentionally conditioned to be as poor and as ideologically aligned to US imperialism so that the military has a never-ending pool to send their youth to destroy other country's youth. The only people I have ever heard say "do not join the military" are those who ARE military.
This is in no way to ever excuse or explain away any of the atrocious war crimes and violence this industry and its people have committed against others. What I am saying is that we absolutely cannot cast aside the individuals who have been victimized within US imperialism, even if they are wearing army greens. I was speaking with my Palestinian classmate last week and another classmate--a member of the US air force-- walked up to me and struck up a conversation. My military classmate showed me her new bird, bid both of us goodbye, and left. My Palestinian classmate asked me if I was close with her, and I said we talked quite often, and she said, "I never met a person who's in the military. I still hate the military, but I never knew that they did, too. I didn't realize that they were also victims."
If my Palestinian classmate--one who is actively watching her own community die--can understand that it is not individuals who are the problem but it is in fact systems, US imperialism, white supremacy, capitalism...why can't we all? And she has EVERY reason to hate any individual military member. A lot of online activism just creates more barriers. if your optics look bad, complicated, or contradictory, you are cast aside. Everyone has got the be the perfect activist, you can never make a mistake or share a half-baked thought, you should always believe every word from a marginalized persons mouth (because being marginalized doesn't mean you're not entrenched in white supremacy too!) and you should never question what you see...Do you know what you sound like? The very imperialists who are convincing poor whites to vote against themselves. Perfectionism is white supremacy. Black & white thinking is white supremacy.
I'd rather have a military member who genuinely believed in the US imperialism machine but was disillusioned after being deployed as my comrade than some leftist who cherishes the performance of "being a good person". I don't want "good people" in our movements. I want humans who care. I want humans who make mistakes and who learn from them. I want humans who accept the messiness of a person. I want humans who hold others accountable and allow themselves to take responsibility for their actions. I want people who change for themselves and others.
fight systems, not individual people. we can change each other, but if we're too preoccupied looking like the World's Perfect Activists, we will only consume each other alive. Connect to your fellow humans, forever and always.
#muertotalks#a mind dump after seeing so much come out after the self immolation of the us air force member#i know hes not the first one to self immolate for palestine#and he might not be the last#i hate the military#i really fucking do#but i choose to see the people within them as victims within the overall system just like the rest of us#i will never go through what they did to make them choose to enlist#i never struggled with poverty homelessness healthcare or social acceptance#i wont shame them#shame is not productive#i want them to know there are civilians who support their protests#i want them to know that we their allies too#a note on my palestinian classmate#if youre arab or also a colonized person impacted by the us military feel free to hate every member of the military#i dont intend to police yall in how you choose to feel your anger#im angry with you#the point i mean to make is about understanding and compassion#someone who has every right to hate these people still chose to see them as the people they are#yes i even want the best for the “bad” people in the military too#i dont want these people to continue the ideology but we cant stop that without dismantling these systems#and we cant do that without creating spaces for healing and reform and growth#so many thoughts so many thoughts#none of this is easy#i fight daily against impulsively hating the world#everyday is a fight to choose compassion and understanding#but being a leftist and doing leftism is not fucking easy#if you genuinely think it is it isnt#and you may be missing the point of what leftism is#anyway
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lunas-side-anime-blog · 10 months ago
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aot veteran/104 corp icks bc im back on my bullshit
someone requested AOT veteran icks, they didn't specify nsfw or not so I did both and also added sasha connie and jean bc i luv them:) feel free to message/inbox with requests!
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(levi, erwin, hange, jean, sasha and connie)
Levi
will visit ur place and organize things without you asking. he'd just be like "ur welcome, now your kitchen makes sense" and ur like sir, I don't know where anything is now??? also he'd def the type to proclaim he's better than you for only getting two hours of sleep when you got four. honestly so many icks come to mind for this one, imma limit it to those two for now (stay tuned lol)
nsfw: tries to be rough with you but forgets his own strength. will try to throw you on the bed, but he does it too hard so you completely miss the bed and fall on the other side of it and he's just standing there like "🧍🏻...my bad."
Erwin
you cannot convince me this man doesn't wear water shoes at the pool. you guys say you want a dilf until you actually get one bc this is the type of shit it entails^^
nsfw: erwin cannot dirty talk for shit. im srry but if you're a lil kinky this isn't the man for you. try to call him daddy and he'd be like "we don't have kids?" and you explain the kink to him and he'd just say, "have you considered therapy?🤨" now he's concerned, boner gone, you feel called out, just go to sleep tbh
Hange
they're def a firm believer in natural deodorant and won't take the graceful hints that it's not working. prob wouldn't chill w them on a hot day is all i'm saying
nsfw: feel like they'd be really good in bed tbh like i'm struggling to think of an ick. hange has big dick energy, weirdos just do it better idk. i think maybe hange would try to spit in your mouth (they a freak) and they have so much and its thick and globby like the back of the throat type spit, your gonna choke bro im gagging as a i type-
Jean
bring back toxic masculinity because Jean's hair care routine is so good to the point he'll call out your split ends, i just know it
nsfw: a fucking chatterbox like his homies know everything. you've walked in on him telling connie in extreme detail how he had you in a full nelson last night while you screamed bloody murder and he doesn't see why ur mad. "babe, if anything i'm bragging about you 😏" fucking idiot istg. also kinda gross but I think he's the type to keep sniffing his fingers after fingering you like well into the next day EWW
Sasha
obvi she can't share for shit so I think she'd be an annoying person to eat out with. like yk when you're with your friends and only one person puts their card down so the rest can Venmo them? I think you can ask her to Venmo 20 and she'd send 15 and say something like "oh I didn't eat as many fries" but she fr did. never puts her card down either so believe it or not? jail.
nsfw: will literally be on her phone mid-sex with you. feel like she'd be really into the subway surfer vids and yeah, you go down on her and look up and she brought her own entertainment? ipad child behavior
Connie
i think he'd say "we" when talking about his fave sports team as if he contributed. like, "really connie, you helped win the superbowl? did you score a touchdown?" grow tf up
nsfw: insane bush on this one, i feel like he doesn't groom for shit and whatever, that's your choice! but I also feel like college-aged modern connie would talk shit about women who weren't bald down there and won't eat it unless it is. HYPOCRITE!! I think when he gets to his mid-twenties tho he'd mature (sasha beat his ass)
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breakerwhiskey · 4 months ago
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260 - TWO HUNDRED SIXTY
Please visit breakerwhiskey.com for more information or to send a message to Whiskey's radio. Breaker Whiskey is an Atypical Artists production created by Lauren Shippen. If you'd like to support the show, please visit patreon.com/breakerwhiskey.
Transcript under the cut. For more episodes, click here.
[click, static]
It took me the better part of a day but I think I’ve done it. I think I’ve written out your whole message. It…I honestly have no idea what it says. I was so focused on the individual letters, barely any words formed from it as I went.
I…I should go get Harry. But she’s sleeping and…I think she needs the rest. After—we’re still working through things and I think—no, I know—we will be for a very long time. As we waited for your message to finish transmitting, we talked a lot. We maybe got a little…distracted from time to time, but she put it all out on the table, everything she’d been thinking and feeling that she didn’t tell me. Things she didn’t even write in her notebook. And I told her things…we aired grievances and shared the times when we thought we might get close to something, back in New York. She talked about how she felt about Pete and listened to me when I talked about him and…and she was really kind when I couldn’t parse the good from the bad, when I didn’t want to just write him off as a violent criminal. I mean, I don’t…well, there are a lot of things I need to work through and it doesn’t all have to do with Harry.
Well. I could fill you in on all of it, on every detail, but…these broadcasts have been mine, separate from Harry, as much as anything in my life can be separate from Harry, and there are some things with her that are separate from the world. At least for now.
I know I said I might stop transmitting now that we’re safe and I think…I think I am going to take a break. Disappear for a little while like you’re so fond of doing. I’m—well, I think I’m happy and I’m not totally sure what to do with that feeling. Especially since it’s laced with…well, Junior is still out there, we’re still trapped here and even though I know what it’s like to kiss her, to— I don’t think I’ve forgiven Harry yet, not fully. She knows that, she…she’s understanding of it. Genuinely. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to try to get there. Especially since I know I haven’t been the paragon of healthy communication and perfect relationship behavior so there are things that I need to…that I need her forgiveness on and, well, I think she wants to try to get there too.
All that said—well, I don’t know what I’m going to find in your message and I hope it’s not goodbye forever, but maybe this is a goodbye for now. I want only good things for you Birdie. I hope you get a little peace of mind. A little closure. I’m discovering eve the tiniest glimpse of it really does wonders.
Okay. Here we go.
“Dear Whiskey,
I am sorry that we couldn’t meet. You find yourself in a watch tower of my own creation. I wasn’t positive it would still be functioning in this timeline—you never do know when an earthquake or a storm is going to cause something to come toppling down—but I’m relieved to find that it is. I do wish I could have been there myself, but we can only enter timelines through great pains and effort and I have already interfered far more than we are meant to. Though I suppose my hand was forced when I ceased to be the only one communicating with you.
The person you know as Fox is, as you guessed, a purist. They want all people in all places to be instead in one place, following one path. They do not believe that anyone should be free to make their own choices and live with the consequences. They would prefer to guide your hand into another choice you cannot take back, all in service of what they deem to be correct. They know what they are; they even told you directly. Though they are not the figment of an author’s imagination, they are as close to Eternity as one can get. Though in this case, they are not the norm, but a rebel.
And I cannot claim there is nothing to re—rebel against. It is not a perfect system. It is hard, to watch people suffer in the worlds of their own creation, with no obvious recourse. Sometimes these timelines correct themselves, merging with each other or disappearing entirely. But even we, the keepers and observers of these strands, cannot fully comprehend the intricacies of why certain shifts are created.
As you know, you are not the first person for whom I have tried to bring comfort in a lonely universe. Not all alternate worlds are as empty as yours, but some are even emptier. And yours, was of course, becoming more empty all the time, though that may not be a bad thing for every person involved.
Fox told you you’re too late because the timeline has shifted once again. I’ll explain that in a moment but first I need to talk about the shift that preceded it, that caused an angry man to seek vengeance. A few months ago, Fred Billings’ mother—“
Fred. That’s his name. Fred. Wow, I, uh—anyway—
“Fred Billings’ mother, who was her—who was here, vanished from this place and merged with her correct timeline. Both Fred and his father perished in a car accident on New Year’s Eve 1974, and the widow Billings’ life was forever changed. Fred woke up here one day to find that his mother—who he had lived with in some degree of contentment for the last six years—had vanished. Meanwhile, she was waking up in the place she was from, with no memory of this world.
That’s what would have happened if you had killed Junior. Or, at least, that is what Fox and I both suspected. That it would have aligned enough with the timeline of your origin and you would’ve been sent back. But you should know, if that were to happen, all of this would seem like a strange dream. Your memories of the last seven years would be filled with the experience of that other you. The events you’ve experienced here would not inform your life. I have not brought you here to keep you from making that decision for yourself, but because I thought you deserved to have all the information relevant to what Fox was asking you to do. They forced my hand when they told you to kill Fred—I could not let you do that without knowing the full consequences.
However, it is a moot point. As I said, something in the timeline has shifted again. You have merged—you have merged with another offshoot, your circumstances have once again changed. I wish I could give you the information that would help you navigate this new world—I wish I knew if this meant more potential allies or if this meant that you were closer to getting back home than you were before. But we cannot see all. Fox has their ways of seeing more than most, but I suspect even they are uncertain of what this shift has brought.
I do know that yours and Harry’s fates are irreversibly intertwined. I cannot think of a decision on any timeline that would separate you as you are now. In that sense, I take comfort in knowing you will never be truly alone.
On that subject, I have a final gift for you. I know you are going to cease transmitting soon. And I understand that, I do. But before you go silent, look at the radio system in front of you—“
…okay…
“Turn it on and tune to the very last frequency. Then switch on the delta tune to the positive and access the off-frequency just beyond that final channel.
Through some error that I know my superiors would like to correct, your transmissions have been reaching out—have been reaching outside of your world. In the same way that visions of the world you came from have bled into where you are now—” The polaroids I’m guessing— “your words have reached beyond their usual bounds. It is why they were able to reach your friends from across the country and after a year of listening to you, I have yet to figure out why this is happening at all.
Perhaps now that you are no longer alone, you don’t need this particular comfort. But you have spent all this time calling into the dark, hoping someone was listening, hoping someone would call back. Hoping that someone out there would find you.
You were found a long time ago. You were never really lost or alone. Many of them were alone, before they heard your voice. But the moment you called out, there were voices calling back, even if you couldn’t hear them.
Your friend, Birdie”
What…I don’t…I don’t understand—
Okay, tune to the last frequency…let’s see
[turning to the frequency]
“You were found a long time ago”…Who found—
[gets to the last frequency and then—
a cacophony of different voices, all the messages that Whiskey has not been receiving, from infinite timelines]
(an intake of breath)
Oh my god.
[static]
[click]
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zombie-bait · 10 months ago
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The Death of a Vampire
Lestat as a protagonist just works so incredibly well and a very significant aspect of that is him being Anne Rice's self-insert. Lived experience can be critical when it comes to writing a good story and many memorable novels will feature elements of that. Anne is built different, though. Lestat (book 2 onwards) is basically Anne's journal for dealing with her grievances and trauma, which, on its own, is a very questionable method of writing. More often than not, it causes him to be characterized inconsistently between books because Anne's own opinions have changed. But it also makes him so real.
You follow his struggles with religion, you see him yearn for forgiveness from a god that has seemingly abandoned him a long time ago and you feel it. The passage I will never get over is in the early chapters of The Vampire Lestat, when Lestat has a breakdown over his mother's (and frankly his own) mortality. He struggles and he cries and he can't get out of bed because there's nothing he can do. Eventually he starts to live again, forces himself to.
But.
"I wandered into the church and on my knees I leaned against the wall and I looked at the ancient statues and I felt the same gratitude looking at the finely carved fingers and the noses and the ears and the expressions on their faces and the deep folds in their garments, and I couldn’t stop myself from crying. At least we had these beautiful things, I said. Such goodness. But nothing natural seemed beautiful to me now! The very sight of a great tree standing alone in a field could make me tremble and cry out. Fill the orchard with music. And let me tell you a little secret. It never did pass, really."
I think about those last two sentences a lot. I think about them even more since Anne Rice passed away.
Every page of Interview is spent talking about death and yet (imo) it's only in TVL that you really feel it. Louis in book 1 welcomes death quite readily because, besides his toxic boyfriend and their traumatized daughter, he doesn't have much to live for. He's basically given up by the time Lestat appears. The greatest torture, to Louis, is the knowledge that he can live forever on the suffering of others.
But Lestat is the complete opposite. He wants to listen to music, to explore Paris, to perform on any stage that will take him, to embrace the man he loves and to send his ailing mother letters of his accomplishments. Death matters most to those who are desperate to live and god is he desperate. He's haunted by his mother's sickness, by the wolves on the mountain that threaten to end his life before he's even lived it, the witches place that reeks of meaningless suffering. And in a way, the dark gift provides opportunity to escape that. But it is still death. It takes away Nicki in a very literal way and takes away his mother in a more personal one. Magnus, like death, chose Lestat arbitrarily. He sees the cellar of blonde corpses and knows that he was only one of dozens to meet an untimely death with no explanation.
Lestat also really wants you to know that he is, truly, a good person. He must be. He swears to only hunt criminals and then goes back on that two pages later. He reshapes stories to present himself as the noble protagonist and the audience has no choice but to believe him. He wants, desperately, to be loved for all that he is, man and monster. He wants to be the hero.
He's this awful, fascinating, very human man so clearly born out of the internal struggle to find meaning and love in a cruel, unpredictable world we all tend to share. He's made up of incredibly basic and powerful human desires hidden behind a mask of bravado and I can't recalling seeing another protagonist like him.
(Quick mention: This isn't some kind of "wow Anne Rice is an incredible author who can do no wrong" piece. She's written a lot of fucked up and bad shit that cannot be easily brushed over. But I don't think I'll ever get over reading TVL for the first time. To read someone bare their soul in such a way creates a truly unique experience. A lot of characters in a lot of pieces of media face death, but it's rare to see a character face mortality in such a personal way.)
(Also odds are I've written similar posts to this before but shhhhh these sad gay vampires are all I have)
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overheard-at-camp-half-blood · 10 months ago
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Athena is an Awful Mother- Yes, Even in the Books
As a child of Athena myself, and as a professional Athena hater, I am honestly shocked at how many people think the show itself made her bad, when to me she was always this bad. The books kind of gloss over the stuff she does, and we’re expected to believe she’s one of the “better” godly parents.
I also think that because most of us read these books when we were 11-12, we didn’t quite actually understand the fucked up shit she was doing, but as I get older, the more I question alot of the the decisions she made as both a parent and a “wisdom goddess.”
Because, yeah, a lot of the decisions were straight up horrible. Like, I don’t think you guys understand that there is more issues to her specific brand of neglect, than most of the other gods.
Spoilers for the books below! Also, this will be talking about Athena in the books, not Greek Myth Athena.
I think my main issue with Athena has always been the way her children came into existence. Because children of Athena are born from thoughts in her mind, born to mortal men she admires. Now, as a child, this didn’t seem as bad, because I didn’t understand the complexities of parenting. I still don’t, but I know a bit more from having friends and peers who have children.. and now I see several issues with this.
First, it’s the idea that even at the beginning, she sees her children as commodities. Her children were made to be “gifts” for men, who she admired. And the messed up part, is based on Frederick’s reaction to Annabeth, she doesn’t actually have enough conversations with these men to know if they’re ready to be fathers. And the fact that men getting their PhDs is something she admires… I’m willing to bet a lot of these men aren’t (getting a PHD is already hard, but add a baby on top of that?!?!).
I still think Frederick’s neglect is his own fault, but to say that Athena cannot be blamed for choosing to have her, and then not even being sure if the man she had her with - who had no choice in the matter- even wanted a child? Yeah, that’s fucked up.
But Athena doesn’t even really care.
And I think that’s what bothers me in particular about Athena’s neglect. Is that she had a choice to have not have the children if she wasn’t going to raise them. She chose to have them, whether or not the men she liked even wanted kids.
But she had them anyways- because, again, she sees her children as a commodity.
Now this isn’t to say she has no redeemable qualities. She helped Annabeth find her way to Camp Half Blood. She gave her that invisibility cap. But here’s the thing- nearly every godly parent is seen helping their children in some form or another, or giving them gifts.
Even the bad ones.
Ares is probably a worse godly parent than Athena… but he still gave Clarisse her spear. Zeus turns Thalia into a tree to save her. And idk, I still feel like we all hate Zeus and Ares as parents.
That being said the Mark of Athena… that is what really confirms every negative thought I’ve had about Athena. That she sees her children as commodities and nothing else. Because as much as we love to try to explain it away by saying that it wasn’t actually Athena, it was Minerva… still Athena. Different form, maybe, but it is implied that these gods hold the same beliefs, so this is something that Athena thinks WHOLEHEARTEDLY.
Annabeth refuses to kill the Romans, and then her mother proceeds to call her nothing and disown her. Because again, Athena sees her children as commodities, nothing more. They are gifts given to men. They are resources for her to use to fight her battles- and this whole scene becomes worse when you considering what she was trying to get Annabeth to do-
To find the Mark of Athena, a quest so many of her children have died on, and yet she proceeds to keep sending her children on these quests. But she doesn’t care how many of her own children die on this quest- her pride is more important.
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dark-side-blog3 · 8 months ago
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From "Phantom Blood" to "Stone Ocean", which JJBA part do you think would be the best to be isekai'd into, and which one would be the worst?
Thanks for sending in the question anon! I've been thinking about it all day and going down a bunch of historical rabbitholes to make my choices (which, after typing out several hours later, I realized wouldn't be much fun for anyone to read).
For me personally, I’d say the best one to be isekai’d into would be Diamond is Unbreakable (part 4), and I think the worst one would be Battle Tendency (part 2).
I give my reasoning below, with some heavy editing, which may make it sound a bit strange. I have a tendency to talk too much, so I've tried to edit it down. It's still a bit long.
++++++++++++++
I can't see any benefit to phantom blood, considering Dio is at full overpower with abilities we never see again in other parts, and everyone else would simply be too easy to force into backing off. Johnathan is easy to manipulate, so is a young Erina. Speedwagon can settle for less than he wants in a relationship if he feels Johnathan will judge him for it. And Zeppeli... Is kinda the only threat, but I can't really fathom what a relationship (platonic or romantic) would be like with him. In any case, not the best, but not the worst.
Battle Tendency has my ass beat. I do not run, I will not run, and what would even be the point when more than half the characters in this arc are superhuman/cyborgs? I can't outwit, lie, cheat, or gross out any of them and expect to survive. Even the ones that wouldn't kill me like Suzie Q just have an impenetrable state of delusion. I cannot win this one. Having a horrible time here. Dare I say, the worst time actually.
Because yes: Vento Aureo is all about the mafia having superpowers, and it's well established that they can be some crazy, creative fucks when it comes to torture and murder. And they should be the absolute worst, because organized crime can do way scarier shit than anyone can in Stone Ocean simply because resources and time aren't hard to get.
BUT! I think since there isn't a world war going on, with cyborg Nazis-- Which is a low bar, but such is life when you overthink-- is what makes Vento Aureo better than battle tendency.
And Stone Ocean is... Bad but tolerable. I'd just try my best to mind my own business, and crumple like a paper ball when someone pulls possessive/obsessive shit. It probably wouldn't even connect in my brain the characters are acting yandere, I would just assume they're doing standard prison things since I got isekai'd into the prison arc.
Now that narrows done the best choices between prt 3, and prt 4.
I'mma go ahead and say it: I'd prefer a small town in Japan to crossing countries and continents.
Diamond is Unbreakable has it all. Modern-ish technology, the original pop culture yandere herself, reliable access to medical care (good luck finding my very specific pills in the middle of a desert), and thankfully: A much smaller cast. Keeping track of all the characters in Morioh? Infinitely easier than keeping track of all the characters in Stardust Crusader. Even if we're including those one-off villains, and random background characters, a-la those twisted wonderland isekai.
Though considering JJBA is a franchise that's mostly manga and anime, it's not likely the multiple characters would become interested in the isekai'd victim, since the mechanics would be fundamentally different. A reader or a viewer isn't really a god, they're more of a prophet, if even that. Or just really good at cold reading someones personality. To continue this tangent just a smidge more, I think if you said you got isekai'd, the only people who would both understand what you're saying and believe you is Toshikazu, and maybe Koichi.
What the hell am I supposed to do being dragged place to place, or sitting in a house for three months? With the tech from the 1980's?
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shivunin · 2 years ago
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At the Dead Drop
A letter in an elegant, curling hand which seems to have met with some incident in its sending; it is dotted with water spots and features several crossed-out sections:
16 Guardian, 9:37 Dragon
Carver, 
Checking in, as always. Will leave this letter in the usual manner; let me know if this is no longer the acceptable way to pass messages on. Or—flames—let me know anything at all. It’s been months since I’ve heard from you. Your big sister worries. 
The manor is fine. It’s held up against the snow after the repairs, and there was minor damage, really. None of your things were ruined, and Mother’s room remains in the same state. As for my own bedroom—a little water damage means little. All the important things are downstairs, after all. We did find an unused corner of the wine cellar, though—sold off the really fine stuff after I let the others peruse it for their choices. I’ve plenty of ideas for what to do with the money. 
I suppose there is one thing that I needed   that you should   Flames, I’ll just say it. Fenris and I are together. For good this time.
I am not seeking your approval. I know what you’re going to say. I know how many letters I sent you three years ago, and I know how much of a mess I was then. But—stop making that face right now—this is different. 
I’m not looking for your approval. But—I would like to have it anyway, Carver. You’re my only family left except for—Andraste’s elbow, I haven’t told you—Gamlen and his daughter. Yes; Charade is her name, if you can believe it. Entirely beside the point. I know you hardly ever get these letters, and then it’s all at once, so I’ll write another letter about that when I’m done with this one. 
Things are bad in Kirkwall at the moment. I know you can tell already from other things I’ve said. But Fenris is…he is the only good thing I can count on without reservation. Everyone else has other concerns and other loves. They aren’t wrong to—of course they aren’t. But I need someone who wants me, and not what I can do for them and who will choose me first.
Perhaps that’s selfish of me, or unfair to say. I cannot say I don’t know that. But Carver, maybe it’s time for me to be a little bit selfish. Selflessness didn’t save Bethany, and it didn’t save Mother either. I can carry them with me forever, along with the whole of Kirkwall, or I can live. I know now that I can’t do both.
Maker, how maudlin this is. Oh, well. I’ve heard that you Wardens love a good melodrama, or—maybe just the Ferelden ones. I hope this finds you well, regardless. 
Write back soon. I mean it. 
Your beloved, clever, self-absorbed sister, 
—Maria
A scrap of paper torn from a larger piece; there is writing on one side and what appears to be a section of schematics on the other:
M—
Since when have I given two figs about your relationship drama? You want my approval, you have it. Do what you want, M, you're a big girl and you don't owe anyone shit. Just don’t come crying to me if it goes tits-up again. I’m busy. 
—Carver
P.S. Charade? Say you’re joking.
Another scrap of paper; the drawing on the other side lines up with the schematic on the first:
Fenris, 
If you break my sister’s heart again, I’ll kill you myself. Fair warning.
—Carver
A crisp-edged and carefully folded square of parchment, sealed thickly with charcoal-colored wax. The handwriting is meticulously neat:
Carver:
If I break your sister’s heart, I will let you.
—Fenris
(For day 8 of @14daysdalovers: Approval.)
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1800duckhotline · 7 months ago
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https://www.tumblr.com/1800duckhotline/748414044204154880/i-seriously-think-this-show-was-created-in-a-lab?source=share
hi! im not able to send you dms but i really want to know what you think about hazbin. i downed the entire thing in a day out of morbid fascination of seeing how that artstyle animates, but the quality of the script and handling of the structure of the show are so dogshit that the show has been lodged in my mind. and my friends who i can rely upon for their thoughtful analysis are not people who would watch it.
basically Hello Send Help
Honestly you summed up most of my plights within the show already, its just dogshit all around flaming and whatnot and i cannot believe there's 30 years old who eat this slop up. i can forgive teenagers for liking it (i am very self-aware as someone who read fucking homestuck when i was 13) but i cannot forgive fully grown adults for thinking this show has any sort of nuanced or well-written story
i finished watching the show feeling less aggravated by the designs and visual dev of the whole thing (though obviously its still really bad), and instead more by how insultingly and exhilaratingly bad the writing was.
i could literally take out my blocknote review of the whole show starting from ep 1 to ep 8 but i want to spare my friends who dgaf about hearing about this show. so ill just try to resume concisely my thoughts using my notes as crutches
this will be a very long one and again to spare people of pain ill put it under a readmore
vivienne medrano does not care about the female characters in her own show. idk about helluvaboss and i honestly dont want to watch it unless someone watches it with me, but from what i hear hazbin hotel was supposed to be the show "focused on the girls" while helluva boss was supposed to "focus on theboys". you'll never guess what happens in this show. the main 2 girls, who are supposed to be protagonist, are completely flat characters, that are given the slightest margin of spotlight THE LAST TWO EPISODES OF THE SEASON, and no 8 episodes isnt a justification for the dogshit writing they have. vaggie is the "angry mean militaristic lesbian of color who also coddles her white girlfriend" and charlie is "goody two shoes who doesn't use her powers as literal PRINCESS OF HELL because it's 'too mean' and who is babied and is also written like a baby that doesnt know how to act besides being 'positive and whimsical'". they are literally a ship trope shipped together because idk.
most of the development in the show is handed onto the guys, obviously, as they get the most songs, most exposure to their backstories, and most interactions that are somewhat written less one-dimensionally than the girls. (not to say the guys aren't also walking ship tropes for fanfic purposes). like you can't spin this in a way that doesn't sound bad, the men just get more spotlight and that's a fucking fact. so much for "focus on the girls". fucking SIR PENTIOUS GETS A SONG AFTER HIS DEATH, GUYS
none of the angel vs hell lore makes any fucking lick of sense, and i dont mean to say it needs to be biblically adjacent, it just doesnt make fucking sense even in the "original" lore it is constructing. how is hell supposed to be a threat to heaven when hell denizens dont have access to heaven?? this question alone makes anyone question what the hell the exterminations really are for. also, like, i really fucking hate adam, he's literally the most annoyingly written villain, like he's not even funny in a trashy way. if you want to make your main villain a hypocrite who's also a massive misogynist and sexist, writing him like a frat bro makes sense if your story is set in a college campus. this is HEAVEN AND HELL. all of his lines are just stupid and senseless for the context this all takes place in (also like lute being essentially a tradwife for him is literally such a stupid choice, if you want to make a meaningful commentary about misogyny among women this isnt how it works)
all of the sin and pure shit and repenting deal is like... literally awful. for a show that prides itself on owning the bigots who think gay sex and doing drugs and doing crimes is all inherently evil, the writing really does not do itself a favor of subverting this real-world bigoted way of thinking. as unintentional as it might be it kind of just reinforces it when the character they decide to 'repent' is fucking angel dust, a literal sex worker stuck in a cycle of abuse with an abusive rapist pimp and who does drugs as a way to cope in his life. because obviously sex work (and bdsm) is inherently sinful and disgusting and the only way to repent is to give up disgusting gay sex and sinful drugs and just stick it to the abuser that has you literally by the leash! i dont think this was intentional but it comes off as hilariously stupid and straight up tactless. (also we don't talk about how the storyboarded for the song poison apparently also drew rape comics of angel dust and valentino before as a kink thing)
oh on the topic of valentino, i dont fucking get people liking him. he is literally shown to be abusive and a rapist. people will see a thin man who's not straight and hump his legs like their life depends on it. at least he isnt white but i'd actually say this makes everything worse because vivienne medrano LOVES making the characters in her show of ambiguous ethnicities/backgrounds and ends up making most of the awful ones, of color. again dont think this is INTENTIONALLY done but it still comes across as horrid nonetheless. whew!!!
also i hate alastor in all types ways sauces and forms. he exists to attract fangirls and rabid fans who love tumblr sexymen. other than his design being tremendously aggravating, he's literally just fucking useless, and i hate that the show tries to shoehorn in halfway that he's supposed to be a "dad figure" to charlie when he literally never has done anything dadlike for her in the whole show (and yes i watched the pilot, i still dont think this counts). the only saving grace for alastor is his voice acting. everything else needs to go. there is no saving this one
and, on the topic of alastor, i'm not the first one to point this out but something about him owning husk's soul (the one character being voiced by a black VA, who coincidentally also has a design that is conveniently ambiguous with him being a fucking. winged cat furry demon ig) has like some really bad vibes about it that i can't quite put my finger on. i'm not entirely qualified to like dissect the issues this whole show has with like... the way certain implied characters of color act within it (i say implied because vivziepop is allergic to giving the main characters of her shows actual dark skin colors that arent grey, except maybe some one-off side characters) but it was just so jarring i had to mention it
i also hate lucifer because again, made for purely fanfic ship tropes and rabid fans who are obsessed with 'pathetic sopping wet cat men' with that signular character trait. his persnality is: Depression and Dad. I literally hated every fucking moment in this show where he was in a scene and was treated as "just some guy". same with charlie. Like the lack of authority they have for a supposed KING AND PRINCESS OF HELL is just... i dont know? stupid?
conclusion is that i hate the show, i will however bee seeing season 2 just because at this point im in it for the long run, its just like, other than the visuals being awful; it was legitimately the least aggravating part for me (THIS DOESNT MEAN I LIKE THEM, I DONT, I HATE THEM TOO) but the whole writing is just... wow. i just don't understand how they got a24 to back this up. like you cant make this shit up this bad even if you tried. and im sure there's a trillion other things other people have more eloquently explained in how and which ways they are bad; these are just some of my thoughts.
my concluding statement is that i also feel really bad for people who do entire rewrites of this thing as 'fans'. i dont get it. like i get doing redesigns because it can be an exercise and because lets be real, like, everyones design is bad, hardly anything is salvageable or makes sense. but rewriting... guys please just make your own stories from scratch. at the cost of being told "omg this is just like hazbin hotel!" you have to persevere and just write your own shit. because doing the redesigns means unpacking heaps of 'lore' that doesnt make any whatsoever sense...
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the-yuri-librarian · 9 months ago
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Hi..... if you don't mind, can I ask, your top 10 (or top 7) favorite GL media (can be books/ manga/manhwa/baihe/ anime/movies/tv series)? And why you love them? Thanks if you want to answer....
I don't mind at all! In fact, putting together a top ten has been on my to do list for a while but I haven't done it yet because it seems real daunting. But, I'll try my best here. Spoiler alert, my #1 spot is a tie. I love both titles and I can't pick between them:
1a. Pulse (manhwa):
Premise: Mel is an expert surgeon at an esteemed hospital, and she is happy with where she is in her life. Her work is fulfilling, she has tons of sex, and everything seems to be generally going her way. But, she has no real emotional connections. Mel believes that love is a foolish game, so instead of dating with any real seriousness, she chooses to bounce from hook up to hook up. But, that all changes when Mel meets Lynn. Lynn has a fatal heart condition and desperately needs a transplant. But, she wants Mel to be the one to perform the surgery. As Lynn entangles herself in Mel's life, the stone of Mel's heart begins to crack....
Why I love it: the story in Pulse is incredible. Mel's character arc is perfectly developed, and her backstory is very interesting when you finally get there (she's also very hot lol). Lynn is equally well developed, fighting for her life while also contemplating it's value. The ups and downs of their relationship is gripping, and the ending left me in tears. I do think there is a pretty major flaw in the story near the end, but I won't get into it here as I plan on doing a review after I reread it in February. CW: sexual assault. It is a bit of an age gap but not a huge one. Also this is very spicy
1b. Love Thy Neighbor (manhwa):
Premise: Doyeon seems to be perfect. She has a large group of friends, a perfect GPA, and is sailing through med school with ease. But, she has one problem: her neighbor keeps her up at night. Whether it is debt collectors pounding on the door at all hours of the day, or the neighbor crying into the night while the TV plays, Doyeon can't get any sleep. Eventually, the debt collectors get physically aggressive, and Doyeon has no choice but to pull her neighbor into her apartment to save her. The neighbor, a woman named Jin Joo, ends up staying at Doyeon's apartment for her own safety. This is all fine and well, but why is Doyeon starting to have sex dreams about her?
Why I love it: so, three things here right up front: 1. there is also an age gap in this story (which I think is a coincidence), 2. It is very spicy and 3. it is incredibly toxic (to the point that consent between the two characters becomes murky) and not for the faint of heart. With all that out of the way: I love this story. Doyeon is so incredibly interesting as a character (and might be a genuine sociopath); all she wants to do is be loved unconditionally and she never gets it and that internal tension is incredible. The plot is also very dramatic, and it makes it HARD to put it down (also I've read through season 1 like 3 times in 4 months). I literally count the days between chapter releases. I didn't think I would enjoy a psychological drama so much but this one really knocks it out of the park. This drama has the effect of, murky consent aside, making the sex scenes electric. They are so well written, carrying significant narrative weight while also being genuinely very hot. There is this constant battle for control between our romantic leads that leaks into their sex, and it's just chef's kiss. I cannot stress enough how much I love this story. Season 2 just started releasing a couple weeks ago so now is an excellent time to jump on board. (PSA: if anyone my mutuals or followers starts reading this PLEASE send your live reactions to my DMs I will love you forever I wanna talk to someone about this story so bad)
3. Qualia the Purple (manga)
Premise: [Redacted]
Why I love it: so this is by far the weirdest love story I have ever read, and it is terribly sad. How far would you go to save the person you love most? The lengths Yukari wuld go to save her love are endless, and her desperation is what makes this tale worth reading. I really don't want to say too much here because this story is best experienced knowing as little about is as possible before you start reading it (also why I didn't include a premise). As a heads up: this story is deeply philosophical and may make you cry. Be sure to read the afterword
4. Nevermore (webtoon)
Premise: Lenore and Annabel Lee both wake up on a distant shore with no memories of who they are. Chased by bizarre spirits, they flea until they stumble upon Nevermore Academy. Here, they are told that they are dead, and that they are here to compete for a second chance at life. Also, they can turn into ghosts with superpowers. As they being to move through the trials, it becomes increasingly clear that their previous lives were deeply tied together. But the question remains: what are they to each other?
Why I love it: the real allure to this story is the mystery. Who is Lenore? Who is Annabel Lee? What is the truth behind Nevermore Academy? The list of questions is never-ending. Also, Lenore is an incredibly charming protagonist, whose quick wit and determination makes it impossible to not cheer for her. The is also inspired heavily by Edgar Allen Poe's work and the gothic literary tradition (and aesthetic). In fact, Lenore's name, as well as Nevemore Academy's name, comes from the poem "The Raven," and Annabel Lee is named after the famous poem of the same name. Coincidentally, both this story and the poem "Annabel Lee" take place "in a kingdom by the sea." As a literature nerd, this is a HUGE plus for me. Especially recommend this story for those who like to try and figure out what's going on before the characters do (so, if you were in the red string brigade while The Magnus Archives was airing this is a must read)
5. Her Tales of Shim Chong (manhwa)
Premise: This manhwa is a historical, girls' love retelling of classic Korean novel The Tale of Shim Chong. It tells the story of Shim Chong, a beggar who is desperately trying to make ends meet to feed her and her blind father, and the soon-to-be second Madame Jang, who has been sold into marrying the Chancellor to give her family a better position. After a chance encounter, they build a friendship -- and eventually more -- that transcends class boundaries. But not everyone is happy with the Chancellor's new wife, and Chong's presence is far from welcome in the royal palace. When the Chancellor falls into a mysterious coma after the wedding night, his children make plans to oust Madam Jang, and it may be up to Shim Chong to save not only their relationship, but their lives.
Why I love it: I think the premise of this story is so so romantic; it drives me crazy. Madame Jang is essentially trapped by the narrative, and Shim Chong is the only one who is able and willing to break her out. The premise creates the perfect setting to critique not only the historical politics of Korea, but also the treatment of women within Korean culture (disclaimer: I am far from an expert here but I think the theme is very prevalent). It is also probably the only yuri I've read so far that would qualify as magical realism, which ties in to the folktale setting with ease. There is not a lot of physical affection in this story, but when it's there, it's so sweet I can't help but swoon. If you like historical fiction, I would recommend starting here out of everything on this list (or start with the next entry).
6. Goodbye, My Rose Garden (manga)
Premise: Hanako is a Japanese woman who has come to England in search of her favorite author. In the meantime, she looks for work as a maid and is eventually hired by a noblewoman named Alice. But, Alice has an unbelievable request for Hanako: she wants Hanako to kill her. Hanako immediately begins trying to find out why Alice wants to throw away her life, and as she does she finds a hidden side of the noblewoman kept deep under wraps...
Why I love it: this story is so romantic, and tense, and dramatic that it has become critically acclaimed - and for good reason. The depiction of historical views on homosexuality are really well done and is juxtaposed well next to Hanako's sapphic awakening. I really think that this yuri is a must read, not just because of the romance, but because of the historical perspectives portrayed within. I wish I could say more but it's been a while since I've read it, and I plan on rereading it and posting a review sometime within the first half of this year
7. Mage & Demon Queen (webtoon)
Premise: In a world where demons and humans are at constant war, Malori has survived childhood and become a powerful mage..... because she is totally in love with the Demon Queen, Velverosa. In fact, Malori would do anything to spend time with her, and she means anything. Day after day Malori climbs the Demon Queen's tower to try and win her heart, and day after day she is defeated. Will the Demon Queen ever love her? Or, will Velverosa be slain before their relationship has time to blossom?
Why I love it: ONE OF THE ROMANTIC LEADS IN THIS STORY IS A TRANS WOMAN (it's Vel lol). But also: this is by far the funniest yuri I have ever read. Whether is is on the cheesy side or the genuinely hilarious side, the humor in this story is baked all the way through, giving it an adorable charm. Additionally, Vel's slow decent into love is so fucking adorable that I often find myself going back to reread her confession; it's just so sweet. If you like a wholesome, light hearted story, or are a big fan of RPGs or isekais (it's not one but it's close enough), then you MUST give this a read. I'm afraid Webtoons.com is putting it behind a paywall soon (against it's creator's wishes), but you may be able to find it else where possibly.
8. Sunstone (American comic)
Premise: in this erotic romcom, Lisa is a writer and, more importantly, a submissive. Ally is a well-experienced programmer and considers herself a dominatrix. They have one thing in common: they have never done BDSM in real life. One day, they meet in a virtual chat room and become fast friends. This friendship evolves as they begin exchanging DMs, and eventually they decide to meet up. They hit it off just as well in person as they do online, and their one time sexual encounter becomes much more, changing their lives forever.
Why I love it: this comic features probably the most realistic depiction of a BDSM relationship - and BDSM sex - that I have ever seen. The characters are complicated, and messy, and so human that you can't helped but be sucked into their lives. It also features one of the most romantic confessions I have ever experience in yuri. Just top notch writing from top to bottom, while also treating the subject matter with dignity and care. The writer has a lot of experience with BDSM in real life, and it really shows with the way the series treats consent, safe words, and after care. If you've never read this story, you need to change that asap. You're really missing out.
9. Whisper me a love song (manga)
Premise: On her first day of high school, Himari watches a band play at the opening ceremony, where she immediately "falls in love" with the lead singer. The next day, she runs into that singer, Yori, and tells her so. Yori's response is unexpected: she says, "I love you, too." Quickly, and awkwardly, Himari realizes that her platonic feelings are being met with Yori's romantic feelings. As their friendship develops, she begins to wonder: what does it mean to love someone?
Why I love it: I really love music, especially rock and punk music, so a romance story based around a musician is automatically going to appeal to me and this one is no exception. Himari's struggle with her sexuality feels so real, and Yori's determination to win Himari's heart naturally compels her internal conflict forward until she has to decide. This manga is so so so cute, especially considering Himari's puppy dog like energy, and this story is almost guaranteed to make you swoon. It is ongoing and getting an anime this year, so please read it and support the official release!
10. Bloom into You (manga)
Premise: Bloom into You tells the story of high school freshman Yuu, as she discovers herself and tries to gain an understanding of "love," which all of her friends seem enamored with. She has never had someone who felt special to her in that way, though she desperately wants to. This all changes when she meets sophomore Nanami, who has also never fallen in love. As they get to know each other, Nanami begins to fall in love with Yuu, though Yuu does not understand why. At the same time, Yuu thinks her chest may be starting to flutter, a feeling that she has longed for but still does not understand...
Why I love it: so there was no way that this wasn't making the list, right? It is the standard for high school yuri, and for good reason. Yuu and Nanami are perfect for each other, and Yuu's slow decent into love is incredible to watch. If you have never read yuri and you want to know where to start, the answer is right here. It is, in fact, required reading. If I were to teach a semester long university class on yuri (a fantasy situation I think about alot), this would be the first story I would assign. The romantic tension is mesmerizing, the supporting cast is top tier, and the ending is immensely satisfying. There is also ace/aro representation, arguably in the main character and canonically in the supporting cast. I am currently doing a live blog/analysis of Bloom into You if you want to follow along with me, though I am very behind on it (I swear I'm gonna continue it, and I'm sorry to my followers :( the new year has not been kind to me lol).
I have done reviews and analysis of some of these series, and have borrowed summaries from those posts. I am linking those down below in case you haven't read them. However, if you read the Qualia the Purple review before reading the manga I will find you:
Her Tales of Shim Chong Review
Qualia the Purple Review
Bloom into You Ch. 1 Analysis
Bloom into You Ch. 2 Analysis
Edit: I just realized that you asked for girls lov books too, so I guess that is going to have to be a separate post....
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wander-wren · 2 years ago
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i keep seeing shiver slander and as someone who has spent multiple years trying to get everyone i know to read that silly werewolf romance i NEED to list all the reasons i like it, thank you. out of context spoilers below the cut, if you care about that at all. this also devolved into whole series spoilers but it’s still mostly shiver
the text (in my paperback copy) is fucking blue. for the other books which are green/red/orange themed THE TEXT MATCHES this has nothing to do with the book i just think it slaps
speaking of design the og covers are better. color coded leaves and vines with a red blood spatter dot for the i. bc characters get shot a surprising amount. it’s cool sorry
grace is the first protag i ever read who was so relentlessly practical. she has her life plan. she’s very organized. she’s going to college. she doesn’t have time for parties. she’s me except she reads exclusively nonfiction and mystery
she’s like this bc her parents are artsy types and very neglectful, they never got past their college kid phases. actually this is super interesting taken next to something like the dreamer trilogy where art is literally magic. but childhood trauma count: 3
it’s 3 bc they’re so bad at being parents they let her get attacked by wolves as a kid and also she nearly died from being left in a car the following summer
sam is my baby boy. he loves books, he knows a ton of poetry but especially rilke, he bakes bread and makes origami birds to hang in his bedroom and he’s a musician
he was raised by a relentlessly practical but very caring werewolf dude after his parents tried to murder him for being a werewolf when he was seven. childhood trauma count: 4
do you see. do you see how they are each other’s opposites. except for the small detail that sam’s second dad loved him. fuck
beck is sam’s dad and he’s so fucking complicated but i adore him.
they both link their hands behind their head when they’re stressed. they make the same facial expressions. i. cannot. dad and son
cole st clair exists. he’s a canadian rockstar turned werewolf BY CHOICE and he and sam are incredibly at odds over this. cole is deeply suicidal and a genius and i am fascinated by him
i’m gonna get more unhinged. ready? small warning for a few gore mentions
shelby
just. shelby’s scar scene. torturing an alive bird by playing with it’s entrails. “it looked like hamburger when they bit me. it must be hell when we kill something. we must be the worst way to die”
but also: that blink and you miss it scene where she tries to tell sam pretending he can be normal is pointless and he should Accept his wolfishness and she’s fucking up his school papers and beck drags her out and tells her to remember where she came from, and if she ever says that to sam again he will send her back. and shes screaming. fuck. what the FUCK.
i’m gonna repeat that shelby
beck being the one who turned sam bc his wife died and he was selfish and stupid. goddamn
grace when she starts turning in linger. grace who just wants a nice apartment and a red coffee pot. it’s about holding onto the one inconsequential thing as a metaphor for stability/happiness
the first bathtub scene. fuck. FUCK. save your new boyfriend from turning wolf but you have to purposely trigger flashbacks to his childhood trauma. what the fuck
cole not believing in sam’s trauma and dragging him to the bathroom only for sam to have another flashback in front of him
fucking. jack’s death. he’s a dick but holy shit
the scene where sam plays his guitar in the bathtub and Is Okay. ohmygod my heart
beck talking to grace and telling her that sam is more human than the others and being a wolf is torture for him. he’s the best damn person beck knows and beck ruined him bc of his own selfishness and spent a decade trying to make up for it
FUCKING MR DARRIOS DOGS WHAT THE FUCK
childhood trauma count: 6 (i forgot to count shelby)
cole’s voicemails to isabel. dies
cole wants to die so so so much and all his internal monologues about it make me cry
grace and isabel reluctant friendship
i have no idea what book it is but that scene with isabel in the mexican restaurant trying to play normal with her family
that scene from i want to say linger where grace starts vomiting blood and when it’s over the first thing she says is “sam. my hair.” so sad and miserable and its not ABOUT her hair having gunk in it its. a metaphor. please
the fucking helicopter chase scene. it’s not even until book 3 but if there was an adaptation that is the one scene i would want to see
every scene with grace and her parents fucking breaks my heart bc they’re not breaking the law they’re just ignoring her. grace thinking that if she was less of a golden child they would pay attention to her and shes RIGHT bc as soon as she breaks the rules for sam….
isabel and her parents are also so. soo. no one has a healthy parental relationship not even beck and sam
SPEAKING OF WHEN BECK SHOWS UP WITH COLE AND VIKTOR AND SAM IS SO FUCKING BETRAYED? they chose this life but it’s hell for him, he can’t imagine forcing anyone into it
but also the fucking scene where jack kidnaps grace and she calls beck and pretends to have a normal conversation while he tries to get info about her location and jack’s intentions….that’s the scene that always makes me bawl idk why. beck is so reassuring
grace hating poetry until sam reads it to her
CHRISTA. NO ONE EVER TALKS ABOUT CHRISTA.
she exists in exactly one flashback where she and beck are fighting bc she killed someone (as a wolf) and beck is lecturing her and she’s like “this isn’t a life i’m a monster and i’ll cope how i damn well please” and beck tells her to leave and never come back. and he follows her into the backyard and shoots her.
grace in the mud pit in whatever book that was
to end on a happy note: sam and grace in the golden wood. sam and grace on their coffee/candy store date. grace crying when sam reads her poetry and finally understanding it/art for the first time. sam as a person in winter for the first time in a decade. i cry
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severance-official · 10 months ago
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please PRETTY PLEASE share your meta about anything from the show 😔🙏♥️ (and also thanks for being here and giving updates. we probably have to wait a long time so let's make the best of it)
okay im giving up The Bit of being Lumoncore to answer this, namely because i have to start with this : anon i adore you, thank you so so much for send me this ask and for your enthusiasm! I'm so grateful ❤️
and yeah, the wait between seasons is already so rough, and having double strikes in the middle definitely extended the timeline. But I've got hope in my heart to see season two before 2026.
Anyway, the meta about this art, and specifically about Helly/Helena
So I have to start by saying how much I adore the overlap style of color in the art. Not only is it beautiful and evocative of both the raw energy in postmodern art and the overlay of the self that is commented on with the severance process, but it really hits at the core overlaps between Helly and Helena.
The caption "self-loathing" feels directly focused on Helly hating Lumon and also specifically hating her other half. Her journey begins with "I don't want to be here" and then she's immediately told that escape is impossible because Helena wants her to be here.
"You are not a person, I am."
Helly is a person and she refuses to let anyone tell her otherwise. She cannot leave, and her hatred of Helena results in self harm because it's the only way she can harm Helena, because, of course, they are the same body.
If Helena is a person, then so is Helly. And if Helly has to suffer, so will Helena.
Both of their hands on the chopping block, but only Helly holds the blade. The extension cord noose.
Helly only gets what she wants when she causes harm. But that's still not enough.
She nearly dies when she hangs herself and Helena still sends her(self) back there.
Why?
Because if Helena is a person, then Helly is too. And I would argue that Helly is trapped, but Helena is too.
The main things we learn about Helena are at the gala. Another one of my favorite posts that goes along with this meta is this comparison of the apology repetition and young Helena reciting the core principles. Lumon is a cult, Jame Eagan is obviously a true believer of that cult, and he has indoctrinated Helena into that same cult.
Cults are abusive. I fully believe Helena was abused as a child. Even if the only evidence we have is "repeat this mantra before bed, no I wont let you sleep until you do" I would consider that abuse. And we see the psychological abuse of the severed workers and we see the implied physical abuse with Mark's bruised knuckles. So who knows what else Jame authorized to happen to Helena growing up, but I can't imagine it was good. Cults never are.
Helena is trapped, just like Helly is.
Helly's (self)hatred of Helena is more than just Helly hating her oppressor, the person sending her back here. And it's more than just Helly's hatred of Lumon, as Helena becomes a good motif not just for an individual (like Mark's outie is) making a small bad choice, but as part of the institution facilitating the pain on a large scale.
If we follow the theory that the innies/worksonas carry a core element of the innate personality of their irl counterparts, then my argument is that Helly contains Helena's own self-hatred.
Not the hatred of an outside force, not even the hatred of her father (thought that probably is there too).
The hatred of the fact that she is part of a system she, even with all her privilege, is not safe in. In a system that says "you were given the noose, but get back in there". She is letting this system chew her up and spit her out.
In part, she doesn't know anything else.
But I think Helly shows us that some small part of Helena knows this is wrong. She does not want to be here and she wants out.
Helena can't get out. Helly's odds are worse, but if there is a way out, she will find it.
I would like to conclude this thesis with the open eye at the center of the original drawing. Helly knows her own internal truth (I want out) but is not allowed to see the larger pieces at play, who controls Lumon, and what the real world is like. Helena lives in the real world, but cannot access the inner strength to get free. Perhaps she's been brainwashed in this cult for so long, she doesn't even conscious know she wants to be free of it.
It's only when they're "together" with Helly controlling their shared body in the real world, that they have any shot at getting out.
But the tear track, under their shared eye? I believe there's a moment, when Helly sees Helena say "I would never ask them to do something I am not willing and excited to do myself" that she learns they're both trapped. And we've done this all from Helly's point of view but I bet, waking up choking? Being in the hospital only to go back down the elevator again? Helena has had the same realization.
If Helena is a person, so is Helly. If Helly is trapped, so is Helena.
They finally see the full picture of what they're up against. And the tragedy would be, even together, how matter how hard they fight, they might not win.
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angegova · 8 months ago
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Summary:
Summary: This is my first fic. I wrote this just because I cannot live with CC version and I had to add my own closure ... hope you enjoy..No Beta.. sorry..
Tagging @today-in-fic
Mulder enters the church, takes his glasses off to adapt himself to the darkness of the place.
He can see a stream of light entering trough the stained glass showing a multicolor rays of gold, blue, purple, red and how it all sits right upon Scully it makes her hair brighter. Mulder can help but wondering it this small beam is a God’s signal upon her. He walks the remaining steps and sits next to her ….
“Hey” – he says in a whisper- She gives him a tiny smile.
“You know Scully of all the possible scenarios that ran through my head, I’ve never ever thought this could happen, I never thought that all the choices will lead us to this very moment “
She is silent… emotion evident in her face.
“I mean… we are really here and”. He takes one of her hands in his and bring it to his mouth for a kiss. “And we had been granted something so big … a second chance... it’s like a wakeup call .... I can’t even…. understand the how “
Scully remains silent looking at the hand in her lap… after a long silence from her…  Mulder places his other hand on her chin and lifts her head to look her in the eyes.
“Talk to me”
“Mulder... I just ... I don’t know how I feel…. I want so bad to hope for this but it’s just so difficult.... I am tired of hoping for things that are always taken away from me... from us...  I don’t want to hope again only to find out at the end that it was never meant to be”
He lets go of her chin and places it in on her abdomen, Scully follows  and places one hand on top of his...“I can hope for you and me Scully, but I need to know if this is what you want” ….He closes his eyes rest his  forehead in her temple.
“I want this so much Mulder...  and I feel guilty for it …I am terrified... I don’t know how this can be different from last time… how can I bring another life to be just…” Scully chokes with tears in her eyes.
“Hey no, no … look at me Scully…  I know this whole situation it’s odd, out of time, out of place… but this is our doing Scully…  just you and me… no wicked plots... no darkness behind it... we made this..” He softly clutches her belly. “I don’t want darkness to take this away from us …not this time “
“How can you be sure that this only us ..that this is not something else?” She whispers and leans into him desperately  wanting  the  strength of his believes to carry her through this …
“I just feel it, don’t ask me why.. I feel like this has ignited something in me … I understand how you feel… I do… believe me I do…  but we´ll figure  this out step by step…. let me be the one to carry you whenever you need, let me believe for the two of us...  I remember when I told you that you deserved so much more... and you do Scully you always have …I wanted this for you so badly but  I  was never sure that  I deserved this for me, now I want  so much to be a part of this even if I am… this old “he smiles  ….
Scully opens her eyes taking on his words, her eyes flooded with tears ... “Mulder”
“Let’s   take this leap of faith together … I promise I’ll be there all the all the way, I’ll behave and I will change  every single diaper if you want “  in his typical Mulder humor  ….
 
Scully lets out a real smile for the first time…she is so in love with this man… she feels a small tingling inside her body that stars building a fire in her stomach and sends waves of heat through her body, warming her up ,she looks at his hazel eyes and suddenly … his love, his hope hits her…like a train on a track  “Mulder. I… have never wanted something so much for both of us…. please help me to hope, to believe… I don’t think I can do this alone “
“Always Scully” … he says… they look at each other talking trough their eyes... and they kiss …a warm and slow kiss that let their bodies do the talk. Here... now with this kiss they close this commitment, they had been building this moment since years ago and now they have  all their love packed in a tiny little bundle in Scully’s  womb… this baby represents  the most  undying and greatest  love that anyone of them has ever had …this is who they are  now , life is giving them this present and with open arms they decided to take it.
Their kiss ends and forehead to forehead they breathe, take it all in, slowly they open their eyes and   smile to each other Scully gives him a whispered “I love you “ Mulder   tucks a hair behind her ear  “ I love you so much Dana” after a while  Mulder stands up   tugs at her hand   and turns them both   to leave.. He turns briefly to the altar before they go and in a voice inaudible to Scully he whispers “I will make it right this time  I promise”  to whoever is listening..
Scully walks with him to the gate hand in hand, leaving behind the darkness of the church and emerge into the last rays of daylight, hearts at peace and minds set in their future.
Today they have chosen this path, one that won’t be walked alone or in the shadows anymore
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lockandkeyhyena · 10 months ago
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long anon again! I hope you don't mind me sending you so many asks, your story has been producing so many thoughts out of me lately!
Not sure if this is too personal but I do want to clarify that I am myself a victim of multiple occurrences of grooming / attempted kidnapping. My whole family is comprised of mainly women / children and while I am no victim to any sexual act myself, it is unfortunately very common among the other members of my family (my older sibling is a direct result of csa, our mother is still haunted by the trauma to this day, she turned to drugs and everything it is very bad). I'm for sure not offering my support without any personal say in the matter haha
I feel like, despite my support for your story, my own personal views are very different from yours (and from the other anons who have spoken their own personal support). While I enjoy exploring the humanity of horrible people in media, I feel like in real life, it only truly makes me hate them more. If that makes sense?
The way I see it... Yes, these awful criminals are human, but that only makes their actions worse. They are entirely capable of care and consideration. Of recognizing right from wrong. And yet they make the choice to hurt others in some of the worse ways imaginable, deliberately, sometimes repeatedly, and often for nothing more than their own personal pleasure. And by the end of the day, the crime is nothing to them. They are able to walk away and live their sickeningly normal, bland lives, they are able to work their jobs, and enjoy their hobbies, and hug their mothers like it doesn't even matter. No regret. No apologies. So pity.
They are human but they are just about the worst of what our species has to offer. Forgiveness is off the table and my hatred is something I will take to the grave, and beyond, if there ever is the possibility.
Do I think these criminals can become better people? Yes, but I don't think it really matters after the deed is done. If it were up to me those kinds of criminals would spend the rest of their lives behind bars, and while I don't advocate for *torture* I for certain believe in punishment; proper consequences for ones actions. Maybe I could even tolerate rehabilitation, but never freedom. Never freedom.
To me its just another case of priority. I think of things on a mass, wider scale. These criminals are human, but they are humans who make the deliberate choice to hurt others. Some of them even *enjoy* doing it. They are a legitimate danger to the people around them, and to me it is only the logical decision to put innocent people before criminals, and especially before child predators. I cannot in good faith release someone who chooses to abuse kids out into the wild, no matter how many times I put them through a rehab program, because I absolutely cannot guarantee nobody else will get hurt.
If I make the promise that a criminal is rehabilitated, and that criminal goes on to hurt more people, well that blood would -- albeit indirectly -- be on *my* hands, wouldn't it? Am I willing to risk the lives and wellbeing of innocent people, innocent children, for the possibility of a criminal to be good? I can't do that... Maybe it isn't fair, but it wasn't fair of them to ruin an innocent persons life to begin with. There's only so much a society can do to prevent these kinds of things from happening (even a hypothetical perfect society wouldn't be able to eradicate all crime), at some point you have to make the decision to just keep bad people away from their targets. Obviously that goes without addressing the flaws of the modern day prison system, but I will not go into that.... lol
That and, I don't truly feel like *being good* is enough to constitute a 'redemption' for child abusers, at least in the real world. To me a bad person, especially of that caliber, has to *do good* in order to earn any sort of redemption. If you abuse a child and you truly regret it, I fully expect you to save 20 kids from a burning building and donate charity to victims for the rest of your life. After some proper consequences of course. Loll. Anyways those are just my thoughts!
hello again haha! no worries whatsoever, your thoughts are really interesting to read!
i think your perspective is really interesting and honestly, necessary, while it doesn’t line up exactly with mine, i can absolutely see where you’re coming from.
i definitely agree with you on the ‘being a better person’ and ‘doing better things’ aspect. you better save those children from a burning building.
and your analysis of predators being human and that making them worse is something i’ve never thought about that way and is a perspective i greatly appreciate!!
ultimately, the aim for my story is not to tell you how to feel about these terrible people but to show you that some people *can* change, regardless of people’s reactions to that.
i would personally never forgive alvin, hell i might even never stop hating him, but i think that being the case and him trying to be a better person regardless is what makes the story important.
anyway, i greatly enjoy your anons!! thank you for your thoughts haha, everyone should be reading them- you’re extremely articulate and informed
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